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jdrizzle15 · 3 years

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Her Second Return

Just like all of you, and especially my fellow Penny fans, I am absolutely devastated by the Volume 8 finale. I had been in quite a state these last few days, utterly heartbroken, and actually nauseous at times. It feels strange to me to be legitimately grieving a fictional character, but it’s not a bad thing to feel this way. To me, this just shows that CRWBY loves her just as much as us to have written her so well that we connect so completely with her, that it feels like we lost an actual piece of ourselves when she’s gone.

But as you can probably tell by the title, this mega post isn’t gonna be about accepting this end, not in the slightest! Today I want to share canon evidence that can point towards another return of our beloved quirky red headed cinnamon bun! I’m here to spread this hope that I and others in the Nuts & Dolts dolts Discord server have!

I have this separated into many different sections to keep these thoughts organized. With that said, here goes…

A Father’s Words:

In Episode 7 of Volume 7, ‘Worst Case Scenario’ we learn the origins of Penny’s aura, and thus her soul. We also learn that it takes more aura each time she’s brought back. This leaves open an option that could be used at a later point.

Many people theorized that Pietro could indeed revive Penny one more time, which he would absolutely do. But there also lies the possibility that someone else could donate some of theirs, I’m not sure about this as I feel like it’s akin to blood donation where compatibility matters or there's a high risk of altering her, but the possibility is definitely there.

Now, the conversation in Chapter 5 of Volume 8, ‘Amity’ that Pietro and Penny have is an important moment for both Father and Daughter. It was there to show how her death in PvP all that time ago really did have a heavy impact on him and is still affecting him to this day.

Instead of continuing to pretend that everything is A-okay, like he had done for most of Volume 7, he finally lets his true feelings about how it come out to Penny for what is quite likely the first time. Even going so far as to say "Are you asking me to go through that again?" when she offers to take the risk of trying to lift Amity with her power. He wants Penny to be able to live her life.

This entire scene with Pietro established “this is what will likely happen” even if circumstances are much different now, it doesn’t negate the fact that this is a key part of Penny’s story. Scenes like these have a purpose beyond simply making an eventual death all the more heart wrenching. Her never actually getting to live her life makes those scenes basically moot. It makes them effectively pointless from narrative point of view. Unless there's more to it.

Building Relationship:

The build up between Ruby and Penny the last two volumes has been absolutely phenomenal with a definite destination in mind, and this doesn’t feel like that destination. So much of the arc of this season was to help Penny. This girl that our main protagonist absolutely adores and treasures, it would just be awful to throw all of that out for what amounts to an avoidable end. Why use so much of their precious and very limited runtime on deliberately building up this relationship only to end it abruptly, and permanently, when they’re separated?

In my opinion, RT is definitely smarter now than to intentionally set up what was really looking like a budding gay relationship only to kill one of them for good. If N&D wasn't actually going in a romantic direction, why would they leave in all of the romance-adjacent stuff that they got, that's not how ‘just friends’ act. And that is not something you use such valuable time building up for absolutely no pay off whatsoever...

Representation of Hope:

At its core, RWBY has always been about hope. It’s not at the forefront the whole time, but there's been an underlying theme of hopefulness that has persisted since it began. Some describe the show as a Hopepunk, I personally find this to describe RWBY really well. This genre of storytelling is about caring for things deeply and the courage and strength it takes to do so. It’s about never submitting or accepting the way things are. Fighting for what you believe in and standing up for others. RWBY fits all of this extremely well. How does this relate to Penny? She has been shown to be a sign of hope for everyone, but especially for Ruby, the main main protagonist. A prerequisite for a Hopepunk story is the hope.

Her first death in V3 was something that fundamentally changed Ruby. For the first time in the series, we see our main character all but broken by this event. With the loss of Penny, immediately afterwards, Ruby’s hope followed. She made up for it through determination and force of will. We see it affect her multiple times throughout the journey to Volume 7. But upon her return in V7, Hope reached a high point for everyone, the sheer relief on Ruby’s face is plain to see!

In V8 chapter 5 ‘Amity’, Penny literally raises hope by lifting the arena into the sky so Ruby could spread her message. And when she falls, and Amity with her, the connection is lost and hope plummets again. From there things take a very negative turn with the hack begins to take Penny’s agency.

In chapter 11 ’Risk’ is the point in the arc where everyone is reunited for the moment, so two separate hero stories are no longer a thing at that point in time. For the time being focus seemed to be shifted to care about the characters and how they’re going to solve the current problems. This is also where Ruby reaches her lowest emotional point in the season.

It’s not huge, but it’s interesting how connected this is. Before Ruby and Yang share a good cry over learning the possible fate of Summer, Yang brings up restoring optimism and hope to Ruby after the younger sister storms out of the room in frustration. This is where Penny’s scenes take up the rest of the episode. Getting Penny back in control of her own body and safe again is what makes the ending of the episode much brighter, when just 5 minutes before Ruby had been distraught and scared. This then spills over into the group coming up with the plan to use the staff, putting the main group in a much better mood. Of all the things to go right, it’s interesting that it’s Penny.

Things go wrong with the plan in the end and Penny dies. I find it interesting that once again, Penny got them hopeful in their chances of doing something right. Given said plan succeeded but at the cost of Penny of all people, Penny is shown to be the beginning and end of hope for them

The highest and lowest points for hope seem to directly correlate to when Penny’s around. When she comes back again, hope will return too, just like it had before. And because she’ll likely be back for good this time, the second return will probably be close to when Ruby is nearing the complete abandonment of hope. This would be pretty par for the course of the show honestly.

A little aside, but in a sense, Penny also represents Unity. The CCT in Vale fell after her first death, knocking out global communications and the unifying connection it gave. When it was restored for the briefest moment, she was there. Her body connected so she could allow for its launch, her soul lighting the night to hold up Amity with every ounce of her strength. So of course when the Hack succeeds and she falls, she takes global comms down again with her. At a smaller scale - even at the Hack's second last attempt to control her, she draws everyone in the Schnee Manor together. At the start of the volume, Yang states the one thing that they all agree on is not surrendering Penny.

Unity seems appropriate for one whose first song and wish was for but one friend, who would go on to find so many more in the process, and permit for a moment the possibility of all Remnant becoming friends once more. Where she first died, the name of the episode devoted to her story - Amity, "friendship", from the Latin root amicus, "friend" - she almost lives and dies with the very possibility of a united Remnant. It's no wonder she's a priority target for Salem, the great divider, and it seems natural that her next restoration may very well allow the next bid to bring the world together.

The Void Screams:

Moments after Penny's death, we hear a weird scream in the void space. It was a guttural, pained, angry scream, almost like the void space itself was crying out. All the portals shuddered and flickered when it happened.

Some think that this scream was Salem returning, but that happens earlier than Penny’s death, her return is signaled with cinder's arm acting up. We know this because after the arm finished flailing uncontrollably, Cinder said triumphantly "she's back." If it were Salem screaming, it would have happened after she fixed herself, but it didn't.

And I doubt Cinder would have been surprised or unsettled by it considering she was happy Salem returned not long before it. And why would a Salem scream affect the portals anyway, she has no connection to the staff or it's magic.

Another thing to consider is the fact sound is not transmitted through the portals. Otherwise, they would've heard Oscar and the rest calling for them, or the screams of the citizens of Mantle and Atlas. This lowers the possibility of that scream being from Salem even further.

The sound really seems to be coming from something else entirely within the void, and that something is not at all happy. There’s also the fact that Penny was the only person who died in the void space, everyone else was just thrown out of it like Ruby and Co. The only logical cause to me is Penny. Her body was a product (or byproduct) of the same creation magic that made the void space, her blood seems to have been a trigger.

Now I can't be sure about it, but this makes me feel like Penny is almost a part of creation itself? For whatever this thing is to be so angry, that is the only explanation I can think of currently. But all of this could possibly relate to the Narnia allusion of 'the willing victim killed in a traitor's stead' that others have brought up, which will be covered next.

Narnia Parallels:

Atlas has several parallels and references to fictional places (putting aside real world ones like the United States). One of those is that of Narnia, both on the surface and on a deeper level. It is a land of winter year round, where people struggle to survive and there is a present divide between those loyal to the current Monarch and those who are not. James is a parallel to Jadis, the White Witch, a ruler whose thoughts and cares aren’t exactly centered around the actual well being of the people. The hologram table in Ironwood’s office is designed to look like stone, like the Stone Table which features prominently in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He has a handpicked cadre of special agents/secret police, like how Maugrim and his wolves served Jadis. Another key parallel is how Jadis’s winter sets in to oppress and kill everyone in Narnia, but the Witch provides aid and protection to her loyal followers. She has all the power to spare harm to others, and uses it only for the loyal. As soon as Mantle splits from James and Atlas, no care is taken to protect them from the cold of Solitas even though he has every ability to turn the heating grid back on. His protection is only for the loyal.

Now that the parallel is established, let's look into the details. Starting with how James plays the role of Jadis.

"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules. Ours is a high and lonely destiny." These are the words Jadis says in the Magician’s Nephew to justify the blood civil war she and her sister had waged for rulership of Charn, before she came to Narnia. She won that war, technically, but only after the last battle had been lost and her sister had marched right up to her so that they were face to face. Jadis’s troops were dead, her followers had surrendered, and the capital was under full control of her sister. But, she still had one card, one ultimate play to win and prove the throne of Charn was rightfully her. The Deplorable Word, a piece of old magic that killed everyone and everything except for her on Charn. It was monstrous, senseless, cruel beyond measure. But it got her that hollow victory. This mindset, the disregard for the people except as tools for her own will, the ultimate ‘aoe’ destructive move that no one had even considered her using, the unwillingness to stop even when by all practical measures the war is over, is a shocking parallel to James. In many ways, he is Jadis in mindset and deed.

Then there is the shared desire for A Thing that both James and Jadis have. For James it’s the Winter Maiden and control over her. For Jadis it’s the Silver Apples from the Tree of Youth. And funnily enough, the Maiden Powers parallel the Apples quiet well. These apples grant power and a life of eternal beauty, but should not be taken or eaten on one’s own initiative. They must be given, a gift granted by another, or only suffering will come from obtaining them. "For the fruit always works — it must work — but it does not work happily for any who pluck it at their own will. If any Narnian, unbidden, had stolen an apple and planted it here to protect Narnia, it would have protected Narnia. But it would have done so by making Narnia into another strong and cruel empire like Charn, not the kindly land I mean it to be.” Jadis’s immortality, and some of her power, come from the fact that she ate an Apple of her own will after stealing her way into the garden where the Tree of Youth had been planted. She gained the eternal life she had wanted and the power along with it, but she did so by taking it and was cursed because of it. Her skin turned pale and her lips blackened as if she were a frozen corpse given life. She will be trapped in a life of misery and hate according to Aslan- oh hey Cinder, how’s having stolen the Power you always wanted working out for you? Cinder had the power she wanted, but she only got hungrier, eager to claim more and increase her might. But in her pursuit she was defeated and humiliated by Raven, had to steal her way out of Mistral, and then suffered defeat after defeat while in Atlas. Only in the end, when she didn’t keep pursuing the Maiden Power, did she get any kind of victory.

The reason these parallels to Narnia are so important is one of the most famous events of the series. The cracking of the Stone Table and the rebirth of Aslan after his death. ‘When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.’ Well, the ‘Stone Table’ in James’s office has cracked, and Penny strikes me as a pretty willing victim. She has never actually committed any actual treachery or harm, as she was the Protector of Mantle, and fought for its and Atlas’s people until the very end. And because of her death, the actual traitor, Winter, who loyally served James until he had gone too far, was saved. Through Penny’s self sacrifice, Winter was saved. So now Death itself will start working backward.

(Major props to my friend @catontheweb for writing this section, I was getting nowhere with it, if they weren't there this part wouldn't exist!)

Norse Mythology:

The tree we see in the post credit scene gives off some serious Yggdrasil vibes. Also called the World Tree, it is essentially all of creation in Norse Mythology. It connects all nine realms, including the God realms of Asgard, the human realm of Midgard, and the underworld of Hel.

Humans are born from the branches of Yggdrasil. The web of Wyrd is woven for every person once they're born, and their path is set from there regardless of how many times the souls cycle over. But at the end, they're destined to end up in one of the worlds, for a myriad of reasons.

I believe Penny landed closest to this giant tree. She was on the center platform in the void space, so if that space is directly above the island(?) the tree is on, it makes sense for her to fall by the center nearest to the tree. This would not only open up all kinds of possibilities for the volume in general, but it would also create options for Penny.

The whole of Yggdrasil’s representations fit well into Penny’s story. Birth, growth, death and rebirth. We can count Penny’s appearance in V7 as birth for now, her growth is all her development in leaving =the military and becoming a Maiden, her death just happened, and her rebirth would be her revival. And this is a cycle she’s gone through before.

The Norse god Odin and Yggdrasil have quite a connection. In one story, Odin cut out one of his own eyes to gain knowledge from a pool underneath Yggdrasil. The only one that fell whose eyes alone are incredibly significant to the story was Ruby. So, they could choose to have her allude to Odin by having Ruby make some kind of deal with whatever entity likely rules over this magical place. An eye for Penny’s life.

There’s another story about Odin, Yggdrasil and the pursuit of knowledge. Odin so loved knowledge, that he sacrificed himself in a quest to learn the deeper magic of runes. It was believed one could only learn the magic spells from runes in death. So, Odin hung himself on Yggdrasil for nine days as an offering, and teetered between life and death. After he mastered the last spell on the ninth night, he ritually died and all light was extinguished from the world. Odin’s death lasted until midnight, when he was reborn and light returned to the world.

This story doesn’t fit Penny perfectly, but allusions often don’t. So If she really did land near the tree, she could be another loose representation of Odin’s story here. What she did wasn’t for knowledge, but to save her friends and keep Cinder from getting the Winter Maiden power. She believed it necessary that she sacrifice herself to achieve this end. As we established, Penny represents Hope, so her death means the loss of hope. This parallels Odin’s story of his death meaning the loss of light itself. So if this theory holds up, it would make this death temporary, until her rebirth and the return of Hope with her once again.

Alternatively, Ruby has the potential of loosely representing Odin in this story as well. Odin later uses the knowledge of the runes to do many things, but the most relevant one right now is awakening the dead. Both of these stories are about making a personal sacrifice to gain something that is desired. Ruby would absolutely make such sacrifices if it meant saving Penny.

It is said that Odin lived “according to his highest will unconditionally, accepting whatever hardships arise from that pursuit, and allowing nothing, not even death, to stand between him and the attainment of his goals." This sounds like Penny's arc of accepting the WM powers. This is more just a general connection between Penny and Odin, but I found it interesting.

Side Note: I encourage anyone who’s interested to look into RWBY connections to Norse Myth, there’s a surprising amount of things that feel eerily similar to the show. Likely just coincidental, but it’s fun to think about!

(If I got any of this wrong, I sincerely apologize by the way. I researched as best I could, but I admit it could have been lacking.)

Ambrosius and the Staff:

Ruby told Ambrosius "we kinda wanna keep her around longer than that" as part of her very specific instructions. Then Penny died about ten to fifteen minutes, at the absolute most thirty minutes later in-universe. I don’t know about you, but to me that seems very short to be considered ‘longer than that’. Technically it is, but when writing a story and a character says something like that, you typically don’t just kill the character they were referring to basically right away. It makes sense for a week-by-week watch, but in a volume binge, which many viewers do, it becomes ironic how fast Penny dies after being removed from her robotic body.

The first time we see the staff of creation being used, it's to save Penny. Using the staff of creation to help Penny is a sign of how incredibly important she is.

They’ve even got this entire transformation sequence for her, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to throw all that away two episodes later. In a meta context, it’s a massive waste of time and budget considering the asset creation for Penny.

Penny is a character who has already hopped bodies two times. And now we're supposed to just believe that this time it really is a final death? Just two episodes after we were explicitly told her body isn't what matters, that "Her soul is who she is" and that "the mechanical parts are just extra"? From a writing perspective, it feels strange, like your breaking a promise right after making it. And frankly, CRWBY is better than that, which makes me think this is not the actual end for her.

A possible connection between Penny, Ruby, and the Staff (thus Creation) can be seen in the intro. As Ruby is falling and being dragged down into the darkness, she is shown reaching for the staff. In the void space, Penny is the one with the relic. So with Penny having this strong connection to Creation, and the lyrics “fight for every life” playing as Ruby reaches for the staff, it’s a safe assumption to make, with the knowledge we now have, that the Staff of Creation represents Penny in this particular moment. Which could mean that V9 will be about, at least partially, fighting for Penny’s life.

Musical Hints:

In terms of music, Friend, as a song for Penny, is very dissonant from the episode itself. The song is oddly cheerful for Penny’s recent untimely death, and it overall highlights the wrong parts of death. It’s simply too happy to be a song about losing one of the most, if not the most joyous characters in the entire show. The song also abruptly ends. There’s no outro, and while this could symbolize the fact that Penny died young, it could be that the song itself is unfinished in a story sense.

What do we hear just before the song finishes, though? A progression of notes that sounds eerily similar to the last line of the opening of Volume 8. The notes for “Fight for ev’ry life” and “Who fin’lly felt alive'' share a similar melodic structure, they aren’t perfect clones of each other, but they are incredibly similar, to the point where it seems intentional. Penny may very well be the life that the opening song is fighting for. It is also worth noting that the line “Fight for every life” comes just after “Sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall,” which is the exact wording used for the description in the Volume 8 finale. Team RWBY risked the fall, yet, strangely the opposite of fighting for every life happened with Penny’s sacrifice. Perhaps the time to fight for every life has yet to happen, and we will see it come Volume 9.

For another thing, the lyrics for Friend are entirely centered on Penny’s feelings for Ruby, to the point where they read very much like a bittersweet love song. The music itself is incredibly cheerful, as mentioned previously, creating a mood whiplash with the end of the volume. Why would we hear a song about Penny’s feelings for Ruby, sounding like a love song, if her death is supposed to be a tragic sacrifice akin to Pyrrha’s? The song may very well be giving a clue into its future use in the show proper.

If this was meant to be a good bye song, why make it so cheerful and romantic sounding? There's only one part about her dying and even then, it's just too accepting and goes right back into cheerfulness. The song is also pretty hopeful, telling Penny's story in a fairly chronological order. And the part where she talks about sacrifice is quite pointedly followed up by one about feeling alive. It also ends with the super cheerful chorus, the word "alive" being the last... (Remember the episode title: The Final Word)

(I want to thank my friend @shadow-0f-x for writing the majority of this section! I was struggling to choose how to tackle it as I am not well versed in music theory.)

What We Didn’t See:

It is likely that Penny understood Jaune's semblance better than him and figured something out about it’s abilities in the same way that she understood Ruby's semblance better than her. She had plenty of time to observe his semblance up close as he boosted her aura to stave off the virus. Because of that intentionally timed cutaway in the finale, we don’t get to hear her explain herself after her strained “Trust me.” All of that seems really suspicious to me.

Pyrrha Parallel:

Pyrrha and Penny both sacrificed themselves to stop or stall Cinder. Jaune tried to convince the both of them to stop. With Pyrrha, he failed, while with Penny he actively helped her sacrifice herself. Doesn’t make sense for the guy who was determined not to let anyone else do what Pyrrha did, unless of course Penny assured him she’d be alright.

The Moment:

RT including the suicide hotline in the description shows that they're aware that Penny basically committed assisted suicide, seeing it as a noble sacrifice worth doing to save her friends. They're aware, and I believe they're smart enough to condemn that decision to hell and back.

The best way to do that in my opinion is to pull her back into the land of the living and let her witness first hand the consequences of throwing her life away so freely. This would show Penny how her actions affected others so maybe she could learn to truly value herself. To not think herself expendable. It would be bold and unwise to portray this choice as something good, unless it was going to be called upon later and be pointed out for how horrible it really is.

On top of this, Penny was way too content with her death, happy even. There's no way team RWBY is letting her stay content with it. It’s almost as though we're supposed to join Ruby and Co. in calling bullshit on what Penny is saying and doing because no, Penny, this is not how things are meant to work. It's as if Penny was basically saying "I want to die for my friends" because most of the volume had been about everyone else making sure she didn't die. She knows it will hurt them. She knows.

At the peak of it all, a choice like this will totally destroy Ruby. It may very well be her breaking point for Volume 9. Curiously, the moment itself is written like it’s the first choice Penny’s ever made, yet the entire Volume shows this isn’t the case. However, this is the first choice that Penny’s made solely independently and it’s rather pertinent that the choice she makes is a mistake. Outside of giving Winter the Maiden gift and saving the day temporarily, this sacrifice will not have any lasting positive effects. Jaune will be saddled with the grief of killing Penny. Ruby will have to live with losing her best friend and not being able to protect her a second time, and Winter now has the burden of the Winter Maiden abilities, making her a target of Cinder. This is a bad thing, and Penny needs to see the long term consequences.

Transfer of Power:

As we all know, colors in RWBY are really important and get a lot of focus in the show. That means the yellow we see as Penny gives Winter the Maiden Powers was intentional and likely important, no matter how insignificant it may seem. It’s possible that the transfer effect being yellow could have something to do with Jaune’s semblance. When Fria gave the power to Penny, the effect was very much blue, so this transfer should have been green since she was the one giving it this time. The weirdness of this transfer and the focus on color in RWBY really makes it look like something’s up with how that went down.

A little off topic, but Penny saying "I won't be gone, I'll be part of you." makes me think... Winter is smart, so when she gets time to think about what Penny said, maybe she'll arrive at the same question many in the audience came to; if she's literally part of Winter, can they be separated again? If Winter starts questioning that, the possibility of Penny coming back just skyrockets.

Fria actually tells Penny "I'll be gone" before giving her powers up, which is an interesting contrast to Penny telling Winter "I won't be gone". She may have gotten that line from Winter be all philosophical in V7, saying Fria was now a part of Penny, but it hits differently coming from an actual Maiden. S5o it’s possible that Maidens usually actually will be gone, but Jaune's semblance did something to change that.

This could go well with the theory that they won't need to find an aura transfer machine, or build another one, because Jaune will have a semblance evolution allowing him to do the transfer instead. It might actually be that this evolution already happened and the golden light we saw was Jaune transferring penny's aura to Winter in some way?

An observation that I find interesting is when Penny gives winter the powers, not only is the aura yellow but penny completely glows yellow too, and she obviously starts to disappear, but she doesn’t seem to fully disappear, she just glows.

It's possibly a fading out effect and she does fully fade but animation makes bright light easier, and so we don't actually see her disappear because she's dead and not gone. But it does once again emphasize the color yellow here!

And the color is coming from Penny, it does go up Winter's arm a bit, but Penny is clearly the source. This transfer is so weird and I’m not really sure how to interpret it. There's just actually no reason that we are aware of to make the effect yellow here is the thing. Unless it has something to do with either Jaune or Ambrosius, or potentially a combination of both...

Jaune’s Aura:

The way we see Jaune's aura break in the finale is strange. His aura shouldn't be breaking here. It had been long enough since he was boosting Penny, he's had time to recharge, and it didn't look like it was a strain on him at all. Plus, we know he has a lot of aura, so there probably wasn't too much to recharge in the first place.

He has a massive amount of aura, it has never broken before as far as I remember. Even if it has though, that doesn’t make this occurrence any less odd. It should absolutely never be a one-hit KO. We didn't see anything that would've drained it, that should not have been enough to break his aura. Unless he did something - something that would require a huge amount of aura - that we just didn't see. That amount of aura drain is far more than just an attempt at healing would do, Jaune absolutely did something with his semblance that took up almost all of his aura.

Pinocchio Allusion:

As any Penny fan knows, her character allusion is Pinocchio, the puppet who became a real boy. Penny deviates from the allusion by having always been a real girl, as Ruby is quick to point out, but she shares many story beats with her original story including multiple deaths. In the original story, Pinocchio dies from being hung by his own strings due to his poor decision making and he dies. Sounds a little familiar, does it not? This is where his tale originally ended. Readers were unsatisfied with this ending however, so the author decided to change the story by reviving Pinocchio and teaching him to be more careful.

Unlike Pinocchio making all the wrong decisions, Penny often makes the right ones, or ones she thinks is right, when concerning others. While usually a good thing, this has meant Penny almost giving herself up multiple times during V8, her last attempt being successful. This is where Penny and Pinocchio begin to share similarities again. They are both very reckless when it concerns themselves. This carelessness comes from different places, but it ends with the same result of them endangering their lives and even sometimes losing them.

In the Disney movie, Pinocchio dies by drowning after going to rescue Geppetto and washes up on the shore (like the beach in V8’s post credit scene). His father is devastated and takes him home to grieve, but as a reward for his selflessness in rescuing his father, the Blue Fairy returns and brings him back to life, as well as granting him humanity. Penny sacrificed her life as well, and it stands to reason that she should be rewarded for it, much like her allusion was.

Penny got her maiden powers from someone with blue aura and then gave her powers to someone with blue aura. So it could be that not only Ambrosius, but Fria and Winter as well represent the Blue Fairy. It could be set up for Winter helping to bring Penny back to life once more. It’s an out there theory I admit, but it’s not outright impossible either. The Blue Fairy in Pinocchio saved him three times that I know of, so RWBY having three representations does make sense.

Geppetto wished for him to live as a real boy, but it depended on what path Pinocchio took. This is very reminiscent of Penny and Pietro. Pietro wants to see her live her life, and surely with him absent in V8C14 that didn't work, despite Penny choosing. Her father did not see her happy enough to live her life, and will only be able to learn her death through others. But Pinocchio's themes were life and being alive. So the likelihood that this is not her end yet is quite high!

A Girl That Fell Through the World:

Penny could be the girl who fell through the world. The girl in the story fled the consequences of a choice. The only person who chose her ultimate fate was Penny. The others were pushed into the void, but she chose to die. The consequence of her choice is Ruby’s grief first and foremost, which Penny won’t see. The girl who fell through the world does come back though, and the world will be changed severely with Penny’s absence. Alternatively, it could also be Penny coming back to Wonderland or wherever they currently are, as long as it’s unrecognizable to her.

What Returning Brings:

Others might say another return would have no story relevant purpose, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Penny gives a profoundly youthful, joyous, and wondrous outlook on the world and story that we hadn't seen since Ruby in Volumes 1-3(not the end), Penny returning would bring a much needed levity back in after the despair they will undoubtedly be going through. While not necessarily a huge thing in most other shows, for RWBY, a show largely about keeping up hope, an ounce of such relief is a necessity.

As much as I hate saying it, Penny’s death does actually make some narrative sense because she had to pass on the Maiden powers. (They could have done this in a number of ways, and I personally think they chose rather poorly, but I digress.) Throughout this whole volume, we can see Penny seemingly being set up to join the main cast, but would have been too strong with the powers. This also accomplishes ridding her of the burden of responsibility that comes with being a Maiden and lets her obtain the freedom that’s so important to her character.

Once she returns, seeing this grief that her actions caused, particularly to Ruby, will get her to realize more that her actions can have serious repercussions. She made a choice, but that choice hurt the people she loves. She must have known that it would but I’m not sure she ever realized just how much.

I didn’t want this post to be heavy in the shipping department, so I largely left it out, but I am going to say this one thing that could have an impact. If Nuts & Dolts is on its way to being canon, which this volume makes it feel highly likely, this could be a catalyst.

It could prompt an arc for the both of them in which Penny learns to live her life fighting for her loved ones, rather than sacrificing it for them. A relationship could potentially start from there. And Ruby seeing Penny learn these things may also help her to stop doing the occasional but very dangerous and reckless things she does. Ruby witnessing Penny coming to terms with what she did to the people that care about her would actually make her stop to think “wait, is this how everyone else would feel if I got myself killed?” That would be a very important moment of character growth for her.

I’m certain there are other significant things that Penny returning can bring to the show. And there are definitely more sections I could add to this. At this point though, assuming anyone even made it this far, I think I’ve been going long enough already. So let’s just roll into the outro!

As painful and hopeless as it seems, I'm choosing to trust them with this because there is absolutely no way they didn't see backlash coming. The way this finale went makes me think that they calculated for backlash and aren’t jumping into something they don’t have a plan to recover from. Whether this trust is unfounded or not remains to be seen, but I don’t think it is currently. I do think, however, that the cause of this backlash was a major misstep. Now that it has happened though, they have a chance to do something good with it.

I know for a lot of you, trust in CRWBY has been damaged, some even irreparably so. And for those that feel this way, I don’t blame you. My trust in them took a hit too, but isn’t broken completely yet. There are many ways that they can bring her back that would make sense with the narrative, they have the ability to make it right, and after going over all of the hints and general weirdness of things many times, I think they will.

I'm feeling pretty confident now and I really didn't expect that to happen at all to be honest. But discussing and theorizing with the discord server seriously helped get my hopes back up surprisingly fast! It’s actually thanks to all of them that this gigantic post even happened! So thanks a ton my fellow Dolts! And a special thanks to!!

@arcana-amicus

@catontheweb

@cosmokyrin

@gaydontmesswithme224

@jammatown919

@shadow-0f-x

They really helped get this thing across the finish line!

And thank YOU for reading all~ of this! I sincerely wish it gave you some of the hope and confidence that I now have!

#RWBY #rwby vol8 #rwby v8 #rwby spoilers #Penny Polendina #nuts and dolts #mechanical rose #a little #Essay #more like dissertation #I haven't written this much in #probably ever actually #Have HOPE people!

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embyrinitalics · 4 years

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Whumptober 2020 No. 31 — Experiment

Masterlist Word count: ~1330 Universe: Breath of the Wild; sequel to “No. 30 — Wound Reveal” Pairings: Zelink Rating: K Themes: Fate, blindness, amnesia Read on ao3

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Zelda’s powers came to her softly on a warm autumn day.

Link didn’t even notice when it happened. She was always warm and bright. It didn’t strike him as odd in the slightest that she felt a little warmer, a little brighter. And of course the sword didn’t react. It had been expecting it from the first.

She had been nestled in his arms, reclining with him against the lonely tree that overlooked Lake Hylia, and he had been terribly close to drifting off, his face turned into her hair and drawing deeper and deeper into peace with every breath. When she wriggled her hand out from between them and then sat up with a gasp, all he could think at first was that she was disturbing an incredibly nice catnap.

But then she’d thrown her arms around his neck and burst into tears. He’d held her, soothed her, until she finally managed to tell him why. The sword thrummed something soft and contented where he had left it beside his shield, a gentle warmth in the undercurrent. It felt like coming home.

“I was thinking of you,” she wept, half overcome, half giddy. “I was thinking of you, and nothing else.”

Gods, but he wished he could have seen her.

What a sight the pair of them must have been. A blind swordsman and a princess that glowed like the sun. The people said they were like something out of legend.

They couldn’t have known how wrong they were.

They couldn’t have known that fate was woven with cruel and clever threads. That the same love that dredged up her powers would move her to choose him over victory when the gods forced her to make a choice. That the Calamity would slip through her fingers while he lay bleeding out in her arms.

He begged her to leave him. He begged her to let him go. But she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Maybe, if he hadn’t been blind, things would have been different.

Maybe, if she had hated him instead of loving him…

Maybe then…

…

Link…

Wake up, Link…

Something warm stirs in his chest, like light, or a memory. He opens his eyes, and it’s dark.

He shivers. His body is cold and wet. He glides his hands along the slick walls rising up on either side of him. He’s in something shallow—a vat? a tub?—but the water has drained, leaving him dripping and his fingertips insensitive. They crest the top and he grips the grainy edge, pulling himself upright, and scans the room. But there’s nothing. Just darkness, deeper and deeper darkness, no matter where he looks.

“Hello?” he calls, and his voice is rough and hoarse with disuse. He doesn’t even recognize it as his own. But someone had called to him. A voice. He tries again, louder. “Is someone there?”

There’s no answer. He reaches beyond the rim, getting to his knees, stretching until his fingers brush the floor. There’s something there. Something slightly warm. Something slightly bright. Which feels an odd impression, given that he can’t see a thing. But that’s the only way he can think to describe it.

He climbs out of the vat, holding tight to the rim as he turns and lowers his feet to the ground, just in case he’s misjudged the distance, or the depth. Just in the case the floor is actually a ledge and he’s about to be suspended on nothing. His foot touches the ground, and he goes down to his knee, pressing his face against the tub and swallowing.

His fingers brush that slightly warm, slightly bright thing again. Long, angular, raised in places with something cool and smooth, like metal or glass. His fingers travel down to one tapered end, and then move to the other and feather against a wide, winged hilt. It hums gently, and he shudders. So gently, it seems almost deliberately so.

That is the Master Sword, says the voice from before, and his head snaps up, trying to pinpoint the source. Take it. It will help guide you after your long slumber.

The voice comes from everywhere and nowhere. It’s in his chest, in his heart, in his mind. It’s the only thing in him, he realizes, and it feels like it’s tearing him apart. Like his body knows it’s just a piece of a larger whole, and is ready to rip itself to shreds looking for the rest. He wants to shout, demand, beg. But he just grips the scabbard instead, holding it close to his chest like it’s all he has. Because it is.

The hum from the sword swells, just a little, running past his fingertips to his wrists, up his arms, through his chest. It’s slow and gradual as a trickle of water. But soon it’s in all of him, coursing through his body like lifeblood. He slips the scabbard blindly over his back, fumbling with the buckle in front. If it wasn’t so dark—

He finally finds a notch with the pad of his thumb and weaves the prong through it. He’s trembling, and while he’s sure it’s only partly from the chill, it’s easier to blame the draft than admit to the terror writhing in his chest. He turns slowly, taking one unsteady step, and then another, moving towards the slight breeze, hoping to find an exit. Hoping to find the voice.

He touches a wall, or a mouth, or a doorway, but it’s still pitch black. He keeps going until he reaches a landing, sitting at the top of the stairway and sliding his way down, one step at a time, because there’s no telling how far he’ll fall if he stumbles.

When the ground levels he walks until he reaches a wall, and then walls on either side of him. A dead end. The hum ebbing out of the sword got inexplicably stronger before he touched it, like a sensor, or a warning. He reaches again, feeling for a rim, reasoning that stairs are built, and wouldn’t have intentionally led nowhere; when he stands on the tips of his toes he feels the ledge, and heaves himself up.

There are more stairs, and the air is getting warmer as he climbs, and he holds out hope that he might be nearing the end of that place. That there’s a way out of the darkness.

At the top, he smells grass, and feels a warm breeze, and the unmistakable, perfect heat of the sun beating down on his face. And he trembles again, his stomach dropping, and goes to his knees, breathless. Because it wasn’t the chamber he struggled through that was lightless. It was him.

He’s blind.

He buries his face in his hands as something choked claws its way out of his throat. The sword on his back hums again, vibrates a soft reassurance.

“Master…”

He blinks uselessly, just listens. It isn’t the first voice, isn’t the one that’s still gnawing at his body and his mind like something buried, something feral and trapped trying to claw its way out. It’s a lilt, almost a song. It’s almost what the hum thrumming through his body would have sounded like if it could be heard.

“Have courage, Master. You must have courage.”

He doesn’t know why that sounds so familiar.

He knows the sword is right. He feels stricken, too petrified at his condition and his prospects even to move. But he has to move. He needs food, water, shelter. Answers, most of all. He needs a name, and a direction, and a scrap of hope. But he barely knows how to begin.

What he wouldn’t have given for a drop of light in that endless darkness.

But then the voice answers him, insists he is all the light he needs, and he’s powerless to deny her.

You are the light—our light—that must shine upon Hyrule once again.

Now go.

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tarhalindur · 3 years

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Rebellion’s Biggest Outstanding Question

(Big fat PMMM+Rebellion spoilers under the cut, natch:)

Homura, at the end of Rebellion, believes that she is rebelling against Madoka’s will. But is she actually doing so? Or is she acting in accordance with it?

Let me explain.

I’ll start with the point I’m sold on either way (and have commented on at least twice before, including my explanation of Madoka’s other big mistake): Rebellion is directly downstream of Madoka making a single mistake immediately after her ascension in episode 12, a moment when she could not afford to make any mistake at all. Much like Madoka’s other big mistake in episode 10, this one is not obvious on the surface and only becomes clear when looking at the events through a symbolic lens.

Specifically, a Buddhist symbolic lens.

I’ll leave the full explanation there to this post, which lays out the Buddhist influence on base PMMM’s themes and imagery and on Madokami’s ascension better than I could. (Although its author is missing a few points. First, the shot of Madoka expanding to galaxy size is DIRECTLY out of ego death symbolism. Which makes sense, because there’s enough accounts to suggest that regardless of whether or not it has any deeper meaning beyond brain chemistry the people who’ve had it are describing a single class of subjective experience, and “one’s consciousness expanding to the size of the galaxy” seems to be a common feature of it - I’ve read at least one account of that kind of experience from, of all people, a random Protestant minister who claims to have had such an experience on a vision trip to the Amazon and only later realized that there was precedent for that kind of experience in Buddhist traditions, and he mentions that exact expansion as part of what he went through. Second, the flower on Madoka’s bow is a rose, not a willow... which makes sense, because “Guanyin/Kannon and the Virgin Mary are two aspects of the same goddess” has been a theory in certain parts for at least a century, and the rose has a traditional association with the latter goddess - there’s a reason they call it the rosary, after all. (I’ve seen speculation out of a few polytheist/less orthodox Christian circles I keep tabs on that Pistis Sophia is yet another aspect of the same goddess, too...) Third, note all the mandala symbolism floating around - most obviously Walpurgisnacht’s appearance and Kyubey’s exposition in episode 11.)

And that influence is important here, because part of the process of the escape from samsara is the breaking of all karmic ties to the world.

Except... Madoka does not do this. She leaves one karmic tie behind.

This one, to be precise:

Now, in theory it’s possible that the tainted miracle of Homura remembering Madoka has another root. But I have my doubts, and the biggest piece of evidence there is the OST: the track that plays when Homura meets Junko in the finale and offers to give up the ribbons is named Taenia Memoriae, aka “the ribbon of memories”. HMM,

(That Junko scene is in this regards the single most enigmatic scene of the main series finale to me. My instinct is that it’s drawing off of Christian mythos again, either canonical or Gnostic, but I can’t quite place what piece; I kind of want to compare it specifically to the Denial of Peter.)

Now, there’s two other pieces here that are worth noting.

1) While Homulilly is described as the Nutcracker Witch in Rebellion, Homulilly’s name and Witch card are first revealed in the PSP game, and there she goes by a rather different epithet: Witch of the Mortal World, nature is karma. Which is rather on the nose (the Mortal World [shigan] being another term for samsara), but then that’s probably by design - main series PMMM is not subtle at all when it wants to make a point. And it is this epithet, not the Nutcracker Witch, that the Doppel versions of Homulilly in MagiReco draw off of, which suggests the staff considered it important. (There’s a second distinction in the latter, because Moemura’s version of the Doppel implies that Homulilly’s nature was originally slightly different again - Witch of the Mortal World, nature is closed circuits - but I think for our purposes here this is a difference without true distinction, much like the Witch of the Near Shore pun for swimsuit!Moemura’s version of Homulilly.) And there’s echoes of this even in Rebellion: the Clara Dolls are of course referred to as the Children of the Mortal World, plus of course the obvious “Homulilly’s Rebellion barrier as the Mortal World” take. (Which, hmm. Hello second-order symbolism - Homura failing to “break out of the egg” as failure to escape the cycle of samsara.)

2) The red ribbons of course suggest a very specific form of karmic tie - the Red String of Fate. And you can be very, very sure that the staff intended that, too. To drag a certain piece of key animation back out from storage:

While it’s hard to tell at this size, it sure looks to my eyes like the two ends are specifically tied around the girls’ pinkies. You know, exactly where the proverbial Red String is said to be tied.

Or, to put it another way: AI YO.

Everything in Rebellion is downstream of this.

But all this is prologue. Now that we have established the mistake, we can address the actual outstanding question: Did Madoka intend to make that mistake? People have noted the applicability of Junko’s comments about intentionally making a big mistake when backed into a corner to Homura’s actions in Rebellion; do they also apply to the action Madoka took that led to that?

I am not sure. Both cases are consistent, and I’d put about even odds either way. But it’s the affirmative case I want to lay out here, to show that it does in fact exist:

- Let’s start with the one point someone else might bring up that I don’t really weight: Madoka’s final conversation with Homura in the flower bed. This one, I think, can mostly be discarded. We have word from both Kyubey and Sayaka that Madoka does not have her memories here; I can’t see both of them lying here. (Also remember that Kyubey seems to have restriction that is sometimes said to apply to demons, at least under certain circumstances: he cannot directly tell a lie. This is of course a very different thing from having to tell the truth, as episode 9 alone is enough to attest, but in this specific case it’s a boost to his credibility.) If there’s an actual argument here, it’s a second-order one; it is possible, especially given her divine abilities, that Madokami was running a Xanatos Gambit and counting on her amnesiac projection to unwittingly relay her true feelings. (In which case I would have to grab a certain infamous line from another well-known anime: “Just as planned”.)

- That one shot of Madokami’s gloved, scarred arm reaching down through the window to touch Homura. Operative word scarred. (And honestly, looking at one of the subs for that scene again Madoka’s comments there look potentially consistent with her actually supporting of or at least accepting Homura becoming a demon...)

- Mata Ashita, specifically the lyrics thereof. With the perspective of the full series, Madoka’s character song is fairly clearly from the perspective of Madokami, and it’s suggestive that she is not entirely happy with the results of her wish and ascension.

- The fact that Rebellion happened at all. There’s a complaint that I’ve seen regarding the mechanics of the Incubators’ plot in Rebellion: logically, by the wording of Madoka’s final wish the Incubators’ plan to use the Isolation Field to block the Law of Cycles should not work, since part of Madoka’s wish was to rewrite any rule or law that would prevent her from destroying Witches with her own hands, including the one the Incubators set up with their Isolation Field - doubly so if you take Madokami’s statement can see every world that ever existed or could ever exist and apply it to the Sealed Reality the experiment generates. Except... there is one way that argument fails, regardless of anything else: namely, if Madoka saw what the Incubators were doing and intentionally allowed their experiment to proceed. And at this point there is precedent for her doing something very similar; AIUI in her Magical Girl Story in MagiReco Madokami does something very similar wrt the MagiReco timeline, deliberately declining to destroy it despite its continued existence conflicting with the Law of Cycles.

(- Magia. This point of argument I’m not convinced of either, but let’s lay it out. (Honestly, even if I’m right I’m not sure how much of this was consciously intended, but creations can have a life of their own - especially creations where fucking natural disasters delay them so that they’re released on the most appropriate day possible!) There’s two pieces to this, one I’m more sure of than the other:

1) The visuals. Here’s the spot where I feel most solid about interpreting Magia: the ED visuals are clearly a reference to Madokami’s ascension. (The show loves hiding that sort of foreshadowing in plain sight, why would you be surprised?) Note the second half particularly, both Madoka’s hair lengthening and the starfield she’s running past. (I think the order of the four other girls in the first half is probably how long they held out without Witching out.) That leaves two issues, one more obvious to Western audiences and one less so. First, that enigmatic and ominous shot of Madoka in fetal position (appropriate - her request in 10 and then her wish in 12 can be rephrased as “don’t let me grow up”) in the eye of Mephisto. Second, there’s a point I’ve seen raised in analyses of Connect: in Japanese cinematography, motion from right to left indicates a correct course (unlike its Western equivalent, where the opposite applies)... and for the entirety of Magia Madoka is moving left-to-right.

2) The lyrics. This is the part I’m less sold on, but once again let’s lay out the affirmative. My line here derives from a hunch: Connect is famously from Homura’s perspective despite appearing to be from Madoka’s, perhaps the inverse is also true? I’m still not sure there, but especially if you’re considering the TV version it can work... provided the lyrics are specifically from Madokami’s perspective again. Grabbing the wiki version of the translation: “The light of love lit within your eyes will transcend time” sure fits better if we’re talking about Homura rather than about Madoka, likewise “with this power that can break even darkness” sure sounds like a better fit for Madokami to me. And in that case the most interesting stanza is the second: “Swallow down your hesitation. What is it that you wish for? With the direction of this greedy admiration, will there be a short-lived tomorrow?” The former two lines are quite consistent with Homura’s decision in Rebellion (and I note the visual of Homura biting down on her Soul Gem to break it!), and “tomorrow” is consistently a reference to the possibility of Homura and Madoka meeting again in other PMMM songs (Mata Ashita again, Colorful, Connect full version) - which is realized courtesy of a greedy admiration, no less. So. Magia’s full version might count, too - there’s lines there that are harder to square from a Madokami perspective (”if I can move forward without hesitation then it’s fine if my heart gets broken” especially), but “Someday, for the sake of someone else, you too will wish for great power; on the night love captures your heart, unknown words will be born” fits Homura’s fall better than Madoka’s wish, I think.)

- If Madoka’s mistake in 12 is intentional then it more closely mirrors her (unintentional) mistake in 10: she’s implicitly asking Homura to once again do something she can’t and stop her from/alleviate the effects of her making a mistake.

- At a Doylist level, if they go for a proper happy end (either in Walpurgis no Kaiten or in a hypothetical sequel to the same) I’m not sure there’s any way they can get there without using this interpretation. (In general, the two outcomes that make the most sense to me are “Akuhomu becomes the core of Walpurgisnacht, cue ending scene with Moemura making her wish” (the Logic Error ending, consistent with the Eternal Return of the Self; cue MagiReco as the way out) or an ending based on the answer to this question being yes - the easy version being a movie of everyone except Homura fighting to let Madoka rejoin the Law of Cycles only for her to surprise everyone with some sort of ending based on “actually, I was counting on her to do this from the start”.)

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kaciread04 · 3 years

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The stories we tell

Neo became more anxious as their eyes scanned the library shelves over and over again but with no success. Even after 15 minutes their eyes had not made contact with the one book they needed. This must be the universe’s punishment for leaving homework till the last minute, Neo knew better but it had simply slipped their mind. As time ticked on they began to question how important the history of the Tower of London really was to their studies. But then they remembered they chose to specialise in London history so it was fairly integral to their ultimate success. This realisation resulted in Neo questioning even more of their life choices that lead to this moment. Who even chooses to specialise in London history? Idiots, that’s who. At least that’s the conclusion Neo came to after a few seconds of deliberation.

Time ticked by more and more, the opportunity to create a standout piece of work had passed 10 minutes prior. Neo had accepted they would either need to wait for their desired book to be returned, settle for a second best book or search the information up online and hope it’s all correct. At least in the meantime they could enjoy the pleasures of the university library. Neo exclusively reads romance books or fantasy with heavy romance themes but today they decided to branch out. Nothing else had gone right in their day so why not try something new? Even if they don’t enjoy it, it’ll only be in keeping with the theme. In an effort to expand their literature experiences beyond enemies to lovers tropes and sword wielding lesbians Neo’s feet lead them to the non-fiction section in the hopes of finding a book about an interesting gay astronomer or crazy criminal politician. The more they thought about the second option the more they realised how many options there were.

Browsing the shelves only served to fuel Neo’s boredom and overall hopeless attitude of the day. That was until their eyes came in contact with a dark green, cloth bound book decorated by only a name. Their name. As the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, though in this case it killed Neo. Their hand slowly reached for the lonesome book as questions swirled around their head. Had they unknowingly named themselves after a celebrity? The book felt heavy in their hand, an estimated 800 pages at least. Eh, reading it would kill some time till their desired book is, hopefully, returned and they could start their project.

‘September 3rd 1999, rain poured outside the hospital window as the screaming baby worked their way through the world. Well, their mother worked to bring them into the world.’

Strange. That was Neo’s birthday. What were the chances that this unknown celebrity had their name and birthday? The thought that this was a book based on their life was briefly considered but then immediately rejected as Neo had never done anything of importance to write about. Neo was no celebrity or crazy smart scientist. They were just themself, their boring, history obsessed, queer self. Nothing worth writing about so what was this book? A prank their friends pulled in the hopes they would find it? An insane coincidence that a celebrity had the same name and birthday as they did? A fever dream that they would soon wake up from and be dazed for a few seconds but ultimately move on from and accept as reality? After the day Neo had had all options were just as likely to be the truth. In the hopes of narrowing down the possibilities Neo decided to continue.

The book remained fairly boring through the next few pages as it just described the generic life of a baby. Nothing stood out as it being a book about Neo, though nothing that ruled out the possibility. There was a temptation to put the book down and forget about it but something stopped them. Something Neo couldn’t quite describe. A draw, an intrigue, a compelling force that kept the book in Neo’s hands.

‘At six years old Neo Sharma loved to play with neighbourhood children in their garden, they were the only one of the children with both a trampoline and a slide. The other children had great fun and their parents were thankful for the hours of peace and quiet. Though, one day they decided to try something new and played a ball game on the usually empty road in front of Neo’s house. While playing, unknown to Neo, a car sped around the corner. Neo was hit and while it wasn’t too bad it was enough for their parents to worry incessantly, while running out the house to check on them, while they were inside looking Neo over, while in the car on the way to the hospital and while Neo was having a cast put on their leg. This led to the worst 6 weeks of Neo’s life. No playing, no friends, no PE and, in the private mind of the six year old, no fun. Just inside with books and their parents worry.’

That was strange. Neo had been hit by a car at 6, and they had broken their leg. This passage only served as evidence that this book was not written about a celebrity. This was a book about Neo, the Neo that didn’t have an interesting bone in their body, the Neo that seriously needed to put the book down and start on their homework, the Neo that was now extremely confused and concerned that they had just found a book in a public library that dictated their life. What did they do now? Put the book back and hopefully forget about it? Ignore the homework and read the book? Try and find clues as to who wrote it? Call their friends and tell them their prank wasn’t very funny? No option was particularly fun.

After moments of deliberation Neo decided to forgo any responsibility to university work and settle down in a more comfy chair and continue to read the book. What more damage could it do? The chance of making a with while homework piece had long since passed so they may as well make good use of their time.

‘By eleven years old Neo’s seemingly perfect life had begun to fall apart. Just two weeks prior to their twelfth birthday their parents had made an announcement. To some more naive children it would've been amazing, what child wouldn’t want two Christmases? But to Neo, they knew it wouldn't be just that. They knew of the arguments, the accusations, the pain it was causing everyone involved. They knew their life would be nowhere near as easy as it had been the past 12 years.’

An unsettling feeling crept up Neo’s spine, like the feeling you get in when you’re in a dark room. The feeling of looking into the dark abyss and feeling alone, yet not quite. The feeling that, while you couldn’t see it, that there was something staring back at you. Something that you rationally knew wasn’t there but couldn’t shake the feeling of its presence. A feeling that this book was no prank pulled by friends with a bad sense of humour. Neo still wasn’t sure what this book was but they knew it wasn’t good.

Homework forgotten Neo stood and began to walk to the library’s main desk. Janette was working today, she was Neo’s favourite librarian. Her red rimmed, sharp glasses contrasted her pale white skin yet matched her red short cardigan that covered her simplistic floral blouse. Some would say was a stereotypical librarian but that’s what Neo loved about her. She was completely unapologetically herself, Neo had taken a few pointers from her on that front.

“Hey Jan, could I check this book out please?” Neo hoped Janette wouldn’t ask about the shaking voice and hands as they placed the heavy book on the desk.

“‘Course lovely. Got any big plans for the day?” Her kind smile brought a little comfort to Neo’s anxiety, not much but at this point anything was better than nothing.

“Not much, just sitting and reading.” The attempt at a casual answer came out more awkward than intended, hopefully Janette wouldn’t notice.

“Well then, have fun doing nothing then.” She gave me one final smile before scanning the book and handing it back to me.

“Thanks, have a good one.” With one final wave Neo walked out of the library doors head swarming with even more questions.

How come the scan worked? Where did this book come from? Had the library ordered a book about Neo? Did someone take a barcode out of another book and place it in this one? Is this all one big joke?

Neo almost immediately dismissed that final one. They had no evidence but their gut instinct was enough, there was something off about this book and they vowed to find out why.

#Original Work #original content #original writing #original post #original fiction #writing #creative writing #writing practice #writing prompt #writing stem #non-binary main character #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt pride #lgbtqia #fantasy #mystery #chapter 1

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gffa · 5 years

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(TROS SPOILERS) One thing that I really enjoyed a lot about TROS is Rey’s relationship with the Force and herself. That it was complicated and difficult, but she never wavered on wanting to be kind, compassionate, and a Jedi. Rey’s struggle has been about finding her path in the galaxy, her struggle in this movie wasn’t about what she wanted, she’s always kind of known that, but how to find it. And it was mirrored in how she can do all this physical Force stuff–she can meditate while floating there (THE MOST JEDI THING EVER, I LOVE IT EVERY TIME A JEDI DOES THAT), she can run a training course, she can do amazing fights, she can nearly rip a transport ship out of the sky, she can Force heal, etc.–but she can’t reach the voices of the dead Jedi. She’s struggling with her anger so much that she tips over into using Force lightning, that it shows that’s part of why she’s so strong, because she’s taking all these emotional short cuts she doesn’t even realize she’s doing. She’s taking that anger and fear, instead of confronting it, and shoving it into trying to do more and more amazing physical stuff. Yet she can’t reach the voices of the dead Jedi. She can’t confront her fears to let them go. That she excels at the physical and struggles with the spiritual is everything I wanted from Rey’s story in this movie! Especially wrapped up in how she wants to find the light, how she wants to be a Jedi, but she’s so scared of herself. That it’s wrapped up in the heart of one of the most important things about what the Jedi have always been–”Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi.” From the Jedi Order teaching younglings that the dark side is part of them and to be overcome in the crache to the younglings on Ilum to their everyday lives to Ezra in the Jedi Temple on Lothal to Luke in the cave on Dagobah to Rey’s entire journey, that’s always been the important step to the next part of their path. I love it because the spiritual is so important to what being a Jedi is, that she has to be able to not just admit to her fears, but be willing to face them, then she can finally hear the voices of the Jedi who have been trying to reach out to her just as she was trying to hear them. I love it because Rey does struggle with this stuff. I love it because it shows becoming a Jedi is not that easy. And I love it because it feeds into Rey’s complicated relationships with Force-users, that she’s scared no one knows who she really is, that even she herself doesn’t really know who she is, she’s desperate for connection, for someone to understand her, and there are so few people who have this same power within them, this same massive and unfathomable thing calling to her, this entire sense in her brain that no one else understands, except for Leia a little bit and Ben probably most of all, that it feeds into this complicated relationship with him and it feels my love of complicated psychic relationships where the lines of it are difficult to draw. I really liked the balance the film struck with how you can see her relationship with Ben as romantic, that’s undeniably there, but you can also legitimately see it as Rey giving him affection, knowing that he was going to die, her way of saying goodbye, or you can see it as her desire for psychic closeness being confused for romance, you can interpret it however you want. Maybe she loved him back, maybe it was more complicated than that, maybe it feeds into my love of those messy, impossible to detangle psychic relationships that I love so much with Anakin and his psychic feelings towards things, too. I love that it’s in a movie where Rey has to deal with this riot of feelings in her and she’s trying but she doesn’t really have a community of support, other than that she trusts Finn and tells him about it, but he can’t be with her on this in the same way another trained Force-user could. His support means the galaxy, but through Rey we see that a Jedi needs to have themselves or their emotions under control, because you can be an amazing person, you can be a kind and deeply caring person, and still in your anger and desperation to save someone you can RIP A SHIP APART BECAUSE YOU GOT SO ANGRY THAT YOU SHOT LIGHTNING FROM YOUR HANDS. This in the same week as seeing Baby Yoda Force-choke a person because either he thought he was playing or because he got REAL MAD that someone was trying to hurt his dad, it shows that you can be this incredibly kind, compassionate person, but if you don’t have your shit on lockdown, you can really hurt people and yourself. And given the similar Force-healing scenes, it’s not in doubt for me that the themes of “good person not having the training to resist the dark side so easily” is also a deliberate parallel. It’s Ezra with the fyrnocks all over again. The consistency of showing that, without the Jedi Order there to help train people, you see why the Jedi did everything they did and that they were the ones who did have their shit under control--well, with that one important exception who George Lucas was always clear about how he didn’t want to accept Jedi philosophy. I love that we see it playing out through Rey, that she has all these normal feelings of anger and frustration and desperation, that that’s her story. The Rise of Skywalker is unquestionably REY’S STORY more than it is anything else, that all the other characters are largely there to support her journey, and that that journey is one of finally being ready to confront the dark parts of herself. And that is when she connects with the Jedi of the past. That is when she becomes a Jedi in a way no one can deny. I love that her taking the step forward spiritually, confronting her fear and letting it go, that is when she hears the voices of the Jedi Order, like, yes, that is what she was missing to bridge that gap with them, that is the entire theme that she needed to complete, showing that it was their theme, too, that they are explicitly narratively connected to her facing her fears and moving beyond them, and UGH I LOVE THE JEDI AND I LOVE REY AND SHE IS THEIR LEGACY AND THEIR FUTURE AND SHE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.

#rey #jedi order #jedi #the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker spoilers #meta

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mego42 · 4 years

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207 Discussion Q’s

shout out and thank you to @pynkhues for putting these together even though she wasn’t gonna be here this week

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

obvs the dubby but underrated fav is Ruby and Jane in the closet, idk exactly why but I am starved for the families interacting with each other content (screw the timeline, the most unrealistic aspect of this show is that they aren’t constantly in and out of each other’s houses with ben and sara continually being called on to babysit) so this little snippet makes me levitate

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

the annie and noah scenes for sure. I mostly feel betrayed bc I really liked them the first time I watched (i have a lot of built in affection for sam huntington let me live) and now I’m like BEGONE FOUL BETRAYER and feel pre-emptive fatigue over annie’s taste in men and how that’s not going to get better any time soon

3. I know time does not exist in the Good Girls universe (or in reality anymore), but let’s start with a timeline question! The implication of the opening montage is that a bit of time has past since Beth strongarmed the partnership with Rio at the end of 2.06. How long do you think it’s been? And more importantly, what do you think these early days of their partnership looked like?

I tend to lean towards at least 2 months, maybe more based on:

the number of shoeboxes and how many times Beth’s shown making a closet deposit

how lived in their annoyance over Beth’s dividing her time and Rio pushing back feels

the implication (at least how i read it) that Rio’s annoyance stems from having to track Beth down which presumably implies they’d grumbled their way into a semi-functional working relationship prior (supported by their ease with each other in 208) and if the montage has only been a month, that would be a maximum of 4 meetings and I don’t particularly think that’s enough time for them to get over being extremely prickly with each other

the fact that Beth goes to Rio for help when Jane’s missing (again, to me implies a longer period of time to get over some of their antagonism than a max of 4 meets)

I imagine their initial partnership went something like Beth being a smug brat about forcing her way in, Rio being deliberately unhelpful and trying to force her to admit she’s in over her head (while still keeping enough of an eye on things that his money isn’t jeopardized), Beth stubbornly refusing to and finding ways to rise to the occasion, Rio being grudgingly impressed, Beth being annoyed with herself for how pleased she is over that. Lather, rinse, repeat until they’ve worn a cantankerous but bizarrely comfortable groove into each other.

meanwhile, Mick, Annie and Ruby are absolutely disgusted by everything happening in front of their eyes.

4. The first scene between Ruby and Turner in this episode is a really dynamic one! It’s pretty clear that Ruby’s afraid of Turner, but what do you think Turner thinks of Ruby?

I think he sees a big cartoon canister labeled "Beth Boland Bait"

5. Taking the kids to the drop was a pretty big mistake! What do you think Beth should’ve done in this instance? Do you think saying no again to Rio was an option?

CALLED BEN OR SARA FOR A BABYSITTING ASSIST. For fucks’ sake.

And yeah, I think she could’ve said no to Rio but he would’ve kept her cut of that drop and, even worse, would’ve been able to hold the fact that she didn’t deliver that one time over her head forever more.

6. The krav maga teacher offers some sage advice telling Dean to not order the hit and instead just divorce his wife, haha. Do you think that he thought the baby hitmen would come through for Dean? Or do you think he was deliberately setting Dean up to get robbed?

I choose to believe the krav maga teacher knew exactly what kind of an idiot Dean was and set him up because the dude clearly had at least two brain cells to rub together and anyone with two brain cells to rub together would never get tangled up in a murder plot with Dean standing on the street corner telling random bystanders in detail how he wants to kill the guy that fucked his wife what do you mean established means and motive Boland.

7. During Ben and Annie’s tense conversation, Ben tells Annie that she’s hard to keep track of - she’s parent mom, cool mom, sketchy mom. In a lot of ways, this feels like a parallel to Ruby talking to Beth in the last episode and calling her ‘drug Beth, gun Beth, human trafficking Beth’. What do you make of this? And how do you think it relates to the show’s themes?

I defer to @foxmagpie’s answer because I like it a lot.

8. The scene with the girls in the house! Tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I love this scene a lot

Beth’s channeling Rio in general but also specifically in 201 you will never ever change my mind

Sometimes I lie awake at night wishing Rio had seen it

Prayer circle that he sees a version of it in s4

Can you imagine the nightmare level of boner he would get? The sheer narcissism!!

Ruby’s obvious wish for new friends is The Most Valid

I really love the main drug den guy, I love Blake Shields’s energy, it makes the scene crackle, and I wish they’d bring him back purely bc he’s gr9

9. Annie meets Noah in this episode! What do you think of their introduction to one another? And how would you rate Noah on the scale of ‘Garbage Annie Love Interests’?

at least he’s not her therapist I guess

10. Beth has two pivotal and emotionally revealing fights this episode - one with Dean and the other with Rio. How do these fights compare? And what do you think they tell us about her respective relationship with them?

UUUNNNNNFFFFFFFF

I L O V E how hard the show goes on Dean’s obsession with Beth and Rio as the primary source of his angst

the fact that he’s trying to rope Stan into murder while looking for Jane who isn’t even MISSING but Dean had NO IDEA bc instead of giving a shit he went straight to HOW CAN THIS BE THAT GUY’S FAULT

I love how clearly they delineate that it isn’t about Beth but specifically about someone else ~*~taking~*~ Beth from him and how emasculated that makes him feel (something something something the storyline opens with the krav maga guy choking him out and then telling him to divorce her and Dean being like I reject your rational and logical solution bc it doesn’t punish the man who touched my property, idk i have a half baked thought there but i can’t pull it out of my brain)

and then it’s all underscored how little Dean’s worried about Beth and her safety by him bringing her work up specifically as a gotcha (which, unless I’m forgetting something, is p much the only context Dean ever brings it up in besides maybe the sit down fight but that’s again, about Beth acting out vs genuine concern)

Meanwhile, this is contrasted with:

Beth flipping tf out at the mere suggestion Rio would ever hurt her children, showing how deeply and instinctively she trusts him in regards to her children aka what’s been established as her Most Important Priority over and over (in the same breath that she rips into Dean for losing Jane in the first place)

which is doubled down on her immediately going to Rio for help

and he is FURIOUS at her, but the thing he leans hard on isn’t how she could have jeopardized the business deal (aka his money, what’s been established as his Most Important Priority over and over) but how she jeopardized herself and how badly she can fuck up if she doesn’t take this seriously

putting himself in a vulnerable position (presumably burning a connect, letting on that Beth means something to him beyond business) to look out for Beth’s emotional well-being

And then, just to drive it home a little further, @sothischickshe pointed out the Beth and Rio fight over Beth’s self preservation is directly paralleled with Stan freaking out at Ruby over the IA stuff because he’s worried about her and I had to go and stare at a blank wall for a few minutes to calm down.

anyway, draw your own conclusions.

11. Ruby takes Jane being missing as an opportunity to try and find evidence on Beth for Turner and, in the process, finds Jane too. How do you think this scene captures Ruby’s moral dilemma? And do you think it’s a satisfying turning point in the Ruby-Turner arc?

I struggle a lot with the Turner and Ruby plot specifically because I HATE that Turner’s ruthlessly leaning on Ruby as the weak link but I’m also ferociously attracted to him so I’m less bothered by it than I feel like I should be so mostly I just try not to think about any of it.

Idk, I see it in some ways as a continuation of Ruby’s fight with Beth and Annie in s1 where Annie said she isn’t blood. They put Ruby on the outside but when push comes to shove, Ruby still puts the two of them above her own family. As far as I’m concerned, Annie still owes Ruby a massive apology for that. Beth I let off the hook a little because by the end of the season she’s ready to turn herself in to make it all go away for all of them (I think, unless I’m misremembering, which is entirely possible bc I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched all of 213)

12. RIO GETS BETH THE DUBBY!! That’s it, that’s the question. Please discuss.

I think a lot about how the gesture is so baldly honest neither one of them can face it either at all (Rio) or without taking a shot first (Beth) which, now that I’ve typed it out, is also an interesting flip of their general MO bc under normal circumstances I’d put Rio down as the one that, of the two of them, is more willing to face stuff whereas Beth’s the one that hides from it.

#gg rewatch #gg 2x07 #gg related #shut up meg

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bitemealiienboy · 5 years

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Birthday Suprise | Dhawan!Master x Reader

REQUEST: ‘Hii could you please write something about Dhawan!Master surprising the reader on her birthday? I think he would probably love spoiling the reader, but with his own touch of chaos of course hahhaha 💕’ ( @alotofrandomfangirling )

NOTES: Thank you so much for the request, love getting them. Hope you like it, And in the theme of the imagine, if it’s your birthday while reading this. Happy Birthday??

WORD COUNT: 1242

WARNINGS: None. The gif is not mine, as always.

When travelling through time and space you’d often become lost, you’d always struggle grounding yourself and getting back to the real world after stepping out of the Master’s TARDIS. You wished you could spend all your time travelling across the stars with the Master. But you still had to live in the real world, and work a real job that didn’t involve life from other galaxies. Since travelling with him life on earth in your present day would feel meaningless. For that past few years birthdays and holidays felt like nothing compared to the things you’ve seen and the people you met beyond the stars.

You were back at home in your flat after a long and tedious day at work. You had nothing special planned for your birthday, just a glass of wine and a cheesy film to fall asleep to. You wasted no time in executing your plan, as soon as you walked through the front door you went straight for the wine. You pressed play on the film and curled up on the sofa. But the Master had other plans.

You were about a quarter of the way through your glass of wine when there was a loud knock at your door. You pressed pause on the film and reluctantly got up from where you sat. It wasn’t until you saw his shadow through the door that you smiled.

“I thought you weren’t coming until next week,” you said as you unlocked the door.

“Thought I’d surprise you,” the Master replied.

You looked him up and down, noticing a few specs of rumble on his jack. You presumed it was from another one of his adventures. The only thing that seemed out of the ordinary to you was what he held in his hands.

“What’s that?” You could see it was a cake he was holding, you just wondered why.

“A cake,” he answered as if he was pointing out the obvious to you. The Master let himself in. He passed the cake to you and began looking around the flat. He had never been in your home before.

“Okay…wrong question, why have you got a cake?” You admired the cake as you walked into the kitchen. The messy icing and lettering that was crushed up together and read ‘happy birthday’. You watched him look around your flat from the kitchen. He opened the door to each room poking his head around the door.

“Your bedroom is cleaner than I expected,” he noted as he came to join you in the kitchen.

You tried not to be offended by his comment as you asked him again; “why do you have a cake?”

“Isn’t that what humans do on birthdays? You could try and act a little more enthusiastic.”

“I never told you when my birthday is,” you said as you got a knife out of your draw.

“I know.”

“Well are you going to tell me how you found out?”

“I have my ways,” he grinned.

“You’re something else.” You cut into the cake, but the knife struggled to go through. You looked up at him.

“I made it,” the Master said dipping his finger into the blue icing.

“You made it? Did you follow a recipe?” You wanted to sound casual but instead you came off as more shocked and concerned.

“...No.”

You weren't surprised by his answer, he never followed rules to anything. “Well I appreciate the effort,” you smiled leaning back on your kitchen counter. “I know you haven’t come here to give me that,” you stared at the cake for a second, questioning if it was safe to eat.

“Well I thought you’d fancy a trip in the TARDIS. You have been begging me to take you to Ancient Greece for months now.” He placed a hand on the kitchen counter, leaning on it as he awaited a response.

Your eyes lit up at his words, perhaps he did listen to you. Well at least sometimes. You quickly grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your flat, giving him no time to protest. You saw his TARDIS parked in the corner of the street. You headed towards it and invited yourself in.

The Master let go of your hand once you entered his TARDIS. “Excited are we?” He mused as he made his way to the consul. He turned a few dials and pressed some buttons before hovering his hand over the leaver. “Ready,” he teased deliberately taking his time to annoy you.

“Just do it!” You beamed, grabbing onto the sides of the console.

The Master smirked at you and pulled the lever down.

The TARDIS landed, you looked over at the Master who’s eyes narrowed towards the door.

“Go on,” he spoke softly.

You stepped towards the TARDIS doors, but stopped before opening them. One thing you have always wanted to see was Ancient Greece in its prime. You wanted to see what The Parthenon looked like just as it was built and what The Temple of Apollo was like before it aged and crumbled into the earth.

“Are you just going to stand there?” The Master questioned.

At his words you pushed open the door, jumping outside. You looked at your surroundings, this wasn’t the Ancient Greece you were expecting. Before you were hundreds and hundreds of Greece soldiers fighting each other to the death. The Master brought you right in the middle of a battle.

“So I may have got the coordinates slightly wrong,” the Master said joining you outside of his TARDIS.

“Oh really,” you said, “we should leave. I don’t wanna die here.”

Just as you were about to leave a javiling was thrown in your direction. It hit the Master's TARDIS. You looked at him, his face turned sour and he let out an angry yell.

“Don’t get involved,” you warned. But the Master had already got his Tissue Compression Eliminator out. “No!” You warned again taking it away, “no compressing people on my birthday.”

“Well technically you haven’t been born yet,” he said, snatching it back.

“There are no loopholes,” you argue, taking it away again and quickly throwing it into the TARDIS.

“Well, I don’t need that to kill people,” he said smugly and before you could stop him he marched into the battle.

“Master!” You called, but he disappeared into a sea of people. “Oh for god sake,” you muttered running after him.

As soon as you found the Master and managed to get a strong hold of his arm you started to run away from the battle. The pair of you dodged arrows and pushed away spartan soldiers. You both dove into his TARDIS, slamming the door behind you and leaning against it. You both took a moment to catch your breath, panting as you slowly sunk to the floor to sit down.

“They didn’t hurt you, did they?” The Master sat down next to you, his face showing concern.

“No. No. You?”

“I’m fine,” he looked over at you, his face soft and eyes showing a look of apology. “Maybe we can go to The Parthenon another day. When I worked on the coordinates.”

“Is that a promise?” You grinned.

“No… yes.”

You smile at him, watching as he gets up from his spot next to you. He held out a hand, helping you up.

“We still have that cake I made,” he noted.

“I think I’d rather go back out there.”

#dhawan master #dhawan master x reader #dhawan!master x reader #dhawan!master #the master #the master x reader #doctor who imagine #request

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sennextheassasinkingoflight · 4 years

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Redemption, My Love

Chapter 7 Cross posted here on Ao3 Cursed TV 2020 Lancewain Rating Explicit for lots of reasons. I Suggest viewing the tags on Ao3. The major ones: Referenced/past child abuse (all types includes noncon) angst, canon typical blood and gore, language dark themes.

Chapter Summary:

Merlin and Morgana search for Nimue.

Pym is a leader in the making ( you can't change my mind).

Lancelot reveals a secret.

Adjusting his feet on uneven, slick stone Merlin holds the widow close against his chest. The rain and waterfall spray soaks them through their layers of clothing and chills them to the bone. Or it would have, if not for the fact that the woman is Death and death could not feel such trivial things as hot and cold, nor could Merlin focus on such a mortal difficulty as magic hummed through his veins once more. The whir of magic crackles in the air around them, lightning flashing, visible even through closed eyes. The spell works as it should; for a moment they fall through shadow and nothing, then they land, feet rejoining the earth. Opening his eyes, he squints against the spray seeking to destroy his retinas and scans the turning water for his daughter. Nimue had to be here, in this pool. Certainly she could have been pushed further down stream, but it seemed at this moment, unlikely. The widow with her new face pulls away from him to begin her own frantic and frightful search. He blinks against the light and the spindrift as he relishes in the vibrancy that is his returned magic. He feels renewed, whole again. He can feel the singing of magic in his veins, awakening long since closed off passageways and igniting a part of him he feared would never exist again. While he would love to bask in the ecstasy and relish the pulsing of life in his skin, he knows there is a more urgent matter to attend. He joins the widow, the new widow, in her search for Nimue.

He circles opposite the woman cloaked in black, drenched clothing leaving nothing to be imagined, and seeks out signs of blood in the water, hair on the surface, anything to tell him where Nimue has surfaced. They cannot search farther downstream until they are completely certain she is not here, and that might take a while with only the two of them. Walking slowly, deliberately, he looks for signs in the grass and the mud on the edge of the shore for signs of his daughter. Finding none, he fears that the current may have carried her further downstream; He groans. She doesn’t have time for them to be wasting it, walking around. He will not lose her now that he knows of her. Now that he has a chance to get to know her. The sun is beginning to fade, and they will quickly lose the ability to search for her. They must be brisk in their search, careful but quick. Glancing across the basin he finds the widow doing the same. When their eyes meet they share a grim shake of their heads. There is nothing that indicates she is still in the tarn. Drenched from head to toe, clothes clinging tightly to their bodies, they rejoin one another nearest the mouth of the narrow river. The only place they could not see was directly beneath the waterfall, and the power of the torrent alone would have pushed Nimue, unconscious or not, outward from its base. “She must be further downstream.” The woman insists. “Who are you and how did you become the widow?” He yells against the roaring of the falls and the deafening humming in his ears. The woman flinches back and stares at him, eyebrows pinched together creasing her forehead. Shaking her head in annoyance or disappointment she pushes past him and begins the trek down stream. Instinctively he follows, crossing over to the other side of the small river; despite its size, it is flowing quickly and roughly. From this side he can see into the reeds of the opposite bank better. In this way they can cover both sides more effectively, and be ready to assist her as soon as they find her. And they will find her, of that he is certain; the only question that remains is whether she will be alive when they do.

The pair walk in silence down the banks separated by the roar of the rapids and the thundering of the falls. Merlin's eyes dart between the bank, the river, and the new widow. This does not bode well. He wonders what has happened that the widow is no longer an old friend but a young and unknown face. He knows that it means she was killed, at some level, but it is surprising all the same. Whatever happened can't be good. Pushing that train of thought away he turns his attention back to the grassy banks of the turbulent river. Pointedly, he ignores the familiar itch in his right hand, and pushes down the haze that comes with having not used his magic in so long.

When the sound of the falls has died to a mere whimper he calls across the river, repeating his previous question. The woman answers, voice steady and unwavering. She does not meet his eyes, and that is fine. “Who are you and how did you come to be the widow?” “I’m Morgana, Nimue's friend. Don’t you recognize me?” She barks out, shaking her head at him and rolling her eyes. “My dear, when you have lived as long as I have, you stop remembering faces that aren't important.” This is the best answer he can offer her. “And I killed the widow with that sword.” Shrugging, she turns her attention to a reedy area. There is an odd break in the foliage growing in the shallows of the bend. The tall grasses are folded over and there is an indentation in the berry bush. Without thinking he runs ahead to the visibly shallower section of the river and splashes his way back to her. His robes drag in the water behind him but he can’t be bothered to mess with them as he hears Morgana cry out. HIs heart constricts in his chest and he redoubles his effort to reach them.

“Nimue, Nimue!” Morgana calls and kneels beside the form of a body he can barely see from his vantage point. He bats the branches of the bush away with the sword and kneels in the water to get a better look at the wounds. Initially he can see that the arrow from her shoulder has dislodged itself completely and is oozing blood, the other arrow has broken off leaving a short nub where the shaft should have been. He knows his magic and his knowledge could help her, but they don’t have any supplies here. He inhales sharply, his mind made up. “We need to get her to a healer.” Morgana's wavering voice catches his attention and for a moment all he can do is stare.

These two women, his daughter and her friend, the widow, are so young. Blinking he nods, “I know. Now take my hand and hold tight to her. I haven’t done this in years.” +++++PYM+++++

Looking out from the cave she can see that they have lost a great many in this betrayal. She swallows and pushes past Kaze. She isn’t the best healer but she could certainly help. She needed to help. The sight of the Red Spear and her men only encourages her to do so. She had tended to those men and it had kept her alive, and now they had helped save her people. For their own reasons she was sure, but the least she could do for Doff's brothers was help them live. Beyond that her own people need help, and she has enough skills to be useful now.

The sand under her feet gives way and she nearly falls several times as she avoids puddles of blood forming on the still wet sand and corpses alike, searching for those that are alive and can be helped. She doesn’t get far before Arthur and The Red Spear are calling for her. Their voices are barely audible over the wind blowing through the beach. She whips her head around and wipes stray hairs from her face, annoyed. What could they possibly need that is more important than this? Why aren't they getting the others to help? Moving much more quickly than she had been she makes her way towards them. Her shoulders draw inward as she comes under the gaze of the Red Spear, and she ducks her head in acknowledgment. “You have found your people again, healer.” Fidgeting with her braid she nods. The Red Spear does not seem at all enthused. Arthur looks between them and huffs out a laugh. “Well then, I suppose you can act as our go-between since you actually have an understanding of the raiders.” “We aren’t raiders, we are warriors! That is beside the point now. The wounded need tended to. We have put down the last of Cumber's men.” “Our healers will do everything they can for your men as well as our own. Pym organize those who can help with this.” “Me!” She lets her hands fall away from her braid and stares at Arthur in surprise. “Yes, you. The people will listen to you. Nimue left me in charge but I’m not a fey. Work with me.”

Throwing her hands up she turns her back on the couple and mutters, “Sure thing, as if Cora or the others wouldn't be better matched for this.” She trudged back across the body strewn beach, towards the other fey. As she approaches, some of the older fey moved towards the front of the group. Expressing a strength she did not feel, she pulls her shoulders back and tries for an air of authority. “I need volunteers to tend to the wounded. And volunteers to sort through the bodies of the dead, so we can send them into the twilight properly.” She lets her words hang in the air, her throat constricting. They have all lost so many people, family, friends, loved ones. When the silence has stretched untowardly long, she collects herself and pushes the distraught faces from her mind. “If you are strong enough to carry the wounded and dead, I need you out there doing so. Wounded go near the cave, the dead get sorted here on the beach. If you cannot lift the injured I want you setting up tents to tend them in near the caves. If you are a healer or have any knowledge or practice in the area, we need to get the supplies set up so we can all access them.” Her voice is soft on the wind of the coast, and for a moment she fears no one has heard her, but then they start moving. Men and women both in groups to the cave, the boats with their supplies, and towards the red stained sand. She takes a moment longer to collect herself and joins the others at the cave. Kaze has gone, joining Arthur, the Red Spear, and several other warriors near the center of the battlefield. Ignoring them, Pym sets to work laying out blankets and weighing them down on the edges. They use crates and rocks to lift their tools, salves, and bandages from the ground, to put their pestles and mortars on. It isn’t long before the injured start filling up the space around them. She answers questions as best she can, and fields the others to Yeva or Cora or any of the elders who have come to help. They know more than she, she thinks. She is surrounded by the noise of the dying, and wounded, of healers, and mothers and fathers treating them as best they can. Whispered prayers and howls of pain are her companions in the fading light of day. The smell of sea water and herbs cover over the smell of death, but infection is the main concern for those who yet live. There are those they can’t save, as there always are after a battle. She does her best to make them comfortable, but does not waste the medicines they have on bandaging the wounds. They give those who are entering into the realm of the dead only pain relief and make them as comfortable as possible. She knows what those who have no hope of life left look like, and when she glances around she sees that she is not alone in this. The moans and groans of the dying men and women around her cause her heart to ache. There is nothing for it, nothing but to continue doing as she was and tending the injured she could still help.

Her hands have stopped shaking as she works at stitching up a gash in a Tusks arm. Willing herself to breath evenly, she focuses on the individual stitches. They aren’t as neat as some of the others, that’s for certain, but they get the job done. It stops the bleeding and presses the flesh together in a seam. With quick and definitive movements she covers the flesh with a poultice and wraps it with clean bandages and sends this one on his way. They work well into the dark, the torches and bonfires their only light. It’s harder this way, but there are still many injured, and it would not do well to let them wait until morning. Finished with another patient, she stretched out her neck, rolling her shoulders and stretching out her arms before slumping forward on one of the crates and closing her eyes for a moment. She barely reacts when something warm is draped over her shoulders. It seems to her she has only rested a moment when she was shaken awake. ‘Wha-what is it?” She slurs, wiping sleep from her eyes and attempting to grasp at the blanket falling from her shoulders. As it landed in the dust it was forgotten. There, at the center of the camp stood Morgana, soaking wet and dressed in black, with Merlin; and in their arms a limp and bleeding Nimue.

++++Lancelot++++

They’ve been traveling for three days in varying degrees of silence and conversation. It’s just after noon, the sun is high above them, though it is blocked by angry black clouds. The air is heady with the scent of rain, and the trio has fallen into another silence. Their moods sour by the idea that they may be traveling while soaking wet. It is not ideal, but there would be a day yet before they arrive at Beggars Coast with no certainty that they would be met with the rest of the Fey. It wears on The Green Knight, and even Percival begins to show signs of concern.

The scenery has changed at least. The paths that they follow now are not so open and full of short shrubs and weeds. Instead, the narrow trails are hidden among the trees of the woods; they are little more than those created by the deer. He follows behind Gawain, Percival in front of him in the saddle. He can’t help but cast his gaze to and fro, tracking movement in the woods. Normally he is very good about blocking out scents he doesn’t need to focus on, but today he lets them invade his senses. Everything from the scent of the boy in front of him to the fox scurrying over a log 30 feet from them. It’s fresh and puts him at ease. Familiar in a way nothing has been in a very long time. There is no blood, smoke, or burning flesh, no infection, rotting flesh, or soiled goods to assault his senses. Silently he watches as squirrels scurry across the forest floor seeking out food before the storm comes.

The shift of wind around them breaks his focus and he turns his eyes forward to study the tight line of Gawain's shoulders. The warrior sits rigid and still, he would be a statue if not for the gentle sway of riding a horse. Something is bothering him, but Lancelot does not know if he has any right to inquire as to what. Instead, he tries to think through what might have The Green Knight of the Fey so concerned. The problem with this, is that he doesn’t know anything about him. Well nothing personal. Lancelot knows that he is the most prominent and perhaps skilled fighter of the Fey, that he was their one of their leaders (if his silence in Brother Salt's tent was anything to go by) and that he is concerned that they won’t make it in time to meet with the others. While these are all pertinent pieces of information, they do not account for the other man's foul mood. Perhaps he has a loved one or lover among the Fey whom he is concerned for? The possibilities are endless. “Lancelot?” He nearly misses Percivals uncertain voice as it bleeds into the wind. “Yes?” “You never answered my question.” “Hm, which of your questions? You asked many questions.” The acknowledgment makes his stomach turn. He does not want to return to discussion on his actions. Not at this moment at least. “Why did you name him Goliath?” The boy pats the horse's neck and gives it a scratch, which Goliath seems appreciative of. There was no harm in telling him the truth now that he wasn’t dying. “Because he is large and powerful. Goliath was a giant who nearly conquered an entire army single handedly, according to the scriptures.” He had thought it impossible for Gawain to look more uncomfortable but he notes the twitch in his shoulders as he stops himself from turning to look at them. Lancelot has not looked away from the other man since he started trying to determine the cause of his melancholy. “Nearly? What happened? Why Didn’t he?” As predicted, Percival seems excited about the prospect of a new story. Unfortunately Lancelot intends only to paraphrase. He doesn't think Gawain would appreciate him spouting his beliefs, the paladins' beliefs, at the boy. “He was hit in the head with a stone, and once unconscious his head was cut off by his enemy.” “That's stupid. Why would you name your horse after someone who died like that? It’s ridiculous.” “Perhaps, it is a reminder that even the greatest can fall. I believe it suits him.” “ Do you...do you think he likes his name?” The hesitation in Percivals voice combined with the new scent coming off him set Lancelot on alert. He is up to something, even if The Weeping Monk does not know what. “Do I…. He responds to it. I imagine it doesn’t matter to him as it does to us.” He furrows his brows as he considers the boy's implication, but keeps looking ahead. “But do you know that for sure? Maybe he’s like me. Maybe he doesn’t like Goliath but likes being called Midnight. But you call him Goliath anyways because Midnight 'is a time of day'.”

Ahh so that's what it's about, then. The thought makes him feel lighter; he could almost laugh at the absurdity of it. “Percival… Is this about me telling you Squirrel isn’t a real name.” “I don’t know, bloody idiot, figure it out.” The boy crosses his arms in front of him, and Goliath whinnies as if in agreement with him. Gawain huffs the barest laugh in front of them, and his shoulders relax the barest amount.

Lancelot's lips twitch uncertainly in the ghost of a smile and he refocuses on the boy in front of him. “Why don’t you like your name?” “I just don’t, okay.” “Why do you want me to call you Squirrel instead?” It’s the same question in different words and he hopes that maybe the boy will answer. Though, he knows he is smart and may see it as the repetition it is. “Because I do.” “Percival, those are not answers.” He tries to be gentle, but his voice comes out firm. He is accustomed to giving orders, not making requests. “Yes. They are.” Percival pouts and lets his hands fall to the saddle horn in front of him. “They are not useful answers.” He does chuckle lightly at this, so lightly it goes unnoticed, “I will make you a deal. If you can tell me why it is that you do not like your name and prefer me to call you Squirrel, then I will try to call you the name you prefer.”

Percival fell silent as though he is thinking about what he wants to say in response to Lancelot's offer. He fidgets slightly with the reigns he is holding. Lancelot watches his movements carefully but does not worry much, Goliath is well trained. He notes Gawain casting a curious and unreadable look over his shoulder, but says nothing; there is no reason for it. Percival draws in a deep breath and Lancelot's lungs ache in reaction to it. He longs for the day when he can breath deeply again without his ribs protesting, or to ride without the constant dizzying reminder that they are broken. They are still far from healed enough to do something like that. Instead Lancelot focuses on breathing shallowly through his nose. “Gawain. Stop.” He hisses as he takes the reins from Percival and reigns Goliath up short. Gawain follows suit just in front of them, eyes darting around the woods for whatever he has seen. ‘What is it?” Percival asks in a harsh whisper, Gawain looks at them quizzically, waiting silently for an answer.

“Paladins, I’m not certain how many,” glancing around and taking a deeper breath he adds, “Five or six maybe. Less than a mile ahead.” “How can you know that? There’s no sign of them.” The knight responds irate, eyebrow raised and eyes searching. Lancelot realizes that Gawain believes this to be a trap. It is not far from the reality of what could have been. He will have to speak the truth and hope that Gawain believes him. Shifting uncomfortably under The Green Knights relentless gaze he clears his throat and answers more quietly than necessary: “I can smell them.”

He watches realization unfold on Gawain's face as everything falls together. Certainly Lancelot as a Fey could have led them to Nemos or elsewhere based on the old Fey signs they left, but he had been a child when he was taken, he wouldn’t have known all of it, maybe not even enough to take him to where the others were. But this, this information puts it all into perspective. He watches as Gawain shifts between surprise, confusion, realization, anger, and alarm. Before Gawain can open his mouth to respond, they hear shouting over the bluff.

#Cursed Fanfiction #Cursed Tv 2020 #Lancewain #Lancelot #The Weeping Monk #Gawain #The Green Knight #Percival #Post season 1 #Enemies to Lovers #Found Family #Merlin #Pym #Fanfiction

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hamliet · 5 years

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Fly My Dark Butterflies Fly

Or the one in which I braved the MTL translations for 2Ha and finished, so here’s the updated review (SPOILERS below):

It’s a good story that I thoroughly enjoyed and that made me *feel* things, which is primarily why I read stories. That said, it was thematically... a mess, and so I’m going to rant a lot in this, but please also note that I did enjoy and like the novel and would recommend it.

Can everyone be redeemed? Or are you born good or bad? The author seems to imply that yes is her answer through the first third of her novel, and then kind of... chickens out? It’s hard to tell (and again, not reading in the original is likely part of this impression in me) whether it was well set up or not, but by the end I felt like her answer was closer to either you’re blessed or you’re not, sucks to suck. Which was disappointing. Despite the fact that the author does rightly indict society for failing people and thereby them turning out evil, she doesn't really get into the notion of society being responsible beyond a surface level. It’s acknowledged, called out even, but not explored as it is in, say, all of MXTX’s works.

I was severely disappointed to find out Mo Ran was really good all along and poisoned into doing those things, even if it sometimes pointed out that hey, we all have those desires but we have self-control and the poison only amplified them. Which would have been fine if this was better explored, but again, it’s kept surface level.

This plot twist also seemed pointless to me: like, by that point, anyone still reading reading is firmly empathizing with Mo Ran despite how evil he was in the past. Good. MAKE us uncomfortable with our empathy, as it seemed the novel initially set out to do--it was brash and exploring the limits of redemption and forgiveness, boldly so, but this seemed to suddenly draw back on that: "hey look it's fine you were empathizing because he was more or less innocent!" (Well, it's complicated. But I prefer it when, like Wei Wuxian in MDZS, the author is unflinchingly honest that despite the circumstances he *fully* made his poor choices on his own.) No, I am not reading this kind of novel if I want to be comfortable, Author.

I really disliked how the Butterfly Bone Beauty Clan was treated as well between Hua Bainan and Song Qiutong; hence, my title for this. Honestly like, eat the entire world, my dark butterflies.

Song Qiutong in particular.... I am baffled as to why the author had such animosity towards her. What is the worst thing she did? Accuse Ye Wangxi of rape? Yeah, that was really terrible and she was punished for it, as she should have been (like Nangong Si dumping her). However, why weren’t her circumstances and background considered like they were when the characters do similarly unforgiveable things? Song Qiutong was rescued from being sold as a pleasure slave/to be eaten and she had deliberately been set up to look as if she was cheating on Nangong Si to provoke her into accusing Ye Wangxi. Which she did. Yes, it was still 100% wrong to do that. But why does the narrative sympathize with Mo Ran when he's pushed to his limits and does evil, giving us his whole agonizing backstory, but not with Song Qiutong? Idk, but a girl who has been so dehumanized that it's only logical she'll be fearing that she's about to be cast aside (ie which, given her heritage, would likely mean being subject to rape and being eaten alive) trying to save her life is tragic, not scheming and evil. Was it because Mo Ran was self-sacrificial and Song Qiutong wanted to sacrifice someone else? Do you not remember your own words, Author, about how you wouldn't blame someone for wanting to live? That's a literal line in your novel. Or does it only apply to your MCs?

(The same issue was present in Rong Jiu's treatment. You can't make these points about how unfair and cruel it is and then be like "random coincidence they have no hope and Mo Ran does because he's loved, sucks if you're not!" That... isn't hopeful, and the problem is that the novel seems as if it is trying to be hopeful.)

Now, returning to the BBB Clan. WHY are the two we get to know evil? Seriously, you present a group as being persecuted but every single character you introduce from them is manipulative and evil? I just... no...(though, it is possible this isn’t the case. The MTL language was vague enough that I wasn’t clear on whether or not Mo Ran was also Butterfly Bone Beauty or some other demonic race).

Okay, there. Rant over. Now I can discuss what I loved.

Despite that, it's to the author's credit and utter talent that I still rooted for Mo Ran and Chu Wanning, because usually blatant protagonist favoritism makes me hate the protagonist. At that point, though, they had suffered too much and to their credit, taken responsibility for their actions, so I was glad they got their happy ending.

Xue Meng’s development, too, was fantastic, and I particularly enjoyed his relationship with both Mei Hanxues (who were actually decent twin characters, in that they were very very different from one another and had their own complex motivations!). I totally did not see the twist about Xue Meng’s origins coming at the end, and was pleasantly surprised.

The entire Xue family--Sect Leader Xue and Lady Wang--were wonderful, and it was amazing to see great parents in the story, because I totally did not expect that coming into it. It’s actually interesting to me how complex the parental figure were--Mo Ran’s mom was a good mother, and Ye Wangxi’s foster father was by all accounts a bad person but a good dad. No matter his motivations, he did love his daughter. Not only that, but Nangong Si’s love for Nangong Liu despite his father’s failings were quite moving, because it was realistic--you can’t just started hating someone you loved all your life even if you despise everything they stand for. (Nangong Liu, also, was another decent redemption, and I wish more had been done with him.)

Ye Wangxi was also the epitome of a great female character. I adored every development related to her, and her relationship with Nangong Si was a highlight. Every time she was on page I was like “kick his ass baby.”

The villain reveal... well, I was right about it, and I do think it was well done. There was enough set up to see it coming yet enough emotion involved to make you be like NOOO at the same time. Additionally, their connection to the butterfly bone sect was also hinted at not too strongly, but enough so that I had wondered, so the author is pretty great about setting up surprise twists.

Overall, I would rate the novel a 7/10 (same as I would rate FGEP) but feelings-wise an 8/10. I enjoyed 2Ha more than FGEP because it provoked my emotions more and was better written prose-wise (even in the MTL), but FGEP had much clearer themes despite other elements of shoddy writing. MXTX continues to be in a league of her own when it comes to narrative.

#2ha #hamliet reviews #the husky and his white cat shizun #mo ran #chu wanning #wanran #2ha spoilers #spoilers #nangong si #ye wangxi #lady wang #mei hanxue #xue meng #song qiutong #hua bainan #nangong liu

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mattbrothersscriptwriter · 5 years

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My Top 20 Films of 2019 - Part Two

I don’t think I’ve had a year where my top ten jostled and shifted as much as this one did - these really are the best of the best and my personal favourites of 2019.

10. Toy Story 4

I think we can all agree that Toy Story 3 was a pretty much perfect conclusion to a perfect trilogy right? About as close as is likely to get, I’m sure. I shared the same trepidation when part four was announced, especially after some underwhelming sequels like Finding Dory and Cars 3 (though I do have a lot of time for Monsters University and Incredibles 2). So maybe it’s because the odds were so stacked against this being good but I thought it was wonderful. A truly existential nightmare of an epilogue that does away with Andy (and mostly kids altogether) to focus on the dreams and desires of the toys themselves - separate from their ‘duties’ as playthings to biological Gods. What is their purpose in life without an owner? Can they be their own person and carve their own path? In the case of breakout new character Forky (Tony Hale), what IS life? Big big questions for a cash grab kids films huh?

The animation is somehow yet another huge leap forward (that opening rainstorm!), Bo Peep’s return is excellently pitched and the series tradition of being unnervingly horrifying is back as well thanks to those creepy ventriloquist dolls! Keanu Reeves continues his ‘Keanuassaince‘ as the hilarious Duke Caboom and this time, hopefully, the ending at least feels finite. This series means so much to me: I think the first movie is possibly the tightest, most perfect script ever written, the third is one of my favourites of the decade and growing up with the franchise (I was 9 when the first came out, 13 for part two, 24 for part three and now 32 for this one), these characters are like old friends so of course it was great to see them again. All this film had to do was be good enough to justify its existence and while there are certainly those out there that don’t believe this one managed it, I think the fact that it went as far as it did showed that Pixar are still capable of pushing boundaries and exploring infinity and beyond when they really put their minds to it.

9. The Nightingale

Hoo boy. Already controversial with talk of mass walkouts (I witnessed a few when this screened at Sundance London), it’s not hard to see why but easy to understand. Jennifer Kent (The Babadook) is a truly fearless filmmaker following up her acclaimed suburban horror movie come grief allegory with a period revenge tale set in the Tasmanian wilderness during British colonial rule in the early 1800s. It’s rare to see the British depicted with the monstrous brutality for which they were known in the distant colonies and this unflinching drama sorely needed an Australian voice behind the camera to do it justice.

The film is front loaded with some genuinely upsetting, nasty scenes of cruel violence but its uncensored brutality and the almost casual nature of its depiction is entirely the point - this was normalised behaviour over there and by treating it so matter of factly, it doesn’t slip into gratuitous ‘movie violence’. It is what it is. And what it is is hard to watch. If anything, as Kent has often stated, it’s still toned down from the actual atrocities that occurred so it’s a delicate balance that I think Kent more than understands. Quoting from an excellent Vanity Fair interview she did about how she directs, Kent said “I think audiences have become very anaesthetised to violence on screen and it’s something I find disturbing... People say ‘these scenes are so shocking and disturbing’. Of course they are. We need to feel that. When we become so removed from violence on screen, this is a very irresponsible thing. So I wanted to put us right within the frame with that person experiencing the loss of everything they hold dear”.

Aisling Franciosi is next level here as a woman who has her whole life torn from her, leaving her as nothing but a raging husk out for vengeance. It would be so easy to fall into odd couple tropes once she teams up with reluctant native tracker Billy (an equally impressive newcomer, Baykali Ganambarr) but the film continues to stay true to the harsh racism of the era, unafraid to depict our heroine - our point of sympathy - as horrendously racist towards her own ally. Their partnership is not easily solidified but that makes it all the stronger when they star to trust each other. Sam Claflin is also career best here, weaponizing his usual charm into dangerous menace and even after cementing himself as the year’s most evil villain, he can still draw out the humanity in such a broken and corrupt man.

Gorgeously shot in the Academy ratio, the forest landscape here is oppressive and claustrophobic. Kent also steps back into her horror roots with some mesmerising, skin crawling dream scenes that amplify the woozy nightmarish tone and overbearing sense of dread. Once seen, never forgotten, this is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea (and that’s fine) but when cinema can affect you on such a visceral level and be this powerful, reflective and honest about our own past, it’s hard to ignore. Stunning.

8. The Irishman

Aka Martin Scorsese’s magnum opus, I did manage to see this one in a cinema before the Netflix drop and absolutely loved it. I’ve watched 85 minute long movies that felt longer than this - Marty’s mastery of pace, energy and knowing when to let things play out in agonising detail is second to none. This epic tale of the life of Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro) really is the cinematic equivalent of having your cake and eating it too, allowing Scorsese to run through a greatest hits victory lap of mobster set pieces, alpha male arguments, a decades spanning life story and one (last?) truly great Joe Pesci performance before simply letting the story... continue... to a natural, depressing and tragic ending, reflecting the emptiness of a life built on violence and crime.

For a film this long, it’s impressive how much the smallest details make the biggest impacts. A stammering phone call from a man emotionally incapable of offering any sort of condolence. The cold refusal of forgiveness from a once loving daughter. A simple mirroring of a bowl of cereal or a door left slightly ajar. These are the parts of life that haunt us all and it’s what we notice the most in a deliberately lengthy biopic that shows how much these things matter when everything else is said and done. The violence explodes in sudden, sharp bursts, often capping off unbearably tense sequences filled with the everyday (a car ride, a conversation about fish, ice cream...) and this contrast between the whizz bang of classic Scorsese and the contemplative nature of Silence era Scorsese is what makes this film feel like such an accomplishment. De Niro is FINALLY back but it’s the memorably against type role for Pesci and an invigorated Al Pacino who steals this one, along with a roll call of fantastic cameos, with perhaps the most screentime given to the wonderfully petty Stephen Graham as Tony Pro, not to mention Anna Paquin’s near silent performance which says more than possibly anyone else.

Yes, the CG de-aging is misguided at best, distracting at worst (I never really knew how old anyone was meant to be at any given time... which is kinda a problem) but like how you get used to it really quickly when it’s used well, here I kinda got past it being bad in an equally fast amount of time and just went with it. Would it have been a different beast had they cast younger actors to play them in the past? Undoubtedly. But if this gives us over three hours of Hollywood’s finest giving it their all for the last real time together, then that’s a compromise I can live with.

7. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

Wow. I was in love with this film from the moving first trailer but then the film itself surpassed all expectations. This is a true indie film success story, with lead actor Jimmie Fails developing the idea with director Joe Talbot for years before Kickstarting a proof of concept and eventually getting into Sundance with short film American Paradise, which led to the backing of this debut feature through Plan B and A24. The deeply personal and poetic drama follows a fictionalised version of Jimmie, trying to buy back an old Victorian town house he claims was built by his grandfather, in an act of rebellion against the increasingly gentrified San Francisco that both he and director Talbot call home.

The film is many things - a story of male friendship, of solidarity within our community, of how our cities can change right from underneath us - it moves to the beat of it’s own drum, with painterly cinematography full of gorgeous autumnal colours and my favourite score of the year from Emile Mosseri. The performances, mostly by newcomers or locals outside of brilliant turns from Jonathan Majors, Danny Glover and Thora Birch, are wonderful and the whole thing is such a beautiful love letter to the city that it makes you ache for a strong sense of place in your own home, even if your relationship with it is fractured or strained. As Jimmie says, “you’re not allowed to hate it unless you love it”.

For me, last year’s Blindspotting (my favourite film of the year) tackled gentrification within California more succinctly but this much more lyrical piece of work ebbs and flows through a number of themes like identity, family, memory and time. It’s a big film living inside a small, personal one and it is not to be overlooked.

6. Little Women

I had neither read the book nor seen any prior adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s 1868 novel so to me, this is by default the definitive telling of this story. If from what I hear, the non linear structure is Greta Gerwig’s addition, then it’s a total slam dunk. It works so well in breaking up the narrative and by jumping from past to present, her screenplay highlights certain moments and decisions with a palpable sense of irony, emotional weight or knowing wink. Getting to see a statement made with sincere conviction and then paid off within seconds, can be both a joy and a surefire recipe for tears. Whether it’s the devastating contrast between scenes centred around Beth’s illness or the juxtaposition of character’s attitudes to one another, it’s a massive triumph. Watching Amy angrily tell Laurie how she’s been in love with him all her life and then cutting back to her childishly making a plaster cast of her foot for him (’to remind him how small her feet are’) is so funny.

Gerwig and her impeccable cast bring an electric energy to the period setting, capturing the big, messy realities of family life with a mix of overwhelming cross-chatter and the smallest of intimate gestures. It’s a testament to the film that every sister feels fully serviced and represented, from Beth’s quiet strength to Amy’s unforgivable sibling rivalry. Chris Cooper’s turn as a stoic man suffering almost imperceptible grief is a personal heartbreaking favourite.

The book’s (I’m assuming) most sweeping romantic statements are wonderfully delivered, full of urgent passion and relatable heartache, from Marmie’s (Laura Dern) “I’m angry nearly every day of my life” moment to Jo’s (Saoirse Ronan) painful defiance of feminine attributes not being enough to cure her loneliness. The sheer amount of heart and warmth in this is just remarkable and I can easily see it being a film I return to again and again.

5. Booksmart

2019 has been a banner year for female directors, making their exclusion from some of the early awards conversations all the more damning. From this list alone, we have Lulu Wang, Jennifer Kent and Greta Gerwig. Not to mention Lorene Scafaria (Hustlers), Melina Matsoukas (Queen & Slim), Jocelyn DeBoer & Dawn Luebbe (Greener Grass), Sophie Hyde (Animals) and Rose Glass (Saint Maud - watch out for THIS one in 2020, it’s brilliant). Perhaps the most natural transition from in front of to behind the camera has been made by Olivia Wilde, who has created a borderline perfect teen comedy that can make you laugh till you cry, cry till you laugh and everything in-between.

Subverting the (usually male focused) ‘one last party before college’ tropes that fuel the likes of Superbad and it’s many inferior imitators, Booksmart follows two overachievers who, rather than go on a coming of age journey to get some booze or get laid, simply want to indulge in an insane night of teenage freedom after realising that all of the ‘cool kids’ who they assumed were dropouts, also managed to get a place in all of the big universities. It’s a subtly clever remix of an old favourite from the get go but the committed performances from Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein put you firmly in their shoes for the whole ride.

It’s a genuine blast, with big laughs and a bigger heart, portraying a supportive female friendship that doesn’t rely on hokey contrivances to tear them apart, meaning that when certain repressed feelings do come to the surface, the fallout is heartbreaking. As I stated in a twitter rave after first seeing it back in May, every single character, no matter how much they might appear to be simply representing a stock role or genre trope, gets their moment to be humanised. This is an impeccably cast ensemble of young unknowns who constantly surprise and the script is a marvel - a watertight structure without a beat out of place, callbacks and payoffs to throwaway gags circle back to be hugely important and most of all, the approach taken to sexuality and representation feels so natural. I really think it is destined to be looked back on and represent 2019 the way Heathers does ‘88, Clueless ‘95 or Easy A 2010. A new high benchmark for crowd pleasing, indie comedy - teen or otherwise.

4. Ad Astra

Brad Pitt is one of my favourite actors and one who, despite still being a huge A-lister even after 30 years in the game, never seems to get enough credit for the choices he makes, the movies he stars in and also the range of stories he helps produce through his company, Plan B. 2019 was something of a comeback year for Pitt as an actor with the insanely measured and controlled lead performance seen here in Ad Astra and the more charismatic and chaotic supporting role in Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood.

I love space movies, especially those that are more about broken people blasting themselves into the unknown to search for answers within themselves... which manages to sum up a lot of recent output in this weirdly specific sub-genre. First Man was a devastating look at grief characterised by a man who would rather go to a desolate rock than have to confront what he lost, all while being packaged as a heroic biopic with a stunning score. Gravity and The Martian both find their protagonists forced to rely on their own cunning and ingenuity to survive and Interstellar looked at the lengths we go to for those we love left behind. Smaller, arty character studies like High Life or Moon are also astounding. All of this is to say that Ad Astra takes these concepts and runs with them, challenging Pitt to cross the solar system to talk some sense into his long thought dead father (Tommy Lee Jones). But within all the ‘sad dad’ stuff, there’s another film in here just daring you to try and second guess it - one that kicks things off with a terrifying free fall from space, gives us a Mad Max style buggy chase on the moon and sidesteps into horror for one particular set-piece involving a rabid baboon in zero G! It manages to feel so completely nuts, so episodic in structure, that I understand why a lot of people were turned off - feeling that the overall film was too scattershot to land the drama or too pondering to have any fun with. I get the criticisms but for me, both elements worked in tandem, propelling Pitt on this (assumed) one way journey at a crazy pace whilst sitting back and languishing in the ‘bigger themes’ more associated with a Malik or Kubrick film. Something that Pitt can sell me on in his sleep by this point.

I loved the visuals from cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar), loved the imagination and flair of the script from director James Gray and Ethan Gross and loved the score by Max Richter (with Lorne Balfe and Nils Frahm) but most of all, loved Pitt, proving that sometimes a lot less, is a lot more. The sting of hearing the one thing he surely knew (but hoped he wouldn’t) be destined to hear from his absent father, acted almost entirely in his eyes during a third act confrontation, summed up the movie’s brilliance for me - so much so that I can forgive some of the more outlandish ‘Mr Hyde’ moments of this thing’s alter ego... like, say, riding a piece of damaged hull like a surfboard through a meteor debris field!

3. Avengers: Endgame

It’s no secret that I think Marvel, the MCU in particular, have been going from strength to strength in recent years, slowly but surely taking bigger risks with filmmakers (the bonkers Taika Waititi, the indie darlings of Ryan Coogler, Cate Shortland and Chloe Zhao) whilst also carefully crafting an entertaining, interconnected universe of characters and stories. But what is the point of building up any movie ‘universe’ if you’re not going to pay it off and Endgame is perhaps the strongest conclusion to eleven years of movie sequels that fans could have possibly hoped for.

Going into this thing, the hype was off the charts (and for good reason, with it now being the highest grossing film of all time) but I remember souring on the first entry of this two-parter, Infinity War, during the time between initial release and Endgame’s premiere. That film had a game-changing climax, killing off half the heroes (and indeed the universe’s population) and letting the credits role on the villain having achieved his ultimate goal. It was daring, especially for a mammoth summer blockbuster but obviously, we all knew the deaths would never be permanent, especially with so many already-announced sequels for now ‘dusted’ characters. However, it wasn’t just the feeling that everything would inevitably be alright in the end. For me, the characters themselves felt hugely under-serviced, with arguably the franchise’s main goody two shoes Captain America being little more than a beardy bloke who showed up to fight a little bit. Basically what I’m getting at is that I felt Endgame, perhaps emboldened by the giant runtime, managed to not only address these character slights but ALSO managed to deliver the most action packed, comic booky, ‘bashing your toys together’ final fight as well.

It’s a film of three parts, each pretty much broken up into one hour sections. There’s the genuinely new and interesting initial section following our heroes dealing with the fact that they lost... and it stuck. Thor angrily kills Thanos within the first fifteen minutes but it’s a meaningless action by this point - empty revenge. Cutting to five years later, we get to see how defeat has affected them, for better or worse, trying to come to terms with grief and acceptance. Cap tries to help the everyman, Black Widow is out leading an intergalactic mop up squad and Thor is wallowing in a depressive black hole. It’s a shocking and vibrantly compelling deconstruction of the whole superhero thing and it gives the actors some real meat to chew on, especially Robert Downy Jr here who goes from being utterly broken to fighting within himself to do the right thing despite now having a daughter he doesn’t want to lose too. Part two is the trip down memory lane, fan service-y time heist which is possibly the most fun section of any of these movies, paying tribute to the franchise’s past whilst teetering on a knife’s edge trying to pull off a genuine ‘mission impossible’. And then it explodes into the extended finale which pays everyone off, demonstrates some brilliantly imaginative action and sticks the landing better than it had any right to. In a year which saw the ending of a handful of massive geek properties, from Game of Thrones to Star Wars, it’s a miracle even one of them got it right at all. That Endgame managed to get it SO right is an extraordinary accomplishment and if anything, I think Marvel may have shot themselves in the foot as it’s hard to imagine anything they can give us in the future having the intense emotional weight and momentum of this huge finale.

2. Knives Out

Rian Johnson has been having a ball leaping into genre sandpits and stirring shit up, from his teen spin on noir in Brick to his quirky con man caper with The Brothers Bloom, his time travel thriller Looper and even his approach to the Star Wars mythos in The Last Jedi. Turning his attention to the relatively dead ‘whodunnit’ genre, Knives Out is a perfect example of how to celebrate everything that excites you about a genre whilst weaponizing it’s tropes against your audience’s baggage and preconceptions.

An impeccable cast have the time of their lives here, revelling in playing self obsessed narcissists who scramble to punt the blame around when the family’s patriarch, a successful crime novelist (Christopher Plummer), winds up dead. Of course there’s something fishy going on so Daniel Craig’s brilliantly dry southern detective Benoit Blanc is called in to investigate.There are plenty of standouts here, from Don Johnson’s ignorant alpha wannabe Richard to Michael Shannon’s ferocious eldest son Walt to Chris Evan’s sweater wearing jock Ransom, full of unchecked, white privilege swagger. But the surprise was the wholly sympathetic, meek, vomit prone Marta, played brilliantly by Ana de Armas, cast against her usual type of sultry bombshell (Knock Knock, Blade Runner 2049), to spearhead the biggest shake up of the genre conventions. To go into more detail would begin to tread into spoiler territory but by flipping the audience’s engagement with the detective, we’re suddenly on the receiving end of the scrutiny and the tension derived from this switcheroo is genius and opens up the second act of the story immensely.

The whole thing is so lovingly crafted and the script is one of the tightest I’ve seen in years. The amount of setup and payoff here is staggering and never not hugely satisfying, especially as it heads into it’s final stretch. It really gives you some hope that you could have such a dense, plotty, character driven idea for a story and that it could survive the transition from page to screen intact and for the finished product to work as well as it does. I really hope Johnson returns to tell another Benoit Blanc mystery and judging by the roaring box office success (currently over $200 million worldwide for a non IP original), I certainly believe he will.

1. Eighth Grade

My film of the year is another example of the power of cinema to put us in other people’s shoes and to discover the traits, fears, joys and insecurities that we all share irregardless. It may shock you to learn this but I have never been a 13 year old teenage girl trying to get by in the modern world of social media peer pressure and ‘influencer’ culture whilst crippled with personal anxiety. My school days almost literally could not have looked more different than this (less Instagram, more POGs) and yet, this is a film about struggling with oneself, with loneliness, with wanting more but not knowing how to get it without changing yourself and the careless way we treat those with our best interests at heart in our selfish attempt to impress peers and fit in. That is understandable. That is universal. And as I’m sure I’ve said a bunch of times in this list, movies that present the most specific worldview whilst tapping into universal themes are the ones that inevitably resonate the most.

Youtuber and comedian Bo Burnham has crafted an impeccable debut feature, somehow portraying a generation of teens at least a couple of generations below his own, with such laser focused insight and intimate detail. It’s no accident that this film has often been called a sort of social-horror, with cringe levels off the charts and recognisable trappings of anxiety and depression in every frame. The film’s style services this feeling at every turn, from it’s long takes and nauseous handheld camerawork to the sensory overload in it’s score (take a bow Anna Meredith) and the naturalistic performances from all involved. Burnham struck gold when he found Elsie Fisher, delivering the most painful and effortlessly real portrayal of a tweenager in crisis as Kayla. The way she glances around skittishly, the way she is completely lost in her phone, the way she talks, even the way she breathes all feeds into the illusion - the film is oftentimes less a studio style teen comedy and more a fly on the wall documentary.

This is a film that could have coasted on being a distant, social media based cousin to more standard fare like Sex Drive or Superbad or even Easy A but it goes much deeper, unafraid to let you lower your guard and suddenly hit you with the most terrifying scene of casually attempted sexual aggression or let you watch this pure, kindhearted girl falter and question herself in ways she shouldn’t even have to worry about. And at it’s core, there is another beautiful father/daughter relationship, with Josh Hamilton stuck on the outside looking in, desperate to help Kayla with every fibre of his being but knowing there are certain things she has to figure out for herself. It absolutely had me and their scene around a backyard campfire is one of the year’s most touching.

This is a truly remarkable film that I think everyone should seek out but I’m especially excited for all the actual teenage girls who will get to watch this and feel seen. This isn’t about the popular kid, it isn’t about the dork who hangs out with his or her own band of misfits. This is about the true loner, that person trying everything to get noticed and still ending up invisible, that person trying to connect through the most disconnected means there is - the internet - and everything that comes with it. Learning that the version of yourself you ‘portray’ on a Youtube channel may act like they have all the answers but if you’re kidding yourself then how do you grow?

When I saw this in the cinema, I watched a mother take her seat with her two daughters, aged probably at around nine and twelve. Possibly a touch young for this, I thought, and I admit I cringed a bit on their behalf during some very adult trailers but in the end, I’m glad their mum decided they were mature enough to see this because a) they had a total blast and b) life simply IS R rated for the most part, especially during our school years, and those girls being able to see someone like Kayla have her story told on the big screen felt like a huge win. I honestly can’t wait to see what Burnham or Fisher decide to do next. 2019 has absolutely been their year... and it’s been a hell of a year.

#top 20 #films of the year #films of 2019 #10-1 #toy story 4 #the nightingale #the irishman #the last black man in san francisco #little women #booksmart #ad astra #avengers endgame #knives out #eighth grade

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phoenix-downer · 6 years

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Sora and Xehanort: The True King vs. The Pretender to the Throne

Sora fighting Xehanort in Scala ad Caelum was kind of like watching a king reclaim his throne from a pretender who caused nothing but havoc in ruin in the king’s absence. Credit to @rapis-razuri for first making the connection and then telling me about it.

Let’s back up a bit first, though. Verum Rex, the video game featured in Toy Box, means True King in Latin.

And while yes, this is no doubt a reference to Versus XIII, I also want to consider the idea of true kings in the context of KH3.

Sora has his first confrontation with Xehanort in Toy Box (albeit Young Xehanort). The true king (Sora) goes up against the pretender (Xehanort), and Sora doesn’t even hesitate to attack him in a sequence that shows that no, Sora is not over what Xehanort tried to do to him in DDD...

...but unfortunately Xehanort manages to grab him...

...and casts him out/banishes him, i.e. throws him into the video game where the gigas are.

Fourth wall? What fourth wall?

But Sora fights his way out and makes his way back to his friends... much like how later in the game, he is cast out of the realm of the living...

...and then fights his way back to his friends and rescues them.

In San Fransokyo, Sora meets Xehanort again after he finds all his friends’ hearts... except Kairi’s.

Look how hostile he is right off the bat towards him:

He just glares at him even while Xehanort... tells the truth for once and warns him what’s going to happen to him?

Sora’s not having it though and is sure to sass him:

And Xehanort’s parting words are chilling:

And then Sora goes back to the Keyblade Graveyard and... well, we all know how things went from there.

Xehanort wants power, no matter what the cost... and he’ll sacrifice whatever it takes to get it. Including Kairi.

And by the time we get to Scala ad Caelum... there’s a marked change in Sora’s interactions with him. No more sass. No more discussion. Sora doesn’t take Xehanort’s BS at all.

Seriously, almost every time he looks at Xehanort, he’s glaring at him or regarding him with the contempt and disgust he deserves. This is the man who killed the girl he loves enough to become a Heartless for - and later on in this very game actually died for! - and it hits Sora where it hurts. Like a king losing his queen when the pretender tries to take over his throne, Kairi’s loss wounds Sora deeply.

And, of course... the game of chess isn’t over if the queen’s gone - the king must be captured for that to happen - but all the same, the king’s left a lot more vulnerable without her.

But, queen at his side or not, he still has to win and beat the guy who made his friends’ lives hell and has made his life hell, too.

His eyebrows are furrowed and he has his hand on his Keyblade, ready to fight:

Xehanort is dressed in goat/ram armor for one of the battles, and goats... well, they’re associated with the devil, among other things, so the parallel is very fitting here. Sora probably felt like he was fighting Satan at this point.

Shoutout to Donald for being equally disgusted/angry with him:

The sky starting to go dark reflects Sora’s mood pretty well here:

Sora just looks at him with utter loathing and disgust, which is such a huge change from his usual friendly/cheerful demeanor:

Even when he’s looking up at him it’s with his head pulled back to make himself look as big/tall as possible. In other words, he isn’t giving Xehanort any sort of deference because he never in a million years deserves it.

Donald and Goofy are equally pissed and it really shows:

Even when Sora’s surprised/unsure about what’s going on he’s still glaring and gritting his teeth:

And when Xehanort took Sora’s light, I’m pretty sure I gasped. Not just because I really liked Rage Form in this game and love any sort of exploration of Sora’s darkness, but because...

Well, Xehanort already took Sora’s light from him. Kairi. Kairi’s his light. This moment really drives that point home. Sora’s still feeling rage and fury and grief over her death, over losing her, and that comes out all at once and boy was it satisfying to wail on Xehanort like this:

Fight darkness with darkness!

Even when he’s desperate and about to die, he’s still just furious at Xehanort and that’s reflected in his demeanor:

And finally, FINALLY, he wins. Xehanort is no longer towering over him. They’re on equal footing now. Sora has dragged him off his high horse and defeated him. Not only that, he’s actually managed to get him to collapse to the ground when before Sora had collapsed to the ground over his grief at losing his friends and then his grief at Kairi’s death. But not here. He’s the one standing over Xehanort for once.

And he’s so tired and so done with him at this point and it was so satisfying to see someone call Xehanort out on his BS and for Xehanort to finally have to listen:

Sora demands to know what’s going to happen because he doesn’t want to hear any more lies, half-truths, or beating around the bush:

Side note: foreshadowing?

Sora, in a way, is the World’s hope, and he is likewise lost at the end of the game, and the camera very deliberately chooses to focus on him here...

But anyway, as the scene continues, you can still really just see his contempt and disgust with Xehanort. This is the part where he basically tells Xehanort he’s not cut out to be a true leader because he thinks he can control destiny, and his contempt for Xehanort just oozes off the screen. Bonus points for them having a discussion about destiny vs. free will, where Xehanort blathers on about dictating people’s fates for them while Sora comes down hard on the side of giving people free will even if no one can really control their own destiny:

I love Sora’s line here: “A real leader knows that destiny is beyond his control... and accepts that.”

He tells it like it is, not at all afraid to mince words. Because yeah, Xehanort doesn’t deserve to rule one single bit. And in doing so Sora proves he is the one who truly deserves to rule. What do you bet he will become the eventual ruler of... something, eventually. Kingdom Hearts, maybe?

This moment is like when the true king tells the pretender to get off his throne, an idea @rapis-razuri first proposed:

Yep, I’m definitely getting a “Get out of my kingdom and leave my people alone” vibe from this scene, even if Sora doesn’t know his true destiny yet. Foreshadowing? Especially when his shotlock in Second Form was called King of Hearts?

Probably. After Xehanort banished him and caused endless destruction and ruin, he’s casting Xehanort out and he’s going to make things right.

Goofy gets a moment to look disgusted, too:

And Xehanort tries to make a big show about how he’s handing over the χ-Blade because Sora did so well, blah blah blah, which... at least he acknowledges that Sora is the one who truly deserves this power?

Sora takes the χ-Blade from him:

And to Sora’s infinite credit, even though he has such a powerful weapon at his disposal, even though he could use it to summon the door and open Kingdom Hearts for himself and take full power of whatever lies beyond and be reborn as something greater than human and remake the World how he desires, if Xehanort’s reports in BBS are to be believed...

He doesn’t do that. He doesn’t want that power, and by doing so, shows he is truly worthy of it in a way that Xehanort never was or will be.

But Sora doesn’t take it for himself. He doesn’t because he despises the χ-Blade and what it represents, despises the fact that Xehanort murdered Kairi to create it, despises the fact that it was completed with her death and created by so much pain and suffering.

He could remake the World however he wishes and he chooses not to. He wants the old world back, flawed as it might be, because he wants to give people a chance. Wants to give them a choice.

And instead of trying to go it alone like Xehanort did, he calls on his friends to help him close whatever realm Xehanort opened up:

Then lifts the χ-Blade in the air...

And we get this shot. My friends are my power, indeed:

“Good riddance, I’m destroying this awful thing that represents everything I hate about what happened to Kairi plus all the crap Xehanort put my friends through, and I’m gonna do it with my bare hands.”

Must’ve been so satisfying for Sora to finally see that thing gone. In the next scene the worlds are safe, the χ-Blade is gone, and Kingdom Hearts has been sealed once more.

But even though he fought all night and it is now morning, the king isn’t through with his mission. There’s one last person he still has to save. His queen. And in sharp contrast to how he felt like he was worthless without his friends before, here he feels worthy enough to go after her alone. And he pulls it off and saves her, too.

And for my game, at least, I got this image of Sora sitting on a throne at the end.

Sora won. He might not be king yet, but he stopped Xehanort from becoming king and restored the worlds and rescued his friends and saved Kairi, and that’s what’s important for now. The rest can happen later. Nomura does like to play the long game, after all, and he’s been drawing Sora slouching around on thrones since... KH1 days?

And... until the next KH game... we’ll just have to wait and see how this theme will be further developed...

#kh3 spoilers #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #sora #xehanort #kairi #sokai #donald #goofy #kh analysis #kh meta #phoenix plays kh3 #long post #donald duck

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the-observant-frisbeetarian · 5 years

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Jealousy

By George deValier

Status: Never finished, 1 Chapter

WW2 AU. Insane Russian Commander Ivan Braginski is the terror of his battalion and his enemies alike. He controls the lives of thousands - but it is the memory of one that controls his own. Tie-in to ‘Lily of the Lamplight.’

WARNING: Although this story is part of the Veraverse, please be warned that it is very dark, potentially unsettling, and a very different type of 'love story’ to the others in the series. Warnings for the story include a rather creepy Ivan, age difference, violence, and dubious consent. Please do not read this expecting a fluffy romance – and if the previous themes bother you, then please do not read this at all. You do not need to read this story to understand 'Lily.’

Summer, 1943

The Russian Front

The noise from the wireless radio drifted into Ivan’s mind like droning, senseless whispers: futile and immaterial, lifeless and empty. Strange words in English he could barely understand; sentimental words in Russian he did not want to. Ivan wondered vaguely if he should turn it off, then wondered uncertainly if it mattered, then wondered angrily who had placed this whispering machine in his makeshift quarters to hum and drone and mock him with its bleak, cheerful, vacant lies. Ivan attempted to ignore it as he stared at the papers on the desk before him. The lying sighs from the radio bled into the senseless words on the page. These words were not for him to understand. Ivan was no man of words - he was a commander. He told men who to kill and how to bleed and where to die. He did not draw lines through letters - that was the business of lesser men. These words belonged to others. Belonged to men like…

“Eduard!” Ivan called the name lightly. Officers who shouted did so because they could not control their men; because they were not loved, feared, or honoured. Ivan had no need to shout. So why, now, was he was not being answered? “Eduard!” he called again. Where was his Estonian? Why did he not answer? The tent flap was open. Ivan frowned at the evasive words laughing up at him. His Estonian would understand these words. He would turn them around and put them in order and send them away somewhere they could not confuse and disturb and mock and laugh. But why was that radio still murmuring, still mindless and pointless and grating and endless and…

Jealousy. Was only through jealousy, Our hearts were broken

And angry words were spoken.

Now all I have is memory

To cherish so tenderly…

Ivan clenched his teeth and tasted blood. The chaotic, clamouring wireless whispers twisted into evil words, sung with a deceitful English voice, hammering into his skull and screaming at him accusingly and no, he did not need Eduard, he needed his Lithuanian, he needed… “Toris!” Ivan snapped his head to see the tent opening flapping in the wind. Flapping vacantly, incessantly… no one entering, and no one standing beyond… and why was there nothing but these words and this void and this noise, this ceaseless noise, these rough, shrill, mocking echoes merging with these empty, laughing words that would… not… stop…

Twas all over my jealousy,

My crime was my blind jealousy,

My heart was afire with desire for you

But I never thought that your love was true…

Ivan shook his head. He fought for breath. He felt it all diminish, and collapse, and cease. Then the world turned white; and Ivan remembered.

Autumn, 1930

Leningrad, Russia

Yao belonged to Ivan. He belonged to him from the very second Ivan first beheld him, on a freezing morning in late autumn, standing proud yet wary in the vast, bare, silent entrance hall of Ivan’s vast, bare, silent manor. His hair as long and black as midnight in winter; his eyes as dark and narrow as the slowly collapsing hallways of the crumbling Braginski mansion. So small, so fragile, like a frightened orphaned cub left alone and helpless in hunting season. They said he had come from China: he and his sister, the bland little girl who stood uncertainly in her lovely brother’s shadow. Both pretty teenagers who would work hard, require little, and most importantly, had no family to ask questions. Ivan’s blood burned through his veins, his breath hot and thick in his lungs. His back straightened; his chin rose; his eyes flashed as they drank in his dark, beautiful, proud little orphan cub. Ivan said the words aloud. “He’s mine.”

The boy’s eyes widened at that, fixed rigidly on Ivan’s own, sharp and alarmed. It was a look Ivan recognised - one he knew well. Fear. Ivan returned the stare evenly.

“Vanya, darling, we don’t own people. He is to be a servant, not a slave.”

Ivan ignored his older sister’s words. The boy was his. From that moment, Ivan knew. The boy was his, and always would be. “He is my servant, then. My private servant. No one else’s. Do you understand?” Ivan turned a dark glare on Katyusha. She nodded hastily and looked away.

“Why would you want him anyway, Vanya?” asked Natalia haughtily, sashaying too close to the Chinese siblings and inspecting them disdainfully. Her bright gold, jewelled gown clashed magnificently with the dark remnants of pre-revolutionary décor along the walls. The boy blinked carefully towards her as she smirked. “I doubt this little weakling will last the winter.”

Ivan smiled indulgently. “I will dress him in furs, and lay him before the fire, and he will survive because I wish it.”

Natalia laughed her high, cold laugh. “Like a little doll!” She ran a hand along the boy’s narrow shoulders, touched his hair airily. His delicate features furrowed, insulted and slightly angry.

“Yes,” said Ivan smoothly, his greedy gaze locked on the affronted boy, enjoying the collection of emotions that danced across his face. “My pretty little china doll.”

Natalia stood behind the boy, gently playing with his hair. She smirked again, staring at Ivan through those midnight black locks and her own lowered lashes. “But Vanya, you always broke our dolls, don’t you remember?”

“Natalia!” said Katyusha disapprovingly, warningly. “Leave the poor child alone.”

Natalia groaned, flicked the boy’s hair one last time, and pushed between the siblings, flourishing her wide skirts as she did. “Whine whine, moan moan, Katya. You do little else these days. And just what are you wearing, dear sister? You look like a housemaid. You should give that horrid dress to the little Chinese girl.” Natalia threw the girl a mocking glare. “Though I don’t think the poor thing could fill out the chest.”

Katyusha frowned reproachfully, twisting her hands nervously before her. “Talia, dear…”

“The girl will go to the kitchen,” Ivan interrupted. He had no time for his sisters’ inanity, or for the insignificant girl with the flower in her hair. “The boy stays with me.”

At those words the boy turned red, his hands clenched into fists, and he took a firm step forward. “My name is Yao. I am not a child, I am sixteen years old. And as the lady said earlier, neither am I a slave. My sister’s name is Mei. We are here to work. We expect to be paid, and we expect to be treated with respect.”

A brief silence followed the words, before Natalia broke into high peals of laughter. “Sixteen, Vanya! And the little doll speaks Russian! Is his accent not pretty?”

Ivan smiled in agreement. “Pretty.” As pretty as his soft, bow-shaped lips; as his brave, empty words. Yao’s bold gaze faltered as Ivan’s grew deeper. Immediately, the hall felt too crowded. Ivan wanted the others gone. “Go.”

Ivan merely spoke the order, but his sisters reacted immediately. Natalia rolled her eyes and swept from the room, glowering fiercely at Yao one last time. Katyusha looked concerned as she took the girl’s hand. The girl stared wide-eyed at her brother, clutched at his hands, cried frantic words Ivan did not understand. Yao responded reassuringly, smiled and nodded, even as Katyusha spoke kindly and led the girl from the room. Always kind, always fretful, always obedient Katyusha.

The vast hall fell finally silent, the last of Katyusha’s nonsense words fading to echoes against the barren stone. Yao took a few moments to turn slowly back. His hands were still in fists; his eyes still wary. Ivan took slow, deliberate steps through the heavy air to stand before him, over him, so close Ivan’s coat brushed the tips of Yao’s shoes. Yao did not back away.

“Yao.” Ivan said it slowly, savoured the feeling of the word on his lips for the first time. He liked it. Short and fleeting: a soft yet strong beginning yielding to a gentle, almost lingering finish.

“Mei… my sister…” Yao’s chest rose and fell, an evident attempt to grasp for control. Ivan smiled at the futile effort. “I promised her we would not be separated.”

Ivan lifted one shoulder in an indifferent shrug. “You should not make promises you cannot keep, Yao.” Yao placed a hand to his mouth briefly, as though he was holding something back. On some strange impulse - one Ivan did not recognise and did not understand - he continued to speak. “She will be looked after. Katya is often tending to strays.”

Yao creased his smooth brow, parted his lips, drew his arms to his chest. He did not respond, so Ivan let the silence fall between them. There was so much you could tell from someone through silence. Ivan was intrigued to watch Yao thinking, to see him trying to comprehend. It was enthralling: the boy’s initial look of fury, his desperate glance back at the front entrance, the final resigned understanding on his face. The first of the winter snowdrifts were building against the door. The lost little cub had nowhere else to go.

But silence could only tell so much. Ivan reached out a hand, rested it in the air by Yao’s pale cheek. He could sense the warmth pulsing through Yao’s veins. “Why are you here in Saint Petersburg, little Yao?”

Yao’s dark, thin eyebrows drew together. He seemed at a loss for what to say. “I thought this was the old name, Saint Petersburg. Is not the city now called Leningrad?”

The smile fell immediately from Ivan’s lips. His hand closed in a fist. His very bones seemed to seize, a furious surge of anger filling his chest. He refused to call his city by that name. He refused even to acknowledge that name. Ivan gritted his teeth as he asked again, loud and demanding. “Why are you here in Saint Petersburg, little Yao?”

Yao flinched, then quickly blinked it away. He hastened to answer. “The journey is not a tale worth telling. These are desperate times. Men will do what they must when they are desperate.”

Ivan laughed bitterly. He expected such words. “Desperate enough to serve the broken nobility of Russia.” Since the revolution, domestic servitude was an underground practice – never spoken openly, never revealed to the world. But the Braginski mansion was trapped in the days of the Tsars, darkly defiant of a changing country. Tradition still lingered in this place, faded and broken.

Yao stared up at Ivan with a look now less fearful, yet tinged with uncertainty. His pale cheeks were darker now, his chest still rising and falling in that vain attempt for control. “Why do you speak like this?”

Ivan paused at that. Those words he did not expect. His brief anger fell away, his hand falling to rest lightly on Yao’s slight shoulder. “My words upset you?”

Yao looked warily at Ivan’s hand, then back into his eyes. “They confuse me. There is something behind them.”

Yao’s eyes were like fire. They looked too closely; they pierced too deep. For the first time Ivan could remember, he felt unsettled. He tightened his grip on Yao’s shoulder in response. “And do you always speak so plainly, Yao? Do we not all hide behind our words?”

Yao took a sharp breath, but did not shrink from Ivan’s clenching hold. “Only when we have something to hide.” Such remarkable composure. Ivan wondered what it would take to break it. “Truth is told not in word, sir, but in action.”

Ivan was both fascinated and disturbed. This little stranger had angered him, unsettled him, enchanted and surprised him, all in mere minutes. Ivan refused to allow him such control. “From now on, Yao - whether through word or action - there is nothing you can hide from me.”

Yao’s response trailed into silence when Ivan leant down slowly, touched his lips to Yao’s temple, inhaled the smell of him. Something young like newly-picked oranges, yet old like deep-forested trees in winter. Ivan let out a breath like a growl, and heard Yao’s own breathing quicken in response. It made him smile. “Are you afraid of me, Yao?”

Yao’s words came slower when he answered. He again drew his arms to himself, and his burning brow was beaded with sweat. “I… do not know yet.”

Intriguing. Ivan drew back slightly. “Do you think I will hurt you?”

Yao turned his face to Ivan. This close, his cheeks were aflame; his lips humid; his eyes startlingly dark. Ivan could hardly distinguish the pupil from the ink pool around it. Yao replied with defiant honesty. “Yes.”

“No.” Ivan gently released his grasp on Yao’s shoulder, brushed Yao’s hair from his collar. These clothes were too thin and ugly. Ivan would replace them with garments as silken as these black locks. Ivan would brush his hair and stroke his skin and control his insolent, charming words. “No, I do not hurt my things, Yao.”

“Things?” Yao’s features immediately twisted. He blinked alertly, spoke angrily, as though broken from a trance. “Who are you to speak to me so? Who are you to say any of this to me? These words of yours go too far, sir. I am not a thing. I am most certainly not yours, and I…” Yao’s cheeks reddened as his speech tumbled from him, incensed and unchecked and useless. Ivan just smiled and ran his hand lightly down Yao’s arm. “I am here to work,” Yao continued, his voice rising apprehensively at the touch. “I do not know what sort of work you expect from me, but…”

Yao broke off with a gasp when Ivan abruptly gripped his wrist. Ivan tilted his head curiously, amusedly. Such pretty defiance. Such brave, angry words; so easily stifled. “No, Yao. You are not a thing.”

Yao’s dark eyes widened. Ivan could feel his blood throbbing beneath his skin. So thin; so breakable. Carefully yet firmly, Ivan took Yao’s fingers in his own and forced his clenched fist open. Yao parted his lips, but did not speak. Again he looked afraid, but this seemed a different fear than the last. Ivan pressed a kiss to Yao’s burning, open palm, keeping his eyes fixed on the unfathomable, inky darkness of Yao’s own. This defiance was nothing. Ivan had already decided: he wanted this boy. And Ivan always got what he wanted. “But you are mine.”

1943

The memory slowly faded; the world came back, harsh and white and obscure. The wireless whispers still droned, futile and senseless. Ivan drew a very slow, very deep breath of air into his lungs. Then, with a hot rush of fury and a sudden, almost unbidden twitch of his arm, Ivan snatched the radio from his desk and hurled it to the ground. It splintered and shattered, bleeding a last high-pitched whine before finally falling silent. Ivan stared at the lifeless, broken pieces, feeling only brief, hollow satisfaction.

“Polkovnik?”

The word was spoken carefully, barely more than a whisper. Ivan looked up sharply. His Lithuanian stood uncertainly in the tent entrance, clutching a folder to his chest, a familiar look of fearful apprehension on his pretty face.

“Toris.” Ivan lifted his chin and gestured for the private to join him. Toris hesitated before doing so. Another day Ivan might have punished him for such a hesitation. But this pounding rage still boiled his blood, that taunting song still rang in his head, and he needed explanation. “These words.” Ivan gestured over the maddening papers on his desk. “What do they mean?”

Toris glanced at the papers briefly before answering. “Kalova requires reinforcements, sir. The Germans are retreating, and HQ requests that you send a battalion to take the village.”

Ivan raised an eyebrow. “Kalova?” The hot fury began to cool. There would be time enough for that in battle. The blood and the fury; the bitter, roaring chaos of it. Ivan relished his time of deafening, silent madness. “The little fortified village in the forest.”

Toris nodded hastily. “A prison unit will take the Germans’ place – there is only believed to be fifty men or so. It could easily be taken with a company or two.”

Ivan felt he could breathe again, the white haze clearing from the room. War and battle and death - this he knew. This he could understand. “A prison unit? Intriguing. ”

“An easy defeat.” Toris did not sound like he believed his words. “Our presence will hardly be required.” Poor, lost Toris, who felt so strongly and worried so much.

“Perhaps not so easy. No, I think I will handle this personally.” Ivan adjusted his scarf, twisted his lips in a smile, and ran a hand down his Lithuanian’s cold, pale cheek. Toris did not react. Ivan’s Lithuanian was pretty, yes, but his eyes were too light and his defiance long vanquished. “Do not underestimate desperate men, Toris.”

Author’s Note: The rank of 'polkovnik’ is roughly equivalent to a colonel.

Disclaimer: This story belongs to George deValier. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing.

#veraverse #george devalier #jealousy

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rosecorcoranwrites · 5 years

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Movies and Plays as Audiovisual, Temporal Storytelling

Movies and plays are worth your while, and are a unique form of storytelling (Yes, that is almost exactly how I opened my last post; this is a series, after all!). Now, theoretically, I should talk about these two mediums separately, as they have some major differences. I could even do another post about TV shows as a sequential form of movies, but I think "serial storytelling" will have to be a topic for the far future. I believe, however, that these two mediums have much more in common than they have different.

Movies and plays—including musicals and TV shows as well—use semi-verbal, visual, temporal, and auditory storytelling.

Lights, Camera Angles, Action!

You'll recall that books are totally verbal, relying entirely on language to tell their stories. Movies and plays are semi-verbal. Most of them include dialogue, and some even have narration in the form of voice-over or a chorus. Though dialogue—often of the snappy variety—is an important part of many movies and plays, it is not a necessity. Silent short films can still tell stories, as can theatrical forms like ballet.

Movies and plays can get away with going light on dialogue because they rely heavily on visuals for their props, setting, costumes, and character actions. Just as an author chooses which words to use to convey a particular scene or feeling, moviemakers, playwrights, and directors—from henceforth grouped under the term "creators"—choose what objects will and won't be on stage or in frame. They can make the effects and set pieces realistic or stylized, and can choose to use colors, shapes, lighting, and other visual cues to convey messages to the audience without stating them verbally.

Blocking is a particular visual aspect of movies that books can't convey. Wether an actor is standing up or down-stage, in or out of focus, facing the audience or not can all be important parts of the story. Movies can also use reaction shots—that is, showing us a character's facial expression rather than what they are seeing—to build tension or evoke emotion. Technically, books can do something similar to this, by saying or showing how a character is feeling before telling/showing us what they're reacting to, but it's a bit different, largely because movie creators can hold on a shot for some time without needing to add new information in the form of words or description.

And this brings us to the next point: temporal storytelling. Plays and movies take a certain time to tell their story, whereas books take a specific number of words to tell theirs. These both pace the stories, but in different ways. A book might take a paragraph to tell all the important details of a room, while a movie can do this in a single shot. Creators can still choose to linger on objects, characters’ movements, and so forth in order to slow a scene down and give the audience time to process what's happening or, conversely, to build a sense of unease. While books, movies, and plays—all stories, really—are told in time (though not necessarily chronologically, as flashbacks and side stories exist), movies and plays can use time itself as a part of their storytelling process.

Music Speaks Louder Than Words

Finally, there is the audio aspect of movies and plays. Along with spoken dialogue, these mediums incorporate sound effects and music. Even silent films used music to evoke a mood for different scenarios, and many non-verbal cartoons utilize Mickey Mousing, or having the music match the movements of the characters—to play up the comedy of their stories. Foley artists, those behind-the-scenes folk who create sound effects for movies, are an important part of making movies seem real, or more-than-real, depending on the genre. Much like choosing what props to have on stage, creators choose what sounds should be included and what should be left out or muted.

Music (or the deliberate lack thereof, in some scenes) is my favorite part of movies, and is a big part of what makes them unique from books and comics. Obviously, music can set a tone, but in clever hands, it can do so much more. Characters or scenarios might be given a special theme, so that, even before they appear on screen, the audience knows to expect them. Themes can be used in call-backs, as when a certain song is played early in a movie and then brought back towards the ending. I especially love when the theme is changed in some way throughout the story.

The finest example of this, I think, are the songs in Les Miserables, particularly those of Javert and Valjean. "Valjean's Soliloquy", at the start of the play, and "Javert's Suicide", at the end, are the same tune and have similar lyrics, and are both a reaction to the character receiving an act of mercy. Both discuss how the character can no longer face the world as they once have. Valjean, however, uses this opportunity to turn his life around and become a better person; Javert rejects this mercy and throws his life away, refusing to live in a reality that doesn't fit with what he thought he knew. It's marvelous!

Promised Neverland does something interesting by taking a non-diegetic song (ie, mood music that is a part of the soundtrack) and showing us that it has diegetic origins (a character in the show wrote it, and other characters hum it). Once we realize where it came from, in the final episode of the show, it forces us to rethink why it's being used as the main theme of escape and hope, while other characters hum it during sorrowful circumstances. It evokes something beyond words that can't be described, but felt.

Even non-musical plays can use music like this. In Steel Magnolias, various songs play from a radio throughout the show, creating a mood but otherwise unimportant. It's also mentioned, off-handedly, that one of the characters likes the Hawaii 5-0 theme. In the final scene, where it's revealed that that character has died, there is no more music playing. The group of characters eventually come to terms with her death, realizing that life goes on but that they still want to keep her memory alive, and as the final moment of the play draws near, one of the characters hits the radio, and it comes back to life, playing the Hawaii 5-0 theme. As an audience member, I totally lost it at that point. I didn't even like that play that much, but when that song started playing, I burst out crying. Music is a powerful thing.

Humans and Emotions

You've probably noticed that I keep using the words "feel", "evoke", and other emotional phrases. Perhaps this is one reason why bookworms look down on movies, seeing them as long on feelings and short on substance. I think they are, in fact, long on both, but use their ability to elicit emotion—through visuals, timing, and audio cues—to underline their message and story. Just as books are the descendants of ancient songs and poems, movies and plays harken back to ancient forms of theater. The Greeks used tragedies specifically to give the audience a sense of catharsis as a way of dealing with and understanding emotion. Other theatrical forms—puppetry, kabuki and noh, ballet, and even rituals involving costumes and masks—are stylized in order to remove everything but the elemental aspects of the story they are telling. They are basic, but in a way that cuts to the heart of what it means to be human. Humans are verbal creatures, but we are also emotional in a way different from any other animal. We have archetypes, and symbols, and psychology, some of which can't quite be described in words and require us to see and hear and feel. And that is why movies and plays are unique and worthwhile.

And those, dear readers—and cinephiles, theater kids, and film buffs—are my thoughts on movies and plays.

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twilight-adamo · 5 years

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Author’s Notes: These Our Actors, Chapter 2: Rosalie

I meant to start getting in the habit of posting a link back to my work on AO3 with my author’s notes for Brave New World Chapter 1, but I plum forgot, so I’m starting that practice now:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429865/chapters/46781116

As I’ve said, this was a particularly difficult installment for me to write. To understand why, you need to understand my creative process. I tend to view writing as something of a dialogue between myself and my characters, particularly my protagonist. It’s not that I’m literally speaking with them - I speak of my characters as having minds of their own, and they do to an extent, but they’re not fully realized people. It’s more of a mental back and forth. I have an idea for a story, I begin writing, and then I just get a sort of sense that, oh, no, things actually happened this way, or that character felt this and said that at a given point. The characters tell me their own story, in a sense, once I’ve set the basic framework of the story.

Sometimes a character doesn’t want to talk to me, and I get stuck, and have to find a way to move forward. That wasn’t the problem with Rosalie.

Rosalie just had too damn much to say, and was quite picky with how I said it.

Am I entirely satisfied with the end product? No. Is the part of my brain that got into Rosalie’s frame of mind, the part of my brain that IS my version of Rosalie, entirely happy? Also no! But at a certain point you have to call the work done and put it out there, and after over a year of struggle, I was ready to get the blasted thing out of my head.

Looking at the revision history, I see that I spent a lot more time actively working on it, with fewer breaks, than I did working on Brave New World Chapter 1. I did take a six-month break from September to March, and then another extended break from March until June and July. I wasn’t doing a lot of writing at all in those periods due to the major stressor I mentioned before, a troubled organization I got involved with last fall which ate up a huge amount of my energy and mental bandwidth. Only since resigning my position with that organization and taking a step back have I found myself able to write again.

I did have a fairly complete version of this installment last year, but I’d had so much trouble writing it that I felt I needed a few extra pairs of eyes on it. I’m part of a small local writers’ group that meets every other week to share and discuss our fiction. Mostly I show them my original work, but they had seen some of my fan work before, including pieces of Out of the Blue (my Little Mermaid/Wonder Woman crossover) and a Power Rangers fic I have not yet begun to publish. Only a couple of them had read Twilight and none, as far as I know, had read As Dreams Are Made On, but I felt their general feedback might help me figure out what I was still missing.

A lot, as it turned out. In the draft I submitted to the group, there were no flashbacks to Rosalie’s developing relationship with Bella. The story focused entirely on Rosalie talking about Vera, intercut with scenes of her vigil at Bella’s bedside in Denali. I made mention of Rosalie and Vera’s little blood sister ritual, but didn’t show it; and in fact the blood sister scene and the observatory scene were a single scene, when they were about ten years old, and Edward wasn’t present. (Edward was, in fact, a very late addition to the observatory scene.)

The group felt that the story might be better served with more emphasis on Rosalie’s memories, and less on what was happening in Denali. They also felt that they didn’t entirely understand the depth of Rosalie’s feelings for Bella, and would like to see how they had become close. There were other more specific criticisms and suggestions, but those were the main issues.

So I went back to the drawing board. Even though none of the These Our Actors installments are meant to stand on their own - they all depend upon As Dreams Are Made On (and will eventually depend on Brave New World) for context - I had to admit we had only seen Rosalie’s relationship with Bella from Bella’s side, and I wasn’t entirely sure I’d sold it. I wanted to get her perspective on things. As always, she had almost too much to say.

The revision that followed involved a lot of agonizing. A lot of hair-pulling. This is probably the most technically complex story I’ve written in a while. I tried to keep the order of events consistent, always shuttling between time periods in the same order - present-day, Vera flashback, Bella flashback. I wrote the flashbacks as Rosalie telling the story, and the present-day scenes as an inner monologue. I added dates and places to try and ease confusion. Edward turned up - he was originally mentioned, but not shown - and while I didn’t feel he really fit, he came off as a decent character and I’m trying to write him sympathetically so I let him stay. I found I wanted to include discussion of Rosalie’s power, something I couldn’t really fit into Brave New World right upfront, and again it didn’t really fit but I tried to make it work.

Did I succeed? I don’t know. The initial feedback I’ve gotten is that the story is still confusing in parts. But people seem to be responding well to at least one of the parts I’m proudest of, and perhaps that’s the most I can ask.

The scene in question - Rosalie visiting Vera near the end of her life - hasn’t changed much from the first draft, if at all. I wanted to bring closure to Vera’s story, beyond the night of Rosalie’s death. I found it hard to believe she would never look in on her best friend, her surrogate sister. And, well, I guess Alzheimer’s and dementia are becoming something of a theme in my work, and writing Vera as suffering dementia toward the end of her life gave Rosalie another point in common with Bella.

As this story has evolved, I have deliberately started divorcing Bella’s story from my own. When I started writing, she was a straightforward self-insert, and the only question the story asked was “what if I found myself dumped into the story, in Bella Swan’s body and role?” But as this has changed, I’ve been trying to see less of myself in Bella, to make her more of her own person. She still has some things in common with me; one of those is that my mother died, far too young, from early onset Alzheimer’s, or as near to it as to make no difference. We never got a definitive, final diagnosis, but I watched her lose her mind, go from a force of nature to a barely verbal shell, from an independent person to someone who needed full-time care, who drifted in time and place, and who ultimately lapsed into a coma and died.

It was agonizing. And among my many regrets is the fact that I didn’t get to have an exchange like the one Rosalie gets with Vera. I didn’t get to have that final moment where she recognized me, and we talked, and I got to say goodbye. I didn’t realize that I’d had my last remotely lucid conversation with her until it was already over and gone.

So it’s a little bit of bittersweet wish fulfillment, perhaps, and a road into Rosalie’s head that I didn’t have before I conceived and wrote it. I am glad that at least some people have found it moving.

On to other matters.

The story centers on two poems. “The Old Astronomer” - one of my favorites - was part of it from the beginning, and seemed like a piece that both Rosalie and Bella would find moving for their own reasons. Canonically Rosalie did study astrophysics at one point, and Bella (again, like me) has always loved the stars. “Autumn Chant” came later, but when I heard it for the first time, especially that final stanza, it seemed so very fitting, and it gave me some ideas for Rosalie’s unique qualities.

Even in the actual Twilight books, Rosalie seems to have a uniquely sharp recollection of her human life, compared to other vampires. I knew early on that I was going to give her a power, and I wanted it to be more complicated than “supernatural beauty,” so ultimately I decided to bring her supernatural charisma together with her unusually good memory and create a new power: a supernaturally resilient self-image, one that allows her to protect her memories and sense of self from outside influence, and even project her self-image onto others. She sees herself as uniquely beautiful, she was raised to believe first and foremost in her own beauty, so others still see her that way too. (Rosalie is naturally lovely, of course, but her power gives it a little extra oomph.) How will that power change as Rosalie begins to master it and Bella helps it along with her own ability? What relevance will this have to the plot? I can only say that time will tell. But it was important, I felt, to get it down. I’ll have to find some way to work the explanation into the main story as things go forward, of course.

Overall, I sincerely hope you enjoyed most of Rosalie’s story. It’s not perfect - I don’t know if I can ever make it perfect, even if I do eventually loop back around to making an author’s preferred text out of all the Tempestverse stuff - but I hope there’s more good than bad. I have much more straightforward ideas for Callie, Angela and/or Edward, and Jasper and/or Jessamine cooking on the back burner, so we’ll see who ends up getting to go next.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight fanfic #twilight au #bellice #the tempest trilogy #the tempestverse #rosalie #these our actors

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