#i did go to customer service and tell them what happened btw

[ingravinoveritas]

(CW: Harassment, stalking.) I went to the grocery store this afternoon and moments after I set foot in the door, this guy started talking to me. I didn't even realize he was talking to me at first, because he was muttering something about the bus kicking him off and that he didn't know what to do. He then asked me to call him an Uber to New York, even as I was walking quickly to the produce area, and I soon realized that he was matching my pace to keep up with me. He fucking followed me from one side of the store all the way to produce, and perhaps the creepiest thing of all was that he was laughing as he followed me--this awkward, weird laugh, as if this was all supposed to be hilarious.

I literally had to say "Please do NOT follow me!" loudly to get him to stop. But what if he hadn't? He could have had a gun, or a knife, or who knows what, and I feel like I only got lucky that me saying that got him to stop. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with men to think that it's okay to follow a woman (or anyone) like this, but it was incredibly upsetting and I am still shaken up/pissed off from the whole thing...

[kafus]

You mentioned making proper genned event pokemon, but what does that entail?

depends on the event in question!

back in the day during gens 3 and 4, IRL event distributions were often handled by running a custom GBA cart with the event distribution software and hooking up to other GBAs via link cable or with the wireless adapter, or a custom DS cart that took advantage of the DS' innate wireless compatibilities. obviously all of these carts were meant to be sent back to nintendo or get destroyed, but that... just did not happen to all of them lol. (there are also a few local distribution softwares for 3DS and stuff but wayyy less common)

you can actually buy gen 4 distribution carts for an excessive amount of money, though i can't in good conscience recommend looking for gen 3 distribution carts, they're INCREDIBLY rare and most of the listings you'll find for them on ebay are 100% fake and are scamming you out of hundreds of dollars, and most people don't know how to tell the difference unfortunately.

that being said, i'm not recommending you buy these at all actually, because most of the ones in physical circulation have been dumped online and can be downloaded. the digiex forums contains them, and you can download these and run them on actual hardware and roleplay being the toys r us/gamestop/etc employee and distribute to themself just like how it would have happened back at the time of the event lmao. for the DS ones it's easy with a hacked 3DS and twilight menu, but for GBA you'd need a GBA flashcart and the associated link cable/wireless adapters + two GBAs. this can also be done on emulators with support for local connection between two windows and has the same exact effect as doing it with real hardware, it just feels cool to do it with real hardware (pictured below is an ancient video i took of me distributing 2005 Aura Mew to myself with the actual software made by nintendo, running off a flashcart. i took this years ago and the quality is ass and my positioning is awkward sorry lol. my room doesn't even look the same...)

as for events without distribution software, old gen ones have the DNS exploit, which you can find simple instructions for here. this is much easier with gen 5 than gen 4 - you can find gen 4 help i wrote here. these restore all online functionality in the old games, including mystery gift - trying to grab a mystery gift from the internet will allow you to download pretty much any event in the game (though the one it gives you is random and you'd have to try over and over to get the ones you want). the data of these events is 100% identical to how the events actually were at the time of distribution, like completely indistinguishable, so it's a safe way to get those mons to bank and home, though you may want to change your DS date to the same date as the event in question so it doesn't look weird.

as for 3DS there is no fancy stuff like the above, you'll just want to go to project pokemon's public event gallery and browse for what you're looking for, which also provides a link to instructions for injecting these in your games. it's worth noting you can also inject all the gen 3-5 events that have been documented/archived this way, it's just less interesting than the above methods imo. this is probably the least legitimate feeling option but the data is still identical and well. other than elaborate glitches or something that's the best its gonna get. it's likely once 3DS servers shut down next year that eventually a DNS exploit-adjacent service will pop up for gen 6 and 7...

btw worth noting that gen 4 is the only gen where the name rater literally only checks for TID and doesn't even consider the "fateful encounter" flag that event pokemon are usually given, so you can RNG manip a matching trainer ID and then nickname event mons you aren't supposed to be able to nickname fully within the limits of the original game and hardware LOL. that isn't related to your question i just think it's funny that you can do that and it's technically completely legit

anyway sorry for the long ass answer i just find mystery gifts fascinating and it deserved me being a little more comprehensive

edit: oh yes and there's certain event mons that are still able to be obtained without all this wacky stuff, ie the pokemon colosseum bonus disc gives out infinite jirachis and they just released that as a preorder bonus back then. so worth looking at options for distributions like that too if you need a species of mythical or whatever!

[firesnap]

Hey friends. Lovejoy story time.

So like a lot of people I tried to get Lovejoy tickets last week. The original plan was to try and get tickets to a show with @geoguessbur and be hot messes together. The show we wanted sold out and we weren't able to get two tickets. Dejected, annoyed, depressed I sat refreshing Lovejoy's ticketmaster page. And success! The buy option appeared! I got tickets!

Now the observant person will notice that's... That's for the show that was announced today. That's the show that just sold out as I was writing this post.

I did not time travel.

Ticketmaster fucked up and listed the show for about 10 minutes last week. But they listed it as sold out. I had the window open because Mia and I were like "what is that? An unannounced show?" and were talking about it. I refreshed and, for one minute, ticketmaster accidentally sold tickets to it.

I bought two. The listing disappeared on ticketmaster. The Bowery Ballroom briefly had them on their calendar and THAT disappeared. I navigate through Ticketmaster's horrible customer service and keep getting variations of "the tickets are in your digital wallet why are you asking us if they're real." I email the venue. I email booking people. I want to book travel stuff but am terrified.

(Eventually someone from ticketmaster figures out why I keep asking if the show is real and assures me the tickets aren't getting refunded and the event organizers are assuring the show is happening.)

But still. I've sat on this. For a week. Knowing there was another show and waiting. Afraid to book travel because of anxiety and just wanting to be sure. And now I can tell you!

Mia isn't going with me btw. She dumped me but a special guest star is coming in to use the second ticket.

[stanchonkyman]

Hey, I have a request. Can you do something like where the reader is on their time of the month and is out doing things and comes back home crying because someone yelled at them and Stan comforts them. I appreciate it and take your time! Thank you! Love your five btw 10/10

☆Rough Day☆

♡Stanley Pines x Female! Reader♡

Thank you, anon!! :)

-•☆~~~~☆•-

You worked at a local grocery store in Gravity Falls and today was an absolute drag. As, you were on your period and it was taking a lot of your energy with it. You sighed softly as you wrung up your last customer of the day. "Alright.. your total with be 30.56." You say. They hand your their card and you swipe it. "Have a good day." You say, handing the card back as you stood up. "You too." The customer says as they walked out. You nod, turning off your service light and heading for the back room.

As you head into the room to grab your coat and things, your boss taps your shoulder. "Hey (Y/N)? Are you alright? You seem drained." He told you. You nodded softly. "Yes, I'm fine just tired. I'm going to head home to Stan." You told him, putting your coat on and throwing your bag over your shoulder. "Stan. Is he the one stealing your energy?" You quirked an eyebrow. "Pardon me?" You weren't sure if you had heard him correctly. "I asked if Stan was the one draining your energy." He repeated. You blinked, your heart dropping into your stomach. "..What do you mean by that?"

"Well.. you know. Stan can be quite odd.. and mean. I just want to make sure you're okay." He said. You shook you head. "Please. Stan might have an angry face, but behind closed doors, he's a nice man." You say. "I dont know about that, (Y/N). You're getting rather defensive." This made your blood boil. "Please stop speaking so harshly about my partner. That's very rude of you to assume things. Especially about a workers personal life. Good day." You quickly head right back out the door. Today had been stressful enough. You didn't need anything else on your plate.

Through the doors and into the parking lot, you make your way to your car. On your way home. You're finally on your way home. You'll finally be able to relax. You slipped into the drivers seat and put on your seat belt. You put the key in and turned on the car, setting your foot on the break, and shifting into reverse. You pulled out and then headed down the road. You turned on some soothing tunes for the ride.

Everything was going okay and you were calming down, up until you saw sirens behind you. "Oh gosh.." you sighed, turning your music down and pulling to the side of the road. The cop car pulled up behind you. You rolled your window down as Officers Blubs and Durland walked by your window, looking in at you. "Mrs Pines, what a surprise." Blubs said. You sunk into your seat shyly. "Yeah... its me.. Did I do something wrong?.." you ask. Durland stepped forward. "You were speeding! Do you know how dangerous that is?" He set his hands on his hips as he gave you an angry look.

You bite your lip, fighting back tears already. "I'm sorry- I must not have noticed. Today has been a really rough day." You mutter. Durlands look softened as he straightened his posture again. Him and Blubs talked quietly and then nodded. "Alright, Mrs Pines. We'll let you off with a warning. Get home safe." Blubs told you, then they both headed back to their car, and drove off ahead of you. You sighed softly, rolling your window back up. Your eyes still teared as you pulled off into the road to head back home.

You pulled your car in next to Stans and you got out, heading inside with a light sniffle. You walked passed Stan who was lounging on his chair, watching some sappy movie. He really had a soft spot. You walked passed him, to head up the stairs but he uttered a loud 'ahem'. Causing you to look over your shoulder at him. "Hey toots. You didnt even say hello. What's wrong with ya?" He questioned. "You seem upset." He added. You gave a small nod as you went toward him. "Hello Stan.. I'm sorry. Today was just a rough day."

He frowned softly, his eyes wandering to the calendar on the wall. A realization hit him. "Is it that time?" He asked. You gave a small nod. Stan frowned softly. "Dont ya worry, kid. I've got you. We'll have you feel better in no time at all." He hooked an arm under your leg and wrapped one around your back as he stood up. You leaned your head against him as he carried you up the stairs. You honestly werent sure what you would do without Stan..

He carried you up to bed and laid you down, resting your head on the pillows carefully. "Give me a moment." He told you, giving you a brief kiss on the forehead before he disappeared back into the house. It took a few moments before Stan came back with a heating pad. He turned it on and rested it on your lower belly. "Here we go.. this should help with your cramps, right?" He looked at you. "Yes.. thank you so much, hun.." You smile toward him. He smiles right back st you. "Dont thank me yet. We're not done here."

He grabbed you a fresh pair of pajamas. "Arms up." He commanded. You did as you were told. He lifted your shirt up off your head and replaced it with the comfy pajama shirt. Same thing with your pants. Once you were in your comfy clothing, he slipped into bed next to you. You rested your head against him as he pulled the blanket over the both of you. "So, tell me. What happened today?" He asked, wrapping his arms around you softly, rubbing your back. You sighed softly in relief.

"Well, you know work. It's almost never fun. Had a few rude customers, but nothing too major.. But when I went to leave my boss accused you of draining my energy. I know it could have been playful, but it still hurt.. and then when I was driving back here, I ended up getting pulled over speeding. Thank God they let me off with a warning." You explaining softly. Stan gave soft nods as you spoke. "Gee, kid. I'm sorry all that happened to you. At least it's all over now. You're safe at home. You can relax now."

You smiled softly toward him. "Thank you." You pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. He smiled back to you. "Of course." He pressed little kisses to both of your cheeks, forehead, and the bridge of your nose. "Just get some rest, love. Everything will be fine. And I'm right here if you need me at any point." He told you. You nodded. "I love you so much." You laid your hand on his, and he connected his fingers with yours, gently holding your hand. "I love ya too. So much." He gave you a small peck to your lips. "Everythings going to be okay."

[thirsthourdemon]

Headcanon on their online platforms but mainly on Twitch, onlyfans stuff, patreon, tumblr

Includes: Demon bros + undateablesss

Genre: Crack, Fluff and slight smut

Warnings: NSFW mentions

||Lucifer

-He didn’t have a big online presence because he was active, no no

-He had an online presence cause everyone always sees him on Diavolo s pictures and such so for a time they shared an audience

-One time Diavolo and Barbatos were doing a thing where they read a book aloud for some sort of game

-Diavolo kind of recorded that for a little bit

-ASMR I TELL YOU

-People liked it so much they suggested for “the one with the deep cold voice”, luci, to do asmr on youtube or something

-He doesn’t know what an Onlyfans is however he does have a patreon.

-Diavolo was interested in the idea and discussed it with him

-HE BLEW UP CAUSE EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT OVER HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS OF COURSE! 😡

-His fandom consists of either people who are interested in what he reads or...Horny people who get off at how proper and low his voice is

-His profile picture is a picture of him with his head cropped out where he’s fixing his gloves

-Luci isnt like super famous but he has a loyal fanbase that appreciates him a lot also lots of simps with daddy issues

-He was confused as to why someone would ask him to be their father

-He gets the daddy kink but why???

-Last post: A picture MC took where he’s holding a whip cause mammon fucked something up 🙂

||Mammon

-Bold of us to assume he didn’t already have one

-You already know why he’s on here.

-He has random content but he mainly got his audience since he kind of tried modeling thing for a while. It was for a big brand on their new jock type jackets

-Mammon really wanted cash at that time and he got the thing over and done with making him a couple more grims richer

-The photographers told him they could transfer the pictures though! So he just saved his pictures because “Who wouldn’t want a picture of THE mammon?”

-That gave him the idea

-His audience? Whoreknee

-They even accept the fact that his captions for some pictures are “You should be honored you get pictures of me”

-He posts that with a blushing face half of the time HAHAHAHA

-Levi found it and just laughed at the pictures

-Surprisingly enough the pictures were actually well taken because MC was forced into em

-His most popular picture was the one with him was actually a picture that the brothers took of him tucking in what appeared to be goldie on a seperate MINI BED WITH A SMALL TOY LAMP BESIDE IT

-He did a QnA for his followers to celebrate on his instagram

-PFFTT He got so many questions about Goldie

-Was dubbed “Goldie’s Daddy” after that

-Last post: A picture of him wearing the new Luxury brand jacket he got and his keys in front of his car with the caption “Daddy’s going for a ride”

||Leviathan

-I’ve always head canon that Levi knows how to draw digital emotes. Like he just picked it up cause he wanted to make fanart of him in henry together 😔

-Also has a red bubble or an etsy where he sells some prints and stickers of fanart 👀

-He went on twitch since there were so many TSL streamers there who just played games while they discussed theories as well

-Levi is an emote artist and while he draws he sometimes just discusses the theories with his fellow Yucky Otakus

-He’s the type to really interact with everyone even though he barely does that in real life

-Sometimes though when he gets packages that fans sent or ones that he ordered he’d stream unboxing them.

-He hates showing his face? Oh dont worry He’s wearing a facemask and all that

-His fandom is genuinely into him. Like they actually like him as a person but kinda once got into a scandal on gatekeeping

-He took a break for a bit but he kind of said sorry and everyone just forgave him because he isn’t really the type to do drama and it was just that one instance-

-Overall loved by the community due to how chill he is and how invested he is on fan theories

-He has a twitter btw and lemme tell you it’s just threads and threads of discussions

-Whenever he does stream unboxing videos though and he shows his shelves everyone freaks out how he has EVERY FUCKING VOLUME OF EVERY ANIME AND GAME

-People sometimes ask him personal questions and he tries his best to try to answer them but he shows a face where he looks uncomfy

-Everyone just bullies anyone who makes him uncomfy giving his fanbase a very protective reputation

-Last post: “Unboxing fanmail L8er @ 10pm LOL CYA GUYS XD”

||Satan

-He has a tumblr. You cant tell me he doesn’t have one.

-He had tumblr like back in the old day though like when porn was still available here.

-Get this...He’s known all through out the academia blogs. He INVENTED Academia

-Satan has 1 blog and that’s it. It’s his main blog and he just posts pictures of the book cover and does essays, reviews or sometimes he writes the ending he wanted to happen.

-Dont get me wrong he has a patreon but only because people loved getting more exclusive takes of stuff like his book notes on certain pages or sometimes his notes and thoughts on Artistic Erotica

-Probably has a Ko-Fi because he though he needed it after most of the blogs he followed had it

-He thinks it should be “Table of Content” and not “Masterlist” so he uses just that

-Profile picture is him wearing his signature washed out green grandma sweater while he has a book in hand and a cup of earl grey on his table

-People go to him falling in love with his aesthetic and Book reviews but they stay in love with him because he is big on one on one discussions actually

-He goes for one on one voice calls where he just...He talks to you about any book of your choosing

-Fans send him tea but he knows better than to eat something a stranger gives so he makes beel take a taste first sometimes but ultimately scolds the boy when he takes too much

-He wasn’t supposed to have merch but everyone liked the idea of small packages (More like letters) that really do look old and vintage

-He usually only give those to the people who pay for the top tier stuff

-It usually contains 1 type of tea, a letter he wrote for them himself and a bookmark with his name stamped on it

-He got the stamp custom made ❤️

-Last post: (Insert 5k word essay)

This is what I thought of Edgar Allan Poe’s “A cask of Amatillado”

Playlist: (Insert soft classic Music playlist on Spotify)

Tea: Black Currant

||Asmodeus

-ONLY FANS THROUGH AND THROUGH

-Is a brand influencer as well

-The brand ambassador of this pretty well known semi-luxury skin care brand

-His devilgram? Perfectly made by his PR team which is just him and solomon

-Before I move onto the NSFW stuff I want to emphasize how Beautiful his instagram is and his aesthetic

-His aesthetic is romantic/sexual tension/Unparalleled beauty

-Also a make up brand influencer and has his own make up line

-something along the lines of “The Devil’s box of charms 🖤”

-The type to DG live whenever he’s just showing off the make up look he did or the outfit he got

-The house of lamentation may have PR packages stacking up due to how most of them have an online influence but out of 10 boxes 7 of them would be for Asmo

-OKAY NOW ONTO NSFW STUFF

-Lemme tell you this...He has a specific drawer and space in his closet just for the sexy outfits he has.

-The demon’s onlyfans has pictures of him just teasing his audience where he’s wearing a black skintight get up and his bulge is showing

-Nudes are for mid and top tiers

-His fandom loves seeing in stocking and chokers

-“The choker is from etsy and here’s the link to their shop~”

-He doesnt completely show his body but...Him in suggestive clothing gets everyone pre cumming

-His fandom is just filled with simps 😔

-He loves them and blows a kiss towards the camera everytime he ends a live

-Probably has had a scandal or 4

-Posted an Ahegao once and everyone lost it

-Has been the face for Ahegaos ever since

-Belle delphine who?

-Definitely tik tok famous too 😎

-Has memorized all of Doja Cat’s songs

-Last post: “Hope you guys are ready for tonight’s session~ 😈” With a picture of him in an Fuchsia and black themed lingerie set. A collar with a bell on it.

-Bonus: One time Solomon summoned him while he was taking pictures and he was still in his lingerie set. 😛

||Beelzebub

-Was originally inspired by Mukbangs Channels so he did them on youtube too

-You get his Mukbangs on your recommended, You subscribe because of his cute and funny reactions whenever someone in the backgrounds is astounded to how much he’s eating

-Everyone knew beel as a cute guy who just does Mukbangs and loves to eat

-He once did a fridge raid and ended up eating everything in the fridge

-That was THE MOST CHAOTIC VIDEO on his channel cause you can just see luci and MC trying to make him stop

-He eventually got a patreon because mammon told him people will give him more money for food like that and to be honest he made a patreon but mammon takes care of it from time to time

-Oh you knew him as this sweet beautiful boy who just likes eating? hERe HavE sOmE WorKOUt pICs

-His body got everyone thirsty or may I say Starving

-S I M P S everywhere

-His patreon content is just him making small videos eating or pictures of him being all sweaty from the gym 😛💦

-“DADDY BWDONMXMSKC PLEASE FEED US”

-“Eh? You should feed me instead” *opens his mouth*

-Fans send him lots of boxes of weird food to see his reaction sometimes

-Did the fire noodle challenge a bit late but everyone is surprised to how he isn’t giving the reaction like they expected him

-Spice tolerance? Unmatched

-His fandom is either “UwU Beel please eat try this!” Or “Daddy Please FEED US WITH YOUR DELICIOUS THIGHS! 😩🥵💦💦💦”

-He does the service where he sends you his body building pictures except he isn’t sending them, Mammon is.

-Manager Mammon 😎 Gets a half of the profit

-Can I just...BeelProbablyHasnevergottenintoanyscandalbuthasalotofhaterssayingthefansonlylikehimforhishandsomefaceandgreatbodyandnicevoicebutlikewhatiswrongwithlikinghimbecauseofthosethings?Itisntbadtolikethatstuffatall

-Last post: “🍙 Thank you to @(Your Username) for the Onigiri! I finished the whole batch! Please send more food”

||Belphegor

-Sleep Guru

-Im sorry but I cant see him having any other social media aside from tumblr, twitter and Devilgram

-Belphie barely checks his phone but he has tumblr because apparently there’s a thing called the SandMan’s Box Community

-It’s like LootCrate, a subscription service that gives you stuff like Comfy Pillow sheets and tea for better sleeping

-This even gives you something like sleeping masks or ear muffs.

-The community is well...nocturnal

-His ask box is always full of his 100+ mutuals who just discuss stuff with him

-Whenever he actually does try to type online he makes articles about the best sleep positions or stuff like that

-His fandom is just loving mutuals who sleep and take care of each other

-They have a discord server where it just plays soft music to help everyone sleep

-Last post: “Humans aren’t so bad when they’re asleep”

||Luke and Simeon

-He has a big following on twitch where he just bakes sweets in his cute little hat and-

-Clearly you can tell I follow him on twitch

-The type of twitch streamer that no one hates on because why would you? He is literally just baking and cute comments

-Sometimes he streams with Simeon and everyone loves both of them

-When people give money they dont give “money” no no...they call donating headpats

-Luke is just so adorable that everyone just...

-“Angel Lulu’s Protection Squad⭐️”

-He got famous when he...He doesnt want to call it a collab but He made a lot of sweets and gave them to beel so everyone freaked out and thought

-THE SWEET BOY THAT EATS A LOT AND THE ANGELIC CHILD THAT MAKES SWEETS A LOT ARE FRIENDS?!

-He is now pissed that everyone thinks they’re friends 😠

-Basically his fans started making dishes and candy inspired by him

-Sometimes they send it in and Simeon has to confiscate some because

-“Im sorry, guys. You are all really sweet and I know that you mean well but Luke isn’t allowed much sweets yet”

-No one ever EVER lewds luke

-Fortunately Luke’s fandom has the least amount of pedophiles because everyone drives them away the moment they try something

-Whenever luke does fan mail/unboxing videos people just adore how Simeon places a glass of water at the table below the camera and the scissors or cutter he uses is child proof

-Even though Luke is the main person on his account everyone also notices Simeon.

-How couldn’t they? He looked like he wanted to make everyone in the audience live a better life

-Add that with luke’s wholesome baking and BOOM! You are now ready for a better life🌟

-Last post: It’s a picture of Luke shyly showing of his new batch of sun and moon shaped sugar cookies. “Sun and Moon. Tune in later at 3 pm to see how we made these!”

||Solomon

-He barely posts but he helps asmodeus with his stuff

-Too busy with anything else but helps out when things get interesting

-Proposes Ideas for Asmo sometimes when the demon doesn’t know what to wear for a live or a story

-Laughs at Asmo sometimes when he gets into scandals and drama

-Happy cameraman ❤️

-People follow him because 1.) He’s hot 2.) The fans ship him with Asmodeus

-Last Post: “When will you learn 🙂”

||Diavolo

-He is a vlogger~ Not a very active vlogger but a vlogger nonetheless

-He films anything he can but he’s more known on tik tok and devilgram rather than twitch or youtube

-People have been thirsting for him ever since and no one can convince me that they dont just shamelessly call him daddy whenever he goes on live

-Barbatos makes sure however that whenever it isnt appropriate anymore that he would tell diavolo to turn the camera off

-Wranggled Luci into his mess and now everyone knows the face of that one dude who just reads documents

-Everyone lowkey ships them

-Diavolo is the type to take a picture of a big meeting or a retreat out of instinct to just document his life

-He actually didnt know about vloggers before but he just liked the thought of documenting it

-Everyone picks up “Master” vibes as they say from him hehehe

-He doesnt have an Onlyfans or patreon 😔😔😔

-I honestly would have subscribed to his services

-Last post: “Barbatos made a delicious meal for us at the retreat today” Along with a picture of the Beautiful Demon Delicacy Spread in the table.

Taglist: No one yet (Please be part of the taglist for more content like this ☹️ It’s getting really discouraging)

[chocolatetakoyakis]

🚬 MAFIA DELUXE EDITION / 2 GAMES HEADCANON 🚬

⚫️ Seeing Their Cute Waitress/ Waiter Crush being in trouble ⚫️

Tommy :

please ladies and gentlemen let me introduce you Mr the Knight with a shining armor who’s immediately entering the fight when he saw a drunk idiot messing with you. He came a Few time at the bar and noticed your kindness and beautiful hair. you’re not always serving him but he always notices you.

He didn’t think about anything and rushed toward you without a plan under the eyes of Paulie and Sam who were lost like “ Where ta fuck is this man going ?” ( they were eating together and Tom was the only one who’s head was in your direction )

He expected you to be scared and defenseless against your ennemy however he stopped his race when he saw you brutally grabbing the tie / suspenders of the man to put him at your level. You looked PISSED and you were ! you said something to the guy’s ear which made him look toward Tommy and ran away

Our beloved Taximan walked to you curiously while your face expression relaxed a bit. collecting ALL HIS COURAGE he approached you shyly. “ It’s a very strong grip you got here Miss / Man, but I don’t think that’s what scared him right ?” You couldn’t help but smile at the man in front of you. Putting your hair behind you ear ( which literally killed Tom inside ) you answered : “ Thank you Sir, I just told him to not touch me unless he wants to be bitten up by the handsome gentleman who just get up of his seat to save me” You said that with humour which made Tom chuckle a little before asking you if you were ok. You thanked him by offering coffees to his table and you guys started to sympathize.

Paulie :

Have you ever seen Chaos ? Like pure Chaos ? Well Let le introduce you Paulie. This man made you his dream girl / boy the moment he first saw you at the bar. He is always so awkward and clumsy when you take his order which made you notice him because he is so cute under his Mafias’capo appearance. So Fucking with you next to him is a BIG BIG BAD IDEA !

Will not even let you take care of it. Without a warning, he just gave a HUGE headbutt to the man and made him fall unconscious. Feeling anger toward him, Paulie wanted to slap him until he wake up and APOLOGIZE to you but it didn’t work

When he noticed you were watching him, Paulie freaked out and started to stutter incomprehensible things. You only took his hands and thanked him for helping you. THE ACTION MADE HIS DAY and baby boy was already seeing you marrying him

«  Thank you so much sir... but what are we gonna do now ? » Paulie didn’t understand «  For what ? » you laughed and answered : «  Well I can’t welcome customers with an unconscious man on the floor right ? Can you help me moving him to the back alley ? » «  Oh..Y..Yeah sure » you took his hands while Paulie took his legs and you dragged the man behind the bar under Sam and Tommy’s eyes who were thinking you two were hopeless but funny together ( btw you two accidentally bumped the man into all the doors of the bar lol )

Sam :

Sam noticed you the first time he came with Paulie and Tommy. Now he likes coming in the bar only to see you and only ordering a coffee or something to eat while eyeing you from his seat. However he never talked to you. One night you were doing your service and he noticed a customer who was very very very insistent about spending the night with the you

Your kind answers surprised him because any woman he knows ( mostly strippers and Sarah but anyway ) would have already slap this man in the face. He kinda liked your calm and distinguished way of saying you were not interested ( it reassured him in a way, just in case one day he ask you for a date or something )

The man finally stopped talking to you and let you do your work. But he still had a smirk on his face which immediately alarmed Sam. Later in the evening you were gone in the street to take out the trash and the customers smirked even more and followed you to harm you. of course you defended yourself by kicking him between his legs. You ran toward the bar to feel safe but he got the time to took your arm and was bringing you to an abandoned street.

That’s when Sam appeared and took the man’s arm and said : “ When a woman /man says No it’s fucking No you Fucker !” You’re not sure but by hearing the customers screams, Sam may have broke his hands in the moment. He made him apologize to you on his kneels for making you uncomfortable and let him leave. “ Thank you Sir... That’s really Nice...” “ If you see this idiot near the bar again, just tell me ok ?” He said that while taking your cheek in his hands while escorting you back to the bar. You finally introduced yourself and he did the same. One week later he asked you for a date. ( if that happened when he was with Paulie and Tommy, he would have found the Man again to Beat him to death for messing with you and weak persons in general...I mean that’s what he did even if he was alone aha...Kinda Yandere type lol )

Vito :

Vito is nice, Vito is cool, Vito is handsome. So he noticed you of course the first time he went to the bar BUT honestly YOU were the first one who “fell” for him. It amused him, that you were always the one serving him no matter how many waitress / waiters were in the bar. He understood you were attracted to him pretty fast and he was proud. So expect Smirks and winks from him each time you’re welcoming him.

To be honest you were the cutest girl / boy of the bar and every customers would agree. Some of them quickly became jealous of Scaletta for always having you for his coffee and the amazing smiles you gave him. one day a fight started ( yup girl / man because of you )

a drunk man forced you to sit on his laps and it angered Vito who took your arm and moved you to his torso while OF COURSE putting a gun toward the Man. ( Vito is also a Savage )

“ I was not in the mood, Don’t mess with my favorite Waitress / waiter ok Dickhead ?” The customers didn’t expect Vito to have a Damn weapon on him and leaved the bar. “ Hum...Thank you Mr. Scaletta...But please put your Gun down you could harm yourself...” realizing you were still in his arms, he chuckled a bit and kissed you forehead before coming back to his seat “ Cute girl / boy”. Trust me he came even more often after this

Joe :

Humm Well. Joe thinks everything is HIS and unfortunately you are a part of this. Same as the others, your beauty almost killed him the first day he came to the bar. After some time he got frustrated you didn’t noticed him and always ended up being drunk at the counter with an exasperated Vito next to him. He basically get drunk for you to notice him....Right... However he never EVER talked to you, too ashamed of his loser attitude.

One night he was here with Vito again drinking when he heard someone yelling at you because of the price of the beer in the bar. The man was making a Big deal about nothing ( and damn you can’t chance the price lol ) which really angered Joe. Our boy jumped on the customers and told him to shut the fuck up while punching him in the face.

“ don’t you fucking yell at this beautiful waitress / Cute waiter you heard me Son of Bitch” you blushed hard and also looked at Vito like “ man, control your friend, he is gonna kill him” anyway the man and his friends leave the bar and you ended up nursing Joe who received some punches as well

He will probably fall asleep on you and Vito will take him home with a little sorry as apologize for the mess. You still Thanked them and wish Vito good Luck with Joe. Days later, they came back and you teased Joe about that night and eventually became friend with them. Joe did it ! Being drunk and saving you made you notice him and now he was happy !

Henry :

Let’s start with basics : Henry is the owner of the place. You didn’t know because you got the job by being interviewed by one of his man. That’s why he was surprised when he came to get a coffee and saw a cute new waitress / waiter he never saw before. He found you hella Cuuuute even if you’re probably younger than him. He never told you he was your boss and let you serving him each time he was here.

One day, in the morning a man came in drunk as fuck ( probably from a party ) and started messing with you while talking nonsense. Henry was here, staring at the scene and the man noticed him too. As the drunk ass was coming to annoy Henry, you quickly stepped between them asking the man not to mess with customers. He hardly pushed you in the floor and was about to slap you. “ don’t you dare tell me what to do you Bitch”

Henry’s eyes were red of anger. He stopped the guy by giving him his best kick. Still on the floor, he offered you his hand to help you. “ thank you so much Sir, I am so sorry that happened !” Seeing pure kindness in your eyes, he smiled and patted your head. With a simple mouvement of eyes, he asked his men you guessed to take care of the drunk man on the floor. They put him in a car and were waiting for Henry.

You sighed “ My boss will probably kill me for the mess” he looked surprised and answered “ don’t worry your pretty little head about this, Francisco will not tell you anything cutie, I’ll explain it to him” you were surprised he knew the name of your “ boss” however you only let him go without a word. “ see you next week cute girl / Boy” was the only thing he said before getting in his car and leave. When your “ Boss” came back he explained to you that Henry was the Big Boss and you immediately felt ashamed about everything happened. Now when he comes, Henry always teases you for not knowing who’s your real Boss.

[jalapeno-princess]

Second Chances

CEO Mark Tuan X Chef Reader

Word Count: 18.5K (Damn this is the longest imagine I’ve ever written I didn’t even realize how long it was)

Genre: Ex’s to Lovers, angst, fluff

Summary: There were no words to describe the love you and Mark had for one another. You were an aspiring chef and after graduating high school and going straight in to culinary school, everything seemed to be falling in to place for you. You were pursuing your dream career with the love of your life by your side. You felt as if life was going perfectly for you. That was until one night, something happens at a dinner party where he finds himself having to choose between you and his family and by choosing his family, he lost you. Years later, after starting up your own restaurant and becoming an extremely successful and renowned chef, your first catering client just so happens to be your ex-boyfriend and his soon to be wife.

A/n: Hey guys! A bitch is back and dying here in this quarantine. I hope you are all doing well. I AM SO FUCKING SHOOK OVER THEIR COME BACK LET ME TELL YOU I AM NOT BEING BIASED BUT THIS IS MY BABY MARK’S COMEBACK UGH DO NOT GET ME STARTED THAT MAN IS OTHERWORLDLY AND WE DON’T DESERVE HIM. Anyways, this imagine is based on the song “Once upon a dream” by Lana Del Rey and I don’t know why but lately, all her songs have been reminding me of Mark (I literally wrote at least 10 Mark imagines based on her songs ugh I can’t get over her last album and how almost every single song makes me think of Mark) I’m #sorrynotsorry this is so long but I hope you all enjoy! This is honestly the reason why I’m failing in my marine science class BUT WHATEVER (BTW, if you’re a JB stan, I suggest you stay away. Don’t say I didn’t warn you)

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem But if I know you, I know what you'll do You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

“Hey boss, there’s a lady on the line. She’s wondering if we can cater to her wedding.” You smiled politely at your sous chef as he popped his head in to your office and silently thanked him before picking up the phone. 

“Thank you for calling Sunrise Restaurant, this is y/n. How may I help you today?” 

A soft and gentle voice quickly answered. “Hello. I’m a big fan of you and your cooking. I’ve been to your restaurant many times and I think your food would be perfect to serve to the guests at my wedding. Do you guys cater?”

You took a second to think about it. You owned a decent sized restaurant, but the amount of chefs you had were enough to cook for your customers. There were three sous chefs, two prep cooks and one line cook. No one has ever asked you to cater for an event before, so you didn’t think you and your team, no matter how talented and hard working they all were, were capable of taking on such a task. However, the thought of it did excite you. If things were to be a success and the guests of her wedding were to appreciate your food the way the lady on the phone seemed to, your restaurant would become even more successful this bringing in so much more customers. Without a second thought, you found yourself agreeing. 

“When is the wedding and approximately how many people are you planning on inviting?” The line went silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. 

“It’s in August and I’m expecting at least 150 people. Is that okay?” You hummed in agreement while writing it down. Once you were finished with the call, you’d have to alert your team beforehand even if her wedding wasn’t for another five months. 

“Would you mind coming in sometime this week so we could talk about the menu?” Although you couldn’t see her, the way her pitch increased made it known that she probably had a huge grin on her face. 

“Of course! I’ll call you again to set up an appointment with you. You don’t know how much this means to me! Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day.”

As soon as you hung up, you released a long sigh. Sure, you were always up for a challenge, but you should’ve consulted with your fellow chefs before signing them up to something they may not want to be apart of. However, you were very confident in your team, you’ve been working with them for over three years. If anything, you considered them to be family rather than just mere employees. 

After taking a few moments to relax, you made your way towards the kitchen where they were all preparing their sections for dinner service. 

“Hey guys, I need to talk to you.” The smiles that were all on their faces as they chased each other around the kitchen soon were replaced with blank and worried expressions. 

“It’s nothing bad. Well, that’s my opinion. I don’t know how you all will feel about it and I should have talked to you before accepting the offer, but I agreed in catering to a wedding. I’m sorry if you guys don’t want to do that but—“ you let out a soft giggle when you saw all of them releasing breaths of relief. 

Two of your sous chefs Yugyeom and Jinyoung made their way toward you and tightly sandwiched you in between the two of them. Since both guys were quite taller and more broad than your petite frame, you were practically suffocating from their embrace and began playfully punching on their chests. 

“How is it that the tiniest one of us is the one who tells us what to do? You’re so cute y/n. Shit, you scared us. I thought the restaurant was closing or something.” 

You glared at the lanky boy and shoved him towards his section. “Hey! My restaurant is pretty amazing if I do say so myself. There’s no way I’d let this place shut down. I’ve worked too hard to open it up just to let it close.” 

Soon you felt another presence behind you and arms were wrapped around your waist as he placed his chin on your shoulder. “You better watch what you say Yugyeom. She might be tiny, but she’s feisty and at the end of the day, she cuts your checks.” You absentmindedly leaned back in to Jaebum’s chest but quickly came to your senses and remembered who you were currently surrounded by. “We’re perfectly capable of handling a wedding y/n. Don’t you trust us? If we can feed at least 600 people from the time we open to the time we close everyday I’m sure we can handle a wedding. We’ll be fine. You’re an amazing chef and a wonderful restaurant owner. The client chose you for a reason. There’s nothing to worry about.” You smiled softly at the older boy while he playfully pinched your cheek, earning the two of you groans from the others. 

“Stop trying to butter up the head chef Jaebum. Just because the two of you have a little thing for each other—OW. I can’t cook if my arm is in pain. Control your woman Jaebum!” Your eyes widened in shock at BamBam’s sudden revelation and right as you were about to chase after him, Jaebum softly tightened his grip around your waist. 

“Don’t waste your time on him. We have customers to tend to chef. Come on, the sooner we finish, the sooner you and I can go out to dinner.” 

What you and Jaebum has was hard to describe. Out of the six guys, Jaebum was the first one you met three years ago in culinary school. He was always to himself and your classmates labeled him to be mysterious. There was one time the two of you were paired up for an assignment and it was in those few weeks of working alongside each other that you learned of how kind and extremely soft he was. To most people, he was intimidating and he hardly had any friends in your major because of it; but he liked it that way. That was until he made a friend in you and from that day on, the two of you were attached to the hip. 

He was the first person you reached out to when you began planning on opening up a restaurant and he was quick to agree to be one of your chefs. Although you’ve known him for quite some time now, the two of you only recently started developing feelings for each other a little over three months ago but even then, it never escalated in to more than just some flirtatious banter, lingering touches and stolen glances between you two. However, even if you wanted to consider Jaebum to be something more, your heart would never let you. 

As much as you kept trying to tell yourself it was because you didn’t want to lose your friendship with him if things were to go south between the both of you, you knew there was more to it. 

The night went off without a hitch as it did every night and once it was over, Jackson offered to treat everyone out to dinner as a way to celebrate your restaurant’s first catering opportunity. However, you were too tired and couldn’t wait to go to bed. This earned you multiple frowns and boos from the rest of the crew but Jaebum was quick to silence them with a scowl. 

“She’s had a long day. It’s understandable. You guys have fun, I’ll take her home-“ This brought even more boos but also a couple of winks and eyebrow raises from the two youngest chefs. 

“Just say you want to have y/n all to yourself. We all know neither of you are going to get any sleep tonight if you go home together—that’s it! The next time we wash uniforms I’m purposely putting a red sock in your pile you asshole. Good night y/n. Get some rest and we’ll see you again tomorrow.” 

You said your goodbyes to the guys while Jaebum reached for your things and led you to his car. “Congrats again y/n. This’ll be great publicity for the restaurant if things go well with the wedding.” You felt warmth rise to your cheeks as he opened the passenger door for you. Whenever any one of the other chefs would compliment you, you’d simply smile and thank them; but whenever Jaebum said something nice about you, you always found yourself blushing. 

Something about the way he’d look at you as if you were the only girl in the world would send butterflies to your tummy. However, he had yet to take things further between you both and you felt as if he was hesitant for the same reasons you were. But you liked how things were going with you and Jaebum, and your restaurant  was your main focus as of right now. A relationship wasn’t in your plans at the moment, especially because of how your last one ended.

“But what if it all goes to shit Jaebum? What if I mess up? What if the guests don’t like our food? What if we forget something once we get there and what if—“ he brought his finger up to your lips in attempts to prevent you from continuing saying such negative things about yourself. Jaebum thought the world of you and hated that you never saw yourself the way he saw you. 

From the first day he met you in college, he knew you were someone special. He saw how dedicated you were when it came to your craft and perfecting your dishes. He always looked up to you and could only dream of being even half of an amazing chef as you were. When you first called Jaebum to tell him you were opening your own restaurant and asked him to be one of your sous chefs, he wasn’t surprised to hear that you were opening your own restaurant. It was a dream of yours ever since you were a little girl. Jaebum was completely aware of how many extra hours you picked up at your job on top of being a full time student just to save up for a restaurant. Seeing as how you did it in less than a year after graduating was pretty impressive and he knew you had it in you. 

“Will you stop that? Stop thinking so negative about yourself y/n. You’re one of the best chefs in the state. They didn’t write about you in the newspaper for no reason. It’s obvious you have a gift y/n. That lady chose our restaurant out of the hundreds of other restaurants who are known for catering and you wanna know why? Because our food is spectacular. Our recipes, our menu. It’s unique, it’s different. Our staff is entertaining, you’ve decorated the place really nicely and guess what? The owner and head chef is an extraordinary person. You are a marvel y/n. Now stop worrying that pretty little head of yours and go get some rest. We have a long week ahead of us. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”

The rest of the week went by far too quickly and finally, it was the day the soon to be newlyweds were coming in to meet with you about their wedding day. The bride Erica, whose name you learned when she set up a meeting with you two days after your first call, called you just a few minutes before her scheduled time to let you know she was running late but that her fiancé was almost there and that it was fine if the two of you started without her. 

You were in your office filing some paperwork when Youngjae came in and let you know that Erica’s fiancé was there. When you walked in to the dining area and saw who he was referring to, your heart sank to your chest. It was as if the whole room was spinning and you couldn’t breathe. 

Three years. 

It’s been three years since you last saw him. 

Three years since he let you walk away from his parent’s house in tears. 

It’s been three years since he broke your heart and now here he was, standing in your restaurant, waiting to meet with you to talk about his wedding. A wedding the two of you talked about many times in your almost seven years of dating. You felt like you were about to throw up. Was it too late to say you couldn’t do it? There was no way you’d be able to cater to your ex boyfriend’s wedding. You couldn’t stomach the thought. 

“Y/n, aren’t you coming?” You didn’t even realize you weren’t moving until you felt the older boy tug at your wrist. 

“Youngjae, I—“ If you were coming off as rude and unprofessional, you didn’t care. This was the man you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Your first love, your soulmate, your best friend. How could you possibly cater to a wedding of a man you planned on marrying? There was no way you’d be able to do it without crying during the process. All the memories of your relationship to your last night together came rushing back and you felt tears brimming at your eyelids. Before you could turn around and attempt to walk away, you heard his breath hitch. 

“Y/n.” You released an exasperated sigh before making your way towards him. “Hey. It’s been a while.” As hard as it was seeing him after all these years, you had to put on a strong face and pretend like nothing was wrong. No matter how much you were on the brink of crying. You wouldn’t let yourself cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve you or your tears. 

“Please follow me. We have no time to waste. I have to start preparing for the lunch service.” The sharpness in your tone and the spine chilling glare you sent his way didn’t surprise Mark. He deserved it after what he put you through. What he wasn’t ready for, was seeing you after three years. He didn’t think he would be able to sit in a room alone with you without crying over what no longer was. 

Seeing you again after how things ended between the two of you only brought back images of your puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks. It was the worst day of his life. 

When the two of you entered your office, you made your way towards your secret cabinet where you stored your alcohol and began preparing yourself a drink. When you heard him snicker, you rolled your eyes and took a shot. 

“Are you allowed to drink on the job?” You poured yourself a glass of red wine before finally taking your seat in front of him. 

“This is my restaurant. I can do whatever I want and I’m going to need a few sips of liquid courage if I’m going to have to deal with you.” He frowned before sitting up right so he could take a better look at you. From the day Mark met you, you always had a very bright and bubbly personality. You were one of the sweetest, kindest and most generous people Mark knew. But hearing you speak to him so harshly made him hate himself for turning you in to such a stone cold person. 

“Look y/n, I can already tell that you hate having me in your presence and I’m sorry this is happening right now. You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. I can talk to Erica and we can find someone else—“ You shook your head in disagreement. 

“I am a chef. My professional life comes before my personal one. I’m fine. If you’re going to have a problem with dealing with me then you can go ahead and tell her you want to look someone else.” He furrowed his brows while biting his lip. It was something he did many times when he was contemplating something. You hated that you still remembered the meaning behind every single movement of his. 

“I’m happy to see that you followed your dreams of completing culinary school and opening your own restaurant. I’m proud of you y/n. And you haven’t changed a bit. Still breathtakingly beautiful, as you always were. Always will be.” You scoffed in disbelief. Was he really saying all of this to you? He was engaged to be married and yet complimented you on your looks. Sure, he made it known how beautiful he thought you were every single day back when the two of you were still together, but this was a completely different story. He also had the nerve to tell you he was proud of you for following your dreams when it was the reason for your breakup in the first place? You couldn’t believe your ears. 

You and Mark started dating in your freshman year of high school. He was a junior you had met in P.E. Him and his group of friends were known throughout your high school. He was the captain of both the baseball and soccer team and he was one of the only students with a car. A Lexus to be exact. Everyone was completely aware that Mark’s family owned one of the biggest technology companies in the country. However, he was very simple and modest. He wasn’t this narcissistic, big headed asshole that everyone assumed he was just because his family was rich. 

One day, your class was running the mile run when you tripped on a rock and sprained your ankle. Mark was quick to run towards you and didn’t hesitate to pick you up bridal style and carried you all the way to the nurse’s office. He stayed with you for the rest of the period and in that half an hour, the two of you talked about anything and everything your hearts desired. From that day on, you became really good friends and it didn’t take long for you to fall for him. He never failed to make you laugh at the cheesiest jokes, he would always bring you snacks and made sure you were eating your meals. He would drop you home from school almost every day and when the two of you exchanged phone numbers, he would find himself texting you all kinds of memes, videos and links to posts he’d find funny. 

Less than a month after your accident, he confessed his feelings for you and you were excited that he reciprocated your feelings. Dating Mark was a dream. You didn’t think he could be even more amazing as a boyfriend than he was a friend, but he proved you wrong. He took you on many dates that he’d plan out thoroughly, wrote you cute little love letters, attempted to help you with your studies even if most of the time you were together was spent making out and would end practice early just to spend as much time with you as he could. Since he was well aware that he was your first boyfriend, he let you control the pace of your relationship. He only did whatever you asked him to do and didn’t want to cross any boundaries in fear of scaring you away. 

Although he’s been in multiple relationships before, you were the first girl he’s ever been in love with and he had a huge feeling you were going to be the last.

When Mark graduated from high school, you were afraid the distance was going to take a toll on your relationship. However, Mark never failed to reassure you that nothing would change between the the two of you. If anything, it brought the two of you closer. He made sure to continue picking you up and dropping you off to school because on some days, that was the only time he got to see you. And he never failed to call you and text you when he missed you. 

Your life revolved around the older boy. He was all your heart knew and wanted to know. You started losing friendships because of how focused you were on your relationship but you didn’t care. Mark was your main priority and he made it obvious in his actions that he felt the same way about you. 

Once you graduated from high school, you went straight in to culinary school and to say you were excited was an understatement. Cooking was a passion of yours from the time you could talk. When your siblings would watch cartoons, you found yourself watching the food network. Instead of joining a sport or some kind of dance class, you joined cooking and baking classes. There was something about the art of cooking that went beyond just throwing some instant noodles in to a pot of boiling water. 

Cooking meant more to you than what it did to most people. You were lucky that you had a boyfriend that was extremely supportive in your dreams and your goals. No matter how many times you told him no, Mark would buy you everything you needed in order to cook. All the supplies you needed in your classes, he bought nothing but the best brands. There were some days you felt shy having to bring your Martha Stewart cooking set to class knowing everyone else had brands that were sold at Walmart. 

Knowing that your boyfriend wanted nothing but the best for you made your heart flutter. Whenever you wanted to try a new recipe, he would always offer to be the taste tester even if you knew it was just his excuse to get a free meal; but he deserved it. Mark made it aware that he was your number one fan. The two of you moved in together not too longer after you graduated because he wouldn’t stop complaining about how much he missed you. 

Even when he was back in high school, he knew he was going to take over his dad’s position at his company when he were to retire. Which is why he never got to attend college and went straight to work at their company. However, you knew deep down that Mark had dreams of his own. 

You’d watch him draw pictures of buildings, you’d see him look at construction sites in awe and you’d catch him watching hgtv in the wee hours of the morning. Mark wanted to be an architect, there was no doubt about it and you knew your boyfriend was capable of becoming an amazing one. Unfortunately, whenever you’d bring the topic up to him, he’d give you a sad smile and just shrug it off; ultimately changing the topic. 

One thing you both loved and hated about him was how obedient he was. He did whatever people told him to do. From an early age, he was groomed to become a CEO, even if he wanted nothing to do with the company. 

On the night of your breakup, you and Mark were invited to his parent’s anniversary party. You’ve met the Tuan’s many times and they were some of the sweetest people you knew. They were also very particular when it came to their reputation and when Mrs.Tuan heard that her oldest son’s girlfriend wanted to become a chef, she wasn’t having any of it. You were all currently seated in their grand dining room area having dinner when curiosity got the best of her. 

“Y/n sweetheart, you’ve been with Mark for seven years now and you’ve been in college for almost three years but I have yet to learn what it is that you’re majoring in. What are you studying dear?” You smiled widely at her but before you could say anything, you felt a pinch on your thigh. You quickly turned towards your boyfriend and frowned at his worried face, not understanding what his expression meant. But once the words “culinary arts” fell from your lips and the whole room went in to uproar, you knew exactly why Mark looked so bothered. 

You felt like everyone was stabbing at your heart with every laugh that was being thrown your way and when you turned to Mark, he was staring at the ground with a blank face. 

“Y/n, dear. You cannot be serious. A chef? Are you crazy? You want to cook for people? Now why in the world would you want to do that? There are so many other occupations out there much more impressive than that. Whose going to be impressed when I tell them that my future daughter in law is a cook? I’m sorry, but that just won’t do.” 

You could feel your throat getting dry and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole in that moment. As much as you liked and respected Mark’s family, you couldn’t go past the fact that they were looking down on you and belittling your dream career. They should accept you and your future career for what it was. 

However, it wasn’t their words that were hurting you. The fact that Mark allowed them to continue attacking you and treating you as if you were some pathetic being who didn’t deserve to be there instead of defending you and your dream is what was slowly tearing you apart. How could he claim to support you in everything you did, love you more than anything or anyone in the world and want nothing but the best for you, yet fail to protect you from his family? His silence spoke volumes, which is why you weren’t surprised when your next few words fell from your mouth. 

“You have nothing to worry about Mrs.Tuan, because I have no plans on marrying your son for that matter. I refuse to marry in to a family who doesn’t accept nor support my dreams and I refuse to change a thing about for anyone but myself. Thank you for having me tonight. I wish you all nothing but the best. Happy anniversary.” You did not waste any time getting out of there and mentally cursed yourself as you remembered Mark drove the both of you to his parent’s house. 

You started briskly walking to the nearest bus stop seeing as how it was getting quite late. Tears began to fall from your cheeks when you came to the realization that Mark wasn’t chasing after you, but you knew his family probably kept him from doing so. 

Throughout your walk, a part of you felt as if you should’ve kept your mouth shut. No matter how much the Tuan family seemed to like you, you should’ve known that they were people who cared about their wealth and social status. But another part of you refused to give up on your dreams in order to impress people who clearly didn’t deserve you at all. 

The fact that Mark didn’t fight for you or for your relationship is what was killing you the most. You loved him with every fiber of your being. You had plans to settle down with him, get married to him, have kids with him; you wanted it all. Now, you wanted nothing to do with him. You were going to head back to your shared apartment in order pack up everything and head back to your parent’s place. When you finally reached the bus stop, you called your mom up and explained the whole situation to her. 

You’ve never heard your mom swear so many times in one sentence before. She was fuming and she had every right to be. As much as she wanted to be angry with Mark, she was much more disappointed. Parents claim to want nothing but the best for you. However, if you feel in your heart that what they want for you, isn’t what you need, it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re going to take responsibility for your own life, or continue to let them tell you what to do. Mark would always do whatever his parents wanted him to and there was nothing you could do about it. 

Once you hung up the phone with your mom, you took a look at yourself and let out a hysterical laugh. You were a mess. Your eyes were swollen and your cheeks were red and puffy. It just occurred to you that you lost the love of your life. This was it for the two of you and you didn’t know what you were going to do. How were you going to live without the man who was all that you knew? You were so deep in your thoughts that you failed to notice Mark trying to get in touch with you. After a few moments, you saw his Lexus pull up to the bus stop and you turned towards the other direction. 

“Y/n. I am so fucking sorry baby I—“ he got out of the car and made his way towards you but you continued to give him the silent treatment. When he came in to view, you refused to look at him. 

Your mind felt disgusted with the boy kneeling in front of you. Where was the man who held you as you cried because finals were too hard? Where was the man who stayed up till the wee hours of the morning to take care of you when you got the flu? Where was the man who bought you twelve different pints of ice cream once because he knew how much you loved ice cream? Where was the man who cried in to your shoulder when Moana’s grandmother died? Where was the man who told you he loved you more than life itself and promised you the sun, the moon and the stars? It was clearly not the little boy on his knees in front of you. The boy in front of you chose his family, his pride and his reputation over you. Over your seven year relationship. Over your love, your happiness, your life and future together. This was not the man you loved. 

“Don’t. Just go Mark. They’re probably waiting for you. Go.” He shook his head and wrapped his arms tightly around your legs as he placed his chin on your thighs. “Mark, get up. You’re being ridiculous.” 

He began to cry in to your lap and you could feel the tears building up again. One of the things you loved most about Mark was how sensitive he was. He cried over many different things and you knew it was because he had a big heart. Whenever he would cry, you’d find yourself crying too. You hated seeing Mark cry, but he never cried over you. He never had a reason to, until now. He made a mistake, and he was now paying for it. 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve said something. I’m so fucking stupid. But you need to understand that—“ you groaned in disbelief. 

“I need to understand what Mark? That I’m not good enough for you? Or your family? That I’m considered trash to you because I want to become a chef? What’s so good about you huh? You’re taking over a company. Woohoo! Good for you! We all know that’s not what you want. It’s being handed over to you. You don’t have to do shit. I’m sorry I don’t come from a wealthy family like you. Things don’t get handed to me on a silver platter like they do for you Mark. I have to work for the things that I want. You made me feel like shit. Like I’m nothing in front of your family. You made me feel as if you were ashamed of me and my career path when you are the number one person who pushes me to go after my goals and chase after my dreams.” 

His sobs only became louder the longer you explained your thoughts to him, but you didn’t care. He needed to know how pathetic he made you feel. 

“How do you think your parents would react if they knew their son put hundreds of dollars from their company in to buying me cooking equipment? I bet they wouldn’t be too pleased knowing you’d leave work early in order to come support me at my competitions and drive me to wherever I needed to go. Nor would they be too happy knowing you paid off my entire tuition no matter how many times I begged you not to. Love is about sacrifices Mark. You claim to love me and up until tonight I know you did, but you failed to sacrifice your pride for me and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that. Thank you, for showing me your true colors tonight. I’m glad I found out who you really are and what your main priorities are now rather than later as I waste the rest of my life with you.”

He finally took his face off of your lap and looked up at you. Seeing the broken look on his face made you want to cry again, but you held yourself together. He gripped both of your wrists before roughly connecting your lips together. Your heart was begging you to react to the kiss. You wanted to be understanding, you knew how hard it was for Mark having to choose between his family and you. But if they were really his family, they would love you and support you no matter what the case and they failed to do so. 

You knew this was probably your last few moments with him and as much as you wanted to hate him, the love you had for him would always be stronger. Seven years of your life spent with him was not going to disappear in a matter of seconds. So you were selfish and allowed him to kiss you for the time being. Just a few seconds later, you pulled away and placed one more kiss on his lips.

“Come on, we’ll talk about this more at home—“ You shook your head in disagreement and you could feel him grip on to the hem of your party dress.

“Y/n, please. Please baby. Hear me out. Let me make things right, please. I can’t lose you. You mean everything to me y/n. I love you so fucking much. I can’t live without you. Are you really going to let seven years go to shit because you want to be stubborn?” 

You scowled as you tried to pry him off of you. “DON’T YOU DARE GIVE ME THAT SHIT. YOU DECIDED TO LET SEVEN YEARS GO TO SHIT WHEN YOU FAILED TO DEFEND ME. WHEN YOU FAILED TO PROTECT ME. WHEN YOU LET YOUR FAMILY LAUGH AT ME AND TALK NEGATIVELY ABOUT ME AND MY DREAMS. You should have grown a fucking pair and told your parents just how proud you are of me and how supportive you are of my occupation but no. You let your mom make me feel stupid and inferior because she doesn’t think my occupation is good enough for you. You always have to do what mommy and daddy tell you huh? I’m sorry. I refuse to let anyone tell me how to live my life. I love myself too much for that. I love you Mark, and I’m always going to love you. But I love myself more. So much more. Have a nice life and take care of yourself.” 

With perfect timing, the bus stopped in front of the curb and you grabbed your things while quickly getting on. You faintly heard him calling after you, but you made your way towards the back and plugged in your headphones. It felt like a huge weight was taken off of your shoulders. Once you reached your apartment, you released a sigh of relief when you noticed he wasn’t there and began to pack away all your things. You were going to miss this place. So many memories were made here and you couldn’t help but reminisce.However, tonight’s events would not stop playing in your mind and you decided to push back all memories of Mark to the back of your thoughts. 

You successfully put away all your things before he could come home and stop you and made your way to your car in order to drive to your parents house. You haven’t seen or heard from Mark since that dreadful night and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him or thought about him from time to time. But you knew what you deserved and like he’s told you multiple times before, you deserved nothing but the best and that’s the only thing you were going to accept. 

“Yeah. All my hard work paid off. Let’s get started on this shall we?” You tried your best to look anywhere but at him. There was no doubt Mark was good looking. He was the most handsomest man you’ve ever laid your eyes on and like a fine wine, he only gets better with age. However, you could still see remnants of the teenage boy you fell in love with many years ago. You knew you wouldn’t be able to concentrate if you were to look at him. 

“Let’s start off with allergies. What is Erica allergic to?” When he didn’t respond after a few minutes, you gave up on giving him the cold shoulder and finally looked up at him. You looked at him in curiosity and he shrugged at you. “You don’t know what your fiancée is allergic to? Seriously?” 

Hearing his name and the word fiancée together sent an unsettling feeling to your stomach. You’ve always dreamt of going through this with him. Planning things for your wedding. Talking with a florist, a catering company, a baker, hiring a wedding planner. You would always find yourself planning your future wedding and Mark would always join in. Knowing he wanted to be involved always made your heart melt in to a puddle. That should be you sitting next to him with his ring on your finger, but things just weren’t meant to work out that way. You could only hope Erica was nearby so you could get this whole thing over with. 

“If I’m being honest, I don’t know much about her. So we should just wait for her to come.” You released a frustrated sigh before humming in agreement.

 “So, how is the restaurant doing so far? I like how you decorated the place. It’s really—you. The wallpaper, the booths and tables, the flooring, the fairy lights, the wooden plaques you always loved buying from Tj Maxx. If you don’t mind me asking, why Sunrise? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice name. But why?” 

You furrowed your brows and took a sip of your wine. You couldn’t believe you were going to tell him the reason, especially because it had to do with him and your relationship. But you were never one to lie. “Remember that one day we were watching the sunset at the beach and I began to cry because I was upset at the thought of how all beautiful things come to an end?” He nodded in remembrance of the memory and motioned for you to continue. 

“When we broke up, I was a wreck. For months. Hell, almost an entire year. I don’t know how I did it, but I graduated from culinary school with a 3.6 g.p.a and worked at multiple restaurants, trying to get as much food service experience as possible. I saved up enough money to open up a restaurant and here I am today. This restaurant had no name for two months because nothing sounded good to me. One of my sous chefs told me it’s always the darkest before the dawn and that with every sunset, there is a sunrise. As corny as it sounds, with the sunset of our relationship, came there sunrise of all my hard work and success. I lost you, but I gained myself. I achieved all my goals and now look, I own a five star restaurant. I’m a boss bitch if I do say so myself.”

This earned you a soft giggle and you didn’t realize how much you missed his laugh until you heard it again. Mark had one of those distinct and very contagious laughs. Although he was almost 27 years old, he had the cutest little high pitch laugh that you were sure could cure cancer. “Y/n, I—“ before he could continue his sentence, there was a knock on the door. 

“Oh my God, I am so sorry. I had a doctor’s appointment at 11 but it ended up being pushed back till 11:30. I also made a quick stop to my favorite bakery which is right next door. Here y/n, this is for you. This is one of their most popular items, a peanut butter and raspberry jelly croissant. I hope you like it.”

You gave her a soft smile before attempting to reach for it but Mark was quick to pull the paper bag away. “Mark—“ he took the pastry and placed it back in to the plastic bag she was holding. 

“Y/n is allergic to peanuts and she hates raspberries. Just save it for yourself and eat it later.” You looked at him in awe. Mark was always such an amazing listener. He always asked you so many questions about yourself and what you were allergic to was one of his first questions even before the two of you started dating. You found yourself warming up at the thought of how attentive he used to be whenever it came to you, but you quickly came back to your senses. He was getting married. Even if seeing him again awakened some feelings you still had for him, you couldn’t let little things like that affect you in any way. 

Hate was a very strong word. You couldn’t say you hated Mark. You could never hate him, no matter how much you wanted to. But you were disappointed in him and you didn’t know which feeling was worst. 

“Wait, how do you know—“

“We were talking about allergies before you came. Can you tell her yours, I have no clue.” 

Seeing the way the two of them were interacting made you confused. For two people who were getting married in a few months, they sure didn’t act like a couple and by the looks of it, Mark seemed irritated with her. She was completely oblivious towards his emotions, but you’ve been with him long enough to know when someone was getting on his nerves. 

How could they be getting married when it felt as if neither of them wanted to be there? It’s as if the woman on the phone and the one sitting in front of you were two completely different people. She didn’t have the excited tone in her voice like she did a few days prior and you couldn’t help but feel her fiancé had something to do with it. 

“Okay, how about we decide on the way the food will be served first? Did you guys want a buffet, or would you rather the dinner be brought to the guests?” Mark leaned back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders. He was making it pretty clear that he didn’t want anything to do with the decision making, nor did he seem to care about the wedding in general. You couldn’t help but get curious about their relationship, not that it was any of your business. You were consulting them about a catering inquiry not having a couples therapy session. And what did it matter to you anyway? Mark was in your past and you planned on keeping him there at all costs. 

While you and Erica continued to go through the menu, it felt as if Mark wasn’t even there. However, you could feel his eyes on you the entire time. Your assumptions were confirmed when you turned to face him as Erica brought up what she was interested in having. 

“Maybe we could do a surf and turf? So maybe some type of meat with lobster or crab—“ You looked at Mark and your breath hitched when you saw that he was already looking at you. 

“Mark’s allergic to shellfish.” Although you looked away before either of them could respond, the smirk that rose on his face made your heart rate increase.

“Oh, really? Well, in that case we could go with salmon or maybe cod?” Mark sat upright and placed his hands on the table as if he was now interested in the conversation. The rest of the meeting ran smoothly, or so you kept trying to tell yourself. As you and Erica continued to make decisions, Mark would throw in unnecessary comments and you couldn’t help but feel as if he was doing it purposely to get under your skin. But you didn’t let it bother you in any way. You weren’t going to allow him to get to you. Not anymore. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did the two of you meet?” Once the question fell from your lips, you were quick to notice the way Mark tensed up and you were extremely curious as to why. Why did that question seem to bother him?

“Oh, well our fathers are company partners and they thought we’d be a good match for each other.” A bitter laugh fell from your lips as you ignored the fact that Erica was there and turned towards Mark.

“Still doing everything daddy tells you huh? Why am I not surprised?” He glared at you but he knew he had no right to fire back. It was the truth. The two of you were so busy in your own little stare down that you failed to notice how confused Erica now was. 

“I’m sorry, am I missing something here? Do you two know each other?” 

You gave her a sad smile and nodded in agreement. “Knew. We went to school together. That’s pretty much it. Well, I think we’re done here for today. If you have any more questions Erica or need to update the menu, feel free to call the restaurant and I’d be happy to help. Have a nice day.” 

She quietly thanked you before making her way out, however, when she noticed Mark wasn’t following after her she tugged on his wrist. “Come on Mark, we have to meet with the florist.” 

You knew there were so many things he probably wanted to say to you, but you didn’t want to hear it. This meeting was nothing but a coincidence. But you couldn’t help but feel like it was the universe trying to tell you something. Out of the hundreds and thousands of people living in your hometown, how could your ex boyfriend and his soon to be wife be your first catering client? There was no way this happened by coincidence. 

After the two of them left your office, you sank to your knees and began to cry. Why did seeing him again after three years upset you so much? Your sobs filled the room and you felt as if you couldn’t breathe. You were so caught up in crying that you failed to notice Jaebum enter the room until you were brought on to his lap. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Shhh, you’re fine y/n. I’m here. Everything going to be alright.” He continued to console you and gently rocked you back and forth to try and get you to calm down. He ran his fingers through your hair and placed a few soft kisses on your forehead. Not too long after he entered your office, you stopped crying and sighed in to his chest. 

“Have you ever had your heart broken before Jaebum?” The sudden question flustered the older boy and he didn’t know how to respond. 

“Y/n—“ you frowned at his worried expression. 

“That man that just left, he’s my ex boyfriend. Ironic isn’t it? I’m catering to my ex boyfriend’s wedding. This has to be a joke. Someone must’ve set me up, this is bullshit. There’s no way I can cater to his wedding. Is it too late to cancel Jaebum? I know it’s unprofessional, but look at me. I’m a fucking wreck and this was only the first meeting. What more at the actual wedding?” 

Jaebum didn’t know how to respond. It was clear that seeing Mark again was ruining you and the walls you’ve took so long to build up after your relationship ended. He didn’t know what to do or how to help you. He wasn’t aware of the situation and even if you’ve known each other for a while, he had no clue who Mark was. His heart hurt for you. Seeing you so distraught over your ex and this unfortunate situation broke his heart and all he could do was hold you as you cried. Once your sobs began to slow down, you slowly got up from off of his lap and wiped your tears before giggling softly. 

“Sorry, I ruined your uniform and I probably kept you from doing something important—“ he brought his finger up to your cheek and wiped away a few of your tears. 

“Will you stop apologizing? God, how you are still so cute after crying is beyond me. What am I going to do with you y/n? You are the strongest and most hardworking person I know. I’m sure it is a lot to take in, but you’ll be fine. We’ve had people complain about our food, compare us to other restaurants and even walk out without paying for their meals and you’ve handled each and every negative situation with so much class because that’s who you are. If you decide that you don’t want to go along with this, then you don’t have to. But the y/n I know isn’t going to let something like this get in the way of her passion. You don’t have to tell me everything, just know that I’m here for you if you need to talk. Why don’t you just call it a day y/n? I can handle it from here. Maybe go to the spa or something. Take your mind off of what went down today.” 

You shook your head in disagreement before pulling him in for a hug. “I’m a big girl Jae. Although a relaxing day at the spa sounds nice, I’ll be fine. Thank you for consoling me. I should be outside in a few, I just have to finish up with their menu.” He placed one more kiss on your forehead and gave you a sad smile before heading back to the kitchen. 

Jaebum was right, there was no way you could work without making a mistake. Thoughts of Mark were clouding you your mind. An arranged marriage. He was getting married to someone because his family set him up for it. Although you didn’t feel like you had the right to think like that, it was only natural that you did. You watched them interact. You paid attention to the way Mark looked at his fiancée in disgust. It was nothing compared to the way he would look at you. Whenever Mark looked at you, your heart would always combust. He looked at you as if you were one of the seven wonders of the world. Whenever Mark looked at you, you couldn’t help but feel like the most ethereal being he’s ever laid eyes on. 

He looked at Erica like she was scum under his toes. She didn’t seem all too happy with him either, but she was handling it better than he was. Taking Jaebum’s advice, you took off your uniform, grabbed your things and made your way towards the kitchen. As the guys heard you coming in, you noticed how quick they pulled away from the huddle they were formed in and you knew Jaebum had probably warned them about your frazzled state. 

“Hey boss, we’re ready whenever you are.” You smiled softly at Youngjae while playfully running your fingers through his soft, blue locks. 

“I’m not feeling all too well. I’m sorry guys. I’m going to call it a day if that’s okay. Jaebum is in charge, please don’t give him a hard time. If you need anything, feel free to call me. I’ll be back tomorrow. Thank you for all your hard work.” The guys nodded in agreement and said their goodbyes as you made your way towards the door. 

“Please get some rest. And don’t overthink too much. Call me if you need to okay? I’m always here for you.” You grinned up at the handsome man and gently pinched his cheek. 

“Who knew the oh so intimidating and mysterious Im Jaebum would be such a softie for little old me? Thank you again. I’ll see you tomorrow. If I come back tomorrow and the restaurants in flames, I’ll kick your ass.” His laughter filled the room and he jokingly shoved you out the door. 

For the rest of the day, you did whatever you could to take your mind off of the fact that Mark was back in your life. You thought you were over him completely. Or at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. It was one thing to say you had no feelings for someone when they were no longer in your life. 

But now that you saw him and talked with him, the love you had for him all those years ago came rushing back. He was your first love, there was no way you could pretend that nothing ever happened between the two of you. 

A week after your extremely awkward meeting with Mark and Erica, business only increased, giving you a chance to focus on other things rather than your ex boyfriend who seemed to be clouding up your thoughts. Unfortunately, Mark took your little run in as a sign of fate. He was a realist. Like you had thought right after talking with him, there was no way this was a coincidence. Erica could have picked any catering company to reach out to but she chose your restaurant instead. 

Mark never believed in things like fate, or soulmates. But that was all before he met you. When you came in to his life, you were all his heart craved to know. You were all he longed for and everything he’s ever dreamt of. You weren’t aware of how much he regrets that night at his parents house and if he had the chance, he’d do whatever he could to go back in time to change the turn of events. He was miserable without you. Heartbreak was a foreign word to him. Since the two of you were madly in love with each other and planned to spend the rest of your lives together at one point, he didn’t think he would ever experience the pain that people claimed came with a broken heart. However, right after you got on the bus and walked out of his life, he knew you took a huge part of him with you. He hasn’t been the same since. 

He wanted to chase after you, to beg you to forgive him. He would take any beating or any negative words you threw at him because God knows he deserved it. But instead he let you go. The damage was done and he knew that even if you were to forgive him, you’d never forget what he did. He’s never been with anyone since you left. Mark knew there was no one else for him. You were it and you’d always be. Which is why he made a vow to focus on nothing but work. He took on extra shifts in attempts to get you off of his mind, but it never worked. He couldn’t stop thinking about how those words fell from your lips and slapped him across the face. 

You have nothing to worry about Mrs.Tuan, because I have no plans on marrying your son for that matter. 

Once you said those words to his mom, he knew it was over. He didn’t even have to look at you to know that you were upset and as soon as you left the table, he got up and ran out in to the yard, screaming and punching at anything in sight while kicking down both the mailbox and trash can. Mark didn’t give two shits about his family’s company, he didn’t care about their wealth or social status. He’d give it all up if it meant getting you back in his life again. He still had a hard time understanding why he didn’t just speak up and tell his family the truth. If he wasn’t such a coward, the two of you would still be together and he’d be cheering you on and giving you his endless support like he always did.

Unfortunately, Mark wasn’t like you. He didn’t have the strength or courage to go against his family and chase after his dreams like you did. He cared about what people thought about him. He didn’t want his family to be upset with him. But hearing them talk so negatively about the girl he loved more than any single one of them made him angry beyond belief. You were right. By not defending you, he chose them. Whoever said blood is thicker than water had to be an idiot. You meant more to Mark than anyone sitting at that table that night, but being the pathetic man he was, he couldn’t find it in himself to go against his mother’s wishes. 

He knew they wanted nothing but the best for him, or at least that’s what he thought. It took him years after your break up to come to terms with the fact that the Tuan’s would rather their son be miserable marrying the daughter of a wealthy business man who couldn’t give less of a shit about him other than his money, than to allow him to be with the love of his life who happened to be a chef. If they knew just how successful you and your restaurant had become, they wouldn’t have been so judge-mental towards you. 

As the years went by and Mark made it known that he had no interest in a relationship with anyone other than you, Mr.Tuan took it upon himself to find his son a bride. There was no way Mark could take control of such a big company without an equally successful woman by his side. When his father gave him the news that he was setting him up with the daughter of one of the company’s partners, Mark was floored. How could his father allow him to marry someone he never had met before let alone develop feelings for? 

Erica was a very sweet and soft spoken person and in Mark’s opinion, things could be worse. But he knew he could never look at her in a romantic way. He could never look at anyone the way he looked at you. It was his karma, but being the pushover he was, not being able to speak up against his parents, he found himself agreeing to the arranged marriage. His father kept trying to convince him that maybe somewhere along the line, the more time he spent with Erica, sooner or later he would develop some sort of feelings for her. It’s been almost a year since they started “dating” and the only skin-ship they shared between each other was the handshake that sealed the deal of their engagement. 

The word miserable couldn’t describe even half of what Mark was feeling. From the day you broke up with him up until now, he never stopped thinking about you. How you were doing, how school was treating you, how life would be like for the two of you if he just spoke up and praised you the way you deserved, if you missed him the way he missed you. If you still loved him, the way he couldn’t stop loving you. Seeing you again the other day made his heart both flutter and sink. He was meeting with you in regards to his wedding. Although you weren’t aware of the situation between him and Erica and he was sure you were moved on, a part of him felt guilty. Here he was with his fiancée, asking you to cater to their wedding. 

Not only did he feel uncomfortable being in a room with you, his ex-girlfriend and the woman he was still so madly in love with, but he was hiring you to do something his family practically laughed at you for doing. There was no way he could do that to you, but he had no choice. It took him every bone in his body not to walk behind your desk and pull you in to his embrace. 

There weren’t enough words to describe just how much he missed you. Mark didn’t think it was possible, but you were even more beautiful than when he last saw you. Your hair was longer, your eyes still had that pretty glow that he loved so much, your already petite frame got even smaller and you radiated so much confidence as you spoke. He was an idiot for letting you go and he’d never let himself live it down. 

As he made his way back to the apartment the two of you shared together, he began thinking about what to do to make things right between the two of you. Now that he knew where to find you and that there was a chance he’d get to see you a few more times, he had to do whatever he could to get you to forgive him. It was too late for you to become a couple again and he accepted that. But that didn’t mean the two of you couldn’t be friends and if that was the only way he could have you in his life, then so be it. He’d take whatever he could get. 

You could pretend as if you were unbothered by his presence, but Mark knew you like the back of his hand. Hell, he knew you just a bit more than you knew yourself. If you didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t have spoke up about his allergies, nor would you have brought up the fact that he hates artichokes. You wouldn’t have stolen glances at him the way you were when you thought he wasn’t looking. 

He saw how you smiled to yourself when he took the donut away from you and had to stop himself from blushing at the sight. He was older now and considerably more mature. Although he was still living by his parent’s rules, attempting to make his way back in to your life was a rule he was willing to break. That’s if you’d let him of course. 

When you went in to work one morning, your office was surrounded with dozens of sunflower arrangements and you knew exactly who they were from. Only one person knew how much you loved sunflowers; it was the same person who could not leave your mind. You furrowed your brows in confusion, why was he sending you flowers? Just because you had to work for him did not mean anything. You weren’t planning on reconnecting again. You just wanted the whole wedding to hurry up and be over with so that Mark would be out of your life completely and you could get your sanity back. 

Each bouquet had a card on it with different phrases and quotes you loved and you could feel warmth rising on your cheeks. You felt a tear against your cheek, but you refused to let any more fall. Did Mark think that sending you a bunch of flowers was going to fix what he broke years ago? He was getting married to someone who wasn’t you, so why was he sending you flowers? What did it mean? 

“Hey y/n, the food supplier is here—holy shit. It’s like a garden in here. These are obviously not from Jaebum, he doesn’t have the brains nor the money to think about buying all of this. Do you have a secret admirer? He must be rich. So that’s your type then huh boss? I better let Jaebum down easy—OW! For someone who claims I am your favorite, you always seem to show your affection through abuse. My bruise from the soup ladle you whacked me with is still healing you know!” 

You rolled your eyes before throwing on your apron and motioned the blue haired boy out of the room. “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Jackson and BamBam these days Youngjae. You’ve been exceptionally nosy and I hate that those two losers corrupted my sweet little line cook in to a monster. Don’t worry about the flowers, worry about the vegetables that need chopping. Shoo.” 

He playfully frowned while exiting and closed the door behind him. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he remembered what your favorite flowers are. Every Valentine’s Day and birthday you celebrated together, no matter what gift he gave you, he’d always give you a bouquet of sunflowers. There was one bouquet that you had yet to read the letter attached and since curiosity got the best of you, you found yourself reading it. 

“I don’t care what you think, I know it’s fate that brought us together again. You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to, but since we’ll be seeing each other every so often, it wouldn’t hurt to be civil. Give me a call when you get the chance.-MT” 

You released a frustrated sigh before plopping down in your chair. This man was going to be the death of you. As your mind began to have an internal argument with your heart, you found yourself reaching for your phone and sent him a quick text, thanking him for the flowers and asking him when he was free. Sure, there was no going back to what used to be; but he had a point. You couldn’t keep acting so cold towards him. The obvious animosity between the two of you which was more so on your part wasn’t going to make things any easier. He was quick to respond, letting you know that he was willing to meet right now if you were free in which you found yourself agreeing to. 

There were red flags going off in your head, but you didn’t care. It’s not like he’d be able to hurt you again, there was no chance of getting back together. Once the wedding was over, he’d be a married man and the two of you would go back to being strangers again. It bothered you that you were upset at the thought of no longer seeing him once this was all done but deep down you knew it was the fifteen year old girl who fell in love with Mark all those years ago that was making the decision for you. 

“Y/n, where did you move the first aid kit? Yugyeom’s dumb ass cut his finger again—wow. Are you giving up cooking to pursue decorating flower arrangements?” You shoved the older boy before removing your apron and reaching for your bag. 

“I have to meet up with someone. Can you let Jaebum know? I should be back in an hour. Thanks Jinyoung.” Before he could open his mouth to say anything, you were making your way out of the restaurant. You began feeling nervous, but at the same time a part of you felt happy to see him again and you hated yourself for feeling that way. 

He asked you to meet him at a coffee shop the two of you would always frequent back when you were together. He chose that place on purpose, you were sure of it. First the sunflowers, now your favorite cafe you haven’t been to since the breakup. He was trying to get you to reminisce on what once was and you weren’t going to allow yourself to fall for it. After pulling up to the shop and parking your car, you made your way in to the coffee shop and it didn’t take long for you to see him sitting in the corner. You walked over towards him and your heart warmed when a smile rose on his face as soon you made eye contact with each other. 

“Hey! I’m not taking you out of work or anything am I?” You shook your head in disagreement and took a seat. You’d be lying to yourself if you said he didn’t look good. He was growing out his hair and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him doing it for you. Mark would always complain about how his hair would get in his eyes once it grew a certain length but you made sure he was aware of how much his long hair would turn you on. At one point, his hair went past his neck and that’s when you decided it was time he got a haircut. The memory made you smile to yourself. 

“I ordered your usual if that’s okay. If you’re not in to ice caramel macchiatos with coconut milk anymore I can go change it—“ he stood up but you motioned for him to sit back down. It was so cute how flustered he was acting towards you. Were you really in a relationship with this man for over seven years? He was acting as if it was your first date all over again. 

“That’s fine Mark. It sounds really good actually. I haven’t been here for quite a while. I’m glad to see it hasn’t changed a bit.” The two of you sat in silence for a few moments and you tried to look around the room in attempts to feel less awkward until he spoke up. 

“I’m sorry.” 

You looked up at him in curiosity and decided to stay silent as he continued. “I’m very grateful you agreed to meet up with me. I don’t deserve to be here with you right now and I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but you didn’t let me explain myself at the bus stop—“ 

Why did he feel like this was a good environment to talk about your failed relationship? You were sure he knew you were probably going to cry, so why did he want to talk about such a sensitive topic in the public? “Mark—“ timing always seemed to be on your side. The waitress came over and gave you both your drinks all the while handing you a cranberry scone. You could feel your throat getting dry as your tears began to form. This was all too much for you to handle but you didn’t want to cause a scene, so you quietly thanked the waitress and kept your eyes on the table. 

“Erica and I, I’m sure you’re aware of it. You’ve always been so good at observing people. We’re not an actual couple. My father set me up for an arranged marriage with her in order to strengthen our companies together. I haven’t been in a relationship since our break up and because of this, my father took matters in to his own hands and being the weakling I am, I agreed to go along with it. But I hate it y/n. The meeting we had the other day was the first time I’ve seen her in months and she’s taking this whole arrangement better than I am but I’m sure she’s just as upset if not more with her father. I haven’t been treating her too kindly and it’s not her fault that this is happening, but you and I both know I don’t want to spend my life with anyone other than you. It’s always been you y/n. I meant what I said when I told you we were soulmates.”

You took a sip of your drink, but you didn’t have much of an appetite the more he continued to talk. As much as you didn’t think you could continue listening to him confess his feelings for you, you wanted to hear what he had to say. Which is why you found yourself still sitting in front of him instead of running out like you probably would have if he did something like this right after your break up. 

“I should’ve stood up to my parents, and told them how proud I was of you. How proud I am of you. Look at you. You’re one of the most youngest and extremely successful chefs in the country. You have your own restaurant and achieved everything you said you were going to do. You’re such a wonderful human being y/n and I hate myself for humiliating you and making you feel worthless. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m still so fucking in love with you and it fucking sucks because it’s my fault we’re like this. I don’t know how you feel about me, you could hate my guts for all I know but I deserve it. It’s obvious there’s no way we can be together again and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to get back with me even if there was a chance for us. But I have to go through with this wedding and I think this is my karma. I have to spend the rest of my life being miserable because of the choice I made that night. You have to admit though, meeting up again after all of these years is fate.” He scratched the back of his neck, something he always did when he felt as if he was upsetting you. 

“I’m not going to lie, I found myself searching you up on several occasions to see how you were doing, to see if you accomplished what you put yourself out to do. There were so many times I found myself standing outside of your restaurant, but I didn’t think I deserved to come in. When Erica told me where she was planning on getting the food from, I felt a tad bit excited at the thought of seeing you again. I’ve missed you so much y/n. I can’t even describe how painful it was to lose you. The day I let you walk away was the worst day of my life. If I could go back to that night and did what I should’ve done, I would.” 

You scoffed in disbelief. “But you can’t Mark. The damage is done, so take it for what it is. You didn’t love or care for me enough to think that something like this would happen. You should have known that you would have to choose between me and your family and you chose them. You knew how becoming a chef was my one and only dream; that’s why you supported it. When your mom laughed in my face and tried to make me feel pathetic for wanting to be a chef, it felt like a slap in the face and I didn’t care how much I loved you. I wouldn’t have given up my career to impress your family or to find another job that would make me miserable just to be good enough for you.” You clenched your jaw and could feel your anger building up. You were afraid of saying something you would soon regret if you were to stay a little while longer.

“I tried telling myself that it was hard for you, to choose between your mom and I, but if I were in your shoes, I would’ve chose you. I would’ve done anything for you Mark. I didn’t care about anyone or anything other than my passion for cooking and you. You were all that I thought I could ever need. So that’s why I was devastated when you didn’t seem to have the same mindset that I had. I don’t know what you wanted to come out of our meeting today and I’m sorry if you thought that by apologizing, I would magically end up back in your arms again. It doesn’t work that way Mark. I think it’s best for us to pretend as if we don’t know each other. You’re just another client to me. What we had was indescribably beautiful, but it is no longer. Nor will it ever be again. I’m sorry you’re being forced in to marriage, but you do have a say in it. You just can’t go against your parents wishes. You’re a grown man Mark. Not everything your parents want for you is what’s best for you. It’s okay to choose yourself sometimes. Thank you for the coffee and the scone. Have a nice rest of your day.” 

You ran out of the cafe and quickly got in to your car before you could react to the whole interaction and soon your sobs echoed throughout your car. 

I’m still so fucking in love with you. 

Out of everything he said, those words stuck with you. They were haunting you and you knew you still loved him too. There was no doubt about it. But there was nothing either of you could do about it. He was getting married and with the way he was allowing himself to go through with it, you knew he’d continue doing whatever he could to please his parents. You refused to be with someone who wouldn’t stand their ground when the situation called for it. Instead of returning back to the restaurant, you made your way home. There was no way you could work without breaking down and crying. 

You texted Jaebum and let him know of your plans in which he was quick to offer to head to your place once he was finished. But you didn’t want to burden him with your problems and you wanted to be alone. Mark reached out to you, apologizing for pulling such a stunt and accepting the fact that the two of you weren’t going to be what you used to be. As the months went by, the wedding date only got closer and closer and to your surprise, you and Mark became friends. 

After that day in the coffee shop, he gave you your space and didn’t hear from him unless he had to call you about the wedding. However, there was one night he called you in the wee hours of the morning and you couldn’t help but answer the call. He never used to wake you up with a phone call unless it was urgent and when you heard him crying over the phone, you knew it was serious. Mark was infamous for having panic attacks and he made it known to you that you were the only one who could get him to calm down. 

He knew he was taking advantage of having your number, and he was selfish for wanting to call you. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop crying unless he heard your voice and that’s exactly why he dialed your number. You did your best to console him softly and soothingly and after a few moments, his sobs finally stopped. Hearing him so weak and fragile broke your heart and you decided to forget about everything negative for a little while in order to focus on him. 

You loved this man for a huge chunk of your life; you weren’t going to allow him to suffer on his own if there was something you could do about it. After that night, you let him know that he could find solace in you whenever he needed to. It didn’t take long for the two of you to start talking to each other on a daily basis and you finally accepted the fact that you were falling back in love with him. However, as soon as you felt yourself gaining back your feelings for him, you had to remind yourself that he was going to be a married man in less than a month. 

Although he wasn’t romantically involved with Erica, he was hers legally. You and Mark were stuck in your own little world that you failed to notice your surroundings and what was going on around you. The closer you got with Mark, the more distant you became with Jaebum and you knew it had to deal with the fact that he had feelings for you. 

You liked Jaebum, there was no questioning your feelings for him. But the love you had for Mark was strong, too fierce for you to look at anyone else in the way you looked at him. If you and Jaebum were meant to be more than friends, something would’ve happened between the two of you a long time ago.

Jaebum didn’t know that Mark was the one you were constantly sneaking around to meet with, but he knew there was someone who was currently taking up all the space in your mind and possibly your heart. You didn’t realize how serious things were getting between the two of you until Erica asked to schedule a meeting with you. She never really worried about anything considering your catering share of the wedding and if she did, she would normally call you. So you were curious as to why she was wanting to meet in person. When she entered your office, she had a blank expression on her face and you were quick to notice the way her brows were furrowing as if something was on her mind. You were surprised when the question fell from her lips. 

“Please be honest with me. From one woman to another, you and Mark. You weren’t just classmates, were you?” 

You began to chew on your bottom lip and took a deep breath in before responding. “Did he tell you something?” 

She shook her head. “No. That’s why I’m here, asking you. His dad told my dad that he thinks Mark is secretly seeing someone. Apparently Mark’s been in a very good mood lately and I couldn’t help but notice it happened right after our meeting. Please let me know if there’s anything going on between the two of you so that I can cancel this whole thing. I don’t know what your relationship is like, but I don’t want to go along with marrying him if someone else is in the picture.” 

You began nervously picking at your nails and couldn’t look at her in the eyes. Although you knew that her and Mark weren’t actually together, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. But you didn’t understand why. It’s not like you and Mark were seeing each other. The two of you were just friends. However, she did have a right to worry about Mark interacting with another woman, even if you weren’t together romantically. If word got out that he was having an affair, both his and her father’s companies would receive a lot of backlash. So you could see why she wanted to know. 

“Mark and I were in a relationship almost four years ago. But I promise you, there’s nothing going on between us. What he and I had was in the past. We’re friends, but that’s all we’re going to be. However, if you don’t want to go through with the wedding, do it for yourself. Mark told me about the arrangement. You shouldn’t have to get married to someone you don’t want to marry for the sake of your father’s company. You’re still so young, I’m sure there are many men out there—“ 

She frowned. “You don’t understand how this works do you? Our engagement is already out in the public. Hundreds of businessmen invested in to both our companies because of it. We can’t stop the wedding for no reason y/n. Mark and I may not be a couple and we both probably will never have whatever it is the two of you once had. But he and I both were groomed to take over our companies one day and we are both responsible for making decisions that will benefit our businesses. Whether we like it or not. I’m asking you now, for the sake of your business and ours. I didn’t want it to come to this, but I won’t hesitate to take your restaurant down if you do get in the way of our wedding. If you know what’s best for you, leave my fiancée alone. I’ve also decided that we will no longer be needing your services. Thank you for your time.” 

With that, she took her bag and stormed out of the room, leaving you speechless. You sank lower in to your seat and your heart felt as if it was going to jump out of your chest. Erica was a very polite woman, but hearing her threaten your restaurant made your blood boil. You had no intentions of getting in the way of her and Mark’s wedding and if anything, it was him who was instigating everything between the two of you. 

As much as you cared for Mark, if you continued being friends with him, both you and him would suffer the consequences. It wasn’t Erica that you were afraid of. She was all words, you knew she was just trying to scare you. You were however, afraid of what both her father and Mark’s father were capable of doing if they did find out about your friendship with your ex. You teared up at the thought of losing him again; you were getting used to his presence and having him around, now you were going to lose him permanently. However, that’s what was best for the two of you. You typed out multiple texts, letting him know that you could no longer be friends with him, but you found yourself deleting the messages all-together. 

You couldn’t do it, you couldn’t lose him. Then the thought of your restaurant, your employees and all that you’ve been through to get to where you were ran through your mind and that’s why you told Mark that you could not continue your friendship and that you were no longer going to be catering to his wedding. As soon as you sent the text, you sank to your knees and cried for what felt like hours. It seemed as if every time you cried at work, Mark was the reason. 

You heard a soft knock at the door and you were too distraught to ask whoever was knocking to leave you alone. When Jaebum made his way in to the room, it all felt like deja vu. Just a few months ago, he was consoling you over Mark coming back in to your life. Now here he was, rocking you back and forth at the thought of losing Mark. He didn’t say anything and continued to run his fingers through your hair as your tears kept flowing down your cheeks. When Jaebum realized that you were no longer heaving, he motioned for you to look up at him.

“It’s because of that guy Mark again isn’t it?” You shyly nodded in agreement and Jaebum sighed. “Does it have to deal with his engagement, or is it personal?” You began to contemplate telling him exactly what just went down between you and Erica just a few minutes ago. As your main sous chef and best friend, he had the right to know. 

“Erica no longer wants us to cater to their wedding and it’s because she thinks Mark and I are having an affair.” You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. You could feel Jaebum frown against your neck but you didn’t want to act upon it. 

“I know you y/n, you’re not the type of person to do something like that. Or at least that’s what I’d like to think. But is her assumptions true? Are you and Mark back together again?” You were quick to disagree. You didn’t think your friendship with Mark was going to get in the way of their marriage, but if Erica was willing to cut you off from catering to the wedding, then it was probably serious. After taking a few minutes to get yourself together, you explained everything to Jaebum. From the time you and Mark started dating, to the night of his parents anniversary. Then you updated him on how the two of you became friends again and he just sat there as you talked like the amazing listener he was. When he felt like you were done going in to detail about the mess you were in, he spoke up. 

“You don’t still have any feelings for him, do you?” He took your silence as your answer and released a frustrated sigh. He wasn’t upset with the fact that you gained feelings for your ex boyfriend. It was inevitable. No matter what happened between the two of you and no matter how long you’ve been apart from each other, you could never forget your first love. Just like you, Jaebum was afraid of taking things further with you just in case it didn’t work out between the two of you. 

He wanted you in his life whatever way he’d be able to have you, even if it meant just being your best friend. For the three years he’s known you for, there was always a part of you that you hid from the world, including himself. He knew something must’ve happened to you prior to becoming friends with you, but he never wanted to ask about it. Seeing the way you reacted right after your first meeting with Mark answered pretty much all of his questions and he knew that there was a chance you were still in love with Mark. Jaebum was there for you through it all. 

He’s seen you at your lowest points, and he’s been with you through your highest. He was completely aware that you were such a tough person with a good head on your shoulders. However, after seeing you so fragile, so broken over what had just happened made him worry that not even he could fix you.

“Y/n.” You looked up at him with the saddest look on your face and Jaebum swore his heart broke in that very moment. “If it’s meant to be, it will be. Okay? Love will always find a way. You said so yourself, they’re in an arranged marriage and he’s told you multiple times that he’s still in love with you. If he loves you like he claims he does, then he’ll do whatever he has to do to make things right. Even if it means finally standing up to his parents and backing out of the wedding. If he can’t do that, then it’s obvious he doesn’t deserve you. And I’m telling you right now, if he ends up breaking your heart again y/n, I won’t hesitate to kick his ass.” 

You giggled softly in to his chest before placing a chaste kiss there. You honestly don’t know what you’d do without Jaebum. Your life was so much easier with him in it. Once he felt like you were completely calmed down, he stood up and brought you up with him. He snickered at your tear stained face and placed some of your hair behind your ear. 

“Come on, put on your big girl shoes and let’s get cooking. The guys and I feel as if we hardly see you nowadays and I know Mr.CEO has a lot to do with it. I hope he knows that the six of us will always be your favorite men. I’m obviously the number one man in your life.” You playfully pinched his cheek and put your hair up while Jaebum helped you with your apron. 

You tried your best to focus on cooking and the jokes the guys kept making throughout the day, but you couldn’t help the fact that your mind kept wandering to Mark. Did he get your message? Did Erica talk to him? How did he feel when you told him you could no longer be apart of his life anymore? The day felt as if it was dragging on and you couldn’t wait for it to be over with. Luckily, many customers seemed to come in, giving you a chance to focus on something other than Erica and Mark. Once it was time to close, you made a beeline for your phone and frowned when you saw all the missed calls and text messages from Mark. 

You weren’t ready to hear what he had to say, so you shoved your phone in your bag and packed up your things in order to go home. As you were walking towards the kitchen, you felt a gentle tug on your wrist. 

“I know you’re probably going to overthink if you go home tonight and as much as you want to be by yourself, maybe it’s best if you slept over my place. Just for tonight. We could watch a movie and I’ll make you some ramen. I’ll even give you my favorite hoodie that you love so much. Please? I hate the thought of you suffering alone. We can even steal some ice cream from the freezer.” 

You smirked in response, causing his grin to widen. “Fine. You had me at your hoodie. And ramen. Thank you Jaebum. You’re truly amazing you know that?” He playfully wiggled his brows at you. 

“Oh I know. I’m a catch. I hope you know I wouldn’t do this kind of thing for anyone else. Jackson still complains that he has yet to see my apartment. You’re special y/n and you mean a lot to me.” You were sure he could see the blush that rose upon your cheeks, but he didn’t say anything as he took your bags and led you to his car. 

The drive to his place was quiet, other than the soft jazz playing on the radio; but you liked it. It was a peaceful and calming kind of silence. Most of your rides with Jaebum would consist of loud music as the two of you would sing along to at the top of your lungs, but Jaebum knew that’s not what you needed right now. Once he pulled in to his complex, he walked over to your side and helped you out. Sometimes, you found yourself wondering how your life would be like if you and Jaebum were to end up together. 

He was quite the gentleman, he knew exactly what to do to make you laugh and smile like an idiot, he took such good care of you and wanted nothing but the best for you. However, your heart always belong to Mark and over the years, you continued holding on to a tiny string of hope that he would come to his senses one day and finally choose you. 

After entering his apartment, he quickly made his way to his room to get you something to wear as you took your place on his couch. You decided against looking at your phone for the rest of the night just because you didn’t want to ruin your time with Jaebum. The thought of losing Mark permanently sent an upsetting feeling to your stomach and you were sure he was doing his best to get in touch with you in order to prevent you from doing so. But there wasn’t anything you could do. The ball was in his court now. If he wanted it to be different this time, it was all up to him. 

“Here. I got you some sweats too if that’s okay.” You smiled politely at him and followed him to the kitchen where he began cooking dinner for the both of you. The night was spent eating everything his fridge had to offer while watching the first three Star Wars movies. He pulled you close to him and had his arm wrapped around your shoulder throughout the entirety of the night. You’ve always felt so safe in Jaebum’s arms and you were afraid of how lost you’d feel if you no longer had him around. 

Everyone and their mothers knew that Jaebum harbored feelings for you, it was painfully obvious and the guys made it known almost every day. You were afraid that knowing you were trying to mend your relationship with Mark would only ruin your friendship with Jaebum. If you had to choose between the two of them, you know you’d choose Jaebum. 

Mark chose his family that night, but Jaebum always chose you no matter the circumstance. When you called him and asked him to come work for you, he already had many offers on the table from well known restaurants that he’s never told you about, but he agreed to you in a heartbeat. When his ex girlfriend at the time didn’t approve of his friendship with you and had him choose between you and her, he broke up with her the following morning. 

In the first month after your restaurant opening, you hardly had any customers and you were so embarrassed. You didn’t know what to do. It came to a point where you wanted to give it all up, but the man whose arms were currently wrapped around you never let you do so. Jaebum had always known you were destined for greatness. You were the most hard working and passionate person he knew; so he did his best to put your restaurant on the map by handing out fliers, putting ads online and even handing out free samples to people. It didn’t take long for customers to start coming in and no matter how many times you’ve thanked him for making your restaurant what it was, he made sure you knew it was all because of your talent and determination. 

Your heart cried for the older boy. You wished you could return the same feelings for him. However, even if Mark didn’t come back in to your life, you were sure a relationship between you and Jaebum wouldn’t blossom. The two of you have known each other for too long to put your friendship at risk if something negative were to happen. 

You didn’t even realize you fell asleep on his shoulder during revenge of the sith nor did you feel the soft kiss that was placed against your lips as he placed you gently on to his bed. When you woke up the next morning, it took you a few seconds to recognize where you were; but you’ve slept over Jaebum’s apartment countless times to know you were in his room. The navy blue bed sheets and cream walls suited him. So did the Bart Simpson poster on the wall. You made your way out in to the living room and frowned when you noticed he wasn’t there. It was then that you realized what time it was and began to freak out. Did you really sleep until 11:30? It was practically already lunch time and you were about to lose your mind until you noticed the post-it note waiting for you on the counter. 

“Hey, I’m not too sure when you’ll read this and knowing you, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m home by the time you actually get up. I went to work. I didn’t want to wake you, you deserve a break after everything you’ve went through yesterday. I’ve prepared you some breakfast, it’s sitting in the microwave. You kept stealing all the blanket last night by the way, so you owe me one. Rest up and I’ll see you later. Have a nice rest of your morning..or afternoon.-JB” 

you smiled at his words before eating your breakfast and deciding to head back to your place. You didn’t want to take advantage of Jaebum’s generosity and you really wanted to take a shower. Since he was the one to drive you over to his place, you called for an Uber and patiently waited for it to arrive. 

In that moment, you took out your phone and finally began to read Mark’s texts and listened to the voicemails he left. As soon as you heard his muffled cries, you began tearing up yourself. He sounded extremely devastated. He had just gotten you back in to his life and he knew he was slowly gaining back your trust. There was no way he was going to lose you that easily. Mark knew what had to be done in order to win back your love completely and even if it took him years of being away from you and crying over you to come to this point, he was prepared to give up everything for you. 

His texts were filled with apologies but it seemed as if he didn’t know what to do either. There was no way he would stop being friends with you, but he too was afraid of what his father was capable of. Throughout the entire ride, you felt numb. You couldn’t think. Sure, you could beg and plead for Mark to leave you alone even if you both knew that’s not what you wanted. But you knew Mark, he wasn’t going to give up that easily. You just weren’t sure of what he had planned or how far he was willing to go for you. 

After the driver dropped you off to your building, it took all your energy to drag your body to the elevator. Your fingers hovered over his contact multiple times. It was selfish of you and you knew that you’d only make things worse by trying to reach out to him after telling him to leave you alone. However, the slumped figure that was sitting on your welcome mat made your head spin. Not knowing how long he’s been waiting there for, you found yourself running towards him and he was quick to lift his head up at the sound of your shoes against the concrete. 

Once his eyes landed on yours, he got up from his spot on the ground and didn’t hesitate to pull you in his arms. You felt so relieved yet extremely nervous to see him. What was he doing there? Was he not afraid of the consequences if Erica were to find out he continued to stay in contact with you? You felt tears against your neck as his grip on your waist only tightened. 

“Mark, what are you doing here? How long have you been waiting for?” You opened the door to your apartment and pulled him in, not noticing that he had yet to respond. Before you could ask any more questions walk any further, he turned you to face him and hesitantly brought his hand up to your cheek. “Mark—“ when you felt his lips against yours, it’s as time stopped and the room began to spin in slow motion. 

You knew it was wrong, but you’ve missed the sensation of his lips on yours. It felt so foreign, yet all too familiar and you didn’t realize how much you craved the taste of his lips until you deepened the kiss. Things began getting hot and heavy between the two of you, after not having each other like this in so long your bodies were reacting desperately and hearing his sweet moans sent warmth to your core. Unfortunately, red flags began to go off in your mind, causing you to pull away. He knew you were confused by the dazed look on your face so before you could say anything, he spoke up. 

“I quit today.” You looked up at him in shock. What exactly did he mean? He giggled at your blank expression before stealing one more kiss. 

“I’m assuming Erica confronted you and threatened you. She told me she went to see you and I knew something was up when she said she was no longer in need of your services. She began to belittle you and said rude things about you and I couldn’t take it so I stormed out of the conference room at her dad’s company and made my way to my family’s company. That’s also around the same time I got your messages and I was pissed. I know I don’t deserve it; I don’t deserve you, but I just got you back in my life. This is the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. There’s no way I was going to lose you again. Not if there was anything I could do about it. I made my way up to my dad’s office and let my heart do the talking. I told him I was resigning and refused to go on with the wedding.” 

He smiled gently at you and playfully booped your nose. “I chose you, something I should’ve done three years ago. My dad was furious and even started cussing at me. I’m pretty sure I’m disowned by my family now, but I don’t care. You’re all the family that I could ever need. I know, you probably think I’m insane for doing something so abrupt and not putting more thought in to it and I did it without even knowing how you feel. I don’t know whether or not you’d want to be with me. I can only hope and pray that you’ll take me back. Even if you decide that it’s too late for us, I don’t regret my decision one bit. In choosing you, I also chose myself. I don’t know why I allowed the wedding plans to get this far. I just felt like I deserved it I guess.”

He gently placed his forehead against yours and grazed your wrist with his thumb. “The thought of you made me realize that I’m so much more than what my parents want me to be. As much as I hated not having you in my life, maybe we needed this. I mean, I needed it. I learned my lesson. I’m a grown ass man, I have the right to make my own decisions. Even if it means going against my parent’s wishes. There’s so many opportunities I missed out on because it wasn’t something they would’ve been proud of. But I don’t give a shit about what they want anymore. It took me years to come to the realization that they couldn’t give two shits about my happiness yet I was so willing to do anything and everything they asked of me. I wanted to be the perfect son and I lost both you and myself in the process. Fucked up isn’t it?” 

You could feel him tense up at the thought of all he’s been through and you found yourself gently caressing his arms in attempts to calm him down. “You don’t have to say anything, I know it’s a lot to take in. It was a lot for me. I came here as soon as I left the company. I needed to see you and tell you everything. I’m screwed, honestly. I don’t have a college degree nor do I have much experience, but that’s not my main focus right now. I’ll worry about all of that later. You. You’re all that matters right now. I’m all yours if you’ll have me y/n. I can’t give you much. I can no longer provide for you in the ways that I used to be able to. But I can give you my mind, body, heart and soul. I’ll support you, care for you, love you. Do whatever you need me to do. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. I built thick skin during the time we were apart. I truly believe that God, for whatever reason that I will be forever grateful for, brought us together again and I couldn’t let you get away this time. I love you y/n and I’m sorry. I know that my apologies probably don’t mean anything to you, but I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m deserving of you and your love. That you’re all I could ever dream of. I’m going to do whatever I can to gain your trust again. We’ll take things at your pace y/n, that is if you decide you’re willing to come back to me.” 

For months after your breakup, you found yourself crying and getting drunk almost every single day in order to prevent your mind from wandering to him. It took you almost an entire year to come to terms with your breakup. You tried your best to lie to yourself, telling yourself that you hated him. That he was never man enough for you. That you deserved better. You made a promise to yourself that if Mark were to ever come back and beg you to return to him, you wouldn’t give in. 

However, the handsome man standing in front of you was different than the boy who failed to put you before his family. He was more mature, he finally realized his worth and no longer cared about what anyone other than you had to think about him. It took a long time, but you were over the moon to hear his sudden confession. You were glad he was aware that you deserved better. But you didn’t want better. You wanted Mark. For as long as time would permit you to have him for. Seeing the way he was looking at you with so much love and admiration in his gaze is the reason you found yourself reconnecting your lips together. You could only hope that he could feel the love you had for him through the kiss and as he smiled against the corner of your lips, you knew your message was received. 

“I love you too Mark. So much. I wish I could say I stopped, only because I was so upset with you. But I never stopped and I know I never will. You own this pathetic heart of mine. I know I deserve better, but I also know that you’re not the same person you were three years ago. I’m so proud of you for building up the courage and putting your foot down. God, you have such a way with words. I really don’t know how to respond to all of that. I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry you had to sacrifice practically your entire life for me, but I’m extremely happy you did. Like you said, you didn’t do it just for me, you did it for yourself too. I know it will be hard for you to start from scratch, but you’ve never failed to make me proud in all that you’ve accomplished. I’m sure you’ve gained a lot of knowledge working at the company. You could go to college and get your degree in architecture and maybe even start your own company. I’ll be by your side the entire time and I’ll help you in any way possible.” 

You smiled up widely at him and giggled when you saw tears form at his eyes. “You were always so sensitive, come here my crybaby.” You brought him towards your living room and laid on your couch, brining him down with you. He placed his head against your chest and began leaving soft kisses along your jaw. 

“You’re perfect, you know that? Thank you for taking me back baby. You won’t regret it.” To your dismay, he got up off of you and as you were about to complain about the loss of warmth, he threw you over his shoulder and playfully slapped your cute little butt. 

“Mark! What are you doing?!” He laughed as he made his way to what he thought was your bedroom. 

“Three years. I went three years without you and your beautiful body. I haven’t had sex in three years y/n, I’m sure I could be considered a born again virgin. I’m sex deprived, hell, I don’t even know if this thing still works. Give it a try babe. Don’t look at me like that. We have a lot to make up for, so be prepared. Why don’t you take out all your built up anger you’ve built up over the years and dom me princess—OW. Yes, I love the aggressiveness—okay I don’t find that kinky at all—will you stop that?” He threw you down on your bed and jumped on top of you. Your hands made their way in to his hair and gently tugged on it, earning yourself an erotic moan. 

Mark began leaving kisses all around your face before making his way down towards where you needed him the most. As he began nipping and sucking on your chest, he suddenly pulled away, earning himself a glare. However, his next words made your cheeks warm. “Thank you for coming back to me baby. This is only the beginning of our forever. Aw babe, don’t start getting emotional on me now. I was just seconds away from eating your pretty pussy and fucking your brains out—okay. You’re definitely gonna get it.” 

Before he could go any further, you cupped his chin with your fingers and made eye contact with him. “I love you Mark Tuan.” He kissed you passionately, as if his life depended on it before grinding himself in to your thigh. “I love you more y/n. Don’t you ever forget it.”

[marvelann]

So something happened and I’m feeling too humiliated to talk about it with my loved ones yet, hence me posting it here. Sorry in advance (?).

Disney+ is starting in Europe at the end of March and so is the customer service for it. I went through an interview for it because it actually looked pretty ok for a call center job:

-20000€/year for customer service representatives, 23361€/year for coordinators, supervisors and quality assurance agents (I was told that the interview was for the latter position).

-39, 30 or 24 hours a week morning, afternoon and night shifts (I was particularly interested in the late night shift).

-It involved working weekends but I didn’t really mind. I’ve worked in a call center before and racking up free days and going in short vacations is pretty easy and makes it somewhat worth it.

-It wasn’t a permanent contract per se, but after a short trial period you were supposed to stay until the service was over. So it’d put me in that neurosis state, I guess, “fuck Disney but also I hope this shit succeeds”, idk.

So I passed the interviews and they told us that we’d have to go through a two weeks training period, from 9 to 15 (Monday to Friday), take an exam on the contents at the end, and whoever passed said exam would be employed. They made us sign a paper that said exactly that, it all looked pretty legit. The training would be paid with the first salary.

All good, training begins. On the fourth day we found out that even though most of the people in our group had interviewed for the coordinators, supervisors and quality assurance agents positions, none of us were aiming for them, we were all to be customer service representatives. I was actually really interested in the quality assurance thing, so that was kind of a kick in the gut. Things would only get worse from there.

Last day on the first week they tell us that the service is from 8 to 24, so that’s goodbye to the late night shift also. They didn’t disclose any of this information willingly either, we had to pretty much chase after HR, as they were always in reunions or too busy for whatever reason. Ok, whatever. It still isn’t so bad, I have already wasted a week here and I quite like the people I’m going to be working with. I’ll push on.

Next week on Tuesday, I think? they tell us that the salary will be 19000€/year IF we can demonstrate we have a C2 level in English (or were natives in the language). For people who have B2 and C1 levels, they pay goes all the way down to 16000€. This is almost everyone in the class, mind you. At the end of the process only 5 people had a C2 level in English. They reached that conclusion with a shitty 20 minutes English test that had a couple of errors, btw.

This didn’t really affect me (I do have a C2 after all) but I still wonder why most people didn’t just fuck off at this point. It’s 4000€ less than the initial pay we were promised!! Anyway, tensions are high, HR is still avoiding us whenever they can. We don’t know shit about our schedules, although they did deign to tell us that they also needed workers in the afternoon shift, and that the people who originally said they had complete availability would have to be consistent with their words. Which is rich, considering they weren’t consistent with pretty much anything they told us. Oh, also there’re not 30 hours shifts in the end and the 24 hours shifts are for weekends only.

We get to Thursday pretty fucking frustrated with the whole situation, let me tell you. We all pass the exam and are told we’ll be discussing our schedules on Friday and signing our contracts on Tuesday.On Friday HR person comes around asking for some Social Security numbers she didn’t have yet. I’m sure I haven’t provided mine, and I tell her so. She tells me they did have it and I ask it to write it down for her just in case. As I’m doing that I mention that I don’t really trust much of what goes on in the building.

She gets the blankest, dumbest expression on her face and asks me, what do you mean? I just tell her that we haven’t been given any reasons to trust them so far and sit down. She leaves, after asking me why I’m even here if I don’t like it and the rest of the people in the class tell me I said exactly what everyone was thinking.

The afternoon drags on, they call us outside to record a video for the Disney+ workers in USA, all very corporative happy yey Disney, get back inside and HR woman from before asks if she can speak with me for a second. Tells me to gather my things. You can probably tell where this is going.

She gives me an opportunity to “explain myself” (???). I apologize for being rude and passive aggressive, but I don’t think I said anything that wasn’t true, and she can probably tell. She apologizes in turn because after this behavior she’s afraid they can no longer consider me for the position. She asks me to please leave.

I don’t know what to do, or even if I want to do something about it. I told the rest of the people in the training what had happened and they all agreed it was some messed up shit they pulled. One told me that blasting them on Twitter might work, since Disney is so concerned with its image. Thing is, I don’t even have a Twitter account and I don’t think I want those lying sons of bitches to take me back. I feel humiliated and like I was made an example of. “We’ll mistreat you and lie to you but you better never complain about it out loud, remember what happened to Iziar”, that kinda thing. I haven’t told anyone yet and my family keeps asking me when I am starting. It just sucks all around. Idk what to do.

Also I really hate how sly they were about the whole thing, they were clearly using the sunk cost fallacy on their favour. It worked though. I hate it.

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #166

Baseball season is in the air! Thankfully, you don’t need to be a fan of the sport to like this chapter. So long as you enjoy the stupid antics of a bunch of socially awkward teenage girls, there’ll be plenty of fun to be had. And of course, it wouldn’t be Watamote if they didn’t include a bunch of expertly intricated plot threads and natural character development as well. With all of Nico Tanigawa’s passions coming together once again, I can say that this chapter is definitely in top form.

So without further ado, let’s play ball!

Chapter 166: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Go Cheer

Tomoko getting flabbergasted just by Katou existing never gets old.

You know, I always had the impression that Tomoko wording things in the most perverted way was just a gut reaction due to her mind being perpetually in the gutter. But now, I feel like her answer here is just too on the nose to be anything but deliberate. IdiotPerv!Tomoko is hilarious, but TrollPerv!Tomoko is too powerful. 

Consequently, Tomoko can’t say shit without it biting her in the ass.

Okada with the save. Sure, she probably didn’t want to look like a slacker from Katou either, but still. If Katou’s the mom friend, then Pineapple-chan’s the exasperated, but supportive onee-san friend.

I just realized that this is a standard routine with these two: Yuri will say something tactless and Mako will call her name out in admonishment. If this has been going on since they first met, then Mako has boundless patience and/or is the absolute best friend that no person should ever take for granted. Not that 

Yuri does...mostly.

Y'all can tell that baseball fan Ikko had a blast drawing the backgrounds in this chapter.

Speaking of which, I’m 212% certain that Komiyama’s role in this chapter is to be the mouthpiece for Nico Tanigawa’s baseball fanatism. Given that it’s technically in-character (for who is basically their self-insert), and baseball chapters can only feasibly happen every hundred chapters or so, I’m fine with the mangakas taking these little indulgences.

Hey, let the girl live a little! Komi’s gotta cram ten chapters worth of dialogue she won’t get into one.

Pardon me, Tomoko, but you seem to have left your self-awareness by the entrance to the stadium.

Naturally, Tomoko hates that Komiyama isn’t making a fool of herself in front of her mom-crush. It’s easy to forget that so long as you don’t set off her berserk buttons, Komiyama is actually quite...normal. Like, being amicable with others and casually humble-bragging is her default state. 

Nico Tanigawa’s artistic habit of putting nicknames under faces always amuses me.

There’s being upset, and then there’s being petty. We all know that Tomoko is aware that Itou is in the band, and any other day, she wouldn’t hold that against the girl. But because she’s salty over Komiyama acting cool, her sensibilities revert back to Year-1 Tomoko logic. 

Now, if I were a more crass person, I could make the assumption that the majority of those underclassmen were a combination of girls admiring Fuuka’s “cool beauty” status and boys wanting to check out an attractive senior girl in a cheerleading outfit, discrepancies notwithstanding. 

But I won’t.  

Oh yeah, Miho. Based on the above cheers, she seems like your average popular girl, but if you recall, she got a kick out of Katou’s “offers” to Tomoko. That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a bit of a mean streak in her.

Btw...armpits? Okay, then...

You’d think that by now, Tomoko would learn some subtlety before pulling shit like this.     

Normally, I’d call Tomoko out for shenanigans since I thought she was mostly over the whole “slut-shaming” thing. But given how she wasn’t thinking this when the girls in her class wore cheerleading outfits during last year’s sports festival (that we know of), I can only assume that this is more of Tomoko’s jealousy due to Fuuka’s friendship with Katou.

Either that, or Tomoko just doesn’t want to admit she finds her hot.

I think we’re all in agreement that Ucchi’s gonna lose massive points for this.

On the other hand, the image of Emoji Girl screaming about Tomoko’s crimes through a megaphone is peak absurdity, and I’ve been laughing my ass off for twelve minutes. 

In all seriousness, I’m kind of glad that Tomoko is finally getting her way overdue karma for all her skirt-peeping. Sure, it’s all been played for comedy, but that doesn’t change the fact that its sexual harassment, or the fact that she’s more than likely gotten away with it for being female.

It’s all fun and games until your stalker calls you out on it.

LIES.

You know...maybe it is Tomoko’s fetish. She’s done it so frequently, and it’s always been portrayed as just another one of Tomoko’s “quirks”. But given the context of all those occurrences, having a skirt-peeping fetish actually sounds very plausible. Thank you, Yuri, for that insight. 

Looking at Katou’s expression, it might be her fetish, too...

Seeing Tomoko get more and more mortified as everyone keeps dogpiling on her shame makes for quite the cathartic reading. 

Add on to the fact that Komiyama, the biggest perv of all, is the most dignified at this moment just makes this whole chapter an absolute treat.

Considering that Tomoko basically just got outed as a pervert in the middle of a crowd of spectators, she’s taking this quite well. First-year Tomoko could’ve had a legit panic attack if that had happened, but now, she actually has enough nerve to retaliate. Sure, Tomoko had some decent ammo with the Tanabata wish, so she likely had more guts than she would’ve been, but it’s still impressive nonetheless.

Sasaki Fuuka–putting a new spin on the term “victim-blaming”. 

Komiyama can be the reasonable one while Tomoko is the crazy pervert, or Tomoko can be the reasonable one while Komiyama is the crazy pervert.

But the universe just can’t have both be reasonable or perverted at the same time. 

As someone who knows jacksh*t about sports, I have to admit that this is an interesting fun fact if it can be applied to the popularity of real-life sports teams and cheer squads.

I could totally see this becoming a meme in the Watamote fandom. Anyone?

These moments of zero dialogue, sometimes a whole page’s worth, excel at immersing the reader into the story. Suddenly, you’re not just reading about characters in a story. You’re now experiencing first hand what’s like to be at a baseball game, with a few familiar faces from the band and cheer teams making it feel a lot more lively. 

If it weren’t for all the wonderful peeps on Reddit, I never would’ve caught that this is the same baseball manager we’re seen periodically since the beginning of the series. You know, the one Tomoko did that fake dub for?

Perhaps I’ll call her...Beta!Nemo. 

A PSA to all you non-sports fans: You can now pretend to be interested in your favorite high-school teams just by tuning into your local service provider.

Go, Harajuku Makuhari!

You know, I think I mentioned before that I wasn’t sure what Komiyama’s career prospects were.

Now I’ve got a clue.

Yo, I could feel that pain from my screen.

For a second, I thought this was Reina, given we can’t see her eyes and that she’s manspreading (sounds like something she would do). But then I pictured her actually signing up for cheerleading and...yeah, no. 

Not to sound all pretentious if you already know, but cheerleading really is one of the most difficult, dangerous, and underappreciated sports there is. In addition to all the physical risks, you have to maintain an endlessly cheery disposition, even when it’s hard. That’s why I call it the “customer service job” of the sports industry.

The go-to method to keep your in-story sports team at peak realism: 

Unwavering mediocrity. 

As opposed to them hurrying up and win? Quite the pessimist you are, Tomoko...

not.

As startling as it is to hear these words come out of Tomoko’s mouth, it’s not entirely unfounded. For all her negative worldviews, crude behavior, and general apathy, the one thing that has always been constant about Tomoko is that she knows things can be better and she wants things to be better. She never got the chance to really strive for it back then when she had nothing to latch onto. But now that she’s got friends, Tomoko realizes that she can feasibly make some of those ideals a reality.  

Their unbridled admiration is sweeter than diabetes.

Insert long-winded discussion of a related social phenomenon that probably exists, but the author is too lazy to research here. 

She...didn’t deny it. 

Character development...I guess?

I was wondering where Tomoko would draw the line on her slut-shaming towards Fuuka. Granted, it’s probably easier to feel empathy when you can see that shit happening from other people rather than yourself. 

But seriously, Katou? Pimping out your friend? You terrify me more and more with each passing chapter. 

See what I’ve been getting at? Tomoko knows that realistically speaking, her summer is probably not going to be anything extraordinary. Inconveniences will occur, moments of boredom will arise, and missed opportunities will transpire. But as I’ve reiterated time and again, even those “plain” experiences can become delightful memories when shared with those you care about.

That’s going to be a crucial feeling from this point on, it looks like. ‘Cause based on Yuri’s expression, she may have the most difficulty resonating with that kind of emotion. Let's see just how Yuri handles an expanding social circle–Tomoko included–that’s a little more bright-eyed than she is. 

We’re in the seventh inning stretch of Tomoko’s third year, and time will only tell if it ends in a victory.

[chrisstevenson]

The Lows of High Book Prices

A thousand pardons if I come off like a rant. I'm a mashup between J.A. Konrath and Harlan Ellison. I'm a writer advocate and defender of the written word. I also watch the industry like a stealthy Sasquatch. These articles are always meant for Guerrilla Warfare for Writers, my down and dirty blog. There is no BS here. Maybe some inaccuracies. I don't even like posting these articles to my YA website--no one reads me there anyway. I hope you suffer me well.  

First and foremost, if you are a celebrity author you don't need to be reading this. If you are an A-list author, pass on by. If you are a very popular author with a huge reader fan base and have a enormous mailing list that draws purchasing customers in like flies, audios. If you have a break-out or bestseller, you can kindly leave by through back door. There will also be some outlier exceptions. This article is not a call to arms for you. You are profitable, consistent and probably comfortably set in the mighty realm of book sales.

If you are new to writing with a minimum number of releases, an old-time mid-lister like me with a ton of books out there, or a new writer launching your first book, I think you better read this and make some grave determinations. It's unlikely a publisher is going to read this, but I've been with and seen too many that need to know what is working and what is not as far as ad pricing. This warning goes double for authors who just don't care that their e-book prices are going to be placed high regardless. It goes triple (as of this writing) because of the corona virus and the financially stressed atmosphere it has created.  People are buying essentials. As far as entertainment, they are streaming movies and playing games. Who started the the rumor that they were buying books hand over fist? Do you remember when this news was sent out on the wings of doves at the very beginning of the pandemic spread?

I would like you to read three paragraphs (below) which come straight from the keys of most of the advertisers I know and have dealt with. The wording might not be the same but the implications all point to the same conclusion. They don't want your high-priced book. They want rock-bottom cover prices and freebies. The reason is twofold; Shoppers want bargains, plain and simple. That's why W-Mart and Amazon rule the nest. Yet the second reason is that the company itself doesn't want to lose a potential customer. That means you won't be coming back for seconds if there are flat sales. They are also competing with other promotion and marketing sites that have the same mindset policies.

Here's my statistics for two YA fantasy/thrillers that had excellent covers and blurbs. Both of these ads were run before and during a Halloween special (the horror factor was quite evident).. Both books were priced at $2.99.

Book one ran for 15 days on a $45 budget. It received 5,391 impressions; total clicks--5--and a CTR of 0.09%

Book two ran for seven days on a $100 budget. It received 10,195 impressions; total clicks --13 and a CTR of  0.13%.

I don't think I have to do the math for you. Except for the takeaway, which was $145.00 from me and some wide-eyed experience. I later changed companies, dropped the e-book price to .99 cents, and still fell flat--no sales. We could argue all day long about what I did wrong with these two companies. I did not stop there. I enlisted in seven of the companies listed below, with very low, rock-bottom prices. Please excuse my spelling on the names.

Just Kindle Books

Fiverr--bkknights

Fussy Librarian

FreeBooksie

E-book Hounds

Robin Reads

Kindlebook Review

Book Barbarian

Booksends

BookDealio

Ebookdiscovery

Ereader IQ

Ent

Book Reader Magazine

Pretty Hot books.

Out of my promotions, I received three apologies and full refunds. I think I sold two books from Ent. That was it. I won't go into which seven, but I did do my research beforehand. They were my best picks.  

Have you ever heard that it wasn't the gold miners who made money off their digs, but the merchants who sold them the supplies, tools, products and other services? We basically have the same thing going on here, with grandiose claims of the promotion and marketing companies talking about going to the top of the sales charts, breakouts, unlimited exposure and guaranteed results. Results. Not sales. Impressions and clicks are a normal state of business and you'll see them. What you won't see are voluminous click-throughs--buys, sales, mullah.

There are many Indie writers who are exceptions to this rule because they have targeted outfits that payoff for them. Might be some trade published out there too. This comes from a lot of trial and error--R & D--and it NEVER ends because the books can go through an insufferable amount of tweaking to fine-tune the results. This happens when an author watches his/her ups, downs and in betweens--the stats that govern peak sales. Self-published authors also get a larger percentage cut of the royalties than the small trade-house authors. Many of the elite Indie authors pay thousands for ads a months, but they reaps thousands plus in return. So it is a revolving door for them--huge investments that garner huge profits. You want to make money, you have to spend it. That's not my quote, lol.

Look, all I'm saying is be wise and careful with your expenditures. You are going to see, if you already haven't, self-proclaimed experts that can do all forms of editing, covers, formatting, book tours, pod-casts, trailers, page ads, listings, book-to-movie deals, screenwriting, agent introductions, publisher submissions, blurbs, illustrations, writing courses, query letters, one-on-one instruction, translations, ghostwriting, expedited (paid) reviews, synopsis's, proof reading, evaluations and all other manner of Internet blasting services. Can you pay for some of these services without losing your shirt or blouse? Sure you can! It's up to you. But be aware, unless you really need and believe in any of them, you'll lose out every time.

I often wonder if we are just giving our books away because the sea is awash with them. So many tens of thousands of books are published each year that the numbers keeps compounding and burying the authors under tons of pixels. Nobody can find you, lest you post on FB that you will commit suicide if somebody, anybody doesn't buy one of your books before you take that leap. Well, if it goes viral and you were bluffing, it would work. I think you get the idea. Dear gawd, I've often entertained the idea.

1. Your deal price should be as competitive as possible (This is a company motto BTW).

"We promise our subscribers the best deals available. The better the deal, the more appealing it is to our subscribers, and therefore the more likely it is to be selected by our editors/readers. We rarely feature books priced above $2.99, and even $2.99 is an unusually high price for many of our categories.(I JUST LOVE IT WHEN THEY SAY $2.99 IS UNUSUALLY HIGH).

"While your deal price should be based on your book marketing goals, pricing as low as possible will entice more readers to download your book. The lower the price, the higher the conversion rate of a Deal. Knowing this, our editors prefer books that are competitively priced, since those will drive a higher volume of reader engagement. They’re also able to select a higher percentage of discounted books. If you’re not selected for a deal between $0.99 and $3.99, consider resubmitting your book for a free promotion, as this can be a really effective way to increase your chances of getting selected.

"Keep in mind that the competitiveness of your price depends on your category. While it’s normal to see a higher priced book in Cooking, for example, prices are usually lower in the Mysteries or Romance categories (THOSE TWO ARE THE BEST-SELLING GENRES, BTW).. Browse through books in your category to see what’s competitive in your own genre. Again, if your book is not selected at one price, try resubmitting at a lower price or for free. Your chances of being selected will be higher."

Note the last sentence. They are going to select you in accordance with how profitable they think you can be.Sounds to me if you don't go low enough to suit them, they'll politely blow you off.

I've heard some positive news about AMS, BookBub featured ads, and in a blue moon, FB and Twitter boosters. I've used all but the grand daddy feature ad. While these might still show some profit, they certainly aren't working like they used to. Profit has measurably declined, and I mean this in a general sense.

What does my crystal ball tell me for the future? I can only take a wild stab at it and say that the heavy visual sites like Pinterest, Instagram, Tumblr and others are driving a wedge between the other competitors. They could be the wave for future book exposure. I know their swords are drawn against Amazon

Anybody have any solutions or ideas about gaining some profitability in this industry? I'd love to hear it. Or any promo/marketing site that has fulfilled your dreams. BTW, just like FB put the whammy on My Space, do you see another FB type site in the future? I dooooo,

Blessed wishes, please stay safe and healthy.

Chris and Christy.  

[roaring-screaming-20s]

Dream and Thoughts on Abandonment

Just had a dream where I got a call from the government saying that my "father" who abandoned me was getting sued for the child support he owed me. I was super excited because I am probably going to be homeless in a few days and I'm starving and life generally sucks right now. Somehow the dream escalated into me finally meeting my fathers side of the family (minus him) and they were super loving and it was really nice. I got to vent all of the horrible stuff I've been through as a child because I never had a dad and because I had no one to protect me. They all loved me and one had a face just like mine! They were great and fun and they brought shrimp for some reason. It was just really nice. I felt like I had family. It was really cathartic (is that the word?) The dream kind of shifted. Then I was back at their house in (Michigan, I think. Last we heard, he lived there). And next thing I know, grandma wants to know what happened, why did he abandon me, and how come she didn't know about it or something like that and she picks up the phone and calls him. And she wants me to talk to him! so in my customer service voice I say "Hi is this Brett Benson? And he's like "yes... this is my mother's phone who is this?" Still in my robotic customer service voice, "Hi Brett. This is your daughter." And then there's just like the most thick fucking silence, even in the room with all these people that I just met and adore. At first he thinks someone is pranking him. He says "Cheryl? Who is this?" And I'm like "No this is not Cheryl. I am legitimately your daughter". Silence. and he says in the most dumb duh fucking voice voice "Well... doesn't change anything." And I'm so angry. I can feel the hurt bubbling in my chest. I was one thousand percent sure that I was over this. I was over him. But I guess a small part of me wasn't. I had so many questions I wanted to ask him, so many buried feelings dying to come out. But you know what I do instead? I ask him where he lives now and where he works. He says Jackson. So im like "Jackson Florida?" And he says, "no Jackson lemonade [some state I dont remember]". And I wanted to ask him so many questions, like why he abandoned me. Why he left his daughter in bum fuck Kentucky with a narcissistic teen mom of two going on three. Why he never called. Did my mom lie? Did he know he had a daughter? Did he know my name was Nova? That I was molested when I was three, on top of his abandonment, cementing my phobia of men until I was 13? Did he know that I loved to draw and take care of animals and climb trees and shoot beebee guns at targets and ride horses and pretend I could fly? Did he know I had a stepdad that I thought was my real dad until he also abandoned us and knocked up a 19-year old? That I moved every few months from infantry to 1st grade because we couldn't afford rent? That mom was homeless for a year and I lived with my grandma? That for all of my childhood, except that year, I lived with cockroaches and sometimes rats? That I was a little christian girl that went across the street to sunday school every week? That I played football with the neighborhood kids? That I was a straight A student? That mom stayed in her bed most days because she was depressed? That I had cats and dogs and fish and even a goat once? That I went fishing? That I tried to find him and his side of the family on Facebook but after talking to my grandpa once, they all just went... Silent? Was that him? Did he stop them? Why did he leave me? Why did he never even ask about me? Why why why...

I had so many questions. But my hunger woke me up. And I realized of course it was a dream. In this world, kids like me don't get justice. Or answers. They just get swept aside like crumbs on a counter, forgotten, left in the crack between the stove and wall to mold and wither away.

(Btw all names are real and if you know a Brett Benson, Rodger Benson (grandpa), or any other Benson who lives in/near Michigan, please tell them I'm looking for them. My name is Nova Lee, and I'm Brett Benson's daughter. If you personally know Brett, punch him for me.)

[petty-revenge-stories]

Our sandwich making skills aren't fresh enough? Well we won't be serving baloney at this location anymore, ma'am.

This is a story about the little things in life, pettiness, sandwiches, and the price of being a shit person. TL;DR at the end.

I worked at a big (at the time) chain sandwich shop about a decade ago. I was a young fresh faced teen about as intimidating as a free pamphlet getting knocked around an empty parking lot by the wind. That would soon change.

There is me (Thatsanicedoor) 17yo, cool guy Manager (M) 29yo, lazy Owners Wife (OW) 40's, and shitty customer, let's call her Thin Lipped (TL) mid 30's because she always made that pursed lip face.

I had just started working at the store, getting used to the job and regulars. About the same time TL started to make herself known. She starts off being huffy and rude but we just laugh it off as her being a mid thirties, upper middle class entitled white lady. This is fine, we get them all the time and M plays Dawn of Ashes over the speakers sometimes so it is going to happen. She told us one day she came to our store because it was close and her young twins and husband loved it, but continued to be rude. Still, totally whatever. Then she starts to get mad and become a nuisance, her twins need the "Exact same thing! What do you mean you only have one small cookie left! I said I needed two", or we had to remake food because she didn't like the way it looked or she decided she did want lettuce after all. We keep her happy because OW doesn't tolerate unhappy customers and will drive her Mercedes SUV to the store and chew us out.

After a few months TL thinks she deserves extra special treatment because she is there 3 times a week, and now we can not do anything right in her eyes. She even refuses to let M make her food because she doesn't like him and wants it done by "someone else". Finally one shift she comes in when I am acting manager. All that means is I turned down Asst Manager because of twice the responsibility and a $0.15 cent raise, but they still gave me most of the management power. And after TL demanding we pull "fresh" food from the back and telling other people in line "how awful the service always is here", she gives me a hard time on the price (I had to substitute things on her order to keep her happy and it came out to be LESS than her normal charge which she didn't realize till 5 min of me trying to show her) then asks to see the manager.

It's my time to shine! Keeping myself from grinning, hunching over, and villian-style cackling I tell her that I am the manager on duty, and if she has any issues she can take it up with me. She argues! I confirm I am the acting manager, she glares and leaves. M thinks it is hilarious and OW is just glad she didn't have to come in and do anything. I feel smug because I pissed her off without breaking any rules.

We aren't even close to being done.

For (some) brevity here are the bullet points of what she does over the next few weeks.

Makes female coworker cry because TL berates her

Complains even MORE e.g. "This can of soda doesn't taste the same as from store X"

Talks down to M on her order total because he "isn't quick at math" and says she wants Thatsanicedoor to come do it. (btw she was wrong)

Brings her kids in, yells what she wants while chasing them around and holding up the line

Tells us how hard she has it with twins, a wealthy husband, and having to come pick up food for dinner

Often will not respond to questions and just stare at you, wide-eyed, tight lipped, and furious. Sorry I asked if you wanted a drink.

Threatens to call the health department

Calls the health department which gets us in trouble with OW. NOT because we were being unsanitary, M was strict about cleanliness. But because OW had to buy more cleaning products and replace old sinks.

And she still came to our store! I was on my last legs with this job. We had to do something. OW would just comp TL's meal instead of ever disrespect a customer! This was even worse because OW was rarely there and TL liked getting free food, but only OW was allowed to comp meals.

The perfect opportunity came after a few more visits from TL. OW and her husband are Indian, which only matters to contextualize the contempt they showed for people below them, and because, oddly enough, they seemed to hate other brown skinned people. I don't understand it but it has been explained to me by Indian friends as a thing. So one day we decide M will report to OW every time TL came in to build a "case" against her. OW doesn't trust M (Mexican) so she asks me (White) to confirm his story. And while most of stories are true, we stretch it a bit. Instead of "This store is run so poorly!" It became "Whoever owns this place does a terrible job and should be ashamed!"

It worked like a charm, OW was extremely offended and started to come in around TL's normal time to see for herself. OW stepped in one day as she heard TL going off and to help defuse the situation. But OW didn't know what she was doing and did an awful job making TL's (at this point) very complicated order. By the time they made it to the register they were in a shouting match. All the anger of being, uh, "insulted" by TL seemed to fuel OW's rage and finally told her to never come back to the store again. TL said she would take her business to the further store and that we were awful. But of course TL called and demanded to talk to the owner, and they met at the store and she complained about his wife (OW), the store, how her family loved the food and now she had to drive an extra 7 minutes to the next store. She let it slip that she had been demanding, and getting discounts on her meals because of our "poor service" which pissed him off and they had another shouting match in which she got banned from 3 more stores he owned!

The real petty part was how much we had to do to make her suffer just a little bit.

All in all she had to drive an extra 14 minutes, 3 times a week, and pay full price at a store that was warned to give her no special treatment.

Thanks for reading the whole damn thing!

TL;DR Customer is verbally abusive to employees. Fake Store Manager doesn't care. We say insults are directed at her. She cares. Customer banned. Then extra banned. Always toast your sandwich twice.

(source) (story by Thatsanicedoor)

[pettyrevenge-base]

Our sandwich making skills aren't fresh enough? Well we won't be serving baloney at this location anymore, ma'am.

This is a story about the little things in life, pettiness, sandwiches, and the price of being a shit person.

I worked at a big (at the time) chain sandwich shop about a decade ago. I was a young fresh faced teen about as intimidating as a free pamphlet getting knocked around an empty parking lot by the wind. That would soon change.

There is me (Thatsanicedoor) 17yo, cool guy Manager (M) 29yo, lazy Owners Wife (OW) 40's, and shitty customer, let's call her Thin Lipped (TL) mid 30's because she always made that pursed lip face.

I had just started working at the store, getting used to the job and regulars. About the same time TL started to make herself known. She starts off being huffy and rude but we just laugh it off as her being a mid thirties, upper middle class entitled white lady. This is fine, we get them all the time and M plays Dawn of Ashes over the speakers sometimes so it is going to happen. She told us one day she came to our store because it was close and her young twins and husband loved it, but continued to be rude. Still, totally whatever. Then she starts to get mad and become a nuisance, her twins need the "Exact same thing! What do you mean you only have one small cookie left! I said I needed two", or we had to remake food because she didn't like the way it looked or she decided she did want lettuce after all. We keep her happy because OW doesn't tolerate unhappy customers and will drive her Mercedes SUV to the store and chew us out.

After a few months TL thinks she deserves extra special treatment because she is there 3 times a week, and now we can not do anything right in her eyes. She even refuses to let M make her food because she doesn't like him and wants it done by "someone else". Finally one shift she comes in when I am acting manager. All that means is I turned down Asst Manager because of twice the responsibility and a $0.15 cent raise, but they still gave me most of the management power. And after TL demanding we pull "fresh" food from the back and telling other people in line "how awful the service always is here", she gives me a hard time on the price (I had to substitute things on her order to keep her happy and it came out to be LESS than her normal charge which she didn't realize till 5 min of me trying to show her) then asks to see the manager.

It's my time to shine! Keeping myself from grinning, hunching over, and villian-style cackling I tell her that I am the manager on duty, and if she has any issues she can take it up with me. She argues! I confirm I am the acting manager, she glares and leaves. M thinks it is hilarious and OW is just glad she didn't have to come in and do anything. I feel smug because I pissed her off without breaking any rules.

We aren't even close to being done.

For (some) brevity here are the bullet points of what she does over the next few weeks.

Makes female coworker cry because TL berates her

Complains even MORE e.g. "This can of soda doesn't taste the same as from store X"

Talks down to M on her order total because he "isn't quick at math" and says she wants Thatsanicedoor to come do it. (btw she was wrong)

Brings her kids in, yells what she wants while chasing them around and holding up the line

Tells us how hard she has it with twins, a wealthy husband, and having to come pick up food for dinner

Often will not respond to questions and just stare at you, wide-eyed, tight lipped, and furious. Sorry I asked if you wanted a drink.

Threatens to call the health department

Calls the health department which gets us in trouble with OW. NOT because we were being unsanitary, M was strict about cleanliness. But because OW had to buy more cleaning products and replace old sinks.

And she still came to our store! I was on my last legs with this job. We had to do something. OW would just comp TL's meal instead of ever disrespect a customer! This was even worse because OW was rarely there and TL liked getting free food, but only OW was allowed to comp meals.

The perfect opportunity came after a few more visits from TL. OW and her husband are Indian, which only matters to contextualize the contempt they showed for people below them, and because, oddly enough, they seemed to hate other brown skinned people. I don't understand it but it has been explained to me by Indian friends as a thing. So one day we decide M will report to OW every time TL came in to build a "case" against her. OW doesn't trust M (Mexican) so she asks me (White) to confirm his story. And while most of stories are true, we stretch it a bit. Instead of "This store is run so poorly!" It became "Whoever owns this place does a terrible job and should be ashamed!"

It worked like a charm, OW was extremely offended and started to come in around TL's normal time to see for herself. OW stepped in one day as she heard TL going off and to help defuse the situation. But OW didn't know what she was doing and did an awful job making TL's (at this point) very complicated order. By the time they made it to the register they were in a shouting match. All the anger of being, uh, "insulted" by TL seemed to fuel OW's rage and finally told her to never come back to the store again. TL said she would take her business to the further store and that we were awful. But of course TL called and demanded to talk to the owner, and they met at the store and she complained about his wife (OW), the store, how her family loved the food and now she had to drive an extra 7 minutes to the next store. She let it slip that she had been demanding, and getting discounts on her meals because of our "poor service" which pissed him off and they had another shouting match in which she got banned from 3 more stores he owned!

The real petty part was how much we had to do to make her suffer just a little bit.

All in all she had to drive an extra 14 minutes, 3 times a week, and pay full price at a store that was warned to give her no special treatment.

Thanks for reading the whole damn thing!

TL;DR Customer is verbally abusive to employees. Fake Store Manager doesn't care. We say insults are directed at her. She cares. Customer banned. Then extra banned. Always toast your sandwich twice.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.13: “Lebanon”

THEN: They hit me right in the face with gorgeous young 1.01 Dean saying "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and beautiful baby 1.01 Sam saying "we've got work to do" and we end with 14.12 and Sam furiously punching his brother and then furiously hugging him and Dean saying "let's go home" and does anything else matter? No.

NOW: We see the reflection of Sam and Dean walking up to a pawn shop, with a nice selection of guitars and sunglasses and that weird monkey that was in Rocky's Bar. The proprietor seems friendly enough. Dean flashes him a wad of hundred dollar bills because they're looking for "the really good stuff." This gains them admittance into a secret back room full of things hunters would be interested in, including a hockey mask (?) and a perfume atomizer full of dragon's breath. They tell the guy they're looking for the skull of a specific woman who was executed during the Salem witch trials, and the fact that he has it basically proves that he killed the friend of theirs who previously owned it. (Also Sam picks up a teddy bear and starts to pull the string to make it speak and the guys warns him not to and this is Dean's role, isn't it, messing with things he shouldn't be messing with? But I don't care because chastized Sam and eye-rolly Dean are precious to me.)

Sam goes through a ledger of the guy's inventory and says he's got a lot of occult objects that they should take with them. (Dean plays with the dragon's breath. Sam ducks and flinches and does the really, Dean? thing with his hands and face. I laugh again.) Dean agrees they should take the stuff home.

Title card!

The Impala zooms past a sign welcoming us to Lebanon, Geographical Center of the USA. Then we find ourselves in front of a movie theater showing Beetlejuice and Hell Hazers (All Saints' Day is coming soon, and I imagine Route 666 can't be far behind), where a group of teenagers is talking about... somebody. "People say they're brothers," a kid in a knit cap says, "but all I know is, I was standing right here, and I heard this bam from the trunk of their car. And then, this like, shallow breathing." I'm pretty sure this is a fake-out, and it will turn out he's talking about someone else, but the Impala pulls up in front of the theater and Knit Cap Kid says "that's them!"

As the Winchesters get out of the car and enter a liquor store (decorated with that Family Business neon sign from Rocky's), Sam is still reading the ledger, which lists things like a hangman's rope, fairy dust, and John Wayne Gacy's cigar box. Well, that's oddly specific! The guy working there greets the "Campbell brothers" and knows their usual order. Oh, wow. I love that they're actually known in Lebanon, and that they're going by Campbell. And we know that actual Lebanon, Kansas is too small to have a movie theater or this much business downtown, but I'm happy to handwave that.

What do you mean, "happy to handwave that?" You're always complaining about the inaccuracies regarding tiny Lebanon having traffic cams and whatnot.

Well, maybe this episode just MAKES ME HAPPY, okay?

Anyway. Sam thinks cataloguing the confiscated items would be a good way to take Dean's mind off "things," but Dean's pretty convinced nothing will ever take his mind off that.

Outside, the teens are asking where the guys even come from, and what about their weird trenchcoat-wearing sidekick, and "that kid with the dumb Bambi look on his face all the time" (!) One girl says that, whatever the deal is with these guys, they do have an awesome car, and no one can argue with that. And the other girl, Max, who seems to smitten with the first girl, gets an idea.

Inside, Sam has discovered something significant in the ledger - the "beyzoo" (no, I know that's not how you spell it), which is one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. A pearl that gives you "what your heart desires." Oooh, getting rid of Michael, maybe? But as the guys are discussing this, Dean sees the Impala drive by the window. Guess Max figured out how to impress that other girl! (BTW, there are couple of COOL old trucks on the street.)

The guys see Knit Cap Kid standing on the sidewalk looking confused, and while Sam tells him the car is dangerous to whoever stole it, Dean looks like he wants to murder someone. And yet the Winchesters are confused when the kid says he doesn't want to die. (Or get locked in the trunk!) He says Max is new and he doesn't know where she lives. Dean raises a fist, but Sam pulls him away.

MURDER. I'D MURDER THEM.

Post office. There's a poster of stamps featuring old cars behind the customer service counter. I'm really getting my old truck fix tonight. Sam comes in with his sweet anxious smile and asks for help finding the girl who washed his car, since he forgot to tip her. Post Office Lady is not amused or helpful, or the least bit swayed by his sweet anxious smile. Then Dean comes in and calls her by name and asks about her grandson and she MELTS and he gets sincere and puts his hand on hers and she does exactly what I would do, which is offer up ANYTHING YOU WANT, ANYTHING AT ALL, WOULD YOU LIKE MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WHILE I'M AT IT? Unfortunately, all she knows is where Max's mother works.

SAM’S FACE.

(Sidebar: Have I mentioned that Sam is wearing that nice blue jacket from the episode where he killed the alpha vampire? I like it. Toss that stupid orange jacket, Sam, and wear this more often. And Dean's wearing the black jacket that I always love.)

At the restaurant where Max's mom works, we learn that she has no idea where her daughter is, because she was supposed to be in school. But the guy working in the kitchen knows February 7 is Skip Day (is it always February 7? what about when that falls on a weekend?) and that she'll probably be at a party at this old house on Route 36. (Yes, I did confirm that Route 36 is just outside of Lebanon. Yes, I did use Mapquest. I'm old school up in here, y'all.)

Party house. The little batch of delinquents has taken all the boxes of occult objects out of the Impala for some reason. Including the evil teddy bear. Luckily, someone announces "pizza's here" before a girl pulls the teddy bear's string. At some point I've got to find out what would happen if you pulled it. Fic it for me, friends! (Also, I just noticed the teddy bear's mouth is SEWN SHUT and that's not creepy AT ALL.) The camera slowly pans to a wooden box, and we watch the lid open to reveal a smoky/dusty ghost hand. With a ruffled sleeve. Uh oh.

Knit Cap Kid runs in to warn the partiers that "those guys" are looking for Max, and he's told to chill. Another teen goes into the bathroom, where the mirror frosts over and then the CREEPIEST CLOWN EVER comes out of it. Seriously, creepier than the clown in Plush, which you wouldn't think was possible.

The Winchesters pull up in yet another antique truck, where Dean greets his car with "Baby, Baby, please tell me you're not hurt." Sam's more concerned about the boxes of dangerous occult objects missing from the back seat. Ghost Kid comes running outside and the girl following him tells the brothers that he saw a clown ghost that tried to kill him. Maybe it's my imagination, or maybe Sam has a flash of crap, a killer clown ghost expression before they run into the house.

Dean announces they're FBI and everyone needs to get out, now. Once the room is cleared, he asks if "anything screams clown to you?" Sam immediately notices John Wayne Gacy's cigar box and guys, I'm ashamed to say I didn't put the two together until now. The killer clown ghost is John Wayne Gacy. And Sam is freaked the fuck out about it. "We should burn that right now," Dean says, in a lovely holding-in-the-freakout way, and Sam rushes to throw it into the fireplace. Then Dean says "I mean, this is like a best worst thing that's ever happened, because you love serial killers, but you hate clowns" and I'm DEAD. (I'm also loving TWO gifts from the Continuity Fairy in once sentence.) The lights start flashing before Sam can get his lighter lit, and then the killer clown ghost shows up and tosses Dean around. Knit Cap Kid and the girls run back inside just in time to watch John Wayne Gacy's ghost go up in flames. So the kids get the "monsters are real" speech and are told to keep it secret.

Back at the bunker, Sam's going through the occult goodies and thinks he found the magic pearl. Dean's ready to use it right now, and dismisses Sam's suggestion that they call Mary or Cas. If it doesn't work, he doesn't want to have gotten their hopes up. Sam looks distressed at the idea it won't work, but agrees. The pearl doesn't come with any instructions, so Sam suggests Dean hold it and concentrate on what his heart desires. "Michael out of my head," Dean says, and I'd have been more specific. I'd have concentrated on Michael out of my head and destroyed, and me perfectly fine, but, well, what do I know?

(Also, I KNOW all you Wincest and Destiel fans are gonna have your own ideas about what - or who - appears in front of Dean when he’s granted what his heart desires. This setup is better than sex pollen. Have fun, my kinky little friends.)

Dean clutches the pearl and concentrates, and the lights flash and then go out, and in the red emergency light we see someone in the bunker. Someone fighty, who knocks both brothers down and then pulls out a shotgun and says "don't you move," but it's a familiar voice and then the lights come on and what do you know? Winchester Surprise!

So, was anybody truly surprised? I covered the guest stars on first viewing, as I always try to do, but I noticed on rewatch that they didn't even credit JDM at the beginning of the episode. Which they sometimes do, to avoid spoilers. And yet. Has there been a single episode of this series that was more spoiled? I don't think so.

(Sidebar: What do you think would have happened if Sam had taken the pearl and made a wish? I think Michael would be gone. Because I don't think there's anything Sam wants more than saving his brother.)

Back to our story. Everyone is shocked. John thinks Sam should be in Palo Alto, apparently in his 14th year of post graduate work. He thinks he's still in 2003, and he doesn't notice his boys are older. And they apparently don't notice that his hair is very short and a lot greyer than it was when we last saw him. (I mean, really, they slapped a wig on Samantha Smith to make her look like The Last Version Of Mary, so why couldn't they do the same thing with JDM? It's distracting.) Sam figures they must have accidentally summoned John from the past. So they do what one does in this situation - sit down and drink.

John's astonished. Dean's proud. Sam's visibly anxious. We don't get to see exactly how much of the backstory they tell him, but they do tell him about the apocalypse and Lucifer and living with "an angel and Lucifer's kid." And now John thinks he died "taking out Yellow Eyes," which... not really? But okay. And they don't tell him Mary's back, until he mentions her and Sam's, all, yeah, about Mom, and then she comes in and John hears her voice and tears up and dammit. This reunion is everything I didn't think I ever wanted. I mean, I've made no secret of the fact that I'm not a fan of John Winchester. He's a fascinating character and JDM does a great job with him, but he's such an awful father (don't bother arguing with me, you will not change my mind) that I can't really like him. And I'm not too impressed with resurrected Mary, either. But when these two come together... damn. It's good. It's very good. Well done, you two.

I love that the boys give them some privacy, because it's been over a decade since John saw them, but it's been even longer since he saw his dead wife, and this should really be a John and Mary reunion.

Out in the hall, Dean's gleeful and Sam's all, how the hell did this happen? Dean explains that he's wanted this since he was four years old (oh, my heart) but Sam warns that messing with time will not end well. I don't actually remember Sam being that concerned about the unintended consequences of time travel, but I'm sure there's a good reason he's bringing it up now. Dean doesn't care. Dean just wants one family dinner together (oh, my heart again, remembering his one last dinner with Mary).

Sam, sans Dean, runs into John in the library, because Mary's off making a shopping list and he decided he'd rather examine the bunker than be involved in that I guess? Okay. But then this happens.

I screwed up with you a lot, didn't I?

No, that's okay.

No, it's not. Sammy, tell me the truth.

I don't want to talk about that.

You didn't have a problem talking about it before you left.

Dad. For me, that fight, that was a lifetime ago. I don't even remember what I said. I mean, yeah, you know, you did some messed-up things. But I don't... I mean, when I think about you... and I think about you a lot... I don't think about our fights. I think about you... I think about you on the floor of that hospital, and I think about how I never got to say goodbye.

Sam. Son. I am so sorry.

I'm sorry too. But you did your best, Dad. You fought for us, and you loved us. And that's enough.

OH MY GOD. This is everything I ever wanted.

1. John admitting he was a crap parent to Sam.

2. Sam trying to sidestep that - because he's Sam Winchester and that's what he does - and John not letting him.

3. Sam finally calling him out instead of just saying nah, it's fine.

4. John calling him Sammy.

5. Sam pointing out that he didn't get a goodbye from John. (Did he ever find out that Dean got praise and an apology?)

6. John apologizing.

7. Sam forgiving him.

8. "And I think about you a lot."

9. The way Sam keeps having to stop talking and look away and make that little "hmmm" noise.

10. And the tears.

10b. The way Sam tears up even before The Talk, when he remembers them as kids trying to make Winchester Surprise.

11. The shaky voice.

12. And Sam's shirt.

13. And the way Sam's expression looks so much like his expression in Sacrifice, when he tells Dean that his confession was about how he let his brother down.

This, right here, is two minutes and 24 seconds of the best television I've ever seen. I don't care what else this episode does, this 2:24 is worth it. And yes, this is three weeks in a row that Jared Padalecki has ripped my heart out of my chest and STOMPED ON IT.

And I love it.

Meanwhile, Dean gets the shopping list from Mary. Sam finds him and tells him he's right, because Sam also just got everything he ever wanted, and then offers to go shopping with him. (Saaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm!!!!!!!)

When they get to town, the guys split up - Sam to the grocery store, Dean to the liquor store. Dean's surprised to see the liquor store guy, the one who remembered his "usual" earlier in the day, has no idea who he is. If Dean had ever seen "It's a Wonderful Life," he might say this is just like when George Bailey goes into Martini's Bar and isn't recognized. But apparently Dean Winchester, pop culture aficionado, has never seen that movie (no, I haven't gotten over that, and I never will) so he doesn't recognize a classic uh oh, we changed the course of history moment when he experiences it.

Meanwhile, Sam steps out of the grocery store and finds that neither Max nor the postal clerk recognize him. And then he sees a wanted poster in the post office window. Dean Winchester, wanted for assault, murder, and credit card fraud. Whoops! He trots to the car, where Dean is waiting, and tells him they have a problem. "Yeah, we do," says Dean. "Check this out."

He shows Sam his phone and it's a video of SAM IN GLASSES AND A BLACK TURTLENECK AND SLICKED BACK HAIR GIVING A TED TALK. HE RUNS A LAW FIRM AND LOVES KALE. IT IS THE SECOND MOST AMAZING THING I'VE SEEN TONIGHT.

HE'S STEVE JOBS.

So, those of you who were spoiled... did you know about this? Or did they actually keep THIS AMAZING THING under wraps?

Sam Jobs tells his audience that being your best leaves no time for hobbies or a family, and Sam has seen enough. He tells Dean about the wanted poster, and Dean says yes, of course he googled himself too ("a lot of beheadings," hee!!!) and wonders if there are alternate versions of them running around. Sam thinks it's a "temporal paradox," and time is self-correcting, changing to the new one. If they don't fix things, they'll become those alternate versions of themselves. "Well, I'm cool," Dean says, "but you're, ugh." Sam's less worried about them, and more worried about what else might have changed.

(Sidebar: You know, I could quibble about why bringing John forward in time has such a significant butterfly effect, but bringing Mary back, and their other time travel, and Henry's time travel, changed nothing. I absolutely could. But I choose not to, because SAM JOBS, Y'ALL. But okay, let's think about it. 2003 John would have disappeared while Sam was at Stanford. Dean wouldn't have gone to get Sam. Or Sam would have refused to go. Maybe the hurt on both sides was still too fresh. Maybe that's why Dean's hunting alone, and Sam's an internet-famous lawyer.)

What else has changed, you might ask? How about ZACHARIAH? That's right, my favorite angel is back. And with him is ORIGINAL FLAVOR CAS WITH HIS FLUFFY HAIR AND THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. Zachariah calls him "Constantine" and Castiel says "I don't understand that reference" and THANK YOU BABY JESUS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS, BUT THANK YOU. They enter Max's mom's restaurant and ask who's been messing with time. (Because she would know?) And if they don't start talking, he'll have Cas murder all of them. "My name is Castiel," he intones solemnly. "I'm an angel of the Lord." YES YOU ARE. He reveals himself like he did to Dean (no, not like that, jeez) with the shadow wings. Outside, the Winchesters see the bright light of an angelic reveal coming through the restaurant windows, and they know something's up.

They herd everyone out of the restaurant, and are shocked to see Cas and Zachariah. Zachariah is equally surprised to see them. He says they had big plans for the Winchesters, but then their father disappeared and... and he doesn't finish, so we'll never know why yoinking John out of 2003 changed any of that vessel stuff. (Handwave!) Cas, of course, doesn't know them, and when Zachariah orders him to kill them, he complies.

Dean pulls out an angel blade but is, of course, unwilling to actually kill Cas, so he starts hitting him with other things. And Cas, for whatever reason, doesn't just put a finger on his forehead and kill him dead. (Handwave!) Zachariah chokes Sam and asks him what they did, even though he can't talk because he's choking (handwave!) and Sam acts like he's trying to speak so Zachariah gets closer to hear him, and Sam stabs him with an angel blade. Cas continues fistfighting with both of them, and slams Sam head-first into a table a couple of times, leaving him spitting blood on the floor. Which Sam uses to paint an angel-banishing sigil while Cas is choking Dean. Smart Sam for the win!

Bunker. Pretty bruised Dean has explained the temporal paradox, and John accepts that he has to go back, or else Mary will probably disappear. "Okay," he says. "I mean, me versus your mom, that's not even a choice." DAMMIT JOHN WINCHESTER DO NOT MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOU. Elsewhere, pretty bruised Sam explains it to Mary, and tells her John won't remember anything.

John tells Dean he never meant Dean to have this kind of life. He's proud of him, but he hoped he'd be able to have a normal life, with a family. "I have a family," Dean says. They sit down and have one final family meal together, and everyone's quiet and sad until John points out that they can either think about what's going to happen, or appreciate what they have right now. They cheer up and listen to Bob Seger (well, we listen to Bob Seger) and talk and laugh and have the family dinner Dean has always wanted.

Later, while doing the dishes, Sam says how unfair it is that they all had this and then have to throw it away, and John has to go back to being Dad. He thinks it would be nice for John to go back knowing what he knows now. "I used to think that too," Dean says, and admits that he's blamed both John and Mary for their crappy lives. And if they could send him back to 2003, or even earlier, maybe none of the crap would happen. "But here's the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I gotta be honest, I don't know who that Dean Winchester is. And I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are."

Later. Mary and John are holding hands, and I guess they're doing the thing now. I'd hoped they'd at least let these two have one last roll in the hay (especially since I'm pretty sure Mobby is permanently done after this), but no. They have a very sweet goodbye and their sons are brokenhearted and I am too. John tells his boys to take care of each other and Sam says "we always do." That's a nice change from telling Dean to take care of Sam, isn't it? He tells them both (BOTH) that he's proud of them and loves them, and they have a three-way hug and Sam wipes his eyes and Dean says "love you too" and I REALLY CAN'T, BOYS, YOU HAVE TO STOP. Then John takes Mary's hand again and Sam crushes the pearl (why does Sam have to be the one to do it?) and John glows and then fades away.

We get a quick glimpse of downtown Lebanon returning to normal, and the three teens talking about how cool it is that "those guys hunt monsters," and then we're back to the bunker. Cas walks in the door and sees the remaining Winchesters, obviously distressed, and asks what happened. "Well, there's a story," says Dean.

And finally, we see the Impala WITH HER ORIGINAL KANSAS PLATE. John's asleep in the driver's seat when he gets a phone call from Dean. "No, I'm okay, I just had one hell of a dream. No, it was a good one."

GUYS. GUYS.

When I heard there was going to be a musical episode for the 200th, I was sure it would suck. When I heard about the Scooby Doo crossover, I cringed, because I knew it would be awful. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO WRONG.

Eh, who cares why. Let's just appreciate what we were given. Happy 300, my friends. Here's to 300 more.

(Please help me stay unspoiled for future episodes, thanks!)

[dayswithmandy-blog]

Another day at the office

Life as a retail manager is pretty fucking interesting especially when you're in the high end fashion industry. You meet some weird people and by weird I mean...you meet some who you can't confirm if they are human or not, you meet the devils advocates, you meet the ones who are actually convinced that they are Jesus Christ. Fuck the other day some dude was telling me some whole story about how Chris Brown is his cousin like that's a fucking good thing? Ya so...you get it. They come. Stir up a problem, just to get an evil rise out of you to get what they want. I personally enjoy the fuck out of these guys, they're so much fun to mess with. Today I was called over for a customer complaint. The woman was maybe 50 something years old. She wanted to return a dress with no receipt however she had the tags on it. Sure, fine, not a problem, usually simple. No, not today son! This chick literally took a tag from a $1500 crew neck Gucci dress (btw it's so sick, link at the bottom) and put it on a $20 dress. Like excuse me wait WHAT...as I realized I was stuck in-between the mindset of " damn this is pretty fucking genius and how many fucking idiots have fallen for this". At least put a no-name branded tag but nah, well just stick with Gucci. I kindly explained she must have made a mistake very well knowing she did not and purposely attached these tags so it would scan and give her $1500 back for her dress she probably got at forever 21 to wear for New Years 3 years ago (tbh that could be an accurate statement) This lady somehow turned it around on me. That I WAS THE ONE who put that Gucci tag on it and I WAS THE ONE who made the mistake. Ok hold up, I'm gunna tell you right now. These people honestly mid fuck you so hard you literally start getting confused as to what's even real. As this lady is throwing a fit claiming I was the one who put the wrong tag on a dress I don't even sell, I do my favorite thing....ask for a FULL explanation. Guys, these explanations are so epic there's not even a word that's good enough to describe them. Some of these customers deserve the "most creative" award. I'm serious like I really want to give them a fucking award for their acting job. This story is great, here we go. She begins to tell me that her mom went to Italy and accidentally brought her dress with her therefore she was unable to return it until her mom was back in the U.S. ahhh there we go, makes sense right? She couldn't return her random dress that happens to have. $1500 tag on it cause it was in Italy, got it. Her mom tried her best to mail it to her but it was sent out and returned back as the "wrong address" frustrated she realized she had to wait until her mom was back. It was possible that the tags got "mixed up" at the airport. (Insert mind fucked emoji) mind you at this point she's still expecting $1500 back. I finally put a stop to it. There comes a point guys where in conversations like this the story just starts sucking and isn't entertaining anymore. She grabs the item out of my hands like she's trying to rip my heart out, takes my card and said she was calling corporate on me because my customer service was "terrible". I get a call from my boss to come to her office. Not again man. I start to explain to her the whole story and she stops me and says " this company doesn't tolerate racism" and that fact that I called her a "broke ass n*****" is a friable offense and they were going to take "extreme measures" on the situation.DEAD. How does kindly telling a woman that she was trying to return a dress with a Gucci tag on it racist? So I said "wait so you're telling me I got a complaint that I called a 50-something year old white woman a "broke ass n*****" she responds "please don't repeat that statement but yes". I sat there in front of all my bosses dying laughing like a 16 year old who just smoked weed for the first time. Just when you thought you've heard it all, you probably didn't know that refusing a customer return has now become the new way of being racist...But now you know.

[cameronspecial]

The Spider-Man Who Stole My Heart (Ch.1)

Disclaimer: I started writing this story on Wattpad but decided to write continue write it here.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Mom!Reader

Summary: When Tom helps a lost little boy, he did not expect his mom to be so young. Once they get to talking, Tom realizes she may be the girl of his dreams, but what happens when she is not ready for a relationship.

Waring: Language, Maybe?

Word Count: 1125 (I’ll try to make them longer as the chapters go on)

Chapter 1

When I got up this morning, I did not expect for my life to be turned upside down like it did.  One of my hands was looking through the rack of shirts, while my other hand was holding my son’s hand. “August, what do you think about this shirt?” I ask my two year old son as I hold it up to me. “It looks nice on you, mommy,” he complements in his cute little British accent. “I’ll get it then” I say as I went to pay. With the bag in my hand and August holding my other, we walked outside the store and into the busy mall. “Auggie hold onto my hand tight, there is a lot of people here,” I tell him as I tighten my hand around him. He nods his head and tightens his grip as well. The mall was packed because of all the sales going on and some people were getting pushy, just to get to their favorite store. Someone from behind us was getting pissed at our slow pace and shoved me to the floor. I feel August’s hand leave mine; I look up and see he got caught up in the crowd. I start to panic while I chase after my child, who was lost in the crowd. “August, babe where are you?” I yell out into the crowd. Of course, he didn’t respond because it was probably too loud to hear me. I didn’t know what to do, and I was so scared.

I was sitting at the water fountain scrolling through Instagram, when I felt a little hand tug on my shirt. “Excuse me, Mr. Parker. I lost my mommy and I am scared, but you’re Spider-man. Can you help me?” the little boy requests with tears running down his face. He had (Y/E/C) eyes and (Y/H/C) hair; he was a cute little boy and thought that I was actually Spider-Man. He was wearing a Spider-Man shirt and shoes, he reminds me of me when I was little. I put my phone into my pocket and try to calm him down. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll help you find your mommy bud. What’s your name?” I take his hand into mine, so I don’t lose him in the crowd, while I look around to see if anyone was looking for someone. “My names August,” August announces. “Well August, what does she look like?” I inquire. “Hey, Tom!” I hear someone say from behind me. I turn around to see Harrison walking over; I was meant to meet him here. “Hey, I just need to help August find his mom and we can go to lunch,” I clarify to him. He nods and we here an announcement coming from the intercom. “August (Y/L/N), your mother is here at customer service. Please find a security guard, who can help you there,” it announces. “Is that you?” I ask him. “Yep, let’s go see my mommy,” he smiles. We head over to customer service and see a beautiful woman standing there looking nervous.

After they had made the announcement, I stood there hoping the security can find my baby boy. “Mommy,” I hear August scream. I look over to the side and see that he was running over to give me a hug. I wipe my tears from my eyes; I pick him into my arms to hug him. I kiss his face and look over his shoulder to see who brought him over. I could not believe my eyes, standing behind my son was Tom Holland, the actor who plays Spider-Man. I have loved Spider-Man since I was a little girl, as I grew up, I just felt like I could relate to the character the most. “Mommy, I met Peter Parker, but shhh he doesn’t know that I know he is Spider-Man. He helped me find you, just like the hero he is!” Auggie tells me with excitement in his eyes. “Well, that’s nice of him. I don’t we go thank him,” I state as I carry him over. “Hi, I’m (Y/N). I just wanted to say Thank You for bringing August over. I was really scared. Now you must think that I am a terrible parent for losing my son, but someone knocked me over and I lost my grip on his hand. And then I couldn’t find him in the crowd of people because he was little. I was so nervous that something happened to him. I am so sorry, that I am rambling on. You probably have better things to do,” I say nervously. “You’re Welcome, and I don’t think you are a terrible parent; the mall got pretty busy. My friend Harrison and I were going to go to lunch. Would you like to come? “Tom inquires. “Please, mommy, can we go?” August begs me. “That would be lovely,” I reply.

On our way over to the restaurant near the mall, Tom and Harrison introduced themselves to us. Of course I knew who they were, Tom was my favorite Spider-Man, but I didn’t tell them that because I didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. We ordered our food and continued our conversation as we waited for it. “Mr. Parker, can I ask you something?” August asks as he coloured. “Anything bud and please call me Peter,” Tom answers him. “Do you ever get scared when you fight the bad guys?” Auggie asks whilst looking up from his colouring. “Well, sometimes I do get scared, but then when I think about all the people I can save and it gives me confidence,” Tom explains to him. Before the conversation could continue again, the waiter came with our food.

“Here is my number, I would love to do this again. Maybe without August though not that he isn’t great, but maybe it could be a date? BTW, I know you know who I am. August told me on the way to customer service. I really appreciate that you didn’t freak out,” I told (Y/N), while giving her a paper with my number on it. “Oh, listen. It’s not that you aren’t a great guy, but I just don’t think I am ready to date again. After what happen with August’s dad, I think I just want to be friends,” she explains to me as she took the number. “Yeah, that’s okay, being friends would be great,” I say a little disappointed. They wave goodbye and walk in the other direction. “Look who just got rejected,” Harrison mocks from behind me. “Oh, shut up mate. Not like you never got rejected before,” I retort back as we both laugh. I really hope that I can change her mind; she really seems like the one.

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Sorry if this sucks, but this is my first story on Tumblr. I hope it was good, though.