#i did not like the show very much but my brain decided to hyperfixate on it anyway so here i am

[taco-bell-chipotle-sauce]

i’m hyperfixating on Wednesday atm so i made a playlist, go check it out or whatever

[wannab-urs]

Gin's 2023 sappy post

It's hard for me to believe that at the beginning of this year, I didn't know a single one of my best friends in the world existed. But it's true!

How we got here

I'm not quite sure exactly when I started looking up Pedro Pascal on Tumblr, but it was sometime after February. I'd watched Game of Thrones and Oberyn was my favorite character, but I was in one of my periods of not being on Tumblr (I've had this account for about 10 years, but it's seen many fandoms and I haven't always been active).

I watched the first few episodes of The Last of Us that had come out - I was 3 episodes behind I think - and immediately looked up Joel Miller on Tumblr. How could I not? Anyway, give me ten minutes on this hellsite and a middle aged man with a huge imdb and watch me develop a hyperfixation.

So then I looked up interviews. I watched basically every interview this man ever did, but I remember that the Lie Detector interview and his appearance on the Talk Easy podcast are really what did me in. I went from admiring this man as an actor and thinking he's pretty to basically being in love with him.

Anyways....

I didn't mean to start reading fanfic? I come from the world of Destiel on AO3. I never wrote it, I just read copious amounts of it. I'd never read reader insert, much less straight reader insert, and I'd never written a word of anything even resembling a fanfiction.

But I found @prolix-yuy, @frannyzooey, @joelscruff, @fuckyeahdindjarin, and @ezrasbirdie (check the spreadsheet, y'all are at the very top!) and I was hooked.

Then I read Psychomanteum by @whatsnewalycat and Celestial Navigation by @write-and-buried and was inspired to parade my trauma around in a Dieter shaped trench coat: AGOY was born.

@beskarandblasters is the first person I really talked to on here. In fact, Kel is the one who introduced me to most of my friends on here. And we've been harassing each other on the daily since. I hope to 🦵 her in real life someday soon ❤️. I love you, bitch. You mean the world to me.

I could never ever ever list all of my dear friends I've made on here. Seriously, there are so many of you that mean the world to me. But I'm gonna list a few.

My cannibal crew @pr0ximamidnight and @atinylittlepain, without whom Love as Violence Dave (starving season), Head up his Ass Javi (in the a.m.), and the later editions of loser druggie Dieter (AGOY) would not exist - or at least they wouldn't be as good as they are.

My darling soup snake, the loml, my spider twin, my forever partner in making bitches cry (it's us, we're bitches, making each other cry in an endless loop) @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin. #1 AGOY stan forever, you may love my own magnum opus more than I love it. Thanks for listening to me scream about every pedro boy on the planet and thanks for screaming right back at me. I love you.

The random college student I found by accident, decided to take under my wing, and then was subsequently taken under their wing bc it turns out they have more fandom experience and life advice than I can ever hope to have @idolatrybarbie. Bea, my darling, thanks for always letting me bitch, for showing me fics I never thought I'd be into (The Santa Claus AU Frankie Morales Free Use Kink, anyone) but that I often was into, for encouraging my writing, and for being fucking real with me.

The pedrostories crew, but especially @pedrorascal - I love screaming about Pedro with you at... 2:30 in the morning my time (we love time zones!). Thanks for letting me be a terrible mod for your fic archive blog and never getting mad at me for not doing my job. And for being a wonderful, kind, amazing person all the fucking time.

I'm being so serious when I say I could list at least 20 more people. People who brightened my day with a reblog or a message. Or who wrote a fic I still think about at least once a week. Or who made a gifset that is permanently etched into my brain. People I talked to in discords and most likely trauma dumped on and they listened and they cared and they let me hold their trauma in return. I love you guys so fucking much.

Conclusion

I never could have imagined I'd be a writer and run a fic rec blog at 24. Especially not for Pedro Pascal Characters. But here we are -- and I can honestly say it has been the highlight of my year. And I bought a house this year.

I have so many new friends and a new hobby (I never wrote at all before this) just because I wanted to Fuck That Old Man. Incredible.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think i need to explain why this line makes me go so feral

I think the "fine! I'll kill myself after I kill you" line from nie mingjue in chapter 49 permanently altered my brain chemistry and it has something to do with precisely how i got into the mdzs fandom space in the first place.

I've mentioned it a few times but i started watching the untamed in late 2019 right as it was blowing up everywhere and, likely due to a combination of undiagnosed adhd wrecking my ability to be interested in anything for longer than 4 seconds and me very much not being used to the specific style of acting, especially during fightscenes, i never finished it. The only concrete memory i have of it is seeing wen qing's face and meng ziyi completely short circuiting my little gay brain. I remember more of staring endlessly at pictures of her than I remember of the plot. Press F to pay respects.

Flash forward a few years and a friend recommends me a fic writer for an fma fic (the fic riter in question is metisket) and i like their stlye so much i decide to read other stuf they've written. Here we get to our prime suspect: "the one body problem" a genuinely hilarious fic where jingyi gets posessed by wei wuxian like a year before the plot happens and they become awkward brain buddies. 10/10 i loved it (and still do) even though i remember huasiang showing up in my first reading and I, having fully forgotten his name, had no fucking clue what was going on. (Little did i know...)

Anyway flash forward ANOTHER year and I decide to reread that fic, and then the other untamed fic metisket wrote, a wen qing time travel fix it that's also real fun. And then i'm like. huh. that's fun. wonder if there's anything in their bookmarks.

And then, within 20 days, I had read approximately 350 fics. Many of them 100k+ words. I cannot stress enough how much this CONSUMED my brain's ability to do or think about anything else. I now think back to the early days of getting my adhd diagnosis and insisted that while i had pretty much all other symptoms, I did not get hyperfixations. Lol. Lmao, even.

I am mainly focused on wangxian and the junior quartet becuase they are my baby ducklings and i love them. I do come across some 3zun fics and I think huh... this is interesting. But the 3zun brainrot is LIGHT at this point.

The thing about reading more than 350 fanfics is that at some point you kind of piece the plot of the source material back together backwards. Especially because my favorite genre was time travel fix its, where characters relive the whole plot and like to make allusions to all the ways everything went wrong last time.

Because I'm still squarely in my wangxian + juniors (plus a heavy dosis of yunmeng sibling reconciliation) corner here... the feelings on jin guangyao in my fandom corner are. different from where I'd end up soon after. He is my special little guy though, so I do kind of immediatley develop a fondness for him, and I approach my 3zun and early nieyao thoughts specifcially from the assumption that the widespread opinion is that nie mingjue is a fine good guy and jgy is the evil one (I have not seen the bad nmj takes yet. well... I am seeing DIFFERENT bad nmj takes but they're nice to him. In, like, the wrong way. With no solid undertanding of the inherent tragedy at the heart of him that makes him so blorbo to me. But still.) major reactions to the stairs scene as I see them on twitter are "girlboss! He should've kicked him harder 💅"

And the baby jgy apologist in me goes :/ me no likey. And at this point I am also actively seeking out metas and analysis posts so i'm seeing some better opinions than that and getting a halfway solid graps on the themes. wwx and jgy being foils becomes very obvious to me very quickly. So, with my curent understanding of the plot, I go... you know all you people who are like "god i wish nmj would have killed jgy sooner" it uhh... kinda sounds like he'd have died if he did that. If he'd killed him before meng yao had gone off to spy there is a very big chance they'd have lost the sunshot campaign and most of the main cast would be dead. If he'd killed him at the stairs that's... well that's killing your sworn brother, which by the canon's own admission is a universally reviled crime, and jin guangshan could easily take advantage of this by demanding nmj's head in retribution, since he already wanted to get rid of him anyway. He doesn't give a fuck about a-yao of course but he could pretend well enough that he does. And what leg would nmj have to stand on? The jin clan is canonically both willing and able to slaughter entire clans for the murder or attempted murder of the leader or his family, and nie mingjue is the kinda guy who'd immediately offer himself up if it meant the rest of his clan would be spared.

This combined with jin guangyao specifcally dying for his murder of nie mingjue, with huaisang basically not caring much about everything else he does and wanting to get revenge only for his brother, it gives nieyao a sort of mutual doomed soulmates feel. For either of them, killing the other would spell death for themselves. They either both die or they both live, one cannot live on without the order. That's crunchy. I like it.

The fire palace though? well, on meng yao's part there is a real argument that if he'd let nmj get killed immediatly instead of dragging it out he wouldn't have been able to get wrh alone and distracted enough to assasinate him, so that's one half of the mutual doom coin, and if nmj had killed him during their fight there he's also done for. But after? Right before Xichen intervenes? I had no answer for that yet.

(You know what's coming. I did not)

It is at this point that i realize that if this is gonna keep being A Thing then i need to read the source material before I catch fatal fanon poisoning. Yes, I can piece together the plot and themes from seeing what stays consistent across fics and what are the author's own opinons. But I know just as well that sometimes fanon just agrees on shit that didn't happen and treats it like canon, and I have no way of knowing which is which. So I start reading the novel.

And of course, eventually I get to the empathy sequence. And remember, my "nieyao both live or both die" theory is heavy on my mind at this point, and the only stickler is that nmj could sort of have killed meng yao after the confrontation with wrh, still believing meng yao was actually working for him, and not a spy, and get off... not scott-free, Xichen won't be happy, but it's not gonna cost him his life.

And then I read THIS.

Please Imagine dropping a whole block of pure elemental sodium into water. Except the sodium is this quote and the water is my poor little delicate brain. Not only is my theory right, it is ten times more unhinged than i thought it was.

And considering that Nie Mingjue does not seem like the kind of guy who'd consider something like a life debt to have an expiration date, and because after this he will link himself legally and socially to jin guangyao as family and declare that one among their brotherhood turning against the others is to be met with a painful death, I can no longer read the scene at the stairscase in jinlintai without the impression that he is still planning to die afterwards. Which, if you wanted to make that scene even more painful, this is a very efficient way of losing all your remaining hinges.

I think I'd have gone crazy about this line no matter what context I heard it in, but this one specifically? where I'm already obsessed with idea of nieyao's deaths being connected by the narrative and missing just this one piece and having it confirmed? out loud? from one of the characters himself? It's like giving cocaine to a baby.

[stormyoceans]

on happier terms: did you see sea's thank you to jimmy on twitter???? he....is so, so precious. hopefully this show with its popularity is a catalyst for new jimmysea appearances/shows. i love those boys so much and while i do fear a drought incoming soon (the perks of stanning introverted kings), atleast we know that this show's blatant success means gmmtv will have to push for them in more shows (whether that be as side characters or mcs, together or seperate. i love you so much monica. hopefully we find a new hyperfixation soon to distract us and fill the void.

I DID SEE IT AND I'VE BEEN TRYING NOT TO CRY ABOUT IT EVER SINCE BECAUSE THEY JUST HAVE THE SWEETEST FRIENDSHIP LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOBBING AND SOBBING AND SOBBING AND SOBBING AND SOBBING AND SOBBING AND SOBBING AND SOBBING

i swear every time i want to express how much i love jimmysea i inevitably find myself at a loss for words. i've always shied away from parasocial relationships and im very aware that everything we see is filtered by cameras and social medias, but i'll be damned if what transpires from all of that isn't the image of two sweet dedicated hard working boys who love and care about each other a whole lot. it's at times like this that, while i do want them to branch out and work with other people, my brain also ends up screaming PLEASE DO NOT SEPARATE THEM. there's just something so magical that happens every time they're on screen together, and im so proud to have witnessed their growth

im honestly 99.999999% sure we're getting that p'jojo series at the very least, so until then i hope we're gonna get some more events, and since GMMTV apparently decided to air starlympics for a month instead of giving us 23.5 on friday (IM IN THEIR WALLS) i do wonder if we should just all do a vice versa rewatch (one episode per week)

ANYWAY. all this rambling aside, thank you so much, anon!!!!!!! i love you too and i hope we can keep screaming together about jimmysea for a long time!!!!!!! 💜🩵

[tabsters]

SOMEONE LIKE ME (CHAP. 26) - A STARGLASS ZODIAC X ZODIAC EXPERIMENT CROSSOVER

previous chapter is here

next chapter is TBA

masterpost is here

tagging @mythicalmagical-monkeyman @hyperfixation-tangentopia @maiawhimsicalt and @sweet-star-cookie

"I take it the visiting session...didn't go so well?" Lupus asked upon seeing the group's dejected faces. The two twins (halves of Gemini?) were holding each others' hands and were leaning against each other.

"Did not go well." Pegasus shook her head, gently patting the twins' heads. "Cassie...this is Gem and Ini. The two twins that make up Gemini."

"Hello..." Cassie was afraid that any sudden movements would startle the twins, much like skittery animals. 

"We wanted to meet you, but not like this," Gem—the black-haired one—said. "Perhaps we owe you an explanation."

"An explanation would be nice," Cassie said meekly. 

Ini—the white-haired one—nodded. "Very well. Gemini will explain somewhat on the train."

"I think Gemini should try to reform, first," Pegasus said, gently taking both twins' hands and leading them off. "We'll be in the bathroom, okay?"

"Uh, okay!" Cassie yelled helplessly after them. Evidently, Pegasus has had experience with this sort of thing before.

The elevator doors opened again, Libra and another constellation stepping out. This one had long, sleek black hair and was wearing a light blue dress-robe combo.

"The prisoner is being a pissbaby again," The constellation grumbled. She flexed her fingers, which looked to be completely made up of metal. "Wish you would let me punch the smug bastard."

"Language, Lyra," Libra said lightly, seeming unfazed. "And being angry at the prisoner is not effective."

"That's a pretty name," Cassie said, hoping to defuse the tension between advisor and Zodiac, as well as clear the awkwardness. "Lyra."

"Oh, thank you!" Lyra straightened up, seeming a bit flustered at being complimented. "I...I'm not really used to this name, even after a couple years of being a constellation. To be quite honest, I prefer my mortal name over this name."

"What was your mortal name?"

"Hanni, or Hannah." Lyra spun in a circle, and Cassie realized she looked very similar to someone she already met. "Hannah is the Americanized form of my name."

"Do you have any siblings?" Cassie asked, the dots in her brain starting to connect together. "In this Astral Plane, I mean?"

Lyra made a noise that's somewhere between a squeak and a cough. "I—yeah, actually. They're the constellations Ara and Crux. I haven't talked to them in...a while."

"I met Ara at Capricorn's ball." Cassie thought back to that day—it seemed like ages ago, but she could still remember the woman with the tiger mask and the red dress. "She's pretty. Is there a reason why she wears that mask?"

Lyra looked around before ducking her head and showing Cassie a picture on her phone. Libra was now engaged with conversation with Lupus, and was ignoring the two of them. 

"You see how her eyes are orange?" Lyra asked, and Cassie nodded tentatively. This was certainly not going in the direction she thought it would. "She's what we call a bloodfiend. Basically, a vampire. She wears that mask to hide her fangs, but also because someone in our mortal life carved scars into her face."

"O—oh." This was definitely not what Cassie was expecting.

"I hate her." Lyra seemed angry now, but not at Cassie for bringing this topic up. "She's the reason why half my arms are missing." She flexed her fingers, which Cassie could see were definitely made out of metal. 

"And one day, I'm going to defeat her in combat," Lyra confidently said. "And I'll hurt her so badly that not even a mask can fix it." 

"I...see." Cassie decided it would be best to move the topic of conversation to something else. "So what brings you here?"

"Oh, me?" Lyra dismissively waved a hand towards Libra. "Libby likes to come here and visit the prisoner. No idea why, considering they're the person who made the executive decision to jail him."

"Libra..." Cassie looked back towards Libra, who was now admiring the palace's architecture. "Leo mentioned that Gemini put him in jail. How come he's so much more hostile towards her?"

Lyra shrugged. "Libra treats everyone with basic respect. That's kind of their thing. They're also the most impartial and objective person I've ever met, so it's pretty damn hard to hate them. They also believe that they can somehow redeem Leo, but it's a lost cause if you ask me.

"As for Gemini, well...people do say that hatred is just a result of wounded love." She giggled at Cassie's shocked face. "Leo's got a mile-long list of exes. Gemini just had the misfortune of being his latest addition."

Cassie had the distinct feeling that she was not supposed to know all of this. Luckily, Pegasus chose that exact moment to show up with Gemini, with neither Gem nor Ini in sight.

"Alright, well, I'm sure we've long overstayed our welcome," Pegasus said, shaking hands with Lupus and Libra. "Thank you for having us."

Lupus bowed his head. "No problem. Take care, all of you."

-

"Okay, so...what was that?" Cassie asked hesitantly, as they passed through the kingdom of Parthenos, Virgo's kingdom. "Gemini, what...what happened to you?"

Gemini picked at her macaron, twisting the two halves apart. "Alright, I don't really know how to thoroughly explain this, so I'm gonna use the example Ciara told me."

She looked Cassie in the eye, very seriously, and asked, "Do you know about Steven Universe?"

"Uh...yes?" Cassie half asked, half said. "I've watched a couple of episodes."

"Okay. Do you know about fusions?" Gemini popped her macaron halves into her mouth. "Like, Garnet."

"She's a fusion of Ruby and Sapphire, isn't she?" Cassie was starting to see where this was going. "Are you like her? Are you...a fusion of Gem and Ini?"

Gemini snapped her fingers. "Bingo. I, as a human being, technically do not exist. I am a combination of Gem and Ini, both the good and bad parts of their personalities mashed into one." 

"Oh. Ohhhh." Cassie thought back to what had happened with Leo. "And when you lose control of your emotions, you revert back to Gem and Ini?"

"Exactly. Normally, I'm pretty good at keeping them under wraps, but that bastard." Gemini clenched her fist, and Pegasus gently removed the macaron sitting in her other hand before it got squished. "I thought he might've changed. Might've, I don't know, learned a life lesson."

She exhaled. "He's just the same. Aries and Scorpio were right to warn me. He hasn't changed at all."

The train car went quiet for many moments, before Gemini broke it.

"Stars, I'm unraveling again. Uh, Cassie, be prepared to meet Gem and Ini again, alright?" Gemini's fingers and arms began to glow, less aggressively than before.

"O—oh." It's not like Cassie could have stopped anything. "Okay?"

Pegasus gently squeezed Gemini's shoulder, as the Zodiac slowly dissolved into white light, then separated into two shapes. 

"Oh. Hello." Gem gently waved at Cassie, as Ini nodded. "We meet again." 

Now that the initial shock of Gemini's transformation had worn off, Cassie could see that Gem and Ini were much smaller than Gemini. Gemini was already very small to begin with, but Gem and Ini were a couple inches shorter than her.

"We've wanted to meet you for a while now," Ini said, her white hair falling around her legs—their hair was also much longer than Gemini's. "You intrigue us."

"I do?"

Gem nodded. "What is it like in your world? What are we like?"

"Oh...well the Gemini constellations in my world are also twins." Cassie took out the small bracelet she had bought for Virgo and started fidgeting with it. "Their names are Solana and Luna, and they're much younger than you are."

"I can't remember what it means to be young," Ini mused to Gem. "It seems like an eternity ago."

"An eternity has passed, and yet it seems like no time at all." Gem nodded. "And the time we spent dormant, nestled within Gemini, I cannot recall at all."

"Dormant?" Cassie asked. "Like sleeping? Or hibernation?"

"Something like that. When we first became Zodiacs, Eclipse forced our souls together to make another, something greater than the sum of its parts. For centuries, our souls lay dormant, deep inside Gemini's. Gemini, as a person, did not even know we existed."

"Did Gemini ever question why she represented the sign of the twins, and yet had no twin?" 

"She did. But every time she did, Eclipse simply just erased her memory. She spent a long time this way, just living in bliss."

"She has a better relationship with us now. Much better." Ini rested her head on Gem's shoulder, and Gem rested her head on Ini's head. "We can see through her eyes and experience the same sensations she does. Sometimes we can even take over her body without needing to separate. But...she's lived a hard life."

"I can imagine." A new voice said from the entrance of the train section. Cassie looked up, finding a blonde man wearing a black jumpsuit, with handcuffs around his wrists.

Gem and Ini's eyes widened, and they immediately grabbed hands. Gemini reformed, smiling from ear to ear. "Hercules!"

The man waved as best as he could. "Hey, Gemmy. How're you doing?"

Cassie stared at the man in complete and utter confusion. This man was Hercules? She had never met her world's version of Hercules, but the stories of him that Orion and Perseus told her were enough to make anyone's hair stand on edge.

He was a monster masquerading as a hero. Claiming to rid the world of evil, when in reality, that very same evil grew and festered inside him. 

And this man was friends with Gemini?

"I've been good, what are you doing out of jail?" Gemini punched him in the arm, giggling as she did.

He was a prisoner as well? This just got so much more confusing.

"He's not alone." A man with lighter blonde hair and black antlers stepped in, his dragon wings folding into themselves to make room. His right eye was a pale blue, and his left was a soft gray. "We're his babysitters."

"Who's we, Draco?" Pegasus chuckled, and reached her hand over to shake hands with the dragon man.

"Draco Malfoy?" Cassie asked immediately. This man was wearing a black and green suit, which, combined with his pale hair, made him look very much like Draco Malfoy. 

The man immediately sighed, withdrawing his hand from Pegasus' grasp. "No. No, I am not Draco Malfoy, despite how much I look like him. But my name is Draco. Draco, as in the constellation of the dragon. If we're being technical, Draco Malfoy is named after me, not the other way around."

Apparently, Draco had very strong opinions about being called Draco Malfoy. 

"Where's your partner in crime, Drakey?" Pegasus teased. 

"Serpens is wandering the cars, doing something." Draco shrugged, and stood back so Hercules could sit down in the seat next to Cassie. Cassie, involuntarily, scooted away.

"Hello," The warrior said, much more softly. "Who are you?"

"Uh—um, I'm Cassie," Cassie said in a small voice. What intentions did this man have? Could she trust him? Perseus and Orion had drilled it into her head that Hercules was always, unequivocally, a bad guy. Was this world's Hercules the same? Just another monster?

Apparently, Hercules saw her worried look, and leaned away from her. "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you." He lifted his wrists. "Despite, uh, what I might look like."

"He's a nice guy, Cassie," Gemini reassured her. "He, along with Perseus, Orion, and Andromeda, used to work for Eclipse. But after that bastard's imprisonment, they were also thrown in jail. Herc's the only one that's actually trying to redeem himself at this point."

Hercules shrugged. "They let me take a field trip for good behavior." He leaned over to look past Cassie and out the window. The metallic buildings of Parthenos were giving away to the gleaming marble of Zygos, Libra's kingdom. "Man. I haven't seen the outside in ages."

"He's not gonna hurt you, I promise," Draco said from the outside. "If he does, I'll tase him."

His tone of voice was ambiguous enough that Cassie couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Hercules laughed nervously, suggesting it might not be a joke.

"Draco? Where did you—oh shit, sorry!" A thumping noise was heard, and Draco sighed. 

"I'm gonna go check up on him." Draco pointed straight at Pegasus. "You're in charge while I'm gone, Peggy." 

Pegasus fake-saluted, and Draco departed. Hercules fidgeted awkwardly, and Cassie noticed he also had ankle cuffs as well. They looked remarkably similar to Leo's collars—perhaps they were similar enough in power levels.

"Right, sorry!" Draco shouted behind him as he returned with a man with braided black hair, with a dark green snake tail replacing his legs. "Serpens, what the fuck were you doing trying to do on top of the roof? And how on earth did you manage to fall on the snack cart?"

The snake man shrugged. "Better view from up on the roof."

"Are you—" Draco inhaled deeply, and then whispered a large amount of swears under his breath. "My stars, why do I even bother." 

He stalked off, leaving Serpens as his replacement. Serpens made a 'welp' face, and tossed Pegasus a couple packs of the snacks he had obtained—flaky pistachio pastries. 

"Sorry about my boyfriend," He said casually, biting into a pastry. "He can be a bit uptight."

"FIANCE!" Draco shouted from somewhere back in the train. "I'M YOUR FIANCE!"

"And he can have a bit of a temper." Serpens swallowed the rest of his pastry nonchalantly.

"I WON'T BE YOUR FIANCE MUCH LONGER IF YOU KEEP SAYING THAT."

"You're right, you're gonna be my husband soon!" Serpens shouted back cheerfully. "You love me!" 

"UGHHHHH," Was Draco's response. Cassie had the impression that, despite his poised and sophisticated appearance, he had some anger issues. 

She missed her own Draco, a small white dragon. He was so cute, and always eager to play with her. She hoped he was doing alright. 

"How're you, Serpens?" Gemini asked, trying to drown out Draco's aggravated groaning. "How's...uh, your siblings?" She shook her head in disgust, evidently disappointed in herself that she couldn't think of any other discussion topics.

Serpens picked apart the pastry layers, dropping each of them into his mouth. "I'm fine. Had to watch over Pisces' kingdom on short notice yesterday cause he insisted on ditching his duties." 

He rolled his eyes, grabbed another pastry, and then proceeded to unhinge his jaw to swallow the entire thing whole. "I mean, you'd think after a couple millenia he'd be better at this king thing."

"You're Pisces' brother?" Cassie asked, remembering Aquarius' words. "You don't look much like him."

"Is it cause of the hair?" Serpens snickered. "We looked more like siblings when we were mortal." 

A loud crashing noise made Serpens snap back to attention. "Anyway, I'm gonna calm the dragon down. Peggy, keep an eye on this guy." He nodded towards Hercules before slithering off.

"So..." Hercules looked towards Cassie. "You're not from here, are you? I mean, no offense—" He gestured towards Cassie's eye. "But this kinda gives it away. And you don't have any of the markings star spirits have."

"Yeah, I'm kinda from another world, where there's other versions of constellations." Cassie stared at Hercules in fascination. 

She had never seen her own Hercules in person, but Perseus and Orion had told him that he had dark orange hair and skin, and was somewhat monster-like, as a result of slaying so many monsters. Once, Perseus had even been one of Hercules' targets. 

"Hmm. Is there a me in your world?" Hercules enthused.

"You're..." Cassie thought. "I've never met my own Hercules before. But Perseus and Orion say that you're a force to be reckoned with. You've fought and killed hundreds of monsters in the name of glory."

Hercules went quiet for a moment. "I will not lie. I used to be like that. My partners, Perseus, Orion, and Andromeda, they were so much worse. The four of us wanted glory so badly we aided a tyrant to obtain it."

Cassie sucked in a breath. "What made you change your mind?"

Hercules lowered his head. "I...I don't really know. I just realized eventually, I wasn't getting any happiness or satisfaction from hurting others. All this hurting others because they hurt you just leads to a never-ending cycle of destruction and pain." 

Gemini nodded sagely. "Well said, big guy. You're truly on your redemption arc."

"What about Perseus and Orion?" Were Cassie's friends the monsters in this world? Were the roles of those that were heroes and monsters swapped? "Andromeda, too."

"Perseus, if I'm being honest, has a stick up his ass. He followed Eclipse solely for the validation he received from her. He was her top assistant and our leader." Hercules fiddled with his thumbs. "But he commanded respect wherever he went. All that power does some messed up things to your head.

"Orion and Andromeda were the true menaces. They took some sadistic pleasure in torturing our enemies. I love all three of them, but..." Hercules sighed. "After seeing what monsters we've become, I don't know if I can anymore."

The group sat in solemn silence for a moment more before the train stopped with a ding. Draco and Serpens returned to the train car. 

"Welp, here's our stop." Draco helped Hercules up, nodding to Pegasus. "Nice bumping into you."

"Back to the Venusian Prison you go." Serpens ruffled Hercules' hair and then waved bye to the group. "Home sweet home."

Hercules smiled at Cassie. "Nice meeting you, kid." He gave a fist pump to Gemini and then waddled out.

"Bye." Cassie waved goodbye to the man, lost in thought.

"You wanna stop for more souvenirs?" Pegasus asked, starting to get up. "Librans really like their braided jewelry."

"Yeah, sure." Cassie followed Pegasus out of the train, Gemini trailing close behind. 

As she walked, she thought back to her short conversation with Hercules.

I guess there is some truth to his words. Hurting others will just lead to them hurting more and more people. Nothing good will come out of causing others pain.

check out @sweet-star-cookie's starglass zodiac lore if you liked this!! questions about my lore are greatly appreciated!!

[daytaker]

What do you rank each obey me character from your favorite to your least?

Oh lord, I've thought about doing this before but it's so hard because it's constantly shifting? Let me seeeeee...

The ultimate ranking I've decided upon is as follows:

Mammon

Satan

Leviathan

Asmodeus

Solomon

Simeon

Lucifer

Barbatos

Luke

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Diavolo

TO BE CLEAR, I like Diavolo. Also, 4-8 are all basically tied. Yes, I put Barbatos in position 8 on purpose, yes, I'm aware that was low-hanging fruit. The whole list is also very fluid. Over the course of playing the games and existing in the fan space, Solomon has been my number 3 and my number 12.

ALSO! A lot of this is just "my opinions based on the vibes I get and nothing else". So please don't take anything too seriously. I'm definitely not claiming to have perfect, inarguable takes.

S Tier

These guys are consistently my Boys, my Faves, the ones I Love. I'd marry Mammon. I'd start a cult with Satan. I'd use phrases like "my little meow meow" in service of explaining my feelings for Levi.

1. Mammon

I mean, whenever I think he's not my favorite, he comes back and reminds me that he is, so I might as well just bow to the inevitable. I love a tsundere himbo. He's funny and cute and he makes my heart do the thing. My stone cold frozen aromantic heart.

2. Satan

Ah, my complex relationship with Satan, who is the worst-developed character in the OG but comes careening back into the running with an excellent display of character development in Nightbringer. Satan, for whom I simp, but who is also my feral child. Satan, who is coded autistic entirely unintentionally but whose attempts at being romantic hit me like bricks to the face and I just want him to please stop trying to be flirty and instead talk to me about cats or science or whatever hyperfixation he happens to be focusing on because it's much more attractive. Satan, who, after overblotting on wrath, just kind of passed out instead of going insane like Mammon and Asmo and everybody because he deals with this shit all day every day anyway. Satan, who deserves to be number one on this list because he occupies so much space in my brain but continues to lose out to Mammon because Mammon's blushing feels more sincere.

3. Leviathan

The unexpected addition to this list. I dunno, he's always growing on me. He's so funny. Possibly the funniest character in the game. I love writing him. He's so cute. He's so cringe. I can relate to one of those things. I don't really have any great reasons why I love him so much. I just do. He's so fun. I love his pets. I love that he got the pet show cancelled by summoning Lotan. I love him in the anime cosplaying as Ruri-chan. Actually, yeah, the anime. He got the best rep in the anime to me because he is so cute and funny in that thing.

A Tier

I love them, I will go to bat for them, I will kiss them, I will bring them their lunch if they forgot it at home, I will sing them lullabies, I will kiss their precious cheeks, but I will not marry them. (Edit: I will not marry them, with the exception of Simeon, who I would absolutely marry if he deigned to ask me.)

4. Asmodeus

He's just a fun guy? He's really sweet and caring and somehow doesn't feel like he's actually hitting on me? I've described him in a DM with someone as "your gay best friend who you make out with sometimes" and I seriously do get platonic vibes from him and I'm here for it. I'm here for platonic makeout sessions. As an aro who likes when fictional boys flirt with me sometimes but not too much, he's a very welcome breath of fresh air because his flirting just doesn't feel like it's aimed at anything? He just likes to call you a cutie pie. And I know that none of that makes sense for a character who is the literal avatar of lust, but I'm talking vibes, not reality.

5. Solomon

Solomon can ride this scale from close to the top to rock bottom to be honest. I did not like him during the recent event (Voyages). He just felt creepy to me. And that's where my problems with Solomon lie for the most part. Much like with the Asmo vibes, he just feels creepy to me. I think he's too openly infatuated and too comfortable with that fact for me? Like slow down my guy, I'm here to be jokingly flirted with not asked to cosign a mortgage. But also the panties came OFF for that confrontation with Belphie in the colosseum so congrats on your new placement as number 5. I like a lot of fandom interpretations of him significantly more than canon ones so when I go back to canon I'm always a little like "eughhh what is this?"

6. Simeon

Okay, here are my reasons. 1) He's the most beautiful character. Nobody else even comes close. Don't ask me why, he just is. 2) Plot things that I haven't even gotten to yet but if you know you know. 3) I I like how nonjudgmental he is about literal demons like he just pops in from Heaven like "let's all be friends". What a chill dude. Bonus 4) Luke's dad.

7. Lucifer

First of all, if he ever genuinely hits on me I'm hitting on HIM with pepper spray. Dad, what the fuck? Second, he just loves his brothers so much and works so hard for them and wants so badly to protect them. I admire that. I do not get any genuine chemistry between him and the main character, though that could be my romance-radar malfunctioning as usual, or even just my taste. "That's my dad, I can't marry my dad."

8. Barbatos

Another character in whom I see no chemistry with the main character, but that's okay and I love him anyway. He's number 8 because he loves being number 8. He's the second-prettiest boy after Simeon in my opinion and I like to imagine him being an absolute menace who never sleeps, never bathes, and never uses the bathroom. He has transcended all that. He is the Time Lord.

B Tier

My beloved babies (and drunk uncle)! I have no romantic interest in any of them whatsoever! One because he's an actual child and the others because I just don't. But I love them and I cherish them and I will bring them their lunches if they forgot them at home just as much as I would for tier A.

9. Luke

Yes, he's whiny. Yes, he's kind of weird to even have in the game let alone the intimacy system. No, I have never and will never call him a Chihuahua. I will beat up his bullies, including Lucifer and Mammon. I will file for joint custody with Simeon. He's so flippin' cute.

10. Beelzebub

Another classic good boy. I love him but I don't really see much in him beyond... being a good boy? He's sweet and I would give him so many hugs and he deserves so much love but I can't get over the idea that that head is empty, there is nothing inside but cheeseburgers. And I kind of love that for him.

11. Belphegor

When I first started the game I thought I'd like him best. Turns out I was wrong. Now, I don't hold it against him that he murdered me. Sometimes a demon has just gotta do what a demon's gotta do. He's a little shit, but he also did that thing in the anime where he's Beel's cheerleader while he fails at a video game? And that moment will forever be enshrined in my heart.

I mean look at him??? Holy shit???? Just seeing this image again makes me want to kick him up to number 6 or something.

12. Diavolo

I love my gay drunk uncle as much as the next person but when your gay drunk uncle sometimes hits on you, it's extremely uncomfortable. I'm not like an active Dialuci shipper but I fully support Diavolo's unapologetic simping for his totally platonic right hand man. And then he wants to get in my pants and it's like having ice water dumped down my shirt.

So there you have it! My little ranking and thoughts on each character. I'm curious whether any of this surprises you?

[lightbluetown]

happy new years eve everyone! here's an overly-personal post of me reflecting on 2023 ✨

have i ever told you guys that i had no idea ofmd was a queer show when i first started watching it? i really didn't know the first thing about it-- i'd never even seen a picture of stede in my life. it took me almost three weeks to veeery gradually get through the first three episodes. i enjoyed them, but only felt like tuning in during dinner on weekends. i've been around fandom spheres for twelve years but i've never been part of a big fandom myself (or of any fandom that wasn't related to video games or, well, anime). certainly didn't think that would change anytime soon. yet suddenly, a mere three weeks before the start of season 2, i heard the words "you wear fine things well" and all the circuits in my brain were reset

2023 had definitely been a suboptimal year for me until then-- devastating natural disasters, personal losses, deep political problems, the uszh. not to mention the terrible injustices and wars happening around the world. i tend to protect myself from negative thoughts and fear by letting hyperfixations consume me (as i'm sure many people can relate) and boy did ofmd do the job! especially with the excitement of s2... i didn't even realize when october came to an end, it just flew by! i excitedly watched every episode as soon as they came out, made some silly posts on this blog that i'd randomly decided to make... yes, the fandom has its fair share of problems, and i see annoying takes in my twitter fyp basically every day, but eh, i've seen (and been in) worse communities. my experience has been lovely! i love all the beautiful fan art, gifsets and meta posts here. people are so passionate, which only makes my passion grow stronger. i really appreciate it.

unsurprisingly, i've consumed basically everything you can possibly consume that features rhys/the new zealand gang (i've become a diehard fotc fan too). sorry for the sudden dark turn but a really close friend of mine tragically passed away the day after my birthday in november. i don't think i would've moved on with my life if it wasn't for the very welcome distraction provided by these series. especially ofmd of course

ofmd isn't just a silly fun comedy show, it isn't just a love story, at least not to me. it's the story of a man who's spent his life feeling lost, left out, left behind, unwanted, unloved, unneeded. a middle-aged gay man stuck in aristocracy who, for some reason, i can deeply relate to as a young queer person stuck in the middle east. it's the story of people like me freely and unapologetically being themselves, fighting to live their lives filled with joy and love, even in less-than-ideal conditions. it's given me a lot of strength and hope when i needed it. i would've had a much worse memory of 2023 in my mind if it hadn't been for ofmd

so yeah. 2023? not a huge fan! glad it's over! but i'm really glad ofmd was part of it!! i'll remember the past four months fondly, i'll keep loving the series for many months to come and i'll hopefully enjoy a third season with other fans. i'm excited! i hope 2024 will be better for everyone

thank you all!!

[metalheadmickey]

it's tag game tuesday wednesday THURSDAY. fandom edition, baby! thank you to our beloved @celestialmickey for kicking it off and for tagging me, and also to @energievie & @tanktopgallavich !! 💛💛

your name: jessie

your age: 33

your first fandom(s): i usually say supernatural, but fuck it, i think it was spartacus. i may have engaged with it in a very different way, but i was hyperfixated as hell. i went to my first and only fan conventions. by myself! i never want to go to fan conventions! so yeah. spartacus.

your current fandom(s): shameless, and to a lesser degree these days, supernatural

how did you first get into fandom? hyperfixated on a show, stumbled upon the fandom side of tumblr, did not make a tumblr but lurked a little bit, decided fic was cringey and that i didn't like reading it (it was a v small fandom with not a lot of quality content), hyperfixated on another show and decided to try reading fic again, had my entire world rocked to its core, made a blog, been around ever since.

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? like nine years?

how often do you read fanfics? i'd say every day, usually when i'm in bed.

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): mickey milkovich, dean winchester, castiel.

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! i sure have!

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? if so, drop a link! nope!

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: mickey was thinking about yevgeny when he and ian had the parenthood conversation in 11x12.

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? okay so i actually did this with one of my closest irl friends and she got...possibly more into supernatural than i am, and she reads destiel fic, and has had intense gallavich fic phases as well. and it was actually super easy lol. she just has the same kind of brain that i have, and i just had to tell her to watch the shows because i knew they'd fuck her up the same way they fucked me up. she saw my reaction after november 5th 2020 and wanted to know everything, so i told her everything, and she started watching spn the next day. i watched shameless a couple months later and lost my entire mind, and all i had to do was tell her that she NEEDED to watch it, and she started watching it right away. i think if i had to show her a specific scene though, it probably would've been mickey coming out in 4x11. iconic, legendary. she would've eaten that up even with no context. also special shoutout to this friend, because she's the person who taught me to not be embarrassed about being interested in fic, or fandom in general. i always thought she was so brave for being open about her hyperfixations in her everyday life, like for real lol. i still struggle with it, but i've gotten more open about it because of her.

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? a community of some of my best friends, and the place where i learned that i can actually be a creative person. i'm doing all kinds of fulfilling things with my life because of this space 🥹

tagging @howlinchickhowl @whatwouldmickeydo @gardenerian @gallawitchxx @heymrspatel @whatthebodygraspsnot @you-are-so-much-better-than-that @iansfreckles @squidyyy23 @auds-and-evens @mishervellous @7x10mickey @lalazeewrites and anyone else who wants to play 🖤🖤🖤

[firstkanaphans]

Just curious, why did you decide to watch the eclipse? and considering how much you love AA and FK, did you expect to feel this way when you started watching?

As a general rule, I give every BL that GMMTV produces a chance, so I was always planning to watch The Eclipse. The initial draw for me was First, who I had seen in Not Me, but what really got me hooked was that damn special episode that came out the week before the premiere where First was crying on camera about how much it meant for him to be able to work with Khaotung. Like how could you not stan immediately? And then when the show actually premiered and Ayan grabbed Akk’s thigh in the very first episode. I was hooked, man.

Did I expect to get so attached when I started watching? Absolutely not. Like it’s almost comical how much I overestimated my ability to watch this show casually. Spoiler alert: I didn’t have a Tumblr before The Eclipse. I hadn’t seriously written fic since 2018. And yet here I am…

I’ve talked about this a bit in other asks, but I made the decision back in 2018 to step away from fandom for a while to pursue original fiction. Between 2018 and 2022, I wrote and queried two original novels very unsuccessfully and when I got that last rejection email back in early 2022, I sunk into a pretty deep depression. I won’t bore you with the details of that, but The Eclipse (and also LITA, which was airing simultaneously) is what got me writing again. I feel like I imprinted on this cast and these characters because I truly am grateful they gave me back this hobby that I enjoy so much. Once I post this week’s chapter of BoP, I will have officially written over 100K words for The Eclipse alone. And I'm super proud of that!

That was a very convoluted answer to a very simple question, but I’m emotional after the episode today and it actually helped me to look back on how much this show has meant to me. So thank you, Anon! The Eclipse/FK community has been so very welcoming to me and I am so glad this is the piece of media my brain decided to hyperfixate on. I've made so many friends and my obsession shows no signs of dying down any time soon, so it looks like I might be here for a while 💕

[katherinemckay]

elphaba and glinda's choices in defying gravity

or "glinda's choice to stay behind is very justified and objectively leads to more success by the end of the show": an essay

okay so i came across people discussing whether glinda or elphaba made the more difficult choice in defying gravity and the comments were overwhelmingly elphaba biased and as a glinda biased girlie i wanted to write my little analysis of this scene so this is my 1 am, hyperfixation-driven take on this show <3

so as the audience we spend all of act one meant to empathize with elphaba. she's your typical underdog protagonist; the world is basically against her and you root for her because she has good intentions and goals. so, when she decides to give up everything to fight for what's right, we naturally admire this choice and cheer her on. this tends to make people feel like glinda made the cowardly/weak choice to stay back, but i think it's more complicated than that.

first, we have to look at these choices in the context of their lives. glinda has presumably grown up in privilege and has spent her entire life striving to be perfect, as she's desperate for everyone to love her and will continue trying to put on this act even when it makes her miserable (see: all of thank goodness). in contrast, elphaba's life is the opposite: she's never really received love from anyone before her friendship with glinda, even her relationship with nessa is very strained. all that she has driving her forward are her own personal goals and ambitions (see: the wizard and i), so when she realizes what's going on with the wizard, she's naturally going to continue prioritizing these goals. however, they look different now that she realizes the wizard and her society in general are actually responsible for these problems- now, she has to center herself in achieving these goals, as she can't strive for the wizard's help anymore. this means that although it is still an incredibly bold and difficult decision, elphaba forging her own path is basically the natural choice for her going forward. however, when we look back at glinda, it's the opposite- impulsively uprooting her entire life is not at all a reasonable course of action from her perspective. she has everything (she thinks that she wants) to lose- her reputation, the opportunities the wizard is offering her (and we know she's been interested in sorcery and has wanted to do this for awhile), and even her relationship with fiyero that she's still trying to maintain. this is very different from elphaba's situation, who even points out she basically has nothing left to lose ("i've been afraid of losing love i guess i've lost"). so, going with elphaba would be a much more high-stakes decision for glinda in the context of her life and what she values at this point in the story.

additionally, i think a main theme a lot of general fans miss about wicked is the fact that glinda and elphaba do want the same thing (glinda not going with elphaba does not mean she actually supports the wizard!!!!!), but they are just fundamentally different in how they believe change gets made. glinda has always believed that how someone is seen affects the power they have. she explicitly states this mindset in popular- "did they have brains or knowledge?... they were popular", "it's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed, so it's very shrewd to be very, very popular." because glinda has grown up in privilege, she understands that in her society, people who are widely liked hold the most power. in contrast, elphaba believes/wants to believe that change can be made by taking a stand and doing what's right; this is the mindset we see in defying gravity. the differences in how glinda and elphaba see the world very strongly explain the differences in how they act throughout the show. glinda choosing to run away with elphaba in defying gravity ultimately wouldn't make sense for her because that's not how she believes change happens. based on how important glinda deems popularity, i truly believe she thinks that staying back and finding a powerful position within the ozian government is the best way to slowly push for change. everything glinda does is so carefully calculated, while everything elphaba does tends to be more impulsive, and so this is seen in their methods for trying to fight against the injustice in oz. i don't believe it makes either of them weak or wrong; it's just two very different mindsets that reflect their very different life experiences.

finally, i think one of the most crucial plot points of the show that almost everyone seems to miss is the fact that ultimately, glinda was right. elphaba forging her own path results in her image becoming even worse in oz, to the point where no one besides glinda sees her as anything but wicked. because of this, she ends up completely unable to make any of the change she was hoping for, as her image as the wicked witch ruins her chances of any kind of public support. she even explicitly tells this to glinda in for good: "i'm limited, just look at me / i'm limited, and just look at you, you can do all i couldn't do, glinda." here, elphaba realizes she's limited because she is so widely hated... but glinda isn't. because glinda is widely loved, because glinda spent all of these years carefully constructing a perfect public image, glinda has earned herself power, which she can now use to make a difference. elphaba is admitting that glinda can do what elphaba can't, and that's because glinda made that choice to stay behind. as tragic as it is, glinda's outlook on the world was more realistic than elphaba's, and so it ultimately lands glinda in a position of power with the opportunity to make change.

tldr: glinda is the smartest character in wicked please stop being mean to her :(

[faunsoda]

sbi ib au w wilbur as mary is a concept i cannot stop thinking abt, like i haven’t touched ib in years and i was more into smaller dynamics in sbi than sbi as a whole, but it makes me so insane. you’re a genius and i adore that au concept. techno as gary is also so much fun, i rlly liked the whole thing. also the art was SO nice, your style is very neat. if you have any more thoughts abt the au as a whole i’d love to hear them, but if not, just know i love the concept so much

WOOO i hear u, my favorite dynamics within sbi are crimeboys and bedrock bros (it really shows in this au) because i am a huge sucker for sibling dynamics. the remake for ib came out for switch recently so the childhood hyperfixation reawakened like a beast

i have so many thoughts in my brain let me drop these bad boys. infodump time.

my idea of a first meeting between techno and tommy! rather than having his rose stolen like garrys, its tommy stumbling in on techno getting cornered by one of the lady paintings. techno probably wouldve gotten out just fine eventually, maybe lost a few petals but tommy distracts the painting so he can escape unharmed! then theyre like 🤝 team up time

please ignore the shitty ooc dialogue everywhere ive just been getting ideas jotted down in my free time hehe. i imagine the dynamic between techno and wilbur in this au being pretty tense! techno is IMMEDIATELY suspicious/wary of wilbur & wilbur wants to leave with tommy, taking technos place. techno doesnt wanna be too protective of tommy because a) this is some kid he just met what does he care b) he doesnt really have any reason to be suspicious about wilbur because hes done literally nothing wrong so far hes just off so techno doesnt trust him

also philza as guertena means he doesnt show up like at all BUT i really liked the theory from a few years ago that part of marys dislike for garry stemmed from garry resembling guertena and her feeling like she’d been abandoned since i cant really imagine she can grasp the complete concept and weight of death. so i did have techno resemble philza a bit here (eg. emerald and stubble that i keep forgetting to draw-) which will probably be unmentioned in stuff i draw for this au because again philza wont show up much. so yeah ooh possible idea that wilbur might resent techno for that a little bit or just be like kind of annoyed by it. idk man im just sitting here.

i also did the three main endings! promise of reunion and together forever were kinda quick because i did not have time to properly draw and color them :,] but i found a neat brush and wanted to draw the forgotten portrait painting because ow. in my original drawings of this au tommy didnt have a green bandana but i decided to give him one as a stand in for the hankerchief ib carries! after all this ill probably do some redraws of moments from the game or try to reimagine the toy box since wilbur is notably not a child like mary is!

yeah hey that was probably like way more information about this au than anyone couldve wanted but B] if you have any thoughts about this au that differ from mine or if you just have thoughts in general id love to hear em! my brain is rotting. thanks for coming to my ted talk (and thank you for the ask, i am new to tumblr so this is my first ask yippee!!)

[vestrabishops]

Random things that came from being a sheltered child with enough introspection to come to hilarious conclusions:

My mom was pretty strict about TV shows I could watch when I was little, but I managed to watch a LOT of That 70s Show reruns behind her back. I didn’t risk this with any other show I wasn’t allowed to watch aside from the occasional episode of Billy and Mandy when I knew she wouldn’t come in, but I was willing to risk it all for this one because my 9 year old brain was (as my 24 year old brain is) crazy hyperfixated on the 70s, and seeing references to Gerald Ford and disco on TV gave me unparelled levels of dopamine. Despite this, I did not at the time, know what weed was. I don’t know when I finally made the connection that the circle was them getting high as shit, but I spent years as a child thinking that a main aspect of the show was just sometimes they would sit in a circle and be really silly and people in the 70s just did that. When I told my bf this story he asked what I thought all the smoke was and 1) both my parents smoke so I didn’t really associate it with Drugs™️ and also 2) there were so many getting crap past the radar references to smoke filled hippie vans in kids cartoons I honestly just thought fog machines where really popular in that time period.

My mom used to watch The Oprah Winfrey Show every single day, so when I didn’t have school, I would help my mom clean the living room and watch Oprah with her. One episode she had on a doctor who quizzed the audience on how much people knew about health. There was one part where she brought up sexual health and my mom fastforwarded through it and told me not to look. The only thing I saw was the phrase “how often should you have sex” and I racked my brain trying to figure out what it meant. The only thing I knew was that sex meant if you were a boy or a girl, so I eventually came to the conclusion that “having sex” meant changing from a boy to a girl or vice versa like certain fish could do. I was slightly confused that humans could do this and no one ever told me, but I assumed it was something you only learned when you’re older and my mom would tell me when she thought I was ready. Anyways I’m nonbinary now, and I blame Oprah.

My parents are both against organized religion due to their own religious trauma, but my grandma is a very devout biblical scholar, so they decided when we visited her for the holidays, I should go to the Christmas service with her to make her happy. This of course, lead to me being talked at for hours as if I knew anything about Christianity beyond vague cultural osmosis. Honestly I didn’t find it overly confusing, but I did assume that when the priest said Jesus was born in Bethlehem, that they where talking about Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and came to the conclusion that my grandma loved Jesus so much because he was born so close to where she lived and felt a connection to him because of it. Also I had zero frame of reference for when Jesus was born, and when the angel told Mary and Joseph to follow the north star, I thought that he got the idea from the underground railroad.

[sallertiafabrica]

How many name ideas did you come up with before you fully decided on the ones you chose for the trickster au?

Do you mean fic titles, hero names…?

(Trickster is both, anyway, so–) I did consider something with “Renard”, for a while, but I couldn’t come up with anything with it that I liked, and it sounded too much like Rena Rouge. Trickster was actually the placeholder name while I tried to find something that fitted better with the show’s naming scheme, but since I didn’t, and I was already kinda attached to Trickster, I went with it.

I also considered something with Illusionist/Illusionistte or Magician, but it just didn’t rolled off the tongue very well. Trickster is simple and catchy, and I like that about it (also, I eventually found out “fox” can be synonymous with “trick” and I felt like a damn genius with this discovery, lol. also also, the fact so many foxes are considered tricksters and the whole trickster archetype. I swear I didn’t know anything about that, I haven’t even fully developed my hyperfixation in storytelling conventions, tropes, and archetypes yet!)

I had the name “Tinkerbelle” for a long long time before finally changing it to Blue Belle due to not being able to take the first one seriously when writing. Chat Rosé was my first choice for Pinkadrien, but I also considered simply Tomcat or Rossé (it means both cat and bitchy in French, lol), but a friend convinced me to leave those as nicknames and go with Chat Rosé.

City of Fools was the only name I considered for the sequel. I just had the fic as this vague entity that was “Trickster 2: Electric Bugaloo”, then City of Fools popped into my brain and it immediately clicked everything together.

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 1/17/2023

I’m on break this week.

The last two months have been really stressful for me. I don’t meter my own stress levels well--I knew I had some stuff I wanted to get done in early January, and I knew that the holidays would take up a ton of my time and energy, so I started early and tried to clear out my schedule and worked very hard. I met my goals and also made myself extremely miserable.

This is one of those things that, if given the choice, I would rather just skip Christmas. That’s not an option, tho, so I’m declaring right now in advance that I am not going to try to get anything done next December.

Anyway, I made it thru Renruki Week and somehow managed to do something for every day, even though I told myself I didn’t have to. I was working up until the last day of it, and so I’m sorry for all the things that showed up at the end that I haven’t reblogged, but I noped offline immediately after I finished my last thing and haven’t really be able to bring myself to get back to it. I’ll try to catch up in the next few days, and address my AO3 comments, as well. Here is a convenient link to all my Renruki Week content, but you can also check out the more general RenrukiWeek hashtag or the Twitter version and see all the stuff other cool people did.

In the same week, I also managed to finish the first draft of my first big assignment for my volunteer gig, which I’m pretty excited about. Polynya, you might say, did you really need to do these things simultaneously? The answer is no, but I really wanted to make a good showing on my first project, and also I make bad decisions. 

The other thing that happened is that my eight-year old decided during Christmas break that she wanted to turn over a new leaf and completely clean out her room and strive toward keeping it clean in the future. I think this might have been inspired by the week of cleaning I did leading up to New Year’s. In any case, when your kid wants to clean, you do not hesitate, so we have been cleaning like mad for weeks now. Her room looks great now, and we’re working on the downstairs playroom that we want to convert into a second computer room, so that the kids aren’t constantly stealing my husband’s desk to play Minecraft.

Also, I’ve kinda gotten into houseplants? I’m reading a book? And I made some bad sourdough breads today. You know, now that I type all this out, I feel like I’m describing a manic episode. I’ve just been doing a lot. I would like to do less. The thing I would like to do less of the most is feel like I am under pressure to do stuff. What I really just need is some “leave me alone” time, so that’s what I’m doing right now.

Even though I’m de-prioritizing my writing, my actual, sincere hope is that by not forcing myself to write, it will actually give my brain a chance to come up with some ideas. I’m hoping to work on the next part of Heart is a Muscle as my next project, and I’m toying with the idea of re-reading all the previous parts, something I used to a lot, but haven’t done in a while. 

Anyway, I’ll be around, and I’m sure I’ll do some reblogs, but I don’t really aim to do much Tumblr stuff in the near future. Hopefully, I’ll be back eventually. I’ve closed my Ask box for the foreseeable future, possibly forever.

That’s enough of my boring, dumb life. The only other interesting thing I’m up to is that Mr. P and I are re-watching Vision of Escaflowne, which I am very excited about. Maybe now that’s Bleach is back, I can give that up and start hyperfixating on an even older, even deader anime.

[kedreeva]

OK OK SO LISTEN OK HEAR ME OUT I AM VERY VERY MUCH WELL ON MY EAY TO ACTUALLY WATCHING THIS BIT H OF A SHOW JUST BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT the broken ass fucking thing in ny brain that controls my serotonin levels goes _Ping_ and i get to experience The Happy but LISTEN here the fucking issue ive got an absolute bitch of an executive dysfunction and main issue: everything i know about thr show and everything that makes my brain go HYPERFIXATION TIME is shit from like,, the last 2 seasons ig mostly and like on a Theoretical fucking level i am well aware that once i start watching ill start enjoying it from the first coupke episodes (whatever deity may or may not be out there ought to just strike me down already at this point my previous self from like 5 years ago would strangle me if that fucker knew ehat our stupid bitch of a brain latched to amd decided to sing praises to in the end) but like The Things that currently have me in the headlock when it comes to the damned show Wont be There yet and even though i logically know it doesnt matter cause ill enjoy the rest too stupid piece of shit brain goes "must watch 2 seasons just to get there? Must watch 2 seasins to get to the Serotonin? Not in this energy crisis" so im Stuck unable to Watch it and Wanting to and reading and looking at SO much fucking fancontent cause goddamn the fucking fandom is talented fuck yall

Also i really appreciate your offer regarding the poll its v sweet of you but unfortunately its got a local target audience since its for a project that will begin at a local stage (and if i get my way slowly grow bigger until it reaches nationwide level but yeah v low hopes for it to get that far) and also since the whole project thing is basically a part of a far larger project thing with lots of smaller teams like us and shit and the reason im part of the whole shebang is that a professor of mine decided to place me on her team without even asking ive gotta make the poll using my Proper™ account which not only means sharing my deadname but also my last name (in short my whole legal name) so yeah big fucking mess thats going to shit anyway but i really appreciate the intention its v sweet (also as you hopefully have figured out i am VERY shit at explaining anything on a manner that makes sense but also im my defence it Is currently 3am where i am so yeah id like to throw a teeny bit of the blame for my inability to communicate on that)

Go to SLEEP.

But before you do I need you to look me in the fucking eyes, and understand this: season 1 is absolutely fantastic. Season 1 is still my favorite season. Not only do you get to meet all the amazing characters as babies, but the plots.... oh, the plots. oh. the storylines in season 1 are all fucking gorgeous, Delightful.

okayokay, listen. listen.

I gotta calm down a second because season 1 is so good, but listen

Season 1 does something that's so incredibly difficult to pull off, and not only did they pull it off, they pulled it off with flying colors. They told three narratives that were all part of one narrative, expertly braiding them together until suddenly they have all come together and everything crescendos and hhhhhh it's bliss. It's fucking bliss.

You have the first plot, and that's a kid's adventure plot. It is the genre of plot where you have a bunch of kids who get into a supernatural shenanigan with a New Friend, completely under the noses of the oblivious adults. This is some ET shit, some Earth to Echo shit. They've got to hide their New Weird Friend from the adults, and they are the ONLY ONES capable of saving her. High Child Adventure Time. They're riding their bikes and yelling over their radios and doing things only children would think to do in an attempt to keep El safe.

Then you have the second plot, with Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve (and arguably tommy and carol). This is a teenage monster horror flick w/ bonus romance. This is "one of the teenagers got killed/taken by a monster and the rest of the teens have to survive/cope with it/hunt the monster down together" genre. Nancy and Steve are busy getting into romance and then crashing and burning it because Nancy knows there's monsters and Steve has no idea, but Jonathan knows there's monsters, and now they're teaming up to fight back right up until Steve crash lands in the middle of the event and picks up the nailbat the first time. Delightful, you have to understand. You have to know. The first time Steve weilds the nailbat, he twirls it. And that twirl is.... fucking everything. That twirl lives rent free in my head for eternity.

You have to understand. This entire scene leading up to this is pure fucking gold. Steve is beat the fuck up after picking a fight with Jonathan (and losing), and he's come over to Jonathan's house to apologize to him, because he realized he's been an asshole. Who DOES that first of all. Second of all, this is AFTER he went and made amends with the theater he and tommy and carol defaced to be mean to nancy, and before he's apologized to nancy herself; he's coming to jonathan's house, alone, at night, to apologize to Jonathan, not because he knows Nancy is there, but because it's the right thing to do.

And then Nancy opens the door and okay, he had guessed they were... a thing, maybe, so that's not totally unexpected, but then he sees her hand. He sees the bandage on her hand, the blood they were using to draw the monster, and he has NO IDEA monsters exist still. He pushes into the house because he thinks Jonathan hurt Nancy, only to find Jonathan is also sporting a bandage, and also there's like. weapons all over the fucking place and christmas lights and Nancy's yelling at him to leave and she pulls a fucking gun on him and tells him he has 5 seconds to gtfo, and as if that wasn't enough, a literal monster claws through the ceiling, drops down and starts trying to eat them all. Nancy's firing a gun at it right up until Jonathan grabs her around the middle and bodily hauls her away from danger, grabs Steve's hand with his other hand, and hauls his partners down the hall to safety.

Down the hall where, you know, he and Nancy put a fucking bear trap on the ground. A bear trap steve does not know about but when Jonathan yells JUMP, do you know. Steve doesn't even stop to ask how high. he just fucking jumps. He's freaking out and the monster seems to disappear and they tell him to leave because it's going to come back and he makes it all the way to his car before realizing... he can't fucking leave them there. so he goes charging right back into danger, and good fucking thing too, because Jonathan's been disarmed and nancy's out of bullets and the demogorgon is still coming after her, and Steve gets there just in time to scoop up Jonathans nailbat (which FYI, was made from Nancy's bat, with Jonathan's nails, and now Steve wields it, as if I NEEDED OT3 feels) and start wailing on the monster until it's beaten back into the trap and they can set it on fire.

LIKE. SEASON 1 JUST HAS THAT???

and then!!! there's also the ADULT plotline, which is of the government conspiracy theory genre, as Joyce refuses to believe her son Will is dead and Hopper doesn't agree until actually he finds out she's RIGHT and the corpse was a FAKE and then HE is in on it and they are desperately trying to figure out what the fuck the LAB was doing with all its secrets.

And Delightful.... I have to say. Watching these three plotlines converge.... I've watched the first season dozens of times by this point. Chef's kiss. They all come together and realize they've all been dealing with facets of the same problem, and they move forward together to save Will and take down the monster and the lab that caused the problem. Oh my GOD.

And that's not even speaking of the characters. You will be adopting every child. Season 1 mike is the best mike. I would kill for season 1 nancy but she's got it covered. Season 1 Steve shows you his capacity for being a bitch, which is WHY the later seasons are so amazing with him being a good guy. You have to be able to remember the moment he took Jonathan's camera from him, jonathan's most prized possession, probably the most expensive and difficult to replace thing Jonathan owns, and smashes it on the pavement. You have to experience him writing (or allowing Tommy to write) "Nancy Wheeler is a SLUT" on the movie theater announcement board on main street. You have to see him shove Jonathan and say "always figured you for a queer" in order to understand how far he's come when he sits on the bathroom floor with Robin and softly says "oh." and still looks at her like she hung the moon. You have to see how much the kids care about each other when they are all in one place or you will never survive the catty nonsense they go through in season 3. SEASON 1 MATTERS SO MUCH.

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There's SO MUCH about season 1!!! I'm supposed to be writing stories right now, so I'm gonna leave it here but please know you will not be slogging through 2 seasons to get to 3 and 4. You'll be watching the best season, a good season, and then arrive at when the plot kind of sucks but the characters have a chokehold on your heart so it doesn't matter.

[permanately-confuzzled]

Okay so. This gonna be long. But dean headcanon.

This is a bit of a stretch and not one that I think a lot of people lean towards (either that or I'm just not in a circle that talks about it) but. Dean has autism? Maybe not super obvious signs, and I'm much more familiar with the signs in afab than amab, but it feels REALLY similar to myself.

I realize that cptsd has really similar symptoms as low-support-needs (high functioning??? Someone please tell me what term to use I cant figure out if it's problematic or not) late diagnosed autism, as well as several other neurotypes. But a lot of it feels really familiar, and in some of the distinguishments between cptsd and autism, dean leans toward the autism side.

Anyway, a list in no particular order:

Knows a lot about random topics -- that one case where he knew the guy used the wrong country for a proverb to come from, mentioning vonnegut, possible hyperfocus on weapons and fighting

Seems to have a fairly good musical understanding despite having little to no experience -- you're telling me John taught him how to sing? And he picked up on guitar as quickly as was implied? I think the fuck not

Hyperfocus on a TV show/genre -- Scooby-Doo, dr. Sexy, westerns

Perfectly happy driving for hours on end listening to the same tracks on repeat -- apparently this isn't normal???

Seems to dissociate really easy -- he could be desensitized to violence, and probably is at least a little. But when he's already emotional, or caught by surprise, he's immediately horrified, almost like he's not as careless towards it as normal.

Described as having too many emotions. Very much cannot communicate them. Seems overwhelmed.

Very much likes blankets, hot showers, massage bed -- sensory issues. Also, that could be why he wears flannel and jeans all the time. Yeah, it's practical, but the clothes don't bother his sensory issues.

Also, sensory stuff could be why he's constantly chasing sex. If your constantly feeling everything, why not make the everything be mostly good? People with asd also typically are either on the grey scale of sexuality or hypersexual.

He clearly understands communication, but masking. Also, he's fairly social. The puzzle of human communication may be a hyperfixation of his. Not to mention that a few of the times people say things he isn't expecting he gets flustered and confused.

He seems to see grey points in a very black and white way, and black and white as grey. I don't know how else to describe that.

The thing with asd people typically struggling more than nts to understand things like capitalism bc why WOULDNT you give up some fancies if other people can eat enough -- that's literally why he can't get himself to leave hunting.

Not willing to change the impala or his music.

Had the whole dean cave put together without Sam knowing (I think? Correct me if I imagined this)

Routine. He's impulsive when it's his decision, but if someone else decides, he wants nothing to do with it -- getting up in the morning, I swear there's more but my brain is getting tired

Struggles to make close connections. Very few actual friends (especially compared to sam) and very few actual relationships.

The close friends he has are not nt. Charlie most likely has adhd or asd, cas acts very similar to someone with asd, Sam's at least really traumatized. This is common with nds.

He has different personalities depending on who he's with (masking) -- cas vs Charlie vs Sam vs Donna vs Claire vs Benny... etc

Prone to addiction -- the need for routine and chronic stress from masking makes this true for asd people as well.

I think it was called existential suicidal ideation or something like that? Doesn't want to die necessarily, but doesn't really want to be around but does, but doesn't really care. It doesn't seem like a big deal so he's sorta apathetic to it.

I think there was more, but I cant remember right now. Am I crazy???

Sorry is asd autocorected to sad. And yes I did hyperfocus on this for a week and a half.