#dean has asd

[permanately-confuzzled]

Okay so. This gonna be long. But dean headcanon.

This is a bit of a stretch and not one that I think a lot of people lean towards (either that or I'm just not in a circle that talks about it) but. Dean has autism? Maybe not super obvious signs, and I'm much more familiar with the signs in afab than amab, but it feels REALLY similar to myself.

I realize that cptsd has really similar symptoms as low-support-needs (high functioning??? Someone please tell me what term to use I cant figure out if it's problematic or not) late diagnosed autism, as well as several other neurotypes. But a lot of it feels really familiar, and in some of the distinguishments between cptsd and autism, dean leans toward the autism side.

Anyway, a list in no particular order:

Knows a lot about random topics -- that one case where he knew the guy used the wrong country for a proverb to come from, mentioning vonnegut, possible hyperfocus on weapons and fighting

Seems to have a fairly good musical understanding despite having little to no experience -- you're telling me John taught him how to sing? And he picked up on guitar as quickly as was implied? I think the fuck not

Hyperfocus on a TV show/genre -- Scooby-Doo, dr. Sexy, westerns

Perfectly happy driving for hours on end listening to the same tracks on repeat -- apparently this isn't normal???

Seems to dissociate really easy -- he could be desensitized to violence, and probably is at least a little. But when he's already emotional, or caught by surprise, he's immediately horrified, almost like he's not as careless towards it as normal.

Described as having too many emotions. Very much cannot communicate them. Seems overwhelmed.

Very much likes blankets, hot showers, massage bed -- sensory issues. Also, that could be why he wears flannel and jeans all the time. Yeah, it's practical, but the clothes don't bother his sensory issues.

Also, sensory stuff could be why he's constantly chasing sex. If your constantly feeling everything, why not make the everything be mostly good? People with asd also typically are either on the grey scale of sexuality or hypersexual.

He clearly understands communication, but masking. Also, he's fairly social. The puzzle of human communication may be a hyperfixation of his. Not to mention that a few of the times people say things he isn't expecting he gets flustered and confused.

He seems to see grey points in a very black and white way, and black and white as grey. I don't know how else to describe that.

The thing with asd people typically struggling more than nts to understand things like capitalism bc why WOULDNT you give up some fancies if other people can eat enough -- that's literally why he can't get himself to leave hunting.

Not willing to change the impala or his music.

Had the whole dean cave put together without Sam knowing (I think? Correct me if I imagined this)

Routine. He's impulsive when it's his decision, but if someone else decides, he wants nothing to do with it -- getting up in the morning, I swear there's more but my brain is getting tired

Struggles to make close connections. Very few actual friends (especially compared to sam) and very few actual relationships.

The close friends he has are not nt. Charlie most likely has adhd or asd, cas acts very similar to someone with asd, Sam's at least really traumatized. This is common with nds.

He has different personalities depending on who he's with (masking) -- cas vs Charlie vs Sam vs Donna vs Claire vs Benny... etc

Prone to addiction -- the need for routine and chronic stress from masking makes this true for asd people as well.

I think it was called existential suicidal ideation or something like that? Doesn't want to die necessarily, but doesn't really want to be around but does, but doesn't really care. It doesn't seem like a big deal so he's sorta apathetic to it.

I think there was more, but I cant remember right now. Am I crazy???

Sorry is asd autocorected to sad. And yes I did hyperfocus on this for a week and a half.

[suncaptor]

Dean to me has like. bpd/ptsd with asd/autistic traits and a mood disorder. Sam has ocd/ptsd with asd/autistic traits and his ptsd is specifically dissociative type/symptoms of dissociative disorder. Cas has autism & ptsd.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s14e4 mint condition (w. davy perez)

apparently we need a complete rundown of how ghosts work in this show in the recap, in case we've forgotten!

think my best chance at an episode that doesn't drive me up a wall is a monster of the week. let's go, davy

DEAN Oh, wow. SAM What? [DEAN touches his own cheek.] SAM Oh. Yes, I shaved. DEAN I mean, it’s so smooth. It’s like a dolphin’s belly. SAM Yeah, yeah.

ah yes, 5 o'clock shadow stubble, so smooth :p *scritch scritch*

SAM Hey uh, I wanted to check up on you. You doing okay? I mean you haven’t really come out of your room in almost a week. DEAN Well, since when is okay part of this job, huh? Yeah, Cas is you know, showing Jack the ropes and Dark Kaia and her spear are in the wind and we have no clue where Michael is or what he’s up to. And not that I’m complaining, but the house is full of strangers, so.

i would 1000% be complaining. i need my space and routines and ... not other people :p see: heebie jeebies

DEAN Thundercats? Seriously? SAM Yeah. But I mean, you’ve got your pizza, at least eight more of these movies so I’ll just leave you to it and I’ll get one of the other guys… DEAN (getting up off the bed) Oh, hell no, hell no. No, Panthro, that’s mine.

very cute, i will take it, please and thank you. sam finding a case that would actually help dean work out some of the post-michael funk, as opposed to whatever that previous mess of an episode was :p sam knows how to take care of dean too

DEAN Still not a fan of Halloween, huh?

dean's smiling already (at sam's expense, but hey he's basically offering)

DEAN Soft, delicate features, luxurious hair. She’s like your wonder twin.

listen, if anyone has soft delicate features; it's you, dean-o

so one notable thing for me personally is like. they're doing the thing were dean is super excited about something (like wrestling, cowboys, etc) but i'm not feeling the secondhand embarrassment? like it's not so over the top childish? it's just more standard fannish excitement? which is surprising and nice. we'll see if it holds :p (the pocket protector and dean's glasses below though push it pretty hard into costume)

SAM MIRL – Meet in real life. DEAN Why do you know what that means?

they're just dropping all sorts of little silly slice of life tidbits here. though i admit to having a hard time seeing our sam chatting people up online

DEAN So seriously, what is your deal with Halloween? SAM I don’t like it. DEAN Yeah, but why don’t you like it, hm? And don’t give me that like, ‘well every day is Halloween for us’ crap, okay? Because one: it ain’t, we don’t eat that much candy, two: you’ve had this hate on for years. So?

dean asking the good questions

smooth

geeking out over their favorite horror movies together, this is nice. little bonding over using it for escapism

DIRK and DEAN “… mechanic David Yaeger comes back every year on the day after Halloween. On All Saints Day Hatchet Man takes his revenge.” DIRK You really know your ASD. DEAN Ah well, growing up it was a… it was always nice to check out once in a while. I like to watch movies where I know the bad guy is going to lose.

predictable endings and the effect is multiplied when you've already seen it. no surprises, does something for the brain

little 80s horror / stranger things vibe with the music (man that title sequence for stranger things is so good). christopher lennertz and tim wynn on the music this episode

it's cute how they're intercutting their fake horror movie, security guards watching said movie and the stuff happening in the hospital mirroring the events. worked well

SAMANTHA Where did you learn how to do this? SAM I had a messed up childhood.

heard.

okay so i had to give them credit for how they were doing the cuts with the fake movie, and then they had to do too much showing the fake trailer for the fake movie for no reason :p if they wanted to show the slasher guy's backstory, they shoulda worked it in the other handful of times they showed us clips from the fake movie

DEAN Thanks man. You uh, you got me out here because you needed to get me out of my funk and give me a win and you did. So, thanks. SAM I’ve got to admit it didn’t go exactly like I thought it would. DEAN Hey man, I just went toe-to-toe with David freaking Yaeger. That was awesome! SAM Yeah, it wasn’t really… DEAN Don’t ruin this for me. SAM Hey Dean, when we get back to the bunker, man you’ve got to stop hiding out in your room. DEAN I’m not hiding out. SAM And I get why you’re doing it, I do but what happened with Michael… You said yes for me, for Jack, for your family. You did the right thing. What happened after, just because Michael was wearing your face doesn’t mean any of this is on you. I don’t blame you, no one blames you. You’ve got to try and stop blaming yourself. Please. DEAN I’m never going to get over it, okay? I’m just not. But you’re right; I’m not doing anybody any good by just staying cooped up in my room so, whatever you need. I’m there. Alright Chief.

think you probably will, dean. but anyway, good job, sammy!

DEAN Okay seriously, why? Why do you hate Halloween? What is it, was it the time I, I ate all your Halloween candy?

SAM No. DEAN Was it something that Dad did? SAM No dude, you don’t want to know. DEAN No I really do, really. What? SAM Alright, you remember Andrea Howell? DEAN …no? SAM When I was in sixth grade we were living in Bismarck and I had a huge crush on her. DEAN Aw, that’s adorable. Continue. SAM So, she invited me to her Halloween party. I said yes and I went over and at first everything was great, um, and then we started to play games. DEAN Spin the bottle. SAM Bobbing for apples. Like I said, I had a crush so the entire night my stomach was in knots and when it was my turn I bent down and… DEAN No. SAM …hurled, everywhere. Lunch, dinner it all came up, on Andrea mostly. People ran and screamed and it was so bad. DEAN Ah that’s great. SAM I ended up hiding out in the woods till you finally came and got me. DEAN So that’s why you hate Halloween.

aw, baby sam. there's something refreshing though of him having just regular kid traumatic experiences. finally it's not because of gross child neglect or being raised as a child soldier :p

DEAN Oh come on man you’ve got to deal with that, that’s I mean… Alright this is what we’re going to do, next year we’re doing Halloween right okay? I’m thinking matching outfits like uh, Batman and Robin. SAM No. DEAN Bert and Ernie. SAM No. DEAN That’s weird. SAM Yes. DEAN Uh, Rocky and Bullwinkle. SAM Dean… DEAN Shaggy and Scooby! SAM Why would we? DEAN Turner and Hooch. Ren and Stimpy. SAM Come on now. DEAN Thelma and Louise. SAM Thelma and…? DEAN We just put it in drive and go.

very silly and sweet. i vaguely recall dressing up as geena davis in middle school, but because of a league of their own :p would be a few years yet before i could watch thelma & louise

pleasantly surprised by that episode. monster of the week with fannish stuff that didn't go into making fun, didn't even bitch about the music! i will take it

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

On the Cusp of Trying to Kiss You

On the Cusp of Trying to Kiss You https://ift.tt/upfJas3 by Orchid_Heart Uninspired, bored, sexually frustrated, you name it... Dean Winchester probably feels it. He's been running a successful vintage car shop, has a beautiful girlfriend, supportive family and friends, but it's simply not enough. There's a thirst in his heart, a desire for change, a need to be free and unjudged, to take back control of his life. Enter Castiel Novak, a young artist in need of a job who's trying to escape a similar conformative fate. Castiel is playful, outgoing and eager to please. Where Castiel wants to surrender, Dean wants to conquer. The attraction is undeniable, all consuming, and dangerous. Dean finds himself having to make some hard choices, perhaps while hurting the people he loves. Will he choose his desire over his morals? Will a true profound bond find a way to overcome society's biases? Words: 4259, Chapters: 3/15, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Benny Lafitte, Charlie Bradbury, Eileen Leahy, Lisa Braeden, Kevin Tran (Supernatural), Ishim (Supernatural), Bobby Singer Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Ishim (Supernatural), Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Closeted Dean Winchester, Gay Sex, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Age Difference, Infidelity, References to Depression, Light BDSM, Dom Dean Winchester, Sub Castiel (Supernatural), Jealous Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Falling In Love, Sexting, Flirty Castiel (Supernatural), Loss of Parent(s), Artistic Castiel (Supernatural), Shameless Smut, Fluff and Angst, Guilty Pleasures, Uncle Dean Winchester, Mentions of ASD, Rough Sex, Dom/sub, Public Sex, Declarations Of Love, Attraction, Chronic Illness, Dean winchester likes being called Sir, Dick Pics, Divorce, Self-Doubt, Sexuality Crisis, Dean winchester likes his car, conformity, Complicated Relationships, Wanderlust, mentions of a drug addiction, Biker Castiel (Supernatural), Lips kink, bananas are phallic as hell, Tattooed Castiel (Supernatural), Pierced Castiel (Supernatural), Workplace Sex, Classic Cars, Older Dean Winchester, Barebacking, Butt Plugs via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/T9kszSi April 11, 2023 at 02:37AM

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsit Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 309

Mint Condition

Hey. So like…fuck my job. It really isn’t worth all this exhaustion.

“Mint Condition”

Plot Description: on Halloween, the Winchesters get back to basics investigating an action figure at a comic store that comes to life

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: oooo an Ohio episode. Well, I don’t really go to comic book stores, and the one I do go to occasionally is so far from this dude bro one. It’s also good that figures aren’t haunted or whatever’s going on here…my house would have burned down ages ago

Ah, turns out Sam’s “beard” was short lived

Omg Dean’s so funny and excited to go after this killer ThunderCats toy. Sam know how to get his brother out of a funk

Ok…had to pause because google told me it would take me 7 hours to get from here to Salem, Ohio by plane……or I could just drive roughly an hour and a half….WHY ARE THERE FLIGHTS BETWEEN THE CLEVELAND AIRPORT AND THE AKRON ONE?! That’s the biggest waste of jet fuel since Taylor Swift. Oh they’re not nonstop? There’s a layover IN CHICAGO?! Why.

What are these outfits, boys?? What cheesy 80s movie nerd are you trying to emulate here? Not even the nerds in this store are dressed like that. They’re supposed to be insurance guys??

Why DO you know all this, Sam? I’m extremely online and I couldn’t have told Dean MIRL meant “meet in real life.”

Dean, that blazer is atrocious. I can’t believe you’re about to fight a toy wearing that

WHY CAN A TOY THROW A CHAINSAW?!?! (Actually, a ghost makes so much more sense)

Oh…oh, Dean. I can’t believe you’re being this vulnerable with this nerd you just met. I mean, this guy doesn’t know that’s what you’re doing. But you telling him you like the comfort of movies where you KNOW the bad guys will lose?

Mmmmmm oh no. The ghost of the recently deceased comic store owner is haunting that guy. And I honestly can’t blame him. Had to fire him twice for stealing

Wait. I forgot to tell you guys that this universe has a horror movie series called All Saints Day that Dean LOVES…and now, a possessed and life sized statue of Hatchet Man from ASD is on his way to the hospital where Dean is to kill the guy from the first five minutes

No because this is another one of those “Dean gets to live out his wildest dreams” episodes…like, I get that Sam doesn’t have as many quirks. All he’s got is a fear of clowns, and we already did several of those episodes, but it’s been a while. We could do another

My guy, you did not think through what it would mean to tell Hatchet Man that to get to Stuart, he’d have to go through you

Why are the security guards also watching ASD movies? Instead of the screens they’re paid to? I’m all for slacking in favor of other screens but there’s a limit

Oh if only that girl didn’t look slightly too young for you, Sam. She is not bothered by your messed up childhood and she thinks the bomb you made out of really common materials is just as cool as you thought it was

I love that Dean gets to do the action-y bits of this real life ASD film and Sam gets the “figuring out how to kill the bad guy” part

Sam’s hatred of Halloween is so valid. If I hurled on my crush while bobbing for apples at their Halloween party, I don’t know that I’d get over it either

What are these costume suggestions, Dean? They are all over the place. It’s like you’re just naming any paired characters in movies and tv

Honestly, that was the most horror movie series ending they could have given the episode. I’m not mad at it

[kalisms]

we got autistic cas now adhd dean when

[roublardise]

i don't think cas would wear a backpack bc it would ruin his outfit and specifically how the coat feels on him (#asd stuff). also dean has one so they can just share.

[altagraye]

Comfort

Comfort:

just an imagine for myself and anyone who needs it too.

TW: talk of past self-harming, insecure reader, depressed reader.

"Hey Alta, can't sleep again huh?" I heard his voice clear. Even felt his weight make the bed buckle. I was in my usual habitat. curled up in the fetal position, covers nearly covering my entire body. i nodded in response to the long hair Winchester. 

Your desk chair pulled out and while munching on a bag of nacho cheese doritos Dean made his presense known, “You gotta sleep Al. Man i forgot how good these are. You want one Al? Here babe.” he handed me one and i nibbled on it. not feeling like eating because I wasn’t physically hungry but because i was down i wanted to eat 2 pb & j’s right now. Binge eating. it only made me more sad to think about it. 

“Those damn pills ain’t workin’. sure It’s super hard for me to cry now, but the bad thoughts are still here. Guys? can you help me?” i asked.

“Darling, give them time. maybe you need a higher dose? Like Vinny said, remember? You know he really does love you Darling.” Steve was sitting on the floor at the edge of your bed. 

“Yeah i know he does. and i love him so much. i miss him a lot. i feel so guilty. i only called him once this week. We’ve been together for ten years and He finally stopped moving. He’s only 30 mins from me and i can’t even see him. I’m a terrible girlfriend.” I started to cry. i missed Vinny so much.

“Don’t cry Doll, he understands what you’re going through.” Bucky chimed in this time, flipping his knife nonchalantly. I stared at the glint of its sharp edges. my mind descending back into your self-harming thoughts.

“That’s not the answer Darling. You’re still 3 years sober. You’re so strong.” Steve said grabbing my hands in his.

“I’m scared to take those tests guys. I feel like a freak.” i said, clutching my pillow, realizing i’m stimming. 

“Uh, Fuck that! you’re just you. So what if you have asd or not? Anybody that thinks you’re less than them, tell ‘em to talk to me. Lean mean Dean.” Dean said shoving more doritos into his mouth and munching loudly. 

“Guys? Thank you for being here for me.” i thanked them.

“We’ve got your back Alta. Always.” Sam said.

“We’ll be with you Doll.” Bucky said smiling at me.

“‘Til the end of the line Darling. really.” Steve rubbed the back of my hands soothingly.

“Don’t mention it, Al. Hey, C’mon it’s midnight snack time. I’ll go with you. You’re hungry, your stomach has been growlin’. One pb & j won’t hurt. Creamy right? I’ll eat with you.” Dean encouraged me rising from my desk chair. His red flannel flowing behind him, leading me out of my room and into the hallway. i couldn’t help the smile on my face.

Steve watched you, smiling wide. “That’s our girl.”

[agentmilocade]

I'm going to muse aloud for a moment here, if I may.

I consume a lot of content here on Tumblr: the stunning artworks, beautifully crafted fanfiction, hilarious memes, and thought-provoking articles.

But I'd like to focus on the fandom-related content for a moment.

I first discovered fanfiction in the final years of the 20th century, when I was a teenage boy coming to terms with the fact that I was almost certainly gay.

We didn't have Internet p0rn back then (or, if we did, I was convinced it would infect my parents' computer with a very telling virus, and the cat would be out of the bag), so reading slash or m/m fics, gave me my, well, fix.

The thing is, I'm now nearly forty, and, despite having access to p0rnhub in the comfort of my own home, I STILL find myself drawn to OTPs.

The fandoms have changed over the years: Wolverine/Gambit was replaced by Aragorn/Legolas, which in turn was replaced by Snape/Lupin, John/Sherlock, Dean/Castiel, and many more in between, until now when I'm following all tags related to Geralt/Jaskier and Jayce/Viktor.

I contribute occasionally, although my muse's visits are becoming increasingly rare, and fleeting.

So I consider myself something of a "lurker". I'll hit 'like' on a post, but have an odd sense of discomfort interacting with content any further.

I've realised why.

I am deep in a domain primarily occupied by young females. And whilst my sexual/romantic interests couldn't really be any further removed from that demographic, I am uncomfortable and afraid of interacting, lest I be seen as predatory.

(Boo hoo, poor old middle class white guy is uncomfortable, I know.)

The fact that the content is created almost exclusively by women is obviously not the issue I'm having. The feeling that I'm the only man in a space that feels that it was created by women (for women?), is. Is it wrong for me to be here?!

The thing is, every time I've felt that I am the only individual on the planet dealing with a particular problem (gay teen in a Catholic school, dyspraxia, ASD, ADHD, being a single dad, etc) it has turned out - SHOCKINGLY - that I am far from alone in my experiences.

This, so far, does seem to be the trickiest conundrum to navigate, though.

What tags will be fruitful in my endeavour to locate other middle-aged, male, slash shippers?

If you've read this far; thank you. I'm sure you had better things to do.

If you, too, are a guy in his 30s/40s who also has a thing for fictional characters, give me some kind of sign that I'm not alone.

[asd-n-me]

Tag post

Tag Meme

I was tagged by @melmey-autistic or AKA  @melmey-fanfics 

RULES: Answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better.

1. NAME: Karma. not my real name but what I’m calling myself so far.

2. NICKNAMES: All of my nicknames pertain to my real name, however my dad calls me peanut so. Yep. 

3. ZODIAC SIGN: I assume this means your sun sign, Mine is Scorpio.

4. HEIGHT: 5′4 

5. LANGUAGES: English! I’d really love to learn another but my brain disagrees!

6. NATIONALITY: American 

7. FAVOURITE SEASON: I love spring. It’s perfect to me. Although fall is a close runner up. 

8. FAVOURITE FLOWER: The stargazer lily is the best and most beautiful in my eyes. Unless i could ever find out what that genus of rose I met once that smelt like dots candy.

9. FAVOURITE SCENT:  

10. FAVOURITE COLOUR: PURPLE! although my favorite shade is black :)

11. FAVOURITE ANIMAL: Domestic? Wild? Most pleasing? Or cool? I like cheetahs, highland cows which make me exceedingly happy, raccoons, I love bears, foxes, and I quite love the gentle but giant elephant. Otters are also swell.

12. FAVOURITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER(s):Brian Kinney from Queer as Folk, Hyde and Red from that 70s show, Ron from Parks and Rec, Dean from supernatural, Michael from burn Notice, Scooby doo and shaggy, Damon from TVD, Louise from bobs burger, and about a dozen others.

13. COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Mocha Frappe. 

14. AVERAGE SLEEP HOURS: I average about 10hrs a night at the moment. 

15. DOG OR CAT PERSON: See, I used to think of myself as a pure dog person and I didn’t understand or care for cats. But I actually started suffering the sensory issues and overwhelmed feeling from having dogs, and have come to find I have quite an affection for cats which was most unexpected. So I would say I couldn’t really choose at the moment, but I currently own more cats than dogs which is a big shock. 

16. NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH: Between 1-3 but what is truly interesting is the number of pillows I sleep with which at it’s height was 9. 13 if you count certain stuffed animals that were actually pillows. 

17. DREAM TRIP: If I wasn’t afraid of flying and change I would love to visit scotland and all her beauty, as well as Ireland, then I would visit all the spots of history across the globe which I guess is a stereotype but Greece, Egypt, Arabia, Rome, France, England, etc. I would also love to see certain spiritual sites such as Tibet, India, Japan, etc.  I assumed this question was traveling but quite honestly I could be very content just to take a trip to the country with her green fields and twisting streams. 

18. BLOG ESTABLISHED:I have tried to figure it out I really have but I do not know. It’s an added degree of complication that this blog was originally something else when I repurposed it. However I know it wasn’t established for it’s current purpose even a year ago, and it wasn’t consistent until a couple months ago really. 

19. FOLLOWERS: God bless I am currently 125 which is such a pleasing number. I am just honored and excited to have made it over 100. 

20. RANDOM FACT: I have been inside a dunk tank, I am an avid collector of many things such as scooby doo and coins, and I can drink a water bottle in roughly 5 seconds last time I was timed.  I assumed this meant a fact about me but for a fun fact about something else, A dime has 118 ridges and a quarter has 119 ridges. one ridge apart despite the 6.35 mm difference in circumference! 

I’m tagging: So i just did a tag post and I don’t want to tag the same people in case its annoying so. I really hope anyone who wants to will participate but I tag: @lesbian-bookworm  @i-cant-eat-eggs  @shesautistictoo  @chewnecklace  @lesmiserabby   @butterflyinthewell   @moonietheindigo  @autistic-millamarie  @asd-n-adhd-fox   @ifyougiveamouseatuba

[astralshipper]

15X05 post as i watch... gonnaaaa talk abt how terribly sam is treated most likely so buckle up kids 

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS THROWBACK IS HURTING ME. ALTHOUGH I LOVE THE BOYKING SAM I.... DEAN UR A MEANIE TO CAS. BELPHY UR AN ASSHOLE BUT I MISS U SO MUCH UR MY BABY AND U DESERVED BETTER BUT LIKE BY BETTER I MEAN WORSE BC I MEAN SMOOCHIN ME

sam just wants to know where cas is im gonna cry 

dean dumbass ghoST PEPPERS VERY BAD ASD;LKFHEU IDIOT also dont drink water what the hell capsacin is better to neutralize with milk water makes it WORSE

lucifer sam lucifer sam lucifedr sam what the fucjkjdf sam baby i love you so much im so sorry ladhfuih :((((( LET HIM BE HAPPY FOR FUCKS SAKE THIS IS THE LAST SEASON STOP TREATING SAM LIKE SHIT

“i look exactly the same” keep tellin urself that deano also. babey sam...

ALDKFUIH POKEMON TRAINER LOOKIN ASSES- yall look RIDICULOUS I LOVE U SO MUCH also dean stop making promises to keep people safe it doesnt END WELL she is.so dead. shes not making it through this episode specifically bc dean promised her and hes getting emotional abt it and the writers say FUCK the win.chesters and therefore want them to suffer at every possible point.

sam...,.,,, ta l l ..,.,,,.,.,, hng.g,.,..,., tha t i s all ..,.,/,,,,

DEAN HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FALL ASLEEP I- YOURE A PROFESSIONAL SIR YOUVE BEEN DOING THIS FOREVER HOW HEAVY OF A SLEEPER ARE U MOTHERFUCKER 

OKAY IM SORRY I JUST. COULDNT TYPE THAT ENTIRE LAST FIGHT SCENE. HOLY SHIT. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. like the dude shot his brother n i was like yeah makes sense then this bitch shot HIMSELF and i was like ok.... weird then thE FUCKIN GIRL/.??? IMPALES HERSELF??? AND I WAS LIKE BITCH EXCUSE ME AND NOW!!!! THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LILITH???? I FORGOT SHE EVER EXISTED I JUST TRIED TO WIPE HER FROM MY MIND AFTER SAM YEETED HER FORCEFULLY FROM EXISTENCE I..... CAN WE LEAVE SAM ALONE? CAN WE PL E A S E LEAVE SAM ALONE????? IM SO DONE PLEASE LEAVE MY BOY ALONE HES BEEN THROUH ENOUGHDFAIH

okay so a lot happened between these commercial breaks even tho it was like... 2 minutes i just. excuse me???? first of all leAVE THEM ALONE. why does sam always have to get knocked out does man has to have cte by now this shits ridiculous. dean how abt we dont makedeals w lilith on a whim u DUMBASS i know its been a while but lets not forget shes uhhhh not to be trusted>???

why do i watch this fuckin show i just. im in pain. only pain. yall really gonna make me watch dean AND sam die in one episode? like no shit its a dream but it HURTS STILL please STOP MAKING ME WATCH SAM DIE LEAVE HIMA LONE STOPLEIDFU also. lilith u fucker. i fucking hate u. i always forget how much i hate you. and usually i have to rewatch the series to remember but now ur back to remind me how shit u are urself thanks for that!!! SHE FUCKIN GOT THE EQUALIZER AND. WHAT THE HELL. SHES JUST. ABLE TO DESTROY IT??? JUST LIKE THAT??? WHAT THE FUCK ALRIGHT SO WE’RE OFFICIALLY SCREWED HUH? THATS... THATS IT LMAO THATS JUST. THE LAST THING THAT COULD HURT CHUCK AND ITS GONE SO UHHHH HMMM..... yknow what sam dean and cas all of yall come over to this universe ill take care of u... also jack come back from the empty that would be gr8

so dean is still lying abt cas i see.... sounds about right

the fact that sam thought it was “just a messed up form of ptsd” makes me SO SAD bc that means hes just like “eh whatever just some ptsd shit thats fine” NO ITS NOT FINE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT!!! also yeah i was kinda. worrying after the lucifer thing that it was all the endings chuck couldve taken and demon dean rlly sealed that..

FUCK. THIS IS UHHH HIGHKEY JUST THE DYNAMIC... SAM IS LIKE YEAH WE CAN FIGHT AND FIX THIS AND DEAN IS LIKE BITCH NO EXCEPT THIS TIME DEAN IS RIGHT AND ALSO DEAN SOUNDS SO BROKEN AND IM BREAKING AND I AM SO DONE THIS SHOW HURTS ME SO MUCH. 

that final shot hurts.it just. the framing of the brothers between the curtains so it looks like a stage for a play.... just showing this is all chucks story and its all for his entertainment and im in PAIN. i see u directors and i hate u so much

CAS!!!! NEXT EPISDOE CAS!!! FUCK WAIT NO SAM GOT HURT REAL BAD SHIT SHIT SHIT I DONT WANT NEXT EPISODE ANYMORE CAS IM SORRY IM JUS GONNA ACT LIKE UR FINE SO I DONT HAVE TO SEE THAT SHIT

[feartheophanim]

MUTE!DEAN FICS CAN NOW BE CANON DIVERGENT!!! FUUU~

[iammariajacobo]

Thank you to all who were at our magnificent event last Thursday, it was truly inspiring to see our supporters (in person and otherwise) who helped make it a success. So grateful for our new yearly event @artismexpo being officially launched. The Artism entertainment (young adults with autism) brought tears of joy to many as they sang, danced, painted and played beautiful music for our enjoyment. Congratulations to Dean Russell McCaffery of Broward College for winning the most deserved “HAAPE Visionary Award” for our joint work in launching the Avionics Certification Program for People with ASD. Amazingly, this has gone from idea to implementation in less than 6 months with the initial students starting in January! We were delighted to provide a significant grant to SPECTRUMTECH, our joint collaboration with United Community Options (UCO) under the leadership of Pat Murphy and her team. This has been a year of significant accomplishment with the hiring of a Lead Tester, the development of a training curriculum and completion of 3 training classes for people with ASD. SPECTRUMTECH had great news to end the year with the announcement of agreement for our software testing services with a major, national advertising agency and being a finalist in the National Unicorn Children’s Contest. We are SO proud! We appreciate the staff and leadership of Midtown for their ongoing incredible support and to the vendors who came to help us. Special thanks to our Vice President, @Maria Jacobo for once again creating this incredible event. Once again, thanks to all our supporters!!! #autismawareness #artism #haape #autismcommunity #artbasel2019 #artismexpo (at Weston, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5yq22OjJCf/?igshid=1aztnejzljt40

[northernstories]

Meet Hailey Donohue, a psychology applied behavior analysis student from Marquette, Mich. We asked Hailey about her Wildcat experience so far: 

Why did you decide to come to NMU? 

Hailey: Marquette has so much to offer; I knew I had much more to learn and so much more growth ahead of me before I left my hometown. NMU has given me an entirely new perspective on the place and the community that had raised me. What do you like about your major at NMU? 

Hailey: I love the passion for my major that is so tangible among its faculty and students. Applied behavior analysis is a field of immense growth, and that is being reflected in the major at NMU. The university has invested its trust and resources in this program, and it has paid off; the NMU Behavior, Education, Assessment & Research (BEAR) Center is a testament to that. The Center serves as a training facility for undergraduate and graduate behavior analysis students, as well as a free source of behavior analytic services to children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and other developmental disabilities in our community. The opportunity to carry out hands-on work in the final year of the program is invaluable, and the psychology/applied behavior analysis major truly prepares you to do that. Additionally, the major is an excellent representation of the connection and reciprocal relationship between the NMU community and the Marquette community as a whole. The partnerships between the behavior analysis major and local institutions (such as the local school systems and community mental health agency) in order to provide students with the opportunity to practice behavior analysis in their senior year are an excellent example of what is so special about Northern, its dedication to the Marquette community. What's an example of a cool, interesting or helpful thing that you have done as a part of your major?

Hailey: As a part of the psychology/applied behavior analysis major at NMU, I have provided behavior-analytic services to children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and other developmental disabilities. As a student behavior technician in the Behavioral Education, Assessment & Research (BEAR) Center at NMU, I have been a part of the efforts to provide free assessment, consultation, and therapeutic services for children with skill deficits and behavioral concerns in the Marquette community. Additionally, I was selected as a recipient of the Honors Summer Research Fellowship in the summer of 2018. Through this award, given to students to initiate individual research projects under a faculty mentor, I was able to carry out a literature review titled, “Exploring Sex Differences in the Side Effects of Behavioral Extinction” under the advisement of former NMU Professor Andrea Savord. I subsequently presented this research to department heads, college deans, and honors program staff. This research will continue between January and May 2019 under the NMU head of the department of psychological science, Dr. Adam Prus. This experience has exposed me to professional writing, intensive research, and has exposed gaps in the literature that now act as a catalyst for future research.

I have been so fortunate as to have been able to travel abroad during my time at NMU. I spent the winter semester of 2017 in Meknes, Morocco. I spent my time there as a full-time volunteer at the Association Ismailia des Handicapes Physiques, a school for physically and intellectually disabled children that works to improve lives through education, physical therapy, and speech therapy. During my time there I was responsible for the creation and implementation of daily lesson plans and demonstrative presentations. NMU was incredibly supportive during my time abroad; despite being far from home, I had the full assistance of the campus community to make sure I was prepared and benefitted the most from my experience. I was welcomed home to NMU with open arms, and my peers were incredibly receptive to the stories and lessons I brought home with me.

Of your activities on- or off-campus what has been the most rewarding and why? 

Hailey: The most rewarding of my experiences at NMU has undoubtedly been my time in Meknes, Morocco as a volunteer classroom aide. I chose to serve abroad while at NMU to gain the deepest understanding possible of people who live differently. I wanted to offer something in return to a place and culture that would inevitably teach me so much. Above all, my service-learning experience taught me to leave behind expectations and instead treasure each experience through the value of reflection. This lesson is one that I’ve been able to take advantage of in every aspect of my life. Crossing cultures means that expectations no longer serve as a reliable standard, but my service-learning trip showed me that no matter what experience you find yourself in, reflection will reveal its value. What's your favorite memory during your time as a student? 

Hailey: One of my favorite memories during my time at NMU has been presenting my research at the Honors Summer Research Celebration. I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to present to college deans, department heads, and honors program staff. This experience stands out among the memories of my time at NMU because it is truly unique to Northern. The close-knit community and exceptional value placed on student growth and success at Northern Michigan University make it possible to participate in things like undergraduate research. The support I have felt in the pursuit of my career through education at NMU has been priceless. Further comments about your NMU experience?

Hailey: I am so thankful for the amazing experiences NMU has provided me. It has given me an entirely new and exciting perspective on my home town and has allowed me, through its many opportunities, to give back to the community that raised me. Northern Michigan University should not be underestimated; its incredible people create a warm, friendly atmosphere, while simultaneously encouraging immense growth.

[jackymedan]

Tagged by @thisisteal

RULES: Tell your followers 11 random facts about yourself, and tag 11 people in return! Tag backs are allowed, but you mustn’t repeat any of the facts you mentioned previously! The facts can be absolutely anything! Whatever springs to mind!

If I had been a boy at birth my name would have been Robin.. since that didn’t happen I was named Miranda after a random girl who was an assistent at a dutch game show about animals (whenever someone scored a point they’d get a little monkey plushie and she’d be the one who brought them to the contestants.. or so I’ve heard.. I have seen the show in question since it continued to exist into my early childhood but I think Miranda might have been replaced by that point so idk if I’ve ever actually seen my namesake)

I’ve been a vegetarian for a little over 10 years now

I’ve never drunk a single glass of alcohol in my life (I’m 26, the legal drinking age used to be 16 here, they changed it to 18 when I was in my 20s) and I intend to keep it that way.. it has just never appealed to me in any way (same goes for smoking and drugs etc.) and it smells gross (especially beer and wine).. also being drunk honestly doesn’t sound appealing to me either.. the only context I tolerate drunk people is in fanfic tbh..

The only time I’ve been abroad longer than a day and spent the night there was when I went to Paris for 4 days with my best friend back in the summer of 2015.. before that I had only left my country once on a school trip to Germany for one afternoon.. I’ve never been on or near and airplane and am scared af of the entire concept of flying (I was actually supposed to go to Greece for a week as a mandatory school trip too, but I managed to convince the dean to let me stay at home because they would be flying and I was NOT going on that plane.. also having psoriasis and being vegetarian and some other issues I had made me not want to go either)

I’ve only owned a smartphone for less than 2 years.. before that I hated/avoided anything with a touch screen (with the exception of the original nintendo ds) and stubbornly held on to my basic af nokia phone (which I still own and use as alarm clock sometimes).. I kind of hate how fast technology changes and evolves in general.. I don’t deal well with change and it all goes way too fast for me to adapt, so I usually hide under a rock hissing at the New Scary Things for at least 3 years..

I have a weird fascination with the 1960s (and a little bit of the 70s as well).. the fashion, interior design, tv shows, movies, music, pop culture etc. of that time just really appeals to me.. it’s kind of like I was born a couple of centuries too late (see also the point above)

as a kid I had some really weird/fucked up delusions going on that really kind of fucked me up for a while and resulted in my parents not allowing me to watch dragonball z anymore for a while because for instance I was worried something/someone with the same power as captain ginyu had taken over control of my mom and my mom was now in the body of either a cat or an ant I’m not sure which one it was.. also I thought that if I passed a pole or a street lantern or something like that on a different side than someone else I was with we’d both end up on seperate/different dimensions? ??????? I had issues..

I’ve always grown up around cats, we used to have 2 cats that were literally older than me, so I’ve hardly ever lived in a cat-free house (only for a short while after the last of our original 3 cats had died and before we got a new one).. otoh we only got a dog (my mom wanted one) maybe 6 years ago idk.. and even though it’s a small one that doesn’t really know very well how to dog, it was really weird for me in the beginning.. I’m fine with that particular dog now but I get kind of anxious by large overenthusiastic dogs especially if they’re wet and running towards me.. I don’t like to be trampled over :\\

I legit kind of like spiders and they p much only scare me when they show up somewhere unexpected so it’s just the initial shock response to something being there, but then I calm down when I see it’s just a spider.. and then I get a jar and put it outside.. (granted this would probably be different if I didn’t live in the netherlands since there literally aren’t any spiders here that can seriously harm/kill a human being.. or at least not naturally out in the wild)

I’ve lived in the same house in the same city/town my entire life.. I’ve also had the same room and bed my entire life (the room did get expanded at some point and I’ve moved things around but I’ve had this colour paint on my wall since childhood.. it was supposed to be a jungle-themed room which is why there’s a painting of a toucan in a tree next to my bed)

I have adhd inattentive type and asd, both of which I wasn’t diagnosed with until after I became an adult, the latter only a few months ago (apparently I was too quiet and non-disruptive as a child for people to even consider I could have those things)