#i didn’t expect this dynamic to be so sweet tbh

[claudiaeparvier]

“Hey, old man. How’s it going?”

“Tip-top, young Frey. Tip-top.”

[nuoc7mia]

i finished the new chapter like it was my first meal in days.

[bunny-yan]

Hello!! Thanks for sharing your writing with us! I'm a fan of your Hero/Reincarnated Reader story! :D Personally, I find it very cathartic lol

I've read the manga you based your story on a long time ago (tbh they did not give justice to the previous reincarnations AT ALL in my opinion), but do you have plans to expand on why Hero left Reader for each reincarnation in your story? Is there something deeper at play here (on Hero's side or even Reader's side because I think feelings of love or even basic affection would dissipate after the second reincarnation) or is it simply he wanted to play around with others and string along Reader each time? Do you think there will be another love interest that will show up in this current life?

If escape doesn't work, how would Hero react if Reader took their own life instead? And if Reader is successful, would they be "cursed" in the next life to be Hero's childhood friend? lolol

I know it's not possible, but I think it'd be beautiful karma for Reader to fall in love and marry someone else because I feel like that would really kill Hero lol

Sorry for the question spam, but thank you again for your stories and I hope to see more adventures of Hero/Reader! :D

(Btw, how will King fit into all this or was the King/Reader/Hero story a one-off?)

So I do plan on expanding on Tasman's reasoning for leaving Reader behind and you're pretty close to his reasoning, but I thought I'd expand on how the darling would commit suicide in this particular ask. I think it would also be pretty interesting to watch Tasman suffer and be forced to watch his darling find happiness with someone else so def saving that for a future draft!

The Sharing is Caring Series are one-off stories that include two+ yans, but if you're interested in seeing that sort of dynamic I am more than willing to write for it! Hopefully this answered your question <3

TW:Mentions Death, Depictions of Violence, Implied Violence, Suicide, Language, Infantilization, Minors DNI

—

It began slowly. 

If you moved too quickly he would notice because he caught anything and everything. Watching you was a hobby of his and when you weren’t allowed to leave his sight, it was no surprise that he got good at it. 

You didn’t come on too strong. 

It was hard to imagine he’d have anything other than suspicion if you put on a lovey dovey act, throwing yourself into his arms and professing your love when you couldn’t stand the sight of him the week before. Couldn’t stand his words whether they called you selfish or repeated his desperate love. Couldn’t stand his hands as they grabbed at you, forcing you to comply while convincing himself that this was what you also wanted, you were just too blind to see it. Too angry. 

The goddess knew what she was doing, tying your souls together and to fight a fate as destined as the two of yours? 

It was foolish. 

So you played the fool. 

You let him think that you were slowly coming around to his way of thinking. 

You couldn’t forget the look on his face when you actually apologized in the middle of a heated argument. He was yelling about the distance you were creating between the two of you, telling you that you weren’t letting your love and relationship grow if you were going to continue to treat him like a monster and you snapped an apology in his face. 

It wasn’t sweet and demure, it didn’t even hold an ounce of regret, but it was an apology nonetheless and the last words he expected to come out of your mouth. 

You crossed your arms, looking away from him and when it took him a moment to regain himself, telling you that he was grateful that you were finally seeing reason, you held back the vicious words you wanted to hurl into his face. 

Oh, you loved when his face would twist in outrage or hurt or better yet a mix of the two. 

It meant nothing good for you or for your body the next day leading to the week after but sometimes you couldn’t ignore the momentary satisfaction of letting him know just how you felt. 

But you would endure. You would wait and bide your time for the one thing you’d wanted to do since you’d memorized the number of cracks in each of the four walls, restarting your count whenever he blew his top, taking his anger out on them instead of you. 

Tasman was smart. He was suspicious when the two of you began to argue less, a questioning look piercing your body. 

You didn’t yell until you lost your voice, you didn’t give him the silent treatment, or call him an awful monster, no. 

He was right. 

Yes, you were being selfish for refusing the gift that was his presence.

You were inconsiderate for not thanking him for stealing you away from your life, ruining any chance you had at peace and true happiness. 

He was so right when he told you that he knew what was best for the two of you and that when you denied it, you didn’t really know what you were saying. You were just confused. 

Selfish, inconsiderate, confused. Keeping up the facade was harder than you thought it’d be. 

Whenever he came to you, upset about something you did or some affection you didn’t give, you just mumbled out an apology, going back to doing whatever it was you were doing. 

Tasman felt complex. He didn’t understand why one moment he couldn’t get through to you and the next you understood what he’d been trying to get across so desperately for months. When he finally asked, you told him that you were tired of arguing. You were tired of not being happy. That maybe you had overreacted when he came back. That despite him not being able to get it right for the first eight lives the two of you spent together it would only hurt the two of you further if you continued to bring up the past. You wanted to move on, to start anew. To give the two of you a chance. 

You couldn’t explain the look on his face. 

It was hopeful. It was… something you might have fallen for had you not already come so far. 

It took some time getting used to your willing affection. 

He’d stiffen when you’d lean against him when the two of you were riding a horse to your next destination, not twisting in uncomfortable ways to avoid him. You accepted the meals he brought to you, going so far to make him tea when he seemed stressed. You didn’t stray too far away from the camp and when you did you didn’t throw a tantrum, telling him that he needed to give you space or that he was suffocating you. His hands were hesitant when they touched you but his desire quickly made him comfortable. You no longer sneered or pulled away, you would rest in his arms when he held you. Something he could only dream about the last few months. But his dream were becoming a reality. 

A part of him was suspicious, afraid that this was too good to be true that your behavior was a front to attempt another plan of escape but the other part of him, the hopeful part of him wanted to believe.

You wanted to be with him. You wanted to be happy with him. 

Lost in thought, he smiled when you came over, serving him your usual herbal tea. You said it was meant to relax him, and he’d definitely felt as if he was on cloud nine. Maybe being able to pull you into his lap as he did, was apart of his feeling of floating on air but he didn’t think about it too deeply. 

“Lover?” he began, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

You hummed, your usual response whenever he required your attention. 

What was he going to say? 

He felt like this was good to be true. He felt as if this was all a ruse and that you were hiding something deeper, something more sinister. 

Sure he felt off, but maybe he was just second guessing himself. Maybe everything was fine and he just couldn’t imagine happiness for himself. Maybe it had been so long that it seemed impossible but the two of you had nothing if not hope. Hope that you could finally get it right this time. Hope that you could understand a fraction of the feelings he has for you, even if you couldn’t return them… right now. 

“It’s nothing.” he said after a long pause, heaving out a sigh. “Just promise me something?”

Humming again, he gripped you tighter before saying, “Promise me that we’ll always be together like this.”

There was a short pause, he felt a small inkling of fear that grew insurmountably in the time it took for you to respond, but he let out a breath of relief that didn’t quite ease his worries when you finally said, 

“I promise.”

~*~

Tasman woke up and immediately knew that something was wrong. 

He’d been tired but he’d never felt anything like this. His body was heavy like lead, each muscle refusing to move and his eyes were heavy with exhaustion. It took all the strength in his body to blink and when his vision finally cleared he saw shadows dancing across the ceiling. 

His hearing might have been the one sense that hadn’t been impeded because he could hear the familiar song you used to sing when the two of you were younger. It’d been so long since the last time he’d heard it. 

It took a considerable amount of strength to turn his head and when he saw you, sitting in your familiar corner on the windowsill he felt his heart ache to call out to you, but it was difficult to swallow, to speak. 

You stopped humming when you heard his breathing turn ragged. 

Turning around, he didn’t like the unconcerned look in your eyes as you watched him. 

“You’re awake?”

“What… what did you do to me?”

Your expression didn’t change, glancing back towards the window as you pulled your legs closer. 

“I was worried that I’d get caught. I knew you were suspicious, but there wasn’t much I could do about that.”

“What did you do?” he asked, voice lacking his usual seething tone due to whatever you had done. He’d been too close to you for you to make deals with any dark mages. The time and effort it took would be too long, too strenuous and too obvious. 

This couldn’t be magic.

“Did you know the goddess created an entirely new system for your body?” you asked, voice curious as you rested your head on your knees. “It should’ve been obvious. Your body is impervious to the heat, cold, wind, sand, or snow, and most physical and magical attacks do nothing to hurt you.”

You frowned, “It’s unfair. It’s no wonder the demon king never defeated you in any of our past lives.”

Tasman’s breath was ragged. He didn’t want to know. Gritting his teeth, he said, “Answer me.”

Looking at him, he was unnerved with how unbothered you were. “I tested it out. How much poison I could feed you without you noticing before it started having an effect but it never worked. But of course I should’ve figured that lethal doses in regular people would do nothing to you.”

You laughed, humorless and dry as you shook your head. “Do you know the trouble I went to to make sure you wouldn’t pick up on it? And you were too eager at the opportunity of a relationship that you let me do it.” 

“You-You can’t hurt me. Whatever you did I’ll-”

You shook your head, almost disgusted. 

“Tasman, this was never about hurting you.” 

He watched as your feet slid down the windowsill, light illuminating the edges of your body. You took slow, measured steps as you spoke, a whisper of a smile on your face. 

“I prayed to the goddess that you wouldn’t feel it. That there was a chance, that for once in one of my lives I’d get what I wanted.” You felt yourself get emotional as you recalled everything you’d been through. “I waited for you. I wanted you to love me and I couldn’t have it. I wanted a new life and I couldn’t have it. I’ve tried everything, Tasman and you know what I've noticed. You were the reason for every misstep.” 

He tried shaking his head, tried telling you what he really meant what you meant to him. 

“I’m trying, I’ll try just please-”

You shook your head, the humorless laugh almost floating from your body. 

“It doesn’t matter. Do you really think that if you were willing to make things work it wouldn’t have happened by now? In any of our lives? It’s the goddess’s desire that we remain together and yet we can never make it work. You wouldn’t listen to me no matter how much I cried, screamed, protested that this wasn’t right. That you were hurting me.”

His throat was tight with emotion, pleading almost begging in the raspy tone of his. 

“Please, I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what was triggering his senses that something was wrong. It could’ve been whatever you had drugged him with but he had an ominous premonition. 

“You aren’t. If you were, we wouldn't be here right now and I wouldn’t have had to repeat myself so many times.” 

Shaking your head, he finally noticed the glint against the silver metal, watching as it raced before you put the hilt of the blade against your head. 

“You don’t listen. You don’t care what I have to say. I throw tantrums as far as you’re concerned. And the minute I leave you drag me back and treat me like a petulant child, scolding me for leaving your side.” 

You didn’t know if you were talking to yourself or if this was for him but you couldn’t stop. 

“When I want you, you want nothing to do with me and when I want nothing to do with you, I can’t get two seconds without you breathing down my neck.”

“What-”

“I want nothing to do with you and yet I have to force myself to tolerate your existence, tolerate you touching me, choke on the words you force down my throat just for the chance that you’d leave me alone long enough to find the right herb. Just long enough to not notice what I mixed in your drinks.”

His froze in realization. How long had you planned this?

“And it finally worked.” You smiled, coming near the bedside and crouching in front of him. You could see the anger in his eyes up close without fear that he’d lash out at you. 

“How could you do this to me?” 

You gave him a mock pout, cocking your head to the side. “Poor Tasman. It must’ve been so rough getting everything you ever wanted. Everyone’s love and affection, the power of the world at your fingertips, even my love!” For the first time you got angry. “You had my fucking love in your hands and you crushed it. You treated me as if I didn’t matter to you. And I guess at the end of the day, I don’t.” A harsh laugh escaped from your lips as you narrowed your eyes on him. “I’m no hero. There aren’t millions of people who are relying on me to defeat the big bad demon king. There wouldn't be riots in the street if I up and disappeared and there won’t be, because it isn’t the case for you. You won’t disappear. You’ll just keep coming up with new ways to make sure I’ll never be able to escape from you and they won’t bat an eye. Because you matter to people. You matter. Even if you’d abandon them the next day for your own selfish greed.”

“What are you going to do with that?” he asked, understanding his meaning when his eyes looked at the blade in your hand. 

You sneered, narrowing your eyes as you said, “Don’t worry. This isn’t for you.” 

It didn’t take him long to figure out what you meant. 

“Don’t. This is stupid. We’ll just start over and I’ll know. Let’s just work this out and we can-”

Standing, you brushed off your clothes, the gesture nervous as you looked down at the sharp blade. 

“It was never about you.” you said quietly. You gave a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. 

He was getting desperate. He couldn’t threaten you, he couldn’t beg or plead or say anything to convince you against this. 

“You promised.”

There was a pause and for a moment he felt that maybe you’d reconsider. That you’d realize that your behavior was hysterical and that you take a moment to calm down. 

“I did and I’ll keep my promise.”

Looking at him, you shook your head. 

“You said it yourself. We’ll just start over.”

The slow realization in his eyes was enough. 

“I want you to live with what you did to me. I want you to know that I'll never let you hurt me again.”

It happened before he could say anything. 

Your movements were sharp and jerky, stumbling after plunging the blade into your throat. 

He felt his soul cry out, begging his body to move, pleading to the goddess that he’d give anything, sacrifice anything if he could just get to you in this moment. He could heal you if you would just come a little closer, but you staggered against the windowsill, moving farther away, staring at him as you began to choke on your blood. 

He watched you suffer, watched your body twitch and fight against the pain, and watched as you finally went still. Leaning against the side of the windowsill, still staring at him. 

Tasman couldn’t move. 

His body wouldn’t listen to him. He felt tears slide down the side of his face as he choked on a strangled cry. 

He couldn’t move. 

He felt the overwhelming, aching desire to cradle you in his arms. To hold you close. To wipe the blood away from your face. To shut your accusing eyes but he couldn’t move. 

Whatever you had given him kept him in a docile state. Kept him still and feeling too guilty to look away from your eyes. Your soulless eyes. He could tell. He felt as if something was missing from his own as he continued to stare into the eyes missing life, the eyes he’d watch fade quickly. 

Too quickly. 

[meili-sheep]

So this is from our good friend 🐱 anon! And while this isn't like specifically harem, I'll probably cover the Harem and extras. And we'll start with Nation so

Mondstadt!

So Albedo. Would instantly start asking diluc questions and start performing tests. For Hexenzirkel Mom Diluc, Albedo probably tries to see if there is something from Diluc's mother at play. Probably test Klee's strength as well, just to be safe. He probably starts looking for a connection between pyro energy and physical prowess as well. So he would have a rather mundane reaction and just go into him being well Albedo.

Now for Eula. She's probably heard about former Captain crazy strength but most likely dismissed it, thinking it was just an exaggeration. Then he flips a fucking Ruin Grader. She probably has just a moment. I mean, I can't blame her, though. I'd need one too. Specially because right after, he'd go into sweetheart mode and start asking if she's ok. And generally acting very sweet and kind despite the fact HE JUST FLIPPED A FUCKING RUIN GRADER. Of course, after such an embarrassment like this, she will need a little revenge and make sure Diluc knows who's top dog.

Now main ships outta the way, let's talk about Venti. Because you can't tell me that either Ragnvindr or the Red-Haired warrior could do the same thing. And it's something Venti rather casually forgot. In general, he forgets that Diluc is his equivalent to Zhongli's General Alatus, like if Xiao was more chaotic and had an issue with authority. And Flipping a Ruin Grader would be a very good reminder for Venti.

Moving on, I also want to briefly mention Rosaria and Kaeya. Mostly because Rosaria knows Diluc has a lot of surprises, but she was not expecting that. And Kaeya. He's been dealing with this bull since they were kids, so just them at the bar, and Rosaria is just still stunned.

"He flipped. A whole. Ruin Grader..."

"Really? Glad he's still in condition then."

"Huh? What do you."

"I once saw him hug a boar when we were kids... He hugged it so hard he broke the poor thing's ribs. And would not stop crying about it."

Liyue

Starting with Zhongli. He'd probably have the most normal reaction out of everyone, and that's probably because. Zhongli sees himself as a normal human, or he wants to. So weird like that he is very used to playing it off as normal human things. He really does applaud Diluc's form, though. Probably makes some suggestions.

Now to Xiao. This would really be a heartthrob moment for Xiao, tbh. And he's gonna deny it like his life depends on it. Like NO It definitely wasn't hot that his human boyfriend flipped a whole ruin grader over his shoulder! Definitely not! And he still probably frets over Diluc after words and makes sure he didn't get injured.

So Yelan is getting put here because I see her and Ningguang and friends of Diluc. I particularly see them as members of the underground network. And Diluc doesn't report to either. He respects them a lot. They both would be incredibly impressed, but here is the thing with these two. They see Diluc as their "cute" junior. So despite having taken down a Ruin grader with his bare hands, he now gets cooed at by these two women telling him how proud they are. It's embarrassing but he can't do anything but take it.

Now on to the others. And here is my favorite underrated dynamic, Diluc and Yanfei. She is his lawyer, and no one can tell me otherwise. They are both the more serious of the Pyros and the only ones who can control the chaos. But ummm. Yanfei forgets Diluc is also chaotic. And after seeing him flip a Ruin Grader, She probably starts working on a damage claim argument centering around Diluc being unable to control his ridiculous strength. She did end up using it. and it did keep Diluc out of jail.

Inazuma

Thoma, much like Kaeya, grew up with Diluc's bull. So he isn't really surprised when he sees Diluc flips a ruin grader but probably offers him a snack or something afterward, making sure he's ok and didn't strain himself or anything.

Now I'm putting Ayato and Ayaka together. Because, well, I imagine that Ayaka is constantly dealing with a love-struck brother. And this would be another case. And this would be a case where Ayato would start in on how of course, Diluc is the strongest because Ayato only like the best of the best and has the most incredible tastes, and Diluc is simply the greatest. And Ayaka is in shock that a human can even do that, and everything her brother is saying is just going in one here and out the other. As she just sits there stunned and makes a mental note to make sure no one upsets Master Diluc.

So Itto is a hype man. And this would send him into overdrive. While his whole gang is just stunned, they just have to go along with what Itto it telling them because, well. That guy just took down a ruin grader barehanded. Like yeah, Itto can do that. But he's an oni... but Diluc... Diluc's just supposed to be a regular guy.

But after the shock wears off. They totally join Itto in the hype team and praise Diluc to the sun and back. He is very embarrassed about it all and well.

Sumeru

Al Haitham. You can't tell me it doesn't work out like he does it mostly to stay healthy. But he's probably stronger than people give him credit for. But seeing Diluc do that...

That's a whole different level. He probably pulls a little bit of an Albedo and goes into investigative mode. But, um, a little more creepy and just watches Diluc in his daily routine. Probably ends up coming to the conclusion that Diluc... mostly likely has some supernatural ancestry that he's managed to inherit and levels it there.

Kaveh. He'd nearly have a heart attack. Like he would deal with it in phases.

Stunned silence.

horny

realization of horny

a bit of shame about the horny a bit of embarrassment about the horny

acceptance of the horny

simp

So as the newest Bully Memeber, I gotta put Tighnari here. And let me say he would go mildly Albedo but then start probably going feeding Diluc weird plants and testing them with Diluc's strength. And they would become a chaotic NIGHTMARE.

Now Dehya is another Big Sis I give to Diluc. And I can not tell you how proud she would be. I mean, she would instantly suplex him to assert dominance, but that's ok She's still proud.

[agentbootyreportingforduty]

so many things happened where i didn’t expect them to happpen like this or i’m just so confused by this direction??

• zava retiring with no fanfare or foreshadowing or anything after they just built him up for so many episodes??? i thought he’d end up injured or joining an opposing team like something dramatic

• shandy storyline like what is the point of having her go and make her own pr firm cmon like we do nottt want to see that bffr 😭

• higgins wanting to fire ted and them just brushing past it……… 🧍‍♀️

• the way we won so bad with jack and keeley and the bi keeley confirmation we’ve always wanted but like it’s gonna feel so wrong when they go back to focusing on roy x keeley. they didn’t consider the optics on that at all

• jade not showing any interest in nate before this but suddenly she’s into him? like they’re cute but i thought it’d be way more of a slow burn tbh

• what was the point of having keeley basically ignore rebecca this entire episode as she goes through something really difficult :( so ooc and also psychic storyline taking up wayyyy too much time this season like I thought it was gonna be sumn quick

• trent feeling more and more attached to the team and trying to help with strategy was so sweet but then also none of anyone’s ideas worked? i would have understood if the team were still affected by nate’s betrayal for a few games but why are they flopping suddenly no matter what and even with zava?? I wish we got to see more team dynamics or even training with zava so we could see firsthand how he was affecting morale

• still no update to colin or his relationship with michael or trent knowing or anything when it was such a huge cliffhanger

anyways im confused on some storyline choices and while i love the show i think media criticism and review is important as well so these are just my jumbled up thoughts and my personal opinion!!

[swampstew]

Germa 66's Cold-Blooded Voyage - Niji's solo adventure: "Manifest destiny nepo baby does a kidnapping"

Oh yandere! This one goes out to my bestie @vinsmoke-vi - please come get your man😩

WC: 663 CW: Spicy; not-gender specific reader; Yandere Niji with vision impairment; kidnapping reader; consent/non con/dubious consent and maybe Stockholm syndrome?; murder and unhealthy relationship dynamics; reader is in for a time.

Oh no. And it’s not like you can say no, he is royalty after all. Say goodbye to all your known comforts, friends and family because he will swoop in, grab you, and whisk you back to his kingdom. You have 0% chance of escaping or any hope of rescue, he’s from the GERMA KINGDOM. As he tries to get you to settle down in his room, you manage to get away from him and make an escape attempt. It didn’t last very long, and the last thing you can manage is striking him across the face, knocking his glasses off. He frowns as the glasses scatter across the floor and you stand there as you take in the man known as Vinsmoke Niji.

He’s vision impaired. Niji straightens up and smirks. “It’s good you see me like this, we should know everything about each other. For example, I might be blind without my enhanced goggles, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find you.” One second he was in front of you, the next he was behind you pressing you against his lean, hard body. “I’m invulnerable,” as he wraps his hand around your throat, not yet squeezing. “It’s better for you if you just accept your fate, why won’t you just comply? I’m your prince and at my side, you’ll be royalty too, you should be grateful I’ve saved you from the rags you wear!” he almost swoons at his own words, tightening his grip on your throat. Tears impair your vision as your windpipe is further constricted, only loosening when you nod furiously.

Niji was serious when he said it was time to get to know each other, and so he made you spill all your beans. He did reciprocate, which tbh you didn’t expect, and you were shocked (and appalled) that his own father genetically mutilated him to strip him of his humanity – his emotions. No wonder the sick son of a bitch kidnapped you and feels no remorse or shame. Unfortunately, he probably doesn’t have the capacity for love either. Like he read your mind: a giant smile forms on his face. “Just because I don’t have love doesn’t mean I can’t show love.” He spends the entire day whisking you around and having the servants order anything and everything you’ve ever wanted. His love language is bribery gifts. They range from posh and pricey to utterly deranged. “Niji, please stop killing and making wild animal trophies for me.” “Y/N, this tramp was objectifying me with her eyes, so I killed her for you!” “Niji no!” “Niji yes!”

Niji has no shame, so he doesn’t care about pushing your boundaries. He wants what he wants, he doesn’t take no for an answer so he will keep at it until you change your mind. If you actually mean “no,” he throws a massive fucking tantrum that can only be soothed away with relentless murder. So, he’s going to take a few days to himself to cool off. You’ll need time to reflect on your bratty behavior too – so he locks you in the same prison his father locked his younger “failure of a brother.” If seeing those conditions doesn’t fix your bratty attitude, he’s going to have a word with Judge to see if there’s anything to be done about it.

However, life with Niji doesn’t have to be all bad. He loves a compliant darling – not that he’d ever call you that to your face. A good captive partner will be appreciative of all he gives them AND reciprocate his affections. If you meet all his expectations and demands, you’ll be rewarded tenfold. The upside of being ruthless warmongers, they’re rich as fuck. Niji, for what its worth, does love you. In his own fucked up, twisted way. And he loves how well you accepted and transitioned into his lifestyle. Sometimes when you’re sleeping, he’ll lean down and whisper sweet things about his ‘darling.’

[angstyaches]

couldn't resist sending you a few prompts from that list, what yummy dialogue!! i'd love to see some sick Donnacha and caretaker Henry (i adore their dynamic, it soothes my soul) maybe using "you're still alive, right?" and "shit, i've never been this sick in my life." i'm also fond of "i hid the car keys. you're. staying. home." but tbh flick everything you write is pure gold so please go for whatever prompts tickle your fancy <3

Anon asked:

yay! i wasn’t sure if you were so i didn’t want to make a request without checking first. from the question ideas #15 post that you reblogged, would you be interested in writing something for donnacha around the “bad day?” prompt? i’m kinda obsessed with the platonic caretaking between him and henry. i’m also really interested to know if donnacha will continue to explore his sexuality beyond his kiss with henry (without actually involving henry in the experimentation) and how any potential realizations will make him feel

Quotes are from this prompt list.

Thank you for the opportunity to expand upon Donnacha's bisexual journey because I've actually wanted to do that for ages.

CW: anxiety, slight (bisexual) panic, coming out, nausea, stomach ache, emeto, platonic caretaking, implied potential sc*t,

Word Length: fucking long.

___

11:36pm 

When he walked through the hallway and into the living room at this hour, he didn’t expect to find the room filled with basically everybody he knew – besides his family and his rugby mates. 

Donnacha froze, feeling like he’d just stepped off a plane. Or a merry-go-round. Somewhere he didn’t quite feel like himself, where the rules of life sort of went out the window, and existence itself shifted a little bit. 

All the nerves and adrenaline and sparkly feelings that had filled his night all left him at the same time, dumping him right back in the thick of reality. 

His stomach took a particularly low dip as he noticed Payton on the couch, their arm draped around Autumn’s shoulders. They both stiffened when they saw him, but they didn’t disentangle from each other. 

“Hi,” Autumn said. Her hair was longer than the last time he’d seen her. 

“Hiya,” Donnacha mumbled. 

Payton didn’t greet him. He’d been cold with them for so long now that they barely bothered anymore. Donnacha’s stomach twisted with guilt, as well as a hint of victory. An empty sort of victory, but still. 

Lucy was sitting on the couch too, in pyjama bottoms and a hoodie, one knee pulled to her chest. She looked up briefly from her phone. “Oh, hey, Donnacha.” 

And then Henry fixed him with a look, and Donnacha felt like he could breathe again. He was sitting at the dining table, with his worn copy The Catcher in the Rye and a cup of tea.  

Tea sounded fucking lovely, actually. The cocktails had been yummy while he’d been drinking them, but he would appreciate something to wash the sickly-sweet aftertaste out of his mouth and settle the burning upset in his belly. 

“How was it?” Henry asked him, ever straight to the point. 

That snagged everybody else’s attention more than Donnacha’s initial arrival had.  

God, he loved Henry, but he could kill him sometimes. 

“Oh, shit,” Lucy exclaimed, eyeing Donnacha’s jeans – his nice jeans, not his everyday jeans – and shirt. She let her phone rest on her knee. “Did you have another date tonight?” 

“Yeah, I did,” he responded weakly, focusing on her rather than letting his eyes trail towards Autumn. “It was kind of a... last-minute thing.” 

“Another date,” Autumn repeated. She was braver than him. Always had been. Ran headlong into things with a smile on her face. 

Donnacha gritted his teeth and tried his best to look casual as he met her gaze. 

“I didn’t know you were dating someone.” She looked genuinely happy for him, which Donnacha silently resented, and resented himself for resenting. Payton shifted their weight, and for once, Donnacha couldn’t even bask in their discomfort, because this was extremely uncomfortable for him, too. 

“Two someones, actually,” he blurted out. The words immediately tasted horrible in his mouth. He had no desire to make Autumn jealous, so what was this burning need to prove something? What was he even trying to prove?  

“Two?” Henry’s interest was renewed. “You weren’t out with the same person as yesterday?” 

Donnacha forced a smile, promising himself he wouldn’t get mad at Henry. But Christ, he just wanted a cup of tea, not an inquisition. 

“Nope,” he said. 

“Okay, so, how was it tonight?” Lucy wanted to know. She propped her fist under her chin and leaned onto her knees. “Was she pretty? Nice?” 

“Um...” Donnacha felt a tickle of a laugh rise in his chest, despite everything. His hands and his voice were trembling, which was mildly ridiculous. “Actually, he was... cute.” 

The room fell silent, and his unsettled belly was suddenly flooded with an anxious buzzing. This wasn’t the fluttery anticipation he’d felt at the start of the night, like he was a teenager about to step onto the field for his first under-20s game. This was despair, like fumbling the ball and costing his team the winning try during his first under-20s game. 

It sank in all at once, what he had just done. Jesus, what a way to come out to two of his roommates and his ex-girlfriend as... whatever he was. He probably should have at least waited until he had a word for it. 

“He was a polite sort of lad. Pulled my chair out for me, which has never happened to me before, actually,” Donnacha chuckled, mainly because nobody else was saying anything. The only person whose gaze he could bear to meet was Henry’s, and when he did, Henry gave him a little wink of approval. 

And then Donnacha got his breath back.  

He could kill Henry sometimes, but he loved him. 

Lucy looked the least surprised out of the other three, but she still squinted at him like he was a maths test and she’d slept through the last ten lessons. “Okay, sorry, but... yesterday, it was a girl, right? You showed me a picture. She had long, brown hair, a tattoo on her neck –” 

“That was, um, a genderqueer person, actually.” Donnacha rubbed the back of his neck. He wished he could stop saying ‘actually’ so much; he butchered it with his accent every time, and it made him feel like he was being insincere when he wasn’t. “Not a ‘she’.” 

“Oh,” Lucy exclaimed. “Oh, sorry.” 

“And... how did that one go?” Payton’s voice was low and somewhat deliberate. It was probably the first time they’d spoken directly to him in a week. 

“Ve was very nice.”  

Even Henry looked shocked and impressed this time; he’d surely assumed that someone like Donnacha wouldn’t even know what neopronouns were, let alone manage to use them in a sentence. It seemed like a silly thing to feel smug about, but Donnacha couldn’t help it. He barely recognised himself these days; it almost felt necessary to let some other people in on the craziness. 

“But m-maybe a bit too intellectual,” Donnacha went on, despite the swelling discomfort in his stomach. He was over-sharing. He had never been like this. Maybe he’d always talked things out with Autumn one-on-one, and now his ramblings needed other outlets. “I think ve would get, um, bored of me very quickly.” 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Lucy frowned. 

Donnacha shivered, breathing hard against a wave of nausea. What the hell was wrong with him? Henry and Lucy were both gay, Payton was nonbinary, and Autumn was... well, he wasn’t entirely sure, but she was clearly attracted to someone who wasn’t a man, so not necessarily straight. This was the safest room of people he could be in. 

So why did he feel like he was going to faint, or throw up, or both? 

“Anyway. Cuppa?” He skimmed his gaze over Payton, Autumn, and Lucy. “No? Hen?” 

Henry shook his head. “No, thanks, hon, I’m still nursing mine.” 

“So you are.” Donnacha snapped his fingers in the direction of Henry’s mug. He’d never snapped his fingers before pointing at anything before in his life.  

Before he could do or say anything else weird, he turned towards the kitchen. His knees threatened to sag while he was putting water in the kettle, ears straining towards the living room. It felt like he’d just let off a slew of random fireworks and then left. He wondered if they would talk about him now, while he was out of sight.  

Sweat crackled on his forehead. What whispers would Autumn and Payton be sharing? Donnacha wondered – again – why he even cared. His feelings for Autumn were in the past. If she broke up with Payton and asked Donnacha to take her back tomorrow, he would say no. He knew that, as certainly as he knew Henry’s favourite chocolate was 70% cocoa with sea salt. His feelings for her had changed. That was what his kiss with Henry had taught him.  

He slapped a dry teabag against the back of his hand while he waited for the kettle to finish boiling. His cheeks puffed out under the force of a slow, lazy belch that crept up from his gut. God, those cocktails were not sitting great. Donnacha’s throat felt sticky, as though he was still sipping one. Now that his mood was dipping, he couldn’t help thinking that the fried chicken they had ordered to the table had been a little hard to choke down. He wasn’t used to deep-fried food, and he could feel how his belly was gurgling away trying to digest the greasy coating and the stringy meat. 

At this point in time, he remembered the unpleasantness of the food, and the shifting of his stomach, more than he remembered the face of the man that he’d shared it with. Although, that might have had to do with the fact that he felt like he was suffocating right now. 

Do you know what? Tea, be damned. Who could be arsed standing around, waiting for a kettle to boil, when they were embarrassed and not feeling well? 

Donnacha skulked back through the living area, slowing down but not stopping. 

“I’m off to bed, actually,” he said. Actually. He didn’t meet anyone’s gaze this time. “I’m wrecked. I’ll see yous tomorrow, or...” He broke himself off with a nod as he ducked through the archway and bolted for his bedroom. 

11:58pm 

He sat and fidgeted with his phone for a couple of minutes. He had texts from both Josh and Willow, but every time he thought about composing a reply to either of them, it felt like they were both in the room, standing over him with their shoes pressed against his chest. Josh with his brogues, Willow with ver knee-high boots. Josh, smelling like musk and molasses; Willow, smelling like an ocean breeze. Both of them fantastic and gorgeous and, apparently, waiting for texts back from him because they liked him. 

So why couldn't he stop focusing on the looks he might get if he walked about town with either one of them on his arm? Why, instead of giddy and excited, did he only feel this sickening dread?  

“Donnacha!” Henry’s voice said sharply on the other side of the door, as though they’d been in the middle of a conversation and Donnacha had said something outrageous. 

His skin prickled, hot then cold. He got up, stomped over, and opened the door. “What?” 

Henry made a face and shut his eyes, like he was rebooting himself. When he spoke again, there was something a little more fragile about his voice. 

“Bad day, was it?” 

“No! It was fine! I told you.” Donnacha sat down on his bed again. Standing was doing his stomach no favours.  

Henry paced in behind him.  

“Maybe our personalities didn’t click very well,” Donnacha shrugged. “Maybe he reminded me a bit too much of myself. And I might now know who or what I’m interested in, but I know for a fact I’m not interested in going out with myself.” 

Henry nodded as though what he was hearing wasn’t the ramblings of a slightly drunk man having a crisis. 

“And, of course, I was nervous,” Donnacha murmured, lowering his chin slightly. “You know? I’m twenty-five and casually dating for the first time ever. And it was a lad, hen. And this... the lads thing, it – it still feels weird, actually.” Actually. “But I was... no, I was the normal amount of nervous. It was a normal kind of date. Just normal.” 

Henry shifted his weight from one leg to the other, cane tilting with his hips. “Donnacha, I... asked if you had a bad day. Not a bad date.” 

Donnacha swallowed, this time tasting the chicken grease right in the back of his throat. He folded his arms over his middle and leaned forward, testing how the pressure felt against his stomach. “Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Misheard ya, then.” Donnacha sniffed and cleared his throat. And then words came out of his mouth in a dizzying rush. "Bad days, I-I've had any amount of those recently."

"What?" Henry asked hoarsely. "And... you didn't think to say anything?"

Donnacha shrugged. He noticed that Henry’s glasses were slipping down his nose, just a bit, but he was eyeing the way Donnacha was sitting, hugging his belly.

“Are... you feeling sick?” 

Instead of a verbal reply, Donnacha hiccupped, the pain cutting so deeply through his chest that he made a choking sound like he’d been punched. 

“You gonna be sick?” Henry asked, casting a glance towards the hallway as an afterthought, presumably wondering if Lucy’s ears had pricked up at his words. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything, Hen!” Donnacha was raising his voice now, and he either didn’t care, or cared immensely. “I – I don’t even know who I am anymore.” 

Donnacha’s face burned as the words escaped him.  

Jesus Christ.  

He’d never been this moody and self-indulgent, but it felt as though he’d stumbled across this beautiful, yet painfully delicate, thing inside of him, and the thought of exposing it – allowing it to be observed, critiqued, potentially broken – to the world made him want to scream. 

Back home, he’d have sent his old man into absolute uproar if he’d come out with a line like that, accusing him of having too much time on his hands. His secondary school coach would have asked him if he’d rather join the drama society (ironically, of course, since his school hadn’t had a drama society). Even the lads on the current team would probably chuckle at him, or, at best, nudge him in the direction of a counsellor rather than have him bang on like this in front of them. 

Henry didn’t ridicule him. He didn’t accuse him of being soft. 

Instead, Henry hobbled forward to stand next to him, combed his fingers through Donnacha’s hair, and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. Donnacha sighed – or was it a little sob? – and tilted his head against Henry’s stomach. It felt good to have a body so close to him. This was more physical contact than he had experienced on either of his two dates, and that thought was so confusing that it made the knots in his stomach pull even tighter. 

“You don’t have to know,” Henry whispered. “You don’t have to know anything. Your story belongs to you, and no one else.” 

Bile rose in Donnacha’s throat. “Bit late for that now.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, I... made a show of myself, didn’t I?” Donnacha flicked a hand in the general direction of the living area, as though the scene where he’d announced his sexual fluidity was still taking place out there, in open defiance of him and his current feelings about it. 

“You didn’t make a show of yourself. Donnacha, what are you on about?” Henry tilted his head and brushed a tear away from Donnacha’s cheek with his thumb. His hand was a little cold, thanks to his bad circulation, “Exactly what do you think you did wrong?” 

“I... I don’t know. I thought talking about it would be easier, is all,” Donnacha said on a trembling sigh. His stomach cramped, but the pain felt secondary to the panic that had wound its way around his chest. “It felt weird, a-and... it felt like stripping down to the nip and waving my arse in the air, with all of you watching me.” 

“That’s...” A smile, both wry and fond, crept through the lines in Henry’s features. “Unfortunately, that’s what coming out often feels like. I mean, maybe it was too soon for you, and you took yourself by surprise. You sure as fuck took me by surprise.”  

Donnacha chuckled drily, and Henry kissed his head again.  

“But I was so proud of you, hon.” 

A spark of warmth circled Donnacha’s heart. 

“Hope you know that.” 

Donnacha tried to swallow around a hiccup, not wanting to ruin what felt like a tender moment, but he failed spectacularly and ended up belching instead.

“Thank you," he mumbled. "‘Scuse me.” 

"We'll chat more tomorrow. I think you should try to get some sleep.” 

“I will, if you get out of my room, you weirdo,” Donnacha mumbled. He reached up to squeeze Henry’s arm before sinking back a little on the bed.  

“Rude.” Henry finally adjusted his glasses. He glanced towards Donnacha’s bedside cabinet. “You never made that cup of tea, by the way. Do you want me to bring you one?” 

Donnacha curled his lip, rubbing one hand over his middle. “Nah, my stomach really doesn’t feel great.” 

Henry nodded, eyeing him warily again. “Well, I’ve been having atrocious insomnia, so let me know if you need anything.” 

12:21am 

Jesus, but these cramps were getting brutal now. 

Donnacha was relieved that Henry hadn’t decided to spend the night in his room, because as soon as he had laid down, it sounded like a lawnmower engine had started up in his belly. 

He had resigned himself to sleeping on his back, which he didn’t usually do. Acid sloshed into the base of his oesophagus, thanks to the heartless bitch called gravity, but it was the only position he could find where he could cradle his sore, gurgling stomach with both hands. He woke a few times to find his hands had slid to his sides and had to readjust them. 

4:07am 

A car horn blasted him fully from his sleep.  

Donnacha groaned in pain (Oh, sweet Jesus, my belly hurts) and confusion (who the hell is sitting on their horn at this hour?!). He was starting to think he’d never get used to living in the town. Back home, the most he’d ever be woken up by was a crying fox, and even that used to be an exciting affair that he’d share with his parents and sisters over breakfast. (Did any of yous hear the fox last night?!) 

He sat up in bed, and as he did, his belly growled like he was starving, when he was in fact the opposite. Its contents went tumbling over into a heavy pile. Donnacha let out a hiccup-belch, his throat too tight to release enough air to relieve any of the pain. 

He planted a hand on his stomach, flinching when the pressure stirred up more pain than he’d expected. His belly was pushing out, taking up more space inside his old jersey than it usually did, and the surface of it felt stretched and tight. He frowned. He hadn’t exactly gone overboard last night, and none of his drinks had been carbonated.  

Must’ve been that chicken, he thought. Saliva flooded his cheeks even as he recalled it. A gurgle wove its way through his gut, accompanied by a clenching, slithering pain. 

A bead of sweat chased another bead of sweat down his back. 

He shot to his feet and moved as fast as he could without bouncing himself up and down. His stomach was jostled nonetheless, and he burped and hiccupped and gulped convulsively all the way to the bathroom. 

When he reached the toilet, he was drooling and gagging, ready to get this over with. Donnacha cringed and braced himself, but it wasn’t enough to lessen the unpleasantness of experiencing that sticky, greasy chicken in his mouth all over again, this time mixed with acidic juices.  

All he could do was squeeze his eyes shut and look forward to the relief he knew he’d feel later, when the food was unable to torment his stomach anymore.  

He retched hard, throat constricting around strangled groans. 

It was down his shirt, he realised when the retching slowed down and he opened his eyes. One of the hiccups in the hallway must have brought something up with it.  

Shit. He needed to go check that he hadn’t left any on the floor. If Lucy saw that, she’d – 

“Urrgggghhh,” Donnach moaned as sharp pains wracked his belly. He’d made a bit of a mess on the floor, too, somehow, but he’d had to deal with that later. 

The next wave was coursing up his throat, filling his mouth all the way to the backs of his teeth, before spilling into the toilet bowl. He couldn’t remember throwing up this thickly, this immensely, since he’d been little. He could almost feel the chill of the farmhouse bathroom – which was very different and much fresher than the chill that plagued apartment blocks. He pictured his mother fussing over him, checking his forehead with her hand, tutting as she went looking for the cordless landline so she could call his school. He could almost taste the 7Up that she would stir the bubbles out of, because flat 7Up was the cure for everything in those days. 

As he choked up a mouthful of yellow fluid that stuck to his lips on the way out, Donnacha couldn’t remember if stomach acid and flat 7Up tasted much different.  

Ew. 

He retched again. 

He wasn’t sure how long he spent in front of the toilet, but eventually, Donnacha noted that he needed to pee. Too exhausted and nauseous to stand, he peeled himself up off the floor and sat on the toilet seat. He couldn’t have said how long he spent like that, hunched over so that his head nearly touched his knees, arms gripping his cramping belly. All in all, this was a relatively safe spot for him to be in, especially if things went south. Well, further south. Based on how things were progressing, he wouldn’t have been surprised... 

Donnacha sat up, propped his elbows on his knees, and cradled his head in his hands.  

5:27am 

The front door slammed. 

Donnacha jumped. Shivered. He was still sitting on the toilet, and he felt dizzy. Had he dozed off? Or just spaced out for a second? He blinked and glanced over at the thin light white streaming through the bathroom window. 

It had probably been Lucy, he thought blearily, leaving for classes a lot earlier than usual. Made sense that she’d want to get out of the house, if she’d caught wind of any of Donnacha’s troubles in the night.  

Donnacha would probably feel bad about setting off her phobia later, but right now, he didn’t have the energy to feel any worse than he already did. 

5:38am 

Whether he’d beaten his insomnia or not, the front door slamming must have gotten Henry out of bed. He must have seen Donnacha’s bedroom door swinging open, and his empty bed, because Donnacha’s ears were suddenly prickling from the gentle taps of his cane as he came down the hallway towards the bathroom door. 

He didn’t knock. He just gently called out, “Donnacha?” 

Donnacha squeezed his eyes shut. Bad idea. His head immediately started to spin and his upper body started to sway. 

“Hey, hon?” Henry called out a little more sharply. “Still alive in there, aren’t you?” 

“Just about,” he croaked. 

“Want me to come in?” 

Donnacha looked down at his sick-stained jersey. He was still sitting on the toilet. He and Henry might have been close, but… not this close. Donnacha wasn’t sure he ever wanted to be this close to anybody. 

“No,” he muttered. 

“You coming out soon?” 

Donnacha groaned. “Yeah, yeah. Just go away and give me a few minutes.” 

“Alright.” 

5:45am 

“Jesus…” 

“Come on,” Donnacha murmured, reaching for Henry’s hand and attempting to turn him around. “You don’t want to be near that bathroom for a while.” 

Henry was inclined to believe him. 

“How did... I didn’t think you were that drunk last night.” Henry frowned. If he’d known this was going to happen, he could have left a bucket in Donnacha’s room. He’d seemed upset after talking to everyone in the living room, but Henry hadn’t thought he’d been hammered. Who got drunk enough to make themselves puke on a first date? 

“I wasn’t,” Donnacha whined. He rubbed the heel of his hand against his belly as they walked towards Donnacha’s room. “I think it was the food at the cocktail bar.” 

“Why, what’d you have?” 

“Ugh, this horrible, greasy chicken.” Donnacha’s cheeks puffed out a little, and his hand pressed further into his middle, as though his wrung-out stomach could barely take the mention of said chicken. “Ugh. Gave me this fierce belly ache last night.” 

“Or,” Henry ventured, “you were coming down with a bug.” 

“No. Nope.” Donnacha shook his head and let go of Henry’s arm as they reached his bedroom. “See, I had that one a few months ago. You remember it.” 

Henry stood still, frowning as hard as ever, while Donnacha lowered himself onto the bed. The duvet was ruffled from the night before, but he made no effort to pull it up around himself. 

Henry blew a gentle raspberry with his lips. “You don’t – you can’t just, like, get one tummy bug and then be immune to all of them. It’s not like the chickenpox –” 

Donnacha whined, making a face like a child who was about to be lectured. “Ssshhh, Hen.” 

Henry bristled slightly at being told to sshh, but let it slide seeing as Donnacha wasn’t feeling well. He eyed him as he settled down on his side, face pressed into his pillow. 

“Going to sleep?” 

“I’m actually just... gonna rest my eyes for a minute.” 

“Or you could go to sleep.” Henry reached for the duvet and started to pull it up over Donnacha’s side. 

“Can’t.” Donnacha's voice sounded ragged. “Training at half eight. Have to shower.” 

Henry snort-laughed. Donnacha lifted a hand to try to push the duvet away from his shoulder.  

“Match next week,” Donnacha croaked, tucking one arm under his head and curling the other around his belly. For someone who didn’t want to be tucked in, he sure looked like he was getting comfortable. “Can’t skip.” 

“Wait, you’re being serious?” Henry froze, still holding the corner of the duvet so that it made a tent shape over Donnacha’s upper body. He didn’t want to laugh again, but one was bubbling in his chest. “You’re hardly going to training, hon.” 

“I’m grand,” Donnacha told him. “I’ve got – gotten it all up. And… out. Out of my system. Should be fine now.” 

“I thought you might say that, so, actually –” Henry said. 

He swore he heard Donnacha mutter under his breath, “Actually.” 

“– I’ve taken the liberty of hiding your car keys.” 

It seemed to take a few seconds for the words to filter down through Donnacha’s tangled, exhausted thoughts. Henry used that time to lower the duvet and tuck him in, ignoring the twinge in his hip as he leaned.  

He hadn’t really hidden Donnacha’s keys – they had probably walked past them in the hallway on the way back from the bathroom – but Henry was relying on the fact that Donnacha seemed way too shattered to get up and investigate. 

Donnacha glared up at him from the bed, with all the ferocity of a puppy waking from a nap. “No, you bloody didn’t.” 

“Bloody well did. I know, I know.” Henry gestured lightly towards his own collarbone and let his voice drift towards Lavender’s, just for the theatrics. “I always have been a criminal mastermind of the highest order.” 

“I can walk,” Donnacha threatened, stifling a yawn, “if I leave right now.” 

“Dear boy, you’ll get blown down by the smallest breeze,” Henry relished telling him, “before you even get out of the driveway.” 

“You know that I can take you, don’t you, Hen?” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

Donnacha hummed in the affirmative, wrapping the corner of his duvet around his hand and pulling it in close to his chest. “Yeah. I can make you give me my keys and spill all your secrets.” 

“Usually, yes, but you couldn’t even take a bit of tall grass right now. Will you listen and get this through your head?”

Henry leaned forward on his cane, so his face was a little closer to Donnacha’s pillow. His hip twinged a little less this time.

“You’re. Staying. Home," Henry said, his stomach twisting with each word. He hated having to be stern - he had a fundamental aversion to it - but sometimes Donnacha could be so stubborn that he was a hazard to his own health. Henry reckoned he would never understand it himself, the way that Donnacha devoted himself, as well as the majority of his free time, to the rugby team. 

Henry righted himself, sighing, when Donnacha's silence indicated that he'd won. “You can beat me up over it when you’re better.” 

“Probably a good thing,” Donnacha slurred. Henry was almost sure that he’d just started to drool against his pillow. “My belly hurts something fierce."

Henry raised his eyebrows.

"I don't... mmm." Donnacha gulped, his hand tightening around the corner of his blanket. "Shit. I don't think I've ever been this sick in my life, actually.” 

“Donnacha. Seriously?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And... you still needed me to stop you from going to training.” 

Donnacha hummed in the affirmative, and Henry wondered hopelessly how someone so consistent could ever feel as though they didn't know who they were.

He reckoned he'd spell it out for him later, though, since Donnacha seemed to have fallen asleep and was - indeed - drooling on his pillow.

[jeanmoreaux]

I want to understand so bad why so many people love Catching Fire 😭😭😭 idk why I remember getting bored send help I need to reread the series

Pls tell me what makes so enjoyable for you?

i think on my first read the story definitely managed to subvert my expectations; the twist and turns caught me off guard (which makes sense for a 13yo i guess but i like to believe that even for more experienced readers the story went ways they didn’t expect). to me the tension that this book creates is just something that draws me in (a tension that is created by an instability you can find in every aspect of the narrative). because the stakes rise—this is not just a story about an arena and 24 kids fighting to the death anymore. it’s about an entire nation and its people now. the internal politics take up much more space, you can see the oppressive system at work much more intimately because you see that it extends into every aspect of life in panem. it’s every and influences everyone. not even the capitol‘s citizen are exempt from experiencing the consequences of it in one way or another. you see how, intentionally or unintentionally, some are complicit in their own oppression while others, just as intentionally or unintentionally, rebel against it. and then you have the ones that actively fight it despite the threat of violence and death. you see how fear and propaganda are used to ensure obedience but it also clearly shows you how this method of control is playing with fire…. because desperate people have nothing to lose. for me, cf manages to but thg into a context that gives these games even more (symbolic) meaning. and ofc tensions also rise BETWEEN and WITHIN characters. the everlark dynamic is especially delicious to me in this book (some of these scenes are like bread and butter to me i‘ll never get over them). haymitch relationship with both peeta and katniss is so interesting ESPECIALLY when you know how he’s essentially betraying them both in different ways for half of the book. i also adore some of the side characters we‘re introduced to (finnick and johanna mean so much to me <333). and when it comes to katniss‘s inner world i think the tension collins creates shines the most. the first person narration lets you experience katniss‘s turmoil in a manner that has you realise how torn she is between different impulses and wishes and hopes and fears. and that makes so much sense given the situations she‘s finds herself in throughout the book. and ngl her reluctance to engage with this revolution and accept the role the rebels have assigned to her makes her such an interesting character to me. it’s so realistic how she deals with this entire situation. and what’s even more tragic is how realistic it is that friends and enemies and strangers alike us her for their own agenda without ever even really think about if that’s something she wants. because they can justify it as being ‘for the greater good’…..

the plot covers so much ground as well, from the victory tour to the quarter quell, and both just adds to add to our understanding of panem as a political entity. to have them back in the games again is exciting as well because technically things shouldn’t be different but they are, and they are not what you expect, which just adds to this feeling of instability that the book as a whole evokes in the reader. and at the same time there are light and funny and sweet moments this book that don’t feel out of place because they still have a space in this world that’s only at the brink of rebellion but not quite there yet. and these moments just make you feel for these characters even more because you want That for them. you want them to be happy and safe but you know that they won’t be because the scale is about to tip one way or another and you Know their situation is precarious.

idk there is just so much There from a textual analysis standpoint as well. it’s hard to explain why i love it so much tbh. i just think it’s really well written and very exciting almost in an anxiety-inducing way because you’re trapped in katniss’s head and she’s being drag in all these different directions by all these different people without really knowing what’s going on. like maybe my reread thread will give you some idea (it’s by far not everything that stood out to me. the post would have to be at least six times as long to come even close. i mean i don’t think i even mentioned some very basic stuff like the overpolicing and police brutality in district 11—a district with a majority of black citizens). there is also my VERY short goodreads review. i wish i could list you all the reasons this book is my favourite in the series but like you probably realised i am struggling to break it down even a little bit.

[shrinkthisviolet]

Gonna go the less expected route here: Julian Albert, Kamilla Hwang, and Joe West for the fictional character bingo.

Ooh I appreciate the variety!

Julian Albert:

He just kind of Exists to me 🤷‍♀️ I also didn’t like Caitlin/Julian (hence “canon’s not real if I don’t look at it”). I found him kinda off-putting tbh. The show’s no stranger to jerk characters (Harry, Ralph), but Julian doesn’t really have the charisma to endear him to me like Harry and (to a lesser extent) Ralph do.

Also, he was only really there a) for Caitlin’s plotline (and his inclusion in all of it fell flat for me) and b) for the Alchemy red herring (which, as with Savitar pre-reveal, was a waste of time imo)

Kamilla Hwang:

So admittedly I used to be a lot more neutral towards her, if only because I felt she and Cisco were kinda thrown together by the writing and not given a ton of development as a couple. I…still somewhat feel this way, but I also like the two of them together…and as far as Cisco ships go, Kamisco’s my favorite 💞 (Goldenvibe is second for me, and I’ve been warming up to that more lately too)

Also, since Kamilla is your favorite, I’ve become fonder of her and Kamisco through following you 🥰 Kamilla is sweet, driven, and when the show does allow them to spend time together onscreen, they seem to get each other in a very special way. It’s not my favorite ship, but I find it a sweet one regardless.

As for “the fandom’s so mean”…something I’ve noticed is how some Caitlin/Cisco shippers tend to write Kamisco (and Kamilla, by extension) as very boring/bland/not right for Cisco. Which…fine, people can have ship preferences, but I remember one fic in which a character told Cisco, “[Kamilla’s] nice, but you deserve better than nice”, and that irked me.

Like…I get that Kamisco isn’t as developed as Caitlin and Cisco’s friendship, and even I shipped Caitlin/Cisco for a time, but…it rubs me the wrong way to see a white woman prioritized over a WOC as Cisco’s love interest when canonically, he’s only ever romantically been interested in said WOC and not the white woman. I get the fondness for Caitlin/Cisco, but if you need to throw Kamilla, a WOC and Cisco’s canon love interest, under the bus to do it…I question how strong your ship really is.

(Fun fact, fics like this are part of the reason I don’t really ship Caitlin/Cisco anymore!)

Joe West:

So…I have mixed opinions. I love him in most of the show, especially his relationships with Barry, Iris, Cisco, and Wally. Even his dynamic with Harry in s2!

I don’t, however, like him in s1 with Iris, and even with Barry, mostly pre-reveal. When he’s shooting down Barry at every turn, making him feel stupid, not even entertaining the idea of the impossible, not even stopping when he sees Barry’s given up the fight…yeah, that was sucky of him. It shouldn’t have taken Iris’s intervening for him to back off.

And with Iris…the lying, the gaslighting, the coddling…listen, I get he’s overprotective, but he is way moreso of Iris than Barry. Keeping her out of the loop for so long and not even apologizing to her?? Joe, Barry made his choice, but you also asked him to do it! You lied to Iris for months and acted like she was crazy when she mentioned seeing the Streak! You even got mad at Barry for Iris’s choice to put her name on her blog!

And that stuff with Eddie…ugh, that’s infuriating. The way Joe acts so entitled to her love life in s1, the way he denies Eddie permission to propose for ages just because he thinks he knows better than Iris who she should marry?? And the show doesn’t win any points with me for treating him as being right for that.

Oh, and also Armageddon?? When he yells at Barry and Iris for wanting to let Thawne die?? Saying they’d be destroying their family by doing so?? JOE CAN YOU BFFR?? We’re talking about EOBARD THAWNE! Killed Nora Allen, framed Henry Allen, stalked your son-in-law, killed Cisco, killed Eddie, killed your granddaughter, changed time and almost married your daughter??

I do love him in the rest of the show though, I think he’s a great fountain of wisdom and his relationships with his kids shine (hence the square with all the hearts, because when those relationships are at the forefront outside of s1, it’s like magic). It’s just those instances when I dislike him.

send me a character (or multiple) and I’ll fill out the bingo!

[lunarblue21]

For the non-shipping ask meme: Ice Age, of course!

Aww thank you so much for asking! :) <3

M/F BroTP: Ellie and Diego. I really liked how DoTD gave them some scenes and an important moment together with Diego protecting her during her birth with Peaches. Diego fairly glows around the herd's mammoths, especially Manny (like he does with no one else!) and I headcanon that Ellie did try to get Diego to talk about his problems - before he decides to head out in IA3 - before defaulting to Manny since Diego is guarded with her and won't be as open like he is with her mate.

F/F BroTP: Mothers and daughters can count as a friendship, right? In that case, I love Ellie and Peaches' dynamic. Ellie is a good mother, she lets Peaches be herself but she still corrects her if necessary. Peaches as well seems to have a good relationship with her mother and it's sweet to see, becos it's always nice to see comfortable mother/daughter bonds in fiction.

M/M BroTP: Manny and Diego, of course! :) <3 For so many years now they have been my longest-adored friendship. Part of the reasons why I LOVE Manny and Diego goes back to IA1 and how they save each other virtually back-to-back in the story, and more so, are willing to risk their lives to the point of being willing to die for each other, and that just creates deep bonds and a strong friendship; this is even supported by science! I also love how pivotal Manny is to Diego's redemption arc and how he helps him grow as a character in IA1, which goes back to the whole "self-sacrifice" thing he teaches Diego as IA1's story plays out. And this is another reason why the sequels were such a disappointment to me, I was so hoping to see IA1 callbacks or inverses of IA1's ending scene with the Battle at Half Peak with Manny protecting Diego - since a tiger alone has it rough! - and that never happened, nor was their beautiful friendship explored/fleshed out as it deserved, imo … Anyway, their friendship is my favourite in many many ways I could go on and on about it tbh...

crack BroTP: Uh, I guess I would say Buck and Diego (most of these are Diego or Manny-based lol I noticed. Diego has many "circles" within the herd's dynamics because he is the glue not Sid! ;)) but it's not even really cracky becos Buck and Diego have good chemistry. Buck & Diego is also a good dynamic becos I learnt recently from the IA3 BTS - Buck is Diego's foil. He foils Diego, since he's wild and carefree, whilst Diego's heart has always belonged to the herd, even though he tries to leave it and so they have a good push and pull to their dynamic/bond with each other.

dynamic I didn’t expect to like: Hmmm... I think I am go ahead and say... Diego & Peaches! Sure, for me, it's mostly headcanons, but I remember when I heard about IA3 I didn't expect Diego's connection and chemistry with the mammoths he lives with to be explored like it was, and the fact that he was present at Peaches' birth gave me so many feels, oh my gosh, and I just fell in love with an uncle/niece dynamic btwn Diego & Peaches and it's become my second most treasured Ice Age herd family bond becos I love the idea of them being close and Peaches admiring Diego and thinking of him as something of a "second father" :) whilst he adores her wholeheartedly. It disappoints me so much still that officially we didn't get many scenes btwn them in the movies/specials to flesh out that dynamic but Peaches' relationships with her adopted uncles were so shafted and I'm still not over that ngl. :((((

dynamic I didn’t like: In all honesty, Sid and Diego.... their dynamic doesn't have the same vibe and earnestness that Manny and Diego have and Diego imo kinda always looks annoyed or bored in scenes he shares with Sid, especially in the sequels. The fact that the Sid/Diego "ship" is so popular is another reason, tbh, why I don't like this dynamic - they're suited more as brothers than a romantic ship imo. 🤷‍♀️ Heck, their entire dynamic is "little bro annoys middle bro constantly" let's be honest! Also I am aware this opinion is sure to be unpopular. 🤷‍♀️

[timingmatters]

Also most ppl ship Amelia and Zoe and I feel bad that i really dont. I genuinely see them as platonic friends who really needed each other this last decade. I kinda am more interested on Saskia and Amelia, just bc their dynamic is interesting to me. Amelia was the person to convinced Saskia she needed to “bitch up” and be a leader, yet their past is very conflicted. Feels like a good enemies to lovers. BUT I love a good “us vs everyone” love story which is why the danny situation is intriguing to me lmaooooo. Like i’m on ep 4 so halfway through but the little hints of Amelia loving him school, staying with him, and all seem very sweet to me? At least so far. Feels like she pursued a simple life others didn’t want/expect from her rather than dropping something she wanted. I could still be proven mistaken but it sounds like a very sweet story. Almost want to see it BUT tbh i like that there’s no men in the show lmao. I’m more than okay with Amelia and Zoe remaining platonic, and if Amelia has to be queer i kinda want to see it with Saskia better idk.

[deluweil]

9-1-1 6x01 review - don’t read if you haven’t watched.

Okay, so it took me quite a while to walk through everything I wanted to say about last night’s episode, and tbh I’m not even halfway there lol so there will be mini metas to come after this long ass one.

I will start with Maddie and Chimney, and finish with Buddie. 

Maddie and Chimeny: 

I have to say that them making steps to getting back together is absolutely amazing, I was so happy the writers didn’t make us wait for half a season before making this right. 

And baby Jee!! My first reaction to seeing her for the first time this season was to coo very loudly, (I had to go back to hear what was said lol) She is so sweet! And so smart, her connecting Maddie to the suitcases and leaving at the end of the episode had me in tears. She is way to young to have to deal with abandonment issues. 

I do not for one second blame Maddie, but even unintentionally Maddie’s constant fugitive state created fissures first in Buck - then in both Chimney and Jee-Yan.

We can see Maddie arrive at that conclusion when she guides a kid who couldn’t find his brother in their own house, and while talking to the kid she - 1. understood why Chimney felt compelled to leave that morning and 2. help the kid find his baby brother, she is a big sister herself, by knowing her dynamics with Buck, she helped him find his own younger brother. (deeper siblings review is in the making)

Those realizations from the call helped her to reassure Chimney that she’s here to stay. And she want them to be a family. 

Now Chimney lol when he’s with Maddie, I love him! He’s turning into this big lump of softie, we know he loves her, we know he would have stayed with her that morning if he knew she was there to stay.

He says: “I had a one night stand with my ex, I don’t know what the rules are.” 

That statement alone meant that Chimney felt that last night’s was not something he could trust, he didn’t think Maddie would want to stay, he was terrified and, in Bobby’s words - Fled his own apartment lol

Bobby and Eddie, being the amusing voices of reason: 

“You didn’t skip the morning after conversation, you just delayed it.” Bobby did indeed have a point.

Eddie, knowing from his experience with Shannon and her showing up at the station in Merry-ExMas, elaborates - “You added a whole new complicated layer.” He looks a complicated mess of amused, supportive and in roast mode all at the same time, I love S6 Eddie more than ever. (more gushing later.)

I am happy to have Madney with baby Jee back together under the same roof and heading forward together, I wonder if we’re heading for a Madney wedding this season 👀🙏

***

Bathena getting ready for the cruise cracked me up! Bobby with the shirts and the ship’s itinerary and travel schedule (Buck and his clipboard anyone?😂) and Athena being exasperated and really all she wants to do is go away and have fun with her husband, rest and enjoy themselves.

I loved May roasting Bobby about the Hawaiian shirts lol was very reminiscent of Christopher roasting Buck in the beginning of the episode. (more on that later)

One awesome thing that I’ve got to point out - Athena and Hen lunch date, that is something we haven’t seen in a long time, I’ve missed those two together!!

That brings me to the whole interim captain thing, I want to know which writer I’m going to slap for giving us cringingly awkward Buck in this episode?? One scene maybe two along with the talk Buck had with the Diaz boys was acceptable funny even. But to revert him all the way back to the first seasons, was uncalled for and made me look away for most of the awkward Buck scenes. 

Hen, bless her, was the only one who saw fit to put Buck out of his misery, (tbh I thought for sure she’ll kill Buck for touching her ambulance lol) and went to Bobby to tell him to out his big boy pants and choose an interim captain so Buck can stop bending over backwards trying to prove himself.

Which btw was something I expected Bobby, at this point of the show, to know what is going on, instead all we get is “Ah so that’s what he’s been doing.” 

I mean, duh! If I could see it, so should his captain 🤦‍♂️

Now I’ll pause to say, and it may anger some people, that I don’t think Buck is ready to be captain.  I’ve been watching several firefighters shows and to this day I cannot grasp the rules of the LAFD, I mean I figured Chimney with the most seniority, probably already a lieutenant is indeed the most logical next in line - seeing from 2x17 and 2x18 that captaincy is not his forte I figured the next one will be Hen or bringing someone from outside of the same rank as Bobby to cover as captain. 

They did that in Chicago Fire, same as Station 19. I don’t know what is going on in LAFD or 118 but I’m guessing the firehouse has more than one captain or more than four people.

I don’t get why Lucy would have been Bobby’s next choice, that was the writers’ lazy way of introducing Buck’s new conflict/crisis, and tbh at this point I’m kinda over Buck’s crisis being sprouted up by women, give me something more believable, something I can relate to, some form of mature writing for god’s sake. Lucy is injured at home, let her be injured at home lol

In fact Bobby did think about asking Hen and Buck agrees with all of us that Hen will make a great captain. Hen is the best choice for captain - we see it all the time, the way she reins in everyone, being a sounding board and the voice of reason when needed, She always knew how to navigate Buck and was so sweet to Ravi when he suffered under Buck’s mentoring lol.

So I’ll repeat -HEN IS THE BEST CHOICE FOR CAPTAIN!!!

This brings me to Buck and Eddie, I mean that first call, I wondered at first why Bobby sent Chimney with Eddie, but Buck headed straight over to help Eddie while Chimney helped the first pilot down the aerial, and they ended up doing the risky part of the rescue together. It was beautiful! I missed them working together.

Even though very professional, we can see that Buck is worried for Eddie, as he headed up the aerial quickly, the way he says his name, the way he looks up as he helps the co-pilot down. - Always looking out.

I have to say that even though that situation was extremely dangerous Eddie walked in and got through it with ease and grace, that jump out of that blimp was beautiful!  🤩

I actually expected the blimp emergency to be bigger, something dramatic, but I found I love it just as it is! It was refreshing, not to start a season with some kind of natural disaster or another. - It hit just right in my opinion.

The scene of the video call with Lucy showed that one, the team is fond of her and second, Bobby seems to trust her very quickly, I don’t really get it, I mean she’s been with them for 6-8 months now? She may be badass but she’s worse than Buck as far as self preservation goes. So I was just as surprised as Buck at the fact that Bobby considered her as interim captain, why would the team follow her after such a short time? But Buck’s face told a whole story which Eddie picked up immediately, his face a concentrated mix of worry and trying to discern how to neutralize the situation. Chimney good naturedly tried to lighten the mood, both Hen and Eddie joining in a roasting Chimney on the way it was nice to see things pretty much go back to normal. The next scene will live rent free in my head for a looong time,  I mean Buck doesn’t have a couch, the only place to sit is on the dining table, and still Eddie and Christopher are looking right at home, and comfortable just to be in Buck’s loft, with Buck. - They are not guests in Buck’s loft either, and it makes me wonder how many hours, days weeks, did the Diaz boys spend with Buck in his loft while Eddie was in therapy, as Buck was helping both him and Christopher through their crisis. I also love love love how Eddie is getting straight to the heart of the problem, seeing right through Buck’s roundabout speech about better more qualified people to fill in for Bobby. And neither Eddie nor Christopher allow him to wallow, nor encourage whatever funk he may harboring over this one thing. For me there were two things in play here, 1- Chimney said it quite adequately - “It’s always nice being asked.” 2- Buck is a little unsure of himself, he feels like the work is the one thing he does best and if that’s not what Bobby thinks then what does it say about him.

So many little nounces here, in this talk between Eddie and Buck, it’s all hinges on many domestic features too, it’s like they’re talking about one thing when in fact it feels like they are having a different discussion entirely. “He has so many other excellent options right under his nose..” “What like you?” “it’s like he’s choosing not to see them and everything they have to offer” “What are you offering?”   You’d think Buck would list what he has to offer in terms of captaincy but Buck gives a different answer, in fact verifying of that other underlined conversation i indicated before - “Right now, Bobby’s famous lasagna.” The Diaz boys admire the lasagna - “I looks good” - “It smells good” 

- taking a pause here to share a little tidbit, I have a close friend who is bi - She loves to tell me how good I look even when I feel like the ugliest thing in the world and shallow as it may sound for me it is one of the best things you can say to me if you want to get me to smile. And she once told me when we talked that for her the highest form of complement is when people tell her she smells good. So Buck got here two of the ultimate complements (obviously there are more) it looks good and it smells good, still didn’t feel like we were talking about the lasagna lol. 

“I just want to know what these other candidates have that I don’t.”

And here comes Christopher’s famous - “Buck, you don’t even have a couch.” - Took me a while to stop laughing, Christopher roasting Buck is one of my favorite things to watch, it’s sweet and shows affection and familiarity. (like I said before, it sounds a lot like May with Bobby.) 

Buck, bless him, asks Christopher what does that has to do with the couch and Christopher answers that it’s weird. I love that kid so much!!

And Buck answers seriously, even though Chris is a kid, and in my family we usually brush our problems off with a joke - so I really admire Buck’s being honest and giving Christopher an honest answer. “My last couches came with gfs.”

Eddie shoots back “You mean your last two gfs came with couches.” - then turns serious, telling Buck that Taylor has been gone for four months, and he should have been able to get a new couch by now. And here again, it feels like we’re talking about something else entirely when Buck looks Eddie straight in the eye and answers “Maybe I don’t want to pick the wrong couch again.”

And here Eddie wraps it all up neatly - going back to that first topic - “Maybe that’s how Bobby feels about interim captain.”

The underline conversation here sounded to me a lot like, Buck not wanting to choose the wrong partner again, after everything they’ve been through together it feels like he knows who’s the right one but has yet to make a conscious decision to act on it. And same with Eddie - Eddie knowing why Bobby is hesitant about the wrong interim captain is stemming from his own unwillingness to choose the wrong person again and he’s waiting until he’s sure. - until they’re both sure.

In my opinion both Buck and Eddie know exactly where they are, it’s in every look, every smile, every word, every act. They are just threading carefully for now. So really, my guess? Oliver’s slip of the tongue (”season sex”), may not have been a slip of the tongue - or maybe just a Freudian slip who knows? lol.

The ring call should have held more significance, considering they originally thought it was a shooting, but we get Eddie being a hot paramedic and exasperated husband so I’m semi- happy with it.  The win-a-car call was sooo funny!! Eddie looked so hot, and so amused, he knew exactly how things are gonna go the moment the owner of the dealership told Bobby that rules are rules Lmao.  Buck was so enthusiastic it was so sweet, and Eddie looked so loving and amused as Buck walked past the owner with an almost inappropriate wide grin and a saw in his hands LMAO.

There was definitely silent Buddie conversation here too, that look exchange was everything. I am betting that at least 70% of that call was mostly Oliver and Ryan having fun. That last conversation with Bobby and Buck (Which had my faith restored in our good captain as far as Buck was concerned.) was so good. I missed their little moments. But here we in fact see that Buck’s issue wasn’t just about not being chosen for captain, he knows and agrees that Hen is the best choice. And we see that when Buck, sweet, innocent (sometimes) Buck, asks in the cutest funniest way ever “Is this because I don’t have a couch?” - This is a callback to his conversation with Eddie and Christopher, obviously their words are those that carry weight. Bobby’s response is a simple curious “Why don’t you have a couch?”

Buck’s answer is similar to what he tells Eddie, but it’s more revealing “I guess I’ve been having trouble picking one out, I think I’m afraid of making a mistake again.” - I mean it’s a couch, but Buck isn’t talking about the couch, he’s been through a string of unfortunate relationships and he’s been hurt, and he doesn’t want to be hurt again. Also, I always believed that if Eddie hadn’t been with ana at the time, Buck would never have started a relationship with Taylor, she was a comfort in a sea of hurt in the wake of Eddie’s injury. Eddie’s, now, ex-gf insured Buck search for comfort elsewhere. Going back to the conversation with Bobby - Bobby’s response is as usual a wise one “...You take an inventory of your life, admit your shortcomings, in hopes that one day you can look at the world straight in the eye and be alone at perfect peace and ease.” - The world here somehow signifies, for me, Eddie and Christopher for Buck, because really they are the only two people I see Buck being at peace and ease with. - Also the amount of time Buck and Eddie stared at each other straight in the eyes, I mean... all that left is the admitting part. 👀

Buck asks, but you can see the humor in his eyes, because he know the answer to be no, “You don’t think I’m at ease?” - Meaning he knows he’s not at peace. Bobby’s response made me want to hug him, really - “I think the important thing is that you answer that question for yourself, so when you are, you’ll know. And then you’ll be ready.”  - Bobby knows, anyone? 👀👀

The sequence scenes of Eddie and Christopher continuing to play Boggle (thank you @talespinner230) at home (playing “old school” like Buck suggested in Futue Tense👀😁💖) is now one of my top 5 Diaz family moments. 

And Buck, now alone in his loft, taking that single chair from the side and planting it in front of the tv. For me, it’s telling, this is buck choosing his own chair, for him, in the spot where he wants it to be. - He’s making the conscious choice to focus on himself, building his life for himself. For the first time ever he gets to dictate what he wants to do and where his life would go instead of his action being dictated by outsiders. (parents, sibling, gfs.) - He’s taking control of his life and I love it, I can’t wait to see where this is going. To sum it up, if we don’t get buddie canon this season, then I’m going to riot because really there were so many insinuations just in one episode, it isn’t funny anymore.👀🙈

If you managed this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, it felt like the longest review ever. - I will probably make an all about Buddie post soon with pics and gifs, but first I had to get all my thoughts out of my system. Happy new season my loves! I’ve missed you!!💖💖💖

[shuaflix]

Hiii<3 i just wanted to tell you how much i love your kmg unhelpful guide to losing your virginity🥺 i love how you touch the emotional and messy aspects of the vcard and the lie that put some sorta strain on reader's friendships. Personally, I think that sometimes people forget that sex can be in a sense scary with all the vulnerability. I loved that bit that after reader lost her virginity mingyu walked her through it. It was so sweet. I love that the sex was loving ugh I'm just sappy-(1/2)

(cont.) -and hopeless romantic like that. I just love love love your approach on the both of them. The word building to the sunset confession made me swoon. Love the tiny details of mingyus eyes during the sunset, the notebook, and the gallery! +clawdia. I like that you also gave reader screentime with her friends! It really adds layers to the story. The he fell first she fell harder too. Ugh i love everything about it! I look forward to your writing more and hope tou have the bestest day ever ❤️

hihi anon !! i hope your day/night’s been going well and that you’ve been taking care of yourself 🥰💖 ahhh thank you sm for reading my fic and i’m sooo glad you liked it !! <3

omg there’s so many layers to it and i just wanted to portray a semi realistic first time (but still a little flowery and indulgent bc it’s fanfiction HAHAH) but yes!!! there’s so much vulnerability involved which is why the fic ended up being longer than i expected 🥲 tbh at first it wasn’t supposed to be as sappy as it ended up being, but i’m glad i took this route instead because i needed to give mingyu a ROMANCE 🫶

friend group banter is honestly my favorite to write :’)) i thought reeallyy long about who i was going to include in the friend group and how their dynamic would work, and honestly i felt like they balanced each other out rlly well LOL i didn’t expect it to work so well 🤧 im super glad you enjoyed it tho love !! 🤍

[strangefellows]

okay, tbh i’ve talked about it a bunch already today so it might as well get its own post even if no one reads it XD

so yeah like....gil and emiya and cu’s weird friendship is something i just love so much???

like, they all have that connection to each other from the Fifth Grail War, but yeah also they just...still hang out? even when they all kinda have reason to want to stab each other a little (a lot)? it’s really stupid cute.

but thinking about it, like...it’s so sweet for all THREE of them, if you look at it from each of their povs

for cu’s pov, he’s had a hell of a life, yknow? live fast die young heroes are like shooting stars, all that, but also he had to kill his best friend and accidentally killed his son, and not to mention just....All That Shit in general. he probably didn’t really have too many people that could keep up with him, no one who equaled him - not even fergus, who is also a heroic spirit, could keep up with him in life. and now in death, here’s these two dumb bitches who ABSOLUTELY can keep up with him. and even if he resents how emiya feels about being a hero (valid) and gil definitely annoys the shit out of him...they’re his equals. they can keep up with him. he can fight them on the same ground. and even if emiya’s opinions on heroism differ wildly, he still GETS IT to have those opinions. it’s just for him i’m sure nice to hang out with these two jackasses who absolutely understand him in some ways no one else can. and they’re just damn fun to be around sometimes, too, it’s nice.

for emiya’s pov, if cu’s had a hell of a life emiya’s has been WORSE LMAO. he’s traumatized, jaded, a fucked up mess and even though in fgo he’s more chill about things and less suicidal, he’s still a fucked up mess. and even if he kinda wants to kick the blue idiot and the gold idiot in the TEETH repeatedly, they won’t leave him alone. and in a way that’s...nice. he doesn’t remember anything from being shirou all that well, so even if he knows from watching shirou in ubw he had friends and classmates etc, he doesn’t remember personally-- and then he lived what was like, centuries completely alone doing alaya’s dirty work. it was probably really lonely. and even if these assholes won’t leave him alone, that means he’s NOT alone. and they do get it. cu was a hero who died young and glorious and even if he’s proud of that in some ways, he also understands very well how hard it is. and gil’s a douchebag, but he’s DEFINITELY a lot more tolerable in fgo lbr, and it’s not like they can’t be civil and don’t have some things (loneliness, a tie to alaya, liking kids) in common. it’s nice to not be alone and have people who get it, even if those two people are ABSOLUTE FUCKING JACKASSES

and for gil’s pov....well, he’s not human, he’s lonely, he’s apart from everything and he stands alone and he KNOWS it. and then there’s everything he always says about only ever having one friend, enkidu. who’s dead. so yeah he’d probably never figure it out if it hit him in the face, but he probably really subconsciously appreciates emiya and cu being around to bully and the fact they put up with him. they’re closer to his equals, a demigod hero apart from the world who also lost his best friend (who was also harassed by a horny queen) and a lonely chosen hero of alaya who ended up apart from the world whether he wanted to or not. they PUT UP WITH HIM, which i think is something very rare and out of his expectations for a lot of people given he’s probably well aware of his own flaws. they both have held their own in fights against him, and that’s def a gil litmus test for how well he’ll tolerate you. they get it! and they put up with him, and as a very lonely person despite what he says, he’s got to really appreciate that too, he’d never think the word ‘friend’ but he has to appreciate these two who hang around him and tolerate him 

they have a great dynamic and i love them and they’re three stupid lonely idiots traumatized in different ways that hang out together even if they fight all the time because they quietly love the fact that they have the other two to spend time with, because they get it.

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.15--Episodes 10-11

I have watched through S2E11; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—The absolute cruelty of trying to convince me that Dr. Hopper was dead! I might never get over it *falls dramatically onto fainting couch*

—On the other hand, I now know that Dr. Hopper can bake. 🌟The more you know🌟

—In Storybrooke, Red wears fedoras, fingerless gloves, and vests. In the fairytale world, she wears lace blouses, corsets, and a cloak. Either way I’m happy.

—Pongo crying at Dr. Hopper’s funeral is below the belt. I hate it when dogs cry.

—Is Dr. Hopper going to get Pongo back? I mean, it’s sweet that Henry was deemed Custodian of the Dog, but Dr. Hopper might be lonely.

—I love how Rumplestiltskin has been wearing more crocodiley stuff lately, just to make sure we don’t forget.

—Mr. Gold being good with dog is a pleasant revelation.

—Red having wolf-to-dog communication (wolf-to-dog conversation) is awesome. I love when she uses her wolf abilities.

—Hook’s comment about the poor random sap Cora actually murdered having to look like Archie *contemptuously* was stupid. I’d much rather have a boyfriend who looks like Archie than one who looks like Hook. I mean, I’d like to believe I’d pick brain/heart content and personality over looks, in which case Archie stills wins by about fifty bajillion miles, but tbh I find Archie much cuter than Hook.

—I think one of my favorite things about Belle is that she’s intelligent. OG!Belle? Yeah, she reads, but that’s more a symbol of her different-ness than her brain power. This Belle, however, is a smart person, with solid deductive reasoning skills. She thinks outside or inside the box, whichever will get the job done best, and she only has one blind spot. (That would be Rumplestiltskin.)

—Speaking of which…I knew they weren’t going to have a happy ending. I deluded myself into thinking maybe she could break his curse in the fairytale world someday, but I didn’t really believe it. One of them was always going to end up dead (which I’m not ruling out yet) or amnesiac.

—I knew something would go wrong with THE LINE in this episode. Either Rump’s charm wouldn’t work on him, or a hawk would snatch the shawl off his neck, or there would be a time limit he didn’t anticipate. Basically the only thing I didn’t expect was Hook shooting Belle across THE LINE.

—Rump should’ve killed Hook when he had the chance. I may be a bit more sympathetic to Regina now, but Hook is one guy I will never have any pity for. Also, he’s pretty sleazy. A guy like that I would knee in the nuts without a second thought if he got as close to me as he does to every woman he encounters.

—Seriously, of all people, Belle is the most likely to groin-kick him, and she never got to. Bummer.

—I love, adore, cherish, exalt, laud, etc. Mulan and Belle’s dynamic together. Instead of pulling the standard, predictable crap and having Mulan refuse Belle’s help out of wounded pride or stubbornness, Mulan was like, “Girl, you are one good beast-tracker. Help a sister out?” *And then* Mulan is injured, and instead of pushing it so she could be the hero, she goes, “You got this, Belle. Here’s my sword.”

—They really had to double down on the Beauty and the Beast stories, didn’t they?

—The beastie was pretty fine. Kinda reminds me of Solgaleo (I went for Lunala, no surprise there, but Solgaleo is still cute as heck). I was kinda disappointed when it turned back into Prince Philip.

—Gepetto being sad at Dr. Hopper’s funeral was exactly the kind of angst I needed, but where is my Gepetto and Pinocchio reunion? This is getting ridiculous!

—ooooOOOOOoooo, an unknown person crashed their car into Hook! *bows down* Thank you, mysterious stranger!

—Henry calling Dr. Hopper just to hear his voicemail after his supposed death is too sad.

—Where has Regina got to? I’m assuming the only reason she wasn’t in episode 11 is because she and Cora are off somewhere planning evil things and practicing their evil laughs.

—There’s something interesting to me about the way Mr. Gold’s limp is depicted, but I don’t quite have the brain cells to actually figure it out at the moment. Suffice it to say, it’s not just *this guy has a disability, so he’s obviously weak* or *this guy has a disability, so the disability is his entire character*. We actually don’t even know the specifics of why Mr. Gold (and pre-Dark One Rumplestiltskin) limps. And needing a cane isn’t his entire character, either; nor is it a darkly decorated, scary showpiece to reinforce that he’s a bad guy. It’s just a mobility aid, which he occasionally uses as a weapon; this, in fact, shows it’s even an extra option for him (when traditional weapons don’t suffice). It’s intriguing, and I think very different from the way such a character trait might be treated in a lot of other media.

—I guess Rump will never find his son now. Yet another thing to be sad about. As if there weren’t more than enough already.

[sloaneiso]

   hey! i’m vivi ! ( you can add me @・vivie#0807 )・ gmt+1. she/they. i’ll be writing here for sloane, my sweet disaster. i’m very chatty, i love to plot and hc so don’t be shy. lord knows i love hcs… so give me anything and everything you’ve got! i as always, like the post and i’ll pop into dms, or feel free to pop right into mine!’ll link her about page below, please check that out, and below that blow is my casual break down tldr! looking forward to writing here, it’s such a beautiful group! ♥ xoxo

  +   ・    .  . about  .    starters  .  inspo  .   .    ・

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒘 !  ⸻    .    ..    

sloane, also/sometimes called soso. from a somewhat affluent and successful, authoritarian family, with a lot of expectations on her shoulders. she sort of outran those and her entire past and ended up on another/preordained path but ayyy. 

went to business school as her parents wanted her to.

the middle of 3 kids to her parents. she walked that thin line between doing what she wanted (aka rebelling like her younger brother, and being the obedient/good daughter, like her older sister), and sort of felt alienated/squished into her family dynamics for a long time.

(/tw here for some homophobia) she is a lesbian and after years decided to come out to her family. it generally didn’t go well, but she and her sister grew a closer bond out of it. they were never close as kids but as adults they were able to share more and understand each other better.

she became a photographer eventually, despite her business degree, because she decided to do something for herself for once.

her sister moved to roswell for a while all on her lonesome.

fast forwarding to make this intro more succinct, but her sister went missing after a year or so. 

eventually, sloane got up the courage to follow her through the mysterious circumstances, to try to find out what was going on for herself. partially just to be closer to the memory of someone she loved who she felt she had lots of regrets and missed opportunities with.

she’s been in roswell for like a year herself. seems no closer to finding out clues to what happened to her sister. she still puts up fliers, posts online, and hasn’t really given up. but she is jaded about it all and has no idea where to go from here. she’s close to burying the lead and all her reserves and just giving up.

she’s not really content with her life and her emotional state is a disaster.

she’s a low/sweet/soft spoken woman, but not shy or reserved about her thoughts or her opinions. now more than ever she wants to be an authentic person. whether that means pissing people off, living however she wants, doing crazy things, slowly devolving into a crazy conspiracy theorist or not.

very thoughtful, very artful, very cautious with her energy and her time. she’s emotionally walled off despite coming across as open. especially when it comes to romance. she plays a strong game like she’s interested, but she’s the quickest to ghost. very not interested in being the one who gets hurt or in losing someone else. in a way? afraid to love tbh.

obsessed with random shit. 60′s-00′s music, tv and aesthetics? the type to take lots of random candid pictures, the blurrier the better. in her mind, happiness is in a smile you don’t know she captured. will absolutely wear a jacket even in the summer, don’t try her. slouchy clothes that hide her because she doesn’t want to be perceived, pls do no perceive her!!! always tired but doesn’t sleep well. and fairly open about her lgbtqa+ self. again, she can come across as very open/direct with the except of the fact that it’s a total lie and her heart is so closed :/ oops...