#i didnt really edit this so i hope it makes sense sorry

[skrunksthatwunk]

your thoughts on goromi and kazumi? :3c

ok sorry it took me a day to respond it's because when i saw this (and periodically afterwards when i remembered this ask) i legitimately just (out loud, late at night) went

GOD. FUCK. GOD I LOVE WOMEN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE WOMEN I LOVE WOMEN I LOVE WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!! AND I LOVE MY GENDERQUEERS AND I LOVE MY TRANSVESTITES AND MY TRANS PEOPLE AND MY DRAG ARTISTS I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

because i didn't know how to verbalize this image that appeared immediately in my mind but which i also had to make myself

literally any of those interpretations of goromi and/or kazumi are incredible gorgeous scrumptious. i was gonna end it there but i gotta reiterate some things actually oh my god i love them so so much

i figured out i was genderfluid right before i first played kiwami so goromi literally changed my brain chemistry

like i don't think i CAN put it into words how much goromi means to me. she's incredible. what the fans have done with her is incredible. i never finished it but i was planning on making a massive post on my relationship with gender and goromi and what she means to me but i can sum it up. im gonna (numbered) list some needs and then talk about how goromi hits each one. (so like 1-4 (general) then 1-4 (goromi))

i have never encountered nor heard of a genderfluid character within canon media. not even a character that uses multiple pronouns. the closest situation to it are shapeshifters, and even then their other genders are more like disguises than "openly same person just different gender/expression", so it doesn't scratch that itch for me and i never really related to them much, nor to even the occasional fictional nonbinary person. i didn't really relate much to transmasc people and their experiences either. honestly, the stuff that grabbed me most were transfem stories, which i didn't understand because im afab (turns out im transfem AND transmasc. i know that's unconventional but you're just gonna have to trust me on it bc im not elaborating rn <3). it's not as if i don't have transmasc-typical experiences or feelings, but it's like. it's different. hell my genderfluidity doesn't even present very much like what I've seen from other ppl. what the fuck. so basically no man is an island except for me okay.

when i go into media expecting queer rep, i tend to be underwhelmed by it. im not sure why exactly, but i tend to enjoy non-canon stuff more for whatever reason, even as i yearn for actual representation. the result of this is that the rep i tend to be most affected by is stuff i stumble into on accident, canon or not, so my expectations/feelings develop more naturally. it's not an exact science, but it's there.

(i think some of the aforementioned issue also comes from the ways rep is done. like maybe they're sapphic, but they're usually both cis and gender conforming (not even gay-looking femme either, like. cishet normie style. hallmark type gay, for lack of a better term) and neurotypical, so their experiences are vastly different from mine. i just tend to latch onto them less than I'd like (i imagine this goes even more for poc because oh my god is (western) sapphic . media like. very very white). basically, i lack investment in them because they lack the texture i need to get a foothold in it)

one of the main problems i have faced as a genderfluid person is a lack of direction in regards to transition. I've never seen it talked about but there's no way for me to ever get a body i am going to be consistently satisfied with, given current technology. the best i can do is try to straddle several common gender demands and compromise between them. if i want to cut my hair, i have to live with it tomorrow, when it might give me dysphoria. if i take hormones, it'll be slow to take and slow to stop. surgery is permanent. it's not that there's no solutions, but i just. can't be the person i want to be at all given moments, or even most of them, because doing anything at all takes from something else. and so when the closest thing we have to genderfluid rep is shapeshifters, it doesn't feel like rep to me because it's a completely unattainable fantasy, and one that disregards one of the primary issues i face given my identity, one I've never seen represented

I've never seen a character that a significant amount of people headcanon as any kind of genderfluid or multigender. i don't really know that many people with such identities either. so even within fandom spaces, where queerness can be more evident/daring, it's a rare thing to see, and never reoccurs within the same character much

im not gonna lie i just really like majima in general okay. and kiwami hyped me up so hard on its queercoding so any little thing got me howling and crying and pointing vigorously.

speaking of which i FUCKING LOVED YAKUZA back then (still do <3) but i literally knew no one who played it and didn't engage with it online other than scrounging pinterest (which was rough but also shoutout to that comment on a majima post that was like "so there's this he/she 😳" you literally actually changed my life and also made me soo so much more transgender. lime it was already there but it got multiplied. thank you i would actually kiss you in real life mwah) so like any queer rep that's good or close enough is gonna rock my world. I'd already talked to rina (that sapphic hostess) and kiryu saying gay rights and her talking about her actual issues was fucking. i cried actual tears over that man it meant a lot to me. not the point rn though

okay i think that's enough. here's how goromi engages with these points

look idk what it is but goromi FUCKS gender wise. big scary gruff nasty yakuza man in the streets, absolute BABE in the sheets. she's gender nonconforming as fuck and she's. god i love her. she's so interesting, the way she's both a disguise and fully just majima for real in a way the other disguises aren't. like she puts so much more design and thought and personality into goromi's clothes when she coulda just gone to party city and grabbed Hostess #1 y'know? she's the same person, but her mannerisms change in ways i relate to. it's intentional and it's not intentional and i love her she's complicated and again gnc femininity is actually super my jam apparently so that's it that's the itch scratched. more in point 4

full disclosure i technically knew about goromi beforehand and was very prepared to fall in love with her, like heart racing clearing my schedule kinda prepared, and i wasn't disappointed. i wasn't expecting it to be like... so good, y'know? like i got my hopes up, i just was kinda also bracing for something queerphobic to happen (which can happen, but it didn't for me), and instead the encounter was really affirming and tender and wonderful and romantic and i really fucking liked it ok. maybe she wasn't supposed to be more than a gag character, i don't know. but there's a lot of genuineness in what she says and how she acts. she feels real, she makes sense like this, and im not alone in seeing that significance. and people took it and ran with it beautifully, because they found something meaningful in that (see 5)

it helps that i was already really invested in majima as a character. he has a LOT of texture and frankly this series can't write or treat its women well so like. we'll make one i guess (transes your fave). a lot of female characters (and a lot of mainstream queer ones as well) tend to be kinda sanitized in certain ways, or just don't have a lot of room for personality elements that could be divisive or non-marketable, if that makes sense. they can't be "ugly" or "annoying" or "cruel" or "gross" or "bitchy" or anything else. my favorite female characters are ones that are allowed to be weird and unpalatable!!! they're wonderful!!!! let women be shnarsty 2k23. and goromi is anything but bland <3

this one's big. goromi has to wake up tomorrow and be a patriarch. she has to keep her men in line. for all the confidence and glamor of the butterfly of the night, she's gotta take it all off tomorrow. maybe when she's not ready for it. maybe she can't do all the stuff she want to with her presentation because of her job, or because she's predominantly guypilled, or whatever. a lot of it for me comes down to her goatee. it's not just that she's gender nonconforming (though that reading is in and of itself deeply refreshing), it's also that she may face some of the limitations in expression that i do, in a way I've never seen expressed before. she has to pick and choose. is she gonna want that goatee tomorrow? is it worth it to shave it off only to feel weird without it? is it worth the time it takes to grow it back? she's no shapeshifter, and it can very well cause her problems. but she still radiates beauty and confidence, y'know? i love her :)

this one's really important too. i have never seen so many people see my (often OUR) experiences in a character like this before. she's WIDELY headcanoned as bigender, genderfluid, etc, and people love her so much. i am not alone in loving her for very gender specific reasons, and the fan content I've seen really resonates so much with me. sometimes when im down I'll just... dig through goromi content. she's a great pick me up, even when her stories aren't completely happy. the myriad ways people interpret her and her identity and how/when it came to be, the self discovery, the confidence, the insecurity, the compromise, the vulnerability!!! the GENDER. (god the outfits they put her in. stop im already dead. im so endeared to her you have no idea. but you probably do and THATS the magic, baby) i have found solace and camaraderie and belonging in people's content of/for her, and im not alone. seeing that passion and excitement is so profound to me, even more so than it usually is with art and community and fan spaces (which is already a lot). when i mentioned i was making a "what goromi means to me as a genderfluid person" post (the one that got scrapped oops lol), someone responded saying they, as a bigender person, also really loved goromi for that. it meant a lot to me to see. genderqueer readings of goromi are obviously not universal and there's for sure transphobia within the rgg fandom, but I've never seen such a large force of people united in not just a trans interpretation, but a genderqueer AND genderweird interpretation. WE THE GENDERFUCKS LOVE HER IS THE POINT

not much to say here besides: this is why marginalized rep matters in all media (rather than just designated gay zones), because seeing it grow/appear in media that means a lot to you makes you feel like you're being seen as a fan. you matter and are a part of that world. i think it especially makes sense as part of a big/long running franchise as well, as a part of adapting to a changing society and an acknowledgement of past gaps and work to correct it. it's also good to get a wide variety of voices and experience portrayed, and that's easier when more people are doing it.

related to above but this one's short but it's one thing to have a side character in an rgg game be queer and accepted, and it's another for a main character to be so queercoded, and accepted within canon, at that. i think that's part of why people care so much about how mine's lines and story are translated and depicted, as well, though that's another tangent for another time

umm other goromi points speed round

number one i have SUCH a big lllllllesbian crush on her oh my god. i love womne. two the visual art these people make of her is insane. like they UNLEASH. three the fan writing surrounding her is also so good mwah thanks y'all four i watch the goromi all answers somewhat frequently fun fact about me five if any character is getting a shrine in my house it's her. kiryu's a second. i need to see this woman all the time im not fucking around six her voice is soooo pretty to me seven why did they put her in the worst lighting in her intro. not important she serves always but that was really strange like she's pretty don't be scared of it. embrace it seven 80s goromi content drives me insane I've posted about it before but it's so fuckinf good eight t4t kazumaji is always going to be incredible and flavors where goromi exist are impeccable. same for saemaji. equality nine i love how she screeches and cackles and wears "gaudy" clothing i love how instead of trying to be the "perfect woman" she's like fuck it im gonna be myself it's like that post about that trans guy who wants to be one of those men who's house has a bunch of disassembled cars in its yard just loving the mundane and the unconventional or unconsidered elements of gender because it feels so good to explore that even if others take it for granted ten HARUKA + AUNT GOROMI CONTENT >>>>>>>!!!!!!!! eleven i love women and i love queens and i love queers uhhh i think that's most of it for now

kazumi time

i also love women. i love kazumi. i love her so so much. much like goromi there's a handful of ways to interpret her identity-wise and they're all fantastic.

something I've noticed about the series while trying to scheme up sapphic/"genderbend" (i mean it's? not the most accurate term but it's as close as i can get. "sexbend but they're cis" is i guess also it but like. they don't have to be cis? anyway) content for these characters is that a lot of the ways they live their lives and express themselves are very tied to a particular kind of masculinity. so like, take kiryu. kiryu's pretty gender conforming, and his job is to be a big strong man who protects the weak. he's expressed feeling pressure due to gendered expectations before. how would one go about an "everyone knows she's a woman + transphobia is not relevant (i.e. a cis woman kiryu or i guess just. really early transition kiryu? idk)" version of her? because she would not have these same expectations living as and being seen by the world + the yakuza as a woman, right? is she gender conforming, or gnc? is she butch or nah, i guess. and i think majima's relationship to goromi has some overlap, with like,, how he is only able to do yakuza things as a man and fun girly stuff as a woman, how she's an outlet/persona (or everyone just thinks she is).

this is to say that people seeing goromi (as she's allowed some wiggle room by being both more mischievous/deceptive and queercoded in a more feminine way) and seeing her and kiryu's dynamic and going oh bitch. it's makeover time and pulling him in is GREAT because it's fun and hrngh women sexyhot but also fascinating in regards to like,, how kiryu as a character relates to gender. I've seen a few interpretations (namely @squishylemonbubbles ) that view kazumi as a sort of way to put the sword and shield down and just... be. be taken care of, even. to be softer in ways she can't be as a man due to her environment. and i LOVE that shit. and then some people are like idk she's a bad bitch though let her have some gender too and that's ALSO GREAT. i like it when people explore her with goromi as a guide/catalyst, though i think it'd be cool to have her do things a little more independently of goromi/majima/kazumaji stuff just for the sake of it. i love her. people should draw/write about her way way way more often and maybe just exclusively from now on and i think maybe I'll be satisfied. i should do that too

bonus thought: we should do this for way more yakuza characters. you're telling me NO ONE has done saejima yet. I've never seen her. no daigo no akiyama no ichiban etc (i was gonna say nishiki but i actually HAVE seen hostess nishiki..... once... <3). c'mon. t-boy swag/drag king haruka also has a lot of potential but i think ppl never do it partially because there's no women in this series so like. endangered species

anyway im not kidding i actually was derailed for a while just going OUHOUUUGHHH I LOVE WOMEN when i first got this and it was a delight getting to answer this, thank you x (also sorry it was so long? anyway im gonna edit this and link to some of my goromi and kazumi content, of which there is too little, because i love them so so so so much. ok bye)

(ok here's some of my goromi and/or kazumi posts. some of them are old and im not proud of them all anymore but that's okay. they may not much but they're honest work. in approximate most recent -> least recent order)

NEW and referenced in i think the tags of this post: 80s goromi kazumaji disco meet cute (meet ugly? tbd)

misc doodles ft 80s goromi AND girlboss nishitani

goromi pink truck dialogue

squishy's kazumi design 1 (ft goromi and haruka)

squishy's kazumi design 2 (but it's just kazumaji this time)

she was a boy and he ate. worms

screaming into the void about drawing kazumi

^^similar but for goromi (actually im redrawing this atm bc i never posted it)

80s goromi text post

another goromi wip i didn't finish oops lmao

wigless goromi wigless goromi

goromi kiryu post-fight printcircle

misc goromis

aunt goromi

unfinished wip teaser i was super confident about and then never finished oops lol anyway it's more goromi

[thecherrygod]

Robot hdb and mechanic/technician kim pt 2, more serious this time

@morphlingunderscore thank you for taking interest in this!!! originally i didn't have too many thoughts about it but.... Something shifted, and last night i couldn't stop thinking about it, sorry if it got a bit too long kdkdkgks i got more invested than i thought i would

Maybe he was made by Dora? As part of a prototype series of robots, i think hdb could be harrys model And maybe she even named harry just. Harry. Bc there was something about him, about how programming, that was faulty but made him special (the skills. They make him too human while not human enough) (also maybe part of his program knows he had a name but it got wiped too, and he is fixated on it, on having lost that. .... It could be kept as part of a letter in a compartment somewhere in his robotic body... Maybe even in his chest cavity... Maybe Kim finds it when having to fix something in there........ No concrete thoughts there, just a vague idea that I'm keeping here.)

At first this would be very interesting, getting herself attached to him (and i feel like it's also the thing that makes Kim so invested in him later down the line)

But. Things keep breaking, he has blackouts (maybe caused by overheating? Maybe the skills cause the overheating and/or short-circuiting?), He keeps messing up his tasks, and his system may not be fully capable of following the classic three laws of robotics all the way through. It gets exhausting, she has better projects to work on, others that can stop being prototypes, more worthy of time and resources, that will get recognition, and get her out of the place they're living in.

And so she leaves, and leaves her old lab and obsolete projects to gather dust never to be used again.

Kim, on the other hand, really just is a mechanic for the most part, but he can really work with any machine, and would know about programming and circuits and everything, having learned about this on his free time.

This interest starts properly after having moved from foster families a few times, and managing to get a mechanic to take him and teach him how it all works, getting his hands on an actual engine,tho hes always been interested even as a child, from what he could find in books.

He has his own garage now, and works on any machine you bring him, from cars to a microwave, anything that helps him pay the bills and allows him to work with things he enjoys. Also doing these kind of household appliance fixes makes him go out in search for any parts that he may need for his job, whatever's cheaper (por straight up free, of you know where to go)

I think that, like in canon, it's thanks to Kim that harry wakes up again. In this case maybe hes looking around for something and manages to shock harry in a way that his body starts right there and then? Idk too much about this kinda stuff and it's late. It could also be noise with enough vibration to make Harry's gears shift again. But as i said idk about machines I'm general nor if that makes sense/is possible)

The rest is basically this: harry helps Kim find parts, either that they can use on him or on other machines. He malfunctions more now bc both of the prevailing issues, the wipe out, and the passing of time, and Kim is willing to fix the parts he can, and understand the ones that seem to make no sense, and this, all this, new, can bring a change to Kim's monotonous life, spark something in him, also be confronted about some of his being stagnant by harry. Also the wipeout isn't a complete thing, this guy would realize Kim likes speedfreaks and would use himself as a radio to play it just to see him have a good time, for example. His skills still work with understanding humans (... Sometimes).

another way of doing this tho would be hay being made for the rcm (still Dora's creation imo). Faulty but good for all the same reasons + this robot will give you a ridiculous list of theories/keep track of evidence/of witnesses) alibis/the things that have no relation to the case you don't want him to remember but still does.

In this case one of his faults could also be in fact his memory, and it being faulty enough it had an almost full cleaning could be from people trying to delete info from it and failing. Or him doing it himself so he feels like he still has a reason for not being discarded by the rcm. And kim could still be part of the rcm but both as a mechanic and a detective, or just mechanic, or just detective on paper but with the knowledge

[skyllion-uwu]

.

[cozage]

hello! Im kinda new to tumblr so i dont really know if im supposed to send requests here so sorry if im supposed to send it somewhere else, but for my request can it be fem! Reader x sanji? Hurt to comfort where he says something mean but then apologizes? And can you pull out the angsty bit a little, but make the ending fluffy? And for the format can it be like a mini fic? If you want you can add other characters but i mainly want sanji! Thats all! Sorry if my request didnt make sense as im new to tumblr😔. Thank youu!

A/N: Hi! You did everything perfectly!! Thank you for the request <3 it was so hard to make Sanji mean even accidentally 😭 I hope this is good! It’s also not edited so please forgive any grammatical errors!  Characters: fem reader x Sanji Cw: Sanji is an idiot and says mean things (and is a little sexist) Total word count: 900

Rude Comments

“I can do it, Sanji.” Your words came out quick and short. Your temper was rising, both at your task at hand and the blonde who was hovering behind you. He didn’t normally come with you on jobs for Franky, but he had been free today.

“It’ll be faster if I do it,” Sanji offered. He reached out for the wrench. 

“I can do it!” you snapped again. You pulled away from the task and glared at him. “Franky asked me to do this, so let me do it!”

“Well, it’s just…” Sanji eyed your clenched fist around the wrench and took a step back. “It’s not really a woman’s job to do this sort of thing, and-”

“What the hell do you mean by that?” you bellowed. “You think I’m not capable of doing this?”

Sanji threw his hands up in a plea. “No my love! It’s not that at all! It’s just…you’re not very good at this.”

It felt as though you had swallowed a stone. “Franky always asks me to do this.”

“And you’re being very helpful!” Sanji said quickly. “But he gives it to you because it’s not exactly a top priority task and…well, it’s really hard to mess up.” 

Sanji gave a weary look back to your workplace as if your handiwork spoke for itself. His pitied gaze and words made you suddenly want to be alone. 

“Fine,” you mumbled, dropping the wrench to the ground. “Fix it for me, then.”

“Of course, darling!” Sanji jumped at the wrench. You were fairly sure he was already starting to explain how he turned the bolt, but you walked out the door without listening further. 

You didn’t see Sanji for a while. That was fine with you, though. You retreated to the back of the ship and perched atop a barrel, staring out at the sea to think. Did Franky always give you useless tasks just to keep you busy? You frequently had to return to the same tasks again and again. What if Franky broke things just to have you fix them? 

The thought brought tears to your eyes. You had been so sure Franky enjoyed your company and valued your help. He had called you “super indispensable” more times than you could count. Was it all just a lie?

“Darling?” 

Sanji’s voice broke through your mental spiral and you quickly wiped the tears from your cheeks. 

“Yeah?” Your voice came out wobbly, but there was no point in hiding from Sanji. 

You turned to face him. You had been ready for him to fuss over you, but you found that he was covered in sweat and grease and plenty of other weird stains and smears. He didn’t even seem to acknowledge your puffy eyes at first. He looked too exhausted. 

“So, this is the part where I apologize,” he said softly. 

He strode over to you in three steps and swept your hair out of your face. His hands were covered in grime, and you could feel the oily substance stick to your face. The feeling made you jerk away from him, but he was already pulling out a clean cloth and wiping it away. 

“I’m sorry I said those things, my love. I know you are very capable of doing anything you put your mind to. Your persistence is one of my favorite things about you. I shouldn’t have tried to take that away from you. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry I thought I could do something better than you just because of our genders.”

His words made your eyes swell. You had planned on still being mad at him after this. But seeing those crystal blue eyes and hearing his sweet words made you crumble all over again. 

“I forgive you.” You sniffed and wiped the tears from your eyes again. “Just don’t do it again.”

Sanji let out a laugh. “Oh, I will never be taking on a task Franky gives you again. You know how I said it was ‘hard to screw up’? It turns out that was wrong. I broke the whole pipe. Franky was pissed. He said he doesn’t let anyone touch that problem except you and him. Something about the pressure system needing a delicate hand, and only the two of you have the knack for it.”

It took a moment for his words to process, but you could feel your heart swelling. “Franky only lets me do that?”

Sanji nodded, guiding you towards the kitchen. “And a few other tasks. Says you’re the only one he trusts to do it right.” 

“I didn’t know that.” You had a vague feeling that you needed to cry for an entirely different reason now. 

He gave another laugh and sat you at the counter. “Well, you always excel at everything you do. It turns out I have a lot to make up for. What should we start with, chocolate cake or ice cream?”

[hauntedrain]

Part 1: Unexpected | Max Verstappen x Fem Reader |

mixed Social media AU summary: Max stumbles upon a twitch streamer who peaks his interest

✮▹A/N: Love you guys and thank you for 1,000 notes on my last post but also 100 followers! love you guys

✰▹Warnings/Notices: Used random names for readers friends, also i really didnt know how to format this tbh so might be a bit weird and make no sense. NOT EDITED.

Part 2: Here!

liked by 25,456 others

@Y/N: Stream was lovely today, sorry for missing the last stream. love you guys and see you on the weekend! ALSO new video out on YouTube with Theo and Lorelei.

Y/N has posted a youtube video!

YouTube transcript!

Y/N: Its actually really pretty out today, I expected it to be a little more gloomy. But its rather sunny out.

Lorelei: Why are you talking like that?

Y/N: What do you mean? Just because you still talk like a 5 year old doesn't mean I have to stay on your level.

Lorelei: Anyways...

Theo: Did you hear that they're planning an f1 race here?

Y/N: F1? Like the vroom vroom thing you like?

Lorelei: PLEASE the vroom vroom thing.

Y/N: I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS!

Theo: Yes the vroom vroom thing. Anyways yea they're planning it.

Lorelei: What team do you like?

Theo: McLaren. you?

Lorelei: Maybe Redbull or Ferrari.

Y/N: Preferably I like the one thats winning. so...

Theo: Redbull.

Y/N: got it.

Y/N: I wanted to buy this coat from down the street from my apartment but it was like $150. At that time I really thought about where and if I should find a rich man to marry.

Lorelei: F1 drivers are rich.

Theo: Like rich rich, mainly the popular and good ones but thats besides the point.

Y/N: As much as you guys try im not gonna get into F1. And also why is this video just you guys insulting me over not knowing anything.

Theo: We just think you'll like it.

Y/N: Cars going in a circle for 2 hours? Would rather watch football

Lorelei: But you like football.

Y/N: Yeah thats my point?

Max Verstappen has gone live!

Max Verstappen has ended the stream!

Liked by Max verstappen & 32,345 others

@Y/N: Why are people tagging me in F1 stuff? And whos Max verstappen? HELP.

user8: LMFAO MAX IN THE LIKES. THIS POOR GIRL.

user9: I think you should do a reaction video or stream to everything.

↪ user10: she would need Theo and Lorelei for help.

user11: MAX CAN TELL YOU.

↪ Y/N: WHO TF IS MAX?

↪ Lorelei: Babe please come to my room. I'll explain everything.

↪ user12: MAKE A VIDEO OUT OF IT PLEASE OR STREAM IT.

↪ Y/N: Will do?

Y/N has gone Live!

titled: HELP ME.

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: Guys im deeply sorry if this makes no sense and everything is confusing. IDK what im doing. but love you guys and I hope you enjoyed.

[jj-maybanks-daughter]

Jj x daughter

She gets home from having a fight and she tries to hide it but the pogues notice but she tries to hide it so she goes to her room and jj comes and she cracks in cried in his arms and he soothes her

Fight

It had been a rough week. Y/ns boyfriend, tristen having an ex made it worse.

Her name was Kat with a K y/n always made fun of the k in her head but never outloud. They didn't really have issues. At least y/n didn't

At the party

"so, y/n, what's it like being a home wrecker?" Kat came up behind her and put her hand on her back while y/n was talking to her froends.

"what?" She asked turning around

"you heard me, bitch" Kat yelled, getting attention from the people around her

"you see, the music's really loud and I wasn't talking to you. I did not hear you" y/n said leaning to one hip and putting a hanf on the other

"your a home wrecker." Kat yelled

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but you broke up with him and I got with him after. Something is not adding up"

Kat lunged to y/n and y/n just step to the side and gave her a staredown . then out of no where she got a fist to the face.

"your gonna regret doing that, sweetheart"

Y/n punched Kat back but harder, sending her go the ground. She normally wouldn't do that, but the beer had already gotten to her head. She shook her fist (like John b did when he punched topper) and walked away.

"get outta here!" One of the girls yelled from the house

Y/n flipped them off and walked home. She had a bruise on her eye, bruised knuckels and a cut on her lip. She didn't want to tell her dad about the fight so she was just gonna go to her room.

"hi dad, I'm home" she yelled to him. The lights were off so she was in the clear.

She scurried up to her room and sit's half way shut the door to get some makeup on the bruises.

"hey y/n" pope said as he walked by her room.

"why are you doing makeup, it 10 pm" jj laughed.

"I don't know I just felt like it" she smiled

"can I help" Sarah practically begged. She always helped y/n with makeup

"no."

"come on kid, let your aunt do it" Jj said in the doorway

"what's that?" Followed after. He walked into her room and she turned her face away.

"nothing, go away" she said walking to her bed

"there's something on your lip, let me get it" he sakd reaching for her face and pulling it towards him. He squinted his eyes at the makeup and lip. "What the he'll happened" he asked

"Kat." She cried

"come here, its alright" he said hugging her and putting his ead on hers.

"she said I was a home wrecker when she broke up with him that doesn't make any sense"

"I hope you didn't punch her first" he said taking a look at her eye

"I didnt" she said n looking down

Sarah had gotten a Snapchat notification and opened it.

They heard her gasp and they turned around to see.

"what's wrong " y/n sniffeled.

"damn you got her good" Sarah chuckled, turning the phone around

"fuck" y/n mumbked . that was the last thing she wanted. They got everything on camera.

People made edits of i, and she had to admit, they made her look pretty cool, but she didn't want it to be a big thinf.

"that'll show Kat with a K to mess with my daughtee " Jj said giving g her a high five.

She looked down and smiled. She got a notification from tristen. She held her breath as she opened ut.

Tristen <3

Thanks for beating her

Ass. I love you <3

She let out a sigh. It was all gonna be ok.

[dino-boyo-agere]

Anon asked me:

I’m very new to the whole agere thing, but after looking into it a little i feel like I’ve been kind of subconsciously doing it? like I said, I didnt really do any research, I’ve been honestly very very shy about bringing it up anywhere.

Whenever my mental health worsens, I end up feeling so.. small? Like I want to just curl up and make myself so small and disappear. But so far from what I’ve seen people usually aren’t so negative and “miserable” when age regressing, but thats how I feel. I just kind of feel so sad and teary eyed all the time is that also a part of it? Or am I experiencing something else?

I’m terribly sorry to dump all this on you haha, I really hope I’m making sense.

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Thank you so much for reaching out, I know how hard it can be to ask for advice and I'm very proud of you for doing so, good job! /gen

Your absolutely making sense and you are not alone at all!

The official term of what you are describing is "impure regression" it's regression that is caused by / causes negative emotions.

I personally don't like the term "impure regression", I usually call it "sad-" or "upset regression" but I wanted to give you the official term, so you can find others who share your experience more easily!

I also have to deal with upset regression quite a lot, it's mainly caused by stress for me aswell.

The AgeRe community has this issue (like most online communities) that it often tries to only show the happy times. All positivity and smiles and playing. But regression can be messy. It can be upsetting and scary. It can feel debilitating.

Just know that you are not broken. You aren't "doing regression wrong" and it's not your fault you feel this way!!

Regression is a form of therapy and can be a trauma response, those things aren't meant to be "just happy". They exist to help you process and work through your feelings, all your feelings. That also means the negative ones.

I'll link some sources to maybe help you (and anyone else who needs it) to understand the process of regression, especially upset regression:

What is regression in general, why do people do it and what is it for?

What is upset regression specifically?

Why we move away from the former term of "impure regression"?

Tips on how to deal with upset regression?

More tips on how to deal with upset regression

A post to show you that you're not alone

A very helpful website! youragerefriend.com

I know sometimes it can feel like you're with your problems alone in this world, but I promise you're not! There's always a place for you, and if you can't find it, it'll find you.. eventually. So, please, don't give up! <3

Hopefully this was helpful, if you have any further questions, feel free to ask. You can also reach out in my DMs, if you're comfortable with that! <3

.ﾟ｡.･.*.ﾟ☆❗only interact if your blog is SFW❗☆ ﾟ.*.･. ｡ﾟ.

I wasn't able to edit the ask, after sending it to my drafts, but I had to add those links.. So, I got impatient and decided to answer the ask like this. I hope this is okay for you anon and hopefully Tumblr fixes the bug soon!

[butchdiaz]

hiiiii your edits are so incredible!!! i've been thinking about trying my hand at video editing do you have any tips?? also how does one source clips lol

hope you're having a good day :)

hi!!!! thank u so much! for sourcing clips, i did it the hard way by downloading full episodes and screen recording the clips i wanted w quicktime which is a lengthy process that takes up a lot of space on ur laptop LOL but i really wanted HD footage and didnt know any other way when i started and now i just have my own little library of clips.

here is a lifesaving site to download eps if u dont wanna/cant torrent. i forget who made it but if someone knows lmk so i can credit!

after i had done all that i discovered that there were these magical things called scene packs that are more popular over on twitter. where u can easily download every buddie scene in s2-4 for example that took me hours to record myself 🤦🏽‍♂️ i dont really have any specific sources for u bc im not on twitter. sorry ik thats not very helpful LMAO but if u ask around/search for them i know they are out there!

and uhhh as far as tips go here are some things i personally think about while editing! everyone has different styles and methods though:) this got long accidentally so its going under the cut oops

- i like to try and tell a story w my edits so im almost always thinking about that first and foremost. like how can i tie the beginning to the end and have a satisfying climax etc. i try to work with the song and highlight the emotional/tonal shifts in the music with my editing

- on that note, i am very influenced by the music while im editing cause i want my edits to LOOK like how it FEELS when im listening to the song. i think my best example of this is im afraid i love you. the drop in the chorus feels like a punch to the gut everytime and i really wanted to visuals to reflect that so it would be the most powerful. hence: soft lovey dovey looks galore and then BAM! SHOOTING. these comments fills my heart with glee cause it makes me feel like i did a good job capturing the feeling the song gives me.

i also really love the way the beat comes in in the second verse of that song and i made sure to sync up the shots to the beat at that moment instead of the words in order to highlight the musical shift. (i always think about how @ilostyou loves that verse and calls it bouncy, it makes me feel like i achieved my goal!!!!)

- the little details and nitpicky stuff goes a long way! like painstakingly making sure clips hit right on time with the beat/the words if thats ur intention. it may seem like a chore at the time but it definitely pays off for me at least

- i also think a LOT about composition, and how to make edits flow smoothly so that the viewer can follow the story easily. if i have a bunch of faster clips in a row im going to try to make sure the focus stays in the same place so the viewers eyes dont have to jump around to find what they are looking for. its easier to explain w an example so in happy to be here, for these three shots on the word "en-gi-neer" i wanted the order to go frank -> dr salazar -> buck.

because then it goes back to frank for "listening" so i wanted space between when it shows him AND i wanted it to end on buck cause he's the most important. but the original shot of dr. salazar was flipped so at first it looked like this:

and i didn't like how ur eyes had to go back and forth so fast, so i flipped the middle clip. it was much easier to process all three clips in quick succession if the subject didn't move. hope that makes sense!

[spookfished]

media roundup february

hi everybody :3 i didnt really read a lot in february i was busy 'doing school' and 'looking for employment.' sad! i have spring break coming up so im planning on using that time to read a bunch (and also apply for more jobs -_-) this post and previous can be found on my neocities!

books:

revenant gun by yoon ha lee: the last book in the hexarchate series, starting with ninefox gambit. (slightly edited from my discord review, SPOILERS INCOMING). in machineries of empire, there a disconnect between what the audience craves and what the book is willing to give them-- for example, things like Whats up with the calendar + the hexarchate, why did jedao do all that, etc. this works in the books favor (imo) by increasing tension, creating a sense of discovery, and avoiding clunky exposition.

however in the two sequels it expands not just to what the audience wants but also what they like. care about? some big examples are the weight of the remembrances* and less cheris, but also stuff like jedaos focus. which isnt bad like i like jedao. but like, if you Dont you sure do get a lot of him. also did anyone actually like brezan sorry. hes fine like for example with the end of a memory called empire, when the protag (forgot her name sorry) loses her brain buddy, it feels like a second coming of age almost--her brain buddys been a crutch but now she gets to stand on her own (albeit as a changed person, with brain buddys influence). vs cheris who kinda starts to feel like a cameo character who literally fucks off for nine years??? there is also a sort of ongoing sense of "these sacrifices for the greater good are ok (if sad) and these are not" whihc ngl sometimes feels pretty arbitrary to me. and given that machineries of empire focuses on like the Littlest most downtrodden people it really is wild yhat we dont see a lot of civilian life? anyways i enjoyed it and i think its worth finishing out the trilogy but it wasnt as satisfying as i could have hoped (ALSO NINEFOX GAMBIT IS A REALLY FUN SOLID READ. I LIKED IT A LOT)

*the rememberances are a set of ritualized tortures that create a power structure that literally powers a lot of the empire's technology. this is a very cool concept! a big part of jedao and cheris' rebellion is about making a place that Doesnt have to run on torture. except that like, besides the intellectual knowledge that Torture Is Bad as a reader i didnt really feel that invested in this? like we only get to See a remembrance happening midway thru book 3. im not like advocating for torture porn or anything but it seems weird to have that be the focal thing when neither cheris nor jedao had any scenes where they were affected by it (and so the audience didnt have anything like that either). idk it kinda just stood out to me. like yes i care about these characters but why should i care about This specifically

hexarchate stories by yoon ha lee: an anthology set in the world of machineries of empire, expanding the world and fleshing out some stories. this was pretty solid! theres a wide range of stories and lengths, and i liked the variety :3 its like a little charcuterie board. (yoon ha lee's bias for shuos jedao really stands out here though..) its kinda essential reading to me imo though bc otherwise the ending of revenant gun isnt that satisfying :| lol anyways once again if youve read ninefox gambit check it out! spoilers for the whole series tho

exordia by seth dickinson: hard scifi about agency, impossible choices, and how they shape you. also, international geopolitics! like ninefox gambit, exordia demands your attention and concentration. you kinda have to read it at a time when you have brainpower to spare. however, exordia rewards everything that you put into it :3 i ended up learning so many random facts during this book… like AGL meaning above ground level. i feel like i need to read a book about democratic confederalism now also. a couple of my other friends read this book and got lost in the large cast and intricate web of events--i didnt have as much of an issue but u might need a piece of paper or sth. exordia is a book that's dense enough to feel like three books, and that can be good or bad. seth dickinson has this really spare, concise prose that leaves a lot to your imagination but also like. can sum up a person or situation in just a couple sentences? and that leaves a lot of room for the reader to investigate which i like :3 hm what else to say…. i really liked clayton (clayton!!!!) but i found erik super annoying ymmv. the ending kinda leaves you at a loss which i honestly kinda like? like yeah obv a sequel would be nice but i like it the way it is. anyways not for the faint of heart but id still recommend<3

accidentally engaged by farah heron: f/m romance aww so cute <3 really nice contemporary romance which tosses together a bunch of tropes--arranged romance, fake dating, baking together--into something that actually works really well! the two leads were very charming and i liked reading about the good food. i liked the way the protagonist's almost-stereotypical portrait of a loving but strict south asian family (am i allowed to say this) gets fleshed into a group of honestly kinda bizarre people that love her and that reena can genuinely connect with. yay family! overall, not especially memorable to me personally but still enjoyable. rec if youre into contemporary romance

last breath: the limits of adventure: realistic fiction (?) about what it feels like to drown, die of dehydration, fall from a cliff, etc. lots of research, very thorough! (well sometimes they live and sometimes they dont). an expansion of this absolutely fantastic article about hypothermia. honestly none of the stories quite live up to this one imo but this is still a really solid and exciting read! i couldnt put it down! although it does have a touch of the orientalism that you get from like, a lot of extreme sports circles lol. i would definitely recommend reading the article, and maybe read the book if it especially interests you.

video games:

pokemon legends of arceus: a pokemon game set in the past that breaks the mold by letting you dodge roll. my opinions here coincide pretty closely with the dunkey video, which is that this is a really fun game that is also literally half finished. controls are clunky, story is paper thin, graphics are fucked, overworld is extremely empty but its also just very fun?? it took over my life for like two weeks and i missed class???? anyways i would not get this at full price but if you can borrow it from a friend its super interesting to experience. im looking forward to the kalos one :3

slay the princess: a horror? romance? visual novel about saving the princess, slaying tbe princess, and everything in between featuring the vocal chops of that one magnus archives guy. dudeee this is so fun! i think its very kind to the guy inside of me who is Embarrassingly Anxious about any and all video game choices that can like, affect the narrative. lmfao its fun to fit in a couple runs or two between other things, but i did start losing track of what previous paths id taken after a bit of a gap. however!!! i would definitely think about playing this game if you like visual novels or Narrative or Loops! or girls who kill lol theres a free demo if you want to try it out

movies:

velocipastor: action movie about a priest who turns into a velociraptor to punish the wicked!!!! so fucking cool a lot of love put into this (low budget) movie made me so sad i dont speak cantonese (? at least i think thats what it was) watch this with friends

music:

Gato by nobonoko: really fun 80s synth jazz? album written by two fictional gay furries. no wait come back ok this is one of those things i got recommended by youtube and then actually listened to it a bunch of times its just very soothing and nice :3 ive been listening to jazz pretty much my whole life so i have a huge bias. also im a sucker for fictional bands eg splatoon… also the art is so cute?? those two guys?? its hard to pick a favorite song but i think i like the titular gato! also theres a bunch of other stuff made by the same two artists

option by Crosses: i totally forgot what the genre for this is but its like when metal guys are like i need to have a song for my metal wedding. song recommended by neil -_- anyways very sappy im fond of it nonetheless. i definitely did think it said "can you promise me to the grave"

Roy by Idles: from british rock band idles new album tangk! im going to be honest i did not like this album as much as some of the other ones by idles, but thats ok! hmm when i play this song out loud during crew shifts i feel embarrassed. but i really like seeing how idles' vocalist's voice has evolved over time! the way hes branched out into more melodic and belty stuff over time is very fun. the prechorus + chorus are very fun to sing along to as well :3 its just a fun song

anyways if you read any portion of this thanks as always :3 what else to say.. i made pandesal recently and its been my only successful bread that i can remember. go me! anyways see you guys in a bit

[shadowwoman06]

Hey! Hope you're doing well. Do you have any Candle Cove headcanons you wanna share? :)

OMG!! Thank u so much for asking! I'm really sorry I haven't gotten to this any sooner (I just reinstalled the app not too long ago and I didn't think it's been this long lol. Edit: I just reinstalled tumblr again lol and holy crap its been a good minute and I'm sorry I didnt get to this any sooner, you can beat me up for it lol :<) But, I do have a couple of headcannons for the CC character along with some OCS too! :3 (one being a self insert lmao💀💀💀)

To start off:

* Pirate Percy has PTSD and extreme paranoia. The PTSD being cause by his father's death and Red Mary betraying the previous crew he was in. (I'm sticking more connonicly with this one since it kinda makes the most sense lol) and his paranoia being due to the Red Mary incident since everyone (besides talapio, she's a dope magic spider lady :3) were either killed or were never seen again after the incident and he also doesn't really trust people because if this.

* Janice also has a little PTSD due to her abuse by her sister, Melrose as well as her mother's death.

* Gretchen (an OC of mine, might post something about her if people would like! :>) is EXTREMELY terrified of fire, like phobia scared of fire. This it due to the fact that she was burned on the stake in her previous life for being a "witch". She also isn't too keen on men (sometimes) due to her past life as well. She's super besties with Horrace since he's the only other magic user she knows (besides Talapio) who isnt evil af like red mary.

* Samantha (YES, THE SELF INSERT💀💀💀) treats the children on the ship as her own, she'll kick anyone's butt for them, crewmate or not. They're her little kids and no one will harm them unless they want a punch right in the gut or worse on a bad day.

* Jacob (another OC of mine lol) is very scared of being abandoned. He was found on an island the Laughingstock Crew kinda crash landed on (they misread their map lol) and found him inside of a run down/burnt building on the island (kinda AU-ish, I can talk more about if people are interested in hearing lol) he was the only one found on the island and no one else was ever found

* Milo throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way and will act like a little kid when he doesn't get his way (think of it as those spoiled kid compilations on youtube lol)

* Gretchen, as well, loves kids. In her past life, she always loved kids and dreamt of having one of her own. She care for the kids in the ship as well as anyone in need of help or just a hug :>

If you wanna hear anymore of my goofy little headcannons just let me know!!! :3

[stormoflina]

i like dom, he is a sweetheart, but its true he didnt deliever what he was signed for. after hendo we wanted a midfielder who can score goals, who will have g/a. sadly, dom is not that guy. im not blaming him, neither is ale, although he is being played out of position

----------------------------------------

this type of comments give me the ick so bad hahaha when it refers to players that are new to a league like Domi. he is new to a completely different league with a team that has certain plans and strategies that he needs to adapt to, just like every other player lmao.

yeah, some players adapt faster than others, but i think that's what happens literally everywhere: some adapt faster to new environments than others lolol.

Mac Allister had been playing in the premier prior to getting to Liverpool yeah, but it's still a new team with new everything lol. he is slowly finding himself within the team's system and we can see that.

i think we cannot speak so surely about a player's performance so early on unless they have been complete and utter shit and have not delivered anything at all, those types of "failed" signings are very easy to spot early on. but yeah, at least give them a year and, in Domi's case, wait for him to come back from his injury too omg. i think even Mo has talked about how Domi is new to all of this and that he is still young so he has a lot to learn still and ppl should not put so much pressure on him.

yeah, ppl hyped him up a lot (even the media, because... its the media) and he might have leaned into that hype if that makes sense, but wouldn't you do it too? i would also feel like im on top of the world and use this hype to get more confident. but the pressure is bound to get too much esp. with someone new to the league.

so sorry for the long rant omg, ive been thinking about this for a while. i hope it all makes sense, im not a native english speaker.

i just want to finish off by saying: give him (them) time and let's give constructive criticism i beg (this is not for anon omg this is in general cause a lot of people love to talk shit instead of trying to help lmao)

Hi anon!

Don't you apologize for the rant, I really enjoyed reading it, especially because I wholeheartedly agree and couldn't have said it better myself! And as a non-native speaker I wouldn't have guessed that English isn't your first language if you don't mention it!

Essentially, I think Domi is a victim of his own early success. He literally hit the ground running and even that doesn't express fully how quickly he got so popular. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I remember how he got POTM for August, or his jersey sold the most at the start of the season. I even remember that like two months into the season there was some stupid 'who's your favourite lfc player' poll on twt and he got first place (??) and there was a complete meltdown over that lool.

So, for the first few months, he was everywhere, in the media, on social media, constantly praised, edited next to Stevie G, it was a LOT. Everyone was definitely doing too much, so when the inevitable happened and realism kicked in, some were quick to be loud with their criticism. Just like they say, the higher you get, the worse the fall will be. In my opinion, that's what happened.

I also feel like that because of his great start, people just completely forgot his original situation - that he's young, from a slower, less physically demanding league, with winter breaks, less game time, playing a completely new role, moving to a whole other country alone, knowing absolutely nobody etc, etc. Sure, everyone of our new signings got their fair share of criticism, but I do feel like there was also a level of patience with them, something that was/is a bit of lacking with Dominik. Endo and Grav were able to get slowly used to the Prem, getting their minutes managed, Dominik didn't. He was playing essentially the role of two players multiple times with all the red cards flying around in the first months and I say this comfortably, that many games were won thanks to his efforts.

This is how a team works, where players are fighting for each other and not just their own egos. He stepped up when Endo and Grav couldn't because of their fitness and when CuJo and Macca were sent off (..) or injured. And now, the others are doing the same thing. It's just recency bias that has people forming sometimes rather harsh opinions, I think.

GOSH, I do suffer from a very serious yapping disease. I could write literal essays on topics like this lol.

[imraespace]

‼️ before reading this i just wanna let you know i yapped so hard during this and i never realized how long this was until i started rereading im so sorry. i hope everything i said makes sense </3 ‼️

ohymogsh thank you for suggesting sae w mala by 6ix9ine bc you just gave me the most brilliant idea ever omg

ALSO OMG U ALSO EDIT/EDITED OMG YAYAYAY i wanna learn how to do like yk those complex transitions w them cubes and all that bc they look so cool but im so scared ill mess them up and its gonna look so bummy 💔

I ANIMATE/TWEEN AS WELL but i use the term animate more bc the term tweening reminds me of gacha life tweening tutorial and my gacha phase was something thats for sure..!

im lowkey considering to like stop editing and start writing stories or create smaus because it takes so long to animate and i cant really do anything else except a simple zoom in/out ☹️

ive been trying to tween this one kaiser fanart and i never realized how bad kaisers hair was until i was erasing each layer of hair for 12 hours AND IM STILL SOMEHOW NOT DONE?? I STARTED THIS ABOUT A MONTH AGO TOO. i have beef w ness now cuz he couldve just gave this guy a bob cut and my life would have been so much easier >:(

i apologize that i never stop talking bc once i start talking about something im interested in i just somehow never stop BUT IM GLAD WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON OTHER THAN OUR LOVE OF BLUELOCK !!

- 🐙

LMAO ITS OKAY once i start yapping i cant stop as well

ALSO YIPPEE IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!

ABT THE COMPLEX TRANSITIONS I REALLY WANNA LEARN THOSE AS WELL i went looking at my old edits and realized i didnt even have a certain style it was all over the place LMAO i mostly edit during my genshin phase and i swear one day it was a cute yoimiya edit then next it was a depressing albedo edit that looks wayy different..

i say you should do what you want to rn like i had fun editing for while until i got bored then randomly i made a book on wattpad and it was fun to do so now im here writing for fun! ive gotten the feeling to edit a few times before but i realized how TIME CONSUMING IT IS LIKE WITH WHAT YOU SAID WITH KAISER IT TOOK ME A WHOLE MONTH TO MAKE A WHOLE EDIT WITH JUST TWEENING.

and DONT GET ME STARTED ON WHEN YOU FINISHED CROPPING THE INDIVIDUAL PARTS AND PLACE IT IN THE EDITING APP you realized you missed something out or theres a noticeable spot you forgot to hide(esp for the hair) it makes me wanna just delete everything

i think ness was feeling a bit goofy when he did kaiser haircut bc his rat tails in the back of his head is kinda funny.. i wouldve just made kaiser bald and do the edit just like that for funsies

ALSO SAMEE i cant stop talking if its something im interested in AND YIPEPE WE GOT TWO(hehehe three if you count our non stop blabbering) IN COMMON

whatever you choose to do with the editing or writing just have fun with it and you can always go back to the other one if you want!

WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY THIS HELP I HAD A GACHA PHASE AS WELL I HAD A YT CHANNEL AND SADLY I DELETED EVERYTHING BC I WANTED TO WATCH MY CRINGE VIDEOS BUT ITS ALL GONE. but ya!

[orangesideirrational]

drabble (technically 4) inspired by @cartilagehumdrum 's horror mvt au!

(i originally shared this in the discord server)

(if you see red throughout this then its a break in the text to explain smthn rq/ break up the different drabbles because its 4am lol)

be warned- gore? kinda? vauge depictions of gore.

you dont need to have read mvt horror to understand this, but it will definitetly make far more sense if you do

edit- sorry for forgetting but this entire thing is inspired by this post!

sorry about all the spelling errors and i hope you enjoy!!

-

'benny...' champagne started. benny's heart quickened and he just knew that champagne could hear it.

'whasup, champ?' he grinned unsteadily.

'can i.. have something? of yours?' champagne asked, with a voice that suggested a deep hunger. benny stepped back, not letting his smile dip but feeling fear pulse through him.

'well ya already got 3 of my ribs and a kidney, what more do ya really need?' benny asked lightheartedly, trying desperately not to let the fear infect his voice

'i was thinking...' champagne said slowly, stepping towards benny smoothly in a way that made benny's heart skip with something other than fear for a moment.

'maybe.. i could have your heart?' benny was sure champagne had somehow stopped it for a moment as he said that, because he was suddenly breathless. and very very aware that he was pressed against a wall, face an inch away from the doctor's, in a room alone with a quite-possible-psychopath that had already stolen several of his bones and an organ.

'd-dont i need that o-one t-ta survive?' benny stuttered, trying not to look at champagne's lips because that was not appropriate when his life was being threatened. even if the guy threatening him was very attractive.

'oh, ill keep it safe.' champagne assured, placing his hand over benny's chest but not touching, like if he did he wouldnt be able to stop himself from just reaching in and just...

benny took a stuttering breath and-

sterling came crashing through into the room calling for benny before stopping and making champagne leave the room.

'you ok benny? i know that guy gets to you a lot.' sterling asked. benny nodded shakily and assured him that he was fine, he would be ok.

what terrified benny most, however, was that before sterling came running in the word on his lips was yes

and champs pov-

(for this- bold= emphasis italics= flesh)

'benny...' champagne started. his heart thudded in his chest and champagne relished in the sound. it was so melodic. so pretty. just from champagne saying benny's name. now how fast can you make it go?

'whasup, champ?' benny's smile was so pretty. maybe you can take some teeth next! champagne felt a familiar hunger that wasnt his brewing as he stepped forward towards benny. just like a beast hunting its prey!! ew, hunt.

'can i.. have something? of yours?' why are you asking permisson? thats so boringg. just reach in and- champagne almost shushed it, but felt it might ruin the moment.

'well ya already got 3 of my ribs and a kidney, what more do ya really need?' oh he was so cute. his fear is so so fun! so sweet and nice and-

'i was thinking...' champagne drawled, smoothly stepping towards benny thats not all fear though- ooh this makes it MUCH more fun! and letting a smile crawl across his face, showing off his sharp teeth.

'maybe.. i could have your heart?' champagne was asking for so much, and benny didnt even know it. its not that much, just another- delicious, mind you- organ he had trapped benny, now, against a wall. he would back off when benny said no, because he would almost certainly say no, but for now this was fun. not in the normal flesh way either. this was fun for him.

benny stuttered something out, but champagne was distracted by the way his eyes ew. eyes. kept flicking down to champagne's lips. champagne didn't kiss him, it likely wouldnt be a pleasent experience for either of them i mean youve never really TRIED, but he really really wanted to. in a midly terrifying way (and not in the usual terror-filled way, either)

'oh, ill keep it safe' champagne assured. he needed benny to let him have this. his heart. yum. not to eat. he wasnt lying. he was going to keep it safe. he promised.

then someone came crashing in and ruined it.

champagne didnt hold grudges per say but if that guy was the next to be turned into a dinosaur it would be his own damn fault.

he was sure benny would say no, but the moment itself felt special, somehow.

heres also a few versions of 'if sterling didnt interrupt!' (he is being attacked by moths)

benny took a stuttering breath and swallowed a lump in his throat.

he should say no. he has to say no. this is crazy. he should just say no. or maybe dont even say it, just push champagne away and run. SAY. NO.

'sure.' benny said, breathless already. champagne blinked. was he surprised?

'oh, are ya surprised?' benny grinned, pretending his heart wasnt going a mile a minute and his throat was dry and he was bracing for sweet pain and that he wasnt so in love with this insane doctor that probably wouldve had his medical lisence revoked if this wasnt the literal apocalypse

'really?' champagne sounded breathless too, like they had both run a marathon and were now here. with benny agreeing for champagne to take his heart oh god this was insane-

'sure. as long as you put it back before i die.' benny smiled, heart going insane (just like he did. he mustve gone insane. champagne mustve made him insane because there was no way he had just agreed to let someone LITERALLY BORROW HIS HEART-)

'of course.' champagne seemed shocked and pleased and hungry and dangerous and- and beautiful and benny felt a hand cup his cheek before he passed out.

champs pov

(again- bold = emphasis italics = flesh)

benny's shuddering breath landed on champagne's neck and it felt so human that for a moment the flesh didn't exist and it was just them and-

'sure.' benny sounded breathless. champagne blinked. YES. YES YES YES YES YES YES TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT GIVE IT TO US CRUSH IT IN YOUR HANDS GIVE IT TO US- benny was supposed to say no

'oh are ya surprised?' benny snarked acting like champagne couldnt feel his heart beating and hear its beautiful melody and like he couldnt feel their chests heaving why are you so worked up? it should be us because were about to get FOOD

'really?' champagne breathed and ignored bennys snark. because he had to be sure before he took his heart. WHY DO YOU CARE? JUST FEED US FEED US FEED US FEED US FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD-

'sure. as long as you put it back before i die.' benny smiled and champagne disregarded any idea of stealing teeth the flesh ever had because holy shit champagne was in love.

'of course.' champagne promised. he didnt care how loud it screamed he was going to keep that FUCKING promise. he cupped benny's cheek which was a mistake because now he really wanted to kiss him-

and benny fell to the floor. champagne followed and ended on his knees next to an unconcious benny and the flesh was going insane.

champagne wasnt going to hurt benny. he wasnt going to crush his heart in your hands then eat it then feed it to us then then then oh my everything the possibilities GIVE IT TO US GIVE IT TO US GIVE IT TO US hurt benny.

champagne reached his hand into benny's chest and it was warm and beautiful and TAKE EVERYTHING WARP IT FEED US WAKE HIM UP AND MAKE HIM SCREAM so human that champagne almost felt jealous as his hand closed around benny's heart and he didn't even want to disturb it because of all the stupid human poetry about love and all that shit and champagne blinked back the red red red that was seeping into his vision because he was not the flesh and he fucking promised and he withdrew his arm from benny's chest and he closed his hands around his ears because he didnt care what they screamed he was going to keep benny safe- his heart. he was going to keep his heart safe.

[shmypko]

havent really drawn anything these days bc of my mental health and whatnot so have this little piece of text that i wrote like.. two weeks ago (it does not feel like two weeks) and cant finish because i didnt write it all at once so my writing powers left me. translation is under the image, i want to leave the russian version too bc i think the original pieces language feels better(?) AND YES I LIKE FANCY FONTS btw i hope its not too ooc,, i tried to portray the characters the way i feel them(?)

" Raskolnikov suddenly rose and clung to Vrazumikhin's lips. The movement was so unexpected and impulsive that even he did not fully understand what he had done. Well, let it be - it's too late. The kiss felt like something experimental, almost like the first kiss of a boy, of which he would later feel ashamed. For Rodion, it was true. He has never kissed a woman in his life - meaning kisses on the lips; those that pierce to the middle of the soul and warm it - not to mention people of his own sex. Raskolnikov grabbed Vrazumikhin's shoulder with his weak hand. He sloppily clung to others lips with his own, while breathing heavily: both from illness and from the moment. This whole gesture caused Vrazumikhin worry and misunderstanding. He couldn't make sense of what was happening - it seemed to him that Rodya was trying to say something, but because of the illness, he was just whispering and muttering into his lips. Dima, still not getting over from the surprise of the action (so typical for his Rodion), worried about the well-being of a person close to him, held Raskolnikov by the head and gently lowered him back onto the bed. "Rodya, you-" but as soon as Vrazumikhin pulled away from Raskolnikov, the latter got close to him again and now tried to kiss his friend with renewed strength.

------- second fragment

And then the cold took him: it all felt so disgusting, so unnecessary and distant for him. Rodion quickly turned to the wall and stared at its patterns, breathing sharply. "What's wrong? What's the matter with you?" Vrazumikhin startled. There was no response from Raskolnikov, one could only observe how his body jerkily rose and fell. Dmitry quietly, tenderly lowered himself and hugged Rodya, who was so dear to him - he surprisingly did not twitch, only breathed softly. It seemed that he was overwhelmed by pity, despite his mixed feelings about everything that was around him and happening to him now. Vrazumikhin did not move - it was too scary to hug Rodion tighter or let him go completely. One would think that they both fell asleep if they looked at them from the side. Suddenly, Raskolnikov slowly shifted, forcing his friend's attention to himself. He slowly took his hand out from under the blanket and put it on Vrazumikhin's forearm, stroking him in his own way - as if he was afraid. Dima broke into a warm smile, which Rodya felt as the head with black hair moved at his back, trying to "caress" him. "

btw i took this from a translator(with some of my edits) so sorry if something is wrong, it just felt like it did a better job that me😭😭

[anzuhan]

Do you have any 00 characters you like, aside from the innovades and the Trinitys?

yes and im sorry i dont really talk about them or draw them (only sometimes) 😭 i posted a tierlist awhile back & i have no idea where it is . so i will just talk about everything here now :) it will probably be VERY long so i am putting it under a read more. also this will be full of spoilers but i guess that makes sense <- saying if anyone stumbles upon it & is still watching

edit its super long 🙏🙏🙏🙏 HOPE YOU ENJOY READING

my absolute favorites besides the innovades (trinities included) are neil and chris! i did draw neil a few more times than anyone else thats not an innovade, and sadly only drew chris once for her bday 😭 IVE REALLY GOT TO DRAW HER MORE shes so cute and fun to draw..

my opinions of neil were very rocky at the start and i didnt like him AND IT WASNT EVEN HIS FAULT 😭 i first played dwg3 before watching anything gundam related at all (and then started by watching 00); i didnt know which lockon stratos was in dwg3 but he was kind of annoying to me </3 and because i couldnt tell them apart i just supposed it was neil and hereby disliked him 😭 well . that one was lyle but i found that out later ... thruout s1 i slowly got to like neil more and more and by s1 finale i was absolutely crushed . my opinions on tieria may also be foreverchanging, but one thing we share for sure is that we hated neil till he died then just didnt anymore </3

chris i liked a lot from the beginning because of how easygoing and nice she was with everyone, and in more ways than one she reminded me of myself 🥺 i also dont really see very often characters that like coding or technical stuff & are extroverted & like fashion so this felt like a win for me.. finally... some representation (real). this all and her whole thing with weekly crushes is so 😭😭 when she first saw johann and got a pic with him IMMEDIATELY and thought he was hot n then got sad that he was evil and fucked up was so me 🙏 so with how much chris meant to me & how they basically replaced her with mileina that i do not like for variety of reasons was my personal 9/11 for this anime

now besides these two i also hold quite literally majority of all characters in high regard. i love patrick a lot for being funniest guy around & kati his not bayonetta badass wife ... i dont usually do shipping but theyre really so cute together i always go 🥺🥺🥺 when they were just happy together. saji and louise too !!!! the whole story with how their relationship changed and evolved was so great and i was hooked. marie is absolutely one of my favorites in terms of backstory & the peak of s2 to me (yes ... despite the innovators because i didnt like a lot of handling of them 😭) — i really didnt care all that much about soma in s1 and then they elevated that so hard in s2. i am not a person that holds family things in high regard due to my own personal bad experiences, but besides her backstory with allelujah, the scenes between her and becoming smirnov's family were always so dear to me whenever we got them 🥺 this was also really just from a little side thing of the extra s2 chibi animation, but that scenario of them all taking a trip to heaven and marie making andrei talk to his parents and them getting all together was so sweet as well i love loved that one ...

despite it all, i also truly believe graham is best boy of the entire 00 series. this guys so peak i dont even know where to begin; the bond between him and his other squadron members was so good. it was a real shame they kind of had to go 😭 his love for the flags was also so real... and this guys VERY good at what hes doing, like my guy could fight off whole gundams with gn drives in some far underdeveloped flags. i know some people didnt like the turn they went for with him in s2 where he became weeb supreme but i thought it was so funny 🙏 MR BUSHIDO LOVE. he also got a super cool custom ms so i gotta give it to him ... all & all as well, this guy then sacrificed himself, died a hero, and was so cool he just came back to life to become a new meister. how can any other guy in this beat THAT ☝️

for the rest of meisters, i am sorry everyone. i did not care about setsuna that much </3 i acknowledge him and his greatness and how much hes helped multiple people here, but whenever they just wanted to mirror setsuna and saji i always ended up being more interested in saji im sorry 😭 ; allelujah is a little guy i just felt sorry for the entire time for literally everything . all the way from the start from the debacle with tieria that was so crazy to the hallelujah struggles to then having to also struggle with soma 😭 this guys just the real struggler. the supreme struggler of all time. i hope he gets some rest he really needs it asap ; lyle i used to not like because of . how he even started off in the scene with feldt </3 AND I LOVE FELDT like get ur hands off her omg ... but he did grow from then and i think hes pretty epic now, him killing off ali was also super satisfying in the end of it all :)

for the rest of ptolemy, talked briefly about feldt above, i think shes great but also her changing crushes between meisters was so funny 😭 like you go girlie i guess ... ! she tried her best . her holding the crew in such high regards as her own family was very wholesome 🥺 LICHTY 😭 lichty was so funny too and. well. LIKE I GET IT i get the drama that went down in s1 but i wish it didnt have to end like that skllwmegj😭😭😭😭 i wish theyd just have a near death experience and then him and chris could just get to be happy together after but i guess not 😔 sumeragi & kati's intertwined backstories we got to know more of thru s2 were really cool to see, and billy's love for her punched me and kicked me into a wall. this man loved her SO much its unreal . hes such a good guy 😭 (which it kind of ticks me off he ended up with mina ........... LIKE COULD YOU GUYS NOT FIND A MORE NORMAL PERSON FOR HIM 😭 i think he deserved better but thats just my personal opinion ... im sure theres a lot of people out there who want mina right NOW and would disagree. so this ones for u guys . if u think shes epic and cool then i guess he got peak ! good for him) ; other unmentioned members i had no real big opinion on 😭😭😭😭 i sometimes even forget lasse exists i am sorry . hes done nothing wrong just left absolutely no opinion on me 🙇‍♀️

now im not gonna detail THE REST as well but again i literally hold everyone in high or at least neutral regard from ali to whatever the name of the a-laws blond evil guy was im sorry 🙏 the only two i can even say i dislike in the slightest are mileina and alejandro 😭 which is such a duo out of every character in this to tie together . i know . but yeah i hope you enjoyed the sumi rambles 00 NO INNOVADES edition 👍👍 i tried to be as true to myself and my opinions as possible so heres all of them . on paper. digital tumblr paper

[dwarfsized]

tagged by the beautiful and amazing @aevallare thank you!!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

9!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

63,696

3) What fandoms do you write for?

it's all bg3 right now, but I've also written for critical role and the arcana (visual novel)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1 - that's the kind of love ive been dreaming of (bg3, astarion/f!tav)

2- ain't it warming you (the world goin' up in flames) (critical role, jester/caleb)

3- Liebe ist Fürsorge (critical role, jester/caleb)

4- Fighting the Hurricane (critical role, jester/caleb)

5 - true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy (bg3, astarion/f!tav)

5) Do you respond to comments?

yes! i try to do the "comment when you upload the next chapter" thing but sometimes its been a while since the last chapter and i get embarrassed and just respond to everything in one big rush

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

where i left Fighting the Hurricane probably combined with the (checks notes) 1+ year long update hiatus, i am coming back for you baby i promise. i have plans for it. i just. god. so much happened to me right as i was working on it.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of my fic ends happy (this will not always be the case, eventual AA!AU will be. well. i shan't say.) BUT, and this might just be because its my most recent finished work, i think new steps might end off on the most hopeful note.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

this has never happened to me and id love to keep it that way lmao

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes :) the only real posted smut ive got rn is that's the kind of love ive been dreaming of, but i have other smut in the works

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Fighting the Hurricane doesn't count, really, but that's the closest we've got: its a Critical Role/Pacific Rim fusion.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have nooooot, but i am not sure that the way that i write (terrible first draft and then editing for 1000 years) is very friendly to co-writing. I'm not against the idea at all though, its just. you know. i wouldn't want to torture a friend with the everything about me. maybe someday though!!

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

in this house we multiship, peace and love. :) though honestly i made a joke once about retiring kira as an oc after bg3 bc of everything im putting her through after becoming so enamored with kirastarion so maybe that? sorry blorbo from my brain, enjoy the conciliation prize of elf dick.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stares guiltily at Fighting the Hurricane ch 2, languishing on my wip pile. listen, i still fully intend to finish that story. i was doing cool stuff in there. the only problem is that my brain exploded while i was writing ch 1, and this wasnt supposed to be more than 2k words but i am myself, and i didnt use outlines then, so my notes are a mess.

also i cannot possibly underline enough the bit where my brain exploded. this is an exaggeration only in that none of it came out of my head, but i was Not Myself for a Long Time.

16) What are your writing strengths?

i think my internal monologue bangs. this is because i agonize over it.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

moving characters around in the space is like pulling teeth and i feel like a solid 30% of my editing is focused on that. getting someone from point a to point b elegantly and without it feeling like "astarion got up. he moved his feet. he sat down. he looked out the window" makes me feel like walking into the sea

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like it when it makes sense! Why does this character use another language? Does the reader need to know what they're saying? Is the POV character unfamiliar with the language? Does the reader learn anything from this? If you don't have good answers, why do it?

I find tieflings really neat, and bg3 does the typical dnd thing of "tieflings are looked down on," without, like, doing much with tiefling culture. So Ive had Kira use Infernal as a shortcut to create familiarity with other tieflings, and use it to have private conversations bc why would anyone but tieflings and people living in The Hells know that language--this solves some problems for her! And it creates others.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto...... once upon a time i wrote shikamaru/sakura fic. i was going to make a joke about that being my actual first longfic but i just checked and it literally isnt, i worked on it for a year and if you dont count the in-text authors notes (it was a different time) the whole thing is shorter than true colors chapter 4.

can you imagine me, now, updating something for a year and it being less than 11k. lol. lmao, even.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

eldath's mercy is my darling right now who also scares me to death. update coming soon (this week? i hope?)

i will tag @simon-says-nothing and @raccooncrimes and @septemberskye and YOUUUU reading this if you want to do it, tag me if you do!!