#i didnt want this to be sad. im just trying to figure out what kind of man i am and some of that is letting myself like things just because

[dragonwolfe22]

I started feeling bad that I've been super into DC movies and comics this last month, but y'know what? Fuck that. I am living the teenage boyhood I didn't get the first go around.

Comics and superheroes aren't a boy thing, but they weren't really presented as an option for me. So now I'm going to like them in a BOY way and no one can stop me! MUAHAHAHAHA

I'm going to the COMIC BOOK STORE today! I'm going to be a weird little nerd about it! I want batman sheets! And spiderman pajamas!

[mmyneonlights]

i think i need to eat a fucking bullet

[noellefan101]

Not Replaceable

Characters: Alhaitham x GN reader

ft Kaveh and a weighted blanket(bc you can't tell me alhaitham wouldn't sleep with it, and that hes not autistic).

Warnings: not proofread, and definitley ooc but whatever

Note: this is heavily inspired by a fic i saw some months ago, but i cant remember their username and its kinda sad :(

he's been staring at your back for 30 minutes now, you seriously promised it would be dry tomorrow, its the best you can do.

"Haitham.. do you need anything?".

"you already know what i need…".

you looked at the man, and you sweared he looked like a kicked puppy, all because you had to wash his blanket today. you feel sorry for him, but it had to be done.

"yes, i do. but you can't sleep with a," you tried once again to convince him "a big wet piece of cloth" to just try and sleep without it.

"you could also just take multible blankets and stack them, or try to be a normal person like the rest of us" ah, Kaveh walked in, probably to get another cup of coffee, and to annoy Haitham as usual.

"not the same" Alhaitham said almost immediately after Kaveh had spoke, "it doesn't weigh enough, all the ones we have are too light for me to do that" you guess he's right, since it isn't the best to have too many layers of warmth in sumeru's heat.

you and alhaitham dont have that many blankets combined anyway, unless Kaveh woul- "alright! whatever, just dont take all mine like you did last time!" guess he already said no to that option then.

"i didn't take all of yours, just a few, you still had one left" i mean, he is kind of right, as much as you didnt want to agree with that at the moment.

"uggghhh… im going now, solve that yourselves" Kaveh spoke, walking out of the room with a new coffee mug in hand.

"love, are you sure you dont want to just try with the multible blankets?" you wanted to try just one more time, even though you were sure it wasnt going to actually convince him.

"yes" alright, then you dont have any other ideas. so you tried to brainstorm some more, though none would fix the actual problem at hand.

"i could make you some tea? or you could jsut read until you feel tired?" you wanted to help him so bad, but nothing just seemed like it would work. since yours was way too light, and you cant really go out and buy another on eofr him right now.

and his still shouldn't be dry enough to use. "no" he said as you gave out a sigh, you wanted so badly to give up on trying to find a replacement. but you still couldn't let yourself do it, you still wanted to help him actually sleep today.

"are you… sure nothing can work as a replacement, even just for today?" you're sure you looked so defeated at the moment, but it didn't matter now.

"…" silence huh? maybe he's thinking about it, or maybe he gave up as well. you cant really tell, and you're too tired to try understand what's behind those pretty eyes right now.

so you guess you should just-"lay on me" did you hear that right?? "what?" you cant do anything but question him. too focused on figuring what he was trying to do, or if you heard the wrong thing.

"i know you heard me, lay on me" so you weren't just hearing his words incorrectly, "but why would that help?".

"you weigh about enough to work as a weighted blanket" you looked at him surprised, "…excuse me?" you cant help but feel a little annoyed at him. although you knew what he meant know.

"i didn't mean it like that, i swear" he quickly spoke back. coming closer to you, looking worried that he had used the wrong words.

"its okay, im messing with you. i know you wouldn't actually mean it like that" you smiled smugly, letting out a little whimper as he picked you up without warning.

you looked up at him, confused, "i-i," you stuttered out yet couldnt finish the sentence before you felt him pull you in closer to him. "i can walk on my own you know!" it wasnt quite what you had wanted to say, but it would do.

he just looked at you and shrugged then put you gently down on the bed, and then he was laying beside you the moment it had come to you that he put you down.

you both looked right at each other once again, now face to face, in a silence you couldnt quite say was nice but it wasnt unpleasant either. well before he spoke up anyway, "are you going to move or do i have to?".

"huh?" you had already forgot why you were back in your bedroom by now, too focused on his eyes to care at the moment. "okay, i'll lift you up then" oh right, that it why you're here.

"sorry, w-wait atleast give me a warning first!" you wimpered out quickly as he took you up by your torso and put you down onto his chest. "i did give you a warning." you pouted at that.

"not a good enough warning, smartass" you clearly tried to sound stern, as if it mattered at all. but by the way your lips curled up and you just cuddled in closer to him, you clearly didnt mind.

it had been about 10 minutes by now, and you were fast asleep, although alhaitham wasnt quite yet. he was tired, yes, but maybe he had focused too much on you being right there than actually sleeping.

he wasnt complaining, dont get me wrong, but maybe it wasnt the smartest to have you on him when he wasnt suposed to focus on you. you just looked so pretty all curled up on his chest while still trying to cover him up as much as you could, even in your dreams.

he will fall asleep soon, just let him enjoy your sleeping form a little longer.

and yes, he should get a second weighted blanket, but he won't. because he now hopes gets to enjoy a moment like this every time the blanket has to be washed.

thx for reading, this is a very weird whatever but im trying to cook something up i just cant cook rn-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[opal-owl-flight]

For the Future.

Got a new cloud brush that I wanted to test out! Then it became a whole writing spree abt 3's dreams WJEJK. Just A Squid will continue soon.

More deets abt 3s dreams under the cut!

Maybe its bc I was sitting in a conference room earlier today. But I basically asked them about their dreams while there... why they keep doing what theyre doing.

In my minds eye I saw them flying a kite.

“(I want to protect the world. Keep it safe.

…Let it stay safe so the children can continue to do what Im doing now.)”

…but what about you?

“Four wants to become an engineer, and Laika wants to try out the music scene. Me?

My time for that has long gone.”

:(

A soft chuckle. With a hint of yearning, quickly hidden with a gentle smile.

“(Dont feel sad. Ive found purpose in what I do. Im doing it so everyone else can follow their dreams.

Its also a job.

Its okay that I dont have to love it all the time.)"

…if you had the choice to live a different life, would you?

“(…I dont know if I can answer that yet.

If I didnt live the way I have, where would everyone else be?)"

You can still have fun, you know.

“(You see this? This is fun! Watch!)”

and they twirl that fancy kite theyre flying.

“(I made it myself.)"

...the twirling stops, and their eyes kind of mist over. They look down, into the threads they were manipulating.

“(Listen.

I do have a dream. Its to live in a world without war.

…Im doing everything I can to make that come true.)”

and once youve achieved that peace, what then?

The kite twirls again, making a figure 8 over and over. 3 shrugs, eyes following the figure.

“(Maybe Ill fly more kites.)"

------------

3 doesnt have...dreams beyond their captain duties/related to war and if one asks them enough, theyll find out that what 3 does in peaceful times are what they once did in childhood

Clutching onto what little they were allowed to experience; flying kites, singing songs, making art, remembering stories

Its something that hurts so damn much to see,3 clinging on their nostalgic memories and yearning for more of those moments.

They dream for peace, for rest. the reason they clutched on those memories was bc it was the few times they experienced that kind of peace

[starlightazriel]

BAD BOY AZ FINAL PART <3 (I KNOW IM CRYING TOO)

warnings: FLUFF (you're welcome its not easy for me), smut, jealous az, childhood trauma effecting relationships(abandonment issues and overthinking everything), feeling unworthy, lots of time jumps

a/n: im sorry this took so long it shouldn't have because its short :( i struggled greatly. i just wanted to thank you guys for all the love ive received on this series, im just as sad as y'all but all good things must come to an end, i will eventually add additional drabbles for this series too and there's so many other things im working on rn, i hope y'all stick with me and read them i love you, requests are open. <3

additional parts can be found on my azriel masterlist

wc: 2.3k

"You know, I meant what I said the other night," Azriel says, leaning against the counter, his hands on either side of him. Y/n was sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen, her feet dangling as she sat on the counter, her hair was disheveled from sleep, hickeys covered over the one that Lucien had given her, Azriel couldn't bare to keep looking at it, so he'd remedied that the morning after they made love. They were spending time at his house now, her parents weren't coming back until Sunday so they had been at Azriels, fucking, making love, a lot of kissing, more than he had ever done in his life.

Fear gnawed at him, the anxiety was like a rock in his gut. But he ignored it, he was trying to change, trying to embrace other feelings.

"What did you say?" she cocks her head to the side, meeting his gaze, he swallows, his cheeks growing warm.

"I just said that um.." he struggles a little bit, his eyes shifting away from hers, "I want a fresh start with you.. I want-" he cuts himself off, feeling embarrassed. "Just want you to get everything the right way, the way that you deserve... Im probably not going to be any good at it, but I want to try," he swallows again, his eyes lifted back to hers, his chest warms at the smile on her face and he can't help but return it.

"Az I would love that," she breaths out. They hadn't really talked about anything in the past few days. He hated that the reason was because she was afraid to scare him away again, afraid that if she spoke about things that made him uncomfortable that she would lose him again. He hated that she had to be afraid about anything, she didnt realize that he wouldn't leave, even if he pushed her away. He physically couldn't stay away from her.

He was struggling for sure, especially with things like that, it made him feel even more like he didnt deserve her. He didnt deserve her kindness and her understanding, her love.

"So... See a movie with me tomorrow," he suggests, licking over his bottom lip.

He knew there was still things to worry about. His plans after graduation, which now seemed almost impossible, earning the approval of her parents who never seemed to like him much, even the thought of the approaching summer stressed him out. But right now.. Right now he just wanted to show her what she was truly worth, make her feel the way that he should have from the very beginning.

"I would love that too," she grins back at him, leaning her hands back on the counter, her feet swinging, gently tapping the cabinets. He wished he could freeze the moment forever, just there with her, in his kitchen, his t-shirt, oversized on her, draped over that beautiful body. And she was his, she loved him. "Az the pancakes," she reminds him, and her words cause him to snap out of his haze.

"Oh shit," he turns, smoke curling up from the pan. "I burnt them butterfingers, you distracted me," he smiles sheepishly pulling the pan off of the stove.

"Azriel, I didn't do anything," she laughs, shaking her head. "You should have just let me make them, I told you," she smirks, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You don't have to do anything to always have my attention," and it was true, every time she was in his presence she consumed it. He figured, saying things like that were easier than saying I love you. She still hadn't said it again, he didnt blame her. He knew how she felt though, even if she was afraid of scaring him off again.

Her eyes gleamed at the statement, like it had warmed her insides. He blushed, when had he started getting flustered? "What are we going to eat?" she asks, a small pout forming on her lips.

"I should just eat you for breakfast," he says, closing the space between them so he was standing in front of her now , he rested his hands on her knees, slowly started sliding up, his fingers pressing gently. She bites her lip, her eyes drifting over his body carefully like she was trying to remember each and every one of his tattoos. She giggles softly when he burys his face in her neck, pulling her to the edge of the counter. "Shower with me," he mumbles softly against her neck, placing soft wet kisses there.

She giggles again quietly, nodding her head and he picks her up, carrying her to the bathroom. He sets her on her feet and kisses her forehead again, before slowly pulling his shirt that she was wearing over her head. He bites his lips softly, watching her breasts spring free, he hums and turns her around, bending down and slowly pulling her panties off, marveling up at her beautiful body. I love you. He didn't say it out loud though. He turns the water on and checks the temperature before gently tapping her ass as if to push her along into the shower. She laughs again. "Thanks Az," she hums softly, stepping under the warm water. "But don't forget I'm still hungry," she adds, glancing back at him, the curtain only half closed.

His lips twitch as he looks at her hungrily, pulling his own pants and socks off so he could join her.

"I gotchu baby," he nods, stepping into the shower with her. "Cereal remember?" he mumbles and she scrunches her nose at him.

"Maybe we should just go out for breakfast Az," she laughs and shakes her head at him, he smirks down at her shrugging his shoulders. He uses a washcloth, squeezing soap over her and watching it run down her perfect little perky breasts. "You look so good," he whispers, his eyes finding hers again. It was getting easier... The intimacy, the eye contact. The more time they spent, the easier it seemed to get. Azriel picked her up again, and she squealed.

"Az, I swear if you drop me," she breaths out, he could feel her heart pounding, their chests pressed together.

"I would never butterfingers," he mumbles softly, pressing more kisses to her wet skin. "Im gonna fuck you now," he mumbles, pressing her body against the wall of the shower her back arches at the coolness of the tile and she moans softly. "Put it in baby," he grunts softly, his lips everywhere, needy and desperate. He would never be able to get enough of her. Her breathing was heavy as she reached between the two of them, her hands sliding between their slippery bodies, no space between them. She pulls at his cock and he lets out a small sigh of relief as he buries himself inside her, filling her all the way up.

"Oh," she gasps out, her head tilting back against the tiles, he holds her up, burying himself inside of her over and over again.

"Fuckkk," he moans into her ear, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and desperate with each stroke. "You feel so good," he whispers into her ear, his voice husky and needy. She presses her bare chest against him, moaning again her release shaking through her whole body. Azriel groans softly at the feeling of her walls fighting around him before he spills himself inside her. They stayed like that for a while, water running over their faces, between their bodies, breaths heavy, chests heaving.

"How'd I get so lucky?" Azriel breaths out before gently setting her back down on her feet.

"You're not just lucky Az, you deserve this. Everyone deserves to be happy."

-

Azriel had been quiet since he picked me up from my house for out very first date as... A couple?

I could tell he was more nervous around me now. Like he was more careful, like he wanted to do everything perfectly for me. He would get flustered and shy any time he dared to say something that was sweet and out of character for him. It warmed me to my very bones.

"So this is your first real date?" Azriel asks, breaking the silence between us, his spliff hanging lazily from his lips. "Shot?" he asks after, offering me his flask, I take a small one before handing it back. We were in the parking lot at the cinema, Azriel had insisted that we had to pregame before going in.

"Thank you," I say and smile, our eyes meeting. "I mean technically yes it is, unless you count-"

"Count what?" he interrupts me, his expression shifting slightly. My cheeks burned as I recalled the night that I had shared with Lucien.

"I was just gonna say unless you count double dates," I add softly, his jaw flexes, and he looks away from me, staring forward out the windshield.

"Almost forgot about that tool," he mumbles, taking another long drag of the spliff, I watch him, pulling my lip between my teeth. Hes silently fuming, not looking at me, his jaw flexing and unflexing. "I should knock him out the next time I see him," Azriel shrugs, his eyes still trained on the windshield in front of him.

"I didnt actually fuck him Azriel... We just.." I trail off, remembering the night well. It hadn't been that long ago...

"Spare me the details," he mutters, shrugging his shoulders. "Lets go in," he opens his door, getting out of the car. I sigh softly, my eyes narrowing slightly at him.

"Must you always drink?" I ask quietly, watching as he finished off the flask and shoved it in his pocket.

"Not always," he shrugs and reaches his hand out for me, I give him a look but take his hand anyway.

"It's my first real date with someone that I love," it was the first time I voiced the word since that night I had been drunk on his chest months ago. I felt his hand tighten around mine, and he turned his head back, giving me a smile.

-

"Fuck you guys doing?" Azriel walks in to Rhys' and Cass' apartment, his hand in y/n's, pulling her behind him. She was nervous, he could tell. They were older than Azriel, which was mainly what she had been worried about, she had told him earlier that s he thought they would just think she was a baby. Azriel had assured her that they wouldn't care, though he knew they would comment on it later. Maybe even poke fun at him for it.

"Not a damn," Cass answers, his eyes landing on y/n, his brows raise as he surveys her, stopping at her hand tucked neatly away in Azriels, he had never seen that before. "Who's this?" he nods his head, beaming at her, she swallows, biting down softly on her lip.

"This is y/n," Azriel says casually. He hadn't spoken a word about her to them yet, he figured they would put it together, that this was the exact reason he had been behaving the way he was recently. "Y/n, meet my brothers, Rhys and Cass," Azriel points to both of them and she waves, smiling sheepishly as she takes in their appearance.

"Welcome y/n, I don't think we ever thought this day would come," Rhys chimes in finally, Cass begins snickering from his seat. "And this is your..." Rhys trails off, his eyes landing back on Azriel, Cass is grinning stupidly, expectantly in the corner waiting to see what Azriel was going to say, almost like a teen girl watching a reality show. This was new for both of them, Azriel had never brought a girl to meet them before, not since maybe middle school, but that didnt count.

"She's my baby," Azriel shrugs casually, his ears were hot, he knew they would poke relentless fun at him for ages.

"Your baby?" Rhys repeats, his tone laced with amusement, Cass is snickering again from his corner, a pause on the spliff he was rolling as he listened.

"He means to say his girlfriend," y/n chimes in, Azriel could tell she felt comfortable here, no more shyness in sight. Rhys and Cass were like that though, their vibe was just... Easy. All of their eyes snap to her and she smiles cheekily. "But hes absolutely petrified of the word," she tacks on, Azriel feels his cheeks burn and he shoots her a warning look. He'd get her back later. It wasn't that he was petrified of it... It was just that he couldn't get used to it.

"I like her Az, keep her," Cass is still chuckling to himself, marveling slightly. He never thought he'd see the day Az would bring home a girl.

"You two are embarrassing."

-

The pair were sitting on the beach, the warm summer air kissing their skin, the only sound was the ocean and the fair they had just come from off in the distance.

Azriel turned, admiring the way her hair ruffled in the breeze, in this moment, he didnt care about anything. Neither of them did. Azriel had decided not to move away, he was looking for a real job, hunting for an apartment that would be close enough to town that they could still be together... He knew there was still things to figure out, winning over her parents, that were nice enough but still looked down on him as if he would never be good enough for their daughter, the fact that she would eventually graduate, probably go off to college...

She wasnt worried though. She loved him enough to know that no matter what happened, or where they were... That nothing could break the bond they had built.

"Y/n, I love you," the words slipped out as Azriel gazed upon her, feeling so whole, so free yet so safe at the same time. He couldn't help himself. She deserved to know, anyway.

Her heart warmed, she turned toward him, leaning in, embracing the feel of his body against hers.

"I love you so much Azriel," she responds softly, their eyes fixed on one anothers. It was so easy now. For both of them.

"Thank you baby," he whispers softly, his throat bobbing. "Thank you for never giving up."

-

a/n: * not proof read yet, also im sorry its short don't hate me or kill me, i tried to warn y'all im trash at writing anything besides angst, i seriously struggled writing this because i feel like i forced it when I succk omg plus i feel like their story could have been over with the last part but i wanted to give you guys more you deserve all the fluff after everything we've been through. so here is your happy ending, i love you, stay tuned for what im working on next. <3

[idontego]

We Should Make Up | Kaji x Reader

Summary: This is kind of a part 2 to the break up headcannon i wrote. Kaji sees you entering a bar and can’t help but seek you out and try to make amends with you after your breakup.

A/n: This was so rushed bc i have somehwere to be so i will more than likely go back and make adjustments to this! Let me know what you think! ALSO TOMORROW’S EPISODE WE GET TO SEE OUR MAN AGAIN IM SOOOO EXCITED!!!!🤍

Warnings: breakups, alcohol, suggestive toxic relationship habits, co-dependency, swearing

It was out of the norm for you to go out, and by go out i mean bar hopping, drinking in public places with your friends or worse- strangers. It had been a few months since you and Kaji split up and as much as you didn’t want to, your friends finally convinced you to go out with them. You wanted to hurl at the idea of Kaji finding out about you going out and even worse, drinking on top of it. It was one thing that he would be upset over, strictly because he always felt the need to watch you and be with you out in public only to protect you and it was another thing, because he imagined how easily you could be taken advantage of if you were intoxicated. Just the thought of these things could easily set him off.

You entered the bar wearing a black mini dress with a corset top, squeezing your rib cage and extenuating your breasts and a regular pair of heels that were semi comfortable, nothing over the top. You didn’t know where this night would end but your friends were sure they’d help you make the most of it.

Meanwhile, Kaji sat in his room preparing to patrol and do his almost daily routine of also checking up on you from afar-watching. He was walking down the same street you were on and was concentrating on individuals around him-scanning the area for any threats, and that’s when he saw you. His eyes immediately widened and his jaw dropped almost to the floor as his lollipop hit the ground. He was shocked seeing you in such close proximity to him and you were wearing that?! And you were here?! But you looked so good, so tempting. His eyes examined your figure until he shook his head and ripped open another lollipop wrapper, tossing it in his mouth. His face of shock quickly turned into anger. He looked left, right, and left again to see if anyone he knew was about to see him enter the same building you were in. Kaji did not go out, ever. He didnt like the people, didnt like the setting, didnt like the idea of sweaty shit faced people rubbing up so close to each other, especially you.

His eyes met yours amongst the crowd- if looks could kill, he would be the embodiment of it. You’ve never seen him glare this hard before. Or at least not at you. “Oh shit.” You mumbled under your breath. You swiftly turned your head around in the opposite direction, which was a sad attempt at playing off seeing him-hoping he didn’t recognize you.

To only make matters worse, when you turned around, you bumped into a guy’s chest causing him to spill his drink. “I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh.” You apologized.

“No worries! I’ll just get another one. Why don’t you come with me to get something for yourself as well.” He said with a big grin on his face.

“Uh, sure!” You replied following him. Could this be your escape from Kaji’s glare? Did he lose you in the crowd by now?

You approached the bar and waited on your drinks when you heard a gruff voice behind you and their body heat against your back. “Hey!” Kaji said with the same glare on his face.

“She has a boyfriend ya’ know.” He proceeded

“Oh, really?” The guy questioned.

“She does.” Kaji confirms. Kaji already made his point very clear to this man and you and his stance and the look on face had ‘do not fuck with me’ written all over it.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to disappear but this was actually happening.

“I dont actually.” You blurted out. “In fact-“ Kaji cut you off grabbing your waist and leading you out side of the bar.

“What the hell are you doing her-“

“Did you really think finding some random drunk guy here would solve all of your problems? What were you thinking? Did he try to get with you?”

“Kaji, that’s not what i was hoping would happen. The girls wanted me to go out with them just for tonight because I’ve declined every other time because it still just didn’t feel right to do something like this even though we aren’t together. You know just as much as i do that i never liked going out or drinking.”

“This dress looks really good on you by the way. It’s a shame i never got to see you in it til’ now.” He said rolling his eyes and completely disregarding what you said.

You blushed at his compliment and your heart began to flutter again. Gosh.. why does he have to have this effect on you. “Kaji, we need to talk.” You said, looking at the ground.

He lifted up your chin, so you’d look him in the eyes for what he was about to say. “I agreeI just want to start off by saying that you don’t know how hard these past few months have been for me. Losing you was one of the hardest things for me. I didn’t know how to cope. My friends tried to help me, but i pushed them away. Everythin’ everyday made me think of you and i was completely consumed with the idea that you were gone for good. I was obsessed with the thought of why we ended things the way we did and I felt like i couldn’t protect you as much as I’d like which drove me even more crazy. I lashed out on anyone that we’d get in fights with-exceeding my limits and going over board because i wanted to make sure people like them never got a hold of you. There’s so much more but i-“

You cut him off with a kiss and your eyes were filled with tears. You had the most intense feeling of regret and sorrow for him and also the mourning of your relationship. You wanted him back. You needed him just as much as he needed you. You wanted to make things right. He rested his hands on either side of your waist and you kissed you back-matching your passion.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” You pulled away from the kiss wiping your tears.

“It’s fine. missed you, y’ know?”

“I can’t ever lose you again. I knew we’d come back tho.” You managed to smile and even let out a giggle while saying.

[dirtreally]

The ideal toy/action figure is

1) a robot: even if its a really good action figure of like a person or whatever theres always gonna be some disconnect because you cant fucking hide the joints man. And even if you can people just do not articulate like that. If you move your arm your body stretches too. If your toy is a robot it becomes way more convincing as a gestalt being

2)poseable as fuck: rheres so many insanely detailed figurines of like batman or whatever the fuck and hes got bulge definition and kevlar and whatever the fuck but hes a-posingand you can only rotate the arms. Whats the fucking point at that point man.

2.5) it should specifically also have an ab crunch. Ive seen third party transformers that can do an ab crunch while rotating the upper and middle body sections independently and that shit is crazyyyyyyy. It for real adds so much life and presence to poses. The bastard thing about normal hasbro transformers is that they will never ever ever ever make one that has an ab crunch and it makes me so so sad

3) it should transform and/or combine: u gotta give me something to do with it man. Tangentially related but city/base transformers suuuuuck.

Uh huh yeah man thats a city

3.5) it cant be too big or small: if its too big then playing with it becomes insanely unwieldy. The big transformer toys have also had historically awful articulation because of their size. If the toy is too small Its Fine but like deluxe - voyager - leader class ones always feel the best in hand ino. This is why i do not fuck with diaclone.

4) it has to come preassembled it cant be some model kit shit. Sorry im not a real one. Im not about that life. I built a cool (NON GUNDAM!!!!) robot earlier this year and i attached his arm wrong and didnt realise until after i cemented it together and im still recovering. Generally speaking model kits are also mostly hollow inside so theyre less weighty and feel less good to play with.

5) it cant be TOO stylised. This is probably the most contentious one since this is more just a result of me not being The Target Audience but like. Transformers animated optimus prime should not fucking exist in the material realm.

This thing doesnt want to exist. Of course theres the inverse of this where they try way too hard to make it realistic and its like a hypergreebled thing but like thats basically a problem only a specific genre of third party figurines have. The bayformers toys were really good imo cuz they had a lot of detail but still felt very much like A Touy

FINAL THOTS

Every night i see them in my dreams

I know one of them doesnt have an ab crunch but squeezeplay more than makes up for it with the headmaster gimmick and the insane fucking alt mode. Sometimes Just Balling Out Works. This is why i have injector and hes one of my favourite designs transformers has ever done. They for real need to do more shit like him and less Another Guy That Transforms Into A Car But This Time Its 2% More Show Accurate. Its not like i deliberately only fuck with transformers that transform into animals BUT they gotta start finding weirder vehicles to make these from. A helicopter made out of rocks does not count.

I know theres other transforming toy franchises but theyre always either some boutique shit where each toy is 200 dollars or sentai. Which has the problem of not having a lot of articulation (this is fine because these are meant for like 8 year olds but also i straight up dropped boonboomger because every combination theyve given the robot has sucked ass and not even in a fun way like zyuohger). I know theyre doing smp minipla versions that are way more poseable now but again. I dont want to do model kits.

I also really fucking love it when a mecha has like an insane number of guys combining into it. Probably the one time where i will forgive a lack of poseability. Shout outs to go-onger engine oh g12 and boukenger ultimate daibouken (though i feel like this one kind of has a lot less visual impact than the has-1-less-guy super daibouken). The kingohger mecha was a huge disappointment because they wanted to make him one of those guys but by the time they actually combine all 20 bugs literally like a third of them are attached to the back. I feel like relegating a bunch of your guys to Backpack Duty is super cheating. Also the regular nonsupercombined kingohger mecha has spiders on his dick.

[dnpbeats]

No but actually on the topic about the fuchsia phone case joke. I sometimes find it so hard to reconcile the images and videos of them then, with a)the two idiots we know now, but also just the two people we now understand them to have been at the time.

I see dan making a slightly off colour joke about phils phone case looking gay, and then i think the scared closeted 20yr old, trying to desperately figure himself out, and qhen i try to match them up, in some ways it makes so much more sense and in others it feels like my brain is short-circuiting.

I guess I just always wonder what those jokes and comments actually meant to them at the time. When I first started watching them, way back in 2015, I always understood the jokes they made as being in the same context as when my straight peers/friends made them. Misinformed but not malicious. As coming from the perspective of a straight person who didnt really think about what they were saying. But now obviously we have context, and now im a full raging lesbian myself, who similarly made gay jokes/comments when I was still in the closet, and I'm just starting to realise what mustve been going on in their heads. Like, im not saying the fuschia phone case comment was some desperate desire to be free and open or whatever, it was a joke and it wasnt a particularly deep one, but there is an added layer to it. Dnp laughed for more than just the fact that the 'fuchsia phone case looks gay'. They laughed bc they knew who they were, they were making fun of the whole 'having a purple phone case means your gay' concept in the first place, and they were just two closeted 20-somethings, existing in a world that wasnt ready for them yet. And yeah it was just a stupid joke, but thinking about it too much has made me a little emotional so here we are.

Hi!!! I totally understand this. It’s been wild going back and watching their content with the knowledge we have now. Like I, as most people did, presumed they were queer before they came out. But it’s absolutely a different experience thinking that and knowing that. While I was watching ditl it hit me that like. They were a closeted couple while filming that, and that’s not speculation, Dan confirmed that. And it kind of hit me in a way I can’t describe, but honestly part of it did make me sad. Just like, knowing what it must’ve been like for them. And I totally get what you’re saying about the gay joke. Like for them obviously part of it was like “oh haha making a gay joke when we’re gay!” But it’s also like… making a gay joke because you’re closeted and that’s as close as you can get to publicly being yourself. And even then, whatever the exact joke was, they cut out part of it. Which honestly was probably a good call lmao but, yeah. I agree that specific joke wouldn’t have been some like grand moment in their lives or that it’s that deep at the end of the day. But it’s just knowing that things/jokes like that were probably a regular occurrence and for a while that was like what they had yk? Making gay jokes and then cutting them out, because they didn’t want them to be misconstrued but maybe bc they hit a little too close to home

And now look at them. Joking about eating jizz on the gaming channel for all the world to see

[artisticmenace]

Hii!! I keep forgetting but I always wanted to ask! On your intro page(?) it mentioned a project of yours called ‘those days’?

I’m REEEEAAALLY interested on learning more about it!!! Lore drop?

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR CENTURIES

so basically Those Days is a comic that i am currently making. its about two guys, Scott and Rodney who are both 58 and live in the midwest(because i do). Scotts sister Deb has just passed away so his great nephew, Danny comes down. The story is them telling him(and this chick named Candy, which im still figuring out how to introduce) about their life and how they met. I have over fifty issues written, but none released because after a while, it was kind of a chore, and i wasn't sure if anyone was interested! so THANK YOU SOOOOO MMUCH for asking about it!

Scott is based off of those "bad" kids that are actually really nice and are sort of vigilantes. Rodney is an easy bullying victim and even though he could totally do something about it, he doesnt.

this is very much a story about people and what they are and how your initial judgment is not always the correct assumption. its also very much how the key word in the last part of that is ALWAYS. its about life.

ill leave some character intros under the cut i case you want those too bc i could blab all day about them. scott and rodney may or may not be my sons. my boys. there will be art too. probably silly art. mostly the main group of characters. not their families though because i have barely drawn them(character design is tricky)

if you want to see all my silly drawings, they'll be tagged #those days comic or with the characters full name. but yeah THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT THAT!!! I HAVE MOTIVATION NOW!!!! ok character rant under the more heeeheee

This is Scott

Scott has quite possibly the worst rbf ever and he looks like a scary mean guy. he steals his moms makeup because he can and he wears black eyeshadow 24/7. in reality, hes very nice and also has depression. hes a male MANIPULATED and has 6 semi terrible ex gfs. he is sort of homophobic at the beginning which is important to his lore. but even being a sad son of a bitch he can still beat the hell out of someone with a baseball bat. which leads to my next point. hes an adrenaline junkie. another design thing im slowly figuring out is simplifying his tattoos. theyre all on his torso and theyre all flowers. he loves flowers.

ROOOODNEYYYYY!!!!!

a lot of the time im trying to figure out how to draw him better tbh. Rodney has a prey animal stare. and he behaves much the same. hes pretty chubby but hes also fairly strong. he is very much a victim of child abuse but instead of becoming a bully, he just kinda gives up. he doesnt really have motivations outside of survival and hes not sure why. in fact, the primary reason he stuck around scott after meeting him was because scott believed him immediately after he said he didnt do something and made him feel safe. under the surface of being a prey animal, hes also incredibly angry. angry about a lot.

LUCY CAMPBELL EVERYBODY!!!

i dont draw her a lot...

Lucy is scotts lesbian ex gf and best friend ever. she kind of pushes them together because she knows too much. shes incredibly easy to talk to and people would confess to basically anything to her. design wise she also has a terrible rbf and DONT BE FOOLED!!! SCOTT STOLE HER LOOK WITH THE EYESHADOW!!! she also has lots of tattoos and actually gave scott all of his.

JORDAN AND DIANE (theyre kind of a set)

again. barely draw them and diane has had a few revisions.

diane and jordan are very much gay and in love. diane's family is like. the only immigrant family for miles. shes very nice but fairly cynical. shes very used to the notion that she has to find her way in the world and that if she doesnt fight, she wont survive. jordan is anxious as hell and dianes sister HATES her because she knows that jordan is a lesbian and is in love with diane. jordan also doesnt know why or how shes alive.

edward! ive only drawn him once.

eddie is lucys adopted brother. hes brilliant and silly. also gay as hell. idk if youve realized but almost none of these people are straight. edward isnt a very developed character because he is very much a supporting static character.

clyde and parker

clyde and parker are the two main members of scotts gang. its not really a gang but it might as well be. they dont really become important until the whole 1992 thing. youll find out. clyde was scotts best friend for a long time before he started hanging out with rodney. they have some very complicated history. diversity win! clyde finds out that he, too, is bisexual and gets with eddie! i dont know if ill wver bring that up in comic.

so thats basically the main cast of characters youll see in the comic. THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! SORRY I YAPPED SO MUCH HAHA.

the comic will be release on a separate blog called @thosedayscomic there isnt really much on there except a mini comic that takes place around 1996, scott and rodneys thirties. its just scott getting home from work and going to sleep haha.

[losersroom]

could u directors cut the conversation of gay90s where it's like "I’ve been thinking about April. You know, before I left." to "“Absolutely,” says Brock, who has never understood anything less in his life"....whatever pieces of that that u want to!! i just love that conversation and would love to hear ur behind the scenes!!!!

GOD so like. alright that whole fic grew out of a conversation me and g were having Forever ago about this post, particularly the second point. and i was like, oh hey, that reminds me of this story i wanted to write about brock going to the gay 90's. and then i sat on it for like two more months.

so the important thing to take away from this is that it was only ever supposed to be that first part, where brock and jonas run into each other and then jonas sucks him off and they kind of subtly agree to not talk about it, the end. but like, i am at heart a gigantic sap and i wrote up to there and realized i couldn't leave it on the final line of. it can never happen again. because i too have been gay and closeted and sad about it, and i didnt want to give all that to brock.

(the other thing, which you didn't ask about but here it is, is like. a lot of these thoughts and attitudes i gave brock in that fic were just... how i felt, about myself and queerness and everything, at age 21/22, born and raised in the midwest. and like obviously i grew up and got over it and i'm extremely queer and trans and married now, and i want to think, hey, in this universe i'm constructing, it can get better for brock, too. we just have to get him there.)

anyway i had to then construct like. a narrative throughline from blowjobs to some sort of mutual understanding. ive said this before but i always think it's fun in these things to like, present brock's opinions and perspective and expectations and just pepper in around the edges hints of what jonas is actually thinking and feeling and doing, which. doesn't always line up. and then make people guess what's going on in his head, same way as brock is guessing. what i HOPE people took from that scene is that, you know, that whole summer brock spent thinking about jonas, jonas was thinking about him, too. trying to work out in his head if brock being there was a one-time thing or if there's an opportunity to have something more. and i DONT want to get into whether or not i think jonas actually has a history in this continuity with any of the people that brock imagines he might, because i think it's more fun to leave people room to draw their own conclusions, but he definitely has more experience with Being Queer In The NHL than brock does, and navigating that world, and being just. careful about it. exercising caution. he might want to mess around with brock again, but he has to approach it with discretion, you know, in case brock... Isn't into that. (but in my heart, because i'm me, i also like to think that jonas is interested because it's brock, not just because he's there and potentially the only one of their teammates available. u know. in my heart everybody's in love, im a romantic, i can't help it.)

so that scene was just intended as like. connective tissue. but it wound up being my favorite part of the entire fic lol. just the... palpable awkwardness of trying to figure out if a guy is interested in you. being on the same page without really being on the same page. and then jonas choosing to just hang out awkwardly and watch a terrible movie at 2 am with brock not just because he cant think of another way to extract himself from the situation now that its clear theyre not going to fuck, but because he sincerely likes spending time with this idiot, lmao. that's Real. that's a move i would have done, when i was dating.

[frecklystars]

my chest is aching and i am so sad bc i miss my starlight so much. but at the same time my heart is so full. i just spent almost seven hours with my friends. seven hours! i told them how ive been feeling and they didnt let me hold back. i felt like they were physically helping me to carry the burdens ive been holding by myself. they reassured me about my starlight multiple times, and half of them arent even self shippers, but they empathized with me heavily. they all held me when i cried and they told me it is going to be okay. not just about the grief of missing my F/Os ive lost, but just, in general, that everything will be okay. everything. and two of those friends who were present, i genuinely think they're two of the smartest people i have ever met in my life. they spent a long ass time analyzing my comfort characters, saying "okay logically, realistically, [F/O] would comfort you and love you, and here is why, and here is how. and no, they wouldn't harm you or manipulate you or betray you, and here is the logical reason why." if they say i'm gonna be okay, then... who am i to question or doubt them?

they also spent an hour helping me figure out how to print edible ink/glitter onto wafer paper so i would be able to bake heart-shaped cookies for my barbie/ken anniversary and transfer photos of them onto the cookies! they were so excited to hear about my anniversary coming up and they thought it would be so cute if i baked for my sweethearts ;u; they know how important it is to me because they know it's been 2 years since i've celebrated any F/O anniversary. and any time i got weepy they'd immediately hold me. and when i'd try to apologize, they'd refuse to even let me say a word, telling me to vent. so i vented for maybe a minute and cut myself off and they were like "no that's not all of it. keep going" and every few minutes when i'd stop myself, or try to downplay my feelings and change the topic, they'd say "no. no, you're not done. we know you've been through way more shit than that. keep talking, come on, we're here. you're not burdening us, we promise, keep talking keri." until i finally let everything out and they all held me and let me cry and rubbed my back. told me my F/Os would never harm me and why. told me how my IRL and online friends would never harm me, how they completely understand what im going through bc they've been through the same exact things as me. told me how barbie and ken are still here for me and how starlight is still here for me and how they're here for me...

i feel so sad yet so comforted at the same time. ive cried so much today but i cried surrounded by people who held me and made me feel genuinely listened to and cared for. and during the times when we werent venting, we were exchanging art, we were laughing, i dont think ive laughed like that in a while. one friend in that group stayed an extra three hours just because we were having so much fun together and we didn't want to sleep yet. she's one of the most fun and caring and kind people i've ever met. i got her hooked onto driver, and i'm pretty sure she's gonna get me hooked on the vampire from bg3 one of these days haha

celebrating my anniversary with barbie and ken is going to feel really bittersweet, but ive planned a lot. im going to really allow myself to feel loved that day and i think ill feel even more loved because those cookies are going to be made with the people who love me and who have been protecting me and promising me theyre always going to make sure i feel safe and secure with them. if i can feel this way with IRL people who i trust, i can feel this way with F/Os again too. yeah, even the ones that are triggers, i will reclaim them too. i know the love has to still be there somewhere, even if i dont feel it, even if im scared and numb and bitter. it takes time and it takes work but mlp was right bro... friendship really is magic and i know if i have them with me im gonna be ok. ;-; wah. im gonna burst into tears again augh. god. ok i better try to sleep. goodnight ilu

[sirensea14]

Now listen 'ere partner, I'mma need that list or mayhem songs 🤠 also I'd love to know more, I've always loved weird ships that come out of nowhere with little to no possibility of it even being considered ( evident by my Marcus x cup ship, I actually don't know where that one came from) and I always love learning about them and why they happened :33

Wait-wait-wait--WHAT??!! SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THERES SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO SHIPS MARCUS AND CUPHEAD? 😨 Now thats... quite cursed... didnt even know that exists...

But anyway here's the songs with some explanation

Bendy songs:

Instruments of Cyanide (DAGames)

My favorite bendy song, i had different versions of this song as an animatic for inky mystery (i want to animate it but i dont have enough skills to do it yet and its quite long) but there's this one particular version in my head where in WitchBrew was singing chorus 1, Mayhem and Not-Cup had their hands as if spinning the cog with Cuphead and Holly on it.

This is the art for it.

Behind the curtain (squigglydigg)

(Watch the mv first so u can get what im saying lol)This one is where Cuphead is henry and alice angel was holly-turning-to-mayhem. Mayhem taunts cuphead about the fact that he didnt manage to save holly from the cog

Alice's Tango (You will be mine) by chi chi

Literally just Mayhem dancing tango with Not-cup. He might be newly possessed since i imagined this with him having a bitter expression. (Compared to the art ones where he is smiling af lol) But yea, but him frowning or smiling and dancing with mayhem is still him dancing with mayhem, no matter whoch expression you or i choose lol

All eyes on me (squigglydigg's verison)

I love the og one, Or3o's version, but the og one's for sarah, it had some sweet evil girl tone in it. Whereas Squigglydigg's ver had Alice with a kind of that evil woman voice which is suiting mayhem. Its about her capturing the questers, tying them to a chair and make them watch her sing as they show her that they suppressed her from the cog. Cuphead manages to escape (Oh no no no no babe, hey!;- this is the part of the song where she caught cuphead loose from his ties) and i then she becomes insane as she sing and captures him back while pointing at him, blaming him for uhh everything...? *shrugs* lol

Are you proud of me now? (DAGames)

Ah yes, also one of my favorite songs. This is about holly and cuphead pulling the cog in replacement of audrey and the ink machine in DAGames mv. They bury the pressure that is put on them the the bg figures (Holly: bendy, fanny and cuphead. Cuphead: vicious,fanny, holly and mayhem) and then Mayhem is trying to pull Cuphead into madness when a memory ball revealed that holly is mayhem that is fully influenced by the cog. Cuphead back steps as mayhem is trying to get at him.

Lemme tell ya bud, giving this into detail is quite hard, but i told ya this the best that i can

Now onto the non-bendy songs!

Show yourself (frozen 2)

Hehe, quite weird to see a disney song here eh? XD but basically, this song is about Holly discovering the powers of the cog and some runes in some kind of old hidden Micco Cave. She followed the light where it leads her to Lukahd singing her and transforming her into Mayhem. The questers appeared at the end of the song and Mayhem raind down a cloud of runes she summoned. Cuphead was left flabbergasted at what happened. Alice's angel runes and bendy's demon magic protects them from the attack.

A sad song (we the kings)

This one is based from the Gala heartbreak. Holly goes into full mayhem which makes cuphead heartbroken as she shows bloodlust. But we also get to see Holly's pov which is cuphead laugh off and having fun with fanny and walking away from her as they talk.

And heres the most heartbreaking part; mayhem holds cuphead in a chokehold with her magic as she floats on her broom. Cuphead looks at her with teary eyes, but Mayhem showed no remorse. She was smiling ear to ear as she watched him in pain. Her memory of being holly and messing with the jokester cuphead is vanishing. She chose to ignore those aching memories because of the pain he caused.

Enchanted (taylor swift)

Aint a swiftie but ngl this song is amazing. Perfect for colly heartbreak. Again, this is based from the gala. Also goes along with the storyline of A Sad Song. But this is more on holly's pov tho. This also includes some moments from the gala, when she spied on the cupbros (cuphead hung her on a tree) etc. and then shifts to mayhem attacking cuphead with regrets carved on his glassy eyes.

All of this is kinda hard to get into detail, i tried my best and thats it. Hope u understand my explanations😅

Meanwhile, heres a WitchBrew song but them in a fight:

Devil's Gambit (fnf: indie cross)

Yes, you read that right, an fnf song XD

This one's cool cuz i imagine Notcup having a bit of characteristics from Nightmare Cuphead's form (indie cross).

Kind of like this.

I imagine him assisting Mayhem of defeating the Questers cuz they were on a hunt for them during the song. Mayhem unleashing her most horrifying abilities and Cuphead shooting blazing hot pink bullets. He still has all of the potion bullets like the chaser, lobber and peashooter etc, its just in pink.

Or possibly theyre fighting sarah, instrument boris and the night terror cuz sarah considered mayhem (and possibly notcup) as anomalies.

Welp, i think ive got it all covered up lol. A LOT was running in my head back then when i was a silent fan.

Holy cuss its 11:30 pm XD i should wash myself now cuz its getting quite late (imstillnotsleepyhelpandimhungry)

Im still wondering how tf did someone got the nerve to ship marcus and cuphead💀

[hellonerf]

OHH same anon as lasg time!!! now rhat we have confirmation of relationships can we maybe get a list of em?

OK... i will try my best... keep in your mind i am ame guy i always think about ame its a torturous existence but i will use this opportune to explain my 2ptalia. i wont make a list cz thats hard so i'll just write as much as i can. long paragraphs here we go

2p fra and 2p eng live in the manor and he's the head of the household there (of like two people lol). 2p eng plays the role of a stay at home mother and 2p fra the father. years back meri and nada lived there as the kids. 2p eng likes playing house but he wants full control of the house so its suffocating for the others. meri especially had always needed particular kinds of help and rejected alot of 2p england's ways. but 2p eng was also very particular about things so they clashed really badly. 2p eng fed him shit like human meat idk how to fit this in but this old 2p thing is so funny to me i have to keep it anyways that was a thing meri was kind of the problem child there. 2p eng did not like meri lol but it was under layers of strange lying and false affections

nada was like... a lying kid he'd just go with what was told of him quietly and kind of halfassedly to get things done. but he also would try to cool down situations to keep himself and meri safe. he fed meri wild berries or whatever other foods that meri wouldn't get sick from and puke out so he didn't end up seriously malnourished... a good older brother. if not a little aloof. (and meri could be difficult sometimes because. you know. obviously. and nada didnt always know how to respond to him properly). he is all annoyed by meri Now bcz of how clingy and needy he is and how meri seems to want him to prioritize his needs over nada's own. meri doesn't intend this but nada to him is someone who'd never drop him anyways and meri wants to feel whatever counts as happy at the moment (does whatever he wants lol).

2p fra is useless husband lol ok but he is a sad sad guy and he doesnt gaf anymore and just stays in the manor and during the brothers childhood mostly turned the other way. he can garden tho theres that! also 2p eng can actually cook he just does shit but he can cook well. hes demanding of his husband and purposefully difficult sometimes... likes testing him.

nada and 2p eng's relationship is a lot better but nada holds his tongue a lot anyways. they get along pretty okay and meri is like im really chill about that (not really)(but well nada likes me more than him anyways... he'll always take my side no matter what he tells england...). meri thinks 2p fra hates him too but 2p fra doesnt he just doesnt gaf about those damn kids. after meri and nada ran away 2p fra was like well i guess this family doesnt really have kids anymore. and 2p eng waslike no they just left for college. (2p fra: college doesnt exis.t.. okay). now meri and nada adventures the small deserted world they live in on a shitty motorcycle doing errands and jobs for people.

now for other guys. 2p ita is an asshole to like everyone but he gets things done. he keeps things in line in most of the area though some people dont listen to him even if he threatens them. he's pretty aware of whats his strengths and what isnt so hes calculating about who and how he exerts control... hes the one who figured out the very faraway portal door to 1p world. he lives in a long asymmetric tower that looks like a radio tower... 2p ger works here for him and basically lives there too. 2p ger is a kind of mechanic thats weirdly clumsy but also really good at his work. (2p ger gives us gratuitous fanservice from tripping over lines that werent there previously and 2p ita pops three whole blood vessels at once!) 2p jp is the bodyguard ish. but he kind of hates being under people so he doesnt always listen to his bosses. (2p ita knows how to get him to listen tho even if its a hassle). 2p ita hires meri and nada to do shit sometimes (mostly nada cz meri is worse at listening than him. but meri shows up there anyways so they get to know each other's working styles). they dont like each other but due to a job now 2p ger, meri, and nada all know about the door so he has to figure out to keep them in check about it

2p pru is 2p ger's older brother that was a major deal but lost his whole arm!!! and is now weak and sad. so 2p ger mostly takes care of him and his mechanical arm. 2p ger has little loyalty to people, but he takes care of his brother anyways. he'd probably sell him out lol but then take care of him after anyways.

2p roma is on the radio Oh i forgot to mention everyone has a little walkie talkie or radio that connects to the radio tower and this is like their only source of entertainment (unless germy lets them borrow his shitty laptop) and well communication of sorts. anyways hes on the radio always and has to keep coming up with material and sometimes has to pretend like hes 2p ita when giving announcements... 2p ita thinks hes annoying and thinks whatever "entertainment" he gives on the radio sucks ass but they got each others backs anyways.

2p japan as i said is a kind of bodyguard but he's very protective of his work and also not friendly like at all. 2p chi is not rly his mentor but they keep running into each other anyways. 2p chi is kind of true idgaf guy he lives in one of the houses closer to the radio tower because its convenient and he couldnt care less about the other people around. he keeps a lot of old things in his house like old jewelry old trinkets just old old things of their world. he might've been the one who found the laptop and just gave to it to 2p ger just cz he asked. 2p ger gets his mechanical materials from him because nobody else keeps shit they find cause they suck and are lazy. so germys always like man that guys the best! and 2p japan grits his teeth and stars come out from him gritting his teeth cz of how hard he grit his teeth. 2p chi does not gaf abt 2p japan of course its like a weird beef... he keeps the old trinkets because its useful and he might find a thing or two that makes his life more convenient... if not he'll sell or give them away. he listens to the radio and thinks it sucks but not much else to do.

2p spain is a little further away from the radio tower but he's there. he lives in someplace that looks like a church but if you walk in its basic house interior. he is a shit guy but knows and keeps and sells information around here. 2p ita has beef with him for that(but its fine... he's a patient guy... kgh...) and instead of talking directly for managing stuff he just sends 2p roma to do it.(romas like i dont rly wanna... but fine.. cz im just rly charitable...) 2p spain likes throwing glass at people thats just a thing he does. meri and nada doesnt like doing jobs for him but he pays a lot so they do it anyways. 2p ger wouldnt mind working for him but 2p spain doesnt trust his weird mechanics and technology... he does things manually. of course he doesnt know but many things of his house runs on the same mechanics...

2p russia is closer to the radio tower than 2p spain is but relatively not close. he likes keeping the plants and ecosystem in this world alive because nobody else is managing it. (2p fra would but he's in that fuckass manor all the time... this pisses 2p rus alot cz instead of being useful to the environment hes just There). meri has no idea but the only reason there was wild berries all around and various non-meat food is cz of 2p rus. 2p rus barely knows of him tho he just hears abt them like oh those two who would do anything for a little piece of money. 2p russia always has the radio on because information is valuable even if right now its just a shitty improvised soap opera on the radio... he doesnt like other people and only interacts if he must.

aaand i forgot to mention but 2p eng's manor has one singular radio connected to the radio tower but its like always turned off and hidden. 2p eng doesnt like 2p ita and doesnt agree with how he runs things at all and is the one who is most uncooperative with him. thats why 2p eng is really secluded living in the manor... he's the furthest away from the radio tower. 2p ita thinks hes a freak but hes mostly not causing trouble for him so he lets him do whatever that shit is.

[lichtecht]

@is-this-taken-too-questionmark the entirety of my dfk 2023 notes are a bit too long and incoherent and unstructured, so i figured i'd try to compile some topics ive thought about

putting it under a cut cause its still very long

jo and martina get a scene that directly parallels the martin/jonathan bedside scene from 2003. i would also change the way jo’s backstory is shared. and the backstory itself „my mother abandoned me in a disco“ is hilariously iconic, but it doesn’t have any emotional impact. it makes you laugh, even though it’s meant to be sad. instead, jo shares her backstory in the aforementioned parallel. and instead of telling her why SHE is sad, jo comforts martina by, idk, taking her to the lake. -„i always come here when im sad. or when i want to be alone.“ -„its beautiful.“ bonding moment basically. maybe they stumble over the Externs and overhear their plans or something, and thats how we make the shift to action and plot again

some things i wrote down:

Martina/Jo lesbianism

Skating

bedside scene

"I'll just stay here. At home. With you."

Lowkey breakup

jo gifting martina the phone

Justraucher Reunion. Obvsly

Expand on how Robert & especially JUSTUS feel afterwards (cause we dont see justus again until they meet at the hospital)

also on what happened back then

more detailed backstory

(Note -> i have a whole other document with just things about Back Then, i'll get into that later (possibly in a seperate post so it doesnt get *too long*)

Jo & Nichtraucher bonding at the piano

gay mentorship

-> after Jo/Martina’s breakup

Uli

show him being bullied more

make it more of an actual internal conflict

uli being assigned to lead the distraction - would i keep that? i feel like him running away when hes in a leadership role and for everyone to see cheapens his character. and i feel like it doesnt fit with the perception of his character if the others have trust in him. in the 2023 film, its seemingly just the externs who make fun of uli and bully him? so the „enemies“. i feel like its quite important to ulis character that everyone doesnt take him for full, even people on „his side“, even his friends. its a nice gesture from martina to assign uli that role, but it doesnt make sense character-wise. uli isnt used to leading. or even stepping up. the kids should theoretically not have trust in him to be able to do this. it also doesnt make sense to award someone like that with a leadership role, even if its an attempt to help them stand up. (which it didnt seem to be? or am i missing that? maybe it was.) it just… doesnt make sense. and it does uli dirty. when i watched the movie for the first time, i said „thats what you get when you cut sebastian.“ because someone from their group needs to be at the battle and direct it, someone is captive, and several people need to free them. it wouldnt work if only martina stormed the boat house. you need multiple people, and martina and matze need to be there. uli, however, should not and would not lead the attack. thats what we’d have sebastian for. (wonderful, cynical, bitchy sebastian) instead, uli would TRY to partake in the attack, chicken out, and run away. you know. like in the book

The Legend???

the reveal was literally just stupid.

I mean, you could keep that the legend is made up, but it should still have some kind of impact on the other students

like "yeah ok the legend is fake, but dude, he still climbed up there, that was crazy impressive"

Dont know how to feel abt Uli planning the whole thing. Doesnt feel right.

Fr. Kreuzkamm not as ridiculous. Like she still has a sense of humor and her style stays the same (ms frizzle fashion) but she should at least have some respect from the students

Bökh shouldnt be a school director

Bökh Vertrauenslehrer. (dont know how to translate that. like an official teacher who's supposed to be a confidante for the students (although at least i never went to any appointed confidants. but maybe that depends on the person))

school director always threatens to close the boarding school, Bökh stands against it and supports the students

the strict one and the nice one should simply be 2 separate people

would a nicer 2023 Bökh still have acted so shitty regarding Robert and Marie though? it kind of only feels right if he sucks a little bit

(although he obvsly could have changed in those years. but he doesnt seem to regret it or feel guilty so i doubt he feels bad abt it)

i was thinking i'd give this new strict boarding school director the name of the headmaster in the book (grünkern), but grünkern just isnt that kind of person. he's someone the students laugh about. which is more like frau kreuzkamm is in the movie

so i figured i'd call the boarding school director professor kreuzkamm and have frau doktor kreuzkamm be called frau doktor grünkern instead

(and take some more inspirations from book grünkern as well, with how the students treat him)

ruda would be called ruda grünkern then too. she doesnt really need to be kreuzkamm anyway

… i guess kreuzkamm would just be one of the internals then. or i suppose the externs would work too, if kreuzkamm is just a background character. i havent thought about if i would change who gets kidnapped

about that.

im still struggling with figuring out how i wanna do the conflict. i was thinking maybe i should throw the whole conflict out cause i find it entirely annoying. but it is a really big part of dfk 2023 wether i like it or not, and it's really hard to change it when i dislike fundamental parts of the way it is written.

first, i had the idea to make it about a conflict between the rich kids from the city up in the boarding school and the less wealthy kids from town, but im not equipped to write about classism and i dont want to be an asshole on accident

maybe instead, it’s a rivalry between the students from the school in town and those in the boarding school. yes, that sounds like it’s exactly the same, but i would make the boarding school be an actual school on top of the hill, not just a place where the students sleep.

i'm definitely keeping the part about it being two separate schools though. it would be a bit more close to the book in that way. (i would also give the other school the name from the the book, but i couldnt find it. it might not have had one?? would appreciate some help here if you know a name)

and ig the easiest way to explain the animosity is also like in the book. that its a thing between the schools which predates any of the students involved. they just carry it out.

but would they make up in the end then?? im still not sure. it's so hard to find some kind of middle ground between the way it is in the book and in dfk 2023 !!!

(which is because they have a fundamentally different understanding of how this conflict ends!!!!!!!! in dfk 2023, its a thing of overcoming differences and making peace, while in the book that was never the goal to begin with!!! they start and end as enemies!!!!! carolina!!!! carolina, you dont get it at all!!!!!!!!)

to tie it back in with the 2023 movie, you could make it so that the two schools are still doing some kind of "friendship project" to bury the hatchet. although that probably wouldnt come from the schools themselves if theyre so hostile towards each other...

(MAYBE. its a thing that frau kreuzkamm, or rather, frau grünkern started. but none of this is thought out rn, i’m getting away from my goal with this post)

like i said, i would make it two separate schools. town school vs boarding school prehistoric feud boarding school director kreuzkamm; i kind of see him as an old man with balding white hair and a big moustache. wears black suits. never laughs. closer to book kreuzkamm, but less sympathetic. he's supposed to fill the role of the antagonist within the boarding school. instead of justus (who's supposed to be a safe place for the students) threatening to close the boarding school, it's direktor kreuzkamm. frau professor grünkern, headmaster of the town school. (she needs a first name. (i made a note here to consult the dfk girlies (gn) so please drop your suggestions? how do you feel about friederieke)) mother of ruda, still. wears colourful shirts, is basically like in the movie. although i still stand by what i said earlier about making her less of a comic relief

OH!! i completely forgot to tell you about that. i had a thought when i made part ... i think it was part 27. where i wrote in the tags #now that i think about it #WHY is frau kreuzkamm not sitting with her family?? #girl you have a husband and kids stop making eyes at your colleague whos gay anyway and my thought was a big WHAT IF. what if frau kreuzkamm cheated on her husband ties together ruda’s disappointment in her, frau kreuzkamm making eyes at justus und justus perhaps trying it with women to get over/ignore robert that might be a bit too much if we’re talking about a realistic rewrite, but let me engage the thought for a moment back to what i was saying

if i want to go with the cheating-storyline; justus has caught her eye. EVEN THOUGH she has a stay-at-home-husband. the second child doesn’t seem to have saved the marriage i am still unsure about her role in the conflict between the schools. cause in the movie she's both „everyone be friends 🥰 we don't need to continue these disputes!“ and "your INMATES are HURTING my SWEET CHILDREN you need to CLOSE THE BOARDING SCHOOL" and i still don't know how to deal with that. but now i had the thought that maybe she's the one who wants the opposing schools to make up Still thinking about that

i have a lot more notes, especially about matz, and i haven't even touched on my thoughts about the justus-robert-marie situation. but i will put that in a reblog or something. this is getting too long.

[unlimitedtrees]

nearly all of the character designs from 'UNITRES Dreams'

(once again, this post didnt have a “read more” part in da original cohost post, so im putting it here... click more if U Dare !!)

so, trying to get back into making art again, i decided to draw brand new references of all the character designs from my game, UNITRES Dreams. cus why not. anyways these references arent Perfect.. some of em ive made better reference sheets before (while for this i just wanted to draw em all together with a sort of consistent color style and their current, up-to-date designs) and also i didnt get to draw Every character as it is Too Much and i am Too Lazy to draw all of the enemies and boss designs ... so ive just included the enemy and boss sprites for now.. but ill probably draw new art for them sometime.

Anyways. let me tell ya a bit about making Character Designs for this game. as ive talked a bit about in my post about making Character Sprites , making stuff for the game is hard because i am pretty much the Only person working on the game and i have to split my time working on the sprites between working on Every Other Aspect Of The Game , meaning i dont get to spend as much time making the artwork as detailed and polished as id want to.

and the same thing goes for making the Character Designs. sadly, i didnt get to make as many Actual Characters as i wanted (you can tell which are the Actual Characters as theyre the ones i Actually Redrew Here). when the project started, i only really had the Main Three Playable Characters in mind.. in fact most of the other Actual Characters didnt even Exist until the Very Very End of development.. which is the part im sad about. i just didnt have enough time to think about adding any complex new characters or figure out how i would Make a new character design . Which leads me to the Other Characters... which includes Most (but not All) of the Bosses and Enemies. Their designs are well , Basic . their designs werent really thoughtout ;they were created to serve a single purpose: to be made quickly so that the game could Have enemies and bosses. if i were remaking this game now, id probably remove or even completely Redo a Ton of the enemy designs (except the post-UNITRES Dreams enemies ... im kind of proud of them Lol !!)

thats just how things were. i didnt have enough time to focus on making character designs, so i didnt get to make a Ton of them and i had to make them Fast . in fact, early on in development, i hadnt really had much experience making character designs (as , before UNITRES, i didnt really make too many Original Characters for my games before), so i struggled experimenting and making characters for a lot of its development. And The Designs themselves .. a lot of them (even the ones i like) are pretty simple. Most characters are comprised of simple shapes and details , making them easy to draw and animate. and a lot of the early designs used Very Few Colors , which made drawing them quicker.

Despite All Of This , However, i am actually pretty proud of a lot of the designs ive made for this game (Especially the ones with the fancy new drawings i made here ..). while theyre simple, and while i wish i couldve made More characters with more unique designs , i really like the designs i got to make for this game ,with some of em being my favorite to draw even when im bored .. and i just felt like id talk about em.

And Well , Im Gonna Talk About Em !! click da 'read more' thingy if u want to Read More ..

the Main three characterz

"trees"

so first off , let me talk about "trees". before i can get into their Actual Design , let me tell u a bit of history so u can understand why theyre designed the way they are.

So . around November 6, 2018 , before UNITRES was really a thing , i designed the very first version of Trees that u can see above. while i didnt know what the game was going to Be , i had a Basic idea of what i wanted the Character to be from the very beginning. you see, Trees (the character) ,while having the same name as me , is Technically Not a self insert , Kind Of . I designed this character near the beginning of when i started entering a Very Low Point mentally in my life (which involves some personal stuff im not going to get into , Aswell as this point happening Around when Among the Others released) and i thought Very Negatively of myself . And So , this character is sort of an exaggerated version of the negative thoughts i had about myself at the time .

the main characteristics of the character was they Did Not Show Their True Emotions , instead bottling up their feelings and showing a very Fake , happy version of themself. theyre also kind of Fucked Up in the head and try to hide it . anyways theres more stuff going on with them that you can probably extract from both the games and the old descriptions in this concept art , but i wanna leave that as a surprise for when i get to make my next game. There Are some outdated things from the descriptions in the concept art , such as an idea where Trees would be Always Facing Forward , hiding away their backside. And Also , you may notice theyre referred to as "it" and "his" in this , which has well. Changed . teehee.

as for The Design Itself , i wasnt really sure what i wanted to go for at first. this character was actually one of the Few first Actual Character Designs i made at that point , so i didnt really have any idea on what to do. One day , i thought up of a Little Bear Looking character , and i tried drawing that character .. only for it to Sort Of look like a little fox-like character. and i imagined this character emoting mainly by very subtle details , such as the Hat and Ears changing shapes based on their emotions ..

Anyways , later that month , i drew the very first sprite of Trees , which ended up being used as the Idle sprite for the UNITRES tech demo. i wont be sharing What that sprite was originally for , as im saving it for Something , but i Will show you Trees' sprite evolution:

from left-to-right , it starts with the very first Trees sprite. Then there's the first revision, which was done when UNITRES Dreams started development. Then there's the second revision , done for the Newgrounds update in 2021. And finally, there's the TREES' ADVENTURE version, which is the current version of the sprite.

with the first version, the sprite is Pretty Close to the first concept art. However , iremoved the blue part in the tail as i couldnt get it to look good in sprite form (or i just forgot to include it.. idont remember). I also removed some details , such as the little hair and the red blush, as i couldnt really include them on such a small sprite.

Anyways , so how did the design mutate into the current design ? Well , over time , i ended up drawing their ears and tail Longer , and ended up giving them longer and longer limbs (as it was Hard to animate them with the tiny limbs they had). Eventually , it got to the point where i decided to just redo the sprites to make em consistent with how i was drawing them , and thats how i got the second revision.

But Then , i started consuming media Other Than Sonic ! i think the main thing that infected my brain was Spinel from Steven Universe ... while Trees' design Did have a bit of the sort of rubberhose , silly limbs before (along with a Bit of contorting their form , as u can see with the expressions in the original concept) , when i saw the steven universe movie , i saw spinel and was Immediately like " Oh My Goodness Gracious . I Need To Make My Character As Silly As Her". And so , I leaned more into the silly , stretchy limbs . You can see this in the following sprites:

Anyways , as i kept drawing them and consuming more Non Sonic media , i ended up experimenting more with their design and adding some small elements from my inspirations .. one of the other main inspirations was Wander Over Yonder ,where i decided to draw Trees' hat to be more Silly and Big , like Wander's hat. i also ended up perfecting how i drew Trees , giving them more Sharp lines , Bigger and Sillier "hands" and "feet" , making their tail Huge , and just giving them a nice silhouette that i like . By the time of the Newgrounds update , i realized Trees' sprites were kind of Outdated , so i ended up redrawing Most of their sprites , and ended up with the version you can see in the current version of UNITRES Dreams ..

And well , Im Really Really proud of how their designed turned out . I Like to draw them a lot. and i think the way their design evolved has ended up fitting with their Actual Character really well .. the sort of Round , Soft elements such as their Big , Blobby hands/feet and their cute , silly face make them look , on the surface , cute and Silly . But then you have the more Sharp lines and elements , such as with their head and tail which i think makes their character have a bit of depth .. if that makes sense .

Idk . im not good at words or describing things . i just think their design now works really well with what i want to go for . and hey , a lot of my friends have drawn them and have drawn them Really Really Well .. i particularly like how people interpret their design .. with some people leaning into the more Soft , cute elements of their design , while some have drawn them Really Really accurately .. its really cool and im thankful for everyone whos drawn them before ..

Last Thing ill mention about their design (and i guess this goes for Most of the other designs) : Most of the characters in UNITRES aren't really supposed to be any Specific Species . Theyre all just sort of weird , ailen-like characters who do not abide to any sort of rules or reality or whatever. Trees is just Trees ; they're not supposed to be a Fox or any sort of Real animal or species or whatever, and that goes for every other character.

??????

so here's the very first designs of ?????? , who for now ill unofficially refer to as The Pink Character. When i first started development on UNITRES , i Knew i wanted there to be Three main characters: Trees, and two mysterious characters. and when i started work on UNITRES Dreams (back when it was known as UNITRES - BRAND NEW WORLD Edition) , i needed to create designs for them .. However , at this point i was still learning how to Properly Make Character Designs , and so i created the first sketch above ,and then created their first sprites , which . Well. I Ended Up Not Liking Their Design Very Much !

So . The whole point of this character is that they dont really know their own identity , with them not even having a Real Name . Their design was Supposed to be sort of Ambiguous .. However i was Not Sure what to do for their design . i wanted to make it so you couldnt really tell what their gender was (as originally , they were a girl ... but they do not have No Gender anymore) . However , when people first started testing the game , they just . thought they were a guy.

anyways . i just Did Not Like This Design . they didnt really have a Clear Silhouette .. they just didnt look like an appealing or memorable design to me. and i also i didnt like their color palette. So . when the game became UNITRES Dreams , i decided to completely redo their design . And Well ..

This is the first drawing of the new design. At First , i wasnt sure about their design , with things such as them being Pink and Having A Skirt, i was worried about Some People immediately being like "Oh , Theyre A Girl !".. but you know what ? Ive grown Very Very Attached to this design .. i think theyre both Cute and Recognizable , while still fitting the sort of character i was going for . Their sillouette , while not as Recognizable as the other characters , has enough goin on to where i think it is a bit recogniable and easy to read while still giving them a sort of Mystery regarding their identity .. if that makes sense . And their more monochrome palette compared to every other character helps sell that , i think .

i think theres probably some people out there who see this character as a girl , but i think theyre a good Non Gender Having character design . just cus theyre pink doesnt mean they gotta have Gender ! anyways , i love them. theyre my silly little strange creature. i hope you love them too .. there is so much i want to explore with this character in a future game .. and i think their new design has really stuck with me.

???

So , ??? , who i will refer to unofficially as The Blue Character, is supposed to Sort Of be the opposite of Trees (the character). they're Very Tired and Chill , not really too crazy or anythin. and i wanted their design to illustrate that, and well , out of every design ive made , theirs was pretty much perfect from the very moment i created them.

I dont know if i have any old concept of them on hand, but i Do have both the original sprites ,aswell as the newer ones which are pretty much the same as the old sprites , but more polished and with redone colors..

And, well. Yea . they didnt really change much ! The only aspects that changed was that i removed like , Two details that i felt cluttered up the sprites too much , that being the little Tired Eyebag/ whatever its called line beneath their eyes, along with the little Red Dot that was on their boots. Other than that , their design was pretty much Perfect. they were also pretty easy to make , as , with them being a sort of Opposite version of Trees , theyre pretty much based off Trees' design , except with a bunch of differences to make them feel like their own character (such as different body/head shape , a big silly hat , and Actual Boots).

there's nothing much for me to say about them. they're perfect.

the really gay ones

suzy, wavey, and their little Shine Catcher

Alright . so before i can explain These characters , u need a little bit of History .

So. when UNITRES - BRAND NEW WORLD Edition was "finished" , i went on to help with RRThiel and his game, MEGA MAN PERFECT BLUE. as you can see here, i worked on various backgrounds and tilesets for the game. Anyways , at one point , ithought itd be cool to remake the Intro Stage in UNITRES , as a sort of tribute to the game and also as a little extra thing for the new update i was planning on making (which ended up becoming UNITRES Dreams).

at first, this was Just going to be two levels based off the Intro Stage from Perfect Blue , However , later in MMPB's development , one of the backgrounds I did for one of the levels ended up being Completely Redone by other people on the team ,as my background didnt really fit the game's style .. However , i still really liked this background .. so I decided to reuse it for a new level in UNITRES , with it also being a tribute to the level in MMPB (though its a lot more loose compared to the Intro Stage level , Lol).

This level ended up becoming Greenhouse Frenzy in UNITRES , and i ended up turning what once was just going to be a two level bonus into an entirely new campaign with its own story in UNITRES Dreams. and with it being a whole new campaign , i wanted there to be New Bosses and New Enemies ..

So , for Greenhouse Frenzy - Section 1 , I was planning on a new boss ... and this boss was going to be ... Mr. Sauceman !

You See , for UNITRES Dreams i wanted to go Hard with including all sorts of little tributes to my friends and the people who helped with the game . Mr. Sauceman , being one of the composers of the game , let me use his character from the game hes working on as a boss in the game , and i thought itd be nice to have him be in Greenhouse Frenzy ,since that level is pretty much a big tribute anywayz.

So , Originally , i wanted the Sauceman boss to start out with a little Fake Out . You See, the MMPB level that Greenhouse Frenzy is based off has a robot master that i asked RRThiel if i could use for the level , but he said no. So , I decided for this boss that i would create a silly character Inspired by the robot master from the MMPB as a silly little joke , but then Mr. Sauceman shows up and that character explodes . And So , I Designed Suzy , a character who , while inspired a bit by the character MMPB , was made to be a bit different and also to be used for a silly little fake-out intro and to die in 5 seconds . You can see this on the reference sheet , where she didnt even have a name and is just referred to as "GF2 Fakeboss".

However . Two Things Happened : 1) I Grew Kind Of Attached To This Little character I Designed , And 2) I Ran Out Of Time. i couldnt implement the fakeout that i had planned ... and i didnt have a boss fight for Greenhouse Frenzy - Section 1.... So. I decided to just. Make her the boss fight of GF1. it just made sense ! i Originally had planned a boss fight based on the Magik Master boss from Chaotic Carnival , but reusing the character design for the silly fakeout ended up being quicker , and so she ended up being an Actual Character in the game.

And Then There's Wavey . she is a robot. i originally designed her as an enemy for the Intro Stage tribute level (a.k.a , Perfect City) , as i wanted it to have its own enemy. Her design is also Some What inspired by one of the robot masters from MMPB , though not as much as Suzy's is.

Anyways , despite Suzy and Wavey being inspired by characters from MMPB , i wanted them to be different and have their own sort of Character . And well .. their actual Personalities are different to the ones from MMPB , at least . In UNITRES Dreams , there is a hidden "Storybook" mode , which contains various stories which add a bit of Worldbuilding into the game .. and one of the stories details Suzy and Wavey . Basically , Suzy is a lonely gardener , who lives alone on her own strange little planet , who then travels across the galaxy to the Perfect City , where she ends up meeting Wavey , a military robot who Suzy becomes fascinated with ..

Anyways . my writing aint exactly the best , and i Refuse to go and reread the stuff i wrote for the storybook mode in unitres . but i tried my best to make suzy and wavey their Own sort of characters , having their own identity compared to the characters theyre based on. Oh , and by the way , suzy and wavey are gay LOL !! and they have a little baby plant that they raise . this is also told in the storybook but i unfortuately didnt get to explore this Much outside of that in the game... though there Is a secret you can find in one of the levels.

So. what do i think of these characters and their designs ? Well. Honestly. Im Not Sure . when i designed them both , i still wasnt Totally comfortable with character designs as i am now , and honestly . theyre not my Favorite designs . Wavey in particular is just . Well . Shes Just Metal Sonic in A Hat . she has her own little differences , but i cant lie . i probably coulda done better with her design . and suzy i think hasnt aged as well either . Idk. Also. In Case You Cant Tell , I am BAD with coming up with names . I Genuinely cant do it. i came up with both of their names on a Whim . i justdidnt know what to call them and i was running out of time LOL !!

anyways. last things ill mention are : the plant is a species known as Shine Catchers, which appear as enemies in Greenhouse Frenzy. Oh , and also , here's some concept art of them Lol !!

(oh , and i also forgot to mention: originally , suzy had green dots on her "hair", but i didnt know how to properly draw them on the sprites , so i left it out)

the Silly ones (a.k.a my favorite ones)

Millie

So . Millie is the most self-indulgent design Ive created .

Here's how it went: one December day in 2020 , I was sitting around bored as hell , when all of a sudden , the Silly Brained part of me Saw an idea pop up: A Tall , Hot , Cute Clown Man . And Instantly , I KNEW I had to draw him . But I Was in the middle of a Zoom call ... So . I opened up IbisPaint on my old Android phone , and drew the First sketch with my fingers that you can see above . And Instantly I Knew : I Had Done It . I Made Perfection .

More ideas grew , and i realized : I Could Do Something With This ! So , later , I came up with a whole reference sheet for him , and started planning on something: I was going to make More characters for UNITRES Dreams . You see , at the time , I was working on the v3.0.0 update for the game. This was Very Very late in development , before i even Planned there being a Newgrounds version (and before ninjamuffin convinced me to Make the newgrounds version LOL !!). Anyways. for so long , iwas disappointed that i didnt get to make a whole lot of original characters for the game .Most of the characters were either Enemies or Bosses. there was Barely any NPCs (aside from the guest character apperances).

i Also Realized: Chaotic Carnival , one of the most Important levels in the game , needed More love . So. I decided i was going to make new NPCs just for it , so that the level could feel even More alive and lived in. And that's when i created the Silly Trio , which started with Millie.

As for Millie's design , there isn't much for me to say. he is perfect. i love him and he is one of my favorite things ive designed. Yes , it Is self indulgent . Yes , i Do Want Him Carnally . teehee. Anyways , after designing Millie , i knew i had to design more characters .. which leads me to..

Goldian and Ellie

Goldian is a tall , polygonal magician man. He is in love with Millie. They are canonically dating.

Ellie is a bunny-like clown girl. She likes to entertain people with magic. I think she might be asexual , but i wasnt very sure when i created her.

Anyways. there isnt much for me to say. i Could get into some of the Character Lore perhaps . Millie , Goldian , and Ellie are all characters with troubled pasts.. they all had to run away from their homes due to circumstances , and they managed to find the mythical Chaotic Carnival, where they all met and decided to become entertainers. It gives them purpose , to see people happy. And they work under the Magik Master , a strange magician who has the ability to bend reality at will. They're all like a sort of Found Family .

that's all ill say about them. theres so much more i want to do with them in the future... i love these characters so much. theyre my favorite designs ever.

Oh ! Iforgot to mention . these characters (including millie) names also suck LOL ! Im not good with coming up with names !! all their names i came up with at the last minute

All The Other Characters I Forgot To Mention

the magik master

nothing much to say about them. theyre one of the first bosses i created, and i Kind Of like their design still , though i might consider redoing it so it fits with the rest of The Silly Ones ..

vie

nothing much to say about Vie . she's a flower girl, who spreads flowers to every level in the game. she got the flowers from the Suzy's Greenhouse ..

Misc. Concept Art

[fractalkiss]

fic commentary/notes for the year you thought you were dying.

trying this thing where i do fic commentaries here instead of on dreamwidth since most of my recent dw posts will be private now.

influences:

there was this BL titled "my 40-year-old prostitute" in english or something like that that a mutual from twt recommended. look, it was good. im so fucking serious. the yaoi art was beautiful and sexy and it started out so well with compelling characters. but the translators ceased uploading translations by just chapter 2 in 2020 on [redacted] site. which effectively meant the premise never left me for months and i was so sad.

joke's on me tho all of this really became serious after i wrote tumblr ficlets of 1418 hooker au in response to some fun ask prompts in the summer, which are in my fic tag somewhere.

some quotes from more influences:

"It’s obvious that the range of people who sought out sex for money would change dramatically in a kinder, gentler world. [...] Sex work would also attract stone butches of all genders and sexual orientations—people who want to run the fuck but are not interested in experiencing their own sexual vulnerability and pleasure. Often these people are the most adept at manipulating other people’s experiences. They are more objective about their partners’ fantasies and do not become distracted by their own desires, since their needs to remain remote and in control are already being fulfilled. - pat califa, 1994, 2000

"You. What will you let yourself become for me?" - dorothy allison, her thighs, 1992.

the essay "her thighs" is about lesbian power play and so influential to me. i think dorothy allison is a very powerful writer and i love her poetry.

this is an allison excerpt from jane ward's the tragedy of heterosexuality:

i kept this in mind too while i was writing manuela's short backstory.

the process:

i wanted crazy thangs with the structure. i wanted most of the sexual intimacy to be revealed much later to the reader, after we go through mostly the companionship aspect of the service -- which i realise now is not crazy but a boring approach and would really change the story so i didnt do it.

sex pollen fic done this way is my fave tho. helenish wrote this sga fic called This Gun for Hire with sex amnesia in it where everyone is in denial in the aftermath about the kind of sex that was repeatedly happening. there are other fic examples (can't quite remember or have bookmarked) where the denial and delusion is so completely off the charts with a character in trying to get through the aftermath of the event without a freaky sex trope involved.

so i wondered if i could pull off that kind of blurriness and denial in the structure for a character who KNOWS what is happening but thinks they're still straight and will die straight lmao. but fernando in this story is just jaded, retiring and isn't cripplingly repressive.

the notes from my word tracker doc that i had to do to be able to write long fic. i laugh at this every time:

my projected word count for this was 20k, which was so off lmfao.

i put off getting them to have sexy fun in italy at one point because i didn't know yet what emotional point they needed to get to and what grounds they'd be on then. i wrote a bit of a very different scene to lead up to it, but then scrapped it. and then i wrote the auction night and the morning-after scene. tension and conflict (without having to use miscommunication as the necessary crutch) is always one of my most favorite things to write about so i was so glad i got to this point LOL. the payoff of reaching a compromise and then an emotional release later is so rewarding to me! i love that shit

emotionally i just knew i needed it to be like the mindy nettifee poem i grabbed the fic title from.

figuring out how to write lance in this fic was really hard ngl since i went into the story almost blind. cofi made me realise this blind spot when i showed her an early wip and i was like hold awn.... if i wasn't sending @strulovic broken drafts and doing lanceology consultations with her, i wouldn't have gotten anywhere in the story.

alonso being a divorcee irl is so important to each and every one of my agendas thank god for the gay uncle. i did a lot of google searching to be able to write fernando's approach to sex and relationships outside of the job. i knew what i wanted to take away, like the difficulties with intimacy that former workers have had, and still have after the industry sometimes. fernando scrubbing his hands clean at lance's place after the auction despite not having sex with the auction client, his views on wanting the sex with his ex-wife and other exes to be "acceptable and proper" in contrast to whatever he's done for work, and how the internalised homophobia warps this for him while he tries to play the gentleman with lance in italy (and lance being able to read through him and understand that fernando DOES want to fuck him nasty ‼️ though lance doesn't understand the extent of fernando's issue with it). there are also accounts where sex work gave a worker the experience, space and autonomy they needed to slowly heal from prior traumatic and/or abusive experiences. the research was very interesting.

relied on music A LOT. an honorary ldr song [hears collective groaning] that didn't get included in the fic playlist was Love song. lance was in that passenger seat beside fernando in their sleek '67 restored fiat on the way to umbria wishing and wishing to get railed.

ALMOST FORGOT TO INCLUDE: ferrari to mclaren 2.0 fernando was the print here. he keeps the ferrari depression beard ofc.

truly not an overstatement, i think this fic was what made writing smth as long as this quite enjoyable and bearable for me. dare i say fun! haha