#i was not treated by my parents as lesser but i was treated different. two clubhouses | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

befuddledcinnamonroll · 8 months

Text

Last Twilight - final thoughts

Well, this isn't a fraught topic at all today, lol.

Normally I wait a bit longer before writing about my final thoughts, but I have a lot spinning in my mind right now and want to get it out.

Disclaimer - this is just my subjective opinion. I cannot speak to having a disability like Day or a trauma like Mhok.

To start, overall I greatly enjoyed this show. The acting was fantastic, the story was compelling, the romance was romancing. I do have some mixed feelings about the last few episodes. I know some people liked it! I know some people feel very let down. But I hope we can all use this as a chance for respectful discussion.

Disability representation and how we talk about it

One thing I do think it is important to remember, is that the disability experience is extremely different for different people. And there are a number of people with disabilities who are working on recovery, or looking into options for reducing the impact of their disability. This can be a very controversial thing. One example is the Deaf community, and the very different perspectives on things like cochlear implants.

As we talk about Last Twilight, of course people can disagree with how the story went, or the timing of events. But I would caution people from saying that Day's experience as a blind man is meaningless, or that the story was pointless, because he regained his sight in the end. Because that can be a very invalidating thing for people who have been through similar experiences.

To me? It honestly felt realistic for Day to get another donation. He's wealthy and privileged. He also had gained a sense of contentment while still blind, and knew he could live a good life that way. And I think all of his past experiences still mattered, because it was part of his journey to being who he was at the end.

Do I also want more representation of people with disabilities, in all ways, shapes, and forms, living amazing lives and kicking ass? Hell yeah!

Day's mother

I've written a bit about my feelings on Day's mom before, so I'm not going to go in depth. I did see some people saying this was about culture, and that she was acting in accordance to how a lot of parents would in her situation, who are a part of that culture. I don't disagree with that. My issue is that she started at point A, she was suddenly at point B, and we saw nothing of how she got from A to B.

I do think, in terms of disability representation, showing more of her journey in accepting Day's autonomy would have been worthwhile.

Day & Mhok's relationship

This is where I have more of a struggle with this show. To be clear, I don't think Day is a villain, and I understand how terrified he was of being seen as lesser by the person he loved. I don't even have an issue with a breakup, just some of the aspects of it.

A lot of what happened felt rushed for these past two episodes. I may have felt better about it if there was more space to dip into nuance. Considering how the time was spent in earlier episodes, this was so fast paced.

I mostly have an issue with Mhok being treated as 100% responsible for their break up - and for him apologizing and thanking Day for doing it.

I used to actually professionally train people in Conflict Navigation, and I've spent a lot of time with people on some of the key components when successfully dealing with conflict.

Btw, we deliberately didn't call it Conflict Resolution, because a lot of conflicts don't get resolved. And that's ok! It's learning how to work within them, if you want to maintain a relationship.

But a really important part of resolution is that both parties need to understand the role they played in what happened. It's not fun or comfortable, but it's an essential piece to moving through it.

And I get that Day & Mhok were both young, so not having the best approach to conflict at that time makes sense. Day being impulsive makes sense. (Though I maintain that scene should have had a few more minutes to it).

But when they are back in the same space, (after Day blocking Mhok's contact for 3 years, yikes?), when they have both grown and matured, and yet Mhok takes all the blame for what happened back then - to me, this reads as the setup of a relationship where Day will get mad, and Mhok will continue to take full responsibility to keep things smooth.

And honestly, it again feels infantalizing of Day to say that because he is the one with the disability, he was the one who was 100% correct in everything that he did. If he is going to be treated as a fully independent autonomous person, that means accepting the role he played in what happened. His perspective was valid, he still has to own his piece of their relationship falling apart, and him doing nothing to address it in any other kind of way before going straight to breaking up.

Again, not saying Day was wrong. I'm saying for a healthy future relationship, he needs to own his part in things, and not just agree that Mhok was the problem.

Privilege and status

My final quibble is that the early episodes did such a good job of showing how Mhok and Day were both in disadvantaged situations - of very different kinds, but it was a connector between them. Mhok was struggling due to his status as someone from a poor background, and his status as an ex-con. The way he and his sister fought to make ends meet after the parents passing away, and then the trauma of his experience of losing his sister. The struggle to find work, to be seen as worthy, as someone who is still a part of society regardless of having been to prison.

But this all slipped away through the story, until at the end the only thing that mattered was Day and his journey. Which was important! But Mhok had his own journey, and it matters. His trauma was significant, and it deserved more than being treated as an excuse for Day to leave him.

Final final thoughts

Oof, ok, needed to get that out! I think a big part of why I disliked Mhok being fully blamed is that I just love the guy so damn much. If only men like that really existed, lol.

But what incredible acting by Sea & Jimmy, they worked so hard. I adored Night & Porjai as side characters, and now very much want a one shot spinoff of their honeymoon, where they stumble on to a secret spy meetup and shenanigans ensue.

P'Aof is a very talented director, and there were some great visuals in this show. I've never seen such erotic hand touching in my life.

Well, at least it never gets boring in BL land!

#last twilight the series #last twilight #last twilight final episode

34 notes · View notes

yanderes-galore · 1 year

Note

could I request platonic yandere Henry emily hcs? 🌹🦢

Thats about all I have, thank you!

Hope you have fun writing

Sure! I got a photo of him from the wiki for the banner :) Hopefully I get his character right with my research. May be short as there isn't much we know about Henry but I tried? This is very... rambly (?) so I hope you like it!

Yandere! Platonic! Henry Emily Concept

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective behavior, Obsessive tendencies, Cold behavior, Manipulation, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Mentions of death/murder, Delusional behavior, Projecting, Dark themes, Mentions of child darling/Overprotective father.

I feel Henry isn't as good as a character as we think, in any media.

I'd say he's a gray character, he isn't necessarily good or bad.

He has his imperfections, especially after the death of his daughter at the hands of William.

He isn't the best father and certainly would project onto you.

In terms of being a platonic yandere, he'd definitely be more parental.

Henry would still not be the best before and after the death of his daughter.

Maybe you're a friend of Charlotte or even a sibling.

Before Charlotte is murdered, Henry is an okay father.

He's still rather distant due to working on his animatronics, yet he feels his heart melt when you play with Charlotte.

He loves you both, regardless on if you're a family friend or sibling.

Although a sibling would make more sense.

Henry's behavior wouldn't increase until the death of Charlotte.

This way, if we're going by the younger child darling route even though I don't do it often, then he'd definitely project onto you.

He'd treat you like you're the only thing he had left.

In fact, in many ways you are.

He becomes protective and paranoid at the idea of William taking you too.

It's weird behavior... even if he is a grieving man... everything is completely unhealthy.

He doesn't like you out of his sight, even as a teen he's still an overprotective father.

He gives you small mechanical robots as gifts.

When he isn't drowning himself in work then he's paying attention to you.

Henry is a broken man and not the best father.

He fears the idea of you growing up and maybe getting caught by someone.

If we take this route he'd be a helicopter dad and very protective due to the trauma of losing his daughter.

There's another way to look at a platonic Henry, too.

This version you can be older and he still projects onto you.

Maybe he takes you in as an apprentice and due to your young age, he starts to wonder if Charlotte would've been like you when she grew up.

He sees you as a replacement for the child he lost.

If he still had contact with William he keeps you far from him.

Henry wouldn't really murder like his coworker William.

He's protective, paranoid, and unstable.

Yet when/if he snaps... it's more self-destructive than anything.

Honestly, Henry just wants revenge for Charlotte.

He wants to put an end to things.

You help him get through things.

In fact, it's canon he's depressed after Charlotte.

You both make things better and worse, since he treats you like he'd treat Charlotte if she was alive.

The most "yandere" thing about Henry I can think of is him being delusional.

In this AU he can't get over the murder of his child and uses you as a stand-in.

Regardless of your origin or gender, you become the new "Charlotte".

He wants to correct his failure to prevent her fate.

As a result you're treated like a different person.

The longer Henry is around you, the more he tries to fit you into the role he wants.

Henry, even without the dark twist I gave him, is a selfish and twisted man.

He may not be as bad as William, but he is the lesser of two evils.

You become his coping mechanism, his form of comfort...

While you slowly begin to lose your independence and sense of self.

#yandere five nights at freddy's #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf pizzeria simulator #yandere fnaf 6 #yandere henry emily #platonic yandere

110 notes · View notes

gilverrwrites · 2 months

Note

Do you have any general headcanons you like to share about Roman? Or your take on Roman? Something about his backstory or how he became Black Mask? If it differs a little to canon — just so curious to know 🖤

I have a lot of general Roman HCs, some of which do differ from canon, but most of which just branch off of it. Thank you so much for asking I love you !!!! here is an info dump 🖤🖤🖤

He was not dropped on his head as a child, this was a ‘funny anecdote’ his parents would tell people at gatherings to excuse his disquiet behaviour.

I think he was born with learning and behavioural disabilities that went undiagnosed and often resulted in harsh punishment from his parents.

Regardless of learning abilities, I think he is just dim in the academic sense. He works hard because he can’t work smarter.

Good at physical stuff though, probably played football or whatever the rich kid equivalent is in high school. (Lacrosse?)

May have even excelled in something artistic, something that allows him to express himself but was never allowed too, ‘paintings for pansies’/Toxic masculinity and all. That kinda stuff does rub off on a kid and now it runs deep in his brain.

Torture is his art/form of expression these days, just don’t ever say it like that to him.

In the earlier stages of his career he was a high roller/high spender, which is what caused so many of his endeavours to fail, nowadays he’s more of a wealth hoarder. He likes to have and flaunt, but that doesn’t necessarily mean flash, you know?

Like a good pair of shoes will last you a lifetime as opposed to 50 pairs of trendy shoes?

Nowadays most of his money is spent on home renovations/replacing furniture and amenities that he breaks during fits of rage.

Another reason a lot of his earlier businesses failed is because he doesn’t care about the product. Janus Cosmetics? This man could not give less of a shit about make up.

But nightclub? Drug? Guns? That shit sells itself in a cesspool like Gotham.

He’s a clean freak, has to have things spick and span, and organised a specific way. Wears gloves to avoid the feeling of specific textures. Despite this I’m he’s never cleaned a damn thing in his life, that’s what is lessers are for.

He would never let that show in front of anyone however, can’t be seen as weak.

Side note: He DOES like blood/bodily fluids, like a lot, just in the right time and place.

He’s hard of hearing, not from a medical standpoint point, but because that mask literally is a barrier over his ears.

That’s probably also why he yells so damn much.

He’s for sure a ladies man, and i’ve mentioned before that when he falls, he falls hard. I often write my /reader content from the perspective of him having already fallen for the reader. Realistically, that’s a difficult position to obtain, and he does not treat the other 99% of sexual prospects so kindly.

Well, he might fake kindness to draw in someone that’s playing hard to get but once he’s got them in his clutches he’ll revert back.

He keeps dogs, dogs are far more loyal than people and easier to train.

Does not follow politics, not up to date on the latest news unless it’s relevant to him and his goings on. He has trusted people to relay that information to him, or more aptly a revolving door of people to relay that information because he is prone to shooting the messenger.

Will study up however if he knows he’ll be crossing paths with people like Penguin, or Riddler cause he knows they’ll ridicule him if they find out. does that same for Two-Face but not because he thinks Harv will judge him, more because he wants Harv to view him as an equal.

He grew up in high society, so he’s actually pretty well spoken, just puts on that accent cause he thinks it sounds more authoritative.

Similarly his voice was not that gruff until after years of smoking and yelling.

Actually got a long well with Bruce Wayne as a child. They would have run in similar circles pre- the Wayne’s death. Unfortunately, the next time they met each other Bruce represented everything Roman wanted to be but couldn’t.

Roman actually does have a soft spot for kids but only one on one. - we have seen him attempt to blow up/shoot out orphanages.

Like a group of children he’s had never met don’t register as human beings in his mind, there is no sympathy.

But if you put a shy, little rich boy with daddy issues in front of him internally he’s like ‘THATS ME! I’m him! Must protect.’

Don’t let it touch anything though, god knows kids are sticky and he cannot deal with that. Also, hypocritically he won’t put up with any attitude from them, it’s like a switch. Like father like son. “I got beat as a child and I turned out great.” Sir, no you did not.

His favourite Robin is Damian.

#gilverrwrites #dc #black mask #roman sionis #gilverranswers #headcanons #hcs #hc #long post #sorry #anon

12 notes · View notes

hollowed-theory-hall · 8 months

Text

How many muggleborns actually are there in the UK?

So, I think, the first thing I post here should be what started my HP theorizing journey. Which was an IRL friend asking me how many muggleborns even are there in the Wizarding World to cause this much strife?

So strap on in for a journey of demographic statistics and me documenting every name in the book and their blood status like someone who actually cares (I don't, but I do have some things to say about blood status, inbreeding, and magical genetics, but that's a whole different post)

So, when I started thinking about how to figure out what percentage of muggleborns are in the British Wizarding World, I decided to start simple. Harry's year (according to JKR's notes and Harry Potter and Me) has 40 students. Fewer are mentioned by name in the books, but I created the closest approximation on these 40 students according to book information and notes from JK.

(In general, book canon precedes any other source)

Harry's year is a good start since it gives us a look at all wizards and witches born in the UK in the same year, as it seems all Hogwarts years are similar in size. So this is a good enough rough approximation of blood status across the wizarding world in the UK as a whole (and the one we have the most information about).

Some definitions about blood status and the way it seems to be treated in the books so we'll all be on the same page:

Muggleborn - a wizard with two muggle parents

Pure-Blood - a wizard with two magical parents of which none are muggleborn and at least one is pure blood (i.e a child of a half-blood and a pure blood would be considered a pure blood for this list)

Half-Blood - Only one magical parent who isn't a muggleborn

At least one magical parent - a character we knew for sure isn't muggleborn but do not have further information.

So without further ado, here are the 40 wizards in Harry's year:

In Gryffindor:

Harry Potter - Half-Blood - Book text

Ronald Weasley - Pure-Blood - Book text

Dean Thomas - Half-Blood - Book text

Seamus Finnigan - Half-Blood - Book text

Neville Longbottom - Pure-Blood - Book text

Hermione Granger - Muggleborn - Book text

Praviti Patil - Most Likely Pure Blood - In book 1, Praviti and Pansy Parkinson are shown to be on a first-name basis and familiar from before Hogwarts. I don't see the blood purists Parkinsons being acquainted with who they consider "lesser blood".

“Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?” said Pansy Parkinson, a hard-faced Slytherin girl. “Never thought you’d like fat little crybabies, Parvati.” - Philosopher Stone, page 108

Lavender Brown - Pure-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

In Slytherin:

Millicent Bulstrode - Most Likely Pure Blood - due to the Bulstrode family appearing in the Sacred Twenty-Eight. (I'm aware in JK's notes mentioned in Harry Potter and Me, Millicent is described as a half-blood, but as many of the characters there didn't make it into the book, they are less canon than the book information)

Vincent Crabbe - Pure-Blood - Book text

Tracy Davis - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Gregory Goyle - Pure-Blood - Book text

Daphne Greengrass - Pure-Blood - The Greengrass family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Draco Malfoy - Pure-Blood - Book text

Theodore Nott - Pure-Blood - The Nott family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight (Nott's grandfather/great-grandfather is also the most likely to have written it)

Pansy Parkinson - Pure-Blood - The Parkinson family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Blaise Zabini - Pure-Blood - Book text

In Hufflepuff:

Hanna Abbott - Pure-Blood - The Abbott family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Susan Bones - Most Likely Pure Blood - Mentioned to have multiple magical relatives including Amalia Bones (Head of the DMLE) a prominent figure in the incredibly corrupt Ministry of Magic that practically runs on nepotism (a subject fro a different post, probably).

Justin Finch-Fletchley - Muggleborn - Book text

Wayne Hopkins - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Megan Jones - Most Likely Pure Blood - Mentioned to have multiple magical relatives (even if the wiki calls them half-bloods, there are a lot of wizards from this family).

Ernest Macmillan - Pure-Blood - The Macmillan family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Zacharias Smith - Most Likely Pure Blood - As someone who brags of being a descendant of Helga Hufflepuff and being able to trace magical lineage so far back.

In Ravenclaw:

Terry Boot - At Least One Magical Parent - As he goes to Hogwarts during the 1997-1998 school year when muggleborns were forbidden from doing so.

Mandy Brocklehurst - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Michael Corner - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Stephen Cornfoot - Pure-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Anthony Goldstein - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Sue Li - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Morag MacDougal - Pure-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Padma Patil - Most Likely Pure Blood - Same as Praviti Patil.

Lisa Turpin - At Least One Magical Parent - Most likely. This is a character nothing is stated about, but I assume that if she was muggleborn it would have been mentioned during the second war.

Unknown House:

Oliver Rivers - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin.

Roger Malone - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin.

Lily Moon - Most Likely Pure Blood - Has other magical relatives of the name Moon across HP media.

Sally-Anne Perks - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin.

Sophie Roper - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin along with other wizards with the same surname.

Runcorn - Most Likely Pure Blood - As she is likely related to Albert Runcorn who worked in the Ministry of Magic under the Death Eaters' rule and worked as an intimidator and blackmailer of alleged muggleborns.

Sally Smith - Most Likely Pure Blood - As she is likely related to Zacharias Smith.

From this we see that we have:

23/40 = 57.5% Pure-Blood and Most Likely Pure Blood

9/40 = 22.5% Half-Blood

6/40 = 15% At Least One Magical Parent

2/40 = 5% Muggleborn

This kind of percentage is one we see among the Order of the Phoenix (another group of wizards who accept muggleborns and we have information about their blood status) as well. So, it's not just Harry's generation that is low on muggleborns, but that muggleborns are a very small percentage of the wizarding population.

At the Order's peak in members during the First War (therefore before most potential mass muggleborn killings) it had 25 members, and I'll make this list shorter:

Pure-Blood: 8/25 = 32%

Alastor Moody, Alice Longbottom, Elphias Doge, Fabian Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Gideon Prewett, James Potter, Sirius Black

Most Likely Pure Blood: 6/25 = 24%

Dedalus Diggle, Edgar Bones, Emmeline Vance, Marlene McKinnon, Peter Pettigrew, Sturgis Podmore

Half-Blood: 6/25 = 15%

Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Mundungus Fletcher, Remus Lupin, Reberus Hagrid, Severus Snape

At Least One Magical Parent: 3/25 = 12%

Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Dorcas Meadows

Muggleborn: 1/25 = 4%

Lily Potter

-----

Only one of the Order members is a muggleborn - Lily Potter.

The fact that even among a group like the Order of the Phoenix (who fought against Voldemort and blood-purists) we see practically no muggleborns just proves the above statistics in Harry's year are the norm. There is probably one or two muggleborns who arrive every year at Hogwarts and they are, overall, a very small present of the population.

This is kind of interesting to me in terms of how much of an issue their very existence is made to be for some wizards in the books, and I thought I should share it since I never see anyone doing maths to calculate population statistics and demographics for the Wizarding Wolrd.

At some point, I should post about the death rates of the two wars with Voldemort along with other stats and timelines I've calculated.

#harry potter #harry potter theory #harry potter thoughts #wizarding world #wizarding population #overthinking #blood status #hp theory #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hollowedtheory #hp thoughts

37 notes · View notes

wilted3sunflowers · 10 months

Text

subjects you to warden essence b tier talk

okay so like, i really love the b tiers of wardens essence the design for all the characters is strongly tied together, i enjoy our b tier cast is all in there as prisoners and matching i have a lot of say actually about each and the insects/arachnid theyre subjected to i love majority of all the cast and need to gush about it i have a lot of say actually about each and the insects/arachnid theyre subjected to i love majority of all the cast and need to gush about it

even altrusitic ganji is there, as worker bee

mirroring his true backstory, the description especially "They praise my patience while pulling out my stinger." bees only attack once feeling threatened, to defend the hive and queen that worker bees quote " They act as nurse bees taking care of the young bees and the queen, as housekeepers who work to clean and expand the hive and as foragers and scouts who bring back food and seek out new hive locations. As a worker ages, it takes on different roles inside and outside of the hive." taking care of the young, who seek out new locations, it just makes me think of his trailer particularly for the 'pulling out my stinger' its not just that bees die once their stingers are used…Bees can actually sting insects multiple times "they also have stingers, but they can only sting mammals once and then they die. They can, however, sting other insects over and over again to protect the hive." that mammals have thick skin that they cant pull their stinger out of. causing them to die when trying to pull it out that theyre pulling out the stinger, these 'gentleman' [the wolves theyre portrayed as in his trailer his stinger to be caught] he only struck out of necessity- out of hostility from the other even when he waited to strike, his patience can only last so long

Vera [my love and personal favorite girl] as scorpion all about reflection of the self- of who/what she isnt "When I look at myself in the mirror, I wonder if I should show more kindness to others." in her description

a woman cast out continually by others around treated as lesser of the two sisters and odd, to have her interests dashed by her own parents over and over, that no one 'cared' Chloe Nair disappeared, that she could play the part of vera "The vast majority of scorpions are nonsocial, solitary animals that interact only at birth, during courtship, or for cannibalism." cannibalism, to not just eating another but if we want we can even infer the whole 'there can only be one scorpion. eating the twin. taking that place of territory.

jack as a centipede- which are natural hunters and aggressive by nature purposeful in chasing prey Description: "Mind your temperance in hunting; only then can you enjoy everlasting fun." the painted on red grin of his face. he's remorseless. this is all ripper and how he thrives as the predator, that for him this is his entertainment. its almost funny hes a prisoner here to be 'reformed' when he shows no sign of care for his prey or what he did. The only one with a painted smile - red that could have been made to symbolize how he eats his prey and thats blood

Norton as Ant Description: "What has group living taught me? To enjoy competition and embrace pressure? Or one should possess charity to avoid being perceived as evil."

the 2nd blatant piece of information before fools gold drop about how being around those other miners weren't that nice, competition and pressure? how he would help his family before fully leaving when he seemed to be a caring boy

like a miner ants both dig under the ground in careful crafted tunnels and hard workers but are also looked on upon with no empathy by many from kids to adults and regarded with disgust, trying to take the scraps to live and survive. That their lives hold no worth- especially with how many there are seen as pests even though they dont bite [except fire ants of course but this is just a regular ant]

naiad as a mayfly which "They usually come out of the water at dawn or just before nightfall to transform into adults, but some species leave the water at midday. Males usually surface well before the females" they are completely water 'born' bugs if you want to say. they went so far to make sure all these insects/arachnids [scorpions are arachnids did you know] are so well thought out to fit these characters

Description: "If fate favors those with diligence, why do I remain drifting on treacherous waters?" Shes the only one who in this line up hasnt been clearly identified as a 'killer' however thinking back to her original story is the drought enough reason to place the charge of manslaughter on her if people are deprived of enough resources they starve? or will we find something later

what we will find in future grace letters, her debut S shes to take the lives of the wretched in her b tier here she had to have killed someone to end up here matching the other prisoners in that regard

in rosemary shes aligned with uriel labs and the death of bella donna among who knows who else that dm caused from the employees work

#identity v #idv #vera nair #norton campbell #ganji gupta #idv naiad #idv ripper #marrow talks

30 notes · View notes

everkait · 4 months

Text

regulus arcturus black headcanons heavily featuring sirius black (obviously)

this is kinda a lot and also all over the place but i really had to get it out, so here we go. feel free to disagree and all that but please keep it polite. edit from after i finished it all: this is kinda more like a summary of what i imagine his entire life to have been like than a few headcanons but who cares. have fun reading. also, english is not my native language so i��m sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes you may find.

when they were kids, sirius and regulus were really close. like, stupidly close. reg idolized sirius and sirius wanted to protect his little brother at all costs. they were each other’s favourite person and were always together. they had an age gap of roughly one and a half years, with sirius being born early november ’59 and regulus being born in late may ’61. while they were close as children, it was also obvious that they were completely different people. sirius was extroverted, loud, rebellious, self-confident, loved attention and would always speak up if something wasn’t to his liking, he didn’t mince his words. regulus on the other hand was more the quiet, reserved type; he was introverted, almost but not quite shy, unwilling to step out of his comfort zone, had a fear of disappointing other people and shied away from confrontations. he wasn’t self-conscious but he also wasn’t as self-confident as sirius was. both of them however, could be quite vicious and cruel with their words if they wanted to be. that was something they learned from both their mother and their cousin bellatrix.

regarding their relationships with their family, while i do think that walburga and orion black were abusive, i’m not entirely certain how severe that abuse actually was. definitely not as abusive as some people make it out to be, like regularly using the cruciatus curse on the kids or something like this, but some kind of abuse was there. i also think that the black parents definitely preferred sirius to regulus. sirius was the older one, the clever and self-confident child, the perfect heir to the black family. regulus knew of this but it didn’t really matter to him because he wasn’t interested in being heir in the first place. oftentimes people make narcissa regulus’ favourite cousin but i think in the early days it was bellatrix, who he liked most. he didn’t really get along that well with narcissa and andromeda because they both kinda saw him as a little kid who wasn’t worth their attention. bella on the other hand never treated him as anything lesser because of his age which is why he liked her best. but another crucial point and reason why reg adored bella was the simple fact that she was a lot like sirius. and seeing as sirius was always regulus’ favourite, he felt most comfortable with bellatrix because she was so much like sirius.

and then came hogwarts. when sirius went to hogwarts he would write a lot of letters to reg but they gradually became less and less over the course of the year. one name that was very frequent in all of the letters reg received from his brother was james potter. sirius talked a lot about james potter. so much so that regulus started to get annoyed by it. this only got worse by the time sirius came back for the holidays because the only thing he would talk about was his best friend james, james this and james that. regulus loathed james potter before he had ever met him.

the sorting however, is kinda complicated. let’s talk about sirius first. while walburga and orion were obviously outraged at his sorting i think, behind closed doors and never ever to his face, walburga was actually sorta proud of sirius for doing something no one in their family had ever done before. she saw it as him, a black, quote-unquote ‘conquering’ the gryffindor house. but she was still very much against it because it wasn’t slytherin and so those two sides were constantly warring with each other. she, however, made it very clear to regulus that there was no way he was going to be sorted anywhere but slytherin, she would let one non-slytherin kid slide, but there was hell to pay for him if he wasn’t sorted according to her wishes. i think with sirius, gryffindor was definitely his true house but i read a fic once where his true house was actually slytherin but he made the hat sort him into gryffindor as an act of rebellion. i immensely enjoy this idea but in the end i decided against incorporating it in my own headcanon because i think sirius fits better with gryffindor than slytherin. i still think he could’ve made slytherin work if he wanted to, but gryffindor was where he belonged. now, regulus’ sorting. his sorting is less complicated i think. for him there was never really a question to begin with. he always knew he was going to go to slytherin. simply because that was the way to go to not disappoint his parents and disappointing his parents wasn’t something he could take. i like the idea of a ravenclaw regulus so i think the hat would’ve wanted him there but regulus was enough of a slytherin so that the hat sent him there without needing much convincing.

the sorting is also what kinda caused their relationship to rapidly deteriorate. cracks had already started to form during the one year sirius spent alone at hogwarts but after regulus got sorted is when it really fell apart. i think regulus himself didn’t have that much of a problem with sirius being sorted into gryffindor. he may not have liked it, but it didn’t make sirius any less of a pure-blood, less of a black. so when sirius was so incredibly disappointed with regulus’ own sorting he didn’t understand it and felt betrayed by his brother. it didn’t help that james was always around and regulus refused to have anything to do with him at all so their relationship slowly got worse until they eventually just stopped talking. of course, it wasn’t just the sorting and all that, it was also regulus’ views on muggle-born’s and the dark lord, which were more aligned with their parents’ views than sirius’ own. which is something sirius couldn’t accept but since regulus was unwilling to change his mind, their interactions became less and less. this is also when he got close to narcissa. cissy is born in ’55 which makes her six years older than reg. which means, depending on when she was born, she was either in sixth or seventh year when regulus started hogwarts. since she was his only cousin still at hogwarts and since sirius was a gryffindor, she took him under her wing and the two sort of became friends. she was a lot like him, also being quiet and reserved and not liking conflict, so he liked spending time with her. i don’t think he had a lot of friends, i think of him more as a loner. there are barty crouch jr. and evan rosier who people often hc as his friends and while i certainly think that’s possible, i still think he didn’t really hang out with a lot of people. he spent most of his time in the library because he really enjoyed magic and all the things there were to learn about it.

snape is also something i’d like to talk about real quick. i’ve seen different opinions on his relationship with reg everywhere on the internet but i personally think their relationship was one of mutual disinterest, bordering on dislike on snape’s side. i think there is no way for snape to actually somewhat like reg. look at how much he loathed harry for being james’ son. he’d hate reg on principle for being sirius’ brother. so no, they weren’t friends. the lupin thing comes next. i’ve read a fic once where everyone in slytherin knew remus was a werewolf which i thought was a bit farfetched. i like the idea of reg knowing about it and i think a case can be made for it. even though reg liked to pretend otherwise, he did care about sirius so he would oftentimes scrutinise the things the marauders did and so he would eventually find out about remus being a werewolf. it didn’t really endear remus to him, but nothing could trump his dislike of james. the pranks the marauders pulled also didn’t help with his opinion on them. and even though he hated their behaviour he could never quite manage to completely hate sirius because sirius was still his brother. so he started to blame james instead and held him accountable for everything that, in regulus’ opinion, went wrong with sirius, because it was a lot easier to hate james than to hate his brother.

regulus’ grades were never bad, but they were also never as good as sirius’. everything came easy to sirius, while regulus had to work hard to get good grades. and as much as he might try, he was never as good as sirius, which greatly frustrated him. he started to feel inferior to sirius somewhere around his third or fourth year because it felt like it all just didn’t matter in his parents eyes, he could never be as good as sirius. even though sirius was a gryffindor and rude and rebellious and not the heir his parents wanted. and because he and sirius weren’t close anymore, his parents and their opinion was the only thing he had left. one of the only things that he had and where he genuinely felt it was his own, was quidditch. a lot of people make sirius into a quidditch player as well, mostly a beater, but i think he didn’t play. quidditch was always regulus’ thing and he started to play as a seeker for the slytherin team somewhere between his third and fourth year.

now sirius’ fifth year and regulus’ forth year, the school year of 1975-1976 begins. a lot of stuff happened in that year for sirius, but regulus was less affected. first comes the prank. and while i really want regulus to know about it, purely for the angst and disappointment, i just don’t see a way for him to actually know. (to explain why i want him to know, while reg doesn’t like sirius’ friends it is obvious that sirius cares about them, and since reg hasn’t completely managed to get rid of his idolization of his brother from their childhood, even though he usually ignores it until it goes away, it would devastate him to find out that sirius would betray his friend like that.) as i said, i just don’t think it’s feasible for him to know. like, i want him to. but how? it’s not like snape is gonna tell him. and i don’t think sirius, remus or james are so keen on telling him about it either. so how would he know? there is no way for him to know and as much as i want otherwise, this is how it’s gotta be. he doesn’t know and he never finds out about it. the next major thing that happens is snape’s worst memory at the end of the school year. and for that, regulus simply wasn’t present. he was at the library and heard about it later and since he isn’t close with snape i don’t see him having such a big problem about it.

during the summer between regulus’ fourth and fifth year is when it gets juicy. this is the summer when sirius runs away to the potters. i’ve thought a lot about this and how i wanted to do it. i like the dramatic route where regulus basically makes sirius go without him because he knows that sirius is absolutely miserable here at home. but i just don’t really think that fits. i went with what i think could be the most realistic route according to what we know from canon, sprinkled in is of course some self-indulgence because i couldn’t help myself. sue me, i don’t care. so, it’s summer, everything is as it always is. sirius has some kind of argument with walburga and it gets very heated. when he leaves and goes upstairs he vents about his mum and how horrible everything is. he happens upon regulus who’s currently on the way back to his room and overhears him vent. regulus, who in this moment really cannot stand his brother, maybe they also had an argument beforehand, maybe something else happened or maybe it was just suddenly too much for him, kinda explodes. he gets really angry at sirius and tells him something along the lines of ‘if it’s really this awful, why don’t you just fucking leave?’, and sirius stands there, dumbstruck, while regulus goes back to his room. and sirius thinks, why don’t i? and he just can’t seem to get rid of the idea to leave and he doesn’t feel like there is anything left for him there, so eventually he packs his bags and leaves. and just like that, he is gone.

this is obviously not what regulus intended when he said that to him and now he doesn’t know how to feel. part of him thinks good riddance, another, smaller part, the one that knows that sirius despised their home, hopes that his brother is happier now and is glad that he is gone, but the largest part of him feels betrayed. he feels betrayed because sirius just left, because even though they haven’t been getting along these past few years, that doesn’t change the fact that they are brothers and that has to mean something, right? right? he also feels betrayed, because sirius didn’t even talk to him, he didn’t say goodbye and he didn’t ask regulus if he wanted to come with him. regulus knows he probably wouldn’t have wanted to come but he would’ve appreciated it if his brother had at least given him a choice. because he doesn’t want to deal with these thoughts and feelings he mostly represses them and refuses to think about them. (okay, so in case you hadn’t noticed, the self-indulgent part is when i make reg be the one to give sirius the idea to run away because just imagine him having to realise that sirius ran away because he basically told him to. imagine the pain and guilt and betrayal that it’s going to make him feel. such joy. am i evil? no, i just love to hurt my favourite characters a little. hurt/no comfort at its finest. and really, canon sirius & regulus are a fucking gold mine for hurt/no comfort. i just really have a thing for complex sibling dynamics full of hurt, angst, betrayal and love. i’m not really into romantic ships all that much anymore and sirius & regulus are just like catnip to me. ah, i love them. but, i digress, back to the text.) then there is of course walburga and orion to talk about, because i don’t think they would’ve just let sirius go without a fight. they are a witch and wizard and sirius’ parents, there surely is a way for them to get him back, by force if necessary. so regulus goes and convinces them that it’s better to let sirius go. he would never agree with them and fight them every step of the way and regulus knows he isn’t their first choice but isn’t it better than trying and failing with sirius? eventually, they reluctantly agree but walburga threatens him to never ever step out of line. the whole sirius debacle has severely damaged their reputation with the other pure-blood families already and they cannot afford for it to get any worse than it already is.

then regulus’ fifth and sirius’ sixth school year starts. and sirius had somewhat of a change of heart during the rest of the summer and feels a bit guilty for not talking to regulus before he left. so now he wants to speak with him. but regulus doesn’t want to speak to sirius. he still feels betrayed but he also feels like sirius should be thankful to him because he convinced their parents to let sirius go and an even smaller part hopes that sirius is happy. but regulus bottles all that up and ignores it and when they eventually do speak to each other he is an ass. they have a big argument and nearly start cursing each other and at the end of the argument sirius says something along the lines of, ‘james is a better brother to me than you ever were’, and that deeply hurts regulus and sirius kinda immediately regrets it but he can’t take it back now that it’s out there and regulus leaves him standing there and from then on doesn’t allow them to ever talk again. a few days later james corners him because he thinks regulus said or did something since sirius has been really sad for a few days and reg basically tells him to, ‘fuck off, you already stole my brother from me, what more do you want?’, and that’s really the end of it. this is the only time james and regulus ever talk to each other and afterwards regulus hates james even more.

something else, that regulus is kinda proud of because his brother never managed it, is the fact that he makes prefect. there is only really one reason i made him a prefect though and that’s because i wanted him to have some kind of relationship, connection or whatever with lily. i wanted regulus black and lily evans to know each other and the most likely way for that to happen is for reg to be a prefect. lily is a prefect as well and they get assigned some patrols together. and at first he’s really against it because she’s like a muggle-born and all that and i know, i’ve mostly been avoiding all that until now but it really wasn’t relevant. because he simply never really interacted with other people a lot. he spends most of his time in the library and while he certainly has some blood supremacy views he’s kept them mostly to himself since he doesn’t really interact with other people outside of slytherin all that much. lily evans is kinda the first time he’s really been confronted with a muggle-born and while he doesn’t like her because of it he is also perfectly courteous towards her because he doesn’t see a point in being rude. he isn’t stupid and he knows she is a brilliant witch who’d probably be able to kick his ass, so he doesn’t really want to be on her bad side. over time however, he starts to get used to it and begins to actually somewhat enjoy their conversations because she’s witty and clever and he finds himself liking her to his utter horror. he develops a similar attitude towards her that snape had during most of their friendship (minus the crush), in that he still retains his blood supremacist views but starts to think that lily might be the exemption to the rule. other muggle-born magicals might be bad but she isn’t. he of course would never talk to her with other slytherins present but alone, just the two of them, they can have a nice polite conversation. and even though he doesn’t notice it really, talking to lily actually starts changing his perception of muggle-born’s a little bit. it’s not enough however, because at the same time talks about the dark lord become more frequent and he gets more and more fascinated.

regulus is now sixteen and summer holidays come around. he learns more about the dark lord and starts hanging up paper clippings in his bedroom. he’s really into the whole thing. when school starts again, he still occasionally goes on patrol with lily, but she and james are now together, which kinda sours his opinion of her since he still despises james. and then christmas holiday rolls around, and that is when he finally gets to join the dark lord and his cause. his once favourite cousin bella somehow caught wind of his admiration of the dark lord’s cause and pulled some strings which allow reg to join earlier than is common. he is still only sixteen which means the trace is applied to his wand, meaning he can’t really do much for the dark lord’s cause. he’s also still at school so he’s severely hampered in what he can do for the dark lord. regulus feels like he should be doing more but it’s not like he can change his age and make himself grow up faster. he eventually accepts his place and becomes responsible for spying at hogwarts to the best of his abilities and also starts researching things like obscure spells and rituals for the dark lord, who notices his passion for all things magic. he goes back to school and ends his non-friendship with lily, both in an effort to protect himself from the dark lord’s wrath and to protect her as well although he refuses to admit that to himself.

regulus may have joined the death eaters now, but he still hasn’t entirely grasped the reality of what it means to be one himself. that, however, changes, when he turns seventeen and, during the summer holidays, joins a raid. he witnesses his fellow death eaters kill, maim and torture with pleasure and it makes him sick. he manages to avoid most of the raids during the summer holidays by claiming to want to study to get the best grades possible to be of as much use to the dark lord as possible. the dark lord also prefers to have him research things for him, mostly in the extensive black library, which regulus has navigated since he was a child and which is protected from interference through people not of the black family. but regulus cannot avoid all raids and during one of them he accidentally kills a man when he burns his house down, thinking nobody was in the house any longer. this deeply traumatizes him and when he goes back to hogwarts for his seventh year he becomes very reclusive. he is still knee deep in denial though and tells himself he should get stronger and to learn to stomach all of the things that are happening. he buries himself in prefect duties and studying and all in all has a pretty miserable time. and like, this is it. he’s in his seventh year now. it’s 1978 and he’s gonna die in 1979. and i have this idea, which i really like, which is, that he dies on the day that lily and james tell sirius that they are expecting a child. like, nobody would ever know that that was the day he died but it’s really tragic in my opinion. so, yeah. but we’re not there just yet.

and then the christmas holidays happen. and that’s it, the beginning of the end. for regulus. i feel like there definitely would be a lot of research involved for reg to find out about the horcrux because i don’t think voldy would have told kreacher everything about it. and i haven’t talked about kreacher at all yet, i know, so here we are. after sirius left, aside from his parents, kreacher was the only one reg had left so i feel he got even more attached to him. when they were kids, walburga would usually take care of sirius because he was the heir, while she left reg in kreacher’s care, which is why they became so close. but still, their relationship was never an equal one, and as much as they may have loved each other, kreacher was still a servant to the black family who, above all, had to listen to walburga black. so, back to voldy and his horcruxes. when the dark lord asked for a house elf reg volunteered kreacher, because he didn’t really think anything would happen to him. yes, the dark lord was cruel to muggles and muggle-born’s but they deserved it, it wasn’t like kreacher had ever done anything except serve. but then, when kreacher, on regulus’ orders, finally returned, regulus had to realise that the dark lord didn’t care at all. it was this, an attack on his beloved elf, what finally opened regulus’ eyes. he had told himself that it was alright and that it was okay and that it was right, but he could no longer believe in it. regulus had witnessed the dark lord torture some of his own followers and had told himself they were just rightfully being punished but after seeing what had happened to kreacher he couldn’t deceive himself any longer. he thought about brilliant and kind lily evans and that it was all wrong. he thought about his brother who had been right all along. and he thought about kreacher who had never done anything wrong in his life. he, however, decided to give the dark lord one last chance to kinda quote-unquote ‘redeem’ himself, at least in regulus’ eyes. regulus’ last hope is, that whatever the dark lord did that left kreacher so injured, was important enough to make it right, although in his heart he knows that this is not the case.

so, after acquiring all possible information from kreacher, he spends the rest of the school year researching. he’s immensely overworked because at the same time he also has to study for his exams but somehow he manages it all. i don’t see him figuring the horcruxes out at hogwarts with only the hogwarts library at hand but i’m toying with the idea of having him find out the dark lord’s real identity. i kind of like that. once he’s back home after the exams he finally has a break through and figures out that what riddle hid was a horcrux. and i’m of the opinion, that the word horcrux isn’t entirely new to him. like, he’s part of the black family. they are as dark as they come. i’m sure he’s already heard about horcruxes before. and not even the blacks are mad enough to mess with soul magic. so yeah, regulus is not impressed with the dark lord. like, not at all. the idea of one horcrux is already ludicrous enough so i don’t know if he should be thinking that there could be more of them. but on the other hand, maybe he suspected there could potentially be more but since he had no idea where to even start looking for them and only knew the definite location of the one and didn’t see another way for this to go down and him surviving since there was no way in hell he would let kreacher die. and he also couldn’t ask anyone else because he wasn’t sure sirius would actually trust him since it had been like three years since they’d last talked and he also didn’t want to get his brother in danger.

anyway, after finally figuring out the horcrux during the summer, this leaves reggie shocked. he doesn’t know what to do. he kinda by now low-key wants the light side to win but he now realises that they can never win, because the dark lord made a freaking horcrux. he can’t be defeated. and regulus really wants to talk to sirius now because sirius is his big brother but there is no way this is happening. he just can’t. he’s scared that sirius doesn’t believe him but he is also scared that he does and he just doesn’t know what to do. the only thing regulus knows is that the horcrux needs to be destroyed. he thinks about running away. he’d kinda really like to run away. but then he has to think about sirius and about lily evans who are both fighting this war on the right side and he feels guilty. and he thinks about kreacher who was hurt by the dark lord’s actions. and so he makes a decision. he decides to retrieve the horcrux. he doesn’t really care about a lot of people but he feels guilty about the things he has done and so the decision to steal the horcrux is made because he wants to do something right and good for once, but he also does it for kreacher, for sirius and for lily evans. he wants revenge for kreacher and he wants sirius, and to a lesser degree lily, to live in a world free of the dark lord. and for that to happen the horcrux needs to be destroyed. so he makes his plan.

harry was born at the end of july ’80, meaning he was conceived late september ’79. i don’t really know when people tell their close friends that they are expecting a child? but since the war was going on and there were maybe missions i think it’s fair to say they might not have been able to tell him immediately. so they told their friends they were expecting a child in between late-november and early-december in my opinion. and the day they finally told sirius was also, coincidentally, the day regulus chose to go to the cave and willingly walked to his own death.

so, that’s it. okay, not quite. something else i wanted to say, i once read a really interesting tumblr post that proposed the idea that regulus didn’t actually die in that cave because voldy wouldn’t want to immediately kill whoever tried to steal his horcrux. he’d want to incapacitate them and eventually interrogate them and then kill them himself. so… reg might still be alive in something like a stasis charm down on the bottom of the lake, sleeping, waiting to be found. okay, now i’ve made myself sad.

something that didn’t really fit anywhere chronologically but is still a headcanon of mine and i wanted to mention it since it involves sirius and regulus. so, when lily married james her name changed from lily evans to lily potter. i like to think, that occasionally, sirius would still call her evans and it was his nickname for her. he also called her lily and lils more often than not but occasionally he’d call her evans. and if regulus were to ever accidentally meet her after she had gotten married, he’d also call her evans. he doesn’t even know his brother does it. regulus would just do it automatically because he’d refuse to call her potter since he kinda loathes james but he also somewhat likes lily but he also wouldn’t call her by her first name, so evans it is. and this would remind lily of sirius of course and she’d think it’s cute that they have this similarity. and also, when she gets together with james and starts to learn a bit more about sirius she’d notice a lot of similarities between him and reg. she kinda was somewhat non-friends with reg for a year after all. and it would make her sad.

okay, this is it. more than 5k words about regulus black. didn’t think i had it in me.

#harry potter #regulus black #sirius and regulus #sirius black #regulus arcturus black #headcanon #harry potter headcanon #regulus black headcanons #this is basically what i imagine regulus life to have been like #i try to stay as close to canon as i can #regulus and sirius deserve all the love #black brothers #regulus deserved better #harry potter headcanons #i want a regulus and lily friendship #don't ask me why

13 notes · View notes

crime-soncloud · 4 months

Text

For @mizuribbons (mod Mizuki in @proseka-headcanons ) since they wanted to hear my gender HC's for pjsk, and also it's good to get them! So sorry for spamming some tags, and with no delay:

My Gender Headcanons for Project Sekai Characters

Ichika Hoshino: Transfemme, she/star, stolen from the two different Mod Ichika's from both the headcanon blog and the L/N incorrect quotes blog. Transistions in middle school, after getting gender envy from Miku, defines herself as a trans girl, and only L/N, and their families know, not due to fear just never felt the need to. Bought a Blahaj for everyone in L/N, and will wear some small pins, with unironed flag in room. No fashion sense (Mizuki and Saki save star)

Saki Tenma: Transfemme, She/her, transistions in hospital (was how she found out), fairly public, has so many pins, loves the transgender symbols (blahaj, flag, celeste) and defines herself as a trans girl. Blahaj all over social media, and her Trans flag is often fashioned into a cape. Perfect fashion

Shiho Hinomori: AMAB Non-binary, he/she/they pronouns (the only reason I'm mentioning assigned at birth is because all of L/N transitioned from male) first to transistion, and doesn't hide it but doesn't talk about it. No symbols, definitely prefers being called Non-binary but fine with being called female by close people. L/N, their families, and Minori + Kohane know. Has NB flag in bedroom and blahaj right in the center of bed (never admits it) and considering Neo's. Knows what he likes to wear

Honami Mochizuki: Transfemme she/her, transitioned last, just before High school. Won't tell anyone, because of the stuff that happened in the past, and same as Ichika, only L/N, Shizuku and Tsukasa know (plus parents and unnamed siblings) Blahaj on bed but flag (gifted by saki) kept neatly in closet just in case. Alright fashion but dresses like a grandma

Honami and shiho to a lesser extent both fall into a category where multiple hc's I use, normally cis, but also Tmasc NB for Shiho. Tmasc/cis Ichika and Saki nahhh not personally mine (but i don't mind others, and I know Tmasc Ichika popular but I prefer fashion disaster/butch Transfemme Ichika)

Minori Hanasato: transfemme, she/her (do you see a pattern yet /silly), transistioned early on (like junior school) when she was introduced to Idols. Doesn't share it much, especially in Idol mode because of how it would treat her, but like literally all her friends, especially Shiho and Kohane, and a fairly consistent group in the MMJ fandom know. Ends up (when I eventually write it) coming out on stream along with another character (ooo mysterious), calls herself trans girl

Haruka Kiritani: cis, she/her but considering she/they, hasn't properly considered it because she's always been too busy ("I know something's going on but I've got idol work to do). Not much to say

Airi Momoi: Transfemme, she/her, same rough story as Minori but hid it much earlier and better, and realised slightly later than Minori. Only Shizuku, Ena, Akito, and later Minori knew, before also coming out during the stream. Bought a bunch of stuff with Minori (Blahaj donated by Mizuki and also Ichika) and has regular segment about queer stuff in Idol culture.

Shizuku Hinomori: a difficult one, but I think Cis. Would probably not have ever properly thought about it, but would use she/they eventually. Idk I don't have many ideas about it.

Shizuku could also be transfemme and I'm great with it, and Tmasc/NB I can vibe with. Don't really feel interested with other gender headcanons. All the idols have amazing fashion

Kohane Azusawa: Cis... I haven't got much to say, but literally any gender headcanon I'm alright with. I haven't properly thought about it before but none really resonate hugely (although do give me propaganda). Probably uses they/them along with either she/her or he/him. Demi something?

An Shiraishi: Cis (with she/they) or Transmasc (he/they) mainly because of the dynamic with Mizuki. Mid fashion sense, needs Help from Akito and Mizuki, but does have a few pins and Blahaj (courtesy of Mizuki) if Tmasc, and Fine either with Male or Non-binary. If trans, learned from Mizook and Public-ish: VBS, family, Haruka, Nene, Rui, Minori all know... Also Ichika and Shiho kinda know. Doesn't really care for labels

Akito Shinonome: alright... So either Transmasc with he/him, or transfemme with she/her, I slightly prefer Femme but both are amazing. If masc, realized when young, if Femme then Ichika, Rui, and Mizuki dressed her up and there was just a "... Shit this is me" moment before breaking into happy tears. Either fine fashion with Masc, or horrendous with Femme and needs Mizowoki help (I've started making Zukis name more difficult to read). No merch (but Mizuki anonymously gives him/her a blahaj) and only Ichika, Rui, Mizuki, Toya, and eventually Ena (I'll be getting to him/her later) know. Defines as trans boy/girl

Toya Aoyagi: same kinda deal, either Masc or Femme, he/they or she/they and some kind of Neo's. If Masc, his father is fine with it, if Femme... Then they're getting there (came out after Main story if femme, pre story if masc). Tenmas (and Ichika and Mizuki weirdly enough) know for masc, and Only Mazoki knows for femme. No symbols, and horrid fashion either way, Akito and Zuukai desperately help (Akito has no idea why). Defines as trans (woman/man)

VBS is difficult, literally any allignment I'm fine with, the Cis Akito/Toya I'm fairly ambivalent to, and Transfemme An is fine (really good in the right context with Mixukzo) but everything else I HC strongly. Femme Kohane is pre story, Masc or NB is during the first arc.

Tsukasa Tenma: once again Femme or Masc, Masc before the main story (switched names with Saki) if Femme then it takes embarrassingly long (like everyone knows except her, and has to be basically pushed to the answer). No fashion, needs literally everyone's help, and Gets so much merch from L/N, and WxS. Very public, Either he/STAR or she/STAR (capital letters important /silly) and STAR had an entire performance/show to present STARs coming out. BIG ass flag. I should probably do a full post for him/her but for now this is it

Emu Otori: cis or Tfemme, she/her and Fun/funs. Extremely public, all the merch (including drawings of flags next to actual flags) and dresses exactly how fun wants, but from the outside is a fashion disaster.Knew very early on, from her sister (who is also transfemme) All the Blahajs, pins, lots of stuff. Happy to talk about it, but is aware of transphobia, but is ready to deal with stuff. I might elaborate more in the future

Nene Kusanagi: again, Femme or masc. Either way knew before main story, and either way he/she/they. Rui and Mizuki know, and then the rest of WXS and Ichika found out. his parents and Rui's parents also know, and that's it, very careful about being out because of a similar reason to Honami, very nervous about others knowing. However they have got so many flags, pins, and Blahajs from WXS and Ichika. Somehow just as bad fashion sense as Tsukasa, but does not realise it. Luckily Akito and mizu can help (with a fair amount of arguments).

Rui Kamishiro: transfemme, she/her and a wide array of Neo's from a variety of places. She is a pronoun magpie (and I'll use them throughout). So Show knew since she met Mizuki (gender crisis as soon as zey found out about being trans) and hid it until High school, specifically meeting Mizuki again, where they both worked to help transiston. However, doesn't hide being trans, and any shitty people are immediately sassed back. Once again no fashion sense, needs Mizowoki's help, and got loads of gifts from WXS. Fae absolutely helped Nene and Tsukasa come to terms with their own gender struggles. Army of Blahaj and flags.

I'm fine with all gender hc's for Rui, and Nene, apart from Cis Rui this being is NOT CIS (silly) but I prefer femme for both (though I do still like mascnene) and I think NB Emu or Kasa are fun. Also ciskasa.

Kanade Yoisaki: Kanade also hasn't really thought through gender stuff, too busy making music and saving Mafuyu, but would probably use she/they and be a demi girl. Has to learn from Ichika and Mizuki. Never thought about fashion, completely fucking useless with clothes, but that's a given.

Mafuyu Asahina: either Transfemme and Her mother was super manipulative and used it to try and get "the perfect daughter", also had never really been allowed to properly explore how she wants to express her gender. Or, Transmasc and learned online/from Mizuki, and immediately realised he fit with it, and instantly cut his hair (horrendously, Mizuki and Ena were horrified). Either way came out to N25 after a while, and that was pretty much it. Both ways, has no proper fashion sense and needed help. No symbols until Mizuki sent a small pin, which Mafuyu cares for immensely. He/they or she/they depending on gender (but needed to think about it with Mizuki) and considers neo's. Their father is fine, if a bit uninformed, but their mother is... Well it's Mafumom. There's a lot I should probably add to it, but that's it for now. Or maybe just cis but uses she/they

Ena Shinonome: this is reliant on Akito's identity. If He is transmasc, she is transfemme, but if Akito is transfemme, Ena is transmasc. Either way, Akito and Airi know, Akito and Ena actually came out to each other on the same time, and were annoyed at each other for stealing their moment, before genuinely supporting each other, and helping the other with transition. Ena is perfect with fashion..(and is fine dressing both feminine and masculine) and hair, and deliberately did not trade names with Akito. Same journey as Akito but flipped (if femme knew when young, if masc then Mizuki helped). Came out to N25 when Mafuyu did, and got a blahaj from mizuki immediately. Has a flag (perfectly ironed unlike Akito) and the siblings both have a blahaj (and will often steal each others) considered they/them but hasn't made a decision (basically Idk)

Mizuki akiyama: ... Do I even need to say? Transfemme, she/they, only out to Rui and An in the beginning (and family), but will eventually come out to friends (N25 when comfortable and Ichika when star asks genuinely). Obviously great fashion, hair, came out during middle school, not public at all. Has an army of Blahaj, and a very wrinkled flag. Weirdly enough I don't have much to say, but that's because it's all kinda obvious.

N25 all fit most trans hc's, apart from Mizuki. If you Headcanon Mizuki as cis or transmasc then honestly? Block me, I'm normally fine with other headcanons but this one is just like kinda non-negotiable. Nb or femme Mizuki or bust. Sorry for getting a bit rude but yeah.

Anyway... Rin and Len are both trans, one is masc and one is femme, one lies and one tells the truth, if you cannot figure out which then they won't let you pass (/silly) but yeah they're twins and trans

Luka, Meiko, and Kaito are all transfemme, and Miku entirely depends on who created the Sekai.

Anyway hopefully this is alright Mod Mizuki! And of course anyone can jump into my ask box and talk about it.

10 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 6 months

Note

i mean how sam always seems to have the final say, sam and his new gf got colby with someone they picked, sam dominates opinions during interviews even if colby speaks sam always has the final say, he says things like people shouldn’t live life via a book (talking on christianity whilst sitting next to his christian best friend) but then lives his own life via self help books and preaches them at every chance (whats the difference?). the structure of their videos now are basically everything sam wants to do (rituals and such), it was him and his family who made the financial decisions for the both of them and they share a bank account (this was probably smart when they were 16 and im sure they have personal accounts too)

i also saw people on twitter saying colby looks like hes starting to figure it out. how also sam would not have made it half as far in his career without eye candy colby standing beside him. how sam treated kat and how many colby is seeing similarities with his own relationship with him.

colbys codependent on sam so he would never walk away but i hope sam isnt taking advantage of him or manipulating him in anyway to make colby stay around.

a lot of this isn't really manipulation. at least i don't believe it to be.

sam is a control freak who thinks he's always right/is too stubborn to listen to others. and colby goes along with a lot of what sam says bc one, that is his best friend and business partner, and two, colby doesn't see himself as intelligent like sam so sam's able to get his way a lot bc colby won't rock the boat/trust his own opinions.

it would be manipulative if sam fed into those insecurities colby has and told him "yeah we should go with what i want bc your choices are poor" but colby actively deciding to go with what sam says just bc he thinks his idea is good is not sam being manipulative.

for everything else, i'll break it down how i think it is.

colby was going out with ms singer, k's other friend, before all going out with m. and that didn't work out so that's why k introduced m to colby and they hit it off. that's not really sam playing a part or manipulating colby to date someone just bc. i think that was just happenstance tbh.

sam just talks a lot more than colby. i personally think also as of recently colby seems disinterested in a lot of the outside content they have been doing, and i think that's from burnout and the fandom et large just constantly berating him and it tiring him out.

the christianity/self help thing is just sam being hyprocritical. it's also why i find his argument of not like astrologers to be stupid. just bc it don't make sense to you doesn't mean it's lesser than. i think it's dumb to read a book written by (basically) a get rich quick scheme artist who hasn't had any hardships but knows therapy speak relatively well, and for some reason that makes them qualified to tell me how to live my best life. but hey, to each their own lol

the structure of vids… eh, i think they both agree to that layout. and i think part of that also comes from the comments and what some ppl want as well.

sam's family being involved has less to do with sam and more to do with colby's family just not taking his dreams and career seriously. not to mention, sam's dad was already retired by the time snc were getting started so it makes sense that that man knows a thing or two more about business. and also he tried to be in their lives and it seems as if colby's parents (minus his mother) didn't so again, not really sam.

and the boys, i would assume, have both the business account and their own personal ones. they just talk about and use the same business account more (probably for tax write offs lol).

i do think colby wants time away from the brand and business, but i don't think it's sam's doing that makes him want to leave, at least not fully. i think the over working and the constant long hours/having little to no time off has definitely put a damper on things for colby. and some of that is also tied to sam wanting them both to constantly work and needing to do something "productive" at all times. but i think that's also why they have reduced their work load a lot.

i think in the long run colby will not be in this business as long as sam might want him to be/will be. colby seems about ready to dip out to me sometimes, but i think that also comes from the pressure of the fans and how mean they can be. how invasive they can be. how careless they continue to be towards someone they claim to love. colby keeps a lot inward, and this tied with his own personal struggles (along with his cancer and such), i think colby wants time away that he feels like he can't take. and whether that's bc of sam or other facts is not something we really know 100% about.

i believe they are both very codependent on each other, mostly bc, as they have mentioned, they are the only ppl in their lives they feel they can be 100% themselves around. not to mention every bad and good moment in the last 10+ years has had each other in it, so of course they are gonna rely heavily on one another. i do hope they eventually take some time to be by themselves, away from one another. just to get some space. i don't think that's happening any time soon, unless something major transpires.

but short answer, no. i don't think sam is being manipulative towards colby. i think colby can make his own decisions, regardless of sam. he actively chooses to be with sam daily. i'm sure if he didn't like it he would have left by now lol

#ask #personal #sg bs

8 notes · View notes

atlasira · 2 years

Text

Out of all of RC’s characters that I’ve encountered so far, Malbonte still remains one of my top favorite of all time. He’s so well written and compelling.

My first playthrough I sided With Him because, while his methods are controversial, his ideals made sense. On my most recent playthrough I chose to Stand Against Him and the different perspective was worth it.

(DISCLAIMER: I have not played HS2 yet, and am unaware of any new information revealed in HS2.)

Antagonists like Malbonte are simultaneously right and wrong which is a large reason why they’re some of my faves.

> How He’s Right

Malbonte is right in that a significant chunk of his path was the result of other people’s actions. His birth and (natural) abilities were not his fault. He did not ask Shephamalum to whisper in his ear and force him to be the only living immortal that knew of Heaven’s Secret. He did not ask his parents to murder a child. And he certainly did not ask Shepha to brutally split him in two and imprison the halves of himself for a millennium.

SHEPHA

Shepha fucked up. No, Shepha is fucked up, and the more I learned about Him in the Season 3 finale, the more agitated I got. Demon!Vicky alludes to it all the way back in Season 1, but she could not have known how accurate she was about Shepha’s corruption.

Shepha is not the symbol of purity He and the Angels believe Him to be. He offers support only as long as He has control over who gets it and how they use it. He explicitly says He wasn’t opposed to the oppression of Demons because he has lesser power over them, and therefore felt uncomfortable with them being treated as equals under his rule. He feels no shame sharing this bias.

And if you so choose, Vicky then has to beg to enlighten other immortals about Heaven’s Secret. This is up for debate, but I also felt that if she hadn’t been able to convince Shepha of the value in revealing the truth, He would’ve killed her “for the greater good” and to protect the Secret. He says He regrets not killing Malbonte as an infant, making it clear He is not opposed to murder if, in His eyes, it helps more than harms.

Malbonte was right in that everything that was done to him simply for being born was majorly fucked up. He is also right in saying Shepha is flawed. Shepha is not evil, but He is power hungry and corrupt, and change needed to come.

> How He’s Wrong

“SELF DEFENSE”

However, Malbonte’s most damning flaw is his narrow-mindedness.

While his rage and indignation are the understandable result of what came before, his actions after he escapes confinement are his own doing. He says several times that he does not want to kill certain people, but will “if he has to.” He does not have to, he is the aggressor here. Malbonte has the skewed belief that his war is in self defense when it is not.

While it’s true he was seen as a monster, that rumor was created and spread by immortals that, from what we see, have been gone for a long time. Aside from Eragon, most of the present day immortals only know Malbonte by what they’ve heard. They do not know anything about him personally. So now, as an adult capable of complex understanding and self expression, he could’ve introduced and explained the truth about himself. But he does not even attempt to.

I don’t fault him for his actions when he was nothing more than a spirit of hatred, that I blame on Shepha and Shephamalum, but once he and Bont merged, that was Malbonte’s opportunity to set things straight. Or at least try to — whether the Angels and Demons actually believed him isn’t the point. Malbonte faults all immortals for seeing him as a monster, but he does nothing to enlighten the ones of today (who know nothing about him!!) on how that’s not the case. Instead he proudly proves their inaccurate beliefs. He resorted to bloodshed without even attempting peace first.

UNCLEAR GOALS

Another one of Malbonte’s issues is that his solution is black-and-white with zero nuance. He intended to kill Shepha and replace Him as the ruler of all. But his exact plan were he to succeed gets confusing every time he explained it, and it quickly becomes clear he can’t make up his mind.

Sometimes Malbonte says he’ll place Demons on top because they’ve been mistreated for so long.

Sometimes he says he’ll make sure Demons and Angels are finally equal to one another.

So which is it?? Because these are VERY different approaches. The more time you spend with him, while he denies it, the clearer it is he’s more focused on revenge than brainstorming new political policies.

SHEPHAMALUM

He also just does not account for Shephamalum at all. One of Malbonte’s defining traits is his arrogance. Now, I fully understand that self confidence can be an act of rebellion against those that hate you. However, Malbonte’s arrogance is just too short sighted.

Malbonte is incredibly strong, but he still needed Shephamalum’s power/darkness to defeat Shepha. Let’s say he succeeds. What did he think Shephamalum was going to do once Shepha was gone? Did he think Shephamalum would just give him a thumbs up and then take a nap??

Malbonte says he only wants to change the world for the better, but he either could not see or simply didn’t care that he was obviously Shephamalum’s pawn to eliminate Shepha. And by removing Shepha and having a less powerful being take his place, there would be no one to challenge Him should Shephamalum find a way to return. Malbonte either could not figure this out (which I doubt) or cared more about getting his revenge than helping and “liberating” the immortals he swore the war was for (which I believe.)

It can be taken into account that Shephamalum was manipulating Malbonte since he was a child. Manipulation from childhood is always a sure fire tactic monsters use (ala Palpatine and Vader). On the other hand, Malbonte has proven to be quite intelligent. Well to me anyway lmao. So while manipulation can be a factor, I highly doubt he trusted Shephamalum 100% and didn’t suspect he was being used as a pawn. He simply didn’t care because, as I said earlier, his main goal was revenge on Shepha rather than true fairness, so Shephamalum’s ulterior motives was just a “cross that bridge when we get to it” issue in his eyes.

HONESTY

Malbonte is brutally honest with others, but he is not truthful with himself. He was not honest with himself about what his primary goal for the war was. He was not honest with himself about how Shephamalum only saw him as a pawn and how his actions would play a role in a much larger problem. And he was not honest with himself in that the immortals of today are not to blame for things that happened thousands of years ago.

> Despite Everything, He Was Needed

Malbonte is a flawed individual and as such, his methods and motivations were too. However, like other antagonists like him, I believe he needed to happen in order for there to be actual change.

Change only happens when there’s an interruption in routine. Malbonte’s return was a massive one. Am I saying his war was good? Not necessarily. (Am I saying his war was bad? Also not necessarily!) Regardless of how we view his methods, he revealed the truth about Heaven’s Secret, shined a spotlight on the discrimination Demons faced, and unveiled how inappropriate the Law of Segregation was.

For a time, he gave those who felt wronged a voice that all immortals were forced to pay attention to. Whether Vicky reveals the truth about Shephamalum or not, whether Malbonte survives the final fight or not, the world of immortals will never be the same.

> Conclusion

Malbonte continues be a very beloved character to me because of how complex his storyline and development are. He is very well written and I could probably talk about him all day.

#romance club #heaven’s secret #babbles #s: heaven’s secret #malbonte

111 notes · View notes