#i do wonder sometimes

[bugbugboy]

I thought this said fanfic and I had to re-read it, Hello? Sir? You want us to write what now?? Is it Sheers x Heaney?? Is it x reader? Are you into that sir?????? 💀

[katya-goncharov]

i mean what did they think would happen after november 5th and everything leading up to it. how did they think we'd react to all that and then to the finale

[yarnings]

New rule. If you're talking about a spiced tea drink, you're not allowed to be smug about knowing that you don't need to say "tea" again if the only indicator you're using is "chai". You've already ignored the meaning of the word by treating it as something that means "contains spices"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Year of the Dragon!

[bridoesotherjunk]

Why am I the first one to make this .

[blueskittlesart]

wait holy shit the coliseum au turns 4 today

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[markscherz]

I… do not understand tumblr live. Like, are there actually only about 50 people streaming across the whole platform at any one time? And why are so many of them just… people smoking? Or unoccupied desks? And why is nobody talking about frogs?

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be a half-baked theory, but I wonder how much of the "think of the children!!" ideals that are almost... aimed at women rely on the idea of women as Forever Children.

What I notice is that a lot of these ideas of corruption in youth are feminized in a way that evokes motherhood, but I also notice that many people blur the lines between women or anybody forced into or expected to be women and children so that they are as one.

[maomango-doodle]

(13 pages) Forlorn

[kittyandco]

does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do

[beanghostprincess]

There's just something so inherently beautiful about the way Luffy loves Sanji. Because his perception of Sanji, at the end of the day, is always "he's a good person". Plain. Simple. Easy like that. "You're just like that" is what Luffy tells him. He's just, basically, a kindhearted soul. And he could quite literally list all of his qualities, but he doesn't because he doesn't need to. Why would he do that when the best description for his cook is just saying he has a good heart? The way Luffy perceives Sanji is just so beautiful to me because, while Sanji sees himself as somebody unworthy of love and easily dispensable, Luffy sees him as the representation of kindness itself. For Luffy, food is the epitome of happiness and love. Hunger means wanting something. Eating means taking something you want. And food as a concept means being full. Hunger itself is a need your body asks for, and Luffy has never been shy about it and he takes and takes and enjoys himself until he's completely full. Sanji has been hungry his whole life but has never, not even once, thought about eating out of pleasure, but only need. His job is to cook and to serve and not to eat. And Luffy sees that as the most selfless act of kindness. To create and give food to the ones who need it and want it. Sanji makes others happy, and Luffy can't understand why he keeps depriving himself of the food (happiness) he makes. He does these things out of plain, simple kindness and without expecting anything in return, and Luffy sees that. Luffy sees Sanji's heart served on a silver platter because that's what Sanji offers him every time. And Luffy doesn't want Sanji's heart or selfless acts of kindness. He wants Sanji to be kind without harming himself in the process and actually take what he wants for once (eating). Luffy doesn't get why he keeps torturing himself and giving his everything to others when he could just share it. Sanji has so much frustration and rage and pain and sadness he won't let himself feel, and Luffy is quite literally the definition of "If you need to be mean, be mean to me" (from the song 'I don't smoke' by Mitski) and "If you gave me all the anger you can't swallow I would eat it gladly for you, just don't choke" (I just thought about this thing I'm such a poet).

[aquanutart]

chomp

[artseuki]

"It's Sunday, or as I like to call it, Magolor day!"

Totally forgot to share this earlier but Hi Howdy here's Magolor in all his wizardpilled glory asdlfkjn

Photography: @alagaesia-overlord

[butch-with-a-deep-voice]

I want to be needed. Not like, in a codependent way. I value my individual personhood too much for that. But for her to be possessive. Territorial. A little obsessed even. For us to go out and she won't stop giving subtle reminders that she's claimed this butch ass. Grabbing my arm. A light hand on my back. A little too dramatic/loud kiss on my cheek in front of others. Jumping on my shoulders when she gets excited. Pouting when I don't hold her hand for a long enough period of time. Sitting herself in my lap when at the bar regardless of how red my face gets. I want to go to the office, and when I go to check up on phone notifications she's just dropped little love notes. Maybe something to tease me, making it impossible to focus in the meeting I have in 20 minutes. For her to test my patience the entire work day whether it's in-office or at home. Because she knows the very second I'm alone with her she's mine.

I want to have to accommodate fashion choices because "ah fuck, I didn't realize she'd left a bite mark there". Because of course she did, I let her. She claws, bites, and yearns for my body and ensures the marks are there to show it. I don't like pain, but when it's that. When it's because something in her so primally needs me that it's like a vampire with blood, how could I say no. I'm hers after all. Hers.

I want to be at home, relaxing on my night to myself while she's out with the girls, and she sends me photo updates the entire time. Not as surveillance, but as a "yes I'm dressed this slutty but I'm still yours". To know that she can go out and be as sloppy as she likes and I know with certainty she's coming home to me at the end of the day to get worshipped. Destroyed. Devoured.

I feel so confident in situations like that. I stand tall. Take more risks. Drive myself to achieve more. I'm louder, laugh more, and more outgoing. Because she's claimed me. The way she acts some people will think it's a d/s relationship where I own her, but that couldn't be further from the truth. She's claimed me, and I handed her the lead with joyous serenity.