#i don’t even mean it as an insult it’s still the beginning of the movie it’s too early to be hating i’m still in the giving it a chance era

[livvyofthelake]

i’m sorry. this is the most boring movie i’ve ever seen in my life i cannot finish it tonight…

[indieyuugure]

Hi! Let me start off by saying that I absolutely adore your ROTP series. This is also one of the very few Rottmnt/2012 crossovers in existance that does justice to both verses and doesn't put a biases on any. I love this comic.

Now that aside, I need to get something off my chest. I wouldn't have gone on Anon but experience has taught me that opposing opinions will make the followers of a blog insult and harass you so I tend to err on the side of caution. You see, I Love Love Love TMNT. And I love 2012 series, it's something I relate to so much and grew up with. It's my most favorite version of TMNT.

But the thing is, ever since the Rise movie got released, I've been seeing nothing but slander against the 2012 series and it breaks my heart every time I come across it. It has escalated to an unfair point that I've seen even 2012 fans who love it just as much begin hating aspects of it. I mean, don't get me wrong, it does have its flaws but it's unfair how highlighted those select few flaws are to the point of extremely biased comparisons and blame games and general 2012 slander which half the time doesn't even comply with canon. Moreover, literally every TMNT has its flaws just the same.

And recently, I've been seeing an increase in posts on your blog that have 2012 slander undercurrents or simply blatant frustrations with it. I love the comic but keep seeing this hatred still is just... it hurts ya know. Like really actually hurts.

So if possible, can you plz tag such posts with something I can filter out? (And let us know what that tag will be?) You don't have to but I really really love your art and comics, it's just the 2012 slander again that hurts me and I don't want to see it anymore. I've been seeing it everywhere.

Again, plz don't take this the wrong way, it's just something that's been hurting me and I had to get it off my chest. And find a solution to it that doesn't involve blocking or unfollowing because I genuinely do love this fancomic

Thank you for your feedback!!💕 (seriously feedback is extremely appreciated to me!)

I sorry my posts came off as 2012 slander, I really never meant it like that. I will admit I do critique media pretty aggressively, but I never mean it in a hateful way. TMNT 2012 is one of my absolute favorite shows and I love everything about! It’s the weird quirky stuff about it that while yes, I will criticize, I still love. It wouldn’t be the same without it. Just like the weather, I will complain about it, but I don’t want it to actually change.

I will try to be more conscious of how my posts are perceived, I really never wanted there to be a bias on my blog. I love all of TMNT for all it presents, and I don’t want to ever be slanderous!

Thank you again for your kind nudge! I’m very thankful to have people like you who’ll tell me if I’m making a mistake! I truly do love TMNT 2012. I can’t fix what I’ve said, but now that I know, I can be sure to be more careful to not sound biased going forward.

Again, I’m very sorry it came off that way, I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I never want to harm a series’s reputation, especially one that I love so much!

You are truly appreciated!💕

I know this won’t fix the things I’ve said, but I’ll say 3 of my top favorite things about 2012:

I love the way they depicted characters! They do an amazing job using indirect characterization that makes the characters feel so real. The characters don’t have to tell you things about themselves, you learn about them from the way the interact with each other, the way they solve problems, the things they like and dislike, and even what they’re doing in the background! It really feels like you’re there getting to know these fun people and go on adventures with them! Truly amazing!

I love the way the turtles look! Seriously I think they look so cool, and at the same time cute. They’re visual designs inspired me so much in my art and I will watch hours on end of them because they’re just so freaking cool!

I love the way their stories are told! The episodes are so well paced that it never feels boring to watch an episode! Believe it or not, I have never once wondered how many minutes are left on an episode. It’s so good at sucking you in and addicting you, that while I was watching it for the first time, I was straight up binging it and would be forced to put it down by my parents. Several times I would stop to eat something and have that weird “wait, who am I? What is my life?” Thing you get from a really good story. The stories and arc pacing are so good that Indie TMNT, my original series is using massive inspiration from 2012.

Once again, I am truly sorry for coming off as slanderous. Thank you for being so brave and telling me what many people were probably thinking. I want to do better. Thank you! :]

[antianakin]

What are your thoughts on the 2003 clone wars and its portrayal of the Jedi? I do think it’s a fun cartoon and does work as an episode 2.5. Anakin’s portrayal is closer to the movies than TCW which is either a positive or negative depending on whether you like him or not. We do get some badass moments from Mace Windu and Fordo but the clones are portrayed as flesh droids with only Cody and Fordo having a bit more personality. One thing I don’t like is how it’s propped up by the anti Jedi, dudebro side of the fandom and is used to claim the Jedi don’t care about the clones. It does have a great moment with Barriss and Luminara, though.

So I've only seen like 30-50% of this show because I started watching it back when it was on YouTube a few years ago and then something was weird with one of the videos and it felt like it skipped a large number of episodes or they didn't work or something and I wasn't invested enough to keep trying to find it or to go back now that I have access to D+. All of which means my opinion of this show isn't the MOST informed it could be. Please take my opinions on this show with a grain of salt if that bothers you.

I think that the 2003 Clone Wars is relatively flat as a show, it's not intended to be that deep of an exploration of any of the characters and certainly not of the Jedi or the clones, so trying to see it that way feels like an exercise in futility to begin with. TCW on the other hand, despite its terrible episodic structure, IS sometimes trying to go for deeper explorations of the characters, the Jedi, the clones, and the situation they are currently in. 2003 Clone Wars often represented the battles as fun adventures and nowhere is this easier to see than in the Mon Cala episode with Kit Fisto which was directly adapted into TCW as a full four episode arc. The 2003 version is silly, full of little explosions and Kit Fisto just throwing off his cape very dramatically. The 2008 version starts with an assassination, it introduces a more nuanced political situation between the Mon Cala and the Quarrens, it has a whole coming-of-age story with Lee Char, it gets a little darker with its shark villain and what he's willing to do, and it brings in the Gungans as a legitimate army again. And I feel like that's just a fairly good representation of how 2003 Clone Wars treated its characters and its stories in comparison to how other media has treated the same characters and stories of this time period.

I wasn't that big of a fan of how this show represented Obi-Wan and Anakin either, especially Anakin. I think they leaned REALLY hard into Anakin as the whiny teenager, to an even greater degree than AOTC did in many ways, which just continues to make it unbelievable that he gets Knighted. The entire Knighting ceremony moment was ridiculous because Obi-Wan comes up to talk to him about how he's being promoted to Knight because of his maturity and Anakin immediately refuses to let him finish because he assumes Obi-Wan is coming to criticize him for something and he just starts getting really childish and unkind about it, to the point that he literally is insulting Obi-Wan and throwing Qui-Gon in his face as a comparison. And somehow Obi-Wan STILL thinks he's ready to be a Knight after that interaction, and it's... so so bad. I genuinely really hate the way 2003 Clone Wars handled Anakin's Knighting.

I don't love the way it portrayed Obi-Wan and Anakin in the earlier episodes I saw where Anakin's still a Padawan, there's nothing positive about their relationship. Obi-Wan is just an overbearing nag and Anakin is a childish asshole and there's zero nuance to them beyond that. Even Lucas realized they needed to have some positive moments added in to ensure viewers realized that these two characters were friends who enjoyed each other's company. Just because they struggle sometimes doesn't mean they don't care about each other and the best way to make sure that gets across is to make sure they HAVE positive moments together. The episodes of 2003 Clone Wars that I saw absolutely failed at that.

And when Anakin isn't being a childish asshole, he was being portrayed as basically no better than an animal, which I assume is supposed to represent his darkness starting to grow or something. But it's not some sort of animal instinct turning him into a slobbering beast who can't really control himself, these are active choices Anakin makes out of fear that he allows to become anger. TCW focused a lot more on the anger than the fear, but what I saw of 2003 Clone Wars didn't really handle this well, either. It's a theme that a lot of people who write for Star Wars seem to miss, that Anakin is actively making these choices WHILE KNOWING THAT THEY'RE BAD CHOICES. That's honestly the whole point and trying to pretend that he isn't, that it's out of his control, or that it's some sort of destiny, misses the entire message being sent with his story.

Also whoever designed Anakin seems to have had a pretty major bias against Hayden Christensen because boy is the model for Anakin absolutely fuck ugly for no good reason.

I don't know that there was anything actively anti-Jedi in anything I saw in the 2003 Clone Wars show, but it was also just kind-of intended to be a pretty simple adventure show that didn't allow for a lot of time to explore anything with any real depth.

I don't hate it, but I don't love it, either. I know a ton of people really have a lot of nostalgia for it and I don't mind the episodes in a vacuum, they CAN be fun mindless little visual stories, but I also never think about it much and I have a lot of negative feelings about the way it handled Anakin. But again, I only saw SOME of this show and never finished it, so my opinion is based on what I DID see and doesn't take into account some of the later episodes I never got to.

[stonegoldsxcrxt]

Okay so I honestly haven’t been active on tumblr in forever. But if I’m ever thinking of star wars, I like to take a peek at your blog because I feel like you are one of the few who loves Luke as much as I do. But what I want rn is to give my two cents on this whole acolyte thing. And I hope you don’t think I am trying to come at/attack you or anything of the sort. This is just my (somewhat complicated?) take on things. Sorry if this gets super long. I have many thoughts. And I hope I don’t confuse at all while trying to explain! Unfortunately, I’m not very eloquent lol. Anyway:

Personally? I’m kinda intrigued by the Osha/Qimir dynamic. And this is coming from someone who honestly severely disliked the sequels—especially kylo and reylo (but a lot of it was due to fandom bs as well). I mean, I’ll admit some of it is due to my own bias because this time around I’m glad both of the actors are hot and they are both absolutely acting their asses off. And maybe there hasn’t been enough for you in the show (I get it tbh, the episodes are short and there’s only so much you can do with 8 episodes and this is honestly a problem with D+ and a lot of streaming services now), but I can see what Leslye was aiming for with the dynamic. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is one of my fave movies so I definitely see the influence. But Headland did also point out that a lot of enemies to lovers is about one character going “I know there’s good in you!” or what the hell ever—and Osha didn’t do that. That’s something I can appreciate whereas in TLJ it seemed like Rey was all about freaking Kylo and was convinced there was still good in him even though the literal day before he had nearly killed both her and Finn.

I do disagree about there being no manipulation, though. Qimir IS being honest and vulnerable, but clearly he hopes to gain something with Osha from that. But whereas I didn’t buy any of it with Rey and Kylo, I can see how and why Osha might fall to the dark side. She is clearly conflicted about everything from her emotions to her very own identity. But Qimir is offering her a sense of clarity about that AND on her past. Osha loves and admires Sol deeply of course, but he has obviously been keeping something huge from her. And if it turns out he was majorly involved with whatever happened to her coven, it makes sense that Osha would then embrace whatever negative emotions that are brewing within her (even if Sol was slightly less involved the fact that he knew and never told her should rightfully make her angry). It will obviously destroy whatever faith she had left in the Jedi, but imo she might begin to question how it makes the Jedi any different from Qimir.

And now that I’ve explained that, I also wanted to say how I felt about some of the discourse. Fandom feuds are always annoying, but now that I’m essentially on the other side...? I’ve gotta say I am low-key offended and high-key pissed over it. I mean, if ppl don’t like Qimir or the relationship between him and Osha—fine. But I’ve seen some absolutely disgusting comments over this. Like someone on twitter (who ss a post of yours too) who was calling Leslye Headland’s lesbianism into question. Like idc if you don’t like the ship but there is literally no need for discussing her sexuality like that just because she likes a problematic ship you hate (which she literally created so idk what ppl expected anyways)!!! And then there are the “fans” (I use that term lightly) insulting Manny Jacinto’s looks (which is ridiculous cause the man is hot idgaf). And I honestly think that shit is hypocritical af since a lot of these ppl are fans who were rightfully upset at reylo/kylo stans for saying similar disgusting things about actual people.

I like quite a few villains in multiple fandoms, so to me it seems like the same ridiculous arguments. There’s nothing wrong with liking a fictional character who happens to be a villain. As long as no one’s trying to make excuses for their heinous actions (jokes are another thing) I don’t think it matters. It’s literally not that deep imo. And liking said problematic characters does not have anything to do with people’s real life morals. That’s just bullshit.

And again, it’s actually INCREDIBLY fucking hypocritical, ESPECIALLY coming from star wars fans who have been sexualizing villains like Darth Maul, Thrawn, and a young freaking Darth Vader for YEARS. But now it’s a problem with Qimir????? Not to mention the romanticization of other literal problematic ships like anidala or reylo. And I’ll be honest—as a Filipina????? I do feel like some of this is racially motivated because literally WHAT is the difference with Qimir and Osha/Qimir versus all of these other characters and ships?????? I think that’s what gets me heated is the hypocrisy of it all. And of course the fact that it’s all fictional anyway so I don’t know why it should fucking matter to some people if fans like a character or ship that they don’t.

Anyways...I think this is essentially all of my thoughts on the matter. Again, I hope I didn’t come across as rude or like I was attacking you. Like I said, it IS a bit complicated for me. Because as someone who hardly liked anything from the sequels, I was definitely cringing at the multiple mentions of reylo and kylo in Leslye’s recent interview. And yet....I see the vision.

hey!! so, there's a lot here and I do actually want to talk about all of it! I really appreciate you approaching this with nuance and being open to have a conversation. I'm gonna number my responses just so I know I covered everything I wanted to talk about and everything you mentioned.

One: I don't think there's anything wrong with being intrigued by a character dynamic like Osha and Qimir's, in fact I actually do find it very interesting from a psychological standpoint myself. I also don't think there's anything wrong with depicting a character dynamic like Osha and Qimir's, with one caveat, which is that you have to recognize it for what it is. I truly would LOVE star wars to approach it with the angle of "hey, this is how people can weaponize your own emotions against you, especially how a man may try (and even succeed) in manipulating a woman this way," and particularly what that looks like with the Force, because a LOT of Jedi and Sith principles are based around the acceptance (or aggravation!) of emotions. I think that's a totally interesting plot line that would actually be super fascinating to see. I also find it believable that Osha could, theoretically, be convinced by Qimir and turn (in fact I think your entire third paragraph is a very valid interpretation of what has happened so far). It's not that I don't think these are fascinating possibilities to explore. It's not that I don't think Osha joining the dark side is out of the question or even unreasonable, whatever the reason.

In fact, pre-interview, almost all of my criticism was pointed at the way the fandom immediately jumps to believing everything Qimir is saying without thinking critically about how he could be lying to Osha to get her to act the way that he wants her to. This comes from an intense place of frustration dealing with fandom in general who excuse the violent actions of men towards women (which is the reason why that one post doesn't actually even name Qimir or Osha, even though I did tag their names, since it applies to like a half dozen ships I can think of off the top of my head). In fact, I praised the writing of the acolyte in my breakdown post, assuming that Headland was purposefully creating all the cunning ways Qimir talks to Osha and all the tactics he appears to be using to manipulate her, and that this would be plot relevant. Whether Osha realized she was being manipulated and snapped out of it, or whether she never realized it, and fell to the dark side, and what that would mean for her, etc.

However, post-interview, things are different. No more am I simply dealing with a fandom that is willfully misinterpreting a toxic relationship as romantic, I am now dealing with the showrunner herself saying lots of things that disturb me. I can give her credit for not pulling the "there's good in him" card, but that's about as good as I can do. Headland may say that she does not intend the relationship to be manipulative, that she intends for Osha and Qimir to be equals, but if what she has presented to us onscreen does not read that way, then she has failed to accurately convey her message as the showrunner. You and I agree that Qimir is manipulating Osha, yet Headland says the opposite. I now have a showrunner for Star Wars, a massive franchise viewed by thousands, giving interviews saying that there is nothing wrong with this man's relationship with this young woman, but continuing to show the opposite. She can't have it both ways. The statement "Osha and Qimir are equals," is simply so far removed from the reality of what Headland has presented Qimir to be (a conniving man who is strong enough in the Force to eliminate a dozen Jedi at a time, and is so callus that he calls a girl an "it" after he's murdered her) that it's such an unbelievable statement I actually can't even believe people are buying it. I'm not saying that to be mean; what makes Qimir and Osha equals? Genuinely? That he cooks soup sometimes? That he disrobed in front of her? What about this relationship is equal?

Here's my bottom line when it comes to this discourse: I am sick of seeing young women getting treated like shit by men, and it getting romanticized as hot and desirable instead of what it is. I am sick of it whether the fandom does it, I am sick of it whether the showrunner does it, I am sick of it whether people in real life or in fiction do it, and I am allowed to feel that way.

Two: I won't be insulting Manny Jacinto in any capacity. He's doing a good job as an actor. I have acknowledged in past posts that he is obviously an attractive man.

If you think Qimir is hot, please, by all means, feel free to sexualize him in the manner that others sexualize Thrawn or Maul or anyone else. I'm an advocate of self insert fanfiction and of course (within reason), would find nothing wrong with that.

I am generally not a villain-lover, but there is nothing wrong with finding villains attractive or compelling! I haven't said there is. I have said that there's a problem within fandom and now literally within the media itself, with recognizing when a young woman is being mistreated by someone, sometimes because a lot of you are far more lenient on attractive men. The reylo fandom took this about twenty steps too far from 2015-2019 to the point where if you ask some of them, they still don't think Kylo even WAS the villain, and Headland is rapidly encouraging fans to take that angle with Qimir though I have given evidence to the contrary in spades.

There is a lot to be said about whether or not fiction affects reality. I believe it does, but I obviously do not believe that liking an evil character makes you evil. That being said, while not all fiction has a moral, all fiction has a theme, and you as the audience do take lessons from themes, whether you realize it or not; it sticks with you and may help you form your opinion on a similar set of circumstances you may come face-to-face with later. Fiction affects our feelings on a situation. A disturbing theme I'm seeing a LOT of in Star Wars lately is men being cruel to women in one way or another and the women finding it attractive and acceptable. Of course, depiction is not automatically endorsement... until we have now literally seen this type of relationship fully endorsed by Lucasfilm showrunners and directors twice in a row. Tweens and teenage girls *will* watch the sequel trilogy and the acolyte... what are they taking away from it? From what the director or showrunner has said about it? Honestly, this is much less about fandom to me now, and more about how official creators are treating these dynamics.

Three and finally and most important: I'm sorry that you've been seeing things like that being said about Headland, I think that's bizarre, rude, and uncalled for. I often do not go looking in fandom spaces anymore so I have not seen this, but that doesn't mean it's not out there. I generally do not trust Headland's creative input anymore, nor do I necessarily even like her, HOWEVER, I have not and will not make any such comment on her sexuality as it has nothing to do with any of this. I don't know which post of mine they screenshot, and I'd like more information actually, if they are using my post to say I think those things too, but regardless, I would not say this about her, or about anyone, and I don't condone it.

This is absolutely not racially motivated from me and I want to make that absolutely clear. I have been vehemently anti-reylo since the day I learned it existed, so I hope that you do not feel as though I am speaking out against the way that the Osha and Qimir storyline has been handled out of such a place, and I would never want anything to come across that way in any of my analysis or critiques. You will find I usually have less to say about anidala, seeing as the majority of the fandom does not depict Anakin as "doing nothing wrong" in that relationship, nor does the source material, so I feel I do not have to explain as much as I do with reylo and now Osha/Qimir. I want to make that absolutely clear that this type of relationship being presented in this type of way is a huge red flag for me regardless of the races of the characters involved. If you refer to the fandom at large, I don't want to invalidate your experiences, and don't know what other people are saying or what their reasons are. Unfortunately the acolyte fandom has been riddled with homophobia and racism since before the first episode even aired, and I want to make it clear that I think all of that is entirely unacceptable and that my critiques have nothing to do with either of those hateful ideologies.

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 22: Banking Embers

Okay, so I was so busy patting myself on the back for getting a chapter up that I totally missed that it was the wrong chapter. Insert me smacking myself in the face when @baelpenrose pointed out.

Thankfully everything still applies: a good mix of fluff and machinations, and very much more co-written than beta read. Whew!

When Rome's in ruins

We are the lions

Free of the coliseums

In poisoned places

We are anti-venom

We're the beginning of the end

Tonight

The foxes hunt the hounds

It's all over now

Before it has begun

And we've already won

Fall Out Boy, “Young Volcanoes

Lash

Nils eventually came out of the master suite, carrying a bottle and sniffing it suspiciously. “This isn’t mine.”

I rolled my eyes and held out my hand. “White boy hair oil and brown girl hair don’t necessarily work well together. Thank you, I’ll stick it in my bag. Sorry.”

He snatched it back. “Nope. I like it, it’s staying here. In case you need another shower. Only practical. I’ll buy you another bottle on the way to take you home.” 

I smothered a smile as he padded barefoot back to the bathroom, returning seconds later to take his position on the far end of the couch - at some point, we had established ‘our’ seats, although I couldn’t pinpoint when. But his was on the left, mine was on the right. Everywhere. I shook myself out of my thoughts. “Food is ordered - hope saag paneer and double extra garlic naan is okay. I still can’t stomach the idea of meat at the moment.”

“Sounds perfect.” He leaned back in the couch. “So, what was so nuts about my idea that it beats…whatever movie we were going to watch?” 

“I didn’t say it was nuts, I said it was interesting,” I pointed out. “But to your point. Firstly, I am constantly caught off guard by how hopeful you can be for someone who is so pessimistic.  I don’t mean that as an insult, by the way.  But, secondly… I think it could work if - and only if - we think in the very long term.  Not scales of weeks, months, or years, but we’re talking generations.  Lifetimes.”

“A sunrise we’ll never see?” His tone was pensive. “Or in the sense that it will be an ongoing project whose endpoint will take several lifetimes beyond our own?” 

“In the sense that it may not even be the best idea if we live to see the sun finish setting,” I responded as gently as possible. “Studies show that sustainable, lasting change - good or bad - is done over time to gain momentum.”

“Which has the singular downside that I don’t know that’s time we have.” Nils said, thinking. “Behold the climate. There are places we can challenge capitalist control, and places we can replace it, fairly rapidly. We didn’t do it with debts, no, but we proved it could be done, that the system was weaker than people thought, and we got away clean. A lot of why rapid change is impossible to sustain is that the system is too load bearing, so our first play has to be to prove that we can take those loads away - which has the advantage of making us look like winners and making the powers-that-be look like conquerable fools. How many revolutions fail before they start simply because people don’t try? Because they think the system is invincible?”

I reached out and squeezed his thumb affectionately. “Hey, I agree. Keep in mind, I’m not beating the ‘Go Vote’ drum as the be-all-end-all, here.  We can definitely pull away those theoretically load bearing systems, one at a time, provided we are smart about what they are supposed to be propping up and how much we care if those loads crumble. Case in point, the debt heist we just did.”

The familiar, laughing-at-a-far-away-joke smile played about his lips as he looked at me, eyes focused entirely in the moment. “That’s why we’re partners. Never would have worked as well without you. I wouldn’t be trying this without you.” He reached out and gently squeezed my hand. “We can pick our targets carefully, but at some point we’re going to inspire copycats - and those people should have some means of finding us, so that we can guide them a bit, so they don’t fuck it up.” 

I shook my hair out, thinking.  Reaching back, I started twisting it, looking around and finding a pen to shove through it and keep it balanced. “We honestly aren’t all that sneaky, outside of the fact that we are very openly doing this under online personas that are very much hard to trace back to real people.  But I agree, we need something like a council - proxy real people who copy cats can reach out to when we are asleep or busy.  Like… Bishop, for sure. Weasel is out. Bryce may actually be a good option, though.”

Nils shook his head. “He wasn’t reliable to not steal from you and finish the job. He’ll roll over on us for any reward money in a heartbeat.” 

I pointed at him and winked. “Exactly. Bryce is motivated by money, pure, plain, and simple. We know what to watch out for, and we know how to hack him. Weasel… we can’t pay him in enough of his preferred currency to keep him from turning in half a breath. But Bryce?  Has a gambling addiction, a few hundred thousand in student loans, and parents who are always a hair away from cutting him off. If we can redirect some ill-gotten billionaire funds to keep him from getting killed by loan sharks, he’ll be loyal.”

“Point the first: We just torched a huge swathe of student debt, that was literally my original goal. Gambling addiction though, that’s interesting.” I thought about it. “My issue is that if the FBI offers enough he may take a bigger payday from them. Consider it for now, not a hard no. I like Bishop though. And we’re going to want someone to manage the psychopaths a little more directly, ideally someone who understands…frankly, weapons, tactics, and ideally isn’t a racist psychopath I have to string along with mind games.”

“We’re getting ahead of ourselves,” I suggested, just as the food arrived. “Am I safe to grab that, or should you?”

“I’ll get it.” He got up and headed down to go grab the food at the door. When he got back, he set the food down on the table and set out a plate in front of each of us. “Good call, this stuff smells amazing.”

I smiled. “Thank yew, thank yew. I could eat this every day, mass murder notwithstanding.” I started scooping rice and curry onto my plate before continuing. “So. Yes, we need a council, persons beyond Bishop to be determined. But we also need a figurehead.” With my fork, I pointed at my face vaguely. “Clearly not the person to visibly converse with racists, which are our primary market currently.” I started swirling the tines in his general direction. “However, you? Mr. Rich Boy Who Hates the Rich? Perfect.”

“We have to network with people who will look at my…everything…and know we’re bullshit, though. Ideally, we may want to have two different figureheads, for interacting with different crowds. You for our actual side of things, me for the rowdy and violent crowd? Bear in mind, we’re gonna need actual activists to set up the community shit to take advantage of whatever we do with our pawns.” 

“Activists don’t care what you look like,” I agreed before shoving a chunk of spinach covered cheese in my face and chewing thoughtfully. “But yeah, I can organize the actuals on the back end while you rally the minions in the front.   Right now, front work is going to be our focus.  Did the dead guys have life insurance? Families?”

“Based on chatter? One did. It came up alot.” His tone was unconcerned as he heaped his plate. “Are we thinking hitting life insurance next? For that matter, are we reaching out for a mutual edge? Get payouts for the victims of the fire and the widows and orphans of our retribution? An easy way to reunite “our” forces and get them refocused on the real enemy.” 

I waffled my hand while I chewed on naan. Swallowing I managed to get out, “Kind of both? Don’t get me wrong, if we just wiped out their mortgage and they still bombed the cafe? We can pro-rate that insurance, I know the math.  But also.” I started gesturing with my fork again. “Did you know that, in the absence of a clear beneficiary, most life insurance defaults to the state after three to ten years?  Waste of funds, plus the interest goes to the state, regardless. It’s gross.”

“That is uniquely disgusting,” he said, before shoving a large hunk of naam into his mouth. “Or, I’d say so if I hadn’t heard about. Other theft the state likes doing. But that’s directly addressable, right now.” 

I nodded enthusiastically. “So, you’re picking up what I’m putting down: unclaimed and excessive life insurance. Reroute that shit.”

“Sounds perfectly agreeable to me. To the poor, or to the recently widowed and orphaned of the country? I think both would be…pretty funny.” 

“Tired, poor, and huddled masses,” I toasted with a chunk of naan, rice, and curry. “Fuck the yearning, let’s make them free. Food banks, medical debts - until we can wipe those out - Hey.” I set my food down for a second. “Funnel the funds into a medical debt jubilee? Would that work better, or would another hack work better? We need an accountant or insurance adjuster on staff, I think.”  At this point, I was rambling, but in the groove and happy for once in the last several years.

“Second hack. We drop that kind of cash into the people who are real experts in making it matter the most, they’re legally required to find out who it comes from and how. We’re better off intercepting the shit they can’t buy yet.” Nils was grinning. “We can find an accountant though. Gotta be a way to start dumping money into this machine.” He blushed a bit. “I love seeing you smile again, Lash. For real, not just for cover.” 

I complied with a genuinely enthusiastic, sunny grin, spinach in teeth be damned. “I still think we need a risk-reward specialist on board,” I pointed out. “Keep in mind, we don’t need a licensed adjuster, just a trained one. Think of all the people who get educated in prison and can’t get employed. We can cultivate one, cherry pick.” At this point I was screaming high on endorphins and realized I sounded silly. “Or just… I dunno. Pay one who is willing to take the pay over the ethics. You might be right.”

“You didn’t even wait to hear my objections. I was going to say there’s no one trained for this, because we break that scale at both ends.” He was laughing too. “Then again as we get this council together, we’re probably going to run into that problem a lot if we go as far as we could.” 

I glanced around while I thought, and spotted a surprisingly dusty chess set.  Carefully, I brought it over to the table, set it down, scooted our food over, and sat on the floor. “So here,” I I picked up a king out of the box - it happened to be a white piece, but whatever, it was the first one I saw - “This is basically you.” I set it in place. “You think incredibly well in short term but you put your neck out without caring about the consequences, yes?”

He picked up the black king. “I don’t hate your analysis. But this is the side we’re playing. The system’s had at least one move on us a long time. We’re just moving back to react to the world we’re living in and trying to win anyway. Also, you know you’re setting me up as the piece we can’t win without - that the game ends if they manage to kill me.” He sounded oddly anxious about that concept.

I nodded and fished out the corresponding queen. “In theory, this is me - long term thinking, flexible, but not the figurehead. The movement doesn’t die with me.” Without waiting, I grabbed a bishop. “Obvious. But we need another, so I’m only putting one on the board right now.”  Fully committing to the metaphor, I fished all the pawns out of the box and placed them on the Black side. “These are your pawns. Appropriately, both useful, powerful, and sacrificial.”  To the side, I started setting the rest of the Black pieces. “Here’s what we don’t have.”

“An advisor, two specialists for atypical offense, and two builders to make whatever we want last. Okay.” He took a look. “Not king and queen of much of a court.” He glanced at me. “You were born to be a queen though, even if when we’re done there’s not going to be much in the way of monarchies.” 

I felt my face flush, and turned away so he wouldn’t see it.  Given how many times I had been subjected to similar pickup lines, I mentally scolded myself while I calmed down. Remember all the stupid lines about Nubian queens when you aren’t even from Africa, I asserted. And how many references to Cleopatra left you with a soggy date and an empty cup. “Capitalism, monarchies, whatever,” I managed to get out, “leaders need a council.  I assume you would object if I placed myself as King’s Rook - the one piece that can swap for the King in an assassination attempt in chess - so I accept being Queen. Fair?”

“We didn’t establish that I really bought the model that you’re more expendable than I am to the movement long-term.” He said, obviously thinking about something. “But if I can’t convince you of that, yes, you’re the queen.” 

I grabbed a bite of my now-cold paneer and nodded as I swallowed. “If it helps your conscience at all, these games rarely get far past the Queen being taken, unless you are playing against an absolute master or a total newb.”

He nodded. “Point.” He then proceeded, speaking in a voice somewhere between supervillain and flirting-teasing, with a grin that indicated he had an entirely new thing to tease me with, “So, ‘my queen,’ do you have a particular preference for the rest of our council that we should contact or discuss this evening?”

My face burning, I managed to keep facing him and steadily respond. “Bishop, first. Ask him for suggestions… Beyond him and Weasel, I don’t think we know a lot of the same folks.”  Surrendering, I dropped my forehead into my palm. “And please, for the love of everything, let me sleep on this big, fluffy, gorgeous couch tonight? I don’t want to even think of blaming anything that happens between us, non-professionally, as being due to trauma.”

He snorted. “I was going to be a gentleman and take the couch, let you have the bed, but if you insist on the couch, I’m not going to force you.” 

I started giggling, possibly out of tired delirium. “I flopped on the bed earlier,” I confessed. “It’s hard as a rock, so I will take the couch and suggest you get a softer bed.”

He shrugged, and boxed up what was left of the food. “Ah. Yeah. We can talk about that, if you were coming over here more often. But for tonight, yeah, take the couch. I’ll get you some blankets and pillows.” 

[blortch]

Not trying to start any drama or anything, but I sent that ask letting off some steam about Mike being a petulant little man, and a lot of tags in the reblogs were calling me out that I don’t know mikes humor, he’s always been like that etc etc etc. but I just want to make my point clear, that I like you all have watched all the videos too. There is a marked change in his insolence. Whereas in the past mikes jabs at rich and Jay were mean yes, they felt like a part of the bit. Written jokes, even if there was no script. Like it was an understanding that Mike was gonna use insult humor to make jokes and build the channel. And I think it probably worked. Whereas now it’s not as directly mean, like direct fat jokes or gay jokes or whatever, now it’s just more dismissive of rich and jay’s opinion just to make room for mikes. (I don’t think you watched the acolyte video but Mike in editing, cut off rich in such a disrespectful and shitty way that it really irked me) also the “shut ups” in particular from Mike seem to me to be the most disrespectful, not only because it’s boorish or inelegant in its delivery, but because he is their “boss” it’s even more particularly distasteful, because they usually do just shut up when he tells them to. It just highlights a power imbalance that MAY have been there all along, I’m not sure, but that rift feels even more wide, and makes Mike feel even more like a tyrannical boss to them, which makes him seem more like a petulant little shit.

Anyway as always thank you for listening. You are always one of the most clear eyed in the fandom, and I always respect your opinion. Thanks!

Anon to be honest with you I've been where you've been a couple times myself where I was shy or hesitant to post my opinion so I send an anon ask, and then people write in the notes horrid shit that should happen to me cuz it's "just some anon" which is why I can sympathize with you. I understand what feelings led you to send this ask after the last one yet I can tell you from experience that you honestly shouldn't have sent it, it unfortunately won't help your case if you overexplain yourself to people that evidently have made up their minds and have come to different conclusions from watching about as many videos as you have. Usually it won't help you come to terms with the feelings you might've gone through while looking at like 7 people bash your theory with you being unable to argue back with this format. I'll publish this ask mostly for this piece of advice but if you get more of the same notes on this ask I can't help you. And I know u said u didn't want to start any drama but unforch by sending this ask alone you kind of are 😭

But let's assume you wanted to just send this to me specifically as a DM you couldn't send for X or Y reason just to chat and for the rest of this response I'll answer accordingly.

I still haven't watched the Acolyte video and you can't make me !!! Despite what my blog looks like I value my time dearly.

Your accusations are kinda heavy. I can already tell you that there's one point that isn't quite correct which is that "when Mike tells them shut up they do" because in one of the latest "shut up" instances Jay continued exactly where he left off.

Seen objectively, one thinks "boss" and thinks some degree of power is at play, but in execution, the hint that we've been given is that supposedly Jay has just as much power to not upload edits he doesn't give the ok to post (with some exceptions as seen in the Space Cop commentary where Jay personally didn't want the joke in there where it was implied his character shoved something 10 inches long up his ass, or where Rich and Jack said in PreRec they protested vehemently against the "whazaaaa" joke at the beginning and they couldn't change Mike's mind).... From this All we can infer is that movies are a different ballpark to Mike or at least Space Cop was. I KNOW I've mentioned Jay complaining about the Wedding arc in the Projection Booth Podcast too before but him saying that he found it "horrible" doesn't equal that he didn't want it to be in the show unlike the two Space Cop instances. TLDR we can't say with certainty if they mightn't have taken FURTHER countermeasures that we don't see that might counteract this POSSIBILITY of a owner vs. employee power imbalance.

A more cynical side of me has seen this company-of-friends model go very nightmarishly horribly many times in the past and I think some people feel threatened by the idea that their dream might be impossible or have a low chance of succeeding.

I think I can vaguely see what you're seeing in terms of what Mike insult-jokes have looked like through the years but there's a fair amount from back then I didn't like either, like this horrible old Plinkett commentary that sounds like an audiobook version of his video descriptions where not a single joke-insult towards Rich and Jay hits so they just land on the floor with a thud and feel weirdly bitter. (btw they are all before the 4:03 mark so please don't torture yourself listening to the rest of the commentary)

Ultimately as I've been saying your views are your own and I would personally value them as questionable and I don't exactly have the authority to prove you wrong. I have absolutely 0 at stake so I don't feel like defending their reputation much either lol all I'll do is add an ALLEGEDLY banner. You're welcome.

[tokuvivor]

Thanks for the tag on this one, @shychick-52! (Update: And @writebackatya.)

how many fics do you have on ao3?

12.

what's your total ao3 word count?

69,172.

what are your top five fics by kudos?

The Power of Three

Bridging the Gap

We Could Bring You a Hamburger…

One Night Ultimate Duck (Or Hummingbird, or Parrot)

Duckverse June 2023 Prompts (yes, it’s a story collection, but it still counts)

what fandoms do you write for?

DuckTales 2017, mostly, a bit for Super Sentai, did one for the Netflix show Dash & Lily, and I have a couple ideas of fics relating to other shows.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Yes! Someone took time out of their day to read my stuff and leave their input on it, and the least I could do is show my appreciation for it in return, and elaborate on any questions they may have.

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Shit, I’m really not good with ending stories on a down note; I try to make the endings as satisfying as possible. But I’d say the closest thing to that is for my 6th Webby Week story, Am I Good Enough? (An Internal Battle). It’s basically just Webby wrestling over being chosen by the Papyrus in her mind. Even though it doesn’t end on an outright fairy tale note, she does recognize that it’s okay to not have something that big figured out immediately, and that it’s good to talk about it with other people if you have trouble processing it.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That’s a tough one. There are probably certain stories I’ll discuss in later answers, so for this one, I’ll go with We Could Bring You a Hamburger…. I mean, it’s just a sweet, simple story about something that absolutely should’ve been shown in canon (Webby getting her first hamburger). It’s just a good, satisfying, slice of life kinda thing.

do you get hate on your fics?

Well, on the second chapter of The Power of Three, I got somebody telling me that Huey shouldn’t be guilty over going against his general Woodchuck instinct and leaving Violet behind, and that he should be jealous and upset with Violet and Lena for insulting him and making him feel miserable. Jesus.

do you write smut?

No. I honestly don’t think I’d be good at it. Especially regarding a show like DuckTales. If I were to, it’d probably be wayyyyy down the road.

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've ever written?

Not actively; if I write something with multiple fandom tags on AO3, it’s mostly because minor elements of one thing are peppered into my DT story.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Thank god.

have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that’d be interesting.

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes; I started working with @sisiwritesfanfics on her Super Sentai Couples One-Shot Collection beginning with the second story. We’re currently trying to work on the third.

what's your all time favorite ship?

I don’t know, probably Fendra? But I generally prefer fanworks of them more, especially when stories go more in-depth regarding their relationship than we got in canon. There are others in DuckTales, and other pieces of media, that I really enjoy, though.

what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

At the moment, none. But there are a couple idea that I have that I don’t know if I’d ever start.

what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially between two characters, and being able to really get into characters’ minds.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Writing full-on angst. I can incorporate bits of angst into stories, especially when it’s introspective, but a full story of it just wouldn’t be my thing (so, way longer than Am I Good Enough?). Also, losing motivation at certain points in time.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’ve done bits of gratuitous Spanish or Latin in my stories before, but no full-on dialogue. But I did provide the translated Spanish dialogue between Fenton, Gosalyn, and Webby in @writebackatya’s story Let’s All Go to the Movies!.

first fandom you wrote for?

Technically speaking, I did a piece based on Wreck-It Ralph back in high school for my creative writing class. So that, I guess.

favorite fic you've ever written?

Massive toss-up for me here. The Power of Three is special because it was my first fic, and it focuses on the budding dynamic between Huey, Violet, and Boyd, which absolutely should have been explored in the show. But my other major early idea for a DuckTales story turned into Bridging the Gap. Gandra isn’t written nearly as often alongside Huey, and we only really got a resolution of her relationship with Fenton (amongst main and major recurring characters) in the show, so I wanted to build on the pieces we got between Gandra and Huey in her episodes, which culminated in what I still think is my absolute favorite scene I’ve written. I think the overall edge goes to Power, but Bridging isn’t far behind in my heart.

Tagging @godfrey-the-chaos-duck and @sparklingspidey

[lieutenant-amuel]

you wrote once about your favorite Disney princesses. What are your thoughts on the Disney non princess? Or top 10 princes?

Thank you for the ask!

The term “Disney non-princesses” is too vast, so I’ll go with the princes :P

I’ll take the characters from the same movies the princesses are from (even if they’re not “princes” aka royal), excluding:

EoA, because I’m not even sure which characters to include. Probably Gabe and Mateo because they’re the main characters and around Elena’s age. But I won’t include them because they are not well-known outside their show and either way we all know Gabe is always my number one, so let’s make this top more interesting.

Moana and Raya and The Last Dragon, because those movies simply don’t have male characters who could be considered “princes” (I don’t have the heart to call Maui or the guys (Boun and Tong) from Raya’s gang princes, sorry and I barely remember those characters because I’m not a big fan of the movies).

Before we begin, I want to note that this top is about MY favourite princes, not the best ones, and is supposed to reflect MY opinion, not yours. If you disagree, make your own post and don’t argue with me, trying to change my mind, because this kind of conversations is simply pointless. Anyway, I’ll try to express my opinion as politely as possible so I won’t offend anyone.

And now let’s get started!

11. The Prince (Prince Florian/Ferdinand)

I have nothing to say about him, besides he’s romantic and sweet. His role in the movie is insignificant, he appears only in two scenes and doesn’t even have speaking parts, I think?

I believe he could have a bigger impact on me if I loved the movie more, because my own bias plays a big role in making this top, but sadly he’s just bland for me.

10. Kristoff

Please, don’t bite me.

Despite the fact Kristoff is basically a lot more round than most of the characters I put higher, I still don’t have much to say about him, because he’s simply not my type.

I absolutely love Anna, but it doesn’t make me care about Kristoff as much as about her. He’s kind, loyal, brave, and even has a backstory, but… there’s still something missing. I don’t have the heart to call him unintelligent or God forbid dumb, but he just seems superficial to me. This is kind of people I don’t really like in real life, so I suppose it makes its impact.

I’m really sorry to all Kristoff fans, because really, he’s a great character, but just not for me. I often prioritize character’s personality over their complexity (which is why I’m not a fan of Elsa or Esteban if we take EoA into account because it’s been my brand~ for a long time) and if I don’t like them as a person, I cannot care about them as a character, and Kristoff is this case.

9. The Beast (Prince Adam)

As much as I love Belle, I’m indifferent to the Beast. I know he kind of has a complex character arc as we see how he’s actually changing thanks to Belle’s influence, plus we know a little of him before he was turned into a beast, like the fact he loves books, which actually does add something to his character, but I just don’t think that much about him. He’s nice, and that’s all I can say.

8. Prince Charming (Prince Henry)

I’m not sure what to say about him. He and Snow White’s prince are basically the same as neither of them plays an important role in the movies. I put him higher than the Beast mostly because of the sequels where he gets more personality (and an iconic jumping out of the window scene) that makes him a lot more enjoyable and fun to watch, even though he’s not really the character type I like.

7. Eric

Same as for the Beast. I strongly disagree with people who call Eric dumb or bland, but the fact I don’t insult him doesn’t mean he’s a character I often think about. I’m indifferent.

I love his passion for the sea, it makes him curious and adventurous, and I think it’s actually super interesting that despite being a prince, he has a down-to-earth hobby and is nice to his crew (and he has a super cool dog).

I heard Eric got “more personality” in the remake but I haven’t watched it yet so I cannot put my two cents in. Anyway, this top is about animated princes, so I wouldn’t put him higher either way. But the movie would certainly help me to look deeper into his character.

6. Phillip

Unexpected? Well, as I said, I’m biased. Sleeping Beauty is my favourite old Disney movie, Aurora was my favourite Disney princess as a kid and so it automatically made me love her man, too. He’s charming and brave as he’s actually rescuing Aurora, and as much as this is basically the only thing I can say about him, I still put him that high because he has a special place in my heart.

But you know, if we’re unnecessarily overanalyzing, Phillip is also kind of a rebel since when he fell in love with Aurora without knowing it was her, he refused to follow the betrothal and wanted to marry the girl he actually loved, so yeah, that’s nice. And he has a cool horse and a fun dynamic with his father.

5. Naveen

And we’re finally getting to the characters that I actually care about and even can say something beyond “he’s nice.”

I love Naveen! He’s energetic and optimistic, and I honestly do love characters like him. He’s super fun and has a fantastic arc, and I love his passion for music. As in Eric’s case, that’s great that he has a hobby and treats common people nicely despite being a prince.

Really, I just love characters with a radiant personality.

4. John Smith

I thought for a long time whether I should put John Smith or Naveen higher, because I like them pretty equally, but eventually John Smith won mostly because he’s deeper and I have more to say about him.

John Smith is great! He’s curious and adventurous, which I already said about Eric, but he’s a lot more dynamic and charming, and it makes him more enjoyable to me (his part in Mine, Mine, Mine is fantastic). He’s also decent, brave, loyal, caring, and what’s also important open-minded. I love characters who use to have wrong beliefs but learn eventually that they’re wrong. I think if I had rewatched Pocahontas before making this post, I’d say a lot more about him.

3. Eugene

My Top-3!

Eugene must be one of the most loved Disney male characters, and that’s well deserved! He’s charming and witty, brave and resourceful, has a great backstory that actually makes people care about him and it leads him to have a fantastic arc.

I really don’t know what else to say about him, he’s simply an amazing round character with a unique personality, and I really love him a lot.

I’m not taking Tangled the Series Eugene into account, because I sincerely don’t like how he’s portrayed there. They make a very big emphasis on his narcissism, especially in season 1, making him a comedy relief character, whereas in the movie it isn’t even such a big deal. Not to mention his absolutely terrible arc of being the prince of the Dark Kingdom. It completely erases his backstory in the movie and makes his story of being an orphan a lot less impactful for me.

2. Shang

Another bias, because, as you might have noticed, Mulan is my most favourite Disney movie. Just of all time.

To be serious, Shang is a perfect character for me. He’s brave, smart, takes his responsibilities seriously. He might be blunt and tough on the surface, but he’s also decent, respects his soldiers, wants his father to be proud of him, and always strives to do the right thing even if it’s contrary to his duties (I do have a type, don’t I)

and oh my goodness his song is the fire

He’s perfect, and I love him <3

1. Aladdin

That’s my boy!

Aladdin is my second favourite Disney movie, and Aladdin himself is definitely one of the reasons why.

He’s incredibly brave, decent, kind and selfless without being too soft as he’s also witty and resourceful. He also has many insecurities that force him to make wrong decisions, but he’s learnt from each one, and the general concept of his character being “the diamond in the rough” is really the main reason why I love him.

Aladdin is so layered and dynamic, and he will always be special to me.

Bonus: Gabe

ALRIGHT I’VE CHANGED MY MIND I will include Gabe, because it gives me an opportunity to finally ramble about my best man again and I cannot waste it.

I don’t even know where to start with.

I love his personality. He’s brave, honest, responsible, kind, selfless, protective, loving, extremely loyal and hard-working.

I love his story and how much he’s grown on me.

I love so many character tropes he embodies, and how some of the important aspects of his character resonate with me, which makes him special to me on a personal level.

He’s the character who unleashed my creativity as I created so much content of him and even built my own little universe that revolves around him and that I love to death.

He’s the only character on this list that I think about literally every day, and he will always be special to me because of the impact he’s made on me.

I love Gabe, and he’s placed out of this top, because he’s incomparable <3

***

Thank you again for the ask! I hope I wasn’t too mean akjsnfkk.

[fictionfixations]

twst spoilers (im looking through this through the lens of twisted wonderland)

I have a bunch of movie DVDs so I’m watching them.

watched part of the little mermaid (i ended up stopping cause the rest of the audio after the deal was just gone and there were more and more frame freezes and cuts)

and then aladdin

Anyway since I’m on a twisted wonderland fixation I wanted to watch the movies I had. So I’m going through little mermaid. I don’t think I have the second

..there’s one at 80 mins. It says disc 1. The other is titled ‘Ariel’s beginning’ idk the difference??? apparently ariel's beginning is the third movie, and a prequel. i didnt get around to watching it cause at this point im tired)

Guppy is an insult (i swear ive heard floyd call someone a guppy but im not sure where)

THE TWEELS EYESSS (and the white glowed yellow???? Or is that an artistic choice??? i have no idea what they did because i couldnt hear them and i didnt figure out how to turn on subtitles or rewind )

I love the yellow fish so much (hes just explaining it while lacking so many details you cant really follow)

Triton a shit father???? No I hate the crab (hes. kind of a bad influence.)

Ariel can. Be out of water with her tail? And speak? And

breathe???????? huh!?

SHES ON SAND AND ISNT DRYING OUT??? (so her only problem with it is that shes not human. and thinks he'll only get with her if she's human. it feels kind of dumb but i guess it kind of isnt if they have this huge thing against merpeople but they dont even know they exist? although there could be negative consequences ofc if they did find out but i really dont think ariel's aware of that. or if she is, then whyd she go so close if she knows they could be a danger??? ???

..i mean. its better than signing away your best magic for TEST answers. and then working for the lounge for the rest of your years at school??? with probably no pay. like. seriously?? people just accept things?? i mean i know nrc wouldnt accept kindness. but. ..apparently accept azuls deals without reading...)

'Beautiful girl singing.' (or it was beautiful singing voice) (What if she was a siren???? like cmonn) I couldn’t hear what happened to Ursula that left her away from the others ngl

...Tritons really the kind of dad to destroy Ariel’s stuff when she reveals she’s in love with a human. Okay yeah I don’t take back my thought of him being a bad dad

Well it’s human stuff but srsly???

THE FAN TURNED ON (curse non-soundproof walls) DURING MEETING URSULA ('poor unfortunate soulsss') IM CRYING NOOOOO (i didnt know how to turn on subtitles. i only figured it partway around watching aladdin :( )

I can’t hear the deal :(

Weird that Ariel still got married (and had like the foundation thing that helps merpeople get used to land??? i forgot what it was but it was because a princess in like the sunshine lands blah blah blah) Meanwhile Ursula is just. Admired fo being so kind. Do they not know??? then again they do admire jafar while he also still lost. ..i mean the stories twisted ig so we cant really know what happened. if it followed the movie or if something else happened. In twst* Sound disappeared. I think it’s the movie dvd cause there are weird cuts

im. gonna end it there because otherwise im not gonna understand a thing

aladdin go brr

The frame froze on jafar closing the parrots mouth 😭

I FOUND WHERE THE SUBTITLES ARE oh my god were the crackers a reference (in the game kalim kept shoving crackers in grims mouth and i was just so confused???) I just wanna give the tiger a hug (i dont remember what gender but so so cute when turned into smol bby)

I can’t really blame animal sidekicks that cause an issue in stuff (and kind of annoying) since I got attached to grim and I hated him for the longest time lol (anyway abu ended up helping out by stealing the lamp anyway when before there liekly wouldnt have been a chance. so. good on him)

Jafar just keeps calling him Abooboo throughout the movie. …i cant take it seriously its the funniest thing ever

Why is jasmine surprised (or at least look surprised) she could’ve just assumed jafar was mistaken since Aladdin said he went in disguise and stuff to hide why he was there????

Who the hell would believe jafar’s word? The sultan. But jasmine hates jafar!

Jafar only wanted to be with jasmine to get power??? So why does he want her now? I refuse to believe he’s in love ew

EWWWW THEY KISSED (well she did it to distract him while aladdin was making his way on the plan to stop jafar. but EWW it didnt even work because he saw aladdin's reflection in the crown!)

So gross HOW OLD IS HE!?

So glad jamil wasn’t like that but also it’s not a romance game thank fuck

'Still just second best’ OUCH thats rough hearing that insult

and its deserved. but also knowing jamils backstory makes it ow, although jamil never really. went as far. ....like. nobody actually dies. theres no attempt at killing someone excluding overblot actions and actions pre-blot BECAUSE its on the way about to overblot that what you normally wouldn't do you kind of do, and i really doubt you can be blamed for that when it kind of just. removes your morals, sort of? lowers your inhibitions. but like. makes what caused it so much more intense so then you break and boom overblot

something like that.

[that-is-just-so-typically-me]

I’m feeling so torn. After about a year of occasional text conversations with my ex, I think I’m recognizing a pattern where for a while afterwards, all the hurt and angry and afraid parts of me seem to come creeping so close to the surface of my skin at all times, and it becomes harder for me to walk around my life accessing the default calm, settled, generally kind reactions I tend to have first. My inner peace just gets incredibly disturbed. I’m uncertain if this means that actually I have barely processed or managed anything in a meaningful way, and it’s not healthy or possible to be in contact with her as long as I continue to grieve our dreams and plans together, being together for the rest of lives. I feel like I hold my anger and fear and despair at the same time as I hold my forgiveness and love and hope. I don’t want to shut her out now that a part of my exists that welcomes it - because I can’t possibly not care for her, and there are parts of me that know I am generally okay enough, the parts that function which have gotten me moving my life along this whole time. It feels artificially angry and aggressive to ask for no contact. Like, the angry parts of me exist parallel to the parts that understand everyone is flawed and complicated, and that traumatized people traumatize people, and we’re all doing our best. And god, I miss her. Even this small, apparently too painful interaction fills a tiny bit of glue in the rip that runs through everything. And maybe how good and right it feels is the entire reason why it’s so dangerous for me. And there’s the way that every time I see her name in my notifications and begin subconsciously anticipating a response, my mind flashes back to memories, which usually ends up with my mind playing back the most painful and traumatic moments like the worst home-movie I keep rewinding and reliving. And then it turns into the nightmares about her and her girlfriend (always accompanied by other stressful but unrelated nightmare plot points, to add insult to the injury). The nightmares snowballed when I got home from my recent trip, and now I’m fighting the most intense perseverations about what happened. And there’s the way I know I begin to expect a response in a certain time - just based on her texting habits and patterns - and it is so unsafe for my nervous system to subconsciously expect anything from her, after how worthless I ended up feeling when she chose her other partner over me in so many small and big situations. Literally obviously she owes me nothing, but of course I am aware that she is living her life with her partner so I’m in those instants of realizing I haven’t heard back when I guessed I might, I of course think “Oh it’s a Saturday, they’re on a date” which of course triggers the thought of not being the one she goes on Saturday adventure with anymore, and someone else is in the place I was doing those things with her instead. And building a whole life with her instead. And I know that and mostly I can hold that jagged truth in my bleeding hand and I’m so used to it and I get by and can even smile at times. But the constant, jarring, unexpected reminders that feed into these weeks of flashbacks and insomnia and nightmares. It’s derailing and negativity impacting my life in a tangible way.

I’ve started struggling with restricting my eating again, which hasn’t happened since the pandemic hit when I was isolated at home with my parents, and was going through an emotional hell realizing they were isolating together, and getting together. I used rationing food as my excuse to punish my body for her no longer loving me. It feels like that again, and I guess it’s just an even bigger trigger for my already constantly triggered body image. It’s not good. I know I can’t keep going on in a pattern like this.

It’s all so incredibly embarrassing. I was doing pretty well with all of this, all things considered, before I got the text last month. I just hate that I still feel this way after so long. I’m so frustrated that I have been pouring my blood, sweat, and tears, harder than ever, harder than I have worked for anything else in my life (except perhaps my degree) into all of this healing work, but something like this still affects me so badly.

It feels wrong to cut off all contact with her. I really want to be healed enough to still have at least a casual acquaintanceship. I hope I can get a grip and not subconsciously spiral out every time I hear from her, but I don’t know if I can. I’m having to face the humbling possibility that I am still way too damaged to do it. And if I am still this damaged, why is it that the work I’ve been doing hasn’t been healing me? And what else can I try instead to actually reach this anger and fear and pain and release it? I want to heal so badly. I know that there is nothing for me here, stuck staring at a moment for the rest of my life. She chose to leave me. She chose to be with someone else. I respect that and I can stay here scraping myself raw against this truth and nothing is ever going to change it. I can’t go back to the past. But what I can do is keep moving forward into the future in spite of all of its terrible and beautiful uncertainties, if I can just keep going and not keep tripping when I stop turning to stare back at the past, if I can just start glancing instead of staring. My heart is so raw and scared and feel so fragile, like a new and ugly bird (hopefully kind of cute, still), but it’s it’s out there in the open and I am so ready for something good to happen again, to someday feel the irons fall from my soul and float again in the reckless trust and love and fearlessness I once I had. If I can just figure out how to do it, I would do anything to get the freedom of the soul back, to get all of myself back, no longer bleeding, but warm and safe and loved - by me and all the hearts I cherish.

I’m seeing my therapist on Thursday. I can make it.

[tcookies777]

I’m sorry to see those entitled readers that are b!tching about the ending of act 1 and the lack of smut. I hope you can take a good rest and ignore them. At first I was sad that it’s gonna be a really long time before the 2nd act start but now seeing these people constant b!tching about the pacing, I hope you take a break as long as you want and hopefully those readers turn to dust by then. I know you said you will finish this fic but If I were you, I would have stopped writing (Please don’t abandon this fic though🥺) so these little sh!ts get nothing. I’m sorry you have to constantly deal with these people for such a long time now but thank you for not giving up on TAOL.

On a side note, the animation quality for Sasuke retsuden……it’s over for us💀 . We can only rely on the manga now.

There are many times when I just want to abandon TAOL. I have all the outlines for the chapters done like a movie script, so technically I can read the story just fine for myself. There are also plenty of other fanfic projects I've been eager to work on.

But then I am reminded of a story that I was telling another reader in a chat just earlier:

The whole time the writer had been updating the fic, she had been secretly battling cancer too. Of course, that's not something you'd want to tell your readers and neither is it their business to know. And sadly she received very few comments when updating. Most of the readers wanted to wait until later in the story or at its end to comment at all.

But the moment she stopped updating, everyone came out of the woodwork to flood her comment section demanding when the next update is. They were getting sick and tired of waiting. It was a mystery fic so many questions they had about the story were left unanswered. So the more they got impatient. When the author didn't respond (because she had died of course), they started flooding her comments with hate, harassment, and insults, and such entitlement to make your lip curl in disgust. Out of the whole sea of vile comments, only 1 reader had bothered to stand up for her. To this day, it's still the most toxic comment section I'd ever laid eyes on.

Every time I think of that writer, I think of all the other writers who had abandoned their fics. They already have so much to deal with in real life, and constant harassment or entitlement from even 1 reader is more than enough to wear them out. So they quit the fic. I've heard some writers even fake their own deaths just so that they can abandon their fic and avoid harassment from enraged readers. Some writers, unfortunately, even commit suicide because of all the online abuse.

So while I do take breaks from the fic for my own sanity and health, I don't want to abandon the fic because it feels like I'm letting the haters win. And also I've been receiving so much support and kindness from so many readers like you. I know very well that only like 5% of my audience are trolls and haters - everyone else has just been wonderful. Like I said in that Love Note, it's not fair to punish all of you guys just because of the crimes of the few.

As an aside, I want to apologize that you guys even had to see this whole mess in the first place. I hate that it's ruined the fanfiction experience of so many readers.

Also, I haven't seen the animation for Sasuke Retsuden yet, but now I am terrified after seeing your Ask 😰 I already had low expectations to begin with because I actually don't like the current animation style for Boruto. Especially the faces... they look so weirdly chibi because the jawlines are rounded too much for my taste.

Idk maybe it's Dad weight 😂

But also, I was still hoping that the animation team behind the Shinden season would animate Sasuke Retsuden. I mean Shinden season animated many of the other Retsuden novels anyway. The Shinden arc was like the peak animation.

But you're right, at least we still have the manga :')

[lenievi]

snw #9 (rewatch)

- hmmmmmmmmmmmmm La’an said she was with Dr. Sanchez, a headshrinker... is it the same Dr. Sanchez that was in TOS or is it just a name coincidence again (like Mitchell + Mitchell - even though we don’t know if that is just “a same name no relation” yet). Like Kyle is there now and will be in TOS too [like there’s nothing wrong with having same names, because people have same names without any relations, but it’s fiction].

- I still hate that they made Sam Kirk be the one insulting Spock (I mean as long as they also make it a thing with Jim Kirk at least once or twice in snw, then I’ll take it back, but if they ignore that Kirk was all “Will you try for one moment to feel? At least act like you've got a heart.” in WNMHGB then like it’s just erasing so much from their relationship) [I just want them to respect that Kirk wasn’t always respectful towards Spock; he did not understand Spock from the get go; sure he was impressed, he was intrigued, they bonded over loyalty, duty, mutual admiration, and chess, but Kirk was not 100% respectful until the very end. Still funny that their last conversation ever ended with Spock being “don’t be insulting” because Kirk called him human.]

- ah, okay, it was not just Hemmer’s death that affected Spock. It was Duke’s, too, and his own helplessness, then lowering his shields and then not being able to get them up again. I wonder if that will still continue in s2 (would probably explain a few things in the trailers). Kinda feels like they aim to completely break Spock, in order for him to become tos!Spock, but I feel like they forgot that Spock was still quite emotional at the beginning of s1 - smiling and shouting, still being quite violent etc. But we’ll see, maybe it’ll track. The thing is... Spock had a breakdown in Discovery, Kirk’s 5ym led him to Gol to purge his emotions*, and now they want to break him in order to make him less emotional... it just feels a bit too excessive

I guess this post is still very relevant...

* maybe that’s why they made it a point that it’s something all Vulcans do, so it doesn’t feel like Spock had a breakdown and decided to purge his emotions because of that, but rather as the next step on his path to being a Vulcan because that’s what Vulcans do (maybe that was always what it was supposed to be, but the fandom (novels included) made it appear to be something different idk, like I said, I haven’t seen TMP (and I ignore kolinahr when thinking about fics set in the movie era), but it always seemed like the general consensus was that Spock chose kolinahr because he couldn’t handle his emotions anymore...)

- I wish they showed more scenes between Spock and Hemmer. There was so much potential lost in s1, I feel, just because they focused too much on romance with Spock (again, as you could notice, I don’t mind the romance and I enjoy it, I just kind of don’t get why that was what they went with. I would also love to see more Pike and Spock’s scenes, because at this point they still just work with nostalgia and viewers knowing that they’re supposed to be close... but getting those scenes would just mean more Spock screen time, which is also not something I want, so it’s just ugh LMAO I mean as long as they keep any Spock and Kirk’s scenes also this shallow, then it’s fine lol)

- SST has the next preview picture be of Kirk and I’d hate that so much if that was my first time watching. Season 2 seems to have just promo pictures rather than a screenshot from the episode, which is way better.

- I think I might watch episode 10 and then start season 2 today too, but we’ll see. 

I do kind of nitpick and have thoughts lol but I genuinely enjoy SNW and am curious where some of the stuff will lead

[rize-is-writing]

If your still taking matchup request can I get a romantic one for genshin impact or bungo stray dogs? I would like to get both, but if you only want to do one then please do genshin impact! I’m a minor and don’t have a preference for female or male match. My pronouns are she/they.

Appearance wise I have brown hair??? I was blonde, but accidentally permanently dyed my hair black. It looks brown now that the blonde is growing in 🤔 I have blue eyes, and tend to wear glasses. My ears are pierced as well as my septum.

I am a Leo! I’m not a talkative person or a people person, but that changes once I get to know you. The closer you are to be the more mean I will be to you (as a joke ofc 🫶). I really do care for people, but honestly it’s quite hard to show it (hugs are the way to go fr). I’m a great listener and always listen to what my friends tell me. Even go out of my way to help them to the best of my ability. Since i’m naturally a quiet, antisocial person I don’t speak to people about my problems. If I ever were to speak to someone about it, it’s normally my closest friends. It’s probably obvious I don’t like social gatherings. I’m quite sensitive tbh 🧍‍♂️

I don’t think I have a lot of hobbies tbh. It normally just consist of the same things. I play video games a lot, the main game being genshin impact. If I’m not playing video games I watch anime, read manga, or…. sleep. Normally I wouldn’t watch TV or movies, but if I ever watch movies they are normally Studio Ghibli movies (Studio Ghibli supremacy 🧎‍♀️💪). When I’m not able to do any of that, or just don’t want to do any of that I listen to music. I like to space out and daydream when I listen to music. My last hobby is…….. theatre. Definitely doesn’t fit in with my personality. 🤝

This seems long, apologies for that. 🤧 Thank you though!

I found your match! Come to meet them, c'mon c'mon!

No worries for talking at first, Kenji definitely does all the work at first! In fact I think that among crowds or any kind of social gathering, he would back you up without hesitation at all. He's just like that, trying to protect you at any cost from feeling uncomfortable! For sure a sweet guy to be with I guess. Also very affectionate as well, probably would either be the one to start them or just wait for you to, but that would also be the thing he would do the most as well!

I don't see him having much of hobbies as well, being born and raised in rather rural place and doesn't have much knowledge about the city life or other things. But I'm sure he would be the kind of guy to bring you at the country side to relax together. Or watch studio Ghibli stuff together. I think he has a big studio Ghibli aesthetic on him, change my mind. So I think he would absolutely love them if you make him watch some!

A fellow theater kid, I feel like Yun-Jin's idea of dates is either bringing you around to watch some opera spectacles or just give you a ticket.

She is patient and kind, would definitely wait for you to be comfortable around her before starting anything, such as hugs and affection, definitely won't feel bothered by you "insulting" her jockingly, if that means that you are being closer together. Sure, wouldn't exactly retaliate but would be for sure endeared by the way you show her affection.

Once you begin to hug, I feel that Yun-Jin can become a force of nature on that! She is an affectionate person, and not afraid to show it. Ready to back you up as well when you feel nervous around people, either keeping you close or taking you away from the scene.

[jackra881t5cratch35]

Don't Look Up Review, 6.37/10 (Why I hate movies like this)

TL;DR: This movie is okay but mildly entertaining. Made me cry, so it gets points there. However, this movie mostly pissed me off. The filmmakers are disconnected. If you want people to save the world, don't insult them. Give them solutions and compassion.

The Review: I know I’m late to the party with this movie. When it came out, I was interested but something bothered me. Some projects don’t feel like they are for me. Every time I think of media like this, I think of ‘Handmaid’s Tale.’ I know our rights are being taken away, the world is coming to an end, the people running our country suck, it is all our fault, and I don’t need Hollywood to tell me this. I’m angry enough.

In 2015 I watched ‘The Big Short’ and thoroughly enjoyed it when I was a lot less pissed off. Then I saw ‘Vice’ in 2018 and thought it was a lot less enjoyable. It was still good, but it was nothing new for me. There was too much winking at the audience, but the performances were good. Then I sat down with ‘Don’t Look Up’ last night and yeah it was in enjoyable but not as enjoyable as those other 2 films. I put it on while I was writing, and it was perfect for background noise.  Something surprising happened at the end for me.

As the comet is careening toward Earth. All the problems the movie presented begin to reconcile themselves. It is a little too convenient, but I don’t care either. I sat through this whole thing. I just want to know whether the world explodes. Well, it does, and I started crying. A lot. What I put on to break the silence, elicited an emotional reaction. I’ve been dealing with my own mortality. It scares me. I’m okay with who I am, and what it all means but what is there? So, maybe that had something to do with it.

This film has a bigger problem. The movie is making light of these very serious issues. I remember when ‘Don’t Look Up’ was being released. There was talk about it being satire about climate change. After watching this movie, all I have to say is fuck you McKay. Shows an out of touch look at the world. What can we do as an average person? Really. Going on TV and screaming CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL. Won’t change a thing. Neither will going to the Louvre and throwing soup on things.

When ‘Don’t Look Up,’ was released we had a Far-Right clown for Republican president. The POTUS in the movie in the movie was very similar to the 1 at the time. Now we have a Center-Right POTUS (in 2024) who represents the Democratic party. The current says he is doing more for climate change, but is he? Not really. So, what do we do? The system is broken. Give more money? To Whom? Yellow Dot Studios? No Thanks. The movie depicts so many average people as dumb and it’s in bad taste.

So, thanks for establishing the problem with no solutions per usual.  I would love for people to humble themselves. Make a project showing what can be done. A movie like ‘How To Blow Up a Pipeline’ comes to mind. Not saying do let’s go commit mass destruction but I am saying it was a lot more compelling than this movie was. Push comes to shove; I will be doing exactly what happens at the end of this movie. Enjoying my family and friends because the people in power don’t care about us. Not even Hollywood/Netflix.

Grade: D

[yo-cousin-dima]

so it’s Christmas and as usual i’m dozing off the traditional British carb-fest... and i’ve come to the conclusion that next year i want to actually come out of my shell. so far i’ve tried to be more social and despite a lack of confidence it’s been v v fun, so i’m beginning to actually want to make the effort to go out and meet people. if shy, socially anxious 15 year old me could see me she’d probably call me a loser but i know she’d secretly be proud. idk what the point of this post is, other than to remind myself to work harder this year! 

it’s just hard to make friends, and it’s scary to know that it gets more and more difficult even for people more socially competent than me. maybe i’m autistic or something, idk, i just feel like every convo is a minefield, i can never get anything right. i try but then people are mean or dismissive and i never know what i did wrong... it’s just weird to think that my body is betraying me somehow, like my gestures or tone are signalling something i don’t actually feel. anyway, that’s something i’ve decided to work on. i guess i’ll try different things and if nothing works i’ll just settle for being alone - it’s not so bad and the friends i have are supportive and funny enough. i just want to be one of those people who just... works... socially, someone who can effortlessly talk to everyone and make people feel at ease. i like being direct and no-nonsense (yes very girlboss mmhmm) but people never take me seriously lmao. 

i’m surrounded by people who think they’re quirky and different when they’re all into Marvel movies and anime. i don’t want to judge - that stuff is popular for a reason, and i used to be the *biggest* weeb - but ... it’s popular. you can discuss that stuff with anyone! meanwhile i still have so many genuinely strange crushes, interests and favourite films/series and i haven’t found many people who share that. the curse of being into weird shit is that there are few people you can talk to about it - and i *want* to talk about it, so badly!  Tumblr was so good back in the day because of that, but now i’m touching grass regularly (gasp) i prefer in-person friendships. 

anyway, it feels lowkey insulting to see people pretend to be 'the weird kid’ when they’re not, and prob even made fun of people like me at school. and so many of these people just fit in without having to try, they find their groups and are so damn similar, style and life events and everything, until they all just blend into one homogenous whole. it’s cool but part of me wonders if i’ll actually enjoy that. i’m way too used to my own company and ideas; i want to share those but i’m not sure anybody is actually interested. people see me almost as a kid, because i look pretty young for my age, and my dress sense is ... ‘creative’ (in a bad way). i don’t want to overhaul my entire personality and style but it really feels like i have to in order to get people to listen and like me. “just be yourself” works for folks who act normal and relatable, but ngl i feel like a total freak amongst other women. they all seem put-together in a way that makes sense, kinda poised and collected, like they’ve carefully curated their sense of self and society just accepts that. 

so yeah, to sum up this weird rambling post... i need to figure myself out next year, and once more i’ve gotta try and make friends. i get bogged down with considerations and hypotheticals but i never actually *try*, and somehow it took me 10+ years to notice this??? 10IQ i swear. it’s appropriate that my Tumblr handle is ‘dima’ because like him circa present day i’m a mess :))

[kisskawa]

— touch of you

“you ok?” your question cuts through fuzzy visions and the constant thrum of city noise in the background.

“yeah,” oikawa nods, “i was just-” his arm stills mid air, halfway into a point when he notices the paused tv. “just thinking,” he finishes lamely, biting back the urge to wince at his poor response.

he’s not lying. he was thinking. it’d been a long day and oikawa craved your touch. he’d been hoping you’d angle yourself ever so slightly to the side, giving his head a place to rest on your thighs. or that you’d sink into his side, hugging his arm to anchor yourself from melting completely.

but you didn’t.

and then oikawa’s want turned to guilt, pooling heavy in his stomach as the recognition of his selfishness surfaced. because you’re so kind and caring and you’d let him pick the movie tonight, and it’s taken some time but oikawa had learnt to understand how you love.

you’re not touchy. not one to thoughtlessly trail featherlight fingertips down oikawa’s abdomen or offer open arms mindlessly. instead, your shows of affection are quiet and subtle, barely there displays that seek only to bring oikawa some ease, some warmth.

and despite what you’d expected from someone with such a large presence and commanding nature, oikawa had been nothing but patient and willing and lovely.

he let you set the pace, encouraging smile enticing the actions from you whilst still remaining aware of your boundaries. the first time you’d linked pinkies with him had been after a series of careful brushes of the hand, sending electricity coursing through his veins, heart jolting and singing at once. but rather than let his excitement flood and overwhelm, oikawa had curled his finger around yours, settling for a pleased little grin and holding tight onto that feeling of happiness that always bubbled up when with you.

it’s a feeling you get too, tucked away next to your heart where you keep all things precious - fond memories, kind words and tooru’s smile. it’s a place only he’s familiar with. and it drives you to shift, leg swinging over oikawa’s lap so that your chests are pressed against each other’s.

your confidence is beginning to wane by the time oikawa settles, head dropping into the crook of your neck with a satisfied hum. his arms wrap around your torso, giving you a brief though tight squeeze as if beginning to recharge, as if to say thank you.

oikawa’s happiness spills in an instant. it’s as infectious as ever - at a family gathering, at flattering admiration and praise, at the end of a winning match - and it has your arms travelling upwards, coming to rest across his shoulders and behind his neck.

“what are you thinking about?” you murmur, voice low like you don’t know.

the corners of tooru’s lips peak up. a sign he’s thought of something entirely ridiculous to say.

“you.” it’s also the truth.

you try for a dismissive scoff, it comes out amused instead, dampened by your smile. “you’re awful,” you chide, groaning.

“you love it,” oikawa rallies easily.

“i love you,” you shrug, words flowing like second nature.

“now who’s the awful one?” oikawa beams, nosing your cheek, “the awful, cheesy, corny one.”

“you’re contagious,” you nod seriously, though wriggling threateningly on his lap as he continues to pile on wet, lovesick adjectives. your bluff is silently called, the both of you are fully aware you’d already decided against leaving for a while.

it’s a funny sort of statement, its meaning an insult but lined with all the adoration of a compliment. and it has tooru replacing his stock of sticky, fond words with a declaration of “i love you.” he couldn’t go too long without returning the sentiment after all.

his lips are pressed against your skin in hopes it’ll allow the confession to seep through directly into your heart, “i love you so much, you don’t even know.”

the chuckle that escapes you rumbles through into oikawa’s chest, filling him with joy. “course i do,” you comment matter-of-factly, eyes curving with pride, “i know everything about you, everything about loving you too.”

and tooru can’t help but boldly agree. because it took only a thought and you had found yourself comfy on his lap, wrists looped around his neck to pull him flush against you. it started perhaps slightly rough, actions somewhat rare, and still, greedily tooru thinks all the time in the world with you is too little. for, how could he ever have enough of your touch, of you?

lithe fingers play with the wisps of hair that fall upon his nape, a sly trick you’d long since learnt would make tooru turn boneless in your arms. and all bothersome cares and worries leave his mind.

throat suddenly syrupy thick, tooru replies to your affection with three taps at the base of your spine, just enough pressure to be firm and steady and sure.

you know what they mean too.