#can there at least be a murder. or a ghost. can anyone do anything

[livvyofthelake]

i’m sorry. this is the most boring movie i’ve ever seen in my life i cannot finish it tonight…

[bitchthefuck1]

I feel like everybody has at least one highly specific AU that just rotates in their brain 24/7 like a rotisserie chicken

[officialaemondtargaryen]

Dinner & Diatribes

❝i knew it from the first look of mischief in your eye.❞

Summary: You both swiped right and suddenly you're standing in a stranger's kitchen while he makes you spaghetti.

Pairing: Modern Aegon Targaryen x Reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Author’s Note: this might be the most self-indulgent fic i've ever written, so fair warning. also, thank you tom, who inspired this by saying that dinner & diatribes would be aegon's hozier song. it's just true. anyways, this was really fun to write.

Warnings: language, recreational drug use, alcohol use, fluff, intense sexual situations (including: oral sex - female receiving, sexual intercourse - p in v), just two single people who are horny, more fluff, aegon being so cute that i couldn't stop smiling the whole time i was writing this.

It was precisely 9:39 PM on a Tuesday.

You were sitting cross-legged on your couch, nose deep in a fresh murder mystery that you had been working through for the last two days. There was a lit joint between your fingers that you were nursing, taking little hits so that it wouldn’t completely burn out, and on the cushion next to you, your phone softly vibrates and lights up; a familiar icon flashes across the screen and you can easily make out the words, “It’s a Match” from the corner of your eye. 

It’d been a regular occurrence since you had downloaded that accursed app. 

You’d been single for far too long, according to your best friend, though you hadn’t really noticed. The sweet silence of a solitary life was something that you had enjoyed for the most part. It wasn’t even like your online dating life had really taken off, either. You’d get matches but hardly anyone would reach out in any way that made you feel like they were serious. They wanted your Snapchat username, or they were in an ‘open’ relationship or asking for a threesome, and one guy even asked if you would send him pictures of your feet. Even some of the ones you thought were serious about taking you out- or even just hooking up- would end up ghosting you before anything actually happened. 

“It’s not supposed to be serious,” you could hear your friend’s words rattling around in your brain. You shake your head and focus once again on your book; they have a suspect, it’s the best friend! How fitting.

Once again, your phone lights up and vibrates. Not wanting to be distracted from the plot, you ignore your new match and get back to your mystery with anticipation; the best friend is about to confess. You go to take another hit of your joint and frown upon realizing it’s burnt out. As you move to grab your lighter, in comes another message, and another, and another. You stop what you’re doing and pick up your phone, swiping at the screen until you find the culprit. He’s known only as Aegon T, and according to the one sentence he has written on his profile, he has a dog. You swipe through his pictures- the dog is a golden retriever, the man looks like a golden retriever. 

In the message thread, he’s basically talking to himself. 

There’s four new messages waiting for you, while three little dots begin flashing at the bottom of the screen; disappearing and reappearing as you read what he’s already sent. 

“So, I’m high.”

“And I am making spaghetti… and it’s really good.”

“At least I hope it’s really good, it could just be the weed…”

“I could use a taste-tester, if you’re up for it? I can’t pay you or anything, but it’s honest work 😏”

Aegon begins typing again and you watch the screen, a smirk on your lips. You are 99% sure that the spaghetti is truly an innuendo for what he really wants and have half a heart to just block him, but you watch as those little gray dots continue in the bottom left corner of the screen; he’s going back and forth with himself and you can’t help but find it oddly cute. Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you contemplate a witty response, but before you can even begin typing, he sends a fifth message. 

“That was weird as fuck, right?”

Then a sixth.

“You probably don’t want to come over to some random guy’s house on a Tuesday.”

He finishes up with a seventh message.

“Unless you do…”

He almost sends an apology. After all, what's another message? He’s already fucked this whole thing up; not even giving himself a chance before he nose-dived. If he was being honest, he should just go ahead and delete his whole account; save you from secondhand embarrassment and save himself from repeating the same mistake again in the future. He sets the phone down on the kitchen counter and goes back to ripping bong hits to calm his nerves. Though, he’s unable to keep himself from checking his phone for a response; a response that likely wasn’t going to come and he’d spend the rest of his night feeling like a complete idiot. 

Seven back-to-back messages should have screamed ‘red flag’, but you’re glancing at the clock as if you were seriously contemplating taking this stranger up on his offer. After all, you do have needs just as much as the next person. But, you’re wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts, your hair’s a mess, and you were covered in the crumbs of your munchie snacks. Meaning, you were nowhere close to being prepared for what was sure to happen between you and this random stoner offering you dinner. 

Yet, you respond to him, “I could never turn down spaghetti”. 

Aegon’s stirring the sauce when he gets your message. He’s instantly elated, thrusting a celebratory fist into the air. His fingers fly across the keyboard swiftly, sending another quick message, “Atta girl 🙃 My place is on the corner of 9th and 51st, above Jasper’s.”

“Be there soon,” you reply with haste. 

It was apartment #4 and you made sure to text your friend the address, and given name of your potential murderer, and also share your location for her to keep an eye out.  She says all you have to do is text her at any time if you need her to call and bail you out with a fake emergency. All she asks in return is for you to have fun and let her know if you are planning on spending the night- which was an idea that you weren’t opposed to, but it wasn’t something you were planning on. 

You’re nervous as you stand outside of the door to his apartment, fist hovering for a moment. Now’s the time to make a fast exit- you haven’t met him, you could turn around right now and never meet him. You could wake up alive in the morning, safe in your own bed. Or, you can knock on the door and have what might be a really nice spaghetti dinner with a really nice guy. Hell, he could even be the love of your life and in fifty years you’ll both look back on this day and laugh about how you met on Tinder and how you were stupid enough to go to his house and not a public place. 

Finally, you knock. 

Aegon puts the lid back on his spaghetti sauce and shuffles into the living room. Sunfyre is on the couch with his ears perked; his tail’s wagging and he’s panting eagerly, waiting patiently to meet this new visitor. Aegon whispers over to him, “wish me luck,” and thinks to himself, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish. He peers through the peephole when he approaches the door and there you are, a sigh of relief deflates his chest. 

“Oh, thank God,” you can hear him say as the door swings open. His accent is surprisingly British. “You’re real.”

The very first thing that you notice are his eyes. They’re piercing; somehow blue and lavender at the same time– the color of a warm, summer sunrise and they’re crinkling at the edges as he smiles. He’s wearing a pair of dark gray sweats and a pale green hoodie, and the only word that comes to mind when you look at him is warmth. He’s somehow more attractive in person than he is in the pictures on his profile, which you didn’t think was possible, but he’s standing right in front of you and you can’t help but think to yourself, he doesn’t look like a murderer. 

Then again, neither did Ted Bundy.  

Aegon stands there for a moment, just staring at you, unable to do anything else. His words escape him, he can barely even breathe. You look exactly the same as your pictures; even without the makeup and even in the shitty, fluorescent overhead lights of the hallway. Even in a sweatshirt and pajama shorts, you’re stunning. He’s having a hard time believing that you actually showed up and he doesn’t realize that he’s been staring for much too long until you shrug back at him. 

“Did you think I wasn’t?” You ask with creased brows and a lopsided smile.

The corners of his lips pull upwards as he looks at you, “I don’t know. You’re just so beautiful, I’m still not entirely convinced you aren’t some sort of hologram… or a robot.” 

“Wow, you’re pretty smooth,” you say with a playful smirk, desperately trying to keep your composure— trying to play it cool, hoping that he hasn’t caught on to the fact that you’re secretly spiraling, because it took all of one smile and one compliment and you were done for. “But, I’ll have you know that flattery won’t work on me. I’m here for the spaghetti and the spaghetti alone.” 

“My apologies,” Aegon says with a chuckle as he holds his hands up defensively. “Right this way, then.” 

He steps to the side, allowing you to enter his apartment, and shuts the door behind you. It’s nice, clean, smells like fresh baked bread and tomato sauce. There’s niche artwork adorning the walls, he’s got candles burning, and there’s some lowkey, downtempo R&B playing softly in the background. He quickly moves past you and disappears into the kitchen, leaving you to follow him. 

However, before you can take all of two steps into his apartment, a flash of golden fur is suddenly at your hip, pawing for attention. You drop down to a knee and happily accept any and all kisses from the pup. “Oh! Hi, what’s your name?”

Aegon sticks his head around the corner and says, “That is Sunfyre. In case you were wonderin’, he’s a very good judge of character and I will be consultin’ with him later where you’re concerned, fair warning.” 

You roll your eyes and scratch behind Sunfyre’s ears, his tail thumps in approval. 

“Would you like something to drink?” He continues and disappears back into the kitchen. “I’ve got wine and bottled water. Oh, and milk?” There’s a rustling in the kitchen before Aegon adds with a nervous chuckle, “scratch that, there is no milk.” 

You politely excuse yourself from Sunfyre and step into the small dining room off of the kitchen. 

There’s a grin on your lips, which you pursed so that he doesn’t think you’re laughing at him. Sunfyre joins the two of you and circles around his owner’s legs as Aegon empties an almost full half-gallon of milk down the drain. His kitchen is small but looks to be well used, which you appreciate. You know almost nothing about this man, other than his name- if ‘Aegon’ was even his real name- and the name of his dog, and yet here you were, standing in the threshold of his kitchen with a strange sense of comfortability as if you had been lifelong pals. 

“Water is fine,” you tell him. 

He produces a bottle of water from his fridge and tosses it over to you with ease and goes back to the stove. You step further into the kitchen, taking in your surroundings. The kitchen, like the living room, is covered in artwork and vintage decor- things you’d only find in some obscure thrift store or estate sale. On the refrigerator are a collection of magnets from different cities and countries, real touristy type shit. Some of them even had names on them; Alexander, Aaron, Alistair, Alan, Adolf. 

Maybe these are the names of people he’s killed. 

“You travel a lot?” You ask, trying to keep the conversation going.

“I try to,” he says from over his shoulder as he continues to stir the sauce. You can hear him set the lid back on the pot. “Most of those are from my sister, Helaena. She thinks it’s hilarious to give me magnets with random ‘A’ names since you’ll never find the name Aegon on any of those,” he says from behind you. He’s leaning against the counter with a half glass of wine. You quirk an eyebrow at him, not fully convinced. “She has a few from me that say Helen.”

“Is that her?” You ask, finger pointing to a pretty blonde in one of the many photographs he had pinned up.

He nods and takes a step closer to you. He’s so close that you can feel his warmth, smell his aftershave. The proximity causes you to blush and he smirks in response, leaning over your shoulder as he points to the other people in the pictures. “Those two are my little brothers, Aemond and Daeron,” he claims and then points to two women. “That’s my half-sister, Rhae, and next to her is my mother.”

“The redhead?” You ask surprised, given she didn’t look like she could be old enough to have four grown children. He nods and takes a step back, leaning against the counter with half-lidded eyes and a tipsy blush. “She looks like she could be your sister,” you say softly, turning back to glance at all of the faces; he seemed proud of his family, like they were very close. 

You turn away from the fridge and lean against the counter at his side. It’s quiet for a moment, save for the music and the sound of boiling water where the noodles were cooking. You look at him and the corners of your lips can’t help but twist up into a shy smile, but you bite at the inside of your cheek out of nervous habit. He props himself up on his elbows, taking a sip of his wine, clearly comfortable with the silence. 

“So,” you look up at him and his little smirk grows. “About the job…”

“Ah, yes,” he nods. “As I stated earlier, I won’t be able to pay you a monetary wage, but the position does come with a benefits package.”

“And what exactly would this benefits package include?” There’s an innocent flirtatiousness in your voice that only adds to the tension. 

“Outside of the free gourmet meals that I would be providin’ to ya, which is obviously the most important part,” he smiles and steps to the side to grab a spoon from the drawer and holds it out to you. Your fingers softly close around his as you pluck the utensil from his grasp. He clears his throat to distract from the fact that he was visibly flustered from the slight touch. “There’s also unlimited cuddle sessions,” before he can finish, you shoot him a look. “With Sunfyre, of course! He’s the real boss ‘round here, after all.” 

“Cuddling with the boss?” You quirk an eyebrow and look down at the golden retriever, his eyes round and gleaming; clearly waiting for a hand-out. “Sounds like a conflict of interest to me.”

“Well, if it’s a conflict of interest you’re worried about,” he counters quickly with a soft yet playful tone. “I s’pose we could renegotiate the terms of the agreement and you could have me instead.” 

“I’m listening.”

“He might be better at cuddling for obvious reasons and he might be better lookin’,” Aegon continues. “But, I give better backrubs. I mean, I have thumbs and he don’t. You can’t give decent backrubs without thumbs, can you? Plus, he’s a sloppy kisser.” 

“Oh, you’re really trying to sweeten the deal now, huh? Backrubs and kisses? I must admit, that is quite a compelling offer,” you muse. “It seems my decision hinders on whether or not you can actually cook, wouldn’t want to accept the position blindly, now would I?”

“Are ya doubtin’ my skills?” He asked playfully. 

“No offense, but you possess the aura of someone who could fuck up a can of Spaghettios,” you tell him with a sincere smile. “So, forgive me if I don't get my hopes up.”

Aegon laughs and it’s a warm and infectious sound that fills the kitchen. It’s genuine, as is his perfect smile. You can’t seem to keep yourself from staring; eyes softly tracing every detail of his face– from his full, pink pout, to the scar above his right eyebrow, and the dimple of his chin– thinking to yourself that you’ve never seen a man more beautiful. His smile turns back into a smirk as he notices you staring at his lips and you look up to meet his eyes. There’s something about the way he looks at you that leaves you feeling vulnerable. His gaze softens as you look away, turning your attention back to the spaghetti sauce on the stove in front of you to distract yourself from the blush creeping up your neck.

There’s only one way this night ends.

It was obvious before you even left your house and it was certainly obvious now. 

“Go on, then,” he prods, motioning to the pot on the stovetop.

His eyes are wide with anticipation as you dip into the simmering sauce, stirring it a few times before bringing the spoon to your lips. He’s nervous; it’s his mother’s recipe– one he’s spent years perfecting– but with his luck, you will most likely think it’s steaming garbage. Yet, he watches intently; holding his breath as your perfect lips curl to blow softly, cooling the sauce before you finally taste it. 

The moment the spoon touches your tongue, you're determined to remain impartial. After all, you’ve had your fair share of disappointing meals from men who’ve claimed to be great cooks. Aegon certainly could be the very latest and you wouldn’t be at all surprised. So, you keep your expectations low, and try your hardest to remain stoic, but as the flavors begin to unfold, you can feel your resolve wavering. 

It’s good. Better than most. 

Reluctantly, you have to admit that this is the second-best sauce you’ve ever had, right after your grandmother’s. You glance up at Aegon, who’s watching you with a mix of anxiety and hope, and you can’t help but smile. 

“I have to give it to you,” you say, your voice betraying a hint of admiration. “This is incredible. Almost as good as my grandmother’s.”

The relief and pride that spread across his face makes your heart flutter. 

“Yeah?” He asks with a toothy grin. 

“I’m still not completely convinced that you can actually cook, but you can– at the very least– make some top-notch spaghetti sauce,” you tell him as you place your spoon to the side. 

“Top-notch, eh?” He asks playfully as he begins plating your meal. “I’ll take it.” 

“Don’t let it get to your head,” you say to him with a laugh. “It’s just spaghetti sauce.” 

“Just spaghetti sauce? Don’t let my mum hear you say that,” he says with a smirk, setting a full plate in front of you on the counter. “I guess I’ll just have to work extra hard on the next one.”

“Assuming there will be a next one,” you reply, tone dripping with playful sarcasm. “Though, you have set the bar pretty high tonight. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Well,” he murmurs as he steps closer, his body brushing against yours as he reaches around you to grab a plate. His lips are hovering above the shell of your ear, his voice low and teasing, causing your cheeks to immediately flush as the heat between the two of you intensifies. “I’m nothing if not a perfectionist.”

For a split second you expect for him to lean in for a kiss. Your heart is simultaneously skipping beats and racing at the same time; your breath catching in your throat as he leans in— But then he smirks, grabbing the plate and taking a step backwards. He’s doing it on purpose, you realize; his proximity expertly calculated to keep you on edge. You look up at him with wide, sparkling eyes and he knows he’s got you right where he wants you. The soft blush of your cheeks has his blood pumping and sends a surge of adrenaline through him. He’s trying his absolute best to play it cool but the way you’re biting your lip and looking at him has him unraveling.

“Is that so?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. “What other skills do you have up your sleeve?”

His grin widens as he looks down at you, setting his empty plate to the side. His gaze, once again, drops to your lips. “I have a few tricks,” he says softly, his voice filled with promise. “But I doubt you’d believe me if I told you, so how about I just show you?” 

“What?” You ask with a playful innocence. “Before dinner?”

“I’m not really in the mood for spaghetti anymore.” 

“Oh?” Your smirk is only growing. “What are you in the mood for?”

Aegon says nothing, but a confident grin tugs at the corners of his lips as he rests his hands on your hips. He doesn’t hesitate to pull you in by the waist, until you’re pressed against him and his lips are on yours. The kiss is both gentle and urgent and a little bit awkward, as any first kiss should be. You felt like a teenager again, kissing a boy for the first time– butterflies in your stomach and all.

It takes no time at all for you to find your rhythm with him, and he deepens the kiss, pushing you up onto the kitchen counter to meet his height. Your arms naturally drape across his shoulders, your legs wrap around his middle. He’s completely taken over your mind, filling up every tiny space that he can fit into; the smell of his cologne, the scratch of his stubble against your skin, the feeling of his hands squeezing the flesh of your thighs– his fingertips teasing just underneath the hem of your shorts. 

Breathless, he pulls away from you as he pulls your sweatshirt over your head. He stops for a moment to take in the sight of you; clad only in your bra and shorts, lips red and blotchy, swollen and full. You’re looking up at him from under your lashes, softly biting your bottom lip as you wait for him to continue. He gently lifts his hand up to your cheek and traces the curve of your cupid’s bow with his thumb, providing one last show of tenderness before he leans in to capture your lips in another searing kiss. 

His touch is suddenly rushed; spreading a wildfire across your skin in the wake of his lips as he rips off the remainder of your clothes. It doesn’t take long at all before you’re sitting exposed on his kitchen counter in only a thong, blushing wildly and covering your face with your hands. 

“No– no hiding,” he clicks his tongue and pulls your hands away from your face. “I want to see you.”

He whispers a string of profanities and compliments as his starving eyes roam your figure. Self-doubt creeps into your mind and you momentarily consider making a quick exit, convinced he won’t like what he sees, but the way he’s looking at you makes you feel desired in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. 

Aegon’s gaze is electrifying and intense, drawing you in and silencing your negative thoughts instantly. His hands pull you in by the waist, sliding you to the edge of the counter as his lips work their way down your chin and neck; leaving a trail of red marks down to your chest. He hums, smirking as he takes one of your breasts in his mouth. His hand kneads the other, rolling your hardened nipple between two fingers. Your head falls back, lips parted slightly as you breathe out his name. 

Each sound he elicits from you urges him on even further until he’s on one knee, looking up at you from his position with those pretty eyes. He runs a hand up the back of your calf, softly teasing you with his fingertips before tossing your leg over his shoulder. You knew where he was going, and yet, you were still surprised as he began placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thighs; shivering in anticipation as goosebumps formed on your skin. 

“You’re so wet,” he says proudly, praising you. 

His eyes are locked with yours as his fingers delicately smooth over your clothed clit. He hooks a finger around the dampened cotton and pulls your thong to the side, groaning at the sight of your perfect pussy. Without wasting another second, Aegon’s mouth is suddenly on you and your hands immediately find the back of his head; fingers curling into the roots of his silver hair. 

You roll your hips against his tongue, cursing out as your legs begin to shake. He moans, face still buried deep in you and the vibrations have you writhing. Both of his arms are wrapped around your thighs now, holding you tight to him, not letting up for even a second. Then he stands, lifting you up onto his shoulders. You squeal in shock, holding onto him tightly, but he doesn’t stop; he continues to devour you as he blindly carries you towards his bedroom. 

When his knees hit the side of his bed, he tosses you back onto the mattress. 

You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch as he strips out of his clothes. . You can see the outline of his arousal; prominent and pressing firmly against the fabric of his sweats. You bite your lip at the sight and he smirks as he catches your stare. His movements are unhurried, giving you ample time to appreciate the sight before you. His hoodie and shirt come off first, then his sweats, and you can’t help but notice the way that his muscles flex with each motion. He’s not overly built, but there’s a solid strength in his frame that is evident in the way he moves.

Outside, headlights from passing cars cast streaks of light and shadows across the walls of his room. It’s quiet, the music in the other room has stopped playing and all you can hear is the sound of your own heart beating in your ears. You swallow thickly, encompassed by the tension of the moment as he crawls up the length of your body; placing tender kisses along your skin. His lips leave a trail of warmth, each touch igniting a spark that travels through your entire body.

When he reaches your face, he pauses, his breath mingling with yours as he hovers just inches away. The anticipation builds, thick and electric in the air between you. His lips find yours in a kiss that starts slow and tender but quickly deepens; fingers threading through your hair as he pulls you closer, his body pressing yours deeper into the plush mattress. Your hands explore his back, tracing the contours of his muscles, feeling the tension and strength beneath his skin and coming to rest on his shoulders; gripping tightly as he continues to worship your body with his mouth. Each kiss, each touch, is deliberate, heightening your senses and pulling you further into the moment.

You curse at the feeling of his girth against your entrance. Your hand moves up to the back of his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips as he presses slowly into you. 

“Oh fuck,” he whimpers into the crook of your neck as his arms become weak. 

He knows that he won’t last like this; it’s been a while and you feel way too good. He’s slow at first, wanting to steady himself and maintain control, but his rhythm picks up quickly; hips moving with an unrelenting rhythm, each thrust bringing you both closer to the edge. You can feel his muscles tense, his grip on you tightening as he buries his face in your neck. His moans are a mix of pleasure and desperation, and you can tell he’s fighting to hold back.

You tighten your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, feeling the overwhelming need to reach that peak together. His pace quickens, the tension in his body building to a breaking point. You feel the same pressure inside of you mounting before it’s suddenly crashing over you like a wave. He follows seconds later, a low groan escaping his lips as he spills into you. The intensity of the moment leaves you both breathless and clinging to each other, bathing in the afterglow. 

“That was incredible,” he murmurs against your skin, head pressed to your chest as you stroke his hair softly. His eyes flutter shut as he listens to the sounds of your heartbeat. 

You hum in agreement, smiling to yourself as you savor the peacefulness of the moment. 

Suddenly, you’re joined by Sunfyre jumping up on the bed, his tail wagging enthusiastically. You smile at him and pat the empty space next to you, inviting him to join your cuddle session. He eagerly accepts the invitation, circling the bed a few times before snuggling up next to you. Aegon lifts his head and smiles, clearly pleased that you would be so open to having the dog in bed with you. He wraps his arm around both you and Sunfyre, pulling you closer. 

“This is perfect,” he says softly, his voice filled with contentment as he lays his head back on your chest. 

"So, about that job offer," you say playfully, your fingers tracing patterns along his skin. "I think I'll accept the position. When would you like for me to start?"

He lifts his head to look at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “How about tomorrow night at seven?”

Before you can respond, a distinct burning smell reaches your nose. Your brows furrow as you sniff the air. “Do you smell that?”

Aegon’s eyes widen in realization. “The spaghetti!” 

He jumps up from the bed, pulling on his clothes quickly, and scrambles into the kitchen. You follow behind him, tossing one of his t-shirts over your head and meet him in the kitchen. 

“I guess I forgot to turn off the burner,” Aegon looks disappointed but then chuckles, shaking his head. He looks at you with a glint in his eye and smirks. “Occupational hazard, I guess.”

“Oh, that sucks!” You laugh, playfully nudging him. “Is it too late to back out of the job now?”

“Way too late for that,” he says as he pulls you into a soft kiss, silencing any doubts immediately. “You’re mine now.” 

“Mm,” you hum against his lips. “But I came here for the spaghetti.”

He chuckles and pulls back slightly. “Will you settle for pizza?”

“I’ll settle for anything, as long as it’s with you,” you say with a smile as you wrap your arms around his waist. “And as long as there’s extra cheese!”

[yjhariani]

Warnings: Profanity, angst.

“Again, does anybody have a lighter?” Price asked a little louder this time.

Soap gently elbowed Ghost on the side. Ghost only turned to look at him, tilting his head a little to show his annoyance.

They were almost in the middle of nowhere. At least they had electricity and water. What they did not have was a lighter, thus Price’s moaning. He was going to light up a cigar.

Ghost knew why Soap was elbowing him. Soap was referring to that lighter in Ghost’s pocket. The one he held personally for himself and himself only.

So, Ghost ignored the sergeant. Price had arrived in front of them by then.

“Simon, you smoke,” Price brought up.

“I don’t have a lighter,” Ghost said.

“You pray with it every night,” Soap muttered.

Price and Ghost looked at him. Ghost was practically glaring at Soap. Soap looked like he wished he had not said a word.

“Am I missing something?” Price asked.

Ghost said nothing and now Price was also looking at Soap rather intimidatingly.

“I… Ghost has a lighter,” Soap said.

“I don’t,” Ghost insisted.

Price now turned his expecting glare at Ghost. That got Soap a little confident to proceed.

“As I said, he basically prayed with it every night before he sleeps,” Soap continued.

“Just this once, Simon, I will lose my shit if I can’t get this cigar lit up,” Price said.

Ghost did not react at first, but seeing that the two of them were not going to let this go, he shot a final murderous glare at Soap before putting his hand into his pocket. He held the lighter in his palm and pulled it out of his pocket. 

Looking at the captain, Ghost almost did not want to hand out the lighter. However, he ended up opening his palm and revealed the lighter that sat on his palm.

It was as if the whole area turned frozen. Gaz had just walked in and saw the reveal. Even he stopped at his track.

The lighter was yours. It used to be yours. It did belong to you. It did not belong to you anymore. It belonged to Ghost now. You gave it to him before your last mission. The mission that got you killed.

Every thing was fine before that—no, every thing was perfect.

Ghost and you were basically a nightmare couple. A nightmare as in badass motherfuckers who got shit done effectively. Sure, there were flaws such as the constant passive-agressive flirting, recklessness, and tense eye contacts, but, damn… the two of you were great at your job together.

That last mission was indeed going to be your last mission because you decided to not renew your military contract and you both were about to get married. Without telling anyone. However, the others just knew. They always knew that the two of you would end up together one way or another.

Then, shit happened. The worst happened. The irony.

You ended up buried under the ground and became a memory. Ghost ended up here, with these three, more bitter than he ever was.

You always had his heart and it was buried with you. Whatever sentimental left in him, it was out of respect of the memory of you. Of the memory you both were about to make and never did.

Price, Gaz, and Soap never brought you up. Not since the funeral. Price tried and Ghost ended up walking out of the room without saying anything, slamming the door on his way out.

This would be the first time anything about you ever came up ever since that incident. Soap had no idea it was the lighter. Ever. So, his heart did not only stop when he saw it, it would blow up if it could. Gaz used to borrow the lighter to do tricks, so he would recognise it from afar. Price had his cigars lit up by the lighter a few times before.

The four of them were frozen there for quite some time.

“So, we don’t have a lighter,” Price concluded before anyone of them started bursting into either anger or tears.

“Yeah, we don’t,” Soap nodded. “Steamin’ Jesus.”

“You know, there’s a stove in the kitchen. You can light your cigar up with it,” Gaz brought up. “I’m about to cook something, too.”

“Right, right,” Price nodded before walking away.

“I’ll help make sure no one’s burning anything down and get us compromised,” Soap stated before leaving the area.

Ghost stayed where he stood a while after they left. He stared at the lighter for some time, thinking about what you might say if you were still here. None of them would be this messy. The four of them would likely be laughing right now of some stupid joke you made.

Maybe you were still here. He might be the Ghost, but you were the ghost now. Maybe you were laughing at them right now.

“Would’ve been nice if you’re here,” Ghost said under his breath before pocketing the lighter back.

[whateverloomis]

What if you did a Billy x reader x Stu where they’re like IN LOVE in love w reader but the readers just super oblivious and when they kill their girlfriends readers just like “oh shit I’m next” but they confess they’re love also reader could be gender neutral

(I’m sorry if this sucks I am NOT good at requests)

Don't worry anon, it's totally okay! I feel like I got way too dramatic with this lmao, but we need a little bit of drama to spice things up once in a while :P

Warnings: Hopelessly romantic Billy and Stu (lol,) stalking, mentions of murders, touchy feely Billy and Stu, kissing (nothing too intense here,) unedited

Word count: 1.3k

Reader: GN, no pronouns used

Casey, Tatum and now Sidney. You're most likely next. No, you are next, 100%. Why would the ghost face killer spare you? You're part of the friend group and you sure as hell aren't special. At least that's what you told yourself, but Billy and Stu thought different.

They were both painfully in love with you. They couldn't handle having anyone trying to hit on you and steal you from them. They were possessive and with each day it got even more intense and fucked up.

They's kill whoever showed any kind of romantic interest in you. It was unbearable to know there was someone else other than them who felt for you.

Billy loved to follow you to your house and make random apparitions when you least expected it. He thought it was so adorable when you did that little jump when he scared you.

"Billy! You scared me!" You said after gasping.

"Aw I didn't mean to." He said, eyes dark with amusement.

You looked around, anxiety evident since he triggered your fight or flight. What if there was someone else following you? What if the killer's stalking you without you realizing it? If Billy, your close friend who you could easily recognize could do it then a masked killer could do it too. You were terrified.

"It's okay I... Can you walk me home? It's getting kinda dark already." You asked and Billy smirked. He got exactly what he wanted.

"Sure thing."

•

Somewhere along the way he placed his hand around your waist while you guys walked. You didn’t think much of it since he obviously didn’t mean anything by it, so you thought. Instead, you expressed to him how scared you were because of the kills taking place in Woodsboro. It had been months since your friends were slaughtered and you got pretty good at suppressing your emotions and continuing your life semi normally, but it still got to you inevitably from time to time.

Billy and Stu were your primary source of comfort. After the kills took place they didn’t waste any time and became as close to you as they could.

“I understand your worries and fears, YN. Really, I do, but…” he trailed off. Billy didn’t want to exactly dismiss your words, he just wanted to play around with them a little bit so everything was in his and Stu’s favor.

“…but you have me now. Me and Stu. We’ll protect you no matter what. You’re safe, I promise.” Billy reassured and smirked in satisfaction once he felt you relax under his shoulder.

“You’re right,” you said softly as you climbed up the stairs to your front porch.

Billy stood in front of you, one step lower and leaned against the wooden rail. He looked into your eyes and for a second your heart skipped a beat, but you blinked quickly and looked away, composing yourself.

Billy is undeniably attractive but you couldn't go there, plus there was no chance in hell he'd be interested, so you brush any weird feelings away.

"You home alone tonight? I can keep you company if you'd like," the boy suggested and you definitely wouldn't have minded one bit. Being home alone wasn't your favorite thing especially after the murders. Much less being alone an entire week thanks to your parents being away on a work trip.

You hesitated for a moment, not knowing if it would be best to be alone or with someone in the house. What if Billy got killed instead of you? Or worse, what if you both got killed? In your own home? The irrational thoughts ran wild and Billy could see that you were lost in them.

"Hey" he said softly and grabbed your hand reassuringly, secretly seeking more physical contact with you; "It's okay if you don't want me to-" - "No, no it's not that I just..." you trailed off when you felt Billy touch your cheek with his free hand, looking into your eyes. Was he going to kiss you? It definitely looked like he was, but the boy got interrupted.

"What's up kiddos!? We having a party at YNs?" Stu broke Billy's moment as he approached from behind. The boy bit his lip in annoyance and glared at Stu as he made his way towards you and hugged you tightly, lifting you up in the process.

You inevitably giggled at his playfulness and placed your hands on his chest as he set you down.

"C'mon! Let's have a movie night or something! You got popcorn here?" Stu asked excitedly and you nodded. His cheerfulness made the idea sound perfect, so you took his offer and invited the boys in.

•

"Ugh, why is there always a lowkey love interest in horror movies? Everyone is gonna die anyways." You said related to the film you were watching.

Billy craned his neck to the side and looked at you, lifting an eyebrow in intrigue; "Why wouldn't there be? It makes things more interesting." He said and Stu hummed in agreement, lost in the sex scene that was taking place on the screen.

"Well, yeah but what's the point? Honestly." You replied and Billy gave you a confused expression.

"I mean, have you ever been in love? If you analyze it, it does make sense." Billy said and you thought for a second before replying; "Mm, no. I don't think I ever have."

At your words Billy shifted on the couch to face you completely. Stu paused the movie, too shocked to continue watching the film.

"Are you serious?" Billy asked and Stu looked at you in shock, his head resting on Billy's shoulder.

"No. It's not a big deal guys. Plus, nobody has ever been in love with me either so it doesn't really matter."

The boys tensed up at your words. Were you really that oblivious? The tension, the touchiness, the compliments, all their love languages spilled on you wasn't obvious enough?

"What if I told you that you're wrong?" Billy asked, his voice soft.

"The signs have been in front of you the whole time, YN!" Stu said, losing his patience.

You couldn't read their expressions or understand what they were trying to say. Were they admitting that they both love you? There was no way that could be true, right?

"Wh- What are you guys saying?" You asked and Billy had enough of your games, even though you had no idea they felt challenged by you.

The boy leaned in and kissed you. His hand immediately fell on your thigh and you couldn't help but kiss him back.

Stu stood up and sat behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing kisses on your shoulder.

You felt chills all over your body at the sensation of both of their lips on you. You never thought you'd ever be in this position, much less with your best friends. The only ones left after everything. The only ones who were there for you.

Your emotions were overwhelming. You were confused, excited and turned on all at once. Maybe you have feelings for them too and didn't even realize it.

"You don't know how much I've been waiting to get my hands on you." Billy whispered against your lips and kissed you a few more times before continuing; "Show you how much I feel for you... Fuck, how much we both feel for you." He bit his lower lip and kissed you again.

You moaned into Billy's mouth, his words were so promising. So real.

"Mhmm." Stu hummed softly in agreement next to you; "It's been driving me crazy, YN... Both of us." He continued and turned you around. It was his turn to kiss you now. You played with each other's tongues and moaned softly into each other's mouths before he finally said it; "We love you." He kissed you once more before continuing; "So fucking much." He finished as he squeezed your sides in excitement.

Billy wrapped his arms around you from behind, his limbs resting above Stu's; "So... So much, baby." He whispered in your ear and you just about melted.

You had so much to figure out. So much to address with yourself and so much confusion circling in your head, but all you could think about was how much you wanted them. How much you needed to feel them and explore their feelings further. How much you needed Billy Loomis and Stu Macher.

[evermoreal]

some stalker!ghost thoughts ౨ৎ ࿐

cw. 18+ mdni, fem reader, stalking, murder (nothing detailed & the reader doesn’t know), breaking & entering, voyeurism, masturbation. lmk if i missed anything ! <3

∘♡༉∘ he meets you while on leave. it’s not often he’s off-base, and when he is, he rarely leaves the dingy little apartment he rents.

∘♡༉∘ despite the rumours, ghost is human. a human with a terrible sweet tooth, actually. after spending too long staring at his empty pantry, willing something to appear, he decides to check out the little bakery he’d spotted on an early-morning run a few days ago.

∘♡༉∘ it was quiet inside — so quiet he had to double check that the ‘open’ sign was actually lit up. it was, and there was a faint, bubble-gum pop song playing from somewhere behind the ‘employees only’ door. after a moment of deliberation, he dings the little bell atop the counter.

∘♡༉∘ there’s a short yelp, and that sickly-sweet music is immediately paused. not a moment later, the door is swung open, and the prettiest little thing he’s ever seen is rattling off non-sensical apologies. there’s a bit of flour on your nose, some frosting on your chin.

∘♡༉∘ ghost knows he’s intimidating — enjoys it, even. not once in his life has he felt at all bad about it, not until now. the way you stutter over your words, staring up at him with wide eyes, growing frantic the more he silently stares has him regretting everything.

∘♡༉∘ now, he wishes he’d taken the time to swap out his balaclava for a surgical mask, or at least worn something other than his usual black hoodie and jeans. all he can do is shove his hands in his pockets, and say as softly as he can manage, “‘s okay, sweetheart.”

∘♡༉∘ you visibly relax, at that. shoulders slumping from where they’d begun to climb toward your ears. after that, you’re asking how you can help him, and when he asks for suggestions, you’re full of them. he ends up leaving with a box full of treats he doesn’t need, but he just couldn’t say no to anything you offered.

∘♡༉∘ only two days later and he’s returning. he doesn’t know why, but he can’t get you out of his head.

∘♡༉∘ the sight of your big, toothy smile when he walks in has his heart soaring. you’re immediately asking about the treats, if he enjoyed them or not. of course he did — he couldn’t get through all of them without a sore stomach, but the ones he did eat were the best damn baked goods he’d ever had.

∘♡༉∘ it’s easy enough to find your social media; you’re not great with privacy settings, and he spotted your name on your tag the first day he met you. instagram, snapchat, twitter, spotify, even facebook. your posts are so sweet, he finds himself smiling absentmindedly as he scrolls through them. baked goods, selfies of you and your friends, animals, the moon. he doesn’t know why he’s so satisfied when he concludes you don’t have a partner.

∘♡༉∘ there’s a photo of you at the beach alongside your friends. you’re smiling in it, the way one would for a photo — it’s not genuine, not like how you smile at him. but you look beautiful, so much so that it has something foul twisting in his stomach at the thought of anyone else seeing you like this. the photo wasn’t particularly revealing, and you weren’t posed scandalously, but… he grinds his teeth as he goes through the comments. he’s so, so proud when he sees that you haven’t responded to the men, not even deigning to like their comments. heart eyes and shitty compliments — he files away their names, somewhere in the back of his mind. just in case.

∘♡༉∘ it becomes routine to visit you after that. every few days he came in, spending more money than anyone should at a bakery. only once did he make the mistake of coming in on your day off. it only made sense for him to wait for your coworker to use the restroom and sneak back to the break room, snapping a photo of your schedule.

∘♡༉∘ additionally, and even more strangely, he’s glad the bakery has the sweet habit of labeling who made what treats. when you suggest the ones made by your coworkers, he’ll still purchase them, just to see you smile, but they don’t go anywhere near his mouth.

∘♡༉∘ and, hey, it’s not like sticking around until the end of your shift was a terrible idea. he’d sit in his car on the other side of the street, monitoring whoever entered and exited. he just needed to make sure you were safe. a sweet thing like you, the world would chew you up and spit you out so easily — there’s no way he’s gonna let that happen.

∘♡༉∘ it’s rare he deems someone a threat, but when an older man leaves the place with a scowl, he gets a bad feeling. immediately, he’s back inside the bakery, only to find you teary-eyed and sniffly. fury takes hold in an instant, but when you spot him and whimper out his name, he’s unable to leave again, no matter how badly he needs to hunt that man down. you step into his arms and ghost knows that prick will have to wait — right now, he needs to take care of you. wiping your eyes, cooing at you until you calm down enough to explain what happened. he insists you take your break, and when you do, he treats you to the restaurant across the street you’d mentioned you’d liked.

∘♡༉∘ the prick never comes back. you don’t question why, and simon’s glad for that. he doesn’t know how accepting you’d be if ghost told you he was buried a few cities over.

∘♡༉∘ after that, ghost’s instincts kind of go haywire. in his eyes, you’re no longer safe when he’s not around, not even at home. he spends his nights parked a few houses down, watching you through the window you so often forgot to draw the blinds across.

∘♡༉∘ a few weeks later, it was clear you were going through a bad time. although simon was greatly relieved when he found out it was merely a common flu, he was furious you still had to go to work to support yourself. in just a few months, if he kept at it, you might let him support you. for now, though, the best he could manage was slipping through an unlocked window and catching up on the chores you’d fallen behind. doing the dishes, your laundry, taking out your garbage. now, when you returned home, you’d be able to relax, to get better.

∘♡༉∘ additionally, he made mental notes of things that needed fixing. the lightbulb in your upstairs hallway was flickering, there was a leaky tap in the kitchen, and a few of your doors could use new hinges. he’d get to that, too, eventually.

∘♡༉∘ (he prayed you were delirious enough in your sickness to not notice. he was mostly right — through the window, he spotted you staring at the now-clean dishes with a puzzled expression. you brushed it off, and he exhaled in relief, returning to his phone, where he was purchasing a refill of your favourite perfume).

∘♡༉∘ it was hard, though. work often called him away, and he didn’t want any of the neighbours reporting a suspicious black truck parked on the street. after much debate, he purchased some cameras, installing them in a few rooms and along the exterior of your house.

∘♡༉∘ being able to check up on his girl helped him sleep when he was away. he had to pay a few extra dollars for it, but now whenever the motion sensors went off at night, he’d get a notification sent to his phone.

∘♡༉∘ he panics when it goes off one night, a while after he’d watched you fall asleep. it woke him up out of his dead sleep, body attuned to the sound of the notification. he was on base, a ways away from you; he couldn’t unlock his phone fast enough.

∘♡༉∘ however, he merely found you, alone in your room, writhing on your bed. he was confused for a long moment — were you hurt? did he need to call someone to check up on you? however, when he clicked the little ‘unmute’ button, and a low buzzing sound cut through his speakers, he came to the realization with a groan. you were getting off.

∘♡༉∘ he knew he should close the app. he knew this was a new level of invading your privacy. he knew he was disgusting . . . but the blood in his brain had already begun it’s descent to his cock, quick enough to make him light headed and a little stupid.

∘♡༉∘ the walls in the barracks were thin. he made sure to keep the volume low as he listened to your quiet moans and breathy whimpers. pressing his face close to the screen, he watched with wide, dilated eyes, cock twitching in his briefs every time you bucked your hips against the vibrator.

∘♡༉∘ simon didn’t quite know how it happened, but somehow he’d ended up on his tummy, cock fucking into his fist while he imagined it was your pretty little cunt. he finished embarrassingly quick, growling against his pillow, waiting just long enough to hear the sounds of your climax.

∘♡༉∘ the hazy, post-climax period was cut short when he heard your voice, quiet and muffled against your palm. it was breathy with the come-down, but his heart lurched in his chest. he had to rewind the video, holding the speaker up to his ear.

∘♡༉∘ sure enough, you’d uttered his name. simon. you were thinking of him.

∘♡༉∘ despite claiming you long ago, something was cemented in simon’s chest at the sound. he couldn’t wait any longer. the moment he returned, you’d be his. no matter what he had to do.

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group H, Round 1, Poll 9:

Propaganda under the cut

Ianthe Tridentarius

She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate

Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.

"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "

She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.

Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top

idk just everything about her

her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.

she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.

Artist:@starcanist

Remy the Rat

Gaslight- 'hmm? Me? Steal papers? I'm just an innocent little ratty rat.' Gatekeep- I would debate he's gatekeeping food and taste from the other rats because they just don't GET it. Ugh! Girlboss- doesn't he own a rat restaurant at the end?

[neil-gaiman]

Hi, Niel. I’ve been a fan of your work for a long time now. I appreciate everything you do, as an artist and as an activist. I’m writing you about a problem I’m having with one of your works. It’s nothing to do with the work itself but my own personal context surrounding it.

My best friend of ten years loved Coraline. It was probably her favorite thing of all the things in the world. She had no idea there was a book, only that she loved the movie. I gave her my childhood copy of Coraline to read and, though she wasn’t much of a reader, she loved it. From there, I encouraged her to read more of your work. As much as she like Sandman or the Graveyard Book, she always came back to Coraline.

Cut to today. My friend of ten years has abandoned me. To make a long, painful story short, she turned her back on me after my mother’s murder, a time when I needed her most. She made sure to tell me that she never loved me, that she never wanted to be my friend all these years, that she did it because she felt sorry for me and that I’ve always been an annoyance and a burden to her.

It was hard to take, to say the least. This leads me to the problem I’m having.

I can’t stand to look at anything related to Coraline anymore. As much as I love it too, it fills me with dread to see it, because all I can think about is how badly I want to share it with my friend. I love giving gifts to the people that are important to me. I would gift my friend every Coraline related item I would see. And now, seeing the dolls, the bags and pins, and of course watching anything from the movie, makes me want to break down all over again.

It’s been almost a year since this happened but my heart still hurts when I see that yellow rain coat. I guess I’m telling you all of this because I want to know if you have any advice. I can never see my old friend again. She’s gone from my life completely but, pieces of her still haunt me.

I want to be able to watch Coraline again without crying. I want to read the book and not feel like I’m this tremendously horrible person that doesn’t deserve anyone’s friendship. I just don’t know how to go about healing that.

Thank you for your time, Niel. I hope that you’re well.

You aren't a horrible person.

I'm sorry that your friend wasn't worthy of your friendship. Friendships that fade and end often hurt worse than romantic heartbreak, because they don't end cleanly, because decades later you still aren't sure why a friendship ended.

I'm sorry about the fallout, too. As you say, the ghosts of the friends we once had still haunt us.

Coraline will always be there, when you need it, when you need her.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

Dannymay 2023. Day 7. Weapon. DPXDC.

The Justice League is trying to figure out Danny’s identity, and he’s not happy about it.

~Words hurt more than weapons~

~~~

Wonder Woman: You’re bound by the Lasso of Truth. No more chance of hiding secrets, ghost.

Danny: Are you kidding me?

Batman: Who are you, Phantom?

Danny: "I am a 400-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings."

Captain Marvel: Wow, you don’t see many Fire Nation princesses these days.

Danny: Hm, at least someone with good taste here.

Danny: Have you even read the Fenton articles? Batman? Anyone? No? Remember. Ghosts will always find a way to lie. Your ribbon has no power over me.

~~~

Danny: ..I have a few words for you too, Batsy. Martha says hi. And she wants you to know that " ..if I see a damn clown in the immediate vicinity of one of my grandchildren or if I find out that you or any of the family are on patrol with broken bones, I’ll spank you as soon as I meet you on the other side. Obey Alfred. With love, Mother."

Flash:..Batman, why are you so pale?

Batman: Someone sprayed the fear toxin. Check the ventilation.

Flash:..

~~~

Superman: Stop it! Listen..

Phantom: I liked you when I was a kid, you know? They say it’s better to never meet your idols. Now I see it's truth.

Superman: You shouldn't be doing this alone. We can help you.

Danny: What makes you think I need your help? Don’t be a hypocrite. Why don’t you take off your glasses at the Daily Planet office? And why do you think that you can tell me what to do with my secret identity?

Danny: Don’t worry, I’m dead but my family is fine. I’m not like you, Big Blue. I will not sacrifice the people I love for my murderous secret.

Superman: What are you talking about?

Phantom: Don’t play dumb. In the land of the dead, people like to talk about the past, you know. You told Jonathan he wasn’t your father, and then you didn’t even try to save him. It’s cruel. But you can be happy, Jonathan doesn’t blame you for his death. I do.

The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees.

Superman: I.. I listened to what he said. He was trying to protect me.

Danny: So, how does it feel? Letting him die in front of you, knowing you could have saved him? Do you blame youself?

Superman: How dare you.

Danny: Of course, you do. Because no matter how many lives Superman saves, the most important one to you..You’ll never got it back. Afraid of being a lab rat? Superman is not special. I am not special too. 

Danny: Don’t look down at me just because you have more experience behind you. Revealing my identity should be my choice, not yours.

~~~~

Danny: Stay out of my grave. *turns to Batman* You should stay away from your son’s grave too. Leave the past behind.

~Hairstyle. Sharp tongue. Physique. This Insolence.~

Batman: Jason?

Danny: Wrong ghost, old man.

Batman: ...You’re the one who said a ghost would always find a way to lie.

Danny: Pride and prejudice! *shit, I’m starting to swear like Mr.Lancer, It’s time to finish my english essay.*  I’m not your Robin. Sorry bout that.

~Jane Austen? No hint more obvious. Jay doesn’t want to deal with the League? Well, Bruce doesn’t mind playing along.~

Batman: I understand.

Danny: Thank Ancients! Anyway, I’m leaving. Don’t look for me.

~~~

Tucker: Wow, Danny, when we told you to take care about the League, we thought you’d do it, like, without turning all of them against you.

Danny: Not all of them. And I didn’t do anything wrong. We talked.

Jazz: Danny, believe me, sometimes a conversation with you can cause more damage to your enemies than your ectoblasts.

Sam: Not just to them. Sometimes I also feel like his ideas are melting my brain.

Danny: Hey! Actually, you should be on my side.

Sam: We should?

Danny: Never mind. But if JL set foot in Amity Park I will sic on Wonder Woman her grandfather.

Tucker: But her Grandfather is Kronos. He’s a creep, trying to eat all his kids. Where do you even know such a monster from?

Clockwork *puts a cup of tea on the table and coughs to attract attention*.

Tucker: Wait a minute...

Tucker: Oh mY GOd, Mr. CLocKWoRk I’m sO SorRy, please don’t kill me.

Sam: Now you’ve changed your mind about importance of a healthy vegan diet, Tucker?

Tucker: ..No, I’m not that desperate.

~~~

~At the same time,somewhere in Ghost Zone~

 Martha *teaches Jason to do a choke hold*.

~~~

~At the same time, in one of Amity Park’s alleys.~

Maddie and Jack *discuss ways to capture the Phantom*

Batman *appears behind them*:DoN’t toUcH my the сHiLd.

~~~

Jazz: Don't you think that mentioning Superman's father was too much?

Danny: Maybe.But..when I think about you, mom or dad in dander I can't imagine what would make me freeze and.. It just doesn't make sense, okey?

Jazz: You're still thinking about Dan, right?

Danny: Every.damn.time.

[heartfullofleeches]

Spill

Immortal Male Yan + G.N Criminal Reader

Summary: You kidnapped him to get some information about a shared friend, but he won't give in so easily

Warnings: Sadomasochism themes, violence, slightly suggestive scene

Good little Silas.

Always keeps every word someone says to him.

It's his job afterall - one no-one else in the entire world could full. You see, Silas knew the secrets of a lot of dangerous people. The type of series others would die, or even kill for. Why would these people trust a scrawny, pathetic looking guy like him? It's simple really. He has a bigger secret than all of them combined.

He couldn't die.

It was really hard to convince his boss of his usefulness at first. His buddies put a bullet through his skull and tossed him into the trash out back before he could demonstrate himself. Didn't even buy him dinner before hand. Assholes. Coming back after having his brains splattered on his soon to be employer's did wonders for his credibility. He was mostly used as a living meat shield early on, but with his resilience to wounds and the pain they may cause his boss become more relaxed around him. He had proven worth plus is anyone ever caught wind of their ties and kidnapped him Silas would never saw a thing. He was the perfect lapdog.

After that he pretty much became an outlet for everyone's tales. From little white lights to infidelity, murder, and every other sin in the book. Sweet Silas would do his to lean an ear and give input when requested. By the end of the year Silas had enough information to get everyone involved arrested, murdered, or whatever else might happen if he let any details slip. He could easily save the lives of innocent people, but he had a bigger prey to catch than the fleeting high of justice.

After all, a good boy might go to the police, and he was no good boy.

-

Silas greedily gulps down tablespoons of water as the glass clacks against his teeth.

"Feeling better?"

"Mhm..."

A backhand soars across his face.

"Good."

Silas' head hangs at an awkward angle from the force, red stained saliva dribbling down his lips. He bite into the lower one to avoid making a sound. Normally he'd hold his captor to the same standards as his friends in regards to filling his stomach with something other than water before smacking him around, but this was no ordinary kidnapper. They were intoxicating, threatening, the exact type of person he'd love to...

Ugh, he's getting carried away again.

Best not to do that while he's still playing an innocent victim, especially in front of his Doll. Just a single week before his employment, Silas fell in love. The culprit of his stolen heart was a crook committing another robbery that night, the two's paths crossed in an alley behind the bank. No questions asked, his future spouse stabbed him directly in his chest before they fled the scene. That boldness almost made them an optional playmate, but that hint of guilt in their eyes swept him off his feet. Researching them only made him fall madder in love. He would do anything to have them.

"I don't want to hurt you. Just tell me code to his safe and I'll let you go.

Facing away, Silas is fully able to roll his eyes. At least threaten his life if he speaks while you're at it.

"Please... I really don't know what you're talking about. I'm just a waiter!" He fights in his restraints and sobs with wide eyes, hoping to sell the act anc draw attention away from his lower body. Pitching a tent right in front of his doll on their first meeting was rather embarrassing. You snarl as you pick up your knife.

"Just tell me what I want to know!"

You're so pretty when you scream. Silas can't wait for his turn to play. He holds it isn't too long so he can take a picture of his wounds and mirror them on you so you'll have matching scars. Sure he'll have to redo his now and then, but the photos you take at your wedding won't know that.

You ghost the blade down along his neck. Silas swallows to feel its point and prevent himself from choking on the blood collecting in his mouth. He wants to act just a little longer - but you're making it so hard teasing him like that. He repeats his scripted moto in his head like a pray as you drag the knife down his chest.

Scream. Cry. Scream. Cry. Ah-

Your eyes grow to the size of dinner plates as the tiny moan sounds within the empty room. It's not a whimper you're used to, but one of pure unadulterated lust. "Did.. you just."

No going back now. So much for that.

"Guess I just can't help it, Dolly. You're too fucking irresponsible. I know you wanna hurt me, but since I love you so much I wanna let you in on a little secret. You can hurt me, but you can't kill me. Break me apart if you don't believe me. I'll be back tomorrow to take what's mine."

You step back as he erupts into a fit of shrill laughter. "That bastard- Always hiring the freaks. I can't believe he ditch me for someone like you."

His laughter stops. That's a secret his boss never shared with him. That old fuck would've been dead long before then if he had.

"Ohh, did he do something to hurt you? That changes everything. I'll give you whatever you want to know down to his house code if you let me have first cut."

"Why would you help me?"

"I already told you, Doll." Silas stands up and drops the cuffs to the ground, dislocated bones bopping back into place as he flexes. "I love ya, and I'm gonna make sure whoever's hurt you pays. Got this job just to help you out anyway. Issue is if you want me to spill the beans without a few dates first you gotta spilling my guts on the floor as my spit spills down your pretty throat."

[robininthelabyrinth]

@thedarkline ask which disappeared:

Can you do one where Huisang is upset about the loss of his best friends? After the cloud recesses and the training camp he looked forward to seeing Wei Wuxian and JC again and now they don’t even like each other and WW is so cold now. Maybe they deserve a forced vacation?

ao3

Nie Mingjue blinked.

“Oh,” he said. “I see. This is a hallucination, and I should go get checked out by the doctors.”

“Rude, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang sniffed. “Also, you should in fact go get checked out by the doctors some more. I’m still worried about you, you got out of bed too quickly after everything. But also: rude!”

“All right, I’ll concede that maybe I didn’t hallucinate and you in fact said what you said,” Nie Mingjue said. “But…why? I thought you liked Wei Wuxian!”

“I do like him! Of course I like him!”

Nie Mingjue threw his hands into the air. “Then why in the world would you want me to bring him to trial?”

“Because he hasn’t done anything wrong,” Nie Huaisang said. “It’s all a bunch of rumor and innuendo, and now Jiang Cheng had to throw him out of the sect and pretend he doesn’t like him – which is ridiculous – and we can’t all hang out the way we used to and it’s awful, da-ge! Just awful!”

“Pretty awful for Wei Wuxian stuck living on the Burial Mounds and Jiang Cheng having to rebuild his sect all by himself, but yes, by all means, let’s focus on how it affects you personally,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “No fun hangouts with your friends. How will you survive?”

Nie Huaisang ignored him.

“My point is,” he said loftily, “if he’s found innocent after a trial, then he can come back. It’s perfect!”

“Huaisang…”

“I’m serious.”

Nie Mingjue rubbed his forehead and, reluctantly, started trying to actually think it through. Nie Huaisang could sometimes be distracted by shiny things, like a shopping trip or a new fan, but sometimes he would demonstrate his heritage by getting his teeth into something and stubbornly refusing to let up on it, ever.

It was nice to see him living up to at least some family traditions.

“Wei Wuxian did murder some Jin sect guards,” he pointed out. “He’s unquestionably guilty of that.”

“First off, no one cares about that,” Nie Huaisang rebutted. “And you know it.”

“They should. The fact that the Jin are soulless bastards isn’t exculpatory.”

“No, but also you’re wrong. The fact is, Wei Wuxian didn’t kill them.”

“What?”

“He didn’t! Wen Ning did.”

“…I’m not sure how it’s better that the Ghost General was involved.”

Nie Huaisang waved his fan at him. “Da-ge, don’t be obtuse! Wen Ning wasn’t the Ghost General at that point – he was just a fierce corpse. No consciousness.”

Nie Mingjue waited for his brother to explain his logic. He assumed there was some, anyway.

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes as if he thought Nie Mingjue was being purposefully slow just to mess with him, which he wasn’t, for once. “Da-ge. Wen Ning was a fierce corpse who had been killed by the Jin sect guards. If he’d resurrected without Wei-xiong’s help, would anyone have said anything?”

“Of course not. A murderer’s victim seeking vengeance for the crime committed against them is a classic case that calls for liberation, provided they haven’t killed anyone else in the process or gotten a taste for killing people such that they would continue doing so afterwards.”

“Exactly.”

“But Wei Wuxian did resurrect him.”

“Naturally he did! He was looking for his friend, he wanted to speak with him; he’s a demonic cultivator. What could be more natural? It’s no different from a Lan playing Inquiry to see if they can find a lost soul. How was Wei Wuxian to know that the Jin sect guards had murdered him, and that Wen Ning would therefore arise as a fierce corpse bent on immediate vengeance?”

Nie Mingjue wanted to laugh, and also possibly to suggest that Nie Huaisang consider picking up a sideline in advocacy, except that he really didn’t actually want a lawyer in the family.

“All right,” he said, suppressing his amusement. “Let’s say I’m following where you’re leading. Then why didn’t Wei Wuxian, demonic cultivator, stop the murder?”

“Da-ge, please,” Nie Huaisang cast him a horrified look. “You’re not suggesting a cultivator can be held responsible for not acting swiftly enough to stop something, are you? Imagine how much of the cultivation world might be at risk if that were the rule!”

“Mm. A good point. Didn’t I hear somewhere that Wei Wuxian had already known that the Jin sect guards had killed Wen Ning…?”

“Surely Wei-xiong would never make such an assumption about the good, upstanding people that a good, upstanding sect like Lanling Jin took on as their own. It must have been a misunderstanding. You know how young heroes are, all bluster and hot air. Are we kicking people out of sects just for that?”

Nie Mingjue’s shoulders were shaking with the effort to keep his laughter inside.

“There, you see! Perfectly logical,” Nie Huaisang concluded, throwing his sleeves up with a flourish. “Obviously the entire sequence of events that led to Jiang Cheng kicking Wei Wuxian out is simply a misunderstanding. Easily resolved!”

“Right. And the Wen sect? They were supposed to be in Jin sect custody.”

“Uh, da-ge, the Jin sect appointed guards that killed some of them, a fact we know for sure because we’ve gotten it based on the testimony of the dead – again, like Inquiry. Are you saying we can’t rely on things like Inquiry? What will the Lan sect say if they hear you suggest such a thing?”

“I’m suggesting that we still need to do something with the Wen sect.”

“Let Jiang Cheng take them and put them to work.” Nie Huaisang shrugged. “He’s got a whole sect to rebuild, hasn’t he? Anyway, they were the ones who were massacred, they should get first call on what to do with them.”

“Firstly, taking them in means that Jiang Cheng has to feed them –”

“The Jin sect can pay for that, if they’re so enthusiastic about helping deal with them.”

“Secondly, why would Jiang Cheng want the kinsman of the people who killed his parents? I thought you liked him?”

“I’m getting him back Wei Wuxian,” Nie Huaisang said. “He’s going to have to deal with the baggage Wei Wuxian picked up along the way on his own. What do I look like, someone who fixes things for people? Please, da-ge. I’m only human. There’s only so much that I’m capable of.”

Nie Mingjue gave in and started laughing.

[thesharktanksdriver]

Sharky incorrect quotes

Y/n, Ghost and soap

Sharky: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Ghost?

Ghost: … No.

Soap: I do!

Sharky: I know, Soap.

Soap: I’m sad!

Sharky: I know, Soap.

Sharky, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Ghost: You did WHAT–

Soap: William Snakepeare

Ghost: I know you snuck out last night, Sharky.

Soap: Play dumb!

Sharky: Who's Sharky?

Soap: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Sharky: What do you think Soap will do for a distraction?

Ghost: he’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Ghost: ... or he could do that.

Sharky: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Ghost: Alright.

Sharky: TraitorSayWhat?

Soap: Excuse me?

Sharky: What?

Ghost:

Sharky:

Sharky: No wait-

Sharky: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Soap: The car takes a screenshot.

Ghost: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Y/n, Price and Gaz

Price, negotiating with kidnapper: We have Sharky. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed

Sharky: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?

Price :

Sharky: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–

Price: SHARKY STOP

Sharky, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.

Price: Okay

Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?

Sharky: Orange soda, please!

Price: I'll have the strawberry soda.

Gaz: Me too, strawberry soda.

Sharky:

Price: While I’m gone, Sharky, you’re in charge.

Sharky: Yes!!!

Price, whispering: Gaz, you’re secretly in charge.

Gaz: Obviously.

Gaz: Why are you on the floor?

Sharky: I'm depressed.

Sharky: Also I was stabbed, can you get Price, please.

Sharky: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Price: If?

Gaz: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

Entire team

Soap: Favorite horror movie?

Price: It

Gaz: Saw

Ghost: Annabelle

Sharky: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Sharky: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Price: ... Your what?

Sharky: My friends.

Gaz: Are they saying “friends”?

Ghost: I think they're being sarcastic.

Soap: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Sharky! All of your friends are in this room.

Sharky: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Sharky: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Price: 'Prettiest Smile'

Gaz: 'Nicest Personality'

Soap: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Ghost: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Sharky: What does 'take out' mean?

Price: Food.

Gaz: Dating

Ghost: Murder

Soap: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Soap: Good morning.

Price: Good morning.

Gaz: Good morning.

Ghost: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Sharky: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

Price: Anyone d-

Sharky: Depressed?

Gaz: Drained?

Ghost: Dumb?

Soap: Disliked?

Price: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

Sharky: I’m an idiot.

Price:

Gaz:

Ghost:

Soap:

Sharky:

Price: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

*Everyone is giving advice to Sharky *

Gaz: It's okay to ask for help.

Soap: You're not a burden.

Ghost: Murder is okay.

Price: Your feelings matter.

[isa-belle1367]

So this is gonna be my AU where all of desmonds ancestors follow desmond around in spirit form (also including other assassins who aren't his ancestors), but this little story is taking place during ac3 when William hit desmond so...ya (this is probably gonna be really bad lmao) also plz do not ship desmond with anyone most of them are related, that's weird

Btw Kass isn't here bc she is still alive, so alexios is here instead

I woke up from the animus, still shocked about what I had heard. Haythem was a Templar.

I always got weird vibes from haythem, but I never thought he would be a Templar.

Over to my left, Altair was sitting on the floor next to Malik, I knew Rebecca and Shaun couldn't see them, not unless they allowed themselves to be seen. Which worked in my favor, I wouldn't even know where to begin to explain this

I wasn't even fully sure what they were or why they were here. At first, I thought it had something to do with them being my ancestors, but with Malik here, I knew that couldn't be the case. Bayek and Aya had also confirmed this.

Altair glanced at me and smiled before going back to his conversation with Malik, which was fine by me because I had more pressing matters to worry about.

"You all saw that, right?" I asked while sitting up.

"Wow," Rebecca looked shocked

"Wow indeed," shaun said, nodding

I glanced to the side, Connor was sitting with his head down. Connor had just started showing up recently, but I already liked him, so it hurt me to see him sad, especially over his father being a Templar.

"The key must be the amulet haythem took from London." I said

Bayek came up behind me. "Your father is behind you."

I nodded, I knew most of my ancestors didn't really like my dad, so they always took it upon themselves to warn me when he was near.

I heard my dad speak up. "We might know what it looks like, but we are no closer to finding it. Desmond, you need to keep going."

I stood, turning to my dad. Next to him, Altair and Malik were now up, glaring daggers at him. Well, everyone was except for Rebecca and Shaun, but Altair and Malik looked ready to gut him.

I could feel their rage, everyone's rage. I guess it comes with having ghosts tied to your soul. You get to feel their emotions.

"Hey, he's your ancestor too. Why don't you hop in the animus?" Normally, I wouldn't have said anything, but it was really hard not too when I felt the anger of 9 people flowing through me.

"Really? That's your response? It's like dealing with a 6-year-old." He stated rolling his eyes

If I thought Altair looked angry before now, he looked furious, but Altair wasn't who I was focused on. It was Connor. Out of everyone, his rage was the strongest. I glanced over and saw Edward next to Connor. At least Edward is there to keep him somewhat calm.

"What is wrong with you, desmond?" William asked, walking around the animus to get closer to me.

I walked over to him, and I could feel my emotions boiling over.

"You wanna know what's wrong? I'm sick of being treated like I'm not even here! Desmond, do this. Desmond do that. Desmond, you better figure things out, or the sun will kill us all.

And I know I was really nice to you, but I'm actually just another Templar plot twist. And yes, I would very much like for you to be controlled by a magic space wizard so that you can murder me. So there's your answer. I'm sick of being your pawn. I thought you might be different, but it turns out you're no better then the fucking Templars."

But before I could even really register what I said and apologize, pain shot through my face. I stumbled back, shocked, and then I was blinded by a bright flash.

I blinked, realizing what I had just said. I knew that those weren't my words coming from my mouth. Well, maybe a few words were mine.

Once the light dimmed, I looked over to see my dad flying to a wall, with Altair and ezio already running towards him with murder in their eyes.

I cursed, sprinting after them

"Altair, Ezio! Stop!" I called out

Luckily, my dad wasn't too far, and I was able to get to him quickly, but the bad news was that Altair and ezio were quicker and already had their weapons drawn. Along with bayek, Jacob, and evie.

"Altair, don't hurt him, you too, Ezio. Bayek, if you shoot my dad, I'm confiscating your bow and Jacob if you throw that bomb. I swear." I called out, just trying to get these fully trained assassins to take a breath and NOT kill my dad.

Altair and ezio frowned at me, clearly disappointed, bayek lowered his bow, and Jacob whispered something to evie.

"Jacob, if you're planning something, stop it."

I sighed, I loved these guys, but they can really be a handful sometimes.

"What they hell was that?" My dad questioned while rubbing his head.

Oh, right, I forgot that to him. He just randomly got blasted across the room, then saw me yelling at seemingly nothing.

I was about to say something, but Alexios was standing behind my dad holding a sword, looking like he was about to spear my dad

I groaned and held my hand out. Alexios rolled his eyes before handing me the sword. It materialized in my hand, I set it over to the side where he couldn't get it before turning back to my dad.

I rubbed my eyes. How the hell was I going to explain this.

Before I could figure out what I was going to say, Malik appeared next to me, but now he didn't appear as transparent. He was still transparent, but you could only tell if you looked long enough. I knew my dad could see him now, too.

He grabbed my face, examining it. "Your nose is bleeding, though it doesn't appear to be broken."

I glanced at my dad, the poor man looked horrified.

I turned to him, pulling away from Malik. I offered a hand to him.

"Why don't you go have Shaun and Rebecca make sure you're not hurt, I'll explain everything in a second."

Malik grabbed my arm, raising an eyebrow. He gave me a look that said, "Are you sure about this."

I nodded, and he let go of my arm. "You're too kind for your own good." He stated in Arabic

After helping my dad up and making sure he could still walk, I turned to Altair and ezio.

"Really? he punched me, and you threw him into a stone wall!" I said exasperated.

Malik handed me a tissue, "Your nose is still bleeding."

"Not the point." I said while I dabbed at my nose with the tissue

I noticed Shaun, Rebecca, and William starting at me. "You know there is no point in keeping yourselves hidden now." I announced to my ancestors.

Jacob grinned, making himself visible along with evie. Bayek and Aya followed, then connor and Edward, and soon everyone was visible.

I glanced back over at shaun and Rebecca, and now they looked scared but also extremely confused. I sighed, I should probably explain everything to them before scolding Altair for throwing my dad.

I began to walk over to them, but bayek appeared next beside me, grabbing my shoulder

"Are you sure you don't want us to....handle your father." Bayek asked in Egyptian.

"No, you are not going to harm my dad mentally, emotionally, or physically." I responded in Egyptian. I didn't think my dad needed to hear that a bunch of skilled assassins wanted him dead.

I walked over to William and the others, ezio and Connor, following closely. I smiled. ezio had been kinda protective over me since he first came here, and while I hadn't gone through connors memories yet, I had a pretty good idea why he was weary of my dad.

"So I guess I should explain."

sorry if this is bad. This is very rushed, but I have had this idea in my head for about a week

Btw in case I didn't name everyone, the assassins following desmond are Altair, Malik, ezio, Aya, bayek, evie, Jacob, Connor, and Edward, (haythem shows up sometimes with shay)

[jedi-enthusiast]

hi there!! 👋 all of your WIPs sound amazing, but I’ve got such a soft spot for murder mysteries!! I would love to hear more about its premise!!! 😊🫶✨ Thanks so much and happy writings to youu!!!

Ask About My Fics Game

Hello <3

Ok, so basically 'A Lesson in Murder Mystery' is a codywan Cody-centric fic where Cody Fett---the new engineering professor---starts working at a new university.

While he's moving his stuff into his new office, he accidentally runs into Obi-Wan Kenobi---the English professor that's everyone's favorite and has been practically working there forever. He spills coffee all over Obi-Wan's shirt, the two talk for a bit, Cody quickly catches feelings and offers to take him out for lunch over the weekend to make up for it, and Obi-Wan says it's a date.

All is well until one day Cody overhears Wolffe, who's a mechanic, talking about how "Ahsoka's brother" was a complete ass to him while he was fixing his motorcycle.

As far as Cody knows, Obi-Wan is Ahsoka's only brother.

You can see where this is going.

Cody decides that he doesn't want to date anyone who's rude to people who are just trying to do their jobs, cancels the date, ghosts Obi-Wan, and then proceeds to avoid him like the plague.

At least, until Cody finds out that Ahsoka actually has two brothers and Wolffe was definitely not talking about Obi-Wan.

Cody apologizes, explains, and then asks Obi-Wan out on another date---which Obi-Wan happily accepts. The two go, have a good time, and then head back to Obi-Wan's apartment...only for someone to then try to kill Obi-Wan.

From there the two of them work together to find out who is orchestrating the deaths of all of these professors, why they're doing so, and what connection did Qui-Gon---Obi-Wan's father---have to all of this.

----------

It's your generic murder mystery fic, but I'm really excited to write it! I've already got it outlined, but I'm holding off on writing anything new until I get farther into The Great War.

[ghostlythunderbird]

As a Spouse and a Parent~ Task Force 141 

Pairings: Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Kyle Garrick, John Price X Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Pregnancy, Prior Abuse, some NSFW is referenced

Word Count: 2,269

Author Notes: Is this feeding into a deep longing of mine? Why yes, yes it is. I'm sorry if this is poorly written I was writing this at 3am

Simon “Ghost” Riley

As a Spouse

Simon actually didn’t want to get married in the beginning, because if you wanted to get married it would only put a potential target on not just you but anyone you're close to. But I can assure you he wanted nothing more than to put a ring on your finger, and as a testament to that you should have heard how picky he was with your ring. Soap was definitely losing his mind while trying to help Simon out

After the initial hesitation in the first year of your marriage not much had changed between you and Simon, but your relationship continued to grow as Simon became more upfront with nothing that seemed to really bother him. Of course keeping everything related to his job confidential.

He became more doting on you, constantly craving for your attention whenever he’s at home. It was honestly comical that this large man seemed to melt into a puddle at the slightest touch from you, practically purring for you when you rake your hands through his hair when you cuddle in those late mornings. Even after this he will ask you not to share how he truly acts at home with any of his teammates, there often was the threat of not getting any more breakfasts in bed from him.

Oh and when I tell you this man can cook, I mean he can COOK. Like this man can cook full course meals but the only time you have to interfere is because he doesn't use seasoning very much. Secretly he enjoys these small moments with you, just spending quality time whenever he can is what helps him realize that getting married was the best decision.

As a Parent

When you told him you were pregnant for the first time he had a whole mental meltdown that ended up with him leaving to take a walk around your neighborhood. Now it wasn’t because he was angry, if anything he was terrified.

This is a man who has faced horrid abuse at the hands of his father, had his Brother, mother, sister in law, and his nephew murdered because of his job, had so many near death experiences, and killed men without a second thought. How could someone like him raise a child properly, much less raise one that wouldn’t hate him for who he was.

After returning and talking his fears out, you both soon started to prepare the arrival of your child. And lets be real he is fascinated with each step of your pregnancy, His favorite part was feeling his child react to his touch each time. Just to add this in because I just have a feeling this might happen, this man would definitely end up having at least 5 kids because he falls in love all over again with each one. Not only that but he wants to prove that he is a better dad than his own could have ever been.

Simon loves all his kids and will spend each moment he can with them, going to dance recitals, practice, helping with homework, putting them all to bed. Does he become a tired dad after 5 kids? Well of course he would but does he regret it, Never.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

As a Spouse

Oh my gosh, now this man right here is one of the Sweetest Hubbies out there. You talk about remodeling the kitchen? Well here is your new kitchen after a month. Craving a certain food, he’s either buying it or attempting to make it.

From the first point when I mean attempting I really mean “Attempting” because this man cannot cook to save his life. And before you try to say he can, he can cook a few things but hardly anything is seasoned because the military has ruined his sense of taste. While he can’t outright cook more than simple meals like grilled cheese sandwiches it doesn't mean he can't help chop up ingredients or be your taste tester. His favorite thing to do is help you bake and you know this man will be licking the spoon and the bowl, he ended up stealing it once and locked himself in the bathroom so you couldn't stop him.

When he's home you can guarantee you're gonna be cuddled to death by him, he hardly ever lets you leave and if you're gone for more than five minutes he's going to look for you and become a human koala. Johnny I feel like is a very affectionate lover and will do anything to find a compromise if you two can't agree on something. He never makes big decisions without you as in his eyes being married means you have to work together not against each other.

As a Parent

Ok let's be real here out over everyone in the task force Johnny has the BIGGEST Breeding kink out there, and like most men he isn't much of a fan of condoms simply because it takes out the intimacy. He has a true addiction to cumming inside you so it's no surprise you end up becoming pregnant.

When you tell him you're pregnant he would let out the biggest yell and then tackle you into a bear hug while crying from pure joy. After finding this out he immediately called and told both of your families. He's very invested with both yours and the baby's development over time. His favorite thing to do is to fall asleep on your lap with his head near your bump no matter how big or small it is while running his hand over it.

While he does get prepared once you start reaching the end of your pregnancy it doesn't stop the military one bit. After hearing he would end up deploying towards the end he was devastated, while he understands you cant stop when you're called back to base he wanted nothing more to stay home and would even risk going AWOL.

He would constantly facetime you everyday when he's gone, and while he wasn't physically there for the birth of your child he did encourage you from the phone while being hundreds of miles from home. And when he was finally able to finally come home? He gathered you both up in his arms and refused to let go.

But as your child grows up I can definitely say Johnny is the most supportive and fun dad out there. He wants nothing more than to see his kid grow up to be a respectful and easy person who still takes time to appreciate the little things and know when to have a little fun.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

As a Spouse

This man I feel like can be often overlooked so here we're gonna give him a whole bunch of lovins here. Gaz is more of a selfless lover by heart, so be prepared to be showered in love and attention 24/7. Trying to read a book? Well now you're both reading a book because he wants to constantly be in your presence.

While Kyle is home he would definitely want to go on walks and hikes with you just so you're both exploring together. That being said he tries to plan yearly vacations for you both wherever you both decide to visit. Like Simon, Kyle wants to spend as much time with you as he can while he's home. The awful part about his job is to think that there might be a last time he would ever see you, so he wants to take advantage of every second.

Kyle loves to talk about your future together, wondering about your lives of what could happen or what could have been. His favorite part though is to talk about settling down somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the big cities in the UK. Having a little house in a village far out into the countryside where the both of you can live in peace.

Maybe there are often times where he thinks that your dreams of living out your lives together may never become a reality when coming back after a rather rough mission. You will have to talk him out of those thoughts just to remind him that even on the roughest days you'll always be by his side even when he can't see you.

As a Parent

This man is NOT prepared to hear that you're pregnant. Wanna know what he does when you wait until he comes home to tell him? This man straight up faints from the overwhelming news. After hearing you freaking out after coming to he just wraps you up as you're both on the floor and just says “This wasn't in our road map, love” as a joke.

It does take him off guard to understand that he's not only fighting the darkness just to protect you but for his child now. And to say that it keeps driving him forward to survive every mission more than ever before is a vast understatement.

Kyle ends up asking you one day after being home for a week on how many you both feel comfortable with having, you both decide on having two. Over time his excitement continued to grow the bigger your child got and when I tell you this man keeps buying toys and baby clothes I'm not joking. He's a hoarder of baby stuff now

When your little one is finally born this man has constant tears that the nurses even joked that your husband cried more than you while in labor. He's mesmerized by this child, that while you fall asleep he begins to pledge his life for the newborn in his arms. Gaz as a dad is one of the sweetest things in the world, always wanting to be involved in his children's lives and to spend every minute with them.

John Price

As a Spouse

This man is by far the biggest romantic out there without a doubt, always wanting to surprise you when you least expect him to be home. His favorite memory was when he came in with you eating ice cream on the couch and he grabbed you from behind, he didn't regret having to clean the couch afterwards.

You better expect he's gonna take you out whenever he gets home too, like this man WANTS to show you off no matter where you go. You both go out to a fancy restaurant you're getting shown off, at a taco truck just down from your shared home. Well guess what you're still getting shown off even if you're dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Don’t blame this man for any of it because he's just so in love with you he can't help himself. But if he had to choose between staying at home or going out without a doubt he would choose to stay in with you and just enjoy the limited time he has. While yes sometimes he has to bring home paperwork he still finds a way such as having you curled up in his lap over his tights and having a blanket draped over the both of you.

That being said there have been times you've both fallen asleep in the chair and you both totally have NEVER tipped the chair back. It definitely became an inside joke between the both of you but it's something you both never mention to anyone else.

As a Parent

You and John have talked about what you might do if you ever decided to have kids, but you've both tried to be as safe during your “Adult” time but it seems that life said otherwise. While you had no reason to be upset or nervous about telling John you couldn't help the nagging feeling of anxiety. You don't tell him right away, but you rather plan it around one of your nightly walks.

At first he thought you were messing with him and doing one of your pranks again, but after seeing your serious face he was speechless. After the initial shock he pulls you in and kisses you, he lets out a laugh after pulling back before resting his hand over your stomach. John tries to be around as much as he can for the majority of your pregnancy, but life as an officer is a very demanding one.

While he's gone on deployments he tries to stay in contact as much as he can, and if he doesn't have service he keeps a picture of you and a sonogram picture of his little one tucked away in his tactical vest. The only person he shows and talks about his new child with is Simon, because this man is dealing with 5 kids even after saying he's too old for this life.

You end up giving birth right before John was getting ready to land, and let's just say this man threatened a lot of people just so he could get to the hospital as soon as possible. John overall as a parent would definitely be doting but he knows when he needs to put his foot down, even if it does end up drawing tears. He’s one of those dads too that definitely lets his kids do whatever to him, especially if he has a daughter.

[vhstown]

CAN SPIDERS SCREAM?

POV: 1610!MILES 🗡️ [halloween one shot]

summary: What's your favourite scary movie?

word count: 2.4k

content/warnings: depictions of murder, blood and stabbing

a/n: unedited :/ tew busy and i have never written fic that isn't x reader so! that's all erm have fun?

“Oi, Miles — wake up, mate.”

With slight surprise, Miles opened his eyes to see the dimly lit living room. Freeing himself from the confines of his friend’s shoulders, he blinked a few times to make out a rather bemused-looking Hobie. The punk’s eyes left his a moment later, and Miles was soon bombarded with the troubles of a movie night with people who had never had Netflix before.

“Give me the remote back, I just wanna—”

“We are not watching Ghostbusters again, Pav!” Hobie let out a slight laugh as a stream of web, and then a remote control, flew past him — right into Gwen’s hand.

“Ghostbusters is a perfectly fitting title for the occasion!” Pavitr protested, Hobie narrowly dodging the hand that flew up in frustration.

“He’s got a point — that Murray lad is scary lookin’,” Hobie chimed in. Gwen narrowed her eyes at him, as if to say “thanks a lot, Hobie”, before turning to Miles.

“You know what? Maybe Miles should pick. He’s been asleep all night anyway.”

“Hey! Not my fault my ma’ made me clean the whole house ‘fore you guys got here!”

Miles’ eyes felt like closing again at the memory; who knew using your webs to help with chores would need so much clean up afterwards? Not one of his brightest ideas, since he was all out of webs now. Though he would’ve been out of a home if his mom saw the kitchen covered in them.

“Where are your parents anyway? Perhaps on a romantic outing?” Miles rolled his eyes, like it’d do anything to subdue Pavitr’s less-than subtle expression.

“On Halloween night? Your lot must love a thrill, mate.” Also a lot less-than subtle — thanks a lot, Hobie.

Cheeks prickling with warmth, he snatched the remote from Gwen’s hand, frowning at the TV screen. Halloween movie…

“Well, if he’s anything like Rio and Jeff, he should be able to pick a movie.” Gwen crossed her legs, and everyone else shuffled back on the tiny couch.

“Thanks,” he mumbled through gritted teeth. Gwen’s knee, Hobie’s elbow, and Pavitr’s stare prodding him at either side, Miles sifted through the different shows and movies.

“How about Annabe—”

“Nope nope nope…!” As the preview came up, Pavitr shielded his eyes. “Anything besides dolls.”

“At least it’s better than Ghostbusters,” Gwen muttered under her breath as Pavitr peeked through his fingers.

“Oi, Gwendy, cheer up, yeah?” Miles ducked his head as Hobie reached over to slap Gwen on the shoulder. “She looks just like you!”

“Hobie!” was shouted from both ends of the couch.

Miles smiled, and grimaced. At least the two of them could agree that Hobie wasn’t any good when it came to movie nights.

Looking through the movies, none of them really interested Miles, or his friends. Each one would be met with an excited “wait!”, and then a disappointed groan, or another heckle from Hobie (it was one way to decide not to watch the movie.)

“Dude, Halloween’s almost over. Let’s just watch Ghost—”

“Just gimme a sec…” At this point, Miles had given up on listening to anyone, clicking through titles after a glance. It wasn’t like it was helping, though.

“Pick your favourite, or something,” Gwen suggested with just as little enthusiasm.

“Well it’s not Ghostbusters…” he mumbled to nobody in particular.

“Hey, not you too, Miles!”

Scream 2 appeared for probably the 5th time on screen. It’d have to do, he supposed.

“You guys seen Scream?” His tone didn't have enough energy to sound like a question.

“Well Hobie hasn’t, because he lives in the stone age,” Gwen started. “And he looks like Ghostface.”

“Don’t need ol’ Ghosty when we’ve got murderers in government.”

“Dude.” All Miles got was a shrug from Hobie, and then a sigh from Gwen. Crossing her arms, she fell back on the sofa with a creak.

“What? Fed up already?” Hobie questioned, brow raising by a twitch.

“It’s been like, 4 hours and all we’ve been watching is Ghostbusters. We ran out of popcorn ages ago.”

“You guys finished the—” Miles stood up, looking into the bowl. All that was in it was his reflection, staring back at him with disappointment. “Damn…”

“That was all Gwendy — swear on my life.” Hobie declared half a moment of silence later.

“Was not!”

“Okay, okay! Fine! Let’s just watch Scream.”

Miles turned on the movie, chucking the remote on the spot he was sat in. The introductory sequence started, and the room went dark with the screen.

“I’m gettin’ more popcorn — caramel popcorn." That got a groan out of everyone.

“If y’all use your webs…!”

He didn’t finish his threat as he walked into the kitchen — his mom could probably do that for him anyway.

The kitchen door swung open, shutting on its own weight. Miles held his wrist out to the cabinet, but all that came out was a click — out of webs. Right, of course.

A crackling bag of “Crunch ‘n Munch” caramel popcorn on the stove, Miles leaned his arms on the counter, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. He’d been feeling groggy since he’d woken up, but the dreary tiredness was still lingering. Maybe sitting out here with microwaveable kernels popping on the stove would help. Stretching and letting out a groan, the cheap decorations on the windows caught his attention. He could guess that people were starting to head back from trick-or-treating. It was late, after all. Miles had grown out of it, at least for this year. Going out with his friends who technically weren’t meant to be here wasn’t exactly a good idea, though. Besides, being Spider-Man for Halloween again wasn’t really doing it for him.

Both of his parents were at work, but it didn't bother him too much. They were always busy, and so was he. All of them were keeping Brooklyn safe in their own ways, he supposed. And having the house to himself wasn't so bad.

Faint murmuring — excited, or panicked — could be heard from the living room. Miles laughed through his nose, the crackling of the popcorn getting louder as he haphazardly reached out to flip the bag. That was, until, a searing, high-pitched noise rang out.

Miles almost jumped, before realising that it was coming from the phone: the old-fashioned cordless phone his mom kept for emergencies, or, for making sure he was “actually at home like you said you’d be, because if you and your friends are out somewhere I don’t know about then—”

Better safe than sorry, he thought, picking it up without any thought but an exhale.

Click!

“Hello?”

The faint whirr of static could be heard on the other side; it was dull among the pop of the kernels and giddy buzz from the living room.

“Hello, Morales.” Okay, definitely not his mom.

“Uh, who is this?”

“Take a guess.” Miles took the phone away from his ear, frowning at the screen. These types of phones didn’t seem to give any useful information.

“Ganke? That you?” he humoured.

“Try again. Two more guesses.” His half-smile immediately dropped.

“Okay, nope. This is weird.”

Declining the call, Miles put it back on its stand, rolling his shoulders in discomfort. It was probably just a prank — kind of creepy nonetheless.

Krrrrr….! Miles’ attention quickly turned back to his popcorn, registering the smell of burning. Damn it…

Wooden spoon in hand, he turned off the stove, biting his lip as he assessed the damage. A second barrier of defence against his friends, at least. Come on man, you gotta wake up—

RIIING RIIING! Miles cursed under his breath, and then winced in guilt.

RIIING RIIING! Again? Well, it could be his mom.

RIIING RIII—

“Hello?”

“Why’d you hang up? Don’t you want to play a game?”

“Okay dude seriously? Couldn't you be at least a little original? I don’t have time for this, I literally just burnt my popcorn!”

Miles didn’t know why he was suddenly ranting to a stranger on the phone, but maybe it’d get them to break character, or something. It must be some kids behind the stupid crackly voice — or maybe it was his dad. He tried to stifle a laugh at the thought of his dad trying not to laugh and his tightened expression, even though nobody would hear. Well, whoever this was might.

“You’re making popcorn?”

“Uh-huh. Was gonna watch a movie, actually. And relax — you know, without weird phone calls at midnight.”

“How about this? I ask you a different question this time.”

“Yeah? What is it?” Miles let out a sigh, hands on his hips as the burning died out in the pan.

“What’s your favourite scary movie?”

“Not even a little improv..." he mumbled under his breath. Might as well stick to the script. “Uh, I dunno. Scream?”

“Scream? That one where the murderer wears a mask and goes around killing people?”

“Yeah, and where the murderer makes dumbass phone calls to their victims beforehand.”

“But that’s your favourite?”

“No..."

There was a pause on the end of the phone, before the modulated voice replied.

“You know... me neither.”

Bzzzt!

“Hey, what the…?!” Miles looked around him, but couldn’t make out anything. The power was out. “You can’t be serious…”

“Scream’s too old-school, don’t you think?”

There were equally confused reactions from the living room, and the voices of his friends got louder as he stepped into the hallway, phone in hand.

“Guys?” he called out, cordless phone by his hip and his own phone flash pointing into the hallway.

“They won’t hear you,” the voice from the phone said. Miles stopped, turning his phone and seeing something catch the light. "When you scream."

Moving, it shot towards him, his web-shooter sputtering empty air at the knife that surged past mere inches away from his face. No webs.

“Guys?!”

Miles pointed the flash up, only to see what looked like a Halloween mask that was melting: Ghostface. He would’ve laughed; it was crude at best. But right now, it was terrifying.

He booked it for the living room, pushing against the door only for it to push back against him. Locked — the panic surged in his chest, but his Spider-sense hadn’t gone off.

Thunk! Knife in wood — right where his face was a millisecond ago. His cheek stung only for a moment before he grabbed the knife out of the door, holding it to the darkness.

His mouth opened, and then closed. Should he call for his friends? Would it put him in more danger? Why couldn't he... Where did the masked person go—

A short breath came out of his throat, strangled. And then hot searing metal, right through his stomach. Why couldn't...

No, the metal wasn’t cold — it was the blood. The pain only seared for a moment, when the knife was pulled out. Miles’ hands went to the growing patch of darkness near his abdomen, bile in his throat and eyes wide, stinging from the dry air.

It was suddenly cold, and his mind was blank. Something that sounded like wind — a laugh, emerged from behind him.

He didn’t feel the second stab.

“Oi, Miles — wake up, mate.”

With slight surprise, Miles opened his eyes to see the dimly lit living room. Freeing himself from the confines of his friend’s shoulders, he blinked a few times to make out a rather bemused-looking Hobie. The punk’s eyes left his a moment later, and Miles was soon bombarded with the troubles of a movie night with people who had never had Netflix before.

“Give me the remote back, I just wanna—”

“We are not watching Ghostbusters again, Pav!” Hobie let out a slight laugh as a stream of web, and then a remote control, flew past him — right into Gwen’s hand.

“Ghostbusters is a perfectly fitting title for the occasion!” Pavitr protested, Hobie narrowly dodging the hand that flew up in frustration.

“He’s got a point — that Murray lad is scary lookin’,” Hobie chimed in. Gwen narrowed her eyes at him, as if to say “thanks a lot, Hobie”, before turning to Miles.

“You know what? Maybe Miles should pick. He’s been asleep all night anyway.”

“Huh?”

“We were doing fine!”

“No we weren’t, Pav — I was about to fall asleep.”

“Like Hobie said, Murray is a good representation of the horror genre!”

“And not the literal ghosts?”

“The ghosts too!”

“Hey.” Miles flinched a little at how close the voice was. “You alright? You look a bit pale, mate.”

The three of them went silent, attention turning to him. Hobie’s expression was laced with concern. Miles just nodded, though he wasn’t looking at anyone. He was fine, right? That was…

“Yeah, yeah — I’m cool. I just…” That wasn't real. He was fine. “Tired. Ma’ made me clean… and stuff.”

“Where are your parents anyway? Perhaps on a romantic outing?” He glanced at Pavitr, but it didn’t do anything to subdue Pavitr’s less-than subtle expression.

“On Halloween night? Your lot must love a thrill, mate.” Also less-than subtle. If it weren’t for the fog clouding his head, he would’ve been annoyed.

“Just watch… Anabelle, or something.” The sofa creaked as he pushed off of it. He winced at the feeling of his abdomen reeling in on itself. “I’m gonna get some—”

Two eyes met his: the reflection in the popcorn bowl. It was empty. Figures...

“That was all Gwendy, swear on my life.”

“Was not!”

“Oh, Miles is mad guys.”

“Hey, don’t look at me.”

It wasn't real.

“It was literally Hobie!”

Just a dream — of course.

“Miles…? Where are you goi—” Pavitr’s voice faded as the kitchen door swung shut behind him.

“Just need to call my mom,” he muttered to himself, grabbing the phone off the stand.

“Mira — I’m going to call this phone, okay? You need to call back from the call log. I'm showing you once.”

“Like—” This…

The call log appeared on screen.

Incoming:

31 OCT. 11:42PM Accepted

31 OCT. 11:40PM Accepted

31 OCT. 4:21PM Missed

Only the last one was his mom. Miles clicked out of the call log, met with the tiny blue home screen. It read: TUE 31 OCT.

The time right now was 11:39PM.

RIIING RIIING!

RIIING RIIING!

RIIING RIIING!…

His friends were in the other room, still arguing about what to watch.

“…Anything besides dolls...”

“…It’s better than Ghostbusters…”

“…She looks just like you!…”

"...Hobie!..."

…RIIING RIIING!…

With half an inhale, Miles picked up the old-fashioned cordless phone, thumb over the green button. It was the phone he’d answered before, and for some reason, minutes into the future.

The phone he’d answer many, many more times to come.

thanx 4 reading! thats it okay cya i havent slept more than 6 hours in a hot minute goodnight x_x oh n tagging @phoenixinthefiles :P

find my masterlist here !