#i don’t think there’s anymore characters that line up w flags but if there is just know

[sniffermynose]

ocean queen lizzie is bigender

[todoscript]

monopolize

SUMMARY: Having realized Bakugou and Midoriya’s infatuation with you, Shouto decides to make a firm point at showing that you’re his and his alone.

pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader (feat. bakugou katsuki & midoriya izuku)

genre: smut. slight angst. pro hero au.

word count: 8.0k+

warnings: 18+. characters are aged up. dominant!shouto. possessive!shouto. (!!!)coercion. exhibitionism. bondage (kinda). slight degradation. praising. squirting. humiliation (bakugou & midoriya receiving).

author’s note: so the idea for this fic came to me one day while i was studying chemistry and it kinda got out of hand the moment i started writing it...haha, oops... but anyway, shoutout to rosie ( @shoutogepi​ ) for listening to me ramble about this and encouraging me to write this shit, love you lots babe! <333 also a reminder to please look over the warnings before proceeding, thank you!!!

If your open jaw is not enough to emphasize your shock, then the bag that hits the floor after escaping your grasp does that job for you. It also alerts the three existing presences in the room of your arrival, to which all eyes maneuver to the door of your shared bedroom, witnessing your appalled state at what is lying in wake.

Lounging on the futon, Shouto breaks your awed silence. “Welcome home, love,” he greets, warmly as per usual whenever he arrives home from work before you do.

You’re utterly surprised by how indifferent he sounds despite the two additional faces in the room. After all, it’s not every day you’d ever expect the Pro Number One and Two heroes to be here in your very bedroom, bound by what you have to assume is your boyfriend’s ice.

Unsure how to go about your reply, you instead opt to slowly walk into the room, assessing the situation. Your wary gaze darts between the angry red eyes of Bakugou Katsuki and the strained green ones of Midoriya Izuku. “I... U-Um… Shouto? What is all of this? What are Midoriya and Bakugou doing here?” You finally manage to address the elephant in the room, yet Shouto does not tackle your questions with as much haste as you are hoping.

He gets up from the bed to meet you in the middle, gathering you in his arms before his lips find your temple—the kiss he presses soft and tender, but the fact that there are two other pairs of eyes glancing over at you from such a compromising position warms your cheeks buried in his chest.

You don’t catch how Bakugou practically wrenches at the sight while Midoriya turns away, abashed. There’s hurt discerned in their expressions that can only be akin to pure jealousy. But you don’t know that. Well, not yet anyway.

“Let me explain, love,” Shouto starts, his voice a meager space away from your ear that he tucks a hair behind, “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not, but are you aware that these two both—”

“That’s it! I don’t have to stay here and listen to this crap!” Bakugou’s loud voice bursts out, cutting the rest of Shouto’s words short just before they fall to your ear. Watching as a fever of energy begins emitting from Bakugou’s palms trapped in the ice, the dual-haired hero quickly acts by erecting another glacier to impede the blonde’s abilities, effectively keeping him trapped there. Bakugou can only grit his teeth as he remains bound. Meanwhile, you gape at the lengths Shouto goes to prevent these two renowned heroes from leaving this space.

The chill that diffuses throughout the atmosphere of the room pairs fittingly with the frigid stare Shouto points at your guests. Ensuring the cold doesn’t affect you, he regulates your temperatures with his fire side while your body is still pressed against him before continuing. “As I was saying, these two men in front of you both harbor the same feelings for you as I do,” Shouto says. You slightly turn to meet his heterochromatic gaze with confusion written on your face, unsure what his words exactly imply.

Reading this, Shouto’s hand at your waist travels to your nape. “I’m sure you must have realized it by now, love... The way their touches linger on you for far longer than necessary whenever you meet them...” His calloused hand rubs at the back of your neck, the other traveling up your chest that yields a strained noise from your mouth.

“Or how they flirt with you whenever you visit my agency while they’re there, thinking I don’t notice. Telling you how good you look or how pretty you are.” His words meld into your skin as his lips meet below your jawline, the sensation of his nibbles manifesting your noises into frail moans that lights blushes in your spectators’ cheeks. All attempts at disregarding those cases as friendly compliments are hindered when your attention is captured by Shouto’s wandering hands and hypnotizing voice.

“Though I wholeheartedly agree with every statement, I think it’s only right of me—your boyfriend—to be a little concerned when they’re always giving you those looks.”

You bite your lip in hopes of suppressing the next noise that threatens to spill from your mouth before curiosity overtakes you. “What looks?” you pry yet not entirely ready for the answer. Shouto breaths in closely next to your ear, voice guttural and full of weight.

“Like they want to fuck you.”

His claims have your eyes blown out wide, timbre compelling goosebumps across your skin at something so vulgar departing his mouth. You try to muster out a comprehensible thought for the sake of the two heroes, but the words are drawn back in your throat. Shouto catches your guarded look.

“Now, don’t go saying they’re just being friendly with you, baby. I mean look at them. Are those the faces of two men who just want to be friends with you?”

The air has suddenly grown tense, the tension so taut it could be cut with a butter knife. Hesitantly, you shift to meet Bakugou and Midoriya’s eyes to gauge a response from them. To your surprise, all you can perceive are the sheer expressions of shame painted on their faces—red smearing their cheeks with humiliation as they can’t help but glance at anywhere else but you.

“Well?” Shouto chimes in after you’ve fully grasped the reality of the situation.

Peering into his icy heterochromatic eyes, you gulp. You know you have no right to be lying to his face, no matter how much you insist it isn’t so.

“N-No,” you admit.

A grin curves on his lips before he kisses your cheek.

“Mm, smart girl.”

Despite you waving your white flag, Shouto doesn’t stop his touches from wandering your body. He palms at sensitive areas that leave you burning. Those whimpers you’ve desperately tried to conceal unfetter from your lips when his hands inch upon skin hidden beneath your clothing. His touches are firm with a mixture of warmth and coolness that has you holding your breath. The sensations cloud your thoughts, making you forget where you are as the other presences in the room now in the back of your mind.

Midoriya and Bakugou can’t bring themselves to look anymore—can’t bear to gaze at such intimacy they can never hope to attain. Especially when your cute noises leave a twitch in their pants, a feeling they fail to cast off in shame.

“Todoroki... you made your point, now please let us out of this ice,” Midoriya says through his dry lips. Though the verdant-haired hero knows he could free himself on his own with his strength, if Shouto has anything to say about it, he’d just conjure another pillar of ice as quickly as a snap of a finger to replace the shattered ones. Considering that’s what he’s done to keep the two of them from leaving thus far.

“You can’t be fucking serious about leaving us here, Icy-Hot,” Bakugou adds with far more hostility in his tone as he shoots a glare at the red and white-haired man.

The reminder that the top two Pro Heroes are still present in the same room as you while Shouto trails his large hands at every expanse of bare flesh he can find delivers a jolt of embarrassment throughout your body. Embarrassment that somehow kindles a lick of heat in your abdomen.

“On the contrary, this is only part one of what I have in store for you two tonight,” Shouto says, lips playing on the fine line of a smirk. “In fact, I plan on ingraining in your very minds that my love belongs to me and only me by making you two watch her come undone on my cock.”

There’s disbelief throughout the room, trying to comprehend the lengths behind his words.

“W-Wait, are we really doing this in front of them?” you sputter.

“If you’re that uncomfortable about this love, then I’ll simply leave them in this room and fuck you in the next one so they can at least hear every little thing I’m doing to you,” he offers, tone descending multiple steps that rack shivers down your skin as he circles your body, standing chest to your back.

“But having an audience entices you, doesn’t it? After all, look at how wet you are.” He hooks an arm below your leg, lifting it slightly so his free hand can slip into your panties beneath your skirt, no longer blocked by your thighs clenching together. You find yourself winding an arm behind his neck to keep balance. Your eyes shut tight from both mortification and pleasure at how he strokes your slit in front of the two heroes. Sure enough, there’s an abundant amount of slick gathered at your center, the shameful squelching at your throbbing cunt not eluding anyone’s ears in the room.

“Mmm, already such a drenched fucking mess. It’s like the fact that all three of us lust for you makes you even wetter,” he whispers into your ear like a red-winged devil professing your sins to you—sins you should feel disgraceful for, yet you can’t help the exhilaration simmering in your chest. After all, having three powerful, attractive men vying for your attention is nothing short of every girl’s dream. To deny the effects this has on your body would only add dishonesty to your list of sins. Shouto takes your silence as confirmation.

Parting from your panties, he reveals his fingers coated in your shiny essence to everyone in the room. Bakugou and Midoriya water at the sight, groans stifled under their breaths as the many nights of dreaming about how sweet you taste come back to hit them all at once. The saccharine dripping between your thighs is so close, and yet so far as Shouto remains firm on his word about keeping them bound throughout his show of dominance.

Though driven in such compromising circumstances, the two Pro Heroes can’t find it within themselves to tear their eyes away from you. Perhaps in actuality, a deep, dark longing inside them secretly confesses to wanting to watch you unravel amidst the throes of pleasure, even if your undoing is due to someone that isn’t them.

“What a naughty slut you are, admitting you get off at the thought of more than one man wanting to ravage this body of yours.” His lips brush against the shell of your ear, heightening your mortification and the ever-growing wetness at your center.

“However, I’m all you need, isn’t that right, sweetheart? I’m the only man that can reduce you to this soaked, quivering mess from just my voice alone, and the only one whose cock makes your body shake with pleasure that leaves you sore for days.”

“Yes, Sh-Shouto…” you airily whimper in reply.

Shouto’s index finger presses against your trembling bottom lip, slightly smearing your slick on its plushness before he cups your face to stare directly at Bakugou and Midoriya.

“Go on then. Tell the Number One and Number Two Pro Heroes who you belong to,” he commands lowly in your ear. Before you can speak, heat ignites in your cheeks. You glance down and take note of the prominent bulges within the two’s tight clothing, their cocks positively aching to break free from the confines. The fact that the two seem to be getting off on the sight of you manhandled by Shouto is something to acknowledge.

“I… I belong to you…” Your voice wanes.

“Who? Be more specific, baby.”

“I belong to the Number Three hero, Todoroki Shouto,” you say, more clearly this time. The response is sufficient enough to satisfy the man behind you, who turns your head so your lips can connect in a passion of teeth and tongue dancing together that leaves your lungs gasping for air, detaching with ragged breaths. While you’re recovering, Shouto tugs you closer by your chin, pressing your foreheads against each other, where you gander into the depths of his gray and turquoise eyes swimming with lust.

“That’s right, and no one else is going to fuck you like I am tonight.” He sneaks a side-glance at his fellow heroes. “They can only watch as I drive my cock into your pussy over and over again, wishing they were me.”

Midoriya remains silent, letting his troubled expression speak for him, blush persisting on his face. Bakugou, on the other hand, decides to spit a few words out.

“Fuck. You.”

Make that only two words. Still, the venom dripping off each one gets his point across, in that he’s absolutely livid. But sadly for him, it has no effect on the calm and collected Todoroki Shouto.

Taking you by the hand, he leads you to the futon, sprawled out flat for your small audience to behold the entirety of your fucking tonight. Shouto kisses the back of your hand before leaving you to continue standing. He settles himself on the sheets with his arms propped behind him to view up at you as you obediently wait for his orders.

“Well, love, you know what to do. Take off some clothes for me,” he says gruffly. You oblige, slowly peeling off layers. Your skirt piles into a heap on the floor at undoing the zipper holding it in place, quickly followed by the blouse tossed over your head which leaves the remaining clothing on your body your mismatched lingerie. The dainty, silk intimates are the only thing separating you from being fully exposed to everyone.

Even given a sparing view of you from behind, Midoriya and Bakugou readily eat you up. If they somehow haven’t been undressing you with their eyes before this, then they certainly are now. Bakugou zeroes in on your pert ass, emphasized by your panties, and itches to grasp its softness in his own palms, desiring to squeeze, rub, and spank till his heart’s content.

Contrarily, Midoriya has his sights set on the clasp of your bra. What he wouldn’t give to unfasten it from your body and have the article of clothing slip off your skin, putting your beautiful breasts on display, nipples likely stiff and begging for the attention of his fingers and mouth.

It’s unfortunate for them that no such fantasies will come true tonight. After all, you don’t belong to them. You belong to Shouto.

Feeling incredibly vulnerable, you rub your thighs together to create some friction between your lower lips, trying to subside the throb growing in your belly. But you can only endure for so long when Shouto is staring at you with such scalding intensity. You’re struggling to hold onto the remnants of your dignity before it’s stripped away from you at the next command.

“Baby, you’re gorgeous, but,” Shouto hums, admiring the view for a second longer before cutting to the chase, “I want it all off.”

Not wasting any time, your thumbs hook under the waistband of the silk, quickly casting the panties to join the pile below your feet. The way your web-like slick connects your folds to the material before breaking off as your panties reach the ground does not go unnoticed. Your bra, of course, is the next to be discarded—unhooked and tossed, unveiling your tits to the chilly air.

Defenses torn down, you stand bare and exposed to all eyes in the room. You don’t miss the glint flitting in the mismatch of Shouto’s eyes, staring at you like he’s uncovered a beautiful pearl beneath the ocean. Though this is far from your first time engaging in your sexual desires with him, you always fall prey to that carnal look of his, which seemed even more lecherous tonight. He runs a finger on his lips pulled into a seductive smile, eyes piqued at your naked form.

Prickles of arousal travel down your spine. You can’t discern whether it’s the very thought of your vulnerability or the fiery looks you swear are piercing into you at every angle that has you tingling with anticipation.

Either way, such spark coursing through your veins drives you into Shouto’s waiting arms as he beckons you to him. He welcomes you onto his lap, allowing your thighs purchase next to his own while his large hands grope at your soft skin. It isn’t long until your lips meet again, Shouto coaxing—no—prying them open with his tongue as it finds yours, brushing the underside and chasing with zeal. His roughness has you at a loss for words, quite literally as all you can respond with are the airy moans leaking out between each fervent lip-lock. When Shouto grabs at one of your mounds, index finger circling your perky nipple, you let out a surprised squeak.

Your two bystanders’ dicks stutter in response at the noises, having absolutely nothing to do but watch and listen in envy. Every time they hear such a sweet succession of sounds from you, they fidget in their positions, attempting to pathetically generate some pressure against their clothes to alleviate the pain in their cocks.

Shouto does not miss the way they struggle within his periphery, smirking at their pitiful attempts to find any form of relief. At this, a sly thought flickers in his head.

With his hands on your hips, he guides your body further against his own. You find your knees supporting you up while your upper body leans over Shouto, hands gripping his shoulders to keep you steady. The position he’s led you in doesn’t grant you many options, besides obliging to be pliant in his hands.

Peeking over your shoulder, you flush with heat when you realize your ass is perked in the direction toward Midoriya and Bakugou. The troubling thoughts of whether you should feel flustered or flattered by their mesmerized state at how spread you are, hovering above Shouto’s lap, is ripped away when the Pro Hero begins cascading his hands across your skin. His palms waver back and forth within the boundaries of your ass and thighs, every now and then squeezing your warm flesh during his crossings between the two.

“Mmm, Sho…” you whine, the palpable neediness in your voice begging for him to touch your throbbing center already. Bakugou and Midoriya wish for the same, tormented by how slow he decides to take his caressing. If it were up to them, they’d already be tongue deep in your pussy already, perhaps even bottoming their cocks inside your walls, considering how soaked you must be. But no, Shouto wants this night to last. And he’s going to set the pace however he sees fit.

One of Shouto’s hands creeps beneath your leg to maneuver them further apart before his palms find their place at the underside of your poised ass. A short sigh floats amid your parted lips at how he spreads your cheeks, exposing your cunt freely to the two. You hear a groan, followed by an obscene “fuck…” that has you wondering what the view must be like from their perspective to render them so awestruck.

And man, if only you could see your pretty little cunt—wet, glistening, and fluttering on nothing, pleading for stimulation. Stimulation that Shouto grants sparingly as his middle and ring finger suddenly prod your slit, tearing a surprised gasp from your mouth while you toss your head backward.

Your slippery pussy coats his fingers in an opalescent sheen. He hums at the debauched image of your body yearning his touch. “Such a slutty, needy pussy… So messy, even though I haven’t even taken my clothes off yet.” Shouto takes the sullied fingers into his mouth, swiping his tongue at your delectable taste abiding his digits. It’s obscene how he makes a show of drinking up the honey from your thighs to taunt Midoriya and Bakugou, groaning between licks like it’s the one thing keeping him sustained. Well, then again, Shouto could probably survive on your essence for days if he tried, considering his favorite places to be is between your thighs anyway.

Head tilting in the direction behind you, you could’ve sworn you saw one of the two licking their lips while the other swallowed a large, heavy gulp. Before you can question it further, Shouto’s words resume ringing in your ear.

“It’s all for me right, love?” he asks as though he doesn’t already know the answer.

Your body quivers as he dives down to continue prodding your cunt before you can even respond properly. “Y-Yes, it’s just for you, Sho— Ah..!” You try your best to muster the words out. But his fingers give you no moment to spare. A jolt of pleasure spikes through your body as he reaches your clit, leaving your voice hanging in the air.

“Unnf... f-fuck...”

Shouto is relentless this time, attending to your bundled nerves at an excruciating rhythm that has you swaying your hips into his hands. Then all coherent thoughts are whisked away when you feel two fingers penetrating your sloppy pussy, thrusting into places you could never reach on your own, and prepping your walls for what’s to come.

“Baby, you take my fingers so well, you’re practically sucking them in,” he praises, reveling in the way you writhe in pleasure at him playing with your cunt. Whining, your legs move further apart involuntarily, allowing him deeper access.

You shake amid his ministrations, teeth pulling at your bottom lip at every sultry sensation rushing through your body. Wrinkling the fabric of his white shirt, your fingers dig into his shoulders, nails sinking deeper into clothed skin when you feel that familiar ache boiling in your abdomen.

“Your thighs are trembling just trying to hold you up. Going to cum soon, love?” Shouto asks. He chuckles at how vigorously you nod your head next to him, knowing your voice would fail you by the moans threatening to unravel precariously from your lips.

“Good, I want you to fucking scream. Show them how well you can cum from my fingers alone, yeah?” he murmurs beside your ear, not giving you much warning than that before suddenly increasing his movements on your cunt.

“Ah, Sho..! Sho!”

There’s nothing for you to do other than to chant his name over and over again like a mantra. You squeeze your fingers into his skin to make sure you don’t end up dissolving in his hands from the fire flaring inside you, threatening to melt you entirely.

And he loves every bit of the needy noises you make. Knowing it’s his name that echoes in the room around them, resounding in the very minds of his rivals who witness firsthand the way you scream out amidst the throes of pleasure—the scene better than any imagination of theirs they’ve conjured in their delusional fantasies—feeds Shouto’s ego deliciously.

The strained gasp you choke out when his lips make contact on your jawline has him smiling against you, the kisses he plants there blooming loving blemishes on your skin. You struggle to keep yourself together from all the sensations storming you at once. There’s something euphoric yet… foreign coursing through your body that you can’t discern, and you’re half-worried of what’s to happen when you reach your imminent release.

“Sh-Sho, wait..! Oh god, I’m gonna—!” you warn, but that only compels Shouto to speed up his pace in a last push for you to cum. From his bruising bites to his fingers methodically working you with skilled ease, it isn’t long until your escalating high peaks into intangible relief.

And god, the throb feels almost uncomfortable but so blissful at the same time.

The pressure builds up to an intense climax that has your walls clamping around his fingers, and your thighs shaking beside him while you yell out Shouto’s name. Holding you through every step of the way, his fingers steady inside you as you convulse around them. The ones at your clit continue rubbing your sensitive, swollen bud throughout your release to widen the intensity.

As your whole body trembles at the haze-induced orgasm, you lean against the hero for support.

“Ohhh baby...” His purrs rumble deep within his chest, an extra lick of delight in his tone. Your eyes are shut while you stumble down from your rapturous high, whimpering when Sho removes his fingers from your pulsating pussy.

“D-Did she just..?!” Midoriya questions incredulously, to your surprise.

“Fuck! I can’t believe she fucking squirted!” Bakugou follows.

At that, your eyes shoot open. You muster the energy to lift your body off Shouto’s lap and reveal to yourself the evident damp spot left on his pants from what you very much have to assume is a result of you gushing your release on him.

Trepidation creeps underneath your skin, swallowing you in mortification.

You really did that.

Squirted in front of the top three Pro Heroes in the country, making a mess on Sho’s pants with your flowing, translucent cum. The very reminder of it spouts your head with your overthinking.

“Wait, I didn’t mean to— I-I mean... I didn’t think I was ever a squirter. It’s just—”

“Love.”

A single word is enough to dispel your ramblings. You look up at Shouto like a deer caught in headlights, expression harrowed by apprehension. At that, he holds your shoulders, pulling you forward so he can press a reassuring kiss against your forehead. The tender gesture numbs the uneasy static racking through you, moving away to glimpse at the endearment hidden within the smoldering fog swirling in Shouto’s eyes.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” he assures through hushed words he embeds unto your skin, hands warmly running down your sides. “Besides, you squirting on my fingers was so so sexy.” His seductive allure returns almost as quickly as it disappeared amidst his soothing tone. His touches and the extra flair in his voice makes you hot all over again despite just cumming.

“I must have made you feel incredibly good, getting you to cum so hard like that. Even giving those two over there a show. Just look at them...” Shouto whispers closely, nudging you in the direction of your onlookers whose reddening faces visibly recoil when your eyes cross. It’s as if they’ve gandered into the abyss—anxious at what’s to come yet can’t seem to look away. You flutter between their expressions, gauging their blushes and furrowed brows, before lowering your gaze at the prominent stain on the crotch of their pants, pre-cum seeping at the surface due to the arousal built watching you ruined on Shouto’s very fingers.

A part of you wonders how pent up they must be. Your curiosity dances upon lewd thoughts about how stiff their cocks are and how their lengths would look freed from the constricting clothing. Veiny, hard, and painfully red all because of you. All because of what Shouto is doing to you.

It evokes you with a newfound surge of confidence, finding solace in your sea of uncertainty. And coupled with Shouto’s loving demeanor, you don’t seem to remember what you were ever so self-conscious about to begin with.

“Look at how depraved these sad men are.” Shouto clicks his tongue, a voice in his head confirming of what he already long knew. Deep down, he at least assures himself that his former classmates are aware of their place. In which they’re only allowed to look—not touch—and if they so much as plunge into forbidden territory, he’d rise above the waters to bite their heads off. He recognizes this from just a simple inspection of their faces.

Deterring after hearing Shouto’s words, Midoriya’s eyes cast downward to the floor, brows softened with hurt. His expression is burdened upon not only stigma but guilt, lusting after a woman that isn’t even his while allowing the absurd thought he could steal you away from the fire-and-ice hero to ever cross his mind.

Meanwhile, the blonde mulls over in defeat more so than shame. Although never one to yield from a fight, Bakugou had long realized this battle was over before it even began. You were deftly out of his reach. All he can settle for now is the afterimage of your undoing played back in his head, the recording surrounded by a thick cloud of envy.

Shouto reads their compliance clearly—a wordless surrender witnessing your aftermath of pleasure. As a result, a grin surfaces his lips. Unfortunately for them, the sly devil latent inside him is far satiated. Perhaps it’s time to move onto the next course.

His fingers brush along the underside of your chin, leading your half-lidded eyes to him.

“Baby,” he says, and the way he calls to you in that low baritone makes you receptive to his every word, “why don’t you go over there and help our guests get their cocks out of their pants, hm?” You nod slowly, half-wondering if he read your mind during your indecent contemplation. Shouto kisses the corner of your lip before you stand from the futon and saunter toward the two pillars of ice resting in the room.

Your steps are slow and languid, the consistent sway of your hips hypnotizing to both sides. Reaching the two, you lower to your knees, bending forward and offering Shouto a view of your exposed cunt that still drips of your essence. He bites his lip, palming his bulge through his pants until he begins freeing himself of the unnecessary clothing that would have been discarded by now if he wasn’t so absorbed in your climax.

In the meantime, you kneel in front of the top two Pro Heroes, mooning over who to approach first until your red and white-haired boyfriend answers for you.

“Midoriya first. And then Bakugou.”

You can practically feel the fire lighting inside Bakugou at the command, knowing Icy-Hot gives the order in favor of Midoriya just to get under his skin. You do well to ignore his malice by crawling over to the green-haired hero, hovering above his bound form, and meeting his emerald eyes that are wide and fixated on your every move.

The proximity between you two has the air trapped in his lungs. He holds his breath out of fear that if he lets go, you’d vanish into a mirage. But his throat hitches the very moment your fingers trace up the fabric of his pants, disembarking across his thighs and toward his painful erection that twinges at your touch. It’s fortunate enough for him that you don’t disappear and that the sultry look you give him as you drag the zipper of his pants down isn’t a figment of his imagination. You catch a glimpse of his briefs, along with the head of his dick peeking above the waistband, still strained by a single layer of fabric.

Midoriya swears he can cum right then and there when you lightly palm his hardness—the first relieving sensation he’s felt all night before it’s surmounted by you tugging down the waistband. Cock released from its confines, it jumps forward out of excitement before slapping back against his navel. Midoriya hisses at being open to the air, his feverish skin stinging surrounded by the coldness throughout the room.

As you predicted, the Number One’s cock stands stout and protruding red at being neglected for so long. It begs to be touched.

“P-Please…” The whisper is almost inaudible, but you discern the desperation in his tone.

Midoriya’s pleading expression staring down at you nearly sways you to grant pity on him, but you know you’re given no position to do that. So sadly, you move on. The hero laments you leaving so soon, a whine quietly squeaking from him, left with nothing but his length stiff on his abs as you make your way to Kacchan.

Unlike the former, the blonde actually makes an effort to free himself one last time, a struggle you pick up on when you near him. He’s gritting his teeth together, heat slowly radiating off his body stoked by his anger. Yet that somehow all dissipates at a simple glance of your face. There’s a glassiness in your eyes that renders him silent.

His narrowed stare wanders toward your plush lips, looking so damn soft and kissable. If only he could muster the willpower to break free and move forward to capture them in his own, seal them tight so he wouldn’t have to hear Icy-Hot’s name spilling out of them anymore. But your steady gaze on him freezes him into the ice, halting his motions as if you were medusa. He hears nothing but his racing heart palpitating in his chest as he waits for you to make a move.

“Hm, Bakugou’s been a bit of a brat tonight, wouldn’t you say, love? How about you tease him a bit?” Shouto suggests mischievously.

Turning in his direction, you see him sitting on the bedding, naked and stroking his cock listlessly as he waits for you. The sight encourages you back to Bakugou’s erection to finish the task you started, thighs shuffling against each other at a glimpse of your prize between the Number Three hero’s legs.

As if you couldn’t get anymore seductive, you adjust yourself right between the blonde’s spread form, carelessly brushing a strand of hair behind your ear as you bend forward, back arching. Bakugou has no idea what he’s in for, fearing for the worst knowing you plan to tease him. He starts muttering a question that never reaches your ear, the words splintering off when he deftly realizes you’re pulling his pant’s zipper between your fucking teeth. Making sure never to break eye contact with him, you drag the metal down at an excruciating pace, each tooth of the zipper undone so slowly it’s practically torture to him.

“Shit... Y/n…” he groans wantonly as you reach the end of your destination. After being contained all this time, it seems his cock wants to come out with a vengeance. You gasp when it suddenly springs past his briefs, nearly making contact against your cheek.

Bakugou sputters an filthy amount of curses, finding the image of you wincing in shock and glancing up at his thick cock towering next to your face with the tip oozing of his pre-cum to be utterly pornographic. Well if this is truly reminiscent of a porn scene, you’d be wrapping your hands around the base of his cock by now, fisting it before delightfully enveloping the tip in your hot mouth. But the call of your name behind you cracks that fantasy into pieces.

To his dismay, your attention swerves from the embossed vein lining Bakugou’s dick to Shouto’s muscular body, idle on the futon, where he gestures a finger at you. You return to your usual place atop his lap, except this time there’s no longer any barrier of fabric to prevent you two from feeling each other’s heat.

Shouto grazes his hands on your back, humming into your neck. “Well, baby, you saw how hard their cocks were. How does it feel to have the top three pros all craving you at once?”

You pause amidst your reply, the little kisses he brushes on your jugular serving to distract you for a moment. You have to ask yourself if your boyfriend is throwing a trick question at you. Giving it some thought, you decide to tackle it honestly.

“It feels... pretty good,” you murmur, a tad squeamish while he maps the expanse of your neck with his lips. It’s an answer he anticipates according to the next question he follows up.

“But of all the cocks in this room, whose do you want the most?”

“Yours, Sho.” Compared to before, your answer is given promptly. Shouto grins at how eager you are for him. “Only yours.” You affirm one last time, effectively hammering a nail into Midoriya and Bakugou’s chests. Shouto’s hands traverse your waist, then to your thighs, giving your flesh a solid squeeze.

“That’s right, you’re my fucking cock slut and no one else’s.” You almost choke when he lurches forward to grind his erection against your wet core, emphasizing your innate effect on him. Whimpering at the slippery friction of his hardness on your swollen clit, you find yourself moving in tandem with his motions.

“My my, still that needy even after you already squirted all over my fingers? Your pussy is just so so greedy for me, isn’t it?”

“Y-Yes... F-Fuck, Sho, please let me put your cock inside me. I want to cum on your cock so much!” you plead, voice rising at every insufficient jerk of your hips. It isn’t enough to just rub your sensitive little pearl against it. You need the thing inside you since yesterday, and you’re more than willing to throw your last fragment of modesty out the window to get it.

Luckily for you, your neediness seems to work in your favor as Shouto has no objections at granting you your pleasure.

“Don’t worry, baby. I told you I’d be driving my cock in and out of you in front of them, didn’t I?” He runs his fingers on the edge of your cheek, admiring the cute desperation readable over your features—eyes glazed, skin hot, and cunt positively dripping. “Of course, I intend to keep that promise. But first…” He lays you two into his favored position, maneuvering your body until you’re straddling his thighs. He peers up at you while nestled back on the sheets.

“I suppose since I forced them here, the least we can do is continue giving them something to remember. It is going to be the first and last night they’ll see you like this anyway,” he reasons. The two mentioned pique hearing the statement. You yourself grow considerably hotter, realizing he’s angled you in a way that grants your audience another enticing view of your body above him.

“Well, princess, why don’t you start riding your stallion then?” Shouto incites his request as more of a command than anything else, and you begin earnestly catering to him by lifting your hips. You align his length toward your entrance. His calloused hands spread on your thighs at the anticipation of watching the head of his cock enter your wet heat.

“Ooooh yeah, keep going baby, take it all in,” he encourages through purrs reverberating in his throat. With each inch you swallow between your folds, his expression knits into pure bliss, brows narrowed at how well your tight pussy hugs his cock. He looks up and catches you slowly unraveling before his eyes. You strain to keep yourself together, eyes shut in pleasure at the delicious burn swelling in your stomach.

There’s a stifled noise parting your mouth that hangs open as you gradually envelop him to the shaft. Shouto’s thick cock slowly bottoms inside your walls and makes you feel so complete. While he lets you adjust to his sizable girth, his palms grope your skin, soothing the tense burn churning inside you.

“Mmph…” you whine, hands trying to find some leverage, laying flat on his abs. You give yourself a second, followed by another until the short pain you feel morphs into a delectable buzz.

“I… I’m going to move now, Sho,” you tell him before flitting up and down his long length, progressing tentatively. His heterochromatic eyes are dark and murky, watching his cock glisten in more of your sheen while you glide it into your pussy at a steady tempo. You make sure to take everything offered to you to the fullest, from the tip to base where his balls brush the underside of your ass. Shouto is more than endowed and you don’t ever plan on taking any part of his gift for granted.

“Mm, even after I prepped you, you’re still so tight for me,” Shouto groans, your cunt rippling waves in his body. Despite being consumed in your ministrations, you have to note how sinful he looks below you, sweat shining on his skin and tufts of red and white hair sticking to his forehead. It’s hard to believe a man as handsome as him could be so possessive with you, going through such lengths to prove to his rivals that you only belong to him. But man, do you find it to be hot. The notion once again has your cunt clenching considerably.

“It’s because—ah—you’re so th-thick,” you tell him, and in turn, he gives you a devilish smirk that adds fuel to the fire lighting in your abdomen. Before you can conjure another thought, he suddenly thrusts his hips up to meet yours, reaching a particular spongy spot that causes you to cry out.

“Why don’t we increase the pace then? Ride me faster, love. I want you to cum hard on my cock in front of them.”

Oh boy, he doesn’t have to tell you twice.

You swiftly nod, gathering some ardor in your thighs that helps you bounce more fervently on top of him. What was once subtle claps chiming in the room escalates into a concert of skins slapping against each other. Gripping your hips, Shouto meets every heavy drop with a firm thrust upward, continuing to reach the same place that induces heaven across your entire body.

Your moans are uncontained now, flittering out at how good Shouto’s cock is making you feel. The sounds are beyond intoxicating to him, like a midnight song he could get drunk on and gladly switch to repeat.

Every slam into your spread pussy steals your words away while reducing him to hissing between his teeth, your folds enshrouding him with unimaginable euphoria that has his onlookers glaring in envy.

The sight is one that Midoriya and Bakugou will surely replay throughout their wistful days after tonight. Your breasts swaying in time with your sloppy movements is a marvel to gawk at as the two implant your glazed body bouncing atop Shouto into their memories, their deluded imaginations going to work at inserting themselves into the fray.

Your hips plunging in sync at each surge of Sho’s cock has stars twinkling across your bleary vision, eyes rolling in the back of your skull. His cock penetrates you in ways no one else could, brimming your body with sublime rapture that you relay honestly in your wails.

“Fuck, you feel so good—” Shouto mutters his praises. He effortlessly keeps up his drilling and angles himself perfectly so the tip reaches your erogenous zone throughout. His hands are digging so deep into your skin, you have no doubt your hips will be daubed purple by the end of the night.

Sweat thoroughly coating his body, his aggressive rutting into your velvet walls has his cock twitching inside you. He recognizes you’re nearing your climax as well when you slowly grip him like a vise. “Gonna milk me, love? Squeeze all the cum out of me and into that slutty pussy of yours?” He asks the question through grunts he spits between his teeth, the sounds coming out on the cusp of feral growls. He’s amused by how your tongue lolls out of your mouth as you try to form any kind of response. The rampant motions make it hard for you to grasp any sense of reality other than the sensations that collide your nerves.

“Y-yes, yes! I’m so close, Sho— Please—!” The moment you have a hand on your wheel of cognition, you start begging like it’s second nature, uncaring of the other two in the room as tears dot the edges of your lashes for relief. And how is Shouto to deny you when you’re playing such a lewd act?

“Need it so bad, n-need to cum— Ah—!”

In the very next second, your body dives to where your back forcibly lands snug on the futon, choking your words to a startling puff. Shouto shadows over you, leering down like he’s sizing his prey one last time before going in for the kill.

“Hm, since you’re begging so nicely for me, I’ll gladly help you reach your bliss, baby,” he says, tongue running along his bottom lip before he resumes driving into your pussy.

He hooks his hands beneath your knees to spread you apart further, giving his cock no repercussions on pistoning forward at unbridled speeds. Your fingers delve into the sheets, gripping the cloth like it’s your lifeline. You feel your lower body slightly lifting off the bedding due to Shouto wanting you two impossibly closer, cock thundering against you.

What you’ve yet to realize—trapped within your tornado of ecstasy—is your spectators freeing themselves from the ice, glaciers reduced to pieces at their powers. The whole exhibition had been too much for them to handle, quite literally snapping their restraints. Their clothes are gone within a flash, articles of them thrown half-hazardly on the floor. It leaves nothing to stop them from finally granting some form of bliss on their neglected cocks, fisting their lengths in conjunction with your symphony of moans.

That aside, they don’t matter to you at this moment. All you have eyes for is the man above you, whose heterochromatic gaze returns your shared adoration with equal fervor, if not more so.

“Well, love, you wanna cum, right? Then you know what to do,” Shouto grunts, lowering his torso so he can close a bit of the distance between your faces, “Tell me, who’s making you feel this fucking good right now?”

Brain a scrambled mess, you’re thankful the answer you scrounge for is a simple one.

“You, Shouto! Unnf, it’s your cock that’s making me feel good!” you exclaim, your back bowing off the bed when you perceive the coil tight in your abdomen nearly about to break. Your wanton reply has him sending his satisfaction back tenfold into you through the expert rocking of his hips.

“Yesyesyes, oh fuck— Y/n, cum all over my cock! Let go, baby!”

You scream the moment the order is given, Shouto slamming into your g-spot the impetus you need to come undone in violent spasms. Firecrackers spark beneath your skin at the ecstasy hitting your every nerve. Seeing you reach the apex of your high—eyes lidded and limbs trembling as you throw your entire body into the sheets—encourages Shouto toward his release, pumping himself in and out of your fluttering walls.

“Fuck! Y/n!” he pants raggedly before snapping his hips in place, dick twitching inside you. A gasp rips your throat as you feel his thick ribbons of white cum fill you to the brim. Shouto remains inside you for a good minute longer, hovering over your sluggish, sweaty body to seize your lips in his while you two slowly descend from heaven. You move sweetly and slowly against him, savoring the moment in the presence of his tender loving.

Meanwhile, Midoriya and Bakugou have already blown their loads all over themselves, creamy spurts painting their skin. They lean back to find their groundings, unable to even speak after what was surely an excruciating event for them both.

You’re still unsure how to go about confronting the aftermath of it all, deciding to only imbed your eyes onto Shouto due to the embarrassment that starts simmering in your mind now that you’ve come down from your highs. Your fingers rise to swipe a few stray strains of damp red-and-white hair off your boyfriend’s forehead, murmuring something kept between the two of you.

“Going through all of this just because you were jealous? You sure are insatiable, Sho.”

He chuckles at the jest behind your words, giving the other Pro Heroes a once over before he comes back to you with a satisfied grin plastered on his face, making you question whether his devilish tendencies have truly left him after tonight.

“What can I say? I guess I just want to monopolize you, baby.”

[smilingnekos]

Contain spoilers from Bonten and Final arc

·..➭Title: Stop

·..➭Characters: Haruchiyo Sanzu(Bonten), Y/N

ﾟ    — ➴ Y/N realizes how late ot was to escape the relationship. ( DARK CONTENT WARNING)

TWs: Reader is sad, reader is trying to break up with Sanzu, Border-line yandere Sanzu (I guess?), Dark content, mentions of drug usage, cursing, kinda domestic abuse

Notes

My brain shortcircuited for the whole period of brainstorming.

This is kinda dark since we are dealing with Bonten

Also going with the thing about Sanzu using d***gs

Am pretty sure that I spelled some of my words wrong

Link to Masterlist

----------------

You always admired Sanzu. A soft-spoken man who displays mad loyalty to those who he respects. You had tried getting close to him, but he did not seem interested.

Until one day. You still remember the male stuttering out his confession, not that you minded of course. You accepted it without hesitation, happy to know that the two of you had become closer.

Though Toman was disbanded, your relationship with him got closer than ever. There were occasional times when he would stay over at your place. Those times were rare.

Those were happy times, until the gang that Sanzu joined turned into something much more terrifying.

Bonten. A name that struck fear into many civilians hearts.

You had tried to warn the male against it, trying to persuade him into a much peaceful life. Sanzu had brushed it off, saying that you were worrying too much.

"What is this?" You had noticed your now-husband's addiction to a kind of powder. That was not the only thing you had observed your husbnd taking. There would be colorful pills scattered around the house, as if for you to find.

"Freshly brought pills~" He had replied, as he continued to watch the movie that was playing on the television screen. "You can leave it on my table ."

You tried hard to ignore the red flags. You convinced yourself that it must be the typical behavior of a person working in an infamous criminal organization, it just must be it.

That did not dismiss the fact that Sanzu would text you almost every minute of the day, which could be endearing if looked at the right light.

Once again, you convinced yourself that he must be worried. Afterall, you were sheltering a criminal, and a high-ranking one to top it off.

One day, you had enough of it. "Hun'...I think that this relationship is not working." You filled a glass of water before sitting on the counter top that you had recently brought.

Instantly, the blonde looked up from the newspaper he was reading. "W-why?" He inquired, waiting for your answer.

"I don't get to go outside for a few days or at most a few weeks." You continued to list down the things that just...was not looking good in the relationship.

The glass of water was soon knocked out of your hands as Sanzu glared at you. "All I had done is to protect you! Look at you now, I give you all the clothes you want, all the necessaties that you need and now you complain, you ungrateful bitch!" With that he shoved you off the chair.

"Please stop Sanzu..." You whimpered, crawling back up. You could see clearly that he was furious. "Shut up! All I ever done is give you everything and all I receive is this rotten attitude of yours?!" The blonde tugged at your hair, pulling you up.

You yelped in pain before you glared at him right in the eye. "I should not have fell for you!" You screamed, temporarily stunning Sanzu.

You ddid not care about him anymore. All your previous feelings that you held for him were gone, burnt into ashes. Your legs instinctively worked, running towards the nearest exit.

"No you aren't!" Sanzu growled, grabbing at your ankle, causing you to collapse. You thrashed your leg around, hoping to loosen the tight grip on your ankle. That did not work.

The male-no monster pulled you closer to him before holding you close to his chest. You sobbed, not wanting to listen to any of the monster's words.

Sanzu grinned widely at the sight. "I will make you the happiest in the world, darling~"

[kittyprincessofcats]

She-Ra S5 E09 - An Ill Wind

In which the Best Friend Squad’s back on Etheria and I’m back to writing up my thoughts about it. (The real question is whether I’ll manage to finish these posts before season 5’s one-year-anniversary.) I probably really don’t need to say this anymore, but there might be spoilers for the rest of the season in this post.

- I think it’s funny how Catra can’t stand teleporting, but what’s even more important is how visibly concerned for her Adora is each time. Have you seen how she touches Catra’s shoulders and looks at her with such a worried expression? D’awww.

- “Wow, you don’t trust the princesses? I am shocked.” No Glimmer, Catra’s 100% right. This has nothing to do with trusting the princesses; you really don’t know who’s chipped and which places are occupied by clones. Perfuma literally told you the rebellion was compromised.

- “Catra’s right.” THANK YOU, ADORA! (Also, I love Catra’s satisfied little smirk in the background when Adora says this.)

- I just paused the episode when they arrive in Erelandia and counted the Horde flags you can see hanging all over the town: 14, plus one giant Horde sign in the sky and a spire not too far away. Prime, are you compensating for something? (Also, Adora has an arm on Catra’s back again. Cute.)

- Is it a little disappointing that all the rebellions against Horde Prime on other planets got reduced to one brief exposition scene where a clone mentions they’re happening and a few quick images? Yeah. But I also get why the show just didn’t have the time for more and wanted to focus on Etheria.

- Speaking of, are those the magicats we see in the second image? Interesting… I’m not sure how I feel about the idea of Catra potentially being an alien as well. But then again, the show never clearly answers it one way or another, and there’s no reason magicats couldn’t have existed on multiple planets.

- Also, am I understanding this right: The Star Siblings started the intergalactic rebellion after meeting the Best Friend Squad? And now there are already rebels on several planets? Nice job, Star Siblings!

- “My heart aches for these misguided children.” I’m not sure if I’ve ever properly addressed the heavily religious symbolism around Horde Prime and his cult, but… that right there is *such* a Christian-extremist-coded line, holy hell…

- So Prime says he wants to use the Heart of Etheria “to bring peace to all the universe” and at this point I’m not entirely sure what his exact goal is. Does he just want to destroy all the planets with the Heart? Because I’ll be honest, I tend to find “I just want to destroy everything” a bit boring as a motivation in villains. What’s the point of him ruling the universe if there’s no one left to rule over? I mean, I know Prime had his whole “If there’s no one left, there are no wars, etc.” speech in an earlier episode, but that’s also just so dumb.

- Where did the Best Friend Squad even get those cloaks? Either way, Catra looks adorable with the outline of her ears showing under the hood. 🥺

- “I hope you, too, are full only of love for Horde Prime… and have no crippling doubt eating at your soul.” / “Brothers, there is nothing to see here!” Like I said in an earlier post, all of Wrong Hordak’s lines are absolute winners. Also, I love how the other clones just keep falling for his very obvious bluffs.

- Wrong Hordak learning to wink so quickly makes me jealous because I can’t wink. (No, I really can’t; I’ve tried. Whenever I try to only close one eye, I always end up closing both. If anyone has good advice on learning to wink, let me know.)

- I love the character designs of the mushroom people.

- Catra wasn’t wrong about the locals selling them out and not telling them anything useful. The others should listen to her more.

- Bow posing as the “average traveler passing though” is especially funny because I’m pretty sure there are no “travelers passing through” in times of Horde Prime.

Catra: “A town that hates princesses? Should I buy property here?”

Everyone else: *glares*

Catra: “Is what I would have said before I joined you. Go, team.”

😂😂😂 Catra’s quiet little “Go, team” in the end is what gets me most about this moment 😂. She’s adorable and trying her best, okay?

- I love how Wrong Hordak just calls everyone “brother” regardless of gender. Also, Adora’s little “Did you just wink at me?” / “That’s not how winking works!” moments are hilarious and adorable.

- “You’re wearing hooded cloaks, it’s highly suspicious.” Okay, mushroom lady’s not wrong, though. And I love how someone finally points this out, since hooded cloaks are so often used as “undercover” disguises in shows like this.

- That said, both she and mushroom guy earlier did try to sell the Best Friend Squad out super quickly. Like, I get that the locals are scared, but still… They could have tried to stay safe without running towards the clones to tell them everything right away.

- I’m just noticing that Erelandia has mushrooms everywhere. Obviously the people are mushrooms, but there are also mushrooms growing outside in the streets everywhere, and the shop they’re in is selling mushrooms and clothes with mushrooms on them as well.

- Both Bow and Glimmer blowing their covers almost immediately and Adora just quietly shaking her head at both of them in the background is amazing.

- Love Catra (and Melog) just casually stealing a mushroom from a mushroom lady.

- So Catra’s just chilling in a tree and eating stolen mushrooms and Entrapta wants to analyze samples that’ll be ready in 4-6 weeks – neither of them’s really helping right now. But then again, Catra wanted to leave in the first place because she thought the locals would sell them out (and she was right about that), so she probably thinks it’s not worth the effort.

- Also, you know who this scene with Entrapta and Catra is missing? Scorpia. If there is one problem I have with season 5, it’s that we didn’t get any Super Pal Trio reunion / moments with all of them on the same side now. (Or just in general, that we didn’t get to see Scorpia and Catra properly talking things out.)

- “That’s the windy one, right?” Okay, am I the only one who finds this line weird? Spinnerella literally has Adora, Bow and Glimmer trapped in a tornado as Entrapta says this. Obviously she’s “the windy one”? Entrapta can literally see that??

- “Lord Prime has given me peace.” Oh, I’m just realizing that’s just what Catra said when she was chipped. That’s got to be awful for Adora to hear again.

- Glimmer grabbing Bow and Adora’s hands and teleporting them out of the tornado was badass.

Adora: “How are we supposed to fight our own friends?”

Catra: “It never stopped you before.”

OMG. I love that Catra still considers their time as enemies as “being friends”.

- I really love Netossa’s entrance. What makes it really cool to me is that at that point the Best Friend Squad didn’t even know if there were any unchipped princesses left, so Netossa jumping in there with a casual “Welcome back, guys” was just an amazing moment.

- Also, I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but I really like that this season finally made Spinnerella and Netossa more important characters. (And I wonder how much network censorship of LGBT+ storylines had to do with them not being that important earlier on.)

- Hordak getting flashbacks of Entrapta again (while Prime looks at his older body’s memories) is just 🥺. I like how Prime talks about Etheria while Hordak slowly remembers more and more about his own life on Etheria.

- “So, the only person I’m fighting here is… my own wife.” I love the on-screen confirmation that they’re married! But also, Netossa wanting to attack Catra and Wrong Hordak at first was pretty funny.

- Catra and Glimmer’s respective expressions when they hear about Scorpia and Micah being chipped are a gut punch. Also, Netossa talking about how she has to get Spinnerella back is making me tear up.

- “Where are the rebels?” “Right beside you!” 😂😂😂 Amazing, just amazing.

- Love to see Catra taking out those bots. She’s so badass ❤️.

- “Be careful.” “Always am.” I wonder at what point Netossa started to realize what’s going on between Catra and Adora.

- Love Netossa whistling at She-Ra’s new look. Your wife’s right there, darling. But then again, who wouldn’t whistle at She-Ra’s new look?

- Honestly, why did anyone ever say Spinnerella and/or Netossa were weak? Their fight here really shows how powerful both of them are when they don’t hold back.

- “Stop holding back. She won’t.” Looking past how hard this must be for Netossa, this line really sums up why so many characters in shows like this seemingly become more powerful when they turn evil (or less powerful when they turn good): Because the bad guys have no reason to hold back.

- Adora firing a rainbow beam from her sword was amazing. I wish we’d gotten to see a bit more of She-Ra’s new powers this season.

- “Please. I love you. Come back to me.” I’m crying 😢. That’s a nice first taste of all the “I love you”s to come in the finale. And I love that it works (even if just for a bit). The whole “power of love helps you break free from mind control” thing might be a cliché, but it’s a cliché I love, so…yay, awesome!

- But also, and I’ll probably talk about this more when I get to the next episode (that I had a few problems with), I like how Netossa doesn’t only rely on the power of love, but still realizes she has to first fight Spinnerella without holding back to get her into a position where they can even have this talk.

- Yay, mushroom town is saved!

- Catra reassuring Netossa that Spinnerella will be okay was so sweet. She’s really trying to be nice and I think she’s doing great 🥺. (Also, Adora looks at her so proudly.)

- I just noticed that when She-Ra replaces the Horde symbol in the sky with her sword symbol, all the Horde flags around town are already gone, too. Did Catra, Glimmer and the others just like… take all of those flags down in between fighting the bots? Or did Wrong Hordak maybe walk around taking off the flags while the others were fighting?

- That said, the rainbow sword in the sky looks amazing.

- “I think Horde Prime is going to know She-Ra’s back.” “Good.” Love Adora’s determined expression here.

- Geez Horde Prime, no need to punch the screen. The screen didn’t do anything to you.

- Okay, so Horde Prime finally decides to go to Etheria himself, and when he announces that, Hordak looks at the crystal in his hand – it’s all coming together.

- “This is where the rebellion is hiding out?” “Yup. Why, have you been here?” The looks on Glimmer and Catra’s faces here are amazing. People have of course already written all kinds of amazing metas analyzing their expressions, but the short version is that Glimmer seems to remember their fight fondly, while Catra seems embarrassed.

- Perfuma trapping them all in vines and demanding to see their necks is not only hilarious, but also shows that the rebellion has learned from their past mistakes. 👍

- All of their reunions (Bow and Perfuma, Glimmer and Frosta, Adora and Swift Wind, Entrapta and Emily) were super sweet – I like big reunion scenes 🥺. Wrong Hordak meeting Emily was adorable. Perfuma clinging to Bow and crying about how she doesn’t want to be in charge anymore had me laughing so hard 😂.

- Okay so, I know Frosta’s punch breaks the mood a moment later, but I really think Adora wanting to officially introduce Catra to everyone after seeing her standing there alone while everyone else was having big reunions was super sweet. The way her face falls when she sees Catra standing there sadly, the way she asks her to come here so gently… it’s just so sweet. 🥺

- Also, unpopular opinion, but am I the only one who didn’t really find Frosta punching Catra funny? (And the same goes for Scorpia electrocuting her in the next episode, by the way.) I know these moments are meant to be cathartic “drag the former villain because some people are still mad at them” moments, but Catra’s whole story is largely about being a victim of physical abuse. Wasn’t there some way for the story to make fun of her without having other characters physically assault her? I like how Catra’s redemption was handled overall, but moments like those kind of rub me the wrong way. (Netossa trapping her in a net was fine though, because that didn’t actually harm her.)

- That said, Adora’s “Catra’s with us now. Okay? Hmm.” was hilarious. I love how she just gives the briefest explanation and then turns away from Frosta with a smile and little “hmm”, just completely expecting Frosta to be fine with this now.

- That ending shot of all of them together is epic.

So, what changed this episode is that Erelandia was freed, the space group has reunited with the remaining princesses, and Horde Prime is heading for Etheria. Good episode!

[Previous episode]   [Next episode]

[agentmattsimmons]

my thoughts on assassins at the classic stage company!! (or: a “review” of assassins by someone who just really, really loves assassins)

- first things first. this cast. so insanely perfectly cast i literally cannot get over it. everyone embodied their characters so well. it’s like these characters were written for them, and i fully believe this production is the best way to view assassins!! (also: this production is the best way to run it (masks, actors/musicians, the ending projection, the whole nine yards. it was something the musical was missing and made it that much better))

- some notable mentions (edit: this is really just bordering on the entire cast but they’re THAT GOOD!!!!!)

- ethan slater: WOW. just wow. his balladeer is one to remember and his transition into oswald is straight up unforgettable. he was so raw and powerful. there was pain in his movements as he took off the jumpsuit and handed it over to the balladeer. his hesitation and reluctance to do so. the way he looks down at it in his hands, the proprietor reaching for it. i was completely enamored the his performance. special mention for his complete enjoyment when watching the others!!!! you could make a show out of ethan slater’s love and admiration for his costars alone 

- brandon uranowitz: maybe i am biased because czolgosz is my favorite but he went above and beyond for this role. he was so perfectly angry and it was something you could sympathize with. the bottle scene Broke Me. his ability to portray emotions, especially those ugly, angry, self-loathing emotions we don’t like to feel, is on another level. and then you could practically feel every thought, every potential hesitation, in his mind as he waited in line. his tears when speaking to emma goldberg had me in tears man. there are no amount of good words to say just how amazing brandon uranowitz was as leon czolgosz. simply none. 

- tavi. gevinson. i found myself OBSESSED with her performance the entire time. she’s so convincing as a young girl in (delusional) love. everything about her was him and she sold it so well. her relationship with sarah jane moore was funny, i loved the way they worked off of each other and with each other despite their characters being complete opposites. not to mention her VOICE!!!!! i am absolutely in love w her portrayal of lynette fromme

- eddie cooper and bianca horn but especially at the end. eddie cooper was such an amazing proprietor and i loved everything about him, but what hit me was his performance at the end, after jfk dies. he’s not the proprietor anymore, he’s part of the audience. he is us, watching the president die. he brings the folded american flag down the stage, almost crying. i wasn’t sure if he did but it’s there in his face, his wobbling lip and pained eyes. i don’t think i can ever get that image out of my head. bianca horn at the end too. she cried and i cried and it was so beautiful and heartbreaking. she is a powerhouse and a force to be reckoned with, both vocally and acting-wise. she carries herself with such poise and grace. i couldn’t get enough of her performance, no matter who she was portraying.

- i don’t think i will ever get tired of steven pasquale as john wilkes booth!! he’s so perfect for this role and executed it so well, yet again. he was able to have fun with it but still understand the complexity of his character and his impact not only to the other assassins, but the audience as well. i will only accept productions of assassins with steven pasquale as booth from now on thank you. 

- alright i got carried away. back to the actual notes 

- something i really loved about the balladeer was how his guitar acted as protection. every time he comes to counter the assassins, he picks up his guitar. this is especially prevalent in when the assassins and the proprietor begin surrounding him (literally and figuratively). he lets his guitar fall but picks it right back up to frantically tell them that they’re wrong, that america can be a place where everyone succeeds. what seemed like the final push in this scene was the proprietor taking his guitar away. he does so with a smirk, while the balladeer reaches for it back. and then, we get lee harvey oswald. this scene was so well done and the guitar symbolism just.. chefs kiss. truly. 

- I Love The Actors/Musicians. Oh Man. it was so amazing to watch their incorporation into the cast as both musicians and ensemble members. also their ranges??? they all play multiple instruments throughout the show AND act AND sing. and their voicesssssssss!!!! they’re so talented and managed to capture my attention just as much as the assassins. 

- Mask. Choreography. i did not expect it !! but it works so well with the show and i never want to see a production without the masks tbh!! it was yet another reminder that this is now. we are living through what others will see as history, much like the events depicted in the show. now, it’s history. but it wasn’t then- it was real and now.

- i love the stage?? i’ve seen a few reviews that critique it for being too small and not allowing for much staging but i think the cast works so well with what they have and manage to use up the entire stage. the balladeer spends a good amount of time on the steps to the stage/the edge of the stage and the characters frequently run off into the audience so they utilize the ENTIRE space.  the cast was so good at making sure each section of the audience felt included (especially ethan!! i know i keep raving about his performance but i couldn’t stop thinking about how good he was at ensuring everyone in the audience was part of the show)

- i really loved how the balladeer was on stage for the majority, if not all, of the show. even when he’s not singing! he was just chilling at different corners of the stage or in the back. i found it so fun to be watching the show just to look over and see ethan slater enjoying it as much as i was

- The Projections. Hello?? Oh My God??? i’ve always loved how the show used the projector (i am a Big Fan of the jfk assassination scene in the bway revival when the zapruder film is projected onto oswald’s shirt) and this production took it to another level. each president is shown with their respective assassin when they’re all introduced, and then again when the assassins shoot them with a target overlaid onto their image. i do miss the t-shirt zapruder film but honestly? this felt just as powerful. instead of oswald becoming his actions, we get to see him watch it. react to it. absorb what he’s done. he stands in front of the projection in shock? misery? fear? pride? all of it. and it’s so amazing.

- projections 2.0 because it deserves its own bullet point: The Ending Projection. during everybody’s got the right (reprise), a picture of the jan 6 capitol riot is projected behind the assassins. as they sing about getting national attention by doing something no one thinks of, we see an image of rioters storming the capitol, waving trump 2020/4 flags. it’s such a shocking yet grounding parallel in the best and worst way. it’s (another) painful reminder that this isn’t history: this is now. these things aren’t to be forgotten with the rest of history because they continue to happen today.

- lastly a special note for guiteau and zangara because they were my moms favorite! she didn’t know the story before and genuinely believed zangara had a stomachache until it was talked about because wesley taylor is just That Good. guiteau was also one of my favorites because he was incredibly hilarious, the definition of unforgettable performance. there was a moment where he was at the end of the stage, right in front of me, looking down. i can’t remember the exact scene right now but as he was talking about his gun, his hand (holding the gun) twitched and he quite literally instilled the fear of god into me because i really thought he was going to point the gun straight at me. it was terrifying and thrilling and amazing all at once

- all in all: i would do anything to see this show again. id pay any amount for a recorded version honestly. the casts voices work so beautifully well together it’s a crime they don’t all work together for everything and anything else. they all bounce off of each other like no other!!! (especially ethan slater and stephen pasquale, those booth and balladeer scenes were Fantastic)

[anime-and-manga-rants]

Why I Believe Deku Fails as a Character (Part 3 of 3)

SPOILERS (for My Hero Academia Chapter 306 and 307, Attack On Titan manga spoilers occurring after Season 4 Part 1)

...

Allow me to introduce you to two kinds of character arcs in writing: the positive change arc and the flat arc. 

(There are five major kinds of character arcs in total, but I’m going to focus on the two above for right now. The other three are as follows: the fall arc, the disillusionment arc, and the corruption arc. In general, the positive change arc is the most common, so I’ll be sticking to that for the majority of this part. However, I will briefly cover the other three in light of Chapter 306 and 307 and where I believe the manga might be headed.) 

First, the positive change arc:

To make this easier (in other words, less time-consuming), let’s just focus on the three phrases under the title. 

Character believes lie, overcomes lie, and new truth is liberating. 

...

Second, the flat arc: 

Again, let’s stick to the three phrases under the title. 

Character believes truth, maintains truth, and uses truth to overcome the world’s lie. 

...

All right, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s begin. 

Deku follows a flat arc, not a positive change arc, at least up until Chapter 305 (but I will discuss that later). While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing as a concept, because flat arcs can still be quite interesting, his character arc is executed in such a way that makes it boring. To be frank. 

The reason why I first introduced you to the positive change arc, if you are not already familiar with it, is because it was most likely what you expected when you first began the watching the anime or reading the manga. It was what I expected, at least. Because it is the most common out of the five in any story you either watch or read, whether it be an anime, a movie, a TV show, a manga, or a novel. 

There’s nothing absolutely wrong with subverting expectations as long as it’s done well. That is why so many people love Eren Jaeger after the recent chapters of the manga or after the final season of the anime. Eren absolutely does not follow a positive change or a flat arc. No, you’ll see people claiming that Eren is one of the best anime protagonists in history because he doesn’t follow the popular positive change arc. His development is tragic, but it’s so real, and it’s so compelling to see him go from Point A to Point B.

I, of course, expected Eren to eventually follow a positive change arc, and the fact that he didn’t was great. Isayama handled his character arc so well that the subversion of that expectation only made Eren, as a character, all the more appealing. 

Just... the anger, then the resignation, then the resigned determination that’s present even in his character design:

Let me first explain how Deku is going through a flat arc. 

Deku’s views of the world of heroes are never challenged by anyone else in the anime or the manga. In fact, they’re only ever confirmed, especially by Stain when he saves Deku from the Nomu because he deems Deku worthy of becoming a hero. We’re only reminded of this later, during the League’s attack on the training camp, when Spinner saves Deku from Magne because Stain acknowledged him. 

(And maybe this is okay, because his view is that heroes should want to save everyone with a smile. Heroes should be like All Might, who reassured everyone just by showing up, all because they knew he was powerful enough to save them. And that he would save them without fail. His view of the world, of what a hero should be, is right in most people’s eyes.)

In other words, Deku does not believe a Lie that will eventually become a Truth. No sirree. Instead, he believes a Truth and has maintained it, and we expect he will eventually go on to change the world with it. (Unless that changes, but let’s assume this for now. Besides, even if he does have a character arc now with Chapter 306 and beyond, that doesn’t negate the fact that he hasn’t grown in the first 300 or so chapters.) 

So, as of the anime right now, Deku’s following a flat arc. Which would be fine, if his arc was still compelling. You see, flat arcs need something to make them compelling if the character themself isn’t going to change. 

For most flat arcs, you’ll see the main character, rather than growing or changing themself, change the world around them. They will uphold their inner truth in a world that doesn’t agree with them, and, eventually, the world will see that the character was right all along. But the world’s opposition at first is what drives the plot, and it is what makes the main character’s journey interesting. 

Because it’s conflict. Stories need conflict. 

So, automatically, Deku’s flat arc fails this requirement. It’s been proven over and over again that Deku’s outlook is right. Out of all the villains in MHA, Stain is the one whose philosophy we can agree with. Even the characters in the anime/manga agree with him! Horikoshi goes so far as to include Class 1-A commenting about how Stain’s philosophy is actually correct in some ways, and he mentions that Stain has merchandise created for him (in the MHA world) because his beliefs are appealing to the masses.

Essentially, what a flat arc character needs is a Doubt. In other words, the character needs something to make them question whether their Truth is right or not. Maybe this takes the form of doubt in a normal sense, with the character wondering whether or not they chose the correct Truth. Maybe this takes the form of doubt in the sense that they don’t know if they have the strength to carry out their conviction. 

There are many ways to execute a Doubt in a flat arc story, and yet Deku doesn’t seem to have one. 

I mean, hell, there isn’t even a doubt (ha-ha, see what I did there?) that Deku will become a great hero. From Day One, we’ve already known he’s going to become not only a great hero but the greatest hero:

So we know Deku succeeds in his goal of becoming a hero. This immediately strips away the fear that Deku won’t succeed in his current goal of becoming the next All Might. And while we can’t say for certain, I don’t think it’s farfetched to believe that the ‘greatest hero’ version of Deku believes the same thing as Deku in the second episode, where this line is from. With the word choice of “by the way” coupled with the fact that this line appears when it does, it seems to suggest that Deku’s going to become a hero with the same convictions as he has now. It gives off a childlike tone that parallels what Deku believes in now, as a child, which is the Truth I described up above. 

I just can’t name a single time where I’ve doubted that Deku would achieve his goal with the Truth he holds. It’s obvious that he already believes the Truth that the story is trying to push, because it’s the same philosophy of the former Number One Hero and the same philosophy of the only villain who the story tries to justify. And because we know Deku is going to become the ‘greatest hero,’ we know he’s got the strength to become a hero with the Truth he has now. With how overpowered OFA is, we know that as soon as Deku masters it, he’ll be stronger than the rest. We never doubt that. 

We can also pretty easily eliminate the idea of a Doubt in the sense that Deku is afraid he’s actually wrong about his ideas. I can’t name a single instance in the anime or manga that would indicate he believes his Truth could be wrong. In fact, as I mentioned earlier, the people around Deku only seem to prove that Deku’s Truth is correct. You would think that Stain, a hero killer, agreeing with Deku might raise some red flags in Deku’s mind, even if only for a brief moment, but we don’t even get that. 

I could list more ways that Deku fails to have other kinds of Doubts, but I think you get the point; there isn’t anything in MHA’s plot that makes you doubt Deku’s ability to accomplish his goals with the convictions he currently has and has had since the first episode/chapter. 

Basically, Deku’s got no conflict between him and anyone or anything other than an omnipresent and surface-level clash between heroes and villains. 

So, because Deku is a flat arc character with no Doubt, and because he has no truly interesting conflicts to overcome, he comes across as one-dimensional and boring. And, due to this, along with my other points from Parts 1 and 2, I believe Deku fails as a main character. 

...

But, before I wrap this up, let me mention what I promised earlier:

Chapter 306 and what might lie beyond. 

From this picture, we can see that the light has left Deku’s eyes. He’s not as hopeful anymore, if he’s even still hopeful at all. 

This is backed up by Chapter 307:

The line “No wonder my gift from the Fourth wouldn’t shut up” just doesn’t really sound like something the Deku we know would say. It's too mean.  

It’s almost as if Deku has given up on playing the nice guy, which is understandable, I suppose, but not really. Because why now of all times? Why has he given up now rather than before, and why all at once? 

While I might be completely wrong, it seems like Horikoshi just might be trying to change Deku’s arc from a flat arc to one of the three negative character arcs. Again, this is referring to either a disillusionment arc, a fall arc, or a corruption arc. Most likely, he’s trying to take Deku from an idealized hero to someone a little more open to vigilantism. 

But, if this is indeed the route he’s trying to take, it’s probably not going to work. Because he just hasn’t built up to it. He’s trying to subvert our expectations, but he’s not doing so hot, because you can’t change something like that just to give your plot an exciting little twist. 

This isn’t Eren Jaeger transitioning from the little boy who wants to kill every titan he sees to starting the Rumbling and killing millions all in order to assure his friends’ freedom. And the reason why it isn’t is simple: there’s no transition. Eren’s journey from Point A to Point B has many stops along the way, where he grows closer and closer to B with each one but he’s still too close to A to be at B yet. Unlike Eren, however, Deku jumps from Point A to Point B without stopping at all, and he leaves you wondering how the hell he got there. Did he teleport? Since when was that one of his seven Quirks? 

You can argue that his loss against Shigaraki was a breaking point of sorts, but this implies that there’s a buildup, and that just isn’t present in the anime or manga. I can’t name a single instance in the anime or manga where Deku’s actions suggest he’s questioning his Truth, his idea that he should save people with a smile and do it as a Pro Hero. Which is why the concept of Deku becoming less like All Might thanks to a loss of hope is interesting but can’t exactly be executed well at this point. 

Because you can argue that his loss against Shigaraki is his first taste of true defeat that leaves him reeling, but I would have to counter with: “Why then is Deku so dramatically affected now? Shouldn’t it be more gradual? It’s not believable if he suddenly becomes an entirely different person. He should still resist such a dramatic change if he’s been so unwavering in his Truth up until this point. It’s like he came across a wall and instantly decided he can’t scale it despite the anime/manga constantly telling us that he’s not one to give up.”  

So, despite Horikoshi’s potential attempt at changing Deku’s arc to one of the three negative character arcs, this won’t work well either. 

...

Despite everything I’ve just said, I’m still caught up with the manga (obviously) and am now patiently awaiting every new episode of season 5. And this is because, despite all of the flaws with Deku as a character, especially as a main character, Horikoshi has still managed to keep me interested in his story. And, honestly, that’s kind of impressive, isn’t it? Goes to show that, despite a show’s flaws, it can still be enjoyed. 

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Intro post (Please read)

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[aster-aspera]

Oleander

Prompt was given to me by @skylarstarlight so blame her for all the angst

Relationship: Logince

Warnings: Major character death, injury, blood, betrayal, angst, technically unsympathetic roman ig? Im going to put that warning here in any case, unhappy ending

If you enjoyed please reblog <3

Roman watched Logan from the back of the tent, admiring the sharp slant of his shoulders, the way his long, curly hair cascaded down his shoulders and unveiled the soft brown skin at the back of his neck. He’d been at it for hours, poring over maps with that concentrated furrow grifted into his face, occasionally bringing up a hand to brush some stray locks out of his face, before he turned all his attention back to the mess of papers on the large hardwood table. 

Roman was technically here to stop him from working, to drag him away from staring at how badly they were losing for just a few minutes and get him to eat some dinner. And those plans were definitely still on Roman’s to-do list, but for just a moment, he let himself stare at the other. They didn’t often get quiet moments in the midst of all the chaos that surrounded them. An advisor always flurrying around Roman, a commander pestering Logan about battle plans or food supplies. Roman wanted to save this little bubble of silence for as long as it could last.

“Are you going to continue to stand there growing mushrooms or are you going to speak?” Logan piped up with a soft chuckle, apparently tired of being stared at. 

“My apologies love, I was just admiring your beauty.”

Logan gave him a tight smile. “I’m sure you have better things to do than simply watch me.”

“Nope,” Roman said brightly, wrapping his arms around Logan enthusiastically and tucking his chin over his shoulder. “Never a wrong time for that.”

Logan sighed but begrudgingly gave into the hold, placing his hands over Roman’s where they were tightly wrapped around his stomach. 

“You should eat,” Roman murmured softly as he swayed them both from side to side. Logan hummed noncommittally. “I have work,” he deflected.

“And you’re of no use to us if you pass out from hunger.”

Logan buried his head in Roman’s shoulder. “It’s not like anyone thinks I’m useful either way,” he mumbled.

Roman looked up at Logan, dislodging his head from his shoulder. “Hey now,” he said firmly, “No one thinks that. You’re really smart and you’ve helped us so much.” 

Logan didn't meet his eyes. “We should eat,” he said shortly, “I need to finish organising these supply runs.”

Roman chewed his lip uncertainly as Logan pulled away from him and headed out the tent towards the campfire, the embers dancing up to the sky in dizzying spirals. 

~

Roman paced from one side of the tent to the other, periodically pushing open the flap to gaze out at the midnight quiet camp. An occasional guard strolled passed, bowing to him before he waved them off impatiently. He huffed and flopped down on the bed, watching the faint luminance of the moon filter through the thick tent fabric. 

He jerked up at the rustling of the tent flap and relief brightened his mood as he saw Logan make his way in. The relief was quickly doused with ice cold dread at the way Logan looked, hair a ragged mess, circles under his eyes so dark they could rival Virgil, bruises and scrapes littering his long limbs. 

“Where the hell were you?” Roman burst out, concern and worry and bittersweet relief forming a toxic mixture in the back of his throat. 

Logan’s expression shuttered close and he drew his arms around himself defensively. “Leading your army, that’s what I was doing,” he hissed out.

“No you weren’t! You disobeyed orders again, you put yourself and our soldiers in danger.”

Logan looked past Roman, his expression blank and unreadable. “Of course, and the people we tried to help, what about them?”

Roman sighed in frustration, running his hand through his hair. “I know Lo, I know it sucks, but people are always going to get hurt. And you can’t just run out there and pretend you know better than everyone else.”

“Do you think,” Logan murmured softly, eyes still glued to where a patch of crass crept in under the walls of the tent, “that maybe we’re not the ones in the right here?” 

Roman stiffened. “I’m trying to protect my kingdom. Don’t you dare try and tell me that's wrong.”

Logan finally looked back at him, those deep, night dark eyes staring into him. “How many people have been killed in your meaningless quest of stubborness and glory, how many more people are going to lose their homes and their children? That’s your kingdom, not those spoiled nobles in their pretty palaces.”

“And what do you suggest I do then?” Roman hissed back venomously, “Just let those invaders in? So that they can lock us up in cells or behead us? Is that really what you want?”

“Maybe it is,” Logan whispered, mournful eyes boring into Roman’s. He turned on his heels and walked out the tent, coat flaring behind him, hair spilling past his shoulders like the pitch black river of Styx.

It was the last time they were together in their shared tent. An abrupt end to the cold nights they spent curled up so tight together they could barely breathe. An abrupt ending to the lazy mornings when Logan would card a hand through Roman’s hair as he read, and Roman would sleep as long as he possibly could. An abrupt end to Logan pressing kisses all over Roman’s body and telling him he was beautiful. 

Roman tried not to stare at his slender hands as they pointed out places on maps. Tried not to quail under that sharp, piercing gaze as it swept over him, barely giving him a second glance before he snapped out an order that ended up ignored. They had all noticed Logan wasn’t in good graces with the prince anymore and it seemed all they had been waiting for to right out shun and scorn him.

Every day, Roman could see the lines in Logan’s shoulder tense more, his face harden and the curious gleam to his eyes dull. 

Roman turned away every time, too much of a coward to face him.

And one day, he didn’t see him at all. Not at the meetings, not anywhere in the camp. He asked around, trying not to appear as worried as he was and the others just shrugged, refusing to meet his eye.

His bed was stripped bare from the tent he had been sharing with others, all his possessions presumably packed away and taken with him. 

Roman tried not to show his worries. Logan was a grown man after all, and he had made his position here perfectly clear. He could handle himself. 

But it didn’t stop Roman from missing his eyes and his careful touch and soothing voice. He wished things had gone differently, but he knew that one fight was merely the match that lit the fuse already soaked in kerosine. Merely the spark to set off the feelings Logan had been hiding away for so long. 

And after seeing how the others treated him, Roman couldn’t really fault him for it.

Roman slipped out of the camp, as the heavy monsoon rains gentled into a soft drizzle, the warmth of the afternoon turning the night foggy. Logan’s letter sat tucked in his pocket, held near to his heart, which was beating in a mixture of hope and apprehension. It had been four months, four months since Logan had stormed out of their tent, leaving Roman with an empty bed and an empty heart. He walked silently through the forest, the occasional leaf crunching underfoot as around him the canopy rustled from the rain it caught. He followed the familiar path from memory alone, a soft smile curling his lips as he remembered sneaking out at midnight to go watch the stars with Logan. 

He stepped into that familiar clearing, looking up at the sky in hopes he would spot some of the stars Logan had pointed out for him, but all he saw were the thick grey clouds. His eyes drifted down and he saw Logan, standing in the middle of the clearing, one single lantern casting a circle of light around him, his hair misted with rain. He brushed his glasses dry with the sleeves of his coat and placed them back on his nose. 

Roman walked up to him, unsure why Logan had asked him to come here and scared of what he would say. Logan watched him come, face blank and expressionless.

“Roman,” he greeted, and where once his name had sounded warm and fond on those lips, it now sounded cool and cordial.

“Logan,” Roman replied, and he couldn’t hide the hope in his voice, the hope that this would be an apology, that everything could go back to the way it had been.

“I’m here with an offer,” Logan said, his words formal and serious, so unlike the nicknames and jokes they used to share. “The people are tired of the war. It has only brought them pain and loss. I ask you to end it, give in now and you shall not be harmed. You and your court shall be safe and more capable rulers shall take over the kingdom.”

Roman’s heart froze at those words, uttered so matter of fact. As if the years of his life, the effort and pain he had put into winning this war and keeping his kingdom safe meant nothing. As if he was the one in the wrong here.

He had come here to hear Logan’s apology. He had expected him to admit how much he missed him and that he was wrong and then he would have taken Logan into his arms and everything could have been right again. 

But no, here he stood, resolute, so self assured and infuriating. 

A breeze blew past and the lapels of Logan’s coat lifted, revealing the crest proudly emblazoned on the flags of their enemies, the crest that Roman had been taught to hate. Fury filled him at the sight.

“You’re with them,” he growled, grabbing the coat and displaying the crest for all the world to see. The forest around them didn’t seem impressed. 

“I’m on the side with the least blood on their hands,” Logan said calmly, pushing his glasses further up his nose, “Which you have never been.”

Roman shook his head. “You’re working with the enemy. I trusted you!” His fist tightened on the thick wool fabric.

“Roman please,” Logan said softly, emotion filtering into his voice for the first time, “You’ve been taught by everyone around you that this is what you have to do, that this is your birthright, but they’re wrong. You can choose your own destiny.”

He drew himself up to his full height, looming over Roman. “Take the offer and we can leave this kingdom together. We can build our own life.”

Roman shook his head. “No,” he choked out as tears welled up in his eyes, “No! you’re just… You’re trying to trick me. You never loved me or you wouldn’t do this.”

“Roman,” Logan said gently, cloying sympathy in his voice and Roman could only feel that burning, corrosive rage in his gut, his mouth tasted sour and he could barely see through his anger. Logan gasped suddenly and stumbled back a few steps, his eyes widening in shock and betrayal.

Roman let go of his coat and looked down, his mind registering the ornate handle of a familiar knife, and blood pooling on the navy vest. He looked up, mouth opening and closing mutely, as if Logan could explain. As if he could tell him why there was a knife in Logan’s gut. Why was it his knife. Plunged in so deep only the hilt still showed.

“No,” Roman whispered as Logan sank to the ground, a high keen tearing itself from his lips.  

He breathed in raggedly, hands curling on the forest floor, dirt staining those slender hands. He looked up at Roman, eyes pleading, scared. 

“Please,” he choked and Roman backed away as he reached out a hand to him, reaching for anything that could save him. Blood pooled around his body, the heavy wool of his coat darkening almost imperceptibly as the leaves around him turned red. “Roman,” he rasped and Roman had never heard Logan sound afraid like that.

He kneeled down, dirt muddying his pants and reached out to take Logan’s hand. He pulled away at how cold his skin was. 

“You betrayed me,” he whispered and Logan only continued breathing those ragged, gasping breaths, eyes staring into the middle distance. “It’s not my fault,” he said, because it couldn’t be. Logan was wrong. Logan had betrayed him.

But then why did it hurt so much?

“You never loved me!” Roman burst out. “Come on, just say something! Don’t just lie there!” He yelled because Logan was never this quiet. He always had something smart and stuck up to say. 

“Say something,” Roman pleaded and Logan shuddered, eyes glazed over as they stared up at the sky. 

Roman looked up, to a sky as dark and cloudy as Logan’s eyes. A sky that once was filled with stars and was now flat and empty.

“Logan?” he whispered softly, reaching out to take his hand. Logan didn’t react, he just stared up at that empty sky and Roman felt an ache spread in his chest as he curled his fingers around Logan’s palm, brushing off the dirt.

[firebirdsdaughter]

I'm honestly not too shocked that Aruto is going to work together Gai now. He always rubbed me the wrong way when it came to his views about Humagears, esp his reaction to Raiden & Subaru. That was a huge red flag for me. Also, if he's really so concerned about the well-being of Humagears, then he should offer counseling for the destroyed & revived Humagears to deal with the trauma. But I guess that would be too much to ask. As long as they serve humans who cares about Humagears' feelings.

I def agree w/ you, he’s rubbed me the wrong way in many of the same ways.

It’s hard to believe he sees HumaGear as people when he’s all pleased w/ Raiden talking about how he’ll be decommissioned soon and even calling the two of them ‘just like real brothers.’

You know, like he keeps saying Horobi is ‘trying to be like Jin’s father.’

And don’t even get me started on ‘a caring brother can’t be a spy,’ ‘if only you had been different,’ ‘why did you hurt Izu?’ ‘I’ve never treated them differently’…

AUGH.

To me, Aruto’s ‘dream’ can be summed up in a line from a song that was cut from Frozen (ya’ll thought I’d forgotten about this, didn’t you, but no) that goes ‘It’ll be just like it was, except for we’ll be best friends.’

This got long, so I’m cutting it here. Or. I’m trying to. 

He doesn’t see HumaGear as equal to people, he just wants them to stay right where they are, and ‘be happy’ there. ‘Good’ HumaGear are the ones whose development is convenient for humans. Raiden was ‘good’ when he saw no problem dying bc his ‘purpose was served,’ Naki was ‘good’ when they just wanted to support other HumaGear’s dreams as long as they were steered towards HumaGear w/ dreams of benefiting humanity, Jin is ‘good’ now bc he’s not trying to get HumaGear away from serving humans anymore and is also willing to kill his own father or due himself to do something that will benefit humans. The morality of the show has always been very much centred around humans, how HumaGear benefit humans, and HumaGear are expected to be these perfect little angels who exist to help humans and never think of themselves. Horobi is ‘bad’ bc he has resentment towards humans and has been so deeply under the Ark’s control for so long that he can’t think outside of her (esp not after being possessed) so obviously he doesn’t ‘want’ to be ‘change.’

I said it in the tags of my other post, but there’s something wrong w/ the picture when you’re holding a literally mind controlled AI who hasn’t had any concept of free will or self thought in his entire life aside from small snatches that were quickly stomped out, more accountable than a human w/ full autonomy and knowledge and power who deliberately did things that caused death and harm (and shot someone in the head). It’s not a good message. I’m supposed to feel bad for Gai bc he’s ‘sad,’ but Horobi deserves to die? I’m sorry, what?

The message has very much been ‘humans are special special and HumaGear are expendable/need to be carefully moulded into a ‘singularity’ that’s at the least convenient for humans.’ ‘Good’ HumaGear aspire only to properly serve their humans, to be like them, they are pure and angelic creatures who never feel anything ‘negative,’ and if they do, they need to be purged.

I could rant myself in circles about this for ages. I think for me, the really glaring example is Aruto’s treatment of Jin, a relationship that could have been an interesting learning experience for both of them (though, honestly, I was also hoping to see Fuwa also help Aruto realise the issues w/ his attitude, bc as he started coming down from his prejudice and aggression, Fuwa actually treated HumaGear more like equals than Aruto did, one of the many things I loved about him and Horobi as a pair), but instead ends up being a glaring example of Aruto’s… Whatever.

So Horobi has his first moment of clarity and genuinely fears for Jin, so the Ark steps in and ‘tells’ him to protect his son, so he does and it hurt, and Jin is hysterical. Izu proceeds to walk right up to the still-transformed, clearly emotionally volatile and very uninjured Jin, and announce w/ a smile that Horobi has been defeated. Jin, hysterical and lost, reacts in the only way he knows how, violently, which she should have bloody seen coming, wth. But then, Aruto is demanding to know ‘why did you hurt Izu’ like she did nothing wrong and Jin just attacked her randomly (which was a thing that could have happened and would have made his emotions make mire sense, Jin lashing out at Izu as ‘revenge’ for Horobi), and then Jin gets treated like the total bad guy. Then, on top of that, Aruto finds out during the fight that Jin doesn’t actually know what’s going on, he’s just been raised into this. Instead of immediately trying to change tactics and reason w/ him, Aruto just spews his ‘I want HumaGear and humans to smile together’ line (what does that even mean?), and when Jin rejects that, Aruto just… Gives up and says ‘if only you had been different.’ doesn’t try to prompt Jin to think about what Jin wants, what Jin is feeling, doesn’t bother to try to find out why Jin is so hysterical. It gets even worse when he quickly gains the firepower advantage and learns that Izu will be totally fine, but he still doesn’t bother trying anything else. He just kills Jin, bc… What? Jin didn’t immediately bow to his ‘love’ for HumaGear? Of course once sentence wasn’t gonna do it, he just watched humans kill his father! Aruto didn’t need to kill Jin at all, it would have been easy to disable him—alternatively, if they really wanted Jin to go down there, there were ways to do it that didn’t make it come off as Aruto quickly erasing a HumaGear for having any negative feelings or resentment towards humans, esp when you follow it w/ a scene of him and Izu being all pleased about other HumaGear ‘behaving’ themselves, and then never mention Jin again.

Fast forward, and when Jin comes back talking about wanting to free HumaGear from humans… Aruto actually asks him what he wants, finally? Then Aruto gets the boot from Hiden and decides to go to Jin for help. This should be a turning point where Jin get to properly confront Aruto about what happened and Aruto reflects on what he did, but no. Jin gets to shout a little, but then Aruto claims he never treated humans and HumaGear differently and says ‘I watched my HumaGear dad die’ and Jin just… Says nothing? doesn’t shoot back w/, ‘so did I, humans killed him.’ Then they get interrupted and Jin runs off… Only to… Rescue Izu later? But then after he does he… Grabs her hand and runs away and tries to convince her to be free? After… Literally buying his father time to reconnect to the Ark? And this is Izu? Who he stabbed? Okay… Anyway, then we have more stuff w/ poor connotations of Jin saying he ‘learned something’ from Aruto killing him and Izu ‘choosing’ to keep being Aruto’s secretary like a ‘good’ little HumaGear (her liking him and wanting to stay on his side would be one thing, but this… Esp w/ him claiming that he thought she should choose, going by his later insistence that Jin can’t take G-Pen bc he’s a human’s ‘partner’), and only then does he take a bullet for her. This apparently means something to Jin, although I feel like the implications of ‘she’s worth protecting bc she decided to keep serving humans and I killed you bc you didn’t want to do that’ should not have been lost on him (also wtf did Jin start caring about Izu?). The we have the next ep w/ aforementioned G-Pen incident which for some reason Aruto defending another HumaGear choosing to serve humans makes Jin decide to ‘believe in his dream’ or whatever. But then later the Raiden scene makes it seem like Jin was playing along bc that conversation w/ Horobi about HumaGear needing guidance to break free gave him an idea or something, I dunno, but naturally Aruto reacts like this is some huge betrayal, despite the fact that they hardly have any relationship—okay, so this friendship is something Aruto made up in his head, given his character, and apparent assumptions that all HumaGear actually adore humans, that makes sense. That could work. But then episode thirty fucking six happens. Jin apparently cares more for Yaiba, a human he’s barely interacted w/ who had yet to show any sign of no longer considering HumaGear to be tools, who had previously represented all the things Jin hated about them, then his own father. Acts all protective of her, throws himself in as a shield for her, moons about while she’s in the hospital. Then we learn he decided he trusted her (?????) enough to conspire w/ her to… Use his own father as a sacrifice to kill the Ark. Aruto seems to be more worried about Horobi, but merely yells a bit about how Horobi should ‘remember who he is by now.’ Come ep 37, Jin fucking takes a hit for miss perfect HumaGear Izu (note: aside from her grabbing the idiot ball in ep 15, my annoyance w/ Izu isn’t really something she as a character has done, it’s the way they’ve written her as the ‘pinnacle of ‘good’ HumaGear for her devotion to her human’), and tells Aruto to leave. Now that Jin is behaving in a way that benefits/is convenient for humans, though, Aruto is a like ‘oh, we totally were best buds, I was right!’ and is so worried and distressed about him, forgetting Horobi (who is so ‘bad’ for not being able to break through more than a decade of mind control! forget him, Jin must be saved!). Then we have that incredibly forced scene in 38 where Aruto tries to ‘get through to Jin’ and Jin ‘breaks through the Ark’s control bc of Aruto’ (see my draft horse pack on a shetland pony analogy) and ‘tells Aruto to kill him!’ which continues in to this ep. In which we also have… Gai. Who Aruto quickly puts effort into ‘reasoning w/’ and ‘showing the light’ bc ‘oh no he had a bad childhood’… Okay, but… You killed Jin for that, and he literally didn’t understand what he was doing. Gai had full autonomy and knowledge of his actions. People were hurt bc of both of their actions, but it’s Gai who gets a big speech and Jin who gets blown up. I said it back when it happened. If Jin had been human? I bet they would have made Aruto approach that much differently.

The fact that Aruto is willing to do all that for Gai but killed Jin, and only now considers Jin worth any effort bc Jin is behaving in a way that benefits/is convenient for humans even at the expense of HumaGear (being willing to sacrifice Horobi, even himself, to stop the Ark, while that goal is technically ultimately noble, the context gives a bad connotation), and not trying to talk HumaGear out of being subservient to humans and telling them to think for themselves, or wanting to revive a HumaGear that Aruto was content to leave deactivated bc he didn’t have a ‘use’… But Horobi only gets a few shouts and then ditched bc he ‘won’t listen’… Leaves a really bad impression.

[consumptive-sphinx]

I, T (VC), W for the ask meme?

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms; if so, which and why

There are a number of things I like but I absolutely refuse to participate in tumblr fandom in any significant way (notably Disney Descendants -- the movies are good fun and have phenomenal characterization, the fandom isn’t even particularly full of drama afaict, I just am not going to subject myself to the endless bad characterization and harry/reader imagines); there are much fewer that tumblr has caused me to stop liking entirely. Generally when tumblr ruins a fandom for me, it ruins it by making me go “....okay, never touching that” rather than by making me go “I don’t like this anymore,” and I’ve definitely left fandoms but in every case I can think of I’m pretty sure my interest would have waned with or without tumblr’s involvement. I guess it’s kind of hard to tell if my changed opinions about Harry Potter are because of tumblr or because I grew up but they’re shaped a lot more like “this is a fun world to play in and interesting characters to play with” than “I like these books” and this is a significant change from when I joined tumblr? 

tl;dr: somewhere in the crossroads of “not really” and “idk maybe” 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything) 

So the thing about me and headcanons is that in like 90% of cases, I don’t so much do hard and fast headcanons as a grab-bag of possibilities some of which are mutually exclusive. I do have hard and fast headcanons in some fandoms -- you are not going to convince me that Mordred, Galahad, or Jonathan Sims are not neuroweird, and I have planted my flag firmly in a Tom-Haan-related hill that is actually just a bunch of dirt I piled up -- but for the most part headcanons are, for me at least, a very fluid thing. 

THAT BEING SAID: Lestat quotes Shakespeare lines that sound applicable out of context but when taken in context mean something completely different, and does not realize he’s doing this because his reading comprehension is not as good as he thinks it is. Lestat lied in TVL a whole lot more than Louis did in IWTV. Louis is a strong person Anne Rice just has a shitty definition of strength. Armand internalized 100% of his trauma, identifies as non-traumatized, and has never considered the concept that maybe being raped was bad for him. 

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

hoooooo boy. okay. so. does this mean 5 kinks total or 5 kinks per ship? idk i’m going with 5 kinks per ship because it lets me ramble and ironically i am way ramblier when on adhd meds than when off them. 

galadred (galahad/mordred) - people figuring out kink all on their own without an established framework to work with. self-harm where it’s sort of ambiguous whether it’s also sexual masochism. feelings and opinions about personhood and destiny and religion, is that a kink, whatever it’s a kink now because i said so. queering the sex/not sex binary. crazy traumatized people trying their best. 

jon/michael - escheresque geometry. dubcon dubcon dubcon, jon should always be getting dubconned, one of the central themes of the magnus archives is jon getting dubconned and i gotta say kit and sofia and kel and jade are among the only people who really deliver. knife hands and the associated knifeplay potential. bleeding very prettily and very confusingly. metaphors that aren’t. 

nolodhros (fingolfin/maedhros) - politics. sneaking around to hide your relationship. ominous foreshadowing of tragedy to come, even in the sweet moments. swords. constant half-serious power plays about who tops. 

marlevsha (lev/marlo/sasha) - internalized homophobia. size differences. confusingcon, which is different from dubcon but frequently overlaps with it. marlo’s very specific flavor of demisexuality. protectiveness. 

uma/mal (really i like this best when it’s one-sided but like still) - politics. hatefucking. jealousy, specifically uma wanting what mal has. uma wildly projecting all over mal. uma being INCREDIBLY in denial. 

[pertinax--loculos]

‘Dash’

So, for funsies I went through @yourocsbackstory to try to get myself in the writing mood again. This is what happened. I stopped at ‘Skills’ cuz I’ve already spoiled enough if you read close enough haha.

Come meet Dash.

Introduction

My name is Dash.

Or, well, it’s not really. That’s what everyone calls me. It circumvents the pain that comes with my first name, the questions that come from my last.

The knowledge that comes from my second.

I thought my life was pretty much mapped out from here. There was the beginning, that I barely remember. The next chapter, that I wish I could forget. The third, the honeymoon. And then now; not the best, far from the worst, an existence I was fairly certain I’d be able to bear, at least until the drugs or the alcohol overwhelmed me and my body gave out and I’d be buried in an unmarked plot under a false name with maybe three people to mourn me. If I was lucky.

Then that idiot fundie wandered into my life.

The Church is a fucking blight on society, the worst thing that’s happened since organised religion first got a foothold within civilised communities. It’s like they took all of the parts that made people unwilling to admit they were Christian in intelligent company and emphasised their importance until they were the only things that mattered.

To say nothing of what they think of the brainbent.

But unfortunately, what the old movies and books used to say is accurate. Give people a common enemy and they’ll unite under almost any flag.

The brainbent weren’t an enemy. But you consider the prospect of the barista at your local coffee place potentially being able to tell the future, or to read fucking minds, and tell me you would’ve stood against the Church.

I’m sure you will.

You’re lying.

Which is why Raleigh was such a surprise.

The Partners focus on the commoners, on people who know what the Church is about but haven’t been indoctrinated since birth. Members are basically written off as a lost cause. Even if, somehow, that person would’ve been a supporter if they’d been born in the right place, it’s not worth trying to convince them after years and years of brainwashing. They learn to suppress any thoughts, any opinions, that don’t jive with the company line. Trying to tell them otherwise is useless.

Which is why I don’t.

And still he came back.

I mean, Alec is probably right. He normally is. Odds are I’m being an idiot by even considering that this guy may be open-minded enough to accept that people exist that don’t believe the same as he does.

(And that’s not even going into all the other fucked-up facets of my existence.)

But for some reason, I’m willing to take that chance.

Even if it kills me.

Family I

There was always the memory of the Others.

It wasn’t a clear comparison; it wasn’t like he could look at Now and realise that it was different to Then. It was more like some weird false memory from early childhood buried deep within someone; a recollection of a room full of glass when apparently it had been an open-air market. A jar filled with blue that no one else remembered.

A loving mother and father. A melody without words.

There were other hints, of course. They never raised a hand at the child they insisted was his brother. They refused to acknowledge his grasp of genetics and never gave an explanation for the colour of his eyes. When he woke screaming for a mother he knew he no longer had the false one pretended, but she never offered the glass of milk, never pulled him onto her lap and stroked his hair and sung that song until he drifted off into gentler dreams.

Things got worse and worse as he got older. The more he could articulate the problems he had with the narrative they fed him the worse the punishments got. The first time he’d mentioned having another, a different, father they’d been too taken aback to respond; the reaction the second time had ensured he’d never bought it up again.

Every achievement, every failure, always framed within what he wasn’t and what he’d lost, what he lacked and how he disappointed.

One day, teenaged and trying to squirm his way into their good graces, he’d heard his brother mentioning the girl in class. He’d piped up as well, after seeing their indulgent responses, letting them know that there was someone in his class too, a boy who’d caught his eye. He’d been banned from school for a week after that.

His father told him people would ask questions about the bruises.

 Friends

He’d assumed that the confession that the intimacy bought him no pleasure would be enough to make her disappear. He’d lost acquaintances for less, many times before.

So when she turned up on his doorstep three days later he stopped, stunned, with the door open.

She raised her eyebrows at him. “Letting in the cold?”

It was nearly a hundred degrees outside, and he was already sweating through the long-sleeved shirt he’d pulled on to open the door. He stepped back to let her in, still speechless, and followed her as she walked confidently through the rooms to his favourite.

He swallowed a few pills just for something to do. It was a stupid idea, his supply was already running low, but he hoped the kick would help him through whatever conversation was to follow.

She watched, her brows pulled together in disapproval, but didn’t break the silence.

“What do you want?” he said finally, his voice too rough, too apprehensive. He’d told her he couldn’t do it anymore, but he knew deep within himself that if she offered enough…

She shrugged, her face clearing. “I’m of the opinion that no one should be alone, today of all days.”

Dash just stared at her, utterly uncomprehending.

“Y’know,” she said, and then raised her eyebrows a little when his expression made it clear he didn’t, “Christmas?”

Oh, fuck, of course. He’d known the date was approaching but it meant less than nothing to him, except for the fact that most of the shops were closed. He really shouldn’t have had those pills, not if he was gonna have to last another two days before he could restock.

She kicked her legs out in front of her as she leaned back against the wall, eyes roving the spartan room. “So you got a tv or what?”

Which was how they ended up sprawled on his bed, fully clothed and above the covers, picking at the leftovers of a pizza he’d had in the fridge while a tiny voice in the back of his head insisted that this was what friends actually were.

 Education

He accepted the envelope with a sinking feeling. He knew what the letter inside was going to say.

Miss Phillips gave him an encouraging smile all the same.

“I know you struggle in some classes,” she said kindly. “But you really do excel in others. And really, all you need is a little extra help in English and I think you’ll be doing fine. I’ve explained that to your parents in your report.”

Like that’s gonna fucking help, Dash thought, but all he did was smile and nod. It wasn’t her fault he was stupid. It was his. He’d been told that many times.

He walked to his locker and gathered his things slowly. He could already hear his brother crowing in his ear, with his perfect scores and better comments. If he didn’t know better he’d think that the teachers were aware of the identify of their father and tailored their comments to suit.

But if that was the case why did they still throw him under the bus?

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to learn. He did, and he loved the stories, loved listening to what happened and even analysing why the author might have put certain characters and phrases in certain parts and why. But expressing that through writing was beyond him. Understanding why or where a comma went or why through was spelled o-u-g-h but throw was spelled o-w sent his head into a spin and there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing his teachers could do about it either, as they spent their time with those that were better, those who had a right to their last names instead of a tenuous and fluctuating claim.

Mr Carr, in the workshop, was astonished by him. Said he was among the best students he’d ever had, was amazed by his ability with electronics and the way he could take apart and put together components without ever glancing at the instructions. He said he was a natural, that if he wanted he could certainly go places, because there was always a need for someone to fix those things that were broken.

But his parents assured him that he was what was broken, and the grades sent him into the dark. They never even read Mr Carr’s report.

 Family II

Family had always been a dirty word.

He was caught in a weird sort of limbo; there was that which he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to bring up, and then that which was current but which he was not really a part of. Intellectually, academically, he knew what a family was. Hell, even from observation he knew what a family was. If he took a step back, removed himself from the equation and simply watched Father and Mother and Brother interact, then he knew what a family was supposed to be.

But try to impose himself upon that and he was reprimanded, reminded that he was not a part of it, that the family he might’ve been a part of no longer existed, that he was Other, that he was Alien and unwanted and his duty was only to disappear and to cause no more problems than he already had.

So when he met his family he was overwhelmed.

They walked through the door and were suffocated in affection, enough that Dash had to get out of there; he found him later, hidden in the garden, his face concerned.

“We were wondering where you’d got to,” he said, quietly, gently, as he always did.

“They don’t need me there,” Dash replied.

His eyebrows tugged together in the beginning of a frown. “Maybe not, but we want you there.”

Dash’s laugh was bitter, a little too manic. “No you don’t.”

It took a while – way too long, he should’ve been back with his family – to coax Dash out of the greenery and into the bulk of the backyard. Waiting there was an elderly woman, older than anyone Dash had had reason to interact with.

“This him?” she’d said, but before either of them could react she’d grabbed Dash’s hand and yanked him forward.

Dash couldn’t help but flinch. It didn’t appear to affect her. Her eyes, bright and the same colour as his, searched his face.

“Ah, yes, very good,” she said. Dash glanced around wildly but he was just standing there, something that might’ve been embarrassment pinking his cheeks.

“Are you satisfied now?” he said.

The old woman grinned at him over Dash’s shoulder.

“Yes,” she said. Dash felt his fingers on his elbow; just before he towed Dash back into the anonymity of the rest of the garden they heard her speak again.

“I see what you say about his eyes.”

 Rivals

Fuck.

Dash had managed to avoid this dick for nigh on two months. Why the hell he was encountering him now, just as the oxy started to kick and make him loose and easy and happy, was anyone’s guess.

Probably the Members would say it was god’s work. Dash was pretty sure it was a punishment.

The guy stalked up to him, characteristic scowl twisting his features. He had to be six inches taller than Dash, but he didn’t back down.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he growled.

Dash stared into his dark eyes, tossing up a number of responses. Sarcastic, sardonic, flippant, honest; none of them seemed quite right.

He went with combative, in the end.

“I heard you’d be here,” he said, conversational. “Figured I might take the chance to learn your name.”

The guy’s eyes narrowed. They were close enough that Dash could feel his breath on his face.

“What the hell would you need that for?” he said. “Seeing as you’re not supposed to be here, and all.”

Dash twitched his shoulders in a shrug. “Yeah, well. Sorry, but I’m not really good at taking orders.”

Something flickered behind the guy’s eyes, something that might have been amusement. “I get the feeling that you’re more likely to do the opposite of what the orders might suggest.”

Dash caught his eyes again and raised an eyebrow. “Wow. It’s almost like you know me.”

Pause. The guy’s breathing had evened out, but he hadn’t moved away.

“Are we having, like, a civil conversation right now?” he said.

Dash quirked his eyebrow again. “Certainly seems that way.”

Another couple of beats. “Is it just me, or does there seem to be an extraordinary amount of sexual tension involved?”

Dash couldn’t stop the grin from tugging at his lips, even as he leaned in closer.

“Oh,” he said quietly. “It’s not just you.”

 First Love

Despite the mistake of telling Father about him, Dash kept watching him.

Over the week it took for the bruises to fade he thought about him. When he first returned to school, his was the first face he looked for.

He didn’t seriously think it would lead to anything. How could it, given what everyone believed? But Connor was new to the city, and he wasn’t involved with the Church. That much Dash had figured out through rumour and innuendo. And he was left alone, during recess and lunch, all of the Members turning their noses up at him, to the point where Dash wondered why on earth his parents had sent him to this private school. After all, there were schools for commoners. They weren’t as good, but that was the sacrifice people made.

Not Connor’s parents, apparently.

And he was the only one who didn’t conceal his staring at Dash’s fading bruises.

He’d been staring beforehand, of course. That was what had made Dash first mention him to Father, the mistake that had led to him realising that he wasn’t the same as his brother and never would be. But it was he alone that continued to stare even after Dash’s absence. The others seemed to have been told not to.

Not Connor.

Dash cornered him after school one day, halfway across the green in the front of the school. Connor looked surprised but not alarmed, moving easily backwards as Dash stalked towards him. His ease crackled against Dash’s already strained nerves and he had to viciously curb the instinct to lash out, his learned impulse to beat down anything that stood against what he was trying to do.

They stopped when Connor’s back hit the wall of the gym. Dash was mere inches from his face, trying his best to channel the disgust and rage he’d seen so often on Father’s face.

“Why do you keep staring at me?” he demanded.

Connor hadn’t flinched like Dash would’ve under the violence of the question.

“I’m worried,” was all he said.

That threw Dash for a loop. Why the fuck would anybody be worried about him?

“You’re lying,” he said, suspiciously.

Connor raised his eyebrows. “Why would I do that?”

Dash hesitated for a couple of seconds, made his voice even more strident to make up for it. “Because you’re trying to get me to admit it!”

“Admit what?”

Connor’s voice was still gentle, questioning without prying, and Dash found himself whirling away from him, knotting his fingers in his hair and pulling, focusing on the burn on his scalp and not on Connor’s placid, knowing words.

The touch on his elbow was foreign in its gentleness. “Whatever they’ve told you,” he murmured, barely audible over the shouts reverberating in Dash’s ears, “They’re wrong.”

When Dash’s fingers found his he felt like he was home for the first time he could remember.

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Positive (Sebastian Stan x You)

Characters: Sebastian x You

Summary: Y/N is married to Sebastian and have been trying to conceive a baby. You’ve been trying the best you can until you were left asking yourself that maybe you were the problem. Until one day, your prayers have been answered.

Warnings: Sweetness, too much sweetness that you’ll have cavities. 😍

Words: 2,028

A/N: ANOTHER UPDATE! AYEAYAYAYA! I was tempted to write something NSFW in this. But, then I decided to make it wholesome and sweet instead. I might have wrong grammars, tater tots because english isn’t my mother tongue. I hope y'all will understand if ever you read grammar errors or such.

***

“I think I’m the problem, Seb.”

“No.” Sebastian breathed through the phone. The line going quiet, hearing only his breathing. He was in the middle of shooting another movie, and having his break time.

You, on the other hand have been thinking a lot at home. Negative thoughts couldn’t be stopped once you were left alone in your home. Grasping in the lost feeling that something was missing in the household, and the answer to that was children. You needed to conceive children.

Sebastian and Y/N have been married for five years now. Seeing everyone around them having babies wasn’t helping her, it was just making her feel sad and worried that maybe..just maybe it was all because of her. Especially with Sebastian who have been more understanding and thrilled for her to have his babies by now.

“What if it’s me, Y/N?” His voice began to turn quieter. Breath slow and shaky through the phone. “What if i’m the problem? We’ve been trying for years now, you’ve even had your check-up and the doctors said you were healthy.. I think i’m the one who needs to be checked,”

You felt your heart tighten with the need to comfort your worried husband. There was nothing wrong with him, you know there wasn’t. Maybe it wasn’t just your time, maybe you both should give it another try. “Baby, no. No. I know it’s not you,” You comforted, biting your lip apprehensively. Sebastian gave a faded hum, if your attention wasn’t on the phone, you wouldn’t have heard him. “Let’s try..again. Remember the short quote that people have been saying?”

“Never say die?”

“Never give up?”

You both gave a breathy laugh through the phone, they were two different words but held one thought and shared one feeling. Faith. Hope.

So, you tried and tried till your strong hopes could falter. There was a tiny dot of hope left in you, to the both of you…

Huffs of breath came out of your mouths, shaky, tired breaths. Sebastian’s sweaty, warm forehead on yours as he was laying on top of you. Eyes closed and his arms on either side, you tenderly reached his face, cupping his sharp, scruffy jaw with a hand and tenderly caressing him with the thumb of your hand. No words can be spoken after a toiled night full of love. Just feeling in each other’s arms was enough. He was enough.

“Don’t give up on me,” He breathily sighed against your lips, eyes now opened and fully filled with desperation and love. Sebastian was in the midst of accepting the fact that maybe you both weren’t destined to have a baby. He have been thinking that maybe you were enough. You were, and having you would make him happy and contented with the rest of his life, even if it means that you both won’t be having little clones running around the house.

“I love you,” He whispered before giving you an eskimo kiss. Eyes shut and just appreciating the shared moment. Your lips turned into a smile, giving a soft nod in agreement. “And I,” You tenderly kissed his pointy nose before continuing, your heart beating loudly against your chest, a wave of overwhelming love surrounding you both, “–love you more than anything in this world, Sebastian. I would never give up on you just because we couldn’t..couldn’t conceive a baby,”

“We could always adopt a child, or if you don’t want to–” You were cut-off when Sebastian suddenly piped in, “Why didn’t I ever thought of that?” He spoke more to himself, “But, I do. I’m totally in for it. If this one last try won’t make us have a baby, then we’ll need to,”

Your hands slowly travelled towards his soft, dark locks. Gently dragging your fingers in his hair, making Sebastian’s heart swell in affection, completely loving the need to touch him. “Let’s talk about this when the time comes, but as of now. I just wanna say that..You’re enough for me, you’re completely enough for me.”

“And you are for me too, Y/N.”

Then the days went on for the married couple. You were both having a normal day, just casually spending the rest of the afternoon in each others arms. Considering that this day should be spent peacefully and without any interruptions, both phones turned off so nobody can disturb them. Y/N and Sebastian have been arguing about what to eat. Sebastian wanted nothing more than a box of pizza and Y/N wanted something different…something she couldn’t decipher.

“You want me to cook??” Sebastian uttered oh so surprised, pointing to himself as he eyed you skeptically. He placed his hand on his cleft chin, slowly caressing his scruffy jaw in habit, lost in his circle of thoughts. “But, I don’t even know how to cook?”

You narrowed your eyes on him, huffing out your cheeks in frustration. “Don’t act like I never read facts about you in google,” With both of your hands on your hips, you kept your head up high. “I’ve read that you know how to cook spaghetti bolognese! Don’t lie to me, Stan!”

Was it the hormones that was making you act what you were saying today? you only wanted nothing more than to eat food made by his pretty, sculpted, manly hands. Staring at Sebastian’s hands have been a habit of yours weeks ago. You couldn’t help but keep on holding it when you got the chance, even when you sleep..

“W-What? We could just order something–”

“But, I want my food made by you!”

Sebastian stared straight at you, his baby blues looking defeated, raising the white flag in the back of his mind. That’s what his sweetheart wanted, then that’s what she gets. “Alright, alright. I’ll..I’ll try my best. Just don’t blame me when you’ll end up vomiting in the middle of the night,”

You clapped enthusiastically, and cheered. “Yay! Now, get to work. I’m damn starving,”

Sebastian gave you a hearty smile, nervously chuckling. “Yes, Ma-am!” Before he turned his back around on you and began getting the ingredients out of the fridge.

Y/N kept admiring her husband, she kept her eyes on him the whole time. Sebastian knew he was being watched, he was worried she’ll be starting to bore holes in him. Sebastian couldn’t help but notice how she intensely stared at his hands that was chopping onions in front of her. He observed how her eyes kept her attention on his hands the whole week, how she held it all the time, how she was fond of it even at night and it was beginning to grow weird.

“Y/N? Is there something wrong with my hands?” Sebastian nonchalantly talked, chopping white onions in front of him. Every slice of the knife hitting the cutting board made the kitchen echo.

You sat more comfortably on the stool, placing your elbows on the table and a hand on your chin, giving Sebastian a look that was so pure and innocent. “I..” There was a pause, “I…don’t know, it’s just so pretty and…pretty…so..pretty..” you answered like you were lost in this world.

Small voices have been yelling at the back of Y/N’s mind. She was having a hunch as to why she was acting so weird. It was probably a hunch that could break your hopes down again, yet it wouldn’t hurt less if she would give it another shot. Pain never ceases to be felt in this world we were in. Pain is what gives people a lesson. It gives drama and color in our life.

“I gotta pee,” Y/N announced, hopping off her seat, and quickly sprinting towards the bathroom in the first floor.

You breathed in and out, deeply waiting for the stick to show it’s result. Y/N’s clammy hands couldn’t help but tremble in anticipation. She could feel it inside of her, she knew it wasn’t just her imagination. Will they finally be gifted with a baby? Any gender will do for the both of you, since you weren’t that picky anymore..

It had already been 15 minutes, her husband couldn’t help but start to worry. Sebastian gently knocked on the bathroom door three times, “Honey, you okay in there?”

He began to hear silent sobs, and from the moment he did, the man didn’t hesitate to turn the knob and see her crying her eyes out in front of the mirror, desperately holding the pregnancy test on her chest. “S-Sebastian,” She croaked, voice breaking and sounding vulnerable. “F-Finally…finally,”

Sebastian took her in his arms, tightly hugging Y/N to cease her cries, though that triggered her to shed more tears especially that she was now in his arms. “What happened?” He whispered in worry and held her head against his firm chest. “Finally what?”

Y/N was the first to untangle herself from his arms, eyes full of bliss, gazing up at him to meet his confused, gorgeous blue eyes. “Our prayers have been answered,” She couldn’t help but feel another set of tears that was tempted to fall down. “We finally have the gift we were waiting for, the most precious gift in the whole wide world that not any friend could give,”

“Uhm,” He hummed, still completely baffled as he reached up to brush his short hair back. You placed a hand on his clean shaven jaw, turning his head to look at your sparkling ones, giving him a smile that he wouldn’t forget once you show him your present.

The pregnancy stick was now in front of him, right before his eyes, in between your fingers. His eyes blown wide in surprise, taking few gulps because his throat turned dry, he couldn’t believe it. “Y-You’re…you’re..”

Y/N nodded repeatedly, tears started falling out of her eyes in joy and not in pain, this was the moment they were all been waiting for. She could finally say it out loud, “I’m pregnant, Sebastian! I’m finally pregnant!”

He grabbed onto you, pulling you in his comforting arms. You heard him sniffle, never thinking he would cry at first until warm tears pool on your shirt, your husband was crying..

“I’ve waited so long for this day, Y/N..” His voice shook, grabbing on to you more and keeping his arms locked around you.

Y/N couldn’t help but share more set of tears, caressing her husband’s broad back and keeping her face in his chest, “and I thought I wouldn’t get to say those words in my whole life, Honey..”

The best day had just came. They both waited patiently for their time to come, believing that if it’s destined to happen, then it would. Not probably now, but in the near future, they believed and waited, never forgetting to put effort with the destiny they wanted to have.

“I’m going to be the best father that our child can ever wish for,” He blissfully whispered in your ear, closing his eyes and just enjoying the moment..

A certain moment that crushed your hopes at first, but eventually happened because she was finally pregnant and happy with Sebastian.

Y/N was finally pregnant and that’s all what matters.

***

Permanent taglists: @albinotigerpython  @silverkitten547   @evanstanwrites  @bella-barnes  @suiseb  @captainjoanbarnes123  @so-many-fandoms-for-me  @softromanianplum @buckmesideways22 @iamcumberlover @buckyssxxhair @msruchita

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Legacy Torch

More Branded AU cause this drawing happened and I immediately knew there was a story behind it that needed to be told. It is the beginning. I mean, not the *very* beginning but where it all started nonetheless. Remember, the Branded AU is made by Jay, @blade-of-memeora! Go check it out on their blog!

Jamie knew he should be in bed by now. His parents had a very strict rule: bedtime is ten o’clock, no later. But it was now nearly eleven, and they hadn’t appeared in the living room doorway to tell him to put the book away and go get his pajamas on. That could mean only one thing: they were in the attic again.

He wasn’t sure what they kept up there. Whenever he asked, Mom always changed the subject and Dad said it was too dangerous for a thirteen-year-old to get involved in. Whatever that meant. His imagination had traveled the road from illegal activity to government agents to aliens. But most likely none of those were the case. It was probably something boring for adults.

Though he hated to admit it, JJ was actually starting to get tired. His eyelids were drooping too often to concentrate on the words of his science fiction novel. Maybe he actually should go to bed. He slid a bookmark in between the pages and closed the book, setting it on the end table and stretching.

There was a noise. JJ froze. That didn’t sound like the normal night time creaking of their old wooden house. It sounded...deliberate. And he couldn’t quite identify it. “Hello?” he called out. “Mom? Dad? I promise I’m going to sleep now.” He listened for their reply, but got nothing. Just when he was wondering if he was imagining things, he heard it again. Like knocking. Uneasily, he crept in the direction he thought it came from, the stockings on his feet muffling his footsteps.

He ended up poking his head down the hallway. The door to Dad’s study was open, though there was no light coming through the crack in the doorway. Even still, he was sure that was where the noise was coming from. In fact, there was another noise, like something sliding. Had he been mistaken about where his parents were? JJ hesitated, then figured he should check to see if it really was them or if something had just fallen...repeatedly.

He pulled the study door open a bit, but didn’t go inside. The lights were off, and it was pretty dark, but the light of the moon was coming in the open window, enough for his eyes to see a moving figure. He instantly picked up on three things that were wrong. One, the window shouldn’t be open. Not only had it been closed last time he went in here, but Mom was obsessed with keeping all the windows and doors locked after sundown. Two, the moving figure was not either of his parents. It was obviously a guy, so it clearly wasn’t Mom, and it was too slim and short to be Dad. Three, the guy had an animal head. Obviously it couldn’t be an actual animal head, but that’s what it looked like. He could see the curved triangles for the upright ears, and when the guy turned sideways he could make out what looked like a snout, like for a fox or wolf of some kind.

This guy wasn’t supposed to be here. Jamie could feel his breath quickening, but his feet were glued to the spot. He just watched as the guy fussed with the papers on Dad’s desk, opening the drawers too. When the guy turned his attention to the filing cabinets around the room, JJ suddenly found his feet could work, and he scurried away.

There was an intruder! A burglar of some kind, maybe? Did burglars wear masks? As soon as the thought occurred to him, Jamie remembered. Wasn’t there something going on with people in masks right now? He remembered watching things on the news about masked people robbing stores and houses. His parents always went quiet when stories like that came on.

His parents! He should tell them. They’d know what to do. He’d check the attic, see if they were really there. He took a deep breath and started walking down the hallway, listening very carefully for any creaks in the floorboards. When he reached the staircase and started climbing up, he kept to the edges and away from the center. He read in one of his books that there was less chance of making a noise there.

Once he reached the second story, he scurried forward towards the trapdoor in the ceiling, pulling down on the rope to open it. The ladder fell down with a rattle, but more importantly there was light up there. That meant that his parents were up in the attic. With another deep breath to calm his pounding heart, he climbed up the ladder.

“Jameson Daniel Jackson! What did we tell you about coming up here?”

“Dad!” he cried, pulling himself up onto the attic floor and standing up. “This—this is important.”

His dad was a big man, though not a large one, with blonde hair pulled back in a mini ponytail and an impressive mustache/beard combination. JJ didn’t resemble him much, except in the eyes and ears. He looked more like his mom, a slender woman with rich brown hair and brown eyes behind glasses. Currently, those eyes were giving him the Mom Stare of Death. “Is it important enough to break our first rule?” she asked sternly.

JJ nodded. “Yes! Yes it is! There’s someone in the house.”

The shift was immediate. His parents went from disapproval to alert in a millisecond. “Are you sure?” Dad rumbled.

He nodded even more urgently. “I’m sure! I saw him. Well, I didn’t get a good look because it was dark, but he was in your study, and—and I think he was wearing a mask, it looked like a dog or something…”

The tension immediately cranked up the moment the word “mask” left his mouth. His parents exchanged looks. They...they were afraid. The realization sent a jolt through Jamie’s stomach. Parents weren’t supposed to get scared.

“Charles, what do we do?” Mom whisper-shouted, panic evident in her voice.

“I’m not sure,” Dad answered, running a hand across his mustache in thought. “They’re strong. We might not be able to fight him off. We...we might have to run.”

“And leave all this? When we’re so close?” Mom gestured to the room. JJ took that as a sign to look around. The attic wasn’t quite as big as the rest of the house, but every inch of it had been packed full of stuff. Hanging lamps in the ceiling shed light on stacks of boxes, newspaper clippings with bold headlines and photographs of masked people pinned on corkboards, maps on tables, and sticky notes across every surface. Lines of thread connected the scraps of paper. It looked...like something you might see in a crime show, for when the detective character goes crazy chasing down their criminal nemesis. Was this what they were working on? Some sort of conspiracy?

“I know, Martha,” Dad said wearily. “But we can always rebuild it. This is our lives we’re talking about. And...Jamie.” He looked down at JJ.

Mom paled, seemingly guilty for forgetting about her son. She nodded. “Alright. But should he stay here? I don’t think he knows about him, just us. If something were to happen…”

“No!” Jamie burst out. He squeezed past Dad and flung himself at Mom, wrapping his arms around her. “I want to come too! Don’t leave me!”

Mom patted his head. “It wouldn’t be forever. We’d only need to get out of the house and shake off the masked. We wouldn’t leave you here, Jamie.”

“It—your mother’s right.” Dad stepped forward. “It’ll be safer up here. And we’ll come back. We promise.”

“Dad, I’m not a moron. I know you might not. You...you always said whatever this was is dangerous. W-well! Now I know why. And I know it’s not fair to promise that.”

“We’re going to come back,” Mom said insistently. She tilted JJ’s head up so he was looking her in her tear-rimmed eyes. “But we can’t risk you coming with us. Jameson, I...I don’t think either of us could stand to see something happen to you. Your safety is our priority. So please...just stay here. At least until morning.”

He’d never seen Mom cry before. The sight cracked his stubborn resolve. “Okay, Mom,” he said quietly. “I promise.”

Mom pulled him close and hugged him tightly. It was too short; time was of the essence. When she let go, Dad swooped in to take her place with a squeeze. “We love you, Jamie,” he whispered.

“I—I love you too,” he said. His eyes were watering, but he blinked them away. He had to show he was okay with this.

His parents slowly headed back toward the attic trapdoor. Before they climbed down, each one of them blew a kiss at him. After a moment, the ladder folded back into place, and the trapdoor swung closed.

Jameson didn’t know what to do. He didn’t feel sleepy anymore. On the contrary, he was full of nervous energy, listening for any sign of something going wrong. To take his mind off things, he started examining the room in closer detail. The largest table in the center of the room was taken up by a large and very detailed map of their city and some of the surrounding area. Little flags were set in strategic locations. The other tables held maps of other cities, maps of remote towns, and one had a map of the whole country, cities marked with X’s in black marker.

Before he could take a look at anything else, though, he heard it. A crash, coming from downstairs. His heart twisted. He made it halfway toward the trapdoor before he remembered how he’d promised to stay here. But he kept staring at the trapdoor as more crashes echoed up. And then Mom screamed.

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t stand by and listen. They were his parents, for god’s sake. They had to be alright. The trapdoor opened, ladder clattering to the floor. He climbed down, not bothering to look where he was putting his feet.

A problem became clear immediately. There was a hole in the floor of the hallway, as wide as the hall itself. A hellish red glow was coming up from beneath. Jameson looked down. He could see the first floor hallway below. It was empty, the red glow coming from somewhere else. He swallowed nervously, then took a running start and leaped across the hole, stumbling on the other side but still making the landing. Next stop, stairs. He ran down them two at a time.

The first floor hall was a mess. There were deep gouges in the walls. Like something had scraped along it, scooping out plaster. There were parts where the wiring was exposed. And there were still more crashes, coming from the kitchen. The glow was coming from there too. Jameson ran forward, darting inside.

He was met with a scene so terrible he couldn’t believe it. Mom had fallen, leaning against the fridge and pressing a hand to a spreading patch of red on her shirt, while Dad was standing over her, a large knife in one hand and what looked like one of the floor lamps from the front room in his other. He was glaring at a man in a copper mask, shaped like some sort of dog with upward ears. The man had red hair that was glowing, and his eyes were glowing the same. Scribbles of red light were dancing around his hands and fingers, darting out seemingly on their own and hitting random spots nearby. Every time the bolts connected with something, they left a small, smoking crater behind.

This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t possible. He—he had to do something. He looked around. On total impulse, he ran over to the nearest counter and grabbed the toaster, pulling its plug out of its socket. He threw it at the red man.

The chaotic red blasts suddenly jumped into organization, forming bands that wrapped around the back of the man, protecting him. The toaster was caught in the bands, which latched onto it and fizzled and sparked, growing too bright to look at before dropping the shocked and blackened husk of the appliance to the ground.

The man’s head whipped around. Jameson froze the moment those glowing red eyes locked onto him, but luckily it seemed the man was frozen as well. Maybe surprised by the presence of a child?

“Leave him alone!” Dad threw the knife. It was a good throw, blade first and aimed right at the red man’s head, but it was no use. The bands of red electric chaos swiveled around, catching it and burning it just like with the toaster. And in the movement, Jameson noticed something. Like...strings? Attached to the red man’s neck and wrists. He hadn’t noticed them before because they were the same color as the energy, but once he did notice...they seemed odd. He watched as one twitched, seeming to pull, and all of a sudden the man had turned back around to face his parents. The bands of red disbanded, once again becoming nothing but energy. The red man raised his open hand, and the energy gathered.

“No!” Jameson shrieked, rushing forward. Dad did the same on the other side, lamp raised in one final hurrah. It wasn’t enough. The energy exploded, a concentrated blast of chaos like someone had harnessed the power of dynamite to go in only one direction. Jameson instinctively stopped in his tracks, throwing his hands up and closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he wished he hadn’t. “No no  no no!”

He didn’t even care about the red man anymore. He ran right past him, kneeling next to his parents, landing in a warm puddle. “Mom! Dad!” He grabbed them, shaking their fragmented bodies. It was clear from before he even tried that it wasn’t any good. They couldn’t get up in this state. There was so much blood. It was on his hands, his arms, even his face. When did it get on his face? A splash from the initial blast that had made it past his arms when he’d flung them up in defense? There were no tears. Because there was no grief yet, just shock and disbelief and sheer, utter pain. He looked up. The red man was still there. He couldn’t move. He wasn’t sure he could.

The man wasn’t doing anything. Just staring.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. There wasn’t supposed to be a kid here. Why was there a kid here? What did he do about that? And now the kid was just looking at him with—with fear and anguish. He looked—he looked like him. Like him as a child.

He’d been a kid once. Before—before there was a mask. He’s wearing the mask now. But it hadn’t always been that was. What—what happened? He remembered seeing someone in a mask, going after someone else, he’d tried to step in, and another one had swooped down like an owl going after a mouse, and then—and then—

He gasped, stumbling backward. His eyes flickered from their red glow to plain blue. No, no, no this wasn’t—he wasn’t—he was looking around, fully taking in his surroundings for the first time in what felt like years. Everything was red. There were bodies—oh god, you couldn’t exactly call those bodies, could you? And the heat. It was suffocating, scorching. It was coming from him, from whatever this energy was. Couldn’t the kid feel it? As he watched, the energy started roiling, writhing. No no no, this belonged to him, didn’t it? He could’ve sworn it did. But it wasn’t acting like it belonged to him, it wasn’t listening to his desperate commands to stop. It was just getting wilder, becoming a whirlwind.

His hands flew to the mask. It was burning red-hot, and he instinctively jerked away, letting out a shriek as he stumbled backwards. But he had to get it off, so he reached up again and tried to pull it away. But it was too hot to touch. His back hit a wall and he slumped downward. It was burning, burning, burning, too much to even scream, just whimper.

The red man was backing away, but that didn’t mean much when this—this red chaos was bouncing off the walls, whirling crazily. It was doing more than gouging through walls, it was tearing right through them in places, picking up every object in the kitchen and throwing it across the room, where they crashed into the walls and made even more gaps.

Jameson was screaming. He didn’t know if it was words, pleas to stop, or if it was just a reaction to the blades of heat that were running across his skin. There was no damage, but it hurt worse than hell. He had to get out. He had to—his parents—too late, he had to get out. Stay safe like they wanted him to. But it hurt. It hurt so much.

He started crawling. The red man had fallen against the wall, head bowed. Jameson tried to edge around him, so that his right side was to him. He couldn’t go all the way. Every so often, when the energy decided to surge at random points, he collapsed, curling up into a ball and wailing until he could move again. Inch by painful inch, he crept forward on hands and knees.

This was bad. Jackie—his name was Jackie, that was his name—couldn’t contain whatever this was. He was trying, but the blazing, biting heat—the heat on his fucking face—the searing, melting metal, it was too much. He felt it, felt the heat building up inside. The kid had managed to make his way to the nearest door, right next to Jackie himself. He needed to get out, before—

Another red explosion. This one, undirected. It flung out in all directions, absolutely destroying the wall Jackie was leaning against, leaving him laying on the ground. He couldn’t see the kid anymore, just red gusts of seething energy. Jackie closed his eyes. It wouldn’t let him pass out until this energy had been expelled in this chaotic way. So he lay there, with no energy but somehow still twitching and jerking, and let everything burn around him.

When the blast came, Jameson was picked up and hurled far away, going right through one of the gaping holes in the kitchen walls and flying until he hit a more intact one. He landed hard on his left side, but he was more concerned with the right. And he kept screaming. His arm—his arm was torture, agony slicing up his nerves. His eye felt like it had a thousand knives shoved inside. The tears were coming now, tears of pure pain. He couldn’t move it right arm. Why couldn’t he—why couldn’t he feel it? Why had half his vision gone dark?

It was still here. The energy. Grabbing at the walls, ripping out plaster and electrical systems, reducing furniture to matchsticks, demolishing everything. He was wailing, but the red was in his throat, ripping it up and shredding it. The harder he screeched, the more he let in, the less he could breathe as he choked on red pain.

He didn’t remember the moment he lost consciousness.

Jameson opened his eye to white, and he immediately closed it again. Everything hurt. Not the intense, slicing, burning pain of before, just a constant, dull ache. But that didn’t mean it was comfortable, especially after the relief that was unconsciousness. But once he got used to the aching, he noticed that he was lying in a bed. An unfamiliar one. There were bandages around his right eye, and around his right arm—no, the place where his right arm used to be. It was torn off in that electric storm of energy. Same thing probably happened to his eye.

After a moment, he cracked open his eye again. He immediately recognized that he was in a hospital. Soft light was shining through a nearby window, bouncing off the white walls. There was a bag of clear liquid and a bag of red liquid—blood, each feeding into his left arm through a tube and needle. He tried to sit up, but found he couldn’t. Too much effort.

“Oh! Here, hon, let me help you with that.” Jameson let out a soft gasp as he realized there was a nurse in the room. She’d been on his blind side, and he had to turn to look at her. She picked up a small remote, connected to the bed with a cable. “See, here you can make the bed move up and down. I’ll do it for you right now, but if you feel up to it in the future go ahead. If not, this red button will call a nurse to help you out. Okay?” She waited for Jameson’s confirming nod. “Okay, hon, just indicate when.”

When the bed reached the appropriate angle, Jameson tried to tell her to stop, but what came out was a small start of a word that immediately cut off. His throat didn’t hurt. He could still talk. But when he tried it just—it felt like he was back there, seeing and tasting nothing but red.

Luckily, she seemed to get the point. “Alright, here we are.” She put the remote on the bed, near Jameson’s left hand. “D’you remember what happened, hon?”

Jameson slowly nodded.

The nurse smiled. “Well, that’s good. That means you probably don’t have a concussion or damage to the brain. Do you feel up to talking about it?”

He hurriedly shook his head, crying out a bit when it shot pain down his neck.

“Don’t move if it hurts, hon. It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” She smiled reassuringly. “But the police are pretty stumped. They said it looked like a bomb went off, at the same time someone started a fire and a lightning bolt hit the house. I...I’m sorry, dear, but there’s nothing left. And…” she hesitated, clearly reluctant to say this next part. “...and...you were the only one they found.”

Jameson nodded, showing that he knew that. He closed his eyes against the sudden onslaught of tears. His parents were dead...Mom and Dad were dead. Trying to get out so he could stay safe. Well, he’d certainly stayed safe, hadn’t he, running in to find them and ending up missing some body parts? The tears managed to escape.

“I’ll leave you for a bit, dear,” the nurse said softly. “I’ll get the doctor. If you feel like talking then, she’d be happy to listen.” Her footsteps retreated. A door opened and closed, and then there was nothing.

He wouldn’t feel like talking then. He doubted he ever would again. Opening his eyes, he stared at nothing. Why had this happened? His parents had been investigating something, hadn’t they? Something to do with all these masked people...he’d seen the photographs and newspaper clippings in the attic, they were all related to the masked. So...did they send one of them after them because they found, or were about to find, something important? And when this guy had seen Jameson, the guy...freaked out? Maybe he had orders to destroy the evidence too, and went a little bit overboard.

Jameson reached up and wiped his tears away with his left hand. Well, he’d have to get used to that. Maybe he’d get a prosthetic. Or maybe he could make one? If he could even figure out how to do that. And what about the eye? God, he’d have to get used to a lot, wouldn’t he.

He sighed deeply, resuming his staring contest with the opposite wall. Mom and Dad had been onto something, and they’d died for it. That meant one thing.

He’d have to finish what they started.

[neoblogcrying]

Transmigrator!Binghe pt.7

Phew, I finally got this up! I honestly was going to try to complete this entire arc with this chapter but I was almost at 4000 words... so I decided to stop here. I’ll finish with the next chapter! Inspiration came from Pizziccato’s ask/answer [x] . Some dialogue was taken/improvised from BC’s translation found: [x]

-

I’ve have you know that I’ve successfully ascertained that it was indeed anxiety that was making my heart beat erratically in my chest. Ever since Shizun smiled, he’s been frowning ever since.

Was it because he saw my face that I ruined his mood? I remained in the corner, trembling slightly in fear that he would start torturing me any moment. I could feel my muscles tensing with every movement he made, making this way more exhausting than anything else.

At this rate, I’d much rather get out there and walk the rest of the way, but I’m sure Shizun won’t let me. Even if he did…  Ning Yingying would likely hold a fit, and then I’d be forced back into the carriage to save Shizun face.

Black lines appeared on my face as I thought about this more than likely scenario.

I could only impatiently wait for what was to come (or not come). Every bump on the road would spike my anxiety in fear that it would make Shizun remember about my existence. My heart came close to stopping multiple times during this this travel period.

I’m such a pitiful protagonist, aren’t I? I know, I feel bad for me too.

With every movement from Shizun driving my anxiety to a peak, I closed my eyes shut tightly and tried to focus on anything else. Contemplate on things like… what I could do to reduce my affection points with Ning Yingying. Who my future lover was supposed to be (because face it, I don’t plan on failing), and whether the system was going to continue trolling me like this?

There had to be a loophole that I could take advantage of.

Maybe it’s because I kept thinking myself into circles, time passed faster than I thought.

Shuang Hu City wasn’t large, but you could say that it was bustling with activity. We met with the man who was pleading for help from the Cang Qiong Mountain sect, Old  Master Chen. Apparently, two of his concubines died under the ‘Skinner’s’ hands.

“You cultivators must make a decision for us! I don’t dare let Butterfly leave my side, for fear that she’ll lose her way and be killed by that unnatural creature that very day!” The old man mournfully groaned, with tears dripping down his face. I understand that things are different here, but this is too jarring for me, who is from the modern era.

He’s not called ‘Old Man Chen’ for nothing, you know? He’s 60 years old and this concubine he’s fondling is probably a teenager by the looks of things! I was screaming in my head internally, hoping to call child services on him, but that doesn’t exist in this world.

I bit the inside of my cheeks to keep me from saying anything uncouth. This wasn’t my world and thus I had to adapt to their customs, no matter how much I didn’t want to.

Shizun, being the lofty expert, he was, coldly turned around and left. Ming Fan was left behind to greet the Old Master and go over some of the details with. This was the usual, so none of the disciples were surprised by it. It was one of those things, you know? It made you want to admire him.

We all dispersed, and I was thinking about what to do about this. It was weird that I hadn’t gotten a mission from the System yet, but I knew it was stupid of me to think positively now. It was only a matter of time before the system gave me the order to do something to progress the plot—unless…?

Hey, was this scene written in the original series?

[System: Answer, this scene was not written in the original series. This is a background story that the readers have no knowledge of.]

If that’s so… why do you still deduct OOC points from me if I act coldly towards Ning Yingying? Shouldn’t I be able to get away with it? --- That is what I wanted to ask, but I knew the answer to that even without asking it.

Even if I let loose because this wasn’t a part of the original story, it could still be referred to later. If I were to act differently, it raises the chances that this will be referred to in passing. A confusing narrative wouldn’t do anyone in this story any good.

I shook my head in dismay at the thought.

“No good? How about I ask Shizun first? I’m sure he’ll agree!”

I heard Ning Yingying’s voice beside me and I whipped my head to the side to see that she already ran off to find Shizun’s room. W-what was she saying just now? I was lost in my thoughts and I wasn’t listening. SHIT!

WAIT. NING YINGYING, COME BACK! Don’t do something that will put me in trouble with Shizun! I quickly followed after her, but she made it to Shizun’s door before I could bring her back.

“Shizun, Ying-er wants to go out for a turn in the market. Does Shizun wish to join me?” She asked him politely. My steps came to a steady halt and I let out a sigh of relief, fists unclenching, and shoulders relaxing. Luckily, she didn’t say anything that would trigger my death flag.

“If Ying-er wants to go out for a turn, go and find some of your apprentice-brothers to accompany you. This master still has things to do before we face the Skinner.”

Ning Yingying turned her head and flashed a playful smile and with light steps, she trotted over to my side. “Join me, A-Luo. Why don’t we look at the market together? We can see who else wishes to join us.” She grabbed my arm and tugged me along.

As I expected, my arm tensed up upon being touched. This wasn’t because I was nervous or anything like that, but I didn’t feel comfortable having this level of closeness with a girl. I’m a gay man, after all.

We didn’t bother to ask Ming Fan, because he was busy. He was probably doing most of the legwork for Shizun, so he wouldn’t have the time to check the market with us—luckily for me.

Speaking of Shizun, I personally think that he’s such a scummy character. For what reason did you have to hate me from the very get go? What did I ever do to you? He’s an authoritative figure, but he lets the other disciples bully me, and he sometimes joins in himself! Trashy.

That said, I was secretly excited to see what he would make of this Skinner. If I was right, this was probably the work of a demon, if I had to guess how a novel would progress. It’s not often you get to see a Master showing off his finesse and skills! Not only that, our Shizun had good looks! (Let’s ignore the fact that he’d probably come second to me once I grow up.)

What? I may think he’s trashy, but I won’t deny a good-looking man when I see one.

Walking side by side, we checked the market, looking at everything they had for sale. So many trinkets and food lined the market stalls and I looked on with amazement. I could only look on from afar when I was younger because of how poor me and my mother were.

Ah.

My hand unconsciously reached for my chest to grasp at nothing. Right, I don’t have my pendant anymore.

I’ve been dragged here and there to different stores and stalls by her already and even my saintly patience was coming to an end. Just as I was about to say something, Ning Yingying gasped aloud.

“Look! That looks so cute!” Ning Yingying let go of my arm in her excitement and she rushed to a store that sold accessories. It caught her attention and she was enthusiastically looking over the trinkets with a serious eye. “This one, isn’t it cute?” She pointed to a purple butterfly hairclip.

“I believe we should return soon. The day is getting late and surely the others will worry if we tarry much longer.”

She pouted in response, looking miffed. What? It’s true, so why are you upset?

[System: Ning Yingying feels slighted by Luo Binghe’s lack of interest in her appeal attempt. -10 affection points.]

Nice! Keep it up and she’ll move onto someone else, like Ming Fan. Then, he’ll hate me less, that jealous bigot! Still, 10 points is too little, but I’ve been burned enough to know that I should be grateful with whatever I can get.

“Hmph! No way! I want to stay out longer! If you want to go back so soon, catch me and drag me back!” She complained and ran off.

W-what a willful girl! Did your brain turn off? Have you forgotten that the Skinner is out there and it only attacks young girls like yourself!?

[System: Ning Yingying’s thoughtless action impedes her intelligence growth factor. -30 points.]

Whatever, I’ll deal with that later! I hastily gave chase and as soon as I turned the bend—she… she disappeared! How is that possible? She can’t just up and vanish into thin air! My heart beat quickly in fear. She’s gone. She’s really missing!

My feet hit the ground faster, and I could feel the ground shifting underneath my feet as I ran up and down the street, looking for her. I kept repeatedly calling her name, but no response! This isn’t good, this is really bad! She’s gone! Was she kidnapped in broad daylight? Did the Skinner capture her?

There’s no other way about it than to ask Shizun for help! I’ll accept my punishment later! She’s an important character in the progression of the story, so we can’t lose her yet, and I let her run off like an idiot!

I ran as quickly as I could (which is quite fast, might I add. As expected from my Protagonist stats), and I burst through the door. “Shizun!”

Inside was both Shizun and Ming Fan. He must have been giving Shizun the results of his research.

Shizun kept his cold visage even with me appearing so suddenly unannounced. “What is the matter for you to shout so loudly and be in such a panic?” He’s really got a face of ice.

I mentally shook my head of useless thoughts.

“Apprentice-sister Ning Yingying and this disciple went outside during the day to the market. I urged her to come back, but he refused. She ran off and I gave chase, but after she turned a corner, she disappeared. This disciple searched the entire street but couldn’t find her. I fear she may have been taken. I came back to ask for Shizun’s help. I will accept any punishment Shizun gives me as long as we can return her safely!” I solemnly pleaded for him to help Ning Yingying.

As much as I found her constant stickiness to be annoying as I didn’t return her affections, I didn’t hate her. She may be an idiot, and she may be overly sticky, but she had a good heart. Out of everyone on this peak, she treated me the best, and she only wanted the best for her. You could say she was my only friend on this peak, and I’d hate for her to die in some unnatural way.

“Luo Binghe! You…” Ming Fan seethed, but he couldn’t finish his sentence when an elegant motion from Shizun stole both our attention. Shizun’s sleeve waved, exploding the teacup that was sitting on the writing desk.

My entire body broke into shivers and I felt weak at the knees. Today is the day I die, but please, at least let me see that Ning Yingying is safe! I avoided my gaze to stare at the ground, wanting to escape from the anger that was emanating from Shizun’s face.

“Since things have already happened, there is no longer any use for words. Luo Binghe, you’ll be coming with me. Ming Fan, you bring your fellow apprentice-brothers to ask the Chen Family for their assistance in searching for your apprentice-sister. We will return her safely.” He spoke so resolutely with a commanding voice.

I dare not think he added the last part to soothe my panicked feelings. I knew that Shizun had a particular care for the apprentice-sisters, so that had to be his consideration of not wishing to lose a ‘flower’ of his peak.

My head continued to hang low as I dreaded the worst. I am quite used to receiving a beating, and as much as the system told me I had a Golden Halo that protected my life, I truly didn’t believe I could live to see another day because of how I lost Ning Yingying.

“This matter is all of this disciple’s fault. If Shizun wishes to punish me, this disciple has no regrets. This disciple only wishes to be able to help find apprentice-sister Ning Yingying and bring her back safely. Afterwards, even my life can be given to Shizun.”

Please… please let me see her safe. Aside from my mother, she’s the only one who treated me with genuine kindness. It’s such a shame, if I was straight, I’m sure I would have held feelings for her… but I’m gay. I just can’t see her that way, no matter how hard I could try. Keyword being ‘could’ because there’s no way I would try.

I know my preferences very well, thank you.

“Come over. Bring me to the last place you’ve seen your apprentice-sister.” Shizun’s cold voice spoke and I nodded my head slowly, hastily moving out the door to lead the way. The quicker I lead the way, the sooner we can find Ning Yingying!

I stopped when I reached the location I lost her, and I turned to Shizun to see he stood there with his eyes closed. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I could only guess he was trying to feel for any traces of anything suspicious—like evil energy.

Slowly he started walking with his eyes still closed and I trotted after him like a duckling, with anticipation growing in my chest. Ning Yingying, just wait! We’ll come and save you!

With every step we took, my confidence in finding her grew—until we stopped at a rouge shop.

“…”

“…”

A rouge shop?

“Could it be that the murderer isn’t hidden in this shop, but that they’ve visited this establishment before? Entering a rouge shop… a woman?” I heard Shizun murmur to himself.

An idea hit me.

Hey, system. Since this scene isn’t shown to the readers, it won’t be an issue to change some things, right?

[System: That is correct. As long as the changes are reasonable, the system will not punish the protagonist. What do you seek to change?]

I bit at my lower lip as I thought about this. I’m sure this mystery was going to be more contrived than I was willing to waste my time on.

Is it possible to make this mystery easier to solve?

[System: It is possible. Will you like to pay 100 points to activate Easy mode?]

YES!

After a couple of seconds, we could feel a strong evil energy! It raised goosebumps all along my back.

H-hey, isn’t that too much? That’s way too easy. That’s like kindergarten level easy.

We both proceeded towards the evil energy, and after about 500 steps, the path we were following deviated sharply from the city area and then we arrived at an abandoned and deserted house.

There is a pale lantern of the poor, dilapidated front date. It’s a haunted house, for sure. Something that you can find demons in.

See? I called it. The skinner had to be a demon. Shizun turned towards me who had been following him silently up until this point. I was hoping that if I avoided his attention, he wouldn’t send me away, but it seems like he finally remembered about my existence.

“Return to the Chen estate. Contact Ming Fan and tell him to bring all the sutras with him and lead all your apprentice-brothers to come here together.” He gave this order.

I was about to answer, but I saw an ominous shadow appear from behind Shizun. IT’S THE SKINNER! The only reaction I was able to make was the shrinking of my pupils and recognizing that my heart skipped a beat.

A gust of yin wind blew and the front gates slammed open. The Skinner attacked Shizun! That’s the last thing I saw before I too, was knocked out.

“A-Luo… A-Luo, wake up. You’re … -ring me. Are you okay?” A whimpering voice beside my ear sounded, but it kept cutting out as I was struggling to keep my focus together.

I recognize that voice! I shook the sleep away from my head and—NING YINGYING! She’s still alive! Thank goodness! I almost wanted to cry—but no good protagonist cries so easily.

My tears aren’t cheap.

“You’re awake! Thank goodness! I was so worried you’d never open your eyes again! Now… there’s… only…” Ning Yingying’s once ecstatic reaction turned very timid and flustered. That wasn’t a reaction I was familiar with.

Following her line of eyesight, I saw--!!!! THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE SIGHT!

SHIZUN. WAS. STRIPPED. BARE!

SHIT, HE’S AWAKE!

In my panic, I turned to look away, flushing a deep red.

I’M GOING TO DIE, I’M GOING TO DIE! HE’S GOING TO MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD. HE WILL RID OF ANY AND ALL EVIDENCE OF THIS BLACK STAIN ON HIS REPUTATION!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU, YOU SHITTY-ASS SYSTEM!

EASY MODE, MY ASS! WHAT USE IS AN EASY MODE IF IT RESULTS IN TRIGGERING MY DEATH FLAG!?

I quickly turned my gaze away from Shizun who was still unconscious.

“I feel so bad for Shizun…” Ning Yingying whispered quietly under her breath.

Feel bad for Shizun? Feel bad for ourselves! He’ll kill us to keep his honor intact, I’m sure of it! You’re such an idiot, Ning Yingying!

Shizun was tied up with his top half stripped bare. He still had his pants and his boots on, thank goodness.

No, I won’t admit that I took the time to admire his pristine white skin.

“Shizun, you’ve finally woken up. Yingying is very scared…” She whimpered pathetically. Is this… a ploy to trigger his protective feelings towards you?

[System: Ning Yingying has chosen to summon tears to curb Shen Qingqiu’s anger. +20 crafty points]

What a sly fox! Good job, Ning Yingying! Honestly, I’m in awe.

A burst of weird laughter came from behind Shizun.

“Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s great and lofty expert is nothing great, it seems. The world’s number one big sect, the Cang Qiong Mountain sect is only at this standard. This means the Demon Realm’s rise is just around the corner.” The voice from before burst into loud laughter once more.

The person was covered entirely in black veils, with a coarse voice that was unpleasant to hear.

“The Skinner?”

“Hehe~ The famous Xiu Ya sword has fallen into my hands, I’m so happy! Shen Qingqiu, oh Shen Qingqiu, even if you break open your head, you won’t be able to guess who I am!” This demon seemed so sure of themselves, even I could guess who they were. Even without the use of the easy mode.

“What’s so hard to guess?”

“…”

“You are Butterfly.”

I nodded my head in tandem to his conjecture. As expected from the intelligent Shizun. You’ve come to the right conclusion. Let’s ignore the Ning Yingying who is looking very confused next to me.

“Impossible! How could you guess my identity correctly!” She cast aside the black veils and demanded to know irritably. How couldn’t you know?

Even if I don’t care for women, I’m not blind enough to not tell you are a woman by your silhouette. Look at the décor of this place. This isn’t something you can find in any random place. If we’re going by classic novel tropes, the culprit is always who you least suspect—the next ‘victim’ to be. Knowing that this world is a part of a novel made it easy to guess that it had to be you.

I’m not sure what information Shizun had, but I’m sure his reasoning is unfathomable to the rest of us, and he deemed us too unworthy to impart his great wisdom, so he didn’t open his mouth.

Butterfly gave up on waiting. “The Skinner is untraceable not because I have an exceedingly high ability, but it’s because I always switched skins after killing someone. By wearing the skins of those women and imitating their behavior, I was able to pass unnoticed in the confusion of the search for the next target.”

“That’s wrong.”

Huh? What’s wrong, Shizun?

“Where is it wrong?”

“Even if you switched skins after you killed someone every time, for example, after killing butterfly—you don her skin, you become ‘Butterfly’ but there is still her skinned body left over. Won’t someone find it strange if there are two?”

!!!

He couldn’t be referring to DNA analysis, could he? I thought of it myself, so maybe that’s why I’m so sensitive to his words… but…it couldn’t be?

Call me crazy, but… Shizun shouldn’t be able to have his mindset, right? For me, someone from the modern era, we have such a thing as DNA analysis, but the Shizun of this world shouldn’t have knowledge of such a thing, right?

It’s possible he has some magical method as a peak lord… but this is too weird. If I’ve transmigrated into the novel, what’s to say another person couldn’t migrate over as well?

Let me guess, you won’t let me know?

[System: Correct. The system cannot let you know if another person is a transmigrator like yourself.]

Figures.

It’s not a problem if I figure it out on my own right? Will you stop me from testing him?

[System: The system has no power to stop you from making your own conjectures about Shen Qingqiu.]

Perfect.

If he’s another transmigrator like me, maybe we can come to an understanding. If he’s another transmigrator, I can tell him, right?

[System: Answer, that is false. You are the protagonist and the readers are following your moves constantly. Any scene you are with Shen Qingqiu are regarded with high importance due to the bullying aspect. Therefore, you will be unable to tell Shen Qingqiu without letting the readers know of the truth. IF you found Shen Qinqiu to be another transmigrator, you must keep your silence.]

You really like to kick me down, don’t you? Just when I thought I found myself an ally, you kick me down.

A/N: Fufu yes, both of them asked for Easy mode, which means it’s SUPER EASY MODE. lol

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[sambart93]

2018.10.26 and 29 Teito Tantei Kitan Zigomar [Review]

Official Website here Official Twitter here Press Coverage 1, 2, 3, 4

CAST and CHARACTERS

Hiroya as Z (Zigomar / Jigoma) Hattori Takeo as Mikasa Yumenosuke (Private Detective) Ebihara Yuka as Mutou Yuuko (Kidnapped by Zigoma) Hanaoka Meika as Hanasaki Mayuko (Mikasa's Assistant) Kadono Sho as Kitamiko Saburo (Chief Policeman) Tanaka Hiroki as Sumi Arata (Newbie Policeman) Oda Toshiki as Hira Tarou (Journalist)

Adachi Yuna as Tokage (meaning 'lizard' - Phantom Theif) Sawada Maria as Ando Ayako (Opera Singer)

Umehara Saeri as Aikawa Tamako (Tetsujiro's Girlfriend/Wife) Kuroki Kiko as Doi Shiori (Adopted Sister?) Tatsuya Yuu as Kobayashi Tetsujiro (Saved by Mikasa. Admires Mikasa.)

Working For Zigomar:

Hinagata Ui as Tsukishiro Tei Ogura Eriko as Sunaga Tokiko

Working for Fukiya:

Maruyama Raiden* as Gondawara Kouzou Odagiri Masayo as Harukara Meiko Souji Masato as Hitomi Hirosuke Kamidochi Kanki as Naoki Osamu

Terumi as Fukiya Kiyoshi 

W Cast:

Kai Chiaru / Oota Saki as Saito Kanoko (Yuuko's Maid) Ashikaga Itaru / Oda Shunpei as Mifune Saburo (Powerful Politician, Yuuko's Husband) Ihara Yu / Umeda Shohei as Tsujioka Fumisuke (Works for Zigomar)

*DAMN that's a REALLY good name!

*

NON-SPOILER REVIEW Overall: My expectations for ASSH are always high and they ALWAYS met! They always make such amazing stages that are pleasing in so many ways! This stage was just as high quality as their previous ones; great in-depth amazing story with characters that you just want to know personally and in-depth - seriously, every single one of them I got very attached and/or interested in ! -, the darkness and the themes of the story was great, they always have a message that leaves you thinking, the costumes were well made and the theme was super interesting; and as per usual I was left wanting more, wanting another installment! I loved the messaged for this play which was very much 'how do we decide whether a character is good or bad?' because every character in this stage is flawed, every character in this has their reasons as to why their actions are justified, each character has a charming point that makes you believe their motives are the right ones. I just love that ASSH always poses such questions in their stages and has these types of characters. In true ASSH style, it is not a happy ending. They keep it partially raw and real and dark! The characters that stood out to me the most were obviously Zigomar and Mikasa, but I also got super invested in Hanasaki, Hirosuke, Naoki, Gonda and Kitamiko! I wanted to know so much more about them and their character scenes and arcs are great. Espeically for Gonda and Hirosuke; their arcs were GOLD. I was so invested and so affected by their storylines. I really hope we get a next installment, especially with the random mind-blowing reveal we get at the end of the play, and I am sure they'll find a way to kind of 'undo' what happens at the end so they can make a second stage out of this. It seriously deserves one and I seriously want one! Thank you ASSH for consistently producing and giving me great, solid stages! Rating: 9/10

*

SPOILER REVIEW

I have no idea where to start with this, as per bloody usual, but I shall try!

Aesthetics 

First I loved the visuals of this stage; I love how the stage looked, I loved the costumes (and how all of them except Zigoma had words on parts of their costumes which were lines from the script); I loved the ending where letters dropped from the ceiling and onto the floor; it was very visually appealing. Although ONE actress did have boots on and at the beginning they were not equal length and OCD me found it very annoying xD but she soon fixed them by the next time she came back on stage.

Story

The Main Plot is: A guy who calls himself Zigoma is running around killing politicians and the police force want to know why and want to stop him before he kills anymore. Also during his first political kill, the kidnaps the wife of the politician and a private detective has been hired to find and save this now-widow. But what is unveiled is so much more...

This show actually had two versions; the Detectives Side and the Bad Guys Side which means there should be a scene change or two between the two shows.

*

I really enjoyed the story; I loved the discussion and themes of ‘who is right?’ and ‘Is everyone’s individual motive justifiable?’. And we had the mystery of ‘who is Zigoma?’ and ‘why is he doing it?’ and ‘why does he do it?’ which gave some really great punches and revelations. Also the plot twists and the shocker ending were just perfect! I did not see some of them coming and that ending really was a great cherry on the top of the cake! But I won’t spoil it too much right now.

One question/theme that runs throughout the play is whether Zigoma’s motives are justifiable or not. And we get to one part of the play where Mikasa comments ‘I think he’s just doing it for fun. Just because he can.’ but later one Zigoma expresses his desire to change the political climate, to change those in power, almost like a Guy Fawkes (info here) type of character. But then right at the end, when all hope for Zigoma escaping is gone, he cracks. He starts to laugh insanely and then yells at Mikasa ‘you were right! You saw right through me! All along I was doing it just because it’s fun!’. This somewhat internally breaks Mikasa because he didn’t want to be right; he wanted a more logical reason as to why Zigoma did what he did. It’s such a good moment and it really makes the audience think: was Zigoma lying in this moment of insanity? Was he killing off politicians because they were simply shitty, corrupt politicians? Or was he really just doing it because he could? Also, it makes you think, if he was doing it because those in power were corrupt, doesn’t that then make him a hero and not a villain? This theme really messed with my brain and really made me think and I LOVED IT!

There is another scene in the play, that also makes you question Zigoma’s motives. Right at the beginning there is the very first murder of a politician (Mifune Saburo) which everyone thinks Zigoma did because the body discovered was covered in a towel that had the mark ‘Z’ on it. But then at about the mid-point of the story, we learn that in fact the maid of the house had killed the politician because he was not only abusing his wife but was also raping the maid, and she has finally had enough and killed him. However, that night Zigoma had actually come with the intention of killing him anyway so he tells the maid to tell everyone ‘this was my kill!’ and so left the flag on the body. We also find out later that the reason why Zigoma kidnapped Mifune’s wife (Mutou Yuuko) after the murder, is because they actually were original betrothed to each other before she got forced into her marriage with Mifune, which is just like ‘he saved her?! he protected her?! He still loves her?!’ so again, it creates all these questions and such in your brain that you just have to think through and make a decision on. Also once Yuuko realises who Zigoma is, she takes his side completely and helps him out, so she too still has feelings for him! Just waaaahhh?! But then in another twist of fate, right at the end he kills her anyway!! To which I was like ‘waaaahhh?!’ even more!

I adore the ending so much; not the fact that everyone dies at the end, but how it’s visually shown. They die due to a bomb going off, destroying the building they’re in (again, very Guy Fawkes like!), and just as they all drop dead, letters from the ceiling fall down onto their bodies, and the flags at the back of the stage drop down too. I absolutely loved this visual touch! It was amazing and beautiful.

Another plot twist that had me like ‘HOLY HELL! WHAT?!’ was at the very last scene. But first, some back story: the very first scene of the stage is the actor for Hira Tarou, explaining the backstory and setting of the story. Then IN the story, we meet Tarou who is a very good journalist who just happens to know that Mikasa and co. are trying to stop Zigoma. Because Tarou has some inside sources, they let him join their adventure and story. So we don’t really suspect him for the most part, but we do have one moment in the play where Mikasa asks ‘how do you know all this (secret) stuff?’ and Tarou simply replies ‘well I have informants in the police’ and they just brush it off. But right at the very end, when everyone else is dead, on the floor, on the stage, Tarou comes to the center to finish the narration of the story; he reveals (right at the end!!) that he is in fact Edogawa Ranpo, shuts the book in his hand, black out, stage finishes. I was like ‘wait... he’s.... EDOGAWA RANPO!?!?’ again, MIND BLOWN! I did not see that coming at all! And it was such a good, juicy and powerful reveal! It was so good!

Characters

I really liked how everyone got involved in the main story, and I loved all the different ‘factions’ within the story too! We had about six different groups within the story. We had the Detective and his sidekick alongside the police; Zigoma and his posse of followers; bystanders who get super nosey in the Detective’s business; A trio friendship between Meiko, Hirosuke and Naoki; An ambitious opera singer and a Phantom Thief who somehow get caught up in it all without meaning to; Kiyoshi and his clan of servants. I think those are the six main groups. So you can see the big dynamic difference between some and the similarities between others.

The richness and depth of these characters you get from them even though we barely spend two hours with them on stage is just amazing. I fell for some characters so quickly and so hard! I was completely invested in every single one of them! I seriously don’t understand how ASSH consistently makes big casts, but still manages to make every character so rich and different! I don’t understand how we haven’t had a mass crossover of character traits yet in any of their stages! It is just amazing! Characters that I automatically loved just because I love the actors were: Zigoma and Arata. Characters who completely won my heart over throughout the play were: Tokage, Hirosuke, Mikasa, Kitamiko and Hanasaki! I loved all the characters to be honest but the MVP, the one who I ended up completely loving and rooting for and took a lot of my attention was Hirosuke! I don’t know why; maybe because he was visually pleasing, but also his character development was so great! I also loved his relationship with some of the characters! Just... I need to go into spoilers to flail about this boy! So are you ready?

So the main story with Hirosuke is that he and his two close/best friends (Meiko and Naoki) decided to work for Fukiya so that they could have a better and less poor life. But it turns out Fukiya is the worst, and Fukiya orders Meiko and Hirosuke to murder Naoki because he discovers that Naoki is trying to trick and betray him. So while Meiko begs him not to kill Naoki, Hirosuke does it anyway. This obviously breaks his heart and tears him apart. Later on we see Meiko asking Hirosuke to stop following Fukiya, to leave with her and it get away from all this but Hirosuke follows orders, ‘this is for the better’ and shoots her dead. This obviously destroys him too and after killing her. I loved seeing the internal struggle that he had within himself; does he follow his boss? does he follow his heart? does he follow his friends? does he put power over friendship first. I love how we see it eat him from the inside! And that is why he is my favourite! I also love the little scene he has with Tokage at the beginning; she’s the phantom thief who’s being stealing things for Fukiya, but she has never shown her face - she always has him at gun point or knife point, forcing him to look the other way and never see her face. And the beginning of this play, he says ‘just once, could I see your face?’, but it’s not until right at the very end when all the characters have gathered together, that he finally gets to see her, and you can see how happy he is! I love the friendship/slight-romance we have between these two.

Relating to those three, there is a butler, Gondawara, who works alongside Hirosuke and Meiko, and also tries to protect them (and others) many times. I absolutely adored him. He had such a short role but I love how he protected Saito Kanoko and then persuades her to eventually tell the truth about Mifune’s death. He was also the one who stood in the way of Hirosuke and Tei, trying to get Hirosuke to come to his senses and giving him a chance to run away but this ultimately leads to Gonda’s death. He was such a sweet character and I’m so sad he died, and so quickly too!

Gonda’s death is thanks to Tei who has a short but very interesting story line! The girl is addicted to Opium. And once on the opium, she becomes absolutely obsessed with killing. So much so that she attacked and killed Gonda. The cops also try to stop her by shooting her in the leg but because of the drugs, she doesn’t feel it and instead just starts dragging herself across the floor. She finally drags herself back to Zigoma and her crew, but Zigoma deems her insane and that she has lost the real reason why they are killing people, so Zigoma kills her.

Of course, I can’t talk about the characters without talking about our young, new detective Arata, who also goes by the nickname of ‘Suspender-kun’ because he always wears suspenders! He was adorable! He was a fresh, raring to go new detective and I absolutely loved his relationship with his boss, Saburo! They were such a hilarious comedy duo! And Hiroki/Arata on his own did a damn good job being funny and hilarious too! Also Saburo himself was hilarious as a solo artist!

Let me tell you about their ridiculousness: In the very first scene where they introduce themselves, Saburo is completely over the top and takes off his jacket and just drops it on the floor, then later on Arata throws it back to him but he lets it drop. The timing was absolutely perfect and was absolutely hilarious! Another scene is when Arata decides he’s going to seriously help and Saburo finally calls him ‘Arata’ instead of ‘suspender-kun’, so he gets really happy and really dramatic and holds himself against a wall, and Saburo comes over and comments ‘you idiot’ before slapping him on the butt xD

Another character I enjoyed was the Tantei’s assistant: Hanasaki Mayuko. She  was an adorable dork!! I absolutely adored her! And she really shone during her adlibbed comedy scenes! Not only did she get the crowd laughing, but even Mikasa’s actor Hattori was having a hard time keeping a straight face at times xD She was so cute and funny and sweet and adorable! I really liked her! One scene that stood out to me for her: Hanasaki and the Youkan (a thick, jellied Japanese dessert made of red bean paste, agar, and sugar)! Kanoko brings Youkan to the detective as a thanks for saving her and for all their hard work on trying to find Yuuko. But turns out Hanasaki LOVES youkan so she tries to eat all of it through various ways, either offering to Mikasa (who she knows will say no), and quickly trying to eat another piece straight after. But because of this, natural comedy came out where she was trying to say her lines while her mouth was full of food xD also trying to be like ‘oh Mikasa doesn’t like youkan. DO YOU? No you don’t! Didn’t think so! More for me!!’ which was so cute.

Speaking of Mikasa, about part-way through the play, there’s a flashback-slash-fever dream where Mikasa is talking to Zigoma, and Zigoma is like ‘what’s the real reason you became a private detective instead of a policemen? You know deep down the real reason why!’ so that makes me think maybe his father had died on the job and that’s why he became a mysterious private detective instead? Or was his father corrupt as well as the police force at the time? So many questions!

One plot twist that I really enjoyed was the reveal that Tokage and Ando Ayako were actually sisters!! When Ayako starts yelling ‘Onee-san // Big Sister’ at one point, I was like “OMG THEY ARE SISTERS?!?!?!’. I totally didn’t see it coming! Especially because, for most of the play Ayako is horrible towards Tokage and is very cold, almost as if they had never met and just got off on the wrong foot straight away! But later on we learn that they do care for each other and they had to pretend not to know each other, in case Tokage ever got caught because she didn’t want to endanger her little sister. I was MIND BLOWN.

There is another twist where Aikawa actually betrays everyone and was working for Zigoma the whole time. Unfortunately I had already cottoned on a few scenes before hand that she was secretly in on it. I don’t know how I knew but I just felt like ‘there must be some other reason why this family of three are in the story’ and there are scenes where she’s left to protect Shioro at time, and Shiori is DUMB AS FUCK, so I wouldn’t put it past Shiori to not notice what Aikawa was up to and too dumb to realise when Aikawa had gone off to plot or make something. So I naturally figured either Shiori was pretending to be this dumb, stupid sister, or Aikawa was a secret mastermind or Tesujiro was pretending to admire Mikasa so he could set him up. I knew something was going on with those three.

Other Notable Moments/Scenes

In true ASSH style we had the whole cast dancing during the opening song. Luckily, Hiroki on the far left when the dance opening song starts.

There is a slow motion fighting scene which I thought was so cool!!! I really enjoyed the slow-mo moment. Also we got live singing! Ando Ayako’s actress Sawada Maria actually sang the opera songs live to us and she also sings the ending song live which is amazing! Her voice is very, very good!!

I really loved how Saburo and Mikasa decide to team up at the end even though they had some differences throughout the play, but for the greater good (!) they team up in the finale!

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Some things that specifically happened during my First Show (Detective Version):

I was first row and on the very last seat to the left. The gap between my feet and the stage was practically 0.1cm! So I was super duper close to all the actors! Which was for the most part absolutely terrifying (especially during the fight scenes). However, it did have it’s good moment which I will list right here: towards the end of the show, Hiroki gets into a fight which causes him to get thrown and pinned against a wall. That wall was RIGHT in front of me and my head was at the perfect level for Hiroki’s waist, which means that his butt was right in front of me!!!! Also he smelt really nice xD another moment was the final showdown between Tantei Mikasa and Zigoma, they were fighting and again, they slammed against the wall right next to me!! I was parts freaking out and parts overwhelmed and overjoyed xD

We had a double curtain call, and the ending aisatsu was by Hanasaki who was totally cute and she got very shy and couldn’t remember what she wanted to say. But everyone was giggling at her adorableness xD She was stood next to Hiroki and they were both so cute alongside each other!

Of course it was filming day!! When do I never go on filming day?! xD I am ALWAYS at filming day!!! xD

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Second Show (Bad Guy Version):

I went to the senshuuraku (the finale) of this show! They really went all out on the comedy in this final show! Hiroki got hit so hard by Saburo that he started laughing to the side of the stage. Then later Saburo went to pull and release his suspenders and pretended to it the first time, but on the second time he actually let go and it was really hard. Hiroki was rubbing his chest in pain.

Maybe I just didn’t notice in the first show but I feel like in this show, the three people working for Zigoma got their moment of explaining what they wanted and why they joined Zigoma. Maybe this was the scene especially created for this version of the show, or maybe I just missed it the first time round. But I loved getting to know where they came from, their backgrounds and why they joined him.

Another Higawari (daily change) was Gonda saying an Acrostic Poem for Ji-Go-Ma. In the second show, he got a huge round of applause after his Ji-Go-Ma poem because it was just too funny and very good. Unfortunately, I do no remember it *cries*

I also noticed in this second show that there is a moment where Arata and Hanasaki fall in love for a moment after she accidentally touches his arm and that motivates him to help Mikasa on his case some more xD

While in the first show we had Saburo just complete miss catching his jacket through his own lack of calculations, this time it was through Hiroki’s fault; Saburo couldn’t reach far enough to grab his jacket from Hiroki’s throw, it was hilarious.

Another higawari is when Saburo is trying to talk to Arata but Arata get’s super angry straight away: Saburo: Let’s go brat. Arata: *super angry* What did you say?!?! Saburo: Let’s go you brat! Arata: *calms down* Ohh I didn’t hear you! Saburo: *shock* IS THAT WHY YOU GOT MAD?! The scene ends with Hiroki asking Saburo to slap his arm, and they did this wave with their arms before walking off stage xD

In both shows, when Zigoma first appears in front of Yuuko in her house before kidnapping her, he walks in with brandy in a brandy glass and drinks it. In every other show the glass has been half full so it was easy for him to drink. BUT, in this final show Zigoma walked on stage with a GLASS FULL of brandy, and it took him a while to finish it. It was obvious who’d seen the show before because we were the ones cracking up as soon as he walked on stage! So as you can tell, they really went all out on the comedy in this final show! It wasn’t being filmed, they might as well do ridiculous shit and have fun xD

Just before the youkan scene, Hanasaki is in the kitchen making a mess, but then walks on stage and she uses a crashing noise to her advantage. She kept replaying the crash music as Mikasa tried to talk. She tried so hard to get Mikasa’s actor to burst out in laughter but didn’t work; we (the audience) were all dying though.

It was a triple curtain call where we got an announcement for the next stage (the next installment of KimiSaga - review here)!! In March!!! I was (and am!) so excited!!

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GOODS

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And that’s everything! Sorry it took so damn long to get these reviews out (and I’m still a shit ton behind!) but bare with me xD

[fadeweaver]

some long ramble about the actual life course my muses go through bc i like thinking about how people impact their life tbh. 

first off, nothing is ever concrete w/ my characters unless otherwise stated. They’re always changing and growing because i’m not using them for a whole story purpose at the moment and probably will One Day. But for now this is all p much just the current life map for them.

secondly, this is only gonna cover the main three at the moment      Revas, Warren & Igne  tho due to the heavy involvement she has in revas’ life i’ll also say eludysia tbh. but ye! 

 Igne: 

Igne’s life story is long. It’s centuries to millennium's old. Honestly they don’t have some super significance in things. There’s no heavily story based aspect to them. They exist and fade in and out of things. But as time passes, they become one of Revas’ few friends left. The one that always finds her, or she finds them. But its not some fleeting moment of meeting. They spend a decade together before parting simply because by then, a decade is a blink. It’s nothing. It’ll never be anything but a speck on their timeline. So they sort of become that oddly timed run in messenger. They show up and help. They’re part of the web Revas has, probably. Like, a major point in it because they’re one of the few people Revas trusts lmao. And one of the few people revas can spend time around without it being extremely painful. 

So they’re not?? extremely like Story Orientated character but one of the side characters that exists in the foreground. 

Warren: 

Now Warren.. Warren is also an ancient. Not nearly as much as Igne, but still Old. He’s lived thousands of lives and not many of them were good. He’s lived through war after war. He’s fought battles for kings amusement. Wars to survive. Pillaged a land to claim it. Raised a flag of revolution. Men, women, and children, have died by his hands and not many he’s proud of. And for the most part, Warren sees himself as nothing but a tool. An Asset. He’s a hired hand. A hired life for a life. Even after meeting Revas, he doesn’t value himself much higher than this. He doesn’t want to. Honestly, he’s terrified of realizing that he’s not just a thing. He’s terrified of feeling things deeply again. He’s that asshole stoic character with a gooey goddamn center. Which is truly unfortunate because he could be so much more if he only believed it. 

But he doesn’t. 

With time, years after Revas has gained her immortality, he welcomes the help in that regard. He doesn’t spend time with her, not long enough for it to have a high impact. And anything over the usual is forced into a place that she controls completely. He doesn’t spend time with her for anything but sorting out his emotions. Giving him a space to accept them without it causing stress. 

He doesn’t Grow from this like he would normally. The process is slow and harder for him than he likes to admit. and there’s multiple times where afterwards he can’t feel anything which only makes it harder.

He doesn’t get some happy ending. He doesn’t get some ending where he’s happy. He exists along side revas, tying together the web she’s got and trying to forget his past. Hell, I’m sure by then he doesn’t go by Warren anymore. He’s Just!!! Learning to live!!! Learning to exist as a person!!! 

Eludysia:

While her part is long and drawn out, it’s probably the only one so entangled with Revas that getting rid of her completely changes the story line. She’s the pinnacle of what an antagonist is, to a degree. An antagonist, but not necessarily a villain. Eludysia doesn’t want Revas to have attachments that are unshakable. She doesn’t want her to have permanence in someone’s life. She wants one thing: Revas to take her place. In the grand scheme of things, Eludysia is sort of the other half of Revas. (Because I realized earlier that Eludysia and Revas are sort of two parts of another character i scrapped.) So, they circle each other. Revas can exist without Eludysia, but she will always come back to her. She’ll always find her. She will always come into play with Revas. At some point in her life, Eludysia always finds her. 

Im not gonna go into specifics of like. How big her part is bc lmao that’ll be a good time. But she’s a BIGGIE!! it’s great

anyways.  At some point in Revas’ life, an undetermined age, she takes over for Eludysia. Eludysia, in the process dies, but her memories and everything are left to Revas. End story: she dies. But, hoo. the impact she has on revas is a doozy!!! 

Revas

The end story for Revas is definitely not one of like super happy fun times. There’s no romance that comes to save her. There’s no one who even knows when she leaves. She just does. 

At a point in her life, she vanishes. She cuts all ties, and leaves everything empty. She is, by all means, gone. For the most part, she sees no reason in it. The friends she has aren’t the closest ones and she doesn’t want them to try and stop her, like Warren would try. 

But it’s just. Something she has to do. She has to get better with her magic. Has to get stronger so she can maybe live a normal life. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out that way. None of her training covers her dreaming and seer abilities. None of it can help it as it gets stronger and overpowering. 

And part of her leaving has to deal with the fact she knows she’s dying. The longer the time it takes, the more she starts to fade. The deal, unknowingly to her, has an expiration date. 

By the time the deal’s completed, she’s already half in the dreaming. The later years of her life are spent shifting, and changing how she looks. Showing up one moment to be gone the next. Smiling as an old woman with little teeth but the next second she’s a young woman with a grin. It’s these vanished years that she starts taking on aspects of a raven. Eyes shifting  colors. Hair layered and losing it’s curls. 

When she finally appears again, she has her web spun and tied off. She sees everything & nothing all at once. 

In the end, Revas is just a maddened woman, lost to memories of everyone else and too many voices to count as her own.