#i don’t want anyone to care but i do think i need someone to know that it’s not normal rn

[kams-corner]

it has to be perfect

ellie carpenter x daniëlle van de donk + child!reader

summary: you try to be ellie's perfect little helper

word count: 2,104

trigger warnings: none

“You can’t tell anyone, alright, joey?” Ellie whispered to you.

You shook your head frantically. “I won’t tell anyone, Ellie! Promise!”

“Oh, I dunno about that one. You gotta pinky promise.”

Grabbing her right hand, you linked your pinkies together. “Pinky promise I won’t tell anyone, Ellie! I won’t!”

“Alright then. You can be my perfect little kangaroo helper.” She stood up and held your hand to walk out into the Tillies’ common room. 

“Won’t tell anyone. Has to be perfect for Mumma. I’ll be perfect for Mumma.” Ellie tapped your nose and you scrunched it up at the touch.

“It’ll be perfect, joey, don’t worry.”

—-----------------------------------------

You’d had a good time on your first international break with Ellie. You’d liked her since you met her and the other Tillies were pretty cool too. You spent time with Harper, the other kid at the camp, and Charli and Kyra liked to join in and play with you both. The other Matildas knew that you were Daan’s kid and were super excited to get to know you so they did what they could to include you in any games they played in their free time. You liked that they wanted to play with you and you think it made Ellie happy to see you getting along with her friends.

Now that you were in the Maldives for a holiday with both your Mumma and Ellie though, it was time to set Ellie’s plan into motion… which was a little harder considering you were barely out of your toddler stage. 

“Listen, joey, I’m going to leave early tomorrow before Mumma wakes up, but she can’t know that I’m going to meet someone,” Ellie said to you as she was tucking you into bed. Usually, it would be a shared thing with Daan but the Dutch woman was fast asleep already.

“What do I do?” you said with your eyebrows scrunched in thought.

“Oh, you’ve got the most important job ever: you need to distract her for the whole morning from knowing where I am.”

“You want me to lie to Mumma?” you asked sadly.

“No, no, of course not joey, just distract her by asking her to play soccer with you outside, yeah?”

You nod slowly. “I can do that. And it’s football.”

“Not to an Aussie,” she laughed. “And remember, you can’t tell her our plan.” Ellie placed the blanket over your body.

“I pinky-promised Ellie! I won’t tell!”

“Okay, okay, I believe you.” She gave you your koala plushie to sleep with before kissing your forehead. “Night, night, little roo.”

“Night, night, Ellie.”

—-----------------------------------------

Just as she said, Ellie left early the next morning, before either you or Daan had woken up. When Daan had determined the Australian was nowhere to be found in her room, she was about to search the rest of the home before she heard a soft knock on the bedroom door. She opened it to see you already dressed with a football in your hands.

“Hey y/n have you seen-”

“Want to play!”

“We can play, joey, but-”

“Want to play now!”

“Joey-”

“Please, please, please! We never play much anymore.” You pouted at her, hoping that this would be the way to get her to listen. Sure enough, your Mumma let out a sigh and you know you’d won this one.

“Okay, breakfast first, then we can play. Sounds good?”

“Sound good,” you nodded seriously before placing the ball down at your feet and dribbling it to the kitchen.

“Careful, joey!” Mumma called out after you.

“I am careful, Mumma!” A couple of seconds later, there was an audible crash from the open-plan space in the small resort flat. Daan enters the room to see you looking guilty and a little confused at your crashed block tower on the floor. “Mumma, I broke it.”

“That’s okay, we can build it again later but you have to be more careful, alright?” She opens her arms and you run over to her so she can give you a hug. You love hugging your Mumma and you use every ounce of love you have to give her the best hug ever every time. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Waffles!” you say immediately. “But Mumma?”

“Yes, joey?”

“Can I help make ‘em? I wanna know how.”

“Let’s make waffles together then, yeah?”

You rushed to the bathroom and grabbed your step stool so you could reach the top of the kitchen counter. As Mumma made the batter you watched with your mouth open in awe, wondering how all of those ingredients you handed to her became a thick mixture. Before you could react, your Mumma tapped your nose with her batter-covered finger, leaving some on your face.

“No Mumma! We need it for the waffles!” you told her as you tried to wipe it off your face. Daan carefully swiped the batter off your nose with a cloth and you giggled at the tickling feeling on your face.

“Well let’s make the waffles now, then.”

—-----------------------------------------

You’d successfully distracted Mumma for an hour, something you were very proud of yourself for and you were very excited to spend some time playing your favourite sport with your Mumma in the backyard. Everything was set up perfectly: a small goal in the corner, your Lyon football that Ellie had gifted you the day you met her, and there were snacks on a small table nearby. 

“Alright, do you want to score goals or stop them?” Mumma asked when she’d made it outside with her shoes on securely. 

“Defender! Wanna be like Ellie!” you replied enthusiastically as you ran to stand in front of the goal. Mumma smiled at you and took the ball to start dribbling towards you. You didn’t know why she was smiling at you but you liked it because when Mumma smiled at you, you felt warm and fuzzy inside. She was going easy on you and you both knew that but it didn’t make playing with her any less fun. Mumma and Ellie were both really busy playing football so you liked it when it was just you two in a small grassy area kicking a ball around. 

There was a point where Daan had to try a lot harder to keep you away from the ball and she just knew Ellie must’ve been coaching you in her free time. You were so determined to steal the ball back from Mumma with your eyebrows scrunched together in concentration and your eyes focused solely on the ball as you kicked your feet towards it. 

“Yknow Ellie don’t just stop the ball. She scores too!” you told Mumma once you’d gotten the ball off her.

“That’s right, joey, she does score goals,” Mumma replied as her hands rested on her hips while she watched you.

“You think I can score like Ellie too?” you asked.

“You don’t want to play like me then?” she shot back with an amused smile.

“No, wanna play like Ellie!” you replied determinedly.

“Well, I for one think you can do whatever you set your mind to, little roo,” you heard someone say from behind Mumma.

“Ellie!” You ran up to the blonde and hugged her tight as if you hadn’t seen her for months on end. Daan smiled and took a discrete photo of the two of you before following you into the flat. Mumma kept looking at Ellie with a look on her face that you couldn’t describe but you didn’t really care because Ellie was back and that meant your plan could continue. But there was one thing you had to do first.

“Mumma?” you said, tugging on Daan’s sleeve lightly. She looked down at you with a small smile, encouraging you to continue. “Can we have lunch now?”

“I think Ellie’s got that sorted for you,” the Dutch woman laughed as she nodded at Ellie who was about to get up from her seat.

“I’ll get the bag of food from the kitchen,” she said to you.

“No worry, I’ll get it!” You’d already raced off before Ellie could protest. Daan laughed at the expression on the blonde’s face before leading her outside.

You, on the other hand, had stopped to look at what was inside the bag. There was some Chinese takeout that Ellie had clearly ordered but it was something else that interested you more. A small fuzzy feeling box was in a smaller bag which was at the top of the takeout bag. You didn’t know what it was and Mumma always told you to ask either her or Ellie if you were unsure about something. You found the two women sitting near the pool and tapped Ellie on the shoulder.

“What’s this?” you asked, holding the small box out towards her.

“Ellie… is that…”

Ellie looked at you and gave you a small hug while she whispered in your ear, “we’re changing the plan okay?”

You were very confused. Why would Ellie change the plan now? All you’d done was give her a box and now she looked very nervous and Mumma looked like she was on the verge of crying.

“Let’s take a walk down to the beach?”

Daan nodded and took your hand. You didn’t know why you were going to the beach now because Ellie had said you were going to the beach later but you were more than happy to go now. 

The sand when you got there felt funny in between your toes as you looked for seashells while Ellie and Daan got ready to go in the water. You were ready to go in too but Ellie was standing in one spot and not moving. 

“I swear I had everything planned out but I guess I’ll have to go off-script a bit,” Ellie said as she swayed a little on the spot.

You toddled over to stand in between Ellie and your Mumma, wondering what was happening.

Ellie got down on one knee, further confusing your young brain. “These last two years with you have been… incredible is probably an understatement. Meeting you, meeting joey, getting to know both of you it’s been the greatest honour and privilege of my life. I love you and I love this little family we have and I want to make it just a little more permanent. Maybe make it feel a little more real because I still can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have someone like you. I love you, Daniëlle van de Donk and I desperately want to spend the rest of my life with you so,” she opened the box revealing a ring with a sparkly diamond that caught your eye, “will you marry me?”

Looking up at your Mumma, you could see her eyes were filling with tears. You knew this was Ellie’s surprise for her and you’d messed it up by touching the box which made you a little sad too.

“Yes, Ellie Carpenter, I would love to marry you,” Daan managed to choke out. The two shared a loving kiss and you looked away so you could walk along the shore to find more shells.

“Hey, joey, where are you going?” Ellie called out.

You couldn’t bear to turn around and face her, not after you’d ruined her plan like you did. Keeping your eyes forward, you continued walking towards a shell you wanted to pick up. Daan and Ellie looked at each other briefly and went to follow you. Ellie put her hand on your shoulder to turn you around but as soon as you made eye contact with her, you burst into tears.

“Hey, hey joey, what’s wrong?” Mumma asked in a soothing tone.

“Ru-ruined Ellie’s p-plan. Was su-supposed to be p-perfect for you,” you said between your sobs.

“You didn’t ruin anything, joey,” Ellie assured you.

“I couldn’t have asked for a better moment,” Mumma added. “It was perfect because you were here!”

You sniffled. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” she said.

Ellie and Daan both embraced you and you felt a lot more calm. You were in the arms of your favourite people and that was really all that mattered to you.

“Come on, let’s take a photo, yeah?” Ellie said after she released you. She wrapped one arm around you and one arm around Mumma while the Dutch woman took the photo. The ring was on full display and Ellie had both of you tucked close to her. The photo was posted on Instagram by the two with the caption ‘my people for life ❤️💍’

Even if you didn’t see it at first, it really was the perfect proposal.

[quinnylouhughesx43]

“I think I’m in love”

Summary: Trevor is having a hard time being away from you while he is with Team USA for the Men’s World Championship. Seeing his teammates and crossing paths with other teams with their significant others only intensifies all his feelings.

Warnings: use of pet names (babe, baby), angst, worry/anxiety, overthinking, fluff, I think that’s it

Word Count: 1.34K

It had only been 72 hours since Trevor had left the United States and he was truly miserable. He felt as if every where he looked when he was off the ice there was a couple. It was nearly impossible to not run into someone he knew from the league, just to be introduced to their significant other. “Seriously since when did everyone had their significant other with them.” Trevor asked Matt Boldy as he laced up skate. “Trevor, I think you’re over reacting. It just seems that way to you because your girl isn’t here.” Matt stands to walk off to the ice. Trevor shakes off his thoughts, or tries to shake off his thoughts.

Trevor wasn’t playing well, his focus was off. His heart really wasn’t in it at all. Cole and Luke had taken notice of how he was struggling and were off talking on the side in between drills.

“Do you think this has something to do with his girlfriend?” Luke asked Cole watching Trevor completely miss Brady for the passing drill. “I’m sure it does. I noticed him watching different couples when we were eating last night. I had to remind him it’s rude to stare. I also noticed Z hasn’t smiled like normal since we got here.” Luke couldn’t answer Cole as Trevor skated up and it was their turn to skate. Trevor’s head was lost in his thoughts when Coach dismissed practice. “Let’s go Z! We’re done” Luke yelled out.

After changing and heading back to the hotel the three boys were piled up in Trevor’s room. “Alright man talk. What’s going on with you? You look like you lost your long time pet or something.” Cole said flopping on his back next to Trevor. “I just miss her a lot. She couldn’t or wouldn’t come for some reason. And I’m worried we will grow apart. And, and” Trevor started to stutter over his words. Feeling a knot in this throat forming. Tears forming in his eyes. The pain in his chest that he wrote off as acid reflux earlier started hurting a bit more when his heart raced harder. “And what?” Luke pushed.

“God. I think I’m in love with her and I didn’t tell her. She doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean she doesn’t know?” Cole and Luke ask at the same time. The two boys share a look with each other then look back at Trevor. Trevor shrugs as if it should be the most obvious answer. “We haven’t told each other yet. She’s different you guys. I want to take care of her and provide for her. I look at her and I think about a future. A future where I don’t live in an apartment with in walking distance from the arena I practice and play in. It’s a future where I live in a house big enough for however many children she wants. With a yard so those kids can play outside instead of always being stuck inside. I don’t think about when I can get her naked in my bed. Actually she’s never been naked in my bed. I’ve never seen her naked. But for fuck sake I am in love with her.”

Trevor ran his hands through his hair and exhaled.

“I have never been this serious about anyone. I will go to hell and back for her. I think I am already in hell being this far away from her but that’s besides the point.” The last part earned a laugh out Cole and Luke. The two boys completely baffled by Trevor’s admission about his feelings for his girlfriend. He has always been an open book about most things but never about his feelings.

“Trev, I think it’s time to be honest with her. You need to let her know how important she is to you before she feels neglected.” Cole says giving Trevor a firm grip on his shoulder. “It’s late, we’re going to head out and get rest for tomorrow. Think about telling her and how you want to tell her before you just call her and yap it out there. If she’s endgame, plan it out.” Cole gives Trevor a quick hug before heading out of the room. Trevor feels better letting it all out but he can’t help but mope in loneliness, wondering what you’re doing back home.

While listening to Trevor, Cole was working magic. He had already purchased you a ticket through the US Hockey foundation for a flight. Explaining how down Trevor has been in just the last 72 hours and that he believed you could potentially be the cure all. You were shocked. Confused at best. You kept asking Cole if Trevor had put him up to it. Cole kept assuring you that Trevor has no idea that you have a flight out in the next couple of hours. He asked you, more like begged you, to not say anything to him either. By the time Cole got you your ticket and you had woken up you had 5 hours to pack and get to the airport to be on time for security.

As you were getting ready to turn your phone off Trevor’s face illuminates the screen. He was calling. You quickly decline and shut the phone off. ‘Better safe than sorry’ you tell yourself as your boarding the plane.

When you didn’t answer and then the next calls for the next 14-15 hours. Trevor’s mind was reeling the worry he felt set in deep making him sick, he needed a trash can multiple times. He couldn’t focus anything a while the team was at practice. Trevor ended up leaving practice early from being so sick and his inability to focus on anything. He isn’t one to really leave early, usually he would ride the bench until the end of practice but he couldn’t make himself do it. His anxiety over your safety was much too high. The panic was really starting to set in now that he was alone. Trevor had started thinking of all the possibilities of what could have happened.

1) You had starting ghosting him, he was gone and you realized you didn’t want him.

2) You were in the hospital for some reason or another.

3) Your ex-boyfriend came back around.

He was beside himself with all the thoughts running through his mind. Trevor laid curled up in a ball. Physically sick, a few tears shed, worrying over your well-being when there was a knock on his door.

“Guys I’m really not in a place for—“

“Baby?” Trevor’s voice cracked just as it did when he was going through puberty.

His knees buckled and he all but collapsed down on to his knees wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. “Babygirl. I love you so fucking much. I don’t know how you’re here but I’m glad that you are. I was… I was so worried something happened to you or you were leaving me when you didn’t answer your phone. I just. Fuck. I love you. I’m sorry I never said it before now.” Trevor still on his knees down in front of you, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“T. You..you love me?” You choked out wearing a huge smile on your face. He looks up at you from where he is at on the floor. “Yes baby. Today, tomorrow. Next week, the rest of your life if you’ll let me.” His eyes shining from new tears threatening the fall as your tears weren’t stopping. “T stand up so I can kiss you silly boy.” He quickly followed what you said. Grabbing his cheeks softly and pulling his face to your’s until his lips are just close enough to touch when you speak. “Trevor Zegras, I love you more than you understand.” He groaned in response pulling you into his room. Before the outside world could be forgotten Cole had to run and yell “you’re welcome Zegras” from the room door until he was acknowledged. All Trevor wants to do is lay in bed holding his precious girl, and tell her how incredibly grateful he is that she is there in Ostrava. He can’t wait to have his chance to show her off to everyone tomorrow.

authors note: hi I’ve been sitting on this for a while. I didn’t have a chance to finish the ending for a while and I didn’t go back and read over the actual story part so if it’s bad I’m sorry don’t hate me don’t judge me it’s been like a month

[precious-little-scoundrel]

|| Apologies III | An Ode to Nipples

Warnings: 18+ explicitly written accounts of sex acts and male masturbation, John Egan going on too long about nipples to make up for Julie doubting he liked hers, a joke about their censor wanting to harm himself.

Previous Letter 💌

Full co-authored with my baby @stylespresleyhearted …in fact, majorly authored by her with me only tinkering, she has these two down to a science and let’s all make her take a bow

My dearest,

In trying to be a gentleman it seems I have offended you and for that I must once again apologize. I never meant to make you doubt yourself or that lovely photograph

-I swear to you I sleep with it in my fist, clutched to my chest every night. So no, you see, you can’t have it back. I've already warned everyone else I'll kill them if they ever even try to peek. Balls are on the line for even coming within a yard of my foot locker. I am your virtue’s most valiant defender. Lucky for us, my bunkmate Lt. John Brady is a good man. No threats needed from me to ensure he keeps a wide berth from my new possessions. He’s a good kid - looks up to me according to Buck and that’s a scary thought in itself.

Oh Jean this just all feels like a dream and I’d be heartbroken upon waking up. Buck convinced me to try to be better, that a woman of your status and money and loveliness deserved someone who wouldn’t ramble about giving you babies and A.C.O.R.N but be assured I’ve smacked Buck around the head since because his advice made me hurt you.

It was gut instinct to first write you, and it wasn’t pretty when I did, but if it matched yours, then maybe our guts belong together, no sprucing up needed. I’ll try to keep it that way, I’ll try to keep spilling my guts to you, if that's what you want.

Since receiving your photograph I find myself unable to be satisfied by my doing or anyone else’s. It may interest you to know I went to the bar last Thursday and strenuously chatted up a girl there who had the largest breasts around, but still they and she did not compare to you.

I found myself thinking yours would bounce and hit your chin, and I’d be a gentleman and hold them for you.

Don’t take me wrong, the dame was a good time and she took real good care of me. Let me slip in between her beautiful pair and let me call her by your name.

But she was not you, Acorn, and so I was still left hard as rod and needing more. Needing you. My hand does nothing for me either anymore and all my thoughts are only of you and your magnificent pair that you deemed me worthy enough to look at. And oh Julie, how I look at you! I wonder if you’d blush or just be pleased.

I wrap my hand around myself and I squeeze and I tug and I pull and it takes about three rounds before the little major goes down. Buck tells me I’m going to start chafing soon enough if I keep it up. I’m telling you this in pure honesty and because thinking of you believing for a second that you aren’t the epitome of the dream girl for me kills me. It hurts, Julie Jean and I’ve never hurt for a girl before. Maybe for girls back during my school days but nothing like this and it’s been so long now I can barely remember it.

Women now, as beautiful and charming and smart as they are, they do just to pass the time but you are different. And I promise here and now Miss Turner, that I vow to never try to impress you or be any more of a gentleman than I am. I will be honest with my desires regarding you like telling you I had a dream you took me in that pouty mouth of yours and you were making the most obscene sounds but I knew you were only asking for more. You don’t remember meeting me at the canteen but I remember how tiny you are compared to me and it’d be a struggle to fit all of me in you but we would make it work. Neither of us are ones to give up.

This dream was the first night since my first mission that I haven’t had a nightmare without having to drink.

You’re a goddamn tonic, baby cakes.

I dream of those large nipples of yours and of being able to take them in my mouth. Of tugging on them until they become tiny and angry and pointy. I could entertain myself with them for hours. Since receiving your letter and reading your insecurities on paper that I left you with, I've hated myself every day and I fear I will hate myself until I hear from you again. I hope to hear from you again, Julie. I really do. In this lifestyle it’s frightening for me to think about getting to have a future but you are the light at the end of all this fucked up tragedy I’m surrounded by. Don’t give up on me, Julie Jean, my heart couldn’t bear it. It’s become unalterably attached to you, I swear it. The only gal whose arms I want to come home to are yours. It’d be an immeasurable dream come true; the sweetest reward after the war.

Until I hear from you again my loveliest, favorite lady.

Your fool only,

John

P.S. attached is a photo of me and another one of me and Buck taken by one of our fellow men. I’ve never been one to shy away from anything in life so I’m not afraid to embarrass myself for you and let you know that big, doofus smile on my face (one that usually only a call from my mother or a snarky remark from Buck can illicit) is because the boys were ribbing me about you, Jean. It’s what thinking of you does to me; it brings me happiness during these trying times. Don’t mind Buck. He’s blushing because I’m reminding him he also took great interest in the photograph you gifted me. I’m sorry for that acorn, it fell out of the envelope and he picked it up but it isn’t something I'm sharing with anyone as I’ve assured you. Goodbye for now, sweetest, prettiest, favoritest of ladies -because it is just for now, you’ll hear from me again if I don’t hear from ya first, and with that I fear we’ve just committed our poor censor to the noose.

💋 Hope you enjoyed! Feedback is a writer’s lifeblood, please feel free to scream in comments or the inbox, I love it and wanna hear it all. Trust me, nothing is “too dumb”. Your thoughts mean the world to me.

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[celestie0]

hello, my lil smut for ch 10 enthusiasts!

i know most of you are here for porn without plot, with little to no care about the plot, but let me get something very straight to you: ellie has mentioned before that kickoff is a slow-burn, it’s in tags too (cue: go check them out).

you might be wondering what a slow burn is (i fully believe you have slow comprehension skills, it’s fine, i myself am dyslexic), but for your ease here’s a number of definitions of slow burn from google:

A slow burn is when the romantic attraction between characters builds slowly over the course of a novel or series.

— bookriot.com

If something is a slow burn, or if it happens on a slow burn, it develops slowly.

— collinsdictionary.com

The slow-burn genre in movies is typically characterized by deliberate pacing, restrained storytelling, and a gradual buildup of tension and suspense.

— collider.com

Slow burn love is a love that goes beyond the initial spark of attraction — it is, as the name suggests, a kind of love that requires time and attention, but that can also last.

— slice.ca

next time, i would suggest you all should use google to search for terms you do not understand the meaning of, or better yet when you do understand something (which i am sure you do), you must always consider it and the feelings of the writer before you send insensitive asks to them.

moving on, you all are in fact very horny and need to get laid instead of asking ellie or anyone to write you smut. ellie had specified multiple time that kickoff chapter 10 will not have any amount of smut in it. if you want to read smut jjk fandom is very horny there are at least 2000 smuts of gojo satoru on tumblr and ao3 alone, you should read those. very easy to find them.

anyways, here are the reasons why smut in chapter 10 of kickoff is bad idea:

reader is an introvert, she’s not weak, not insecure, she is an introvert. i am not saying introverts don’t hook up because they do so. but reader is not the kind to hook up the first chance she gets.

reader and gojo are not just two people who are lusting after one another, their feelings are both emotionally and sexually very strong for each other and they respect one another a little too much to jump in to fucking each other and ruining their relationship before it even begins. why will it be ruined? because they both have not bonded as much as you all would like to pretend they have.

it is one thing to have sex with a stranger or a friend you find attractive and not let it interfere with your relationship with a person than doing the same with someone you are interested in. when you like someone, there are emotions involved. there is a lot more that satoru and reader need to sort out before they should consider sex.

they want a long lasting relationship with each other, rushing into sex will hinder that, because when you rush into things you do not let them develop with the ease and smoothness that they would have had had unnecessary stress not influenced the they. for a relationship to be successful, the foundation needs to be strong. you do not build a foundation by fucking each other’s brains out but rather by doing other mature stuff like bonding through conversations and emotional and significant gestures.

remember when reader walked out of that washroom leaving satoru with blue balls? remember when satoru refused to touch her when reader when asked him to? yes, you are invalidating their entire personalities by asking them to fuck each other already.

they each have a personality, and neither falls in the bracket of fucking the person they want to spend their lives with without letting the relationship marinate enough to last.

they began fresh in chapter 9, where reader made it very clear that satoru needs to reassure her of his feelings. you are not reading the same fic that most readers are if you think they have been together for a long time now, because trust me the last 4 chapters have been anything but smooth sailing between them. if that is your definition of “been together for a long time”, maybe reconsider the relationships you have in your present lives because it requires revaluation.

when they established starting afresh, it meant they will rebuild their bond, which means that they will need to go back to square one and start to focus on one another in order to strengthen their bond and state their feelings in a more tangible manner.

when ellie wrote this fic, she created an outline of the plot, the events that would take place and their sequence; you expressing your disappointment will do nothing but demotivate her and it will definitely not make her write that smut for you.

this is ellie’s fic, and the plot in her fic does not allow her to write smut in chapter 10. done.

a bonus:

if you’re asking reader to make gojo jealous maybe consider the fact that they have indeed established semi-exclusivity, and in order to build the foundation of a relationship you need to act petty like pulling cheap stunts to make the other person jealous.

i need you to realise that kickoff is a rather realistic, non-toxic piece of fiction where two people who are into each other are not going to fuck before reassuring the other of their feelings.

wait patiently, and the good will come to you. if you can’t do so and would prefer to send ellie hate, send in passive aggressive messages to make her characters have sex, or give her backhanded compliments disguising your demand for the couple to fuck, you should:

use your creativity, your knowledge of english and write a smutty fic.

go ahead and read one of thousands of other gojo smut.

stay quiet and keep your opinion to yourself, kickoff is free for you. ellie is not your provider, she is sharing the fic with you. if you want her to do something that desperately, negotiate a commission.

anyways, kickoff has healed me.

some of you loudmouthed ones may not care about plot, just the smut, but most of us are here for the plot. we like the plot, we like knowing what’s going on in the lives of the characters. we enjoy their lives, we grieve their loses. let the experience be fun for us and ellie, and leave if you cannot behave in a civil manner.

the only things that’s acceptable of you readers are constructive criticism and love. if you don’t have either of it to give, kindly quieten yourself and close the tab. leaving the fic would be easier than being frustrated over it.

apologies for the mistakes, the ask was written and sent in absolute rage over a small fraction of you very insensitive people.

💌🫶🏼

flowie, i could cry. seriously idk how you manage to know my own story more than i do LOOOL but i swear every time that you reflect so deeply on kickoff, it has me in awe and in tears because i just feel so seen by you. and thank you SO much for standing up n making these points, because they are points that i've really wanted to make but was just too scared to, and i feel so safe to see that you've written this out for me in my defense 😭😭😭

those definitions of slow burn had me tearing up so bad idk why sdfkjdshfklj i think because they take slow burn as more than just "oh two characters wait long time to fuck" and make it into something more, and honestly even i needed to have that put into perspective for me! thank you so much :'')

your understanding for my characters 😭😭 i just i canttskfksjdf. i totally agree 100% w all your points, and they completely align w the creative direction i want to take w my story. i KNOW that sex can be spontaneous, and doesn't always need to be goody goody and within the confines of a relationship. i have enjoyed so many stories where sex is wild n toxic n crazy, because i just think it fits the VIBE of that specific story.

but i've tried to show time n time again w kickoff characters specifically that they aren't as inclined to act on their libidos, at least not when they truly care about someone else AND when they're trying to look out for themselves (like the examples you brought up, w reader putting her foot down during the bathroom sex scene. or when gojo refused to touch reader in the hotel room bc he knew that she would regret it in the morning)

i knowww that readers have different perspectives on these scenes, and i LOVE that. there's absolutely no right or wrong way to interpret a scene, because stories are inherently subjective and are meant to be enjoyed that way. i have interpreted scenes in my own favorite stories very differently from maybe what the author had in mind, or what other readers had in mind. but what i find really upsetting about people expecting me to include smut prematurely is that it makes me feel like you're not really reading my story for what is is, and rather you want me to make it into something that YOU want, disregarding all of my other attempts to really try n show my readers who these characters are. if reader was spontaneous or if gojo was careless, and these traits were shown in the story, then maybe i could understand certain expectations, but i've tried to put thought into showing their personalities, and for certain readers to entirely gloss over it and move straight to "SEXSEXSEX" is really disheartening, n yes demotivating for me as well.

there's a difference between "oh my god it would've been so hot if they fucked in that bathroom, but i guess it makes sense why they didn't...can't wait for them to slut each other out eventually tho!!" and sending me a direct ask that just says "i am so disappointed you're not gonna make them fuck in the next chapter, even though you've spent the past two months working on it and it's 80 pgs long and you haven't even released it yet but i'm still going to be passive aggressive n find fault w it because! me want sex!! me want sex!!"

i think deeply about my stories because they are personal to me. it's like journaling essentially LOL. i've mentioned before that kickoff is an ode to a painful situationship i had my first year of college, and i've also mentioned that reader is based off of a very close friend of mine who i love very dearly n i feel so bad that she doesn't believe in herself at times, and i wanted to show her how much i'm rooting for her through my story. i figured, well if i'm going to write a story, might as well share it w others and i'm a horny bitch so of fucking course there's gonna be smut.

like it's a win win situation for everyone i think?? i get to write what i want, i get to share what i want, n i get to entertain my lovely lil readers, n we all get to interact w eachother n make cute lil headcanons n talk about our days, n then we move on w our lives until next time?? why can't it just be like this, lol. i think if some people just really toned down their entitlement, then the writing community as a whole would thrive.

ANWYASY sorry flowie i didn't really direclty respond to your words, kinda went on a rant here, but tbh i think you said everything i wanted to say :'') so thanks bb <33 LOVE YOU SO MUCH

[cx-boxbox]

I was going to write a fic about Lando wanting to wear pretty clothes, but I gave up after a couple scenes. Anyway, here's the only part I kept:

Lando’s fingers twitch nervously as he collects his packages, fiddling with the corners and ducking under the tape sealing the flaps shut, but he’s careful not to accidentally open them where anyone can see. It was already embarrassing enough to ask the concierge for them, and he cringed at the heavily branded boxes. The lady probably now thinks he has a secret girlfriend or something.

It’s nice out in Melbourne, and Lando is more than happy to swap the polo and jeans he wore to the paddock for a new purple v-neck that’s so soft and light to the touch it might disintegrate between his fingers and shorts that are just a tad bit shorter than the ones he ran around the city in. He has already been photographed without his shirt within days of arriving, so if he does bump into someone, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise.

But it is really just Lando’s luck that he quite literally smacks into his teammate’s back as he rounds the corner.

Oscar straightens with his bucket of ice, blinks at him, and asks, “Where are you going in such a rush?”

Lando folds his arms over his chest.

“Dinner. Not a foreign concept to you, hopefully.”

“‘Course not.” What is a foreign concept is how Oscar’s gaze keeps drifting south, flickering between the plunging neckline of Lando’s shirt and his upper thighs.

Oh, how interesting, he thinks, amused. Out loud, he asks, “Wanna come with? I have no idea which places are trainer-approved.”

It takes a moment for Oscar to shrug and respond, “Sure, why not. Teammate bonding and such, right?”

Lando gasps and plucks the bucket from Oscar’s hands. He pokes Oscar’s shoulder for good measure. “We’re plenty bonded, mate!” Not as much as he’d like, but still. “Just admit that you’re simply leaping at the idea of spending time with me away from the paddock.”

“I’m going to bring you to a seafood restaurant.”

“Aah! No, no, don't do that. I dressed up so pretty, I even shaved, and you’re not ruining my hard work with, eugh, fish.”

Once again, Oscar’s gaze travels over Lando’s figure, and Lando is incredibly delighted to see red tinting his cheeks. He preens a little, which he cannot be blamed for.

It’s so flattering that it more than makes up for Oscar’s simple affirming, “Hm.”

God, Lando would be so over this whole flirting-not-quite-boyfriends thing if it wasn’t so entertaining. He just hopes that Oscar’s patience doesn’t run out before either one of them gives in and just confesses. He also hopes that he isn’t misreading anything either. That would be fucking humiliating.

The little smiles and full-body laughter Lando regularly receives from him keeps him hopeful at best and delusional at worst.

On the way to Oscar’s hotel room, Lando asks what he planned on doing with the ice, and he only receives a shrug and a mumbled, “You never know when you just need a bucket of ice.”

“That’s fair.”

“Speaking of ice, are you going to be cold in just that? It gets cooler in the evenings, and your circulation sucks.”

“A price I’m willing to pay. Have you considered that maybe your circulation is working overtime? That it might be doing too much?” Lando retorts in lieu of admitting that he didn’t actually think that far ahead in his nervous excitement. A green hoodie promptly hits him in the face.

It’s not McLaren merch. It’s OP81 merch, and it smells like Oscar. Lando resists the urge to ball it up and shove his face into it.

“Just hold onto it if you don’t wanna wear it now,” Oscar says before disappearing into the bathroom. He re-emerges in a long-sleeved shirt and trousers that don’t have drawstrings. Lando almost breathes a sigh of relief. Small mercies.

Oscar’s hoodie also ends up being one of those small mercies, and Lando burrows into it comfortably as they take a longer route back to the hotel because the city after dark is nice. Oscar raises an eyebrow at him in his subtly gloating fashion, which Lando ignores in favor of tucking his nose into the collar.

“You look prettier in my hoodie,” Oscar mumbles.

“Huh?”

“Never mind. We’re here anyway.”

[wildpeachfarm]

Hi Moku!

What does one do after taking a fat nap and waking up disoriented? They scroll your blog of course and keep up with the daily news! (And random absolutely serious discussions of underwear 😭).

I saw some mention of CCs moving weirdly again about the Dteam, and teaming with Sapnap for an event, and I’d just like to add my thoughts on the matter.

I feel like this is a common occurrence in the four years I’ve been a fan and part of this fandom. The process literally goes like this:

someone from Dteam (usually dream) gets called out for something, Twitter freaks out and reacts before the “cancelled” party can respond/apologize, upcoming projects are pushed back months/years depending on severity of “cancelation”, unrelated CCs speak out against “cancelled” party (usually Dream), project release is finally approaching and hype is being created, fans and CCs alike suddenly like Dteam again. And then it gets rinsed and repeated till it’s sucked dry.

Only difference in this case was it was George being called out and Dream sticking by his boy, rather than Dream being called out and Sapnap defending him. And it just becomes increasingly more obvious how performative all these CCs and their fans are, the more this cycle rears its big, ugly head.

I think the difference in this situation as opposed to others is that Dteams own friends (if you can even call them that) spoke out against George, and that showed their fans that George is absolutely despicable and irredeemable, making Dream also the same by proxy.

And with this knowledge I raise this question. Why was this situation the one that did it for them? Dream has been accused of everything under the sun (even lost a year of his life trying to prove himself innocent over false allegation), and they all stuck by him-very loudly and proudly, might I add. Why then, do these people choose now to revoke their support and end friendships? Especially without first talking to the accused party? Their friend?

Seeing people associating with Sapnap, the same people who were quick to (very loudly) denounce George leaves a sour taste in my mouth. And the people expecting Dream to just drop George irritates the hell out of me, too. Why is it so hard to remember that these three men are a packaged deal, regardless of how much solo content is produced?

Whilst dream was going through some of the hardest shit in his life, those two stuck by him. When Sapnap was getting called out for joining Kick, they stuck by him. And even now, Sapnap and Dream both released statements saying George is their friend, he made a mistake, and to support Caiti. Reading comprehension must be poor here cause nowhere in either of their statements did they say they’d stop being friends with George. Thats their fucking bro, and they will support him, as he’s done with them.

Everyday I’m further surprised why Twitter clout means so much to people, when that’s not where peoples’ fanbases are. The mob they are constantly trying to appease will turn its back on them the second they get called out. Y’all were quick and loud with your responses (George hadn’t even released anything yet), and now that dreams teasing his project release, yall want in on the hype from that? Sure, but give a public apology to George for the way you jumped to conclusions and basically threw away a friendship. And give him a private one, as well that you actually mean what you say (though we don’t need to know about that one).

“Watch how ccs move the next couple of days” “anyone who does something like that is no friend of mine” (not verbatim) ‘my truth about dream’ “keeping him at arms length”- that’s a whole lot of words to say you’re weak-willed people who don’t support their friends in time of need but actually care more about your image than being a good friend, and I’d hate to have friends like that. I hope if they do try to come back now, they aren’t welcomed back by Dteam. We all know Dream don’t care how people treat him, but he don’t play when it comes George (and Sapnap, but George is the one who was in the hot seat recently). I hope he “keeps them at arms length” for how they responded to the situation, and basically threw away multiple friendships.

Yall don’t get to act the way you do, and then try to reap the benefits of someone else’s hard work and success, especially when you’ve publicly ended your friendship with them. We’ve reached the end of that vicious cycle, but I’m hoping this outcome is different; I’m hoping this time there is no welcoming back for these performative CCs, and they can sit there and reflect on why that is. Maybe then they’ll grow a backbone.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the subject matter. (Don’t know anything in regards to the underwear discussion 😭). I apparently love getting on my soapbox every time I send something, so I thank you for reading it every time.

Have an awesome day, love!

-L :)

Hi L!! Yeah i absolutely agree with pretty much everything you said and I think what made so many CCs jump ship this time was the fact that it was a content creator within the community that spoke out similar to Shelby. However, that does not excuse their poor or extreme reactions to handling the situation.

I do think that the cycle you mentioned is super tiring and I feel like the community needs to do a better job of going "oh you dont fuck with us anymore? okay bye" and not following their actions for months afterwards to hate on them (unless we see hypocritical actions like coming back to hang with our CCs with no prior apology or public support because thats just a bit odd tbh)

I appreciate the soapboxing tbh!! It's always a good read :)

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

you people need to START PUTTING FICS BEHIND A FUCKING READ MORE if you are posting them in public tags we LIVE IN A SOCIETY it is so goddamn rude. it is the internet equivalent of listening to music without headphones. It’s just a common fucking courtesy. I dont want to have to scroll on my phone past 1500k+ words over multiple paragraphs. 500 words without a read more MAXIMUM. AT LEAST YOU COULD TAG IT AS A LONG POST. There’s no excuse anymore if you’re on mobile it allows you to put in a read more cut!! Jesus fucking Christ. Were you raised in a barn. I’ve given up on the whole ‘it’s tacky to tag non-involved characters in a post’ crusade that used to be an internet rule but i am not backing down on this one. Are you youth not also almost entirely phone only as well. What is wrong with you guys. Got damn.

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

[kavehater]

AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s

[floral-hex]

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

ugh had a conversation w someone and i thuink i upset them but also i was in the right

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

[danothan]

i keep wondering why my schedule has been so wonky lately as if i didn’t quite literally get into a car crash less than a week ago

[saetoru]

i think about what alhaitham’s childhood must’ve been like and i honestly make myself very sad thinking about it

[pepprs]

hi update still having an absolutely terrible time

[blkwag]

whether or not people have a reason to not like argentina, the fans are still going to be upset. whatever reason someone has (ex: they don’t like x player, the racism from their fans, the country’s history, etc.) it’s going to trigger their fans. whether someone just simply doesn’t like the team, that’s an issue too. and then the fans wonder why people don’t like the team or them (the fans) like you guys get triggered regardless

and then (on this hellsite), you jump into people’s inbox (anonymously btw) and write a thesis to someone who doesn’t like the team or the “dios” of the team. just leave people alone