#i don't believe there's much of a purpose in life other than enjoying the current day you're in

[cosmicplexus]

Random Astrology Observations

🌻I wasn't feeling lazy today so this is a bit longer than the usual observation posts🌻

🦋And finally the pricing catalogue is here...at the end of the observations 🦋

Thank you so much my sunflowers🌻your support has been everything. I try my best to respond to your messages and requests. If you haven't received a response, I'm coming 🤍✨

And I tried my best to be reasonable with the prices. Also, I'm not yet doing full chart readings as I am a student with two majors and I'm already struggling with balancing things. In time I will do them. Free one question culture requests are still open, but please don't request for things you see on the pricing catalogue like a big three reading...

I don't want to bore you all too much so here we go🧚🏾‍♀️🦋🌻✨

Astrology Notes...

~4th house Gemini makes for someone who develops family-like bonds in friendships.

~taurus risings tend to be possessive due to the influence of their scorpio 7th house.

~pluto at angular houses 1st, 7th, 4th and 10th is a huge indicator of someone who has had intense experiences in the respective key areas of life and there's spiritual lessons to be learnt regarding that area through transformation.

~libra venus placements may find it really hard to stay single

~7° and 19° venus or moon signs may struggle with the theme of physical perfection and wanting to attain it.

~virgo moons have a tendency of creating problems if they don't have any current ones to solve

~capricorn risings really do look older in their younger days and younger when they're older.

~moon and neptune in 1st house natives may give off the perception that they need saving and may attract people with a martyrdom complex.

~sagittarius, 9th house, 9° and 21° mercuries may have an affinity to music in foreign languages while cancer, 4th house, 4°,16°,28° may enjoy music in their mother tongue

~jupiter in 2nd house and 10th house is heavy lotto winner vibes. Literally and figuratively.

~mercury in 2nd house and at Taurean degrees(2°,14° and 26°) are the born singers

~the 22nd degree is an underrated fame degree...I have a bey's🐝 fame analysis I've been sitting on for a while. That's a conversation for another day.

~pisces venus and mars are the most romantic people in the world which makes me kind of believe the astrology theory of neptune being the higher frequency of venus.

~leo moons really take their hair seriously and may feel out of loop if their hair is not well done.

~want to easily impress a cancer mars man??? Sing praises to your mom. Be dotting around kids.

~girls with 9th house, 9° and 21° Venus are so magically beautiful. Abundance of beauty.

~To a decent degree, liberation of women in society came at the expense of gemini, sagittarius and aquarius venus women being slut-shamed(This is not at all saying other women did not contribute to the liberation of women 🌻✨ That's a conversation for another day)

~neptune plays a huge role in beauty trends and that's why neptune dominant women are usually the beauty influencers which explains why beauty standards are mutable and ever changing.

~jupiter in 7th house can go two ways... extreme luck in meaningful relationships or someone who never has serious relationships and is forever on the look...

~pisces/12th house mercuries and mercury afflicted by neptune are often under fire for being the liars when the real culprit is the sagittarius/9th house mercuries and mercury-jupiter hard aspects.

~I personally view the north node as a jupiter variant. While the general consensus is that it is the purpose we're working for, I do believe that it's also an indicator of our birthrights, innate gifts and where we're lucky.

~Cosmic Plexus🌻🤍

§~PRICE CATALOGUE~§ ~PAID READINGS COMMENCE ON THE 16th of May 2024 🦋DETAILED BIG THREE READING ~ $6.00

🦋5 IN-DEPTH SYNASTRY QUESTIONS READING ~ $9.00 🦋OVERALL SYNASTRY ADVICE ~ $3.00

🦋SPIRITUALITY AND PURPOSE FOCUSED READING ~ $6.00 🦋CAREER ADVICE ~ $3.00 🦋 RELATIONSHIP REMEDY TIPs $3.00

Let me know your thoughts...

~Cosmic Plexus🤍✨🌻🦋©️

[fluffy-bluffy]

What People Admire About You and Your Future Spouse's Relationship

Hello everybody ✨ Another short pick a card for you people. In the last poll lengthy pacs won by a great margin but there are a few people who would love to read short pacs. So, I would love to give out both kinds. I hope you guys enjoy reading regardless of the length :)

Just a warning that this is a general reading and it is only for entertainment purposes. So take what resonates and leave the rest for others.

Let's get started 💪🏻

Pile 1 ---- Pile 2 ---- Pile 3

Pile 4 ---- Pile 5 ---- Pile 6

Pile 1 🪻

Hello pile 1 🪻 here is your reading please enjoy :)

You guys might be the power couple and people will admire the tremendous social position, money, grandeur, accomplishment, and self-sufficiency that you and your partner holds. People would love how sincere and loving your relationship is and like you both are no nonsense person when it comes to each other. The feminine energy in the pile would make an excellent mother, a gracious guest, and a capable housewife. It is like people love to talk to you guys as a couple and you guys might have a little different perspective on world than from others.

For some of your I am also seeing you guys could be really popular maybe you are into social media or just popular in your community or the area where you live. It is quite possible that you might attend a lot of parties and gatherings together or host multiple parties and gatherings. Either way I am seeing that people love how you are a power couple but still there is a gentle and calm and caring vibe which come from here you and your partner. I am seeing immense success for both of you but again you guys are not egoistic or arrogant about it. People will love your down to earth nature.

People will feel like you guys balance each other very well. Some people might also think that you are blessed by the universe and you have everything that an ideal relationship should have.

It is quite possible that you both have individually suffered a lot and the people around you know about your suffering and they believe that because you endured so much you both have got each other. And no matter what life throws at you you both are gonna handle it with grace.

Your life will be filled with peaceful and calm energy you don't let the outer world or the external factors affect your relationship. People might also admire how you bring freshness to the table and a child like energy. 

Okay I am getting a scenario over here. Let's say you have both gone to a small get together and a lot of people are present there you acknowledge everyone you talk to everyone and then you both are so in grossed into each other that anything else doesn't matter and your closed one maybe the immediate relatives will notice this like it is possible that you both are just sharing jokes sitting in the corner or maybe judging people in a friendly manner. You are not bother about anyone else just the two of you laughing and having the best time of your life.

Pile 2 🪻

Hello pile 2 🪻 here is your reading please enjoy :)

People would admire your relationship that how you both are very understanding and considerate about each other even when you guys are fighting or let say you had a big argument still you people will solve it logically and keep another person's feelings in mind. I see no rash decisions here. A very calm and peaceful life. With no dramas at all. Very loving and harmonious partnership.

The masculine energy in the relationship will literally spoil the female energy. He is going to pamper her like there is no tomorrow.

People would love how confident you both are on each other. You people would be the kind of couple who would hear rumours about each other and laugh at them together. I am seeing a lot of trust over here. But it has not always been like this you guys have gone through your fair share of rough patches.

People admire how balanced you are it is like you guys are beautifully dependent on each other but also independent of each other.

You have a personality outside of the relationship you have friends outside of the relationship there are friends who are not your mutuals and that is something admire worthy.

People who did really admire how you understand each other. Not just each other but you guys might be understanding individuals in general. For example you bought something online and it was not as you expected it to be. So, you understand that it is not the fault of the application but the seller. And you would not thrash them.

I'm also seeing that the feminine energy in this relationship is going to be little bit of workaholic.

You both make adjustments for each other and all in all people see how it takes effort from both sides to keep a relationship running.

Pile 3 🪻

Hello pile 3 🪻 here is your reading please enjoy :)

People would really admire the efforts you both put into this relationship. How invested you both are into each other when seen together.  I am also getting for the one's who want kids that you will raise them right. I mean with morals and ethics and discipline and that is something people will admire about you and your person.

Both of you might have long-term vision and I am also getting that before meeting each other you guys might have felt lonely. Like even though you had good friends but somehow whenever you needed them the most they were not there for you. That is why you guys might as well fear getting attached to somebody and they will get you out of this fear or vice versa because they will forever be there for you.

You both could be curious souls wanting to get your questions answered. Someone seeking adventures. Hence a lot of trips and travelling meeting new people and socializing. Exchanging ideas,thoughts having deep conversations. People would admire your company it is like you both complete each other. The other one will look a little dull if not together with you and vice versa. Very good communicators. People could really admire how communicative you are to each other and also very approachable not the kind of people to judge everyone around them. Very motherly vibes from your couple pile 3 but you guys are fierce also when required.

It is the balance that people like about your relationship. The duality both of you hold.

Even when you guys fight with each other passion and love is dripping from your voices. I am in the university while I am doing this reading for you and suddenly there is a light that never goes out by the Smiths starts playing. It might have some message for you pile 3. It is a wonderful song. Go check it out.

People also admire your commitment and dedication towards eachother. And the efforts that you undertake to keep this relationship moving and keep the spark on.

Pile 4 🪻

Hello pile 4 🪻 here is your reading please enjoy :)

People admire how calm your relationship is. You both don't like to indulge in unnecessary dramas and for a very small portion of you guys I am also getting arranged marriage. It is possible for like some of you. Also how you both help each other through the tough times. There is something about this part. Maybe you helped each other get over a loss that the people around you witnessed.

I am also seeing people would admire you you both reconcile after the arguments it is kinda cute seeing how you both would respectively ask your friends help to throw them a sorry party or something of that kind.

I am at my university doing this reading and they They start playing until I found you by Stephen Sanchez  and somebody to you by the vamps. Do check out these two songs they might have some messages for you.

People admire how you never let any third person take control of your love life. It is always just the two of you creating problems and solving them on your own.

The balance is everything in your relationship. Some of you might have this thing of being sad like all of a sudden.

People admire how creative you both are. You both can also be good manipulators and would know how to get things done.

Pile 5 🪻

Hello pile 5 🪻 here is your reading please enjoy :) 

They could be someone in this pile who does not want kids but they would still have  fur babies because of which society might judge them but still they will be very happy and content with their choice.

People with simply admire how happy and loving you are family there is no arguments. Even if you guys have conflicting thoughts you both sit individually and try to resolve it in your head first at then with each other.

I am seeing a lot of wisdom in this relationship from both the partners.  People would also admire how rich you both are. It could be inherited. Also some of you could be really good with kids.

Also how you both don't rush each other into decisions. Every decision you take you have done proper planning and weighted ever pros and cons. You both hold this incredible power of being able to manipulate anyone for anything you want. You guys are like 'don't mess with' couple because you guys can literally bring the other person on their knees and make them beg. You people are far from wasting time always and always trying to do something productive with your time something new. All your decisions are very calculated and I am getting a very wise energy from both of you.

People believe that you both are satisfied in your relationship and that yours is a ideal kind of relationship and many would want to have such a bond with their partners like you both have. People would admire how you both complete each other and are so into each other that before the other one says you know what they want. People might also love that you guys are truly happy and comfortable in your own skin  because of which you are care free , loving people with a positive outlook on life.

People admire how you both emotionally fulfill each other. There is peace and good fortune in your life. Also you both may showcase a lot of gratitude towards the universe.

Pile 6 🪻

Hello pile 6 🪻 here is your reading please enjoy :)

People admire your creativity and courage. And also the fact that you both are not afraid to see the moment because you both believe that taking chances will yield exceptional results. People also admire how hard working you both are and are not going to lose on opportunities just because it asks for hard work. They admire how you both are constantly pushing forward with new ideas and this drive is a company by an individualistic nature as well. You both look great together but individually as well you hold a position. People admire how passionate fun and full of adventure your life is.

You both balance the forces for each other both negative and positive and your ability to navigate through emotional turmoil like inner conflict as well as conflict with others ultimately dictate your outcome.  You both can see the gravity of the upcoming situation with a clear head you are never clouded with confusion and always think rationally before making any important decisions. You both might as well be very private with your relationship not sharing much online on social media or with your friends and family as well so there is always this admiration towards how your life actually is with each other. It is also possible that you guys are not sharing your celebrations but also your hardships like the problems you are facing in the relationship. It is possible that one of you uses their heart to make decisions while the other takes them from their head so it brings a beautiful combination to the table of both because you respect each other so you listen to each other.

Both of you could be very curious which would always keep you both on the verge of exploring. I am also getting that both of you are very clever and can go to any extent to get your work done. You might have your life as very private but you are well informed about others or what is in trend right now and really good conversation starters because you have information about everything like what ever is going on in the town. People believe that you both are destined to become successful and it is just a matter of time. When you both are together there is a charisma which can draw the best of the best to your side. You both have built a solid foundation for each other and if one of you falls other one is always standing there to help and get you back on the feet. People admire how honest you both are with each other even though you guys are private but if you have small arguments or something of that sort in public you are very honest about it and try to address it with your partner right then and there. You guys might have the rule of not going to bed angry or something of that kind. I am seeing a lot of sarcastic people as well over here.

People would admire how you both travel and explore different things. Both of you are dreamers and hold the capability of turning your dreams into reality. You guys are over competitive and some people in your circle love that about you because that always keeps them on the verge of their seats and helps them to grow. They know that you both are the kind of person who will stop at nothing to reach your goals.

Thank you so very much for reading this PAC. Will be bringing more soon. Byeee

[pix-writes]

Do you think Stan and Ford care for appearances? And do you think they have a certain type or is something they don't think much? Love your writing btw 🥹

A/N: thank you! I'm glad you like it 😊

Well, thinking about the pines twins they have certainly had rough lives and been thrust into environments/situations where taking care of themselves and their appearances aren't top priority, so I think especially at their current age, they're not likely to be judgemental on appearances when it comes to a prospective partner (plus ford and stan canonically have tattoos/scars they're embarrassed or insecure about!)

Stanford I think especially so, in the sense that appearance to him is less of an issue to him than the contents of your brain, any quirks of yours filed away as fascinating eccentricities of a person of remark. He knows full well what it's like for people to judge you based on the surface, since many will freak out over his six fingers and whilst curious about you, will also be sensitive to insecurities you may have 🥹

I think Ford would want someone who is at least a little orderly like he is, his environment can be quite scattered with papers and experiments, sure, but he has had to take care of himself and his appearance jumping dimensions, so he believes you can do it if he does :) (says the man who lights his face on fire instead of shaving cause it's 'faster' 😅 and eats nutrition pills instead of lunch - you can teach him a thing or two as well!)

Stanley on the other hand does often jokes around about lots of things to do with general appearances, including ribbing dipper and mabel, though he's very quick to notice when someone is feeling upset/insecure or potentially angry to not take it as a joke or might find it cutting (it's just that most of the people he does this to are people he wants to anger on purpose lol 😂 thinking of the dunk tank). But you're not a person to scam, so I feel he'd be sensitive to that, underneath the exterior he's fairly sensitive himself and as we've seen with dipper, he wants him to be tough, not just physically but to have a thick skin when it comes to being judged by others, you can't stop doing things in life just cause others wanna bring you down! That's why he does tease sometimes and it can seem mean from the outside, but he simply wants you to be stronger than you already are.

Stanley has some pretty 'trashy' tastes we could say, but takes care of his appearance as mr mystery, so I think he'd enjoy being with someone who also likes to dress up a bit to go out, but if you stay at home all day and don't put on a pair of pants, it'd be incredibly hypocritical for him to judge. And you can be gross together which is way better than being gross alone (questionable).

I hc that they'd both be interested in someone curvy/plus sized cause I like that idea in particular 1) bc I'm fat 2) bc in the eras they grew up in 'skinny' was all the rage, so I like to think of them of going against the grain and liking a more classic figure/not caring about toxic beauty standards. But I also think that they truly have no particular preference! Both of the twins like vintage styles, having grown up in the 50/60s and young adults in the 70/80s.

But yes, in summary TL;DR, the pines twins don't give many fucks to appearances, as long as you're taking care of yourself to the best of your ability, it's actions and personality that attract them more 💕

[astraystayyh]

skz quotes series masterlist

these are the fics i am currently working on, where the quote is part of the dialogue or it inspired the fic as a whole!! brainstorming these was very fun, i hope you'll enjoy reading it <3 2/8 done.

chan x reader. soulmates!au. strangers to lovers.

in a world where you can only see colors once you meet your designated soulmate, you already know that you and chan weren't destined for another. but maybe, just maybe, the stars were wrong about you both.

"on purpose. i love him on purpose." - Casey Mcquinston.

Echoes of love- minho x reader. lovers to (one sided) strangers. memory loss trope. [posted]

if given the choice to, would you love minho again? yes, you would've once said in a heartbeat. but now, you aren't sure of your response anymore.

"to love someone is to firstly confess, I'm prepared to be devastated by you." - Billy-Ray Belcourt.

changbin x reader. fwbs with so much emotional and physical tension.

things were clear and simple between you and changbin- a strictly physical relationship with no strings attached. until those same threads bursted at the seams, making you question everything you thought you knew about him.

"if i kissed you right now, i don't think I'd be able to stop." - unknown. & "please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it" - Mikko Harvey

hyunjin x reader. art students. forced proximity. slow burn. hanahaki disease!au.

working on an assigned art project for three months with hyunjin is an easy task, right? not so much when you're both exactly what the other is afraid of, and simultaneously, terribly longing for.

"f i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more." - Jane Austen.

Volcano- han x reader. enemies to friends to lovers. uni au. [posted]

you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. it's rotten work. not to me, not if it's you." - Anne Carson.

felix x reader. exes to lovers. second chances. [au is yet to be determined]

in which you meet your ex felix years down the road, and you realize that maybe, just maybe, the love never truly deserted your heart.

"for a while it was love, wasn't it? for me, it was love." - Unknown.

seungmin x reader. best friends to lovers with a taste of unrequited love.

seungmin believed he was content with only being your friend. of being the one picking up pieces of you that others carelessly broke. but in the depths of his bruised heart, he desperately needed you to stitch him back together, for once.

"oh god, please. please. love me. love me. desperation sits heavy on my tongue." - a.m.

jeongin x reader. strangers to lovers.

jeongin hated the commute he took daily from his hometown to his work in Seoul. Until the day you stepped in the train and sat on the seat facing him, changing his view of this train ride, and his life.

"on the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and i wanted to look at you." - Mahmoud Darwish

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

the taglist for this series is closed, there is no set schedule nor a particular order. comment or send me an ask if you want to be added. (general taglist is also open :))

p.s: if u happen to know whose the owner of these quotes, please tell me. most of them come from tiktok slideshows ajdjdh

[thoughtfulbearpanda]

February 2024 Pick a Card

Piles 1 -> 2 -> 3

Hi there! This is a timeless reading, so remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. Remember that you have free will and nothing is set in stone. Yes, this is intended for entertainment purposes but if any serious topics that come up in these readings that you find yourself resonating with, please seek aid or professional help if you are inclined to do so. Also, if anything in this reading is triggering for you don't feel the need to continue reading; please prioritize your mental and emotional health.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

PILE I

Okana Oracle: Reconcile, Grandma's Baby Lenormand: Whip & Heart, Tarot: 6 of cups rx, 2 of wands, 4 of cups, the Tower rx, 9 of cup rx

What I see you going through in the month of February pile 1 is you walking away from something. With the 6oc rx coupled with the 2ow there may be a decision you will have to make, and this decision could lead to you letting go of past connections, I’m getting ‘leaving the nest' for some of you. Some of you could be moving away, beginning your own chapter of life solo; some of you could be traveling overseas in the month of February, or just simply moving out of house and getting your own place. 

There is also this aspect of fear, not really knowing what you’re getting into, there is the sense of naivety. This could be towards a new job, maybe a change of career path or change in career studies for those who are still in school. This could be a small few of you but some of you may be weighing the decision to drop out of college or school. College/school/work may no longer be as exciting for as when you first started and you may be thinking about just calling it quits, but are delaying this decision because you may not have a backup plan and/or you don’t want to disappoint your loved ones. It’s like ‘I no longer enjoy this.’; ‘What if there is more for me out there?’; ‘What will my loved ones think?’; ‘What if I don’t have a back up plan and this ends being a mistake?’

Life is not full of easy choices. Every day we are proven that life is short. For those who resonate with the school/college message, I am not here to tell you what you should do BUT do what you believe is best for you. College is not for every one, but if dropping out is an option you are considering than have a back up plan ready for when you do. Figure out what you are going to do afterwards. Don’t just dive into this particular decision blindly.

I see you going through transformation pile 1. Some of you may have felt like you lost your spark, your joy, your purpose in life. I see you gaining that back in the month of February. You are going to start making decisions that make YOU happy, that bring YOU joy. February is the month where you consider how to get closer to your ultimate goal in life, and how you can rediscover your sense of purpose.

Shadow Message: Reconcile - “love yourself for only then can you love others” -> What is something that you find yourself struggling to let go of? What is this thing that is depleting you? Is it a job? Is is friends? Family? A partner, past or present? Do you find yourself pouring so much of yourself into this thing and/or person (people) that you barely have enough to pour into yourself? To whomever this resonates, it is time to take a look at your current attachments and come to terms with whether it is healthy or if you are simply a victim of codependency. Is this thing or person feeding off of you? If so, then it is time to cut the cord on that. Do some 'spring cleaning'. For some, it may not even a person or a job. Sometimes it just simply clearing out the old within your space, getting rid of old clothes, trinkets, furniture etc., to make room for the new. Find what is weighing you down emotionally, spiritually, mentally; find what is depleting your happiness and take the necessary steps to rid yourself of it.

Message(s) from the Ancestors: Whip & Heart - 'Sacrifice' & 'Love' -> Whip: "Everyone must pay. Nothing worthwhile or lasting was ever achieved by simply wanting it to be ours...sacrifice and work move things further than desire alone." Love: "There is an infinite supply of love for us to draw on, whether from platonic or romantic relationships, living or dead...but if we often lose ourselves in the need to nurture others, hiding in them to avoid being in ourselves...we must learn to love ourselves so deeply we find joy in solitude instead of heartbreak."

Final Messages:

"What is past is gone, what is hoped for is absent, for you is the hour for which you are."

"Wisdom outweighs strength."

"A snake that you can see does not bite."

"You cannot blindfold a man and expect him to ferry you across the river."

"Whoever stands in the need of honey should not be afraid of bees."

~additional messages: unexpected good fortune, generosity, possible travel, changes, postponement, disappointment and opposition

**PROVERBS 15:13 and DANIEL 10:6 for some of you**

PILE II

Okana Oracle: Grit & Confide, Grandma's Baby Lenormand: Rider rx & Clouds, Tarot; Page of swords, Queen of wands, 9 of cups, 7 of swords rx, & ace of wands Rx

The month of February is going to be very abundant for you pile 2. I see you socializing and being so vibrant and free, being the talk of the town. I'm getting 'social butterfly'. This month is going to be raining down blessings for you with the 9oc here. I see you filled with so much gratitude and happiness. Wishes will be coming true for you in the month of February; whatever you have been wishing for, praying for, hoping for, it will come true. I see you getting that dream job, dream car, dream house. Whatever you've been wishing for, you will be receiving it this month. Some of you could be starting a new project or job, and I see you being so excited about it. You have this eager, 'go getter' energy.

With the QoW here, a feminine figure could be significant for some you. This person could be mature, or just has a lot experience and wisdom under their belt. Who knows how to work a room, use their charm and charisma to achieve their goals. I see this person being some sort of a mentor figure to you this month. Someone that will help you harness this vibrant, off the walls energy that you may have. I see you shadowing this person, soaking up all the knowledge that she has to offer. *Be sure to take head from whatever advice this person gives you*

For some of you, there could be some snakes in your mists. In the month of February you may find yourself being on the receiving end of a lot of 'evil eye'. I see you being highly favored in the month of February, and with that comes with a lot of jealousy and attempts at sabotage. You may end up encountering a lot two-faced people; those who smile in your face but are quick to pray and revel in your downfall. Some of you may be up for promotion or have been promoted - BE CAREFUL. Be wary of those who are quick to befriend and try to get into your circle. It's like that saying 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' - that is the mentality of these haters toward you. Just know that secrets don't stay buried and will eventually come to light. Karma never misses, so whatever these potential sabotagers have planned will back fire. You are protected by the Divine and your Ancestors.

The month of February, some of you may find yourself consumed with the drive to get something started. There may be an idea/project that you are trying to get off the ground to this point where you are obsessing over it. You are trying and trying and becoming more and more frustrated because it's not going the way you planned. With the ace of wands rx, you are being called to take a break. Step away from the idea/project and allow yourself to breathe. When we are so hyper focused on something, it can become easy for use to become consumed by to the point where we forget why we started said project/idea; and in some instances lose our passion fro what we do. That's why in moments of frustration we need to take a step back, put on pause on things. If this resonates, Spirit is prompting you to take a look out where you are, how far you've come, and remember why you started. Stop and smell the roses. Allow yourself to look at it from a different perspective.

For others, there could be a whole idea that you abandoned completely because it never got off the ground, someone may have told you that idea is not good, or maybe you felt like it could never be. Maybe it's time to revisit that project/idea from a new, fresher lens.

Shadow Message: Grit & Confide - Grit: "when a needle falls into a well many people will look into the well, but very few will go down after it" -> Take a look at yourself this month and ask yourself 'Am I biting off more than I can chew?', 'Am I involving myself in projects or places that do not pertain to me?', 'If I am doing all these things: why?' If you find yourself spiraling or just taking on so much, unnecessarily, maybe it's time to take a step back from it. It's good to have drive to have that grit/conviction but not to the point where it is at your own detriment. It can be easy, being caught up in 'the grind' and all but we also have to remember to take breaks; Confide: "all things are good to eat, but not all things are good to say" -> February is looking to be an abundant month for you, but remember to not get caught up in the high. You may be on the receiving end gossip, but try not to perpetuate the same behaviors as your haters. If find yourself engaging gossip with others ask yourself 'Is it true?', 'Is it kind?', 'Are these people doing the same thing to me behind my back?', 'Will they go back an twist my words to said person?', 'Why are they trying to get me involved gossip to begin with?'. Remember: Karma. Never. Misses.

Message(s) from the Ancestors: Rider rx & Clouds - 'Intention' & 'Denial' -> Rider rx: "Don't be hasty, Baby. Before taking action, we must be clear on our intention. And be certain our actions align with that intention." Clouds: "Clouds can be information that is hidden and outcomes that are uncertain...we must know truth before we know miracles, and what is before we know what can be."

Final Messages:

"Not to know is bad, to not wish to know is worse."

"Fire surrounded by elders cannot burn you."

"Luck at times will visit a fool, but it never sits down with him."

"Truth cannot be hidden forever beneath evil."

"He who wakes up early in the morning receives bundle of blessings."

~additional messages: good luck coming to you, harmony, property, achievement, love, dark-haired woman who is strong, helpful and attractive, warning of loss of friendship

**EXODUS 24:15 for some of you**

PILE III

Okana Oracle: Harmony & Reconcile, Grandma Baby Lenormand: Fish & Mice, Tarot: 10 of swords, 2 of cups, Knight of wands, 5 of pentacles rx, ace of swords rx

Are some of you in a relationship, pile 3? Or is there someone on your mind? Cause with the 2oc here there is a potential for love to blossom for you in the month of February. You could have met this person or will meet this person and you guys hit right off the bat. The knight of wands indicates that you and this person will 'click' so fast, and so unexpectedly. This person could be a fire sign; they could be someone who is vibrant, and has a lot of energy and passion to them. They could be 'go-getter', someone who acts before they thinks, who likes to dive into things head-first. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a romance either. This could be someone who you will end up having a genuine bond and connection with. This person could be a bit of foil to you if you are more on the shy side, or this is someone who will match your energy.

Some of you may have dealt with betrayal in the past, like been backstabbed by a person/people that you've trusted. This has possibly resulted you in having trust issues, you questioning the motives of those who try to get close to you. This connection coming in is going to help you heal those wounds. This connection coming is someone you can trust and they are going to prove that to you. They will be patient with you. Maybe this person coming in has probably dealt with same thing, and this connection will be healing for both of you.

For others of you, you may have fallen on hard times in the past pile 3. Some of you may have dealt with a lot of spiritual warfare. What I mean by that, is that you may have been feeling empty spiritually. Doubting your religion, your ancestors, spirit guides, or even the concept of spirituality itself. *With everything that has been going on in the world, I can understand* Maybe you've hanging on to this concept of religion or spirituality in hopes it will make your life better because that's what you've been told, only to be met with disappointment after disappointment. Maybe recently you've had one too many disappointments and began to question yourself: 'Am I doing something wrong?' 'Why isn't working?' 'Am I just playing myself for a fool?'

I see you starting to come back to that pile 3, because you can't ignore the call forever. I see rekindling your relationship with the Divine, with God, your Ancestors, whomever you believe in. That tarot deck that you've put away? You're dusting off and getting back into the swing of things. That altar that you abandoned, walked away from? I see resetting it and familiarizing yourself with your guides, with your gifts. And honestly, sometimes walking away is needed pile 3. It's okay to take a break for a while, reconnect with yourself, ground yourself, and find your way back to it eventually.

Shadow Message: Harmony & Reconcile - Harmony: "where there is life, there is always hope" -> You could be dealing with bouts of loss or despair in February. Have you lost all hope of being happy? Content? Have you lost hope in ever being able to trust again? Have you become a glass half-empty, glass half-full kind of person? It's time to confront those doubts, pile 3. Time to challenge those negative beliefs you've become accustomed to. Make the effort of bringing harmony and positivity back into your life; Reconcile: "love yourself for only then can you love others" -> It is time to heal pile 3. Heal those wounds. Hanging onto that hurt is giving the person who hurt you more power over you. What is something you have trouble letting go of? Is it the betrayal? The backstabbing? Is it becomes you should have saw it coming? Are you ready to let it go? Are you ready to move on?

Message(s) from the Ancestors: Fish & Mice - 'Gifts' & 'Fear' -> Fish: "If we give birth to what is within us, what is within us will save us. If we do not give birth to what is within us, what is within us will destroy us." Mice: "If we feed fear, we will be eaten alive."

Final Messages:

"You can kill the identity of a man on earth, but you cannot kill his spirit."

"Respect begets respect."

"Even as the archer loves the arrow that flies, so too he loves the bow that remains in his hands."

"The path to wisdom is a lifelong commitment."

"It is the one who lives in the house that knows where the roof leaks."

~additional messages: friendship, success, business meetings, reliable friend, conflict, love, affair, worry and fear

**JONAH 1:17 for some of you**

That's all I have for you! Thanks for reading! Stay safe, stay blessed!

Asé

[quennofsblog]

Everything you let go

Sae Itoshi x fem!reader

Itoshi Sae is confused when his wife suddenly becomes ill.

Warning: normal things ; Sae here is already a professional player and is married with the reader and adult; They have children; sorry :( ; English is not my first language and there will probably be mistakes.

Notes: This is my first story on Tumblr (and any other place) so sorry for the bad plot... I hope you like it so enjoy😉. (This is the first story written that was never published, the first was Rosy cheeks by Suguru Geto.🫡

Sae couldn't believe what he was seeing, what was supposed to be a moment of great happiness, soon turned into a big concern for him.

Their second child was finally born, it took a long period of nine months to having a second blessing in your life, but if this is a blessing, why is the person who made it possible bleeding so badly?

Your second pregnancy wasn't one of the best, you were much more tired than the first, there were many more complications, but Sae thought it was normal, after all, no pregnancy is easy.

But he couldn't react when he saw blood coming out of his mouth straight to the fluffy blanket that wrapped his little baby, he saw in his eyes the despair in his eyes and soon he felt it too when you saw your body relax too much and his arms fall to his sides, his excellent reflexes reacting in time to catch the small human in his arms.

He looked at you in shock when he see your body passed out for a few seconds before quickly leaving with the baby to seek medical help.

...

"Sae-chan I don't have much time here..."

You exactly said that a few days before your wedding, Sae knew what those words could mean but didn't know why, he feels this tightness in his heart now for not asking anything at the time, maybe something could have changed-

"Sir Itoshi-san?" A middle-aged man appears around the corner to find Itoshi Sae with a sleeping baby in her lap sitting in uncomfortable hospital chairs. He didn't even know how much time had passed since he witnessed his sudden fainting spell, Sae could only think about what triggered his current state.

Then he looked up to meet the doctor's eyes that were already looking at him with some pity. "Yes? How is she?" The player asked with the coldest possible look that even the poor doctor shuddered before giving him the expected answer. "She's fine sir. But due to the stress of the pregnancy her illness has worsened and there may be complications in the future, you can go see her if you like." Soon the doctor left, leaving Sae almost on the verge of madness.

He got up quickly, gently squeezing the baby who didn't move the whole time, Sae could feel the small breaths on his neck, and he even caressed the small human, but his growing anger wouldn't allow it, when he just wanted explanations.

Finally opening the door of his room he found you looking through the open window and letting the wind ruffle your hair, for a moment he forgot his purpose there and just wanted to stop everything and stay in that place looking for its beauty, even after so many years, you could still manage to be the one to give him those damn heart palpitations that he always tried not to feel.

But it seems that the baby in Sae's arms also feels the mother nearby and soon the intense cries of a newborn baby are heard. Her head instantly turns to find her husband and baby, Throwing a gentle smile at the two, you beckoned them with your fingers to get them closer, knowing what was going to happen, you soon advanced.

"Don't even put on that pretty face, Sae-chan, you know my condition well." you extend your arms to indicate for Sae to give her the baby that wouldn't stop crying, Sae hands it to her without saying anything and watches her lift her blouse and feed the baby who soon calms down.

Sae keeps looking at you waiting for explanations from you. "I told you I didn't have much time, did I? I have this plague even before I met you, and well it's gotten worse since the birth of Akira, I just didn't want to worry you or Akira and even this cutie, it is not Muroko-chan?" You said caressing the little hands, while the baby held one of your fingers and had her eyes closed, already ready to fall asleep in her mommy's arms.

"If that was the goal, it failed... a lot, you selfish idiot." Fortunately, her anger was already gone, and Sae approached the bed, sitting on it, coming close to her head and planting a kiss in her hair. Turning your attention to you "And now what will become of you huh? The doctor said this disease got worse..." He got it his eyes fall a bit into sadness. "What's now?"

Your always impatient husband, how would you face him and say that soon he would leave, this disease directly affects the heart and you have had it forever and always prevented you from doing a lot of physical activity, and what cost you a body without much use, but on the other hand your intelligence helped a lot, since during a good part of your life, was Sae's assistant, since he was a minor in a new country (Not that you weren't too).

"Anything." You said softly smiling at Sae. "The doctor said I'll be under observation for a few days, then go home and get Akira with his brother and bring him here, I miss my favorite boy, can you do this for your dear wife?" you said with a teasing face.

Sae had never felt her frown grow so much.

...

"Mami!!" An excited Akira Itoshi runs towards the bed you are on and tries to climb up. You get close to the edge of the bed and lift him to sit on your lap, luckily he doesn't have his shoes on, even at 4 years old he's still light, the boy soon snuggles into your chest smiling brightly. "I miss you!!"

"Guess who missed your favorite little boy too" you hug him tightly and kiss his red hair, even after all this time you still couldn't believe that you were married to your management client and now had two children, even though the public didn't know anything, this life is a strange thing to think about in the past.

"And guess who had to hear all the way here 'Let's see mommy!'" Sae made fun of the joke that Akira made during the entire trip, walks over to greet you with a kiss on the head and squeezing Akira's head which was still on her chest, then sitting on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Mami? Your big belly is gone!" Obviously the child has ignored her parent and pulled her head out of your cute grip and soon bothered to get answers from you.

"Really? Look over there." You point to the front of your bed where there is a crib with a little baby in it. "It's your little sister." You said softly, stroking her plump cheeks.

As if she'd been told a malicious secret, Akira's cheeks darkened a fluffy red, soon getting off his lap to crawl towards the crib.

"Uohh, she's so tiny, we haven't met yet but my name is Akira, A-K-I-R-A Itoshi, but you can also call me nii-chan." With the voice so cute and full of love to give her sister, the tears that welled up in her eyes said it all, seeing her oldest son love the idea of ​​being a big brother was just heartwarming.

"You're not going to cry now, are you? You snot." Even if he didn't show it, you knew very well that he was also emotional, of course, in the Itoshi way.

"What do you expect Sae? They're going to be such good friends." With hearts in your eyes, you take Sae's hand just to hold it. "He was so looking forward to meeting you, Sae-chan, can you bring her here for Akira hold Maruko-chan?"

"Of course your majesty~" He stepped off the ledge, and picked up Maruko-chan, motioning Akira to sit next to her mother.

The couple's eldest boy, who never obeys his father, is a mama's boy through and through, decided to obey just to hold on to his little sister.

"Are you happy Akira?"

"Yes mami! She's so cute." You placed Akira's arms just right to receive the youngest Itoshi, Sae placed her carefully, holding her at the bottom so the fragile baby wouldn't fall.

Akira was so happy looking at the baby in detail, but suddenly her expression of pure happiness turned into fear and distress.

"M-Mami, Papi? Whose is th-this weird fringe?"

The couple took a closer look, only to come across The fringe, Sae looked at her with the biggest face of disgust as you couldn't contain yourself and soon started laughing out loud.

Sae couldn't believe her daughter inherited those bangs from when he was younger and always tried to hide it.

"Akira, don't worry, it's your father's bangs from when he was a kid." You laughed even louder at the thought of your oldest daughter at school with her husband's weird bangs.

"I can't believe my own daughter has this thing, it's decided let's cut it."

"Não papi! É uma franja estranha m-mas fica bem nela não é mami?"

"Of course, it goes really well together, she even has the same hair color, you better accept it, Sae-chan~"

"But mami, she even has that weird dad face!"

"That's right! That 'I don't care about anyone, just to become the best midfielder in the world' face she is totally Itoshi Sae's daughter."

"Can you two stop talking about my similarities to Maruko-chan?"

"No."

...

Itoshi Sae woke up abruptly with his eyes almost bulging out, his chest rising rapidly as he looked across the bed and there was no one there, and no noise was heard from the rooms of his little house in the Spanish countryside.

Where the hell was your family?

A snap quickly went through his head when he discovered that in fact his family had fallen apart, and it was entirely his fault.

All the good and happy memories are just a beautiful wave of nostalgia that Sae wanted to live forever but-

Oh.

So it is.

It was all a dream.

Notes²:

Remembering that this is all fiction 🫵.

There will be a few mini chapters before part 2 to see this family's interaction (they are cute<3)

Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura.

I reinforce that English is not my first language and (I translated the story on Google translator because I don't trust my skills 💀) it has a high chance of having grammatical errors.

Bye 😘

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕜 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: hello!! platonic welt, jing yuan, blade and dan heng with a mafuyu asahina teen!reader??

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hihi! Absolutely! This surprisingly turned out kinda short but... I really hope you'll still like it!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ platonic

✧ Dan Heng is definitely on more calmer side as well but definitely not as... inert as you

✧ your fake self definitely took him by surprise... because why are you being so formal when he's not even this old?

✧ so obviously he tells you to only call him by name, but won't fight if you won't drop this act

✧ but if he somehow sees right through your mask, by you breaking for split second for a second, he won't be straight with it, he'll just ask if you're okey and if you wanna talk

"Are you okey? You seemed down for a second there... If you need someone to slot oz i can hear you."

✧ at first, he thinks this emotionless state is simply your personality, but soon he realizes it's actually trauma...

✧ and when he discovers that, he's gonna get you to face your proboems, maybe talk back to your mother... and if anything, Express crew definitely won't mind new member!

✧ I feel like he'd read poetry so when you describe your mental feelings by comparing them to physical feelings, he gets it almost immidietly

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane @toyaswif3y - come get your quiet but scary trabilazer!

✧ Welt has quite an experience with kids already so he quickly noticed there's something up with you, no kid is so formal all the time for no reason...

✧ so he tried his best to make you feel comfortable and sooner or later, he finally saw your real self

✧ surprisingly, he wasn't scared or anything like that, more worried

✧ her sit down calmly with you and offer a talk so you can either rent or so you'll know for the future that you can rely on him and always tell him everything

✧ if you do rant to him, the topic of your mother definitely catches his ear and he'd ask you to tell him some examples

✧ and lemme tell you this, if you weren't part of the Express, you are now

✧ don't worry about your friends and studies, he doesn't mind teaching you and visiting your hometown every now and then

"Oh that? Yes, I do know it. Are you free for around half an hour currently? Because I'd be more than happy to teach you this."

✧ he's also pretty worried about how much you just don't care but he won't force it and instead keeps a close eye on you, since he believes you'll reach out to him whenever you feel the need to

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl - come get your father of the express!

✧ Jing Yuan is patient Jen di he doesn't mind a single bit actually

✧ even uf you're still on "good kid" phase with him, he'll respect if you decide to keep it up but first hell assure you it's alright to be yourself

"There's no need to be so formal. We're not in a business meeting."

✧ when he notices you really don't feel any emotions, he figures it must be caused by some trauma and first offers talk with your parents

✧ he's really just trying to help but unless you or someone tells him how's your mother really like, he can't do much

✧ but once he discovers the truth, he gets you to apartment or so, close to him so you could calm down but also so it'd still count as living with an adult as a minor

✧ he's also probably gonna try testing out different things to see your reactions on them, and when he sees you actually took a like of aquarium, he takes you there more often!

✧ and somehow, he can tell what you mean whenever you compare your feelings to physical feelings, it takes him up to 2-3 tries to make a decent conclusion but never more!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane - come get your soft general~

✧ honestly, Blade is similar... I mean, he's literally just a weapon without any other purpose in life

✧ he actually enjoys how quiet and non problematic you are to the point he doesn't even mind watching over you from the time to time

✧ even if you put in your faje persona, he somehow w sumie w right through you and tells you to "drop it"

✧ that's probably the only thing that annoyed him in you, so he'll tell you once or twice to be yourself around people, but if you won't listen, he'll just leave whenever your "good kid" act is on

✧ also if you notice your mother has bad influence in you he'll get you into Stallaron Hunters, only if you promise bit to bother him later on

✧ get your trauma out by fighting? get your trauma out by fighting without knowing.

"I feel warn when I'm here..."

"I'll turn the heater off."

"Bladie, I don't think it's what they meant..!"

✧ he doesn't get you're actually comparing your emotions to how things feel in touch, probably because he doesn't have much feelings himself...

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl - come get your cold man!

[changbinsboobs]

Hey, love your readings ! They have been so fun to read and so informative!! I was wondering if you could do one on what all of the dorm pairing think of each other? (e.g. what does chan think of IN and vice versa etc.)

I feel like living with somebody 1 on 1 can really change your opinion of someone lol (speaking from personal experience)

Anyway, thank you so much for your readings. I have really been enjoying them 💙

Thank you, u warm my heart💗🥰

I find the topic very interesting myself :) Enjoy💗

*For entertainment purposes only!

Skz dorm pairings' opinion on each other

Chan - Ace of Cups

Thinks of in that he's lovely and is a very giving and nurturing person. He thinks he's even cuter "up close".

I.N - 6 of Pentacles

Thinks of chan a bit of a "father figure" now that they are more close and personal. Not in a literal sense but rather chan's very...mhhh, provider-like. He thinks he has such qualities now even more than before.

Lee Know + Han - 3 of Swords, 7 of Swords

For those two sadly i got really bad cards, i think they might've recently had a fight or something. Lee know feels heartbroken and hurt by something han has done or the way han is. And Han on the other side feels plagued by guilt! I think he's unsure of something and his confusion is causing chaos around him, since decision made from an unstable state place - reap unstable outcomes. I think he feels really bad and wants to fix things and do better but he doesn't know how. Especially since he's trying to escape the pressure of those awful things he's feeling.

Changbin - 4 of Cups

I think he's kinda unsure how he feels about hyunjin after moving in with him. I think he has seen sides of him he hasn't seen that up close before and is now seeing him from a different light, thats causing him to evaluate his opinion on him. And also maybe his actions and behavior towards him in the future.

Hyunjin - Strength

Mh im not seeing so much of what hyunjin THINKS of changbin but rather how he feels. And im seeing he feels that Changbin is infuriating. Im pucking up on an agressive "tantrum" and idk who thats comming from. Theres a few possibilities.

1. Hyunjin wants to burst out and scream at changbin

2. Hyunjin gets so infuriated by changbin that he has burst out a few times and let his nerves take the best of him.

3. Changbin has burst out a few times whenever he gets stressed and gave hyunjin a tantrum over "nothing".

4. Or Changbin has been annoyed a few times either from stress or by hyunjin and hyunjin took that personally and got infuriated/triggered cuz he thought changbins having a tantrum at him over nothing, even if he didn't actually have a tantrum, but hyunjin just felt attacked.

All if those are possibilities and i hope maybe in a future reading we'll find out which one's the actual case.

Felix - The Sun

He thinks only good of seungmin and is enjoying his time and co-life with him very much!

Seungmin - 5 of Cups, King of Swords

I think he's not that happy with the living situation. Maybe not necessarily because of Felix, but rather he just wants a different living situation overall. I think he would much rather prefer living by himself and i believe he was hoping for an opportunity like that but either the team decided regardless, or the company decided for him - one way or the other, he feels like he lost an opportunity for a nice living situation and has to put up with the current conditions wether he likes it or not. I don't think he pays felix any mind as he's focus on the matter is elsewhere.

[steviestits]

I love MERMAY! Love these tropes, can I get underwater cave and ritual sex?

I'm glad you like them! Thanks for the prompt! Here you go!

Warning! This contains brief mentions of mermaid sex and mpreg! Don't read if you're under the age of 18!

Steve is enjoying a well-earned vacation on a beach. He's taking in a nice swim in the ocean, but he accidentally goes out too far and is caught in an undercurrent. He's a strong swimmer, but the current is even stronger, and he's pulled under into the depths below.

There's a sacred cave where merfolk go for mating purposes before the annual breeding ritual. When there's an low amount of breeders in a generation, one merfolk is chosen to enter the pool, which will change them into a breeder to even out the numbers. This is to ensure that the pod's population remains intact.

The ritual is being held with all the merfolk gathered around the pool as they await the selection process. They were just about to draw lots when a beautiful merfolk breeder sprung from the pool, coughing and wheezing. Before anyone could ask the unfamiliar merfolk what happened, they'd already passed out for unknown reasons.

However, there was no time to question it as the ritual had already been preformed, so they had no choice but to put the unconscious merfolk with the other breeders who would soon go into their heats. If they didn't then the ritual would be incomplete, which might mean that they might anger the sea god of fertility who had gifted the breeder to them. Angering a god could yield bad kelp crops or even plagues, giving them no other choice.

The next time Steve awoke, there was a terrible heat radiating through his body. He opened his eyes to see himself lying on a rough bed surrounded by finned humanoids and that he himself had a fin, too. Along with a few other added bits of equipment. They then told Steve that he had been gifted to them by their god, so he had the first pick when choosing a mate for the ritual.

Steve was pretty certain that he was dead and didn't take them seriously, thinking that maybe this was his last fantasy before going into the great beyond. He'd always liked both, and the mermen in front of him were kind of cute, giving him no reason to deny himself. It would be nice to have one last pleasure before his life came to an end.

With a discerning gaze, Steve looked over the candidates, noticing one that looked a bit more rugged than the others. His hair was much longer, and he had a dominating air about him while he wore silver-colored jewelry that made him stand out from the others. He was the one that Steve picked.

As it turned out, that was Edward, or Eddie for short, the bastard son of the king, had outside the confines of the mating ritual. He was the king's only son, however, and was in line for the throne. The nature of his birth and his current status made the elders in charge of the ritual pause, but Eddie ignored them as he was stubborn to a fault and accepted Steve as his mate.

Steve soon found out first hand what the mating ritual entailed as they both took a sacred elixir that Eddie said his people believed increased fertility then had to pray to the god to bless their mating. All of it confused Steve, but he figured since this was just a fantasy that he'd go along with it. Also, Eddie seemed especially eager to thank the god for sending Steve to him and felt it wouldn't hurt to humor the merman just this once.

The heat in Steve increased to an almost debilitating point once the words had been said. Eddie told him that this was a sign that the god had blessed their mating further, though Steve didn't care as all he wanted was Eddie's dick inside him to help calm the fire that was surging through him, making him cling to the other desperately as he was fucked senseless for three days and nights.

The ritual had taken beautifully, and Steve became rounded with pups. It honestly wasn't until he went into labor that he realized that maybe this wasn't some kind of death fantasy after all as the pain of giving birth was much too real for him to be imagining it. Not that he minded, because he fell in love with his pups the moment they were in his arms and felt that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to participate in the mating ritual again next year.

[cheolsfae]

hi! can u pls do a current love life update for ateez? thank you <3

Sure! Going to be a long one, buckle in! Sorry this took so long!

*Disclaimer: solely for fun! Please do not take this seriously. For entertainment purposes only!*

Seonghwa

January 28, 2024

Past: the fool, 2 of pentacles

He was thing about just trusting whatever was coming for him. Like thinking about if he wanted to take the leap of faith into something new. He subconsciously might have known that it would bring him a whole lot of abundance and joy but he was just kind of stalling out of maybe it blowing up in his face. Like he wasn't sure how the other person was going to take this. But ultimately, it seems like he was leaning toward just doing it and trusting the process. He may have just done it recently.

Present: 7 of pentacles, queen of swords (reversed)

His investment into this person is paying off. They both are slowly letting their guard down with one another. They could be really learning each other at this point in time. Like learning about what is and isn't okay in terms of boundaries and how they want to be loved. How they want to be treated. It's always a bit of a process in the beginning. Learning this whole new person is kind of a long process. But I think he's enjoying the way things are going right now with them! He seems like he's having fun!

Future: the sun, the high priestess

He's really hoping this turns into something more fulfilling. Maybe something a little more serious. Something long term, I believe. He's really stepping into his own. He might have some sort of surprise planned for this person. Like maybe a cute little romantic type of date planned out or something! God, I hope this works out for him! He deserves it!

Bottom of the deck: the hanged man (reversed)

He may be being a little selfish with this person, keeping them to himself! But it's not in like a toxic way, more in like an This is my person and I'm going to do anything I can to keep them happy type of way. Not like keeping them from other people and things like that. He maybe doing little things here and there for them whenever he can. It's really sweet!

Hongjoong

Note(s):

January 29, 2024

The color yellow could be significant for him

Past: the wheel of fortune, three of wands, the fool

He may have felt like good things were coming to him in his love life. He could have been very hopeful about a certain connection that was in his life at this time. He was willing to take a risk towards someone previously. He could have very much been in his more masculine energy. More of wanting to be protective, more of father figure mode with this person. He wanted to do what he could to protect this person much like a father would their child.

Present: page of swords, 9 of wands (reversed)

He knows he being watched by the public. He knows he in the spotlight, right? So he's kind of worried about how, maybe, atiny would respond to him dating someone or publicly admitting to dating in general, forget about who he's dating. He may feel a little nervous. He maybe constantly looking over his shoulder scared something is going to come out about it. I don't think he's seeing any one person in particular but just dating in general. He wants to look for his soulmate, he's longing for that relationship but he fears about what some atiny might say or think if he were to come out and say it.

Future: page of cups (reversed) , the empress

There could be someone coming in for him. Someone who looks like they aren't taking him seriously but they are. It just doesn't look like it outwardly. They may look or seem a little emotionally immature. They may not show that they care all that deeply but it is very apparent they do. They just have that playful energy. Or the roles could be switched. He might be the emotionally immature one and the other person he becomes involved with is in a higher vibration than he is. Whichever the case, it's going to be a form of self sabotage. It's not going to help either one of them.

Bottom of the deck: ten of pentacles

He is very content with how things are going in his life right now. He's financially stable, he's got his act together. But at the same time, he is carrying a lot of weight in terms of responsibilities so it's getting a little heavy for him. He might dig into his own head a little too much, it's very important he does not stay there. It will spiral into more self destructive behavior. He might need to reform his thinking habits. How he's perceiving these issues needs to be adjusted.

Yunho

January 29, 2024

Past: queen of swords, queen of pentacles

He may have been in this energy of cutting people off who were not living up to his own standard. He may have been like okay this is what I'm looking for, can you offer that? No? Bye. I don't think he really put up with wishy washy people. If they weren't what he was looking for in a person they were gone. Kind of like if you can't someone else will type of energy. Just very quick to not give people a second glance if they were not willing to give him what he was asking for in terms of a relationship. Which is honestly such a good mindset.

Present: 8 of wands, 6 of wands

I don't think he's focused on his love life right now. He might be more focused around his career goals more than anything else. He wants to be more successful in it. He's kind of just rushing to finish and get this all good and settled the right way. Love is not on the brain for this man. He's trying to find the easiest way to accomplish his goals. Something that will fast track him to where he wants to be. Kind of like cheating the system except the system knows what you are doing and won't let you take the easy way out. You've got to truly work for it.

Future: 8 of pentacles, the magician

Again, he's mainly focused on his career even in the near future. He's busy manifesting this good ending for himself. He wants to get to a place where he feels secure in it. Like he's comfortable there and it's something he's happy with. Like he's happy with the work he's done and that's it has been enough. He's going to need to focus on balancing this work-life balance. He might be doing too much working and not enough of stopping and smelling the roses along the way.

Bottom of the deck: 10 of wands

He might be feeling a little bit burdened with all of the responsibility he has in terms of work. He feels like it's a little overwhelming for him. There is a lot of stress on his shoulders about it all. He knows he has a lot to get done. But I don't think this will be lasting much longer. It' will be paying off in some way shape or form. Whether that is money or something else, it's going to be paying off.

Yeosang

January 29, 2024

Past: page of cups, ace of pentacles

There could have been someone he was interested in that he was willing to kind of reach out to, possibly ask this person out on a date. Just kind of get to know them. I don't think this was anything all that serious (at first). This could have started as a flirtation. Just hitting on them, nothing all that deep. He could have been in a more dark place. He needed something to like lift his spirits a little. Just like a little pick me up and that's how he met or came across this person.

Present: 8 of wands, 10 of pentacles

Since the start of this, there maybe more communication between the two. They could be seeing each other in a more serious type of way. Like they see one another in a more long term more committed way. Not soulmates but something more serious than just a flirtation/situation-ship. They both have very playful energies. I don't think they completely trust each other yet. They might still have on like a little mask on. Scared that the other is just faking it a little bit. But instinctually, they know that is not the case. It's all in their minds.

Future: knight of pentacles. 8 of cups (reversed)

He might be thinking of making an offer to this person for a more long term commitment. He doesn't want to walk away from this relationship. He wants to keep this going, he may have had fears that he was going to have to but it looks like that's dissipating. It's not really anything he's worried about. He wants to be romantic when he makes this offer. Make a big romantic gesture.

Bottom of the deck: the emperor

Again, he's really looking at this person as a potential partner. He could have a bit of a tendency to be a little jealous of this person when they are around others. He's not really scared they are going to take them but he's nervous about whoever they are with. Like if his crush was with a friend, he would be warry of the friend trying to make moves. But I don't think he needs to be this person's feelings may very well be the same.

San

January 31, 2024

Past: 6 of cups, page of pentacles

There may be someone he had reminiscing on quite a bit lately about someone from his past. Could have grown up with this person but this is someone who he wishes he made that offer to. Made that gesture of asking them out or maybe telling them how he felt about them. This person is on his mind heavily. He's slowly coming to a decision about reaching out to this person this person.

Present: 6 of swords (reversed), page of cups

He might be making himself stay stuck in the reminiscent energy, like I said he may be thinking about reaching out to this person. Seeing if they might want to "catch up" or something some time. I get the vibe this person is going to be kind of creeped/weird-ed out if he decides to. They don't know what his intentions are. So it's kind of suspicious. He might feel like this connection was destined, like it was fate that brought them together but I don't think this person will be feeling the same at all. It's just going to feel a little weird.

Future: queen of cups, 5 of swords

Not really sure who it is, but someone is going to come on a bit strong. Way too soon, it may end up casing issues. Not love bombing but kind of? The other person might be wanting to take things slow and the other just wants to do what they want, like take control of the whole thing. Whoever it is that is doing the love bombing needs to work on their attachment issues. They need to do some inner child healing type of thing.

Bottom of the deck: the moon

Again, he's really thinking about reaching out to this person. He's really disappointed he didn't take this opportunity when it presented itself the first time around. He needs to think more about how this person would feel if he reached out. What would they think? How had he treated them previously? Not to be so selfish in reaching out, think about the other person involved.

Mingi

January 31, 2024

Past: the hermit (reversed), 7 of pentacles

He may have been self isolating a little too much thinking about if this person is worth investing in. Kind of weighing the pros and cons of this person. If you have to do that (Usually) this person probably isn't good for you. He may have been trying to convince himself this person was good for him. He may feel like this was a destined meeting. Like there was some kind of divine guidance for them to meet. He isn't 100% sure though.

Present: 10 of pentacles, knight of cups

Right now, he might be seeing someone he sees a future with. Someone with long term commitment. He maybe teetering on asking this person for a more serious situation. Something more stable. He's thinking with the wrong head though lmao. It could just be all physical attraction. Most likely is. He's just rolling with the punches. He really is just taking it easy with this person.

Future: 3 of pentacles, 6 of cups

Again, he will be asking this person for a more secure connection. This person could feel like he's known them forever. Sort of like a soulmate, maybe a twin flame? Either way some kind of familiarity. Things might progress pretty quickly once they become more acquainted with one another. Just kind of rushing into it.

Bottom of the deck: the world

He could live at a bit of a distance from this person. He views this person as like a whole new start. A new cycle is beginning. Yes, he maybe a little scared but I think he is willing to take that risk for this person.

Wooyoung

February 1, 2024

Past: knight of swords(reversed), page of pentacles

It looks like in the past, he was kind of scared of making some offer to someone. Like it didn't pan out the way he wanted so he just didn't take that jump to make this offer. He was a little cowardice, just holding himself back from doing it. He was making the path all on his own. He was weaving his own mess. He was the only one making it more complicated than it needed to be. There wasn't any need to make it this complex. I feel like it was just a straightforward thing and he danced around it.

Present: ace of swords, 6 of cups

It seems like some sort of truth came out about why he couldn't do it. Like an epiphany about why he was so scared to do it. The puzzle pieces finally are fitting together for him. He's slowly accepting that he was the main issue in whatever type of situation-ship this was. I don't think he is going to apologize to this person but he is understanding why they decided to leave like he's figured out that he was the issue.

Future: 7 of wands (reversed), 8 of wands

He's going to be feeling overwhelmed with whatever/whoever is coming in next. I do not think this is related to his love life but maybe to a friend or work, could be both but not romantic. It feels like it's just all coming at him at once. Hence why it feels like it's all too much. He's being guided to step into his more masculine side. To set boundaries with whoever/whatever this is. To be firm in his standing and stick by it.

Bottom of the deck: ace of wands

He's feeling pretty passionate about whatever new thing is currently in his life. It feels like a brand new start in his career. Like it's growth and finally like it's progress! Just refreshing for him. He's losing that old way of thinking. That old way of rejecting things out of fear. He's realizing that not ever thing that changes is for the worst. He's looking at the brighter side of things.

Jongho

February 1, 2024

Past: 6 of cups, queen of cups

He might have been remembering little things from the past. An old friend. I don't think this was romantic. But anyway, he might be like missing this old friend. He might have viewed them as a mother figure. This person could have been someone who he sought advice from pretty frequently. Like whenever he needed help with something, they were the first person he's turn to.

Present: the hermit, 3 of pentacles

He's in a reflective state. He's kind of pulled away to work on his own personal skills with in the group. Again, not love, I don't think he has any sort of focus on romance. He's looking at places where he can improve in his career. He might be getting a little nit picky. Which I understand- it's his job- but he might be doing a little too much. He might be a little bit of a perfectionist and it's only doing more harm than it is any good.

Future: 5 of pentacles, temperance (reversed)

He's going to be feeling upset because whatever isn't going as well as he wanted. He's pissed that it isn't coming to him as quickly as he wants it to. He's being very impatient about it. Calm down! It'll all work out!<3 He's going to view this thing as a bigger obstacle than it actually is. He's being guided to change the way he's thinking. View the whole thing as a new start for something better.

Bottom of the deck: 3 of cups

He's happy with the way things are progressing currently. He may be celebrating what's going on behind the scenes. But later on, he's going to regret trying to rush things. Like things take time! He feels like this was something he was destined to do, understandable but he needs to be easier on himself!

*Oracle deck was also used!

[zeroducks-2]

I've just finished Gotham Knights and I get that people aren't happy with the fucked ass haircuts but like, I do believe this is the most progressive and well written Jason Todd we've ever gotten in recent times. Even in recent comics. Like damn, bro goes to therapy, picked up his interests and hobbies again (e.g. the cooking and the reading and the shit talking) from his "Robin makes me Magic" days. Like yeah, he's still edgy, but he was murdered by a fucking Clown, he's allowed to be edgy. We got a Jason Todd that isn't diluted to "the angry black sheep character" archetype. He's healing, working on himself, his relationship with his family, and he's fighting his way (brutal and all strength and tact) to do what he stands for and what he believes is right. And his heart is just so big and full of compassion, but it doesnt blind him and make him wishful or naive. He's so well balanced in Gotham Knights. I hope this version of his character is written in future comics. I'm sick of DC writers making him this angry anti-hero who's only reasoning and purpose in life is to get back at Batman for failing him and so many others. Jason is allowed to be more than his trauma. Thank you Gotham Knights for seeing that.

I'm glad you enjoyed the game anon. I personally am not a fan, not because of Jason but because of the game itself. The dialogues felt stale, more reminiscent of tumblr "incorrect Batfam quotes" than the source material, and the NPCs felt dull compared to how full of life they were in the Arkham series (so much so I would hide in random spots just to hear them talking about the current game events, especially in AK). The most unforgivable bit to me was Tim not having ever fought the rogues because he's "young" - I've never seen anything more insulting and infantilizing for a character which already heavily suffers for being treated as the useless one, never allowed to participate in the game changing dynamics or to have meaningful arcs, and is relegated to being the cute little bisexual twink.

That being said it's a matter of taste, and Gotham Knights is surely a good game for those who prefer a wholesome loving family approach to these characters. Jason working on himself and going to therapy and having a good relationship with his "family" is surely what lots of people (especially in here) want to see. Me, I don't think any amount of therapy would help since therapy is based on shared human experiences and repetition of patterns, and Jason died and dug himself out of his own grave. That's not a trauma any therapist would have the means to help with. They indeed "diluted" the event in the game, changed the fact that Jason dug himself out of his own grave and was functionally braindead and homeless for two years, and made it so UTRH never happened in order for therapy to make any sense, because there is no reconciliation possible with a parent that slit your neck to save the person who broke all your bones with a crowbar and then murdered you.

It's kinda like when Wally went to therapy (canonically) after Barry's death. The therapist was a good one and he tried! But ultimately he didn't manage to make a real difference because Wally is the Flash, a super-powered creature with time bending powers who does things on the scale of absurdity, and who also happens to have had an extremely traumatic childhood and to have just lost the only person who ever loved him unconditionally. His problems have roots in reality but are out of the scope of any therapy method currently known to man.

And Jason is more than his trauma, but pretending his trauma doesn't inform his actions and can be solved with him "working on himself" is not an approach I hope they take in comics. I'd rather they went back to Jason doing things his way and protecting the people of Gotham in the only manner he finds helpful, because he experienced on his own skin (twice!) that Batman's methods don't work. I'd rather they allowed him to stop clashing with Bruce as main theme of his stories, and have his own plotlines in which he's in between a vigilante and a mafia lord (which they were doing with Dick by the way, before chickening out and have Slade bomb Bludhaven) with Bruce only as a cameo sometimes.

We have a high number of morally irrepressible characters who always do the right thing more or less. I'd like Jason to be something different, something darker, because there is a dramatic lack of grey characters and anti-heroes which were sanded down to either 100% bad guys or 100% good guys. I hate that, why can't we have nuanced choices and people struggling with the darkness they carry, why does everyone need to be a perfect "unproblematic" paragon of goodness who would never do anything wrong. We have A LOT of characters like that and I love them, I really do! But if everyone and their families are like that then it's really frickin boring!

Plus, I'd like the characters to actually struggle with their past traumas in a meaningful way, otherwise why even giving them those traumas to begin with. Give me Tim still grappling with how he couldn't save his father, give me Dick haunted by all the times he slipped and let go of the no killing rule in a way or another, give me Jason haunted by the tragedy of being abandoned by every person who was supposed to protect him and working from there to being the protector of everyone else.

That's what I hope DC would pick up and write about. I was never much for fluff and wholesome things unless it's in small amounts, I always preferred strife and complexity. But hey, I'm glad you enjoyed the game, at least one of us did!

[lovinglettersacrosstheverse]

Special Delivery!

We've got a letter for Louise Worth @mysweetlouise! And there's even some pressed flowers! 💖💕

My Dear Lou.

How long will you make me wait? Dancing on the edge of my reach with the one you know I despise most? I know you enjoy games but hasn’t this gone on long enough?

A part of me feels this is my own fault. Some form of punishment for the state I left you in. I wish you knew how much it has tormented me over the years. Knowing what was only a second in the world was decades in the mirror with Damien and Celine, I can’t imagine how alone you must have been. How much time you spent alone, trapped. The centuries we will never know. You did not deserve that. Which is why I don't understand why you keep playing with Mark. It’s not the same Mark, fine, but they all have that same seed of narcissism inside them that lead to our fates.

We could make a home in this new reality, if you would only give me the chance. I haven't made one without you yet, not really. There’s a building where I meet with others, unusual like us. I have a room with a bed here, but I do not rest. If you were here, it would give the old bed purpose and I would keep you company. The affection of Damian and curiosity to know you of Celine live on in me, memories of you that are not mine haunt me. Your face is what I see most nights Louise, before everything went wrong, the college days, the games, the late walks across the college grounds. 

And the look in the mirror when you were left behind. I don’t know which one is worse.

Please! I have been tortured enough, join me and we will make sure Mark receives the same punishment as I or better yet, ensure he can’t hurt another soul when he next feels the need. While I drown in the past of our fury and pain, he lives on free of his sins. 

I’ve taken a breath and a moment of reflection. This isn't about him. This is about you and me. And you deserve better than you have ever gotten, Lou. I want to be the one to provide that for you, we can provide a better life and a better future for each other. You never truly got to be the D.A. in our past life, but you can be anything in our future. Not just playing a role, a meaningless game where nothing matters as you do now. We can make something with substance that actually counts for something. But I can’t do it without you.

Maybe I sound like a fool. We haven’t gotten the chance to re-familiarize ourselves with each other in some time, despite how long we’ve had. You’re a different person by now as well, I imagine. I wonder how many habits you still have from the past. What new ones I could learn about you. 

When you tire of your current circumstances, remember that my door is always open and a new home of our own making ready to be built. 

Sincerely,

Your Ever Waiting Darkiplier

Well, there is one more thing....

I also found a torn paper in the mailbox today, it looks like a journal page? I'm not sure this is supposed to be here... but I think its for a Louise Worth as well so maybe i am supposed to deliver it!

It’s late now. I’m in my office, reading the most recent report from the Jim’s when the radio changed. It started playing this slow jazz and these memories came to my mind, unbidden. Damien's memories of you, late nights listening to jazz as you both studied for exams. A record you’d put on the phonograph that became his go to for focusing on work in the years after. The years apart as you all worked for your separate goals, when Damien would spend these nights wishing for your company once again. Lou.

You're not even here. I write only for myself, a page i will tear and burn when I have the chance. But still, writing to you makes it easier somehow. Calms me in these moments.

This body always aches, and I can imagine at one point the heart would ache for you. If I told you it still did, you would know better than to believe me, wouldn’t you? I saw it in your eyes the last time we met, your silent regard for me. You're getting wiser to the situation. I can’t fool you into thinking the Damien you knew is still in here anymore, can I? Nor can I convince you that being as I am, I can feel anything other than rage and resentment. Perhaps the resentment I feel towards Mark for making that promised future of you and Damian working together side by side once again is a form of love itself?

But it’s not even by his remnants you stand by now is it?

Do you have any idea what it’s like to be in a body constantly in a state of decay? I feel the pull of death over me constantly, trying to drag me away like a fist around my throat, never tightening more than it is but never loosening either. And yet you’re out there in your own new skin, where did it come from?

(Note from here to the * was originally all scribbled out but i managed to make it readable... though maybe I should have left it)

Do you want me to apologize for leaving you there? None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for him, I am trying to get revenge for us all!

And now you go and have your little adventures with that monster! In practically every reality, you two are connected in some way, you really think any Mark in any other universe is any different than the one who did this to us? This is why you couldn’t stay! You’re too soft, you weren’t angry enough at the right people. You are the exact fool Celine pegged you for that night, all those years ago. 

How did you get a new body? How, how, who did you take it from, where did you get it, why do YOU have one?*

I apologize. You know how this unstable amalgamation of my being can be. I'm getting better at controlling it over the years, but I still have my moments. Can you not lend a hand to an old friend?  Or perhaps those old tales you told Damien once were true, and this is my repentance for breaking a mirror?

No, perhaps you're right. And there is more to atone for on my end. You should not have been pushed out. I was blinded by the mission of my birth. Clearly I underestimated your strength and resolve, if the way you stand against me and the endurance of your soul is anything to go by.

We are still old friends, aren’t we? You were there when I was created, the first face I saw and even behind whatever cloaks me now, still the face I see in every mirror and reflection. What some might say should be guilt or softness I should feel at that is as all things, replaced with the rage of knowing why I carry you with me in such a literal way…

I wish to confide in you one thing Louise, that I barely confide in myself. There’s one other feeling I'm capable of that sits so deep within me it’s but a grain of sand in the void fractures that make up my sewn together soul. Fear. I am the living testament to their hatred and thirst for revenge. If, when I see their retribution through, then what? What will become of me? Will I have any purpose? Will I continue to exist at all? What will be left when there is no one left to despise? You are the only one I can think of to ask. How did you survive the void of the mirror for so long that you escaped? What feeling motivated you? What purpose?

I shouldn’t keep bringing up old wounds, but what else can I do as a living scab of a soul myself? It is only this mission that keeps this broken body together.

If you just let me in, I can fix all of this. Just let your old friend in Lou.

[bangers2]

Kendrick Lamar - Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers (Long review)

AOTY first impressions: I quite literally cannot put together words to describe this album. It's cathartic and deeply personal while at the same time being so sonically diverse and obviously Kendrick's flows are amazing. Even though it's a heavy listen, it's one that I keep coming back to - even the more challenging tracks like "We Cry Together" are just SO interesting, artistic and purposeful.

Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers is a 2022 album by the incomparable artist Kendrick Lamar. The album is deeply personal and sees Lamar working through deep-seated trauma and confronting how it has impacted his present-day life. It's a double album; structured such that each track is a different therapy session, and they all tackle different angles at which he approaches his struggles. There are emotional highs and lows as the album (and his healing) progresses, showcasing the non-linearity of the process.

I think the underlying messages of the album are ones that resonate with me deeply - addressing the general sentiment that "hurt people hurt people" by tackling Lamar's personal issues head-on and connecting back to underlying traumas and struggles he experienced in the past. The advocacy for therapy and healing is so important in this day and age, when there is still so much stigma in many communities.

While MM&TBS is a difficult listen, it's one that I think everyone should have at some point. There are some challenging topics discussed. But they're so important.

Other than the lyricism, I found the production on here so diverse. It's a lot more minimalistic than Lamar's other albums but still keeps things interesting. "Worldwide Steppers" has a beat that almost sounds like a panic attack, floating in and out and having a rushed energy. "Purple Hearts" features sweet chords and a wonderful drum beat. "Saviour" has a chord progression and synth(?) line that I can't even describe, but the feeling it gives elevates the ideas of the song brilliantly.

I don't know why this album was shrugged off by so many. It's not as immediately hard-hitting as TPAB or GKMC, but with time and attention, it's a record that I genuinely believe is Kendrick Lamar at his best.

While I think this is an album that must be listened to in full, I think a good introduction is the track "Count me Out." It features a wonderful chorus and introspective lyrics, and while it's a turning point in the album (the first track of the second album, "Mr. Morale"), I think it echoes themes present throughout the entire record. Give it a listen!

I have found the rap beef immensely entertaining, but it has also opened the door for so many more people to discover the rest of Kendrick's music. As a newer fan (I first listened to TPAB in September last year), I'm really glad more people can get to sit down and listen to these albums for the first time. MM&TBS is one of my favourite albums of all time. I hope it resonates with new fans as much as it did for me. I just hope people don't go into this expecting "Not Like Us." 💀

anyways, thank you for reading! I love writing album reviews and getting to yap about topics I enjoy, and this album has been really impactful to me as of late. While I don't relate to his personal struggles much, I do relate to the general idea that healing is non-linear and a lot of your current self-destructive behaviours are a result of past suffering. Understanding that and giving yourself grace as you heal is so important.

If you've made it this far I just want you to know that you are loved and deserve so. much. good. Whatever you may be going through, you will get through it. Keep going, it will all be okay in the end! I believe in you. You got this. <3

[misc-obeyme]

I really like the MC and OC questions. I'd like to take this opportunity to ask you a few about yours : Relationships & Personality :2. Concept and design :2. Demon :3: Human :3. And also (if you like, it's not in the questions but it intrigues me): what is their favourite food? -^^

Hello there, ^^ anon!

Relationships & Personality 02: On a scale of 1 to 10, how annoying are they to Lucifer? :)

I'm gonna give Arsenios an average score of about an 8. Normally Arsenios avoids Lucifer because he knows he's gonna get annoyed lol. He doesn't want to start trouble. But if he actually talks to Lucifer, it shoots up to like the max. So averaging it out I'm going with eight.

Ciaran is always a 10. Ciaran doesn't like Lucifer very much for quite a while. They eventually come around, but even then, they are a troublemaker at heart. They are actively contributing to Lucifer's grey hairs and most of the time it isn't even on purpose.

Concept and design 02: What inspired you to create them, and what is the first thing you decided about them?

Arsenios was based on the concept of the crossroads demon, but specifically the idea that musicians will sell their soul in exchange for musical talent. I was just thinking about more traditional demon stories and how they might fit into the world of OM. So the first thing I decided about him were his powers and that part of his history.

The only thing that inspired me to create Ciaran was the need for an MC lol. I actually went through a few different iterations before finally settling on who they are now. They had different names and slightly different looks and personalities. Their backstory has always been somewhat the same except that the amount of siblings they had changed drastically. Like at one point, they had four siblings. But anyway, I think the first thing I decided about Ciaran was their name. It's a name I've always liked. So I basically went okay, my MC's name is Ciaran, now who are they? And then I took bits and pieces of everything I'd written so far and that's how Ciaran came to be lol.

Demon 03: Do they have any special abilities?

I answered this here! And rambled quite a bit, too lol. But I will add something about the way Arrie makes pacts - obviously the whole point is to give humans musical talent. So instead of just raw power, Arsenios is essentially giving the human he has a pact with knowledge and ability. He's passing on his own skill at playing an instrument to that human. He can still be controlled through the pact like any other demon, so I think he could give the human raw power if they demanded it. But that's not usually the point and most humans who make a pact with him are doing it for the talent.

Human 03: Did they believe in demons and angels before the exchange program? Did they have any contact with the paranormal before it?

Ciaran tries not to think about these things at all. They were perfectly happy not believing in such things and now they want to enjoy the ride of being an exchange student in the Devildom without having a religious crisis at the same time lol. Ciaran's mother is a devout Catholic and Ciaran was raised with that belief system. So for a time, they believed in all that stuff. But as they grew older, they began to question and eventually left the church altogether. So they very much stopped believing. After that, they didn't really have an opinion. If you asked them about what they believed, they would say they didn't know. They would say that they think it's more important to focus on the now, on the life you're currently living, than to worry about what might happen in the afterlife. They're too busy living to worry about it. (This all changes dramatically in the AU where they're half fae, but let us not get into that lol.)

I don't think Ciaran has had any paranormal contact previously. They're pretty thrilled about magic existing because it's something they liked to believe in (in a non religious way). But if they had ever encountered anything like that in their life, they were unaware of it at the time.

what is their favourite food?

Arsenios's favorite food is macarons! It's kinda silly, but he's friends with Barbatos and has been for a while. So Barb invites him over to the castle for tea parties and such. And that's where Arrie first encounters a macaron. He's amazed when he picks one up and it's super light. And forever after that, they were his favorite. Arsenios is a good cook, but he's terrible at baking. So I think he sees them as really special in that sense, too.

Ciaran's favorite food is a roast beef and provolone sandwich on sourdough bread. Specifically bread baked by their older sister. Even better if there's also pepperoncinis on it. Their sister Fiadh owns her own bakery and she's been baking since they were little kids. She's been making sandwiches for Ciaran for so many years, it's like a comfort food for them now.

Woo well this has gotten long! Thank you so much for asking! I'm having so much fun answering these!

MC & OC Ask Game

[dragonagitator]

What do all y'all think about headcanoning that Dr. Allison Cameron on House MD has borderline personality disorder?

It's not a perfect fit, but there's currently no good in-universe explanation as to why she behaved so inconsistently from episode to episode, including straight-up contradicting herself on numerous occasions. (The IRL explanation is that she was written inconsistently because her role in the show was to merely act as a foil for the other characters instead of being a fully developed character.)

DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for borderline personality disorder, with the symptoms Cameron exhibited on the show bolded:

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-harming behavior

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

That's only 4 and you need 5 for a diagnosis, but we don't really know what was going on inside her head so it's entirely plausible that she could have been experiencing #1 and #9 and just never disclosed it to anyone.

I ask not because I enjoy diagnosing fictional characters for shits and giggles but because I'm writing a House MD fanfic and I have absolutely no idea how to write Cameron. How do you write consistent, believable characterization for someone who didn't even have that in canon?

I do, however, have plenty of IRL experience with friends and exes who have BPD, as well as with briefly being misdiagnosed with it myself before a more competent psychiatrist changed my diagnosis to CPTSD instead. So I've done enough reading on the topic that I'm confident I could believably write a character with BPD.

In the show, it seems like Chase was a stabilizing influence on Cameron, but they will never get together in my isekai fanfic because my author-self-insert OFC will steer Chase away from Cameron long before she has the chance to sink her claws into my precious baby boy.

So, one of the potential unintended consequences of the OFC changing canon could be that Cameron is much more emotionally unstable now. An unattached Cameron would probably also be much more relentless in her pursuit of House, which creates a nice obstacle for the House/OFC slow burn that will be the central ship of my story.

Meanwhile, one of the central themes of my story will be how quickly things can go completely off the rails when you think you can predict the future. The OFC being unpleasantly surprised to discover that the tradeoff of making Chase's and House's lives better is that Cameron's life is now significantly worse would fit into that theme well.

If you're a Cameron fan, what are your thoughts on writing her as if she has BPD? Especially if it was done purposely, instead of how she was inadvertently written that way on the show.

[phyriaxi]

Sketchbook Post! [ 1 ]

Welcome to my first sketchbook doodle dump!

I ended up having a bunch more drawings to share than I initially assumed, so I wanted to include some of my thoughts as well! This post will be quite a bit longer than usual :] thanks for stopping by!

CONTENTS:

NEW UNIVERSE (personal project work)

Sketches from life

Fanart (there's a lot of Arknights)

A couple of mini-comic sketches

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NEW UNIVERSE // character explorations and other doodles from my personal project!

I haven't really talked about it here, but for the past couple of years I've been working on an original story in my free time! The image above is a quick lineup of the main cast that I doodled while waiting at the station. Progress is slow, but the placeholder name is "NEW UNIVERSE", and I'm currently working on developing the stories for my characters and their origins!

(yes, i draw a lot of Arknights fanart ... but I do have some original work too LOL)

A couple characters you may have already seen are Lyda Khatra (the white-haired girl with bows in her hair) and Maria Serval (the lady who has horns and is usually smirking). They appear many times in my sketchbook, alongside many other characters that I'll try to introduce~

[ Clockwise from the top-left: Sara, Lyda Khatra, Kiron Schiavona, Red-Eye, Iris Serramount (2) ]

I recently found an old pack of red pencil leads prior to this page, so its purpose is mostly to test the material and less about the characters. But a bunch of them are on here, so I suppose it's a good chance to talk about them a bit :)

>> Sara, the top-left character drawn in light red pencil, is a young Verlin adult (note: Verlin are basically the in-universe demon people, and they're the counterpart to the angel-like Zaurites... it doesn't really give them powers or anything, I just wanted characters with horns and halos lol). She's pretty aloof and was originally a scout for the Blackbird Syndicate, one of the three power-holding entities currently in control of the (tentatively-named) city of Midria. However, she was quite terrible at her job, and they eventually realized that Sara enjoyed making/maintaining records of Midria's various fauna and cryptids. She is often followed around by a trio of little eyeball creatures :D

>> Lyda Khatra is the next character here, whom I've drawn a couple times before and posted here. In short, she's an agent for a security company known as WALTZ, which is in turn a subsidiary/cover of a group called The Styx. On missions, she partners with a boy named Sasha, but due to his unique condition (which I'm still expanding on, so I won't explain it here), she is often outcast by other WALTZ members and nicknamed "Miss Mortician". Truthfully, Lyda is just a child who ran from home, who believes that she won't ever have to acknowledge her fears if she can delude herself enough.

>> Following Lyda is Kiron Schiavona. He's a prodigy marksman who was discovered by one of the Administration's commanders, Elena Sparrow. He takes pride in his abilities, but for whatever reason, Elena has rarely assigned him to any proper missions.

>> Red-Eye is up next, in her usual twin-tailed hairstyle. She is from the Blackbird Syndicate's courier department, which is pretty much the city's only remaining postal/courier system. As a highly capable messenger, she and fellow courier Orion take on many high-priority delivery, retrieval, and escort missions. (additional note: I used to draw her with only one red eye, but somehow the heterochromia felt boring after a while, so both her eyes are usually red now. But either is fine)

>> Last on this page is Iris Serramount. Her story continues to be revised and rewritten, so there's not much I can say about her yet (except that she's 19, which is a fact that has stuck throughout most of her iterations).

Some other characters that I don't draw as often include Myra ("Malady"), Seremi and William Khatra (Lyda's older siblings who work for the Administration), and to a lesser extent, Maria Serval. Red-Eye's coworker/partner Orion doesn't get much time in the spotlight either :P

The following group of images includes a bunch of their sketches. Seremi is the one with the chin-length messy hair + a cape. She and Maria have a lot of history, and the two of them still work in the same division to this day. Myra/Malady is the one with the choppy hair, holding a chain-scythe in the third (?) image. Her original concept had her as a cowardly clairvoyant trying to take back her life for herself, but the clairvoyance isn't really relevant to the story anymore. Orion is in the last image.

(Yes, I did draw Arknights' Lappland with my Maria Serval in the first one. I'm a big fan of their 'shit-eating grin' energy lol)

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Sketches from/inspired by life // quick studies of people and places, often at the park

I'm lucky to live near many wonderful parks and greenspaces, which gives me a lot of opportunities to people-watch and draw from life. Admittedly, I only started taking advantage of this recently, but I'm glad to have started late rather than never :]

Also, I have access to this really awesome roof, which I take inspiration from in a couple of these drawings. It's in a pretty industrial but under-maintained area, but luckily that means there are lots of rusty pipes, worn bricks, and random metal gadgets that really scratch my aesthetic itch!! I hope to incorporate more of that visual feeling into my artwork going forward.

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FANART DOODLES // unsurprisingly, it's mostly Arknights

This is probably the content you're the most familiar with, albeit in a different style than usual. At this point, Lappland is my warm-up and passtime go-to, so she shows up a lot. I also drew Asuka from Evangelion the other day, and I really like how that sketch turned out!

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MINI-COMICS // doodles of scenes that popped into my head

I'm terrible at writing, especially when it comes to stories, so these are probably mediocre at best. But I hope to publish NEW UNIVERSE as a comic/manga-styled story eventually, so you could say these are just my first steps, hehe :]

1: Red-Eye and Courier receive an unconventional request

2: Commander Sparrow introduces Kiron to his new squad members, the Raptors (featuring Maria Serval being very snarky)

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That'll conclude this sketchbook post! If you've read this far: I know this was a REALLY long post, but I hope it was enjoyable! I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback!

There are a couple more drawings that I'm quite fond of, but unfortunately I've now hit the image limit for a tumblr post. Maybe I'll save them for next time :] I hope to make more posts like this in the future when I have the time. Usually the stuff in my sketchbook stays in there forever and I never share it with anyone (nor do I often take the time to look back and think about it), so this was a lot of fun for me!

>> Oh, and lastly, thank you very much for nearly 500 followers!! <3