#i don't know if I'm perfectly happy with the end but tumblr posted this in its own TWICE

[lemotmo]

I'm not sure how you feel about getting these anymore but I thought this was hilarious so wanted to share for you at least to read even if you don't want to post. 😊

Q. I really was trying to hold onto the belief that the show wasn't going to make Eddie gay but it's really hard to see what other storyline is possible given those latest Ryan interviews. I would love to say gay or not the show would just keep Buck and Eddie as platonic best friends but there is zero chance of the show not pairing them together. They really did just use my man as filler until they were ready to tell the Eddie story. That's so gross.

A. Well, anon that's the point of a plot device. Their only reason for being is to move a larger story forward. By definition their filler characters. They have no individual significance or purpose. Their purpose is the story they're being used in. I've been telling you this for months now. Many of us have. He was never going to be anything more than a plot device. The show wasn't subtle about it either. It's been pretty much a connect the dots picture of plot device usage. Go back and watch his scenes in season 7 with this new found realization and I promise it will not be hard to see. And I agree, especially with the context the latest Ryan interviews gave, there's really not any other story it could be. He also confirmed they're not turning him into the new Bobby, and he's not siding with Gerard. So it was nice of him to debunk the latest round of ridiculous takes during the interview. If I could offer you a suggestion though I would encourage you to give the story a chance. If you pay attention to Eddie, and not your fandom people telling you to hate him, you will like him. After all there's a reason you all tried to hijack his entire backstory and history for Tommy. Let yourself enjoy the character those things actually belong too. Let yourself enjoy the actual story.

Oh Nonny! I feel joyous and happy whenever I get another of these posts in my ask box. While I'm asking people to not ask Ali any questions through my blog, I'm still perfectly happy posting her asks here. 😋

Especially since, for most of us, this is the only way to read Ali's posts and we do love her posts very much. So don't hesitate to drop something in my ask box. The only things I don't post about are the direct posts about the BT fandom, but Ali has told me she isn't replying to those posts anymore anyway, so that eliminates that problem.

As for the ask itself...

Yeah, so many of us have been saying this since day one. Tommy was only ever there to help Buck out of that closet. He was never really meant to be anything more than that. Sure, the change of the storyline because of the early renewal, gave Tommy some more time on the show, but that's where it ends.

So yeah, going back to rewatch the previous seasons, knowing what you know now? It will change the way you see Eddie and Eddie and Buck's friendship and maybe you'll find some joy in them. Just let it happen.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[archesa]

Hope you will enjoy this ^^ This is set in druid Anwen’s verse, as you shall see and can be read as a continuation to this fic ^^

(A little something I had written during the holiday season and felt like posting now 🥰 Originally promoted by @i-mybrunettelady from the Wintersday prompts ❄)

Quick summary : Anwen usually makes evergreen and holly grow for Wintersday but this year all she manages to bloom are mint and mulberry.

Wintersday miracle - A speck of life in the realm of death

The manor stood high on the hill, garlands and lanterns hanging from the windows ledge and ornamenting the pediment of the house. The Faren's winter's ball was an event looked forward to by everyone, the young and old, meek and the bold.

The party would start in a matter of hours and the household was buzzing with effervescence, masters and staff rushing about to prepare for the soirée. In the reception room, the servants busied themselves with the latest accommodations, a change in the traditional decoration of the hall — holly and evergreen noticeably amiss, as they were replaced by dark emerald leaves and coiling thorns of mint and mulberry. A touch of colour, in the shape of unripe blackberries, and a shimmer of fantasy in that of a few gold trimmed pine-cones were added in hope to make best of the unusual situation. A speck of light in the darkest hours of the year, the triumph of life in the realm of death.

Every year, Lady Anwen bloomed the decorations the very morning of the ball — evergreen, holly, mistletoe — and oversaw their arrangements for the rest of the day before it was finally time for her to don a dress for one of her infamously brief appearance at the party.

But this year, despite her best efforts nothing would bloom under her touch but these two plants.

Mint and mulberry.

Virtue and death.

Wisdom and self-sacrifice.

Poets would deem that the darkness of Orr still clung to her, or that perhaps her heart lingered on these distant shores...

"My dear daughter...", Lady Violet smiled, her eyes glistening knowingly, as Anwen ruffled the garland on the chandelier for the fifth time in a row, and, with a flick of her wrist, tried to bloom yet another ornament, only to be met with more emerald leaves exhaling fresh peppermint. "You really needn't trouble yourself... You simply have love on your mind."

The young woman almost tore her gown stumbling off the ladder she was perched upon.

She did have someone on her mind, someone who had expressed his regrets and declined the invitation, staying with the men in garrison at Fort Trinity. The post had surely been delivered by now, and she hoped he would like the content of the parcel she had sent this very morning. But surely the fact that her heart tightened in her chest when, despite all reason, she looked towards the threshold in hope to see him whenever someone pushed the door, had nothing to do with...

Love...

The night was dark and the spirits high when Anwen arrived at Caer Aval, leaving the strong scent of liquor and the sound of celebration far behind when she noticed the visible absence of the one person she sought.

She took in a deep, shaking breath, willing the trembling of her hand to still before she knocked on the metal door, thanking the cold air whipping the fort from over the bay for an excuse to justify her tremors.

The door cracked open, revealing a most surprised face.

"Commander..."

"Happy Wintersday, Marshal. I... apologize for intruding like this, I know you weren't expecting me..."

"I am always happy to see you, friend. What do I owe the pleasure?”

“I-... I received an unexpected gift tonight... some clarity... Wintersday is a time we're meant to spend with those we hold closest to our heart. And I realised there was nowhere else I wanted to be and no one else I wanted to be with..."

She willed to hold his gaze, a shiver running her through as he stepped forth, the cold nipping at her exposed shoulders all but forgotten in the warmth of his smile and the shimmering glow enlightening his features, setting her heart ablaze.

"And there is no one I hold dearest, Anwen."

The sharp whistle of a kettle shattered the moment. She let out a breathless chuckle and melted in his arms as he pulled her in a tender embrace.

"You must be cold. Can I offer you some tea?"

She nodded slowly, basking in the warmth of his glow and the scent of mint and mulberry. "Tea would be lovely."

[sanzaibian]

Which writers do you recommend ? What stories did you like?

I follow quite a bit of creators, so it would be quite overwhelming to include all of them ! So I'll only include those I especially like and have things to say about.

I'll of course shoutout @joshslater, he's honestly a bit of an idol to me, since his stories are always so imaginative - and well-written ! In that category I also add @salmonskinrolltf of which I especially like the multi-parters, and how he explores a gimmick very thoroughly, @maletfsstories who always write great stories that hook me up even on kinks I don't have, and @rozza22365 who basically was the one to introduce me to the guilty pleasure of gay to straight by his thrilling prose !

I'll also shoutout the very prolific @papermoon357 (because, let's be honest, who wouldn't !), whose skill really shines in the stories he posts between captions, @fredwkong and @octuscle who both have a similar style of reader-driven posting that brings a ton of varied content, with each their own spin (thinking about it, it might very well be in the continuation of the style of feu collegenerdtojock, whose tumblr has been taken over by pastry for some reason), as well as @coyotes-rules-of-change who always nails down perfectly what I find hot in tf !

And for newer writers, I'll shoutout @occamstfs who does an extremely good job, @tidetfs who seems to have pretty similar interests as me, and @alphajocklover who kinda does have that old tumblr tf community vibe to his stories !

Finally, a few mentions that I don't know how to group, I shoutout @dreamingtf and his stories that very often make me feel good, @idesofrevolution who has a nack of writing immersive stories, and @nonotnolan who writes some really sweet love stories ^^ (and I'll add an honorable mention to Programming Prince, who was banned multiple times from Tumblr, and since quit writing stories, but was very impactful in my introduction to the community ^^)

As for stories, well, you make me dig deeper, the list has already been so long to write ! But here are some of my all-time favorites, of which I link through my likes/main blog (so that if the link perishes, it perishes with that account ^^') :

@fullfriendnerdpurse's trio of alpha car, forced imposter and how to make a douchebag (not the actual title), all are great concepts of which I love to throw myself inside, and I think could all make a thrilling longer story, @rozza22365's Brotherly Changes, that one story that convinced me to follow him, @alphajocklover's Unmoved, which resonates with my personnal experiences a lot, feu tyranitartf's I'm a dumb jock, very hypnotic and thrilling, @anomanlyarchives' text message swap (not the actual title), of which I love the love story, I-don't-remember-whom's Chess Rival, republished by @marcoh1234, a good all classic that just doesn't get old, @erogenousmind's Turing, one of those stories that just scratches my existential horror erotica itch, @0ng0ingw0rk's To Love and to Cherish..., a great love story, @joshslater's Wet Dreams, the story I blame for my diaper fetish, Happy Endings' The Mind Palace (gayspiralstories), honestly my favorite story of all times, I love the concept, love the execution, the sweetness and the corruption. I do an RP on it (or at least did until I took a break), and I think that's the one concept I won't be bored of ^^'

There's a buch of other stories I love and would love to show off better, but that list is already long enough, so I focused on the most impactful stories ^^'

[have-you-been-here]

Welcome to Have You Been Here, a blog that gages where tumblr has been!

If you'd like to submit a place, please read the entire FAQ under the cut BEFORE you send it in!

FAQ

Q: What kind of places can be included?

A: Anywhere! Places can be as specific or as vague as you'd like: both The Milky Way and 123 Main Street, Frankfort, Kentucky, USA are both perfectly fine!

Q: Where should I submit?

A: Use the ask box! After opening a ticket with tumblr, it turns out submissions and polls are not compatible.

Q: What should I include in my ask?

A: When you submit a post, please include: A picture of the place, the name of the place, and the location of the place, if applicable. You must include the country. Please. PLEASE include the country.

Do not include anything else!

The preferred format is image first, then text in big letters.

Q: How do I make sure I don't submit a place that's already been added to the queue?

A: Use this link to see a spreadsheet of every place that's been posted and added to the queue. Do NOT submit the same place multiple times!

Q: Anon is off, but I don't want my username attached to my submission. Am I out of luck?

A: Not at all! If you'd like to submit a place anonymously, send in an ask as usual and mention that you'd like it to be anonymous. I'll take the submission and make a separate post without tagging you. The ask will be answered privately so you know that I've seen it and added it to the queue without your name involved.

Q: It's been a while, but my place still hasn't been posted! Did you delete it?

A: Probably not! The queue posts six times a day, and there are a LOT of posts in the queue and in my inbox! I don't add posts in the order that they were submitted, so it's likely that your place hasn't been queued yet. The only reason I delete asks is if the place has already been posted or added to the queue!

Q: I run a similar gimmick blog and would love to tag eachother for publicity!

A: Awesome! I'm all for it; send me a dm from your gimmick blog and I'll tag you at the end of this post :)

Happy travels!

[major-comet]

The Best Red vs Blue Watch Order Guide Ever. Of All Time.

So. You want to watch Red vs Blue, huh? Maybe you read my long post about how it's so weirdly incredible yet impossible to recommend and now you want to give it a shot. Or maybe you have seen the show before, but it's been a long time and/or you didn't watch any of the mini-series or anything and want to give it another go. Either way, looking at a show with a 21 year history is kind of daunting, and you have no idea where to start.

Well luckily for you, I've done the work for you.

This watch guide will cover all 19 seasons of the main show, most of the mini-series, and some of the PSA's and other such bonus content. There will be links provided for where you can watch everything I talk about. This Google Drive (from reddit u/Exitity, unsure if they also have a tumblr) has all of the individual episode uploads, and most of the stuff I'm going to be talking about, although I'm trying to use YouTube links wherever I can. Any links will be colored in light blue for additional visibility.

Couple of quick things before we begin.

When possible, watch the individual episode uploads rather than the "complete" editions. The "Completes", while they may provide a more streamlined viewing experience by cutting out all of the bumpers and outros and such, accomplish this by cutting out a lot of jokes. RvB has a lot of jokes that happen during the fade to black at the end of an episode, and a lot of those get lost in the edits. There's also some things that just straight up get cut for seemingly no reason. Side note, the DvD/Blu-Ray versions seem perfectly fine, and honestly are even better to watch than the individual episodes if you have them. They're like a best of both worlds - adding some extra music and such (ESPECIALLY in the first 5 seasons) that really helps make a nice presentation of the show. If that's an option available to you, I recommend it. Otherwise, stick with the individual episodes.

At the end of each entry in the list, I may present a Side Quest section. This will include anything I feel you should watch that isn't necessarily canon, but helps add some extra life to the series. This may include some behind the scenes stuff or a selection of the PSA's and the non-canon mini-series. This stuff can be really great for building out the characters in a way that doesn't necessarily affect the greater story, and can especially be good for interactions between characters that maybe don't interact much in the main show. Anything I put in a Side Quest is strictly optional, but will add to your viewing experience. Obviously, there's a lot more bonus material than what I'm putting here. I'm just putting down some of the highlights. And if you end up liking the PSAs and such then just know: there's so much more for you to explore.

Early RvB is very much a product of it's time, and sometimes you'll get hit with a line that stops you dead in your tracks. Adult-oriented comedies can always be a minefield, and RVB's roots as a show made for Halo fans in 2003 definitely don't help. However, while this is the most common in the first five seasons, it never really stops being an issue. The purpose of this guide is simply for watch order, but if you have any specific trigger-related questions about any season of rvb please feel free to shoot me an ask or even a DM - i'm more than happy to help.

Okay, let's begin, breaking it down by arc.

The Blood Gulch Chronicles

You may hear people telling you to skip the first five seasons of the show and just pick up with Season 6. Those people are lying to you and do not have your best interests at heart. The first five seasons are pretty much strictly comedy, and from Season 6 onward the show starts to explore deeper themes and stories while still falling back on that comedic foundation. Skipping straight to the deeper stuff doesn't work very well IMO, because those five seasons are spent getting to know the characters we're going to be following for the rest of the show. The stuff that happens in Blood Gulch never stops being important - whether it's side characters showing back up again later on, or laying the foundation for a lot of the moments and story lines that make some of the later seasons so special.

Anyways, the watch order.

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Out of Mind - Mini-series

Season 5

Blood Gulch Side Quests

Tattoo Point/Counterpoint - Season 1 PSA

A Message to the Science Community - Season 2 PSA

Real Life VS. The Internet - Season 2 PSA

All of the deleted scenes, honestly, but This One in particular because asphodel and I quote it all the time.

The Outtakes/Bloopers - I'm not gonna put the link for these and the deleted scenes for every arc, but just know that you should watch them after every season/arc. There's some great stuff in there.

The Season 5 Alternate Endings

Either watch it Now, or after you watch the finale, but I highly recommend the 2003 Season 1 DVD Commentary. It's just Burnie (Church/Lopez/Vic) and Geoff (Grif), and it's really nice.

If you've ever watched any behind the scenes stuff for RvB or even rooster teeth as a whole, you have almost certainly seen This Clip, which is a behind the scenes of the voice recording for Grif and Simmons' lines in episode 1.

The Recollection

Recovery One - Mini-series

Season 6 - Reconstruction

Relocated - Mini-series

Season 7 - Recreation

Season 8 - Revelation

Recollection Side Quests

First! - Season 6 PSA

Small Rewards - Season 6 PSA

Rock the Vote and Rock the Veto - PSAs made to encourage RvB viewers to register to vote. Which at the time you could do on your xbox 360. These are here mostly as a "wtf" historical piece.

Halo-Ween - Season 7 PSA

Valentine's Day - Season 7 PSA

Fire Safety: Where There's Smoke... - Season 7 PSA. genuinely one of the best.

Holiday Plans - Mini-series

The Reach PSA series - Three parts total, only part one is linked.

Project Freelancer Saga

Season 9

Technically there's two mini-series that take place during Season 9 - being M.I.A. and Where There's a Will, There's a Wall. I really love them, and would recommend watching them after S9, but if you really want to roll into S10 you won't miss much. Weirdly there's a place later on that would be a great spot to circle back to these, but I'll save that for later.

Season 10

Project Freelancer Side Quests

This is a great spot to circle back to older side quests you may have skipped, btw.

The Season 10 Table Read BTS - Season 10 was the first time they ever did a full cast table read for the show, and it's cool to see a few snippets from it and hear the crew talk about it.

Matt Hullum Talks to Himself - watch this after M.I.A. it's a live table read of part of the script, with a focus on a conversation between Sarge and Doc (who have the same voice actor)

This 10 Year Retrospective that was put out around Season 10. Watching it now, knowing that they were about halfway through the lifespan of the show / company gives it a whole new perspective.

RT Oz - PSA

Remember Not to Forget and Voting Fever - PSAs made to promote the launch of Halo 4. Voting Fever is one of the Best Ever (and listen to the full version of That's How Voting Works afterwards!)

This Interview between Burnie and Trocadero talking about the music the band has done for the show. This playlist also has a bunch of other behind the scenes and other such bonus stuff from the DVDs and Blu-Rays, it's great to keep around.

The Chorus Trilogy

Season 11

The Chorus Journal Entries - Only three have fully machinimated versions, the last one is just the log entry. Bridges the gap between 11 and 12

Season 12

Season 13

Chorus Trilogy Side Quests

#1 Movie in the Galaxy - PSA

Getting Away From it All - PSA

#1 Movie in the Galaxy: 2 - PSA

Uh. I think the RvB Holiday Special goes here

Matt Hullum (Sarge) reading an excerpt from 50 Shades of Gray at a book signing.

Season 14 - Anthology

I get it: not everyone loves the Anthology format. I truly do recommend watching all of it at least once - or if you haven't in a long time. My only Side Quests are to say that this is the perfect time to go back to M.I.A. and WTAWTAW if you skipped them after season 9, and that if you skipped the #1 Movie In the Galaxy PSAs during Chorus, watch them now before the third one, which is in this season.

The Shisno Trilogy (seasons 15, 16, and 17)

Season 15

Season 16 - The Shisno Paradox

Season 17 - Singularity

Shisno Side Quests (this is taken from our survey data because it's been so long since I've watched much of any shisno-related stuff)

Hard Truths - PSA

Diversity - PSA

Cultural Appreciation - PSA

Lopez's Technical Guide to Empathy - PSA

Unreal Estate - PSA

Caboose's Guide to Finding Your Home - sequel to the Guide to Making Friends from season 14

RvB: Zero + Family Shatters

okay so here's the deal. If by this point, you're really just interested in the characters you've been watching for the past 17 seasons and not so much the story or anything - you may not get much from watching Zero. I do think it's interesting to watch, if only because I think it's got a lot of missed potential. Zero is not served well by being a season of RvB, I think I would have liked it a lot more if it were stand-alone, though that doesn't fix all of my issues with it. If you wanna jump straight to the series finale, you absolutely can. It's a pretty short watch, though, and I've heard that Family Shatters was better. I'll watch that one at some point.

Zero

Family Shatters - spinoff

Restoration

This is it! The series finale.

I'm not doing this with an other season (though I do recommend going back and watching all the teasers and trailers at some point), but before you watch the finale you should watch The First Trailer For It. I think it sets up the season really well, and helps make some of the rushed set-up exposition in Restoration make a little bit more sense. honestly this should just be considered the first scene of the finale. Then watch the finale, and then you are done with all of the main show of Red VS Blue. Go forth, and be free.

Final Side Quest

I'm putting anything that came out in the nebulous time between Zero and the finale in here. I'll come back and edit this once we find out what on earth is going to be on the Blu-Ray.

Offensive Driving

First Person Tutor

Moving Out

The Video RT Made to Announce Master Chief and Blood Gulch Were Coming To Fortnite. This played at the game awards and my soul almost left my body

This is also where I'll put QvsA, which is the Grimmons mini-series, though I haven't actually watched it myself yet. They're all on youtube.

My all-time favorite RvB fan edit - doesn't actually have any clips post-anthology, but I think the end is a great time to watch it.

If none of this makes sense, or you just have any questions at all - I am More than happy to help answer your queries. I hope this helps :) Also if any of the links are broken please let me know.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 Emotional Outbursts

See if no one else on this website has my back, I know Ben has my back because he is giving me a chance to talk about my boy Patts once more

TOP 5 EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS OF 2023

Patts, La Pluie

gif by the beautiful, marvelous @liyazaki

Episode 10 was just an absolute masterclass in emotional outbursts. The fight between Lomfon and Patts, then Patts and Tai, then Lomfon and Tien, then Patts and Tai again. Like goddamn, finally thank fuck, Patts is able to let out years worth of frustration and pain at Tai's silence was just so beautiful, and cathartic, and necessary. What an absolutely incredible moment to not only witness but experience. Patts has been so kind, so patient, so forgiving, and it was time for all the pain that he's been letting simmer for two years out. Good! For! Him!

Uea and His Bio Family, Bed Friend

There are few characters in this world I hate more than Uea's mother, and it was so so so so so so wonderful to see Uea finally give her a piece of his mind. I am so proud of him for speaking his mind, standing his ground, and getting the ever living fuck out of his bio family's house. Too personal, sorry, but this fight hit especially well for me because I too have had a parent say they'd live perfectly happily without me, and it was great vindication of my reaction to that to see Uea GTFO immediately after.

Secondarily, James' sobbing screams at the beginning of episode 4 and in the flashback of him getting dragged in to the bathroom when he was an adult have never left my brain. James absolutely crushed those scenes and this was going to be my Bed Friend pick before I remembered this fight exists.

Jim and Li Ming // Heart and His Parents, Moonlight Chicken

I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that Jim and Li Ming's relationship dynamics is one of my favorite of all time. Aof is such an incredible screenwriter/director and I feel like he's able to make such realistic depictions of families in all their complicated glory. The screaming match between Jim and Li Ming is SO good, and really is what solidified my appreciation for Fourth's acting skills because there was a fucking storm cloud on his brow. Happy fucking birthday to you Uncle Jim I guess. Poor fucker.

And then of course, one of the first ever posts I made in the BL Sphere of tumblr was a full essay on Heart's confrontation which I loved so motherfucking much. Once again a much needed fight with lots of interesting, complicated emotions flying around the room.

Kiyoi and Hira, Utsukushii Kare Season 2

gif by @itsallaboutbl

"I'm sorry that I like you" one of the best moments of the year for me by far. This fight between Kiyoi and Hira was desperately, and I mean desperately needed. I know changing will be a slow process for the two of them, and even in Eternal they are no where near where they need to be, but Hira needs/needed to cut this Pebble to a God bullshit out and I am so glad that Kiyoi was able to call him on it. Also from a performance standpoint, Yagi Yusei had his work cut out for him as a scene partner to Hagiwara who absolutely bodied his role as Hira. In season one Yagi did not need to do all that much for his performance because we didn't know as much about Kiyoi until closer to the end, but that cannot be the case for Season 2 and Yagi knocked it out of the motherfucking park.

Sunshine and Q, 7 Days Before Valentine

Okay, almost positive this isn't a BL but I love when people structure TV shows like stage plays, and there was a fight between Sunshine and Q in like Episode 4 or 5 where they were shouting over each other and it just felt so real and the dead silence that hit the room when Q said something that struck a chord with Sunshine was expertly handled, and some of the best work I've seen out of Atom the whole show. I don't think anyone gifed it so I can't put the scene in, but I think you talked about it in your Stray Thoughts @bengiyo

And just cause I wanna, the Top 5 Emotional Outbursts of the pre-2023 shows I watched this year:

In and Wang's fight in 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep 8

Gav sobbing about his aunt in Gameboys (the movie, i think?)

Pran sobbing in to Pat's shoulder in Bad Buddy, Ep 10

Tarn's fight with Teh in I Told Sunset About You, Ep 4 (shout out to Smile there because I still cannot believe it was the first thing she filmed on set)

Shiro being terrified Kenji was dying and Kenji being worried Shiro was dying and the resulting clownery from them blurting that out in What Did You Eat Yesterday? I think it was the New Year's special.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[peach-and-bugs]

hii, jackie anon again back with another rq ^^ could you do dialogue 18 w/ jackie taylor if it's not too much trouble?

🐇Unadulterated Loathing - Jackie Taylor (1996) x fem!Reader🐇

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Summary: You could never understand why everyone in your school seemed to hold sweet Jackie Taylor up on some gold-plated pedestal. After all, she was just like every other pretty, popular, well-off teen girl, right? And highly doubt you're opinion of her will change after you're stuck working on your big Ap bio final with her...

Warnings: angst, but a happy ending, mildly suggestive yet tame humor

Word Count: 3,875

A/N: wow, this was way longer than I planned for it to be. Quick note: So I'm headcanons that Wiskayok High School/school district is kind of like how my school district works, where there is more than one elementary school, but the kids all come together and go to the same middle school. so y/n and Jackie didn't know one another till middle school. As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading! 🐇

Jackie Taylor Tag List:

Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf @minimickzy @damagnificentcookie

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🐇-

Ap Bio had become both your favorite and least favorite class in you’re schedule. On the one hand, You’d always had a fondness for science, but there was just something special about biology. It clicked in a way that no other subject did for you. You also loved your teacher to the point of often staying behind during lunch to continue talking about whatever you’re class topic had been. But now, the problem of your lab partner has arisen. Jackie Taylor, Wiskayok High School’s sweetheart, has been assigned as your new lab partner for the last quarter of the year. You were stuck with the queen bee for the entire final quarter working with her on your big bio final, and you were ready to slam you’re head into a wall.

Jackie had never done anything to you. You had no idea if she knew you existed till now. But you couldn’t help not liking her. There was just something about that shiny smile and the way the curls in her hair always laid perfectly over her shoulders that got under your skin. But she hadn’t done anything to make you not like her, and that alone just made you more irritated with her. 

She didn’t start a conversation right away when she sat next to you after you’re new assignment together. Your group was assigned to look into the effect of different types of hormones on gene expression, which wouldn’t be too difficult, and if you’d like, you could probably do all the work on your own. That would be good in case Jackie turned out to be one of those girls who expected you, the class nerd, to do the project anyways. You’d had that happen a few times now in group projects, so what’s one more time, right? 

You were listening to your teacher go over the guidelines for the assignment and show you examples from the past few years. You periodically scribbled down notes for future reference. After a bit of time, you began watching the clock, leaning your cheeks against your palm with an unintentionally pointing lip as you waited for the bell to ring. You wanted to leave class today, unlike most days. Maybe you’d hide in the library with your lunch and read up on your topic to get a headstart on the project. You decided it was better to assume you’d be doing it all on your own from the jump than to be blindsided, right? 

But as you waited for the bell, watching the hands of the clock tick away, your gaze began to wander. First, you watched the jock at the table next to the door, trying not to fall asleep. Then you moved on to the girl behind him reading a romance novel behind her textbook till you faltered again to Jackie sitting at your right. She was scribbling away in her notebook, honey-blonde hair obstructing any meaningful view of her face. The lined paper of her notebook had notes written in curly, clean handwriting, yet the margins were littered with doodles of flowers and bunnies. She was currently scribbling away at one of her doodles, having grown tired of notes the same as you. 

She only caught sight of your staring when the bell rang. Startled out of your haze by the clanging sound you'd waited for, you blinked, swallowing hard when you’re suddenly met with her bright hazel eyes as she brushed that hair that had been in her face out of the way and behind her ear. You felt your eyes widen as you sat frozen, but only for a second before you frantically started packing away your things into your backpack like the rest of your classmates. You could feel her stare, but she said nothing. That is, till she shook out of her daze. 

“Uh, hey-” she started as you began to leave. You’d hustled to the door but stopped at the sound of her voice, leaving you standing awkwardly by the door, hands clutching the strap of your backpack tight. “Do you wanna plan to meet up and work on the project?” she asked as she packed her notebook away into her bog, periodically looking up and back at you as she undid the zipper. You were surprised by the offer, and it delayed your response. 

“Um. Yeah, I guess we can,” you mumbled, feeling fidgety under the attention. She gave you that sparkly smile that she gave everyone when she looked back up at you, bag hung over her shoulder. 

“Great! You free this afternoon?” you were surprised she seemed so eager to get working. You awkwardly nodded and felt your heart begin beating faster as she walked towards you. 

“Don’t you have soccer practice, though?” you said quickly, shuffling ever so slightly away from her. She now stood right across from you by the door. Having her attention like this was strange, and you could only describe it as anxiety-inducing. 

“Shit, you’re right. I completely forgot about that,” she laughed, and you felt your stomach drop. “Well, we could always make Saturday work as long as-” she began babbling on about something you didn’t feel like you needed to know about to the point that you began feeling nauseated. 

“Hey, can we plan this tomorrow, maybe? I’ve gotta go,” you interrupted, lying through your teeth with your skin itching to get away. Jackie stopped what she was saying, and for a fleeting second, it looked like her smile had faded. 

“Oh, yeah. We’ll talk tomorrow then,” you'd already begun leaving before she could finish calling goodbye, which you knew was rude, but all you could think was how you had to get away. Which was even stranger considering she had been acting so nice! Jackie had never been nice to you. Well, Jackie had never been anything to you before. Why was her being nice so startling? You wracked your brain over it all as you hustled into the library to hide among the bookshelves. 

You could finally take a real breath when you found a secluded table tucked away in the corner of the library, nestled in with all of the books but by a window, which let a nice stream of light bask down onto the table. You arranged your things, found a few books on your project topic, and got to work, reading and periodically scribbling down notes as you ate the lunch you’d packed that morning. You’d stay there through lunch and into your free study hall period. Getting your study hall directly after lunch had to have been some kind of godsent. 

You’d gotten into a real groove or taking your notes. By now, you had to have nearly three pages, front and back, filled with different tidbits you could mention in your project. You’d lost track of time and your surroundings as you listened to your walkman while working. You were only shaken out of your little bubble when you heard a strong, purposeful throat-clearing beside you. You looked up to see Jackie standing over you with a few books in hand. You stared wide-eyed, forgetting about your headphones. That is, till the blonde scrunched her brow and gestured for you to take them off. You did, muttering your apology as the headphones hung around your neck. 

“I see you got started,” she chuckled again. You felt yourself grow embarrassed, like you’d been caught with your hand in the cookie jar after saying you’d had enough sweets for the day. Your eyes faltered away, down to your notes, as the grip on your pencil tightened. 

“Uh, yeah. I have a free period, so I thought I might as well,” you mumbled, fidgeting with the corner of your paper, folding it into itself. 

“Oh! Me too” She paused, looking around as though someone might see despite the table being tucked out of most people's way. “Well, mind if I sit? You could share what you’ve started, and we could make a gameplan,” She suggested. Given your current situation and the way you’d practically run from her earlier, you had no reason to decline, so you nodded, moving some of your things out of the way. She sat down at the other side of the table, but not directly across from you, more so diagonal. Maybe she could feel your apprehension about working for you. It wasn’t like you were trying to hide how you felt, but thinking she might know didn’t help the nauseating feeling in your gut. 

Calling the following interaction awkward would be an understatement. You had zero desire to integrate with Jackie outside of class, and she couldn’t seem to get the hint. Or maybe she did and was just choosing to ignore what you thought was your evident desire to be left alone. She started reading the books she’d picked up and writing her notes like you had been doing. But every time she read something that seemed noteworthy, she’d double check if you’d read and written that down already. It got to the point that you eventually just gave her your notebook to write in so she could read what you'd written down already and stop interrupting your reading.  

She seemed disappointed by this, but she didn’t voice it or argue. Unsteady, you spent the rest of the hour sitting at the same table, silently reading over textbooks. She didn’t attempt conversation till the bell rang, and you both had to pack up and go to class again. She started by offering you your notebook back, but she pointed out something she’s specifically written down when she handed it to you. 

“It’s my address. How about we meet up tomorrow at noon? My dad will be out golfing, and my mom’s got book club, so we’ll have quiet to work on the project. If that works for you, of course,” she seemed rather eager at the idea as she patiently waited for your reply. You paused for a moment, staring at her annoyingly near handwriting and her address till you relented. 

“Yeah, sure. Noon tomorrow” you agreed with a nod. She seemed to smile slightly more and nodded quickly. 

“Noon tomorrow,” she repeated, taking a step back as she moved to leave. “I’m already looking forward to it,” You watched her go with her little wave and had to refrain from rolling your eyes. You had a bad, nauseating feeling about tomorrow already. 

-🐇-

All you could do was stand outside the Taylor’s house, staring up at the two-story with wide eyes, regretting ever letting yourself get into this situation. Something felt so wrong about you walking towards the house, so much so that you contemplated turning tail and leaving. That is till Jackie opened the door, beckoning you inside. It was too late to back out now, so you begrudgingly made your way up the lawn. 

“I’m glad you made it,” she began as you walked into the house, you noticed her lack of shoes, so you took yours off, leaving them behind by the door. “Oh, thank you for that! I completely forgot to mention it, and my mother would kill me,” she joked. You forced a smile and hummed but gave her no reaction beyond that. She paused and took a breath, murmuring a quiet ‘right’ before taking you upstairs. 

“I thought we’d work in my room unless you'd rather go in the living room since no one's home,” You shrugged, eyes glancing around the house as you followed her. 

“Doesn’t matter to me,” you dryly said as she sat down on her bed, pulling out her schoolwork as she sat with her legs crossed against the pillows. You hesitated, standing in the middle of your room with your bag in hand. 

“You can come and sit over here if you like,” she chuckled, patting the space in front of her on the bed. After a pause, you did as instructed, sitting at the foot of the bed with your bag beside you. You began to rummage around, pulling out your notebook, pencils, and textbook. 

“I can get you something to drink or a snack if you like,” she offered. She was fidgeting with her pencil and notebook open over her lap, but she hadn’t started writing anything yet. 

“I’m alright,” you began flipping through your notes, not looking up. 

“Ok, well. Do you have any thoughts on how you wanna do this or…”

“I thought I’d write the paper, and you do the visuals,” You replied as though this was the most obvious course of action. Jackie stared at you for a moment till she nodded. 

“Yeah,” her voice cracked as she tucked hair behind her ear, looking around the room. “Yeah, tha works for me,” looking up from your notebook, you noticed the way she bit the inside of her cheek. 

“Y’know what? I’m gonna get something to snack on anyways,” she said it more like she was telling herself than she was you. You watched her leave like she was in a rush, leaving you alone in her room. Immediately you felt uncomfortable with the situation, so you pulled out your Walkman and began listening to that while you scribbled away in your notes, getting yourself started on the final paper. 

Jackie didn’t return for some time, but when she did, she was carrying a big bowl of popcorn with her that she set on the bed after sitting down again. She watched you expectantly but didn’t say a word till you took your headphones off. 

“You want some?” she gestured to the bowl. You shook your head. 

“No, I’m fine,” you turned your attention back to the paper. “But thanks,” you remembered to add at the end. The next hour was relatively quiet as you both worked. You’d made a decent dent in the paper, and Jackie had started sketching a mock-up of the visual display. She’d handed you her notes to get your opinion, and you simply nodded, telling her it was good and to go ahead. In all honesty, after that, you saw little point in working together anymore. You could easily write the paper at home while she worked on the presentation, right? 

“Hey, I think I’m gonna get going,” you started. She looked up, confused. 

“But we only just got started,” she began to argue. You felt yourself grow uncomfortable with her seeming eagerness for you to stay. 

“Well, I can work on this at home. We don’t need to be together after all,” 

“But isn’t it good to work together? Like, to have a soundboard or whatever?” She stood up suddenly and began rummaging for something around the room. Growing alarm clawed at your throat, and you turned around in your seat on the bed to keep your eye on her. “It’s a group project, after all!” She was growing more impatient, and you couldn’t distinguish why. 

“Yeah, but it's not a huge deal-” she turned around to face you again, her hair aggressively swishing as she faced you with a distressed look.

“You really can’t stand me that much?” she yelped, genuinely sounding hurt. You froze, paralyzed with no idea what to do. You’d never imagine that Jackie, of all people, would care about what you thought of her. You didn’t think Jackie cared about anyone’s opinion, let alone you! 

“I never said I didn’t like you-” 

“Well, it’s obvious you don’t!” she interrupted. She looked like she might be on the verge of tears as she began pacing the room. You started to panic.

“No, it isn’t!” you knew it was a terrible retort, but what else could you say? So you got onto the defensive. “But why would you even care if I didn’t like you? I’m nobody!” your voice faltered, and you cringed with embarrassment. You had no idea what was going on or how you even got into this situation. Jackie was nearly and tears, and you found you were too, and you thought you might throw up on the spot from the grinding, nauseating feeling twisting your gut. Jackie sniffled, wiping her nose. But at least she’d stopped pacing and now stood facing you. The sound and motion drew your attention back in.

“You’re not nobody,” her voice was almost pitiful. She sheepishly met your eyes, biting her lip. She was considering something, but you couldn’t tell what. You felt afraid under her gaze. 

“Yes, I am,” was all you could say back. You picked at the skin of your thumbs, hoping the motion could calm your racing heart. “I doubt you even knew my name before we had this class together,” 

“Well, I did, actually,” there was a heavy pout in her voice. She caved and walked back to the bed, sitting in the space you'd previously occupied but scooted from when she’d stood up. She was almost unbearably close. “I’ve known about you since seventh grade,” only when she said that did you look up at her. Her gaze was soft yet almost timid. It seemed unnatural for her, given her constant air of confidence.

“You got that writing award at that assembly we had with the whole school at the beginning of the year. Most people who were getting awards were eighth graders,” she seemed to recall it fondly. “But I remember how you walked across that stage with that huge smile to take that award from the principal. You didn’t look nervous or afraid. Just happy to be getting that award,” you were stunned she even remembered that day. You barely even remembered it yourself, now that you thought about it. 

“But so what? What about that makes me liking you matter so much?” 

“I dunno, maybe because of your nice or something?” She was getting upset again. Her face was red with frustration, and she kept dramatically sighing and scoffing. And you weren’t sure what caused it, and you knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but you laughed. It started as a chuckle, but then it turned into full blow, hysterically tear-inducing laughter. You knew it was wrong, and you expected her to slap you in the face, but she didn’t. 

After her initial shock, you heard a snicker, and then she, too, laughed. And as you heard her laugh ring you, you realized it was like a song that you wanted to be stuck in your head. And unlike what you may have anticipated, it didn’t scare you anymore. You managed to quiet and subside your fit of giggles, thumbing away tears that brimmed your eyes from the pressure, a smile still waving over your lips. Jackie appeared the same, but she looked away again, that shy blush water-coloring her cheeks as she smiled. 

“I just really want you to like me, but I can’t explain why,” she managed to say finally, looking back up at you. She’d gotten closer again when you were distracted. You could almost feel her breath fanning over your face as she bit her lip in silent consideration. 

“I do like you,” you managed to say, eyes unconsciously wandering down to her lips, then flashing back to her eyes out of fear of being caught. But though you expected scorn, you were met with excitement in her eyes, followed by a tilt of her head, and then all at once, her eyes shut, and her lips were on yours, tentative and curious. Anxiety told you to pull away, but frozen in surprise, you found you couldn’t. Instead, you sat, eyes wide as you practically vibrated in anticipation, though you dared not move. It was the same kind of excitement and anxiety you’d feel trying to get close to a wild rabbit. The slightest wrong move, and it would surely run. 

But Jackie didn’t run. She did pull away, but she didn’t stray. She watched with a squeezing apprehension on her face, expecting to have a mess to clean up on her hands. You were left completely speechless, terrified she’d regret her actions immediately and make you leave, and she’d never speak to you again. But again, Jackie didn’t run, and she didn’t make you either. 

“Say something,” she tried to state, but it came out more like a plead. You scanned her face and did the only thing you could think of in your hazy state. You took her hand, which sat behind you, holding her up as she leaned into you and took her lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. As you kissed her, you felt her smile, with the sound of a muffled chuckle. 

Her fingers from her free hand eventually grazed over your cheek, tucking hair behind your ear before wrapping wound the small of your neck to toy with the baby hairs that grew there. When you pulled away, she adjusted so she was practically in your lap with how close she was. Her arms looped lazily over your shoulders and around your neck as she played with your hair, looking you over dreamily. 

“My mother would end me if she found out about this,” she giggled, clearly enjoying her little silent rebellion. 

“You like girls?” was the only thing you could think, and of course, that’s what your big mouth had to blurt out. You immediately cringed, squeezing your eyes shut and resisting the urge to slap yourself in the face. But fortunately, she laughed that lovely laugh you’d begun to grow fond of. 

“It seems like I do,” she attempted to sound coy in her reply. “And it sounds like you look like girls, too,” she added. You looked at her again and relaxed with a smile, rolling your eyes. 

“I thought that had been obvious since freshman year,” Jackie shook her head. 

“I mean, not to me,” 

“Oh, so you didn’t pick the gay girl to try out kissing girls?” You'd grown confident out of nowhere and smirked. Jackie’s cheeks flushed again, and her jaw dropped in mock shock as she tried suppressing a laugh in her throat. In a moment of mock irritation, she shoved your shoulders, gently knocking you onto your back, meeting the duvet cover of her bed in a fit of amused giggles. Without a fleeting consideration, she sat on top of you, her thighs on either side of your hips as her hands pressed against your chest. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinning as you looked up at her. Her brows raised, eyes wide as she realized the position she’d put herself in, that pink blush in her face turning bright red.

“Well, look who’s miss confidence now, huh?” you couldn’t resist the tease. Your restraint had gone out the window with this new understanding of your feelings. Your irritation and avoidance of Jackie Taylor had only been a poorly placed front for your real feelings. You’d been smitten with her for years now but refused to look at it in the right lighting. She scrunched her nose and tried to frown, but the corners of her lips kept flickering upwards in amusement as you grinned, which only egged her on more. So she did the only thing she could think. She leaned in again, wiping that smirk away with her lips. 

[bunny-queen]

you can be you

hey babes, long post ahead

i've felt for a long time since entering the LOA community that there's a lot of pressure on everyone who knows how to conciously manifest

it seems like after you grasp that YOU are the creator of your reality and that YOU can do literally anything you want, almost everyone expects us to want 'big' things

by big i mean mansions, resort trips, a sports car, a new phone, a celebrity SP, being a public figure, being a millionaire... this kind of life

and although there's nothing wrong with living like that, or wanting to live like that, it's perfectly fine if it's not your dream life

edward art says in one of his reddit posts (remind me to link it here later) that if you somehow aren't manifesting X thing, it might be because......... it's not what you actually want

you may have convinced yourself that you SHOULD want that thing, but deep down, you feel indifferent towards it. you don't think about it a lot, you don't imagine yourself being happy with the thing, you don't lie in bed daydreaming about it. and eventually you realize it might not be coming into the 3D

this has definitely happened to me before. i had spent MONTHS affirming and listening to subliminals for my ideal face, but i had little to no results in the material world, and i could not for the life of me figure out what i was doing wrong

you guessed it: i wasn't doing anything wrong. but social media LOA comms had eventually convinced me that kpop idols are the epitome of beauty, and that any east asian should be manifesting to be a carbon copy. i saw that, thought 'hm, alright' and proceeded to frustrate myself endlessly trying to manifest something i didn't even want. a year later, here i am, realizing i like my current face better than any idol's out there, and that's why i didn't get results

and it happened yet again regarding my college applications and entrance exams. because people on this hellsite are constantly encouraging others to go directly to the end, i thought 'ah, i should manifest that i've ALREADY passed, then. that i don't even need to take the exam'

so i did it, i affirmed, i meditated, yadda yadda, and made myself MISERABLE. bc apparently i like to study, and i'm excited to take the exam! doing this way might not be the most straightfoward way, but it's what i want. i *want* this experience

long ass post but the moral of the story is that: just bc you know about the law, it doesn't mean you put on a show about your desires. you don't need to manifest 10 billion dollars just to show an imaginary audience that you can. just to post it on tumblr. you don't need to manifest a mansion in LA just bc that is the type of success story that gets the most likes

you're allowed to still want a quiet, simple life, even if you're God. you're allowed to not care about new phones, new clothes, and instead manifest more crochet yarn, and that the weather's good everyday. you're allowed to be happy with yourself and not want to lose/gain weight, change your height, your eye color, or any other features. you're allowed to want to be a normal college kid, and not a victorias secrets angel. it's okay to be you

[bridgertonbabe]

Signing off.

I never really thought I'd ever write a post like this and to be perfectly honest I feel a bit cringe for even making a thing out of this but I felt it necessary to address those of you who follow me and my writings.

In the last month I have been suffering severely from anxiety, waking up to what feels like a ball of dread clutching at my heart and being unable to shift it for the better part of the day. It's all come to a head as of late because I've reached a crossroads in my life where I've realised just how unhappy and unfulfilled I am. Truth to be told I really don't have any aspect in my life that I am happy with and for years I've dismissed myself and my own desires for the sake of others to the point where I have no self worth, no self confidence, and I just feel like a shell of a person. Realising that I can't go on like this, that I can't live the life I aspire to without sorting my mental health out, I've taken the first steps in getting counselling and in going to the doctors to be put on anti-depressants.

While I'm already starting to feel better, I've decided it's in my best interests to take some other steps going ahead; which is I'm logging off this account.

Don't get me wrong, this account has brought me fulfillment in the last two and a half years and I've had so much fun interacting with so many of you but as of late I've become very disengaged with Bridgerton. It's one of several of my hyperfixations which I have become anxious with in the last few weeks, in part because they are what I used to immerse myself in as a means to distract myself from a dissatisfying existence, but now I've decided to make a change in my life for the better, everything that I once used to bury my head in the sand has now essentially given me the ick. Bridgerton is just now one of several things that I feel the need to distance myself from in order to fully focus and concentrate on bettering my mental health as well as getting what I want out of life.

As much as I've taken pride in writing because of Bridgerton, my dream has always to one day publish a book of my own and I need to refocus my energies on writing my own original stories to have the chance of maybe being able to make that dream a reality. I would have so dearly loved to have been able to complete a whole host of WIPs (would have also loved to have been able to just focus on one story at a time but c'est la vie) and I can only apologise to anyone who's been hoping for an update from any of them.

You will still be able to read all of my works on AO3 (plus I've restored a couple I had previously hidden from view), and I won't be deleting this tumblr so all of my drabbles and various posts will still be here for you to browse and read at your leisure.

Though I'm stepping away from this account, I don't necessarily know if this will be forever. I might well end up in a better place mentally at some point and return with a healthier state of mind where I can enjoy Bridgerton again, and I would never rule out contributing writings again - however as it stands, I don't want to promise anything and taking care of my mental health is my main priority for now and the foreseeable future.

I also just wanted to take the opportunity to thank every single person who has ever liked, reblogged, and interacted with me since I joined. I had never previously shared any of my creative writing online and thought it would be nice if even a single person somewhere vaguely liked anything I had to share - but over the last two and a half years I've been given such a boost from the amount of people who have reached out and commented on any one of my silly writings. I don't think you'll ever understand just how much it has meant to me and the love and appreciation will stay with me forever.

That about does it, so thank you all for everything. I wish you all a lifetime of health and happiness.

Signing off,

Shinnie

xxx

[acourtofmarvels]

Miracle

Azriel x OC

Summary: Azriel's mate is Rhysand's sister. She died a long time ago by the hand of the High Lord of the Spring court. Something happens when the Inner Circle goes to Hybern...

(I should point out this is my first time ever posting something I wrote on Tumblr. I have wrote things before on Wattpad, thought I'm not very good. This is short but I hope at least one person likes it lol.)

I changed the ending of ACOMAF sorry not sorry. I liked the idea of this fic lol

Warnings: uh, murder and violence? (did i do this right?)

Word count: 2647

Azriel was never the same when she died. None of them were. She was family. A sister. A cousin. A best friend. His mate.

She was taken from them in such a surprise. The High Lord of the Spring court took her and her mother, for what? Hatred? Maliciousness? Out of pure evil?

Rhysand got revenge for his sister and mother. Azriel got his revenge for the woman who raised him, and his mate. Alongside the High Lord of the Night Court, who lost his life that day too.

Killing the High Lord and his sons, except for one.

Azriel and Rhiannon didn't find out they were mates for about 100 years. It was a shock to both of them. They never had the chance to accept the bond before she was killed.

"Tell me about her," Feyra whispered, running her fingers up and down her mates bare chest. Rhysand didn't talk much about his sister. None of the inner circle did. It was too hard on them. No one even mentioned her name, especially not in front of Azriel.

Rhysand had told Feyre what happened to his sister and mother long ago. And Feyre talking about Elain and Nesta reminded him of her.

Rhysand smiled as he remembered her. "She was kind, selfless. Stubborn and hard headed," he chuckled a bit. The sound of his laugh warmed Feyre's heart. "Her and Cassian were much alike. The two of them were always causing mischief. It drove our mother crazy..." Rhysand paused, trying not to get choked up. "She was strong. Hell of a fighter. We taught her everything we knew. Illyrian women weren't meant to be fighters long ago, thats why most of them got their wings clipped."

Just the mention of what they use to do in the past made his blood boil. He took a deep breath to contain his anger. "Father never wanted her to fight either. But everyday after training I would come home and teach her everything i learned that day. Didn't matter how tired and sore I was. And she would do it perfectly. Never faulting. She loved to fly. Father never clipped her wings but he didn't want her flying either. I always went with her or covered for her when she wanted to."

"Can I ask about her and Azriel?" Feyra was nervous to ask about the two of them. She knew they were mates but never got a chance to accept the bond.

Rhys moved the hair out of her face, staring down and admiring her. He loved that she got him to talk about Rhiannon again.

And he nodded simply at her question.

"Why didn't they accept the bond?"

"They were going to. There was going to be a wedding. Mother even made her dress. But then she... " He couldn't talk about her death.

"I don't know when the bond snapped into place for them but the night Azriel came to tell me, I knew something was off with him. I have never EVER seen Azriel that scared and nervous. Azriel is so good at hiding his emotions but that night..." A huge smile was on his face as he remembered. "I thought Az was going to shit his pants right in front of me."

"But I was so happy for them. Two important people in my life becoming mates... I envied Azriel for a while. That he found his person. I wanted that." Tears welded up in his eyes as he looked down at Feyre. He lifted her up so he could place a kiss upon her lips. "Now I have and when I look at him I... I feel guilty. His mate his gone."

"I understand. I feel it sometimes too. How can I be so happy when others are not? How is it fair?"

"We never got a proper sending for them. We never got their wings. I-I don't even know what he did with them." As Rhys began to cry all Feyre could do was hold him. She herself cried for her mate, feeling the pain he was feeling through the bond.

Azriel smelled it the second they entered the castle. He knew that intoxicating scent anywhere. No matter if it had been centuries, he would never forget. It had to be old. He knew she had been here before. Just two times in the past with Cassian for whatever mission it had been.

Azriel almost got sick to his stomach when they finally saw it. Right above the cauldron, pinned to the wall like a trophy... Her glorious wings.

Everyone knew who they belonged to the second they got there. Somehow Feyre even figured it out, never even knowing her.

"The trap was so easy, I'm honestly a bit disappointed you didn't see it coming." Faster than any of them could see, Jurian fired a hidden ash bolt through Azriel's chest. Mor screamed.

They had no choice but to go with the king.

***

"They are beautiful... Illyrian wings. I just had to get some for myself." The King smiled evilly. "I have your father to thank for that." He directed it that to Tamlin. He motioned his soldiers to remove the wings from the wall.

What more could he do? Azriel is dying. Cassian's wings shredded. He's turned the Archeron sisters into Fae. He plans to turn the human queens too.

"Daemati are hard to come by nowadays. Your sister was also one, wasn't she Rhysand?" None of them dared to move. Rhysand said nothing, curling his fingers into fists. "Daemati are powerful. To have one at my hands..." He ran his dirty fingers down the wings. He snatched them from his guards and without blinking he threw them into the cauldron.

The room filled with a piercing screech and a blinding light from the cauldron. The room shook as if there were an earthquake. When he light faded everyone stared at the cauldron, waiting. Just waiting to see what happened next.

Then it happened. A hand shot out, followed by another as a figure pulled themselves out of it. The King of Hybern smiled wickedly as his plans were coming all together.

Everyones eyes were wide, even the Kings own men were shocked. The woman who submerged out of the cauldron, a ghost, but never forgotten. Her eyes completely white and fogged over. Not a single emotion on her face.

"Come," The King's voice echoed, ordering the female to him.

"Rhia," Rhysand choked out. His sister didn't even look at him. She just went and stood by the King of Hybern, doing exactly as he said as if she were a puppet, and he were the puppet master. "Rhiannon, please. It's me." Rhys was pleading with his sister. To look at him. To show something, anything. Was it really her?

Mor screamed her name through her sobbing. With whatever strength he had, Cassian had to hold her back. He couldn't risk the King of Hybern hurting her too. Cassian pleaded for her also. But none of them could snap her out of whatever spell the cauldron put her under.

"Rhiannon," Azriel's voice was barely a whisper. He was going in and out of consciousness. Feyre watched as the white light flickered for just a second in her eyes.

"Call to her again," Feyre said to Azriel only.

"Rhiannon," Azriel said as loud as he could. Feyre saw that her eyes flicker again. Again, she spoke. "I love you, Rhiannon."

And just like that, her eyes turned back to her normal glowing purple and her hands were around the King's throat, her entire body pinning him down to the ground. Rhysand, Mor and Feyre, the only ones not completely hurt were up to their feet in an instance to fight off the soldiers running to their king.

"You will never be a god," Rhiannon hissed, squeezing onto the Kings neck as hard as she could until his head was separated from his shoulders.

She stood up slowly, rolling her shoulders back and cracking her neck. She turned around to see her family, dripping in blood but all alive.

Rhia looked down at her bloody hands, to her arms, her legs. Her body was completely bare. Her skin still glistening from the liquid of the cauldron. She was alive. She flexed her wings out as she realized she had them back.

She looked down at the ground, seeing Cassian and Azriel. Both of them bleeding out and barely alive. Her eyes met her brothers. He was the last thing she saw before she blacked out.

***

Rhiannon awoke with a gasp, clutching onto her chest, body flailing around in the bed she was in. She began to calm down once she realized where she was. Though the room was different, she recognized the townhouse anywhere. She couldn't remember how she got here or what happened. Darkness. She remembered darkness. How long has it been?

She looked around the room, only now noticing the many people sleeping on the floor and in the chairs. Cassian was hanging off the couch in the room, Mor opposite of him, her feet basically kicking him in the face. Below them layed her brother on a mattress, a woman unfamiliar to her tangled beside him. To their left was Amren, arms crossed over her chest and her head hanging back as she was asleep in the chair.

As she looked to her right she finally saw him. He was using his arm as a pillow as he was sitting in a chair but laying his head on the side of the bed she lay. She reached out to him, his shadows wrapped around her fingers. His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. She gasped and jumped back, eyes wide.

They stared at each other for what felt like minutes but was only seconds. Azriel made the first move as he grabbed her hand, winnowing them out of the bedroom and downstairs away from the sleeping others.

Images of what happened circled in her mind as she began to remember what happened in Hybern. "I heard you," Was the first thing she said, a sob escaping her mouth. Azriel placed his scarred hands on the sides of her face, tears rolling down his face.

"You were here and I still couldn't believe it. Madja said you may never wake up. It's been weeks. We never gave up on you. I never left your side. I'll never leave your side again." They held onto each other for a long moment, taking in this moment. Azriel dreamed of holding her in his arms every night. Against all odds, against everything, his dream came true. His mate was alive.

There was a loud thud upstairs making Rhiannon jump out of Azriel's embrace. Running, loud, footsteps shook the house as multiple people ran down the stairs. Azriel grabbed hold of her again, needing that closeness.

"Fucking move, Cas!" Was the first thing she heard from her brother as him and Cassian fell off the bottom two steps. Rhysand pushed Cassian's body off of him, looking up at his sister. Matching smiles came upon their faces as Rhysand jumped to his feet, pulling her out of Azriel's grip and into his arms.

"I thought I lost you forever," Rhys whispered into his sisters hair, kissing the top of her head. He pulled away just looking at her face. They're matching violet eyes both filling with tears.

"I couldn't save her," She shook her head. "I fought so hard Rhys. If not save myself then save her."

"I know, I know." Rhys soothed her, stroking his hand down the back of her hair. Rhys found the aftermath of the people who took them. There was at least 20 dead Spring Court soldiers. He and his brothers trained her well. "You're safe now."

"Okay, my turn!" Rhysand was pulled away from Rhiannon harshly. She let out a yelp as Cassian picked her up and spun her around the room.

"Easy, Cass. Don't break her." Amren barked behind him.

He set her down to her feet, kissing her cheeks and forehead. A goofy smile on his face. "I missed you too, Cassian." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek also.

"Simmer down, Az. You're stinking up the room." Mor joked, making everyone else laugh. "Jealousy isn't a good look on you."

"Aw, Azzy you want a kiss too," Cassian reached for Az, only to get punched in the gut.

"Finally, come here my sweet," Mor laughed, pulling Rhia to herself now. Kissing her cheeks just as Cassian did. Everyone finally got their hugs and kisses with Rhiannon. Most going back for seconds. Even Amren wanted a hug.

Azriel always had to be right beside her, needed to be touching her always. Wether that was a gentle hand at the lower part of her back, or holding onto her hand.

"Rhia there is someone I want you to meet." Rhysand held his hand out to the woman who had been quietly observing the reunion from the side. "This is Feyre. My mate."

Rhia almost began to cry again but she held it back. "Your mate?" Rhysand's smile was so big. "You found your mate." She placed a gentle hand on her brothers face, seeing how happy he was just by the mention of the female.

Feyre waited patiently for Rhia to acknowledge her first. Rhiannon approached Feyre slowly. This was it. This is the moment Feyre had been nervously thinking about for the past few weeks.

"You're so beautiful," Rhia beamed, a bright smile on her face. Feyre and Rhys both let out a sigh of relief. Rhiannon's eyes immediately went down to the tattoo covering Feyre's arm. Her eyes wide at realizing what it meant. "High-" Her sentence was cut off short by Feyre hugging her.

"It is an honor to meet you." Feyre said to her. Everyone laughed at the look on Rhia's face, certainly not expecting that.

"The honor is mine, my High Lady." Rhia did a small bow to her, before taking Feyre's hands in hers. "I've always wanted a sister."

"Hey! What about me?" Mor barked loudly, making everyone laugh.

"Just ignore her, I have no idea who she is." Rhia 'whispered' to Feyre.

"Alright just cause you came back to life and shit, and this is easily the happiest day of my life, doesn't mean I won't kick your ass." Mor jumped toward Rhia who started to run away laughing loudly.

That laugh. That laugh is music to everyone's ears.

"Mother save us," Amren muttered, shaking her head.

As the moment came by, Azriel grabbed his mate, shielding her from Mor. A rare smile on his face.

"Ha!" Rhia laughed, pointing at Mor who couldn't get past Azriel's wings.

"So not fair." Mor pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can't hide behind him forever. He'll have to walk away at some point."

"Who says I'm ever leaving her side?" Azriel challenged. Mor rolled her eyes dramatically.

"So are we gonna be planning a wedding soon?" Cassian spoke up, wiggling his eyebrows and sending a wink at Rhia.

She suddenly got nervous, stepping out from behind him so they could face each other. "Do you still... Do you still want to accept the bond?" Rhia didn't know how long it had been she she died, but she knew it had been a couple centuries. What if Azriel found someone else? What if he's already married and fallen in love with someone else?

It was if Azriel could see exactly what was going on in her mind. Maybe he felt her sense of nervousness and fear through the bond.

"I have loved only you for centuries, and I will love you for many more." Azriel cupped her face in his hands, pressing a kiss to her lips. "I am yours, forever."

"And I am yours."

Acotar Masterlist

[unorcadox]

UNORCADOX

howdy, i'm mabel! it's the 3 year anniversary of unorcadox today, so i've prepared a decent bit of surprises. (and yes that means i started this blog in 2020, which is terrifying to think about.) i'll go into those new things under the cut, but first... check out the carrd linked in the header text of this post :3c

sooo soo so so so where on earth do i begin. uhh honestly let me just break down the new stuff first since i can talk about that more easily.

THE NEW LOOK! ok so like truth be told, i've been a faceless blog on purpose up until now. it wasn't until this summer where i actually liked how i looked or had any solid sense of my own aesthetic or what i wanted to look like. it also made it easier to protect against dysphoria and transphobes in the same breath, as no one could ever comment on any aspect of my appearance, or even the mere suggestion i even had one to begin with! but that all changes now, i'm going to actually have a presence on this blog, as it is MY blog and tbh i'm tired of being so faceless on here. that's why i've been doing more asks and non-edit posts recently, and those will increase in frequency. check out the carrd for more info, my sona's ref, and art credits for assets on here <3

mondays -> MUSIC MONDAYS! so it might come as a shock i'm actually a musician in addition to making stuff on here! i've promoted my music a couple of times by now, but nothing all that substantial. sooo, considering that, i'm going to be replacing monday oc posts with a music post! just a link to a song on my bandcamp and a little description about it. i don't really care if these perform particularly well, but i want to give people a chance to actually hear it without having to deep dive through my entire internet history to get it. i also will be releasing more soon-- whether via compilations of older work or new stuff altogether :3

MORE IN THE FUTURE! i have a couple other ideas up my sleeve, we'll see how they pan out but i wanna keep trying new possibilities on here. i think at this point i've proven my consistency, and it's about time i let myself have a little fun and explore my options. these will be announced individually but probably added here over time as this is the new pinned post lol.

----- ----- -----

ok so anyways, i do wanna have the mandatory sappy segment because of course i do. i want to say a couple of things but i'll split them into bullet points again bc yeah i do that.

this year has been really good for me and the blog, in most ways it's been the straight up best year of my life uncontested. not everything has gone perfectly, i had other plans that fell through, but hey that's just how life goes huh. at one point, i was easily projected to hit 20k by the end of the year, and now i'll be happy if i hit 17k lol. tumblr has not been that kind to my blog's growth this year and it's making me consider other options in the future, but everything's so scary rn i don't wanna commit to anything.

as for the blog itself, i've kinda been in a weird spot with it for a while. i've been scraping by on here intermittently for the entire year on and off, and i might have some ways to help keep me on top of the ball during the next year, but i also do wonder how long i can really keep doing this, and how long people will still like weirdcore and my work in particular. i've been considering branching out in terms of my presentation, or format, or style, but i feel incredibly weird about doing so.

in my personal life, this is the year i finally started transitioning and seeking treatment for my most pressing issues. i've finally started dating the love of my life, my best friend of 10 years, and despite some interpersonal turmoil all around me, i think i'm finally finding safe ground and knowing what i wanna do next. i don't really talk about it on here because i'm very private about it, but i've been kinda slowly becoming like a Real Adult Person this year. i didn't really have much of a chance to prior and i still am struggling a lot, but hey i know what i want now!

it's really silly to say but this blog still means a lot to me! it's seen me through the craziest times in my entire life, it's brought me so much perspective and knowledge and opportunities i wouldn't've had otherwise. i wake up every day and go on here and never stop feeling starstruck that people chose to follow me. i know tumblr success means nothing but to me it's the only community i've ever actually belonged to, so thank you all.

ok so like i really just don't have much else to say anymore, so i think i'll end it there! thank you all again, i can't wait for year 4 as it's going to definitely be a crazy one lol. let's hope it's a good one too!

[batrachised]

and so we come to the end of Jane of Lantern Hill!

Before I get into the somewhat wincingly bad ending, I'd like to mull over my personal journey with the book out loud, because what is tumblr for if not for navel gazing.

It sounds odd, but for all I've read this book a thousand times before, I had actually never picked up on a lot of what the book club has discussed. I found this book at an age I don't remember, but it was young, and I was glued to it after that and reread it so many times with that first framing. If you had asked me to describe Lantern Hill before the book club, I would have immediately pointed to those chapters in the middle where Jane is thriving, happy with a dad who understands her, her foot on her native heath. In all honesty, I barely registered the existence of Robin. I had my problems with her, but was fairly neutral on her overall because to me the book was so entirely about Jane's experience on PEI. While I knew the book had this disparity between intent and execution in some places, they were in the places I never really looked at twice.

Reading this book so slowly this time around with so many different perspectives was very entertaining lol, most especially because there were so many wildly different opinions, and often on things I had never thought through deeply myself. Robin is the best example of that. And honestly, it's changed my love for the book-not in a way that dampens it, but in a way that gives me a new appreciation. I remember thinking of Jane as a very simple book when I read it over a decade ago for the first time; it's only now with the book club that I'm grasping how truly complex it, and its characters, are. In many ways, there aren't easy answers here.

In the end, I really like a line from a review I read the other day: this is a book whose heart does not lie in the ending. That reflects my personal reaction to the novel perfectly. To me, this book was always about Jane finding her spot on PEI, probably because of the age I first read it. Jane's adventures in homemaking are cozy and satisfying and heartwarming, and they made me want to have a little kitchen and struggle with donuts and learn how to garden.

That being said, the overarching plot and its sad clown honk of an ending can't be ignored. I actually think Robin and Andrew rushing back into each other's arms makes sense for the characters, even if it's very rushed because they're insane. However, it's also emblematic of all the problems they had before, and indicates these problems will continue. LMM does set up them up for success in that (1) Andrew apologizes and overcomes his pride (2) Robin stands up to the grandmother. However, it's more than a little slapdash. Then there's the ultimate parentification of Jane, albeit self-parentification. I do think Jane thinking she'd communicate for her parents is Jane's potentially flawed reading...but I don't think LMM meant it to be flawed sklsksl. This is where I say for me, the book ends with the chapter before, because for me, the book is about Jane's emotional arc. While I do like that the parents get back together, I don't think LMM earns this ending.

All of the discussion from the book club has been delightful, and a dream come true. There are some points raised that I'm still thinking over, and will still be thinking over for a while. so i'll end this post by thanking everyone who participated by posting and sharing posts - it was a ball, and all of ya'll know your onions <3

[sex-obsessed-lesbian]

The Tale of SOL's Highly Mediocre First Hypnokink Play Partner

CW: mediocre consent practices.

I realized that I posted this on Twitter but never on here, so for anyone who hasn't heard this one before, buckle up for the story of SOL'S Highly Mediocre First Hypnokink Play Partner!

It's the fall after i graduated college, I’m starting to dabble in the scene, I’ve found hypno tumblr and am like “omg this thing I’ve always fantasized about is REAL and people actually use it for SEX???”, and I go to a nearby university's kink group meetup about hypnokink.

As part of the class we pair up and try some stuff. I pair w/ this guy—a college senior, he’s actually tranced to files etc. so he knows a bit more than me at this point about how this works IRL. He does a perfectly middling progressive relaxation induction on me.

I say “Oh okay i think i see how this works” and proceed to ZONK him because like, I'm a good top and have good instincts (and also improv training).

And after that, we proceed to meet up a few times as practice partners—I still live with my parents so I come over to his dorm and he exiles his roommate (Jesus Christ i thought I’d be done with this shit when I graduated).

So the problem with this situation is that I never got a proper pretalk or explanation of what trance did/n't feel like, what hypno could/n't do or make you do, how safety and agency work... So I was both SO WORRIED about doing things against my will or losing control, AND SO WORRIED about it not working on me, that i was unhypnotizable and couldn't do the thing. I can’t realllly blame him, he was as new as I was, but it was… not a great situation.

The thing I CAN blame him for was when I was said “I don’t want any triggers” and he was like “aww come on a reinduction trigger would make it so much easier” and kept wheedling me about it. Not a good look.

(OFC part of the reason he really wanted a reinduction trigger was because he (like me, at the time) only knew how to do 10-minute progressive relaxation inductions, lolsob.)

And I think both times we got together I was like “Dude I’m a lesbian, I'm here for kink practice and I don’t want to kiss or get physical with you” and then at the end he’d be like “Waah I want to kiss you!!”

Against my better judgement I went along with it cuz like, we’d just been doing hours of kinky shit and I was turned on, but like. Surprise surprise, I'm a lesbian. (Also he... wasn’t all that good a kisser. Shocker, that.)

The kicker is, after the second time this happens, he texts me to say “So i just found out i have mono” like SIR I DID NOT EVEN WANT TO BE KISSING YOU AND NOW YOU HAVE MAYBE GIVEN ME MONO???

He did NOT give me mono, turned out I already had antibodies, and I didn’t ever play with him or see him again, so it’s mostly a happy ending but like… bruh.

But on a more serious note, I... still carry some of that baggage with me. (Though obvi this is nothing compared to many people's genuinely traumatic or abusive first hypno/kink experiences and i don't wanna take away from that!)

Never having gotten a real pretalk, going into my first trance experiences so scared (in both directions), feeling like a """bad subject""" (b/c he wasn't great at dropping me AND b/c I didn't feel comfy with him)... has really stuck with me, unfortch.

I am still unlearning that stuff, and so thankful to all the FAR, FAR SUPERIOR hypnotists who have helped me in this journey. It's also why I'm waging a holy war against people who use the term "bad subject" or don't give proper pretalks.

No one should feel uncomfortable when exploring this kink! (Or like, as non-uncomfortable as possible.) I hope it's a joyous thing for as many folks as possible! And that's why I have SO many thoughts about pretalk and framing for new subjects (see e.g. my class notes on Setting Your Subjects Up for Success).

So ummmm uhh thanks for coming to my TED talk, treat your partners right and don't try to kiss people who've explicitly told you not to kiss them, there are more kinds of inductions than just progressive relaxation, stay hydrated! <3

🦈 FIN 🦈

[green-like-the-sky]

hello! i hate to seem impatient, but did you receive my ask about your time travel au tomtom headcanons? i'm worried that tumblr might've eaten it. thanks! ^^

BESTIE I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY tumblr didn't eat it i just forgor

ok, tomtom time travel headcanons! this is long and rambling sorry

full disclosure i started tinkering with a time travel au for them right after i read The Mirror and the Light, so back in 2020(!). Since I got back into Wolf Hall recently, I decided to pick it up again. I don't want to give away all the plot points so some spoilers are under the cut!

they come through to modern London just before More's trial (opening scene of the fic posted here!). The Tower is a crossing point in my mind, so much has taken place there and so many lives have been lost that the temporal walls are thin. Other people from their time have crossed through too. Perhaps they meet up with them in the future... (they 100% do)

Cromwell is convinced modern London is not real, he's just hallucinating or having a fever relapse and it takes him a few days to come to terms with the fact that yes, they're really 500 years in the future. The things that have stayed the same (more or less) convince him. The Thames. The trees on Putney Heath. More being insufferable now as he was then.

More actually accepts the time travel pretty quickly but he pretends not to because he knows that will annoy Cromwell.

they are told by their host (spoilers!) not to google themselves, because they can't know their historical fates in case they ever get transported back to 1500s (nobody knows how the time travel works, or if it will happen again)

(the internet, generally, is astounding and More immediately wants to know what became of Erasmus and who the Pope is now)

Later they both confess to googling themselves anyway. Not to know what their own fates were, but what became of Gregory and Meg. Bonding moment!

After they have acclimatised for a couple of days they are let out to explore London on their own. They get lost on the tube. They go to a coffee shop and don't know how to order so end up just ordering what the people in line ahead of them got (iced mocha with whipped cream nearly kills More)

Cromwell wonders what he could have achieved in Henry's court, with internet access.

Cromwell also wonders what he could have achieved in Henry's court, caffeinated.

They contemplate starting a podcast (thankfully they are talked out of this)

Eventually Cromwell realises the insufferableness of More is not actually insufferable. Sudden overwhelming realisation that perhaps the reason he tried so hard to make him take the oath was that back then he was in love with him. More: didn't you know?

They hook up.

The fic ends with them having been in the future for four years and counting. They're both perfectly happy. More is a university lecturer (his knowledge of european reformation literature is astounding, his colleagues think!). Cromwell has been dabbling in law again. They've got a nice place with a little garden, plenty of room for More's animals (Cromwell makes fun but he does have a black cat of his own)...

ANNE is the only other person from their time period who also came through the doorway in the Tower. It happened just before her own execution so she is slightly ahead of them, in Tudor-timeline. She also has been in the future for 20 years, she's thoroughly established, she fits neatly in to modern London, she has a great job, she's divorced with a grown up daughter.

(her grown up daughter is the person who finds the Toms in the Tower, believes who they say they are and takes them back to Anne's flat the first night).

Anne slaps Cromwell when she first meets them in modern times. She ignores More.

Anne is annoyed they are there, but knows how they're feeling and what they need to do to survive in the 2020s. It's also nice to see familiar faces, even if it is them

They end up all going to a karaoke bar and get drunk, and, well, 500 years is a long time to hold a grudge.

The Toms' girldad instincts kick in around Anne's daughter. She's in the first year of her undergrad and More can't resist helping with essays. Cromwell bonds with her over the weirdness of them both being separated from family by half a millenium (she's desperate to know about her 'big' sister, Elizabeth I!)

I have rambled on a lot here sorry but that's a general overview! if you want to know anything else please do ask!!

[a-babe-without-a-name]

Sister Lovers, Water Brothers

Chapter Eight : Love, Get Away Driving, and The End of the World (part 1)

Masterlist

A.N. This chapter is too long to post as one post on tumblr, part 2 is linked at the end.

Steve wasn’t happy with the way Munson was treating one of his kids. So unhappy in fact, that he forces himself into their club leader’s van to see what he’s getting up to with Chrissy Cunningham, and maybe it’s a good thing he’s so paranoid because it might just save her life.

Or, the one where Chrissy doesn’t die in the Munson trailer, and, despite the world-ending, the king(former) and queen(current) of Hawkins High cannot take their eyes off Eddie Munson

Read on AO3

Nancy tumbled out the other side of the gate and stood, dusting herself off and plucking leaves and sticks out of her hair as the rest looked on. They could all agree that gravity flipping around you was an odd feeling, but Eddie and Robin seemed to find it more entertaining than anything. 

On the normal Hawkins side, there was a white hazmat tent put up around the gate, and caution tape blocking off a large area in front of the Munson trailer. Thankful for a bit of cover, they all waited back a second for Steve to come through, but then that second passed...and another.

Robin had never given anything the benefit of the doubt, and she wasn't going to start now on the off chance that Steve had gotten himself into trouble in the few seconds he'd been left alone. She fell back to her knees next to the gate, Eddie close behind her, and looked through to see Steve standing there, hanging off the ground perfectly still. Too Still.

"Steve?" she called, terrified but trying to play it down in case it was nothing.

He didn't respond. His breathing came out uneven and shaky.

"Steve!" She called again, moving to throw herself back through the gate, but Eddie stopped her.

"We don't- it could be the gate," he said, eyes glued to Steve. If he ever saw someone trapped in their own head again it would be too soon.

"You want me to do nothing then?" Robin asked, letting out a panicked laugh.

"No!" Eddie said, explanation caught in his throat as Nancy asked,

"What's going on?"

"He's cursed," Robin said under her breath, but everyone heard.

"Steve?" Dustin asked. He shoved past Lucas and Chrissy, trying to block him from getting to Steve, only to be stopped by Eddie. He pulled the kid close against his chest and spun him so they were facing the trailer. Henderson didn't need to see that, feeling that hopelessness Eddie was drowning again. "Let me go!" Dustin demanded, struggling in Eddie's hold but not getting anywhere.

"Kid, Kid!" Eddie tried to get him to listen, "We need music right? My room, you know where my tapes are." Dustin stopped fighting him and nodded. Without another word, Dustin was unzipping the plastic wall of the tent and running off to the trailer. Eddie turned back to the other kids,

"Don't let him see Steve." Nancy and Chrissy nodded, but Robin was frozen watching Steve and shaking, failing to breathe evenly herself, "Woah, Buckley- Robin," Eddie pulled her back, forcing her to look away, "I'll go back through, I got him okay?" Robin shook her head, not willing to leave Steve even as panic set in. 

"No, I- I can't. He-" she cut herself off trying to turn back to the gate.

"Yes," Eddie said, with no room for argument, "I need you to watch Chrissy okay? I'm going to get him through." Robin kept shaking her head, unwilling to put Steve's fate in anyone else's hands, but Chrissy was already pulling her further back, as Eddie slipped through the gate.

The trip through was considerably less fun when re-entering hell as opposed to escaping, but Eddie felt better knowing Steve wasn't alone, even if it meant putting himself in danger.

"Steve, can you hear me?” He asked helplessly, shaking Steve by the shoulders. 

Again, he gave no reaction, so Eddie quickly moved on to plan B- pushing Steve back through the gate. Putting all his weight behind one shoulder, Eddie acted out his best impression of a football tackle, but he couldn't get Steve to budge. It wasn’t even like Steve was fighting against him, more like trying to push a brick wall.

"Stevie, come on," Eddie tried to reason with the unconscious man to no avail.

Thankfully, Dustin was back with a Walkman in hand and a shoe box full of tapes. Robin ripped it from his arms and began digging through tapes looking almost crazed. Chrissy watched over her, a cautious hand on her shoulder offering the only comfort she could. Then, after a moment, she realized that she recognized none of the album names or even the bands on the cases.

"What is this?" she asked Dustin, as close to angry as she could look, "We need music, Madonna, Blondie, Bowie, Beatles, Music! We need music!"

"It is music!" Eddie screamed down at the gate, then grunted as he tried to shove Steve again. With a frustrated shout, Robin continued to sift through the tapes, despite having checked them all twice already. Dustin was shaking in Nancy’s arms as she held him away from the gate, and she easily took the Walkman from his hands, tossing it through to Eddie.

It shot up, by his feet only to drop back down when gravity flipped on it. He stooped to catch it, at the same moment that Steve fell across his lap, sending them both sprawling to the ground.

Steve's eyes snapped open, and he pulled in deep breaths and sank heavily against Eddie. Confused by his surroundings he looked around, disappointed to see the dark red sky of Vecna's layer glowing down on him. Eventually, he realized someone else was there, holding him up. 

Fingers tightening in the sleeves of Eddie jacket, he looked up at him, eyes filled with tears.

"Eddie?" He asked, confused. He didn't know if this was another trick.

"I got you," Eddie answered, pulling him closer. "You're okay." 

Shakily, they both made their way through the gate even as Steve refused to let go of Eddie. 

Once safely, seated on the other side, Robin threw herself into Steve's lap, curling around him as she began to sob. Dustin was right beside her, cramming his way in so Steve could get an arm out each of them, with Eddie's arm trapped in the middle of it all.

"We need to move," Nancy piped up, feeling she had waited as long as she could. Eddie shot her a withering glare, but it didn't phase her. "No one can see us, but we’ve definitely been heard by now," She warned him, and he seceded. Reluctantly everyone helped each other up and Max led them over to her house. She waved them all through the door, before locking it behind them.

"What did you see? Is it- was it-" Max tried to ask Steve, as Robin settled him on the couch. The kids converged around him, going so far as to reach out and touch him, to make sure he was there.

"It was Vecna," He said, shutting his eyes, either blocking out the memory or trying to focus on the details. "But, his name, it's Henry."

"Creel's son?" Nancy asked, shocked. Steve nodded and kept talking,

"He showed me... everything. He was the first of them, One. After he killed his family with his powers Brenner got him and tried to make others like him."

"Like Eleven," Dustin filled in.

"But he... he's evil," Steve bit, knuckles going white where he gripped Robin's arm. She winced but didn't try to stop him. "He wants to bring the upside down here; he wants to kill every one. he showed me-"

"Steve," Eddie cut him off flatly, "You're going to hurt her." Steve looked up at him perplexed, but when Eddie nodded toward Robin's arm and he took in just how tightly he'd been holding her arm Steve practically shoved her away.

"Shit, sorry, I'm sorry," he told her, curling in on himself but she assured him she was alright. He seemed to come back into himself then, as he looked at Robin, instinctually checking in on all the kids, but refused to meet Eddie’s eye. He wouldn’t even look at him.

"Why don't we take a second to cool off?" Chrissy suggested, looking over the assembled group. The kids were beyond scared and even Nancy looked shaken. 

They were terrified at seeing Steve this way. He had never just been their babysitter; he was their chauffeur and their piggy bank for sure, but he was also their biggest supporter and their only true protector. Time and time again he had shown up to put himself between them and whatever new monster was after them. Sure, he'd been beaten and bruised before, but that never stopped him from putting on a brave face and keeping them safe. Especially now that Hopper was dead, and Joyce was all the way across the country and unavailable, Steve was the one they turned to when this shit came up again, and it was Steve that they knew could stop it from hurting them. Except this time he couldn't. Everyone was realizing that as they huddled together in Max's living room.

There wasn't a hit Steve wouldn't take for them, there was no monster gruesome enough to get him to run the other way, but Henry had just shown them all that Steve was useless against him. Their fight had just become a little more hopeless.

"Henderson, Mayfield, why don't you let him breathe?" Eddie followed up to Chrissy’s suggestion, but Steve wouldn't hear it.

"No!" He cried, pulling them back towards himself., "You’re not taking them, again!”

"Okay, sorry-" Eddie said, already backing up, but Steve was glaring at him now.

“I don’t care what you think,” he said bitterly, and Eddie was thoroughly confused as to what he was talking about. “You can’t-”

“Hey,” Robin said, cutting him off with a gentle hand on his arm as she glanced between the two men, “Stevie, nobody is taking them.”

“Robin,” he breathed, looking at her like the sun shining on his face for the first time, “it’s- you’re here?”

“Yeah, Stevie,” She assured, trying to hide the confusion in her voice, “where else would I be?”

Ignoring Robin’s question, he told her direly, “He’s coming, Vecna. He knows we're after him, and the kids- El- none of them are safe.”

“Steve,” Robin tried to calm him down, “Steve it’s okay.”

“No, because he’s almost ready, and he’s going to-”

“Steve,” Robin finally cut him off completely, then turned to Chrissy, “I need to get him out of here.”

“He can go back to my trailer?” Eddie offered, only loud enough for Chrissy to hear, not wanting to upset Steve again.

“We can go over to Eddie’s,” she told Robin, “The kids can stay here with you, Nancy, if you don’t mind making sure they’re safe?” 

Nancy opened her mouth to answer or argue but didn’t get the chance before Robin agreed and dragged Steve back outside, away from his gaggle of children. He let Robin pull him away, even as he looked back at them.

The four of them snuck back across the dark street, their steps feeling deafeningly loud as they crunched across the gravel, but it was late enough that no one seemed to notice.

Once inside Steve and Robin settled on Wayne’s cot in the living room, while Chrissy and Eddie hung back in the kitchen listening on. Steve continued to ramble about Vecna taking the kids away, and knowing something he didn’t want anyone else to, but Robin’s steady assurances slowly and surely calmed him down.

“It was horrible,” he admitted to her, voice breaking, “he showed me you, the kids all…killed like the others were, and he told me it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t.”

“But what if it is?” he insisted, “What if he’s right? What if I’m not strong enough, if I’m just a-”

“Steven, don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Robin warned, and Steve let out a long sigh like he knew better already, but was testing her for some reason. “You’ve had a long night, hell a long day too. Why don’t we see if you can use Eddie’s shower, maybe change out of his vest while we’re at it?”

“Sure,” he agreed hesitantly, before telling her, “He looked like him. Vecna, like Eddie, I mean.”

“But it wasn’t him,” Robin told him, earning another weary sigh from her friend. “Let’s get you clean, yeah?”

Eddie managed to scrounge up some towels and bandages for them all and they unanimously decided Steve should have the first turn in the shower. He accepted gratefully but  denied Robin's offer to help him clean off the bat bites. Everyone there could tell she really wanted nothing to do with them, but was doing her best friend duty and at least offering.

When he came out of the shower, only looking more exhausted as Robin swapped places with him, Chrissy offered him a pile of Eddie’s clothes. The man in question had disappeared into his room, sensing Steve's hesitation towards him.

“He did the same thing to me, you know?” Chrissy said, lingering next to where Steve sat on the cot, unsure of whether to sit. “Pretended to be Eddie, but… you were the one that reminded me it wasn’t actually him, ya know?”

Steve looked up at her, unable to speak.

He did know what Chrissy had seen, but now he understood why she had reacted how she had. Vecna didn’t just scare him, no, the fear he inflicted was precise and calculated. It wasn’t just the bodies of his closest friends, mangled and gory, but it was the fact that he knew, like one knows in a dream, that it was his fault. Yet there he was watching, knowing he was the one who had failed.

Then, Eddie had stepped out of the shadows, cursing Steve for all he was worth. Reminding him of every sin he’d committed as King Steve and tacking on his current insecurities just for good measure.

Eddie’s usually warm, soft eyes had looked murderous.

“And he cares about you too,” Chrissy told Steve, pulling him back out of his head.  “It doesn’t seem like he wants to admit it, probably has something to do with his whole rebelling against the man persona, but you aren’t really the man are you?” She asked knowingly. All Steve could do was shrug. He wished she had let him get dressed before having this conversation. He was cold. His mind was still reeling.

“He’s figuring that out, too,” She finished, then left him with his stack of Eddie’s clothes to get dressed.

With Chrissy in the shower, and Robin still in the bathroom getting dressed, Steve mustered enough courage, or something like it, to tap on Eddie’s door. It was already mostly open, and Steve could see Eddie sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, fingers digging into his hair.

“Come in?” he called, eyes snapping up only to be surprised when Steve pushed his way in. Standing to greet him he asked,

“Did you need something?” he asked, genuinely, “the clothes fit alright?” 

Looking over Steve, he could confirm the clothes did fit all right. The sweatpants were fine and hung loose where they were tied around Steve's waist, and the shirt might have been a bit small but anyone who knew of Steve Harrington knew he didn’t mind showing off a little.

“Yeah,” Steve said, forgetting why he came in here, “yeah, thank you… and…sorry I guess? I just mean, I wasn’t mad at you earlier, I was just panicking a bit.” 

Steve really didn’t want to explain the words Vecna had put in his mouth, Steve didn’t think they were worth repeating, even as they echoed in his head:

You were never going to be enough to save them.

Look at them, Look at them, Look at them.

Maybe if you’d been less worried about me, they would be alive.

Now, look at what I’ve done.

“Hey, no worries man,” Eddie said instead, kindly, nervously. “I was also freaking out…a lot, if we’re being honest.”

“Oh.” The lingering memory of the way Vecna-Eddie had thrown his head back and laughed faded in the face of the real thing.

“Yeah, oh,” Eddie laughed dryly, moving to pick something up off the many messy surfaces in his room. Rolling the trinket between his hands he continued, “You were cursed and all I could think was I didn’t know your favorite song. It felt like we had the solution, a magic spell to save you and yet… no dice,” he laughed again wetly, holding up the plastic thing that Steve didn’t think looked anything like a die.

“So what is it?” Eddie asked, after a beat of silence.

“What is what?”

“You’re favorite song,” he clarified, letting the die clatter back onto the desk and stepping into his space like he had been all day. He couldn’t help himself. Up close Eddie could see the blush reach Steve’s ears. 

“You know that movie Pretty in Pink? “ Steve asked, fiddling with the hem of his- Eddie’s- shirt. “It came out a couple months ago… Robin got me the soundtrack on tape, and…”

“Steve quit stalling,” Eddie teased, “it can’t be that bad.”

“It’s… a Smith's song? From the movie, the please, please-”

“Harrington,” Eddie beamed up at him and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him excitedly, “You’re telling me you’re into emotional, poetic, British shit? This is the best day of my life.”

“Oh, shove it, Munson,” Steve rolled his eyes, batting Eddie’s hands away, “what’s your favorite song then? Something loud and scary? By that Ozzy guy?”

Eddie tried to hold back his embarrassed smile, but couldn’t. Turning away from Steve he crossed his arms over his chest, suddenly very interested in the details of his own room.

“You can’t laugh.”

“You laughed at me!” Steve scoffed, but gave in, “Fine, fine, just tell me.”

“It’s one my mom used to play for me,” he said, shooting a glance back over at Steve. It was playful, but Steve could feel the significance of it. “And it was the first song I taught myself to play.” He let one of his hands fall down to strum the untuned strings of the acoustic guitar sitting in the corner and cringed at the unpleasant sound.

“It’s called Hung Up on a Dream? By the Zombies?” Eddie said. Steve shook his head. He’d never heard it before, and he really wished the world wasn’t ending so he could go buy a Zombie tape and listen to both sides, maybe on repeat. “That’s alright,” Eddie shrugged.

“You’ll have to play it for me sometime,” Steve smiled shyly, looking over at Eddie’s guitar and tilting his head to read the words, mouthing ‘this machine slays dragons’ with an adorable furrow in his brow.

Before Eddie could explain, Chrissy was calling down the hall to let him know the shower was free, and Steve was scurrying back to Robin now that she was dressed.

*

When Eddie got out of the shower, Steve and Robin were already passed out on Wayne’s bed in the living room. He didn’t blame them, it had been a particularly exhausting day. Especially for Steve, who really did end up taking the brunt of the physical and emotional trauma. Eddie turned off the kitchen light and hoped that whatever few hours of sleep they could get would help them get through the rest of this. 

He found Chrissy in his room where he had left her to change fifteen minutes ago. She was wearing his clothes - an old Judas Priest t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts from school he’d worn maybe twice - and sitting on his bed reading one of his magazines. He hated how much he liked this. Her, Chrissy fucking Cunningham, in his bed wearing his clothes. 

“Whatcha got there?” He asked, shutting the door behind him and absentmindedly hoping she hadn’t picked up a nastier issue of Heavy Metal.

She glanced up at him in the doorway as she closed the magazine to read the cover. Immediately doing a double take of him and then quickly casting her eyes away from Eddie and to the floor next to his bed. Her half-dry hair fell in her face as her cheeks began to burn.

It wasn’t until that moment that Eddie remembered that he wasn’t actually dressed yet, and instead had just walked in wearing nothing but a towel around his hips. 

“Oh, fuck,” He said, feeling like an idiot, “I’m sorry, I should have-” 

“No, no, it’s okay,” Chrissy insisted, making a - poor - effort to not stare at him as she stood up, “I’ll just go out-”

“They're asleep already,” Eddie said, talking over her in embarrassed panic.

“Oh, um, okay, no problem.” She sat back down on his bed, facing the headboard and very pointedly not looking in his direction, “Here, is this okay?”

“Yeah, uh, thanks.” Eddie mimed a frustrated scream. The most beautiful girl in the whole fucking world was in his bed and he made it fucking weird.

“It’s your Metal Forces magazine, by the way.” Chrissy said, still facing away, “It’s actually really cool.”

“I’m glad you think so,” He dug around in his dresser for clothes to sleep in without holes. He usually slept in just his boxers, but that felt inappropriate given his roommate for the night.

Chrissy nodded, “There’s a really interesting article about this band called SHE, it’s all girls. I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Oh yeah, I remember reading that one.” Eddie said, pulling on his clothes, “I tried to find some of their music, but I don’t think it’s been released here, yet.”

“Awe,” he could hear the pout in Chrissy’s voice, “That sucks, they seem cool.”

“Yeah, you’d probably like Girlschool if you wanna listen to girl rock bands,” Eddie offered, sitting on the edge of the bed, “I don’t have any of their tapes, but I know where we can get one.”

Chrissy tried to not think about him saying ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ as she turned around on his bed to face him. He was stiffly sitting on the edge of his bed, only slightly angled towards her. An awkward moment of silence fell between them.

“I’m gonna be honest,” Eddie said after another few seconds of horrible quiet, “I’d kill for a smoke right now.”

“Hm, maybe not the best phrasing given your current ‘wanted’ status,” Chrissy laughed, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her chin on her knees, “But, I would also kill for a cigarette.”

“I feel a little guilty,” Eddie stood up and walked to the other side of his bed, “letting you smoke.”

He opened up his bedside drawer, only enough to snatch out the pack and lighter he kept there without Chrissy seeing whatever other things he’d shoved in there over the years. He sat down on his bed and pulled his legs up, sitting with his back against the wall. 

“Let me?” Chrissy scoffed, moving closer and mirroring the way he was sitting. She watched as he lit the cigarette, eye’s lingering on his lips as he took the first drag.

“You’re right, you’re right,” Eddie placated, letting the smoke fall out the side of his mouth before taking another drag and passing it to Chrissy, “You are your own woman, you can have a nicotine addiction on your own.”

“You got that right,” She bumped his shoulder with hers, smiling up at him as she took the cigarette.

Eddie watched her take a small drag, wincing at the heat. He wished he had been bold enough to shotgun the smoke for her that first night, but now it would seem unnecessary. He fixated on her lips, finding himself obsessed with the shape of her cupid's bow and the way her cheeks hollowed out as she breathed in the cigarette. Trying to get his mind off of Chrissy’s mouth, Eddie ripped his eyes away from her, deciding instead to look around his room like he’d never seen it before. 

His eyes caught on his acoustic guitar in the corner of his room. He couldn’t help thinking about the way Steve read the words Eddie had formed in white tape on its body. It was cute, the tilt of Steve’s head as he followed the lines, the way his mouth silently formed around the words. The image of him in Eddie’s too tight t-shirt was permanently in his brain. 

“Eds?” Chrissy asked, for the third time Eddie realized, tapping his leg and offering him back the cigarette, “Are you okay?”

The sudden anxiety in her voice was clear, “Yeah, sorry,” Eddie shook his head, taking the cigarette back and putting it between his teeth, “Sorry.”

He suddenly felt sick with guilt. Here he was, a gorgeous girl that he’d had a mind-numbing crush on for years in his bed, and he was thinking about a straight man in a tight shirt. The worst part was the fact that this sudden thought of Steve in no way weakened the feelings he had for Chrissy.

He wanted to scream. Or kiss someone. Preferably one of the Hawkins High Royalty he was currently housing. Maybe both.

“Eddie, are you okay?” Chrissy asked sternly, jolting him out of his thoughts. He was making her nervous. He should have known better than to go nonverbal considering what she was going through.

“Yeah, god, I’m so sorry.” Eddie said, bringing his legs up to sit crisscross and face her, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

When he realized the cigarette in his hand was in danger of ashing all over his bed, Eddie tapped it into the ashtray, trying not to look at the d20 sitting next to it.

“It’s okay, it’s just…” Chrissy paused, taking back the cigarette, “Yeah, you scared me a little.”

“I know, Chris, fuck,” Eddie signed rubbing his face, he needed to shave. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, really, it’s okay.” Chrissy assured him, copying his movements and sitting crisscross across from him. She leaned past him and put out the barely smoked cigarette, grabbing his hands from his lap on her way back, “I’m fine, are you?”

“Yeah,” He stared down at their hands, and then very awkwardly asked, “Can…can I kiss you?”

“What?” Chrissy asked instinctually, just a little taken off guard.

“Never mind, I’m sorry,” Eddie panicked, leaning away.

“No wait,” Chrissy grabbed him by the shirt sleeve, keeping him from getting too far away, “I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect you to ask.”

“Well, it felt a little inappropriate to just go for it,” Eddie admitted, unfortunately aware of how hot his face was, he swallowed hard, looking away from her.

“Well, it’s very considerate of you to ask,” She leaned into him, close enough that he could smell the shared cigarette on her breath when she laughed.

“I’m not an animal,” he leaned in closer to her, “Despite what everyone in Hawkins thinks.”

Chrissy just hummed in acknowledgment as she closed the distance and pressed her lips to his. Lightly at first, the way he had thought about kissing her in middle school, but they weren't in middle school anymore. Eddie pressed harder against her, reaching out for her waist, as her mouth fell open. She tasted like toothpaste and tobacco and cherry, but Eddie thought he might be imagining that last one. He pulled her into his lap, her legs uncrossing to rest over his thighs. She moved her hands up from their place on his arms, one hand resting against the side of his face and the other fisted in the back of his shirt. He had to pull away, gasping for breath and leaning his forehead against hers.

“So, that’s a yes, I’m assuming.” He laughed, pressing a light kiss to her parted lips.

“Dummy,” She chided, kissing his cheek, then his jaw, then the side of his neck. 

Eddie hummed, tipping his head back as she kissed him. The feeling of her lips against his skin made his mind go fuzzing.

“Fuck,” he breathed out as her teeth grazed his skin, half convinced this was a dream.

She leaned back in, their lips only meeting again for a moment before he pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, worried as he moved away from her to stand up.

“Nothing! Just one- one sec,” He went to his desk and transferred the Queen tape from the Walkman Chrissy had been using to the radio, pressing play and setting the volume low, “There, Vecna free zone.”

“What would I do without you,” Chrissy joked, “I’m glad you’re so smart.”

“Actually,” Eddie said, sitting back down on his bed and pulling Chrissy into his lap, “Right now I’m probably the dumbest I’ve ever been.”

“I’m flattered,” Chrissy let him hold her, smiling widely up at him as he bent down to press a kiss to her neck. She opened her mouth to say something else, but a yawn cut her off.

“We should sleep,” Eddie said, glancing up at the clock by his bed and seeing that it was nearly 3 in the morning.

“Boo,” Chrissy pouted up at him. She looked so pretty, her blond hair falling behind her, splayed out over his bed, her blue eyes so bright and her lips just slightly swollen from kissing him. Kissing him. He wanted to put his head through a wall. 

“Don’t boo me,” He scoffed, brushing her bangs away, “We barely slept yesterday, you're gonna fall asleep on your feet if you don’t get some actual sleep.”

“Hm, fine.” She reached up, resting her hand against his face and just looking at him, “You’re lucky you’re pretty, Munson, just can’t say no to you.”

“In that case,” Eddie pulled her closer and pressed another kiss to her lips, “can I ask you something I’ve never asked anyone ever?”

She tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear, nodding up at him.

“Would you go out with me?” He asked, and then clarified, “Like on a …date? Properly.”

She sat up, leaning against his knee, “You’ve never asked anyone out before?”

“What happened to never making fun of me,” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’m not making fun of you!” She gasped, shoving him gently, “I’m just surprised.”

“I’ve never really cared about…dating.” The word felt weird in his mouth, “It didn’t seem worth it, before.”

“It seems worth it now?” She asked, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

“A little bit, yeah.” He under-exaggerated, kissing the corner of her mouth just before she yawned again, triggering him to yawn as well, “All right, that’s it,”

He gently moved her away from him and stood up, reaching his lamp in the corner. When Chrissy didn’t move, he nodded at his bed, “What happened to I’m too pretty to say no to, huh? Go on.”

Chrissy groaned dramatically, but climbed under the blankets on his bed. Eddie turned off the light, and carefully made his way back to the bed. In the dark he could feel Chrissy reach out for him. He gratefully laid against her, resting his head in the crook of her neck and breathing her in. She smelled faintly of cigarettes and his soap. 

“I’d love to, by the way.” Chrissy said into the dark, moving her hand across his back, her nails gently scratching at the base of his neck

“Hmm?” He asked wordlessly, moving his hand under her borrowed shirt, resting it on her hip, his skin hot against hers.

“You asked me out,” She clarified, “I’m saying yes.”

Eddie hoped she couldn't feel the embarrassingly large smile he couldn’t hold back and tried to play it cool in the dark, laughing as he said, “Imagine if you had said no.”

“That’d be so fucked up.” She gasped, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Just a little,” He yawned, the exhaustion fully catching up to him. He could feel Chrissy starting to fall asleep, too. He wished he could stay here forever. Safe in the dark with her.

Continue Reading to Part 2

[vintage-bentley]

that spockgirl post is weird. "the exact moment terry pratchett found out about homosexuality"

a) his generation had a better grasp of what a homosexual was than people do today

b) "they got a cottage together on the south downs" is the most terry pratchett happy ending for a ship you've ever heard of. this part of the conversation was not coming out of neil gaiman's mouth, i assure you. all you have to do is read both their work and it's blindingly obvious. NEIL would have been the one surprised to hear about the south downs, and terry the one who suggested it.

i don't know what's more annoying to me: the assumption that because terry was older he must have been the clueless one who needed to be educated about the existence of The Gays . . . or the idea that neil was the one to bring ineffable homosexuality to the table, when we have literally watched this man's multi-decade journey towards acceptance unfold in real time, right to the glorious era of revisionist neilstory we live in now.

an era i'm grateful for, don't get me wrong. but please. terry was the one slipping a discreet gay love story past the audience (and his co-author, apparently), content to let it speak for itself, and neil was the one shocked to learn people were reading into what he considered a perfectly normal bit of 90's no homo humour. the intended sequel was probably no more overtly gay than good omens itself, with the romance more implied, through little things the homophobes could pretend had another meaning instead. the idea that neil planned to have the exact same love story (kissing and all!) that we're watching onscreen in the 2020s play out in a novel of the mid nineties, is just . . . so unlikely. it kills me that so much of the modern tumblr fandom doesn't understand this, and takes neil at his word on this revisionist history.

i think neil has genuinely come around on the idea of the ineffable husbands as a romantic pairing, and i appreciate that. but i wish he didn't feel the need to lie about this evolution, and i wish the new generation of fans would stop their uncritical kissing of his arse. it's awkward for everyone

The post

—

I completely get what you’re saying, but I also feel like it’s not really That Deep? I just saw it as a mildly funny post making fun of straight men discussing making their self insert characters gay and in love.

But I agree that it’s more likely that it was Terry who suggested the South Downs Cottage, not Neil “slash makes me uncomfortable” Straightman. It is interesting that everyone defaults to assuming Neil’s the one who brought the romance to the table, because of how much they idolise him and ignore his past of ineffable husbands denialism.

I think that post in particular is a lighthearted joke and isn’t actually trying to imply that Neil introduced Terry to the wondrous world of homosexuality…but you’re still absolutely right regarding the fandom in general. I’m really tired of the Neil worship.