#i don't know it's kind of beautiful in this bittersweet way

[thatmexisaurusrex]

I might have missed something, but everyone had their families at that ceremony - Buck and Chimney had Maddie there for them; Hen had Karen, Denny, and Mara; Eddie had Marisol and Christopher; Bobby had Athena there. But Tommy? He had no other people there for him. No one other than the people who were already going to be there. And I think that says something about what Tommy's life has been like since he left the 118, or what it's been like always for him. And it says a lot about how much his life is like now as well. How he is opening up to these people from his past as well as Buck and, in a way, becoming part of the 118 again. He now has a boyfriend and friends who he received metals of honor with. And there's a sadness in the emptiness of whatever plus-ones he didn't have. But you can see him finding family right there too. And there's a bittersweet beauty to that.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Gojo's and (y/n)'s daughter buying a prom dress for her because she never had one

Pairing: husband!Gojo x reader; daughter x reader

Word Count: 1,5k

Synopsis: When you told your little one about the fact that you never got to wear a prom dress, it was clear for your husband and daughter they needed to change that for your birthday.

Warnings: fluff overload, Gojo and daughter are sweetheart, obviously reader wasn't able to afford a prom dress back then so if you get triggered by a rough past don't read, tell me what you thiiiink 🤍

„I can’t wait to wear one of them!“

You follow the tiny index finger of your 4 year old daughter, darting directly into the store window you already stopped by countless times. Gently you rub her head, get lost in the eyes that remind you so much of your loving husband.

“Which one do you like best, huh?”

“What a hard question…”, she mutters, eyes fixated on the countless dresses displayed.

It is indeed. Would you rather wear the tight black dress with a breathtakingly beautiful back? Or what about that princess dress in the front with the glittery sleeves? Oh, how much you’d love to just get in there and try all of them on, feel like a princess once again. While you did get the chance to wear something beautiful on your wedding day, you were never able to do so as a teen by actually wearing a prom dress.

“Did your prom dress look like one of these?”

You can’t supress the silent sting in your heart and bittersweet smile creeping up your face.

“I never had a prom dress, honey”, you explain gently.

The face of your daughter drops immediately, brain visibly running hot by the sheer thought of you not having a prom dress.

Despite your good financial situation now that you’ve worked hard for, you weren’t that lucky when you were young. A prom dress is expensive, a luxury not everyone is able to afford. And that everyone was your family.

“But why?”, your daughter cries out.

You kneel down to meet her eye to eye, fighting for your composure. It might be silly, but you always longed to wear a beautiful dress to a ball, to feel like a princess for a night. When apart from your prom and wedding do you even have an excuse for something like that? You missed that chance, it shouldn’t bother you-

But it kind of does.

“You know, when I grew up, my parents didn’t have as much many as your daddy and I have now. A prom dress is really expensive and not as important as paying rent and something to eat.”

“But weren’t you sad?”

“I was. And it still makes me sad”, you admit.

“But it’s okay not to get everything you want, it’s okay to cut back. And it heals me to know that I’ll buy my little princess the prettiest prom dress ever.”

With a swift motion, you pull her body closer to yours and rub your nose against hers the way it always makes her giggle.

Yes, after all, you have a family now. And that is worth way more than a prom dress.

-Later that evening-

“Okay young lady, time to go to bed”, Satoru announces playfully after giving you a kiss on the cheek, lifting his child up with ease to carry her into her room followed by heartfelt laughter.

“Daddy, I need to talk to you in secret.”

Satoru tilts his head to the side, the sudden seriousness in his daughters’ eyes being so unknown to him.

“Got ya.”

With dramatically silent steps he closes the door behind him and returns to his daughters’ bed, raising his eyebrows to show her he’s listening.

“Mommy and I walked past a shop today and she told me she never wore a prom dress!”

“Oh, really? She didn’t even tell me about that”, Satoru replies with the same outrage in his voice.

“And she looked…sad. So I thought I could buy Mommy a prom dress for her birthday to make her feel better.”

It takes all of his strength to not melt away in an instant. What a little angel is daughter is, how sweet of her to even consider something like this even though she’s only 4 years old. Oh, how much he’d love to see you in a gorgeous gown as well, maybe even take it off after your birthday...

“What a great idea kiddo! Okay, let’s make a plan. How should we call it?”

“Operation enchanting elegance!”

“Okay, well…I wanted to say operation prom dress but that sounds better I guess”, Satoru replies.

“Hear me out: Tomorrow when Mommy’s at work, we’ll sneak into that shop and you’ll pick the dress for her.”

“Deal!”

-your birthday-

“Mommy, Mommy! You need to wake up, it’s your birthday.”

“She’s right, you have to wake up babe”, the oh so familiar voice of Satoru purrs against your ear.

So you really have no chance, huh? Slowly your lids flutter open, a bright smile already plastered on your face.

And get greeted by your daughter and husband dressed in matching unicorn jumpsuits, holding the tackiest cake in their hands you’ve ever seen. Oh god.

“You guys…”, you giggle out, on the brink of losing your composure completely.

You definitely do when both of them begin to sing a very wrong sounding happy birthday. How is it even possible that your very own child heals your inner one? Those outrageous birthday parties, the endless affection you never knew. Warmth radiates from your heart all over your body, your glossy orbs catching the gaze of your already staring husband.

It’s because of him. The man who came into your life so unexpectedly, the man who swept you off your feet before you even knew how powerful he is. Satoru is your best friend, your partner in crime, your safe space. And most importantly he is the love of your life, the father of your daughter, your husband.

And nothing will ever be greater than this.

“Quiet now daddy, I’ll give Mommy her present!”

“Honey, I told you over and over you don’t have to get me something. You’re my greatest present.”

“After me”, Satoru mumbles with a sly grin, his hand gently caressing your cheek while your daughter drags the biggest box you’ve ever seen behind her.

“I love you babe.”

“I love you more”, you reply, pulling him down into a passionate kiss.

God, how much you love that man. Despite all the things he’s been through, despite all the responsivity his broad shoulders hold, Satoru never misses to show you his affection even though you’ve been together for so long now. He makes you feel loved, makes you feel special like on day one.

Not only on your birthday.

“Open it! Open it!”

“Wow, this is pretty heavy”, you comment in utter surprise.

What on earth is in there?

“Open it”, your husband begins to demand as well, his eyes glowing like the ones of his tiny daughter next to him.

These two…What are they up to again? Is it a prank gift, one of those strange souvenirs Satoru loves to bring you from his missions? Or is it something disgusting, like the ran-over rat she gifted you last time?

You open the box, ready to be greeted by literally anything.

But not by a gorgeous gown.

“You can’t be serious”, you breathe out.

What a nice glittery fabric, you never felt something this soft in your entire life. With a swift motion you get out of bed, pulling the dress out in order to see it in its full glory. This is everything you ever imagined, the one dress that caught your eye in that one show window every single time.

The show windows.

“You really bought me a prom dress?”, you cry out.

You don’t care about how pathetic you must look now. This gown is gorgeous, way better than anything you could have worn back then.

“You said you never wore a prom dress so I needed to buy you one”, your daughter explains proudly.

There is no time to waste. Faster than she’s able to react you kneel down in front of her, devouring her body with yours.

“You’re an angel my baby”, you mumble into her soft hair while she grabs your face gently and wipes your falling tears away.

“No, I’m your daughter Mommy!”

“Now try it on, Momma.”

“You are the best husband ever, Satoru…”

“Tell me something I don’t know. Now come on, show us that dress!”

“Yes Mommy, show us the dress!”

You suddenly feel so overwhelmingly special. Wearing a gorgeous gown in your bedroom, surrounded by your husband and daughter cheering for you. Is this really your life? If it’s a dream you never want to wake up again.

“You really look like a princess”, your daughter shouts in excitement, clapping into her little hands.

You can’t help but stretch out your arms, embrace her into a tight hug again. Oh, you truly don’t deserve your precious little family, you don’t deserve all the things they do for you.

“I love you…”

“…to the moon and back”, your daughter ends your sentence like she always does.

“You look pretty hot, babe…”, Satoru purrs in front of you, his eyes darken just the way you love it.

“Wait until evening.”

Bonus:

"How much money do you have?", Gojo questions while standing in front of the checkout.

"I've got...This two coins!"

"Those are 2 cents...You know we can't afford a dress from that, right?"

"That's why I take you with me Daddy!"

Tags: @waffledeath @zeyzeys-stuff @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva@kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san@deezy12299@busyreader17

[running-with-kn1ves]

Hi lovely, to celebrate the new year! I was wondering if you could please do a fluff/smut with Cirden.

Does not have to be hardcore smut only a taste!! thank you so much 4 taking the time out of your day and writing we all appreciate your work.

A/N: took it in me to get this done before January ended!! putting this man in the spicy is so bittersweet b/c it feels so wrong (but so right). And thank you for your kindness!! Lord knows I've been needing some grace. Thank you for being so sweet I'm glad people actually see my stuff <33

CW: NSFW/SMUT, public(?) doing the dirty in the woods, hunting, elf X reader, established marriage

WC:2.8k

Gender Neutral Reader X Male Elf husband

"Raagghh. I haven't caught ANYTHING..." One of your arrows lands in the dirt, it's blade skinning against the ground before it fell flat. You couldn't even manage to stab a lizard that blundered past you, it's skittering body running as your arrow slumped.

"Don't get discouraged," Cirdan mumbled with unmoving lips, focused on the prey only a few meters in front of him. "It's only your first time with a bow and arrow."

He still managed to whisk away your heart in his crouched battle stance as you curled on the forest floor, his arrow flying as it released with a snap. The harsh squeak of a cottontail broke the silence of the ancient trees, a fatal jump being it's last movement before it succumbed to the ground in a helpless flop. Your husband moved forward without you to slice it's throat. You looked away in shame; he had been hunting for your dinners ever since your joint movement into the cottage currently a mile away; he had cut the heads off deer and ducks while you sat back and covered your eyes. You couldn't even shoot down a bird, not only from your poor aim but your heart lurched everytime you saw its feathered breast beat with life, its beak release a hymn of song. Every now and again you could garner the courage to help him defeather or clean the bones of his latest catch but when seeing their heads or lifeless eyes, it made your insides churn.

It was dispiriting, knowing you couldn't provide in the way he had learned to do since he was a child. But by Gods and Goddesses, did he not look fine holding that bow and pulling back its string, showing the strength in his chest and the unwavering focus in his grey-blue eyes. You memorialized the image in your head, toes scrunching deep in your sewn leather boots (created by cirdan and his many talents) with your knees pushed together, gaze focused on the ground.

"Whats wrong?"

You looked up from your place in the dirt and dead leaves, your spouse like a pretty ice mountain that you had to strain upwards to see. He placed three dead bunnies by their ears into the sack that was once on his back; if he were alone, he would've just carried them by hand back to the cottage.

"Nothing, I was just... thinking. It's beautiful out here."

You looked up at the canopy of trees, dappled light speckling between the small empty holes that neither branch nor bushy leaves covered to block the evening sun.

Cirdan bent down, placing his sack on the ground as a warm hand came to cover the top of your head. A calloused palm pushed your hair back, patting you with deadweight.

You couldn't see the rest of him with his gigantic arm in the way, his voice like an omniscient invisible God of the forest. 

"Don't worry if you can't hunt...I'll do enough for the both of us," His palm slid to your cheek in a messy fashion, attempting to be heedful of how firm his touch was, too used to handling his bow with untamed strength for the day. His hand was a pillow on your cheek as he pressed his thumb against your temple. "It's my job to take care of you."

He spoke as if mostly to himself, thin silver lashes disguising his eyes while he watches your lips with a small, almost unnoticeable quiver. But he didn't waver as you stared back, gaze running from his deep pupils to his strong nose bridge, down to his dripping jugular.

It was tension inside you and it was unbearable. It took choking yourself back to not scream "just kiss me, dammit!"

But elves weren't the hasty type,(especially your aloof husband), and you didn't know what Cirdan would think if you came forward so hungrily. Would he think you were just some lust-crazed old bat that replaced the careful spouse he once knew?

"Come, let's go back; the wind is picking up. I won't let you catch a cold."

The forest was all but blowing, a leaf tumbling every now and again but practically silent. And yet, who were you to argue with the seasoned elf who had survived in forests like this?

You took the outstretched hand cirdan put in front of you, allowing him to practically lift you to your feet as your bow held limply in your other hand with defeat. Alas, another day with no progress in conquering your woodland fear.

You let Cirdan lead you, following him past old oaks and emptied burrows, unable to keep your wide eyes off of him. It was nice, to distract your disappointed mind from your empty game sack to the hauntingly beautiful portrait of the manly elf before you.

"What is it?" Cirdan stopped, looking at you with those long locks covering his scarred eye, the other staring with a darkened brow.

"Nothing!" You'd repeat, looking away with your antsy feet bouncing, hoping he'd somehow read the growing need inside of you. And this carried on a countless too many times before you saw the clearing that led to the desire path back home.

What were you to say? That you wanted him here and now? That you wished he'd just smile and hold you and tell you to take off your hunting clothes and everything underneath as soon as you got back home? Yeah, right. As if the stoic beast that you married would be so forward, as hopeful and desiring as you.

You sneaked glances, learning better than before when aiming to witness the veins in his forearm that traveled to the hand interlocked with yours, the pants that fit his slightly toned ass just right. Gods, were you really so sinful? But, was it so wrong to want your husband, to think of him panting above you and his beautiful thighs encasing you with heartache and hunger?

Cirdan stopped again. You were about to tell him now this time you really weren't looking but he didn't face you, instead dropping his bag along with an unused set of arrows accompanying his bow.

"I think... I understand."

You tilted your head at him, maybe at a poor attempt to get him to look at your cute side.

"I'm supposed to do more than...be a a simple protector."

You would've pressed for more information, if it weren't for the oddly timed shove towards a nearby tree. Cirdan took the bag from your hands faster than you could ask "what the hell are ya doing," his sharp face only mere inches away and angled as if he was about to kiss you.

But maybe, that was just your imagination, your mind centered only on his smoothened pinkish lips.

"Is this what you wanted...?"

The elf brute inched down, nudging your nose with a deep exhale. His hands engulfed yours, holding them down at your sides as he pressed his lips snuggly to your cupids bow.

The sheer power of his face pushed your skull against the tree; along with it a warm, humid hand came from behind to press along the curve of your back. His pointer finger inched, massaging into your tailbone as the elf's thigh quickly entrapped you between he and the old oak.

That hand moved down to the waist of your hunting trousers, digging beneath them to reach more savory skin.

You almost jumped at the slight clutch of your left ass cheek, your husbands eyes shut as he rubbed his forehead against you.

Lost words were grumbled under his breath with a gentle rasp, his other hand leaving your fingers as they braced against the bark of the tree behind you.

"Cirdan-- wha," you tried to figure out what you were feeling, what the right thing to do would be. Which was, to tell him that this was not the right place, nor the right time. But that gentle nudge of his tented crotch against your leg made any thoughts of lucidity drift.

"Want you..." He spoke, barely above a hum. "Isn't this, what you needed? Looking at me, at my..."

"Don't finish that sentence," you warned, unable to meet his gaze as he softly squinted open his eyes. "Maybe so but--! Right here?? Right now? In the woods?! Even I'm not desperate enough to make us do it...here."

"No creatures come to the edge of the woods... too smart for that. We're too far away for any hunters to venture close enough." You could see even he wasn't one to normally suggest this idea; but if anyone knew this forest, it was him. "Besides, said I want to take care of you.. did you not think I'd follow through on that..?"

"But, wait, I mean-" you nearly whined, hardly able to contain yourself with the hand massaging your backside, the fat of his buldge grinding into your quadricep. He was almost as bad as the rabbits he so skillfully caught, their known libidinous currently rivaling his own.

It was still atleast a 15 minute walk back to the cottage when following the path directly back. Could you make it that long? If not, could you bare the anxiety of having him bend you over in the woods completely out in the open?

"I didn't know you were so... pent up." You choked. "I mean, you're not just doing this for me, right?"

Who were you kidding? He was practically rubbing on you like a fox in heat.

"Please don't make me beg." He looked at you directly, finding your lost-at-sea eyes that had been rapidly searching for any creature or holy figure nearby witnessing you and your husbands' immoralities. He wasn't whining nor desperate but rather asking you, to please, not make him put himself even lower at your mercy-- if that was even possible.

His directness caught you off guard; sure, you had been on the edge of ripping your clothes off and throwing yourself at him but-- to have him beat you to the punch?

You couldn't help yourself when he leaned in, his soft locks brushing against your shoulder as the tip of his pink tongue swiped your lower lip, his confidence having grown since the first time you made love to him in the dark.

You opened your mouth greedily, nearly starvingly so as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. How could you say no, when he asked you so genuinely, when your groin ached to be caressed by him?

With the confession of your open mouth and the lewd noises of your labored breaths, Cirdan moved quicker than with the normal diligent pace he tended to do everything with. In a split second your leg was wrapped around his hip, his large hand rubbing gently at the front zipper of your trousers, reaching in deep between your legs to get a good cup full o' you. 

You couldn't just ignore the cries of his loins as he lunged forward, desperate for your affection. You undid the two buttons holding the elf's own wood-colored slacks up. They drooped only slightly to show the clean grey of his happy trail, your palm digging in to reach for the stiff piece that craved a special touch.

It slid out so easily, his tip warm against your wrist. You couldn't help but watch him leak just a bit, slightly hard as a thin vein pulsed under your thumb.

"Gods please...I said t'not make me beg." He muffled in your ear, taken aback uncharacteristically as you stroked with the intent to milk him for all he had.

It was so cute and fat, the small grey-white hairs of the front of his cock leading down to his crowned jewels, making you appreciate the differences between humans and elves. His pointed ears twitched upward as he practically foamed at the mouth against your neck. A gentle palm came to push your shoulder against the tree with simplicity.

Without unzipping, cirdan shifted to pull your pants and undergarments down to your knees; in a matter of two seconds he managed to strip you half naked. Your hand was pulled away from the elf, interlocked instead with his fingers as your bare thigh was hoisted further up against his naked hip.

His chest pressed up against you as he slowed to get inside, looking at you with glazed over, hooded eyes. He didn't look away, he couldn't. There was something about the sweat at the corner of your brow, your slightly ajar lips that kept him going, entering inside of you with raw cock and raw determination, awaiting to see that expression of nearful ecstasy that would wash away all the neediness you had been experiencing.

You didn't know how he could do it, stare at you so intently without any break away while you sweated under his gaze. If he wasn't currently bottoming out inside of you right now, you would've felt like you were under interrogation. You both huffed simultaneously once your hole swallowed up the entirety of him, your right leg limp over his thigh as he pressed you up further against the tree.

"Feel okay?" Cirdan panted, and you could see he was barely keeping himself at bay. What a gentleman, controlling himself from fucking you blind-- not that you would've minded the latter, of course.

You responded in turn by grinding down on him, rolling your hips forward to have that needy, hungry and achingly thirsty spot become just a little farther quenched.

It was difficult to not throw your head back and scream, feeling so warm and full as you gripped the back strands of the elfs hair.

With the time you had spent with him you realized Cirdan wasn't much of a grunter, preferring unconsciously to huff and pant and wordlessly suck through his teeth when he was inside of you. If you were lucky, you'd get to see him furrow his brows in exasperation, frowning as if he was concentrating hard on something important and not just from rocking into you. The challenging part about being his first lover however, was that he was still learning not to finish in the first few seconds of plunging inside.

"Ill.. n'take care of yo..u" he muttered, lifting your hips as your bare ass scraped against the bark of the tree. "Take care so good..."

You would've laughed at his drunken fervor if you didn't find it so endearing, the urge to stick your tongue into his heated cavern of a mouth washing over you like a wave.

Cirdan accepted the kiss greatfully, placing a hand behind your head to grace your thump against the tree. You could hear the branches shake, a stray dead leaf falling on the top of your head as he rutted forward, your own pelvic floor pushing against his thrusts. The elf's nose smushed against the side of your own, lips practically consuming one another as his lashes brushed your cheek. Sweat formed on your back dripping to your legs, but you didn't care. It felt too good, your senses only focusing on where he was caressing or what would be next, the cold breeze reminding you that you were still outside.

That fear remained in the back of your mind, your eyes occasionally opening and scanning the forest that you could see beyond Cirdan. But there was nothing, nothing but the trees and dead fallen logs blocking pathways.

Your kisses drifted away as you saw a hunched over deer, somewhat 10 paces away with its head burrowed in a bush.

Cirdan slowed, the deep drilling inside of you now merely a thick discomfort of occasional thrusts. He could feel you were getting lost in your worry, your grip on his shoulders loosening.

"Ma’sal’shiral," he grabbed your chin, turning you away from the fear of the forest. "Going to make you feel love unlike any creature has known;" he kissed you with wet lips, giving you breath and teeth. "So please, don't turn from me."

The horrible ache in his eyes, the twitch inside of you-- for how torturous it was for yourself, it was just as bad for him. You would've apologized, turned the mood even further south into sourness if he hadn't begun rocking again, holding your back to keep your sensitive skin away from the tree. He huffed into your cheek, pressing hard up against you as he cherished everything he could touch. The deer that once took over your thoughts was now pushed to the edge, your eyes half-shut now that all you could feel was the depth of your husband, his precum mixing with the heat of your hole. The crude sound of skin on skin, the slight slap of elf balls hitting your ass-- it nearly sent your mind into overdrive.

And even with the pain of tree bark rubbing against your skin, the stench of petrichor and sweat in your nose, you wouldn't trade this moment for anything.

This might even be better than the bed... Okay, maybe not. But that didn't matter with Cirdan so far inside of you he huffed with inclination, tempting to keep his orgasm at bay.

[snowsinterlude]

˚ ᜔ ࣪ ✿ ࣭ ۟ bathtub.

(corioanus snow x reader)

summary: stressed about that time of the month, your boyfriend watched you bathe in awe of the red water.

c.w: period sex, sensitivity, fertile period, p in v, oral sex (f. recieving), blood, biting, praising, overstimulation, dacryphilia, petnames (doll, princess, angel), bathtub sex, blood kink, breeding, unprotected sex, fingering, making reader taste herself.

a/n: i watched saltburn . need to get a bit out of my system . also i'm kinda of sleepy and shaky so there's probably a bunch of mistakes here

you hated being on your period. it always came when you wanted the nastiest things possible.

now, mourning for the loss of a contact you couldn't have now, you were deep into the bathtub, only your face was capable of beig seen inside of the bathtub alongside with the red water and bubbles.

your boyfriend was kneeling by your side, washing your hair with the upmost kindness as his fingers rubbed your scalp. god, you were crazy about him- you wanted him to fuck you, wanted him inside you, taking your pain away.

but you thought it was gross. and even if you adored vampires, you didn't want to see your boyfriend's pretty face being dirty and stick because of your blood.

"i still don't know why you don't wanna do it." he said, kissing your shoulder, massaging them.

"it's gross, coryo. you don't have to do it." you said, feeling shivers down your body. specially when his fingers travelled down to your breasts- gosh, you were so sensitive. your nipples seemed to wake up immediatly. "s..stop. stop, i'm not gonna let you fuck me while i'm like this."

"but it would help ease up the pain." he said, changing his pose to kiss your cleavage. now, he was at the side of the bathtub, your hair was wet, beautiful, some shampoo bubbles were dripping on the floor.

"coryo.." you pouted. you were almost giving in, he could see that, from your tear pooled eyes to your thighs rubbing together; you wanted this as much as he did.

"c'mon, doll. don't hold up. i know you want this just as much as i do." he said, taking off his shirt, getting into the bathtub with you, engulfing your nipple into his hungry mouth.

finally, he earned a moan out of you, your legs instantly spreading to him, his fingers didn't even had a hard time finding your bloody slick, you moaned while holding his hair, his fingers finding your velvet core and entering it easily.

there was something on the sounds of his fingers thrusting your bloody pussy so eagerly, something hungry on the way he mouthed your boob aggressively, biting it on his teeth as if it was a gummy bear, and still being so eagerly sweet in those bites, in those thrusts.

"cory!" you cried, hips bucking up to his fingers, breath hitching, and almost cumming. he could feel it in the way your cunt was clenching around him, that's why he pulled his fingers out of you. "hey.." you pouted.

for your surprise, his fingers were on your mouth now. the metallic, bittersweet taste of your blood was hot on your tongue, and even if you were humming on his fingers, unbelieving of what he was doing, you still sucked on his fingers, swallowing the taste of your own blood.

"coryo!" you called, brows knitted together while he smiled at you. "that was gross! ugh, for god's sake!"

"you swallowed it." he said, grinning darkly. you gulped down your saliva. "i didn't even told you to, you just did."

"i..."

"what a good girl." he chuckled, drowning into the water. the weight of both bodies made the water overflow, it flow off the bathtub, and even if you were surprised, your boyfriend drained the bathtub, and he had the nerve to pull your legs and place them on each side of his head.

you panicked, eyes wide open as you spoke "c-coryo, don't- it is a mess there, didn't you notice i'm on my period?!"

"i don't see how it affects me, princess" he said, kissing your inner thigh, stained with blood. "and, lucky for me, i'm a vampire"

he smiled devilishly. and although you found it was gross, he still managed to manipulate you into allowing it, and so, when his tongue pressed against your sensitive clit in the most delicious manner, you couldn't do anything other than squirm, moan and hold his hair.

but of course, he didn’t leave it at that. of course he had to finger you again, teasing you, passing his fingers through your slick, painting you with your blood; messily painting your blood on your cleavage, on your neck, on your boobs. like a white canvas, you slowly began gaining color.

and with his tongue tasting you, thrusting, licking, torturing you, your back arched perfectly as you held onto the bathtub, mewling his name. "c-cory! coryo!!!" you cried. "'m gonna- oh fuck!"

"i know, doll. i got you." and you came undone quickly, hands shaking, legs shaking, mouth held agape and still, your eyes shone when you saw him on top of you, blood on his chin, on his adam's apple, on his fingers. somehow, it was the prettiest sight you've ever seen. "but do you got me?"

you nodded, grinding so desperately on the bulge of his pants, so sensitive for him, throbbing and clenching, missing the bare contact you had with him. "yes, yes, i do."

this was enough of an answer for him to unbuckle his pants, wet from the way he drowned himself on that bathtub, his dick slapping at your clit, making you mewl at the sudden violence against your most sensitive parts; the way his tip teased your core was getting you to cry.

when he finally penetrated you, you felt like the pain, alongside with your ovulation, were getting into a fight; one seeing who was stronger than the other and for your own pleasure, it was your ovulation who won against the pain of the cramps.

"fuck- look at you, you're so wet" he moaned, taking your waist on his hands, holding you in your place before starting to pound inside you and god, you were so sensitible. it didn't matter anymore, when he licked your tears and kissed your lips, your legs trembled around his waist, you could feel every inch of his dick inside you, and even the slowest thrusts were making you mewl and moan around him. "god, angel, are you tighter than before?"

and you nodded. the side effect of your period was that you always felt tighter, hornier, more sensitive, more emotional; and you couldn't help but suck on his thumb as he thrusted a bit more faster and deeper inside you, kissing your temple and your lips while taking his thumb out of your lips to rub your swollen clit.

"you're so good, look at you. you're just perfect around me." he chuckled, biting your neck and squeezing your boob on his hand.

"coryo, s-slow it down, please. don't wanna c-cum yet!" you pleaded, crying from the overstimulation. you already came, a mild orgasm when he fingered you, another orgasm when he eat you out, and now that you had the sight of him on top of you, fucking you like that, you felt like you would cum just from the sight of it, specially when you looked down to see how it looked- his cock entering you so fast and yet slow, deep and good inside you.

and god! there was blood on his dick! and he didn’t even seem to care- it was like he knew about it, like he wanted more.

"i know, babe. you can cum how many times you want." he said, and you were genuinely crying from pleasure. on the other side, there was a coriolanus who thought that period sex was the prettiest form of bonding. like it was a spiritual thing-

and even when you came, being accompanied by him after a feel thrusts, cum and blood mixing together, he bathed you both and at night, he still managed to fuck you again.

he did it many times before, fucked you on your period as if it was his prize, like there was nothing better than it.

with that being said, now, he had his face buried in between your legs, sucking on your blood while you tried to work on the assignment the teachers gave you both. well, his part was done. now, his job was other;

pleasuring you and sucking the blood off you.

[spicyclover]

You used me

Summary : It's bittersweet to think about the damage that you did.

Next part of "You betrayed me"

Hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know in the comment section.

Thank you! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

When the door closed that night, I collapsed on the floor of my kitchen, on the cold tiles. In the weeks that followed, I spent them in a blur. I kept myself busy to stop thinking, to stop thinking about you. I lived on automatism. I'm a fucking robot, because of you. I get up in the morning without motivation and go to bed with the ball in my stomach to meet you in my dreams.

I’ve been going over and over our conversation. I’m a bet. A fucking, humiliating bet. I have never been more shame than that evening. Everyone knew and no one told me. They knew that I loved you so bad, and I let you treat me like that. I'm so naïve. I just want myself back. I just wanted to be enough. Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded? Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing? But don't tell me you're sorry. You should feel sorry for yourself. An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean.

Once the door was closed. My friends left with you. Because you bring them more than I could ever and it hurts like hell. To see these "friends" I know since my early childhood mock me for my naivety. Until this day, it is hard to believe. I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one, In a short time you became the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I like to dream. And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that you did. You betrayed me.

For the first time since we broke up, I saw you in the street. You had your arm on a new girl. Showing her off like she's a new trophy. A happy and rested look on your face. I wish I dared to come running and punch that smile off your face, but I couldn’t move. You hang out in public with her, but never with me. I went home with tears in my eyes and no morale. It was the first time I managed to leave home after weeks of moping.

The more time passed, the more I felt my head getting out of the water. My body was less numb and I started breathing again, enjoying what I used to love. I adopted a little puppy at this time of my life, the kind we talked about in our long late-night discussion about our future together. You gave me your word. He's the world to me now. Milo, the dog.

The late afternoon often takes me to the beach. I let Milo run on the deserted beach and play with the waves. I take advantage of this moment of calm to observe the sunset. I breathe in and out deeply, letting my last thoughts of you go into the sea. I feel free. After three months of hell, I’m back to normal, like you never existed.

"Hi, bab..." That voice is yours. Why do you come back? Why do you haunt me like that? I turn around and there you are, in all your splendour. Your curls are more beautiful than ever, your face more beautiful than ever. I can't let you win. I walk away from the beach. Milo follows me. I feel your eyes following me soon it's your footsteps I hear. "Please, Y/n, I need to talk to you."

"I think you said enough. You should go back to your new girlfriend. I think she's getting lonely." I said without looking back. The waves fade and I feel your hand grab my arm.

[pickingupmymercedes]

I'd like to believe - Lewis Hamilton

Alternative sequel to Maybe in another life / When I get to meet you

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: mentions of mourning, angst, will make you emotional

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Alternative-ish ending (this was actually my first draft to continue their story, so the happy-ish one is the alternative, sort of).

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

MILD TRIGGERING CONTENT UNDER, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

______________________________________________________________

My dearest little one,

Today marks ten years since you should have been here, celebrating another year of life. Ten times the snow has fallen, making everything quiet outside.

They say time heals all cuts, but some cuts go real deep, leaving scars that never quite go away. And I still find it hard to believe that a whole decade has passed.

You'd be so grown now, so full of life and curiosity, brimming with questions and dreams. I often wonder what you'd be like – would you have my stubbornness and determination, or your mother's grace and patience?

Maybe a beautiful blend of both, creating someone truly unique.

I’m going to visit your stone again later today. Leave this letter like every year. I suspect there’ll be fresh flowers, as always, probably from your mother.

She never forgets.

We never reconnected, not like I'd hoped for. But I think about her often.

I searched everywhere for her. I just really needed someone to share the pain with, someone to hold onto while everything fell apart. We tried talking, spilling out all our feelings, but the words wouldn't come out right. Maybe we were afraid of saying the wrong thing or making things worse.

Maybe we were both thinking the same thing – maybe if we'd done things differently, maybe you'd still be here.

After a while, the space between us just kept getting bigger, too big to cross. You see, your mom, she found a way to move on. She built a life for herself, a life where the pain was still there, but it didn't control her anymore.

I hope she's found peace and happiness, something she deserved more than anyone. She was an incredible woman, and I wish I had been the man she needed me to be.

I hope she reads these letters someday, that she understands how much I loved you both, how much I regret not being there when you needed me most.

Maybe one day, when the weight of these years starts to feel a little lighter, I can finally forgive myself.

Maybe then, I can find the strength to reach out to her, not to get back together, but to find some peace, a simple way to say thank you for the love we shared and sorry for the loss that tore us apart.

You know, life has changed quite a bit since I last wrote to you.

I'm with someone, have been for the past four years. She's patient, kind and knows about you. I don't think we'll ever have children though. She's got her own ghosts.

I retired from racing. Shortly after I won my eighth championship with Ferrari. It was a dream come true, but also bittersweet because I couldn't share it with you. I work as a consultant for the team now, just like Niki was for me at Mercedes. You’d have loved him.

It's a different kind of thrill, guiding the next generation of racers, helping them navigate the same challenges I once faced, but it drives me forward.

I’d like to believe you’d be proud of your old man for that.

I sometime wonder if you would have been drawn to racing too, or maybe you'd have found your passion in something entirely different. Whatever it might have been, I would have supported you every step of the way and with all my heart.

I think about the things you'd enjoy often; you know?! The hobbies and interests you'd develop.

Maybe you'd love music, like your mother. She had an incredible ear for it, always humming a tune or singing softly to herself. It’s what got us close in the first place so many years ago.

Perhaps you'd have a knack for building things, creating something out of nothing with your hands and imagination.

Either way, I hope you'd have found joy in the simple things, just like I try and do now.

There's so much I wish I could’ve shared with you. So many lessons I've learned the hard way and would to show you. Life isn't always easy, my little one. It's filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures.

One of the most important things I wish I could’ve taught you is the value of love. Real love, the kind that fills your heart and soul, and is worth every bit of pain and sacrifice.

I had that with your mother, even if I didn't realize it at the time. She saw right through me, saw the man behind the driver, and loved me for who I was. I'd hope you'd find someone like that, someone who understands and loves you unconditionally.

It might hurt sometimes, but that's how you know it's real. Love isn't always easy, but it's the most beautiful thing.

I would want you to know that it's okay to make mistakes though. I made plenty, and each one taught me something valuable. The key is to learn from them, to grow and become a better person. But each moment, whether good or bad, shapes who you are.

I wish I could have been there to guide you through it all, to help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the victories. My motto has been “Still I Rise” for the longest time and if you wanted it could’ve been yours as well.

Life isn't about being perfect; it's about being true to yourself and striving to be the best version of you.

In the quieter moments I still dream about you, you know. In my dreams, you're a whirlwind of energy, your laughter filling the air. We go on adventures, explore the world together. I teach you what I know, and you teach me about everything else.

Those dreams are my sanctuary, a place where we can be together, even if just for a moment.

Sometimes, I catch myself talking to you out loud, as if you were right beside me. I tell you about my day, about the races, about the world. It might sound silly, but it brings me comfort. It's my way of keeping you close, of making sure you're never forgotten.

Even though we never got to meet, you are a part of me, and I carry you in my heart every day.

You are my greatest loss, but also my greatest gift. You've taught me more about love than anything else in this world.

Sometimes, under a sky full of stars, I imagine you up there with the constellations, looking down at me with curious eyes. And I need you to know that we love you still, deeply and unconditionally.

Ten years old. A whole person with your own personality, dreams, and wishes.

The world missed out on knowing you, and so did I.

But your memory, my precious child, it lives on. It lives on in the way I cherish every moment, every sunrise, every laugh shared with a friend. It lives on in the way I try to be a better person, kinder, someone who would have been a good dad to you.

This letter is my vow written down. A promise that even though you're not here, you'll never be forgotten.

Happy birthday, my sweet child. I hope, wherever you are, you're smiling, knowing that you are loved and cherished.

You are my light, my angel and a part of me. And though the path I walk may be lonely sometimes, I carry you and your mom with me in my heart, always.

With all the love that would have filled a lifetime.

Dad.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld

@fearfam69691 @cmleitora @goldenroutledge @timmychalametsstuff

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[bitterchocoo]

Pookie please!

At first I'm fine with the open ending of Welt x Reader ome. But then you go on ahead and make a sequel with a cliffhanger. Please my heart can't take it.

I won't force you t continue it if you don't want to. I just wanted to say it's amazingly written. And if you did ever wanted to go back continuing that, I'd be looking forward to it. (Be it more angst or bittersweet ending or even happy one. I'm content because I'm just that starving for Welt x male reader)

The very long awaited part three

Yes, Your Excellency

Part One | Part two | Part Three (You're here)

----------

Welt Yang | M. Reader

----------

"I will gladly play the part, so that you may shine, my sun."

----------

Once upon a time in a kingdom far away..

Lived a princess only 14 years of age.

There wasn't anything this princess couldn't have with a boy just like her serving as her right hand man..

"Yes, Your Excellency."

Those are the words he have said to her multiple times, from the very beginning. He was there as he watch his Lady build an empire from nothing. Her anxiousness... her fears.. her loneliness... her suffering..

He saw it all.

His dear Christine.

She was truly.. the light in his tunnel..

Even after everything, she still smiles and answers to her people. Truly a kind and thoughtful ruler.

And he's more than happy to be by her side. To guide her. And comfort her at her lowers.

She was everything to him.

----------

The Stellaron Crisis brought many disasters and ailments. The suffering the people felt, their loved ones who are clutching their last straws. It breaks his heart. Truly it did.

It breaks his heart that Her Excellency has to watch her people suffer.

Her face which was once filled with joy was replaced by a somber expression. Her tone was so soft and full of life has turned sorrowful.

It breaks his heart... Truly... it did..

How could they.. turned such a beautiful person who's full of life into.. this..

It's unforgettable!

And as her right hand man, he will solve this Crisis and finally... bring back that smile that once adored her face.

He endured many sleepless nights and devoted himself to his research. He doesn't care what it takes. He will save her. The Stellaron Crisis is out of control, what if Her Excellency gets infected by its disease? What if she was suffering from the ailment this entire time! He has to! He has to save her! Whatever it takes!

"You worked so hard on trying to solve the Stellaron Crisis. I can see why you're Her Excellency's right hand man."

The day the Nameless arrived at their humble planet, claiming wanting to help and lend their aid. He was skeptical. How could these... people.. be as what they claim to be? How could he know they won't harm anyone? How could he know they won't harm her?

He didn't say anything as he kept vigilant.

They complimented him. Calling him a responsible and caring man for devoting himself to his research on the Crisis that had plagued his home.

Of course.

How could he not?

When she is also affected by it?

She doesn't deserve this.

She doesn't deserve any of this.

Her beloved kingdom.. on the brink of collapsing..

Oh how heartbroken she must be..

Which is why...

He's taking things into his own hands.

He can't just sit idly and see her suffering like that everyday.

----------

"Whatever it takes?"

"How bold~"

"Then why don't you accept our offer?"

"We can help you!"

Their voices are loud. Oh so loud. They begged and persuaded him. Trying to get him on their side.

"We can give you power.. so you can protect her."

Their offers are very tempting. Very very tempting.

----------

The Nameless.. as righteous as they are.. never would he thought one of them could be so interested in him. That man talked to him so casually as if they're old friends, maybe more.

He was never good with names.

But his name seems to stick to him for some reason. The chatter and the gift that man had given. It somehow.. stuck to him in a way he never knew existed.

He felt like he had gone insane.

They're strangers and yet.. it felt like.. they knew each other for so long..

"Oh? What's this?"

"Have you found another?"

"How cruel of you.. to forsake your beloved.."

No... No.. No!! Nonononononononononono!!! He can't!! Her Excellency!! She's—!

"You can't deny it though."

Shut up.. just shut up!

Their voices grew loud as their demans became more tempting by the second.. The Nameless.. as righteous as they may be.. Could he truly trust them..? Trust them to.. solve this Crisis..? Trust them to.. save her..?

Of course not.

How could he? How could he trust them? They're just some random people!! They came uninvited claiming they wanted to help!! Who do they think he is?! He's Her Excellency's right hand! Christine's right hand!

"You know what..? Sure.. I accept."

.

.

.

.

.

"They're nothing but fools."

"No one can save her."

"No one but me."

[deluluwrites]

Florist!Barbie x Ken

✨Part 2

🌸💖🌷🌺💐🌸💖🌷🌺💐🌸💖🌷🌺💐

Once upon a time in the colorful world of BarbieLand, there was a lovely Barbie named Florist Barbie. She had her own little flower shop, “Blooms and Petals," filled with beautiful blossoms of all colors and varieties.

Every day, the doll inhabitants of BarbieLand would come to her shop to buy flowers for their loved ones, and Florist Barbie would take pride in arranging the most enchanting bouquets for them.

Unlike the other Barbie dolls, Florist Barbie had a unique passion for flowers, and her shop was known for its enchanting arrangements and delightful fragrances.

However, there was something that set her apart from the rest of the Barbies in town - there was a hint of sadness in her eyes because, unlike many other Barbies, she didn't have a Ken of her own.

Every day, like clockwork, Stereo Ken strolled into "Blooms and Petals" to buy a bouquet for Stereo Barbie, the girl of his dreams.

Florist Barbie couldn't help but feel a pang of longing whenever she saw them together, as she secretly harbored feelings for Stereo Ken.

Stereo Ken was dashing, with his perfectly coiffed hair and chiseled features. He came to “Blooms and Petals” every morning to buy flowers for Stereo Barbie.

Every morning as Stereo Ken walked into her shop. She'd watch him carefully as he perused the blooms, helping him choose the most meaningful flowers that he believed would win Stereo Barbie's heart.

Florist Barbie's stomach would flutter uncontrollably as she admired Ken from afar, secretly pining for his affection. She knew she could never reveal her feelings, for she feared it would ruin their friendship and Ken's admiration for her floral expertise.

Despite her own longing for him, Florist Barbie couldn't resist helping him. She knew she was trapped in a bittersweet situation where she had to be the silent supporter of his romantic pursuit.

One day, Stereo Ken entered the shop, looking a bit troubled. "Hey, Barbie," he greeted her with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Hey, Ken, What brings you in today?" she replied with a warm smile. “I need your help," Ken admitted, glancing around the shop nervously. "I want to get the perfect flowers for Barbie today. I've been trying so hard to win her heart, but I just feel like I'm not good enough for her."

Florist Barbie's heart sank, "Ken, you are an amazing person," she said sincerely, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You are kind, thoughtful, and caring. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

Ken sighed, "I don't know. Barbie is so perfect, and I feel like I can never measure up to her expectations." Florist Barbie felt a mix of sympathy and frustration.

She wanted to tell him that he deserved someone who appreciated him for who he was, but she couldn't reveal her true feelings. Instead, she focused on helping him find the perfect flowers for Barbie.

"Let's pick out some flowers with special meanings," she suggested, leading him through the shop. "How about these roses? They represent love and admiration, which perfectly captures your feelings for Barbie."

Ken nodded, his face brightening a little. "That sounds good. What else?" Florist Barbie went to another display, “Oooh! Lilies, represent purity and devotion, which can be perfect if you want to show your sincerity.”

She went to another display and picked some more flowers, “Or these Orchids could signify beauty and admiration, which is an ideal choice to convey your admiration for her grace. And then, there are the sunflowers, symbolizing warmth and happiness, a great way to express the joy she brings into your life."

Ken listened intently to her words, nodding slowly. "Those are all wonderful choices, Barbie. But you know what I just realized? Aren't all these your favorite too?"

Florist Barbie blushed, unable to hide her secret any longer. "Well, yes, they are," she admitted, her voice a soft whisper. "I find beauty and meaning in all of them. But enough about me, let's focus on helping you choose the perfect bouquet for Barbie."

They continued their search, and Florist Barbie carefully selected a bouquet that conveyed love, admiration, sincerity, warmth, and happiness, hoping that Stereo Barbie would see the depth of Ken's affection.

As Ken hurriedly gathered the bouquet, he turned to Florist Barbie with a grateful smile. "Thanks for all your help, Barbie. I don't know what I would have done without you. You're such a good friend."

Florist Barbie's heart sank as she forced a weak smile in return. "You're welcome, Ken. I'm glad I could assist you. I hope Barbie loves the flowers."

Ken nodded enthusiastically, seemingly oblivious to the turmoil within Florist Barbie's heart. "I'm sure she will. They're perfect, just like you always say."

With that, he dashed out of the flower shop, leaving Florist Barbie standing there, feeling the weight of heartbreak and unrequited love.

She watched him go, struggling to keep her composure, "That's what I do, Barbie," she sighs whispering to herself, forcing a smile. "I help others find happiness even if it's not with me."

🌸💖🌷🌺💐🌸💖🌷🌺💐🌸💖🌷🌺💐

The next day, BarbieLand was buzzing with excitement as Stereo Barbie announced she was hosting a Big Blowout Party.

Florist Barbie was attending the event, feeling a mix of excitement and sadness. She chatted with her friend Allan, who could see the longing in her eyes whenever Ken was mentioned.

Ken approached them, looking anxious. "Hey, Barbie. Allan. Can I talk to you for a moment?" Allan looked at Florist Barbie curiously. "Sure, Ken. What's on your mind?" Florist Barbie tried to appear composed, even though her heart was racing as she replied almost instantly.

"I'm thinking of asking Barbie(Stereo) to dance tonight. Do you think she'd say yes?" he asked, nervously running his hand through his perfectly coiffed hair and scratching his neck nervously.

“Well I think-“ Allan begins wanting to give his buddy advice but Florist Barbie musters smile and interrupts. "Absolutely, Ken. You should go for it! I'm sure she'd love to dance with you."

Ken thanks them giving Florist Barbie his wine goblet joining the dance floor leaving Florist Barbie feeling a mixture of happiness for him and deep sorrow within herself.

Allan, seeing her distress, took her aside. "Barbie, you can't keep this to yourself any longer. You need to tell Ken how you feel."

She sighs throwing the goblet behind her, "I can't, Allan. It's too painful. I'll only end up losing his friendship too."

Allan placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You deserve to be happy too, Barbie. You never know how Ken might feel about you if you don't confess. Take a chance, or you'll always wonder what could have been."

Despite Allan's words, Florist Barbie left the party heartbroken. She found solace near a shimmering pink water fountain. Sitting alone, she felt a deep pain in her heart as she stared at her reflection in the plastic water.

Suddenly, to her shock, a human-like tear trickled down her porcelain cheek. "What is happening to me?" she wondered in astonishment. Shocked, she touched her face, wondering how such a thing was possible. Little did she know that her genuine emotions and the depth of her feelings had brought her to life in a way she had never experienced before.

Part 2….?

[otomehoneyybearr]

Ikemen Prince 4th Anniversary Eve

Yves & Nokto: A Table Full of Alcohol, Alcohol, and More Alcohol

One day at Rhodolite Castle――

Yves: "Hmm, this alcohol seems strong, so it might go well with cream puffs."

Nokto: "..."

Yves: "This one here has a beautiful blue color like the sea... Oh, but it surprisingly has a sweet taste."

Yves: "In that case, it might pair well with a slightly bittersweet chocolate cake."

Nokto: "..."

Yves: "Hmm? What's wrong? You've been staring at me for a while now."

Yves: "Oh, I see. It's because your big brother—"

Nokto: "It's not that."

Yves: "But I haven't said anything yet!"

Nokto: "You were about to say something like 'Your big brother wasn't paying you any attention, so you were bored,' right?"

Nokto: "I don't need to hear it to know what you're going to say, Evie."

Yves: "I see."

Nokto: "…..Wow, you're really happy about that. You're so optimistic."

Nokto: "But seriously, how can you drink one glass after another?

Nokto: “I mean just look at the table; more than half of the glasses are empty. Aren't you even a little tipsy?"

Yves: "Not at all."

Nokto: "The gap between your innocent face and your bottomless capacity for alcohol will always amaze me."

Yves: "Hehe, my alcohol tolerance is as strong as Jin's and Leon's. This is only just the beginning for me."

Yves: "Oh, and Nokto, don't try to drink as much as your big brother, okay?"

Yves: "Well, if you do get drunk, I'll take care of you. Because I’m your big brother!"

Nokto: "Alright, alright, enough of that. Please just continue your research on snacks that go well with alcohol."

Yves: "Geez, you guys always brush me off like that..."

Yves: "But, I do appreciate you always getting me all these different kinds of alcohol from both domestic and foreign sources.”

Yves: “Being able to drink with you like this is the best way to bond as brothers.”

Nokto: “Well, I do think that spending time with you is valuable, since I get to learn which alcohol pairs well with sweets for free.

Nokto: “And I don’t need you to say, ‘Isn’t this supposed to be aa fun time drinking with big brother?’”

Yves: “Ugh… It’s good that you understand big brother so well, but it’s frustrating that I can say it.”

Nokto: "Speaking of which, there was a girl I met at a party who liked alcohol and sweets."

Nokto: "Maybe I should invite her to drink the sweet blue-colored alcohol we talked about earlier. Along with some chocolate cake."

Yves: "Hey, don't use my efforts for your womanizing."

Nokto: "Whether or not I use the knowledge I gain is up to me, and you should be happy that your little brother is actually listening, right?"

Nokto: "So, what other snacks go well with the other drinks?"

Yves: “You’re a smooth talker, but I won’t be falling for it this time.”

Yves: “But, just for today, I’ll teach you in a way that’s easy to understand!”

Nokto: “You’re already falling for it.”

Yves: "Okay, let's decide what to pair next. Oh, this peach-colored one looks good…"

Nokto: “Your face tells me that your really happy to have your little brother rely on you.”

Nokto: “Seriously, my big brother is so easy to read, it’s almost troublesome.”

Master List

▼・ᴥ・▼

[ingravinoveritas]

Have you seen this? I head "Michael got excited about being connected through matching bracelets" and immediately thought that you're going to have some thoughts.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeQE7KSk/

Oh my god. No, I hadn't seen this video until now, but thank you SO much for sending it to me! I'll post a clip of the most pertinent part about what Michael said below, but I urge folks to check out the whole thing on Tiktok, as this is the woman who made the bracelets we saw David wearing at the Proud Nerd Con last weekend:

My first immediate reaction after seeing/hearing this was utter disbelief and delight, coupled with a complete lack of surprise because...Michael. If there is anyone who could channel "15-year-old girl during the last week of summer camp" energy, it is Michael. It's also terribly bittersweet and yet somehow fitting knowing that we're nearing the end of Michael's time in London--which I think we can now refer to as Shennant Summer, at least in Australia, though the last six months were technically the winter here.

(My second thought was that I feel like we're a hell of a lot closer than ever before to my imaginings of Michael and David getting complementing tattoos somehow manifesting into reality...)

But...my god. I don't think any of us could picture Michael and David not being connected in some way, even if/when they're not in the same city, and yet the thought of Michael wanting to have some tangible reminder of David with him always is doing things to my heart that may necessitate the use of defibrillators. I feel like this is some kind of reverse Parent Trap situation where Michael is going to "accidentally" pack one of the Tennant kids in his suitcase, which will mean David will have to go to Wales to collect his wayward offspring, and then the next thing you know they're on a yacht drinking Champagne while "I Love You (For Sentimental Reasons)" plays in the background.

I think what is so incredible to me is that we know how soft (in the best way possible) Michael is, but to know that he's specifically gotten that way over David--that he holds David in that deep heart space--is achingly beautiful. I know a lot of folks will say that this is giving all of the "friendship bracelet" and "besties" vibes, but I really don't think it's much of a stretch to think that it could be something more. Everything about this just feels so romantic at this point that, in my opinion, it would seem almost ludicrous to not consider it a possibility. Because right now, neither Michael nor David appear to be holding back, and I'm so here for it.

Thank you again so much for sending this my way. I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks, so please feel free to add your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for writing in! x

[yuurivoice]

To the person too scared to try...

If you've been hesitant to do a thing, don't let that fear of being bad keep you from trying. Maybe it's a creative thing. Maybe it's a professional or personal thing. Whatever the case may be, we all start somewhere, and until we begin practicing we cannot begin growing.

I've had to listen to quite a bit of my older work recently, even work that I thought I was really proud of. BitterSweet Chapter 1 is a good example. In my head, I had told myself "that's about where I started being good" but you know what?

Not really. It's kind of rough, and that was years into my time voice acting. Listening to how I sound now, it's hard to believe that I was even the same guy. However, I couldn't have reached this point where I'm genuinely proud of my work and believe in its quality if I didn't begin all those years ago.

Going all the way back to the beginning, it was really not great, but you know what? People enjoyed it. There was an audience. Not everyone was rude, or cruel, or dismissive. There were some, sure. Where are they now, though? And where am I?

It's okay to be nervous, or even fearful of attempting a new thing. It means it matters to you. It means you have a desire to be good at that thing. Let that desire outweigh the anxiety and fear of failure. Failure is just a part of the journey, and believe me when I say you'll be grateful that you started moving forward when you begin hitting those benchmarks and growing in whatever it is you're wanting to do.

I look back and I cringe a bit. We all do, in some way or another. I built a whole career off of those rough cuts, though. Those miserable takes and questionable acting choices, it was all a part of figuring out how to get better. I'm able to look back and see where I learned, how I adjusted, and when I eventually figured it out. And the beautiful thing is, there are fans of the stuff I am not proud of. There are people who listen to things I literally can't stand long enough to finish and go "THIS IS WHERE I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTER!!!!" and it helps me realize that quality isn't always the measuring stick we should use.

Were you passionate about what you made? Were you having fun? Can others feel the love you had in that moment, the excitement that motivated you to do that thing? There are times where all of those intangibles become incredibly tangible. Where the immeasurable matters more. Where sometimes it's just about doing it, and enjoying it, and letting go of the comparisons, the doubt, and all of that bullshit that's keeping you from reaching your potential.

I know. Wall of texts are so popular these days, but I'm hoping that this message finds the exact person who needs to see this and it encourages them to take those first steps. Good luck, and have fun!

[starlost-andfound]

claire de lune | bang chan

bang chan x friend gn!reader

summary: on a particularly rough night, y/n and chan find comfort in each other's company under the moonlight

word count: 1.1k

warning: discussions of grief, losing loved ones, mentions of death, angst and a bit of bittersweet but comforting (?) fluff

authors note: i don't actually think anyone will read this but i'm missing some ppl a little more than usual tonight. i thought i'd write this as a comfort for myself and for others who feel the same too

additional note: also, after years of using tumblr, i just figured out how to do this three pictures in a row thing and i am absolutely ecstatic about it

_ _ _

The knock on his studio door snapped Chan out of his trance.

He blinked his eyes a few times, his vision slowly coming back to focus, staring at the black computer screen in front of him. How long had he been zoned out? His head drifting to other places, clinging to lingering thoughts? 

He glanced at the clock. 1:45 AM. Had it really been that long?

The knock sounded and Chan cleared his throat, “Come in.”

The door opened slightly and y/n peaked through the small gap. 

“Oh, hey you,” Chan smiled tiredly. “It’s been a while.”

Y/n smiled. “Mind if I step in?”

“You know you’re always welcome,” Chan gestured to the couch behind him. The bags under y/n’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by him. He couldn’t deny that he held his own too. Chan had been in the studio for so long he could barely remember what time he had entered and how much time had passed.

Y/n closed the door behind them, leaning against it. 

“Why are you up so late?” Chan asked.

“I could ask you the same.”

Chan chuckled. He glanced at the time again and sighed. He looked back at y/n, “Wanna go out on a walk?”

“Yeah, I could use some fresh air.”

_ _ _

Chan and y/n didn’t really have a destination in mind. They walked quietly side by side, matching each other’s pace. Occasionally, a soft sigh would break the silence or one of the two would point out the nice weather or a stray cat on the opposite side of the street. Both carried some kind of weight, a wearing shadow looming behind them.

Eventually the two found a park and made their way to a bench. Y/n let out a sigh as they sat. Chan followed, sitting a slight distance away from them. Neither made the first move to speak, both of their hearts aching to let go of the heavy anchor in their chest, but neither were courageous enough to say the words they needed to.

Chan looked up and sighed.

“Oh,” he whispered. “It’s a half moon tonight.”

Y/n followed his gaze up to the sky. They hummed in agreement. “Yeah, it’s beautiful.”

“You never did tell me why you were up,” Chan added.

A small pause. “Too much on my mind,” y/n mumbled.

“What were you thinking about?”

“It’s not so much of what I was thinking about,” y/n replied. “- but more of who i was thinking about,” they whispered. 

Y/n inhaled deeply and cleared their throat. “Why were you up?”

Chan chuckled, but his laughter held some heaviness. “I guess the same as you.”

After a longer silence, Chan spoke again. “Were they a friend, family... or a lover?”

“Family,” y/n spoke quietly, afraid if they spoke any louder their feelings would burst. “You?”

“Friend,” Chan sighed..

He laughed lightly. “It doesn’t get easier, does it?”

“Nope,” y/n chuckled, fiddling with the hem of their t-shirt. “I feel like every time it hits me I drown again.”

“They say it comes in waves.”

“Yeah,” y/n bit their lip as their eyes started to water, a lump building in their throat.

“Sometimes it’s unforgiving like a high tide and it completely floods and it drowns you,” Chan continued with a deep breath. “But sometimes it’s gentle and kind like the low tide on a shore on a quiet morning.”

A tear slipped passed y/n’s eye and they quickly brushed it away.

“I hate it, I really do.” their lip trembled. They inhaled shakily. “I just wish it would go away.”

“I know,” Chan said. “Me too.”

He couldn’t tell when the first tear had fallen, quickly wiping away the tears smudged on his cheeks. 

“I just don’t know how to deal with all of this pain that I have left, all of this love I have left for them. I don’t know where to put it. I don’t know how anyone lives with it. How the world just keeps spinning but I’m still stuck here.”

“I guess we just have to learn to live with it,” Chan whispered. “Slowly, step by step. We put the love we have left for them into the way we live.”

He paused, and breathed shakily. “Maybe by smiling a little more for them, or doing that crazy thing we’re scared of, just living more for them - because they would’ve wanted that for us.” His voice wavered, “They would’ve wanted us to be happy.”

Y/n sniffled. “You have a really good way with words.”

“Funny.” Chan laughed through his tears. “People say that a lot.”

“Sometimes, I feel really lost without them. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’m doing with myself, with my life.” y/n spoke. “They used to be a call away and now, I don’t know what to do when I need them the most.”

“It’s hard, learning to live and grow.” Chan said. “As you get older, you grow apart or you have to learn how to keep growing on your own.” 

He sniffled. “But they’re always looking out for us, even when they’re gone. You just need to look for the signs.”

“Do you think they can see us from up there?”, y/n asked, looking back up at the sky.

“I think they do. They always watch over us, in the stars.” Chan pointed up in the far distance, to a small cluster of stars surrounding the moon. 

The two sat in silence again, both looking up at the stars, the moonlight washing over them with a soft glow, wrapping them in a gentle embrace.

“For what it’s worth, I think they would be really proud of who you are today.” Chan looked at y/n.

Y/n’s eyes welled with tears again. “You really think so?”

“I’m sure of it.”

“Thank you,” y/n said quietly. They glanced at Chan. “For what it’s worth, I know that they’re really proud of you too Chan.”

Chan remained silent for a moment, composing himself before he replied. “Thank you, y/n.”

They sat together quietly for a few more minutes, each allowing the other to feel their own heaviness in their chest, in their own time. 

After some time passed, the only sound heard was the distant chirp of crickets and their quiet breathing.

“Do you want to head back?”, y/n asked.

Chan looked back up at the moon and exhaled shakily. “I think I’d like to stay here for a bit longer, look at the stars a little more.”

“I think I’ll stay a little bit longer too.”

Up above them, in the light of the moon in the dark sky, a pair of stars shined a little brighter.

[strongheartneteyam]

[ IMPORTANT: the picture in the middle is a fungi that produces a liquid that ONLY SEEMS like blood. It's NOT real blood.]

It bleeds and it burns.

Neteyam Sully x female!omatikaya!reader

Author's note: Neteyam is in his twenties and he's now the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan.

CW: established relationship, so angsty, broken hearted reader, jealous reader, insecure reader, mentions of sex, emotionally hurt neteyam, intense feelings, hurt/comfort, crying, forgiveness, heart wrenching but beautiful

Not proofread. Also, I don't really know what kind of fanfiction this is, maybe a short story ??? no idea. just felt like writing it. hope u guys like it ♡

( :̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

And so it seems I broke your heart

My ignorance has struck again

I failed to see it from the start and tore you open 'til the end

And I'm sorry to my unknown lover

Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me

Sorry (Halsey)

( :̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

Neteyam would always take your hand and smile at you so sincerely. You could tell how much he loved you only by the way his lips curled up and his mouth opened up wide, his fangs protruding.

You knew how strong he was, how powerful he was as the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan. Your mate was a fearless, brave warrior, a skilled hunter, a beyond great archer.

But you also knew he would never hurt you. He would never dare to use his physical strength or high intelligence to bruise or betray you, in any way. Not if he could help it. Never on purpose.

Neteyam had the softest spot for you ever. He was always there to help you, to keep you safe. He'd spend longer than usual out in the forest only to hunt your favorite kind of meat, gather your favorite fruits, bring you enough water for you to never be dehydrated.

You were a jealous kind of girl. Whenever you saw another female na'vi, a stranger, who wasn't a family member or an old friend of his, gazing at him for way too long, you'd become territorial. You'd sit on his lap when everyone would gather to eat together around the scorching bonfire, just so all the other Omatikaya girls knew Neteyam was yours. That you two had made tsaheylu, that it was useless to try.

Meanwhile, Neteyam only had eyes for you but you couldn't realize that. Even though everytime you two made love, especially when he was going through his rut, he would worship your body just like you were a goddess, like you were Eywa herself. So, you ended up hurting him when trying to keep him closer. You ended up making him bleed instead of nursing his wounds. You would have anger outbursts, fighting with Neteyam and showing too much jealousy unbelievably often.

One night, you were crazily mad at him. He was late. Where the hell could he be? What company was he keeping?

When Neteyam finally came home, only a little later than the usual, you started to ask him a handful of cutting questions. You asked him - nervously and in attack mode - where he was, if someone was with him, why was he so damn late. You told him you were not a fool and if he ever cheated on you, you'd never forgive him.

"I was just looking for this." He handed you a small basket full of bittersweet little berries. "I know they are your favorite. Wanted to bring you some but finding them took longer than I expected. There was a nantang in the way." (viperwolf) "I had to make him go away without hurting him too much. It was hard..." He sighed, tired "Sorry for coming home late." Neteyam was so calm, his altruism ruled over his instinct to defend himself.

You were left speechless, full of regret, feeling sorry for... everything. You had to change. You had to be a better mate for your Neteyam. He deserved the world and took so many responsibilities for himself. It had been so since he was a young na'vi boy. He surely felt overwhelmed. Who was going to always be there for him if not his mate, the one he was bonded to forevermore?

"You know," Neteyam's eyes stared deep inside yours. His feline like ears were pointing down, betraying his pain "not everything is what it seems."

You were frozen in your place, looking down at the floor, not able to look him in the eye. Your thoughts started to spiral, telling you that you were not good enough to be his mate and you always mess everything up in the end. Some seconds passed while you listened to that wicked voice in your head, while you let your insecurities deceive you, pretending to want to help you, when in the end, their true intention was to drag you down, make you act in stupidity.

When you looked up again, he was already gone. You walked towards the door, despair hitting you hard, stealing the air that should be going inside your lungs and out. Your eyes rapidly caught Neteyam's silhouette walking fast towards the open forest. He would always go there to unwind a bit, to organize his thoughts when everything felt like too much.

You could only hope and pray to the Great Mother that when he came back, he would forgive you for how you had been acting lately, for not trusting him, for being paranoid. You hoped he would give you a second chance to make it right. You tried to calm down, to breathe. You waited for him.

After walking for some time, Neteyam was now sitting on a tree branch. That same tree stood really tall. It was the perfect place to hide and not be bothered.

Hot tears silently rolled down his face. He was the Olo'eyktan, he could not let anyone see him cry in the middle of the forest, late at night, so he camouflaged, up high in that huge tree.

Neteyam's strong heart now felt fragile. He felt weak. Almost nobody could break him. He learned to be the toughest he could be just so he could take the heavy position of Olo'eyktan, leading his clan. Many envied him, but, what they didn't realize was that the "crown" he wore weighed more than it shone.

He loved to be the leader of his people but that didn't mean it was not hard to try and not crumble, even on the face of such complicated matters he had to solve, even facing life threatening danger really often, to be the Omatikaya people protector, ready to fight and give his life up to keep everyone safe and sound.

He didn't have the luxury to put himself in first place.

But he was thankful for his mate. His safe haven used to be you. But you became darker with time, harder to deal with. He missed who you were in the beginning. That fresh, bubbly, sweet girl he fell in love with. All he wanted was her back in his arms. Sometimes, he did not recognize you anymore.

Neteyam started to hear intense, irregular sounds of brittle leaves breaking. Someone was running through the forest he was in, getting closer and closer to where he was. He was in a full vigilance state now. But it soon changed.

It was you. You were now standing next to the tree he was sitting on. He looked down at your slender body that, from so afar, looked utterly small.

"Neteyam!" You shouted, looking up at your mate. The frail eclipse light that came through the leaves made his bioluminescent freckles shine so bright, just like many tiny fireflies settled on his dark blue, perfect skin. "I'm so sorry! Please! Can we talk?!" You looked at him, pleading

Neteyam immediately gave in. Of course he wanted to talk to you. To hear you say "forgive me". To accept you back inside his arms. He loved you ardently. All he wanted and needed was you.

He signaled he was going to get off the tree, and, so did he.

When he got to the floor, you ran to him like he was air and you were almost drowning.

"I'm so, so, so sorry, my yawne!" (beloved)

"Shhhh... it's okay." Neteyam cooed, trying to comfort you. He held you tight in his arms, your skin glued to his warm, comfortable body. "We'll make it through. I love you, yawntu." (loved one) "Forever."

Your mate took your face on his big hands and, seeing you were crying, inconsolable, he just crushed his lips on yours and kissed your pain and angst away.

"Oel ngati kameie." (I see you) "I never stopped seeing who you truly are. On our darkest moments, I still remembered." Neteyam reassured you, his face serene and full of a burning kind of love, only and exclusively for you.

You understood. You finally understood.

You did not need to be insecure. Nothing could ever tear the both of you apart. Not even death. You could finally rest your head down on your mat and sleep peacefully.

જ★

I'm tagging you @yeosxxx bc u asked to be tagged in all my works and I'm SO sorry for almost forgetting to tag u 🥲 my memory sucks

[wannab-urs]

Something in the Orange

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC!Sonya 

Summary: Something in the orange tells me you’re never coming home. 

Warnings: Sonya is Sarah’s mom, bittersweet ending - we all know Sarah’s mom wasn’t there in the game/show okay? Symptoms of Postpartum Depression, not diagnosed or treated. Joel calls her Sunny, Sonya does not want to be a mom, ANGST, smut but it’s in the past, mentions of separation and divorce, excessive drinking, intervention moment, song fic kind of? WC: 3.7k

A/N: I can’t believe I not only had a Joel idea, but then actually wrote it. Thanks to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and @atinylittlepain for listening to me scream about it all day and screaming back at me. And thanks to @dancingtotuyo/@catchallfangirl for editing for me <3. Fic based largely on the song by the same name.

Joel Miller Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

It'll be fine by dusk light I'm telling you, baby These things eat at your bones and drive your young mind crazy But when you place your head between my collar and jaw I don't know much but there's no weight at all

Sonya is curled up in bed, on top of the comforter, trying not to fall asleep before Joel gets home. He’s been pulling double shifts at the factory to pay for all the expenses of having a baby. A baby she didn’t want. 

Well that’s not quite true. A baby she didn’t plan on having, that she had fallen in love with the idea of and decided to keep. She had been excited to be a mom, if a bit terrified, but who wasn’t? She thought that with Joel by her side, they could do anything. But having a baby has caused her nothing but grief.

She knows she’s supposed to love her child  more than anything on the planet and that makes her feel broken, like she’s failing at this woman thing, this mother thing. She cares for Sarah, of course she loves her, cherishes her, or whatever. She does her duties as a mother and it fucking sucks. She just wants to go back to how it used to be with Joel, before the baby. Before he started pulling double shifts. Before she was nothing more than a wife and mother.

She hears the front door open, the shuffle of Joel taking off his boots by the door, the clatter of him in the kitchen, heating up the plate of food you left for him. You lie in bed and listen to him clean his plate and put it in the sink – not the dishwasher – and you sigh. 

He goes in to check on Sarah before he comes to your room, and you feel a bit jealous. You used to be the first person he kissed when he got home. You used to have dinner together every night. He used to come home and dance with you, make love to you, spend real time with you. But now, he comes home and eats and goes to bed. And it’s all because of her. For her. 

Sarah, despite only getting to see him at the occasional midnight feeding and on weekends, has taken to him wonderfully. What she’s really jealous of is how easy it is for Joel to love Sarah. He doesn’t seem to mind getting up after a 16 hour shift to feed her or change her diaper while she feels put upon every time she has to stop cleaning or cooking or watching tv to care for her. He’s all smiles any time they’re in a room together while she wears a permanently exhausted expression. 

And Sonya doesn’t get any of those smiles from him anymore. Only his brows pinched in the middle, furrowing over his eyes, an exasperated “Sunny, I can’t,” when she begs him to come home early and help with the dishes, help take care of their daughter. “I’m helping the only way I know how, Sunny. I’m making sure we can pay our bills and give Sarah the best life she can have.”

“What about my life? What about me?”

“You’re her mother, Sonya. She is your life now. Or she should be.”

That had been a nasty fight. He practically accused her of not caring about Sarah. And that just wasn’t true. She may not feel that bone deep motherly love she’s supposed to feel, but she does love Sarah. She is so beautiful. She has Joel’s eyes and her nose, Joel’s smile and her hair. She’s a perfect little combination of both of them, and she knows she should feel more strongly for her. It’s like there’s a wall built up around her heart that won’t let Sarah all the way in. Unfortunately, it won’t let Joel in either. 

Joel comes in and sits on the bed. You sit up beside him, legs dangling over the edge.

“I can’t, Joel. I can’t do it anymore.” 

“Can’t what?”

“Be stuck in this house all day taking care of a helpless child and cooking and cleaning for a man who’s never even here anymore.”

“It’ll all be fine in the mornin’, Sunshine. Just a rough night.”

“It’s not just tonight, Joel. Why don’t you ever listen to me? I wasn’t meant for this. I don’t know how to be a mom or a housewife.”

Joel pulls her legs over his lap from where they’re dangling off the bed. He tucks her face into his neck and runs a soothing hand over her back. 

“I am listenin’, baby. I don’t know how to be a dad anymore than you know how to be a mom. But we’re figuring it out together, huh? I know you’re scared, but I’m right here with you. Ain’t goin’ nowhere without you, pretty girl.”

He doesn’t get it – could never get it. It’s not being a mother that scares her, it’s being trapped. She can’t escape the housework and the baby needing all her attention all the time. Joel can’t go back to working one shift a day unless they want to lose the house, but she can’t stand being apart from him for so many hours of the day.

“No, Joel, I can’t do it. I can’t,” she’s crying now. 

She’d never wanted kids. Never wanted to be a stay at home mom. Going anywhere with a six month old baby is a nightmare. She’s practically entombed in this house. 

She sobs into Joel’s neck, her own tears and snot smearing on his skin and back onto hers. She doesn’t want to leave him. Not when he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her. She loves him so much, but it doesn’t feel like that love is enough to keep her tied down as she is. 

The separation and the stress of a new baby is driving a wedge between them, a cavern so wide she could never cross it. She thinks back to three summers ago. She was newly graduated from high school, Joel having graduated the year before, and they decided to drive out to the lake and celebrate. She sat in the passenger seat, bare feet on the dash, backseat stacked with blankets and pillows and a cooler full of beer. 

They swam all day and then in the evening, she read a book while Joel cooked burgers on the camp stove. They ate and talked and laughed and kissed. When the sun started to go down, they filled the truck bed with the blankets and pillows and laid down to watch the sunset. Joel had kissed her fiercely as the sun dipped below the horizon. He slid his big palms under her shirt and tossed it to the side. She had kissed down his neck while they both scrambled to get undressed. He was inside her before she even had her jeans kicked off her legs, whispering in her ear about how beautiful she was, how good she felt. He kissed her as hard as he could as he dropped a hand to her clit, driving her closer to coming. His tongue tangled with hers as she came with a cry he smothered with his lips, swallowing it down his throat and muffling his own groan as he came inside her. She loved him more than anything in the world at that moment. 

He had been everything to her. He was still everything to her. And now Sarah was supposed to be everything to them. But where did that leave them with each other? They were stupid kids, in love with each other and with life. She never expected that having a child with him would ruin everything. She doesn’t want to leave him, she really doesn’t. She’s terrified of being without him. 

“I have to go, Joel.” 

“Let's talk about it tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” 

She curls up on the bed, Joel folded around her in that perfect way he fits with her, and cries herself to sleep while he snores in her ear. 

Sarah starts crying at about 2 am and Joel gets up to feed her. She hears him talking softly to her and her heart cracks. This is going to be the hardest thing she’s ever done.

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't 'Cause if I say I miss you I know that you won't But I miss you in the mornings when I see the sun Something in the orange tells me we're not done

Joel wakes up in his bed alone. Her side is cold and untouched except for the pillow, which he managed to bury his face in as he slept. It still faintly smells of her shampoo. He misses her so desperately he can’t breathe. It’s like her absence ripped a hole in his lungs and he’s been trying to patch it ever since. 

He thinks about calling her, but he knows it would backfire. If he calls her and says he misses her, it will push her further away. If he doesn’t call her, she’ll never know how much he misses her. But she also won’t know he’s failing. That he doesn’t think he can do this without her. And she won’t know that he’s waiting patiently for her to come back. 

Sarah cries from the other room, and he drags himself out of bed to take care of her and get her ready for the day. He tries to smile down at his tiny daughter in the crib he built himself, but he can’t form the shape with his lips, can’t dredge up enough happiness to even fake it. 

“Okay, Sarah. You’re okay baby girl. Let’s get you changed, yeah?” 

Joel picks her up and carries her over to the changing table. He explains what he’s doing as he changes her diaper and gets her dressed for the day. He puts her in a striped onesie and matching striped leggings. He carries her out to the kitchen and places her in her high chair. 

“What do we want to eat this morning, huh? Bananas or sweet potatoes?” He holds each jar out to her and she waggles her left arm in the air. “Bananas it is.” 

He straps a bib around her before he feeds her breakfast. “Can’t believe you’re already eating baby food. It’s like you grew up on me overnight, darlin’.”

After she eats, he leaves her in the high chair while he tries to clean the kitchen. She gets upset before he can even finish the dishes. He goes over to pick her up, gently cradling her head against his shoulder. She hiccups, spitting up all over his shirt and her own. 

Joel sighs and goes to change her, stripping off his shirt and tossing it toward the washing machine. He gets her into a whole new outfit, replaces his shirt with a clean one, and packs a diaper bag. He feels a pang of sadness at Sunny not being there. He doesn’t know how to be a dad by himself. Should he wait to dress Sarah until after she’s eaten? Sunny always handled the mornings on weekends, since he worked so late. She would know what to do.

“Alright little lady, it’s you and me. We’re getting groceries today, doesn’t that sound fun?”

Joel feels like an idiot talking aloud to someone who can’t answer him back, but he read that talking to your baby is good for them and he’s going a little crazy alone in this house. His mom calls just as he’s about to walk out of the door. She offers to watch Sarah while he runs errands. 

“I got it, Ma. We’ll be just fine.”

Accepting help feels like failing.

The grocery store is a nightmare. Sarah’s car seat makes the cart difficult to push. He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to buy, throwing random cans into the cart that look edible. An old lady approaches him as he looks at the terrifying wall of diapers. He has no idea which ones Sunny usually bought. 

“Oh is daddy babysitting his little girl today?”

Joel bristles. No. He is not babysitting his own goddamn daughter.

“Yes ma’am,” he grits through a forced smile, like he’s baring his teeth. 

“She’s a beautiful little girl. Good on you for giving Mama a break.”

Joel nods and keeps his forced smile up as he grabs the nearest package of diapers and quickly leaves the aisle. Is it really so obvious he doesn’t know what he’s doing? Can everyone see he’s only faking it, that he’s clueless?

Sarah starts crying, and he tries to soothe her by rocking the car seat in the cart. It doesn’t work even a little bit, so he goes through his mental checklist – she’s been fed, it’s not naptime, it’s not too loud or scary in here. He picks her up out of the car seat and notices her drooping diaper and the worst smell that has ever hit his nostrils. She needs to be changed. Great. 

He sets her back in the car seat and buckles her in, takes the cart over to the bathroom, carries her inside the men’s bathroom and… there’s no changing table. He checks all the stalls just to be sure. He can’t use the women’s restroom. He huffs in frustration and takes Sarah out to the truck to change her. He left the cart of groceries by the bathroom, but fuck it he can try again tomorrow. He changes Sarah’s diaper in the backseat of the truck and straps her back into the car seat, now safely secured to the seat.

She still hasn’t stopped crying. He makes sure she’s strapped in well and then just sits in his front seat for a while. He can feel his frustration building up. If Sunny were here, it would be so much easier. He bets there’s a changing table in the women’s restroom. He bets single mothers don’t get asked if they’re babysitting their own damn kid. The world isn’t accustomed to single dads, not built for them. 

And fuck he doesn’t want to be a single dad. He wants Sonya with him, with Sarah. He wants to struggle through the hard shit with her and come out the other side stronger than ever. But that’s just not in the cards for him. He decides to let his mom watch Sarah tomorrow while he goes to the grocery store alone. And it feels like a failure. It feels like he fucked up again. He can’t do something as simple as get groceries, something Sunny did dozens of times. 

Shortly after he pulls into the driveway, another car pulls in behind him. He warily approaches the stranger who gets out with a packet in his hand. 

“Joel Miller?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Are you or are you not Joel Miller?”

“I am. What’s this about?”

“You’re being served divorce papers.”

Joel’s stomach drops as bile rises in his throat. Divorce. He had thought, this whole week, that she’d snap out of it and come home. But this? Ending their marriage? That’s a permanent separation. Something tells him, in that moment, that she is never coming back home to them. 

He somehow makes it inside with Sarah, setting her car seat gently on the ground before he collapses. He sobs for a while, grieving the loss of everything they’d had together.

When they first bought this house, they were both barely over the age of 20. Her parents had loaned them the down payment. It was in a good neighborhood, a good school district. Probably well out of their price range, but they were gonna make it work. 

The day they moved in, they had nothing but a mattress and some blankets and pillows. They had laid it in the living room, right where he lies now. They ordered Thai food and ate it on the floor and then they curled up together on the mattress. He’d taken her slow and easy that night, savoring the feeling of her wrapped around him. He’s pretty sure that’s the night they made Sarah. 

Joel has to call her, has to hear it from her, and not some random courier her law firm hired. But she doesn’t answer and it goes to voicemail. He begs for her to come back. That this is too hard for him all alone.

Sarah starts crying, needing to be let out of her car seat. Joel hangs up and leans over to grab her. He holds her as tightly to his chest as he can without hurting her. 

“I love you, babygirl.”

To you I'm just a man, to me you're all I am Where the hell am I supposed to go? I poisoned myself again Something in the orange tells me you're never coming home

Sonya drops her bags by the door and heads into the living room. The red light on her answering machine flashes, showing she has a message. 

Sonya had a wonderful day – she went to the farmer’s market, met up with friends for lunch, checked out some bookstores and little shops. She’s afraid to listen to the message, afraid it will be him. 

She presses the button and listens to it play. 

“Sunny, baby. I need you. I can’t do this by myself,” his voice breaks. He sniffles a bit. “If you don’t call back I’ll… I’ll sign em. If that’s what you want. Fuck. I never thought I’d have to do it without you, Sunshine. Thought we were it. I miss you so fuckin’ much. I love you. Always will.”

She hears Sarah crying in the background and starts crying. She slumps onto her couch and lets the tears fall. She feels so incredibly guilty. Not for leaving, no. That was the best decision she could have made. She feels guilty because she’s relieved. Relieved she doesn’t have to cater to the whims of an infant all day, that she could afford to buy herself a coffee, despite only working as a receptionist. She feels guilty for leaving Joel to fend for himself. 

But she won’t let his sweet message and her gnawing guilt stop her from living a life she can be happy in.

Joel stumbles into the house, less than a drink away from piss drunk. Sarah is at his mom’s for the night, as she is more often than not now. God the house feels so empty without her. There’s no meal waiting for him in the fridge, no Sarah to kiss goodnight, and no Sunny to cuddle up with in bed after a long day. He faceplants in his empty bed and cries himself to sleep.

She used to dance with him in the living room. He’d come home from work and she’d be dancing by herself in the kitchen to Etta James and he’d wrap his arms around her and kiss her like it was gonna be the last time. He’d drag her into the living room and slow dance with her until a timer went off in the kitchen or she could smell the food burning. 

He wakes in the morning with a hangover and a stinging ache in his chest. He gets ready for work and comes out of the bathroom to find his mom and brother standing in his living room, Sarah cradled carefully in Tommy’s arms. 

“Joel, we need to speak with you.”

“I have wo–”

“We’ve already talked to your boss, you have the day off.”

And Joel supposes he should have seen this coming. He’s been in nothing but a downward spiral for weeks. His family sits him down on his couch.

“You’re missing your daughter growing up Joel. If you’re not careful you’ll miss her first words, her first steps. You’re going to drink yourself into an early grave at this point.” 

“I know.” Joel looks at Sarah sitting peacefully in Tommy’s arms and regrets the time he’s missed with her already. She seems bigger, closer to sitting up by herself, probably getting close to a whole bunch of milestones. Sonya is going to miss every single one of them, and he really doesn’t know what to do about that. 

“I know it’s hard, but we’re here for you, we will help you,” his mama reassures him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

All he can do is be the best he can be for his little girl. 

He decides to sell the house and most of the furniture and move into a two bed apartment with Sarah. Standing in the empty house he bought with Sunny, picked out furniture for with Sunny, it finally all feels real. She is gone forever and no amount of whiskey will make her come back. No amount of wallowing in self pity will make her change her mind. 

Moving to the apartment is a total gamechanger. Sure, the kitchen is tiny and cramped and the two bedrooms combined are smaller than the master suite at the house. But it’s enough for him and his baby girl. 

He quits his job at the factory and starts working construction, freeing up his evenings to be with Sarah. Sometimes he has to work weekends, but his mom is happy to see Sarah, now that he’s not staying out all hours of the night. He has Sarah every night now and watching her grow is the most beautiful thing he’s ever witnessed

One night, after he’s gotten Sarah bathed and in bed, his phone rings. The caller ID shows Sunny’s name. He wants so badly to answer it. He looks at the phone until it stops ringing and his answering machine picks it up. 

“Hey, um. Call me when you get this?”

He nearly gives in, nearly rips the phone off the receiver and tells her he’ll welcome her back with open arms. But he looks around at his tiny apartment filled with baby toys and furniture he picked out all by himself, and he doesn’t see a place in his life for her anymore. 

He knows he can’t allow her back into his life now when she could so easily tear down all the hard work he’s done on himself, on being a dad, on being a better man in general. 

He loves her and he always will, but it’s too late for them. 

[beanghostprincess]

headcanon that actually sanji's eyes are each of a different color (like, blue and soft brown kind of very yellowish. heterochromia is beautiful like that) and after the time skip, when he changes his hairstyle, nobody actually notices because after 2 years of not seeing each other of course they wouldn't remember his eye color. and he actually prefers it this way because he can't deal with them laughing about it now.

but then, one night, when usopp and him are on night guard together for the first time in ages (they're both pining idiots and lost the chance to confess when sabaody happened) usopp won't stop staring at him, focused on his eye, specifically. sanji takes a drag of his cigarette and he feels himself getting more nervous by the second. "is the smoke bothering you or-"

"no!" usopp replies a bit too fast, blushing and instantly bringing his hand to the back of his neck, looking around to avoid sanji's face for a while. "i was just thinking..." he takes a deep breath, and goes back to looking at sanji. the cook won't stop thinking about how long the sniper's hair is and the way it gently falls over his shoulders as he speaks. he doesn't even notice usopp's lovesick stare when he speaks. "your eyes. i liked the blue one. reminds me of the sea."

sanji's heartbeat stops for a second there, and he almost chokes on the smoke but covers it with a dry laugh. "so this one isn't pretty enough for your liking, then?" he tries to sound sarcastic and prays for usopp not to notice the way his voice falters with fear.

usopp's eyes are wide open. "of course it is! it's- it's pretty. really... pretty." the sniper feels his body shaking as he tries to fix what he said. they're both acting stupid, blushing and trying not to seem too focused on the other. but it's not like neither of them can hold back from staring at each other. silence comes, and somehow usopp has the courage to smile. "it's just like sand. or gold."

"that's the best metaphor you can come up with, longnose?" he says this as if he wasn't on the verge of tears.

the sniper shrugs his shoulders. "why would you cover one? together they'd be, you know, like the beach. sand, gold, the sea... it's- um- cool."

sanji raises his eyebrow at that, and scoffs as he takes another drag of his cigarette. he doesn't want to finish it that early, or he won't have anything to do with his hands later. "i wouldn't hear the end of it if i did."

"but they're beautiful!" usopp insists. they've been sitting closer and closer.

beautiful.

something inside of sanji breaks after hearing that word, looking up at the night sky for a moment with a bittersweet smile. "well, men aren't supposed to be be-"

"why not?" that catches him off guard. usopp's decisive eyes meet his. the sniper's hand is shaking, but he still makes an effort to touch sanji's hair ever so slightly, thinking twice about it. their faces are so close sanji refuses to smoke in case he burns usopp. "can i?"

sanji looks around for a few seconds, and thinks about refusing. about denying him the chance to see his face completely. to witness what he truly looks like. but he nods, anyway. "you tell somebody about this and i murder you. they haven't noticed yet."

usopp hums at that, a tiny, excited smile showing up on his lips. "because they don't pay attention to you. only an idiot wouldn't be able to notice."

"maybe you pay too much attention to me." and it kind of sounds like 'i don't deserve that you do'.

but usopp finally moves his hair to the side, and the way his breathing twitches says 'you deserve everything. you're everything' and the sniper kind of hopes he hears it. usopp takes a deep breath, letting his other hand travel to sanji's face so he can hold it better. the cook grabs him by the wrist but keeps it there.

they're both shaking.

sanji lets out an embarrassed laugh, something that usopp has never heard coming from him. "not that cool when you see both at the same time, huh? the eyebrows are also-"

"you're gorgeous."

before any of them can panic at usopp's sudden comment, sanji's grip on his wrist tightens. usopp notices, looking down at his lips for a second, going back at his eyes again.

they keep looking at each other for a while, realizing that usopp is kind of almost on top of sanji at this point, and that neither of them wants the other to move away. they just want- need each other closer.

sanji is so overwhelmed by his words he isn't sure of what to say, so he just slides his hand to grab usopp's tightly. beautiful. gorgeous. it's breaking him. it's too much. and yet, he wants more.

"can you- say it again?"

"you're beautiful." he breathes out. "gorgeous. the prettiest person i've ever-"

"oh, shut up!" sanji can't help but laugh at the exaggeration, but usopp is completely serious.

oh, fuck, he's being completely serious. because the sniper is now too close to him, and he isn't smiling anymore. "can i draw you someday?"

and perhaps it's the butt of the cigarette burning his fingertips, but he feels brave enough to lean into usopp. "can you kiss me first?" and it comes out instinctively.

the way the sniper jumps a bit, surprised at his words is endearing enough for the cook to smile right away. "what? yes? yes. of course. yes. yea-"

it's sanji who kisses him.

and he thinks, while all the ashes fall completely on the deck, that he'll keep covering one of his eyes. not because he doesn't think they're beautiful enough to be seen. not because he's ashamed.

he just doesn't want usopp to get used to them. he wants him to draw him and kiss him and hold him like this forever, every time he sees both of his eyes and eyebrows, like the first time. forever. and besides, the sniper is right. the others didn't even notice. perhaps they will after a few more days of being together, but for now?

maybe sanji really, really likes the fact that usopp is the only one that pays this much attention to him.

[athousandbyeol]

happiness and acceptance, old grief, fear, vulnerability and the need to belong; episode 7 recap

oh, wow. this episode is so bittersweet. it's so beautiful and pretty and kind and gentle, but so realistic and painful and jarring and quiet.

i think by far, this is one of my favourite episodes. it's such a surprise to me—i think we're finally seeing and hearing and experiencing jiang tian's inner voice for the first time—upfront. it's no longer hiding away with the shadow under his feet. it's evident. but still so very shy and afraid. but it's there. and it's waiting for the right time to come out.

i have to say, this episode makes me realise that trauma runs deep and long and everlasting. i don't think it could ever go away. and I see that in jiang tian. i see how that trauma has shaped him to be who he is—so closed-off and fragile and fearful—but still so gentle and loving and appreciative and attentive.

there's something in the way benjamin is as an actor—i can't compliment him enough. it's difficult to pull off these intricate yet believable facial expressions without being cringey or over-the-top. but he did everything with poise and grace and so much attention to detail that I'm just in utter shock and awe.

happiness and acceptance

something about this sequence... i can't really put my thoughts into words. but the way jiang tian's face morphs from happiness to awe to acceptance? probably, a thought crosses his mind; I'm happy now. finally, I'm happy with someone who makes me the happiest.

the smile he wears when he's looking at sheng wang is of gratitude. and relief. and it's so bittersweet to me how it took him 16/17 years to finally have a morsel of this happiness. he truly deserves this and more :(

old grief

honestly... would anyone ever believe that these pictures come after those stills mentioned before? i wouldn't. because how on earth did the sparkle in jiang tian's eyes disappear—and how did the old gloom of grief suddenly became too blinding? (benjamin tsang, THE actor you are.)

there's so much grief and unwanted old memories and the bitterness of remembering those recollections that were very haunting and hollowing and suffocating.

i can't even imagine the pain jiang tian went through as a child—to witness the infidelity of his father—to see his mother breaking her bones and wearing fake smiles just to make ends meet—to find refuge in a stray cat because finally, someone could understand him. could understand the loneliness. could feel the sadness coursing in his bloodstream. could feel everything he was feeling. and it's so heartbreaking.

fear

jiang tian's fear is so quiet. it's so distant. it's so elusive. but it's there. and it's growing. it has never stopped growing. even though jiang tian tried to push it away, it would still crawl back to him, like a second skin.

and it's daunting how there's a new fear unlocked in him; losing sheng wang. losing the shine. losing the happiness. losing the tranquillity sheng wang brings upon him. losing his light—his sun.

i think jiang tian was so scared of qi jiahao or di zhaitao hurting sheng wang again. because he didn't want sheng wang to experience that again—to fight alone—to be afraid alone.

but once jiang tian found sheng wang, the fear subsided. it's a relief. and it's the usual anger. but not the destructive kind. this time, it means i care. it means i'm so worried. it means don't ever do that again. it means don't ever leave me.

vulnerability

it's so mental to me how this episode finally brings forward jiang tian's feeling to the spotlight. we could see him slowly becoming more open, especially with sheng wang.

it hurts me so much when jiang tian could only look at sheng wang tying the bracelet around his wrist. he didn't say anything. he was just looking. because jiang tian didn't know what to say. he didn't know if words could ever describe how much this moment meant to him—how sheng wang meant to him.

so he could only watch. he has always been watching sheng wang from a distance. but this time, he could watch sheng wang from a distance close enough to be assured that sheng wang won't stray too far from his orbit. sheng wang would be there—here. and jiang tian would finally meet him halfway.

"suddenly i feel that you're about my age."

sheng wang was coming for my life when he said this. it felt like a sucker punch straight in the face. Lord.

it's so heartbreaking because i do understand the meaning behind sheng wang's comment. i guess, even to sheng wang, jiang tian felt like someone older—a brother, a father, a friend, a protector, a saviour.

it feels nice to hear sheng wang saying this to jiang tian. it's assuring too. somehow, it's a reminder to jiang tian that he's still young. he doesn't have to grow up before the right age. he doesn't have to be an adult between them. he doesn't have to carry the burden alone. jiang tian doesn't have to do all these alone. he has sheng wang now. they can be kids or grown-ups or whatever—together.

(my heart was twisting and turning in my chest when I watched this... and I ended up crying...)

a sense of belonging

these stills are enough to explain the depth of their budding relationship. the reliance. the trust. the love. so much love and respect and desire and need and greed to be each other's protectors.

sheng wang just said everything i hoped he said at one point in this story. and I'm so glad that his words were so true and honest and beautiful.

"for everything you did to me, i'll do the same for you. I'll be here, with and for you."

i adore how both of them are brave to take the next step together. and I like how sheng wang was the one suggesting this move-in. i think it's so important for his character because he has always been beating around the bush—he has always made jiang tian guess what he wanted. but this moment right here, he was being straightforward and resolute and firm.

move in with me. it'll be only us there. it'll be our own little world. it can be your world. and your world is my world.

and the way jiang tian was looking at sheng wang with so much hope and relief and happiness and gratitude............ i'm bawling :(((

final thoughts

i absolutely adore this episode because i feel like it's a reset for the second half of the series. it feels more intimate, in a sense that we're finally getting into jiang tian's backstory (that will definitely kill me in future episodes) and the beautiful transformation of their love story. it's so bittersweet and I can't help but sympathise with jiang tian and sheng wang.

i'm certain the next episodes won't be rainbows and sunshine, but it also won't be only rain clouds and thunderstorms. I'm just so, so glad that episode seven, the second portion of the drama, started off with something very vulnerable but honest and relatable. it reminds me of how we witnessed sheng wang's backstory in the first episode and the first chunk of the series.

i'm most definitely anticipating tomorrow's episode. i hope it won't make cry the way it did in this one.

(also, shout out to my best boy gao tianyang! don't worry, love. li jia will definitely fall for you <3)