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I have very complicated feelings for the Vengeance Saga (after the first listen)
Disclaimer: I will only criticize Epic the Vengeance Saga as a work on its own, not for its inaccuracy or deviation from mythology and The Odyssey. There are more knowledgable people who can point out and analyze the changes in Epic the Musical, but that is not what I'll be tackling here.
To put it bluntly, I'm not being angsty about it as I should. The whole saga just... didn't feel right with me.
Now, first off all, I'm a big fan of Epic and had been following it since the Cyclops saga (first version). I've been in love with many songs and hyperfixed it for months on end. But when the Vengeance saga came along, I didn't feel that same bubbling love rise in me.
Even as a fan, this isn't my first time having peeves with Epic. I didn't jam with the re-release sagas for a while, I'm underwhelmed with the Circe VS Odysseus fight and other issues, very unpopular opinion but "Monster" wasn't too impactful to me, and also the God Games (especially Zeus' attack).
The Vengeance Saga though? Well, they say we gotta do the Bun-Meat-Bun (or whatever the hell its name really is) technique when giving criticism, so I'll start with the good parts.
I love that Odysseus looked so done with Calypso in "Not Sorry For Loving You". They're basically this meme:
Like sorry you're a sad but you're still an abuser 😒
Then Odysseus starts singing the reprise for "Full Speed Ahead" but there's no one to back him up. That one hits me hard. To whoever on Tumblr said that after the Thunder Saga we will never hear the crew's back-up again and Odysseus' singing will be answered with silence, Apollo really blessed you with the red ball.
Hermes and the Winions' part was really cool too! I really like them being mischievous helper! The warning about the wind bag and the changing scene of Odysseus fighting off sea monsters while Hermes just vibing with the beats is 👌👌👌
But after that the hype started to sizzle out for me. You might want to skip this part if you're not comfortable with harsh criticism because I WON'T hold back.
It's really backward but I like the Odysseus VS Charybdis draft more than the final production. Charybdis' roars and music are somehow less intimidating, which is a shame because I thought this would be one of the biggest struggles Odysseus will face. Even with awesome illustrative animatics, the scene wasn't as thrilling as I've expected.
The other songs got massive improvement from its draft version (on top of my mind I can think of "Thunder Bringer", "There Are Other Ways", "Little Wolf"), but I don't get why "Charybdis" didn't get up-graded as much like them. It's like a cake that was throughly baked but half decorated and it just didn't taste as good as I've hoped.
Then we have the Odysseus VS Poseidon part in "Get In The Water" and "Six Hundred Strikes". The first thought I had for GITW is this song sounds like all the draft snippets were mashed together without a smooth transition/connection between them. Jorge and Steven's performance is great, but there's not enough tension for me to dread for Odysseus. When Poseidon first met Odysseus in "Ruthlessness", the whole opening was terrifyingly good! And we didn't even have any illustration animatic back then! (that's not to say the GITW animatics were bad, they just can't salvage much when the song itself was already weak)
I wasn't impressed with Poseidon's Shatter The Ocean move either. It's supposed to be the Strongest AttackTM but it's less scary than when he and the Laestrygonians destroyed Odysseus' eleven ships with probably 1% of their power. It didn't even help when Poseidon looked like he's having a seizure with lights pouring out of his eyes and mouth during the transformation.
Odysseus being literally on the brink of death with the souls of his loved ones pulling him into the abyss is a gem in the rough, but because we've seen Odysseus almost drowning before in the end of the Thunder Saga, it's not as shocking as it should be. Furthermore, Poseidon could have instant-killed Odysseus right then and there but didn't really annoyed me. But I guess he just wanted Odysseus to slowly suffer while dying.
Right when I thought the progress will get better, it... gets down. I can go with Odysseus using wind to escape the water, but him wearing it like a jetpack is so comical it ruined the drastic of the situation. And I'm officially let down when Odysseus FUCKING ATTACKED Poseidon in "Six Hundred Strike".
What? Just... why with that choice?
Look, I'm not gonna fault Epic for making creative liberties from the source material (as said in the disclaimer), but I will criticize if that change contradict itself in the transformative work. And this is one of them.
Poseidon and the gods have been proven time and time again in the musical just how powerful they are. Their ominous and grandiose entrances, them striking fear and inferiority in our hearts just by singing. Even Circe, a low-level goddess, poses a constant threat to the crew and Odysseus had to get help from Hermes just to get a chance to corner her (and Hermes even joked that he can still die!)
Poseidon easily destroyed almost all of Odysseus' fleet. Odysseus was very avoidant of him, opting to go to the literal Underworld to find instruction on how to dodge him and sailing through Scylla's lair + willing to sacrifice six men for safe passage. And when Poseidon said he can drown all of Ithaca, it's not just bluffing, he would and could have done that. Yeah, the King of the Sea is THAT BIG of a treat.
So no, Odysseus isn't cool to attack Poseidon, he's being stupid. I'm not even cheering for him the whole him he fight, just groaning at how ridiculous the whole thing is. If Epic is more believable and sticks to WHAT IT HAD ESTABLISHED BEFORE, having a sudden burst of anger and choosing ruthlessness won't save Odysseus from one swipe of Poseidon's trident. Odysseus stood no chance against a one of the most powerful deity, even if he's the protagonist and love his family.
Not only that, Poseidon didn't even defend himself and was wounded by a mere human! And he just sat there and took all the blows and insults from Odysseus??? And he actually begged Odysseus to stop and agree to quell the storm to let him get home??? I'm not buy that bullshit. I'm more upset that a literal Olympian god was nerfed down than Odysseus having a Gary Stu moment. Give me a break, that try-hard moment to be cool and edgy just show how badly written the scene is.
What's the fucking point of hyping up how dangerous the gods are if a human can take one down? Tell me this isn't some Wattpad-y Greek myth retelling fanfic where the teenage Y/N sass her way to defeat an entire pantheon. Epic really traded its opportunity to be better for some cheap and out-of-the-blue dramas in this saga, dare I say it's even worse than Zeus' OOC attack on Athena. I'm very disappointed with that decision.
On an end note, the saga did have one saving point with the "After everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?" - "Next to my wife" lines. Odysseus knew he could be the most horrendous man ever and Penelope would still choose his side, that just show how powerful their love and faith in each other are.
But not enough to excuse all the terrible cinematic choices.
#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#jorge rivera herrans#song analysis#song review#my reviews#my ramblings#Spotify#Youtube#The Pen explodes with ink#after being let down with Zeus and Poseidon's OOC thing#i now have lower hopes for the Ithaca Saga#i guess at least there aren't any more “evil gods” to be ruined#let's just see how it goes#but seriously what's happening to Epic??? it was so good until Love in Paradise#and i feel like the musical is now on a downward slope#am i expecting too much?!
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No but listen. Abed sees Britta as "Britta Bot" while everyone else describes him as cold and robotic. People assume that his problem is being distant and lacking empathy, but that's Britta! We see it every time that Abed has a breakdown, she stops treating him as an individual and instead defaults to what she thinks is the appropriate response. It's all therapy talk with no understanding of who Abed is as a person or what would actually help him, because as soon as he starts displaying symptoms he stops being her friend and becomes a person she must help by picking the correct responses out of her psych textbook.
I am not saying this out of hate for Britta! I love Britta! I just think it's really interesting that one of the things she struggles with most throughout the series is her inability to be empathetic, and no one sees it but Abed. Her focus on political correctness and activism seems emotional, but it's more often about her wanting to do The Right Thing (which she sees as a monolith) than her actually feeling invested in helping individual people.
What's especially interesting is that Abed characterizes her weakness as "no faith in herself or friends," which implies that one reason she's so focused on doing the correct thing is that she doesn't trust her genuine responses to help anybody. She's afraid of making things worse, so she goes with what she's been told she should do in high stakes situations (like her friend hallucinating stop motion dolls or lava floors). In season one especially she always baby-talks to Abed, because her brother works with autistic kids so that's how she thinks you talk to autistic people. She's trying so hard to be accommodating, but it's from a perspective of "I know The Correct Way To Talk To Autistic People" rather than "let me learn how to best connect with this person." It could be called robotic, following her memorized paths for interactions even when they're clearly hurting people she cares about.
Then there's Abed, who does have some troubles with empathy which often show up when he manipulates people around him in order to achieve his goals, (ex: "Introduction to Film," "Contemporary American Poultry," "Anthropology 101"), and is always seen as cold and distant, safely removed from thr situation. He leans into that intentionally, acting as though he's "not in this scene" or giving logical trope-based reasons to avoid facing his fears (like when Troy wants to move in with him and Abed calls it "jumping the shark"), but deep down he's incredibly emotional. He's the one who willingly risks his life in "Epidemiology," he and Troy give up their bedroom for Annie, he lets his friends matchmake for him because he knows it's important to them.
Even when he is being all supposedly logical, it's often because he doesn't want to acknowledge his own feelings and feels safer acting as though sitcom tropes are the only thing making him act that way. In the argument about living together, Troy was right that they could just not put a line of tape down their floor, Abed knows that real life is different from TV and doesn't always escalate to the most dramatic possible conflict, but he doesn't want to say that he's afraid of Troy getting sick of him so it's easier to use shark jumping as an excuse.
They're such interesting foils; Britta who flaunts how much she cares to conceal how insecure she is about not caring, and Abed who puts up his lack of investment as a shield to protect him from how deep his emotions run. I don't think it's accurate to describe either of them as robots, but that metaphor really does ping off both of their insecurities about not performing humanity correctly. They both just want to do the right thing and help people, even if they get it wrong sometimes.
#yeah rewatching abed's uncontrollable christmas made me even more normal can't you tell#i <3 britta being afraid of showing care wrong and abed being afraid of getting caught caring#community#nbc community#community tv#britta perry#abed nadir#my analysis
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Learning Cherokee is so intimidating when you don't have any relatives or elders to speak it with
#All of my Cherokee relatives who speak it are either disconnected from me or dead#I've never met a majority of them#It makes me sad#Because like I Look white. My whole immediate family Looks white. I've been surrounded with whiteness my whole life#And that's fine I guess. But it's isolating to know that there is a rich but dying culture that you are connected to#And yet all you have direct access to is American whiteness#I really would like to become more familiar with my ancestry#I just don't really know where to start#And I'm nervous to even try and approach other Cherokee people about it because again. I look white#Feels like I don't belong with either group even though I know that most would insist I belong with white people#.thoughts#negative
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hi yall :D we gave it our all, glenn fans. it was a good run & we worked rlly hard but a congratulations to Carlos is DEFINITELY in order ! well done :]
i want to say that being part of the dndads community has been such a blast -- since joining, everyone I've spoken to has been incredibly kind and supportive and honestly i had SUCH a fun time campaigning for glenn. I've drawn more in these last three days than i have, like, this entire year, and I'm genuinely super thankful that I was able to remember how fun it is to just make something for shits n giggles. to be a part of something for the fun of it
as for the requests that are still in my inbox, I will get to them!!! I won't be taking any more now that the poll is over, though. Full disclosure, it may take me a little while to get to everyone because finals week for me starts in four days (ToT)
EITHER WAY!!! THANK YOU EVERYONE !!! I had such a blast. I love this community with all my heart & i'm so glad
#i really hope people are gonna be good sports about this#i've seen some ppl talk about people being genuinely rude over this poll???#i feel like it should go without saying that “hey . don't do that????”#genuinely it's all in good fun and i love this community#pls be nice to each other though D:#i saw someone say “the real sexiest podcast character poll is the friends we made along the way”#which is so real#either way my point is that i love yall and ive never had a fandom experience where i've felt as connected to a community as i do here#i hope that's not weird to say. i just love dndads. i love people#kind of emotional rn#genuinely . thank you :')#dndads#dungeons & daddies#hot glenn autumn
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grey really fucked me up beyond belief i am SO insecure about relationships at this point
#i already had a disordered attachment style#like it was already there#he just made it worse somehow#like reinforced my fear of abandonment/vulnerability/relationships as a whole#like wow i really have been avoiding meaningful human connection all this time#and its obvious that my like#self confidence or whatever is mostly a front#i kind of only really know how to do either extreme#either intense self loathing or annoying arrogance#with grey it was always the former. maybe im compensating for all that time i spent hating myself#i mean i guess it kind of works#like genuinely being annoyingly self confident actually does kind of make you like yourself more#so thats something right#i dont know though i don't know if i even have the capacity to commit to other people#i'm scared is the thing. i gave every piece of me away before and got left with practically breadcrumbs of the person i used to be#i miss how carefree and easy it was for me to give my love away#my fear is that i will be so caught up in protecting myself that i can't give back to someone who loves me#i want to be loved and i want to be able to love but it feels like the part of me that knew how to love is long gone#loving someone used to feel good. now it just feels like a million blades in my chassis
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i recently learned about obsidian and decided to download it to give it a try and holy shit i had not realized how much worldbuilding/storyline i already had worked out over the years
#Writing apps#Worldbuilding#still working out how/if i'll create maps for the different locations/worlds#Obsidian app#i am realizing while i have quite a few characters not all of them have names and naming characters (or anything really) doesn't come super#easy to me lmao#but for the most part the names aren't set in stone either but i don't want to just label them wip or something#the linking feature has been super helpful so i can list who is connected to who and just click their name to jump to their page#or what events are linked to which locations and worlds#will i ever actually get to writing it out full fledged though? who fucking knows#but it feels good seeing all the details and stuff over the last like 10+ years in one place that isn't just my head rofl#Falling Apart and Coming Together
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Hiiii what’re your fav fiction and non-fiction books??
uhhhhhh (<- me when I haven't read a proper book and liked it for years due to school) look so. the last time I enjoyed books I was like. 12 possibly maybe younger but if we're talking like comic books and graphic novels I've really liked Scott Pilgrim for fiction. I ain't got a single book for you that's non-fiction I'm so sorry :[
#i really fell out of love with books because i was an extremely gifted kid in reading and had a 12th grade reading level far too early#and so people expected me to love all books forever and kept shoving books onto me#and now i can barely sit though a single book even if i really want to read it#even reading scott pilgrim vs the world has been hard#i got the entire collection for Christmas and I'm only on book three i think#and it's not that it's not interesting i just feel like i can't sit down and read a book because my brain still connects books to#school work and i really hate school work and then i try to force myself to read it and that makes things worse#sorry this turned into a rant about my relationship with reading i didn't mean to do this 😭#bunni answers asks#i don't have a tag for u :[#homestuck url geoff pfp mutual#<- ur tag for now#god i hope u never change either of those /silly#also i hope that's geoff i have a really hard time identifying him i feel like he looks different every photo i see of him
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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i need to get over myself and learn the languages i want to learn if i want to learn them like i just need to do it if i want to learn them then i should go out and learn them and like . fuck whatever else any of it means . yes it IS embarrassing to learn a language like the ones i want to learn as an adult but who CARES and yes i KNOW my grandparents will never want to speak to me in those languages but who CARES if it's important to me it can be important to me anyway
#had a moment last night bc i was apparently having an identity crisis which was random#but i had a moment where i was like well even if i learn all these languages no one in my family is going to want to speak to me#in those languages because of [insert reasons i don't need to go into here] and so ultimately none of this is like . cultural Really#it's just me wanting to feel as though i am connected to something when i will never be#and maybe that's true or maybe it isn't but if i want to learn them i should learn them anyway like . at the end of the day#i DO want to learn those languages and i think it would be interesting and i would love to be able to speak to people#in those languages even if the people i speak to aren't related to me and i would love to be able to speak languages that aren't english#and that all stays true even if i am not able to have the cultural connection through language with my own family#like i can go on and on about how disconnected i feel from my culture bc of everything that has ever happened in my life#but how i still feel alienated bc i'm Not White to white people and all of that is true but not learning a language doesn't make it#any better and maybe learning a language won't make it better either but i think it's a better use of my time#ALSO !!!!! NO ONE EVER GOES OH WHY WLD U LEARN FRENCH OR SPANISH [OR INSERT EUROPEAN LANG HERE] u have no real cultural connection to it!!!#so like why is it different bc i want to learn asian languages??? it's not! except in my head! or maybe irl too but i'm just saying#that i think i make all of this a much bigger deal than it has to be#that being said i did just try to look up classes and they r all for children and about keeping children culturally connected 2 their famil#l m f a o but that can't be ALL the classes ............. i'll work it out is what i'm saying and i need 2 get OVER myself#bc none of it is that deep and i can feel conflicted all i like but i should fucking DO smth about it at least#anyway i am posting this in the hopes that i can beat it into my own head bc i am sick and tired of being weird about learning#languages and i need 2 get over my weird cultural identity issues if i want to like . live a life where i don't want to explode and die
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going to start believing in reincarnation or infinite alternate realities split on our choices just to avoid fear of missing out on the other things I could choose to do with this one life time. haven't decided which yet - but if I choose the second it doesn't matter bc in another universe I'm sure I chose the first, and if I choose the first it's okay I'll probably believe in the other one in another life
#I don't Not believe in these things. idk the world is complicated who am I to rule anything out. but like. you know.#I don't believe in them either. seems kind of comforting though#on the flip side they also both seem overwhelming bc if you reincarnate then ultimately your soul's accumulated social network must be#crazy big and complicated and entangled with different relationships with the same souls in different lives#it's hard enough keeping track of various relationships in this one lifetime#and ofc the alternate universes thing provides the comfort of not being alone but also can make you feel alarmingly alone bc you can't#really connect with your other selves. you know they are out there but you are isolated from them. also the staggering insignificance of#your choices... like sure you have 'free will' then how come every possiblr choice gets made in some reality?#it's all just marbles on tracks#anyway. fun stuff to thing about
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#he doesn't wanna acknowledge it but I think he really is tryin to rationalize somethin that happened to him not just the rest of us#i mean ofc in the physical sense it's the same anyway n it was before either one of us existed but#i........didn't think there was smth that he actually emotionally connects to like that#cause he's only ever mentioned 'what happened to us' as an entity that doesn't include him#n i guess i didn't wanna think someone who's been through that would go on to do it to someone else#but i mean i guess it makes sense#why he's so hell bent on ignoring the moral side of it. whatever happened did cause he wasn't strong enough to stop it#n the only way to keep himself from becomin a victim again is to always be the perpetrator instead#survival of the fittest#if you couldn't stop it you deserved it cause whoever's the strongest makes the rules#is that easier to accept than somethin just being _wrong_ n happening anyway? maybe#how the fuck do we unpack it though#it rly shouldn't be me it should be someone he can't coerce into takin part in his fucked up defense mechanisms but#but. idk. don't know how to go about buildin a rapport w/ him#especially cause if it's someone he can't physically intimidate he'll probably feel too vulnerable n just go full defense mode instead#i think someone he doesn't see as a threat but he can't manipulate either is.....pretty mutually exclusive#i.....wonder if he can't feel safe cause as long as he can do it to me it also means someone else could do it to him#it don't rly work like that cause it's cause of emotional manipulation now but. also.#maybe he doesn't consider himself as immune to that as we thought he did#he does have a pretty messed up understanding of things like autonomy n consent even wrt himself#if it doesn't go outside the role he plays n someone initiates i don't think he feels like it's up to him. it's just expected.#we've tried to get him to understand no one's gonna hurt him here. the worst that'll happen is bein restrained if he goes after someone else#which probably fucks w/ him even more cause he has no choice but to go along w/ it or be made to cooperate but#it's only when he's an active threat. it's self defense.#i think i'm onto something here cause rn sayin it'll only happen if he tries to hurt someone feels.....the same as shit like#this is only happening cause you're makin me do it#you wouldn't get hurt if you just did what you're told#all the. all the shit he's always tellin me to dodge accountability n make me feel like it's my own fault#goddamn fucking hell our psych literally just started her summer break it's over a month til our next appointment#spdrvent
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Benefits of living on campus: Independence, quick and easy access to classes (especially when all the parking is taken), quick access to social events, people your age
Negatives of living on campus: you get bored really fast, people don't really want to talk to you unless they've gotten to know you or decided you were okay to talk to, separated from pets, roommates aren't always there (and don't always clean their messes), expensive
I don't know- I've just been feeling stuck inside and not wanting to do my normal hobbies while feeling lonely again when I moved away to do the opposite. Everyone overhyped it which I kind of expected. Maybe I should give it another week or two...
#tw vent#I start getting a lot more depressed at night here#i also really don't feel like doing school work- but I was kind of in that spot where I was getting tired of school#but I'm sticking with it because better job opportunities with a degree in anything is what I keep hearing is best#i'm starting to make friends and connections#and I still do art and am starting to get back into it and some of my hobbies#but i'm not quite feeling it#i don't necessarily want to move back into my house though#but i don't exactly want to be here anymore either#i just want to feel normal and happy again#do i want to live in silence or constant criticism?#why don't I want to do work or my normal habits?#i should probably see a therapist but my current insurence doesn't quite cover one and I'm not sure about an on campus one#vent post
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I feel I’m really neutral about taylor swift really.
I think I call her out for being a weak advocate for anyone who isn’t herself. I think her private jet use is terrible for the environment and she’s such a white feminist capitalist. So I tend to have a low bar when it comes to expecting to do anything Actually Progressive. I don’t really have an issue critiquing her. I think a lot of bubble wrap her from receiving criticism but I feel sometimes it’s warranted. I feel that no public figure should be exempt from scrutiny or accountability. I think you need to be able to sort what is a valid analysis and what is just someone being a hater. I think it’s important to not idealize humans but also not to villainize them either.
I don’t really care about her personal life at all. Who is her friend? Who is her enemy? Who is she dating? Is she bi? I don’t know and I don’t know that it’s worth super caring about tbh. I don’t know her. I think it would be silly to be firmly rooted in any belief about her or her life.
I do enjoy some of her music. She has a lot of forbidden love/secret love/yearning vibes. I really liked folklore & evermore. I like music I can infuse my own meaning and stories into. And I’m a no genre, all drama person. I don’t have guilty pleasure music. I just vibe to music and I don’t know a lot about 99 percent of the bands I listen to and don’t know if I them as people.
I also actually like her lower register. I think her belt is just okay. I think I just grew up with women in rock and metal with bananas amazing belts and high notes that I think hers are mid. I don’t think she’s a singer I would look to for technical vocal ability as much as much as feels.
I also don’t care a lot if other people like her or not. I feel like everyone’s music taste is their business.
I think I tend to roast her a lot on her, and I think my roasts are valid. But I also I Did Something Was Bad was my top song on spotify in 2018 even though she hasn't made my top 100 since then. I just think my perspective is neither unequivocally supportive nor overtly critical. I feel like it's pretty balanced and nuanced.
#I also follow a lot of wlw on here who are either convinced she's also sapphic on some level#and others who loathe that anyone could ever believe she is anything other than straight#and like....why does it matter?#if you relate to a song or something just relate to it. idk what it adds if she really wrote it about a woman or not.#like I have a lot of evanescence songs I connect to in a queer way even though they weren't written about my specific feelings#I guess I don't get why it matters
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if you're stuck on a chapter there are a few reasons:
-your set up to the scene you're writing is not working. go back and check it
-you are not in the right POV. think about who would be the most interesting or the most entertaining or the most informative in that scene, depending on what impact you want the scene to have
-you're at the beginning of the chapter and the words aren't coming to you even though you have it planned out already? the solution is simple: you don't like what you have planned out as much as you think you do. do not force it
-solution to a lot of problems comes from a single question I ask myself: Do I choose the kind option, or the mean option? (Your readers will eat up either one)
-You find the dialogue lacking? Act it out
-Your scene feels boring or something just "ain't right" but you can't tell what it is? Try making yourself feel the emotion you want your readers to feel. If you didn't cry while writing a scene meant to make your readers bawl their eyes out, then you might not have connected to your character as well as you wanted to. Put yourself in their shoes, pretend you ARE them.
(And afterwards, please practice putting yourself back in your own shoes and taking care of your mental health. Sometimes the fucked up stuff might get to you. Healthy minds create healthy lives, and in turn, you get to keep creating.)
-Your environment might be bothering you. Take a look around you and see what's nagging you. Is your workspace not clean? Are your notes out of order? A clean/orderly workspace can help you organize your thoughts or get you into a more productive mood. (Trust me, I get it, sometimes it's really hard to keep it tidy.)
-Try white/brown/pink noise. Try listening to music, or to videos that create background noise you feel most productive with.
-Jumping jacks. Squats. Stretches. Wiggle around your room. That one scene in High School Musical where Sharpay and Ryan are warming up. It sounds ridiculous, but this is good for you, your body, and your mind. Release pent up energy, get yourself awake and focused. If you aren't able to do this, try something silly to wake your brain up. Do some puzzles, sing some songs, etc.
-Most importantly:
Did you do your laundry? Did you get enough sun? Did you drink enough water? Did you eat enough today? Did you get your favorite snack? Did you smile? Did you run in your yard like you did as a kid? Did you laugh with your friend? Did you see the way their eyes crinkle when they smile at you? Did you play with your dog? Your cat? Did you look at the flowers in the field near your house? Did you meet someone new? Did you learn something you didn't before? Did you try something you were scared of? Did it go well? Did you enjoy being yourself? Did you explore the world today? Did you live? Did you love? Did you feel? Did you breathe, and relax, and feel that everything is gonna be okay?
It might seem insignificant, but we write from the heart, not just the mind. Let your story sit in the back of your mind when you truly feel stuck. Take care of yourself, try getting out of your head. Notice the details around you, commit them to memory. Your story will wait for you. It might take a day, or days, or a week, or a month, months, or a year or years. But the story sits with you and you'll be thinking about it without actually thinking about it. When you come to your story again, it will be happy that you've grown, no matter how big or small
#erinwantstowrite#writing blog#writing advice#writing#writing inspiration#writer's block#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#mental health#it's so imprtant to take care of yourself#your characters want you to do that#they live as an extension of you
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FIRST TIME MEETING THEIR PARENTS
Your first dinner with 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍's parents, but you're too nervous . . .
OT7 ENHYPEN x f!reader CONTENT / WARNING(S) fluff + pet names + anxious!reader + est relationships + not proofreadWORD COUNT 868 words CHECK MARK
reblogs + feedback always appreciated!!
𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚
You were standing in the hallway, checking your appearance in the mirror way too many times, more than you should. Heeseung notices this and makes his way over to you. "Sweetie, why are you so stressed?" You even out your black skirt again, and answer, "this is the first time I'm meeting your parents. What if they don't like me?" You see Heeseung's warm, brown eyes in the reflection connect with yours which casts a warm feeling over your chest. "They'll love you, I'm sure of it, my love." He says, and kisses you on the cheek. "Are you sure?" "Of course I am." His words soothing a portion of your insecurities.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚
"Honey, does your mum like mushrooms?" You ask, entering the bedroom while holding a small basket. "Yes, why?" He brushes his hair one last time and raises an eyebrow at you. "Are you nervous because of the dinner with my parents?" Jay asks, his finger sliding up your shoulder. "Not really, I just want to make a good impressions, you know." It was a white lie, and Jay knew it. "Babe, they love mushrooms. maybe you could show her how you usually cook them, they'll love it just as much as I do." He says, trying to ease your worries. "After all, I'll love you no matter what, angel."
𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡
You were prancing around the livingroom, your heart pounding so fast. You had accidentally dressed up a lot earlier than Jake due to your nerves. "You look classy, babe." Jake winks, his hand combing through his hair. "Thanks, you too." He notices how pin straight you're standing, the stance you have whenever you're nervous. "Do you remember when I was scared of meeting your parents?" He asks, and you nod, remembering that day clear as day. "So, was there any need for me to be?" "They loved you, Jake." You chuckle. "Exactly, so you don't need to be nervous either. Ok?" He pulls you in by the waist and hugs you.
𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙆 𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙉
You two walked into the restaurant that everyone had agreed on going to. It nearly feels like your heart's about to burst. It was as if their eyes were drilled into you, their gazes judging and strict, but that might just be in your head. Sunghoon glances down at you and sees how you're playing with the hem of your dress. His hand slithers to the small of your back, catching your attention. He leans down and whispers, "Are you still nervous?" You nod. Sunghoon is unsure of what to do. "It's fine though." Your eyes wander to the two whispering elders. Sunghoon clears his throat upon seeing this, and they turn to you two. "Oh! We were just talking about how cute you both are!" They clear up, and you relax upon hearing that they don't hate you.
𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢
You're starting to worry Sunoo too, but not the same thing you're stressing over. "Sunsun, what do I do when they wave? Do I wave back, or bow?" It's a stupid question, and he wonders what makes you worry so much. "Why are you asking that?" He asks. "I don't know." You whine, your elbows propped on each knee. "Are you really nervous?" He asks, and seats himself beside you with a worried expression. "Yes! I really want them to like me." Sunoo pats your back. "But, babe, they already love you." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. "How?" You ask. "There's no way I wouldn't talk about someone as perfect as you." Sunoo admits as if it was already obvious.
𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡
You had rushed Jungwon out of the house early to be 'on time', but it turned out to be the opposite; you two were quite early. You clutched tightly onto your purse while in the car, trying to compose yourself, knowing that these thoughts were unnecessary and too overwhelming. Jungwon had assured you that his parents were the kind type, and that there was nothing to fear, but your nerves said the opposite. "Are you sure you're okay, sweetie?" He asks, and you nod against your will. "Are you sure? I know you're nervous, and it's normal, but if it becomes too much, just tell me and we can go, yeah?" He kisses the corner of your eye, and you nod. "I will." "Alright, then let's go, it's time." He says, his grip is tight around your hand.
𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜
You were indifferent to this feeling of worry. Riki had told you that his parents wanted to meet you, and you thought it was kind, but deep down there was this fear of not being liked and accepted. His culture might differ from yours, and that was the root of your stress. Sure they might, or might not, be similar, you never know. You see Riki walk up to you, signalling that it was time to leave the house. "Are you ready, lovely?" He asks, and you nod. "They'll love you." He says after identifying your nervousity. "How can you be so sure?" "Because Konon adore you." You had only met his sister once, and you were just as nervous then to meet her.
perm taglist - @dollyhoon @itjengirl @saeivra @orimuraa
#yuvany's work౨ৎ#k films#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen x you#enhypen drabbles#enhypen imagines#enha x reader#enha fluff#enhypen scenarios#enha imagines#kpop x reader#kpop#heeseung x reader#jay x reader#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo x reader#jungwon x reader#ni ki x reader#enha scenarios#nishimura riki#enhypen soft hours#enha headcanons#enhypen headcanons#lee heeseung#park sunghoon#sim jake#jay park
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ready
words: 2.1k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, soft!rafe, inexperienced!reader (not a virgin though), reader is briefly described as small chested, p in v sex, mentions of past bad experiences
you feel like you've been kissing rafe for hours, but it's probably only been a few minutes as his lips gently glide against yours. his hands are placed securely at your waist, not venturing any further until you give him permission, even though he's itching to feel your bare skin.
“should we take this upstairs?” rafe asks, his voice a soft hum, sultry and low.
“oh, um-” you freeze, and rafe can feel the change in your body, the way you suddenly stiffen.
“just because wheezie is going to come home soon. we can just kiss, don't have to do anything you don't want to.” rafe quickly clarifies.
“yes, then.” you nod enthusiastically. “absolutely.”
rafe smiles, looping your hands together as he walks you upstairs to his room. you feel your heartbeat speed up, even though rafe assured you that you wouldn't be doing anything you weren't ready for.
“sorry for freaking out for a second earlier.” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as rafe shuts the door behind you.
“it's fine.” rafe shakes his head. “i should have been more clear. we take this at your pace, baby.”
“thank you.” you loop your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss. “who knew rafe cameron could be such a sweeatheart?”
“you bring it out in me, princess, i don't know what to say.” rafe backs you up until the back of your knees hit his bed and you lower yourself down.
“i do have a question though.” rafe hums as he sits himself down next to you. “and im not going to judge you either way, it's just for me to know how to handle things.”
“okay.” you nod, already guessing where this is going.
“are you a virgin?”
“no.” you shake your head. “ive had a couple experiences before but none of them have been… good.” you sigh, thinking back to your first boyfriend who took your virginity on prom night, in all of 30 seconds. “and i haven't had sex in a long time so in a way i kind of feel like a virgin.”
“okay.” rafe nods, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, gently cradling you against his side. “thank you for telling that to me.”
“i… want to, though. with you.”
“there's no rush, i want you too, but we can take our time.” rafe presses a kiss to your head.
“you're not gonna get bored waiting?” you duck your head as you speak, ashamed of the question even as you ask.
“never, babes. you're my girl, yeah? i don't take that lightly. if i wasn't willing to wait, i wouldn't have asked you out in the first place.”
a smile stretches across your cheeks as you hide your face in rafes shirt.
“oh, you're so cute when you're all shy.” rafe laughs, cupping your cheek and lifting your face up to look at him, pressing kisses all over your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose.
“i want you.” you say, chasing rafes lips to connect them.
“you already said that.”
“i mean-” you take a deep breath, considering your decision. “i mean i want you now. im ready.”
“right now? baby if you feel pressured-”
“no, no.” you grip his shirt. “i really want this.”
“okay.” rafe can't help the smile that stretches across his cheeks. “we're taking things slow though, alright?”
you nod, kissing him again as rafe moves you, guiding you to lay back against the pillows. he hovers over you, holding his weight up on his elbows.
rafe pulls back, looking down at you. “you're so beautiful.”
you feel your cheeks flush red as you blush, resisting the urge to cover your face.
“im gonna take my shirt off first, alright? make you feel nice and comfortable.” rafe says.
“you mean make me feel hot and turned on? because that's what happens when you take your shirt off around me.” you giggle.
“oh, i see the way you stare at me when i take you out on the boat.” rafe laughs, placing his knees on either side of your body on the bed, caging you in as he straightens out, pulling his shirt off.
“can i… touch you?” you question. you've hugged rafe before when he's shirtless, but you've never specifically focused on feeling his muscles.
rafe doesn't answer with his words, simply taking your hand and placing it on his abs.
you run your hand over the ridges of his abdomen before moving up, feeling his defined chest, pecks almost as big as your own breasts.
“satisfied?” rafe asks when you lower your hand.
“yeah im… im gonna take my shirt off now.” you tell rafe, wanting to feel rafe touching you, the way your bare skin presses together when he leans back down and kisses you.
rafe moves back, allowing you to pull your tank top off, leaving your bra covering your chest for now.
“so hot, baby.” rafe drops himself over you, kissing you again. you wrap your arms around his shoulders, feeling the way he's so sculpted there too as your hand drifts down his back.
“can i take your bra off?” rafe questions. “only if you want.”
“mhm.” you go to reach behind your back, but rafe moves faster than you, unclipping your bra and sliding the straps down your arms. he leaves you the final decision to pull the cups away.
you swear rafes eyes increase in size as he takes in your bare chest.
“it's okay, you can touch me. i-i want you to touch me.”
rafe nods, hands coming to cover your tits, large palms swallowing them.
“i know they're small-” you begin to explain, but rafe cuts you off.
“they're perfect, baby.” rafe says honestly. you can see him now beginning to tent in his shorts as he stays kneeling above you, hands moving to cup your tits, thumbs running around your nipples before swiping over them.
you gasp, surprised by how good it feels. none of the guys you slept with in the past paid any real attention to making you feel good as rafe continues, watching your nipples harden with every movement.
“we can stop here for today if you like.” rafe says, hands moving to your waist, wrapping around you as he drops once again to press a kiss to your lips.
“no, i don't want to stop.” you admit shyly. “i want you so bad.”
“good, because im hard as hell and if you wanted to stop id definitely have to go take care of myself in the bathroom.” rafes joke diffuses the situation even more as you let out a laugh.
“im just gonna touch you over your shorts for now. if at any point it's too much…” rafe trails off, knowing he's being so extra cautious you probably find it annoying, but he doesn't want today to be added to your list of bad experiences.
rafe moves himself to the side, distracting you with more kisses as his hand drops to spread your legs, fingers gently running over your thighs before moving up higher.
rafe keeps his movements light as he begins to rub your center, increasing the intensity when you moan against his mouth.
“does that feel good?” he smiles down at you, watching your face contort in pleasure.
“in… inside my shorts please.” you take rafes hand and move him one less barrier away. rafe sees your need and immediately begins to rub again, now with just your underwear in the way.
“oh god, you're so wet.” rafe groans, focusing in on your clit as you let out soft moans, aware that you're likely no longer alone in the house.
“i-i need you rafe.”
“yeah.” rafe pulls his hand out, clearly unable to wait as he's straining against the zipper of his shorts.
rafe steps off the bed and you watch in fascination as he undoes his shorts, sliding them off to reveal his incredibly obvious bulge in his underwear before rifling through his nightstand to pull out a condom.
“no complaints.” he says when you open your mouth. “i know you're on birth control but your first time with me is not going to be raw. just in case you don't like it.”
you giggle, rolling your eyes. “i know im gonna like it, rafe.”
“still.” he leans down, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose.
you watch intensely as rafes underwear is also pushed off his hips, his cock standing hard and up away from his body.
“do you want me to… suck it or something?”
“if you do that i won't get to fuck you.” it takes you a second to realize what rafe means.
“oh!”
“you just… really turn me on.” he admits.
you lift your hips and push your shorts and underwear down in one go, kicking them off the bed to add to the piles of clothes on the floor
rafe smirks, glad you're growing more and more confident every minute.
rafe lays back down next to you, both turning to the side to face each other.
“are you nervous?” rafe questions, hand falling to your bare hip, rubbing your leg and keeping his eyes locked with yours, despite wanting to look down and see all of you.
“i thought i would be.” you admit softly. “but im not. not with you.”
“im gonna let you control everything at first.” rafe lifts your leg and sets it over his hip, his cock nestling between your thighs.
you close your eyes as you press down, experimenting with the way rafes cock rubs through your folds, having to remember to keep your moans quiet when it bumps against your clit.
“whenever you're ready.” rafe says, his eyes now squeezed shut as he concentrates on holding himself back.
you reach down, grasping rafes cock as you move him against your entrance, angling your hips as you sink forward until he's as far inside of you as he can get in this position.
“just…” rafes hand squeezes at your hip. “stay like that for a second, baby.”
you need a moment to adjust anyways, so you keep your hips still until rafe exhales and nods at you.
you look down between your bodies, watching the way his cock disappears inside of you with every movement.
“god, you feel amazing.” he moans.
“you can move. please.” you whimper. rafe nods again, beginning to rock back and forth, making the mattress squeak underneath you as he meets your thrusts.
the movements may be slow, but you're gradually building up, experimenting by shifting your hips and seeing what feels best.
you let out a sudden moan when you tilt your hips and rafes cock hits a new sensitive spot inside of you.
“no one's ever done that before for you, huh?” rafe smiles at your clear shock and pleasure as he thrusts in and presses the spot again.
“oh fuck.” you whine, head leaning back as rafe carefully moves you onto your back so he can take over.
“you don't know how long ive wanted to see you like this.” rafe says, balancing on his elbows as his hips press into you, keeping the thrusts slow but deep.
“moaning beneath me. god, i would have waited forever for you but im so glad we're doing this now.”
“rafe, stop.” you whine. “you're gonna make me cry and im way too horny to start sobbing.”
rafe laughs, bending down to press a kiss to your forehead before refocusing on your pleasure as he speeds up.
“im gonna touch your clit as i fuck you, baby.” rafe informs you before moving his hand, thumb pressing over your clit as he rubs.
“oh shit!” you squeal before quickly covering your mouth, your hips lifting off the bed as rafe continues to fuck into you.
“are you close?” he questions, glad that you nod, not sure how much longer he can hold off.
rafe pushes his pleasure aside for a bit longer as he presses inside of you, sighing with relief when he feels you tighten around him.
“oh my god, rafe!” you moan as your high suddenly hits, entire body shaking as your pussy pulses around his cock, spurring on rafes own orgasm as he cums with a moan of your name, filling the condom.
he gives you a feel final thrusts, his thumb shakily rubbing your clit through your high until he can't hold himself up any longer, collapsing on the bed to the side of you.
you're both breathing heavily, recovering from the intensity. as soon as rafe can get his muscles to respond to him, he pulls you in close, tucking you against his side.
“so, was i good baby?” he asks, even as your body still shakes with the after waves of your pleasure.
“best ive ever had.” you grin up at him. “by a long shot.”
“just what i like to hear.” rafe bends down to give you a kiss before pushing your hair away from his face and leaning to whisper into your ear. “and you haven't even got to feel my mouth yet. just wait until i eat you out.”
#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x oc#rafe cameron x reader#rafe imagine#rafe blurb#rafe fluff#rafe one shot#rafe drabble#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron drabble#rafe imagines#rafe cameron imagines
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