#i don't think anyone's ever fallen for that one being real

[noirshitsuji]

first best thing about writing crack-taken-seriously is that when you do the angst and genuine stuff there ppl are always bait-switched into feeling it really hard. second best thing is inventing facts about things and making them tonally indistinguishable from actual real world information in the story

[brodieland]

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 always matching, now the matched ´ˎ˗

Percy Jackson x Fem!Eros!Reader Synopsis: She's cupid, but doesn't believe in love. Yet here comes Percy Jackson, believing other wise Warning(s): potty words, LOL! Word Count: 4420 PART 2

Y/N Y/L/N, daughter of Eros, also known more famously among mortals as Cupid.

When Y/N first arrived at camp, she wasn't claimed yet. While stuck in the Hermes cabin, she would listen into a lot of gossip (Hermes kids loved to gossip!!). When she had heard about her new friend Silena Beauregard and her ongoing crush on the Hephaestus boy, Charles Beckendorf, Y/N decided to step in. She would be on both ends giving each other advice on one another. Eventually she finally got Bechendorf to ask the amazing Silena out on a date, a real date and not the friendly hanging out they did before that.

The next day when they finally announced to their friends that they were in a relationship, above you appeared a bow and arrow surrounded by hearts. At first they were confused until Chrion announced Y/N was being claimed by the god Eros. The god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. Ever since then, she lived up to her legacy at camp, and always had people asking her for advice on love.

Love.

Despite being camp Half-Blood's new found resident cupid, Y/N herself had never been in love. She found love a beautiful, yet terrifying experience. Love is showing someone your most vulnerable side for an experience of comfort, an experience that isn't guaranteed to last. It's not like Eros stuck around with your mom. Others craved it, and Y/N serviced it, and she was fine with staying behind.

Before coming to camp when you were 15, you watched your mom never manage to move on. She had fallen in love, and she had fallen hard. Hard enough to have a baby with a man she'd known for such a short amount of time. He'd left and for years your mother was heartbroken. You had step-father after step-father, though they never lasted, they were just to fill the void. You grew up never understanding why people ever bothered with something that wouldn't last, but it never stopped them. You always thought if you couldn't help your mom, you could help others.

As Y/N strolled along the green of camp, she watched all the newer found couples be all lovey dovey with one another. 'You did this, and one day they'll get hurt.' She ignored her running mind and continued on with her day.

You walked down the beach in some denim shorts and a white bikini with mini pink hearts all over it, basking in the sunlight as it tanned your skin. The ocean looked beautiful as you watched Piper and Percy surf the large waves, though you thought Percy had something to do with the size of the waves.

"Hey guys," you waved to your friends as they walked out the ocean.

"You here to enjoy the waves, too," Percy asked.

"The ones you're probably creating," you crossed your arms and the two just chuckled. You were correct though, when Percy stepped out the waves calmed down.

"Hey, could this be the day you finally let me teach you how to surf," Piper wiggled her eyebrows at you, causing you to smile.

"You know what, fine. Sure it is," you said. Piper started cheering as she made Percy go find a board for you to use.

"So, any new matches today, Cupid," Piper asked as she used the nickname that's become quite popular around camp. It was all anyone called you.

"Nope, not today. Everyones happy as they are. For now at least."

"For now?"

"Yeah, you know how I think about it."

"When will you learn that love can last? You don't have to be so gloomy about it you know."

"Spoken like a true Aphrodite kid," Piper just rolled her eyes. "I'm not judging anyone, its just not for me."

"One day it will be, and I'll be here to laugh in your face," Piper declared. You just rolled your eyes as Percy made his way back with the boards in hand.

"I got you a pink one, matches the hearts," Percy said as he handed you the board and gestured to your bathing suit. "Let's go!"

You were not a surfer to say the least, but you held your own. It was probably because Percy made the waves nice and small for you. You told him he didn't have to 'dumb down' the ocean for you, big mistake. You were knocked off your board and washed up ashore looking like the seaweed that washed up next to you.

"I don't think I'm a surfer guys," you said to your friends as they laughed at your current state. With your hair a mess and sand all over you, you looked like you ran through a hurricane.

"Maybe not," Piper couldn't stop laughing. Percy helped you up as were spitting sand out your mouth.

"Hey man, couldn't you help me out? I thought we were gang," You asked, gods you loved talking like a little frat boy.

"I'm the one who washed you up and didn't let the waves drown you???"

"Do I look like I wasn't just drowning," you gestured to yourself from head to toe, causing the two to just laugh.

"You look amazing," Percy said. "Like a 5 year olds shitty sand castle."

"After it's been stomped on of course," Piper added. You shook her hair back into place, sorta, and jumped back into the ocean to wash off the excessive sand.

"Yo Y/N," Percy yelled.

"Yeah," you turned toward Percy, and before you realized it, a wave smacked you from the side and knocked you back into the ocean. The pair on the shore were now doubling over, holding their guts in laughter. When you stood back up you gasped, inhaling oxygen like you've never before. "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY."

"We're laughing," Percy shouted back. You ran back out the ocean before Percy could send another wave your way.

"I need a shower, there's sand in places sand should not be," you announced as you walked off, waving your friends off. Eros doesn't have any other kids, so there hasn't been a cabin built yet. You walked in the Aphrodite cabin and waved at some of the campers as you walked straight toward the bathroom. When you were washing the sand out, you could hear some of the girls gossiping outside. Gods, you always wondered which between the Hermes or Aphrodite kids were the bigger gossips.

"I don't get her at all," one girl said.

"Yeah, how can she be like, so good with everyone else, but hate the thought of one for herself," a second girl said. Then the door opened.

"Hey, whatcha guys talkings talking about," a boy said.

"Cupid and how she refuses to get in a relationship," the first girl said.

"Gods, she soo hot, what'd I do for a night with her," the guy groaned. You just rolled your eyes as he further proved your point on why you'd rather not get into a relationship.

"Yeah she doesn't even like, just have fun with guys. She's like totally closed off," like, like, like. You turned off the water and started to dry yourself off.

"Literally, like it's the 21st century," you were tired of listening to the three go on and on about you like they didn't just watch you go inside the bathroom. You wrapped your towel around yourself, as tight as possible, and opened the door.

"Hey guys, whats up," you smiled as you walked toward your bed and going through your chest of clothes. Watching them go silent may have made your day. You walked back to the bathroom door to change. Before you shut the door, you turned back and said "I heard everything, and I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy."

You sighed as you put your clothes back on and walked back out the cabin, ignoring the silenced trio inside. You saw Percy walking back from the beach. He looked tanner.

"Hey Percy," you waved.

"Hey Y/N, you washed the seaweed out your hair I see," he smiled.

"You mean after you tried drowning me? Yeah I did wash it out thank you."

"I thought it was a nice little accessory no?"

"No," you deadpanned. "Anyways guess what, while I was showering I got stuck listening to people gossip on me, can you believe?"

"What could they possibly be talking about?"

"How I choose to stay single, like gods forbid. One of the was all like," you used air quotes and pitched up your voice, "like its the 21st century, blah blah."

Percy chuckled at your interpretation, "Wow, you should be an actor."

"Thank you thank you," you bowed.

"But really, Y/N, you're always helping everyone else get into relationships. How come your so against it?" You felt like a weight was dropped on your shoulders, like a shadow fell over your face.

"Nothing, dinners starting we should probably head over," you started walking, a neutral expression painted your face. You saw Piper and sat next to her, not before putting on a smile.

"Hello my queen," you beamed as you leaned your head on her shoulder.

"Hey babe," she kissed the top of your head as you leaned back up. You guys always joked like this. You got your food and started eating. You never burned your offerings, who would you pray to? Your dad? Eros? You never liked him after how he left your mother, and you decided to never pray to him. He didn't deserve the offerings. Your cabin mates came back and you all finished your dinner, now heading back to your cabin. You staggered behind slightly as Percy started to catch up.

"Hey Y/N," he sounded a little out of breath as he was walking next to you. "Look, I'm sorry if I said something earlier. I didn't mean to like offend you or something."

"Look its fine, I think I was just hungry or something," you said, kind of hoping he'd drop it.

"If you say so, just wanted to make sure we're good," it was quiet for a second. "We're good right?"

You chuckled, "yes Percy, we're good."

"Okay good," Percy breathed out as you slightly smiled. You both reached the doors of the Aphrodite cabin. "well, goodnight then."

"Good night," You walked into your cabin and headed over to your bunk above Piper. Lots of the other campers were up talking to one another from their bunks, but the second your head hit the pillow, you were out. And just as quickly as you fell asleep, you were pulled into a dream.

'You were standing in your old bedroom with your stuffed bear in your hands. You'd just woken up and were now staring out the window watching the clouds pass.'

You remember this, you were just about 4 years old.

'As you were cloud gazing, you heard your stomach rumble and made your way down into the kitchen. It was nearing 10AM so you knew mom was up. Normally you'd smell the breakfast from your room, but not today. When you walked down you didn't smell any bacon or hear any sizzling of the stove. All you heard was crying.

"I.. I can't do this anymore..." You knew that voice, you knew it better than any other voice, it was your mothers. "I miss him so much, and what do I do with her? I can't.. I can't tell her."

Up until now, you'd never heard your mother cry, but here she was pouring her eyes out. Who did she miss so bad? And why was she so sad they weren't here?

"Mommy?"

Your mom jumped as she wiped her face and turned around, clearly not expecting you. "Hey there sweetie, how's it going?"

"Why are you so sad," you walked up to her and hugged her leg. She smiled half-heartedly as she picked you up. "Why are you crying mommy?"

"Oh nothing, I'm sorry you had to see that," you may have been 4, but you can tell she was pretty upset. And you asked the worst question ever.

"Mommy?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"How come.. all the others kids have dads but I don't," you asked as softly as you could. You saw the slight switch in your moms face, before she quickly smiled again.

"Your dad was special, more than you know. He was amazing, I hope one day when you get to meet him, you'd understand how important he is, and forgive him for leaving." That's what she always said, and the more she said it, the less you believed it.

You woke up, not moving from your spot in bed. You laid on your side continuing to stare at the wall as a single tear fell from your eye. You hated that dream, hated it more because it was a recurring one. From that day forward, you watched your mom fall for different men, and watch it end the same way it always did.

You heard a yawn from under you, "Good morning, Pipes."

"Morning, cupid" Piper groaned. You sat up and hopped off your bed and sat with Piper. "Wanna try again at surfing or are you still a wimp."

"Definitely still a wimp," you laughed. There was a knock at the door and a boy walked in.

"Yo," Conner Stroll called out. Piper sat up and you both turned into his direction. Conner's eyes widen as he smiled and walked over. "There ya are cupid, I been looking for you."

"I told you I'm not helping you steal from the camp store again."

"No no not that," Conner clarified, "Though I do believe you should rethink that."

You glared at him before he continued, "Anyways, Chiron wanted to ask me to pick up some demigod that was found in Florida, but my license got um, suspended."

"What's this have to do with me?"

"Please cover for me, I get it unsuspended in three days I'm begging you," Conner got on one knee and pressed his hands together, pleading with you. You and Piper locked eyes and laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing, I'll do it. Always wanted to go to Florida anyways."

You got up and got dressed in some normal clothes, opposed from your camp Half-Blood shirt. You put on a another pair of denim shorts, a baggy shirt, and some converse, before heading out to the big-house for the car keys.

"Chiroonnnnn," you sang out as you walked into the house.

"Ah cupid, there you are, I assumed you are here for the keys," you nodded as he fished into his pocket and handing you the keys. You found it funny how even the staff called you cupid, it was like an endearing nickname you supposed. "Can't believe Conner got his license suspended."

You laughed as you headed out the door, "Hold on!"

You paused and turned as Chiron called out, "Whats up?"

"I would appreciate it if you brought a friend with you, maybe Percy," Chiron suggested, you nodded and this time made it fully out the door. It's almost like he was summoned by speaking his name, because there he was.

"PERCYY," you shouted as you ran your way over. He turned over with a concerned look on his face. "Hey there."

"Y/N," he deadpanned, "Is there a reason that your screaming like someones chasing you?"

"How would you feel about leaving camp and picking up a nice ol' demigod with me?" You smiled. "Pretty please."

"You don't gotta twist my arm about it, I'll go change," you smiled as he walked off.

"Wow, you asked Percy but not me? I feel offended," you jumped and saw Piper standing behind you.

"Don't feel offended, Chiron suggested it you know."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Have fun being stuck in a cramped car with Percy," you had to take a double take.

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing-"

"If you say that one more time-"

"I'm back," Percy reappeared now changed into some jorts (I think jorts are underrated) and a baggy shirt. "Ready?"

"Ready," you said. You and Percy went and walked off, as you quickly turned back to glare at Piper. You and Percy kept walking till you finally made it to one of the black SUVs reserved for transporting demigods. Percy walked toward the drivers seat before you stopped him.

"You don't have a license?"

"I'm showing some good manners?" Percy said as he opened the doors and allowed you to step in. You thanked him as he got into the passenger seat. You guys were 2 hours into the drive when you both drove into the drive through of a McDonalds. As you continued driving you guys ate and listened to music. And though Percy wouldn't admit this, he loved Lana Del Rey.

They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read

The soul read was crazy! After about 11 hours, the both of your eyelids were falling heavy, knowing it was time to get some sleep. You parked off into an empty parking lot and rolled back the seats, falling asleep. Or trying to.

"Are you asleep," Percy called out.

"Yeah," you heard rustling in the seat next to you. You turned your head and saw him looking at you. "Why're you staring at me?"

"I'm not?"

"Whatever you say," you smiled. "Percy?"

"Y/N."

"How come you don't call me cupid like everyone else?"

"You have your own name, so why stick you with your dads name," Percy turned on his back. "You don't even like him, do you?"

You were quiet for a second. You never really opened up about him. Sure Piper knew that you never liked relationships, but that's about it. "No, I don't."

You were quiet a few seconds. You didn't think about continuing, but the words spilled out. "When he left my mom, she was never the same. She tried hiding it but the older I got... I don't even know. All I know is she couldn't love the same."

You stopped speaking and turned back to Percy who was listening to you intently, you felt encouraged to continue. "What really sucked was, all she did was talk about him with love."

It was silent again before Percy spoke up, "is that why you closed off being in love?"

You waited a second before nodding,

"Through this sting was Amor made wiser. The untiring deceiver concocted another battle-plan: he lurked beneath the carnations and roses and when a maiden came to pick them, he flew out as a bee and stung her,"

you paused, "at the end of the day, love just hurts people."

"We both know you know that's not the case," Percy said lowly. "Think of all the people you've set up, if you really believe that, then why help them?"

"Just because I'll never understand why people want love, doesn't mean I can stop it, can I?"

"No, guess not. Still, why do you really help them," Percy asked again, turning back to you. You thought about it again.

"Sometimes I wish I was just as naive as everyone else," you admitted. "I wish I saw love as beautiful as everyone else did, not as a bee waiting in the flowers ready to sting me when I got close. Or.. vulnerable."

"You seem pretty vulnerable right now, and last I checked, I don't see any bees around to sting you," you looked over at Percy who was smiling. His contagious smiling spreading to you.

"We have a long drive tomorrow, we should sleep," you said.

"Yeah. You're right."

"I normally am."

You both drifted off to sleep, and thankfully, there was no recurring dream. Just a peaceful sleep. You two woke with the sun as it blasted into your faces. After saying your good mornings, you drove off. Getting some breakfast first, of course.

Percy looked at you with his eyebrow raised, "I don't think a Baja blast is good for you at 8 in the morning."

"Shut the fuck up."

You were not a morning person, if it wasn't clear. You guys kept driving and driving before finally making it to the young demigod's house by 6PM. You and Percy stretched your legs before walking up and knocking on the door. An older man, who you assumed to be the demigods father, opened the door.

"Are you the ones from the camp," the man asked.

"Yeah, I'm Y/N, and that's Percy," Percy waved.

"Hello my names Richard," he introduced himself before calling down his daughter. "This is my daughter, Delilah."

Delilah waved at the two at the door, she didn't look older than 7. She had blonde hair like her father and flowers in her hair and mud on her hands, like she'd been out in the back yard.

"She loves the the garden out back, can never get her away from it," Richard said.

"Well good thing we have a lot of gardens at camp," you said. You watched as Richard picked up his daughter and hugged her.

"I'll see you at the end of summer okay? I love ya pumpkin," he kissed her forehead before putting her down. The scene tugged at your heart strings, the little girl on the inside was shaking right now.

"Hey Delilah, ready to go on a little roadtrip," Percy asked after kneeling down to her level. She nodded her head quickly while smiling. "Well cmon, no time to waste!"

He picked her up while jumping and skipping on the way to the car. You said your goodbyes to the girls father and headed back to the car. You watched as Percy effortlessly made the young girl laugh and smile, it gave you a warm feeling inside. It's a feeling you wish you had when you were younger. You envied Percy's future kids, he was just so good with people. Of all ages.

"Let's hit the road," you said while hitting the gas. You and Percy hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning, determined to make it to Delilah at a reasonable hour, so now the two of you were starving. "Delilah, you want some pizza?"

"Yes! Yes!" That's all you needed, you pulled into the first pizza place you saw, a 'Groovys Pizza & Grill.' You guys all split a supreme pizza with pepperoni, sausage, ham, bacon, green pepper, onion, black olives. Turns out little Delilah was a bigger eater than she looked. After about an hour you all finished eating and packed back up into the SUV.

It was now 11PM, you and Percy were determined to push through to at least 1AM this time. Not Delilah though, she was asleep in the back.

"You were so good with her you know," you said.

"Hmm?"

"With Delilah, its like it came natural or something."

"Maybe. That's just how me and my mom always were. We always had our fun, never made me feel different you know," you smiled. Percy always talked so highly of his mother. Never with an ounce of resentment towards her. It was beautiful. "You know, I watched my mom go through a pretty bad relationship too."

You turned for a second to see Percy completely serious about what he's going to say, "She was with this guy, I always called him smelly Gabe. He treated us like shit, but she stayed with him because he protected me. Not like it was on purpose, his smell was just so ass it covered mine. I thought after getting with a god, she'd never have the normally life she wanted. Then she met her new husband Paul, and I'd never seen her happier. I even have a new sibling now, Estelle."

You smiled, "That's amazing, I'm glad it worked out for her. With the way you talk so highly of her, she deserves it."

"Yeah, but I didn't just say that to gloat."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, sometimes a relationship goes sour. Sometimes that's how life is, giving up doesn't solve anything," Percy said as he yawned.

You drove in silence after that. He was right, but that doesn't make you less scared. You looked at Percy who was trying to get some shut eye, then at Delilah through the mirror up front. You always wanted to blame Eros for how he left your mom, well you did, but what good is that doing you? Missing out on a giant piece of life for the sake of resenting your father. Hades, after all this time, did you even know what it is to love someone? It was nearing 1AM, so you found another empty parking lot to fall asleep in before making it back to camp in the morning. Hopefully.

The next day, you three arrived at camp by 7PM. You might've broken some speed laws but you didn't care, you were tired of that car. You stretched out before walking Delilah to the main house where Chiron would talk and show her around. Now it was just you and Percy, walking your way to the dining pavilion where everyone was eating dinner.

"I hope you consider what I told you, you know," Percy said.

"What?"

"About getting over your fear. I knows there's someone out there ready to love you, trust me," you looked to Percy, watching him continue looking forward as he walked.

"I'll think on it," you almost whispered before looking back forward, nearly at your respective tables. You walked behind Piper, tapping her shoulder. When she saw you she put you in a bear hug.

"Pipes, I missed you too, but my ribs," you croaked. She let you go and let slip into the seat next to her.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Gods the drive was treacherous," you dragged. "But it was pretty fun."

"Fun?"

"Have some decorum please," you held up your hand. She smiled and so did you.

"But seriously, stop keeping the gossip to yourself," Piper complained.

"There's no gossip," you smiled. You remember watching how Percy acted towards a kid he's never met, and again, you felt the mix of the little girl in you and the you now sitting on this bench feel happy about it.

"Yeah sureee," Piper looked at you up and down before coming close to your ear, "because looks like cupid shot herself with her own arrow."

You just rolled your eyes, "did not."

"Whatever you say."

[cjjohansson]

from across the room, to between the sheets.

natasha romanoff x reader. - for months you have been longing for her. tonight it finally changes. -

reader has a penis. fluff? SMUT! oblivious reader? who knows. i don't.

18+!!!!!

It first happened at a party Tony hosted. You thought it was innocent at first. The way she kept staring at you while she stood with her boyfriend's arm around her shoulders. But everytime she looked at you, you couldn't help but stare back. Your eyes continuously move slowly down her body, drinking her in. She has always been beautiful. Sexy even. And anyone who ever told you that THE Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff, wasn't beautiful or sexy…were simply blind or idiots. 

You could talk about her for hours. Well at the start it was mainly about her body. But after that one party conversations flowed through you both. They came naturally. The connection instantly there as you spoke about everything and nothing at the same time. 

You both bonded over your traumatic childhoods at 3am when you were both plagued by nightmares. Which you always found amusing at how you both found each other even when you both lived at 2 different ends of the Avengers compound. 

You were a SHIELD agent and one of the best so to say. You weren't originally based there, you had only recently been moved a few weeks before the party.  

But it was like as soon as you both laid eyes on eachother you were both hooked. Like it was a secret connection that no one could know about. Her boyfriend was on the team. It would cause problems at work and it wasn't worth it. But she WAS worth it. 

The times she held you in her arms when you couldn't shake off a bad flashback after a nightmare. Her hand carding through your hair, her body pressed tightly against hers. You would be dead if her boyfriend had seen. 

You were friends. Good friends. But nobody knew. Nobody could ever know. She was technically your superior. SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND! 

Tony practically hosted parties every month. 

The same thing happening over and over. You would feel her eyes on your back and when you turned you were always met with her low smirk and longing eyes. But again he was always next to her. 

It happened for months, secret meet ups whenever one of you had a nightmare, your phone flashing up filling your dark room. A text from her. Always a simple text. ‘The garden.’ You would be out of bed in seconds. You had even gone as far to change the ringtone of her text, even when sleep filled you the sound of your phone recognising her text tone brought you straight out of sleep. 

It was difficult. Being friends with her was difficult, even though it felt like the easiest thing in the world. You started to think about her more often. She would plague your thoughts, the need to be next to her filled your bones. All you could think about was her, every second of every day she was in your head. There was no doubt that by this point you had fallen in love with her. She wasn't just beautiful or sexy. She was caring, strong minded, and intelligent. She was no longer just a body you could admire from far away. She was now a real human who your heart couldn't not fall for. It was stupid. 

God of course it was stupid. The whole time, from the moment you met her, she belonged to someone else. Her body laid with another. But your brain couldn't stop telling you maybe she liked you too. Why else would she seek comfort in another when she has someone already?

You always wanted to ask, but part of you also never wanted to know the truth. So you never asked. 

You thought a secret was better than nothing. So if that was the only way you could have her then that is how you would take it. 

But that all seemed to change when Tony hosted another party 8 months after you had first laid eyes on her. 

Your body shook in the elevator as you made your way to the party floor. The frill of finally seeing her again consumed you. You hadn't seen her for a week, she had been away on a mission and when she had come back you had them left for one too. You had only gotten home that morning. You couldn't wait to see her across the room, couldn't wait to see her smirk fill her face as your own eyes took her whole self in. 

You heard her before you saw her. Her infectious laugh had your head instantly turning to the bar where she stood with no other than Clint Barton. You knew he was her best friend. Maybe now after 8 months you could finally approach her in public but your whole body froze when you saw Bucky Barnes, her boyfriend, walk up behind her and throw his arm around her shoulders and pull her into a half hug. You turned in the other direction after that. But if you hadn’t maybe you would have seen the way she pushed him off of her and punched his shoulder calling him an idiot. 

You once again stood far away from her, but never once letting her out of your sight. You wondered if she could feel your eyes on her. And your question was answered when she turned away from the bar and her eyes instantly met yours. You had to hold the blush that threatened to creep up your throat over her finding you. But that wasn't what shocked you. What shocked you was her turning back to the bar and grabbing another beer, her feet moving her in your direction and before you knew it she stood in front of you. 

It was like you could feel everyone's eyes on you. People were definitely wondering why Natasha was approaching you of all people. Especially Bucky Barnes. 

“I missed you this week.” Natasha sheepishly muttered as she handed you the beer from her hand. Your blush came at full force then. “I missed you too.” You couldn't help but take a nervous sip of your drink as she chuckled at you. 

“Stop thinking about everyone staring at us.” Nat said louder this time, her eyes staring intensely into yours. “Well it is very hard to not think about it when your boyfriend looks like he wants to come over here and rip my head off.” You chuckle back at her taking another sip on your drink, but quickly shut yourself up when you notice her confused expression on her face. “And who is my boyfriend?” You choked on the drink in your mouth. Was she being serious? “Er? Bucky?” You reply, nerves filing your body once again. She laughed loudly at your reply, jokingly wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. You had never felt so confused. “Bucky? My boyfriend. No, definitely not.” Okay, definitely confused.

“Wait, what? He isn’t your boyfriend?”

“Have I ever said he was?”

“Well no, I just, whenever we are at parties he always has his arm around you and whispers things in your ear…I just assumed…”

“Ohh you assumed? Well you’re very wrong.” Her smirk back on her face as she now takes a sip from her drink. Her eyes flutter over your face, then they lower, following your whole body as she takes in your suit. “You look really, really nice tonight.” Natasha’s voice turns husky as she takes a step closer towards you. Your body is heating up over just her voice, your head feeling dizzy at how perfect this woman is. You manage to swallow the breath you were holding and find the courage to reply, “And you Tasha, are looking as beautiful as ever.” Her cheeks flood red, she lowers her head in embarrassment, you already knew how much she hated being complimented. 

You feel your arm move before your brain can actually catch up, your arm hooks around her waist and pulls her closer. Part of you expected her to back away. But instead she willingly moves closer herself, her right hand coming up and laying on your chest. 

You can feel everyone's eyes on you even more than you did a moment ago. The movement is so intimate and vulnerable. And she, the big bad Black Widow, was letting it happen. You feel as she takes a breath, her head finally lifting. Her eyes meet yours. And it feels as though everyone who was staring is no longer in the room. It is just you and her. 

“I don't know if it is just liquid courage, and I promise I’m definitely not drunk but I’ve been wanting to tell you something for a while…” Natasha breaths out, nerves filling her body, an action you feel is so rare from the woman in front of you. 

“You can tell me anything.” 

“I…I have liked you since the moment I laid eyes on you 8 months ago in this very room. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you…I just, I didn't want to lose whatever we had but I spoke to Clint and…”

“You spoke to Clint about me?” A teasing grin falls on your face, your insides feeling warm and fuzzy over her admission. “Is that all you have to say about what I just told you? Come on Y/n…I like you, and I like you a lot, like you consume…” Your hand touches her cheek first, your fingers play with some hair that has fallen onto her face. “Can you stop talking for 2 seconds and let me kiss you Tasha.” 

“Yes, yeah. I would very much like…” Your lips touch hers before she can finish her sentence. Your hand on her cheek holds her securely on your lips. Both of you move together, you move as one. Her hand curls around the edge of your suit jacket, pulling you impossibly closer to her. She can most likely feel your heart beating out of your chest as her tongue swipes against your lower lip begging for entrance and you want to allow it but the people in the room come back to your mind as well as your trousers tightening around you. You smile against her lips, her own curling up after yours as you both pull away from one another.

“I wish we could leave right now but people would definitely talk more about us than they are already going too.” She whispers between you both, her lips red and slightly swollen. 

“Yeah well they better not look down then.” You awkwardly murmur to her. Her eyes fly down and then back up again as your cheeks burn red again. “I don’t think I can stay here knowing you have a problem that I am very capable of sorting out.” Natasha huskily replies, her eyes darkening, she looks up at you through her eyelashes and you swear you feel yourself get even harder. You groan in annoyance. Your head leaning down to press into her forehead. “You're killing me right now red…” Natasha leans up to press a gentle kiss to your lips. Her head then moves so she can whisper in your ear, “Please, lets just leave…” She practically begs. You nod your head, your body winning over. She turns in your arms. Her ass pressing into you and you have to swallow the moan that comes over you. Your beers are long forgotten on the table you were standing next to. Your heavy arms are now around her waist and you bring her even closer to you. You both walk through the room attached to one another. People stare and all Natasha can do is chuckle at their faces. 

As soon as the elevator doors close, she turns in your arms. Her body once again leaning against yours as she chases your lips. A whimper leaves her mouth as you grip her ass and press her into you, your lips finally meeting hers. Her hand moves down to grip you through your trousers, a moan leaving your mouth at the sudden action. You manage to move your leg between her legs, her body shuddering as you take a hold of her hips. You grind her hips hard into you, her body shaking as she feels your muscles through your trousers. Your own body shudders when you feel how wet she is. 

“Fuckk, baby…” she moans as you start to move her faster against you, her body tensing up, your instinct telling you she is already close to cumming has you moving one of your hand to your trousers and opening them, your trousers becoming painfully tight over the sinful sounds falling from her. Natasha moves her lips down your neck, she bites and sucks all over your neck until you are moaning loudly, her face pulling into a smirk when she realises she has found one of your spots. She chuckles lowly against you but gets cut off as you pull her down even harder onto your leg, her hips moving faster as she suddenly cums. Her body tenses and her head falls against your shoulder. Her breathing fast, while she slows her grinding and then comes to a stop. 

Her hand instantly moves to your boxers but before she can touch you the doors to the elevator open and she is pulling you along to her bed room. 

You're not given the chance to even acknowledge her room as she pushes you up against the wall and her lips are instantly latched back onto yours. Her hand now successfully wraps around your hardened length as she jerks you teasingly. Your hands come up to her back, fingers finding the zip of her dress and pulling it down. She removes herself from you and steps out of her dress, your eyes nearly bulging out of your head when you take note of her bare body. It somehow makes you feel hotter knowing she was wearing nothing underneath her dress. You kick off your own shoes, pull down your own trousers and boxers, kicking them off somewhere in the room as Natasha starts to undo your shirt buttons. But they seem to annoy her as she chooses to rip your shirt instead. 

The showing of her strength has your breathing deepen. She looks up at you innocently, moving to leave a kiss on your lips, you go to chase them but stop when you notice her lowering herself onto the floor. Your eyes follow hers and take note on how she keeps eye contact while she teasingly licks the tip of your dick, your hips buck, impatience filling you, she notices the change in your face, desperation overtaking you and she finally wraps her lips around you. She takes you slowly, her head bobbing up and down until her nose finally touches your stomach. You try to stop yourself from thrusting but the sound of her gagging has you gripping the back on her head and start to fuck her mouth. 

You groan at the muffled sounds coming from her, your abs tightening as you pull her on and off of yourself. “Gon cum if you keep doing that baby girl.” Natasha’s eyes go hazy at your words, her body falling into submission as you bring her back to your tip. “You wanna make me cum?” Your cocky tone turns her on as she nods her head with you in her mouth, she brings one of her hands up to grip onto the base of your cock. Her hand and head falling into a rhythm. “Sh-shittt, gonna, I’m gonna cum.” You husk out, you half expect her to pull away but are met with her eyes connecting to yours once again and her head moving faster, you instantly understand, your hand pulling her hair into a ponytail, and fucking her mouth again, both of your groans fill the room and your body flinches as you finally release your cum into her mouth. She keeps sucking you dry as your body slumps against the door. She eases off of you slowly, getting back up to her feet. Her face comes into view and you feel yourself start to get hard again over the dopey expression on her face and the cum that is glistening on her lips. 

You don't stop yourself when you lean to kiss her, pulling her body closer to you once again. You never want to experience her body never being this close to you ever again. Her stomach presses against your already hard again dick and you pull her over to the bed. You sit comfortably against the headboard while she climbs onto your lap, leaving hot wet kisses over your neck as she grinds her hips over your dick. 

Your hands fall to her hips to lift her up, her hand flies down and moves your head to her opening. You slowly lower her, letting her get used to your size before you even attempt to move. "Fuckkk, baby you're so big." She breathes into your mouth as she starts to move her hips up and down at a slow pace. 

Your brain instantly falls into how you want the rest of this night to go. "Be a good girl and take it, yeah.." You reply as you slowly flip her over, with yourself still inside of her. "Fuck detka..." Natasha pants as you grind into her steadily. The russian falling from her lips turning you on even more. Her face contorts as you hit the perfect spot inside of her, her legs coming to move around your waist holding you tight, her hands falling tightly onto your back as she digs her nails into you.

"Fucking me so good..." Natasha breathlessly moans into the room, her body moving to meet your thrusts halfway. She grinds her hips into yours, her hands stretching down your back, mostly likely leaving blood in their movements, her mouth falling open in a silent moan as you pull out to the tip and slam back into her. 

You pull her hands from your back, not letting up your thrusting as you lay her hands above her head, your hands grip onto hers as you thrust even harder into her, you watch as your hands drain with colour with how tight she is holding you, “Wanna hear you scream for me, baby girl. Can you be a good girl and do that for me?” You pant out into her ear, her head nods as she moans sinfully. You repeat your action from earlier, you pull out so only the tip is still in her and roughly fill her up again, her moans getting even louder. You don't stop that action, loving the way her eyes close and pornagraphic moans leave her as you fill her up. You fill her up fast, your head moaning down to rest on her shoulder as you groan against her hot skin. Her head flies back at your rough thrusting. 

The whole room feels hot, her skin against yours feels hot. Your deep panting mixing with her moans.

You feel yourself coming closer to the edge, but you want her to cum with you. Your hands release hers and one moves to support yourself on the headboard, her hands moving back to grip your back, your other hand snakes between your bodies reaching her clit. "FUCK, Y/N! Don't stop, don't stop!" Natasha finally screams so loud you fear people at the party will hear her but you don't stop, your dick continues to move inside of her at a fast pace, your thumb speeding up the circles on her clit.

"Want you to cum inside, together." She says before she moves her lips between your neck and collarbone, her teeth biting into the area, she instantly tightens around you, her walls squeezing you to the point you have to change to deeper short thrusts. Your body is on hyperdrive at the thought of painting her walls with your cum. “You feel so fucking good, shittt. I’m gonna cum” Natasha moans.

"Okay baby, okay....cum- cum for me" You stutter out as you feel her gush around you, her cum hitting your stomach as you pull back more, your body tensing as you release inside of her, her body shaking as feels you cum inside. Your thumb slows down along with your hips, silently not wanting this to end. You look down not wanting to miss the way both of your cums mix together and squirt out between your thrusts.

Your moments eventually stop, her hands coming up to play with your hair, your body collapsing onto hers. Your body keeps shuddering as you feel her clench and unclench around you. Your dick already starting to get hard again. She brings your face out of her neck and kisses you slowly. It soon moves to passion as your hips slowly start to move inside of her again. Already wanting to take her all over again. She is like a drug, and you already know you're addicted.

“Fuckk baby, you're perfect, you're mine okay? You're mine…” You moan possessively against her lips, her own lips pulling into a smirk as she whispers back into your lips, “I was yours from the moment we laid eyes on each other.”

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 6

Hello! I don't know how long it's been since I've updated this, so if you don't remember much, I recommend going back and at least rereading part 5.

In this Steve and Eddie talk and you meet Steve's bandmates and best friends outside of Robin, Eddie, and Dustin.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

****

After the shower and the best sex Steve had ever had, Eddie and he lay curled up on the bed.

“I hate lying to everyone,” he murmured. “It eats me up inside. But if one person found out...” He buried his head into Eddie’s shoulder.

“But one person did find out, sweetheart,” Eddie said softly. He rubbed Steve’s back soothingly. “The world didn’t end. Your secret is still safe. I’ll make sure of it.”

Steve let out a low shuddering breath. “I trust you. I do. It’s everyone else I don’t trust.”

Eddie threaded his fingers through Steve’s hair and brought their foreheads together. “So trust me to keep everyone else at bay. Can you do that?”

Steve let his eyelids flutter closed and he took a deep breath. “Yeah, Eds. I can do that.”

“Just one more thing, sweetheart and you can go to sleep.”

Steve opened his eyes and asked, ��Yeah, what’s that?”

“The boys want The Fallen to join Corroded Coffin on our next US tour,” he said with a grin. “What do you say? You think your band would want to do that?”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Like for real? All the guys signed off on us opening for you?”

Eddie tilted his head in confusion. Where did that question come from? But as he thought about it he knew exactly who Steve was referring to.

“Yes, even Gareth,” he said with amusement. “They all love your guys’ sound. You’re even his favorite bandmember.”

Steve snorted. “I wouldn’t be if he knew who Abbadon was.”

He winced, Eddie really wished he could refute that but Gareth was sure that Steve would swoop in and take Eddie away from the band, leaving them high and dry.

Steve wouldn’t have done that prior to being in his own metal band, but it was even less likely now.

“Gareth has his own hang ups,” Eddie said. “Don’t you be worrying about them, okay?”

Steve let out a long sigh. “Yeah, I just wish I knew why he didn’t like me very much.”

Eddie pulled him closer and pressed a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.

“Sweetheart,” he murmured. “He doesn’t like anyone who could break up the band by being ‘Yoko Ono’. You, Miranda, anyone any of us have dated ever. But it’s okay if he dates, because he knows to make sure that the band is his top priority.”

Steve pulled away a little and leaned up to look Eddie in the eye. “Wait, what?”

“Yup,” Eddie said, gently pulling him back down. “So don’t you worry your pretty head about it, okay?”

Steve kissed him deeply and buried his head into the crook of Eddie’s neck, nuzzling the column of his throat.

Soon they had both drifted off to sleep.

****

Steve was woken in the early hours by Eddie kissing him goodbye.

“I’ve got to go before anyone gets wind I’m here, darlin’,” he murmured. “But I’ll text when I can, okay?”

Steve nodded and snuggled back into his pillow to go back to sleep.

Eddie shook his head fondly. He slipped out into the hallway where Robin was waiting for him.

She was leaning up against the wall with her head down and her arms crossed.

“Miss Celeste,” he murmured, miming tipping a hat.

She pushed herself off the wall and turned to him. “Are you going to be trouble for us?”

She tossed him a plain black hoodie which he quickly pulled over his head.

“You and Ste–Abbadon?” Eddie asked cocking his head to the side.

Robin shook her head. “All of us. The whole band. Abbadon and I aren’t the only ones hiding our identities. I don’t want them outed anymore then I want Abbadon outed. I mean it’s not that big a deal for me. I can be their manager no matter what I look like now.”

Eddie regarded her for a moment, thinking. He had a pretty good idea who the other bandmates were. And it made sense. They had separate lives that could be ruined if word got out they played for a metal band.

“I don’t know shit, Cici,” he muttered. “And that stands for as long you need me to.”

She blinked at the new nickname, unsure if she liked it or not. She waved the thought away, she had more important things to worry about.

“I’ll hold you to that, Munson,” Robin said pointing her finger at him. “Do not ruin this for us.”

Eddie gave a jaunty salute and started down the hallway back the way he’d come up.

Immediately he ducked his head and changed his gait, becoming a completely different person.

Robin watched until he was out of sight.

She shook her head. She had been so concerned about the geniuses that she had been blindsided by the idiot.

Granted this idiot was in love with Steve, but she wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse.

She supposed only time would tell.

****

Robin sat with her boys. Steve was her soulmate, but these three were her brothers. She loved all of them.

She looked at each one of them in turn. Shane Kendrick was a bright-eyed, freckled red-head. His hair was a riot of curls and sheered on the on the sides. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, looking up at her like a lost child.

Simon Olsen was on the sofa with Steve. He was practically a video game main character. Dark hair and eyes, chiseled jaw, dashing good looks. He was leaning heavily into Steve’s side as Steve draped a comforting arm around his shoulders.

The final member of the group was Spencer Peters, a blond haired, blue eyed man with a crooked nose and a mischievous grin.

“Okay guys,” Robin began. “i have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

“Bad!” they chorused.

Robin shook her head at these absolute dorks. “The bad news is that someone clocked Steve as Abbadon.”

“Shit!” Spence hissed. “What happened?”

Steve chuckled. “Apparently I had a secret admirer for years.”

Simon looked up at Steve in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“Eddie Munson has been in love with our Stevie so long that he clocked Steve from the two little moles on the underside of his jaw,” Robin said dryly.

Shane leaned forward, eyes wide. “Are you for real right now?”

“Eddie Munson?” Spence echoed. “As in frontman for the biggest band in the world?”

Steve cackled. “That would be the one.” They all stared at him like he had grown an extra head. “Come on, guys, you know that I’ve been friends with him for years. I even went to school with him. It’s not out of the realm of possibility.”

“Holy shit,” Spence said, eyes wide. “You totally fucked.”

Steve turned a bright red.

Simon leaned a little bit away from Steve to look him in the eye. “You slept with Eddie Munson. Was that before or after he found out you were Abbadon?”

“After,” Robin said. “He sent flowers to Abbadon’s dressing room last night with a note letting him he figured it out.”

The three other men gasped in shock.

“Weren’t you upset?” Shane asked. “I think I would be regardless of who had done the guessing.”

Steve licked his lips. “Was it harrowing for a bit there? Sure, I’m not going to lie. But I trust this man with my life,” he said. “But I’m not going to trust him with yours. If you want him to know, you can tell him, but otherwise, Celeste and Abbadon ain’t gonna say shit to him, and Robin and Steve don’t know jack.”

The three men looked at each other.

Spence shrugged. “Like he’ll probably figure it out.”

Simon sat up fully and blushed. “I think he spotted me as he was coming out of the dressing room, if that was him.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, Robin and I hauled him in there to make sure he actually knew and wasn’t just fucking around.”

Shane licked his lips. “Just so I got this straight,” he said, “Eddie Munson figured out Steve is Abbadon because he’s mapped out every freckle and mole he has, he sent Steve flowers letting him know he knew, they fucked about it, and he most likely knows that the rest of us are in the band, but probably not who’s who for sure. That sound about right?”

Steve and Robin shared a glance and Robin nodded.

“That sums it up, yeah.”

Simon collapsed back into Steve’s side. “What’s the good news?”

“Corroded Coffin wants us to open for them the next time they go on their US tour,” Steve said with a grin.

Suddenly all three men were on their feet and staring down at Steve in shock.

“There is no way,” Spence hissed. “Is this because of you and Eddie?”

Steve shook his head. “No. I can see why you’d think that. But all us getting together did was give Eddie the chance to ask. The other members of the band are fans of ours.”

Shane raised an eyebrow. “But not Eddie?”

“Yeah...Eddie’s a music snob,” Robin said with a grimace. “He thought the band was gimmicky.”

Spence snorted, throwing himself back on the chair and crossing his arms. “Yeah, okay. That’s fair.” He half shrugged. “A lot people thought like that with our first album and we kinda were. But now that we’ve settled into our personas better, we’re going to hear that less and less.”

“I can’t believe you’re taking Eddie’s side,” Simon said with a glare, curling back up against Steve like a large house cat.

Steve rubbed his back soothingly. “It’s okay. He changed his mind when he saw us live. Just like a lot of people. You can’t keep nitpicking something that he’s since changed his mind on, especially since you didn’t know about the other thing until we told you.”

Simon rolled his eyes, but wisely said nothing else.

“When and where would we be touring?” Shane asked, settling back down on the floor, cross-legged.

“Not for awhile,” Steve said. “They just got back into the studio. Something that our own record label has been begging us to do since we started our second leg of our US tour.”

Spence nodded. “Which gives me and Shane time to write our third album and get it some of it recorded before they want us back on the road.”

Shane did their music and Spence did their lyrics. That was another thing that surprised a lot pundits when The Fallen first came out. Drummers weren’t usually a band’s writer. But it worked for them.

Steve could play guitar and sing, but he couldn’t write music and his poetry had caused many a partner to laugh out loud at his attempts.

But Spence was really good at getting to the heart of Steve’s emotions and channeling them into soulful lyrics.

Steve would come to them with a idea for a song and between the three of them they would work it out.

Simon didn’t mind not being a part of that process. If Steve’s poetry attempts were bad they were nothing compared to Simon’s attempts at writing a fantasy novel.

He had two thousand pages of...well. Simon called it a mess and no one could disagree. He had read several books on writing, attended lectures and classes, watched Masterclass for half a dozen writers, and it boiled down to one inescapable truth.

Simon was too wordy and did not take criticism well. So anything he wrote was for himself and for fun.

He had published a couple of RPF fanfics about a couple of actors from some detective show, but they never really got any attention and then when the band took off, he just never had the time.

He was more than happy to just lay on the guitar riffs and solos when they needed him to and let them do the rest.

Plus it was fun watching the three of them take Steve’s word vomit and turn it into a hit single.

“I’ve also got someone coming in and deprogramming our personas,” Robin said, “so we don’t look like weirdos with no spacial awareness.”

Simon giggled. “Just how many of your friends thought you were cursed, Steve?” he teased their frontman.

“Oh hardy ha,” Steve grumbled.

“Most of them them,” was Robin’s cheerful reply.

Steve stuck his tongue out at her. “So just to reiterate, Eddie knows about me and Robin and will probably guess about you three, but it is up to you if want to tell him. We’re going back into the studio for our third album and Corroded Coffin is currently recording their ninth. And while we’re there, we’re going to learn how to be regular humans again. Then after they’re done and hopefully us, too,” he added as an aside, “and they set the dates, we will open for them for just their US portion of their tour.”

He looked around at them.

“Any questions?”

The three other members just shook their heads.

“Great!” Robin said cheerfully. “Anybody got plans for tonight? Or are we doing the post tour celebratory dinner tonight since someone wasn’t there last night?”

“Post tour dinner and drinks are okay with me,” Simon said. “Though it was great to just crash last night.”

Shane and Spence nodded.

“I’m down,” Shane said, stretching his long limbs. “I could use a beer or three tonight after this meeting. Holy fuck.”

Steve nodded solemnly. “Mood.”

Everyone turned to Spence.

He blushed deeply. “Is it all right if I bring someone along?” His head snapped up and he waved his hands as the implication just hit him. “She doesn’t know, so if you don’t want her there it’s fine. But my sister set us up before the tour and we’ve been messaging back and forth.”

Steve laughed. “Take her on a proper date on Friday, you asshole. Tell her you’re still a bit jet lagged and want to be fresh and awake for her to give her the attention she deserves.”

Spence blushed and pulled out his phone to do just that.

Shane licked his lips with a mischievous grin. “Just tell me again why you were single for so long with moves like that?”

Robin snorted. “Because he had a crush on Eddie.”

Steve turned bright pink.

“You are positively hopeless, Steve,” Shane said shaking his head.

“Oh I don’t know,” Steve replied. “It seemed to work out pretty well.”

Robin hit the back of his head. “Only because you got lucky and Eddie figured you out.”

Steve’s expression softened and turned wistful. “Yeah. I’m really fortunate to have him.”

Shane and Spence looked at each other and sighed.

“Looks like there are going to be a couple of sappy loves songs on this album,” Spence said, rolling his eyes.

Steve half shrugged, completely unrepentant.

Robin just shook her head fondly. God how she loved her boys.

****

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

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[forgeofthenine]

If you're still interested in requests (feel free to ignore, since you've got a lot of 'em!)

How would everyone's favorite tieflings react to their Tav *not* being at the tiefling party, because they've ended up spending the night keeping the tiefling kids entertained in Mol's hideout? Celebrating with them, having fun and goofing off with the kids (and making sure Mol isn't trying to exhtort who she can, by selling firewine around the camp by doing so)

Bonus points if s/o is a bard class~

(2) Asfgghkkkl I was the ask for the s/o/Tav who spent the tiefling party just playing with the kids - I (maybe) forgot to mention that I had the idea of them doing it secretly, or like, getting stuck escorting Mol back because the kids!!! Want to see the hero too!!!

Hi Anon, thank you for the great request! This one was a blast to write and I really enjoyed it, I hope it's what you were after :)

For anyone wondering, this was the WIP referred to as 'adopting all the kids'

The bachelors finding you in the kids cave at the grove instead of at the party

General

The party was just starting to ramp up, making your rounds and catching up with everyone when you see it from the corner of your eye

A small tiefling with a cunning grin and an eye patch sitting on a rock at the edge of the clearing

Sneaking off to the edge of the firelight, with only a sideways glance from Halsin, you finally reach Mol

It really didn't take long for the girl to convince you to leave the party, her threat of upselling stolen firewine was almost enough convincing on its own

The two of you make your way back to the familiar cave that the children like to hide in, cheers being the first thing that meet your ears as Arabella and Mirkon happily rush up to you

The other children stay back but look excited in their own ways, Silfy peeking out behind a blanket wrapped around her, Mattis turning his attention towards you, and Doni letting out a small grunt in greeting

With some light begging from some of the kids (and some egging on from Mol and Mattis) it's not long before you pull out your instrument of choice and start your own party for the group of children

It might've been minutes or hours you were there, you're not sure until you're interrupted

Dammon

Dammon had no intent on going to the party, not only is he not a particularly social person but he also has an entire makeshift forge to pack down

It's when he's stuffing his things into a pack that he sees you and Mol sneaking back through the grove and into your hidey hole

At first he chalks it up to the kids shenanigans but he grows curious at the sound of music emanating from the crack in the wall

Dammon is actually pretty quiet when he starts to make his way down the very tight, very craggy tunnel

That is until he slips and slides the rest of the way down, tumbling out covered in dust and letting out a small cough

The silence is absolutely deafening

"So this is where the real party is? Hope you don't mind me... Dropping in-"

The pun was bad enough for Mol and Mattis to want to kick the blacksmith out but you're quite happy to defend him

Soon he's joined your little group of rascals and you've scrounged him up a drum and the two of you are serenading the kids with a very one of a kind concert

It's only once all of the kids have finally fallen asleep that the two of you clamber your way back out of the cave, Dammon helping to dust you off afterwards

Dammon himself is stuck thinking about how good you were with the kids and how unexpectedly nice the night was, but he knows tomorrow they all get back on the road and he might never see you again

Zevlor

Zevlor, to no one's surprise, had been standing off to the side near Halsin when you left

Ever the wallflower in social situations, he'd seen you sneaking off with Mol

Knowing how much of a handful those kids are, Zevlor decides to go find you both soon after

He's spent this whole time letting the children believe he had absolutely no idea of their secret hiding place, but Zevlor isn't blind

Zevlors careful with making his way down the rocky tunnel, listening to the music that slowly fills the air

The paladin is so quiet in his descent that no one actually realises he's there until he claps at the end of your performance

The kids are all quick to scurry away, except for Mol and Mattis, and it's up to you to try and convince them to let Zevlor stay

It takes a fair bit of convincing but it ends with the two of you regaling the kids with stories of wild adventures

Those stories include musical interludes too at the kids instance

Once all the kids have fallen asleep, curled up around each other or lying on large stones, you and Zevlor make the rounds covering them all with blankets

It's when Zevlor is helping pull you back out of the cave afterwards, feeling the warmth of your hand against his, that he realises how alive you make him feel and how effortless it is to be around you

Rolan

Rolan had spent most of the night drinking and putting on magic shows for his siblings

At some point in the night you'd come and given him applause but the next time he went to look for you, you'd already disappeared

It was Lia that pointed him in the right direction, mentioning you'd gone back to the grove

And so a tipsy, affection-starved wizard decides to stumble his way back to the grove to find you

It's both the sounds of music and the light bleeding through the cracks in the stone that draws him in

And if you think Dammons entrance was grand, Rolans is grander

Accidentally sliding down the last part like a surfer before quickly using his magic to make sure he doesn't fall flat on his face

Of the three bachelors, Rolan is the only one able to convince the kids to let him stay by himself

Showing off a little extra magic helped somewhat

It's then that the kids insist you both entertain them, putting on a join concert/magic show

For Rolan it was like Cal and Lia were little kids again, looking out at the little tiefling faces that are 'ooh'ing and 'aah'ing at the magic firework displays

"Ah, my adoring crowd, if you think that was good then behold this-"

You two made a good duo, bantering between yourselves and some of the kids, and putting on a good show till the early hours of the morning

It's only when the two of you make your way back out of the cave, hauling Mols smuggled wine she was planning on upselling, that you sit at the beach and indulge in a shared bottle

It's then that Rolan looks in your eyes, smiling and fatigued, that he realises how much he wants to kiss you

Whether or not he does is something neither of you can remember in the morning

[daniswoso]

I hate the way I can’t hate you.

Ona Batlle x Reader.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, verbal arguments.

******

When you played for Levante, you met a girl. The most perfect girl in the world, to you, at least. Ona Batlle. She was kind, caring, considerate; her eyes were brown and reminded you of quiet fall nights. Her jaw was sharp and her mousy brown hair was always tied back in a plait.

Her personality was one of the best you had ever seen. She had the ability to care so fiercely for others while also keeping a level head, she was always soft spoken and polite but also charismatic and humorous. She was possibly the most humble person you had ever met, too.

You may have been young, but you were sure as hell in love.

And you don't think you've been able to love quite right ever since she broke your heart.

You started out at Levante together, you played football together, studied for school together. You trained together, lived together, ate together, went to the gym together. You were attached at the hip. So when her departure to Manchester United was announced, it was saddening. But you made your peace with it.

You had both decided you were going to make it work. You had too.

Ona, for a long time, was the only constant in your life. Your family and home life had never been particularly stable or good. You hadn't come from riches or fame. You had to work hard to get where you were today. And you continued to.

When you first went pro, you promised yourself you weren't going to let relationships get in the way of your career, but somehow Ona managed to break down your walls and your tough facade. Simply by being her.

She was a part of your heart. So when she suddenly ended things half way into her first season at United, a part of your heart died.

She did it over text.

Text.

To say you were heartbroken was an understatement. It felt as though a piece of you had fallen away, crumbled as you read those words. The words you had hoped to never hear. The words you never thought you would hear.

And so you needed to get away, from everything Ona. From anything that reminded you of her. And that meant leaving the only other constant in your life, Levante.

Plenty of things have changed recently, you thought, what's one more?

And it was difficult, but eventually you settled into Real Madrid. Content with only seeing her at Champions League matches, or in national friendlies where you would have to play alongside her.

You were content, but never quite happy.

You had had many failed talking stages and one night stands, often random women from bars. You always left before they even got the chance to stirr awake, leaving their bed cold and empty. Although you always felt guilty after, you continued with it. It was what worked.

You didn't fall in love, you weren't sure you could. And leaving before they could wake was the best way to get away from the situation, preventing yourself from catching even the slightest hint of feeling for them. Wether it was because you were still holding out some hope she'd come back, or because you simply didn't want a relationship; you weren't sure.

You couldn't truly love anyone again. You couldn't let yourself truly love anyone again. Ona had broken you, and wether it was for the better or the worse you didn't know. But you had a strong feeling it wasn't for the better.

A piece of you left with Ona the day she broke things off. You were confused, young and alone at the time. In a way you still were, you hadn't quite shed yourself of your previous naïvety.

But you were content at Real now.

Until Ona's transfer to Barcelona was announced.

It was something Ona had always dreamed about, going back to Barcelona. She’d tell you, “That club made me. They’re my home. And I promise you one day I’ll go back, with you,”

She'd say it with a smirk so charming and sweet you couldn't resist but to play into her fantasies. You would stay up all night talking to each other about everything you would do at Barcelona, how you would revolutionise the defending line.

Obviously that fell through. You went to Real Madrid instead, and you had always told yourself it was out of the need to leave; but you're fairly convinced you did it out of spite.

You felt your newly constructed life crumble around you the day you saw the news on instagram. You knew she was going to come back to Spain eventually, just like she had always planned. But you didn't think it would be this soon. She seemed happy at United.

Just your luck though, right?

Although the feelings you experienced when you saw the news alone at home was nothing compared to what you felt when you shook hands with her and met those beautiful brown eyes you thought were in your past again.

The same soft hands that had held you after harsh losses or great wins at Levante.

You never thought you'd hear her voice again. See her more often than you had to.

That match you kept your head down and did your job. And it paid off, Madrid won 3-2. Immediately after, you left for the locker rooms. But you heard the clacking of studs behind you and immediately knew who it was.

Ona. The love of your life Ona. The one who broke up with you without an explanation and over text Ona. The girl who you met when you were just a naïve young adult and had fallen in love with, was there. Stood before you, her big brown eyes glistening with unshed tears while yours were already streaming down your cheeks.

"Y/N." Her voice cracked. You winced and more tears fell, it took everything in you to not turn into a fit of sobs and cries right there and then.

"Batlle." You replied. Your voice was harsh and cold, albeit a little shaky and a tear fell down her cheek and her lip quivered as she sniffed. You fought back the urge to reach out and wipe her tears away.

"Y/N I need to explain myself, por favor." She pleaded. You felt like a giant dick for what you said next, but you said it anyway.

"Not a fucking chance. You broke me the day you left me, Ona. And to make matters worse? You did it over text with no fucking explanation," you paused, tears streaming faster, your voice trembling. You studied her face, searching for any sign of guilt or remorse, instead you were met with the sight of her looking to the ground.

"I need an explanation. Why, Ona? Why?" You said, your voice probably sounding needy now but you couldn't care less. Your mean facade had faded now and you shakily exhaled.

"I didn't want to hold you back," She said, her voice quiet and timid, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly as she held back her sobs.

"You didn't want to hold me back?" You repeat, she nods. Your sadness was replaced with a fiery hot rage that had been burning deep within you ever since that fateful day.

"You weren't fucking holding me back Ona! You never were! We had a system! We were fine!" You yelled, she flinched but you couldn't bring yourself to care. Too overcome with rage and anger to feel anything else.

"Y/N, please trust me when I say I didn't want to, but I knew I was holding you back, you were holding out for an offer from United, or Barca. I could tell-" you cut her off

"Did you ever fucking consider I was just happy at Levante?! I was captain for fucks sakes, Ona! I didn't want to leave that! I left because of you, I needed to get away from everything you!" You yelled, tears streaming down your face as Ona tilted her head back, wiping at her eyes.

"Y/N, I was right to do what I did. I mean, look at you! You're a star player for Madrid.." her voice broke again as she gestured to your grass stained Real kit.

"Right to do what you did?!" you screamed, she tilted her head to the side and shut her eyes, her lip quivering and her breathing shaky.

"I loved you, Ona! I still fucking do! I think I always will! Could you not have at least spoken to me first? Asked me if I needed space? Rather than breaking my heart and leaving me confused and trying to pick up the pieces for years?!" your anger had faded, the rage inside you simmering down now. Your upset and disappointment replacing the fury.

"Y/N-" she was cut off by you again.

"I hated you, you know?" you got out through gritted teeth, meeting her eyes as they widen and she stifled a choked sob, "Sometimes I think I still do. I hated the way everything reminded me of you. I hate the way I can't view fall the same as I used to anymore because it reminds me of your fucking eyes. But most of all, Ona?"

She looks at you, her brows furrowed and her lips tightly pressed together as they trembled while her shoulders shook ever so subtly as she suppressed her sobs.

"I hate the way I can't ever truly hate you."

And that was all it took, she broke down, mumbling apologies. But it was too late. You had retreated into your locker room, leaving Ona's Barcelona teammates to collect her.

You needed to heal. And now you had an explanation and closure, you finally could.

And the first step in that is letting go of the thing that hurt you the most. And for you, that just so happened to be the love of your goddamn life.

But it didn't matter. You would get through it.

***

Hi! Sorry. This was very sad, I was just in an angsty kinda mood haha. Also! English is not my first language so please feel free to correct my grammar lol. Hope you're all having a good day, night or afternoon and staying hydrated.

Yours truly,

author :)

[wileys-russo]

a practically perfect pair II l.wubben-moy x reader

tooth rotting fluff because you simply can’t convince me otherwise that lotte doesn’t give off the most wholesome, sweet and loving girlfriend energy

a practically perfect pair II l.wubben-moy x reader

3.9K words

you first met lotte when you were just fifteen.

you had both been selected for the under 17's lionesses junior euros, it was your first ever junior national call up and having been one of the only girls who hadn't played with the team before, you found yourself on the outs with the group.

it wasn't to say they purposefully left you out by any means, everyone was friendly and you felt welcomed. but not having been present for other camps or tournaments, there was inside jokes and stories shared which you just couldn't relate to, which lead to you feeling isolated from most of your team mates.

you'd always been more on the quiet introverted side and with so many large bubbly personalities in the team it was easy for you to blend into the background, something you didn't mind by any means feeling quite a sense of security from not being the centre of anyone's focus.

it did however mean you weren't starting for the first match of the tournament, and found yourself sat on the bench with a substitutes bib over your jersey which was easily two sizes too big for you.

you cheered and clapped and encouraged your team mates who were on the pitch, and kept your head down and listened intently during the half time speech, taking note of anything and everything on the rare chance you might be subbed on.

you weren't, but the girls came away with a win and you couldn't have been happier for them, exchanging hugs and congratulating them sincerely.

it was on the bus ride home that you had your first real interaction with lotte, you were sat up toward the front, the louder and more boisterous of your team mates always occupied the back and as we've established, you quite liked to blend in and avoid any unnecessary attention.

which was why you jumped out of your skin in shock as a body dropped down into the empty seat beside you, despite there being dozens of unpopulated rows.

"oh gosh im sorry! i promise i didn't mean to startle you." a toothy smile and messy mop of brown hair stared back at you guiltily as you softly assured her it was fine and you were just by nature quite a jumpy person.

"i don't think we've really had the chance to talk much, do you mind if i sit here?" the girl had asked a little quieter as you shook your head and her smile widened, dumping her backpack at her feet and buckling in as the engine roared to life.

you heard a few of the other girls calling out for her to come and sit with them but she waved them off as she pulled her hair back into a bun, assuring you before you could even open your mouth that she wanted to sit with you.

"hey you've got a little something..." the brunette started, pointing down to the collar of your jersey as you frowned and looked down, only for her finger to swipe up and knock at your nose as she grinned at you cheekily for the joke.

"i know we technically already know one another's names, but im lotte." the girl beamed, holding out her hand as you grinned and shook her outstretched palm, shoving her hand away as she poked at your nose and teased you for how easily you'd fallen for her previous joke.

"so i will admit i am an absolute sucker for a mystery, and right now you have to be the biggest one here. mind helping me solve it sherlock?" lotte requested playfully, leaning back on her headrest and looking at you expectantly.

"why most certainly watson." you quipped back with a shy smile and a giggle, lottes own smile widening at your answer, admittedly a little worried that she might have overwhelmed you with how suddenly and strongly she was coming on. 

the brunettes eyes twinkled with genuine curiosity toward the girl in front of her, who she had admittedly been staring after ever since she'd  joined the team. but seeing how reserved you were she didn't want to scare you off, though now spurred on by her friends and team mates who were also wanting to get to know you better without freaking you out if they came at you as a pack, here she was.

and from that first playful round of twenty questions on the bus back to the hotel the two of you quickly cemented into a close duo, one rarely seen without the other by their side or trailing far behind.

your blossoming friendship with lotte and the effortless charm and charisma that oozed from the older girl meant your own confidence grew in leaps and bounds, and though it took a little more time than with lotte you grew close with a small handful of the girls from that first national camp, in a group you all fondly nicknamed the good peeps.

the first real hurdle in your tight knit bond came a few years later when lotte made the decision to move to an american college. it was the best move to further her football career in a program that you had no doubt would help her absolutely thrive.

as much as both her, lois and alessia had begged you and some of the others in the group to make that same call, you weren't as brave as them and just couldn't commit from being so far away from your home and your family and your support system for so long.

the first few months of her being gone were fine, both of you one another's go to for absolutely anything and everything, especially the swapping of stories or news about your days and lives, you both scheduled in face times and phone calls and you were even in talks of booking a trip to go and visit her during your off season, having chosen yourself to commence training at the arsenal academy.

but as time passed lotte became more settled in her new life, the face times and calls turning into occasional texts, and you began to work harder to catch the eyes of the scouts for the senior clubs, desperate to earn yourself a proper professional contract, and both of your abilities to respond to the texts within a time zone that suited one another and encouraged and fostered an actual meaningful conversation lessened.

and at neither of your own faults, gradually the contact between the two of you dropped off entirely, the only communications a thoughtful but generic message for a holiday or a birthday, and before either of you could blink three years had passed and you'd finally signed your first professional contract with the arsenal women's senior team, and lotte was nearing the commencement of her final year of college.

unbeknownst to both of you the other would occasionally pop into dreams or thoughts, and lottes fingers would hover over your contact, wondering how you were doing and longing to hear the sound of your melodious laugh, but then someone would interrupt and require her attention and her phone would be hastily slid back into her pocket, the thought lost as she busied herself with study, football or social commitments.

you also occasionally found yourself scrolling through lottes social media, smiling proudly at her accomplishments and wondering what life would have been like if you'd followed along beside them, and your finger would hover over the direct message icon, but then you'd glance at the time and realise if you didn't leave now you'd be late for training or the bus to the match and the thought would be lost, promptly filed right into the back of your mind. 

everything changed again the day that you found out lotte had been offered a professional contact with arsenal, and was due to start pre season training with the team in just a few days now her signing had been officially announced.

you had of course seen both lotte and alessia's  decision to leave UNC early and return to england due to the ever increasing lockdown restrictions, and you'd commented a few sympathetic red hearts on both posts but hadn't interacted much more than that.

so you found your stomach tied up with knots as you sat lacing up your boots for the first training session of the pre-season, unsure if you were excited or dreading seeing the girl who you'd once considered basically an extra limb given how tightly you were attached to one another at all times.

you heard her voice before you saw her, the girl embracing a few of the older girls who she knew through the national teams, her confident laugh echoing across the locker room as the head trainer blew his whistle and everyone hurried out to the pitch.

of course that meant that the two of you were now left alone, stood up and staring one another down from across the room.

she'd gotten taller since you last saw her, always having had a few inches over you but now she'd evidently grown effortlessly into the long limbs you used to tease her for tripping over like a clumsy baby deer.

the baby fat from her face had also gone, her jawline now sharp and clearly defined. but her eyes, her eyes still remained the same twinkling cheeky orbs you grew up with, and as the corners of her mouth tugged up into a soft smile, you realised that was yet another feature which remain unchanged.

lottes own mind was also in overdrive taking you in in person for the first time in almost a few years. you'd also had a little growth spurt and had grown into your ears, ears which lotte had often tugged on and teased you for as they'd stuck out from your hair. your dimples remained the same in both corners of your mouth, your button nose scrunching up slightly as you returned her smile, as did the galaxy of freckles which dotted along the curvature of your nose, though your hair was a lot lighter and your skin a bit more tanned than she remembered. 

but overall, you were both still just you.

the gap rapidly closed between you you'd embraced one another in a tight hug, exhaling deeply at the familiar warmth which filled both your stomachs at one another's touch. whispering soft i missed you's and the murmurings of gentle apologies for the distance which had fallen between the both of you.

however wordlessly you both knew you felt the same, that despite that distance which had grown, in the current moment where you stood wrapped up in one another's tight embrace, it felt just like old times, and as if nothing had ever really changed.

it took half a year of lingering hugs that lead to butterflies in stomachs, hearts racing from the seemingly harmless but intimate tracings of one another's skin as you lay together in hotel beds on away matches chatting about nothing and everything, before you and lotte both realised that maybe something had changed between the two of you during your time apart.

which was that you had both accidentally but hopelessly fallen head over heels for one another, though neither of you had quite realised this yet yourselves despite almost everyone around you catching on immediately.

it was the longing glances that you both hoped the other would never notice, the way you would both curl up together on the bus home from matches, tired and aching limbs intertwined as you took turns listening to playlists you'd both curated for one another, chatting away amicably about whatever tv show you were both hooked on.

eventually, not to say it was without a loving but firm push from your friends and team mates, these growing feelings of affection for one another were finally confessed aloud in the comfort and privacy of your shared east london flat. this was then followed shortly by an incredibly forced and awkward first date, the two of you deciding right in that moment that you knew one another far too well to need to put yourselves through that agonising first stage of dating.

and from then on the rest seemed to blur into a slideshow of your shared life and memories together, one you both made sure stayed as private as you wanted without the pressure of it being entirely hidden.

it was how you found yourself hand in hand with the taller brunette, the two of you wandering slowly down the beach in the sunshine coast of australia, toes shoved into the soft sand of the foreign country.

both of you selected for your national teams World Cup squad you as a couple were overcome with joy and pride that it was an adventure you would get to experience right by one another's side.

"g! delete those, give the poor girls their privacy they've clearly gone off by themselves for a reason." keira shoved at her best friends shoulder as georgia snapped a series of photos of the two of you without your knowledge.

"what! its not like I'm gonna post them anywhere im just capturing the moment keira, ill send them the pictures and they can do as they please with them." the blonde rolled her eyes and placed the camera back around her neck, turning to watch the glorious sunset which was evolving before their very eyes, sending the sky a dizzying array of coral pinks and bright pops of daisy yellow and burnt orange.

"are we discussing mrs and mrs wubben-moy's impending wedding then!" ella appeared with a joking grin, dropping down on the soft sand in front of the pair, alessia not far behind as keira chuckled at her words.

you both of course were not engaged however it was a running joke within the team that it was an unnecessary step due to the fact you both behaved practically like an old married couple. 

"ive never met two people so practically perfect for one another, it's both really really lovely and really really disgusting." lucy piped up from the other side of georgia as the rest of the girls hummed in agreement, exchanging soft smiles as unbeknownst to you and your girlfriend they watched on fondly.

"hey!" lotte shouted with a gasp as you broke away from her, dropping her hand and playfully kicking water toward the older girl, dousing her legs and shorts with tiny droplets. "oh I'm so sorry love I tripped!" you gasped with an innocent smile, rapidly stepping backwards away from her as she advanced toward you with an amused shake of her head.

"lots no it was one small splash, please!" you begged as she quickly caught you, long arms wrapping around your waist and lifting you off your feet as you kicked and tried to pull away from her, the defender repeatedly threatening to drop you as she slowly waded deeper and deeper into the calm patch of sea.

"you do that and you'll be single before the kick off of this tournament wubben-moy!" you warned seriously as she faked dropping you, tightening her hold and jogging back into the shallower water, placing you back down on your feet on the sand with a cheeky grin as you smacked at her chest. 

"not the last name!" the brunette feigned a grimace of pain as she clutched at her heart and you rolled your eyes at her dramatic antics, a smile unable to be stopped gradually spreading across your face. "honestly babe you could quit football for acting." you clapped sarcastically as the two of you turned around and began the slow walk back toward the rest of your friends.

"now that's much better." lotte smiled, hands placing themselves on your cheeks and dipping her head to press her lips to your own, the sweet moment broken up by wolf whistles and jeers echoing across the beach from your friends. 

ella and alessia making kissy faces at the both of you your cheeks flushed pink and you buried your face in your girlfriends neck, feeling her body vibrating with quiet laughter at the teasing, her hand comfortingly rubbing at your back as you both embraced one another tenderly for a moment before breaking apart and returning to the group, all of you heading back toward the hotel for dinner.

you were laid down on the bed of your hotel room not quite asleep but eyes closed and belly full from a delicious feed, spirits high from an evening filled with the buzzing excitement radiating off your friends and team mates to finally be here in australia.

after dinner both you and lotte had spent some time bonding with the team before quietly slipping out of the games room, alessia and ellie having to sit on top of ella to stop her racing after you as soon as she noticed your absence, the stubbornly hotheaded midfielder wanting to demand a rematch of table tennis after you'd beaten her several times throughout the night.

the two of you the same age she was also one of the girls you'd grown up closest to, especially after the others had departed for america and she too had chosen to stay behind

though things between the two of you were quiet, silence had never been something uncomfortable for either of you. even just as friends in your youth you forever felt safe, loved and heard when around lotte as she did around you. and though of course over the years you had the occasional squabble over something, you prided yourselves on being able to communicate diplomatically and honestly to solve the root of whatever problem had surfaced.

"hello." you mumbled out tiredly feeling the bed dip beside you as lotte laid down, sketchbook left open on the other bed as she just took a second to take you in, eyes scanning your sleepy features adoringly before she pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead, you humming appreciatively at the sweet gesture.

you felt the older girl sit back up, your body tensing a little at the temperature shift as she gently lifted up the back of your top, a single finger tracing gently down the line of your spine. 

"my love may i please draw on your back?"

the request nothing new to you you simply made a noise of agreement, pushing your body up a little so lotte could properly tug your top so it sat hunched around your neck and you slumped back into the mattress, moving your arms to tuck securely under your head.

you felt lotte leave and heard her rummaging through her luggage for the correct supplies, eyes fluttering closed again as you exhaled deeply, nose twitching a few times as you did.

you heard the bed squeak slightly as lotte hopped back onto it, murmuring a quiet apology as she shuffled up the mattress toward your practically topless form and carefully settled her knees to rest either side of your hips.

"you can sit down baby it's fine." you breathed out, feeling how she was purposefully kneeling her body to hover just above yours, a hum returned in response before her weight actually settled down properly across the back of your thighs.

you tensed a little as you felt the first foreign touch of the marker on the exposed skin of your back, a gentle kiss placed behind your ear in apology as over time your body adjusted and the tension disappeared from your shoulders.

lotte humming something quietly to herself as she drew, the sound somehow only made you more tired, and before you knew it you'd peacefully dozed off. the older girl on top of you smiled at the action, heart melting at the relaxed expression on your face and the way your eyebrows would knit together every now and then, a silent way to confirm you were off deep in a dream somewhere, one which she hoped was nothing but pleasant for you.

around an hour and a half later she'd finished, shuffling herself back a little and laying down on top of you, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear and pressing feather light kisses to the back of your neck. you felt warm hands gently caressing your sides as you awoke, blinking slowly to zone back in and stretching a little underneath her, your girlfriend uttering a teasing good morning into your ear as you turned your head and mumbled that you'd like her to kiss you properly now.

with a soft smile and a chuckle lotte manoeuvred her body off of yours, hands grabbing at your hips protectively to steady you as you sat up and stretched again almost falling off of the bed as you did so, your top coming back down to cover your previously exposed torso as you did.

"what time is it?" you asked rubbing at your eyes and shuffling closer to the taller girl, pressing your face into her shoulder as arms wrapped tightly around you, her hand once again coming to rub comfortingly at your back as she muttered an answer into your hair.

"can I see?" you pulled away from her and gestured to your back, much more awake now as lottes eyes lit up and she nodded, quick to slide off the bed and offer you a hand up. fingers interlocking the taller girl practically dragged you into the bathroom, standing you in front of the mirror and tapping gently at your ribs, signalling for you to take your top off.

"oh wow..." you trailed off wordlessly as you twisted around and gazed down with wide eyes at the intricate pattern adorning your tanned skin. "it's beautiful, you're so incredibly talented it never ceases to amaze me, you never cease to amaze me." you spoke softly, eyes locked through the mirror with the taller girl stood behind you whose cheeks blushed a little with colour at the sincere compliment.

"you're so beautiful, my beautiful girl." lotte murmured in response, hugging you tightly from behind and burying her face in your neck, eliciting a small chime of laughter from you as a few loose strands of her hair tickled at your nose.

"don't tell me you've gone shy." you teased gently, the older girl pulling her head out of your neck and glaring at you playfully, craning her head around to steal a few sweet kisses before you turned in her hold, the two of you wrapping one another up in yet another tight hug, bound so close together each could feel the others heartbeat.

and though the comments from your friend were meant teasingly, lucy had been right.

together the two of you really were a practically perfect pair.

[batbabydamian]

so, Batman #147… rambling about the difference in how Zdarsky portrays the two current Robins

this is a fantastic run for Tim, and very much written like a return to form of what plenty consider the best dynamic duo, but even more so "the best Robin". once Damian's introduced in this run, Zdarsky really makes sure you still know that lol

1. "We don't need anyone else" VS "I need my family"

#147 clearly exemplifies the contrast, so i'll go through it first. Damian, having fallen for Zurr's lie and accepted him as the real Bruce, goes so far as to say in the very first page "We don't need anyone else." it's cold colors, machinery, and hollow declarations of "father and son" for these two.

towards the ending, Tim has deduced where the real Bruce is hiding and brings him food expecting Bruce's knack for self-neglect. it's all warmth, sunshine, and mutual understanding - also a cute back and forth of "Batman and Robin" between them. on top of this, where Damian isolates Batman & Robin from family, Tim is the one to remind Bruce about "helping each other." Bruce heartily agrees with "I need my family" for a weighty end.

along with this parallel, from #138 Tim makes it clear that even in opposition, he's only ever trying to help Bruce. Damian was still on the wrong side with Zurr-induced-Bruce here at the time too 😭

2. Tim's independence as both a hero and partner

Tim is written as the ideal Robin to Bruce's Batman, and has made Robin its own independent hero on equal footing rather than a sidekick - it's made in statements by both Tim and Bruce, and through the entire narrative. he takes initiative and tries to foresee what would ultimately help Bruce. beyond being great partners, there's many bits showing their emotional connection ("i'm scared of being lost, but i'm more scared of losing you, Bruce" hit me like a bag of bricks). tbh this almost could be a Batman and Robin run lol

added the first panel from #126 of Tim declaring he's his own hero outside of Bruce, proven plenty especially in his backups in #131-134!! the other panels are a few highlights from #128, #130, and #135 of the partnership between Tim and Bruce

granted it's Zurr, but Damian is mostly seen following orders and given pensive looking panels when there's something concerning. While Tim continued to represent Batman's ideals during his own solo quest to find Bruce, Damian doesn't question or take action against "Bruce's" sudden shift in ethics

Batman #134 Backup - Tim showing support toward Toyman VS Batman #146 - Zurr and Damian confront Harley as she pleads about her change of heart

another kiinda parallel in #147 is Bruce acknowledging Tim's hard work to become Robin compared to Damian who's out here going Batman and Robin/Father and Son. i don't think it's an intended parallel but just the state of continuing to show Tim in a better light - Tim put in the effort "to become the second-best Robin" while Damian is Robin because..."son." supposedly less effort on his part too, because LOA.

second pic is from Batman/Catwoman The Gotham War: Scorched Earth, felt fitting to add since Tim mentions needing to "know everything" in both. and the humble brag. which ofc Tim believes Dick is the best!! but also. jic we didn't know Tim is the best current Robin sdfgh

3. Damian's blind loyalty as "Bruce's son"

there's a weight to the Robin title when regarding Tim, whereas Damian's "Robin" role is excess and counterintuitive. he's delegated to desperate sidekick to Bruce, as well as becoming an obstacle to the family. being Robin only seems significant to Damian in how it ties himself to his father, and his single Robin quality is a loyalty that's been written to an extreme fault. the only positive angle i could see this in is Zdarsky aiming to put Damian in a sympathetic light in how far Damian was willing to fall to stay by his father's side, hence, fooled by that nightmare story/confession. the problem with this is that we have not seen a single emotional connection between the two in this run, so why should we care about that relationship.

also, Damian constantly bringing up his position as Bruce's son just makes him look entitled? since Bruce rightfully expressed his claim of having the others as his sons too (with the unfortunate exclusion of his daughter)! so it's like a "lol you're not that special" vibe when looking at it from the outside?? ykw concerning #138, Damian saying "You're the one trying to destroy my father" also could have been in contrast to Tim saying "We'll help our dad" at the end.

Zdarsky seems to believe the only meaningful part of Damian being Robin is he's the son of Bruce, and not a single nod to any noble aspect Damian's achieved beyond that. we're constantly reminded of Tim's greatest hits as Robin, from taking on the mantle to pull Bruce out of darkness (#135, #138), mastermind a whole takedown (Gotham War: Scorched Earth), and always being on the same wavelength with Bruce etc. the entire run sings Tim's praise, and it's deserved!! my problem is how it's in stark contrast to Damian's portrayal of being the other Robin who's only special because he believes he's the greatest son and wants to be at Bruce's side.

so all this to say, if your fav is Tim YOU'RE EATING WELL!! personally as a chronic enjoyer of things, this has been an entertaining run! as a chronic enjoyer of Damian, it's definitely not for many of his fans at this point in time.

i did like this part!! his grin!!

[echobx]

Timing - JJ Maybank × fem!reader

summary: reader is dealing with losing JJ after he went missing with the rest of the Pogues (end of s2! to start of s3!), leaving her and her heart behind

warnings: angst, visions of drowning (not detailed), delusions and visions because of malnutrition and depression

word count: 1.3k

author's note: I write angsty shit when I'm depressed. it's a theme.

You're curled up in your bed, eyes burning red, nose runny, mouth slightly agape. The alarm clock on your nightstand reads 2:48am and you watch the minutes run.

Your dream has destroyed your peace. Peace as much as anyone can call your state of being such. There is nothing peaceful about the depression you have fallen into, nothing quirky about the way your body trembles at every touch, always reminded of him.

2:49am.

You know you should drink something to regain a tiny bit of strength and maybe fall back asleep, but when you drink you'll just be able to cry even more. So you don't. Maybe if you refuse to, it will end faster.

2:50am.

The branch outside your window keeps knocking against the glass. The same dull noise that his knuckles made almost every night. But you know it's not him. You know he's gone.

2:51am.

Maybe a shower would help. But you'd have to get up for that, so it's a no for the shower. No one there to jokingly say, “you're gonna shower without me, princess?”

2:52am.

If you'd look out of the window you'd see his bike, parked in the same spot where he'd left it that day. Quickly stopping by to tell you about a new lead. Telling you to not worry. Telling you to stay home because it probably meant nothing, and after all, it's too dangerous, he'd kill himself if something happened to you.

2:53am.

And your mind drifts back to sleep, exhausted from the pain and malnutrition.

��I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you, my love,” JJ is standing in front of your house. He looks as pretty as ever. Cut off shirt, cargo shorts, boots, his favorite red cap on backwards and a sorry smile on his face. But when you jump forwards into his arms you fall and you fall and fall and fall. Drowning, really. Sinking to the bottom of the ocean. His lost treasure, truly.

Maybe that's what you had signed up for unknowingly. A life of pain because you fell in love with a boy who couldn't sit still for the life of him.

“Hey, shhh, it's okay. I'm right here,” JJ’s voice is like music to you and when you open your eyes he's holding you close in his arms.

“Is this real? Are you really here?” you ask, close to tears.

“Of course I'm here. Where else would I be but with my favorite girl,” he laughs softly and kisses your forehead, but you can't feel it.

“This is a dream,” you remind yourself and sit up.

“Does it matter? I'm here now. You have me. Isn't that enough?” JJ asks and you press your hands to your ears and cradle your body, swinging back and forth in your seat.

“Not real. Wake up. Wake up!” you tell yourself and after some time it finally works.

The alarm clock reads 4:21am.

The sun is coming up soon. You think about how real it had felt before he had kissed you. You think about how much more comfortable it had been to drown than to be alive.

4:22am.

Maybe it's the dumbest thing ever, love. It's just too painful. You could do good without love.

4:23am.

Your favorite shirt of his doesn't even smell like him anymore.

4:24am.

In ten minutes it'll be four weeks that your parents had woken you up in panic to make sure you hadn't vanished the same way your friends had.

4:25am.

Your feet carry you to your closet. Getting dressed is methodical.

4:26am.

He left his keys. “So I have no choice but to come back to you, princess.”

4:27am.

You know your parents will wake up when they hear the engine of the bike, so you decide to push it for a bit, down the road and then you can get on.

4:28am.

He didn't park in neutral. Stupid boy. Stupid stupid boy who stole your stupid stupid heart.

4:29am.

The engine is louder than you expected. You see the lights turn on inside your home, but you're already gone by the time your parents have realized what you are doing.

4:30am.

Cold air stings when it shoots right into your teary face.

4:31am.

The sun is coming up in the distance, it's beautiful. You remember doing this with JJ. Staying up all night and driving around to see the sunset and come up again.

4:32am.

You stop at a red light although no one is there. JJ had started touching your ankles on the pegs every time he had to stop.

4:33am.

The Shack is sitting lonely at the sound. The hammock’s empty, the porch lonely and the pick-up orphaned.

4:24am.

Breaking and Entering is illegal actually. Not that you care, you've done worse with JJ by your side. You need a new shirt, maybe the ones in the closet here still smell like him. You need it like a drug addict seeks the next kick.

4:25am.

One month and no life sign. You should stop hoping. Stop wishing. Stop. “JUST STOP” you scream and fall down on the bed.

4:26am.

“I'm not even doing anything,” JJ whispers from next to you.

“Leave me. I don't want to love you anymore. It hurts so much. Please,” you cry and curl up on the bed, holding onto the shirt.

“I can't. You know why,” he whispers, lying opposite of you.

“I don't want it,” you cry and screw your eyes shut.

“All you gotta do is let go,” JJ whispers.

“I don't know how to not love you,” you hush and reach out for him, but there's nothing there. You're alone.

6:34am.

Ghosts don't know how to make dishes clatter.

6:35am.

You pinch yourself before walking out of the bedroom, making sure it's not another dream.

6:36am.

It has to be a dream. Gotta be. No other explanation.

6:37am.

He hasn't turned around yet. It's a dream. It's a dream, has to be. 5.3% chance that he's real, maybe less.

6:38am.

You take the baseball bat that stands next to the bedroom door in your hand. Ghosts don't feel pain.

6:39am.

You don't know what hurts more, JJ's head or your heart.

6:40am.

“Jesus fucking Christ, who the fuck is trying to murder-” he spins around, one hand still holding onto the bat to stop it from hitting him again.

6:41am.

You can hear your head hitting the wooden floor as you go down.

11:57am.

Hospital beds are not comfortable. The lights are harsh. Your head is screaming.

11:58am.

Someone is holding your hand. Rings, familiar ones at that. You blink slowly. How is this real?

11:59am.

“My ghost keeps torturing me,” you whisper and he turns his blonde head around to you. Furrowed brows and blue eyes stare back at you.

12:00pm.

“You got ghosts? Can I get one too?” JJ smiles and you shake your head.

“You're my ghost, there's no ghost who needs ghosts.”

“Could a ghost do this?”

12:01pm.

His lips are pressed to yours and you can feel it. Hot and heavy and not a dream. Not a Dream. Not. A. Dream.

12:02pm.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave like that, and when we came back I wanted to clean up first. But you got to me quicker,” JJ whispers. “I wish I could turn back time and take you with me.”

12:03pm.

I love you's are underrated. You could hear him mumble it against your lips until you die. And when you say it back he smiles wider.

12:04pm.

Your parents yell at you for running out, but you don't care, you have your ghost. And this time, everyone else can see your ghost too. Everyone can see how much he loves you, and you him.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @princessmaybank @kys4-20 @drwstarkeyy @immyowndefender @julczimozart

[sage-green-matcha]

WHAT WAS I MADE FOR? - ETHAN LANDRY ✨

“Cause I, I don't know how to feel. But I wanna try. I don't know how to feel, but someday I might” - Billie Eilish

Content includes: Reader with depression, Ethan Fluff! Ethan helping you heal! Angst ig?

A/n: I’m so excited for the Barbie movie! I rlly wanted to write something with Billies song, just because she means so much to me! My first fanfic ever was a Billie one, it was horrible! Anyways, to anyone who feels stuck or in a slump just know you’ll be okay. There’s people who love and appreciate you even if you don’t feel it. I’ll always be here if any of you guys wanna talk! My request box is always open! ILY guys sm 💛

<3

<3

<3

You felt horrible. You had fallen into a deep hole that you couldn't get out of. You didn't even attempt to try. You missed many classes, your friends becoming concerned for you. You didn’t know what to do with life anymore. It had all collapsed down on you, you just couldn’t take it anymore.

You didn’t know your purpose in life. You were mentally stuck and you didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t communicate your feelings because you didn’t understand them anymore.

You were happy, and you knew you could be happy again. You wanted to go back in time, fix everything and anything that went wrong. Just so you could save yourself from feeling this way.

Ethan Landry was the only one who could get you out of your slump. He knew exactly what to say, even if it didn’t always come out perfectly. “It’s okay…to feel like that. I mean you don’t always have to be perfect, Y/n. We love you for you” his shirt would soak up your tears, keeping you company as you cried. You felt safe with him. He didn’t judge or ignore you. He actually listened and gave his opinion on things. He was helping you heal and you didn’t know how. It was just Ethan being his usual self that helped you.

“Wanna go out on a drive?” Ethan stood at your room door with keys in hand, a baggy of your favorite snacks in the other. “Yea” your smile was brittle but it was still for him, and it made him melt every time you showed it.

“How’d you feel today?” You played with the strings of your hoodie, head laid back on the car seat. “Okay, I think? Sam and Tara were fighting all day, which made me annoyed. And then I was sad I think, or frustrated because they literally wouldn’t shut up” he was amazed at how trusting you were with him. You vocalized your feelings way better than before.

“I think I forgot how to be happy” a small frown was on your face, heavy bags under your eyes from lack of sleep. Ethan looked at you with concern, closing his laptop so all attention would be on you. “You can talk to me about whatever, okay…? I understand how you feel. I’ve been there before Y/n. It’s not easy to get out of but you can do it. I know you can” his words made you melt, providing comfort and warmth with each one.

You told him everything about yourself, he collected all the information and stored it in his heart. “Why were they fighting? I’m assuming Tara’s therapy?” “Mhm, she’s been acting different” you mumbled, your arm holding up your head as you looked out the window. The air blew through your hair, the warm New York air bringing you comfort.

“Can I take you somewhere?” You could tell he was nervous when he asked you. “Depends on where you’re taking me” “You’ll see” Next thing you knew he had you climbing up some sort of small mountain, taking a look at your surroundings once you got to the top. “The Hollywood sign? Real original, Landry” he smiled as you teased him, sitting down on the dead grass below.

“I like it up here. You can see everything” Your head rested on his shoulder, Ethan placing his jacket around you. He was blushing as you looked up at him, a thankful expression on your face. “How long have you been coming here for?” “Maybe a year now, since we started talking” Your curiosity got the best of you, having to ask why.

“I needed to like…I guess remember you. How pretty you are and…uh, stuff” You held back a giggle, watching as he stumbled over his words. “Cause you know! The view from here is so pretty…it’s pretty. Like you” he cleared his throat, thankful that the lights were off. If they were on you would’ve been able to see his red face, embarrassed at what he has just told you.

You found it so cute, pushing yourself closer to him, his arm gently wrapping around your waist. “Thanks, Eth, for everything. You’ve helped me so much…I” you held back on your words. You knew it was weird, to confess your love to him. Especially now, you had found someone who understood every part of you and you didn’t wanna risk getting that taken away.

“You…you what?” He gulped and you shook your head, trying to avoid the question. “Oh come on Y/n, you have to tell me now” “I can’t, it’s weird” he knew nothing you could say was weird. Even if it was a little, he would still validate you with his opinion.

“Just tell me” You shook your head, hiding your smile in his chest. “Okay, how about this? I’ll tell you something first?” “Okay, but it’s probably not as weird as my thing” he scoffed, his nose taking in the soft scent of your shampoo.

The silence killed you, even if it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. Your heart pounded harder with each second that went by, hoping it was the same thing you wanted to say. “I love you, Y/n. I know I do” his eyes were closed tightly, looking at him in amusement.

"You do?" "Yea, I'm sorry" A scoff fell from your lips, pulling him by his collar down to yours. He followed your rhythm, lips latching on perfectly to each other. He tasted so sweet, and gentle. like his personality.

"I love you too" he scanned your face with a smile, grabbing your jaw gently before taking you in for another kiss. "How do you feel now?" you bit back your lip, holding a smile. "I'm happy Eth, you make me happy"

“Think I forgot, how to be happy. Something I’m not, but something I can be. Something I wait for, what was I made for?” - Billie Eilish <33

[queer-reader-07]

a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

--

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

--

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

[dira333]

Want to love you - Akaashi x Reader

requested by @ur-local-simp , tagging @luvring because I'm legally obligated to do so when it's about Akaashi

The letters aren't even necessary. Akaashi lives down the street, if you want to talk to him you can waddle up to his front door, knock and ask for him to play with you.

But you like letters, the crinkling sound they make, how they smell - yes, you may have overused your mom's perfume, but this is important! - or the fact that you can keep them, a literal moment of a moment shared.

Your school doesn't offer a penpal program. But Akaashi's there to help you out. If you write him, he'll write you back.

You don't go to the same school, so there's always something to write about. Sometimes you even write them together, words hidden from view by a hand held up, until it's time to fold them up and hand them over.

Years pass. Some of your letters travel greater distances. A postcard from the beach, a letter from the countryside, a two-day trip to Korea with your parents.

Akaashi's not one to travel. At least not physically. He reads a lot. Some of his letters are memories of the stories he's moved through and what moved him about them. Some - those are read more often - are his own stories, his ideas brought to paper, brought to life.

He's good at it. He doesn't think so, though.

But this is life. Akaashi who overthinks, who doubts and tries to make sure that nothing ever fails and you, who just jumps ahead, believing and trusting that everything will turn out alright.

But there's still one thing where you cannot risk it. Love.

Because what if you don't love him enough?

-

Tomorrow you're going to leave for your six-month internship. It's your dream job and yet so far away. Korea is only a short flight away but you've never been separated from Akaashi for so long.

What if he forgets you? What if you forget him? What if all these nights of dreaming of being with him don't measure up to the real world?

And it's late, you should get the sleep you'll definitely need tomorrow, but you just can't fall asleep. Your friends have said goodbye, your things are packed, you can hear your parents snoring through the thin walls, but you're still up, twirling a pen in your hands as you think... and think... and start to write.

Dear Akaashi

Beloved

Keiji,

I love you. Have always loved you. And I don't know if I will, don't know if I should, but I'm pretty sure I'll always want to love you.

You're the best friend anyone could wish for. The love of your life should be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and I can't remember the last time I wanted to spend a day apart.

I'm scared Keiji.

You stop, wipe away the tear that has fallen on the paper. Your hand shakes as you pen down the last few lines.

I'll be back. Braver. Different. Still in love with you.

Wait for me?

-x-

"Oh, Keiji, your friend was here." His mother greets him at the door. "She said she had to catch her flight, but she forgot to give this to you."

He's not surprised to be handed an envelope. Hundreds of those are up in his room, tied together by strings, only to be opened when he feels at his lowest.

He's almost determined to read it later when he's able to breathe a bit lighter, when the reality of your departure has sunken in.

But he can't wait, rips the envelope open with shaking fingers. Something in him urges him to do so even as his mother stands and watches, mumbling something about dinner being ready in a minute.

The paper sails to the floor as he understands and he almost keels over as he catches it before it lands.

"Everything okay?" His mother asks. Behind him there's a knock on the door, the unmistakable voice of his best friend. "Kaashi? Do you wanna come train with me for a bit?"

"I need to get to the airport," he bursts out, almost forgetting his jacket on the way out. "Bokuto, we need to go. What's the fastest way to the airport?"

-

He's too late.

He knows it. Even Bokuto knows it, though he still urges him on. They race to the Check-In Line and Bokuto jumps up and down trying to spot you in the crowd. He's almost ready to scream your name, even breathless as he is when Bokuto grabs his shoulder, pointing at the thick glass walls separating them from the other side.

"There!" He says and Akaashi nods. He can see it too.

His hands shake as he types your number, feeling more than just a little dumb he didn't think of it sooner.

You pick up after the first ring just like he thought you would. He can see you checking your phone after all.

"Akaashi?"

"Keiji," he chokes out. "You need to call me Keiji. Like in your later."

You make a small sound in the back of your throat and he chokes too.

"I can see you," he points out, feeling every bit the lunatic that he is. "Turn around. Can you see us waving?"

And they must be a spectacle, Bokuto in his team colors and he in his sweater vest combo, waving like maniacs until you notice them in the crowd.

"I want to love you too," he says when you wave back, seemingly unable to speak. "For the rest of our lives. I didn't think-"

"I'm coming back," you sob and he can see you walk against the stream of people. Your face disappears in the crowd.

"No," he argues. "No, you need to do this. You need to go. This is your dream job."

"But-"

"I love you," he breathes out and it's suddenly easy. Because this is you and this is him. There's nothing difficult about this.

"And we can make this work. It's just six months."

"But what if it doesn't work out?" You ask and he turns to look at his best friend.

"Bokuto," he asks, "What did you tell me during the Nationals of your third year? Do you remember?"

"Oh!" Bokuto beams and leans in to tell you: "It's not impossible. It's just hard."

"And with you," Akaashi adds, "It's easy."

[maitanii]

[BONTEN HEADCANONS]

AN: I love Bonten, and I wish we could have had more info about the organization. But I know how sad it must have been to everyone there. They were empty and no one accomplished their dreams. These are just my thoughts and headcanons about them <3

my masterlist!

- Ran doesn't sleep as much as he used to. In fact, he usually sleeps around 3 or 4 hours per night. The slightest sound makes his body be on full alert mode. The first thing he does when he wakes up is text Rindou.

- Kokonoi doesn't sleep. He can't. Sanzu gave him some pills so he could just take a nap for 1 hour but he refused. His nightmares are way too real and he knows if he closes his eyes, he will have one again.

- Rindou lives under Ran's apartment. They both decided that they wanted independence but still keeping the security of being close to each other. At first he thought that it was the best thing ever, but after getting inside of Bonten... it wasn't that great. (he sleeps in Ran's couch from time to time).

- Kakucho's apartment is completely empty. He doesn't need any decoration or extra furniture. His futon, a bathroom and a kitchen is all he needs. He doesn't even know who he is anymore, why decorate a bunch of white walls?

- Kokonoi lives close to a shop called D&D motors. What a coincidence.

- I said it before but Mochi is the only executive I can picture marrying someone (maybe it's because I don't know too much about him). He lives with his wife in a penthouse full of security cameras. Sometimes he can sense the sadness in his partner's eyes and thinks about leaving them so they can live a happy life. But now, they're fully into the criminal path in life, and there's no turning back. They know who they are.

- Sanzu doesn't have a daiy routine. Most of his days are a blur and he's only conscious after he kills someone. And its not because he's high all time, but because he disassociates a lot from reality. Sometimes he can't distinguish if something happens in real life or if it was all in his mind. Mikey slaps him in the face when he sees that he's not here, and Rindou brings him a glass of water and something to eat.

- Aside from Mochi, they don't have a love life. Sure they have fallen love or had a crush, but at the end of the day, they're still the same guys who have a sense of loyalty and will to protect who they love. So they chose to not commit to anyone. It's better that way.

- Rindou shared some nights with a woman some 5 years younger than him. She used to make him food and offer him to take some leftovers when he left. He realized he fell in love when he spent a whole night at her place cuddling and watching movies. He finally felt the same joy he did when he was 17. So after he left her apartment the next morning, he broke his phone so she wouldn't contact him again. And he never turned back.

- Kakucho used to frequent a bar in Tokyo because he had business to do with some big guys who owned the place. It was all going according to the plan. But then he saw a waitress being harassed by a man while he was having a conversation and he lost all the concentration. Excusing himself from the table, he went straight to the man and punched him in the face. The girl looked at him with teary eyes and thanked him a thousand times. After he returned to the table, he gave some extra money to the owners of the bar so they can free that girl from the job. He left the place after making the deal that Mikey ordered to him and never returned.

- Ran fell in love with a single mother and the moment he met her kid, he knew it was over. Either he left in that moment, or he stayed with them (and made their lives more complicated). He left an insanely amount of cash with them to pay everything until the kid was 18 and never looked back. Sometimes he lies awake at night wondering about what could have been.

- I'm sorry but Mikey is a virgin. I can't picture him having a high libido while being in such a depressing state.

- Sanzu... he's complicated. Sure he hooks up with some random people from time to time but he thinks he has never fallen in love. And if he did, he wasn't aware that was love.

- Kokonoi only sleeps with blond people. He searches for someone that's not here anymore, but maybe if he drinks more wine, he'll be able to see her face and hear her voice again.

- About their accidents and close to death experiences, they all care about each other in some kind of level. Mikey made clear that their interests come first, but they can't help it. So when someone is shot, even if they have to continue the mission, they know better than to leave them to die. (I don't think this applies to Takeomi tho)

- Rindou was once shot twice while he was on a mission with Kakucho and Kokonoi. They both knew they couldn't leave him to die. Kakucho threw his body over his shoulder and ran to the car while Kokonoi made sure no one was following them. They don't know how they did it, but Rindou arrived alive to the headquarters. Ran didn't speak that night. After he made sure Rindou will be okay, he went to see Kakucho and Koko and bowed his body as low as he could.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 5)

Most see this as a Staroba moment (not saying it's wrong to see it that way), but I'm like: why is Star’s first thought after he is brutally kicked to casually admit how he deserved to be hurt that much? He could have fallen to his death! Like, dude, stop. You're breaking my heart. Just look at how chill he sounds:

no starlo.. please be more gentle with yourself And then he says how his and Ceroba's mistakes were the same?

How??

What she did was MUCH MUCH worse. It's like comparing Papyrus to Alphys or Asgore. And I don't even hate Ceroba, or Asgore, or even Alphys. They're all flawed but well-written characters (gonna discuss the fox woman soon) But like… Ceroba not only had time to process things (and plan everything) but got support from Star. He didn't get either. The posse and Ceroba all left him hanging, all because of his enthusiasm and insecurities (that somehow nobody ever picked up on; the struggle of people who always seem happy is real) and good intentions. His entire life fell apart without him expecting it, all at once. Even worse, no one who was supposed to be there WAS there. And when Ceroba finally intervenes she basically reveals to us how North Star was someone no one liked?

I really hope she meant just who he was while Clover was there. Otherwise….

She better not be saying that, for the years this persona existed, they all hated it. That they hated this part of Star, the insecure part. They obviously wanted him to go back to being the Nice Guy™ (but like, he was always nice. The only time he was overly enthusiastic was when he met a real human for the 1st time and got to live his dream. Ceroba basically says how, well, the guy’s lived a pretty unfulfilling life before he found out about westerns. They gave his entire life meaning. She should have been more patient with him istg.)

Ceroba’s actions were manipulative. She never planned to tell anyone the truth. She wouldn't have told anyone the truth, EVER, if Star and Ed hadn't found out about her secret. Starlo on the other hand felt lost, since he got 0 support. Ceroba had Star. He gave her a free home. He was so thoughtful as to think "my childhood friend is currently crying herself to sleep, alone at home, why not give her company and ask her to stay with us?" Ceroba got a hug from Clover, lots of understanding from the kid, Martlet and Starlo. She got easy forgiveness. Star had to make up to his group himself and be the only one who apologizes. Even though they’d been gaslighting him (is that the right word for this situation?) for years apparently, or didn't let him enjoy himself for once in his life (depending on how you choose to interpret it). He even said sorry for forgetting to turn off the rock machines. Yeah, he deff goes back to Nice Guy™ AND does it pretty damn quickly when you think about it, after how much he was forced to deal with all at once ALL BY HIMSELF before Ceroba came and lectured him for the most part. He really is emotionally strong

yeah, ceroba didn't comfort star like this when he was at his lowest (bonus points for him soothing her all while grieving for the child he clearly saw as his own)

Even though she thought she was doing the right thing, Ceroba was a twist villain. Starlo was no villain. He just really hated himself, was glad to find someone who could understand both his passion and his beliefs (aka Clover), really wanted to finally feel useful and expected others to enjoy his fantasy world as much as he did. As a farmer he felt like he couldn't do anything for himself and his community. He only wanted to help the best he knew and got carried away.

[normal-internet-user]

Hello! Can I plz ask for the ROTTMNT brothers (separately) react to their s/o being cute and innocent? Like they love watching animated movies, become a blushing mess if there's a kissing scene or in real life, love to draw, cook/bake, and dance, also are curious about everything. Oh, and they don't understand dirty jokes and if someone curses they put a hand over their mouth and look flabbergasted. They also are shorter than them and have small hands.

THIS IS GONNA BE SO CUTE I'M CRYING!!

RISE BOY'S WITH AN INNOCENT S/O

Mikey:

Oh mi gosh,

You two are the most wholesome couple this side of anywhere.

Literally two peas in a pod.

Disney movies every movie night,

You bake together,

You draw together,

And he loves watching you dance around.

One of your favorite things to do is to walk around the city at night,

Just to see what you'll find.

He loves how easily flustered you are,

He thinks it's just the cutest!

Mikey thinks it's hilarious how shocked you get when someone swears.

You'd think someone just killed your grandmother!

The first time it happened is a treasured memory for the whole family.

Leo had fallen off his skateboard and smacked his face on the ground.

"Shit!"

*Le gasp* "Language! Oh my gosh!"

Everyone just kinda looked at you then started laughing.

Mikey loves how much shorter than him you are.

I mean sure, it's only a few inches,

But he likes to rest his head ontop of your's.

Leo loves to make "That's what she said" jokes around you,

Mikey hates it,

He's scared you'll lose your innocence.

But everytime Leo goes, "That's what she said!"

You'll just look at him and say, "That's what who said? Who is 'She'? And why won't anyone tell me for gosh sake??"

"I'll tell you when you're older Cutie Pie."

You and Mikey are literally the sweetest couple, like, ever!

Donnie:

He finds your innocence impressive.

With the excistence of the internet,

He assumed there were no innocent teenagers left.

But you are on a whole new level of innocent.

And he thinks it's adorable.

Donnie does his best to shield you from Leo's jokes,

Because he is not about to let you be ruined by his brothers' crude sense of humor.

So imagine his surprise when you come ask him what one of these jokes mean.

He looks at you,

Then sighs,

You look at him confused as he stands up and grabs his tech bo

"NARDO!"

*Que screaches of fear*

Donnie loves that you dance too.

You guys have small disco parties every Saturday night.

He also loves how naturally curious you are,

Because it usually leads to him answering your endless questions about a ceratain topic.

But he doesn't mind.

He likes it when you ask him questions.

He also thinks its adorable how easily you get flustered.

Especially when it's over something as little as a movie scene.

He will tease you,

Just to fluster you even more.

And holy truffle mac & cheese,

You're so small!!

He has a habbit of resting his elbow on your head.

Kinda like how he leans on his tech bo.

You'll usually wave him off, and grab his hand instead.

Raph:

Raph loves your innocent nature.

It just plays into how sweet you are,

And Raph loves him some sugar.

He's more than happy to participate in your hobbies,

Especially if it means you're trying to teach him something new.

You just look so cute when you're concetrating!

Like Donnie,

He does his best to keep you from Leo's awful jokes,

And like you,

He isn't very fond of swearing.

He'll act just as flabberghasted as you if one of his brothers were to swear.

Like, ExCuSE mE??

WaTcH YoUr MouTh YoUnG MaN!

Now when it comes to how much smaller you are than him,

It really depends on the day for how he feels about it.

On the one hand,

You are so tiny and adorable and he could just hug you for hours like holy crap.

Then on the other hand,

He is terrified he'll hurt you.

Human skin is just so friggin fragile,

And he doesn't want to be the reason you're in pain.

Just make sure your sweet self reassures him,

He'll get over it pretty quick with your help.

Leo:

Oh my god, this boy teases you endlessly.

His favorite thing ever is to make you all flustered and stuff.

Whenever you two watch movies together he'll always pick some cheesy romance flick,

Just so he can watch you hide your face in your shirt whenever something romantic happens.

Leo loves baking with you.

Even if he's only allowed to watch.

(He set the kitchen on fire the last time he tried to actually help and in turn was perma banned from cooking.)

He likes trying all the sweet treats you bake up for everyone.

He also enjoys making jokes he knows you won't understand,

Because you look so cute when you're confused,

Your face gets all scrunched up while you try to figure out the joke,

And to him it's the cutest thing in the world.

Leo likes it when you freak out over swearing,

He thinks its funny.

You'll fan yourself with your hand all taken aback.

And your voice goes up an octave when you adress it,

"PARdon me?"

"I said fuck, (Name)."

"LANGUAGE!"

*Wheeze*

............................................

[ankles-be-bitten]

i may have fallen victim to the curse of the Bad Aziraphale Take with this post, so i'd like to right my wrongs:

i still agree with this, however i would like to add some insight: the metatron is definitely orchestrating their falling out. he knows exactly what he's doing & he knows that he can't control aziraphale as long as he has crowley on their side--that's emotional abuse 101. the victim is isolated from their real support systems, and the only place they have left to turn is their abuser. i believe that aziraphale knows what he's doing, and that he's just going along with heaven as far as he can in order to protect his demon, but from the metatron's perspective things have to look like they're going according to plan.

i think... maybe this is only half true? not sure what i was thinking when i wrote this; it was late. whatever.

crowley is an optimist, but he clearly had his doubts about how aziraphale would respond, which is indeed based in reality. aziraphale doesn't have a great track record as far as assuming the best of him in the moment (which, i must add, isn't his fault. it is one of his flaws, however). i think the important thing is that he trusts aziraphale to do the right thing in the end.

i still agree with this. however, i want to acknowledge that i felt this was unfair at the time, but in retrospect i was ignoring aziraphale's dependency on external validation that crowley does not have. crowley is far more independent than aziraphale, and i acknowledged this, but i framed it originally as "crowley has an unfulfilled need," rather than what i now think it really is, which is that AZI has an unfulfilled need.

yeah, there it is. different people, different needs.

as far as it being strange that aziraphale didn't pick up on what crowley needed in that moment right away, i do still feel that way--sort of. i honestly at this point just want to pin it down to him being excited.

whatever you have to say can wait--we have all of eternity to say whatever we want, in complete security. we won't have to hide. we can be together. and he wants so badly to be together. that's literally all he wants. he wasn't even a little interested in returning to heaven until the metatron told him that crowley could tag along. this is manipulation 101, people! the metatron knows, or at least can intuit, that crowley wouldn't want to become an angel again. he knows exactly what he's doing to them. this is not a good faith offer.

most of the rest of that post is me rambling about my interpretation of aziraphale's actions and the reasoning behind them. feel free to read the full take if you'd like, but i don't believe it's necessary to break down the whole thing. it mostly boils down to aziraphale needs to see people as people before he can respond properly to their needs. i may or may not still agree with that, i'm on the fence, but if that is the case, it's 100% because heaven has conditioned him to be that way. you need to earn salvation, you need to earn love, you need to earn humanity.

i originally used job as a counter example, but he may actually be a paragon of this interpretation. if anyone deserves salvation, it was job--righteous job, level-headed job, job who lost everything but never, ever lost faith in the Almighty. if anyone has earned aziraphale's sympathy, it's him.

this is just a wonky take. he does care, or else he wouldn't be making the offer. interrupting crowley might have been selfish in the short-term, but to aziraphale, the long-term result is eternity together unhindered. they will have all the time in the world to be an us if they can only get out from under the watchful, dangerous, probing eye of heaven.

i think i was getting close to the point here, but i was still framing it from the perspective that aziraphale had woefully wronged crowley, and that he's not also a victim of the system here. i was in far less certain terms falling into the "aziraphale is naive" trap, when in reality he just wanted to be safe. as archangel, he can do as he pleases without fear of retribution. he has never, ever felt safe before--not safe to ask questions, not safe to be seen with crowley, not safe to run off to alpha centauri with him. blaming him for prioritizing crowley's safety is more than a little silly.

this is just... the ick. it feels like a whole other person wrote this. i am trying so hard to give myself grace for this absolutely rot-gut take.

yikes. yikes yikes yikes. i'm not sure anymore if crowley has ever expressed a pointed distaste for being an angel again; that may just be misguided on my part. somehow i'm victim-blaming both of them here, while also completely misrepresenting aziraphale's intentions. i'm falling into the "he doesn't love crowley enough/the way he deserves" trap, painting him once again as naive, blind, and selfish. oopsie daisy.

i still believe the kiss was an offer akin to the ox rib, extremely alcoholic breakfasts, what have you. it's possible crowley doesn't feel seen--i might even go so far as to say that that's likely--but not in the way i stated originally. he's heartbroken. he's devastated. he might even feel betrayed. but just because he feels that way doesn't make it the truth, and i think a mistake i've made throughout this particular text is mistaking how aziraphale's actions look from the outside for his actual intentions.

i think this was mostly right up until the part about azi being selfish. he's far from selfish, he's not even close to naive. assuming he made a mistake in the f15 at all, he absolutely knows it now. he will do anything it takes to be with crowley.

at the time of this addendum i think he's made a Plan™ and is trying to convince himself he's made the right choice. all will make sense in the end. or maybe it won't. we'll figure it out--some things take time, and we don't have all the information.

i do believe that about covers it. in summary, they are both victims and treating either of them like they're naive or stupid for making the choices they did is unfair because they're both doing the best they can with the information they have available to them. it's heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and really, really unfortunate. but it's neither of their fault. it's literally all the metatron. if heaven and hell were out of the picture, crowley would've been free to confess and aziraphale free to reciprocate--but that's just not their reality. everything aziraphale does is in order to keep crowley safe, in the interest of us long-term. crowley knows he has a hard time expressing himself, and so he wants to get it out fast, and that's valid; aziraphale having reservations due to safety concerns is just as valid.

it's neither of their fault.