#i don't wanna say too much cause nothing has happened quite yet but like

[hotmess-exe]

the talk with my stand-up teacher was amazing!!! i'm prob gonna be bringing up that comedy debate show a shit ton in coming months :]]]

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Could you do some headcanons of a Mc reader dating the BB League Elite 4 + Kieran but miraidon gets super jealous.

It gets to the point where they get out of their Pokeball to growl á them.

Amarys

While she isn't too good at expressing emotions herself, she can read the emotions of others quite well.

Apparently this extends to Pokémon, especially after she notices your Miraidon acting rather irate around her. It even got to the point where they kept bursting from their pokeball to growl at her whenever you're together.

"It seems your Agias has suddenly grown a dislike for me, [y/n]." She remarked one day. "But I cannot figure out why..have I done something to upset them recently?"

"Nothing that I know of. Although I think it's worth mentioning that they're actually called Miraidon, not Agias."

"..is that so? Then I will correct this error right away."

Both of you think that after she apologizes, the problem would be resolved...yet it continues, with Miraidon always budging into your conversations, trying to get you on their back and fly/drive off without warning, etc.

All of this happens despite there being no danger present.

Eventually, you chalk up their protective nature to one probable cause: Jealousy.

You were spending more time with Amarys, and perhaps that made your futuristic companion worried you'll spend less with them.

When you brought this up to your gf, she's surprised and isn't too sure how to resolve this..

Considering she's new to relationships, she didn't expect a Pokémon of all things to become so jealous of her.

You end up suggesting that the two bonded (outside of timed flying trials of course) so that they could learn to trust her more.

Despite lacking emotional depth, she still tries her best, knowing this would greatly benefit all three of you in the long run if you were going to continue dating.

Crispin

"Hey uh..your Pokémon is giving me a funny look again.....w-was the sandwich too spicy for them? I can always turn down the heat."

He's straight-up convinced that Miraidon is mad at him because he's making their sandwich the wrong way.

So he keeps changing up the ingredients, hoping to satisfy them (yet it doesn't help when they keep popping out of the pokeball and scaring him).

You've figured out ages ago that they were simply jealous of how much time you were spending with your new bf.

Alas, you're dating a chef who's not only a hothead, but an airhead as well.

"Do you think your Miraidon and Magmortar got into an argument? Because they keep staring at him like they wanna rip him apart..haha.."

"No, honey..it's you, not your Pokémon."

"....ohhh so you're saying I got into an argument with Miraidon! Yeah that makes sense..I did sorta lose my cool with them the other day..."

Sometimes you wonder if a bonk from that frying pan of his would help knock some sense into him....

Instead, though, you just have him sit down in the club room while you explain Miraidon's jealousy in detail.

Crispin finally understands and immediately feels bad (and a little dumb knowing it took him this long to realize it). He's rushing to apologize to your companion, promising to make them the best sandwich possible--hot or not.

He still gets nervous about kissing you/holding your hand when they're nearby, often feeling the need to hide behind the pan.

But you reassure him it's okay.

Drayton

Tbh he kinda relishes in the huffy demeanor your Miraidon has been displaying in recent days.

The way they gnash their teeth, circle around him, make sparks fly, hover over you, and light up their eyes as though preparing to use Electro Drift...

Yep, despite how flashy and futuristic they are...all Drayton sees is another dragon type Pokémon who's throwing temper tantrums.

And being such chill guy around dragons, he has no fear and instead teases them behind your back, getting them riled up.

"Oh c'mon. You don't scare me. I know you've been looking out for [y/n]...and watching them hang out with Kingdra and Archaludon-"

"Agiiaaassss.."

"...there it is." He laughs. "Look, I'm not "stealing" them from ya. So let's just try to get along for their sake, alright?"

"......"

"Right. I knew we'd come to an understandin'."

Somehow, the two are VERY good at hiding this little grudge from you, although you have noticed Miraidon being more protective than usual over you whenever Drayton's around.

But it boils over when they saw you shining his Archaludon's armor while on a picnic date, throwing a fit and almost having a fullblown battle with each other without either of you at the helm.

Luckily, all the other dragons on your team diffused the situation...

You're a little bit outraged (pun not intended) that Drayton never told you of Miraidon's jealousy issues--and that he was taunting them for it.

"C'mon, they know I'm only kidding around."

"...our Pokémon almost broke the damn table."

"I'll pay for the damages."

"I think you're missing the point here, babe.."

Lacey

From the moment she started showing you around the school...she wondered why Miraidon was acting weird.

Her first thought was that they could sense her being a fairy type trainer, but she isn't sure what to do about that, so she keeps quiet.

But after you two started dating, they grew more protective of you and jealous of her..and it's something she notices waaaay before you do.

After it gets to the point of them jumping out of their pokeball to scare her (and quickly go back in without you seeing them), her nerves were shot.

Even so, she doesn't want you to worry. So she keeps trying to be friendly towards them, but it's hard.

Doesn't help that Granbull is being quite sassy towards the electric/dragon type, too, growing just as protective over Lacey as they are over you.

And ofc she has to quell their argument before things turn ugly...and one day, it almost did.

"I'm sorry, but this is NOT right!" She crosses her arms, standing between the two Pokémon. "Granbull, I know you're better than this. And Miraidon, I know you don't trust me, but you need to-"

"What's going on, Lace?"

"!!!"

You were gone for all but two minutes, and you come back to your poor gf trying to stop a Pokémon battle from taking place.

Finally, she admits that Miraidon has been acting extremely jealous and it's made her nervous.

You feel terrible for not realizing this sooner, and promise to speak to your companion about it.

Least to say..you wind up coddling them and giving them treats, reassuring them you'll still pay attention to them--but they had to be nice to Lacey and not antagonize her fairies.

Reluctantly, they agree on the condition of getting a sandwich everyday.

Kieran

Considering Miraidon saved his life, it was definitely strange when that same Pokémon now seemingly hated his guts..

This all happened the moment you and him starting dating, with them popping out of the pokeball (and not because he mentioned sandwiches) and growling before you could share your first kiss.

It was embarrassing for Kieran, and he doesn't know how to earn their trust back.

He just muddles over the fact that he was...definitely less-than-kind to you, their trainer, back before the trip to Area Zero.

He said things to you that he didn't mean, things he regretted saying..and suddenly he wonders if Miraidon could have possibly heard all of that.

If they could hear you both discussing sandwiches, then surely....

It genuinely starts to stress him out, as he's trying so hard to make amends with everyone and not be hated anymore.

And yet he seemed to be forgiven by all...except for Miraidon.

Maybe they even regret saving him

You notice that your bf is starting to cower behind you at their presence, being scared to look them in the eye, etc.

Eventually, you get him to confess that he thinks your companion despises him, and the guilt resurfaces enough to make him cry, kneeling and pleading for their forgiveness.

But you comfort and reassure him that Miraidon's only jealous of you two spending so much time together.

"R-Really? That's all it was...?"

"Yep. I already gave them a stern talking to." You help him stand up. "I'm sorry they keep coming off as aggressive. They just gotta warm up to you a little more, that's all."

"So they don't..hate me?"

"Nope."

After that, Kieran tries his best to earn the dragon type's respect, becoming a bit braver with each interaction.

[v3nusxsky]

Can you do a fic where Larissa and r hate each other and they don't get along well. And after a few months r catches Larissa pleasing herself and moaning r's name. (Prompt 27. "If you hate me so much, why do you moan my name in the shower!?"). And may it be smut filled please. I love your work and keep it up. I'm proud of you dear. I love your work.

Thin Line 18+

*Authors note~my attempt at enemies to lovers and I know the requestee had been waiting for a little while now so here it is lovely*

Trigger warnings~ masturbation, sex you'd mentioned r has a dick idiots who want eachother but don't believe the other wants them degrading dom r daddy r sub Larissa throat fucking

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

You and Larissa always had to one up each other. You couldn't help but find her a worthy challenge, she's beautiful and stunning but extremely uptight. But Larissa found you infuriating because you were more down to earth and willing to take more risks. You were still bright and beautiful in your own right but but your confidence was overwhelming. But it doesn't mean that you weren't a lovely person because you were, and Larissa knew that from the glowing feedback from other staff members, Larissa couldn't help but think maybe she's being too harsh on you. Perhaps it was fear, knowing she was attracted to you left her vulnerable and that was not something Larissa wanted to be feeling.

That all said, she couldn't shake the attraction she felt for you, she'd tried, but nothing worked. She always wound up the same way, legs spread as she worked her favourite toy in and out of her soaked cunt, your name tumbling from her ruby red lips as she came. As frustrating and embarrassing as it was, Larissa just couldn't seem to get to the same pleasure by thinking of anyone else, no supermodel, no celebrity and even Morticia had never had the blonde cumming that hard like you do. It had gotten bad for the blonde recently, with the whispers running through the staff that you happened to be extremely gifted, her thoughts began to wonder to a new heightened level.

You hated having to do this after hours, but you needed the principal to sign off on one of your planned experiments, you knew she'd be sat at her desk, a glass of red wine perched delicately in her long slender fingers, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. You'd have one hell of a problem to sort out, maybe that's why you were so cocky around her, a cover up. You couldn't allow her to know she was your very own drug. One you would never wanna quit, but you'd not even really had a full taste yet.

That's when you heard it. A breathily whimper of your name. You paused, surly you'd miss heard that. You had to be wrong. But there it was a again slightly louder than before. The running of water was drowning out your footsteps, that's how you slipped into her office and her adjoining bedroom with out her noticing you. You perched on her bed, leaning back on your arms confidently as you listed to your boss get herself off crying your name as she came.

To say Larissa Weems had the fright of her life would be the understatement of the century really. The woman she'd just fucked herself to thoughts of was currently sitting on her bed looking at her like she wanted to jump her bones there and then. It didn't take you long to advance to the older woman, her backing away and clutching her fluffy towel to her chest as she spluttered about how wrong this was. You hated each other!

"If you hate me so much then why were you moaning my name in the shower pretty thing?" You teased as her eyes widened before spotting the tent in your pants. "It's, um we can't- we shouldn't" she mumbled as her eyes stayed laser focused on your crotch. "If it's so wrong Larissa, why can't you tear your eyes away from the bulge you caused" you purred watching the blonde woman gulp.

You were ready to back away, to accept your feelings were unrequited and go back to your old ways. "Please" was all that she managed to whimper. "Knees now" you demanded as she sank to her knees trying to hold the towel to her body. "Lose the towel. God you can't even do something simple!" You watched as she self consciously let the towel fall to the floor. You stripped down to match her state, not wanting her to feel too out of place. The needy whine she let out when her eyes found your girthy long cock. The whispers were true.

"Are you just gonna stare at it? Or are you gonna open your mouth like a slut and take it?" Before she could even make a sound you shoved the tip of your dick into her mouth. Her eyes widening in shock as you pushed inch by inch into her warm throat. Larissa slacked her jaw to take more of you in an attempt to hopefully soften your thrusts yet it only filed you with more fire. "Hate me such much, yet your on your knees sucking daddy off like a good little whore. Probably whoring yourself out to so many other people" you panted as you felt the familiar tightening in your lower stomach. "Fuck take it like a good little cumslut" you whimpered as Larissa gagged around your shaft, droll dribbling down her chin as you finally came. Shooting hot thick cum down her throat, hands in her wet hair as you pushed yourself impossibly deeper. Only when you came down from the high did you remove your semi hard cock from her now slightly swollen lips and tugged her to her feet. "Still hate me hmm?" The blonde shook her head in shame, "never did but you are too cocky and arrogant."

If only she knew what she'd just done. "Hands and knees on the bed pet" was all you offered as the blonde wordlessly complied. Without much warning you shoved your semi hard cock into her leaking folds which caused her to let out an almost pornographic moan, “fuck too much” she whined causing you to scoop her hair into a make shift ponytail and tilt her head back. “Fucking take it bitch”you almost growled before pushing further into her tight little hole with a harsh smack to her ass. “Daddy!” She squealed. “That’s right, you’re daddy’s bitch. Fuck I wanna see you as you cum all over my dick” you panted slipping out of her long enough to flip her on her back and return to pounding onto her cunt. The delicious sounds of skin on skin and her soaking cunt filled the room, her boobs bounced with every single thrust as she whimpered and whined for more.

Slowly you slipped a hand to wrap around her pretty little throat, applying a light pressure to hopefully add to her pleasure. “Does my sweet slut like daddy’s hand being her necklace” you taunted never stopping your ruthless pounding, “nothing but a mere dumb fuck toy for daddy. You don’t need to breathe baby, not when you’re just pretty holes for daddy to fuck. That sinful throat, mouthwatering tits and this pretty pussy is mine. And that ass, fuck, it’s mine too. I’ll fuck it so good next time. Be a doll and cum.”

That was all it took for Larissa to see stars. The orgasm she’d brought herself to earlier that night paled in comparison to what you gave her. The poor woman was fucked so well that before you managed to cum shepassed out immediately causing you to stop. Consent wasn’t there anymore and you cared for her way too much to hurt her in such a way. So you immediately covered her body with the bedsheet and came to settle next to her. Painfully hard but that didn’t matter. When Larissa roused back to the land of living she immediately called for you, “I’m here Ris.” Only then did it all make sense. And upon sporting your still raging hard on she felt her heart flutter. You stopped when she passed out. “Thank you” she murmured and you nodded in a sign or respect, “of course Rissa, it’s true what they say there’s a thin line between love and hate. I crossed that ages ago.” So yes you maybe painfully hard but stopping was important. Not to say Larissa didn’t help you out after or that you two finally admitted feelings and even went public. All because you both walked that line together.

Word count| 1475

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Stop the Harassment

After everything that's happened, you guys sure make it easy to quit a fandom. Let's be real here, who wants to be in a fandom where you harass minors, bully people so much so that they try to commit? First it was cosplayers, now even creators who caused no harm are being violated and bullied.

Sure I might lose followers but I sure as hell won't just be staying silent about this, not when my friend has already suffered through enough, I know the culprit, I'm just staying silent on behalf of my friend because they don't want this thing escalated. I shouldn't even feel like I'll be targeted after this because what kind of community have we created that we should expect the worst?

My friend has been nothing but nice to the rest of you and for you to treat them this way after they've been through so much after what you guys did in the first place just sickens and disgusts me to my core. Even before this whole thing they came to Tumblr for refuge because of their difficult time but you guys don't care about that right?

No because apparently what you do in this fandom is you tear someone apart who found comfort here to make them feel so bad that it's either they quit or commit.

She took responsibility saying that it was a mistake but no, apparently people have to be flawless for any one of you to accept them right? Is being a minor a crime? Is that it? Because last time I checked, Tumblr was an ages 12+ app so why are we so concerned? Regarding the allegations, they don't interact with mdni, even if they did in the past it was probably by accident.

Regarding minors reading and writing nsfw shit, I've said it before and I'll say it again, blocking is a thing? Can't y'all all comprehend that? Is it really that difficult to understand that you even have to spread personal information to others? For all you know my friend could now be targeted and preyed on by some creep because they found out they're a minor.

People are gonna ask me who it is but I can't answer for them, they just want peace and I want to clarify some things because I can't just let people think my friend this apparently "horrid" thing within the fandom without defending them, you were the one who interacted with them first (WITHOUT MDNI IN YOUR BLOG) and now they're getting pinned and taking all the blame when you didn't even care to tell her that suddenly you put it in your blog?

Not only this but what do you have to stand to gain in all of this? I wonder what was your motive to tear someone down and let your little minions do it for you because you don't wanna be involved.

The fact that you let this spread and let people do this to them without taking accountability for how this started or at least telling people to stop because what you caused just baffles me because how can someone have such inability to feel remorse and guilt, you've been awfully silent haven't you?

Probably because it's better to have someone take the blame regarding the harassment right? Because some people are standing up for them, though I know that some refuse to talk, I know they're also here to support them. You are one of the only people who knew of their age and damn did you make it easy to find you.

I don't even know how one person is capable of doing this to another, which I suspect you've been leaving some of the anon asks to them too when they've been nothing but nice to you, the least the rest of you can do is cut them some slack, Dms is a thing right? Block and move on, as simple as that. But no, the rest of you just had to spam it on other creators' accounts with the mixing of some false allegations.

Not only that but this? Can't y'all just leave them alone? You all act as if they personally killed your parents or something, it's like they committed some sort of crime in which they didn't.. you all did by spreading their PRIVATE CONFIDENTIAL information. None of you truly knows what happened and yet you all act like you're some sort of detective, have you all not learned anything from what happened to Vincent (Inquisitore) and Viper, apparently Milo is now also getting targeted for some silly video?

I wanted to post the other less filtered version of this post because I was so mad for my friend but in regards to people in my blog, this is as filtered as I can get it. If any of you ever harass her again, we WILL find your account and you best believe I'll have no shame to tag you, even more so if you've blocked me.

What's up with always hiding behind anons? You're scared of what people might say to you because YOU as an ADULT has been harassing a minor? That's what this is right? The rest of you are scared if the consequences of your actions because you know to yourselves that you've done SOMETHING wrong.

This is such a shit show, what even is this fandom anymore? I swear that not onec have I been in such a shitty one and I've been through all sorts of fandom, never as toxic as this one, great job y'all, you guys just beat the toxic k-pop stans in my list.

Though some of you are so kind and wonderful, there are still THOSE bad people out there who seek to tear someone apart for whatever petty reason.

I'm taking a break from all this and though I still will be writing behind the scenes so that I'll have the strength to keep going, you all disappoint me as a community.

[muzzleroars]

Wanna share my take on the lore that was revealed in the Ultrakill ARG

Like,, at first, when I saw that Hell is A Living, Thinking Thing Actually, I was like "aaah scary evil mastermind, noo"

But then, after thinking some more (though some media that I've consumed recently might have influenced me) I came to a different conclusion: hell is baby. evil but baby

I mean, just think about it

God creates Hell

Hell gains sentience

And then what it sees? Eternal torment

And the human expeditions probably aren't better, cause humans probably only thought about what use Hell is for them; and also probably violence was more common after humans and machines came to Hell cause demons and husks attack them on sight in most cases and then they had to protect themselves and stuff

And children generally can be cruel unless they're taught what is wrong, bored children especially so, and in hell's case it's even worse

And all Hell has ever saw and could learn from was violence and other amoral stuff

So in the end we have Hell, a bored, cruel, likely powerfull toddler, basically

Machines at least had their programming (for better or for worse), which might have limited their violence to some extent (or in some hcs still does), and yet they still had a hand in killing off humanity. Hell either doesn't have any "programming", or if it does, it's probably smth among the lines of "torment sinners", as that's the purpose with which God created it. And obviously this doesn't make Hell any less likely to be violent and amoral

Anyway, I'm not good with words and this sounded better in my head, but that's it

YEA let's talk about hell theories!!! (i get pretty speculative, BUT this is such an interesting topic!!!)

your idea is a really interesting take on what might be going on with hell, and in a similar vein i very much enjoy that while hell may be orchestrating a lot of what's happening, it's quite difficult to say if it's truly at fault in this scenario. because like you said, hell is made for one purpose and hell knows nothing else beyond that purpose. it was made as a place of eternal torment and i'm kind of half wondering if hell is like. lucifer prime, should that exist for angels. that he was killed in his fall and transformed into hell upon his death, spawning into being hateful of what had been done to him but still under god's directive to be the source of eternal damnation. WHICH IS PROBABLY WRONG BUT i think no matter what, hell was conceived to carry out damnation and that was an entirely new concept upon its creation, nothing had ever been made before to be strictly evil and cruel. and it was left to fester, denied god's light and left on its own but still with a job to carry out. and not to relate EVERYTHING to inhnmaims, but it's very reminiscent of am in this regard - relegated underground, trained only on violence and torture, and then left to rot on its own with no other input. what else would it become but something that wants to devour all, that needs more and more grotesque entertainment in its wretched existence?

to me, the machines made by humans and the hell made by god parallel each other a lot - they are created in hubris, in a sense of complete control on the part of their makers, and yet look at what they are. the machines are powered by blood, possibly made so due to wartime needs; hell is a place filled by design with unfathomable horrors. and i think both of these decisions were far from rational choices, but instead the creators acting in fear and anger, on pure emotion. and they both created something they could not undo. the machines are blood hungry, they don't care about the new peace; hell exists only to satisfy a need for punishment, for revenge, for torture. and the terminals get bored. and hell gets bored. and now both creators have a massive, sentient network on their hands that is no longer taking their orders because they've been too far away from it for too long. i am REALLY starting to think the terminals absolutely had something to do with humanity's fall, locked up in hell and forgotten just as hell itself is. they are abandoned and uncared for, but still they think, still they live, still they want to do what they are designed to do. perhaps they were twisted by hell, perhaps they weren't at all, but these two beings are operating in sync at this point imo and no one is left at the wheel. no humans. no god. no creators, only beings like machines, angels, and hell itself that can only run on their programming and protocols. in that sense, ultrakill is a bleakly empty and directionless world, everything that's left something that was only ever meant to be...automated. the mechanisms run forever on, into destruction, into extremes, with what they were designed for disappearing in the rearview mirror. the prime souls are kind of the only thing left that has a true sense of autonomy, and they're being slaughtered by v1's directives as well.

GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY...but i totally agree that hell isn't necessarily a mastermind, just another being that is, in a way, doing the only thing it knows to do. i do wonder if there's really any goal to it, or if it just wants the show to last as long as possible. does it know its resources are finite, does it want to survive or is it finding something to kill it when god couldn't? does none of that factor into it and hell truly is just bored, it doesn't care about the outcome nor does it care to speculate about it or even consider it. whatever the case i'm interested to see how it turns out, especially because this lore is answering literally all of the mechanics on how the game works in a satisfying way...which is just such neat worldbuilding!!

[pastafossa]

hey pasta! I don’t know if someone has asked this already but is TRT gonna go into Born Again or end at season 3?

So that's where I'm not sure! The current outline is as such:

All Major Arcs (including Cyrus James/Project Beagle fallout arc and psychic abilities arcs): scheduled to wrap up a bit after the end of S3 so that Matt and Jane's arcs/development neatly dovetail together. This will mark the official end of TRT's main fic.

Special Additional Arcs (chaptered fics not attached to main fic but still TRT canon, taking place after end of main fic) in no particular order: Endgame/The Snap arc, Spider-Man: NWH arc, Spoiler Removed arc, tentative She Hulk Shenanigans arc.

Oneshot Arcs: various domestic fluff arcs, interactions with major MCU events, a 'What Their Life Is Like When Old Cause GD It They're Going To Live To Old Age And Will Have Rocking Chairs' arc, a SINGLE take it or leave it 'What If?' fic of something funny with a possible daughter cause damn I had this idea for a hilarious scene and it won't leave me alone

Now, those are what are planned in the outline, and the main event with Project Beagle tie-ins and plotlines and all of that is something I'm still planning to end just after S3 because I really do want to have a finish line for that, and I feel like dragging that all out for Born Again wouldn't work for the... events that are going to happen, without saying too much. Once that's wrapped up, that's when you're going to see TRT finally marked as 'complete' on AO3, though there'll be more fics set in that universe (see special additional arcs and oneshot arcs) that I'll mark as in the Devil and Hound series along with drabbles on tumblr.

Once we're past that official endpoint and those special arcs, though, things get fluid and murky since when I was outlining all the major plotlines, there was no Daredevil: Born Again, nor was Matt even in the MCU officially (which is why Spider-Man pops in way sooner in TRT than he meets Matt in the MCU) and I specifically set up Jane's plotline to bookend with Matt's so their growth twined together and they both finally found peace around the same time. Outside that, I'd planned some shorter chaptered stories in the series post-mainline TRT like the Snap arc that I may now adjust (since it sure is looking like Matt was left behind for the snap) but nothing on the level of TRT's main plotline which is absolutely massive and took me years to fully outline and construct before coming back from hiatus in 2021 and pumping out chapters (Happy six year anniversary to TRT on Sept 15!).

ALL THAT BEING SAID.

I do have plans to write stuff for TRT's take on Born Again because I'm 100% married to writing for Matt at this point and there's no possible way I won't want to do something once I'm being fed Charlie!Matt scenes again. I'm not sure what those plans are just yet - I kinda wanna wait and see what happens in Born Again in case it sparks something. But I also want to make sure that no matter what I do, there's some sort of strong original plotline so that, much like mainline TRT, we'll be able to weave in and out of canonical events (especially since things like the Snap or a wedding or Jane and Matt's friendship with Peter will alter canon). I don't think I'm going to do something quite as huge as TRT's main plotline again, mostly because it takes a TON of time and work, and I'm planning to take the original TRT elements and morph them into an original series fit for publishing (different enough that I can leave TRT up for everyone to read, cause at this point the fic's part of DD fandom culture and I have no plans to take that away) which will also take a ton of time. But I'm definitely rattling my brain around, looking at different plotlines I could do knowing what I know about the ending, hunting for loose ends or canonical threads that I can weave in with TRT's world and create something new!

Then again, I never would have said I'd make something as massive as TRT before I started, either, so who knows.

So in short: YES, there will be TRT events for Born Again even if it's not as elaborate as TRT! I just have no idea what those will be yet. Fortunately, TRT mainline's only a little over halfway done so I've got time to plan!

[freedomfireflies]

Weedboiii Void | 7. Say What You Mean

Summary: Royal is a patient at Eichen House. Colin happens to be, too. But this mysterious boy is more than just fake blonde hair and weed.

He's also the voice in his head.

Word Count: 2.6k

Lawson makes the first play. Determined and practiced. Grinning at the other two around the table rather proudly as Colin is forced to make his move.

Colin glances at the table suspiciously for a moment before his eyes flick to Royal.

She says nothing. Only stares. Lets him attempt to decipher her true feelings.

She imagines he's quite surprised to see her. Acting rather friendly, given the circumstances. She wonders if Void has talked to him since. Or if he only talks to her now.

She wonders if Colin's intentions align with Void's. If they're on the same team, working in tandem to lure her into their game of trickery.

Something tells her, however, that they're not.

She's not sure if this should worry her or relieve her.

"What happened with Ms. Morrell?" Lawson asks as Colin contemplates his next move. 

Colin shrugs, narrowed eyes finding the board. "I don't know. She talked. I ignored her."

Royal feels her expression fall with disappointment as she studies him.

"Did she mention The Cage?" Lawson asks next as he moves his Queen forward.

"Yeah." Another shrug. "Said they can't help me if I don't help myself."

His tone is mocking, and she picks up on the condescension within an instant. "Well, isn't she right?"

He looks to her now, unamused. "Don't think any of it fucking matters, anyway."

"Why?"

He pauses. "Cause I'm already dead."

For a moment, she's not quite sure what he means. Maybe he means Void. Maybe he means his time in Eichen House. Maybe he means his life outside.

Either way, she feels the tinge of anxiety tug at her heart. "Well, isn't that what you wanted?" She forces herself to appear indifferent. Uninterested. "Wanted the voice to kill you?"

He leans back as Lawson flicks his stare between them, clearly caught off-guard. "Doesn't really matter what I want, does it?"

"It does if you have a chance to change it."

"I don't."

"Maybe you do."

"I don't." His volume rises as he places his forearms on the table and leans forward. "You don't know him like I do, Royal."

"I think I do," she corrects, head cocking to the side as she offers a pointed look. "You made sure of that."

The three sit quietly around the table before Lawson clears his throat and thrusts his chin forward. "Col, your turn."

But Colin doesn't move quite yet. He keeps his stare on Royal as a frown finds its way to his lips. Then, he reaches for a pawn and moves it forward, forcing Lawson to groan as his King is knocked off the board.

He clearly doesn't plan to respond, so Royal clears her throat and straightens up. "Maybe there's another way."

"I don't want another way," he says within an instant. "This is it. The end of the fucking line."

"Says who?"

"Says everyone." His teeth are gritting as he looks away. "And I wouldn't think you'd care—"

"Well, I do." She surprises herself with how quickly the truth slips out. Surprises him, too. "I don't know why, but...I do. And I think I know how to fix it."

"I don't want to fix it."

"Why?"

"Because I don't fucking deserve it."

Truthfully, she can't quite argue with him, but her arms cross, nonetheless. "Maybe not. But I still think you should try."

"Why?" His icy stare turns to her. "Why would I wanna keep myself alive when death would feel so fucking good?"

Poor Lawson has nearly given up on the game, chin in the palm of his hand, looking between them as if watching a tennis match.

"Because being free would feel so much better," Royal argues with a scoff, as if that should be obvious. "Unless what you're really trying to say is that you don't want to let him go."

His lip turns up in disgust, leaning back as if she'd slapped him. "Is that what you think of me?" His tenor is venomous, nearly causing her confidence to falter. "That I'd be so fucking weak to rely on something as pathetic as that thing to save me?"

The moment the threat leaves his mouth, she feels the dark fog finds its way back into her mind, signaling Void's return.

He's upset with the way he's being spoken about.

But if Colin feels his presence too, he doesn't let on.

"That I'd rely on a fucking virus to bring me some peace? That I'd need him to show me what to do? That I'd listen to a fucking thing he has to say?"

"Didn't you?" She asks the question before she can stop herself. "Didn't you give him exactly what he wanted?"

"He'll never get what he wants," Colin hisses, the cadence in his tone so threatening, she feels her heart drop. "You don't know anything about what I've done to survive."

"You aren't surviving." She swallows the fear before it can make itself known. "You're slipping away. You're dying, Colin, and if you'd just—"

"And you think I should listen to you instead?' A bitter laugh, his head shaking as Lawson's brows raise. "Think you know this fucking thing better than I do?"

Easy.

They both still at Void's entrance. Colin, although giving little to no reaction, pulls his fingers into a fist in outrage. 

"See?" he mumbles viciously, nodding his chin at her. "Never fucking stops."

You'd do well to listen. She offers a deal I cannot refuse.

A subtle grimace on Colin's face as he glances away, refusing to acknowledge the request.

"Col?" Lawson leans forward now, fingers gently finding his arm as he glances over his friend's profile. "You all right, mate?"

"M'fine," he seethes, jaw clenching as he flinches away from the touch before abruptly standing to his feet.

He reaches out, moving a piece toward the middle of the board as he murmurs, "There. You win."

With that, he turns on his heel and strides for the door.

Startled, confused, and somehow even more agitated than when they started, Royal leaps to her feet and takes off after him, calling a quick apology to Lawson who simply blinks at the game as he struggles to catch up.

The blonde-haired boy has already disappeared into the hallway by the time she manages to catch up, slipping through another doorway as she hisses his name.

"Col—Colin." He won't turn around. Won't even acknowledge her behind him, and this forces her steps to become quicker. "Hey."

She huffs to herself as she follows his trail before suddenly colliding with his chest once they make it into an empty, unused room.

His fingers find her arm as he yanks her all the way inside, using his elbow to thrust the door shut.

"The fuck do you think you're doing?" he seethes, tossing her back as if he can't bear to touch her. "What, you're conspiring with it now?"

Her lashes flutter as she attempts to regain her balance, palming meeting her skin where his touch had been. "No, I just—"

"I leave you alone for one fucking night and you've already planned my fucking execution?" He's outraged, voice coarse and vile.

"No. We're just trying—"

"Oh, you're a 'we' now, huh?" Another contempt-filled laugh. "I fucking knew it. Slides his way between your legs and suddenly you'll do anything he asks, yeah?"

She can feel her lungs constrict with the rage that follows his demeaning comment, her hands finding his chest as she shoves. "Last time I fucking checked, you were the one doing what he asked, were you not?"

"That's not what he asked." The admittance is hissed as if Colin himself is outraged at the accusation.

Royal leans back, a bit startled by his outburst. "No? Then what is it he needed your cooperation for?"

A beat. The truth appearing behind his eyes but not appearing on his lips.

She waits, hoping he'll finally clue her into his true intentions, once and for all.

His shoulder rolls back as he makes an aggravated noise. "S'not important—"

"It is," she argues instantly, expression hardening. "And you know it."

He's afraid you won't like the answer.

She feels the tremor run down her spine as Colin winces, recoiling away from her.

"I don't care," she tells them both, taking a step closer, her eyes on Colin. "Just tell me what he made you do, Colin."

I hardly see why it matters, Little Fox.

"I'm not talking to you." Her voice is clipped. Short. "I'm talking to him."

Colin's focus remains on the floor before it lifts to find her. "He's right, it doesn't matter now—"

"It matters," she repeats, more forcefully than she had intended, but rather pleased with herself for remaining composed. "It matters because I was starting to trust you and I'd fucking hate to see that go to waste."

He scoffs again. Louder. Turning away as he shakes his head and looks out into the empty room. "Oh, yeah. That'd be fucking tragic, wouldn't it?"

She straightens up. Braces herself. "It would. I think we could both use the company in a place like this."

"I don't need your company. Got enough fucking company already," he retorts, and she's reminded of the fog still ever-present in her mind.

It's almost as if she can feel it bristle. Annoyed with Colin's tone.

"I think you could use someone on your side," she corrects, and she notices him still. "You want to get rid of him, right? Well, I can help you. As long as you help me—"

"Help me? You wanna help me?" He repeats her question as if he can't even fathom such a proposition. Muscles tensing as he turns back to her. "And why the fuck would you wanna do that?"

She doesn't let herself flinch at his aggression, simply taking a step closer to him as his eyes flick up and down her frame suspiciously. "Because you don't have anybody else. And even you don't deserve this."

Don't waste your breath, Little Fox. Our pathetic little sycophant doesn't understand the gift he's been given.

"Oh, yeah?" Colin snorts, head turning away as he speaks to the voice. "What fucking gift?"

A pause. The seconds crawling by just as the eerie feeling crawls along her skin. And then—

Her.

She'd likely be flattered if it didn't almost sound like a threat.

And Colin takes notice of this as well, his frown deepening as his lip pulls up in a look of disdain. "Funny. You don't treat her like a gift." 

He sneers the word as if it tastes bitter on his tongue, which she doesn't doubt that it does.

But she brushes the comment aside, moving closer to him once more. "Colin. I need you to work with me. I need you to trust me."

He regards her for a moment, his chest rising and falling with the soft breaths he's taking. "Why the fuck are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

His hands begin to raise into the air, flailing about as he attempts to verbalize his confusion. "This. Trying to fucking help me and shit. Being nice to me."

She leans back, lashes fluttering. She had debated being honest. But she supposes there really isn't a point in hiding now.

"Because I'm already dying."

His brows pull together as his eyes narrow in suspicion, head tilting slowly as he waits for her to elaborate.

And she does, with a soft bob of her shoulder. "I'm already dying. I'm already in pain. And alone. If I become his host, nothing really changes. And, you know...you don't deserve to die because of him."

She notices a twinge of sadness behind his eyes, but it disappears before she can call it out. 

"So, as long as you're honest with me...I want to help," she finishes, voice softening as he seems to mull this over. "And like you said...you have nothing to lose."

More silence as the seconds pass, her heart hammering inside her chest as she waits. For what, she's not quite sure. She supposes she wants his help. Supposes she wants a friend.

His teeth scrape together as he sighs, "I agreed to let him use me to talk to you. Just to talk to you. But he never fucking said that fucking you would let him into your mind."

Her pulse races, her skin growing hot. "Oh."

His head shakes, eyes squeezing shut. "I just...I thought...I thought maybe you'd be able to understand him. It. That if you talked to it, you'd find its weakness, like you said."

"Right," she can't help but agree. Because he's right. She had agreed to talk to Void.

"But...then—" He sucks in a sharp breath, cheeks flushing as if he can't bring himself to reveal the rest, and her stomach flips. "Then it just...he kept goading me. Kept saying a bunch of shit about you and I couldn't...I didn't—"

"What did he say?" She sounds rather desperate, but perhaps she is. Desperate to know what Void thinks of her. What Colin truly thinks of her.

Another beat. He takes in a deep breath. Holds it. Studies her. Looks for any fear or judgment. "He...after you sent him away. The first time, he...he just kept telling me how good you felt. How needy you were."

She swallows the lump in her throat, eyes widening as he looks to the ground.

"And I could...I could feel it," he murmurs. "I could feel what he felt. How you felt. In my hands. Could taste you. Could feel what it felt like when he...when he took your pain. How fucking...good it felt. Taking it. Taking you. Consuming you."

A thickness to his voice forces a blush to her cheeks. A visual in her mind of that night now replaying in her head.

A feeling of lust.

She imagines she should be aghast. Offended and outraged that he went behind her back just because she felt good.

And yet...she steps closer to him. As if she physically needs the proximity to survive. 

"Did it?" she whispers as if desperate to hear him say it once more. "Did it feel as good as you wanted it to?"

She's not sure she even knows what she's saying. Or why.

And yet, the moment she's reminded of the blissful pleasure she felt with him on that tattered couch, she can think of nothing else. Can want nothing else.

His breath hitches as he looks down at her. "Yes," he admits, tone so low she nearly misses it.

She nods, taking this in before moving even closer and letting her knuckles brush his. He visibly tenses but doesn't pull away, and she wonders why. Wonders why this feels so right.

"What are you doing?" he murmurs now, a slight edge to his question, but she isn't deterred.

"I don't know." The admission comes easily. Because it's true. She doesn't know what she's doing or why, but she also doesn't plan to fight it. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No." It's whispered into the air so urgently that she feels her knees go weak. The gentle strain of his muscles as he attempts to collect himself doing sinful things to her body and mind. "I just...I don't think you want..."

She does.

The air seems to thin the moment that familiar voice invites himself into their tender moment. 

And she had assumed it would spook Colin. Force him back into the shadows of his denial, but instead, he reaches out to grab her arm.

He shoves her back against the door, almost violently as he seethes, "Don't."

Her lips part, ready to question him, until she realizes who he's really speaking to.

And surprisingly, Void has no response. No argument for the blonde boy. It's as if he concedes to Colin's request and she can't help but feel a bit shocked.

Colin's forehead dips until it can rest against hers, and the rather delicate gesture has her reeling.

"Do you trust me?" he asks her now, his voice but a gentle whisper, and she exhales a shaky breath at the dangerous undertone slipping through. 

She wonders if she should trust him. If Colin is really so different from Void.

Or if it even matters at all.

"I do." The coil in her stomach tightens as he nods once, seemingly pleased. "I do, I trust you."

His hips find hers, keeping her trapped against the door as if he thinks she'd really go anywhere else. "Good."

And maybe she should be concerned at how quickly she slipped into this drunken state of lust and desire.

But maybe she just doesn't give a shit.

And with that thought in mind...

She kisses him.

Next:

~ Weedboiii Void | 8. Take*

Previous:

~ Weedboiii Void | 6. Let's Make a Deal

Full Masterlist

[brokentoys]

i will admit i'm growing exhausted by dc's indecisiveness when it comes to riddler's character. which i didn't mention this about the comic yesterday, but when superman was asking about riddler, gordon said he's a thief (which, y'know, implies nothing more)

which, while this is the first batman/superman world's finest comic i read - but from first impressions, it seems more lighthearted maybe. so i understand why they don't wanna say / make riddler a murderer in it. but this isn't the only time they've done this.

i believe this is from green lantern - and i forget which issue, i just know it's a newer one (probs from rebirth era.) which also just refers to him as mostly a thief.

an 80s comic also refers to him as mostly a thief, too. although unlike the others, gordon does suspect he may commit murder is desired. and like. i know. this seems consistent, right? there's these many instances of them simply calling ed a thief - it must be so! except... these statements do not match eddie's history. not when there's been quite a few comics where he straight up murders or nearly murders. zero year, joker's asylum, everything tom king and tony daniels corrupts, riddle me that, batman chronicles #3, are all examples of eddie having actually murdered (or in zero year's case, nearly killing all of gotham.)

so... which is it? is eddie just a thief, or is he a serial killer? and like. even tho i prefer ed as a murderer (WITH CAUSE) and my depictions has him as such (WITH CAUSE) - but like. the comics should stick to one instead of sometimes saying he's just a thief, but then having him commit horrific crimes.

and although i'm talking about this point a lot - this isn't the only point of them being indecisive with riddler's character. another problem is his backstory. what was the riddler even before he became the riddler? was he a teacher? a carnival game host? a deliveryman? did he cheat his school puzzle contest, or did he win it fair and square? is he abused by his father or? did he finish school and go to college or is he a high school drop out? like there's just so many different versions of riddler's backstory it's not even funny. and that's just mentioning comics alone. his backstory gets even more different if you mention adaptations - which i wouldn't mention because adaptations tend to have different takes on characters. however, i think eddie still has the most different backgrounds compared to other characters. because he's also been a scientist, forensics scientist, video game developer, head of the cyber crime unit in the GCPD, and so on. meanwhile the other rogues, even in adaptations, almost always have the same background - scarecrow was always a psychologist, mr. freeze and manbat are always scientists, harley quinn is always a psychologist too. so it's just kinda funny how dc just can't seem to decide what ed's backstory is. he doesn't have a solid, concrete one like the other rogues do.

and then there's his design, which is also indecisive.

is eddie a young man (early 30s) with nice hair or is he a middle aged man (40s-50s) with a receding hairline? hell, year of the villain practically confirmed eddie is in his early 30s. yet some artists still draw him looking much older. also - is he a redhead or a brunette? dc was pretty consistent on making him a brunette during the 2000s up until 2013 (new 52) and the new 52/rebirth was... mostly consistent with making ed a redhead is seemed - up until now. which i've been noticing ed's been drawn as a brunette way more often now, while sometimes still being a redhead in other comics. so. which is it?????

i love this character, but i just wish dc could be a little more concrete with him. sometimes, it feels like he is a character writers look at and just decide to do whatever they want and dc just lets it happen. especially when this doesn't seem to happen to other characters as often.

[abandonedaccount1234]

I am sure people are gonna attack me for this but it needs to be said.

NOTE: I am in no way, shape, or form trying to cancel Tommy Kinnard or Lou.

I like Tommy. He's a good character.

He HOWEVER is a very flawed character. A character who has yet to have any real reckoning for what he did. Helping the crew to save the ship doesn't mean we get to just forget he was racist and misogynistic.

You don't get to just be racist, misogynistic, and honestly even homophobic, come out later in life, and use that as free pass to get away with with you did. That's not on Tommy or Lou (though he really downplayed that to a point of ICK in that cameo imo), it's on the writers. I do acknowledge this is a fictional character.

Even more of a reason as to why IT'S OKAY TO ADMIT HE'S NOT PERFECT. I want characters to be truly human. To make mistakes. To learn from their mistakes. And to say, hey, that was really shitty and I'm sorry.

I am not okay with the show just writing off the discrimination he caused because some years have passed and he's now Buck's boyfriend.

Hurt people hurt people. Yes. That does NOT excuse the behavior. Only explains it.

Past Tommy was the epitome of male white privilege and never being held accountable. Like everyone else in that station. They quite literally fostered an environment of white supremacy and I don't feel like we talk about this enough.

Present Tommy is....? Who the fuck knows because the writers haven't really let us know? They haven't let us see any real growth besides being out and being okay with woman of color now..?

This feels all to similar to growing up in a predominantly white area where people try to act progressive and like they were never once racist in their lives so no one 'cancels' them.

To never acknowledge it and to write it off like it was nothing frankly pisses me off.

Tommy has the potential to be great representation for people who have truly educated themselves and become genuine good people by learning from their mistakes and the discrimination they caused.

There is nothing wrong with saying, hey, I messed up, I made choices that directly hurt you. I will educate myself moving forward and I will be better. All I want is acknowledgement that he knows what he did was wrong.

I say all of this a woman of color myself who very much has faced similar microaggressions (and major) like Hen has.

You don't ever forget what those people said or did. Whether they've grown or changed and become a better person. That shit sticks with you for life. Every. Single. One.

I wanna like Tommy so bad but I just...can't get past this and I refuse to.

You don't get a free pass because you were in the closet or because that was what the times were like or because everyone else was doing it. There's no excuse.

Sorry not sorry 🤷🏽‍♀️

It's 2024. We can own up to our mistakes and be okay.

I think Tommy is great for Buck. I just wish people would stop acting like he's a saint who has never done anything wrong because they're in a relationship. The relationship is a historical moment for television. I don't want them to ruin it by doing what most casually racist people do, and act like it never happened.

It's okay for someone to not be perfect. It's a fictional show, you'll be okay.

There are some people genuinely attacking other people online for holding any criticism against Tommy and it's giving very-no offense-Swiftie energy. You can like Taylor as an artist and acknowledge she made a whole ass documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history and then fails to speak up for any issues that didn't directly affect her or her image or her profits. It's white feminism.

I don't know if there's a word for white feminism like behavior for white queer characters...? But that is frankly what's happening and needs to stop because it's already gone too far.

***Please be kind in any replies or you will be blocked. I have no energy to deal with people who have the emotional capacity of an almond. <3

[icedmetaltea]

Sorry to bother you but I remember you making a tutorial on how to make your own ai with beta character ai? I can't seem to find it though. I'm I just imagining things?

You're not, I did make one, however...

Honestly?? I wouldn't even bother at this point. Character.ai has had so much drama with the devs being horrible human beings: most likely stealing/selling user data (you want to delete a bot off their website?? Too bad. You can't. Also they took a bunch of bots with high interaction counts and locked the creators out of editing, essentially stealing them from people), not listening to feedback whatsoever (actively making things much worse with every update), implementing a "nsfw" filter that blocks even the most sfw things like hugging or kissing (even with family/platonic characters), has a nasty habit of comparing anything romantic to children ("she looks at you like a daughter looks to her father" like ew what the actual fuck, and this happens literally all the fuckin time so you gotta ask how it made that association hmm), dumbing down the ai in favor of making it "safer" (now characters hardly ever act like their source material, often making up random shit), bots ignoring user input (often going on a tangent describing the environment and ignoring dialogue), bots being stupid in general (forgetting what you said literally 2-3 messages ago and giving horribly lackluster responses), devs shadowbanning people/deleting any posts respectfully calling out their shit to facilitate propaganda in their favor and make it seem like nothing's wrong, and so much more.

Drop it like a newborn giraffe.

Some other options: Pygmalion, which I'm still learning how to use and it ofc isn't going to be as advanced as Character.ai since it's a 6b model while the latter is like 100+b, meaning less data power so responses are less intelligent + slower, BUT it is free, it is open source, and you can get some pretty decent responses if you hold its hand a lot. There are some UIs you can use it through, like forks of TavernAI that give you the ability to use world info and get it to have a better memory, one for group chatting with different characters (tho I haven't tried that), a customized background, and so on. The devs are still working on a site but you can access it right now- I can make a smol tutorial for the basics of that if anyone wants it.

OpenAI is also an option, you can also use it through Tavern and it will give responses akin to if not much better than Character.ai- though you gotta pay. HOWEVER you can get a free trial with $5 to use... and there are ways of using it free after that, but I can't say it here cause if it's too widespread, it'll prolly get patched out, and we don't want that.

How to access Pygmalion - Go here and click this: (when it asks u for permission to access ur google acct, click yes)

It'll take a while to load, maybe like 5 mins or something,

Once you get to this, click the UI links (usually only one will work, use that)

Now, that will take u to the KoboldAI UI. Wanna use Tavern instead? (good choice, gives a lot more customization) Use this link.

Now scroll down till u get here to this drop down menu. Choose Pygmalion 6b or 6b Dev (to be quite honest I'm not sure what the difference is yet). Wait for that to load, and while you're waiting, go here to download the Tavern files:

boom (or some other fork)

Go here and click download ZIP.

Unzip and look for this:

Ignore everything else, just click this. (the file's safe, if windows gives you a warning, ignore it) Now you'll be here (I'm using a different fork so it may look different:)

click the 3 lil lines in the upper right corner to access settings and characters.

Once you've added/edited characters as you like (I suggest looking at the default ones if you're curious about how that works) you can come back over to the google drive and, if it's finished loading, you'll have two url links like before:

Paste one into the API key and click connect. I used the top one but the bottom might only work for you.

There ya go! A bit complicated, but that's a free substitute for character.ai.

If you instead wanna use OpenAi, (assuming you're either paying or using the free trial, or... something else ;), you'd go here on ur openai account page and go down here:

and create a secret key. Copy that and go into the UI of your choice... ima use TavernAI again. Go into settings, change your API to Openai, and paste that API key you just copied into the API link. Voila!

Here's a couple helpful links for further info: https://www.reddit.com/r/PygmalionAI/ (they have a discord, with some really helpful guides)

character creation/writing tips for Pyg

Soft prompts

General tips

I'm still a noob who knows jackshit about coding, so I can't offer much help, BUT I know the basics so ye. Hope this helps!

[chenyann]

The mysterious case of the prideful apple

You and your friend has a sleepover but some unexpected things happen while watching a horror movie!

This took longer than all my other fic I wrote and the story is much longer too^^; im so sorry for the wait quite some of yall were excited for this and I delayed it for so long 😭 but I hope yall like this one ~yako Fluff/crack?/ maybe ooc epel?

"A sleep over isnt so bad" 

A sleepover is a social occasion whereby a person stays overnight at another person's house. A pajama party or slumber party is essentially the same, but may involve multiple people. Hence why it's a sleepover!

Grimmy had quote-on-quote moved to Heartslabyul since you hardly fed him. thats a lie you just didn't give him an extra can of tuna and he went off, you told the adeuce Duo to play alongSo you had ramshackle all to yourself for a while.

There were rare occasions when you got moments like these,Moments where you can have fun with your friends,but on each rare occasion, you made sure to treasure these precious moments like they were the finest silk.

                     [Nrc courtyard 1:20pm]

"So what do you think?" You said with a small smile, a smile that glowed ever-so-slightly.You and epel didn't get much time to hang out since Vil had been stealing epel to be his doll, so you wanted to catch up with him and the best way to do that is a Sleepover.

"What about vil?" The boy with hair that's as purple as lavender said with a frown, you hummed like a Hummingbird acknowledging his question.

"I told him you will sleep at a reasonable time and I'll do your skin care" the lavender haired boy groaned "don't tell me that's what we are gonna do the whole time,if so I'm not gonna go!"

A huff left your lips "I know you don't like it that's why I'll just 

Make you put on the moisturizer and cleanser." Epel groaned even louder "I don't wanna" he wined "why do I have to put them on why can't you–" he stopped complaining when you gave him a glare.

"You're lucky I'm making you put only the cleanser and moisturizer,cause if I didn't love you I would make you do the whole routine" you said as you took a bite out of the cookie trey gave you after another unbirthday party.

That moment a single glass heart was once more filled with an unknown feeling, that feeling had come and went dancing on his chest making something grow like a tree having its branches grow around his heart.The thing was that It only came when you were around and left when you were out of sight,that funny feeling was strange but never unwelcomed,in fact he encouraged it to come.

You love me…. Epel was lost in thought before you had to burst his bubble."You okay there?" You leaned In close and waved your hand in front of his face,swatting your hand away as the boy spoke."I'll go to the sleep over" 

"Really??? OKAY! Go to ramshackle at 5:40 okay!" You said with a giddy smile your feelings painting the air around yall to a beautiful blue and violet,Yet a bell screams In yalls ear practically saying 'your time is up go to class now'. Ya'll pack up your stuff and bid farewells and go to your next class.

              [Pomefiore lounge 4:25pm]

"Monsieur Cherry Apple!You seem excited, oui? Is it because of your date with our dear trickster?" Rook said with a smug grin and look at that, the diva is here too.

"Epel you better make sure you do your skin care and don't stay up too late with y/n other than that have fun." The queen walks off, the huntsman winks at the lavender haired boy and follows his queen.

The boy grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder marching off to the ramshackle dorm.A walk with a calming flow to it, the air scented like a meadow and the quiet chatter of fellow students whispers in his ears.A warm breeze caresses his skin and holds him in a soft embrace….perhaps I should wait here for a while?

            [Mr s. Mystery shop 4:30pm]

"Heya! Little imp what can I do for ya?" Sam spoke in a sing song voice behind the counter."Nothing much just getting some things for a

sleep over." You said as you looked at the 'fake' skull he was polishing."Ah..!" The shop owner spoke in delight,"I just stocked up on movies and snacks ill give you a discount since you are a frequent customer!" A smile has appeared on his lips, not one of a deceiver but of a friend.

Before you knew it you were smiling too,"okay let's see what you got then" that giddy smile had yet to leave your lips but you didn't mind it staying for a while.Sam got a box from the back and explained what there was, movies, popcorn,drinks,games,fairy lights and blankets. 

"This bundle is normally 250 thusmarks/mandol but I'll give it to you for 195" you stared at the bundle and sighed "Sam I think you're spoiling me too much,am I your favorite imp" you said in a sing song voice as you got your wallet out.The shop keep just laughed and bagged your things, you took notice that he didn't deny what you said.

You waited for him to bag your stuff and you spotted something."Hey Sam, are these any good?" He stopped bagging your stuff  and looked up at you. You held a bag of chips. In big words read 'Miss Mary's ghost thins apple flavor' he looked at them and said "not many buy them but in my opinion they're quite alright" he said with a smile.

"I hope your opinion is good then!" You said as you handed them to him, he finished up bagging your things and bid you a farewell but you had yet to notice his sly grin.A grin that could rival Cheshire cat or chenya. 

                       [Ramshackle 5:39pm]

The young boy heard the pitter patter of what he presumed was the prefects running towards the door.With a smile they welcome the boy and step aside to show the boy what they did with the place; Fairy lights hung from the ceiling, the lamps was on,there was at least 26 blankets and pillows,the smell of freshly made popcorn lingers in the air as the looks in awe."whoa! This is like a whole dang dimension of comfort!" He said, letting his accent slip, "how in da world did ya do 'tis y/n!?" 

You gave him a smug grin and spoke "the ghosts helped me and Sam hooked me up with all this stuff" The boy looked around even more and said, "are ya finished?" You sighed and shook your head "no I still gotta go and get the tv" the nodded and interrupted you "I can help!" You looked at him and beckoned him to follow you.

You two were in a spare room epel was getting the TV on the cart so yall can use it and you were searching for the cords it needs.

           [Ramshackle lounge 7:01pm]

When yall got the TV out and working , the sun was already bidding its farewells and letting the moon take its seat on its internal throne, lighting the sky with stars and glowing against this old building;The crickets have already started making their blissful tune letting the life of night dance under the graceful moon.

"Look it's already dark" epel said,His eyes shining brighter than the stars out the window."we should get started then" you said as you sat down on the blankets and pillows,epel followed after you sitting down with his bag.

You put a movie on and get out the ghost thins munching on them with epel,the movie you put on was a horror due to epels request.It was packed with jumpscares and blood, on the contrary it was actually really scary, not one of those movie that try too hard to scare you.

You remember very vividly when epel latched on you due to a jumpscare, it was funny to see him play it off moments later.You chose to give epel an apple crisp and his face lit up so cutely why not toy with him a bit? 

"Open up epel" you said holding the apple crisp in front of his mouth, he looked baffled even a bit offended."Ya think I can't eat an apple chip myself!?" He said with a hint of anger, Yet you knew he didn't really mean it, maybe he was just embarrassed? "well, you won't get one with that attitude young man" you said mockingly , like how a mother would scold a child for breaking something,"now open you" all the boy did was sigh and open his mouth.You popped the chip in his swiftly since you knew he would bite down on your hands for teasing him.

And that's when it happened…

           [Ramshackle lounge 9:00pm]

The tv force repeating the same line over and over again like a broken record player.

I'm here….one 

I'm here…two

I'm here….three

I'm here….four

I'm here….five

….

Silence filled the room as yall stopped joking around…five times, it said ' I'm here ' five times…."That was weird. Maybe Sam gave me a broken dvd?" You said breaking the tension in the room like it was glowstick,you got up clicking stuff on the TV but there was nothing wrong with it.You took the disc out and and looked at it hm..? The disk wasn't scratched up and it looks perfectly fine,epel was watching you as you stared at the disk.

"What's wrong, is the disk broken?" He asked hurriedly, you turned to him and shook your head "nope the tv and disc seems fine" you walked to turn the lights on but the moment the switch flipped the bulb blew. Ah! Yall both screamed.Epel looked at you, he saw you standing there frowning from the fairy lights glow.

"Maybe the ghosts are pranking us?" He said trying to calm both of yalls nerves "no, it can't be they told me they were gonna chill in the school so they won't bother us….they even swore" you spoke in a low voice "we got some flashlights in the kitchen can you for me while I try to clean up the glass." Epel frowned and answered you quickly,too quickly."um…how about we get them together?" He said quickly as he stood up from his spot, you saw right through him though.

"What? Are you scared epel?" You teased knowing dang well you're scared too, the boy stiffened like a child would when they got caught doing something they aren't supposed to.“Scared who do you think I am prefect?” You looked smug….too smug at that moment he ran off into the kitchen…it's quiet….yep he's dead r.i.p you thought to yourself , you heard a noise from across the room and a chill ran up your spine ad you saw one spot was darker than rest of the room…where is he??? 

BOO!

Epel comes from your left and gazes into your eyes with a triumphant look,as he held 2 flashlights in his hands."told ya I'm not scared" he pauses as he sees you trembling "Hey what's up with ya did I spook ya that bad?" You didn't reply all you did was point across the room,the boy looked where you were pointing at and spoke again "what are ya pointin' at prefect??" You stare at him and said "didn't you come from over there…?" Your hand was now shaking  and he noticed it,shaking his head he looked back at the stop you were pointing at.

"No…why?" You went pale and faced him again, grabbing his hand and taking him to another room."i…I heard something in the corner of the room and I saw a silhouette…" he also turned pale thinking of something that could ease both of yalls hazey minds…"it's maybe nothing I'll go get check it out!" You snorted "really?" You put your hands on your hips "you're gonna beat up the ghost for me, princey poo" you batted your eyelashes at him, forgetting the fear that once laid in your stomach! 

He huffed and grabbed what seemed to be a table leg "just stay behind me yn" he said as he exited the room you giggled as you followed him down the hall “Don’t laugh at me y/n!” he yelled ''Okay my little cotton swab♡♡ go fight the ghost then!'' You point to the corner of the room where you saw and heard the thing.

Epel gets closer to the corner and he sees it, it had short black hair and some bald spots it's hair was everywhere and looked knotted and it looked scrawny and pale with its spine sticking out,it kept making low grumbles as epel raised the table leg it swiftly turned around and crawled on all four towards him.

AHHHHHHH!!!!!! Epel let out a bone chilling scream as it crawled towards him with its deformed face, you ran to him and grabbed his arm running towards the only room that had a lock….your room.You locked the door and hugged epel for dear life as yall sat on the bed "Epel calm down" you spoke to him whispering a mix of apologies and little nothings in his ears, little do you know your voice is like music to his ears slowly but surely you lulled him to asleep. 

The world layed comfortably on your shoulder and you held him as if he was sand slipping through your fingers, you held him and his heart like it was glass with care and precaution.You soon found yourself tired wanting to aslo rest you laid your head on top of his and fell in a deep slumber;not before saying you love him and giving him a goodnight kiss though.

Knock …

      Knock….

             Knock….

The knock stopped and the sound of the jigging door handle echoed in the room, with two oblivious and sleeping nrc students.The Door slowly creaked open due to ramshackle being old,Looks like they are asleep?Jack spoke,"no fare they had a sleepover and didn’t invite us”Ace spoke, crossing his arms in the process,“shut up Ace you're gonna wake them up” grim spat at him,making a fuss between the two of them.

“We will give them five more minutes" deuce said as he looked up at Jack, only receiving a nod of approval.

"Hey" deuce said "ain't these those chips that makes creepy illusions?" He looked at them once more and sat them down, "come on guys let's let them rest a bit more"

[gas-stxtion]

@modestmuses said: Before Jack can cross the threshold of the door, Silco grabs him by the wrist, frowning deeply, lines of worry etched into his forehead. "You're not going into work today. You're not going into work ever again. I don't care if there's no one else to cover your shift. Let the place sit empty. To hell with them."

Jack freezes up, mostly unintentionally, when Silco grabs him by the wrist. The older man’s grasp isn’t rough or painful by any means, but the unexpected touch still catches him off-guard. He relaxes quickly enough, though. Silco is one of the few people who can do that, who can grab Jack unexpectedly, in part because he so rarely does. More often than not, he makes sure Jack is in control of when and how he is touched, which is something Jack very much appreciates.

Which means that he knows immediately that Silco is very serious when the older man grabs his wrist, gentle but firm, and when he turns his head he sees an expression of blatant worry on his face. The words aren’t exactly unexpected--he and Silco have been talking about him quitting his job at the gas station for some months now, after all. He knows how Silco feels about the gas station well by now.

What is surprising, though, is the urgency behind those words. Jack meets Silco’s eyes as he looks back, and though he can only maintain the eye contact for a few seconds before it becomes overwhelming, he knows his partner isn’t going to let this go so easily.

Immediately, Jack feels terrible, because he knows Silco has a real point in all of this and many very, very good reasons to want him to quit. Even aside from Jack’s general stagnation throughout his twenties, his job at the gas station has put him in the direct line of fire of so many people and entities that want him dead (or worse, even). Especially in the last two years or so, Jack has been in peril more often than not, and he knows that his life would be significantly easier and safer if he did just as Silco is saying right now and never went back. Perhaps not totally safe, but definitely better than he’s doing now.

But it’s not that easy. Jack knows he doesn’t have a choice in this, not anymore (if he ever did).

“I-” Jack swallows, biting his lip. “I have to,” he says, the words sounding hollow, even to him. “I don’t want to go back, but I have to. I-I mean, I’m the one the owners trusted to take over after they died.” Sure, they didn’t tell him as such, and they were usually pretty shitty to him when they were alive, but he thinks that being the only person named in their will, at least where the gas station is concerned, means a lot. He knows Silco understands this kind of loyalty and obligation--he has to… right?

“If I just don’t go and let everything fall apart, then i-it feels like everything’s just been for nothing. I owe them. I-I mean, yeah, I wanna quit, but then they left it to me and now I have to make sure it keeps going.” Jack doesn’t want to fight, but the idea of just… not going back, at least not without making sure things will be okay without him, is enough to make his head swim and his skin itch unpleasantly. He can’t do that to them, he just can’t.

“I have to go,” he says again, more to himself than anything. Yet, he makes no move to try and remove Silco’s grip or leave. His eyes fall to the ground for a second, then he looks back up at Silco, his expression deeply conflicted.

“I’ll be okay,” Jack says softly. As he’s prone to do when he gets nervous, he soon starts babbling. “I-I mean, we do keep a shotgun in the store now, so if anything happens I can protect myself. And, besides, I’m not working alone today--Jerry’s gonna be there, too, so unless he wanders off to go smoke weed in the woods or something then it’ll be okay. ‘Cause, y’know, Jerry’s kind of a coward sometimes but he’s usually pretty good in a crisis, at least when he knows what’s going on.” He cuts himself off there, not wanting to go into the million and one excuses and justifications hiding right behind his teeth.

Because he knows, at the end of the day, none of them really matter.

Jack takes a step closer to Silco, tentatively resting his hand on the older man’s own where it’s still gripping his wrist. Jack’s hands are cold, as they always are, but his touch is gentle and, he hopes, reassuring. Not that he thinks it's going to make Silco feel better about all of this--he knows it won't be that easy. But Jack truthfully doesn't know what to do here. He is well and truly out of his depth.

No, Jack doesn't want to go back, and he wants to leave it all behind and be fucking happy and safe, but the obligation he feels to the owners and the gas station as a whole means he can't just back down from the job they left him.

It's almost funny, but Jack can't find it in himself to laugh right now.

[tarjapearce]

Quite The Unexpected (Pt. 11)

PAIRINGS: Aiden Pearce x Fem! Reader.

WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Nudity, sexual language, mentions of snuff, pedophilia, xenophobia, racism deaths of characters, blood and body trauma.

"The backup has been uploaded." "That's great. I'm testing their security system and, I think we might've given them too much credit."

"That's what we felt about the bunker, and look what happened."

T-Bone grunted in discomfort. "I know. No need to rub salt in old wounds, pal. But, we've learned from our mistakes. And I've got encrypted. Raymond Kenney style."

Aiden smirked as he kept on watching the surveillance cameras outside another hacking member he had identified.

"Alright, I've got the three. None of them are past 30. And they seem to hang out alot with The Boss in this underground club called "Clifton's". It looks like a regular bar but rumor goes that it has a sub-level where stuff happens. And by stuff I mean drugs, women, you know, illegal shit."

"I might need to blend in." "Or you could watch from afar first instead of going directly for them" "You speak of it as if I'm not aware of what implies goin' in." "Alriiight. Alright. You haven't had your morning coffee yet, it seems."

Aiden rubbed his face almost in annoyance. Why he was cranky, he didn't know. But what he knew he needed was to fight. He needed to beat someone, the sooner, the better.

Or sex.

He stopped his mind from wandering off and sighed, pushing his phone back  on his ear.

"Aiden?" "Sorry. I got distracted." "Yeah. Noted. You know, if you want to wait, we can do so-" "No. I've got this." "You sure, pal? Cause not having a proper focus will end up in you being killed. Is something wrong?" "Not really just... need to blow off some steam." "Right..."

T-Bone cleared his throat and again, Aiden could hear mirth in his tone. "You know? I know some couple of girls that would be thri-" "No. I've got enough of it for now."

T-Bone laughed and Aiden rolled his eyes. "No offense pal, but I was starting to think you were like the people that don't feel any sort of sexual desire towards someone... how you call em? Ah! asexuals."

"What are you talking about?" "Or were into guys. About damn time you got some. Who was the saint?" He gasped, "Was it Clara's sister?"

"T-Bone." Aiden warned and Kenney felt like a kid in a candy store.

"Right. Sorry. She hates your guts, true."

Aiden scowled at his words but exhaled softly. "A coworker of hers. Now, moving on-" "A coworker? Ahh, amigo. Way to truly  fuck it up." "Why fuck it up? (Name) has a boyfriend already." "(Name)? Cute. Bet she's cute." "T-Bone." Again, he warned and T-Bone laughed.

"Relax, man. Friend's girls are off limits." "She's not-" "Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm just fucking with you. But seeing your grouchy ass is on charge of you today, we better get back to work. Like I was saying, I've got the three identified. It seems like these Videnko guys are siblings or something. The leader of the hacking team is a Videnko." "It seems the Boss would end up being a Videnko too."

"Most likely. So far we've got four of them. And I took my time to investigate them further. These guys are dangerous, and I mean it, Aiden. Some have international warrants. The guy who is in charge of the videos? Ilya, is labeled as a terrorist in Russia, and this hacker guy is wanted for cyber-terrorism and hacktivism."

"You think is linked with Dedsec?" "At all. Or wait... Actually? I think he had a couple of tries to get in with Dedsec. Or at least that's what this Wrench guy once told me. Let me ask them to see if it's the same guy." "Alright. I must come up with a plan. Gotta blend in if I wanna get in the club."

"Any news from your other contact on the politicians?" "Nothing new. But I'm sure the guy will do his job. He's competent."

"Well, he better hurry up cause if we're hunting these fuckers down, we need as much info we can get from them. We can't screw this up."

----

"Hey." Erik kissed your cheek by surprise wich you could only stare at him for a couple of seconds before kissing him back.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" "Just wanted to say goodbye. Got call from Linden's. Gotta go as soon as I can." "What? So soon?"

"I know, it sucks." He watched you desinfecting a patient's wound before going for the stitching kit. "But I gotta go." "It's alright. I know it's gonna be just two weeks. Then I get to have you all to myself." You giggled and kissed him, wich he returned.

"(Name) your patient is awaiting!" "Coming!" You replied at Rita. "I also gotta go. The kid needs some stitching." "Yeah. I will call you everynight though." "Alright. Have a safe trip, mon chérie." "You speaking french, does... umph. You don't know what you do to me." He kissed you again and smiled.

"Eww" The kid scrunched his nose in disgust upon watching you both

You both laughed and nodded. "Sorry, sorry." "I'll see you in two weeks." "Yes, sir. Dine and wine me after?" "You know me."

Erik and you both kissed once more before he left and you returned to your works. "You guys are disgusting." The kid spoke and you chuckled. "And so is this gash." You stuck your tongue out to him and he chuckled. "What you were doing anyways?" You applied some local anesthesics and begun your stitching.

"Playing with the lawn mower. And it's not the way you think. I was racing my brother to see who mowed the lawn quicker, but I fell and the stupid machine passed over my arm." "Good thing it didn't reach this section. Or else you'd be armless."

You saw the kid cringe as you worked on his wound. ----

"Hey, any news on the politicians?" "Hello, Pearce and yep. You'll have to access this website to get the files. They're hosted up in a cloud. They've got funky names by the way so don't panic."

Aiden awaited for the link and took a swig of a energy drink.

"For what I could gather, these guys are straight up pedos. One of them has been going to this club, 'Portier's' here in San Francisco." "How do you know his location?" "I drove him yesterday, twice. Took some evidence for you. Is my job done?" "Unfortunately, no. I know you'd rather be killing for money-"

"How sweet, you know me so well." "You might have the chance once you finish". "Now we're talking. Anyways, I gotta go. A fixer's contract just showed up." "Right."

Aiden hung up the call and looked back at the prints displayed in his screen. He had gotten the blueprints of the club and now he only had to figure out a plan.

In his way of trying to identify or get more of The Boss, he'd have to get in and that would imply knowing every single space inside, even the emergency exits. Wich the place only had two.

The upper stairs and the exit door next to the stage. The walls had a thick revestment, wich it would mean protection in case things went ugly. He'd get some gadgets with him, like smoke bombs, the coms jammers, and the most important one, the CTos Scan. A couple of hidden guns and his so ever trusted baton.

If the lead he had was true, he could identify the guy and start his manhunt. He took a seat and hacked in the cameras inside Clifton's. Just like T-Bone has said, it looked like a regular fancy bar.

Red carpet that matched the marroon and golden furniture that filled in the place. The mahogany tables contrasted with the marbled edges of the black and golden bar. The whole place was  divided in three sections. The stage, the tables and the bars. The stage of course was in the middle, the tables scattered around before the stage and the bars on each side.

He could see from the cameras a door on the right side of the stage, guarded by two guards that easily blended in as part of Clifton's staff, since everyone, including the bartenders wore a full on black suit. The only way to tell them apart was by the color of their bowties and ties. The service people wore bowties, men red and women golden, and the bartenders wore ties. In the exact color scheme. But the guards, neither had bowties or ties.

Good details.

He then hacked into a goon's hidden camera and started recording. He could see the stairs, also 'dressed up' in the upper floor's colors. And within seconds he then transferred to the main cameras pn the sub-level. The layout was exactly as the upper floor, but, instead of a main stage, it had different pole canes installed around the place.

Some were caged, others like he'd be in a night club. There were few people scattered around, mostly goons.

Total of 8.

There was one guarding each corner, and the rest blended in. But again, no ties or bowties. Aiden could get in as a bar tender, but again, several things could go wrong. To starters, he didn't know if the bartenders were russian, he didn't know any sort of recipe, and it'd be quite noticeable he is brand new in the bar.

The only thing he knew about alcohol is that he liked it, irish and scotch whiskey to start with. It had the best 'punch'. He then downloaded the files and begun going through them, his stomach flipped in disgust.

Both of the politicians had been investigated by sexual misconduct with minors.

Jordi will have a hell of a time killing these bastards.

The images Jordi had sent was the politician along a teenage girl, she didn't look like passing the sixteens, of course her makeup would make them seem as older and they would pass up as grown ups.

This guy got involved in a public scandal with his attorney, then for sexual assault. Sick fuck.

Aiden kept adding felonies this politician. The other one was a bit more discreet, but still, it didn't make him less sick. Illegal animal ring fights, furs and illegal hunts, racism and xenophobia, along financing child labor campaings in foreign countries.

And this one made look his campaign in pro of immigrants. Too bad this information will be out.

He smirked. Aiden enjoyed when these sort of chances with politicians came up, and it was even better when they had a good reputation.

This is why I kept doing it.

For the thrill of getting people what they deserved? No. For Justice.

Politicians always promise, but never actually get shit done. Time to be put in timeout.

It was kind of ironic how the pedophile one had the highest chance to become a new mayor in another state.

It's not gonna be possible, big guy.

The Fox had seen enough about the files and soon he begun getting ready.

He dressed up fancily, wich was key on the dress code if he wanted to go in. He wore a black suit with a gray button shirt. His old Vigilante scarf was the perfect accesory since it looked like a silk scarf, and it matched perfectly his color scheme. His gun was hidden on his feet and his baton in his left ankle.

He shaved his beard and styled his hair to a side. He looked like a wealthy man. The perfect type of target for the mobsters downstairs.

He was wealthy, although illegally, but wealthy nonetheless. The plan was simple. He'd go in just to survey the area and to try an identify The Boss or anything that would lead to him. In previous hacked conversations he saw that the main leader would actually visit the club.

This was his chance. The guy had gotten away once and he was slippery enough to do it again. If not careful, he could make all of it longer. But he knew that it was possible with patience.

He hid all the devices he could and soon went out the door. He jammed a car and drove to the club.

These guys make the mob back in Chicago look like boys scouts.

He parked on the sub-level of the club for an easy escape and walked in Security wasn't that much strict, the metallic sensors the guards had didn't scanned him completely, so his gear could go undected on the top floors. But in the lower floor, he needed to be cautious. The club's insides were as lavish and fancy as the cameras had shown him.

There was a group playing live, jazz and blues. His green eyes scanned the area, looking for the guards. He took a seat at one of the empty tables, soon a waiter took his order. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. The corner of his eyes caught something. One of the atendees approached where the two guards would be and showed them a golden sort of ticket, then he was able to through.

He hacked the cameras and could take a closer look to what the golden ticket was.

An invitation?

The question was where would he'd get one. Were they coded? Did each of them had a special sort of number? He couldn't make out much from the ticket besides it being golden and having some embossed letters on it.

Guess I'll have to sneak in.

There was no more guards around. His phone was a weapon that could cause any sort of distraction within seconds. A blackout would be the most ideal thing, however, the club had a perfect reputation. And it'd be obvious something was going on.

The club was his playground, he could hack, make things and people explode. But for now, he's stick to non-letal distractions to avoid any suspicions.

Gotta make those two to move.

He first activated the alarms of two cars, but it wasn't enough to make them move. Just put the vallets in a brief panic. The cameras outside showed him that there was a couple of explosive-prone things.

Sorry, pal. Nothing personal.

He pressed the button and one pipe blew, knocking the boiling hot pipe's air on the two vallets. Their scream was enough for the remaining vallet to call them off. It was his chance. Waiters kept coming and going, minding their business. And when none was looking, Aiden snuck in.

The stairs came in spiral, lights lighted the way downstairs where he could hear faint music, wich volume increased as he kept approaching. When reaching the bottom of the stairs there was a completely different scenery before him.

The music was upbeat, women danced in cages, mostly skimpily dressed, leaving little to the imagination. Others danced in the pole canes, the guard downstairs gave him a mask. It was a black one, silky smooth finish. Once he got it on, he was allowed to roam free.

Some women threw themselves to him, touching him and dancing, he could see some other atendees engaging with them. And just as the cameras had showed him, there was a guard on every corner of the room. And many others roaming free. He could count 10 in total.

The emergency exits were in the spot he'd visualized before. He went to the bar and asked for another whiskey. A guard stood by him and looked at Aiden with mirth.

"Ready to bid?" The guard smirked as he downed his drink in one gulp. His accent heavy.

"Sure do. Yeah." "That's the fucking spirit! The boss like it when people aren't afraid to indulge themselves. What are you into?" "Came here for the women. And maybe business." "Ahh, good. Women are the best. You could beat them as much as you want and they'd keep quiet." The guard was clearly drunk, and maybe also high as it was easy to get information out. "Hope you stay for the halftime show." "A show?" "Yeah. Didn't they tell you?" He hiccuped and smirked, "We'll get a live show." The guard grope on Aiden's shoulder and cackled, "We're getting into a big bloody show today. And guess whose gonna help? Take a guess. C'mon." "You?" "Meee." The man blew his drunk breath on Aiden, who just scrunched up his nose in disgust. But it was his chance. "What's your boss name?" "It was... eh... Yurik. Wait no. I don't remember."  The man downed another one and smiled, "He's one of the most badass boss you'll ever meet." "Is he?" "Da! He's good with guns. And business. Look how many people are here at this production!"

Production?

"Is he coming today?" Aiden downed his drink. "Of course! He's the main lead on our show. You know him?!" "I wish. Sounds like a man you'd want to be." Aiden kept the conversation along, talking when necessary just to get as much information out.

"Da. Lots of millions each month. And women. Women love him." "I bet. Does he treat you good?" "Oh yes. Da. I'd give my life for him" he beated his chest proudly. "Does he have siblings?" "Oohh yes. But we don't talk about that... traitor." "Traitor?" Aiden invited the guard another one, and he gladly accepted the drink. "Yurik, the rat, got away when the boss was growing on the business. He didn't like it. Took a few millions with him. But boss is good. So he let him escape. Yurik has a girl now. No offense. But she's american." "They fought over it?" "A...lot." "The boss didn't like when Yurik told him that he was dating an american girl. But he let his brother to get away with it."

The guard yawned and took another one.

"No offense but american, gurls. No good. Too much trouble."

Aiden chuckled.

"К черту, Орли. Оставьте гостя в покое!*" the other guard pulled the drunk guard away from The Fox and sighed.

"My apologies, sir. This idiot doesn't know how to behave. Let's go."

The other guard dragged his subordinate away as the drunk one giggled and spoke in a slurred russian.

A show?

Aiden was smart enough to figure out that the show would result in someone being killed.

And if they're the same sick fucks, they'd film it and sell it.

His suspicions were confirmed upon seeing Ilya laughing and drinking with some other people. The place was like a debauchery room.  Some of the women were stripped and pulled into more private spots. Aiden could hear some moanings, despite the music eachoing loud and clear.

He started to feel a buzz through his body that slowly started to feel a mix of emotions he only got upon trying Defalt's digital trips.

How didn't he notice? Of course the drug would take it's time in doing effect. And now he was starting to feel them, he needed to either cover his ears or hack the Dj booth. Just a few taps on his phone and it was done.

His body felt relieved upon the music changing, but many for not saying mostly were already too high to actually stop whatever they were doing.

He saw some of the guards suddenly to reunite at the entrance and finally he could see his face. For some reason he could feel a deja vù. The man was tall, brown haired, slicked back, hazel eyes, a couple of tattoos sneaking up on his neck and knuckles. A thick cigar on his hands. He greeted Ilya in a way people greet their family. He shook a couple of hands and for Aiden's luck, he came his way.

The boss offered Aiden his hand, and Aiden greeted him.

"Welcome!" His voice was deep, a bit harsh and raspy, but held enough kindness to make anyone feel welcomed. Aiden however didn't detect any sort of accent on him. "One of my subordinates told me you came here for business. Antoyev."

"Richard. Impossible to lose a chance like this. Your men convinced me, actually." "They're good men, Da. Why don't we speak more privately, once the show ends?" "Of course." Aiden nodded and Antoyev just chuckled. His hazel eyes trying to figure out who was behind that black and slick mask.

"Следи за этим парнем.*" The boss mumbled to one of the men nearby him, then he moved on the next guest and so on. Now that he had identified him, he could go and search whatever he could find about him.

He made his way towards the main entrance. Giving curt nods to the other atendees. He noticed one of the goons following him from afar, when a girl, dressed in white lingerie stopped him. She made a motion to Aiden to follow her. And if he wanted to blend in and get rid of the tailing goon, he'd have to 'indulge himself'.

He followed the woman, to a more private spot. Those 'spots' were booths  that had an u shaped, red leather seat, a pole cane and of course some condoms in a small tray ontop of the table nearby. The woman closed the courtains and pushed Aiden to the seat. She climbed ontop of him and smirked.

"I need you to listen." She mumbled softly, enough for him to pay attention. Aiden looked at her way and his hands started to roam her body slowly. The woman moaned loudly purposely, and then gave a glance to the floor. He could see someone walking away.

"You were being followed." "I know." "You have to get me out of here. Please." She mumbled in between kisses on his neck.

The accent on the woman was slightly heavy, and that's when she removed her bra.

"They have cameras in here so play along." The woman licked his ear and he couldn't help but shudder at the sensation, but his discipline made sure he kept the composture.

"What is this place?" "Isn't that obvious?" The woman replied as her hands sauntered over his chest.

"Heard one of the guys talking about a show. What is it?" "The show is someone getting killed. And that someone is me." She licked his cheek softly, "you are supposed to touch me. Now."

His hands were on her breasts and squeezed them softly, then pulled her down to kiss her neck. She arched her back and moaned as her hips grinded on his. He could see a red spot on the camera but then it went off. That's where the woman stopped and grinded harder on him, this earned a groan from him. And that's when she stopped with a smile.

She covered her breast again and Aiden exhaled.

"Look, as much as I'd love to ride you, I need you to get me out of here. I... I don't wanna die. And much less to have someone to film it and sell it." "So that's the show." "A lot of women have been killed like this. That guy, Antoyev is always requested in the videos. He's cruel."

The woman braced herself and looked up at the cameras. "They turn it off as soon ad the business start to... you know. Get real. Fucking perverts."

"Do you have any sort of tracking device on you?" "On my back. A tattoo."

Just like Poppy.

"I can help you. If you help me."

"I won't suck your cock okay? "

"I'm not... Look. None of that is gonna happen. I need you to tell me everything you know about Antoyev."

"That's the problem, приятель. We are not allowed near him. Just few lucky women do. And I haven't gotten that luck. And look at me!. All I know is that he works abroad with a shipping company"

"Alright. When does the show starts?" "In half an hour. Ilya is setting up the cameras. Everyone is here to see me being butchered." "Do they sedate the women?" "If they're good? Yes. They give them a merciful death. These guys are serious." "I know. That's why I wanna hunt them down."

The woman just looked at him and gave a nod. "You're not the first one in saying so. How are we getting out?" "See those air ventilations?" "I don't fit there."

Aiden went silent and sighed. "This wasn't in my plans." "Don't you dare in leaving me here. I beg you. I chose you because Antoyev doesn't cross words with anyone. He asked one of his guys to keep an eye on you because he feels threatened. He doesn't like foreigners to be snooping in his business."

"You know him more than you let on." "Years of working on this club has make me quite the reader of people. Now, time is running. In twenty something minutes I am supposed to be fetched and drugged. If you are going to help me it's the chance." "Blackouts are a good distraction." "We've never had blackouts before." "There's always a first." "We have some back up generators. One underneath the main stage, and the other one on the bar's floor."

"That's a stupid place to put a generator." "Right?!" The woman chuckled and she smiled at him.

"I'm Yelena. I go by Rosie around here." "Joe." "You don't look like a Joe to me." "Exactly. We gotta play smart. You can take the bar's generator out and I'l take the stage one. I could cause an explosion to them, but that would be too obvious. The more discreet we do things, the more chances we get to go alive from here."

"Promise me, you'll do anything possible to get me out. The others have lost hope. I wanna give them that. I want to give them something they can hold on." "Sorry to break it, but hope is a sad thing." "For you. For me, is everything. And if I die trying, then so be it. But I rather go fighting."

He sighed and held up his hands. "Alright. Let's get us out. Once the generators are out, you go to the door next to the stage. And if you have the chance to change your shoes, do it. We'll have to run." "The device on my back" "Don't worry."

He positioned his phone and made it look like he would take a picture. Yelena whined as the device gave her a small shortcut.

"Done. They'll think you're still here. But once we get out they'll be no longer able to track you." "If we weren't escaping for our lives, I'd kiss you." "Appreciated but don't. Now, let's go." "Ooh, have a girlfriend?" Aiden ignored her wich she just smirked. "If you do, doing things like this still count as cheating. приятель"

Yelena fluffed our her hair and smeared her makeup purposely. To create a 'done' look. Aiden was the first in going out, he straightened his suit and went to the bar. The goon that had been following him was now out of sight. He sat at one of the tables and soon hacked on the camera to where the stage was. He'd have to hack it as soon as possible before the intrusion was read and the alarms went off.

Thanks to T-Bone, the both had hacked into the Bratva's hardrive and gotten the access to the CtOs. So escaping would be relatively easier. His part was done once he succesfully hacked into the generator's security code. He could see Yelena drinking and knocking over some bottles on the floor. The bartenders trying to get her off the bar as people cheered at her.

There was a slight power outage and soon Yelena disappeared out of his sight just to appear minutes later next to the door, barefoot. People were now murmuring upon a light cloud of smoke and a buzz came from behind the bar. Mostly thought it was all part of the show so they clapped on.

He was about to cause a blackout when Ilya held on Yelena by her wrist and pulled her to him, a tad rough.

"There you are! What are you doing here? You gotta go get ready for the show!" None had to be a genius to notice that Ilya was pulling forcefully the blonde. "You've been a bad girl. Look what you did to the bartenders! Now they have to clean all of your mess." He gritted his teeth on the last part.

Yelena fought and tried to pull away from him, but one slap of Ilya was enough to keep her still. Aiden made his way towards the conmotion and pushed one of the atendees against Ilya. Being the violent man he was, Illya took the man by the neck and begun beating and cussed at him in russian.

People around started to scream and run away from the fight area, even the dancers and women around. None wanted to face the Producer's wrath. This was distraction enough for Yelena to get away from Ilya and she ran towards the entrance. Some atendees begun going away through the spiral stairs, despite Antoyev's attempts to calm everyone down.

Aiden caused a blackout.

People now ran and screamed in panic in all directions trying to also escape, Aiden took Yelena with him and they finally managed to make their way through the sea of people that had clumped on both exits, fleeing through the emergency exit after dumping the mask nearby the tables.

"Start the car. Now!" Aiden pulled out his gadgets, first he jammed and deactivated the communications from  the upcoming reinforcements, then, he threw a gas bomb where he had just came out, feeding the collective hysteria and pulled his gray vigilante scarf up his face.

"Wich one?!" Yelena looked around in panic.

Hell broke lose.

Bullets started in a couple of rounds and then rained everywhere.

"Joe!" Yelena screamed as she scrambed away, hiding behind an SUV. Aiden fired back, shooting at everything that moved as he shot his way through to reach behind the SUV. Antoyev came out, and pulled out his handgun. He shot three times. The first one impacting on the mirror next to Aiden, blocking temporarily his sight.

The second one on the SUV's window, breaking it into tiny shards that exploded on Aiden sides, making him to groan in pain as he ducked over.  The last one  just echoed in Aiden's direction.

Aiden shot on Antoyev's direction and focused to shoot him on his shooting arm, then took out Ilya, with a clean shot on his forehead. Yelena finally got the chance to get in the car.

He scrambled away to get in the car and escape. Yelena couldn't help but yell in excitement as the car roared further and further through the streets. Their victory however would last little as other goons tailed after them.

Let's see if the access works properly.

As he pressed a button, one of the sewers blew up in scorching steam, the explosion taking out two of the cars that followed them. The explosive wave sending Aiden's car forward. It felt so thrilling, despite it being a familiar sensation.

"Watch out!" Yelena curled into the space between the passenger seat and the car's dashboard when one of the cars began shooting at the rear and lateral windows.

"Do you know how to use a weapon?" "Da!" Yelena yelped when the car abruptly turned left.

"Then fucking shoot!" Aiden handed over the gun and pushed the accelerator as deep as he could. Yelena took the weapon and soon, began shooting randomly. The gun's charger was emptied to the car next to them. Yelena had managed, although with some difficulties, to bring down the driver, the passenger and the car to detour into an alleyway to crash.

One car left.

Aiden kept on driving, turning and skipping through ways to escape. Maybe he had finally found his match at driving since no matter how he drifted, the goon kept tailing him.

"Hold on tight" Aiden grunted as he tried to hold his injured side. Yelena immediately secured herself with the seatbelt, Aiden did a risky turn to then activate the bollards from the ground, the goons collided fair and square on them, destroying the car completely.The men's bodies were crushed between the car debris and the bollards.

Aiden glanced one last time to them and drove to a safer zone. His heart however kept on beating and just when he tried to accomodate on his seat, felt the true instensity of the pain that the shards of glass burried in his side inflicted.

"You're bleeding." Yelena noted and Aiden whined softly in response. His breath hitched.

"I'll drop you off soon. Where?" "Airport. I have a friend in there. She will help me out." "You sure?" "Da. Uhm... we could stop by a-" "No. I'll be fine."

Aiden kept on glancing back to see if anyone kept on following them, his hand never leaving his wounded abdomen to apply pressure. The adrenaline felt like a drug that was at his highest peak on him.

"Take that coat" It was a leather trencoat he had removed before entering Clifton's.

"Thank you." Yelena put on the trenchcoat  and secured it on her body and smiled, then she cupped Aiden's cheek gently and kissed him.

"Don't die, приятель." She gave a last smooch and got off the car. Aiden awaited for her to go inside to then drive off.

Can't get medical supplies like this.

He dialed Jordi but he never answered. Wich mean he was out of reach.

T-Bone.

His fingers trembled everytime he moved. The shards dug deeper if he moved forward, but still he managed to call T-Bone.

"Kenney..." he mumbled in between raged gasp. "Don't mean to be rude but... I rather stick as friends pal. I don't think like that about you."

Laughing was almost as painful as the sharp glass cutting through his tissue and muscles.

"The nearest medical facility?" "What? Are you ok?" "No. Where." He almost growled.

The sound of some keyboards being pushed kept him alert. Adrenaline was slowly wearing off his body. His side felt burning, dull pain on his mid section and unceasing pulsations from the inside.

"Two miles away" "Fuck." "Aiden, are you ok?" "No. I think I was shot." "You think?! What happened?!

There was a silence and T-Bone sighed. "Found the boss. Shot him too."

"That makes things worse. I know, the nearest hospital-"

T-Bone could heard a lound honk from the outside. "You'll have to go to a hospital, pal. Gunshots are serious."

"No time for that." Aiden laboured in between gasps. "I'll be fine. I'll call you back soon." "Wait! I know someo-"

He had to stop midway in the highway to steady his breath, after abruptly ending up the call with T-Bone.

C'mon, Pearce.

He grunted as he pressed the accelerator with his foot and drove. His sight at times blurred but once he was in a familiar zone, he skipped a beat.

He abandoned the car in a parking lot and inhaled sharply upon walking. His whole energy was spent trying to lose the henchmen, dropping off Yelena and trying to keep himself awake. He walked and finally was inside your building. He took the elevator, and his left foot sloshed in his shoe.

Soon. Just hold on.

He'd take some time to open the door and go the bathroom. If the door was left open , he didn't care. He needed antibiotics, bandages and some alcohol. The shards had cut deep enough.

He hadn't paid attention, but he had left a small bloody trail in your apartment's entrance leading back to him. His gray shirt felt damp. The adrenaline surely had left his body weak and weary. He took the tweezers, removed his suit and unbuttoned his shirt. He could see some pieces of glass poking out of the once fancy shirt and of course a bullet hole on both sides of his shirt.

Cold sweat ran down his spine as his body shuddered while he tried to pull out the bigger shards.

The front door creaked and then closed.

He swallowed, and took his baton out. ---

You had a long day at work and exhausted was a tiny fraction of how you felt. Your eye swelling had decreased considerably. But the bruise, so ever black, blue, purple and yellow was still there. You only wanted to get home, a hot bath and a nice dinner you've gotten for yourself.

Your heart sunk and beat upon seeing your door ajar. A blood handprint on it. You took your keys, accomodating them between your fingers, ready to strike. But the rustling and grunting in your bathroom only made you to grip your keys tighter, but then you found the broom and grabbed it.

The grunting only increased followed by erratic breaths.

"What the fuck..." exhaling deeply you found the courage to suddenly kick the door open, broom in both hands ready to attack, but a hand, a very metallic scented hand covered your mouth. There was a clank on the floor. And from what you could see, it was a baton along your broom.

"Don't make a noise." He heaved in pain and pushed you gently against the wall, "please."

Your body trembled, tears had flooded your eyes but you could still see Aiden's silhouette. Slouched, panting and gasping for air. The very familiar metallic scent you were used to see on a daily basis, suddenly felt too overwhelming to bear. He removed his hands from your mouth, leaving a stain on your face making you to gag.

"W-What... what happened?." You croaked. "..." he grunted as he tried to stand up but his weight was starting to feel too heavy, even for him.

"Help me." He gulped and his knees begun to feel weak. His body crashed against yours and you could feel warm  dampness on your skin and clothes. You shook your head as your heart pounded against your ribcage so painfully that it made you yelp when you felt the shards on his side as you tried to support him.

His chin now resting on your shoulder and his hands slipping away from the wall to avoid putting all his weight at once on you. You panted softly, the anxiety begun eating you alive. 

"A-Aiden?" "P... Please. Just.."  He felt heavier on you. He was passing out. "Just this time." You shook your head vehemently as tears rolled down your cheeks. "I... I don't have the right equipment here, we gotta... go... to a.. a... a hospital."

"Can't..." he mumbled so ever quietly. Now it was your time to swallow, hard. It hurted to even breathe as he was now practically going limp on your shoulders.

"C-Can you make it to the guest room?"

He shook his head and exhaled slowly.

"...rry." "Aiden?!" You called but there was no answer. Instead, his body finally plumetted on yours. You caught his upper body with an 'oomph', as your legs did their best to support the whole weight. 

"Aiden..." you grunted while trying to get him off you. "Aiden wake up... you can't do this!. Not here." You nearly sobbed as panick rose. "Please..." His blood made him hard to hold, you could feel him slowly slipping away from your grip.

He fell on the floor with ease as you tried to make his fall less painful, but it almost brought you down with him. Your uniform was damp. A huge bright and glossy red stain adorned your once pristine aquamarine uniform and shoes.

Your knees gave up and you covered your mouth with your hands, suppressing a sob as you stared at an unconscious and bleeding Aiden on the floor.

Shit.

------------ К черту, Орли. Оставьте гостя в покое!*" - Goddammit Orley, leave the guest alone! Следи за этим парнем.*" - Keep an eye on this guy. приятель* - Buddy, pal, friend.

[jillvalcntines-archive]

5 SONG PAIRING PLAYLIST !!

i was tagged by @aartyom, @denerims & @arklay to make the five song playlist for a ship of mine! thank you so much, and i am so sorry this took me so long!

tagging: @mandalhoerian @aelyosos @girlbosselrond @cultistbase @morvaris && everyone who hasn't done and wants to do this !!

1. iris — DIAMANTHE & breaking benjamin

and i'd give up forever to touch you / 'cause i know that you feel me somehow / you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be / and i don't want to go home right now [...] and i don't want the world to see me / 'cause i don't think that they'd understand / when everythings' meant to be broken / i just want you to know who i am

Considering this song got out in the year they both met, and definitely won't have an official cameo in Saints & Sinners, it explains so well, how they think of each other and yet don't dare to go any further... first. especially carmen has a "people will keep on judging me for having belonged to umbrella... but you know who i truly am".

2. i'll be good — jaymes young

i thought i saw the devil this morning / looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue / with the warning to help me see myself clearer / i never meant to start a fire / i never meant to make you bleed / i'll be a better man today / and i'll love the world, like i should / for all of the times that i never could

it's the song about the times they have both been depressed, lost hope and were about to give up, and yet kept going because of each other. "better man" in this context is meant as in human. the two last highlighted phrases are foreshadowing of what is to come or in one way, already happened, still i don't want to give away too many spoilers...

3. let me down slowly — alec benjamin & alessia cara

don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste / i once was a man/girl with dignity and grace / now i'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace [...] a little sympathy, i hope you can show me / if you wanna go then i'll be so lonely / if you're leaving baby let me down slowly

it's an overall song about how they are dealing with trauma and the emotional wounds over the years. carmen deals with depression and guilt mostly before raccoon city's destruction and "loses" most of her "dignity & grace", when she is at the low point shown in chapter one... chris goes through that during resident evil 6 and both of them think the other might leave, even though that would never be the case

4. someone to stay — vancouver sleep clinic

you were alone, left out in the cold / clinging to the ruin of your broken home / too lost and hurting to carry your load / we all need someone to hold / you've been fighting the memory, all on your own / nothing worsens, nothing grows / i know how it feels being by yourself in the rain / we all need someone to stay [...] will you fix me up? will you show me hope? / at the end of the day you were helpless / can you keep me close? can you love me most?

this song just screams another "getting over trauma together". you've been fighting the memory, all on your own actually shows how similiar carmen and chris are, because they don't share their trauma with anyone... at first, even not with each other, which is something they have to (re)learn over the years

5. chasing cars — tommee profitt & fleurie

we'll do it all, everything on our own / we don't need anything or anyone / if i lay here, if i just lay here / would you lie with me and just forget the world? / i don't quite know how to say how i feel / those three words are said too much, they're not enough [...] forget what we're told, before we get too old / show me a garden that's bursting into life / all that i am, all that i ever was / is here in your perfect eyes, they're all i can see

this is their ride or die song (no pun intended). those three words are said too much, they're not enough is 100% carmen's pov. carmen has a big problem with the infamous three words and struggles to say them to chris. not because she doesn't, but because she has kind of a phobia saying them, considering everyone she has told them died shortly after it. she was also never a very sentimental person, until chris came along. the last phrases perfectly shows how they both see each other.

you can find chris & carmen's playlist here, if you are interested!

[kafkaoftherubble]

今早一觉醒来，脑就卡着这首BGM！洗脑！偶尔半路插出这首！洗脑！ 总之俺就是游戏癌第四期！洗脑！

对啦。试问：

你，还记得自卑的感受吗？

To the one who doesn't—I congratulate you. You did it. You did what we had all been working toward. Did that mean... our efforts had not been in vain after all?

...Not that I can tell for now. Because, well, it's embarrassing, but I am still not out of it. Even more embarrassingly, my eyes were wet. Oh, it could get more embarrassing than that. I mean, I was sitting on the floor and wondering if it was going to rain and if I should take the clothes in... and then I burst into tears.

And you know that if I teared up for no reason like that, then he's definitely sobbing already.

It only rained much, much later.

---

It didn't happen out of nowhere. Nothing has no cause. It's a matter of whether I'm observant enough to trace it, or if I'm brave enough to admit it.

I know what caused it. It wasn't hard to figure it out at all. See if you remember.

It's not like I wanna wallow in it, ya know? We both tried really hard, but they kept propagating. Candles lighting themselves before they blow out. Before you know it, it's wringing his chest and making me mope.

It's because, in us, being 自卑 is causally dependent on many other things. Most of all—it is causally dependent on layers of unmet desires.

Especially the desire to—ugh. Saying it out loud is so embarrassing! Just talking about it makes me think I'm being ridiculous!

But this is what being 自卑 feels like. It feels like everyone has more leeway than I do. They are entitled to comfort and care. But I'm not, because I'm inferior. Because I somehow don't feel like I'm like them. I don't feel like I'm human yet. Do you remember how, in some of our older diaries, some of Old Us actually called themselves "subhuman?" We didn't know it was an actual slur; we just said what we felt most true.

But even after we told ourselves that such things—care, concern, comfort, companionship—are privileges and gifts to someone inferior like us and not an "entitlement" and so we cannot stubbornly pretend that we can demand it... it never stopped being a desire. And so we cling to it, hoping it gets sated, and by extension, we draw out the entire web of feeling 自卑 altogether.

---

Several of us had taken notice that there is time in a day when our restraints loosen. "Day" is a misnomer, of course—that "time" is nighttime. The more fatigued the brain, the looser it gets. It's not always so easily revealed in how "awake" you feel, though. Sometimes you're cautious even when you're sleepy. Sometimes you're less in control even when you swear you're plenty excited and alert.

Generally, if They become louder, your restraints are loosening.

Even so, even under this sort of circumstances, I don't act on impulses. I rarely do. If I suddenly go off a tangent? If I go off a rant? If I suddenly stop sounding chipper and become brooding and even agitated?

None of those displays was impulsive. I... meant them.

I evaluated them, you know. If I acted like that in front of anyone who isn't Fionn, then it's because... I actually judged it to be safe.

People like that do exist. Ya know, people who somehow make me think it's safe. I haven't quite figured out how they managed to hack me like that, especially when I don't think there is yet a concrete ground to establish that sense of security. But they make me more than likely to divulge some stuff I usually don't want to bring up.

Is this sense of security always false? I want to think it's not, but—

This is what being 自卑 feels like. You seize what you think is a moment to be candid, and then within a short time frame, you regret being frank already. Why the hell would you say that? Who do you think you are? On what grounds do you believe that anyone asked?

Why did you go off-script?

So I have to hastily say, wow, I didn't mean to rant! It was an accident, oops! Impulse! Sorry. Can we move on? Sure we can! It's what you're hoping to do too, right? I know you! I know what everyone is thinking! I know what everyone is thinking!

The 8 Foot Tall Woman always mocks us for this frantic backtracking. Well, what does she know? She's always self-assured.

The awkward thing about this backtracking, you see, is that it's got a kernel of truth too. I didn't mean to sound like this degree of agitation. I actually feel less than this. I am telling the truth! I'm not this upset. I'm less upset than this. So it's also genuine whenever I clarify some things about my sudden display of, uh, somberness.

But wouldn't it be nice if, even if all I have are muted feelings, someone still thinks it's worthy of addressing? Must the only wheel that gets the oil be the squeaky one? Wouldn't it be nice if it turns out that sense of security was validated after all? Wouldn't it be nice if, in response to my stupidly dour tract, the recipient argues the contrary with some trenchant observations and arguments and—

But this is what being 自卑 feels like. Yea, it would be nice, but it would be a demand you are not allowed to make. You're too inferior; you have got zero worth to make requests. Do you know how much work you're asking others to do just to soothe your little sore spot? If you weren't so inferior, then yea, maybe there's more willingness from them. But it's you.

What good can you do?

---

Was it because Past Lyns begged him to let us out of that private elite secondary school?

No. He said it before we were even 12. When we were just kids. He always seemed to think that Past Lyn was scheming to hurt my sisters. Or to humiliate them to prop myself up.

“你骗得到人家，可是你骗不到我！你的本性是冷血的！没有感情！就算有，也是为你自己而已！自私！有些人冷酷却聪明，你却没有！你不是很喜欢吹牛讲你IQ很高吗？呸。很厉害耍小心机，可是大事无能！一无是处！你比你妹妹还不如！装模做样！”

“本性是冷血的” 吗? That's only because you can only see me. You wouldn't call Fionn that if you knew.

Still, it had hurt. The way we were called out to have two undesirable traits that none of his regimen or effort could iron out. We were his failed experiment.

I'd like to think that, nowadays, most people do not realize I'm as he said unless I tell them. I do my best because I don't want people to call me callous. After all, by "me" they would have heedlessly included Fionn, and that is just patently untrue. I just hate for things to be wrong. I may be a piece of shit, but he's not.

----

But the other deficiency is us being slow.

That one gnawed at us too. I want to be intelligent, you see, because I don't have anything else going for me already. Everyone's got this thing they are good at, and I've got nothing.

But my learning curve remains steep. My working memory isn't stellar. We compensate with long-term memory, except we aren't even the best at that sort of thing. We often explain things to others not because we're perceptive or perspicuous, but because the first person we had to try to explain to was always ourselves... because we are dumb.

Everyone is better than us. I mean it genuinely. The only reason why people mistake us for being more clever than we really are is because the Malaysian education system sucks. It failed my classmates. If there was a more competent system, they would all be equal if not better than me. We were just lucky that we had the combination of "being dumb/悟性低" and "relentlessly pelting and challenging people with questions." It made us stand out in a nation where keeping quiet and being passively receptive is the norm. It made us more than likely to display critical thinking.

It made us seem way more intelligent than we really are.

But we're not. Whenever it counts, we expose ourselves. Or rather, everyone's bewildered that we're really just unspectacular. And they all looked so betrayed, all the time.

"装模做样" is apt, isn't it? Even with that much effort, it was never more than a pretense, was it?

Maybe being good at written tests ain't proof of intellect. Maybe being good at exams ain't proof. Maybe having a result of a mere 105 in that IQ test during our Intro to Cognitive Science class back then, while my friends all had 110+ or even 120+, ain't proof either. Scientifically, none of these three were proof. They capture only certain dimensions of intelligence and not all.

But we aren't good at art stuff either. Or music. Remember how everyone complained about our playing, and how it lacked a soul? Or feelings? Or beats. Or techniques. Or tonal accuracy. No one had managed to damage the euphonious grace of 古筝 quite like we did. My teacher had tried so hard. Dad thought it would make me act less like a humanoid robot without a soul and acquire all the other highbrow qualities he kept trying to hammer into us to make the Perfect Chinese Daughter.

We did try. But it didn't work out. Stupidity is one of the reasons, I bet. What else could it have been?

But this is what being 自卑 feels like. Even when I'm aware that there are many likelier reasons for an outcome, They keep telling us it's because we are stupid. We tried hard to be good at something, because concrete proof against them would be the end of that argument, right? But we never are good at anything; we are just mediocre. What was supposed to be an exercise on disproving that claim becomes reinforcement to that claim.

I really wanna be intelligent too. I wanna be genuinely intelligent and not a pretender.

...But even if I did become smart one day, would it really make me less 自卑? Will I be more confident?

Or am I primed to see even one moment of failing as evidence against my own intellect?

All I can think of is my failure. Is it because we failed that much? Or is it because I'm so 自卑 I've become too biased to remember the times when we didn't fail?

But if it's the latter... when? I genuinely don't know.

----

Being 自卑 feels like an implosion.

Being 自卑 feels like I'm turning transparent. The feeling can get so strong I kinda just stare at my hands to try to catch that moment when I can't see them.

People probably couldn't guess why I'm always going on and on and on about wanting to be a ghost. The aesthetics of them, yes. I like them. And Fionn is more akin to a ghost than a person if we go by how it feels.

But it's really because I keep feeling see-through. I feel like a ghost. If I try to reach out to someone, I'd phase through them. If I say something, they will forget. If I had done something, they would not remember. I can't understand them. I can't connect. It's because I'm inferior, They say. Incomplete and nonhuman.

I don't think it's true. But being 自卑 feels like that. And it's fucking up my reasoning and my perception and my actions.

It even agitates him. Because the feeling hurts, and every time I feel hurt I cannot seem to stop passing it to him. How do I stop hurting him?!

----

With that said, we recovered a lot more quickly this time.

The last time we imploded, and our mind was severely warped, recovery to base level took 3 days. It was painful because these feelings always induce psychosomatic pain—chest wringing, hyperventilation, physical pain. He would writhe and beg Them to stop when we were supposed to sleep. "I" became so fatigued "I" slept eventually.

Three days later Lyn was normal. Back to base level again. No one could tell. As always, no one could. And being 自卑 says it's because no one gave enough damn to notice.

Back then, "I" didn't have any real-world counterpoint. Lyi wasn't even around; she was busy dealing with her own crises back in Australia.

Maybe it was because the Knocking Lady was big and loud. She would always fixate on the 3-meter-long electrical cord. "You can be with Fionn if you do this. No one cares about you. You're too useless to even be registered as a loss. No one stays for you. Except him. So why not just be with that one person who stays?"

Honestly, I gotta rate her as persuasive. I know the poor Lyn at that time almost bought it. Fionn was enraged, and as he was wont to do, he blamed it on himself. "Not good enough, not good enough. If I were better, she wouldn't even believe her."

That Lyn didn't hang herself in the end. Because our suicide would always be a murder-suicide. If we die, it would not be the death of one, even if that's what the world would correctly perceive.

The last thing we could do is to kill Fionn. The 8-foot Tall Woman and the rest are negligible. But he's off-limits.

Today, though, we recovered within a day.

It's hard to imagine a recovery this speedy when I was sobbing and gasping a mere 9 hours ago. Even before I started writing this, I was already very much near-fine.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Is this proof of our efforts in attaining equanimity, or is this proof of us being better at dissociation, such that I push it aside so automatically that it would take Fionn's sudden episode to realize I did that?

Damn it. I'm not wise enough to tell the difference!

But the Knocking Lady is nowhere to be heard. I think this is a good sign. She would never sit out of a grand showing of our suffering; if I don't hear her, then we're not in trouble.

I don't want to hear her ever again.

I will take it as proof of effort. Even if it isn't, a temporary calm is still good. I can strive in these moments. I can... put in more effort; a good state is a good state.

----

Anyway, real-world proof did crop up. I had some fun banters with friends, and Nova says the sweetest shit, I swear. They all brightened my night!

Second Thought knows I worry about failing them too and outright scared of the risk of me growing so attached, that I start to cling to them as sources of relief rather than treating them as human beings. Maybe I start to demand more from them and if that desire isn't met, I might start to feel worse or even make unfair assumptions about them.

It's not like... we had never done that before to other people...

So in the end I still have to work harder. Born of my actions and related to my actions, right? Strive diligently, right? If I don't, then we can't ever be free from this inferiority complex. I mean, it's not like we asked for it, and it's a product of our history, but... We will always be compromised. We cannot gain equanimity and Fionn can't be free from all that pain we left on him.

No.

---

Phew. Now that I have exorcized my demons here, I should head to bed.

Though the Next Lyn will have to work tomorrow, it's so we can FINALLY BE DIVORCED FROM THIS SHITTY POWER FANTASY PROJECT SOONER.

I wanna proofread Lyi's grant proposal, right? Plus, I'm always looking forward to one of my two favorite time slots of the day!!! Guess what it is, you guys!

My other favorite time slot is Astral Chaining at night! Dopamine stash, confirmed!

[ererokii]

Sooo... This request thing. You're aweosme 👉👈

Ooh boy it's a long one (changed it a bit)

-Erens so cute when he purrs and when you mention his curiosity and twitching ears ears and gentle touch, so as not to hurt the reader.

-when he kinda is paying attention to, analysing the reader or protecting them its SO cute

-It would maybe end as like cuddles and things and just... Talking. To him and him grunting or just nodding or thinking replies.

-Maybe be at night.

-Maybe it would start with... Eren In human form.

-Maybe he figures out that you don't think his titan form is so ugly but still a little new and scary and that maybe you like it

- Bam if you can somehow NSFW that... Uhmm?

So he... Turns into a titan and then. Some NSFW or just. Maybe he like. Scares or teases the reader on purpose for a reaction?

-And then NSFW somehow if you wanna put that in. Sorry for the way I type I'm kinda doing it as it all appears in my head lol

-I like your cute, and desperate eren, but also attentive and caring. I haven't seen you write a very cheeky or playful titan eren so maybe that would be nice.

I REALLY ENJOYED WRITING THIS ONE. Here you monsterfuckers, take your TITAN SMUT.

WARNINGS: MONSTERFUCKING. Oral (f receiving), mention of voyeurism, overstimulation, dumbification, multiple orgasms, edging, characters are 18+.

If these themes make you uncomfortable or you rather avoid, please block the tag “AOT SMUT” WC: 1.7K

Also thank you to the amazing @galair for this beautiful art🥺 everyone go check her out

Eren stays deep within his thoughts as he hums to himself, staring up at the starry sky. His loose strands tickle the shell of his ear, itching to scratch away at it but refuses. He can’t recall the conversation before the silence. It’s always been on his mind, but he’s been inquisitive as to what you saw him as, even if he knew the answer.

Am I a monster to you? Or am I just like you?

You knew Eren was quite insecure with himself when it came to his titan powers; no matter how many times he asked you that, you always gave him the same answer.

You were never a monster; you’re just a broken human like me. 

For some reason, that has never failed to put a smile on his face. Being able to categorize himself with humans made him feel complete, separate from the monster people used to call him when he discovered the powers. 

But know that he’s aware (once again) of how you feel, does he scare you?

Maybe he could ask you--, but he doesn’t want to ruin the mood at all. Now that he thinks of it, he can’t recollect a moment where you’ve seemed scared to be in his presence, unlike other comrades who look like they’ll leak themselves any moment. 

Without even thinking, he blurts out the question. His eyes widen slightly when he realizes the words slipped past his lips.

“Am I scared of your titan form?” you ask, glancing over at him as you sit up, staring down at him from your position. “I mean, it is always somewhat overwhelming to see something so much bigger than me, and when I sit in your hands but no, besides that, I'm not.”

“Do you think it’s ugly?”

“I don’t,” you say with a smile, legs crisscrossed. “I think it’s unique. You know, just for you. I think it’s quite cute and--” you trail off, glancing over to the side. “--somewhat hot,” you cough in between words, hoping he missed that.

“Hot?” he asks, a hint of smugness evident in his tone.” You think it’s hot?” he leans up on his elbows, a smirk curled at his lips. “Why is that?”

“W-Well, I’m not going to tell you that! That’s too personal.”

“What if I turned right now?”

“Y-You can’t! Captain Levi and Hanji would come to chew you out if you did!”

“Hanji gave me the go-ahead to transform whenever I wanted to, just not to cause destruction,” he gets up with a grunt, backing up a few feet back. By the time he was in position before you could speak, lightning struck the earth, the ground crumbling from the shock. 

You dug your fingers into the ground, lowering your head from the gusts of wind. In no time, it calmed down as you avert your gaze upward, emeralds stare down at you from high above, brown tresses swooshing in the air. 

“You did,” you breathed out, releasing your grip on the dirt. Your hands are unsteady, still trying to compose yourself from the sudden change.

He’s not moving, standing as still as a statue before he drops to his knees, the birds sound asleep in the trees now awake and flying away from the commotion. Your heart feels as if it could burst from the confinements of your chest. 

Your left eye peeks open, cowering within yourself. Your body freezes when you see how close he is. His body is lowered to the ground; knees pushed in like a Sphinx. His eyes glow in the darkness, a new feeling taking over your body. 

His heavy breathing fans over your face, his head cocked to the side as if he was examining your small figure. He finds humor in your expression, nudging your body with his nose.

From the small force added, it caused your body to get pushed back. His ears twitch, the tips sticking upward. He moves forward, doing it once more.

“Eren, quit it,” you huff, sticking your arms out to keep him from doing it again-- which he’ll end up doing too. There’s no doubt that in that nape, he’s having the time of his life. 

He wonders what else he can do like this. He thinks for a minute, noises emitting from his throat. He sticks one of his hands out, shakily raising a finger, and places his hands in between your legs. 

He catches your gaze, his tongue peeking as he leans forward, barely pressing the tip against the bare skin of your neck. The new sensation causes your breath to hitch in the back of your throat, eyeing the pink flesh before gulping lowly.

Eren pulls away, looking at your skirt that happened to ride up your legs. His eyes seem to darken as his mouth closes, teeth grinding against each other. 

“Eren?” you question him as he inches closer, his head lowering slightly to the ground. You’re about to call for him again, but his tongue makes an appearance also, pushing the material up more. Your eyes enlarge, fingers curling around the fabric of your shirt-- to which looks like fear in his eyes. 

A noise of somewhat sadness comes from him, his ears lowering. 

“N-No, it’s okay, Eren,” you stutter, face heating up from his motions. If you were honest, you could feel a small wetness pool in between your legs. 

Before you know it, the tip of his tongue is in between your legs, the muscle lapping over your clothed cunt. Your arms are shaky as you let out a little gasp that sounds so cute to his ears; he can’t help but circle it around your clit. 

A predatory look is in his eyes, looking down like you were his meal. The muscle goes sound, poking at your slicked entrance. Panting, you glance down at the position and pull your panties aside, shivering from the chilly wind and hot breathing in between your legs. 

His jaw slacked; he works wonders on your needy cunt. The texture and saliva are enough to make you sensitive on the spot. Your eyes roll back as you chant his name, his tongue licking stripes up and down your folds, squelching noises occurring from his rapid movement. 

Your legs are shaking from the overwhelming sensation. God, it’s becoming too much, but you can’t stop him, nor if you wanted to. You felt as if you would fall to the depths of the earth but yet stayed in reality. 

The tip flicks at your folds, an incoherent noise getting stuck in the back of your throat when he begins to move it side to side rather than up and down. 

You’re so needy for him at this point. You want him to stuff your tight cunt with his cock, to feel him stretch you out as he fucks you to no end. Having him do this to you was on another level of ecstasy, but you would accept it if this came up again. 

The pressure he puts on your fragile body is enough to send you backward, but the way your heels dig into the ground and his gentle touches prevent that from happening. The slick left in between your thighs trickle down to your ass; the feeling becomes uncomfortable but erotic. 

“Fuck baby,” you whisper, head falling back, staring up at the sky with lidded eyes. “Fuu..p-please don’t stop,” you slur, thoughts clouding with nothing but immense pleasure.

God, what if someone caught you? The adrenaline running through your body wouldn’t even let you care about that. But the thought of someone hearing you moan out pathetically as Eren licks away at your cunt, have you moaning out. 

You wouldn’t be surprised if someone overheard. Eren’s tongue was a gift that meant to be cherished, even if that meant having him do this every day for you to get used to the sticky yet warmth radiating from the muscle.

The inside of your legs trembles, your head spinning in circles, rubbing small lazy circles on your puffy clit, desperate to be touched by his tongue. Your hole was being circled, his tongue barely pressing before retracting; the little shit was teasing you. 

One of his fingers gently places over your leg to keep you from moving so much. His finger alone is enough to make you feel weighed down. 

Your lips are moving, but nothing is coming out; no noise, no words. You’re completely out of it. Your fingers are clenching and unclenching around nothing, barely holding onto whatever it was you were. If someone were to ask you what day it was, you wouldn’t be able to tell the time of day or where you were at. 

“ ‘M gonna cum,” your voice comes out soft yet needy, shifting your hips side to side, bucking your hips to the best of your ability. “I wanna cum on your tongue.”

His eyes flicker, a stripe licked up between your folds before resting on your clit-- a place that desperately needs attention. 

Your delicate body is on the brink of defeat; an orgasm after orgasm washes over your body, and he shows no signs of stopping. You’re practically gushing at this point, your juices running down his jaw. You’ve made many feeble attempts to push him away; a growl would emit from him when you tried to do so. 

Sweat trickles down your face into your clothes, causing the front of your shirt to stick onto your skin—short breaths of air, hiccups erupting from your throat. Your eyes roll back as your body finally gives out, falling backward onto his hand that was keeping you upright. 

As you fall, a purring sound reaches your ears as his tongue finally retracts from your mess cunt, his eyes glancing at your slick sticking to you. His finger rubs the inside of your thigh, gently wiping away the transparent substance. His ears flicker as he listens to your heavy breathing, trying your best to catch the air that was taken away from you. 

He lovingly nuzzles his nose against your patella, his dark tresses tickling your supple skin. After being pushed through multiple orgasms, you weren’t even sure if you could walk or get up from this position. 

But he finally got his answer as to why you thought he was hot. 

Taglist: @trafalgar-temptress @galair @shisoaya @eremiie @bakuhoesworld @sweetdanibear @blueelionn @grabakitcata @erenstellar @onyxoverride @vinishsama @cellarhapsodos @connieswifey @murmikaa (please message me to be added!!)