#i don't want to bum y'all out for too long lol.

[viksalos]

you guys like the battle jacket story huh. what you have to imagine here is that i was effectively stirring a boiling cauldron (/large plastic bucket) of black dye and the ashes of that letter, listening to this woman wail “HIDE YOUR HUSBANDS” (while my husband looks on in bemusement), giggling at the piano slams. like i *was* blindingly angry at the time but it was also *so* on the nose and over-the-top that i couldn’t also not laugh at myself for being ridiculous. but it felt like the thing to be doing at that moment, and again 1 thing about me is that i Commit To The Bit. (nobody knows what bit i’m committing to but i’m committing to it.) goes to show that even when you’re processing a bunch of painful stuff you can still find humor and joy if you get kinda weird with it. or something

(completely unrelated but my lemaine flesh corset just got here. might drench myself in stage blood and do a photoshoot about it, as one does with such an item. yknow for the drama or whatever)

[thewriterwhowritesnot]

To Have and To Hold

Warnings: Yandere!Aliucard, SMUT, creampie (wrap it before you tap it my dudes this is FICTION! Kids cost money), slight degradation, a little bit of fluff. A/N: Yall, please don't judge me. I had a hell of a rough time writing this out because I had to take a break every three minutes to BREATHE lol. I hope the smut is okay. I'm not ready to be that explicit just yet. I hope y'all like this. This is another 2k words and is not proofread. If you want to be in the taglist just lmk! Summary: You travel to Dracula's Castle to help the owner get the place registered as a historical landmark and enter into an overwhelming relationship with Alucard.

Masterlist Chap 1.

Chapter Two

 The next morning you awake to an old chest half your size in the middle of your room. On top of it, there’s a note.         “ I was informed this morning that your bag was lost in transit and they’re unable to locate it. I took the liberty of getting you some clothes to wear while you’re here. I hope they fit you and if they don’t we can make adjustments. 

A. “

A bit bummed at the loss of your clothes, you open the chest and immediately forget about what small things you packed in your bag. The first piece of clothing was a soft pink sundress with white flowers on it. The Queen Anne neckline was lined with white lace and you loved it instantly. Setting it aside to wear it for the day. There were multiple sets of silk pajamas. Pretty nightgowns and fluffy slippers and beautiful shoes (that were all your size). You giggled like a child in the long mirror against the wall, swaying this way and that. 

Granted, in your job description you wore clothes that kept your skin safe from poisonous spiders, cobwebs, and splinters. But the knowledge that Adrian had picked these out to lend you made butterflies spring to life in your belly and you couldn’t resist thinking of what he’d think of you in them. 

Deciding to bathe before you start your day, you enter the bathroom and examine the large tub and new shower head. The place was spotless and smelled of lemon. You turned on the faucet and allowed the hot water of the shower to steam up the room before getting in. Being too tired to shower the night before you basked in the warmth of the hot water washing the days of travel off your skin. 

However, your peace was short-lived because a rush of cold air cut across your skin beckoning a wave of gooseflesh. There were no vents or holes near the shower so you shut the water off and peered out of the shower curtain. The bathroom door was open and you struggled to remember if you’d closed it or not. Surely, you would’ve closed it to keep the heat in, right? 

         Stepping out of the shower you wrap yourself in a towel and enter the room to find nothing amiss. 

Strange. 

You searched the chest for the round container of lotion you’d spotted when you were rummaging through it earlier. After getting dressed, you leave your room, notepad in hand, and find your way to the kitchen. 

Marguerite is there and quickly introduces herself and offers you a full breakfast. Shamefully, you find yourself very pleased with the fact that she’s an older woman. Much too old to be romantically involved with your host. Her grey hair is pulled back into one bun, pulled away from her round face which is free of wrinkles. Her eyes are almost catlike which would appear almost frightening if not for their warm disposition and the childish curve of her features. She looks incredibly young and old at the same time. You watch as she pours you both a cup of tea and puts exactly four sugars into your tea. 

“How is your room?” Her voice is warm much like her eyes. Hoping she hadn’t noticed your staring, you mix your oatmeal in an innocuous figure eight. “It’s lovely. Everything is perfect and the bed is quite comfortable.” 

Marguerite hums with approval. “Wonderful. I put everything to right myself. The little prince would have nothing less.” Baffled, you turn to face her. 

“Little prince?” 

Marguerite’s warm eyes all but twinkle in the morning light. She sips her tea once before getting to her feet. “I’ve got some small tasks to finish before the morning ends. Once you’re done eating, you may leave your dishes in the sink. I’ll tend to them.” She doesn’t wait for your answer before she leaves, cup in hand.

Curious but too excited to think about it for too long you hastily finish your breakfast. Now, you have a system. Always begin at the first room you entered when you’re exploring a new place. It’s crucial to start in a familiar place so that each new discovery is easier to document and keep track of. Following this system leads you to head to the foyer. The room looked much the same as it had when you’d first arrived except for the streams of light that were pouring in from all directions. You’d missed the windows behind the humongous curtains that covered them the night before. Some of the windows were stained glass and you took a moment to examine them.

Each picture showed a man with dark hair in battle, covered in the blood of his enemies, and returning to the gothic castle you now stood in. 

“A bit grotesque, is it not?”         You jump and whirl around to find Adrian standing behind you much as he had the first time you met. “Have mercy! You’ve got to stop doing that!” His eyebrows draw together as he laughs lightly. Today his hair is in a messy braid down his back. The button-down white shirt he wears is tucked into the sleek black pants that sway over his sandy brown boots. “My apologies, my dear. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” His eyes travel from your face down your body and back up again causing those butterflies to flutter up to your heart. Fingers knotted in the dress you wore, your eyes scanned the room nervously. “Thank you for the clothes and the other things. They’re beautiful.” 

“I’m glad you like them. Does everything fit well?”         “Scarily well,” you joke. “I would’ve thought these clothes had been made for me with how perfectly they fit.” His jaw tensed slightly. Confused once again, you opt to examine the stained glass. You hear him inhale slowly.

“I’m told there’s a book in the library that describes the stories in these windows. Would you like to help me search for it?” 

The doors of the library are large. Just as large as the front doors. He pushes them open with ease and leads you into a room full of one of the largest collections of books you’ve ever seen. There are books on every surface. Lining the walls and stacked spaces all over the tables and desks. It was overwhelmingly massive and you took it all in wonder.         “The place is a mess and I haven’t hired anyone to help me organize it all just yet. It’s such a large collection.” 

“Can I help?” The words come out louder than you expect and you can’t see the smile on his lips as he pulls open the heavy curtains of the room. “If it’s not too much for you. I know you’ve only come here to stay a week. Are you sure you’ve got enough time for this?” 

Already eyeing a ruby-red book covered in dust, you nod vigorously. “I’ve got plenty of time. I’m the youngest historian of my group and I’m pretty sure my boss let me go on this trip because he figured it would keep me busy and out of the way of their more important jobs. Jokes on them though, this place is immaculate! I could write a million books about the architecture alone.” You glance over to see him leaning against a table watching you intently. “That is..if you would consent to that.” 

He sits motionless for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t see why not.” Grinning, you begin sorting through the books nearest to you. Several of them are in languages you’ve never seen and you examine them thoroughly. Organizing this library would not be easy but you were reluctant to think about giving yourself a time limit anyway. Judging by the size of this room alone, there was no way you’d be able to sort through it in a month let alone a week. The next three days, you focused on your task while pondering the idea of staying a little longer. 

During this time, you and Adrian had entered a rhythm. You’d wake up in the morning, he’d meet you in the kitchen and you walk together to the library. You’d spent hours in there reading over ancient stories of witches and vampires. All of them fill you with delight. 

You had become accustomed to Adrian being near you throughout this time. Relishing every moment, his skin brushed yours or he leaned over you to read whatever book you wanted to show him. It was on a late night almost identical to the others that Adrian had left without a word and reappeared with a tray with two cups and hot chocolate. 

“You didn’t have to bring me anything.” You replied after many thanks. He shook his pretty head. “Nonsense. After all you’ve done to help me, I won’t hesitate to do whatever I can for you.” He set a smoking cup in front of you before sliding into the chair closest to yours and sipping from his own cup. You watched him as he took a drink and you absentmindedly did the same. The scalding hot liquid bit at the skin of your bottom lip and tongue. You yelped. 

“Shit!” Adrian grasped your chin in one hand and sat your hot mug to the side.

“It’s smoking hot, Y/N. You can’t just inhale it that way.” He all but whispered as his callused thumb gently rubbed your bottom lip. 

“You did.” You mumble. His frown deepened and you watched his face as you impulsively let your tongue slide over the tip of his thumb. His breath caught in his throat. Less than a second later, he slid his thumb into your mouth and you wrapped your lips around it without a second thought. His pupils dilated as he tilted his head, lips parted. You tasted the cocoa on his skin and sighed breathily. 

Quickly, he moved his hand from your chin and pressed his lips to yours. Tilting your head, you leaned into him as he pulled you to his chest and slid his hands down your throat and shoulders. Past your arms and around your waist. Your arms find their way around his neck as you let him slide his tongue between your lips. The sound of your heartbeat and the noises you couldn’t help but make filled your ears. 

Just when you think you might have to lean back for air he breaks the kiss and presses his lips all over your face. Without a word, he lifts you by your waist and you wrap your legs around him quickly. He kisses you again, rougher this time. You don’t know how and nor do you care but soon your back is against the soft cushion of your bed and Adrian is leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and over your collarbones. 

After a moment, he rises and looks into your eyes. You can tell he’s searching for something but is unsure how to ask. The apprehension and obvious vulnerability tug on your heart and you place your hands on either side of his face. You nod, not waiting for him to ask. “Please.” You whisper. He closes his eyes and kisses you again before leaning back on his knees and pulling his shirt above his head from the hem up. You gasp when you see the long scar across his chest. It’s faded greatly, but the outline is still there and you sit up a little to drag your fingers across it. “What happened?” 

He looks to the right. “It was a long time ago.” He said nothing else and you didn’t press him. Gingerly, you pressed your lips to his chest and he shuttered against your lips. Like he’d never been touched there before. In a rush, he slid his hand through your hair held the back of your skull, and kissed you deeply. It was easier for him to undress and explore you without fear now. Eyes on yours, he pulled your panties from around your hips and slid them off. You giggled as he slid his cool fingertips between your knees and slowly spread them. 

You held your breath as his eyes roamed over your body. “So pretty.” He breathed and you whimpered as his hands slid down your thighs and over your pelvic bone. He kissed the bare skin of your shoulder, your knuckles, your thigh, your ankle. He inhaled your scent and you sighed with each touch. His fingertips found their way to the apex of your thighs and slid between your glistening lips. A shuttered moan falls from your lips and he chuckles. He kisses your temple while rubbing slow circles around your clit. 

Your eyes are squeezed shut as you teeter closer and closer to your orgasm. Without warning, he speeds up the movement, sucking the skin of your neck between his teeth sending shivers down your spine as your hips move against his hand of their own accord. In a burst of feeling you tip over the edge. A sharp shriek escapes your lips and it feels like forever before the shocks of pleasure end. As soon as it stops, you huff impatiently. It certainly wasn’t enough to make the heat of your skin cool down and the way he continued to caress your skin was only making it worse. 

He slid between your thighs and lined himself up with your entrance. “Are you ready?” He whispered in your ears. “Yes.” You reply quickly and he laughs at your eagerness. Then he gently presses the head of his cock into you. Both of you moan in unison. The air in the room thickens as he graciously waits for you to adjust to the intrusion. Slowly he edges himself all the way inside of you to the hilt and you fight to breathe. You had guessed he could fill you up but you hadn’t imagined it would feel like this. Your legs were still vibrating with the aftershocks of your first orgasm and you kiss his shoulder before telling him you’re ready for him to move. And that he does. 

Forehead to yours, he pulls his hips away from yours, leaving just the tip inside you before surging forward. The wind is knocked out of you and you squeeze your eyes shut as sounds you’ve never made before push out of your belly and mingle with his own. You lose yourself in the pressure and the rhythm as his hands bring your wrists together above your head. He holds them there with one hand and uses the other to pull your right thigh up higher on his hips. This allows him to reach deeper inside you and your back arches. 

Breath uneven, you raise your hips to meet his thrusts as your second orgasm oh so slowly gets closer and closer. Unable to see and barely able to hear, you beg him. “P-please. Please. Please.” You chant like a sinner praying for salvation. He presses his lips to your ear. 

“Please what?” 

You whimper. 

“Use your words.” He laughs against your skin as he leaves little bite indents on your forearms. The sound of your wetness echoes throughout the room, egging you on in the most obscene manner. All but screaming, you beg him to let you come. He murmurs “Good girl” in your ear and releases your wrists. He brings both of your knees up even higher and your hands grip his biceps as he plows into you. Almost instantly, your body tightens. Your eyes roll as your orgasm finally hits you, causing every part of your body to shake. This time you scream as he presses his hips into yours a few more times before stilling inside you. You watch as he closes his eyes and your name falls from his lips as he comes inside of you. 

Adrian lets your legs slip from his grip and lays down on you. The room is quiet save from the sound of your breathing. You can feel his heart beating against yours and you wrap your arms around him. Hand in his hair, you press your lips to his temple much like he’d done yours and he sighs into you. A smile dances across your lips as you hold him to you. 

“You’re so perfect.” He whispers. “I was going to say the same thing about you.” You reply. He exhales heavily and places a kiss on the inside of your elbow before getting up and entering your bathroom. You hear the faucet water turn on as he hums a song you’ve never heard before. He returns a moment later with a warm cloth and wipes your skin so gently that you feel your heart swell inside your chest. He continues to hum and the sound of his voice lulls you into a dreamless sleep.

Taglist: @hoppershoe. @c-crow-chatters

[slutforstabbings-archive]

Update on ALL of my WIPs (god there are so many, sos) ~

Clean Again (Corey Cunningham x Reader) I think I need to accept that I'm just not made for weekly chapter updates lol because Chapter 14 is not ready for tonight. I've actually been having a really good time writing it the past few weeks, I'm getting into the part of the story I've been dying to write the whole time and I'm really energized. But weekly updates when I don't have a bunch of chapters already totally finished is too much for me. I like to let my writing sit for a while and then come back and edit it again, and I just don't have enough time with weekly updates to do that. I feel like the last few chapters of Clean Again read more like my one shots which I usually write really quickly and edit a lot less, and I would just rather my multi-chapter works be more polished. And my one shots are taking a lot longer and my other multi-chapters are suffering because I only have time for Clean Again, which bums me out because even when I'm super stoked about it, I like taking little detours to my other stories too. Anyway, I'm not going to give this hiatus an official length, I'm just going to see where I am in a while. I don't want to come back too soon because I'd like to not have any more breaks.

Number 5 with a Bullet (Eddie Munson x unnamed reader-ish OC) I have so much work done for this, several more entries that are done or almost done, a couple of drawings that are almost done, pretty much a full outline... I just haven't been able to get any of it all the way finished yet. My goal was to publish the diary entries kind of contemporary to when they would be written, but it's almost August and I still have June I haven't posted so oops. But it's coming!

Untitled Eddie x Reader It's 1985, it's your first senior year and Eddie's second. You've admired him from afar for a while but you've avoided interacting with him until you find out you have something kind of surprising in common. Fluff, angst, smut, currently 4k words and about halfway done.

Untitled Corey x Reader x Allyson Nelson request from @rebel-blue, for a Reader who meets Corey and Allyson through college somehow, and a Corey-centric threesome with vibes similar to Sandwiched. Currently outlined and 1k words but I feel it being a long one in my bones lol

Untitled Corey x Reader request from @ethanhoewke for more subby Corey. Still at the twinkle in my eye phase lol but that could change at any moment.

Untitled Corey x Reader x Eddie in FEBRUARY @hall0ween-twn sent me an ask and all it said was "think about a Corey x Eddie threesome." Well I thought about it and thought about it and I keep thinking about it. I've written basically nothing for this so far like, in real words, but I have written a LOT of it in my head and I'm still just trying to figure out how to structure it because I have accidentally developed so much lore and so many feelings about Corey and Eddie before they even meet Reader and... yeah. Maybe I'll just write the whole thing and drop 100k completed on y'all when you least expect it.

@heartrot666 @wolvesandvampires @hersweetrevenge @cordelium @toxicanonymity @persephone-of-roleplay as always, dm me or reply to this post if you want to be added to my taglist, whether that be for a specific story, specific character or for everything <3

[saeyoungchoismaid]

ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

ꜰᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ: ꜱᴛᴀʀᴅᴇᴡ ᴠᴀʟʟᴇʏ

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: ꜱᴇʙᴀꜱᴛɪᴀɴ, ꜱᴀᴍ, ᴇʟʟɪᴏᴛᴛ, ᴀʟᴇx

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ɴᴏɴᴇ

A/N: trying out a new format, so lemme know what you think! Idk if this'll become a regular thing, but I like the way this looks lol. It's so fancy. Also, I got some requests for sdv on my other blog, so I'm posting it here and combining all the requests into one lol

ꜱᴇʙᴀꜱᴛɪᴀɴ:

out of all the bachelors (that I write for), I think he would take the longest time to warm up to

if you become friends with Sam or Abigail first, it'll definitely help him warm up to you faster

after y'all finally start dating (you probs had to ask him), he's still pretty shy around you

he doesn't have a lot of dating experience (if any at all), so he's very unsure of how to go about things

after getting to know each other more though, he finally starts to relax more around you

in general, I think homeboy is very reserved

so, I think when it comes to initiating physical touch, telling you what's wrong, etc etc, it can take him a long time to actually get around to doing those things

you always reassure him through everything though and make sure he knows that you're there to support, learn, and grow with him no matter what :)

after like a year of dating, y'all are basically perfect

you know the in's and out's of the other person

homeboy is a BIG cuddler

I think the way he shows physical affection is probably quality time

I can just see him wanting to share your space, even if you two aren't necessarily doing anything together

Like, just do your own thing while he games, or come join him!

when you two live together, I think things are kinda bumpy at first as you adjust to having someone else in your space all the time

probs leads to a few arguments, but nothing some good ol communication can't fix

when it comes to going to bed, homie stays up rather late, so if you don't, you banish him to the abyss (the living room) if he needs to do something with light or sound (if that'll keep you up, that is)

if you're also a night owl, you two are two peas in a pod

y'all will curl up and watch a movie, talk, play games, you name it

nighttime is always his fav time to spend with you bc you aren't busy doing farm work

I think his fav cuddling position is spooning, but where you spoon him 🥺 he just wants to be held man 🥺

ꜱᴀᴍ:

falls in love with you SO FAST

dude was smitten with you as soon as he saw you tbh

he's just such a simpy loverboy, he ca't help himself

gives you gifts probs just as much as you give him gifts

matter of fact, that's probs his love language right there

OMG loves writing short lil verses for you 🥺 (definitely is WAY too shy to read or preform them to you at first, but maybe once you two start dating he shows them to you and you literally SWOON)

probs asks you out at least three times a week and you always think it's a joke (aww and maybe at one point he stops asking and you're kinda bummed cause you thought it was really cute but when you mention it to Abigail or Sebastian they're like ??? he wasn't kidding and you're like GHOSRIGHR SAM BABE PLS COME BACK omg the potential angst I'm-)

when you two are officially together, he is not quiet about it

bro basically makes a public announcement that y'all are madly in love (he's so embarrassing pls)

even before you started dating, he's very touchy with you

in general, I think he's a touchy kinda guy, but especially with you

always has his hands on you, always wants you close to him, always always always

similar to Sebastian, I think he's also a night owl, so if you are too, he's just like :) let's! watch! a! bunch! of! movies! :) (and then falls asleep during like the second one lmao)

also a big gamer, so he'd piss himself if you offer to game with him

fav cuddling position is probs spooning where he gets to hold you as close to him as he likes :) (which is as close as humanly possible)

ᴇʟʟɪᴏᴛᴛ:

I think Elliott is super polite and friendly to you, but nothing more

so, it's you pursuing him, I think

he probs doesn't even realize that you're flirting with him and trying to rizz him up for the longest time LMAO

he's always very flattered and honestly a little flustered anytime you give him gifts, compliment him, etc.

will die ON THE SPOT if you write a poem for him (even if it's bad. it's the thought that counts <3)

when he starts to take romantic interest in you, expect a LOT of poems, actually

in general, anytime he speaks to you it's all very flowery and beautiful (and sometimes you don't even really know what he's saying bc it'll be old english, but you know it's romantic nonetheless)

"Thou art wise as thou art beautiful." and "Mine eye is enthrallèd to thy shape." and the probs the most romantic one by far that he said once you two started officially dating, "You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read."

treats you like royalty, on god

he's such a hopeless romantic, so he does the whole nine yards of flowers, candies, poems, love letters/notes, thoughtful gifts, you name it

he's enraptured by you and wants you by his side for all eternity

in general, I think his love language is probably words of affirmation

he tends to go on poetic tangents about your beauty (and just you in general) quite often

he's a simp, your honor

as for sleepy time, I think he's an old man that goes to bed at the latest 10 pm and wakes up earliest 7 am. This, of course, is if he isn't struck by creative genius and has to write until 6 am to get everything he needs out

awe, it's cute because if you're out and about trying to finish some farming stuff, by like 2 am he's waking up bc he's like :( where are you :( the bed is cold :(( come back :((( and is all worried about you bc "it's late." But the second he does it and you're like babe wha- he's like "No talk. Must write." and that's the end of the conversation LMAO

fav position to cuddle is the one where he's laying on his back and you're on your side with your head on his chest/shoulder/neck. He LOVES LOVES LOVES rubbing your back and/or playing with your hair as y'all fall asleep

ᴀʟᴇx:

is not shy about how he feels about you

compliments you EVERY SINGLE TIME he sees you without fail

he loves how flustered you get when he does it

is definitely the type to be able to dish it out but can't take it

WILL turn into a tomato ON SIGHT if you compliment his muscles or tell him he looks strong

he probs asks you out on a date rather shortly after meeting you and does his best to rizz you up

I think in his head he's this big, tough, macho guy with these big muscles and words made of satin, but in reality I think that while he is strong, he's such a dork (in the best way possible)

like, on your first date, he's probs like "yeah ima charm the pants off of them!" and then he sees you and literally can't stop stuttering and tripping over his own words because of how beautiful you are

bro is COMMITTED to you after that first date though

he's always asking to hang out to the point he even offers to help you out on the farm (which he ends up loving because he likes doing all the heavy lifting stuff, like moving bales of hay or chopped down trees)

bc of this, I think his love language is acts of service bc he knows that it's something he's good at

you need help around the farm? He's got you, babe. You need something from that top shelf? Easy, babe. Oh no! That one place is closing soon and you forgot to run that errand? He can get there in no time, babe. Had a long day and just need to relax? He's ready to give you a massage and run a bath for you. Whatever you need

he's definitely big on physical touch and I think his favorite way of greeting you is to sneak up behind you and hug you from behind

he loves feeling you jump in surprise before relaxing into him

I like to think he's on a very strict regime where he, of course, has to exercise and eat right, but I think he also is required to get at least eight hours of sleep every night

so, similar to Elliott, he's an old man and goes to bed early and wakes up early to start that daily grind 🤩💪

fav cuddling position is to have you lay on top of him, like full body just suffocating him

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MASTERLISTS

More with SDV + more with Sebastian

Join my discord server : https://discord.gg/qnDxJ6rr67 

Tag List:  @katelynwithpaint, @babykirbysstuff ✦ if you would like to be added or removed, comment or send an ask. Also, remember to tell me if you ever change your username so I can continue to tag you :)

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #098

(taken january 5th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

When’s the last time you rode a bike? All the way back in high school.

What color was the car you were last in? White.

Do you own many hats? I own literally one from a Carolina Hurricanes game I went to with Dad, but I never wear it; it's just a memory thing. I'm not a hat person.

Listening to music? What’s the opening and last lyric of the song? CHRIST I've discovered "Pussy Liquor" by Rob Zombie and I hate that I love it lmfao but I'm not familiar enough w/ the lyrics yet and don't feel like looking it up right now.

Have you ever taken an underwater picture? No.

What was your favorite color when you was little? Has it changed? It was red, until I truly became conscious of pink being a color. It eventually changed to maroon, but it's been back to pink for a long time now.

Are you a fan of cheesecake? It actually depends; I fucking ADORE The Cheesecake Factory's cheesecakes, but I've heard people say that's not a "real" or "proper" cheesecake or whatever. I've come to notice I don't generally really like homemade ones.

Who’s the last person that slept over at your house? Girt.

Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? Who? I know at least one person who recovered from one. Realistically I probably know WAY more.

What was the last thing you screamed? I have zero idea.

Do you love your best friend? I wanna marry him so I love him in more than one way, lol.

What is your favorite lyric? I have WAY too many.

Do you have a nativity scene in your home? We keep one up around Christmastime, yes. Or rather, Mom does. It's not something I'll do in my own place.

If you’re a girl, what color is your favorite bra? I don't have a favorite, honestly. Because of my size I don't have much variety or nice designs to choose from.

Does creating make you happy? YES. Almost more than anything.

Do you have abusive family members? I might, idk. No one in my immediate circle, though.

What US city would you most like to visit? Absolutely no idea.

What country in the world would you most like to visit? South Africa.

Do you have your wedding all planned out in your head? Definitely not. I have ideas for various things, but nowhere near everything.

What is your dream job? A great nature photographer, I guess, that gets to travel a decent amount and is able to support herself well enough...

Do you parents support your dreams? Yes. No one believes in me more than my mama, especially.

Have you ever had feelings for someone and never told them? Yep.

What’s your favorite Disney theme park? I went there once as a young kid, too young to remember these kinds of details.

What’s the theme of this year’s calendar? Don't have one, but I DID get a planner for this year! I want to be better at keeping up with things like my doctor appointments and stuff. Most of its pictures involve birds and fruit and stuff.

Do you get stage fright? If I was up there by myself, I absolutely would. When I did dance though, it was never TOO bad.

What pharmacy do you use? Walgreens.

Would you rather go to a '50s diner or a brewery? AHHHHH '50S DINER!!! The AESTHETIC, y'all. We actually had a diner kinda like that near my house, but it shut down due to Covid and I'm still very bummed about it. There's another around here too, Hwy 55, that's still open and does this really cute thing where some foods, like the fries, come in cardboard vintage cars, and they were SO cute. I remember I kept one as decoration for a while way back.

What do you like on your nachos? I honestly just like nacho cheese.

Do you still talk to your first best friend? No, we drifted apart in like, middle school.

Owls or penguins? Owls. I LOVE owls.

Charlie Brown or Snoopy? Never been into the Peanuts, but Snoopy is cute.

What was one of the stupidest things you cried over when you were little? There is literally a home video Mom has of my older sister's birthday party and I cried over not being able to pin the tail on the donkey lmfao. I was very very young, but still, damn, lol.

Have you ever drank milk from the carton? No, that REALLY grosses me out.

Do you ever sneak scraps to the dog even though you’re not suppose to? I never, ever give Cookie human food because she begs TERRIBLY, like absolutely obnoxiously, and I'm not encouraging that behavior. Mom feeds her stuff and I hate it because she acts very entitled to human food by this point; if my mom is eating, she will NOT be left alone. Cookie just stares at her food like it's the only thing in the entire span of the whole universe that matters, and she basically nearly bites my mom's hand off when she's offered anything.

What was the last book you were required to read for school? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking phenomenal and very, very haunting as a woman.

Do you like cherry Coke? Yes.

Do you think guyliner is hot? YES

Would you eat a sucker if someone already ate some of it? What the fuck, no.

Would you chew somebody else's gum? No???????????

Ever said something to someone that you didn’t mean to say? Oh yes, my mouth is great at being very impulsive. I'm really trying to get better about it.

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No, those have always sounded like literal torture to me.

Would you ever want to be a part of the army? A couple days ago I saw a shirt that said "I'd rather be served rat poison than serve this country" and I honestly want it lmfao, if that answers your question.

Would you rather sing or dance in front of your crush? Sing, I couldn't dance to save my life in the shape I'm in. I don't think I'm a great singer either, but it'd be less embarrassing.

Did you ever in your lifetime like Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus? I enjoyed the show quite a bit, but never her as a musician. "The Climb" and "Butterfly Fly Away" are fucking fantastic, though.

Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? I honestly don't know who my best female friend is, so. Besides my mom, and she can do a hell of a lot of things I can't. I think she's notably good at crafty stuff.

Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? No; my dad gives me money in person, but no one mails anything.

Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? No. Well, maybe some stored away ig, but none that I wear.

What do you think about mullets? I tend to really not like them, but sometimes they look okay.

Do you know anybody who has a birthday in November? Uhhhh... I probably do, but none that I have memorized. Teddy's birthday was November 1st, but he's been gone for a few years now...

Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? Not in my room, no.

Have you ever done another person’s make-up? Heh, I gave Jason a makeover once. That's the only time, though.

Have you ever spied on your neighbor? No...

When was the last time it rained? There was a literal severe thunderstorm yesterday. In January. And it was over 70 degrees. That NEVER happens here, ever. We've already had one winter thunderstorm before this, so this is just very odd.

Honestly, do you double dip? If I'm sharing with somebody and you're not my long-time significant other where it's no longer weird, no.

What color is your birthstone? Purple.

What is one thing you don’t like sharing? DRINKS. In almost no case will I share a drink. I don't even like sharing with my s/o, but I will if I need to.

Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? I wouldn't get a genital piercing. I also find corset piercings to be REALLY gross.

Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know, he has so many.

Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? My mom did. I can actually remember reading books with her as a young child.

Have you ever been hit on through a text message? Yeah.

Do you have to do any yard work? No.

What’s worse, ignorance or stupidity? Deliberate ignorance. Then you're just trying not to learn.

What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? AI art, its effects upon real artists, and its morality debates. An anti-AI art picture is going around dA and I've shared it on both of my accounts there considering I am VEHEMENTLY against AI "art" being a genuine form of artistic expression, and on my main's upload, I shared links to multiple articles that I read in full addressing this issue.

What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Thongs look so fucking uncomfortable to me, to name one. Even if I was in great shape and proud of my body I am VERY doubtful I could tolerate one.

Will you go outside today? I think Mom and I are getting Sonic for dinner tonight so yes.

Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic as fuck. I can learn *some* things visually, though, but I'm definitely less likely to have that information permanently stick that way.

Do you have any pets and are they cuddly? Cookie is a TOTAL cuddlebug, like all she wants is to be with/on a person, and Roman is also very cuddly, especially if he's tired and wants to sleep. There are occasions where he wants to be left alone, though. Venus is a snake, but for a snake I still do consider her quite cuddly! Like the average ball python she likes to find a spot where she's comfortable and just chill, and that's often against me or even inside my shirt, lol. She definitely proves again and again that she trusts me.

Do you like the smell of coffee? Despite hating the taste of it, coffee is very, very high on my list of favorite smells.

If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? Probably surprisingly, I honestly don't. There's a shitload on deviantART that are absolutely contenders, though. Jovana Rikalo/thefirebomb on dA might be the queen actually, her account name always sticks with me because I just find her art so impressive. There's another female photographer on there who is very popular for portraiture with live, sometimes even ordinarily dangerous animals (I should mention that these animals are all handled/owned morally for various reasons) that are simply stunning and have such a fairytale vibe. I managed to find her via Google, if anyone's interested: Anastasiya Dobrovolskaya. Incredibly talented.

How did you choose your particular Bzoink icon? I don't have a Bzoink and never have.

When you see a good-looking girl in skimpy clothing, what is your initial thought? I wish I had her confidence and probably her body too, haha. People can dress however the hell they want, and if that's in a way that shows more of the body they're proud of having? That's wonderful for them.

How many cars does your household own? One.

Do you know anyone named Edward or any nickname of that? I don't think so.

[kiiroitori97]

Long post ahead. I wanted to ask for advice/support on a situation I've been dealing with. My therapist and friends /family weren't very helpful since none of them are ace.

I'd appreciate any feedback y'all might have 💜

I recently reconnected with a guy I met 7 years ago. I was 17 and new to working retail, he was a customer who liked our conversation and got back in line to give me his number. I didn't immediately realize that's what he was doing and threw away the paper lol - I did a double take and noticed it.

I end up texting him and we meet up. We chat a couple of times and he wants to hold hands while we talk and hug before we go separate ways; I really liked him (still do) but I also felt very uncomfortable. I really struggle to tell potential romantic partners that I'm ace. I don't like talking about sex in any personal capacity. I don't remember exactly what I said but I basically told him I wasn't interested and he left me alone.

Fast forward 7 years and I work at a different retail chain that he worked at last year. I become friends with the store group and we reconnect. He gave me a hug at a work mixer and I thought I felt something; nothing sexual but definitely not what I normally feel. I end up asking if he wants to hang out and we go for a walk around town and play chess at a local brewery. I had a lot of fun but he kept giving me hugs and held my hand at one point during chess. After that night it was constant good morning and good night texts day after day, he came to see my at work too. I still wanted to hang out but I felt myself not wanting to be hugged anymore, I never did like the hand holding. I cancelled our hang out one night but agreed to meet at his new job. Again I had a good conversation with him but I didn't like the hugs anymore. I also didn't like him talking about us cosplaying as romantically involved characters ( I love cosplay but I don't want romantic or sexual stuff mixed with cosplay) . I honestly don't know why I even had doubts that he was interested in me ( I remember doubting the first time too) I'm so mixed up about the situation. I really like talking with him, and he does give good hugs but I need space and a break from it all. I also felt really worried about our past interactions and if I was leading him on now. So I finally called him after cancelling our plans again. I apologized for not meeting up and we talked. I finally asked him how he felt, and he admitted he really likes me, and had a bunch of stuff planned for us to do and was bummed out that I cancelled. He then said he was feeling better since we talked but then he asked how I felt. I told him I don't feel the way most people do, and I'm not sure I'm even capable of liking him that way. I thanked him for being honest, and I reassured him I really do like him and want to be friends but I also don't want to hurt him either. I told him I understand we can't help how we feel, and that's why I really want us to be honest to each other. He agreed but also asked if we could talk about it again sometime down the road. I told him we can talk about it anytime, but if he's asking if I'll change, I said probably not.

I feel relieved by how well the conversation went, but I also suspect he's not showing how hurt he is. I mean he waited 7 years ( sure there were other girls but he said the relationships didn't last bcus they didn't have enough in common or to talk about) he also does what I do and pretends things are fine for other people so they don't feel bad. I'm worried I really hurt him, but I also don't feel guilty bcus I needed to clear the air & make sure both our expectations were communicated.

I feel much more relaxed to hang out now that the pressure of possibly leading him on is gone. But this whole issue has brought up some questions about my romantic preferences. I don't understand why I thought I felt something, but when things started picking up the feeling did a 180°.

I always assumed I was panromantic asexual, bcus I just never had a preference to gender. But now I'm wondering if I'm somewhere on the aromantic spectrum or lithromantic? I seriously started having so much anxiety and stress about the situation I didn't want to hang out even though I still did at the same time? I admit there is someone that kinda makes me want a QPR with them, but I'm worried if they actually start to like me in that way this situation will happen all over again. I don't mind the idea of being "alone" bcus I love my friends and family, but I also don't feel great when people crush on me and I don't understand why things happened the way they did. I want people to like me just not in that way.

Ugh, I wish asexual/aromantic awareness was more common. Please lmk if any of you guys know what I've experienced, how did you handle it? Should I just tell him I'm ace and think I might be aro too?

Thank you for reading such a long winded post

[gay-shii]

slashers with a halloween freak gn s/o + what they do on trick or treat/halloween

Jason Voorhees

Jason likes your enthusiasm. He doesn't let you decorate outside the house but the inside is free range. Its a 'secret cabin' for a reason. The last thing Jason needs is someone finding it because you put up glow in the dark spiderwebs.

When he sees what you've done with the place he's impressed. The house looks real corny with the paper "ghosts" (white shapeless blobs) on the walls but it was the best you could do.

That relatable moment when Jason comes home to Y/N reading latin from a book with a pentagram on it. Silly Y/N :)

jasons pumpkin - he took his sweet time

Michael Myers

Don't you have babysitters to traumatize?

You love Halloween? You wanna decorate the house? You wanna put out candy??? What is wrong with you?

He lets you give the kids candy only when hes out doing shit but thats it. Once he comes home its all getting shut down.

He does nothing. No decorations, no summoning satan, nothing. He's a little boring but he might watch a couple scary movies with you if you look too bummed. And by might I mean definitely.

michaels pumpkin - he punched it bc his knife got stuck

Bubba Sawyer

The ppl that come to his house get eaten, so candy isn't necessary. He really wants to decorate the house but Draytons a dick. Y'all get to decorate Bubbas room.

When you guys are done the room looks like a haunted house. Good for aesthetic, bad for sleeping. Theres fake blood splattered on the walls, fake (real) skeletons hung on the walls, and everything else you could find at that wack ass dollar store in town.

With all the scary movies you and Bubs watch, he finds it hard to sleep, especially Nightmare on Elm Street. Now we have a tired, whiny Bubba. Never remind him of that movie again.

Bubbas pumpkin - he's proud of it don't be mean

Stu Macher

Stu is a halloween freak too dw. He's hooking kids up at his house. Big ass candy bars, fancy chocolate and he always saves some extra for the two of you. The outside of his house is decorated to the max.

He might throw on a costume if theres a party or something. Don't get your hopes up, its going to be a very cheap/DIY ass costume. A white sheet with two holes poked through it? Are you serious Stu?..

Stu sees you doing voodoo magic shit at the party and he's just like "shits bouta get interesting" He likes you because you spark the mood with your halloween spirit.

Stus pumpkin - "haha because hes the murderer guy yk... people are scared of him :)"

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms will let you do whatever you want as long as you're happy and wont leave him. He's gonna ask questions about this "human sacrifice" thing you've been talking about?? Y/N??

He quite likes the decor since it reminds him of the childhood he never had. He wants to decorate with you and do all the fun halloween activities.

He expects a good halloween dinner every night for the whole of October. Pumpkin pie every meal gets old pretty fast.

"Brahms why cant I give out candy?"

"I don't need you talking to them, they're gonna take you away."

"...They're kids, Brahms."

Brahms' pumpkin - got a little carried away

Billy Lenz

He thinks Halloween is alright. He never really cared for holidays, they were just an excuse for people to get together. Now he has you so he doesn't know how to feel about it.

Yes, decorate the house however you'd like. Billy likes the fall colors, he thinks you look amazing with them on.

Billy is head over heels with you and will do anything you ask. "A cat boy maid dress for a halloween costume? Thats not very scary Y/N." He questions as he immediately puts it on. He knows what you're doing.

Billys Pumpkin - a nice pumpkin that you basically did all the work for

Hope u enjoyed lol

[gubler-garbage]

Dude you don’t know how cathartic it is to read your thoughts on the shipping culture in always sunny. Whenever I get into a piece of media for the first time my go-to move to get content about it is to go on tumblr, and when I did that for iasip I genuinely thought I was going crazy. Seeing the sheer amount of shipping posts made in complete sincerity made me wonder if I was missing something? So I suspended my disbelief thinking maybe some crazy shit happened in the seasons I hadn’t seen yet, but lo and behold that’s not the case lmao. Also this is a way smaller thing to complain about but the fandom’s intense focus on Mac and Dennis (on tumblr at least) makes it so there’s way less content for Charlie (that’s how it feels to me, but maybe I’m wrong) which bums me out. Anyway, sorry for the long ask, I just wanted you to know that someone did read your long post and appreciated it a lot.

thanks you so much!! It's been really lovely hearing from y'all. I don't want to come off too critical of the fandom because generally speaking and having been on this garbage site for almost 10 years, the people in this fandom are kind and respectful towards each other with very little vicious or angry discourse and even if I don't agree with quite a few takes, I do enjoy reading what everyone thinks because a lot of y'all have really thoughtful critiques of the show and its creators. It's really just the really hardcore shippy side of the fandom that puts me off a bit. I don't have any problem with shipping or anything, macden is a ton of toxic fun but I definitely agree with you that the way people talk about them as if its not just a ship but a foregone canon conclusion is quite strange honestly. Like I think it would be a really interesting direction for the show but the way people talk about them seems like a incredible reach and a recipe for intense disappointment. I feel like its a more common thing now that people aren't just content with shipping something, they need it to be canon. There is no such thing as a "correct" interpretation of art, interpretations can be ill informed, ignorant etc but it isn't "wrong" and trying to impose your interpretation on others is really just obnoxious. Imo half the fun of shipping is exploring the dynamics of characters that would never be addressed in the show or expanding on different plots or characters that you think are interesting but never really made it to being a large part of the show or movie or whatever. I just personally don't understand this attachment to something being made explicitly canon (but obviously when I say that I'm not referring to queerbaiting and the like from shows like supernatural, I definitely understand where people are coming from with that, like I was a Richonne stan in twd fandom lol). I have seen people try and make the "queerbaiting" argument for sunny and that one really gets me goin like absolutely livid like some of you really love to try and co-opt serious issues of representation for your dumbass shipping discourse, it drives me up a god damn wall. It's really transparent when there is so so (cannot be over expressed) so god damn much to criticise about sunny but (and of course this is only my personal opinion but I feel like it's a pretty solid consensus) the way Mac's sexuality and coming out was treated (in the latter half of the show once the decision was actually made to take that path with his character) was with the utmost reverence and respect that it deserved. Of all the misteps made by sunny Mac's coming out and acceptance is absolutely not one of them. Personally I feel Mac is one of the most important pieces of representation currently on tv and the idea that out of the incredibly long list of criticisms for the show some of the fandom have decided "queer-baiting" is the primary issue is unbelievable to me. Like first of all the fundamental misunderstanding of what the term even means is endlessly frustrating but also reeks of that Community meme "I can excuse racism but I draw the line at my gay ship not being canon". It's petty and childish and devalues all of the very important discussion to be had surrounding representations of queer characters.

I'm so sorry, I got so off track on this one gang. One last thing I really have absolutely no problem with the popularity of macden, they're a real fun ship and people are free to post whatever they please. Personally I love my sweet baby rat boy charlie and wanted to see more of him so I jumped headfirst into that brainrot and made the content myself lol.

Just really wanna reiterate cos I feel like I might come off a bit aggressive in this, I love you macdens y'all are making super cool content and amazing art and if that's the direction the show ends up going I'll be more than happy! All fandoms have some bad takes goin on, thats half the fun lol.

[leviachaan]

Fellow Levi lover! Once on my acc he had 7 level of intimacy while others were on third, lol. Anyway, nice to see a new blog! Any rules? Since you don't have them yet, I'd like to request a matchup (tho it may take 2 parts, bc, ya know, rambling). Whatever! I'm not sure that appearance or nationality really matters but I'd still say that I'm a short (155 cm) Russian gorl. Can't live without reading, drawing, writing and translating! Also, I'm into dancing, jazz funk genre (ya like jazz?) 1/2

2/2 Extremely chaotic but mostly through texts, I'm just weak fainting lady who can't jump all day long. Impulsive, optimistic and manipulative, ayyy! Absolute geek, classic vine woman (there's only one thing worse than a rapist. Boom. A child). Actually smart. Not genius but at the top of our school rating (homeschooling, lol, I actually skipped 8th grade sometime ago and went into 9th). Cats are my passion, money my friend. Good luck to you and your blog!

//AYEEE FELLOW LEVI LOVER I FEEL YOU. Otaku boi has won over my heart in so many levels you have no idea. You sound so cool! Jazz funk?? THAT'S COOL AS HELL💖

I think your energy would really be a good match for the one and only...Mammon! (Levi coming to a close second!)

This greedy boi will be able to keep up with your chaotic nature effortlessly.

I definitely see him as a pretty talented dancer, if he puts his mind to it. Especially jazz! (He definitely will try to persuade you into dancing in order to distract people in the midst of one of his schemes)

Will practically beg you to see you dancing...the Mammon way.

"It's not every day that THE great Mammon asks for a human to dance for him! You are lucky!" *Insert intense blushing here*

Make it a private dance though, because he can really put Levi to shame with how jealous he can be, if his brothers stare.

"Oi! What are y'all lookin at?? Have ya never seen anyone dance before?? Eyes off!"

Demands a dance just for him, he's your first after all.

Definitely not an expert like Levi, but Mammon would know all vines that have to do with money by heart.

Mammon: "Hey, how much money do you have?"

Beel: "uhh like 69 cents"

Mammon: " eh you know what that means ;)"

Beel: *sobbing* "I don't have enough money for chICKEN NUGGETS-"

Definitely will spend a whole night memorizing every vine possible to impress you.

For the love of Diavolo help him study

The only way he would ever approach a book is his life, would be to impress you by proving to you that he's smart.

He might not catch on to things immediately, but he's trying, okay?

Gets a straight A on one of his tests, because of you and he's beaming.

"HaHA! That's what y'all get for doubting THE great Mammon! Told ya I was smart. Take that LUCIFE- he's behind me, isn't he?"

Spoiler alert; he was.

To be honest with you, he wouldn't be paying any attention to the material you were trying to teach him. He would be too focused on your calming voice, you soft expressions, the way your hair swayed, your pleasant scent, you occasionally calling out his name in the sweetest tone he's ever heard, you lightly touching his forearm, the way you would smile at him every time he got something right, your lips-

no he definitely doesn't want to kiss you right now what are you talking about.

But of course, he can't possibly deal with the idea of you being disappointed in him so he will work his bum off studying at night just to make you proud and happy.

He is used to everyone thinking of him as a scum, but he can't bare the thought of you losing faith in him. You are all he has.

If money's your friend, than OH B O I YOU FOUND THE RIGHT GUY.

He will spoil the h e l l out of you.

Spending money a n d getting to spoil the love of his life? Sign him the hell up.

He will work overtime just to provide you with all he can. He's greedy, but he's greedy for your love too.

Protective as heck

Make sure to never overwork yourself, because if he pops up in your bedroom to find you passed out one day, he will start weeping and sobbing thinking you somehow died.

He can't possibly imagine a future without his human so you are stuck with him now, okay? You are not allowed to die and leave him. He will fight death himself.

Please, hug him and pet his hair. He is so touched starved that you even looking at him is adequate to have him feeling all warm and fuzzy inside for a week.

He's an active texter as well so you two would be chatting c o n s t a n t l y.

He would rather die than admit it, but texting you first thing in the morning is his favourite part of the day.

Why early in the day and not night you ask?

Because this cunning little demon is planning on spending all his nights with you.

Your room feels more like his room than your own by this point.

He's a puppy, please love him

Thank you so much for your kind words and I really hope you enjoyed the matchup!💖🥺

[siyeonjisoo]

I went to see Miyavi today and it was absolutely one of the hottest days I have intentionally spent outside without being at the beach or pool or something like that.  I woke up at 6 and left my house by 7:15 so I could line up early.  I only had GA so I wanted to make sure I was gonna have a good spot in the line but I also wanted to be up close with my friends who also usually camp out all day. 

Got there at like...9-ish and was the actual fourth person in line.  Among the folks who had GA tickets, I was actually second cuz half were VIP and half were GA. This was the first time Miyavi had performed in NYC but not at Irving Plaza or at a special event somewhere else so I was joking around that maybe the rest of the line was actually there by mistake lol.

Another 2 people showed up over the next 3 hours before Miyavi got to the venue.  So he got out of the van and he came over. Almost didn't stop to greet all of us individually. Like we were right next to the door and he looked like he was gonna say hi while walking in but then he recognized at least 2 of the people in the line and thought better of it. Shook everyones hand and had something slightly different to say to each of us before heading inside.  All in the spirit of thanking us for being here or asking if we were ready to rock and what not. Like 10 minutes later, the next few folks joined the line and we were screaming over him coming by still and they were so upset they missed him.

I spent the rest of my day just chatting and catching up with my friends that I really only end up seeing like once a year at Miyavi shows and seriously hate it. I need to see y'all more often!  I honestly almost cried on the train ride home thinking about how I'm gonna miss y'all. </3

The girl who got in line directly behind me ended up being one of the most amazing human beings I could have met that day.  Her friend bailed on her after she had bought two VIP tickets so she had an extra one. WHICH SHE GAVE TO ME. So I got to go inside and have the meet and greet experience before the show!  I kind of was so much in shock that I didn't really tell him much of anything other than thanking him and telling him I look forward to rocking with him.  We were told by security that we weren't allowed to touch him but he extended his hand before I could even say hi.  And he like put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me flush against his side for the pictures.  I had ZERO space between me and him in that picture and it was done by him, not me creeping on his personal space.  lol.

It wasn't until this afternoon that the full weight of HAVING MET HIM AND BEING ABLE TO SPEAK TO HIM FOR LIKE A FULL MINUTE is a THING THAT HAPPENED crashed on me and I just started crying while sitting on my couch.  I just remember the first time I saw him and it was just overwhelming to be in the same room as him with hundreds of other fans.  This time, it was literally me, Miyavi, two photographers, and maybe a manager and security staff somewhere behind the lights that I couldn't see.  I couldn't quite get out the words I wanted to.  I couldn't get up the nerve to thank him for giving me something to pull myself out of my depression when I was a teenager.  I couldn't get up the nerve to tell him he is going to be the inspiration for my next tattoo that is going to be a companion to my the GazettE tattoo.  So I'm a little bit bummed at myself for that but I still got the pictures and the as-close-to one-on-one time I will ever get with him unless I run into him on his free time and I am thankful for that and will choose to focus on that instead.

Leave the m&g and walked in a daze up to the barricade where my friends are waiting.  looked at the pictures and they both turned out surprisingly good.  I went to check out getting merch but the line for that was WAY too long and there was only one person behind the table selling stuff so I gave up when I saw the people I recognized to be the front of the GA line coming in.  I knew it meant I might have trouble getting back to my friends who were saving my place at the barricade and I don't need to be buying merch, I'm okay without it.

Stood around chatting with folks and making even more new friends for the next 2 hours but it seemed to FLY by.  Almost.  When the show started I expected to get crushed against the barricade but I didn't.  I actually had a few inches to move on all sides around me so I was able to keep my feet from growing numb like usual.  I had stashed my bag in a friends hotel room nearby so I didn't have to worry about stepping on that or anything and my phone was secured in another friend's bag so I was completely free to enjoy as much as I wanted.

And enjoy I did.  I was positioned on the drum side of center but still 3 people off of the dead center.  I was on the barricade. I screamed and cheered and sung my heart out.  I headbanged when I could.  I have the bruises on the back of my upper arms to prove I was on the barricade and resting my arms on it throughout.  Miyavi kept teasing us with his sexiness that somehow only gets stronger the more times I see him.  I can't explain it.

We taught him some English slang, you're the sauce. He was so confused "s.a.u.c.e. sauce?" Spelling it out. Asking DJ johnny. Said he would Google it later since he still didnt fully trust us to be honest with the meaning we gave him lol.  Someone in the crowd shouted about wanting pizza and Takamasa Lee Ishihara replied "pizza? no, I prefer Whole Foods" and I almost peed myself from laughter.

He also is so sexy I actually went weak at the knees when he did some shit.

In the chats I had with my friends before, I convinced them to help me get Bobo (the drummer)'s attention.  So when he came out we all screamed like crazy for him instead of Miyavi.  And we were right in front of his drum set so they knew we were there.  Every time it was quiet enough after songs, I started a Bobo-call. First two times it happened Bobo sat there with zero emotion on his face, staring at the wall across from him.  Miyavi was watching it unfold with amusement and would say something to Bobo but not into his microphone so no clue what it was but he would say something and then laugh.  I had kinda given up hope that I would get properly acknowledged until the very end of the show.  After they all bowed after encore, I kept calling him instead of Myv and giving him hearts and he noticed and looked so cute and embarrassed and like nodded/hands together bowed at me. He is just the most precious.   

My friend got a copy of the setlist so that's attached here. This man is a fucking beast and I love him so much.

I also love all of my friends who were there.  Thank you all for loving me and accepting me into our lovely #concertfam