#i dont care about numbers that much anymore but i DO want some sort of reward for my effort

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

not to be a jerk but it is not encouraging to get a thousand notes on a shitpost then like, fifteen on a piece i spent the whole day on. not to be a jerk tho.

[tortor-sauce]

18+ POST LOOK AWAY 👹🔞 if you’re not 18+ PLEASE DNI with this post!! 👹🔞

(sketch and drabble and headcanons)

(jel/reth/oc stuff)

GO AWAY LOOK AWAY!!!!! IM WARNING YOU 🔪

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I CANT EVEN TAG THIS I DONT EVEN WANT PEOPLE TO SEE BUT I HAVE TO SHOW SOMEONE AND TALK ABOUT IT OR I’LL EXPLODE!!!!

i’m too shy to share the whole picture IM SORRY—i just wanted to capture a few headcanons into a single shamelessly horny drawing of the three of them together. also, my thoughts are completely unorganized and this post is mostly just me rambling!

small disclaimer, if you don’t agree with or like my headcanons, that’s totally valid but please don’t tell me so 🙇 i kindly ask you just move on from this post. thank you!

okay. so i feel like both reth and jel are service tops HEAR ME OUT—like, they’re both just a couple of pathetic lover boys who are so head over heels in love with you. the fact they practically always gift you something when you flirt with them in-game (jel gifting silk and reth gifting soup) i feel is their attempts at spoiling you and taking care of you in their own way. they just want to see you happy and make you cum your brains out a thousand times until you can’t think straight anymore 🥺

and in general, i feel jel would love to shower you in compliments and words of praise and practically worship your body. while i feel reth is the type to show you how he feels and relish in watching you come undone with him. but personally 👉👈 i feel jel and reth align more closely as switches because they’re both so.. so soft and need to be spoiled and loved so deeply (no innuendo intended)

with that said, i think jel is a more intimate and passionate lover while reth is a bit more unhinged and rough. that’s not to say jel doesn’t have his sadistic bouts. i feel it stems directly from his obsessive nature and grows into a desire to watch you submit to him and his whims, sort of in a controlling way. but it makes him so happy when you do. the need to know you belong to him, both your heart and body, is honestly really important to him. i actually feel he has control issues due to a number of reasons but that’s a different discussion—💀 and he rewards you so thoroughly for showing him how much you love him. god, the aftercare? he’s so gentle and attentive and treats you like the most precious thing he’s ever held.

more on reth, while not as sadistic, i feel he’s still plenty controlling when he wants to be. the poor man has hardly any control in his day-to-day life and the fact you allow him an ounce of control? over your body of all things? yeah, that shit drives him mad (positive). gets a bit carried away and leaves marks on your body, hickeys, scratches, bruises, the like. but hey, at least it’s a pretty reminder of how much fun you had together. plus, if anyone sees they’ll know you belong to him. but he definitely teases you about it the following days by making sly comments and even running his fingers over the more sensitive marks.

so, in my polycule i envision moments where two will actively spoil the other. so for instance like when maddox and reth want to spoil jel and shower him in the love and affection he deserves, he gets all shy and blushy but relishes in the moment. he pays them back tenfold once they’re finished, but not that same night. maddox and reth make sure he’s completely worn out so he’ll finally get some damn sleep for once. reth is the same in that regard; he gets all shy and blushy but he enjoys being spoiled for once. not having to care about anything or anyone else and focus fully on himself and his pleasure. and the two know this and want to show him how loved he is. lowkey i imagine jel bringing him to tears, crying tears of pleasure and from overstimulation but that may be a personal thing of mine. 💀 and as for maddox? they both know exactly which buttons to push. i imagine them sort of egging each other along. i mentioned earlier i think jel has a sadistic side to him, well i think the same of reth albeit not nearly as prominent. like, the fact he teases and flirts so much could be for a number of reasons, but how lovely it would be if it were only to watch their reactions each time. with that said, maddox happens to be very reactive and discovering that fact in bed, like, awakens something inside of him to tease more, to push as much as maddox will allow him. and yes, he notices the way jel reacts to it too. it only makes him want to tease him for the fact as well 🥴 WHICH is why i drew him with that expression LMAO normally i would’ve imagined him with a much softer and kinder expression but i think he’s quick to lose himself in the throes of pleasure which causes him to act a bit selfish at times. but like i said, i see him as a service top so really his ‘selfish’ moments are him just spoiling maddie and jel and showering their bodies with so much love and attention.

i have so many more thoughts but this post is getting long and i’m getting embarrassed so i’ll stop there for now.

IF YOU READ THIS IM SORRY LOL BUT THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME///////

[kunikidanelson]

Alright there was surprisingly a lot of people who wanted to hear my interpretation of kunikidas backstory. So uhm here i go, i just hope i dont disappoint y'all. (Its long as fuck i know, and its not even all LMFAO)

i think he wasnt an orphan because im fucking sick of every single character in bsd being a fucking orphan. What i do think though is that he didn't have the best family life, an overly "protective" (controlling) mother and either an absent or inactive father. (as in, the dad didn't really care what happened at home he just sort of did whatever his wife wanted him to do) but basically this is where Kunikidas hatred for authority starts because all his mother does is pull the "im your mother and you have to listen to me" card. I think his ability before being affected by the "all men are equal" would definitely act up therefore he couldn't go to a proper school because he didn't want to accidentally summon a lion or something like that. So he was basically a nuisance to his mother because she had to homeschool him. Once he was older he decided to go to a math based high school for two reasons: he cant summon numbers; he could live in the school dorms. He basically runs away from home once he's capable and takes on a lot of part time jobs (katai offers him money but kunikida refuses) and basically lives like this until college. Being a good student grade wise he made a deal that if he does tutoring for the other students, they'll let him rent the dorm for free. But at one point he fails an important exam, and though he doesn't get expelled from the college they retract their statement about letting him tutor unless he proves he's knowledgeable in the subject. But that ruins his housing situation and lives on the street for a few days, realising that its less than ideal to sleep on a park bench he goes to katai out of desperation and lives with him for some time while he tries to find a job. And you might see where I'm going with this. But i dont think kunikida would apply to be a detective at first. I believe he would see some poster about the agency needing a secretary, especially someone who could handle computers and decides to try to get a job there. When he goes to the interview he almost starts crying because he's so desperate for money and his own place to live in. Fukuzawa takes pity on him and lets him take hold of the files. Kunikida gets his own apartment (yay) retakes his exam and gets back to tutoring. At one point the agency say they need some sort of signature (or something, i dont have to think of a specific example do i??) on regular paper and kunikida admits that though he knows how to write, his handwriting isn't very good because of his ability he didn't have much of a chance to perfect it. Yosano and Fukuzawa, of course shocked that kunikida has an ability in the first place meanwhile Ranpo just shrugs because he knew all along, just didn't care to mention it. Then fukuzawa asks Kuni if he doesn't want to join the agency as a detective and that any training he might need, will be provided. (Partly offering this to him because the agency in the early days had literally 4 members including the president and secretary Kunikida and they all built a sort of trust between each other) so kunikida accepts and eventually drops out of college because he quite literally doesn't need it anymore, he knows what he wants to do now. And also after all men are equal takes place kunikida starts writing traditionally all the time, simply because he was so deprived of it before, thus building his habit of keeping his notebook with him 24/7.

I hope this made a bit of sense, if you imagined it differently, im not taking that away from you this is just my interpretation xx

Also don't ask me how katai and kunikida met i dont know nor care, i mean they've been friends for around 10 years, so they met when they were 12? They honestly could have just met one day on complete random, I'm not looking too deep into that

[cannibalise]

emmm i rly. rly rly rly rly rly rlr yly rly rly rly rly rlryu rly like shrike and i talk abt him a lot privately to my friend so i wanted to ummm. make a post i guess? about him.. and similarities to corax and stuff because hes so Strange and fun and i love him

ok well first of all hes in. the rg codex supplement (8th) and ik hes mentioned in the space marine codices but i dont own them and finding pdfs isnt the easiest thing in the world (if anyone has the 5th and 4th ed ones id like to read them ToT or at least just screenshots of the raven pages or smth) the legends: shrike novella, and the short story shadow stalker. hes probably mentioned in some other stuff but as much as i want to hunt it all down because of my issues of the mind, i dont think i will be able to. coz its hard to find this stuff digitally and i dont rly wanna spend the money just to learn that hes mentioned like Once and its something i already know. i also wanna say im not like umm. well i wouldnt call myself new anymore but im definitely not like a 40k veteran. just laser focused on necrons, raven guard, and night lords. so if ive missed stuff or gotten something wrong then, u know. im getting thru stuff. i also thought abt ummm. posting screenshots of book stuff to back myself up but i dont know if thats. uhh. idk. is that too much. i dunno. i HAVE them and can get some other specific ones if anyone wants them. and obviously i can say what book theyre from and get the chapter number (not page number tho i read the chapters as big blocks rather than page by page)

anyway. the thing that sort of captured my attention at first abt him is his self destructive humility. or likeeee. almost what looks like a naked desire to die in battle, but not for personal honour or glory ('honour' as a concept in rg itself is honestly a very interesting topic to me anyway). hes just so driven and committed to the cause that if him dying to accomplish a goal or finish the mission is the easiest and most efficient way of doing that, then he thinks about it and commits to it and noone can talk him down. carefully considered recklessness is what i started calling it. he genuinely thinks about all the pros and cons and then does it anyway because his own life as the price is so easy for him to commit. and i think its super fun that hes aware of this shortcoming and its part of why he wants to find someone more suitable as chapter master (this is mentioned in the codex supplement). but SPECIFICALLY because the old master of shadows, severax, did a suicidal assassination attempt that failed and shrike looked at that and knew he wouldve done the same. because he has. in his novella. THREE times against the SAME ORK. and somehow just keeps Not Dying. silly guy... hes silly... i love him so much ToT i LIKE it about him because it feels so strange considering what hes normally like. hes hotheaded. hes highly motivated and driven and doesnt lose hope (again an interesting topic for rg coz of all the 'hope is pointless' stuff). ud think someone like that would have a rly strong drive to keep living and a survival instinct. and he does to some degree but the selflessness takes over or something. but a selflessness tht prioritises them all as an organisation? i mean this Should be normal for imperium anyway and it might be more common than im thinking, i honestly havent read a alot of imperium stuff coz i dont really care about it ! shrike to me is like 'hatred of the imperium leaving my body when i see a cute emoboy with weird issues in his head'. im a sucker for dudes that are quiet bt have that sort of burning passion inside and the fact that its entirely on the behalf of his brothers is too much. also its not totally related but something abt him in the supplement that i LOVED is an anecdote about imperial fists and iron hands having an argument over a tech relic powering a planets shields and shrike comes in and destroys it without either of them knowing so that theyre forced to stop arguing. its that simple logic. hes the type of guy that sees the shortest path to getting stuff done and just does it, regardless of the fallout. no overthinking or figuring stuff out slowly, u see an opportunity to solve a problem u take it right then and there. cut the bullshit i want you etc etc. i love this too in the novella coz even before hes promoted to captain hes arguing with his superiors about how they should keep going no matter the cost and take the shortest and most dangerous path. and another thing. he refuses every attempt at assigning him some honour or award or whatever and like u just KNOW its coz hes like 'well it wasnt me it was all of us together' or something. kayvaan 'i love my bros so much i could (and will) die' shrike

which i guess leads me to ummm. this part! similarities to corax. im STILL getting through horus heresy stuff but the more i read the more similarities i notice but theyre all like. weird picks. like i get that they probably wanted to make a chapter master that felt like corax, for multiple reasons, but they picked some Weird traits to carry over. like i dont think i would call corax hotheaded at all. hes very restrained and definitely does anger (especially when it involves the lycaeus-born ravens and the raptors) but hes too good at keeping a cap on it. to the point that i think this is ultimately his downfall. tho thats, personally speaking and im not like a Massive corax fan i just know him a little. im not staying over at his house for him. im getting chased out of his sons window in the morning instead. ...anyway. the point is that hes much more reserved and restrained. but because of that he also has the belief that there will come a time when hes able to withdraw and let someone else lead the ravens while he does... whatever he wants i guess? i havent seen it mentioned which is a shame coz it would change things a lot depending on what he intends to do. anyway this is mentioned in a lot of the things ive read with him actually. this is a trait he shares with shrike. but because of the differences in circumstance its connotation feels really different. like corax is a primarch, hes sort of marked out no matter what he does afterwards, and hes not rly like ummm. an arts and humanities guy like some of the others. on top of not even realising that hes reinforcing the tyranny that he fought to destroy on his own world. but thats a different topic entirely lol (one that i LIKE because i love tragic irony and the way he seems oblivious to it coz at the time he was so excited over meeting his new brothers (this is from deliverance lost)). anyway god that was a tangent, the POINT was that shrike also wants to give up his role and let someone else be master of shadows because hes too aware of how his recklessness isnt suitable for a leader at that level and has split the chapter up to hopefully have them all hardened and capable and able to take over for him. and then u just know hes gonna go back to trying to kill himself for the cause all the time until it finally sticks. shrike has that clear goal and hes picking the shortest path to it as usual. whereas corax broods a little more and maybe overthinks things. so its the same self awareness and the same wanting to withdraw from their positions but for totally different reasons, and i rly like the contrast. also its just Comical how corax has to tell his legionaries to simmer down and that "victory is its own revenge" instead of running off to kill some specific guys you hate. and then on the other side u have 'shadow captain maybe this isnt a good idea' 'shadow captain you will die' 'shadow captain ple-' and hes gone. hes already gone. hes jumping into his own death again. and shrike DOES HAVE corax's levelheadedness but theyre used to nefarious ends of him thinking about the stupid thing hes gonna do and then doing it anyway. hes using all of his traits from corax for silly things.

anyway sorry i think im done i might kill myself over the embarrassment of writing this later we'll see please dont laugh at me im a sensitive gay little emoboy and kayvaan shrike is my passion

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[juuheizou]

omggg I love angsty questions!! how do you think juuzou would be during and after a fight? which party would have to take the initiative to call the other to talk and sort things out? would he ever apologize first? what about mutsuki?

oooh and just so we dont lose ourselves on angst::: what were the main things thatmade juuzou fall in love with tooru? which one of them fell first and how does each one behave when secretly in love? which one confessed first?! (sorry for the bombload of questions I just love them sm😭🩷)

Thank you so much for the bombload of questions! No better way to make my day! Hopefully it's a good thing that my answers are bordering on stories of their own, because I don't see myself stopping that anytime soon.

how do you think juuzou would be during and after a fight? which party would have to take the initiative to call the other to talk and sort things out? would he ever apologize first? what about mutsuki?

Honestly, while they may disagree and argue like any couple, and rarely this might boil over into saying or doing something they regret, they don't really escalate to fighting. At most it takes that one thing they regret to be like “I just said/did something [bad parental figure/schoolyard bully/disrespectful coworker] would say/do to someone I care about” and stop the escalation in its tracks, and that's when it even gets that heated. I think, since angst is the name of the game, and there's an implication of revisiting the issue to sort it out, you want to talk about those things they regret when they do it to each other.

Just like he does in his conflicts with anyone else, Suzuya has two main ways of lashing out: the Seidou (immediate aggression) or the Marude (abandonment with the intention of getting back at him later). He would never hit, bite, or threaten Mutsuki like we've seen a younger him do to other people he fights with (without risk-aware consent, anyway ;) ). But although he's come that far, when he's hurt or upset or overwhelmed, he might start trying to release some of that emotion by throwing something at a wall or floor, hitting a nearby object, or pacing around hurting himself, like pulling his hair, thumping his head with his hands, or chewing on his finger stitches.

The first time he ever did something like that, he truly didn't even notice how it made Mutsuki flinch and shrink away from him and just kept going until he burned himself out and calmed down, but Mutsuki was still frozen after he came to his senses. Honestly, in his mind Mutsuki was thinking about ending their personal relationship then and there out of fear, but just thinking about not being close to him anymore was too painful to just bottle up his feelings and become a ghost to him once he had a chance like the scared child inside him thought about doing. Instead, he did something that terrified him and told Suzuya, small and vulnerable, “it scares me when you do that.”

Suzuya never wanted to scare Mutsuki and never ever wants to. He's gotten better at apologizing since the Owl Suppression Operation (doing so to the wife of the person who might not be in critical condition if you weren't so reckless is good practice) and this is one of the times where he apologizes first. He not only apologizes, but they hit pause on whatever they had started off arguing about and spend some time figuring out how not to scare Mutsuki like that again. Number one on the list is don't let disagreements turn into fights, for both of them.

This is not the same as his other regrettable way to handle an argument. As I've mentioned, Suzuya is capable of biding his time and getting even when he's upset. This holds true in a two-sided disagreement as well, and when he's heated he may storm off from the conversation and start thinking of how he's going to get even for whatever part of it upset him. Compared to self-injuring or hurting objects around him, this is deliberate, a bad choice he makes when he's mad rather than simply struggling to regulate big feelings without meaning to hurt Mutsuki. When he storms off just to blindside Mutsuki with a mean-spirited prank later, in the moment he does mean to hurt him for whatever he said.

In the aftermath of something he regrets, Suzuya might not always know what he's feeling or feel anything, but he knows he hurt Mutsuki, and that's enough for him. He wants to make it right, and, sometimes to a fault, won't stop trying to fix it until he sees Mutsuki smile. Sometimes Mutsuki needs to take the space to be hurt and Suzuya can't fix it, and he can't reliably discern when those times are, but if Mutsuki says “not now” or “leave me alone,” he will. In those cases, he resolves to do nice things from a distance so that at least Mutsuki can have nice things while he's hurt.

When it's Mutsuki who raises his voice or avoids him altogether for a time, which are his fatal flaws in an otherwise healthy disagreement, Suzuya is naturally pretty blunt. His most common response is to come to him, all small and vulnerable himself, like “did you really mean those things you yelled at me?” Sometimes his delivery isn't the best, but the answer is usually no, and it's good enough that they end up talking it out.

He would readily apologize first and take the initiative to sort out what they got heated about if/when he realizes he did something hurtful. As far as the sorting it out part, he'll be the one to do that a lot of the time even when it wasn't him who made it a fight, as he's not great at sitting with strong feelings without doing something about them. However, you won't see him apologize for something he didn't do wrong, even if he just doesn't realize he did something wrong yet.

Mutsuki's gut reaction to conflict and confrontation is to avoid it, bury it, pretend he's not feeling anything that would cause it to happen or that it didn't happen. However, he also cares just as deeply about Suzuya as Suzuya cares about him and loathes the idea of being the one who hurts anyone. While he might struggle to apologize right away, even if he knows he's the one who needs to, eventually the knowledge he's hurting Suzuya trumps even the fear and denial and when he does get up the guts to apologize, he does so profusely and is just as adamant about making it right beyond just an apology.

oooh and just so we dont lose ourselves on angst::: what were the main things thatmade juuzou fall in love with tooru? which one of them fell first and how does each one behave when secretly in love? which one confessed first?! (sorry for the bombload of questions I just love them sm?￰ﾟﾩﾷ)

The main thing that made Suzuya fall for Mutsuki is how he knows so much of the suffering that he knows, and yet he came out of it such a different person. He might not have been through all the same things, but as far as anyone Suzuya has ever come across in his new life, Mutsuki understands him. Because he understands, he accepts him, doesn't judge him for those remaining messy traces of his past that may never fully go away, doesn't want to play a part in his life that sees him trying to change him or fix him.

That said, their differences play just as much of a role in why Mutsuki is so special to him as their similarities. Where Suzuya is unprincipled and indifferent to a lot of horrible things, Mutsuki would sacrifice himself to save a complete stranger and wears a bleeding heart on his sleeve. Where Suzuya wants to see people die for looking at him sideways, Mutsuki will go out of his way for someone who isn't even nice to him. He might not understand it, but deep down Suzuya would never want to see him lose that. It amazes him, and when its extended to him, it makes him feel like he must have some goodness in him too, not unlike the way Shinohara used to make him feel with that same pure, unconditional kindness. With Mutsuki it shows up in a different way, but Suzuya knows it when he sees it.

Suzuya fell first. Prior to the Ghoul Auction, they didn't know each other well, not even being assigned to the same part of the city and all. That being said, I think their first time, maybe first few times, meeting each other happened before that. It wasn't anything big or plot-relevant (not even pretending that isn't my go-to excuse for every canonverse idea that only lives in my brain) but little things like Suzuya telling the most grateful new Rank Three ever where a particular conference room is and thinking “that one is going to get eaten alive” as said Rank Three bows and thanks him like three times before realizing how late they are to the meeting they were trying to find and bolting.

Then next time he consults on some fucked up gourmet ghoul-related case away from the 13th Ward, he's wrestling with a vending machine because his snack got stuck and suddenly someone shows up behind him, puts some money in, and buys the snack behind it so his finally falls into the opening, but even when both packets end up falling, they just give the second one to him too-- it's that overly polite Rank Three again. Mutsuki something. “That one is going to get eaten alive,” he thinks once again as they scurry off to whatever they were doing, once again. Maybe it's because Mutsuki rescued his snack, but a teeny tiny part of Suzuya feels something about that thought, now.

They don't see each other as much as they used to when they worked cases together, but the next time Suzuya goes over to the Chateau to annoy Haise, he runs into Mutsuki yet again. He's the only one of Haise's new squad who does as Haise asks and introduces himself to Suzuya, all meek and polite. Mutsuki takes this simple request a step further and welcomes Suzuya to the Chateau like some honored guest, even going as far as offering him something to eat or drink before he excuses himself to his room to leave Suzuya and the person he actually came over to see alone.. “That one is going to get eaten alive,” and by now Suzuya has some inkling that he doesn't like how that makes him feel.

As for how he behaves, Suzuya is pretty brutally honest unless he has a reason not to be, and at least in my mind it's hard to see him keeping his affection a secret from Mutsuki-- if he does that, how is he going to kiss Mutsuki? Delayed gratification is not his greatest strength, unless that gratification is Marude's motorcycle.

When they actually spend time together and naturally grow close in preparation for the Auction, he's shameless about asking Mutsuki to do fun stuff with him after a meeting, telling him how cute a face he makes when he's concentrating on a knife drill or even how much he really cares about nothing bad happening to him, putting his hands on him to correct his form or make adjustments to the disguise he's planning on wearing the night of. He would even kiss Mutsuki just to share a taste of whatever snack of his Mutsuki is eyeing like it's oversweetened poison or (at least offer to) touch him more intimately because he's bored or Mutsuki seems tense. They're together in a lot of ways without him thinking to say or label anything.

Mutsuki, on the other hand, keeps all kinds of things, important or not, to himself because he is prone to agonizing over how everything he thinks about saying or doing might blow up in his face, no matter how irrational. When he realized he too was fond of Suzuya and wanted to stay as close as they are leading up to the Auction after it's over, he was convinced Suzuya would not feel the same and hate him forever and shatter his heart if not his bones despite all the logical reasons to think otherwise. So while it can't totally be a secret that he likes Suzuya an awful lot when he's allowing all the above acts of affection and intimacy, it is kind of a secret that he wants the comfort of knowing Suzuya doesn't want it to end too, that they would both commit to the effort of seeing each other when they're not together all the time for their job.

Until he gathers his courage, he would go along with every extraneous activity Suzuya wants to do in their downtime, no matter how exhausted he is from the brutal training regimen of someone who feels no pain or how sick he is with fear after talking strategy over the gruesome case files and Suzuya's bonus firsthand knowledge of the ghouls they know will be at the Auction. He would never complain during those training sessions or strategy meetings and try so hard to do well because secretly, he really likes it when Suzuya is pleased with him. He would put every fraying fiber of his being into doing good by Suzuya because maybe if he does really good, Suzuya will want what he wants without him having to use his words and risk all the things his anxiety tells him will happen if he does.

Unfortunately for Mutsuki, that's just not going to work with Suzuya, and it's Mutsuki who confesses his feelings first. The reality of the Auction is setting in with a few days left and he's writing his will as we know investigators do before something like this. As scared as he is that he will make something bad happen by saying something, he ends up calling Suzuya. Initially they talk about change and fear and death and how afraid he still is to die, go missing, lose someone. It just kind of slips out that he's scared of not seeing Suzuya again, not just through death or capture, but even if they both come out okay and they grow apart once Suzuya goes back to his assignments in the 13th Ward that don't involve him. Once he starts, he can't stop, and just spills his guts about how badly he wants what they have now to stay and how much he cares about Suzuya, how he makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside, how much he likes even the most agonizing training drill because he's there. Needless to say, it goes over well.

[moonlit-ocs]

Carmen Kyle

Carmen - Lana Del Rey

self-explanatory, but i feel like this song just captures the bombshell essence of carmen on top of her very unconventional life. her beauty, her charisma, her life on the wrong side of the tracks, just everything about how appealing she is…

Knee Socks - Arctic Monkeys

this one is moreso a capture of her and dick’s relationship, i usually imagine it in the titans storyline, but not necessarily. reminiscent of old times and times that could be later as i feel they are “high school sweethearts” in a vigilante sense and come back to each other later on with some reluctance because they fear being hurt again. the specific line i relate their actual story with is “when you know who’s calling even though the number is blocked,” which would be the beginning of the titans show when dick calls carmen for help first when he meets rachel

House of Memories - Panic at the Disco

this is another sort of titans!carmen song that i think fits the feeling of returning to titans tower after the deathstroke incident destroyed the original titans. because she was happy and life was looking up for her, she was in a stable relationship, she had amazing friends, she was out of gotham, she wasn’t a criminal anymore, and when she returned all of that was gone and now she was in a much different dynamic with rachel and gar and dick. she was longing for that feeling again.

Out of Control - She Wants Revenge

happy-go-lucky carmen, carefree and willing to go where the night takes her. i can see her in clubs living it up and being the center of attention. i can also see her being mysterious and sitting in the corner staking out whatever she can swipe from a person before heading home for the night.

Siren 042 - Lala Lala, WHY?

ugh this song is honestly so melancholy and beautiful. it hurts me sometimes i can’t listen to it bc it reminds me of a time me and my bf nearly broke up but we’re doing just fine now. still. carmen begs for forgiveness for her criminal ways, she was raised that way and it’s hard for her and dick to see eye to eye on the subject. sometimes it gets to be too much.

Season 2, Episode 3 - Glass Animals

carmen is all about that elegant lifestyle, but she really loves to just be comfy and lazy like her cats. she enjoys laying on the couch, a bit stoned, and just chilling the day away.

Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

dick and carmen core theme. being young lovers and growing older is so hard i think they fall in and out of love a bit.

Time Moves Slow - BADBADNOTGOOD, Samuel T. Herring

another dick and carmen core theme. after the OG titans disband, dick and carmen go back to gotham together and slowly begin to fade, but its hard to leave that person you thought you couldn’t live without. dick ran away from her and regret it, carmen built walls to keep him out, he still watches from afar, she knows it. but now life feels pointless and the days feel the same. and she misses what it felt like to be cared for. so when she and dick reunite and go back to SF, she does take a look out of the window and wishes when she turned around, it was all just a dream.

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

DONT GO THERE CUZ YOU’LL NEVER RETURN. I KNOW YOU THINK OF ME WHEN YOU THINK OF HER. BUT THEN IT DONT MAKE SENSE WHEN YOURE TRYING HARD TO DO THE RIGHT THING BUT WITHOUT RECOMPENSE. AND THEN YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG AND YOU SA—

Sunday Morning - No Doubt

oooooh idk there is something so significant about this song and my OCs. but carmen and her relationships…i cant even pin who to pair her with here. “changing with no warning” is so significant to everyone. oh and the bridge: “youre not looking like you used to…i didn’t think you had it in you, and now youre looking like i used to!!!!” oh it hits. i imagine it flashing between her and selina but it sounds so violent because they have a great relationship. sometimes i think of her and dick because she was the raunchy one who went good and he was a good boy who gets a little raunchier (this can apply to titans if we wanna go the very violent route but the comics are just as good)

Short Skirt / Long Jacket - CAKE

her femme fatale anthem. this song is a play by play of her cat burglar lifestyle.

Calm Like You - The Last Shadow Puppets

“i can still remember when your city smelt exciting, i still get a whiff of that aroma now and then” gotham. “burglary and fireworks, the skies they were alighting, accidents and toffee drops and thinking on the train” robin and the stray. “oh he was young in the frost, no regard for the cost of saying his feelings in the moment they were felt” dick grayson you dog. “and if he was calm like you locked inside of the loops then he’d know full well that all he had to say was goodbye” first heartbreak baby.

My Body Is a Cage - Arcade Fire

the pressures of gotham that strain relationships <3

[carmen] [dg+ck]

(links to playlists added soon)

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

SO glad we are all enjoying this fucked up little lair style headcanon. it has the same vibes as certain horror stories so it gives me the idea perhaps eventually amity stops Properly Being There, like outsiders dont really... Know About It? you can get there, especially if you like drive there or something (OR... if youre in a tough spot and need help 👀 amity just attracts you) but it doesnt really show up on maps or the internet or anything anymore (1)

I always liked the idea that the GIW made efforts to keep Amity Park a hard to reach place

but I like this way better, Danny just hiding his little town away from the world, nobody will stumble here by accident, you need to be looking and you need to have good intentions

but instead of Amity fading from people's minds, I like the idea that word would spread about this secret little town eventually and there would be all sorts of people interested in finding it

some passionate paranormal investigators might be able to find their way in, but anyone looking for Amity in order to profit from or abuse its weirdness will keep finding themselves at dead ends and going in circles, or they just keep ending up at Elmerton

the people would realise this and Amity Park probably opens up a lot of shelters for people fleeing abusive homes, the local cops put out the word to bring in people in witness protection, the outside cops don't know why but their identities never get compromised there

this would also make it very interesting for the GIW, any agent who is still in the area cannot leave otherwise they will not be able to find their way back, they're stuck with the number of agents they have, and those numbers gradually dwindle as more agents succumb to the overwhelming unwelcome feelings the town gives off and quit their jobs

which is why the GIW have to start recruiting from Amity Park citizens, they don't have a lot of luck

something that also came to mind about this is actually a scene from Good Omens, when they find Adam's little neighbourhood and Aziraphale is immediately overwhelmed with an incredible sense of love

Danny loves his town, anyone who shows up who has any kind of psychic talent or a sense for the supernatural will always feel the benevolence of his hold on the town, and the peace it brings its people

the population gets smaller and more tight knit as unsavoury types start leaving, abusers and thieves and people who gaslight and manipulate and anyone who actively tries to hurt people, they're chilled to the bone with fear as long as they stay in this town

I could also imagine some well meaning people being absolutely terrified of Phantom's hold, like they can find their way into town because they too want to help and protect people, but they think this whole thing is spooky and terrifying, they think peoples free will is being taken from them and they're being coerced into staying and they want people to realise this and get out

but people can leave town, if they really want to, Phantom doesn't like it, but he won't stop them, because he doesn't want to hurt anyone or make them upset, but not many of the accepted people of Amity actually want to leave because, hey, this town is crime and theft free, the only cops left are actually good cops who don't do much more than deal with petty theft and vandalism by misguided kids (kids are rarely made to feel unwelcome, they still have time to learn)

the teachers actually care about their students, store managers and employers don't use and abuse their staff, the minimum wage is higher

and people are just nice to each other, community projects are huge, volunteer programs are always running campaigns to attract people who need help, some folks will leave town to help the homeless find their way to Amity, there's plenty of housing since the place is hard to find and a lot of people don't stick around (even some good hearted folks who move into town don't stay because it gives them the creeps)

but the downtrodden and vulnerable? they're given a fresh chance in a nice town with friendly people, a ton of education, housing and employment programs, and hardly any crime, of course they'll stick around, even if there's a hint of cultishness about the place, it's still so much nicer than anywhere else, and you can leave any time you want!

most people just don't want to

[shiggyscumrag]

All the right wrinkles

Pairings: Ejiro Kirishima x Chubby Female!Reader

Content Warning: Hinted Age Gap, thigh riding, orgasm denial, cum play if you squint, squirting, slight degrading, praise, daddy kink, light cussing, biting, possessive behavior, slightly more dominant reader towards the end but mostly soft dom!kiri.

A/n: KIRIHSIMA IS CLREALY AGED UP IN THIS STORY, I EVEN LIST THE AGES IN THE STORY AS WELL!! HE IS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 48 & 52 IN THIS STORY AND THE READER IS IN HER LATE 20'S!! yes yes dilf kiri, love me some dilf kiri. I think I got my first hate comment on here which is pretty fascinating, mostly funny though.

There was no denying that Kirishims was getting older. And with that age came less defined muscles, grey hairs, and wrinkles. To say the least he didnt like the fact that he was getting older, but there were bright sides of course, like you. He never really had time to date when he was younger due to his job and if he did it didn't last long. Something about him never being around or how he never spent time with them anymore. Well what did they expect he's the number 4 pro hero Red Riot, he barely has time for himself let alone a relationship. Now of course that doesn't mean he didnt care for them, no not at all. But then again none of them ever clicked either. Until he met you. Of course that wasnt until he was in his late 40's rocking the big old 48 years of life when he stumbled upon you at a local bar. He was celebrating his birthday with a couple of his pro hero buddies when a nice waitress came up to take their drink orders. And there you were, a nice plump busty drop dead gorgeous waitress right at their disposal. To say he was interested was an understatement, mans fell in love at first sight. You had a gorgeous laugh and a adorable smile. The way your hips swayed back and forth while you walked, and the way your boobs cupped over your bra when you leaned over to set down the drinks. He was entranced.

Denki teased him for having the biggest blush on his face when you left. And Bakugou made a couple slide remarks while Sero just laughed.

"Hey I mean if you like her why not ask her out? Unless an old geaser like you doesn't have any game left?" Bakugou slyly remarked, a drunken smirk plastered on his face. This was a challenge and kirishima never backed down from a challenge.

"Oh, you underestimate me bakubro!" He said while leaning back with a wide toothy grin. 

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

"Okay, I will." Kirishima said leaning forward with a sort of fire in his eyes. He was eager to prove that he's still got it and could pull you without even really trying. Of course there was a voice screaming in the back of his head saying "No dont do this! She wont want an old man, she's in her late 20's at most. She wont want an old cuck!" But he did it anyway under the peer pressure of his friends.

"Here's the other drinks you asked for gentlemen. Is there anything else I can get you tonight?" You asked setting down the 10th round they ordered.

"Um yeah actually, do you have any dessert here or can I just go ahead and take you home with me for later?"

The boys erupted into laughter. Maybe he was a little rusty after all. Supringlsy though you let out a soft giggle.

"No we don't have dessert, but lucky for you I get off in about thirty minutes. Maybe if your patient enough you could get a sweet treat?"

Holy shit.

"I could definitely wait all day for you sweet cheeks."

"Great then if you need me just holler, and if not then I'll see you in thirty, okay?"

"Of course princess." He said with a smirk

You then walked away peering back at him before disappearing into the back.

"Holy shit dude that actually worked?" Denki said laughing

Sero had tears running down his face from laughing so much while Bakugou just sat there smirking while shaking his head "You lucky bastard." He added.

Thirty or so minutes later you come waltzing out from the back and too their table. Cute as ever might he add.

"You ready princess?" He asked looking down at you

"As ready as I'll ever be." You said in return

"Great, let's head back to my place and have some dessert." He said while walking you out with his hand wrapped tightly around your waist.

It's been 4 years since that fateful birthday and now he's a whopping 52 years old, but it didn't effect him like previous birthday's. He actually enjoyed getting older with you and plus you gave amazing birthday gifts.

He was folding some laundry when he heard a crash of something coming from the dining room.

"Ejiro! I need your help!"

He rushed towards the dining room thinking he was gonna find you under a pile of pans or something. When in actuality he found a whole full course meal waiting for him with a sign sprawled up in the back exclaiming 'Happy Birthday Ejiro!' In your handwriting.

"Ah babe, this looks incredible!"

"Thank you but I just wanted to give you the best birthday possible! Wanted to show my appreciation for the great manly man I got!"

Kirishima didn't really know how to react honeslty. Of course he was happy and so grateful for such an amazing gift.

"Ejiro, you know I love you. There hasn't been a day that I haven't loved you and I don't think there ever will. So I wanted to try and show you in the way I best could." He couldnt believe he snagged such an amazing girl, plus a hot one at that. Boy you did look good in that apron. And those thigh thighs that hugged the fat of your thighs just perfectly, making them look so soft and squishy. And the way he could see down your shirt and get a peek at those nice bouncy tits of yours.

"I think there's an even better way you could show me." He said grabbing you and twirling you into him. His hands now rubbing up and down your waist while leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips. The heat building between you was blinding, pleasure mixing in making you feel even hotter. In the heat of the moment he then pressed you hard into the wall deepening the kiss. He pulled away first to look you in the eyes. The beautiful ruby like orbs always had you falling deeper in love with him. He grabbed you by chin and tilted you head to the side to give him easy access to leave many love bites and purple bruises trailing down to your collarbone.

"Eji, need you." You pleaded through broken pants.

"Being so selfish on my birthday? Guess I'll have to punish you for that huh?" He said walking to the couch and sitting you down on his thigh.

"If you can ride my thigh for 5 minutes without cumming I'll fuck you."

"But Eji that's not fair!"

"I think its plenty fair considering it's my birthday and you wanna be selfish. So get to ridin' sweet heart."

He started rutting your hips back and forth against his muscular thigh making you tremble under his touch. It felt so so good, you couldn't help the mewls falling from your lips.

"Feel good princess? Does daddy's thigh make you feel this way? Maybe you don't need my cock after all."

"No daddy! I want your cock please! Please daddy, I'll be a good girl!" You protested 

He kept a consistent pace, the pleasure was excruciatingly good. He expected you not to cum when he's pleasuring you this well?

"Daddy! Want to cum!" Desperate whines coming from you as his pace picked up.

"You'll have to be a good girl and wait to cum on my cock or you won't cum for the rest of the night, got it sweet cheeks?"

No fair. The next 5 minutes felt like an eternity. You nearly creamed yourself 3 times, your pants now soaked through.

"You did well princess! Plenty wet for me to just slip right in!"

"Eji, need you now!" You whined, nails digging into his shoulder blades. A pleasuring sting making his cock twitch.

"Okay, okay I'll give you what you want you brat." He stripped you of your shirt and shorts leaving you in your red lace set. "Did you wear this just for me princess?"

"Yes, I know you like it when I wear red. You always said it looked the best." You said face flushed

"You know your daddy so well, you really are my good girl. I'll fuck you nice and good okay?" He said positioning you over his tip, when you stopped him.

"Let me ride you daddy, it's your birthday so I shouldn't make you do everything."

"You don't have to princess-"

"But I want to! Please daddy?" You just begged him to ride his cock. YOU begged HIM to ride HIS cock. Best. Birthday. Ever.

"Okay princess, let me at least help you a little."

He pushed your panties to the side and he helped you slowly make your way down his girth. The stretch was a little more painful due to you not being prepped properly, but your slick made it easier. You let out a sinful moan as he bottomed out in you. He groaned as your walls squeezed around him.

"Are you trying to milk me already sweet cheeks?"

You started bouncing yourself at a steady pace, didnt want to tire yourself out yet. He let out a beautiful moan that had your walls fluttering. The sounds were down right pornographic, your slick leaking down onto his thighs as you started picking up the pace.

"Mhm, just like that princess." His grip on your waist tightening, definetly going to leave bruises. You loved when he praised you, it always made you so wet. You licked up his neck to his jawline and left some purple marks on the way.

"Purple always looked so good on you Ejiro. Mmmh so pretty." You said admiring his now purple neck. His face flushed at the praise, not used to being called pretty. He liked it, he liked it a lot. His hips bucked up into yours causing a whimper to come from you. You leaned up and bit his shoulder to muffle your moans, an animalistic groan coming from his throat from the painful pleasure.

"You love marking me don't you princess?"

"Have to- fuck- show other girls, y-your mine!" Broken pants coming from you as your to tired to form a cohesive sentence. He fucked you so good, he was for sure fucking you dumb. Hitting all the right spots and kissing all the right places. He chuckled at your statement. You really do love him.

"Cum with me princess. Then you'll be able to show everyone who you belong to." He said as he started pounding up into you. The string in your stomach was about to snap from the blinding pleasure. You couldnt help to quiet yourself from screaming his name, he just felt so good, and he didnt mind other people hearing how good he mad you feel. His neighbors will just have to suffer for now.

"Eji, I'm gonna cum!"

"Cum for me princess, cum on daddy's cock!" His hips started to stutter as he felt his end nearing. You couldnt hold it in anymore, you gushed around his cock as he pounded into you chasing his own release.

"Ah fuck princess, I'm gonna cum. Gonna fill you so good." He let out a loud moan as he bit into your neck drawing blood that now ran down your chest. You screamed from the pain and pleasure of your still sensitive cunt being plowed into. It felt like he was emptying every last drop of his seed into as he still pounded into you. A mix of yours and his cum now leaking down your trembling thighs, onto his, and finally down to the couch. You trembled in his arms, eyes half lidded and tired out.

"You still with me sweet cheeks?" You nodded in response, incapable of being able to form any words from your mouth. Throat sore and mind fucked dumb. He chuckled picking you up, cock still inside you as he made his way to the dining room. Both of your slick leaking onto the floor as you walked. He took a seat at the table making him a plate. He started eating humming with content.

"Its so good princess! You really are the best an old man could ever ask for!"

[tsumusamu]

nice receive [miya atsumu x fem!reader]

genre: fluff and (once again, a sad attempt at) humor

word count: 3.8k

summary: eight months into your relationship, atsumu takes you to meet his family. things don't go as planned, but of course, everything ends up alright in the end anyway. alternatively, miya atsumu adores you and his family thinks it's easy to see why.

warnings: uhhh implied sexual content at the end but it is like barely there ok

commission for @ muppetz (it wont let me tag for some reason ugh) thank you so much for commissioning me!

a/n: this ended up being way longer than the word count requested but that’s no one’s fault but my own because i dont know when to shut the FUCK up anyways i hope this one shot is enjoyable lol

content under the cut!

You literally never thought that you would ever end up in this situation.

"C'mon babe, why the long face? Ya nervous or somethin'?"

"No." You purse your lips, huffily averting your gaze from your boyfriend's smirking face.

"Ya don't needa be like that." Atsumu drapes an arm across your shoulder, pecking your forehead as a sort of reassurance. "No one could ever hate this cute face, after all." He accentuates his words by squishing your cheeks, drawing out a yelp of protest from you.

"If you keep talking like this, you're gonna jinx it, you know." Your words come out softer and more hesitant than intended, and you startled even yourself at how utterly anxious you sound.

"Yer gonna be fine. Trust me, I wouldn’t take just any random girl to meet my folks, and they’re well aware of that." Atsumu ruffles your hair.

"I just... I hope they're not..." You pause for a moment, trying to find the right word. "...Disappointed?" You grimace when your boyfriend suddenly throws his head back in such voracious laughter, that you swear you saw a few hysterical tears.

"Are ya jokin'?" he all but wheezes. "Yer the libero for the national volleyball team, for God's sake. If anythin', I'd be the disappointment here."

"'Tsumu — " you start, but he interrupts you by pulling you in for a comforting hug.

"Don't worry yer pretty head anymore, got it?" he murmurs into your ear. "Yer wonderful, and I couldn't be luckier to have ya. My parents are gonna love ya. Honest."

A small smile tugs at your lips as you reach around his back to hug him back. "I hope so."

A year ago, if someone had told you that you would end up having Miya Atsumu introduce you to his family as his girlfriend, you would've laughed until your ass fell off and your stomach ached like no tomorrow.

You had been absolutely overjoyed when you were chosen for the women's national volleyball team, and you were so eager to start playing with your new teammates that you had decided to attend the national team's training camp without hesitation despite your recent knee injury at the time. However, you completely overlooked the fact that you would be working with the men's team as well, which would've been completely fine... if not for Miya Atsumu.

When you first met Atsumu, he was the cocky, annoying little shit of a setter for the Japanese men's national volleyball team, someone who you were stuck training with for the next two weeks.

You still remember the first words he ever spoke to you.

"The hell are ya doin' there, lil libero? If yer not gonna be able to save the easiest ones, then ya might as well sub out."

You also remember the first thought you had about him.

'Prick.'

And the first words you spoke to him.

"Can't you look at this — " You had gestured angrily to the knee brace supporting you. "And take a fucking hint, or what?"

He had sent some unapologetic, biting words right back at you and that marked the beginning of the time you have had the utmost pleasure of knowing Miya Atsumu. The two of you had bickered rather relentlessly (not too unlike literal children, despite the both of you being well into your twenties) throughout the rest of the camp, and by the end, for some unknown reason through some unknown method, he ended up with your number.

He started texting you constantly, and as much as you tried to convince your foolish self that he was just a nuisance, you found yourself responding to his messages like an idiot anyway. Throughout the next few months, you learned that Atsumu was far more than just his overly confident demeanor; he's genuinely kind-hearted, down-to-earth, and actually kinda hilarious. And eventually — neither of you quite knew how — the two of you were staring across a table at each other in a fancy restaurant as if daring the other to blink and lose an unspoken game, on a first date that neither of you thought would go as well as it did.

A little over eight months into your happy and committed relationship, Atsumu suggested that the two of you go to his hometown in Hyogo for a weekend to visit his family. You had immediately agreed with his idea, excited to meet his parents and twin brother in person, but now that he's leading you out of your shared hotel room to go do just that, your stomach's knotting uncomfortably.

Atsumu's been nothing but supportive and comforting ever since you started showing that you're nervous to meet his family. He was always happy to provide a never-ending flow of cheesy words and warm hugs, but you're genuinely afraid of embarrassing yourself. You want to impress his family and not have them see you as undeserving of their son, who you truly care for from the bottom of your heart. Atsumu is your first long-term boyfriend, and you would jump off your roof if you managed to mess anything up during the visit to his folks.

The taxi ride to Atsumu's childhood home doesn't do much to soothe your nerves either, with you fiddling with your fingers the entire way through while Atsumu makes small talk with the driver. As the cab pulls up to the address that your boyfriend had provided earlier, you instinctively clench your fists so hard that you think you might bleed.

A look of alarm crosses Atsumu's face as he notices that you're still just as anxious as you were when you left the hotel earlier. He thought that the ride to his parents' house would give you some time to cool down, but that had clearly not been the case. His eyebrows furrow in concern as he reaches over to grab one of your hands in his, giving you a comforting squeeze.

"Just breathe, darlin'." He runs his thumb over the shallow nail marks embedded in your skin. "If it means anything to ya, my mom's a huge fan of yers. For real. I didn't tell ya this before, but she's especially excited to meet ya. Keeps yappin' to me askin' how I pulled ya." You flush.

"R-Really?" you stammer, wide-eyed.

"Really. Who wouldn't be a fan yers?" Atsumu grins, pecking your nose. "See, ya got nothin' to be worried about. Just chill out and be yerself, 'kay?" You nod, some of the tension releasing from your shoulders as Atsumu leads you out of the cab, hand still clutching yours.

You're feeling a little better now, though your thoughts are still running through your head at the pace of a mile a minute as you watch Atsumu pay the taxi driver and thank him for the ride. Atsumu's mother is my fan? Your ears start to heat up. I hope I can somehow live up to her expectations of me…

“Ma! We’re here!” Atsumu shouts at the top of lungs approximately one second after simultaneously ringing the doorbell and obnoxiously pounding on the door.

“Comin’, comin’, ya brat!” A feminine, yet strong voice hollers in return. You freeze on the spot, your mind going blank once again. It’s happening. It’s finally happening.

The door aggressively swings open, revealing a middle-aged woman wearing a pink apron and carrying a wooden spatula in her hand. Her dark hair is pulled into a bun away from her face and her eyes, the same chocolate brown as Atsumu’s, are gleaming with annoyance. She briefly glares at Atsumu for his rowdy entrance before her gaze catches onto you, and her entire face lights up with excitement.

“(L/N) (Y/N)! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“M-Mrs. Miya,” you stammer out, trying your best to smile but you’re sure it looked more like a wince. “It’s good to m-meet you t-too.”

"Aw, hey now. What happened to my feisty girl? It's not like ya to be so lame.” Atsumu lays his forearm on your head, effectively using you as an armrest. You jerk away, scowling.

“Shut the hell up, asshat,” you snap without thinking. About half a second later, regret slams into your body like a truck. Oh, shit. I just called my boyfriend an asshat in front of his mother. You were about to run off into the streets in utter embarrassment if not for Mrs. Miya letting out a hearty laugh way too similar to her son’s and linking arms with you.

“No need to look so scared, dear. I don’t bite. And it’s good to see that yer willin’ to put this brat in his place.”

“Ma!” Atsumu whines, pouting petulantly.

“Yer really losin’ out with him though, y’know,” Mrs. Miya whispers to you as she leads you into the house by your arm. “I’ve got another son; Atsumu’s twin. Osamu’s quite well-behaved. If yer just likin’ the looks, he would be the better option.” You can tell she’s joking by the merry twinkle in her eyes, but instead of humoring her you end up shaking your head with a quiet chuckle.

“I think Atsumu’s perfectly good for me.” The two of you pause to watch Atsumu practically sprint into the kitchen, and a few moments later there’s an agitated yell as proof that he was on his way to annoy his brother. You smile. “He makes me really happy, Mrs. Miya. You raised him well.”

“Aren’t ya just the sweetest thing?” Mrs. Miya coos at you, pinching your left cheek. “And so pretty too. I swear ya could probably clobber my brat at volleyball as well. You and yer teammate… ah, Miss Amanai? The two of you always caught my eye while I watched yer matches. Make sure ya let her know.”

You blush a little and thank her, making a mental note to tell Kanoka that. She’d probably find it extremely amusing, especially since she was the one who had given Atsumu your number in the first place (which, as you had found out months later, was because he had practically groveled at her feet multiple times. Dumbass.)

“Come meet my husband, (Y/N).” Mrs. Miya leads you into the living room, where an older, balding man with rimmed glasses is quietly flipping through a book. He gives a start upon hearing your entrance, clearing his throat and sitting up straight.

“Ah, hello!” Mr. Miya greets you. “I’ve heard a lot about you! From both Atsumu and the missus.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Miya.” You nod once in a respectful manner.

“It’s about time that he settled down with a nice girl. Make sure ya keep him in line though, got it, missy?”

“Of course I w — “ you start, but Mrs. Miya is already dragging you towards the kitchen. You smile apologetically at Mr. Miya, and he just laughs and waves.

“Osamu’s makin’ dinner right now. He is such a hardworkin’ and dedicated boy. Both of them are, really,” she rambles. “But Osamu sure can cook a mean meal. He and his twin always used to fight over who’s the better cook. But I betcha Atsumu hasn’t touched the stove since he left for university years ago.”

You debate telling her that Atsumu had made quite a decent meal for the two of you just last week to celebrate your eight-month anniversary (which you hadn’t even known he remembered), but before you can formulate the right words in your head you’re suddenly shoved in the path of an unfamiliar man. Well, not really unfamiliar. He has the same face as the boyfriend who you see every day, after all.

Miya Osamu is (as expected) the literal carbon copy of Atsumu; same strong eyebrows, same hooded eyes, same angular jawline. The only thing that easily sets them apart is his black, ruffled mess of hair in stark contrast with your boyfriend’s bleached blonde.

Mrs. Miya pulls Atsumu away from the two of you, demanding that he help her with some mundane task, leaving you and Osamu by yourselves in the kitchen.

An easy smile graces his lips as he sticks out his hand. “Hey, I’m Osamu. Honored to finally meet the famous (L/N) (Y/N).” You smile back, gripping his hand firmly and shaking.

“And I’m honored to meet the famous ‘Samu.” At your words, Osamu bursts out laughing.

“Man, I don’t really let a lot of people call me that, y’know? But if yer gonna be part of the family, you could be an exception.”

“F-Family?” You pause, your sudden confidence dissipating as fast as it had come.

“Naw, no pressure. Just sayin’.” Osamu casually continues with his task of shaping onigiri. “I can tell he really likes ya.” You raise your eyebrows in curiosity without entirely meaning to. “I mean, we’re twins, it’s like a sixth sense. And also he never shuts up about ya when we text or call.”

“I hope you’re hearing all good things?” you quip jokingly.

“Oh, for sure. If I didn’t know who you were I’d think that he’s talkin’ about the reincarnation of a goddess with the way he talks.”

“Seriously?” You snort, and Osamu just laughs.

“So I’d like to ask ya the favor of continuin’ to take care of him. Guy’s just a huge ass baby. I can obviously see that yer good for him, though. He wouldn’t have stayed for so long if he wasn’t serious.”

The two of you briefly glance at Atsumu helping his mother set the table. They’re currently debating over whether Atsumu should go back to his natural hair color and “Stop makin’ yer hair look like fuckin’ straw!”

“He is a huge ass baby,” you start seriously, causing Osamu to smirk. “But he’s an honest and good person, so I’m not too bothered. I’ll take care of him, promise.”

“Thanks.” Osamu sighs, glancing rather fondly in his brother’s direction. “He’s an asshole, but at least he’s a redeemable asshole. I’m glad he’s finally got someone around to take care of him. Makes us all feel a little more relieved since he’s away from home.”

You suddenly feel warm inside.

Atsumu had been right; you truly didn’t have anything to be afraid of. The Miyas have been nothing but kind and welcoming so far, and they even seem to already have a positive opinion of you.

“Can ya help me carry these to the table?” Osamu holds out a plate of freshly-made onigiri.

“Ah, sure!” you accept hurriedly, taking the plate from him with careful hands. You take slow, calculated steps towards the dining room; the last thing you want is to accidentally drop any of the food.

Atsumu and his parents are already waiting in the dining room, and they all look up at you expectantly as you approach them with the onigiri plate in hand.

“Why, thank you, dear!” Mrs. Miya chirps. “Helpin’ Osamu out! How sweet of ya — “

She’s cut off as disaster strikes.

You trip on your last step to the table, causing a single onigiri to tumble off the plate and towards the floor. Your mouth drops open wide as you practically slam the plate down on the table and in practical slow-motion, watch the onigiri plummet down, down, down —

Then you dive.

You dive towards the floor, in the same manner as you do when you’re digging for a volleyball.

And you catch the rice ball in one hand, laying flat on your stomach. You have a moment of mental celebration; yes, you caught the onigiri! Then you realize that you look like a fucking idiot as you lay face down with one hand extended and clutching a rice ball like it’s your lifeline.

There’s a few seconds of agonizing silence.

You want the earth to swallow you whole.

There’s no way that you could ever show your face in front of Atsumu’s family or even Atsumu himself now; God you’ve never been more embarrassed in your life, and over an onigiri too —

“Nice receive!” Atsumu suddenly bellows, clapping his hands boisterously. “(L/N) does it again!”

His brother, who’s standing a few feet behind you with a platter of chicken skewers, pumps his free fist into the air and joins in with a “Hell yeah!”

Mr. Miya starts laughing the same loud Miya laugh that you’ve heard way too many times today, and his sons soon follow suit. Shame is still flooding your body, but now you’re realizing just how ridiculous the whole situation is and you resist the urge to smile at your own stupidity. As soon as Mrs. Miya recovers from her initial surprise, she comes to help you up, and you can tell that she’s doing her best not to laugh as well.

“Are ya okay, dear?” she briefly inspects you for any sign of injury.

“All good here, Mrs. Miya.” You smile, genuinely and comfortably, as Atsumu comes behind you to wrap his arms around you and peck your cheek, still chuckling with a small note of pride. “All good.”

-

“See?” Atsumu’s smug as hell as the two of you enter the hotel elevator on your way up to your room. Osamu had dropped you off so there would be no need for another cab. “I told ya that they’d fuckin’ love ya.”

“Why’re you rubbing in something like this?” You scoff, dodging when he tries to pull you into a crushing hug.

“Because I was right.” He smirks. You roll your eyes to heaven.

“Well, you can’t blame me for being nervous! I still can’t believe that none of them got upset at me for diving for a rice ball at the dinner table.” You groan, hiding your face in your hands.

“Nah, why the hell would they? It was cool. Yer cool, Miss National Team Libero.” He laughs, reaching for you again and this time you let him bring you close to him. “Besides, like I said before, who could ever resist yer pretty lil face?”

“You’re a hopeless asshole.” You sigh, and Atsumu of course just chuckles, his laughter vibrating against your ear as you press yourself into his chest.

“I’m yer hopeless asshole.” He pecks the top of your head. “C’mon, babe. It’s our floor.”

You hadn’t realized how tired you are until the two of you enter your hotel room and you see the large, inviting bed. You practically jump onto it, burying your face into a pillow. “Goodnight…” you mumble sleepily.

“Ya gotta go shower and brush yer teeth first, idiot.” A pillow smacks you in the side of the head, and you leap up with a cry of surprise. “Damn, don’t be so loud, sweetheart. It’s late, y’know. Don’t wanna get a noise complaint like last night.” You turn bright red at the reminder.

“Shut u-up,” you retort. “I told you that we shouldn’t have tried to do it on the balcony.”

“It was fun, though, y’know! An experience. And ya sounded like you were enjoyin’ it, anyway.” He chucks another pillow at you, and you yelp as it nails you in the face. “Now get yer cute ass over here, we’re gonna shower.”

“You can’t make me.” You stubbornly lay back down and close your eyes, and you had peace for all but ten seconds before Atsumu’s plucking you off the bed and settling you into his arms bridal-style. Your eyes shoot open in shock and you flail desperately. “Put me down!”

“No can do. I’m not sleepin’ next to yer stinky self tonight, darlin’.” Atsumu laughs as you scowl.

“The floor’s always open for you,” you snap.

“Aw, yer no fun.” He steals a kiss from you in the blink of an eye; the only evidence of there being contact at all is a tingling feeling on your lips. You feel your heart melt just a little more.

“Fine. After we shower, we go straight to bed. Got it?”

“ And brush our teeth. Yer mornin’ breath is bad enough.” He lets out quite an unpleasant squawk when you smack him lightly in the shoulder. “Alright, sorry, sorry.”

“Is this just your excuse to see me naked?” you tease him as he sets you down on the bathroom counter before immediately removing his shirt to reveal his muscled torso. He grins wolfishly at you and shrugs.

“And if it is?” Atsumu’s eyes are zeroed in on the small hickey he had left right below your collarbone last night, which is now visible thanks to the way your shirt had rumpled after he had practically manhandled you into the bathroom.

“Well, I won’t complain.” You follow his gaze down to your neck, before glancing back up to meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow at him. “If you’re going to make it worth my time.”

About an hour later, the two of you are lying in bed together, effectively tuckered out and finally ready to sleep. Atsumu’s strong arms are wrapped tightly around you like a protective cocoon as you snuggle your face against his chest. The slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat rocks you towards dreamland, and all the worries from the past day are slipping away.

“Hey, ‘Tsumu,” you mumble against his chest. He grunts tiredly.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

There’s a small silence.

“...Thanks,” you finally say after a beat.

“Huh? For what?” he quips.

“For being patient with me today, even though I was so nervous. And for taking me to meet your family.” You crane your head to look up at him, contentment adorning your features. “I had a good time. I hope they don’t hate the idea of me coming around again sometime.”

Atsumu smiles that familiar smile, the smile filled with affection that others rarely get to see. His eyes are almost half-mooned with joy, his lips are curved up in genuine adoration, and his cheeks are flushed with color. You saw this smile for the first time when he set an incredibly low ball at training camp, earning the awe of everyone in the room, including yourself. Never did you think that you would ever have this expression of pure love aimed at you, nor did you think it would fill you with so much happiness every time you had the blessing of seeing it. He says nothing for a while, suddenly resorting to trailing kisses all over your face. You let him, closing your eyes peacefully as he showers you with his love, ending with one final peck to your nose.

“I'm sure they'd like to have you around again.”

And if Atsumu continues playing his cards right, he thinks there might be a possibility that in the next five or so years, you could truly become part of the family with a glittering ring on your finger.

Only time will tell if that possibility will ever come to fruition, but as you tilt your head up to give him one last kiss on the lips and whisper those three words to him, he knows for sure that he wants to continue building towards that future with you.

“I love you too.” He lets his eyes fall shut as well, before resting his chin atop your head and savoring the warmth of your body against his.

Only time will tell.

-

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[dreamkidddream]

Hello there! I totally agree Kunikida is soooo underrated!! one of the best BSD charatcters in my opinion! do you still take requests? if so, could you write a Kunikida story with Quote number 14 please? He deserves so much love, but if the requests are closed it's okay dont worry omg I understand you have many requests already! take care <3

Kunikida finally getting the love he deserves >>>>>>> literally anything else. This got a little shorter than usual so hope that’s okay. Thank you guys for requesting and liking my work 🥺💚💚 reader is gender neutral!

Prompt: “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.” with Kunikida!

You don’t know if you can do this.

“(Y/N) pl-please, just listen”, a harsh cough erupted from his throat. “I’ll-I’ll be okay, just please, you have to let me go.”

“Kunikida, you know I can’t do that! I won’t leave you! So please...”

His eyes were watery, hair disheveled, bags under his eyes, form shaking and barely standing. He looks like he’ll drop at any second, and you don’t know how much longer he has until he collapses...

“Get back in bed already! I told you that you have to sleep so you cannot go to work today. I already told Fukuzawa, and he said that it’s fine, so go get in the bed!”

Yeah you couldn’t do this. Kunikida, the man who never misses a day of work and who is determined not to, came down with a cold. His body would have been able to fight it off, but after working on this case nonstop for three straight days and cutting back on his sleep every night, his body gave out on him.

Good news: you and the President predicted that he would still try to come to work, so he asked you to stay home and stop him at all costs. Bad news: Kunikida is very determined to go to work, and has not stopped trying to leave the bed every time he wakes up from his naps.

“Please I’m...already late.”

“Kunikida, the day’s already over with and you need sleep.”

“But, I can’t just...abandon my work...the agency...what if-”

“Everything’s okay dear, just lay back down for me. Okay?” His forehead is burning up and he keeps fighting his sleep like a child. Despite how troublesome and stubborn he’s being, you couldn’t help that a little part of you was enjoying taking care of him. You don’t understand why he would be so embarrassed by this (I mean hello, you are his romantic partner after all) but this is Kunikida you’re talking about, so you’re not too surprised.

You know that he’ll be mortified when he remembers this- if he remembers this- but you don’t care.

Also, the fact that he’s acting so clingy and pretty much saying anything that’s on his mind the longer he’s awake isn’t helping his case either (and just making you enjoy this more and more).

“(Y/N)...why don’t you ever call me by my name?”

“Why, are my nicknames not good enough for you?” You were feeding him some homemade soup, making small talk and teasing him to try and keep him awake long enough to eat.

“No, I love it when you use them. But why don’t you ever use my name?”

You weren’t expecting that answer, but a half asleep Kunikida is an honest one, “I do call you by your name Kuni-”

“No. My first name.”

That’s...actually a good question. Why didn’t you call him by his first name? You’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but you’re just so used to calling him Kunikida that it hasn’t crossed your mind yet. Your relationship isn’t new per se, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable or make him feel like he has to do something that he’s not ready for. He does pretty much everything by his notebook, and what if he had it written down when he wants to bring this up? Maybe you’re overthinking it-

“(Y/N), call me...call me Doppo. Please.”

“You sure? Maybe we should wait to talk about this late-”

“I’m sure.”

He gazed at you with so much sincerity in his eyes, his hand laying on top of yours before sliding under to hold it. “I don’t want- I don’t want to wait any longer.”

You could only smile, and lightly squeeze his hand, “Okay, Ku- Doppo.”

You don’t recall ever seeing a smile so bright on his face before, but you wished it happened more often. It just brings a sort of glow to him, one that really suits him. “It’s late, and you need to get some sleep. Call me if you need anything-”

“W-wait!”

You hoped he wasn’t trying to fight his sleep again, “Yeah?”

“Can”, his face was flushed, and not just from his cold. “Can you...c-can you stay the night?” He tighten his hold on you, so scared that you’ll disappear forever if he dares let go. “Only if you’re okay with that, of course!”

Ever the gentleman even when he’s sleep deprived, you couldn’t stop the giggles from escaping your lips. You weren’t leaving anyway, but it was still sweet. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.” He was about to protest that he’s not cute (you’re the cute one, not him!), but he stopped after you brought the blanket over him and took his glasses off his face. “Let me go get changed, and I’ll be back, I promise.”

He heard the door click and felt his head land on the pillows below. He couldn’t believe that someone like you wanted to be with him. Someone so kind, so caring, someone that was so tender and compassionate with him. Words alone can’t describe just how...breathtaking you really are.

It’s no wonder he became so smitten with you.

He could feel his eyes drooping, but he didn’t want to go to sleep yet, he had to wait until he saw you again! You still had to come back, you said you would-

The door clicked open, and you came back changed with your own set of blankets and pillows. You aren’t shocked to see that he’s barely awake, his eyes slid closed with a smile on his face. “You came back...”

“Of course I did, I said I would didn’t I? Now”, you already laid your blankets out on the floor. You would sleep in the same bed, but you two being sick wouldn’t help the situation (as much as you wanted to cuddle, his health comes first). “Goodnight Doppo.”

A yawn left his mouth, “Goodnight (Y/N)...thank you for...everything.”

If you strained your ears hard enough, you could have sworn that you heard him uttered that he loves you, but either way, you fell asleep content.

—-

Kunikida woke up feeling refreshed and clear minded, not having that sluggish feeling anymore. He doesn’t remember parts of yesterday, and the parts that he does remember feels like a dream (were you really calling him by his first name now? Something that he’s been wanting for forever it seemed). He reached over for his notebook, but he felt something holding his hand, or really, holding his pinky.

Looking down, he saw you, his lover, sleeping on the floor, your pinky interlocked with his. He would have yelled at you for sleeping on the floor, but you looked so peaceful and he didn’t want to disturb you. All he could do is shake his head, “You fool.” His words held no bite, and he had a smile gracing his face.

He picked you up and put you on the other side of his bed (the one that you’ll hopefully be sleeping in by his side more and more), making sure not to wake you up in the process. Looking at his notebook, he’s already behind schedule on making breakfast, and he has to make sure that everything else happens on time.

Today is all about you, and it’s the day that he’s been planning on for a long time.

It’s the day that he plans on being the first to say that he loves you after all, and everything needs to be perfect. It’s for you, after all.

[keroseneinhalers]

my favorite part of warrior cats is the grotesque story of squirrelflight, ashfur, and the extended cast of cats that sound like they came out of an ajj song

this gal named squirrelflight flirts with a guy named ashfur a few times. typical 80s romance song. its quick, its fleeting. squirrelflight gets together with brambleclaw. its all real lovely. brambleclaw gets promoted to leader after squirrelflights dad goes into retirement and makes his deputy the chief. brambleclaw is now bramblestar

(before the promotion and after the marriage, brambleclaw leads the entire 4 clans to a new territory. not relevant. he also stabs his brother in the neck with a tent stake)

and then squirrelflights sister leafpool, who is a medicine cat and sworn into celibacy, has sex with a guy from windclan named crowfeather. this is something all the cats are sworn not to do. double illegal.

crowfeather is a bit of a whore because he was previously in love with another girl who went on a magical journey with him when he was a child. (brambleclaw was there for that too. brambleclaw is eternal and everywhere) the girl crowfeather was in love with got impaled by a falling stalagmite while protecting a tribe of savage feral cats with names very similar to english translations of a few native american names i know. interesting. racist? there was a mountain lion involved

yeah so they have sex and leafpool gets pregnant. but since she did two crimes in one she gives the kids to squirrelflight and pretends they belong to her and brambelstar. theres an uncomfortable birthing scene because the kids decided to emerge from her cat uterus in the middle of a snowstorm. this is very telling of their characters after birth

theres three kids. jayfeather lionblaze and hollyleaf. jayfeather is very angry. lionblaze is angry but in a brave way. hollyleaf loves rules. they are a legendary trio

theres a thing about superpowers, and a prophecy or something. jay is sickly and blind and can see peoples thoughts. lionblaze never loses any fights, ever, and he maims ashfur a little while theyre trianing. hollyleaf doesnt have any powers, but she is absolutely obsessed with the warrior code and gets caught up with a guy named sol who says the world is gonna end. none of this is relevant except the "bootlicker hollyleaf" thing

ashfur is stewing. ashfur has been stewing for years now. long enough that they literally brought all 4 clans across the continent to a new territory kind of stewing. hes lonely. he misses the girl he was madly in love with, and shes married to the coolest guy in town. hes in agony. (over in windclan, crowfeather has a new girlfriend. manwhoring as long as he lives)

theres a big fire. thunderclans entire territory sets on fire. everyone is escaping, except for squirrelflight and her three kids. jayfeather, lionblaze, and hollyleaf, who is contemplating becoming an antivaxxer or something

imagine this: a clearing on the edge of a pit. the pit is where the cats live. everything is on fire around this clearing. there is one log running across the clearing, and squirreflight and her fake kids are going along it to escape. theyre the last out

ashfur appears he stands at the other end of the log. hes pissed. hes crying. he hates squirrelflight. he hates her so much. his rage is all consuming, like the fire that burns around them. he says he wants her in as much pain as possible, and he knows how: taking the only thing she loves in this world. her 3 kids

we all know something ashfur doesnt. the kids arent hers. squirrelflight, though non an omnipresence, is gifted with this knowledge herself.. she sees ashfurs twisted evil mind and tells him, flat out that they arent hers. she doesnt love them. he can kill them, they mean nothing to her. they are, after all, just her sister leafpool's. why would she care for them?

ashfur is stunned. he gives up. he leaves. squirrelflight and her three kids leave. its a bit awkward. imagine the thanksgiving dinner table after a particularly bad argument. thats all this is really

anyways. hollyleaf is broken from this. shes the daughter of a medicine cat and a manwhore from a clan that only eats rabbits. she cant take it. much like ashfur, she snaps

there are these big clan meetings, once every month. everyone goes, except the old people and the dying people and the kids who just want juiceboxes and lunchables. thunderclan is heading out to the Meeting Island. they find a body in the river. surprise! its ashfur

they go on to the gathering despite finding the body of one of their finest, most mentally haunted warriors polluting the stream with the blood seeping out of his slit throat. the three kids are there. squirrelflight is there. leafpool is there. bramblestar is there

this story has very weird heathers energy to me. its there, but it isnt coherant. like a bad remix of 100 gecs, sort of. this part is no exception

hollyleaf runs up to the big tree the clan leaders stand on and monologue. shes not allowed to do this. perhaps the sense that she lost her identity with her illigitimate birth turned into something real, that the warrior code didnt matter anymore. perhaps she was just tired of being kind; she wanted to go apeshit

she confesses. to two things. number one - the muderder of ashfur. how tragic. number two - leafpool. leafpools affar with crowfeather. squirrelflights lies to her for her entire life. theres chaos. thunderclan is like stan twitter after a minecraft youtuber said something racist 8 years ago. the 3 other clans are trying desperately to get in on this drama. the hot tea of the hour if you will

hollyleaf says her share. she runs away. lionblaze and jayfeather chase after her all the way back to the thunderclan territory. she yells at them. she runs into a tunnel and gets crushed by rocks. thats the end. shes dead.

jk jk that was a lie shes alive and shes living in a huge cave system with a ghost cat. remember the native american coded mountain tribe? yeah, they had ancestors. the ancestors lived at the territory the 4 clans moved to after squirelflight flirted with ashfur and before she got together with bramblestar. they used to drown little kids in the tunnels. jayfeather is the entire reason why the ancestors moved to the mountains and became the racist mountain tribe. i wont explain the timeline of this, and i dont think i could if i tried

up above hollyleafs slowburn romance with a transparent cat, theres a new girl with superpowers. prophecy fulfilled yadda yadda. her sister is annoyed that she isnt #quirky and so she joins a fighting cult run by the cats in hell. i cannot stress this enough its literally every cat from the 50 some books before this who went to hell. they have an army of children. theyre training them. the sister kills one of her classmates and becomes equals with the hell cats. my second favorite plotline in the series

the hell cats come to the land of the living. the sister betrays them. theres a big battle, and its supposed to be the end of the series but you know theyre gonna continue it for at least 20 more books. (they did). hollyleaf appears, and i dont think its ever explained how or why. but shes back, and she joins the battle. everyones too busy with the literal hell cats to care much about some kid with a body count of 1 appearing randomly

hollyleaf fights a bit. she gets mauled to death. thats the end. its just over. she dies and she doesnt come back. rip to a queen

i think my biggest question besides why would someone create this ad continue to do so for fifty plus books, is how the fuck brambleclaw stabbed his brother with a tent stake when he literally doesn’t even have hands. what.

[shamylicious-blog]

omg guys woaah ok ok ok..iam beaten ! whats with you :D??! ok iam telling.puuh so um this is going to be long..so i hope you will enjoy :D sorry for my english first y know its not my first language. xD i do my best..ok lets START So my husband and I met when we were both 17 (2007). we got to know each other through a socail network called schülervz it was very popular in germany back in my schooldays. We were both members of a group there and really talked every day from that point onwards, without exceptions. into our group of friends also included someone I met through this group. a girl who has become my best friend all these years. the 3 of us were really inseparable, even if it was only over the internet. that didn’t matter. we were totally honest with each other.  a bond that was 100% trust based. we talked together for hours every day. my husband was a trainee at the time and i graduated in economics and administration. We’d never met until the day we got together. our friendship lasted from 2007 to 2009 june. we were really good friends.just friends. I could tell him when I was interested in someone he could do the same. everything was great. best friends forever you could say. then there was a point in our lives where everything has changed all of a sudden.

one day he called me during the break and said that there was a girl at his work who asked him for a date. From that moment onwards everything went haywire for me. I got very nervous. although he talked to me about girls earlier and everything was totally normal. but that day nothing was normal anymore. i actually got angry..and yes i was jealous and i dont even know exactly why. He told me his story and I asked quite normally, because I’m a damn good friend, who she is and what she is like and if he needs help … (how stupid to offer help with something like that :)) well he just said that hell think about it and that he can do it all byhimself he just wanted me to know. we hung up and my whole day was covered by dark clouds. but we talked normally as usual. A few days passed and I knew that he was still in contact with her. After all, they work together. I couldn’t get rid of the thought that he would one day have a girlfriend. I got really sad. totally normal when people get together. But somehow I don’t like it at all. I didn’t get jealous because someone might be there, I got jealous because i still didn’t have the opportunity to see him for real. everyone else around him could really see him, but I couldn’t and that really messed me up at the time. he lived over 300km away from me. and for us it was a lot of stretch back then. we couldn’t just meet and hang out like others did. 

well at some point i realized that i couldn’t get him out of my head. I fell in love (wow very unexpected) but i still acted like a normal good friend .. because he had someone else to talk to. 

a few weeks passed and we didn’t talk as often as before .. everything changed suddenly and I couldn’t do anything about my broken heart. and I did something really stupid and started talking to someone else. He was from my school at the time and at first it was just normal conversations and then I noticed that he was more interested in me and I just played along because I thought that maybe I could forget him like this. i met with this boy. I also got along very well with him, he was really very nice .. at least at the beginning. One evening my (husband) called me and we talked normally. I also told him that I started meeting someone and he was quite astonished because up until then we hadn’t had the opportunity to talk very often. he was very suspicious. He kept asking me  something like ‘what’s his name how old. is he nice to you, give me his number, i want to talk to him etc. ’ very overprotective but that’s his way. no matter who it is. of course I didn’t allow him to talk to him. after all, its not his business. he himself has someone so why panic. He was then very offended and just said I should be careful and abruptly hung up. (back then I just thought idiot) well it passed about 3 weeks after this talk. i was still in some kind of relationship with this other boy..I say sort of because i couldn’t really warm up myself even though i liked him a lot .. and at this moment where I really wanted to try harder to like him more .. he came and said that he was going to break up. he had found someone who suits him better. i was really at the end ..

 a few days later i got up and my (husband) called me he just wanted to talk after 3 weeks without having spoken a word. he just wanted to talk. I was so mad at him. I cried on the phone and asked him what the problem of men is and whether everyone is so stupid. he himself was totally scared and wanted to know what was happening and I told everything and he got very, very damn angry but he couldn’t do much. and I was exhausted. I just think that I had to cry once. he tried to comfort me but how much comfort is there over the phone. Then suddenly it became quiet and all at once he cried out and said. ’ I’m coming to you.’I thought I wasn’t listening properly. he said that it is finally time that we meet and hang out .. I was totally speechless but totally happy to finally see my best friend for real. we chatted and then planned when and where we could meet. we have agreed that we will meet at my school on the weekend.

2 days left. it got so nervous and the most surprising thing was that it was snowing like crazy on that day … It was in the middle of March and it was snowing heavily. I was totally sad and didn’t know if he would make it with the car .. Such a damn long way and then also snow I panicked. accidents can happen. but he called me constantly during the drive to keep me up to date. In the afternoon I went to school of course everything was quiet (weekend) he called again and said that he would be there in 5 minutes. I couldn’t keep my nerves bare. what should i do ?? a good friend and just hang out together or say what’s on my mind ?? before I could think to the end I saw how he drove around the corner and parked in the school parking lot. my legs wouldn’t go. he got out and he had already seen me from afar and he just grinned with joy. I couldn’t help but grin like a goofy I went up to him and we just said hello, no hugging, nothing (he is to gentlemen xD without permission he wouldn’t lift a finger) but just to see his face in real life was totally enough for me. we decided for a little walk i just showed him my school. and after 2 hours of chatting we arrived at his car and i knew that he would have to leave soon. a long way after all. we just stood there and I didn’t want him to leave without really talking. At the moment when I wanted to say something he started to talk and he apologized for the time he was not with me where I could have needed him. I was totally surprised and started to feel my tears. he was totally confused and tried to calm me down and wiped my tears away (the moment he touched me for the first time, he was also shocked by his behavior could see it and he tried to apologize for touching me) I couldn’t take it anymore, I burst and practically explode. I took my courage together and shouted ‘I LOVE YOU, YOU İDİOT!' 

when i was aware of what i had done i blushed like a tomato .. and i was so mad at myself 'why did you do that he has somebody did you lose your mind what now?’ I couldn’t look at him he himself seemed to be in shock because I hadn’t heard nothing from him.. a few moments later I only heard a sob. when i looked up i actually saw him start crying..I was totally confused. what’s going on now ?! did I miss something. when I wanted to say something he stopped me and yelled back in my face: 'why !? why did you say this?! you spoiled everything! I had to be the one who made this confession first? !! your timing is really bad! damned!’ did I hear correctly he wanted to say it first? so he loves me too ?! I couldn’t tell how happy or sad I was at that moment .. And to be honest, I didn’t have the strength for anything either. I could have just lay in the snow and fell asleep. after a few minutes of silence he was caught and I just stared. he looked at me with a grin this time and then he confessed. every word, i remember everything he said 

‘You know, the day this girl asked me out on a date, you were the one who shot me right in the head. I didn’t know why , but I felt like I was doing you wrong. even if we had never seen each other in real life, I knew that you are everything to me .. even if it’s only as a good friend. and that evening I canceled this girl … the days after that when I wasn’t so talkative with you, was the time when i had to think about everything. maybe i hurt you with it but i just needed the time. and then when we talk again and I wanted to tell you everything you said that you met someone. I thought I wasn’t hearing right I was so angry and disappointed about myself that I just hung up and didn’t want to hear anything more from you..but somehow it didn’t work.I immediately missed your funny , sweet voice. I wanted to call again and apologize . but my hand didn’t want to. the time passed and when we could still talk. I couldn’t help myself anymore, I finally had to see you. from that moment i knew that it could only be you .i couldn’t help but want you. the thought that you would marry someone and that I would be invited as your 'best friend’ … to see you with someone else that would be my end. I had to act quickly and finally meet you. and you are here now and you stood there even though I wanted to do it first … you are really nasty. ’ he just grinned .. and I couldn’t help but laugh along I really wanted to hear it .and told him to say it .. when he stood there and looked at me, he asked me ’miss nasty ..i love you so much..do you want to be my everything?’ I couldn’t help myself and I was wrapped around his neck and we hugged each other so tightly that I hardly got air but it didn’t matter .I was so happy I just cried and so did he … well after that we took our time .. we got to know each other better i finished my school he finished his education our parents got to know each other and in april 2014 we got engaged and got married in the same year at the beginning of november and now we are happy with ourselves and our daughter. 

so thats it here you have it :D it may seem very normal ,cliche, but it was everything to me back than the struggle was real friends..and i treasure every single moment with him..

see ya :)

[nyan-koii]

Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players

aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update

PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen 

Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch

"Fck this game, i've had enough,"

"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"

Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"

"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"

His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see

"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"

Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far

"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"

"I think i get your fav character?"

"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"

"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"

Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long

"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"

"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"

"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"

"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"

"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"

!!!!

It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it

Type of player

Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner

Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month

"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully

He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!

He's very lucky. Very

Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.

'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'

'I want to be like him'

Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home

"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish

"not NOW!!" Clicks

The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.

Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.

"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"

He will be a c6 bennett haver!!

Type of player :

Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.

Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.

Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.

Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.

He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.

Everyone loves his teapot

Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real

"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"

"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"

"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"

"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"

'Bp?'

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies

"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"

She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon

"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"

"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"

Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."

Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly

"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS

Type of player :

Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going

She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka

Ayaka main btw

Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out

Fragile resin = 0

Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon

"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"

"But i cant,"

Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there

Only coops if mitsuri is there

"So that someone can calm me down,"

"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"

Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.

"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"

"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"

"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"

"Oh yeah i know,"

"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"

"i just know right after you told me,"

"...."

Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something

"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"

"But the next banner is zhongli's,"

"....."

"Ah fuck it," buys

My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists

"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"

That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person

"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears

Type of player :

Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants

Zhongli main

Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it

"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"

Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it

Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs

Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.

"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"

His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it

They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately

Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears

"Zhongli main forever,"

Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.

Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.

"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"

"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"

Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit

"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"

"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"

In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team

"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems

"Tengen, you should control yourself!"

"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"

"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops

Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.

"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"

"Who do you main uzui?"

"Beidou,"

Type of player

Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs

R5 every battle pass weapon

Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff

Mona wanter

Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery

Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs

Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers

Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down

Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it

In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"

Doesnt heals his characters

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

[ah-yes-paris]

beatles harmonies that cured my depression.

It is important that i discuss this. Well, not really important I just really wanted to share. This is in no particular order either it's just the ones that come to the top of my head lol. Feel free to reblog and share your own 😎

1. The "Woahoooah AHHHHH" from When I Get Home.

Not even words can describe the battery power that starts coursing through my veins when I hear this harmony. I cant even,....LIKE HELLO??? i have never heard such a blessing... Such a well-fitting triplet of voices singing a vowel thats made me feel like i can run 10 miles straight. They aren't real. The Beatles, of course. To this day I don't understand how this harmony exists in this universe. My ears melt everytime. One of my favorites, in case you couldn't tell.

2. The obvious.. "yeah yeah yeah YEAHH" from She Loves You :)

LET ME TELL YOU. oh my god let me tell yo u .. Way back when, when I was a new fan... Good lord. I was literally ascending. ASCENDING. i felt every inch of my body start to lift off the ground. Im sure im not the only one who's experienced this. I remember thinking 'how the wiggle wubble do 3 men sound so GOOD TOGETHER' IT DOES NOT ADD UP PEOPLE THE BEATLES HAVE TO BE SOME SORT OF ROBOTIC BOY BAND GROWN IN A LAB THIS ISNT POSSIBLE how do we live on the same dimensional plane that this harmony lives on..

3. "The magical mystery tour, is coming to take you away, Coming to take you away!" from Magical Mystery Tour.

...

guys. Guys you dont understand. This one line, adds, YEARS. LITERAL YEARS TO MY LIFE SPAN. At this point I am fully immortal. The "coming to take you awayyy" makes my heart POUND. i love this song so much... And this line especially... It makes me go insane. Basically the beatles are manic melody genuises that have successfully spread one of the biggest diseases in musical history. Personally, I think this line was a clear example of why.

4. "Last night I said these words to my girl", "Please pleaase me, oh yeah, like i please you...", "...With you! Oh yeah, why do you make me blue" from Please Please Me.

do i even have to say anything. Well, i dont but i will for the sake of the post. There is so much. So much. About this song that I. I cant even,,. I would choose this song over SO MANY BEATLES SONGS DUDE. not that its cause i think its better than all the others but it just holds such a special place in my heart. Its the only song thats Ever made me feel some intense wave of nostalgia for a decade i wasnt even born in. Its one of the songs that continue to make me question the beatles existance. How could something like this ever come to reality. My brain has never been so pleased in its life.

5. "Carve your number on my wall and maybe you will get a call from me" from If I Needed Someone.

The way that this song was added into my Liked playlist SO QUICKLY...... God. I love george. Hes my favorite after all. Rubber Soul as a whole makes me feel warm inside but this song and this one line just hits so much more intensely for some reason... Their voices just flow insanely well and I just DONT UNDERSTAND HOW. its like an angel choir making its way through the clouds as you see the gate to heaven start to appear. Wonderful song and mind-blowing harmony... The beat is so good too and i just explode.

6. The "ahhhhh Ahhhhh AHhhhh *inhale* AHHHhhhh AHHHHH *inhale* AHHHHHH" from Day Tripper.

HOLY JESUS CHIRST THIS SONG HAS SO MUCH TO UNPACK... There are undeniably A BUNCH of other flawless harmonies in this song but my god the beatles knew what they were doing. Thats all I'm going to say really.... But once again. Power. In my veins. A few listens to this song and you'll find yourself having the strength of 1,000 men.

7. "Oh, now", "All I want is you" from Dig a Pony.

FIRST LYRIC... ITS LITERALLY 2 WORDS AND YET IT CONTINUES TO BLOW MY MIND. Something about the "Oh" ...... Its like an arrow passing through my heart I dont even know guys. Im not lying when I say it makes me feel like im floating. It makes me feel like i can quite literally grow wings and fling myself towards the sun. Dont even get me started on "All I want is you".......it literally triples the effect. It makes me go ballistic. The song is just mindless lyrics but the harmonieeesss.....

8. "Ah girlll.... *inhaeahelrlsseeesh* Girrll...." from Girl.

no words. Like. No words. I cant even. I seriously dont need to explain this one. Im just going to drop the isolated vocals version because if you havent listened to it you are MISSING OUT... you thought the originally recorded song was the greatest cause of your heart palpitations? Well you thought WRONG.

THIS IS.

9. "I love youwoowooowoowoooo...", "ask me WHYY..", "I can't believe.. Its happened to MEeee", "i cant concieve *doo doo doo do doo* of anymore *dun dun dun* MISERY" from Ask Me Why.

GOD OK LISTEN im just gonna say this now i absolutely adore and favor the please please me album so much i dont care what anyone says ok im such a sucker for their early sappy love songs ITS SO MANY GOOD HARMONIES ESPECIALLY FROM THIS ONE. MY GOD i listen to this and i feel like im with a lover late at night and we're like at one or the others house keeping each other warm and being all romantic and happy. Specifically the part that goes "ask me whyy I say i love you.. (OOOOHHHOOOO) and im always thinking of youuhoohohoo..." LIKE COME ON PLEAEE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM INSIDE AND I SMILE IN AN INSTANT GOD I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. Whenever i think im sad i go "no im not because Please Please Me." And its like all the sudden everything im sad about just poof disappears!

10. "If theres anything that you want.. IF THERES ANYTHING I CAN DOOOO" from From Me To You.

I am so in love with this song you guys i have no idea I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT HAS THIS LITTLE SWING TO IT SPECIFICALLY BETWEEN THESE 2 LINES THAT MY BRAIN SEEKS FOR NEARLY EVERY DAY. the amount of blessing i get from this song is more than i can comprehend its literally insane i cant even. How does someone do this how did the beatles make music guys I am seriously so dumbfounded like they just sat there and wrote banger after banger like WHAT. this song makes me believe that life isnt as horrible as it seems and if im lucky enough i can just sing and dance to this song for all of eternity. There are also so many other good harmonies in this one as well...

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In conclusion the beatles have had a chokehold on me for 3 years but I mean their stupid groundbreaking songs keep drawing me back in so.... This has also made me come to the conclusion that the Beatles simply arent real because I still dont believe a band can not only write consistent hits, but also harmonize in a way that causes me to spin around while doing backflips.

Thank you for your time.