#i dont like to use js when i dont need to...

[subarashiihibi]

i've already written about these quotes in my own drrr novel notes but i have to post about it here too just because i need to speak about it again but

narita describing izaya as 'very difficult to grasp or classify' here in his first real appearance and introduction is so UGHHHHH it's so fucking good. izaya is like an enigma and he is so complex and he's got all these things going on with him that all work to make him so so so beautiful and so i just really like that narita worded it like that. i love to observe izaya like he's a specimen under the microscope.

the other things i highlighted were also very important to me i think the 'anything that wasn't himself' is also a good glimpse into izaya's personality and the way his mind works. 'equally pleasant face' i just like that one cause i like when they call him beautiful in the story . <3

this also made me feel like i was going to ascend from my couch first time i reread it a while back. how interesting is it that narita describes mikado's feeling as though his 'entire existence would be denied' by the very man who so obviously struggles with facing his own humanity and instead chooses to see himself as an omnipotent figure. i just idk i'm not even going to try and get further into it bc i'm already like just feeling like i need to start rolling around and pulling my hair out but my god i love izaya orihara so much he truly is the goat he is MY goat 🙏🙏🙏

[chiistarri]

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

[blackeyed-daisy]

why is it that the people who claim to be the best at communication are always the most god awful fucking worst at it. there's been so many times where I've talked to a "good communicator" who just straight up fucking lies to me about how they feel or who interprets the completely wrong thing from what I said and insists their interpretation must be correct and I must be lying or who otherwise is just never actually explicit about anything they say and keeps playing fucking games in every conversation and makes it your problem when you can't play along

I've never met someone who claims they're good at communication who's actually good at it

[c0llisiion]

★ smut , chan x reader , degradation , overstimulation

★ w/c: 523

Chan was very cocky about pulling countless orgasms out of you. Too cocky. He would boast about how every time you came, be it using his mouth, fingers, or his colossal cock, his ego would get inflated. 

And you couldn’t handle hearing that anymore since it hurt your ego. And so you decided to teach him a lesson. One that would crumble his high and mighty ego by faking your orgasm. It was the most perfect plan to make him finally shut up. 

Or so you would think. 

Chan looked at you confused. His thrusts halting and his grip on your waist tightening. 

You let out the fakest moan not even a few minutes in, and Chan caught onto that easily. 

That wasn’t the way you moaned at all. That wasn’t even the way your body reacted when he pulled an orgasm out of you. 

“Did you just-?” He asked, slightly offended. You pretend to catch your breath and mirror his confusion. 

“Did I what?” You play coy. 

Chan huffed and shook his head. “Dont play dumb with me y/n.” He pulled his cock out, earning a small whine from you. He leaned over your body, one of his hand next to your head, making sure he doesn’t fall on you. 

“Im not ch-“ Before you could reply, you felt 2 thick fingers plunge into your hole, making you groan loudly. 

His fingers started fucking in and out of you fast. Rough thumb drew circles on your poor clit. “Wanna fake your orgasm? I'm going to pull a hundred out of you.” He growled against your ear.

He moaned and gripped his wrist. “C-chan.. ffffuckkk…” His fingers penetrated your gushy walls. Your pussy was getting so wet, to the point it was audible. 

“If you wanna fake it, make it believable.” His fingers curled into your g-spot. Your stomach caved in, and it felt like air got sucked out of your body.

“Dumb whore.” At his vile words, you couldn’t help but find your first release. Your pussy spasmed and clenched around his fingers as milky white liquid gushed out of your hole. 

Chan smirked against your shoulder. “Just like that. You’re such a dumb slut. You really think you can fool me?” He presses his thumb against your clit, making you moan out pornographically. 

You stared into his eyes with your glassy ones as he pulled another orgasm out of you. His fingers continuing their relentless assault on your sensitive pussy. 

You shook your head and whimpered. You were already tired from the two orgasms, but Chan wasn’t going to stop. If he wanted to pull a hundred orgasms out of you? He would. 

“What? too much? Too much for your little stupid brain to handle? Too much for your fucking pussy? Thought you didn’t like me fucking you? Isn't that why you faked it?” He asks tauntingly. 

You shake your head vigorously and mumble out soft ‘no’s’ and ‘please’. Your eyes brimming with tears and your thighs quivering. 

“I'm not gonna stop until I say. So I want you to be a good little girl and keep cumming for me. Understood?”

A/N: js a little Drabble to start off the last month :3 hope you like it! Send in your rqs! (Rlly need ideas huhu)

[unknownati]

vii. dreamin'

a/n: getting ekko high for the first time <333

i usually always see this fic the other way around but i js wanted to reverse it 🙌🏾 next few fics will prob be fluff to make up for my freakiness my fault yall

*typos do not exist to me anymore choosing peace ☮️🌿🌎 stay blessed hakuna matata

warnings/tags: black!fem!reader (again, just using aave but i usually have a black reader in mind 🤷🏾‍♀️), no physical description of reader, no use of y/n, slightly sub!ekko if you squint, modern!ekko, marijuana use, if the terms r wrong that's cuz i dont smoke im just a freak, shotgun kisses, contact high, hot boxing in the back of your car, grinding, riding, passionate asf, fluff and smut, ekko's in love with you real bad, ...breeding, this one's just nasty sorry guys 😕, also maybe a little ooc

______________________________________________

ekko gets high on the way you look when you smoke.

a blunt—a neatly packed backwood—between your glossy lips. watching the flame from your lighter dance around illuminate your features with a golden light. the frayed end catches, glowing briefly before dissipating as you take the first pull, the cloud of smoke swirling around you, it was a sight for sore eyes.

ekko always watches in silence, the thick vapor settling in his lungs. he's definitely gotten contact high before, feeling the edges of his muscles relax ever so slightly a few minutes after you spark up.

this time was no different, of course.

he’d planned the night with excitement, he always did after realizing he wasn’t taking you out as often as he’d like. monthly dates; something to make up for it. he had no doubt this one was the date of all dates.

this time, he hit you with the, “i know a spot,” but insisted it had to be your car. no question. you didn’t mind—not like you were driving, anyway.

the place he drove you to could only be described as breathtaking. you were parked perched on a cliff overlooking a lake, moonlight glittering off of the water. waterfalls cascaded in the distance, crashing down on the water in a gentle purr. twinkling fairy lights hung from the trees, casting a soft glow around the area. you gasped in fascination, the cutest, "there's more!" replacing your expression with a smile.

he clicked a button on the car fob, the trunk clicking open. your eyes widen upon finding a picnic was laid out in perfect simplicity.

"how'd you hide this from me?" you marvel, crawling into the trunk. ekko snickers.

"you don't carry anything to your trunk."

"is this why you needed my car?"

"yeah, your trunk's actually able to be sat in."

you pout in adoration. "you're so cute," you thank him with a peck to his cheek.

__________________________________________

nearing the end of the night, the two of you migrated to the backseat, r&b nearly whispering in the background. in your search for a phone charger, you found a half-smoked blunt on the ash tray in your car.

"look at god," you grinned, settling back down and tugging a cheetah-print lighter out of your pocket, igniting the burnt end. closed windows jail the smoke inside the car walls, so when you exhaled the smoke it immediately flooded his nostrils. he coughed, a light chuckle overlapping his sputters.

"sorry," you whispered half-heartedly, resting your wrist against your knee. you catch his gaze, the arch of your brow raising. "you want a hit?"

"what?" he croaked after a beat. your arm straightens to offer the blunt to him. "...nah, i don't even know how."

"you forreal?" you snicker. "...want me to teach you?" consideration; then hesitation. his lips twist. "you don't have to if you don't want to."

eventually, his shoulders raise and fall and he murmurs 'i'll try,' your body already excitedly scooting closer to him the moment he shrugged.

"yay! okay, so all you wanna do is jus'...relax 'n inhale. don't suck, inhale. slow and steady."

he nods, half-lidded eyes following your hand as you brought the blunt to his plump lips. you wished you could get that image permanently tattoo'd on your lids. ekko takes a moment to register your instructions and inhales, yet he bails last second, tearing it from his mouth and coughing into his elbow. you can see smoke exiting his nostrils in tendrils with each cough, though.

"you almost got it!" you laugh, proud.

"yeah but—" he gets interrupted by his cough, his brows furrowing. "the taste—"

"you can taste it?" you question, intrigued.

"i think?"

hearing the giggle that filled the walls of the car while you took the blunt back from him made embarrassing himself a little more worth it.

"you looked good as fuck though," you praise.

"did i really?"

"yeah, but when do you not?"

a cool chuckle leaves his lips. "you right."

silence falls between you for a moment before a lightbulb flickers alive in your head.

"got an idea," you announce, shifting your weight closer toward him again. you bring the blunt back to your lips, taking a long pull that almost makes you pass out. your free thumb presses into his lip, prying his lips ajar.

leaning into his space, you blew the smoke into his mouth. he completed the kiss, eyes fluttering closed. searching hands immediately found purchase on your waist to pull your weight into his lap. you grind down into him, coaxing a moan out of him that has immediately has you soaked, pushing down into him again and again.

blood immediately starts rushing down and up at the same time. his dick pokes at your thigh and you laugh, surprised at how quick you got him worked up.

his hands creep up your wielding wrist, tugging the backwood toward his lips.

"tryin' again?" your head tilts, hips not halting their slow winding movements. ekko nods, peeking down at your hand as he draws air in. withdrawing, his head leans back and smoke fogs around the two of you.

"you did it baby, good. fast learner."

the slow drawl of your voice seeped into his ears and directly into his bloodstream.

he started to understand why you smoked so often. the euphoric high was rushing to his head and making his breath hitch, yet he wasn't sure if it was from you or the weed. his hips push up to meet yours.

"i need you so bad," he gasps huskily, pawing at your top.

"shiiiit, that's all you had to say."

you tug your shirt off, shifting awkwardly as you remove your pants before settling back into his lap. he pulls off his shirt at the same time, both of your clothes discarded carelessly into the front seat. you lean down to avoid straining your neck against the roof, but the kiss lingers so long that it didn't seem to matter.

you shift in his lap, gliding closer towards his knees. your hands dance down from his shoulder, fingertips gliding along scar-riddled skin. the trail of white hair tracking down from his naval to the hem of his pants was tantalizing, a sight you don't think you'll ever grow sick of. you absentmindedly stick your hand in his boxers and tug his length out, closing your fist around the tip. his abs quiver when you stroke along it.

you both hold your breath as you lift your hips, a featherlight grasp on the base of the head guiding him towards your core. his weeping tip presses against your clit before sliding towards your entrance. eventually you're sinking down, slow, torturous. two relieved exhales spew out, a silent 'finally' from the both of you.

"y'feel so good, firefly." he murmurs, brows tightly knitted together as you relax on your knees. his hands cup the sides of your ass, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

you lean onto his shoulder, rising slow and falling hard.

"shit," you mewl, grinding your hips into him. his hands fly to your hips, his own unintentionally jerking up to meet yours halfway.

you take another hit of the blunt, transporting the smoke to ekko's mouth as you kiss him. the car rocks with your desperate movements, windows fogging.

when you pull away, his glassy eyes dart down to watch where you two connect. you grab his chin and make him face you.

"you're like a fuckin' angel," you punctuate your words with a shaky hand gliding up the back of his buzzed head, white locks tangling in between your digits. "wish i could stay like this forever."

he smiles, though you barely see it when your eyes screw shut. the tip of his dick hits a spot that sends a burst up your spine and you straighten up, your crown thunking against the car roof.

you hear an amused laugh and you scowl. his hand immediately presses against the back of your neck and pulls you down. your sweaty foreheads bump together, eye contact struggling to become a possibility when yours keep rolling back.

for a moment, time slows down. your fingers fumble, dropping your blunt on the rubber mat lining your car floor. your hand meets his chest and you bounce on him, hungered and impatient. whines and groans bounce off the windows, your unoccupied hand patting around to find ekko's hand. clammy fingers intertwine; you squeeze, tight.

"gonna cum, fuck—love you so fuckin' much," you whisper, warm breath tickling his nose. he flashes you a smile and a groan takes it's place. the hand that once graced the back of your neck moved and his arm wraps around your waist, chests pressing against each other.

"i love you too," he whispers back, pressing his lips your collarbone. that phrase was all you needed, your eyes squeezing shut, your tongue stuttering his name and chanting it like a prayer. your hips falter as you reach your climax.

after catching your breath, you push ekko's arm off of you and brace yourself on his shoulders. rise, fall, rise, fall; you find your pacing again to bring him to completion. your foreheads don't separate for a moment, except for when you kiss.

"i'm...fuck—" he can barely get his words out, his muscles a wobbly jello beneath his skin. "close, baby. i'm so close."

it's a warning, but you don't get off of him. you just ride him faster and his groans lace into whines, a trembling hand weakly tapping your thigh.

"fuck, baby i said—"

your walls tightly squeeze around him and you do nothing but stare at him. "i heard you."

he swears he felt his soul exit and reenter his body in those few moments.

his head tosses back against the headrest, struggling to keep his desperate moans contained as he releases inside you, warmth flooding your insides.

when he comes down from his (orgasmic) high, you still don't get off, feeling him slowly grow soft inside of you. your head weakly falls onto his shoulder.

"...i'm tired," he comments.

"i'm hungry," you emphasize, twisting a loc between your fingers. he chuckles; you just ate. you're not joking.

after a moment of silence, which you presume is from him thinking, you hear him speak up. "you ARE on birth control, right?"

"...no," you admit.

he sucks air through his teeth. "damn."

"bad damn or 'oh well' damn?"

"'oh well' damn.'"

a beat. "...random, but you know when i first met you, i thought you were a stud lesbian?"

"yeah get off me."

[cosmosluckycharms]

Bug like angel

Feeling Good today

technically just filler and for fun tbh

chatfic i know people hate them but i needed more spiderkids crumbs

idk if people wanted to be tagged in this since technically there wasnt a plot so no tags for rn ig

this was okay idk i hate it

lots of stupid brainrot prolly unfunny but i had fun with this

also pavitr and reader can break the 4th wall dont think too hard abt it

Y/N L/N Made a group chat

Y/N L/N Added Hobart Brown

Y/N L/N Added Pavitr Prabhakar

Y/N L/N Added Miles Morales

Y/N L/N Added Gwen Stacy

Y/N L/N Added Peni Parker

Y/N L/N added Margo Kess

Y/N L/N Changed their name to y/n

y/n: hey guys

Pavitr changed their name to Pav

Gwen Stacy changed their name to Gwen

Miles Morales changed their name to Miles

Hobart Brown changed their name to Hobie

Margo Kess changed their name to Margo

Peni Parker changed their name to Peni

y/n changed Peni's name to Penjamin

Penjamin: what (　｀□´)

Peni Parker changed their name to Peni

y/n changed Peni's name to Penjamin Penjamin: BR9

BRO*

Penjamin changed their name to peni

y/n changed peni's name to penjamin

penjamin changed their name to peni

y/n changed peni's name to penjamin

penjamin changed their name to peni

y/n changed peni's name to penjamin

penjamin changed their name to peni

y/n changed peni's name to penis

penis: ill stick to penjamin ig (｡-｀へ´-｡)

y/n: LMFAOOOOOO

y/n changed penis's name to peni

peni: YAY

y/n: peni doesnt look like a real word anymore

miles: why r u guys awake its like 2 am

y/n: dont worry about it

gwen: no but like actually

why r u awake

ur a sleepy person

y/n: dude its cause like

my family is so fuckinf loud it actually pisses me off

like idgaf what yall do stop screaming

stop cryin and start grinding

miles: LMFAOO

what r they even doing

y/n: damian and jason r fighting like full on fist fighting

tim is yelling over not being able to do his work

dick is tryna defuse the situation

bruce is brooding also tryna calm everything down

and alfred js pmo

gwen: not the alfred stray

miles: guys

wanna sneak out

we should all like

go to see a movie

y/n: omg ur so right

guys

@.everyone

qho can comw

miles: who* can*

y/n: KILL YOURSELF

miles: WOWWWW OKAY DIE I GUESS

anyway

@.everyone

peni: i can! (*･ω･*)

gwen: same

margo: me too

y/n: RARE MARGO APPEARANCE!!!!!!

margo: rare margo appearance!

pav: i can also come! can we sneak snacks in?

y/n: HI PAVIIII and yessss

hobie: lets sneak in

margo: no lets use y/ns dads credit card

we hate that guy

gwen: wait we should

@.y/n

y/n: what

oh

OH

HELL YEAH i love spending his money

hes too rich

miles: throwback to back when we all used his money to get us tickets to concerts lmfao

pav: #ihatebrucewayne

y/n: LMFAOOO ty twin ily

ur so funny pavi please dont get run over by a horse carriage

pav: ???

hobie: what movie

y/n: idk lets freeball it

miles: meet me in my universe

pav: Y/N WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONT GET RUN OVERARE YOU PLOTTING SOMETHING

y/n: dont worry about it

y/n: hi guys

guys i just made a rly good tamale

miles:tyler the creator reference

y/n: I LOVE THAT SONG

throwback to when pavi literally almost burnt my kitchen down

pav: THAT WAS ONE TIME

y/n: DUDE ISTG UR LUCKY MY FAMILY WASNT HOME AND I DISABLED THE CAMERAS

they prolly wouldve grounded me

miles: i wish they grounded youWOAAAHHH WHO SAID THAT

y/n: miles remember who got you and gwen to datedont play with me rn

miles: i stand by what i said

gwen: miles stop teasing y/n

miles: id like to apologize.

margo: LMFAOOOOOO

peni: NOT THE SWITCH UPP

y/n: i DONT forgive you

miles: aight lets fight

y/n: OH BRIELLA WAITI NEED THAT!

miles: oh dear

margo: you guys are so brainrotted i fear

hobie: right

y/n: hobie where have you beenyou ahvent been in this chat lately

hobie: dont worry about it

Miles: my dad js bought me a bunch of markers

Y/N: whats that

whats a 𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

gwen: STOPP

margo: i can feel the pain in her dih🥀

y/n: nah 🥀 she 🥀 got 🥀you 🥀 blushin 🥀 twin 🥀 aw 🥀hell 🥀naw 🥀twin 🥀 you 🥀gotta 🥀 lock up 🥀 twin 🥀bruh🥀 this 🥀ain’t 🥀 even 🥀you 🥀twin 🥀on 🥀fomeon🥀grave 🥀bruh 🥀euuahhhh

peni: GOODBYE

y/n: dude i got into an argument with my school councler like a year ago cause i said my family was pissing me off and neglecting melike js cause my fathers the richest man ever does NOT make me like him

"hes family" he can smd

margo: your whole family pisses me off

y/n: i hate them all

one time damian dropped a vase and blamed it on tim who blamed it on me

and THEN when i argued and proved myself right i still got in trouble.

miles: im on thar good koosh and alekhauwl

y/n: die

peni: have you guys seen my remote

for my tv

gwen: peni your technology is like a million years away from ours

why would we have it

miles: didnt you leave it inside your jewlery box

margo: my jewl

peni: YOU WERE RIGHT THANK YOU MILES (/--)/

miles: yw (^.^)

hobie: i just blew up a car

gwen: can i have it

hobie: no its mine

gwen: sigh

hey y/n

youve been quiet for a while

r u ok

miles: yeah lowk im worried

margo: y/n r u dead

peni: she probably is

y/n is typing...

hobie: oh boy here we go

y/n: guys i am hiding in a vent in my closet rn damian chased me cause i called him an asshole and he has a katana help

gwen: oh my god??? are you??? okay???

y/n: help yes i am okay i just panicked and ran into a wall my nose bleeding help

pav: im omw

y/n: I JUST SLIPPED ON MY NOSW BLEED BLOOD LKFAOOOOO

miles: bro 😭

y/n: guys im okay now damian called me pathetic and walked away mopping the blood rn

margo: how are you always hurting yourself

y/n: parker luck

y/n: guys pavi literally cursed me

pav: ?

y/n: im a really good cook as you guys know

and a really good baker cause yk all neglected reader stories make the reader a baker for some reason

gwen: ???what

pav: YOU CAN BREAK THE 4RTH WALL TOO?? I THOUGHT ONLY I COULD DO THAT

y/n: YESSSSS I THOUGHT I WAS GOINF INSANE

we got twin telepathy fr

pav: real

y/n: anyways

pav cursed me now i js almost burnt down the kitchen

its a good thing miguels on speed dial i almost burnt down the manor with me in it

pav: I DID NOT CURSE YOU

y/n: YOU DIDYOU RUINED MY KITCHEN

pav: I DID NOT GWEN SEND HER AWAY TO JAIL AND HAVE HER IMPRISONED 😡😡😡😡

gwen: WHY ME

y/n: you and margo r the only responsible ones here

miles: im responsible!

y/n: me when i lie

miles: die

i hope you uhhhhh get chased again by damian again

y/n: you guys dont know true fear until your youngest sibling chases you with a long knife

y/n: miles i have a bone to pick with you

miles: its not even 1 pm yet what did i do

y/n: YOU STOLE THE COOKIES I BAKED FOR UR PARENTS HO

miles: ya and id do it again

y/n: you pmo me off

miles: fuck u

(image.jpeg)

y/n: STOP NO DELETE THAT

gwen: AW WAIT THATS CUTE

margo: cutie

peni: the image wont load for me what is it

pav: ITS Y/N SLEEPING ON MIGUELS SHOULDERS

peni: OHHHHHH

y/n: i see how it is

(image.jpeg)

miles: WHERED YOU GET THAT FROM

peni: my phone is tweaking what is it

gwen: MILES UR SO CUTE

pav: its a pic of miles asleep at his dads desk 😭

miles: Y/N WHEN DID U TAKE THAT

y/n: dont worry about it

peni: im cryinf this is so silly

y/n: penjamin you are NOT safe

(image.jpeg)

peni: MY PHONE IS TWEAKING is it the pic of me on noirs back

pav: yes

peni: i knew it isighwait NOOOO NOT PENJAMIN

y/n: peni penjamin we r so back

hobie: girl scout cookies

margo: preach

y/n: never heard anything truer

gwen: i believe in you

pav: proud of you

peni: can i have one

miles: girl cookie scout

pav: do you all notice you all have a spider parent besides me and margo and hobie

gwen: huh

pav: miles has peter b, gwen you have jess, y/n has miguel, and peni is greedy and has 2 which are noir and ham

margo: damn share with the class peni

peni: those are MY DADS (＾ω＾)

y/n: miguel is saved as 'spider-dad' on my phone

hes actually my emergency contact

miles: im peter b's emergency contact that man is always up to something

gwen: jess is like my 2nd emergency contact

margo: whats the order

gwen: miles (♡) jess and my dad in that order

y/n: wowwww so not me

gwen: girl you are the emergency

y/n: die ho die

y/n: miles

miles

miles

miless

miles: what

y/n: whats ur mom making tonight

miles: yeah im doing great thanks for asking

y/n: shut up and tell me

miles: lemme check

arroz con gandules

y/n: im coming over

miles: no youre not

y/n: yeah i am

miles: i hate you

y/n: lyt

im so happy your mom cooks i love puerto ricans

miles: die

the chatfic no one asked for and no one needed

also prolly highkey ooc cause its a crackchatfic and im half asleep

guys im actually working on the next chapter i swear

no taglist cause i dont think anyone wanted this

[pablitosgf]

a book about us ! SERIES — op81

pairings ! — oscar piastri x fem!author!australian-chinese!reader

warnings ! — cursing and very poorly google translated chinese

info ! — in which you write a book inspired by your childhood & teenagehood with oscar, your childhood best friend, and how he practically ghosted you.

authors note ! — heyy…. i’m back… hah! hah… do you guys miss me?!?!

face claim ! — ningning (from aespa) + other girls

format ! — smau

liked by yourbff, haleypham, and 567,243 others

yourusername 🤫

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haleypham OH MY GOSH??? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS WHAT I THINK IT MEANS 😭😭

⤷ my mouth is zipped 🤐

user1 IS MOTHER GIVING US A SECOND BOOK TO YOU’RE MY STAR???

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user3 PLS THAT BOOK HAD ME CRYING AND SCREAMING IN EVERY PILLOWWWW

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⤷ i have a feeling thats a lie….

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⤷ SHOULDNT YOU HAVE SOME HOPE FOR ME?? 😭😭

yourbff well… 🤷🏻‍♀️

user4 HELLO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

liked by haleypham, cassiesbooks, and 953,896 others

yourusername my book, about us, is a heartbreaking, yet warm book that ventures through isla being in love with her best friend from childhood, oliver. however, as they journey out of childhood and into teenage-hood, feelings of heavy emotions and heartbreak loom.

About Us will be published 4/6/24 and released 4/14/24!

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haleypham OH MY GOSH… I NEED THIS NOW!!!

⤷ AHH I LUV YOU! ❤️❤️

cassiesbooks i will be getting this when it releases

⤷ ur the sweetest!! 💗

user1 childhood bestfriends trope = chefs kiss 💋

user2 rightt????

yourbff timer starts now ⏳

⤷ GIRL IF YOU DONT STOP 😭😭

yourbff sorry 😢

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yourusername thank you guys for so much love and support on about us! it truly means so much to me, so once again, thank you 💗

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yourmom 我爱你，你值得所有这些成功 ! ❤️💋

(translation - i love you and you deserve all the success)

⤷ 谢谢妈妈 !! 🥰😘

(translation - love you mama)

yourbff i cant wait!!!!

⤷ im actually gonna murder u one day

yourbff o

⤷ STOPPPPPP

yourbff p

⤷ 😭😭

yourbff HEY IM HELPING U YK

⤷ not rlly but okay! 😍

user1 probs one of my fav books of the YEAR

⤷ of the year!? thank u so much lovely!!

user2 yourbff’s comments have been lowkey weird lately… 🤨

user3 omg right?? i thought that was just me LMAO

[goldfades]

paige x reader texts!

(not my gif)

for my baby jojo! @wanderlusturous

notes: since i dont really know how to do those like screenshot ones, i decided to just do them manually cause it'd be easier LOL bare w me... also ignore how unaesthetic this post is

you’re taking forever to get ready, and paige is impatient

paige: Are you almost done?? you: beauty takes time baby paige: You’ve been “getting ready” for an hour you: and i will continue until i feel like the baddest in the room. u should support me paige: I do support you. I just don’t want to be late 😭 you: ok and? ur paige bueckers. they’ll wait. paige: That is NOT how this works 😭

--

you’re at one of paige’s games and she’s locked in

you: hi i love u play good 😘 paige: I’m literally about to play a game 😭 you: and? that should only fuel u. do it for me. paige: I always do 😏 you: god u r so in love w me it’s crazy paige: Stop texting me before Coach yells at me 😭

--

paige keeps sending you ugly selfies

paige:

you: girl what is this 💀 paige: It’s meeeeee you: no bc why is ur forehead taking up the whole screen paige: I was trying to show you my new pimple ☹️ you: well u succeeded. that thing is front and center paige: That’s mean ☹️ you: i’ll kiss it better later. but also u need skincare fr paige: …rude. but also what do I buy cause this Cerave shit isn't doing anything

--

paige left her fav hoodie at your place

paige: Can I get my hoodie back you: no ❤️ paige: What do you mean no?? It’s mine?? you: wrong. u left it here. it has transferred ownership paige: That’s not how this works you: i don’t make the rules. i just enforce them paige: You’re ridiculous you: and cozy 😌

--

paige woke up before you and is bored, while you need ur daily dose of insta reels

paige: Wake up you: no paige: I’m bored n ur just on tiktok 😭 you: sounds like a personal problem and it's literally insta reels paige: You are my girlfriend. It’s literally your job to entertain me. you: i do not recall signing up for this paige: Too late. Wake up. you: bribing me would work better js paige: I’ll buy you food you: ok bet

--

you caught paige staring at you when you guys are hanging out with friends

you: bro paige: ? you: why r u looking at me like that 😭 paige: Like what you: like u want to eat me paige: …I was just looking at you?? you: yeah with big heart eyes paige: Okay?? You’re literally my girlfriend?? you: sounds like a u problem tbh. i’m just here existing paige: And I’m just here admiring 🤷🏼‍♀️ you: softie

--

paige is flirting with you

paige: You looked really good today 😏 you: i always look good paige: Yeah but like… extra good you: oh? paige: Yeah you: so u admit u were staring paige: UHHHHHHH you: caught u slipping love

--

you’re mad at paige over something small

paige: Are you seriously still mad 😭 you: yes paige: It wasn’t even that serious you: IT WAS TO ME paige: You’re so dramatic omg you: don’t talk to me paige: What if I bring you snacks you: … paige: That’s what I thought you: ur lucky i love snacks

--

you’re making paige jealous on purpose

paige: Why are you talking to her so much?? you: oh? does someone feel threatened? paige: No. Just wondering why you’re talking to her THAT much. you: maybe i think she’s cute 😌 paige: Y/N. you: LMFAO NOT U USING MY FULL NAME paige: I’m serious 😒 you: baby i’m kidding. ur the only one i want paige: I hate you you: no u don’t 😘

--

paige is on a long roadie and is missing you

paige: I’m bored you: sounds like a u problem tbh paige: No, it’s a you problem bc I miss you you: oh paige: Yeah. Oh. you: ur kinda soft paige: Maybe you: i miss u too baby

[esotericbluntbaby]

hear me out. . . high sex with hamzah😍.

he’s so hot.

sneak

hamzahthefantastic x reader

description: a rough date causes bad decisions to be made. upset, you decided to call your ex, who also so happens to be one of your closest friends, to smoke with you.

mentions: smoking, drug use, angst, smut, happy ending, nsfw!

woahhh first smut fic.. don't worry for those who are getting tired of smut fics! i will continue to balance out of fics with a mixture of sfw and nsfw, with the sfw most likely being angst!

--

the dating scene simply wasn't for you.

sure, you've dated people in the past, though, you knew always that they were supposed to be temporary in your life. you had the mindset of acceptance when it came to temporary and permanent; the concept of allowing things to happen and allowing everything to fall into place as if a higher being would spin a wheel for each and every outcome of your life was common for you to think about.

however, the date you went on made you wonder about how thin the line is between permanence and temporariness is.

you thought the date went well. you both arrived at the purring lady on time; the bar's ambient lighting amplified the romantic tension between you and him. in fact, the night flew past without much awkward silence. you thought you knew him quite well by the end of the date, wishing him a safe ride home and kissing his cheek.

about to text him about a second date, which you urgently hoped for, you realized the texts were green; he had blocked you without a single explanation.

so, you were currently sat in your apartment windowsill eating ice cream and gazing out the window at the city's skyline. the sense of comfort from both your home and the area around you allowed you to heal from the night a bit faster; almost as if the sole action was the tylenol to your dating scene headache.

being honest with yourself, you were hoping to bring him home. you found him attractive, almost as if he was on the cover of some obscure magazine. your date was the kind of person that you'd see once and the sheer image and thought of them would wrap around your head like the bandaid to the loneliness that overtakes you. you wouldn't mind being touched by him. however, he's gone now, so the bandaid was ripped off.

scrolling through your text messages, you realize hamzah texted you. the relationship that you and hamzah had used to be romantic. in fact, he was one of the people who taught you that some people are permanent; though you aren't together anymore, you still remained close. you would be lying if you said you didn't really feel anything for him anymore. no matter what, you think you'd always be a simple text or phone call away from him. no matter what, you think you'll always have some level of feeling towards him. though, some resentment will always be there; he was still the reason you tried to find love in dating apps instead of that whole friends-to-lovers deal.

hamzah

10:43 pm | yo

10:43 pm | how'd it go?

you

11:24 pm | ehhh

11:25 pm | i thought it went well

11:24 pm | i guess he didn't bc im blocked now lol

11:24 pm | fuck me for trying to get back into dating again

hamzah

11:26 pm | r u okay?

11:26pm | im like here if u need to talk abt it

11:26 pm | or i can js come over

11:28 pm | we can smoke it out

11:29 pm | i got the mango wraps that u like

you

11:29 pm | i thought u didn't like the mango ones

hamzah

11:30 pm | i dont

11:30 pm | but u do

you

11:30 pm | doors open for whenever

hamzah

11:31 pm | dont leave ur door open wtf lock it n js unlock it when im there

11:32 pm | what if theres a murderer on the loose

you

11:33 pm | holy shit hamzah

hamzah

11:34 pm | sorry coming

--

thankfully, you didn't get murdered by a man in a mask wielding an axe.

hamzah and you were currently on your couch, eyes ruby and lidded with the weed in front of you guys glistening in your lines of sight. hamzah began to roll you a blunt using the mango wraps you enjoyed; he never, ever allowed you to roll on your own. he always preferred doing it for you ever since you both found out that each of you use weed as a pastime for boredom. however, for you, it started to morph into a way to stop hurting. the date from tonight wasn't the first date to have gone "horribly," in fact, it was a sequence of many. you started to feel better now that you aren't using on your own; hamzah was there now. maybe the pain from your heart justifies the pain you're risking towards your body. more importantly, hamzah gives an extra buzz; it was both the blunt in between his fingertips and himself that was helping you feel less lonely.

you reached for the blunt in his hand, itching to take a hit. however, he moved it slightly away from you. confused, you looked up at him, gazing at him. the black beanie, hiding most of his curls besides the ones at the nape of his neck, surprisingly complimented the redness of his scelera. gazing at him, your eyes twinkled as if the fire from the lighter appeared in them. this was the feeling you felt like you'd always achieve from the mere sight of him; a feeling of companionship.

"what's up?" he asked, not allowing you to take the blunt from his hand.

you snapped out of the gaze he intertwined you with, "huh?"

"you seem more out of it than usual," he took a puff from the blunt between his fingers, "i swear you never smoked this much."

"i don't- i haven't smoked a lot."

"you just took like 15 drags from it."

"i did?"

"yeah, you did. so, what's up?"

you slowly blinked, "i don't know."

"you do. tell me, talk about it- maybe it'll help."

you steal the blunt from his hand, taking a long hit as he stares are you with an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes. possibly it was worry, or pity, or a cross mix between the two. maybe, he realized how much you changed since the two of you ended things.

"i guess i just feel lonely."

"how so?"

"i've been on 5 dates in the past 5 months, once every 4 weeks- and i guess like, i dunno, the more i go on these dates the more i realize how, like, shitty everyone is. this last guy i went on a date with, noah, i thought it went well. kissed his cheek and everything- the full 9 yards for a first date. then i realized he blocked me as soon as he left. it's like somethings driving people away."

"i'm sorry."

"for what?"

he takes a long drag out of cylinder, "that people don't see you the way that i do."

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i mean, like-" he hesitated.

"don't think about it too much. just say it as it is."

he started, "when we were dating, i saw you as human."

"i mean- obviously."

"no, you don't get it," he softly assured, " i think before you, or like, dating you, i worshipped all the people i was with like they were some god. i got on my knees and saw them as this higher being to praise, to the point where my relationships constantly belittled me. i was just some guy and they had the fate of everything in their hands. why would someone with all that power love someone like me?"

"sorry, i'm lost-"

"then, i got to the point of my life where i dated you and, for the first time, i was with someone who was equal. i didn't have to work my ass off to keep you in my life; in fact, the time where i was so upset that i wasn't working my ass off, you took, like, 80% of that relationship for a full week and carried it on your back. i thought you'd just leave. when i was struggling, i thought you wouldn't want some burden for you to carry on your shoulders, weighing you down like you were walking up hills with rocks taped to 'em. no, instead you picked me up. i was crashing and breaking, constantly, and somehow, you taped all the cracks together and now i'm alright again. yeah, a higher being plays with fate and lives and chance and all of that, but there's so much in the world that they leave broken and unattached. only a human would take the time and effort to mend me back together."

you looked at him with furrowed brows and a pit in your heart, "hamzah, i don't get it. if you felt this way towards me, why'd you leave?"

"feel."

"what?"

"i still feel this way about you. i never stopped."

your eyes began to water and you couldn't tell if it was from the weed or from the secrets being let out of the closet, "you're fucking with me. what the fuck?"

he watched as your eyes glistened and began to rub your thigh comfortingly. you two sat on the couch in silence as thoughts ran through both of your heads; it was now up to the both of you if voicing the voices in your head was a good idea or not. simultaneously, you both decided to take the leap, with hamzah breaking the quietude of the room.

"i was scared."

"of?"

"if things didn't work out- if we kept going in the relationship and somehow we started arguing more or ignoring- i don't think i would've been able to handle it."

"i wanted to handle it."

"well-"

your voice cracked in the middle of your sentences, "no, hamzah, i could've handled it because i was with you. you left me! you left me when i needed you. i keep on trying to fill the space you just left in my heart and my apartment with random guys off of any dating app available and it just doesn't fucking work. why would you leave me like that? i mended your cracks and then you suddenly decided to give them back to me, and now i'm trying to fix it but i just can't. why would you do that, you fucking ass? and why would you tell me about it right now?"

"i'm sorry-"

"no, this should've never happened, i should've never invited you over. what the fuck?"

"kick me out, then."

"what?"

he stood up, with you standing up right after, "you regret this. it's fine. kick me out. tell me to leave."

"fuck you, hamzah, you know that i can't just do that."

"i'm telling you, kick me out."

you pushed him, "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"keep doing that. push me as much as you want, i deserve it."

your hands found its way to his chest, pushing as if you didn't beg for him to pull. he stared at you with a certain glint in his eyes; a certain neediness you haven't seen in him in a while. to say this was only a reaction of frustration towards him and his actions towards you would be a lie. it was everything all at once; the frustration from all the dates, the frustration from all hamzah put you through, and the frustration of not being touched ever since being with him. you were sexually pent up. you pushing him was actually the only form of physical touch you've had in ages. he took it. he simply took all the pushes you threw at him.

over time, the pushes got less and less aggressive, resulting in him being able to wrap his arms around you as you softly cried. you weren't fully sobbing, but it was still enough tears to the point where his shirt was slightly soaked. he didn't care; he never cared that his shirt was wet from you crying. he continued to hold you as he sat both of you down, back onto your couch.

"why would you do that to me?"

he kissed your forehead, "baby, i'm sorry. i'm so sorry."

he held you for what seemed like ages, stroking your hair and wiping your tears with his thumbs. you were confused; what do you want out of this? what does he want out of this? you wreathed out of his arms and sat beside him, both of your red tinted eyes remaining on each other's.

"i can leave now, if you want. it's two in the morning. i'm sorry."

"no."

"i'm not good for you. i leave when things get hard, baby, and i don't want you to go through that aga-"

you reached for his cheeks, thumbs in the fronts of them, and leaned towards him. your heads tilted to opposite sides, your lips connecting with bridges, mountains, and oceans of emotion between them. his hands made its way to your hips with his fingertips denting the stretchmarks, slightly tracing them as if his eyes were still opened. his tongue reached the inside of your mouth with hunger and desperation laced in his saliva. three minutes of sole kissing went by, before you pulled away.

"stay. please."

"what do you want from me, baby?"

"you know what i want from you. what do you want from me?"

"take a guess."

his hands made their ways to your thighs, pulling you over onto his lap, before connecting your lips again. he stood up, holding you with his muscular forearms, and navigated his way through the living room with his eyes still closed. the layout of your living room hasn't changed since he was last changed; hamzah was observant. he knew what he was doing.

reaching your room, he laid you onto bed with aspects of both foiling gentleness and roughness. getting on top of you, his lips made its way down your neck, making dark, blood-restricted marks down your body. it hurt; yet, you craved the pain it gave you. as he reached down to kissing your hips, you took off your shirt, leaving you in a bra. he stopped kissing you to hover over you, instead taking his beanie and hoodie off of himself in swift motions.

"do this often?" you teased.

he kissed you on the lips, "only with you."

he took off your shorts, revealing a black, lace thong underneath.

"you really just wear this shit around your house?"

"you were coming over," you started to take off his sweatpants, "i needed to prepare for the unexpected."

"god, you're so fucking hot."

the two of you laid in bed, him hovering over you and placing kisses and marks all over your body. he had always been a tease; you knew that hamzah liked to take his time with it. he said it feels better for the both of you if he does. however, currently, you weren't having it.

"hamzah, please."

"hm? what's the matter baby?"

"i need more, baby, please."

"are you still on birth control?"

"yeah, i am."

he took off his boxers, revealing the same 6 inches that you craved at night; actually, touched yourself to the thought of at night. his hand made its way to his dick, stroking it before moving your underwear to the side. as it slid inside of you for the first time, a burning sensation overtook the pleasure the entrance made you feel. your eyes teared up once more, followed by hamzah using his hand to wipe it off.

"hurts- fuck- it hurts-"

he kissed you lovingly, "it's okay; there's no rush. i'll start when you're ready."

you adjusted to his size as you made out with him, pulling away to tell him that he could move now. the pleasure he gave you couldn't even be measured; his movements made you forget all about the emotional pain that consumed you. there was comfortable eye contact, both of you looking at each other with the same eyes that started off high about 2 hours ago. your mouths remained slack jawed and wide open, occasionally kissing each other on the lips or mouth. suddenly, it felt as if a rope was about to snap inside of you.

"i'm close. fuck- i'm close."

he moved your leg up, resting it on his shoulder as his pace sped up. your eyes rolled back as ripples of pleasure echoed throughout your whole body. hamzah was good at this; he knew what he was doing and how to make you feel as good as you possibly can. with a few more strokes, you felt him release inside of you. he soon collapsed beside you, as you both caught your breaths.

hamzah turned to you and kissed you on the forehead, "i missed you."

"i missed you, too."

"what does this mean for us, now?" he hesitated, "i mean, am i gonna leave tomorrow and suddenly it's just like none of this happened, or-

"do you regret it?" you asked him, slightly scared of the answer.

"hey," he put his hand on your cheek, "i just spent the damn near the entire night telling you about how i could never regret you. fuck, i literally bought the wraps you like just for you. not to mention, i fucking hate the way they taste and they're a pain in the ass to roll and yet i did both smoke and roll them this entire night. i don't do that shit for just anyone. you tell me, do you think you regret it?"

"no. i don't. i can't regret you either, even if i tried."

"we'll start over. i'll do things right, this time, i promise."

you realized the line between temporariness and permanence wasn't as thin as you thought it would be, as now a temporary lover finally realized his permanence in your life.

--

authors note!

i am honestly not that experienced with smut, so i hope u guys still mess with it >_<

[all444miles]

— JERSEY LUV

— pairing: e-42 miles x black!fem!reader — genre: suggestive, but fluff. — summary: attractive things Miles does that just make you fold instantly. — a/n: this was js in my drafts n i was like "i should post this" while yall waiting 4 my new fic !! the entire time i was writing this I was losing my absolute SHITTT. 😭 Like, i was dead by the first hc. this might as well be those "what's it like dating miles" type shi but i wanted to make it diff, yk? listen to some kind of fold-worthy song while u read this - anyways, im waffling. enjoy, mls !! part 2 part 3 !

MILES MORALES that does not take your attitude. He loves you, yes, but if you do too much or talk crazy, he's gonna put you in your place. It's nun violent, of course, but he may just grab your neck once or twice.

"Chiquita, watch yo tone wit me." "Drop that attitude f'me." "Miss me with that voice, ma."

MILES MORALES that manspreads. that's it. that's all.

MILES MORALES that's always gonna call you by some kind of nickname. He just loves it, and you do too. Princesa, ma, hermosa, the list goes on and on. One time he called you lil mami (if you're shorter) and you actually lost it.

MILES MORALES that always has his hands on you. Your waist, your thigh, your face, everywhere. He just needs to make sure your there.

MILES MORALES that lives for your kisses and always kisses you. Doesn't matter the place, the time, nothing. If he wants a kiss from you, or wants to give you some, it's gonna happen. Especially when you have lipstick/lipgloss on.

"Mi reina, lemme love on you."

MILES MORALES that drives with one hand because his other always on your thigh. It's like his lil resting spot.

MILES MORALES that'll always let you know he misses you, he'll spam you with "i miss you" texts or voice notes w him going on abt his day when you not around ‹3

MILES MORALES that has social media but only uses it to post you. You the love of his life, why wouldn't he let evb else know that?

MILES MORALES that loves to spoil you. You like that pandora bracelet? It's yours. You have a shein cart? Its on its way. He loves to spoil his girl, its his love language atp.

MILES MORALES that always keeps eye contact with you and make sure you keep contact with him whenever yall talking. dont look away if he say sum that makes you fold, he gon grab your chin and make you face him 🤭

"Nah nah baby, don't turn away. Keep ya eyes on me."

quick @ to my boo @laaailuh

© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.

likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always appreciated !

[bombiikki]

𝖎 𝖉on't 𝖊ven 𝖑ike 𝖞ou 𝖙hat 𝖒uch ⸝⸝ 𓂃₊ ⊹

⋆˙⟡ — non idol!minji x fem!reader

♯ 𝖘ynopsis : you never would’ve thought to find yourself bonding over some apple cider with someone—and all it took was your dormmate dr

𝖈ontains : small angst, reader has an ex, drinking is mentioned, situationship???, bascially js friends with benefits, reader confesses early on but they dont do nothin abt it, well they do kiss like 3 times after but its ok cuz no homo, except theres a whole lotta homo activity, hanni is reader's dormmate

𝖜ord 𝖈ount : 9.2k

𝖆uthor's 𝖓ote : ugh this wasnt proofread at all and i was so gonna scrap it but EHHH ITS WHATEVERRR i liek the idea i js dont think i executed it well enough. sighssss (i totally rushed this but i lkw cant be bothered to fix it im so sorry) (ill write another minji fic soon to amke up for whatever this was)

. ♬ ݁˖ 𝖓ow 𝖕laying — apple cider by beabadoobee

you hadn’t really gone out since the breakup.

the breakup wasn’t exactly dramatic either. not in the movie-scene way. there were no screaming matches, no shattered mugs or slamming doors. it was the type of breakup with a quiet ending—one that left everything and nothing at the same time.

you still saw her sometimes—your ex—in the quad or at the coffee stall by the library. you didn’t talk, of course. you just noticed her presence the way you’d notice a bruise on your thigh—dull, lingering. fading, but not gone.

you’d been existing more than living lately. floating between lectures and your dorm bed, skipping anything loud or social or messy. hanni, your dormmate, hadn’t stopped trying. she left you sticky notes and poked her head in every other night with some new plan.

“you need to touch grass,” she said one afternoon, perched upside down on her bed like her blood belonged in her head. “you’re turning pale and tragic.”

“i’m always pale,” you muttered, typing something pointless on your laptop.

“exactly,” she said, flipping upright with purpose. “come out with me tonight. nothing intense. just food. some of the girls from my dance classes. you’ll like them.”

“do i have to talk?”

“only if you want more rice.”

you pretended to grumble, but the truth was, you’d already said yes in your silence. part of you knew hanni was right. hiding didn’t help. sulking didn’t soften anything. so you said okay. put on your jumper—the old faded one with a sun stitched near the sleeve—and followed her out into the night.

the restaurant was tucked into a narrow street just off campus. warm, golden lights spilled out of fogged windows. laughter echoed from inside. the scent of grilled meat and garlic hit you before you stepped through the door.

you tried not to shrink in on yourself as you slid into the booth. hanni’s friends greeted you like you’d always been there. it wasn’t so bad. it was warm and noisy, and no one expected you to be interesting.

and then she walked in.

minji.

someone called her name, and that’s how you knew it. minji. it fit her.

she slid into the space across from you like she’d always belonged there. her hair was half-tied, a few strands falling into her face. lip gloss smudged a little at the corner. she laughed at something someone said, low and honeyed, and when her eyes landed on you—just for a second—it felt like someone knocked the wind out of your lungs.

“you’re hanni’s roommate, right?” she asked halfway through the meal, her voice soft under the noise.

you nodded. “y/n.”

“i like your jumper.”

you blinked. “thanks.”

it was nothing. a throwaway compliment. said in passing. but the way she looked at you when she said it—it stayed. like she meant it. like it wasn’t just about the jumper.

you caught yourself glancing at her through the rest of dinner. she was so… easy. like she belonged in rooms like this. loud ones. happy ones. and she didn’t shrink when people spoke to her—she leaned in. smiled. answered. you used to be like that, you thought. or maybe you just wanted to be.

you ended up walking back with hanni. minji went in a different direction.

“she’s pretty,” you said, trying to sound casual.

hanni glanced over at you with a knowing look. “mhmm.”

“i’m not—”

“i didn’t say anything.” she grinned. “but if you’re gonna start wearing that jumper every day, at least wash it once in a while.”

you rolled your eyes but said nothing.

and yeah. you wore the jumper again the next day. and the day after that.

you saw minji again in a literature lecture, a few rows ahead. she glanced back as you walked in, offering a little wave. your heart stuttered like it didn’t know how to beat properly anymore.

you didn’t know what this was. or if it was even anything. you just knew it felt new. and maybe a little dangerous.

you tucked your sleeves over your hands and looked down at your notebook.

you didn’t look up again for the rest of the lecture.

the thing about invite-only parties was that no one actually cared who invited who. maybe it started exclusive, but somewhere between the third repost on someone’s story and the promise of free drinks, the whole campus decided they were invited too.

the party was everything you’d expected and nothing like you imagined.

it was too loud, and too many people were crammed into the living room, red cups in hand, bodies swaying too close, too eager. music pulsed from the speakers, the bass thumping so hard it rattled your chest. you could feel it in your throat, deep and hollow.

hanni was already halfway through the door when she turned back to you, eyes sparkling. “you ready to make bad decisions?”

you didn’t answer, just followed her inside, your sneakers sticking to the floor with each step.

“hey, y/n!” someone greeted you, someone from your economics class, and you offered a half-smile. you were fine with being there—just not too here. not where everything felt too fast, too sticky with cheap alcohol and messy socialising. you’d rather have been back in your dorm, tucked up with a book, far away from this.

but hanni dragged you deeper into the crowd, and before you knew it, you were holding a cup of something—beer, maybe? you didn’t care enough to check.

and then you saw her.

minji was standing by the kitchen counter, talking to someone, but her eyes met yours across the room. for a second, there was nothing but her gaze—soft, like she was trying to figure you out. you smiled, uncertain, and she returned it, before turning back to the conversation.

it felt like you’d been staring at her forever, but then someone nudged you, and you were suddenly aware of how hot and cramped the space was.

“let’s find somewhere to sit,” hanni said, already heading for the couch.

you followed, but your eyes flicked to the kitchen where minji still stood. the crowd felt so loud now.

you sipped from your cup, unsure if the taste was even pleasant or just something you were doing to blend in. hanni’s voice bubbled up beside you, but your mind was elsewhere, distracted by the way minji was laughing again, easy, like it was just part of who she was.

it was then that you realised—you didn’t want to just blend in. you wanted to be part of something here.

you made yourself move. you weren’t sure if you were making a choice or if it was just what happened when someone like minji looked at you like that.

when you reached the kitchen, minji was there, holding a bottle of something—but it wasn’t the kind of drink you were expecting.

“apple cider,” she said, offering you a bottle like she’d been waiting for you.

you blinked. “apple cider?”

“yeah,” she smiled. “it’s the non-alcoholic thing here. and it’s hella good too.”

you laughed, sudden and real. “i thought i was the only one not trying to burn my throat tonight.”

she leaned against the counter beside you, eyes flicking around the room like she was only half-interested in the chaos.

“i don’t like the taste of alcohol,” she admitted. “makes my tongue feel like sandpaper.”

“you’ve tasted sandpaper?”

“no. but i imagine it feels like regret and tequila.”

you snorted into your drink. “accurate.”

someone bumped into your back, a spill of music and limbs, but minji didn’t flinch. she just shifted a little closer, her shoulder brushing yours. the air between you smelled like fruit punch and cheap perfume and something soft, like home wrapped in a cardigan.

“so,” she said, voice quieter now. “you come to these things often?”

you shook your head. “first one this year.”

“why?”

you looked at your bottle. “dormmate peer pressure.”

she grinned. “same. let me guess—hanni?”

“you too?”

“she dragged me out by the collar.”

you both laughed, and for a moment, the party faded into background noise. there was only this little bubble of fizz and warmth and matching drinks.

“so what do you do when you’re not drinking apple cider at loud parties?” she asked.

you shrugged. “read. avoid drama. overthink texts for hours. you?”

“draw on my notes. people-watch. make unnecessarily long playlists.”

“i do that too.”

“oh? long playlists?”

“no, the unnecessarily part.”

the conversation drifted, and you found yourself talking about little things, about classes, about family. about why you ended up in university, why you stayed in your head so much.

it was easy. like talking to someone who already understood you, without needing to say everything.

as the party stretched deeper into the night, bodies pressing in every direction and the noise swelling once more, minji glanced your way—and for a fleeting moment, it felt like you were the only two in the world.

“this is the best part of the night,” she said, her eyes soft, almost private. “when it’s quiet. when you’re just…”

“here?” you finished for her.

she nodded.

“yeah,” you said, laughing quietly. “just here.”

minji looked at you like she was trying to memorise your laugh. you looked back like you were trying not to notice.

and maybe the party kept going. maybe the music got louder and the room got fuller and the air got heavier. but here, in this tiny corner of too much everything, the world felt quieter.

it was just you. her. and the apple cider fizzing gently between your fingertips.

the party felt like a blur the next morning—apple cider fizz still tingling on your tongue, minji’s laugh tucked somewhere behind your ribs. you hadn’t stayed late. neither had she. but you’d left together, weaving through the spill of people and laughter like two ghosts slipping out of a dream.

and then, hours later, the dream still clung to your shoulders.

the café smelled like toasted bagels and burnt espresso, the kind of scent that clung to your jumper long after you’d left. minji was already there when you arrived, tucked into the corner seat by the window, hands wrapped around a paper cup.

she looked up, smiled like you were someone she’d been hoping would come.

you tugged at your sleeves, tried not to seem like you’d rushed here.

“morning,” you said, voice still rough around the edges.

“you came,” she said, and it wasn’t teasing—it was soft, almost surprised.

“you asked.”

you ordered something sweet, because you didn’t feel like pretending that morning. she watched you, elbow resting on the table, chin in her palm.

“you always wear that jumper,” she said as you sat.

you glanced down. it was the same one from the party. and the kbbq. and every day since the kbbq.

“you said you liked it.”

she blinked, then smiled wider. “i still do.”

“thanks,” you said. “it’s my favourite now.”

her smile turned sly. “wonder why.”

you looked away, hid your face behind your cup.

minji sat across from you, stirring her drink with a wooden stick, eyes half-lidded with sleep.

"did you not sleep well last night?" you asked, voice still scratchy from lack of sleep.

she cracked one eye open. “am i that obvious?”

“you looked like you lost a fight with your pillow.”

minji snorted. “you should’ve seen the pillow.”

the café was quiet, just a few students nursing hangovers and deadlines. the sunlight spilled through the window, catching on the strands of her hair. there was still a bit of sleep in her eyes, but she was there, and she was real, and she was easy to talk to in the way that most people weren’t.

she told you about her morning routine. you told her about the time hanni mistook salt for sugar in her tea and still pretended it tasted fine out of pride.

you both laughed. people around you faded.

you didn’t realise how much time had passed until she checked the time and muttered, “shit, lit’s in ten.”

you groaned. “we’re not running.”

“we are absolutely running.”

and you didn’t run, not really. it was more like a fast walk that dissolved into laughter halfway through campus. minji complained about the weight of her tote bag. you offered to carry it. she declined.

“it’s full of bad poetry,” she said. “you’ll lose brain cells.”

“so, your writing?”

she gasped. “rude! absolutely unforgivable. i liked you.”

you grinned, breathless as you reached the doors of the lecture hall. she held it open for you.

inside, you both slipped into your usual seats—side by side now. she pulled out her notebook. you tried not to look at the messy stars she’d drawn across the front cover.

professor cho started talking about virginia woolf. you started taking notes. she didn’t. halfway through, she nudged your knee with hers, gently, like punctuation.

you didn’t say anything. just smiled to yourself and kept writing.

it started slow, like a ripple that spread without you even noticing. a missed text. an unspoken word. the kind of quiet that wasn’t peaceful, but suffocating.

you didn’t want to feel it, but you couldn’t stop. the weight of everything you’d been trying to push away suddenly slammed into you—sharp, unforgiving.

it was stupid, really. you'd told yourself you were fine, that you'd moved on. but here you were again, alone in your dorm with your thoughts tangled in things you’d rather forget. memories of your ex fluttered like moths in your mind, whispering soft words you used to hold close.

you didn’t want to stay in your head any longer.

“come on,” hanni’s voice broke through the haze of your thoughts. “we’re going out to another party. you need some air.”

she didn’t give you a choice. before you could even protest, she was dragging you out the door.

you’d almost said no. almost told her you’d rather stay curled up in the silence, but you knew you wouldn’t. you’d rather be anywhere than stuck inside with the ache that made your chest feel heavy.

you pulled on your favourite jumper—the one that had started to feel like a shield, something familiar to hide behind—and followed hanni out into the night.

the party was already in full swing when you arrived. loud, chaotic, people spilling out of every corner, as if everyone on campus had come together to erase whatever was eating at them. you could hear laughter, music, the sound of bodies moving through the night.

hanni slipped away into the crowd, already lost to the night. you didn’t try to find her. instead, you wandered toward the drinks table, eyes scanning the bottles, trying to avoid looking at the brightly coloured cider at the edge.

apple cider.

you would’ve gotten yourself a bottle of it by now and avoid everyone drinking their night away. but grief has a way of picking its own night to show up uninvited. and tonight, it showed up in waves, steady and bitter, like a song you didn’t want to hear but couldn’t turn off.

so you chose to drink your night away too. you grabbed something strong. vodka, maybe? gin? it didn’t matter. it was the burn you needed, the fire that would drown out the ache in your chest.

you didn’t know how much you drank or how quickly. only that it helped, for a while. the warmth in your belly spread through you, making everything feel lighter, like you could float above the crowd instead of being crushed by it.

but it wasn’t enough. nothing would be.

the world swayed around you, and you stumbled through the party, searching for something to hold onto.

your mind felt fuzzy, but there was a clarity in the way everything started to blur. maybe you’d been avoiding this feeling for too long. maybe the alcohol was just the excuse to finally let yourself miss her—to finally admit you hadn’t let go.

you stepped outside, needing the cold air to clear your head, but it didn’t help much. the wind bit at your skin, but the ache inside was worse.

you leaned against the railing of the balcony, the city lights twinkling below like distant stars that didn’t care about your pain. the cold seeped into your bones, but it was better than the suffocating warmth inside.

you didn’t realise someone had followed you until you heard the quiet sound of footsteps behind you.

“y/n?”

you turned, startled. it was minji, standing a few feet away, her eyes wide with confusion.

“what are you doing out here?” she asked softly, her voice barely rising over the distant thrum of the party.

you didn’t really know how to answer. the words felt stuck in your throat, but somehow, they came out anyway.

“i’m drunk,” you said, with a humourless laugh. “didn’t realise how much, but here we are.”

“i thought you hated alcohol,” she said quietly.

you gave a short laugh, sharp and flat. “i do.”

“so why are you drinking it like it's water?”

you didn’t answer right away. didn’t want to. but her voice was gentle, and her hand hovered just close enough to yours that it almost felt like safety.

“i miss someone,” you said eventually. “and i thought if i burned enough of my throat, she’d stop showing up in my head.”

minji didn’t say anything. just stood beside you, solid and warm.

“we broke up a while ago. i never talk about her. doesn’t mean i don’t think about her.”

minji didn’t push you further. she just nodded, her gaze soft, like she was seeing something she didn’t want to but couldn’t look away from.

for a long moment, neither of you spoke. you just stood there, the night wrapping around you, the cold air biting at your skin.

you took a deep breath, swallowing down the lump in your throat. you hadn’t meant to say it, hadn’t planned on it, but the words slipped out anyway.

“i miss her so much,” you whispered, barely audible, like the confession itself hurt too much to speak.

minji’s gaze didn’t shift. she didn’t offer some perfect piece of advice. she didn’t tell you to move on or forget. she just stood there, still and quiet, like she was letting you be with your pain for a while.

you leaned a little closer to her, the alcohol still buzzing in your veins, but it wasn’t enough to numb the ache inside.

“your hair smells like fruit punch,” you murmured, your voice soft, almost playful in the midst of everything.

minji blinked, a small smile tugging at her lips. “and you smell like straight up booze,” she replied, her voice a little gentler now, a little warmer.

you laughed, a sound that felt like it had been trapped in your chest for far too long. the tension between you lightened, if only for a moment.

you stayed there for a while, not saying much. minji didn’t rush you. she just let you be, her presence grounding you in a way nothing else could.

“sorry,” you said, but it came out slurred, thick with something too heavy to name.

she stepped closer, arms wrapping around your frame gently, and pulled you into her chest.

“don’t apologise.”

you melted into her without thinking, the world tilting slightly as you clung to her coat like it was the last stable thing left.

“this is pathetic, right?” you muttered into her shoulder. “i don’t even like alcohol. i’m just—”

“you’re hurting,” she said, not unkindly. “people do stupid things when they’re hurting.”

you wanted to believe that. wanted to feel less stupid for chasing a buzz that barely numbed the ache.

finally, she sighed and pushed herself away from the railing. “i should get back inside. hanni’s probably looking for you.”

you nodded, not ready to let go but knowing she had to leave. she hesitated for a moment, then looked at you with a soft smile.

“don’t stay out here too long, yeah?”

you didn’t answer. just watched as she disappeared back into the party, leaving you alone with your thoughts again, the cold air mixing with the still-throbbing ache in your chest.

the party raged on inside, but here, out on the balcony, there was only the quiet, and the faint scent of fruit punch lingering in the air.

you were lying flat on your back, staring at the cracks in the ceiling like they meant something. the room spun around you in slow, deliberate circles, and your head throbbed with a pressure so sharp it made you want to cry. you weren’t sure how you got back to the dorm—just remembered your feet dragging you across campus, one hand pressed to the wall for balance, heart like a stone in your chest.

hanni was asleep now, curled into her bed across the room, soft breathing barely audible above the faint buzz in your ears. the clock glowed dimly from the desk—12:03am—its numbers blinking like they were mocking you.

your mouth was dry. your body felt heavy. and yet your mind was wide awake, buzzing like it’d been hooked to something electric.

you missed minji.

you missed her more than you’d expected to. and it wasn’t just the party or the alcohol or the cold of the balcony—it was something else. something worse. the kind of missing that made your chest ache. the kind of missing that came from a place deeper than you wanted to admit.

earlier, you couldn’t stop thinking about your ex. all you’d wanted was to drown her memory in alcohol and parties and blurred faces. but now, all you could think about was minji. her eyes in the dark. her soft laugh. the way she didn’t try to fix you, just stood beside you like she belonged there.

and you didn’t even like her that much.

wait.

your eyes fluttered shut, jaw slack.

wait, you do. fuck.

you liked her. or something like it. maybe it wasn’t full-blown love or anything dramatic. but it was something. and it was real enough to press itself into your ribs and make a home there, uninvited and warm.

your hand fumbled for your phone on the floor beside your mattress. it slipped from your fingers once, hit the ground with a dull thud, and you stifled a laugh. everything felt too loud. too quiet. too much.

the screen lit up. you scrolled through your contacts, blinking until the letters stopped blurring. minji. right there.

your thumb hovered for a second. then you pressed call.

it rang once. twice. three times. then—click.

“hello?” her voice was soft. groggy. like you had pulled her out of sleep.

you blinked up at the ceiling, lips parting slowly. “minji,” you whispered, the name sweet on your tongue. “hi.”

“y/n?” she sounded surprised. there was a beat of silence. “are you okay?”

“mm,” you hummed, shifting onto your side. “i dunno.”

another pause. she stayed on the line, waiting.

“do you remember the party?” you asked, voice thick and slow. “the balcony?”

“yeah,” she said gently.

“i liked that. with you,” you mumbled. “you make me feel... better. not good. but better.”

you heard her smile through the phone. “you’re drunk.”

“i know,” you admitted, giggling a little. “but i mean it. i think... maybe we should give this thing a try.”

there was silence. long enough that you almost forgot what you’d said. then her soft laugh filtered through the line like a song you half-remembered.

“oh, y/n,” she said, fond and amused. “you’re really drunk, huh?”

you frowned. “no i’m not. i mean yes. but i’m serious.”

she sighed, but it wasn’t annoyed—it was something closer to affectionate. “go to sleep, idiot,” she murmured. “we’ll talk in the morning.”

“okay,” you whispered, eyelids growing heavier.

“goodnight, y/n.”

“night, minji.”

the call ended, and the phone slipped from your hand.

you lay there in the dark, heart loud and messy in your chest, warmth curling behind your ribs. the alcohol dulled everything except this—the echo of her voice, the way she said your name, the way she didn’t hang up until she was sure you’d be alright.

you didn’t know what you were doing.

but you were starting to hope minji did.

you woke up with a headache that felt biblical.

your mouth was dry, your limbs sore, and your phone was tangled somewhere in your sheets like a ghost of last night. when you opened your eyes, the light leaking through the window burned straight through your skull.

hanni was gone. her bed was made, neat and untouched like she’d barely slept. maybe she hadn’t. you weren’t sure what time it was—somewhere past morning, judging by the brightness—but your body hadn’t adjusted yet. everything still felt sticky and slow.

you didn't remember walking back.

but you remembered the balcony and the way minji had looked at you like she wasn’t trying to understand you, just trying to be there. 

you remembered calling her at midnight. you remembered the words slipping out of your mouth like they’d been waiting there for hours—i think we should give this thing a try. you remembered the way she laughed.

and now she wasn’t saying anything.

you hadn’t checked your phone yet. part of you was scared to. another part already knew—there would be no message. no call back. no follow-up.

and when you did see her—because of course you would—you both pretended.

she met you outside your literature lecture, same as always, clutching a warm bottle of apple cider she must’ve grabbed on the way. she smiled. casual. easy. like the night before didn’t happen. like you didn’t say something that changed everything.

“you look like hell,” she said, nudging your arm gently.

you forced a smile. “i feel worse.”

she passed you her cup. “drink. helps with the hangover.”

you took a sip. it was sweet, slightly spiced, and warm against your cold insides. you handed it back wordlessly. she didn’t say anything about the party. or the phone call. or the way your voice cracked when you said minji last night.

you walked together across campus, shoes crunching over gravel, the trees bare and bending in the wind. your hands brushed once. neither of you moved away.

during your literature lecture, she sat beside you—close enough for your knees to touch. her notes were neat and clean, and she underlined things in light green. you couldn’t focus. not really. the professor’s voice was a blur, and your mind kept drifting—kept coming back to what you said.

“let’s give this thing a try.”

you’d meant it. you were drunk, but you meant it. even now, even with your body still sore and your heart still crawling its way out of the dark, you knew it was true.

but she didn’t say anything. and you didn’t ask.

you left the lecture hall in silence. the sky above was cloudy, pale and low. she walked beside you like she always did, like nothing had changed. and maybe it hadn’t. maybe it was always going to be this—almost something.

almost.

you passed by a group of people you both knew, talking loudly about another party next week. someone mentioned cider, someone else mentioned kisses under stairwells. you felt minji glance at you, just for a second, then look away.

you wanted to scream. you wanted to pull her aside and ask her what she thought. if it meant anything. if it was real, even a little. but your mouth stayed shut.

and so did hers.

later, she touched your arm as you parted ways.

“rest up, yeah?” she said. “you still look like death.”

“thanks,” you muttered, deadpan. “that’s sweet.”

her grin came slow. soft. but there was something behind it. something small and guarded and unreadable.

you wanted to say, talk to me about it. you wanted to ask, why won’t you bring it up?

but you just nodded. turned around. walked back to your dorm where hanni had left a half-eaten sandwich on your desk and a sticky note that said drink water u absolute idiot with three underlines.

you sat on your bed, stared at your phone again. still no new messages. and in the silence, you wondered if pretending meant it would all go away. but it didn’t.

the memory stayed—her laugh, the balcony, your voice at midnight, her silence now.

and you could feel it—ticking beneath your skin, ready to explode.

you never brought it up. neither did she.

the words still sat in the space between you, waiting like they had nowhere else to be. but the longer you pretended they weren’t there, the harder they were to ignore.

minji had started acting… different. not in ways you could really point at. just—softer. warmer.

you noticed it in the way she waited for you after class now, not just outside the door but all the way down the corridor, pretending she just happened to be walking that way. in the way she offered you half her snacks even when she only had two. in the way her eyes lingered just a little longer on your face when you spoke.

and today, she’d asked if you wanted to sit outside after your lecture.

the sun was out but the wind was sharp, and the grass was a little damp, but you said yes anyway.

 minji didn’t mind. she just dropped her canvas tote onto the ground and sat down cross-legged, patting the space beside her.

so you sat. and for a while, neither of you said anything.

birds chirped overhead. your shoes brushed lightly together. minji tipped her face up to the sky, eyes closed.

“your hair’s a bit messy,” she said quietly.

you looked at her, startled. “what?”

she turned to you and reached out, fingers brushing over your fringe, tucking a few strands behind your ear. “there,” she murmured. “fixed.”

your skin burned where she’d touched you.

“you’ve got nice hair,” she added, a little more casually this time, as if she hadn’t just short-circuited your whole nervous system.

you didn’t know what to say to that. you were still trying to recover from her fingers brushing against your cheek.

“thanks,” you said, and hoped your voice didn’t sound too breathless.

minji smiled at the grass like she hadn’t noticed anything. “you’re welcome.”

you tried not to look at her lips. you tried not to think about how close you were sitting. you failed.

the wind lifted a corner of your sleeve and she gently tugged it back into place. you were cold, and she must’ve noticed, because a few moments later she offered her jacket wordlessly, holding it out with both hands.

you stared at her. 

 “i’m fine,” you said, voice quieter than before.

“you’re shivering,” she said. “take it.”

you took it. you wore it.

it smelled like the faint sweetness of her shampoo with a subtle floral smell to it too.

you sat like that, talking about nothing and everything. you talked about the way you hated your 9am’s,the girl in your literature class who always showed up late and still answered every question, the weird fake duck near the campus fountain. normal things. friendly things.

but every time her arm bumped yours, every time she laughed and leaned a little closer, it didn’t feel like just friends. it felt like standing on a cliff, toes curling over the edge.

and maybe she knew that. maybe she was waiting for you to say something again.

but you were still scared. scared of what it would mean to let yourself fall. scared of how soft she made the world feel. scared of what might happen if you told her again—and this time she didn’t laugh.

so you stayed there. shoulder to shoulder. her jacket wrapped around you. the silence between you humming, like static in your chest.

you didn’t know why you kept saying yes to hanni’s invitations—to the music, to the rooms filled with too many voices and too many people and the throb of the bass in your ribs. you told yourself it wasn’t the parties that drew you in. wasn’t the alcohol either—god, never again. not the chaos or the sweat or the smoke curling in other people’s lungs.

no. you knew what it was. you knew who it was.

because no matter where the party was, no matter how late it started or how tired you felt beforehand, you always found minji there. perched somewhere quiet—on the edge of a couch, crouched on the stairs, sitting cross-legged on the floor with her back against the wall. and always with a bottle of apple cider in her hands.

you were drawn to her like tides to the moon.

tonight was no different. you spotted her in the corner of someone’s too-big lounge, the party bleeding around her in shades of red and purple and half-spilled drinks. her hair was tucked behind one ear, soft fringe resting just above her lashes.

you didn’t even think twice. you walked straight over and sat beside her.

“hey,” you said.

she looked at you and smiled. “hey.”

you let the silence sit for a while. it wasn’t awkward. it never was, not with her. but tonight, the air between you buzzed a little more like something wanted to be said.

and it was minji who said it.

 “so…” she began, fingers curling around her bottle, “about that night. the call.”

you blinked. oh.

“you were drunk,” she added gently. “but you said you wanted to give this thing a try.”

you looked at your knees. “i don’t remember saying that.”

what a lie. you remembered every word.

she didn’t call you out on it.

“i like being close to you,” minji said, almost shy. “i like us. like… this. but i don’t know if i want a relationship right now.”

your heart dropped and stuttered. but you caught it and forced your voice into something cool and steady.

“good,” you said, a little too fast. “i don’t even like you that much.”

you didn’t look at her—couldn’t—because that wasn’t true. because it was easier to lie than admit how badly you wanted her.

minji hummed. she didn’t sound convinced, but she let it go.

“what if we just… i don’t know. stayed friends. but, like, closer?”

you turned to her slowly. “closer?”

she nodded, cheeks pink from either the cider or the nerves. “friends with benefits?” she said.

your mouth opened. then closed. then opened again.

 “how would that even work?”

she shrugged, smiling small.

 “we hang out like always. hold hands sometimes. maybe… maybe kiss too?”

your throat went dry. “kiss?”

“only if you want,” she said quickly, eyes wide. “i mean—it’s just an idea. like—i don’t want to make things weird—”

you leaned in and you kissed her.

she tasted like apple cider and lightning caught in glass—sweet, sharp, fleeting. her lips were soft, deliberate, far too careful for something that should've stayed careless.

minji held your face like a secret, not a sin. her thumb ghosted over your cheek before she kissed you again, slow and aching, like she'd dreamt of this and never dared to speak it.

when you pulled away, your chest was thudding.

minji laughed breathlessly. “so… that’s a yes, then?”

you nodded, trying not to look too dazed.

 “yeah. totally. yes. friends.”

“with benefits.”

“yeah. that too.”

you both sat back, side by side, faces warm. someone in the room whooped as a new song came on. someone else knocked over a bottle. but all you could hear was the way your pulse tripped over itself when minji reached down and laced her fingers through yours like it was the most normal thing in the world.

this was fine. this was totally fine.

just friends. just kissing. just… whatever this was.

the next morning felt too normal.

sunlight spilled across the shared dorm like it hadn’t witnessed a kiss that wasn’t supposed to feel the way it did. you rolled over in your bed, the ache in your chest gentle but present. hanni was already gone for class, her side of the room neatly made, her books stacked like soldiers.

you stayed in bed for a while, eyes tracing the patterns of light on the ceiling.

you were friends with benefits now. whatever that meant.

the words sounded too clinical for what had happened last night. for the way minji had held your face in her hands like you were something to be cradled, not consumed. for the way her thumb had brushed your cheek before she kissed you again.

you got up. you dressed. you told yourself you wouldn’t overthink it.

then you saw her.

on the lawn, by the trees near the old library. she sat in the sun like she belonged to it. when she looked up and smiled, you forgot what it meant to breathe right.

you walked over, your pulse flickering in your wrists.

 “hey,” you said, settling beside her on the grass.

“hey,” she echoed, eyes trailing over your face.

 she didn’t say anything else. not at first.

you sat there for a moment. the breeze tugged gently at your jumper and ruffled your hair.

minji reached out, fingers brushing a strand of hair from your cheek.

 “your hair’s kind of messy today.”

“i just woke up.”

she hummed. “it’s cute.”

you didn’t know what to say to that. your throat closed around words that didn’t exist yet.

“so,” you said, pretending the grass between your fingers was more interesting than her mouth. “are we really doing this?”

“doing what?” she asked, teasing.

you gave her a look. she gave you one right back.

“we said we’d try,” she said softly. “being friends. but closer.”

you glanced at her. “it already feels… close.”

minji tilted her head.

 “too close?”

you weren’t sure what the right answer was.

“no,” you said. “just enough.”

she smiled again, quiet and unreadable. you wondered if she felt the way you did—like everything between you was edged with something soft and dangerous.

you talked for a while. about class. about hanni’s awful taste in cereal. about how minji was convinced she saw a ghost in the humanities building once.

and the whole time, her hand sat too close to yours on the grass.

not touching. but not not touching.

and every time you looked at her, your chest did that strange fluttery thing again.

you told yourself it didn’t mean anything.

it was just part of the arrangement. just a benefit.

the problem with feelings was that they never stayed hidden for long. not in university halls where voices echoed, where glances lingered too obviously, where everyone had too much time to notice the small things.

like the way you and minji always found each other in a room. like the way her hand brushed your back when she passed behind you. like how you always sat too close. smiled too easily.

you weren’t dating. you weren’t even really… anything.

just friends. just friends who kissed sometimes.

“you guys act like a couple.”

the words came from someone across the lunch table. you didn’t even catch who said it. one of hanni’s friends maybe. someone who’d seen you and minji sharing a laugh over shared fries and a shared bottle of apple cider.

you laughed, out of instinct. so did minji.

but her smile faltered.

you saw it. the small break in her expression. the way her eyes shifted away from yours.

“we’re not,” she said, brushing crumbs off her lap. “just close, that’s all.”

you nodded like it was obvious. like your heart hadn’t just dropped to your stomach.

when the topic shifted and laughter bubbled around you again, you stayed quiet. minji leaned back in her chair, cool and composed, but she wouldn’t meet your eyes.

you both knew it didn’t feel like friendship.

not when her pinky brushed yours under the table and your breath caught. not when her perfume clung to your clothes hours after she’d gone. not when she said your name in that soft voice she only used for you.

it was maddening.

you walked back to your dorm alone later. hanni had peeled off to get a smoothie, minji had waved goodbye like nothing was strange.

but it was strange.

you were friends. you weren’t supposed to crave her hand in yours. you weren’t supposed to look at her and wonder if she thought about kissing you again.

you weren’t supposed to want more.

but you did. god, you did.

and that terrified you.

you curled into your bed that night, blanket pulled up to your chin, eyes burning holes into the ceiling.

your phone buzzed once— a text from minji:

u home safe?

you stared at it for a long time before typing back:

yeah thanks

you didn’t add a heart. you didn’t say you missed her. but the thought clung to you like smoke.

you missed her in the space between one minute and the next. you missed her like she was already slipping away.

you were just waiting for hanni outside the café when he walked up to you. button-down shirt, too much cologne, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

you didn’t know his name. probably had a literature class together. maybe he’d seen you sit next to minji.

“hey,” he said, leaning on the low brick wall. “you’re y/n, right?”

you nodded, polite. “yeah?”

“i’ve seen you around. you’re in dr. choi’s module?”

you nodded again. he smiled like he’d already won.

“i was wondering…” he tilted his head, voice dropping a little, “are you free this saturday?”

you blinked. you weren’t expecting that. you glanced past his shoulder like hanni might save you, but she wasn’t there yet.

you opened your mouth to respond—

“she’s not,” came a voice beside you.

minji.

she stepped forward, calm but sharp around the edges. her eyes didn’t leave his.

 “she’s not free. not saturday. not ever.”

you stared. so did the guy.

“who the hell are you?” he asked, scoffing. “her secretary?”

minji didn’t flinch. instead, she turned to you, grabbed your hand gently and kissed you.

right on the lips. firm. soft. sure. like she meant it.

your heart shot up to your throat. your knees went weak.

when she pulled away, she turned back to him.

 “i’m her girlfriend,” she said.

he sputtered something under his breath, rolled his eyes, and walked away.

your hand was still in hers.

minji let go the second he disappeared around the corner. you were left standing there, stunned, your lips tingling, your thoughts scattered.

“…what the fuck was that?” you managed.

she shrugged, brushing hair behind her ear. “you looked uncomfortable.”

“so you kissed me?”

“like we haven't done that before. and it worked, didn’t it?” she said, too casual. but her eyes flicked away, like she couldn’t hold your gaze.

you stepped closer.  “minji.”

“what?”

“you told him you were my girlfriend.”

another shrug. “he wouldn’t have left otherwise.”

“but—”

“it didn’t mean anything,” she said quickly. “just a way to get him to back off.”

the words landed with a strange thud in your chest.

right. it didn’t mean anything. except it did. it meant something to you.

you could still feel the heat of her lips on yours. you could still taste her and something soft and warm you couldn’t name.

and you weren’t sure if you were more hurt or hopeful.

you didn’t talk about the kiss. not once.

not the way her lips fit against yours like they’d always meant to be there. not the way her voice softened when she said girlfriend.

no one brought it up. not minji, not you. the tension that had pulsed under your skin for days seemed to… fade.

you were just friends again. 

except she held your hand more often now. and she brushed her fingers against yours when you walked side by side. she would sit too close on the grass behind the library, your knees brushing as she passed you her half-empty can of apple cider.

except she laughed at things you didn’t even realise were funny. except her voice in the morning sounded like it was meant only for you.

the parties still came and went, lights blurring in your memory, music pulsing in your ears. but you stayed sober now. so did she—always sitting in some quiet corner, sipping the same warm cider, watching the world spin a little too fast.

you didn’t kiss again. not even once.

you didn’t need to. not when you shared everything else.

she asked about your coursework, your dreams, your favourite memories from childhood. you told her about your dog who once chewed through your school shoes and the way your mum used to sing in the kitchen when it rained. 

she told you about late summer bike rides and how she couldn’t sleep unless she had her window cracked open a little.

you didn’t mind how close you sat, how her shoulder brushed against yours when you read together on the library steps, or how your hands lingered for a moment longer than necessary when you passed her something.

she made you laugh until your cheeks ached. she knew when you needed silence. she touched your wrist when you zoned out in lectures, just lightly, enough to bring you back.

and sometimes you caught yourself staring. watching the way she tapped her pen against her notes. watching the way the sunlight curved around her face like even the day was in love with her.

it hurt. not sharply. not the way your ex did, tearing through you like glass. this was duller—a quiet ache. because you knew this might be as far as you’d ever get. close, but not quite.

you’d never get to call her yours. you’d never kiss her just because you felt like it. you’d never know what it was like to love her out loud.

but she was here. she was your friend. she sat beside you, sometimes with her head on your shoulder.

and that was enough. you told yourself it was. you had her in this soft, in-between way. not a lover, but not nothing either.

you could talk to her about anything, from the stupid details of your day to the things you’d never say to anyone else. you could laugh with her, walk with her, sit with her.

and yet, you never could quite shake the feeling that the two of you weren’t really allowed to be anything more. every touch, every shared moment, felt like an unspoken agreement: this was all it could be.

sometimes you’d catch her looking at you, too. with that soft expression you couldn’t place. and you’d wonder if she felt the same pull in her chest, the same ache that curled low in your stomach. but it never came up—not once—and you were fine with that. you kept telling yourself you were fine with that.

it was enough to be close to her—to have her in your life, no matter how it was framed.

but every now and then, the thought would creep in, quiet but insistent — what if? what if she wanted more? what if you were just too afraid to admit it?

you didn’t have answers. you didn’t need to.

because for now, it was enough. and maybe that was all you could ask for.

you didn’t even want to be at the party. but there you were. the music thumped under your skin, same as always. the lights were too bright, the bodies pressed too close. but it was warm, and minji was there, and that was enough.

she found you almost instantly. or maybe you found her—you weren’t sure anymore. it always felt like the two of you drifted together by some invisible string.

“come on,” she said, nudging your elbow. “let’s do something stupid.”

you raised an eyebrow. “define stupid.”

minji grinned, eyes glittering like she’d swallowed stars. “we try actual alcohol.”

you stared at her like she’d grown a second head. “you hate alcohol.”

“so do you.”

“exactly.”

“but,” she said, holding up two little red cups filled with something suspicious and vaguely fizzy, “we hate it together.”

you laughed despite yourself. “fine. one sip.”

you clinked your cups like it was something to celebrate.

and then you both drank. and immediately gagged.

“oh my god—” you coughed, fanning your mouth. “that tastes like petrol and regret.”

minji was wheezing beside you, her face scrunched in pure betrayal. “what the hell was that?”

you wiped your mouth with your sleeve, nose wrinkled. “now how in the hell did i get drunk drinking this?”

“that’s what i’m saying. how did you manage to drink this stuff?” she asked, still making a face.

you nodded, leaning your weight against the counter behind you. “i was alone and heartbroken. leave me alone.”

minji turned to you slowly, lips quirking. “if i leave you, you’re gonna be alone and heartbroken again?”

you blinked, caught off-guard.

the party around you blurred, faded, muffled into nothing.

you looked at her—at the soft curl of her mouth and the way her eyes searched yours with something unreadable.

 you swallowed.

“who said you had my heart in your hands?”

“do i?” she asked, almost too quiet.

“yeah,” you said. simple. truth.

she tilted her head, lips parted. “i thought you didn’t like me that much.”

you breathed out a shaky laugh. “well,” you muttered, “i’m a lying liar who lies. what do you want from me?”

minji stepped closer, and the space between you folded in on itself.

her voice was barely a whisper now. “a kiss?”

you didn’t answer. you didn’t need to.

you leaned in, met her halfway, and kissed her.

it wasn’t messy. it wasn’t frantic. it was soft, sure—like it was always supposed to happen.

her hand found the side of your neck, thumb brushing your jaw like she was afraid you’d disappear. you felt her smile against your mouth, and something warm bloomed in your chest.

it didn’t feel platonic. it didn’t feel casual.

it felt real. too real.

you pulled back first, blinking, trying to catch your breath.

minji was still close, her forehead nearly resting against yours.

neither of you said anything for a moment. then she laughed. quietly. breathlessly. and reached over to steal your untouched bottle of apple cider from the counter.

“let’s never do shots again.”

you nodded. “agreed.”

and maybe the world was still spinning, and the music was still too loud, but suddenly you didn’t care.

because she kissed you. and you kissed her back.

and maybe you were both liars. but this? this felt true.

the tension was unbearable. like walking through air thick with smoke—clinging to your skin, caught in your throat, leaving you breathless without even knowing why.

you were still doing it. still pretending you didn’t care. still smiling like everything was fine when the weight of everything unsaid pressed into your ribcage like a bruise.

minji hadn’t kissed you in days. she held your hand still. sat close. sent you little playlists at night and laughed at your stupid jokes like she always had. but there was space between her sentences now.

you felt it before you could name it—the shift—like something slipping between your fingers and you didn’t realise you were holding it until it was almost gone.

minji hadn’t grown cold. not exactly. but she was the slightest bit distant now—like her thoughts had moved just a little too far for you to reach. like every smile she gave you was wrapped in hesitation.

and maybe you were the same. maybe the weight of pretending had worn you both thin. maybe the silence between you wasn’t easy anymore—maybe it never really was.

“are you gonna lose another girl because you’re too scared to admit you care?”

hanni had said it casually, half-curled under her blanket, scrolling through her phone like she hadn’t just lobbed a grenade into your chest.

you froze. she didn’t mean to sound harsh. but she was right.

minji wasn’t your ex. she wasn’t the same kind of heartbreak. but she could be, if you let her slip away.

and tonight—no party, no loud music, no crowd pressing in around you—you realised how heavy the quiet could be.

just you. just minji. two bottles of cider on your desk. and a single lamp painting the room in warm gold.

you were curled up on your bed, knees pulled to your chest, while minji sat cross-legged on the floor, her back to your dresser. she looked tired. but not in a way sleep could fix.

“we haven’t talked in a while,” you said softly.

“we talk all the time,” she said, almost teasing.

“not really.”

and there it was. the truth sitting between you, unsaid.

she stared at her bottle. tilted it in slow circles.

 “yeah,” she murmured. “you’re right.”

you wanted to say something clever. something that would lighten the air or make her smile. but the truth pressed against your ribs, and this time, you didn’t push it down.

“i’m scared,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “i was so sure i couldn’t feel anything after her. after what happened. but then you showed up. and now i don’t know how to feel. or how not to.”

minji didn’t shift away. she didn’t even blink. just asked, softly, “do you still miss her?”

you closed your eyes.

 “not the way i miss you when you're quiet for too long.”

minji breathed out. it sounded like a sigh and a laugh at the same time.

 “you’re an idiot,” she said gently. “you kept saying you didn’t even like me that much.”

“i lied.”

minji looked up.

“i kept telling myself it was nothing. that i didn’t like you that much. but that wasn’t true. it was never true.”

 you swallowed. “i just didn’t want to lose you.”

she was quiet for a long while. then—

“me too,” she said.

you blinked.

“i didn’t want to lose you either,” she went on. “you were still grieving someone else, and i didn’t want to get in the way of that. and maybe it was easier to just pretend, like… friends. no feelings. no risk.”

 she gave a small laugh. “but we suck at pretending, don’t we?”

you nodded. your throat ached.

“i kept thinking,” she said, “that if i didn’t say anything, we’d stay fine. that we’d stay close. but it hurt anyway. even when we were holding hands or sharing a bed or laughing like idiots at 2am… it hurt.”

you shifted to the edge of the bed, leaning your arms on your knees. minji looked at you, and you looked back, and this time there was no running. no pretending.

“i think i liked you from the start. i just… i didn’t want to ruin it.”

minji’s eyes flicked down. then up. her voice was careful. “you didn’t ruin it.”

you waited. and then—finally—she said, “even if we’re just friends… we could be more than that.”

you exhaled. like the whole world had been holding its breath and finally let go.

you slid off the bed and sat beside her on the floor.

you didn’t kiss her—you didn’t reach for her in that way. you just leaned in, close enough that your foreheads touched. close enough to hear her heart. close enough to stay.

and you did—you stayed.

you stayed like that. just breathing. just being.

just figuring it out.

[judebelle]

been thinking ab joao and reader hooking up behind his teammates backs'... like they've been "involved" for a while but sometimes the tension is too much and they have to sneak away iykwim ;)

sneaky - j.f. x reader

a/n : omfg anon ur gonna be the death of meeeeeee!! also i made this kinda long since i havent posted in a while, oops..

pairing : joao felix x fem!reader

word count : 2.3k

summary : joao and u prefer to keep your love life private, secret even, but the the flirty looks and knowing smirks from across the room are becoming unbearable.

cw : smut obv, lil bit of alejandro x reader, sneaky joao and reader, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it ppl), make outs, cursing, me not bothering to accent his name lol sorry

---

you were starting to regret going out to dinner with your friend alejandro and his teammates.

the only reason why being that one of his teammates had become more.

hooking up with joao felix on the down low has been fun, you won't lie. and while you enjoy sneaky quickies and flirty messages, there were times where you wish you could just tear off his clothes and fuck that smug smile right off his face.

you were currently sitting in a restaurant, a private room and table was booked for alejandro, his barcelona teammates, and their plus ones. you and alejandro had become inseparable ever since you met in spain a few years ago, and you had grown increasingly close to his teammates.

very close to a certain mr felix.

the first time you met joao, it wasn't anything magical, you just thought he was fit. alejandro had introduced you to him when he came on loan to barca recently, and you just couldn't get him out of your head.

it seems that the feelings were mutual, as that very same night he followed you on instagram. you, of course, played it cool and took your time following him back (you waited like 10 seconds).

from there, you two messaged often, especially after the team would hang out.

joaofelix79 : u got home safe?

ynsusername : ofc i did

ynsusername : alejandro wouldn't let anything happen to me

joaofelix79 : that's good.

you two started messaging more, sometimes even calling each other late in the night. you couldn't explain why, maybe he was just fun to talk to.

you would complain to him about work, and he would complain about a mistake he made in training.

eventually, you two started hanging out alone.

not anything crazy, of course.

joaofelix79 : hey

joaofelix79 : js noticed im about to drive by ur place

joaofelix79 : wanna get some ice cream? my treat

how could you refuse that?

it wasn't all that shocking to you when a surprise ice cream date turned out into a steamy make out session on a bench in a park in the middle of the night.

"we should stop, someone might see us.." you murmured against the portuguese boy's lips, you yourself making no effort to.

"ok, if that's what you want." he pulled away from you, his fluffy hair disheveled thanks to you.

"5 more minutes" you placed your lips on his again, feeling him smile against them.

from there, weekly hangouts became almost nightly. he would pick you up in his car, and you would drive anywhere. you just needed an excuse to make out. you even put your number in his phone.

eventually, joao grew tired of the make outs that led to nothing, and you did too.

12:03 am - joao : wyd

12:03 am - you : was ab to put some instant noodles in the microwave lol

12:04 am - joao : dont bother

12:04 am - joao : come eat at my place

12:05 am - joao : i ordered uber eats

of course, you went, and you two ate the chinese takeout he bought. you two sat and laughed together at his attempt at using chopsticks.

and then you found yourself perched on his kitchen counter, him in between your legs while he rammed into you mercilessly. you left red marks across his back and biceps.

"my god, you feel amazing, querida." joao's words were muffled as his head was nuzzled into your neck, his lips caressing your hot skin with every word he spoke.

"i'm so fucking close, joao.." you whined and whispered curses while your hands found themselves travelling from his arms to his hair, tugging on the soft brown locks.

"let go, y/n, i'm close too!" he removed his flushed face from your neck and connected your lips together again, breathing heavily into your mouth.

you came undone with a sharp whine, arching into him. his thrusts became sloppy as he let out a long groan against your lips, releasing into the condom.

that was the first time you two had fucked, and it definitely would not be the last.

his house was usually where you two would hook up because it was so big, and you didn't have to worry about anything when you were there.

you two fucked anywhere - on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, even in the laundry room.

you found that it didn't really matter where you were. if either of you were craving the other, it happened right then and there. it was fun. it kept you on your toes, kept things fresh and fun.

but it became a curse when you two were at a team dinner.

---

"si, i told him he could go fuck off if that was what he wanted. that guy needs to learn some manners, for fucks sake!"

the table erupted in laughs as pedro went on about some story that you weren't really paying attention to to be honest. you were sat right beside your good friend, alejandro, who was very intrigued in pedro's story and hadn't spoken to you more than twice this evening.

across from you was joao. he was wearing a black dress shirt that hugged his biceps perfectly along with black dress pants. of course, to make your life more difficult, the top two shirt buttons weren't done up.

one more open button and everyone would've seen the hickey you gave him the other-

"isn't that right, y/n?"

alejandro was speaking to you, and you were too busy staring at joao's biceps to hear him.

"hmm? sorry?"

"i said, it was you who i walked in on dancing silently in the darkness darkness of your room, right?" alejandro smirked at the sight of your cheeks going red, this memory being nothing short of embarrassing to you.

"yup, that- uh- that was me..!" you looked down in humiliation as the table giggled at alejandro's unexpected story about you. he loved embarrassing you, it was his thing. he found it fun because he thought of you like a little sister.

you looked up to see joao, laughing along with everyone else at the table, finding amusement in your misery. you shot him a playful glare.

"i'm only teasing, mi corazón." alejandro chuckled before ruffling your hair. "ale!" you whined, fixing your hair. his friends teased you. they all thought of you as their little sister, especially you being one of the younger ones.

the men continued on with their conversations as you continued looking at joao from your end of the table, only this time, he was looking at you too.

he was taking a slow sip of his water, eyeing you down.

joao wasn't the only one dressed all sexy tonight. you wore a short black satin strapless dress that hugged your figure perfectly. you thought of joao when you picked it out, you thought of him while putting it on, and you thought of him taking it off.

it seems that joao had the same thought. the way he looked at you from under his lashes gave you the impression that your outfit choice was a smart one.

you sent him a quick wink.

he smirked and dropped his eyes to your cleavage, widening them.

you rolled yours before continuing to eat your steak.

---

you couldn't take it anymore.

something the way he laughed with everyone at the table, his hair flowing when he turned his head. he had on a gold rolex and a gold chain, both glistening under the lighting over the table.

it was the way he carried himself with such confidence. he knew he was hot, and he knew you knew it too. that confidence definitely carried over into bed.

finally, you got up from the table, excusing yourself to "make a call".

shooting joao a quick look, he took the hint. his eyes followed you, watching you exit the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. after an agonizing 30 seconds or so, joao told everyone he forgot something in his car, and made a beeline to where he saw you last.

he saw you standing outside his car, waiting for him. he made his way towards you.

"so, who did you have to call?" he teased, his eyes waiting for your reaction. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, "very funny.".

you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you leaned against his car. he smiled down at you before looking over your figure.

"nice dress.."

"just take it off."

---

you two had squeezed into the back of his car, leaving nothing but surrounding street lights as your light source. you straddled his waist, rocking your hips while you smashed your lips against his. you two were breathing heavily, occasionally breaking the kiss to huff and puff before going back at it again.

joao's arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand occasionally sliding down to cup and smack your ass. his actions made you yelp into the kiss. your arms were everywhere. cupping his face, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his chest, on his abs.

it was like you two hadn't seen each other in years. like you were drowning and the only way to breathe was.. this.

your smooth rocking of the hips created a hard bulge in joao's pants which felt great on your throbbing clit. he groaned into the kiss, breaking it for you to breathe and to leave kisses down your neck.

"so, fucking, horny" he broke each word with a kiss. you moaned above him. "you can't even last one dinner party without my hands all over you?" you wanted him to shut up, so you grabbed his face in your hand and smashed your lips against his.

you started unbuttoning his shirt, but your hands were too shaky to do it quickly. "take this off, god damnit!" you groaned as he laughed and began unbuttoning it himself. you hiked your dress up and helped him with the last few buttons.

you moved his shirt partially off him, leaving it on his arms since you couldn't be bothered. you leaned down to kiss his chest while looking up at him. he was smiling down at you, hands rested behind his head.

he brought you back up to pull the top of your dress down just enough so that your tits would pop out. when they did, he licked his lips. now it was his turn to lean down and suck on them, making you tilt your head back and pant.

"joao, we dont have time for this-"

"shhh, patience princesa. don't worry." he went back to sucking.

"they're going to realize we're gone- joao!"

he couldn't bring himself to leave your tits alone, but when he did, you quickly reached down and undid his belt , not even bothering to pull it off.

"estás mesmo excitado, não é?" (you're really excited, aren't you?)

you nodded and bit your lip.

he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. you raised yourself up on your knees and hovered over his dick. he held it up with one hand, the other resting on your hip.

"are you ready for me?" he teased.

"enough questions." you cut his teasing short as you took his cock in your hands yourself and sunk down on him.

joao hissed at the unexpected pleasure. he looked up at you, gasping for air above him before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"move for me, bebé."

you did as you were told, lifting your hips up until just the tip of him was left in you, before sinking back down on him, agonizingly slow.

he shuddered at the feeling.

you picked up the pace, causing the car to rock. your tits bounced in his face, causing him to twitch inside you.

"fuck, y/n, you're amazing-" you laugh breathlessly above him, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while his gripped your hips tightly.

after some time, your thighs were burning, and you were getting tired. joao picked this up, taking control. his grip on your hips was put to some use as he moved your hips up and down for you. he lifted and dropped you so easily and made you move so much faster. you felt the air leave your lungs and arched your back to stick your tits in his face.

he grinned as he thrusted his hips up, meeting you in the middle. he tilted your body back, and started to hit the spot inside you that made you see white.

your pants and gasps turned into moans and whines as you felt the bundle of heat in your core.

"joao, i'm close" you warned, your nails digging into his shoudlers.

"i'm right there with you, baby, oh," he groaned and grunted as he watched him drill into you faster and faster. "meu deus, foda-se!" (my god, fuck!) he hissed with gritted teeth as he felt you clench around him.

his pace was too much for you to hold back. you let go with a gasp and moan, your hand slamming and sliding down the steamy car window, leaving a print.

joao was, indeed, right there with you. he pulled your body off of him and set you down on his thighs hastily before stroking his red, throbbing cock, cumming all over your stomach with a string of grunts and pants.

you both sat there in the hot and dark car in disbelief, covered in sweat and panting, after having the most mind blowing sex you've ever had. you leaned your forehead against his and smiled. he chuckled before teasing you once more.

"let's go. we don't want to miss dessert, do we?"

[sucodegoiaba88]

Wait whoops I js reread the rules n it said no gender specific IM SORRY LMAO😭

I dooo have another request for u tho since u said u wanna write!!

Could we get a Cho Hyun-Ju (yes another cuz I love her) x reader where we realize we have feelings for her n rant to it about to one of the players (maybe the old lady who gives us advice n teases) n dont notice that shes nearby, basically hearing everything we say until we notice n freeze up n then move away in embarassment which leads to us avoiding her cuz were nervous n dont wanna be seen vulnerable?

- gotcha!! : ★

featuring: hyun-ju cho x reader.

summary: you have a massive crush on your friend and don't know what to do, so you seek help. And who is a better help at giving advice than the elders? However, a certain someone also heard your little talk.

warnings: none.

genre: fluff.

A/N: YOUNG-MI LIVES YAAAY

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

➤ "Please, you guys need to help me!"

Jang could only watch your absolutely flustered face while Young-mi cutely laughed by her side. Your request was unusual, and she was sure that if she somehow was starting to understand the youngsters, all of that effort was going through the drain right now.

"Di-did she say something a-about me?"

Young-mi only busted out laughing once more as Yonsik held his own. Jang could only hold an annoyed expression, while the other two were clearly having the time of their lives.

"How are we supposed to know, you buffoon! She is your close friend, not ours!" Jang said, her patience running thin.

"Don't be so mean!!" you protested with a huge pout on your deep red face.

After a good pause for them to laugh at your attempts of asking them about Hyun-ju, Young-mi finally managed to catch her breath. You have never seen the small girl laugh so much in her entire life (not that you knew her for a long period of time anyways).

"Maybe you should try talking to her personally, Unnie." she adviced you. Even if she still found the newfound situation incredibly funny, she still hoped the best for you and Hyun-ju. Both of you were good people who helped her when she needed the most, and she couldn't be more grateful. She really looked up to you two, and sometimes you felt like you couldn't disappoint her.

"Well, maybe i could give it a try. I wouldn't want to risk the friendship we already have. But, by the way, where is she?" you asked, confused on why she still wasn't by their usual spot already.

"She said she was going to the bathroom, maybe you should go after her! Ha!" Yonsik said in a teasing manner, but the idea didn't seem so bad to you. You hesitantly get up, ignoring Yonsik's teasing and giving Young-mi a slight pet, and only after heading to the bathroom.

However, as you crossed a certain turn in the mess of beds, you stumbled across no one other than Hyun-ju herself.

"Hyun-ju...?"

She was beaming red. Her usual composed manner fading slightly when she saw you. You could quickly tell she had heard every word that came out of your mouth.

" -i need to go."

"No, please, stay."

Both of you were trembling. In her case, it was anxiety. But in yours, you have never felt so embarrassed in your entire life.

Was she about to reject you? To end your friendship? To say that you were gross to even think about her in such ways, and-

"Can we talk?" she asked after recomposing herself, albeit not completely.

"We don't need to. I understand and accept it. I'm so sorry for even thinking about our friendship in that way, i..." for a long moment, you were at a loss for words. What were you thinking for even-

"I feel the same way. I have felt, for a long while."

. . .

Now that's what you weren't expecting.

"Could you- Hyun-ju, could you please repeat what you just said? I don't think I've heard you well."

"I love you."

-

"These 2 are taking too long in the bathroom! Do you think they-" he was quickly smacked by his mother before he could even begin to mutter another word.

"Let then be."

★ . ★ . ★ . ★

[transmascaraa]

Hi!!! Im not used to requesting but i just thought of this, could you write a scenario where the reader, does the trend where you pretend to pet a dog/cat like you drag your hand over there head like your about to pet them, but you dont? and they lean into it and dont understand what your doing? i hope you get what i mean!! sorry if i was unclear... 💗💗

(with gorou, itto, lyney, tighnari, maybe neuvilette or zhongli?? and anyone else you want)

multiple characters headcannons!

not petting them.

characters: lyney, gorou, itto, tighnari, neuvillette, zhongli x gn!reader

author's note: ofcccc i think that's a really cute idea!! especially with the specific characters you requested lol hope you enjoy

♡ Lyney

-it is pure evil doing this to him

-you slide your hand over his head and just keep it there.

-he leans into it confusedly.

-"what are you doing?" with his pully dog eyes.

-"nothing, why?" you boldly reply.

-he thought you were about to let him.

-so he just stops leaning into your hand and does the same to you, keeping his hand over your head like that.

-"what?" you ask him.

-"how does it feel to not be petted properly?"

-you just put his hand back down and kiss him on the cheek, telling him it's a prank.

-he just goes red for the rest of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿⁠ Gorou

-also pure evil that you're doing this to an actual dog(i would too)

-so just randomly in the day, you come to him, who is in the living room on the couch.

-"need anything?" he asks.

-"no." and that's when you looked as if you were gonna pet him, but you didn't.

-after a few seconds of just staring at eachother while he leans his head into your hand, his tail wagging slowly— he questions you:

-"hm? you can pet me, i don't bite, do i?"

-"nope, wasn't even planning to." and you put your hand back down.

-"you're really mean, y'know?" he says irritatedly.

-"mhm." and you pat him on the head just then.

-he might be a bit sassy throughout the day but not like it bothers you lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⑅ Itto

-never written for this guy yet but ok i hope he doesn't turn out ooc or smthn

-so, you go up to him once, talk a bit.

-js everyday talk as if you're not planning to do this to him rn

-and you finally do it, leaving your hand above his head, only brushing against his horns faintly.

-he leans into it, confused about what the hell you're doing.

-"what's that supposed to mean? are you trying to trick ME? the ONE and ONI itto?"

-"no, i didn't want to pet you."

-"liar, liar, pants on fire. i've already seen that trend!" so he did the same to you, trying to mock you.

-"it wasn't the trend-" you try justifying yourself but he cuts you off—

-"then what, you just randomly float your hand above my head? what's that supposed to be? a ufo? i don't think so!!" sassy idiot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Tighnari

-he doesn't keep up with the trends at all so you're kinda safe with doing it to him

-so you do it while he's researching something

-some plant idk

-and you come to his room all of a sudden.

-"what do you want? i'm a bit busy now...." he says while giving you a slight smile from his desk.

-"nothing at all, don't worry." so you come up to him and drag your hand over his head, him thinking you'd pet him for being hardworking.

-"why don't you pet me, hm? something wrong?" he's so fucking confused

-"nope, everything's fine." you can't stand to see him so needy of you petting him so you actually pet him.

-"thank you. now go, i hope it's not another trend you're doing."

-"well........... about that—"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☆ Neuvillette

-he'd be the most confused out of all these guys(excluding itto)

-he was working on some papers with you near him, as you usually do.

-sharing a few words here and there, and then you just act as if you'd pet him (which you ofc don't do)

-"hm? love? what are you doing?" he raises his head from his papers and looks at you instead.

-"nothing."

-"you can pet me if you want?.." he slowly takes your hand himself and puts it on his head.

-so now you just keep you hand still on his head.

-"my dear, what are you doing?" he doesn't understand a single thing happening.

-you just shrugged as he then continued doing his paperwork.

-that's when you decided to just pet him as you wanted to at the start, seeing him smile at you from the side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Zhongli

-ehh so i feel like he would know about trends but never expect you to do one of them to him personally

-and you basically decide to take action mid-talk with him.

-"yes, and i've also heard about- what are you doing?" he gets cut off by your hand above his head.

-"nothing, you can continue." you reply innocently.

-"uhm.. okay? so as i was saying, recently, i've heard about how furina is doing currently in fontaine, and i can say i'm very impressed, she has- why are you laughing?" he asks with a confused smile on his face.

-you continue laughing for a bit longer until you actually pet him.

-"it was a prank-" you can't continue due to laughing at him.

-he's confused but also smiling at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i hope nothing was too ooc

this was fun

hope you liked it :p

| @mischievouseal | @mariaace <3

[romanscoming]

“YOU DID SO GOOD PRINCESS, SOO GOOD .”

FIANCÉ!KANG DAE-HO [ PLAYER 388 ] x FIANCÉE!BLACK!READER SMUTTY SMUT

TAGLIST ! | REQUEST ! | WATTPAD ! VISUAL PORN 1 !

NEW TAGLIST MAKE SURE TOO JOIN !!

a/n - ive been watching a bunch—when i say i bunch .. literally a bunch of korean movies and shows with gong yoo, t.o.p ( , lee jung jae, yim siwan & kang ha-neul just wait til im fluent in korean; gong yoo plays in a lotttt of show nd i didnt notice .

ASKED ? [ YES, AND YES ¡ ]

SUMMARY - what do you do when your welcomed home by your wife in her new dress [she looks fuckin incredible], she’s wearing to a event in 20-30ish minutes .. you tell her get ‘your sexy ass on the couch right now’ … nd you fuck her senseless —a quickie .

¡ WARNING !

— dae-ho being aggressive, soft!dom dae-ho, quickie, creamypie, pussyeating, pussywhipped, begging kink, praising kink, .. use of cum eating yada yada yada .. yk the drill .

—

YOU HAD JUST GOT FINISHED GETTING DRESS, NOW ADDING OIL TO YOUR CHEST TO MAKE YOUR SKIN GLOW .. a knock-knock-knock was at the door .

you quickly slipped on ur heels and fixed your hair, before rushing to apartment door .

.. dae-ho .

your amazingly handsome husband, in his well fitting suit and a charming smile with a beautiful bouquet of lavender roses with the meaning of, ‘love at first sight’

you smiled at him as he stood there gawking over you, at your hair how puffy and fluffy it looked messy just the way he liked it, your face structure how your eyebrown frowned in awe as you looked at him from head to toe, and last how your body fit in that tight dress you were wearing not even thinking before stopping to stare at your breast mesmerize .

“fuck mama—goodness ..” he said letting out a breath he didnt know he was holding in .

he felt as if he was about to lose his mind as you player the roses into the vase on the kitchen island ..

dae-ho didnt even realized his jaw being dropped open and you staring at him; “if you dont close your mouth you might start drooling baby .” you smirked as you came close to him, placing ur hands on his mid arm and kissing his neck .

he quickly closed his mouth and melted in your touch as he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you closer, “you can always touch me dae .. whats mines if yours and whats yours is mines—right my love ?”

he was so dazed and mesmerized he js nodded at your words and dropped his hands from your body—you frown and cupped his face .

“whats the problem—you dont like ?”

dae-ho quickly shook his head no in a heartbeat, he cupped your face back and planted a kiss on your lips and placed his forehead against yours .

“noo- of course my love—i-i im afraid of what id do to you in this dress ..you look fucking amazing .”

you smiled to yourself, letting out a laugh before kissing his cheek, “then ive done my job, hm ?”

dae-ho smiled before looking down at your breast one more before mumbling a small “fucccc—i cant do this.”

before you knew dae-ho had tou ontop of the counter as you both were passionately making out forcing onto one another him in full control .

kisses back to back, pulling away to catch a breathe or steal a quick glance at your breast that looked so amazing in the kitchen lightening — he couldnt help himself .

he started kissing the side of your face, down your jaw and neck making out with it next, sucking and licking all over it as you moaned and pulling him closer by his vest, want more and more of him by the second .

he quickly picked you up as if you weighted nothing to him, carrying you to the couch—placing you down before pulling away and dropping to his knees between your tight .

he whined as you watched him, rubbing your legs up and down as he reached to kiss you again and again, panting to himself before mumbling “[name] .. mm~ please i cant take it—fucc ill be quick i promise.. just need to taste that sweet cunt of your —will you let me baby hm—please .. pretty pretty please ?”

you nodded your head yes, before telling him ‘quickly dae-ho.’ just like he promised he got to work fast .

he had rolled your dress up, placed each of your legs onto one of his shoulders, kissed amongst you thighs getting closer to wear you needed him most .

you shivered at the contact, trying to push your pussy against his face but dae-ho held you in place .

he embraced your scent, kissing your clothed pussy that was soaking through your panties, made out with it for a bit before pulling them off .

finally lips-2-lips with your pussy, dae-ho started to lick your slick as you watched him and he watched your back, maintaining eye contact .

his hot tongue flicked up and down the pearl of your clit making you squirm, he feasted on your pussy, before your head fell to his hair pulling it as it groaned against your cunt making you whine .

your head fell back as tears welled in your eyes as his hand grabbed ahold of your and locked together .

thighs trembling as he was devouring your pussy wet and sloppily, you whinedd as the tears finally fell from your eyes and started to feel dizzy

.. this didnt take long to dae-ho to notice, he pulled away kissing your thighs before breathing against your pussy, “nono-nono princess dont cry, i want you to feel good okay— i promise gonna make you cum on my tongue hm? is that what you want right ?”

you nodded again at his words more tears falling, “yes-yes-ahh~ its too much daaaa~ i cant daeho.. too muchh !”

dae-ho frowned before kissing your cunt, getting yout attention, “no no [name], your gonna take it like a good girl arent you hm ? tell me—tell me now baby cmonn, tell your da”

you quickly nodded holding his hand once again and locking eyes, “yess im gonna take it—ill be a goooo-ahh~ good girll~ i promise daaa mmmgh!”

dae-ho smiled, seconds later his tongue was back flickering at your clit, pressing more wet sloppy kisses as he sucked onto your cunt hungrily, doing circular motion around the pearl before letting it go with a pop

his tongued was lapping you up fast this time, so lost in the addicting taste of your sweet cunt full of wet juices.

the sound of the slurping, wet kisses, wet noises, and your whimpers and moans mixed together filled the open room .

you cried out to dae-ho once again as your thighs quivered helplessly, and thighs squeezed his head as he sucked the soul out of you .

“daaaa~ pleaeeee gonna cummmm—gonna cumm noww i cantt—fucccc ahh-aghh~ !”

you cried softly as he moaned into your pussy, stopping for a second as you started to relax .. he quickly shoved his head back into your pussy he lapped up all of your sweet juices, your sticky white cum unless there was no more left, he placed a kiss onto your clit before moving away and kissing your thighs once again .

looking up to see tour dozing off he smiled, before reaching up to kiss you so passionately .

he even humpped your leg a little bit before kissing among the side of you neck before his hand still held onto your and his other fell to your clit ..

rubbing his closely as tou squirmed and he praised you.

“you did so good princess, soo good—you and your pussy—fucking amazing” he started kissing you again with tongue so you can taste yourself .

“taste that baby—ooohh~ you taste amazing dont you think fuccc—can you give me another ?” he asked still humping your leg repeatedly ..

he’d quickening his fingers on your clit before pushing them inside your cunt and thrusting them in and out .

you moaned at his words nodding at everything, you felt so dizzy and oozy like you were going to pass out, but that didnt stop dae-ho .

“ohh godd-your soooo pretty is this mmhmmmgh~ i cant stoppp-fuccc i might js cum in my pants mm..”

you kissed his lips as your stomach tightened once again knowing your were close, you kissed him soft and deeply before pressing your forehead together

“fuckk—gonna cum with me baby ? hmm fuuuu-fucc~ please cum with me be a good girllll~” he dragged out his words with a moan as you guys both started to sweat and pant together .

“ahhh~ please daaaa faster—faster please!” you begged as his finger moved faster and his hips followed as he started to hump you faster as well .

his body started to twitch, as your body started to felt as if it was going to explode .

“im gonna cummm~ ahh dae-dae-dae please can i?”

he kissed your quick but passionate, before nodding his head thrusting his two fingers fast as his thumb rubbed against your pearl, “cumm, cumm with me princesss, ooo i need it baby please—we’ll cum together.. me and yo—aaaugh~ !”

you smashed your lips onto his as you came and he came right with you, he continued to hump your leg reaching his high as you grinded on his fingers reachinf yours, “i-i love you so muchh—oh my godd” tears were falling from your eyes again .

he kissed your tears and kissed your lips, a soft wet kiss, before pushing you onto the rug with him hugging you tightly, “noo, i love you so much more—thank you baby—thank you so much, princess your amazing mm~ .”

you smiled and kissed his lips, giving him a sloppy wet loving kiss as you looked down for see his wet spot in his pants and see yourself leaking onto his leg

“.. no fancy dinner tonight ?” you laughed seeing how sweaty both of you looked .

dae-ho blushed embarrassed, “no—i got all i need right here .”

——————

ANY MISTAKES LET ME KNOW !

TAGLIST >

@imchenleshoe @yeaiamme2 @partyb0yyyy @luvlest @lousycakes @blxckdesire

[crushh-existz]

Streamer Ellie HCs

Warnings: lower case intended..., NOT proofread at all..., its actually so shit so shh

-loser!ellie who made it through freshman and sophmore year of being a complete loner other than Jesse and Dina keeping her company but even then, she had absolutely no classes with them after freshman year.

-loser!ellie mid sophmore year she got bored and streamed her playing filled fortnite squads (it took her 4 hours trying to set it up with the most grainy ass camera she could find from joel that he used when he worked in customer service. she also got 10 views MAX!!)

-loser!ellie she looked back at the footage after school one day and her ass went onto capcut and put the most stupidest clips she could find of herself and posted it on one of her many alt accounts on tiktok.

after rewatching that bitch at least 20 times and giggling her ass off, she went to bed swaddled in her dino sheets

she didn't even realize she had fallen asleep at around 2 am and woke up super late, forgetting her phone at home

-loser!ellie had to sit through all her classes bored as FUCKK without her brawl stars to get through her boring classes (dont ask it was the stupidest mobile game i could think of and idk anything abt it) and the only game that wasn't locked away by GoGuardian was slope.io (her highscore is 23)

-loser!ellie went about her day as jolly as one who is drowning in assignments could be. she hung out with jesse and dina at lunch and surviving her last two periods before walking home humming her favorite songs pretending she has her phone and wired headphones (that most definately need to be retired after 6 years of torture, half of which were from joel using them)

once she actually got home, kicking off her butchered converse onto her bedroom floor as she flopped onto her bed

-loser!ellie finally got to open her phone to browse through her notifications and streaks dina for some reason made her keep, she noticed a fat chunk of them being from tiktok

at first she thought it was just jesse getting home early and sending her posts but it was actually from her stupid capcut video (she didnt even remove the watermark at the end)

her video for some reason blew up.. she literally flew up to sit on her bed scrolling through all the comments.

"wait why r u actually funny"

"mind you this is my first impression of u"

"why is ur camera quality worse than my dead grandmas health.."

"in my mind we're actually bestfriends come out im in ur closet."

of course among that, theres also random hate comments like

"this pmo" and petty shit like that.

she giggled by replying to them with the most stupidest things

@/player222schesticals im js a natural arent i

@/user283678383257819 i hope it lasts

@/therealauthormorgan911 erm tell her dust i said hi

@/divaa283628 how'd u know i was a scissor sister dafauq

-streamer!ellie immediatly after she called dina "DUDE IM FLIPPING FAMOUS"

dina thought she was high off her ass and told her yeah right before hanging up on her ass.

ellie then proceeded to send a link to her alt and dina was actually blown away

"woah els.. you should pay me to be your manager."

-streamer!ellie laughed in her face (she asked dina to manage her shit a week later)

-loser!ellie's following grew and she branched her gaming to other things, mostly shorter story games that she finds off steam for 1 cent. every so often the game is actually really good with life changing plot (ellie's bawling by the end of it)

obviously she still plays stupid shooter games like fortnite and OW but she's too scared to touch COD (too many sweats she says)

-streamer!ellie absolutely LOVES to troll on GTA with Jesse it's literally her favorite thing to do EVERRR!!! the public js eats it up like candy, putting her in comps whenever she would accidently blow herself up or something (again dont know anything about this game at ALLL!!!)

-loser!ellie absolutely loves scowering tiktok for stupid little edits of herself and saving them all

she's quite cocky behind the screen and loves interacting w/ her community online but gets so awkward when she gets recognized in public or at school for the few audio clips of her going viral (it's okay cuz dina and jesse help her through it!!)

--

A/N: okay chat these were just heehees and haahaas bro. i randomly decided to do it and I thought it was funny and lowk sat there and actually wrote w/o stopping.. tbh there was more to this but like i cringed and deleted all that but i liked it up until this point. there were probably part 2 if i figure out what to write and probably x reader version too FHEIWF anyway its fr shit but this was js for funsies ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ