#i dont name animals who might be dead soon

[inkblot22]

All This Over A Notebook II

You might notice that the warning font is bigger this time. I don't want anyone who doesn't want to read this to read it. I tried to do a gn reader, I hope I did okay.

TW because this is DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Noncon, choking, violence, vomit, captivity, cursing, biting, nudity, reader has hair, disassociation, cursing, violent language if you squint, Floyd and Jade because they freak me out and I'm sure I'm not the only one. All characters have been aged up 18+

Part One Here!

You were going to die tonight. That’s all you could think. Floyd hadn’t done anything but touch your shoulder, but in your mind's eye you imagined him gnawing on your bones.

He straightened his back and ruffled your hair, “Don’t act so scared.”

Being stuck in a room with Floyd was like being locked in a tiger’s cage. Sure, he might not eat you, but your life was still in danger. It would make sense that your split-second response was to rip away from Floyd’s touch so you could start pounding at the door again, screaming at Jade for locking you in here.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Jade!” You wailed, “This isn’t funny!”

“Shrimpy.” Floyd’s voice sent a horrible chill down your spine. It was perfectly calm, completely level compared to your loud screeching.

You couldn’t bear turning around. Not when you hadn’t heard him move, not when you could almost, just maybe hear Jade on the other side of the door. You tried the doorknob again in pure desperation, your breathing labored.

“Shrimpy, I already told you. You can leave when we’re done here.” Floyd said.

You turned around, anger overtaking your fear, “What the hell are you talking about?”

He smiled, which broke into a wide grin as he giggled. That wasn’t reassuring, not in the least. You let go of the door, turning around and slumping against it. You sent a final desperate message to Jade, one last shot to try and get him to come back.

“i swear to god if you dont unlock this door i'm gonna kill you”

He read the message immediately but didn’t respond. Your heart crawled into your throat and you made this weird choking squeal noise. Floyd looked entirely unimpressed.

“I’m bored, waiting for you to stop freaking out.” He whined, squatting down in front of you.

It felt like the world was in slow motion. As soon as Floyd’s eyes were level with yours, you lashed out like a scared animal.

If you had asked yourself last week what your greatest regret was, it would be not taking that deal that Sam had offered you on tuna. If you’d asked yourself what your greatest regret was two weeks ago, it would be not badgering Crowley about finding your way home. If you asked yourself what your greatest regret was today, it would be hitting Floyd. 

As soon as he registered what had happened, which didn’t take very long, he yanked you by your collar, sprawling you out on the floor. As you tried to recover, his hands were around your neck, barely applying pressure. It was more to scare you than anything else, you were sure.

He was grinning, straddling your chest and bearing down until you gasped for air, clawing at his arms and wrists. When he finally let go, you turned to your side as much as you could, coughing muttered curses of his family name under your breath. 

“You know, Shrimpy…” Floyd began, fingers fidgeting with the collar of your shirt, “I get the feeling you don’t like me too much.”

You sucked in a breath and twisted your body so you could swing at him again. He caught your fist and slammed your wrist into the shiny tile. You cried out, hugging your other arm close before you desperately tried to pry his hand from your arm. 

Your voice was high, way less calm and angry than you would have preferred, “Get your sweaty ass off of me, Floyd!”

“Sweaty?” Floyd giggled, wiggling backwards so he was straddling your hips, “I just got out of the shower.”

“This isn’t a joke! Get off me!”

You wished he had responded to that. You’d take anything over him pulling you by your arms so your head hit his shoulder, anything to keep him from pressing his lips against your ear and laughing louder when you flinched away.

“You’re funny.” He purred.

When you woke up this morning, you hadn’t thought once of being trapped in this room with Floyd. It never crossed your mind in the realm of possibilities, and if you had anything to say about it, you weren’t going to be in here much longer. 

Floyd leaned back as you aimed to headbutt him. Your next best bet was just thrashing, lashing out with your knees and feet and elbows, and for a second, it worked. Floyd let go of your arms and moved off of you, watching calmly as you scrambled back and went back to the door, like someone suffering from insanity. 

Somewhere deep down, you knew that you weren’t getting out of here anytime soon. Subconsciously, you knew your actions were futile, that for all the banging on the door, Jade, Azul, whoever, none of them were coming to save you. You had been thrown to the lions.

Floyd crowded you against the door, your bag plopping besides your foot. Floyd’s thumbs hooked in your waistband of both your pants and underwear. You shuddered out a scream and banged against the door faster, harder. Maybe, your fist would go through the door, and you’d be able to open the door from that side.

You screamed louder when something pressed against your entrance. Just as you began to turn to smack him away or kick him where he was the most tender, he grabbed your head and slammed it against the door.

“Don’t turn around.” He mumbled, “You’re not gonna like what you see.”

“Don’t- Floyd, stop it! Stop!” You swung your arms back, hoping to knock him off balance.

You did strike him, once. In the ribs, probably. Something bony, something broad. Unfortunately, this was Floyd you were dealing with, so he didn’t even flinch. No, instead he looped the hand already on your head through your hair and pushed his hips into your ass. 

You realized, possibly a little belatedly, that the noise you were suddenly hearing was coming from you. It sounded like it was coming from some kind of creature from the depths of hell, something crawling up from the depths and begging for mercy. Your legs felt weak, and you could hear the door thumping against the frame as Floyd pistoned against you.

His breathing was low and heavy, every few breaths punctuated with breathy snickering, just soft enough that you could mistake them for something else. You felt his lips against your sweaty temple, trailing down to the side of your neck and your shoulder. 

Your fingernails scraped uselessly against the door as he violated you. You were past begging for help, begging for him to stop, to get away from you. You just had to wait for this torture to end.

The pain was intense and hyperfocused around the ring of muscle that Floyd had battered past. Every time he moved it sparked up again, doubling over itself. Your screaming petered into hollow sobbing.

Your legs gave out from under you, but the last person you wanted to catch you grabbed you securely around the waist, his body still beating against yours. You were going to be sick. The obscene slapping, the slick squishing, the smell of it all, it made your head spin. You gagged around a sob.

“O-kay, Shrimpy,” Floyd mumbled. “Here it comes.”

Floyd kissed your ear again and dipped his head into your shoulder. You let out an even louder scream, which you hadn’t realized you were capable of, when his teeth latched into the skin of your shoulder.

Your legs kicked helplessly as he pressed closer, the slick skin sticking together between the two of you. You were sobbing, desperate for freedom. 

You were granted your freedom, more or less. Floyd let you down onto the floor a lot more gently than you expected. You slumped to your knees, and for a moment, it was like you felt yourself separate from your body. You saw yourself, crying with your chest against the door and your pants around your ankles, and Floyd standing over you, staring down at you like you were a very interesting insect or something he had just dissected. 

When your consciousness snapped back into your body, you sluggishly rolled over, tugging up your pants and hugging the wall to stand back up before you grabbed your bag. Floyd was still staring at you, toothy smirk widening. You looked away before you saw his eyes. 

You cowered away from him as he approached the door, not even bothering to pull his pants up. 

He rapped on the door once, “Jade, Shrimpy wants to go home now.”

The lock clicked and you threw open the door, storming past Jade and beginning the long walk home. Grim was asleep when you got in, his homework unfinished. You didn’t care about that, he was comfortable or whatever. Hoping that all of that was worth something, anything, you ripped open your backpack to see your notebook and a shiny bundle of thaumarks in front of your notebook.

You threw up.

[gla55t33th]

Questions for Lazureus ^^ (If it's okay to ask multiple in one, I hope)

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust? 6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? 15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? 29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Feel free to answer as many or as few of these as you like, I feel I may have picked challenging ones but that's what I'm curious about! (as a little extra question, would you consider putting Laz on Artfight for next year? I understand if not, just wanna know, and have a great day <3)

5. Depends whether or not youve earnt Laz's trust in the first place- which is no easy feat! He acts the same towards nigh on everybody regardless of trust but once youve earned it (Which is only his family, one living friend, and a few who have since died) I dont think itd be easy to break? He is an incredibly loyal person after a certain point!

6. Flexible. He is the one put at the helm of the system enforcing them, after all! But he does have his own personal moral laws which are fairly immovable.

15. On the spot! He wouldnt rehearse it at all, the guy gives no thought to what people think or how they might respond to him.

29. No. But ey have since lowered their ideals.

34. You get so used to it that you forget that feeling is guilt! It just becomes a dull undertone you cant put a name or cause to :]

F. I NEED HIM DEAD FOR REAL!!!!!!! I ADORE HIM BUT I WANT TO PUT HIM IN A MEAT GRINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS A NARRATIVE PUNCHING BAG AND IS SO SO FUN TO ROTATE IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!! i look at a square window and go omg. laz :3 AND THEN I FLINCH!!!!! HE TAKES UP TOO MUCH SPACE IN MY BRAIN

xtra: I would like to say yes but 1. I need to finish an updated ref sheet holy moly. and 2. Im not sure if i will participate!! It was nice for a bit but artfight does not mesh well with my anxiety X[ (its the same reason i dont do DTIYS' anymore)

38.

One, Two, Three, Four archangels lined up in an empty white expanse. We looked worse for wear, an unbefitting visage of deities. Posed like dolls, deadly still, with heads bowed towards a huge figure that blurred into its surroundings. I knew what was about to happen, but not why. Though... who was I to question the reasoning this higher power had? In fact, questioning the creator was likely reason enough in hindsight. We were designed to solely carry out our God's word-- I was to be its right hand, its trusted spear. A proxy for the lower echelon. I knelt at its command, waiting, and my bretheren watched knowing they'd follow soon. The silence broke my nerves. The memory itself degrades thereon under the panic-- and like the way that an animal doesn't think when snared in a trap, nothing was processed bar the pain, the pain and the knowledge that a portion of your very being was being rent from gilded flesh. I would never go back up there, even if they wanted me back, but being tossed aside in such an unexplained and violent manner by such a supposedly perfect being plays with you. Doubly so when you've been cast away from the very reason you were created in the first place. And it couldn't even do the courtesy of rendering me mortal, so I could just live out my days like the rest down here.

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

happy spider talk and pictures below the cut,

Beth has sadly not made another appearance in a while But! i got a text from my neighbor, who has heard me talk at length about beth, about a small wolf spider that had snuck into her apartment. fortunately she stopped her husband from hurting the poor thing bc this baby has clearly already been through the ringer

shes missing a leg and was very lethargic, which made her very easy to catch, shes currently sat in the tank id set up for beth with half a meal worm if shes feeling peckish. ive pulled out the leaves so i can observe her a little easier. I kinda doubt shes going to be around much longer but im hopeful that with a little tlc she'll bounce back.

[weelittleweasley]

countdown (f.w.)

prompt: a new year on the horizon. new plans, new start, new love? maybe for some, but fred weasley is absolutely hung up on the girl he’s fancied since he graduated from hogwarts years ago.

pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader

warnings: drinking and just some cute fred fluff!

word count: 5.5k

a/n: honestly, the timeline of this is whenever fred and george graduated from hogwarts, but also the golden trio?? but also i don't know?? amuse me and pretend like you know what’s going on because i sure dont LMAOOOO anyway here’s wonderwall...

The Burrow was at max capacity, housing not only the majority of the Weasley family, but Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and you, of course. It was holiday break for Hogwarts and Molly insisted on having over all of Ronald’s friends as well as friends from Fred and George’s time at Hogwarts. The gesture was more than kind, but it did make for tight quarters having four more extra guests in the house. However, the Weasley’s always found a way to make things work; Hermione stayed with Ginny in her room, Harry in Ron’s room, while you delightfully stayed in Bill and Charlie’s vacant room. It was a full house to say the least. And a full house meant lots of hustle and bustle.

Today was a rather special day, more so to Hermione than anyone else. It was New Year’s Eve. The most exciting of all holidays according to the young witch Granger. The holiday was celebrated in the Weasley household, but Hermione insisted that there should be a large celebration this year. Lots of lights, fun games, and the suggestion of a fire works show peaked Fred and George’s interest a lot more...

You weren’t going to lie. It all sounded fun to you. The only thing that made your heart skip a beat was the proposal of the New Year’s kiss. “It’s a tradition that you have to kiss someone when the clock strikes midnight. It supposed to be for good luck and happiness in the new year,” Hermione beamed on the couch, a blushing Ronald Weasley next to her. “I mean, I’ve never had a new year’s kiss, but maybe this year things may change...” she trails off, side-eyeing Ron as he shifts in his seat, uncomfortable about all of the eyes on him. 

A new year’s kiss. How was this supposed to play out? Ron would surely kiss Hermione, Harry would kiss Ginny, and you? You were friends with Fred and George. Simply friends. Nothing more, nothing less. You became fast friends when you were at Hogwarts and kept in touch after your graduation, but nothing ever blossomed romantically from those friendships (unfortunately). 

Although you were mates, Fred Weasley always did something to you. You knew he had the reputation of being the boy who played around with girls until he was done and you knew he had a history of romance with your close friend, Alicia, but still your feelings for him remained no matter how many signs pointed to no. Fred was quite the catch; charming, funny, handsome, witty, and clever. He was nothing short of what you wanted. But you told yourself constantly whilst in school with him, “If he wanted to, he would have.” Since Fred never made a move on you in school, you decided for the both of you that a relationship or any kind of romance wasn’t in the cards for you. Your relationship was strictly platonic much to your dismay.

However, you weren’t going to let the thought of you not having someone to kiss on New Year’s get you down. The celebration would be fun. You had good company, good food, and you were certain the twins had something fun up their sleeves. 

New Year’s Eve rolled around quickly and preparations for nightfall were beginning. Hermione hung up shimmery gold and silver garland around the house as Ron blew up balloons, face growing red from blowing up so many. Harry tied strings to the balloons, laughing as Ron went red in the face from blowing them up. Ginny helped her mother in the kitchen, cooking dinner for the occasion. Fred and George on the other hand....

“(Y/N)! Could you come out here and give me a hand?” George calls from outside the Burrow as you follow the sound of his voice.

Outside, he stands around a troff of trunks, bags, and suitcases. Most of them labelled fragile or dangerous. Your eyes widen, “Woah, Georgie, where did you get all of this stuff?” you laugh, looking around at the mess of things in front of you.

George beams, “Storage from the joke shoppe. A bunch of this stuff is from overstock that Fred and I have. Lots of fireworks, gizmos, noise makers, etcetera. Fred is back at the shoppe gathering more things. In the meantime, I need you to help me sort through what we are using and what we can get rid of.”

You nod, knowing that you would certainly have your work cut out for you. George flings a trunk open which spurts out bright blue smoke and stinks of something absolutely rotten. The two of you exclaim, blowing away the smoke, coughing at its smell. “George, what exactly are in these boxes? A dead animal? ‘Cause that’s what it smells like,” you cough.

The tall ginger slams the trunk closed and turns to you. “Maybe let’s just work on the fireworks, shall we? Sort them by color and type?” he asks as you nod. “Brilliant. First pile,” he grabs a sack and dumps it on the ground as you two sit on the cold grass, sorting through multiple colored tubes of fireworks, each labelled differently. “So,” George huffs. “You looking forward to tonight?”

“I guess so,” you speak as you create a pile of fireworks labelled Big Ones Be Careful. “A new year. A fresh start. All very exciting I guess.” George laughs at your comment as he sorts other fireworks. “What? What’s so funny? Did I say something?”

George looks at you from under his eyelashes before shaking his head. “(Y/N), dear, I love you so much. But you are quite daft, aren’t you?” His comment makes you fling a firework canister at him as he yelps. “Careful with those! Don’t you see they are labelled Be Careful! Godric, you are daft...”

You groan, “Why am I daft? What’s the name calling for, you fatheaded idiot.”

Your best friend looks up at you. “Okay, first of all that was rude,” he states as you giggle, him soon joining in. “Second of all, you can’t tell me that you’re not excited about the new year and not the new year’s kiss,” he explains. You furrow your brows, confused about what he could be talking about. “(Y/N)...come on, you can’t be that blind.”

“Blind about what? There’s someone in that house that wants to kiss me on New Year’s? You’re out of your bloody mind,” you scoff, standing up to move to another pile of fireworks labelled, Fred--Do Not Touch. You laugh at the label before you sort them into colors. 

George mumbles, “Well, he isn’t in that house at the moment.” You flip your head to look at him, knowing he said something facetious. “Losersayswhat.”

“What?” you say.

George laughs, “Hah, works every time.” You groan as you continue to make your way through the pile of fireworks, not wanting to get distracted by George’s side comments. This news of someone wanting to be your new year’s kiss was getting on your nerves. Who else was there? Percy? And Merlin knows that you could not be paid enough galleons to kiss Percy Weasley. “I’m serious, though, (Y/N), you can’t be telling me that you don’t know that Fred hasn’t fancied you since forever ago.”

This comment makes you stop everything you are doing and turn towards George. You let the fireworks fall from your hands as you stare at him in disbelief. “Don’t play with me, George,” you warn him as he holds his hands up in defense. “We have been mates since we were eleven and all of a sudden you tell me that your twin brother, one of my best mates, fancies me?” you slowly encroach onto George.

He rises from his place on the grass and walks to you. “I’m just trying to say that good ol’ Freddie always thought you were cute and he might make a move tonight. That’s all. I’m being my brother’s wingman and your best friend. Can’t I just do that?” he explains calmly. 

You grab his arms, shaking him. “You cannot just drop a bomb on me like that and expect me to have a perfectly fine reaction, George!” you exclaim. “Don’t you know that Fred and I are just friends? I told you this multiple times! I told you that my crush on him faded as soon as we graduated from Hogwarts! That’s behind me.”

As you look at George desperately, he grabs onto your shoulders. “And you mean to tell me that you don’t fancy him right now? If Fred Weasley, my brother, came up to you right now and kissed you and told you that he’s fancied you for years, you would reject him?” George asks. Your face softens as you give his comment some thought. George was right. You would kiss Fred back with all your might and confess that you really liked him too and you were waiting for this moment for a while. Your silence explains everything that George needs to know. “Exactly. So when the clock strikes midnight and you see Fred next to you, don’t be a coward,” George teases you before walking back to his station of organizing fireworks.

You are left standing there, still processing what was happening. Fred Weasley was going to kiss you when the clock struck midnight. It was happening. This was really happening. And how romantic it would all be. New Year’s Eve, your first kiss with Fred, in the moonlight underneath a fireworks show. And then it struck you, “Hey George?” He hums in response. “The fireworks show tonight. You and Fred are putting it on still, right?”

“Of course we are. Who else would? Ronald? Could you imagine the disaster that would be?” George laughs at the thought of his childish brother trying to set off fireworks all while balancing himself on his broomstick. “Why do you ask?”

Taking a seat next to George on the grass, you say, “Then how is he supposed to get back down from setting off the fireworks to kiss me at midnight exactly?” 

George’s face twists in confusion for a second before thinking out the problem. “Huh,” he speaks. “I mean, I’m not sure, but I’m sure it’s going to happen,” he assures you. “Fred always finds a way. Come on, it’s Fred. When he likes a girl, he likes a girl. And you, (Y/N), my dearest, he likes. I wouldn’t worry yourself sick,” he nudges your arm as you exhale the breath you were holding. “Now come on, we still have much more sorting to do before Fred gets back with even more garbage.”

-----------------

Hours later and you’re in Ginny’s room, getting ready for the party. Hermione brushed through Ginny’s hair as she coated her lashes in mascara. You on the other hand stood in front of multiple skirts, dresses, and tops, struggling to decide what to wear. You groan in frustration as you peel off a glittery gold top of Hermione’s and toss it on the bed gently. “Nothing looks right,” you huff as Hermione turns around.

“I thought that one was lovely on you!” she exclaims as you flop on Ginny’s bed, staring at the ceiling. It may have been lovely, but it was perfect. If tonight was going to go the way George had described, you needed to make sure that you looked outrageous in the best way possible. You wanted Fred counting down the minutes until midnight. “Something’s wrong, I can see it on your face,” Hermione points out as Ginny turns to look at you. “You can tell us if you’d like.”

You offer them both a small smile as you run your fingers over your face and through your hair. “It’s honestly stupid,” you chuckle. “George has, um...informed me...that I might be receiving a new year’s kiss this year...from Fred,” you confide to the girls in a hushed whisper. 

You expected both of them to freak out with excitement or exclaim how exciting it was. Instead they looked at you, confused as to why you were just figuring this out now. “Well, yes, we all knew this. Fred’s had a massive crush on you for years,” Ginny simply states before sailing back into the mirror, reapplying her mascara. 

Mouth agape, you exclaim, “Does everyone know about this and not me?!”

Hermione sadly shakes her head, “Even Ron knew about it. And that’s saying something.” You groan and flop backwards again on the bed in frustration. How come everyone knew about this and you didn’t? How come you had to surprise and hide your feelings for Fred for years when in reality he felt the same way about you all this time? “Well, we didn’t know for sure if you fancied him too since you were always so adamant that you two were just friends...so that’s good news!” Hermione tries to lighten the mood, unsuccessfully doing so as you still remain on the bed. “Alright, well, enough of that. It’s exciting, (Y/N)! You and Fred’s first kiss!” she sits on the bed next to you. “Now I see why you are so nervous about what to wear. Let’s raid the closet and luggage, shall we?” 

You let out a light laugh and sit up, watching Hermione raid Ginny’s closet and your luggage, trying to find something for the occasion. “Hmmm,” she peels back hangers, pulling out pieces before putting them back, sorting through the clothes to find the perfect outfit. Suddenly, something catches her eye in your suitcase. “Oh!” she exclaims as she picks up a white and black plaid mini skirt. “What do we have here,” she laughs as you blush. You had bought that skirt on a whim on a shopping trip with Angelina. The skirt was a little short, but cute nonetheless.

Ginny takes a look at the skirt and chuckles, “Naughty, naughty.” You shake your head and roll your eyes. “I might have the top to go with it,” she speaks, rising from the chair and pulling a black, shimmery, long sleeve cropped shirt. She held it up to the skirt. Perfect match. “I’m not saying that you should dress up for Fred because that’s just gross,” Ginny states as you laugh with Hermione. “But...you’d look hot as hell with this on.”

You get up from the bed and huff, “You two are trouble.” The girls laugh as you begin to change, trying on the clothes to see how it looked. 

As you straightened out the shirt and skirt, you looked in the mirror in front of you, Hermione and Ginny hovering over your shoulders. It was perfect. The top hugged your feminine figure perfectly and the skirt hung from your hips like a dream, falling just above mid thigh under your bum. The material of the top glittered in the light as you twirled in the mirror. It wasn’t too much, it wasn’t too little. It was simply perfect. “If you don’t wear that, I am,” Ginny speaks as you laugh. “You look incredible.”

“Breathtaking,” Hermione adds. “If Fred doesn’t kiss you tonight, damn it, we will.”

--------------

Another few hours pass before the sun sets and the music starts. It was 9pm and the festivities were just beginning. Everyone was dancing, drinking, and laughing in the living room, celebrating the holiday. Slowly, you, Hermione, and Ginny all joined the party, earning a few stares from the boys. “Nicely done, ladies!” Ron smiles as Hermione rolls her eyes. “You all look lovely,” he retaliates as he looks at his friends, eyes landing on Hermione. “You look lovely,” he repeats quietly to Hermione as she blushes, holding onto the skirt of her pale blue dress. 

Ginny pays no attention to Harry’s gawking eyes as she passes him, wearing tight black jeans and a silver cowl neck top. Ginny had every intention of making Harry a murmuring mess. And it was working.

You on the other hand, poured yourself some punch (that the twins had most definitely spiked) and happily stood around your friends. But you couldn’t help yourself wanting to look at Fred. There he stood in the middle of the living room, blue jeans and a navy blue thermal t-shirt. He was dressed simply and plain, but Merlin, he looked good. You let yourself sneak a peak at him, but you catch his eyes. You stand there frozen as he smiles as you cheekily. “Nice skirt,” he compliment.

You can feel the blood rush to your cheeks. “Thanks,” you simply state as George just smiles and sips his punch. Clearing your throat, you start, “Alright, we got three hours to kill. What’s on the agenda?” 

Hermione shoots up, “Yes! Okay, so I thought to start we could play Never Have I Ever that way it’ll loosen us all up and we can make it a drinking game if we want.”

“Hermione Granger suggesting a drinking game? New year, new Hermione,” Ron laughs as Hermione rolls her eyes. “Sounds good to me. Everyone circle up.”

Everyone sits on the floor in the living room around the small coffee table, drinks in hand. You were sandwiched between Ginny and Hermione, clutching onto your cup, mind racing a thousand miles a minute. You could feel Fred’s eyes on you but you didn’t want to look at him. It felt like you had a dirty secret when clearly his plans were not a secret to anyone except you. 

Harry begins in the game, “Never have I ever broken someone’s arm in a game of quidditch.” Everyone laughs and looks at Ginny and Fred as they roll their eyes. 

You remember during one of Fred’s games when Gryffindor played Slytherin, Fred knocked someone clear off their broom and they fell on their arm, a clean break. You remember Fred proudly walking the halls, knowing that he broke that poor bloke’s arm. Even though it got him suspended from the game, Gryffindor still won the match. Many people thought that Fred’s move was unfair or stupid of him, but when you watched it happen, you couldn’t help but think about how attractive Fred looked as he flexed his muscles and literally threw the Slytherin player off of his broom. 

Ginny sips her drink and then says, “That was completely targeted, Harry.”

Harry shrugs, “No rules to the game. I say we can be as blunt as possible.”

Everyone looks around at the group as you just sip from your cup, needs the effects of the alcohol to give you a confidence boost. Was it hot in here? George claps his hands as Fred oooohs, making you sweat. “Alright, Potter, now he’s playing with the big boys,” George pats Harry’s back. 

“It’s all fun and games now,” Ron laughs. “You’re up, George.”

George rubs his hands together, concocting a statement as your heart races. George was going to be ruthless you knew it. There was so much he could say right now that could make you embarrassed. George was your best friend, he had so much dirt on you. Especially after today. Finally, he was struck with an idea and your heart sank. “Never have I ever had an intricate plan to kiss a girl I’ve fancied since fourth year on New Year’s Eve,” George simply sates.

As soon as the words fall out of his mouth, Fred’s cheeks turn bright crimson red and you almost spit out your drink. You cough a little bit as Ginny and Ron laugh wildly at their older brother, George smugly sitting there, watching the mess he created unfold. 

Fred glares at his brother and shakes his head. Slowly, Fred grabs the cup and takes a long sip from it as your heart races. This just got very real. “You’ve made a grave mistake, brother,” Fred states as George laughs. “Grave.”

You uncomfortably shift in your seat as Fred looks at you from across the table a little smirk on his face. Without anyone seeing, he drops his left eye into a wink and then goes back to the conversation. Your heart skips a beat and your face turns beet red. Tonight was going to be a night to remember for sure.

----------

Time flew by and it was a quarter to midnight. The twins had evacuated the house and ran to the backyard to get the fireworks ready. “We’ve got it all settled, not to worry!” Fred called out when Molly expressed her concern for the boys’ safety. 

The twins darted into the backyard, laughing happily as they jumped on their brooms and set off into the sky. The rest of you made your way into the backyard slowly as your race was beating a mile a minute. The time was approaching. Fred was going to kiss you in ten minutes. It was all happening so fast, you couldn’t keep up.

“Ready?” you feel Hermione’s hands on your shoulders as you roll your eyes, running your fingers through your hair. “It’ll be great, I just know it.”

You give her a hopeful smile as you stand next to her the backyard, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep you warm from the brisk January air. “I still don’t understand how Fred’s going to pull it off. Going from the fireworks in time to come down here and kiss me? I don’t know,” you ponder.

Hermione smiles, “It’s Fred. He finds a way.”

You nodded your head, smiling. She was right. Fred would find a way. He always did. 

Disrupting the silence, Ron speaks, “A minute and thirty seconds, everyone!”

Hermione gasps in excitement. “Already? Alright everyone! Get ready we’re going to start the countdown soon!”

Your heart is still racing as you look around you and up into the sky. No sight of Fred or George. Where were they and what were they doing? “Don’t over think it,” you whisper to yourself as you look around at your friends. Everyone stood around, looking up at the sky, waiting. 

And then, “In 10! 9! 8!” Hermione starts counting down.

“7!”

Your heart is pounding against your chest, you feel like your heart is going to leap out.

“6!” 

Your mind is reeling and racing with so many thoughts. You are in overdrive. 

“5!”

Was Fred going to kiss you? Or was this some sort of sick prank that he and George were in on?

“4!”

Where in the bloody hell was Fred? He had four seconds!

“3!”

Your mouth goes dry.

“2!”

Ron looks at Hermione, Harry to Ginny. It was happening. And Fred was nowhere to be found.

“1!”

Times up.

“Happy New Year!”

And with that, bursts of multicolored lights erupted in the sky, popping and blasting off. It was so bright and colorful, starting off the new year in a decorative display. As you watched the fireworks, you turned around and saw the couples all in each others arms, sharing sweet kisses as the fireworks went off in the background. And you stood there, no Fred. No George. No one. 

Your heart sank into your stomach as you realize what was happening. Fred wasn’t coming to kiss you. Not now. It was too late. You both missed your chance. Did George make this up? Was everyone in on it? Did Hermione lie to you? They wouldn’t dare toy with your emotions like that. Or would they?

Instead of dwelling on the questions, you just stared up at the sky, small tears welling in your eyes, but you quickly swallowed them away, feigning happiness. “Happy New Year to me,” you whisper to yourself. 

The fireworks blast off in shades of red, blue, green, and orange, illuminating the sky with such joy. You had to admit, Fred and George knew what they were doing when it came to things like this. No matter how much you wanted to scream at the two of them, Fred especially, you kept it in. You were supposed to be happy right now.

As the couples pull away from their embraces, you feel eyes on you in excited anticipation, hoping to see Fred holding you and kissing you. But instead, they see you, looking up at the sky alone. “What?” Hermione whispers. She starts to walk over to you, but Ron stops her.

“Give her a second,” he speaks. “Maybe Fred will come down in a second.”

The couples return their gaze to the sky, but the fireworks don’t stop. They keep coming. Which meant Fred had no intention of coming down anytime soon. 

You know that your friends are looking at you, but you refuse to look at them, far too embarrassed. Fred made a fool of you tonight. And that was something you weren’t going to forget. 

Slowly, the fireworks stop as you sigh. “What a show,” you try to lighten the mood as Hermione stares at you sadly. You couldn’t look at her she just made you feel bad. “Happy New Year!” you smile to your friends.

Ron is the first one to embrace you, picking you up and spinning you around as you giggle. He always did know how to make you feel a bit better. You held onto him tight as he spun you around. Slowly, he placed you back on the ground. “Happy New Year,” Ron whispered in your ear as he squeezed you. “My brother has always been a moron, no need to worry.”

He pulls away and gives you a smile and a wink. You just shake your head knowingly and shrug. “It is what it is. My resolution is that I’m going into this year with no expectations at all. Even if someone tells me something, I’m not going to expect it. I’d rather be surprised,” you sigh as Hermione hugs you tight.

You walk inside, arm in arm with Hermione, small chatter entering the Burrow as you walk in together. “Are we going to stay up a bit more a play another game?” Ginny asks.

“You all can, but I’m actually quite tired. I think I’m gonna head to bed,” you tell the group as they all protest, wanting you to stay. “I know, I’m a party pooper, but I am. I’m usually not up this late,” you lie through your teeth, knowing damn well you were up until sunrise yesterday with Fred and George talking about the shoppe and the future for it. “Goodnight, everyone. Happy New Year.”

The group watches you as you ascend the steps to the room you were staying in before they all look at each other, disappointed in tonight’s events. Before anyone can say anything, Fred and George come bumbling through the door, laughing and holding onto each other. “Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!” George laughs. “The fireworks looked insane from up there! How did they look down here?” 

Everyone just stares and doesn’t say a thing. “Geez, tough crowd,” Fred laughs before Ron slaps him upside the head. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

Ron scoffs, “Didn’t you forget something? You proper git!”

Fred looks at his younger brother confused. “I didn’t forget a thing! I mean I wished I could see what it looked like from down here, but oh well...anyway, whose up for a game?” Fred asks as everyone looks baffled. “What? You guys look like you saw a ghost. And where’s (Y/N)? She’s missing.”

And that’s when it hits him.

George is just as shocked as everyone else, covering his hand with his mouth. 

“Oh, bloody hell...” Fred trails off. “I planned a whole fireworks show for the girl and I forgot to come back down to bloody kiss her.” Everyone just shakes their head and disperses throughout the house, Ginny and Hermione disappearing into Ginny’s room, Ron and Harry trudging up the stairs. “Wait, wait, where did she go? I need to explain what happened to her.”

Ginny groans, “If you had just stuck to your plan like before and not got distracted by the shiny lights, you wouldn’t have to explain anything to her!” This just makes Fred feel worse as he should. He made a promise and convinced everyone to tell his crush about it only to not follow through. “She’s back in her room. You better have a good explanation for all of this.”

Meanwhile, you stood in the bathroom, brushing your teeth in your pajamas shorts and jumper, getting ready for bed. Your glasses hung on the bridge of your nose as you stared at yourself, disappointed in how the night unfolded. Tonight was supposed to be special, but it ended up extremely ordinary. But this is what you should have expected. 

You spat the toothpaste in the sink as you stared in the mirror. Huffing, you shake your head, “He’s just a boy.” That’s all Fred Weasley was. A dumb boy. A dumb idiot boy. A cute, funny, sensitive, witty, charming, flirtatious dumb idiot git moron boy. You groan, knowing that the feelings you have for Fred were stronger than ever at this point after the hype of today. “Why me, Fred Weasley?” you groan. “Why me.”

Swinging the bathroom door open, you step outside, unknowingly bumping into someone. “Oh,” you look up and there he was. The culprit. The man of the hour. Fred. “Oh.”

“Can we talk?” he asks as you just stare at him.

He looked at you with such guilt in his eyes, it was palpable. His face turned downward, feeling so stupid in this moment. He disappointed the girl he cared for most since they were children in school. It was embarrassing for him more so than you. 

You snapped back into reality and simply said, “Talk about what, Fred?”

With that, you made your way down the hall to the room you were staying in as Fred followed you. “Oh, don’t play this game, (Y/N). We both know exactly what this is about and I just want to apologize,” Fred pleads as you enter the room quickly, attempting to shut the door on him, but he stick his foot in the doorway. “Not so fast, tiger. I need to talk to you.”

“And I need to go to bed. It’s late,” you reply, but Fred forces himself inside the room as you groan. “Fred, it’s not a big deal. All is forgiven. Blah, blah. I’ll see you in the morning. Go on,” you shoo him away.

Fred grabs your arms, “No, it’s not alright. (Y/N), what I did was wrong and no one should ever leave someone alone like that after I promised you, and everyone else did, that I would come down and kiss you. I got caught up being an idiot with my brother and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for the night to go like this for either of us. I wanted it to be special.”

Fred’s words make your heart flutter, but you don’t let your heart get in the way of this situation. “You made me look like a fool,” you cooly speak, maintaining direct eye contact with Fred. 

“And I feel like a crap person because of it. I’m so sorry, (Y/N),” Fred grabs your hands as you huff. “I’m sure George already flapped his big mouth about it, but I’ve fancied you since we were in fourth year and you sneaked into George and I’s dormitory to tell ghost stories to Lee. I thought you were the coolest girl I had ever met. I still do. And when we graduated, you were so ready to help George and I start the joke shoppe and help us get on our feet. You have been so supportive and loving and kind to me. And I want you to know that I think you are the most incredible woman I have ever met. You’re smart, kind, generous, and good Godric, you’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen,” he sighs as you blush gently. “I wanted tonight to be a memory that we could have forever. Because I care for you so much, (Y/N). I wanted to do it so badly. And I still do.”

Your heart is racing again and you feel your mouth run dry again. But you muster up enough confidence to say, “Do what, Weasley?”

A small smirk appears on your lips as Fred lightly chuckles, “Cheeky.”

He wastes no more time, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close and dipping his head down to connect your lips in a gentle kiss. His lips are warm and taste of cinnamon. You sigh into his touch and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Fred smiles into your kiss as he holds onto you tight, not wanting to let go. He missed his chance once tonight. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again. 

Gently, you pull away and look at Fred who is smiling from ear to ear. “Worth the wait?” Fred jokes as you roll your eyes, him kissing your lips again swiftly.

“Well worth the wait. Only four years late,” you tease him as he laughs. “Happy New Year, Freddie.”

“Happy New Year, darling.”

[hnnyoongs]

akai shuichi headcanons

shuichi wears a beanie all the time because he's self conscious about hir hairline .... and I mean who can blame him? id be too

shuichi saw gin when he was visiting Japan in the 10 years ago flashback and was like ooh long hair is cool AND it'll piss ka-san off flash forward 5 years later when shuichi infiltrates the BO and is like fUck cool long hair dude is a psycho

shuichi cut his hair off when he heard akemi was killed by gin he kinda went into the whole mental breakdown mode and was like fuck this shit because he started growing his hair out cuz of gin and also akemi really liked his long hair

shuichi used to be a band kid when he lived in England and wanted to pursue a career in music (much to the chagrin of Mary) but after tsutomu disappeared he was like fuck that and stopped playing until he entered the BO

shuichi has a really bad memory about things that dont have to do anything with his job kinda like BBC's Sherlock but not as bad

shuichi used to find dead bodies when he was a kid just like shinichi but it wasn't as often maybe like a dead body once a year or something

shuichi named himself dai because that's what Mary actually wanted to name him when she was giving birth she was screaming die die die and tsutomu wasn't there yet so she was like aight die sounds like the japanese name dai the only reason shuichi wasn't named that was that tsutomu burst in and was like FUCK NO

shuichi was picked on when training for the FBI since compared to 6 foot jock white men shuichi was a 5 foot 7 asian with long hair and dressed like a teenage girl who frequented Starbucks in the toxic environment of the FBI for anyone who doesnt fit the mold shuichi had it cut out for him

shuichi showed signs of multiple mental illnesses but they were all difficult to pin down so he was never diagnosed with anything since he refused to talk at the FBI mandated therapy sessions

shuichi's type is someone who is kind but could wield a gun

he used to dislike kids but being around them as okiya has made SOME kids special in his heart

before tsutomu's disspeareance he taught shuichi how to hunt with a shotgun

shuichi lived off of sports drinks and bars whenever he was single since he couldn't rely on take out due to it being unhealthy which wouldn't help his FBI styled life

shuichi taught akemi simple self defense techniques but refuses to teach her how to shoot a gun saying he didn't want her hands to get dirty

shuichi and shukichi blackmail each other for favors by using the "ill tell ka-san you did that one thing that you blamed dad for when we were kids if u dont help me out"

scotch once told him that bourbon's type was a white milf (in reference to Elena who was white and was a mother) so shuichi was scared as fuck when rei met Mary's adult self for the first time

shuichi hates being compared to his mother but the truth is they're the most similar and they both started mimicking tsutomu after his disappearance

the only thing shuichi knew how to cook before meeting yukiko was plain white rice as that was the only thing tsutomu was able to teach him

shuichi mimics an American accent while talking in America or talking in English unless he's talking to his family or he's mentally shook up and his British accent slips out

he thinks in British accented English as well (idc if the animanga shows him thinking in japanese it makes no sense that western raised people like Jodie and camel think in japanese) but he does use some japanese like ka-san and when he's trying to get deep into his okiya persona

he tries very hard to keep the polite speech patterns of okiya Subaru since as akai shuichi he's very .. rude

shuichi's sniper skills were so good the fbi was willing to overlook his disrespect of authority and his tendency to do everything by himself without consulting everyone

shuichi slips into a British accent around James if he's feeling really comfortable

he felt bad about using shiho since she was only a year older than masumi and she hadn't done anything wrong so he vowed to get her and akemi out of the BO

he had a plan to get akemi and shiho out by convincing the higher ups to grant them immunity if they testified but akemi's death derailed the entire thing

he hates to admit it but his family is the most important thing to him he may not contact them that often but he's going to such lengths to bring his father back because he cares for his family so much

shuichi didnt really know what he wanted to do with his life once he took down his father's pursuers but after akemi and scotch he decided that if he solved his father's disappearance first he'd hunt down the BO next tho once learning that Haneda Koji’s death had something to do with the BO he's back at the thing where he doesn't know what to do with his life without revenge

he promised shukichi that he'd be the one to solve shukichi's death if what happened to Haneda kohji also happens to shukichi

he isn't a fan of dates in amusement parks but if it makes his partner happy and smile he'll have fun

dating Jodie was a quiet thing most likely from an attachment maybe due to a bad case or a loss of a mutual friend depending on the agency they might have been legally allowed to date each other but it is usually looked down upon I dont think they went out together often probably spending time together at home ... doing stuff

he identifies as bisexual it was normal to him in childhood since both Mary and tsutomu talked about their past relationships to their children he never told anyone due to the fact it would affect his FBI status since it was illegal in America shukichi and Mary know he's bi but shuichi has no idea Mary knows

akemi and shuichi would take strolls in parks go shopping and go to cafes

he's very self conscious about his height and whenever he goes to Japan it makes him feel good about himself since he's relatively tall there

Mary was the one who drilled japanese into his head not tsutomu

the last time shuichi talked to Mary was when he called her up to tell her to take masumi and leave Japan for Britain after masumi cornered him and scotch him and Mary had a whole argument and after that they stopped talking to each other, not that they talked to each other much in the first place

shuichi learned jee kun do by watching training videos from vhs tapes/cds/YouTube depending on when you consider detco taking place I personally believe conan shrinks in 2018 meaning that tsutomu disappeared in 2001 and shuichi used a mixture of tapes and cds to learn

shuichi can read people really well but has a hard time manipulating people by being nice he can use people by being a jackass very well but trying to be a normal person is hard for him

Yukiko and yusaku remind shuichi of his parents before tsutomu disappeared but like more upbeat

shuichi dislikes full body hugs

akemi and shiho were both anime and romance drama fans so he knows random things about the shows and uses that info to connect with the DB and especially haibara

he considered himself British first and foremost but when asked about whether he considers himself white or asian he'll always go with asian

he started smoking soon after his father disappeared since his father used to smoke and he needed to cope but didn't wanna fall into drugs like cocaine

smoking is heavily looked down upon in America and is seen as unprofessional which helped shuichi go undercover a bunch due to him being a heavy smoker

akemi would make him stop smoking around her and shiho saying that second hand smoking was dangerous and that shuichi who was smoking constantly was going to get lung cancer but he would tell her that he just couldn't stop smoking he did stop smoking around shiho and akemi tho going outside to do it instead

as okiya it makes him go wild because he desperately needs to smoke to cope but okiya cant smoke it doesnt fit his image so he smokes a shit ton at night during his nightly drives

shuichi forced himself not to smoke during his time visiting Japan when he met masumi because he knew Mary would get even more upset with him

shuichi was terrible driving American styled cars and he got so upset that he perfected his drive-in techiuque over the years just to spite the instructor that said he was barely passing

he likes to go on late night drives and speed on the high way because he's a thrill seeking idiot

he has no social media but he created on as okiya Subaru to keep an eye on haibara's higo stan account

he takes offense to the idea that he's stalking haibara he's just p r o t e c t i n g her

he wants shiho to be happy more than anything so he's an avid coai shipper and is exhausted in Conan's obliviousness

shuichi didnt tell shukichi he wasn't actually dead shukichi just walked up to okiya Subaru one day and was like shuuichi-ni-san right? shuichi has long stopped questioning shukichi's weird ways of knowing shit he shouldn't know

shuichi is a sherlockian but he's not like shinichi or hakuba in that he does not hate BBC's Sherlock and actually enjoys it a bit

one upside to shuichi living in America is that he gets to hoard guns because he's obsessed with them he thinks they're really cool it's like conan with Sherlock he starts yapping his mouth of about them

bourbon once dangled a gun on in front of a sleeping shuichi cuz he didnt believe scotch when he said that rye was obsessed with guns and started saying incorrect shit about the type of gun he was holding and shuichi just shot up and started berating him

shuichi hates that chianti is a killer because she's the only person who's as much as a gun fanatic as he is

he tends to steal Jodie's car a lot

he likes fucking with peoples heads it's very fun to him to watch them get all worked up

shuichi hasn't mourned his father yet because he doesnt believe his father’s dead

deep down he blames his father for his mother going slightly bonkers

he didnt want masumi to be a detective at first but now hes proud of her

he drinks a lot as okiya Subaru since he cant smoke as much

he's willing to go to hell if it means he can rip gin from limp to limp

he really hates gin yall I dont think I can convey how much he hates gin

[bonecorn]

I love your anatomy/references posts & I love skulls and skeletons & I would love to know how you convince people to give you their animal heads to clean. Also any bone cleaning tips for suburban areas?? When I was living on a farm it was easy to leave stuff out and let the bugs take care of it but my parents said hard no to dead things bleaching on the porch

Oh this is very easy!

Find a friend or acquaintance with land and leave your stuff there. Bug cleaning and tub maceration don't need a lot of hands-on attendance so you can check in however often you like.

There's also "hot water maceration" where you simmer (dont boil!) fresh heads in hot water and remove the cooked meat by hand. Make sure you scramble the brains first and then cook away inside or with a camping stove on the porch. And "bleaching" which is done with hydrogen peroxide can be done inside since the skulls are already clean by then anyway.

I don't actually convince people to give me their pets. For livestock, I ask because most people aren't emotionally attached to their livestock.

For pets, I wait to be offered the remains. More on that under the cut.

TLDR: Know the pet owner, wait to be offered bodies rather than asking. Make sure they are always in control. Ask for livestock no problem. Don't let scavengers eat euthanized meat.

holy crap lol

I don't ask for pet bodies. The trick is to be very open and excited about what you do so that people who know you know about bones and know that you are respectful of animal remains. Then, when a beloved pet dies, they might think about you.

Open up the conversation on death before it's relevant

You can also plant the seed ahead of time during a conversation about bones while the pet in question is alive and healthy. "Sometimes I do pets if their owner is ok with it, though most want to bury. Have you ever thought about that for Baxter?" It's in SUPER poor taste to do this while an animal is dying, when you'll need to be way more tactful.

Know your friend well enough to guess their feelings on it

It SUPER depends on the person and how they view bodies and death. My ex's dog passed away and he was always queasy about corpses. I comforted him and cried with him while his beloved 15 year old dog declined and passed. I didn't ask or even mention it because I knew him enough to know that he would say no, and that asking would be painful and upsetting for him to think about. Same with my dear friend and her 20 year old cat. She had a beautiful pet graveyard with headstones and everything. You just know not to ask some people because traditionally laying bodies to rest is important to them.

Other pet owners are chill about it, ESPECIALLY if they come from a livestock background. Livestock people are used to sending their animals to be recycled into glue and wax when they die, because it's generally not feasible to bury or cremate a horse. If someone does plan to take that on, you know they are absolutely dedicated to traditional burial and won't give you anything.

Make it their choice to offer, rather than it being your request

Anyway. If you know the person, and you know they might be ok with giving up their pet's body due to how they view bodies and death, then you work on making them think about you. First, you comfort and do everything you can to help the person through their grief. If you weren't already planning on doing that, then you have no business asking for their pet. Do not comfort someone in order to get something out of them. That's disgusting. Just straight up ask them for their pet and know that they will view you as tactless and rude, but its better than manipulating them.

What I do is not manipulation, it's reminding people what you do and then letting them make their own decisions. When your friend is feeling a little better and is not crying, you can ask about logistics. I ask "What do you plan to do for burial/with the body?" and that usually makes them think about me and what I do with bodies. If they already have a meaningful spot picked out to bury or scatter/keep ashes, then that means the body is important to them and I shouldn't ask further.

At this point, they should realize what you could use the body for and think about how they feel about that. This is when my sister (who has a livestock background) offered her dog to me. We talked about how she thought of bodies, and she thought that the soul is the only thing that matters and once her dog passes there's nothing important left. I did not say anything to convince her, these were all her own thoughts.

It's very VERY important to respect and love the pet owner because they're extremely vulnerable and emotionally raw. That's why I don't straight up ask, because when you're losing a pet, you don't want to feel like someone is trying to gain something from you.

If your friend says they don't know or haven't decided what to do for the body, you can gently say "Let me know if you want me to help bury it, to take it with me, or to just be there for you." This is a close-ended statement and not a question. A question means that your friend has to come up with an answer right there and then, while an offer is actionable. This puts the power and autonomy in your friend's hands, so that when they make a decision it comes fully from their wants and needs and is not about you and what you want.

Be there for them even if you get nothing out of it

If they don't offer at this point, they're not going to. Now hold up your end of the bargain and continue to comfort and help through the grieving process. Again, if you aren't already invested in this person enough to want to soothe and comfort and be there for the human person in the equation, then you have no business asking for their pet. When a pet dies, your first concern should be to the person. If it's not, then you aren't close enough to ask for goodies.

Helping someone grieve is not payment for their pet's body. If you realize they aren't going to give you something in return for your comfort and so you abandon them, you're a terrible person using their grief to manipulate them for your own gain. Comfort is not payment. Closeness in grief is a metric by which you measure "Do I have any business to ask?"

The pet owner runs the show, not you

Throughout this process, stress that the owner can change their mind at any time. You don't want the owner to think "I hate this but I can't back out now because I promised..." Even when they animal is all wrapped up an in your vehicle and ready to go, quietly tell the owner that they can still choose what happens and if they have second thoughts, that's ok and you won't be mad.

My sister let me be there for putting her dog down and it was all about her and her love for her dog. She carried him out and laid him in my trunk and we stood in the rain and talked and hugged. She then told me she was happy that he could bring happiness to someone in life and now still in death, but that she didn't want to know anything. I agreed not to tell her or post anything about processing her dog, so for her it would be like burial. The same thing happened with my other friend's horse. She spent some time with him and then as soon as he passed she drove away and let me do what I wanted. She didn't want to hear Any of it. Again, I didn't ask or even offer, she came up with the idea of giving me the body all on her own even before I knew he was dying.

Horse people are much closer to pet owners than livestock owners, but they are used to sending their friend's bodies off to a different kind of processing (at Tallow factories, livestock remains are ground up, cut apart, cooked, and spun around to extract various substances that become soap, glue, candles, etc) so they know not to think about what happens after death. It still depends on how well you know the owner and know how they think about death, but if you offer to handle logistics like dealing with the tallow guy, they can actually save money by letting you have it.

You're actually doing livestock a favor

Livestock people are generally chill and have a much more utility/asset view of their animals. If the animal doesn't even have a name they probably don't care what happens when it's dead. In fact, most farmers will jump at the chance to give you their animal for free because calling the tallow company to haul it away costs them money. This is also why in areas with lots of livestock, you sometimes find bodies dumped in ditches or left on the side of the road, because the farmer didn't want to pay to get rid of it so they made it everyone else's problem. Even pet animals like dogs and cats are more Utility than pure companions on a farm, so you might have a better chance of getting remains from a farmer than a neighbor.

One more thing about pets and livestock.

When I find a dead deer, I flay it open and let the vultures eat it. For domestic animals, they are often put to sleep via chemical/drug.

THIS IS POISONOUS TO SCAVENGERS.

DO NOT LET SCAVENGERS EAT EUTHANIZED ANIMALS

Seriously. If you like nature, you need to protect it. Deflesh it yourself, throw all the meat/blood/offal away or bury it 6 feet down. Idk what it does to the environment so I always freeze it and then throw it away on garbage day.

Rot bacteria and beetle larvae dermestids don't mind. In fact, dermestid droppings and pupa shells can be analyzed for toxins by forensic scientists to determine cause of death. Neat! Just make sure that if you process outdoors, the remains are EXTREMELY SECURE and cannot be opened by vultures, coyotes, or wild pigs.

Remember the living, human person

I know I look very clinical by picking apart human emotions, but I respond, feel, love, and grieve just like everyone else. I didn't plan how to get any of the animals in the above stories, I just acted on instinct and these are the ones where that paid off well.

Most of the time if I go "huh. I feel that may not go over well" I can then take that feeling apart and figure out why. So hopefully explaining how my feelings work it can help you listen to your most useful and most compassionate ones.

The living person is always more important than a dead pet. Sometimes you can get the dead pet without distressing your friend, sometimes you shouldn't even try.

Respecting the dead

A final note on working with pets vs wild animals. This is someone's family member, so don't play puppet with it like you might with a skunk skin. Don't take pictures of any part of the process until they are rendered to bones. Pictures of dead pet species are even more distressing to the general public than wild animals, and sick freaks might take your photos and send them to people for kicks or attention. Better to just not have photos than for that to happen.

What processing a pet feels like

Working on a pet is always going to be different for you, the vulture, than a wild animal. Everything you see is touched by human hands. My sister's dog was... beautiful. You don't really realize how moved you're going to be by seeing the perfect amount of healthy fat covering, or beautiful muscles that speak of exercise and attention. She rescued this starving pup and turned him into the healthiest animal I have ever seen. She's a vet assistant and the care and love she put into this dog had me sitting there crying while I held his paws; with their perfectly maintained clipped and sanded nails. I'd only met the dog once for a few minutes when he was alive, but his body was a canvas and every inch was painted with layers and layers of love. It made me so, so sad that his neurological issues couldn't be helped because his body was proof of someone who would stop at nothing to cure what could be cured, and that the last months of his life were happier than he ever imagined.

On the flip side, pets whose bodies show signs of neglect and abuse are going to hit you harder than any deer could. The dog I found discarded in a garbage bag on the side of the road had rotten teeth and nails so long they curled over themselves into hoops. An overgrown and suffering deer is just the sign of nature taking its course. An overgrown and suffering dog is the sign of human cruelty, of shirked responsibility.

Most pets you get will between these two dogs. No owner is perfect. Most old dogs have lost teeth to rot, sick cats too weak to scratch properly may have overgrown nails.

Death as beauty

A pet's body usually a beautiful story full of ups and downs; of owners doing things wrong and then doing things right. A vulture or an artist can read a body like rings on a tree and feel the heart beat in their chest that tells them how strong and full of love this life had been. You need to be ready for this part. Every detail is a message from your fellow human and even though we are all animals and we decompose into the same dirt, we're meant to connect to each other here and now.

Keep your emotions open when working with remains.

Listen to what they have to teach you.

[lloydskywalkers]

any port in a storm

Pixal and Lloyd and the evolving nature of friendship, as highlighted by the regular burning down of your city. 

(desperately trying to break through writer’s block and classes again, this was supposed to be under 2k and it is...very much not hdfjkgh but! i’ve been meaning to write for Pixal and Lloyd for a while so here are a whole bunch of feelings about the two of them and s8)

Pixal meets — truly meets — Lloyd Garmadon shortly after his brother’s been blown to pieces.

She says truly, because if you ask her, Pixal will tell you she met Lloyd Garmadon at exactly 8:48 in the evening outside his father’s monastery, moments before a horde of nindroids led there by Pixal herself descended upon them.

But Lloyd argues that since they said about two words total to each other, it doesn’t really count as meeting, and by the time Pixal’s spending the better part of her day with him running high and low around Ninjago City, she’s learned that it’s easier not to press the point.

Lloyd can be stubborn, like that.

She’d first learned that when she’d met him, just after they’d lost Zane. That loss hadn’t lasted long, especially for Pixal, but the immediate aftermath of it had been devastating. She’d watched with blank eyes as the team had fractured, splitting at the seams as they all fled their separate ways, too heartsore and dizzy with grief to do much otherwise.

All of them had fled, save Lloyd. She hadn’t paid him much attention before that point, the surprisingly small bearer of the Golden Power. Of course, he wasn’t the bearer of that power anymore, but his eyes alone had shown the experience of it. There’d been a brief, lost look that had crossed his face as the others had mentioned leaving, before it had been swept under a mask of stubborn, determined blankness. He wouldn’t be leaving. Someone had to stay behind and watch out for things, he’d claimed, even as the loss had bled through his voice.

Pixal hadn’t quite grasped the concept of empathy at that point, but she’d felt something dangerously close to it.

At any rate, the only interaction they’d had alone was brief. In fact, the only one Pixal can truly remember — and her memory never fails — is the quick exchange they’d had in the hospital lobby directly after the battle. The hospital was for Mr. Borg, and for the ninja’s minor injuries.

There was nothing any hospital on earth could do for Zane.

Pixal had found herself next to Lloyd in the waiting room, trying to distract herself from those thoughts while Lloyd stared at the stark white tiling with dull eyes.

“They never mentioned what your power was,” she’d asked him, almost absently. Collecting data, processing information — anything she could do to distract from the crushing grief.

“Oh.” Lloyd had blinked, startling back into awareness. He’d suddenly looked painfully young. “It’s, ah, I guess it’s just green, now.”

It had been Pixal’s turn to blink. “Green.”

“Yeah.” Lloyd had bit his lip, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, two habits he’ll never quite lose. “I mean — it’s more than that, but it’s like — energy, I guess, is the best way to put it?”

“Interesting,” Pixal had remarked.

“Yeah.”

They’d stared at each other in silence after that, before they’d both been called off to other errands — and then they were having Zane’s funeral and then Pixal was making realizations she never got to tell anyone, and that had been that in her early introductions to Lloyd Garmadon. Quiet, awkward, and possessing an incredible power he hardly even knew the name of.

Looking back, Pixal figures her introduction hadn’t gone much better.

They’d continued as passing acquaintances as time went on, separated by danger and the confines of Zane’s head, and Pixal had figured that’s all they’d ever be. But then their Sensei goes missing and, despite Pixal’s increasing disappearances on Zane as she rebuilds her own body, she’s been given the role of watching out for Ninjago city along with Lloyd.

She quickly learns that quiet is not a term fit for Lloyd Garmadon when you’re trapped alone with him.

************

“How is there not a single station playing actual music?” Lloyd seethes, flicking through the channels almost manically. “It’s two am, who’s gonna be listening to your stupid commercial for toothpaste now, are you kidding me?”

“Statistically speaking, this is the prime time for long-distance driving near Ninjago City,” Pixal supplies, her voice a hint scratchy where it comes through the his car’s radio speakers. “Or, if you factor in the construction in the east district, there could still be traffic from late-night bars.”

Lloyd groans, thunking his head against the steering wheel as another ad screeches through the small space. “Wonderful.”

“Your vocal tones suggest you find it otherwise.”

“Dont trust ‘em, my vocal tones are traitors.” As if to solidify his point, Lloyd’s voice cracks in the middle of his sentence, shooting up an octave higher. Lloyd goes bright red, and thunks his head against the steering wheel again.

Taking pity on him, Pixal aims for reassurance. “It is normal for your voice to break, Lloyd. It shouldn’t last too long.” She pauses, momentarily scanning through another article. “On second thought, this one suggests it could also take two to three years for your voice to stabilize.”

Lloyd gives a strangled moan. “End me.”

“Unfortunately, that would defeat the purpose of why I’m here in the first place.”

Lloyd tilts his head, cracking an eye open as he glances at the camera feed he knows she’s watching him from. “Unfortunately, huh,” he muses. “So you’re saying if Zane hadn’t made you promise to look out for me, you would end me?”

“That — no, that is not — of course I wouldn’t end you,” Pixal backtracks. An odd feeling flickers through her, almost as if she’s lost her place, floundering.

Or embarrassed might be more accurate, she thinks wryly. She briefly considers projecting a a glaring face at Lloyd from the monitor. This is his fault. She rarely stuttered before Lloyd started teasing her at all hours of the morning.

“I mean, you wouldn’t be the first,” Lloyd continues, conversationally. “And if we’re being honest, I’d definitely rather you be the one to off me, instead of like, random bad guy number eighty-five—”

“I know you think you are funny,” Pixal cuts over him. “But casually planning for your death is something Kai listed I was not to let you do. Also, it is not nearly as funny as you think it is.”

“Ouch,” Lloyd mutters, though he looks chastised. “Never mind, you just took me out in one sentence.”

Chastised might be the wrong term.

Pixal studies him through the monitor, then sighs. “I am, however, honored you think highly enough of me to offer the right to murder you,” she gives in.

She’s rewarded as Lloyd breaks into a bright grin.

He still looks painfully young these days, but it’s less obvious. His voice is pitching lower and he wears his hair different, and he’s gained a whip-like tendency to quip at people, as Pixal’s experienced firsthand. Kai calls it sass in grumbling but fond tones, and Nya calls it snark somewhere between the fourth book series she’s sent for Pixal to try.

The ninja have been kind like that, sharing the interests they have in an attempt to make her feel…well, more human, she supposes. Less confined to a voice in a computer. Of course, Pixal isn’t confined to a voice in a computer anymore, but they don’t know that yet. She’ll tell them someday soon, she promises herself. Any day now.

In the meantime, it’s easy enough to keep up with Lloyd by lurking in his car radio, as he spends half his time in there anyways.

************

“You’d think we’d have found their hideout by now,” Lloyd notes, as they wait in a darkened alleyway again. It gives them an excellent view of the major highways, so if the rumored biker gang does show up, they won’t miss it.

If they show up being the key point.

“Whoever their leader is, they certainly know how to keep a low profile,” Pixal answers, closing out another dead end police report in frustration.

“It’s weird,” Lloyd says, propping the notebook he’s sketching in on his knee as he squints at the paper. “Normally the boss types aren’t this quiet. They like to show off, y’know? Make a big scene, dramatic speeches and all.”

“Are you referring to the villains, or yourselves?”

“Touché,” Lloyd snorts. “But still, you gotta admit it’s weird they haven’t even made any demands. What’s their end game here, elaborate advertising for motorcycle design?”

“I would hope not,” Pixal says. “Their color coordination is lacking.”

Lloyd fights back a smile, his pencil scratching as he shifts his notebook again. “I don’t know, I kinda like the punk look.”

“I noticed that, when you tried to redecorate the car.”

“Hey, skulls are cool.”

“They are also conspicuous, especially when they come in acid green colors.”

“Everyone’s a critic,” Lloyd sighs, making a face as he scrubs the eraser across the paper. Pixal tries to tilt the camera further, to see what he’s drawing tonight, but the angle he’s holding it at remains just out of sight.

She could probably guess what he’s drawing, if she tried. The notebook is one they’ve been steadily working their way through on these late-night patrols, the pages filled with little hangman games and Lloyd’s sketches of animals and his teammates. He’s drawn her a few times from memory, and she’s been tempted to ask him to draw her in the new Samurai X armor more than once.

Soon, she tells herself.

“What are you drawing?” she finally asks, curiosity getting the better of her.

Lloyd’s cheeks tinge pink, and he quickly plasters the notebook to his chest, hiding it entirely from view. “Nothing.”

Pixal waits, letting the silence fill with her judgement. “Lloyd, I have seen your drawings before.”

He doesn’t reply, and Pixal tries again. “It gets boring, being stuck with the car monitors for eyes.”

“I know you can hack other cameras,” Lloyd mutters, but he sighs, relenting as he turns the notebook over. Pixal’s eyes rake over the detailed sketch — it’s a comical little thing of her and Lloyd, jammed together on a tiny lifeboat in the middle of a darkening ocean. She can spot the smudges where he’s redrawn her head several times, and the numerous attempts he’s made at his own hair. Pixal studies Lloyd’s portrayal of himself, which is noticeably lacking in facial features. While Lloyd draws the others plenty, it’s a rare occasion that he draws himself, and she can’t help but be curious.

“I thought you were drawing the others again,” she admits.

“They’re on the ship,” Lloyd says, absently. “I’ll draw them when they remember to pull us back in.”

There’s nothing bitter in his tone to suggest it has any bearing on their actual lives, but the lost expressions Lloyd ends up giving their tiny caricatures feel familiar nonetheless.

“Zane has assured me they will be back as soon as they can,” Pixal speaks ups quietly.

Lloyd finally looks up fully, and flashes the monitor a smile. “I know,” he says. “So we better have this thing busted by the time they do, or they’ll never let us run a city on our own again.”

“If only we were truly running the city,” Pixal grumbles. “I could do a better job in two days than the current leaders could do in a year.”

“I’d vote for you,” Lloyd says, sincerely.

It’s a sweet gesture, but Pixal is unable to resist. “You don’t know how to vote.”

“Yes I do, it’s not hard!”

“Really? Then why are you not currently registered in the Ninjago voting system?”

Lloyd makes a strangled noise. “That’s a thing?”

She’s unable to keep the smugness from her voice. “I make my point.” Lloyd scowls, and scribbles a mustache on his drawing of her in revenge.

Pixal thinks it looks nice nonetheless.

************

She can’t really hold it against Lloyd for talking as much as he does, considering she does the same. It gets dull, sitting on patrol for hours on end, and there are only so many hours of light reading they can do before the silence begins to drive them both insane.

Pixal finds herself talking about more useless things with Lloyd than she has in her existence, pointless conversations in circles with each other. She also finds she doesn’t entirely mind. She’s become quite good at quipping back and forth with him, at least. It’s different than the kind of talk she has with Zane, lacking in the depth of feeling with the love they share. Her exchanges with Lloyd are lighter, though that’s not to say they’re less sincere.

For example, Zane hasn’t tried to teach her how to redesign a gi in poor lighting in the early hours of the morning because he’s bored out of his mind, that’s for sure.

“I’m teaching you how to sew,” Lloyd corrects, wincing as he accidentally stabs himself with the needle. “And I’m not redesigning the whole thing, I’m just adding some designs to spice it up.”

“I did not know you were allowed to wear colors other than green,” Pixal comments.

Lloyd pauses, squinting at the monitor. “You’re teasing me,” he finally says. “You’re making fun of how much green this gi has in it.”

“I would never,” Pixal replies, her tone flat and even. “The intricacies of your human humor evade me—”

“Human humor, nice—”

“—unlike the unusually bright shade of green you’ve chosen will fail to evade any eyes of your enemies.”

“I knew you were making fun of me!” Lloyd accuses, then flinches as he stabs his finger again trying to point at her. “And bright colors are our thing. Being subtle is, uh…not. Usually.”

Pixal is losing the battle to laugh at his expression by the minute. “I am shocked.”

Lloyd glares at the monitor, shifting his sewing to rest on his knees as he slouches in the car seat. “How’d you even get so good at sarcasm, anyways,” he mutters. “Zane still doesn’t get it half the time.”

“Perhaps it is part of my glowing personality,” Pixal says. Lloyd gives a huff of laughter, relenting.

“Fair enough,” he says, shifting in his seat again. “Fine, you win. The green is probably too bright, but that’s not the point. I’m gonna show you how to do a backstitch."

Pixal falls quiet, letting Lloyd gesture with the needle as he explains. There are a hundred, a thousand tutorials she could pull up online, digitized knowledge instantly learned on all the countless types of stitches she could use, sorted and categorized in neat columns of use and effectiveness. All of them more detailed, more easily understood than Lloyd’s absent rambling and unsteady hands as he struggles with the end of a knot.

Not one of them will care whether or not Pixal learns the odd way Zane likes to loop his stitches, or will quietly add which stitches knit skin back together quickest.

So Pixal ignores her programming, and does her best to follow Lloyd’s rambling instructions, watching as his scarred fingers tug another thread of dull gold through the green mess of fabric, the city quiet around them.

“You never did tell me where you learned how to sew,” Pixal says, as Lloyd starts up a new thread of black on the other side of the gi. “Was that something the others taught you in training?”

“They’d have to know how to be able to teach it,” Lloyd snickers. “And, uh, no. I taught myself to back at Darkley’s.”

“Oh,” Pixal falters. She’s heard about Darkley’s, both from Zane and the legal reports she’s read online. Neither gave a positive impression of the place. Her mind is suddenly filled with images of a younger Lloyd trying to give himself stitches, and her heart twists.

Lloyd starts, seemingly having picked up on her train of thought. “I mean, I did it for fun, mostly. I like sewing,” he explains. “It’s useful. You can pull things back together, and fix ‘em.”

Pixal is quiet, but she hopes Lloyd takes her silence as agreement with his motive. She likes to think he knows her well enough for that, by now.

************

Pixal finds, somewhere during their fourth month alone, that she’s glad the team elected to stick her and Lloyd together. Not because she doesn’t want to be with Zane — there’s never a moment she doesn’t miss him, and with every day that passes her resolve to keep her secret from him grows weaker, as the longing for actual connection grows stronger.

But there are conversations she can have with Lloyd that she can never have with Zane, and the dangerous thing about spending time with Lloyd, Pixal finds, is that they’re more similar than she’s realized.

“Sometimes I think I’m jealous,” Lloyd whispers to her one night. It’s one of the bad ones, the ones where their enemies struck too sudden to stop, and the mission ends in the hospital. “I think I’m jealous of Zane, and I hate myself for it.”

Pixal is quiet, trying to pick apart the tone of his voice in the words he’s just spoken, and factors in the victims they’ve just left behind at the hospital. She finds herself no closer to an answer.

“Is it the metal skin part?” she finally asks, though she knows that’s wrong. “The, what was it, technical immortality?”

“No,” Lloyd shakes his head. “I’m not afraid of dying,” he says emphatically, his fingers fluttering at over the steering wheel, tapping incessantly with unspent energy. “I don’t want to, but that’s — it’s not what I’m scared of. I’m more scared of how I go out.”

He swallows, and his fingers move to dance over the woven bracelet on his wrist instead, twisting at the tiny beads and tracing senseless designs in constant, steady movement. It’s a motion he does often, and it had puzzled Pixal at first. She’d decided to write it off as an odd tick, a way to spend excess energy.

Now, she recognizes the desperate kind of reassurance that movement gives. She understands too well the need to remind yourself that you can move — that your body will obey you and you alone.

Pixal thinks back to the other factors in tonight’s accident, of the way the drugged man’s eyes had cleared when they’d finally turned him over to the police, the way he’d sworn he’d never do such a thing in his right mind. She thinks of the way the first victim had thrown themselves over their companion.

That victim hadn’t made it to the hospital.

“Ah,” Pixal says, quietly.

She’s silent again, and she thinks back to when she’d met him, the very first time. She recalls the way her programming had rebelled against her in favor of the Overlord, corrupting her body and forcing it against her, twisting everything she was and wanted to be into something different.

She thinks back again, to the searing-hot anger, the terror, the despair as she was torn apart, piece by piece like a machine, burning out at the whims of another. Her end purposeless, her demise belonging to someone else, just like every other part of her.

She thinks of the last glimpse she’d caught of Zane, bright and beautiful as a supernova. Burning with the terrible brilliance of his own, determined choice. Terrible, because the death of something always is. Beautiful, because it was his own. Zane died, not a machine, not a weapon, not a tool of anyone or anything, but as himself. Zane died to save the ones he loves. Pixal could’ve died for spare parts.

Never again, she promises herself. If she goes out, she goes out on her own terms. This time, they choose the end of their own destiny themselves.

In hindsight, it’s the kind of promise they’re both too young to make, but neither of them have ever seen themselves as such, and promises like that are easy.

“Love can be terrible, sometimes,” Lloyd murmurs. Pixal watches him scrub at the blood on his uniform, and thinks how ironically well-timed it is that he finished the stitching on his new gi this morning. “Sometimes I forget how ugly it can be.”

************

The end of their nighttime stakeouts begins with a break-in at Mr. Borg’s tower. Lloyd argues that she should get to call it her father’s tower, if she wants, but the ninja aren’t the only ones Pixal’s hiding herself from.

And then Lloyd gets very tense at the thought of fathers very fast, and they never finish the conversation.

They stay at the edge of the bridge long after the parachute, emblazoned with the unmistakable visage of Lloyd’s father, disappears from sight. Pixal wonders if it’s burned into Lloyd’s eyes, like the way she’s read black spots linger in humans’ vision after they’ve looked at something too bright. The way Lloyd stares at the river, his shoulders tense and his teeth worrying at his lip, she thinks she might be right.

They’re waiting on the report from the commissioner —they’re waiting for anything, anyone who can offer them any explanation of what’s going on. Pixal’s reminded of how much she loathes this kind of waiting.

“It could be—” Lloyd begins, then breaks off, his voice wavering. He swallows, and Pixal can see the way his fists clench tightly from the cameras they’ve put in his car. There’s a fierce part of her that longs to reveal herself, to meet his eyes herself and offer some semblance of comfort. But there’s a time and place for things, and Pixal isn’t ready.

“It could be anything,” Lloyd finally continues, his voice small. “It could — it doesn’t mean anything. It could mean nothing, right?”

Pixal is silent, her mind racing. She’s run the calculations over and over in her head already, scouring the internet for anything related to the bikers. She’s been foolish, she realizes — they both have. Letting the gang go unnamed for so long, thinking nothing of it. Now, with the name flashing vibrant across Pixal’s vision, a part of her wants to let them go nameless just a bit longer.

Before she can answer, Lloyds phone goes off with a sharp ping, just as Pixal’s sensors alert her to the message from the commissioner. Lloyd snatches for his phone like it’s on fire, and Pixal’s already scanning the message frantically, as if she can salvage this if she’s fast enough, save Lloyd from this one pain.

Lloyd’s gotten much better at reading quickly though, these days.

She can pinpoint the moment he reaches the last paragraph, because his breath hitches. There’s a long, pressing pause of silence, Lloyd’s hands trembling as they clutch weakly at his phone. Then it’s punctured by a reedy, wheezing gasp, and Pixal’s suddenly wishing she’d revealed herself after all.

Instead, all she has is her voice as Lloyd crumples, crouching over in visible distress. Pixal’s mind races, recalling everything Zane’s ever told her about his team, the way their panic manifests in different shades. Lloyd’s is quiet but desperate, rapid breathes that stutter as his eyes slide more and more into a frightening kind of blankness.

“Lloyd, please, listen to my voice,” she begs, trying to reach him in the only way she can. “Please, you have to breathe—”

“He’s gone,” Lloyd rasps, unhearing of her words. “He’s s’posed to be gone, it’s supposed to be over, I’m supposed to be done—”

Pixal fights back the sense of overwhelming helplessness. She knows loss. She knows how to finish his sentence. He’s supposed to be done grieving, done mourning, done clinging to false scraps of hope that his father isn’t lost forever only to be met with heartbreak.

And now, to be met with the possibility of something so much worse.

“We’ll stop them,” she tells him, unflinching. “We won’t let it happen.”

Lloyd’s eyes are a vivid green where they stare at her through the monitor, almost ghostly in the misting light reflecting from the river.

He’s silent, but Pixal is, too.

Pixal remembers the way her head had spun when she’d first picked up the traces of Zane in the system, how the world had rushed then steadied, flooding with color as she’d realized he might not be lost after all. She remembers the surging, overwhelming flood of joy, that someone she’d thought she lost might live after all. She remembers being so happy, at even the smallest chance to get him back, because the voice was Zane’s, without a doubt.

She watches the color seep from Lloyd’s expression as his shoulders shudder, the words from the commissioner’s message almost echoing through the air. Watches the terror as the both of them fill the silence.

Will we?  

The radio scratches, as if echoing Pixal’s anxiety. Love can be terrible, sometimes. She’s underestimated how it also be so cruel.

************

She’s also, apparently, underestimated how the universe on the whole could be so cruel.

She should’ve revealed herself to them from day one. That way, when Harumi’s corrupted programming suddenly ravages through her like an electric shock, she could be reassured they’d at least be familiar with the person they were fighting.

Instead, she doesn’t even get to scream. Pixal’s only able to force out a desperate, broken warning before she’s lost again, drowning in her own body as she’s forced under. Furious panic grips her as she screams without lungs, bashing herself against the overwhelming helplessness that’s taken over her.

Not again, not again, not again—

Her limbs creak and jolt against her will, lashing out at the people she cares most about, and Pixal can’t even rage back in her own voice. She’s sworn, she’s promised herself she’d never let anyone do this to her again — she’s sworn she’d die before she let someone reach into her head and snatch control away, and yet here she is, frozen as her body’s used to target her friends.

If she could cry, she might.

There’s not much more to say than that. She breaks free, her body her own once again, but by then it’s too late.

************

If Pixal had the same gift of foresight that Zane did, maybe she would have seen it coming. Maybe she’d have remembered how similar her and Lloyd are, and that this kind of pained desperation always yields impulsiveness and mistakes.

She doesn’t, though. She barely even manages to do what she’s trying to, which is convincing Lloyd to join the others while they celebrate their victory. Their off-key singing is something he normally wouldn’t hesitate to join in on, she thinks, and she hates Harumi a little more.

Maybe she’ll try his mother next. The expression on Lloyd’s face screams unapproachable, and remains fixedly sullen.

Almost to her surprise, he meets her eyes as she draws near— it’s odd, being able to meet his back — and his own eyes are dark, from despair over Harumi or despair over his father, Pixal isn’t sure. She’s thinking it might be both, when his eyebrows crease, and a flicker of concern cuts through them instead.

“You good?”

It takes her a moment to realize why he’s asking, but the answer is obvious. Her head tilts downward, and she watches as her fingers curl and uncurl. Her movements, her choices. She lets out an even breath.

“As I can be,” she replies. Lloyd nods, and his eyes are understanding. His lips twist in a scowl.

“She shouldn’t have done that to you. That was a low blow.”

Pixal’s mouth curves into a humorless smile. “That it was. She’s rather good at those, isn’t she.”

Lloyd’s eyes shadow again, and he looks away, crossing his arms. “This isn’t supposed to be about me,” he mutters.

“Yes, it is,” Pixal counters. “It is why I came over here, in the first place. She hurt—”

“All of us, and who’s fault is that,” Lloyd snaps, his arms crossing tighter.

“I would hope you know it’s hers,” she says, holding firm.

Lloyd looks away again, biting his lip, and Pixal shifts anxiously, rolling her wrists. The sensation of control sliding away still haunts her, worse than it had the first time. She should be better than this, she tells herself hotly. She’s lived without a body long enough that losing it so briefly shouldn’t effect her this much.

Curse her programming, she thinks, tapping agitatedly at the banister. She knew she should have reinforce it sooner.

“Hey, um.” Lloyd is looking at her again, hesitant. He twists at his bracelet, and his eyes lose a fraction of that darkness. “Kai made this for me, after Morro,” he says. “I kept shredding the sleeves of my uniform, so he told me to mess with this instead, when I needed to remember that…that I was in control.”

He shrugs, hesitant. “We could make you one too, if you wanted. It helps, having something.”

Pixal lets out a steady breath, despite not actually needing to. The action is grounding, she’s found. “I would like that.”

Lloyd gives her a ghost of a smile in return. “Soon as this is over, then.”

There’s a heavy weight to his words, and Pixal’s eyes narrow.

“Lloyd,” she says. He looks at her, his eyes dark. “Don’t do anything foolish.”

He’s quiet, not meeting her eyes, and this is where Pixal should stop him. This is when she should see the end of the road they’ve been on since they started this, and force him to turn before it’s too late.

“I know what I’m doing.”

She doesn’t.

************

Lloyd is battered and bleeding by the time they drag him onto the ship, a gruesome portrait of cruelty. Pixal is frozen as she watches him writhe in Kai’s hold, his screams cracked and wet as he thrashes erratically like a broken thing.

Nya is already barking orders before they’ve even gotten Lloyd fully on the ship, and Zane is running scans with a horrified, wavering focus. Pixal follows Cole as he carries Lloyd to the medbay with a blank numbness, the rush of wind streaming past the Bounty sails thunderously loud in her ears.

This isn’t Lloyd, she thinks, staring at his crumpled form. Lloyd isn’t this battered, broken shell of a person. Lloyd isn’t hazy eyes that fail to recognize them and frantic murmuring through bloody lips. Lloyd is bright-eyed and gentle and would rather die before he screams the way he does when Cole moves him to the table.

Lloyd is her friend, and this is where that promise they made has led them. She knows why Lloyd set out for the prison, hot on the collapse of his own star. She also knows he wouldn’t have chosen to burn out like this.

Cole calls out for Zane, his voice ringing in panic as Lloyd screeches in pain again. Pixal thinks of quiet words in the safety of his car, and she feels sick. This is the ugliness of love, the terrible, hideous side of it.

And Lloyd would hate it, if he could see himself, if he were any semblance of lucid. He’d hate to know just how much better he was at breaking himself than Morro ever was.

Zane is gentle as he pushes past her, but Pixal can feel the tremble in his hands. He’s every bit as rattled as she is, if not more so — Zane’s heart is larger and softer than hers has ever been, and he cares about each and every one of them with a painful intensity. It’s a cruel thing, to have to pull those same people back together with your own hands.

Kai’s eyes are streaming as he clutches at Lloyd’s wrists, pinning him in place. Zane’s hands waver again over one of the jagged wounds near Lloyd’s ribcage, the green of his uniform already dyed dark in blood, soaking over the careful stitches Pixal watched him put in himself.

Pixal finally finds her footing, reminding herself of the solid wood beneath her feet. She recalls the steady, smooth stitch Lloyd’s scarred fingers traced out for her.

“Here.” She takes the needle from Zane’s hands, squeezing his briefly before letting go. “I can do it.”

She sets the needle against Lloyd’s skin and wonders what kind of stitch it’d take to pull your heart back together.  

************

Pixal cannot cry. It’s one of the features Mr. Borg spent hours debating, weighing the pros and cons of giving her the ability before he was truly sure how rust-proof she was. He’d never gotten the chance to, as the Overlord had interrupted him, then Pixal had lost any body to give the ability to cry to, which had eliminated the need entirely.

She cannot cry, but she can hurt, and the rain that streams through her hair, dripping down her forehead spotting raindrops on her cheeks, could be tears if she pretended.

She doesn’t, though, because tears are a waste of water and overall useless in the grand scheme of things. She doubts they’d have helped her fare any better in the battle with Colossi, either.

Tears won’t bring anyone back.

Lloyd cries anyways. She can’t see him, but she can hear it in his voice, the way it wavers and breaks over the radio, nasally tones pronounced.

He’s barely able to gasp a few coordinates to her before he cuts the radio off abruptly. Pixal’s spent enough time with him to envision his scarred fingers snapping it off with a particular desperation, green sparking from his hands in distress.

She reminds herself those sparks are gone, now, bled away into nothing like the vivid green of Lloyd’s eyes had. The thought makes her sadder than she’d expected. She had a joke, about his eyes, she had wanted to make. Now that she has a body, and her own set of glowing green eyes, she’d — there was something he would’ve laughed at, she thought —

It doesn’t matter, now. Neither of them are likely to laugh anytime soon.

The coordinates blink brightly in her vision, and she’s almost surprised she managed to key them in. She’s running on autopilot, she supposes. It could be ironic — she’s been so desperate for control, it’s been so important that she’s the one feeling. Now, she’d give anything not to feel at all.

She lets out a shaky breath, dispelling the mist in her vision left from the rain. She leans forward, just over the edge of the building she’s crouched on, and her loose hair falls forward, silvery and synthetic and horribly tangled. Irritated, she reaches for another hair tie, and her hands falter around her wrist.

Lloyd had promised her a bracelet there. But he’d promised Kai would make the bracelet, hadn’t he, and Kai couldn’t make the bracelet if he was dead, could he.

Pixal blinks, her breath hitching. She’s been so numb to the pain of Zane’s loss, it hasn’t yet occurred to her that she’s losing Kai, too. And Jay, and Cole, and—

She sucks in the same shuddery kind of breath she’s seen Lloyd do, and carefully fists her hand in the area of her uniform above her chest. Her fingers dig in tightly, clutching in a hopeless attempt to feel some sort of comfort she knows she’ll never find.

But perhaps, for these few seconds, she can pretend the action is holding her together.

************

“It was inevitable,” Pixal tells Lloyd blankly, as he rasps out his third apology in the dark cover of their small hideout. “That one of us would fall, eventually. It had nothing to do with you.”

Lloyd swallows thickly. “It could’ve — it should’ve been—”

He doesn’t finish, but he doesn’t need to. Pixal’s hand shoots out, clamping tightly around his wrist, and there’s a beat of gratitude that she doesn’t need to rely on her voice alone anymore.

“Don’t.” Her voice is strung tighter than the tension in their shoulders. “You cannot change anything. You can’t, Lloyd, and you should not wish to — to change it that way.”

Lloyd jerks his hand free, wiping miserably at his eyes. He sets it back down within her reach, though, and if Pixal were any different, she’d take it.

But Pixal isn’t that different from Lloyd at all in the end, and neither of them reach for the other’s hand, no matter how desperately they crave the contact. Fear is more familiar, and it’s easier to give into it than it is the clawing need for comfort in your chest, after all.

“Still,” Lloyd finally whispers. “Still.”

Pixal swallows. She doesn’t disagree. If one of them had to fall, she knows she gladly would have taken it upon herself. She knows the others care for her, certainly, but she also knows her place in the grand scheme of things. They were six before she came along, and even now she’s kept far too many secrets to be fully counted among them.

She listens to Lloyd’s quiet, cracked voice, and she wonders if he’s thinking that they were five before he came along, younger than Pixal got to know him as.

Now they’re three, hollow and heartbroken. Though counting herself as one whole feels like cheating, right now.

Pixal squeezes her eyes shut, and wonders what it’s like to cry. Perhaps it helps, though Lloyd doesn’t look any less miserable.

************

“I was thinking,” Lloyd tells her, during one of the precious few quiet moments they have while trying to overthrow Garmadon and Harumi. Pixal’s turning the tiny tea flower he’d given her over in her hands, a part of her mind already marking articles about flower-pressing, another part wondering if it’s already too late to save the blossom. “About that promise we made, before all this.”

Pixal finally tucks the flower into the pocket of her uniform, pressed close to her chest. If anything, it can be a reminder of the lives that are safe — the life that’s coming back to her, if she has to drag him back from another realm herself. “And?”

Lloyd’s hands twist together. “Maybe we should focus more on staying alive.”

Pixal coughs out a laugh, breathless and startled. Lloyd wrinkles his nose at her, but his eyes are amused, even with their light lost. “I mean, the emphasis would be on keeping everyone else alive, but it’s kinda hard to do that if we’re dead, so…yeah. Priorities.”

“Staying alive should always be a priority,” Pixal corrects him, but she tugs the edge of his armor out of place with a smile.

“Why didn’t you teach me how to graffiti?” she nods at the designs on the green leather. “Or was this another Darkley’s tradition.”

“This is a refined art, called whatever I had on me that showed up on dark green,” Lloyd grumbles, fixing his armor. “I’ll teach it to you when we get out of this.”

“Another reason why staying alive would be a more productive focus,” Pixal points out. “I’ve heard teaching is easier when you’re alive.”

“And I’ve heard you’re a real riot,” Lloyd mutters. “It’s a promise, okay? I promise to teach you how to do cool armor design if you promise not to disappear into another realm on me.”

Pixal nods, adjusting her own armor tighter as screams ring out from a street nearby. “A promise, then.”

She keeps both the promise and the flower, the tiny blossom dried and faded by the time she’s escaped from the prison, heart racing with leftover adrenaline as Zane sweeps her into his arms. She clutches back every bit as tight, listening to his breathless laughter as cheers rise from the streets behind them, the smoke drifting across the early morning sky above them pale against the lightening blue. Pixal buries her face in his shoulder and breathes, tucking the moment away in her heart where it won’t fade. There’s a future stretching out before her, and she’s got the limbs to walk her path on her own, but all she wants right now is the steady ground beneath her feet and the bright laughter of what she’s managed to keep.  

Lloyd meets them shortly after, his own promise kept as he tears his gaze from his father, handing him off to the authorities before sprinting for the others. Pixal barely snags a moment alone with him, and even then no one’s particularly keen on letting him out of their sights.

He meets her eyes as they pick their way through the wrecked streets, the city more alive around them than it’s been in weeks. In the dark of the early morning, Pixal’s eyes glow a bright green, reflecting oddly in the windows they pass. It’s always been her preferred color, in contrast to Zane’s bright blue. Lloyd glances at her, his own eerily green eyes glowing back. He bites his lip, but it’s to hold back real laughter this time.

“My eyes were green first,” she tells him.

“Sue me,” he shoots back, before Kai’s throwing an arm over his shoulders again, tucking Lloyd neatly in between him and Nya. Pixal smothers a laugh at the look on his face, and tightens her own arm further where it’s linked firmly in Zane’s.  

It’s going to be an easy promise to keep, she thinks.  

[himbo-kuto]

i saw this screencap from the manga and knew IMMEDIATELY that i would have to write a lil headcanon of aone and his turtle. he is literally the most precious person who deserves the whole entire world.

i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it!

genre: fluff, wholesomeness, a whole baked bean, college!au pairing: aone x gn!reader word count: 2k warning: language

okay so you ended up being roommates with aone, futakuchi, and mai when you ended up transferring colleges last minute and needed housing

you saw that they had an empty spot and with time not being on your side, you decided to take the opportunity!! apt 205 squad!!

at first you kind of felt left out since they all knew each other from date tech but you soon warmed up to futakuchi since you had a few classes with him and mai because well-- you guys shared a room

HOWEVER!! one person you couldn’t seem to get close to was a man by the name of takanobu aone-- lemme tell u sumn about this Baked Bean

whenever you tried to interact with him, all he would do is 👁 👄 👁  or just Grunt in response

you were a bit discouraged because you thought he didn’t like you so you shied away from talking to him again :(

but futakuchi was quick to ensure you that was just his way of communicating and that he was actually really engaged in the conversation 

“oh yeah, he’s a great listener-- i talk to him for hours and he just sits and listens”

“ok futakuchi-san, but have you considered that you talk Too much for your own good?”

he gave you the finger for that one

but omg the first time aone Spoke to you????? rocked ur mf world-- what the Heck!!

you were in the mood to bake some cookies and were looking for the big mixing bowls but you just remembered that futakuchi used it to try and make a baking soda volcano 

why??? who knows but all you do know is that he put it ALL the way on the top shelf-- and for what????

but u know-- bein dumb as dirt u tried to use a swivel chair to try and reach for them

and of course it was all the way in the back like wtf curse these tall men-- 

and so you got on your tippy toes and right as you were about to reach it, Of Course the chair decided to turn 

and u were 🤏🏼 this close to eating shit but thanks to the one-- the only-- tol angel baby aone, he stopped the chair dead in its tracks just in time for you to regain your balance

“are you okay?”

you were so shook (one from almost breaking your face and two-- AONE JUST SPOKE AND SAVED YOU!!!) 

at first you just stood there blinking down at him with the bowls in your arms like hinata season 4, episode 15 - 15:37

he held up his arms to you and you blushed so hard because was he really about to carry you down????

but before your mind had anytime to roam, he pointed to the bowls and you realized with your real eyes that you were not the one to whom he was referring to 

it wasn’t long until you got over your initial iron wall with aone (…. 😏)  and he actually ended up being someone you hung out with on a regular basis

mai was always out studying for her practicals in the library while futakuchi… well.. who even knows what the heck that man is up to..

but ANYWAYS!! you guys would hang out mostly in the living room to watch TV, do homework and eat meals-- he always helped you with your math homework and you helped him with his architecture models!! 

you didn’t really know what he liked to watch but he didn’t seem to oppose whatever you had on-- however, you Did notice that whenever you put on volleyball he stared very intensely at the TV only stopping when commercials came on

aone Always ate your home cooked meals without fail

literally such a sweet and appreciative boy as opposed to futakuchi who would complain but one time aone gave him That Look™️ and he shut right the fuck up

that day forward futakuchi ate all your meals like a good boy

aone has also become very protective of you-- in high school, he may have locked onto the aces of the other teams, but in college he locked onto his close friends to make sure they were safe

one time you guys got onto a cramped bus to go grocery shopping and all it took was this creepo man to just Look at you the wrong way for aone to stand right in front of you and shoot this man a death glare that said “if you even think about touching her i’ll put you into the ground” 

HE MAY HAVE A HEART OF GOLD BUT DONT MESS WITH THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT OR ELSE IT’S HANDS 

but know this ladies, gents and my non-binary friends, we MOST DEFINITELY sit next to aone on the bus and engage in the best of conversations because tHATS WHAT THIS MAN DESERVES!!!!!!!!! 

not to mention all the times he has saved you due to your clumsiness and overall single brain cell fueled activities 

one fateful day you were sitting in the living room as you saw aone come home with a whole bag of groceries

he didn’t put them into the communal fridge so you were a bit confused as to why he took them straight into his room

you weren’t one to just bust in there to try and find out so later when you guys were eating dinner you asked him what he bought at the store

he listed off a bunch of produce and then said that they were for his turtle!!!!

you were all !!?!?!??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 TURTLE?????? WHERE??? HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN HERE??? CAN I SEE THEM?

he goes on to tell you that he’s had the turtle ever since they all moved in!! but it never came up in conversation so you never knew until now

him and futakuchi rescued the turtle but when they tried to let them go, they didn’t go anywhere so they kept them!! 

so after dinner you both quickly washed the dishes, and he brought you into their room to show you his turtle

you were honestly a bit nervous going into their room-- like what were you to expect??? was it going to be messy?? stinky?? clean??? were there any secrets????

but to your surprise it was fairly clean and simple-- even futakuchi’s side (which you assumed was aone’s doing)

you looked around his room to find all these old pictures of date tech on the wall, many of them with futakuchi and mai

there was even a photo of all the third years clinging to aone like koalas on a tree and though his expression was faint, you could tell that he was happy

it warmed your heart to see that he got along with his teammates and held these memories close to him-- they accepted him for who he was and that was more than enough for you

he also had plethora of architecture books on his shelves which made you wonder why he picked that major in the first place

but you shrugged it off as you looked over to his desk

there was a table next to it with an enclosure and a cute little turtle sunbathing underneath a lamp inside

you scurried over to the tank, getting down on your knees to get eye level with the animal while you slowly brought your face to the glass  

the turtle was half curled into its shell, looking up at you as he gave you a slow blink

you could’ve sworn you felt your heart explode and melt all at once in that Exact moment

you looked up at aone with 🥺 eyes before looking back to reptile to see them poking their head out to fully greet you 

you squealed internally as you wiggled your finger as your salutations

“do they have a name?” 🥺 

“ichigo-desu...” (strawberry)

you thought your heart exploded before?????????????

oh bitch you felt like you were about to go into full blown cARDIAC ARREST MY G O D!!!!!!

“did futakuchi name them?”

“no i did…”

you literally hunched over, and leaned onto the desk for support as your heart was filled with his soft boy energy because there was no wAY!!! DID AONE JUST NAME THIS TURTLE ICHHHIGOOOO BITCHHH AHHH

but lowkey aone was also being filled with your soft energy and got all blushy-- but thank god you were too occupied by his turtle to notice

“do you want to feed him a strawberry? it’s his dinner time too”

you could not have said yes faster to this man 

he went into his personal fridge and there you saw all the groceries he had earlier that day!! he pulled out a single strawberry before handing it over to you

he walked over to the tank and cautiously pulled out ichigo before placing them on the ground

HOWEVERRRRRR!! what came next you didn’t expect at all

he walked around so that he was behind you, gingerly reached for your hand and guided you to hold the strawberry out for ichigo 

ichigo craned their neck in the sight of the fruit and started chowing down

and by God you hoped that aone could not hear your loud ass heartbeat and see your red ass face-- (you were surprised that ichigo wasn’t going after you since your face might as well have been a strawberry)

you two sat in a comfortable silence as you watched the little reptile enjoy his dinner 

as ichigo drew closer to the leafy bit, you wanted to ask aone if he was allowed to eat that part 

so you turned your head to the side to speak but immediately closed your mouth as aone’s face was only centimeters away from yours 

you thought you were red back then???? bitch buckle up cause we’re reaching a new LEVEL of red

at that moment you were no think, no thought, head EMPTY as you just stared at his profile 

all of his features were strong... the bridge of his nose, his jawline, his expression-- he himself was a strong man and you just wondered how all this soft, fluffy, wholesomeness was packed into this 192cm man

and just as you relaxed into this position

FUTAKUCHI BUSTS THROUGH THE DOOR WITHOUT ANY KIND OF WARNING JUST TALKIN OUT OF HIS ASS 

at first he’s so absorbed into his own conversation that he doesn’t even notice you guys in that position

but when he does??? it’s like those moments in animes where you’re all chibitized and you just have circle eyes and a blank expression o_o

you IMMEDIATELY come to your senses, releasing the rest of the strawberry and aone’s hand

if you could peace fade in this moment, you would’ve definitely flashed futakuchi a duces

but alas, you could not..

so you scrambled to your feet-- but not before thanking aone for letting you meet his turtle-- and RAN out TF of that room heart a BEEATTINN

from that day on, you visited aone and his turtle a lot more-- even going so far as buying things for ichigo!!

“hey aone-san, did ichigo like the squash i cooked?”

“mm.”

“hey aone-san, does ichigo like the new hide?”

“mm.”

“look aone-san! he can’t grip onto the cherry tomato!! it keeps rolling around!”

“mm.”

many of your conversations went along like that and he always appreciated the amount of effort you put into them

he wasn’t a man of many words but did his best to make sure you knew that he was listening and engaged

at one point mai and futakuchi said that “he has spoken more words to you in these past few months than he has with us in 3 years”

you were surprised but also flattered by the fact that aone was comfortable enough to open up and have conversation with you 

although it was a bit of a rough patch in the beginning, you were glad that you became a part of the 205 squad! it was you, aone, futakuchi, mai and ichigo against the world!!

[pinky-the-elephant-room]

A girl with a crush

AN: I wrote this prompt for @liliesoftherain​ to show my love since she recently got into Haikyuu and she has a thing for blond tsunderes. Phfft. It’s sort of a fast moving one shot (6k) but since I dont love lilie enough to write her an ongoing slow burn story this will have to do. Credits to lilie for making this banner she has become competent at making them. Just a heads up for those who don’t know I’m a BNHA blog that does regular prompts for that anime, this is the few exceptions I do every now and then. Also sorry if Tsukki might be occ? I haven’t watched all of Haikyuu! yet so *bows apologetically* Though my friend said he wasn’t so you guys let me know if he was. 

Warning: Explicit smut with a bit of degradation and sort of dub con?

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem reader

----------------------------

It started off so simple. Every person who’s ever had a crush would tell you that having your crush talk to you makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. What they don’t tell you is that adrenaline and happiness can become addictive. I had started my first year of high school in class 1-4 when I noticed him, he was exactly my type. Tall with blond hair and glasses to match, I’ve always been attracted to the smart guys. And he was one of the top students in that class. When sensei took roll, I learned his name, Tsukishima Kei. I didn’t have a crush on him right away. He was just a good-looking guy I noticed in my class and that’s it. I had more important things to worry about like class 1-4 and how hard it was due to it being a college preparatory class.

A few weeks in we were assigned a project for English, we had to present a project on how Japan could improve their English comprehension. Lo and behold my partner was Tsukishima.

“If you’re not going to do your part tell me now so I don’t waste my time,” he had said to me as soon as class ended.

I immediately bristled because I was a relatively hard-working person.

“Don’t worry I’ll do my part.” I replied. He seemed skeptical but nodded.

“Meet me at the public library near our school,” he told me before dismissing me.  

Afterschool he arrived a few mins after I did with a plain black-haired guy that was in our class. I recognized Yamaguchi from the fact that they were always together. Apparently, they even joined the volleyball club at the same time.

I just raised my eyebrow at Yamaguchi as he joined their table before getting homework out and started working on it. I ignored him, and I pulled out paper so we could get the basics jotted down.

You’d think I would be happy getting to work with a handsome guy, right? Nope! Immediately the condescending comments started right away. None of my notes and the research I had started on was good enough. None of my ideas reached his standards.

“Did you even fact check this?” Tsukishima asked as he slid my paper back to me.

I glared at him. “Of course, I did!”

He didn’t even look at me as he started to write on his own paper.

“Second sentence paragraph 3. You didn’t even cite plus the statistic is wrong.”

I was about to explode when I glanced at the paper. I grumbled realizing the arrogant boy was right.

Yamaguchi snickered under his breath. I swiveled my head towards him as he continued to diligently work on his homework like he wasn’t just laughing at me.

I gripped my pencil tightly. ‘Calm down. It’s just a few more hours. You need a good grade in English to start off the year strong.’

By the end of their study session I couldn’t believe I actually thought the boy was cute. He might be handsome, but his personality was utter crap. His snide comments had continued throughout the session and drove me nuts. I had never wanted to physically hurt someone as bad as him. God help whoever the guy dated.

I just tossed my papers and stationery in my bookbag in a hurry to get out of here.

Just as I was about to leave, I heard Yamaguchi and Tsukishima approaching and talking.

“Tsukki, let’s go grab a snack before going home,” Yamaguchi said to the blonde.

I couldn’t help but snort and snicker at the nickname.

Both boys turned to me in surprise. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at me and asked, “what’s so funny?”

I shrugged. “Nothing, I just think it’s weird that a boy like you has such a cute nickname.”

Tsukishima frowned severely at me. Before he could say anything more, I cheerfully skipped off, glad to have finally gotten under his skin.

 A week later, the presentation for English went well. We both earned a good grade. It was time for gym as all the girls changed into their gym uniforms in the classroom. We then went outside in the hot sun to start exercising.

I leisurely started running, doing it at my own pace rather than running all at once and depleting my stamina. I noticed someone running beside me and it was Tsukishima. It wasn’t fair how athletic he was, he wasn’t even sweating or huffing like I was.

“You know,” I began, “I never would have pegged you for a guy who plays volleyball.”

He looked surprised at me like he just noticed I was there.

I scowled.

“For a guy like you I would have suspected something like basketball.”

He glared at me. “Well, you aren’t exactly very perspective, are you? After all you were no help on our project. So, idiot’s opinions don’t count.”

My mouth dropped at his audacity. He smirked at me, liking my outraged reaction.

“Excuse me? I earned that grade just like you! If anyone’s opinion doesn’t matter it’s yours because you’re just an arrogant, hateful asshole!” I spat at him before increasing my speed and running off.

 From there we would continue to have petty disagreements within the classrooms and sometimes outside of it. All the while Yamaguchi would stand there like a spectator watching us go back and forth. Until one afternoon I stayed behind to talk to a teacher and asked them about my grades. The sky had darkened by the time I was ready to go home. Most of the school emptied and even worse heavy rain clouds moved in and it started raining heavily. I sighed as I checked my backpack for the third time looking for that umbrella, I swore I packed.  The classroom door suddenly slid open startling the hell out of me. Tsukishima walked in and stopped dead at the sight of me.

“What are you still doing here?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and huffed. I so didn’t need this right now.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I misplaced my umbrella so I’m waiting for the rain to slow down.”

Tsukishima grabbed his glasses’ case from his desk and started to leave.

“You’re right it’s not my business.” Just as he was about to close the door. “You might want to leave the classroom they’re going to lock the doors.”

I cursed under my breath and started heading for the front of the school. I can just wait there for the rain to stop. Changing out of school slippers into my outdoor shoes, I made my way to the front door.

I noticed Tsukishima still waiting outside.

“Do you not have an umbrella either?” I asked. Even if it was him it would be nice to have some company while I waited. It was getting really dark outside and it kind of scared me to be here alone.

He shook his head and pulled out a dark umbrella from his own bag. I swallowed back a gulp, knowing that I would be here all alone.

Tsukishima unfurled the umbrella and snapped it open. He turned back to me and offered me the umbrella.

I just stared in astonishment.

“Here! Don’t just stand there like an idiot!” He snapped at me.

I took it hesitantly.

“But what about you? Aren’t you going to get wet?”

“I have another one in the gym locker room.”

I looked at my phone and noticed it was getting really late.

“I’m sorry I really have to catch the bus now. I’m going to be late! I’ll return this to you tomorrow.” I said with a huge smile.

He nodded at me and pushed his glasses back up.

I started leaving, feeling my cheeks heat up and heart beat faster as I gripped Tsukishima’s umbrella tighter.

And that was how my crush had started. With that one small act of kindness.

 After that umbrella incident, I wanted to talk to him more and more. The intense meanspirited conversations had instead turned into lighthearted teasing. Well, more playful teasing on my part, he still called me an idiot. It was such a rush to have all of his attention on me. Even if it was for a few minutes, even if it meant that he was insulting me. It was official I had a crush on Tsukishima.

I sat during lunch with a faraway look on my face. All the girls in the class had bunched up their desks and we ate together.

“Y/N, what’s wrong with you today? Aren’t you hungry?” A girl named Momo asked.

I looked down at my bento and it was untouched, still full to the brim.

“You guys know Tsukishima in our class right..?” I began hesitantly.

A girl across from me who went by the name of Sana smiled. “You like him, don’t you?”

I blushed and nodded. “Am I that obvious?”

She shrugged. “Not really, but every girl who meets him has a crush until he opens his mouth. Then they get over it. I went to the same middle school as him and even shared classes together. A lot of girls liked him, but he’s how do you say this delicately?”

“An asshole?” Momo said wryly.

“No, he’s a classic anime example of a tsundere.”

I giggled, that was spot on.

“But the thing about tsunderes is that they’re great in anime. But not in real life. Dealing with them can be exhausting.” Sana warned.

My smile dropped and I quietly replied, “I know I’m not looking to confess or anything. I just like talking to him.”

Momo shot a look of warning to Sana who just stuck her tongue back at her.

“Well, if you need advice you know that we are here for you.”

I nodded, feeling a pit of sadness within myself. Thinking I might just be hungry, I picked up my chopsticks and dug into my lunch.

 And I kept my word months after that conversation. I never confessed to him. I did continue to talk to him more like tease, but it was the only way I knew how to get his attention. The exhilarating feeling, I got every time I was near him made me feel like an addict and I loved it. But then something weird started happening that ruined everything.

I knew that Tsukishima was part of the volleyball team, but I had never seen them in action. So, I had dragged a few of the other girls to see them practice. We came into the gym to see the practice already in full swing. The two girls who stood in the gym seemed like managers and looked at us curiously when we entered. I bowed to them in greeting before taking a seat on the bleachers.

Though, I had never seen a volleyball game and I didn’t even know the rules. It was easy to see the boys were really talented and the way they jumped up to serve the ball was really cool. A whistle sounded and all the boys relaxed. Tsukishima turned around and I saw his eyes widened when he saw me on the bleachers.

“Tsukishima! I came to see you play!” I hollered as I cupped my hands.

Several of his teammates turned around to see who was yelling and shot me weird looks.

“Tsukishima, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

Tsukishima coughed into his hands a few times. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know who she is. I have never met her in my life. Let’s restart practice,” he said in what he hoped was a calm voice, but his red ears gave him away.

Several of the girls hearing that started grumbling at his rudeness. Yamaguchi was at least nice enough to wave at them and they all waved back in return.

I grinned knowing that I had made a dent in his composure. I did my best to cheer for him each time he did anything even as mundane to stop and tie his shoes. I could tell by the tenseness of his shoulders how close he was to exploding.

Eventually the whistle sounded, and practice was over. Tsukishima rushed off to the locker room and returned in record time, changed and with his gym bag.

“What do you think you're doing here,” he hissed.

I smiled mischievously. “I’m here to see you play, silly. I want to support my classmate.”

“I don’t want or need your support.  Your annoying voice made me lose concentration and I have never played so bad in my life. Go study instead and maybe put that brain to use for once.”

He glared at me furiously and walked away in a way that almost looked like stomping. But it wasn’t because Tsukishima doesn’t stomp right?

I grinned manically at his reaction. Oh, how I wished I could do this every day, but that would be tempting fate too much.

“Y/N, I swear you’re a masochist even though he’s so mean you still like him. It’s like you egg him on purpose,” Momo interjected from behind me.

She stopped, seeing my creepy smile.

“You like him insulting you. Don’t you?”

I protested vehemently and shook my head.

“It turns on you doesn’t it?” she asked again with a devious grin.

I spluttered as my face turned red and I almost felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Sana patted my back a few times as I calmed down and glared at Momo who put up her hands and shrugged.

Eventually we all left the gym and went out for some ice cream before heading home.

But what Momo said that day wouldn’t leave my head because I was messing with him for his attention right? It’s not like I wanted to be called names. There’s just no way. If you think about it logically every time someone else called me rude names, I responded back just as rudely. It doesn’t excite me. I shook my head and laughed. Yup, there was just no way.

However, the possibility just wouldn’t leave me as the more I teased and the more he responded back rudely, the redder I would become. It even got to the point where Tsukishima himself could tell there was something going on with me.

“What’s going on with you? Not that I care but you’re acting weirder than you usually do,” he asked bluntly when I bumped into him in the hallway.

I laughed nervously. “I’m not sure what you mean. I’m acting like I usually do.”

He stared at me for a moment. “You mean like the moron you are?”

Immediately, my heart started racing and my face started turning red.

Tsukishima just watched me incredulously as my body reacted to his words which caused me to blush even harder.

“I have to go.” I yelped as I basically ran away.

It was after this incidence I realized Tsukishima knew I liked him. Or I suspected he did because after that every time I tried to tease him like I usually do, he just wouldn’t respond with anger like he usually would. In fact, he kept giving me weird looks. There was even one time where I passed both Yamaguchi and him on the way home. I greeted them both, but only Yamaguchi would respond, and Tsukishima pretended like I wasn’t even there. Hell, he probably even knew about my weird penchant for liking his insults. So, eventually with a heavy heart I left him alone. Afterall, if someone doesn’t like you then you can’t force them to like you back.

Still, when I think about this incidence years later it makes me mad. Because its not like I confessed to him or pursued him. In fact, most people would say I wasn’t even that obvious. Yet, he couldn’t be mature enough to handle a girl who liked him.

-Time Skip-

It was years later that I realized that what my friend Momo had said then was true. It took some experimenting and soul searching to discern that yes, I had particular tastes, but it didn’t make me weird or a disgusting person. In fact, it was healthy and natural, something that I took great pleasure in exploring after I graduated high school.

I waited in line at Starbucks for my latte, I was usually here early in the morning. My name was called up before I grabbed my drink and settled in a booth. Like I said I’m here most mornings, reviewing for my classes before they started. Nursing classes in college were no joke if you miss even one day you’re likely to get behind and fail.

Just as I was about to open my textbook and get started, someone dumped their bookbag in the seat in front of me.

I looked up. “Excuse me, this booth is-“

I choked on my own words when I realized I was looking at Tsukishima. Even years later he was still handsome as ever, he even looked taller. He was still wearing glasses and was dressed casually.

“This booth is what? It looks empty unless you’re waiting for someone?”

I shook my head. He slid in the booth in front of me.

“H-how you been? Long time no s-see,” I said.

God, this was awkward how the hell do you talk to someone who purposely ignored you in high school after they found about your crush?

He shrugged. “Can’t complain. College and volleyball keeps me busy.”

I looked at him in surprise. “You still play?”

He took a sip of his coffee and nodded in affirmation. “I’ve seen you in this coffee shop a few times. So, I guess you go to that college nearby.”

The two of us got into a discussion of how I was going into a master’s nursing program after graduation and how he was going to work in a museum afterwards. It was hard to believe this was the same guy who would regularly argue with me in high school. The same guy who would respond to my jokes with insults. He seemed so relaxed and he had even smirked at some of the nonsense I had rambled on about. It seemed like the baggage that weighed on him back then was something that he resolved. He looked like he was in a better place than the boy I knew in high school.

Soon, I had to leave for my class and I almost gave him my number. I shook my head; this wasn’t the time to relive childhood crushes. I had moved on and I was better for it. So, with that in mind I made my way to my morning class. However, imagine my surprise when he continued to show up in that coffee shop every morning and chat with me. He had his bookbag with him, but he never attempted to do work like I would. And neither would I get any work done with him there. But I never had the heart to tell him to go away or even find somewhere else to study. I was there every morning diligently.

Weeks turned into months and we continued to still meet. Not everything about him changed though. He still sometimes responded with annoyance, however this time the insults were tinged with a bit of affection that I couldn’t help but notice. It made my heart pound and made me feel like a schoolgirl once more. I tried not to get my hopes up high, you’d think I would have learned from last time. But there was just something about him that made me helpless. Plus, the fact after a couple of months he had taken me out to restaurants and the movies a couple times, gave me hope that maybe this time it was different. It all became clear when he invited me out for karaoke with his other friends.

I had dressed up in a pretty, floral summer dress with natural makeup and some flats. I tried to look good but casual, I didn’t want him to get any ideas. I walked up to the karaoke bar that we were supposed to meet up at and was surprised to see him standing there with Yamaguchi.

I hadn’t seen Yamaguchi in a while, and he looked great as well. He seemed shocked to see me and, in my excitement, I gave him a tight hug. He blushed and returned it a bit awkwardly.

I turned to Tsukishima and greeted him. He seemed annoyed for some reason. Tsukishima quickly started introducing the whole group. There were a few other girls and guys I didn’t recognize and apparently, they were all from his college. I greeted them and bowed my head a little.

They all started to go in the bar, and I was too when Tsukishima grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

“I forgot to tell you. You look nice,” he murmured as he looked at me from top to bottom.

I felt my cheeks heat up and mumbled “thanks.” I felt him squeeze my hand before letting go.

“You coming?” He kept the door opened for me and let me in. We walked together to the reserved karaoke room side by side; my shoulders kept brushing up against his. I felt the heat from his body and his hands secure me around my waist before we arrived at the room. The small karaoke room seemed cramped from all the people, but he pulled me next to him in a seat in the corner.

Before long everyone was singing, eating snacks, and drinking beer. I was about to ask him to sing with me for the next round when a red-haired girl came to sit on the other side of Tsukishima. She hogged his attention for the next hour. She kept touching his hands and leaning over to talk to him. Tsukishima for his part seemed ok with the attention and indulged her, leaving me in the corner just sipping beer. I felt like crying just when everything seemed ok and he appeared to be interested, reality came and slapped me in the face. I wanted to leave right away, but I couldn’t without being rude. So, I sat there in the corner watching everyone sing and have a good time, while the girl and him sat so close together she was basically on his lap.

When she let out a loud laugh and planted a kiss on his cheek, I finally lost it. My eyes clouded with tears and I stood up abruptly. Tsukishima seemed startled and pushed her off him.

“Thanks for inviting me, but I have to go. I don’t feel so good. Excuse me,” I said while gathering my phone and purse.

I left quickly and wiped the tears from my eyes on the way out. I sniffled a few times on the street as I figured out if I wanted to grab a taxi or walk to the nearest train station.

“Y/N!” I heard someone called out my name.

I looked back to see Tsukishima making his way to me. Not wanting him to convince me to come back and watch as he flirted with another woman, I hiked up my dress and speed walked away from the bar. Unfortunately for me his longer legs meant he caught up to me in no time and grabbed my hand.

“Why are you leaving?” he asked.

I shifted my eyes nervously, not looking him in the eye.

“I felt nauseous and kind of dizzy, so I thought I should go home to rest,” I lied as I felt my hands get sweaty.

“Ok, let’s go.” Tsukishima grabbed my hands and started pulling me towards the street.

“What’re you doing?” I tried to pull my hands back from his tight grip.

“Making sure you get home safely. I can’t let you go like this by yourself.”

He hailed a taxi and made sure I was settled in the backseat before he let himself in from the other door. Apparently, he was serious about this enough to accompany me home.

“Tell the driver your address,” he said as he nudged me from my shock. I mumbled the address of my apartment and rested my head against the car’s cool glass window. I really didn’t want to be near Tsukishima right now, a man that’s rejected me twice. So, I ignored him and pretended to rest the entire way there.

Tsukishima paid the driver as I frankly refused to pay as it was his idea to get a taxi and I let myself out. I heard another door slam and watched as the taxi drove away without Tsukishima in it.

“What do you think you’re doing? I’m home now so you can go back to karaoke.”

He smirked. “Well, see you rushed off in such a hurry that I didn’t even get to eat properly. So, I think you should invite me in and repay me with coffee.”

I gritted my teeth. “I have no coffee in my apartment right now so please go away.”

“You drink coffee multiple times per day. I’m pretty sure a coffee maniac like you has some in your apartment,” he said as he walked off towards my apartment.

“Now where are you going! You don’t even know which apartment it is!” I huffed as I rushed to catch up with him.

“You told the driver 206, right?”

I cursed my idiotic self; I should have just taken the train.  I caught up to him a few minutes later and found him waiting at my door. He looked at me like I was the stupid one for walking so slow.

I glared at him and opened the door. Tsukishima invited himself in and was at least polite enough to remove his shoes before making himself at home.

I sighed knowing that he wasn’t going to go away anytime soon so I might as well just give him his coffee and send him on his way.

Just as I was about to go into the kitchen, he grabbed me again and held me against his chest. His hand let go of mine and traveled down to my waist. He held it tightly enough so even when I was trying to push him away, he wouldn’t budge.

“You want to tell me why you left in such a hurry? The truth this time.”

I huffed angrily.

“Can you let go? I need to make coffee so you can leave my apartment!”

Tsukishima tilted my face up so he can look me in the eyes. “The truth, Y/N.”

I grinded my teeth together and pushed against him. “I told you the truth already. Can you give me some space?”

I smacked his hand from my face away. “In fact, you can stop touching me so familiarly we are not together!” I yelled and gained more confidence. “You can go back to karaoke and talk to that lovely girl. It’s obvious that’s what you wanna do. I’m not sure what you’re doing here.”

That last part was said with more bitterness than I intended. I looked up at him to see him watching me carefully like he was trying to figure something out. Tsukishima smiled slowly and it made me wary. He’s never smiled at me like that before. In fact, he’s only ever smirked or scowled in my presence before.

“I never thought I would see the day that moron’s advice on women actually work out.”

I scowled at him. Now what was he talking about? I was this close to biting his hand so he would let go.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of you for one day. You need to leave right now.” I pointed at the door.

Of course, being Tsukishima, he completely ignored me and touched my cheek. I was dumbstruck and could only watch as his face got nearer, and our lips connected.

My eyes fluttered close as I desperately responded and rested my hands on his shoulder. I had to be on my toes to reach his height still it wasn’t enough as he had to bend the rest of the way to connect.

Panting harshly, I could barely get out “bedroom” before he kissed me again.

Tsukishima picked me up bridal style like I weighed nothing as I pointed out where my bedroom actually was.

I found a particularly sensitive spot right below his ear when I started kissing his neck as he held me. The hitch of his breath made me grin. I bit down gently and sucked harshly before letting go, leaving behind a large bruise. I smirked triumphantly, hoping that the red-haired girl who flirted with him earlier saw it sooner or later.

Tsukishima put me down and touched the dampened area where I had left my mark. He raised his eyebrow as if to say ‘really?’

“Take your clothes off, Y/N” he said as he leisurely took a seat on my bed.

I blushed and shakily started to pull my dress over my head. I threw the dress over to the side and awkwardly wrapped my hands around my midsection. I watched his eyes turn dark as he greedily looked at my exposed curves.

He held out his hand to me and I took it and was pulled into his lap. He kissed me and I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss. I felt his hand messing with the back of my bra and I felt it loosen and tugged off my arms. His warm hands squeezed my breasts and I groaned into the kiss.

He abruptly ended the kiss and started kissing the tops of my breasts with reverence.  

“I didn’t know that girl. She’s Yamaguchi’s friend. I used her to make you jealous.” Tsukishima lightly pinched one breast before taking the other in his mouth.

I tugged his hair, pushing him into my cleavage further. If I wasn’t so numb with pleasure, I would have smacked him a few times.

“A-ahhh ah, you made me cry, asshole,” I whimpered out. He let the right one go before moving onto the left one. He swirled and sucked it thoroughly like a newborn.

“I’m not sorry. It got me into your bed didn’t it? I’ve tried for months and I got nowhere. Had to give you a push,” he mumbled into my chest as he left a trail of hickies in his wake before kissing me again.

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, I pulled as hard as I could to punish him. He only groaned in return and grinded into my center. That quickly backfired as I was left wanting and desperate for friction. I rutted back against him, trying to feel his harden member in his jeans against my damp center.

Tsukishima settled me on top of the bed as he quickly removed his own clothes and removed his glasses. He trapped my hands above my head and settled in nicely between my thighs.

“You think I don’t know how much you want me? I bet you stayed up late at night, fantasying about how much you wanted me to use you like the dirty whore you are,” he whispered huskily in my ear.

My eyes widened and my face became covered in red splotches.

“H-how did you know that I like-“

Tsukishima scoffed. “It was obvious with how you tried to rile me up each time. You still haven’t changed from high school, have you?”

He took his member and lined up against my center.

“I don’t usually like to cuss; I can easily tear someone apart without being uncouth. But if you’re a good girl while I get mine. I’ll reconsider it.” He pecked my lips before withdrawing.

Tsukishima grabbed my hips and held me, while he drove his cock inside, not waiting for me to get accustomed to his size.

I tried to twist my hands out of his hold, instead he tightened it and drove his thrusts even harder as punishment.

He was tearing me apart, clearly, he was chasing his own pleasure as he disregarded everything even my own feelings as he wouldn’t even kiss me.

Feeling my juices gush out he couldn’t help but remark. “Heh, look at you. You’re loving this right now.”

My body shuddered as the harsh treatment excited me further and further, but I just needed something else to cross that threshold.

Tsukishima’s thrusts started losing their rhythm and became sloppier and sloppier.

He let go of my hands and pulled me closer. “Y/N, say my name,” he panted out desperately.

“T-tsukishima..” I choked out.

“No, call me Kei. I’m so close.”

He rested his head on top of my shoulder as he got closer and closer. I threaded my fingers through his sweaty, blond hair.

“Let go, Kei. I got you,” I whispered as he groaned from the pleasure. His warm cum painted my insides and his member twitched several times inside before Tsukishima finally collapsed on top of me.

He laid there on top for several minutes, but I couldn’t help but think was that it? Because I was still drenched and needy.

When he finally got off and noticed my stricken face, Tsukishima got incredibly smug.

“Should I give you what you need? Were you a good girl?”

I took his hand and put it where I needed it. “God damn it! Either get to work or I’ll finish on my own.”

Immediately his face grew fierce and scowled. I gulped. He kissed me harshly and dominated the kiss. I could only helplessly hang on as he once again took what he wanted and punished me.

“If only I could have done that when we were younger to shut you up. It would have made my life easier,” he growled.

My eyes widened when he spread my legs out and settled in between. I jumped up when I felt his warm breath on my wet entrance.

It felt like hours, but he spent a long time licking and teasing me as my walls clenched around his fingers. Each time I was close to finally reaching my climax, he would pull away and stop completely. I was beyond frustrated with him. With the shitty day I had because of him I deserved better, but apparently he didn’t agree with that sentiment. I eventually started begging him, sobbing to let me cum only for him to pull his hand away from my clit.

He sat up and I looked at him through my tear-filled eyes.

“You look pretty like this. Crying and helpless underneath me. It suits you,” he said as he wiped my tears away.  

He palmed his once again hard member and I watched with abated breath. Finally.

Tsukishima grabbed my leg and threw it over his shoulder before driving his cock into me. I keened with pleasure as he set a harsh pace that was better than the first. With the angle he was able to hit all the spots I desperately needed him to. He whispered filthy sentiments as he owned and possessed me physically from below.

It was all too much; I was too wound up and soon enough I was cumming all over his penetrating member.

Tsukishima didn’t slow down and kept his fast thrusts as he helped me ride out the orgasm.

“Think you got another one in you?” he rasped out. I let out a low moan when I registered what he was asking of me. I wasn’t sure I never came twice with anyone else.

His hand traveled down to my clit and started timing his thrusts to his finger’s movement on my clit. Once again, my body started thrumming with anticipation as pleasure started building up.

He started chanting under his breath “come on baby let go.”

A pinch to my clit and a thrust that rocked my cervix and I came all over again.

He groaned when he felt my constricting walls asking for his white cum to swallow. He started doing short, shallow fast thrusts that made his balls tighten and overload with sensations before he exploded. He started moaning my name over and over again, his eyes clenched shut as colors exploded behind his lids.

I felt Tsukishima collapse besides me and I immediately sought his embrace. I cuddled into his stomach, feeling myself exhausted beyond belief.

A few hours later, both of us woke up from our short-lived nap and cuddled each other. The warmth of his body reassuring and comforting me that hopefully we hadn’t moved too fast and this wasn’t a mistake.

“Whatever you’re thinking about. Drop it.”  I sat up and looked down at his face.

Even with his hair disheveled, he was still so breathtakingly handsome.

“I’m just thinking if we went too fast. We haven’t even been on one date yet.”

He sighed and opened his eyes. His pretty eyes connected with mine.

"We've been dancing around each other for months. Besides this was a long time coming since high school.”

High school. My breath hitched, so I was right he did know that I liked him then.

“But you ignored me. I know after you found out I liked you, you started pushing me away. That’s why we stopped talking after the first year,” I said with confusion.

He rubbed his eyes with his hands and pulled me into his chest. I felt his hands pat my hair and burrow me further into his firm chest.

“I know. I was an insecure idiot. I was weirded out by you.”

I opened my mouth to refute.

“Shhhh, let me finish. I was weirded out by the fact that anyone would like me. I had really low self esteem and because I couldn’t figure out why anyone would like me, I decided that you were just a really big weirdo. Of course, after we stopped talking, I immediately regretted it and I didn’t know how to approach you again. So, I thought it would be easier to let it go. And I did until I saw you again in the coffee shop. There was just this big what if I always felt whenever I thought about you. So, I took a chance and I guess I was right to.”

I kissed the part where his heart thumped strongly.

“You were wrong I wasn’t a weirdo. I was just a girl with a crush.”  

[jincherie]

florescence | v

❀ — pairing: taehyung x reader x seokjin ❀ — genre: hybrid au, hybrid tae, hybrid jin, poly au, fluff, smut (future), angst ❀ — words: 6.8k+ ❀ — rating: sfw ❀ — warnings: a pinch of angst, some hurt n comfort, and a teensy bit of risque content towards the end.... yay for scenting!! ❀ — notes: There was a fair bit that I changed in this one so part way through i ran into a bit of a block-- gradually, I pushed through!!! here is the next part uwu, I dont have anything written after this so the next update may take a while. (also, for anyone still having trouble with this, I did add a read more)

Okay, so maybe you’re lonely, and maybe there is something missing in your life, a void that you maybe want to fill with a companion that may or may not be of human origin… You’re perfectly content not doing anything about it though, until your best friend calls you in desperate need for your help and you suddenly end up coming home with not one, but two hybrids that may or may not have been on the way to the chopping block had you not taken them in. They’re more than a little rough around the edges, and the situation is less than ideal but… maybe the best things don’t always come in perfect, shiny packages. Maybe they just need a little time to bloom.

— posted; 11.03.2020 // masterlist || prev. | next.

When you wake up, you feel so well-rested that you almost completely forget what troubled your heart the night prior. Almost. As soon as you sit up and your gaze flits over the window, weather uncharacteristically gloomy, you recall what has been troubling you the past week and a bit and all of a sudden you can physically feel your mood drop. Right.

Well— you attempt to stop the spiral before it can really begin— today is your chance to make things right. You have the whole day off! That, for one thing, is sure to cheer the boys up a little bit. If they’re still not in the best of spirits, like you feel they might be, then you have the whole day to come up with a plan.

Yawning and scratching your head, allowing yourself a moment of indulgence before you get up to dive into the day headfirst, you attempt to bolster your confidence at least a little. With a little perseverance, you can do this!

You can do it! x   x   x

You can’t do it.

You thought that you’d be able to keep a cheery mood going, that you’d be able to cling to some optimism, but as it turns out you were somewhat wrong and this situation as it is now at around midday has your glass looking half-empty.

You’d gone about your normal routine after getting up; showering and then cooking and cleaning a little. To your surprise, the boys hadn’t come out to beg and plead with you at all. Even as their behaviour in the evenings changed during the past week and a bit, their behaviour in the mornings never did. So, understandably, this new development filled you with an icky feeling that stuck to the sides of your stomach like tar. You need to figure out what you’re doing that’s actually upsetting them, but attempting to pull the answer out of them is like pulling teeth. And with nothing but the barest hints to go off, you don’t really know where to even begin your online search, either.

So, halfway through the day and already almost at your wits end, you suppose the only way to go now is trial and error.

Off the top of your head, there are only a few things you can think of that might be bothering them.  

First, there are the insecurities they have that you’re already aware about. You don’t think this is actually the only thing bothering them, but you have a gut feeling that it has something to do with it. Each day they spent in the labs after their creation, under the technical label of ‘failure’, clearly took its toll on them. They only had each other there, and you know that the men you met while picking them up would have done their best to take care of them but as employees in that institution there is a line that they couldn’t ever cross to really give them the comfort they needed. So you know that Seokjin and Taehyung both were deemed ‘failures’ within their batches, exceptions, and you know that this knowledge has brought forth entire complexes around inferiority and worth within them.

Knowing this, it has you wondering if those complexes are leading the two of them to feel as though they’re being slowly pushed aside, or as though they have become a second thought to you. They most definitely haven’t, but with their background you wouldn’t be too surprised if that is a conclusion they have come to. You really want them to know and understand that they are a part of your home now, but you also know it’s going to be hard to get them to that point.

Regardless, it’s difficult to know what is actually wrong with them without being able to talk to them, and as the morning goes on they prove persistent in their efforts to ignore and avoid you. It irks you and upsets you at the same time, but still you do your best to be understanding. They’re not going to come out and have breakfast for as long as you’re in the kitchen, so you make the slightly wounding decision to return to your room for a while so they have a chance to at least eat. Taking care of them from the shadows it is—you leave some eggs and toast on plates for them before you retreat further into the house in the direction of your room.

You really wish that for situations like this there was someone you could just ask who would have all the answers you want and more—not many of your friends know that you even have hybrids, though, and Seulgi is probably at work still. Plus, she’d probably just tell you to look it up yourse— oh!!

You have the internet!

Honestly you’re not surprised it’s taken you this long to realise you could just look it up instead of lamenting and stewing in your own confusion and worry. Flopped across you bed, you pull your phone up and get to work. ‘hybrids upset with me’ is the first thing you intuitively type, and it brings forth an array of results. As one might expect, about 30% of them are actually relevant to what you want. You open a promising-looking one and begin to read.

“When instilling absolute obedience in wayward hybrids, it is expected that at first there will be a little backlash and they may react in an upset manner. A firm hand and unrelenting—”

Well, you click out of that one faster than you can blink. A closer look at the site name, perfectingyourpet.com, makes you realise you really should have inspected it a little bit more finely before opening it earlier.

Back on the search results page, you skim over the rest of them with a more scrutinising eye. It takes you a while before you actually open one that isn’t a run-around or an instant dead end.

‘Just like their animal counterparts, hybrids can become stressed and unhappy from a number of things that we often don’t think of from a human standpoint. Certain foods, environments, smells—the littlest thing can sometimes impact your hybrid companion’s happiness.’

Now that you’re reading this and really thinking about it, that makes a lot of sense. You aren’t sure how you haven’t been coming to these conclusions much earlier, and feel a little stupid and ashamed.

Chastised, you read a little further, soaking up as much information as you can, leaving the things you think aren’t very applicable for your situation. Towards the end, you admittedly skim it a bit, but to be fair that is just because you’re antsy to get started on fixing whatever has fallen through between you and the boys.

Some of the causes of stress this site tells you about are things you don’t think you have to worry about – yelling, fighting, having lots of guests come through and an always busy house. You definitely don’t have to worry about those. But then, when you read through the others, nothing is really clicking into place like this, this is it. You aren’t sure as to the cause still but at least you have something to go off now, even if it will be a process of elimination and learning by error.

One of the first things the site says, in addition to those you didn’t really think were relevant, is that it could be something in the diet, the environment, or a smell—or any change really. Branching off of that thought has you realising that it’s possible your big faux pas here is that you introduced such a big change – you going to work for a few hours a day – so suddenly and abruptly. From what you’re reading, it’s more than likely unsettled them and made them feel a bit insecure in their positions once more.

So, as your first attempt to make things right, you’re going to do your best to include them all over again. With a sigh you rise from your bed and attempt to steel yourself before making your way back into the kitchen, your fingers crossed that they have at least come out to eat something.

You’re quiet in your movements, and you think that is largely what allows you to catch the two elusive hybrids in the kitchen as they chow through the breakfast you left for them. It makes you happy to see they’re still eating what you make, but still sad to know they refuse to do it in your presence.

“Good morning,” you greet softly, leaning against the doorframe.

You hadn’t meant to startle them, but that’s what you end up doing. Seokjin, who had been looking through the fridge (most likely in search of some juice), jumps in fright, one yelp escaping before he bumps his head on a shelf and another, louder one follows it. Taehyung doesn’t make any noise, but you see him jump in his spot by the bench, whipping around to face you with wide eyes and a mouth full of eggs.

It’s an odd mix of emotions that cross their faces, prefaced by a wash of guilt and then a myriad of others you don’t manage to catch in time. They’re still upset, but clearly seeing you has weakened their defences slightly. You quickly take advantage of it.

“I’m glad you’re up and about,” you say, shooting them both a smile and doing your best to make sure none of the hurt seeps through. “I was thinking we could all do something together today!”

Surprise is what greets you as they stare at you, then at each other. Seokjin voices their thoughts, “You don’t have work today?”

From just behind him, you can catch his tail beginning to sway in cautious anticipation. His ears are slightly lowered, as are Taehyung’s, but they perk up when you answer them with a shake of your head.

“I don’t,” you affirm, feeling slightly bolstered by their response. “So I was thinking we could do something… maybe go out to the park? Or a café? Or—”

Their ears flatten and its obvious they’re not too into that idea, surprisingly. You really thought that would be something they’d love! You quickly backtrack. “Or, we could just cuddle on the couch and watch Netflix…? Seokjin, that zombie show you like had another season added.”

At that, they seem much more enthusiastic. Seokjin’s tail begins to wag a little more heartily, if still somewhat tentative.

“Already?” he asks, eyes wide. “Oh that’s good, they left it on a cliffhanger last season.”

The few moments after he finishes speaking are almost awkward, but you step in before they can get to that point.

“Perfect, did you want to watch that now?” You pose the question, before recalling that you’d caught them in the middle of stuffing their faces. “I mean, after you’re done eating of course.”

“Yes!” Seokjin nearly yaps in his excitement, the mood of the two hybrids seeming to have taken a complete 180 now that they know they have your time all to themselves today. You wonder if the ‘cuddling’ aspect had much to do with it, since you’d noticed their eyes light up when you’d mentioned it earlier.

You turn your gaze to the side, and when you see Taehyung looking just as excited, you offer them a bright smile. “Great, well you guys finish up and I’ll wait in the living room. I’ll get it all set up.”

Both of their tails are wagging as you turn and make your way to the room in question, and you feel significantly lighter than you have all week. You just need to bond with them a little more, assure them of their place with you and that you care for them. You were too dramatic earlier, you can do this!

Going around the living room, you end up setting up the couch like a makeshift nest, their comfort the main thing on your mind. Netflix is on and loaded, and you tidy things just a bit in the extra time you have before you hear the two hybrids approaching the room.

They’re excited, you can tell from the second you catch sight of them. Taehyung especially looks like he’s trying not to smile too big, but his tail is whirring a mile a minute behind him.

Seokjin picks up the remote, before turning to you. “You sit down first.”

Apparently it slipped out before he’d realised, because in the next second his face flushes and he hurries to correct himself at how demanding he feared he sounded. “I mean, uh… please. So we can, um….”

He doesn’t have to finish for you to know what he wants. More often than not, the two of them wait until you seat yourself so that they then can flop down and curl around you. Smiling at Seokjin to let him know it’s okay, you sit in the middle of the couch and wait. Well, you don’t even have to wait—as soon as your ass touches the seat the two hybrids dive for a spot on either side of you, nestling against you, the blankets, and the couch.

Their actions stir up butterflies in your stomach and you have to marvel at yourself—wow, you’ve really gotten quite touch starved because of this whole ordeal, haven’t you? That’s kind of embarrassing…

Seokjin swings his legs over your lap and Taehyung presses his body to your side, head on your shoulder. You can feel his large hands fisting the material of your shirt needily, oblivious to the way he brushes the underside of your breast with the action. You ignore the skipped heartbeat that results and pretend it didn’t even happen. That’s a dangerous rabbit hole to go down if you follow that thought.

“What are we watching?” you ask, reaching a hand up to play with the curls at the back of Taehyung’s neck. His grip on your shirt tightens and he presses closer before the tension leaves his body completely, and he lets out the faintest noise in satisfaction. You’d do the same to Seokjin but his higher level functioning ceases when you play with his hair and you kind of want a response.

“This?” he proposes, eyes on the screen. You follow his gaze and watch the preview that’s played for you. “I added it to the list but haven’t, um… haven’t gotten to watch it yet.”

“If it’s what you wanna watch, put it on,” you reassure him, holding your hand out for the remote. He sees your hand and his cheeks warm—you wonder why before the answer follows, and he places his hand in yours, threading your fingers together.

You don’t even have the heart to tell him that you were asking for the remote, especially now that you feel your own face burning. God, what are these two doing to your heart today?!

What Seokjin chose seems to be some new anime with alternate styling to what you’re used to seeing, the mode of animation different but quite cool. Unfortunately, you only get to watch about a minute of it before something disrupts the peace and content beginning to settle over the room.

Knocking. On your door. It’s light but sharp and very persistent. Seokjin pauses the show, confused but alert.

“Who on Earth…?” you murmur to yourself, regrettably rising from the couch and parting from the warmth of the hybrids. There is an odd weight on your side as you stand, and you don’t realise that Taehyung has risen with you, clinging to your side, until you take a step and he bumps into you by accident.

Endeared by the way he dons a sheepish smile, you accept his company and make your way to the front door, wondering who on earth would even be making the effort to visit you on your day off. Rustling sounds from the couch, but you figure it’s just Seokjin getting comfortable and preparing to wait.

“Just a second!” you call out when the knocking stops, worrying the culprit is leaving. Did you order anything recently? Are you expecting anyone and just forgot? You really don’t think so. Taehyung trails after you, connected only by his loose grip on the bottom of your shirt.

You could have peaked out of the peep hole, but you don’t, going straight to opening the door instead. The figure waiting on the other side makes you halt in surprise. Taehyung shoots ramrod straight behind you.

“What are you doing here, rude cat?” you ask in surprise after a moment, teasing nickname tacked on by default. Changkyun gives you a borderline dirty look, but doesn’t speak for a moment- his attention is captured as he catches sight of the hybrid plastered to your back. His mouth forms an ‘o’, realisation dawning across his features.

“Ah, the unhappy audience….” He murmurs to himself, a glint entering his eyes that you absolutely do not like one bit. Before you can warn him off whatever idea has just entered his head, he turns his gaze to you and offers a bright, if somewhat cheeky, smile.

“Hey, y/n,” he purrs, taking a step closer. You’re suspicious immediately. “You left something at our house last time, and since we were driving past your place anyway the madame asked me to come bring it up to you.”

As he finishes speaking, he pulls something out from behind his back, holding it out to you. You can feel the tension of the hybrid beside you as you reach out and take it, eyes wide.

“Oh, my cardigan,” you mutter, holding up the dark pink article and pursing your lips in surprise. “I did wonder where it got to. Thanks, Changkyun!”

“No problem!” he answers, perhaps a little too easily, He rolls the ring on his bottom lip as he stands in contemplation for a moment. It’s as though he considers doing something, entertaining the thought for a moment before deciding against it. Instead, he offers you a sly smile, beginning to step backwards. “See you next week, y/n.”

You return the farewell, waiting until he is a good metre or so away before closing and locking the door. The second you do, you feel Taehyung pull away from your back. Surprised, you turn in question—the second your gaze falls on him though, you freeze.  

You’re not sure if you can describe the current look in his face in just a single word—there are many emotions that seem to flick across his features, but the one that seems to linger the most is hurt.

At the realisation you’re baffled, understandably, and while your brain attempts to put pieces together and figure out why Taehyung is looking at you like that, he pulls away. His brows are furrowed, bottom lip a split-second away from trembling fully.

“Tae?” you ask, tentative. At the sound of your voice though the hybrid shakes his head, expression even more upset than before. It makes your stomach drag down with guilt and a certain sense of anxiety. Taehyung steps back, looking at you for just a moment longer before he turns and flees.

A call of his name is stuck in your throat and you can only watch him go, hearing him pass through the hall and then hurry up the stairs. Absolutely boggled, you almost miss the movement from the doorway to the living room.

You turn your gaze just in time to catch a glimpse of Seokjin as he slips away, following the same path Taehyung laid through the house just seconds earlier. After the sound of him climbing the stairs passes, you’re confronted with the painfully familiar sound of their door slamming closed upstairs.

You don’t have to have seen his face to know that without a doubt, whatever you’d done to hurt Taehyung’s feelings so suddenly, the same applied to the older hybrid.

God—you don’t even know what you did!

This is getting utterly ridiculous and at this point you’re sitting and stewing in your own ashamed juices. You’d just been so close to mending things with them! How had things turned around so quickly?

It’s like a bag of rocks has been dropped in your chest, pushing your heart down to your stomach. You feel very crummy, suddenly. You don’t doubt they feel similar. They’re not going to sit and watch something with you now, and there’s no point in waiting for them to come down because you’ve been with them long enough to know that they won’t.

What are you supposed to do?

Fighting a sudden batch of irrational tears that have risen to sting your eyes and threaten to fall, you scrunch the cardigan in your grip and make a beeline for your room. You don’t bother going to turn off the TV because right now you’re too upset and it’s just going to remind you of how you’ve managed to ruin things, again.

As soon as the door closes behind you and you’re in the sanctity of your room, you let a sniffle escape. The silence that echoes off the walls is all that answers and you throw yourself onto your bed, phone in your hand.

Even though you’re sad right now and want nothing else than to just cry into your pillow a bit and get these horrible, heavy feelings off your chest, `you know you can’t let this go on any longer than it already has. Somewhat sulkily, you unlock your phone and open the browser, returning to your search from earlier. At this point you can only conclude that the problem is you, and that you won’t be able to find anything to help your plight online.

Of course, that’s the last thing you want to be true. And so you return to your previous search, going through all the tabs you opened up previously and rereading to see if there was anything you’d missed or misinterpreted. You’re not all that optimistic, though, and as you read you try not to think about the sneaking feeling you have that you’re not going to find anything to help you fix this new mess you’ve made.

X     x     x   x     x

An hour later you’re climbing hastily from you bed, standing corrected. You’d just found the answer and the solution you’d been looking for—the fact that it was in one of the first pages you opened earlier and you didn’t get it until just now is an incredible source of shame for you. At this point in time you’re very frustrated with yourself, but thankfully there are more pressing matters to attend to.

You know what’s been bothering your hybrids and upsetting them so much.

Of course, in retrospect it’s something so painfully obvious that you want to kick the ground and ram your head straight into the wall at the same time. You read earlier about how change and stress can affect hybrids more than humans, but it hadn’t really sunk in the types of changes and stressors they are especially sensitive to. Reading through one of the first pages again had something you missed the first time through smacking you in the face the second time round.

Your hybrids are unsettled because you’re their ‘owner’, and you’ve been going out and hanging around other people and hybrids, covering yourself in a myriad of strange, different scents, when they haven’t scented you yet.

Your face warms as you recall everything you’d read after clicking the hyperlink on that word in the original article. Scenting can entail a lot of things depending on the hybrid, but mostly its innocent, and something they need to feel settled and secure, something instinctive. Which explains a lot of things, honestly.

Again, you feel so stupid.

Now that you’ve… enlightened yourself, you have the decency to feel a little ashamed and guilty for not taking better steps to understand your hybrids and accommodate them. It’s on you that you didn’t know any better because you hadn’t done the necessary research, but at the same time you wish they’d come to you and told you what was wrong. Although, you know that considering their background, it’s probably hard for them. They’re never sure of their boundaries, where they can go and how far they can push—they’re too cautious and worrisome sometimes, you think. You have a feeling that that’s kind of what was happening behind the scenes here too.

Trying very desperately not to give in to the flustered blush that’s trying to heat your cheeks at what you’re about to do, you attempt to calm yourself by going through the motions as you normally would at this time of day. It’s late enough that you can justify changing into your pyjamas, and so you do—and although these are the clothes you usually wear to bed, the fluffy pants and thin-strapped singlet leave you feeling a little more exposed than usual. You know that you’re going to be more than a little embarrassed while doing this, but honestly you’re just going to have to push through it—it’s the least you can do considering your part in this.

Once changed, you kind of want to climb back in bed and procrastinate the inevitable a little longer, but you force yourself out of the room. It’s somewhat sheepishly that you emerge, attempting to be quiet with your door even though you know there’s no way they’ve left their room. The trip down the hall to their door is quicker than you remember and it isn’t long before you’re taking a breath to prepare yourself and knocking softly on their door. The response is instant.

“Go away!”

You fight a smile at the sound of Seokjin’s voice—his words say one thing but the waver and hints of a plea in his tone say another. It’s cute, the effort he’s putting into trying to show you he’s upset when you have a feeling he wants nothing more than to spend time with you as he usually does. You take a moment to steel yourself before letting out a huff.

“I’m coming in,” you announce, trying to keep your tone gentle, and then you open the door before he has time to protest. When you swing the door open and step in, it’s to the sight of him sitting on the queen bed with his knees tucked to his chest, his face red— although you can’t tell if it’s from anger or embarrassment.

“What do you want,” he grumbles, reminding you very much of a child with the way he averts his eyes and pouts. His tail twitches anxiously behind him, his ears pressed against his skull. Your eyes sweep the room, confusion flickering amongst your thoughts when you don’t catch sight of his younger brother.

“Where’s Taehyung?” you ask, head tilting. Seokjin answers you a moment later, albeit reluctantly.

“He’s in the shower…” he says, and now that he mentions it you can hear the soft sound of music filtering through the wall. The dhole hybrid likes having something soft and jazzy playing whenever he showers or bathes, you suspect it’s because it helps relax him a little.

You hum in acknowledgement, standing in the doorway for a moment, leaning against the doorframe as you simply look at him. He seems to flush under your prolonged gaze, desperately trying to avoid meeting your eyes. It takes you a moment to decide how to start, and you try not to keep him on his toes too long. It still startles him when you finally speak a few moments later.

You decide to just bite the bullet and jump right into it. “Seokjin, do the two of you feel comfortable here?”

The male balks at your question, eyes wide as he finally looks at you. His knees drop into a cross-legged position against the bed as he straightens, sputtering. “What? Of course we do, you’ve given us everything.”

You wonder if he realises he’s fallen out of his upset character but push the thought aside in favour of continuing your interrogation, setting the grounds so you can lead up to a certain point. Distantly, you register the sound of pipes creaking in the walls as water is shut off and the sound of jazz music disappearing to a muffle. You shake your head at the male, but smile at his words. “Seokjin, what I mean is, are the two of you comfortable— do you feel at home?”

At those words, the hybrid freezes, staring at you with wide eyes. After a few moments he attempts to form a response, the conflict behind his eyes making your heart clench painfully. “I… we…”

You sigh, offering the male a slightly sad smile. “Seokjin, it’s okay. I… I’m sorry. I realise that I could have been doing a better job, with this whole thing. I should have done more to ease you guys into this, and reassure you.”

The male is silent, his eyes glistening slightly. You continue, “I realised earlier that it’s possible you don’t feel like… like this is a permanent home for you, that you could feel as though I’m just a middle ground or a foster home and that you can’t really settle or feel secure here. Is that right?”

His mouth falls open, expression conveying just how completely caught off guard he is—you are right, it seems. He can’t seem to muster a response, but his features contort into an expression of guilt.  “y-y/n, I’m sorry—”

Realising the turn his thoughts are taking, you hurry to step closer and sooth him. “No, bub, you don’t have to apologise at all. This one is on me. This is as new for me as it is for you two, but that doesn’t excuse it. I need to do better, and I will. I…”

At the barest sound of shuffling, you turn over your shoulder and hold your arm out invitingly; Taehyung stands clad in his stripy pyjamas in the doorway and regards the two of you with wide, watering eyes, apparently having heard your conversation thus far. The second he sees your invitation he darts forward, perching on the bed in front of you and clutching the outstretched hand he’d grabbed on his way past.

You take a deep breath before looking both of them in the eyes, one at a time, and speaking. “I want this to be your home. I want you to feel comfortable, and safe, and loved. I want you to know that this isn’t a short-term commitment for me, okay? I’m not going to ever suddenly change my mind, I’m not going to stop caring for you or wanting you around.”

Your voice softens as you take in the way their eyes water slightly. “You can let go of that guard you have over your hearts, and you can let me in. I promise that I will take care of you. You’re safe here, alright? I’m not… I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”

“y/n…” Seokjin’s voice wobbles, his chin trembling.  You reach up and wipe away the beginnings of tears, doing the same to Taehyung who moves and nuzzles his face into your touch eagerly. It soothes you to see his stormy mood from earlier has vanished completely.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything.” A smile tugs your lips, a tender feeling warming your chest. “But… I do have something else to say.”

They both seem a little wary at your words, but relax when you cup their cheeks—Seokjin has long since moved over on the bed so you can reach him.

“I want to say I’m sorry, for not being more knowledgeable about hybrid things,” you say, catching the confused look in their eyes. “I’m going to do more research in the future, but for now…”

They seem to guess where you’re going with this, cheeks colouring. Seokjin mumbles, “You’re talking about how we’ve been acting, aren’t you.”

When you nod, he seems a little apprehensive and anxious. You speak before he can come to any drastic conclusions. “It’s because I come home smelling like other hybrids, right? And you don’t like smelling other hybrids on me.”

Now that you’ve voiced it, the two of them have the decency to appear somewhat embarrassed and chastised. They nod, heads hanging slightly, and you fight back a chuckle. At least they’re aware that it’s not an appropriate behaviour, though it’s not like they can help it. It’s instinct for them, and while its hard for you to wrap your head around as a human, you accept it. You accept them.

“You can scent me, you know.”

At your words, their heads whip up so fast you’re worried they’ll have whiplash from the sheer jerkiness and speed of the movement. Taehyung’s mouth has dropped completely open, eyes blown wide as he stares at you in disbelief—his whole face slowly stains pink and when you turn to regard Seokjin you find the fox hybrid in a similar state.

“Wh-what did you say?” he asks, so softly you almost wonder if you imagined it. He stares at you like he can hardly believe such words would come out of your mouth, like he’d never even considered the possibility.

“You can scent me,” you repeat, head tilting slightly. “I read that it’s something you need to do to feel secure, and comfortable… am I wrong?”

Taehyung’s mouth snaps shut and he shakes his head fervently, hands clutching yours at his cheek. Seokjin hurries to elaborate.

“No! No it’s not wrong, we… it’s an instinct…” he trails off, biting his lip. “We didn’t know… didn’t think you would be comfortable with it, b-because it’s…. it’s kind of weird….”

You tut, tapping your hand against their cheeks softly but enough to startle them. “You sweet fools,” you say, grinning—their ears perk up at the affection in your tone, tails twitching as though they contain the urge to wag. “I didn’t accept you unknowingly, I realised it would come with new territory and new things I hadn’t heard of or done before. Also, my cute boys, please don’t make my decisions for me. From now on, please tell me when something is troubling you, alright? Let’s keep honesty and openness as our policy. I really want the two of you to be happy.”

The two of them are nodding again before the last word even leaves your mouth, pressing their faces to your palms like eager puppies. It makes you giggle a little, and at the sound they both light up, tails giving a small wag.

“We understand, y/n,” Seokjin says, smiling and blowing you away for a moment with his beauty. “Thank you.”

You nod, appeased for now, and let a few moments of contented silence fall between you all before Seokjin is shifting suddenly, looking very much like he has something further to say. You look to him pointedly and he grows sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck shyly.

“Uh, about what you said earlier… c-could we…?”

You snort softly, sending him a reassuring smile. “Yes, Seokjin, you can scent me. Do what you need to do, pretty boys. I’m yours however you need me.”

The two of them are immediately visibly giddy at your words, though something foreign and dark sparks to life in their eyes. You don’t have enough time to decipher it before Taehyung is lurching forward, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you backwards onto the bed with him. Seokjin immediately shuffles back to accommodate, slotting himself perfectly into your free side when Taehyung nestles into the other. They seek out the crook of your neck on instinct, burying their faces there in sync and making you shiver slightly from the sensation.

They rub their faces against the skin, cheeks pressed to your shoulders, and keep that up for a while. You’re curious as to why that is all they’re doing; when you looked it up earlier, several sources said that certain acts embed the scent more deeply than others. Like rubbing their cheeks against you, versus licking, or even soft kisses as some sites had informed you. Different actions made the scent stronger. Although, you know that neither of them have been in an environment where they’ve been able to do this before, so you know this is all new territory for them as well and they’re unsure of their boundaries. Right on cue as you think this, you sense Seokjin grow slightly tense next to you, his movements slowing.

“y/n…”

You turn, pressing a kiss to the top of his head between his ears. “Seokjin, I know. Do what you feel you need to.”

With verbal permission from you, he sags in relief. At once he returns to clinging to you with a hand clutching your hip on the opposite side, worming beneath the edge of your shirt so he is closer to you. Taehyung shuffles on your other side, doing the same. You feel your heartrate pick up slightly from the way they nuzzle into you, lips brushing your sensitive flesh. It doesn’t help that all you read before is fresh in your mind and you know how scenting can go for hybrids of their type—the idea has your stomach flipping in anticipation.

Taehyung is the first to change his tactics. Burying his nose in your neck, he presses his lips to the skin in a soft kiss before you feel his tongue dart out. It swipes along your sensitive flesh in short strips, the tip of the muscle leaving blots of wetness in its wake—it’s a sensation that tickles slightly as much as it makes your heartrate skyrocket, and you can’t help the soft giggle that slips out as a result. You feel his answering smile moments later.

Seokjin has a similar idea, but his execution differs. His body curls around you, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hip as he begins to pepper soft kiss after kiss along the column of your neck. He pauses as he nears your hairline, taking a moment to bury his nose in your locks and bask in your scent—you shiver at the feeling and he holds you tighter in his arms.

There’s something about the act that seems to make them succumb that little bit more to their instincts. Unexpectedly, they quickly grow a little bolder. Taehyung pulls the thin strap of your shirt down so he can continue his trail down your shoulder and over the curve of your clavicle. Seokjin’s kisses turn open-mouthed, and he seems to have found a place on your neck just under the curve of your jaw where your scent is strongest—lightly, tenderly, he begins sucking over your pulse point. Your breathing hitches unwittingly in response.

At this point you think you’re going to have a heart attack; your pulse is off the charts and your stomach is a live pool of nerves. Even with what you read, your surprised and alarmed and shamefully a little excited at where this is beginning to go.  Through the haze beginning to permeate your brain, you realise you have to stop them in their tracks before they step too far and can’t go back. Still, it all feels so nice…

You’re only jerked into motion when Taehyung moves, shifting closer and holding himself slightly over you as his mouth maps over your clavicle and begins to move further down. Your heart jumps, and with a surprised squeak trapped in your throat you bring your hand to his head right before he reaches the start of your breast, almost at the edge of the singlet.

“Tae,” is all you say, but your tone seems to bring both of them back to the present a bit. Taehyung shudders, letting out a huff before simply dropping his body down half on top of you, head resting in the crook of your neck. Seokjin presses his lips to your skin in one long, final kiss, before burying his face there and relaxing against you as his brother did. Like this, they return to their earlier ministrations, before it began to get… yeah.

Now that they’re no longer making your heartrate jump to unhealthy levels, the longer you’re in their soft embrace the more sluggish and sleepy you feel—their warmth is like a blanket of security and safety thrown over you, their affection soothing any worries or stress you might retain from the week and day. The feeling is mutual; gradually, the two of them begin to slow in their movements, Taehyung’s soft lapping returning to the occasional press of his lips and nuzzle, Seokjin remaining still with his tongue darting out every so often. Without even meaning to, the three of you fall asleep there in each other’s embrace, tension soothed and worries mollified. One last thing crosses your mind before you drift off.

You really are starting to love these two hybrids with all your heart, but after this experience you have to wonder...

Is that the only thing you feel?

a/n: please let me know what u think,, and lmk if u enjoyed this with a like and/or rb!! also feel free to drop an ask, i’m keen to know what u thought! thank u for reading and supporting me!! <3

masterlist || prev. | next.

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

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What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[lurking96]

Chapter 323 One step forward and one step back.

Like just before the following is my opinion onb the current chapter. It is tagged. You can choose to ignore it and it’s under a read more.

Like always first comes the summary. The chapter starts with Iida talking to Nezu before they go out to grab Izuku. We learn about what the schools barrier is about. The school is split into sections and each of these sections can move. They can move underground and be transported far away if needed. Kaminari exclaims that it sounds like a mecha anime. The underground is also protected by 3000 layers of strengthened plating. It is then also explained that Shiketsu has similar defense mechanisms and that if needed the tunnels would bring the shelters to Shiketsu. We also learn that Nezu is loaded as he paid for the security out of his own pocket. That Nezu is world wide renowed thanks to his contributions to quirk morality education. Nezu talks about discrimination and that humanity struggles to make true progress towards a world without it and that the barrier is a good argument to bring Izuku back. We then cut back from the flashback to the scene before UA. The civilians dont want him to enter. Saying that he is a danger. They even claim that having one for all makes him a nomu. We see other characters. Inko is held back by Mizuki Bakugou because she tried to run to him. Monoma is inside with Class 1B and shields Eri from watching the scene unfold while trying to calm her. We see Ragdoll with Kota in the background of the crowd of course not screaming at him. A panel shows a phone with a youtube like app open showing theory videos about Shigarakis target and AFO and OFA. Best Jeanist tries to calm the crowd down. Tells them that they tried to use Izuku to find out the enemies location. But now Izuku needs to rest because while he was used as bait he is also their biggest resource and not letting him rest would lead to a fatal loss. He tries to convince them to let Izuku rest so he can fight again in peak condition. This does not convince them. The civilians claim that they failed before and that they don’t want to pay for “their” mistakes. That all they want is a safe space to sleep. This unease. This anger even sets Izukus danger sense off and he takes a step back. Ochaco jumps on a roof after grabbing a megaphone. She stops herself from using the name Deku. And tells them that Izuku Midoriya has a special power. The civilians dont want him to rest here. Ochako tells them that he left because he didnt want to cause trouble for anyone. Izuku stares up at her and softly calls her name. She tells them that his power is special and there to beat All for One. That he went through incredible pain and needed to leave because they are after him. She wants them to take a good look at him. We see Izuku dirty and in his almost destroyed costume. Inko is stilly crying. Uraraka says that Izuku wants to fix the problems more than anything that he still continues forward even when he gets hunted down. She wants them to look. We see the woman with the fox mutation from before. She recognizes him as the person that helped her. Uraraka says that special powers are one thinhg but there is no such thing as a special person. Bakugou says that they are there to handle things when he can’t do it alone. Izuku keeps looking at Uraraka. We see a look in Nezus mind. Him thinking that it only needs one step in the right direction to carve the path. The path on an impossible feeling journey. That a hero even better than All Might will rise up. We see Ochako surrounded by those words.

Okay. With the summary done now my opinion.

I honestly expected less from the barrier. To me it seemed sort of like something easy to break last chapter. I don’t want to know how much money must have been spend on that. Kaminari sounds right. It feels like some mecha anime. It is also nice to see Shiketsu being talked about again. It´s also nice to see class 1B and see Eri with them. See her bonding with Monoma who is not made out to be the comic relief hate sink. It´s nice to see Kota and the fox lady. Three people that Izuku rescued. I can somewhat understand the Civilians. However they are not completly blameless and rather selfish. They have been relying on the heroes for decades. Seeing them more as demigods than simple humans with powers. We saw this with the pedestal that All Might had been on. Nobody saw the man Yagi Toshinori. The man broken down by rescuing them over and over again. They only saw the shiny symbol. When they saw the true man behind the mask they of course were shocked. Same with Izuku. Uraraka needed to make them look because while they glare and want to attack Izuku they have not been looking at him. They have ignored that he is also just a human. A human that needs rest in a safe place. They probably haven’t seen heroes as human in a long time. It´s a problem of a society that puts heroes on a pedestal. A society obsessed with them that as soon as mistakes happen the ones that formerly followed their saviors will suddenly want them dead. Yes. They are scared. But so scared that they will throw anyone out. That they won’t even let their savior inside. That they won’t let him rest because even now they still think “They are heroes. They don’t back down. They don’t need rest”. It´s so much unease and anger that it sets off danger sense and makes him step back. Danger sense notes the intentions of other people. As far as we can tell they were not trying to go for a pacifist solution. Honestly I don’t like the civilians in this chapter. Izuku left at first to protect them. But now when he needs something they won’t give it to him. It´s simply not a healthy relationship. One just takes while the other keeps giving. Uraraka shows herself to be a hero. This is her chapter. Uraraka wants to be a hero that saves heroes. and this is what she does. She seemingly calms down the civilians. Her words not only reach them but from the looks also reach Izukus mind. His eyes are fixated on her and as far as I can see she makes him take a step forward. Just like the chapters title “That single step”. Thanks to her Izuku takes that step forward again. She shows herself to be a hero ready to rescue heroes. The one to bring in the era of the ultimate hero. Izuku needs to rest. And yes while they may have found a different place this one here is the safest for him. He is a target but that doesnt mean he should get less safety. I just hope the civilians will have learned and let him inside. Still think some might try to get to sell him out to AFO. IzuOcha is thriving with this chapter. This is one of Ochakos moments and I hope there will be more like this in the future. Again this is an opinion. I do not claim it to be a complete fact.

[dropoutparty]

shurara corps ark fix-it concept babeyy!!

under a read more bc this shits long LOL

also this is kinda rambly but whatever

when it comes to shuraras motivations here, maybe he could have been another childhood friend of keroros. idk how they could have been introduced, maybe through pururu or just by meeting in school, but ig that part doesnt rlly matter. what DOES matter though is that shurara decided to tag along with keroro, giroro, zeroro, and pururu on one of their misadventures and he gets hurt during it. BADLY. pururu patches him up, and zeroro apologizes like crazy (since he knows how much this sucks), but shurara is left with a strong dislike of keroro and friends. except for pururu, who he still likes (but im not keeping the crush bc it serves no purpose here) and zeroro who he kinda forgives a little bit but just because he apologized so much. maybe this could have resulted in some major physical injury that affected how he lived for a while, or maybe it spawned a phobia, but either way it left an impact.

putata and mekeke are sent in first with the goal of beating up the platoon a little bit and taking the star because they are the most skilled team. shurara doesnt want the star because of some stupid bandaid, but he wants to take it in order to both deeply hurt keroros pride and also to potentially have his platoon no longer be officially recognized, taking away something that means a lot to keroro. they actually succeed in taking the keron star kinda. when they get back to base, they realize that the star is fake, its just a piece of fabric or paper with tape on it (like what happened in the original arcs ending). this way the shurara corps will be established as an actual threat and also the ending will have actual stakes.

gyororo sends word back to base that the keron star putata and mekeke got was fake, so giruru is sent in to ACTUALLY get the real star, as well as punish the platoon for embarrassing the corps like that. this one plays out kinda like the actual episode (bc im too lazy to think of anything else), but all that matters is that he still ends up captured.

after this, the platoon is like ok this might actually be serious so they go on high alert. one day dororo notices gyororo (who was sent in a little before putata and mekeke to scout the place out and gather info) bc hes the only competent member of the platoon and confronts him, outing his presence to everyone. gyororo fights back but he is also captured in the end.

after the platoon has captured giruru and gyororo , shurara plans to capture and torture a member of the platoon as revenge. before he can do this though, dokuku and nuii decide to rescue giruru and gyororo in secret. nuii serves as a distraction to everyone while dokuku goes to rescue the fellaz. theres some minor conflict but in the end the four of them escape. after that happens, shurara is furious about his subordinates disobeying him and doing things behind his back, but he keeps his goal the same.

im gonna change yukikis powers bc they kinda suck and hes confusing. anyways yukiki isnt actually a snowman, but hes the hat! kinda like in mario odyssey, you put the hat on anyone or anything, and it will immediately be controlled by yukiki. he was an experiment done to try to make a sentient object, and he got his name because he was first tested on a snowman (which also makes it the form hes most comfortable taking). anyways, shurara sends in yukiki to capture someone by taking control of them, but hes defeated somehow and returns empty-handed.

im also gonna change robobos powers a bit. with robobo i dont think that he should have the ability to turn people into electronics because thats dumb and doesnt make any sense, so im gonna give him the ability to just control other machines. he also doesnt have a giant form, and can switch his hands between their magnet form and their drill form. anyways, at this point shurara is furious and decides that he doesnt care about capture anymore, he wants the platoon dead. he decides to send robobo for the job because robots dont have the same margin of error that living things do, or at least theyre supposed to. turns out, they totally do bc robobo also comes back with a failure.

after this, shurara somehow lures the platoon to his base (just like in the anime) but this time everyone is waiting for them there in a big empty room together. shuraras disembodied voice gets a monologue like in the anime and the roof opens, lighting the room up because its a bright spring day. kagege then appears and takes control of the platoons shadows like in the anime! all of the shadows are used to fight the platoon, as well as the corps themselves fighting. its an epic fight, but just when it seems like the platoon is all gonna die, the corps suddenly decide to stop fighting. they all tell the platoon about how shurara has been acting worryingly erratic and obsessive, so they agree to spare the platoons life as long as they confront shurara. the platoon obviously agrees, and theyre taken to a holding area so that shurara thinks that theyve won. they give them this offer because theyre not personally invested in killing these nerds, they dont really care. they ARE worried about shurara though, seeing how obsessed with this hes become.

anyways kagege reports to shurara (in my headcanon hes like shuraras right hand man or something like that) and is like "we beat the platoon, but we didnt kill them. theyre our prisoners right now and were gonna torture them before we let you do the honors" and then shuraras like "poggers!!! thats a great idea!!" and then proceeds to drink his choccy milk and play minedcraft. meanwhile, some of the others are actually patching the platoon up and telling them what to do with shurara. they tell the platoon to try to hurt him as little as possible, and DEFINITELY dont fucking kill him, but just try to knock some sense into him and restrain him or something.

the platoon asks why shurara hates them so much and whoevers patching them up doesnt know, but kagege comes down soon after and tells them shuraras motivations. after this, some understanding can be felt by giroro and dororo (bc they were there, even tho dororo is the only one who remembers shirara like at all) and keroro feels kinda guilty but not too much bc head empty. later, the corps has a big celebration feast and shurara declares that hell painfully kill the platoon bright and early tomorrow. in all the commotion, nuii convinces gyororo to sneak down into the platoons holding cells to bring them some leftover food.

the next day, the platoon is brought to the same room that they fought the corps in, and theyre tied up. shurara is talkin abt how hes gonna kill them all super painfully and stuff but little does he know that the ropes holding the platoon are actually not secure at all (on purpose), so the platoon all escapes their bindings and a fight with shurara ensues. when the platoon is in a tight spot, one of the corps will show up real quick and help them out, kinda like a support in a fighting game. eventually, shurara is tied up and defeated technically.

shurara is whining and stuff and calling the corps a bunch of traitors, but the corps talk to him about how worried they all are about him and that this whole thing has gone too far (you rlly think these goobers are worth all this effort??). shurara says something about how keroro hurt him before, so he wants to hurt him and his platoon back. the corps are like ya i get that but killing them is wayy overkill no pun intended. keroro apologizes and maybe dororo can say something about how keroro also hurt him in the past but hes been able to move past that or whatever and shurara is like bro ur right and he starts crying like da babey he is lmao and there u have it!!! the arcs over and everyone is ok and happy!!! found family trope pog!!!!!!

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA FIC PROMPTS

A collection of all of the fic ideas from that ask game, as of now. I’ll throw in new ones if i get any and when I remember. Feel free to use any of them, I’d love a link if you did!

with hands to the sky, I beg (what will save us?)

Izuku is a god who asks to be reborn as a human to try and help. He is warned he can’t return to being a god and will join the mortal realm, ever reincarnated. He agrees.

Izuku is a child with faint memories of a life he never lived, who knows too much about the world but not enough about the people around him. He’s not listed as having a quirk but he’s never gotten sick, never been hurt. He scares the other children and the adults don’t like his precocious nature. Inko loves her little miracle.

 My Soul is Like a Supernova

Things happen around Izuku. Always have. Everything from earthquakes and villain attacks to miraculous healing and lottery wins. He’s always attracted big events like this - as if even the universe can see how important he is and it warps itself around him.

He sees this as perfectly normal. 1A is begining to notice a stressful pattern.

This one regret of mine

Character study of Inko and how she deeply regrets so many things she’s done in her life, from her husband, to giving up on her carrier, to telling Izuku he couldn’t be a hero and then letting him keep going to UA.

But no matter what she’d never regret her son.

Of souls and lost causes

A good ol’ Izuku sees dead people AU, focused more on his younger years when he’d wander around the city helping as many spirits as he could, only to return home at the end of the day exhausted and dirty to an increasingly worried mother who believed the doctor when he said seeing ghosts as a quirk would be impossible.

my life.your choice

Underground heroics AU (i dont think ive ever posted that au huh): Izuku is the well-known son of japan’s immortal emperor, All for One. Born quirkless, he’s been emotionally abused but violently protected his whole life by his father, his mother killed before his eyes for trying to take him away. He’s never been able to make a choice for himself save for his bodyguard - his childhood friend, Bakugo Katsuki.

Katsuki made a pledge to protect him when they were in kindergarten and he’ll be damned if he breaks it now. And if it takes the two of them joining the resistance, meeting a vigilante by the name of All Might thought long dead and Izuku receiving a near-mythical quirk? Well, that just makes it more exciting, doesn’t it?

I forgot that you existed

Izuku gets hit with a quirk that not only makes people forget him, it prevents them from seeing him as well - all but erasing him from reality for everyone he knows. He can still interact with things but all it manages to do is just UA shut down under fear of villain infiltration. They find Izuku 18 hours later when the quirk wears off - a motion tracking gun trained on his forehead.

certain uncertainties

No one can predict the quirks trapped in One for All or when they’ll show up. Anthology fic of Izuku discovering each of them, some being rather helpful, and at least one piece of merch being sent into a low orbit.

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Set in the same universe I wrote console reset in; during the two heroes movie: they never defeat Nine and he slaughters the whole island and his class, leaving Izuku till last. He comes back at the start of their first day on the island and doggedly makes friends with every islander he can because while it hurt seeming them die, it hurt even more knowing he’d never even learnt most of their names.

They win this time the first time they meet him, even if it’s a marathon fight of 8 hours with him and Bakugo doggedly wearing him down. No one dies. Izuku thinks it’s worth dying as many times as he has to to keep the people he loves smiling.

The immortality of the heroic spirit

One of the quirks in One for All is determination: if you have something you desperately want to do, you can’t die - no matter how much blood you lose or home many pieces your body is crushed into - you’ll just heal back to where you were before you died. All Might and Aizawa find this out to horrifying effect during a brutal villain fight they are stuck watching on the news with the rest of a terrified UA.

In hindsight this makes a lot of sense to Izuku. Aizawa wants to scream. All Might has coughed up more blood than is probably healthy and all of 1A bruised hands from where they were clutching each other’s when it got too tense.

Shine on you invincible legacy

Izuku becomes a top 10 hero before hes even out of high school, hitting No.2 the second he graduates and taking No.1 from Hawks literally the next time the ranking is counted. 1A will not stop throwing him parties each time he moves up in the ranking, even if in 3rd year it was every other week. All Might comes to ever one of them.

Shake the Dirt from Your Shoes

Izuku will be a hero and no one will stop him - an AU a fair bit like the beginning of canon except Izuku fights back, remains unending optimistic and maybe engages in a light bit of technically legal vigilantism, accidentally befriending a vast array of heroes and a student or two.

To his horror, they recognise him out of costume as soon as he speaks to them, resulting in a very eventful first day at UA.

do you feel with a heart of steel

Original Sin AU, young Izuku finding feeling emotions difficult and not knowing why. He finds a dying animal on the way home and sits with it, patting it until it passes away. He doesn’t think he feels anything, but his cheeks feel wet.

all you want is milk and honey

Villains have been trying to use Izuku his entire life, much to his annoyance and confusion (I wonder who in his family might make him known to villains? hm). He’s gotten very good at being intimidating, even as a child.

When he gets kidnapped with Bakugo on a primary school field trip he decides to hell with it and breaks out all the stops. Turns out villains don’t tend to want a 10-year-old who can describe in great detail how they would hang you with your own intestines.

Bakugo decides that fuck Izuku being quirkless, he’s kind of amazing.

Even the stars

Izuku dies young and no one but the stars cry for him. They bring him back, but his body is cold and he has a nova burning where his heart should be. A four-year-old who has known death and walked among the stars is a terrifying thing. His skin has a shimmer to it, his eyes look like planets with no visible pupil, and he knows far too much.

The stars still speak to him, and they see everything.

bitter dreams and optimistic nightmares

Bakugo and Izuku grow up good friends, until Izuku is taken by villains age 9.

Bakugo’s determined to be a hero to save Izuku, even if it hurts to be at UA without him.

Izuku hates hurting people but he’s determined to make the most of his horrible situation by leaking information to heroes whenever he can. He’s given to All for One to serve as a lab hand to the doctor when All for One finds out this rag tag outpost of his had been hiding a valuable resource.

They meet at the USJ.

Mind Games for Two Shinsou and Izuku are both gen ed students in the same class, but with Shinsou stubbornly refusing to make friends and Izuku being the vice president they are almost strangers. UA has a no quirkless students policy and Shinsou has accidentally discovered that he student in his class with an analysis quirk, doesn’t, actually, have one. Izuku is aware Shinsou knows. They both want to get into the hero course but are under the impression there is only one spot.

It’s tense.

The Melody Stuck in My Soul

Izuku has an empathy/emotional control quirk that hears other’s emotions like music. He uses this both to read people, to defend himself, and, because hes Izuku, to ramp up his adrenaline/motivation/anger to kick ass. He and Bakugo are friends because baby Bakugo was lowkey impressed Izuku managed to weaponize his tears.

Advantage of the musical element: it gives him something concrete to latch on to and change, and it was very easy to work out which emotions were which. Also he has his own theme song, even if he’s the only one who can hear it.

Disadvantage: He cant turn it off. The stronger the emotion the ‘louder’ the music (it doesn’t cover up natural sounds because its not technically there, you get me?)

Error 404, childhood not found

A Hero’s Son AU, snapshot’s of Izuku’s childhood with No.1 Hero All for One as his abusive father.

Age 4 when his quirk never comes in and All for One abandons all pretences of loving him. Age 6 when he realises his son is intelligent and has a use as a lab assistant for the doctor. Age 8 when Bakugo first realises something is wrong. Age 9 when his father is almost killed by the No.1 villain All Might. Age 9 when he’s made to work in the labs with the doctor.

Age 14 when he meets All Might. Age 15 when he makes it into UA.

Darkness Growing (The Light Ever Smaller)

Villains take over Japan after the current arc, leaving all heroes and students that don’t switch sides on the run. 1A is instantly separated with a few of them  being killed, most of the living students with Aizawa and Izuku and Bakugo by themselves, both too stubborn to leave the other.

Aizawa is desperately trying to get to Izuku and Bakugo in an attempt to keep them safe, while the two of them are avoiding Aizawa to keep the rest of their class safe(er), all while avoiding the villains, turncoat heroes and police out to get them. Public support is spotty at best with anyone found ‘harboring a criminal’ given the same punishment as the hero.

Lost soul of last hope

The first wielder has been Izuku’s imaginary friend since he can remember. He’s not very imaginary.

Featuring Izuku with the world’s strangest older brother, Inko coming to the realisation her son can see a ghost, but only one ghost and no one will believe them, Izuku’s quirk being listed as Inko’s because the first wielder can help him fake it, and Izuku wondering why first looks so much like that picture of his father on his mother’s bedside table.

The kids the system failed

100% The 1A run aways au with 1A, Aizawa and Mic being runaways kids of various ages that band together to stay alive and maybe do a little vigilante work on the side.

Izuku has All for One and uses it like you’d expect a traumatised kid to - cautiously at first but when he gets the hang of it there are suddenly no more criminals with quirks in their area, and it looks suspiciously like Uraraka can fly.

Just a second to soon? For the Fic thing?

Aizawa struggles and gets knocked out just before Shigaraki lunges at Tsuyu. She and Izuku are left horribly injured by his quirk with massive facial scarring, and in Tsuyu’s case, the loss of an eye.

Daze

An illusion/fear quirk makes his teachers look like villains and convinces him he’s in danger. They try and stop him without hurting him but it’s difficult considering Izuku is convinced he’s protecting his friends, considering he can only see them broken and bloodied with villains he thought were locked away loaming over them.

Even as Aizawa cuts out his quirk Izuku still tries to shield his friends, snarling ferally.

Morning Glories and Forget-me-nots

A memory quirk of unknown duration hits Izuku, leaving him remembering none of his life. 1A starts to fall apart without one of their pillar’s.

hopeless but not broken

The Long Con au where Izuku asks All Might if he could be a hero without a quirk - he’s really asking if he can stop pretending to be a villain, if he’s worth anything without the quirks he’s been given, if he’s worth something as himself rather than the limited use he can provide. He doesn’t know how to say all of that, so he just asks if he could be a hero.

All Might says no. And Izuku basically decides right then that the only way he’ll ever be able to help people is by being a mole for the heroes like he’s been since he was 10 - that he isn’t worth anything because he’s quirkless and to be considered just as valuable as the people around him are he needs to give his life and more.

He shows up to the bar crying because of All Might and Shigaraki moves his murder plot forward a few months.

Sunflowers and Summer Gardens

All Might starts a garden on campus and 1A like to help. He uses it as a nice place to chill and as physical therapy. He likes to give the different classes bunches of flowers when they sprout.

For Dos and For Donts

Izuku runs into some of his old bullies when out with some of his friends. Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, Shinsou and Asui intimidate the fuck out of them, and Izuku realises hes not scared of them any more. Then they get frozen yoghurt!

your mistakes, my unbecoming

Aizawa assigns a project on quirk related issues, Izuku ends up with quirkless discrimination, Aizawa assumes his discomfort is just him being upset he doesn’t get to talk about quirks. He doesn’t realise his mistake until he finds Izuku dissociating on the roof.

one and one into the vast

Original Sin AU, All for One and Izuku seeing the vestiges together. One for All sees his brother for the first time and Izuku learns a lot about the voice in his head.

All for One has a mini-crisis about his not son learning he’s a horrific villain, especially considering he has the power to cast his soul out at any time, killing him at will. Izuku doesn’t kill him. He admits its probably not right of him to let AfO remain considering the things he’s done, but All for One is a part of him now and it would be like killing a friend.

All for One quietly decides to hold off on the villainy until all of 1A is dead, for Izuku’s sake.

between the stars of our souls

Izuku and All Might are old gods who keep getting reborn into human forms with their memories regained when they turn 4. Normally finding each other takes a while, and their last reincarnation they never found each other, so this time he resolves to make himself as easy to find as possible, all while saving as many people as he can.

Izuku, aged 4, memories fresh in his head, makes it his mission to get into contact with the man he knows is his father/mentor’s reincarnation. All Might’s agency was not expecting a 4 year old to repeatedly try breaking in to their office, and they especially weren’t expecting him to be so good at it.

you really should have thought this through

Different (and ill-advised) attempts at special moves or team up combo moves. Featuring:

Izuku managing to break Kirishima’s nose.

Uraraka sending Bakugo so high he broke the sound barrier coming back down to earth.

Kaminari and Shouto managing to electrify ice.

Izuku, Todoroki and Bakugo levelling a whole suburb (at least it was condemned???)

I'll Break Anything You Give Me

Different times Izuku desperately tried to repair his relationship with Izuku over the years and the one time Bakugo fully grasps how much he fucked up and reaches out his hand to try to fix it for the first time. Probably includes a lot of screaming, Bakugo learning how to say sorry, a field trip and them having a conversation on Aldera’s roof.

Sinking

One for All kind of possesses Izuku during a quiet night at the dorms. One for All, made of 8 people, 7 of which are dead and had their last experiences in life be rather painful and violent, breaks down, Izuku alone not enough to drown them out. They lash out at anyone who tries to touch them, their quirks tearing Izuku’s body apart.

All Might’s vestige reaches out a hand to Izuku to keep his mind from being torn apart as 1A set about both trying to protect Izuku and get Aizawa who was off campus on patrol.

Feat. Bakugo and All Might being the only people with any idea about what’s going on and getting more and more stressed each second that passes. Iida, Uraraka and Todoroki being good heroes and even better friends. Blood King deciding he’s never watching 1A for Aizawa again, and Aizawa deciding he’s never leaving 1A alone ever again.

A Long Way From Home

Shirakumo wakes up in Kurogiri’s body in Tartarus with only shadowed memories of his time as a villain. He’s scared and alone and he just wants to see his friends again, even if he’s scared they hate him because at least that’s something he knows.

Too Far Gone

The other side AU, it comes out Izuku is a villain with (knockoff) All for One and he has a showdown with Mirio. He and Izuku trained together under All Might and Mirio tries to plead with him but Izuku has to basically tell him to go to hell to not ruin his placet as crown prince of the underworld.

Of course, he’s not only doing this to save people, he’s also doing it with All Might’s blessing - taking over from All Might himself serving as a villain after he killed All for One to prevent a power vacuum.

Doesn’t mean that his friends in 1A know that.

Snowy hills and sunlit peaks

Probably an AU about All Might being a mountain spirit with a little shrine that Izuku is the only one who visits - Izuku gets in trouble and All Might manifests himself, saves him, and tells everyone to keep their hands off his human son.

Wilting

Izuku gets sick and he tries to hide it because he’s scared its something serious but he just gets worse and worse. His friends are the ones who eventually step in and comfort him.

I’d probably write two endings with one being a bad end and the other a good end.

My wish came true without me realising 

Izuku wakes up one morning, comes downstairs and just starts crying. Everyone panics and he reassures them they are happy tears and that he's just glad to be here. They all call him sappy and give him a hug. Later in the day he and Bakugo chat and Izuku reveals he never even expected to live this long, let alone become a hero. Bakugo grumbles that he’s too stubborn to die, and not to get too cocky. Izuku promises he wont.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

let me explain to you the plot of borderlands 4 (kidding. mostly)

tl;dr: the eridians are evil, or, worse, completely uncaring about the things going on in their little sandcastle. the guardians are salty bitches about it and need our help and/or are going to start slaughtering people and im gonna fuckING TAlk ABOUT IT mostly because i need to write this down bc its been bouncing around my head since the game (bl3, not 4. that’d be wild) came out. minor spoilers for Guns Love and Tentacles. mostly that side quest.

tl;dr: tl;dr: eridians bad, guardians mad, and we are caught in the middle of a war that’s about to go down between them. spoilers for GLaT

tl;dr: tl;dr: tl;dr: Fl4k was a warning. Spoilers.

i dont even know where to begin because FUCK THERE’S SO GODDAMN MUCH TO THIS STORY

so im just going to start listing facts or points (+) of this theory that i remember at this very moment and probably forget a lot of them alright i’ll elaborate on all of this i promise. okay? lets go

+the eridians made a bunch of vaults that hold monsters in them

+some of these monsters are clearly constructs. some of them are not

+those that are clearly constructs:

the warrior

the traveler

the sentinel

+those that are not clearly constructs:

the destroyer

the rampager

the serpent

(possibly) gythian

(possibly) graveward (more on this in a bit)

+those that are not accounted for:

the timekeeper (but do keep this bad boy in mind)

+the eridians made the guardians: biomechanical constructs that are somewhat sentient, gaining sentience, and are supposed to guard the Vaults

+we also know now that there are these things called proving grounds with a salty, sentient guardian named the Overseer:

“vault hunter, I thought you might show up sooner or later. so naughty your species, so curious. the vault of vaults has been opened and IT has been released. prove your worth and I will reveal why the masters made me wait for you”

“naughty humans have opened the vault of vaults but the masters will determine who is a fault. until next time, warrior”

“long ago there was a brief spark, the first vault was opened, a light in the dark. a riddle, yes? perhaps it will unravel next time, hunter”

“so, you’ve returned. persistent, yes. or stubborn? or both. are you so desperate to prove yourself?”

“we were created for one purpose by our masters- and we couldn’t even do that right (laughs). but don’t blame us! when a cog breaks, point your finger at the artificer, not the cog! are you a cog, Vault hunter, or an artificer? Or both? prove yourself worthy.”

“pity us not, though the world has been broken. those who sleep will soon be awoken. not long now, seeker.”

“the eridians were our masters, but we failed them. they gave the order then silence. they VANISHED. such is our fate, Vault Hunter. server to a master who has left the house so long ago. prove to me that you deserve an introduction.”

“we were supposed to guard the Great Jail. but no quarter for servants who fail. but servant, that is not quite right. ‘Prisoner’. that is what i am. Until next time, adventurer.”

“a final chance to prove yourself. but will your reward be what you desire? a prisoner in a cell staring out at the fathoms of a sleeping universe. after a time, how would you know if you were prisoner or master? consider this while you prove yourself one last time.”

“it has come to this. one last trial. but will your efforts be worthwhile? that is what we will determine next time, hero”

“I am a prisoner, but you, vault hunter? what are you? hunter, warrior, hero? no matter what name i use, you return to prove yourself time and time again. but prove it to whom, i wonder? perhaps you seek a greater audition”

“it is done and my masters have taken note. would you like to know what they told me right before they vanished? ‘beware the vault hunters, they will take your kind’s place’. now i am free, and you are chained. until next time, guardian”

“well done, but have they taken note? that is what I wonder.”

+ the entire thing about there being a Fallen Guardian we have to kill

+ how the entire thing of the trails are copies of the worlds we visited to open the Great Vault. either the eridians can see through time (TPS) or they built these recently

+how dark Maliwan is probably working together with the Guardians on Nekrotefeyo given the fact they’re working together in one of the trials

+oh and remember how i suggested Maruice’s ghostie goo (ectoplasm) is actually related to eridians and such? YEAH. turns out that was right.

+Nyriad, the unreliable narrator

+the fucking Forgetting

+how the eridians are NOT ACTUALLY GONE FOR GOOD

+the seraphs!!!

+how the guardians are all named after angels, sirens are tied to humanity’s religious imagery

+how tyreen literally only loosened the chains on the Destroyer and the destroyer is going to break free from pandora

+how animals and people like bloodwing, slag psychos, etc mutate due to the eridium on pandora

+the destroyer’s reaction to slag being injected into its eye is straight panic

+the vault monsters that are fleshy were probably science experiments by the Eridians to test eridium and/or the results of being locked in the vaults for ages

+humanity was probably created by the eridians as well (more on that later)

+the Watcher actually WANTS us to have more Vault Hunters, she warns us that war is coming. all we can assume right now is either the Watcher fucked up big time, or she WANTED all this to happen. More on that later.

+the guardians are preparing for war. the overseer seems especially salty about the cause of it.

+ graveward was killed at some point, so the guardians brought it back using the ships, so that they could use their souls to posses it (further proved by the loot: Grave, relic, and Ward, shield)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 alright holy fuck

that’s a lotta stuff to go over!!! Let’s do this thing.

Let’s start with the Eridians themselves

so. these bad boys. We never really knew much about them, but it was always kinda assumed they’ve been long gone bc of the destroyer, or just out of reach.

now that bl3 dropped we’re supposed to assume that they’re all officially dead bc of Nyriad/the Destroyer

and i am here to say that Nyriad is an unreliable fuckin narrator because she doesn’t know the whole story. in fact, she admits to not knowing everything!!

here’s what I actually think is going on, and yes, I believe 100% the eridians are shady motherfuckers who decided to play god:

the eridians are from a dimension that isn’t ours. we can assume this is a higher dimension, bc of all their weird space/time fuckery, especially the Vaults.

the eridians decided to do some science experiments. they make the vaults and use our dimension to store them and put all their experiments inside. they make guardians to guard their vaults, and they realize they can do better in the ‘making a fully conscious being’ department. they make humanity. they make sirens after experimenting with eridium. they decided to go big or go home, and they make giant monsters. after all that, they realize they fucked up, because there is one monster they cannot contain anymore, after all the shit they put it through

so the eridians realize they done fucked up and escape fully to our dimension, where they placed us and the guardians and all the science experiments they didn’t want to deal with at the moment. The Destroyer follows them

they land on nekrotefeyo, their ‘first landing’ in our dimension (hence the quote above). This, or the eridians had been in our dimension for a while now. Nyriad never says where the Eridians came from, just that they and humanity lived side-by-side, so it’s likely they’d been here for a bit, sending scientists back and forth, just doing their experiments all willy-nilly. And I would bet they created the Destroyer in that time frame.

“for their curiosity, they were rewarded with doom” i believe is a correct statement, but not in the way Nyriad thinks. I think the eridians created the destroyer to see if they could, to test the bounds of what was possible. and it backfired on them in the worst way.

Nyriad also says this, but I have a hard time believing her here

the most this is is speculation, because if none of the civilizations who met the Destroyer had nothing else to pass on, then humanity would not know of their existence. (I mean, she even says ‘SURELY it had different names’) Humanity has no record of other (intelligent) alien life in the universe, or their own civilizations being destroyed by the Destroyer*. It’s just the Eridians. 

*There is a reason for this, but let’s hold on for now.

So why tf do I think humanity was created by the Eridians? well, for one, I like the parallel to them having a god-complex. If they haven’t created humanity, then they definitely fucked with us to create Sirens. Sirens have a strong connection to Eridium and the Vaults (and other Sirens).

second, the murals in (most of) the vaults in bl3

show human-like figures hanging out with kids, and one touching something that seems oddly similar to a relic

like so

(on the left there)

there are also these really tall cloaked figures standing (t-posing) near the end of the mural

and most statues are depicted with robes on

a lot of the human figures in the mural are shown helping each other stand up, coming up from the ground like they’re being created, looking around (up at the sky at rays of light), and standing with a lot of eridian junk (there’s a vault symbol next to one). they’re also not shown to be wearing any sort of clothing, even tho extra steps were gone in to show the robed figures

it reminds me a lot of how a lot of religious texts describe humans as being molded from the earth or dirt or whathaveyou

long story short, it very much reminds of something like a creation myth, so i imagine humanity was, in fact, created by the eridians.

ESPECIALLY this smaller one reaching up to touch the relic

there’s no concrete proof for this, but its a hunch i have after studying this mural for a while. especially after Nyriad constantly questions why the Guardians were made to be on the brink of consciousness. humanity is Guardians 2, electric boogaloo. guardians were a mix of machine and bio goop, we are full bio goop. and that means we are curious, and have emotions, and are very naughty.

that or vice versa, eridians made humanity, realized we weren’t as subservient as they wanted and made the Guardians to fill that niche. Also, most importantly, the Guardians were literally made to be disposable. That’s their entire purpose. Their bodies will degrade, but then their souls will just eventually find another vessel. They’re trapped forever.

EITHER WAY

the Eridians created humanity and the guardians around the same time. enough that the guardians are likely vvvv salty about it.

humanity was made. Sirens came after that, through eridium experiments by the Eridians, explaining their connections to Eridium, as well as the other dimension (the one we are assuming Eridians are from) (think about the Lab Rats and Sirens and such)

so were the eridians preparing for something? war, maybe? possibly. they need firepower and obviously they wouldn’t sacrifice their own people when they have perfectly good constructs, so they’ll use their naughty meat slaves.

but the eridians need more than the sirens. they keep dying, and given the failsafe measures, its hard to keep track of them if one decides to let their powers go, despite the fact they added in, like, a siren gps for sirens to find other sirens and be drawn to them and shit

their big boy guardians, their constructs, aren’t doing enough to defeat their enemy

they start experimenting more with eridium. They learn it has the power to mutate things (mostly elementally, but also causes an increase in size, especially the longer/more they’re exposed to).

they create seraph crystals, condensed eridium, which mutate things at an increased rate. These become discarded eventually for reasons below

they begin finding other kinds of life and mutating the hell out of it using eridium/seraph crystals, in order to create their giant buttfuck squish monsters. These monsters are probably pissed the hell off bc they’re mutated and also probably being attacked by people. so they rampage, killing everything in their path.

the eridians need a way to store the big boys and also take them to the battlefields where they’ll annihilate the enemy, so they create the Traveler and the traveling Vault (which is why there was really nothing of substance in that Vault OKAY TAKE IT). Perhapeth the big flesh monsters mutate more due to being locked inside the Vaults and constantly exposed to eridium/whatever energy is in the other dimension.

Things are going well, and the big flesh monsters help turn the tide of war in favor of the Eridians, until the other party is completely wiped out by what they dubbed the Destroyer. So the eridians decide ‘well, we had our fun, time to put the monsters in their cages and forget about the seraph crystals’.

and most of the big boys, creation and mutation alike, are shoved in their Vaults, guarded by the Guardians so they can’t be released bc of naughty humans. except for one, notably the uncontrollable Destroyer. because it wiped out their enemies, now it wants more, with its insatiable hunger, so it turns its eyes on the Eridians and Nekrotafeyo

sort of explaining why the planet looks like it fucking exploded

the destroyer began to give it the SUCC

but there’s more about that planet

cuz the inside is all glowy and green and you totally know where this is going because i told you im pretty sure the eridians created humanity along with the guardians

i think this is the giant storage unit for all the souls, including the Guardian souls. humanity is depicted being pulled up from the ground in the Vault murals.

lemme explain here

I think nekrotafeyo is where the Guardian souls are stored, like one bigass computer. That’s also, we can assume, where the Eridians got the spark for humanity as well. 

around the game, when u ‘kill’ guardians, you can watch their sparks leave (they’re the red glowy things), they fly upwards and disappear. You can also see blue/green versions of these floating around and not doing anything, notably outside the Rampager’s Vault. 

I am curious if these color differences indicate a difference in wisp type (guardian v human) or if the red means they found another vessel and blue means they chillin. It is interesting to note that the Rampager has the ability to succ the wisps, so its possible its also related to the Destroyer. I mean, its way smaller, but it does IMMEDIATELY start wrecking shit as soon as it leaves the Vault.

anyway there’s more to this, because now we get to talk about ~ghosts~

if u didn’t heed my warning earlier, there are spoilers for guns love and tentacles past this point!! 

DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR TO YOU?????

THIS IS JUST HANGIN GOUT IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM BTW

LITERALLY NEKROTAFEYO

and let’s not forget the Halloween event that showed ghosts are a v real thing in the borderlands and not just on carpenter planet

like super real. and the ‘hecktoplasm’ we get fuels a portal to heck. literally another dimension. that BY THE WAY is powered by a Maliwan device. that BY THE WAY is filled with Maliwan troops.

cuz remember on Nekrotafeyo where there are a bunch of Maliwan soldiers, but they’ve all got the DARK prefix to their name? you know how in the proving ground the dark maliwan troops are fighting side by side with a bunch of Guardians?

something fucky is afoot.

reminds me a lot of the terror effect

ANYWAY

i believe nekrotafeyo is where the eridian stored the sparks for both humans and guardians, that’s where they are coming from, and when nyriad questions how tf the guardians got that spark (stolen like fire of the gods), its because they’re slowly gaining sentience over time, probably relating to how many times they’ve been killed (returned to the core and then back again). because i 100% believe the eridians created the guardians just as an endless, permanent workforce, and the guardians that have been disposed of time and time again are starting to realize that and get SALTY. the reason i do not say that the guardians are gaining sentience with regards to how long they’ve been around is bc there’s such a huge difference between the intelligence of The Watcher and just a normal-ass Guardian that I have to assume their developing sentience has a different trigger.

anyway back to the eridians getting the succ from the destroyer. the eridians realize they can’t just run away from it back to their home dimension, maybe bc its tied to that dimension due to the vault mutations (i vaguely remember typhon mentioning that the destroyer is a dimensional horror) so they have to imprison it somehow. How do they do that? well it is fucking terrified of eridium (when you inject the eye of the Destroyer in TPS, it panics and freaks out), probably due to all the fucked up experiments they did on it, so let’s imprison it using that. 

And once we do that, we should probably get the FUCK outta dodge, bc these science experiments are getting c r a z y, let’s remove ourselves from the experiment and observe from beyond

so what do they do?

they get one of their sirens to operate a Machine they built that will send them back home. all of them, at once. we’re going home, fuckers. seeya. and obviously they will not tell humanity, because humanity will want to come with, like a lost puppy. and they will constantly question the other dimension and pester the eridians about it. humanity is annoying and the eridians have 1 big regret, im sure. 

they’re also leaving the Guardians to do their dirty work for them, keep the vaults closed so that humanity won’t open them and send the Eridian’s pissed off creations after them. Also explains why there are no Guardians for the Vault of the Warrior (is an Eridian construct) and why the Traveler had Guardians inside it but not on the outside (to keep it running). The only Vault that made me do a big think is the Vault of Elpis. But more on that later.

so they tell this siren that the machine is going to kill them all, and use their energy to power to machine (lol) to close the Destroyer in Pandora, giving a perfectly good super powered monkey severe anxiety. 

they also (apparently) do this ‘Forgetting’ thing, which Nyriad mentions, which makes humanity forget that we lived side-by-side with the Eridians and also everything about the Destroyer. which is so DUMB of the Eridians. 

because SERIOUSLY people, if you don’t want your idiot children opening something, the one thing you don’t do is make them FORGET WHAT IS INSIDE OF IT SO THEIR CURIOSITY GETS THE BETTER OF THEM WHEN WHAT’S INSIDE OF IT IS LITERALLY ‘HEY, YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE’. literally pandora’s box. LITERALLY- that’s half the reason I think this is all just one big experiment to them. They don’t give a FUCK about us, actually. they just want to see what will happen. they named the fucking planet Pandora ffs.

like YEAH some people would probably try to open it, to try to kill the Destroyer. but guess WHAT FUCKLENUTS we could have had humans working to keep pandora sealed instead just your cryptic ass guardians. CURIOSITY IS A DANGEROUS THING

and listen. there’s a lot of reasons i believe the machine actually sent the eridians home. even if they actually are just morons and thought the Forgetting was the best thing to do for humanity (scoff)

fdgdsffssfgfsg

all-home

there’s more to this

what are we up to? i stopped writing this like 3 days ago and just came back to it

you guys know the whole story now. im not saying my whole entire backstory is fully correct (like, a lot of it is major speculation) but i do firmly believe these few points:

the eridians are from a higher dimension than our own, and came here for science, or to escape the destroyer

nekrotafeyo is named “first landing”

they have an obvious connection to another dimension thru vaults, eridium, and sirens

the eridians either created or experimented with humanity, eventually leading to Sirens

sirens have this connection to both eridium, vaults, and the other dimension

they have similar powers to some Guardians

on Elpis there are ‘pseudo-Sirens’ created upon exposure to chemical sludge near the Vault

Sirens probably are the result of very exact experimentation, meanwhile these fake Sirens are not

The Leech is able to create ‘Anointed’ who have Siren-like powers and turn to eridium when killed

In bl2, the Lab Rats can see the other dimension when phaselocked by Maya after they were experimented on with eridium by Hyperion

unlike other enemies who only see ‘blue’

every vault monster is the way it is because of the eridians doing shit, including the destroyer

the reason the rampager is so angry and begins destroying everything right away? it was mutated by the eridians/being locked in the Vault. It was stuck in there with a bunch of Guardians, probably either conducting more experiments or there as ‘prison guards’

the destroyer appears frightened of slag in TPS when you inject it, but it also gains power from it- pretty similar to Sirens, and if eridium caused these mutations it could explain the fear

eridium causes LOTS of mutations as we can see throughout the history of the borderlands games. i’ve written 2-3 long-ass posts about this now, i think y’all get the idea lol

terry, badass wildlife, slag/burning psychos, etc

we don’t know how long the destroyer/rampager/etc was exposed to eridium. We’ve only seen (relatively) small doses/exposure times

the eridians lied to Nyriad and are in their home dimension right now, probably laughing at us. or at least like ‘holy shit quick write this down’. this is probably all an experiment to them

I just have this FEELING

so sudden, and new

but really tho

The Overseer basically TELLS us that the Eridians are still out there somewhere

she calls them her masters, talks about how they left the ‘house’, then talks as though they can still see us in the present

Actually you know what, let’s talk all about the Overseer’s lines now because they’re dummy important

copy and pasting this because i forgot...

“vault hunter, I thought you might show up sooner or later. so naughty your species, so curious. the vault of vaults has been opened and IT has been released. prove your worth and I will reveal why the masters made me wait for you”

so IT is most likely the Destroyer. i have the firm belief that Tyreen just ‘slipped its chains’, as Nyriad puts it in her log right before the fight

like r u seriously telling me the eater of worlds is the size of a single story house lmao

NO

bigg

‘why the masters made me wait for you’ “MADE ME” I get the feeling she is here against her will, until her mission is completed

and that mission is to see which humans can pass the trials/the execute the trials

why? we’ll get to that. but she even hints that the reward may not be what we want.

“naughty humans have opened the vault of vaults but the masters will determine who is at fault. until next time, warrior”

so the second time she references her ‘masters’

Vault of Vaults is the vault of the destroyer. which is interesting to me. I guess it makes sense, is a big vault with other, tinier vaults on the surface.

I really wish we got an explanation as to what the Vault of the Architects was. might even explain the pyramid key ;-; fuckin pyramid key

so when i first heard this i thought there was some sorta ‘the masters will determine who is at fault’ rift between humans (the calypso twins or the vault hunters)

but now after learning more i realize this is probably between humans and guardians

are humans at fault for being naughty, or are the guardians for failing their only purpose?

i get the feeling the eridians will blame the guardians. the less favorite child :(

“long ago there was a brief spark, the first vault was opened, a light in the dark. a riddle, yes? perhaps it will unravel next time, hunter”

sooo im pretty bad with riddles

either this takes place long before our recollection of events, or this takes place around when typhon opened the first vault on promethea

what i think this means is possibly the beginning of Guardians gaining sentience

nyriad describes the smarter guardians as ones having a ‘spark’. i believe this is what the Overseer is referencing here- their gaining consciousness

THAT, orrrrr the guardians saw themselves fail at their only task and began to realize they could do more with their lives

failure breeds success, after all

“so, you’ve returned. persistent, yes. or stubborn? or both? are you so desperate to prove yourself?”

the differences between humanity and the guardians. humanity has strong desires/emotions, the guardians don’t

or, at least, they didn’t.

“we were created for one purpose by our masters- and we couldn’t even do that right (laughs). but don’t blame us! when a cog breaks, point your finger at the artificer, not the cog! are you a cog, Vault hunter, or an artificer? Or both? prove yourself worthy.”

lots to digest here

one purpose - to keep the Vaults closed

the guardians recognize they are only cogs in a machine, that they’re only tools, and it seems that they’re becoming bitter

‘point your finger at the artificer’ obviously blame the Eridians, not the guardians

‘are you a cog... or an artificer. or both?” i think is very important. i think this is another hint that humanity was created by the eridians

‘or an artificer, or both’ showing that humanity can step out from the shadow of whatever the eridians planned for them and make their own choices/destinies. the guardians can’t. ... yet.

“pity us not, though the world has been broken. those who sleep will soon be awoken. not long now, seeker.”

‘though the world has been broken’ - either bc the Eridians left them/the Vaults have been opened

more importantly “those who sleep will soon be awoken”

what i think this means, personally:

Graveward is a vault monster that appeared deceased (already killed or just died of natural causes) when we got there

but it was combined with a bunch of ship parts

this is confirmed both by the art book and by just LOOKING AT HIM lmao

these ship parts are likely a way to resurrect him by allowing the guardians to posses him

guardians are biomechanical constructs, so it makes sense that they would begin scavenging ship parts from eden-6 to fit to graveward

so they can have a stronger body to pilot

something had to be pulling those ships in to crash

also, this means BALEX didn’t do anything wrong lol

when you get to the vault, tannis is confused, because there should be a vault monster, but there’s only guardians

that is, until you kill Grave and Ward

they (and a bunch of other Guardian souls) then possess Graveward, bringing him to life- or, awakening him

what i think this means: the guardians are going to start possessing more and more stuff

why this means ‘those who sleep will soon be awoken’ possibly vault monsters who are killed aren’t actually killed, they’re just put in a sleeping state and the guardians will be using their tech to control them with guardian souls

the guardians stuck in that big ol computy machine somewhere (god pls let it be nekrotefeyo) are ‘sleeping’ and by taking control of those vault monsties, they will be able to wake up and pilot their own bodies

that is, there are too many souls, too little bodies, so they need more vessels

tl;dr: MORE GUARDIANS

also can we talk about how Sirens can absorb guardian souls pls?? bc what the FUCK tannis

ugh how fuckin’ creepy would it be if the eridians made the fleshy Vault Monsters and used the guardian souls to puppeteer them

seriously though, Tannis absorbed a bunch of Guardian souls why are we not talking about this

how was that not an important plot point

is tannis going to be okay?? i love tannis. please don’t hurt her. are guardian souls just pure energy?? what does it mean??? GEARBOX-

“the eridians were our masters, but we failed them. they gave the order then silence. they VANISHED. such is our fate, Vault Hunter, server to a master who has left the house so long ago. prove to me that you deserve an introduction.”

i think its really important that the Overseer doesn’t say the Eridians are DEAD. instead, she says they just ‘vanished’ or ‘left the house’

i think this further proves they’re still out there somewhere. probably watching over us like creeps

literally from the new DLC... come on. COME ONNNN

also confirmation the eridians are the ‘masters’ the Overseer is referring to all the time

side note i have the game sitting open on my other screen and wainwright just asked someone to drink him under the table what the f-

it does sound like they’ve been forgotten as even servants to the Eridians because she specifically says “were” and “but we failed them” probably meaning the Eridians were their masters UNTIL the guardians failed to keep the Great Vault from being opened

though i do think “prove to me that you deserve an introduction” is interesting

like do we not deserve one yet? well, not until we complete the trials she’s supposed to test us with

“we were supposed to guard the Great Jail. but no quarter for servants who fail. but servant, that is not quite right. ‘Prisoner’. that is what i am. Until next time, adventurer.”

kinda repeating what we learned from the above quote

‘Great Jail’ they put the Destroyer in evil baby jail for his crimes

no quarter for servants who fail - yeah the eridians are like ‘wow you guys suck, fuck you guys’

‘prisoner, that is what i am’. the guardians are all stuck in their roles. they’re trapped here

“a final chance to prove yourself. but will your reward be what you desire? a prisoner in a cell staring out at the fathoms of a sleeping universe. after a time, how would you know if you were prisoner or master? consider this while you prove yourself one last time.”

‘will your reward be what you desire’? we learn that the reward is actually being a guardian, so... it’s not great, if our deductions hold any water

‘a prisoner in a cell staring out at the fathoms of a sleeping universe’ - what the Overseer probably sees her position as guardian of the trials as a prisoner- same with all the other guardians stuck watching over the Vaults

i do also think this may be in reference to the fact she’s stuck in this dimension with us while the eridians ran away

“I am a prisoner, but you, vault hunter? what are you? hunter, warrior, hero? no matter what name i use, you return to prove yourself time and time again. but prove it to whom, i wonder? perhaps you seek a greater audition”

‘hunter, warrior, hero’ note she calls us by a bunch of titles throughout her greetings/goodbyes. but we are not satisfied by any of them

clearly we’re not proving ourselves to HER, since she questions who we are trying to prove it to

‘greater audition’ is likely in front of the ‘masters’ who are the eridians. remember, we have to prove to her first that we are worthy of an audience

“it is done and my masters have taken note. would you like to know what they told me right before they vanished? ‘beware the vault hunters, they will take your kind’s place’. now i am free, and you are chained. until next time, guardian

the eridians know what we’ve done- now humanity takes the place of the guardians

“beware the Vault Hunters, they will take your kind’s place” seems like a pretty fucked up thing to say

but also, more proof the Eridians knew what the FUCK was up, kyle

humanity is just guardians 2: electric boogaloo

the trails were ultimately a test to see if we were up to the task

and now that humanity (or, at least, the Vault Hunters) has taken the place of the normal Guardians, the others are free to do... something

what... i wonder.

i do think it is interesting that the Overseer is pretty morally gray here. like, she’s trapped here to oversee the trials for however long the Eridians have been gone, to see if humans are truly the successors to the Guardians

she obviously doesn’t want to be here, calling herself a prisoner

she even warns us that the reward won’t be something we want- i imagine she might not exactly be able to tell us WHY we will not like it, she is being watched by her masters (the Eridians)

like, i get WHY she doesn’t tell us what’s going to happen. if i were trapped there, I’d do the same thing

but here’s the thing

since we are (we assume) fully squishy and not mechanical in any way, we still have our free will (unlike, we can assume, the guardians)

so we’re not literally trapped in one job forever- we can choose whatever we want to do

so WHAT exactly do i think the guardians are going to do? well, they’ve got an entire army’s worth of souls, they’re resurrecting dead Vault Monsters, and they can modify their bodies now to become more weapon-like

what do I think is happening? The Guardians are preparing for war with the Eridians- they want to destroy their creators, and with us becoming the new guardians, there’s this loophole that allows the old Guardians to finally, FINALLY do whatever they want

(Is Fl4k supposed to be foreshadowing for this? Yeah, I believe they are!!)

+ also before i forget: the entire thing about there being a literal Fallen Guardian we have to kill

i believe this has to do with the fact when you kill it, it drops money. since we can assume the trials are crafted/designed by the Eridians, we can assume the Fallen Guardians are apart of that design as well. It drops money, which probably shows how it’s become corrupted compared to the other guardians. it has desires (collecting wealth). Since the Guardians are inspired by angels (especially in TPS), it’s probably supposed to be a direct callback to that

alright so I think you all are probably like CRUDDY THE PRE-SEQUEL

and like, yeah, that’s what i’ve been building up to the whole time

The Watcher!!!

“War is coming, and you’re going to need all the Vault Hunters you can get”

Let’s just look at the Watcher’s actions throughout TPS and Tales (well, her inactions in Tales, as well as 3)

In tps, the Watcher brings Zarpedon to the Vault, allows her to see the future, and creates the Lost Legion

so we all assume that yes, she’s trying to stop the Elpis Vault (and, by extension, Pandora) from being opened

but here is the thing. the lil thing. the BIG thing actually.

she stops us from killing zarps in the BEGINNING of the game

in the middle-ish when we kill zarp for realsies, she is NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Zarp lets Jack know where the Vault actually is and little miss alien face IS NOWHERE AROUND

when you are inside eleseer, lilith mentions that the Guardians there actually let her through, like they WANTED her to be there

now let’s remember Lilith’s actions in tps (and remember that she is IN NO WAY at fault here. jack is a dickbag. you try to tell me this is lily’s fault and i’ll kick your shins into your asshole)

while jack is seeing the future about the Vault of the Warrior, she punches the treasure of Eleseer into his face. this cuts off the vision, so unlike Zarps all Jack sees is that he opens the Vault of the Warrior. Nothing about the Destroyer destroying everything.

and still, the Watcher is nowhere to be found.

So Jack opens the Vault of the Warrior, Lilith learns she can activate the Vault Map, the events of Tales happens, and Lilith has Athena tied up and is about to shoot her

WHEN FINALLY

FUCKING. FINALLY.

THE WATCHER SHOWS UP

and tells us that ‘we’re going to need all the vault hunters we can get’

now let’s TAKE A STEP BACK HERE

obviously. OBVIOUSLY.

this is pretty backwards from what the Guardians are actually meant to do: keep the Vaults closed. If she wanted us to NOT open the Vault of the Destroyer, she probably should’ve just come right out and told us what’s up. 

no, I think she 100% wanted the events to happen in the way they did.

Because remember, after this, SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AGAIN!!!

not in tales, where she could have stopped the Vault of the Traveler from opening (in fact she could have let Athena die and lowered the team’s chances of defeating the Vault Monster with whatever canon choices there are), not in 3 when she could have prevented the twins from doing any number of things they did, not to give advice to lily on sanc-iii, not during Commander Lily (even though she’s mentioned briefly) she did FUCK ALL

she did J A C K S H I T

it’s because she wanted this to happen. she WANTS the vaults open.

why? well, see above. The Guardians want the Vault Monsters all killed so they can resurrect them as big boy guardians

and that war she’s talking about? it wasn’t the war in bl3. That’s why she never shows her face. she’s talking about war with the Eridians. 

Which is probably bl4.

alright im tired. eridians bad. guardians okay-ish. they might try to kill us all and use our bodies as vessels, who knows.

anywaY this was all an elaborate plan for me to explain the backstory of h2o au and why magic is real in the borderlands universe and why they decide to FIGHT- [gets dragged off computer by a cane]

wow this is a 36 page document, why can’t i be this enthusiastic about school??

[suupernovalight]

Addictive Drug

Ushijima W. x Reader

Masterlist || Previous || Next

9) Trapped In

Warning: mention of attempted suicide, gun violence, and torture

The Day Before

“Sir!” A truck driver said. “There’s something I need you to inspect”

A man with blonde hair and a cigarette groaned and got up from sitting. He then walked up to the truck driver and grabbed him by the collar.

“You know not to annoy me while I’m taking a smoke.” The man then blew the cigarette smoke into the truck drivers face. “You know what happens when I inform Tadashi about your disturbance”

“Boss” the truck driver said. “Please, just listen to me for once” he coughed.

The blonde haired man dropped the driver and turned around. He was waiting for the driver to talk.

“There’s something unusual that I found on my truck. I need you to come look” the driver said regaining his breathing.

The man nodded and watched as the driver left the room. When he was alone, he dropped and put out his cigarette with a sigh.

“Tadashi... why would you put me, Haruki Hadeiko in charge of this drug dump?”

~~~

When Haruki got out of his office to see what the driver was talking about, he immediately went to the truck to inspect it.

After checking for anything unusual, he found it. There sat a small but noticeable black... tracker? Could it be that the driver was followed?

“Driver 086” Haruki said.

“Yes sir?” The driver replied stepping up.

Haruki looked back at the tracker, then at Haruki. “Were you followed?”

The driver gulped in fear. “I don’t... I don’t know sir.”

Haruki squinted his eyes in annoyance. He then turned back at the tracker and tried to pull off the tracker. When it wouldn’t budge, Haruki got mad and kicked the truck.

“086, let me ask you again...” Haruki’s voice booming. “Were... you followed?”

The poor driver knew he was dead. “I heard someone around my truck but I dismissed it thinking it was nothing but an animal”

“Why didn’t you go check?” Haruki asked walking up to him.

“I-“ the driver stuttered. “I did check sir... nothing was there...” the driver backed up a few. “It was dark and I couldn’t see”

Haruki laughed a bit then reached into his suit to grab something. The other drivers listening quickly minded their business in fear that they would be next.

“Y’know 086... I actually kinda liked you.” Haruki said putting his hand on the drivers cheek. His eyes then grew dark. “But you’re the reason for this mess”

Haruki then quickly got out his gun and shot the driver. Dead right in the center of his forehead. The bang rang through the other drivers ears. As 086 got shot, he fell to the floor dead.

“Everyone else, you better clean up this mess and get back to work” Haruki said blowing his gun. “Or all of you will be next”

Present Day (from the last chapter)

“Ushijima...” you whispered while looking around. Not planning to take your eyes off of the many men pointing guns at you and your partner.

“Y/n...” Ushijima replied.

After some silence, you broke it. “We are so fucked.” You then smirked. “Might as well make the best of it” you said reaching into your suit and grabbing something.

You then threw it on the ground very quickly. Everything around you and Ushijima turned smoky. You heard many people coughing around you. You quickly grabbed Ushijima’s hand and brought him to a place to hide for a bit so they can make a plan.

“How did you have a smoke bomb on hand?” Ushijima asked you.

You dusted off your suit and smiled. “I keep some around me sometimes, it’s like a plan B” you then looked at your gun. “We gotta kill these men, we are dancing with the reaper”

“Dancing with the reaper?” Ushijima repeated.

“Just follow my lead” you winked while getting up and shooting at the men who were oddly confused with the smoke.

Ushijima also did the same, he wasn’t to sure of your plan though. Anything could go wrong. You on the other hand, was overly confident. You were sure that your plan would work.

Bang.... bang... bang

The shots of the guns were getting louder and more faster. You were slowly falling behind in your rhythm of “dancing”. That was until Ushijima stepped up.

He grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes. You looked back and saw how they sparkled. This isn’t a fairy tale though.

“Get down!” Ushijima yelled pushing you behind a metal pillar in the facility.

“Ow bitch.” You groaned. “That hurt?” You said looking at him. He was on top of you. His knees held him up still. You could feel your cheeks heating up and butterflies forming in your stomach.

“I’m sorry y/n” Ushijima said looking at you. “You were about to get hit” Ushijima then got up from being on top of you and shot at the workers.

You were still kind of shocked about what just happened. This didn’t change the fact that you were in battle right now though. When you snapped out of your love trance, you connected with Tendō from your ear piece.

“Tendō... can you hear me?” You said over the ear piece.

“Loud and clear y/n, why are there gun shots?” Tendō responded worridly.

“They are shooting at me and Ushijima. I need you to drive to the nearest exit and wait there. Me and Ushijima will try to be there as soon as possible.” You said shooting your gun at the workers.

“Got you ma’am, I’ll be waiting” Tendō said cutting off.

As you and Ushijima shot one worker down, 2 more would replace that dead one. Bullet after bullet came after you guys. You wouldn’t be surprised if you got hit.

The smoke around you and everyone else was clearing up. This was a bad sign because the workers could get an open shot on you. Even worse, they could be getting Ushijima.

You reached for another smoke bomb and was about to throw it when Ushijima stopped you.

“That isn’t necessary. They are almost already gone. Some flee’d others stayed to die” Ushijima said. “I promise we will make it out of here safe.”

You gulped and nodded. You then put back the smoke bomb and continue shooting.

“KILL THEM YOU FAILURES!” The man you were trying to capture said. “I CAN NOT LET TADASHI KNOW ABOUT THIS...”

You stopped. The name Tadashi made you. You hated that name. He was part of the reason why you are here today.

“Tadashi...” you mumbled. “TADASHII” you yelled getting out from your hiding spot and shooting at every darn worker you saw.

“Y/N CONTAIN YOURSELF” Ushijima yelled backing you up.

The more anger that surged in you, the more workers that died. Ushijima was slightly terrified of you. It was like you lost control.

“Tadashi... Tadashi... TADASHI” you yelled as you continued to shoot.

The final of the workers dropped dead to the ground. Now that was only left was the man that caused this chaos. The man who was pointing a gun towards...

...his head.

Your eyes widened in shock. You were about to run towards him to make him stop but Ushijima was up ahead of you. He punched the guy making him loose grasp of the gun towards his head.

“What are you thinking!?” Ushijima yelled.

Finally, you could see the man’s features. He had blonde hair, his eyes were a glossy blue color. You blinked a few times then ran towards the guy.

“Tadashi...” you mumbled. “What do you know about him?” You asked the blonde haired guy.

“Why... why do you want to know...” the blonde haired said trying to grab his gun but Ushijima stepped on his hand.

“Tadashi... Hayashi... are they... your boss?” You asked kneeling down to see the man’s eyes.

“Why yes now let me go and pass on because I can’t bare to go through their torture again!” The man wailed.

Your eyes widened. “Torture...” you repeated. “What’s your name?”

The blonde haired guy squirmed but answered. “Haruki... Hadeiko”

You scoffed. “They used you...” you whispered standing up and grabbing the gun Haruki once had.

“Y/n... who are you talking about?” Ushijima asked.

You looked at Ushijima. “I’ll tell you soon... for now, let’s arrest this man.” You said looking at Haruki.

Haruki smirked. He then looked behind you. You quickly turned around to see someone holding what seemed to be a bottle.

“Y/N” Ushijima yelled grabbing you and covering you with his body.

The sound of glass shattering filled your ears. It was then followed by smoke. Was it your smoke bomb? You didn’t know because Ushijima put his hand over your nose and mouth.

“Dont... breathe in...” Ushijima coughed while shooting at the guy who dropped the bottle. “Go towards the exit... I’ll get Haruki.”

“Ushijima what about-“ you were then cut off by Ushijima yelling at you to go.

You nodded and ran towards the exit, as you escaped, you saw Tendō waiting outside.

“We got the culprit. Start the car” you said.

Tendō nodded and did as you say. Meanwhile, Ushijima grabbed Haruki who was again, trying to commit. Ushijima thankfully knocked out Haruki before he could though. More smoke surrounded him. Ushijima quickly grabbed Haruki and ran out of the exit with him.

As he saw Tendō in the car, Ushijima quickly ran towards the trunk and put Haruki inside. As that happened, Ushijima went into the drivers seat to drive.

“I’ll be driving y/n’s motorcycle. She says she feel tired” Tendō said getting out. “I’ll meet you guys back at the agency” he said getting on the motorcycle and driving away.

You got into Ushijima’s car and buckled yourself up. You had a bunch of scratches on your face and arms but you didn’t care.

“Drive.” You said. Ushijima did as you ordered.

~~~

As you two drove back to the agency, the ride back was very quiet. 4 hours of this made you not want to be with him.

“Listen... I-“ you tried saying but Ushijima cut you off.

“Who is Tadashi?” Ushijima asked.

You looked out the window. “It’s none of your business”

Ushijima’s eye brows lifted a bit. “It’s my business when you go crazy with bloodlust yelling his name.”

You blushed in embarrassment. “Listen it’s nothing. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

“Ok...” Ushijima started. “What about that news paper I showed you.”

Your eyes widened. “The... news paper?”

Ushijima nodded. “I have it in my pocket. I brought it with us so we could talk-“

“It’s my info. It’s none of yours” you cut in. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready.” You said sighing. “Just drive back.”

Ushijima groaned but did as you say.

~~~

You guys were now almost there. Ever since bringing up Tadashi, you’ve been cautious of what you were saying.

“That smoke...” you said.

Ushijima looked at you. “What about it.”

“Why did you cover my nose and mouth back there” you said looking into his eyes.

Ushijima quickly looked away. “It could have been harmful and... I didn’t want you to breathe it in.”

You nodded. “Thanks for that...” you said smiling.

“No... problem...” Ushijima mumbled.

He then looked into your eyes. You guys were now at the agency. As Ushijima parked his car, he was becoming odd.

“Y/n... I-“ Ushijima was then stopped by him groaning in pain.

“Ushijima??” You said grabbing his arm. “Are you okay?”

No answer. You only earned more groans from Ushijima. This worried you deeply.

“USHIJIMA?” You said shaking him. “Hold on! I’ll get you to your apartment”

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