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I like to think that Kingsley doesnt hear from Jester in three days and assumes that she's died because nothing else could keep her from sending messages.
So he goes to port in Nicodranas to make sure she's ok and finds out about Fjorester engagement and Jester is complaining about not being able to message everyone about it.
Kingsley asks why she can't and Beau and Caleb both deadpan "Moon's fucked. Magic broken."
"ITS WHAT"
"Yeah Ludinus Daleth blew up the moon amd now magic doesn't work."
"I....... have so many questions."
"Indeed. Let's talk, Pirate Man. We've missed you."
aHHH the thought of King realizing something is very wrong because he hasn't heard from Jester makes my heart hurt. Especially since he's always been a bit protective of her as Molly. And after watching Lucien kill both Jester and Caleb? I think it's made Tealeaf especially protective of them--
I NEED HIM TO HEAR ABOUT FJORJESTER ANNOUNCEMENT SO BAD!! I'M SO SAD HE MISSED IT--he'd be a menace about it, but also so happy for them. Also, "Pirate Man" is so cute,,
I really hope we get to see another Nein oneshot soon with Kingsley--especially one where they're still dealing with the solstice. Fingers crossed that Taliesin at least mentions what King's been up to in the next 4 sided dive 👀
#cr spoilers#I simply think of king got radiosilence from jester hed feel compelled to come find her IMMEDIATELY--#especially when Weird Stuff starts happening with the sky--#AND EVEN MORE SO IF HE HAS ANY INKLING FROM YASHA WHAT BEAU AND CALEB HAVE BEEN UP TO--#he nearly lost them all once before#i dont think hed ever take that chance again--#kingsley tealeaf ...please come home soon--
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mythborning in the year of our lord 2024
do we think about how ryan and aster probably never fully accepted connor being dead. after the first day reset and shit i mean. theyd go to bed, silently hoping tomorrow theyd wake up and itd be like that day never happened, hell maybe they get set back again to the day of the big game. and they both just. they dont want to think of the idea that connors gone.
asters the one who trys to fight for him back. she makes up new reasons and such as to why hes not gone, ways they could possibly bring him back (it doesnt help that in this state she sounds so much like him about his brother). she looks through her dads artifact collections, seeing if any would make sense in any way to bring him back to life, losing care of its cost. she even tries to find his book or something of its nature, but finding that, if even possible, doesnt help because its a book made to kill not bring to life again. i dont imagine asters religious, not in the sense that she doesnt think gods are real (one is her mother), but that she never felt a pull to worship one. for the first time in her life, she tries to pray. she prays to her mother, reciting every word and performing every detail, squishing the tears from her eyes because god she cant let herself be seen so broken by this boy infront of a divine being and sure its the first time shes tried reaching out like this but she just needs one chance to talk to her. of course, whether or not it works and she sees her, she doesnt revive him. the day doesnt reset and he comes back to life. and somewhere inside her she knows this couldnt have worked, shes the daughter of a goddess and knows the balance of mortality and immortality. shes known he was gone the moment the rats attacked. thats why she fought so hard, because the small amounts of divine energy she held surely could beat what has been written by those above her just this once, just for him.
ryan doesnt let himself break. he has a floatball team to be on and an act to keep up and a friend who needs him. he doesnt have the ability to stop and let himself process how hed join in the bullying of "con-nerd" and how he gave ryan that hug before going to that gym and getting to see the vulnerable sides of connor when he talked about or even showed them (he probably showed him his friends) his brother. sure, he may know what its like to have lost family and connor was close in a way similar (might be a small shipper of those two. what of it. /lh they can be friends too ofc) and now hes gone and hell never get to hear him call ryan stupid when hes wearing his goofy grin or does something actually dumb. ryan, whos meant to be strong, let his friend get crushed by rats. and he wont break. he'll just tell gary to fuck off when hes caught tearing up after a floatball game because he had to look in the stands and know that connors not gonna be there selling hotdogs again. he can just put another lie in his act when hes looking in these history textbooks and say he wasnt thinking of olden magic usages and how they might be able to bring him back, closing his eyes so he doesnt gaze on them.
it takes ryan grabbing asters wrists and looking her dead in the eyes and telling her "i dont fucking like it, but connors gone. you know it. i know it. this is just gonna hurt you more. please. i cant lose one more person." it takes her looking in ryans eyes to see how theyre tired and dried out and his muscles seem to instinctively hold up a smile and how his grips just slightly too strong and yet he just is so tired and wants more then anything his best friend back. his breaths getting shakey and louder and he starts sniffling and she just grabs him down and they become sobbing messes of kids on the floor because god fucking damn it connors gone and nothings magically fixing this and nothing will be the same ever again.
it takes them a bit to figure out where his gravestone is. its empty. they should have honored him sooner, they know it, but they just wanted to hope that it wasnt just connors memory they had left living.
#jrwi spoilers#jrwi#jrwi podcast#jrwishow#jerwee supreme#jrwi mythborne spoilers#jrwi mythborne#aster jrwi#ryan selucreh#connor connors jrwi#aster aeliana jrwi#ITS BEEN A HOT SEC SINCE IVE MYTHBORNED EAT WELL CHATTERS /silly#tw death
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thinking about davesprite. i blame you /lh but anyways. any hcs about him that you have Not been able to post because they just. weren't ever topical.
so many. so so so fucking many. i try to keep sdd relatively close to canon characterisation wise but,,,,, fuck i have ideas
this ones just a straight up headcanon thats barely tied to canon but gender apathetic/agender any pronouns davesprite,, big fan of this one in combination with t4t pepsisprite (dsprite is junes birdfriend)
this could be a whole rant to itself but i have. so many thoughts on davesprites relationship with bro and how fucked up it is. to make what could be a whole ass essay short and to just focus on one tiny fucked up aspect of it,,, davesprite associating pain and injury with his brother but in a 'positive' way, because him being hurt has always been associated with 'positive' memories of bro for him (bro training him 'because he cares', bro helping him stitch himself up after a particularly bad strife when he was too young to do it himself, getting his literal wing torn off while bro died protecting him,,, man).
semi related to above but he does exhibit some bird behaviours even if he refuses to admit it - the big one is pulling out his feathers when hes stressed (again, vaguely related to above - davesprite getting stressed about bro and pulling out too many feathers, and that pain simultaneously making things worse *and* calming him down)
my headcanons for a post game dsprite where he somehow makes it to the creation of the universe are either 'he makes it through and gets given a real body and the ability to age :))' or. well. hes a game construct right. hes just. hes an npc. hes meant to be part of the game. ...what if it doesnt let him leave. what if going through the door completely wipes his data and hes just. gone. what if hes forced to choose between being stuck in the session alone forever or disappearing from existence permanently. (this was actually the basis of a fic idea lmao)
as much as i love davesprite dream bubble content.... i dont think hed make it into the bubbles. hes not a person, right. fuck if the *guardians* dont make it then what chance does he have
i dont think he sleeps much.
[slaps davesprite] this sad boy can fit so many identity crises into him
how does he know hes himself. like. how does he know hes not just code programmed to think hes dave and act like dave. sure hes clinging to that old identity that he isnt allowed to have anymore, but what if that was never him? who is he, then?
jesus christ these got depressing
bird mating rituals,, he gives john cool rocks and shiny things and gets really flustered about it because 'holy shit im being so obvious' and johns just like 'haha cool! :B'
he gives davesprite like. a shiny bit of plastic one day as a joke and davesprite gets way too happy about it.
dave and davesprite brothers is so fucking real. to me.
less a headcanon, more a thought i cant get out of my head. davesprite literally keeping his sword in his chest is. fuck man. thats something. the only way he can use it is by taking it out which has gotta fucking hurt,,,, violence and fighting hurting himself just as much as it hurts everyone else
i like drawing post battleship dsprite with the missing wing and stomach hole still because im gonna be so real i dont think sburb would heal that. who cares right. it isnt threatening him at all - sure it hurts a lil but he could get used to it, and it isnt impacting his role, and like. hes just a sprite. who cares
^^ and if it *can* be healed, i still dont think it would by then. look man im just a sucker for emotional and mental healing being represented physically,,, the only time they heal is when he finally gives himself a break and lets himself rest and lower his guard and heal emotionally
again this isnt really a headcanon it just haunts me. davesprite is/was a knight of time right. both serving (and sacrificing for) time and using time as a weapon. thinking about how weapons can both protect and injure, or even kill. thinking about how davesprite probably feels responsible for all those deaths in the doomed timeline. thinking about how he essentially killed himself by travelling back. thinking about how he did it to protect.
...davesprite thinking about what would happen if dave died permanently. hed never do anything. hed never let that happen. but... the timeline needs a dave, right. and davesprite would still be there. hed never do anything to make it happen. but what if that was his chance.
i love the idea that dsprite acts more like dirk and hal acts more like dave (mirroring their text colours). i just think its fun
yall ever think about how the shades john gave dave were so important that when he was literally recreated, the universe still gave them to him? he wasnt wearing then when he was prototyped. because i do. i think about it all the time.
new pesterchum handle. turnedtechGodhead is the only one ive thought of atm but im gonna make more i stg (vaguely related: hals pesterchum is turingTested. that is all)
i swear to god theres more rattling around in there but i cant reach it and this is logn enough so :thumbsup:
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Midnight for spence, secret for Nance, wound for raph-nce (I had to keep the bit going)
ALRIGHT sorry i had to wait till i could be somewhere with wifi to do this
oc asks: not so nice edition!
Midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?
changes over the course of parable actors. before meeting up with the brigade, spencer has a lot of anxieties about his parable, nightmares about endless looping hallways and being alone and not mattering to anyone. nightmares about waking back up there specifically, all the hard work hes put into becoming his own person erased like it never happened. he uh, did a lot of late night wandering whenever it kept him up, or drank himself unconscious. not good!
after basically adopting gidget, his anxieties turned towards 'oh god oh fuck this person needs someone put together to help them and im a mess, this is a mistake, im gonna fuck them up irreversibly and just continue to traumatize this poor traumatized kid and that is the LAST thing i want'
things get a lot better for awhile there, until, of course, the end of reset the actors, when his fucking narrator returns and now spencer needs to handle this and deal with this and figure things out and he cant impose this bastard on other people, he can take care of it himself, and god hes so annoying and awful but hes too pathetic to just drop off on the street and wipe my hands of the whole thing, and id feel like a fucking fraud if i didnt give him a second chance but now the nightmares from when i first left the parable are back and theyre mixing with new ones where nansen somehow figures out how to go back and drags me back and it was all for nothing, ill never see the others again, oh god-
so uh. yeah. he quit drinking for awhile there for gidget, but nancys return marks a return of his alcoholism (for a bit. they all get their shit together again thank god and spencer never, ever again touches the stuff except for a Single glass of champagne/wine at a particularly fancy dinner or party, maybe once a year at most)
Secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?
nancy admits this to dr joy one session, and no one else.
when he first saw spencer in the falling-apart parable the coalition had made their base, when the rescue attempt for the narrator was in full swing, when hed spent years with a slowly dawning horror at what the other versions of him had done, and what that corrupted parable leading the charge was doing,
he was so, so close. seconds away, even. from grabbing spencer and running and not stopping until they were back, safe, in their own parable
he would have done it, if spencer hadnt interrupted him to demand his help in finding gidget
Wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?
raph is a HUUUUGE drama queen and makes a mountain out of a molehill to cope. the more dramatic she is about something though, the less serious it actually is
but when shes really, actually hurt, she tends to retreat. hide it. put on a smile and act like nothings wrong, what are you talking about? this goes for both physical and emotional hurts, too; shell work on a twisted ankle or a pulled muscle until the pain is literally too much for her to even move, and keep forging onwards when her head is a disaster zone until the depression is so thick and murky she cant see a way out of bed in the morning
dont think shes had any suuuper serious physical injuries, maybe needed stitches from falls on set or casts for fractured bones. shes pretty hardy, even if she can be kind of a clutz
emotionally, the worst shes been would have to be... hm. sometime maybe a few months before the brigade formed, i can see her having started her transition months prior. shes been part of this theater/drag group for almost a year now, surrounded by people so, so much like her that love her so much. helping her figure her way out in the world, and in herself. odette dotes on her, is supportive, helps her get on hormones and become more comfortable with herself.
estrogen therapy comes with increased mood swings, heightened emotions, and raph already has bipolar disorder. she feels so much all the time, and the hormones make that stronger, and one day she realizes all the good she has and how different everything is and shes faced in the mirror with the face of someone she can actually love-
and she suddenly feels like a fraud. shes a fake. shes not human, shes not one of these girls. she was made to press buttons, was made as a vessel for the players enjoyment of a game that wasnt even fun anymore, none of them had to go through what she did and she cant even tell them, shes crazy, shes nothing, her narrator was right-
big bad mood swing. bed bound for weeks. raph loses a lot of weight, burns some bridges when the only energy spikes she gets are to yell at the people she loves with all her heart (those bridges reform, i promise, amends are made and therapy helps all). its bad, and the only reason she didnt fully waste away was that odette never once gave up on her, despite rows and no responses.
raph still feels so terribly guilty about this, but has worked to be at peace with herself over it since then
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inanimate insanity ramble incoming ⚠️⚠️⚠️ rewatching ep 6 (invitational) I'm really sad of where Balloon and Nickel's relationship is going because I was really rooting on them becoming friends. And ep 6 is such a good ep to think abt how they could have become friends without it being too out of left field
Nickel is still such an awful guy this episode, the entire challenge is to make people laugh but as TK will point out all he's doing is just snapping back and making people upset, he hasn't lost that side of him-
but then theres that scene where Balloon's on the verge of panicking because Bot and Floory are goin for him. so Nickel forces him out of participating by making him laugh rather than him losing to Bot and Floory. and theres too ways you can take this, Nickel wanting to get a sense of control out of this- Or as I see it, more as a sort of compassion from him?
Season 2 Nickel wouldve been badgering Balloon for this- Balloon would lose and Nickel would blame him for it, and maybe that's why Balloon is so panicky. Because he's the last one in it's all on him. if they lose its his fault. but for once Nickel sees Balloon actually having a hard time and sticks up for him-
granted you know it was a little... self-centered that it had to be him getting Balloon out of the competition rather than bein like its alright dude! but I saw it as a sort of first step? It's realistic for him and his character, and I thought that this would lead up to Nickel kind of realizing he liked Balloon as a friend! I mean he even calls him his friend at the end of the ep.
and maybe this was originally their plan (AE), that Balloon was going to give Nickel a second chance. Cuz that's all Balloon ever wanted was a second chance. but now I feel like in the more recent episode they are backtracking?? Nickel refusing to apologize, and turning on Ballon again. maybe they think now its better if Balloon shldnt forgive Nickel and that's why Nickel suddenly turns on Balloon again.
Nickel struggled to apologize to even TK, in ep 5, and I thought that would lead up to him realizing there are bigger things than his ego and hed apologe to Balloon-- but now it sounds like Balloon never even liked or wanted to be friends with him in the first place???
I dont even know if I think Balloon should forgive Nickel anymore but its sad bc I really liked their friendship
idk ! maybe i'm thinking too far ahead I wont know where their relationship is heading until one of them finally gets eliminated
this is not the face of someone who "never wanted to work with you again" Balloon has moments where they get along genuinely. i actually hate that quote idk
not that i think its bad balloon finally stuck up to Nickel but i dont like his reasoning being he's kind of been leading Nickel along??? BC BALLOON IS NOT IN THE WRONG.
#is it too ooc to want a nickel apology??? no bc there has to be a reason they paired them together as a team AGAIN right???#inanimate insanity#ii balloon#ii nickel#rambling#talking#idk if this makes any reasonable sense maybe i am delusional
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hello
i need to talk abt my stupid playlist
ignore that its youtube i dont like spotify. its songs that remind me of the half lifers so not really a character playlist but i have Reasons that id like to expadn on (under the cut its so long)
goinog from bottom to top oldest to newest (ill probably edit this later on..muhahaha) (PS every barney here is blue shift exclusive idk a thing abt hl2 guy...)
more than a feeling: i found my first ever boston song on guitar hero arcade and i feel like gordon would be rly into guitar hero. this is repeated many times. also it j reminds me of them
dont you forget abt me: ok im starting to kinda hate this song but it was the original them song too......i forgot why (it was also in one of my gmods i think)
take a chance on me: i posted this stupid barney image to this song & it stuck so much also PLEASE banrey JUST ONE CHANCE GIVE M
ok next 3 (true & the sun always shines on tv & i want to know what love is) theyre all just them songs too.....i posted them to those songs too when i was Just Getting Into Halflifing and idk
OH ALSO ALSO the sun shines on tv reminds me of the truman show & i saw a lot of parallels btwn him and gordons whole Thing so therefore. gordon song. ALSO I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UUUGHGHHHHH its so pretty and so good and such a good story and AARGH
mud on the tires: dont look at m
italian medley: I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!????!?
cant fight this feeling: i heard it on the radio during driving lessons while i was at the Point where everything reminded me of barney. so..i could do some deep analysis (same w half this playlist but i feel silly doing so)
bulls on parade: bwaowo ptch waowao THE MICROPHONE EXPLODE (i had a video idea w gordon) (ALSO another guitar hero song for mr freeman)
owner of a lonely heart: they are losers
call me: guh. i like this song
ogrodu serce: again.....i heard it on the radio in my barney stage. i also hc'd him with a super thick southern polish accent for a while (?) i was gonna put oczy zielone bc Ha! Gordon freeman green eyes but i dont like that song
007 WOAH why were the numbers so big??!!!: i really haveno idea....something something security guard
somebodys watching me: THAT ONE FUCKING HALF LIFE FANART ILL REBLOG IT AGAINAGAINAGAINAGAIN AFTER THIS POST I LOVE IT SO BAD!!!!!!! its so good and so ppgpfhddbdhbbhjbhjbhjvbhjdbhjbhj AAAAGH i like thsi song too but its always gonna remind me of mr freeman
unwritten: dude Idk. barney though
arthur intro idk: the video w gman singing it to alyx....so real so true idk much abt her but im getting hl2 from the library soon MUUAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA (this is one of the half life specific songs)
youtube
just the way you are: hey you guys remember the video of barney;s va as the gecko singing dont goooo changinnnah. its also a gordon song bc it was in my gordon stasis gmod vid
the picard video: barney has a star wars voiceline ("Have you seen the new IG-88?" (the droid)) and i think hed like sci fi in general....idk anything abt either franchises though spare me
out of touch: i had a vision of them luckystar dancing to this song while eating cereal
lay all your love on me: i like this song & barney is very abba fan to me
even the nights are better: again again...i heard it on the radio
waiting for tonight: this video of the american idol gba game was stuck in my head for days & i feel like barney would be a bad singer. his voice acter is super good at singing cough go to mike shapiro soundcloud NOW cough so i think the opposite would be funny
youtube
escape (the pina colada song): barney.. if you like pina coladaaas
baby come back: uuurrggggh gordon freeman 20 year stasis uuurrrr
cheri cheri lady: another gman singing this video also i like this song!!!!!
the sign: real
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This is gonna keep me up at night i cannot believe that people dont like saejima like i didnt even reallse this was going on i was too caught up in the bliss of finally having a protagonist with bigger titties than kiryu and constantly wears an expression that looks like hes attending a funeral. Like i didnt even see the y4 scene as saejima it was so uncomfortable and felt so .. shoehorned in. Like theres nothing about saejima that ever made a callback to that scene ever again, it came out of fucking nowhere and then its revealed later on that saejima adores kids his childhood dream was to become a kindergarden teacher he loved his little sister like crazy and if they truly wanted saejima to pin haruka so badly they could have made it because he looked at her and saw yasuko and didnt want to look away. Saejima Was and Should Be portrayed as wild and desperate during that scene but not because of ??? Lust ??? Suddenly being overcome by female pheromones ??? Its because he was so scared and cornered and he knows that hes intruding on this perfect little family and its either him or them , and if he doesnt stop haruka now then she’s going to blow the whistle and have her dad come running and then its the end for him, hes going back to jail and theyre going to kill him in there and hes never going to see yasuko or majima or anyone else ever again. If saejima grabs haruka and bowls her over and ends up on top of her , hes not going to start shaking because shes a feeeemale its because he realises that his impulsive tackle has already painted him as dangerous in her mind and shes not gonna want him around anymore and he cant let her go now because shes going to call kiryu and if he wants to escape then he has to shut her up and go for her dad next and he really really doesnt want to have to kill them because they saved him and haruka is staring up at him with gigantic eyes, hes dripping cold sweat and he sees his sister and saejima lets go of her and resigns himself to going back to jail because he cant do it, he cant hurt her. Haruka scrambles to her feet and she saejima expects her to run but she stays in the room with him and neither of them know what to say to each other and Thats when kiryu, whos checked and double checked for any plausible explanation that wouldnt point to saejima being an escaped convict and found none, enters the room from where hed been monitoring the situation with his fists balled up, he unclenches his hands and he pretends like he hadnt seen anything and sends haruka on her way on a chore of little importance so he can have a private chat with saejima and kiryu sits at the entrance of the room, leaving his back open to saejima as they have their introductory speech and saejima is like fuckkk this is the guy i was supposed to look for, gives kiryu the fakest name ever (which kiryu thinks is genius), saejima gets more and more hyped and he concocts his shipwreck story and they end up on the beach as saejimas explaining the ship i worked on crashed and im the only survivor and i need to get to kamurocho pleasee give me money how much could one banana cost ? Ten dollars? And kiryus like Oh man, youve been in prison a long time... he says knows he broke out of prison and saejima realises he still let him see his back so that he knows that kiryu means no harm and as they talk saejima understands why hamazaki was so shaken by his encounter with kiryu , he doesnt know that kiryu approached hamazaki without once considering he had a knife clutched in his fist but he saw kiryu flagrantly leaving his back open to a dangerous criminal not because he thinks that saejima cant hurt him but because he trusts that saejima wont hurt him. Kiryu was giving him a chance to redeem himself, but his stomach sinks when he hears that kiryu will only help him if hes going to turn himself in and he tells him, fucking begs him, because he has no other option, either kiryu gives him the money or he takes it from him and kiryu keeps saying no and saejima is losing it a little he casts aside kiryus camaraderie wait look at this
Anyway he is trying to be as scary as possible in order to shake kiryu down but its not gonna work and they start to circle each other, sizing each other up, and with each step saejimas exhaustion and pain fades away, his limp disappears and his heart starts to race because kiryus not fighting him for the sake of it, this is a test he says, saejima has to prove to him how bad he wants that money. He doesnt have to kill them, kiryus giving him an out here, letting him do what he does best and if its a fight he wants then a fight he will get
#Yakuza loveblog#i was talkinf about this last night and fell asleep halfway theough so i guess it didnt keep me up#but also there are better ways to show that a man has been in prison#kiryu knows that saejima had the option to break harukas face in when he was on top of her but he just shoved himself up and away#kiryu saw the intention in the way saejimas fingers twitched and he had alarm bells clanging in his head that he had to save haruka right#now but something in his gut told him to wait and watch. and he was so relieved when saejima backed away. he can tell that saejima has#killed before but he also knows that saejima doesnt want to kill and he confirms it over and over when he bows his head and begs kiryu to#please hand over the cash so that no one gets hurt. he thinks about akiyama and his tests. kiryu doenst have a club to send saejima to but#he has his fists and saejima will just have to prove his conviction. if he fought his way out of prison then a single man would be noproblem
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vent (readmore is iffy for me sometimes so my apologies if this gets dumped to the tl in full)
i keep dwelling on my dad and i really shouldnt but. idk
i used to idolize him a lot when i was young. my mom was really dedicated to work and was largely absent due to overworking herself and also had no hobbies, while my dad was ... like. a cool gamer. and also home a lot more. but i was also very afraid of him because he was often verbally abusive and scary to be around with horrific anger management issues.
but... its hard as a child to draw the line between 'normal parental scolding' and 'abusive yelling and genuine and constant fear', so i didnt think anything was wrong. i never even considered the fact that him and my mom splitting up could be his fault or an issue with the relationship and blamed myself and my grandparents. i only really let myself question it all when i was older.
once he split with my mom (the 2nd time) and moved he basically gave up trying to have a meaningful relationship. eventually, after a bunch of little. incidents. my therapist advised me to block his number and i did. but then, years later, he texted my mom asking about me and my sister, and i wanted to believe he changed but....
idk. even then, i think he only got in contact because he had split up with his gf. i tried so hard to keep up with it, but hed never initiate conversations, often neglect to respond or respond extremely late, and he has this habit of CONSTANTLY overexplaining why he cant get birthday gifts/christmas/etc . just. constant long stories of financial hardship. which is fine, i don't expect gifts, but it always just. overrides every conversation.
i dont even know how to communicate with him, because im afraid of him. if i have a problem, i cant say it in case i set him off. i cant say something he might disagree with. i cant be honest or candid. i want to believe he regrets the past, but he wont acknowledge it.
so i blocked him again, but i dont know. i feel like i should tell him and explain. i want to still keep giving him chances. hes rarely ever been a good father to me, but hes the only one i have. i dont want to be alone like this. but i also cant take it anymore. the constant stress of trying to fix the relationship and the radio silence. the constant fear that ill say something wrong. the knowledge that the only topic i feel 'safe' to broach is sending him a picture i drew. the realization that im not sure if he even retains anything i say to him or if it's all just a bridge for his next personal story. and the constant fear that it's all my fault. that if i was better it wouldnt be like this.
i dont know. i hate this. i wish i wasnt born.
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OHMYGOSH FOR THE VALENTINES SELF SHIP ASK AND FOR LOFFMAN OFC!,!.!: the ship of all time 😌😌 the ship to ever ever ever
Darling, hugs, love letters, and smitten!!! >:3
HEY YOU. i love you. i would do doodles for this but my energy is looooowwww rn so youll just have to go by my descriptions for rn but i will doodle it later hehe :)
~ darling ; what outfits would you both wear on a date? feel free to show pics!
dates in hoffman's mind are "going to a fancy restaurant" or "going to a fancy dance" OR SOMETHING like he always approached dates as ... "they need to be extravagant/big" -- overtime ive shown him that anything can be considered a date......essentially ive shown him the joys of a nice night in,, with fort making and shitty baking ^_^ SO THAT BEING SAID it really just depends what we end up doing for a date night!!!!
when we get all dressed up for something fancy, he is always sure to match with me (i.e. a burgundy tie to match with my burgundy dress) -- it was a trend that started from our first fancy date and it was completely unexpected,, and seeing how much it made me melt,, he never stopped... it definitely stayed an unspoken thing
"...I like that tie." "I like your dress." (cue the knowing smiles + intense eye contact)
for a simpler night in, we just stay in our pajamas :) i am one to wear one of his shirts + shorts or sweats ,, and hes just a sweats guy. yeah he rocks no shirt , his honkers are out for the world to see. sorry abt that
~ hugs ; are you and f/o affectionate / open about your relationship in public?
yeah. we're annoying as fuck im SORRY. im just the type to always be holding on his arm, or his hand --- and hes the type to always have a hand on the small of my back, or an arm across my shoulders, etc etc
he isnt afraid to kiss in public - THAT CAN MAKE ME RLLY EMBARRASSED AND FLUSTERED THO so its him that initiates the face hold + gentle peck just to see me get all red (he chooses his timing w that tho - he is a trickster. a fool if you will.)
~ love letters ; are they good at expressing how they feel? what’s their best way of letting you know they love you?
it took hoffman some time to express any sort of emotion around me. ever since everything that happened with his sister, and ... how he coped with his grief :( ... he learned how to keep his emotions locked away and buried deep, deep down. hence why us falling in love/getting together at all is such a slow burn - bc he tries to bottle all his emotions away AND we start out ...strongly disliking one another (YA LOFFMAN IS ENEMIES TO LOVERS LMAOOOOO he fell first tho. i can talk abt the timeline of this for hours . i will spare yall for now but pls shoot me an ask if ur curious @ anyone who may be reading this)
but over time ... once he finally is in touch with that side of himself again... him expressing his love is very quiet. he speaks more-so through physical touch + acts of service/gift giving,, as hes never been good with words. but ,, he loves taking care of me. whether thats when im sick, or im overwhelmed, or he just simply wants to because he wants to. (he also loves holding me any chance he gets.....hes a very soft person at heart, not that hed want anyone to truly know that tho hehehh)
~ smitten ; was it easy for the people around you and f/o to figure out you liked each other? did they get involved in you getting together at all?
I THINK THAT GREATLY DEPENDS ON WHO IT IS. i think amanda knew first because ... partially its bc shes my twin and knows me as well as she knows herself , and could see through WHAT I THOUGHT WAS my "hatred" for him (that comes with its own drama tho tbh) -- but on the other side of the coin, i dont think kramer/lawrence were quick to realize it at all
ALL THIS TOOK FOREVER FOR ME TO TRY AND EXPLAIN IN A WAY THAT MAKES SENSE IM SO SORRY my brain feels fried rn ......
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Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicidal thoughts in thr past
So like i maybe go off like a villain here. Sending herw to send link to my megamind server buds. Uhm but yeaaa sorry if u didnt realize yet i can be quite crazy when it comes to real assholes like this guy. And i have no love whatsoever for child abusers /manipulators in anyway, shape, form or fashion.
Background: Only mental,emotional financial and phsyical type of abuse happened to me. Nothing rated M/E other then objectification for modeling. I have adhd and possibly many others including autism,anxiety, and recently thinking cptsd
Uh rant below
[[MORE]]
:readmore:
||So like TELL ME WHY this mans asked me TWICE NOW trying to bribe me to vome home and take care of his dumb ass
He has no working arms and i feel b
Pity im not completely heartless but i also laugh my ever fucking ass off cuz its his own karma hitting him
Its been damn near 3 years (1.5-2 since his accident) and hes STILL TRYING TO MAKE ME COME BACK
BITCH I RAN AWAY WITH 8 SUITCASES AND NOTHING ELSE WHYYYYYY
WHYYYYY WOULD I COME BACK TO UR NARCISSITIC MANIPULATIVE ASSANINE BULLSHIT
UR BEING SWEET and adoraaable and all "ohhh i love u princess. I wish u back princess. Im cryinnnng princess. Ill pay u 3600 a month! Ill pay 4000! A month!"
NO
NO
NO
I COULD BE PAID 14 GODDAMN GRAND A MONTH UR A LIAR
U will absolutely become a hellish monster again once im back in ur clutcges and im honestly cackling like a sociopath
This fucker has made me go full sociopath anime villain ass tendrncies. 0ne wrong step and i couldve been goddamn loki or deadpool in the real world im not kidding!!
If i got STUCK in the pandemic with this HO one of us would e died
One of us wouldve died.
I mainly kept tellin the doctors to leave him alive cuz i felt bad. I knew hed want to. I need SOMEONE to take care of the house (im broke af) and i wanna get life insurance to get i dunno 1k, 10k, 50k, 100k SOMETHING out of him.
And hes useful in helping me with grocery and occasional actual money
Just SIGH sighh i do love him
.....Hah Ahahha
Okay i USE to love him. I just feel bad for the guy at this point. He lost his goddamn chance for me to love him when i had to cry my goddamn self to sleep every fucking night of highschool asking Whyyyy the fuck he and mama dont seem to care. Even after saying my suicidal tendencies. Even after so many instances of me being angry beyonf measure. So many instances of abusing me even after mama (gramma) died. Even to the point where i legit was feeling insane from LACK OF QLEEP CUZ HE WONT TURN DOWN THE STUPID BASS
I cant stannnnnnnnnnnd bass anymore. Any bass in a speaker in a neighbors house i cant deal with.
Ppl yelling at me i cant deal with.
I dont think i can legit EVER fully live on my own without someone to at the least help me take care of thr house, appointments, paperwork and signing up or filling out things and spiders (sever phobia tht he neverrr helped)
Im 90% sure all of my diagnosis are 10000 or more % worse if not outright caused by him besides my adhd and autism
And even after all tht.
Alll the crying. All the screaming silently. All the manipulation. And abuse until he fucked my head around sideways and inside out
HE STILL THINKS ID EVERRRRR WANT TO GO BACK
im on low contact for "wow your life sucks" ahahajaha reasons just cuz i call u a couple times a month or two and we get along on the phone (cuz i laid down the tule if he starts yelling imma hang the eff up and or he starts blaming me imma sob story him till he shuts up) does not mean i will ever EVER live with him again
And if i even EVER THINK ABT GOING BACK its because i miss my house and old life i can never have and if i ever reallly think abt going back to him. My bog brother. My roommate, my bonus mother and prolly both besties would slap me upside the head or knock me out or tie me down and ask what the ever loving fucks wrong with me!!!
Jeezus christ! "I thought ud at least think abt it!" I THOUGHT ABT it for 23 yeaaaaars before i managed to get away u crazy man
No!
And even if i did I CANT TAKE CARE OF PPL i get grossed out touchin the hair tht combs off when i comb my own head.
I get grossed out at taking care of my own body
I get grossed out or shut down at the littlest of things tht even miss or roomie go WHY ARE U HAVING TRBL. Becauseee of himmmm. He made damn sure i would have to rely on ppl for the rest of my life which sets me up poorly to everrrr take care of him. Id rven told mama someone else would have to take care of herr. Id hire and pay someone but I. CANT. DO. IT.
So boo hoo sad story feels bad man but u made sure id have these fucking problems and dig ur grave and i wanna just scream at him to just lie in it nowwwww but i still need him and need to make sure he wont eff me in selling thr house tht mama for some reason only gave me half of. And maybe bribe him to keep my stuff in storage till im stable with a job again Ugh ;*; ||
Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicide thoughts in the past
#vent#fuck this guy#fuck abusive parents#children deserve better#im sociopathic sounding just a tad#also a lil villainous
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Hello I saw that you are going to write for paralive: ') so I would like to request headcanons for cozmez, hajun and shiki giving their first kiss with s / o fem please and thank you
First kiss
characters: Kanata Yatonokami, Nayuta Yatanokami, Yeon Hajun, Shiki Ando
genere: fluff
Warnings: none
note: this is my first time writing for them so i hope this is accurate (i listened to the cd dramas so it should be but yk) and hope you like it <3
requests Masterlist
------------------------------------------
Kanata Yatonokami
he's been thinking about it for a while now but is still too hesitant to actually do it
he would try to think of the best timing or place to do it, really putting a lot of thought into it (more than he'd like to admit)
gets frustrated because he's overthinking it too much and can't decide on when and how it should play out
settles on doing it quickly and to just pull through with it before he chickens out
though once it gets to that point he's much more nervous than he thought he'd be and rethinks his choices once more
walks up to you on the couch and and traps you there, holding your shoulders in place
does it rather fast to 1. get it over with and 2. to not even get the chance to pull out of it again
says something like “im gonna kiss you now. push me if you don't want it.” and watches you while leaning in, looking for signs of rejection
his lips are a bit rough yet very warm
turns red afterwards but tries to act nonchalantly (fails miserably)
-
Nayuta Yatonokami
he's a bit more chill than his brother but also overthinks it a bit
he'd do it while you guys are out somewhere in the park or having a picnic on a nice day
lays his hand on yours first and waits for you to look at him, his slight blushy cheeks visible
slowly leans in to give you time to pull away if you wouldn't want this
once hes sure you're not pulling away from him, he kisses you softly, placing his free hand on your cheek
his lips are extremely soft and smooth
admires your face up close after pulling away, taking in every last detail of you as he does every time he looks at you
would like to know if you liked it but won't ask because that would be too embarrassing for him
after realizing what he'd just done he'd get nervous again and look anywhere but your direction
bitting his lip he mutters a small “i liked it” with the sweetest and softest smile you've ever seen
-
Hajun Yeon
he's not used to wanting to kiss someone or liking someone like this in geral
thinks the feeling is gonna go away, so he doesn't even plan on doing it
but the next time he sees you, he suddenly gets the urge to lay his lips on yours
thinking that after one simple kiss his feelings will disappear, he just went for it
pulling you close by the waist, taking a strand of your hair and twirling it, a smirk playing on his lips and leaning in close
as he kisses you he realizes what he's doing, never expecting this to actually happen
but he couldn't posibly pull away right now
given he looks as flustered as he does with an obvious blush spread on his cheeks
so when he feels you kissing back he'd just take his sweet time kissing you
after he's satisfied, leaving you breathless, he'd pull away and tease you about it
thought he was all cool and slick but in reality he was shaking
good at it on his first try though
-
Shiki Ando
he'd ask his friends for advice on how to kiss and how to go for it since hes never done it before
gets even more nervous thinking about actually doing it
ryu pushes him to go through with it
he'd be more nervous then usual and fidget with his fingers more, also hesitant to look you directly into your eyes
he fears that you wont like it or that you'll push him away
so when you ask him whats up, hed tell you “im going to do something. if you dont like it then pull away. please dont be upset with me afterwards.”
so he slowly leans in waiting for your response until his lips meet yours breefly, too hesitant to lean in completely
you'd have to help him and lean into the kiss as well
he'd be very shy afterwards but extremely happy that he did it
shyly takes your hand in his trying to not look at you, preventing you from seeing his blushig face
-
#paradox live#paralive#paradox live x reader#hajun yeon#shiki ando#kanata yatonokami#nayuta yatonokami#ji's delivery♡
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Random idea that I thought you might appreciate. The showrunners really leaned into the horror aspects of Macaque's powers in S3Ep4, and I can't help but think about how much nightmare fuel he would be with a more unhinged personality. Like say, transplant the personality of Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street into Mac and he would be truly terrifying, maybe even more than LBD. LBD at least operates on some sort of logic, but Mac would be motivated only by his own twisted sense of humor.
I LOVE THIS QUESTION OK IM ABOUT TO RAMBLE BUT I THINK ITS LEGIBLE AT LEAST
ok so part of the reason i love canon macaque is that hes literally Just Some Guy. his motives start and end at selfish 'ive been hurt, time to make other hurt' and thats it. like. everyone knew the story of DBK, and once DBK gained power again his plan was 'take over the city and rule'. same for spider queen, who wants to rule the city and LBD who wants to (control?) change the world but macaque doesnt want any of that, he has no higher purpose hes literally Just Some Random Guy that even MK doesnt know. so like him going off the rails? COMPLETELY unpredictable, noone would know what hes doing next, least of all him! its gonna come across much more joker-esque than evil warlord or controlling monarch (disclaimer- i havent seen with any media with the joker in since heath ledger and under red hood djdjdkddjd so its not a specific version joker im talking about) im gonna talk about the actual powers and then the horror part below a cut so it doesnt get too long
and, like you mentioned, his powers were done SO well in s3, the amount of times he dips in and out of the shadows, steps backwards into them, completely used to how they work, and how he changes the atmosphere when he turns up? MY GOD some of my actual favourite use of powers like that ive ever seen in media. hes COMPLETELY my aesthetic, and i LOVED how they used his powers in ep4, bathing everything in magenta and stark black, and the voice acting when he sings out 'its just you and me now~' WAS SO FUCKING COOL IM STILL REELING. NOW IMAGINE THAT SITUATION IF HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO HURT MK rather than just scare him. THATS TERRIFYING cause his powers are so so good for chaos, hes got bandages that can grab people, he can teleport, step in and and out of shadows, make whole buildings/vehicles out of clones, and while theyre in there he can just? drag them into the abyss?? and this is all stuff he did when he wasnt really hurting them that much, i dread to think what else he'd be able to do if he was out for blood.
and he already uses the scare factor quite a bit but like, the ability to separate people like that is really really good for horror. and hed think it was SO funny to do it. AND THE CONSTANT TALKING? hed watch some run through a shadow maze and just laugh at them and tell them all the ways they could die. i dont even think youd have to change his personality that much, just make him a bit more violent. (although im aware weve only seen him in the show at his very worst (around swk, the person who killed him, in s1&2, and then desperate and trying to escape an abusive situation in s3. this doesnt absolve him of anything but weve definitely only seen him at his worst times))
can you imagine? being stuck in the dark? void in all directions and the remains of the room you were in just cutting off in artificial darkness? you dont know where you are, you dont know where HE is, theres one light and youre staying under it in some illusion of safety because you KNOW he thrives in the shadows and maybe, just maybe if you stay in the light youll stand a chance. youre trying to stay quiet despite knowing he already knows where you are, trying to control your breathing and listen for him. is he circling out there just beyond where the light touches, waiting? can you bring yourself to step into the shadows or are you going to stay under the light until it- flickers. and flickers again. and then goes out. because it was an illusion of safety to begin with, and this was just a game for him, and he thinks is funny when he kills you. :D i love horror
#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#six eared macaque#mk#mk writing#idk what to tag as its basically just an analysis of how cool i think maqs powers are and then a snippet of horror#anon is SO RIGHT
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He needs to rest.
A Rp prompt.
As the narrator walked through the door into his office, he looked exhausted. He looked as though all of the events he'd experienced outside the door hit him all at once. And they did, in a way.
When he first opend the door, it was as though his consciousness split into a multitude of different realities, all equally true and yet simultaneous. When he made his way back Into the office however, all of theese experiences collapsed into one being.
The narrator felt ever so slightly more whole, but quite frankly, he mostly just felt exhausted. He never in all his years could've anticipated what he would find on the other side of that door. Other people.
Not just other people, other narrators. Other versions of himself, with stories and companions and protagonists. He found entities in charge of entire plains of existence. He saw people.
Real, true living beings like himself. Hed long since forgotten what it was like. Expesually as of late. He looked back at the monitors to see stanley had not moved an inch. The narrator sat back down and felt his body relax, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "Hello, stanley" he said quietly.
"I told you I'd be back. Its quite a shame you pushed that button again, cause I should certainly think you would have loved the things I saw. What was it? Well im glad you asked!" He grinned to the screen, and began a lengthy in depth re-telling of everything he'd experienced.
He made sure not to miss any opertunity to rub in the fact that stanley was alone, and missed the possible chance of seeing other people, despite the fact stanleu couldn't hear a word the other was saying.
The narrator was aware of this fact, but he had nothing better to do here, so talk he would. He talked, and talked, and talked; recounting the events moment for moment to the best of his memory. Even recounting events he couldn't be sure happened or not. Though a horribly long time had passed by the time he finished, it was hardly a blip in the time he seemed destend to spend waiting for stanley to wake up.
The narrator smiled at the screen, as if awaiting a responce. Some sort of praise for what he went through, or upset remarks that the other didn't get to experiance it. But, of course, there was nothing.
The narrators smile became more strained before finally dropping into a frown. With a sigh, he leaned back in his seat and closed 4 of his eyes. Though, his main eye stayed open as ever.
"Knowing whats out there now" the narrator spoke to nobody. "I find it pointless to stay here and wait for you. I shouldn't have to. Even to punish you. Not when I'm taking the worst of it in silence." The narrator took a deep breath and sighed.
"But then again, I dont even know how to get back to any of them if I tried. The door leads back to where it always has now. I checked, I made sure of it. I didnt want anybody to bother me again. And I still dont!" He ended defensively even though noone was around to hear him.
"But..." he opend his eyes again and looked to his right. Not at anything particular, just looking away. Away from what he also wasnt sure. The narrator sighed. "What am I going to do now..."
Prompt end! open for rp? Not exactly sure how one would respond to this, but I'd love to continue anything ya manage, haha!
#tsp rp#my mans lonley#but dont tell him i told you that#tsp rp community#tspud#tsp#tsp narrator#tsp roleplay#tsp skip button
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Hi Sofi! Thinking about eren and feeling soft again, so I have headcanons for you~
- despite his looks in season 4, Eren doesn't have any experience with women. You were actually his first kiss and he was SO nervous. He still wonders if he was any good.
-sometimes he gets insecure and worries you don't believe he loves you. When it happens he rushes to your side and wraps you in his arms, refusing to let you go until he has whispered all his love and devotion into your ear while rocking you gently
- he used to have nightmares. That's why he asks you to sleep with him every night. No nightmares when you're there.
- you once wore his old survey corps uniform by chance. You needed to change your clothes and found it in some random storage room so you took it. He had long outgrown it, but he recognized it immediately. On your body it looked very different though, and he felt warmth rush to his cheeks. When you discovered it was his, you excused yourself for taking it, but he said you could keep it, all while blushing and mumbling something like "it looks better on you anyway".
- When the war ended, he brought you to his favorite tree. Not to say goodbye - that never happened - but to ask you to stay forever.
- Eren always dreamed of freedom, but since you're in his life, freedom doesn't sound that appealing anymore. He'd gladly spend his life tied to you, if you allow him. His stance is now "fuck freedom, I am yours". He now knows he never needed a vague concept of freedom. He was just looking for a place to belong. He found it. Your heart. That's his place.
-Bonus : you know his big, scary titan? I don't know if you would be comfortable being around that form too, but let me tell you a secret: no matter how small your hand is, Eren can absolutely feel your touch through his titan's skin. Pet him, please. It soothes him immediately and it's so pleasant that you can feel his chest vibrating. Yes, the attack titan can purr, but nobody knew that, because no one ever showed affection towards him. Eren is a little ashamed of this because he can't really control it, but he only does this for you. He's also gonna carry you anywhere and imagine how warm he would be-
(Sorry this went overboard as usual 😅)
oh bby, i was actually feeling pretty down today so JEEZ thank you for making me feel so much better! also u were makin me all giddy because i wasn’t sure if these were directed for me😭
I DONT KNOW WHO BELIEVES HED BE A SMOKA, JOKA, AND PUSSY CONTROLA but baby never even got a kiss until 19 so, i can definitely see him being insecure about what moves he makes on you. he fees it’s his responsibility to be stronger mentally but he often falls into this tunnel of doubt because of it. remind him how wonderful he is and he’ll be back up with a smile:)
boy is the biggest softie i swear, blame or praise carla cuz of that but anything he thinks would make you happy he will do. buy you gifts, comfort you, comforting himself by you because he knows you’ll feel good about it-
that freedom one bestie, LAWD. he always came to me as a thematic, bigger idea kind of guy. He really does try to find the good in everything even after his goals may or not have been accomplished. But i really feel that people’s impacts are much more crucial in his life than some thing to maintain, and you happen to be the biggest accomplishment of his existence. He’ll remember how happy you’ve made him feel decade after decade.
I WANNA HEAR EREN PURR ARGHHHH
bestie you wanna finish that last one though? i think you should- go… go ahead and finish it for me will ya?😏
#sofi chats<3#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#anime#eren yeager#eren jaeger#eren aot#snk eren#eren x you#eren x reader#moot jamie!!#eren yeager angst#eren yeager fluff#eren yeager comfort#eren yeager smut#eren jaeger angst#eren jaeger fluff#eren jaeger comfort#eren jaeger smut#sofi loves eren
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Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it
(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)
If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)
Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL
Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions
The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.
The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)
Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "
This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-
I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.
This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up
Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"
Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "
Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.
Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)
Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro
Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"
Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."
This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug
(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."
He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .
Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."
Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh* i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"
Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:
(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"
Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."
Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."
Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.
#mcyt#dream smp#dsmp#dreamsmp#tommyinnit#mcyt foolish#dsmp foolish#dsmp tommy#analysis#character analysis#tommyinnit analysis#dsmp analysis#analysis post#long post#long
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Megumi x FR
•Megumi aged up•
Megumi X Cheerleader
❗Warnings❗{Smut, degradation, hard dom, dacryphilia, spanking, drinking}
A/N: Megumi thinks you're pretty much an airhead since you're a cheerleader so he tries to take advantage of that but ends up falling for you
Your body drops letting him see those tight safety shorts all the cheerleaders wore, it's like you were all made for slutty clothes. It was pretty hot but for some reason he never looked at the other girls, only at you. It was probably because you werent like the others, you were so naive, so innocent and such an airhead. It was fun teasing you, making fun of you for getting simple answers wrong and tugging at your skirt even though you hated it.
"Megumi" he looks up seeing your bright eyes and large smile, "Hey" he says with a nod as you sit down in front of him, "so whatre you doing here?" You ask while opening a bottle of water. "You left this at class" he shows you a white book covered in stickers making you blush beet red. "G-give it!" You rush to grab it but he pulls it back, wrapping his arm around your waist.
So close! Megumi was super good looking! One of the hottest guys at the campus in fact but this wasnt important. "Give it Megumi" you say but he doesnt, only holding you down with a smirk. "I was being nice but now I'm kinda curious" and worry fills your mind. "D-dont" you say but he opens it and looks through the pages.
"What's this?" He asks as he looks through the pages filled with notes and drawings of buildings with measurements, but arent you in arts? He notices you looking away, you gave up? That's weird, you never gave up. "Dont worry about it, its nothing" you say while taking the book back and grabbing your stuff. "See you later" you leave making him shocked, so personal things like that make you pissed? How fun.
"C'mon" his fingers graze against your thigh making you curl up, "Leave me alone" you whisper, your hand pressing against his chest. "Why? You're always flirting with Megumi so why cant I?", "I-I dont flirt with him" you mutter feeling your blood boil. You talked to Megumi yeah, but it was because he was always being a dick or when you needed help with assignments but that was it. "Hey" both of your heads turn and the guy is sent flying across the hall.
"M-megumi" he looks at you with a look hes never given before, worry, "Are you okay?" He asks in a softer voice too. Is he okay? "I'm fine" you whisper, fixing your bag and taking your sweater out of it to wrap around your waist. "What the fuck Megumi" he hears from on the ground, "I may be a douchebag but I'd never touch a girl if she didnt want it" he says then grabs your wrist, pulling you down the hallway. Uh oh.
"You're so fucking stupid" he says as he pushes you into an empty classroom, "So fucking naive and you cant even stick up for yourself" you look down at the floor but he tilts your face up, grabbing your cheeks hard to make you look into his eyes. "When something like that happens do anything to stop it, because if you dont, bad shit will happen and I'm not alw-" he stops but you both know the end of that sentence making you blush a soft pink.
"I'm sorry" you whisper and as your phone buzzes you pull away, "Thank you, if you're still here by six maybe I can take you to eat somewhere" you leave in a rush as he looks at his hand. Hes getting too close, way too close.
You dance to the blaring music, holding a plastic red cup in your hand filled with who knows what. He watches your body move, holding a bottle of beer and listening to Yuji ramble about girls and which ones hed like to sleep with but it was Yuji, he never got any girls unless Sukuna was taking over his body.
"But my first one would have to be Y/N, I mean just look at her, shes got an amazing body and I'd love to hear her scream my name" he clenches the bottle tight feeling his anger build up, almost overflowing but he calms himself down. "Eh, shes not that special, total airhead" he says then leaves to a different room, Yuji could do whatever he wanted, it didn't matter because he didnt like you that way and never would.
He watches as he walks up to you and suddenly hes walking towards you as well. Your eyes glance back slightly shocked as arms slowly wrap around you but your widened eyes soften. "Megumi" he smiles hearing his name come out of your mouth, "Hey Beautiful" and you blush, you've been told it often but the way he said it sounded so meaningful and honestly it was the first time you've ever liked being told it.
Time passes as you both dance and talk, giggles filling whatever silence there is and soon enough you and him are drunk, muttering things into each others ears, sitting on his lap, his hands holding your skirt down to make sure no one sees anything and your arms wrapped around his neck. "Why're you so pretty?" He whispers as he leans into your lips, barely touching them making you slightly mad. You wanted to kiss him but he wouldnt get close enough, wouldnt let you get close enough too and you could feel your need building up.
"You want to kiss me?" he whispers into your ear and you drunkenly nod with a small giggle. "So drunk arent you" you lean into his lips but he stops you, "Gimme a kiss" you mumble but he shakes his head.
"Sorry Princess but you're incredibly drunk and I cant just do that to you" he says, trying to make you feel better but all you do is grumble and whine. You were worked up, he had a massive boner and it got you horny too and all you wanted was to please him.
"Your place or mine?" He asks after some time of walking but finds you asleep, "I guess mine" he says then heads to his.
You nuzzle into his chest as his arms wrap around your body, "Megumi" he looks down but you're still asleep making him smile. You looked so peaceful but the shared smell of liquor was making it less comforting. Maybe he should wake you, it wouldnt be good to sleep like this. But then again you didnt have any clothes and you needed to sleep.
You turn around and his slightly intoxicated self heightens the feeling of you pressed right up against him. He whispers your name into your ear, making your eyes open slightly, "Hm" you hum out, you start sobering up and he whispers something into your ear making you turn red.
"P-pervert" he chuckles as his hand rub your side, you were soft but goosebumps were forming which was cute. So shy and so innocent now that you're sobering up. His eyes close again feeling sleep take over him but your grinding against his crotch keeps him from it. "Stop it" he says but you dont, "Play with me" you mumble and as his hand runs up your body you expect him to tilt your face to kiss you but instead his hand wraps around your neck, grabbing it with a bit of force eliciting a gasp from you.
"Take your clothes off, say Red to stop" he mutters in a lower tone and you nod fast, he sounded irritated and you didnt want to make him angry. Once your clothes are off you look back, turning red, seeing him naked as well with only his hipbone and down covered. He smirks seeing your eyes take in the sight, you knew he worked out but you didnt know he was this strong.
"Want a kiss now?" You nod fast as your eyes shine and he smiles, "Take it then" you rush to kiss him making him chuckle at your eagerness, he pulls you onto his lap, looking up at you slightly as his hands rest on your backside, grinding you against him slowly. Tiny, soft moans escape your mouth feeling his hardness rub between your folds, "Megumi" you whine out into his neck.
"I have con-", "No, want you" his mouth goes dry and he lifts you slightly, "You want me?" He asks earning fast nods. "Like this?" A gasp fills the room as he pushes in a single finger, "N-no, want you" he chuckles against your neck thinking of endless ways to tease you but the main thing he wants is for you to beg so, he doesnt remove his finger, he pushes it in and out slowly, not doing anything only making you angry.
"Please" he leans into your ear and bites it slightly, "What do you want?" You shake your head earning a spank. "Tell me" he says but you shake your head again earning another one making you hiss and whine. "Please Megu- ah!" You cover your mouth as he delivers another spank but it's harder this time.
The process goes on, him asking to barely receive an answer and none are what he wants, he sighs then pulls your hair back as you softly cry, "One last chance" he growls out slightly, "Y-your cock, please" he pulls you down onto him making you whine and sob into his neck.
"Such a naughty girl arent you?" He asks as he guides you on him, you felt like actual Heaven, your insides were nice and tight, warm and you were sucking him in so nicely. You nod as tears fall down your face making him twitch, "Fuck me, you're so perfect" he growls into your ear, insults coming after of him telling you how needy you were, that you were just a hole to him, a cumdump, something to use making more tears fall down your face but you loved it, something about being put down like this made it feel so good.
You move your hips to his movements feeling yourself about to break and as it's about to crash he keeps you still. "Try to come without me again and I wont be very nice", "Sorry" you whisper, leaning into him more, feeling soft, mushy and needy.
You both go again and the insults slowly turn into compliments, he moans as you clench around him and you whimper, "Come" he says and your body shakes, immediately at his demand. He thrusts up into you hard making you sob out into the room, "Shh Baby, I've got you" he whispers, hands rubbing your back, pulling you as close as possible and leaving soft kisses on your head.
"So perfect for me, such a good girl. Everything I said isnt true, okay?" You nod with soft cries and he kisses you softly, too rough for the first time and definitely not the right time but you were both definitely sober by now. "I love you" he suddenly says making you stop crying, "I love you too" and he stands. He always said hed never date, especially with someone like you but here he is, confessing his love for you and needing you more than ever.
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