#i even helped her keep her dog from being taken by suggesting she get a chain for him?

[1d1195]

Most II

Read Most here | ~8.6k words (whoops)

From me: So I was worried I wasn't going to have enough for this part. Especially from our MC's POV. I started with Harry first and then I wrote her POV and I think this got a little out of hand as I always manage to do--but hopefully you'll see what I was aiming for.

Warnings: angsty af, some fluff too; my hope is you'll cry when you least expect it

Summary: Leaving nearly killed her; but if Harry was happy, it would be worth it. Harry thought he would never get out of bed ever again after she left. But he did. He's really glad he did, too.

*Three years later*

“Thank you, Harry!”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Peterson. Same time next week?” He winked. The woman was older, in her sixties, she smiled politely at Harry and waved from her doorway. It seemed Mrs. Peterson constantly had issues with her alarms and being that she was older and away from family, Harry was happy to help her.

It helped that he lived next door to her as well. A tiny little house, two bedrooms, one bathroom. But it had a nice yard and Harry thought that maybe in the future there would be a flower garden and maybe one day there would be two kids who would find a bird’s nest among the flowers. But more than likely if they had two kids they would need a bigger house, a new yard, with a different garden.

The first year was the worst.

It felt like she died. The grief was so overwhelming it was hard for him to get out of bed. His mum even said things like, “Harry, she wouldn’t want this,” and “honey bunny, you have to keep living,” and Harry was mean about it. He was grumpy, sour. He told his mum it wasn’t living if she wasn’t around. He was sure he sounded like a lovelorn teen who knew nothing about love and life, but he did. Because she was the love of his life; and she was gone.

Gemma was better at getting him out of bed. Mostly because she physically dragged him out, but he was up and out all the same. She took him to get lunch and made sure he attended his classes. She watched him mope and live this half existence. Gemma wanted to hate her. She really did. But she couldn’t. As connected as she and Harry were, it felt like Gemma had a connection with her as well—maybe it was only by proxy of her brother, but she felt it.

“I think she’ll be back,” Gemma had taken Harry to the park for fresh air. They watched people run through, dogs chase after squirrels, and kids swinging at the playground. Life kept moving even if Harry felt like he was at a standstill.

“Gem,” he sighed. His eyes were tired, devoid of tears any longer. “I don’t want...”

“What? To hope?” He didn’t answer her, kicked at the rock near the bench they were sitting on. “I’m not saying you have to get back out there or anything,” she rolled her eyes. Harry snorted. The thought was laughable. There was no one else for him, he was certain. “But some hope would be good,” she suggested.

“Why d’you have hope?” He grumbled not looking at his sister.

“Because I want to hate her guts,” Gemma said knowingly. “I want to claw her eyes out for making my baby brother cry and tear her hair out of her head.”

“Gem,” he grimaced. Even hearing her talk about injuring her made him nauseous.

“Yeah, exactly. The thought of it makes me sick too,” she turned to face Harry on the bench. “She broke you and your sweet heart, Harry,” she reminded him. He turned away from her, afraid he would cry. “Because she thought it was for the best and I believe she would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I think she really believed this was for the best. Have you ever seen her do anything she didn’t believe in?” Gemma reminded him.

He hadn’t. Harry, for a brief period of time, really wanted to run a marathon and she helped him schedule and train as if he was going to win a marathon. She hated running but she was up at six in the morning, waiting with a tired, beautiful smile. “Ready?” She yawned. He smirked at the memory. Mostly because when he told her the marathon dream was over, she punched him in the arm for making her like running and getting out of bed so early.

“No,” he sighed, shook his head. Harry let the pause consume the two of them for a few moments. The sound of laughter from the swing set and chatter from the owners to their dogs was warm. Like Harry was there all the time and it was comforting. “I miss her,” he whispered. “I miss her for everything for a lot of reasons... but maybe mostly as m’best friend.”

Gemma smiled sadly, wrapped her arm around his shoulders, and nodded. Harry was her little baby brother, but he was a head taller than her, and he had to squish down to rest his head on hers. “I miss her too,” she sighed. “But don’t worry...” Gemma agreed. “She’s gonna be back,” she assured him. “I can feel it.”

*

So, the first year was without hope. Harry focused on EMS classes, the classes for his psychology degree, and applying to be a volunteer firefighter so that he could get some of what he wanted whether she was there or not.

The second year, he helped with fire safety and the local primary school. He told little boys and girls how to make safety plans and encouraged them to chat with their parents so they could be safe in the case of a fire.

“Have you ever fought a fire?” A little girl asked him.

He chuckled. “No, but m’friend and I made a campfire and it spread a little more on the yard than we’d like,” he explained with a smile. “Had t’put it out ourselves.”

“Weren’t you scared?” She whispered.

Harry thought about the two of them in his backyard, waiting to roast marshmallows and thinking they could do it without his mum around. They were pretty successful, but a gust of wind threw them for a loop. She was ready to call the fire department. Fortunately, Harry was prepared and had a bucket of water to stop the spread of the flames from licking all the grass away.

“Aw, my hero,” she cooed sweetly, and Harry smiled, feeling happy. He was only eleven or so at the time, but he loved the thought of being her hero. It was worth the grounding and worth the yard work to fix it after. All for that cute girl he already adored in his tween years so very much.

“No,” he shook his head, smiling as he answered the little girl. “No, I wasn’t scared. S’important t’remain calm,” he explained.

“But what if my stuffy gets stuck inside?” She looked at Harry, wide-eyed with horror. It was nearly identical to the same horror the sweet girl had when the backyard was close to burning.

“I bet your mum and dad would have a plan, love. M’sure they’ll be able t’tell you what y’need t’do t’get you and your stuffy out,” he winked at her.

She nodded knowingly. “My little brother too?”

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded firmly. “Little brothers gotta get out too.”

It was like the little girl could predict the future because year three was the year of Harry finishing his degree (early—since he had nothing better to do than study and study some more). He was a staple at the fire station. Helping the town the way he always dreamed of helping.

And fighting real fires.

One of the major restaurants in town had a greasy fire that had him and his department racing to put out the flames before the building next door followed the same fate. Even though he didn’t do a whole lot other than hold the hose (it was a pretty relaxed fire, all things considered) he felt a swell of pride, pure happiness in his chest.

When he was at the local primary school again for a fire drill that same sweet little girl made her way to him, told him all about her plan and how Mummy and Daddy said they would save her stuffies if they could, but they weren’t nearly as important as her. He grinned. “I told you they’d have a plan,” he gave her a fist bump.

“This is my friend, he’s going to be a fireman too,” she pointed to the little boy beside her. He looked a little shy. But he smiled politely.

“S’cool, lad,” he gave him a fist bump as well. “Can’t wait t’have you on the team,” he winked. “Y’gonna train and take care of our little town here?”

He nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“He’s going to marry me,” the little girl said. It was casual. Like breathing. There wasn’t any fanfare about it, it wasn’t hope. It was pure fact. She sounded certain she was going to marry her little friend. “And he has a plan for all my stuffies too.”

Now Harry felt a pang of jealousy. Or nostalgia. Perhaps it was a combination of both. How on earth could a twenty-two-year-old man be jealous of a nine-year-old?

But nine was the year she was a pirate for Halloween. At the time, Harry thought his best friend was so pretty and he wasn’t supposed to think girls were pretty, but she was. Even though Harry didn’t know why he thought she was pretty, suddenly, he wanted her to be in his life. So that he could soak in all her beauty and make her happy as long as he possibly could. He cleared his throat. “S’good, love,” he agreed kindly and as silly as it was, he walked away from the little ones because if he stayed a moment longer, he would break down crying jealous of the little love that he used to have that bloomed into something so much more and then disappeared.

*

That first year was truly the worst.

Mitch had Mondays, Niall on Wednesdays. Louis took mornings, since he and Harry jogged together around town. Sarah took weekends, making sure he went to the coffee shop that played quiet music while college students studied just near the university. Eleanor was constantly on call and that usually meant she talked him through the loneliness when he got home from his classes or work—he chatted about his day and told her what he was going to have for dinner.

Anne was compassionate. Always. “Honey, don’t you think—”

“Mum,” he sighed, he didn’t want to hear the end of the sentence. He already knew what it was going to be anyway.

“Couldn’t we look for her?” Anne asked. He shook his head.

“She...left,” it felt like acid in his mouth to say it. But maybe if he had followed after her that first week things would have been different. But he didn’t. So, she was gone and if she wanted to be gone, then what was Harry supposed to do but listen to her? At the heart of it all, he wanted her to be happy. Even if it made him miserable and sad.

But maybe Gemma was right—of course he hoped she was right.

“She’ll come back,” he mumbled. It was still hard for him to say. Even harder for him to believe.

But he did. It took two of the three years she had been gone for him to feel that way, but he believed it. Believed that she would come back because she was his soulmate.

Even though he didn’t believe in those.

“Harry,” Anne sighed. “Don’t you think—”

“Mum, m’jus...something happened,” he sighed. “I don’t know why but...something scared her away. M’not gonna make her run further by looking for her. Begging is only going t’make it worse,” he had given the spiel a thousand times over. “You can’t hate her, Mum.”

“Honey, I love that girl almost as much as you do,” she assured him with a grin. “I just don’t want you to stop living because of her.”

He knew she was right. All of them were right. So, he went to class. He went to work. He saved money to buy his house (and got some help from his kind mum too). He did so many overtime shifts, his coworkers thought he was being a suck up. His mum and Gemma worried about him. His friends worried about him. Harry tried out a plethora of ridiculous hobbies to keep him entertained enough and “lived” even though he didn’t want to.

Because living without her didn’t really feel like living.

But that part of Gemma that felt she would be back made him hope, in the deepest parts of his heart. Made him want to live even when he didn’t think he could because if she came back, he did think she might be mad he tried to stop living.

So, he lived.

*

Harry got home from his overnight shift at seven in the morning. He was tired. Didn’t sleep well the day before so it felt like he was going to fall asleep the moment he closed his front door—he wasn’t going to make it to the couch.

“Harry?!”

It was the exhaustion playing with his mind. He wanted to just go inside, not fiddle with Mrs. Peterson’s smoke alarms or make small talk. “Hey, Mrs. Peterson, good morning,” he answered, making his way across the yard to hers. “Everything alright?”

“I’m so sorry to bother you, Harry,” she started.

Harry felt guilty for not wanting to help the older woman. Regardless of how tired he felt. “No bother, Mrs. Peterson, really.”

“I think this house is cursed! Remember when the water heater exploded?!”

Harry smiled politely but wanted nothing more than to just go to bed. But Harry pressed anyway. He knew she was lonely. Harry knew loneliness like nobody else. “I do; what is it this time?”

“The sink is backed up—I think something’s clogged in it. I’m so sorry to bug you. I know you just got home—"

“It’s fine Mrs. Peterson. I’ll take a look,” he made his way through her home to the kitchen. Harry knew where everything was because he had done so much maintenance for her over the last year. Harry glanced at the sink for just a minute and then headed to her supply closet to get a bucket and the tools he had set in there for the very likes of this situation.

Once he had his materials, he laid back on the floor and crawled below the cabinet to get a look at the pipe curving out from the sink. All he wanted was to go home and fall asleep. But every once in a while, his thoughts kicked into overdrive—perhaps it was tiredness wreaking havoc on his brain.

Out of nowhere, this wasn’t Mrs. Peterson’s house.

It was the house he was supposed to be sharing with the love of his life. She would be hovering over him, making a joke about plumbing and pipes that would bring a blush to his face. Something he never expected the sweet girl to say but was enamored with her comedic timing. He would fix the issue and hear her say “my hero,” again. She would kiss him and probably convince him (although he needed very little convincing when it came to her and any desire she had) to have sex with her on the kitchen counter.

It took a minute for Harry to notice the water stopped leaking into the bucket. Carefully, he stuck a screwdriver into the pipes to make sure everything was clear and ready to be put back. “Alright, then,” he cleared his throat and slid back from the cabinet and stood to test the sink.

“You know Harry,” Mrs. Peterson began. “A handsome, kind, intelligent young man like you,” Harry was back below the sink putting the pipe back together. “I have a granddaughter your age. She’s very smart. She wants to be an engineer and she’s going to work—”

Harry smiled kindly. “Thank you, Mrs. Peterson,” it wasn’t the first time she had brought it up. “But, y’know m’happily taken.”

*

The first year was the worst.

Fortunately, her mom didn’t put up too much of a fight when she went home and said she wanted to move away. The car accident she was in really did a number on her and her mind. In turn, it messed with her daughter as well.

Mom said she planned on moving when she went off to college anyway. In a moment of clarity, a good day she was having, she explained she wanted to be closer to her sister so that she could let her live her young life the way she was supposed to and not have to worry about her addled mind. At the time, she was devastated. The thought of not having a house near Harry seemed horrifying. Grounds for a tantrum she never threw when she was young. She was going to drag her feet and keep hold onto Harry like she was being told she had to leave a theme park.

At the time, Harry wiped her tears away, kissed her gently on the forehead and assured her she could live with him until they got a house of their own.

She never thought she would willingly ask her mom to leave their lovely town.

Fortunately, the day she asked to leave her eyes were bloodshot, but her moms were clear. “Are you sure, sweetie?” She combed her hair back and kissed her forehead the same way Harry had in the exact opposite reaction. “What happened?”

She inhaled sharply, shook her head, and turned away. “No,” she sniveled. “No.”

So, for a few moments, her mom was her mom. The one that was kind and lovely. The one who’s mind was fully intact and didn’t get angry for no reason. “Oh sweetie,” she frowned and held her while she cried.

When they arrived at her new place, a small little house her mom was renting just a few miles away from her aunt, they reminisced about the photos and trinkets she grew up with. They laughed and she felt like she was at home even though it was the furthest from home she ever could have imagined.

“You know, when I’m mad, it’s not about you, my love. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” her mom told her. “I’m sorry I’m not the mom you used to have.”

Her dad had ducked his responsibilities shortly before her mom’s water broke so it had always been the two of them. For a very long time, it was perfect. Her childhood was perfect. The best mom who never made her feel like she couldn’t do something.

Then, post-accident, it felt like just one and a half of them.

Sometimes, she didn’t know who the half was.

But one thing she could count on was that Harry would make her whole.

“I’m worried that I won’t live my life because of her,” she whispered to Harry. They were laying under the stars in his backyard. It was before they were together; but if you asked her, there was never a time they weren’t together. Being boyfriend and girlfriend in school was a label for everyone else, not for them. “It makes me feel selfish,” her voice creaked.

“You are the least selfish person I know, kitten,” Harry reached out and grabbed her hand. Squeezed it. “Your mum is still your mum,” he promised. “She doesn’t want you t’take care of her. S’not your job. You have t’live your life for her.”

Harry was a year older than her, but it often felt like he was ages older. He was wise beyond reason, and she was so grateful he was in her life. Not just because he was easy to look at and she adored him so unbelievably much, but because he was right. He was there. And he always made her feel better.

She was turned on her side, so she could properly stare at him. The car accident was years ago at that point, and it still felt fresh. Part of her lost a chunk of her mom that day and sometimes the aftermath was more painful than the day her aunt came to get her at school and bring her to the hospital. She and Harry usually walked home from school and the poor thing nearly had a panic attack not knowing where she was.

How no one, including themselves, figured out they were meant for one another long before they were together, seemed crazy to look back on.

When she realized her mom was different, Harry was there to balance the craziness. He helped her cope and assured her that everything would work itself out. He helped her through the screaming matches that ensued and all the frustration she felt from not being the same mom she once had. Things would be okay—he would make sure of it.

It was ridiculous that two teenagers could think in absolutes like that. But she believed him so completely; neither of them had money—well, no more than their retail jobs offered. Harry couldn’t support her anymore than she could support him. But given the chance she was certain he would. And she wanted nothing more than to be there for Harry the way he was for her.

But without Harry, she felt numb. Trivial stuff didn’t matter anymore: a broken dish, mom yelling at her, a car repair, or a cut on her finger from slicing veggies for dinner. Waitressing mishaps and stressing for finals felt completely different without Harry by her side.

Her mom forgot a lot of stuff. Where she put bills, where she left her glasses, or how to get to the grocery store. But she never forgot Harry.

“How’s Harry?” She asked.

“Good,” it was easier on her heart and her mom to just say he was fine. It wasn’t worth reliving the experience over and over. It killed her that she didn’t forget. Hearing his name made her stomach flutter. But they were closer to her aunt now. So she was able to help with the things her mom was forgetting more frequently and the chronic pain and anger that she suffered from due to the accident. It was why she was able to live in apartment with a friend from school.

How she was able to make a friend at all was a miracle.

Addie was a history major and but took so many dance classes she could have double-majored in it. She was graceful and beautiful. She was loud and fun—always knew people who threw the best parties and always managed to find a guy to help move their stuff in and out of their dorm and apartments.

Part of her wondered why Addie even liked being friends with her. She wasn’t anything like Addie: bright, vivacious, life-loving. All she did was go to class, go to work, and mourn the loss of the love of her life even though it was her own fault.

After some coaxing and friendship building (and a thunderstorm mid semester that took out the power in the middle of the night and simultaneously woke the pair of them) she told Addie all about her past life. “Sweetie,” Addie shook her head and spoke into the dark room as if she could see her. It felt like she was yanking directly on her heart. “You could have him again,” she promised. “There’s no way he’s not waiting for you.”

“But Addie... he deserves more.”

“Well, he probably doesn’t want more.”

“Addie,” she shook her head. “I’m not...”

“Not what? Everything you just said made it sound like you’re his soulmate.”

She felt like her vocal cords had been pinched together. She was glad the darkness hid the tears. “Harry didn’t believe in those,” she whispered.

“Well, respectfully, sweetie…he’s as dumb as you are, then.”

She laughed. It started quietly and built and built. Her giggle into unfiltered pure joy. It had been months since she laughed like that. It was warm and made Addie laugh alongside her. She didn’t know how much she missed laughing. It didn’t make it better because God, did she miss Harry and her old life, her old friends, and everything about that wonderful, beautiful town. But it made her think that maybe, if she could laugh, Harry would too. That’s what she wanted, right? At the end of the day, it was why she left. Give Harry the chance to have more when she felt like less.

*

Addie took a writing class with her in their second semester. An intro class—but it was one of those ones that was ridiculously hard for no reason at all. Luckily, she enjoyed writing, but if someone took this class as a hopeful, easy elective, they were in for a rude awakening.

Their professor had just finished reading one of the assignments from the previous week. It was riveting, a short story about a girl who felt this undeniable pull to jump off a bridge in the town she lived in. It wasn’t a tragic kind of jump. It was like a reset, something hard to explain. That there were a lot of things she felt it would help—if she just jumped once, it—no everything—would be okay. She described the bridge, the rocks, the water with so much rich vocabulary, it was like everyone in the class was there at the bridge. The protagonist hated heights though, and jumping was dangerous even if it wasn’t tragic. The back and forth of pros and cons as to why she should jump, why she shouldn’t. The humor, the warmth, the nostalgia hit the entire class like a tsunami.

The final paragraph read about the girl going to the bridge. She had just decided, finally she was going to jump. She set her belongings down and climbed the railing. She was alone and brave. No one was going to stop her, and she felt so good. She wasn’t going to stop herself. She breathed in the salty air, didn’t look down, and listened to the sound of waves crashing over the rocky shore. It was peaceful. No cars around, no people. Just her and the water. It was exciting, Addie felt for the character wanting the reset more than she wanted to breathe. It was going to work; she was going to feel better. Addie was proud of her for wanting to do it and getting what she wanted.

A reset. To fix everything. Their professor read.

Then, she climbed off the railing, picked up her stuff, and went home.

How was anyone supposed to remain in this writing class if that was what they were competing with?

“I hope she publishes that,” Addie whispered.

Their professor wrote the assignment on the board. Another short reading and then questions to go over it. The room was silent while people read, and then quiet chatter started as they worked in pairs on the assignment. At the same time, their professor shuffled the previous writing assignments and returned them to their authors.

The paper titled Jump slid onto the desk beside Addie. She stared at her friend like she was possessed. “Are you kidding?”

She quietly tucked the paper below her new assignment sheet and shrugged, cheeks blushing at the notion. Addie was in awe and unnerved that she didn’t seem to care. Over the next several classes, she kept an eye on her friend so she wouldn’t miss any more brilliance. She wrote answers to questions her professor asked in her notebook. “Why don’t you answer?” Addie whispered.

“Shh,” she hushed.

“Are you a genius? Like a prodigy or something?”

“Shut up,” she hissed, worried her professor would say something about their rude and ridiculous whispering to them.

After class, they headed back to their dorm for a nap. It was like they were toddlers, but they didn’t care. “So, Prodigy—”

“Addie,” she laughed. “Stop.”

“What’s your plan? A book?”

There was a small pause. Reflective almost. Then she nodded. “Yes.”

They were quiet. Addie waited for her to elaborate but it never came. “Sweetie, you’re brilliant.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely, still not elaborating. That was the first time she felt like her old self in her writing. It was the first piece of something that was sentimental and her that she had written since she left. It had been 231 days since she saw Harry. Last week when they had been assigned the homework to write something like Jump, she finally felt like it was worth writing.

“Hey,” Addie stopped her, a hand on her arm as they approached their dorm. “Can we just...take a second? You wrote something so brilliant and beautiful. Maybe you and Harry were used to that kind of brilliance, but I’m only just learning about it,” Addie said Harry’s name so casually. Like she had known him just as long as she had. Harry would love Addie, she was sure. “You should enter that in a contest,” she told her. She snorted and shook her head. “I’m serious! It should be published. You hooked me in, and it was what, five thousand words?”

She nodded; shrugged nonchalantly. “More like four thousand, actually.”

Well, it felt like ten thousand to Addie and she still loved it. “Why did you write it?” Addie asked. Biting the inside of her lip she shrugged again. But she knew. They both knew. “Sweetie, you can go back to him. You can jump,” she said reassuringly. Tears filled her eyes and she looked away. “Harry would under—”

“I know,” she croaked. “I know,” she sniffled. The chill in the air wasn’t helping. Harry’s birthday was only a few days ago and it was the first one in years where she didn’t send him a message at midnight. She had been the first one to wish him a happy birthday for the last ten years—since she was old enough to text him. But Addie was right. Harry would understand. It was ridiculous that he would. He would forgive her instantly. But it was barely half a year. It was too soon...it wasn’t enough time to let him... breathe without her.

Even if it felt like she was suffocating without him.

“Aw, babe,” Addie sighed and wrapped her arm around her friend’s shoulder. It took her a second to notice she was crying, sniveling more than was necessary as she remembered his birthday wishes. “I’m sorry,” she said and ushered her the rest of the way into their dorm. “We can talk about it another time.”

She sniveled and wiped her eyes. “S’okay. Thank you for being so nice, Addie,” she said truthfully. A different friend might have told her to quit crying and it was her own choice. But Addie was different. Because as brilliant as she was, Addie had a knack for this kind of emotion, this kind of understanding that someone as graceful as her could only understand.

“Of course,” she held the door open for the lobby. “That’s what best friends are for.”

*

She worked a lot from the moment she set foot on campus. She waitressed at a restaurant that was flooded with locals and plenty of college students. For years the only one that flirted with her was Harry. She was surprised when guys asked her out while she was working. It was a little uncomfortable at first. “I’m actually—”

“Of course she’s taken,” one of the guys at her table said to his friend.

And honestly, she hadn’t thought of that. Fortunately, she still felt taken. Very much so. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to move on from Harry. “You are?” he asked with a frown.

“Happily,” she sighed softly. Because it was true—partly. She was smitten; completely taken by and with Harry. Whether he was physically around her or not. There wouldn’t be anyone else. Couldn’t be.

It didn’t stop the flirtations, but it made it easier to take them on because she could say her heart was taken. Happily, taken.

So, the first year was the worst. Figuring out how to live without her best friend and so she focused on school. She focused on work. But Harry invaded her every thought. In fact, she started writing down things that happened to her. Like a list because maybe, in the depths of her subconscious, she wanted to go back. That’s what Jump was about. She had to go back. Even if it was to see that he had moved on and if he did, that was good. He deserved it.

Harry was in her blood. He was written in her notebooks as if she had it tattooed on her skin.

*

“Do you want to get an apartment?” Addie asked. “You’re staying the summer, yeah? What was your plan for that?”

She wasn’t sure, honestly. It was April and the semester was coming to close in just a few weeks. She thought she would just sleep in her car or something and shower at the gym. Visit her mom for a bit of time about an hour away. Or maybe even commute from there. But she hadn’t thought about it, because it honestly didn’t matter. She would continue working and moving. Trying her hand at silly hobbies to entertain her mind and keep her from spiraling and being sad all the time.

“Yeah...um...no...no plan. An apartment?” the sale of her mom’s house gave her a pretty penny. It was kind of her mom to give her anything. Well...you know. Her mom shrugged. An unspoken sentence about inheritance and the like.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have air conditioner that worked when we wanted it to?” Addie sighed dreamily. “Or heat? Like why are these dorms even allowed to run without heat in the middle of a snowstorm?”

The chilly night they spent snuggled in bed beneath every blanket they owned and every sweatshirt they could possibly put on was now a fond memory that made them smile. Although it was anything but fond at the time. “And if the smoke detector goes off, we don’t have to run out necessarily,” Addie continued. “You can feel not guilty about writing into the night in your own room.”

“Are you trying to sell apartment living or are you flirting with me?”

“Whatever gets you to move in. My parents know someone so the rent will be cheap—just have to pay the utilities and a little monthly fee. The only thing is we’d have to move twice. They have this place for the summer but we’d have to go to a different one of their places at the end of August.”

With the tips she was making, plus the tutoring she did at the writing center, it seemed completely doable. But a huge part of her hesitated because she always dreamed her first apartment would be with Harry. He would help her move furniture and let her decorate it however she wanted even though she asked every time if he liked it. What if I want pink walls with yellow polka dots? She asked him. Then I’ll get m’paintbrush. What if I only want blow-up furniture? She wondered. Then I’ll buy an air pump.

“We’ll have to go furniture shopping,” she said instead.

Addie squealed.

*

She was sitting in the auditorium watching Addie’s dance recital. A guy sat beside her. “Hey,” he said sweetly. “I’m Carter,” he stuck his hand out. She offered her name quietly.

Harry would love Carter. Clearly a bright personality—outgoing and sweet. “I saw you sitting alone and figured I’m alone too. Are you waiting for someone?” He asked. She shook her head. “I think we have a class together,” she didn’t immediately recognize him. Harry would love him. Would love how sweet he was to get ready to just chat and make her feel comfortable without being creepy. Even though she did not want to talk to him. Not because he made her feel weird but because she was grumpy, sullen and sad. “Do you know someone in the show?”

She cleared her throat. “My best friend; my roommate. Addie,” she pointed in the brochure showing a picture of her that she had to submit a week ago and they spent hours going over photos of her.

She watched him look at her picture. For a moment it was like looking in a mirror. She knew what Carter saw because she experienced it every time that she looked at Harry. Unwittingly, she had just shown Carter the first image of his soulmate.

“Oh... oh wow... she’s... she’s like... really pretty,” he swallowed his eyes widening, drinking in her portrait like she was the only thing that mattered. “Sorry,” he shook his head and turned away briefly. When he turned back to continue the conversation, he had a bright smile on his face. But she was already mentally gushing about the way he had fallen for her friend just from a mere headshot in a program. “My sister did dance for years and I’m really far away from home so I thought I would come check it out. I used to complain about all the recitals, but now I miss them. Isn’t that weird, how you take it for granted?”

She didn’t feel like talking. Especially about things that were taken for granted. She had spent most of the day packing up her dorm room and scouring Facebook Marketplace for cheap furniture. She and Addie were going to as many thrift stores and yard sales this weekend as it took to furnish their two-bedroom place. She was tired and overwhelmed.

Maybe I should suggest blow-up furniture.

But Carter clearly wanted to chat, and they still had a few minutes until the show started. Obviously, he liked her friend already, so she needed him to like her because she couldn’t stand to lose another person in her life. Even of her own doing. “Yeah,” she sighed. “It’s like you... you forget all the little things,” she murmured. “Like I remember the big things, like the hugs and the vacation memories, all the popcorn we shared at the movies...” She smiled fondly. “You don’t remember like the way they left the kitchen a mess or shoes by the door covered with snow.”

“Yeah... yeah, exactly,” he smiled sadly. “Do you have a sister?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I... I had some really close friends though. We... I,” she swallowed. Admitting it was all her fault, out loud, was an entirely different thing. “I left them behind... because...” she shrugged. “Y’know.”

Carter watched her curiously for a moment. It was clear he didn't know. “The writing class—we’re in that writing class together,” he recognized.

Then she knew, he sat by the window. His partner incorrectly answered a lot of questions. “Oh, that’s right,” she nodded.

“Do you have any theories on who wrote that Jump thing? My partner in class and I have been trying to figure it out for months. It’s been published you know.”

She did know. She had been paid fifteen hundred dollars for its publication after Addie insisted that she submit it to a magazine two months ago. But she didn’t pay much mind to it. It hurt a lot. She thought about lying though. Maybe even saying it was Addie. She had two siblings at home and Carter was very cute. She would probably fall in love with him without even trying. She couldn’t wait to introduce them after the show. “Yeah, um... I actually... I wrote it.”

His eyebrows rose to the middle of his forehead. “Wow... wow,” he was staring at her like she did jump off the bridge she wrote about. “You know...that makes sense. I’ve never heard you talk, but... now, I’m not surprised... You speak the way you write.”

“How’s that?” She wondered curiously.

“It’s just... gentle, I guess,” he shrugged. “Like I feel like I want to tell you everything; I wanted to tell you everything after our professor read your story and I didn't know you,” he chuckled. “I met you what, three minutes ago? That's not normal.”

She smiled fondly. “I get that a lot.”

Harry told her all the time she was too nice—but not in a bad way. It was more so that she had an open, adorable face and just had the sweetest demeanor. You could talk a man into bed if y’wanted, kitten. He winked. Y’wouldn’t even have t’say anything; he would do all the talking.

Gently, he put his hand on her arm. “I hope you jump,” he said quietly, with a little squeeze as the curtain fell closed, and the lights dimmed. Her heart fluttered. He was meant for Addie.

“Can I introduce you to Addie after the show?” She whispered right as the emcee stood center stage with the microphone ready to get the show started.

“Good evening,” she said. "Our dancers--"

“Yeah?” He smiled so brightly she could see it in the dim light, whispering back to her. “That would be nice, thank you.”

Someone deserved a happily ever after anyway.

*

They were so destined for a happily ever after.

Carter wouldn’t leave her side. Brought her flowers every week and made sure she always had a jacket that he would carry in case it was cold. When she was studying, he would literally feed her dinner to make sure she had food in her stomach.

Their love was so pure she was jealous. She could only imagine how Harry would have taken care of her on nights she had to stay up all night. He probably would have turned the pages of her books or read to her out loud when her eyes were tired. Hell, he would have written essays for her only for her to rewrite them and correct them just for fun.

Carter helped them move their stuff from their dorm to the apartment, and then to the second apartment. Then when Addie’s parents’ friends asked if they would be willing to move to a different apartment so they could have an elderly couple move into the lower floor place he helped move them again.

“Hey gorgeous. How's my favorite matchmaker,” Carter winked at her as he walked into the apartment. He was a staple. So very much in love with Addie he walked in whenever he wanted and truly, she didn’t care. “Addie’s on her way home, I was going to make her mac and cheese, do you want some?”

God, Harry would love him.

“No thanks, I’ve got a shift in a bit. Just finishing my rough draft.”

“Awesome, well, let me know if I’m making too much noise.”

God, she loved him.

“Do you want... to hear it?” She asked. Harry used to read and listen to her poems and her prose. Her writing was like doodles on the edge of her notebooks but it felt like she was reading Harry a bedtime story. He would beg to hear something, anything. Sometimes she would just reread old stuff when she hadn’t written anything new, but he listened to it in awe like it was the first time he heard it anyway.

“Do you want to share?” He asked. Surprise coated his tone. He pulled the dishes out he was going to use and looked at her over the half wall between the kitchen and living room. “I’m game if you are. I just figured it was private.”

She ignored him and began to read. Recently she had been inspired to write about love that was hidden but love all the same. Something that Carter said back in the auditorium really resonated, made her want to write the way she used to. The way she wrote Jump. She talked about dance recitals that she hated and the way the people left muddy shoes on the floor. She wrote about how sometimes when she least expected it, she thought of the love that resided in the bathroom, a sticky note on the mirror telling her to have a good day. Putting a glass of water on the bedside table because she had a late night. Giggling at a message that was sent two days ago but made her smile as if it was sent a minute ago. How love was green eyes and dimples that always knew what to say even when she was down. She talked about love that was quiet and perfect because love didn’t need to be loud.

It took a moment to notice that it was silent in their apartment. She looked up and realized she couldn’t see Carter because her eyes were filled with tears. “Wow,” he murmured. “You’re uh...” he shook his head. “You’re going to write the world’s greatest love story,” he smiled.

She snorted, laughed, crying still. "Yeah...yeah, no..." she wiped below her eyes unable to say anything else.

Carter walked over to the couch, set her precious notebook on the coffee table that had a heart on the inside cover with someone's name she shouldn't have written any longer. Then she sat beside his favorite matchmaker. He rubbed her back and told her it would all be okay.

She thought about how she hadn’t seen the love of her life in 382 days but she felt it as if she had fallen in love for the first time yesteday.

The first year was the hardest. But at least she could write again.

It made the second and third years pass in the blink of an eye. Aching for a love that was in her notebooks and in her head.

*

Harry’s coworker was waiting for him outside the coffee shop. His shift was over, but he had plans to finish his latest creation that morning. A caffeine jolt would be just what he needed before he headed home.

“Hey Lauren,” he smiled sweetly.

“Hi Harry,” she answered with a bright smile. Her voice was cheerful, and it reminded Harry of the girl he wanted to hear from more than anything.

“Any word?”

There were plenty of coffee shops in town. But Lauren was extremely helpful in his need for information—or at least she tried. He just wanted to know she was okay. Lauren had worked there for as long as they were old enough to have jobs. While she was always just on the other side of Harry’s circle of friends, he thought that she could get away with seeing Lauren and Harry might not ever know. He chose this one coffee shop, slightly out of his way, because he thought maybe if she was passing through, it might be the one place she chose—just to see an old friend.

Lauren was extremely helpful at first. Harry had stopped by the shop shortly after Gemma had talked to him in the park. It seemed like fate that he would run into her. Tried reaching out to her, trying to help Harry figure out why. In the end, it amounted to nothing. Not a word came back.

“No word,” her voice was quieter. Like she felt bad that she hadn’t heard anything.

So, he stopped asking. But the habit of visiting Lauren, it made him feel closer to her. In some small way.

He had two trays of drinks that he brought to Louis and Eleanor’s place. They were situated around the coffee table, waiting for a football game to start on TV. It was quiet while they listened to the pregame show and Harry found Sarah staring at him. “What?” He asked.

“You can’t fall in love with Lauren,” Sarah said.

Everyone groaned and agreed with the sentiment.

“Jesus Christ,” Harry muttered as he took a sip of his drink.

“I would castrate you myself,” Eleanor assured him.

“M’not—”

“Harry wouldn’t do that,” Niall said defensively.

“Yeah, that was one of her best friends,” Mitch chimed in as well.

“I don’t—”

“I’m just saying,” Sarah said defensively. “I don’t want you to fall for Lauren just because she’s like her.”

Harry looked at his lap and shook his head. “M’not falling in love again,” he assured them. “As far as m’concerned... m’heart is taken.”

*

It was a stop light. The music beside him was loud. He scrolled through his phone aimlessly. Something he never did before she left. Why would he need to scroll when she was there? They created their own fun and entertainment. Now, it was the only thing that kept his tired mind occupied. Everything was to pass the time. He laughed when he was supposed to, smiled when he was supposed to. When he needed to move or help someone, he did.

But Harry was undecidedly different. He didn’t laugh the same way. He didn’t love the same anymore. How could he?

The music playing was a hit from ages ago—a song his mum loved and played a lot while he was growing up. If it wasn’t one of his favorites of his mum’s, he might not have looked up from his phone screen. But he did. Thank God, he did.

He dropped his phone. It clanked between his boots against the floor of the truck. His jaw fell slack. “Kitten?” He called instinctively. Her music was too loud, though. Plus, she was singing along. Tapping the steering wheel to the rhythm of the instruments behind the lyrics. Harry’s heart started to race. Like he was in a five-alarm fire. He opened the door without thinking and stepped into the stoplight traffic.

“Harry!” The light was still red, but it wouldn’t be for long. He knocked on her window causing her to jump and double-take as she looked toward him. It felt like Harry had sprinted a marathon in his gear. He was sweating, his breathing erratic.

How long had she been home? Was she home?

God, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.

It was like the Earth flipped back to the correct magnetic field. All the pieces of his splintered heart slammed back together. He was overwhelmed with love for her. The 1,127 days that he had counted without her hadn’t passed since he last saw her—it was just yesterday that he saw her, right? She looked the same, beautiful as ever. She smiled; it was small. Almost like she didn’t mean to smile but it was a reflex. Harry smiled back—a reflex of his own at the sight of her. She never failed to make him smile. Even in his memories, the good, the bad, the awful day she left, Harry couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her. His knuckles were still pressed to the window, refusing to move away from the piece of her that was finally physical and real in front of him. It felt like no time had passed. As if it was the very same day that she broke his heart, and they were just lucky to happen to bump into one another while running errands later that day.

“STYLES!” Shouted from behind him.

He blinked, the sound of horns honking returned. Her small smile disappeared, and she waved ever so slightly and started through the intersection. The line of cars beeping behind her. The line of cars behind the truck agitated and beeping as well behind his waiting partner.

Harry hopped back into the truck and watched her turn right at the next streetlight. As they passed the street, his eyes stayed glued to her turn, long after they passed the street. His coworker cleared his throat. “Was that...?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. The breath felt new; like he hadn’t really ever taken a deep breath in a really long time. As if he had been holding it for the last three years and he forgot what oxygen really felt like as it entered his lungs. “Yeah,” he repeated to himself.

--

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[pedge-page]

Joel dealing with Preggo Wife # 7: House Pet

Can be read with others in series or standalone

Warnings: unprotected sex, slight Daddy kink, suggestive of oral M receiving, annoying reader and annoyed Joel

18 + ONLY

- - - -

You watch one depressing commercial of shivering dogs left emaciated in the cold begging for love and care, and all the water in your entire body comes flooding out in tears.

“J-j-j"—snUFFF—“JOeeeOEeeeoelllLLLL!!!" You wail, wiping your snot on his shirt sleeve while curled up against him. “THEY NWEEEDDD MWEEEEE!!!!”

“You wanna donate?”

N-d—nooo--“sniffle—“wanna -wa-wanna aa-ad-ad-opt—“

He chuckles like its some obvious joke, but when he sees the absolute shine in your giant eyes staring pleadingly at him, he puts his foot down as gently as possible: “Honey, we can’t have a dog right now. With you—being like this, and a baby on the way, I’ve got enough on my plate as is. Wanna make sure you and babygirl are well taken care of first, okay?”

There’s a tense silence hanging in the air as you seize a breath in your throat. 

And then you’re LOSING IT, whining and crying like a child into his face.

“Jesus,” he mumbles softly, gently stroking your hair, hushing little shhhhh into your forehead and rocking you in his arms like a baby in a cradle— a giant baby stuffed with another baby currently rattling the emotions of the big baby.

 He's given you a cup of water for bed and tucking you in, picking up the litany of tissues tossed around you, while you refuse to quit your puffy eye’d and endless barrage of tears. 

By the next morning, swollen lids yet calm, he thought he’d heard the last of it last night. And you were doing much better mood wise—no cries, though a little cold shoulder to him. He gives you a few hours till you’re over it and asking for ice cream like nothing happened. 

Until now, five days later where every minute is just a retort to his face about getting a dog.

When you best friend comes over to give you extra baby clothes:

"Aww your girl named her puppy Winston? That's so adorable! Joel, ya hear that??” You peak loudly so he can hear from the kitchen. “Too bad I don’t have a puppy named Winston.”

"When you have our daughter, she can get a puppy named Winston"

"Oh! Already picking her over me for getting a dog?"

He rolls his eyes, tuning out to focus on making you biscuits that are too salty so you’ll have something else to whine about.

-

During movie night:

“…If only I had a dog to help keep my feet warm on the couch.”

He shovels a fist full of popcorn into his tilted back, wide mouth. “‘At’s what a blanket’s for.” he yanks your favorite soft one over your toes and keeps his eyes on the TV.

-

To the neighbor that just fucking moved in two weeks ago:

"Joel doesn't kiss me enough. If I had a dog, I wouldn't complain as much since the pup would love me unconditionally."

He grits his teeth, excusing himself to the bathroom.

-

At Tommy’s place for a Sunday BBQ:

“Bought the wood second hand—I re constructed our living room myself,” he says braggingly, drawing a beer from the cooler.

"Yeah, Tommy, it’s real nice.” You charm, and you can already see Joel's fist clench at his side. “Would look even better with a dog in the window."

-

“Wish I had a fluffy dog to cuddle instead of your big ass."

-

"My husband spoils me so much. He usually gets me anything I want without asking! Unless it's a dog ..."

-

Joel finishing adding furniture to the baby room.

"You know what else this room could use?” 

"A dog bed, a dog blanket, a dog.”

-

"If you say-one more-god damn thing-about the dog..." he huffs.

"What dog? We don't even have a dog."

"We don't-need one. Got a cat in the house already."

He thrusts in again with a grunt, your trail of thought disappearing for a second just as Joel’s fat cock penetrates you.

 The two of you are lying sideways on the bed, his chest pressed flush against your back. With your leg just barely propped up with his masculine arm hooked under your knee, a hand splayed protectively over your big belly, he has enough room to slot his length into your achy sopping cunt, slowly fucking you with harsh little jolts. You grip the back of his neck, fingers clutched in his sweaty locks, feeling his hot breath dampening your collar. 

He lets out a pained hiss. “This lil pussy right here is all the animal I can handle now. Now quit it.”

His hips begin to crash lightly over your ass, rutting his tip deeper into you with muffled slaps. He loves the sight of your now largely grown thighs jiggling with each impact. Loves the feeling of your swollen breasts suffocating his other hand. Loves the knowledge of his wife so stuffed full of him for everyone to see. 

You moan lightly, clenching around him at the leisure, unhurried yet pent up pleasure coursing through you. But your mind wonders again. “If you don't want a rescue we can get a certain breed: How about a malnoise? Or something smaller like a corgi? Or aussie. Oh Pitties are so cute!"

He rolls his eyes, nose buried in your hair. How are you even able to have a coherent conversation right now while he's rearranging your guts? Rather than hushing you with another quit it, he decides to entertain you. "Jesus woman. Ain't pitties all mean?"

"Nooooo —mmm baby, right there—“ you whine, panting in sync as you lowly try to hump him back. “Protective, intimidating looking.” You smile, mouth agape and eyes closed when he hits that sweet spot deep inside.  “Just—like you, big ol sweethearts…Who give their wives exactly what they fucking want—like a dog."

“Christ.” The hand from under your leg glides over your wet clit, his rough digits rubbing fast circles while his other free arm  unfolds from under your throat to grip it lightly. His knees bend so he can rock just his hips with ferocious power, railing with the intent to fuck you so dumb, you can’t help but shut up. “One more peep and I'm switching us up and gonna fuck you like one.”

You really didn’t want to —resorting to this lounging position because your back hurt too much to be fucked doggy, and the baby weighed too heavily to ride him. Thank God his cock was fucking huge—it could reach deep into you at any position. No fucking wonder you got pregnant so easily. 

“no- no Daddy, I'll be good," you hum. "Unfff—mmm-yeah—yeah! Fuuuck—fuck me baby that’s it!” You shout. Joel’s hand works endlessly on your little nub, now at the mercy of his ministrations to get you off since you can’t reach yourself anymore. You grip your belly and cry, walls convulsing around his meat with a much needed orgasm. Joel follows suit not too long after, biting your shoulder as his hips still against your ass, pumping you full of his pearly cum.

The two of you stay in the same position, breathing heavily as you come down from your respective highs. 

His eyes close, breath slowing and getting deeper in relaxation as his fingers lightly dance over your swole bump.

You feel the gentle cooling breeze of the fan spinning above you. Sighing contently now filled with your husband’s love and caressed with his tender hands. 

 “…So I was thinking, when we get a dog..."

"WE ARE NOT GETTIN’ A DOG AND THAT’S FINAL."

-

Tommy comes over and can tell something is up between you two.  When Joel leaves the room, he asks "so what is it this week with Joel?"

"He won't get me--what do you mean THIS week??"

"Nothing nothing, he won't get you a what?"

"A dog. I want a dog. He doesn’t want a dog. So I don’t understand why he can’t compromise and get a dog.”

He laughs. “Honey, cuz that’s not a compromise. You know why he won't get you one, right?"

"Cuz he doesn't want to take care of me, a baby, and the dog at the same time"

"Nah. He's worried you'll only want the dog’s affection, and the baby gets the rest of your attention. Then you won’t have anything left for him.”

“…Oh!"

-

Later that night, Joel is still steaming from your earlier conversation after sex, having no regard for listening to another thing you had to say the rest of the day. You waddle into the bedroom, looking apologetic as possible with your hands held behind your back. He only looks up from the bed to see you: in his large T shirt with nothing else, freshly lavender scented from your bath, and big pleading child-like eyes full of sorrow. He purses his lips before returning to his book, glasses perched on his nose.

You approach Joel with an apology gift that you hid behind your back: a stuffed wolf.

He smiles gently unable to even pretend to hold his temper against you. you kiss the tip of his nose as he caresses your smoothed bump. “You're my favorite dog anyway,” you say warmly. “Needy. Grumpy. Likes food. Gives me kisses."

“Thought I didn’t give ya enough kisses? Least that’s what you told neighbor.”

“That was—a lie.” You bat your eyes cutely. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“Mmmm,” is all he says, his eyes raking over your curves just barely covered now due to your size. “I don’t know, Daddy might need more apologies — ya did treat me real bad this week.”

You hum sadly, nuzzling yourself against his chest. your hand trails down his firm middle, all the way to the growing tent sticking up from his boxers.

“I can lick it better,” you whisper seductively in his ear, nipping at his pulse point.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

And after one of your famous deep throated blow job with Joel's balls happily emptied in your already full belly, he leans over to his side table and pulls the drawer open, holding something tight in his hand.

You just barely stop yourself from falling asleep with your head on his lap when he dangles a dog collar above your head. You sit up, inspecting it with grubbing hands: it has your home address etched on to the metal plate, but no name on it. 

“What you want me to be your dog? I’ll wear the collar but I’m not getting on my knees, nor crawling around and drinking from dog bowls  and shitting in the yard—“

“No angel,” he shushes you. Although the image of you wearing the collar, naked and heavily pregnant on your knees in front of him wasn’t a bad idea at all…he shakes his head from the delusion. ”Aint for you. Thought about it—but ONLY after have the baby and are settled, and ya know IF —and that’s a mighty big if—we find one that’s not too rough shape, got a good sense about ‘im, then MAYBE I’ll consider it.”

"Oh my god! Thank you! Thankyouthankyou--"

"I said IF sweetheart. Got along road ahead till then."

"I'll give you as many blow jobs as you want."

"You already do that for yourself."

"Yeah but... how about I sit on your face? Fully?"

His ears perk up. "Yeah?"

"After the baby is born," you quip, smirking with more confidence then your swollen body can muster trying to wiggle away from his grasp like a devious chubby oompa lumpa. He just laughs to himself as you slip down the bed, and the sudden urge to pee has you B-lining to the bathroom.

- - - -

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[soapsbaby]

Ghost / Soap / Reader heacanons

Idea: Soap, Ghost and the reader are in a poly relationship Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, afab reader Rating: 18+ (minors DNI) Themes: Submissive reader, humiliation, praise, mask, overstimulation, threesomes, oral sex, dp mention, just general N S F W themes Word count: 700ish

You haven’t even dated for that long but you are already sure that they are the ones for you, just for how easily you get along and how taken care of you feel by them. You know you can talk about anything with them.

They rarely get jealous of each other, considering that you have more than enough love to give to both of them, but they certainly get competitive when it comes to pleasing you. More than once they have turned you into a shaking mess because one had to prove to the other how many times they could make you cum and how much faster they could do it than the other.

Simon is more ruthless with you while Johnny makes sure you get praised and are taken care of (not that Simon doesn’t do that, he just doesn’t do so as vocally as Johnny does.) I know he’s big, but look how well you are taking him. You’re doing so well, being so pretty for us. Simon, look how pretty she looks. Tell her how good she is, Simon. Simon usually isn’t very vocal, but he will always follow Johnny’s orders to praise you.

Double penetration is, well, almost impossible considering their sizes, but you’re working on it. Usually now they take turns or one takes your pretty mouth while the other gets to fuck your pussy.

All three of you prefer if all of you are present, but at times when one of you is not in the mood it can just be two of you. It can be you alone with one of the boys, but Simon and Johnny adore each other as well and can make do without you too.

They know you have a thing for their uniforms so they often do you the favor of keeping them on. Some of your favorite times of having sex with them is if they just came home from work, sweaty and riled up and you were their toy to fuck their frustrations out on. You never mind when they do.

They love leaving you covered in marks before missions, bruises, hickeys, bite marks, whatever you can think of. Don’t want you to forget about us, hm?

All three of you are the type to send suggestive pictures to one another when you have to be apart. Simon sends dick pics, Johnny is the type to sneak away so he can send videos of him jerking off, moaning your name. You also love sending them whatever you can to get them riled up and frustrated and ready to ruin you when they finally get home. 

They get super possessive of you whenever anyone tries to approach you. You can imagine what would happen if you are at a club and someone disrespects you and your two guard dog boyfriends come up to you, hands on your shoulders, a cold smile on their lips. Need some help, baby?

They like showing you off, their pretty girl in a dress they chose for you, sitting on their laps in public so everyone can see who you belong to and that you are off limits for everyone else. One specialty of them is having you sit in Johnny`s lap, him kissing down your neck while Simon gets to make out with you.

They adore teasing you until you are just begging for them to fuck you, be it casually touching you or just whispering things into your ear until you are on the verge of tears because you want them so badly. Soap is usually the one to give in first, he can’t resist his sweet girl while Ghost is the one who keeps you waiting for longer. He simply gets too much pleasure out of seeing you begging and desperate. 

Aftercare with them is heaven. Imagine being sandwiched by the two men you are head over heels in love with, telling you that you are their perfect girl that they’d do anything for and how well you did. If you are too tuckered out they’ll completely take care of you, carry you to the bathroom, clean you up and give you a bath and then afterwards cuddle up in bed with you, showering you in kisses.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Hiii :)

Do you have any Harry headcanons ?

In the previous episodes: Headcanons about the Potter kids and Teddy Headcanons about Ginny

Now, some Harry headcanons:

His favourite colour is red but that's basically canon

Called the big black dog he and Ginny adopted "Pad" (in reference to Padfoot of course), literally the only animal he managed to name out of all the zoo they have in the house

Canonically he becomes Head Auror at 27, around the same time Lily was born, so I think it happened for a similar reason to Ginny changing her job. Harry loves being in the action and it definitely wasn't his last opportunity to become Head Auror, but basically never going in the field and generally having way more stable hours meant having way more time for the kids

After the war, he discovers that there's an actual Potter vault at Gringrotts he started having access to at 17. There he finds, besides more money, a lot of family heirlooms, diaries, and things taken from the cottage and so he starts discovering more about the Potter family.

When Ginny goes back to Hogwarts, Harry doesn't exactly have the easiest time dealing with her absence. So once he understands that drinking himself to death might not be a great idea he decides to keep himself extremely busy. Obviously, Auror's training helps, but also he spends a lot of time with Teddy and, inspired by what he finds in the Potter vault, he starts investigating his family, finding distant relatives or simply people who knew his parents and grandparents and maybe even great-grandparents. Not only from the Potter side but the Evans one too. He writes to Ginny about it and it becomes a sort of game where she suggests places to check (especially with her pureblood knowledge of the wizarding world) and many of the people Harry meets become inside jokes between them, like some sort of characters

Lily has him wrapped around her little finger. In his defence, she looks just like her mother, what is he supposed to do??

He is like ridiculously good at his job? Especially when he comes to terms with the fact that he can be very intimidating and starts using that with purpose

He is the one that cooks usually, a sort of reappropriation of the activity after his childhood. Now he does it for the people he loves and that very much love him back.

When the kids are all at Hogwarts, he decides that he needs another hobby besides cooking. I've always imagined gardening because it's an open-air activity and it's very methodical and therefore relaxing. Maybe he starts keeping a vegetable garden.

Robards is absolutely the new addition to his collection of father figures.

When he becomes Head of the DMLE, he gets as secretary a very competent, very grumpy, lady that is old enough to be his mother. Harry adores her because she doesn't give a fuck about him being Harry Potter and when she retires he is grumpy about it for months.

On this note, Harry takes Ron leaving the Aurors as a bit of a personal offence. He gets over it eventually but oh, he definitely complains about it

The Auror partner he has for years is a guy ten years older than him, that already has a wife and very young kids when Harry meets him, so he becomes a bit of an older brother to Harry [I hate when people give Harry no new friends in the Aurors, the man works there for a billion years]. The Potters are all friends with this other family, they have dinners together once in a while, the kids are invited to the others' birthdays, stuff like that

When Ginny plays for the Harpies he is the only guy in the group at parties. The only players with a partner are a couple of older married women that don't usually go to parties, all the younger girls are young and single so they basically adopt Harry as a brother and ask him for advice with the guys (to Ginny's great amusement and Harry's horror) but he actually grows into the role

As much as he hates to admit it, one thing he learns from hanging out with Quidditch players is how easier it is to be friends with other famous people than non-famous ones

He teaches his kids how to duel because he is paranoic and also there's nothing more Harry Potter-like than teaching your kids in borderline illegal ways despite being Head Auror

He has some quirks that come very clearly from being raised by Petunia, like being a bit of a neat freak. In general, he needs some things in the house to be done in a certain way

When he eventually retires, he picks up some cases here and there as a private investigator, mainly because I think it would be hilarious for him to be in competition with a department he led for years

In short, grandpa/great-grandpa/great-great-grandpa Harry has Harry's idea of a perfect life: he spends a lot of time with the grandchildren, he has his vegetable garden, he has fun solving only the more interesting mysteries, he goes to events to support his writer wife, and they have a fun trip once in a while

[arece]

Hi bestie 🙃 I was wondering if I could request the reader comforting John. My man went through so much I think he deserves to feel loved and comforted. You can take this request which ever way you want. I'm just a sucker for hurt/comfort. Also I love your writing style very much 💕❤️‍🩹

I'm Sorry

♤ Summary: John feels like he isn't doing right by you. Luckily you reassure him, even if it's unknowingly. The masterlist

♤ a/n: This feels like a short mess and I can't tell if I hate it or not. I apologize if you think it's trash, my brain failed me. Apparently I'm not as good at comfort as I thought I was.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

Three years since John had taken you in, you’d like to think you’ve settled into some sort of routine of normalcy - well as normal as it can get considering John’s occupation. An unconventional family of three.

That was until you noticed the struggle John was going through, one he was trying hard to hide from you, ultimately failing. It seems that leaving retirement from the underworld is hitting him harder than he had originally thought. It made you feel slightly guilty.

But that wasn’t the entire truth. John sat on his bed, picture frame in hand. He tightly gripped onto the photo of Helen, feeling lost for the first time since her death. He felt conflicted, of course he grew attached to you, he’d do anything for you, but was this the right life for a seventeen year old?

Helen would know what to do. Without her he has to make it up as he goes along and he can’t help but feel like he’s failing. He left this life for Helen and now here he is dragging you with him into it.

He could see your admiration for him, he felt horrible that you looked up to the violent atrocities that he committed. He felt himself becoming somebody he isn’t, someone his Helen would despise, someone only you could want. 

“John?” He looked up to see you hesitantly lingering by the doorway, Dog by your feet. You’ve grown so much and he’s trying to convince himself that it’s for the better, but all he can see is that terrified fourteen year old begging him not to let her go.

He nods for you to come in, placing the picture frame on his bedside table. You sat beside him, both staring at the photo of Helen, “she was really pretty.” Her smile so carefree, you can’t imagine John sharing it with her.

“She was.” You slowly reached for his hand, waiting to see any sign of discomfort, grasping onto it when you saw none. “I think,” your voice slightly wavered, “she would be proud of you.” He glanced at you in confusion.

You flustered, afraid of over suggesting your importance to him, “you saved me, from more than just the Spade’s.” When you squeezed his hand he understood the rest of the words you were unable to say. You saved me from being alone.

You didn’t see the monster as he saw himself, no Baba Yaga, just John. Your John. The man who took you in, promising to fill out every parental role you’ve never had fulfilled before, swearing to never leave you behind.

I’m not going anywhere, he told you just a year before when you still suffered from nightmares. 

You made a move that caught you both off guard but didn’t want to take back, leaning your head against his shoulder. Words didn’t need to be shared between you two often, you’ve noticed. You somehow managed to connect with the infamous John Wick enough to speak through solely actions.

He wrapped an arm around you, huffing a laugh when Dog came rubbing against both your legs in jealousy. You patted the mattress and she jumped up, resting her head across both of your laps. 

It was an odd sort of comfort John hadn’t experienced before, with you he found a type of love he never thought he’d get to experience. It made him hold you all that much tighter, fearing there would come a time he’d have to let you go.

But that time wasn’t now and he noticed how you had fallen asleep on him, arm clutching onto him tightly. His fear may eventually become reality but for now he’ll keep making it up as he goes, getting lost with you.

As long as you were happy with him he had to be doing something right. He laid you down on the bed beside him, gently tucking you in. As he brushed your hair from your face you slightly stirred.

You grabbed onto his wrist, “I’m not going anywhere.” For the first time it sounded like a statement instead of a question. John finally felt like he had done something right, making you feel safe enough, making you feel like he could be your home.

“You and me kid,” he affirmed.

⋯♤⋯♧⋯♢⋯

taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @tamnight  @hesvoid34 @scarletmeii @romanreignsluver1 @wi1steria @not-a-big-slay @howlerwolfmax @mizzy-pop @sarapaprikas-blog @angrykitsune01

[voltronisanobsession]

Platonic Yandere! Voltron x Reader

These are my first headcanons I’ve uploaded so they might be a little all over the place and unorganized💀💀 but anyways hope you guys enjoy?

I don’t know if having all of them obsessed with you is a good thing or a bad thing

On one side, they’d be willing to do anything in order to protect you

But on the other, there’s literally no way you’re ever getting away from them, not with the defenders of the universe being your personal guard dogs

You had to have been friends with at LEAST one of them before finding the blue lion and I’m feeling Pidge was the first one to have been the starting catalyst

So once you’ve met everyone else, something just clicked in their brains

Your whole being was just so comforting and familiar for them that they didn’t even realize their feelings towards you becoming twisted

You wouldn’t be able to go anywhere by yourself

Feel like eating something? Good thing Hunk’s tagging along, maybe he’ll make you a tasty meal

Need to train in the training deck? Well, Keith feels like his fighting skills are getting a little rusty

Want to look over the star chart? Luckily Coran and Pidge are right there to help you understand some of the patterns

Want to get some rest in your room? Allura’s already suggesting you guys should have a slumber party in her room!

You won’t get any time to yourself, not with one of them breathing down your neck

There will always be one of them right next to you wherever you are

Like they’re clinginess is unreal💀 some will make their clingy needs obvious (LANCE, Hunk, Coran) while the others will be a bit more discreet about it (Shiro, Keith, Pidge)

I feel like Allura would be in between

But despite this, none of them are willing to take the risk of you roaming around outside the castle

You could try and run from them, maybe the aliens on the planets they visit will want to keep you for themselves, or the galra might show up and start attacking!

Because of that lingering fear, missions are usually done with you back in the safety of the castle with Coran and Allura (if she hasn’t begun piloting the lion yet)

They’re usually left on babysitting duties with you which they don’t honestly mind…

All of them would be SUPER overprotective of you to the absolute MAX, telling you the castle was the only place that could keep you safe

If they aren’t around that is

Being around them in the castle begins to feel more an obligation, and you feel more like a prisoner

Which is why you prefer Shiro out of all of them because he’s the only one who gives you some amount of freedom

Shiro understands what it’s like to be kept as a prisoner and understands just how restricting your situation is

He definitely tries to work out some negotiation with you

To make up for the others obsessive need to constantly be around you, he forces them to chill out and just let you be

Kind of like a schedule of some sort

With Shiro’s light supervision, you can finally take a moment for yourself without having to worry about the lingering eyes you’ve felt since leaving earth

Just don’t take advantage of Shiro’s kindness because the little privacy he’s given you can easily be taken away and you’d be back at stage one with the group hogging for your attention

Because this group is diverse in personalities, it can be extremely draining having to deal with them all on a daily basis

Lance and Keith fight for your attention, Lance being more loud and open about it

It’s like a tug of war situation with them, constantly having them bicker over who gets to hangout with you and fighting for that right

“Hey y/n, I say we make a break for it. You, me, we’ll make a great pair just saving the universe!”

“You really think they want to spend time with you?? I think y/n was on their way to the training deck right?”

It’s exhausting to say the least

Having Pidge run on and on about programs she’s working on can be draining and you often find yourself dozing off until she wakes you up, forcing you to listen to her rants and programs she’s currently working on again

(Definitely has some sort of tracker on you, everybody knows about it except you)

I feel like Hunk wouldn’t be as bad as the others but he does force you to cook with him in the kitchen, constantly wanting your inputs and needing compliments, not allowing you to leave until you’ve taste tested all of his new dishes

Manipulates you into staying with him by saying no one appreciates his cooking💀 makes you feel bad so you reluctantly stay in your seat

Allura and Coran…

They have never felt such intense feelings for a person before, so it really throws them off once they’ve developed their twisted version of affection for you

Their planet was destroyed and now that they finally found a home in you, they’re both willing to do anything in order to keep you in the safety of their arms

“Y/n just the person I was looking for! I need your help in running some tests for me”

“Ah y/n there you are! I was starting to get worried when I didn’t find you with the others,,”

Shiro plans on keeping and protecting the innocence he saw in you when you guys first met

Definitely gives overprotective dad vibes

He’ll be forceful with you if you try and do anything dangerous, like trying to go out on missions or even trying to escape them

I don’t think escaping is even possible tbh, they all kinda desperate ngl💔

Overall, this group is dead set on keeping you with them

It doesn’t really matter what you want because you don’t really understand the true dangers the universe can throw at you

They just want to keep you safe and happy

As long as you follow along with their rules and requests, living in the castle with this group won’t be as terrible as compared to you constantly fighting against them

That won’t be well received by either of them, especially Allura and Shiro

[bonny-kookoo]

Hi Bonny!

I've read the Jungkook x Husky!reader and I absolutely loved it!! She's so cute and tiny I'm crying

Was she there in In The SOOP series? I thought it would be so cute if she was, interacting with the members (and Bam), and being her natural self

If you think she was there and if you have time, can we see a few bits you think would happen if she was there?

She was there in both seasons of the soop AND last season of Bon Voyage!

---

Left. Right. Left. Right.

Jungkook chuckles to himself as he watches you play with the automated camera, tail wagging every time it follows you with its robotic gaze. It's small moments like that that are just so endearing to him, things that you don't even notice.

But they burn itself into everyone's minds, forever captured as key memories to be remembered when times get rough.

Jimin is a bit confused watching Jungkook stand there until the youngest quietly points at you- prompting the other singer to pull out his phone and record it to keep in his gallery as a captured memory. He posts a shortened version on social media, fans all cooing over your cuteness in a manner that he can completely agree with.

You later on run around with Bam playing a game of tag while everyone else is occupied- Seokjin playfully joining in the game after a moment, chasing after both you and the puppy across the grass of the yard, laughter and barking echoing around while the other members watch fondly.

It's not something that's to be taken lightly. Things could've turned out way differently.

And considering that at first, no one was really convinced this would work out, some even against the whole idea of this initial PR-stunt, everyone now loves you dearly, not only as a companion or friend. There's deeper emotions connecting them to you, and you know it-

You're just not sure if you're reading the signs correcting.

So instead of potentially ruining something great, you take what you get, and don't ask for more. It's fine like that, this life something you've never thought you'd live, surrounded by so many people you love every single day.

When you accidentally trip, both the dog and the eldest immediately run to you, Jin, helping you sit right away to assess any potential damage, immediately switching to reassurance and calming. "It's okay. Does anything hurt badly?" He wonders, finding nothing potentially broken or otherwise severely injured, noticing you trembling already. Years ago, he would've freaked out- but he knows you. It's just the shock of the moment freaking you out a little.

A concerned Jungkook joggs towards you with Taehyung behind him, while the rest have walked to the porch to watch the scene unfold.

You shake your head at Jin, before he cleans your knees a little from the dirt, noticing you've scratched them open a bit, but nothing else.

"Lets get out of the rain." Taehyung suggests, and everyone agrees, Jungkook immediately offering a piggyback ride to you. You laugh, and hold onto him as he races back to the house.

"Jungkook don't run, she literally just fell!" Yoongi scolds a little, before getting a towel to dry you off.

At the end of it all, the little incident is quickly forgotten after a big meal and a resulting nap together, with the actual puppy on the floor at Hoseoks feet, while you're dead asleep with your head on Yoongi's thigh on the couch-

house quiet for the moment, until you both wake up again to fill the rooms with happiness once more.

[strangedreamings]

S2E6 (spoilers abound)

Do we have to see Jaehaerys' body in the opening credits every week now?

Hi, Jason! Glad to see you're just as full of yourself as ever. He doesn't want to make a move without Aemond and Vhagar. Wow, and here I thought Tyland got all the brains.

"I am the Prince Regent, not a dog to be called to heel." Honey, you're both, and the sooner you can accept that, the happier all of us will be.

Ironrod suggests marrying Alicent to the Red Kraken (the current Lord Greyjoy). Dude, who do you think you are, Otto Hightower?

"The longer we wait, the more chance (Daemon) will prevail." No, no, keep waiting -- Alys and the curse of Harrenhal will drive him completely mad soon enough.

"My uncle is a challenge I welcome, if he dares to face me." I don't know how to break this to you, Aemond, but this crush of yours is not reciprocated.

Aemond fires Alicent from the Small Council and is a misogynistic dick about it. Alicent accuses him of still being angry about losing an eye. Honey, you're the one who wanted his nephew's eye taken in revenge, where did you think talk like that would lead?

Corlys wearing his Hand of the Queen pin. It looks good on you, dude.

Ah, the Sowing of the Dragonseeds. Rhaenyra's desperation for additional dragonriders is going to get a bunch of people killed or maimed.

The Small Council knows she is reaching and for fucking once, I agree with them. Maybe they'd take her seriously if she didn't sound like she was talking to her younger children.

Ser Steffon has so little Targ blood in him that it's not going to matter. Rhaenyra, this is such a dumb idea.

"Then perhaps the gods will favor us." Not unless the writers are going off-book (again).

Hi, Daemon. Which dead family member are you going to see tonight?

And he's back in the throne room, lovely. "The Heir for a Day" shit again? That must be really pressing on Daemon's conscience now that Viserys is dead.

Speaking of, hi, Viserys! Good to see you in (relative) health again. I hope HBO is paying all these cameo actors well, they all seem to be having a blast tormenting Daemon again (who looks truly devastated right now). HBO, you'd better be getting Matt's For Your Consideration campaign ready for next year's Emmys.

Ooo, a Rhea mention, even if we don't see her! I'll take it.

It's entirely possible that none of this is actually Alys or the curse's doing -- Daemon's conscience has more than enough fodder to torment him with. He hurt his brother, all three of his wives, and his daughters. It's about time all of that bothered him.

"...Stop watching me." And you still think you're fit to take KL by yourself? You're never leaving the Riverlands, Daemon.

"Daemon Targaryen asking for help?" "Counsel." He's losing his mind one night at a time but dammit, he's still got his wit.

"In three days' time, the winds will shift." Grover Tully is gonna die.

It's so dark in this cave that I can't tell which dragon that is. In the book, Steffon attempts to ride Seasmoke. Oh, it is Seasmoke. Thank God somebody said his name because he looks nearly black in the darkness.

"Do not show fear." Too late, Steffon is freaking the fuck out.

Just burn/eat him already, the tension is driving me nuts.

Is that dragontamer seriously just holding a long stick? Against a giant fire-breathing flying reptile?

Finally! Holy shit, that took FOREVER.

The Hull brothers are so goddamn hot. But don't think I didn't notice, Ryan, that the first person we see after Seasmoke's little barbecue is Addam. :P

So, is this madam TRYING to start a rebellion or what? "And his rightful heir denied her seat." Yep, she's trying.

"You have forgotten to fear me." You're going to have to do more than slap him, Rhaenyra.

Oh, the madam is working for Mysaria, got it. This really could work.

"This becomes you." Yeah, a sword in her hand so she can actually do her own fighting. Too bad nobody taught her how to use it.

Didn't the French Revolution start because of a famine? The smallfolk don't care who's on the throne as long as their bellies are full.

Oh Dear God, Otto as Hand to Aemond? Well, at least those Small Council meetings won't be boring.

Aemond's going to smother Aegon II with a pillow, I just know it. Aegon whimpers when he sees Aemond and you can't blame him. TGC is killing it with the agony, he needs a For Your Consideration campaign too.

"I remember nothing." I don't believe you and, unfortunately, Aemond doesn't either.

Rhaena and Joffrey come across a scorched area but they're in the Vale, who could've done that? Now she's in Aegon III and Viserys II's nursery with the boys and a baby dragon that I assume is Aegon's Stormcloud. Cute little dragon.

"You hate it here." Jeyne, you're not doing a damn thing to change her mind.

"Wild." So, are we talking Grey Ghost, the Cannibal, or Sheepstealer? Fuck, I guess this means the Rhaena-Nettles fusion rumor is true, if the wild dragon is Sheepstealer.

Rhaenyra is sending care packages to the people of KL. I fucking LOVE this!

Dammit, I don't want to like Gwayne Hightower but the actor has been making that fucking difficult. "He's kind." The delivery of that, you can tell Gwayne knows that's what Alicent wants to hear.

Rioting in the streets over Rhaenyra's care packages. Okay, maybe this was a bad idea, but it's certainly sowing rebellion.

Larys was born at Harrenhal? That explains SO MUCH. Him aligning himself with Aegon II is interesting and he's right, Aemond wants to kill his brother. Let's see where this goes.

Daemon's vision again. Looks like Aemma's death, great. I truly think Daemon loved Viserys, he was just too self-centered to express that love properly.

"Lord Grover is dead." Called it! Oh, Alys absolutely fucking killed him.

Addam and Seasmoke. Seasmoke misses Laenor and he can presumably tell that Addam is Laenor's kinsman (half-brother).

Is Seasmoke LAUGHING at Addam?

Holy fucking shit, I did not appreciate that jump scare!

Mysaria's backstory is fucking dark, even for GRRM.

Well, this is a ship I never thought I'd see on this show. I don't ship it but I'm sure there are fans out there who are absolutely thrilled right now.

Rhaenyra on Syrax, there's something we haven't seen in a while.

They're ending the episode there? We know it's Addam on Seasmoke, this isn't exactly news to the audience. Bah.

Preview for next week. "With these dragons, peace will be restored." *laughs from having read "Fire and Blood"* And they call Helaena a Dreamer.

[hugsandchaos]

I don’t know what exactly I made here, but it’s angst, and it’s pretty short. And no, I won’t apologize.

V looked outside the window of their landing pod, her eyes widening when she saw just how bad the weather was outside. She heard the howling wind when she woke up, it was the loudest breeze she’s ever heard, and with how bad it looked outside, she didn’t expect to spot a lamppost. It seemed frozen to the ground, but it still swayed in the wind and threatened to topple with creaks that didn’t reach her audio receptors. Despite feeling as if she was speechless, V spoke up.”I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” She said.

J blinked and was pulled back to reality, away from her mind formulating plans and ideas on how to handle things from here (things like how they’re going to keep the pod’s fuel up and get food somehow), and looked over at her girlfriend.”You have nothing to apologize for. I had to make the decision to speak up and get sent with you.” She said, standing up from the floor and walking over to V. She put an arm around her and held her close. Still, V couldn’t help but feel guilt for what she did. No more than 25 hours ago, they were working in the manor and being scolded by Louisa, as usual. When she threatened to send them to Copper 9 if they screwed up again, something inside of V snapped.

Hearing the name “Copper 9” reminded her of one of the friends she’s made in the manor, one who was often too nice for his own good. She remembered watching N read books to Cyn as she fell asleep and spar with J to help her get better, and she remembered the look on his face when it was discovered how much of a natural he was in a fight. She remembered the times N would lie and stick up for her, Cyn, J, Tessa, and even drones he didn’t know. She remembered his endless rants about different dog breeds and how happy he was talking about them. For a time, she even believed herself to be developing a crush on him, but that was long gone. And so was N. V was also reminded of that day he was suddenly taken away by the company for some sort of experiment. That was the last they’ve ever heard of him.

V suddenly started yelling and shouting at Louisa, even going as far as to throw a pan at her. J tried to stop her, but not even V could do that now that the dam had been broken. In the end, she was put in cuffs and her punishment was to be sent to Copper 9, and J exclaimed that V wouldn’t be going anywhere without her. V knew that J loved her, but she still could hardly believe her audio receptors when she said that. Because of her outburst, she was sent along with V. And now V felt like a terrible girlfriend for getting her sent with her to some frozen, desolate city wasteland.

V turned to J and hugged her. She wanted to cry and apologize over and over, but nothing came out. J already knew, anyways. She hugged back and briefly used one hand to fix V’s hair in an attempt to help her calm down.”Come on, let’s just sit down and think about what we’re going to do, okay?” She suggested. V soon nodded in agreement and the hug was broken so they could walk back to where they were sitting before. Once they sat down, J once again embraced V and pulled her close. V leaned her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around her as she began to rub her back.”We’ll be okay, I promise.” J whispered. V didn’t understand how she could be this calm, but then again, she might not actually be calm. J might be just as panicked as V was, but still trying to find a solution for their problem instead of worrying about it like she often did. Little by little, the howling winds began to fade into the background as V began to slowly calm down, distracted by J’s silent reassurance.

THUD

J and V both looked up at the ceiling as if they’d somehow see through the roof. The thud wasn’t the loudest thing, but since it was right above them, they heard it clearly through the blizzard. They both went quiet. The pod was strong, but not that strong. If something big had hit them, they’d need to leave the pod at some point. The best bet was probably to wait until the blizzard stopped or at least slow down enough for them to run to somewhere more stable. Then, they heard something else. Something that threw the idea out the window, along with any other ideas they were going to come up with to hopefully get it off.

Footsteps.

Something crawled along the roof of the pod, towards the door. Quickly, J sprinted to the door and locked it, stepping back as she heard the faint whirring sound of the lock, followed by an audible click. Thank goodness she did that because soon, whatever it was on the roof jumped off of the pod and landed directly in front of the window to the left of the door. J stepped to the window and tried to look outside, but all she caught of whatever was out there was a vaguely rectangular shaped yellow light moving up and down in a similar motion to a snake slithering, then disappearing to the right of the window. Directly in front of the door.

J took slow steps back something attempted to open the door on the outside. It only tried once, slowly twisting the knob, then turning it back and releasing it when it realized it was locked. It was as if it wanted to go undetected, or maybe it just wanted to toy with them. J continued backing up until she stood in front of V and shifted into a more defensive stance in front of her. V glanced nervously between J and the door and reached for J’s hand with her own. When she felt V touch her hand, she reached that hand back to let her hold it for comfort while still trying to keep herself look unapproachable. Incase that thing suddenly broke down the door and got inside to attack them.

They both heard a very faint whirring or buzzing sound, the sound of a chainsaw. Almost immediately, a spot on the door began to pop off small bits and pieces before the head of the chainsaw broke through. V had to cover her mouth to prevent herself from screaming. The chainsaw cut throw the door slowly and smoothly, practically gliding along the doorframe. Freezing winds blew through the newly made opening, carrying bits of snow with it, and made the two shiver. As the chainsaw cut more of the door, it slowly began to tilt from the lack of support. Finally, the door came loose enough to fall down with a startling thud that made V jump and grab onto J’s arm. When it fell, it gave them a chance to see what — or who — had destroyed the door.

A drone — probably as tall as Tessa is now, if not a bit taller — stood at the doorway and slowly walked inside. He was wearing a dark coat with a fur collar, probably kept together by the belt around his waist, and a hat with a yellow symbol that kind of looked like a pilot hat with the wings on it. Just below said hat were what looked like semispheres attached to his head, like some weird headband, but his white hair was covering the headband if it was there. The semispheres glowed yellow, just like his eyes, which were focused on the two drones on the other side of the pod. His arms and legs didn’t look much like a worker drone’s. Instead of a sort of tube holding and protecting all their wires and metallic skeleton, his appeared reinforced with metal and more visible joints. His hands appeared normal, though, and oddly enough, they weren’t holding a chainsaw. On top of all of this, he had a tail that held a canister and stinger at the other end of it.

However, all of these things paled in comparison when J and V realized that the strange drone looked a lot like...

“N!!!!” V practically screamed his name as she sprinted towards him. She practically threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around him, causing his tail to shoot straight up like an expression of surprise. V hugged him tighter than she’s ever hugged anyone, so tight that soon enough, her arms would begin to ache.“Oh, I missed you so, so much!!! Thank robo-Jesus you’re alive!!!” She cried out. Her voice was muffled by the fact that her face was basically shoved against him, but the emotion in her statement was more than enough to show just how powerful she felt about this unexpected reunion. When J finally managed to pull herself out of the shock, she choked out a single, barely audible “heh” out of disbelief before walking over and also hugging him.

She didn’t realize exactly how much she had been waiting for this moment after years of telling herself not to think about N being gone, but now that she was living it, she found herself trying not to cry as she spoke.“I have no words. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy to see you again, but—“ J cut herself off when N promptly grabbed her arms and removed them from around himself. He did the same with V and smiled at them with a hint of uncertainty as he took a few steps back.

“I’m sorry, but do I know you?”

[chaotic-super]

The Gym Experience - 2

Read part 1 here

Lena sits idly in her car, unbelieving that once again she’s sat outside of the hellhole known as National City Gym. She rests her head on her steering wheel with a huff, completely baffled on how she’s somehow let herself be dragged here again.

Sure, Kara is cute and Lena’s a gay mess but that shouldn’t be enough to get her to put her body through something as terrible as physical activity. In fact, there’s nothing in this world that should justify her being back here, and yet here she is.

She sucks in a couple of deep breaths, seriously considering the paths she’s taken in life that have led her to this moment and considering how bad it will make her look if she leaves.

The conclusion of her evaluation isn’t what she was hoping for either: she can’t leave because Kelly and Alex have already been on a date together and have another planned so one way or another, it looks like the Danvers sisters are in her life for the time being, making it impossible to escape without looking like a complete jerk.

Another huff falls from her lips. She’s going to have to head inside soon, there’s no doubt in her mind that the sunshine-y piece of hot ass she met last week is an early bird too. There’s only a few minutes left until eleven thirty, the time they agreed on. Well, Lena didn’t agree to it, just sort of nodded when Kara suggested it, a terrible thing to have done.

A tap to the window beside her head makes her jump, her forehead clattering against the steering wheel painfully. “Ow!”

Kara’s muffled voice fills Lena’s ears completely panicked and apologetic. “Lena! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Are you ok?”

Lena pushes herself back into her seat, her hands cradling her injured forehead and wincing at the dull ache that’s settled there. She meets Kara’s worried gaze through the window just a few seconds after.

With a tug of the door handle she’s swinging the door open but before she can get out, Kara is leaning into the car.  “Should I go ask for ice? Or maybe I should take you to the ER? Can you see ok? How many fingers am I holding up?”

Lena can’t see anything because of the three fingers that Kara is holding in her face and her mind is struggling to keep up with the fast pace that Kara is spouting out questions at her.

“What?” Lena bats Kara’s hand out of her face and pushes past her to climb out of the car and to her feet.

If her brain was working properly she would use this as an excuse to leave but unfortunately for her, it isn’t so instead she says something that she’s never said before. “Let’s just head inside, I think there’s a couple of treadmills with our names on them.”

As they walk across the parking lot, Kara keeping her eye on Lena to make sure she’s alright, Lena can’t help but wonder where the hell that came from, she’s never said anything remotely close to that before so why did her brain default to that sentence?

Kara skips ahead as they get closer to the door so she can pull it open for Lena and then as she’s leaning over to grab the handle Lena gets a good look at Kara’s lithe form from behind and she has her answer. That ass is worth doing twenty minutes on a treadmill for. She can’t say it’s worth more than twenty minutes, but no ass is.

Kara leads the way to the locker rooms, a sad pout taking over those pretty pink lips of hers and making Lena feel guilty for brushing her off. She really does look like a little puppy dog when she does that.

“It doesn’t even hurt anymore, it was more of a shock than anything.” Lena reassures her, feeling a little bad at how quiet Kara has gotten.

Kara opens her locker, shoving her things inside then turns to Lena, apprehensive and unsure. “Are you really ok?”

“Yes, I am. Just not thrilled to be back in here again, I don’t know if you noticed before, but I’m not a massive fan of the gym.”

A smile spreads across Kara’s face. “I did notice, and I’m going to prove to you that it’s not so bad when you know what you’re doing.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Lena drones out, unconvinced and dreading the next hour of her life.

Kara just giggles in an adorable dorky way that makes Lena’s heart flutter. She scolds herself for it, telling herself that she shouldn’t be yearning after a woman that’s about to torture her but the sweet smile that she’s on the receiving end of cuts off her mental telling off.

She’s led out into the gym and over to the treadmills first. “We’ll have a quick warm up, just a brisk walk into a jog and some stretching, nothing too strenuous, and then we’ll see what we can come up with to ease you into everything else.”

Lena is just about to throw her earphones in when Kara taps her on her shoulder and hands her one of her wireless earphones.

“What’s this?”

“We should listen together, I have an epic playlist that will make you want to keep going forever.” Kara puts the left earphone in whilst Lena has the right, leaving the ear closest to the other woman empty so they can still hear each other.

Kara clicks her treadmill on, building up the speed rapidly until she’s speed walking. Lena’s reluctant to start but seeing the hopeful glint in Kara’s baby blue eyes makes her hurry up and turn her treadmill on too, groaning as she’s forced to start walking.

She glances over at Kara’s treadmill to check what level she has it on then changes hers to match it, not wanting to seem like she isn’t willing to try.

Her legs ache from the strain of it, it’s now set much higher than she would have put it on if Kara wasn’t with her. She can’t help but pant a little as she walks, pretty much jogging, to keep up with it and Kara takes notice and leans over to turn her treadmill down a little.

“We have to set the machines to us, you don’t have to be the fastest person here or the person who can lift the heaviest weights, listen to your body and set the machine to a comfortable level that challenges you a little bit but don’t overdo it.” Kara explains, scrolling through her phone to start the playlist for them.

Lena can’t respond to her because out of nowhere her ears are being assaulted with Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus.

“This is a great song to jog to, I always turn up my treadmill when it gets to the chorus but don’t feel pressured to speed up just because I am, we’re easing you into this. Ok?”

“Got it.” Lena forces herself to smile but she can tell it’s come out as more of a grimace. She gets where Kara is coming from with setting the machines to your level and sticking with what you’re comfortable with but what her body is comfortable with is her couch so it’s hard to judge what level she’s at other than stationary.

To try and take her mind off of the burning in her legs she focuses on the words of the song, and to her surprise she actually doesn’t mind it. It’s not the kind of thing she’d ever listen to herself, but it definitely fits Kara and having Kara vaguely dancing along to it as she jogs next to her is making her like it a little bit more.

She makes note of what level she’s on because it’s fairly alright for her, not making her too out of breath, just making her legs work and heating her body up nicely, then she presses the button to increase the speed as the chorus kicks in. She has to admit that Kara was right, it is nice to have a little run along with the song.

Kara clearly knows the songs well as they go through a couple of them because she’s setting her treadmill to each different speeds at the perfect times for when the songs pick up tempo and slow down again.

Lena takes her lead for when to change her speed but follows Kara’s advice to the best of her abilities, trying not to look over at Kara’s screen and instead setting the treadmill to her own preferences, not that she’s entirely sure what her preferences are yet.

After the third song Kara pauses the music and turns her brisk walk into a regular walk, directing Lena to do the same.

Lena’s a little bit embarrassed to be panting from just a few minutes of walking and jogging but Kara doesn’t pay any mind to it, grinning at her instead. “That was good, now let’s just keep walking while we start our stretches.”

Kara starts with her neck, giving it a gentle twist before focusing on her arms, swinging her shoulders around and getting her arms moving a bit. Lena feels a little bit silly but copies her, hoping that she’s doing it right.

They start from the top and work their way down, as soon as they are done with shoulders and arms, they head onto hips, Kara showing her how to open up her hips to loosen them off which will help them with squats in a little bit.

Lena had no idea that there was so many different ways to stretch and she was not prepared to be doing them today.

As they move onto heel flicks and high knees, which tire her out more than the jogging did, she realizes that she actually recognises a lot of it since they are actually fairly common stetches that you’d see runners doing at the park before and after their runs.

By the time Kara lets them off the treadmills Lena is done for, she’s panting like crazy and tired. “Good workout, let’s go shower then get lunch.” Lena picks up her water bottle and is about to walk away until Kara lets out a boisterous laugh.

“Good one, Lena. That’s funny.” Kara even goes as far as to clap along with her laughter. “That was just the warm up, we can get to the good stuff now that our muscles are ready.”

Lena’s shoulders sink in resignation. “What awful thing are you about to force me into?”

“Well, usually today would be my leg day but since I’m showing you the ropes, we’re going to do a full body workout to keep us nice and even, sound good?”

“Not good but logical.”

Kara isn’t the least bit offput by her unenthusiastic approach to working out, seemingly unbothered by it, just rolling with the punches and getting shit done.

Kara heads over to an open space. “Let’s not get too caught up with equipment yet, bodyweight is an excellent way to get into shape and it means that you can exercise anywhere so if you can’t make it to the gym, there’s always something you can do at home.”

Lena can tell that’s directed at her and that Kara knows that she probably won’t be coming here in the long run. It’s a smart move really, trying to instil some kind of exercise regime into her head, it’s too bad that Lena is super stubborn and will be scrubbing it from her brain the second they step outside.

“Let’s start with arms, I’m going to show you how to do a push up and some variations. I’m not expecting you to be able to do it right away so don’t worry if you can’t.”

Lena watches wide eyed as Kara gets into a push up position and starts to explain how to get into the right position and how to use the right form. Lena can’t say as though she’s fully listening to what Kara has to say though because she’s watching those arms flex with each push up and that perky bottom as it rises and falls in time with the reps.

“Lena?”

Lena’s broken out of her blatant leering when Kara looks up at her, kneeling on the floor after finishing her set.

“Lena, are you listening?” Kara’s cheeks are flushed pink.

“Yep, I was just…” Lena clears her throat. “…making note of your form.”

Kara supresses a smile, thrilled that Lena is looking at her that way, she likes it a lot but she really wants to teach Lena too and save the flirting for when they’re done. She takes in Lena’s gaze that’s focused on her arms, well maybe she can flirt a little bit. “Get down here and give it a try, I think I should study your form too.”

Lena nods and forces herself down into a push up position.

“Not too bad, you want your hands under your shoulders and your feet slightly apart.” Kara guides her with a gentle hand. “Now try and lower yourself down.”

Lena tries and almost immediately fails, getting down but not quite having the strength to push herself back up. She sinks down onto the floor dramatically. “I failed.”

“You didn’t fail, we just need to adapt.” Kara rubs her back, not mentioning the little groan that Lena lets out at the contact. “Brush yourself off and we’ll give it a try.”

Lena hates how chipper and supportive Kara is being, she’s not giving her an excuse to storm out of here and never come back, in fact it is making her feel sort of…motivated. Yuck.

Kara shows her a few easier variations of a push up, getting Lena to try it against a wall first and then on her knees so there isn’t as much weight on her arms when she tries it.

When she gets her first set of five on her knees Kara cheers for her, and her excitement leaves no room for Lena to feel embarrassed, not that she should it’s quite the achievement for her.

“That’s great, Lena!” Kara grins at her holding her hand up for a high five. “Since you got five, we should try for another two sets of five or just as many as you possibly can. You’ll probably find that you can do more next time and we can work you up to the next level of push ups.”

That doesn’t sound quite as good but for a second, Lena actually considered coming back. That’s progress that she was adamant she wouldn’t make. Goddamn Kara Danvers and her happy go lucky buffness making her come to the gym.

“Can I have a break first?”

“Just a minute then, you don’t want to rest too long but you’re still new to this.” Kara takes Lena’s break time as the perfect opportunity to do her other sets and explain her form once again, completely aware that Lena isn’t paying attention to what she’s saying.

Lena can’t help but love how attentive Kara is being with teaching her the ropes, being a perfect mix of being strict enough to get Lena to do what she wants but not pushing too hard so that she doesn’t scare Lena off like she’s a frightened little kitten. She really loves the view too.

Not a minute later Kara has her back at it, forcing herself to do as many push ups as she can, Kara cheering her on all the while. This time she manages an extra one, rounding her personal best up to six. After another tiny break she’s doing it again, getting only four before her arms shake and give out beneath her but Kara is still grinning at her and congratulating her anyway, washing away any bitterness she has.

“I’m so proud of you.” Kara hugs her tightly when they stand up, unaware of the way those words make Lena’s heart swell. Not knowing how long it’s been since Lena has heard those words.

“I’m sure you have plenty more nasty things you want me to do before we leave, don’t get too excited yet, I might fail spectacularly.”

Kara pulls back to meet her eyes. “It’s not about whether or not you fail, it’s about trying and I know that you are trying. I can see it and it’s paying off.” Kara sits back down taking a gulp of her drink before moving onto crunches, explaining them to Lena as she starts doing them.

She knocks out a couple of sets before getting Lena to have a go and discovers that Lena hates them with a passion.

“Come on, you can do this!”

“No, it makes me want to die.”

“Come on, Lena.”

Lena lets out a breath as she cranks out one more, her entire core shaking with the strain. “I can’t.”

“You like books, right?” An adorable eyebrow scrunch has Kara explaining her question. “Last week when we were in the locker room you said that you would prefer to be reading than working out.”

Lena nods shakily, falling flat on her back and giving up on the crunches.

“If you can give me another five crunches then I will take you to the bookstore after this and get you any book you want, even a hardcover.”

Lena has enough money to buy herself any book she wants but the opportunity to spend more time with Kara outside of being physically punished is definitely an incentive she’ll take. “Ok.”

She forces herself through more crunches, laying there like a wounded animal when she’d done while Kara giggles at her.

Kara can tell that Lena is getting tired so she rounds them out with some squats, lunges and then a plank, which to her surprise, Lena actually doesn’t mind too much, getting competitive since they did it together.

When she watches a bead of sweat drip down Lena’s forehead Kara can’t resist and purposefully drops out of the plank, letting her win the unspoken competition.

“Yes!” Lena cheers, dropping out of her own plank and draining the rest of her water bottle.

“Alright, alright. You win.” Kara admits defeat, content to never tell Lena that she rigged the game to make her win. “Now, let’s call it a day. That was a good start so we can plan our next work out after a shower.”

Lena doesn’t know whether or not she should jump for joy or groan at the prospect of another work out but when Kara offers her a slightly sweaty arm to escort her to the locker room she almost feels excited for their next outing.

They each grab their towels and fresh clothes and make for the showers, Lena peeking at Kara as she pulls off her tank top, so she can take a look at those delicious abs she wants to lick the sweat off. It’s a good thing she covered them up today because there’s no way she could have concentrated otherwise.

It makes her wonder if Kelly had prewarned Kara or not, that’s something the bitch would do, and if she thinks she’s getting a thank you for setting this up then she’s got another thing coming.

She goes in for a second look only to find Kara checking out her boobs, so she pretends not to notice, her girls are always happy to have a little attention from a muscly blonde with cute glasses.

They drag the shower curtains closed and have quick showers, coming back out with flushed skin from being scrubbed clean.

Kara tells her again how proud she is of how hard she tried today as they head out to their cars and drop their bags inside. Kara had parked right beside Lena and stops her before she can get into her car. “Shall we meet at the book store or shall I drive and I bring you back after a little book shopping and maybe lunch?”

Lena eyes up Kara’s old beat up car, considering her options when Kara interjects again, a little embarrassed by her old rundown motor.

“Sorry about the car, I’ve been meaning to get it replaced for a while, but I don’t like to part with things that aren’t broken. Old Jeremy here still runs great, so I never had a real kick up the butt to trade him in. I promise he’s safe though.”

Lena feels bad for making Kara self-conscious and closes her car door before locking it. “I think we already proved that injuries happen in my car so please, let’s carpool.”

Ever the gentlewoman, Kara opens the passenger door for her then head around to get in. She’s really glad she cleaned her car out this past weekend or else she would be doubly embarrassed. Still, Kara and Jeremy are practically a two for one deal, so Lena has now passed the test.

“Jeremy is nice, I wouldn’t get rid of him either.” Lena adds, buckling herself in.

“I know you’re just saying that but thank you anyway.”

They make small talk as they head just a few blocks away and discuss where they should go for lunch after but having no solid plans.

No decision has been made by the time they pull up in the tiny parking lot beside the bookstore so they just put the conversation on hold until they’re finished.

Kara scoots around the car to open the door for Lena again, taking her hand once the door is shut behind them. Lena is a little shocked by it but is completely enamoured by the adorable blushing cheeks she sees when she looks up at her beefy suitor.

“Ready?” Lena tightens her grip on Kara’s hand.

A rapid nod from Kara has them heading inside, aiming right for the shelves and pulling book after book down to read the blurbs.

Lena breaks away from Kara to grab a basket, dropping more books in the basket than she will ever read. One day when she retires, she will do nothing but read all day, so she’s got to be prepared and buy every book she likes the look of now. That’s what she tells herself anyway.

Kara has a couple of books in hand and figures that will do her for now. “Hey, Lena. I’m just about done, have you found a book yet?”

She turns back to Lena to find her struggling with the basket, more books piled on top of it because it’s so full and partially obscuring Lena’s body because of how tall it is. “We have to go now or else we’ll never leave.” Lena warns her.

Kara steps towards her, gripping the sides of the basket and taking it off her, her own books under her arm. “Right, let’s go before you leave all the shelves empty.”

Lena’s eyebrow quirks at the ease in which Kara is carrying the books she was struggling with just seconds ago. Yep, Kara Danvers is hot as hell.

The basket gets dropped on the counter in front of the slack jawed cashier, but the young woman snaps herself out of it quickly, starting to scan the books. Kara grabs a random book out of the pile and adds it to her own but doesn’t say a word. It confuses Lena until she’s finished paying for her books and piling them into a cardboard box the cashier found for her in the back. Once Kara has paid for her books plus the one she swiped from Lena’s pile, she drops the aforementioned stolen book into Lena’s box.

“A deal is a deal.” She shrugs, grabbing the box and heading back out to the car.

“Kara, you didn’t have to do that, I’m a CEO. I have more money than I know what to do with.” Lena places a hand on Kara’s forearm as she closes the trunk, now full of books.

Kara covers her hand with her own. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. When was the last time you let someone spoil you a little?”

The blank look on her face tells Kara exactly what she needs to know.

“One book isn’t going to hurt my bank account, Lena. I couldn’t have bought an entire box of books, sure, but if I can get you a book, why wouldn’t I? I like you and I want to spoil you.”

Lena gets where Kara is coming from, but she still feels off accepting it, she’s always been the one to pay for everything in a relationship, the one to try and woo the other because why else would someone want to be with her? It’s especially confusing because it’s clear that while Kara isn’t struggling for money, she isn’t rich either. “You’re sure?”

“Positive. Now, where shall we grab a bite to eat?”

It’s amazing really how Kara has made her feel so special just from one simple act and she really wants to do the same for Kara but knows that if she tries to do it with money she’ll probably think she’s just trying to pay her back.

“How about we head back to my place? I’ve been craving pasta since you made me do those crunches and not to brag but I’m pretty nifty in the kitchen.”

Kara beams at her. “Only if you show me how you’ve reinforced your bookshelf to not collapse under the million books you must have on it.”

Lena sucks her lips into her mouth, supressing a smile. “I know you’re joking but I actually did have to reinforce it.”

Kara cackles as she pulls the door open for Lena. “Now I definitely have to see it!”

[ohstardew]

Revisiting Code: Realize

I have been severely emotionally and creatively stuck for a long while, and just recently settled on revisiting older media that is beloved to me, especially games, because of the way the interactive narrative speaks to me, but also because its historically what has gotten me writing. While one friends suggestion was Ace Attorney, which is absolutely in queue to be re-experienced, I got the more desperate urge to revisit Code: Realize first. As an early adopter of the english localized otome (my copy of Sweet Fuse as testament), this one has long been my gold standard, and it is also the perfect narrative to help me dislodge some back up.

I thought it might be nice to keep a small journal as I play each route to sort of document what makes it so special, and help me process why it is so personally beloved. First, of course, I must replay and look at the common route. I will come back to this post with those thoughts as I go, but to start I will leave the initial premise below.

First, the premise of the game is simple, yet possesses arrangements to introduce a lot of narrative and character complexities. It is set in Victorian-era London, but with a fantasy steampunk flavor. We follow Cardia Beckford, and our introduction to her is... whoof. She is alone, and since her father left her, she has always been alone.

The opening of the game is her lamenting about who and what she is... why she even exists... because as we shortly find out, her father has told her that because he loves her, he must never let her know love. Because she is a monster. It is a painful opening as we see her shut away in a dilapidated home, her room littered with dolls and toys as she sits curled up, head to her knees, only lifting it when some of Queen Victoria's royal guard, sent to apprehend her, enter. They speculate over if she could be the monster, until one of their dogs becomes aggravated by the situation and bites her... only for her blood, and the touch of her skin, to gruesomely kill it.

Cardia tried to stop this, and thus does the commander of the guard realize she is not a monster by intent, only by her making. She is poisonous to her core, the touch of her skin enough to burn and melt another, and if that touch is prolonged, it surely will kill them. She does not know why she is like this, only that she always has been, and because of that she welcomes being taken... welcomes what she believes is certain death. Being alone as long as she has been, longing for touch the whole time and knowing she can never have it, it would be much easier that way.

But gentleman thief and master of disguise Arsène Lupin isn't about to let that happen. He shows up in proper grand flair to whisk Cardia away from the guard, from her certain demise, because he wishes to steal her heart... literally. But gentleman that he is, he will not take it off her without granting her a wish in return, and there is one thing she wants, which she asks him for quite plainly. "I want to... touch you. I want to feel you... your warmth."

He quickly understands. She has never touched another before, believes she never will as she asks if it is impossible... only for him to confidently promise he will grant this wish to her.

That is how we open the game, and boy do we still a hell of a common route to get through (per my memories, it is quite long!) but I am beyond excited. The common route will get it's own post but as a small teaser:

After the opening credits play, it opens on a scene of Cardia lamenting on how her father set rules for her to never find love, and to never leave their home until he returned for her or ruin and heartbreak will surely follow. Cardia reveals she broke this rule once, and she destroyed someone who loved her, though before we delve into this further, she remarks on the feeling of a morning breeze, and the feeling of sunshine before Lupin offers her a simple breakfast of egg and toast.

This little moment already gives us a great look at Cardia, her lamenting, but also how she is surprised by the breakfast, and catalogues to Lupin how while she can eat... it basically melts to nothing right away, but at least she can taste it, and it tastes good. We get little details of how she has to live, what it means to be the monster she is, and how she feels in a world she isn't meant for. It sets us up to feel for her, to care for her, with even more evocative moments like this to come.

Longing for touch... I felt that deeply when I first played this game, and in a post-pandemic world it resonates even deeper. I am excited to open this world of the game back up, just as well the world within me it once opened up.

One last element: please look at how beautiful this games art and design is... Cardia Beckford you will always be famous.

[aviiatrix]

@that-kid-from-vault-101 continued from here

♘ ― a thoughtful hum would be her only response at first, her pale blues not once tearing from the scene in the distance. it was an odd thing to say, she couldn't deny that, but to her it was possible that the two leaders had more in common than she first thought. and river never really was good at keeping her thoughts to herself.

accepting his offer so far hadn't been a bad idea as well. while the young woman had been so quick to judge during their arrival, seeing what they could do for the commonwealth and what they wanted to do in order to help humanity survive gave her a new perspective. something that preston suggested. 'we can never have too many allies.' she could almost hear his voice clear as day, causing the corners of her lips to twitch as she tried to withhold smiling to herself. truthfully, the general had heard plenty of things about the elder himself, but prying his past out of anyone had proven to be rather difficult. not that she had been purposefully trying.

being overly curious was just something that came naturally to her. which usually didn't bear too many consequences, that is, until it did. rarely anyone would point out the wedding ring. something she grew thankful for with how painful it could be to relieve the memories of that day, but she couldn't blame him when she had been trying to learn more about him herself.

❝ it was my mom. even after pops died she never did take it off. if there was ever a more accurate display of true love, i'd say it was them. ❞ she lifted her dog tags, a second wedding band dangling from it. it was her fathers, but instead of voicing it she hoped the implication spoke for her as she released the chain and leaned forward to rest her weight on the railing in front of them.

❝ as for those 'rumors'... they're correct. i'm around two hundred and thirty six years old. ice does wonders for the skin apparently. ❞ she jested in hopes of easing a particularly grim topic, but even she knew jokes could only do so much for it.

❝ cryostasis. ❞ river finally said, a grimace briefly flashing on her features and her knuckles turning white from her grip on the metal supporting her.

❝ they wanted to study the long term effects. on unaware subjects. they told us they were decontamination pods. i thought after a few minutes i'd be reunited with my mom and my baby sister. instead, i watched ma get shot and edith... ❞ is the leader of the institute. the words were lodged in her throat and felt almost suffocating, but she swallowed them down. she'd rather not have anyone questioning whether she could do what needed to be done when the time came. ❝ taken. ❞

[diamondangelkitten]

Vierapril 13: Horizon

Alira holds onto the siding of the ship for dear life as the waves crash upon the boat. “I hate boats.” Alinea looks up from where she’s located at the helm attempting to draw. “Still seasick?” A murmur of assent, before the viera empties her stomach again into the ocean. Alinea grimaces. She’s taken a few boats before and has never felt sick herself, so she’s at a loss as to what to do. She decides to head down and check if Aurora has any suggestions.

As she passes by the sleeping quarters, she hears Aurora’s voice, “Annabeth, lying in here is not going to help.” “Just let me die here.” “Stop being so dramatic.” Alinea wonders if all Viera just dislike sailing, but decides now’s not the time to ask questions of the crew or Alphinaud. She enters into the sleeping bay, “Hey Annabeth, not feeling so great?” The look on Annabeth’s face would make Alinea cower, if it wasn’t for the shade of green that tinged her cheeks. Aurora sighs, “She hasn’t found her sea legs yet and she refuses to get fresh air to help.” “The same air is making its way into here isn’t it?” Alinea looks between the two of them, before interjecting, “I hate to say this, but Alira’s also still feeling ill up there. Isn’t there anything you can give them or do?”

An even deeper sigh originates from Aurora. “Is she looking at the horizon?” “What?” Aurora sighs, “Okay, Ali, hoist Annabeth from her hammock. Mind your toes and meet me up on deck.” Annabeth glares at Alinea, but she holds up her hands, “I’m just following the First Mate’s orders.” Annabeth rolls her eyes before shutting them and swings her legs over the side. “I hate boat travel.” “Yea, I do too now.”

They slowly shuffle-step their way to the deck where they see Alira slumped where Alinea had left her earlier. As they move closer to her, Alira lifts her head, “You too, huh?” Annabeth removes herself from Alinea’s grasp and falls down next to her friend. “I hate it here.” A few short moments later, Aurora emerges and heads straight for them. “Okay, here, eat this.” The two Viera look at her like she’s crawled out from the woodworks. “Look, it’s called hard tack. It’s not tasty, in the least, but it’s bland and will help settle your stomachs. At least a bit. Please won’t you try nibble on it?” She puts on her cutest puppy dog eyes and Alira and Annabeth can’t deny her. They both take a piece of the proffered hard tack and after a cautious glance between them, start to nibble. “Any better?” As they’re about to reply, a wave hits the ship, and Alira furiously shakes her head no.

Carvallain comes up behind Aurora. “Still struggling, eh? Well, Aurora, cast your eyes out, and help them remember the first rule of sailing yea?” She turns her gaze towards where her father points and a smile lights up her face. “What’s rule number one?” Alira groans. Aurora extends a hand to each of the Viera, who sigh and heave themselves up. Alinea, who’s picked up now on the lesson, goes to stand behind them and braces them, putting a hand on their shoulders. “Always keep your eye on the horizon.” Annabeth and Alira look at each other and back to the horizon as Kugane comes into view. “Oh my gosh.” Alira laughs, “that’s really it?” Aurora nods, “We’re almost there.” Annabeth pulls them into a group hug, “Well girls, almost time to be off this blasted ship and into one of their famed hot springs.” The girls laugh, before Carvallain sneaks up behind them, “Aren’t you meant to be liberating some country men or whatever? There’ll be time for relaxing later.” “Yes Papa.” He smiles as he turns back towards the helm. Aye, as long as the girls keep an eye on the horizon, on the coming dawn together, they’ll be just fine. 

[teenmomcentral]

Here are some of the major (and minor but interesting) ‘Teen Mom’-related things that happened over the last few days…

Jenelle Evans Says It’s No Fair She’s Being Blamed For Her Son Jace Running Away

Jenelle’s son Jace went missing yet again this week, with the fired ‘Teen Mom 2’ star having to call the police to help her locate the 14-year-old after she was unable to find him after a few hours. Jace was found safe about 10 minutes away from The Land, but after the news of his latest escape attempt went public, Jenelle says she’s been inundated with negative comments about her parenting. 

The Ashley will give you a moment to get over your shock…

Of course, this is the second time this month that the police have had to get involved to find Jace. Earlier this month, he was reported by county police as a missing juvenile after he bolted from his school. (He was found by search dogs later that day.)

Jenelle says she’s tired of taking the blame for what Jace does.

“A lot of my son’s actions is being pinned against me,” Jenelle, ever the wordsmith, said in a video posted to her Facebook page on Wednesday. “I’m getting a lot of hate, a lot of comments, it just keeps goin’ and goin’ and goin’! My son has been having a hard time for the past two or three years. None of this has gone public because we’re trying to keep his privacy.”

Jenelle stated that Jace had troubles long before he came to live on The Land. She also admitted that her mom, Barbara Evans, had a reason for giving Jenelle custody of Jace in March— and it wasn’t because she and Jenelle were suddenly getting along well, as Jenelle had stated at the time. 

“Me and my mom, when she gave me custody, she’s like, ‘Oh, we’re just getting along, I’m just gonna give Jenelle back [custody of Jace],” Jenelle said. “Well there was a big reason behind why I got him back. For reasons we’re not going to discuss because, like I said, it’s my son’s privacy,”

(As The Ashley has reported, Barb was unable to deal with Jace’s behavior any longer, particularly after a few incidents that went down at her house. For general info on that, click here and here. The Ashley can confirm that Jace had run away before, even back when he was living with Barbara.) 

Jenelle continued, “But I will say one thing: monitor your kids’ phones. If they’re teenagers and they have apps, they’re on Snapchat– Snapchat’s a bad one! Because, you know, I monitor my kid’s phone and sometimes they get in trouble, sometimes they need it taken away for the consequences for their actions, right?”

“My son is fine. He’s healthy and he’s safe,” Jenelle said later in the video. “Due to my son’s mental health, none of this is gonna be shared and I don’t want to really go into detail with anything. So if you could kindly please give us the privacy, and give my son the privacy, right now, I’d appreciate it.” 

When someone suggested that Jace keeps running away to escape Jenelle and David’s on-the-swamp arguing, Jenelle said that’s not the case.

“Online arguing isn’t ‘shouting it outloud,'” Jenelle wrote. (And, no, that’s not a typo.) “If you were to ask the kids if they hear us argue they would say no cuz it’s always in text messages lol.”

Just weeks ago, Jenelle was online accusing David of being mean to her and stealing her debit cards, among other things. Now, however, she claims that her arguments with David are usually about who did more chores around the house.

“We argue about things like, ‘I do the dishes more than you fold clothes’… marriage stuff,” Jenelle wrote. “I’m just more vocal about my life and truthful than most creators.”

Tyler Baliterra Brags That Wife Catelynn Lowell is His Pimp

Tyler is making money by making sexy time content for his wife Catelynn to post. In a new interview, Ty bragged that Cate is now kind of like his pimp, since she is the one running his OnlyFans site and putting his X-rated pics on The Interwebs.

“She’s putting me out there,” Tyler told TooFab in a recent interview. “She’s pimping me out!”

Catelynn joked that she has no problem pimping out her husband, because it keeps her from having to get a job.

“I told him this for months, I said, ‘Start an OnlyFans and mama won’t have to work another day in her life.’ And so here we are,” Catelynn said.

Catelynn said she started Ty’s OnlyFans without his consent, but had been hinting that she was going to do it.

“I would constantly bring it up, like, ‘Dude, you should just start an OnlyFans. People are ooh-ing and ah-ing all the time, we should charge them for this,'” Cate told the site. “I kept telling him, kept telling him about it and one day I just pulled the trigger and signed him up. Like, ‘Whelp! I signed you up for an OnlyFans, here scan your face. Thank you! Let me take a picture of your ID, thank you."

“I mean, she’s doing something right!” Tyler added. “It’s at almost [top] 2 percent of all the [OnlyFans] creators, so people are telling me that’s a good thing.”

Tyler and Catelynn have made it clear that Cate is running the account, but the couple says Catelynn will not be stripping down to her to join in on the social media sexual snaps.

”People are like, ‘Oh, you’re gonna do couples things on there?’ and I’m like, ‘I would never,'” Cate said. “We have daughters, we’re not doing p0rn on OnlyFans. Okay, that’s gross.” As The Ashley previously reported, Catelynn and Tyler got into a little online spat with their former ‘Teen Mom OG’ co-star (and fellow OnlyFans user) Farrah Abraham, who called them hypocrites for posting adult content online after condemning her for doing so years ago. Tyler denied his OnlyFans content was anything like what Farrah’s been doing in the adult industry.

“To be fair, I’m NOT doing p0rn at all!” Tyler wrote. “Cate is just sharing the stuff that I personally send to her lol! There’s no sex involved or even videos on the page she’s running. I didn’t go to a p0rn production company, hire adult film stars & crew, have sex on camera, pretend that it was some ‘leaked’ personal footage, or make genital molds to sell.”

Devoin Austin Was Evicted From His Apartment For Failing to Pay Rent

Devoin Austin was reportedly booted from his Davenport, Florida, apartment earlier this year after falling behind on his monthly rent and then allegedly refusing to leave the apartment. 

According to The Sun, the ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter’ dad, who shares 11-year-old daughter Nova with ex Briana DeJesus, failed to pay the $1,683 he owed to his apartment’s management company on May 1. By the time he was issued a notice regarding the missed payment on May 23, the amount had increased to $2,203 due to late fees and other charges. 

While Devoin reportedly had a three-day window to fulfill his monthly rent payment, he failed to do so, resulting in the May 23 notice that informed him he was being evicted. 

Less than a month later, Devoin was issued a Forcible Entry and Detainer (FED) along with an additional fee of $200. (FEDs are reportedly issued by a property owner or landlord when a tenant either refuses to leave a rental property or is living in the residence without the owner’s permission.) 

On June 21, a Writ of Possession was issued, telling the Polk County Sherriff to go into the apartment and remove anybody living in the apartment. (It is unknown if the cops had to forcibly remove Devoin, or if he finally left willingly.) 

Devoin, who has openly struggled with and sought treatment for a gambling addiction, has yet to address his reported eviction or his current living situation; however, he has geotagged photos from multiple locations in Florida in recent months, hinting that he may have relocated. 

As ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter’ fans know, Devoin’s money issues were recently a topic of conversation on the show. On last week’s episode, viewers watched as Devoin hit Briana up for some cash to pay for his car registration and drivers license, only to immediately cruise over to a strip club–- presumably via Uber–- armed with a fat stack of one dollar bills. 

Tyler Baltierra Is Releasing His First Rap Single

Earlier this month, Tyler’s wife/pimp Catelynn Lowell shared a few clips of Tyler rapping about his troubled past. At the time, Tyler claimed that he had absolutely, positively no idea that Cate had taken his personal recordings public, but now he says he plans to release his musical stylings to the masses!

On Thursday, the ‘Teen Mom’ dad announced that he will releasing his first single— a tune called “Anybody”— next week. 

“I honestly never thought this day would ever be a reality for me,” Tyler wrote on his post announcing his single, adding that he uses poetry and song-writing as a form of therapy.

“I was inspired by many close friends,” Tyler stated. “They saw something in my writing that maybe I never did at the time. They helped me find a new way to save myself again! They helped me find my new therapy & I’ve never felt this whole or this creatively complete before!”

“This music has literally SAVED MY LIFE! So I don’t have energy to care about whoever doesn’t like it (because I know there will plenty that don’t) & I truly have peace with that…because all that means, is that it just wasn’t meant for them & that’s only the universe working for me, not against me!” Tyler wrote.

Tyler added that Catelynn was the one who really encouraged him to go public with his music.

“I’m releasing my debut single called ‘Anybody’ on SEPT 6th,” Tyler stated. “I wrote it one night sitting in my car as I sobbed uncontrollably from how low I was feeling at the time. Maybe someone out there can relate? Regardless, I just want to thank you for allowing me to be who I am, I love all of you!”

When someone criticized Tyler on how much his voice was edited in the song, Tyler told the nay-sayer that very little editing was done on his voice in the song.

“I can assure you that I have not altered my voice at all besides some minor reverb & echo in the mix lol but I understand what you’re saying,” he responded. “However, most people do have different styles/characteristics in their ‘singing/performing’ voice vs their normal speaking voice.”

[blahandwhatever]

God, what exhausting days, one worse than the last.

Today my father went home for lunch and texted me to come ASAP because Mickey was in much worse shape, and he was convinced he would die before he got back from work.

So I went over there again. Came home to the empty house, taken back to the years when I lived there. I looked at the spot on the floor where the cat had been laid out the night before, and he wasn’t there. I surveyed the whole downstairs floorspace - under couches, behind cabinets. I feared he might have crawled away somewhere to die. I feared my mother might have surreptitiously come home early and taken him to be put down. I searched upstairs too. I texted my father, who said he’d been on the floor when he left. Finally, I found him on the couch of the dog’s room. He’d managed to walk and climb up there by himself, a feat he couldn’t have pulled off yesterday. He was sleeping peacefully. I sat down next to him, I pet him, and he purred; then he slept on my lap for an hour and a half until I got up to make coffee. He then got off the couch, stumbled around, and meowed, until he found his way toward the general direction of the litter box, and I helped him in there, and he did his business, and he got out by himself. Another improvement. I couldn’t see anything that had gotten worse, save for the fact that he’d had a nosebleed. He ate, and then we settled back on the couch together.

Then my father came home, not in a good mood, which meant he was stressful and insufferable, though I put up with it about as well as I could. We discussed what to do with the cat. We called the doctor to find out about the bloodwork, which showed elevated liver enzymes (as we’d expect with his history) and inflammation that could potentially signify an infection. He said we should give him an antibiotic shot and see if he improves in the next 24-48 hours. My father scheduled the soonest available appointment for 6:30. Unfortunately, this meant I had to sit there with my father for too long, and had to deal some annoying (though I guess ultimately meaningless, because it’s just How He Is) questioning of my personal choices again. He went and got us Panda Express, and I powered through talking to him while eating that. Then we finally went to the vet, which went quickly, and I decided to take Mickey home with me. I didn’t want to have to keep coming back, and I feared what my mother might do. She had already angrily texted me about our taking him to get the antibiotic. I explained the reason to her. She didn’t text back. My father suggested spending the night, but no way in hell do I ever want to do that if I don’t have to - and all the less so when my parents are both being toxic. Besides, I had wanted to take him to begin with.

My mother called and raged at me on the way home from work. Again calling my actions unethical, saying he should have been put down yesterday, that I was prolonging his suffering (and causing more of it by giving him shots). Again I calmly explained that I was cooperating with the doctors and would do whatever needed to be done, including putting him down if it came to that. I encouraged her to talk to the vet herself. I explained again that I trusted their authority more than hers. She insisted that vets cared mainly about making money and made more of it by keeping him alive (which, in addition to being ludicrously, unfairly cynical, conveniently made her the one and only pure and true authority in the world). She insisted that no ‘normal’ person would think about this like me and my father. She insisted that she was the cat’s owner, while I argued that we all were, and her opinion was not the only one that mattered.

And look, I’ve had a lot of guilt and second-guessing about it all myself. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. And I do feel bad about taking him behind her back. But I can’t risk an irreversible choice being made without clarity that it’s the right one. In addition to that - even if I end up making the same choice myself, I still think this is the best possible way for him to spend his last days. I’m the person he’s most comfortable with. He loves being with me, and I do understand him better than my parents do. And I’m home all day, unlike my parents, so I can keep watch on him more of the time. My place is warmer and cozier too - my parents’ house is so cold, he was shivering over there. And I’m really doing everything I can to make him feel peaceful, comfortable, and loved.

I made use of his booster seat after all, and he slept through the whole drive. When I brought him inside, he started purring and made himself at home on the couch. I made him a comfortable spot on my bed, where he lay next to me for a long time, then he went off exploring a bit. He ended up peeing on some plastic and foam wrap over some unassembled furniture, which at first I thought was incontinence or confusion, but I quickly realized the foam was similar to the puppy pads he’d been using (for less than 24 hours! he’d learned quick) and he was being a good boy. I showed him to the litter box. I put down a couple of puppy pads as well. The next time he had to go, he went to the litter box all by himself! I was so proud. He is wobbling around so much, occasionally falling, and while I try to help him when I see him struggling, sometimes he manages on his own out of my sight. I’ve tried to set up easier climbs onto the couch and bed for him.

I put on music for him in the living room, and he’s been curled up over there for a while. I knew those Soundscapes would come in handy again someday.

With all of this, somehow I’ve still managed to get all my work and Tumbling done. Can’t deny I live a life of luxury.

And I feel good. I feel good about what I’m doing, wherever it may lead.

[davincsoo]

Bro this bitch across my street who leaves her dog outside in 90 degree heat and leaves her house, and let's her big ass dog roam the street is trying to tell me that my little ass dogs who I never let out of my yard is always in hers and then tells me that I think I'm privileged for wanting to take my dogs outside without fear that her dog might hurt mine?