#i fear its mostly teddy stuff this time

[hideousvampire]

more brother au

teddy and his evil drama

[serasheart]

Valentines

+ jjk men

Gojo. Satoru

Tbh, he would be all over you during valentine. He would buy you chocolates, flowers, teddy bears, perfume, all of that romantic shit and he would be so happy to do so.

He’s a very expressive man in relationships, he struggled to commit to you at first because he’s not very good with relationships and usually had to be held higher than most people with no close relations in fear of those people being used against him.

Being the strongest does have its perks aswell though, it’s not all gore and guts. For example; you never have to be scared walking outside alone, mostly because your boyfriend is a well-built dude who, if you were to be in trouble, would get there extremely fast.

That speed also playing a part in valentines, because even though he will spoil you to death, he will wait until last second to do all the shopping. He’s not attentive, and would’ve easily forgotten had that valentines post on instagram not woken him the fuck up.

The man gleams as he places all of the gifts on your average apartment table, your jaw almost drops at how much stuff there is.

“So there’s this, and this, and- Oh! This too!”

Geto. Suguru

Doesn’t have as much as Gojo does but he still buys you stuff like chocolates and flowers, instead of showering you in gifts he takes the chance to get to know you and get to know what you like.

Very affectionate, takes care of you and makes sure to make you feel special and valued because he loves you and cares about you.

His daughters really like you too so he buys flowers for all 3 of you, you have a vase you put them in (that he gifted you a while ago)

Just really lovely and affectionate in general, he cares about you and how you feel so he wants to show you that. Could give you everything for how you make him feel and he could talk about you for literal hours, so basically he’s a sweetheart that actually takes the time to get to know you even if he doesn’t get you the most.

You never have a plain day with him and you enjoy being with him just as he does with you, he makes sure your chocolates are your favourite and the flowers are the nicest smelling ones with the prettiest design. (All real flowers, no plastic because he don’t fw that monkey BS)

You guys spend your day together obviously, he wakes you up to breakfast in bed and is overall just a good boyfriend. Taking the time to care about you and your feelings whilst also putting effort into his gifts for you.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

Nanami. Kento

A lot similar to Geto, Nanami would buy you flowers and chocolate whilst also being thoughtful of what you would want. He’d treat you more like a wife on valentines than a girlfriend and he would make sure you feel nurtured and tended to.

He’s a hard business man so he wouldn’t want his woman to feel anything less than what she is, which, in his eyes, you’re literal perfection. He doesn’t know what he has done for this godsend of an angel to even grace him with her presence.

But he knows not to fuck it up, overall hes a good boyfriend and will also make sure you’re happy above all because he believes quantity doesn’t matter, more quality. He’s tender, affectionate and knows how to make you happy in all the right ways. The original gentleman if you will!

You don’t really care what he does for you on Valentine’s Day because you know he makes you happy, you’re special to him and he’s special to you aswell but that doesn’t mean he won’t try his best to make your valentines the best one you’ve had yet. (Winky face)

Also really likes calling you sweetheart and honey, he prefers pet names instead of calling you your actual name because it makes him feel closer to you. So yeah, basically he’s a hella good boyfriend and you don’t know how you pulled him lol.

“Feeling cold, honey? I can get you a blanket?”

Kamo. Choso

Has 0 clue how to treat a woman let alone one he’s in a romantic relationship with, he doesn’t even understand the concept of Valentine’s Day or how it could be such an important event. He’s already having a hard time processing whether or not Christmas is an important holiday.

Regardless though, when you tell him about Valentine’s Day he seems kinda shocked and confused, trying to process it as best as he can because he’s not trying to fuck things up between you guys and he wants to understand that it’s something important to you.

So, after that day, a week before valentines, he will do a shit ton of research on what it is and how he should handle it, not wanting to rawdog and go head first in to something he barely understands the concept of;

He will end up realising it’s a day about love (apparently didn’t process to him before) and will take it a lot more serious because he’s literal about his feelings towards you, he wants to make it special for you but it’s also his first valentines so he won’t grasp it completely, the curse is stupid when it comes to emotions and has never known feelings before he decided to live on as a human.

You guys will go out, he’ll probably manage to get his hands on something to give you even if it’s small but you’ll appreciate the gesture anyways because it’s the thought that counts. Literally loves you so much more than you’ll ever know and will feel bad if he feels like he didn’t do enough for you.

“Are you sure you like them?”

Fushiguro. Toji

Flat out, doesn’t remember or doesn’t care to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. if you get upset he forgot he’ll dismiss it or give you a half assed “Happy valentines or whatever”

It wasn’t a good day for him to remember and he doesn’t like the day, you know he’s still grieving his wife and you were completely okay with that when you got with him. But to be honest, even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t care much about the event or day because afterall he’s a Zenin 😭

At the end though, you know he loves you he’s just too lazy or too inattentive to put in the work for Valentine’s Day, not to mention he’s dirt poor so he wouldnt be able to do much for you anyways LOL.

After the first valentines he might remember the second but that’s a gamble, either way you wouldn’t care as long as he were to fuck your brains out later on which he most definitely will do.

nothing more to really add here, also because I hate to write lovey dovey stuff for Toji 😭😭😭😭

“You still fuckin’ mad at me, slut?”

Ryomen. Sukuna

Much like Toji, he just genuinely does not gaf for it. Not gonna sugarcoat it, Sukuna only wants you for one thing and one thing only and that is not your personality girl, he doesn’t care whether you’re mad at him or inlove with him.

The event doesn’t hold much value to him and all he thinks of you as in the end is a plaything for him to dispose of later, he doesn’t really care for your feelings or think of a future with you. You’re just a pawn for him and you’re playing along to his game until you’re not.

Sukuna will grumble to himself when you’re mad at him because that means no pussy and he will start to get mad himself, even if he can’t bring himself to admit it maybe he holds the slightest bit of affection for you in his cold heart.

Doesn’t really care for things you would want him to care for but again, it’s Ryomen Sukuna so what the fuck are we expecting. He doesn’t love you and has never said he loves you, but maybe, just maybe you’re starting to grow on him a little more and he’ll entertain your valentines ideas if he weren’t to end your life when he got bored.

“Cut it out, brat.”

[catboyidia]

how i think asgzc handles being/behaves while sick

(except im actually projecting because im really sick and miserable and mildly (very) delirious)(also this was written mostly in the short period between like 30 min fever dream plagued naps… so its all over the place and don’t expect accurate characterization)

angeal: hes that one motherfucker that can have a high fever and will still insist on doing everything, he could be on his deathbed and still trying to do stuff and care for everyone else until everyone else literally forces him to stop and rest, and even then he will still try to downplay his illness and worry about everyone else

sephiroth: realistically he doesn’t get sick but like… we’re ignoring that… he’s absolutely pitiful but without even meaning to be, like he’s perfectly fine being alone and letting it run its course but he ends up just looking so pitiful that genesis and angeal can’t resist him, they won’t leave him alone and end up trying to comfort sephiroth in any way possible, and upon trying to cuddle him, sephiroth will immediately cling to them, betraying his original ability to be alright alone

genesis: gets super clingy and whiny and refuses to let sephiroth or angeal leave him alone, inevitably forcing them to get sick with him, and hes total crybaby the entire time, needing reassurance about everything he has ever done and will ever do because for some reason being really sick makes him reflect on himself which makes him emotional and regret everything he’s ever done and fear that he isn’t good enough for sephiroth and angeal, all the emotional baggage and insecurities come flooding out until he cries himself to sleep again, wakes up from the strangest fever dream, clings to whoever is closest and the cycle continues, only breaking every so often when he forces sephiroth and angeal to feed him or they force genesis to take medicine, all the necessities ect.

zack: whiny clingy and needy, will cling to cloud like his life depends on it and uses cloud as a living teddy bear, unable to be left alone because if anyone even mentions leaving him alone for a second he immediately starts looking like a kicked puppy and clings on even tighter, desperate to be comforted, and needs to be distracted often from the fact that he is sick or else he will complain about how shitty he feels 24/7, also he will throw a fit and refuse any medication like a child until angeal either shoves a pill down his throat like a dog or crushes it up and hides it in some kind of food… also like a dog… angeal basically has to employ every dog medicine giving tactic

cloud: tries to isolate and let the illness do its thing, not wanting to get anyone else sick, and also not really wanting anyone else to see him sick and think he’s weak because he thinks every little thing, including unavoidable things like getting sick, will make him seem weak, but zack refuses to leave him alone, trying to comfort cloud in any way possible, trying to tend to every single one of clouds needs and constantly makes sure cloud is okay, although cloud tries to push zack away because he doesn’t want zack to get sick, plus unfortunately zack can get a bit stressful and be a bit of a pain in the ass to handle at times

[thedeafprophet]

7 for alex, 17 & 32 for jamie?

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

hmmm.... nostalgia.... I'm not sure thats something Alex experiences too often. There's not many things he feels nostalgic over. Well not for the long ago past.

I suppose if there's something that would trigger the feeling the most it'd be being around other people. Times with Josie and Jamie will often have him reflecting on the past, and despite times being harder back then there is a sense of missing when things were simpler, easier to understand.

I think similar feelings can be felt for stuff from the not as distant past too, when he's alone at the base camp in parabola or finds a left behind teddy bear in his house. Things were tense, but he misses his time with is child greatly.

I think nostalgia is a very bittersweet feelings for Alex. there's no times he truly wishes to return to, merely aspects that he misses and would long for. The past is in the past, and its only fragments of it that remain.

17. Are they easily embarrassed? and 18.What embarrasses them?

These overlap heavily so ill just... do both!

I think Jamie does get embaressed rather easy. Whether its something that actually embarssed them or just being paranoied and anxious about Doing Something Wrong is a matter of debate.

They get embaressed mostly by social stuff - society has a lot of secret and, quite frankly, silly rules, and theres an underlying fear in the embaresment of messing them up. And often times with ADHD its really easy for your brain to go faster then your speech, and words getting all tangled up and mixed around, which can be embaressing when you're known for your words!!!

There's also well.... as much as Jamie would tout about how impressive their life story is, they're often pretty emabressed about their background. Not that they should be, mind you, but it is a very classist society they operate in and its... hard. Being a nobody from nowhere sometimes, among people who all believe theyre inherently better due to who they were born to.

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? 

hmmmm im not sure they have a go to one persay. Jam is very flexible when it comes to conversation, and its more so along the lines of being good at coming up with things on a moments notice.

They couldve done stand up comedy in an alternative timeline, honestly.

Ask Game From Here

[chirp-a-chirp]

@ikeprinces-stuff @reborn-elven-spirit

Be cool. Be cool.

Don’t go on a rant. Don’t go on a rant. Don’t go on—

RAAAAAANT.

Roars Loudly.

A (not so) tiny part of me thinks that kindness and competence are not as attractive to players as morally grey traits. Leon is the STANDARD in real life—what many would desire as a friend or lover. But in games? Mehhhh.

And there are a multitude of reasons for this collective “meh”.

He’s set up as the titular hero in the prologue. But other than HIS route (and Keith’s romantic ending), he ends up playing a secondary role or background supportive character.

Classic starter route syndrome. Cybrid—oh crap! We gotta build this world, flesh out these characters. Wait, you think WE know what’s going on? We’re figuring things out as readers react to the game!

Zany characters like Clavis or anti-heroes like Gil are allowed small but scene-stopping moments outside their routes so you can’t forget them. Leon? He’s off doing his own steady, consistent thing off screen usually. Or, if he does appear, he’s serving as the reliable, occasionally teasing voice of reason. And the voice of reason is needed! But it usually doesn’t make for sexy/funny good times in interactive games.

The foreign faction is mentioned A LOT MORE in various routes than the domestic faction that Leon leads. And sure, with Cybrid adding more and more princes from foreign lands it kind of makes sense. But Cybrid—a friendly reminder that this game takes place in RHOLODITE. And Leon and his faction focus on Rholodite. You can do plenty of world building with the kingdom of Roses. Cybrid seemingly chooses not to.

Leon is basic basically a great person at the beginning of the game. There’s not as much character growth as with other consorts. But it DIDN’T DOESN’T have to be that way. A character can be good but grow. Cybrid chose to NOT explore fully Leon’s backstory.

Speaking of backstory…

Leon’s backstory is the thing that distinguishes him from the others. But Cybrid essentially whitewashes/erases that from him in his original route (they do better in the sequel though). They (mostly) ignore the trauma he endured; the trauma he suppresses (and that Cybrid suppresses for him!); the anger and frustration he felt when first arriving at the palace.

They focus on Leon the reliable, Leon the friendly, Leon the kind, sweet teddy bear-like man he is as a lover. And all of that is good on its own. But, my GOD, that kindness and confidence could be more appreciated if readers were reminded of what it TAKES to be the man that radiates light:

Cybrid, you’re telling me a man who lived his formative childhood years being abused as a slave wouldn’t have PTSD? Wouldn’t see innocuous objects that remind him of his former life but he can’t vocalize to others? The angst potential is through the ROOF. Leon projects light he doesn’t recall getting as a young child because he KNOWS what it’s like to be surrounded by darkness.

In Leon’s route—particularly his dramatic route—his brothers find out the truth about him and effectively say “I didn’t hear anything.” Yes, they accept him as his brother and give him love. But they basically deny his past. How would YOU feel if your loved ones said they supported you but then simultaneously denied a key part of your existence?

Leon has EVERY reason to be resentful, bitter, fearful, and cautious due to his past. To go from the muck and horrors of slavery to a seemingly glittering palace life is jarring. His formative childhood memories are of violence, drudgery, and isolation. He has every building block to have become a man of horror and violence himself with the resources of the palace.

But he doesn’t.

He was plucked from the mud. Rose from the ashes.

He chooses to be a good person. EVERY. DAY.

He purposely listens to others, hearing their stories. Wanting to put smiles on their faces. Because he knows what it’s like to be ignored, lost, forgotten.

He is a skilled fighter. He learns how to wield weapons. He is said to be nearly as skilled a fighter as Chevalier. He learns the tools to wage war—and inflict pain that was inflicted on him. Instead, he chooses to protect. Another conscious choice. A choice to do better. Better than he received.

Every day, Leon chooses to be better. Be a better person. Better prince. Better protector. It would be SO EASY for him to fall into darkness. His exemplary behavior is ignored like the middle child he is. The internal battles he (must) suffer to CHOOSE kindness are not seen by others. Oh, Leon helped the townspeople again? Gave his brothers a pep talk? That just Leon.

Only, it’s not just. It’s everything.

Or, it should be. If only we could appreciate it. If Cybrid would be brave enough to let us know ALL of Leon—scars and all. Including his choice to use his past to drive a better future.

And that is why there is fanfic. And fandom.

It's weird the ikepri fandom finds Leon boring, because with the context of his backstory literally everything he does is fucking wild.

He talks back to Chev? He stands up to a foreign leader? He eats Clavis' food? Every time he outmaneuvers someone or shows off his skills and abilities just has me so giddy.

All the other princes are treating him like a boring middle child, but we the players know what and how badass he actually is.

[fishsticksloser]

Hello, Can i request rottmnt platonic hc of mom reader (she's co-parenting with splinter and they're relationship is platonic) and enjoys spending time with her teenager turtle kids?

Like she likes to talk about science stuff with Donnie, she praises leo and boost his confident, she sewing for raph teddy bears and cook with mikey.

But i guess her only down part is whenever she gets kidnap by anybody she immediately pull out her album and show her kids's pictures to other villains, mostly big mama, that's why the kids try to save her faster before their secrets are exposed 😂😂

Mom!Reader

RotTMNT + fem!reader

Warnings: platonic fluff, movie stuff mentioned, vague mentions of nightmares and injuries

A/N: Could you imagine if they had a mom? Donnie and Mikey are 100% a mama's boys and you can't tell me different. Each parent gets a twin (me and my twin are much the same)

Previous | Next

Donnie

Nicknames: DeeDee, Donato (the real name of the artist), Galileo, Aristotle, Archimedes, and much more.

You once called him Grimace when he was upset and he never forgave you

You are the only one allowed to hang out around Donnie's lab

You are the only one who listened to his info dumps

If the others actually listened, they might find it interesting

You might not understand all of what he's talking about, but seeing your son so passionate makes you so happy

You are the one he goes to when he has a nightmare

Donnie enjoys you singing him to sleep, its peaceful

It reminds him of when things weren't off the rails

He installed multiple trackers on you because last time you were kidnapped you showed Hypno pictures of the Turtle Tots

It made Hypno a little nicer, but there were some embarrassing memories

He once threatened to destroy your camera because of you showing the album to anyone near

Leo

Nicknames: Len, Lenny, Blue Belle, Cookie Monster, Ace, etc.

You are his biggest supporter

He goes to you when he needs help, when he's not feeling his best

When he was younger, he often bunked with you and Donnie

He just didn't like being away from his twin

He didn't come to you often when he was little

In fact, he doesn't go to you very often as a teen

Opting for Splinter

But you can't be everyone's favorite, you knew that Leo needs Splinter like Donnie needs you.

Leo isn't embarrassed by the pictures in the album, in fact he looks at it quite often

Mikey

Nicknames: Lino, Angi, Michi, Goldie, Firecracker, Giorgione, Caravaggio, etc.

Cooking with Mikey was always a blast

He was energetic, but serious

Music would be playing while you 2 worked

You could also be found painting with Mikey

Whether it was on the walls of the skate rink or if it was on canvases in his room

Mikey always comes to you for advice

Splinter and his brothers have a tendency to underestimate and protect him, but he knows you won't

You were the person he ran to about his hands after he saved Leo

He cried, but you showed him how strong he was

How even with shaky hands, art can still be made

Why would he be embarrassed by the album? He helped make it

Raph

Nicknames: Rafa, Alfie, Ray, R.J., Bubs, Cuddles, etc.

You and Raph grew apart as he got older, but you still make him sweaters and outfits for his bears

He loves you, he just feels like being 17, he needs to stop relying on you and Splints

When he was younger, he would watch you make him teddy bears

You'd let him name them, write their names down on a heart shaped piece of fabric and place it inside (like Build-A-Bear)

He still had those bears

Although he didn't sleep with them in fear of destroying them,

They sit nicely on the shelf across from his bed

So they watch over him

Absolutely goes nuts when you get kidnapped, knowing you're probably showing whoever it is baby photos of him

He was a cute kid, but not everyone needs to see that!

[theplanetprince]

Some more dash and a-lister posts that technically aren't canon but I feel like should be.

-Sam before her goth phase used to actually have playdates with Dash and Paulina because of parental obligation things. They all have a mutual understanding to never bring this up.

-they were the kids that had elaborate/cursed pretend barbie soap operas.

-dash stopped hanging around the girls in like the 5th grade, and this kick started Sam's joker phase bc of this "betrayal."

-Paulina's family bought a bunch of possibly haunted furniture from Ghostwriter's estate sale -- it has the side effect of giving her weird dreams and chronic head aches, but damn that chaise lounge looks killer.

-i full hearted believe that Dash if given enough time would have become the phantom's team medic. And when asked why he was such a jackass freshman year he would say "its because it's infinitely easier to hurt people than to fix them."

-on top of the cutesy band aids and teddy bear collection, Dash has a pink DS as well as other stuff like this. Its genuinely his favorite color, mostly because it's practical-- you can see it really easily, he knows no one else on the football team would have pink stuff-- ten percent because it looks good on him.

-Dash is Sidney Poindexter's Nephew. Sidney Poindexter was Dash's Father's brother.

-Same thread I think it would be funny if Star was distantly related to Young Blood- explaining her childish traits.

-Kwan's family owns a liquor store or some other small business in town. I say liquor store because it would be really funny to have a store called "Amity Park Spirits."

-Kwan's dad I feel like would be friends with Jack. Or at the very least Kwan's dad is friendly with Jack.

-Kwan is extremely different around strangers versus his real friends. Kwan is formal and courteous with strangers whereas his friendship Dash allows them both to indulge in their worst traits.

-Kwan and Val are Exs but are still really good friends, because no one can resist Kwan's charms. No one.

-Paulina and Dash love horror movies, Kwan can't stand them.

-Kwan is actually just a big of a coward as Dash maybe bigger but his fear response is to freeze, instead of run.

-Paulina, Dash, and Star try to keep up with the Phantom and ghost stuff-- while Kwan and Wes sound like those guys who can't tell celebrities apart.

-Kwan and Wes-- underrated dynamic I feel. Absolute Sunshine Child with the crustiest little guy.

-Wes only looks short in comparison to the others but being the basketball dork he still towers over the phantom trio. Though Paulina and Star don't let him get a big head about it-- they wear heels to dwarf him.

-Wes and Tucker are on the school paper together. Half because Wes is stalking them, half because he wants to perfect the craft of writing the perfect roast. Tucker despite thinking Wes is a total clown show often works with him on assignments.

[i-write-boop-spoops]

N Harmonia Fluff Alphabet

One anon asked for an N fluff alphabet and another asked for just any N content, so I hope this sates you both!

Not proof read so rip me

Enjoy!

A = Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time?)

Rather expectantly, N loves looking after Pokemon with you! Whether you’re playing with, feeding or tending to them, he really enjoys seeing you being so sweet and kind to cute little mons and giant scary monsters alike.

He also loves just snuggling up with you and playing with each other’s’ hair. He really cherishes that kind of gentle, intimate affection.

Other than that, he really enjoys doing mundane things with you, stuff like going grocery shopping, cleaning the house, gardening etc, even before you live together. There’s something very comforting about it.

Oh, and he loves dancing with you!

B = Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

He admires your kindness obviously, but also your determination and resilience! He thinks you’re so strong, and in turn, it emboldens him too!

As for physical beauty? He loves your smile, even just a little quirk of your lips makes him so happy. It’s just so precious!

C = Comfort (how do they help their s/o when they feel down? what makes them feel better?)

N isn’t the best at this kind of stuff, but he definitely tries his best to offer you support. Usually he just sits with you and lets you vent, or cry into his shoulder, often bringing a cute pokemon with him to cheer you up. He also likes bringing you on walks, hoping it might clear your head.

His words of affirmation, though few, are quite powerful, so you know he means them.

When he’s sad, he’d like to be treated in a similar fashion, just quiet support and cute Pokemon

D = Dreams (how do they picture their future with their s/o and in general?)

N doesn’t really know how he wants his life to go, the only thing he’s certain of is that he wants to continue improving the relationships between humans and Pokemon, and that he wants to be with you for the rest of time.

E = Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they rather passive?)

Due to his lack of experience, he’s definitely more on the passive side, preferring to let you take the lead when it comes to dates and stuff. Though he has no problem asserting himself (gently) if he wants to do something else instead.

F = Fight (how quick are they to forgive their s/o? what are they like in an argument? who says sorry first?)

N hates fighting with you, absolutely despises it, so he tends to avoid it when he can. Inevitably, like in all relationships, you end up in a few spats. He’s never mean to you, but he does try talk over you and has a habit of just walking out instead of working out the issue right away. Really he just goes for a walk to calm him down, and he’s usually back in an hour or two, but you probably don’t solve your disagreement until the next day.

He finds it quite easy to admit fault and apologise, so you don’t have to weasel a ‘sorry’ out of him. And due to his earnest nature, you know he means it.

G = Gifts (what kind of things do they gift to their s/o? are they spontaneous or do they stick to special events like anniversaries?)

When N gives a gift, most of the time, he doesn’t even realise it. He just sees something he thinks you’d like and just gives it to you without a second thought. Usually it’s pretty flora or candy, occasionally it’s a plush. Sometimes you get gifts very often, sometimes it’s weeks, maybe months, between each present.

H = Heart Eyes (what are they like in love? is it obvious to others? how do they express their love? do they brag about their s/o to others?)

N can be described as blissfully confused when in love. So soft and blushy and not totally sure what he’s feeling, but he sure does love it, and you. His Pokemon friends pick up on it immediately and root for the two of you.

Unintentionally brags. He just thinks you’re swell and tends to bring that up often, but he’s not trying to gloat.

I = Impression (what first attracted them to their s/o? how accurate was their first impression to how their s/o actually is?)

You seemed to handle that little joltik so carefully as you returned it to its mother galvantula, without an ounce of fear or malice in your eyes, and truly only kindness in your heart. It made him feel so at ease, like he had found a kindred spirit.

Not only was he right, he also found his soulmate too,

J = Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?)

N doesn’t quite understand jealousy. Like, you love each other, what does he have to worry about? He likes your friends a lot, and he finds anybody who tries to flirt with you more annoying than anything else

K = Kiss (are they a good kisser? what was their first kiss like? where do they kiss the most?)

At the beginning, N’s kisses are sweet but awkward, he’s so new to it, so he’s a bit afraid he might make a mistake. As your relationships progresses though, he becomes more comfortable and confident with it, and kisses reflect that, so soft and caring and full of meaning

I did a whole thing about N and kissing here

L = Little Things (what are the little things they love about their s/o? are they attentive?)

Really what doesn’t he love? It’s not that he puts you on a pedestal, he just genuinely finds you amazing and he loves you so much

M = Marriage (do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would the wedding be like?)

N doesn’t feel the need to marry you, as long as you’re in love, that’s what matters to him, a piece of paper doesn’t make it any more valid than it is in his eyes.

That being said, if you want to get married, he’s down for it, but don’t expect anything sappy or traditional. No proposal, no huge event, just the two of you exchanging heartfelt vows at the courthouse, with matching rings.

N = Nicknames (what do they call their s/o? what do they get called?)

He doesn’t really use nicknames, just the occasionally “Love” or “Dear”

On the flipside, he loves your nicknames for him. Some of his favourites are “Cutie”, “Sweetie”, “Greenie” and “Nat”

O = Open (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? is it easy for them to share?)

While I wouldn’t say N is an open book, he doesn’t really hide things from you. He tells you how he feels without much fanfare, and you’re made aware of his past quite early on, even before you started dating.

P = Pancakes (are they a good cook? how often do they cook for their s/o? breakfast in bed or fancy dinner dates?)

N’s actually pretty good at cooking, and tends to cook pretty often, especially when you’re on the road together. His meals are simple and comforting, sometimes spicy, lots of soups and curries and rice.

Since he’s vegetarian, he prefers to cook for the two of you instead of going out, since most restaurants don’t have great options for him. That being said, if you find a place with a good menu, he’s totally down to take you there.

Q = Quirk (a random quality/ability that is beneficial to their relationship.)

N does not understand the concept of BS, so you don’t have to worry about playing weird mind games to find out what he really wants. As a result, your relationship is quite chill

R = Romance (how romantic are they? are they cliché or creative?)

Again, he’s not traditionally romantic, but he does care about you quite a lot and loves making you smile. And while it doesn’t say “I love you” very often, he means it, and that is a lot more valuable than any serenade or flower bouquet

S = Sleep (who falls asleep first? do they need their s/o close to them? do they have any bad habits?)

If you play with his hair, he’s out like a light. While he’s cuddles are lax and loose when he’s awake, he hugs you like a teddy when he’s fast asleep.

His sleep routine is shit though.

T = Thrill (do they need to spice up their relationship with new things or do they stick to a routine? how often do they do new things?)

N loves the cosiness of domestic mundanity, so it’s safe to say he likes to play it, well, safe. It gives him a sense of comfort and stability that he really appreciates.

U = Unity (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? what traits do they share?)

Through being with you, N learns to be more attentive and emotional (in a healthy way), and to appreciate humans even more. He also feels more human too.

While you already loved Pokemon, he makes you see how truly amazing and special they are, and treat them even better than you did before.

V = Value (how important is their relationship to them? what is it worth compared to other things in their life?)

Your relationship is very important to him, but deep down, you know his love for Pokemon trumps his love for you. Though it never causes an issue with you

W = Wild Card (a random fluff headcanon.)

Likes to make matching flower crowns for the two of you and whatever Pokemon you’’re with at the time!

X = XOXO (do they like to kiss and cuddle? are they upfront about their relationship or rather shy when in public?)

N loves fluttery kisses and really tender hugs and cuddles, ones when you’re loosely tanged together and gently stroking each other’s skin.

He is not a PDA person at all, besides holding your hand and the occasional kiss. Some of it is shyness, but it’s mostly because he doesn’t feel the need to prove your relationship to anyone. He doesn’t use affection lightly.

Y = Yearning (how do they cope when they spend time away from their s/o? do they miss their s/o?)

He’s pretty okay on his own, since he’s quite used to it, but he does still miss you a lot. He finds comfort in things that remind you of him, a certain scent, a flower, a sound, even a Pokemon, it makes him feel like you’re with him

Z = Zoo (do they have pets? do they want some in the future?)

N doesn’t have any pets, mainly because he thinks Pokemon are friends. How many Poke-friends does he have? Too many for even him to count. My man radiates serious Disney Princess energy with the way Pokemon seem to flock to him.

That being said, he’s not against good people having Pokemon as pets, so if you have pokemon, you know he’ll be the best dad to them ever.

[willowplantcat]

letsa fuckin go :3

1.- probably my legos i have one of a tree i really love and one of an octopus and shark :3

2.- im pretty comfy being 167 tho it wouldnt be bad to be 165

3.- dark brown looks sometimes black

4.- i dont really know ig being bald is a fear

5.- :3c

6.- yes (not current partner tho they are nice :3)

7.- reading and legos

8.- mmm ig hiding and lisening to music, wheb im anxious i tent to want to be alone or with people i really trust

9.- physical and gifts i love giving hugs and gifts

10.- a lot

11.- maybe, depends on the rules and if they backfire

12.- i know two (spanish and english) but knowing japanese would maybe be nice or indonesian cause i got a friend there

13.- idk really, ig near a beach but what i want the most is being with those i love :3 (sounds cheesy but like :p)

14.- dont really know

15.- like uhh 30 mins ago

16.- around the 9th of june this year

17.- no thank u :3

18.- i dont really remember dreams tbh, but i do dream a lot about goinf on dates with my partner, being cat and meeting book/videogame characters

19.-MARINE BIOLOGIST MARINE BIOLOGIST

20.- mmm idk ig just hanging out watching stars

21.- a lot tbh probably just being more organized so i dont feel like shit for not doin stuff

22.- really, again as long as u get to see my friends (and not be hunted due to race and sexuality) im fine :3

23.- cant choose tbh but i do love my friends (even if sometimes we dont talk much)

24.- YUP... (Wish i could forget it)

25.- day of the dead due being a cool part of my culture and i get to remember my great grandma who i miss :3 and christmas cause i get to eat stuff :3

26.- yes but i wouldnt really like to remeber it

27.- one i made of Ms. Fortune (from skullgirls) last year ;3

28.- Math and biology :3, and im good at cookin and a lil bit at drawing

29.-ye

30.-nop :3

31.- does global warming get fixed and when does capitalism die

32.- uhh probably if someone is like into crypto and stuff like that, or they feel like they judge people a lot, wouldnt really like to be friends with someone who is like that

33.- dont really know

34.- three (tho my current partner is honeslty the best one ive had they are a great friend and a great partner)

35.- every time i shower

36.- a lot, idk mostly about i have to do, or ideas for drawings, ocs nd stories(forget them a lot tho)

37.- my room or just wander around my house

38.- never met my dad so mom it is

39.- i try not judge others (much) and to suport them and make them feel loved and worthy

40.- idk tbh but friend voices are nice, tho anyone voice is great (unless its loud, loud noises scare me even of they are nice)

41.- "yall should be nicer and pls stop with the wars, if no one has a military budget then yall cant attack eachother"

42.- a lot tbh, me better at drawing do more chores around my house, read more, and idk hangout with friends irl more

43.- lots of stuff, but hey all my desitionshave let me to here and while i wish i could do better right now im also kinda content

44.-ye

45.- BOOK

46.- fall, or any rainy season

47.- idk tbh

48.- i used to but my dog bit most of them, they were: a deer named "venadito" a polar bear named "teddie" a lil angel named "angelito" a minecraft ocelote named "ocelote(in spanish)" and a baby snow leopard named "simba"

49.- idk tbh dont like to dwell much on bad expiriences specially if i cant learn from them

50.- (HALFWAY :3) Idk but ig a lot of micro transactions on pvz when i was younger

51.-yes :3

52.- PJO PJO PJO PJO!!!!

53.- i dont really hate anyone tbh i mostly dislike with people that are mean to friends, but even then i can still sympatice with them

54.- idk :p

55.-Deltarun, stardew valley, celeste and hollow knight :3 (i love undertale but its kimds overshined by these)

56.- when i feel cornered or like i made someone mad at me

57.- Eh not really but i do sometimes wake up feelin nice :3

58.- i think so

59.- a lot tbh, tho i do sometimes wish i still felt like i was responsable and smarter

60.-ye

61.- not really

62.- any "here is an ad that is nothing like the game" game and garten of banban but even then itsa bit of a guilty pleasure over how bad it is

63.- i watch him form time to tiem he is very cool (cant wait for his iron lung movie tbh)

64.- a dumb smile, blushing, and somes a bit of crying if they really touch me

65.- id they are nice and passionate (also if they can step on me)

66.- ye

67.- my partner :3

68.-ye

69.- nope never will

70.- idk tbh :p bur huntlow is one of my favs (not my fav but its up there)

71.- idk tbh but mona lisa my mxtoons is nice

72.- NO (fuck loud noises)

73.- i hope not

74.- 99% of the time is like i was dead cause i cant feel anything and barely anythim wakes me up the other 1% is filled with dread

75.- when im nervous

76.- no :p

77.-yup 3 doggies

78.- brown (people tell me i have sluty eyes idk what that means tbh)

79.- be more responsible and less anxious

80.- ye i had my appendix removed :p

81.- not really i dont like most bugs tho

82.- being responsible and doing chores

83.- nop

84.- yeah borgers are nice, but only form time to time

85.- no..

86.- uhhh 5th semester in highschool

87.-not really

88.- tumblr discord instagram

89.- uh dont remeber but i think its 7

90.- 4 am

91.- i have some ig my hair is kinda puffy

92.- skibidy toiltet and honesly any "haha xd banban huggy epic troll poop minecraft adventure" thing

93.- HOODIES

94.- YE

95.- its pretty on others, dont really like it on myself tho makes me feel bad

96.- why would anyone hate a specific time

97.- people do that? Huh guess you learn somethin new every day

98.- standard

99.- yeah it sucks i mostly fell alseep tbh

100.- yup am bisexual gendefluid and a cat :p

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

[danteinthedevildom]

Dude your stuff is absolutely amazing, I meant every word. And now I have the confidence to request something! So, in the anime MC is being portrayed as an actual sheep, which I still think is genius. But what do you think about “Sheep”!MC? Super short and cute, with the fluffy pink hair, totally harmless looking. Buuuut despite barely being able to fight, they’re always ready to attack a demon, even if it’s one of the brothers. I dunno, the idea of a tiny MC trying to punch Lucifer for insulting Mammon popped into my head like a month ago and hasn’t left me alone since lmao

I absolutely LOVE the concept of absolutely tiny MC always ready to go even though it's absolutely, probably a death wish, and I will go through, in extensive detail, the reasons why.

Note: this post is written for Gender Neutral MC and uses they/them pronouns!

+ In general, I like to imagine that demons are just Naturally Taller than most humans, so something like 5ft 10 would actually be super tiny to them. "Sheep"!MC being smaller than that would be a genuine novelty - they're so tiny, that's just... not something they really come across in the Devildom? Even baby animals are larger than them, in some cases, which really just highlights how helpless their new human charge is - but it would also quickly present itself to be a complete NIGHTMARE that none of them considered.

+ On the first day at R.A.D. Mammon spends ten frantic minutes trying to find a very, very tiny human in a crowd of comparably giant demons because he took his eyes off of them for one (1) second, and apparently that was long enough for them to scarper off. Who knew such tiny legs could move so fast!

+ Eventually, he finds "sheep"!MC cornered by demons. That's bad enough, of course, except then, as he nears them, he watches with abject horror (and a little respect) as the tiny human tries to headbutt one of their assailants. Surprisingly, it works - though that might be because they're on perfect height to get the demon directly in the stomach. Not enough to incapacitate them, but enough that the demon's surprised, which means now "sheep"!MC can run!

+ "Sheep"!MC does not run. In fact, "sheep"!MC does the complete opposite: they stand their ground and... okay, it's hard to tell through the thick curls covering their eyes, but Mammon's pretty sure they're staring the demons down? Okay. Little human's got guts. Which might become more than metaphorical if the little human doesn't run like hell.

+ In the end, he has to save them before they really do get gutted. Just a little pressure from his aura, a quick, snappy line, and bam - those lesser demons are running off with their tails between their legs (quite literally, for one of them). He absolutely expects to be thanked for saving them - how heroic, right? He actually did his job! - but instead, as he's gloating, they just. Stamp on his foot. It doesn't hurt (like, honestly, he barely even felt it), but the sheer audacity of it stuns him into silence. They even look mad at him!

+ This tends to happen... a lot, actually. By the end of their first day, there's a plethora of tales running about the academy of the tiny, frail human who keeps trying to attack demons. They even tried to bite one! The brothers think it's hyperbolic at first, but a rather shaken Simeon later informs them that it's completely true; he had to physically grab their cape a few times to stop them from leaping over their desk to deck a demon in the few classes they shared together.

+ Looking after "sheep"!MC is a full-House job. They have a tendency to sneak away whenever any of the brothers look away for even a fraction of a section. It's even happened to Lucifer a few times, much to his absolute bafflement. The truth of it is that "sheep"!MC's so small, it's very easy for them to get drawn into crowds and accidentally bumped away from the brothers. They don't always intend to get separated from them (though sometimes they definitely do), but when it does happen, they don't exactly... rush to find their caretaker again. In fact, they tend to just wander 'round the halls, chest puffed out and chin up, acting like they're ten feet tall and not just barely brushing hip-height on some of the larger demons.

+ Some of them have found out that it's actually better to just hold onto "sheep"!MC somehow. Whether that means holding onto their wrist (Mammon), their hand (Asmo), or their shoulder (Satan), they can at least feel the moment "sheep"!MC tries to slip away and tug them back towards them - often very grumpily, which leads to them very ineffectually trying to dig their heels in.

+ Naturally, they're not scared of the brothers, either. If anyone tries to pick them up, they will attack - often with kicks and punches, but also with vicious attempts to scratch at any bared skin and tug on hair. Most of them can ignore it or at least hold "sheep"!MC at arm's length, but it does mean they're squirmy as hell, which makes carrying them a challenge. Asmo's really the only one who still tries to pick them up for fun - the others mostly do it if they've tried to run away too much or if they need to get somewhere quickly - but even he's a little more cautious of it after getting his hair yanked a few times too many.

+ The sheer audacity of their bravery knows no bounds, and it's... kind of cute, sometimes. They've punched Mammon in the shoulder for being a dick before, and while it doesn't hurt, the fact that they do it without fear for their limbs - or their life, in general - is just. Amazing, actually. They don't even have qualms with gently kicking Mammon to make him budge up on the sofa, or trying to shove him off the bed with their feet when he takes up too much space (which doesn't work, ever, but it's hilarious, and sometimes he slides off the bed just to make them feel better).

+ What isn't so cute are the times they come between the brothers. That's... terrifying, actually. In general, y'know, when the brothers aren't actually going to hurt each other - when they're just being demons, and brothers, and there's no (permanent) harm intended - "sheep"!MC still comes in to defend the brothers they're closest to. Mostly it's Mammon, because of course it is; he's the one they spend most of their time with, and he's the one who gets targeted most. It makes sense that they jump to his defence, throwing cutlery if it happens at breakfast/dinner, or charging at the brother if they happen to be standing.

+ (Especially after they've finally gotten used to him enough to let him hold them at night, cuddled up in bed, because he sleeps better like that; when they're no longer trying to kick him away, and instead curl up in his arms like a tiny, tiny teddy bear.)

+ Sometimes, though, they'll stand before Beel when Satan's furious at him for emptying out the fridge again, or between Levi and Asmo when they're arguing about which thing is better, and it stuns them all enough that they just... stop. Even before they've fully accepted "sheep"!MC as part of the House, or before they've formed all their pacts. There's just something strange in seeing someone so tiny leap in, fully prepared to attack and defend, that ends most arguments without a fight.

+ Not that it happens all the time, though. Sometimes, if Lucifer's threatening to string Mammon up to the rafters, or if he's berating Mammon for something "sheep"!MC knows he didn't do, they'll really attack. And that's... that's not good. There's only so many times the Avatar of Pride can take a punch to the kidney, or side-step a headbutt, or grab them by the scruff before they can charge, before he starts to get pissed. Does this stop them? Of course not. Even with the full pressure of Lucifer's anger bearing down on them, they'll stand their ground and prepare for a fight.

+ The brothers, as they get closer to "sheep"!MC, often find themselves spending more time trying to diffuse situations or quickly squirrel "sheep"!MC away before things go south than they do anything else. They berate them, of course, as much as each of them can, but it never seems to stick. Because of course, half the time, "sheep"!MC's body leaps into action before their brain does. Half the time, they've moved without even realising it, head tucked down or fist raised, moving on instinct.

+ (There's often a difference between "sheep"!MC leaping to action like an anime gag and moving to someone's defence like a BNHA character. The first they can tell happening by "sheep"!MC's face; they might not show their eyes, but they're expressive as hell regardless, lips curling into wide snarls and tugging down into deep frowns. That's when they leap and someone grabs them, holding them in the air as their arms and legs flail uselessly, more put-on by their fighty nature than anything else. The second, though? That's preceeded by "sheep"!MC's face going blank. That's when they move so quickly that it's clear their body is moving on its own. That's when the brothers stand frozen in place, staring in horrified awe at this tiny, brave little human stepping into the path of danger over something the brothers could easily survive - but they definitely can't.)

+ The TSL competition really does almost lead to "sheep"!MC's death. They don't run, don't even think to; the moment they see Levi charge at them, even in full demon form, they stand their ground and snarl. Mammon almost has a heart attack that day - especially when Levi's attack hits them, and sends their tiny body flying back against the wall.

+ Brave little human, even after getting yeeted across the room, tries to get back up again. It's that stubbornness - the refusal to give up, even though they're clearly out of their league - that spurs Lucifer into action. He's impressed by them, if you'd believe it; most humans would cower just at the sight of a demon in their demonic form, and even less would try to go down fighting after such a display of strength. So he steps in, personally, and defends them with his full form out.

+ He doesn't expect a thank you, but it's still amusing, seeing them half-slumped on the floor, being worried over by Mammon, steadfastly ignoring the second-born to downright glower at him for stepping in. There's no question that they would have died hadn't someone helped, and yet still they remain stubborn. He's pretty sure they'd even try to kick him, if they had the strength left to do so; their leg twitches as if trying to do that very action, just before he leaves.

+ It's less amusing when it happens to him, however. When he's found them in the crypt, with Beel and Luke behind them, their stance wide as if hoping that will somehow hide Beel's gigantic form. No, their stubbornness is infuriating in that moment; a blow to his own pride, to see something so small and pathetic attempt to stop him.

+ But they won't move. "Sheep"!MC knows, logically, that they'll die if they take an actual, full-on attack from a demon, but there's fight in them and they don't intend to go down without one. Is it a little reckless? Maybe. Would it be better if they just stepped to the side? Probably. Would they make it through the year by keeping their head down, being good, doing as they're told? Absolutely. But they're not going to do that. And they will stare down Pride himself, knowing that they'll die, if it means they can say they tried.

+ After this incident, "sheep"!MC starts wearing a headband with little sheep horns on it, commissioned from Levi. He's not too sure why they used the pact to make him do it, or even why they asked for it, but it's a fun little project to do and even works as a bonding experience for them. On top of that, it suits them! Ack - no, wait, it's made them too cute - he made a mistake!

+ He's genuinely surprised to learn that the horns aren't, in fact, meant to make them look like a sheep - which earns him a punch to the side for suggesting, and a pretty stern pout - but are meant to emulate a demon form. He thinks it's because of him, for a moment - that he scarred them so much when he attacked them, they're trying to cope by... being what they feared? Maybe? - but then "sheep"!MC tells him the truth, and he loses it.

+ They think the horns will make them look more scary and less like they should be fucked with - not because they're scared, but because they're getting annoyed that demons keep picking fights with them. They think the horns look badass. Levi doesn't have the heart to tell them that it's the cutest thing he's ever seen.

+ Most of the brothers agree that the horns do make "sheep"!MC look cute, and that's even when most of them start using "little sheep" as a nickname for their human. They still stubbornly wear the horns, despite the nickname.

+ "Sheep"!MC is ridiculously stubborn. They're cute, and sweet, and that's just a genuine fact; when they're not being bitey as all hell, or trying to leap head-first into danger, they look like the most adorable little thing in all the Three Realms. Asmo even has a collection of photos and videos on Devilgram solely dedicated to dressing "sheep"!MC up in cute outfits, and it's ridiculously popular. But what those things don't show is how often "sheep"!MC will be belligerant over seemingly nothing. Why, yes, this does include agreeing to do a photoshoot for Asmo and then refusing to wear anything he picks because he implied he didn't trust them to choose a good outfit.

+ That's also led to some potentially dangerous situations, of course - such as "sheep"!MC purposefully ignoring Lucifer's advice not to eat something because he said it would be "in their best interest" not to, only to be told by a frantic Mammon a few moments later that what they're eating isn't human-safe.

+ Sometimes "sheep"!MC will let the brothers pull them into their laps, because they're small enough to actually fit comfortably there and have the brothers rest their chins on their head. It can even be nice! But they do have a tendency to use that position to their advantage - namely, to headbutt the brother they're sitting on under the chin when they're getting annoyed (such as if Levi's gloating/cheating at a game, or Asmo's playing too much with their hair, or Mammon's squeezing them a little too tight while arguing over whether or not he should let them sit in someone else's lap). It's one of the few ways they actually can hurt the brothers, but mostly because it tends to make them bite their own tongues.

+ If you want to imagine something hilarious that at the time was genuinely terrifying, please consider this: Henry 1.0, moving at speeds that give even Mammon a run for his money, appearing in the distance. Asmo and Solomon, in confusion slowly morphing into fear, turning on tail to run before the great beast can reach them. "Sheep"!MC, immediately widening their stance to take on the fuck-off huge serpent that has the second and third borns running for their lives, standing their ground, head tipped down to point their horns forward. Mammon, grabbing the back of "sheep"!MC's jacket as he runs past them, hauling them over his shoulder while screaming in terror, as they pound at his back and kick at his chest, demanding to be put down so they can fist fight a snake. A typical day in the House of Lamentation.

+ If Belphie thought killing this MC was going to be easy, he's dead wrong. It's not exactly a challenge, sure - they are still human, and still much smaller than him at that - but he wasn't expecting the counter-deception of getting headbutted in the gut when he opened his arms up for a hug. It's just enough to surprise him, and means he's a second too slow to grab them when they dart back.

+ By the time he does eventually grab them, he's panting hard, a little bruised, and very frustrated. Who knew being small could have its advantages? They're quick and nimble; a few times he thought he'd gotten them, only for them to dart off to the side or dive between his legs. They'd always land a hit, too, whenever that happened - which didn't hurt, but the one time they tugged on his tail did smart a little, and that was just... unforgivable.

+ "Sheep"!MC doesn't forgive, and they definitely don't forget. There's no easy getting back into their good books, even after the new timeline's settled. Belphie has to deal with getting headbutted a lot after that whole debacle's ended, even when he thinks they're actually getting along well. If he gets too close? They lash out with a fist. If he tries to reach out for them? Their blunt teeth dig into his flesh before he's even aware they turned around. If he's sleeping somewhere they've claimed as "theirs"? Well, that one varies, but he's been shoved off beds, kicked, and had water dumped on him. It'd be impressive if it wasn't so... annoying. But he deals with it. Only because Beel wants him to.

+ You may be wondering, "has "sheep"!MC ever punched the prince?" And the answer would be yes. It wasn't on purpose, the time it happened; Diavolo, sans Barbatos for once, had somehow managed to sneak up on the little human exchange student, and thought he'd have just a bit of fun. It's not exactly like he gets a chance to be a normal demon that often, after all.

+He'd reached out to very gently tap them on the shoulder, expecting them to maybe jump a foot in the air, or to shriek with fear, so that he could say "surprise!" and laugh as they realised it was him.

+ Instead, just before he could reach their shoulder, they'd spun on heel and socked him dead in the gut.

+ He'd been so surprised that he'd stammered out an apology, watched them walk off in an indignant huff, and only started laughing at the absurdity of the situation several minutes later, when Barbatos asked why he was standing gourmlessly in the hallway.

I could probably go on much longer, but the post's getting a little long, so instead I'll leave you with this:

I haven't drawn in like ten thousand years and it absolutely shows, but the moment I read the words "sheep"!MC, this is what came to mind - and I just had to try and give my best rendition to it because the thought was so fucking funny to me.

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

TWD - Negan Imagine ~ “Find Me”

Imagine about the 18th episode of season 10

Summary: Maggie’s arrival in Alexandria puts a strain on Negan and the Reader’s relationship, that feeds off their worst fears and forces them to work through their pain and panic about their future together 

Dusk was falling over Alexandria, lulling it slowly but surely into its mellow, dusty blue light. The sun had entirely sunken behind the treeline by now, leaving the air stripped off its warmth and brisk as it flowed into the small woodhouse by the walls.  Negan had driven his last nail into the planks of the damaged house merely a half hour ago, frowning and unusually quiet since the moment Maggie and her son had walked into Alexandria. He’d barely said a thing since then and neither had you, too tense and shocked even though both of you had known that this moment would come one day or another.  With a deep sigh, you moved in to start and collect the medical utensils you’d just used on your last patient, hoping that preparing dinner back at your house would allow Negan to distract himself a little.  The loud squeaking of the wooden floor planks made you flinch up slightly and shoot your glance towards the open door in a split second as a figure shielded the last light from falling inside. “Hey”, Daryl grumbled as he glimpsed at you and raised his hands slightly in response to your reaction,”Just me.” “Oh hi”, you said, straightening yourself up from your crouched position over the table,”Sorry, I was just surprised. Thought I was the only one left here.” Daryl nodded slightly, his eyes wandering over the table with the last meds that you had to pack back up again before he looked back up. “There’s still someone at the infirmary?”, he asked, shaking his head slightly as you started to look him over, intuitively searching for any injuries or wounds on him that needed need treatment,“Not for me, for the newbies.” Maggie’s group. For a moment, you were a little startled before you caught yourself again and started to nod as you moved in to lay a bunch of bandages back inside the bag. “Yeah, Steve usually takes that shift so he should still be there for some time”, you said, gulping slightly as you tried to act as casual as you could, though this whole situation made you nothing but tense, “It’s only him though. Is a lot of care needed?” “Nah, they’re mostly fine...Maggie just settled ‘em down in one of the houses”, he mumbled with a slight shake of his head, before it got quiet for a moment and the question you’d felt pressing you from within finally slipped out of your lips. “Who exactly are they by the way?”, you asked, glimpsing at Daryl who visibly seemed to tense up,”I’m just curious.” Shifting from foot to foot Daryl looked away from you, his glance bouncing around the room before he cleared his throat slightly. “Her people. Ran into their community years back and lived there till some psychos destroyed it...Came back here to get a new safe place”, he grumbled as his eyes finally landed back on you and he rubbed his hand tensely over his arm, “One of ‘em followed them back here, killed a couple when we were outside until we could get him...that’s why we’ve been out there for longer, made sure that all of ‘me are gone.” You only nodded as you listened to the story, trying by all means to not show how tense you actually were. What had happened out there must have been horrible, and you had never been against taking people into Alexandria, but there was something about this all that rubbed you the wrong way.  Maggie was only back because her old community got attacked and they needed a new place. She left for years and was only back because of these events and directly rolled into the place as if she owned it, as if bringing a bunch of new people didn’t need to at least be talked about with the council, just to clear things up.  Maybe you were being oversensitive when it came to her, maybe not, but the thought that she might try to hurt Negan’s position within this community after leaving for years and only coming back because her new place failed to persevere brought a whole new wave of suspense and a sense of anger over you. “You’re done for the day?”, Daryl asked after you’d become quiet for a moment, visibly sunken into your thoughts. “Yeah I’m just finishing that up and then I’ll get back home”, you said, nodding towards the bag and brushing the tense feelings and thoughts out of the way for a moment as Daryl tilted his head and brought them right back with merely two words. “Negan’s there?”

“Yeah”, you only nodded, trying to act as if you hadn’t heard the slight stinger in his voice. You weren’t in the mood for this type of discussion, especially not now and not with him. ”Finished his work and already wanted to prepare some dinner.” “Things about him aren’t decided yet, y’know that right?” You’d known that he’d say something like this. You’d known it and still it got you more worked up than you already were. “I know that we can use any helping hand to built Alexandria back up”,you said, trying to keep your cool even though you could hear your own voice shaking slightly with suspense ,”And Negan has two healthy and strong hands that are pretty much needed right now.” Just like they were needed to kill Alpha. You suppressed this last part, for now. You knew your half brother more than well enough to know which kind of comments would make him shut down immediately and though there was an urge in you to repeat once more for him what would have happened to all these places without Negan’s help, you refrained from it. You wouldn’t shy away to throw it at him if things got more serious, but this right now was not the place or time. “We didn’t get to have these type of things for all these last years... we’re just enjoying whatever we can get”, you only added, calmer now and a bit more conciliable though that didn’t let the slight frown on Daryl’s face to vanish. “Well”, he grumbled, glimpsing at you through the brown strands of hair that fell into his face,”Do it for as long as you can.” Clenching your jaw you stared at him, growing more hostile with every passing second. That remark wasn’t needed, he could have just kept it for himself, just like you had done it for the sake of the moment. You could feel the anger starting to built up within you, starting to push you more and more back into your defensive mode as you let out a sharp breath. “He’s earned his spot”, you said, throwing in the last salve that had laid on the table into the bag before you shut it and glanced back up at Daryl,”So I hope that we can do it for a very long time.” A mere huff fell from his lips and he only nodded before he started to walk back towards the door and grumbled his last words to you. “See you around.”

The encounter with Daryl left you with even more tense than you already had been since the moment Maggie had walked back into Alexandria, so much that you hurried to get out of the house and walk back home as soon as Daryl was gone. The cool evening air barely helped cooling yourself down as well as the worries that kept on pressing in on you, trying to creep back into your head and turn everything upside down. A thick sigh left your lips as you moved from the grassy underground that surrounded the houses by the wall onto the blacktop of the street and passed by the last few workers who were out here, doing their job. A few of them carried wood towards the other side of Alexandria where the walkers had left a smaller hole in the wall that still needed to be fixed and a few others carried shovels and a small wheelbarrow that was filled with some unearthed wildflowers towards the graveyard that had been damaged by the walking dead as well. A tight breath left your lips as you walked past it, watching the workers move into the back where most graves still needed to be fixed with new or fixed crosses and flowers, and yet it wasn’t any of those graves that made you halt, but one in the front. It was the freshest grave, the cross already fixed and with new flowers already planted by its side and even from your spot on the street you were able to read the name of your friend that was carved into the light wood. You missed him. You barely had time to grieve and process what Dante had done to him, nor had you been able to realize that he was gone.  During the last days, you’d often found yourself turning around in the infirmary, wanting to ask him something only to realize that you would never have the chance to do so again. Things at the infirmary were working fine, but it wasn’t the same, especially because you hadn’t just lost a colleague but a friend, one of the only people who’d never judged or distrusted you because of your relationship to Negan. Someone who you’d been able to talk about to about random things, whether it was about the infirmary and medicine, stuff that was going on in Alexandria or anything that just seemed interesting at the moment.  Now, whenever you seemed to talk to someone it lead back to your relationship, to you having to defend it as well as Negan’s new found freedom, just like with Daryl just now. You were tired of it, of these discussions that were always the same and of the helplessness to not be able to decide what was happening in your life. All you wanted was to live peacefully with Negan in that house and built something up with him.  You didn’t ask for more, just that.  A tight breath left your lips as you glimpsed at the grave again, trying to keep a lump from growing in your throat as your eyes caught the tiny teddy bear by the cross Rosita must have put there with Coco. “Fuck”, you mumbled to yourself, trying to blink the first tears away that had shot into your eyes before you forced yourself to move further down the street, trying to keep your mind from traveling into darker places, places that would tell you that Siddiq’s grave and the graves of all these other people were only proof of how easy it was to still lose loved ones at any given moment. Of how easy it still was for you to lose Negan. Though you only wanted to come home as fast as you could, you took the extra route around the lake in Alexandria’s midst, trying to let the walking and the colder growing air calm your head down and snap back to normal. Unsurprisingly, it only helped semi-well and you still felt tense when you walked up the porch of your home, only held together by the thought to enjoy any time you could get with Negan in here. “I’m home”, you called out as soon as you shut the door with a small thud behind you and felt the scent of Negan’s dinner fill the air. “Hey Baby”, you heard him call back as you found him standing by the stove, frying some vegetables in the pan along with the portion of boar that you’d gotten after a group went out to hunt yesterday.   “Smells good”, you said, letting your bag down to the floor before you moved in to wrap your arms around Negan from behind and peeked at the simmering meal. “Sure hope it also tastes good”, he said, forcing up a smile that broke through the tension that still visibly laid over his face as he turned just enough to press a small kiss over your lips. “I’m sure it will”, you mumbled back, nuzzling your nose into the fabric of his shirt while you could feel his tense body shifting slightly. A small groan left his lips as he flexed his back and shoulders a little, tensed up not only due to the Maggie’s reappearance but also the work he’d done all day. “You wanna go take a bath together later on?”, you asked, peaking up at him as you loosened your embrace around him to stroke your hand softly over his strained shoulders, hoping that the bath could be yet another distraction for the both of you,”can do wonders.” “Yeah”,you only heard Negan say with a nod, no cocky grin or wolfish remark as usual, and even though it was a ridiculously small detail, its absence only showed you more how fraught he truly was. ”I think the food is done.”

Oddly silent you moved over with him to the already set table and got some of the food onto both of your plates and started to eat, though neither of you seemed truly hungry after today’s events.  You tried to get something down, but the suspense that filled the room was so palpable that it closed up your throat and weighed so heavily down on you that you found yourself more poking into our food than actually eating it. It was the same for Negan, he was barely eating and what concerned you more, he wasn’t talking at all.  The suspense-filled silence seemed to take up everything and kept you locked into your spot, unsure of what do do or say while Negan only seemed to tense up more with every passing minute until his voice cut through the silence. “That kid has no Dad ‘cause of me.” Your glance shot up to him the moment he spoke it out, feeling your heart sinking as you watched him gulping thickly without looking up once, he only stared at the wood of the table as if it was the only thing keeping him from breaking. A trembling breath fell from your lips as you slowly moved in and grasped his hand, squeezing it softly as you tried to find the right words without making the situation harder than it already was. “There’s a lot that lead up to that point, it wasn’t just you”, you mumbled, only to see Negan’s eyes shooting up to you while a thick huff left his lips. “Well I was the one swinging the bat, wasn’t I?” “You thought that we’d killed a whole outpost of people just to steal supplies.” Your eyes were locked onto his as you spoke, and though you tried to keep your voice firm you were insecure and unsure of how to go on as well. You were aware of the shit Negan had done in the past, but he’d paid his price and suffered enough having to work through them in these years down in the cell and you didn’t want him to fall into these deep holes again, nor did you want to lose the view for the bigger picture. A lot of things had went down back then, and not only Negan had made mistakes. ”You did those things in that night because of it and you didn’t even know she was pregnant”, you added, giving his hand another soft squeeze, “Not saying it was right but we all did shitty things back then that lead to a whole lot of deaths and destruction.” “Doesn’t change that I’m ultimately the one who made that kid fatherless.” His voice was rasp but harsh as he shook his head and moved his hand out of your grasp, running it down his face as he let out another deep sigh. “I don’t even fucking know how to feel about that myself”, he scoffed as he stared back down at the table,”But I sure as shit know that me delivering the hits in the end is all that counts to them”, “It shouldn’t...we’ve all taken the life of someone who was a loved one to someone else”, you mumbled after a moment of silence, starting to poke back into your food as if it would help you handle this while your voice became more tense,“Don’t wanna know how many kids ended up without a parent because of the things we did at that outpost or anywhere else.” “Well, thats not how anybody out there’s gonna see it.” “Yeah then it would be time to hold up a mirror for them”, you said, feeling the restlessness and anger Daryl had whirled up back at the woodhouse creep back up, “You know what Rick would’ve done with a group if that outpost had been ours and it had been our people  that had been slaughtered in their sleep?” A heavy but trembling breath rumbled through your chest as you looked over at Negan, growing more agitated as you thickly gulped. “He surely wouldn’t have just killed two. Gracie’s only here and grows up to be Aaron’s daughter because Rick killed her birth father. Her mother was likely killed too when they attacked that other outpost during the war. It’s funny how no one ever talks about that”, the words just flowed out of your lips, fueled by the pent up desperation and even fear that had simmered within you, “So if anyone tries to make you look like a monster or whatever I won’t shy away anymore to repeat these things for them...Everybody has done horrible shit. You, Rick, everybody’s who’s inside these walls including me.” Negan didn’t even look up at you, he just kept staring at the table as you placed your fork next to the plate, almost letting it fall with a clatter against the ceramic as you felt the hunger leaving your body once for all, replaced by an upset feeling that was spreading through you and let you heat up. “I won’t just let Maggie or whoever else try to make them turn on you again after you’ve earned more trust”, you said, audibly stressed,”The trust that you deserve after ripping your ass off for them.” A thick sigh left your lips as you stared at Negan, just hoping he’d look up at you while the ugly mix of helplessness, fear and anger crawled further up your body and made pinch the bridge of your nose for a moment as you felt them taking you over. “I’m just sick of these fucking new things that always pop up when things seem to get better”, it left your lips more broken, trembling and yet angrier than before as Negan’s glance finally shot up to meet yours, though the icy stare within them was the opposite of what you had wished for. “Well then maybe you should reconsider being with me”, he scoffed, hitting you with shock and confusion as you furrowed your brows at him. “What kind of comment is that?” “’Cause this is how it’s always going to be”, he snapped, the pent up tension step for step breaking out if him as you still stared wide eyes at him,”We’ll never find our goddamn peace and all these people are always gonna hate me and the fact that we’re together.” “Not everybody hates you”,you quickly retorted, for now trying to push that shitty remark away from you and onto the fact that he was scared too,”There are people who’ve grown to trust you more and my colleagues at the infirmary are all good with you being out and working, and I’ll do my best to keep it this way.” “Well but those who are in higher positions do”, he let out, a bitter chuckle falling from his lips as he shook his head before his cold stare landed back onto you while his voice grew louder ,”Aaron was ready to execute my ass and he’d still do it just given the chance. Same fucking shit with Nora and Kyle. Those who spoke up against hanging me were Siddiq and Laura and they’re fucking dead now too. Maggie’s ready to slaughter my ass and your brother would be just fine with it as well. Things wont’t stay the same as they were during the last fucking days and it sure as shit won’t get better now.” Staring at him you let out another tight breath, still holding onto your last piece of hope despite your own fears as you gulped thickly and shook your head softly. “We can’t say that for sure. Gabriel’s more on our side. Maggie isn’t a member of the council and Daryl is already being more accepting of you than he was before-“ “Goddamnit (Y/N)”, Negan’s booming voice suddenly cut you off, loud enough to make you flinch and stare wide-eyed at him as he rose up from his chair and glared down at you,”Don’t you get it?!” Your heart started to pump harshly against your chest as his loud voice sounded through the room, and you could feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with the situation while you watched the anger in him skyrocketing. “What we had these last few damn days wasn’t real, we lived in that small fucking time bubble of delusion and we both knew it would burst as soon as Maggie’d walk through these fucking gates”, he was yelling by now, his voice so heavy it made his chest shake while you were starting to tremble and felt tears shooting into your eyes as you stared up at him, still too shocked and startled to say anything while his yelling voice hit you again,”This was us pretending. We’ll never have that kind of life.” Tears were blurring your view now as you meet his glance, pumped up with fright, anger and desperation as you let out an upset sound. “I’m just trying to not give up”, you scoffed, though your voice was breaking as you stood up from your spot and pushed the chair angrily against the table as you glared at your husband ,”And don’t you fucking yell at me.” The first tears were rolling down your face as you turned away from him and and stumped towards the kitchen door, trembling breaths leaving your lips as you brushed them off your cheeks, “Screw this.” You were shaking as you rushed up the stairs, your face crunched up in pain and covered with tears that were running down your skin as you could still hear his voice booming through your head.  Negan never yelled at you. The last time you could remember him coming close to it was shortly after he got locked up, when helplessness and jealousy were eating him up. It had never happened again, not for all these years and the fact that it had happened now rattled you. He knew how much you hated being yelled at, he knew how much your past had sensitized you for it and you didn’t know how to handle Negan’s nor your your own emotions right now. You were both strained, both scared and it was your only explanation for his lash out. He could get loud, you’d seen it at the Sanctuary when he shut down Simon but he never lost control of himself during these moments. Not like now. When he yelled, he stayed under control and got back to business right after, so his lash out now, especially despite knowing how much you despised it was only proof of how scared and upset he truly was. This realization didn’t help though that the loudness of his voice and the cruelty of his words were pushing in on you as you let the door of your room fall with a loud thud into its lock and felt your emotions overwhelm you.  Heated up and trembling more and more tears started to shoot back into your eyes and rolled down your face as you rounded the bed and plopped down onto your side, feeling the mattress giving slightly in below you as sniffles left your lips. You were scared, you were so unbelievably scared. Scared of losing everything you’d worked for with Negan, scared of not ever finding your peace and worst of all, scared of losing Negan to a vengeful Maggie who was out for blood. If anything, walking past the graveyard had made this ugly feeling of fright only grow and you could feel the things you’d tried to shut out for the last days rolling over you.  Being scared of losing Negan after he saved Lydia. Living with the fear of not knowing if he was okay or even alive during the time he was gone.  Being nearly poisoned with Dante’s water.  Losing Siddiq. Constantly having to persuade others, especially Daryl, that Negan was up to good out there and wasn’t a threat, even during your time at the Hilltop. Finally getting Negan back and being glad to have him in safety and freedom only to have it threatened again with Maggie’s sudden reappearance merely two days later.  You were exhausted. This all had happened in such a small time span and you were unable to process it properly, nor the fear that you were feeling right now.  You were full on sobbing at this point, shaking and crouched over, with your elbows pressing into your thighs and your head buried into your hands that were practically soaked in your tears You couldn’t have her try to hurt or even kill him now only because he wasn’t in the cell anymore and stuck on the verge of taking his own life. You couldn’t keep on feeling so scared and worried all the time.  You just wanted to find your peace.  Slowly, you felt your body growing too exhausted to keep the sobs coming and instead, sniffles and small whimpers were only falling from your lips as you found yourself staring down at your wet hands, fumbling on them in a desperate try to distract yourself from your cruel thoughts. You weren’t even sure how much time exactly had passed since you’d stormed up here, your only indicator of time was the darkness that had by now taken up the firmament and the lamp on the nightstand you’d been forced to turn on, whose faint light was now falling onto you, your hands and the small diamonds of your wedding ring that glimmered in the light.  You silenced yourself as well as you could for a moment to hear the rustling that was coming up from the kitchen and living room. Negan had been quiet for a whole long time down there and now you could hear him clearly moving around. A shivering breath left your lips, unsure of what you should expect to happen before you started to hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, slow but steady as they started to get closer to your room. Gulping thickly you finally heard the creaking of the door as it slowly opened, while you still sat there with your back turned to him as he moved inside and softly shut the door behind him. For just another moment it stayed silent, only the slight squeaking of the floorboards below Negan’s weight was audible before you heard him speak up. ”I’m sorry”, he said, his voice heavy with guilt, so much you could hear a tremble through it,”I didn’t mean to lash out like that...I don’t know what’s going on with me, I-” He broke off, a shivering sigh filling his lips as you could hear him making a few, slow and careful steps towards the bed before he stopped again.  ”You were just trying and I went full asshole...I-...I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That was a fucking dick move...I’m sorry, I really am.” You didn’t look up yet, you were still fumbling on your hands, though you could tell that he meant it, you just didn’t know how to behave either. “I get it if you don’t wanna talk or want me to fuck off”, he breathed out, his voice still slightly trembling as he let out another sigh,”I do, I-” With the shaking of your head he halted quickly, growing silent again as you let out a small sigh. You didn’t want to fight with him. That really was the very last thing. You just wanted to talk it out and get all the shit you both had off your chests. In the end, you knew this all had only happened because you were both scared to death and while you knew that this wouldn’t just vanish you couldn’t have this fear hurt your relationship.  Slowly, you watched Negan round the bed from the corner of your eye, halting shortly before he got to you and gestured towards the spot next to you. ”Can I?” A nod of yours was enough to make Negan sit down beside you, a thick sigh falling from his lips as you could feel his glance swaying over you. The lump in your throat was quick to grow bigger again as you bit your lip and felt tears starting to fill your eyes as you finally glimpsed up at him. “I just want this fucking nightmare to end”, you said, your voice shivering and weak as your glance met his eyes that were bleary and slightly reddened as well ,”once one thing is done the next shit’s waiting for us. I hate this and I fucking hate having to have this goddamn discussion over and over again.” A heavy sigh fell from your lips as you brushed the dampness off your cheeks, sadly sure that you’d soon feel new tears running over them while your voice started to break as soon as you spoke back up again, “I don’t want Maggie to whirl everything back up and mess things up for us.” With knitted brows and sad eyes Negan glimpsed at you, pressing his lips onto one another before a stressed sound fell from his mouth. “I don’t know about the latter one but I’m sure she’s gonna whirl things up again”, he sighed, stroking over his beard while a thick gulp travelled down his throat,”Wish I could say otherwise.” You softly nodded as you could feel the tears in your eyes welling over, just in the very moment Negan reached up to stroke over your back, gently while you could tell that he was trying to hold his tears back. “But she can’t just walk in here and play boss..she’s been through a lot and that’s horrible but as soon as she’s back everybody acts as if she’s the center of the universe. Her pain isn’t more important than the one of others”, you let out, sniffling as you could feel yourself falling back into that hole of fear and panic that made you rattled and got you to all worked up again. “Carol has gone through losing a child far more than once, Michonne lost Carl and Rick, and Judith and to grow up without them”, you said, hot tears streaming down your face as it crunched up in pain and your voice grew shakier with every breath,”I’ve seen my damn family being ripped apart all at once, and you had to watch when that goddamn cancer killed Lucille.” You could see Negan nodding, could see a single tear rolling down your face as you sniffled and breathed sharply in, trying to keep your voice up even though the lump in your throat kept on growing. “Nobody’s expecting her to forgive or forget but she doesn’t get to make decisions about you, not after she just fucked off for six years and just came back cause that other community got screwed over”, you said, trying to keep talking in between the shaky breaths that shook through you before your fear took hold of you once for all and you could feel it breaking out of you as the stinging pain made itself a home inside your head. “I’m trying to see things positive but I...I’m scared”, you breathed out, your face twisting in pain as you felt yourself choking up,”I’m so so fucking scared.” You gasped for air as you could feel the thick lump in your throat keep on pressing in on you, felt the skin under your eyes becoming sore from the tears while Negan moved in, stopping his movements over your back to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer. “I’m scared that she’ll try to make them turn on you again and hurt you, I’m scared that I she’ll try to kill-”,your voice broke off, stopped by the sobs that started to shake through you again ,”I’m so scared of losing you, I-“ You broke completely off at that point, only able to cry now and let it all out instead of saying anything more. Negan moved in to hold your shaking body closer, grasp our legs to swing them over his lap and bring you into his embrace. You could feel him shaking too, could feel his heavy breaths and the harsh falling and rising of his chest as he cradled you against his body. You buried your head into the curve of his neck, just for once allowing all the pain and fear to flow out of your body with the sobs that erupted through you. You clung onto him as if you’d risk to lose him if you’d let go, sniffling and crying until your head was buzzing while Negan tightened his grasp on you and pressed a soft kiss against your temple. “I won’t let it come that far”, he mumbled against your skin, his voice strained though he did his best to keep it up ,”I got no damn clue how our life’s gonna turn out but I’m a tough motherfucker, right? I won’t die. I even survived those skin freaks.” He let out a shaky chuckle, audibly trying to keep his shit together for you within these moments though you deep down knew that he’d break down too. Your sobs grew quieter again and turned back into sniffles as you held onto him, desperately trying to believe his words before you slowly moved back, just enough to look at him and see the tears that were also burning in his eyes. Sniffling, you moved your hands to cup his face, stroking your thumbs over his wetted cheeks and his stubble while his bleary eyes ran over you and his arms were still keeping you close.  A thick sigh left his lips as he lowered his glance for a moment, gulping thickly before he glimpsed back up at you and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know how to feel”, he mumbled, tears still filling his eyes up to the rim. “I feel so fucking odd...some guilt, I-”,he breathed, stopping as he shook his head and the first tears started to fall down his cheeks again,”I had so much time to think about the shit I did back then, how fucking wrong I saw things, I-...I know we’ve been through this when I hit rock bottom in that cell but...” He pressed his lips onto one another before they fell open with another shivering sigh and his teary eyes fell back on you,”There are still moments when I ask myself how you were even able to fall in love with me back then.” You could feel your heart breaking all over again as you looked at your husband, tearing up again as you stroked the tears softly off his cheeks and gulped thickly. “I already saw the man in you that you are right now”, you mumbled, sniffling as Negan’s brows knitted again and it looked like something hit him just in this moment. New tears started to roll down his cheeks as a small whimper fell from his lips and you leaned closer, sure to have him look at you. “You’re sweet, and you’re loving and protective and the world just screwed with you and made you believe that you couldn’t keep others alive without this shit”, you mumbled, brushing your thumbs again over his wetted cheeks,”But you did your best to get your head on straight.” “I just, I know what it’s like to grow up without a Dad and I-”, he mumbled with trembling lips,”I don’t know what to fuckin’ think or feel or-” “That’s okay”,you said as you could hear his voice break off,”You don’t need to put a finger on that.” Negan slowly nodded, lowering his glance for a moment as he let out a shivering breath and wrapped his arms tighter around you. “But there was no way for you to know”, you added, a feeling within you urging you to make sure that he knew that despite everything,”You didn’t deliberately kill a kid’s father. Fuck, you didn’t go for Rick that night because of Carl.” Negan’s glance was still lowered as you gulped and shifted slightly. “I know what happened was shit, I-”,you started, trying to just keep Negan from falling into that hole again that was threatening to eat him up ,”Regardless of what happened that night, you did everything in your power to show that you’re good at heart. You can’t make the past unhappen but you can change the present, and you have.” A sniffling fell from Negan’s lips as he glimpsed back up at you, yet another tear falling down his face as you leaned in closer to him. “You have”, you assured with another nod, leaning in to press a delicate kiss over his lips, allowing it to linger for a moment and let Negan melt against you before you backed just enough off to look at him and saw the doubt that was still filling his face. “I’m not sure if it’s enough, or if it matters-”, he broke off, his face scrunching up again as you let go of his face and instead wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. Just like it had happened with you before, it was breaking out of Negan now and you could feel your emotions overwhelming you all over again as you heard your husband’s sobs that broke your heart and made that stinging pain shoot through you once more. Holding onto each other you sat on the bed, just letting it all out. Just like the both of you actually needed to. During the past time it had nearly always been either one of you trying to be strong for the other as they broke down and now the both of you just held onto each other and allowed yourselves to feel your emotions hit you with all their force.  It hurt, it hurt like hell but deep down you both knew that you needed this to unburden you, to free yourselves at least from the pressure and pain that had been weighing down on you for too long. It didn’t know how long you sat there like that on the bed, for you long you held on to each other until the sobs and whimpers got silent and you were just cuddled up against one another.  Breathing deeply through you felt Negan cradling you against his body, pressing another kiss against your temple, still remaining quiet for a moment before he spoke up, his voice still strained. “Does that offer for a bath still stand?”, he asked, backing slightly away, just enough to look at you and move his hand up to wipe the last bit of remaining wetness of your cheeks,”I think we could use that.” Slowly, you nodded, taking only another moment before you moved your legs off his lap and stood up, groaning slightly as you needed to feel your body adjusting to standing again after remaining in nothing else but an embryo position for the last while. Negan moved up as well, stretching his long limbs before he grasped your hand and moved it up to place a kiss on its back, giving you another loving look before he lead you towards the bathroom.

Hot water quickly started to pelt into the bathtub and filled it up step by step, while Negan moved towards the cabinet by the sinks, to look for some bath oils or bombs before he looked up into the mirrors and let out a strained chuckle. “Fuck we both look puffed up like a baboon’s ass”, he mumbled, looking from the mirror back at you as you let out a small laugh, seeing your mirror image that looked just like you expected. Your eyes were red and puffy, already a little less swollen than they must have been back at the bed but still more than enough to know how long the both of you had sat there and let your emotions take themselves out on you. Negan let out a small groan as he crouched down to move through the stuff in the cabinet, pushing a couple bottles of shampoo to the side before he got a look at the bathing supplies and eventually pulled a bathbomb out that was a wild swirled mix of blue and purple. “This one’s with lavender”, he said, getting back on his feet as he held it up for you,”Think we could use some of that calming shit, huh?” You quickly nodded, very much agreeing with him on this. Your head was still buzzing, clearly exhausted by all the crying and you could need something as calming as the scent of lavender to soothe you a little. Moving back towards you Negan plopped the little ball into the water, quickly seeing it go out in all of its color variety as it spread through the water that kept on streaming into the tub. “Looks like unicorn puke”, Negan joked, nodding towards the lilac water and the bubbles the spread over its surface and got bigger and bigger with every passing moment. “Yeah, it does...doesn’t smell like it tho”, you mumbled with a small chuckle back, slowly freeing yourself from the shroud of exhaustion the while in the bedroom had put on you. Things obviously still weren’t the way you both wanted them, but you felt a little less bottled up and tense, and most importantly less burdened after giving your emotions the valve they needed. ”And it has surprise bubbles. That’s nice”, you added, nodding towards the bubbles that had by now taking in all of the surface while Negan nodded with a crooked grin and started to peel the clothes off his body. “C’mon let’s get outta that shit”, he grumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head and pushed his pants down his hips while you started to do the same, peeling yourself out of your clothes step by step until you could only feel the warm bathroom air covering your skin. Groaning, Negan crouched a little down and leaned over to shut the tap off and dip his hand into the bathwater, testing it before he looked with a small grin over his shoulder “Don’t wanna burn my dick.” “Yeah I can’t have that”, you teased back, bringing the grin on his face to widen a little and bring some warmth back into you after seeing him so devastated all evening long. “It’s good though, we can get in”, he mumbled before he carefully stepped into the water and let out a satisfied groan as soon as he lowered his body into the tub and stretched his hand out for you to join him. Quickly, you took it, moving in and feeling the warmth of the water surrounding your feet before you lowered yourself to sink in between Negan’s legs.  “This is nice”, you mumbled as the warm water and its soothing scent started to surround you and Negan moved in to gently pull you against his wet chest. His arms wrapped around you as he nuzzled his nose into the curve of your neck and breathed deeply out, cradling you softly while it got quiet again and a silence set in. You didn’t break it, didn’t fall back with him into your usual goofiness that you’d have in these moments but instead, just closed your eyes and enjoyed his closeness, his warmth and the hot water.  That was all that you needed right now, a break of everything that was currently happening around you and a relief of the ordeal you’d both put yourselves through this evening, and for once, it felt like you were truly able to focus and think about nothing else but this bath and the man who was holding you in his arms. You just remained like that with him, only feeling him scooping some water over your shoulders and arms from time to time or drawing small, lazy patterns over your skin with his fingers, though mostly, you just laid cuddled up to each other within the water’s warmth.  You enjoyed it, all of it, Negan’s touches, the soothing scent and the hotness of the water until it started to grow cold and you switched it for the warmth of the bed.  Held by Negan, with your back pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around you you found yourself laying underneath the sheets, feeling him nuzzling his nose against your neck while your fingers softly and lightly brushed over his arm, just as he liked it. You were still soothing one another, still trying to reassure one another that you’d figure things out along the way, step by step no matter what the world would throw at you, just like you had always done. With a sleepy sigh you felt Negan adjusting himself a little, pressing a delicate kiss against the side of your neck before he interrupted the caresses of your fingers and moved his arm up, just enough for his hand to gently grasp your face and make you look at him in the faint moon light that streamed into the room. “We got each other, always”, he mumbled as his thumb softly stroked over your cheek and his drowsy eyes softened as he glanced down at you,”No matter what happens. No matter who tries to fuck with us...we got each other.”

[paperstarwriters]

The arcana crew as beast-kin

Why? Because I wanna :P

General notes:

Everyone is based off of the card they’re associated with

Beast-kin tend to have magic that lets them look human (three forms; 1: anthropomorphic beast, 2: human with animal ears/wings and tails, and them as a normal human—I’ll be focusing on the animal aspects)

Just because they can do glamour magic doesn’t mean they can do other types of magic.

They still have their familiars, don’t worry.

If you wanna reference for the first form, just watch Beastars. The design is pretty similar (mainly thinking about the birds)

If you wanna reference for beast-kin in general check out the manga “Milady Just Wants to Relax” it’s what I’ve based the abilities off of and just beast-kin in general.

Asra

This sly fox :)

It’s probably because of my ties with anime but I imagine him like a multi-tailed fox

It’s purely so that you have more tails to cuddle and snuggle with.

You know how when foxes are in the snow they leap into the air then get their whole upper half stuck in the snow?

Well, when Asra hears something they want to catch, or they’re playing with Faust, they sometimes just... well....

It’s funny to see honestly.

Lowkey acts like a dog sometimes. They Loves the pats and chin scratches he can get and will whine until you give him more.

Sometimes you wake up to their tail(s) in your face. Good or bad, you decide.

In most folklore that have them, foxes aren’t exactly trusted, so often, Asra uses his glamour to make himself look like a human. However, when a customer runs unsavoury or maybe there’s just some mean brat that he wants to scare, his shadow still shows off his ears and tail(s)

Cuddles??? Cuddles!!!! Foxes are just so fluffy... Asra is no different. (In fact he might just be even fluffier)

Hate to delve a little into angst territory, but as a child since he was an orphan and all, Asra probably learned to basically act like a dog or a cat depending on the person to get more food, or to convince them that they’re a harmless beast-kin.

Nadia

Design wise, I love humanoid bird designs with their wings doubling as their arms and hands. Don’t ask me how this works logically right now we’re talking about crazy fantasy elements anyways, let me have this.

One thing I cannot get out of my mind is:

Nadia has her back to Lucio and he’s just talking and chattering nonsense. Then Lucio says something insanely stupid or offensive and whoever is talking to Lucio can see Nadia behind him just—

Whips her freaking head around 180°

It’s worse if she’s somewhere dark cause then you just see two red eyes coming into view as she slowly turns to glare at you.

Our queen is proud of her pretty talons, honestly probably spends a day sharpening them with Portia.

Goes out flying with Chandra at dusk if she has the time, and if you can fly (via spells, wings, a broomstick, etc.) you’re welcome to come along

Super accurate hearing. Honestly. It’s hard to hide an injury from Nadia even without her being an owl but she hears you Yelp in pain on the other side of the palace and she’s there in minutes.

Pretty problematic when she has headaches though :(

Preen feathers with her!! She’ll love having you card your fingers though her feathers making them less itchy. You’ll often help her preen after a bath, but honestly she’ll appreciate the sentiment anywhere but during an important meeting. It’s hard to concentrate when you’re providing her such wonderful affection.

Please don’t make owl jokes. She doesn’t like them. Sometimes she just avoids saying “who” so people don’t make that annoying joke. (It’s Natiqa’s favorite joke to make please spare Nadia the pain.)

“...and to whom will I be sending this?” “don’t you mean to “who” Dia?” *glare*

Julian

This is a happy raven ok? HAPPY. no birdie in a cage, ok?

The look we all know is probably his second form leaning to the first. Nadia’s would look somewhat similar

Crows & ravens are pretty dramatic birds. Reminds you of someone doesn’t it?

Idk if Edger Allan Poe even exists in this world, or any variant of it, but if it does... ooohhh if it does... this guy is totally gonna recite the poem in a dramatic flourish, and when he’s drunk you can sometimes find him chanting “ever more” same applies to any and all raven/crow themed media.

Screams. A lot. “Caw, caw b**ch” or “quoth the raven: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

Once convinced a bunch of birds to just go n take a dump on Lucio & his statue. He helped the servants clean when the work was dumped on them but they all agreed the bleat he made was hilarious(more on that later)

Shiny thing collector. Portia tried to get him to clean his stuff up but he has since bribed her out of it with a ball of yarn.

He and Portia make an odd pair of siblings, they’re still pretty much the same though. Crows are kinda just cats with wings.

“One day Illia, I’m probably just gonna eat you.”

*overly dramatic offended gasp*

All in good humor lol

Speaking of, their familiars are the same animal as they are!

So sometimes Julian scoops up Malak and says in a dramatic fashion (because however else would he say it) “I’ve found you my long lost brother! Oh how I’ve missed you!”

Portia does the same (more on that later)

Because his sister is a cat, Julian sometimes does a lot of cat-like things. (Case in point, he bleps. Tongue just kinda left out after yawning or something.)

Flies around with Malak often, like Nadia does, and sometimes carries Portia around with him. Will do the same for you if you want him to, sometimes if you don’t want him to as well. Expect to be grabbed from the ground and flown up into the sky at some point.

Bread. Boy loves his lobster claws but bread is a close second. “Aww yisss motha freaking bread crumbs”

Sometimes on a bad day, he just walks in dragging Pepi behind him who has her mouth latched on his tail

Portia

(If this were modern times) “you know, like, nya~!”

Look. Portia is so sweet to be around. But take that plus PURRING? And a soft as all frick FUR?

Honestly I think that sometimes when with Nadia has a bad headache, Portia purring is a great way to calm her down. You—you lucky MC, get to fall asleep to that.

She falls asleep on your lap and you are stuck there. Bound by a rule that transcends time and space. Her purring does little to aid the fact that YOU NEED TO PEE. The universe does not care of your internal tides, for your lover, who is also a cat, rests in your lap.

When she’s chasing down Julian for something stupid he often yells about being hunted. All in good fun!

“Mazelinka!!! Portia’s hunting me again!!!” “I wouldn’t be chasing you if you’d just clean your stuff!!!!”

Small boxes are her jam! Julian hates them, and like other birds doesn’t like closed spaces, but Portia loves em.

Good at squeezing into and out of tight places. Which is really helpful for sneaking around, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Swishy swishy tail.

Cast a little light spell for her to case down. She loves it, you love it, Pepi loves it— everyone wins! (Except for the furniture she crashes into)

Yes, she has picked up Pepi before and yelled very loudly for Julian to hear (often after he’s made the joke of his long lost brother Malak) “Oh Pepi, you’re my favorite sister!!!”

On a bad day, Malak may be found in Portia’s mouth. He’s completely unharmed if only a little ruffled, but it’s gotta be a pretty bad day to find her doing that.

If Camio is in her mouth it’s same business as always. She won’t kill hem either but if Mr. Sh**bird doesn’t shut up she’ll make him shut up. You don’t even know why he keeps coming back.

Not all cats like cuddling, but like Pepi, Portia LOVES it. So long as you’re the right person and not someone unpleasant.

Please don’t step on the tail.

As much as she doesn’t like baths she still does properly was herself. She just really doesn’t like it when her fur is all wet and clings to her body. Do you have a spell to dry her off quickly? Please use it. Save her the misery.

Muriel

pretty sure he’s even bigger as a bear. Like, it’s probably because of the added fur but— woah... Big. Bear.

Big arse bear with scars is SUPER intimidating buuuuut you saw him sitting in the sunlight with Inanna once, just napping in the sun. He looked so peaceful and so dang fluffy!!

He enjoys headpats and gets very flustered at belly rubs. He’s seen you do so to Inanna many times probably kinda wanting you to do the same to him though he would never willingly admit it.

When you two get closer expect to spend some time with his head in your lap. Pat his head rub his ears, Inanna may get jealous if you don’t also provide her attention

Just don’t let him fall asleep there, he’s gonna have a sore back later and you’re going to have numb legs.

Hunting, swimming, carrying you, this boy can do it all.

Unlike his usual(cannon) self, Muriel probably doesn’t carve any bear statures. The only one he’d have was probably a gift from Asra. Carves birds, bunnies, foxes, and wolves instead. Does NOT carve goats. Never have never will.

Again I hate to go int angst but Muriel probably wants to get his claws removed somehow. It’d hurt and it probably insanely unsafe, but they were used as weapons before and its one of the things on him that everyone is afraid of. If he could he’d probably try to change his teeth too.

Show him that claws aren’t something to be feared. They don’t have to be a weapon. They help him climb and hunt food and sometimes to even carve wood. Like humans and knives, his claws aren’t bad or inherently evil, and neither is he.

Giant. Teddy Bear. You will be getting hugs and falling asleep with a Giant Teddy Bear.

He probably keeps in his mostly human form though, because he stands out less that way and he looks a little less intimidating.

Short little bear tail on his butt. Plz don’t touch, he’s going to be blushing so hard if you do (let’s be honest, that’s all the more reason to do so)

In “Milady Just Wants to Relax” Beast-kin are feared as monsters and I don’t think it’d do Muriel any good to have to live with that kind of fear from everyone. However, when you come around un afraid and eager to provide head-pats, but patient enough to let him get comfortable with it, Muriel will probably start using less energy to try and glamour himself.

Sometimes he’s so caught up with you that when you go to the market together he forgets to cast a glamour. While some do get scared off most of the people who you buy from are only a little surprised and take things in stride. They still treat him like he’s human, and he’s forever grateful for that.

If I could write a beast-kin version of his route, the moment you and Muriel meet Morga is probably when you first realize he isn’t human. And it’s because Morga pointed it out.

“Why didn’t you fight? As a beast you’re stronger than them.”

He knows you’ve spent time with Asra but he probably assumed they kept it hidden from you most of the time.

Just love him please. Platonic or romantic doesn’t matter, just give him headpats and belly rubs and boop his nose. Keep him assured that you aren’t afraid of this giant teddy bear.

Lucio

We know of both first and second forms. They’re pretty much cannon, but just not a ghost.

Which means you finally get to pet the fluffy white fur.

This also means his horns can do an irritating amount of damage.

Also he’s so much more noisier now

*loud stupid goat noises*

It’s fun to make him bleat a lot. He tends to bleat when embarrassed. If you’re topping him expect a bleat every time you pin him to the wall.

Tries to butt heads with EVERYONE. Please stop him, Lucio is the only prey animal in the lineup!

Seriously, how has he survived this long?? Muriel is a bear! he could just.... chomp.

not that he would obviously, but I don’t think Asra would hesitate after what he’s done to you and his parents...

Portia too for that matter, if she realized that Lucio had forcefully given Julian the plague, Lucio would be forever running from a feral cat.

I know he’s probably skilled in fighting or whatever, enough to take down various fantastical beasts, but stiiiiiiilllll.....

Is it obvious I dislike Lucio?

Grouchy bias aside, Lucio is really good at climbing. Like I’m pretty sure he’s a sword fighter so just imagine him leaping onto ledges in order to get the high ground.

Still uses eyeliner. I don’t know how since he has fur sometimes, but yeah, he still somehow uses eyeliner.

Honestly he probably keeps in a mostly human form or just entirely human form for that reason exactly. It’s just easier to look good when he’s more human.

But if you wanna pet his luxurious fur then he is all but willing to take on his goat form. In fact, if he turns into his goat form around you (which is always) he pretty much expects you to brush his fur or just run your hands through his fur. He will whine very loudly if you don’t.

Spare everyone else’s ears (especially Nadia’s) and just give him the head pats.

[creepy-spooghetti]

A Hapless Endearment [Creepypasta x F. Reader]

Chapter 11 - Anonymous

_____

Jack opens the door, stepping aside to allow a pale girl with medium-length blonde hair into the small house. She's clad in slightly ripped jeans, a pair of sneakers, a maroon tank top, and a black jacket. In her hand is a plastic bag that looks to have been taken from some kind of store, and what resides inside isn't completely clear, although judging by the shape of the objects Y\n assumes it to be shoes. Her violet-grey eyes land on Jack, then shift over to Y\n, who remains leaning against the wall and watching the scene warily in front of her. 

She nods in silent greeting before walking through the door frame and into the living room, being followed by yet another girl, this one much younger and, instead of gripping a bag, a brown, old-looking teddy bear is tightly clutched within her arms. Her eyes are a bright, piercing shade of green, her chocolate-brown hair cascades over her shoulders and down her back. She wears a multi-colored hoodie splashed with shades of pink, lemony yellow, blue, and purple, and the hood itself has cotton cat ears attached to the hem. She has on a pair of black leggings, a pink mini-skirt, and rose-colored tennis shoes.

Faint freckles are scattered along her cheeks and across the bridge of her nose, and her gaze travels from the floor and up to Y\n as she tilts her head shyly. There's a kid here, too? Y\n furrows her eyebrows and glances between the three people now standing ahead of her, two of which she's never seen before in her life. She assumes the teen to be who Jack called 'Wisteria', but who the younger one is she hasn't a clue. She never heard a kid being mentioned, so the news is a bit surprising to her. 

That's when she takes notice of the blood slowly trickling down the side of her head, hidden previously by her long locks of hair, and dripping down onto her hoodie, forever staining the brightly-shaded piece of clothing with quite a large blotch of crimson. The child doesn't appear to be in any pain, but how would that be? If she had just been bashed in the head by some blunt object, how would she be able to ignore it? Come to think of it, how would she even be standing right now? Shouldn't she be knocked cold? 

Y\n's heart rate increases from concern, and she's tempted to comment on it or even lunge forward, pull the girl toward her and get her away from the two teens standing in front of the doorway. They don't seem even remotely worried about it, either because they're the ones that gave her the damage, or they just haven't taken notice of it yet. "What is Sally doing here?" Jack questions, shoving his hands into the pocket of his black hoodie and taking up a casual-looking posture. He doesn't sound mad, just curious, and perhaps a little surprised. 

Wisteria shrugs, wrapping a hand around her hair and slinging it across one of her shoulders. "Because she wanted to come."

"You couldn't have just left her with Ben or somethin'?" She shoots him a mildly annoyed expression. 

"Are you stupid? That'd be a terrible idea." 

"You've done it before."

"And that's a mistake I will never make, again." After a moment, Jack murmurs a half-hearted "okay, fine" in agreement before shutting the door and propping his back against its solid wooden surface. Wisteria briefly motions toward Y\n with a raised eyebrow. "This the girl?"

"I have a name," Y\n says, narrowing her eyes at the blonde and unable to stop glimpsing down at who she presumes is 'Sally', stomach churning with unanswered questions. She gets an impatient glance in return.

"I don't care," she responds, crossing her arms. Sensing a brewing disagreement, Jack interjects before it can go any farther. 

"Yes, this is Y\n. And Y\n, this is Wisteria and Sally." The young brunette takes a small step forward, bringing her hand up and giving Y\n a timid wave as she clings tighter onto her stuffed animal. 

"Hi..." Her voice is soft, so soft in fact that Y\n has to strain her ears just to hear and understand the words that leave her mouth. She offers the ghost of a smile in response, mostly one of concern for Sally's well-being. Who did that to her? Surely she didn't hit herself straight in the head, and even if she had, then she couldn't have made that big of an injury. She's just a kid, after all, no older than eight or nine, there's no way she could manage that kind of strength. Then again, there do seem to be some pretty...unusual people here. Is she one of them?

Wisteria stares her down as if studying her appearance, waiting for her to do something, silently judging her. Wisteria seems to be the only normal-looking person that Y\n has come across so far, save for the odd color of her eyes, though that can easily be overlooked. She'll still use it against her if she has to, though. 

Y\n shuffles on her feet uncomfortably, meeting the slightly taller girl's gaze and refusing to break contact for fear of looking weak. She is not weak, and she doesn't want anyone to think that she is. Jack runs his fingers through his hair, standing to his full height once more, and steps toward Wisteria. "So, you brought the stuff?"

Without looking away from Y\n, she nods. "Yeah, I did." A barely-noticeable, sly smirk etches itself across her face as she uncrosses her arms. "Here. Catch." Before Y\n can even blink, the bag of shoes is being launched at her head, and she only just catches it before it can hit her in the eye and temporarily blind her. Huffing indignantly, she holds the plastic bag by its handle and places a hand on her hip, glaring at Wisteria and earning a haughty grin in return. 

"Thanks." Her voice comes out in a sarcastic drawl, contemplating on throwing the bag back at her and giving her a taste of her own medicine. Instead, she focuses her attention on the child standing right beside Wisteria, then down to the large gash on her temple, unable to quell the curiosity about the unexplained wound and the worry for her safety. "What happened to your head, Sally?" She tries to keep her tone mild as she bends down a bit so she'll be closer to her height, as to not further intimidate her. Sally looks down nervously, stepping to the side until she's hidden partially by the taller girl's legs and the lower part of her torso. 

"I...It's, uh..."

"None of your business," Wisteria snaps, suddenly becoming defensive and putting an arm in front of Sally protectively. Y\n takes a stride forward, boldness swarming inside of her chest. 

"I'm not gonna stand aside and let some kid bleed to death while you're not doing anything about it."

"Alright, alright." Jack puts his arms out in front of him and steps between the two girls, facing Y\n with a peaceful tone to his voice. "Y\n, Sally isn't in danger."

Her eyes widen and she points at the green-eyed child mostly obscured by the larger frames of both Jack and Wisteria in exasperation. "Do you not see her head? Somebody clearly split it wide open!"

"Yes. Yes, they did." She presses her lips together and scowls at Jack, not understanding why he's acting so mellow about an eight-year-old kid being injured. "But that was a long time ago."

"So then why is it still bleeding?"

"Because it doesn't stop. It can't." Raising a skeptical and, distinctly confused eyebrow, she stares at him, waiting for him to continue the rest of his explanation. "Look... she isn't normal, not by a long shot. Not anymore."

"She doesn't need to know all of this, Jack," the blonde spits from behind him, though he only turns his head back to face her for a moment to say his reply. 

"If she's going to be staying here, yes, she does." He shifts his attention back onto Y\n, ignoring the scoff of protest that erupts from behind him. "And what I mean by that, is... she's not human anymore. She's a ghost."

A ghost? He's talking about ghosts, of all things now? How crazy is everyone? She's never been a strong believer in ghosts or hauntings or anything like that but considering everything that's been happening to her as of late, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to start believing that things like ghosts do exist. But to be a ghost...you'd have to die. Does this mean that Sally died? Come to think of it, that wound does look pretty fatal... 

"But ghosts aren't real," she says quietly, mainly to reassure herself that things like what he says are only in movies, and books, and TV shows. But are they, really? There has to be some reason that Sally isn't hurt by that exceedingly large gash in her head. Could that be why? Because she's already dead?

"They are, Y\n. That's why she isn't in pain." He points down toward Sally. "Because she's not alive, anymore." Y\n stares at Jack incredulously, then over to Sally, trying to process the information in her head. A dead person walking around? Like a zombie? Except, one major difference between Sally and a zombie is that Sally isn't currently trying to eat her alive. At least she's a friendly ghost, right? 

She blinks, finding herself not completely in-touch with her surroundings. Next Jack will be telling her that there are aliens from another world about to invade Earth and that they need some time-traveling machine to stop them. It wouldn't be a big surprise, at least not at this point. Okay, so ghosts are apparently real. Yeah, that makes sense.

Though she really can't understand how such an idea works, she figures that dwelling on the matter won't do her any good. Just go with it, right? It'll make it easier on herself if she doesn't think about how bizarre this whole situation is. She just has to keep her mind on more plausible explanations, but like what? She hasn't any other theories for everything that's been taking place lately, what more does she have to go off of? The best idea she has is that this is all one massive hallucination, but even that's a far stretch of her imagination at this point. It all feels too real to be imagined. 

Wisteria scoffs, rolling her vivid periwinkle eyes and drawing Y\n out of her hysteria of scrambled thoughts. "See? She can't even handle the simple truth." She furrows her eyebrows at the shorter girl still standing on the other side of Jack. "I still think we just shoulda killed her—"

"Wisteria." Jack cuts her off, voice austere as he shifts around to better face her. "That wouldn't have been a smart move."

"And why not?" She places a hand on her hip audaciously. "She wouldn't be our problem." He sighs in reply, shaking his head in disagreement. 

"You know why she's here. It's better for all of us this way." Y\n stares at the two with a look of mild disbelief—like, hello? They do know that she's still right here in front of them, yeah? She can tell that Jack is trying to at least be subtle, but Wisteria on the other hand just acts like she doesn't care at all. Which is likely the case. "Y\n," He looks back at her, "are you ready to go?"

"I don't want to go." She eyes Wisteria, backing up farther into the wall behind her. "I'm not living in some stranger's house." At least she's been acquainted with Jack prior to all of this, and she's been talking with him for the past little while so she feels the most comfortable with him. What if this 'Brian' person is as obnoxious and appalling as Jeff? Or even more so? She really doesn't want to deal with someone like that, much less stay with them. 

"Brian isn't going to hurt you, he's one of the most mature people here." Jack tries to sound reassuring for the most part, though it hardly works. "And Wisteria won't do anything either, she's just taking you to him." Y\n crosses her arms in protest, choosing not to verbally respond and instead send a stink eye his way. 

"Don't be afraid..." A soft voice erupts from below her, and she glances down to meet the green eyes of Sally, who had somehow walked closer to her without Y\n even realizing it. Her facial expression melts into one of compassion as she once again looks at the open gash still bleeding on her head. If the little girl trusts them, shouldn't she? 

Absolutely not. To be fair though, if Sally really is a ghost then they couldn't hurt her, anyway, so she wouldn't have a reason to fear them. Can she really trust her when she says not to be afraid? She could be in on it all, for crying out loud. Although, maybe she should be a bit more compliant just to see what happens. Other than kidnapping her among some other, more mild things, they haven't hurt her. Jack is the only one that's really even communicated with her, and as much as she hates to admit it, he's been nothing but patient with her since she woke up here. He didn't even seem to hold anything against her at the fact that she kneed him in a place no boy wants to be hit.

Plus, he provided her with an explanation for everything that's been happening. No one else had done that. She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and releases an inaudible sigh from in-between her lips before turning and strolling down the hallway, stopping once she gets into the room she originally woke up inside. The broken glass that had been previously in front of the doorway seems to have been cleaned up, and she's more than grateful. It would suck stepping on shattered glass, it's a wonder she was able to avoid it to start with. Sitting on the bed, she takes the pair of shoes and a couple of old-looking socks out of the plastic store-made bag before beginning to slide them over her feet. 

She tries not to bump her ankle, though her attempts prove futile when the top of the sock constricts around it, making a bolt of pain shoot up her leg. "I hate that stupid dog..." she mutters, remembering the very recent sensation of a canine's teeth clamping down on her ankle and refusing to let go until his owner told him to. She rubs at the bandages, trying to give the inflicted area some kind of relief before pulling the shoes up and slipping them, too, on her feet. She ties the laces, inwardly rejoicing at the fact that the shoes aren't high-tops, otherwise, it would bring her even more pain. 

From the living room, Y\n can hear faint talking from who she assumes to be Jack and Wisteria, one of the voices slightly hostile and the other calm and collected. Well, what now? Go with Wisteria, she guesses, although she really doesn't have another choice. It isn't like she can run away in the state that her foot is in—she would surely be caught before she made it ten feet if even that. Jack said that Brian, whoever that is, won't harm her. Is he telling the truth? Who even knows. He's lied before, how can she be so sure that he isn't doing it again?

She shifts her gaze up from her shoes to the brunette girl standing in the doorway, looking a little timid though offering an affable smile nonetheless. She bounces on her heels, teddy clutched to her chest, and speaks. "Hi..."

Y\n tilts her head curiously, sitting properly once again and staring at the young girl. "Hi..." Sally slowly makes her way inside the room, face displaying innocence and a friendly desire. 

"There aren't many girls here," she says, eyes averting down to the floor shyly. "You'll be the fourth, if you stay..." 

"Fourth, huh?" She folds her hands into her lap tentatively. "Who's the third?"

"That's Zero...but she isn't here right now. So it's just me, and Sissy...and you." That comment makes her eyebrows furrow in mild puzzlement.

"Wait, Wisteria's your...your sister?" Y\n can't see any resemblance between the two, not even their eyes are the same color. And their personalities definitely seem different, with one being brash and the other being quiet and timid. Then again, having just met them she can't be too harsh of a judge but first impressions are everything. Sally parts her lips a moment as if she's about to say something only to cut herself off. She twirls a strand of long, brown hair around her finger as she collects her thoughts while Y\n waits patiently. 

"Well...no. Not really, but...she treats me like her little sister."

Makes sense, she thinks, She did seem pretty protective of her. 

"You're staying, right?" She steps a little closer, biting her lip hopefully. "Bad people are after you. They're after all of us. This is the only place we're safe."

"Sally...I have a family to get back to. They need me. I...I don't think I can stay here, not—not for long, anyway." Her facial expression falls, and she dips her head forward in what Y\n recognizes as discouragement. 

"Oh..."

"You can...come with me, if you want?" She can tell that Sally seems perfectly happy here, but it doesn't quite sit well with her that she's still in a place with multiple people that could have, and likely did, do very bad and illegal things before. "My grandparents would be happy to give you a place to stay."

Sally flashes her a look of mild disbelief, green eyes widening slightly before she shakes her head. "I'm not leaving. This is my home."

"Are you sure?" She nods in response. 

"And...and I don't think you should leave, either. I think you'd like it here if you gave it a chance."

"Sally...I don't belong here." Her voice lowers as she speaks, looking down and into the young girl's wide eyes. "I have a family back home, important people that I need to go back to."

"We all had a family at some point." She lowers her gaze to the floor, her tone becoming sheepish. "But...that was a long time ago." Y\n tilts her head. She knew that the people living here had to have some kind of backstories, though she never gave it much thought. Just how tragic is everyone that lives here? What happened to them to turn them into these...sadistic-looking things that likely have a natural lust for blood? "And now all we have is each other. We're our own family."

Not sure what to say, Y\n shifts a little on the edge of the bed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and biting the inside of her cheek. 

"The monster wants something from all of us. It wants you, too." She nibbles at her bottom lip. "If you stayed with us, you'd be safe. It can't get you here." Taking a small step forward, she avoids eye-contact shyly and squeezes the stuffed bear tighter to her chest. "And you could be part of our family."

Y\n parts her lips to respond, though before she gets a chance, Wisteria peeks her head through the door, eyes landing on Sally then over to the girl still sat on the bed currently conversing with her. She meets her mild glare, expression hardening at the intense look being thrown her way. "Sally, c'mon. We're leaving." 

She glances behind toward the blonde standing in the doorframe, then back at Y\n, her face lighting up slightly as a friendly smile spreads across her cheeks. "Yeah! You're gonna meet Brian. Don't worry—he isn't so crabby once you get to know him."

"Yes, he is," Wisteria says, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. Sally shakes her head, taking Y\n's hand somewhat hesitantly and beginning to drag her toward the door. Y\n complies reluctantly, walking slowly behind the small-framed brunette. 

"Not to me! He's only like that to you cause you're annoying." She scoffs and turns, disappearing from sight and heading outside. Sally glimpses up at Y\n as they begin to stride down the hallway. "He's nice, don't worry. He's just wary around new people."

Sounds like this 'Brian' dude isn't going to be too easy to get along with. Not that she's intending to try and 'get along' with anyone here, though it would be in her best interest to not make the people residing in this area hate her. As far as she's heard, they're not aiming to cause her any harm, but better safe than sorry, right? The last thing she'd want is to make one of them mad, especially the one with a smile carved in his face and an intimidating knife in the pocket of his hoodie. 

They soon step into the living room, Sally momentarily releasing her hold on Y\n's hand as she swiftly catches up with Wisteria, who is walking off the porch and glancing around, as if checking the surroundings for possible dangers. Y\n slows her pace when she gets in front of Jack, meeting his oozing, soulless pits attentively. "There are no more dogs, right?"

He curtly shakes his head. "Brian isn't big on dogs. Smile's the only one here." He shoves his hands into his pockets, noticing the look of disdain on her features and attempting to bring her a sense of reassurance. "I'll be over in a couple of days to check on your bite. Until then, medicate and dress it each night before you go to bed. He should have plenty of resources to work with."

"That's comforting," she mutters, briefly averting her eyes down to her bandaged ankle, partly hidden by her shoes but still in clear sight if one were to look closely enough. 

"I know you don't want to be here. I get it. But if you want your grandparents to be safe, you'll have to stay put, or get out and get them killed and possibly yourself, too." His voice has a solemn sound to it, his deep tone contributing to the daunting factor.

"Y\n, come one!" Sally calls from outside, drawing Y\n's attention and making her release a defeated huff. 

"I'll see you, I guess," she says quietly, gaze falling to the ground before following the two girls, Sally taking hold of her hand once again when she steps onto the ground. The very same ground that she had run across just an hour prior in a rushed attempt to escape, and could have succeeded had it not been for Jeff and his stupid dog. Merely thinking about the series of unfortunate events, she's unable to stop from glancing down at the bandaged area in which Smile chomped down upon in order to catch and bring her back here, where exactly 'here' is, she still hasn't figured out. In the middle of a forest, obviously, but in the middle of what forest? Where is she at? What state, what area is she in?

Wisteria takes a sharp turn left, beginning to stroll in-between the tall trees, some skinny and some quite large, and Sally follows suit, dragging behind a nervous and mildly resistant Y\n by her hand. After a moment, she hears a soft click from the house, signifying that Jack closed the door and is likely in the process of forgetting about her and her miserable situation. 

Figures. "So...do you not like dogs?" The question takes Y\n a little off-guard, and she meets the curious eyes of the curly-haired girl walking in front of her, still clinging to her hand gently.

"Um...well, I never really minded them, but...that was before one of them John Cena'd me earlier so now, I'm not so sure." She shrugs, and Sally grows a knowing look on her face. 

"Are you talking about Smile?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm talking about Smile." She inwardly winces as her left foot lands inside of a shallow hole, stumbling slightly and having to take a moment to gather her bearings. She hopes that they don't have to walk too much farther before they come upon Brian's house, not that she's looking forward to meeting another freak, but because if she has to stand on her leg all day then it's going to be throbbing very badly. 

"Smile's usually a really sweet dog. He may just not like you."

"Yeah, cause his owner is a huge jerk."

"You mean Jeff? Yeah, he's kinda mean." 

What a shocker. 

"A couple days ago he replaced the sugar with salt and it tasted terrible on my Rice Krispies." She makes a moderately disgusted face, scrunching up her nose and reliving the memory. Y\n furrows her eyebrows.

"Did he?"

"Yeah. Wisteria made him leave and threw my Barbie doll at his head..." The image of Jeff having some kid's Barbie being yeeted at his face and hitting him in the eye or some other important area almost has her smiling bitterly, eyes shifting down to her ankle once more and reminding her how much pain he just recently caused her, unnecessarily. 

"What was...Jeff, doing at your house?" 

"He was over to return something that he borrowed before," Wisteria suddenly speaks from ahead of them, not looking back and continuing to walk through the expansion of woods. "There's no way I'd allow him to come otherwise. And for the record, that Barbie doll was a piece of trash anyway. I was just putting it in the garbage where it belonged."

Y\n snorts quietly at that comment, not expecting the sudden insult toward someone who isn't even currently present though definitely not disagreeing. Through her brief encounter with the blue-eyed male, he did not seem like a favorable person by any standards, and as much as she'd hate to admit it, he is frightening and she wouldn't want to cross him. He's a big dude and there's no way she'd stand a chance against him, especially not with her leg the way it is.

"Well...we're here." Y\n looks up and sees yet another house, this one also shrouded with plants and vines likely to obscure its appearance from anyone who may stumble across it, assuming they actually didn't get caught by the psychopaths that live here and made it out alive, oblivious to their existence. It isn't very big, the paint is chipped and faded, and there's a barbed-wire fence surrounding the outside of it. 

Sally grins up at Y\n excitedly. "Welcome to Brian's house!"

[littleoddwriter]

Panic | Dan Torrance x Gender Neutral!Reader

Another vent fic ‘cause I needed it. This describes sth that happens to me on an almost regular basis, often multiple times a day or night. Idk what to call it, really. It doesn’t correspond with any symptoms of actual panic attacks (which I also have and they are wholly different), it’s not night terrors, it’s probably not a psychotic episode either. I honestly don’t know. Every therapist and doctor pretty much ignores it when I talk about it. They never corrected me in tiltling it a panic attack, but I believe it’s because they don’t know what else to call it. Anyway. I woke up this morning and kept thinking about this. Then I wrote some stuff and posted it on my WhatsApp story, making myself cry, lol. So, here we are. (Also??? My sister shared a room with me all my life, but moved out in April. Today, she told me that, especially at night, I would scream these words, like “No”, “I don’t want to”, “You won’t get me”, etc. and I legitimately don’t remember doing that, ever? Wild shit. Cooperated it in the fic, tho, because uhhhh).

summary; you experience “a fit of panic” for the lack of a better word. Dan helps you with the aftermath. Also: Love confessions. 

notes; TW // Death Anxiety, panic attack, ig, self-harm (pulling on hair, punching oneself); Gender Neutral!Reader (can therefore be read and enjoyed by anyone!), love confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, ig. 

Darkness. Forgotten. Meaningless. Pointless. "No! Please, no! Don't! I don't want to!" You shouted. You shot up. Whimpering, you pulled on your hair, making your scalp burn with it, trying to make it all stop. The images forced their way into your mind's eye all over again. Panic settled into your bones. You screamed. High-pitched. Full of terror. You tried to run. You scrambled out of bed and ran into the next corner of the bedroom, screaming, whimpering, pulling on your hair, punching yourself repeatedly. Y/N! It's okay, you're okay. You startled. Ripped out of this haze. Dan's voice in your head. You were trembling, shaking all over, breathing so heavily as if you had just run a marathon. You whined. Tears welled up and threatened to spill. Distantly, you noticed Dan coming closer to you, your teddy bear in one hand. He gently pressed your stuffed bear into your hands. You automatically grasped onto it so tightly, fearing you might tear it apart by accident. You lifted it to your face and pressed it into its furry tummy. It restricted your breathing, but you didn't care. A few tears found their way out of your eyes, wetting your teddy's fur. You were still whimpering and shaking. You felt weak and exhausted. Broken.    Hesitantly, Dan put a hand on your trembling shoulder. You tensed, but leaned into his touch after realising that it was his hand.    You're okay, baby. Can we lie back down? Dan's voice resounded in your head again. Lowering the bear from your face, you nodded, avoiding his eyes. He rested his hand on your shoulder, guiding you back to bed. Your blanket was on the floor, tangled up into a fluffy mess. Dan picked it up as you sat down on the edge of the bed. Kneading your teddy bear rhythmically, you tried to slow down your breathing and will down the tears that still tried to make their way out of your eyes.    The sheer panic had stopped by now; you were slowly coming back to reality. What was left was guilt, anxiety, shame. You could feel the warmth that Dan was radiating on your back, where he was close to you. He wasn't touching you anymore. It made you feel like he didn't want to, even though you knew that wasn't it. You couldn't help feeling anxious about him leaving, though. You were so broken beyond repair. He had his own problems. You would only add onto them anyway. "I'm sorry," you whimpered brokenly. "Don't. It's alright, you're okay. Can you lie down?" He replied softly. You nodded and lied down next to him, as he shuffled back a little to make space for you. "Can I touch you?" He whispered, after he spread the blanket over the both of you. "Yeah," you said, nodding. You were lying on your back. So he shifted onto his side, closer to you, and wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his chin close to the top of your head and intertwined your legs with his own. You held your teddy bear close to your chest, both of your hands intertwined on top of it. "Do you want to tell me what happened? You don't have to if you don't want to," he asked, whispering it. He was so gentle with you. "I'm not really sure. Uh, I- I've had this since I was nine years old. It occurs at night, during the day, whenever, really. It's because... It's because of my fear of death. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I- I knew it would happen eventually, I'm sorry," you explained, rushing through it towards the end. The two of you had started dating a few months ago, sleeping over at each other's homes more frequently as time was passing. You cursed yourself for not having told him beforehand.    "Ssh, no, it's okay. It's alright, yeah? I understand," he shushed you, kissing the top of your head gently. "Is there anything I can do for you? Now? Whenever this might happen?" You shook your head. "I don't know. What you did was already perfect, I guess," you chuckled brokenly. "It's just difficult. I don't know what to do about it. I don't even know what to call it. We've always called it a panic attack, but it's not that. I know what panic attacks are like. It's not night terror because it happens at any given time, just mostly during the night. I- I just don't know. I'm sorry. B-But what you did was great. Giving me my little bear and stuff. Thank you." "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you with this, take it away from you. Anything. Telling you that we don't end won't help, though, will it?" "No, all it would do is lead to another episode or whatever." "Okay." He sighed, nuzzling your hair, squeezing you. "I've got you, baby. I promise," he whispered. "Thank you." You turned your head, looking at his chest. Some of his chest hair peaked out of the shirt's collar. You lifted one of your hands and stroked over it. He chuckled above you. "I love you, y/n. This is probably not the best time to say it, but I do," he said.    Your heart was pounding for a wholly different reason than before.    "I love you, too, Dan. So much." Smiling, he leaned back a little, shifting to be face to face with you. Then he pressed a gentle kiss on your lips. Whatever had happened those few minutes before no longer mattered.

[wordsandshawn]

The Platonic Series ~ The Sleepover 

This one’s a long one. Almost 7k of protective!Shawn with a bit of bio-dad conflict all surrounding and following Ella’s first sleepover with her dad. 

2026 

A few months ago, Stephen called you out of the blue, wanting to talk. You had never intentionally kept him away from Ella. He mostly did that all on his own for the first eight years of her life. Every so often, you’d get a text from him, checking in and asking how you both were, but he never even asked to see her in person, only asking for pictures or wanting to know if you needed anything. You sent him the pictures and never asked for anything from him, and it always ended there, until this time.

At first, you were wary of his intentions, but he explained that he and his long-term girlfriend had moved in together and he was finally in a good place, so he really wanted to be in Ella’s life. You had always promised yourself that you wouldn’t be the reason your daughter didn’t know her dad, and you would never stand in the way of them having a relationship. If her dad was dangerous or involved in illegal things, that would have been a completely different story, but to your knowledge, Stephen was just not ready to be a dad when you got pregnant at 20. It doesn’t excuse his behavior or lack of involvement, but now that he’s older and says he wants to change, you’re willing to give him a chance because your daughter deserves to know her dad and not keep wondering about who he is and what he’s like.

When you told Ella that her dad called, she was hesitant at first, understandably so. You left the decision completely up to her, explaining what he told you and how he requested to see her. You made sure she understood that she got to decide if she wanted to see him again and it was up to her and what she wants. After thinking on it for a day or so, she decided she wanted to see him. You arranged for Stephen to come over to your place for the first meeting, that way they could get to know each other where Ella was comfortable, and you could be nearby. The meeting went well, and Stephen was better with Ella than you expected. Back in college, Stephen didn’t know anything about kids, but you’re guessing he had some practice with his girlfriend’s kids, and as a result, he was able to connect with Ella right away.

After that first meeting, you let Ella know that she could decide if she wanted to keep seeing her dad, and she decided that she did, so you and Stephen again arranged for him to come over. To your complete surprise, Stephen continued to show up when he said he would, which helped you to have some faith that he was really serious about seeing Ella this time.

After a few months of visits, things appeared to be going well. Ella and Stephen were slowly beginning to build a relationship. He’s been picking her up every Saturday and taking her out to do things for a few hours. A couple of weeks ago, Ella asked you if she could sleep over at Stephens one night. She had met his girlfriend and her children, and she wanted to spend the night. You talked it over with Stephen and decided it was time, and that it was worth a try if it was something Ella wanted to do.

All of that has led up to tonight, You dropped Ella off at her dads less than an hour ago for her first sleepover. The feeling you felt when you dropped off Ella was different than any feeling you’ve ever expierienced. It’s a mix between uneasiness and fear that things may be changing. She’s been all yours for the past 8 years and you never felt like you had to share her with anyone, except maybe Shawn, but it never felt like sharing her. Now it does, and it’s weird.

You’re used to spending nights without Ella. She has slept over at Shawn’s at least once a week since she was really little. Unless he was on tour or traveling, the sleepovers have been constant. A part of you knows that it shouldn’t be any different this time, but you can’t help but feel like this time is way different. You don’t want to be an overprotective parent, and historically, you haven’t been, but you still feel nervous and worried knowing that its her first sleepover with her dad.

At Shawn’s, you know she has her own bedroom and she has her whole set of toys there. She’s been sleeping over there for as long as she can remember and she’s as comfortable there as she is at your house. Packing for a sleepover at Shawn’s consists of throwing her teddy bear and iPad in a bag and that’s about it. She has her toothbrush and books and bedding and clothes and everything she could possibly need. Packing for her dad’s made you worried that she wouldn’t have something she needed, but you reminded both her and yourself that she could call you using her iPad if she needed something and you could bring it to her. Her dad lives about thirty minutes away, which is nothing to you if she needed something.

You had considered making plans for tonight, knowing that Ella would be with her dad and it’s a Friday night, but you decided to stay in instead because you wanted to be available just in case Ella calls or needs anything. An hour after you get home, your phone starts ringing, a facetime call from Ella. You answer immediately. “Hello?”

“Mom, I want to come home.” Ella’s voice comes through the phone and seeing her look sad nearly breaks your heart.

“Hold on,” You respond, unconsciously sitting up straighter and looking closely at her face through the screen. “What’s wrong?”

“Kaylee is being mean and I don’t want to be here anymore, and I want to come home with you.” She responds all in one breath.

Kaylee is Stephen’s girlfriend’s daughter and you know that she and Ella have had a bit of a love/hate relationship since they first met. They’re less than a year apart in age, so it’s understandable that they might fight sometimes.

Even though a part of you wants to just go and pick her up right now, most of you realizes that you need to let her sort this out herself with her father and also let her know you won’t just pick her up from a sleepover she begged to go to just because she’s not getting along with Kaylee.

“Did you talk to Stephen about it?” You question.

“No, I want to come home.” She responds.

“Ella,” You respond calmly, “If you’re not getting along with Kaylee, you know you need to talk to her and sort it out, or if that’s not working then talk to Stephen about it. I can pick you up, you know that. But remember we talked about this sleepover.”

A few weeks ago, when Ella first brought up the idea of a sleepover, you and Ella had a long talk about it and whether or not she was ready for it, and you’ve talked about it several times since. She insisted she was ready and she was so adament, you had finally given in.

She sighs loudly, “Okay, I’ll talk to Stephen.” She mumbles, and you can see her pouting becuase you know that isn’t what she wanted to hear from you.

“Talk to him, and tell him to call me, okay?” You tell her. The momma bear part of you needs to know that she’s okay. You need to talk to Stephen to make sure that he’s handling the situation and making sure Ella is okay.

“Okay.”

“I love you, Ella.”

“Love you too, Mom. Bye.”

“Bye baby.” You respond and hang up the phone before staring at it for a few seconds. You wait ten minutes, which feels like an eternity, and finally Stephen is calling you.

When you answer, he explains that it was a small argument between the two girls, regular kid stuff, and that he’s handling it. You remind him to let her call you if it continues and she genuinely doesn’t want to stay, and he agrees. After he reassures you again that she’s fine and he won’t let anything bad happen to her, you finally hang up, feeling conflicted about what to do.

No sooner than you’ve hung up the phone from you conversation with Stephen, your phone is buzzing with Shawn’s name on the screen. You’re confused that he’s calling because you know that he and Katie are out with her sister and brother-in-law tonight since they happen to be in town for the weekend.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Y/n, where are you?” Shawn questions sounding very intense and undexpectedly demanding.

“I’m at home?” You respond almost like it’s more of a question than an answer.

“I’m going to pick up Ella.” He replies.

“Why? Aren’t you supposed to be having dinner with Katie’s sister tonight?”

“Yeah, we were, but Ella called.” He responds. “She wants to be picked up so I’m going to pick her up.”

“No, Shawn, go back to your dinner. I just talked to Stephen. She doesn’t need to be picked up. She shouldn’t have even called you.”

“She doesn’t want to be there with him, with them, and she called me and she wants to be picked up.” He says as though its that simple. You’re not sure what Ella said to him, but you can tell he’s very set on this decision he made.

“Shawn, I talked to her and I talked to Stephen. She just had an argument with Kaylee, but she needs to sort it out. You can’t just go pick her up.”

“Y/n, you’re leaving her with a complete stranger and she calls and you tell her you won’t pick her up so she called me so I am going to pick her up.” From the tone of Shawn’s voice, you can tell he’s clearly upset by all of this.

“Is that what she told you? I didn’t say that. Shawn, he’s not a complete stranger, he’s her father. Go back to your dinner. I’m going to call Ella right now to talk to her again, and if she needs to be picked up, I’ll go and pick her up.”

“If she tells you she wants to come home, you’ll pick her up?” Shawn presses, and you know he won’t give up unless you tell him what he wants to hear.

“Yes, Shawn. I’ll pick her up if she really wants to come home.”

“Okay, I’ll call you later.” He responds.

“Go back to your dinner and tell Katie I’m sorry.” You tell him before hanging up.

When you call Ella back, you talk to her for a few minutes, and she tells you that she still wants to come home, so you go to pick her up. Even though you did not want to pick her up just becuase she got into an argument with Kaylee, Shawn’s phone call made you rethink your resolve to have her stay and sort things out herself. You want her to know that you’re there for her always and she can count on you.  

Ella’s mostly quiet on the way home, despite you trying to get her to talk. She goes to bed shortly after you get home, and you can’t help but stay awake wondering if you handled the situation right. Not surprisingly, Shawn texts you a little later, asking if you picked up Ella, to which you let him know that you have and he doesn’t have to worry.

The next morning, Ella crawls into your bed at 6am and cuddles up next to you. Still half asleep, you pull her closer to yourself. “Mom?” She questions, sounding way too wide awake for this time of day.

“Mhmm?” You respond.

“Can I go to Shawn’s today?”

“Todays our day.” You reply without even opening your eyes. Ella spends nearly every Sunday afternoon with Shawn and Katie and will usually stay the night, then Shawn will drop her off at school in the morning. Saturdays are the only days you and Ella spend together, unless she ends up going with Stephen. Usually, Saturdays are the only days you have off, so you spend as much time with Ella as you can.

“Then can he and Katie come here?” She asks, and you open your eyes now, looking into her eyes. You study her for a second, and for the first time in a long time, you see so much of her dad in her face.

“El, what’s wrong?” You ask.

“Nothing,” She mumbles, averting her eyes.

“Why do you have to have to see Shawn today?” You ask, and she doesn’t answer right away, so you ask, “Did something happen at Stephen’s yesterday that you’re not telling me?”

She just shakes her head. She was really quiet last night, and had only told you she wanted to come home and didn’t want to stay the night last night, but she insisted that nothing else had gone wrong besides the argument with Kaylee whenever you prodded her. Even so, you feel guilty for it and know you’ll give in to her request if Shawn doesn’t mind. “He might be busy.” You finally respond.

“He’s not.” She says, sounding pretty sure.

“How do you know?” You ask her.

“I talked to him.” She says in that matter of fact voice that makes her sound more like eighteen than eight.

“When?”

“When I woke up.” After the words leave her lips, you glance at your watch to see if you were mistaken about the time earlier, but your watch says 6:03am, confirming it really is that early.

“Did you call him?” You ask, and she nods. “Ella,” Your voice indicates your disapproval, but she just stares up at you with her wide eyes, unfazed. You don’t even finish what you were trying to say. “What did Shawn say?” You ask instead.

“He said I could come over and that he could pick me up if you want him to.” She replies as though it should have been obvious, and you should have known that would be the answer. She’s right. You can’t think of a time Shawn denied Ella from spending time with him except for when he was working or out of town, and even then, especially as she’s gotten older, she’s tagged along with him to the studio or even on weekend trips once in a while.  

You give in, feeling a little bit guilty over everything that happened with the sleepover. “Alright, how about I make breakfast and we have Shawn and Katie over.” It’s been a while since you had seen both of them and spent time with them. Things have been extremely busy for you at work, so you’ve mostly just seen them for a few minutes at a time when you were dropping off or picking up Ella. Katie has become one of your best friends over the last two years that she and Shawn have been together, so it’ll be nice to have them both over for breakfast because you want to catch up with her too.

You decide to keep breakfast simple, just making pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Ella helped with cooking the eggs then she disappeared into her room, probably to play for a bit since she had already set the table and there was nothing else to cook. You’re just finishing up with the last of the pancakes when there’s a knock at the door. “Come in!” You call out from your spot at the stove. You had unlocked the front door earlier, knowing they’d be coming.  

You greet them both and apologize to them for Ella calling them last night and so early this morning since you still felt bad. They both insisted it was fine, and you’re reminded yet again why you’re so happy that Shawn is with Katie and not someone else. You can’t expect most people to be fine with your relationship with Shawn and the responsibility he has taken on in being a part of Ella’s life. It has come up as an issue in more than one of Shawn’s past relationships. However, Katie has always allowed Ella into her home and her life and seemed to welcome the weekly sleepovers and the random phone calls.  

You’ve checked with Shawn so many times about it, letting him know that if it was ever too much for them to have her so often or if it was straining their relationship in any way that he should just let you know and you wouldn’t send Ella there so often, but Shawn and Katie have both insisted that they like having her around. You can tell that Katie genuinely cares for Ella and likes to spend time with her, which is the only reason you allow Ella over there so often. The feeling is mutual because Ella absolutely adores Katie as well. Since you’ve been distant from your family for a long time, it is nice for Ella to have people close to her that you consider family.

Shawn takes a seat on the couch, while you and Katie continue talking in the kitchen. You start to mention the sleepover to her, wanting to hear her take on it all when Ella comes flying out of her room and you stop your conversation short, not wanting her to hear. She runs straight for Shawn, wrapping her arms around his neck since he’s sitting down and is almost eye level with her. He puts an arm around her, patting her back. Shawn shoots you a questioning look over her shoulder, but you only shrug.

Ella has always loved Shawn, but she doesn’t normally greet him like this. She’ll hug him regularly, but not usually with this much enthusiasm unless he’s been gone for a while, which doesn’t apply this time because Ella saw Shawn less than a week ago. She finally lets go of him, plopping down on the couch next to him and rolling around a bit, full of energy while Shawn asks, “What’s gotten into you?” But he keeps the question from being too serious because he’s got a smile on his face, so she just shrugs off his question, and you call them over for breakfast.

The four of you sit down to eat, and Ella is uncharacteristically quiet throughout the entire meal. The three adults keep the conversation going, but Ella rarely interjects, which is not like her. After breakfast, Ella leaves to go to the bathroom, and Shawn immediately turns to you as soon as she’s out of earshot. “What happened at Stephen’s?” He demands, and you knew that this question was coming, but you don’t have an answer.

You just shrug, “I don’t know. She won’t talk about it.”

“Did you ask Stephen if anything happened?” Shawn asks.

“No, he said it was just an argument between her and his girlfriend’s daughter. He wasn’t super happy that I was picking her up. He thinks I’m too protective.”

You can visibly see Shawn’s jaw clench, the telltale sign of his anger. Shawn was never Stephen’s biggest fan. The two of them got along alright while you were together, but only out of obligation. However, after the breakup, Stephen turned out to not be the best guy, and Shawn never hesitated to share his dislike for him with you. Shawn kept his negative thoughts about Stephen to himself around Ella, but you’d talk with Shawn about Stephen, especially whenever he’d pop up again with a text.  

Within the past few months, Stephen’s been coming up a lot more in conversation because Stephen has been around a lot more. Shawn understands that Stephen is Ella’s dad and that means she should know him. However, Shawn has a lot harder of a time understanding how Stephen could walk away in the first place and take eight years to get his shit together enough to be in Ella’s life. You’re not sure if he will ever let that go.

“I’ll talk to her.” Shawn finally says, and you’re glad that you’re not having to get into it with him right now about Stephen. When Ella comes back from the bathroom, she plops down next to Shawn on the couch.

You go to the kitchen to clean up the breakfast dishes, and Katie follows, leaving Shawn and Ella to talk. You and Katie finish cleaning up the dishes as you talk to her about Stephen and the sleepover. She notes that Ella seems a lot quieter today, showing that she noticed it too. She also shares that Ella seemed pretty upset the night before when she called Shawn to pick her up.

You knew that Ella was upset because she called you, but you didn’t expect her to call Shawn as well, and you didn’t expect that she would be so upset that she would convince him to leave his dinner and pick her up when he knew you intentionally weren’t doing anything just in case she needed you.

When the kitchen is clean, you and Katie end up sitting at the kitchen table talking while Shawn and Ella are still in the living room. You can hear their voices through the open doorway but can’t understand what they’re saying.

After a little while, Shawn enters the kitchen and takes a seat at the table. Both you and Katie stop your conversation and look expectantly at him, wanting to know if Ella said anything about the sleepover.

He takes a deep breath before saying. “They got into an argument and Kaylee basically told her that Stephen never wanted her to be his daughter. She said she heard him tell her mom that. And then when Ella got upset, Stephen didn’t even tell her it wasn’t true. He basically just said she was overreacting.” Shawn keeps his voice low, so Ella can’t hear him over the sound of the tv, but you can tell he’s upset, and you are too.

“That’s what really happened?” You reply in disbelief. Hearing it breaks your heart all over again. You always knew Stephen didn’t want a kid when you had Ella, but you never wanted her to know that. To some extent, you know she knew because he was not in her life for so long, but you didn’t want her to ever have to hear it from anyone. An eight-year old should never have to hear that they’re unwanted by their dad. No one should have to hear that they’re unwanted by their parent no matter what age they are.

Shawn nods solemnly, “I wouldn’t have wanted to stay there either. And I can’t believe he didn’t tell you any of that.”

“So, what did you tell her?” You ask, choosing to ignore his last comment about Stephen. You know you’ll have to have a conversation with Ella about all of this later, probably after Shawn and Katie leave.

“I just told her the same thing I’ve been telling her since she started asking about him when she was five. That he’s the one losing out, not her. But what do you tell a kid after something like that happens?”

You shrug because he’s right and you don’t know what you’re going to say to her. “We can talk about this later.” You say quietly because you don’t want Ella to accidentally overhear what you’re saying.

Shawn nods and changes the subject. After a bit, the three of you move back into the living room where Ella is still watching cartoons. You settle on the couch, grateful to have a lazy morning with your favorite people. Since Ella had been going with Stephen most Saturdays lately, you haven’t been able to spend as much time with her as you were used to. And you had been picking up more shifts at the cafe, so you haven’t been able to see Shawn or Katie much either.

The peaceful scene is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. You weren’t expecting anyone, but you walk over to the door anyway, opening it up. When you see Stephen on the other side, you’re shocked, to say the least.

You step outside instead of inviting him in. Closing the door behind you, you say, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s Saturday, and since you took Ella last night, I came to see my daughter.”

It takes everything you have in you to not lash out at him. After taking a very deep, very necessary breath, you ask, “What happened last night that made Ella so upset?”

“I already told you, she and Kaylee were just having an argument, regular kid stuff, you know how it is. And she got really upset, that’s when she called you and said she wanted to come home. I was sorting it out, but she just wanted to get picked up, so they never got to resolve it.”

From the tone of his voice, you can tell he was not very happy with her decision and yours as well. You knew that last night, though. What you didn’t know was what actually happened. And if Shawn hadn’t talked to Ella, you’re not sure if you would know since Ella didn’t seem too keen on telling you.

“Seriously, Stephen?” You question in disbelief.

“Yeah, and you came and picked her up before we could even sort anything out. I let you take her home last night, but it’s Saturday, so I want to at least take her to breakfast and spend time with her.”

“Why?” You question, more venom in your voice than you intended.

“Because she’s my kid.”

“Okay, but that never meant anything to you for the past eight years. Why now?”

“I already told you, I wasn’t ready for the responsibility of being a dad back then, and I didn’t want to come into her life unless I knew that I could actually be here for her. I’m trying now, Y/n, cut me a break.”

You’re tired of his excuses, so you cut right to the chase, “Did your girlfriend’s kid tell Ella that you never wanted her?”

He didn’t think you’d find out, you can see it on his face. “Hold on, that’s not what happened.” He starts trying to explain, but the truth is, you don’t want to hear it.

“Just leave, Stephen. She’s not going with you today. Not after everything.”

“Y/n, it wasn’t that bad. She’s just sensitive.”

“Do not talk about her. She deserves so much better than you.” You tell him before turning and going back inside, closing the door behind you. You lean on the door for a second, eyes closed as you take a deep breath. When you open your eyes, you can see Ella, Katie, and Shawn all in the living room. Ella is watching tv, unaware of anything going on, meanwhile, Shawn and Katie and are both watching you silently. As you start walking toward them, the doorbell starts ringing again, and you’d like to punch Stephen in the face.

When you don’t turn around to go back to the door, Ella’s attention is drawn away from the tv. “Who is it?” She asks.

As much as you don’t want to tell her, you’re not going to lie. You’ve always committed to being as honest with Ella as possible, and since she’s directly impacted and involved, you won’t hide this from her. “Your dad.”

“Why is he here?” She questions, but you can tell she isn’t happy to hear that.

Shawn and Katie may have had an idea it was him, but they didn’t know either since you stepped outside so quickly after opening the door. Shawn sits up straighter as his eyes dart from you to Ella, to the door Stephen is undoubtedly standing behind.

“He came because he said it’s Saturday and you usually see him on Saturdays.”

You pause, studying her reaction. She doesn’t say whether or not she wants to go. Instead, she asks, “What did you say?”

“I told him you weren’t going with him.” You respond.

“Was he mad?” She asks, timidly.

“It doesn’t matter.” You reply as the doorbell rings again. She clearly can tell that her dad is still here.

“I’ll just go. I don’t want everyone to be mad.” Ella says, but you can see it on her face that she’s torn because she really doesn’t want to go. She’s always been such a sweet kid, and Stephen has nothing to do with that, so Stephen shouldn’t get to benefit from it. It’s not fair to her, especially after what happened last night.

“No, El, baby, you don’t have to go with him.” You reply, and she stays silent for a second, thinking.

In the meantime, Shawn walks over to the door, pulling it open, “She doesn’t want to go with you, just leave.” He says, forcefully.

“Hey, man, stay out of this. She’s my daughter, not yours.” Stephen replies clearly taken aback that Shawn is standing in front of him. You can’t see Shawn’s face, but you know he’s pissed.

“You could’ve fooled me.” Shawn responds, still managing to keep his cool.

“Ella, let’s go!” Stephen calls out, knowing Ella is here, even though Shawn is standing in his way and won’t let him in.

Ella stands from the couch, but you gently wrap your arm around her waist and turn her around. You shake your head at her, and she doesn’t attempt to move anymore. Stephen needs to know that he cannot come here and behave this way. He needs to know that what happened the night before is not okay. You’ve tried to be as accommodating as possible, but you will not stand by or accommodate this.

She’s not in danger, at least you don’t think she is. But even so, you don’t want her to go with Stephen right now because she called you just last night telling you she wanted to come home from Stephen’s and you haven’t even been able to have a full conversation with her about it.

Katie speaks up, “Hey El, how about we go play in your room for a bit while everything gets sorted out.” She smiles at Ella, and Ella nods, no doubt feeling the tension, but also knowing she’s safe with Katie. You meet Katie’s eyes before she walks away, and you silently convey how grateful you are.

As they disappear down the hall, you walk back toward the door where Shawn and Stephen are having an intense conversation. “You don’t have a right to see her. It doesn’t work like that.” You hear Shawn say.

“She’s my daughter. I do have a right to see her.”

“No, actually, you don’t. There is no custody agreement in place. Y/n has sole legal custody of Ella, and she always has. You’ve been MIA for eight years, and all of a sudden you think it’s your right to see her. You’re just lucky Y/n is as forgiving as she is because God knows you don’t deserve it.” Shawn had to know those were fighting words, but he said them anyway. You know you have to step in or things will get a lot worse.

“He’s right. You don’t have legal custody. Ella is not going with you today, especially after all of this, but if you leave right now and I talk to Ella about what happened and how she’s feeling, I’ll call you and we can figure things out. But I’m serious Stephen, leave. Now.” You have to intentionally keep your voice low because if not, you know you’d start screaming at him. Stephen just looks at you then at Shawn before taking a step back.

“Call me.” He mumbles before turning around and walking back toward his car. You and Shawn both stand silently and watch him retreat. Only when he finally gets into his car does Shawn close the door and lock it, turning to you.

“Unbelievable.” He mutters. “Are you okay?” Shawn asks, looking down at you, and when you nod, Shawn asks, “Is Ella okay?” He starts walking toward Ella’s room, but you stop him before he even takes two steps.

“Hey, calm down.” You tell him quietly, not wanting him to barge into Ella’s room while he’s still upset.

“Did you just witness what I did? And you’re telling me to calm down.” Shawn responds in disbelief, and you can tell he’s still just as riled up, which is odd for Shawn since he isn’t the type to get angry easily.

“Yes. I don’t want Ella to think something is wrong.” You explain.

“Something is wrong. Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s lucky he gets to see Ella at all and he comes here saying it’s his right...” As Shawn continues to rant, you begin processing everything that just happened. Stephen should have never shown up the way he did. You’ll have to sort something out with him regarding custody. Even though you tried avoiding it, if Stephen is serious about seeing Ella, you may have to actually go to court to get a custody agreement. You’re just afraid that will mean Ella will be forced to see him, which is why you chose to never ask for anything from Stephen and never push any type of custody agreement or even have him added to her birth certificate.

While all of these thoughts are running through your mind, you notice Shawn is still so upset. It feels shocking to you because of how calm Shawn usually is in stressful or intense situations, which is what made you two work so well as friends for so long. You finally interrupt his rant against Stephen, saying the first thing that comes to mind, “You feel like he’s encroaching on your territory.”

“My territory? You and Ella are not territory.” He responds outraged by the idea, and you have to admit it was a poor choice of words. Shawn continues his rant, your statement obviously not fulfilling the purpose you intended it to have, “He wasn’t there when she was born and would cry all night because of colic. He wasn’t there when she started talking or when she started preschool. He didn’t teach her to ride a bike or swim or play the piano. It’s not about territory. It’s about the fact that he never stepped up as her dad, even though he had so many opportunities to, and then all of a sudden, he thinks he can play the dad card and fucking guilt trip her into going with him. That’s why I’m mad.”

Shawn is right. Every single thing he said was right, and you won’t even try to pretend otherwise. “You’re right.” You pause, and silence settles between the two of you. Finally, you say, “I’m going to check on Ella.” You turn and start walking toward Ella’s room.

“Me too.” You hear Shawn say, but you spin around to stop him.

“Not while you’re still mad.” You tell him seriously.

Shawn opens his mouth like he’s about to argue, but he decides not to and sits down on the couch instead of following you into Ella’s room. Ella looks up from playing with her doll when you walk in. You take a seat on her bed, and she asks, “Is he gone?”

You nod, “Yes.” You say quietly. “Can we talk for a bit, El?” You ask, and she looks up at you questioningly. Katie excuses herself and steps out while you move to the floor to sit next to Ella. It takes a few seconds for you to finally find the right words to talk about Stephen. When you ask about him, Ella finally shares the same thing she told Shawn earlier, and you’re able to talk to her about what happened the day before.

After talking for twenty minutes, you feel like you finally made it clear to Ella how much she is loved, and you helped her understand that she didn’t owe Stephen anything and she could decide whether or not she sees him.

She seems to feel better after it all, and you both walk back out to the living room where Shawn and Katie are waiting for you. You can tell Shawn is still a little bit upset but talking to Katie helped. They decide to leave after a little longer, and you settle in for a lazy afternoon with Ella, which you’re grateful for. Before Stephen popped back into the picture, your Saturdays went like this a lot, but after he started taking Ella on Saturdays, you haven’t seen her nearly as much.

The next day, you drop Ella off at Shawn’s in the afternoon, intentionally showing up a little early to give yourself some time to talk to them before going to work.

Ella runs off to her room to play with a new doll set Shawn had bought her the week before. She’s been talking about it almost nonstop since she was here last week.

When you and Shawn are alone, you waste no time, “Should I have not let Stephen see Ella again? I’m so scared he’s going to hurt her, well hurt her more than he already has. She’s such a sweet kid, she doesn’t deserve this.”

“If you stand between them, she’ll grow up blaming you for the lack of their relationship.” Shawn replies, clearly having thought through this too.

“I thought yesterday you were against him. I thought you were on my side.”

He sighs, placing a hand on each of your shoulders to help calm you down, something he’s been doing since you were both teenagers. “I’m on your side. I’m always on your side.”

“It doesn’t feel like it. I don’t know what to do. She’s still so little. I don’t want her to get hurt. She knows so much more than she lets on. She knows that he didn’t come around for the first eight years of her life and a dad who cared wouldn’t do that. His excuse is the shittiest excuse ever, but I don’t want to tell her that.”

“You don’t have to tell her that.” He whispers.

Silence settles between you two, until you finally say that thing you’ve thought about in the back of your mind ever since Stephen came back into your lives and even sometimes before then. “What if he wants custody? And we have to go to court? And then he will have a right to her and I’ll be forced to share her, and she will have to go over there. What if she doesn’t want to go? But what if she has to?” You fire all of these questions one after the other without even stopping to breath or give him a chance to reply.

“Hey, hey, y/n, calm down. That’s not going to happen, okay? Ella’s old enough to decide if she wants to see him or not, and a judge will respect that if it ever gets to that point.”

“I’m just stressed.” You respond, knowing Shawn is probably right. This isn’t the first conversation you’ve had with him regarding parenting and how you’re terrified to be doing it wrong. He’s been there to support you through all the decisions you were afraid to make and all the questions you had about how to raise a child.

“I know, try not to worry about it, okay? Just give it some time, talk to Ella about it more, about what she wants. And then talk to Stephen. It’s going to be okay.” Shawn reassures you and helps by putting a complete plan into words.

You just nod, still feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You finally stand up, thanking Shawn, and knowing you have to leave right away, or you’ll be late for work. You go and say goodbye to Ella. When you come back out, Shawn says, “Katie’s going to take Ella to school tomorrow, but you’re picking her up right?”

“Yeah, I can pick her up.” You say, grabbing your purse and keys, “Wait, are you leaving?”

“Yeah, remember I have to go to LA for two weeks, but Katie will still be here.” He responds.

With everything that has been going on lately, you had completely forgotten. “Does Ella know?”

“Yeah, I reminded her a couple of times.”

You’re honestly a little bummed to know Shawn’s leaving right now in the middle of everything feeling uncertain and not sorted out with Stephen, but you’re looking forward to a girl’s night with Katie, something you, her, and Ella do nearly every time Shawn is out of town. Aaliyah comes too sometimes if she’s not busy, so you make a mental note to text them both later to schedule it.

You’re determined to move on like normal, even though things have felt so far from normal lately. You hug Shawn and tell him to have a good flight before rushing off to work, knowing you’re almost certainly going to be late.

~

I’d love to hear your thoughts about Stephen, Shawn’s reaction and behavior, and abourt whether or not you want Shawn and y/n to remain platonic! Feel free to message me! 

[yankyo]

Smooth Jazz

Jazz x Gender Neutral Reader 

Warnings: gets a lil heated at the end, mostly Jazz being flustered baby 

He wasn't used to this, that's what the problem was. Sure, flirting was second nature to this particular clone and wooing pretty girls was his MO, but there was something about you... you were different... and that flustered him. The moment Boss brought him and the other clones out to meet you and he was finally able to meet your eyes for real? Jazz swore the heart that never had a chance to beat nearly leapt from his chest - and it baffled the hell out of him. It wasn't the normal feeling - that he was used to. Hell, it might've even been preferable if he tried to get into your pants first meeting but instead he was reduced to a stammering, blushing mess. It was absolutely pathetic. And there was nothing he could do about it other than silently watch you from a distance and gather little trinkets he thought you might like but never had the courage to actually give to you. He felt like Chameleon with stupid things like flowers he thought were pretty, feathers that shimmered in the sunlight, a teddy bear holding a heart, little tapes of him singing love songs - it was downright sad. And yet he couldn't throw any of it away on the off chance that one day he managed to reclaim the shattered remains of his balls and be demon enough to give them to you.

For now, he was reduced to a simpering child, ducking out of the room each time you walked in because he was scared he might blurt out something stupid like "your hair is pretty" or a spontaneous love song. Yes. It was that bad. Thankfully, he thought he was managing well enough himself, no one seemed to see much of a difference and you were none the wiser about his awkward crush.... right?

.....

He was in trouble. It wasn’t often that Boss went on a job without him, ever since he toppled Juno and rose up in popularity in the Netherworld he was swamped with work that constantly had him running out to deal with problems from bioexorism to helping some ghouls find their lover that had died years before them and anything in between. Hell, Jazz himself had been called in to help set up entertainment in one of the many speakeasies that ran through the Netherworld. Now that that drag Juno was dead, they didn’t have to hide the fun stuff and that meant some truly rocking parties these days. Jazz had even fantasized about bringing you down to one, netherworld booze was truly something special and taking you out on a night on the town was kinda hard up on the surface. But, returning to the subject at hand, Boss was out on a job and Jazz was left home on his own - well, that wasn’t entirely right, Jazz was left alone with you. All he had gotten in the form of warning was Cici giving him a cryptic message of ‘Have fun’ on their way out before Jazz had been told by Boss that he was to stay and make sure everything was alright at home. Whatever that meant. Surely no one was stupid enough to try and hurt their babes, barring the arrival of some human carrying a monumental death wish, but there wasn’t any arguing before Boss and the others were gone, leaving Jazz to gape helplessly at the smoke left behind.  They even took Chamie and Jay with them! Thankfully, you seemed to sense the awkward air and told Jazz you had some chores to get done while the house was empty, but he couldn’t just sit by and watch while you were hard at work, right? So, he found himself completely out of his element, wearing some frilly apron with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he washed the dishes, setting them aside for you to dry.

Cleaning wasn’t exactly any of the clones forte, Ren, Bee and Wasp were better at it than the others, but when they first came, you had spent a good week getting each clone to wash up separately - Jazz had conveniently managed to weasel out of that particular lesson by jumping inside of one of the Netherworld’s boiling lakes and dumping a good gallon of bleach on himself to pass the scent test. But he almost regretted that particular decision now as you gently led him through the process of cleaning up, praising him when he did a good job and giggling softly when he made some silly mistake. He almost wanted to record that giggle just so he could listen to it on repeat, but he knew part of what made it so cute was seeing your face light up. Fuck, he had it bad. He hoped he was doing a decent job of maintaining his cool and smooth persona, but some part of him feared he was just staring at you slack jawed in awe like some moron. Hopefully you didn’t notice.

“What’s up next?” His voice was thankfully level this time, no more of those embarrassing stutters, though he thought he felt his heart catch in his throat as you gave a soft, inquisitive, hum, your lips pursed in thought as you scanned the kitchen,

“Well, would you mind helping me get dinner started?” He blanched at the thought. Him? Cooking?? He was half surprised the oven didn’t implode at the very sight of him, but what was he going to do? Say no to you? So he gave a hesitant nod, forcing himself to give what he hoped was a carefree smile but could have just been a grimace.

“What do you want to make?” That cute expression was back as you mused over what you had in the kitchen before you gave him a bright smile.

“I know what we should make!” You reached out and took his still soapy hand, pulling him out of the kitchen and back to the living room. “Some fucking take out. I’ll have to go shopping tomorrow and fill up on groceries anyways.” You declared, pushing him onto the couch before you flung yourself down onto the couch next to him - almost into his lap. “I’m thinking Chinese, how bout you?” You continued on, seemingly unaware of Jazz’s tense form next to you as he prayed to whatever god was out there and listening that he wouldn’t self combust or pop a boner or pass out or - your thighs were splayed over his lap, your hands in the air, gesturing vaguely as you mused over what everyone would want to eat and the Chinese place you had discovered with Bee when you went out on a date with the other clone. Jealousy curdled in the pit of his stomach, the idea of Bee being able to take you out and see that pretty smile while Jazz was stuck pining from afar was a sour one, and perhaps it was the jealousy that finally gave him the push he needed to reach up and grab your chin, turning your head so he could press a kiss to your lips. His fingers splayed across your neck, the other reaching around you to cradle your head as he deepened the kiss. Even as some panicked voice in the back of his head screamed at him for the hasty action, your hands clutched the frilly apron he still wore desperately, little whimpers escaping you as you rubbed your thighs together.

He didn’t know how long he kissed you, he could have died again like this if he could, but soon he remembered that humans needed to breathe, so he pulled back just enough to see your flushed and needy expression, the sight of you making his ego swell back to its normal size.

“Heh, just a kiss got you so flustered?” He purred, easily shifting your body on his lap so that you were straddling him, his hands splayed across your still squirming thighs. “Shouldn’t we order the takeout before everyone gets back?” He asked, his smile growing as you pouted at him. “Or are you hungry for something else, little songbird?”