#i feel at ease just messaging u on here too which is :) nice :)

[jqyszn]

Like what you see?💤

paring: dom!bestfriend!sunghoon x sub!fem!reader

genre: smut, friends to lovers (mdni !!)

summary: in which you come home to find your best friend getting off, weird but it's natural right? not until you heard him calling out for you.

warnings: smut ofc, masturbating, unprotected sex (don’t be a prick, wrap your dick!!) , panty stealing… riding, body worship, fingering, biting, degradation, spitting, marking, squirting, profanity, dirty talk, pet names (slut, cum dump, princess), breeding kink, sunghoon is a perv,, this is honestly just pure filth too😭 (Imk if i missed anything!!)

wc: 1.5k (1,597)

a/n: this is my first fic (😭) i apologize in advance for the cringe wattpad like writing,, also english isn’t my first language so please ignore any grammar mistakes <3 i hope u guys enjoy and im so sorry for the wait like i don’t know why it took me like three weeks to make a 1.5k fic😭😭😭 i promise for my other works they will be more hastily written🩷🩷

taglist: @lelelelelelenim @iamkali @jjonghoonist @ramenoil @deobitifull @velathaheigeros @enhaz1 @thinaswreck @heeseungsslutt @cherriruto @yohanabanana @hvnyujiq @fightqueen @parkhonnie (some of the tags aren’t working so i’m so deeply sorry for everyone who asked and isn’t here </3)

“can i come over?” you read the writing on your phone as you best friend sunghoon messaged you. “yea, sure :) i’m still at work though but you have the extra key anyway.” you replied to him putting down your phone and typing away at your computer. your phone buzzes once again but desperate to rest, you ignore it and continue working.

on the other hand, sunghoon is at your door in a heartbeat. he unlocks the door with ease, walking in, the smell of you instantly hitting him. he inhaled your lingering scent as he closes his eyes imagining him nuzzling into your neck, pounding into you, taking in the smell of your natural perfume. “fuck.” sunghoon groans as his cock starts to feel heavy.

he makes his way towards your room, your scent growing more intense as he groans internally. “what are you doing to me y/n?” he thinks about his morals for a minute before diving into your laundry basket, picking up a used lace thong. he curses at himself but he doesn’t stop. instead he goes on your bed and propped himself up nice and pretty.

he holds your panty in his left hand bringing it closer to his face as he takes a fat whiff of you as he threw his head back. his other hand starts palming his refined boner as he continues sniffing at your undergarment. he pulls down his sweats down to his knees along with his boxers, freeing his hardened member. “oh god..” he grunts as he drapes your thong over his leaking, pink tip. staining it with his glossy precum.

unbeknownst to him, you’re already back home taking off you heels. “hoon?” you call out neatly tucking away your shoes as you make your way to your room. “fuck yes y/n, you’re taking my cock in so good~” did you hear that right? you stopped in your tracks thinking there must be someone else in your room. scared, you peep your head in your doorway, looking ahead into your room.

and to your surprise, it’s sunghoon. pumping his cock furiously, his eyebrows furrowed, lip bitten, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead and your thong over his length. fuck he looked so hot. you always had a thing for sunghoon but not wanting to ruin your friendship, you kept it to yourself and your trusted diary. you can’t help but clamp your legs together, almost moaning at the sight.

you decided to test your faith, so you walked over infront of your bed. “shit y/n! your pussy is so fucking tight princess!” sunghoon whimpers out, he opens his eyes only to see you. standing infront of him, arms crossed and face flushed with a crimson tone. “like what you see doll?” sunghoon smirks not showing one bit of embarrassment. instead, a sense of pride.

“i.. uhm..” you stutter shocked by the lack of embarrassment he showed on his face. “you love it huh? watching your best friend fuck himself with your skimpy thong? huh? look at you. i bet you’re all soaking wet from watching me pump my cock for you isn’t that right, slut?” he whispered, walked over to you, leaning down into your ear moaning playfully as he nibble on your earlobe.

“ahh.. hoon..” you whimper at his words, his hands trailing up and down your body stopping where you wanted him the most. “shit. no panties? do you really are just a slutty whore aren’t you? practically begging any man to cream your pussy right? you better fucking stop. because this tight, wet, creamy cunt is all mine. understood?” he degrades as he slaps your warmth, making you jerk forward as you nod your head in response.

“use your words doll. you know i hate stupid little whores.” he orders rubbing circles into your clit making you moan and clinging onto sunghoon’s broad shoulders. “you’re gonna let me breed your sopping pussy yeah? fill you up with my babies to show everyone who you belong to right?” he mutters over your neck, sucking and biting marks all over your neck. “yes hoon.. i’m all yours.” you finally managed to moan out.

“good girl.. now come here.” sunghoon ordered as he picked you up effortlessly, slamming you down on his lap earning a yelp from you. “may i?” he asks for your consent before stripping you to which you consented. “oh fuck doll, you’re gorgeous.” sunghoon admires your soft skin, rolling his fingers over your nipples licking his lips. “feels good hoon~” you whine out bucking your hips into his. “i know pretty girl..” he coos a finger teasing at your wet hole, him waiting for a reaction.

“hoon please.. i want you.” you whimper grinding on his fingers as he smiles in satisfaction. “beg for it then. tell me how much you want me to fuck you dumb.” he grins looking down at you and watching your face contort from the feeling of his long and slender fingers sliding into your core. “i want you to fuck me until i can’t walk anymore.. i need your cum in me hoon. i need it so so bad!” you squeal at the sensation of his fingers going in and out of my sopping cunt. wet, gushing sounds reverberating around the room. “good girl..” he grunts, speeding up his pace.

you feel a familiar knot in your abdomen, panting uncontrollably as you arch your back, “fuck hoon i’m close..!” you whimper, him smirking back at your call as he continues to finger you in the ‘come here’ motion. “cum for me then slut.” he commands as you release on his fingers. the sight was so dirty, your squirt soaking his fingers and your sheets, his mouth sucking your juices off you and you arching your back, your mouth forming an ‘o’ shape.

“fuck,, you’re such a slut huh?” he teases, pulling his digits out of you and shoves them in your mouth. “now suck.” he commands, to which you obey. swirling your tongue around his fingers coating them in your saliva. his cock twitches at the sight, sunghoon wanted to absolute ruin you.

sunghoon sat comfortably on the bed patting his bare thighs, “come here.” he commanded, smirking at you. “what are you waiting for? is it because i’m not heeseung?” he gritted his teeth, the flashback of you giving heeseung a lap dance engraved in his mind wishing it was him you were grinding all up on. “no.. it’s not that” you mutter out quietly, crawling to sunghoon straddling him.

“what is it then? hm?” he caressed your thighs softly, looking at you expectantly. “it’s just.. i’ve been waiting for this since we became friends hoon..” you ground your hips down on his throbbing length, smiling at him softly. His eyes darkened at your words as he tightened his grip on your hips, pushing you down onto his lap roughly, feeling your wet pussy sliding along his engorged cock. "oh is that so? enjoying yourself aren’t you?" he smirked at you once again.

He grabs you by the hair and pulls your face close to his, thrusting his tongue into your mouth, kissing you with a deep passion as his cock twitches against your slick hot cunt. you kiss him back passionately moaning into the kiss. “trust me doll, you’re gonna forget who heeseung even is after i fuck you dumb.” he growls as he grabbed onto your hips pulling you towards himself forcefully slamming his cock deep inside your tiny hole stretching it wide "fuck... yes.... fuck..!" he grunts.

“you’re so fucking big hoon~!” you whine out watching him slowly thrust in and out of you. “i know doll, i know.” he replies cockily while grunts he slams himself against you harder, grabbing your breasts roughly and squeezing them, feeling your nipples get rock hard under his fingers as he continued to slam into you, using you like a toy as he pounded you relentlessly. you moan his name like a mantra, completely fucked out.

“yeah that’s it. moan my name like a whore. you’re all mine understand?” he glared at you waiting for your answer. “yes hoon! i’m all yours!” you pant out, bouncing up and down on his girthy cock, your cunt convulsing around his length. he smirked proudly, thrusting himself deeper inside you until he was buried completely within you. "that's right, doll. cum all over my fucking dick." He whispered huskily, grabbing onto your hips tightly as he began pounding away at you mercilessly, driving you crazy with desire.

“shit hoon i’m cumming!” you scream, feeling yourself come undone. a thick, creamy gloss ring coats the base of his dick, dripping down onto his thighs. “can i cum in you doll?” he asks for permission as you nod your head, “yes yes yes! cum in me sunghoon! i want your load in me so bad!” you beg, your body shaking from the stimulation your yet receiving.

“so fucking good, all wet and creamy all just for me.” he grunts as he finally shoots his milky, thick load inside of you. guiding your hips as he rides out his high. he pulls out of you, you whining at the emptiness. “look. watch my seed drip out of you.” he orders as you watch his gooey cum trickle from your well fucked hole down onto the sheets.

“are you gonna give me aftercare or are you gonna be a dickhead?” you cocked an eyebrow

“only if you be mine forever.” he smirked jokingly, getting towels to clean you off.

“i’ve always been yours.”

[yourgothiccqueen]

LN4 - “Formula One Sucks” Part 2

Summary: Y/N and Lando go on their first date.

Pairings: Lando Norris x Female Reader

Warnings: Swearing, hints of sexual tension etc

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Masterlist

*Ping*

Y/N glanced down at her phone, a small smile forming at her lips. There would only be one person messaging her so late at night.

lightning mcqueen: Soooo, what did you think of the race today? :)

The last thing she expected to happen after her begrudging trip to Silverstone was to end up texting a certain McLaren driver.

Well, it was more than texting really. There were calls too, every other day. Lando was a busy (understatement of the year) guy, but they’d found themselves falling into a comfortable routine of late night conversations.

y/n: didn’t watch it, was too busy washing my dog :,)

A lie, of course. Y/N had recently found herself infatuated with F1. She hadn’t missed a race. But she wasn’t going to let Lando feel smug about that.

lightning mcqueen: u little shit, you don’t have a dog!

y/n: says who?!

lightning mcqueen: you, on the phone last week!

y/n: 🤷‍♀️ maybe I was washing my friends dog?

lightning mcqueen: its okay, no need for lies - i know ur an f1 super fan now thanks to yours truly :D

Y/N felt a smile tug at her lips. Okay, he was smug. But it was kinda cute.

y/n: okayyyy, perhaps I did watch. And perhaps I thought you were rather impressive. happy now?

lightning mcqueen: very :) goodnight grumpy girl x

y/n: goodnight u smug bastard x

————————————————————-

It didn’t take long for him to ask her on a date. It caught her by surprise, despite the ease at which they’d been chatting over the past month.

“What do you even wear on a date with an F1 driver?” Y/N groaned, flopping back on to her bed.

Piles of clothes were scattered around the room, deemed totally unacceptable for a date with Lando Norris.

“Not this.” Her friend Annie, grimaced, picking up a bright pink Oodie off of the floor.

“Yeah no shit!”

“Look, you must have something in here.” Annie rummaged through the wardrobe. “Where’s he taking you anyway?”

“Someplace in central. It’s not too fancy, but it’s definitely fancier than the pink Oodie.” Y/N pointed.

“Oooo. This could work!” Annie pulled out a relatively new, seemingly unworn black dress. “Can’t go wrong with a little black dress.”

Y/N’s eyes widen - “I can’t wear that!”

“Why the hell not?”

“It’s too…showy. I bought it on a whim. For a nice occasion.”

Annie rolled her eyes “if you’re not going to wear it on a date with a super hot formula one driver, then when the hell are you gonna wear it?!”

Fair point.

———————————————————

Stood outside the restaurant, Y/N felt her nerves begin to grow. What the hell was she doing? She didn’t do this sort of thing! If she’d had told herself a month ago that she’d be going on a date with Lando, she’d have laughed in her own face. This was wild. This was ridiculous. This was positively insane in fact!

“Y/N?”

Suddenly whipped out of her own thoughts, Y/N turned around.

Oh god, he looked bloody gorgeous.

He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling as he did. His white shirt was a stark contrast against his tan skin. His curly hair was slightly more tamed than usual - he’d clearly made an effort, which made Y/N’s heart race even faster.

“Hey!” She managed to stutter out, sounding far more confident than she felt inside.

“Hi! God I’m so sorry I’m late, were you waiting long?” Lando queried.

Y/N had failed to notice that he was late in the first place, having been so in her own head.

“No just got here.” She smiled. “You look really nice.” She paused, a fleeting moment of confidence. “For a smug bastard, of course.”

A quick laugh left Lando’s mouth.

“Ha! You look lovely too, despite being the world's grumpiest woman, of course.”

“Oh of course.” Y/N giggled, as they made their way inside.

He’d chosen well - it was beautiful inside the restaurant, but not fancy enough to make Y/N feel uncomfortable.

Y/N placed her phone down on the table as she sat, and Lando couldn’t help but catch a glimpse.

“Wait, why am I called Lightning McQueen in your phone?” He laughed.

“Because you’re fast - duh!”

“Lightning McQueen is red.” Lando retorted, a look of exasperation written across his face, as he made himself comfortable in his chair.

“So?”

Lando rolled his eyes, jokingly.

"There's nothing wrong with red cars!" Y/N exclaimed.

“Well, I prefer orange myself. Gimme your phone, I’ve got a better name.”

“If I must”

Y/N passed her phone across the table and into Lando's hand. His fingers brushed hers as she did so. Despite their playful bickering, she couldn't help but wish she could leave her hand on his a moment longer.

God, she was fully gone and she'd only been sat in his presence for less than five minutes. He was going to be the death of her.

Lando typed into Y/N’s phone momentarily, before passing it back, a small smirk on his face.

“Lando ‘The Hunk’ Norris?” She laughed, eyebrows raising. “Really?”

“Well, it’s much more accurate, don’t you think?”

He folded his arms across his chest. Y/N felt herself begin to blush, so decided the sane response was to hide herself behind the menu.

"Well?" Lando quipped.

"Well what, Lando 'The Hunk' Norris?" Y/N spoke, glancing up at the curly haired man. His eyes bore into hers, a slight mischievous glint to them.

"Aren't you going to agree?"

"You want me to tell you that you are in fact, a 'hunk'?" She retorted.

Lando leaned back in his chair. "I suppose I don't need you to. The fact that you've gone bright red says it all."

Y/N felt her blush deepen.

"You're a cocky bastard. you know that?"

"I haven't had any complaints yet."

---------------------------------------------------

The rest of the date passed in a blur of midly flirtatious comments and an abundance of sexual innuendos. Y/N wasn't sure what she had been expecting when she'd agreed to a date with Lando. She'd presumed he'd be polite, and sincere and kind - which he was. But what she hadn't anticipated was his quick wit and his ability to call her out. She liked it. She liked it very much indeed.

Perhaps she'd finally met her match.

By the time they left the restaurant the sun had long set, and a light drizzle had set in.

Y/N felt the breath leave her lungs as Lando took his hand in hers.

"Thank you." He smiled, softly.

"What for, exactly?" She questioned, half unable to focus on anything except the feeling of his warm hand in hers.

"For...this. It's not often I get to meet someone who... makes me feel so normal. Someone who isn't afraid to say what's on their mind. It's nice."

Once again, a blush crept up Y/N's neck and towards her cheeks.

"Well, I am pretty incredible." She winked.

"Oh, shut up!"

"Make me."

Lando stepped forward, and in one breathe his lips crashed into her own. It was messy at first, filled with passion and unresolved sexual tension, before they found their rhythm. She closed her eyes, feeling his strong hands wrapped around her waist. His mouth molded against hers, warmth spilling throughout her body. He was perfect. His mouth moved in perfect timing against hers, as she entwined her hands at the base of his hair, letting her fingers run through his curls. She could stand her forever, she thought, with her body pressed against his, his mouth against hers.

Eventually, Y/N pulled away first, gazing up into Lando's darkened eyes. His lips were swollen and wet - she already wanted to kiss him again.

"Want to continue this date at mine?" She whispered, unable to leave his gaze.

"Say no more."

[gyuv1nist]

you belong with me

sung hanbin x reader

you sat on the bleachers watching the football team practice for the big game which was coming up. the sun beat down, casting long shadows across the field as the team ran through exhausting drills. “it’s not like you to sit here and watch practice.” you looked to your left and saw your good friend, matthew, take a seat next to you.

“it’s not like we have any exams to be revising for.” you scoffed, crossing your arms.

“you’re here to watch him aren’t you?” he asked, shifting his focus onto you.

him?

sung hanbin is the kind of person who seems to have it all - looks, charm, intelligence, and talent. with a winning smile and a confident aura, he turns heads wherever he goes. but beneath the surface, there's so much more to him than the title of captain of the football team or school president. he's always there for his friends and loved ones, offering support and encouragement when they need it most.

“was it obvious?” the question came through a laugh as you leaned back and finally take a look at your best friend.

“is the window not enough for you?” he joked, earning a light whack on the back of his nape.

hanbin was your neighbour. you found out when the moving truck was a bit too loud one sunday morning, but you were quick to receive an apology from the boy with a box of homemade pastries. although you were yearning to go back to your bed, your parents invited him in and made you guys talk. you were quick to learn that he was going to start in your school and major in the same subject as you.

after a long talk, you returned to your room and sat at your desk, unable to get his smile out of your head. it lights up his entire face, filling the room with warmth and joy. it's the kind of smile that's contagious, making you feel happy and at ease. you just met the boy and you’re already falling for him?

you pushed yourself towards the blinds, wanting to let some sunshine in. but you find yourself smiling at what you find once you open them. the handsome boy was smiling, holding up a sheet of paper at his window.

[do u wanna walk to class together on monday?]

you fought back a smile as you shook your head at his action and rummaged around for a notepad and pen.

[gimme one good reason why i should]

[you don’t have to ofc! but i feel like it would be nice!]

and from then on, the two of you hit it off. everything about him made you want him to be around you more and more. sure, it was the little things, like holding the door open or making sure you were walking on the side furthest from the cars. but also he learnt your coffee order and brought you it weekly, and always brought a spare hoodie on the cooler days since you weren’t the best at dressing according to the weather.

at ungodly hours of the morning, you found yourself sitting at your window (in a growing pile of paper) giggling at the boy who was across from you. it got to the point where you went to drink from your body spray.

[those aren’t supposed to be consumed silly]

[anything can be if you try hard enough]

you would never forget the way he would laugh at your weird remarks. the way his eyes would light up before he leant back and chuckled, one hand on his chest.

at last, you were finally happy to wake up at 8:30 sharp every morning. until you slowly realise you weren’t the only person whose order was in hanbin’s list. and slowly, those after-class visits to the arcade, art gallery or even just the walks to and from class were becoming slim to none. by the time you got into bed, hanbin hadn’t left a message for you on his window.

the days when it went from bad to horrendous were still clear in your mind and to stop seeing those horrible days you decided to not show up at all. maybe it got to the point where you forgot you still had company other than hanbin that would stay by your side. after a series of knocking, you mustered up the strength to go to the door and find matthew standing there, eyebrows all furrowed, with kamden and jay standing right behind him. (i miss the english trio fr)

“why are you here?”

“we came to make sure you were okay.”

you were anything but okay and they could see it from the way you look defeated, not even able to lie your way out of it. you felt like it shouldn’t have even affected you that much, even going as far as to thinking that you should’ve seen it coming. why was it so easy to fall in love with him?

the point at which it got even worse was when you all decided to go to the friendly football game after your respective classes. it was the day you saw him with someone else.

“i heard she asked him out for prom,” you said, the words barely coming out as a whisper. the sight made you sick to your stomach but there wasn’t really anything you could do- she was perfect. popular, rich, the centre of the cheerleading squad and there wasn’t a moment where a hair was out of place.

“apparently he didn’t accept her, something about it not feeling right?.” kamden muttered, watching as the cheerleader walked away from hanbin towards the sidelines.

which makes you remember the day when you finally did talk to hanbin again.

it was a boring, gloomy day.

the rain aimlessly bounced off your window whilst you were listening to music. hoping that the minimal light would at least make you feel the slightest bit better, you opened the blinds and were shocked to see hanbin sitting on his bed. his eyes trailed up and you felt your heartstrings pull as you fail to see the soft glimmer which would shine through his pupils.

[you ok? :(]

your friends would kill you if they knew how fast you grabbed your notepad and marker pen.

[just tired of drama]

[sorry :(]

his lips pressed into a line as he shrugged, barely being able to muster up a smile. the words on your notepad echoed in your head again and again as you stared at them, your heart beating at an unhealthily fast pace.

by the time you mustered up the courage and held it up, his blinds were shut. you could only blame yourself now.

after all those times when you would sit at the back of the lecture hall talking about his favorite songs, the way you would sit and let him ramble on about his dreams, the fact that you knew exactly what to say to make him laugh when he was about to cry- you at least expected hanbin to acknowledge the fact that there was a bond between the both of you with overwhelming chemistry.

you were dreaming about the day when he would wake up and find that you were what he was looking for.

but now you were convinced it was all your fault. maybe if you had confessed earlier, you wouldn’t have lost him and just maybe, that he would belong with you.

it’s now the night of prom and after rejecting a promposal or two, you’re left in your room with your stuffed animals and netflix rolling in the background. you keep your blinds open, praying that hanbin would show up for at least a few moments.

and those prayers were answered.

[are you coming tonight?]

[no :/ staying in ]

[wish you were]

you smile and roll your eyes jokingly, standing up to get a hoodie to bunch up in during this long night. whilst scanning the wardrobe for something nice and warm, your eyes lay on the dress which you had planned on wearing to prom (in the event that hanbin did ask you out).

you turn your head and your vision focuses on the piece of paper which lays alone on the desk before your eyes land back on the dress.

and you had never gotten ready so fast before. you usually hated gut feelings, but there was something that was telling you to suck it up and just tell hanbin your true feelings. your brain was done with the frustrating questions which you constantly ponder on.

just why can’t he see that you are the one who understands him? the one who’s been here all along?

hands desperately grasp the piece of paper as you run down the stairs, a rush of adrenaline now surging through your body. you slam the door shut and run towards the road, managing to flag down a taxi and scurrying inside, wondering how the taxi driver even understood the clump of words that came out of your mouth.

as you step out you curse the adrenaline for stopping now, the moment you had to walk in with eyes all over you, the moment which could end up in total humiliation. you push past sweaty bodies, looking for the one who had stolen your heart.

“hey oh my god! i thought you weren’t coming!” you mutter a phrase of relief as you saw jay standing there, eyes wide with shock. “you look gorgeous!”

you smile at your friend before remembering the sole reason why you showed up in the first place. “hi jay! you look amazing but i’m in a massive rush right now i’ll explain everything after but please tell me you know where hanbin is.” once again, your words almost come out all fast and breathy, eyes scanning the whole room.

the corner of his lips rises as his eyes dart straight past your head, with your body following suit. “i think you’ll find your man standing right there.”

and at the moment, everything but you and the figure standing in front of you drowns out. when he finally notices you, he slowly makes his way over, his eyes locked on yours.

the intensity of his gaze was strong but delicate as if he was seeing you for the first time and taking in every detail. as he draws closer, you can smell the sweet cologne he's wearing, the scent filling your senses and making you feel dizzy with desire.

“you came?”

you want to express how you feel- to tell him how much he means to you, shit you feel like screaming it, but the words simply won't come. as hanbin’s eyes glaze over with concern you can feel the weight of your unspoken thoughts becoming heavier and heavier. so instead you reach into your purse and pull out the folded note which would put all your emotions into one phrase perfectly.

i love you

if you could fall into a pit of darkness now, you would.

on the other hand, hanbin can feel the warmth spreading through his chest, a wave of euphoria. he wants to tell you how he feels, to hold you in his arms and never let go, how he’s so stupid to take this long to realise you were the one for him, but he's afraid that he'll mess everything up. so he reaches into his blazer pocket, pulls out a piece of paper and opens it.

i love you

he knows that he's found the missing piece of his heart. he takes your hand, pulling you close to him, and he can feel the beat of your heart matching his own. in that moment, hanbin knows that he's found something special, something worth fighting for. and as he looks into your eyes, he realizes that he's in love with you, completely and irrevocably.

the familiar sight of hanbin’s eyes filling with nothing but love had never been so beautiful.

and before you know it- he leans in, his heart pounding in his chest, and presses his lips to yours. it's a soft, gentle kiss, filled with all the emotions hanbin had been holding back for so long. and as he pulls away, he knows that he's found something truly special - a love that will last a lifetime.

“i should be mad at you for how long it took you to see that-

“i belong with you? yeah i know- and i’m really sorry. but let me make it up to you.”

and for the first time (but most definitely not the last) you watch the sunrise from the same window, finally where the both of you belong.

—————————————————————————————

a/n : i am truly sorry for the lack of updates :( it’s exam szn for me so i’m constantly drowning in revision but i finally managed to finish this hanbin fic!! OBVIOUSLY its based off of you belong with me (taylor’s version ofc) and i tried my best to use the song as plot!!

i hope you enjoy this, mwah i love u all

- minah!

[golden-----hour]

97

4/7/24

I wanted to drink because I felt defenseless against stress. That I was plainly in myself unable to take refuge from it. I have a third of a bottle of wine in here. The poppers sit next to me on the bed too.

Sensations: My right thumb is itchy, my nose is slightly itchy. My ass is a little itchy maybe. I keep glancing at my phone to see if I will get a message. On Grindr. My username is Otay for Lorenz. I talk about Lorenz with everyone I know because it is new and nice. I do wonder if I made Noah accidentally jealous today.

I wanted to bring myself here, even though I do not feel poetic at all. (Imagine if I fully devoted my attention to this writing- could bare the intensity of it staring at me.)

I was just checking Instagram. I was looking at Alex Ocio's instagram and seeing the Austrian boyfriend that he has. I feel jealous that they have integrated each other into each other's lives like adults, where my experience with Lorenz is more isolated and less formed. Though I feel glad that it is less developed because it is more appropriate for me right now, because of the insanity of the intensity, and also because we still derive a lot of meaning and pleasure from each other. I also just generally feel angry towards Alex because he ignored me and started dating some Austrian twink. I feel angry because Alex and I shared a lot of the same interests and we still did not quite get along with each other. Ideology contrasted with personality. He was a bad kisser and licked the length of my spine like a dumbass. And I had to tell him how to kiss me. He makes me angry from his audacity. I am going to explore this later. It might only require a few sentences anyways.

I also want to explore this divide: Noah, Allison and Ashley vs. Laura, Lisa, and Molly. What makes these groups of people different and why? Is it alright that I identify with them all? Today I felt a pang of anxiety about what if I am really like the first group of people and not the second: emotional immature, dramatic, insecure, projecting. I get a lot out of my friendships to them, but I find, in knowing Laura and Molly, that the specific negative qualities are pronounced by the stability, comfort, and ease of these friendships. Again I will keep thinking about it. My mind returns to how both Ashley and Noah made sweeping statements about Molly being at a 'different level' than them, and I thought this divide was odd. Ashley also offended me a lot today by expressing her annoyance with me by saying "you are so yourself today." This felt deeply ironic because she was acting immature, more than usual. I moved some things around in my brain to be normal. The dynamic of the group at the kebab place was weirdly tense. Ashley is very reactive to her emotions and expects others to help her maintain them. I don't appreciate that and I don't look up to it. I don't like people like that. I know better.

Ashley also has found it annoying that I speak other languages. I wonder if it's because she thinks I do it to feel 'bigger' because it makes her feel smaller. If she actually knew me, she wouldn't feel that way. Because I understand her, I know when she brings up interests at times, it's too feel bigger and not because of joy. It's annoying that she sometimes projects like that. If I feel annoyed in a few days, I will talk to her about that. Because I communicate.

Sometimes I talk at length about these people to Molly and Laura. I hope they don't think less of me because of it. I don't really want to talk excessive shit about people, like they do. But sometimes, in explaining exactly the ways that they are negative, I am making a divide between them and me, which feels a little not self aware, because I literally hang out with them. I think sometimes the people you hang out with make statements about who you are, and I am not necessarily thrilled about what they are saying about me.

(Also, while I remember, I will reach out to Concordia this week to see what's up- I will also reach out to Marietta, check when I have Dublin and Brno, and see if that interferes with my schedule, buy the flight to Valencia and the one back to the United States for the Summer. I will choose some dates and make further considerations later. I will email my teachers about which lessons they want for Tuesday and Wednesday. I will run 4/5 miles tomorrow and be reasonable. Reach out to people, like Lily and Lorenz, to be normal.)

[brickellbabe]

What’s your secret? 8 life-changing steps!

A friend recently texted me “what’s yo secret”? I want to believe he was just missing the “u” because he was texting too fast, so we’ll let that go.

I looked at that text message and thought, why is he asking me this and what does he mean?

It took me less than a minute to realize, YES, there has been a MASSIVE shift in my life, and I guess people are noticing it. NICE!

So, what did I do?

One day I made the decision that I want to be better, I want to do better, and I know that I am meant for better. I deserve to have everything that I want, and I don’t want to struggle anymore by having a limited belief mindset that was holding me back from a life best lived.

The sad truth is, there are hundreds and thousands of people working jobs they hate, coming home to a spouse they can’t stand, and living unhealthy lifestyles due to their unhappiness with themselves and their lives.

I was one of them.

I was sending out proposals for new projects every day and getting turned down left and right. I was drinking at home by myself on the regular to suppress a feeling of disappointment and hopelessness that I had developed living this way. You see, my thoughts were in a negative state every day. I constantly worried about my finances, relationship, friendships, housing, bills, abilities, body, health, and everything else that comes along with human obligations that you could be worried about.

Living in Miami, you see so many people living their best lives during the day by walking their dogs, coming back from a workout with a juice in hand, enjoying lunch by the water, and glowing from sheer happiness. Noticing this, I said, I want that. I want to live life with ease, looking and feeling carefree and that’s when I began my new “change” journey. I had to have that happy glow and I was willing to do whatever it took to get it.

For 3 months straight, and still going strong, I have put into action a new routine that has significantly altered my mood, productivity, and shifted my energy in a way that can only be described as the LIGHT.

I went from DARK to LIGHT by doing, feeling, and promoting positivity within myself, as well as others.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the saying “A negative attitude will never lead to a good life.”

Well, it’s TRUE. Negative thinking will not get you anywhere but problems, drama, and disappointment among so many other horrible things that will only keep harming you in the long run.

So, what is my secret? How did I go from dark to light in 3 months and start living a happier and more fulfilled life? A PLAN!

I made a commitment to myself to stick to a positive routine no matter the breakdowns along the way. I knew it would be tough, but I would embrace all the emotions, breakthroughs, and major challenges that came my way that would make me the person that I am today.

Every day I…

1) Wake up with a feeling of happiness. YES, I do. Life is a gift. The minute you open your eyes in your bed you must say “Thank you” for being alive because some people don’t get the chance to wake up again so remember that and be grateful that you are still here, and that the universe has a plan for you.

2) Ask Alexa to play “positive morning beats” so I can listen to upbeat music while I make my bed and my coffee or tea, depending on how I feel that moment.

3) Go outside on my balcony and read my morning affirmations. I have links to 10+ sites and read the ones that I want to that day which can be anywhere from 30–100 positive message to myself which set me up for feeling good and excited for the day. I have created my own set of affirmations that I go back to and recite as well that you can find right here.

4) Read an interesting, uplifting, inspirational article, which I easily find on this site. The first hour of your day depicts the rest of your day so if you feed your mind with positive messages, motivational or thought-provoking blogs or videos, you begin to encourage your body to feel happiness, love, joy, and inspiration.

5) Make an effort to take a workout class whether it be Yoga, HIT, Boxing, Pilates, or Barre. Exercise releases endorphins which trigger a feeling of positivity in the body giving you a natural boost of happiness. Working out regularly not only gives me a sense of accomplishment but makes me feel good when I look in the mirror and see a fit body which is also a nice little boost of self-confidence. I like to work out 5 times a week unless my body feels soar and then I take it easy to let it heal before I rev things up again.

6) Do what makes me happy. I listen to my body and go with the flow. If it’s writing that will provide me fulfillment and give me a feeling of achievement that day, then that’s what I will focus on. If I’m not feeling my creative writing juices flowing, I do another task that will also be effective in providing me with satisfaction like meal prepping for myself. Cooking is a form of self-care and when I finish, I feel proud of what I have created. If you are creating something, you are still winning. Do not force things to happen, go with the flow, listen to your body, and try to live in a state of calm, relaxed, and collected. The universe doesn’t want you to stress or worry, it wants you to breathe, believe in yourself and trust in the process. Proceed your life according to your thoughts and feelings which should be in a state of gratitude and positivity.

For example, if you became anxious, worried, or a person that hurt you in the past got in your head for some reason, turn your attention to something else. Play a dance song, read an article, organize your closet, call a friend, eat some fruit, and just do anything that would make you think of something else. When you do this, you are training your mind to understand that those thoughts are not welcome. After time your mind will not go there for as long as it did before and you won’t get anxious, worried, or upset for long as you have strengthened your thoughts to adjust quickly. This is a skill, a VERY powerful skill and if you can sustain your mind to stay in a state of positivity throughout the day, you are opening the door to so many positive things to come your way, you won’t even believe it!

8) Surrendered to the universe and just flow in life. I stopped chasing new projects, new relationships, and new experiences. I simply let go of expectations, worry, and stress and started living life with ease. You know the saying “I don’t chase, I attract. What’s meant for me will simply find me.”, well that’s the motto that I live by now. I don’t force anything and stay patient on my journey. I take action towards doing things that make me happy every day because I believe that I am protected, and everything will work out for me because it always does. Sudden miracles happen when you know your purpose and keep fulfilling it every day. I get paid to exist, not to struggle, and for me to continue to be the LIGHT I need to feel like the light. The universe provides financially when you work on yourself and keep doing things for the greater good.

NOTE: Repetition is the key to successful living whether you want to believe it or not, that’s the secret.

One thing to keep in mind…

NOW, I want to be completely transparent about something.

I didn’t just create this routine and POOF I started living life powerfully. I wish that was the case, but there is more to it.

I had to put in A LOT of work on myself to get to where I am right now spiritually and mentally, and I found that our 3 weeks into month 1 when I had a breakdown. I was doing everything that I set out to do, but I did not address the issues of my past accordingly. I had sprung into “positive mode” without taking the time to feel all of the emotions of said break-up which were sadness, guilt, shame, and anger. I learned that to close chapters in your life you have to release and with that you have to face experiences, feelings, and traumatic moments which can hold you back from moving forward. I had to face the old version of myself and who she was meaning the habits that I had that no longer would serve the new version that I was trying to become.

This meant, I had to give up…

1) Drinking at home alone. I happy to report I have not bought a bottle of alcohol for my house in over 3 months and have substituted drinking a glass of wine for a glass of Kombucha. BOOM!

3) Saying YES to everything and everyone. I am a luxury, and I will treat myself as such. My time is valuable, and I will choose wisely who I spend it with and what.

5) Trying to surround myself with hot guys with big egos and be open to connecting with genuine, authentic, and thoughtful people who don’t have ulterior motives or ill intentions.

6) Thinking money is hard to get and I shouldn’t be spending it. The saying “the more you give, the more you receive” is a fact because you will keep the abundance of the universe circulating in your life. Also, anything that is of value in life only multiplies when it is given. That which doesn’t multiply through giving is neither worth giving nor worth receiving.

So, you see, along with the new routine, I also had to incorporate BIG changes that I made to excel to this new chapter in my life as a NEW 2.0 VERSION of myself.

PHEW…

I know that was a lot for me too and I hope my story and message helped you in some way.

To close this up and answer the question at hand in the simplest way…

What’s your secret?

I turned myself into the LIGHT and that is how I am living life POWERFULLY.

Mariana Weber

[comradegeorgemoved]

CONGRATS ON 1K SOL!!! u are one of the best and one of my favorite blogs in this community and u deserve it so much :] u post nothing but bangers and i really appreciate ur presence on my dash!! hope u have a good evening 💓💓

MAY 🥺 THANK YOU this is so sweet of you to say !! ur gifsets r a staple of this community and im being 100% serious when i say i don't think i would have stayed this long without them and your commentary <3 im happy we are mutuals :')

[theswaggyrat]

steve... hehe FOR THIS STORY YOUR FAVORITE SONG IS "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" by Whitney Houston. IDC WHAT U SAY. it's perfect. just imagine running away from vecna and to steve during the chorus of it. IN SLOW-MO. IT'S SO GOOD !!

Hear Me, Hold Me

Steve Harrington x Reader // Hear Me, Hold Me cw ~ fluff // angst // romance // vulgar language // spoilers for st4 !! // slightly edited tw ~ trauma/ptsd // violence plot - feelings yet to be requited, and so much time to confess to dear steve ! ah, well, maybe not when you're on the brink of death.

Unsettling whispers whizzed through the crevices of your ears, taunting you of a discarded past; a past so dreadful and terrible, even you could not survive it again. And yet here you stood, knees buckling and mind unhinged as you gazed forward.

Your shoulders slumped over your body, contorting your back in a deranged manner. It was as if your muscles were thriving against you, against your brain. The signals were displaced, pumping small twisted messages through your veins. Frankly, you could hardly manage a thought. Your brain was filled with a fuzz too thick to disperse with the simple wave of your hand.

Hell, where were you? Some shit excuse of a nightmare?

A pounding thrummed throughout your head, striking your eardrums with intense vigor. Fortunately, you managed to slap a hand against each ear, applying pressure to ease what you could of the pain. It was easy to decipher the origin of the sound, nothing more than the ringing of a clock.

A clock. No, it mustn't be.

But it was, wasn't it?

Steve mumbled a few scattered words in your ear, something about how grateful he was that he had you to help babysit the idiots with him. You chuckled quietly, playfully hitting his shoulder.

"Steve! Watch your tone, young man," you bantered. Steve visibly tensed, sucking his cheeks in. He hung his head back, an exasperated sigh escaping from the depths of his throat.

"C'mon, y/n," he huffed. " Don't you dare babysit me now." You laughed cheekily and Steve cracked a toothy grin.

"Ask nicely, Harrington."

And before he could speak a word, a mound of familiar faces piled into the back of the car. He spared you a pitiful glance before turning to face the kids that sat impatiently behind you. So began the babysitting, where the hair-obsessed man set in a few ground rules and tried hopelessly to change the course of Max's idea. Yet he had no luck as the girl sat stubbornly, arms crossed in an unchanging state.

You watched him with adoring eyes, which were only visible to you—and maybe Dustin, who snickered beneath his breath at the sight.

They had warned you, hadn't they? You knew damn well of your danger. Yet Max was your top priority, a friend who you loved unforntulatey too dearly for your own good. You had ignored the warnings to save someone who deserved it far more than you did. An unfavorable trait that had caught up to you; it would finally be the death of you.

With newfound knowledge of your location, your mind seemed to clear. All adrenaline in your body eased to a soft wave. You were afraid, but now could see clear enough to press forward.

The scene around you grew more visible with each reluctant step forward. Distraught shook your body to the core. At each and every nook and cranny of your vision stood a bloodied scene, one which had been buried many years ago.

"y/n! Have you seen your brother? I can't seem to find him!" A soft voice called from the distance. Your mother, cooking a great dinner for your family, sounded a whole lot worried. You, only a few days older than the young age of six, had been playing with his comics. Your brother was thirteen, and loved his comics dearly. But he was not there to keep you from building a road with the sleek books, so you continued forth without a care.

"y/n!" The voice called again. "Go find your brother for me, will you? Ice cream after dinner as a reward. Doesn't that sound delightful?" Your mother pled.

Eyes sparkling, you jumped to your feet and threw his comics to the ground. Screw the town, you wanted ice cream! And so you would get it. Determined, you wandered across the house in search of your brother.

Your scream could be heard as clear as day. Only a child, met with an unfortunate sight. A pale, unrecognizable body lay in the ashy mess of the bathtub. Smoke arose, slithering into your lungs. It attacked you with a hacking cough, causing your fragile body to fall onto the hard tiled ground. Heat radiated a few merciless feet away from your sickened being. A fire had brought your brother to his death.

All you could remember were his last pleas, and what he stuttered, rasped, and cried to you before his soul had been taken at long last.

"Help me, y/n. Oh God, you- you s-stupid child. This is all your fault. I wish you had n-nev-never been born."

It had all gone black after.

The same words threatened to tear you apart presently. Stumbling forward, you frantically shook your head and cried out a string of incoherent words. Tears brimmed at the edges of your lashes, exposing the wound to infected airs.

"y/n," a hollow voice bellowed. It rooted your feet into the ground, stealing the air from your lungs. You reached for your throat, clawing at the sides to release the invisible force from its grasp on you. "It's time."

A petrifying scream erupted from your throat. You shut your eyes tight, fighting against the roots that held you still. They loosened enough for an escape, which you took with great vitality. You were scrambling to find balance as you thrust yourself forward, body aching from the sudden amount of usage.

It was odd, the way the mythical creature toyed with you. One moment you were tripping over roots and rocks that randomly appeared in your path, and the next you were finding a new way to escape.

Or maybe, somehow, the creature was tired. Something had weakened it but yet it barreled through. And you were its food, its new source of power that it needed to revive what had been lost.

Red blurred your sight from all angles, creating a blossoming panic deep within your stomach. The raw disturbance the setting had placed upon your shoulders caused you to grow nauseous and dizzy. The rest of what you saw only further added to the feeling.

A ringing formulated in the depths of your ears. It was soft, but then louder. Louder and louder. It tickled you, and a gushing force of life raced through your veins. You gasped, throwing your body around as you searched for the sound.

It couldn’t be. It was… a song? No, not just any song. It was your favorite song. Damnit, Whitney Houston. At least you’d go out with a heavenly voice.

Right as the music sounded, it began to fade into a soft whisper. The creature appeared in front of you, concealing your vision. A smirk played on the tips of its unruly lips.

Somehow, from your peripheral, a hole into reality bursted through the fabric of Vecna’s home realm. Your eyes darted between the two, sweat trickling from the mess of your hair. Taking the moment while you could, you sucked in a breath of air from the gaps between your teeth and thrashed in a struggle beneath Vecna.

“Fuck you, asshole!” You shouted, thrusting your shoulder forward and releasing your mind from his grasp. You flew through the air, your arms flailing around as you traversed forward. Eyes fluttering open, you fixated your e/c orbs on the opening to your world and that beautiful voice spewing from above.

“Where do broken hearts go?”

From what you could see, your body lay squished against the roof of the car. The group sat around, eyes panicked and mouths moving wildly.

The crease between your brows and the tense of your muscles relaxed. It was freedom. You were going to survive.

The shine of the brunettes hair caught your eyes. His frightened face, twisted into an expression of hurt, was painful to see yet some how relieving. A soft smile found its way onto your face. Steve, man, he was something else. There was comfort in knowing he cared. You wouldn't give in now.

And with a final push, you sprinted into the break of dimensions, spiraling back into your physical body.

A mumbled "oof" left the sliver of your lips as you fell against a soft surface. Gasps sounded from all sides, and multiple voices spoke at once. The heavenly voice fell to deaf ears as the headphones fell from your head, bumping against the cool floor of the car.

"Guys, my head is pounding. Quiet down, will you?" You hissed, grabbing a hold of your pounding head. Opening your eyes, you met stares with many worried faces. The voices quieted, but continued their rambling. The soft surface you had landed upon was named none other than Steve, who watched you with a tremble in his lower lip.

His arm snaked around your waist, and his fingers hooked onto the cars door handle. He swung it open and pulled you into the daylight, away from the overwhelming of questioning.

With the shut of the door, Steve let you go and looked at you with a furious expression upon his brows. Concern slithered about his lips, downturning his usual smirk. Steve brought you further from the car, handling you tenderly as to not wound you further. His touch left a tingling sensation against your skin.

“You…” He started, running a hand across his face. He stuttered over his words, unable to formulate a sentence. Steve Harrington? Speechless? How odd! But, ah, what isn’t nowadays?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve scoffs, throwing his hands toward you in accusation. A shiver coursed through your spine, and you dug your teeth into your lower lip.

“I just-“ you grimaced, averting your eyes from his sparkling orbs. “I just got distracted with Max.” You paused, bringing a hand to anxiously scratch at the nape of your neck. “She means a lot to me, to all of us.”

Steve settled his hands on your shoulders, gently squeezing them. “And you mean a hell of a lot to me too, y/n. Here I thought you’d be babysitting me!” The man emitted a quiet whimper from the depths of his throat, riddled with a mellow playfulness.

You broke into a smile as he alleviated what he could of the tender topic. “Well, I would not have expected you to know my favorite song. Out of all people, hm?” You teased. Steve immediately quieted, rolling his eyes.

"It was just a guess," he shrugged, carding a hand through his locks. “Maybe an educated guess, but still a guess!”

Shrugging your arms around his muscular figure, you exhaustedly laid your head against his shoulder and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I can't even begin to explain how in love with you I am."

Oh. Shit.

It had slipped from your lips without a second thought, such an easy phrase to speak. Your heart suddenly sped, its thrum increasing with each passing second. A thrilling warmth found its way into bones, rattling them to the core with a pestering anxiety.

Steve's arms had fallen still against your figure. You dared not to peek at his face, fearful of what would come. A moment passed in silence, and the man began to shake in your arms. Something cool and damp pressed into your shoulder. A muffled sob made its way to your ears and you frowned.

"Steve? Are you crying?" You questioned, mouth agape in surprise. It couldn't be!

"I... uh... no,” He mumbled, pulling away to wipe his teary eyes. "You cannot just say that! Not after almost dying, y/n! Man, what is wrong with you people?"

Laughter bubbled up within your throat and escaped into the air. "Hey, there's no rejection I hear."

"No, of course not. I like you too. But what the hell? Wrong time, y/n. Wrong damn time!" He clasped a hand over his mouth.

In the heat of the moment, you intertwined your fingers with his, reassuring him of your presence and safety. “Hey. I’m right here, you big baby.”

Steve’s panic simmered into a manageable relaxation, and his fret wallowed into a sort of nothingness. “Yeah. You’re right here.”

From the car, the teenagers watched sourly.

"Ew, are they holding hands?"

"Shut up! No way."

"I almost died. She almost died. What is going on?"

And all you could do was watch Steve with those adoring eyes.

[pastxlscorp]

Bully! Mitsuya Fanfic (pt.3)

Chapter III: Abidance

✿ Word Count: 3.2k

✿ Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x reader

✿ Topics covered: (Eventual) Enemies to lovers trope, Hakkai POV, Y/N POV, Mitsuya POV, tsundere-Mitsuya, bully! Mitsuya, fem. reader, minor manga spoilers, slight angst

Awakening from his slumber, he found that the woman was no longer taking up space in his bed. He heaved a sigh of relief, only to, unfortunately, see a message from an unknown number on his phone saying “Text me when you’re free ;)” Ignoring the text, he found he had a message from Hakkai and remembered that he had abandoned him to sleep with that damn woman. However, Hakkai didn’t confront him about it, but instead acted as if nothing happened.

🗨️ Hakkai: Is the party still on for today? (Sent 2:00am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t feeling my best, I should have let you know. (Sent 10:00am)

🗨️ Hakkai: No hard feelings. Ya feeling better now Taka-chan? (Sent 10:01am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Not really, but it’ll pass. What’d you end up doing yesterday after I left? (Sent 10:02am)

Picking up on the subtle curiosity of Mitsuya’s text, it became clear to Hakkai that he did see him with you. As much as he admired Mitsuya, the anger building inside of him got the best of him. Therefore, in response, he chose a reply that he knew would get Mitsuya boiling.

🗨️ Hakkai: Caught Y/N outside of your class, had a wonderful lunch with her! She’s so nice, Taka-chan! Why are ya so mean to her? (Sent 10:04am)

Vigorous fingers typed in reply.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Why the fuck were you hanging around that slut? She’s just gonna try and get in your pants. What did she say to you? (Sent 10:04am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: Hakkai? Hello? (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Sorry Taka-chan, I’m back. She didn’t say nuthin bad, actually she was so sweet. She saw I was alone and we both had some tea together back at her place. Ended up sleeping over, I’m still here actually! (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Mitsuya: BACK AT HER PLACE? I told you, she’s just trying to get in your pants and you let her win! I can’t believe you let a whore like her win you over, Hakkai! Where the fuck is your brain? She probably was enjoying every minute of your sorry ass. (Sent 10:05am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Who said we slept together, Taka? (Sent 10:05am)

Silence enveloped the room.

🗨️ Mitsuya: Sorry… I just assumed that’s what you meant by sleeping over. (Sent 10:07am)

🗨️ Hakkai: Awh, it’s okie Taka, I know you were only looking out for me. (Sent 10:07am)

Absolutely, looking out for Hakkai. That’s what this was, that’s what he was doing. There couldn’t have been any other reason why he was so upset at the thought of you sleeping together. He was just being a good friend.

-----

┃ “Y/N!” the hoarse voice spoke to you, feeling the smooth cloth of his jacket pressed against your face as you bumped into him.

You looked up only to recognize Hakkai, kind thoughts flooding your mind, diminishing your anger stemming from your interaction with Mitsuya moments before. He grinned at you giddily, eyes relaxing any sort of tension left in your body. You slowly began to forget why you were mad and allowed yourself to indulge in his presence.

┃ “Good afternoon Hakkai! Waiting for Mitsuya?”

┃ “Mhm, you takin’ Designer 101 too, right?”

┃ “Yup! How come you aren’t taking it? You’re very fashionable, y’know?”

┃ “You’re too kind,” He giggled, his grin beginning to somehow grow wider on his cheeks as he raised his hand to pat your head.

┃ “I’m serious! Why don’t you join the class? It’s not too late, the second semester is about to start!” You eagerly pushed on, rejoicing in the positive energy he emitted.

┃ “ ‘m not really into making clothes, just showing them off...” He let out a hefty chuckle before getting cut off by you.

┃ “You don’t have to be good at making them! Some students choose to learn how to stylize different clothing and patterns, it’s all about the latest trends.”

┃ “Really?” He went silent for a few moments, smile morphing into a straight line as he contemplated your words carefully. Not to fret, as his smile quickly returned as he said: “Well then, might have to ask Taka-chan to help me sign up!”

You both shared a laugh and began to discuss the enrollment process in order for Hakkai to join the class-- if he were to drop another class, what class would he drop, or would he simply add it to his current schedule? While your conversation was nothing more than an innocent developing friendship, unbeknownst to you, Mitsuya had witnessed it all and declared it once more another betrayal. You were such a slut, flirting with anyone and everyone. Irrationality began to consume him-- instead of seeing your interaction with Hakkai for what it truly was, a genuine developing friendship, his brain refused to comprehend your behavior with other men. He never got to the level of comfortability you had with Takemichi, and he had lost the sense of ease you had with him to Hakkai and god, god did it piss him off. Unfortunately for that kohai, she was just another doll for him to play with just until he could get your attention again. Even a single drop of your attention, your attachment, it was enough to drive him for weeks just to be able to be near you again. Your kind words squeezing his heart tighter and tighter the more you spoke, your laughter ringing in his ears at a corny joke he told you during club meetings, it enveloped him into infatuation which later developed into a larger feeling. Such a large feeling over the progressing months that when he began bullying you, when your lack of presence and absences during meetings began to grow, an emptiness began to root in his heart, waiting for you to touch it once more and let it grow.

He could go on and on listing things about you-- the way he loved your sense of fashion, the way he loved your sense of humor, your compassion to helping others, your intellect that allowed you to read everyone like a book, everyone except him. Why couldn’t you see that he didn’t hate you? Oh, but that jealousy, the first time he’d admit that it was jealousy, it gripped him so tightly around his neck that it felt suffocating. Every shove, every clasp of your hand, your wrist, your chain, your chain, it made his heart shutter seeing that dead watery look in your eye, but your attention was like a drug that he just had to keep getting more of. It would never be enough to satisfy him, not until he could call you his and you would call him yours. He pitied using them, he really did, but he needed someone to satiate his needs. He was a womanizer, after all-- if one left he would just charm another into his bed. They all had high respect for Mitsuya, his intellect, his charm, his skill, and his kindness. Yet no matter how hard he tried, all those women, they were never you and they could never try and be you. He found that he no longer sought sex for his own pleasure anymore, but for your own, pretending so desperately that the one trembling out of pleasure beneath him was you. Imagining, no, fantasizing that he was making you happy and leaving you satisfied.

Upon seeing your interaction, he quickly left with his kohai for their own exchange, leaving Hakkai unfortunately confused as he waved you goodbye, patiently waiting for his friend to meet him. You were still on campus because you had taken additional extracurricular activities to build up your transcript to make up for your absences in Mitsuya’s Home-economics club. At first, you attempted to make it through the club meetings but he made every single one as unbearable as possible. The second semester, could it come any sooner? Hakkai, too focused on organizing his schedule with you previously, had failed to notice Mitsuya leaving with a woman. He waited, he waited, and he waited, coming to a good hour until he realized Mitsuya wouldn’t have left him waiting for this long without a heads up. He looked at his phone, expecting some sort of contact-- a phone call, a message, anything. All that awaited him was several unread messages from group chats and friends, none of them from Taka-chan. He sighed, placing his phone away just as he noticed your presence once more, planting a fake smile on his face to disguise his obvious disappointment. Unfortunately for him, his smile only instantly alerted you something was wrong.

┃ “Hakkai? Why are you still here, weren’t you supposed to be meeting Mitsuya?”

┃ His phony smile stood in place as tears began to fill his eyes. He croaked: “T-taka-chan left me. Do you think he’s mad at me for sumthin’, Y/N? I don’t ‘member doin’ anything.”

You instantly rushed over to comfort him, witnessing what appeared to be an intimidating giant become undone into a fragile teddy bear at the thought he had upset his best friend. Your disdain only kept growing for Mitsuya, first it was his lack of maturity during class, and now he had abandoned his best friend for whatever reason it was. Hakkai was a sweetheart, you couldn’t imagine what he may have done to upset someone. Therefore, you came to the conclusion Mitsuya had thrown a tantrum of sorts and took it out on him. It irked you, however, Mitsuya always remained respectful and loving to his best friend in addition to Yasuda-san, so you couldn’t help but raise your brow wondering what got him so upset for him to entirely ditch his friend. Pushing those thoughts aside, you placed all of your focus on bringing a smile back to Hakkai’s face, gently rubbing his back and placing your forehead against his temple as he crouched over in defeat. You desperately attempted to think of anything to cheer him up.

┃ “Ah, how about some tea?”

┃ “...Tea?”

┃ “Listen, I have absolutely no idea what you like and I want to calm you down so-”

┃ “Tea sounds good.” He said softly, a small smile returning to his face.

You escorted Hakkai comfortably back to your dorm, located on the east wing of the campus. Women and men could go to each other’s dorms, they just had gender-separated wings because it was just easier to contain the chaos if everyone was allowed to sleep with their girlfriend or boyfriend. The boys had their dormitory on the west side, thus you noticeably got some glances as you strolled with Hakkai. Mitsuya was always surrounded by Hakkai and Yasuda-san, so obviously most of your classmates were shocked to see you hanging out with his right-hand man. Were you both sleeping together? Ooh what a scandal (not). Although you didn’t mind the glanes too much, Hakkai on the other hand made sure to shoot down them all with a nasty side glare, quickly causing them to turn their cheek. It was a cute sight after all, seeing how you subconsciously had reached for his hand and began to rub gentle circles on it in order to ease him, which succeeded in doing so. Once you arrived at your dorm, you opened the door and gave him a show of jazz hands as you toured him around your dorm. Your dorm wasn’t the largest compared to his and Mitsuya’s dorm, which made him realize the privilege of not having a financially aided dorm. Your queen bed comfortably rested on the right side of the room, covered with a curtain and fairy lights on the wall behind it. Your desk was not too far away, maybe a good 15 feet across your bed, not too messy but not too neat. It was obvious you were working on something, as there were papers still out and scattered but the rest of the desk had the pens, pencils, and stapled papers sorted in a clean pile. Your pinboard was half-covered with your calendar, cluttered with small sticker reminders while the other half was your schedule, nicely decorated with washi tape sticking it to the board. Next to your bed was a wooden closet and you led him into the cramped kitchen that made him gasp, seeing how you make such a tight space so comfortable and presentable. You had a small glass coffee table in the middle, a small fridge cramped in the kitchen underneath a cupboard and next to a cabinet holding the sink on top. Next to that was a stove with a microwave on top, both color-coordinated black, contrasting the white of the room. You guided him over to the table and motioned for him to sit and he obediently did. Walking over to the countertop holding an old-school kettle, you used it to strain and brew the tea. Gleefully, you dropped a few ice cubes in his glass and carefully poured his tea and then your own, sitting across from him at the table. He took a sip of the tea you had placed in front of him, smiling not at the delightful taste but the awaiting face you had fixated, putting your hands under your chin waiting for a response.

┃ “This tea is delightful, thank you Y/N.” He said warmly and you basked in his praise.

┃ “Ah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the staring. I don’t… really get visitors. It’s nice to have someone over.” You replied, your face beginning to glow a light pink as your lips formed into a slight frown, embarrassed to admit how you had no friends.

┃ “Mm, I should be the one thankin’ you,” The softness in his voice made your crouched posture fix itself as you looked up to him. “You made me sum tea, opened me to your home, all ‘cuz I was sad and overthinkin’. You ain’t hafta do that, but you did anyway. I appreciate ya!” His iconic grin was now back where it belonged as his eyes glazed over you in pure adoration. You smiled in return, both returning to take a sip of your tea.

Hours passed and he was still at your house, you both gossiping and talking like old friends. You discussed your classmates, praising them and disapproving of the behavior of others. He began to confide in you about what he witnessed during his time as the second-division’s vice captain. You eagerly listened to him as he described to you his tales with his brother and his amazing sister Yuzuha, anything and everything was up for debate. At least, almost everything. Despite being the main reason he was so upset, you and Hakkai had not discussed Mitsuya’s treatment of you. He was mentioned in a few gang stories, but it seemed as if Hakkai was opting out of speaking about him out of respect for you. However, his head began to slump, implying he was tired. You grabbed your phone, which had been placed upside down on the coffee table, and looked at the time and saw it was well past midnight. You leaned over to rub Hakkai’s shoulder and you gasped when his head turned back upright, alert as if he just remembered something. Drunk on drowsiness, he began to speak:

┃ “Mmh, y’know Mitsuya used to talk about you a lot. Always went on about this pretty girl who was awfully sweet, really smart…” He trailed off, fighting off the sleep that clung desperately to his eyelids. “He never gave me a name but after club meetings when I woulds wait for him, he would tell me about his conversations. I always saw him looking at ya. What did ya do to make him so pissed off?” Although he had no malicious-intent in his questioning, it was enough to cause goosebumps all over your body.

┃ “I didn’t do anything, ‘kai. Really, nothing different happened that day. All of the sudden, the next day during his club he humiliated me in front of everyone and then made me stay after hours to yell at me even more.” You went silent for a moment, before your curiosity got the best of you and you questioned: “He used to talk about me? Are you sure?”

┃ Ignoring your question, he replied to your initial response. “You didn’t do anythin’ different at all that day?”

┃ You contemplated his question carefully, before realizing the one event that was an outlier to the rest. “I was waiting for my friend outside campus gates that day. He offered to wait with me but I insisted he didn’t, mainly because my friend had said Mitsuya wasn’t very fond of him so it was better if he didn’t see him.”

┃ “Who’s the friend?”

┃ “Hanagaki Takemichi.”

┃ The tired man in front of you took a full minute to process your sentence before bursting out and crying of laughter a few moments later. You looked at him, pure confusion coating your body as he continued to sob. Finally, after a few minutes, he wiped his eyes and sat back up, gleaming at you. “Well that’s your problem, Mitsuya fucking hates Takemichy. Probably spied on ya because he was worried, saw Takemichy, and boom-- he got jealous AHAHA!” He went back to crying of laughter, leaving you a few moments to yourself to process his words.

It was embarrassing to admit how Hakkai was half-asleep in front of you and somehow managed to put together your puzzle of confusion together months after said incident had happened, in under 20 minutes. However, you couldn’t find yourself disagreeing with his theory. Suddenly, Hakkai stopped laughing and looked up at you, all serious.

┃ “Now wait… that’s not funny! He’s been pushing ya around all the time just cuz he’s jealous of you being with other guys?! That’s fucked up! ‘M gonna beat his ass, Y/N! Just for you!”

You now began laughing, taking Hakkai’s hand in yours over the glass countertop and tapping it gently.

┃ “That won’t be necessary, ‘kai. How about we come up with a solution?”

┃ “My solution is beating his a-”

┃ “A non-physical solution.”

┃ He went silent for a few moments, looking away from you to the window to think. You could tell he thought of something when a smirk began to plaster itself on his face. “How about we test our theory?”

┃ “Elaborate.”

┃ “If that pain in my ass is done with whatever it is he’s doing, there was supposta be a party tomorrow. Not at our dorm, but our friend’s. You might have heard of him, Manjiro Sano?”

You responded with silence.

┃ “Mikey. The Invincible Mikey.”

┃ “Not ringing any bells.”

┃ “Brother of Emma Sano. Brother of Izana.”

┃ “Emma Sano is so nice!”

┃ “Captain of the Tokyo Manji Gang, Y/N.”

┃ “Oh.”

┃ “Point is, he’s having a party tomorrow. We could get some revenge, I bring you as my date~”

┃ “Won’t that make him angri-

┃ “That’s what revenge is.”

┃ “Why don’t I just talk with him?”

┃ “Has he tried talking to you?”

┃ “...no.”

┃ “I rest my case.”

Silence enveloped the room once more. It wasn’t an awkward silence, no, it was quite a comfortable silence actually as he patiently awaited your response and allowed you to process and think.

┃ “When is the party exactly?”

✿ tags: @haiq-trash @blackmysticalsimp @the2ndl @bren-heron @delicatejudgecopcowboy @skiwalkers

✿ a.n. // First of all, thank you so much for 102 followers <3 I appreciate the support being given to me! I would like to address one thing, however, please don't rush me to write! I've gotten very kind messages of support but others have been demanding more of me and it's important to remember that I have classes, chores, a social life, and many other things happening. I love writing but rushing me makes it unenjoyable and it won't be my best work. My goal for this ongoing fanfic is to post weekly. Just a little ted-talk there, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter though! I had such a fun time writing it :)

[nctsjiho]

Your Fault

warnings: strong language, consumption of alchol, mention of death without actual death, very much angst

era: July 7th 2021

❀ NCT 127's 5th anniversary isn't a day to celebrate and be happy for everyone

To Doyoung:

“Happy 5th anniversary oppa!”

“I hope you and the boys are having a great time <3”

JiHo stared at her phone intently waiting for the “sent” at the bottom of her screen to turn into “read”. She had been staring at her phone like that for nearly an hour, yet nothing changed. The girl knew that the boys were busy, but somewhere she hoped that she’d hear from them. Besides the short “wished you could be with us” message she had received the evening before from Taeyong she hadn’t heard from anyone else. Of course JiHo was aware that the boys were busy, but was it a crime to feel left out and maybe want a phone call or something more than a “wished you could be with us” from anyone?

And so JiHo continued to stare at her phone, everything on the small screen getting progressively more blurry as time went on. Her eyes were straining, one almost pressed shut, the other slowly going cross-side. Her right hand, which wasn’t holding the phone, reached out to the glass bottle on her desk. A quick shake letting her know it was empty. So she reached for the other one, opening it skilfully with one hand – like she did with the other two bottles now empty on her desk – and bringing it up to her lips. “Must be nice hm~ Being an idol or whatever…”

“I’m glad you came over.” Sihyun, JiHo’s Esteem manager that lives with her, said as she grabbed the boy’s coat off his shoulders. The piece of clothing, along with his hair, slightly damp caused by the light drizzle outside. “JiHo’s been a bit sensitive and doesn’t let me in her room. She doesn’t want to talk to me at all.” Jaemin watched the woman’s face full of worry. He gave her a small reassuring smile and then glanced at the door leading to JiHo’s room. “I’ll try to talk to her.” Thanking Jaemin, Sihyun then excused herself, telling him she had to run some late night errands.

Not knowing what was happening behind the closed door of the bedroom, Jaemin knocked a few times. “Unnie~ Just leave me- leave me alone.” JiHo hiccupped between her words, her speech sounding a bit slurred. She had been drinking? JiHo?

Without a second thought Jaemin pushed the door open. A jumbled mess of protests escaped JiHo’s lips, but she froze in her chair as soon as her eyes locked with Jaemin. “What… are you doing here?” She muttered to the best of her abilities. “Coming to check up on you.” He neared the girl and poked at the bottles and the mess on her desk. “Clearly you need it.” His tone sounded very much disappointed and for a split second JiHo felt her heart ache, but she quickly turned defensive. “I do not!”

A sigh escaped deep from Jaemin’s chest and he pulled JiHo to sit on the edge of her bed next to him. “Since when do you drink?” It was quiet for a bit. JiHo looked at the bottle of the alcoholic beverage in her hand, swirling it around by circling her wrist and then started to giggle to herself. “A new hobby?” She turned to Jaemin, a big smile on her lips – however Jaemin could see the sadness behind it easily. “It’s fun. Feeling… Nothing! I can barely feel my… my lips.” Her body swayed from side to side prompting Jaemin to grab her by her shoulders and hold her in place. “It’s fun until you wake up with a hangover tomorrow.” He scoffed. “Can’t get a hangover if I don’t sleep.” She said, before turning to her desk. She then pointed at the box of another 9 bottles of alcohol next to it on the floor. “Or if I don’t stop drinking.” She grinned.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?” Jaemin’s patience ran dry quickly. He just felt so furious seeing how badly JiHo was treating her own body. She never drank and now she was planning to drink 12 bottles of alcohol? Drinking herself straight into the hospital, and if it weren’t for Jaemin being here, maybe straight into her own grave. “This is strong alcohol! For all I know you can’t even handle it, so what made you decide to drink now huh?” He yelled, anger only rising watching the girl just stare at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Those same eyes turned to look at her laptop, located on the desk she sat at earlier. The NCT 127 online fanmeeting being streamed, muted.

Of course Jaemin knew it was NCT 127’s 5th anniversary, he knew it must’ve affected JiHo in some way, even if she kept insisting she was going to be fine and was happy for the boys. She even said that she wasn’t “part of the group since debut, so it wouldn’t even be my 5th anniversary” and everyone just had to nod and smile.

“Is that a reason to potentially drink yourself to death?” Jaemin poked her side – maybe a bit too harsh – to gain her attention again; she seemed to be zoning out every few seconds. “What else was I supposed to do? I’m tired of keeping things in.” She sneered at him and it was almost as if she didn’t drink anything. She sounded much more coherent than just a minute earlier. “Aren’t you doing just that though? Drinking on your own. Not letting Sihyun noona in? We keep telling you to talk to us, yet all you do is keep things in. The hyungs even took you out to do stuff and get your mind off things yet you get home and do the thing you always do.”

JiHo felt every drop of alcohol leave her system as she heard the somewhat condescending tone in her friend’s voice. “What the fuck? So this is my fault-“ “Kinda, yes! You just sit here feeling sorry for yourself while everyone is worried over you! We’re your friends for a reason JiHo. There are so many people who care for you, just start fucking talking when you feel down like this.”

The blood inside of JiHo’s veins started to boil and at the same time she felt tears pricking behind her eyes. “You think it’s that easy? What am I supposed to say? That I feel upset that I can’t be with 127 now? Okay. Then what about it? Me telling you this won’t change shit!” “At least you should stop lying and stop telling everyone you’re fine when you’re not! Why do you continue keeping things a secret from everyone?” Both JiHo and Jaemin’s chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. “But I guess you’re good at that anyway.” He added in a mumble.

Once the words registered in JiHo’s mind, the bottle that started to hover towards her lips was quickly forgotten. “What do you mean by that?” Jaemin just shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze away from JiHo. “Jaemin? What do-“ “You were supposed to debut in 2016 with NCT U?” JiHo’s eyes widened and she pushed herself to stand up. “How’d you know-“ “Then they asked you to debut in 127? Also with us… In Dream?” “How do you know?” Was the only thing JiHo could say.

“Does it matter?” Jaemin yelled, standing up as well. “Why do you continue to keep secrets from us? Do you not trust us? Is that why you sit here alone? Drinking and crying alone.” The boy watched as JiHo stood in front of him wordlessly. He could see how his words were affecting her, but he wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to let JiHo know how frustrating things were for him and his friends. He was well aware of how JiHo had her own worries and hardships, but if she never wanted to confide in anyone, then he was allowed to be mad right?

The only sound filling the room was both of their ragged breathing and the occasional shift from one foot to the other. The silence was almost deafening, a ringing shooting up JiHo’s clouded mind making her feel like she was going to lose it any second now. Her friend sending hurtful glares her way didn’t help ease the growing pain either.

“You’re right. I could’ve debuted in 2016, what about it?” JiHo whispered, afraid that her talking too loud would send surges of pain into her brain. “Why did you hide it from us? Why didn’t you say yes back then?” Jaemin interrogated her. “There was no reason to tell you if it didn’t happen. I didn’t debut so telling you I could’ve wouldn’t change a thing. I’m not in Dream, I didn’t debut in U and clearly now, I’m not in 127 either. Jaemin… It doesn’t matter anymore…” JiHo’s voice stayed as calm as possible.

“How long have you known Jaemin?” JiHo spoke up again as Jaemin didn’t say anything. She felt the tension grow exponentially, the pressure on her body and more noticeably her head increasing and bothering her more as well. “I heard it during that last meeting you had with Yebin noona and Mister Lee Soo Man…” JiHo let out a small chuckle, shaking her head in disbelief. “I guess we’re eavesdropping and keeping secrets from me as well.”

She brought the glass bottle still in her hands to her lips, throwing her head back, to down as much of the liquid as possible. Before she could finish it all in one go, Jaemin gripped the bottle and pulled it away from her. “It’s not the same, JiHo!”

The liquid rushed from between JiHo’s lips, making a wet patch on her grey sweatpants. She could feel her throat and lungs burning as she coughed, caused by the alcohol going down her windpipe instead.

Jaemin watched her with concern painting his features, his hand slowly caressing her back hoping it would ease her violent coughs. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He whispered and JiHo gave him a small nod as her body calmed down.

The two 00 liners stayed like that for a while, with Jaemin’s eyes burning at the back of JiHo’s downturned head. Even after JiHo’s body stopped shaking violently, Jaemin’s concern continued to grow. It was only when he noticed the drops, which only could be tears, fall onto her sweatpants and create even more wet spots, that he decided to step in.

Jaemin’s hand securely gripped JiHo’s shoulder and he pulled her up to face him. A gasp left the boy’s mouth as he watched large tears spill from his friend’s eyes. “Ji…” It proved incredibly difficult to speak when he was faced with a situation he wasn’t ready to deal with. Maybe Jaemin shouldn’t have confronted her the way he did. Maybe acting like everything was fine wouldn’t have caused him to witness JiHo at possibly the worst she has felt.

It became a full minute of Jaemin staring into JiHo’s pain- and tear-filled eyes, feeling like he could drown in them himself, before a loud pained sob brought him to reality. The sudden jolt of JiHo’s body forward made Jaemin act quickly and pulled the girl into his chest. His hand, just as quickly, found its way into JiHo’s slightly tangled hair.

“I’m… sor- so sorry.” JiHo sobbed into his chest, tears soaking through even the thicker material of the boy’s jumper. Jaemin could feel his sweater start to stick against his chest, yet what felt more uncomfortable than the damp piece of clothing was the feeling of JiHo’s body shaking in his hold.

As best as he could, Jaemin tried to soothe JiHo. Almost like taking care of a crying toddler, he swayed the girl from side to side. His lips were pressed against the shell of JiHo’s ear as Jaemin whispered affirmations into her skin. “Don’t apologise... Stop apologising.”

“I’m only bringing the team down-” “Shh JiHo. Stop that.” He told her, as his fingers continued to comb through her hair, slowly and carefully detangling it along the way. JiHo pressed her eyes tighter as even more tears spilled from her cheeks and pushed herself closer into Jaemin’s grasp.

Mouth agape, a sob that was building up in his own chest was threatening to fall from Jaemin’s own lips. “You don’t deserve any of this JiHo, you only deserve the best.” JiHo only shook her head, but didn’t dare to speak again. “You do... You really do.”

The night in the capital of South-Korea was never really that dark. Lights always seemed to find their way past the pulled back blinds of any building that wasn’t directly blocked by another one due to bad city planning. So even during the darkest time of day, even when all the lights inside have been dimmed, somehow, it was still light enough to see inside.

So when Jaemin pulled back to look at JiHo’s face, her eyes still tightly pressed shut - which pained him immensely - Jaemin could see the light reflecting off of her wet cheeks.

Feeling two hands being placed on her burning cheeks, JiHo finally decided to open her eyes again. A few more tears rolled over her cheeks onto Jaemin’s thumbs, but luckily no new ones seemed to form. “I’m sorry for everything, all this drama. It’s my fault.” Jaemin shook his head and pulled the girl back, this time to hide his own tears that were starting to form. “Please stop apologising, it’s not your fault.”

“But-” JiHo sighed, her arms found their way around Jaemin’s small waist. “I hate that it’s always about me. I don’t want to be this cliche ‘emotional girl with so many problems and everyone has to pay attention to her problems’. I don’t want that. I don’t want to burden you guys with that, but I also don’t want that kind of attention. I know people already hate me for being in a boy’s group. I don’t want my stupid problems to be the only thing that people assiociate me with NCT.”

“Your problems are not stupid JiHo. And though I understand what you’re saying, I think it’s worse to keep it in. If anything, keeping it in just makes us worry about you more and may get you more attention. JiHo I know things suck right now, and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling with everything going on right now, but… Please just talk to us when things are bothering you. We all love you.”

At those last words JiHo loudly sniffled back some stray tears. She pressed herself into Jaemin’s warm embrace and softly nodded her head. “From now on I will. I promise. And…” JiHo looked up at Jaemin, sending him a small smile that he gratefully reciprocated. “I love you guys too. You’re all I have here and that’s enough to make me stay.”

Jaemin’s hand resumed with his previous ministrations. A deep sigh left his lips as he rested his head atop of JiHo’s. “Everything will be just fine.” Jaemin pressed a kiss against JiHo’s hair. “As long as we stay together everything will be just fine.”

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

[ff-imagines]

uhm this is embarrassing thing to request but,,,,,,, how bout u know,,,,,, nsfw alphabet/scenario/hcs with blobster. 👁️👄👁️. I'm sorry.

Boston lobster: nsfw alphabet

Minors dni xoxo

A - aftercare

Admittedly kinda sloppy, it doesn’t occur to him that he should probably check up on you till he’s like “oh shit humans need water” and he suddenly shoots up to grab some and come back to you lmao

If you explicitly ask you get no back talk from him, he just carries you where you need to be and makes sure you’re feeling alright.

Will be endlessly prideful if u say you can’t walk, express your soreness at your sanities risk bc he’ll bring it up for ages

B- body parts

Oh he’s got no shame to tell you he loves your ass and thighs. The type to walk by you and give you a tap on the ass while smirking to himself. Doesn't matter how much or how little you've got he’ll still ask at least once if he can fuck your thighs lmao

Does his height count? He loves how he towers over most humans and food souls alike, chances are he’s probably taller than you, and he really likes that. Sulks a bit if you’re actually taller than him lmao.

They aren’t his favourite part of him but I gotta talk about the antennae. They’re weirdly sensitive, pulling him makes him squeak, which ends with him chasing you or with him chasing you, take your pick. When he catches you he makes it his goal to find a weirdly sensitive part of your body and to tease that spot endlessly. Tickle fight ensues but it’s more like you’re suffering while he’s maniacally laughing above you.

C - cum

It’s thick as fuck and very salty, rip lmao

He likes to cum inside or on your thighs, look they’re very squishy and nice ok he can’t help it </3

He’s also obsessed with not only making you cum, but just… your cum. Amab or afab readers, he will delight in making you watch him swallow. Would also bring his hand up to make you taste yourself, grinning the whole damn way.

D - dirty secret

He’s really affected by scents. If you have a signature perfume or cologne you wear all the time it can make him unbearably horny, since the smell lingers on his sheets and on his clothes long after you’re gone.

E - experience

A fair amount, out of curiosity. Not too many times as he’s spent a lot of years in total isolation. His curiosity is a more recent development, he finds he likes the feeling but something is just missing from his hookups. Then he meets you and is like “ohhhh a relationship is what it was, damn.” Once he realizes that, and even a little bit before when he first starts noticing his internal unease, the hookups stop so he can figure out how to swallow his pride and try and ask a human out lmao

F - favorite position

He loves doggy style because it’s just so so easy to control you that way. He loves to pull you back by your arms, spearing inside you at a punishing pace.

He also would love if you were flexible enough to push into a mating press, getting right next to your ear, whispering about how close he is.

G - goofy

Surprisingly, yea! He’s actually pretty good at making fun of himself, he just doesn’t do it often and doesn’t like it when someone he’s not close to does it. He gives little teases here and there, it eases tension quite a lot.

H- hair

He doesn’t shave for shit lmao. Intense happy trail, intense amount of body hair over all, he actually prefers it that way.

He keeps the same energy with your body hair and will come out and tell you he kinda likes it if you don’t shave. Ultimately he doesn’t think on it too hard, it doesn’t bother him in the end, whatever you want, he wants too!

I- intimacy

He’s not so good at being truly intimate, it’s just not something he’s used to being. If you ever, by some miracle, convince him to let you top him, he’s actually a lot softer and it’s easier to let his feelings speak for him. He also discovers he likes getting dommed a lot but he won’t tell you that lmao

J- jerk off

Not too often, he’s either super busy or he could just find you and solve the problem in an even more satisfying way.

If he ever can’t, expect him to grab one of your shirts to press to his nose as he fists his cock, the feeling of being surrounded by you is enough to help him finish when he desperately needs it.

K- Kinks

Well, the scent thing ofc.

He’s really into risky sex, a true exhibitionist. He’s hot, you’re hot, who wouldn’t want to see you both put on a show? If it gets it into their heads that no matter how bad they want you, you belong to him, your place is right here, getting split apart on his cock, he’ll make sure the message gets across.

Huge breeding kink. Hates the idea of kids but really likes the idea of claiming your insides. He’d love to push you into the mattress and release as deep as he can go.

He’s into humiliation as well, let him tease you while calling you his sweet little whore, he'll make it worth your while.

He’d love if you let him tie you up, he’d probably get into doing fancy designs that accentuates your body in the best way. A pretty rope to tie up and dick down a pretty s/o.

Also I can’t look at his skin where he’s got that suit on and not know he’s got a daddy kink, I just can’t. He doesn’t care for anything other than the title, it’s more about power than anything else. Call him daddy in public and watch how fast you get taken to a more private area. Or, maybe a less than private area, if you’d let him.

He’s got a thing for size difference as well, he loves to loom over you, even if he isn’t actually bigger than you.

L- location

Anywhere, anytime. He’s a prideful bastard, he’ll show off his ability to get you drunk off his cock any way he can. Not only isn’t there a spot in your house he hasn’t fucked you on, there probably isn’t a place on your street either.

M- motivation

What really gets him going is seeing you when you're at your most confident. If you come to him beaming about winning an award, wearing an outfit you feel great in, even if you just say something cocky, it just makes him so proud and eager to share that confidence with you. He doesn’t want to break you down, he wants to prop you up! Tell him about how good you feel, he’ll make you feel even better <3

N- no

As much as he likes to show you off, he doesn’t actually like the thought of a third party joining in. He might be swayed if it’s someone he really trusts. He also doesn't like receiving humiliation, he’s much too prideful lmao

O- oral

Please suck him off, he’ll be kinda rough with you but he’ll be nicer if you ask. He prefers to be mean though lmao. He likes ordering you around on what to do when you’ve got his dick in your mouth, his words get more incoherent the closer he is, though.

He’s just as eager to give you head too, he treats you like a whole 7 course meal. He loves biting around your thighs before ever touching where you're desperate for him to.

P- pace

Oh he’s punishingly hard. Loves to have a fast steady pace then stop as deep as he can and roll his hips a bit to make sure you feel just how deep his dick is inside you.

There are rare days when he’s feeling soft, those days he’s slow and methodical, gripping into your hips to make sure you can’t wiggle to increase your own pleasure, he wants you to savour the high he gives you.

Q- quickies

Well, why not! So what if you’re in an alleyway near a busy street, and anyone can walk by and see you getting pounded? You’re feeling heated aren’t you? Don't kid yourself, just turn around and let him take care of you.

R- risk

He lives for it. If you’d let him he’d bounce you on his cock in a plainly public place, like a subway car.

It’s a big fantasy of his for someone who absolutely pines for you to flirt just a little too hard, you coming to him and letting him fuck your right in front of them. It fuels his pride beyond belief to show you off.

S- stamina

His refractory time is fairly low. Even if he...can? doesn't really mean he wants to. He prefers either one drawn out, long round where you’ve both been edged to the point of desperation, or a few quick rounds throughout the day.

T- toys

At first they kinda hurt his pride but then he’s like “wait I can strap them on a vibrator and just sit back and watch” and then he’s totally on board lmao.

Forcing you to sit on a chair with a vibrator he had the remote to, keeping you on the edge and smirking while you beg and snivel, having no actual plans to give into your pleading.

U- unfair

Oh fuck yea, strap in babes.

He loves loves to edge the fuck out of you, he’d drag it out for hours if you’d let him. Even better if he can tie you down so you can’t squirm away from what he’s giving you.

Overstimulation is just as exciting to him, but he actually loves it more on himself. Sometimes he’ll overstimulate himself on purpose by still continuing to buck into you even after he’s already cum, determined to chase a second high no matter how painful it feels.

V- volume

Loud groans, and he won’t stop talking. Loves to ask you questions when you’re clearly way too blissed out to answer in any sort of coherent way.

He gets a lot louder near his release, he loves to bite into your shoulder to try and muffle himself. If he decides to be bold and let you hear him, he grabs your jaw and brings his face right next to your ear. What a show off.

W- wild card

He kidnaps small items that remind him of you, not just things that smell like you. That one earring you always wear, a glove, a necklace, picks flowers that remind him of you for whatever reason, he might even go out of his way to buy things that remind him of you, keep them to himself for a while, then give it to you when he’s sure it smells enough like him. He gives your stuff back… eventually.

X- X Ray

Oh please… he spits, sweats, and bleeds big dick energy. I refuse to believe his dick isn’t big enough to make you nervous. Would have you sit on his lap and track a finger up your stomach to measure how deep his cock can go.

Y- yearning

He’s pretty likely to mold to your sexual drive. However often you need him, he’s at your beck and call. He likes to keep it closer to 2-3 times a week if he can.

Z- zzz

He doesn’t sleep all that easily at all, but it gets a little easier when he’s got you in his arms. Prefers to be big spoon, and as much as he hates getting overheated, he just can’t will himself to let go of you. It’s ironically one of the most peaceful sleeps he’s ever had.

[milkiane]

so i am feeling incredibly emotional rn so, here’s an appreciation post for my favorite people. (this have been in my drafts for three weeks now) -- so why not post this along with my sleepover <3 sleepover bash

@chokemepansy

need i say more? no— but i will anyway. asteria, my mean cheerleader girlfriend, you are the first moot i’ve ever had, and honestly, i wouldn’t have it any other way. you're my favorite person in the entire world, and pls i am getting so emotional rn, i hate you >:-( i’ve told you everything at my previous letters but i just want you, and everyone else who’s about to read this, to know that you’re my platonic (and quite possibly romantic) soulmate, and my other-third, because pansy owns the shit out of us. love u lots, don’t say it back <3

@accioweaslcy

my favorite headcanon writer 😩 pls alyssa, i’ve had, and still do, have so much fun talking with you. i really, really, love your company, i love your writing, and most especially love you. you were one of my moots that talked to me with such ease and comfort despite being a tad bit younger than you, and it’s been fun ! you’re like one of those seniors who befriends juniors, but still have this amazing (and envying) friendship with each other. not only that, but you being my friend, and me being a dumbass, made our own version of the golden trio with @weasleyyy ! now, this is a story i’ll tell my kids. love u, even if you choose to chomp me <3

@weasleyyy

gHAZAL ! now, are you thankful for me being a half-asleep dumbass who thought you were rose because of your similar urls before, or what ? because i definitely am PFT SJSHSJSHSJN anyways, i’m so happy to have you in my life. i’m a sucker for your chaotic and impulsive energy, and your little thoughts about the hpu. just like rose, thank you for acting just as yourself around me, a smol bisexual mess, because i really do appreciate it, and now you made me a fanclub— which btw, i still cannot get over with. i wheeze everytime i remember it. i love u, madame gazelle, even if you’re a mean li’l fuck ! <3

@amrtxntias

AAAAAAAAH heather, you are officially my unofficial soft british best friend, and no, you do not have a say in this, because you’re stuck with me forever. thank you so much for helping me with terms i need for writing. you’ve been the best, you’ve supported me through every ups and downs with my writings ever since we’ve met. it wasn’t even too long ago ! but you’ve welcomed me like i was a long lost friend of yours. love u, h, the lily to my marlene <3

@buckysbeloved

aliciaaa !! you’re honestly like an older sister i’ve never had. i’ve never had anyone to rant about my marvel fangirlings with, but i am so glad that you were so open with my rants and conspiracy theories. you’ve never judged me or shown any disinterest with my rambles, you’ve been so supportive and you continue to give me the same energy as mine. it’s a very little thing to fuss about, but lish, you’ve got to know that it means so much to me. i’m tearing up— blame the hormones. but really, i’m so grateful for you and your company (and your maxibaby fics). love u to the moon and back ! <3

@acosmis-t

isa isa isa isa isaaaa, pls i love u so much. that’s all i want to say, but ofc, i need to say more. you have been one of my best friends— we clicked the moment we spoke to each other and i was incredibly happy to be your moot. i couldn’t even believe it at first because you’re this rly cool writer with tons of followers and i’m just another user in the crowd but like, everything i want to say is beyond the words that want to come out of my mouth, so i’ll leave it with a thank you for choosing me to be one of your mutuals. thank you for blessing me, and the others, with your lovely fics. never stop doing what you love, i’m here for you always. always was, and always will be. i mean, it should be with the jointed graves and all. love u <3

@reguluscore

SOOOORINNNN. sometimes i question what’s happening inside your head. like one second your posting angsty fics and thoughts, and next thing i know you’re posting a dancing prongs gif. i’ll never understand, i reckon, but that’s alright, i’ll love you just the way you are, even if you break my heart with your angst. tell me who hurt you and i’ll beat them up. i love u so much, i’m still listening to your playlist, because it’s astronomical. sending you some forehead kisses <3

@inks-and-jinx

vivian !! i’m still beyond grateful for you and your artistic and writing talents. you’re such an angel, and i’m so incredibly happy to have you in my life. you’re a sweetheart. you’re every sweet-soft-fluffy nickname there is, because honestly? i cannot speak well, or think straight because i don’t think words can describe how lucky i am to have you. well, i love u, and that’s all i could comprehend <3

@comfortwriting

karis ! you’re honestly one of my fave moots because you never fail to make me so appreciated and loved. your out of the blue messages always make me feel so happy because you’re so wholesome and nice. i’m very, very, glad to have you in my life. thank you for always being there to be my personal therapist and my human diary— who listens to all of my writing ideas, even if i have tons of wips to write. thank you for inspiring me to write again, without you, i would’ve never find my passion for writing again, so thank you, thank you for being the sweetest person there is, i love you ! <3

@krasivayadarling

ANYA ! darling, you are one of the very first mutuals i’ve ever talked to, you’ve welcomed me with open arms when i was new here and i wouldn’t change anything in the world. i’m so glad that you were the first person i’ve ever talked to because you are practically the human form of a squishmallow. don’t question me, you’re my squishmallow. anyways, you’re such a lovely person and i’m very happy to have you in my life, love you ! <3

@cursestothemoon

cHARLY-CHAR !! hehe you are like one of those nice, cool, senior students in school, you never fail to make me so giddy and loved. i’m so happy to have you in my life, and i’m wishing you all the happiness and love in the world because you truly do deserve it, especially when you’ve been nothing but so kind and friendly. pls i feel like crying because i don’t know what i did to deserve you. I BLAME U AND UR AMAZING WRITING SKILLS FOR MAKING ME SOFT >:-( i love you tho <3 — also thank you for that play fighting blurb with fred, i didn’t know that i needed to bite his cute butt until i read it.

@sunflowergirl522

ZOE ZOE ZOE ZOE ZOE ZOE ! I LOVE YOU. i feel so complete when i read your peter fics. i always look forward to them because it’s not everyday you find someone who actually writes him so good, and i know we don’t really interact much, but i feel like i got to know you more through reading your fics. u better trust me when i say that i’ll be your personal hype woman and maxibaby supporter, because i am, and i will forever be ! love u <3

@fives-cup-of-coffee

amelia, you bitch, i love you. to be honest, i've never really expected us to be friends, but ofc, here you are, simping for me and now we're besties. you've been, and still are, so fun to be around with-- only because i get to tease the shit out of you >:-) anyways, thank you for keeping up with my utter bullshit, i'm here for you always, i hope you know that. love ya ! <3

@moonvicake

wAHH-- sasha, hi. pFT JSADHJSAHDJH SORRY BUT PLEASE I LOVE YOU, DID YOU KNOW? it's been so painfully awkward at first because believe me, i'm the most gauche person you'll ever meet if we talk for the first time, but as soon as we grow accustomed to each other, you'd wish that you never spoke to me, because i'm this hot fucking mess, so thank you for keeping up with me. you're one of my favorite mutuals in here. i love you more than puppies and hello kitty pancakes <3

+ my mutuals who’ve been such amazing people, we haven’t talked as much as the tagged moots but i love you all just as equally, you lot mean the world to me, and i’m willing to go on the ends of the earth for all of you <3

@anchoeritic @babyjordy @frankenkyleluvr @ronsbadidea @kc-needs-coffee @nevilles-top @weasleyclaw @sweetnspicysimp @redbullchick @willowbleedsonpaper @weasleysandwheezes @daffodilmoons @incorrectpeterparker @dracosaccount @cedrics-grave @pad-foots @peepeepotter @oldschoolkiddo @spideyspixies @daltonacademia @eunoniaa @love-peachh @george-fabian-weasley @mayonnaise-and-anarchy @darthwheezely @thotbutpurple @l0ttadreamz @daisyyy2516 @prettywhitedoves @band--psycho @widowdays @loveboyhalo @gxtitobxby @fandomvariousness @nothinghcppens (i passed the 50 tags rule, eek— i’m sorry, i love all of you whom i didn’t get to tag, though 🥺)

[forcefully-awoken]

This was a request you can find here. It was meant to be a shorter 1k drabble but it ran away from me since i liked the idea so much.

Rating: E

Hizashi x F! Reader

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings for: audio exhibitionism, dubcon, slight regular exhibitionism, piercings galore, unprotected sex, oral sex (female receiving), as always if I missed something please let me know!

Hizashi always had such a way with words. 

Ever since you’d met him way back in high school- he was so smooth talking, so very confident in himself and what he was saying that it was almost too easy to find yourself wrapped up in whatever he was saying. It’s how you now found yourself naked on the small couch that resides in the recording studio inside his home. He’s got three long fingers inside of you already, assuring you that you’ll need to be this prepared to take his cock. 

He strips himself once he’s wrung two orgasms out of you already, and once you get an eyeful of how long his cock is, in all it’s pierced glory, you think two might still not be enough. He sits down on the couch, letting you straddle him with shaky legs. One of his hands holds you steady on your waist, the other lines himself up with your weeping slit. You can feel the head of him rub through your juices, nudge at your clit, causing you to jump. He rubs himself around it once, until you finally break and beg for him.

“‘Zashi, please, fuck me,” Your words trail off into a whine as he suddenly thrusts himself up into you. Your legs give out, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He uses the wiry muscles he keeps hidden in his hero outfit to manhandle you the way he wants. He bounces you up and down and you can feel the once cold mental of his piercing stimulating you. His noises are minimum, save for a couple of soft moans. You, on the other hand, can’t seem to shut up- haven’t been able to all night, not with the way Hizashi has been pleasuring you. 

“Oh god, oh god, please, right there,” You babble, hands gripping onto his shoulders tightly. “You feel so good, Hizashi!”

“Call me by my hero name, baby,” He says. It throws you for a loop for a brief moment but you continue on anyways. Some heroes like that, you figure, though you’re not quite sure why. 

“Present Mic!” His hero name leaves your mouth in nearly a scream, and you can see the smile on his face now. He grinds himself up into you, feeling larger than life in so many ways. You think the tip of his cock might brush your cervix, but his long, nimble fingers find your clit before you can spare too many thoughts. He rubs a circle around it one, two, three times, and then it’s all over for you. You’re cumming around him, pussy squeezing him so tightly it’s almost painful for the both of you. You keep moaning out his hero name though, just as he requested. 

His fingers stop moving around your clit, though they don’t leave it yet. He waits for a moment, still buried inside of you, for you to stop trembling in his arms. Once you seem well enough to continue you he does just that, moving you down underneath him and continuing to fuck you until you’re squirting around him. Only then does he finally, finally pull out and cum himself, all over you. 

Through it all you never notice the red light on the recording station.

Truth be told, you hadn’t really thought you’d hear from Hizashi again. 

It’s not as if he was the type to hit it and quit it, as some might say, but you had barely spoken to him in high school. You had only occasionally spoken after it. You figured the night you spent together was just him trying to get some sort of itch out of his system, perhaps a small crush he wanted to explore but didn’t really have the time for. 

It’s why his text message to you is so shocking. He’s having a party, he tells you, to celebrate the release of his new song (you hadn’t realized he had put one out recently). Not only are you invited, no he wants you to be the guest of honor! You’re not the type to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially not when it comes to an infamous Present Mic party. You dutifully clear your schedule for the next day at work even, having heard enough stories to make you realize you might need to sleep it off. 

The night rolls around, and you go all out when you doll yourself up for it. A nice, skin tight dress in your favorite color, heels to match. You take extra care with your makeup, though you know the lights will be too dim to truly appreciate it. Hizashi is even so nice to send a car for you, something that makes you feel truly like a celebrity. You get there with ease, grabbing a drink from the bar as soon as you arrive for some liquid courage. You don’t know a lot of the people there- or, well, anybody besides Hizashi, you realize as you look around the packed venue. 

There’s posters all around with the single’s cover art. Just a woman’s lips, painted red and open in the most obscene way, with Present Mic written in cursive script on the tongue. Not your usual sort of thing, but apparently it’s Hizashi’s. You awkwardly down your first drink and are halfway through the second when he finally finds you. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting little listener!” His arms wrap around you easily, like you two were the closest of friends. He pulls you close, pressing a kiss to your cheek, which you can feel heat up. “Come on, I wanted to give you a private listen first!” Something about it nagged in the back of your mind but you allowed yourself to be drug away, to the back of the venue. There’s a small private room there, what you thought at first glance might be a security booth. There was one glass wall, darkened so you couldn’t see into the room but you could easily see out. 

It was almost too lush in the room for you. Despite it being in the back of what was essentially a club, it looked like it was made for sin. There was an overly large couch pushed to the back, all dark red velvet and big enough for multiple people to lay down on. The room was barely lit, and there was a stripper pole on a raised platform in the middle of it. You shot a questioning glance back to Hizashi but he just ushered you in and closed the door behind him, locking it when your back was turned. 

“This is certainly fancier than the last room you had me in,” You blame the alcohol you’ve consumed for the poor phrasing of it all but if Hizashi notices anything weird he doesn’t mention it. He sits next to you on the couch, so close your bodies are pressed together- thigh to thigh, arm to arm. You can feel yourself heat up in other places when you feel his skin on yours. He’s pulling his phone out though, along with tugging a pair of little earbuds out. He offers them both to you, and without question you place them both into your ears. They block out the world immediately, until you can only hear your own breathing. 

Slowly the music starts to trickle in through them, first the low rumble of the bass before a voice breaks through it. It was a female voice, distorted but still recognizable to you. The woman was screaming Present Mic over and over, and there was just enough of noise in the background to let the listener know exactly why she was screaming it. 

It was your voice. 

Despite the embarrassment that slammed into you like a truck, you could feel yourself growing wet between your thighs. This was apparently what Hizashi had wanted from you- to hear you in your most intimate moments so he could use it for his music. Part of you felt violated, he hadn’t even asked if you would be okay with this! You yanked one ear bud out, hearing the music out of it still. Before you could open your mouth to argue his mouth was on yours, his hands pressing you back against the couch. 

Your hands come up to curl around his shoulders, trying hard to push him off of you, but his arms hold you close to him. His mouth leaves yours to kiss and suck down your neck. You can’t seem to twist away from him, not at this angle. He’s pressed you back all the way now, laying you down flat. 

“Stop, Hizashi!” Your words lack bite when he sucks a hickey onto your collarbone, drawing a moan out of you as well. “This is serious! You should have asked me!” Your words seem to have no effect on him, and how could they? Your body is reacting against you, writhing underneath him, legs spreading as much as they can to accommodate him. Your hands are pulling him closer rather than pushing him away. 

“Let me make it up to you, then,” He mumbles against your skin, and moves so quickly you miss what he does. He’s down between your legs in a flash, hiking your skirt up and yanking your underwear down. Your eyes dart nervously over to the glass wall but nobody seems to be looking at you. You bite your lip, lost in thought as Hizashi stares up at you. He waits, though you watch his tongue flash out to lick his lips. You push aside any of your doubts, knowing you can bring them up later. One deep inhale and you spread your legs for him. 

It’s all the consent he needs, diving into your cunt like a man starved. He used his fingers to spread you open for him, pressing his lips to your clit, his tongue rolling the sensitive nub around, letting you feel the piercing as you had before. Your legs kick out in pleasure, as it runs through you like a lightning bolt. It was hard to be mad at him when he was able to draw you to orgasm so quickly. The knot that you felt forming in your stomach was already beginning to fray. 

And, once he slid his tongue into you, pressing u p with that little metal ball right over your sweet spot, you’re gone. Your back arches, hands scrambling for purchase on the couch, in his hair, in your own, wherever you can grip. Distantly, you can still hear the one earbud still playing the music, but it’s unintelligible to you now. Your own moans are increasing in volume, as Hizashi doesn’t stop moving his tongue inside of you.  Your hand finds its way to cover your mouth, trying to hold it all in but Hizashi doesn’t let you. 

“Take your hand away from your mouth, now,” It’s a demand, and the coldest you’ve ever heard his voice. It’s intense, and sends a shiver down your spine. You hesitate to obey him, eyes flicking over again to the people just outside the room but he doesn’t back down, “Let me hear your noises. They’ll think it’s the song.” Once both your hands are tangled into his hair he returns to what he was doing, letting you grind down on his face. You feel his mouth move back up your clit, pulling it between his lips again and then there’s… a sensation of vibration. You feel the small piercing pressed up against you but it seems to be shaking, and all rational thought flees your head as it does. You can feel this orgasm rush out of you, juices covering his face, your thighs, the couch beneath you. He keeps it up until you beg for him to stop. 

He barely gives you a breather, pulling his cock out before crawling over you. He grabs the back of your knees, pushing your legs forward until they meet your chest. He’s able to slide into you with no resistance, your tight heat sucking him in as he does. He grunts when he bottoms out, holding himself there for a moment before pulling back out to slam into you. He keeps this pace up for longer than you thought, pulling out so just the tip is in before splitting you open once more. You think someone might try to find him, but nobody comes looking. He continues like this, ruining you for any other man like it’s just a casual night out for him. 

His fingers find your clit, his pace never faltering. As he rubs your clit you tighten impossibly more around him, finding your last orgasm of the night. He pushes himself all the way into you, feeling the way your walls squeeze and contract around him, milking his cock for everything. You cum with a screaming, hearing already how hoarse your voice has become. He moans loudly, filling you with cum. Both of you are panting by the end of it, your legs shaking in his arms.

Hizashi groans when he pulls out of you, setting your legs down gently on the couch. He goes so far as to help you into your underwear again, like that will stop the cum leaking out of you. You know you’re going to have to find some way to leave the party now, unsteady legs be damned. You push yourself up into a seated position, finally meeting his eyes to speak. 

“You know, you can’t just fuck your way out of this,” Your throat is raw and scratchy as you speak, and you take a sip of your now watered down drink. The burn of the alcohol hardly helps but it makes you feel better anyways. “Why didn’t you just ask me?”

“Didn’t want to put pressure on you,” He replies as he tucks himself away, “Wanted to hear your moans baby, alllll you.” You don’t want to admit that he has a point. Had you known he was recording you would have been quieter, more aware of how loud you were being. He takes your silence as agreement, leaning down to kiss you once more. 

“How about I take you back to my place and we work on another collaboration?”

[haifengg]

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucas can’t really go without affection. He needs a smooch at least before he leaves the house or when he says goodbye on dates. He wants to be reminded that their S/O loves him and that he loves them. It’s as easy as this.

B = Before (What were they like when they had a crush?) Dude would try to impress. With bad jokes. With flexing his guns. He would always ask his crush if they want to come with him and the guys to do whatever. And if they agree he wouldn’t really be able to hide his excitement. It would light a spark of pure joy in his eyes. It would be very obvious really.

C = Confession (What was their confession like?) Regardless of his looks and height Lucas still is a very childish man and he’s not that old either. I would honestly go that far and say that during his life he wasn’t the one confessing often. He usually got confessed to. So when it is actually his turn he would probably get all shy around his crush and he maybe asked Kun for advice as well on how to tell them and what to say since he is not the very best with words.

D = Date (What was the first official date they went on?) I am guessing something cheesy. Lucas may or may not be a romantic person but being all nervous about fulfilling expectations and doing a solid job he would take their S/O out to go an amusement park. He is a child really and his sometimes subtle playfulness is probably what attracts his S/O to him as well.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Please don’t come for me on this one but I recon he would choose a text. As I mentioned in section C = Confession I imagine him being this popular kid in school everyone had a crush on at least once a week. (We’ve all seen the pics he’s adorable.) That being said he maybe got too used to dumping people interested in him. I won’t say it is the same with his S/O as it was with high school sweethearts but he might just fall back into old patterns due to convenience. Breaking up would still hurt him and still be difficult.

F = Fights (What would fights look like? What are things that upset them?) Honestly: Fights with Lucas would be a pain mainly because he doesn’t see where he’s wrong or what the issue exactly is. He is a very loyal person once fully committed but maybe not the most understanding one.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) His emotional way is very gentle. His physical way in terms of hugs and holding hands is too. Simple mind - Simple showings off affection other things we don’t discuss here it is SWF, please

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Just like Johnny his arms are insanely long and wrapping them tightly around his S/O is just way to nice to not do it constantly.

I = Intimacy (What is their favorite form of intimacy? Do they have problems with it?) He knows why he’s in SM. He got casted off the streets for his looks. He also really radiates the vibes of only being there for the fun and the people only. Lucas is very confident in the way he looks and he is aware of how many thousand people find him insanely attractive. I am pretty sure there are close to no problems when it comes to intimacy but that is something very personal because we know that everyone has at least one issue with themselves which we sometimes could never tell.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) He gets jealous. Not much but he does in general. I am not sure how exactly that would display or how he would show it but overall: Yes he does.

K = Kisses (Are they a good kisser? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) I hope he is. Okay no honestly, hear me out lmao. Lucas ... is either very excellent at kissing or he isn’t. I just look at him and I really hope he is because that would be so grate and elevate him one step closer to being the complete package. He meets the height requirements. He has the hands to hold his S/O. He surely has the lips as well. Which is also where they like to kiss/be kissed the most.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Lucas is the perfect personality type for getting along well with kids. He is goofy enough to play around with them and fun and fool but he is also calm enough to not out-child them and keep an eye on them. He is guiding their playfulness in a way only a few people can.

M = Messages (How often do they text his S/O?) He texts them A LOT when he’s bored. During practice or some random meeting he would get distracted by his phone and text them about how bored he is. Also he would often take pictures or snaps of stupid little things he wants to show them but they’re not around. Speaking of SnapChat: Filters.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights out in clubs are hot and fun. Nights out in bars (if they are dates) are hot. Nights out in movie theatre would be so much fun. He would totally get this slushies that turn your tongue in different Colors but would also hold his S/O during scary parts of the movie even though he’s scared himself. Acting all tough

O = Opinion (Would they ask for their S/O’s opinion a lot? How important is it in terms of decisions?) He would ask for their opinion but mainly because he thinks he has to or that they would want to be ask. If it’s about his personal matters. When it comes to mutual decisions it’s different because well of course he asks for his S/O opinion. What they say matters to him and he wants both of them to be comfortable. So when they say that sofa is ugly - it’s ugly.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Getting on his nerves is quite hard I assume. He probably would be the one getting on his S/O’s nerves (most of the time by accident tho.) If it’s something about them that actually bothers him he will be patient and ask them to maybe change that behaviour for a long time before actually admitting how much it is bothering him and eventually raising his voice.

Q = Quizzes (How does a bar trivia night teamed up with them look like?) A complete mess. Lucas once admitted he is not the smartest one and I adore people who are aware of that and own it in their own way. He would still try his best to not let his S/O and maybe other teammates down. BUT he is still an important part of the team: The one who chugs everything for the sake of the cause. IDK I just see him being able to drink a lot. He radiates this frat boy energy help

R = Remember (How much do they remember about their S/O or their relaitonship in general?) Lucas does his best but he is forgetting a lot. He writes it down in his phone. For example there could be a list for his S/O's family member’s birthdays and all their important anniversaries. He may still forget them tho. When it comes to memory Lucas knows it’s not his forté but he is trying hard.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He is maybe one of the most protective boyfriends you will find in whole NCT. He shields his S/O from wind or rain, he corners them in crowded subways. He flags and gets in cabs first. He will shove between his S/O and other guys dancing at clubs casually so they don’t notice. He will tell people to fo k off if they are obviously bothering his S/O. He does it all.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) He might be sloppy with everyday chores but he will rather often take his S/O on spontaneous coffee dates or bring home take out aka steal something from the dorm Kun cooked.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a S/O?) What makes Lucas unique as a S/O is definitely his awareness of his ... stupidity? Now I can see people coming for me for saying this but he once said he is not very smart and he is probably correct about that. His abilities lay more in the practical and emotional/empathic area. So what makes him special is is ability to pull his S/O’s guard down. If they come home from work super stressed he will put their mind at ease by simply talking to them about not so heavy or challenging topic. He will be their save heaven. A place where they don’t need to pretend or to impress. Lucas loves his S/O 190% for their character or quirks and maybe even for their intellect as well but he doesn’t compete with it and is real about himself.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) SO. MUHC. He has sloppy days tho but they will mostly never catch him with greasy hair or anything. And also he is in shape and plans to stay that way.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their S/O?) He would. If he is not with them for a long time he can feel how he is losing his inner center or balance. Lucas would be fine on his own but honestly exactly just fine.

X = X-Ray (How transparent are they?) Lucas is an open book. He can’t hide anything and he is so easy to fool on like April 1st or some prank they want to play on him. If he’s feeling down they’ll see it. If he’s happy they’ll know it. if he truly loves them it will be on the local news.

Y = Yuck (Everyone has flaws. What is theirs?) Bruh okay. Well. He leaves his underwear everywhere. Or his socks. and he leaves the toilet seat up.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Being asleep he grabs everything and pulls it in close. There is no escape. And I feel like he will wander towards the mid of the bed so if their S/O is avoiding being hold custody they will have no where to go but the sofa or wake him up.

Gif is not mine

Taglist

@jeonghanmoon @kpopsnowball @pocky-otp @himitsu-luna @soleilsuhh @dundun-baby

Masterlist

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 4]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; masturbation, usage of toys, dirty talkin’, a bit of a filler chapter after last weeks hehe🍒 as always, thank you again for your continued support for cherry bomb 🥺💕 I'm actually not sure if next week’s chapter will go up on time due to my work schedule for next week but I'll be sure to keep y’all updated! if anything it’ll probably go up on saturday instead of friday... 😭😭 But anyway, have a good weekend yall! 💕💕💕 stay hydrated!! 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - ?

The weekend ends quicker than Seungcheol even notices and while he wakes up Monday morning already thinking about you and your show later in the evening; his face falters when he reads the message on your cam homepage.

‘Sorry everyone :( I think I caught a cold so I won’t be doing a show tonight… I promise I’ll make it up to you on Friday! In the meantime, I’ve uploaded some new pics in our members only room~ I hope it’ll tide you all over ‘til then! xx Cherry 🍒 ’

His first reaction is to immediately panic; reaching for his phone and texting you to get as much rest and sleep as possible. He makes a mental note to check in with you again later, finding that he’s already running late to get to work when he gets out of bed.

“Hey! Seungcheol-hyung!”

The said male turns around, placing the set of roller skates on the ground. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Jeongguk sits next to him on the wooden bench, legs stretched out as he passes Seungcheol an energy drink. “Nothin’, just wanted to say thanks for coming over on Saturday! We should try to do that again, except maybe we can go out for drinks or something? We can give it the good ‘ol college try, maybe bring home a girl, if you know what I mean~” Jeongguk wiggles his eyebrows at Seungcheol who rolls his eyes.

“Uh, I’m down for the drinking part but I think I’ll have to pass on the hookups.”

“Really? Why? Are you dating someone and you haven’t told me?”

Seungcheol thanks the gods that the roller rink is dimmed; neon lights and disco balls the only things keeping the entire place dimly lit when he blushes a deep crimson, face hot as he avoids the younger male’s gaze. “Nah, it’s just, I--I don’t think that’s really for me. I’m more of a, uh, relationship type of guy, y’know?” Also, I’m devoting my time and energy to someone already who isn’t really my girlfriend.

“Mm, makes sense!”

Jeongguk keeps Seungcheol company even on his break, the two chatting about various topics before he lets Seungcheol know his break is almost over.

“Hey, wait! Before you go…” Seungcheol is nervous for some reason, fingers gripping the suede of the rollerskate’s boot as he avoids eye contact again. “Um, this is gonna sound really weird but… Who’s ‘j__min’? I feel like I’ve seen that username before and it’s, uh, I’m just curious how you know them? Sorry if that’s weird, I just--I’ve been seeing them around pretty often.”

“Oh, that’s Jimin-hyung. He’s a friend of mine that games with me sometimes! I’ve never really met the dude in person before, but he seems nice.” Jeongguk nods, staring off into space. “He seems really busy all the time too. And he’s super active on social media, that’s probably where you’ve seen him.”

Seungcheol nods; the guy didn’t seem like any sort of immediate threat so he logs the information mentally for now. He’d just have to do some internet sleuthing himself when he got home.

“Oh, cool, okay! Thanks ‘Guk!” 

Seungcheol groans after the seventh pair of skates he’s cleaned, standing up to stretch and reach for his phone in his pocket. He checks the notifications, noting that you hadn’t texted back or read his messages yet.

A frown paints his features knowing that you were sick, but he makes another mental note to finally buy you that sybian now that his most recent paycheck had come in with it’s overtime bonuses. There were only a few more days until Namjoon came back which meant his extra pays would be over, a sad sigh escaping his lips at the thought. 

The day gruels on; Mondays were always the slowest days for the roller rink which meant Seungcheol spent most of the time cleaning skates and bumming snacks from the concession stand usually. He tries to not pry deeper into Jeongguk’s friends but the curiosity eats him alive so he makes an effort to stay away from the younger male for the rest of the day, this time.

Instead, he spends the day hiding in the employee break room any time he gets; only leaving when Yoongi decides to hide in there himself.

Your head feels like it’s going to spin off of your shoulders once you sit up in bed. The sun sits low in the horizon from what you can see through your bedroom window; noting that it must’ve been the late afternoon already.

You’d woken up with chills, head fuzzy when you’d sat up earlier in the morning. Knowing that you were at least somewhat sick, you quickly wrote up a little memo on your homepage letting your viewers know that there wouldn’t be a show later in the evening. Afterwards, you had quickly downed medicine before curling up under your sheets and going back to sleep. You’d vaguely been aware of your phone ringing on the nightstand next to your bed, but you prioritized sleeping instead, knowing that you had to get better before the weekend came.

You groan once you ease yourself off of your bed, dragging your feet as you make your way to the bathroom in hopes of a warm bath to make yourself feel better.

It’s almost 5PM which means it’s almost time for Seungcheol to finally go home. He checks his phone one more time before he pockets the device, putting away the last few pairs of rollerskates before he starts making his way towards the backroom. 

“Hey! ‘Cheol-hyung, can you come over here!?” Jeongguk yells over the music, arms waving him down frantically before he clocks out.

Seungcheol walks over, noting an unknown male standing with him. “Yes? Did you need help?”

“This guy, sorry I forgot your name?” The male laughs, eyes forming crescents when he smiles brightly at Jeongguk. “It’s Seokmin.”

“Right, right. Seokmin is asking if we’re hiring?” Jeongguk ends with a head tilt, unsure of the answer himself.

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek. Technically yes, they were understaffed even with Namjoon around. But Namjoon was also technically the one in charge of overseeing hiring positions. And while they technically should’ve hired more staff, that also meant Seungcheol’s overtime bonuses would be cut anytime they actually had the appropriate amount of staff.

“Uhhhh… I--I don’t think so? I’m not the one in charge. Our manager that decides staff and hiring positions is out of town indefinitely so…” Seungcheol trails off, hoping Seokmin gets the hint.

“Ahh… Should I come back another time then?” Seungcheol nods, frowning slightly. “Sorry ‘bout that man. But hey, why don’t you leave your contact info so we can call you? So you don’t have to keep coming back.”

Seokmin nods, beaming at the older male.

“Sure, that’d be great! Thanks!”

Seungcheol only feels slightly bad when he gets home that night, praying karma doesn’t kick his ass later for lying.

On days when you cancel your show are the days Seungcheol realizes he needs more hobbies than watching your cam shows and gaming all night.

Not that it’s a bad thing, he thinks, just that he could supplement his life with more.

He places an order for a few cookbooks alongside the order for the sybian, soft chuckles spilling from his lips when he realizes what an odd array of things he’s ordered.

Seungcheol manages to fill his night with meaningless tasks; finally cleaning his PC and settling in to watch a movie while he polishes off an entire pizza. He checks his phone a few more times, noting no new messages and he wonders if you’re really okay. A lightbulb goes off in his head, power walking back to his PC as he opens a new browser.

He bites his lip, typing in ‘j__min’ in the search bar to see what comes up. By nature, the username is unfortunately a lot more common than he anticipates and he ends up rifling through a lot of dead ends before he comes upon the profile on the same camming website you used and an instagram that seemed to be updated fairly regularly.

“Let’s see…”

Your body feels hot all over. Pin pricks on your fingertips as a bead of sweat trickles down your temple.

Now, you didn’t feel sick, you just felt incredibly insatiable. Again.

You weren’t sure if it was because your body had adjusted to a certain schedule, but you can’t help the way you toss and turn in bed; thighs rubbing together in hopes of alleviating the growing wetness between them.

Checking the clock, you note it’s already 10PM, close to when you’d normally be doing your show. You sigh, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. You immediately notice a few text messages from Seungcheol; frowning when you notice the text messages were from the morning.

cheollie ✨: hey, baby :( saw your note, i hope you’re okay.

cheollie ✨: make sure to drink a lot of water and take medicine!

cheollie ✨: don’t push yourself too hard either okay?

The messages end there and you pout, unsure what to even say now that it had been hours since he’d texted.

babygirl 🍒 : cheollie… i only saw ur msgs now 🥺

babygirl 🍒 : im sorryyyyy i was sleeping so long but i feel better now!!

Seungcheol closes all his browser tabs before he realizes it, a smile on his face when he sees you’ve responded.

‘That’s okay, I’m just glad you’re okay and feeling better. Promise me you drank tons of water?’

He feels giddy, palms sweaty as he grips his phone.

babygirl: mmhmm! i did… i don’t even feel sick anymore 🥺 but…

babygirl: dunno… i’m feeling needy again… i think my body is used to my usual schedule...

Seungcheol’s body thrums with newfound energy and arousal at your leading comments. He’s unsure of what to say next, fearing he was going to say too much. But his phone pings again, eyes quickly flitting over your messages.

babygirl 🍒 : if ur busy its okay but

babygirl 🍒 : do u think we could cam? just u and me?

babygirl 🍒 : only if ur free tho!!

His fingers are tingling when he sends his reply, making it short and sweet before he places his phone down and makes sure his PC is running smoothly.

‘Of course, you know I’m always here when you need me. :)’

It takes a few minutes for you and Seungcheol to set up your respective spaces and in the meantime, you grab your laptop, propping it open on the bed next to you as you lay in front of it. You had debated on using your better camera which you used for camming, but you didn’t want it to be set up like a cam show.

Instead, you wanted a more intimate and casual video call with Seungcheol, so you made sure your webcam worked fine as you placed it on the sheets.

‘Video Call Incoming…’

You can’t help the blush that coats your skin nor the lust that fills your body as soon as you accept his call; his somewhat blurry figure coming into view.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Seungcheol beams at you through the grainy camera and you already feel yourself clenching around emptiness, words caught in your throat at how handsome he was and how truly enticing his voice was. “H-hi!” Rubbing your thighs together, you peer at the camera shyly. “I--wow, the pictures really… You’re so much more handsome on v-video.” You giggle slightly, leaning in closer to your laptop to get a better view of the silvery-blue haired male.

Seungcheol’s deep laugh filters through the speakers and your toes curl against the sheets.

“You should see me in person, maybe I’ll look even better then.”

You don’t deny that one bit; your own hands already itching to touch yourself. “Oh? Is that an invitation~?”

Seungcheol’s eyes pierce the camera, licking his own lips as you watch him  snake a hand down into his sweats.

“If you want it to be, sweetheart. But tell me about you, how are you feeling? Have you eaten already?”

Gulping, you watch as his hand seems to work slowly and out of view. “I--um, I feel b-better just… Dunno, guess my body’s just used to, um, y’know… A-and I haven’t really had much of an appetite...” You trail off, head still fuzzy from the cold medicines and now, Seungcheol.

In a roundabout way, it almost feels like you’re watching him do a show for you as you watch him slowly get off.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, baby. But you know you should try to eat, okay? I don’t want you to get even sicker.” You nod, fingertips already at the edge of your sleep shorts. 

“I--c-can I touch myself too?” Seungcheol laughs lightly, nodding as he tilts his head back. “Of course, you don’t need to ask me for permission, baby.”

You grin at him, sitting up as you reposition the laptop. Your hand slides underneath a pillow, grabbing the small bullet vibrator you kept there. “Do you always keep a toy handy?” His voice is airy, teasing in the way he asks.

“Mmhmm~ You never know when you’ll need it~” You sing-song, shimmying your sleep shorts and panties off before you spread your legs in front of the camera.

The air gets knocked out of Seungcheol the second you spread your legs for him and him alone and he can’t help but imagine all the things he wanted to do with you. He watches as you tease yourself, fingertips only grazing across the areas he knew you wanted to be touched the most. 

“I can’t wait for us to finally fuckin’ meet.” He grits out.

A moan floats through the speakers of Seungcheol’s gaming PC, your saccharine voice music to his ears. “M-me too, wanna know what you’d do to me~” You giggle afterwards, pressing the vibrator to your clit as you spread your legs wider for him to see. Seungcheol’s hand around his cock tightens as he watches, an appreciative smirk on his face.

“Oh sweetheart, what wouldn’t I do to you.” You can’t help but slide your fingers through your wet folds listening to Seungcheol’s voice, whimpering when you finally slide a finger in. “Yeah? What would be the first thing? Tell me, ‘Cheollie~”

Even through the webcam quality, you can see the way Seungcheol’s eyes glaze over in complete pleasure. He licks his lips once, leaning in close so that you can hear him clearly.

“I know you probably think I’d get straight to the filthy shit, huh? Pin you to your bed and fuck you until you forget your own name or tie you up to the bedposts and make you beg for me to fuck you. But I wouldn’t. Because I wanna worship your fuckin’ body. I’d take it nice and slow with you, give you as many orgasms as you want.”

“F-fuck, Seungcheol, I–”

“You could use me for your pleasure, y’know? You deserve it. You’re such a good girl. I’d give you anything you fuckin’ want if you’d let me.”

Your choked moans have Seungcheol working his cock faster; nothing on his mind except for you and his impending orgasm. “Oh g-god, Seungcheol, I--fuck, yes, I want that~ I want you to--to make me cum as many times as I w-want!” You mewl, easily working in another finger as you pump the digits inside your pussy.

He smirks when he sees your grip on the vibrator loosening, knowing that you were already too lost in the pleasure to keep the toy on. “And I’d let you. Maybe I’d make you cum on my tongue first. Or would you want my fingers?”

“B-both! Puh--please…” You whine, legs threatening to clamp shut. You curl and scissor your fingers, thrusting them knuckle deep inside yourself as you chase the pleasure that overtakes your senses. “Please, ‘Cheol, tell me more~”

You watch through the camera as Seungcheol pushes his sweats down enough to get his cock into view; mouth watering as you watch it curve up to his lower abdomen.

“I know how much you love being doted on and being taken care of… So after I make you cum all fuckin’ night, you know I’d take care of you. Make sure you’re comfortable and cuddle with you when you’re tired.” His hips cant up into his closed palm, a soft groan on his lips. “And then when we wake up, I’ll eat you out. Nice and slow so you know it’d be worth it.” 

Seungcheol smirks, smearing the precum all over his shaft. “But I also know you like it rough and you like being punished like a bad girl. You like the idea of being tied up and teased and being fucked nice and hard too. I could take it nice and slow, build up the pleasure for you. Or I can take it nice and slow and tease you, I’d make you sit on my cock ‘n make you wait for it ‘til you’re begging me. Or maybe you would want an audience? Let them see you fall apart on my cock when you’re desperate to cum.” 

You press the vibrator against your clit again, Seungcheol’s name falling out of your mouth in a blubbering mess. “Oh--I--!!”

Your legs clamp shut, fingers halting their movements as you cum hard around your fingers. Seungcheol watches as your legs shake, his own hand running up and down his cock in quick motions as he chases his high too. You vaguely hear him groaning your name; the ringing in your ears overbearing as your orgasm continues to wash over you.

The sound of your quick and shallow breaths mix with Seungcheol’s over the speakers as the two of you catch your breath. You slip your fingers from inside of you, wincing when you turn off the toy and toss it to the side.

“Fuck, baby, I--”

“Y-yeah…” You quietly lick your fingers clean, knowing that Seungcheol’s watching. “I… that was the first time I… did that with s-someone…” You giggle tiredly, wiping the rest of your sticky fingers on your shirt.

“Really? Never?” Seungcheol’s surprised expression makes you giggle; his eyes round and mouth wide open as he leans closer to his webcam.

“Mmhmm! Just, y’know, it’s--it’s hard to get close to people sometimes…”

You had mentioned it off-handedly once while the two of you had been texting, that most of the dates you’d been on hated the fact that you cammed. There was always a possessive aura that was present and while Seungcheol would sometimes get a little jealous himself, he also knew it was your livelihood and how you supported yourself.

“Ah, yeah, I can understand.”

The two of you sit in a content silence, Seungcheol reaching for a few tissues to clean off the drying cum on his abdomen.

“Hey, ‘Cheol?”

“Yeah?” He peers up at the camera through his lashes, blinking rapidly as he watches you lay back down in front of your laptop.

“About what you said… earlier…” You pause, shyness overtaking once again. “I--Would you want to meet up? Like, for real? I mean--not--not like tomorrow or something but... Y’know, we can start planning?” 

Any words that come after that turn into radio static in Seungcheol’s head and he can feel his pupils shaking, nervousness already bubbling up inside of him at the prospect of actually finally maybe getting to meet you. 

“Seungcheol? ‘Cheollie? You okay?” 

Fuck.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah! I’m cool, I’m good, sorry, that--that caught me off guard.”

He watches as you talk animatedly, mind already going a mile a minute as he thinks over everything that needed to be done before then. 

“I’m really excited to meet you, ‘Cheollie!” 

[twiceinadream]

Twice React: Fem S/O and Them Get Caught By Their Kids

Requested: Yup

Request: Can u do twice and their wife get caught by their kids plz?

a/u: Hey, guys! So it’s been three months since my last reaction (sorry about that) but I’ve had a writing bug this week and finally got this done so I hope you all enjoy. I love you all and thank you the support!

Category: NSFW and Fluff

Nayeon

“Oh sh…”

Being mothers was one of the greatest achievements you and Nayeon had ever come to. However, that also meant alone time was far and inbetween, so knowing your guy’s daughter was having a sleepover at her sister’s was like a message from the divine. Except when she forgot her safety blanket and you guys forgot her sister had a spare key. As soon as Nayeon’s sister had left with your daughter in hand, Nayeon was quick to push you on the couch as her hands found her way into your shirt. You let out a low moan as her lips trailed kisses up and down your throat, small nips made you croon as the sound of the door opening made you two get up quickly. Your guy’s daughter coming into view a few seconds later, “Hi, baby. What’s wrong?” Nayeon was quick to act as you reached for a blanket to cover your neck. “I forgot Blankey.” Your wife nodded as she took her hand, leading her back to her room to retrieve her favorite blanket. Your attention was driven back to the door as you could hear muffled laughter, “What?” Nayeon’s sister just smiled slyly as she shrugged playfully, “Didn’t mean to interrupt Y/N.” You rolled your eyes, “Shut up.” Her laughter followed you as you left the room.

Jeongyeon

“Off!”

Your guy’s son was the pride and joy of both of your lives. But wandering hands in the backseat of the family car feel so much better when you're racing against the clock of your son’s soccer practice. It had been a minute since you and your wife had shared some alone time together and when she pulled you into the backseat you weren’t about to complain as your hands found your way into her pants as you connected your lips in a kiss. “I can’t remember...the last time we did...this.” You could hear the smile in her panted words as your fingers rubbed at her clit, the pent up sexual frustration guiding her to her climax as you continued kissing her neck. “I know. You better cum quick though, I think practice might end soon.” Jeong nodded as she gripped onto your shoulder, her climax seconds away as you heard the door to the van slide open. Jeongyeon panicked as she pushed you away from her, the force sending you backwards as you pretty much fell out of the van and onto the asphalt. Your son’s confused face meeting yours as your wife quickly jumped out as well, making sure nothing looked too strange. “What were you doing?” You looked to your wife as your son raised an eyebrow in confusion. You both shook your heads before replying in unison, “Nothing.”

Momo

“Crap.”

Being married was amazing, but being mothers was even better. Even if that meant having your early morning quickie interrupted by the bedroom door bursting open. It was early on a Saturday morning and you had already gotten busy beneath the sheets as you lapped at your wife’s entrance. Momo bit her finger to keep quiet as her other hand was tangled in your hair, grinding against your tongue as her release began to build. When suddenly, the door to your guy’s bedroom burst open and your sons came running in full speed with Boo at their heels, jumping onto the bed and coincidentally you under the blankets as you yelped in pain, “Ow!” Your boys were quick to jump off you as they stared at a blushing Momo as you emerged from below, “Mom what were you doing to Mama?” You opened your mouth to speak but Momo beat you to it, “We were playing Hide and Seek, right Y/N?” You gave her a confused look as you nodded dumbly. “Yeah, um...and you boys better go hide before we find you!” The two were quick to run out of the room as they left to hide, a shocked look still on your faces as you both suddenly burst out laughing. “Well, I guess that’s motherhood for us.” You gave your wife a smile as you got up from the bed, “Alright! Ready or not..here I come!” Before you left you pecked her lips as you winked, “I’ll make it up to you tonight Momoring, when the boys are really asleep this time.”

Sana

“What?” (Ojou-sama: Small girl in Japanese)

Don’t get it wrong, your daughter was an angel. An angel who seemed to have a “my moms are getting it on” alert system. You can’t really explain what had happened to you in that moment but watching Sana do the dishes just made her look like the most beautiful woman on Earth and with your daughter taking a nap you just couldn’t keep your hands off her. One second Sana was at the sink and the next she was on the counter with your hands under her shirt as you connected your lips in a kiss. Your hands groped at her breasts as your lips left hot kisses down her neck as you nip playfully at her pulse point making your wife squirm as the heat building in her created a knot in her stomach, “Y/N please, I’m so wet.” The sound of her voice made your knees weak as you nodded, reaching behind her as you hooked your fingers into the waistband of her sweatpants and panties ready to pull them down and ravish your wife when you heard little footsteps get closer to the kitchen, “Mommy? Mama?” You both looked at each other in shock as you quickly helped Sana down from the counter just as your daughter walked in, “Yes, ojou-sama?” Your daughter clutched her stomach, “My tummy hurts.” You both frowned, hating whenever your daughter was hurting, “Here I’ll help you, baby.” You offered as your daughter took your hand, “I’ll make it up to you.” Sana shook her head, “Later. Take care of her first.”

Jihyo (This is my favorite Jihyo look hands down. She low key looks like Iris from TWD: World Beyond)

“Nothing!”

Having twins was great! But, alone time after having twins was never the same as before, especially when the door opens. Having a three year old was hard, but having two at the same time was even harder especially if one was very hyperactive and curious while the other tagged along just because they didn’t want to be left behind. So trying to ride your wife’s thigh in the laundry room wasn’t exactly the smartest plan as you were dangerously close to the edge of no return. “Hyo, I’m close. I think I’m gonna…” As you fell over the edge the door to the laundry room suddenly burst open as the face of you daughter and son came into view making you and your wife panic as she pulled her thigh away from between your thighs, which wasn’t the smartest thing since your legs were pretty much jelly mid-orgasm causing you to fall on the floor, “Ouch!” The twins looked concerned as they rushed to your aid, “Are you okay Mama?” You had a heavy blush on your face as the twins hugged you tightly, while Jihyo hid a smirk behind her hand. You rolled your eyes as you made sure the twins weren’t looking as you flipped off your wife. Jihyo just smiled as she blew you a kiss, leaving you to deal with your clingy twins.

Mina

“Move, move, move.”

You were the cool mom and Mina was the graceful one. Except when it came to being walked in on. It was like a whirlwind before you registered Mina on her knees, water poured down on the both of you as she ate you out in the shower. Trying to steal all the alone time she could get with you as your daughter watched Frozen in the living room, your fingers grasping onto the shower curtains as Mina latched onto your clit unexpectedly making you yelp out loud in surprise as your knees grew weak. Your release began rapidly approaching but just as you were at your peak the door to the bathroom creaked open and Mina was quick to stand making her nearly lose her balance due to the water as you caught her nearly taking the shower curtain with you as you peaked your head out. Only to find your daughter staring back at you, “ What’s going on?” Your daughter looked at you worriedly, “I heard you scream Mama. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Both your hearts melted as you thought of a quick lie to ease her worries, “That’s very thoughtful baby, Mama just scared me.” Her gaze suddenly turned to Mina, “That’s not nice Mama.” Mina smiled sheepishly, “You’re right, I should know better. How about you go back to the movie and we’ll be back there soon.” Satisfied your daughter left the bathroom as you both let out a sigh of relief as your wife couldn’t help but snort, “Told you, you were a screamer.” You pushed her into the cold water, making her yelp as well, “So are you.”

Dahyun (Imma go to Hell for this one, but it was just too good not to do it)

*Can’t function*

Dahyun raised your guy’s kids in the church. Even if what came out of her mouth when they walked in wasn’t. Your wife wasn’t super pushy about religion. She just wanted them to have a good foundation before letting them decide what they wanted to do in their lives for the future, so after saying their prayers for the night you and Dahyun also settled into bed as well. However even good church girls had their moments since in the blink of an eye you had Dahyun pinned beneath you as she grinded down on your fingers as you pumped them into her heat, her wetness coating your every move as her back arched. Your fingers began curling into her g-spot as she moaned out, “Oh god, oh god, oh god...” Dahyun was so close to coming when the door to your guy’s bedroom opened making you both panic as you quickly rolled off your wife and wiped your fingers on the sheets before facing your son who was standing in the doorway, “Mom? Eomma?” You cleared your throat as you patted the bed, watching your son quickly climb up, “What’s going on buddy?” He looked between the both of you before looking at his hands, “I heard Eomma saying her prayers really loud, she kept saying, ‘Oh god” a lot and I wanted to join.” At the hilariously innocent answer you couldn’t help but laugh as a dark blush took over Dahyun’s face, “Oh, you just missed it, she finished as you walked in,” He pouted as you ruffled his hair, “Maybe tomorrow. I’ll tuck you back in.” You got up from the bed as you gave your wife a teasing smile, her face still red as she screamed into a pillow. Your laughter following you down the hall.

Chaeyoung

“Behave.”

Chaeyoung was the badass mom who didn’t take shit from anyone. Except when your hands wouldn’t stop moving under the table. When your wife had mentioned “spicing up your guy’s sex life” this isn’t exactly what she meant, but she was so pent up that she didn’t really care that you were trying to fit in an orgasm in the middle of a restraunt as your daughter was in the bathroom. Your fingers teased her through the fabric of her panties as your hand snuck further under her skirt, circling her clit as she gripped onto the tablecloth. Both of you were so distracted that you hadn’t noticed your daughter had returned, a look of confusion on her face as she cleared her throat, “Moms?” At the sound of her voice you and Chaeyoung jumped apart, your wife’s lips were parted slightly as she tried to mask the fact she was panting, teetering on the edge of a orgasm that had been interrupted (which was not your daughter’s fault, but the fact you two were as horny as teenager). You offered a half smile, “Hi, baby, you’re back.” She nodded her eyes looking between the two of you, “Did I interrupt something?” Chase quickly shook her head, “Nope, Mama was just telling me about this ice cream place we should try after.” Your daughter’s eyes lit up at the mention of desert as you gave your wife a look, “Yup, so save room.” She smiled as she sat back down across from the two of you as you whispered into Chae’s ear, “Smooth, Chaengie. Real smooth.” Your wife just rolled her eyes as she Goggled the best ice cream places near where you were. “Shut up Y/N, you’re finishing what you started later.” You smirked as you bit her ear lightly before pulling away, “With pleasure.”

Tzuyu (I wanted to end this react on a sweet note)

“We’re getting a dog!”

You and Tzuyu could read each other like open books, always on the same page. Unless she panicked trying to not have “the talk” with your guys five year old. It had been a long day at work and all you wanted to do was relax with your wife, the massage she had offered you earlier turned more sensual as her hands got lower eventually ending up between your legs as you moaned at the stimulation. Tension leaving your body with every circle of your clit as you neared your climax. Cloud 9 felt like it was just a flick of your clit away when the door to your guy’s bedroom opened and your son stood in the doorway, his own Minjoong in his arms as Tzuyu quickly covered your naked body with a blanket as she looked to the boy, “What’re you doing?” You both looked shocked as Tzuyu looked to the version of Minjoong you had bought for him when he was a baby, thinking quickly so she wouldn’t need to teach a five year old about the “birds and the bees”. “We’re getting you a puppy!” What followed was a unison, “What?!” From both you and your son as he ran out of the room in excitement jumping and hugging the stuffed dog to his chest, a shocked look on your face, “I’m sorry, we’re what?” Tzuyu face palmed as she sighed, “I panicked, I’m sorry.” But by the tone of her voice you could tell that there was something more than just panic that made her say it, a small smile on your lips as you sat up slightly. Ensuring the blanket didn’t slip as you placed a kiss to her cheek, “Don’t worry about it baby. Prada or Dior aren’t bad names for a new puppy.”