#i feel like I just revealed I know an embarrassing amount about Dune

[timbourinedrake]

the brain worms kicked in and now I have a fully formed Dune au...

Ramblings (and Dune spoilers I guess??) under the cut

OK SO

The Waynes = The Atreides. Bruce is obviously gonna be the Duke, with Alfred as his Mentat. Talia is his wife and part of the Bene Gesserit, and together they have Damian, who is raised as heir. Dick, Jason and Tim are Bruce's adopted sons but as they're not related by blood, they are not considered heirs by the other houses (cus of the mating index and all that jazz). Jason=Duncan Idaho, Dick=Gurney Halleck and Tim=Hawat (he and Alfred share Hawats role in the story). (they fit these roles stupidly well if you think about it too hard).

The Waynes get sent to Arrakis Krypton to replace the Al Ghuls. Kryptonians take the place of Fremans, and Clark is Liet and imperial planetologist (therefore making Jon=Chani)

The same basic politics and plot beats happen, leaving Bruce, Clark and (temporarily) Jason dead, Dick on the run, separated from a pregnant Talia and Damian, who are also on the run, and Tim and Alfred being poisoned and used as Ra's mentat.

Also just to note in this au, Ra's actually does suspect that Talia is his daughter and that's why he's so interested in Damian, whilst Talia is fully aware of her lineage and tells Damian. Ra's sucks in this but he's at least not a pedo like the Baron is

The rest of Dune plays out as is, with Damian becoming the Muad'dib, Talia becoming the Sayyadina and giving birth to Athanasia, who looks just like a mini Bruce and has her freaky powers, and they eventually take down the Al Ghuls.

Ngl I would just leave it there instead of following the rest of the Dune books because 1. I can't think of who could suitably fit the Padishah Emperor and co. and 2. I just want them to be a happy family at the end and not having Damian become the messiah and start a holy war.

which is. kinda defeating the point of Dunes message. but at the same time this is a batman au and it doesn't have to be that deep because i said so :p

[probably-not-star-lord]

Guardians of the Galaxy: Part 2 (Peter Quill x Reader)

Part 1

A/N: Here is the second part for my Guardians of the Galaxy series. I don't like the first part too much because Peter isn't in it, but at least it gives a little backstory on the reader.

Warnings: swearing, mild violence, fluff

-

26 YEARS LATER

MORAG 2014

You step out of your spaceship letting the breeze on the abandoned planet blow through you. Surrounding you are rocks and debris that appear to be populated by small, rodent-like creatures. How the hell are you supposed to find some fancy orb here?  You spin around trying to find clues. There's nothing intriguing. All of the rocks look misshapen, out of place, falling apart. The debris floats across the ground or rests on top of rock formations. The creatures lurk creepily, sending shivers down your spine. It's hopeless. There are no possible hints leading to your end goal. On the brink of giving up, you think back to your sister: Gamora. You managed to escape the wrath of Thanos almost two decades ago, but she didn't.

Not long after your departure from Thanos' ship, you became a petty thief, making a bit of money here and there, sometimes at the cost of others whose items you were swiping. But, amidst the fun you had, there were melancholy times of loneliness where you longed for your friends again. Shortly after being taken from Terra, you, Gamora, and Nebula grew inseparable. You were sisters. The sisters you chose to leave behind in order to escape, only helping yourself. Recently, you ran into Gamora, the now tough assassin who had every right to be mean to you after skipping town on her and Nebula. But, she always had a soft spot for you, randomly being abducted and only trying to get out of whatever Thanos had planned, so she forgave you.

Gamora told you about how she and Nebula turned against each other after you left, longing for you to return and bring the friendship back somehow. She talked about how Thanos had become more powerful and menacing as time went on, and she was planning on betraying him through Ronan. Ronan is one of the Kree people who is working with Thanos in order to bring equality to the universe. He needs the orb to gain strength, which is exactly what Gamora promised to bring him. Obviously, she is not going to follow through and she actually intends on selling it to a third party. This third party is willing to pay a copious amount of units, something you love. You could use a few units to fix up your ship and it feels amazing having Gamora back as a friend, so she let you assist her in her plan.

That's why you're on Morag, scoping a dusty, old planet and looking for some fruity orb. To make the search possible, you need your beloved walkman. You put in your headphones and strap the device to your pants. Upon pressing play, you instantly recognize the song. Letting the rhythm take you, you start wandering the planet on a hunt for the orb.

Peter Quill waltzes out of the Milano, walkman at his hip, per usual. He is looking for some kind of orb. The same orb you are currently searching for yourself. Yondu sent Peter to Morag in search of the orb, however, he is destined to retrieve it before Yondu and make a little bank for himself. Upon reaching a flat area, Peter retracts his mask and presses play on his walkman. "Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone starts playing and he instantly picks up with the melody. He dances and sings along, never missing a beat after hearing the song so many times. He kicks some rocks and creatures out of his way, enjoying himself as he continues to get closer to his destination.

Hearing a noise, Peter immediately comes to a halt. He can hear someone moving near him, but he also hears...music? He takes his headphones off and presses pause on the walkman. He still hears the faded notes to a legendary song. Not only does he know this song, but he loves this song. Turning around in circles, he sees the source of the noise. His mouth falls agape as he looks at you, dancing, completely oblivious to everything around you.

"If you like piña coladas,

and getting caught in the rain,"

You belt your heart out into the lyrics as the song plays on your walkman. You sway your hips to the beat, finding the rhythm and making a fool of yourself as you move to it. You've become immune to dancing and singing alone in the comfort of your own ship that the thought of another being witnessing you has never crossed your mind. The days alone on your ship are spent blaring one of your tapes at an unhealthy volume and following all of the songs you know so damn well. Although you couldn't dance to save your own life, you lack embarrassment and just look so confident doing it that it almost looks good. Does Peter find this cute? Hell yeah, he does.

"If you're not into yoga,

if you have half a brain,"

You continue to sing as you head in the same direction as Peter, who is still in shock at this lovely woman in front of him. A Terran? With a walkman? That likes the same music he does? That's the dream! You are absolutely breathtaking to him. He finds himself infatuated by your awful dancing and off-pitch singing. Snapping out of his gaze, he returns to his casanova demeanor and upturns the corners of his mouth into a smirk as he saunters over to you.

"If you like making love at midnight,

in the dunes of the-"

Your singing is cut off by a man who stands in front of you, holding the earbuds he just took out of your ears in the middle of your jam session. Your face heats up slightly at the fact you were just dancing like no one was watching because you really did believe that no one was watching. You slowly lift your head up to meet the man's eyes. He wears a confident smirk and a smoldering gaze as he leans against the rock pile next to him. He eyes you up and down, not ashamed to check you out. It's flattering.

"What's funny is that I do, in fact, like piña coladas and gettin’ caught in the rain," he says, continuing to let his eyes linger on your body.

Trying to act annoyed, you roll your eyes at him, but you can't help stifling a quaint laugh at the cheesy line he just fed you. "Good one," you retort, crossing your arms and stepping past him towards a flight of stairs.

"Don't you like makin’ love at midnight?" he calls out after you. You quietly giggle, again. Why is his goofy charm working on you? Hopefully, he didn't hear you laugh. He follows you up the stairs as you open the large doors, revealing a dark cave. On a podium, sits a glowing ball, which you naturally assume is the orb.

You walk over to it and the man grabs your wrist. "And just what in the hell do you think you're doin'?" he questions you, slightly pulling you back from the orb.

"Probably retrieving this strange ball that appears to have the importance of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber or something," you huff. Peter's eyes widen at your reference to Star Wars, something nobody else in the galaxy would know but him. You raise an eyebrow at his silence and dropped jaw. "So, you know, I'm doing exactly what I came here for."

He chuckles at your words, a sincere laugh, and you can't help but smile. "Sounds like something I would say about this stupid thing," he says. You shrug, still impressed you made him laugh. Peter follows the outline of your figure with eyes again, followed by genuine eye contact. "You're from Terra."

"Wow, Sherlock, I'm impressed." The words spit out of your mouth sarcastically, but only with good intentions. "How else would I know about Star Wars?"

"You make a valid point."

You shake your head and lean towards the orb again. "I know. Can I get back to my job now?"

"No!" Peter yanks you back from the orb. "You're all wrong about retrieving it, darlin', it makes me think you're a terrible theif. You can't just grab shit like this. Here, allow me to demonstrate." With a cocky wriggle of his eyebrows, he pulls something out of his bag and lays it down on the ground. The orb slowly gravitates toward it and sure enough, it works. He picks up the orb and tosses it up in the air playfully.

You try your hardest to not act impressed. "Rad," you mutter. "Thanks a lot."

He gently places the orb in your hands and flashes you a bright grin. "You're very welcome. The name's Peter, by the way, Peter Quill, but people call me Star-Lord."

"Well, Star-Lord, I'm Y/N, Y/N L/N, and people don't call me by a silly, code name."

Peter shifts uncomfortably and rolls his eyes at you. "It's an outlaw name," he mumbles.

Suddenly, the doors are thrown open and several Kree men flood in. The leader, Korath, is followed by his henchmen that fill the room, surrounding you and Peter.

"Drop it!" Korath commands. The henchmen grab you and Peter, and you instinctively place the orb down on the ground.

"Hey! Relax. It's not a problem."

Peter backs you up. "Yeah, no problem at all."

Korath picks up the orb and inspects it. "How do you know about this?"

"I don't even know what that is. I'm just a junker, man. We were just...just checking stuff out," Thankfully, Peter talks first, so you don't have to come up with some lie to get out of this situation. Not that he did any better with the talking.

"You don't look like a junker. You're wearing Ravager garb!" Korath shouts as his henchmen begin to prod you and Peter with their guns.

"This is just an outfit, man," he states as one of the henchmen pushes you harshly closer to Peter. "Ninja Turtle, you better stop pokin' her." You grin at his words, making sure to hold back your laughter given your current state.

"What is your name?" Korath asks, turning to you.

"Y/N L/N."

"And you?" he gestures to Peter.

"My name is Peter Quill, okay? Dude, chill out."

"Move!" he shouts.

You raise your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"Ronan may have questions for you." Shit, you do not need to see Ronan right now, or ever.

Peter puts a stop to their movement. "Hey, you know what? There's another name you might know me by," he says, smirking yet again. "Star-Lord"

Korath curls his face up in confusion. "Who?"

Peter sighs deeply. "Star-Lord, man. Legendary outlaw." He turns to the henchmen. "Guys?" The men say nothing and on Korath's command, they usher you and Peter towards the door again.

"Oh, fuck this," you state, throwing a nod to Peter who nods right back, ready for action. You kick the man who was holding you back and take his gun from him. You use it to hit him on the head as well as shoot the few men next to him, knocking them out. You quickly dash for the door but feel like you can't leave without Peter. You take a look behind you. He activates his mask and shoots at the remaining henchmen. He tries to pick up the orb, struggling with Korath. Finally, Korath goes down and falls unconscious after another shot from Peter's gun. You're surprised at what a good team you the two of you make.

Switching on his rocket boots, Peter flies past you, grabbing you by the waist and scooping you up to fly with him. Only in the air for a few moments, you take this time to actually check him out. His mask is covering his face but you already know he is handsome with those mossy, green eyes and arrogant smirk. He has dirty, blonde hair that isn't super messy but dismantled enough to make it attractive. He has a tall build and you can feel his muscular arms press against you as you both land back on the ground.

Damn, you have the hots for a man who calls himself Star-Lord.

Part Three: Here

[shir0ch4ns-art]

Chapter 22: Voe

The sun scorched the arid land below. Its unforgiving rays kissed the dunes and the people who inhabited them. Bleaching one and darkening the other. This does not bother the denizens of the desert, in fact they thrive in it. Building bazaars and towns in oases. Eventually leading to a kingdom and palace. All entirely lead by women. The Gerudo were an ancient race, molded by the harshness of their home, and built to withstand anything.

Hylians on the other hand have to be absolutely mental to travel that far into the desert. Which was what Vincent thought as he tried to keep cool in one of the outer oasis bazaars. Although everyone was free to travel the desert, Gerudo town was very strict on their no man policy. And so he had to wait elsewhere for their informant. But by Din it was hot. Even in the shade it was still sweltering, that informant better arrive soon or he might just turn into a puddle in this heat. Now that he thought about it, whom, did they send here. There was no way a hylian can withstand this place for an hour, let alone a week.

As the troop pondered this someone came into his view. And his jaw dropped. A gorgeous gerudo woman had arrived with two servants. She was decked out in all sorts of finery; circlet, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings, you name it. She wore an elegant attire that blended perfectly with armor, with the exception of a sheer veil over the upper half of her face hiding minute details. Her body was toned and athletic, as is the case with the Gerudo, but somehow it seemed a bit more so than usual. Basically she was the prime example of a Gerudo elite. Now Vincent can see why so many would flock here, if to just be able to even have chance at glancing at one of these beauties.

Distracted he didn't realize that the woman was headed in his direction until she was practically in his face. All logic flew out of the window as he attempted to speak. All that came out was a high pitched squeak of "I'M MARRIED!" He remembered a tradition of the Gerudo was to go out and find men to marry or mate with. So he said what he thought was important at the time. Unfortunately he read the situation wrong as the gerudo stopped in her tracks and burst out laughing. A deep belly laugh that was bordering on hysterical.

Red faced from not just the heat anymore, Vincent slowly came the realization that this woman was most likely the informant he had to meet with. And that her laugh was starting to sound suspiciously familiar. Very familiar. Embarrassment turned to horror as he realized the laugh was the exact same laugh he had heard before if somewhat huskier now. He had to ask, because it was just impossible for it to be him, but just in case it was him. "Volga?!" He managed to squeak out. Goddesses he was going to turn into a mouse with all the squeaking he did.

Yet to his further mortification the woman managed to nod amidst "her" giddy fit.

"Wha- how- I mean- wha?!" Vincent spluttered. He was thoroughly confused and horrified at the knowledge that he was checking his friend out. He needed answers dindammit.

"I *wheeze* I was, oh man you should've seen your face. I was ch-ch-chosen t-t-to- I can't do this. Lana! Oh goddesses," she turned around to control her mirth as one of the "servants" walked forward. How the hell did he not notice she had blue hair. Oh, she didn't have blue hair, it was black now. Looking at the now raven sorceress he silently pleaded for her to explain what was going on.

Despite her own giggles she managed to explain the, quite frankly hilarious, situation. Apparently the princess had held a secret audience with one of the gerudo guards. She, Kara, had explained that they feared there was an interloper among their ranks but had no way of discreetly weeding them out as they all know each other. So she proposed to the princess that she offer someone to "tour" the palace and listen to the walls. But they also had to be well trained, otherwise they will not gain any respect. And a woman for, obvious reasons. Of course they will try to make the lucky female appear as gerudo as possible but there were a few problems with that. One being that naturally occurring redheads among Hylians was quite rare, especially in castletown and the area around it where most of their female soldier are from. Two, no Hylian woman was as tall as a gerudo, it was just too tall even with heels. And Impa could not go as she would stick out and she needed to be at the princess' side at all times in case of an attack.

The dilemma was resolved when one lost, red headed, 7 foot, knight barged in by accident looking for a different conference room he was suppose to be at. With a bit of magic and a wardrobe change he became Visalia, an ex guardswoman who was honorably discharged due to a grievous injury. She then traveled around Hyrule gaining an enormous amount of wealth due to the fact that she had found a vein of precious gems in Death Mountain. Feeling homesick she returned to see how much had changed in the palace and requested a tour of it and to stay for a week.

The rest, as they say, is history. She was well received, told all of the gossip, discreetly found the mole, and was to be escorted home, end of story.

"But what are you two doing here?" Vincent queried. Cia had revealed herself as the second, now blonde, "servant" while Lana explained the events leading up to the encounter.

"Oh, that's simple. We're Visalia's handmaidens to help her out with her 'grievous injury.'"

" The spell we used to turn him into a woman actually needs to be constantly redone so this was the least suspicious way we could do it." Cia cut in.

"Aaaannd you were ok with all this?" He turned towards the bespeckled knight.

"Of course. Why, should I not be?" The genuine look of confusion was what really got to Vincent. Of course the dragon knight wouldn't have a problem with this, his whole family was like this. How could he expect anything less.

"No, you shouldn't have any logical reason to not be ok with this," the troop then slyly queried, " Sooooo, what's it like?"

Knowing exactly what he meant the hybrid merely stated, "Eh, different. Not bad but not really my thing."

"Really, why?"

"My center of gravity has really shifted and I need to be more careful when I walk in tight spaces. And believe or not I actually can't fit in most places I used to be able to."

"Yeah. Big, busty, and hippy couldn't fit between two walls!" Cia guffawed.

"They were too close together!"

"Oh! Don't forget the hidden crawl space under the palace!" Lana squealed.

"You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that!" Volga shrieked. "Whatever, lets go to the inn and change me back. Kara had better hold up her end of the deal." Swishing around he sashayed off in the direction of an inconspicuous building to the left, jewelry swaying perfectly with the movement.

"...so, how long did he practice doing that?"

"Two days."

A/N: When I got to Gerudo Town in BoTW I made the joke that Volga could easily be a gerudo based on the guard's description: Tall, red hair, and abs. Of course I had to write this chapter.

Regarding Volga's lack of reaction to being a woman I realized I kinda created a perfect society for quite a few marginalized groups. The Reptilian Clan can virtually be anything they want to, there are no secondary sex characteristics and nobody really cares about how they identify themselves since they're mostly a militant group so if they can fight then it doesn't matter. Females can still lay eggs regardless if they had mated with a male or not and it's all done in secret so nothing is actually revealed. And everyone's adopted so there's no "oh but he's the father/she's the mother" backstab reveal. -\_(ツ)_/- Of course he wouldn't find anything wrong with being a woman for a few days.

Up Next: And they call it puppy love.