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kingedmundsroyalmurder · 1 year

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In the middle of Valancy Stirling's fourteenth year, a great excitement came to Deerwood. Valancy heard the news from Cousin Olive, who had heard from her parents. Olive pulled Valancy aside after school one day and told her with great importance, "Have you heard? A Princess is coming to live here!" Sara Crewe meets Valancy Stirling.

Chapter 3: Valancy and Sara meet at last and Olive makes an unfortunate discovery.

Please excuse the lack of formatting on AO3. There was a glitch in posting that ate all my italics, and fixing italics on my phone is a nightmare. I will edit it tonight when i'm at my computer again. The formatting has been fixed! Italics and proper paragraph spacing are restored.

Click the AO3 link for the whole fic this far, or read just chapter 3 below.

"Oh I am so sorry!" exclaimed Sara. Valancy saw that she held in her hand a pen whose cap now sat on her desk. It had been this noise, of Sara dropping the cap as she opened it, that had startled Valancy. "You looked so peaceful, and I was so trying to stay quiet and not disturb you. I was only about to write to my friend Ermengarde."

Valancy flushed red. The very idea that someone like Sara would make an effort not to disturb her! "It's all right," she said. Then, because Sara still looked distressed, she groped for something else to add. She could think of nothing except, "Is it time for school to start again?"

The moment the question left her lips she berated herself for it. Of course it was not time yet. The rest of the class had yet to start coming inside, and the clock on the wall above Miss Bryant's desk showed plainly that there were still ten minutes left until the bell. She braced herself for condescension.

But Sara only shook her head. "No. I wanted to come in from the cold. It is still such a luxury to me, to come in from the weather when I want to."

Valancy dearly wanted to ask what Sara meant by this. Surely someone like her could do whatever she pleased. Certainly Olive never had to go out into the cold unless she wanted to -- on especially cold days Uncle Wellington would wrap her in blankets and drive her the few blocks to school in his buggy, so that she did not have to risk catching cold on the walk to school. Sara, who was even richer than Olive, must have had the same luxuries. But Sara looked sad, her large eyes downcast and her pale hands clasped together tightly, and so Valancy once again tried to change the subject. "Is it very cold in India?" she asked.

"No, never," Sara said. She laughed a little. "The first time I ever saw snow I was seven years old."

This seemed nearly unbelievable to Valancy, who had grown up with yearly blizzards that coated the world in glittering ice. Sara seemed to read this on her face, because she laughed again. It was a kind laugh, one that made Valancy feel as though she were being invited to share a joke, not made into one. "When I was a little girl, my papa would tell me stories about London. The place, I called it. He was preparing me to go to school, and didn't want me to be afraid. He told me about winter, but I didn't understand what it was to be cold. I fancied it would be enchanting, to dance in the snow in bare feet, like I did in the rain during the wet months."

"Did you try it?" Valancy wanted to know. She tried to picture seven-year-old Sara dancing in the snow. An image came into her mind, but it looked rather more like Port Lawrence than London had any right to.

"No." Sara shook her head. "We arrived at about this time of year, and I was so shocked by the temperature that I vowed never to set foot outside again."

This did nothing to clarify her earlier comment about coming in from the weather when she wanted to, but Sara had finally stopped looking so melancholy, and Valancy did not want to cause her further pain. Instead, she said, "Did it rain a great deal in India?"

Sara's eyes lit up. "During the wet months, yes," she said. "We would have monsoons for weeks. Great storms, with wind and rain so strong you couldn't see more than two paces in front of you sometimes. I used to sit with my papa in our parlor and watch the storms through the big windows. The wind would be so strong that some of the trees would bend over sideways. I used to pretend that there were fairies who played in the wind, and that they must have their time to play outside just as I did when it was dry." Her eyes had gone soft and distant, as though she were looking at something that no one else could see. Although Valancy did not know it, it was the look she herself wore when she retreated to her Blue Castle, and it was this look that Sara had recognized on her face.

"I remember one time," Sara said. "I was very small still, perhaps four or five. I had been playing outside with my ayah when a storm came in. She scooped me up and brought me in just as the biggest wind gust swept through the courtyard. She said it was lucky she had me in her arms, for otherwise I'd surely have been carried off like a seed pod in the wind. I told her I thought being swept up by the wind would be a grand adventure, although I was sorry she and my papa were too big to come along." She laughed, and this time Valancy joined in. She imagined tiny four-year-old Sara, with her black hair and her wide eyes, flying through the air like an oversize elm seed.

Suddenly Sara's eyes widened. "Oh I do beg your pardon," she exclaimed. "I have just been horribly rude. I haven't introduced myself!"

"I know who you are," Valancy assured her.

"But that's not the same thing at all," Sara said firmly. "My name is Sara Crewe."

"I'm Valancy Stirling," Valancy said, a little bewildered.

Sara smiled brightly. "I am delighted to make your acquaintance, Valancy," she said.

For the first time in her life, Valancy felt grateful that her relatives had spent so many hours drilling her on good manners. "I am very pleased to meet you," popped entirely unbidden out of her mouth.

"There," Sara said. "We are properly acquainted. Now we can be friends."

Valancy's mouth dropped open into a most unladylike expression, one that would have made Cousin Stickles remind her sharply that it was unseemly to have feelings had she not been safe at home. "You want to be friends with me?" Valancy burst out, too stunned to watch her words.

"If you'll have me for a friend," said Sara, unaware of how ludicrous a response this was.

"Why me?" Valancy insisted.

"Because you didn't fall over yourself to impress me," Sara said simply. "I want friends who like me, not just my or Uncle Tom's money. After all," and here her voice took on a distant, pensive tone, "you never know when everything could change."

This made even less sense. Before Valancy could even begin to formulate a reply, Miss Bryant entered the schoolroom to collect the bell. Sara smiled brightly at Valancy, who did not manage to smile back, and took her seat at the front of the room.

***

By the time she went to bed that night, Valancy had convinced herself that the whole thing had been a mistake on Sara's part. What must have happened, she decided, was that Sara did not realize who she was. Olive would, of course, have only referred to her as Doss when talking about her, and Sara was new enough in town that she must not have realized that there was only one Stirling family.

For a moment, Valancy considered not telling her of her error. In those brief minutes of conversation she had gotten a glimpse of what it must be like to be Sara's friend, and she could not deny to herself how badly she wanted it. Sara was kind and clever and never once made Valancy feel unwanted. But then she shook her head. No. She would not lie to Sara, not even by omission. Besides, if she didn't tell Sara the truth, one of the other girls undoubtedly would, and that would be far worse. Valancy imagined Olive's look of sly triumph as she told Sara that Valancy and poor Cousin Doss were one and the same. The other girls would laugh, and Jane Bryant would give Valancy a look of pity that she ever thought she could have been liked, and Valancy would have to slip away, humiliated and alone. No. Far better to tell Sara herself, where at least there would be no one around to witness it.

So resolved, Valancy lay down in bed. She entered the Blue Castle the moment her eyes closed, of course, but found that it had begun to storm, forcing the duel to be pushed to a different day. Instead, Valancy took to her correspondence. She looked at her writing desk for a moment then, with a confidence she never felt in her daily life, sat down and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper.

Dear Princess Sara, she wrote. It would be my greatest honor to host you for a time here at the Blue Castle.

***

In all her life, Olive Stirling had never had a day like that Wednesday. It started perfectly normally, with nothing to hint at the upheaval to come. She rose at her usual time and carefully did her curls. Sara Crewe had set a new fashion at school and, although Olive was not fully convinced that the style suited her face, she was determined to experiment until she found a version of Sara's curled and pinned hairdo that flattered her. The effect she achieved that morning was very nearly satisfactory, and she spent so long tweaking her pins trying to get it perfect that she almost missed breakfast. Her mother had to call her three times before Olive reluctantly abandoned her glass.

The temperature had continued to drop overnight, and Olive walked to school amid a crisp morning frost. But her boots were warm and she had a new wool coat with fur on the inside and around her neck. She wore extra petticoats under her good school dress, which made the skirt puff out almost as though she had the shape of a woman. The only disappointment was in her gloves. Olive wore thick mittens knitted for her by Aunt Alberta. They were fine mittens, and a week ago she had been perfectly contented with them, but now they looked old and drab to her eyes. She resolved to speak with her parents that very afternoon about procuring a muff like Sara had. One that matched her coat, she thought. After all, Olive too deserved nice things sometimes.

She arrived at school a little later than usual, and found her friends already waiting. Jane Bryant, who was a year older than Olive but deferred to her at every turn. Blonde Alice Patterson, who liked to stand next to Olive for the pretty picture that their contrasting hair colors made and her sister Amy. Augusta Green, Olive's particular friend, who always had the best gossip to share. And, of course, the newest addition to Olive's gang, Sara Crewe herself. Sarah stood in her thick fur coat and matching muff, her dark blue velvet skirts barely brushing the icy pavement. The cold had put a flush into her pale cheeks, and her grey-green eyes seemed to sparkle against them. She wore her hood up over her head, protecting her ears from the weather. Olive made a note to look at Sara's hair once they entered the schoolroom, to see how she did her pins.

The girls welcomed Olive eagerly into their knot. Amy had been telling the group about her father's latest catastrophe -- Mr. Patterson fancied himself something of an inventor, and he was forever getting into scrapes as his latest contraption fell apart in his face. Olive's mother had strictly forbidden her from going over to the Patterson's house, after she had returned from tea one day with ink all over her skirt and a story about Mr. Patterson's newest attempt at perfecting the self-inking pen.

The invention this week was no less dramatic. Mr. Patterson had tired of how long it took to get his toast to its proper state, and had determined to invent a way to make the process faster. From Amy's account, it was going poorly, and Mr. Patterson had gone to his business in Port Lawrence that morning with only the charred remains of a heel of bread for sustenance. Amy was a good story teller, and she had the whole group in laughter when the bell rang, although Sara was looking contemplative, as though she felt sorry for Mr. Patterson. Olive did not. Her parents had long said that he deserved every misfortune that came his way as a result of his tomfooleries. Inventors, Wellington Stirling had proclaimed once, were one of society's necessary evils. You couldn't have progress without them, but you certainly didn't want them to settle too close. The Pattersons lived three streets down from Olive and her parents, and that was more than close enough.

The bell rang just as Amy was finishing the story, and she rather spoiled the conclusion in her rush to get it all out. It was then that Olive got her first inkling of how the day would go. Doss and her mother had arrived a few minutes earlier, as usual, and Doss had slipped into the schoolroom straight away, as she always did. So she was already seated when the rest of the girls made their way to their desks. Sara paused on her way to her desk to greet Doss. This in and of itself would have been cause for comment. But what rattled Olive deeply was that Doss not only greeted her back but, with a glance back at Olive, said, "I need to talk to you later."

There was not time to speak further. Already, Miss Bryant was looking at the pupils still standing with a stern gaze. Olive hurried to her desk, although she could not help one final backwards glance at Doss. Her cousin sat hunched in on herself, her thin little shoulders standing out sharply under her ugly brown wool dress. She looked the same as she always did, and Olive could not think of even one thing that Doss would want to say to Sara.

Olive found it impossible to concentrate on her lessons that morning. How could she possibly be expected to learn about Julius Caesar when Doss, of all people, had presented her with a mystery? Miss Bryant was obliged to repeat her question about Caesar's legions three times before Olive heard it well enough to answer.

At long last the bell rang for the end of morning lessons. Olive made a show of having lost something in her desk, so that Augusta and the Patterson girls would go out ahead of her. Soon enough, only she, Doss, and Sara remained in the schoolroom. Olive, head still bent over her desk as she searched for her entirely fictious handkerchief, held her breath.

"You made a mistake yesterday," Doss said, and Olive frowned. What possibly right did Doss think she had, to say something like that to Sara? "You said you wanted to be friends, but you don't know who I really am."

Olive let out her breath. That explained things. She had thought it queer, when Sara excused herself from the group yesterday noon, but Sara was always doing or saying queer things. Good old Doss, she thought with a sudden and uncharacteristic rush of fondness for her cousin. Of course she wouldn’t let Sara humiliate herself by being seen in public with Doss in her old brown dress and silly, old fashioned cap. Really, Olive felt almost grateful to her for stepping in quickly, and she thought perhaps she would allow Doss to walk with them that Saturday, if she wasn't home with cold again.

But Sara said only, "You're Olive's cousin, aren't you?"

"So you know then," Doss said. "Of course, Olive must have told you after school. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Sara said. "What does that have to do with anything at all?"

"No one is friends with me," Doss said bluntly. "Everyone wants to be friends with you. I thought you must not have known who I was, to talk to me instead of anyone else here."

Sara laughed that low, queer laugh of hers. "I told you yesterday," she said. "I want a friend who isn't trying to impress me just because I have money."

Olive's breath caught, and her face flushed as though she had been insulted. She felt as though both girls were staring directly at her, and she redoubled her efforts to pretend to look for that pen she knew she had dropped somewhere. By the time she found a stray hairpin on the ground and, tired of theatre, snatched it up as precisely the thing she'd been searching for this whole time, Sara had Doss by the hand and was telling her something or other. Olive did not care to stay and listen. She marched out of the schoolroom, head high and eyes bright with anger.

"Where's Sara?" Alice Patterson asked. "She's not ill, is she?" Alice was a worrying sort, always concerned that tragedy was just around the corner. Living with a man like her father, it was a reasonable attitude to take. But Olive had no patience to indulge Alice's worries today.

"I'm sure I have no idea," she said tightly.

"What on earth has happened to you?" Alice wanted to know. "Surely your button couldn't have been that important?"

"Nothing has happened," Olive said. "I just don't care to spend my every waking moment pandering to someone who doesn't want my company."

The other girls looked at each other. All of them knew with certainty something momentous had occurred inside the schoolroom, but it was just as clear that Olive was in no mood to discuss it. After a moment, Augusta brought out the catalog her mother had just received and engaged the others in a discussion of the latest fashions from Montreal. Olive, though she remained furious, eventually consented to be coaxed back into conversation, although the other girls took great care to avoid even thinking about the missing Sara Crewe.

#Blue castle book club

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dwimpala-67 · 2 years

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Artpost for ‘Not One For Convention’

I had so much fun working with @jld71 yet again. It seems like we keep claiming each other's works accidentally. I think its probably because we're so comfortable working with each other. She's awesome and I love her.

The story she wrote this year is simply great. Yet another example of fine writing from her. Do check out her story and give her some love for writing a story as beautiful as this one and letting us enjoy it all for free. She's amazing for doing that. Let's appreciate her. Much love, Jen.

Thank you for trusting me with you story once again.Link to story is here.

Warnings for spoilers. Advised to read the fic before you view this post. Shout out to the mods @spndystopiabang for opening up this challenge for another round.

Note: Images found on Google. All credit goes to original photographers for the original photos. The edits made are purely for entertainment purposes only and intend no harm. I don't claim any copyright over them.

1. The Banner:

When it came to making the cover banner, I knew I had to convey the mood and the theme of the fic so that it could intrigue the reader. The rain reflects the somber mood of the fic. The huge wooden box conveys the dystopian setting which piques the interest of the reader and a lawyer Jared standing in his yard - a little annoyed and unsure of himself. It's going to be a wild ride. I had to find a perfect background setting for the backyard because the fic opens up with Jared finding a gift wrapped in a wooden box waiting for him in his backyard. It is written so subtly and we don't even predict that the story is about take a turn. A few artistic filters, adjusting color tones and edit tools used in PhotoscapeX and the banner was ready!

2. The Scene with surprise inside the wooden box.

The story narrates a wooden box also known as omega box where an Omega is wrapped in and gifted to their alpha. The narration is so touching that I couldn't resist creating this piece. Omega Jensen - obedient, fearful and miserable - waiting for his alpha, all cramped up in the backyard, getting wet in the rain is something so touching to me so I added the filters and created bubbles and water droplets that could give the idea that Jensen is soaked wet, looking up at Jared, a little hopeful and a little fearful. I had to get the perspective angle right. Its still not 100% but I tried. A huge wooden box with Jensen sitting inside. I had to change the facial expressions and use proper tools to get the effect right. Used 'Night' filter and proper shades to indicate that it's dark when Jared find finally finds him. I struggled getting the position right for Jensen to actually look like he's stuffed all cramped in the box. Had to use multiple tools to adjust the body imagery.

3. The scene in Jared's office.

So, the tradition is for the omegas to kneel in front of their alpha in public places. Jared refuses to be stereotypical and cares for Jensen. He gives him a pillow so his knees wouldn't hurt and he also bars anyone else from disrespecting Jensen. He's such a caring alpha. So when Jen requested me to create this scene, I went for it. Jared in a heated argument with another alpha lecturing him about treating omegas in traditional way and Jared disagreeing with them. The expression on Jared's face of that being a little annoyed and tense with Jensen looking up to him, a controlled but hopeful look on his face. Again, did the facial expressions using the tools in PhotoscapeX. The background of office was created using stock stickers in Picskit.

4. The scene with Jared and Jensen finally kissing.

I don't have to explain anything. It's just them finally acknowledging their feelings for each other and giving in to their desires. It;s just such a 'Awww' moment. I have to admit though creating this piece was hard. Took me hours to get everything right. For this scene I used 'PicsArt' and 'Photo Director' as the tool.

5. Happily Ever After.

The scene with a smiling Jared looking at Jensen playing with their kid in the backyard is so endearing. This was the first piece I actually created for the story. A happy Jensen and a smiley Jared is the best thing ever. This was created using 'PicsArt' because I had to get the backyard setting right.

6. Chapter Headers: A clash of world for the non traditional Alpha and a resigned Omega and their journey to finding their happily ever after. The colors reflect the moods of the character. Red-orange -ish for the angry, tense, hot headed and yet loving Alpha and the calming blue for the docile, miserable and hopeful Omega and the ring of fire reflecting the fiery passion between them.Because of limit on number of photos I can post on Tumblr, I’m sharing only the sample chapter header without any text. There are total 8 chapter headers. You can find the entire artpost on Ao3, LiveJournal, or Dreamwidth.

That's it folks! Hope you enjoyed this post! Please do let me know how did you like this set of artwork? I'd love to read your comments. Thanks once again. I had a blast creating these.

#spn dystopia bang #j2 fanart #spn fan art #spn rpf #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #fanfic

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autumnslance · 4 years

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would you be willing to make a masterpost of all your sharlayan research and headcanons? please please please and THANK YOU if you do

I can certainly try! A lot of my info is from what little we have so far, and my own fics are where a lot of my headcanons go to live, with little snippets about various characters here and there in my scattered lore posts, as well as stuff I’ve collected from other players.

Other Resources In Louisoix’s Wake - The twins’ official Calamity short story on the Lodestone. One Name, One Promise - Thancred’s backstory, from Limsa to Sharlayan training to his early assignment in Ul’dah and then early Shadowbringers. Mirke’s Menagerie - A compilation of lore info from in game, lorebooks, panels, interviews, short stories, etc. There are about 4 or 5 Sharlayan-specific posts @mirkemenagerie has made.

Encyclopaedia Eorzea - If you can get your hands on copies (physical officially; digitally is Unofficial so far as I know), I recommend it! They’re both good reads, though EE 1 is the one with a blurb on Sharlayan as a nation.

Posts by Other People - that I have collected Leveva Comment About Archon Loaf - Keeping in mind Sharlayan’s bad cuisine has been canonical for years per lorebook 1. They care more about ease of eating while studying, also seeing culinary arts as an academic field, not a practical daily exercise. Lorebook 1 Astrologian Lore - screencaps from the lorebook. Phaedra’s Teen Scion Sharlayan Antics fic - I am happy to take responsibility for inspiring @phaedra-mero to write this delightful scene.

My Own Posts Red Mage Research - Includes books from Gubal Library. Scion Ages - Pointing out the ages of the Scions, particularly the Archons.

My Fics - Sometimes there’s more HC musings in the Notes and Comments. I try to stay close to canon, at least as it is when the fic was written. Rogue’s Prelude - Multichapter, teen Thancred meets Louisoix, Yda, and Papalymo. Written a year prior to Thancred’s official ShB story above. Aetherology & Skulking Boots-Beginnings - Y’shtola agrees to tutor Thancred in how to speak properly as teenagers in the colony. Chin Up - Yda gives Thancred advice as youths in the colony. Dreams of Home-Lucubration - Yda, Lyse, and Thancred in the colony. Younger Sister - Thancred’s relationships with the Hext sisters over time. In Violet’s Wake-Louisoix’s Children - A Master Matoya PoV from StB patches. There’s a brief chapter with her and Y’mhitra in Dreams of Home, too. Excerpts from other posts - things that ended up as commentary on other threads, with some editing since.

From a thread that started off as about Thancred’s Gear from ARR to HW:

Sharlayan is a nation on an island NW of Eorzea proper; the Sharlayan everyone we know hails from was a colony that became a city-state a few hundred years back and part of the Eorzean Alliance, in the Dravanian Hinterlands, where Idyllshire is now. After the fall of Ala Mhigo and then the Battle of Silvertear Skies, the Forum (their ruling body) decided to abandon the city and return to the motherland, a process that took 5 years before they all just teleported out in a day. Except Matoya, and those archons that worked for Louisoix and that he asked to stay and go to the remaining 3 Alliance cities. This would have been 15 years before ARR/Heavensward.

The Students of Baldesion are also Sharlayan; the Isle of Val, their headquarters, being under that nation’s banner. Sons of St Coinach are another offshoot; Rammbroes (Crystal Tower raid story) was originally part of Louisoix’s Circle of Knowing (who eventually became the Scions), and Y’shtola’s sister Y’mhitra is one of the Sons and part of the Summoner storyline.

Thancred got involved as a youth–by trying to pick Louisoix’s pocket, and impressing the old man with his skills, and so Louisoix brought Thancred back with him to give the kid an opportunity for study. Yda and Lyse escaped Ala Mhigo, and with help from Papalymo, who was part of an effort to help refugees seeking shelter in Sharlayan, they ended up there, and Yda is the one who actually became an archon.

Most of the other senior Scions, so far as I know, are native to Sharlayan, either the motherland or the colony. The Leveilleur twins were born in the Hinterlands Sharlayan, but raised in the motherland, as they were less than a year old when the exodus happened. The university they and Krile attended is the Studium. Becoming an Archon seems to be a separate process not everyone goes through, and is a demonstration of mastery in chosen field(s) of study. That’s the significance of the tattoos some of the Scions have on their necks or faces.

Sharlayan is basically a nation particularly focused on academia; the trouble is, for the last couple decades, it’s been controlled by a faction of isolationists who would rather hoard knowledge and sit in the proverbial ivory tower looking down on non-Sharlayans, claiming others would abuse their knowledge, and that they should simply observe history and not try to affect it. Louisoix, Matoya, and the organizations they associate with (the Circle of Knowing/Scions; Sons of St Coinach, the Students of Baldesion, etc), think that viewpoint is stupid and go against it. A big part of the Astrologian storyline is dealing with Sharlayans who dislike Leveva’s family sharing Sharlayan astrology with outsiders, for example.

What sort of relationship Sharlayan and Ishgard had before the exodus isn’t really detailed much; both were pretty insular and focused on their own issues (like many of Eorzea’s city-states outside of crises), and the Dravanian threat at the time might have kept them pretty separated by land. Sharlayan was responsible for Eorzea’s aetherytes and keeping the aethernets working, though, and it’s suggested they still handle that post-Calamity to some degree. We pay fees for teleports because reconstruction and upkeep is pricey for all of the city-states.

The Isle of Val was the headquarters of the Students of Baldesion, Krile’s family and order, and was a Sharlayan institution. It’s destruction/missing status happened during the ARR patches, and Krile was saved by Hydaelyn as she has the Echo (as an aside: you can hear Minfilia talking to Krile via linkpearl in the background on the Enterprise after rescuing the Scions from Castrum Centri before Ultima, and she constantly refers to and worries about Krile after the Isle of Val goes missing, but then plot happened to Minfilia so we never see them together as friends). The Ascians seemed to have a hand in the Isle’s disappearance…but there’s story about the fate of the Isle of Val and the Students of Baldesion in Stormblood’s Eureka plotline.

As for the Archon Marks, if they do confer social benefits, aside from being an easily seen status symbol for some highly skilled & educated folks, it hasn’t been mentioned yet in concrete terms, though we know the rank has benefits (like access to forbidden lore). Mostly they are a way to tell at a glance who has obtained the rank. It’s like if people with doctorates had a tattoo of their degree symbol on them so you knew just by looking.

As of Shadowbringers 5.4, we know that to become an Archon a thesis is required, and it’s a great deal more work than a Studium graduate’s final thesis. It strikes me that Studium (which some of the Scion Archons also attended) is like undergrad or Masters studies, while Archon is a Doctorate level.

I personally headcanon that the arcane marks confer some minor, slowed visible aging and other vague magical benefits befitting their rank in Sharlayan society. Really, that’s a way for the devs to avoid new models and add to the confusion in 1.0′s intros and the running joke about Y’shtola’s age, BUT let’s come up with an in-world thing, too. There has to be some explanation for Thancred’s perpetual baby face when he’s not RPing a Mountain Hobo ;) Also we really don’t know for sure how old Matoya is. Just old.

Lorebook 2 Notes:

Mikoto Jinba (Return to Ivalice, Save the Queen storylines) worked on aetheric siphon research with Moenbryda, and at 29 is the youngest Raen with the rank of Archon in recent history. It was Jessie’s connections that brought her to Cid’s attention and got her involved in the Return to Ivalice story.

Ejika Tsunjika (Eureka storyline) went to school at the same time as Krile and Leveilleur twins, endorsed by Galuf Baldesion, who Ejika later chose to work under. He’s resentful of Krile and the twins as Ejika himself is of humble origins and had to struggle to get to where he is, yet hides his Archon brands with high collars as he refuses to believe himself unique or exceptional.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Lore #Sharlayan #Archons #Scions of the Seventh Dawn #Anonymous

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actual-fucking-clown · 3 years

Text

Take your time then.

Aizawa x gender neutral reader

Story under the cut :)

Unedited but like edited but still not properly edited :)

Hope you enjoy!!!

a/n: it’s been a hot min since I’ve written a fic. I think the last time i was 14 and it was shit and on wattpad. Ha. I hate myself. N e way, I was recently writing some shit for an au me and my friend thought up and in the back of my mind I was like, “you should start writing fics again bc this is kinda fun”, soo lo and behold I made a post asking if anyone would be interested, shared a little too much personal shit in it but whatever, and have now decided to write this mother fucker. (3/25/21)

a/n: not sure if anyone will care about this series of a/n’s but I’m just chronicling thoughts ig. rewriting rn bc my first draft was short and ass. Also I’m thinking about opening requests after this is posted, will go into detail in a diff post maybe. (3/28/21)

a/n: deleted everything, rewriting. I just want to make something that might be decent and if I can give that feeling, y’know those chills you get when you read something utterly gorgeous, but I’m bad at writing. sadge (3/28/21, like several hours later)

a/n: ugh (4/1/21)

a/n: ugh pt 2 electric boogaloo. I can’t seem to move forward with the writing. I realized something like this might happen bc to solve a problem feelings need to be discussed and I fucking hate doing that so you can see where I’m fucking up lmaooooo (4/2/21)

a/n: I read angst to fuel my writing brain. So, read some angst, finally writing agian. This first section is probs as long as the story itself LMFAO(4/5/21)

Started: (3/25/21) Finished: (4/5/21)

Warnings: uh angst, curse words, like a lot, (i saw someone else put this as a warning, do I actually need it?), avoiding problems instead of actually facing them, mentions of shit so-so parenting, mentions of not being able to live up to high expectations, y’know, the works

Synopsis: Aizawa takes in Eri without running it by you first and expects you to be okay with it. That’s funny. He was wrong.

Can I preface this with a thought? I’m going to anyway,

all the fics I read paint him as the sweetest partner and I’m sure he is but I think they miss out on how blunt he is and his whole “Mr. Rationality” thing. So as much as I adore him I think there are situations that he’d be a bit more colder towards, a bit more straightforward about. Maybe even like a bit insensitive about but maybe bc he doesn’t have the full picture or something. so I guess this is another warning but aizawa is a little insensitive in the beginning (but like not really but kinda. it’s complicated)

Rain pattered softly against the window. The smell of some old random Bath and Bodyworks candle you’d dug out from a box you’d never bothered to unpack smothered the room. Some Netflix show idly played on a low volume on your computer, you’d lost interest in watching tv awhile ago. You needed a break. After the eventful month you’d been having you really needed this.

Now of course your whole year so far had been eventful. What with all the villain attacks on you and Shouta’s class and the kidnapping of one of your students, to just dealing with the more mundane problems with your students. No. You had no problem with that. The villains, although not easy, were something you were trained to handle. The smaller problems with your students weren’t arduous either, after all you weren’t too much older than them.

When reflecting on your situation, from and outside perspective it could be seen as the straw the broke the camels back, which sure, makes sense. After all, you’re bound to be stressed out by everything else, so why would this seemingly insignificant thing weigh heavier than a villain attack? Well if that is the situation why does this single straw feel like it weighs a ton? This is not that. This is not culmination of the events of this year draining the life from you. This is something entirely different. A panic inducing life change that completely took you by surprise mixed with your inability to actually face your problems.

You don’t blame them. You can’t. They’ve done nothing wrong. A child. A small, probably mentally scarred child is your problem. Well not her personally but the fear taking care of her instills in you. Despite working in the field that you do, you cannot for the life of you handle actual children. Sure you’re a little awkward with your class but at least they’re young adults and (vaguely) mature and independent to a certain extent. The fact that your long term boyfriend just came back one day, small child in tow and said “Hey I’ve gotta look after this one now” not verbatim obviously, for a lack of better words, fucked you up. He basically solo adopted a kid and, let’s be honest, he probably expected you to help out. But how could you? How could this man look at you and think “I want this person to help me raise an already fucked up child?” Ok sure, he doesn’t at first give off the “I’m totally father figure material” vibe but in the end he is extremely competent. You on the other hand, not so much.

You’d never been good with children. Tried your best to steer clear of them. Didn’t matter the place, didn’t matter who’s kid, you couldn’t handle them. You would just stand there, awkwardly, not entirely sure of what to do and petrified that there was the possibility of making some mistake which would upset the child and then oh wow look, your head got chopped right of your shoulders. That’s hyperbole of course but it does sum up the insurmountable fear that overcomes you whenever you have to deal with a child. So considering the fact that your long term boyfriend had suddenly decided to adopt and not at least warn you, didn’t sit right with you.

So, the best and most obvious choice, was to avoid your problem. Avoid Shouta, avoid Eri. Avoid the mention of them and you, avoid it all. And honestly you’d done pretty well so far. You were able to have as little contact with them as possible considering the close proximity of your living quarters in the teacher’s dorms. After all they were legally supposed to give you two separate rooms but you never actually used yours, well until now. You were living it up honestly. Did you feel awful? Of course. He is your boyfriend after all and you were sure Eri doesn’t deserve your cold shoulder but this is probably for the best. What could you offer her? You weren’t sure that you were a good role model for her or anyone for that matter. What did you know about raising kids? it’s not like you had parents to set a proper example for you. Of course they might have shown you what not to do but where do you go from there? Is shit like that really avoidable? You don’t want to be like them. You strive to be better but what if you can’t be. There’s also the added bonus of the fact that raising a kid seems taxing on a relationship. Now matter how strong you were sure that the stress of a kid could break a relationship down that then festers into something toxic and unrecognizable. You didn’t want that. God you couldn’t let that happen. No. This was definitely for the better.

Of course Aizawa didn’t feel the same. He was confused on why his partner had been so blatantly avoiding him. Did he do something wrong? He doesn’t remember doing anything that might’ve upset you. So why now? Why pull away now? He had to get down to the bottom of this but catching you was the hard part. You had been taking on more work, offering more assistance to the other teachers, picking up extra patrols, doing everything and anything to stay away from Shouta. It took him a month but he finally caught up to you. You were tired, worn out he knew that. Instead of loading yourself with work you’d decided to hole yourself up in your room. It was now or never.

You were pulled out of your peace at the sound of a few gentle knocks to your door. You really didn’t want to get it. You honestly couldn’t be bothered.

“(N/n)? Are you in there?” He hadn’t gotten it wrong right? He hadn’t been too distracted earlier and missed you leaving right?

“What’s up?” You hummed from your place by the window, not bothering to actually open the door.

“Can I come in?” Shouta asked, voice soft. You could barely hear him above the patter of the rain and the low humming of your laptop.

“Uh, no, kinda busy. Got loads of work to do. Need to focus, sorry. Maybe later?” You hesitantly spoke. Not sure if you were convincing enough.

Apparently you weren’t.

He sighed. “It’s been “later” for an entire month. Please (Y/n) just let me in. Whatever this is we can talk it out.” You had predicted that eventually Shouta would start to try to crack down on whatever the issue was but you didn’t expect it so soon.

“Uh...no?” You tried, hoping that maybe he’d just give up but that wasn’t Shouta.

“No, you don’t get that option, now please, open the door.” Although it was still soft his voice had taken a more stern tone.

“Oh no I’m dead. I guess I can’t open the door. What a shame. I guess the only way to talk with me now is in the pits of hell.” You quipped, trying to lessen the tension that already ran thick.

“(Y/n).” Aizawa sighed.

“Jeez fine. Talk about pushy.” You quipped once more to no avail.

Opening the door you were met with, well exactly what you expected. He stood there, arms crossed, a stern yet gentle look in his eyes, his lips pulled into a slight frown.

“Come in.” You mumbled as you stepped further into your room.

“So tell me. What’s wrong?” The sentence stirred so much. Of course you wanted to tell him. You wanted to spill your guts to the man you loved in hopes of comfort but you just can’t. You know you’ll just scare him off. You know you’ll make things worse.

So you stay silent.

He says nothing as he grabs your hands gently and leads you over to your bed. He sits the two of you down on the edge, muting the movie on the laptop sitting behind him.

“You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you right?” Shouta sent you a warm smile.

You weren’t very comfortable with discussing your feelings sometimes, it mostly stemmed from the fact that you never really could discuss them with anyone growing up which made it harder to confide in anyone now, as at this point bottling things up was a habit. But this was also just something that you were sure that you couldn’t talk about.

Silence answered him once again.

Now he took sometime to think about his approach, think about what could’ve happened that made you pull away. What did he do that was different from his norm? He was genuinely stumped and the fact that you weren’t helping him confused him even more.

You decided to take this time to lament the situation too. What was he going to do? Should you actually tell him or play it off? If you play it off will he still insist that something is wrong? If you tell him will he leave you? If you don’t tell him will he leave you? You risked a glance at him, he was still deep in thought.

Why did you have to adopt this fucking kid without at least warning me?

“What?” Your head shot up at the sound of his shocked voice.

“What?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“Eri’s the problem...?” He spoke slowly, not entirely sure if he’d heard you right.

“Did I say that out loud?” You squeaked.

“I’m pretty sure you mumbled something along the lines of “why’d you have to adopt that fucking kid”.” Shouta said, unsure if he’d heard wrong. Wanting to have heard wrong.

“No no no no no no! It’s not like that! I mean it is like that but not like that!” You frantically waved your hands in hopes of defusing the situation.

The way he looked at you made you want to cry. You felt horrible. You felt like the biggest asshole in the world and, at this point you probably were. He looked at you with such a look of heartbreak and disappointment and confusion it made you sick to your stomach. You felt light-headed and started shaking. You were right. You were right. You were always right. God why did you have to be right! Why did you have to be like this? Scared of raising a fucking child! It was asinine and irrational and you could probably move past it but thanks to your stupid fucking brain you just sealed your fate.

You scooted away from him still waving your hands frantically as no’s tumbled endlessly from your lips. You tried sputtering an apology, anything so that he wouldn’t look at you like that but nothing stuck. Nothing was comprehensible. Nothing worked. Nothing would work. Nothing will work. You were hopeless. It was hopeless.

“If it isn’t like how it seems then tell it to me straight.” Shouta finally spoke up.

You took a second to come down from your panic. You steeled your nerves as much as possible before you spoke.

“Um well, I have nothing against her it’s just that a little heads up would’ve been nice? I’m not all that great with kids so this is just kind of weird is all.” You were purposefully being vague in hopes that he’d understand what you meant and also maybe drop it.

“Not great with kids? You’re literally a teacher.” He pointed out.

“Yeah you know but she’s like a kid kid and let’s be honest I’m not too great with the students either.” You awkward laughed. So he wasn’t getting it.

“Wha-you’re fine with the students and I’m sure you’ll be fine with Eri, there was no reason to avoid me over this.” Shouta sighed. As good as he was with dealing with people, he was equally as shit. Or maybe it was just the fact that you gave him very little to work with. It was probably a bit of both. Still his dismissiveness was not helping you right now.

“No, no, no, no. I think I’ll stay here. Uh, good luck with your parenthood escapades and sorry to leave you high and dry like this but that’s going to have to be a no from me.” You rambled. He seemed to be getting a little tired of this.

“(Y/n) stop being irrational. She’s not even our kid I’m just looking after her for now. Why are you being difficult? I told you you were fine with the students and you’ll be fine with Eri, what else do you want to hear?” Shouta grumbled.

“Well uh I don’t know, uh...” You trailed off, this seemed to be going in a direction you really didn’t want it to go. A slight hostility settling in the air.

At your lack of a proper answer he clicked his tongue. He took a moment to reassess the situation. There had to be something he was missing. After all you were getting really worked up but if you weren’t going to talk to him there was nothing he could do. He shook his head before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“(Y/n), please, please, just be honest with me. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can tell me. But I won’t be able to understand if you don’t.” Aizawa sighed, deciding that getting worked up about this was not the way to go, especially when you seemed to be especially distraught.

“Uh, god the thing is I don’t know entirely what to say to put the shitshow in my head into perspective.” You mumbled, trying desperately to figure out what to say that could clear the air but nothing seemed to be coherent enough.

“Take your time.” He decided that this was the best approach to things, making sure neither party got too worked up lest this turn into a fight.

The rain continued to patter softly against the window and your candle continued to burn an slightly off floral-ish scent. A deafening silence hung in the air because even though he was being as patient as possible some of his frustration leaked through, it was bound to though so you couldn’t exactly blame him. After all, you were probably equally as frustrated with yourself too.

“I’m just not good in a position like this. I’m not good with kids, especially someone like Eri who’s already so broken. You have that nurturing nature, it comes natural to you but I’m not on that level. I don’t know the first thing about caring for a child let alone one as already traumatized as her. I’d fuck it up and only make things worse. I don’t want you to reassure me that I’ll be okay with her, I want you to understand that I’m not comfortable with this and that it might take me awhile to come around. I’m sure I sound like the biggest asshole ever but please understand that this just isn’t something I’m ready for.” You had rambled a bit, you were aware of that, but it was the only way that you could properly express your feelings without making things too complicated.

Aizawa said nothing. Trying to figure out how to go about things.

Was he upset? Yeah, you two, even after several long years of being together, hadn’t discussed moving forward in your relationship in depth. And if he’d tried you seemed content with the point you two were at so he left it be, no reason to try and move forward when what you had was already fine the way it was. But recently he’d been craving more. Some mornings, when he’d be the first to wake, he’d study your features in the soft light of the sunrise and wonder what it’d be like to properly settle down with you. Get married, start a family, all that jazz. He’d taken in Eri only because it was the most rational decision. His quirk would be good for quelling hers had it ever gotten out of hand. But it also seemed to quell his musings of something more with you. He had imagined you being a good parental figure for the little girl and it made his heart flutter and his stomach explode with butterflies. But now seeing that that wasn’t what you wanted and how you weren’t ready for it, it stung. But in the end, he loved you. He’d easily give his life for you. So, if that meant waiting he’d wait. He’d wait a million years if he had to. He could do it.

Once again he spoke,

“Take your time then. I can wait.”

Tagslist?: @captainchrisstan (I think you said you wanted to be tagged but I’m also just small brained lol If u didn’t want to and I misinterpreted things just let me know :) )

#bnha x reader #mha xreader #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #aizawa #my first fic #mha #bnha

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drowningbydegrees · 4 years

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Favorite Works of 2020

I was tagged by @girl-in-red-crossing (whose fics you should totally read if you haven’t! <3). Thank you!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Ooh, this was kind of hard! I didn’t realize I made so many things this year.

Though I Try Not To So, new fandoms are always a little scary for me. I don’t know the landscape, I lack confidence in my characterization, and often the first really personally compelling idea I have has been done a bajillion times. And that was definitely how I felt posting this one. I was already thrilled that I felt like writing again after hardly doing anything for over a year though, and if nobody read the darned thing, I’d still be happy for that. But I have never felt so overwhelmingly welcome in a fandom before as I did working on this story. It makes me want to collectively hug everyone. Even if it Hurts (Even if it Makes Me Bleed) I have kind of a love/hate relationship with the soulmate trope. I love a lot of soulmate fics. They’re often very sweet and well written. There are a couple I’ve found myself going back to read again because they’re wonderful. But as a person who harps a lot on personal agency, I have a little bit of a hard time with soulmates as a concept. This becomes extra true for me where Geralt is concerned because so much of his life and the people in it already got decided for him. I’ve always wanted to write a soulmate fic, but it didn’t feel like it would be true to the kind of stories I want to tell if I didn’t find some way to turn the trope on its ear. I had so much fun trying to work this out, and I’m actually really happy with the end result. Even in the Dark I Know You I think pretty much all my friends from previous fandoms who put up with my current nonsense could tell you that most of the time when I’m flailing about a story idea, it’s in the context of “But what if it was worse???” Angst is my jam, but even more so when it comes with the catharsis of a hopeful ending. I think if there were one thing I wrote this year that really illustrates my reading and writing tendencies it’s this one. This actually started out with what was supposed to be a random oneshot for Geralt Whump Week, but I had so much fun playing with it that I didn’t stop until I’d spun it out into a proper narrative. For The Space of a Heartbeat I started this fic back in June, wrote a bit, decided I was getting everything wrong, and closed the document for almost five months. And when I actually posted it, it was largely because I was supposed to be working on Whumptober prompts, and the minute I have a thing I’m supposed to be doing, my brain tends to insist that it’s really very urgent that I finish this other thing instead. That’s a terrible run-on sentence, but I’m rolling with it. I don’t think it’s even my own work that makes it a favorite of mine. It’s that someone left this one comment about they’d been having a terrible day and this made them smile anyway. There is no better feeling than knowing somewhere out there, someone’s life is at least the tiniest bit better because of what you put out into the world. Nothing But The Background Noise This one is very close to my heart. I might claim to love angst (and I do), but sometimes it’s nice to write something that’s just unapologetically soft. I started it ages ago, got halfway through and then ended up stuck because I had this sentiment I was trying to illustrate, but nothing I wrote really seemed to articulate it while still feeling true to my translation of the characters. I was so, so, so happy when it finally hit me that I was too married to a particular ending and just needed to let go of it. As for tagging! @mikkeneko @goodheavensgwen @inennui @valdomarx @teamfreehoodies and really, anyone who wants to. I really love reading these. <3

#things I'm tagged in

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thelastoftheredhotswamis2 · 4 years

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Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

I’m just going to pretend @prometheuswelsh tagged me directly instead of leaving it open – they saw basically every single one of these fics before I posted them, and are basically my beta-reader by now! (Yeah yeah, I know, cut down on the run-on sentences with a million commas, I hear ya.) Check out their top 5 most beautiful gifs of 2020 here.

I’m undisciplined and have a top 6, not a top 5. I can be found on AO3 as selkieskin. Because this got long, all except the first one are under a Read More!

1. A Life Less Ordinary (Cherry Magic fic, M/M: Kurodachi). I wrote this after episode 6, knowing that episode 7 would probably make it non-canon, but hey – it’s about Kurosawa, and why he reacts the way he does to Adachi, and how his own internalised homophobia manifests. It’s pure quality angst, and I loved rewatching each episode to capture Kurosawa’s reactions to write this – it’s also about not feeling normal and not believing you can be happy, which is a very personal topic for me. This just flowed out of me basically fully-formed, and I think it really shows – there isn’t a thing about it I would change (non-canon-ness aside)…

2. The Everthere (OffGun fic, M/M: OffGun). This was a bit of a deep-dive into actual events and the way that Off has changed towards Gun, imagining how being in an ‘imaginary couple’ can change things. I just feel like each part of this flows together so well, with each flashback tied to what’s happening in the present and the ambiguous nature of their relationship building in intensity throughout… I’m so happy with how it turned out!

(Fun fact: regarding these first two, I wrote both the majority of The Everthere and the entirety of A Life Less Ordinary (part 1) in the same 2-day span. I had Chinese language exams to procrastinate on practicing for, so I just felt Inspired™. I literally wrote over 10,000 words in two days – I wish I could manage that all the time! I usually take months to finish stories… part 2 of A Life Less Ordinary is part-written, but it’ll take a while!)

3. Let Sleeping Cats Lie (NCT fic, Gen / M/M: JohnTen). I felt like I wanted to write a fic that focused on how it is to love a pet cat, and WayV have pets, so this was a no-brainer. Ten gets trapped in bed under a cat (Louis), and the cat demands that he look at only him. Near the end, his boyfriend Johnny drops by and gets into bed too to sleep, and it’s just a lovely cosy fic that I feel turned out really well – I was really proud of being able to capture that gentle, comforting atmosphere in the story.

4. Lovely (Heart Made Of Glass) (NCT fic, M/M: Yuwin). This one might not be everyone’s cup of tea and I do feel like it’s a bit awkward in parts, but it’s intensely personal for me, so this is #4. Winwin and Ten choreographed their romantic duet dance to Lovely by Billie Eilish, and one day late in the practice rooms, Yuta fills in to help Winwin practice. Yuta is gay, and Winwin is aroace – both get to let out their frustrations and their lack of understanding of the other, before they finally meet in the middle.

5. ZaintSee On Set series (Why R U RPF fic, M/M: ZaintSee). I didn’t really write smut before 2020, and part 2 of this was the first proper smut that I published! (I’m aroace, so have struggled in the past to get beyond ‘tab A goes into slot B’ style of description.) I loved Why R U, and the way that both main couples just seemed so into each other in an unguarded way was my favourite aspect of the series. In this, I imagined what it would be like for the actors to act this way in front of the cameras. In the first part, Zee asks for a kiss, and in the second part… well, it’s set during the episode 9 bed scene, so you can imagine where it goes. I had a big crisis of confidence when posting part 2 the first time – like I mentioned, I’m new to writing smut, and felt like it was probably ridiculous and overblown, and even deleted it once! I like it now, though.

6. A Walk By The River (NCT, Gen: Johnny & Mark). This was really interesting to write, because I only had a very vague plan when I started writing it, and wanted it to feel genuinely like one of those late-night conversations, not always linear or well-articulated. So I just wrote, and wrote, and this is long but I think it feels like a journey with a lot of surprises and I was really proud of how I captured their conversational style and how a character who is so uncomfortable about talking seriously about his feelings finally manages to open up to his friend.

Honourable mentions to:

Textbook (My Engineer fic, M/M: MekBoss). My second published smut! Let’s face it, My Engineer was a hot mess and nobody liked the main couple, but the side couples? Hell yeah. And my favourites were MekBoss. This slight AU was really fun to write, with Boss being very chatty in bed in a totally ridiculous way!

Fighting (Haeyadwae) (NCT fic, Gen: Lucas & Jungwoo). I wrote this as kind of a comfort to myself and a friend for those days when everything feels overwhelming and like it’s too much. Jungwoo’s at that stage, and his friend Lucas tells him to just lie on the floor with him and escape from his anxiety for a bit. It’s short, but sweet.

I know it’s a couple of days after New Year now, but I’d like to tag @stickers-on-a-laptop to do this, if you haven’t already – I already know my own favourite 2020 work of yours (CherrYYY Magic, which is a fantastic crossover and has our aroace queen Fujisaki as the main character!) but I’d like to know what you think!

#2020 wrapped #fic recs #cherry magic #nct #why r u #my engineer #offgun #johnten #kurodachi #mekboss #zaintsee #yuwin #me #prometheuswelsh #stickers-on-a-laptop

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katierosefun · 4 years

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creator tag

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

thank you @kckenobi and @pandora15 for the tag!! <3 so here are the works, in no particular order and also oh gee i am so sorry this got so painfully long you can tell i’m procrastinating on my final + also i just tend to run my mouth when im talking about writing asdffd

to these memories (After Darth Sidious is defeated, everything changes. Some for the better, others not so much. Mostly better though. (Or: Anakin becomes a dad. Rex rehabilitates clone troopers who no longer want to be a part of the army. Ahsoka gets a call from an old friend. And maybe Obi-Wan finds out it’s not just his enemies who don’t stay dead. Basically, everyone gets the happy ending they deserve.)

so this was my first major longform tcw fic, and i just. i have a lot of feelings about this fic, mostly nostalgia and lots of gratefulness. first of all, i think i met a lot of super cool people through this fic, and i also? just? idk, this was a major project that i kind of worked on to cope with post-tcw sadness + also just. general sadness about the world’s situation. writing this story was actually super healing for me, mostly because i just. really wanted to have something where happy endings existed.

so this really...was an experience, and i’m so super grateful for everyone who read along. to this day, whenever i get a comment about this fic, i feel super happy because it makes me feel glad to know that there were some people who took comfort in this work, because i really wanted this fic to have that kind of effect on people. :’)

there they are (Right before Ahsoka leaves for Mandalore, Rex distracts Bo-Katan so she could give her family a proper goodbye. (There's hugging. We just needed our trio to hug.)

i think this was one of my first tcw fics of 2020, and. i just remember impulse writing this after watching old friends not forgotten because i was just. so sad that we didn’t get an anakin and ahsoka hug or a trio hug or anything. i understand why they didn’t--like, i really, really do, but. but i think if there’s a theme i’m going through this year, it’s ‘this was sad, so i’m gonna make it happy!!!’, so...as my masterlist puts it, ‘dave filoni said no trio hug, so i said fine, i’ll do it’.

uhhhhh, how very unusual of me, but!!! probably my working on a new original story. i’ve got the fourth draft of another story siting in the background, but. this other story idea came at me, and five outlines later, i started this story. i’m about three chapters down now, but. a snippet of the prologue:

“Well…it’s also a rather important story,” Rosalind said. “Do you enjoy stories?”

“I want to be a writer,” I blurted, and I stopped at that. I fiddled with my mug, heat that had nothing to do with the hot chocolate or the fire rushing to my face. Silly, oversharing me—oh, what a young, lonely child I was back then. So desperate for conversation that I had grown out of practice and resorted to sharing details that the average stranger would not care for.

But then again, these were not the average strangers—although I’m sure you’ve figured that for yourself.

“Yes,” I said meekly. “I enjoy stories.”

“Well,” Dae said after some time, “it’s good that you’re a writer.”

I lifted my head, and this time, I saw Dae and Rosalind smile at each other. A softer smile, one that made me feel suddenly dreadfully, dreadfully lonely.

“You might want to write this down,” Rosalind said at last.

And so I did.

*and cue the actual story* i won’t say too much because adsfsdfsfd talking about my original work makes me feel awkward + also i am constantly in fear of people stealing ideas even though,,,even though i know the only person who can write this story is me, anyways, but uh. i will say that i have a plan for a five-part series that’s basically about a witch and a princess. there’s a prophecy in the background. there’s magic. there’s rivals to friends to enemies to lovers. there’s father figures + big sister figures + found family + ancient kingdoms + the real world blending with the fantasy world + uh i’ve said enough okeee bye that’s it

the moment was enough (The war ends. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan try to work things out since the last time they actually saw each other.)

it had been a long while since i had written anything that was really just about ahsoka and obi-wan, but. i think everyone knows that i really love my grandpadawan and grandmaster duo? idk, this fic really made me feel things because i was thinking a lot about how obi-wan and ahsoka had left things. i wanted to make it pretty clear that they both clearly care about each other a lot, but like. also. there’s still some hurt there. i just had so much fun writing this, because obi-wan and ahsoka are such an underrated duo and i love them :’)

loose stitches (The discovery and aftermath of Maul. Anakin and Ahsoka find themselves pacing in front of the Council chambers multiple times. They might have taken Obi-Wan to Dex’s. Something might have unraveled, only to be stitched back together.)

kasey before you say anything pls know that i would talk about this fic until literally the day i die i am sorry if i am making you feel self-conscious--but anyways this was a collab with the ever-talented, ever-wonderful @kckenobi. so uh, quick story which mayhaps i might not have told anyone before, but whatever, i’m listening to evermore and therefore have no choice but to be emotional huh--this fic was like...one of the first collabs i’ve ever done? in general, collaborations were always something that made me nervous because it required lots of vulnerability and honesty, and there’s a side of me that’s very obsessed with having this image of Neat Writer Who Has Coherent Thoughts (which,,,doesn’t even exist so why was i obsessed? no idea). so that said, this collab was just. so wild + wonderful because it really was, first of all, such a cool, magical experience. there’s something so amazing and insane about passing words back and forth and like, even a screen apart, there’s something magical about like. sitting down at a laptop at the end of the day and feeling like you’re about to step into a portal where it’s just two people trying to spin a story. writing with kasey was just such a wonderful, absolutely magical experience, and i’m really glad that we got to write this story + the many more that we did. just. there’s something really personal and beautiful about writing until 1, 2, 3 am when the world’s asleep. anyways. magical.

asdfsdfd i’m very sorry that this got so incredibly long, but!! that said, 2020 was a hard year for lots of different reasons both personally + because of *gestures at the world* but. like. i’m really, really glad that i got back to writing clone wars fic this year, because i’ve met so many wonderful, wonderful, wonderful people here, and. yeah. y’all are my serotonin suppliers, and i do refer to a lot of people here as ‘oh yeah, my friend and i were talking the other day about...’ and ‘why are you smiling?’ ‘oh, just something a friend said--’ and. yeah. i hope y’all have a wonderful, wonderful rest of the year + also a wonderful life because y’all are simply the best :’))

no-pressure tags: @lightasthesun @meandmyechoes @soplantyourownflowers @ilonga @sonderwalker @mytardisisparked @60sec400 and really, honestly, anyone else who wants to!!! <333 (like. i mean it. literally. just tag me and lemme scream encouragements at you.)

#tag game #thank you!!#caroline stop writing essays challenge!!!!#i cannot and will not stop writing essays i guess adsfsdf

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everlarkficexchange · 4 years

Text

Everlark Fic Exchange: Masterlist

Springtime Edition (2020).

The King's Mistress by @eiramrelyat

Prompt 9: Katniss is a commoner and peeta is a cruel king. He wants katniss to be his mistress. How will they fall in love is up to you. [submitted by anonymous]

Stay with Me Just for Now by @booksrockmyface

Prompt 10: katniss and peeta are best friends who were in a friends w benefits arrangement in the past. now the hunger for each other is coming back. [submitted by anonymous]

A Quiet Announcement by @albinokittens300

Prompt 11: in panem au where everlark isn’t reaped and peeta knocks up katniss. [submitted by @sunflowerslyf]

Prompt #12: by @endlessnightlock

Prompt 12: katniss walks out of the fitting room wearing only a bikini to ask her friend if it suits her but it isnt her friend at the other side of the door but peeta. [submitted by anonymous]

When You Were Mine by @pitualba2015

Prompt 20: Peeta is the CEO and katniss is his secretary. They have an affair and katniss gets pregnant but when she tells peeta he doesn’t believe her and accuse her of trying to trap him. What will he do when he realize his mistake and how will he win katniss back. [submitted by anonymous]

Two Households by @everlarkandhistory

Prompt 22: Set in early 20th century. Katniss and Peeta are from two rival families who have been enemies since forever. They have a chance meeting which led to them falling in love. They are completely unaware of their identity. Will their love survive or will their relationship crumble. [submitted by @mysteriouslycraftyreview]

Operation: BREAD (Bring Revenge on Everdeen to Avenge Dad) by @alliswell21

Prompt 23: Rumor: MrEverdeen crossed fence dividing Town and Seam, kidnapped Mrs Everdeen making her his commonlaw wife. Years later, Mellark sons plan to avenge their father by raiding Seam and kidnapping one of Everdeens daughters for one of them to take as a wife! Does Katniss “volunteer,” does she escape, how do the 3 brothers decide what to do with her since they didn’t plan it all out well? [submitted by @567inpanem]

lying in the bed we made (if it wasn't us) by @archersandsunsets

Prompt 26: the night before the Quarter Quell, in the sleepless dark, Katniss and Peeta allow themselves to indulge in the bittersweet dream of a future they’ll never have together (“if it wasn’t us, what would you do?” “I’d want to marry you” “tell me”) [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]

The Proper Response by @madetofly

Prompt 29: Post-MJ, Growing Together. Peeta is finally showing his affection and love for Katniss as they heal and reconnect. Katniss, being Katniss, seems to act like she doesn’t appreciate this, and is less than enthused. Peeta, taking this like an adult, stops showing her with the affection and tries to show her his love in other ways. Katniss, however, does not appreciate him stopping those things and set out to try and get him to continue it again because she misses it. [submitted by @albinokittens300]

All the World's a Stage by @katnissdoesnotfollowback

Prompt 31: “We never see you two so much as kiss in public but last night we all heard you having sex.” Submitted by Buttercupbadass

Misconceptions by @awkwardeverlark

Prompt 35: No reaping AU. At 19, Katniss considers marrying Gale for practical reasons; the fact she just heard the baker’s son toasted and was assigned a house at the edge of town has nothing to do with it... maybe. What happens next? (was Peeta really married or was it his brother? Does she marry Gale? Does Everlark ever talk? Will Peeta cheat if he’s actually married? Can Katniss admit she loves the Boy with the Bread? Is this forbidden love?) is up to you. [submitted by anonymous]

No One's Gonna Need You More by @ambpersand

Prompt 36: Frustrated and stressed out Single dad!Peeta needs a fuck desperately. His best friend, Katniss, unwittingly offers to help him out. Things get murky with repressed feelings, but one thing’s certain, Peeta can’t keep his hands to himself anymore and Katniss is all too willing to oblige at the drop of a hat, regardless of place, time and her own emotions, as long as he keeps whispering all his sexy, filthy thoughts into her ear. [submitted by anonymous]

Vidua by @darkhorse-javert

Prompt 44: Believing that taking a new young bride every 5 years will keep him youthful, Snow arranges to marry wife #12 from D12. In the hours between the ceremony and the wedding night, he drops dead. 16-yr-old Katniss returns to 12 but now she’s “Widow Snow.” Can she ever be Katniss, district huntress again? With all that $, wedding gifts, etc that were sent on the train with her? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Fortune Favors the Brave by @ambpersand

Prompt 46: Pacific Rim inspired AU with drift compatible Everlark (or not if you’re inspired by angst). I really just want to see more of that aspect of Pacific Rim explored than what they did in the movie and what better way to do it than with Everlark! [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Fate Takes a Break by @ally147writes

Prompt 50: everlark discovering on their date that they've missed each other their whole lives (living in the same city, went to the same high school, going to the same halloween and nye parties, were set up before by different friends but stood each other up, shopping at the same store, etc.) [submitted by @sunflowerslyf]

I Choose You by @wendywobbles

Prompt 51: Katniss E, the Valedictorian of Panem High school, is perfect in all fields of life. And that is the crush of awkward, average in studies, not so popular, never had a girlfriend, often bullied Peeta M. Not only does she have a very popular friend circle but also a handsome, popular boyfriend Gale H. Will she even want to be his friend? Is his crush doomed to fail? Eventual Everlark. [submitted by @white-dandelion-seeds]

The Change by @alliswell21

Prompt 59: Growing up Peeta started loving her. It was a gradual thing that happened throughout his childhood and into his teens. But something changes when he hits puberty. Her scent has heightened, he can spot her from miles away. He gets a bit possessive. But the biggest thing is when his body starts to heat up and even just the thought of you gets him hard for days. He finds out the family secret of his werewolf genes, something his parents thought passed him. How can he go by with his day and be with her without scaring her away by humping her because of his heat. [submitted by @animekpopxx]

By The Moonlight Side by @endlessnightlock

Chapter 2

Prompt 61: Peeta knew better, but he did stupid things when he got drunk. Now he’s caged at the animal shelter in his wolf form. And, omg, Katniss Everdeen let her little sister drag her in to see the dogs?! He knows he shouldn’t, but teen hormones. He just wants to lick her hand. Get a tummy rub. Hump her leg. Sleep on her bed. Omg, they take him home!!!! He needs to let his dad know where he is. Omg. He needs to figure out his bakery shift. “God, don’t let Katniss catch me licking my balls.” [submitted by @567inpanem]

Maybe Tomorrow by @katnissdoesnotfollowback

Prompt 62: one night stand!everlark sleeping together the same night a terrible snowstorm hits the city and everything gets shut down with no way to get home. perhaps a two night stand? [submitted by anonymous]

Genesis by @rosegardeninwinter

Prompt 66: Everlark post apocalypse, katniss and peeta are neighbors and the only two that make it to katniss's father's bunker in time. Over the course of several years the two have grown quite close having no one else, but now provisions are running low. Do they face the unknown outside or stay put, knowing they only have food to last another week? [sent by anonymous]

Sunset on Grass by @alliswell21

Prompt 67: Her parents said that it was just a childhood crush and that she will outgrow it. But why does her heart flutters. When she’s finally old enough to get a job, she immediately gets a part time job to be close to him. Will is pursue her love against people’s negative views because he’s so much older than her. Or go for it and make him fall in love with her. Age Gap Older!Peeta. [submitted by @animekpopxx]

A Taste of Rebellion by @acpoe82

Prompt 68: Dark Coffee Shop AU - Capitol Peeta runs a Coffee/Pastry shop in the poshest part of the Capitol. Near by President Snow’s Mansion. Capitol!Katniss is a frequent customer. Things in the Capitol begin to deteriorate as the rebellion drags on. Are they sympathetic to the rebel cause? [submitted by @oakfarmer12]

You're Not Alone by @sunsetsrmydreams

Prompt 70: Peeta picks up a hitchhiker in the mountains one night, only to find it's his childhood best friend and now escaped convict Katniss Everdeen. In a panic he calls police but after hearing her side of the story comes to believe she didn't actually murder anyone. Everlark on the run. [submitted by anonymous]

Forever and a day... by @thegirlfromoverthepond

Prompt 73: I am a simple woman: I just want Katniss Everdeen content and loved and washed in moonlight I don’t care how you do it. [submitted by @rosegardeninwinter]

The Most Unlikely Serendipity by @albinokittens300

PART 2, PART 3, PART 4

Prompt 75: An in-Panem arranged marriage a/u where Katniss is slightly older than Peeta. [submitted by @endlessnightlock]

Shots Make Me Sing by @sunsetsrmydreams

Prompt 81: Katniss finds her soulmate at her bachelorette party (aka Peeta)(Happy ending please) [submitted by anonymous]

when we’re underneath the lights my heart’s no longer broken by @omercilessmoon

Prompt 92: High school musical au: katniss and peeta as troy and Gabriella. [submitted by anonymous]

December nights in June by @viloula

Prompt 110: AU. Everlark live across from each other in fancy New York (or the like) penthouses. With all those large windows, they see each other daily and know the other's routine and all he/she does, but they've never met. A chance meeting occurs. What will happen? The circumstances of their living arrangements/any backstory and what happens between them is up to you. [submitted by @acpoe82]

High Heels at Midnight by @hutchhitched

Prompt 134: Visual Prompt. To see it go HERE [submitted by @javistg]

must work hard, tolerate cats by @mendontprotectyou

Prompt 140: In Panem AU where Peeta is a Mail Order Husband. As the youngest son of a merchant class Capitol family, he has accepted he will never inherit the family bakery. But when his family contract him to an arranged marriage to further the business he will never own, he escapes by signing up to a programme to relocate and marry a district woman. Why Katniss needs a husband, is up to the author. Everlark endgame :) [submitted by @louezem]

Notes:

Fics organized by prompt number.

Masterlist compiled on May 11, 2020. Subject to change. New works will be added as they’re posted to the @everlarkficexchange.

Looking for updated versions of the multi-chapter fics? Try our AO3 Collection

#springtime edition 2020 #masterlist #our fics

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elesianne · 4 years

Text

Favourite works of 2020

I was tagged by @houndsofvalinor-art and @alystraea, thank you!

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I wrote and posted more in 2020 than during any year before and I do love pretty much all of the fics I finished (unloved works also tend to remain unposted, lol) so choosing works for this was difficult but here are 6+2 of my favourites from the 24 fics I finished in 2020.

1. is Ever-beloved, my exploration of Eldalótë/Edhellos's life from childhood to death, with a focus on her marriage to Angrod. It's a romance story, definitely, but in it I finally managed to cover in one fic all the tumultuous events that the members of the house of Finwë go through. Well, up to Dagor Bragollach, because [spoilers]. I enjoyed getting to know the house of Finarfin much better both through research into everything that HoME says about them and by developing Edhellos, Angrod, Aegnor and Orodreth's characterisations beyond quick mentions for the first time. I also enjoyed writing another quiet, gentle protagonist, showing the inner strength that such a character can have.

2. Of Míriel's line is the 'baby sequel' about Caranthir and Tuilindien having their first child. Romance, a bit of angst (courtesy of Caranthir's inherited fears about the dangers of child-bearing), tons of fluff, and family interactions – all my favourite things to write in one fic! Bits of this fic are from 2017, including the child's name, but most I wrote last year, and stitched all the little bits together – this fic is another one of my (many, many) Frankenstein's monsters…

3. Out of all the fics I wrote last year, I probably had the most pure fun writing Pink dress and high heels, suit and tie (AO3, Tumblr). I initially wrote it in bullet-points because 1) I was afraid I wouldn't be able to capture it in words fast enough (it was one of those fics that arrived in my brain fully formed and demanded, screaming, to be written down) and 2) because it felt so indulgent – being an AU of my own fic – that I didn't know if I'd find the nerve to post it. I found the nerve to make the changes to turn it into a proper little fic and post it, several people loved it which made me very happy, and I've been fighting the urge to write a sequel. Writing a modern AU for a change was fun, and I could finally use as many modern swearwords as I felt the characters' emotional state warranted!

4. In the sun, you (AO3; Tumblr) was my first attempt at writing about the Edain, and my second femslash. I'm proud that I managed to find a 'voice' for Haleth, and I enjoyed writing a… quiet story about strong emotions. I loved crafting the few, short, but very meaningful sentences that Haleth and Aeres say to each other.

5. In another world (AO3, Tumblr) was inspired by @houndsofvalinor-art's lovely art for the TRSB and is my attempt to give Aredhel a slightly kinder fate, at least for a little while. I liked exploring Aredhel and Celegorm's characters at this point in time and how they are together, and the nebulous borders of friendship and attraction and love, and the exceptions that people make for those they love.

6. Inspired by the line 'But it is said that released soon from Mandos, he went to Valinor and there dwells with Amárië' (HoME 11, Grey Annals) and by Rhapsody's digimanip for the TRSB, The faithful is the fic about Amárië and Finrod that I've been trying to write for years. It did not turn out quite as I expected or hoped but I like it anyway. I wanted to explore and build up Amárië – what did she do during the centuries that Finrod was gone? Surely not just sit and pine? – and Finrod after his death and re-embodiment – what does he now want, having lost much but also regained the chance for other things? – and how they renegotiate their relationship on new, perhaps more equal footing.

+1 About 95% of Your spirit calling out to mine was written during 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019 (sigh) but that crucial last 5% I wrote in the first week of 2020 so I'll mention it here. It remains and will likely remain for a long time the fic I'm the proudest of. My novel-length elf romance! With many warts and weaknesses, but also a lot of good stuff and nice lines and even some worldbuilding (which I hate doing, lol).

+2 is a fic I've finished but haven't posted because there's a part missing in the Lothíriel/Éomer series before it: A queen's honour, about Lothíriel and Éomer's first serious argument. It has a different tone and attitudes than my fics usually do, and it's a small, neat little fic, and I look forward to posting it one day. A snippet can be read here.

I don't know if they've been tagged already but off the top of my head, I'll tag @arofili @absynthe--minded @cosmicgong @katarrinskey @alkarinqque @busymagpie @aamuusva @forth-eorlinga

Tumblr seems to be making some mentions and links invisible no matter what I try, grr! I hope they work anyway.

#it's 6+2 because I couldn't choose just 5 as I initially meant to lol #writing blather #tag games

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bard-llama · 3 years

Note

Fic Writer Ask Game:

0.: Should you be awake and answering questions right now? ;p

And then 2, 19, 21, 32 and 44, please <3

In my defense, I reblogged this and then passed out lol

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Okay, tbh, I read fairly rarely these days and it’s almost exclusively PWPs or friends’ fics. But I write A LOT. Like, legit, my whole day can be spent writing. And somehow I still haven’t finished the 2 billion WiPs I have.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

Editing? What’s that!?

jk so I do a tiny bit of editing in that I try to read thru stuff before I post to catch typos and instances where I forgot a word and stuff like that. But sometimes I’m too eager to post and that doesn’t happen oops.

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

TITLES!!! Titles are the WORST!!!

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

Okay, I’ll be honest, my memory is swiss cheese, so I can’t promise that these are my TOP three. But these are some of the ones I’ve read recently that I really like.

This is from an unfinished Firebreathing WiP (aka PT knows how to breathe fire and Iorveth is not expecting humans to have these skills and is freaked out). Also it’s way more than 3 lines oops.

Roche took a deep breath and then sang, “Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.”

“No you can’t,” Iorveth automatically replied even though he had no idea what was happening.

Roche turned and grinned at him, "anything you can wear, I can wear better. In what you wear, I look better than you.”

“Ugh, Commander, no one wants to hear about you getting into the elf’s pants!” Fenn groaned.

“Anyone you can lick, I can lick faster. I can lick anyone faster than you.”

Roche slurred the lyrics while raising his middle fingers in a universal sign. His men groaned, but there were more laughs than Iorveth would have expected. That didn’t stop his ears from turning red. He’d forgotten how sex-obsessed humans could be.

This one is from a fic in the Love Shack ‘verse called Long Live the King

Iorveth shaped his words carefully, wanting to be sure he could promise this, even if it wasn’t what Roche had asked for. “If,” he started, “if you are ever captured again,” by someone other than me, went unsaid. Iorveth cupped Roche’s face and forced their gazes to meet. “I will come for you,” he swore. Roche blinked at him, stunned, and Iorveth reiterated. “I will come for you. Maybe your people can’t and maybe you think that’s okay. But I will, do you understand?”

This is from an in progress WiP currently titled “tonguefucking the dick”, but this particular bit is just really sweet and I really like Iorveth being super into Roche.

But no, he could hear the crunch of boots on gravel that signaled someone approaching. Iorveth swallowed hard, schooling his face into a neutral mask – which turned out to be entirely useless, because when Vernon ducked into the forest clearing, just the sight of him made Iorveth long for his kiss.

And then Vernon smiled at Iorveth and all sense of composure was lost. He eagerly darted forward, greeting Vernon with a proper kiss and Vernon huffed a laugh against his lips, but returned the kiss with every bit as much longing and passion.

44. Rant about something writing related.

Oh man. There are so many things I could rant about. But we’ll go with my deepest love here: storytelling.

Look, there’s a reason I made a dwarf library who is enamored with storytelling in (Im)Perfect Strangers. I just... stories are so powerful and amazing and humans have ALWAYS told stories and that’s just really beautiful! And obviously I tell stories through writing, and that’s probably what I’m best at. But I also really love oral storytelling! I was introduced to it in my... junior? year of high school while I was in a program where I took community college classes and the community college I went to I just really love, partially BECAUSE they have one of the best storytelling institutes in the country. So I took a class on oral storytelling and fell absolutely in love. It’s funny because I have to write the story down first, because that’s how I remember things, but one of the points of oral storytelling is that your story is going to be a bit different every time you tell it, because that’s just how humans are. It’s not a recitation of a written work, but a true telling of a story and I just love that.

If you look at my AO3, I’ve published a couple of the stories I’ve told, but I recently discovered that I don’t have a written copy of one of the ones I told for my final and that just makes me sad. But I have a couple of others I should upload, including one that is from the perspective of a scribe during the Trojan War and it was so fun omg.

Anyway, sorry this is a long post, but everyone feel free to send me some questions! I’m going to be driving up to my mama’s place at some point today, so I may not get to them write away, but I love answering your questions!

Send me fanfic questions!

#rorveth #iorveth x roche #ask game #my fics #kalikatze

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everamazingfe · 4 years

Text

You Can Ride On My Rocket 69 - Chapter Eleven

A Song About Memories

Fic Summary: Jeremy has recently awoken in this strange world, 210 ten years after he was put to sleep, and is now the lone survivor from his vault. Trevor's a radio host from Diamond City who's barely left the station, lonely in his own right and isolated from the rest of the Wastes. When they meet, Trevor finally gets a chance to see the rest of the wasteland like he's always wanted, though Jeremy becomes more of his bodyguard than Trevor does his companion. They meet various people along the way, some being friends like the odd throuple they meet in one of the neighboring city, or foe like a certain Diamond City guard. Both are wary about bringing up their pasts, but the wasteland has a strange way of bringing people together.

Chapter Summary: Jeremy remembers something he immediately wishes he could forget about all over again. Trevor gains a memory he never wants to forget. This chapter's song is "Happy Times" by Bob Crosby.

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Words in this chapter: 4817 Pairings: Jeremy/Trevor, Michael/Gavin/Lindsay, Jeremy/Matt Warnings for this chapter: Minor violence, references to Ian

Notes: There’s a link to the first chapter of this fic as the source of this post! Click it to go read this fic over on A O 3, or you can search up the title or ‘everamazingfe’ on the site! Also, I still need to go back and edit chapter 10, however I have made the decision to change Detective Nick Valentine into Geoff for this fic.

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Convincing Jeremy to leave the Third Rail and actually go to the Memory Den was a hell of an undertaking, even though he had only had a single drink. He simply did not want to relive any parts of his past, and he wasn’t sure that there was anything *to remember while he was on ice. As far as he was concerned, it was the longest shot in the world, and his aim had never been that good. But the bar eventually had to open up, and the crowd began to file in for Lindsay’s show. He could no longer sit in quiet contemplation as Trevor talked to the trio, so decided to finally listen to the man’s pleading and go. Ultimately, what choice did he have? If he couldn’t remember anything else, Geoff wouldn’t be able to help him and he’d just be back at square one.

“I’m really not sure how I feel about this, Trev.” They were standing inside the entry hall of the Memory Den now, and even in the dim mood lighting Jeremy looked visibly nervous. His hands shook and he was starting to draw blood from how hard he was biting his lip.

“I know. I’m not sure I feel that good about it either, but… What else is there to do?” Trevor asked, leaning back against the wall as he looked over at the other. He was sympathetic, he certainly wouldn’t want to go reliving his own past either, but this had all been Jeremy’s idea in the first place. What had been the point of it all if it just amounted to nothing? “If we learn anything, we’ll know where to go from here.”

Jeremy scoffed quietly, shaking his head. “Where we’ll go is back out into the wastes for days and days of wandering.” That’s all this journey had been so far, and it was wearing Jeremy out. His eyes were gaunt and dark from a lack of restful sleep, and his body ached all over. Trevor wasn’t in much better condition either, even after his week of rest. He could just tell that he was starting to get tired of all of this, and honestly he couldn’t blame him for it. “Okay, you know what? I’ll do this, on one condition.”

Trevor frowned, crossing his arms as he looked down at Jeremy. “What’s that?”

“You do it too.”

The suggestion made Trevor’s frown turn into open-mouthed surprise, and he looked downright offended by the suggestion. “Absolutely not!”

“Then I guess I’m not doing it,” Jeremy said after a moment of contemplation, seemingly unbothered, but Trevor was less than pleased.

“Why should I have to? I’m not looking for anyone, he’s your husband, and I don’t have some cushy pre-war life to look back on.” Trevor was a child of the wasteland, born and raised in a world that had actively tried to take him out of it from day one. He didn’t have any happy memories to remember, and he made sure to let Jeremy know it. The rant continued for several moments before he was interrupted, cut off by Jeremy turning away and walking down the hall. “Where are you going?”

He paused, letting Trevor catch up to him before speaking quietly. “I was only fucking with you. I wasn’t actually going to make you do it.” It was a poorly executed joke, he should have known that the past was a sore subject for him.

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“I don’t know, I just-... You know what? Nevermind, it was stupid. It was a stupid joke.” He paused and took a few breaths, counting to ten. “I’m sorry. Let’s just get this over with so we can get the fuck out of here.”

“Finally, a plan I can get on board with.”

They turned the corner into the Memory Den proper together, surprised to see Geoff already there, speaking to a woman lounging luxuriously on a couch in the back of the room. Her dress was beautiful and clean, something that was rare these days. It came in stark contrast to Geoff’s dingy and tattered trench coat. She waved as they approached, the detective turning to face them as she acknowledged their presence.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in. Geoff here was just telling me all about you two.” Her eyes scanned Jeremy up and down, and she let out a soft laugh at the way he squirmed. “I was most interested to hear about you, though.” Her voice was sultry and sweet, but she had no interest in seducing anyone into anything but sitting in one of her chairs.

It was Geoff’s turn to wave her off now, hissing a quiet, “Knock it off,” before clearing his throat. “It’s about time you two showed up, what kept you for so long?” he asked, trying to hide his displeasure, but it was hard to do. Early models of synths didn’t have a great handle on hiding their feelings like humans did, they weren’t quite that advanced yet. When they felt something, it showed, and seeing Geoff look so displeased made both Jeremy and Trevor hang their heads in shame.

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you were gonna be here, it kinda seemed like I was on my own until I could remember more about what happened. Plus, I stopped at the Rail to pick up Trevor, and you know how Gavin likes to talk.” The beady and bright eyes of the synth made it very easy to feel like Geoff could see right through his story, like he could just tell that that wasn’t all of it. “And I was uh… I was having some doubts,” Jeremy confessed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he turned his gaze to the floor.

“Doubts?”

“Like… What if I can’t remember anything? What if this was just a big waste of time?”

The woman behind Geoff laughed again as she stood, approaching Jeremy with swaying hips and tipping his chin up to make him meet her eyes. “With the amount of caps I’m paying her, Dr. Amari better be able to make you remember something. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” She patted his cheek. “You’ll find her downstairs, Geoff’ll show you the way and make the introduction.”

“Yeah, c’mon boys. Let’s leave Irma to her very important work of watching over empty loungers. We’ve got a man to find.” He walked off before the woman could retort, Jeremy and Trevor hurrying to follow.

The basement wasn’t nearly as posh as the main area, furnished with some big computer equipment along the walls and two loungers in the middle of the room. There were some items that made it look like a sort of living area, a bathtub that seemed out of place and a couch held up by burned books, but ultimately it was dingy and dank. Dr. Amari herself was standing at a terminal in the back of the room, looking very professional in a lab coat and slacks, and too focused on her work to even notice them until Geoff started to speak.

“Amari, I’ve got two new clients for you, but this one,” he paused and clapped a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, “Is gonna be a tough nut to crack.”

“Oh? Is he now? Please, the two of you, have a seat.” Dr. Amari motioned to the pair of loungers, but Trevor just shook his head quickly, hiding himself behind Geoff. Jeremy himself wasn’t as resistant, walking over to one of the open chairs and walking circles around it to inspect it. Unsurprisingly, he couldn’t figure out how it worked, but it looked complex. “Do you not want to?”

“Uh, no, not really,” he answered, following behind Geoff as he moved towards the couch. He sat down next to the synth, hands folded in his lap and eyes on the pods. “Remembering the past… It’s not really my thing.”

Dr. Amari frowned, but nodded in understanding. “It’s not for everyone. Remembering can be painful, if you have things you’d prefer to leave buried.” She was used to stumbling across rather surprising and upsetting memories, it came with the territory of poking around in people’s heads. But if someone didn’t want those memories to be stumbled upon in the first place, who was she to argue?

Jeremy gave Trevor a quick smile after he gave up on his inspection of the pods, taking a seat in one of the loungers. The seat was old and worn in from many people sitting in that same position, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Still, he didn’t know what the remembering process itself was going to be like. “This isn’t going to hurt at all, right?”

She chuckled, shaking her head as she began to tap at the keyboard. “No, not at all. You won’t feel anything. Maybe a slight headache, I am probing around in your brain after all, but no worse than a mild hangover. It will fade fast.” With that, the hydraulics hissed and the cover to the pod shut overtop of Jeremy. There was a small television in front of his face showing the ‘please stand by’ symbol that lingered on every channel now, and every sound that came from outside the chamber sounded muffled. Trevor was speaking to Geoff, he could see their lips moving, but he couldn’t make out what was being said. The only voice that came through clearly was Dr. Amari’s, and that was only because she had a mic that broadcast right into the chamber. “How are you feeling?”

Jeremy shifted a little, uncomfortable as he looked out of the chamber at her. “A little cramped… I didn’t know this was part of it.” It reminded him too much of the cryopods, and he’d just never been a fan of tight, enclosed spaces in general. At least he had hope that he would come out from the other side of this having found some answers, though. “I didn’t think it would close like this, I sorta hoped it was just… Not part of it.”

Geoff said something and Trevor laughed, but Dr. Amari cut them a look that had both of them shutting up. “I apologize. I did not realize that you would be claustrophobic, but that should not matter soon.”

Before he could even ask what that meant, Jeremy’s vision was filled with a white light. It was so blindingly bright that he thought it should hurt, but it didn’t. It was just like if he’d closed his eyes, but instead of black, the back of his eyelids were pure white. When his vision cleared again, he was inside Vault 111.

“Can you hear me?” Dr. Amari’s voice seemingly came from all around him, and he turned around to search for her. “Ah, good. You can. The simulation seems to be stable, but the memories are quite fragmentary. This is the best I could do. Geoff told me what to look for, it only took a little digging. We got lucky with this one.” It felt weird and disorienting to be seeing a memory he hadn’t even known that he had, and Jeremy was certain that when he came out of this he would be feeling a lot worse than if he just had a hangover. “You weren’t awake for long, and the failure of your life support made certain that your conscious mind could not remember it, but your subconscious? There was quite a bit to find in there. You are very lucky.”

He could see the pods, he could see himself and his husband inside of them, but most importantly, he could see a trio of people standing in front of his husband’s cryopod. “What the fuck?” There were two people, presumably scientists, dressed in lab coats and other protective gear. One of them was a woman, the other a man. There was another man as well, who wasn’t dressed like the two scientists he had with him. He wore something akin to raider leathers and was bald, like Jeremy. The most distinct feature was a scar across his left eye, clear as day. Over the speakers, Jeremy could just barely hear Geoff say, “That’s Kellogg,” but he was far too focused on the man himself for his ears to properly register it.

The man, Kellogg, pointed at the pod that Jeremy knew held his husband. “This is the one, here. Open it.” The scientists didn’t hesitate in following their orders, the man hitting the manual override as the other got ready for... something. Jeremy couldn’t quite tell what she was doing.

As the pod opened, the man inside coughed as he came back to life. But as one pod thawed, so did some of the others. “Is it over?” he asked, gruff and confused. Hearing his husband’s voice knocked the air right out of Jeremy’s chest. He hadn’t heard it in so long. “Are we okay?” The man stepped out from the pod slowly, and Jeremy could only stare. It really was him, probably in the last moments he was alive. His hair was still as long as the day they’d gone into the pods though the colorful streaks of dye had long faded, and his glasses fogged up from the sudden temperature change causing him to squint behind the glass. His beard had small icicles hanging from it, but they quickly began to thaw and drip water down the front of the vault suit.

The woman smiled kindly, offering a hand of help out to him. “Almost, everything’s going to be fine.”

“Come with us,” Kellogg ordered, his voice considerably less kind than hers. He sounded annoyed and impatient, though he had only just arrived in the vault.

“What? No, I’m not leaving. I can’t go.” The man looked at the pod across from him in panic, where Jeremy remained in stasis, frozen solid. Or so he thought. “I can’t leave without Jeremy.”

“You don’t really get a choice in that. Now, come with us.” Kellogg spoke as the other scientist reached out, her hand of assistance now firmly on his arm to start pulling him away from the pod despite the insistent protests that only grew louder. “We’re only gonna tell you once.”

“And I’m only going to tell you once. I. Am. Not. Going. With. You.”

There was no verbal retort from Kellogg, he instead only huffed in frustration before he hit the man over the head with a stun baton. He crumpled in an instant, knocked out cold and bleeding from the impact. Luckily, the scientists managed to catch him before he hit the floor, but only just.

“Let’s go,” the one said, glaring at Kellogg as he adjusted his hold to help support his weight. “At least we have a backup in case you hit him too hard. We weren’t supposed to hurt him, you know.”

Kellogg only shrugged, turning around now to look at Jeremy that was still in the pod. “Doesn’t matter now. Like you said, at least we have a backup. Let’s get out of here. And when’s that other team coming in?”

“You might as well be one of them, god.” They both cast him looks of disgust before turning, slowly making their way from the cryo-room with the unconscious man in tow.

The scientists were no longer paying any mind to Kellogg, but he didn’t seem to care. He was just as done with them as they were with him. His eyes were also no longer on the empty pod, instead he’d turned around to look at the one across the way. “You… You’re going to come in handy someday, I’m sure. Or you’ll just be another thorn in my side.” He tapped on the glass with the stun baton, tilting his head to meet Jeremy’s eyes. “Let’s make sure you go back to sleep, shall we?”

The robotic voice saying ‘Cryogenic sequence re-initialized’ echoed loudly in Jeremy’s head, and he closed his eyes and covered his ears to try blocking the sound of the pod re-freezing out, though it was unsuccessful. The sounds weren’t really coming from around him, they were coming from inside of his head.

“That’s the end of the memory. But… Wait, there’s something else here.” Dr. Amari spoke now, and when he opened his eyes back up, he was still in the vault.

There were two scientists at his husband’s pod again, but instead of opening it up to take him out, they were now putting him back in. But he knew now that it wasn’t him. It was a decoy. A fake to convince anyone who came searching that he was still in there.

That same robotic voice came over the loudspeakers again as the pod sealed back up, but it wasn’t saying the same thing. This time, it was saying ‘Critical failure in cryogenic array. All vault residents must vacate immediately.”

Jeremy watched as the two scientists looked at each other in confusion, about to write off the announcement as just another piece of vault weirdness, until the pod behind them hissed and clunked as it began to open up.

“That… That wasn’t supposed to happen, he told us everyone in this vault was dead!” the one said, watching as a cloud of fog covered the floor, the ice hitting the warm air of the vault and instantly thawing much faster than anticipated. She looked to the other in fear, trying to figure out what to do, but this was the only pod that was opening.

“They are,” the other one hissed, busting the manual controls to ensure that the now sealed pod could never be reopened. It didn’t take him too long to regret his words though, as Jeremy fell forward onto the floor, barely able to catch himself in time before his face hit the concrete. He coughed and heaved, lungs suddenly filling with air and every system in his body forced to jump-start all at once. “Shit, go, go!” He grabbed the arm of the other scientist, all but dragging her out of there before Jeremy could get his bearings and stand up.

“Get me out of here,” the real Jeremy said, his voice strained as he fought back tears. “Doctor, please… Get me out of here.” Trying to process everything that he’d just seen, the truth of everything that had happened in the vault to him, to his husband, but he didn’t feel any better for knowing it. Instead, he just felt worse.

“Are you sure? If there’s something else you’d like to see-”

“Get me out!”

“Amari, please. Just get him out of there.” Trevor’s voice was in his ear now, and he sounded concerned. Scared, even. It made Jeremy’s heart ache as much as his head.

Outside of Jeremy’s brain and outside of the memory chamber, the three of them had been watching the memories unfold through his eyes on Amari’s terminal screen. Geoff had a notepad out and had been jotting down thoughts and observations on the whole ordeal, unphased by Kellogg’s cruelty, but Trevor was quite the opposite. He was in a similar boat as Jeremy, unable to process what he’d just seen but knowing that it made him uneasy. He bit his nails as he listened to keys clacking on the keyboard beneath Amari’s nails, eyes fixed on Jeremy's face to make sure he would actually wake up. The second the pod was open and Jeremy could sit up, Trevor all but launched himself at the other, wrapping his arms around him. Jeremy was in no shape to push him away, just clinging to him and hiding his face as his body began to tremble.

“That was… That was horrible,” Trevor whispered, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

Jeremy just laughed, but it was dry and without any humor. “Yeah, I… I wish I didn’t remember now.” He lifted his head to look at Geoff, who was still jotting down notes. “Did you find out everything you needed?”

“More than,” Geoff said, flipping his notepad shut and meeting Jeremy’s tear-filled eyes with a smile. “I know exactly what our next step is. Kellogg, he used to own a house back in Diamond City. It’s been abandoned for a while now, but… I think if we can get ourselves in there, we can figure out where he went.”

Trevor stood up then with a soft huff, offering a hand to Jeremy to help him stand as well, pulling him close once they both had. “Doubt it. It’s probably been picked clean by Crazy Myrna by now,” he muttered, “She’s always looking for stuff to sell.”

“Maybe so, but I know he had someone with him when he stayed there that fits the bill of the missing husband. Pretty tall, long hair… Most guys tend to keep it cropped pretty short these days, and no one that tall has come through the city in a long time.” Geoff laughed quietly. “Trust me, it’s always a spectacle when they do. I’ll meet you back there. You two… You two take your time. I’ll talk to security, make sure someone gets stationed there to keep Myrna, and everyone else, out until we can get a look.” He waved at the three of them and thanked Dr. Amari before heading out.

Diamond City wasn’t exactly far from Goodneighbor, but Jeremy felt like garbage after all of that, and he was sure that Trevor wasn’t exactly up for the journey after all of that either. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed, or maybe get another few drinks at the Third Rail. He couldn’t make up his mind, so he settled on both. “I’m gonna go get us a room at the Rex, can you go get us a few bottles to go from Gav?” he asked, fishing a small pouch of caps from his armor and offering it to Trevor, who swiped it from him without hesitation. They both could use a few drinks.

“Gladly.”

---------------------------------------------------

They were several beers in each before they decided to call it quits, pocketing the caps and dropping the empty bottles to the floor to join their discarded armor with satisfying clinks. Jeremy wasn’t really feeling much better, his head was still swimming and now his stomach was churning from the alcohol, but at least it was harder to focus on the day’s events and on the newly uncovered memories. And Trevor was definitely having a good time, singing along to the songs on the radio that he knew every beat of by heart. He could’ve listened to that forever without complaint, elbow resting on his knee and chin on his hand as he sat cross-legged on the creaky old bed, eyes closed as he listened to him.

“Hey Trevor?” he asked softly, opening his eyes slowly. The singing stopped, and Jeremy almost felt bad for interrupting it, but he felt like he had to say what he had on his mind. “I know… I know I was kind of a dick when we first met, and even earlier today, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay-”

“No, it’s not. It’s not okay. You said before that you have no happy memories, that you have nothing you want to remember, and… And I’ve definitely contributed to that, but I also want to change that. Everyone deserves happy memories.”

Trevor smiled softly, though the words would have been a lot more endearing if they weren’t half-slurred together. But Geoff had always taught him that it was the thought that counts. “What’s your happiest memory, then? I gotta know what to strive for here.”

“My happiest memory? Shit, I don’t know. Probably… Probably my first kiss? It happened later than it should’ve, not ‘til I met my husband and I was *old by then. Not as old as I am now, but… Older than most people have their first kiss. And he was a real shit kisser at the start too, but… It was still sweet.” Jeremy smiled fondly as he thought about it, swaying back and forth from the good feelings it filled him with. “Pretty much any memory I’ve got with him is my happiest… ‘Til the end, at least.”

He nodded slowly, letting out a soft sigh. “Should’ve seen that coming. Dunno why I even asked.”

That made Jeremy frown. Trevor never seemed to like it when he talked about his husband like that, but it wasn’t like he was going to stop. His life pre-war was still something near and dear to his heart. “You’ll have that too, one day.”

“Doubt it. Best I can do so far is Ian, and… He’s not really a catch,” he muttered, huffing as he laid down on the bed. It groaned under the shift in weight, and the pillow smelled musty beneath his head. It was a miracle this place didn’t have bed bugs. “But it’s fine, you know? Not like the wastes are meant for finding love. If you make it past twenty without getting bit in half by a Deathclaw or beat down by raiders, you’re doing pretty good. And I think I’m doing pretty good.”

“People aren’t meant to just do ‘pretty good’ though. You can’t survive off of just ‘pretty good.’”

“Can’t I, though?” Trevor asked, propping himself up on an elbow to meet Jeremy’s eyes. “I’m doing fine. I don’t need some pre-war ghoul telling me how I should live my life. Things are different now, Jeremy. If someone’s doing ‘pretty good,’ it means they’re a hell of a lot better than everyone else.”

They stared each other down for a few minutes, the tension building until Jeremy was the first to look away, reaching down to the floor and grab one last beer. He popped the cap, holding it out for Trevor. “I’m sorry.” The peace offering was rejected, and Jeremy just tucked it into his own pocket instead. “But I still meant what I said. Everyone deserves happy memories, even you.”

“Maybe. But saying that won’t magically give me any.”

Doing and saying stupid things while he was drinking was a staple of Jeremy’s personality, whatever thought processes that made him only do slightly dumb things while he was sober seemed to disintegrate after a few beers. After four in quick succession, it was just gone entirely. So maybe that was why he set the bottle aside and leaned in, a rough and calloused hand cupping Trevor’s cheek oh so gently as he leaned in and pressed their lips together in the softest kiss he could muster. It lasted for only a moment before he pulled away, smirking a little. “Won’t it, though?”

“God, Jeremy, just… Shut up,” Trevor stammered, sitting up fully now and leaning in to kiss him again. He let his eyes slip shut as Jeremy held his face with both hands, not to forcefully keep him in the kiss but to just hold him, to give him the soft and loving touch that he didn’t even know he’d needed as badly as he did.

The kiss lasted for quite a while, but it didn’t go further than that. Neither of them wanted, or needed, more than that. Trevor got his happy memory, Jeremy got the satisfaction of knowing the other man now had at least one to look back on, and they both got the affection that they’d desperately craved.

“We should get some sleep,” Jeremy whispered, his forehead against Trevor’s as he reluctantly broke the kiss. He could feel the other’s breath fanning over his face and could see that his cheeks were now bright red, and he was sure that his own were the same way. “C’mon,” he urged gently, moving to lay down and guiding Trevor to lay down with him.

Trevor was practically in a daze, his mind had begun to shut down as he waited for the kiss to turn forceful and for the other to start pushing him for more, but it never came. Jeremy was nothing but gentle, even as he made him lay down, and they shared a few more sweet kisses before agreeing that it was time to get some sleep. Jeremy’s arms wrapped around the other securely, holding him close and making him feel safe, and Trevor had an arm slung over Jeremy’s middle, face tucked into his chest. It was, hands down, the best sleep either of them had gotten in a long time, the bags under their eyes receding and bodies aching a lot less than they had the night before. Neither of them would acknowledge the other’s reluctance to move away in the morning either, because they both just wanted to stay put. They’d needed this. Better yet, they’d earned it.

“Geoff’s just gonna have to deal with us showing up late again.”

#ragehappy #rpf #treremy #doollins #jeremy/trevor #mavinsay #juggey #gavinsay #mavin #jerematt #fallout au #fallout 4 au #fic #fanfic #my fic #my writing #everamazingfe

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yume-fanfare · 4 years

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hi i am that anon from like 29th Dec (last dang year) who said i read ur tsuki no hime and loved it and that u understand Aizou. i have read more of ur stuff since then and now i NEED to ask you for writing advice, on both characterization and general writing tips since I didnt mention it before. Sorry about that! i just forgot i sent an ask and i do not get notifs at all (or does anon asks not get notifs?) Also, ART STUDENT! That's why the nice art and art leaning!! I feel smart for sensing it

oh yup, tumblr doesn't send notifs for anon asks! but i'm glad you did see the answer anyway

this post is hideously long, so answer under the cut!

so, on characterization: it is mostly a matter of what would they say, rather than what you want them to say. the joke about "the characters do what they want to" instead of what the writer wants is pretty much true if you want them to be in character lol (that's why sometimes a little bit of OoC isn't too bad)

checking the source material is the most important thing: look at prior similar interactions the characters have had and how they reacted

this is kind of hard with LIPxLIP, as there aren't that many translated texts about them but with honeyworks the most canon and reliable thing to use as reference are the mvs. the mvs are drawn in a way that can pretty much be understood even if you don't have the lyrics, and sometimes it's even better if you can't read them, to properly focus on the images better

look at their expressions closely: while aizou is always explosive in his anger, yuujirou often has a more indifferent expression. so, when they fight, aizou is probably the one to blow up first while yuujirou maintains his composure better. it's kind of the classic "this was only a brief passing panel but i am going to expand on it" www

but the thing about fanfiction is that it's always a bit of a character analysis in itself. you don't start writing having already a color-coded folder of possible situations and reactions a character would have for each setting. you just throw the characters in a scenario and then think from there onwards, and eventually you'll be able to have the folder of situations and what you think their reactions would be like. (though, this links back to the prior point, if the characters have gone through a similar situation in canon, use that as guide! plus, finding little references to canon when reading is always fun)

for general writing, i'm going to mostly talk about my own experiences and process! i'm in no way a professional though

the basic is reading a lot. not just books but also fanfic. in fact, since you're writing fanfic, i Encourage you to read fanfic. even if your story ends up novel length, the way of treating the story is different from that of an actual novel. for example, because you're working under the premise that everyone knows the characters already. the general style of fics is different as well.

in fact, the style is the main reason i'm saying this slfkslfkslkf

read a lot of stuff and find a style you like. think of it as sewing together pieces from here and there to make a frankenstein amalgamation: this person's metaphors, the comparisons from here, the descriptions from there

personally, i adore the "long one-shot with a long title formatted (like this)" fics that are mostly feelings and descriptions and as little dialogue as possible, and some that occasionally play with the "show don't tell" rule, and some months ago i read a book whose descriptions amazed me because you could feel what the character was focusing on the most, rather than being general descriptions of the situation (i actually have a lot of thoughts about descriptions but that's a post for another day). but also i really like dialogue and plot-driven stories, descriptions can get boring and before trying to break rules, you have to be really good at following them

but, let's go step by step: developing an idea

for this i'm going to mostly reference the multichap i finished a while ago as an example

i started with just a few vague concepts in mind: non-idol au with aizou who does some sport and likes music but is insecure about his singing and yuujirou who does some music related thing and encourages him to sing in a way that's somehow related to the hozier song to noisemaking (sing), because it's what inspired me to write in the first place

then, from then onwards i wrote down what would happen in the first chapter of the story bullet-point-list-style, including things like the roommates part or the clubs the boys were in (at first yuujirou was in the choir club lol the change was a last second decision that idk why i took) and then bits of dialogue here and there that would be The Turning Points. those first dialogues were for the fight at the end of ch 1, the apology-date in ch 3 and then some vaguely unused ones for the "yuujirou encourages aizou" part, as those were the first key moments i thought of

because, since it's enemies to friends to lovers, an important aspect was character development

not all fics have character development bc not all of them are long enough (if you're aiming for short and sweet then there's no need). but if they do, i recommend you write down how the character was at the beginning of the story and then how they were at the end and then fill in the middle later, think of what those key turning points that made the character change were (the more little things you add, the more gradual it'll be)

samishigariya illustrates this very nicely: the song starts and finishes with the same lines, but the ending ones feel more light-hearted. the beginning has pre-arisa ken and pre-getting-along-with-yuujirou aizou, when they were the lonely people the title mentioned, and the ending, when they're not lonely anymore. the in between can be seen in depth during the other songs: ken before arisa was a playboy who didn't take love seriously, but after meeting her he realized that games were not all there was to love; and aizou used to be quite cranky and high-key a loner, but then he "meets precious things and knows of love". i will not elaborate on that because this isn't an aiyuu post but Oh You Know

for the fic, aizou would go through that same process, more or less: someone who doesn't really form meaningful connections with people but who, in the end, would end up having quite a bunch of people who care about him as his relationship with yuujirou advances too

since the relationship was the main focus, i wrote a very simple outline for how it would develop throughout 5 hypothetical chapters that was just: 1. civil w each other but mostly bad > 2. bad > 3. half friends > 4. pining > 5. date

and then with that in mind and the bullet point list, the final basic outline ended up like this:

there were scraped ideas and ideas that made it in later, but i believe having a simple outline, a bare skeleton to add things to, is important. stories need continuity, development requires a prior buildup

it's especially important in multichapter fics where you post as you write, you need to have a more or less clear idea of what's going to happen because you can't ignore scenes you've already posted

shorter stories don't need it as much, you can think as you go, but it's still helpful to know where you're going with things to avoid getting stuck

and, on getting stuck: don't be afraid of deleting things. if you can't figure out how to continue things, then delete the situation and start again. it might feel like you'd be wasting time but in the end, it is so much better than being stuck on the same scene for weeks

in fact, you don't have to write in order. jump to the next scene and you'll figure it out later. you Can write the scene you want to write and then build everything else around it

it's normal to write a scene and then realize it would make more sense later in the story, or that it would be better if you added another scene earlier, or sometimes you just find it easier to jump from one part of the story to another. rely on your outline to keep track of what you've written, what you have left to write and what's the best way to arrange your story. make your story understandable

which bring us to editing

there's a lot of much better posts on editing stories, but yeah ctrl+f is your best friend: don't repeat yourself too much. and be sure to vary sentence and paragraph length, as well as sentence structure, to give dynamism to the writing

now, i've mentioned before the show, don't tell rule, but i'm going to talk a bit more about it because it's quite important

once again there's a lot of posts that explain more in depth what it is, so i'm not going to expand too much on that, but, very basically, try to avoid things like "then some time passed and they became friends". explain it: what happened exactly? how did they become friends? if it's important, show it to us, instead of summarizing

since things like these make the story longer, it also gives room for more development and proper explanation for things that happen

for example, the fic was originally going to start with them already in the room, and the whole situation would have been explained in a single paragraph somewhere, but by actually adding the scene where they first arrive to the dorms and argue with the lady at the main desk, the story flows better and it let me actually describe their first meeting

and uuuhhh i think that's all? this took super long to write i hope i didn't forget any super basic stuff lol

i want to add that for enemies to lovers i greatly recommend this post bc it's super good but yeah i think that's basically it, if you have any more specific questions just shoot me an ask

#god this is so long #how should i tag this #tutorials #i guess #anonymous #preguntas

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