#i find myself more favorable to it the more i think on it but idk

[wizardyuri]

Heavenly delusion<3 I like it!

Manga spoilers and cw for SA

I'm kind of torn on how they handled the whole, Robin situation? I think if we got a little more of Kiruko's thoughts on it afterwards I'd be more, comfortable with it. The difference in character after the event is really noticeable and I really appreciate the ways that they show how his identity has been changed by his assault but I just think that it's kind of? A little too subtle for something that big

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[courviknight]

huh.

[forever-rogue]

Hiiiiiii so idk if you saw how Kourtney Kardashian revealed her pregnancy to Travis Barker but it SCREAMS Rockstar!Eddie to me…

Just imagine him jumping off the stage after a show all sweaty and shit, kissing you over and over again, just over the moon so happy… I- it’s doing things to me 🥵

AN | I have not seen it, but looked it up, and it’s totally rockstar!eddie! Enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Rockstar!Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.3k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"No way," you looked between the small stick in one hand and the box in the other. You weren't sure if you were more excited or nervous or downright terrified, "no way!"

You looked in the mirror and studied your reflection; you were wild-eyed and flushed, hair in a messy bun and still in pajamas. You'd basically woken up and run to the store as such and still hadn't made much progress. You were much too excited. 

Today marked the second period in a row that you'd missed. Combined with the way you'd started to feel lately, you couldn't help but wonder. And that led you to this moment - finding out that you were pregnant.

Your first thought was to call Eddie right away to tell him the good news. You hadn't been trying to get pregnant but you hadn't been trying to prevent it either. But - Eddie was still away, so close to being home from the tour Corroded Coffin was currently on. Tomorrow night was the hometown and last show of the tour. You'd see him soon.

And that gave you a wonderful little idea.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Nancy," you called her as soon as you'd gotten showered and dressed, still feeling like you were in a daydream, "I've got a big favor to ask!"

"Uh oh," you could hear the amusement in her voice, "what did you get up to this time, trouble?"

"I may or may not have gotten myself knocked up," you waited with baited breath for her to catch on. Trying to keep it casual and nonchalant was already proving to be a challenge. It took her a few moments before you heard her excited gasp.

"You're pregnant?!" She was practically squealing in delight as you nodded enthusiastically, barely remembering that she couldn't see, "oh my god, that's amazing! When did you find out?"

"Like an hour ago," you still had the test on the kitchen counter next to you, "you're the first to know."

"Yay," your best friend sounded like she was tearing up as well, "I'm so happy for you. Seriously, this is wonderful. Our babies will be able to grow up together!"

"And Steve and Eddie can be the dorkiest dads ever," you sighed softly, "I haven't told Eddie but since tomorrow's the last show of their tour, I figured I'd surprise him then. I have an idea-"

"I'm in!"

"I haven't even told you what the plan is yet!"

"I don't care," you loved her tenacity, "I'm in regardless!"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Later that evening the two of you were camped in your living room, with big, colorful markers and poster boards. Your plan was to right some sort of announcement on them to Eddie, letting him know that you were pregnant. You played around with a couple of different ideas, but eventually settled on one. You'd be front and center at the show tomorrow and would make sure he saw your sign.

"Do you think he's even going to notice?" You looked at your handiwork and let out a long sigh, "or do you think he'll ignore it? Maybe he'll think it's just a random fan."

"Seriously?" Nancy scoffed playfully as she nudged your leg with hers. You offered her a sheepish grin in return, "he always looks for you. He's…such a sucker for you."

"Hopefully," you couldn't help the way that her comment made you feel. You knew he loved you, that much was always obvious, but knowing others saw it too was an entirely different type of sensation, "especially now that I'm carrying his kid."

"He's going to freak out," you raised your eyebrows in question and she shook her head, "freak out in a good way! He's going to he terrified, but he's going to be a great dad. And you'll be a great mom. Swear."

"I hope so…if not I've got months to agonize over it," you finished coloring in the big block lettering of your word and leaned against the couch, "was it both incredibly amazing and terrifying for you when you found out?"

"Duh," she teased softly, "its normal. No one's got it all figured, but that's okay. It's going to be amazing."

"What if I'm not ready?"

"It's a little too late for that, I think," she winked at you, and your entire face flushed. You'd always been all in for Eddie - this just made you even more sure of that.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I'm having second thoughts," you looked over at Nancy who was standing to your right with a huge smile on her face. She understood your nerves - she'd felt the same way the first time she told Steve she was pregnant. You were clutching the poster in your hand so tightly that your knuckles were turning white, "maybe I shouldn't."

"You should and you will," she wiggled the poster in her hands and offered you what she hoped was an encouraging smile, "we're here, the posters are ready, and Eddie will be on stage any moment!"

"Okay," you felt sick to your stomach, but you were pretty sure it wasn't anything due to your pregnancy, "right."

Before you could argue with her any further, the crowd erupted into deafening cheers. The sudden shift in the excitement caused you to startle for a moment before nerves settled into your bones. You were in the front VIP area, close to the stage as you often were, which gave you a perfect view of the stage. 

You almost swooned when Eddie came onto the stage along with the rest of the band. The crowd was cheering their name and you couldn't help but join in. This was exactly where he was meant to be - he owned the stage with grace and ease. 

Eddie gave a little speech before the band rolled into their set. Any remaining nerves went away as you sang and bopped along to the music with Nancy. It was easy to lose yourself in the moment, but you were quickly pulled back into reality when you saw Eddie looking around the crowd. He was looking for you, just as it always was. 

You heard your heartbeat in your ears as everything around you seemed to disappear. You weren't in a sea of thousands anymore - it was just the two of you. His pretty face lit up with a saccharine and beaming smile as his eyes found yours. Your own smile in return was practically ethereal as you blew him a kiss. He winked before slipping back into rockstar mode and continued playing his heart you.

 You always wondered how he could even find you, considering the bright lights of the stage made it difficult to see much of the audience. He said it was because his heart always knew where to find you. He called him a dork; he called himself a hopeless romantic for you.

"Oh come on," Nancy practically squealed as she held onto your arm, "the two of you are disgustingly precious!"

"I know," you admitted softly, "I know."

As the rest of the show went on, you kept trying to find the perfect moment to hold up your poster. You decided to save it for the last song - what better way to end the show?

You shouted your little plan into Nancy's ear and, to no one's surprise, she totally supported the idea. Once they started playing the last song you threw up your posters and started calling Eddie's name loudly. The two of you were attracting attention from all around you. Part of you expected to find angry looking faces ready to tell you to keep it down but instead you found a lot of excited faces.

"Eddie!" You shouted his name at the top of your lungs, jumping up and down to capture his attention. That seemed to spark something in him and he turned towards you. It took him a few moments to lock eyes with you, but once he did you saw him look at the posters the two of you were holding up. 

His expression blanked for a moment before he seemed to realize what they said. In big, bright letters your sign said, Eddie, I'm pregnant! while Nancy's said Eddie, she's pregnant! 

“Hold on,” Eddie stopped playing, looking at you the entire time as he grabbed his mic, “pardon me for a moment.”

And with that, he practically ripped his guitar off and set it on its stand at the edge of the stage before jumping down into the audience and making his way over to you, pushing eagerly through the crowd. He stopped right in front of you, reading over your sign again before looking at you with a nervous expression. His heart was beating so wildly that he was surprised that it didn’t burst through his ribcage. 

“Baby,” his voice was almost trembling as you looked at him with teary eyes, “are you serious? We’re having a baby?”

“Yes,” and just like that, the tears were running down your cheek as you nodded at him, “I’m pregnant.”

“No fucking way,” he eagerly, but still tenderly, took your face in his hands before leaning in to kiss you. You could feel him smiling against your lips as he kissed you; the fact that you were in the middle of a giant crowd didn’t both either of you. He pulled back and gently brushed away your tears, “we’re having a baby?”

“We’re having a baby,” you confirmed as he looked at you incredulously. To him you were, and had always been, pure magic. You were the girl of his dreams and now you were having his baby? It seemed like a dream, “surprise!”

“Best surprise ever,” he promised as he kissed you again. He looked back at the stage and then at you, “let me, ugh, let me wrap things up real quick.”

“By all means,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek before nudging him back towards the stage, “I’ll be right here.”

He nodded before almost running back to the stage, leaping onto it and grabbing his beloved guitar again. He turned back to the rest of the band and they looked at him in understanding, already well aware of where this was going. 

“Ladies and gents,” he looked through the crowd that was eagerly watching him, “I think I’ve just gotten the best news ever from the best person ever. My girl - she’s pregnant!”

Your entire body warmed up as you shook your head at his antics. But you knew him and loved him, and the fact that he was immediately so excited made your heart feel happy and relieved. You could feel the crowd turn to you as they started to cheer. 

“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and now she’s giving me the best thing ever,” he took a moment to breath, already feeling a rush of emotion bubble up, “baby, I love you so much. And, on that note, we’re gonna end this night on a song that I wrote for her when we first started dating. So if you know the words, sing along!”

He launched into your song, one of many, and a huge part of the crowd joined him. It was such an odd thing to have so many people singing one song in unity and to know that it was al for you. Eddie might have a been a lot of things, but he was the love of your life. That much you’d always known.

Sure, the idea of being pregnant and having a baby was terrifying, but with Eddie at your side, you were sure it would all be okay.

-

After the show, you made your way backstage, not even having to bother to flash your access pass as you looked for Eddie. You felt electric, but you couldn’t wait to have a moment alone with him.

As soon as you were in his proximity, he spotted you and made his way over to you. This time he was able to wrap his arms around you and pulled into his body, hugging you tightly.

“Eddie,” you laughed softly, feeling him pepper kisses all over the side of your head, “I can’t breathe!”

“Sorry,” his cheeks pinked as he looked you over, almost as if he was trying to see any visible sign of your pregnancy, “I’m just…wow. You’re pregnant and I’m just…wow.”

“I found out yesterday,” you reached into your pocket and handed him one of the several tests you’d taken, “and I wanted to surprise you.”

“Best surprise ever,” he looked at the small stick with a look of awe etched into his features, “and that little reveal? Baby, you’re a genius. This is…fuck, I’m so in love with you.”

“Are you…happy?’ you asked softly, still craving the reassurance despite his clear indication of happiness.

“So happy,” he brushed his knuckles along your cheek, sighing softly, “this is amazing, baby. There’s no one else I’d ever want to do with this. But, it’s about you too - are you happy?”

“Yes,” you promised, taking his hand and settling onto your belly, where soon you’d be able to see evidence of your child, “happier than ever. I love you so much, Eddie.”

“I love you too, baby,” he whispered so only you could hear it. You felt him gently rub your belly, “and you too, baby. Both of you - so much.”

[withleeknow]

for the requests — i'll send two songs that i've liked for quite a while and you can choose the member that you see who fits the vibe?

sand by dove cameron

and

make you mine by madison beer

conversations with strangers.

pairing: seungmin x gn!reader genre/warnings: exes to ??, non-idol au (i wrote this with seungmin in mind as a celebrity/singer or musician of some sort so it's pretty vague and it's not explicitly mentioned what he actually does, so if you wanna imagine him as an idol it still fits the narrative. i can't tell you what to do lol), Angst™️! (i think. i liked this at first but then i was looking at it so much that i became desensitized to it and idk if it's that sad anymore lol); the ending is a little ambiguous maybe?, mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, could've been more edited word count: 2.9k note: this might be one of my favorite things that i've written lately but i am also in my fish freshly dropped on land era so i am fully prepared for this to flop like ass lol bye

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / request masterlist / ko-fi

I saw the end when we began You couldn't love the way I can I tried to bargain with the stars For more than half of your heart But you have more pieces of me than the desert has sand And I have less pieces of you than I can hold in my hand

Sand - Dove Cameron

"Why did you call me?"

"Why did you come?"

There isn't a good answer to his question, so you choose to ignore it in favor of keeping your eyes on the road, your fingers holding tightly onto the steering wheel. You don't know what to tell him. You yourself aren't even sure why you came to that bar, why Seungmin is sitting in your passenger seat right now just because he was drunk and he wouldn't let anyone take him home but you.

"I asked you first," you say. It takes an effort to keep your voice even, an effort not to look over at him.

"Don't know," he sounds like he couldn't care less, but that's always been Seungmin for you. "Old habits die hard, I guess. You were the only one I used to call."

You round a corner without even having to look at the GPS. The route to his place is still ingrained in your brain even after all this time. On some nights when you feel too stuffy indoors, you would go on a walk by yourself. Directionless for an hour or two, you just want to feel the wind wrap around your body and solid ground beneath your feet.

On these same nights, you would find yourself at Seungmin's door.

It's always unintentional, the way your feet would carry you to his home without your permission.

"Used to," you reiterate. "Past tense. You don't get to call me anymore. I'm not your chauffeur."

You feel his eyes on the side of your face. Then his voice, ever so calm and collected, "You came anyway, didn't you?"

His words irritate you for some reason, even though he means nothing bad. No malice in his voice; he's just simply stating a fact. You did come when he called, and perhaps the person that you're really annoyed with is only yourself, because why did you come?

He should be a stranger to you by now, and yet, you're here.

Maybe you know the answer. Maybe it's not a hard question at all.

You let the both of you wallow in silence for the rest of the drive. When you pull up to Seungmin's building about ten minutes later, you finally turn to cast your gaze upon him with your eyebrow slightly raised, a polite Get out if there ever was one.

Instead of taking the hint like a normal person and going on his merry way, he just stares at you with his big eyes and his hair still styled to perfection even after a night of celebrating and drinking. Seungmin loves to be difficult, this you can't ever forget.

"Well?" you press. "You're home."

He blinks, then swallows thickly. He looks around your car for a few seconds, unsure of himself. If he wasn't intoxicated, you would think he's trying to stall.

"I... I can't go up by myself," he says.

"Are you serious?"

He just nods, something expectant in his gaze.

"You're a grown man."

"Help me up." He doesn't sound all too drunk, but maybe he's just got a way of masking it because Seungmin would never outright ask for help. He's stubborn, and he thinks it makes him look weak. Incapable.

In the end, you give in to his request. You let him lean on you in the elevator on the way up to his floor, the scent of his cologne still overpowering the bourbon he had all night and it makes you just a little nostalgic.

At his door, you hold onto his waist and look away when he punches in the passcode. The door unlocks and this should be it for the two of you, your unexpected reunion should be ending the moment Seungmin crosses over to the other side of the threshold, but he just turns around and looks at you, his body against the frame of the door this time.

"There, you're home safely," you say. "I've done my part. Goodnight."

"Come in."

"Why?"

"I'm tired. Come in." And with that, Seungmin retreats into the apartment, leaving the door open for you to follow without any further explanation at all. For a moment, you stand there by yourself, not really sure of what to do. You hear him shuffling inside, before the sound of his body plopping onto the couch carries over to your ears.

What business do you have here? What business did you have with Seungmin in the first place today?

And yet, you find yourself trailing inside, closing the door behind you until the lock clicks into place. Maybe you're curious to see what the place looks like since the last time that you were here. The two of you never lived together - you weren't foolish enough to agree even though he did ask - but you were over often enough to consider this your second home.

Not much has changed. It's still the same minimalist four walls that you were used to. Same light gray paint, same black couch. Same framed signature of his favorite baseball player and same tiny crack in the decorative bowl on the coffee table. There's a photo on the credenza lying face down seemingly on purpose, but you don't say anything about it.

"What am I doing here?" you ask.

"Why did you come?" he shoots you the question for the second time tonight.

You blink at him. He only stares back.

"Why did you call me?" you repeat. "Why did you really call me?"

Questions thrown out but no answers received, like you're both running in circles, with neither of you knowing why you're even running in the first place.

Seungmin purses his lips before he stands up, the suddenness of the movement leaves him unsteady on his feet, makes him hold onto the couch's armrest for support. "Do you want some water?"

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Okay."

"Give me a second. Have a seat."

You watch as he pads into the kitchen a little wobbly, then returns a few minutes later with two glasses of water. He sits back down on the couch next to you, some distance dividing the two of you. He takes a sip, you do the same.

"Called you because I missed you," he says, casually admitting it like he was merely discussing the weather. The place hasn't changed, but maybe he has.

The last time you spoke to Seungmin was about six months ago, when he dropped off your things two weeks after you broke up. You haven't had any contact since, and that's exactly the way it should be for you and him now. You went your separate ways and that was it. A mutual agreement that hurts, but it was mutual nonetheless. For the past half a year, all he's been to you is a stranger. You know why it had to happen. You agreed to it.

But, just because you haven't talked, doesn't mean that you haven't thought of him. You wish he only crossed your mind in passing, wish your brain only conjured up the image of him whenever you saw something that he would like, or whenever you caught a glimpse of him on the TV or radio. In reality, it's been much more pathetic. You think of him almost every day, despite your best efforts to cleanse yourself of everything that's remotely related to the name Kim Seungmin. His absence carries itself with you all the time, a hollowness that seeps into every crevice of your life.

You know he means it. Seungmin doesn't lie, least of all to you. His honesty twists inside of you like a knife. Salt, meet wound.

You have no words to offer him, no response you can think of that would make sense to say out loud so you don't say anything. The only sound that falls from your lips is his name, like a warning, a plea, a consolation all at once.

But he doesn't seem to mind. Not his sudden vulnerability, not your reluctance to entertain that split second of honesty.

"I answered your question. Now you have to answer mine," he says. "Why did you come?"

"What do you want me to tell you?"

He doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes a moment like he's mulling it over in his head. "Thought maybe you missed me too," he says eventually, ending the sentence with a bitter chuckle. "Just a little bit."

You tongue your cheek, stall with another sip of water before you place the glass on the table. On a coaster of course, Seungmin hates cup rings on his fancy table.

You lean back to rest on the couch, staring up at his boring ceiling. There are memories of you on this very couch, ones of you lying with your head on his lap as he plays with your hair, the two of you winding down after a long day. Or ones that are far too inappropriate to bring up ever again, of nights where you were both too desperate and impatient to take it to the bedroom. Those gentle reminders are still here somewhere, tucked between the cushions perhaps.

"Sure." You hum, nodding along. "Let's go with that."

Another chuckle, humorless. Though, you think he's pleased enough with that non-answer but you're not sure. He mirrors your position, falling into the couch with a sigh. From your peripheral vision, you think he's scooched closer to you, just by a few centimeters, in the process of settling into the sofa.

"My turn," you say. "Why do you want me here?"

"What is this, 21 questions?"

You shrug simply. "You asked me to come in. I'm just curious."

When Seungmin stays silent for a beat too long, you turn your head to watch him, thinking maybe he's knocked out because of the alcohol in his system. But you find him wide awake, his eyes staring ahead, looking like he's already sober.

His face is unreadable when he says, "Wanted to see something."

"See what?"

"See if something is still there."

It's your turn to remain quiet as you process his words, and it's Seungmin who has to turn to gauge your reaction.

"And? Is anything still there?" you ask.

"I don't know, you tell me. You're the one that stayed."

"Does it matter? If I say there is?"

"Of course it does."

"What would you do about it?"

He goes still once more. You know he doesn't have an answer to your question. What would he do? What could he even do? Patch things up only for them to fall apart again in a couple months? Once upon a time, you were naive enough to think that you could find a way to make it work. You had enough blind faith to think that it would all work out in the end; that if you wanted it enough, maybe the universe would let you have this one thing.

You return your gaze to the ceiling. He's shown you his cards, maybe it's only fair that you show him some of yours too.

An uncertain inhale, then the realization that this is the only time you would be able to have an honest conversation with him about this.

"Wanna hear something funny?" you ask.

"I have a feeling you're gonna tell me anyway."

It's anything but funny, and Seungmin is certain that you're not building up to a punchline. Sure, it's a little tragic that nothing matters, but there's some freedom, some comfort in that too. You can tell him everything that's plagued your mind for the past couple hundred days or so without having to worry about the repercussions. Even though not all is said, everything is already done.

"You know, you were mine before you were anyone else's," you say. You feel his eyes on the side of your face. The silence persists, and you aren't sure if you can take it as a sign to continue, but you do so anyway because at least he's not pumping the brakes on it, right? "I used to be jealous of your life. Toward the end, I mean."

"Jealous of what?"

"I don't know. Just your life, your dream. All of it."

Seungmin blinks. "You were jealous that I got to live my dream?"

"I said I was jealous of your life, not you," you correct him. "Because you always seemed to want everything else more than you wanted me."

"You make it sound like I was the bad guy." He turns a little defensive all of a sudden, an edge in his voice when he says, "That's not true."

You still remember him well enough to know that it is.

And it's not such a terrible thing; it's simply the truth. You can't fault him for having a dream and for having enough courage to see it through, even if it means unintentionally leaving you behind in the process. You could foresee the end even from the beginning. If you wanted to blame someone, you would have to blame yourself too.

You swerve around his metaphorical walls, his make-believe suit of armor. If you'd been nervous around Seungmin tonight, then that anxiety is now chipping away brick by brick the more you internalize the fact that nothing matters anymore.

"Remember your last show before we broke up? You were so happy, I was so proud of you. You belong on stage and I never wanted to take that away from you. But then I noticed the crowd, the thousands of people out there cheering your name and I realized that I would never compare to them. Their praise meant more to you than mine, and it was only a matter of time before you outgrew me to look for bigger and better spotlights.

"I'm not saying you were wrong for any of it. I don't blame you. You were always going to outgrow me. It's sad, but it's okay. I always knew that you'd have to leave me behind at some point. It's on me too; I just fell too hard too fast for someone who could never stay. It's your dream, you can't help it. But that night... that was the nail in the coffin for me, knowing that one day, to you, I would be just one of the faces in a crowd that you can't even tell apart."

It doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would. In fact, it's even a little cathartic to pour out the words that have been sitting heavy on your chest. Although it's not until a single tear spills over that you realize your eyes have welled up somewhere along the way. You quickly wipe it away with your thumb, then you feel his hand reach for yours after a few beats.

Seungmin calls your name, and you can hear the regret in his voice. When you look at him, his eyes have softened, no longer on the defense now that you've beat him to the offense. "I'm not drunk enough to forget about this in the morning, you know," he says.

"Does it matter? What are you going to do about it in the morning?" you ask. "We're already broken up. It's not like we can go anywhere from here. But at least now you know what it was like for me."

It seems to be a common theme tonight - stretches of silence in between admissions of truth so that one of you can gauge the other's reaction, trying to assess what path would be worth it to take at this crossroad you find yourselves unable to move on from.

Then he's tugging on your hand, pulling you to him until you're in each other's orbit again. Close enough for him to wrap his arm around you. Close enough that you're weak, not that you were ever that strong to begin with. It doesn't really come as a surprise that you let him.

"I..." Seungmin starts, full of uncertainty as he tries to string together a sentence. "We could go back."

This isn't a surprise either, that you're considering his words.

"What happens when it ends again?"

You can practically taste the residual bourbon on his breath when he leans into you, his lips brushing your cheek just slightly. "Then it ends again," he says, a little pained, all too selfish. "But it'll be worth it. It's worth it to me."

"What if it's not what I want? What if it's not worth it to me?"

He pulls back, putting some distance between your faces so he could see you better, the deep brown of his eyes searching for something that you're both aware of.

"You came tonight," he murmurs, as if that in and of itself is a sufficient enough explanation. "You stayed."

Not all is said, but everything is already done.

You had chance after chance after chance to leave, to shut this down - whatever this is - but you didn't, not even once. You're still a willing participant even though you've lived through this ending before. You know he loved you, know he loves you even if the way he goes about it is selfish.

Because you do know the answer to his questions. It's clear as day; anyone can see it from a mile away.

When your world eventually comes crashing down again some time from now, you won't blame Seungmin. You won't blame yourself either, despite having option to walk away from all of this right now.

Because maybe some pains are worth enduring twice, aren't they?

Why did you come? Why did you stay?

Is anything still there?

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 08.06.2024]

[vxntagedior]

hello gorgeous! love your writings! thank u so much for your works! if you don't mind, i have a mini crack thought about witch!reader x xavier maybe friends to lovers? they're casually hanging out together and witch!reader asks out of nowhere "are u a virgin?" xavier is confused like "why?" "need some male virgin blood for a potion/ritual" idk why i've been thinking abt this mini dialog for weeks but i've found it hilarious. it's ok if it doesn't inspire you or something, though. thank u in advance!

to keep thy young

summary | you make a joke at xavier who just gets more and more confused

pairing | xavier thorpe x fem!witch!reader

warning | fluff, humor, mentions of virginity, mentions of blood

word count | 435

Your nose was deep into your spell book, looking up occasionally to your caldron, Xavier hearing you mutter something under your breath before going back to reading. 

Xavier was used to it whenever he came to your room, unless it was an emergency, you’d be into your witchy powers as Xavier would like to call it. 

The two of you had an odd friendship, while you kept your nose in a book, in the library whenever you had the free time, while Xavier kept up with his art, attending the Nightshades, meeting you for the first time in front of the Poe Statue. 

“Xavier.” You called out to him. It was a shock that he saw you out so late and that neither of you hadn’t been caught. “I need a favor from you.”

“Uh.” He muttered, feeling conflicted. 

“I know about the secret library, and I need to get in.” You went straight to the point. Sharing a few classes with him was probably the most you knew of him, and the drama that went around Nevermore when he and Bianca broke up.

Xavier was enchanted when he first met you, he always thought you held a certain aura around you, and you were more beautiful than he could ever imagine, there was no way he could say no. 

Meeting that fateful day was when your blooming friendship developed, something Xavier dreaded because he wanted to be so much more than friends. 

Hearing a loud groan from you, Xavier pulled out one of his headphones. “You okay?”

Sighing, you turned around looking at your best friend dead in the eye, not wanting a second, “Are you a virgin?”

Stunned, Xavier was shocked what you asked him, completely off guard. “Um.” He licked his lips, “No.”

“Great.” You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes, “Guess I could go find Eugune.”

“Why do you want to know?” After you mentioning Eugune’s name Xavier was just more confused. 

“I need the blood of a male virgin.” You shrugged, “I need to keep myself young, wrinkles are starting to show.”

Xavier was to the point beyond confusion, starting to gear towards delusion. “What the fuck.”

Hearing you laugh, Xavier watched as you finally turned around to face him. “I’m joking.”

Even hearing you say that, he still couldn’t believe you. “It’s not a youth potion, I’m making a wolfsbane remedy, just wanted to see your reaction.”

Xavier just stared at you, starting to laugh quietly with you. “Do any of your spells or potions ask for the blood of a virgin.”

“Oh yeah.” You grinned, “Tons.”

[motherjoel]

something special (part 2) (joel miller/reader)

part 2 to something special!! i recommend reading that first but tbh it doesn't matter too much

wc: 5.3k

warnings: fluffy and maybe a teensy bit angsty. uhhhh smut? oral f!receiving and pee pee in wee wee

a/n: omg like i wrote part one of this so long ago but I was struck with inspiration and horniness so I made a part 2!!! i hope you guys like this, it was really fun to write lmao BUT PLS don't be mad if its a little ooc and also ignore marias whole backstory cause reader is her sister and they didn't have parents so Jackson wasn't created by their dad idk the logistics just bear with me here.

PART ONE

-

His tongue skated lightly over your neck, his left hand resting firmly on the back of your head and his right on the sliver of bare skin between your t-shirt and pants. The kitchen counter was cold against your back, the granite digging into your spine. You let a soft moan escape your lips as he sucked a particularly sensitive part of your neck, prompting him to move his lips to your own with a growl. His hands migrated to your hips, tapping them to urge you to hop up onto the counter. As you move to slide up, his hands grip your waist and lift you the rest of the way. 

 You briefly break the kiss to situate yourself before diving back in, your core now warm against his stomach. You work to lift his shirt off, him returning the favor. Then, the doorbell rings. He doesn’t acknowledge it, but it doesn’t stop. You both try to ignore it, though it's persistent in its ringing.

You wake with a start, sweat now cooling on the back of your neck that makes you shiver. Your legs clench together in the aftermath of your dream, the telltale signs between your legs indicating what had just happened. You smile to yourself, noting that this is the first time you’ve dreamed in months. You’d much preferred this to the screaming and blood of your nightmares.

The doorbell continues to ring, and after a groan into your pillow, you stand and rub your eyes. You can’t tell if the dizziness you’re feeling is a consequence of the drinks you’d had or the dream you’d had. Either way, you push it aside to open the door.

“Jesus, you look like shit,” Maria chuckles as she pushes herself inside your house, carrying a heavily packed tote bag. 

“Thanks, it's a new look I'm trying,” you turn away from her to head to the kitchen for a glass of water as she makes herself comfortable.

“Well I’m sure Joel would love it,” she smirks, seating herself at the kitchen table. You blush at the thought of the man you’d been dreaming of moments before. 

“God, last night was…” you shake your head, “did I embarrass myself?” you ask with a wince. Maria snorts a laugh.

“Quite the opposite, actually. I think you made… quite the impression. Or at least, that's what Tommy said,” she begins to unpack the bag she brought. Inside is the biggest breakfast sandwich you’ve ever seen and some coffee grounds. You’d told Maria you needed more just yesterday, and her thoughtful ass just had to get you some. You almost rolled your eyes at the level of thoughtfulness.

“Wait… Tommy? Did he talk to Joel? What did Joel say? Does he… what does he think of me? Did I embarrass myself? Oh my god, Maria, he probably thinks i'm crazy,” you rant, waiting for her to interrupt you. She watches, almost too amused to stop you.

“Yes, yes. Tommy talked to Joel... which I’m not happy about, by the way!” she pauses to give you a look, but you groan, urging her to continue. “Okay, okay. He said… he said something about you being ‘special’. Tommy thinks he’s a goner,” Maria scoffs and moves to the old coffee pot you have on the counter to make a fresh pot. 

“Oh… thats… wow,” you can’t quite find the words you’re looking for. You feel like a blushing schoolgirl. 

“Yeah, well…” Maria pauses, both of her hands on the counter as she thinks. She turns back to you. “Just… be careful, yeah?” you furrow your brows at her words.

“What do you mean? I’m a grown adult, I think I can handle myself,” you feel yourself getting frustrated at her words, as if she doesn’t have any confidence in your own abilities.

“I know you can handle yourself. You’re an independant badass, we’re all aware,” she raises her hands in defense as you give her a small smile. “I just mean… It's Joel. Tommy told me some things about him… things he did before he came here, and-” you cut her off.

“Alright, I don’t need to hear this. Maria, seriously, we all did things to survive! I’m definitely not somebody to judge,” you lower your head, flashes of pre-Jackson floating through your head.

“I know, I’m just saying. Be careful, alright?” you nod before grabbing your sandwich and sitting at the table.

“Alright,” you take a bite of the sandwich and let out a moan. “Fuck that’s good. Okay, so what else did Tommy say?”

-

Joel forgot what a hangover felt like. He’d vaguely remembered the head-pounding nausea of his youth, but a memory is nothing like the real thing. The real thing was much, much worse.

As he lies in his bed, thumb and pointer finger pinching the bridge of his nose, he recounts the previous night. He remembers the vitriol spewing from that man's lips and he can't help but mentally thank him for facilitating your encounter. He remembers the bottle of pinot noir, particularly the way it tasted on your tongue. He smiles to himself, the unfamiliar butterflies in his stomach unsettling him as much as exciting him. He needed to see you, and soon. Maybe if he got the courage to leave the house.

Before he can make up his mind, his doorbell rings. With a groan, he stands from his bed. Damn knees. After taking a moment to steady himself, he makes his way down the stairs. He glances at his coffee pot, noting the lack of coffee grounds. He softly curses to himself, realizing he’ll have to figure out how to get some. Tommy had given him a tour of the town when he first arrived to officially settle in, but he’s realizing just how little he’d absorbed. 

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he swings open his door to see you. You, with your shy smile and your bright eyes. You wear a loose-fitting flannel, and jealousy tugs at his gut as he thinks about who’s flannel that could be. Butterflies soon replace the jealousy as he imagines that it’s his own. His own, meaning he could probably take it off himself. You open your mouth to speak, cutting him off from his thoughts.

“Here,” you stretch out your arm. Joel notices, for the first time, a mug of black coffee in your hand. His mouth opens a bit as he gasps softly, hoping that you didn't hear. “It’s a bitch trying to get coffee grounds around here, but I figured I’d share my stash,” you shrugged, still holding the mug out with an awkward smile. He reaches for it, your fingers grazing as he grabs the warm mug.

“Thanks,” he replies shortly, taking a small sip and rolling his eyes back into his head. “Jesus, that's good,” he chuckles softly before taking another sip.

You watch him drink, his throat bobbing as he sips. His lips glisten with the coffee, and it takes all of your willpower not to taste them yourself. You look down to the white t-shirt he’s wearing, tufts of hair poking out of the top. His flannel pajama pants make you giggle- he looks like someone's father. Someone's sexy father.

“Something funny?” he raises his eyebrow before taking another sip, savoring the bitterness he’d missed so dearly.

“No, nothing it's just… you look cute when you wake up,” you blush, eyeing the way his hand rests on his hip. His shirt rides up under his hand, the small sliver of skin like a car crash you can’t stop looking at.

“Cute? I look… cute?” Joel raises his eyebrows more, if even possible. He can’t recall a woman ever calling him cute. Certainly not a woman he was… interested in. 

“You know what I mean,” you nudge his arm before pulling your hand back, crossing your arms so as not to touch him more than you already had. Joel didn’t really know what you mean.

“Well, you do, too. Look cute, I mean,” he scratches the back of his neck, studying the freckles on your face. The way they move when you talk and smile. You’re gorgeous and it makes Joel realize just how out of his element he is. He feels himself grow cold, ice freezing over the warm puddle you turned his heart into. “I have to, uh,” he points his thumb inside, desperately thinking of an excuse to get away from you so he could calm the beating of his heart. He fails to think of one.

“Oh,” your face falls a bit but you quickly plaster a smile on your face. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” you turn on your heel, the warmth of embarrassment creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks. 

Jesus, what were you thinking? This man has a daughter and at least 10 years on you. Those things didn’t matter to you whatsoever, especially now, but they probably mattered to him, right? You shake your head as you approach the stables, ready for a day of work. As much as you love human interaction, you really loved working with the horses. They obviously can’t judge you, so you tell them all of your problems as a way of working things out. 

You approached Jessa, a filly born about a year ago. She was completely brown except for a few white spots on her head and around her ankles. You call them her boots. 

“What am I gonna do here, Jess?” you frown, opening her stall and taking a seat on a milk crate next to her. She whinnies softly. “I know, I know, I’m crazy, right?” Jessa huffs. “We were drunk, Jess. It was a mistake, I guess,” you stand, pet her head, and leave her to see Joel standing awkwardly at the front of the stables. Your heart drops at the possibility of him overhearing you. He fidgets before speaking up. 

“I’m supposed to meet Tommy,” he murmurs, looking anywhere but you.

“Oh. What for?” you ask, noting the accidental edge in your own voice. Joel's eyebrows pinch together at your tone.

“Uh, patrol. Training,” he clears his throat. “About, um, earlier,” he starts, taking a small step closer to you. Before he continues, Tommy enters. 

“Well, hello there, lovebirds,” Tommy strides through the stables confidently, a stark contrast to his brother. He ruffles the hair on your head and you swat his hand away, rolling your eyes at his brotherly nature. You choose to ignore his nickname for the two of you, opting to help them get their horses for patrol.

“So, you trainin’ him?” you ask, reaching to grab the saddles from the wall. Joel doesn’t miss the way your shirt rides up. 

“Yeah, gettin’ the old man ready to start pulling some weight around here,” he smirks when Joel visibly rolls his eyes. 

“Ah, well, good luck out there,” you smile and hand Tommy the reins, ignoring Joel completely. Tommy raises an eyebrow but chooses to stay silent, thanking you and leading Joel to the gates.

-

Joel was never a smooth man. Even in his prime, he didn’t date much. It's not like he had much of a prime, what with having Sarah so young. He wouldn’t have traded her for the world, but it's a simple fact. Joel was out of his element. He’s kicking himself from the second you walk away. How did he fuck up so badly?

As he shuts the door, he turns to see Ellie at the kitchen table, watching his every move.

“When the hell’d you get here?” he starts, eyeing down Ellie who is currently staring him down with wide eyes.

“Like 20 minutes ago, you walked right past me,” she shrugged and took a bite of the granola bar in front of her. She speaks before swallowing “the fuck was that, by the way?” she questions. Joel grimaces.

“Don’t talk with food in your mouth. S’impolite,” he walks past her to sit on his couch, mug of coffee in his hands. He studies the mug, ceramic and plain for the most part, aside from the brown owl on the front. He wonders if he’s going to give it back to you. 

“That was Maria’s sister, right? The one from last night?” she smirks at the shock on his face.

“How the hell’d you-” he starts before she cuts him off.

“Come on Joel. First of all, the front porch? Not exactly a private venue,” she starts, shoving more of the granola into her mouth. Joel groans in annoyance. “Second, my friend Dina told me she saw you guys at the Tipsy Bison. She said there was totally some chemistry,” she laughs.

“Friend? Who is she? Can I meet ‘er?” Joel perks up at her words, excited that she has a friend, but also trying to get out of the conversation they’re having.

“Yeah, she's really cool. I met her at movie night, she- wait, no you're not getting out of this!” She stands from the table to join him on the couch.

“There is no ‘this’. I’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me now,” Joel traces his fingers over the grooves in his mug. Your mug. Ellie rolls her eyes.

“What do you mean? Y’all were totally getting it on,” she laughs, as he shoves the side of her arm, trying to hide his smirk.

“Y’all? What’re you, a cowboy?” he huffs a laugh. 

“Learned from the best,” she gives him a cheeky grin. “I think… maybe you should talk to her. Adults are so dumb, like, half of the world's problems could be solved by just talking to each other,” she furrows her brows for a moment. “Well, except for the whole ‘infected’ thing. That’d probably take a bit more.” Joel can’t help but laugh at her train of thought. 

“Maybe I will,” Joel pats her knee and stands up, setting the mug in the sink. He’d probably give it to Maria to return to you. 

He didn’t plan on trying to talk to you again. He’d just screw it up, he thought. Images of you were scattered throughout his mind all morning, and he was kicking himself for his lack of social skills. Before he could kick himself anymore, he saw you. He’d had no idea you ran the stables. If he’d known, maybe he could have prepared himself. Maybe think of a few words to say. Instead, he was his usual, awkward self. 

The patrol goes how he’d expected it to. Tommy notices he’s quieter than usual, which is saying a lot. The route they took was empty except for a small group of runners that they took out with ease. Joel just wants to be in his bed, asleep. He doesn’t want to have to think. He’s afraid he won't be able to get back as soon as he’d hoped, Tommy leaving him alone at the stables to return the horses. Tommy had said something about ‘getting home to the old ball and chain’ that made Joel roll his eyes, but he relented nevertheless. 

His heart pinches in worry when he doesn’t immediately see you. He figures it's for the best- the horses are already in their stalls, and maybe he can just sneak out without checking in with you. He’s about to do just that when he hears raised voices coming from your small office. He quietly walks closer to the door, trying to listen in.

“I told you, I’m sorry!” he hears a male voice echo under the door, and it’s familiar. He wracks his brain to figure out who it was.

“Justin, I told you it’s fine! I don’t care! I’m sorry, but I’m not interested anyway,” he hears your voice now, smooth as silk. His heart skips a beat.

“You’re only saying that because you don’t know me, baby,” he feels disgust at the male voice now, recognizing it as the man from last night. He fights every urge inside of him to not burst inside that room right now. 

“Hey, get off me!” he hears you yell. His fight to suppress his urges is completely gone as he hears you in distress, slamming the door open to the sight of you pinned against your desk, this ‘Justin’ guy grabbing your wrist with a bruising pressure.

“The hells goin on here?” Joel asks, chest heaving.

“None of your business, old man. We were just… talking, right?” Justin smirks to you. Joel notices the fear in your eyes and his heart cracks a bit.

“Um… right, yeah. It’s fine, Joel,” you say, unconvincingly. You widen your eyes to urge him to leave. As if he ever would. 

“How bout we all go home, yeah?” Joel asks, taking a step closer. Justin takes this as a threat, releasing you to turn to face Joel.

“And what if we don’t want to, huh?” Justin crosses his arms. Joel looks down at him, grateful for the 2 or 3 inches he has on him.

“Oh, I think you want to,” Joel says sternly. Justin takes this as an opportunity to push his shoulders, slamming him into the wall behind him. Joel is taken off guard, but he can’t help but chuckle. “You didn’t want to do that, kid.”

“Seriously, man? All this for some bitch who doesn’t even put out?” Justin smirks as if he’d won the argument. Without skipping a beat, Joel's fist is in his face, knocking him to the ground. You yelp, jumping out of the way.

“Fuck, dude!” Justin yells from the ground grabbing his bleeding and possibly broken nose. Joel shakes his hand, stretching his fingers. His knuckles fucking hurt, but its hard to focus on that when he sees the way you’re looking at him.

“Get the fuck out,” you robotically say to Justin.

“But- h-he-” he tries to speak.

“I said get the fuck out!” you raise your voice, pulling him off of his feet and pushing him out the door. Joel watches him like a hawk as he leaves, ready to punch him a million more times if he needed to. The two of you stand in silence for a few moments  before you decide to speak up.

“How was patrol?” you ask, fidgeting with your hands. He huffs a laugh, taking you by surprise. “What?” you smile slightly.

“Nothing, it's just… after everything that just happened, you’re asking me about patrol?” he looks into your eyes, noticing the heat in them. He’s sure he has the same look in his own.

“Are you… okay?” you ask, ignoring his question. 

“You’re asking me if I’m okay?” he asks, incredulous. You nod, with an mmhmm. You bite your lip and Joel isn’t sure if it's the adrenaline or if he finally grew some balls, but he surges forward and in a single step, he has your face cradled in his hands. 

“I-is this… okay?” he whispers against your lips, feeling your hot breath on his own. You nod before reaching up to clutch his flannel in your hands, pulling his lips to your own. Joel unwittingly moans into the kiss. He fucking moans. He’s almost mortified. Almost. When you moan in response, he’s only urged on further, slowly walking you backwards until your ass is pressed against the desk. He taps the side of your hip, motioning for you to hop up. You separate for all of 3 seconds, settling  on the desk, when his lips are back on yours. 

You whine into his mouth, spurring him further. He fiddles with the bottom of your flannel, itching to rip it off but maintaining some restraint. Before he can think too deeply, you reach out to the bottom button of his own flannel. 

“S’this- this ok-kay?” you ask between breaths. 

“More’n okay, darling,” he smiles softly, leaning down to kiss your neck while you work on the buttons. You giggle at the sensation. “What?” Joel asks with a small smile.

“It’s hard to… focus… when… ahhh,” Joel reattaches his lips to your neck with a smile. He feels like a teenager again, kissing his crush in secret. It’s thrilling to him, really.

You’ve never been more turned on in your entire life. You thought that dream had made you insanely wet, but Jesus, this was something else. You do finally manage to get his shirt off, leaving him in a white t-shirt. He continues to fiddle with your shirt, causing you to pull back for a moment. He furrows his eyebrows, wondering if he did something wrong. You whip your shirt over your head, leaving you in only your plain black bra. You wish you’d worn something lacy and pretty, but considering there wasn't a Victoria’s Secret nearby, you weren’t that upset. 

It’s been a very long time for Joel. Though he was out of practice, he was pretty sure he remembered what to do. He certainly didn’t have a hard time showing how much he wanted you, his erection painfully strained against his pants. Women liked that, right? But, you weren’t just any woman. You were… something else. At the sight of you in just your bra and jeans, Joel knew he was done for. And your smile, that damned smile… it felt like worship in a world without faith. 

You wanted more, so you took it. Reaching to the hem of his white t-shirt, you lifted to pull his shirt off so that you’re skin to skin. The first thing you notice is how fucking warm he was. The next thing you noticed was his scar-riddled chest. You trace them softly with your fingers, the raised skin smooth against you. He looks down at you, his eyes softening as you observe his body. 

“You’re beautiful,” you whisper, looking up to meet his eyes. He laughs softly.

“You’re one to talk,” he says before taking your lips against his again. He feels spurred on by your words and actions- he now has no doubt now that you want this as badly as him. 

“Take my pants off, Joel,” you smirk, unbuttoning them yourself to give him a head start. He laughs before pulling them down the rest of the way leaving you in your underwear and bra. He reaches his hand forward, mouth slack as he presses his hand against your core, palming you over your underwear.

“Mmmmmfuck,” you moan, head bobbing onto his shoulder.

“This alright?” he asks, restraining a moan at the dampness of your underwear.

“Please, keep going,” you grind into the palm of his hand.

Without hesitation, he traces his hand up your mound, purposely putting pressure on your clit, before reaching the hem of your underwear and sliding his fingers under, finally feeling you. He moans at the wetness collected between your legs, amazed at how turned on you are from him. He collects that wetness and brings it up to your clit where he rubs in painfully slow circles. You buck your hips into his hand, and he chuckles- its low and gravelly, his own arousal preventing him from putting on a steel front. 

“Fuck, darlin’ you’re so wet,” he whispers into your ear. You can barely hear him, your own heartbeat thrumming in your ears. As you’re about to speak, he slowly slips a finger inside you. You let out a loud moan, biting your lip to stifle the noise.

“S’okay baby, make some noise for me,” his movements maintain their place as he drops to his knees. You stiffen.

“J-Joel, what’re you doing?” you pull at his hair so he looks up at you. It gives him goosebumps. 

“What’s it look like I'm doin’, sweetheart? Need’ta taste ya,” he licks his lips as he looks at your core, knowing he’d never see anything as beautiful as this again in his life. You freeze at his words.

“Oh, you don't have to…” you look away from him shyly. He stands at this, hand still moving between your legs.

“Oh, I want to. Please, baby, I want to,” he says to you, pleads almost. Guys had never asked to go down on you before, and you’d never pushed for it. It was nerve wracking- you considered telling Joel this. But the look on his face was enough- you can’t help but relent. 

“Mmhm, okay,” you nod and he smiles, sinking to his knees again. 

He doesn’t even notice the way his knees creak or how uncomfortable the hardwood floor is on them. He just needs to taste you. The moment his mouth is on you, he moans. The vibrations cause a jolt of lightning up your spine. 

“Fuck, s’good,” he says against your thigh before kissing it and diving back in. This time he lifts one of his hands to slip a finger inside, the sensation causing you to lift your legs to rest on his shoulders. You hoped you weren’t squeezing too hard, but the thought was fleeting as his free arm shot up to wrap around your thigh and pull you closer.

The familiar sensation of your core tightening and your vision blurring hit you like a truck. No man had ever made you come before, and certainly not within less than 10 minutes of seeing each other. The orgasm swells to a peak, your thighs clenching on either side of Joel’s head as he moans into you. The aftershocks hit almost as hard as the initial shock, and you don’t realize it's over until the overstimulation of Joel sets in. He was still going absolutely crazy, drinking you in like his life depended on it.

“Ah, fuck,” you hiss at the oversensitivity and he immediately pulls away to ask if you’re okay. “I’m fine,” you laugh. “I’m perfect, actually. Jesus Christ,” you laugh again as he stands, pulling you to the edge of the desk so your clothed core is pressed against his jeans, leaving a dark spot over his crotch. “I’ve never… done that,” you confess shyly.

“Done what?” he asks, cocking his head.

“Been eaten out. And also, I guess, have a man give me an orgasm,” you giggle, mind loose. His expression hardens.

“Wait… what?” he looks at you, concern in your eyes.

“I mean, no guy has ever wanted to before. It’s no big deal,” you shrug, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Baby, it is a big deal. Because how any man could deny that… there has to be something wrong with him. A big deal of something wrong with him,” Joel laughs with you, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Can you please fuck me, Joel?” you ask with a cock of your head and a pout on your lips. Joel almost trips in trying to take his pants off and you can't help but giggle.

“Oh, you won't be laughing soon, darlin’” he chuckles before pulling his cock out from his underwear. It’s huge, obviously, because why wouldn’t it be. It’s the biggest you’d ever seen, and you can't help but lift your hand up to grab it, stroking it to the tufts of hair at the base. “Won’t be lastin’ too long if you keep that up,” Joel grimaces with a hiss. You smirk as you grab him and lead him to your entrance, pressing the tip to you.

“Start slow, okay?” you ask, worry filling your gut. It had been awhile, and with a man as well endowed as Joel, you couldn’t help but have some worries. 

“I promise,” he chuckles before pushing it in, just the tip. The two of you gasp in harmony, your arms shooting to wrap around his shoulders. “Y’okay?” he asks, bringing his hand up to your cheek. 

“Y-yeah,” you stutter, “keep going, please.”

“Okay, baby, I gotcha,” he pushes himself further, and before you know it, you can feel his tufts of hair against you as he bottoms out. He’s breathing heavy and ragged as you lean up to capture him in a kiss. He tries his best not to move, to let you adjust, but his restraint is like a rubber band about to snap. Before it does, he feels you move closer to him, urging him to start moving. He doesn’t need to be told twice.

He begins slowly, moving his hips back and forth. You squeeze him perfectly, your wetness allowing him to move with ease. His hands moved to your hips, then your breasts, your face- he was all over you. It took everything in you to keep your eyes open, but the eye contact he was making was worth it. When he wasn’t kissing parts of you, he was watching you. Whether it was your eyes, your lips, or your breasts, he was watching you. He only closed his eyes when he blinked. You were used to guys digging their faces into your shoulder and finishing in 30 seconds. Everything about Joel was… so much more.

He flattens his palm on your stomach above your mound, feeling himself inside of you. Slowly, he moves his hand up your chest to squeeze your nipple. You unexpectedly gasp and arch your back, urging him to continue. His other hand snakes from your waist to your clit as he begins to rub in circles.

“Need’ya to finish with me, darlin’” he whispers in your ear.

“O-okay. M’close,” you manage to squeak out, his hands doing so much to you. 

“F-fuck,” Joel lets out a groan as he tries to maintain his pace to get you off. The second he feels you clenching around him, however, he speeds up. As he’s about to come, he quickly pulls out and spills onto your stomach, chest heaving as he leans over you. He wishes he’d had a camera to capture the view in front of him right now

You’re breathless and sweaty beneath him when you come to. His length lay on your stomach, twitching as he came down. The two of you remain this way for what feels like an eternity before he stands up fully, grabbing a box of tissues from your desk and proceeding to clean you up.

He reaches his hand out to you and you take it, hopping off of the desk. Grabbing the discarded clothes from the floor, he motions for you to lift your arms over your head so he can slide your flannel over you. Only it's not your flannel, but his. He doesn’t comment on this as he puts your flannel on himself, the usually oversized fit you’re used to fitting him perfectly

You reach up to fiddle with his hair, the curls messy atop his head. His lips part but he stays silent, watching you bite your lip in focus.

“There,” you smile. “Better.” 

Joel isn't sure what to do with his hands now, the soft ticking of a clock on your wall filling the noise. He feels heat creep up the back of his neck when he recounts what you’d just done. In public.

“Coffee?” you ask, playing with the hem of your new shirt.

“Hm?” he snaps his head to you, daze broken. 

“I said ‘coffee’? Like, the drink?” you giggle.

“What about coffee?” he asks. He knows you’re probably inviting him over, but he just wants to hear you talk. 

“Ugh, just come home with me, Miller,” you laugh and grab his hand, leading him out of the stables. 

He follows you to your house, your hands intertwined the whole walk. Neither of you acknowledge this as your conversation flows as easily as if you’d known each other for years. He stays at your house for hours, enjoying his coffee almost as much as he’s enjoying you. You both realize around the same time just how enamored you were with each other. Though neither of you are sure how to feel, Joel knows now that he can’t lose you. Ever.

[nereidprinc3ss]

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

[redditreceipts]

Trans male here, though I know my identity would not be taken seriously here, I find myself wanting to rather get she/her’d by radfems then deal with the horrific misogyny I receive in online trans spaces. Trans men are constantly referred to as “cunts” and “bitches” and we’re not allowed disagree with trans women on certain topics. Are there any accounts you know of that document and discuss the way trans men are treated in the trans community that don’t sugarcoat it?

Also question, are you guys gender abolitionists? as I feel I makes a lot of sense to be that along with being a radfem.

hey :) sorry for the late answer, i was quite a bit busy the last couple of weeks

and first of all, I am not really in favor of using the pronouns of a person that they feel dysphoric about as long as they are not horrible people, but yeah, idk.

Referrring to people as their body parts is such a disgusting way of talking. They talk about you that way, but have a meltdown and threaten to kill themselves if you tell them they're male 😭 wtf

and yes, I am a gender abolitionist. I think that gender is a superstructure built to justify sex-based oppression, I have made a post about it :)

Another thing that I sometimes think when reading accounts like yours: I always find it strange how you are not allowed to mention the biological sex of the person you are interacting with in queer spaces, but it is totally okay to treat that person as a stereotypical member of their biological sex. Like, isn't talking over a trans man or intimidating him or sexually harassing him a much more severe form of "misgendering" than using the word "she"? I mean, I am not a trans man so I don't know, but I'd imagine that I'd feel much more dysphoric after being sexually harassed by a male for being female than if someone called me "she/her"? So that's what has always confused me a bit about trans-affirming spaces.

And no, I don't know about any blogs about misogyny towards trans men. You can be the first though! Or you just send that stuff to me, I might post it a month later, but I'll make sure to post it! <3 Here is my star-and-cat themed image collection :)

[teecupangel]

Do we have a Phonenix yet in the menagire? We need one.

Phoenix!Desmond, probably looking like a normal bird for the most part, and stays with Sef when they go after the mongols (Altair probably thinks he's getting too old he looked a bit ratty lately) and takes the hit when Swami tries to kill him.

Idk whether to have this crack or angest with them thinking Desmond died, had a chick, and was apparently a female bird the entire time.

Okay, so I was checking the Phoenix wiki page for any information if it would be possible that Altaïr would know what a phoenix is and there’s this part written by Herodotus (yes, Kassandra’s Herodotos)

[The Egyptians] have also another sacred bird called the phoenix which I myself have never seen, except in pictures. Indeed it is a great rarity, even in Egypt, only coming there (according to the accounts of the people of Heliopolis) once in five hundred years, when the old phoenix dies. Its size and appearance, if it is like the pictures, are as follow: The plumage is partly red, partly golden, while the general make and size are almost exactly that of the eagle. They tell a story of what this bird does, which does not seem to me to be credible: that he comes all the way from Arabia, and brings the parent bird, all plastered over with myrrh, to the temple of the Sun, and there buries the body.

… which may be a reference to Bennu, the Egyptian deity connected to the sun, creation, and rebirth.

So Altaïr would meet him during his travels with Maria and he just stays. They assume he’s an exotic bird (or eagle), maybe a native to one of the places Altaïr and Maria visited.

Altaïr never told them that the bird flew into his room one night and began to chirp at him as if trying to tell him something. He also tried to tap the Apple but all it did was glow a bit.

The bird had been quite annoyed by it and began to hit it with his talons so quickly the Apple had a taptaptaptaptap sound rapidly before Altaïr could take the Apple.

After that, the bird just decided to sit on Altaïr’s shoulder when he left his room the following morning and Maria assumed he had bought the bird yesterday when they went their separate ways.

Her guess sounded so much better than the truth which was Altaïr spent the entire day yesterday holed up in his room, writing letters to be sent back to Masyaf as part of his deal with Malik in exchange for letting him go on this trip (which was to send letters detailing the geopolitical situations of the places he travels to with suggestion on what the Brotherhood should do in those parts… if they could do anything).

So nobody ever questioned the mentor’s newly acquired bird (except Malik but Malik had been more focused on the ex-Templar that Altaïr brought to Masyaf and married).

Then Darim and Sef were born and the bird (named Desmond because Altaïr thought of the name first when Maria asked what the bird’s name was) usually stayed with the children, letting out loud screeching cries whenever one of the two children were doing something they shouldn’t do.

When they got older, Darim and Sef learned the word ‘bribe’ and how Desmond can be easily bribed to look the other way in favor of delicious food.

Desmond stayed in Masyaf though, regardless if Altaïr or any of his sons left for a mission or to travel to a bureau. At some point, the bird had become a symbol of Brotherhood with its gold and red plumage.

So when Altaïr left with Maria and Darim to take down Genghis Khan, it was only natural for Desmond to stay with Sef in Masyaf.

Altaïr had been a bit conflicted though as Desmond’s feathers had grown quite… dull and he was moving slower than usual.

Maria and Malik both told them that Desmond was growing old and maybe it was time but the Ibn-La'Ahad boys refused to believe that.

Darim also believed that they might find medicine in one of the camps of the Mongols as they have been to many lands.

So when Desmond flew to protect Sef and got stabbed on the chest by Swami, Swami screamed as Desmond became shrouded in flames.

Swami burned as well and Sef could only watch in horror as white hot flames consumed the both of them.

Swami was left as a corpse charred beyond recognition.

While Desmond…

Only ashes remained…

And from those ashes…

Sef heard a small chirp.

As a little chick with red and gold plumage poked his head out of the ashes, shaking the ash from his small body.

Sef could only stare as he asked, “Desmond?”

And the bird gave him an enthusiastic chirp while jumping.

[candeathbereal]

Astrology Observations (aspect edition)

-Moon negative aspecting Venus is painful for feelings towards people. Like deadass the constant question they ask themselves is “Do I like this person like a friend or do I actually wanna kiss them?” -Moon square Chiron is a painful existence bruh. I have this aspect a very close aspect too so...There is a tendency to ignore my own needs in favor of others but I am slowly learning to be better with taking care of my self. I think certain things about the aspect can be different depending on the signs and possible house placements. Idk how to elaborate on that so let’s move on and talk about it another day. - Sun conjunct Mars people tend to be emotionally closed off in my opinion. I think the traits of the sign the Mars is in can affect how emotionally closed off at least from what I have seen so far. Like I know someone who had a Scorpio sun and Scorpio mars and damn bruh. I would find myself feeling their feelings with such an intensity. Sometimes I wonder if there is a certain aspect between our charts that would explain this as well but idk. Anyways there was always this sense that I could feel something deep in my body that something was up, but when I asked anyone else they apparently didn’t come to the same conclusion as I did about this person’s emotions. -Oh random thing about this person I was talking about in the previous point there was this time when I was around them and I felt something was off. At the time I couldn’t really understand why but it was very much about them. I kept that in the back of my mind thinking that I was reading too much into things. Then they talked to me later on in the day about their intense back pain and bruh...my body kicked into overdrive lowkey. I felt this urge to yell at them about not taking care of themselves more and wanting to help them a fuck ton with anything. Like oh you’re trying to pick something off the ground, no the fuck you are not! It’s an odd thing but I think it has something to do with their moon in my sixth house as well, but ehh

I hope you enjoyed this post of my random ramblings. Would love to know what you guy’s thoughts are.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Why do you insist on infantilizating the characters who were victims of Tommy, who have clearly forgiven and embraced him? Do you think you know better than them? You act as though every Tommy fan is a damn nazi while ignoring the actual POV of the characters of color affected by his actions.

Btw there are absolutely context clues given in the early eps that Tommy could be queer.

Stop acting like you speak for anyone but yourself. There have been a lot of posts by black, queer men, that are pro-Tevan that you seem happy to ignore. If you think Tommy is a racist, unforgivable character, fine. But you can't stop acting like you somehow staked a claim to some moral high ground here when the reality is you wouldn't care at all if he didn't threaten your ship.

oh look guys i pissed them off again by calling them out on their bullshit :) it’s been a while i was wondering when you’d show your (anonymous bc you know people would call you on your shit if you weren’t) faces here

i have never called you people “nazi’s” and think it’s vile that you view being called out on the constant defense of this blatantly racist character as an equivalent to being called a nazi

it’s disgusting behavior to say “oh you think im a nazi if you disagree with me” when you’re being called out and i cannot believe you had the absolute gall to say something like that on my blog

you are not a victim. this is the victim mentality i was talking about.

you say im only threatening by him bc he “threatens my ship” meanwhile the show has not treated him as a serious LI, and has actually taken more time to ignore him/parallel him to buck’s previous failed LI’s than setting him up as a serious contender for edngame w buck. you’re the ones (rightfully) threatened by eddie because he actually had plot armor and has a character that’s not a bunch of stolen headcanons that you’ve all placed on him

you guys love to call it infantilizing poc characters when we, yknow, fairly call out negative behavior but then you get so upset when people make valid criticisms of his character because you know his personality and character have no actual stability within the plot because he has not been developed beyond being racist and being gay

it’s funny that you ignore hen’s standoffish at best attitude towards him simply because you know that if hen was blatantly against him, you would have no leg to stand on because they’re never going to treat him as more important than hen

idk how what “context clues” you’re talking about in early eps regarding tommy being gay, but even if there were, that doesn’t excuse his actions. there has been no narrative development past his early episodes portrayal aside from them slapping a rainbow on him so they had someone to get buck out of the closet

i can direct you to countless people who agree with me on this, so i am not speaking for myself unlike most tommy cultists bc you all just woul rather take lukewarm queer rep when it’s a white racist man than the potentially groundbreaking queer story that can be told

sorry but that doesn’t give me positive vibes

you people love to bash main poc characters for their flaws and storylines when they actually take the time to tell these stories and provide context, yet when tommy is racist and misogynistic to hen and chimney, you all suddenly find it fine to forgive him the moment he kissed buck

i don’t claim to be on some “moral high ground” but you people have no room to claim that either when your fandom are out here spreading nothing but anonymous hate to people who call you out on your bullshit, while you also harrass the cast and crew for not giving your favorite racist a spotlight.

i fear you don’t have any stake to claim on whether or not someone is or isn’t “morally superior”

do me a favor and block me so i don’t have to lose braincells trying to process the bullshit that comes put of your brain while trying to defend a racist man

[p0rk-guts]

waitt but what's different about your ocified velvette... i like her a little but find myself wanting more substance from her in canon tbh

TEEHEE WHAT A GOOD QUESTION I TOTALLY DIDN'T SET PPL UP TO ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay sew me and @ajistorpid were talking and they inspired a good chunk of my ideas so you can blame them for feeding my sick delusions.

Read more just like last time bc I talk too much sorry but there's art in there too oooo you should look u should read my ramblings

As far as I know, Velvette has no canon age at death, cause of death, or death date so based on what we know we just crafted our own headcanons. AJ proposed she might've had parents who ran one of those family vlog channels with her as the face of it, becoming a child influencer under her parents' control. I was thinking she could've been a child model- yk like. dance moms or something. Idk I don't remember what was happening on that show— anyways. Yea

Either way she grew up constantly controled and perfection was her standard. All of her outside thoughts and feelings and interests and opinions were constantly dismissed in favor of what made her more marketable. She never did get that popular in life tho, and her mentors always shamed and blamed her for it.

Idk if this is canon or not, but the idea of the sinners designs reflecting their vices or things they regreted or hated in life is an untapped gold mine to me so that could explain where Velvette's supposed doll and clown themes come from. Became a toy dressed up and paraded around for the entertainment of others + joke never taken seriously. She'd hate that

(As for how that ties into my redesign…. me and AJ were thinking she could be a vampire doll, but I'm not sure IDK I wanna sketch that out and see what it's giving)

In hell she easilly fell back into this warped facsimile of her old life bc it was all she knew. "she feels some form of pseudo control and enjoyment because she has no one pulling her strings now" (<-AJ) SHE'S running things!!! Who's the puppet now!!!!!!

Then THAT had me thinking too because now that I think about it. Why Is she the backbone of the V's?? She's like. An undergrad student in my mind at the MOST and Vox and Val are two men pushing 40 I'm sure. I think a big part of it is the fact that those two are almost complete and utter buffoons who let their emotions cloud their actions constantly, Valentino most obviously but even tho Vox seems more composed like when he's talking Val down from his outburst and when he was talking to the press, we can still see he's a total mess—especially where Alastor is concerned. He lost it so bad during their duet HE SHORTED PENTAGRAM CITY'S POWER.

Now out of all the V's we've seen the least of Velvette (I'd call it what it is but yall gon get real mad at me), The most we really got out of her character was the overlord meeting (and despite her huge ego and unruly behavior she did end up speaking facts), so maybe she Is just as unstable as them in canon but canon is SHIT and this isn't about canon anymore. In my mind she's very much in charge of the back end of their work. Vox is obviously the head of the operation—or at least he seems like it to me—what with the tech company having his name and with him answering the interviews, but I think that's all he is. The figure head. Velvette is the brain behind it all. When Vox proposes new buisness endeavors off the cuff she's the one who goes back and makes sure they're getting handled properly because he doesn't really dig into the backend of how things happen. Vox goes to most of the conferences or whatever (Vel's too busy running her shows and serving cunt after all) but Vel follows up on what was learned.

(also yeah all that makes this very much an au of an au bc it'd take a lot of radical changes for the two of them to be friends I think. It's fun to imagine anyway)

Quoting AJ here bc I'm bad at paraphrasing and they said it well:

"And if we're going to make her sympathetic, (obviously not excusing her enabling a rapist) Val and Vox are grown ass men and she never got to experience the world outside a camera

Velvette is easily malleable with no real relationships!! Some victims tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to their abusers the only exception is that she feels like she has control this time"

THIS this. THIS! Okay uhh vague personal experience w/ abuse cw ig. skip this paragraph if you don't wanna hear it. But It kinda reminds me of my relationship with my parents- NOT THAT I SEE THEM AS TWO DADS AND A DAUGHTER I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THAT NOTION IN A POST PILOT WORLD If future content proves me wrong it proves me wrong but at this moment they're all equals in my mind (…and I hc them as poly BUT WE'LL GET THERE) but In my situation it's like. I hate my parents for the abuse they've caused me, my mom more than my dad bc she's satan incarnate, but there are still things I like about my dad and. Tolerate. About my mother. We still can talk cordialy and spend time together, have fun together even, and I show affection to them, but deep down I know I wanna cut my mom off later and maybe my dad too depending. Additionally my mom is completely Incompatent and pulls none of her weight so despite it all I've been forced to pick up the slack and become half the brains of this family. I do chores she should take care of. Handle money. Make important decisions about our health and safety she doesn't care about.

AAAny ways. This is so my version of Velvette. No I'm not projecting (I am). She pulls a big chunk of the weight around there (some of it being carried by Vox and virtually none by Val). She's very close with the two of them but isn't a fan of everything they do (Cares more for Vox than Val in my mind). Speaking of, she definitely isn't some saint now, she still makes the love potions and is Impassive to both Val and Vox's behavior, but part of that Is her just seeing it as part of the business. Shady practices and exploitation are par for the course in any business to her. She never truly grew out of the harmful mindsets ingrained into her by whoever her enabling caretakers were in life and they're still apparent in hell. (Maybe she even experienced some of the darker sides of exploitation in life but was groomed into thinking it was okay contributing to why she doesn't see Valentino's actions as heinous. Idk. thinking on it)

Circling back to my poly V's idea. Idk it just seems plausible to me. Vox and Val already have their whole thing going on, they all live together, and they all have nicknames for each other (Vox calling her my dear, Val calling her baby doll, Vel calling Vox darling). Ik that could just be their personalities and the pet names don't have to mean anything more but this is MY au and my word is gospel hope this helps. It just makes sense

I could go on and ON about the toxic insanity of the Poly V's in my mind— particularly between Vox and Valentino— but this is NOT their post so maybe next time. As for Velvette, I get the vibe that she'd be intimate with both of them and enjoy it but she's never the one to initiate anything. Sometimes they're all like this 🤞🏾 and others the boys are a complete turn off to her (main example being the difference in her attitude towards Vox in episode 3 vs episode 8). Her tolerance of them flips on a dime depending on how they're acting. She also prefers to be a casually entertained observer to VoxVal more often then not (ex. end of episode 8 imo)

Boys aside. My Velvette is still a social media influencer and she's all about advertising. advertising products (like the love potion), clothing looks, technology... Heck even herself. "You're nobody if you don't wear this or use this or look like this ^ - ^". Projecting on her even further by making her have a love/hate relationship with her profession aka the modeling aspect of it: she's always had a genuine love for fashion and dressing up but the internal pressure for perfection she's placed on herself makes it hard for her. She's very hard on her models and designers bc of this

Couldn't think of a segway for this but also WHAT HAPPENED TO VELVETTE WANTING TO FIGHT THE ANGELS??? The "full assault plan" against the angels??? And then when the fight actually came they were all just lounging around watching it go down like it was afternoon tv????? This isn't even a "we'll get to it in season 2" thing did they honest to god forget? Did that line not mean anything??

Well I didn't forget and it's pissed me off since my first rewatch of that meeting scene. Don't think we don't know how the V's got the angel head, but In my head Velvette was the one who initially proposed the idea for an assault against heaven and her insatiable need to feel respected and feared only spurred this plan on, incredible risk be damned.

It also felt weird to me that Velvette just. Let it go when Carmilla said the meeting was over. Just. "Oh ok! Plan cancelled no more attacking heaven ^ - ^ I'm gonna go scroll for the rest of the show!" Hu h. My au-ified Velvette would definitely fight her on it— if she thought killing angels would change the game and Carmilla held the secrets behind it she would pry! Blow up at her about it until she wasn't getting results and bitterly storming off with as much composure as she could muster. Not wanting to team up with Carmilla but find some way to use her for all she was worth and get her way in the end, use the power and resources the V's had to actually make a plan. Would it have worked without the Morningstars? Eh. Either way I'm sure she could delude herself into thinking they were the most powerful people in hell. Ugh I don't wanna make an au rewrite of the show and I that was never my plan so idk where that'd go but. Yea

ANYWAYS anyways. wow you made it to the end somehow! Here's your treat :3

Context u didn't ask for: Some days Velvette overwhelms herself with her own impossible expectations. Nothing she creates or puts out is good enough. She gets extra anxious about her following; nothing's happened to them, but what if they see the miniscule flaw in her latest clothing that she sees? What if she's no longer perfect? (Even worse in the vamp Velvette redesign of her bc she literally feeds off their attention and admiration)

She'll snap at everyone and disapprove of every look and then hole herself away somewhere where she crashes and is just. So. Tired. But she'll be out of it the next day, ready to keep the conveyor rolling.

[writerlyhabits]

Backwards

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: On Saturday morning, you start to remember all the details of the night before. Sharing yours and Bucky’s relationship with your friends, having entirely too much to drink, and being taken care of by your super-soldier. But now that you were sober, it's time to repay the favor… 

Ch 16 of the Neighbors Series | Masterlist | Ch. 15 | Ch. 17

Warnings: language, pet names, SMUT [oral - m receiving], a half-baked ending, idk I think that's about it

AN: Hello, I’m back from the dead, and I have nothing to show for myself but a midnight release of some half-beta’d smut 😂 But I TOLD you guys I’d come back!! Y’know, just… two jobs and a deployed boyfriend later 😬 I’m really excited to have this chapter out, I know it’s been a long time coming, but I’m hoping to get back into some kind of groove. I’ve been daydreaming about putting a printed version of Neighbors on my bookshelf, but that requires me to actually finish writing it, lol. And we’re finally tip-toeing the line of seeing events of the show in the fic, so that’ll be exciting 👀 I missed you guys, I’m glad to be back, and I hope you enjoy 💖

EDIT 12-28-23: I did change the ending a little bit, but not my much... I just updated some of the dialogue. It was really throwing off my groove trying to start the next chapter 😂

The soft rays of the morning light filtered in through your blinds, and you woke up gently to the golden light blanketed across your bedroom. There were no alarms to snooze, no obligations to be met, just a beautifully lazy Saturday morning for you to share with the man sleeping beside you. 

It was moments like these that had made these slow mornings one of your favorite things. Rarely did you get to see Bucky’s face relaxed in blissful sleep, normally one to wake up before you and help start your day. But the weekends brought a pleasant lack of worries and expectations for his super-soldier brain to focus on. You loved getting to admire his sharp features in the golden light, mentally charting every detail of his gentle expression before sleep escaped him and his hyper-active mind brought back that crease between his brows. 

And as much as you enjoyed seeing Bucky in such an easy state of being, watching him escape the demons that tormented his waking existence, it never failed to make you smile when you felt him begin to stir in the mornings. 

Before his face would give anything away, you would feel his mismatched hands roam your body, or reach out to find you if they weren’t already. This morning they were wrapped around your waist, and your cheeks began to burn with the force of your smile as you felt Bucky’s right hand slide down the small of your back until he reached your ass, giving it a playful squeeze. And only when you gave a soft laugh in amusement did his expression crack, the corners of his lips tilting up in a smile before he cracked his eyes open to look at you. 

“Good morning,” you cooed, your voice soft as you basked in the adoring attention of his blue-eyed gaze. 

“G’mornin doll,” he slurred, using his vibranium arm to cage you in and press you against the planes of his half-naked body. 

“How’d you sleep?” You offered, hoping that it was a favorable answer. The shrug of his shoulders told you otherwise. 

“Had that dream again, where I’m… him. But I’m fine,” he said with a shrug, which you knew by now meant that he’d had a nightmare that was affecting him more than he could shake, but the last thing he wanted to do was talk about it. At least for now. “How did you sleep, baby?” 

“Pretty good. I think all those drinks I had last night might’ve helped because I didn’t move,” you lamented, and you felt Bucky’s body shake with his quiet laughter. 

“Oh, those drinks certainly did a number on you,” he grinned, clearly replaying the memories of the night before across his eyelids, and finding amusement in the whole situation all over again. When he looked back to find your brow raised in question, he offered another question. “How much do you remember from last night?” 

You scoffed, but couldn’t erase the smile from your cheeks, even in your irritated facade. “How much do I-I remember the night just fine, thank you!” You defended incredulously, going over the details in your own mind before you spat them out in the wrong order and gave him any more ammunition. 

At Charlie and Jay’s dinner party, the two of you kicked off the evening by announcing — prompted by your friends’ schemes — that the two of you were dating. You were official, going steady, cuffed… the list of phrases and jabs went on forever, and most of them were used as the dinner party continued with no lack of questions and pleas for details. 

Some of the conversations, and the number of drinks you had, are all mixed together, the journey home being much the same. At least until you got into the building. You could vaguely remember falling back into Bucky’s arms on the stairs, and without any connecting context, having your shoes in your hand while you were carried bridal style up to your apartment. 

But you did remember the rest of the night. You could remember almost every detail of getting Bucky back into your apartment, and damn near climbing him like a tree. Your intoxication had made you turn feral in an embarrassingly short amount of time, desperate for more of the intimate moments you’d shared before you left for the dinner party. 

“Ask me again when you’re sober,” his voice rang through your head, his words from the night before causing a spark to light inside you. You’d wanted him bad last night, and he had wanted you just as much. 

“Oh, you remember? Is that why I can see the gears turning in your head?” Bucky’s deep voice said from beneath you, the vibration of his baritone bringing you back from your daydreams, back to the reality where your very handsome super-soldier was half-naked beneath you and still had his hand resting on your ass. 

“Mhmm… I remember something about picking up where we left off,” you lilted. You shifted so that you could straddle his hips and get a better look at him, the movement bringing your hips over the already impressive size of him through your thin layers of pajamas and panties. 

You did your best to keep yourself from making any depraved sounds. An involuntary roll of your hips caused Bucky’s eyes to close as he took a sharp inhale, and you felt a shiver surge through you watching how easily you could make him crumble.  

“I believe I was told to ask you again when I was sober…” you whispered, watching his blue eyes focus back on you and darken as he tried to hide his grin. “What do you say, Sarge?” 

With another slight roll of your hips, he adjusted his grip on your ass to squeeze it again, stilling your movement as he twitched beneath you. You tried to keep your whimper at bay, but it did you no good when his vibranium hand found the back of your neck to pull you back down to him, leaning up ever so slightly to crush his lips against yours, eliciting a desperate sound from somewhere you had no control over. 

Bucky kissed you senseless, and you lost yourself in the sensual way his lips molded to yours while his tongue licked at your lips, teasing entrance without giving you the satisfaction. Between his gruff moans and the way your bodies continued to move together, it didn’t take long for a familiar puddle of arousal to appear between your legs, no doubt helped by the growing weight beneath his sweatpants.  

His hands began to roam across your body, caressing anywhere he could reach, and causing a shiver to run up your spine and break the kiss. Bucky smiled up at you through half-lidded eyes, laughing under his breath as your expression started to mirror his. 

“You alright, sweets?” he asked you softly, his hands rubbing a soothing pattern on your back. You nodded enthusiastically, your head swimming with too many inappropriate thoughts to be able to form words, and taking your opportunity to latch onto the stubble-covered skin just beneath his jaw. He hummed in appreciation, and you took your cue to continue traveling downwards, trailing kisses behind his ear and down the column of his neck.  

Bucky’s pleasure-laced laughter rumbled through his chest as you continued your barrage down his collarbones, shifting your hips lower as your trailed kisses down his ridiculously large pecs, and making your way all the way across his washboard abs before he reached a hand down to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. The sweet movement gave you a good pause to stop your affections and look up at him, unable to stop the sly grin that appeared on your face as you settled yourself between his legs, your arms braced against his hips. 

He let out a shaky breath as he smiled at you. “S’this okay?” you asked sweetly, running your hands across his stomach as you waited for his answer. He released another amused breath. 

“I- It’s more than okay,” he grinned, combing his vibranium fingers through your hair, clearly contemplating his words. “But you don’t have to. I don’t want you to think-” 

“I want to, Buck,” you assured soothingly, cutting him off before he had a chance to get in his head. “I want to make you feel good. You took such good care of me last night, now it’s my turn.” 

“That’s part of my job,” he pleaded, not trying to dissuade you, but too stubborn to let this point slide. “I’ll always take care of you, and I don’t ever expect something in return.” 

“Okay, sure. But that’s my job too, y’know,” you argued, satisfied when you could see the gears in his head struggling to find a counter-point. “Let me take care of you, baby… Let me taste you,” you finished with a whisper, enjoying the way his eyelids fluttered at the thought. 

Bucky took a breath as if he was steadying himself, watching you adoringly as he licked his lips. “Show me what you want, sweets.” 

You had to bite your lip to contain your smile, almost immediately jumping to action. You grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling both the pants and his boxers down over his hips, your mouth nearly watering when his cock sprung free. 

You were half convinced you would be just as starstruck by it no matter how many times you saw his dick, admiring his bulging tip hiding beneath the foreskin. You risked another glance up at Bucky, having to contain the excited giggles bubbling inside you before you wrapped your hand around him, giving a few slow pumps to unsheath the angry red tip already starting to leak precum. 

At this point, there was nothing in your head other than what you needed to do to get him in your mouth as soon as possible. You darted your tongue out to lick up his length, making a point to swirl your tongue a little more at that special spot just beneath his tip. His sharp inhale spurred you on, wrapping your lips around his head as you continued to swirl your tongue, and your eyes almost rolled back when his thighs involuntary squeezed around you. 

“Ohhhh shit… I forgot how good this feels,” he laughed breathlessly. You were immediately distracted by this new information, and unashamedly bolstered by the fact that you’d barely had him in your mouth before he was singing your praises. 

“How long has it been? Since you had someone to take care of you like this?” 

“Decades,” he answered firmly, and it sent another shiver through you. It was almost embarrassing how much it turned you on that you would be the first one to give him a blowjob in so long. 

“Mmm, then I guess we’ll just have to make up for it,” you winked, but before Bucky could question your motives you dove right back in, sliding your lips down enough of his length to comfortably fit. He muttered another curse under his breath and you heard his head hit the pillow, rocked with pleasure. 

Now that you’d had a chance to let him get over the initial shock, you set a steady pace. Sucking up his length, and wrapping your tongue around his tip before repeating the process, taking more and more of him each time you bobbed your head. 

“You feel too damn good, babygirl,” he hissed, and you could hear his restless hands shifting around the sheets beneath the two of you as you continued to worship his length. When Bucky’s gentle fingers began to comb through your hair, your eyes rolled back a little as he pushed some of the pieces out of your way. 

With your clear signs of enthusiasm, he took his cue to continue, both of his mismatched hands collecting all of your hair before his right hand grabbed a fistful, holding just enough tension to make you squirm. You couldn’t hold back your own moans of pleasure from the feeling of his hand gripping your hair, sending the vibrations down his cock with your lips wrapped around him, sucking up and down his length as he let out a throaty groan. 

“S’that feel good, sweets? D’you like when I hold you like that?” Bucky asked, fighting his way through the words. You could only hum in agreement from around him, never slowing your ministrations, and taking far too much pleasure in the way it made him break. As you hummed around him, his cock twitched in your mouth, and you glanced up to watch through your eyelids as his head hit the pillow. 

With nothing else to lose – and everything to gain – you took one last long drag up the length of him, hollowing your cheeks before going down just that much further to take him to the very back of your throat. Your eyes rolled back in your head as he let out a slew of curses. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum if you keep that up…” he muttered. When you nodded, moaning in a sort of plea, he could only respond with incoherent sounds of his own pleasure. 

Taking neither of you by surprise, it only took a few more bobs of your head before his grip on your hair tightened, and you kept a comfortable length of him inside your mouth as he hurtled to his climax. You basked in the sounds of desperate pleasure Bucky made as he as he shot warm ropes of cum down your throat. 

After he’d finished, and you could feel his length start twitching on your tongue, you made your final attempts to collect his spend. With one last gentle suck, you released his sensitive cock, shooting a sweet smile back up at him – an action that earned you a tired laugh as he turned away from you. 

“Fuck, sweets you can’t jus… Take it easy on me, will ya? You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbled, and you could hear the soft grin he was wearing. You giggled as you gingerly made your way back up his body, snuggling back into his side. 

You could tell Bucky’s super-soldier stamina was already starting to catch back up to him, looking much less tired as he turned his head to look up at you, donning a bright smile when you brought a hand up to play with the scruff on his cheek. 

“Did’ya have a good time, Sarge?” you asked him softly, feeling another wave of amusement rumble through his body in response. 

“I haven’t felt that good in… I don’t even remember how long,” he answered happily, his voice deep and relaxed. It nearly sent a shiver down your spine on its own. 

“Glad to be of service,” you shot back flirtatiously, earning you a sly grin. You hummed a laugh, Bucky following suit as he continued to look at you with those baby-blue eyes. And when your laughter faded, his expression didn’ falter. The hint of adoration quickly overpowered anything else, and you felt your cheeks start to heat up as he gazed up at you as if you’d given him the world. You noticed a small quiver of his brows, but before you could ask him what was going on inside his head, he opened his mouth. 

“We’ve done this a little backward, haven’t we?” He asked earnestly, accentuating his words with the smallest scrunch of his nose as if it were obvious what he was talking about. 

“How do you mean?” As you watched him contemplate his answer, you couldn’t help yourself from teasing him a little. “If you’re insinuating I should’ve cum first, we can always just do it again.” The deep belly laugh that rumbled through the man beneath you made your heart skip a beat. God, you loved that sound. 

“No no, I mean… I mean with us. I never took you out for a proper date, did I?” Bucky’s voice was soft and sincere, which only made his question more confusing. 

“Uh, of course you have. What do you think we do every Saturday?” 

“That’s different. I just thought it’d be fun to take you dancing, but I never asked you out on a first date the proper way.” And there was the daily reminder of just how old Bucky was, talking about the “proper” steps to dating. The fact that it was almost immediately after getting sucked off was just comical. 

“Okay… what about Valentine’s Day? You asked me out then, we had a fun night!” You bargained, taking care to remember the very romantic picnic that had been the cause of your first kiss. 

“I was told specifically that that didn’t count,” he teased, and you only rolled your eyes at him. Damn him and his perfect, super-soldier memory… Before you could get another jab in, he cut you off, his voice soft and sincere again. “Let me take you out tonight, sweets. We’ll make it different, something special.” He was persistent this morning… He was clearly up to something, but what that was you had no idea.

“Yeah? And how’re you gonna make it different from all the other Saturday nights at the diner?” 

“Damn, that’s tonight, isn’t it? That’s…” Bucky trailed off, and you watched the gears slowly turning in his head. Suddenly his eyes went wide. “Saturday. It’s Saturday, what time is it?” 

Shit. 

You nearly launched yourself off of him to reach for your phone on the nightstand. Turning back to him, his expression told you he already knew the answer. “Buck, you’ve got to go.” 

If he hadn’t recovered from your intimate escapades of the morning, he definitely had now. Both you and Bucky shot up from the bed in an attempt to get him out the door to make it to his appointment with Dr. Raynor on time. He was already stepping into his dark jeans by the time you’d gotten to the dresser, pulling out the first of his t-shirts you could see and throwing it in his direction.  

Bucky caught the black shirt effortlessly and started to put it on as he turned back to you. “Alright, well… diner night or not, I still want to make tonight special,” he pleaded, and you stopped for a moment to watch his muscles flex as he slipped the shirt over his head. 

“Yeah, okay great. Right now I’m worried about you missing court-mandated therapy. This conversation will be much less romantic when there’s an officer at my door looking for you, and we don’t exactly have a good excuse.” Bucky laughed under his breath at your comment, silencing himself quickly when he saw your raised eyebrow as you went to hand him his leather jacket. 

“I’ll be fine. Raynor can wait for five damn minutes,” he half grumbled, clearly not pleased with the new direction his morning was going in. 

“James,” you pleaded. This time he nodded. 

As Bucky finished getting himself ready, you managed to get some toast started for him; it wasn’t anywhere close to being enough breakfast for a super-soldier, but it would be ready fast, he’d be able to eat it on his way, and it would hopefully avoid him dealing with Raynor on an empty stomach again... Something was better than nothing. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” You offered again as Bucky opened the front door, slices of toast in hand. “I can make you a little more food, and we’ll-” 

“I’m gonna make it on time, peach,” he reassured you gently. You opened your mouth to continue making your case, but he spoke before you could get a word out. “I can out-run your sedan. I’ll be fine.” 

That was new information… you felt your brows crease in surprise, resisting the urge to continue asking about this new ability of his he had yet to share, trying not to invade his already dwindling timeline. But if he could run that fast… Bucky laughed softly as he watched you process his comment, gently holding your shoulders to kiss the creases you were making between your brows. 

“We can talk more when I get home,” he reasoned, slipping a hand around your waist to pull you just that much closer. “I’ll have more of a plan for tonight by then.” 

“That plan better involve the diner; we promised River we wouldn’t miss another week. WE;ll never hear the end of it if we don’t go,” you reminded pointedly. 

“So you really do remember last night…” He teased, and you smacked his chest in jest, earning a deep laugh from the super-soldier. 

“We’ll be at the diner, don’t you worry. Maybe you could wear that blue dress I know you’ve been saving for something special. I’ll find something to surprise you with tonight, make it memorable.” 

“You do that just by being you,” you sighed. Bucky donned an almost giddy smile at your words, and the vibranium hand around your waist tugged you just a little bit closer, and he leaned down to press his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. He made your head spin like he always did, making you forget your surroundings so effortlessly. 

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against yours for a moment, clearly contemplating doing it again. Miraculously, you found a moment of clarity amongst your brain fog. “Alright, you’ve got to go, Buck.”

“I’ll pick you up at six?” He shot playfully, removing his hand from your waist as he stepped out into the hall, watching as you leaned against the doorframe. 

“I’ll be here,” you smiled, unable to hide the smile from your face as he winked at you, just before turning around to make his way down the stairs.

Thanks for reading!! If you’d like to be notified when I post a new fic, be sure to follow @writerlyhabits-library + turn on post notifications! 💛

Masterlist | Ch. 15 | Ch. 17

[licorice-tea]

I’m A Ghost Of You, You’re A Ghost Of Me Pt. 3

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x reader

Content: slow burn relationship, fluff, some platonic Usopp and reader, mentions of weapons, strawhat!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: sigh i kind of struggled with this part, idk why but i just didn’t feel super proud of the writing? butttt i really enjoyed the ending bit, so hopefully you do too! there might be some edits made later, and i think there will be around 2 more parts after this? anyway, lmk what you think! <3

Part 2 • Part 4

Nami proposes a plan to split up in pairs and look for the swordsman, so as to cover more ground faster without the risk of running into trouble alone. You admire her ability to think ahead and prepare for any possibility- it’s something you, as a child of nobility with a more comfortable upbringing, never really developed.

Everyone sort of pairs off, and you decide to follow Usopp. You enjoy his humor and get to know him as the two of you search for Zoro. This leases you to learn that he’s an inventor, something of a demolitions expert, and he left his home to become a brave warrior of the sea, all of which you find admirable.

After a while of wandering around the island, you and Usopp come to a steep incline. It’s a natural hill, but you notice that if you were to walk around the base to the other side, you’d find a set of stairs. He wants to go around and use said stairs, but you’re sure you’d be able to make it to the top faster by simply hiking up. So with the promise of meeting at the top, you get to hiking the steep hill, and he runs off to climb the stairs instead. As someone who has gotten used to scaling walls as a method of escaping in order to run off in the past… this is an easy feat to you.

And sure enough, you reach the top of the hill in less than 3 minutes or so. It’s a lovely sight to take in; covered in grass and a few patches of flowers and other flora, as well as-

“It’s you!” You’re so excited to see the man before you that you call out to him before you’ve even crossed the expanse of the hill to meet him.

He turns to look at you, “It’s… Damn, you look different.”

“Do I?” You look down at the clothes you’re wearing, not quite so “let me try to blend in with the civilians of this island in hopes I’m not caught by marines and brought back home” anymore. Instead, your outfit fits your personality and taste- it’s much less dull, so you can see what he means. Also, you’ve changed your hairstyle a little. In short, everything about you just seems more fitting, rather than having the feel of someone who isn’t yet sure of themselves like you had a year ago. You spin as if to further show off these changes and agree with a smile, “Hm, I guess so.”

There it is again- your smile. Zoro has held on to the memory of you as best as he could, not that you were ever easy to forget, but images in his mind are nothing compared to the real thing.

When he doesn’t respond, seemingly lost in thought, you go on; “I’m happy to see you again-“

“You are?” Then he coughs awkwardly, realizing he sounds all too eager for his disciplined and focused persona.

You laugh- “Yeah, I never got the chance to repay you.”

“Repay me?” Zoro scoffs, “For what?”

A soft smile graces your features; “For letting me go.”

He shakes his head and looks down for a moment, as if thinking. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“Hah!” As if you’d let such a life changing action go. No; you had good enough manners to know favors should be returned. “Well, at least let me introduce myself properly this time,” you extend a hand to shake his, “I’m y/n.”

Zoro smirks and shakes your hand- his grip is tight, but not uncomfortable. “Roronoa Zoro.”

Usopp finally catches up with the two of you, and all three of you begin heading back toward the docks to meet the others. After a while, the swordsman speaks up.

“So, how much convincing did it take for Luffy to get you to join?”

“Not much. I’ve kind of just been doing my own thing for a year now so… I’m excited to be a part of something.”

“You should’ve seen them Zoro!” Usopp move in between you two and slings an arm around both of your shoulders. “We found them in a bar, and then a marine challenged them to a duel and we were all like GASP!” You giggle at his exaggerated storytelling, and he continues; “Then Luffy was like ‘I bet you could beat him!’ so they were just like ‘sure, why not!’ And we all went outside and it was like a Western showdown- The marine drew his gun and the mighty archer, y/n, drew their bow…”

By the time Usopp is finished explaining how you came to be a part of the crew, the dock is in sight along with the rest of the Straw Hats. “And at last, they knocked back their arrow and- BAM! The arrow bent his gun out of shape! Can you believe it Zoro?”

He shrugs, “Well is that what happened?”

When you realize the question is directed at you, you smile sheepishly. “Uh… Sure! pretty much, at least.”

Once the three of you reach the dock, all seven board the ship. Luffy is overjoyed to have his crew assembled to take on the Grand Line, so Sanji cooks a huge meal for all of you to enjoy. Eventually all the plates are cleaned and cleared, and the clouds in the sky are overtaken by night stars.

“I can take watch for the night.” You offer to your new crewmates, but Nami says that Zoro probably is already. So, you decide to join him when she shows you to the crow’s nest. Before entering, you knock on the wooden trapdoor, then open it up.

Zoro sees the top of your head and offers a hand to help pull you up into the crow’s nest, which you thank him for.

“No problem.”

For a while you simply watch the sea, which is very calm tonight. It leads you to thinking of another night where the sea was calm and the stars bright. The same night you met Zoro when he came to deliver you back to your parents- but even then you’d been too confident (in both his kindness and your own skills) to feel scared. You just get good vibes from him- like he makes you feel safe. So you look over at him, but find that he’s already looking at you. He smiles and you return the smile, albeit a little softer and overwhelmingly endeared-looking. Finally, you break the silence

“So… from a pirate hunter to a pirate- how did that happen?”

Zoro shrugs, “Luffy’s a good captain. I wouldn’t just join any crew, ya know.”

“Hm, same here.”

“Now, nobility to a pirate is a much bigger change, if you ask me.”

“Ah,” you give him a sarcastically sweet smile, “I didn’t.”

This causes Zoro to bark out a laugh. It’s the first time you’ve seen him laugh, you realize, and you’re hooked. He looks so much less imposing like this; full of joy instead of his usual, very focused demeanor. You find yourself giggling as well.

“Tell me, y/n, did you really put a dent in a gun with some flimsy arrow?”

“Like I said, I’m pretty good.”

“I’d like to see for myself.”

“I’m sure you will, eventually.” He huffs through his nose, and you continue, “I haven’t seen you using any of your three swords, either.”

“You will. Eventually.”

You accept Zoro’s statement with a nod. “I don’t think I ever thanked you, properly-“

“You don’t owe me, y/n.”

“I know, you keep saying that, but- you changed my life!” He whips his head around to look at you again, and you continue, “I mean it; I wouldn’t be a part of this crew… hell, I wouldn’t be anywhere but back in my room if it weren’t for you.”

Zoro maintains eye contact for a moment, then gives you an offer you can’t refuse. “Alright, you can buy me a drink at the next island we stop on.”

This makes your cheeks feel warm, though you try not to let the shock be too evident in your features. He must pick up on it through your silence anyway. “What? You wanna repay me, right?”

You nod, “Mhm.”

“So, it’s a date. Go get some rest, I’ve got this covered.”

That night, you try not to giggle and kick your feet too loudly for the sake of your crewmates who are fast asleep. It’s hard though, when your already massive crush is being egged on- and by the crush in question!

Now you just have to make it into the Grand Line and stay alive long enough to go on that date.

[thepaperquillco]

If I were to write a fix it fic for ACOSF, this is how it would go:

* First, in ACOFAS, Cassian doesn’t through the book he bought Nesta into the Sedra. (He’s 500 yrs old, let’s allow him some maturity). He keeps it, tucks it away somewhere, until she’s ready to accept it (and then he can give it to her sometime during Silver Flame)

* Nesta can barely bring herself to see her sisters, but she manages to drag herself to important gathering: holidays and birthdays. She’s only half there, but she’s there

* She lives in her shitty apartment, and she gambles and drinks and fucks

* When the bills come to Feyre, she doesn’t cry about it, but she does consider cutting her off. (Feyre is every bit as spiteful as Nesta, let’s stop pretending she isn’t)

* Cassian reminds everyone he slaughtered an entire village following his trauma, so Nesta doesn’t get cut off

* He’s frustrated and angry that Nesta shut him out, but Cassian realizes that she’s going through hell, and her scant appearances are the best she can do right now

* Amren probably still stops trying to teach Nesta magic

* Cassian’s pissed off about Nesta’s behavior, but he keeps trying (KEEP REACHING OUT YOUR HAND). He stops by her apartment probably once or twice a month to entice Nesta out. He offers to take her to the library, I don’t know a park? He just offers, and Nesta curtly refuses each time

* Maybe sometimes he drops off a book by her door, something he knows she enjoyed from her old life. And he retrieves them a week later, untouched

* Everyone at the bars Nesta frequents are terrified of her (they’ve heard stories of the High Lady’s sister who beheaded the King of Hybern), but one night someone gets a little too drunk, a little two handsy, and then violent

* Someone saves Nesta. Maybe it’s another patron of the bar, maybe it’s Cassian himself, idk

* Either way, Cassian is aware of the incident, and he checks on Nesta the following morning

* “I can take care of myself” “Clearly not”

* “If you insist on taking care of yourself, let me teach you the skills to do so”. They make a bargain, Nesta will train with Cassian at the house of wind a couple of times a week, and Cassian owes Nesta a favor

* Azriel is there too, he and Nesta get to become friends like they do in the book

* Cassian takes Nesta to wind haven for some reason, where she meets Emerie and invites her to train with her

* Nesta starts spending time in the library, she meets Gwyn, and invites her to start training as well (and all the priestesses)

* Nesta gets stronger, and she likes the sense of control it gives her, so she asks to train more frequently. Plus she gets to see her friends more

* At home, I’m hee favorite bar, Nesta realizes this isn’t the life she wants. So the next time she sees Gwyn and Emerie, she tells them she needs help

* Gwyn suggests she work in the library with the priestesses, and live wherever they live (idk I assume they have dormitories in the library)

* She writes to Feyre and Elain, and Feyre insists she take her old room in the House. It stings her pride, but she does tell them she’s going sober

* Elain and Feyre visit Nesta ALL THE TIME.

* Her romance with Cassian is a slow burn as she heals and learns to love herself, through the love of her friends and her sisters

* Feyre can still be pregnant, but either Madja performs a c section, or the wings are a non issue (seriously this plot felt like it was there just to give Nesta a redemption arc by saving her sister, an arc she didn’t need)

* Oh, and Feyre definitely has paintings of both her sisters in the river house, that was a stupid detail

* I think the Briallyn plot was weak, so I would take it out. As usually, SJM has too much going on for a cohesive or coherent plot

* Nesta finds healing through her found family and her born family. She forges her badass weapons, she finds the dread trove (dead trove? I don’t remember).

* And Devlon does deposit the Valkyrie’s in the blood rite. It’s good revenge on Cassian, he gets to prove females are in fact inferior to males, and he gets to murder the “witch” without actually mustering her

* And of course our girls make it to the top, and Nesta stays behind to defend them. She reaches the stone after them, after she fights by hand and figures out some of her power (I think there’s something about magic not being able to be used during the blood rite? But I figure Nesta’s power breaks through that restriction after some dramatic fighting)

* Basically what I want is for Nesta to be given time and resources to heal, and then she finds her way back to Cassian.