#i forgot how life affecting it can be for me when i have an episode

[lostt4nk]

being ( possibly ) schizophrenic and a horror fan sucks so fucking bad dude

analog horrors are one of my major interests and i recently watched the boiled one phenomenon and for the first time in awhile i was actually Disturbed by something and everything was fine until it got to be really late at night... i usually go to bed between 10-11 and i was up until 12-1 two nights in a row because i so scared to turn off my lights or go into my bathroom to shower because i was convinced that ugly red bitch was gonna GET ME!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't been so paralyzed by fear in such a long time and i wonder why it even happened in the first place... but it definitely confirmed that i need counseling or medication or something.

[formula-nyoom]

Stars Racing Past-5

Summary: It has been 5 years since (Y/N) and Max's first mission together and the two have grown as Master and Padawan. Now back on Coruscant, an attempt on Senator Piquet's life has the two grappling with both feelings of the past and feelings of the present.

A/N: I forgot how much of a creep Anakin is in Attack of The Clones and I've been trying to write Max as not that. These next 4 chapters are based off of Episode 2 but are going to focus more on Max, (Y/N), and Kelly(Sorry Seb). Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Assassination Attempt, Loss of Limb

Series Masterlist

~5 Years Later~

There was a slight hum as the elevator rose through the Jedi Temple. (Y/N) looked out the window as she watched the Coruscant cityscape grow smaller and smaller as the elevator got higher and higher. She missed the sight of the Coruscant skyline. (Y/N) smiled as the ever familiar feeling of The Force hovered around her. The feeling of home. 

(Y/N) had learned much over the past five years and strengthened her connection with The Force. The lightsaber that hung from her hip was evident of the progress she had made. But despite all the training and lessons that Max had taught her in those five years, a long, singular braid hung off her shoulder. Max had been teaching well, but between the missions and the advice of The Council, (Y/N) still had a lot to learn.  

Max was glad to be back at The Temple. (Y/N) and Max had found themselves outside the temple more often than they would have liked, with the two getting sent on more and more missions to help combat the newest threat to the galaxy, following the peacekeeping duties of being a Jedi.

The Separatists had become a growing threat throughout the galaxy. With more and more systems wanting to leave The Republic, more conflict and unrest has spread throughout the galaxy, in turn spreading the Jedi thin.  

But right now, as the Jedi Knight and his padawan stood in the elevator, both were happy at the chance of returning home after being away on so many missions.

“You seem more excited to be back than I am?” (Y/N) said. 

“What makes you think that?” Max asked

“Maybe it’s the fact that you’ll be able to see Senator Piquet again.” Max didn’t respond but (Y/N) could see blush creeping up on Max’s face. Change hadn't just affected the galaxy’s politics. Senator Kelly Piquet had recently divorced her husband a couple months ago. The news of the divorce was spread like wildfire across Coruscant, even reaching the Jedi Temple. Some outlets tried to paint it as a very messy separation between the two adults, especially since Senator Piquet had given birth to a daughter in the years that Max and (Y/N) were gone, and the divorce left Senator Piquet to raise her one year old daughter alone. Max had tried to keep his expression neutral when he heard about the divorce. But part of him was happy when hearing the news. 

“How’s my hair? Does it look ok?” Max checked his reflection in the elevator’s window, trying to adjust his hair. (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

 “Your hair looks fine. You should be more concerned about how much you’re sweating.” (Y/N) said. “I haven’t seen you sweat this much since our mission near Bespin.”

“Forgive me for being nervous but I feel I am allowed to be. I haven’t seen Senator Piquet in five years.”

 “Are you worried that she’ll still treat you like a teenage boy with a school yard crush?” (Y/N) asked. Max shrugged. 

 “C’mon, you’re both adults now, you can see each other as equals. There’s nothing to worry about.” (Y/N) said. And she was right. Part of Max expected his crush on Senator Piquet to go away in the span of five years since he had last seen her. But Max would be lying if he said he didn’t hold some excitement at the prospect of seeing her every time he came back to Coruscant. 

The elevator dinged before its doors opened, revealing the main floor of the Jedi temple. Jedis passing by greeted Max and (Y/N) as they exited the elevator and the two’s moods seemed to grow and grow as they walked through the place they called home.

 “(Y/N)! You’re back!” The girl looked over to see Oscar and Logan running over to her. (Y/N)’s smile widened as she ran and met the two boys halfway, wrapping them in a hug.

 “Oh it feels like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you two!” She said, pulling away to get a good look at her two friends. Both of them still had their padawan braids, as did (Y/N), but it was evident how much both Logan and Oscar had grown over the past couple years, with Logan towering just an inch over Oscar and Oscar’s hair had gotten a bit curly. 

“I was just telling Logan about this mission me and Master Norris were on. I kicked some major Separatists butt on Agmar.” Oscar said.

 “Oh (Y/N)! That reminds me, you still owe me a rematch from our last sparring session.” Logan said.

 “I’m all down to beat you again, Sargent. Hopefully you’ll get more of an upper hand from the last time we fought. I expect a challenge out of you.” (Y/N) told him. Oscar snickered and Logan couldn’t help but join in on his two friends' laughter.

Onwards Max watched with a smile as his padawan jovially chatted with her two friends. Though his attention was quickly drawn as a hand was placed on his shoulder.

“I’m glad to see the two of you made it back safely.” Seb said as he patted Max’s shoulder. 

 “It’s good to be back home.” Max told him. “Though when I got your message, it sounded kind of urgent. Is everything ok?” 

“It’s hard to tell for certain.” Seb said. “(Y/N)! Can I have a word with you?”

(Y/N) turned and at the sight of Seb her smile grew even bigger. Waving goodbye to Oscar and Logan with a promise to spar latter, (Y/N) walked over to Max and the Jedi Master.

 “It’s good to see you again Master Vettel.”

“And I’m glad to see you, young padawan. As much as I know the two of you would like some time to relax and unwind, unfortunately there isn’t time for that.” Seb said. “I’m just waiting for the arrival of–oh here she is now.”

 Blush returned to Max’s face as he saw Senator Piquet approach the three with two guards in tow. The years had been kind to the senator, as Max thought that she looked more beautiful since the last time he had seen her. To him, it was like looking at an angel.

“It's great to see you again, Senator.” Max said, bowing his head towards Senator Piquet. Senator Piquet smiled. 

 “Max? My goodness, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.” Senator Piquet told him. A slight blush rose on Senator Piquet’s face. 

“Hi Senator Piquet!” (Y/N) said, offering her hand for the senator to shake.

 “Oh, (Y/N)! Look at you! You’ve gotten taller and almost resemble a Jedi Knight.”

 “Well, Max has been putting me through my paces but he’s been teaching me a great deal.”  (Y/N) said. Max smiled.

“What are you doing here at the temple?” Max asked Senator Piquet.

 “There was an attempt on Senator Piquet’s life.” Seb said. Max’s smile dropped.

“What?!!” Both Max and (Y/N) had said at the same time.

 “Who would try something like that?” Mas asked, anger present on his face. Senator Piquet sighed.

 “I suspect it was Count Marko.” Senator Piquet said.

“The leader of The Separatists…” Max said.

 “Why would he go after you?” (Y/N) asked.

“I assume it may have to do with the Senate’s notion to try and approve the creation of an army to help you Jedi fight The Separatists. A notion that I am opposed to.” Senator Piquet said.

“If you’re opposed to it, why would Count Marko try to kill you?” Max asked. “A question I had and that’s why I suspect it is not The Count behind this. Nevertheless, the attempt on Senator Piquet’s life made Chancellor Horner suggest that she be placed under the protection of The Jedi. The Council has chosen you two to be her protectors as all three of you are familiar with one another and you’ve protected the Senator before.” Seb said. Max looked at Seb confused.

 “But shouldn’t we be investigating who is trying to kill Senator Piquet? She has guards that can protect her. Surely our duty as a Jedi–”

“Your duty as a Jedi is to abide by what The Council has ordered you to do, Max. We’ve had this talk before.” Seb cut Max off, a serious look on his face. Senator Piquet turned to Max.

 “While I do want to find out who is trying to kill me, I’m sure your and (Y/N)’s presence is enough to try and lure out who exactly is behind this.” She said. (Y/N) turned to Seb.

 “I can assure you Seb that Max and I will follow our duties and protect Senator Piquet.” (Y/N) said, patting the lightsaber at her side.

 “I don’t doubt that. But I want to trust that you won’t let your feelings distract you from what The Council has asked you to do.” Seb said, side-eyeing Max. Max glanced at Senator Piquet before making eye contact with Seb.

 “Master Vettel, I promise you that me and (Y/N) will focus our duties on protecting Senator Piquet.”

 “I don’t doubt it. Now go collect your things.” Seb said, dismissing the two. (Y/N) and Max gave a nod to Seb and Senator Piquet before leaving to go get their belongings.

 “I don’t know if she was happy to see me.” Max said as they walked away. (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“You obviously didn’t see the smile on her face when she saw you.” She said. A small smile formed on Max’s face.

~~~

Max stared out the glass window as he listened to the silence that filled the living room of Senator Piquet’s apartment. The Council had decided that in terms of protecting Senator Piquet, Max and (Y/N) were to accompany her everywhere. And with an upcoming Senate vote, Senator Piquet would be staying at her apartment on Coruscant, with Max and (Y/N) supposed to be standing guard outside her door. 

A ding rang out and Max turned to see (Y/N) stepping out of the apartment’s elevator.

“Seb’s downstairs talking with the other guards. There’s plenty down stairs to where I don’t think an assassin would try anything through there.” (Y/N) said. “How’s up here?”

 “All quiet. Nothing so far.” Max said. “I don’t like this. Standing around. Waiting for something to happen to her.”

“We were given orders by The Council to protect Senator Piquet. This is what protecting her looks like.” (Y/N) said. “Seb told me that our presence alone should be enough to hopefully deter any attempt on Senator Piquet’s life.” 

“But don’t you agree that it’s more important to catch whoever is trying to kill her…” Max said. (Y/N) looked at Max, and then took in the fact that he wasn’t standing directly by the bedroom door. Something clicked.

 “You’re using her as bait?” (Y/N) asked.

“It was her idea.” Max said. (Y/N) looked at the closed door of Senator Piquet’s bedroom.

 “There are many different ways to try and kill a Senator.” (Y/N) quietly said. “If our job is to protect her, I don't think she's safe being behind closed doors.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be able to sense if anything disturbs her while she’s behind that door.” Max said. “Trust me.”

(Y/N) held her tongue at the multiple comments she could make and continued to stare at the door. She closed her eyes and tried to sense any form of disturbance with The Force, but she couldn’t sense anything, not even a potential tossing in bed from Senator Piquet. She sighed and rubbed her eyes.

 “You look tired.” Max said, looking at his padawan, who turned to look at him. “Is it the dream again?”

(Y/N) looked down at the floor and nodded her head.

 “I don’t know why I keep dreaming about what happened to me before Tatoonie,”(Y/N) said. “I thought I had been able to block it out of my mind completely. But every time I close my eyes to go to sleep…I see his face.”

 “Dreams eventually pass. I’m sure now that we’re back on Coruscant, your mind will focus on more positive things and that slave trader will leave your mind.” Max told her. (Y/N) gave Max a smirk.

 “I’m sure your mind has plenty of positive things to think about while we’re here.” She teased. Max sighed.

 “Now is not the time to discuss this. We’re here on a mission. It would be inappropriate to talk about my feelings regarding The Senator-”

Max felt a disturbance in The Force and his head immediately snapped to Senator Piquet’s bedroom door. (Y/N)’s did as well.

 “I felt it too.” She said. Without hesitating, both of them ran towards Senator Piquet’s bedroom. Opening the door, they saw two centipede-like insects crawling towards the Senator’s head. Max immediately ignited his lightsaber. Blue light filled the room as Max ran forward and sliced the insects in two. Senator Piquet woke up with a start and saw Max standing over her.

 “What’s going on?” She asked. But Max’s attention had been drawn to the bedroom window. (Y/N) followed his eyeline and saw a spherical droid hovering on the other side of the glass. Without thinking, Max ran and dove towards the window, glass shattering on impact as he grabbed on to the retreating droid that was speeding off into the cityscape. (Y/N) mentally cursed Max and his impulsiveness.

 “Are you hurt at all Senator Piquet?” She asked, going over and checking Senator Piquet for any injuries.

 “No.” Senator Piquet said.

“Good. Stay here.”(Y/N) told her before running out of the room and right into Seb, who was running in with guards.

“What happened?” 

 “Something tried to attack the senator! Max jumped out the window to chase after it.” (Y/N) quickly told him before running towards the elevator.

“He–what?” Seb ran after (Y/N) and joined her just as the elevator door was closing. The elevator took her and Seb up to the roof, where various speeders were parked. (Y/N) jumped into the driver's seat of one of them.

 “I don’t suppose you have the keys to that speeder?” Seb asked. (Y/N) ignored him, opening a panel and igniting her lightsaber. She used it to carefully cut some wires and the speeder roared to life. Seb looked at the girl with a bit of shock as he climbed into the passenger seat.

 “I hope Max didn’t teach you that.” He said.

“You learn a lot when you grow up on Tatoonie.”(Y/N) said before backing out of the spot the speeder was parked and then speeding out into the cityscape sky to try and find Max. 

In the sky, Max held onto the droid with a steel grip as it flew past various speeders and ships in the opposite direction of traffic. Max couldn’t help but look down and clutched the droid tighter as he was met with a view he definitely didn’t want to end up plummeting down towards. He quickly looked up and tried to get a grip of his rapidly changing surroundings as the droid continued to zoom past various skyscrapers. Max could tell that it was heading in a certain direction and his eyes landed on a skyscraper. On the balcony of said skyscraper stood a partially masked woman. The woman spotted the droid, and then Max hanging from it. The woman quickly ran over to the ship next to her and pulled out a sniper rifle, aiming at the drone. The assassin fired at the droid,  causing it to explode and Max started to plummet downwards. 

(Y/N) and Seb were rapidly scanning the skyline, looking for any sign of Max as (Y/N) drove. (Y/N) eyes quickly landed on something falling through the sky and quickly realized that it was Max. She slammed her foot hard on the pedal and sped towards him while also bringing the steering downwards, sending the speeder into a nosedive. Thankfully, the speeder was much faster than Max’s falling speed and (Y/N) managed to position the speeder underneath for Max to be able to catch it and land in the backseat. 

 “What took you so long?” He asked, trying to catch his breath.

 “Oh, you know me, I couldn’t find a speeder I liked. Was thinking of grabbing the SF21, but then I saw this RB18 and knew I had to take this one.” (Y/N) said.

 “If you spent more time practicing your saber skills than you do your wit, your skills would rival Master Alonsos.” Seb said while clutching the side of the speeder tightly.

 “There he is.” Max pointed to a ship that was currently speeding away. (Y/N) pressed her foot to the pedal and tried to follow the ship Max had pointed out. It weaved in and out of oncoming traffic before nose diving towards the ground city below. (Y/N) followed its every move and quickly sent her own cruiser into a nose dive to follow. Max and Seb held onto their seats very tightly as they felt like their stomachs were dropping out from under them. Wind whipped past their faces making it almost hard to see but (Y/N) kept her eyes on the ship as it quickly swerved towards and then underneath an incoming freighter ship. (Y/N) pulled the speeder up just in time before it could make contact with the freighter and speed back into the air.

 “Please don’t do that again!” Seb exclaimed as (Y/N) continued driving flat out.

“Sorry Seb. I forgot you don’t like flying.” She said.

 “I don’t mind flying. What you’re doing is suicide.” Seb told her before turning to Max “I’d hope that you hadn’t taught her to fly like you do.”

 “What did you expect? I am her teacher after all.” Max said before lurching forward as (Y/N) increased the speed, having again found the ship that they were chasing.

(Y/N) was quickly gaining on the ship as the distance between the two grew smaller and smaller. She saw that they were approaching a docking station on one of the lower levels of Coruscant and had an idea.

 “Hold on.” She told Max and Seb before ramming the front of her cruiser into the back of the ship. The ship jerked and began to spin before crashing into the docking station. (Y/N) was quick to land the speeder but the assassin was already out of the ship before Seb or Max could jump out. Nonetheless the two quickly took off to pursue the assassin as they started to run with (Y/N) not far behind them. 

The four were weaving and dodging various people as they ran past. The assassin would take tight corners, trying to throw the jedis off their trail before eventually running into one of the various clubs around. (Y/N) was about to run in, but Max grabbed her arm to stop her.

“Wait! This is a club. You need to wait outside.” He said. Frustration rose on (Y/N)’s face

“Seriously? We don't have time for this! And I'm a Jedi here on Jedi business. I should be allowed in.”

“No, Max is right. Stay out here and stop anyone that seems to rush out.” Seb said. “The assassin went in there to hide, not run. Max and I will chase them out.”

(Y/N) let out a huff in frustration but didn’t follow Max and Seb inside. 

“We really need to have a talk about your recklessness when we get back to the temple.” Seb said as he and Max walked into the club. “It’s rubbed off on (Y/N) and I can’t help but feel you two are going to be the death of me.”

The two scanned their eyes across the club, looking for any potential shady figures. 

 “Do you see them?” Seb asked.

“No. From what I was able to see of the assassin, we’re looking for a masked woman. ” Max told him. Seb nodded.

 “Alright. Go and find them.” Seb said before making his way towards the bar.

“Where are you going?” Max asked.

 “To get a drink.” Seb said with a pointed look before continuing to the bar.

Max slowly started to walk the perimeter of the club, trying to spot the assassin they had been chasing. Various patrons of the club gave Max curious glances as he walked passed, his hand hovering over his lightsaber, ready to catch the assassin off guard once he came across her. But so far, Max couldn’t see the masked woman anywhere in the crowded club.

Seb casually sipped his drink while his eyes swept over the club scene in front of him

Behind You!

Seb quickly turned around and swung his now ignited lightsaber. The woman in front of him let out a scream as both her gun and the arm holding it fell to the floor.

Everyone’s attention in the club was now on Seb. Seb kicked the gun away and put away his lightsaber as Max walked over.

 “Jedi business. Go back to your drinks.” Max said to the patrons before helping Seb bring the assassin to her feet and escort her out of the club.

(Y/N) had paced in front of the club entrance, keeping an eye on anyone that left. Though she didn’t know exactly who she was looking for since Max got a better glimpse of the assassin. And even though (Y/N) knew they were in the club, she couldn’t help but feel like she herself was being watched. 

But Seb and Max walked out of the club, holding a woman with just one arm, and that feeling went away. She followed Seb and Max as they brought the woman around to the side of the club, away from any onlookers and pedestrians. They sat her up against a wall.

“Do you know who you were trying to kill?” Seb asked the woman.

 “Some Senator from Naboo.” The assassin grunted, pain clearly evident on her face.

“Why were you trying to kill her?” (Y/N) asked.

 “It was just a job.”

“Who hired you? Tell us.” Max demanded. Seb glanced at Max and saw anger very present on his face.

 “Tell us now!” Max demanded again. The assassin let out a grunt

“It was a bounty hunter called–” A dart suddenly struck the assassin in the next. All three Jedi turned in the direction of where the dart came from and saw a figure standing on a roof before taking off using a jetpack.

Seb turned back to the assassin as she started to gag. Her eyes bulged as she struggled to breathe before she choked out a final breath and her eyes closed. She was dead. (Y/N) looked at the now deceased assassin with worry as Seb carefully plucked the dart out and examined it.

 “Toxic dart.” He said. 

“The assassin wasn’t the real one trying to kill Senator Piquet.” (Y/N) said.

 “Whoever is trying to kill Senator Piquet, is going to great lengths to make sure we don’t find out.” Max said.

~~

Taglist: @fangirl-dot-com @chasing-liberosis @miarabanana @vicurious28 @mayo-0-o @nikfigueiredo @annabellelee @iloveyou3000morgan

[penwrythe]

Mephone and Infantilisation

Thinking about Mephone in the II 16 reveal and how some fans interpret him as either a child or adult based on how Cobs treated him, how Mephone is treated by the "world" (the court and jail - I forgot which episode), and how Mephone portrays himself to his contestants and to us the audience.

I see Mephone as a young adult trying to be independent, had left the nest and moved on from his abusive father (basically going no-contact), created a living for himself - has a job (being a host), a "family" (the contestants) and a "home" (his game show), and enjoying what he couldn't have in his childhood (being seen as a person of worth, an adult who is independent and has a life he made on his own).

Cobs only sees his son just a child doing childish things, a child who will never grow up no matter how "independent" he makes himself seem. Even when we grow up, to our parents we will always be their children (my parents still call me Buggie like 90 times a day, a nickname I had since I was 8). But the way Cobs refer to Mephone as a child doing childish things don't seem out of parental love. I feel it is more about eroding Mephone's independence. Undermining his son's achievements, failures, and growths as a child and an adult. Furthermore, endangering the contestants, Mephone's family.

Saying all this reminds me of TheraminTree's video on Infantilisation, how abusive parents would often undermine their children (both during their childhood and sometimes well into their adulthood) their independence, boundaries, skills, and safety. This can severely affect a person's trust in their own self-esteem and confidence of their own independence.

If you look up Theramin's video, just know that Theramin describes real world emotional, religious, and mental abuse between parents and their adult children in the video. I would not recommend watching if the video may be triggering.

I am interested on what Inanimate Insanity will do in the last episodes of the series on this theme. How will Mephone confront his father and how will the contestants move on once the show is over (will they be free to live their lives? Like, will they be always tied to Mephone?).

[min-9things]

4 MINUTES EP 2 THOUGHTS

Will contain spoilers

Honestly I forgot that ep 1 ended with Great and Tyme meeting for the first time cuz of the first scene of Tonkla (?) smashing a rock into someone.

I will now go into the specific scenes that I really liked.

Great lying down but the camera shows him seemingly looking forward towards the projection of what he saw in the future and what he changed. I liked this shot since it makes it look like even while Great is trying to rest, he is still fixated on the future that he saw in the past. Projectors are usually used by projecting an image up to a further distance, similar to how Great looks forward "into the future". We also see the 11:00 numbers again in the 12hour clock timing instead of 24h even though this is nighttime. The 11:00 being blasted up onto the wall in such huge bloody font also gives off a rather ominous vibe, as if whatever bad thing that is gonna happen is coming closer and closer. Later in the episode, we see the 11:00 moving to 11:01, reinforcing this idea, together with the music in the background once the clock beeps.

I read that that is Bible's cat but this scene made me laugh a little like why is the cat just. staring. Anyway moving on.

The music of this episode fits the scenes and emotions perfectly. This part where Great is panicking, paired with the fast rhythm, which then abruptly stops and is replaced by Tyme's slower punching but heavy rhythm.

Great and Tyme's interaction scenes mostly have light percussion, short notes played. It did give me some level of relief from the more heavy first ep and earlier in this ep (like what the actual shit is wrong with that Title person kidnapping a girl). Also Tyme is kinda whipped and I love it.

my face when dude stepped in between Great's legs like I don't think you have to be that close right?

Side-note: so who died if Title was still alive to go and try to punch Great like. I thought Tonkla was Title's brother and then Title showed up but whoever is Tonkla's brother is truly dead. Linking back to the opening scene, it does not look like Tonkla enjoyed killing that person, since he smokes in order to feel less in pain. But Tonkla was really upset when he found out his brother died and it seemed like that the moment he found out his brother was dead.

But I have a possible theory that maybe Tonkla's brother has went missing and Tonkla was chasing leads to find him, thus killing someone that he knew had sth to do with his brother's disappearance, but only then did the police find the body and Tonkla found out he was dead? Pls don't take me too seriously I am rambling.

In this scene the camera tilts with every second, like the seconds hand on a clock. Possibly to signify the passing of time, but also maybe that Great will be stuck in the past (like his thinking of past/future events). Idk what this is trying to show.

Some questions/theories about Great's power:

no lift involved in today's seeing of the future, he saw a future of 00:00 to 00:04

what if he can see further than 4min when it involves Tyme? as shown from the short scene in ep 1 when Great first sees Tyme

I foresee Korn's mafia shit affecting his personal life (firstly Tonkla) and it may affect Great soon but theories.

Thanks for reading yay

[miukki960]

Okay, so I just finished Love for Love's Sake and..... I have so many thoughts. I could wax poetic for hours about how much I loved the show, but right now what I really want to talk about is my theory on the ending and the whole concept of the "game."

Please bare with me as I don't make posts like this (or any at all for that matter) often. Please forgive me if it's incoherent, my thoughts tend to run faster than my fingers can type lol.

Here we go!

First, who is the author sunbae? I think he's the embodiment of death. When Myungha wished on the shooting star for 1. Someone to care for him and love him and 2. To disappear,he was wearing what I'm pretty sure is the same outfit as when we first see him in the bar back in episode 1. This leads me to believe Death heard his wish, so when Myungha decides to end his life and regrets his decision in the last moment, Death decides to give him a chance to change his fate.

So he creates the "game" based on a novel he supposedly wrote. I believe this is a false memory he gives to Myungha so he will willingly play the game and try to change his fate. Which leads me to my second point...

Myungha is the author. The show did a very good job at keeping this subtle at the beginning. We as an audience are led to believe he is simply transported into the videogmae world and is at the mercy of the dating sim, but they show us multiple times that that's not the case.

Once, when Myungha mentions that the missions are written in his handwriting, a second time when we get a flashback of him actually writing these missions in a notebook at the bar, and a final time when we see him pen the shows Ultimate Mission using the Author's Pen, "Please make Cha Yeowoon Happy."

I started to get the idea that Myungha was the author back in the first few episodes when we started to see the side missions. Every mission he got screamed to me "this mission is actually for you, not Yeowoon." What was the first thing he did when he was supposed to get Yeowoon more friends? He befriended Kyunghoon himself. Save 3,000,000 won? For himself. Get Yeowoon followers? Using HIS Instagram. Which leads to point number three....

The game Myungha is sent to is actually a reenactment of his senior year of high school. All the characters he meets are actual people in his earlier life, his grandma, Kyunghoon, Sangwon. But in his original "playthrough" he didn't bother to befriend or interact with them, so they went about their lives unaffected, and he forgot they existed. I say all this with the exception of Cha Yeowoon.

Cha Yeowoon is a mirrored reflection of Myungha created by Death and inserted into the game. Myungha said himself at the beginning that Yeowoon was his favorite character because he reminds him of himself. Later on, we learn that their backgrounds are almost identical too. Yeowoon lost his mother, has an absent runaway father, and was raised by his grandmother. Myungha has a dead father, absent runaway mother, and is being raised by his grandmother. So at the beginning when Death asks Myungha if he will change Yeowoon's fate and rewrite his story, he's really talking about Myungha.

Adding to this, I also noticed something rather spectacular narratively in the second half of the show. The whole show, we watched Myungha try and (mostly) succeed at making Yeowoon happy. But suddenly I realized, as we watched him get happier and happier, Myungha was falling deeper and deeper into a sadness rivaling how we saw Yeowoon in the beginning. We stopped seeing the calculations of Yeowoon's affection level, and instead saw error messages and system malfunctions, representing Myungha's emotional state.

Which begs the ultimate question on everyone's minds to be answered. If the whole point of sending Myungha back to his 19yo self and giving him Yeowoon was to get him to love himself and be happy, why were the system malfunctions so devastatingly awful and cruel? Answer: because Myungha is the author, and he's depressed and self-destructive.

He begins to feel happy with the changes he's made, he sees Yeowoon happier and he feels like he's succeeding, yet the countdown message to his death still appears. It's ominous and impending and a constant reminder that he's failing. So as the author, he tries to revert back to factory settings by getting rid of the major changes to his life, Yeowoon and his grandmother. The two people who love him most, and the two people he thinks he deserves the least.

Sangwon said it the best. Myungha's main issue is that he refuses to receive love, both from others and himself. Which is why he fails the game and dies a second time. He followed the missions for Yeowoon and refused to let them break down his own walls like they were ment to.

But Death does see the change in him through Yeowoon. Being Myungha's mirror, Yeowoon represents the change that was supposed to happen to Myungha. So when Myungha (the him he hates) deletes himself in order to make Yeowoon (the him he loves) happy ("please make Cha Yeowoon happy"), Yeowoon is able to go full-meta, breaking through the game and rewriting the mission to "Please make Tae Myungha happy."

Thus saving Myungha and allowing him a third chance at a happy life, where he receives just as much love as he gives.

Don't ask me about the "he comes back disjointed from Yeowoon's timeline" thing bc I don't understand it narratively but it sure does make for a visually pleasing ending.

[ohmigoshiloveu]

Okay so like. I still haven't managed to get myself to finish episode 9, so I don't fully know how Theo's glow up finishes, but regardless I fucking love relistening to Emizel's section of episode 1 and like. Fuck man Theo does a lot of growing. Like he's a little bit pathetic at the beginning of the series. He's so, so brave during the alleyway fight, but he sounds shaky and scared and like a sopping wet pathetic baby the entire time. Charlie specifically describes him as not very alert, not a great fighter, and gives him this little moment where it takes him a second to manage to crush a soda can. He botches the check to beat Emizel in Smash Bros so there's a chance he sucks at the related skills (dexterity and computers I think?), but also after he loses Charlie specifically has him sound super frustrated and conclude that he should've 'stayed in his lane'. When Emizel says 'We'll do what we do best,' and Theo immediately responds with 'drink soda?' so fast that the other players notice it. Charlie might've had that as a predetermined character thing. Theo drinks soda. There's not much else to him.

Which creates this interesting dynamic between him and Emizel, because Emizel is so much better at him at all of these skills that the people around them (a FUCKING GANG) value. Emizel's perceptive, and agile, and strong, and a great fucking fighter irl and in videogames AND he always sounds badass. He's the top dog, the apex predator in their social circle. And I think that colors their relationship a lot? Like Theo has to look up to Emizel. I bet that Theo's looked up to Emizel since they first met, maybe Emizel came crashing into his life doing something epic and Theo thought it was the greatest shit ever.

On the flip side, I was getting a few hints of resentment? Hear me out! It's that 'should have just stayed in my lane' line. He's painfully aware how great Emizel is, compared to how much he's (from his perspective!) just a one trick pony. He's here to drink soda and say funny things, that's all most people want from him and he fucks up whenever he tries to do anything else!

And later in the segment Theo snarkily brings up a medicine check that Emizel had just fucked up in like this super backhanded, super passive aggressive way. That could be him wanting to rub Emizel's one singular fuck up in his face (especially because Theo was having a Moment about how he feels like people only see him as the soda guy, so any feelings of inadequacy would've been dialed up to eleven, so if there was any time for him to resent Emizel it'd be then), but it could also be that he was frustrated with Emizel being an ass (Emizel had just guessed that Theo's dream was to be a nurse, which was flat out wrong, and that's literally what set up the backhanded comment. Theo was saying something like 'thank fuck you don't wanna be a nurse cuz you sure fucked up with nursing that guy earlier.' It could also be that Emizel literally almost forgot Theo's name. Theo literally gave him the 'th' sound, it might've just been a bit Charlie was doing or it could've been Theo being AWARE that Emizel almost forgot his name. Or! It could be that in this moment, where Theo was confiding in Emizel about feeling like being the soda guy was all anyone ever saw in him, Emizel said something to the affect of 'well yeah Soda's the fun one.' Emizel doesn't think before he speaks and literally has a 1 in empathy. Just because he loves Theo doesn't mean he's not gonna blunder into being a complete and utter asshole to him. I'd hazard to say Emizel accidentally being an ass to people he cares about is a running theme).

But also all of that might come down to Charlie still getting the character down. Or, because I've theorized before that Theo might not've been supposed to survive the first Gabriel fight, the little hints of bitterness might've been intentional (even if they were completely improvved and Charlie didn't mean to add that to Theo's character) because Charlie was trying to shove as much character into this character before he was gone, but once it became clear that Theo was going to stick around longer he dropped it. As far as I remember, that bitterness is completely gone in all later interactions we see with Theo. OR! It could be that the bitterness drops because they've both got bigger fish to fry from that point onward, what with Theo's Shilo Incident TM, Emizel's vampirism, the Weylin twins. He doesn't have time to be bitter, he's too busy worrying about losing a cornerstone of his identity or helping his best friend adjust to being a fucking vampire now. And then after he learns to live without soda that basically negates his feelings of inadequacy- like, getting over the idea that he's nothing if he's not the soda guy would be required for him to give up on being the soda guy. And then Emizel would drift back into JUST being a guy to aspire to instead of also being a reminder of Theo's short comings, and then drift even further down into being 'guy who is actually going through it and has to overcome his own demons just like I had to overcome mine'. Like, I think we got to watch Theo slowly start to take Emizel off this pedestal in real time (he still definitely thinks Emizel's hot shit tho. Emizel's his boy, after all.)

Regardless, even if Theo did resent Emizel a little in the beginning, it's so fucking clearly overshadowed by how much he fucking loved him. And like, how could he not? Imagine you're Theo, critically low self esteem, and the literal coolest guy you know fucking LOVES you. Like, Emizel keeps consistently going out of his way to pull Theo up to his level and to treat him as an equal (mostly. Sometimes protectiveness bleeds through, like in his hypothetical fang scenario in ep 1 where he predicts there being five Fangs to fight and he says he can take three and Theo can take two (which in itself is still incredibly kind to Theo. Like, boy, you thought Theo was gonna be able to take out two whole guys? Hell no.) But that could also be chalked up to Emizel just being a cocky ass who wants to show off). Like dude, c'mon. Emizel might be a reminder of everything that Theo's not, but he's also probably Theo's biggest cheerleader. He wholeheartedly thought he was being supportive when he said he thought Theo'd make a great nurse! In all seriousness, though, even if it ultimately discourages him, Theo playing that Smash game against Emizel was at least a little bit of proof of him decidedly not 'staying in his lane,' and Emizel seems to inspire that! Later in that segment he challenges Theo to see which of them can break one of the Fangs kneecaps first! I bet Emizel challenged him to stupid competitions a lot, and that got Theo fired up and competitive in return!

And even when Emizel's not building Theo up, he's still giving Theo special attention, or readily receiving any attention Theo gives him. If nothing else, even at his lowest points that might've made Theo feel cool by association.

On Emizel's part, I think he's like, possibly completely oblivious to any turmoil Theo's going through? Like he thinks Theo's the shit and genuinely sees him as an equal. I'm 99% sure that Theo being his right hand man happened because Theo would've put himself into the role (in episode one before he gets all of his character development he's pretty much always looking to Emizel for what to do, and still more or less does whatever he says up to where I'm at in the series, with refusing to leave the alleyway being the only exception I remember). I think if Theo'd had higher self esteem or been less eager to defer to Emizel, Emizel would've happily gone about his business slotting Theo into more of a partner role. He tells Theo to run from that alleyway because Theo'd taken a fucking devastating hit and Emizel was sure he could handle himself, not because he knows Theo sucks at fighting. He tries to turn Theo into a cool vampire. He convinces Shilo that Theo'll be a valuable asset to raiding the Weylin warehouse and they take Theo with them instead of having him stay behind with the car like Grefgore, despite Theo being the one who actually knows how to drive. He tells Theo about being a vampire even though he keeps it a secret from everyone else, confides in Theo that 'yeah he might absolutely be susceptible to going into a frenzy like Shilo did.'

When you get down to it, Emizel pretty much tells Theo everything he would think is relevant, with two notable exceptions. Maybe three if you count him not telling Theo he has nine lives like a cat but tbh I think he might've just forgot. Or maybe he gets to it later, or maybe he did tell him and I forgot! idk man! But! Those other two things. First off, he like. Pointedly does not tell Theo that he's a prince. Like when they were doing the recap on the way to the Weylin warehouse, there's like. Charlie gives Condi an opening to say it, a little 'is there anything else?' and Emizel just. Doesn't. And the second one is that (at least where I'm at) Emizel never comes clean about bloodbonding Theo. Maybe it just hasn't come up yet, but still. It fits a pattern of Emizel not wanting to admit something that makes him, like, ABOVE Theo somehow. He sees Theo as an equal, and a precious one at that, he doesn't want things to get weird between them because he's literal royalty, and he doesn't want Theo's life to literally revolve around him like it would under a level three blood bond- and doesn't want to admit that he even considered it, even if he did it without really understanding what it was.

And Emizel backing off from ghoulifying Theo after Arthur explains what it actually entails kinda leads into a far more headcanon-y relationship analysis thing so um. Feel free to skip the next paragraph.

So! Like. Why the fuck was Emizel so attached to Theo being Soda. Like he gets over it decently quick, cuz that's his buddy and it's what Theo wants, so like. Whatever. But like, if I'm right about Theo always looking up to Emizel from the moment they met, there might've been some wiggle room between when they first became friends and when Theo became Soda. And like, before Theo became Soda, being Emizel's buddy would probably be the only thing he'd feel he had going for him? Which would've made it even harder for Emizel to get them both on equal footing, and I think that's just... really unappealing to him. Like! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Emizel loves having people kiss up to him and respect him and blah blah blah, I just think Theo being his boy and Emizel treating him like a partner go hand in hand. Either they weren't best friends yet or Emizel was just. Kind of uncomfortable and eager to push Theo into growing into something more than a hypeman. And then the soda incident occurs, and it gives Theo SOMETHING to define himself by, something people like him and know him for that's got nothing to do with Emizel, and maybe the initial soda incident was bad, but having that sense of identity and falling into what kind've feels like a class clown kinda role might've helped get Theo over his self esteem issues long enough for Emizel to go 'oh you're actually super cool. sweet.' and then blah blah blah they get super close like they are in canon. And then whenever Theo seems like he's backsliding into what he was before the soda incident, Emizel tries to course correct not because he doesn't think Theo's any fun without soda, but because he's made the mental connection that Soda without soda turns into less of a best friend and more of a follower, which as stated before he probably really doesn't want from Theo specifically. but idk. pure conjecture here.

Anyways, above all else, Theo's important to Emizel. I really, really like the idea that Theo was supposed to be like a brother to him (which. Again pointing at my 'Theo was supposed to die in episode 1' theory, can you IMAGINE the angst Emizel could've had about that? Lose one brother and then someone else claiming to be your brother shows up? It would've felt like some hellish, not-worth-it trade. Like a betrayal, like accepting Shilo might mean replacing Theo, and how could he ever?)

And Emizel's important to Theo! But unlike Emizel (who I'm 99% sure is gonna have some kinda moment with Theo but I genuinely cannot see him loving Theo in any other way than the way he does now), Theo has the bonus of having his view of Emizel have a clear trajectory to evolve over the course of the campaign. Like I said, he seems to be getting more confidence in himself and like, not gonna get into the stuff I've had spoiled beyond episode 9 but it seems like Theo's gonna get a lot more comfortable being a proper leader and not just a number two. He's gonna have an easier time seeing Emizel as an equal, and I think that's fucking awesome!

I could be completely off base, but if I never watch another episode then I'll never be proven wrong. So. Ya know.

[danwhobrowses]

nothing to see here just a crazy shipper guy going crazy over Callowmoore under the bit, if that's not for you then go about your business

So fellow Callowmoores how we feelin' this morning/evening? Because it's evening right now and I'm still bouncing off the walls in my mind

The one post could not keep me contained! No seriously the amount of tags I put in hit a limit and doesn't show them all

I mean yes we didn't get a kiss (yet) but goddamn we got so much, it has possessed me, deranged me, it's leaking outta my brain I gotta talk about it, so either jump out or buckle up because this overflow is gonna be long

First off I just gotta talk about how so many things almost lined up how I imagined them because it just makes it feel like they looked into my head and thought 'hey that's kinda good'. Like, I wanted Fearne to take the shard at Mori's, it was a safer space for her than the Ziggurat which is tainted by bad memories (this and other campaigns), I just didn't expect it so soon, thought they'd at least have a full rest first. In fact I had a whole scene in my mind where in a desperate gambit Delilah took over Laudna while she slept and just knocked on Ashton's door in a form of dread going 'where's the shard Ashton?'. It's key to this I promise not only because I enjoyed the idea of Ashton not taking any of Delilah's shit (plus for you Imodnas out there the mental scene involves Ashton whispering 'Imogen's in danger' to wake her, they also ask where Paté is because they still have that 'Paté is Delilah' theory) but it also expanded on the possible helplessness Ashton would have being unable to assist Fearne with taking the shard

'You're a child, Ashton. A blunt instrument that charges blindly into harm, would you really risk Fearne's life to earn her forgiveness? You know what it can do, what happens when you can't protect her from it?'

Of course, Ashton would never give Delilah the shard, which would frustrate Delilah since she can't manipulate them, but the comment weighs on Ashton a little. Which is when the whole waking Laudna happens and she leaves, but Fearne is in his room (the Vox Machina bathtub scene being inspiration), having asked to sleep there for comfort and asks them if it worries them. Which is where I often got to use this quote

'I don't believe in fate, but I believe in you'

And it sticks with me because it's super romantic, but also on-brand for Ashton, there were variations like the longer 'things only affect our path if we choose to believe they do; fate is complicated, the gods don't give a fuck, and I don't wanna even think about legacy anymore, I don't believe in them, but I believe in you' but then the next morning comes and Ashton gives her the ring, since I forgot about attunement there were instances where it was a sneaky sleight of hand thing, and Fearne completes the process. Of course, with weeks to go on there were a lot more scenarios like Fearne pickpocketing the Ashton doll to practice talking to and putting it back, Ashton seeking Mori for advice, herbal tea visions where Ashton entered their own mind and encounters the empress while on the outside Delilah possesses Laudna to try and drain the power from them, one where the shard having been reshaped through Ashton is less intense on Fearne for the first 4 rounds (since they blew up on the fifth) because Ashton's essence is containing and dissipating the hostile energy, and one where the group secretly vote against Ashton being there for Fearne taking the shard (Imogen, Laudna, and Chetney 3 to 2 against Orym and FCG) but Fearne as the decider pulls them over because she needs them there, stuff like that I'm sure fanfic writers could consume to their heart's content (and are free to, go nuts). But these scenes stood out because it had elements of stuff that are linked to or actually happened in the episode; Fearne does take the shard, Ashton endorses that Fearne is the only one who can take it, Ashton gives her the ring and Shattered Vigor is apparently a thing where Ashton is practically taking Fearne's pain to protect her, that alone is enough to go insane over.

And can we talk about the ring for a moment, because like THE RING. I'm not talking about generically either I mean that this ring has been significant to the shard saga ever since Ashton claimed it. It was found on the corpse of someone infused into stone, into the earth, right between the whole eidolons stuff where Ashton connected with an Earth elemental and then the Grau Dashari stuff with the crystals they merged with their hammer and then the Bor'dor incident, that could've easily been a titan-based punishment. Also, Ring of Volcanic Flesh, like Ashton's stone arm? And if that wasn't enough, what was the first thing Fearne stole from Ashton when they reunited? The ring, the act that broke down Ashton's walls as they let out a most heartfelt 'I missed you, so much' the ring that Fearne stole right off of Ashton's fingers only for them to willingly put in her hand to protect her, because just as they said at the clock tower, everything they have belongs to her. And while legacy and hubris had a part in the shard incident, part of it was also for Fearne. I don't believe there's any situation where if Fearne said she wanted the shard at the clock tower Ashton would've said no; Ashton knows that Fearne was key to the shard dislodging in the lava, they sensed it was in a way key to both of them, but there was no reality where Ashton was gonna force Fearne to take the shard if she didn't want it. And yes it blew up in their face, much like Fearne they saw an image of themselves they didn't want to be, their soul broke with the realisation that they hurt the one person they never wanted to hurt, but thanks to Percy they also realised that they had to change. It wasn't enough to see everyone else having someone at the reunion and internalizing 'if someone has to not come back it's gotta be me' they had to make steps towards being the person the Hells needs them to be, someone who can come back with them.

Which is where last episode started setting it up, and I didn't speak much about it at the time because other than the pretty plain 'I would've rather died than hurt Fearne' insinuation (which in turn was confessed to save Fearne from falling) there was only crumbs that could be interpreted other ways; for instance Birdie's tale with Athion and Olly being somewhat of a parallel to Tevan and Ashton, the formers wooing Birdie and Fearne with temptations of indulgence while the latters drawing their attention by being subjects of intrigue, defiance and kindness, plus they saved the latters (Birdie literally via escaping the prisons and Fearne emotionally and literally), or before the Orym conversation when Ashton takes 'one last look' Taliesin looks towards Ashley last. But I knew there was poetic significance to Ashton failing the communication trial, Marisha sensed the vibe too, but even though Fearne was nervous about guiding Ashton, the fault fell to poor dice rolls (and Liam not keeping shtum and summoning thunderwasps) and once again Ashton in an attempt to prove themselves falls flat on their ass in front of the person they most want to prove it to. And that did break my heart a little I must admit because as poetic as it was who hasn't been there? Ashton's journey of proving themselves has been laden with failure too; being unable to protect anyone from Otohan led to them almost being TPK'd, being unable to keep the group together at the Malleus Key led to the group being scattered, and then Team Trauma's stuff - Orym was despondent and Laudna's a wreck, got a random 'shepherd's boy', a powerful Cobalt Soul teen prodding about the solstice and all of Deni$e here added as mainly combat support, loners but no leaders, Dawnfather angel thinks them insignificant, dark spirits trying to consume their only leads about the Hishari - and the moment Ashton started to trust Bor'dor after the pipe vision what happens? Betrayal, Hunger of the Shadow and Delilah is let back in, Ashton couldn't even keep Laudna safe from herself, they reunite, try to sort out their shit with their past, discover that they might have a destiny to fulfill and end up being too willing to die in place of others, and unable to protect their new family from themselves, because of these recent failures it was important that Ashton proved themselves in the trust trial.

And thankfully they did, there was no way to prove that anyone was a Doppelganger and yet, Ashton still trusted Fearne; twice saving her from the flora even when told to leave her behind. And they were close to another failure when the branch was snatched - after their attempts to keep it safe by throwing it in the pool alone - but they trusted Chet and Orym (father/son duo) to cover more ground while they helped Fearne. And even when FCG told Ashton 'I think it's Fearne', and when Imogen was untrusting of Fearne, Ashton abandoned their held action to save FCG from the brambles because they knew Fearne could be trusted. They trusted Imogen to connect to Ruidus and as mentioned endorsed Fearne to take the shard.

And sure, in my mental scenarios Ashton gives her the shard, doing the same she did for them, but I did say almost like how I imagined. And Ashton still did everything they could, plus Imogen comforted their visible worry, but once it's complete they're just in awe, and then their own spark awakens through her touch, a touch they were unafraid of even at the threat of newfound fire, and now for the first time ever they feel whole. She saved them, and now they finally feel complete, and now this time Fearne is agape, Fearne is in awe, and everything she had hoped Ashton would gain from taking the shard before has come to fruition through her, and it's just, joy, pure incorruptible joy, a kindred connection that belongs to just them. Plus a big piece of paper for all the new powers they are excited to learn about from each other, with each other, and while Matt can talk about there being risks to them because you gotta balance the combat the narrative significance is still there.

But dammit they need to kiss, I've yelled it enough times in my head; like the lava, the clock tower, before and after Fearne took the shard, the only times they did kiss was before the solstice (the forehead kiss) and the ziggurat and both preceded bad times, they deserve a proper one, not one at risk of being a goodbye, something precious, irreplaceable and theirs to have, to share. And I don't know if they should use the patented 'can I kiss you?' or take a tip from BeauYasha and use 'I wanna kiss you so bad right now' or find something else to make their own but I desire it so much, had it happened this ep I probably would've melted out of my seat. They're awkward and nervous but they gotta take the leap, Ashton needs to realise they're loved and maybe even be told that they deserve it even when they feel they don't, and Fearne has to take a risk too, the shard put doubt to her decisions but that doesn't mean she can run from her strong emotions. It doesn't fix everything of course, but sometimes people heal better together than apart. As a currently vorbed half-elf once said 'drink the courage first'.

Curiosity continues to send me after the ep, and while some people are attempting to blemish or rain on the parade (I mean, I try not to speak ill of other ships in general, but if you're gonna be negative about it you can at least do it in your lane, your tags not ours) I am still just riding the high of the possibilities. True, the unknown can make me nervous, and I will admit the group has to give Ashton and Fearne space (they're just excited, and with the bloody bridge hinting to be a final moon-based battle there is that sense of urgency) Imodna had nudges sure but they have been a bit heavy-handed and kinda chaperoned around them, Fearne and Ashton seldom get time alone, one can hope they can get that time with each other next episode.

[curator-on-ao3]

I never came back from Among the Lotus Eaters

I see now, in hindsight of SNW season two, that Among the Lotus Eaters was a breaking point for me.

First, that episode needed to transition Batel and Pike from … whatever they were … to a deeper relationship. And what did the episode do?

It hung their issues on not enough time for each other. (How many dinner parties has this man thrown?)

It made Pike a commitment-phobe. (Really? Pike? Y’all sure you meant second season Pike not second season Picard?)

It undercut Pike as a captain as well as his pain dating back to The Cage. (Say, fellas, is it okay to leave your yeoman behind if someone at some point said he looked kinda dead?)

Here’s the thing. I would have bought the episode starting with Batel and Pike having an adult discussion about how they could have hated each other after Una’s arrest and trial but they don’t. They’re still drawn to each other. Then I would have bought Pike’s relationship hesitancy being due to his concerns about his fate — and Una later calling him out on his potential fears for longer-term intimacy when he believes his days are numbered. (And if the show backtracks to make this Pike’s motivation, I’m gonna call bullshit because it should have been there from the start. I’ve seen a thousand stories about commitment-phobes. But a story about a person frightened to hurt someone they might be falling for because of a known timeline to the end? That’s actually interesting.)

Then, I would have bought Pike on the planet holding the necklace and feeling that he had unfinished business — the adult discussion with Batel (as opposed to love that, due to his own fears, hadn’t yet been grounded in the reality of the episode).

Second, the episode has the hero moment of Erica figuring out that she flies the ship. Okay, putting aside that other people can and do fly the ship (ahem, Una), this was an incredible opportunity for Erica to have a totem to remind her of why she cares about flying, not just that she does it. Give us a goddamn model airplane or a book about birds or an action figure of Erika Hernandez — something. Anything. Let us get to know Erica better. This missed opportunity stings.

Third, the trauma repetition was painful. The guy on the planet lost his whole family? Dude, he’s the three-way pointing Spider-Man meme with two members of the away team — M’Benga and La’an. What are the odds of all three of them having the same trauma (and not discussing it)? I don’t know, but it was lazy as shit. (Note: Uhura has the same trauma. Una might, per her service record. Enough already.) Make that guy the former king and he’s somehow responsible for the memory loss rock landing and plaguing the planet. Make him a doctor who saved Zac’s life and therefore plunged the planet into tyrannical rule. Again — something. Anything. Just make it unique instead of repetitive. (And if he had saved Zac’s life by some extreme means, that could even possibly excuse Pike for breaking the essential promise of Starfleet by leaving a crewmember behind.)

There’s more. There’s so much more. There should have been a line, at least, about Una being affected by the radiation when her body could clear radiation before. There should have been recognition that Pike was going down to the planet underprepared — again — by cutting the number of people on the away team. There should have been console warnings flashing that, I don’t know, the warp core was in danger since no one in engineering knew who they were or how to do their jobs.

This episode began the season’s beats of Pike being a crummy captain and a crummy boyfriend. It continued the trend of underutilizing Erica, even when she’s there. It forgot the show’s own internal realities. And I am big mad about that because this clutch point of an episode could have been different. It could have been better.

[bengiyo]

Gav and Cai Hira and Kiyoi Teh and Oh

aka my top 3 and TanBun or KornKnock for the grown and sexy

Absolutely zero chill. Four pairs?? I think you're just gonna get me firing from the hip.

Gavreel and Cairo

When it comes to BL, the Philippines won when it came to tackling how the pandemic affected connection and romance. I really like presentation of developing a crush on a streamer and just going for it with these two. I'm still waiting for my proper gamers BL, but this is a good first outing.

I think what I like so much about what we got from these two is how temporary so much of their lives feels. They want to be together. They want to commit. However, life won't let them. Gav can't stay here and be okay because he's running out of money and honestly isn't that well right now. Cairo is still grieving his dad, and he has a lot of growing up to do.

They're one of the rare pairs that I want to be together in the future who I am glad are forced to take a break when we see them part.

Hira and Kiyoi

I think the best thing about this show and this pairing was the reveal that Kiyoi was also obsessed with Hira from the moment their eyes first locked. I also really like that Kiyoi is a bottom who wants it.

We've been lucky with these two that we got to see them three times, and I like how much stronger Yagi has gotten as an actor each time, and how Hagiwara has grown as a creator and storyteller. These two seem to really understand that they have two characters who struggle to say what's necessary to each other in a way that reaches the other.

I loved in Season 2 when Kiyoi realized that Hira was still worshiping him as a god and freaked the fuck out about it, storming out of the house. That he was in the living room the next morning waiting for Hira to come and talk to him, only to get annoyed again was perfect. We get fairly decent payoff for Hira finally facing his own ego when it comes to Kiyoi in the movie, and these two remain among my favorites.

Also, Yagi Yusei really is that beautiful.

Teh and Oh

I just know if I was part of MoRaoYuLok I would have a side chat where we just bitched about these two.

Teh is such an asshole sometimes, and Oh is really so patient with his nonsense. I always lament that Teh is so unsociable that he struggles to maintain a lot of friendships, and it's why that snake Jai was able to get in there and fuck up his life. Still, Teh isn't off the hook for his own shit. He's always struggled with jealousy when it comes to Oh, and he's always worried about falling behind him.

Oh is just so naturally gifted and has an irresistible natural charm. He knows he's beautiful, and he knows how people see yet, and yet he's only ever looking at Teh. We should all be so lucky.

I think about that translation scene in episode 3 of ITSAY regularly, and how that is probably one of the best moments we've ever had in BL. These two really captured a love that feels bigger than their bodies can contain.

Tan and Bun

I'll talk about Tan and Bun since it's been too long since I watched Together With Me and cannot remember them that clearly anymore.

Tan was so ridiculous this entire show, and I'll never get over Bun being ACAB as fuck the whole time. Bun never forgot that he was trying to solve this case for his bestie who they murdered, but he knew she would want him to get some ass along the way.

Tan said absolutely insane shit to Bun literally every episode. He even shot that man off a cliff. Somehow he still won. Incredible.

Send Me a Ship and I'll Share My Thoughts

[phantomram-b00]

Okay I wasn’t going to be active today, but I saw this post about Crowley, and I do recommend you check it out it bring up many good points. It does inspire me to make a post about something I’m kinda surprised no one talks about exactly (or maybe they did idk.)

Now keep in mind, I do love Crowley and Aziraphale, they’re both my favorite characters and also my comfort characters/ship. Not just for their good deeds and characterization but also because they flawed. Or as they said in the blitz episode, they shade of grey. 🩶 I just feel like Crowley behaving a bit stupidly here. (But here might have more validity but still felt it was unwarranted)

Now onto the post, probably wondering what I could be talking about The Jim Situation all the way back in season 2 episode 1

So I’ve been meaning to talk about this, but I wasn’t exactly sure if it would be well received or wouldn’t make sense. But I think the post I linked help me have some confidence, as I do feel that people when talking about it forgot that, Aziraphale DID NOT want to help Gabriel at all. He never wanted to see him again after 2019; why would he, he not only approve of the first armageddon but also wanted to execute him (specially but also crowley) and overall was passive aggressive asshole towards him. Why would he ever want to help his toxic ex-boss? He kinda didn’t have a choice here, now he did say no at first when Gabriel asked to come in (I mean— idk about you but your ex-boss who’s naked want to come into my house I wouldn’t let them inside neither just no-) but he did bring him inside because he felt obligated because everyone is looking at him and the naked man friend, I think if things were different I think Aziraphale wouldn’t even think about helping him as another thing, Aziraphale moved on from everything that happen, he’s living his life, he even said so to Crowley when talking how he doesn’t report to them anymore. So the have this happen, just felt like ABBA song “Mama Mia here I go again”.

But another thing is that, Aziraphale also (while hesitantly) want to know what happen to Gabriel? Why has he forgotten about himself or really everything? And asking him or the empty box didn’t solve anything at all. As patient as aziraphale is, even his was running really thin as he talk to Gabriel. Not to mention of the fact Gabriel revealed that something terrible might happen which understandably terrifies Aziraphale. So, he turns to Crowley, which gifted us Nina asked about the naked man friend (Sorry I love his face when she drop that, the expression speaks so much volume I love it! XD)

Okay back to my ramble, now at first I’ll give the benefit of the doubt of why Crowley was kinda suspicious at first, Aziraphale wasn’t being up front about it at first (though to be fair, trying to tell someone “hey my naked ex-boss is in my bookshop and doesn’t know who he even is” is probably the most bizarre to even try to explain or tell anyone). And then as they go inside the bookshop, he got spooked rightfully so, this was the same person who wanted to kill Aziraphale, even saying the worse thing he can ever say: “shut your stupid mouth and die”. So to see him again, yeah, being scared is a valid response even as well as being showing keep resentment.

But, as they went to the very Va-Va-vroom yellow backroom, Crowley first idea was to take Gabriel somewhere far away, which if you really think about, wouldn’t solve any of their problem. It like putting a bandage or tape on a crack, sure it might help for now but more cracks will come up and will eventually break (I’ll get back to this later). What aziraphale said kinda valid, Gabriel does need them because who knows if this something terrible would only affect Gabriel, it could very well affect him or even Crowley or earth, so in Aziraphale’s view helping him out might neutralize whatever’s going on or will happen and taking him to dartmoor as Crowley stated do anything.

Now okay to give more benefit of the doubt, again, I do understand why Crowley was acting this way, and Aziraphale selflessly helping Gabriel is infuriating for him. As Crowley seeing this as “how can you help the person who want to murder you? How can you look past and forgive them this easily? How can you possible find it in your heart to help him after everything?”, which is pointing out Aziraphale’s flaws, him being selfless and need to help. Gabriel could’ve curse him out or bring him down to his lowest yet he still want to help. Now, there nothing wrong with being selfless, it an honorable thing to do, however, it become an issue when your selfless without thinking how it’ll affect you or the person involve. But, as I mention before, Aziraphale never wanted to help Gabriel, the only reason Aziraphale’s want to even do far as help this angel is because 1) he was obligated to as who else could possible help an amnesiac angel? 2) Gabriel mention something terrible will happen, so aziraphale want to know what can that be to prevent it. And 3) he’s pushing away his qualms against gabriel aside just so he can help him. So I don’t think Aziraphale’s exactly wrong for not wanting to sent Gabriel away as it wouldn’t solve the something terrible.

But Crowley doesn’t want to help (at first), so Aziraphale despite desperately loving nothing more but for Crowley to help him; said he’s welcome to go. He’s at least giving Crowley the opportunity to choose. Even though, Aziraphale want his help more than anything as the one thing both of them share is that, they don’t want to see Gabriel anymore. However, with aziraphale telling him he can go, Crowley well leaves. But not before (granted he did try to calm down though):

Aziraphale while most likely understands why Crowley left, I feel given his expression just wished Crowley tried a little harder rather than just walking away that easily. I almost said maybe he also feels envious that Crowley got the choice to walk away from this but I don’t see Aziraphale as someone who’s envious to that degree, but I feel Aziraphale wasn’t at least wishful he could avoid this whole Gabriel thing more than Crowley. But it just their luck.

Okay back to Crowley again, so we back to see him inside the car and then he is teleported back to hell by Beelzebub, there Ze tell Crowley what Shax mentioned before that Gabriel is gone and try to bribe Crowley by saying he can name his own price and even get his job back. Then tells Crowley that heaven up and arms about the disappearance and will dealt with anyone who’s helping Gabriel with extremes sanctions. Which absolutely mortified him because then there that possibility of being erased from the book of life.

And no, I don’t think Crowley’s original plan would’ve solved anything because in a way, that’s still helping Gabriel in some way. Does it more or less benefit Crowley and aziraphale yes but not by the long run. Like I said, it’s putting a bandage/tape on a crack, it could hold but not for long as it will ultimately fall apart and they would still be punished by doing this. So I think that’s why I never got why he still said “no no no aziraphale what have you done!?” Like sure even though I said my benefit of the doubt, I feel he should’ve at least understand this wasn’t Aziraphale’s choice neither, or even that this isn’t all on aziraphale anyway. It was Gabriel that just showed up and came to Aziraphale’s bookshop in the first place, so this was sprung on him. So I felt this was kinda irrational for him to think this way as Aziraphale never wanted this at all.

So Crowley comes back and Aziraphale decides to play petty (which sure valid since he did walk away but he did give him a choice? Idk it complicated), and Crowley goes on to say he was right which prompted to aziraphale wanting the apology dance from him (which okay imma be real, I have a headcanon where I think Aziraphale was dying to see this day. Been waiting until they first invented it which— I’m curious who idea was this.)

Now, you can debate if this thing was apology dance worthy but frankly, to see the dance, peak performance. But this isn’t about the dance, it about the grey heroes so let get back into it. Now Crowley does decide to help after all, and they decide to do what it seem to be the most powerful miracle anyone probably have ever seen or ranked. And it was only a half miracle. Which is really interesting. But I think even though Crowley does decide to help, I felt his earlier action was not exactly stupid but was unfair toward Aziraphale but at the same time it valid because of what I’ve stated and his underline trauma towards heaven period, so I can’t really call him stupid for this, but more or less deeply flawed here. However while the situation itself was unfair for Aziraphale as he want to help whatever going on I felt he should’ve also been more considerate about Crowley’s feeling with this whole ordeal as was equally unfair to Crowley in a way too. But I think the most common thing is that they don’t want to do this and want this thing to be resolved so they can move on with their lives. And even if Crowley did what he did, at least Aziraphale foot at forgiveness :) (I hate myself for making that joke— someone sedate me)

Now that’s my thought, this probably is controversial, so you’re welcome and valid if you disagree or even agree with this. Tell me what you think or if you agree/disagree tell me why? If you guys do have good omens question or question in general you can ask me on the AMA. But if you have any commentary on this blog you can unleash them, just please be mindful that’s all I ask. I have more analysis I got plan but for now, imma head to bed and relax. I’ll go haunt with you guys later but for now I’ll go haunt somewhere else. Hope you enjoy this blog and please check out the post I link on here, it was an interesting take and help me inspire me to make this one ^v^ so hope you enjoy that post too.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-7: Sole Crusher

Finally! Time to say hello to Zoe and get a grip on her character? Is she interesting and adds something new to the table? Or is she just there so there can be a new Bee holder?

This show's still trying to say this is actually Paris and not just a small town imitation while the real Paris is converted to a theme park for tourists? There should be far more tourists than just Zoe then!

Like I feel like Marinette's parents' bakery is the one of the only, if not the only, one in Paris! Is this all because this is a cheap CGI-animated show or something!? They can't render in more people or make more bakery sets?

'The best bakery in Paris' is Marinette's parents'. Of all the bakeries it's the main character's and she isn't even that rich. My theory is getting truer by the second.

The fact that Zoe's father isn't even there makes me believe he isn't there for her life much. My parents would be with me if I was a 14-year-old going to Paris. Or at least one of my parents. I know I doubt Zoe's mom was in her life because she's clearly a deadbeat,

Yup. There she is, the deadbeat.

Oh. He was a deadbeat and Zoe did go to boarding school. As I thought.

Glowing shoes

pffft Zoe hates her at first sight

Also I know this is supposed to show Chloe as someone evil but I can only think about how warped her perception of society is.

pffffffft she's literally in the closet

Also wouldn't it be more practical for Sabrina to do her homework at home or is this just a lousy excuse to demonize Chloe?

This isn't even going to be a good downfall arc, isn't it? Like with the OG of serialized, more serious cartoons, Avatar, had Azula, a rich powerful 14 year old with minion-friends aside her, undergo an downfall arc, but there was still sympathy and understanding to her downfall. I consumed enough spoiler content to know the show treats the main Adult Villain as more sympathetic than Chloe.

Oh right. Audrey cheated on her husband! I forgot all about that while I saw Chloe get worse. Andre should divorce her but he's a bit too much of a pushover.

Marinette believed that!? Isn't she supposed to be good at figuring out liars? Oh, right. She didn't recognize Adrien when he had a fencing mask on.

pffffffffffffffffft "Do you think we can adopt her?"

And the limo's pink as well!

Or did Marinette see through the lies? Or is she just guessing?

Pfft the hyper-scheming

IS THAT TOMOE TSURUGI!? SHE WAS AN ACTRESS!?

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft this is probably one of the [%@!$] akumas by far. A giantess that gains height by stepping on people.

I wonder how expensive those two otherworldly shots were.

Seriously? Zoe's charm is gold and diamond-themed?

Ivan was the first one to comfort her. I feel like this adds character for him. Good. We barely have any content. Hm. It shows initiative and a physical side to him. Maybe his love language is physical affection?

Well, she has a backstory that ain't half bad, but it feels like she's just here to show how 'irredemable' Chloe is.

[alegacyofmonsters]

Legacies 1x02 Rewatch

Hope's love for Shakespeare should've been a common thread through the seasons

Missing Emma hours. They all needed therapy so bad.

Lizzie getting so enthusiastic about game day 😭😭😭 Protect her at all costs

No because the way Josie's black magic had negative effects on Lizzie but Josie not being affected when Lizzie did black magic was never explained will always be one of the worst Legacies mysteries. I'm just gonna have to assume it's because Lizzie always handled hers better.

"Maybe you're pregnant" is an ironic insult to use on a lesbian virigin

"Bounce MG" 😭😭😭 She's the definition of unserious

The way Hope was sharing memories left and right in the first few episodes and then never again. It's such a cheap special effect too???

Hafael's chemistry was off the charts and I can't believe they never shared more than a dream kiss

"I have ACTUAL magic powers" Is this wolf on wolf violence??

"Put a shirt on." I see where Lizzie gets it from

"Dad loves Hope more than us." "You're being melodramatic." "You really want Dad to stop loving us? Keep it up." Mm hmm. Nasty.

The way Alaric probably will miss Lizzie's wedding too ...

Just not for the reason she thinks

Hope mocking Landon for running like she didn't just get called out for being a runner last episode. I'm gonna need you to tone down the soulmatism here.

The Connor-Dana-Josie trio truly is something else

"I was being recruited by D1 schools before I got here" TELL US MORE. GIVE US YOUR WHOLE BACKSTORY. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE NEVER GOT IT.

"I've been at the school for two days and I've already heard all about Hope Mikaelson and her sunny disposition." #People need to keep Hope's name out of their mouth at that school

Really can't believe we didn't get another football episode ever

I can't prove it but Connor shoving Kaleb to the ground from behind was racially motivated, I just know it

Sorry but Lizzie talking about "perky little boobs" unprovoked is gay. Why are you looking at other girls' boobs and why are you obsessing over how perky they are. That's gay.

"When someone other than Lizzie takes a shot at Josie, they tend to wake up with scabies." Big sister energy for sure. Everyone else is wrong, sorry, not sorry.

"If Lizzie Saltzman is what you want, I can help you get her." SHE'S NOT A PRIZE.

"Does a girl have to have a motive to do charity work?" Cruel but iconic

"I just want to take a minute to let you know how proud I am. You're all doing a great job." How did anyone think she was a bitch?? Just because she came up with some funny nicknames???

No because do you ever think how Lizzie was literally trained to lose games for other people's benefits her whole life and then that's exactly what she did for the Merge? Oh I'm gonna be sick.

MG the second someone bullies Lizzie:

No but Penelope, Dana, Josie, Alyssa ... there's a clear pattern there ...

Hope is such a bitch 😭😭😭 I love her

"If he says there is a fire breathing woman running through the woods, then there's a -" "THERE'S A FIRE BREATHING WOMAN RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS." This show is comedy gold

"Maybe she wants the knife you said you don't have." Get him again Hope

The fact that Lizzie just let Dana walk all over her but the second Dana insulted Josie, the gloves were off

"Maybe I just get a thrill from tormenting all the crazies." ABSOLUTELY NASTY.

MaYbE yOu'Re FeElInG a LiTtLe DeLuSiOnAl BeCaUsE yOu'Re OfF yOuR mEdS

"You can count on my steel." "Ew, gross." TELL ME AGAIN HOW YOU THINK SHE LIKED IT WHEN HE HIT ON HER REPEATEDLY AFTER BEING REJECTED

No ThIs IsN't WhAt We TaLkEd AbOuT And???

"Can you prioritize your rage?" 😭😭😭 No, Rafael, it's how she flirts

"Not if SHE has anything to say about it"

"MY dAd bUiLt ThIs ScHoOl" Okay, first of all, Alaric is father to like 90 kids so I need you to calm down and secondly, I forgot how self-centered and entitled Josie was in S1. I know it only gets worse from here.

"It's like she appears out of smoke." She's been there the whole time. Just because you've been pretending to ignore her because your crush is not gone, doesn't mean she's not there.

"My immortal soul." Well wait until your body's immortal too Lizzie

I love how Penelope was willing to find a compromise between the twins and Lizzie was immediately down

So YoU cAn ThRoW mE uP LaTeR

God I love this show but I truly hate the shot inconsistency. Tell me why Josie tackled Dana and bounced back to her feet but somehow six seconds later was back on the ground to screw the team with her spell.

What exactly was on the clipboard Penelope was holding the whole time

Real answer: She was just holding it to look like a boss bitch and it worked

Lizzie throws literal PUNCHES to defend her sister

"Earth magic" implies the existence of air magic, fire magic, water magic ... Imagine if Legacies embraced the whole elements thing ...

"This hatred, this vengeance, this isn't you. It can't be you. I won't allow it." And yet he said nothing when his daughter went around ACTUALLY killing other students ... no wait, he made one of her victims play her bodyguard.

Us never getting to see the insides of those ritzy Salvatore School bathrooms is a crime

"You're my sister. My best friend. She spent the last ten years making us feel like we don't matter." I wish I could go back in time and tell Lizzie the whole truth

"I don't like that feeling that way. Not from Hope. Not from girls like Dana. Not from Dad. And not from you." "I promise."

"You had my back today." When? No, like genuinely, when? Lizzie was out there defending Josie against Dana left and right but when did Josie have her back??

"What are we gonna do about Dad?" "More like what is he gonna do to us?" Give you a hug. Literally.

Hayley missing from the photos gets me every time 😥😥😥

[cloverandstuff]

I'm rewatching Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood cause it's been literally a decade since I've watched it.

So cheers, I have a reaction thread (because I'm a sentimental bitch)

Episode 1:

God, I've forgotten how it immediately just got to the action in the first episode. Like, it set up everything and gave a glimpse of nearly all important character.

Poor Isaac, was probably manipulated, but ultimately led himself to his own demise. Very bold though.

And god, I think I was too depressed at the time of watching it, but the Eldric brother's backstory was so painful with that small glimpse.

Episode 2:

I cannot for the life of me understand why this shit didn't affect me as much as it should've as a kid. It might've depression that numbed my emotions, but I guess we'll never know.

Anyway, my point is, this is is traumatizing, and that's me saying this as an adult. The backstory and the short glimpses of the mom, as well as the clear love and dedication they had for her? The way that Ed didn't even hesitate to try and find more truth? The way he dragged himself, bleeding leg and all, to the armor to shove it down, and connect his brothers soul to it???

And god, the way I just kept whisper-shouting when they came to recruit him, cause I didn't remember shit, going-

But man, as someone is is now so much older than Ed is in the anime, they make him act a kid. A very smart, powerful and purposeful kid, but a kid nonetheless. He's so young and you can just feel it in the little things he does. He does not have his shit together and is still figuring some shit out.

Episode 3:

I love the comedy this anime has. It has the funny little pauses and the interuption of what should be serious moments without ruining the actual serious moments.

It is exactly my cup of tea, with a silly joke that just poked fun at a kid or being, well. A kid. He's small, and that joke may remind He's small but I can also remind you that he is so much younger than his peers.

I am an atheist so I do have the same kinda mindset about God that Edward has. Rose has this sort of annoying mindset of God and his priests being this answer to all suffering and anyone who disagrees will suffer divine Punishment. It is frustrating at the start.

But I can fully understand where she's coming from by the end. She clung onto this hope, this prayer that someone she loved so much will eventually be revived. Rose then meets the brothers who lost someone they loved, and tried to being back as well. She saw the consequences and felt terrified. But she spent so long just clinging onto this hope that she desperately wants it to be true. So she argues, trying to convince herself that Cornella was telling the truth and she didn't waste so long praying for something that didn't exist.

People can find comfort in the idea of God(s). The idea that there is someone looking after everyone and offering guidance is reassuring for some.

That was not Rose's situation.

Rose's situation is more akin to having a loved one suffering from a terminal disease and convincing yourself that prayers and God will be able to do what science could not. You can not pray for the impossible. You can pray for hope, for guidance or for even a fast recovery. But you need to understand that even if you wish for something impossible, you cannot spend your life wasting away on these prayers and refuse to do anything else.

Rose needed to stop clinging in general because she was clinging on to something impossible that compelled her to try and attempt awful things. She needed to learn to stand on her own. Maybe she could one day find hope in God again, but it wouldn't be anytime soon.

Man, I went on a rant there.

Anyway, I just wanted to type all that put because my mind just felt like analysing for a bit.

I forgot what the philosopher stone even did until now. I remembered that it was powerful but I that was about it. Now I remember, it was shit about defying the rule of absolute equivalence.

I am kinda happy I forgot majority of the lore of this anime, it makes it fun to put all the pieces together again as an adult who can process things and analyse better.

Episode 4:

This hurts.

This hurts so much. They were so happy, and acting like actual kids. They played all sorts of games with Nina and Alexander. It was so bright. They were so bright.

But Tucker, the motherfucker, only saw what he was bound to lose instead of what he had. He tried to work his way through it, but eventually just gave up.

My heart sank when I heard him ask Nina to play the next day. It broke even more when heard Nina say, in that voice that doesn't belong to a kid, "onii-chan".

He sacrificed everything just to save his title pf State Alchemist. He gave up his wife and then his daughter and the respect of these kids.

God, I hate him. I understand him and his desperation and I hate him.

Scar is back though. We love scar man. He's weird but core to the story and has every right to hate State Alchemists.

Again, when I was a kid, I didn't feel much. This episode never hit me as hard as it does now. Back then, I though the Eldric brothers were being dramatic about the whole thing.

Now it just strikes me so hard how fucked up it wad to be willing to experiment on your own kid for a stupid title. To mutate her into an existence that was nothing like her human one.

Brotherhood didn't make it blatantly, but it was mentioned time and again, just how painful it was to be a chimera in the original. Nina was in pain and Tucker knew this.

I fully understand why this hurt the Eldric brothers so much now. That was horrid. And to be able to even see a semblance of yourself in that was painful.

[covid-safer-hotties]

What Exactly Is Long Covid? — ITT Episode 37 - Audio Interview - Published September 11, 2024

Listen at the link!

The millions of people worldwide who are suffering from a vast array of disabling symptoms long after being infected with SARS-CoV-2 may eventually benefit from a new consensus definition of long Covid.

Rachel Gotbaum: This is “Intention to Treat” from the New England Journal of Medicine. I’m Rachel Gotbaum. Today, we are going to talk about the millions of people who have been struggling with baffling and often disabling symptoms since being infected with SARS-CoV-2. There has been no standard definition of what exactly long Covid is or how to diagnose it, until now. Recently, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine came out with a comprehensive definition of long Covid, calling it a chronic, systemic disease state with profound consequences. Long Covid can affect any organ in the body and can attack one or multiple systems, and includes some 200 symptoms and hundreds of conditions, such as lupus, cardiovascular disease, fibromyalgia, and cognitive impairment. The hope is that with this new definition, clinicians, researchers, and policymakers can finally help the patients with long Covid who continue to suffer.

Tiffany Brown: I’m Tiffany Brown. I’m 56 years old. I got Covid in August of 2020. By December, I started to feel ill again. I was having trouble concentrating and focusing. The headaches and the full body aches are sometimes so bad, you just don’t want to get out of bed. You just want to lay there because you hurt so bad.

Susan Miller: My name is Dr. Sue Miller. I am 51 years old, and I have had long Covid since my only Covid infection, which was in May of 2022. So I was sick for about 2 weeks. I had a lot of GI symptoms. I had a fever, a terrible sore throat, and I had hallucinations.

After that, my energy level never recovered. I was having headaches and terrible fatigue, and I would forget things. I was a practicing neonatologist at a community hospital, and the thing I noticed when I went back to work was that I couldn’t multitask. And my job is one big multitask.

Tiffany Brown: I started to feel so ill that I went back to the doctor, and I wasn’t getting any results. The doctor took blood work, would always tell me basically, “That’s a lot of symptoms, and it doesn’t sound like you actually have a specific illness.” I felt that they implied many a times a lot of it may be in your head, and they would tell me something like, “You could lose weight, you could eat better, you could start exercising.” And I walked daily for years, and after having Covid, I could not do that. I still can’t.

Susan Miller: I was an extremely high-functioning, athletic, smart, overachieving person. So I would take call for 24 hours, I’d go home and run six miles, cooked my family dinner, walked the dogs, read books, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t do any of that. And it was scary.

Tiffany Brown: I realized that I wasn’t getting any better, and I went to a bigger hospital out of state and had a full interview and many tests done, and I was told I had Covid long-haulers. I had never heard of the Covid long-haulers before, and it was very, very helpful and some relief to know there was a name to what I had and that it wasn’t just in my head.

Susan Miller: One night on call, I was called to see just kind of a routine check of a baby, and I left my call room, and I forgot my glasses, my ID badge — so I couldn’t get back into the call room — and my stethoscope, and I walked out and I got lost a little bit. And it was that moment that I knew I just, I couldn’t take that chance. I took an oath of do no harm. My whole life, I wanted to be a physician. I was at the peak of my career, and I lost all of that because of a virus.

Tiffany Brown: I no longer have my job. I worked for 27 years for the county that I live in, and when I was off work, I was told if I didn’t come back in a certain time, I would be relieved, and they did so. And I had been there so long and knew so many people that it just felt like I had lost friends and family that I would never get back.

Susan Miller: I saw my internist. She ordered a bunch of basic labs and an MRI of my brain, and all of that came back normal. She had no idea what was going on with me. She said that there’s nothing that she can do. All she could offer me was a hug. And now, 2 years later, I realize that that’s really common. Most doctors, they don’t know anything about long Covid.

Tiffany Brown: It was hard, very hard, because most people look at you and you look like you’re OK. They don’t see your pain. So it was very disheartening.

Susan Miller: I had been on a waiting list for a year and a half, and I saw a new neurologist. He was reading my MRI. I had asked him a pointed question about my hippocampus because they’re both small. One’s smaller than the other, and that’s abnormal. They shrunk. They have atrophy. And so I said to him, “Well, this is something that is seen with long Covid,” and he said to me, “Yeah, you probably know more about that than I do.” So me, the brain-injured neonatologist, knows more about how long Covid affects the brain than the neurologist, who is a specialist in the brain. So I called and reached out to every long Covid clinic. I basically just tried to get in anywhere I could.

Tiffany Brown: After I was diagnosed with Covid long-haulers, I applied for the state disability, and I got rejected. No long information, just that “We don’t feel you’re disabled at this time.” Susan Miller: So what I found at the long Covid clinic is that from a psychological standpoint, I have huge validation and a lot of support. What I did not find is that there were actual experts there on this postinfectious syndrome that I have. We can’t tell you why some days your fatigue is so bad that you just have to lay around all day. We can’t tell you why you get bruises in weird spots. We can’t tell you why your toes turn blue all of a sudden. And we don’t know what to do to make it better.

Tiffany Brown: I took out my retirement to have something to live off of, so I was very frightened, from one minute to the next, if I would not be able to pay my gas and light or keep my home. What are you going to do once your money runs out? And I went and got a disability attorney, and through the attorney, I was able to get disability. I didn’t, at one point, think I would be able to go through it. I just thought I would just give up. And it’s still hard day to day.

Susan Miller: I think the biggest problem is that medical providers are not engaged in long Covid. It’s not on their radar. The amount of money they have put into research for long Covid is like spitting in the ocean. Long Covid needs to be in the discussion, the everyday discussion for physicians, for medical professionals, for researchers, for our government. We need to understand that this is a public health crisis. And it’s not going away for some of us.

Rachel Gotbaum: This is “Intention to Treat” from the New England Journal of Medicine. We’re now joined by two people who helped shape the new National Academies of Science definition for long Covid. Karyn Bishof is president of the Longhauler Advocacy Project, and Dr. Wesley Ely is a professor of medicine and critical care at Vanderbilt University. So Dr. Ely, you’re an ICU doctor, you do research. And at first, you’ve written for NEJM and said that you didn’t really believe long Covid existed. Tell us about your experience with that and how it transformed.

E. Wesley Ely: For 25 years, we’ve been studying survivors after the ICU and diagnosing them with this disease state called postintensive care syndrome, which is an acquired disease of dementia and post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, and muscle and nerve disease. So as an ICU doctor, I’m taking care of all these Covid patients in an ICU setting, on ventilators, immobilized, on high-dose sedatives, and I’m thinking they’re getting out of the ICU, and they just have PICS, postintensive care syndrome, and all these people are talking about these prolonged symptoms. And then we started getting calls into our research center here at Vanderbilt University, and these are people who are telling us, “We have prolonged symptoms. We were never in the hospital. We got Covid and never even got admitted to a hospital.” So now we have a new set of people coming to us, saying, “We can’t think well. We have blood-pressure problems. We have heart rates that are through the roof. We have GI problems, all kinds of joint problems — I mean, this whole constellation that we now know of as long Covid over 200 symptoms — and we were never put in a hospital at all. What can you do for us? What is this?”

And so I had to start thinking to myself, “Wes, you need education. You need to learn. And most importantly, you need to listen to these people.” And as a medical insider, we are taught to not diagnose something unless we understand what it is, to not label something unless we understand what it is. And when we don’t understand something, we feel uncomfortable. And that’s the way I felt. I felt like, for example, part of the disease of long Covid has a lot to do with the symptoms of myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome, and that ME/CFS is a disease state that many people don’t believe of in Western medicine. There’s no diagnostic test, there’s no treatment, isn’t even real, and many doctors label such patients as psychosomatic or having psychological illness and suggest that they go get psychiatric help, and it’s all stress related. So that’s where I was coming from as a physician. Am I willing to lay down my diagnosis and call it a real thing and have other doctors in my circles say, “Wes, are you losing it? Do you actually believe this stuff?,” and in the end of the day, I fell heavily on the side of, “Yes, I believe in this. And call me a quack, but I think we’re going to prove that this is a real disease state, and we’ve got a lot to learn from the patients and about the science.”

Rachel Gotbaum: Karyn Bishof, you were a firefighter and a paramedic when you got Covid and then became disabled with long Covid. Tell us about your experience and how you found this community and started to do advocacy.

Karyn Bishof: It started to become evident to me that I wasn’t recovering as much as my coworkers and something wasn’t quite right. I ended up losing my dream career as a firefighter paramedic because of these health issues, and really early on there was no information. I literally went online and Googled “prolonged symptoms from Covid,” and that is how I found the article, talking about long Covid for the first time. That’s how I found an online community of other patients. Up until that point, I thought I was completely alone. There was nothing about this on the news, nothing about this in the media. This was the first time hearing about it, after 3 months of being completely isolated with all of these new symptoms and health conditions that nobody understood. And seeing all the stories from patients like myself, like people being unable to work, people experiencing symptoms that are not being talked about on the news. We now know that there’s 200 symptoms, as Wes already stated. And part of that picture is that umbrella picture of long Covid, which none of us really recognized and knew how large that umbrella was at the time.

I started doing these patient surveys, saying, “What symptoms are you developing? What conditions have you developed? What clinicians are you seeing that may be helping? Have you lost your job? What are your employers saying?” And seeing the responses from so many people across the globe, coming together, trying to figure out what is going on with us, and what can we do to raise the alarm bells for the public and for clinicians and researchers to start helping us and prevent others from becoming like us. And I started to form the Covid-19 Longhauler Advocacy Project. And to date, we’ve now grown to 60 chapters across the U.S., in every U.S. state and territory, and we have chapters for pregnancy and family planning, teens, BIPOC, LGBTQ, caregivers, labor force union, bereavement, and more, because we find that our role is really identifying the gaps and our needs and bringing that to the stakeholders who make the decisions and who can implement the changes that we need.

Rachel Gotbaum: Do we know how many people have long Covid?

E. Wesley Ely: There are fairly good data to say that at least 6% of people who get Covid end up with long Covid. That still translates, by the way, into globally over a hundred million people, and in the United States, 15 to 20 million people. I think that qualifies as a public health disaster right there.

Rachel Gotbaum: So let’s talk about what’s happening, because we’ve talked about 2020, but this is more than 4 years later, and we finally have a definition. What is happening for patients? Karyn Bishof: I think one of the biggest barriers that we still face all comes down to the foundation of education around long Covid. And many in the patient community are still facing these barriers and the stigma from providers who can’t imagine that a virus is causing all of these issues, or think that there has to be something wrong, or there’s comorbidities, or preexisting conditions in these patients, and that’s why they’re developing long Covid. But as the 2024 NASEM long Covid definition points out, anybody can get long Covid, regardless of demographics, regardless of you’re an adult, regardless if you’re a pediatric, regardless if you have prior health conditions. And I think that’s one of the things that has been overlooked during the pandemic as a whole. E. Wesley Ely: I think that what’s happening is that we’ve got millions of people suffering from a disease state, who have either never been acknowledged to have that disease state by a medical professional or have been acknowledged and are getting grave difficulties at finding any real help from the disability and income perspective. So most of these patients who have a severe, progressive form of this, or even a moderate form of this, have lost their livelihood, have lost their ability to make money, they’re disabled, and many of them in our support groups, for example, come to us and say, “OK, I’ve now lost my housing,” and that really puts people in a state of despair. So it’s a public health nightmare, quite frankly. And the public health nightmare is that we have not met these people where they are to help them find Social Security disability income, we have not helped them find the medical needs that they need because doctors haven’t yet, without a definition, felt comfortable making this diagnosis. But we hope that this 2024 NASEM definition will allow the doors to be opened for both medical professionals and the public at large to find a way forward.

Rachel Gotbaum: So Karyn Bishof, the lack of an understanding of this condition has created major barriers for patients to get help.

Karyn Bishof: In terms of the barriers that long Covid patients are facing, when many patients are seeking benefits like Social Security disability, or food assistance, or Medicaid, or housing assistance, they have to rely on a doctor’s documentation of how their illness impacts their activities of daily living, how it impacts their ability to work, how it impacts their ability to attend school. And many of these patients can’t even get that initial documentation from their providers to do that. So in education, I mean, educating not only the patient community, but the very clinicians who are responsible for identifying long Covid in the first place. And the same thing goes for payers and insurance. Many of the medications that we need are not approved for long Covid. Long Covid has no approved treatments, no cure, no anything. So patients are having to also get the diagnoses for, say, conditions like POTS in order to get beta-blockers, or conditions like MCAS in order to get needed medications, and access to many of those specialists are few and far between. So access to clinical care and the type of clinicians needed to get the documentation we have to address in order for the long Covid community to move forward and recover.

Rachel Gotbaum: So how do you think we got here with this lack of attention to this problem?

E. Wesley Ely: I think we are where we are in terms of the societal unacceptance of long Covid and the medical community’s essential unacceptance of long Covid — broad-sweeping brush strokes here — because this pandemic occurred, it threw us all for such a loop, it scared everybody dramatically, we had millions of deaths, and we all want it to be over. We want to forget about this and move on with our lives. And the last thing we want to hear, as a society, is that there is an infection-associated chronic condition resulting from this virus that doesn’t go away for people years later. But honestly, everybody I’ve asked, “Have you ever heard of long Covid?,” they all say, “Oh, yeah, my cousin has it,” “Oh, yeah, my best friend has it.” Everybody seems to know somebody who has long Covid, and yet the government and medical community is not talking about this very broadly. One of my patients applied four times to Social Security, got rejected every time. She has a medical diagnosis of long Covid. She has all the chart documentation that you could ask for. And yet she can’t get the help that she needs. We’re just way behind on acknowledging the realities of this public health disaster.

Rachel Gotbaum: So Karyn Bishof, what is it like for you today? How is your functioning now?

Karyn Bishof: Unfortunately, my health continues to worsen since developing Covid. I’ve been diagnosed with lupus, eosinophilic esophagitis, chronic migraine and new daily persistent headache, GI dysmotility, insomnia, and many other things. I mean, my daily medications are well over 15 to this point, and I’ve probably seen over 40 or 50 different clinicians over the last four and a half years. My typical day, unfortunately, starts with hours and hours of nausea and vomiting every single morning and GI upset. It doesn’t matter if I ate the day before or 3 days before. It happens every single day, and absolutely wipes me out. I mean, I spend my day in bed, sometimes make it down to my couch in my living room. But something like attending my son’s soccer game on a weekend means that I have to commit myself to doing absolutely nothing for 3 to 4 days before and 3 to 4 days after in order to just attend a 2-hour event. And at that 2-hour event, in order for me to go, I have a chair that has a leg lift on it, it has a canopy, I have to bring ice packs with me because I’m not able to regulate my temperature, but I also have to hide from the sun because I have lupus. So it is a cascading, vicious circle of trying to manage, and a lot of the times, unfortunately, we’re not able to prevent. We’re more so chasing, chasing, chasing, and we’re always behind the eight ball.

Rachel Gotbaum: So how will this new long Covid definition help improve the lives of people like Karyn Bishof and so many other people living with this disease? E. Wesley Ely: OK, I’ll say three ways that this definition really improves things — clinically, from a research perspective, and from a policy perspective. Doctors can now see a person in an office that they would have listened to their symptoms and said, “Gosh, I don’t know if I should be out on a limb, making this diagnosis, when I don’t even understand what the disease is, or even to call it a disease.” Now, the doctor can hear their patient and say, “Wow, you meet this 2024 NASEM long Covid definition very clearly. You meet the criteria. I’m putting in your chart that you have long Covid.”

Doctors before wouldn’t have done that because they didn’t want to be out on a fringe and be called a quack, OK? So that’s the first thing is clinically. Now the patient also has achieved a great accomplishment, now that they can be believed and be heard. Then second, from a research perspective, doctors like me, physician-scientists, can design randomized control trials with explicit inclusion/exclusion criteria based on this definition, and get the right people in, exclude the wrong people that won’t help to answer a specific research question, and get the public answers about the right therapies for this disease state. And then third, the policymakers can say, “Ah, finally, I get it. That’s what this is? Let’s change the way we determine disability income rights for patients to meet this definition.” So all three of those are huge things we think can be affected by the publishing of this definition.

Karyn Bishof: This definition helps to get everybody on the same page. Now, we have a standardized, consensus definition, that if adopted government-wide and implemented, will help start shaping these programs to benefit the long Covid community. But the most important thing to emphasize is that it’s actually adopted and implemented. Having this definition is a great starting point, but unless these people and these programs begin to implement that, the long Covid community sits and waits in the same position we’re in right now.

Rachel Gotbaum: Thank you both so very much.

Karyn Bishof: Thank you for having us and for raising awareness about long Covid.

E. Wesley Ely: It’s a privilege to be part of this process of discovery and, hopefully, to find patients who are suffering some answers. Rachel Gotbaum: We had help from Associate Editor Cliff Rosen and Producer Brigid McCarthy. Our managing editor is Debra Malina, and our engineer is Adam Straus. Next time, researchers say it may someday be possible to communicate with more patients in a coma or vegetative state than previously thought.

Speaker 6: I think that this indicates that there’s probably a substantial population of people who we see just no evidence of responsiveness at the bedside, and yet something’s going on in there. Rachel Gotbaum: That’s next time on “Intention to Treat” from the New England Journal of Medicine. I’m Rachel Gotbaum.

[fizzingwizard]

I just started House season 4. When it first aired, I was really sad about the departures of Foreman, Chase, and Cameron (the ducklings/cottages, depending which forum you got your House news on lol). Now it probably would be obvious to me that they were primed to come back, but as a teen I thought this was good-bye for realsies.

I also remember that from season 4 on, the quality of the show seemed less to me. Not like it tanked, but... Gotta say, I've already seen every episode I could clearly remember in the first three seasons. I can't remember a single episode in the latter ones, except for character plot points, like Thirteen's Huntington's, Kal Penn's (I forgot his character's name) suicide, Wilson's cancer, House driving his car into Cuddy's house and still getting his job back smh...

So I kinda expect from here on the medicine takes a back seat to character drama. I remember as a teen thinking that House was being reimagined as a soap for housewives, because it turned out a lot of housewives liked the show. I also remember thinking, "But if they already like it, why would you change it. Just because of stereotypes of what housewives like?? 'Oh no, housewives are watching us! We better become the kind of show housewives like'" what??? They are already watching! You don't need to change it! You've hooked your audience!

To be clear, I've never read anything where the writers admitted that so ehhh. But there really was a shift towards drama and focusing on character relationships. There had been plenty of drama before, but boy did it kick up after season three. In particular the show began to make more frequent references to House/Wilson, which was a popular ship along with House/Cuddy and House/Cameron, but not taken at all seriously because this was before 2010 and most Americans were still casually, if not outright, homophobic, and gay stuff was just not "done" on TV unless it was sad and everyone died or it was treated as a big joke. Wow TV changed a lot in ten years...

Anyway House/Wilson was a big joke. I'd say it wasn't as bad as some shows were with their token gay ship. Like it was better than Sherlock. *shrug* It would be hard to say whether the jokes were more homophobic because they were jokes, or progressive because they didn't offend the characters. But yeah House/Wilson fans were considered by other fans to be young horny women or old horny women not getting enough from their husbands. They weren't expected to be normal humans enjoying a dynamic on a show, and they definitely weren't expected to be men (gay or otherwise).

So the show ramped up the romance, the drama, and the confusing gay innuendos. Not saying it got bad. It just changed. I really can't remember any medical case at all that didn't directly affect a member of the main cast.

It'll be interesting to see if I feel the same way now that I'm starting season 4 again. But I gotta say, after watching the first couple episodes, it's so, so funny to me how bad the acting is when House starts the competition. The competition angle I think is very funny! But I guess what happens is you now have a huge cast and so everyone can only get one-liners that need to express everything about them, and their screen time is so low that if you're meant to be annoyed for just one scene, as far as the audience knows you're always this annoyed lol.

The one that gets me the most is Thirteen's introduction. First it's just like Olivia Wilde sitting with the contestants. Not that gorgeous women can't be doctors but like... that's Olivia Wilde. Just. Sitting there. buhahaha. And then she's in the OR and another contestant asks her name you know a totally normal question for one colleague to ask another. and in this very tired, put-upon sounding tone she replies "call me Thirteen" because that's her contestant number and she doesn't want to "get attached."

But can you imagine that in real life? "What's your name" "(sigh, not this question again) Just call me Thirteen" x'DDD Like maybe when you're in jr high and trying to be ~*special*~ you might do that, and a few years later realize how cringy it was and start going by Jessica again if you haven't already. This isn't about her using an unusual nickname though. I've had a few friends with unusual nicknames that they got by normally. It's about the personal tragedy and deep resistance to getting close that calling herself "Thirteen" among her colleagues is supposed to represent. IIRC, patients and non-diagnostics team members do call her by her real name. So this is nooot about nicknames. It's about the writers pitching ideas back and forth and someone suggesting with a straight face "What if there was a dying doctor who is really out of this world gorgeous and bisexual and distant because she's got Huntington's and only goes by Thirteen, you know, the unlucky number???" lol

[cringe--is--dead]

Hiya scarlet darling! Hope you’re doing well and that the weather is just how you like it (since everyone’s got a different favorite kinda weather) I’m here for a matchup if that’s alright! Please and thank you uwu)/

About me hmmm I’m always running around doing something whether it’s working or finding another hobby (that i have way too many of) I’m really relaxed (despite the chaotic schedule) and easy going and I love to take care of people!

Hobbies-wise I like to travel the most but baking and gardening are close seconds! Special interests are animals probably? I know a ton about them and tons of fun facts. Also I could talk about baking, eating, food for days and days.

I have a cat that is so clingy I could throw him and he’d shoot back like a boomerang lol. My style is girly and colorful i guess? and anything sparkly is good! a wonderful mix of cute but comfortable so there’s gotta be pockets on everything. I love a good overall too but…😩 im getting off track

I actually love period pieces like bridgerton or the gilded age and old black and white movies are so fun! I love fantasy too especially in books (i read TONS) and theres a movie called stardust that’s also a book? One of my all time favs. But old 80’s movies with the special effects are also delightful for me (and another special interest i forgot.)

important stuff ahh I’m affectionate with the people i love but when people show it back i get all flustered about it I’m like what do mean you love me 🫣 how bold despite clinging to them and gushing praises at them on the regular. I do end up blushing a lot even just when I get excited talking about what I like and I don’t come up for air while chatting a mile a minute. I love spending time with the people I care about to the point where I’ll drag them everywhere with me if im able to. I also tend to worry about them quite a lot even when there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m a little airheaded and daydream-y when I’m not busy doing something. Thats probably the only time I’m quiet tbh

SORRY IF I WROTE TOO MUCH I hope something in it was helpful ヽ(；▽；)ノ anyways I love you you’re the sweetest!!!<3 have a seriously awesome day!

NEVER APOLOGISE FOR WRITING! There can never be too much! (*＾▽＾)／

Also Stardust? Literally changed my life when I first watched it! Amazing movie! Never read the book but I'm adding that to my list!

MOVING ON!

I match you... with Umemiya!

The gardening hobby definitely caught my attention, but there are other reasons! Umemiya strikes me as the type of guy who takes care of everyone first before even thinking about himself, so having someone who cares for others means he has someone who will care for him! Making sure he rests, making sure he takes his glasses off before he sleeps, helping him in the garden, helping him style his hair, etc. All the little things you do to help him has his heart fluttering!

He loves hearing you talk about animals, even listens about different birds in the area and what their diets are, researches different veggies and seeds to add to the garden to try and get more birds visiting so you can see them!

Plus someone who loves cooking? He sends you home with fresh veggies almost weekly! You're saving money whenever you go grocery shopping, and if you bring him bentos with that food he eats it all! He brags about it to everyone too!

He would love your cat, but he would also have silent stare-downs with said cat for your affection. He goes to lay his head in your lap, but your cat's already there. Now they're silently staring at each other, neither blinking. You have to adjust both of these big babies to cuddle both of them.

I also can see you getting him to watch Bridgeton with you, and he is SO enthralled! You have nights where you eat snacks and binge episodes, he plays the soundtrack when on the roof tending to the garden. You created a monster, that's what you've done!

Ume also would love someone as clingy as he is, and even more so if he can fluster you while the affection happens! He gives me cute aggression energy, so if you're blushing whenever he proclaims he loves you or you two share a kiss, expect to have your cheeks squished between his hands.

I hope you enjoyed this! HAVE A GREAT DAY!