#i guess people act like this with movie sonic because of his personality?

[sonknuxadow]

its kinda strange to me how people act like movie sonic is a little kid compared to other versions of sonic and have the other sonics like. baby him. in crossover stuff. yeah movie sonic is a little guy hes like 13-14. but most other sonics are 15 so theyre also little guys and theres really not a big age gap here. and they also have friends who are younger than them that they dont treat like that. so idk why they would be acting like movie sonic is a little 5 year old if they ever met him

[magicstormfrostfire]

Something that confuses me a lot is some people's reactions/analysis to Sonic saving Shadow in the void in Sonic Prime.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE it, and its parallels to what happened in SA2. That is incredible. But what confuses me is that a lot of people assume that in this show, SA2 happened and Sonic is losing Shadow again.

But I don't think that's the case...? I know it was said that the show follows modern games/everything is canon, but I dont think that means what some people think it means. I've seen some people criticize this interpretation of Sonic BECAUSE they think all of the games happened in this universe.

What I understood is that this is simply using the current ongoing personalities/traits/styles of the modern Sonic characters in games, but this is NOT the same universe. Its a different one. The direction they are going with the characters in Sonic Prime is writing them closer to their mainline game counterparts, just in a different universal setting. The universe is just not as drastic of a difference as say, Movie!Sonic or Sonic Boom's universe. (Which i think is why they made a point to say its following mainline Sonic; because Boom is a universe with its own games, Sonic, and canon as well.)

This is also why I think so many people judge Sonic Prime on what Sonic should know, how he should act, and what he should have learned from. But this is a different universe Sonic! He's a lot more naive and learning to get around. Its why I interpeted that Sonic catching Shadow was not ptsd of losing him again, it was fear of losing him period. This is very likely this Sonic's first world-saving scenario; he's use to just stopping Eggman's latest 'Robot of the week'. He is out of his depth with the shatterverse situation.

Now, I think its totally fair if this kind of 'new & naive' direction with Sonic's character turns people off, or if they dislike/hate it. This is not me trying to pursuade people into liking it if they don't. This is not me saying 'hey if you dislike this, its prolly because you're interpreting it wrong and if you see it this way you will like it.' But I constantly see people criticize the show for not taking into account things that happened in games. Or in this case, praising it for taking account events in the games. Those things didnt happen here! This is a different Sonic!

Of course, I could absolutely be wrong, and if I am, that's fine. But honestly it feels like they're making a different Sonic altogether, and frankly it wouldnt make sense for this to be the exact same Sonic.

So I guess my overall point is that I kind of feel like Prime is being saddled with game expectations it literally cannot meet, via being a different universe. Like I said, hate it, love it, idc I'm not your mom. I just think that this needs to be said and added to the conversation.

('Everything is canon' means 'every interpretation is valid'. Sonic has different universes, so its a lot more validating to fans to say everything happened, instead of alienating entire swathes of fans who all experienced Sonic differently through different media, by saying their experience isn't 'real' or 'true' anymore. And I think the more people realize this, the less people will argue 'evidence XYZ in game and this comic and the Japanese version of this podcast, and this game dev, and this episode, and this writer contradict your theory of Sonic hugging people' you do not need canon as gospel to validate why you like or dislike a certain take.)

Sonic in general is so fun because of how freeform and multiverse and endless it is. We haven't had that in a long time. There are things I love and things I hate, but not because of how closely they follow mainline. Its because I just like or hate it. We should cultivate this new growth and diversity, not prune it to fit into one shape. 🌱

[samobservessonic]

Anyway, you all like Sonic vs Knuckles? Because we’re right back into that!

The force field also makes a comeback, along with the promised explanation about how it works. Again, I don’t remember it being used much later on, but it’s something else in Sonic’s arsenal

Sonic can also spin attack. Stick around and I’ll tell you more Sonic facts lol

But Knuckles isn’t fighting to see who’s the best between them. In his own mind, he’s trying to protect the emeralds from a thief and in true Sonic 3 style, he jumps on a switch to turn the island itself against Sonic

Knuckles and Robotnik make their escape, after which, Sonic reveals that he was only pretending to be trapped. I also like the confirmation that Tails and Porker talk about how messed up Sonic is off-screen lol

Oh, and Tails’s smile on that last panel looks so cute! He’s happy!

It probably isn’t too surprising to hear that Sonic’s reasoning is to give them a chance to catch Robotnik off-guard in whatever he’s up to here

The Temple of Chaos is a pretty important location in StC. We’re going to be seeing it on most visits to the Floating Island from now on

And it looks like I got it wrong last time when I said the multiple copies of the Chaos Emeralds thing has been brushed under the rug in a quiet retcon. Instead, they’re going with saying that there were seven emeralds, but six of them split into twelve and now they’re going to combine those twelve back into six by using a device Robotnik has, which acts similar to the Grey Emerald. In StC, the Grey Emerald is always going to be a bit more important than the others and is known as the Control Emerald, if I remember rightly. It’s also the reason that, to this day, when a Sonic game directly calls it the White Emerald (like Sonic Frontiers does), I still think of it in my head as being the Grey Emerald

It’s all a lot more convoluted than it needs to be, but the short answer is that from when this story finishes we’ll now have the correct amount of Chaos Emeralds for the rest of the comic. Which is a lot faster than Archie sorted that mess out

After getting the emeralds back together, Robotnik does exactly what everyone except Knuckles expected that he’d do and turns traitor. I do like that in this version he’s just absorbing the power into himself, instead of using it to power a big robot. Jimbotnik did that in the second movie too, but he did also pair it with powering a giant robot. StC Robotnik is like “All for me!”

Sonic is being his usual British self about Tails being turned to glass. I do like that they’re showing the power of the emeralds doing something though, even if it’s just for these two panels (Tails is fine in the next panel)

Hey, so it turns out this Knuckles isn’t gullible after all! He was lying about not having the Grey Emerald and now he can use it to neutralise the rest of the emeralds and depower Robotnik. You probably guessed this already, but I’m showing so much of these panels because I think they look so cool

He’s not dead, he’s just not Knuckles’s problem now

Knuckles explains that he wasn’t tricked, before refusing to leave the island to join the Freedom Fighters. Which I’m sure is a bit of a shame to Sonic, who seemed to instantly like Knuckles, even when they were on opposite sides. But Knuckles has his own reasons, which I guess don’t presently include the Master Emerald, which I only just noticed is absent. It does appear later, so I assume that’ll happen once Sonic & Knuckles comes out. Even if StC has already correctly concluded this story by saying that Knuckles would come around to Sonic’s side, but not join his team

Did you know that Knuckles was waiting for his people to return from the stars? Well, that’s StC’s best guess on it. In what I personally feel is the better course of action, StC remains very hands-off about Knuckles’s origin after this. We get one other echidna dude called Dr. Zachary turn up later on, who I assume most of you have probably heard of already (if not, then he’s the first of the white evil echidna guys, with Dr. Finitevus turning up in Archie a decade later and Imperator Ix in Sonic Chronicles after that) and then I don’t think they mention it at all until the Sonic Adventure arc at the end of the comic, when they suddenly have an excuse to talk about it a lot

Sonic and Tails head out with some sympathy for Knuckles being stuck here alone, even if he seems fine about it. But Sonic correctly assumes that they haven’t seen the last of Knuckles, as he’ll be coming back a lot in future. StC might not give him a massive sci-fi echidna family, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t have a lot of stories for Knuckles in store

…And that’s the Knuckles arc! At least for now. I haven’t looked ahead, so I don’t know if Knuckles is back in the very next issue for Robotnik’s Revenge, but these last four issues (excluding the poster mag) seem to have covered the entire Knuckles introduction and it’s been great! The art’s been amazing, all the fight scenes are fun to look at, we’ve got the beginnings of Porker’s character development and honestly, I just like that this version gave Knuckles a bit more agency. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the gullible portrayals of Knuckles as well, but I like that he was keeping his cards to his chest and letting Robotnik show him if he was trustworthy or not

I’d say this arc was on par with the Sonic CD arc and that both of them were strong game adaptations, so I look forward to seeing more. I know we definitely get one for Sonic 3D of all games, but we’ll cross that bridge later

[nagichi-boop]

My thoughts on the Knuckles series

I want to preface this by saying that if you haven't watched the series yourself and have the means to do so, I suggest watching it yourself and forming your own opinions on the series. The episodes are about 25-30 mins long, so it should take about 3 hours. But if you'd rather give the show a pass, I understand, especially given that so many people have given rather mixed reviews on the series. I don't think I have much to say that hasn't already been said, but I thought I'd share my personal thoughts on the series.

I will be discussing spoilers in this post, though I won't be breaking apart the plot per se. I just want to discuss some thoughts on the series, good and bad, since I know some people have been very harsh on this series. And as a disclaimer, these are personal opinions rather than outright critiques.

For a tldr rating though, I'd give the series like...6.5/10?

Things I Liked

I really enjoyed the plot of the first episode or so. The scenes with the Wachoski family was probably some of my favourites for the series, even if only brief. I wasn't sure that they would include the other characters, so it was nice to see most of them. I wasn't super keen on the GUN agents necessarily, but I thought their story parts were the most enjoyable. I enjoyed watching Wade scheme to save him and immediately fumble the bag, but ultimately sort of recreate his plan? I also appreciated him using the siracha to free himself from the GUN agent since it was starting to wear a little that he seemed utterly incompetent - more on that later.

I once again appreciate the references to the Sonic universe. I only really noticed the Knuckles hat (which if I'm not mistaken is a reference to the OVA cartoon?), but I also saw someone mention Sonic 06 before watching it, which helped me recognise the reference to the game (both Knuckles' power and the creature that I assumed to be Iblis). I also saw a Reddit post pointing out that the alien attack mentioned by the bowling tournament announcers took place 50 years ago, which could be a reference towards Shadow, but it's not outright stated to be that.

The animation was surprisingly good. Part of me thought the animation quality would be off, but it was more or less on par with the movies from what I could see. Some scenes were a little off, but I can't really fault it since they're trying to incorporate an entirely CGI creature interacting with everything, but for the most part it was awesome.

Things I Didn't Like

I think one of my bigger issues with this series was the humour. That's not to say I didn't find it funny, but the constant surreal/cringe humour eventually wears on you. It worked at the beginning because Knuckles and Wade alternated being the 'straight-man', but for the most part, the characters fell into the same 'I'm dumb' type of humour. I don't quite know how to explain what I mean by this, so I guess I'll give a few examples to illustrate what I mean.

There's Knuckles himself, whose 'stupidity' mostly comes from him not fully grasping human culture. There's also Wade Whipple, who is portrayed as an idiot or loser, something he's called by the other characters. There's Jack Sinclair who acts intimidating while still being dumb behind his seriousness, and was the kind of character that seems threatening until they're dethroned, by which time they start wailing like a baby. We see this mostly when Wade is captured and 'duels' with him, only for him to lose and plead with Wade not to take his clothes this sounds really sus out of context. I didn't particularly care for him, which made some scenes drag as Wade's story with him was being addressed, but he's more of a stepping stone character for Wade's development.

I thought Knuckles and Wade themselves were funny for the most part, but it does begin to grate a little when their goofy humour is pretty much all you get. I get that Wade is the underdog guy, but it didn't feel much like he actually grew as a person. I thought perhaps he would learn to be more self-reliant and competent, but even at the end of the series, he mostly just stalled for Knuckles. This sort of ties into the complaint a lot of people have that the series focused less on Knuckles and more on Wade, which I agree with. It was set up at the start that Knuckles was looking to find his home and purpose, but it didn't feel like that was fully explored. It was sort of implied at the end that the Whipple's were his home, but it felt like a lose end more than a solid conclusion. I also wouldn't have minded if Knuckles actually spent time training Wade, but that didn't really happen either. Most of Wade's 'development' happened away from Knuckles, which made Knuckles feel more like a bit character a lot of the time.

And then there's Wanda Whipple. I'll be honest, I really disliked her character. For the first few minutes it was fine, but the entire scene with the Whipple family dinner just felt awkward and annoying to me. It felt like I was watching two children argue, which I suppose was the point, but watching a grown woman act like a child was just uncomfortable and felt like it was dragged out for ages. I think the only scene I found her funny in was towards the end when she dislocated her thumb, but that was about it. Every other scene she was in felt unenjoyable for me, and frankly I hope she's not in the third movie at all (or if she is, please make it short).

I suppose I could sum this complain up as there being too many comedic relief characters without there being straight-man characters to balance out the chaos. The beginning worked well because Sonic, Tails and Maddie worked as straight-men for Knuckles, so it was funny to watch him be a menace since we could see everyone else's reactions. But for the rest of the series, it was mostly just silly humour. Even the 'adult' jokes weren't particularly funny to me (thinking specifically about the metal detector scene), but maybe I'm just not the right demographic for this kind of series? Who knows.

I watched the series with my dad, and I agree with his thoughts on the series. He felt it could have been done in a movie instead of having a tv series that seemed to drag on a lot. I do agree that some scenes felt like they were going on for too long, which at times felt like I wasn't even watching a Sonic series at all. I guess they want to flesh out the characters unique to the movie universe, but it felt a bit weird to have Knuckles barely involved in the plot given the series was named after him.

It's unfortunate because I think that they initially set up something interesting. I thought they'd focus on the GUN agents pursuing Knuckles, with Knuckles training Wade along the way. But the GUN story got shelved almost immediately to focus more on the bowling stuff - Wade and Jack had an awkward sword dual, and Wade had a bowling match with his dad? I honestly thought The Buyer (that ex GUN weapons guy) would be Wade's dad, but instead we randomly got introduced to Pistol Pete...I dunno, it felt weird to me. It felt like they mashed three unfinished stories together into one weird amalgamation.

I feel like they could have focused more on the GUN agents plot. Perhaps they could have clashed a few times with Knuckles and Wade, but ultimately fail over and over. Wade would have learned indirectly from his warrior training to be strong enough to defeat Jack at bowling and show his progression. The GUN agents would be replaced by The Buyer after he grows tired of waiting for them to fulfil their deal, and who would be more of a threat. While that's happening in the background, we could watch the bowling tournament with Jack losing instead, then have The Buyer crash the party like he did in the actual series. But this is all just me brainstorming what I would have done.

Anyways, those are my thoughts. It's a shame since I love the Sonic movies a lot, but I'm not too worried about Sonic 3 based on this series. Jeff Fowler (the writer for the movies) only wrote the first episode of the series, which was arguably the best episode, so I am confident that Sonic 3 will be good. Admittedly it has me a little worried, but I'm trusting them to do Shadow justice with his debut.

Sorry this is such a long rambly post, but hopefully it's cohesive enough to follow for anyone actually reading it.

[queenseneca]

Oh GOD this was a disappointment. And yeah, spoilers or whatever. I don't really care.

Get it out of the way, this was not the Knuckles show, this was the Wade show. Too much Wade. Too much. Way too much. It's annoying. Look, I liked him in the movies, he did a good job there because he wasn't the main focal point, and in the first couple episodes I could excuse how he acted.

But no. OH NO. After episode two, he just got so bad. Taking the spotlight from, frankly, the MUCH better character. Episode one set a perfect precedent for how the series could have gone. But nope. They threw it all away.

Then by episode five, they've literally made Knuckles a side character. In the show that's NAMED AFTER HIM. Oi vey.

This really should have just been named Wade. But no, if they named it that, it wouldn't get the people watching it. Because no-one likes Wade. He's a side character; keep him as such. He went from ok in he movies, to tolerable in the first two episodes, then 3-6 he became full on egotistical.

I wish Knuckles had been the main character. I wish he'd been given the spotlight. I was so looking forward to it. I was looking forward to watching something about him, learning about him and how he interacts with the world, how he comes to terms with his inevitable home in Green Hills. I wish he'd had more interactions with Sonic and Tails. But they're thrown out after episode ONE. After that, it's random unimportant person after random unimportant person. Seriously think this show had been written and voiced by AI. Because it's just that bad.

And I haven't even gotten to the lackluster villains. I know they're supposed to be important and everything, raise the stakes, but they're really not. Just generic "bad British woman and coloured man to show diverse cast". I mean, they literally tossed a man, who was white and blonde, into the Mushroom planet with no reason whatsoever than political stuff, I'm sure. And they tarnish the good name that Jim Carrey made playing as Robotnik. Even if he isn't in the show (thank god), they treat him like he's nothing more than a commodity, someone to link to every bad thing that G. U. N does.

Oh yeah, haven't mentioned that yet. They're using THAT G. U. N. Y'know, the one that's supposed to be super powerful and secretive that, for hopes of Sonic fans, will be treated with respect in the 3rd movie? The one that offed Maria Robotnik and drove Gerald crazy and started Shadow's entire character arc? That G. U. N. They aren't even given that much screen time. Two episodes, then they're tossed away until episode five. And the woman is all "oh woa is me, I wasn't listened to because I'm a woman and the place I work for is misogynistic and I was given a desk job to keep me safe waaa"

And the ending. Oh boy. Ok, to put it in simple terms, I'd call the ending of season one (and hopefully the series), stupid. For 6 episodes, they had a chance to grow genuine chemistry between Wade and Knuckles, to give them a chance to get along. To give them a reason. And you'd think with a series like Sonic whose games are rife with dark and mature themes, they'd explore it. But nope. It's just the first movie, remade with Knuckles and Wade, but done so much worse. The Jewish stuff wasn't important. The dad abandonment wasn't needed. It's important to Knux, I know, but Wade didn't have to have it too just to find a way to relate.

And guess what? His dad is another white blonde man! Because they're just the devil in the media these days! I'd say he's British too but it doesn't contribute to the story. He's treated like a narcissist, an uppity person (like apparently all people are when they're repeat winners in a certain sport or game). god forbid a man be proud of himself.

They also did that one scene from the Sonic movie where they faked Knuckles' death, and Wade made an attempt to stand up but failed because he's a useless character. Then he said some stupid crap that he apparently "learned", even though he really didn't.

Shit like this makes me wish that the movies didn't exist.

0/10, don't recommend.

Please, for the sake of your sanity, don't watch this. Or if you do, have a pallet cleanser handy. (The jokes are awful, you'll definitely need it)

And for the comments that'll say it's for kids, the characters use a huge amount of swear words, so that rebuttal holds no ground.

[ben-talks-art]

Let's talk about entitlement

A couple of weeks ago I discovered that a voice actor from my country, an incredibly popular figure that is known for voicing super big roles such as Superman, Samurai Jack, Optimus Prime, Coop from Megas XLR (my favorite dub from the dude btw, he absolutely kills it!), and also acting as the voice for many popular actors such as Jim Carrey, was cast to play the role of Future Devil in the Brazillian dub of Chainsaw Man.

Now... I myself have not watched anything dubbed in my home country in eons, in fact, the Puss in Boots 2 movie was the first time in a while where I saw any form of media dubbed with Brazillian voice actors, if only because I wanted to see this thing as soon as possible so I just rushed to the nearest cinema I could find, and sadly Brazillian cinema doesn't show animated movies in their original dub...

So anyway, I wasn't exactly going "OMG!! Superman is gonna voice the "the future rules!" guy!!!" or anything like that. I was mostly just going "Oh, neat!", but after watching Puss I was kinda curious to find out how the whole Brazilian Future Devil thing went and... Ugh...

Apparently, the voice actor got a lot of hate on Twitter because they didn't adapt the line from the manga in the same way it was done by the fan translations... I repeat, people got angry at the actor because the line was different from the FAN TRANSLATIONS! And he received so much backlash from the watchers that he decided to drop out of the show and thus won't be returning for a future season.

Cool...

So... Let's talk about entitlement a little bit

Let's just assume for a moment that there is a girl you really, really like (I'm using "girl" but just replace it with whatever works for you), but she couldn't care less about you, so you try to make yourself look better, more desirable, more "worthy" of her by, let's say... Having a very well-paid job, or being someone who donates a lot to charity, or paying for the surgery of her grandma, or finding the cure for cancer, or ending world hunger... Let's just assume you did everything you could to be considered the most perfect person ever...

You're still not entitled to that girl's affection, appreciation, or even attention if she doesn't want to give you that.

Entitlement is the mentality of "I earned this, so I deserved it!"

But the fact of the matter is, unless you're paying someone for a job, and they agree to it, nobody really owes you anything.

(Although I guess one could argue that you're also owed your parents' support in order to survive since they're the reason you're here at all but... I'm not sure I have enough knowledge to talk about this so casually.)

But long story short, entitlement is this idea that you should have things done in the way you want them to be, just because you convinced yourself that this is how it should be.

I mentioned before in my Makima post that I really don't like this mentality because it works to make people think they have power over something they have nothing to do with.

This happens a lot with fanbases. Sonic, Kingdom Hearts, Chainsaw Man, Star wars... There are so many pieces of media where the public will go "this isn't how I wanted" or even worse "this isn't how it is supposed to go!" as if they were the creators or something.

They use arguments like "I complain because I care!" but in reality, it isn't about caring. This isn't about displaying your love for an IP you care about, it's about you not being able to handle a reality different from what you wanted.

It's basically the premise of the movie "Misery" where this one fan wants to act like she knows the story better than the actual author.

Now... Thinking that you deserve something even though there is nothing that says you technically do aside from your own belief is already bad enough, but it gets even worse when people use it as an excuse to act violently.

Harassing a voice actor and making him give up on his job just because a line was changed is just beyond silly. It's not the fans' duty to tell how a story should be told, same way it isn't right for fans to harass an actor just because they played an unpopular character in a live-action performance like it Happened with Rose in Star Wars, or telling someone they should kill themselves just because they made a joke about an infamous ship in Chainsawman.

It's even weirder in Chainsawman's case because part 2 literally starts with someone getting so much harassment by their classmates that it makes her want to die, which just makes me wonder if people are even trying to pick the messages of the story they are consuming.

Bottom line, entitlement is ugly. It is in my opinion THE ugliest mindset anyone could have.

It makes people perform actions out of selfishness, arrogance, anger, and it only works to spread pain and misery. It makes you look at other people as objects that only exist to satisfy your desires and makes you forget they have feelings and that they can get hurt, all because they happen to want to do something you disagree with.

If someone writes a story in a way you don't like it, you're not entitled to attack that writer. If someone performs the role of a character in a way you don't like it, you're not entitled to attack that actor. And if someone has an opinion about a piece of media that you disagree with, you're not entitled to attack that commenter.

You NEVER have a reason to attack anyone. Trying to put others down just to make yourself look big, ironically, doesn't make you look big! It just makes it look like you don't have enough faith in what you stand for and are too afraid that someone might prove you wrong.

Entitlement and aggressiveness are huge symbols of insecurity, cowardice, and immaturity, because people who truly believe in what they believe in, don't resort to harassment so fast just because a different point of view showed up.

We only attack when we feel threatened, when we feel someone is trying to hurt us or trying to take something important from us.

Attacking should only be reserved for self-defense, or the defense of someone who can't defend themselves (and even then I feel like there is a whole other grey area of debate on how to know who needs and should be defended and from whom, which I really don't feel I have the skills or maturity to properly talk about myself).

A random line on a fan translation of a popular manga that got changed when the official dub came out... Is just not a good enough reason to feel threatened, and not a good enough reason to attack someone, even if it's just an online attack.

We all know the line, "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything!"

Unless someone is asking for your opinion, unless someone is paying you to speak and make a criticism or provide some sort of honest feedback, or unless you're being harassed first, you are NEVER entitled to use your words or body to try to harm someone!

You are free to live your life in any possible way you want, as long as no one is getting hurt from it.

...

At least in my opinion...

I am not a psychologist, or psychiatrist, or a psychic, or any form of expert in the field of the human mind.

These are just my casual thoughts about a... Not so casual topic, but I feel it's important to be talked about nonetheless because I feel not many people seem to realize how big of a problem entitlement really is, and how it seems to be getting worse as the years go by as the media and internet keeps making us feel like we have more power over other people's lives than we actually have.

Just... Try to think twice before you get that sudden urge to want to complain about the way something is or how someone is acting just because you don't agree with it. Think a little about who might be getting hurt from it and if it's truly worth it getting so upset about it.

...

Anyways, this was a downer talk... Anyone seen Puss in Boots 2 yet?

[aquillis-main]

I think...you are misinterpreting my tone. There is no moral high-ground, and I apologize for my coming across that I was making one. Looking back at some of my other asks I can see why you'd think that from the outside looking in. I did come off as cutting, my apologies. This is exactly what I brought up earlier regarding online vs in-person discourse XI.

Even then, I don't see how my saying that your feelings on Robotnik in the first movie were antithetical to your feelings now was in bad faith. I must be misinterpreting something... If I am, that would explain your reaction to me saying that. I would never purposely misinterpret something and then base an argument off of it, trust me. That's lame.

Even then, looking back at your original posts, I really don't see how else to interpret it? :/ With how much animosity you expressed toward Sonic, it really felt like you wanted him to get captured by Robotnik. Especially since you said you didn't see how Robotnik chasing Sonic was wrong. Again, the online tone barrier could be in effect here. If you want, you can re-explain what you meant...or you can block me...since I guess this technically breaks your stipulation?

I can't really block when I answer an ask, anon.

The fact that you misinterpreted the entire asks about Movie!Sonic and my opinions on how the first movie's story was handled as 'him needing to be captured by Robotnik to be experimented on' is why I can't seriously consider you as anything but disingenuous and acting pedantic about people who are seriously clamoring to gruesomely watch Maria die. I've actually made it clear, in multiple posts, that my issues with Sonic in the movie is that the consequences for his actions don't align with how the story tries to portray him.

In the movie, they make Sonic this sad little child that did nothing wrong, looking for a family and be miserable because he didn't have said family... When he technically went against his supposed mentor's warning to not flaunt his power too much, this causing Longclaw to send Sonic off to some other world in order to not be used for his power, sacrificing herself in the process because Sonic thought of his wants more than his situation. Even in the montage of living in Green Hills, Sonic does nothing but cause trouble - Tormenting a crazy guy for the hell of it, possibly stealing people's things from their homes to flesh out his little cave, and (eventually) starting the plot of the movie by causing a blackout so damn big, it shuts down over half of the USA. That type of blackout is the kind of blackout you don't recover from quickly, and it makes sense the movie had the military send out it's top agent Dr. Robotnik - whom, btw, only had the 'crime' of being an asshole to not only his subordinates, but also the people who don't technically have clearance to that point - to try and figure out the situation and get it under control.

On top of that, Sonic is a serial stalker - he watched through Tom and Maddie's window, spied on them doing their daily routine, and had the dumb audacity to believe he could get help from them from the government to escape the actions he pulled. Even guilt-tripped Tom into getting him to San Fran because Sonic had the 'brilliant' idea of opening a Ring gate in Tom's garage, and basically roped Tom to getting the rings back with Sonic. All the bad events that happened in the movie are due to Sonic's actions, and instead of actually looking into this and allowing Sonic to grow into his own character without the humans, the movie brushes it off to make Sonic bond with the guy he manipulated to help.

Instead of reading through my points, thinking 'hey, maybe Aquillis' issues have to do with how the movie was written, and not about Sonic himself', you instead decided to immediately go 'Aquillis hates Movie!Sonic! How dare she!' and started condemning me on a thing you barely bothered to read through, then tried to tie in your feelings about how I 'don't like Movie!Sonic' with the discussion I was currently having - people making jokes about Maria's death affecting Shadow - when they were two completely different points, and the only relation to each other was that I'm talking about the same franchise here.

You did the equivalent of jumping into a canyon without a parachute, then kept hitting weak ledges in order to make me seem like some kind of monster that manipulates people to get them to see the way I want them to see. Instead of asking for a clarification of my opinion in the first place, you put me on the chopping block and wanted me executed, because you already decided I was 'guilty' for not thinking the same as you. I don't see how I wasn't any clearer, considering there's a few posts recently that say 'I don't like the way the movie let's Sonic off without consequences beyond being chased by Eggman'.

Don't let your feelings get in the way of what you're reading, that would be a way to figure out if someone acts like you think they are or not.

[scorpionyx9621]

So I'm not the one who wants to police whether you should like or hate something, but I'm seeing more than a few posts complaining about Jason Todd in the Arkham Knights game. How I don't have a problem with people who don't like Jason's design. It isn't for everyone. However I am seeing more than a few people bashing his voice for being too gravely and not sounding like Jason and I can't stand by and let people do this without knowing the context.

Jason is voiced by Stephen Oyung. Pictured below, he's a very well versed Asian-American actor and voice actor. If you played the Spider-Man PS4 game you might recognize his voice in that Oyung also voiced Mr. Negative.

I'm completely fine if you don't like the character designs. That's fine, but Gotham Knights is so important especially because of the voice actors we have listed thus far. Every single member of the Bat Family with the exception of Bruce is being played by a POC or a mixed-race individual.

Dick is being voiced by Christopher Sean, a mixed Asian American voice actor.

Barbara is being voiced by America Young, a mixed-race Latinx voice actress.

And Tim is being voiced by Sloane Segal. A mixed-Asian actor/voice actor.

For a video game holding as much weight as Gotham Knights, to see the voice cast of the four playable characters all be mixed race or POC is fucking huge. As far as I know this has not happened for a major triple-A video game title. This is monumental and I just can't stand by and let people bash Jason's voice without this context. I know voice actors can change their pitch and their inflections to match a character. I personally thought Oyung was going to go for a much more gravely and deeper take for Jason. Yet I was surprised by how close Oyung was to his actual speaking voice for Jason. Under that context it really upsets me that people are bashing Jason's voice in Gotham Knights.

What I'm trying to get at here is that we shouldn't be attacking these artists or voice actors for their takes on characters. Yes, we have taken outrage at a design and made it loud enough that a studio can hear it and make changes. Look at the Sonic movie for example. Yes we have changed the design for the better but what about the artists and designers who out of the blue have to painstakingly redesign a character and re-animate said character in a tight timeframe. This game has already been pushed back because of the pandemic. With a release date in late October I'm guessing Warner Brother's Montreal is completely finished with the majority of the game's programming and is going through and debugging/testing at this point. I'm sure all the voice lines have been recorded and while it may be easier to do vocal retakes than say change the graphic design of a character, these VA's have already put a tremendous amount of effort into this game.

Let's try to steer away from the hatred of the Voices and the VA's because we truly do have a powerful cast full of POC and mixed-race artists. These people deserve praise for their work and the representation they are bringing to the Voice Acting world and they absolutely should be celebrated as such.

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[kolons-reaper]

Alright. I have VERY little room to talk here as somebody with a Tumblr Audience of like… two people, but bear with me, okay? Because I just can’t stop genuinely fuming over the casting choice(s) in the Mario Movie.

I know it’s the “Topic of the Day(tm)” but I wanted to give my thoughts as somebody with a deep and profound passion for the art of voice acting. They STOLE Mario away from a truly talented man (Charles Martinet I’m so sorry sweetie) and replaced him with CHR*S PR*TT of all people? Anyone with a brain/eyes/common sense can see that this wasn’t because “He’D mAkE a GrEaT mArIo!!!” It’s because he’s the haha funny Marvel dude who basic white teenage boys freak out over no matter how racist and homophobic he continues to be. (Not even to mention that one time he and Jennifer Lawrence blatantly tarnished indigenous Hawaiian land because they thought it was funny??? I guess???)

This isn’t even the FIRST disrespectful blow against veteran voice actors THIS YEAR, either!! Remember the Space Jam 2 trailer? How Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck were both played by “Themselves” but Lola Bunny was SPECIFICALLY Voiced “By Zendaya?” That’s just disrespectful to those old voice actors, man. Nobody should be discredited so thoroughly just so that some execs can put butts in seats.

It’s just a giant domino effect leading all the way back to when Disney put Robin Williams’ name in all the marketing material for Aladdin despite his openly telling them NOT to do exactly that. It’s the same reason today as it was 29 years ago; Profit, Popularity, and PUTTING BUTTS IN SEATS.

I had high hopes for this movie (can you believe it?) because after the Sonic Movie did it so right I was really hopeful that Nintendo/Illumination would put the same love into the Mario Movie but… nope! And Chris Pratt as Mario really says that to me. I couldn’t personally give less of a shit about the rest of the cast, (I have problems with Luigi, for the same reasons I said earlier, but I do think that Jack Black as Bowser is a very inspired and smart choice. I also kinda love Seth Rogan DK? No idea why, it’s just SO BAD that it 360’s around to hilarious.) but casting somebody as the voice of MARIO is a big deal, Y’know? Why not just let the guy who’s been doing it for 26 YEARS do it? Oh right, because he wasn’t Marvel McProtagonist character in ShitFart of the Generic White Dude 69. (Can you tell I don’t like Marvel and how it’s ruined the voice acting industry yet?)

Long story short, Charles Martinet is a genuinely FANTASTIC voice actor who deserves more than just a few “Surprise Cameos” in a movie that he logically should’ve been the star of. In the wise words of somebody else I just saw make a great post about this EXACT topic:

“I hope that you’re looking forward to watching Chris Pratt play Chris Pratt in Blue Overalls, because he’s just going to do the same exact performance that he’s BEEN doing since he started acting. When you want to cast Chris Pratt, it’s not because he’s talented or interesting, it’s because you need a famous white dude with an identical sense of humor to all the other basic white dudes he’s played. He doesn’t ‘Play’ characters. He gets typecast as himself every. Single. TIME.”

I’m genuinely furious about this and will never forgive the casting director for this slight against the voice acting industry. I guess in a few years there won’t be any genuine vocal talent left, just a whole bunch of bland, disinteresting, famous people.

Let’s just hope that Chris “Homophobic Republican Christian” Pratt won’t go strutting around like the world’s most egotistical pigeon and try asserting that Mario “Doesn’t like you if you aren’t straight” or that FUCKJNG

MARIO

Of all characters Is some kind of “Christian Icon” or something like that. Because if that ended up happening I’m gonna go and team up with Charles Martinet and literally beat the living snot out of that Homophobic Prick until he shuts his mouth

I’m so sorry about this I just needed to vent because holy SHIT ILLUMINATION WHAT WERE YOU FUCKING THINKING I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HA

[maxwell-grant]

If there was a Shadow animated series or movie, who would you like to see as voice actors ?

Ooh! Nice question, weirdly I hadn't really thought about this one, usually my casting picks tended more towards live-action even though I generally prefer voice acting.

I can never really come up with a single, definitive answer as to who I'd want to play The Shadow himself. For live-action, I fully second @oldschoolcrimefighters's choice of Oded Fehr, and he's got a great voice for it too (the voice is the most important thing when it comes to The Shadow). Jeremy Irons, if I recall, was supposed to play the character in the 80s when they were kicking around movie projects, and he's DEFINITELY got the right voice for it. Another one that comes to mind is Bill Nighy, based off his role as Rattlesnake Jake (snake-like is a good word to describe how The Shadow should talk). A good choice for a more elderly Shadow would be Charles Dance.

Personally, I'd prefer to cast a less-known actor in the role, because I don't think audiences should be able to recognize or be familiar with The Shadow when he speaks. I wouldn't want people to go "oh it's that guy from this", because it's The Shadow speaking, and no one else. I would prefer to cast someone really obscure, someone with theater and villain experience. So for now, I'm gonna say my number one pick for The Shadow himself would be Ólafur Darri Ólafsson, based off his performances from The Dark Crystal and True Detective. He lacks the venomous hiss that Frank Readick had, but he definitely has a deep, strong and unique voice that can be overpowering in both cruelty as well as warmth, and you definitely want that for The Shadow.

Harry Vincent is a deceptively tough call, because he seems like an everyman character and he kind of is, and usually people don't pay much attention to that, but it's perhaps the most crucial role other than The Shadow himself, because Harry's the guy who's gonna have to carry us into the adventure, he is the main character. For the moment I'm gonna say Ben Schwartz, who really impressed me by achieving the monumental task of making Sonic the Hedgehog genuinely likeable (okay, I joke, I don't actually hate Sonic, but Ben Schwartz is easily my favorite voice the character's ever had). Someone young, strong, spirited, charming, as friendly as The Shadow can be scary, but who can carry the dramatic moments and self-esteem issues Harry has to overcome.

My two picks for Margo Lane in general would be Yael Grobglas, who is one of the main reasons Jane The Virgin was worth watching (the other being Jaime Camill) and Rhea Seehorn, who so far has not gotten the shelf full of Emmys she deserves for KILLING IT in Better Call Saul. Yael is who I think of to play Margo as the high-society chameleon and con woman who crash landed in The Shadow's network, who can be both humorous and cool. Rhea is who I'd cast to play Margo as the fearless and manipulative badass with an enigmatic past who takes no shit from anyone and has a willpower that matches The Shadow's own. I guess it depends ultimately on just how much of a role Margo is going to have.

For Clyde Burke I'm not too decided but for now I'm gonna say Jack DeSena (who voiced Sokka), someone who also sounds young and high-spirited but is more energetic and funny and more of a troublemaker, to make for a contrast with Harry. For Moe Shrevnitz, I'm thinking John DiMaggio. If it was live-action I'd pick John Goodman. Simplest way I can describe the reasoning is: you want someone who's got a good "Ben Grimm" quality to them, because Shrevy does. You want someone who's rough and funny and lovable, like he's gonna get into a fight to save you and then take you out for ice cream.

For Cliff Marsland you want someone who is a bit older than Harry or Clyde, but not that old, someone who's believable as a gangster but also a good, stern friend who's got your back. He might be a little too old for the role but Clancy Brown is the one that comes to mind.For Hawkeye, I'm thinking Tom Kenny. Joe Cardona I'm thinking Steve Blum.

My version of Slade Farrow I imagine being played by John Malkovich or J.K Simmons, purposefully older than all other Agents and The Shadow himself and convincing as both a criminal mastermind as well as the humanitarian friend and mentor he ultimately is.

Haven't really decided one for Shiwan Khan or other characters yet.

[pocolocos]

tag followers you want to know better!

NAME: e.

STAR SIGN: leo

HEIGHT: 5′9″

WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? : wilder (i obviously prefer to go by my middle name online & have done so since i was at least 14. i’m named after my mom’s father (who was named after her grandfather) i never met, so it has significance to me.)

PUT YOUR SPOTIFY (ITUNES) ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP? ;

“all your friends” by the snuts

“jugg (feat. monty)” by fetty wap

“leave the door open” by silk sonic

“medicate” by afi

“sober” by tool

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?: no.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR?: probably before i got into learning how to dance, so a while.

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?: billie eilish & uh... the hozier guy, whatever his name is.

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE? ; people chewing. i cannot eat food in silence with people, i need some kind of background noise.

SOUND YOU LOVE? ; that huffing sound that dogs make when they’re trying to get your attention.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?: yes & no? kind of hard to explain; i don’t really believe in ghosts, more like.. a strong energy that can be left behind depending on the circumstances & whether or not that person would like to leave bits of themselves behind? either way, it is something we might be able to feel, but not something we can interact with.

HOW ABOUT ALIENS?: i don’t really think about it, but i agree with the idea that, as vast as our universe is, it’s statistically impossible for us to be the only intelligent lifeforms in it.

DO YOU DRIVE?: too anxious to learn.

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED?: i’ve been in cars that have been rear-ended and also almost hydroplaned into a lake when i was a kid.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?: “windward heights” by maryse conde (a modernized retelling of wuthering heights) for a literature analysis class.

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? : god, no. it gives me the worst headache if i have to smell it for too long.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW?: i showed my friend “old boy” because watching people react to the ending for the first time is, like, a hobby of mine.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?: durarara & jenshin jimpact

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG?: depends on how those people act towards me afterwards & also what happened. so i guess... sometimes? i usually don’t have the emotional capacity to stay angry for very long, but i can be distrustful & distance myself.

IN A RELATIONSHIP?: nope, nor have i really gone out of my way to try to be in one.

tagged by: several people, but i keep forgetting to do this.

tagging: u

[popculturebuffet]

Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 

But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 

Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here are my personal top five pat gill videos | a 2.1k word long post where i rank and review pat gill’s videos for just way too long.

Right around the tail end of April, 2020, I fell into the rabbit hole of my current obsession; Polygon Dot Com Video Content. As a consequence of this was being introduced to the phenomenon of Pat Gill. A dire consequence of that consequence was me slowly, deeply, irrevocably, finding myself attracted to this marionette of a man. So, I enjoy his content and I think he’s hot and that combined with the fact that some of my friends bully me over that latter fact has inspired me to do this: rank my personal favorite Pat Gill videos in a post that’s entirely too long.

Before I get straight into the rankings, I need to explain my process. 

First, I needed to narrow my scope. Polygon has a lot of videos. Polygon has a lot of videos with Pat Gill in them. If I didn’t narrow my scope, I would either go bonkers yonkers or have a list that would be kilometric in length and thus miss the entire point of ranking altogether. So, for my sanity, I am excluding any videos that are a part of a Polygon video series. This means no Overboard, no Gill and Gilbert, no Video Game Theatre, etc. If I included these, I would cry. I do not want to cry over Polygon Dot Com Video Producer Pat Gill.

Second, I need a criteria. If I just ranked videos with no system, I would find myself endlessly rearranging my list based on whatever thought comes out on top in my mind at the given moment. I am a disorganized person, so I need rules. I have decided that I will rank Pat Gill videos using the EEEH criteria. 

Entertainment. Do I smile, watching the video? Do I chortle? Am I filled with the embarrassing urge to show this video to my sister and derive glee from her laughing at the exact same moment I laughed? Entertainment is key.

Education. Did I come out of this video knowing something I originally did not know? More importantly, was I engaged in the learning process? I come from a family of teachers, so I have high standards when it comes to education. If I am to learn, I must learn well.

Exaltation. This is a bit of an oddball criteria, but it is important to me. The word “exalted” is defined as “elevated in rank, character, or status.” This criteria refers to how good it is at exalting, elevating, pulling me out of a depressive episode. That is to say I’ve been in a depressive episode for the past month and whether or not the video made me stop crying and brush my teeth is essential. Polygon video content has been integral to my serotonin production lately, and thus the video’s ability of acting as an audiovisual antidepressant for me factors into the rankings.

[BONUS POINTS] Hotness. How Hot Is Pat Gill In It? I felt bad, morally, ranking videos based on how good looking I thought Pat Gill was in it---because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that, and people don’t exist to be beautiful, they just are, and I agree---so I’m relegating this criteria as a bonus point. Standard is 0, because he’s always hot in my mind, but he gets plus points if he is exemplary in the hotness department.

The maximum score for each of these criteria is 5 points, making the perfect score a 15, but because of the bonus points, a 20 is, hypothetically, possible. 

With that out of the way, let me dive right into it. 

5. The fastest interview ever with Ben Schwartz from Sonic the Hedgehog

Entertainment: 5 Education: 2 Exaltation: 2 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 11

Pat Gill is a good interviewer, he’s engaging and fun and keeps the interview interesting, but this interview is particularly special because it seems that, and let me quote Youtube user AudreyN who left a comment on this video stating “ben schwartz consumed all seven chaos emeralds prior to this interview.” Pat Gill and Ben Schwartz’s dynamic is amazing, and by “dynamic” I do mean “Ben Schwartz absolutely just fucking dunking on Pat Gill for 14 entire minutes.” and it is glorious.

For Entertainment this scores a solid 5. Quite honestly the funniest interview I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Just the sheer beauty in the exchange [Pat] “You would use Sonic’s power to gaslight me?” [Ben] “Just you.” In terms of Education, I guess I did learn a bunch of things about the Sonic movie that I didn’t know before, but the avenue by which it was portrayed in was not exactly the most engaging, more like I was absorbing it via watching two experts discuss on a webinar. I would have given just 1 point to Education but I made it 2 because of the wonderful knowledge that Pat Gill can draw a pretty good Sonic in a few seconds. When it comes to Exaltation, I must admit that while this video got quite a few laughs out of me, it didn’t make me want to get out of bed and take a shower. 

BONUS: Pat is +2 hot in it. His short hair makes him look very handsome. He’s a spiffy boy, in this video. Very, very good.  

4. Pat Will Not Tweet at Nintendo This Week Because He is Resting at Home — PLEASE RETWEET, Episode 12 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 0 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +1 Total Score: 11

I know I’m breaking a rule I set for myself a few paragraphs earlier by including an episode of Please Retweet, which counts as a video series, but this is my post and I can do whatever I want. More importantly, this video is so fucking funny to me, it feels like it would be a crime not to put it in this list. 

Solid 5 out of 5 for entertainment. Pat Gill, alone in his apartment, drinking six cans of what I think is beer silently while the intro music plays. That scene in itself should win an Oscar. Sadly, a solid 0 for Education, because I learn nothing in this video except for the fact that Pat Gill is the type of person to put out a coaster and then just completely not use it. I quantify things as educational if I can maybe answer a trivia question with them, and unfortunately, this fact does not pass that test. In terms of Exaltation, seeing Pat Gill lie down on the floor next to his cat made me get out of bed to do the same with my dog, and with myself thusly out of my bed cocoon of sadness, I was able to actually complete tasks on the day I watched this video. Perfect 5.

BONUS: Pat is +1 hot in this because there’s something very beautiful about him being a little bit miserable. However, I do miss his beard when I watch this video. It is one of my favorite things about him, and it is not present here.

3. Pat and Simone Play Human: Fall Flat

Entertainment: 5 Education: 1 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: 0 Total Score: 11

I very much enjoy Polygon’s gameplay streams. I often play them in the background while I’m doing other stuff like doodling or origami, but this stream is special. It is special because of the moment at 24:00 when Pat Gill, in game, swings a stereo into a glass window, shattering it, while saying, “Actually, y’know what? Let’s talk about trauma.” and then proceeds to tell a horrible and embarrassing story from his childhood where he had to do a rap about Ancient Egypt. 

5 points for Entertainment. This is partly because of Pat’s tragic childhood story about the Egypt Rap (and, segue just to point out 33:22 the incredible moment where you can hear Pat’s feral panic when Simone finds the lyrics to the Egypt Rap) but also because Pat and Simone just talking to each other is so deeply entertaining to me in a very comfy way. I’m starved for human interaction, in this quarantime, okay. Let me enjoy listening to other people have conversations while playing video games. Education scores a 1 because, again, nothing in this video will let me answer a trivia question, however it does get 1 point and not a 0 because the Egypt Rap’s lyrics are in the comments and I did end up learning stuff about Ancient Egypt that I didn’t know. A perfect 5 for Exaltation because this video showed me that talking about trauma can actually be cathartic, given that you’re trashing a video game living room at the same time, and I think that message of not bottling up your experiences really helped me, in these trying times.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for the entirety of this episode, so he scores the standard 0. I’m sure he was hot. We just couldn’t see him.  

2. Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the same thing

Entertainment: 4 Education: 4 Exaltation: 3 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 12

Ah yes, one of Pat’s “x is y because of z” videos. He’s made a number of these and they’re all very good but this one is my favorite among them and earns a spot on this list because 1) I think puppets are cool and 2) I fucking love monsters. 

This video scores a 4 on Entertainment, just shy of perfect, because as funny as it is, it also gives me the vibe like I am being lectured by a professor who’s just a little bit off the shits. And we all know that lectures are supposed to be taken seriously. Which brings us to Education, which also scores a 4. I learned a lot in this video! Watching Pat Gill explain to me that children’s puppets and these horrifying viddy game monsters use the same character principles in different ways is not only very educational but is also explained in a streamline and easy to understand manner that I WISH some of the shitty professors at my old university could emulate. As for Exaltation, while this video did give me enough energy to have a meal, I did eventually end up back in bed for the night at 8pm crying myself to sleep, thinking “I’m like the slime scholar. Used to be a scholar. Now they’re slime.” 

BONUS: Pat Gill is +2 hot here. He’s rockin that basic ass monochromatic aesthetic and I love his look dearly. 

1. Preparing for Big Boy Season in Red Dead Redemption 2 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 3 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +3 Total Score: 16

Here we are. My favorite non video series Pat Gill video. The video where Pat Gill tries to make Red Dead Redemption 2 protagonist, Arthur Morgan, large. 

Perfect fucking 5 for Entertainment, which I’m sure many may find odd. Afterall, this video is told in a serious investigative tone reminiscent of Vox’s videos on current issues. But that’s the glory of it. The complete and utter ‘playing it straight and serious’ for a ridiculous issue in a video game. It is high tier comedy in a subtle, understated way that sings to my comedy loving heart in a melody so lovely, so wonderful, that it urged me to give this video 5 points for Entertainment. It scores 3 on Education, because I have never played Red Dead Redemption 2, nor will I ever, but now I know things about it. The information was also relayed to me in a very interesting style, via something like a crime procedural, and thus it was engaging for me to absorb all this new knowledge. Exaltation scores a perfect 5 because of this video’s beautiful end about existential smallness. No joke, but hearing Pat Gill say “Our bigness isn’t measured in pounds, but in the impact we have on the people with whom we shared the world.” deadass made me want to talk to my friends again after conversationally isolating myself for 3 days. Preparing for Big Boy Season has a special place in my heart. And there it will stay.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for most of the video but he does appear for like 15 seconds in the middle of it, and guess what. He’s hot. +3 hotness. Good beardage, good hair, all in all, good Pat Gill. 

So there you have it. My five favorite Pat Gill videos. If you read this whole thing, holy shit. You’re welcome, I guess.

[doomedandstoned]

Spelljammer Reveal Trippy New Vid, Talk ‘Abyssal Trip’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Interview by Billy Goate

Cover Art by Aaron Cahill

Our week of big interviews continues as we meet up with the ethereal doom outfit from Stockholm SPELLJAMMER and premiere a new music video, from their just released second LP, dropped only weeks ago on RidingEasy Records and now the number one album on the Doom Charts.

'Abyssal Trip' (2021) is an enthralling listen from edge to center, with lavish textures, deep thematic content, and unforgettably emotive atmosphere that will stick with you for life. Enjoy it as you read the revealing conversation with Niklas Olsson (guitar, vox) and Robert Sörling (guitar) that follows as we unpack their steller new spin, talk nerdy gear shit, and contemplate humanity's fate.

And now, Doomed & Stoned is pleased to bring you the world premiere of the brand new video for that epic third track, "Among The Holy."

Give ear...

Spelljammer - Among The Holy (music video)

You guys have been a band now for damn near 15 years, maybe longer. Most bands don't make it past two years! What is the "key" to the band staying together for so long and continuing to find inspiration for creating new music?

Rob: I don’t think it’s been 15 years just yet but we are getting there, haha. None the less - that’s a really interesting question! Nik and I started the band much because we share the same taste in music, film and, well, art in general. I think that's the core keeping it all together. Also, there have been a few constellations of band members over the years, all with their own dynamic. I think these kinds of changes, and the new directions of the music because of that, is part of the inspiration. Maybe another reason is that we all live in different cities and because of that sometimes a lot of time passes between rehearsals, writing sessions and such, making us always craving for new Spelljammer jams and songs.

Nik: The craving yes. And another reason I think is the fact that we’ve never really been in a rush to get anywhere. Anything Spelljammer, the music included, takes time. If we had been set on making it, this thing probably would have fallen apart a long time ago.

Abyssal Trip by Spelljammer

How did the theme for Abyssal Trip originate?

Nik: I have always been more drawn to the feelings or emotions you get from a riff or piece of music than to any theme of a lyric. But I would say that any themes came in at the lyrics state, which is at the end of the process. But the themes aren’t that specific to any of the albums. I think I cast a pretty wide net in the beginning and stuck to it. For the next album perhaps we will venture more into unchartered waters. We’ll see.

What fascinates you about the Great Abyss of the ocean?

Nik: I totally get that the word abyss conjures up images of ocean trenches and, yes, the ocean is a fascinating and to a large extent undiscovered place. However, when I wrote that I wasn’t necessarily thinking of the ocean but more the abyss of our own minds. But I think it’s a word that evokes many things, like despair and doom, and it is of course totally open to interpretation.

Is mankind doomed or do we have time to correct our course?

Nik: I’m not as pessimistic of a person as the lyrics may suggest. I think we will be here on earth for a long time. Mankind is clever (perhaps too clever for her own good) even if there are a lot of people hell-bent on trying to screw up everything for everybody else.

Rob: Yes, and considering how ignorant and careless (some) people are acting during this pandemic, at least over here, makes you wonder if there’s any hope at all.

Nik: People are the worst. Ultimately, though, none of it matters because we’re all doomed.

Have you guys seen any good movies/documentaries or read any good books lately that inspired you or otherwise challenged your thinking about life, the present, or the future?

Rob: I can’t say that I’ve seen or read anything recently that challenged me significantly, I guess I’m getting too old to be that overwhelmed haha. The film A Ghost Story though was kind of cool though because it was different, slow and weird (in a good way), and for me it’s always inspiring to read/see/hear something that makes you think, "Man, I wish I had come up with that idea”.

Nik: Absolutely! Punch Drunk Love, Moon, and Office Space are definitely movies like that. I have watched so many movies and series through this pandemic and I can’t remember any of them right now. But I did just notice that there is a season 3 of Loudermilk on HBO! If you haven’t already, see it! I’m currently reading "Homeward Bound, The Life of Paul Simon” by Peter Ames Carlin. It’s a good read about one of my favorite musicians.

For recording this album, what kind of gear did you use and what production/engineering considerations did you have to take into account?

Rob: Since we did a remote recording in the countryside we had to use whatever stuff that we could fit into a couple of cars. I have a couple of old audio interfaces that I linked for a total of 16 channels. I also have a small collection of mics (nothing fancy) and we used them all and the rest was borrowed. We set up the drums in the living room and put the guitar and bass rigs as far away as we could (the adjacent rooms) to avoid bleed and just focused on getting the rhythm tracks done. The goal was to get us all in the same room and to catch the vibe from a relaxed rehearsal kind of situation. The bass rig used was a Orange Terror Bass and an Ampeg SVT 810 and the guitar was tracked through a Reval Mark I and/or Orange TH-100 and a Orange PPC 412. Of course there’s always some unforeseen problem lurking and this time it was the electricity in the old country house.

Nik: I don’t use many effects, just a fuzz. For this one I used a Supercollider from Earthbound Audio. It is exactly what the name suggests. That’s all you need really.

The album cover is amazing! It reminds me, in some strange way, of the creature in the old B-movie Robot Monster (1953). What's the story behind the artwork?

Nik: It definitely has a B-movie vibe that I really like. I’m afraid I can’t really tell you much about it other than the artist name is Aaron Cahill and you can find his stuff on Instagram under the name nghbrs.

I filmed your first US appearance at Psycho Las Vegas in 2016. Fans want to know: do you have ambitions of returning to North America once the world sorts out this pandemic?

Rob: Yes, that’s our first and only US appearance so far and we wouldn’t mind at all returning to Vegas or any other part of the US. For now it’s really hard making any plans at all. In fact, you would think that this kind of isolation would enhance creativity, and maybe for some it does, but for us it’s actually been the most unproductive period so far for Spelljammer. So I’m hoping that by the time this thing blows over we get the inspiration back both for writing/recording new music, and in time hopefully revisiting the US!

Nik: I agree, playing at Psycho Las Vegas was a blast. I hope we get another opportunity to come back some day.

Spelljammer at Psycho Las Vegas/a>

Some Buzz

“The vastness of everything is something that I think about a lot,” says Spelljammer bassist/vocalist Niklas Olsson. And it certainly shows in both the expansive, sludgy sounds and contemplative lyrics of the Stockholm, Sweden based trio. Following a 5-year break between their previous album, Ancient of Days — perhaps fittingly spent pondering said vastness — Spelljammer is back with an album that perfectly bridges the band’s earlier desert rock leanings and their later massive, slow-burning riffs.

'Abyssal Trip' (note: carefully reread that album title) takes its moniker from the perpetually dark, cold, oxygen-free zone at the bottom of the ocean. The 6-song, 44-minute album fittingly embodies that bleak realm with rumbling, oozing guitars intercut with dramatic melodic interludes. The songs take their time to unfurl, making them even more hypnotic. Likewise, the lyrics take a poetic approach to establishing the sonic scenery.

“The lyrical themes we address, like the ultimate doom of man, and the search and longing for new and better worlds, are still there,” Olsson says. “The concept of something undiscovered out there in vast emptiness is pretty much always present.”

The recording process for Abyssal Trip differs from previous releases in that the band — guitarist Robert Sörling, drummer Jonatan Rimsbo and Olsson — opted to capture the performances while holed up in the mental bathysphere of a house in the countryside near Stockholm. “The songs benefitted from the relaxed environment of being away from everything,” Olsson explains. Indeed, the album sounds confident and meticulously arranged, afforded by the band’s isolation. Sörling mixed the album and it was mastered by Monolord drummer Esben Willems at Berserk Audio.

Album opener “Bellwether” begins dramatically with a very slow, nearly minute-long fade in of rumbling distortion setting the stage for heavily distorted bass and guitar plucking out the lugubrious riff for another minute and a half before the drums begin, and likewise equally as long before vocals gurgle to the surface. “Lake” abruptly shifts gears, opening with an unusually fast gallop before rupturing into thundering doom that soon drops into a clean-tone Middle Eastern melodic breakdown.

The title track serves as the album centerpiece, opening with ominous film dialogue about blood sacrifice that launches into pummeling, detuned guitars rumbling over gut-punching drums and howling vocals hearkening to the proto-sludge of Pink Floyd’s “The Nile Song.” The dynamic relents briefly for a slow building clean guitar melody before all instruments lock into a jerking riff topped off by a trilling Iommi style lead. Throughout, Abyssal Trip is, just like its title suggests, an epic tour through desolate zones which yields much to discover.

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When He Sees Me

Pairing: Karmagisa + mentioned Maeiso

So this is basically a sequel of this where Karma meets florist!Nagisa

I was listening to ‘When He Sees Me’ from Waitress when I was writing this so yeah...

Maehara and Fuwa stood behind the counter, completely ignoring their work as they watched Nagisa pace about the shop, their heads moving backwards and forwards in unison as the blunette walked to and fro from one side of the large room to the other, wringing his hands and mumbling under his breath.

“You alright there, Nagisa?” Maehara asked, amber eyes still trained on his frantic-looking coworker slash friend, “you know it’s not that big of a deal, right?”

Nagisa paused, swivelling in place so that he could give the blond an incredulous look. He repeated, hands flying everywhere, “Not a big deal?! This is the biggest deal ever! Karma is coming in ten minutes to take me on a date - a date - and you’re saying that it’s not that big of a deal?!”

“Calm down, Nagisa,” Fuwa said, as if she didn’t transform into a squealing volcano when she found out that the redhead customer that Nagisa had hit it off with that fateful day had asked the petite pigtailed boy on a date to a local sushi chain and then proceeded to glomp said unsuspecting petite pigtailed boy into a hug as she rattled on about how she was ‘so proud of him’ and that ‘all I’m asking for is to be your maid of honour’, “it’s not like he hasn’t asked you out before. I mean the two of you went to see that Sonic Ninja movie the other day.”

“That’s completely different,” Nagisa exclaimed, “we went to a movie theatre - where you sit in the dark for the majority of the time - to watch a movie that we were too immersed in to actually have a conversation. And then we only spoke for about five minutes before I had to leave because mum called. Now we’ll be in a public area where all of his attention will be trained on me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Maehara inquired, ignoring the quiet hiss of ‘vile madwoman’ that seemed to escape Fuwa’s mouth at the mention of Nagisa’s mother, “I mean speaking to each other and getting to know each other is one of the best parts of dating.”

“You’d know all about dating,” Fuwa smirked, “wouldn’t you, Womaniser?”

“Former Womaniser,” Maehara shot back in offense, “I’ll have you know that since dating Isogai, I have become a changed man.”

“I sure hope so,” Fuwa retorted, pointing a threatening finger at the blond’s face, “I swear to god Maehara, if you hurt that lovely Prince Charming of a barista I will hunt you down and end you in ways so bad that not even Ranpo Edogawa would be able to find your body or discover what happened to you.”

“Fuwa, if I ever do end up hurting Isogai, you have my permission to end me in any way you wish.”

“Guys!” Nagisa yelled, “can we get back to my crisis, please? I mean I’ve never been on a date before so I wouldn’t even know what to expect.”

“But isn’t that exciting?” Fuwa encouraged, her dark and threatening expression had completely been replaced by her usual starry-eyed adoration of anything that remotely resembled one of her beloved shojou mangas, “finding out everything you possibly could about the other, staring into each other’s eyes as you uncover the depths of their soul as you feel yourself falling more and more in love with each other.”

They both looked at her as she began swooning with daze.

Maehara raised an eyebrow, “where do you come up with this stuff?”

Fuwa shrugged, “it’s not my fault that you two happen to have meet-cutes that are literal shojou material. I mean come on: we’re all florists and Maehara’s boyfriend works in a coffee shop. At this point, I just hope that I don’t get dismissed as a mere side character.”

“That makes even less sense.”

“It’s just - just so scary,” Nagisa confessed, head hanging low as he began twiddling with his fingers, “I don’t really know that much about him apart from that he likes the same franchise as me. And that he’s super smart. It’s just so new that I have no idea what to do. I-I like to stick with the things I know, you know, try to minimise the areas where I can make mistakes. When things turn into some big guessing game and you lose control of the situation, things can turn ugly, trust me on that.”

“But it isn’t a complete guessing game,” Fuwa said, “you know that you like him and that he likes you.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Nagisa argued, “what if he only likes whatever version of me that he thought he saw that day we first met? What if tonight, during our date, he realises that he made a terrible mistake and that I’m really not whatever he thought I was that interested him? What if he’s disappointed when he knows what I’m really like?”

“Hey, hey, Nagisa,” Fuwa consoled. In the midst of the male’s anxiety-driven panic, she had walked towards him and now had the palms of her hands laying flat on his shoulders, their firm grips grounding him in an attempt to prevent him from proceeding further with his emotional tangent, “calm down. You’re getting worked up over nothing. Remember he asked you out

“But what if there’s something wrong with him?” Nagisa gasped as a new idea dawned on him, “I mean come on, have you met me? I’m not much of a catch and I’m certainly not that interesting. What if - what if he’s some sadistic psychopath that is only asking me out to lure me away into an abandoned alley and then kill me so that he can sell my organs in the black market or something? He could’ve planned this moment from the first day we saw each other. Oh my god, I knew I was being too reckless.”

“Holy hell, man,” Maehara rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe I’m saying this because you’re like the most chill person I know but you’re acting worse than Fuwa. You really need to reel back on those crime dramas - not everyone’s some crazy unsub from Criminal Minds. He’s a high schooler just like us. I really don’t think he’s planning on killing you.”

“You never know,” Nagisa shot back, “I mean with the TV shows and current media we’ve got nowadays anything’s possible. He could be some sort of heartless sadist. He - he.”

Nagisa cut himself off when his eyes caught onto the bunches of sunflowers that stood proudly next to the pink cala lilies by the window. Walking up to them, he carefully picked one up and gently traced the circumference of the disk florets, his mouth curling upwards at the memory of Karma entering the store the next day.

“I got your bouquet,” he had said, blushing furiously at the wide grin on the other’s face.

“Really?” Karma asked, “I didn’t get a text so I thought it might have been misplaced.”

“I don’t really text people I don’t know that well.”

“Hmm, I see. Well, what if I told you three things about myself? Would that be enough for us to have a textual relationship?”

Nagisa’s blush deepened, both at the redhead’s words and at the way his heart seemed to beat faster. The redhead placed his elbows on the counter and leaned forward, “what kind of three things?”

“Well, one, I want to study Economics in University so that I can become a bureaucrat. Two, I wasn’t kidding about the offer to the movies. Or with maths. Or about those flowers because Asano’s face was the funniest thing I saw all week. And three, I think that you really know your flowers.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It’s just what I meant when I sent you that bouquet with the forget-me-nots,” Karma smiled, “there’s just something about you that’s pretty unforgettable.”

“He could be the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” Nagisa whispered, “which is weird because I’ve never felt like this about someone. Especially not someone I barely know.”

“But Nagisa,” Fuwa said, “you’re like really good at reading and analysing people so shouldn’t you trust your instincts. They’ve never been wrong before, right?”

“I don’t know. He’s just so amazing and smart and brilliant and he makes me feel things I can’t even explain even though we’ve only known each other for like a week and he’s like a straight A student and I’m just barely passing my tests. I’m not used to not understanding my feelings and I’m just so scared that I’ll drive him away. He’s funny and knows how to make me laugh and I feel like - I don’t know - like I don’t need to be scared. I barely know him but I want to know more and there may be a chance that he does too but what if when he knows more he doesn’t want to know more anymore. When you’re on a date you’re supposed to be open, but what if the only way I can be open is if I get broken and then he realises that I’m a complete mess and by that time it’s too late to put me back together,” he tucked the bright yellow flower back into the basket with the rest of its species, “I always look at things rationally, I try to get as much information as possible but right now everything seems irrational and I don’t know what to do.”

Fuwa walked up to him and pivoted him around so that she could stare right into his eyes, “you be yourself. Your usual kind, loving amazing self that me and Maehara and Sugino and everyone else knows and loves. You go there and you have fun and if Karma suddenly develops insanity and realises that he doesn’t like you - which will not happen by the way - then I will kick his redheaded butt, you hear me. I’ll even steal one of Sugino’s baseball bats so that I can beat him to death, if you want.”

“I’ll help,” Maehara piped up, “so will Isogai and Yada and Kurahashi and everyone else at The Busy Bean.”

“Wait,” Nagisa turned to him, “the coffee shop knows about this?!”

“Yep,” Maehara nodded with no hint of shame, “they were interested in their favourite customer’s love life and I was only too happy to provide. They ship you guys by the way but will kill Karma if he decides to hurt you.”

“You know what,” Nagisa shook his head, “I’m not even going to question it.”

“Just have fun,” Fuwa reiterated, brushing his shoulders, “you’ll be fine.”

“Looks like you calmed down on time,” Maehara quipped, “because I see a little silhouetto of a man.”

Nagisa and Fuwa turned their heads towards the giant transparent double doors to see Karma sauntering up to the store whilst texting on his phone. Readying himself, Nagisa took a few deep breaths before straightening himself and walking towards the front of the counter. With a look behind him so that he could see his coworkers’ thumbs up, he stared straight at the door as he waited for it to open. The bell rang as Karma walked in.

“Hey, Nagisa.”

“Uhh, hi, Karma.”

“So, you ready for dinner?”

“I sure am.”

And so the two of them left the store, side by side.

Fuwa turned to the boy beside her, wiping away a fake tear, “Ahh, they grow up so fast.”

“They sure do.”

“We should go follow them.”

“Fuwa, no.”

“Fuwa, yes.”