#i had a good day today! went into the city and got notebooks and sticker and a poetry book i am going to hvae to read very very slowly

[obsob]

to be loved is to be held!!! print

[mean-hare]

august and september parts of my eddiary, as shitty as always but I need to put these notes somewhere so let it be here

part 4

august, 1 i had a lot of energy and almost no appetite. i cleaned my room, rearranged toys, watched movies, and even talked with danny. unusually good day

august, 2 i cant find my fav cheap and tasty 0kcal cola-like soda. now i should spend my money on more expensive cola to drown my inner self in it

august, 3 actually i spend money my mom give me. i have no job and maybe never will have. i am too nervous, too mad, too inacurate and too depressed for it. all days long i only draw shit, watch movies and go to market to spend money on junk foodd to harm my body or to throw up and on drinks to replace food with them. sometimes i buy toys or stickers but most of time theyre way too expencive

august, 4 i watched stupid comedy film with lot of stereotypic cliches and draw danny in various clothes and poses. i dont think ill show him, it looks like he dont want to talk with me again. our friendship may lookunhealthy but the only guy who blame and harm me there is me myself

august, 5 i woke up after 1hour long sleep, i used to sleep in late morning hours but today i couldnt. me and my mom arrived by the bus to the beregszasz town. its pretty close to the hungarian border and many people there talk in hungarian. i love it i dont really remember what i ate but not too much i think. i was feeden by emotions of homelike language. and also i wanted an energy drink all the time and finally got it

august, 6 days in town were and will be full of eating like a human being i think. i try to feel myself alright and try tasty meals in cafe. i love cafes. palacsintas, waffles, icecream, milkshakes, pizza. i walk with fluffy doggy bagpack, i have notebook and water in it. this child just need to have fun

august, 7 my mom realised how much energy drinx i drink per day and she doesnt like it

august, 8 i walked alone aimlessly down the hot towns streets with a can in my hand. streets was empty most of time. just one grumpy man called me an animal while walked in opposite direction. i donk know what he meant by that. and some granny said to me "its so hot, eh". i draw ppls attention to myself involuntary, as always

august, 9 wow much zero coke i drank here! there was a market with the cheapest cola cans i ever saw in past 3 years

august, 10 i just hope that many hours of intense sweating and headbanging to breakcore in headphones while sitting in hurrying bus back to a city burns a lot of calories but i cant stop it anyways

august, 11 still not enough sleep, overwhelmed by all the information i wanted to consume (pointless but interesting) few minutes ago, gnawed by a loneliness online and offline, all this shit led me to (obviously!) very stupid binge

august, 12 lived this day not better nor worse, just average boring

august, 13 hey you. they created a big pack of chips for a big merry company, not for lonely asshole with eating problems like you

august, 14 corpsey greenish moon gazing thru the night haze, pale as pus, menacing like in dying

august, 15 i walked down to the market to buy cheap icecream and cheap cola. bazaar near it was closed due to evening hours and there were no people on the ways between the iron and concrete walls. somehow liminal

august, 16 things went not perfect but better that could be. i decided to spend last money on energy drink instead of bag of cornflakes

august, 17 i started my day with nausea because of sound of fucking drills (my mysophonic panic), found and ate some pain killers, burned my mouth with spicy junk dinner and pointlessly fooled around my room till morning affected by another bunch of cola and energy drink

august, 18 i bought a pink plastic horse. brutal metalhead in toyshop looks hilarious. brutal metalhead who buys pink horsey looks very hilarious. i saw this toy almost year ago and i couldnt forget here sinse then. that mare looks special. most toys has neutral faces or slight calm smile on them. but that sassy gal had really bitchy moody face with grinned teeth. and finally i got her and feel no regrets. at least i knew what i want.

august, 19 i was at first time in little village house my dad bought for himself. it was simple boring house with almost no furniture beyond the kitchen and i think it never will be interesting because my dad loves stupid boring monochroom minimalistic design with wooden details. parents, sister and their friend went to a backyard to roast sausages. i dont eat meat so all the time i read library book or played with lil green car toy i found in this house

august, 20 you know who am i? i am a person who dont look like one who has an ed. i am a boy who look like a girl. am i? i trust the liars and suspect when people tell me the truth. im looking like cool adult with interesting life but im still that ugly child who feels itself the worst way posiible everyday.

august, 21 im into gabber music sometimes and i think it would be fun to learn hakken dance. i also want to dance tectonic, c walk, lezginka and csardas. but i dont know how to and dont think i can do in. i like dancing sometimes. but my body often feels to heavy and clumsy to move

august, 22 i failed. but at least i tried. but how i failed!

august, 23 parents leaved this city before ukrainian independence day because they thought that russia will throw much more bombs here and my mom was afraid. i stay because i dont want to go with them and better spend time here with movies and tumblr than in their boring little village with them for 2 days long. so i chilled all day along with few liters of caff drinx and little annoying kitten

august, 24 it was another chilling day alone. i bought some drinx again (but one l less than yesterday bc i a little nauseous of already consumed caffeine), i even find a little purple cheap pony toy and bought it. today was really more air alarms than other days but as i know nobody was killed (i may be wrong, i dont watch news)

august, 25 this normal late night i was ready to drowse with john frusciante songs in cold laptop light but suddenly i saw some movement on my bed. i saw one tiny TIC. i dont afraid insects but the tics. they are the main reason why i almost never walk in the forest. today i even didnt go anywhere but this little shit somehow appeared here. i took a piece of paper, kill and throw into a sink. im shocked

august, 26 i had one little job of redacting one little text. (i cant even call it freelance job, it was more like accident job) anyway i got some little money and spent it all on a toy. beautiful blue plastic toy dog. and unique rare (in this country) energy drink in beautiful 500ml can. im so glad, i smiled like an idiot all day. so cute doggyyyyy…. but now i have no money and no food

august, 27 my mom was concerned that i eat nothing but the junkfood. well i dont find other food tasty and dont want to choke on awfull tasting meal. parents went to the bazaar while i sleep (before 3 pm) and bought the boring fruits and disgusting vegs. now kitchen stinks because of beefroot

august, 28 i buyed pepsi black, cheap blue erergy drink bottle and some little wafers. when i went back some 12yo(i guess) teens laughed at me because i had an "emo" pin. i am probably the only emo in this city, its kinda sad

august, 29 my dear friend danny despise and rejects me. im going to starve myself to death

august, 30 i will never be ready for the cruel words from the last person i love. i cant stay sane after that.

august, 31 i watched the famous film "pianist". theres a melody the main character plays, chopins nocturn do diez minor or something like that. i cried because danny loves this melody. just because of that. stared with teary eyes at the screen, then tears went dry, i forgot about everything and watched that movie. and at the end he played that nocturn again. and i cried again, i couldnt stop, i cried till the end of the movie, cried after the end, cried painfully endlessly and was disgusted by my reaction. i watched a beautiful and sad film about loss and real suffering completely tearless but cried like an idiot just because of that damned melody just because my cruel friend loves it.

part 5

september, 1 sadness, yearning and envy driving me bad, my thin body will be a product of pain and limbo

september, 2 my dad is sick and stay at this house. i dont leave my room mostly. i dont want to be in same room with him. not that he is so bad, most of ppl considers him as good man. he just exhaust me without knowing it, we like a different species that cant live together without problems

september, 3 autumn is always fast in this city and september started with cold weather as always. i took a long walk. i love long walks when its cold and dusky, i just need money to buy something at the middle and end of my way. it makes me confident. i walked near the park that everybody call "a forest", i walked near abandoned shacks that once were paychecks, i swinged on wet swings and i felt better than yesterday (tbh i cant remember how i felt yesterday). i found a market near the "forest" there were many foreign items. i bought few cans of drinks and realised that only one had calories. i also boulgt a clipper. i dont smoke, i just love flame and that clipper was cool, black, with skull and "love dead" written under it. thats so relevant and relitable shit for me, even that funny mistake is symbolical

september, 4 i cant concentrate on reading, on every thing, everything is blurry, my head isnt working right, my stomach is hurting all day

september, 5 successfully restricted. i found the place where hobos live. theres some concrete blocks near the school and small church. i bought few drinx and sat on blocks to chill and drink one of them (one with watermelon taste) and then i hear harsh voise underneath these blocks: "fucking teens! get the fuck out from here!!"

september, 6 i saw so perfect boy working in the market. how thin he was and how delicate. i bought few cool zero cal drinks: barr soda with icecrem taste, cola, foreign cherry lemonade. i saw him once, he is cashier there, his name is volodimir and thats all i know about him. he reminds me lead singer of emo band marakesh, he doesnt looks alt at all but he is thin like an anorexic emoboy. i like him not judt because of it, he isnt just another thinspo stranger. i think about him constantly. i feelin like i love him and its stupid, very stupid. i dont know him and i dont think id talk with him someday, i am too bad for people, unatractive. and i dont talk. i am silent always.

september, 7 i only drank some dairy and took random quizes on idrlabs. almost all of them told me that i have mental problem

september, 8 i went to the market with my dad. it was wery strange, liminal experience. there were not many items and almost no people around. it was 9:30 pm. of course i binged (first time this week) but it was not the worst of my binges, and i throwed up some of it. perhabs it was tiring. my back hurts now.

september, 9 ate the rest of snacks and cokes and feelin really shit

september, 10 every day is so same, timewasting, tumblr and movies, day after day and times goes by so senseless, and what should i do, what else can i do? you are lucky if you have friends, if you have someone to spend some time with.

september, 11 its something like an instinct of bear. i bought sweet and greasy food but ate only bag of chips and 4 cookies. soon i felt asleep in unusual early hours, 10 pm or something like that, just lied under blanket in sweater and socks and jeans, i didnt take my clothes off. im feeling cold everyday and sleepy

september, 12 i drank low cal milk and black tea. then i ate jogurt with plums. and again milk. 900 kcals i started this dusky day with movies, not really good ones. then i just browsing aimlessly. talked with my friend danny. thought that he maybe loves me despite some of some of his earlier very mean messages, today he was kind. i send him pic of hobo who lays on concrete under the blanket and hugs his dog and wrote "we?". he answered "we". i said ":3". he also said ":3 i want to sleep more

september, 13 i wanted to eat nothing today but then i wanted to eat something and its bad. only good thing is my mom learned how to make low fat fries

september, 14 i woke up and ate homemade cookies and i even dont know their kcal values then i fall asleep. then i woke up and only drank tea and watched boring movie. im ill, i cant think

september, 15 good things: i restricted i found funny gypsy song about weed danny said something fummy to me (i forget what) i watched "the boys" bad things: i feel shit every minute my memory is getting worse and i forget everything (i forget)

september, 16 im sick. im cold. im coughing. im always irritated. every fuckin day i wake up in sweat, eat too much, feel like a shit and almost dead

september, 17 warm homemaid plain food, milk with honey, hot tea. common things. i probably loosing many calories when coughing that hard. it feels like someones heavy boots strongly kicking my ribcage

september, 18 spicy chips was the only food i didnt regret after consuming it. surprisingly it made my sore throat less sore for some time and made the pain weaker. but other food was ugly mistake, used again to fill that permanently rotting void, all in vain

september, 19 today after piglike eating i understood that every time i try to eat vegan it ends up with massive gross binge. maybe veganism is not an option for person who hate every vegan food option but few fruits that cant make body full

september, 20 mmy belly scrached by all the claws of mine, painted in shiny dark color. i will never be normal or alright, i kmiw it well.

september, 21 i am eaten by sorrow. i am gnawed by grief. why dont you understand me, dont you mind. why dont you listening to me?

september, 22 i wasnt in my room all day from 11 am til 9 pm. it started with a sound of drill and i leave the house bc i cant stand yhe sound of drill. it was there all that time so i couldnt back. i bought cheap bottle of blue energy drink in local market and went to auchan. it located at the very city edge. i walked familiar path thru the field when suddenly there appears the huge fuck. the fucking giant bog spot. it took me half of hour to find my way through. but i did it and i came to the market with boots full of mud and singing the cotton head joe i needed to waste more time so i walked many shops with toys, books, decor art supplies and other. then i spent some money for diet cheap cream soda, energy drinks, some little sweets, black nail polish and spicy chips. i sat at the 1 floor, ate chips and read book from library about pianist with heterohromia. then i walked down the trace down the one of the longest streets in this city. my backpack was heavy because of few litres of drinks, books and notebooks and ome other unknown items. i walked near the bus station where were many people and fat mongrels wanted to sniff me. then i walked in unknown part of the road, lost behind plattenbauen. there were bricks and trees and weird wet trees (today every plant was wet) and cat. i saw one very ugly and attractive buildind, i cant explain why it makes me like that. it looked like theres livevery marginalized and wrathful people and it looked like it slightly burned some time ago. i am obsessed with this one now. i walked those unknown beutiful decaying post soviet streets sometimes stopped to take photos and drink and the sky became darker and more gray. the sky became dark evening. and it started to rain, the downpur. i still walked that longest streets but i turned to its more popular and lighted part and waited for the bus at the buss stop. i was a little tired by the weight of my bag, i could walk some more but i didnt really liked the idea to wear wet clothes when 5 km far from my room. so i returned by the bus. when i walked last few metres to my house i quickly became wet and rain was pouring the rest of the day and all night long

september, 23 another boredom shopping and boredom eating, nothing new. my legs still hurt after yesterday i talked with one guy online about my yesterday walk and i searched that fucked building in google maps and found it. i also tried to find some information about it or at least photos but found nothing but the ad about selling room and private massage salon that may be no longer exist. i started feel paranoic feeling that theres something hiddden there. i thought that someones hides it, maybe to cover places that may be considered by strangers as repulsing, ugly, revolting, to show only fine, good or at least ok=ish places of the city. some may show some good buildungs in bad state with "the dark side of the city" and "scary and dangerous places in lviv" but it will still be something pop and plain and known. i feel that many dont know and dont find and some are hide.i feel that theres something tremedous in That building, something that should be found and shown, something that hidden by someones. i still feel that. well, i can be right or it can be just my paranoia or delusion.

september, 24 too many liquid calories.but also activities to burn it. i was in the countryside today where my grandfather live. i was climbing trees, picking fav sour apples, stinged by nettle, gathering wallnuts, shivering at cold autumn evening. some new bruises on my knees, it feels like a childhood

september, 25 i talk with danny, my last friend. i know that he is not really good friend but i have no one by my side. he is the only person who makes me feel loved even if in rare. sometimes he kind. sometimes he tries to understand what im sayin, sometimes he tries to be a good friend. i still love him. anyway i am much worse friend than him

september, 26 very gross binge on healthy food 1

september, 27 very gross binge on healthy food 2. fuck the healthy food

september, 28 i saw my almost naked body in the mirror at night when went to the bathroom. i was shocked by how ugly i am. i dont want to see it again. now i dont take my clothes, i sleep in jeans and sweater. i didnt wash myself for few weeks because seeing this body naked is really awfull and i cant stand it. i know its gross but i dont even contact with people so who cares. i hide my body from myself under clothes, i avoid looking in the mirrors and reflections. i dont want to see this body, i dont wwant myself.

september, 29 i dont remember what i ate thru tis day, but not too much i think. kitten ronald felt from the window. my mom ran down and pick he up. he is scared and meows painfully sometimes cus he broke his leg. he will be taken to the vet.

september, 30 average day. average restriction, average food intake bc theres so much normal food. average time killing. i dont feel good, nor bad. i dont feel…i dont care about anything, just nothin

[i---dag]

Work Diary. entry 2 (Monday 11th of March, 2024)

First woke up at 07:18, then fell back asleep and got up at 09:32. Now I'm drinking my second cup of instant coffee in front of my computer, looking into the city archive of Maribo in Denmark to find some pictures I can use for a graphic freelance project I'm doing. At 11:00 I have to call the new communications employee at one of my jobs to talk about who does what, since I am also a communications employee - slight conflict of interest maybe. My friend recommended me two texts I would like to read today: Why Has Critique Run Out of Steam by Bruno Latour, and Outing Texture by Renu Bora. Lets see how it goes.

So after writing this I was crying until now, it's 13:14 now. I felt like this day has nothing to offer, I wanted to cancel all the plans I have this week, feeling insecure about doing the work etc. But I think today is the day were doing the work starts. I have afew things on my to-do list:

Go to the inner city to ask how expensive it will be to fix my camera, and maybe find a notebook exclusively for the purpose of mapping, and

Go to a café to read, research, write, and do my job, and

Go to my friends place where I currently have my studio (it's not working out) to pick up some paper and drawing things, and

Pick up a dress from my other friend that I sold her 5 years ago that she has now sold back to me.

This list will be concluded with the following statement: I'm tired of rich nepotist curators. To be continued and updated.

-

It's now 16:56. I did ritalin and went out of the door with M. We took the bus from home to Sydhavn St., switched to the S-train and got off at Copenhagen Central Station were we parted. I then walked to Tutein where I did some intuitive shopping for materials, paper in the color I call "sale yellow", 4 sheets of tracing paper, 4 sheets of pvc, neon yellow dot stickers, and a roll of grey tape. I pocketed some transparent tiny human shaped models for architecture modelling, 2 translucent elastic bands and 2 white elastic bands. I'm not sure what I'll use it for yet but I hope it will make sense to use in this mapping project. I then went to Photographica and was told that my camera is too old for them to be able to fix it. It saddens me that electronics have a life and death in the sense that they just cannot be fixed when they are outdated. I'm going to walk around in Nørrebro another day to see if any of the electronic shops there can help me, not giving up just yet. A hippie dude who seems to be obsessed with me wrote me on Instagram that I can have his old camera, I'm not sure if I feel like taking him up on the offer. After the disappointment I went to Kunstbiblioteket at Charlottenborg to get Fifty Years of Recuperation by McKenzie Wark, a book she wrote on the Situationist International (SI) and the movements influence on our contemporary understanding of art, culture and politics. I had trouble finding it but a very sweet librarian helped me locate it, and it of course turned out to be just where I couldn't find it. I can't walk around the city without going to at least one secondhand shop, so I went to Blå Kors Genbrug and got a neon yellow running jacket. I was thinking about the G4S security guards walking around in their neon uniforms, imagining they had wings like angels, maybe it will turn out to be something. I then texted with I and we agreed to meet at Tjili Pop. I cut through Kongens Have and felt very anti-social, not sure if it would be a good idea to meet, today is pessimistic as fuck. Walking by Nørreport to swing by the genbrugsstation at Nansensgade where I found a crystal-glass candlestick, then proceeded to walk by the lakes to get to Tjili Pop where I am now writing this. I met someone I know on my way to get cigarettes, they looked at me with a weird look on their face and so did the lady in the kiosk. I'm not sure what to take from that.

[closedafterdark]

First Love

LOOΠΔ Park Gowon x Male Reader

11538 words

categories: fluff, smut, oral, light! bdsm, holy water required

notes: @mintwithchoco​ 👀

Read on AFF

There’s a popular saying that you find love when you least expect it.

For some, it’s about timing. What may not work out now can in the future. For others - it’s finding the courage to tell the other person how you feel. Perhaps it may also be the person was right next to you all along; just waiting patiently. Whatever the case, the roads to one another will be connected so long as both people are willing to meet halfway.

--

The new school year is always an exciting time. New classes. Teachers. Classmates. Getting to wear a freshly ironed uniform after having had a restless night due to excitement. A blonde haired girl walks down a heavily populated hallway. The sounds of students greeting each other after an extended summer break. Girls chattering away about the concert they went to or the latest gossip about who is dating who. Others run down the hallway as one student throws a crumpled up piece of paper and attempts to make a fadeaway, failing miserably and earning laughter from his friends nearby and especially the person recording with his phone. She walks past several classrooms with a piece of paper in hand before finally stopping in front of a row of lockers. Looking down, she finds the locker assigned to her as well as the combination to open it. Turning the metallic dial left, right and counterclockwise left once more, the locker door unlocks.

She places her notebook and several textbooks inside the locker, letting out a sigh of a relief as the weight has been removed from her backpack. Taking a sticker from the inside pocket of the notebook, she puts it on the door of the locker. The bell above the locker area suddenly rings, startling her. It was now time for homeroom class. Having barely closed her locker, she is almost blown away by a sudden gust of wind as various students run through the hall and try to find their homeroom.

--

“Listen up everyone, we have a new student joining us. Introduce yourself.” the homeroom teacher said, staring at you. You approached the front of the classroom with heavy steps and slumped shoulders. All eyes were on you which simultaneously caused you to close yours. Some watching intently, others having facial expressions unable to be read. Breathing deeply, you opened your eyes and addressed everyone.

“Hello, I just moved here yesterday.”

“That’s it?” the teacher asked. You nodded, not wanting to say anything else.

“Well, okay then. It seems our class is pretty full.. Do we have any open seats?” She scanned the room. Most were already taken. As her eyes reach the final two rows near the windows, she finds an opening at the very back of the room.

“Ah, you can sit there.” she said, pointing to a seat next to a girl who was the only person to not look at you. 

“Park Chaewon, raise your hand.”

You noticed a small hand being raised as the blonde girl who it belonged to refused to look you in the eye. With the teacher motioning you to your newly assigned seat, you heard the murmurs of students after each step you took. Most were girls giggling and having genuine interest in the new person in their class, while others looked like they could burn your skin from their intense stares.

“Good luck.” one student said to you as you approached the back of the classroom.

Removing your backpack and placing the straps on either side of the backrest, you looked to your right and saw the girl known as Chaewon. Your first impression of her was that she possessed an intimidating aura, seemingly not wanting to be bothered by anyone else in the classroom. Her large, round eyes remained focused at the whiteboard in front. Catching yourself staring at her for a bit too long, you were slightly concerned as she still had not blinked once. She was diligent, taking notes earnestly using a cute pink mechanical pencil with a bunny design on it. Her side profile was further enhanced by the sunlight coming from the windows next to you.

--

Lunchtime was something Park Chaewon looked forward to. Besides replenishing her energy and filling up her stomach, it provided relief from the awkward looks and gossip of other students. She was a loner at school by choice. Many referred to Chaewon as the blonde ice princess - mainly due to her cold expressions and staring at people eye to eye.

Today was a special day at the cafeteria: bulgogi, rice and various other side dishes. Despite having many desserts and pastries to offer most students sought out one - the coveted pillowy soft bread filled with chocolate hazelnut spread. Only offered twice a month, it is always made in limited quantities; no more than ten at a time.

Chaewon had the unfortunate misfortune of missing out on the delicious bread as something always prevented her from seizing one: whether it be a teacher in the hall stopping her to discuss how she felt about the latest test to being bumped by students running by and dropping all of her things. Just a few weeks ago, Chaewon was late to the cafeteria due to having to retake a missed exam.

But this time was different. She calculated down to the second all the events leading up to lunch. For two weeks, Chaewon made sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep, do homework in the library or immediately when she got home. She studied the material right after class ended in order to ensure it was drilled into her mind. Being an introvert and considered “antisocial” and “uncool” by the other students meant she didn’t have to worry about offending anyone’s feelings or waiting up for them. The restless tapping of her foot increased in volume and speed with each passing second in the classroom. She kept a hand clutching her stomach, hoping it would not make loud noises of hunger like it usually did at home. A slight sweat formed on her body as the teacher’s lecture about the different types of Japanese architecture fell on deaf ears.

“... and that is why the legendary Pokemon known as Ho-Oh left Ecruteak City and the Bell Tower after the Brass Tower was burned down. Make sure to do your assigned homework.”

The moment the teacher left the room, Chaewon ran out of the classroom’s back entrance. Taking a look at her wristwatch, her eyes watched the number of seconds constantly cycle through as she timed the distance between where she currently was and the cafeteria. Stepping out of the way of two students helping another gather their belongings and almost running into another student who emerged from a blind spot to the left of her, Chaewon continued running down the hall and each step of the staircase. Placing her hands on her knees, she was mere feet from the entrance to the cafeteria. Gathering the last bit of energy she could muster, she quickly walked inside.

Getting a tray, she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and a spoon. Thankfully with no one nearby, they weren’t able to hear her stomach growled in hunger. She took the metal container of rice and a large amount of bulgogi in stride. Continuing on with the radish soup and a small amount of seaweed and kimchi, it was now time for Chaewon to arrive at the final area before the cashier. With her eyes scanning all the delicious smelling baked goods, she found what she was finally looking for.

Only to find out the last one was just sold to the person in front of her. With a heavy heart, Chaewon sighed deeply and grabbed a similar looking bread filled with vanilla cream and placed it on her tray. After paying for her meal, she found a completely empty table on the corner most part of the cafeteria. Placing her tray down, she tosses the bulgogi around with her chopsticks before eating a spoonful of rice. She tried her best to not be discouraged, reassuring herself that at least there would be something to look forward to two weeks from now. As her eyes wandered and looked at other students laughing and having a good time with friends, she can’t help but feel sad at seeing the chocolate filled bread. Chaewon being deep in thought meant she wasn’t able to hear someone place their tray next to her. She looked down at her meal until her view was replaced with a still packaged bread. With her eyes widening slightly, she turned to her right and saw you extending out your arm. You nudge your hand holding the bread towards her once more, telling her to take it. Despite her hesitance, the excitement and slight amount of drool coming out of Chaewon’s mouth has reassured you that the right choice was made giving up the still warm pastry.

The two of you make eye contact and you give her a small, comforting smile. This causes her to smile back in return and gently take the bread. You and Chaewon eat in silence - with the occasional eye contact and smiles continuing to be exchanged.

--

You and Park Chaewon quickly became friends - a fact that neither of you knew was that you were now each other’s first friend. The two of you talking to each other earned a lot of stolen glances and whispers amongst classmates, but that too subsided over time. It became commonplace for the two of you to share meals together during school and after studying at the nearby food stands outside the front gates.

You helped bring the best out in each other: you learned the importance of being patient and to not let your emotions get the better of you. Chaewon gained self-confidence to stand up for herself and to properly voice her concerns should they arise. Both of you became well known in your classroom and the neighboring ones; mainly due to the occasional people who tried to bully or tease her soon learning why they shouldn’t mess with her - or anyone else for that matter. Chaewon gradually was able to overcome her shyness and make more friends, expanding both of your social outreach in the school.

Just as quickly as the school year began, it ended. For the most part it was largely uneventful. Except for the one older student who was able to go home early when he was chased by a swarm of angry bees which caused him to jump into the fountain in the middle of the campus courtyard. You and Chaewon continued to grow close as friends, becoming almost as inseparable as Ash and Pikachu.

Summer was a different story. You weren’t able to see Chaewon much due to a rather long family vacation that included a month overseas. While you were disappointed, Chaewon was even moreso. She didn’t tell you, but she spent the first week of summer break planning out a list of places and things to do with you.

“Hey I’m sorry Gwonnie, this came so unexpectedly. They never want to go anywhere, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. With how things are looking, I probably won’t be back until about a week before the new school year begins.” you said during a phone conversation with Chaewon.

“Oh no it’s fine…” Chaewon replied, trying and being unsuccessful with hiding the sadness in her voice. You didn’t want to disappoint her - she had spent the last few months excited about summer vacation and would ask you questions about your interests and what you would be willing to try.

“I’ll make sure to bring back some snacks and other souvenir goodies. How does that sound, best friend?”

The two of you warmed up to calling each other that - something Chaewon took very seriously. She brought up the term when you were both at a bubble tea cafe stating she never had a friend she could open up to and be herself. Until now.

“Tch, yeah okay.” she replied nonchalantly. “... and maybe some bread?”

--

The sounds of the opening bell and students running across the grassy football field and outside area signifies the beginning of another school year. Park Chaewon held onto the straps of her new mint green colored backpack, happily humming along to the song her headphones were currently playing. Being an upperclassman meant she finally got her own locker - something she has been looking forward to since she woke up. Removing one of the earbuds, she was able to hear what a few passing students were saying.

“Did you hear? She’s going to confess to the handsome oppa.”

“No way, are you serious? Let’s go check it out!”

Tilting her head in confusion, Chaewon shrugged her shoulders and continued walking down the long hallway. Distracted by the thought of something else, she passed by a small gathering of people without so much as a glance.

Various clusters of students watched as two people stood near the steps and between two rows of lockers. The familiar sounds of murmurs, whispers and a few students taking out their phones to record what was happening added to the anticipation. The girl shyly moved her foot back and forth as she looked down, unable to make eye contact with the person she was standing across from. With her left hand appearing to hold something behind her back, she used her right to tuck several bangs behind her ear. She was able to use that to muster up the courage and tilt her head up.

She is the epitome of a beautiful person: long luscious brown hair, bright big eyes, fair skin that almost represented the color of a block of tofu, and proportions that would make even a supermodel envious. Her nametag rested neatly above her coat’s pocket. Word spread quickly of the new junior’s beauty - with many waiting outside her classroom holding notes and various gifts. It was then known that she rejected them all kindly. At least, that’s what the rumor mill around the school said. So it comes as a surprise that she suddenly showed interest in someone, an upperclassman at that.

“I… I’ve liked you for a long time now, oppa.” she timidly said, presenting what she was holding behind her - a bouquet of red and white roses. Her cheeks blushed as she gathered up confidence and continued. “Will you go out with me?”

Her sudden confession earned cheers and applause from the audience. Several commented on how they didn’t expect her to be so bold on the first day of the school year. Some of the people who tried asking her out looked away in disappointment. But eventually all eyes were on you, awaiting your response.

Looking around - being the center of attention was something you actively tried to avoid. Your brain began processing the new information you were given and actively trying to find the best outcome to get yourself out of the current situation. You’d like to imagine that inside your mind were miniature versions of yourself working on a desk, stacks of paper on either side of your computer as you were busily typing away. Another version of yourself wearing a golf visor suddenly approaches.

“Just got an order from the boss. Dump everything that isn’t about how to reject someone!”

“Everything?” you asked yourself in confusion.

“Everything! Come on, let’s move it!”

With your visor self putting his hands on his hips, the entire department is thrown into chaos as the regular employee versions of yourself begin to run around frantically. Announcements of asking where the nearest shredder is could be heard as you held a giant stack of papers and began to run it through. Papers labeled as spice garden tips, top 5 bubble tea flavors, and what bread Park Chaewon liked were seen being destroyed.

“Come on, let’s get moving!” Visor you yelled as he approached another version of you who was standing in front of an open cabinet. “Hurry up, what do you think I’m paying you for?”

“You don’t pay me. We don’t even exist. We’re just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.”

“One more crack like that and you’re out of here!” Visor you said as his momentary surprise turned into a frown of disappointment.

“No, please! I have three kids!” you begged.

A trashcan is then filled with a box labeled math while yet another version of you is shoveling piles of paper on the ground into an industrial furnace. You were slightly squeamish watching paper being slowly flushed down the toilet. The once well-oiled machine of your mind became a chaotic office full of flying paper and employees losing their sanity. Having the appearance of nothingness in your eyes and with your mouth slightly open, the girl brings you back to your senses.

“Well oppa, how do you feel?” she asked.

Thankfully for your mental well-being, your knight in shining armor appears in the form of a girl carrying a guitar with one strap and a chocolate-dipped peppero in another. Closing the locker door, she gathers the attention of you both.

“Wow, you’re outright flirting with him.”

“What?”

Using the peppero as a pointer she continued. “You’re wearing makeup even though it’s against school rules to do so. Your eyeliner isn’t even winged properly. Your hair is dyed which is again, also against the rules. You got him a bouquet of roses without even taking into consideration if he is allergic to them or not. And finally you’re wearing mint green colored socks. I just felt like bringing that up because I hate the color mint green.”

“Son Hyejoo…” the girl said, squinting as she reads the name tag. “Aren’t you from class 2? You guys are from game development so you wouldn’t understand how to have any social or relationship skills.” she smugly replied.

Hyejoo took the peppero out of her mouth and kept her neutral, slightly intimidating look. “What does being in game development have to do with social skills? Would you even approach him if he was just a normal guy?”

The girl smiled while grimacing and ignored her, looking at you instead. “So oppa, what do you say? Will you go out with me?”

“I thought about it and I don’t think I’ll have time to date you.” you said, putting your arm around Hyejoo’s shoulder. Hyejoo cheekily smiled as she twisted her lips to the right side of her face. “I’ll be busy with Hyejoo.”

The two of you looked at each other and smiled. 

“I just look at her face and time flies.”

“Not in front of her.” Hyejoo pretends to be embarrassed and hits your shoulder slightly. You wrap your arm around her back and bring her closer to you. At this point, both of your faces are mere centimeters apart. Hyejoo becomes more bold and continues to lessen the distance until both of your noses are touching. She tilts her head and looks at the girl once more.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Do you want to watch us kiss?”

“Don’t mind her. Just focus on me.” you said, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. The two of you tilt your faces and are about to kiss as you hear the girl scoff and turn away. Both of you see her walking away before turning back once more and letting out another sigh of disapproval. With her leaving meant the crowd of people began to disperse - some disappointed she was rejected and many wondering who the person named Son Hyejoo is.

Once everyone was gone, Hyejoo hit your chest and pushed you away from her while you began to laugh. “Did you see that? I told you she was jealous. She only liked you because it would increase her popularity! That’s so gross.”

“Thanks for saving me though, I really appreciate it.” you said to Hyejoo, pinching her cheek. This causes her to rub the newly sensitive area before she crosses her arms.

“What are you going to do about all her fanboys coming after you?” Hyejoo asked. The thought never occurred to you that she was the most popular girl at school. Whether you accepted or rejected her confession, there was bound to be trouble headed your way. You weren’t given very long to ponder as you noticed someone walking through the now empty area.

“Park Chaewon!”

She turned her head and removed her left earbud. Chaewon was excited to finally see you after being apart the entire summer. Tossing and turning the entire night due to excitement, she began to approach you but stopped when she noticed Hyejoo standing next to you. The intimidating and chic aura she exuded could be felt as Chaewon rubbed her arms and shuddered. This was further supported by her being a few inches taller and the way the sunlight from the windows shined on her hair and created a ray of light surrounding Hyejoo.

“H-Hey.”

“How’s my best friend doing? Sorry I wasn’t able to hang out with you all summer. I promise I’ll make up for it starting today.” you said, bringing her in for a hug. Chaewon is caught off guard when her face suddenly meets your chest. She discreetly inhales your scent - lavender with a hint of jasmine. Not expecting feminine aromas to be lingering on you, Chaewon grabs onto your coat and releases what you could only describe as the cutest sneeze you have ever heard. Despite Hyejoo’s facial expression looking the same, you were certain she was surprised at what just happened. You laughed and patted Chaewon on her back.

“Oh by the way, I forgot to introduce you two. Chaewon, this is Son Hyejoo. A family friend and someone who has a very big staring problem.”

“I do not.” Hyejoo said, hitting your arm. “It’s nice to meet you. Oppa’s told me all about you, unnie.”

“Unnie?” Chaewon said, looking at you.

“Did I not mention that? Yeah, Hyejoo’s younger than you by a year.” you said, fixing Chaewon’s ribbon and straightening out her jacket. Satisfied with your work, you reach into your pocket and take out a hairpin before putting it on the side of her head.

“Hyejoo and I were planning on hanging out and playing video games after school. Do you want to join us?”

“Y-Yeah, sure.” Chaewon quietly replied.

“Great! We’ll all meet at the statue outside the front gate. See you at lunch, best friend.” you said to Chaewon before putting your arm around Hyejoo’s shoulders. You raised your hand and flashed a peace sign, showing a homemade bracelet on your wrist. Chaewon looked down at a similar one of her own - the two of you having made it in art class with your initials and the date you first met. She wasn’t sure how she felt other than disappointed seeing you be close with someone else. Chaewon continued to look on as you and Hyejoo walked away; able to faintly hear you asking Hyejoo what she wanted for lunch and her nudging your ribs with her elbow as she unsuccessfully tried to remove herself from your embrace while the two of you started laughing until you were no longer audible.

--

The walk from school to your house was awkward to say the least. Chaewon had her head down the entire time and simply responded with a few words whenever you tried beginning a conversation. Hyejoo on the other hand stared at Chaewon’s backpack the entire time - the only reason it being a mint green color. She has been very outspoken about her strong dislike for bubble tea and mint chocolate.

Entering the passcode triggers a catchy jingle, signaling the door being unlocked. As the three of you remove your shoes, you are the first to step foot inside the apartment. You place your backpack on a chair before turning around and see Chaewon appear uneasy.

“My parents are always busy working so I have the whole place to myself. Make yourselves at home.”

Chaewon looks at Hyejoo who quickly went to the kitchen before timidly taking her first steps - Hyejoo was a curious individual; scanning the entire inside of your refrigerator with a 360-like view while Chaewon bowed and apologized for intruding, despite no one else being home. The apartment was sleek and modern due to having been recently built. Your parents liked to consider themselves in the upper middle class of the income spectrum. While their principles were built upon the motto that hard work and being humble are essential to a successful person - it’s also nice to treat yourself once in a while.

“Seriously, you guys are out of banana milk?” Hyejoo asked you as she closed the refrigerator door shut and carried a bowl of cut up watermelon to the sofa.

“How could we not be when you drink two almost everyday. You really should cut down on it.” You said, sitting next to her and stealing a piece that was pierced with her fork. Hyejoo shot you a death glare while you smirked and pretended not to acknowledge her.

“It seems like you know your way around here.” Chaewon quietly said to Hyejoo.

“She lives next door so she’s been here everyday. Like a sister I never asked for.” you replied, rolling your eyes as you were met with a punch to the shoulder by Hyejoo.

“Are we going to keep talking or are we going to finally play some games?” Hyejoo asked as she held a controller. You grabbed the remote and instantly changed the television settings, all the while looking at her.

“Prepare to be destroyed, Son Hyejoo.”

You gave Chaewon a controller of her own before powering up the gaming console. It was white in design with a gray base on the bottom. The familiar light blue elongated oval began to glow as Hyejoo went through a cabinet and found the perfect game for you all to play.

“What did you choose?” you asked.

“Mario Kart. Didn’t really feel like playing Smash or Battle Revolution.”

“Are you sure? You always lost at the last leg of the course.”

Hyejoo looked at you as if you insulted her entire family lineage. Furrowing her eyebrows, she pouted before composing herself and stuck her tongue out slightly as her expression changed.

“I will defeat you and shred your cart all the way down to its last atom.”

While the two of you were going back and forth over who was the better gamer, Chaewon remained quiet. She felt out of place - she considered you her best friend and yet it seemed you had better chemistry with someone she just met. She wasn’t sure what to do until your question shook her out of her thoughts.

“What character do you want to play, best friend?”

“A-Anything is fine.”

“You should be Toad then. I think it really suits you. What about you, Professor Watermelon?”

“I told you I hate that nickname.” Hyejoo said. “It’s almost as bad as when you call me Olivia Hye.”

“Why? I think it’s great! Did you know that Olivia is a common English name that has its origin from the 13th century meaning olive? You agree with me right, best friend?” you asked as both you and Hyejoo turned to Chaewon.

“I-I think calling her Hyejoo is fine.”

“Man, you guys are no fun. Olivia Hye would make a perfect stage name!”

“Enough. I want to play already. I choose Yoshi.” Hyejoo said.

“I choose Metal Mario. What map are we going on?”

“Coconut Mall is the best one.”

The game is getting ready to begin and all three of you are getting into position. As the timer counts down on screen, you wipe the sweat from your hands onto your pants in anticipation. Hyejoo wastes no time and takes an early lead when the announcer states you can go. She navigates the course with ease, choosing the upper elevator. You are in pursuit using several Boost Pads to gain speed. The two of you are constantly taking the lead over one another, something that frustrates Hyejoo as she bites down on the lower part of her tongue.

While Hyejoo is busy collecting coins and several more Boost Pads, Chaewon is having difficulty navigating through the course. Her character Toad is a cute humanoid mushroom with a white cap and red polka dots. Currently in 12th place, the odds of Chaewon winning seem grim. She is a full four seconds behind the two of you. The race continues on and a Hyejoo victory is all but inevitable. With the last leg of the race being in the parking lot mall, she continues her commanding lead. Seeing Chaewon not having fun, you toss your controller and take hers, startling her. You begin the ascent from last place, passing your own vehicle and all others as Chaewon looks at you before focusing her attention on the television screen. Hyejoo smirks before realizing you were helping Chaewon catch up. Fourth place became third and pretty soon it was back to where it started - you and Hyejoo neck and neck as the finish line was in sight.

“I’m sorry, oppa.” is all Hyejoo says to you before you see a bright yellow banana peel being thrown on the road. With the momentum being built up and rendering you unable to stop, you run over it, causing your cart to spin out of control and crash. Hyejoo cheers while you hang your head in disappointment. Chaewon comforts you, patting your back softly as you look to her and smile.

“You’re buying dinner.” Hyejoo teased as she stuck her tongue out at you. Glaring your eyes at her in unapproval, you raised your hands up and admitted defeat.

“You chose that map because you knew you’d win!” you protested as Hyejoo crossed her arms and smirked in satisfaction. You turned to Chaewon who was grabbing your controllers and organizing them into one neat pile.

“What do you want to eat?” you asked.

“I… actually have to get going.” Chaewon replied.

“Already? But it’s a Friday night, there’s no school tomorrow.”

“I told my mom I would be home early. Thanks for having me over. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Wait, hold up. Let me get my jacket really quick and then I’ll walk you home.”

“No, it’s fine. I can get home by myself.” Chaewon quickly said as put on her shoes and bowed to you and Hyejoo before leaving.

“O-Okay.” you softly said as the tone of the door being locked rang through the apartment. You looked to Hyejoo who was busy scrolling through her phone.

“She’ll be okay, right?” you asked.

“She’ll be fine. She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. What do you want to eat? I’m in the mood for some grilled bbq and kimchi, yum.” Hyejoo said, her eyes remaining glued to the phone screen.

“Seriously? When aren’t you hungry? Just get me whatever you’re having.”

Still worried about Chaewon, you pondered calling her and staying on the line until she got home. Your phone then started ringing.

“Hey, are you home already? That was quick.” you cheerfully said.

“O-Oppa…”

“Chaewon, what’s wrong?”

“C-Can you stay on the phone with me? I think someone’s following me.”

You quickly got up, startling Hyejoo. Your face became serious as you began to process what Chaewon was saying.

“Where are you?”

“I-I don’t know. There’s a-an alley and the light looks like it’s about to die out. Please hurry oppa, I’m really scared.”

“Just use your phone’s flashlight and talk to me like you’re talking to a parent. I’ll be there soon.”

You went to your room to put on a jacket and mask as Hyejoo peeked her head from above the sofa.

“Where are you going?”

“Watch the place while I’m gone. And order some extra food while you’re at it.” you said, stumbling as you struggled to put on your shoes and leave the apartment. Once out on the sidewalk, you looked everywhere frantically about where to begin looking for Chaewon.

“What route did you take from my place?”

“Yeah mom, we go down to Jeju every year. You like seeing the waterfall and cave, remember?”

South. With a clear direction in mind, you set off to find her. The early evening as some would call it meant a busy night scene. Restaurants open until the middle of the night, bright neon fluorescent signs that are like a signal to summon rowdy patrons to gather and exchange in alcohol and grilled meats. You passed by various couples enjoying a date or a group of friends looking to unwind after a stressful work week. Unsure of where to go next, you continued questioning Chaewon.

“What do you see near you?”

“Mom, do you remember when you got me those cute stickers from the vending machine and I used to put them on everything. Or how we used to buy Cheetos from the convenience store and walk home together? I miss those days.”

You were determined to find her, even if your legs gave out. Taking a sharp left turn and a subsequent right while almost getting hit by a car who honked their horn at you, you finally found her. Looking around nearby to find the suspicious person, there wasn’t anyone else in sight as you brought Chaewon into a hug. You took off your mask, watching as the chilly night air gave form to your heavy breathing. Chaewon’s eyes began to water as she started crying into your clothes. You brought her closer to you and gently stroked the back of her head.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

The two of you help calm each other down before you release her from your embrace. Chaewon looks up and sees you smile before your expression changes.

“Why did you go home by yourself? I told you I’d walk you home!” you yelled, scaring her.

“Our places aren’t that far apart. I thought it would be fine.” she said quietly.

“Next time, Hyejoo or I are going to walk you home and that’s that.” you said, crossing your arms and regaining your composure.

“Why? You spent the entire day talking to Hyejoo more than me.”

“Why? Because I care about you, that’s why!”

--

8:02 AM. It’s a morning unlike any other as Detective-in-training Park Chaewon takes her seat in the briefing room. Having spent three years as a beat cop, she was excited to finally get hands on experience and advance up the promotional ladder.

“Happy Tactical Village Day!” a woman said to each person in the room, high fiving them in the process. She was extremely bright and cheerful, possessing a smile that could melt away anyone’s troubles. She turned to Chaewon and raised her hand, earning a soft hi-touch in response.

“Jung Jinsol, I’m surprised to see you so excited about departmentally mandated training exercises.” Captain Jo Haseul said, simultaneously addressing the woman along with the rest of the people in the briefing room.

“It’s the most fun day of the year!” Jinsol said, beaming. “Something you wouldn’t understand because you’re not programmed to feel joy.”

“Yes… But, my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.”

Jinsol folded her lips into her mouth and covered it with her hand. Others nearby tried their best to suppress their snickers as the captain continued.

“Pick a partner and stick with them. This is a team building exercise - I don’t mind you all having fun, but be responsible. Make sure to be on your best behavior and show everyone why Blockberry Precinct is the best precinct in our area. Dismissed.”

“Want to be partners?” Jinsol said, turning to Chaewon and batting her eyes repeatedly.

“I guess…” she replied. “But I too am due for an exuberance upgrade.”

--

One extremely long bus ride later, the squad arrived at the site of the training exercise. Various other precincts were also in attendance as Chaewon admired the building. It was rather dated and had seen better days, but she didn’t care. She was thankful to finally be given a chance to prove herself.

“I can’t wait for this to be over.” Jinsol whined.

“What? You were going on and on about how excited you were to be here. What happened?”

“I don’t actually look forward to being here. I enjoy getting the free souvenir bags and food they serve after. The meat melts in your mouth.” Jinsol explained as a small amount of drool began to seep out of the corner of her lips.

Shaking her head, Chaewon opened a duffel bag given to her by the event organizers and began going through the checklist to make sure everything was accounted for. As she fixes her safety glasses, she hears a familiar voice.

“Park Chaewon?”

 It was a voice she knew all too well. But she didn’t want to believe it was real. Someone who was once an important part of her life. Sighing, she turned around - a slight hope that her premonition wouldn’t be true. But her instincts never failed her before, so why would they now.

“H-Hi, oppa.”

“It’s been a long time.” you cheerfully said as you awkwardly pulled her in for a hug. Chaewon raised her hands to reciprocate but stopped halfway. The two of you stayed like that for several seconds before separating.

“Hyejoo, you’re here too.” Chaewon said.

“You don’t sound excited to see me.” Hyejoo coolly replied before tilting her head sideways and also giving Chaewon a hug. This time, Chaewon really did not know what to do and repeated the same lifeless motion she did with you.

“Small world, I really didn’t expect to see you here.” you said.

“Me neither…” Chaewon said as her voice still remained at its extremely low volume.

“Happy Tactical Village Day!” Jinsol announced to you and Hyejoo, her warm and inviting smile breaking the tension.

“I’ve heard of you, Jung Jinsol right? The famous rookie who managed to talk down the Treble Clef robber by doing a duet and singing in the rain?” you said, extending out your hand to shake Jinsol’s, only to be met with her high fiving you.

“That’s me! He wanted to send a love letter to his dearly beloved by writing, err, more like carving musical notes onto his victims. I didn’t know other precincts knew about me!” She said excitedly.

“I guess you guys are competing in the tag team free for all? Good luck.” you said, focusing your attention back to Chaewon. Her eyes briefly met yours, causing her to look away. With a slight tint of red on her cheeks, she felt the temperature in the room drop slightly only to see Hyejoo pass by.

“ Son Hyejoo, wait up! I’ll see you guys out on the field!” you said, waving to Chaewon and Jinsol as you ran to catch up to your dark haired partner.

--

“Everyone, listen up. There are ten hostages and thirty perps. Your mission is to safely rescue the hostages while eliminating the perps. Be careful as some of them could be disguised as civilians. The training exercise ends in two hours. Begin.”

Park Chaewon points her modified paintball gun at an empty room as her specialized glasses relay create a personal heads-up display displaying all of the information needed. She scanned the room for any clues but was disappointed to find out it was simply empty.

“Clear.” she relayed through an in-ear piece.

“I’m hungry. I knew we should’ve eaten more before this. I'm hungry, don’t want to gain weight.” Jinsol whined as Chaewon slowly walked through a hallway and entered another room.

“Seriously, unnie? It hasn’t even been thirty minutes since we last ate.”

“You call three pieces of carrot and some cashews eating? I can’t believe it took you twenty minutes to eat those by the way.”

“Focus. Is there anything on your end?”

“No, room two is clear also. What do you think about getting crepes?”

“You talk about not wanting to gain weight but want to eat crepes?” Chaewon asked.

“But have you tried Nutella crepes with banana slices? They are to die for.”

“I’m not going to cook them for you, unnie.” “I wasn’t expecting you to. Especially since the last time you were in the kitchen, the precinct almost got burnt down. I mean really, who puts a cake from the bakery with the metal tin still attached and reheats it for forty minutes? We had to air out every floor and it still wasn’t enough.”

“Not to mention the Captain calling me Chaewon Ramsay.” Chaewon whined.

“I remember that.” Jinsol said, laughing loudly into Chaewon’s ear, causing her to flinch. “You want to talk about where the lamb sauce is, it surely wasn’t in the Blockberry Precinct’s now defunct microwave.”

“One last room.” Chaewon replied, focusing her attention back onto the mission. “I’ll see you there.” Navigating through the almost endless hallway, Chaewon makes a left and looks up to see sets of stairs that could almost reach the sky. With a deep breath, she begins to climb. The first ten sets provided little difficulty, but as she continued on, Chaewon felt herself growing fatigued. The sign indicating what floor she was currently on began to increase in number. She was certain she climbed 99 floors - but in actuality it was probably twenty. Dragging herself up the final ten steps, she leaned against the wall only to see another pair of shoes standing next to her. Looking up she finds Jinsol, still possessing her patented warm smile.

“H-How did you get here…” Chaewon blurted out, swallowing her own saliva as she felt her mouth be dehydrated.

“You know there was an elevator, right?”

The two women point their guns in the air, looking at each other before entering the open final room. Their glasses showed no signs of life - but as the two go deeper inside, Chaewon finds the outline of a woman on the ground. Using two fingers, she looks to Jinsol and tells her for both of them to go straight ahead. Entering another room, they find Son Hyejoo on the ground with her hands tied behind her back and a bandana around her mouth.

Chaewon quickly rushes to her and helps her up while Jinsol removes the pieces of cloth. Hyejoo looks at her before pulling her in for a tight hug. Chaewon pats her back as the two embrace each other.

“Unnie’s here. It’s okay, Hyejoo.”

“Thank goodness you’re here. One of the civilians went off script and decided they wanted to be a perp.”

“Really? That’s pretty strange. I thought most of the people labeled as civilians don’t really care what role they got.” Jinsol said.

“I guess not.” Hyejoo replied. “I was trailing them but got caught here.”

“Let’s go find them then and win this thing.” Chaewon said, standing up and extending her hand out to help Hyejoo. As she is about to take it, someone else enters the room.

“Hey Hyejoo, why did you ask that guy if you two could trade-”

A whirl of blue paint passes by Chaewon followed by a grunt as she and Jinsol turn around to see you, having been shot by your own partner. You looked down at the giant blue stain on your vest as the pain began to gather at where you were targeted. With everyone still in a state of shock, Jinsol reaches for her gun but is shot too. Chaewon’s gun is still in her hand but knows she is unable to do anything.

“I’m sorry, unnie.” Son Hyejoo said as Chaewon herself is eliminated, thus ending the training exercise. It felt eerily similar to when the three of you played Mario Kart and Hyejoo betrayed you both. The same mischievousness seems to have not been lost with time.

--

After a fresh change of clothes, the four of you gathered outside the training facility. Chaewon was no longer a blonde, though a fair amount of it could still be seen through her now darker color. She wore a slightly see through black dress with various jewels that adorned it, showing the faintest amount of cleavage. It was a blend of tasteful and awe inspiring. Her grey colored contacts and bright red lipstick were the key points that stood out to you.

“You guys want to grab a drink? I know a pretty cozy spot nearby here.” you said to the group.

“I uh… just realized I can’t. I… gotta go meet my boyfriend.” Jinsol said, winking at Chaewon before bowing to you and Hyejoo. Chaewon tried preventing her from leaving but was unsuccessful at stopping her.

“What do you say? We’re one person down, but that doesn't mean we can’t catch up like old times.”

Chaewon looked at you both and smiled nervously.

--

The bar you brought up had seen better days. The decor was dated with wooden tables and various sized bar stools spread out. Various neon signs were burned out, with a sign that said ‘Quality Drinks Here’ having been reduced to ‘Quality Drinks Her’. Despite all this, it seemed to still have regular customers as well as a wall adorned with alcohol bottles.

“This place is such a dump, why did you choose it?” Hyejoo asked.

The reason why presented itself. An attractive woman tending the bar was always a sure fire way to get customers to come in, and you were no different. Her long light brown hair with blonde highlights ended past her stomach. Saying she was easy on the eyes was an understatement. The mole on her right cheek and near her left eye were accentuated by her winged eyeliner and pink eyeshadow. Her fair skin only helped in bringing out her beauty even more.

“Hey there.” she said, her deep voice unexpected compared to her appearance. “Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“Work’s been keeping me busy. How are things?”

“Same old. Drunk old guys drinking away their problems and ignoring their wives calling them. Creeps trying to hit on me and ask for my number. So you know. The usual. I see you’ve brought company.” She said as she wiped down the counter and placed coasters in front of the three of you.

“Yeah. They’re old friends of mine. This is Park Chaewon.” you said, introducing her to your left. “While the creature on the right here is called Son Hyejoo.” This introduction earned you a punch to the arm from Hyejoo as the bartender laughed softly.

“You two are certainly pretty.” she said as she grabbed a few bottles from the wall to replace the ones in front of her. She then grabbed a packet of straws and placed them under her side of the bar.

“What can I get you guys tonight?”

“I’ll take a beer. Something smooth. And dark. What about you guys?”

As Chaewon pondered what to order, Hyejoo instantly knew what she wanted.

“I’ll take sex on the beach. Make it really dirty.”

“A fine choice. We don’t really get requests for that much.” the bartender said with a smile. “And for you?”

“A virgin Cuba libre…”

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that one more time? I couldn’t hear you.” she said, placing her index finger behind her ear and leaning closer.

“I wanted a virgin Cuba libre…”

“Isn’t that just a cup of cola with ice and a lemon wedge?” you asked.

“Nothing wrong with that at all.” the bartender said, scolding you. “Don’t mind him. Your drinks are coming right up.

The bartender quickly got to work, making a show of tossing bottles into the air and grabbing them successfully while pouring exact measurements into a metal container and making sure they were shaken, not stirred. She finished Hyejoo’s drink in record time, placing it on the coaster with a paper umbrella as a decoration. Reaching into the mini fridge behind her, she grabbed a dark amber colored bottle of beer and popped open the cap for you. With Chaewon’s drink, she placed a rocks glass on the coaster; using a pair of plastic tongs to put three ice cubes and adding the carbonated beverage. Slicing a lime wedge, she wiped the rim of the glass with it before squeezing several drops into the drink.

“Hope you all enjoy it.” she said before tending to other customers.

Hyejoo wafted the scent of her drink into her mouth before taking a sip. The liquid was slightly bitter, but not something she couldn’t handle. She bit on the lime wedge and puckered her lips.

“Not bad… I see why you come here. She’s cute.”

“That’s not the only reason why I come here, Hyejoo.”

“Why else would any other guy be here if there wasn’t a smoking hot bartender?”

“The quality of the drinks has improved ever since she started working.”

Hyejoo rolled her eyes as she removed the paper umbrella and continued to drink. You turned to Chaewon who swirled her drink around.

“How’s yours?” you asked.

“It’s fine.” she quietly replied.

“So, how have you been? Hyejoo and I lost contact with you after you dropped out a month before graduation.”

“I’ve been okay.. Hoping I finally get promoted to detective.” Chaewon said.

“I believe in you. You were always great at whatever you did.” you said, smiling softly at her. “And hey look at this.”

Chaewon turned her attention from her drink to you to see your wrist still adorning the bracelet the two of you made all those years ago. A sudden wave of emotions washed over her. She knew she had to excuse herself immediately.

“I… gotta go.” Chaewon said as she suddenly left the bar.

“You know she likes you, right?” Hyejoo said, getting your attention.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I could see it in her eyes from the moment I met her. She’s liked you as more than just a friend. And you are too dense to admit the same.”

“I like Chaewon as a friend, Hyejoo.”

“Friends don’t make bracelets together with their initials and the date they met unless they’re girls or a couple. They certainly don’t drop everything and try to find someone in the middle of the night. Plus, while your actions make it seem like all your attention is on me, I know Chaewon is in your heart. The question is, are you going to stop lying to yourself and chase the one who got away?”

Your entire past with Chaewon is replayed in your mind as you think about her smile and the way she made you feel.

“I think I just figured something out. I gotta go.” you said to Hyejoo.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Uhh…” you looked around and approached Hyejoo slowly before kissing her forehead and exiting the bar.

“No… pay your bill! Who raised you?” she said to herself as she swirled her drink around and took another sip.

“Why didn’t you tell him how you feel?” the bartender suddenly asked as she approached Hyejoo.

“He only sees her. I missed my chance years ago.”

--

You stood outside the bar and found Chaewon sitting on a nearby bench. It was rather high, causing her feet to not touch the ground. She kicked the air repeatedly, unaware of your presence. You crossed your arms and admired her for a bit before sitting down.

“I’m not dating Hyejoo. I never did.”

“I didn’t say anything…” she said quietly.

“But you were thinking about it. Hyejoo’s just a close friend. Something you used to be as well.”

The two of you sat in silence and admired the night sky. Even through a busy metropolitan city, the stars were still able to be seen.

“I can’t live without you.”

Chaewon looked at you to see you still watching the stars, pointing at a few of them as you smiled.

“Without you, whether it be a month or a day, the time I spend becomes meaningless to me. This was the conclusion I came to when I saw you again at the training exercise today. I’m sure you don’t understand what I’m talking about, though…”

Chaewon continued to look at you, not saying anything. You were embarrassed at what you just said and began to look away. She however, held your face and stared into your eyes before bringing you closer to her and planting a tender kiss on the lips. You opened your eyes and saw the same smile she had when you shared the special bread with her in the cafeteria.

--

One quick taxi ride later, Chaewon was about to enter your apartment for the very first time. The two of you stumbled into your apartment, laughing the entire time. From an outsider point of view, they probably would’ve thought you were both drunk. And to an extent, they were right. You two were drunk off each other.

Only your coats made it onto the couch as a discarded pile of clothes traced your steps into the bedroom. She led you to your bed, with you reduced to only wearing your boxers. Chaewon looked nervous, something you picked up on right away.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“N-No. I want this. I want you, oppa.”

Chaewon gave you a quick peck before sinking onto her knees in front of you. She was met with your boxers pitching a tent. Grabbing the top hem, she slowly pulled them down. Your cock throbbed once newly exposed to the cool air, almost hitting her in the face.

She looked at your cock curiously. You felt her slim fingers wrap themselves around your base into a fist. She gave a slightly firm squeeze, causing you to moan. She began with slow strokes, seemingly preparing you for what was to come. She noticed you beginning to leak, running her thumb through it and earning herself a breathless gasp from you in the process. She brought it close to her nose and sniffed it. You laughed as she continued. The juxtaposition of Chaewon’s large eyes and innocent features contrasting her sinful action was a sight to behold.

“I’ve never done this before, oppa. Is it supposed to take this long?”

“For what? For me to cum?” you asked. Chaewon nodded.

“I… actually released a load in the shower after the training exercise.” you embarrassingly admitted.

Chaewon nodded in genuine interest as she continued pumping your shaft in her small hand. You threw your head back in satisfaction as you weren’t aware you were using her fist as a sort of fleshlight. Her grip increased as she began to stroke you faster.

“M-Maybe you could put it in your mouth?” you asked, scared Chaewon would say no.

“I just… have never done it before.”

“That’s okay. I’ll help guide you. I guess you could start with licking the precum that’s leaking out.”

Chaewon did as she was told, flattening her tongue and swiping the colorless liquid from you. She repeated this several times, causing the head of your cock to be wet. You didn’t tell her, but she spit on your dick and began to spread it all over with her hand and also by puckering her lips. It surprised you that she knew how to do that for claiming to have never given a blowjob before. But then again, it wouldn’t be difficult to know given everything is one simple internet click away. Your cock was beginning to be covered in Chaewon’s saliva as she meticulously applied it all over.

“Maybe you could massage my balls too? They’re sensitive so you have to be really careful.”

With her right hand stroking and lathering you, her left fondled your balls. The stimulation from both of your hands felt amazing, it caused the baby hairs on your body to stand erect while sending electric jolts of pleasure to your spine.

Chaewon seemed to be getting the hang of things, but now was the real test. She gave the underside of your shaft one smooth continuous lick until she found her way to your tip. Wetting her own lips, she grabbed onto both of your thighs and finally took you inside your mouth. You held your breath as you felt her wrapping her lips around the tip of your cock. A moan of satisfaction was released as her soft lips began to work their magic.

While you were sure she was telling the truth about not having done it before, it seemed Chaewon had been practicing somehow as she was constantly trying to keep her teeth out of the way and hurting you.

“Fuck... princess, that feels so good…”

Chaewon began extending past your tip, adding an inch into her mouth as she hollowed her cheeks. Her soft lips felt like heaven as she slowly became a soft ball of hair taking more and more of your length. It was moot at this point to continue instructing her - Chaewon flattened her tongue again and you felt it coating the underside of your shaft, sending even more pleasure coursing through your body. You closed your eyes and savored the wonderful sounds of Chaewon slurping on your dick, thoroughly covering you in her saliva. You felt her nose reach your base a few times, with her releasing you from the warm confines of her mouth after she gagged and was unable to continue. Your cock glistened as a saliva bubble formed just below where the tip and shaft connected. Thin strands of saliva connected you and Chaewon together as she sliced through them and giggled.

“That was amazing.” you said. As much as you loved having her in between your legs, you were ready for the main event. You helped her off her knees and gently pushed her onto the bed.

It seemed the years were kind to Chaewon - she was the perfect mix of toned, while possessed a hint of curviness. Her thighs were deceptively thick; and soft to the touch as you spread them open. You began by feeling how smooth they were before planting several kisses on them. You made a trail that slowly ascended, doing so on both of them before kissing the inner creases of the apex of her thighs. She was already sensitive, her body reacting to every contact from your lips. Like you, Chaewon also began to leak out as you stuck your tongue out to consume it. The taste was like sweet nectar, something you were happy she was releasing for you.

“F-Fuck, that feels so good…”

It was the first time you heard Chaewon curse, and with what was next, you knew it was only the beginning. You parted her damp folds with your thumbs and lowered your head to begin exploring her moist cavern. Chaewon’s body bucked upwards from the pleasure as your tongue continued to excavate the sweet nectar she possessed. You gently bit on her clit, causing her to scream in arousal as her thighs wrapped themselves around your head and pushed you deeper.

Her eyes became half-lidded and consumed by desire as you continuously lapped up her juices while stimulating her folds.

“O-Oppa, keep going. Please… don’t stop!”

It was beginning to be a bit difficult to breathe, but you were happy knowing Chaewon was on the receiving end of pleasure. You traced two fingers against her inner folds before sinking them inside her. She was extremely tight - her walls immediately latching onto and squeezing you. Your thumb remained outside, rubbing her clit as you repeatedly moved your fingers in and out of her pussy. It didn’t take long for Chaewon to achieve her euphoric bliss.

“Oppa!” she screamed loudly as it finally arrived. Removing your fingers just in time, you parted your lips and stuck your tongue out as her hips frantically raised upwards while thighs squeezed your head even harder. You could feel her toes curl as Chaewon’s orgasm caused her entire body to react. Her sweet essence coated your mouth and cheeks as she drowned you in pleasure.

You tried your best to consume it all but it proved to be too much as Chaewon continuously released her lovely juices. Violent aftershocks continued on as you helped her begin to descend from her orgasmic high. You rubbed her sensitive clit and stimulated her until you could feel her thighs hold on your head begin to weaken.

“You did so well, princess.” you said, smiling. Her juices stained your lips and chin as you planted tender kisses in between her legs.

“I-I... fuck… intens- fuck…”

She was still drunk from the orgasm you gave her. You continued praising her and kissing her thighs as she gradually began to recover and return to normal. Once she does, you embrace her and place her sweat-kissed body on top of yours.

Chaewon ran her hands through your hair as your lips found their way to her nipples, gently sucking on them as she moaned out in pleasure. Your hands did not remain idle - roaming every inch of her skin until resting on her soft bottom.

“C-Can you fuck me now? Please, oppa?”

“How do you want it, princess?” you asked.

“Can… can I ride you?” she shyly asked.

“I’d love that.”

“Wait.” she said, kissing your lips as she got off you and went to her nightstand. You turned to your side and saw her rummaging inside a drawer looking for something. Most of its contents were various night creams and lip gloss, and what appeared to be a phallic-shaped device. You were about to ask if you could help when she closed it and held something behind her back.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Something for me, but also something for you.” she said, biting her lower lip seductively. She grabbed your wrists and wrapped a thin black lace material around them before tying them together. She repeated the process to your eyes. You didn’t expect this side of her, but then again, you didn’t expect to currently be in bed with her either.

“They say sensory deprivation provides an even better experience for both partners.” Chaewon said.

She rubbed her splayed lips against your length several times before reaching below herself and guiding you inside for the very first time. The two of you let out a loud sigh of relief as your tip parted her. She was warm, wet, and dangerously tight. Her body refused to let you go, sinking your cock deeper.

“Oh fuck…” she exhaled loudly as she firmly planted her hands on your chest. She raised her hips until only your tip was inside her before slamming herself back down. She did this several times to warm the both of you up. Eventually, she placed her hands on either side of your head as her lips met yours. The two of you explored each other’s mouths as your tongues danced an elegant tango. It was as if your cock explored a newer part of her pussy with each deep entrance.

Being unable to move your hands or see Chaewon heightened your other senses even more. You were able to feel how tight she was bouncing up and down on your cock. The sounds of her moans that were like music to your ears. The smell of sweat and sex releasing natural pheromones making you want this moment to never end. But as the tightness in your abdomen continued to grow, you knew it wouldn’t be possible.

She bounced herself softly up and down five more times until she felt you raise your hips to match hers. There was nothing else either of you could have done - it was inevitable. Your cock began to throb as a warning before you finally exploded inside her. You moaned in satisfaction as you released shot after shot of thick, hot semen into her waiting pussy. Chaewon’s walls clenched against your shaft, suffocating it, which only caused you to unload more.

Her lower body felt flushed as she could feel it beginning to leak out and stain her thighs. Both of you were exhausted, but fully satisfied. She gathered her remaining strength and raised her hips from yours, removing the blindfold and laced restraint on your wrists. The two of you savored the feeling of each inch being withdrawn from her slowly. As you both struggled to catch your breath, you held each other tightly as you poked her nose and kissed the top of her forehead. Chaewon traced her name on your chest and fixed your damp, out of place hair.

The plan was originally intended to be you and Chaewon taking a shower together and getting clean. Which the two of you managed to do until you didn’t. Due to the simple nature of being in the shower with a naked woman, your cock grew hard in her hand as she was cleaning you. Making sure to go to the area where the water wasn’t at, Chaewon lathered your cock in soapy suds while you used a loofah and did the same to her thighs. It seemed both of you were thinking the same thing as she turned around and faced away from you.

Grabbing onto her surprisingly wide hips, her thighs squeezed your pulsing shaft in between them. With both of you soaped up, there was minimal effort required as your cock slid through with relative ease. Your hands held onto her as you remained patient and were awarded with savoring the feeling of her heavenly soft thighs and how the top of your cock rubbed against the bottom of her pussy lips.

You kissed Chaewon’s beautiful shoulders and the back of her neck as you continued your suffocatingly slow thrusts. Her warm thighs continued to hug your cock until you erupted. Although it was much weaker and a smaller amount, it was no less pleasurable. You continued to fuck her thighs as she made sure to milk you for all you had left. Your initial two ropes of semen splattered on the glass door loudly. Gradually decreasing the already slow speed of your thrusts while riding out your orgasm, Chaewon softly rubbed her cute butt against your crotch until you stopped.

The two of you properly washed off this time before stepping out of the shower and wrapping yourselves together with one towel. You held Chaewon tightly as the two of you gave each other steamy kisses that mirrored the hot shower just now. Not even bothering to put on clothes, the two of you plopped onto the bed. With one final tender kiss, you savored being in each other’s embrace and quickly drifted off to sleep.

--

“... and that’s how oppa and I started off our morning.” Kim Jungeun could be heard saying.

Park Chaewon opened up her eyes, rubbing the sleep and exhaustion out of them. She blinked several times before her vision readjusted and was greeted with a disapproving frown from Jungeun.

“Seriously…” she complained. “You asked me to tell you why oppa and I were late and you fell asleep during my story.”

“I’m sorry.” Chaewon said. “Been having problems sleeping at home lately.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah… just got a lot on my mind I guess.”

“Things will get better. They always do.”

“Thanks.”

The break room door opens and you enter, greeting Chaewon and Jungeun. You give Chaewon a fist bump before approaching Jungeun who puckers her lips, asking for a kiss. You smiled and honored her request. The loud smack of your lips connecting and disconnecting causes her to smirk in satisfaction.

“I thought you hated kissing at work?” you asked.

“How could I when your lips always taste so yummy… I mean, it’s not like I l-like you or anything. Pig.” Jungeun said, quickly switching from disgustingly sweet to the tsundere, chic woman she was well known as. This earned soft claps from Chaewon, causing Jungeun to groan.

“As expected of the supreme leader.”

The three of you were beginning to discuss where to go for lunch when the break room door is opened once again.

“Oppa. Lieutenant’s looking for you. Says she has some helpful information about a case you’re working on?”

“Got it. Thanks, Hyejoo. Guess we’ll have to take a raincheck on lunch together.” you said, getting up out of your seat. You waved to Chaewon who raised her eyebrows and smiled while kissing Jungeun’s forehead, who didn’t bother to get out of her seat and instead tilted her head up towards you. You flashed them both a peace sign.

“Wait, oppa. What is this?” Jungeun asked, grabbing your wrist which was adorned with a beaded bracelet.

“Oh this?” you said, holding it up. “I found it while cleaning through my things. Hadn’t worn it in years but decided today would be a good day to start. I’ll see you guys later.”

“I’ll call you.” you mouthed to Jungeun before exiting the break room with Hyejoo. Jungeun blushed and couldn’t contain her smile as she happily sipped on her iced americano. She turned to Chaewon who lost all color on her face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“That bracelet…”

[obsidianfr3sk]

five valentine’s day that went wrong and one that (almost) didn’t

@queercreators event 02: romance — [ five valentine’s day that went wrong and one the (almost) didn’t ]      [ “Five Things” Fic ] “

dedicated to my dear Reneweys [ @nodrianbcyes @honey-hippie-harper​ @healing-winston-pratt @alecjamesartino @bluenoctuary-art @everyone-has-a-nightmare ] ♡

Summary: They always managed to ruin their Valentine's Days one way or another, but it didn't matter. Because there was no way they could ruin what the two of them had.Boy, he would like to see someone try.

AO3

Well, hello there!!! It’s been a while since the last time I posted something x’d I know I always say the same thing but it’s true skjdfhkjdfs I started this fic during the first week of febreary when I had this shot of adrenaline and started to do a lot of creative stuff, and originally I wanted to post this during Valentine’s Day, but... the shot of adrenaline passed x’d and let me to deal with this alone.

As you can see for the description, this a “Five Thing” fic. At first I wanted to post each chapter seperately, but idk, it seem a little bit... weird x’d so, here in Tumblr, the six chapters are all in one post. If you don’t like the format, but want to read the fic, you can find it on AO3! Don’t forget to leave kudos and a comment if you liked it:’)

Now... I’m not used to write happy sttuf in general x’d AND I’M LESS USED TO WRITE HAPPY STUFF ABOUT HUGH AND SIMON BECAUSE SKJDFHKJDSF the angst, dudes:))) but I think I did. Like... I actually wrote a fluffy fic:’) I’m so proud of myself dkjfhkfdshjk

Tag list: @the-lady-with-the-pen @chiyuki-hiro @all-weather-is-bad @styeenza

First try

Year 2

It was the second Valentine's Day after the beginning of the Age of Anarchy, and the capacity that the human being had to adapt themselves to the most terrible of conditions never ceased to amaze him. The economy had collapsed, the government had fallen, his school was practically one of the last ones still in open, and there was a “fucking junkie” ruling the city...

But the world celebrated Valentine's Day anyway.

Or at least in his class did.

The teacher had brought a bunch of cardboard boxes, that looked like she had fought with some tramps to get them (which she probably did, they were too many boxes for one person to generate) (unless she was a crazy person who collected boxes). She gave one to each one of her students, took out the last bottles of paint, pieces of colored cardboard, and rusty scissors, and then told them that today they were going to learn how to make a mailbox.

At first, Hugh had no idea what turning a box into a mailbox had to do with the curriculum the school was supposed to follow. It's not like people sent a lot of letters anyway. But when the girls got excited, he remembered that February 14 was something like an important date. And then, he remembered an activity that they did during his first year, when everyone decorated a box for their classmates to put letters and sweets in it.

First year… And now he was in his third year.

Time flies by.

After telling them which parts to cut into (Hugh had to share his scissors with other three classmates because there weren't enough for everyone), she invited them to pick the decorations they wanted to put on their mailboxes. The girls pounced on the pink, red, and even white paint, while most of the boys laughed, saying it was a stupid activity and they didn't want to do it. Hugh felt the urge to agree, but he didn't

He had already tried to make them like him. It hadn't worked for him.

So he grabbed a bottle of navy blue paint, some cartoon bear stickers, some notebook paper, and a bitten pencil. That would be enough to make his mailbox and his cards.

After a while, he started to have a good time. Crafts had never been his strong suit, but he was proud of how it ended up looking. One couldn’t tell his mailbox used to be a cereal box because the paint he used was so dark, that it only needed two coats of it and it dried much faster than Abernathy’s, who had practically finished the pink paint trying to hide the face of that missing child in the milk carton box the teacher gave to her. Hugh realized that she was holding her tears back, and as the good classmate that he was, he told her not to worry, that the missing child could be decoration if she painted him a mustache or something, and it would look very funny. Abernathy, far from finding it funny, acted super offended, assuring she had never met a child as rude and insensitive as Hugh Everhart, and she ran out of the classroom, hiding her face in her hands and screaming like a baby.

Unfortunately, the rest of his class agreed with her, and when it came time to deliver the cards, Hugh did not receive a single one. Although he doubted it had anything to do with that missing boy thing.

They wouldn't have given him anything anyway.

He wasn't sure if they knew he was a prodigy. Maybe they had noticed that it wasn't normal that Hugh had practically broken a chair in two when he placed his backpack on it to get something out, or that he had left the PE teacher unconscious when he accidentally threw a ball at his face while they were playing soccer. The teachers, if they noticed, didn't say anything. After all, that school was supposed to be only for normal kids.

Not prodigies. 

But children could be very insightful. Most likely, they did notice and therefore did not want to be associate with him.

Or maybe— 

Maybe they just didn't want to hang out with Hugh, because of… that.

Because he was Hugh.

He decided to wait for everyone else to leave before starting to cry (or before breaking another chair, whichever came first). Or at least that was what he was about to do when he heard that someone had come up with the same idea as him and started crying first. 

Simon Westwood had never been too talkative. Even before his older sister and mother died, he liked to sit at the last table, not speaking to anyone, and some older kids were constantly picking on him, without any teacher trying to do anything to stop them.

Not that Hugh was paying much attention to him or something.

The teacher practically ran to see what was going on with Simon Westwood, asking him what happened and why hadn’t he finished decorating his mailbox. Simon Westwood tried to explain it to her, but he was mumbling his words so neither the teacher nor Hugh could understand what he was saying. 

Hugh didn’t get mad with him though. His mom had died. His sister died too, a couple of weeks later. He wouldn’t be in the mood for doing cheesy crafts if the same had happened to him. But the teacher wasn’t as benevolent as him, and started to say things like she was trying really hard to bring joy to her students, and that she was sure that if he tried a little bit harder, he would be able to enjoy Valentine’s Day, like the rest of them. 

“Let’s see what nice things your classmates have said about you,” she exclaimed. But that only made Simon Westwood start crying again.

No one had given him a card. 

Like… no one.

And Hugh was listening to all of this conversation, just sitting there, trying to stay as stiff as he could so they wouldn’t notice he was there (as if he weren’t literally right in front of them). Seeing Simon cried like that made him think that maybe he was just acting though when the other kids laugh at him because of his looks, his ratty old clothes (older and rattier than theirs), or just—

His mind exploded. 

He suddenly understood why the other kids didn't like Simon Westwood. It was before he was him.

Just like how they didn’t like Hugh Everhart because he was Hugh Everhart. 

When the teacher went out of the classroom with Simon, saying something about calling his dad (although he knew they wouldn’t be able to do that, since no one had a functioning phone those days), he took one of the cards he did for his classmates, cards that he never gave to them, and put one inside Simon Westwood’s mailbox/cereal box. He had left his backpack and his things there. When he came back to take them home, he would see the card too.

A voice in his head told him to get out of there before he came back, but another one told him to stay. Maybe Simon Westwood and he could be friends. Maybe he would understand what it felt like to be hated just for the way you were born. Maybe he was a prodigy too. 

Or maybe he wasn’t.

He couldn’t take that chance. 

So Hugh went home, but promised Simon Westwood (and himself) he would keep an eye on him. 

After all, friends were there to have each other’s back. 

Because they were friends, even if Simon didn't know it yet.

Second try

Year 9

They were friends. 

He had never seen Hugh before meeting him on that alley where Simon got his powers. Like— he had seen him because he was in the same class as him, but he hadn't really seen him. During his childhood years, Simon was more focused on other things. Like being a little depressed and anxious ball with skinny legs and skinny arms, for example.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t depressed or anxious now. Nor it was he had gotten super muscular all of the sudden, like Hugh (he had always been bigger than the other kids, but he practically turned twelve and already looked like a teenager, except for the voice and the face). 

But at that moment, he wasn’t depressed or anxious. He felt weirdly at peace. 

He and Hugh were walking down the street, thinking about which store were they going to rob that day to get dinner for them and their families, when Simon noticed a couple holding hands in front of an abandoned café. She had dark hair and he had blue eyes, which looked at his girlfriend as if she was the Virgin Mary or something. Then, she kissed him and gave him a small blue flower and a heart-shaped card. The guy looked so moved by the gesture that he kissed her on the lips again, with so much more passion than before. 

Simon looked away before they realized he was looking at them, not only because he didn’t want to come off as creepy, but also because he knew how awkward he would feel if they started to make out or something. 

“Love is in the air,” Hugh sang.

Simon chuckled. “You noticed them too?”

“I noticed them when she gave him the flower,” he told him. “I had never seen a girl giving flowers to a guy before.”

“Times have changed, I guess. That’s why they don’t feel uncomfortable giving such public displays of affection. Kids in our day weren’t like that.”

“I know, right?” said Hugh continuing with the joke. “They are so perverted. There are children present, for God’s sake.”

Simon chuckled again and Hugh stopped to tie his shoe. While he was there, Simon noticed he was throwing glances at them. 

“You know, giving them the death stare isn’t gonna prevent them from being in love,” Simon told him.

“I can try,” Hugh joked. Then, he shook his head. “It’s not that. I just—”

He waited for him a couple of seconds before asking, “Just what?”

He finally answered, “Someday we’ll have something like that.”

Simon frowned. “Huh?”

“You know,” Hugh mumbled. “We’ll have girlfriends and— and all of that.”

“Oh!” Simon exclaimed. “Yeah, someday, yeah.”

But before Simon could keep talking about it (or just develop some opinion on the topic) Hugh shrugged and urged him to keep walking. “I guess. I didn’t even remember today was Valentine’s Day though. They were my reminder—” he turned around and waved at them “—Thank you, exhibitionists, you reminded me what day is it!”

Now, Hugh probably didn’t mean for them to hear him say that. Simon knew him well enough to know Hugh thought he wasn’t being loud, but the thing was… Hugh was always loud. He could be “whispering” and the whole neighborhood would hear him ask Simon if he knew how bars with strippers worked because he did know, and wanted to brag about it. Then, Simon would feel embarrassed, because, in fact, he didn’t know how bars with strippers work.

Simon immediately turned around and realized the girl was looking at them with an expression he couldn’t read. He turned invisible and pushed Hugh inside of an alley, hoping those trashcans hid them well enough in case the guy turned out to be a freaking animal and wanted to kick their flat asses for calling them exhibitionists. 

Simon felt the anxiety kicking in, when Hugh started laughing so loud, that said anxiety turn into the need of punching him really hard on the arm.

So he did it. Multiple times.

“Dude, dude, shut the fuck up, dude,” Simon said keeping his voice low (because he could keep his voice down, unlike others), “that guy’s gonna kick our asses, for real. Dudeeee—”

But his voice kinda cracked when he said that “Dudeee—” and that made Hugh laugh even more, so Simon kept punching him, using a vocabulary that would make the most dangerous of gangster blush. And he probably would have kept hitting him, if the anxiety of being discovered hadn't been overshadowed by how weird it made him feel to see his best friend laugh.

When Hugh laughed, his cheeks would turn red and his eyes would water. They could be in the most embarrassing situation ever, one where no one was laughing, and if he found it funny, he was going to do it, because he wasn't going to be able to help it. And it wasn't like Simon would stop him, either. Not at all. He liked it when he laughed. 

Even though he ended up making him laugh too. Like at that moment.

Most of the garbage ended up in the drains, the sidewalk, or anywhere else except where it belonged, the trash can. Generally, Hugh always refused when someone hinted at sitting on the floor, precisely for that reason. However, on that occasion, the two were sitting in that stinking alley, throwing pebbles at each other, playing with some bottle caps they found on the ground, and arguing about who would win a bare-handed fight, Wonder Man or Phantom Feline.

They decided it was time to go home when a cat-sized rat appeared out of nowhere, and the two of them came out screaming like idiots, even faster than they would have run if that guy with the girlfriend would have chased them. They ran until they reached Simon's house, all sweaty and tired, their hands on their bent knees and breathing heavily.

Then Hugh laughed again. And his cheeks were flushed again, and his eyes were watery again, and he made Simon laugh again until Mr. Westwood came home from work and told him to go inside, that it was too late to be outside.

Once he was locked in his room, with his younger sister playing in the living room and his father in the kitchen, the image of that guy kissing his girlfriend did not make him feel anything. So, he tried to imagine kissing a lot of girls that he considered a thousand times more attractive, but just when it seemed that the idea was beginning to be something desirable, Hugh came back, with his laugh, his screams, and his eyes, like one of those freaking trains that he dreamed of having the opportunity to stop one day and that never missed a single chance to tell Simon all about it. 

The truth was that Simon did believe that Hugh might be able to stop a train with his bare hands, but he doubted he would be able to stop the train of thought that Simon hopped on whenever he thought of him. And he was so ashamed to know that not even the strongest prodigy on the planet was capable of doing that, that he decided to take those memories from the collar of the old blue hoodie that each one of them wore and bury them alive in the backyard of his memory.

Forever and ever.

Thrid try

Year 12

Two months ago, after their first date, Simon told Hugh he would never plan another important date, forever and ever. But now, Simon had let him plan their first Valentine's Day together without putting any objections, proving that he trusted him. And he was happy for him; Simon had always had problems when it came to trusting other people. It was nice to see the other grow to become a better person. 

And it was even nicer when you were no longer only friends, but a couple. 

So yeah, he wanted to make Valentine's Day special. It was kind of a big deal. 

Georgia and Tamaya brainstormed with him places he could take Simon to. They all agreed that it had to be a place safe enough and that it wouldn't put them in a situation where they had to reveal their powers, and by consequence, their secret identities. But then, everything started going downhill, especially because Georgia had some very odd ideas (like something about flowers, a choreographed dance, and poetry) and Tamaya was as romantic as a rock (“Just don't end up nearly killing yourself in front of him, that should be enough.”)

It was February 13th, and Hugh was on his cot, a bit angry at Georgia and Tamaya, not only because they couldn't help him on such an important mission as they promised, but also because they blamed him for their failure, telling him that he "had no imagination" and that he "thought with his dick", just because he thought all their ideas were horrible. 

Maybe he should have phrased that better... 

Simon and Evander slept on the bunk bed Simon used to share with his younger sister. Simon was taking a shower, so he was all alone with Evander and Kasumi, who sometimes went there to visit her best friend, even if Tamaya told her not to do it because it smelled horrible in there and she would bring the odor to the girl’s bedroom (Hugh thought the room didn't smell bad at all, and if it did, it was because Evander acted like he was living in the street yesterday and had no sense of personal hygiene). But Kasumi didn’t seem to mind, and she spent most of her afternoons cuddling with Evander on the top bunk, while she read an old book and Evander read one of Simon’s comics (because Hugh would join the Anarchists before letting Evander touch his comics).

They started whispering at each other about who knows what, and even though he kind of wanted to know what they were talking about, he was just too tired, so he decided to put a pillow on his face and try to fall asleep. But then, he heard, quite clearly, that they said his name. 

And he couldn’t let slip that. 

He pulled the pillow off his face, and said, “What are you saying about me?”

They both peered over the edge of the bunk. “We were talking about how you're not good at romance,” Evander replied.

The audacity of that b— boy.

“You are eleven years old," he told him. “What are you going to know about romance?”

“No more than you,” Kasumi acknowledged, very solemnly.

Hugh made his “See?” face and he looked away.

Then, Evander asked, “Why don’t you take him to Cosmopolis Park?”

Oh, stars. He couldn’t be serious.

Cosmopolis Park.

A freaking theme park. 

Evander was eleven, all right. His idea of a date was probably something out of a princess movie he and Kasumi watched from time to time (sometimes Tamaya joined them too and she always acted like she was just watching it to make fun of it, even though everyone in the house knew she had a weird soft spot for cheesy princess movies). But Hugh was technically an adult now. He should know better, and knowing better was not taking your boyfriend to a theme park for Valentine’s Day. That wasn’t very romantic.

“What a stupid idea.”

Kasumi got red all of the sudden. For the look at Evander’s face, Hugh knew he had fucked up even before she said, “It was my idea…”

“Oh— no, Zoomie, I… what I meant was that—”

“Don’t fix it, bro,” Evander interrupted him. “You’re gonna make me want to punch you more.”

He wasn’t afraid of Evander punching him because he couldn’t compare a kid’s strength to his, but he obeyed him and mumbled a small, “Sorry.”

The “sorry” was for Kasumi though, not for Evander. If Kasumi hadn’t been there, he probably would have told Evander something like “Oh, yeah? You’re gonna punch me, little punk? Come on, punch me, don’t be a pussy” (and then Georgia would have stormed into the room, telling him not to use the word “pussy”, and they would have pointed at each other saying “He started it!”)

After giving him a goodnight kiss, Kasumi got off Evander’s bed, with the book under her arm. Before leaving the room, she knelt beside Hugh to kiss him goodnight, as to show his comment didn’t cause her to feel any kind of resentment towards him.

Because of course it didn’t. Kasumi was like that.

“I was just saying— Valentine’s Day is also a day to be with friends,” she whispered. “And you and Simon are not only boyfriends but also... you know, friends. I bet that wherever you take him, it'd be magical for both of you. Because you find magic in each other's company, even before you knew you were in love. So... why not?”

She turned off the lights on her way out.

He never thought Kasumi’s tendency to romanticize everything was odd or weird. It was something that he expected from a teenage girl, especially one who has such a vivid imagination. But he also never expected that imagination would help him in some way. And he never expected for her to say the exact words he wanted to hear, even before he knew he wanted to hear them.

She was so wise.

Cosmopolis Park didn’t sound like a bad idea anymore when Simon entered just after Kasumi, wearing his pajamas, and asked him with a teasing voice, “So… where are you gonna take me tomorrow?”

Hugh didn’t know if Evander was already asleep, so he just smiled at him and told him it was a surprise. Simon rolled his eyes and gave him a soft kiss on the nose before getting into his own bed. 

It was his way of telling him he trusted him. And relationships were supposed to be built upon trust. He didn't need anyone to tell him that.

As far as he knew, Simon hadn't been to Cosmopolis Park in years, probably before the Age of Anarchy began. It was no secret that the park was currently full of gangs and drug addicts but it was still a relatively peaceful place. At least peaceful enough that the park was full of families, groups of friends, and tons of couples.

Although there weren’t any couples...

Well, there weren’t any couples like them.

He wondered if Simon noticed that small detail too, but when he turned to ask him that, he knew it would be better if he just kept his comments to himself. Because he wasn't an expert reading other people's emotions, but Simon...

Simon looked so happy at the moment.

The two walked side by side, their shoulders brushing against each other's, but their hands tucked deep into their pockets. Hugh was trying to keep his eyes fixed forward to avoid bumping into anyone, but the small chuckles Simon let out every time he saw something that surprised him, made said task impossible. Suddenly, he no longer wanted to avoid the embarrassment that would cause him to bother someone by bumping into them; he wanted to look at him.

He wanted to look at him trying to hide his laughter by covering his mouth with his hand, as if he wanted to suppress some kind of dark feeling, without realizing that his joy was so full of light that it was practically impossible. He wanted to continue to see how his dark eyes, with very long lashes and deep bags under the eyes, perfectly captured the lights of the Ferris wheel and the food trucks. He wanted to see the tiny smile he had the entire time they were at the park because even if Simon didn't smile like that very often, when he did, Hugh felt as if he was witnessing the most wonderful of miracles.

Hugh took his hands out of his pocket, and when he turned his attention back to Simon, he was looking at him too. They stopped in their tracks, not caring that people passed around them, sometimes unintentionally pushing them a bit or stepping on their shoelaces. 

Hugh took a step forward and Simon did too. 

Then Simon pulled a hand out of his grey jacket's pocket, making him wonder if he was dreaming or if it was really going to happen.

Hugh held his breath and felt the blood rush to his face, along with the overwhelming feeling that everyone around him was staring at them, with the newly acquired gift of recognizing those two faces that always hid behind pair of colorful masks and now were gazing at each other with true devotion. He desperately wanted to know what was going through their heads, he wanted to know if they still considered them worthy of their admiration and respect, and he wanted to know if he had been right when he assured Simon that, someday, the two of them would hold each other in public without thinking it twice.

But then, just as Simon's fingers brushed his cheek, his attention was completely diverted to someone behind Hugh.

“Are you talking to me?” he asked awkwardly.

Hugh turned to see who his boyfriend was talking to. He was a slightly older man, juggling three balls and standing on the table of his own stand. He was smiling at Simon and he had a mustache that quite frankly made him look like a ridiculous comic villain.

“Yes, you!” and he threw a ball at Simon.

Simon covered his face with his hands, but Hugh caught the ball before it hit him.

Who did this guys think he was?

The guy, far from mocking Simon's reaction, seemed intrigued. “Do you want to win a prize, big guy?” he asked Hugh.

Hugh was ready to say no to him in the kindest way he could, when the guy pulled out a laundry basket, like the one Georgia put on his head every Sunday, saying "Laundry time!" in a voice so high that made birds explode. 

“You just have to throw that ball you have in your hand—” he raised the basket “—here. And you can win a prize.”

He finally gave him a chance to reply. “No, thank you, we’re fine.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets again and told Simon to keep going. But the guy did not give up.

“I see,” he crooned from afar. “Your dad didn't play ball with you and that's why you don't think you're capable of throwing it correctly. It’s fine.”

Simon put his hand to his mouth as if thinking "Oh, stars, he did not."

And Hugh looked at him as if thinking "Oh, but he did."

If that guy knew who he was talking to, he would probably think it twice before making comments to strangers mocking their lack of a father figure.

So he turned abruptly and threw the ball into the basket.

If Hugh had been a little calmer, he probably would have been able to remember that, before leaving the house, Tamaya had told him that theme parks were full of games that had the sole purpose of scamming people and that one of them was that game in particular. The balls bounced so much that even if they made contact with the bottom of the basket they would jump back to whoever threw it, making them technically lose.

He would also have listened to himself, to Hugh, who told him that it would be best to turn around and get on with their lives, and not to Captain Chromium, who was determined to win that freaking game because he won every single game the world put in his way. 

After three balls, the guy turned to Simon, extended his hand at him, and told him, “It's fifteen dollars.”

That was enough to make him lose his mind. Hugh told him that it was not worth arguing with him, but Captain Chromium did not tolerate that people tried to take advantage of him, and he spent about ten minutes screaming with the mustachioed man, until Simon panicked (or lost his mind), grabbed one of the balls and threw it right in the man’s eye.

Then, he did take Hugh by the hand.

But just to be sure they both got out of there before someone tried to stop them.

They ended the evening at a hamburger stand several blocks away from Cosmopolis Park (because obviously, they weren't going to stay there after the show they had put on). They did not have enough money to buy two sodas, but they bought a strawberry juice carton to share and sat on the sidewalk to eat their hamburgers of doubtful provenance, ranting against the man, against the park, and, especially, against those damn balls.

“I can't believe there are people like him breathing the same oxygen I breathe,” Simon commented, before taking a bite out of his burger ravenously. “He had no right to make that joke.”

But Hugh was so distracted by how attractive Simon looked when he bit his hamburger like that all he could say was:

“If my dad knew I couldn't win that stupid game, he would abandon me again.”

Simon frowned a little bit, repeating the sentence in his head until he finally understood the joke, and laughed so hard he began to choke with his food. Hugh started to panic and told Simon he would give him five back blows like he read he should do when someone started to choke. That was enough for Simon to spit his food on a napkin. Both were so grossed out by it, that they started laughing again. Simon hid his face on Hugh's shoulder, practically using his fit of laughter as an excuse to snuggle against him, and Hugh used his own angriness as an excuse to stay right there, telling the entire world to go to hell, and willing to keep doing it forever, just as long as the conversation didn't end and they had to go home. 

Georgia and Tamaya would kill them. It was already late at night. 

Fourth try

Year 17

It was already late night when they arrived at the motel.

Simon had stayed invisible the entire time they were at the reception like he always did when they had one of those more… private nights out. Hugh was the one who was in charge of booking the room because Simon got too anxious anyway at the mere idea of ​​having to interact with one of the receptionists.

It was one thing for his entire family (or the Council, as they had been calling themselves lately, as a joke) to know that tonight he was going to have sex. Strangers knowing it was a completely different thing.

He still wasn't quite sure which one was more embarrassing, but yeah. It was different.

He only became visible again when Hugh closed the door behind him.

Simon looked at the huge sports bag that Hugh carried with him. “What you got there?”

“Nothing important,” he assured with a shrug. He was smiling like he was a kid getting a bunch of presents at Christmas, and Simon was extremely happy too, so, without asking any more questions, he kissed him on the lips and went to the bathroom to give both of them time to get ready.

Not that they hadn't done that before. They didn't like having such intimate moments in the house. And even if they had wanted to, it was practically impossible to have even a minute of privacy there. The last time he had slept in a room by himself had probably been… never. And the number of occasions someone had opened the bathroom door while he was there were more than he could count. The door lock had been broken for a few weeks but nobody knew how to solve the problem because they had no idea how doors worked. Georgia had tried to implement a serious policy of knocking before entering any room with the door closed, but the only one who paid attention to her was Adrian because the rest of them were simply too used to walk around the house as if they were in their own houses. (That they were their house, but it was more Simon's house than theirs.)

In fact, it was the first time in forever that he was in a bathroom and he didn't have to put his hand on the door, to stop whoever tried to open the door before they ended up seeing him in the most vulnerable of positions, so Simon took off his T-shirt, his jeans, and sat on the toilet, wearing his underwear and his jacket, trying to enjoy his first moment of privacy in a long time.

At least until his legs started to feel cold and Hugh told him that he could go out now.

When he came out of the room, Hugh, who was lying on the bed, widened his eyes. Simon was already ready to hear a flattering comment, but instead, he frowned and asked, “Are you going to leave your socks on?”

Simon looked at his feet automatically. He had indeed left his socks on.

He didn't see anything wrong with it.

“The carpet is filthy,” he replied. “I don't want to get fungus or something like that.”

Hugh found no fault with his logic. “Okay, but take them off when you get on the bed,” he asked.

Then Simon realized that Hugh, not only never stopped doing that ridiculous pose that pretended to be sexy throughout the entire conversation, but he also had thrown out the (probably dirty) bedsheets from the motel bed and put instead one of the blankets they took out of the closet to cover themselves during winter.

So that's what he carried in his sports backpack.

Hugh seemed to realize that Simon was looking at the blanket and not at him, because he immediately said, “Oh, I hate motel bedsheets.”

Simon couldn't help but laugh. “You hate them?”

Hugh finally stopped doing that ridiculous pose and sat down. “You just never know who sleep in them before us, Simon,” he replied, “and you never know when was the last time they washed them. Maybe they— ” he pointed to the pile of blankets thrown away “—are covered on the… bodily fluids of twenty other people, and you want me to lie on them? Is that how you want us to make love? Like animals?”

Simon kept laughing, but Hugh wasn’t laughing. “Simon, stop it!” he exclaimed. “A new class of bacteria could be there, ‘cause— oh, I am convinced that those things have a new kind of bacteria no one has discovered yet, and— ”

And he went silent when Simon put his hands on his shoulders, still with a smile on his lips.

“What?”

“Hugh, have I ever told you I think you're really sexy when you out crazy me?” Simon asked, running his fingers through his hair.

Hugh stood still, looking directly into his eyes. “No, I think you haven’t.”

Simon shrugged. “Well— I think you're really, really, sexy when you out crazy me.”

“Well, I think… I think—“

Hugh could no longer continue his sentence. Even though Simon wasn't doing anything to stop him from speaking.

He was literally just standing in front of him, one knee leaning on the mattress and one hand on Hugh's head.

“You think?” he asked him. “That’s new.”

“Simon, wait, I'm trying to seduce you,” Hugh said.

Simon took a step back, pointing to the bathroom door. “I think I’d wait over there.”

“No, wait—” he gently grabbed his wrist before he could move further away “—I’m starting to… Let me think of something.”

Simon chuckled. He put his knee on the mattress again and Hugh grabbed him around his waist, pulling him close to him and resting his head on his chest, while Simon rested his chin on his head. He had just taken a bath when they came out of the house, so Hugh’s hair smelled of him and lemon zest because they have been using dish soap as shampoo the last week.

That was the kind of privacy that they sometimes lacked at home. He was no longer talking about sex. Simon craved to have him like this, so close to him. Both in their underwear, both in a practically unknown place, and both completely vulnerable, but together. Feeling at home, even if technically they weren't.

Because Hugh was his home.

He was sure he saw him that way too.

Simon was so focused on trying to capture that moment in his memory so that he could repeat it over and over again for the rest of his life, that he was totally thrown when Hugh blurted out:

“I think you have a nice dick, dude.”

Simon broke the hug ... “What?”

Hugh’s cheeks turned even redder. “Tell me I didn't say that.”

He put a hand up to try to hide his laughter. “No, I think you did.”

He still couldn’t believe that was Hugh’s best try to seduce him. And apparently, Hugh couldn't believe it either.

“Then— forget about it,” he stammered. “Let's all of us forget about it.”

Simon realized that he tried to grab him by the waist again, but he moved away just in time, pretending to be extremely offended. “So I don't have a nice dick.”

“Let's just stop saying the word dick, please.”

“You started it.”

“I PANICKED, ALL RIGHT?”

“PANICKING IS MY JOB!”

“I’M TAKING YOUR JOB THEN. AND I’M GONNA STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND TOO IF YOU KEEP LAUGHING!”

Simon didn't try to pretend that he wasn't laughing, because he was more than aware that it was already too obvious at this point. 

So he decided it was better to play along.

“No, don't take my boyfriend!” he exclaimed dramatically, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Take me instead.”

Hugh took him by the waist and pulled him close. Simon didn't try to walk away this time. “Deal.”

But when Simon was about to start kissing him, he diverted his attention from Hugh for a split second, making him realize the curtains were wide open. “Oh, shoot, wait— the curtains.”

Luckily he hadn’t taken off his socks yet.

With quick steps, he headed to the window. He put a hand on each curtain and was about to close it completely when the lights of a car approaching from the end of the street caught his attention. It was a yellow sports car that looked more like a ripe banana than a vehicle.

Shit.

It stopped a few feet past the motel they were at. Out of it came a short man, with scars on his face and thin hair, and a tall blonde woman in a yellow dress, very inappropriate for the occasion. Not because it was provocative thought. It’s just that no one would wear such an expensive-looking dress in such a dangerous neighborhood unless they wanted to be robbed.

Or that they had enough status not to be.

Simon turned to see Hugh. “Hey—” Hugh looked up slightly. “—Come here.”

Hugh obeyed, a little bit confused, after putting his socks on (obviously). Simon had closed the curtains just enough for them not to be noticed but also not so much that they couldn’t see what was happening on the street.

Hugh gasped. “Are those—“

Simon swallowed hard. “Cyanide and Queen Bee in person.”

“What are they doing here?” 

Simon had as much an idea of ​​what Queen Bee and Cyanide were doing there as Hugh had, but he responded with the first thing that came to his mind anyway.

“Probably celebrating Valentine's Day,” he replied. “What a shitty place to take your girlfriend during Valentine’s Day though.”

At least take her to a motel. Like I did with Hugh.

“Do you think Queen Bee and Cyanide are together?” Hugh asked Simon.

Simon shrugged. “I don't know, but I know Queen Bee has a thing for Ace Anarchy.”

He had the slight hope that Hugh would take the bait and give him a chance to discuss his theories about Queen Bee's fixation with Ace Anarchy (which he always talked about with Tamaya), but Hugh, despite being very nosy, just kept quiet, watching Queen Bee and Cyanide argue outside the car.

How could that woman walk in such big heels?

“Or maybe Cyanide is the one who has a thing for Ace Anarchy,” Hugh blurted out suddenly.

Simon turned to see him. “Wait, really?”

“Don't be so heteronormative, Simon,” he scolded him. “Plus, I've never been in the cathedral, but I bet that when you enter there, it reeks homosexuality.”

“Dude—”

“I just know.”

And they kept watching. 

There was something very personal about seeing two people arguing from a distance, like old ladies peering out of their home windows whenever the neighbors had a particularly loud fight. Simon almost considered it romantic.

Then, Queen Bee tried to turn around to turn her back on Cyanide, but something went wrong with her heel and she went face first towards the sidewalk, letting out a scream that could make someone think she was being murdered, and causing Cyanide (and the two of them) to laugh out loud.

How could that woman walk with those heels? Well, apparently, she couldn't.

The tension he felt when Cyanide interrupted his laughter and turned around as if he knew someone was watching them, made him remember that they were not gossiping old ladies peeking out of the window of their house and that those two were not some neighbors having a little fight. No, they were Dread Warden and Captain Chromium, stuffed into a hotel room like they were fugitives from the law or something, and those two little people in the middle of the street were two of the most feared and powerful villains in the world.

There was nothing romantic about that.

So Simon immediately closed the curtains. 

But now neither of them was in the mood to have sex anymore, really.

“We should do something.”

“I'm on it.”

Hugh was already crouched slightly by the bedside, pulling his unmistakable superhero suits out of his sports bag.

Simon was so puzzled that he couldn't even stop to enjoy the… image that Hugh was inadvertently giving him by bending down like that.

“Wait, did you actually bring our supersuits to our date?” he asked him.

“Yeah,” he replied without looking up.

Who knows what kind of demon got into Simon at the time, but a not very family-friendly thought crossed his mind, and that thought was the one that made him ask, “Why?”

Hugh, completely unaware of what he was thinking, handed Simon his clothes and dropped the two pairs of boots on the floor as he sat in the bed. 

Only the stars knew how he had managed to fit a blanket, their shoes, and their suits in that sports backpack.

“Because I thought something like this was gonna happen,” he explained while putting on his leggings. “You know, crime doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day the same way we do.”

Oh.

The little not very family-friendly thought hadn't been right then.

Simon felt a bit sick admitting that he wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed.

“Oh. I thought...”

Hugh looked at him, intrigued, and a second later, he understood what Simon was thinking. “Oh, stars, no. I was not thinking about that.”

“All right then.”

Now it was Hugh's turn to watch him change. Simon knew that was what he was doing.

Because he knew his look better than he knew anyone else's.

When he was fully dressed, Simon reached out to reach for his shoes, and Hugh put his own hand over his', to get his attention.

He already had the mask on, but he could see that he had turned red. If Simon had been white too, he probably would be redder than him. 

He swallowed. “Unless— unless you're into it?”

Simon swallowed too. But he didn’t plan to answer him right now.

It had been hard enough to put on their suits. They didn’t need to start taking them off. 

So he pulled his hand away and started putting on his shoes.

“Hugh, the villains—” he reminded him.

“Right, right.” Hugh brushed off his knees. “The villains. That’s important.”

After making sure the door had the lock on (and that said lock worked), they turned off the lights, Simon turned invisible, and Hugh climbed onto the roof, pushing himself off the window frame as fast as possible so that Queen Bee and Cyanide, who were turning their backs on them, standing in front of the door of an apparently abandoned building as if waiting for someone, did not see him. Afterward, Simon followed him, assuring him that he could climb on his own.

The two remained hiding behind the building's water tank. Well, Hugh was behind the building's water tank, and Simon was in plain sight, invisible, with his hood on and his cape fluttering behind him, making him feel…

He wanted to say that it made him feel heroic, but the truth was that Simon also felt very sexy when he got into this mysterious and threatening mode. 

Simon turned his hand visible and pointed at them as if to say "Are we going or what?"

Hugh turned to see them with a frown, analyzing the situation. But when Simon was about to ask him what they were waiting for, Hugh turned to see him, with the same smile he had on his face when he was about to let the world know the coolest plan of all the plans, completely ignorant that in reality, it was the dumbest thing he had ever came up with.

“Wait, I have an idea.”

And in that situation, Simon had to take the role of being the one to tell him that his idea was bullshit and that it wasn't going to work, but he used to listen to his idea before expressing his comments about it. Not only because he didn't like talking without knowing all the facts first, but because may he could go to Tamaya the next day and tell her what had happened in the last episode of Hugh Had an Idea And It Went Wrong.

(They also enjoy episodes of Evander Acted Like An Animal Again and Queen, Realize That Junkie Doesn’t Care About You, Please.)

“Do you remember that song Evander used to sing to us?” he asked him.

Oh, Simon remembered it and cringed every time he thought about it.

But the cringe wasn't enough to stop him from singing the song.

“The Warden and the Captain are sitting in a tree—”

Hugh cringed too. “That one, yes. Stars, I hate it so much—” and he pointed to Queen Bee and Cyanide “—Let's make them hate it too. ”

Simon seriously tried to take his role as the voice of reason in that situation. He let his imagination (or rather, his anxiety) run wild, making him imagine the thousand and one scenarios in which that specific fight could turn out worse than they usually did if Hugh made that comment. Queen Bee would probably call Hugh a "lesbian" (“You have a lesbian haircut, honeybun, accept it”), Cyanide would go crazy trying to find Dread Warden to melt his skin slowly and painfully, everyone would wish death upon everyone, and the only reason the fight would end would be because either Cyanide would finally manage to injure Simon or because Queen Bee’s stilettos would break.

He didn't see how teasing them with an attack worthy of elementary school kids would make the situation worst.

Besides… it was going to be hilarious to see that.

He didn't see why he couldn't co-star in Hugh Had Idea and It Went Wrong.

“I'm in,” he replied, trying not to raise his voice too much. “I'm super in.”

Hugh rose his hand and Simon high-fived him quietly. But Hugh seized the opportunity to take his hand, running his finger across his knuckles. “Okay, but you sing the spelling part, because—”

“You don't know how to spell,” Simon interrupted.

Hugh let go of his hand. “Well, when you said it in that tone, it sounds a little mean.”

Simon rolled his eyes and took his hand again. Then the logical part of his brain (yes, the same one that always insisted on being the voice of reason in situations like that) began to yell at him that he should convince Hugh to let Cyanide and Queen Bee did whatever they wanted, while the two of them did whatever they wanted.

But that the logical part of him had no voice in that situation because the logical part of his brain was not the part that loved Hugh. After all, there was nothing logical in loving the way he made a kind of mini-horn with both hands, took a deep breath, and yelled with all his might:

 “CYANIDE AND THE QUEEN BEE SITTING IN A TREE—”

Fifth try

Year 20

K-i-s-s-i-n-g.

That was what he wanted to be doing. He wanted to be kissing Simon. He wanted to be with him, walking in the park and watching life go by in front of them. The birds singing from the trees, the children chasing each other, and the wind ruffling their hair. The day was going to be so perfect that he was going to be able to ignore homeless people getting high on corners or young people dealing drugs (that should be) illegal, focusing all his attention on Simon and how happy he felt that this time, everything he was going well.

He didn't want to be crammed into the living room with the rest of his family, listening to the thunder and the rain crashing down on the ceiling.

But apparently, that's what he was doing.

Tamaya was sitting on the floor, covering herself with her wings. Simon had sat on the other end of the three-seater couch, looking out the living room window with a thoughtful expression, worthy of a character in a Shakespearean play or something. Evander was leaning over him and had Kasumi on his lap. She was watching him play (or rather trying to play) a Tetris game that he had on his phone, putting her icy feet on Hugh's arm, probably without realizing it, and Hugh was on the other end of the couch, first starting at Simon, thinking of how handsome he looked when he was thinking, and then at Georgie. She had been smart enough to sit on the reclining sofa, which gave her the space she needed to cuddle with an inconsolable six-year-old Adrian.

“The storm will end soon,” she was telling him. “The storm will end soon.”

But that was not enough to comfort Adrian. His mother had already been telling him for about an hour that “the storm will end soon”, but the storm just ... did not end. And each time they heard a new thunder, Adrian let out a howl and clung to his mother with more force, asking her to please not go away.

Everyone knew that when Adrian asked Georgie not to go away, he was actually asking everyone not to go away. If any of them left the room, he would probably lose his mind.

He felt the urge to tell him that she wasn't going anywhere. That wasn’t very Georgie. Georgie didn't leave people who needed her like that, scared, crying, and begging her to stay. So since Georgie didn't do it, neither did the others.

It is not like they could have gone anywhere though.

Georgie realized that Simon hadn't stopped staring out the window.

“I'm sorry you couldn't do anything special this Valentine’s Day,” she whispered. Simon blinked as if he were waking up from a dream. “What did you have planned for this evening?”

Simon turned to see him, disappointed. Hugh decided to answer for him.

“We were going to have a picnic at the park,” he replied.

Georgie blurted out something that sounded like “Awww”, and Evander scoffed.

“That’s gay.” Hugh put his arm behind Kasumi and smacked Evander on the back of his head. “BRO, YOU LITERALLY MADE LOSE ME.”

Tamaya laughed and Kasumi shook her head. “I want to play too—” she tried to take the cellphone and Evander pressed it closer to his chest “—Vandy.”

Georgie intervened (without letting go of Adrian). “Vandy, give Kasumi the phone. It’s her turn. And then it's mine.”

But Evander didn’t want to. 

“But it only has ten percent of battery left,” he exclaimed.

“Perfect, it's more than enough for Tamaya, Kasumi, Simon, Hugh, and I to get a turn too.”

“Hugh punched me! He does not deserves a turn.”

“I didn't punch him,” Hugh said. “I just hit him very slightly.”

“My brain almost felt out of my head.”

“Do you still have a brain?” Tamaya asked. Hugh high-fived her. “I've been thinking about that joke for weeks, dude.”

“Evander Wade, share the phone,” Georgia said. “I'm no longer asking.”

“No! It's my phone.”

Desperate, Tamaya reached out to take Evander's cell phone, and he stood up so fast that Kasumi ended up falling on Tamaya.

“MOTHERFU—”

A thunder. Again.

Adrian started crying. Again.

And they all went silent. Again.

Hugh took advantage of the fact that Evander got out of the coach to move closer to Simon. Evander didn't say anything to him because he was too busy handing the cell phone to Tamaya, who then gave it to Kasumi. Kasumi refused to sit down with Evander again and stayed on the floor with Tamaya (although resting her head on his knees, as if they were a pillow).

Simon rested his head on Hugh's shoulder.

“Next year will be better,” he whispered in his ear. Simon didn't answer him; he only put his hand on the window, leaving the trace of his fingers on it. “Are you all right?”

Simon put his hand on Hugh’s waist and pulled him closer to him, closing his eyes for a while. “I'm tired…”

“Rest then.”

After all…

Hugh was tried too. 

There had never been a day when they didn't have to face a new threat. It seemed that the Anarchists, instead of getting weaker, were getting stronger. Even with the many new allies the Renegades had, no one seemed to have a second of the day to rest. Adrian got more and more nervous when they went out as days passed by, and it was becoming more difficult to calm down him during his tantrums. Even he, who was a child, could feel the tension in the city.

But precisely because of that, because he was a child, he could not understand the enormous responsibility that the Renegades had on his shoulders and that they could not stay with him, no matter how much they wanted to.

Maybe that was why no one had tried to leave the room. It was their way of telling Adrian that they were still there for him.

He was about to fall asleep when Simon pulled him away. His first instinct was to pull him closer, but as soon as he realized that Simon was just standing up, he let go of him.

Suddenly, he looked happier. Much happier than anyone else in that room.

Everyone noticed that change.

“Are you still too tired to celebrate Valentine’s Day?”

Even Hugh didn't understand what he meant.

Evander turned to see Georgie. “Georgie, you told them no hanky-panky in the house.”

“Vandy—” Kasumi intervened.

“Zoomie.”

“Don't say hanky-panky.”

“Yeah, you sound like a grandma,” Tamaya told him slightly punching him on the leg.

Hugh shushed them. “Shhh, guys, let Si talk.”

“No, go on, guys—” Simon told them “—Let us show you.”

And he held out his hand.

Obviously, Hugh accepted it.

He had no idea what Simon was planning to do, but he wasn't too tired not to celebrate Valentine's.

He was never too tired of him.

Adrian immediately reacted to this. “Hey, no, don't go...” he cried, stretching his little arms towards them.

Luckily, Simon looked like he already had that covered.

“We're not going anywhere, Adrian,” Simon assured him. “You are coming with us.”

Adrian and Georgie's eyes widened at the same time. 

“Me?” Adrian asked pointing to himself.

“You,” Simon replied, confidently. “But it's a very special mission,” he added in a lower voice, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You can't tell anyone.”

Adrian rubbed his eyes and Georgie looked up at the ceiling as if she were making sure a new leak hadn't magically appeared. Tamaya, on the contrary, didn't understand, and she stared at the scene, very intrigued by Simon's plan too. Luckily, Georgie noticed it, and with a frantic movement of her hand, told her to stop staring. Hugh made the same move, but this time, directed at Kasumi and Evander.

When Adrian opened his eyes again, everyone but the two of them was pretending they weren't listening to the conversation.

“What mission is it?” Adrian asked in a thin voice.

“Look, we can't go out to celebrate Valentine's Day,” Simon explained, “but what we can do is bring Valentine's Day here with us.”

Adrian looked puzzled.

“Hey, but you're going to need a superhero name to be able to participate in the mission,” Hugh commented, trying to get Adrian more interested. “Do you have any ideas?”

Simon scratched his beard, thinking. “Hmm, very good question, my dear Captain,” he commented. “Maybe—”

“Oh, I know what superhero name I'll have,” Adrian exclaimed, grabbing Simon by the cheeks. “Hey, your beard feels funny.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks too. “What’s your superhero name, then?”

Adrian whispered it in his ear and Simon's face lit up. “It's a perfect name, Adrian.”

Adrian shushed him. “Shh, don't say my real name! I have to use my superhero name, remember? It's a mission.”

Evander scoffed again and Kasumi shushed him immediately. 

“And can he tell me your superhero name?” Hugh asked Adrian. 

Adrian stopped to think about it. “Yes, why not?” he finally replied.

Then, Simon stood slightly on tiptoe to reach him and whispered in his ear the most perfect superhero name he had ever heard.

Sketch.

Hugh took Adrian by surprise when he graved him and carried him in his arms, making him gasp in shock and excitement. Even Georgie started to laugh out loud at her son's reaction.

“Ready for the mission, Sketch?” he asked him making his voice lower than it actually was.

Adrian gave a military salute. “I was born ready, Captain!” he exclaimed, moving his feet in the air.

Georgie stood up too. “Where you taking my son, guys?” she asked dramatically.

Hugh placed Adrian on his shoulders.

“Don’t worry, mom,” Adrian told her, “I’ll be fine. I need to accomplish this mission.”

Georgie pretended to start sobbing. “No, but you don't have to, son of mine, you're too young!”

“Listen to your mother, kid,” Tamaya intervened. “Stay with us, stay safe with your family—“ and she passed her wings over Kasumi's shoulders.

“Tamaya has two wings,” Kasumi pointed out. “And they're warm.”

“Really?” Evander asked.

But Tamaya’s face changed immediately. “It's not for you, it's for Adrian.”

“GO WITH THEM, LITTLE SKETCH, GO!” Evander yelled standing up on the sofa. “GO SAVE VALENTINE’S DAY!”

That was enough for Adrian. He kissed his mother on the cheek and told her that he would be back soon. Then the three of them began their journey to the kitchen while the others stayed in the living room.

Simon pulled out a bag of bread from the refrigerator and asked Hugh to pass him the peanut and hazelnut butter jars from the cupboard. Adrian took it upon himself to count the remaining loaves of bread and separate them into pairs, spreading them on the table. Simon encouraged him to count how many pairs there were and Hugh had no problem helping him when he got stuck at number five. Then Simon toasted them on the stove, and he allowed Adrian to pile them up like a tower on a red ceramic plate.

When it was time to make the sandwiches, Simon and Hugh sat at different ends of the table, each holding a butter knife. Simon would spread peanut butter on one of the loaves, Hugh would spread hazelnut on the other, and Adrian would gather them together and wrap them the best he could in a napkin, before putting them in a makeshift basket that Kasumi had made long ago.

“Mommy, no!” yelled Adrian when Georgie dared to enter the kitchen. “It's a secret mission!”

“Don’t worry, don’t mind me,” she told them pretending not to notice what they were doing. “I'm just gonna prepare myself some strawberry milk.”

As soon as Adrian looked away, Georgie winked at Hugh. And Hugh winked back.

“I think we're done with this mission now,” he replied using that ridiculously deep voice again. “You have to break the news to the rest of the team, Sketch.”

Adrian jumped out of his chair and practically ran into the living room, holding the basket with sandwiches in his hand.

The three of them had been so into their mission, they didn't realize that the others had put several blankets on the floor and Tamaya was cursing under her breath for being unable to use a lighter to turn on the candles. Kasumi approached Adrian, with a VHS in each of her hands, asking him which movie he would like to see, and Evander came over too, but to try and tell Adrian to pick the action movie, not the romance movie the girls wanted to see.

Simon seemed like he wanted to join the conversation too, but Hugh thought he had done enough. And he meant it in a good way. So he took him by the hand and they lied down on the couch, not caring that perhaps one of the others wanted to sit on it.

Adrian had already chosen the movie (he chose the period drama over the action movie, thankfully) when Georgie walked into the living room with a stack of plastic cups under her arm and a jug half full of strawberry milk, carrying it as it were a trophy. During her birthday, everyone in the house had raised money to buy her a huge pot of strawberry milk powder, which they made her promise that she would not share.

Some promises could not be kept.

The adults got two sandwiches each, but Adrian had practically all of the strawberry milk. Throughout the movie, Kasumi was sighing and muttering how much she wanted to wear a dress like the one the main character wore in the movie during that elegant dinner. From to time, Tamaya frowned and muttered something about how problematic she found a line or scene. Georgie braided their hair and when she finished, she would undo the braid and start over, laughing out loud at Evander's comments about how horrible the romantic interest looked and that he did not understand how that was the ideal of beauty that women had. Adrian fell asleep in Simon's arms about halfway through, and about that exact time, Hugh began to notice that Simon was starting to have a hard time trying to stay awake.

He looked adorable when he was thinking, but he liked it even more how he looked when he was falling asleep.

He kissed the back of his head. “Are you tired?”

He nodded slightly. “Yes… but never of you.”

Hugh kissed him again. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“What thing?”

Georgie turned around for a second and realized that Adrian had fallen asleep. She stopped braiding Evander’s short hair (for some reason, Evander had let her braid his hair) and sat on the recliner chair, hugging Adrian like a stuffed animal.

She winked at him once more. And Hugh winked back, one more time.

“Nothing— ” he laid himself more comfortably on the couch and allowed Simon to get on top of him, resting his head on his chest. “—Sleep for a while.”

Simon made no further objection. “You too.”

Hugh did not fall asleep. In fact, he stayed awake for the three hours the movie lasted, even though by the time the credits started, Tamaya was snoring and Kasumi and Evander were under her wings, rolled up, and cuddled up to her. Georgie ended up falling asleep on the couch, covered in the same blanket Simon used to cover himself a few hours ago.

When the clock told him it was 7 PM, Hugh knew it was time for them to go patrol. However, the rain had gotten even worse, and Simon...

Simon looked so peaceful.

He hadn't realized how deep the bags under his eyes had gotten, nor that his face hadn't looked as relaxed as it looked right now for weeks, because he frowned most of the time. He hadn't held him that close either or had the opportunity to give him as many kisses as he had been doing in that time. Not because he didn't want to, it was just ... well, they had been busy trying not to die.

How tiring it was to try not to die.

He knew Simon was tired because, again, he was tired too, and he bet that the rest of their family felt the same as them. But Simon was the only one who had overcome his tiredness and his moodiness to just... make them forget their sorrows for a moment. 

He was like that.

Hugh gave him one more kiss on the cheek.

Thank you. 

If Simon had been awake, he would have asked him "Thanks for what?"

And Hugh would have answered him, "For just being you."

Someday they would get their happy ending. But for the moment, all he wanted was to be crammed into the living room with the rest of his family, listening to the thunder and the rain crashing down on the ceiling.

He doubted that happiness would ever end.

Sixth (but not last) try

Two years after the Day of Triumph.

Just over a year ago, Simon had been on the roof of the same building he was currently in. Of course, it looked very different from how it looked now. It didn’t have any windows, no furniture, and, obviously, no electricity. It was the vile shell of what had once been one of the most beautiful skyscrapers in the city. Simon was thinking about that when he realized that he did not have a single memory of having seen that place when it was in its maximum splendor and that the only proof he had of it was the stories of those adults who arrived before him.

That sooner or later, he would become one of those adults. Those who told stories of the past to the generations that came after them.

He thought of Adrian. He thought that there would come a time when he would be curious to know certain things that happened and would ask questions that Simon would not be too sure how to answer. Not precisely because he didn't want to or because he thought he wasn't ready to hear the truth; he just didn’t know those truths at all. 

Why did people change for the worst? How did the world use to be when prodigies weren’t divided by heroes or villains?

What happened to Lady Indomitable?

How did the world use to be before she was gone?

Then Simon, with tears in his eyes, looked up at the crescent moon and the six stars lined up in such a way that they seemed to form a smile. He hadn’t seen anyone in his family smile for… a very long time. 

Because when Georgia Rawles left, she took with her their capacity to smile. 

Yet, at that moment, Simon could feel her. He could feel her when he was crying, asking her to please fly again and to help him get down from that skyscraper. He felt her hugging him, keeping him from falling to his knees and cutting his skin with the shattered glass that was on the floor. She promised him that she would never give up on him and assured him that every time he saw the sky, he would find those six stars forming that smile, which from that moment on, would be hers. 

Simon didn't want her to make promises, but… it was Georgie. His Georgie. The Georgie who made pinky promises even though she was about to turn thirty because you were never too old for pinky promises. The Georgie who always protected him and never gave up on him, even though there were times when Simon thought she should.

So since she was his Georgie, Simon accepted the promise. As she turned around and rose again to the sky, he wondered what would happen when the city was so full of light, that the stars (Georgie’s smile) faded away and everyone, including them, forgot about them (about her). 

But, after all this time, Simon was looking at the stars, on the roof of that same skyscraper that had now been turned into a fancy restaurant, holding Hugh's hand across the table, and noticing that Georgie was still smiling at him from above.

As it always should be.

“Did you ever expect things to turn out like this when you were little?”

He turned to see Hugh again. “What things?”

But Hugh kept staring at the stars. Simon didn't care. He liked to think that the sparkle in his blue eyes was due to them. “Us.”

Simon shook his head, “No,” he answered when he remembered Hugh couldn’t look at him. “Did you?”

Finally, Hugh saw him again. “I think that when I was little, I didn’t know one could be as happy as I am with you right now.”

Simon rolled his eyes. 

“I'm serious,” Hugh insisted, taking him just a little tighter by the hand. “I'm so glad we finally made it out.”

Simon leaned forward slightly. “We really did, huh?”

Then, Hugh gently pulled him closer to him, making their foreheads bump and closing his eyes. “And I'm so glad that now, nothing bad is gonna happen to you, to us, and to what we have.”

Simon closed his eyes too. He would have liked to promise Hugh that it would be like that. That this new chapter of their lives, the chapter of getting married, having kids, and rebuilding a city together, was would turn out as well as the last one, when they fought crime, defeated the bad guys, and held hands only when they were not wearing the armors that protected them from the outside world. 

But he could not promise that. And anyways, Hugh was not very fond of promises. He said they were very easy to break.

So he grabbed his chin and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before saying, “It's getting late. We should ask for the check.”

Hugh nodded and called a waiter. He noticed that Simon was reaching into his pocket and quickly told him not to do it, that he got it. Simon knew there was nothing he could do to make him change his mind, so he instead just asked if he could get a slice of chocolate cake to go. Adrian would love to have chocolate cake for breakfast.  

The waiter returned a few moments later with the bill (and Adrian’s chocolate cake). Simon almost winced when he saw the amount of money they had spent on a meal that hadn’t been that good in the first place (although he did not know if it was because of the lack of ingredients or because gourmet food kind of sucked). However, Hugh didn't seem at all concerned and reached into his pockets to get his wallet.

Suddenly, he leaned his elbows on the table. “Simon.” 

Simon leaned his elbows on the table too. “Yes?”

“Have I mentioned you look very handsome tonight?”

He tried to remember. “No,” he replied. “But thank you for noticing. I even took a shower.”

“Wow,” Hugh exclaimed with too much enthusiasm. “Feeling fancy today.”

“I do feel fancy today,” Simon replied, adjusting the jacket he had put on over his pink button-up shirt at the last moment because Hugh had told him that the restaurant had a pretty rigid dress code.

Simon almost didn’t put on the jacket out of pure spite. In fact, he spent all the way ranting about how it was stupid to have such a specific dress code in a place like Gatlon City, and that he bet that the owners of that restaurant, who now were acting like total snobs, had spent most of their lives wearing only a t-shirt and old jeans, like the rest of them.

Hugh, who had been wearing the jacket from the beginning (a blue one), was quiet, listening carefully to what Simon was saying until he blurted out:

“We can do something else if you want to.”

He didn't say it in an “I’m hurt by your comment” tone. Instead, he said it the same way he would tell him that they could watch another movie or that they could get take out instead of cooking dinner. He said it as if the reservation he made was not at stake, or as if he hadn’t been sending him hints of wanting to go to that specific restaurant since New Year.

Simon knew that if he had said yes, Hugh would have taken him wherever he wanted. However, Simon also knew that it didn't matter where they went. They had spent Valentine's in an alley, at a fair, fighting villains, and in a house too small for seven people. And in all those places, he had a great time.

Surely that place was… snobbish, but he could have a great time there too.

After all, they were together. 

He was sure Hugh knew that too. 

Hugh nodded, agreeing with him. He hardly ever agreed with someone other than himself anymore.

“Is this your strange way of making me say you look good too?” he asked him then.

And Hugh’s smile grew bigger. “Simon Westwood, you are the love of my life,” he replied taking his hand, “and this is my strange way of telling you I forgot my wallet at home.”

Simon laughed so loudly that the other customers turned to see him. But he couldn't care less. He kind of wanted them to saw them. He wanted them to notice how much he was laughing and he wanted them to see him kiss Hugh as he reached for his pockets…

Oh, no.

“Hugh.”

He tensed. “Yes, dear husband of mine who’s going to pay for this dinner?”

“You look good too.”

That was enough for Hugh to realize that Simon had also left his wallet at the house.

The two remained serious for a long time. But then, Simon could see how Hugh's brain clicked in a very strange way, which made him see this whole situation as the funniest thing that had ever happen to him.

He kissed him once more.

They always managed to ruin their Valentine's Days one way or another, but it didn't matter. Because there was no way they could ruin what the two of them had.

Boy, he would like to see someone try.

[talesofsadhuman]

1. Cosmogyral

Prompt: “I love you.” “I know.” 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 1500

Warnings: Language

A/N: Okay, so this is my first time writing and I did this for #roz’schallenge (@maarrvveell) it is superrrrr late but this is for you! Also, this is part 1 of 3

1. Cosmogyral

(Adj.) whirling around the universe

The worst days are the ones you think will start off fine, but something always ends up happening that just triggers a series of unfortunate events. Literally. Today was one of those days.

___

You had been with Bucky for over a year. You met at the compound one afternoon when you went in to interview a selection of Avengers for a piece you were writing that focused on power and subjectivity for the magazine you worked at. You were observing the power dynamics that existed and coexisted amongst the Avengers but also questioned them on how they viewed themselves in the eyes of others.

Do you think you have power?

Why do you do what you do?

Do you like the person you are?

Fuck was all Bucky could think. “No,” was his mental response. Of course, with the training of Tony, he had concocted a perfect answer, “Power is sought on by those who seek to feel strength by diminishing those who do not have the ability to stand up for themselves. I don’t think I have power, except over my own will and need to want to do good in this shitty world. I like what I do insofar that it keeps us safe.”

You smiled back at him, a genuine smile because you knew he was bullshitting you: his response was as robotic as a Roomba.

“Well, that’s all I need from you all. Thank you so much for your time, I know you’d rather be out and about saving the world than sitting with me talking about boring theoretical stuff.”

You were responded with thank you’s, good bye’s and “have a good day.” But Bucky stayed behind, observing as you packed your notebook and laptop. He noticed the sticker on your laptop earlier and wanted to ask you about it. It was an outline of the Brooklyn bridge with a sunset skyline and “Brooklyn” in bubble letters at the bottom.

“Where’d you get your sticker?” He asked.

“Which one?” You responded, considering that your laptop cover was covered in many.

“The Brooklyn one.”

“Oh, I got that when I was in Brooklyn writing a piece on gentrification.”

His eyes mildly bulged and she noticed.

“You really dive deep into everything, don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

Bucky stopped to think for a moment. What did he mean? He shook his head and said “Nevermind, I’m dumb. Ignore what I said, it was stupid of me.”

“Self-Deprecating, huh? I wouldn’t pin you as such after the interview.”

“Well, not everyone gets to see this side of me.”

“And what side is that?”

“Let me take you out for a drink and you can find out”

You looked at him in awe. Did he really just ask you out?

“Thank you for the offer, but I don’t drink.”

“A young woman who writes for a living and does not drink? Why that is rare,” he says in a mocking manner, kind of challenging you.

“Why do you say that?”

“It seems like the greatest writers all drank. Drink.” He paused. “Say, they use it as an elixir for inspiration.”

You smiled at him, big fucking nerd. “Alright, one drink.”

You went out that night and drank to the point where you were tipsy. Not drunk, but confident. The rhythmic music playing at the bar tempted you to dance. And with just enough alcohol in your system, you got up and started to sway to the music. Buck looked at you in wonder. Gone was the poised and collected journalist. He wouldn’t call it your element but he knew this was you in a carefree state and this was his chance to get to know more about you.

You extended your hand to him, hoping he would take it and join you dancing. Your gut told you wouldn’t and in a small moment when you closed your eyes, he took it. Secretly, you thought he wouldn’t or played hard to get. Your synchronicity was noticeable. You both danced to the rhythm of the music and he would take the lead occasionally. You eventually got tired after the fourth song and nodded towards the exit of the place. He just smiled under the dark light.

“Where are we going next?” He asked

“Nowhere in particular, but do you have something in mind?”

“Not really.”

“Okay, in that case,” you stopped and pondered. You looked down at your watch, it read 8:35. “I have an idea.” He looked at you quizzically but followed you anyway. First, you stopped at a cafe that is usually open up late. When you had a deadline to complete, you would go there and work until they would kick you out. You ordered some drinks and then left, going to a nice neighborhood with a small garden. You entered and Bucky followed you. He was intrigued by how comfortable and at ease you were. You went far into the garden and in the end, there was a spiral staircase that leads to the top of the building that was next to the garden. There was a bench up there and you sat down. Bucky followed. You looked out into space and saw the city skyline. He looked out at it too. “It’s really pretty.” You looked at him and smiled, “It is.”

“Why did you bring me here?” he asked. You looked out again into the skyline, your hands on the bench tapping rhythmically. His hand was near yours so he felt the small vibrations. You sighed. “Honestly, I think I just wanted to share this place with someone. I love to come here when I have nothing to do or need to clear my head. It’s very peaceful. When I need the inspiration to write. It depends on my mood.”

“So, kinda like a sanctuary?” You stopped and pondered. You never thought of it as such, you just referred to it as your spot. But yea, a sanctuary of some sort.

“Yea, I guess,” you said and then looked away to continue watching the stars. He stared at you for some seconds and then smiled.

“You are something, you know that?” You didn’t say anything but gave him a soft smile whilst still looking at the sky. He began tapping his hand, near yours and eventually, you touched. Without looking at each other, you grabbed each other's hand and continued looking at the sky. Some time passed and you leaned your head on his shoulder. He liked it, as no one had ever expressed and comfort in being around him or knowing him. In a brave move, he cupped your head and pulled you to him. He stared deeply into your eyes and then looked down at your lips. You closed your eyes and leaned in.

—

After that night, you began to see each other more and more. When you’d have a bad day, were irritated and nowhere to be found, he’d go to your spot. You’d be there, looking out into the city. One time, it was pouring rain and you had a fight with him over what you guys were to each other. He said he didn’t know and you were hoping he would be the one to take the initiative and say he wanted you. That he wanted you to be there with him, always. Maybe not his girlfriend, but that he needed and wanted you. You barged out the door, yelling at him to grow a pair. You raced through the city and by the time you got to your spot, he was there, waiting for you with flowers. It was corny, but you had a stupid grin on your face. He pulled you in, for a deep kiss and asked you to be his. You kissed him back, both of you soaking wet, and then pulled him towards the exit, back to your place. It was always like that when he couldn’t get a hold of you, he’d go to your spot and find you and take you home.

—

Then came the fight. You got home from a tough day at work and he was waiting for you. He didn’t have a key but it wasn’t surprising he was able to get into your apartment. You hadn’t seen him in 2 weeks. Not responding to his calls or messages, you hadn’t shown up to your last date, and he was pissed. You walked out of there, numb. Your strides were slow, waking in no particular direction. It had started to pour and the streets started to clear up. You were heartbroken, something you vowed would never happen to you because you wouldn’t let people in. This time, it was your fault. You had done this to yourself. But you loved him, and you didn’t tell him, and he needed to hear it. Fuck. I do love him, you thought. You started to walk to your spot, hoping he’d be there or get there so you can tell him you love him and kiss him. You arrived at your spot and no one was there. You sat on the bench for an hour, hoping he’d show up, perhaps realizing that you’d be there, waiting for him. Instead, you were met by the city’s cold wind, caressing your body, the sky’s heavy tears, and a longing for the familiar.

Part 2

[mariposamagazine]

Manic Pixie Swamp Thing

a short story by Laura Garnica

Leo Torres looked at his Apple watch again, his left foot tapping restlessly on the pavement. He ran a large, clumsy hand through his wavy black hair and glanced up at the rising moon. It gets dark so early now.

6:06.

Should I send a text? He wondered. Nah, I’ll give it another five minutes. She’ll be here.

He fidgeted with the straps of his blue face mask. It took some getting used to, even after seven months of living through a pandemic. Leo worked from home, so he rarely went into public spaces, rarely had to bother with putting one on. He still couldn’t get over the discomfort– it made him think of the face-huggers from Alien.

6:07.

He hoped the other café patrons weren’t getting creeped out. Tall brown kid with a backpack lurking on the street corner, practically sweating with nerves despite the chill October air… and this café was in one of the nicer parts of the city, on top of that. An elderly white lady stared him down and clutched her Chanel purse a little tighter as she passed him on the sidewalk. “Maldita vieja bruja,” he muttered with an eye roll. But Leo didn’t want to get a table without his date; it seemed more polite to wait so that they could go to the hostess together. Or am I just overthinking it?

6:08.

Was this even a good idea? Asking out a girl whose face you’ve never seen? Leo’s friends had given him so much shit when they found out she didn’t have social media.

“How do even you know if she’s cute or not?” Sammy had demanded. “It’s practically a blind date– and she’s already deaf.”

Leo bristled. “First of all, she’s just mute, not deaf. And second, there’s more important things than appearance, dick.”

Sammy and their other roommate, Josh, had crept into Leo’s bedroom during his ASL class yesterday to catch a glimpse of their friend’s mysterious crush. Leo had almost burst a vein when he spotted them in the corner of his screen, their goofy faces peering over his shoulder like a couple of kids, barely containing their snickering. The minute class was over, he stormed into the kitchen to glare at them.

Sammy nudged him with a grin. “Bro, she was the only one wearing a mask in her video. You’re telling me she shows up to virtual class like that, every time?”

Leo shrugged, turning pink.

“I mean, she’s always zooming from this café in uptown, so she kinda has to.”

“What, like she hasn’t had internet at home the whole semester?”

Josh looked up from his phone to add “…it’s a little sus, dude.”

“And her name is… Lilin? Is that some crunchy-granola white girl name? Like did they forget to add the ‘a’ for Lilian?”

Leo couldn’t help but crack a smile at this. It was kind of a weird name.

Josh started laughing– “Ey, maybe that’s the answer, Sam. Maybe her family is the hardcore hippy type– you know, like the ones who believe in chemtrails and don’t even own a microwave or a tv.”

Whatever. She was nice, and she was really sweet when they got paired up in class last week. Besides, she was way better at ASL than him, and she didn’t seem to mind helping him out. She was a good listener, too… although she didn’t offer up much information about herself, so it was a pretty one sided conversation. Have to remedy that today, he thought.

6:10.

A slender girl with silky white-blonde hair that fell to her hips emerged from the crowded crosswalk. Her dark eyes sparked with recognition when she spotted Leo, who began enthusiastically waving an arm in the air in front of Cafe Étude. She wore a burgundy sundress over a black turtleneck and tights, with a black mask made of some kind of silky material. Leo adjusted the collar of his button down nervously.

Hi, he signed.

Hi, Leo. Nice to finally meet you in person, she replied, her spidery hands moving far more deftly than his.

He nodded towards the podium by the entrance of the café, and they walked up to the bored-looking hostess together.

“Table for two?” she drawled. “Sit anywhere you like,” gesturing to the recently expanded outdoor seating, each metal table placed a careful six feet apart from the next, spilling over the sidewalk into the street.

“Thanks,” Leo replied. They found an empty table in the corner of the outdoor seating area nearest to the café itself. Leo slung his backpack off his shoulders and leaned it against one of the table legs, rummaging around for his school binder and lecture notes. He felt her dark eyes watching him even before he resurfaced, arms full of papers and notebooks and his beat up laptop. She had such a curious presence about her… Or I’m just not used to being around new people anymore, he thought sheepishly. Still, Leo found himself reluctant to meet those strange eyes.

I’m glad you asked me to study with you. It’s better signing in person than over Zoom, she relayed. She bent down to gather her own laptop out of her satchel, white-blonde hair falling in a curtain over her face. It was sort of absurd, how long it was. Leo hadn’t seen a girl with hair that long since elementary school days. As she tucked it behind her ear, he got a glimpse of the edges of her mask– it was definitely one of those fancy ones, because it covered every inch of her face below the eyes, and tied behind her ears instead of relying on the usual cheap elastic bands.

What is it? she signed.

Leo felt his face flush in embarrassment.

Your hair. It’s really long.

She didn’t blink. Leo’s hands stuttered.

In a good way! It’s pretty, I mean.

Her eyes crinkled ever so slightly– the barest hint of a smile. She popped open her laptop– an old PC, no stickers– and the blue-aproned waiter returned, hovering over them with a notepad. Leo quickly asked Lilin what she wanted.

“One latte and one iced earl grey tea, please. And uh, some toast, too.” The waiter scurried away, and Leo smiled at Lilin under his mask, before realizing she probably couldn’t tell if he was smiling, either.

He remembered she had mentioned moving to the city recently, and asked her how it had been, transitioning during a pandemic.

It was… okay, she replied, her hands moving much more slowly now. It’s just me, so… there wasn’t much to move.

Oh. Where are you from, anyways? Sorry, I feel like I should know that.

At this she paused, dark eyes boring into him, unblinking.

Very far from here. You wouldn’t know it.

A tense silence formed and began to stretch between them– Leo unsure of how to reply when she so clearly didn’t want to open up.

Thankfully their waiter returned before the awkwardness became unbearable, balancing a plate of toast and their two drinks in small ceramic cups.

“Ah, thank you so much,” Leo called to the waiter as she left their table.

“You mind if I…?” he gestured to his face.

I promise I’m good, I just took a test on Monday (it was negative) and I took my temperature before I came here, he signed.

Lilin nodded, the strange look in her eyes gone. Leo sighed with relief as he removed his cloth mask, folding it neatly in his lap. He smiled nervously. Why was she so cagey when I asked about where she moved from? he thought. He grabbed a slice of toast from the plate and started nibbling on it, flipping through yesterday’s lecture notes. He looked up at the sound of her grabbing her glass of tea, and tried to hide his excitement. Leo tried not to stare as she carefully adjusted the cup a few inches to the right of her laptop. No reveal. She caught him staring and he fixed his face so his disappointment wasn’t so palpable. Lilin said nothing, but he felt like she was smirking at him.

Their study session passed by quickly, Lilin often stopping to ask if he needed help, or creating conversation. He found himself telling her about his siblings back home, his longtime interest in languages, his love of animals. She had very little to say when he asked the same questions of her, but that seemed to be her MO so he quickly gave up on pushing her.

You raised pigs yourself? she asked, her eyes incredulous.

Damn, this really is a good way to practice, he thought as he struggled to convey that the agriculture program was a big deal in a small, rural town like his. Not to mention he grew up on a ranch for half his childhood.

Did you feel bad for them? She asked.

Who, the pigs? Yes. Worst part.

Her eyes narrowed in what was either a concerned frown, or a strange half smile, he couldn’t be sure.

She never took off her mask once, not even to try the toast. By nine, they had covered the entire midterm practice exam.

Cafe Étude began closing up shop, so Leo and Lilin began to pack up their things as well.

How are you feeling about the midterm next week? Lilin signed.

Do you think you still need more practice? If you want to keep going tonight, I don’t mind. She slung her satchel over her shoulders and stared at him expectantly. Leo chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, I definitely feel better about it, but knowing myself, that probably doesn’t mean much. I don’t wanna put you out though, Lilin! It was really nice of you to even meet up with me to study in the first place.”

She stepped closer to him, and the scent of seaweed and ocean brine tickled his nostrils. The city was thirty miles from the nearest beach, but suddenly that didn’t seem to matter in the moment.

It’s okay, Leo, I’m happy to help. You’re very nice. This was a nice study… date.

Leo felt his face burning under his mask. I mean, this was going pretty well but I didn’t think it was going THAT well, he thought incredulously.

He started when he felt a cold hand enveloping his, Lilin trailing her long fingers across his palm. Her eyes, so dark and deep, unblinking on his. It felt like his head was leaving his shoulders, like those strange, lovely eyes were hypnotizing him. He slowly reached towards her ear, hands trembling as he brushed the edge of her mask with his fingertips. Then her hand was around his wrist like a vice, pulling it away from her face with barely restrained force. She let go to sign, her hands moving quickly, urgently.

No, not here. Let’s finish studying at my place? I live alone.

Everything felt so far away, like Leo was watching the scene unfold from the comfort and distance of a movie theater seat. Getting his hands to reply felt like having to wade through deep water.

Okay.

Her cold hand was on his again, and before he knew it the café was far behind, as well as the bustling streets of mid-city. The streetlights became infrequent, their light a dull orange on quiet sidewalks where rows of identical, impassive houses loomed over the couple. Leo didn’t recognize this part of town, it seemed strangely empty. He found that he couldn’t even remember what streets they had taken to get there. Lilin hadn’t let go of his hand since they had started walking, so they walked in silence. That odd scent continued to waft behind her, that briny, seaweed smell. Her hand was so cold and clammy, and even though his was like a radiator it hadn’t warmed in the slightest. Yet still, Leo couldn’t find it in himself to be worried. Her white-blonde hair flowing over her shoulders, those dark, dark eyes. It was enough just to see her, be near her. There was something special about her, he felt.

At last Lilin came to a halt, and let go of his hand to sign we’re here.

It was a bland house similar in style to its neighbors on that long, endless street, converted into apartments, all of which looked empty. Leo realized that there hadn’t seemed to be any places with their lights on since they’d turned on this street.

Lilin rummaged around in her bag for keys, then led him up the porch stairs to the red door on the left. Leo took out his phone to offer some light as she fumbled with the lock in the dark. A harsh scraping sound and then the click of the door being opened– strange, Leo thought. No service out here. He gently tapped her shoulder.

Hey, Lilin, does your phone have service? he signed. She simply stared at him for a moment before stepping into the pitch-black hallway. Leo waited for lights to come on, but they never did– instead, the rusty scrape of a match could be heard, and there was Lilin lighting a candle wall sconce as if it was the most normal thing in the world. But still… something in him told him it was just part of her nature, not to worry. Candle light seemed to suit her better, somehow. Yes, this was how it was supposed to be. He stepped through the doorway into the velvety darkness.

It was cold. The air felt stagnant, like the place hadn’t seen fresh air in weeks.

Lilin blew out the lit match and took the candle she had lit from its sconce, using it to light the other candles scattered throughout the hallway. The flames seemed to duplicate each time one was lit, until he realized that there were mirrors of all different sizes covering the drab walls. It was a rather small foyer with a single doorway at the end. Whatever was beyond that doorway was a mystery; the darkness was a door of its own, obscuring whatever lay beyond their little circle of candlelight. She dropped her satchel to the floor with a thunk, not even giving it a second glance. Once the hall candles were lit, she walked back to Leo and placed the candle in his hand, gently wrapping his fingers around its base.

I want to show you something, Leo, she signed. He swallowed thickly, a nervous smile spreading slowly under his mask. It was cold, but he felt lucky. She chose me, he thought sluggishly.

Lilin reached for the bottom of her skirt and pulled her dress over her head in a quick fluid motion. She tossed the garment into the dark, unlit room adjacent to the foyer. In shock, all Leo could do was continue to stand there holding the candle, staring like an idiot. Lilin moved on to her boots, her tights, and then before he could process any of it, she was naked, save for her mask. Her body was thin, so thin her ribs protruded from her abdomen. Her skin was the same uniform milky paleness, almost translucent in areas that it stretched thinly over her bones. Not a single freckle or mole or distinguishing mark, just that smooth white glow. Almost like the belly of a fish, a thought came to him from far, far away. Her long hair gleamed in the candlelight, sections covering her nakedness like a Renaissance painting.

She walked slowly, deliberately around him till he felt cold, slender arms tenderly wrapping around his waist from behind. Her skin was even colder than the air in the room– it made him shiver, and yet, seeing their reflection in the mirrors around them gave him that strange sense of belonging again– she chose him. He was lucky, wasn’t he? Her hands ran over the front of his jacket, unzipping it, and he felt her chin rest gently on his shoulder.

Leo barely felt the heat of the candle wax that was now dripping down his hand. Somewhere, some small part of him wondered what the fuck was going on. And still, he could do nothing, say nothing… He wanted to leave, but he had to see her face. He had to. Then things would make sense, then he could leave.

“Lilin…”

And then her spidery fingers were reaching behind her ears, the whisper soft sound of the silk ties running through her hair as she loosened the mask. Through the mirror before them, her eyes did not leave his, did not blink. It was so cold, he realized, so cold in that hallway. The flickering candlelight cast strange shadows on the walls and floors, whose spaces between the mirrors he saw were blank and dingy. No photos, no decorations, no windows, either. The wax burning his flesh felt so far away now.

Lilin slowly pulled her mask from her face, the ties trailing against his shoulder, and Leo watched through the mirror with absurd fascination as she revealed an empty black hole where her nose should have been. The skin of her face was drawn tight, like plastic stretched over a skull. A mouth that was like a fresh gash on her face, her lips raw and red and far too long– her smile nearly stretched from ear to ear.

Lilin let her mask fall softly to the floor before wrapping her arms around him again, tighter. Leo found that he could not move. Maybe he hadn’t been able to move this whole time. He couldn’t even move his head to look back at the door. Was there a door to begin with? The memory of the keys and the flashlight and the sound of the lock scraping open felt like memories from another lifetime.

What time is it? Their faces next to one another in the mirror looked almost comical; a study in opposites. His own face, still somehow so calm and relaxed. But there wasn’t anything to worry about, anymore, really.

Lilin’s strange, awful mouth began to move. Those red, raw lips parting to reveal a crimson mouth lined with row upon row of long, thin, glittering teeth.

Teeth like an anglerfish, he thought to himself from far away, with strange amusement.

A voice like a scream, a song like a dirge filled the dark corners of the room.

[freedom-shamrock]

Chat Noir’s Four-Point Landing

We’ve gotten permission to share our pieces from @kittylovezine! I got to work with the skilled artist @masilvi (check out their art for the story here), and @clueless-lost-daydreamer was my fantastic beta reader.

There’s a limited supply of leftover products from this project available for purrchase, including a digital or paperback copy of the zine, charms, stickers, prints, and pins. 

Also on AO3

⁂

"So let me get this straight," Marinette said, tapping her index finger against her chin.  "You're in your last four months of lycee, and you want to move out on your own after graduation.  But no one in your life is willing to teach you basic adulting skills." She arched her eyebrows.

Chat Noir nodded. He was a curious mix of eager and nervous.

It bothered her that his family wasn't preparing him. "So you want me to help you with those things?" she asked. "Why me?  Don't you have friends outside the suit who could help you?" He visibly deflated at her question so she threw in a qualifier. "I'm happy to help you, Chat, I'm just curious."

"I'm not as free when I'm my other self." He spoke softly, and everything about him seemed hunched up and sad, like he was trying to curl in on himself.

"I'm surprised you'd want my help."  She sometimes felt inadequate and underprepared for life on her own. "You've seen I can be a bit of a disaster." Their friendship, sparked the night of the Glaciator akuma, had grown strong over the years.

He beamed at her, radiating joy better than anyone she knew, including Adrien. It was seriously unfair. "Oh Marinette," he said, leaning toward her. "You're amazing. You know how to do so many useful things. You've shared food you've made, and I can't even boil water.  I've visited you on laundry day, and I'm terrified I'm going to destroy all my clothes. You're so level-headed; I'm sure you can figure out anything you don't already know. I got overwhelmed by the differing opinions on how to clean the bathroom when I Googled it."

"You poor kitten," she said, careful not to tease too hard. "Of course I'll help. But we may have to call in the big guns if things are beyond me. Okay?"

"Big guns?" he asked, green eyes wide.

"Maman and Papa," she explained.

"Deal."

⁂

The smell of scorched flour filled the kitchen, and Marinette turned from the refrigerator to see Chat hastily yanking a pot off the stove, scowling as he dumped in some water and slammed the lid over the top. He was quieter than normal, and that was usually a bad sign. He braced both hands on the counter near the window and hung his head.

"Chat, are you okay?" It had been his fourth attempt at making a roux, and while he'd gotten farther along, the end result was consistent with his other tries.

"I'm never going to get this," he said softly, as if that would hide the despair. "What am I thinking? I'm never going to survive on my own. I'll have to crawl back to my father a failure."

"Roux is hardly a required staple." She wished she'd picked a different recipe for today.  He'd done well learning to read recipes and measure ingredients. His knife skills were impressive. He still had a lot of techniques to learn, and his self-esteem was terrifyingly awful.

"Name one decent cook who can't make roux," he suggested bitterly.

"Maman can't make roux to save her life," Marinette pointed out.

He looked over his shoulder at her, surprised.

Marinette shrugged. "Papa or I make it if she needs it. It's okay."

He looked out the window, then pushed himself away from the counter. "I'm… not used to being so bad at things, and… I'm usually better... faster at picking up new things."

"You've done very well," she insisted. 

His cheeks went pink and he looked adorably pleased, but sadness lingered in his eyes.

She held out her arms and approached slowly, though she'd never known him to decline affection. He helped close the distance, and was swiftly snuggled against her, his face nestled into her loose shoulder length hair. "You're doing amazingly well. I'm so proud of you." She felt his breath catch, and it hurt that such simple words, things he should hear regularly, had such an impact on him.

⁂

"All right," Chat said, slipping a piece of paper onto Marinette's desk. "Here's my grocery list for the week."

"You're getting good at this," she said, looking it over. He'd jotted down three recipes he would theoretically make for dinner with leftovers for lunches and other nights.  Camembert was right at the very top of the list, as always. "I'm getting you cheese as a housewarming gift."

He snickered. "My uh… miraculous would appreciate that."

She loved hearing him laugh. She'd realized Chat Noir wasn't happy nearly often enough, at least not in his regular life. She pushed her chair back and gestured for him to take over the computer. "Let's see how you do with your shopping."

He navigated to the bookmarks they'd been using for these exercises. He started with the meat department of the grocery store, carefully looking at various cuts of meat and the prices before making his decisions. 

"Why is this one so much less expensive?" he asked, pointing.

"Higher ratio of gristle and cartilage," Marinette answered, giggling at the face he made.  She would have liked to physically take him shopping so he could get a better understanding of the characteristics and qualities of meat and produce, things that were hard to get from pictures. "Not a fan of extra chewy or crunchy bits in your meat?"

He shook his head.

"That's okay. Maman likes tendon, and I do not." She made a face.

"You're cute when you do that," he said, reaching out to lightly boop her nose.  

"Am not."

"Honestly, you're always cute, whether you're making faces or not." He grinned, and turned back to the computer. He added his decisions to the list, with quantity and cost.  Before too long, he hopped to his feet. "Whoop!" He handed her the list and danced over to her chaise. "I'm within budget.  I win."

She checked his work, joy bubbling up in her chest at his success. "You do win," she agreed.

"It's getting easier, like you said it would."

She joined him on the chaise giddy and warm, something he seemed to trigger in her a lot these days. "We all need to learn this somewhere, and I'm glad you picked me to help."

"So am I. He patted his lap.

Arching an eyebrow, she asked, "You want me to sit on your lap, you naughty cat?"

He nearly fell off the chaise in surprise. "Nooooo. I want to play with your hair." He gave a little shrug. "It was relaxing last time."

"Yeah," she agreed.  "It was."  She rested her head on his thigh, sighing happily at the touch of his fingers.

⁂

"Oh wow," Marinette said, looking at the photos accompanying the apartment listing. "It's gorgeous. But it's definitely on the upper end of your budget."

Chat nodded. "I think it's what people expect for my first apartment." His arm had slipped around her when she sat beside him, and his fingertips tightened now in an obvious tell. He didn't want the beautiful flat.

"It doesn't matter what others expect, Chat." She gave him a little side hug. "It's your apartment. What do you want?"

He tapped open one of the other tabs, his smile wistful. "I like this one a lot."

It was much smaller with fewer embellishments, but looked nice. "What do you like about it?" 

"I think it would be cozy, which is something I don't have… where I live now." He scrolled through the pictures. "No balcony. But the large window off the bedroom faces the back alley.  It'll be perfect for slipping in and out as Chat Noir." He opened a tab to a Google Map of Paris and pointed to one of the pins. "Neighborhood is decent, neither snob city nor thug paradise."

She giggled. "You should go see it. Oh!" She slipped out of his hold to fetch a small notebook from the other side of the room. "Papa got this for you." When she sat back down, she wrapped his arm back around her. 

He hummed happily and pressed his face into her hair, bumping his nose against the closer of the twin buns she wore.

She set the notebook on the desk so she could properly hug him. "You're getting distracted," she told his chest.

A laugh mixed with a purr rumbled out of him. "You're not exactly discouraging that." He kissed her forehead and opened the notebook to the first page, finding a list of questions followed by a list of warning signs.

"It's to help you get the information you really need, since none of us can come with you." She'd learned a lot when her papa was working on it.

"Most of my friends are moving away for uni," he said softly. "If I make my place safe for you to visit, would you come?" 

It was a terrible idea for maintaining identities, but she didn't care. "I'd love to."

[the-shadow-of-atlantis]

Induction

Summary: Annabella spends some time with the team.

Tagging: @lizartgurl @thespacebuns @melyaliz @coffee-randomness @gobydana @speedypan

Part 1 Here

Annabella woke up with a smile as she remembered that today she would be going back Mount Justice to hang out with the team. Skipping down to the kitchen she said good morning to Alfred and helped him finish up breakfast.

Her father and brother came in just as they finished setting up the plates. Bruce smiled as she placed his plate in front of him and gave her a quick peck on her forehead.

“I have a meeting this morning so I have to go in a bit. Dick you have training with the team and Annabella.”

“I can go once I’m done with my chores for the day.” She finished for him.

“I’ll see you later today.” Bruce said as he finished up his breakfast. “Be good both of you.”

Annabella nodded as she munched on her toast. Dick got up after a few minutes having scarfed down his food.

“Well better get to training.” He said with a smug smile.

“Hope you get your butt handed to you.” Annabella grumbled.

“Master Dick, please clean your plate before you leave.” Alfred scolded since Dick only tossed his dish in the sink.

The rest of the morning passed by quickly as Annabella got her chores done. Soon she was packing her stuff, grabbing her laptop and a couple of notebooks. She hopped down the stairs to the bat cave and put in the code to disable the voice announcements as she stepped through the Zeta Tube.

However she froze in place when she saw the whole team gathered around along with her father. Spotting her brothers smirk she quickly tried to backtrack but her fathers voice stopped her.

“Bells I was wondering when you’d get here. We can begin now. Come on.” He ushered her forward and she internally cringed.

Please don’t embarrass me, please don’t embarrass me. She thought.

“My daughter will be spending most of her time here since she is doing homeschool. However there are some rules I’d like to establish.”

“Dad.” Annabella whined. “I already know the rules.”

“They still need to be informed. So first she is to not go on any mission. Second if you wish to visit Happy Harbor or any city with her, you will inform Red Tornado. Third you must carry one of these at all times.” Annabella’s eyes widen in horror as she saw him holding her inhaler.

“Dad.” She protested. “I haven’t had an asthma attack in almost a year.”

“That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be prepared.” Bruce gave her a warning look and began handing out inhaler to the team.

M’gann and Kaldur seemed to look at them curiously but Superboy simply shrugged and tucked it into his pocket.

“Why doesn’t Wally get one?” Superboy asked.

“That’s because I already got my own bat issued inhaler.” Wally smiled as he pulled out an inhaler from his jacket, Annabella noticed it was tacked with bat symbol stickers and one flash sticker.

Annabella smiled softly but it quickly dropped when her dad began in lecture on proper use of the inhaler. By the time it was over Annabella he her face buried in hr hands.

“I believe that’s all. Robin I need you back in Gotham.”

Robin nodded and followed him back. Annabella straightened up took a deep breath and stared at everyone.

“Right well I’m gonna go do some of my school work.”

“Do you need a guide?” M’gann asked.

“Nope I know my way around.” Annabella smiled tightly as she walked off still feeling embarrassed.

She sighed as she plopped on the bed of one of the rooms and screamed into the pillows. Once she calmed down she fished out her laptop and began her work.

Feeling her stomach growl Annabella slightly jumped and blinked, feeling her eyes burn. Rubbing them she looked at the time and did a double take. Had she really been working that long? Stretching she felt something pop and groaned.

Getting up she made her way to the kitchen. She spotted all the guys in the lounge area, Wally was apparently trying to teach them how to play a certain video game. M’gann was in the kitchen her back towards Annabella as she was busy mixing something in a bowl.

“Watcha making?” Annabella asked as she approached the counter only to duck as a wooden spoon went whizzing over her head.

Peeking over the counter top Annabella saw M’gann look of honor and burst into a fit of giggled.

“I think you’ll give my grandmother a run for her money with those spoon skills.” Annabella snickered.

“Well now I know why Wally calls you Bells.” M’gann composed herself as she made the spoon float back.

“So what are you making?” Annabella asked again as she stuck a finger in the bowl and tasted it.

“Lasagna, though this sauce isn’t looking right.” M’gann frowned at the bowl.

“Rule number one about cookbooks always go crazy with the spices.” Annabella paused as she sniffed one of the spices. “Put some of this in.”

“Alright food is ready guys.” Annabella called out as she started cutting up the lasagna and placing slices on the plates M’gann was making float.

Wally passed by and ruffled Annabella’s hair, she swatted his hand away giving his a playful glare. Everyone muttered a thank you as they grabbed their plate, but as soon as everyone sat down a small cloud of awkwardness began to loom over them. Annabella knew the team barely had time to bond in the couple of weeks it had been formed but she couldn’t help but blame her father for making things embarrassing for her.

“Are you alright Bells?” Annabella looked up at Kaldur feeling concern poke at her.

“Yeah I’m fine.” She smiled reassuringly but Kaldur didn’t seem satisfied.

“You were in there for quite some time.” He added.

“I was doing school work, lost track of time.” Annabella shrugged, still Kaldur didn’t budge. Damn he was good. “My dad has a good way embarrassing me without really trying. You really don’t have to listen to what he told you earlier, I know the rules I know what I can and can't do.”

“What about the inhalers? Wally always seems to have his on hand.” Superboy pointed out.

Annabella groaned placing her face in her hands. “I had an asthma attack one time and my inhaler was tucked away in my bag in the house. One time! And I was eight. I know better now. But I am his only daughter and given the things he’s seen as Batman he just… worries… a lot.”

“Is that why you’re being homeschooled?” M’gann asked.

“No that was actually my choice.” Annabella said taking a bite of her food.

“Why would you want to be homeschooled? Isn’t school fun? With extracurricular activities? School dances? Pep rallies, and being with friends?”

Annabella couldn’t help but feel like if M’gann had learned everything about school through the lens of an over glorified version of it on an 80's sitcom. Still Annabella could feel M’ganns hopefulness and decided she needed to choose her words carefully.

“School can be fun, but its also not for everyone. Sometimes depending on who you are certain expectations are made of you and people can look at you differently because of it. At least in homeschool. I can be a bit more in control of the situation and be able to progress how I want without judgement.”

“Oh.” Was M’ganns simple response though Annabella was glad to feel that she wasn’t completely let down.

However she did feel something come from Kaldur. A sense of sadness and understanding? She wondered about that last one.

Once everyone as done with their food they all moved to the lounge area where Wally began to flip channels.

“You know not everyone has super speed.” Annabella retorted as she plopped on the sofa with her laptop.

Wally stuck his tongue out at her but she simply laid her legs on his lap and opened up her laptop.

“You two have known each other long?” M’gann asked.

“I knew him when he was just a dork, now he’s a dork with powers.”

“How did you know him before?” Kaldur asked.

“I grew up with most of the league members as my babysitters. Like I said my dad is very protective.” Annabella sighed as she typed away her homework.

“So you know who Superman is.” Superbly said in a gruff voice, though his expression was stiff. Annabella could, like always, feel his anger.

“Yeah, I know him. And you know being Superman is a big responsibility. A responsibility that he, like you, was integrated deeply into him. For the longest time he’s been the only kryptonian. A concept that’s going to be hard for him to let go now that your have appeared. Now it doesn’t excuse his asshole behavior but hopefully this will make you I understand what exactly you are dealing with.” Annabella kept her eyes on superbly the whole time she spoke, He in turn just slightly nodded and looked away from her.

“How old are you?” Kaldur asked and Annabella smiled at him.

“Sorry you gotta be a level 3 friend to unlock my background information.”

“Really we can’t even know your age?” Superboy asked.

“Nope, at least not until my dad says so.” Annabella sighed. “Paranoid dad remember.”

Everyone nodded and focused not he tv as Wally finally selected a channel.

The rest of the evening was spent teaching the two aliens and Atlantan about pop culture. In the end Annabella made a list of tv shows, movies, and even food that they would need to try out. In turn they offered to help with her homework no matter how much Annabella insisted she had it under control. Still it was fun to hear Superboy spew out facts when asked a question. It was also fascinating to hear Kaldur version of mythology. M’gann simply found the concept of homework interesting.

An hour before she had to go Annabella decided to gather her things and everyone said they’d better get to sleep anyways since they weren’t sure how often they might get days like this off. When Annabella walked out of the room she had left her backpack in Wally was waiting for her.

“So.” He said smiling down at her. “Why are you really here? Finally decided to take it the sidekick business?”

“No.” Annabella punched him as she made her way to the Zeta Tubes.

“Come on Bells its me, you can tell me.” Wally slung his arm around her shoulders however her silence did worry him usually she would smile and shove him off. “Bells?”

Annabella sighed her eyes looking around the large room.

“My powers have been getting stronger recently. My last year of school was getting difficult my mind would wander off a lot and my teacher wouldn’t like that. Doesn’t help that everyone thinks I’m going to take over dads business when I’m older. They’re already making me choose classes to “help” me” Annabella huffed.

“But that’s not what you want.” It was more a statement than a question, she shook her head.

“I love my dad but I don’t want his legacy I don’t want to just be Bruce Wayne's daughter. I was born with these powers for a reason I want to do good with them. So I hoped being with people like me I can figure out what that is.”

Wally brought her in for a hug. “You really need to stop growing up so fast.”

Annabella laughed. “Sorry never did get taken to Neverland.”

Annabella waved goodbye as she stood in the tube feeling herself getting pulled back home.

[cassiefanfic]

Stay With Me Part Two: Found

Part: 2 of 4

Fandom: Marvel/ Avengers

Character/Ship: Loki x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Mr. and Mrs. Bradley (Original Characters), Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Pregnancy, mentions of violence

Writer: Cassie

Words: 3954

Requested by: Anon on @thefandomimagine

Summary: After a couple of months of being in New York and living with the Bradleys, coming to terms with being powerless and a single mother-to-be, Y/N is slowly learning to adapt to Midgardian life. While working one day, Steve Rogers comes to her checkout counter, with his pearly white smile and a whole new world for Y/N to learn.

[Based off of:] http://thefandomimagine.tumblr.com/post/99044716364/submitted-by-anonymous

Author’s Note: This takes place a month after the Battle of New York.

This was beta’ed by @kittenofdoomage who is amazing and I adore her so much. Go check her out!!!

Series Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

I was not Y/N of Asgard anymore. I was Y/N Bradley of New York State. After two months, we got me new clothes, a doctor to help with my child and a job at a library in New York City. As well as a thing called a car and a piece of plastic called a drivers license. It was a different culture completely. So primitive, so loud, so bright and flashy. I adapted to their technology, getting an iPhone 5 and a laptop, both by a company called Apple.

I learned much of their culture, reading their books, wearing their clothes, watching the moving pictures they called movies or television. Because of my job, I had access to much of their history, a lot about the great battles fought, destruction brought among people mindlessly fighting over similar causes. I learned of the losses and that which we have gained. It was all so… primitive yet fascinating.

Another day I awoke, got dressed in the handmade clothes Mrs. Bradley made for me and went down for breakfast. At my spot was a bowl of blueberry banana oatmeal and a glass of milk. Strange enough, the oatmeal was one of the few things the baby enjoyed and didn’t make me throw back up.

“How do grilled cheese and tomato soup sound Y/N?” Mr. Bradley asked as he tore up his toast into easier bites.

“That would be lovely for lunch! That jelly substance as well please?”

“Jello? I’m glad you like that.” Mrs. Bradley replied gleefully. “I’ll drop it off around 11:30 okay?”

“Yes. But not downtown. We finally have the old location open again.” I reminded before taking another bite of oatmeal.

About a month ago, my fellow librarians and patrons found ourselves trapped inside the library as someone and an army of Chitauri destroyed New York City. After a couple of hours, we were finally rescued by two men, who were called Iron Man and Captain America. I told little to the emergency responders, allowing them to give me an emergency ultrasound to check on my baby, immediately taking the opportunity to see the life growing in me on a tiny black and white screen.

It was small, while I was still only a couple months along. This must’ve been the happiest I was. Having that little grape-sized image in front of me completed me, settled my fear. I couldn’t think about Loki or the Chitauri attack. I could only think of the baby.

I finished eating before getting my bag and hurrying out to my car, giving quick hugs on my way out. Settling in and buckling up, the radio gave me more insight into the New York City recovery, construction, hospitalized patients being let out after their care was completed. I quickly interrupted the monotone voices with the Top 20 popular songs that these Midguardians seemed to enjoy. That’s one thing I never seemed to quite grasp. The music of this planet. Each song on Asgard had its specific purpose, but here, they all had hidden meanings. They were about love but about being alone. They were about anger but also about lust. It was a concept that confused me every day. But it was one out of the three stations I could get on the car radio, so I made do.

The grape had grown to the size of a lime, and the lime kept making me puke and take naps in the back of the check out counter. I somehow distracted myself with the small plastic bag of saltine crackers I hid in my large sweater pocket, the absurdly large water bottle with the label Nalgene I had decorated with a few little things called stickers by my side and the book I kept close, reading it whenever I wasn’t checking out books to various patrons. It was called The Great Gatsby, and it was one of the simpler books I had read from this realm. I was slowly making my way through the whole library through not only Mr. and Mrs. Bradley’s recommendations but from the other librarians, learning the proper phrasing of words on Earth, along with learning the social behaviors of the past and present.

As I read, the world around me escaped, and I focused intensely on the glitz and glamor of the 1920s. I remembered watching a documentary on the 1920s, so I could somewhat visualize it, which was taking up at least half my brain where the words weren't flowing.

"That's a good book." A voice spoke, pulling me from my trance and my focus to the gentleman standing at the counter with four books in his hand. His kind smile radiated with his bright blue eyes. His hair was like honey, glistening in the light from the window. After I stood to help him, I noticed how tall he was as well.

"Excuse me?"

"That book. It's a really good book, didn't care for the films though." He repeated, a soft smile across his face as I bookmarked my page and set the book aside.

"I just started it today. It's going by quite fast," I responded, smiling lightly as he handed me his library card and the small stack of books. I scanned the card and began to check out books for him as he nodded.

"I must've read it 20 times. When you're done with that you should read the Wizard of Oz or maybe ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’." I nodded quickly, pulling out my small notebook and opening it to the book section, where there were many recommendations scribbled down.

"I already read Wizard of Oz but that other one I'll get to next," I whispered as I scribbled it down.

"Looks like you have quite a few people who want you to read things."

"Yeah. Yeah, I am just catching up. It's been a while since I've been able to sit down and read."

He smiled and touched his book stack. "Yeah, I'm in that same spot. Maybe we'll have to swap recommendations. Like over coffee or something?"

I know this line, or a line similar to this. He was courting me, or as the Midguardians called it, asking me out.

"You barely know me. You don't know my name-"

"Y/N. I've seen you around here and you uh- you have a name tag. Look, I don’t mean any harm. You seem like a nice girl."

"Well then..." I looked at the screen, reading his name before looking up at him, "Steve Rogers. When were you planning this coffee-or-something date?"

"Well, my friend knows this great restaurant a block or two down. Maybe we can go there tonight, or tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow would be nice. What time?" I questioned, pulling out a small piece of paper.

"How about 7? Where should I pick you up?"

"I live about 40 minutes out of Manhattan, near New Rochelle. So maybe I should meet you here-"

"It would be a pleasure to come to pick you up. I don't mind at all." He affirmed. I smiled lightly and look down.

"It's just- I live with my parents-"

"And it would be an honor to meet them. Give me your address and I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7. Alright?" He reassured, leaning forward on the counter a bit.

I blushed and quickly wrote down the farm address on a piece of paper for him, along with my phone number and my name. Handing him his receipt and the books, along with the paper, I smiled lightly and questioned, "What kind of this restaurant is this exactly?"

"Fancy-ish. Just wear a dress and bring that beautiful smile okay?" He answered, putting his books in his reusable bag and pocketing the pieces of paper in his jacket pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow night." He smiled lightly and walked out, leaving me with a smile of joy across my face.

The next day, Janice convinced my boss to let me off work three hours early as she covered my shift, joy radiating to her bones that I was finally getting my head out of the books and finding my true ways around New York.

“How long until you will tell him?” She inquired as we checked in books, making sure they weren’t damaged before putting them on the reshelving cart.

“I don’t know. I’m just beginning to show a bit but I don’t know. When should I tell him?”

“After a couple of dates. You don’t want to overwhelm him. If you feel like you can trust him, go ahead. It’s up to you.” She explained, grabbing the last book from my hand with a smile. “Now you go ahead and get ready for tonight. I don’t want you to get caught up in rush hour traffic honey.” She hugged me tightly before handing me my bag, water bottle and a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird before sending me on my way to the parking garage.

I was so excited, my hands trembling in joy as I drove home, and for the first time, I found myself singing along to the music on the radio, not minding if I was off key. After I made my way into the farmhouse, I took a nice hot shower, making sure to use the nicest smelling soap I had, and that my hair was extra clean. Before I even had the chance to grab the yellow dress I had been thinking of all day, Mrs. Bradley came into my room and gave me a light blue wrap dress.

“This is amazing. Did you-”

“I got to work on it the second you finished dinner yesterday. I already had a pattern I was going to use and you made it easy when I was wondering which color to make it. Light blue, like the sky, just like his eyes are supposed to be.” She laid it on the bed before helping me get my necklace on. The necklace I still wore to remind me of Loki, that I am bearing his child, and that I will never see him again.

I smiled sadly and dried my hair before getting into the dress. After brushing my hair and putting on some light makeup, I got on some ballet flats and got a small clutch, making sure my medication for the evening, my phone, and I.D. were inside as a heavy knock sounded from downstairs. I gasped and hurried down,

“You look cold, here,” Steve said as he took off his jacket. It took me a second to realize that in my excitement earlier, I forgot to grab a coat. Steve carefully helped me slip my arms in, wrapping it close to my trembling body with a soft smile. “There you go.”

“Thank you, Steve. Thank you.” I whispered as I held the edges. After dinner, he had offered to walk with me to the ice cream shop for dessert, which I immediately agreed to. I hadn’t ever seen New York at night like this. The only time I did was after the library was destroyed and I was waiting with emergency services until the Bradley’s came to get me.

Steve smiled kindly and nodded, leading me down the sidewalk. I was so caught up in the lights that I didn’t mind his arm around my waist, making sure I was alright. After three blocks I looked over at him and smiled.

“It’s nice isn’t it?” He asked, his face showing his amusement with his wide smile and focused eyes.

“I haven’t been out this late since-” I gulped and looked down. “Since the attack. This is my second time out this late.” My hand shook as I grabbed a bench and sat down. Steve joined me and smiled softly as he listened. “It was about 20 of us trapped in the library. We didn’t want to go outside because we were afraid of what would happen if we did. These two men, everyone called them Iron Man and Captain America, they saved us. They were part of the people called the Avengers. They stopped the attack…. And got us out of there.” I looked up at Steve. “The recovery team took care of me until my parents came and got me. I had to get a new car… mine was destroyed in the attack. I just… I wish I could’ve thanked them.” I looked back down before saying, “I’m not hungry for ice cream anymore.”

Steve nodded. “Okay. Let’s go to the car and I can drive you home.” He got up and held out his hand, which I gently took as I stood. I kept his hand in mine as we walked to the parking garage where he parked. As we got to the car and Steve dug through his pockets for the keys, we heard a click, one that I only heard in films. Steve and I turned around to find three guns pointed at us, two at him, one at me. I’ve seen this in movies, like in Superman from 1978 or in that movie Clueless. I immediately clutched Steve’s arm, the fear of my mortality and lack of Asgardian powers making my hands tremble.

“Give us your wallets. Now.” One of the men who had his gun pointed at Steve demanded.

“I-I don’t have one-”

“Shut it you dumb slut! Both of you! Wallets!” The one pointing his gun at me yelled, causing me to grip onto Steve’s arm tightly. I looked up at Steve to find him standing there with a very displeased look across his face.

“Son, I advise you apologize to her.”

“Steve just give them your wallet okay?” I whispered. He shook his head and stood in front of me.

“What tough guy? You trying to be scary and tough in front of the slut huh?” The other mugger asked as he clicked a bullet into place. I tried to reach for Steve to stop him, but the one that had his gun at me aimed it for my head, causing me to freeze and stare.

“I said to apologize to her. Now.” Steve demanded as his fists clenched.

“The slut doesn’t need an apology-” Steve quickly swung his fist, knocking out the man who had his gun at me immediately.

One of the others grabbed Steve and punched him as the other one grabbed me and pressed me against the car, keeping the gun pointed at my chin as he grabbed Steve’s jacket, trying to feel through his pockets for the wallet. He finally grabbed it, laughing as he threw me to the ground.

I tried to catch myself, but I felt the impact on my head, causing me to wince in pain and grip my head tightly. I slowly looked up to Steve fighting the one that just had the gun pointed at me. I looked to see the other two unconscious on the ground as Steve grabbed the man and punched him hard, knocking him out. He retrieved his wallet and hurried to my side, checking my head as I looked up at him with blurred vision.

“S-Steve- What has gotten into you?” I shakily asked as he pocketed my phone and his wallet. He sighed and picked me up, setting me in the passenger seat of the car carefully and buckling me up.

“I got a friend that can patch you up. Just calm down and I’ll explain soon.” He said before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. He began to drive through the city, gripping the steering wheel tightly in anger. I weakly reached over, not caring how much I wanted to sleep, or how much my head hurt, and touched his arm, causing him to relax a little. I gave him a soft smiled before my eyes closed, allowing the darkness to pull me away.

About two hours later, I woke up to the feeling of warmth surrounding me and an unfamiliar feeling on my head. Not pain, but it was comfortable. I slowly opened my eyes as different voices fill my ears.

“Thank you, Bruce. I didn’t know who to turn to and the hospital didn’t feel like a right choice-”

“It’s okay Steve. Are you ready for when she wakes up though? I’m sure if she wakes up here, she will have a few questions.”

“I know. I know. I’ll figure it out. When will everyone else be back?”

“Clint and Nat will be back soon, Tony probably is on his way up from his lab.”

“And Thor?”

“He’s just in his room- Look who’s awake?”

Looking up as my vision adjusted, Steve was across the room with a slightly shorter man who had brown hair, some glasses, and a suit on. Steve crossed the room quickly to be at my side.

“Steve I-”

“How are you feeling? Do you need water?”

“Steve, what happened back there? And who is this? Where am I?” I demanded as I began to sit up.

Steve placed a hand on my shoulder and pressed gently, causing me to lay back down before letting out a soft sigh. “You’re at the Avengers Tower. This is my friend Bruce. You hit your head back at the parking garage and I needed to make sure you were okay. Would you like some water?’

I nodded slowly and Bruce walked over with a nice cold cup of water, smiling softly. After drinking some I looked around before looking up at Steve. “Wait, why are we in the Avengers Tower?”

“Y/N I-”

“I heard we had a guest!” A loud voice erupted from the elevator, causing us all to look over. I knew that face, of course, I had to know it. The man walked over and I couldn’t stop my own words from falling out of my mouth.

“You’re Tony Stark.”

“Yes, I am! Capsicle, this is not what I expected but you do have good taste-”

“Capsicle? Steve, what is he talking about?” I interrupted, looking at him with shock.

Steve moved a bit closer and sighed. “Remember the library? Where those two men saved you?” I nodded slowly, allowing him to continue. “Tony is Iron Man, Bruce is the Hulk, and I’m-”

“You’re Captain America,” I whispered, sitting up a bit. This time he didn't stop me, he was too busy looking down ashamed to do that. I sighed softly and hugged him close, bringing shock to not only him, but the other two. “Thank you,” I whispered in his ear. I then shakily stood and hugged Tony before sitting.

“I’ll take that as you’re not mad?” Steve asked, shock drawn across his face. I shook my head and smiled softly.

“First you saved my life, and then took me on one of the best dates I’ve had in a long time. Why would I be mad Steve?” I replied, holding his hand as I rested back. “So… Captain America?”

Steve smiled and nodded. “Yep. With the shield and everything.”

“That makes you about 100 years old.” I laughed softly. “I can say, for an old man you’re quite attractive.” I continued.

Right as Steve was about to answer, the elevator opened again and a loud voice erupted. “100 is nothing. Try 1000- Y/N?”

I sat up quickly as the figure entered the room and stared at me. I slowly began to stand as the familiarity hit me. “Thor?”

“Lady Y/N.” He replied, a wide smile forming across his face. I ran across the room quickly, hugging him as tight as I could. He picked me up and spun me around, before holding me close. He smelled of Asgard, the smells I longed, the smells I missed. “We’ve all been wondering where you’ve been! It’s been quite a while!”

Tony stepped forward, Steve not too far behind as the questions began to flow.

“How do you and Sparkles know each other?”

“Since when did you know him?”

Thor and I ignored them, completely invested in each other. He finally set me down on my own two feet, but kept a grip on my hips, as I kept a grip on his arms.

“Odin banished me. I thought I’d never see you or Loki again.”

“I know why. Heimdall told me. I deeply apologize for what has happened.”

I shrugged, looking down before asking. “How is he?”

“He was the one that attacked New York. He’s locked up now in an Asgardian prison. But most importantly, he is grieving you.”

“Grieving?”

“He knows father banished you, but not why. He longs your return.”

We were both snapped out of our discussion as Steve spoke up. “Can someone please tell us what is going on here?!”

Thor and I looked from Steve to each other, nodding before I went to sit on the couch, Steve by my side. “It’s a long story.”

After I explained everything to Steve, how I was at one point with Loki, and how I was with his child, I let him process things as I walked out to the balcony. The view was beautiful. I never got a chance to see New York from this high up before. I carefully rubbed my stomach, feeling like I was reassuring the baby, but I was actually reassuring myself. All I could think of were the bad possibilities.

What if they locked me up? What if they took me back to Asgard and locked me up? Would I never see Thor again? Or Steve? And what about Loki? Would I ever really see him again?

I was pulled from my thoughts when a figure joined my side, the redhead everyone called Nat.

“So….” She whispered, turning her gaze to me, as I kept mine to the skyline. “You dated Loki?”

I nodded slowly, looking to her. “For quite a few years before I arrived here.”

“And you are pregnant with his kid?”

“That is why I was banished. Is there a point?”

“Are you… upset? Over what happened a couple of months ago?”

“I wasn’t aware of who it was until….quite recently. All I was told was that the Chitauri attacked. During the attack, I was trapped in the library, so I only saw the aftermath. I don’t know of Loki’s motives besides his grief of my leaving. I have lost everything, Loki, my home. I’ve had to start anew in an unfamiliar place, with nobody I knew. I have to raise this child alone. Of course, I am upset-”

“You’re not alone.” Steve’s voice spoke up, causing both Nat and I to turn to him. He stood in the doorway with his head down, his hands shoved in his pockets.

“Wh-What?”

“You have your “parents”. And you have me. And all of the Avengers. But please, let me help you, Y/N. Let me help you raise this baby. I know I’m not the father and I am no good at understanding kids but-”

“Yes,” I whispered, walking up to him slowly.

“What?” He asked quickly, lifting his head to make eye contact.

“Yes. You can help.” I whispered before hugging his waist, resting my head on his chest. I felt him slowly pull his hands out of his pocket and wrap his arms around me, keeping me close as he rested his chin on the top of my head. “Just… promise you’ll stay Steve. Promise me you’ll stay with me.”

All he gave was a nod and hold me. Nat slipped away to join the others inside, leaving us to hug as the city lights shined bright behind us. Just us. And for the first time in what seemed like forever,

I was home.

[sillylittlewritings0]

My Favorite Hero

Peter Parker x Reader 

Warnings: Slight mugging violence I guess? Nothing else 

Prompt: Y/N gets saved from a mugging by Peter, and Y/N becomes infatuated with Spider-Man while not knowing who he really is. 

You cursed to yourself under your breath, as you hugged your coat tighter to your body. It was really stupid of you to be walking home this late at night, and especially alone. It’s not like you had any other choice, since both your parents worked, and you missed the bus from school. Still nothing about the circumstances of the situation made it any less creepy or dangerous. Walking around in Queens at night as a young girl? Yea, you heard all the horror stories. Speeding up to get home faster, you were only two blocks away from making it home, when you felt something sharp poke against your back. 

“I’ll make it easy for you. Hand over the bag, and you won’t have to make a trip to the hospital” said a deep male voice from behind you. 

You complied right away, as fear overcame your body. Still feeling upset at the fact that you lost your wallet and expensive headphones to a creep mugger, but better than literally being stabbed in the back. As the mugger checked the valuables inside your bag, he made a dash to the dark alley next to you. You slowly began walking away, feeling violated and vulnerable, but suddenly stopped when you heard noises coming from the alley the mugger disappeared in. It sounded like a struggle, a fight going on, and a curious sound? You couldn’t place it, but you did know that it sounded sticky. You stood still, waiting to see if the noises revealed themselves, when you felt a tap on your shoulder from behind you. You spun around, ready to attack off another mugger. 

“Woah! woah! woah! woah! It’s okay, I’m- I’m a good guy!” said a figure dressed in red and blue spandex.

You lowered your fists, and relaxed. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. You’re Spider-Man, and I almost just punched you” you said. 

He chuckled, “It’s okay, you were scared. Nice to know you’re a tough girl who can protect herself.” 

You scoffed slightly, “Yea, well not that great at it. I lost all my things to that creep.”

After you replied, the masked superhero held out your bag the mugger stole from you. 

“You did the right thing, and made sure to keep yourself safe and unharmed. Which is the real super heroic trait. In- In my opinion anyway, uh, I mean, you were really brave” he said. 

You happily accepted your book bag back from him, and in response hugged him out of pure joy and appreciation. 

“Oh! Um, wow-”

“Thank you! Thank you so much, I thought I lost everything I had” you said as you started tearing up. 

“Oh of course! I mean, just doing my job, miss!” you couldn’t see it, but the superhero was blushing under his mask. 

You quickly realized you were still hugging him, and let go of him in embarrassment. 

“My bad, I um just really appreciate it. You’re a life saver, literally” you told him as you fiddled nervously with you bag straps. 

He patted your back before you let go, “Anytime Y/N! Whenever you find yourself in trouble, you can count on me to be there” he said. 

And with that, he webbed himself out of the street and into the darkness of Queens. You made your way home safely, and recalled the past experience. Spider-Man sounded... young? Like someone your age? You could hardly believe that anyone your age could be so caring and selfless to be someone as heroic as Spider-Man. You smiled and sighed to yourself as you remembered the masked man’s kind words to you. You always had a thing for heroic guys, with a small crush on Thor and Captain America, but this one felt different. Instead of some silly impossible crush, it felt very possible. As if you could very well fall for the guy. But you pushed that thought out of your head as you got ready for bed. Laying there falling asleep, you almost forgotten that Spider-Man knew your name. How and why did he know that?

*At school the next day*

You walked the halls of Midtown High to make your way to your English class. It had been at least three weeks since your brush with the mugging and being saved by Spider-Man. In that time, you became quite a bit of a fan of the hero. With a few Spider-Man stickers on your binders and notebooks, and even sporting a Spider-Man shirt on some days. Some of it admiration, and some of it due to the crush. You made it inside your class and took your usual seat next to a fellow student, Peter Parker. Peter was undoubtedly the nicest and sweetest guy you have ever met. He always helped you with any homework or classwork you had trouble with. He also had great taste in movies, with your shared love for Star Wars. You two talked often, but mostly remained friendly acquaintances. Even if you did find him cute, you never quite had the guts to take the chance to push it forward. Sitting in class listening to the teacher’s lesson, you felt Peter’s eyes fall on your binder, riddled with Spider-Man stickers. You could see Peter laugh quietly to himself from the corner of your eye. He took out a piece of paper and scribbled on it before passing it to you. 

“Quite the fan of Spidey now? ;)” 

“Oh, yea haha. I had a little run in with him after almost being stabbed in a mugging. If I’m being honest, I felt a little smitten with him.” 

“I’m so glad you’re okay, that’s so awful and I’m sorry you had to go through that. But oh really? Spandex must be the new hot thing with the ladies!”

“It’s okay, I had my favorite hero to save me :) I mean, the spandex were pretty hot haha, but it’s really his kind and heroic nature that created this lil crush. It takes a lot to do the right thing and stand up to all the bad things in this city. Anyone who can do the right thing is a real hero.”

You looked over to Peter, who had a slight blush on his cheeks after reading your last reply, and he was about to reply when the teacher caught you. 

“Y/N! Peter! Since you two found your notes more compelling than the lesson, you can review what you missed in detention.” 

“S-sorry Mrs. Joseph...” you and Peter both replied and sank into your chairs from all the eyes that turned to stare at you. 

*After detention*

You know you shouldn’t say it, but you were really glad to have gotten detention with Peter. Since Coach Wilson could not be bothered (or paid enough) to care, you and Peter spent most of detention joking around, laughing together, and talking to each other. There was even more to the sweet guy who sat next to you in English. He told you about his favorite sandwich shop in Queens, and how he liked his sandwiches made. How annoying it was to have his Aunt May constantly hit on, and he even told you about his Uncle Ben dying. You told him how you are almost always alone with your parents working, what kind of books you read, and even some of your old superhero crushes. Those three hours in detention flew by as you and Peter got to know each other more. After detention, Peter was even sweet enough to walk you home, after your mugging. You two arrived at your door, and Peter stood with his hand in his pockets. 

“As much as it sucks to get detention, it was really great to talk to you more” Peter said. 

“I feel the same way Peter. You’re so much fun to be around, I haven’t laughed like that in a long time” you said shyly. 

He smiled at you, and you thanked him for walking you home and insisting that he put your number in his phone so he could text when he got home. Peter’s heart swelled at the gesture. You both bid each other goodnight and went your separate ways. After 20 min, a text popped up from an unsaved number. 

“Hey :) Just wanted to tell you I made it home now.”

“Thanks for letting me know <3 the streets can be so scary and I speak from experience.”

“No problem, and they shouldn’t be too scary, everyone can count on their Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, and especially you can <3.”

“I think I have heard that somewhere before :) Thank you Peter, good night :*”

“Goodnight Y/N <3″ 

You clicked your phone off, and rolled over to go to bed, your heart smiling. You woke up to a soft tapping coming from your window that woke you from a deep sleep. Groaning, you rose up from bed, and walked to your window. Opening it, you saw nothing at first, till a quick flash of red and blue appeared in your face, upside down. You jumped afar, and almost screamed, till you realized who it was. 

“Spidey! My god, you scared me half to death!” you laughed. 

“I’m really sorry! I just wanted to see you again, it’s been awhile” Spidey replied. 

“You wanted to see me again? Just a random citizen you saved?” you asked questionably. 

“A little birdie told me that someone may have a bit of a crush on me” he winked with his mask eye toward you. 

You blushed, and felt upset. “You know Peter Parker?! More than that, he told you?? I told him that in confidence!” you yelled as you hid your face away in your hands.

Spidey quickly replied, “Hey, hey! Calm down, it’s okay! He... he didn’t tell me, trust me. In fact, in a way, you told me yourself” he said shyly. 

You looked up at him, confused. “What? There’s... there is NO way I could have told you, unless you have been following me?” you said. 

“WHAT NO NO NOOONO! I promise I’m not a creeper- I just- I- well..” he struggled to get out his words. 

He finally sighed, and turned himself upright to crawl into your room. He faced you, and took off his mask. 

“PETER?!” you screamed quietly. 

“I know, it’s a lot to take in, and I hope you aren’t freaking out too bad! It- it’s just that, I really like you, Y/N, and I have for awhile now. Since you have been sitting next to me in English. And today when we talked, I got to know you a lot, and started liking you even more. Then you told me about your crush on Spider-Man, and well um, now here we are” Peter stammered out to you. 

You stood there, taking it all in. Was this the reason why you felt so different when you were crushing on Spider-Man, the reason why you felt like you had a chance? Had you somehow subconsciously knew it was Peter? You did always thing he was so sweet and cute. 

“Peter... this is incredible. Dangerous and stressful none the less, but it’s so you! You’re the sweet boy who is always ready to help any one in need, with the biggest and caring heart. It only makes sense that you’re the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” you said. 

He smiled, and started to walk closer to you. You embraced each other, and he caressed your face. Peter started deep into your eyes, before closing his eyes and leaning in to kiss you. You closed your eyes and responded to the kiss. Twisting your fingers in his hair, you deepened the kiss and ran your tongue over his bottom lip. After five minutes of making out, you two broke the kiss for some air. 

“Wow, I have been waiting awhile to do that. I really like you Y/N” Peter said. 

“I really like you too, Parker” you smirked to him. 

He pulled you in for another kiss, smiling the whole time.   

[moed-socialdesign]

Week 13 - December 1st

We’re back after a very different kind of school Thanksgiving break! The check-in this week was break highlights. 

Some of us relaxed and played video games. others caught up on work. Lydia baked an apple pie. Bryn went biking with her family. John visited with his cousins. Becky made her parent’s cheesy potato recipe!

Then we got back into the groove. Becky went over the agenda, and we looked at our community agreements, and reviewed the blog.

The two focuses for today were SPECTRUMS and PROTOYPING 

Spectrum Thinking:

As a group we narrowed down our favorite spectrums to the top 5 on the slide below, and then we starting gathering images in preparation for our workshop with job seekers. We split up into teams to find photos on Pexel and Unsplash.

Prototype Reflections:

Then we switched gears and shared our prototyping homework. A lot of us enjoyed doing something so different from our usual online work. People thought it was fun, and liked the crafty materials and physicality. Some appreciated the process of sketching and drawing by hand before going straight to digital programs. 

I like, I wish, What If...

After that, each person presented their idea and then we took a minute to leave sticky note comments in the format of “I like,” “I wish,” “What if?” In total the group made 14 different analogue prototypes using colored paper, markers, pens, glue, and stickers.

we had so much feedback to give we had to break in the middle for lunch!

Prototyping Teams

After we finished up reviewing each prototype, we then began categorizing each of the ideas. We broke them up into these groups:

Quizzes (quick quiz, comfort-level survey)

Website (chat features, calendar, icons, staff directory, job search functions)

Printed (booklet and postcard, mailer)

Promotion (storytelling ads, Facebook Live behind-the-scenes)

Other (job seeker journey map, wellness club, job seeker library cards)

Everyone assigned themselves a category to work on and develop into higher quality prototypes for the final presentation. Becky shared with us some presentations and prototypes from previous classes, including the Baltimore Campaign for Grade-level Reading. The students called it "StoryMore" and created buttons, stickers, a logo, and all kinds of branding materials to “Rally a City of Readers”

Spectrums Workshop with Job Seekers

At 2pm some of the job seekers from our interviews joined us to develop some image spectrums. Becky asked us to use one word to describe our dream MOED. Here were the answers:

Becky - accessible Lydia - personalized Yael - uplifting Melissa - well-known Estela - brilliant Iris - multi-faceted John - limitless Bryn - intuitive Tameaka - realness

Estela presented to our visitors what spectrums are, and how we develop word pairings with opposite views to help us visualize the vibe of our design work. 

We then stepped into breakout rooms and took the images we had gathered earlier in the day and began to line them up along a scale. Below are some examples. The group for Spectrum 3 chose the abstract sculpture to represent the most imaginative visual, and the clock and notebook to represent the most pragmatic. 

We wrapped up the workshop by sharing our favorite images and by then, class itself was almost over. 

Becky went over the homework and we split up into teams to do two very important jobs for next week, creating the VISION and VISUALS.

The vision team (Lydia, Yael, and Estela) would work on the words, like a new name and motto for MOED. The visuals team (Bryn, John, and Melissa) would work on the colors, images, and type for the re-branding. 

and then, as usual, we ended with a good ‘ol clap out! 

[purefunskatezine]

BANNED IN ST. LOUIS

Friend and Pure Fun contributor, Matt Picker, originally wrote this article for our 13th issue but seeing as Ban This just turned 30 years old, I figured it would be fun to publish it online for everyone to enjoy. - Larry

Summer ‘89: I was living in Chesterfield, Missouri, a western suburb of St. Louis, about to start my first year of junior high. My younger brother and I were certifiable skate rats and card-carrying members of the Bones Brigade- not the actual Bones Brigade, of course, but the mail-in fan club version created by Powell Peralta to keep skateboarders immersed in news, tour dates, and product offering in the days before the internet. It was always a great joy to come home and see that large white envelope sitting on the kitchen counter, adorned with the familiar red Rat Bones stamp and Santa Barbara, CA return address.

Powell Peralta was my favorite skateboard company, and I spent many hours foregoing schoolwork to meticulously doodle their various logos and pro model graphics in the margins of notebooks and test papers. At the time, Powell videos like The Search For Animal Chin and Public Domain were the undisputed holy bibles of skateboarding: the standard to which all others aspired, the videos you watched before embarking on daylong skate adventures or all-nighter parking lot sessions.

One afternoon late in the summer, an envelope from Powell arrived in the mail. Usually these would carry Intelligence Reports (the Bones Brigade ‘zine) and a few stickers, along with the occasional patch, folded poster, or postcard autographed by a team rider like Tommy Guerrero or Kevin Harris. However, this one was different. Instead of the normal assemblage of Bones-branded swag, this one contained a folded paper invitation, which read:

Imagine yourself sitting with Tony Hawk, Ray Barbee, Lance Mountain, Stacy Peralta, and George Powell, watching the World Premier of “Ban This”, our newest video production. Got that? You’re there with your popcorn and your drink and there’s McGill sitting next to you and it’s showtime! Too good to be true? Well, it’s all possible because Powell Peralta is bringing the World Premiere of “Ban This” to St. Louis and, because you’re a Bones Brigade member, you’re invited to the very showing ever on Sat. Nov. 18at the Sheldon Concert Hall. Just follow these simple instructions to obtain your 2 free tickets…

Was someone messing with me? Surely this couldn’t be real. Head spinning, I called up my friend Dave, who lived on the next street over. A fellow Brigadier, he had just received it too. Minutes later, he was at my house, invitation in hand. We could barely comprehend what we were looking at: things like this just simply didn’t happen in St. Louis. Sure, we had some demos here and there, but a Powell Peralta video premiere? An event of this magnitude may go down in California, but not here in the middle of the rust belt. None of it made any sense, but we weren’t going to question it.

I immediately grabbed the phone and dialed up Powell HQ, reserving our tickets for the debut screening of Ban This on Saturday, November 18, 1989. A few weeks later, they finally showed up in the mail. This was really happening. To say that the level of excitement was high amongst my group of friends would be a massive understatement- we talked about it almost nonstop. Speculation ran wild: how could Public Domain be topped? What new tricks would be debuted? Who would have the opening segment? Which members of the (actual) Bones Brigade would be in attendance? Was Johnny Rad going to play? It was almost too much for our juvenile, skate-addled brains to process.

After an excruciating few months, the long anticipated day finally rolled around. More correspondence had trickled in from Powell in the interim- there would be an autograph signing beforehand at Splash, our local skate shop, featuring Tony Hawk, Ray Barbee, Steve Saiz, and Ray Underhill (along with Stacy Peralta himself). Luckily it was an unseasonably balmy afternoon, because the line snaking into Splash spilled out the front door and creeped down past several storefronts, hundreds of kids long. Despite being perched awkwardly behind a glass display counter on barstools for the better part of two hours dealing with an endless line of skateboard-wielding kids, the Brigade was all smiles, doling out innumerable autographs, shaking hands and posing for pictures with any kid who wanted one.

That evening a group of us piled into someone’s mom’s car and took off, getting to the Sheldon early to take it all in. The buzz was off the charts as we finally took our seats and the room went dim. I will never forget the deafening roar of the packed theater as the screen turned blue and a gigantic Ripper the size of a two-story house poked his bony fingers through the screen and tore out, laughing maniacally. You’ve obviously seen Ban This so I won’t go into too many details on the video itself, but suffice to say that starting with Frankie Hill’s monstrous opening segment and lasting straight through to Tony Hawk’s jaw-dropping 540 ollie ender, it was a scene of sheer, barely-containable pandemonium. You could have powered a small city with the energy in that hall.

After the video ended, everyone filed upstairs to a ballroom for an extended meet & greet/hangout with the Powell pros. The huge room was decorated with cardboard stand-ups of the lab professor who narrated the video, and numerous red winged ripper banners peppered the walls. There was even a little bulldog running around that everyone joked was the very dog that stole Lance Mountain’s board in Public Domain, flown in for the occasion. The scene was overall very chill, at least compared to the near-riot that had ensued in the theater, and to just be there in a room casually mingling with people like Tony Hawk and Ray Barbee, chatting about skateboarding, ramp building and whatever else was nothing short of surreal.

Splash Skate Shop, we later discovered, was an instrumental component in the St. Louis world premiere coming to fruition; yet despite extensive prodding from myself and my friends in the months following Ban This, the owner was always very vague on the details, usually smiling and saying something to the effect of “I just worked it out with Stacy”. My brother recounts, “I have a very hazy recollection that he just asked and they said OK, if he arranged everything”. Could it really have been that simple?

Whatever the circumstances, to this day, I consider that event to be a real milestone in my life. What an unbelievable privilege it was to be one of the first 150 people in the world to see a brand new Powell Peralta video- at the height of their dominance- was not lost on me then or now. Luckily, I kept everything I ever received associated with that night- very likely some of the only remaining copies in existence- and I’m happy to get to share them with everyone reading this issue of Pure Fun. Even today, watching Ban This (and all the old Powell classics) continues to provide maximum stoke, fueling my quest to cheat adulthood and stay young forever, which I’m happy to say is still going strong at 37.

[magzoso-tech]

New Post has been published on https://magzoso.com/tech/macbook-pro-16-first-impressions-return-of-the-mack/

MacBook Pro 16” first impressions: Return of the Mack

In poker, complacency is a quiet killer. It can steal your forward momentum bit by bit, using the warm glow of a winning hand or two to cover the bets you’re not making until it’s too late and you’re out of leverage. 

Over the past few years, Apple’s MacBook game had begun to suffer from a similar malaise. Most of the company’s product lines were booming, including newer entries like the Apple Watch, AirPods and iPad Pro. But as problems with the models started to mount — unreliable keyboards, low RAM ceilings and anemic graphics offerings — the once insurmountable advantage that the MacBook had compared to the rest of the notebook industry started to show signs of dwindling. 

The new 16” MacBook Pro Apple is announcing today is an attempt to rectify most, if not all, of the major complaints of its most loyal, and vocal, users. It’s a machine that offers a massive amount of upsides for what appears to be a handful of easily justifiable tradeoffs. It’s got better graphics, a bigger display for nearly no extra overall size, a bigger battery with longer life claims and yeah, a completely new keyboard.

I’ve only had a day to use the machine so far, but I did all of my research and writing for this first look piece on the machine, carting it around New York City, through the airport and onto a plane where I’m publishing this now. This isn’t a review, but I can take you through some of the new stuff and give you thoughts based on that chunk of time. 

This is a re-think of the larger MacBook Pro in many large ways. This is a brand new model that will completely replace the 15” MacBook Pro in Apple’s lineup, not an additional model. 

Importantly, the team working on this new MacBook started with no design constraints on weight, noise, size or battery. This is not a thinner machine, it is not a smaller machine, it is not a quieter machine. It is, however, better than the current MacBook Pro in all of the ways that actually count.

Let’s run down some of the most important new things. 

Performance and thermals

The 16” MacBook Pro comes configured with either a 2.6GHz 6-core i7 or a 2.3GHz 8-core i9 from Intel. These are the same processors as the 15” MacBook Pro came with. No advancements here is largely a function of Intel’s chip readiness. 

The i7 model of the 16” MacBook Po will run $2,399 for the base model — the same as the old 15” — and it comes with a 512GB SSD drive and 16GB of RAM. 

Both models can be ordered today and will be in stores at the end of the week.

The standard graphics configuration in the i7 is an AMD Radeon Pro 5300M with 4GB of memory and an integrated Intel UHD graphics 630 chip. The system continues to use the dynamic handoff system that trades power for battery life on the fly.  

The i9 model will run $2,699 and comes with a 1TB drive. That’s a nice bump in storage for both models, into the range of very comfortable for most people. It rolls with an AMD Radeon Pro 5500M with 4GB of memory.

You can configure both models with an AMD Radeon Pro 5500M with 8GB of GDDR6 memory. Both models can also now get up to 8TB of SSD storage – which Apple says is the most on a notebook ever – and 64GB of 2666 DDR4 RAM but I’d expect those upgrades to be pricey.

The new power supply delivers an additional 12w of power and there is a new thermal system to compensate for that. The heat pipe that carries air in and out has been redesigned, there are more fan blades on 35% larger fans that move 28% more air compared to the 15” model. 

The fans in the MacBook Pro, when active, put out the same decibel level of sound, but push way more air than before. So, not a reduction in sound, but not an increase either — and the trade is better cooling. Another area where the design process for this MacBook focused on performance gains rather than the obvious sticker copy. 

There’s also a new power brick which is the same physical size as the 15” MacBook Pro’s adapter, but which now supplies 96w up from 87w. The brick is still as chunky as ever and feels a tad heavier, but it’s nice to get some additional power out of it. 

Though I haven’t been able to put the MacBook Pro through any video editing or rendering tests I was able to see live demos of it handling several 8K streams concurrently. With the beefiest internal config Apple says it can usually handle as many as 4, perhaps 5 un-rendered Pro Res streams.

A bigger display, a thicker body

The new MacBook Pro has a larger 16” diagonal Retina display that has a 3072×1920 resolution at 226 ppi. The monitor features the same 500 nit maximum brightness, P3 color gamut and True Tone tech as the current 15”. The bezels of the screen are narrower, which makes it feel even larger when you’re sitting in front of it. This also contributes to the fact that the overall size of the new MacBook Pro is just 2% larger in width and height, with a .7mm increase in thickness. 

The overall increase in screen size far outstrips the increase in overall body size because of those thinner bezels. And this model is still around the same thickness as the 2015 15” MacBook Pro, an extremely popular model among the kinds of people who are the target market for this machine. It also weighs 4.3 lbs, heavier than the 4.02 lb current 15” model.

The display looks great, extremely crisp due to the increase in pixels and even more in your face because of the very thin bezels. This thing feels like it’s all screen in a way that matches the iPad Pro.

This thick boi also features a bigger battery, a full 100Whr, the most allowable under current FAA limits. Apple says this contributes an extra hour of normal operations in its testing regimen in comparison to the current 15” MacBook Pro. I have not been able to effectively test these claims in the time I’ve had with it so far. 

But it is encouraging that Apple has proven willing to make the iPhone 11 Pro and the new MacBook a bit thicker in order to deliver better performance and battery life. Most of these devices are pretty much thin enough. Performance, please.

Speakers and microphone

One other area where the 16” MacBook Pro has made a huge improvement is the speaker and microphone arrays. I’m not sure I ever honestly expected to give a crap about sound coming out of a laptop. Good enough until I put in a pair of headphones accurately describes my expectations for laptop sound over the years. Imagine my surprise when I first heard the sound coming out of this new MacBook and it was, no crap, incredibly good. 

The new array consists of six speakers arranged so that the subwoofers are positioned in pairs, antipodal to one another (back to back). This has the effect of cancelling out a lot of the vibration that normally contributes to that rattle-prone vibrato that has characterized small laptop speakers pretty much forever.

The speaker setup they have here has crisper highs and deeper bass than you’ve likely ever heard from a portable machine. Movies are really lovely to watch with the built-ins, a sentence I have never once felt comfortable writing about a laptop. 

Apple also vents the speakers through their own chambers, rather than letting sound float out through the keyboard holes. This keeps the sound nice and crisp, with a soundstage that’s wide enough to give the impression of a center channel for voice. One byproduct of this though is that blocking one or another speaker with your hand is definitely more noticeable than before.

The quality of sound here is really very, very good. The HomePod team’s work on sound fields apparently keeps paying dividends. 

That’s not the only audio bit that’s better now though, Apple has also put in a 3-mic array for sound recording that it claims has a high enough signal-to-noise ratio that it can rival standalone microphones. I did some testing here comparing it to the iPhone’s mic and it’s absolutely night and day. There is remarkably little hiss present here and artists that use the MacBook as a sketch pad for vocals and other recording are going to get a really nice little surprise here.

I haven’t been able to test it against external mics myself but I was able to listen to rigs that involved a Blue Yeti and other laptop microphones and the MacBook’s new mic array was clearly better than any of the machines and held its own against the Yeti. 

The directional nature of many podcast mics is going to keep them well in advance of the internal mic on the MacBook for the most part, but for truly mobile recording setups the MacBook mic just went from completely not an option to a very viable fallback in one swoop. It really has to be listened to in order to get it. 

I doubt anyone is going to buy a MacBook Pro for the internal mic, but having a ‘pro level’ device finally come with a pro level mic on board is super choice. 

I think that’s most of it, though I feel like I’m forgetting something…

Oh right, the Keyboard

Ah yes. I don’t really need to belabor the point on the MacBook Pro keyboards just not being up to snuff for some time. Whether you weren’t a fan of the short throw on the new butterfly keyboards or you found yourself one of the many people (yours truly included) who ran up against jammed or unresponsive keys on that design — you know that there has been a problem.

The keyboard situation has been written about extensively by Casey Johnston and Joanna Stern and complained about by every writer on Twitter over the past several years. Apple has offered a succession of updates to that keyboard to attempt to make it more reliable and has extended warranty replacements to appease customers. 

But the only real solution was to ditch the design completely and start over. And that’s what this is: a completely new keyboard.

Apple is calling it the Magic Keyboard in homage to the iMac’s Magic Keyboard (but not identically designed). The new keyboard is a scissor mechanism, not butterfly. It has 1mm of key travel (more, a lot more) and an Apple-designed rubber dome under the key that delivers resistance and springback that facilitates a satisfying key action. The new keycaps lock into the keycap at the top of travel to make them more stable when at rest, correcting the MacBook Air-era wobble. 

And yes, the keycaps can be removed individually to gain access to the mechanism underneath. And yes, there is an inverted-T arrangement for the arrow keys. And yes, there is a dedicated escape key.

Apple did extensive physiological research when building out this new keyboard. One test was measuring the effect of a keypress on a human finger. Specifically, they measured the effect of a key on the pacinian corpuscles at the tips of your fingers. These are onion-esque structures in your skin that house nerve endings and they are most sensitive to mechanical and vibratory pressure. 

Apple then created this specialized plastic dome that sends a specific vibration to this receptor making your finger send a signal to your brain that says ‘hey you pressed that key.’ This led to a design that gives off the correct vibration wavelength to return a satisfying ‘stroke completed’ message to the brain.

There is also more space between the keys, allowing for more definitive strokes. This is because the keycaps themselves are slightly smaller. The spacing does take some adjustment, but by this point in the article I am already getting pretty proficient and am having more grief from the autocorrect feature of Catalina than anything else. 

Notably, this keyboard is not in the warranty extension program that Apple is applying to its older keyboard designs. There is a standard 1 year warranty on this model, a statement by the company that they believe in the durability of this new design? Perhaps. It has to get out there and get bashed on by more violent keyboard jockeys than I for a while before we can tell whether it’s truly more resilient. 

But does this all come together to make a more usable keyboard? In short, yes. The best way to describe it in my opinion is a blend between the easy cushion of the old MacBook Air and the low profile stability of the Magic Keyboard for iMac. It’s truly one of the best feeling keyboards they’ve made in years and perhaps ever in the modern era. I reserve the right to be nostalgic about deep throw mechanical keyboards in this regard, but this is the next best thing. 

Pro, or Pro

In my brief and admittedly limited testing so far, the 16” MacBook Pro ends up looking like it really delivers on the Pro premise of this kind of machine in ways that have been lacking for a while in Apple’s laptop lineup. The increased storage caps, bigger screen, bigger battery and redesigned keyboard should make this an insta-buy for anyone upgrading from a 2015 MacBook Pro and a very tempting upgrade for even people on newer models that have just never been happy with the typing experience. 

Many of Apple’s devices with the label Pro lately have fallen into the bucket of ‘the best’ rather than ‘for professionals’. This isn’t strictly a new phenomenon for Apple, but more consumer centric devices like the AirPods Pro and the iPhone Pro get the label now than ever before. 

But the 16” MacBook Pro is going to alleviate a lot of the pressure Apple has been under to provide an unabashedly Pro product for Pro Pros. It’s a real return to form for the real Mack Daddy of the laptop category. As long as this new keyboard design proves resilient and repairable I think this is going to kick off a solid new era for Apple portables.

[cosmosogler]

today i cleaned the bathroom! and made an appointment with a gi place! i don’t know what they want to do. the scheduling lady told me what it was but i didn’t understand, but i didn’t want to ask her to repeat it because i’d already misunderstood a few things she had asked for. so i just said ok and wrote down the address.

then i picked up asher and we hung out for like 8 hours. it was great. i couldn’t shake the feeling i was forgetting to do something all day though. besides, you know, the grad school email thing. i don’t know what it was. i couldn’t think of anything i’d left undone when i got home from dropping him back off at home.

we took the dogs to the park and talked about jojo and sat around and looked at photos of his room’s new paint job and played wwe for the ps4 and screamed at john cena and a bunch of other wrestlers i didn’t recognize. oh but kane was on the roster! i didn’t know he still wrestled. i used to play as him sometimes on, like, the n64 wwe. or maybe the gamecube one. i just looked it up and he’s almost 50. i figured out how to climb the poles in the corners and jump off them to body slam asher’s character.

“how did you do that?” he asked.

“i pressed every button at the same time,” i answered.

then we caught up on steven universe. then i drove us to michaels and we looked at washi tape and stickers for an hour. i kept finding odd things around the store and bringing them to him to identify. like scratch and sniff cat-shaped light bulbs called “num noms.” i think he was worried about boring me, but i had a good time. then we went across the street to an indian restaurant and the curry was godly. i felt bad that i could only eat like a third of my meal though. 

my brother apparently hit another driver on the road today. but he refused to talk to me about it. he only brought it up because i asked if i could take the car. i asked if he was ok a few times and he said yeah. the car didn’t look too bad when asher and i went out later with mom’s car. it’s hard to get a read on my brother, and i might have been projecting, but he seemed kind of rattled. his face was more flushed than usual. so far i’ve only gotten into vehicle tangles with inanimate objects. like the curb at the community college, or the curb at the corner by asher’s house, or the curb near rawhide, or a random piece of concrete at the gas station. i can’t imagine how stressful it must be to bump into another car, even gently. i mean, i dream about it a lot, enough that i’ve come across some individual police officers more than once, but i can always wake up and say “that didn’t really happen.” my brother and sister can’t do that.

i attribute it to luck. my sister is a much better driver than i am. more confident and on top of what’s happening around her, less prone to kind of terrifying bodily malfunctions. like my eyes drying out, which kind of blinds me! she also spends a lot more time on the road than i do. and she hit the other car at like the most common accident spot in the whole city, which she used to drive past every day. i mean, I’VE almost hit cars there, and i used to only drive that way like once a week during low traffic hours. it’s a tiny stretch of road under a bridge that has a little dip. the shadow cast by the bridge makes it very difficult to judge how fast the car in front of you is going, and it’s right before a lane merge, so people are usually slowing down. it’s a “once a day” kind of accident place. every time i go past that spot there’s broken glass on the road.

dad is screaming at his computer game again. he does it every night. the dogs spend more time in my room than with him now. even diogi, and dad is her favorite. i hear him throwing stuff around at his desk. i have trouble sleeping because he makes so much noise. and he turns up the volume on his games so i hear the same background music loop forever every night. 

i hate it.

anyway, i gotta figure out what i’m going to talk about at therapy tomorrow for my allotted 50-60 minutes. i guess i should bring a notebook and work out an exact note to add to my grad school applications. i already have all the email addresses written down in my application excel sheet. i guess i’m nervous because sending the note includes checking which schools have accepted or rejected me so i don’t send out emails to schools that no longer have my file. and... i gotta apply for the visa stuff for london. that requires acknowledging that i am in fact going to grad school in august. the game is getting harder, but i’m not any better at it. 

i WANT to go to grad school, i just worry... that i won’t be good enough, or creative enough to compensate for not being good enough. apparently i get violently physically ill for months at a time if i’m too stressed? which is stressful by itself, but like, it means i have no stamina. i am not a stress marathon runner. i physically cannot do work every single day. i can’t even take in new information every single day. like i’ve been too tired to watch or read anything i haven’t already seen before for like a whole week. sometimes i can’t work for weeks at a time because i get so depressed. how am i going to fulfill my academic and professional obligations if this happens? how can i put in the hard work required to learn (and actually be any good at) physics if i don’t have the energy for it? 

the solution, of course, is to try harder. every moment i spend doing nothing, every day i waste retreading old ground, every hour i spend doing something comfortable instead of doing something difficult, is time i spent being LAZY. every time i decide i have to get a full night’s sleep in order to make it through the next day, i am being weak. every time i stop to make sure i get enough to eat so i don’t get sick i am being thoughtless about the commitment i made. 

and the balancing act required to make use of every second of every day, to make sure everything gets done and i also take care of myself, takes energy and focus i just don’t have. but focus is a matter of trying harder. i know the energy and determination are there somewhere, i just have to keep scraping the bottom of the barrel for that last ounce that has to be there. it has to be. “you can do anything if you put your mind to it.” and if i can’t brute force it then i am not being resourceful or creative or clever enough. if i’m not succeeding i’m doing something wrong.

the solution is not obvious. unless it is and i’ve been missing the forest for the trees or something. i’ve been throwing myself against this problem for like nine years. even when i physically have to stop and take breaks or else i will literally die i haven’t been able to figure out a new angle. what am i missing? is it really just a matter of discipline? can you... even discipline away anxiety and depression and fatigue? 

“i want you to get this thing solved,” mom has said repeatedly. “before grad school.” i don’t think you can solve depression... and every bit of energy i spend fighting it i could have spent learning something new instead. it’s like every day not-sick people wake up on the road, and all they have to do is walk down the road. but i start every day in quicksand. and i have to get out of the quicksand before i can start walking down the road. but sometimes all i can do in a day is get out of the quicksand, and then i wake up the next morning IN THE QUICKSAND AGAIN, RIGHT WHERE I STARTED YESTERDAY. it’s maddening!

you know what else is maddening? knowing, or at least believing, there is a way to make this work. and NOT BEING ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT. i’m too stupid. i’m stunted and retarded like mom said. i am emotionally unable to mature enough to look at the problem in a way that lets me objectively figure out what i should be doing instead of... whatever this is. i don’t have emotions like real people. that’s why i can’t get anyone to stay.

man, i hate everything. i hate feeling dumb. and i hate being just smart enough to know how dumb and helpless i am. 

i dunno. being physically hampered by my heart defect made me focus more on kind of, i guess, taking pride in my thinking and imagination. but i don’t even have that, not really, do i?