#i had a nice wee rest while i was gone

[suuuupernovaaa]

Treat | Hobie Brown x f!Reader

Your innocent image is shattered when Hobie finds your hidden piercing.

Art credit.

Requested by @friedturtlewhispers. Essentially this, with a different piercing.

Mature. Smut. 18+.

The show hasn't been over for two minutes yet when I feel two strong hands on my waist, gripping tight and pulling me backwards. I nearly spill my drink on the already sticky floor of this underground bar as Hobie spins me around, and brings his lips crashing down on to mine.

"Oh!" I let out a muffled gasp of surprise, and feel Hobie's lips turn up into a smile as they still rest against mine. He pulls away, and takes my drink out of my hand. He brings it to his nose, and takes a sniff. "Gin?" He wrinkles his nose, and I open my mouth to defend my choice, but he's already downed it in one gulp.

"Let's get out of here," he says, grabbing my hand and pulling.

"Oh, okay - bye!" I say over my shoulder to the guy I was talking to at the bar - a big fan of the band, who stands with his jaw agape. I find it awkward to mention that I'm sort of, semi, casually but not really casually, dating a band member. It feels like bragging, probably because I'm so proud of it.

We're outside in the cool night air before I know it, and there's a ringing in my ears from the show.

"Did you like it?" Hobie asks as we turn right, heading towards my apartment.

"I always like it," I reply, squeezing his hand. "Why did we leave so fast?"

He leans over, smirking down at me. "I want to be alone with you."

--

As I flop back onto the couch, I hand Hobie the beer he requested. He takes it, and immediately leans forward, setting it on the coffee table. before even taking a drink.

Unable to help myself, I pick it up and place it on the coaster that was only inches away.

Hobie rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. "You can't spend your whole life cleaning up after me."

I shrug. "Sure I can."

He bumps his shoulder into mine, and I lean back into him. Even though I enjoy spending the weekends out with Hobie, lingering in the bars after his shows until the wee hours, it feels so much more my speed to be back home before midnight, relaxed on the couch, just the two of us.

"This is nice," I say with a contented sigh. Hobie's feet are up on the coffee table, and my legs are crossed, one of my knees resting in his lap. He runs his fingers over my bare leg, starting on my shin and up over my knee. The lights are off, and the dull light of a horror film is the only thing lighting the room. I don't really like scary movies, but Hobie enjoys them as background noise.

I lay my head on his shoulder as his hand moves further up, brushing against the fabric of my skirt, and pausing for a moment as if to ask for permission.

We've been seeing each other for a while, enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other, but physically, it hasn't gone all that far. It almost has, a few times, but Hobie's always had some emergency to attend to.

I feel a little foolish... but I'd almost like to be able to call him my boyfriend before we go any further. I know we're adults, but the label means something to me, anyway.

When I don't protest, his fingers snake up under my skirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake. My breathing is coming more rapidly now, my heart pounding, and his fingers are almost at my panties now. I'm stiff as a board, tense, waiting for his next move.

"Before we... can I ask you something?" I say.

"Anything, love," he replies, but doesn't move his hand. He's tracing soft circles on my inner thigh, and it's hard to gather my thoughts. I remove my head from his shoulder so I can look at him.

His eyes are dark, his lips parted just slightly, and when I glance down, I see the bulge in his pants. I feel an ache in my lower stomach, and wetness between my thighs.

"Are you, or like, am I your..." The words are going as fast as they're coming, and my mouth is dry.

"You're my girl. My only girl. I'm yours." His words are assertive, sure, and his gaze is locked steadily on mine.

I grab his shirt, pulling him to me for a desperate kiss, so elated with his words and so beyond ready for him to do absolutely anything he wants to me.

Leaning back to lay on the couch, I pull him so that he's on top of me, he settles between my legs while his tongue explores my mouth.

His hand finds its way up my thigh again, and runs underneath the waistband of my underwear. His thumb dips down and brushes softly over my clit, and I gasp.

So does he.

"What's that?" he asks, and a blush settles over my cheeks. He sits up just a little, so he can look me in the eyes. "Is that a... piercing?"

I purse my lips a little and nod. "Yes."

"Fuck me, Y/N." He brings his mouth back to mine with twice the fervor of before, and pulls my panties to the side as he does, running two warm fingers over my clit, down to my entrance, and back. "I can't believe... you have that pierced. Oh, fuck, I'm so hard," he moans into my mouth, and I arch my back off the couch as he uses his fingers to trace circles around my piercing.

"Oh, Hobie," I moan, grasping his back. He sits up suddenly, removing his hand from me, and I collapse back onto the couch in a huff.

He takes his vest and shirt off, and then pulls my panties and skirt down over my legs. There isn't a moment to breath before his face is between my legs, and he takes my clit into his mouth, sucking and biting gently, then dragging his tongue down to my entrance to gather the wetness that is quickly forming there.

"Hobie!" I gasp, holding his shoulders tightly. He doesn't let up. He brings up two fingers, teasing at my entrance as he takes my clit back into his mouth, and pushes them gently inside me. "Oh, God," I moan, pressing down onto his fingers as they fuck me.

He's making the most delicious noises, humming and grunting and moaning as he works, showing me no mercy. I feel absolutely desperate with need, and every time he thrusts his fingers in, I grind down on them.

"Oh, god, oh, shit," I gasp as he brings me closer and closer to the edge. He rolls the piercing around his mouth with expert precision, working delicately and then biting down, keeping me always guessing, driving me to ecstasy.

He pulls away just for a moment to look up at me. "Cum for me," he demands, and when he brings his lips back to my swollen mound, I explode. I scream his name as I do, unashamedly loud in my orgasm, and he continues his assault, giving me wave after wave of pleasure, until I am absolutely exhausted.

He brings his head up to mine, and grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"What the fuck, Y/N?" he says with a teasing smile, and kisses me firmly. "That's a hell of a surprise."

I grin shyly back at him. "That's the point."

"You're so... innocent. Your ears aren't even pierced! You almost never swear. You go to church, for christ sake!"

I roll my eyes. "Only on holidays with my parents."

"Still," he replies with a laugh. "What a fuckin' treat."

[cute-sucker]

babysitting the sweetheart (part one-series)

[01.04.2024]

note: i wrote this a while ago, and it will be a series!! i have the plot figured out so it will be very very fluffy. (ask to be tagged btw!!) words: 1.3k summary: you're new to town, enjoying a coffee when rafe cameron's little daughter approaches you. you'll be fine...right?

part one

quite honestly going to the normal coffee place you went to every morning was supposed to be comforting. it wasn't supposed to be the place to be attacked by a 5 year old, and it was definitely not the place where you felt like you were going to die of fear. 

a very cute five-year-old at that, with pigtails and big blue eyes. she bounced up and down, with a big wobbly smile on her face. she had a pink princess dress on and a tiara that was bound to fall. 

you were mid-bite before she caught your hand. 

"can i have some? please, please, please," she pleaded to you. you choked on your hot coffee and watched struggle to her plop herself onto one of the high chairs. 

you searched for her parents, and then gave her a small tentative smile, before gently asking the question that was on your mind. 

"honey, where are your parents?" 

she quickly wilted, and you swore there were tears in her eyes, 

"i can't find my daddy. he told me not to go far but i didn't listen and now i might never find my daddy," she gasped out quickly. 

now you were alert, gritting your teeth and searching your surroundings. your few months in kildare had been nice, and it was the best place to rest and take some time off. but everything was so goddamn expensive. you'd never lived so lavishly, wearing the same clothes for weeks on end. 

this was supposed to be your new start, as you cleaned tables at night, and tried to write music during the day. you had always wanted to be an artist, and the beachy waves and cool lemonade persuaded you to continue. 

but with this little girl in front of you, you felt panicked. you turned around to look around once again before you set your eyes on her - she was sobbing, clutching her necklace that had the initial 'r,' on it. 

fat tears rolled down her face, and before you knew it you were carrying her off, embracing her in your arms and buying her two marshmallow cupcakes.

 honestly, the barista was nicer to her than he was ever nice to you. 

you made sure to tease him about that later, but now you had other things on your mind. 

"so what does he look like?" you asked her again. 

she pouted and let out a cry. then she got up, wiping her tears before stretching her arm in the air.

 "wee tall, and this big, and he's my daddy." 

"it's okay!" you said quickly, cursing yourself for asking the little five-year-old. "we'll find him, you couldn't have gone that far-" 

"wait! that's my daddy, it's him-" and then jumped out of his arm to the shadowy figure behind you. 

"i-" 

the figure picked her up, clutching her tightly. he was drop-dead gorgeous. you wondered how a man could be damn hot. with broad shoulders, dirty blonde buzzed hair and blue eyes that had an unhealthy hold on you. 

one, he was young to be a father, two he was pissed. 

the owner of the cafe suddenly burst out of the kitchen, "mr. cameron! what a delight to have you here. let me show you around-"

yet, he completely ignored him, kissing her daughter, and then looked up at you. he gave you a look that you'd given a mosquito.

"who the hell are you?" he seethed through gritted teeth, eyes set on your face. you felt beads of sweat drip down your forehead. okay, okay, calm down. 

"hey, listen-" 

"daddy!"

he stopped in his tracks, to look down at the little girl. he smiled at her softly, gently tracing her face. 

"hey love, where did you go? you know you should go off on your own," he told her gently, brushing away her stray hairs. he looked as if she was his whole world. she gave him a giddy smile and then pointed at the cupcake you had given you. 

her cheeks were full like chipmunks, and she looked way too adorable. 

"she saved me." 

suddenly he peered up at you, eyes squinted with an emotion you couldn't figure out. but then he went cold, giving you a small nod. 

you felt shivers travel all the way down to your spine. 

you felt like you should have known him because he had this aura. that he was important, and something in you wanted to please him. to make him happy, but you knew there was no winning with him. 

you were so lost in his eyes, that you noticed the strange look he was giving you. 

"thank you, ms-?" he prompted, his voice cold as ice. 

"uh, [last name]," you stammered out, feeling a bit off balance under his piercing gaze.

"well, thank you for looking after my daughter," he said, his voice softening slightly as he shifted his attention back to the little girl in his arms.

then he turned away, with his little girl nestled near his chest. while they turned around, she furiously waved at you, blowing air kisses. you found yourself smiling uncontrollably. 

your coffee was cold by the time you got to it. 

x

you scooted into your job, working at the local convenient job was embarrassing. it took hours for anything to happen, and the pay...

the pay was horrible! 

"it's time for your shift," jared commented, scrolling through his phone. he was a total tool who worked at the store to learn "life skills." his parents lived on figure eight, and were loaded. 

you trudged out there and found yourself at the cashier. 

"hi, ms. carrera!" you found yourself saying, serving your customers. 

the hours passed and you lay in the break room to rest. 

jared was still on his phone. here you were again, life sucked, and your phone was ringing. you got up, looking at the cracked screen. 

you had dropped it at least a million times. 

it was an unknown number, but who knew? you picked it up anyways. 

"hello?" 

"i'm going to pay you 10k a month." 

you stared dumbly into the phone and then started laughing. 

"uh huh, and get me the newest phone right?

"if that's what it takes." 

you found yourself giggling now, balancing the phone on your shoulder as you opened yourself some ice cream. 

"i'm sorry, who is this?" you asked while juggling your ice cream on your lap. you noticed that jared was watching you. 

"rafe cameron. you found my daughter the other day. i'd like to offer you a deal." he said, voice muffled. 

his tone was sharp was ever, but you could hear the knowing smirk, and that made you want to roll your eyes. but there was something about that low voice that made you shiver. 

"so...mr. cameron, what is 10k a month about?" you murmured into your phone and began to chip away at the ice cream. it was way cold, and your spoon nearly bent as you tried to scoop it into your mouth. 

"babysit my daughter lucy. if she's trouble, which i expect she will be," he laughed into the phone, "i'll double it." 

you could barely what you were hearing. he had to shitting you. 

"how about 15k and the phone?" you pressed, trying not to giggle. he was going to end the call now, you could feel it. 

"fine. i'll send the times and the address." 

it was here he hung the call. 

holy shit!

[zepskies]

Love Actually - Part 1

Paring: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader

Summary: Ben gets in late on Christmas Eve with a Grinch-like attitude, but you’re determined to force some holiday cheer into his system.  

AN: Here’s my last entry for the TGWRC: Christmas in July event! It’s set in the same world as “Break Me Down,” and set before “Checkerboard.” But this can be read as a stand-alone! Hope you enjoy…

Theme: Christmas movies Prompt: “That’s a poor excuse for a tree.” 

Word Count: 3,100 Tags/Warnings: SB being himself, wee bit of angst, potential fluff overload! 

Part 1: "Humbug"

He was late. 

It was Christmas Eve, and your boyfriend was late. 

With a large bowl of popcorn in your lap, you sunk further into your favorite corner of the couch, drumming your nails on its arm. 

Your favorite Christmas movie played on the ridiculously large flatscreen Ben had insisted on when you two moved into this apartment. But you couldn’t get into the story like you normally would.

It was the first Christmas you and Ben were spending together since he’d started working with, instead of against Supe Affairs and the CIA. In fact, he was on an extended mission—hunting down a rogue supe in Idaho, of all places.

Freakin’ Idaho. Goddamn potatoes, you thought irrationally, shoving another handful of popcorn into your mouth.  

While he’d been gone, you went all out in decorating the apartment: red and white candles, stockings, various ornaments, multicolored string lights, and poinsettias. You’d even found a nice little tree that fit in the only free corner of the living room.

Well, you’d had to rearrange some furniture to make that happen, but in the end you’d succeeded. It felt like you were living at the bottom of a snow globe.

You hadn’t heard from Ben at all in over two weeks. The day he left you outside your office in the Surveillance department replayed often in your mind.

Two weeks ago…

“Don’t give me that face, baby doll.” 

Ben quirked a smile at your concerned frown, and he propped a gentle fist under your chin. You crossed your arms.  

You knew he had to go. Butcher and the rest of the guys were waiting outside the S.A. office. And you were proud of him for what he was doing, genuinely trying to put in the work on this “hero” thing. But you didn’t have to like the timing. It was only two weeks until Christmas.

“Fine,” you agreed. “Just get this guy quick. I don’t want to hear my aunt’s shady-ass sniping. Every time I show up to a family gathering by myself, she starts plotting my arranged marriage to her fucking pediatrist, her divorce attorney—mind the irony there—or even the guy who packages meat at the grocery store—” 

“All right, Christ. I’ll be back in fucking time,” said Ben. He grabbed your arms to stop your verbal flapping. Then with a grin, his hands moved to the curve of your waist, down to get a healthy grip of your ass. 

“’Sides, I’m the only one flingin’ meat around here,” he said with a deepening smirk. 

You rolled your eyes, but a smile threatened to take over your frown as he pulled you flush against him, trapping your hands against his broad chest. You found purchase on the hard fabric of his uniform. 

“You’re so gross,” you said. But you pulled him down for a searing kiss. If you weren’t going to see his handsome face for a while, then you were going to make the most of this moment. 

And it seemed your boyfriend felt the same way; his arms wrapped around your frame like steel bands. Your fingers swept through his hair as your tongue slipped into his mouth, making his grip on you tighten with a pleased hum. 

“Oi! Sid and fuckin’ Nancy,” Butcher called from down the hall. “Got a fucking job to do. Today, if you don’t mind.”

Ben broke away from you, just enough to frown in irritation over your head. 

“Calm your fucking tits, Churchill. I’ll leave when I’m good and damn ready.”

You couldn’t help but giggle into his chest.

Now, it was quite literally hours away from Christmas Day. 

You would be seeing your family tomorrow, regardless. You and Ben were supposed to go to your mother’s house for dinner. But you were starting to think that he might not make it tonight, let alone tomorrow. 

And if you had to deal with your aunt nosing into your personal business again, your hand might just “slip” while pouring yourself a rum-filled eggnog, so you wouldn’t be held liable for your actions when you inevitably snapped on the bitch.

Sighing, you continued munching on some popcorn while you focused on one of your favorite parts of Love Actually. Hugh Grant was shaking his ass to “Jump In” by the Pointer Sisters.

The music was infectious, and you found yourself doing a little shimmy yourself on the couch in time with one of your favorite rom-com Brits. 

With the TV volume as loud as it was, not even the door of your apartment unlocking could stop your mini-jam session. 

And the door soon opened, revealing a dusty, soot-covered Benjamin, still in his supe suit and tactical gear. He took a small step back when the gaudy Christmas décor assaulted his eyes, but he blinked through it as he turned his head. 

His lips curved at the familiar sight of you—bundled up in your pajamas and a fuzzy blanket on the couch, bopping to the beat of some shitty ‘80s song he actually recognized. You were alternatively mouthing the words and eating fistfuls of popcorn. 

Shaking his head, Ben stepped into the apartment and shut the door with some force. You finally perked up at the sound, your smile alight with happiness when you realized he was home. That alone made him soften a bit. 

“Ben!” You paused your movie and bounded over to greet him with a warm hug and a deep kiss.  

He brushed your hair back and allowed himself to revel in the familiarity of you in his arms. 

“Aren’t you a fucking sight,” he murmured.

Ben was still getting used to having someone to come home to, but it was grounding. This place was his home now, mostly because you were in it.  

“You okay? How did it go?” you asked, wiping off some soot from his cheek. 

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Ben offered you a cocky smile. “We smoked that pyro bitch.”

Your eyes narrowed. “You what?”

“Relax, the supe’s alive,” he said, rolling his eyes, as if it grated him to admit it. He wouldn’t tell you that the supe had two broken arms and probably a crack in his skull. “Being shipped off to prison as we speak.”

You nodded with a smile. “Good. I’m proud of you.” 

His lips pulled at a grin. But then you took his face between your hands with a hard slap (though it didn’t even sting, the point was made in your annoyed frown). 

“You’re late,” you said. Ben raised a brow. 

“Excuse me?” he said. 

“You heard me. You’re fucking late,” you repeated. “Go take a shower. I already started the first movie without you.” 

You tugged him by the hand and all but pushed him into the hall that led to your shared bedroom. 

Ben wasn’t one to be manhandled though. He dug his heels in obstinately. 

“Christ, I just got home. All I want to do is sleep…unless you want to give me a proper fucking welcome.”

He glanced at you over his shoulder with a more than suggestive smirk. He turned around and pulled you into his firm chest. His hands smoothed down your back and squeezed your hips, with his thumbs dragging under the hem of your pajama top.

While your lips threatened a smile, you had to wonder how he had enough energy for reunion sex, but not enough to watch a simple movie. 

Still, his offer was all-too tempting, making heat prickle along your skin wherever he touched. Nonetheless, you managed to remain stubborn and pushed gently against his chest.

“Down, boy,” you said. “If I let you get your hands on me now, I’ll never get through my list.”

First it was Love Actually, then Christmas Vacation, followed swiftly by Home Alone and its sequel, Lost In New York. 

Ben frowned at you. “So? Watch ‘em tomorrow.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, it’s Christmas Eve.”

You gestured to all your hard work in the form of the decorated apartment.

“Tomorrow, we have dinner at my mom’s house. So tonight, you’re gonna go shower," you said, pointing at him. "I’m going to make some more hot chocolate, and we’re watching all manner of cheesy, romantic, and downright silly Christmas movies until your Grinch-ass gets some holiday spirit.”

Ben released a tired sigh and dropped his hands away from you.

“I haven’t slept in three fucking days," he said. "I’m not staying up all night again for some corny bullshit.”

You frowned in disappointment. 

“Ben, come on. Please?” you tried, but he just waved a dismissive hand and continued his way to the bedroom.

For a moment, you watched him go in disbelief. Was he really going to be like that? 

With a flash of hot annoyance, you huffed and decided that you weren’t going to let him ruin the night for you. 

So you went into the kitchen and whipped up some hot cocoa, breaking out the actual Godiva chocolate bars you bought just for this moment. You poured out one mug initially. But you listened to the old water pipes working, knowing that Ben must’ve been taking a shower. 

You knew he wasn’t just tired. He didn’t seem to be looking forward to tomorrow either, and  was going along with it for your sake. Which, to be fair, could just mean he still wasn’t totally comfortable around your family. (Your sister Luisa still hadn’t totally warmed up to him.)

You also had a feeling that he just wasn’t into Christmas.

The question was why… 

But you poured a mug for him anyway, adding some mini marshmallows into each one. You brought both mugs with you back to the living room and set them down on the coffee table. 

Getting comfortable on the couch again, complete with your blanket, mug, and the popcorn bowl, you pressed “play” and continued watching the movie…even though you felt just a bit lonelier. 

But then, a weight dropped on the other end of the couch. You flinched and looked over at your now clean and pajama-clad boyfriend, who eyed you begrudgingly with his arms crossed over a soft plain shirt. 

You smiled at him warmly. “Hey, baby.”

His grouchy face was the very picture of “humbug.” Biting your lip, you set down the popcorn on the coffee table and handed him the spare cup of hot chocolate. 

“I made some for you,” you said. He gave you a brief nod and took a dutiful sip. But not even rich, chocolatey goodness could curb his sour mood as he stared blandly at the screen. 

You knew that face. That was his, I’ll do this for you, but I’m not gonna fucking like it—face. 

When he stifled a yawn, you knew that he hadn’t been lying. He really was tired. Sometimes you forgot that while Ben was all but indestructible, even he had his limits. Chasing that rogue supe across the country must’ve taken it out of him, even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

So you reached over and plucked the mug out of his hand. His brows knit together as he watched you set it down on the coffee table with yours. Then you grabbed his hand. 

“Come ‘ere,” you said, tugging him toward you. 

“What now?” he groused. 

“Just come on. Don’t bitch,” you teased. You guided him to lay across the couch, with his head pillowed in your lap. You grabbed an extra throw blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over him, making sure that it covered him up to his chest. 

“What am I, a damn kid?” he said. But you knew his griping had no real weight. Already he was humming deep with pleasure as your fingers carded through his soft brown hair. You let your nails drag lightly over his scalp, massaging his head. Your free hand stroked his cheek. 

Ben closed his eyes for a moment and let out a sigh through his nose. The movie continued to play, but you were no longer paying much attention. This was more important. 

When he opened his eyes again, they were drawn to the small, four-foot Christmas tree in the corner of the room, next to the TV. 

“That’s a poor fucking excuse for a tree,” he said. 

You frowned and followed his gaze. 

“I think it’s adorable,” you replied. And it was the only one you thought would fit in this cozy, but very narrow apartment. 

Ben’s arms crossed over his blanket.

“I’ll go tomorrow, find us a real fucking tree,” he said. 

Your frown deepened a little. “But I already decorated this one. All by myself, I might add.”

He eyed you then, a bit softer.

“All right, we’ll get a second one for the dining room,” he grumbled. “Getting the tree up is a man’s job anyway.”

You rolled your eyes at that. But you tried to see if there was anything deeper to read in his words. Not for the first time, you wondered how he’d spent his holidays in the past. No doubt with a lot of fanfare and celebrity parties during his hay day as Soldier Boy. You were more interested in his life before that.   

“I remember, my mom would run the show at Christmas,” Ben said.

You blinked down at him in surprise. Without knowing, he’d opened up on your exact curiosity. 

Or maybe he just knew you better than you thought.

“She’d have all the help in a damn tear around the house. Cooking, decorating, the whole nine yards. It was a perfect scene, like something out of a catalogue,” said Ben. “But getting the tree was always my dad’s job. His only job, really.”

You smiled and continued to listen with rapt attention. Your thumb continued to stroke along his neck. 

“One year, he got this massive one. Must’ve been…I don’t know, twenty feet. I don’t even know how he got it through the door, but he was mighty fucking proud of himself,” Ben said.

His gaze trailed beyond you, lost in faded memories. They played in his mind like a reel, wordless, but bright and warm. 

“Who decorated it?” you asked. Your voice drew his attention back. 

“Me and him,” Ben admitted, surprising you yet again. “Meanwhile, Mom baked up a storm for the Christmas party they threw every year…”

It was a rare moment where Ben recalled what seemed to be a nice memory of his father. But soon enough, the nostalgia dimmed from his eyes.

He cleared his throat and swiped a hand over his mouth, as if that could erase his moment of vulnerability. 

Then he turned to face the TV screen. 

“So what’s even happening here? Seems like there’s four goddamn movies playing at once.”

You cracked a smile and continued brushing your fingers through his hair. You also rewinded the movie so he could actually follow the story.

“Yeah, that’s what makes this movie so classic. See, there’s Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman. They’re married, kids, the perfect life, right? But he’s actually cheating on her with a younger, sluttier woman.”

“…And this is a fucking Christmas movie?”

“Yeah, you’ll see. Then there’s Liam Neeson.”

Ben perked up at that. “The Taken guy?” 

You nodded. “Yep! He’s a widower, but he has a stepson who’s got a sweet little crush. So he’s gonna try and help the kid impress the girl by helping him learn the drums.”

Your boyfriend nodded. 

“Musicians get plenty of pussy, that’s for damn sure,” he said. And with a knowing grin, “Actors get more though.”

You snorted and pointed to Hugh Grant next. “He’s my favorite. He’s playing the Prime Minister, who falls in love with his assistant, Natalie. That’s her right there.”

Ben raised a brow at your choice of “favorite.” If nothing else, he noted your type for older men. 

But he smirked when Natalie kept verbally fumbling in Hugh’s presence, then stared along with the Prime Minister at the woman’s ass when she walked away at the end of the scene.  

“Hmm, I’ll admit. She’s got a juicy peach,” Ben remarked. You laughed and hit his shoulder playfully. It worked an amused smile onto his face. 

He took your hand from his shoulder and pressed the back of it to his lips. You blinked down at him, and you warmed with a smile at seeing his more relaxed face. 

He kept your hand on his chest, his thumb drawing back and forth over your wrist. 

So you proceeded to explain the various angles of the movie until he was all caught up. 

You two watched the rest of it together. Like always, you cried when Colin Firth poured his heart out to his housekeeper, Aurélia, half in his mangled Portuguese and half in English. You cried again when Emma’s character finally confronted her cheating bastard husband. 

And you held your breath when Hugh and Natalie kissed as the stage curtain fell down, revealing their relationship to the world. 

By the time the credits rolled, you were an emotional mess. You were happy though. Typically you’d watch this movie with your sister, but it was nice to share the holidays with someone… 

Someone who loved you enough to curb his Grinch attitude about cheesy romantic things, like tree decorating and watching rom-coms with hot cocoa. 

You glanced down, and sure enough, Ben was asleep. He had turned onto his stomach. His head still rested in your lap, his cheek pillowed by your thigh, and he had a hand curled around your leg. Your big, growling bear of a man had a gooey center that sometimes surprised even you. 

For one mischievous moment, you considered sticking a piece of popcorn up his nose. 

He looked so damn peaceful that you didn’t want to ruin it…yet now you couldn’t get up either. 

Shit, you thought, but your grin was soft. Oh, whatever. Sleep is overrated.

You queued up Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation next in your movie marathon and settled in. You laid a gentle hand on Ben’s back, between his broad shoulders. 

And his story about his parents returned to the forefront of your mind.

Maybe he didn’t hate Christmas. Maybe it was just difficult for him to remember the genuinely good ones. Maybe he missed his parents; both of them, despite how contentious it had been between him and his father. 

You could certainly understand that. But now, you would make sure he would remember this one for the “good” column.

You only startled a little when your cell phone chimed on the coffee table. The screen read 12:00 a.m. It was officially December 25th. 

You then felt Ben’s warm hand squeeze your leg. His eyes were still shut though, his breathing deep and even in sleep. 

With a smile, you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

And you whispered in his ear, “Merry Christmas, Ben.”

AN: Yay! I hope you liked this fluffy one for SB. 🎄❤️

Did you like Ben's little day trip down memory lane? Let me know in the comments! 😘

**Note: There will be two more parts to this due to popular request!

Keep Reading: PART 2

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List:

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[madangel19]

Holding the Face before a Kiss? :)

This turned out longer than it should have :'D

Word Count: 1124

No warnings, just fluff and a wee bit of angst. Ghoul reunions can be emotional times, especially for Aether who misses his pack dearly.

Aether paced back and forth in the main hall, growing all the more anxious. He kept checking his watch, groaning at how the time was slowly going by. They were supposed to be here any moment now. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take of this before losing his cool.

“They’ll be here soon, Aeth. They just got picked up at the airport thirty minutes ago,” Sunshine chimed from the sitting room. She had just started a fire and was laying before it. 

“I just wanna see them now,” Aether replied, wringing his hands together while going to one of the windows to look for any signs of the buses. 

It was dark and rainy out. He would have loved this on a regular night, but he didn’t have the rest of his pack with him. He didn’t have Dewdrop to cuddle up with. The past few months had been hard on him. Sure, he was able to text and video chat with him and the rest of the pack, but he needed them all around. There was a near constant ache in his chest every day they were apart. Even though he had Sunny, the kits, and several other ghouls around to keep him company, he still missed his pack mates dearly. 

Even watching videos from their current shows wasn’t enough. He wanted more than anything to have gone on this tour, but he had his duties in the church along with Sunshine. He wanted to protest, but these were direct orders from Sister Imperator and he knew better than to question her authority. 

“Come sit by the fire, Aeth. It’s nice and warm and Dewdrop will have something nice to see whenever he gets here,” Sunshine cooed.

That was a tempting offer. Aether did enjoy spending more quality time with Sunshine over the past few months. The ghoulette always found ways to cheer him up when he was missing the rest of his pack and he was able to cheer her up when she was feeling the same way.

Aether was about to turn and join her when he noticed headlights outside. He chirped, perking up as he ran to a window, his face pressing against the glass as he watched the buses approach. His eyes went wide before he laughed in relief. They were finally home!

“They’re here!” He cried out.

He could hear activity around him as several siblings came out from different doors to come out to the main hall. They chattered excitedly and Sunshine was by his side in a moment. Heat emanated her as she bounced in place eagerly. 

“Places everyone. Let’s do this quick so the equipment doesn’t get too wet,” Sister Imperator announced as she brushed past the ghouls to open the main doors. 

The biggest bus had stopped before the church and the door opened. Aether stepped out into the rain, grinning from ear to ear when he spotted a weary Copia coming out with his suitcases in hand. 

“Welcome home, Papa! We missed you!” Sunshine exclaimed, rushing forward and pulling the man into a big hug. Copia grunted and tried to hug her the best he could while still holding the suitcases. A sibling came forward and took his suitcases for him while briefly welcoming him back.

“Ah, buonasera, Sunshine. It’s so good to see you, mia cara,” Copia crowed, petting the top of her head.

Sunshine pulled away from the hug. She was practically glowing with joy now. 

“It’s good to see you, Papa. I hope traveling hasn’t been too hard,” Aether said, pulling the old man into a hug. He made sure to relax him with his quintessence.

“It was, but we’re home now,” Copia said, patting him on the back. 

Copia pulled away from the hug and went to talk with Sister Imperator who was waiting in the doorway with a warm smile. Aether watched him go for a moment before happy cries suddenly filled the air. He whipped his head around just in time to see Sunshine embrace Cumulus. Cirrus and Aurora quickly joined the hug, all four of them chittering and purring happily amongst themselves as they showered Sunshine with kisses.

“We missed you guys so much!” Cumulus cried out. She pulled away from the hug to rush over to Aether and hug him. Aethe eagerly hugged her back. He missed how fluffy her fur was.

“I missed you guys too,” Aether murmured, giving her another squeeze before letting her go. She returned to the pile of ghoulettes who continued chattering nonstop amongst themselves. 

Aether turned his attention back to the bus just in time to see Dewdrop step out. He looked absolutely exhausted, but upon seeing Aether, a smile lit his features and he dropped the backpack he was carrying to rush into his arms. 

“Oh, Firefly,” Aether said, realizing just how small the fire ghoul was when he held him. Months being separated were surely taking a toll on him.

Dewdrop was warm. So much more warmer than Sunshine. 

“I missed you, big guy. I had to share my bed with the new guy on some nights. He ain’t you,” Dewdrop grumbled, nuzzling his chest before looking up at him with eyes full of adoration. 

“I missed you too, babe. Each day was empty without you here,” Aether said while lovingly cupping his cheeks. Dewdrop closed his eyes in pure bliss, leaning into his touch. His cheeks were scratchy from stubble, but he absolutely did not give a shit. He loved everything about his beloved fire ghoul. Purring, Dewdrop wrapping his arms and his tail around his middle. Aether did the same with his tail, not wanting to let the smaller ghoul go anytime soon.

“Now kiss, you two,” Swiss’s voice crowed from the bus.

Aether grunted, looking over at where the multi ghoul was standing in the bus doorway. He was smiling his signature smile while Rain and Mountain loomed behind him, watching on with knowing smiles.

“He wouldn’t shut up about kissing you,” Mountain chimed. 

“Is that so?” Aether questioned, his gaze back on Dewdrop who smiled up at him sweetly. 

“That’s right. It’s been months and I really need to kiss you right now,” the fire ghoul said before pulling him into a tender kiss. Aether eagerly kissed him back before picking up the smaller ghoul bridal style. Dewdrop giggled into the kiss and deepened it, his tail entwining with his while he wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Fuck, I missed you, big guy,” Dewdrop moaned into the kiss. 

Aether smiled, eager to spend the rest of the night with him and the rest of the pack. He wasn’t going to let any of them go anytime soon, especially Dewdrop.

[roses-for-rosalyn]

Movie Lovers

Hello lovie dovies I have been gone for mad long because of college stuff, but also because I'm working on a longer fic 🤭. I wanted to keep y'all fed though so here's an Ellie blurb. Count how many times I wrote movies challenge! (Also there's 20 people following me that's crazy ya'll are amazing)

Minors DNI pls 🔞

word count: 1.9 k

proofread to the best of my ability

content warnings: a wee bit of friends to lovers, dirty talk, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r! receiving), pet names, lots of foreplay, teasing, cuddling, reader who overthinks, and as always no use of y/n

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Watching movies is the best pass time. It was your favorite thing to do because it was one of the few things that got your brain to slow down. You could get completely absorbed in another world for just a little while. It's even better with friends because you can talk about it afterward or even during. You didn't have to stress about anything outside of what was playing in front of you.

Your favorite person to watch movies with was your best friend Ellie. Ellie loved film just as much as you. You could talk about movies for hours with her if you wanted to. It was something you bonded over and the reason you became friends. You really liked Ellie you had known her for a while now. You might like her a little too much.

You liked the way every time she touched you it felt electric. She could give you butterflies just by talking. One time when you both were watching something together Ellie started to slowly move closer to you. You were sitting up with your legs in front of you propped up on an ottoman, and Ellie moved so her head was on your shoulder and your legs were intertwined. She just stayed there. For the rest of the movie. You couldn't remember what you were watching that night if your life depended on it. All you could focus on it how Ellies arm was strung behind your back and how warm she felt against you. You could feel yourself grow embarrassingly wet at the slight contact with her and you had to kick her out early. You made up some excuse about how you had to get up early.

This was the first movie night you'd had since that interaction. You were nervous about not being able to control yourself in front of Ellie. It wasn't fair to her, she was your friend, it wasn't her problem that you were attracted to her. You felt guilty and if she ever found out she might think that was the only reason you were nice to her.

You hear a knock at the door that snaps you out of your thoughts. You walk to the door to greet Ellie, praying you can keep it together. You open the door and there she is, standing there in her usual T-shirt and flannel pajama pants. You both agreed a while ago to just wear pajamas for movie night. Why did she have to look so good in pajamas?

You manage to blurt out a "hi!"

"Hey." she replies, smiling a little at your clear excitement.

"I've got the movie all ready to go." you say as you turn to let Ellie in.

"Very exciting. What did you decide for tonight?" she asks while walking past you, taking off her shoes and making a beeline to the couch. You close the door and follow her.

"Kick-ass." you say. You had both already seen it, but it was one of your favorites. No thinking required, plus it was kind of funny. You sit down on the opposite end of the couch from Ellie.

"Ah good choice. I could use a brainless type movie right about now." She immediately moves so your thighs are touching, ignoring your effort to put space between you two.

"Actually, do you mind if we lay down to watch this? I'm so exhausted I can barely see straight." Ellie suggests. That would mean either you sit on the floor or she would literally have to spoon you. Oh god.

"Ok but then where would I sit?" you ask. You have no idea what answer you're hoping for.

"Just lay down in front of me. We can cuddle up, there's plenty of room." There was indeed not plenty of room. Plenty of room would mean that every part of you wouldn't be touching Ellie. Plenty of room would not mean that Ellie's arm would be draped around you.

"Alright." you reply with a small laugh, ignoring every thought in your head right now. You stand up to allow Ellie to lay on her side, putting her head on a throw pillow resting on the arm of the couch. You grab the remote and press play before laying down in front of her. Ellie drapes her arm around you and places her hand comfortably on your stomach. Eventually she starts gently scratching you stomach moving her hand in circles. She would move her hand slowly up just below your breasts and back down right below your belly button. Just above and below where you really wanted them. She was teasing you and it almost felt intentional. The way her hand would sometimes go too high and graze your under-boob or too low and barely touch the hem of your shorts. Your breathing unintentionally starts to get heavier and Ellie notices.

"Something wrong?" She whispers.

"No, no I'm-" She touches the hem of your shorts again and you sharply inhale. "I'm fine."

"Ok, whatever you say." She replies, and you can almost hear the smugness in her voice. You're starting to think she's doing this on purpose.

A few more minutes go by and it's agony. You can't focus on anything except for the feeling of Ellies nails softly scratching your stomach. She wasn't even touching you directly and she was driving you insane. You're not sure how much more you can take.

Just when your about to get up to go to the bathroom to try and escape her touch, Ellie breaks the silence.

"I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?" You have no idea where this is going, but at least her hand has stilled for the moment.

"I like you."

"Yeah well I like you too, that's why I invite you over." You let out a nervous laugh. Hoping to deflect to conversation from going where you think it's going. Ellie props herself up on her elbow so she's laying about you, lightly grabs your jaw and turns your head to face her.

"No, I like you, like, a lot." She says, and you can tell by the way she's looking at you exactly what she means. This has to be a dream.

"I like you too, like a lot." Ellie looks like she wants to devour you. Instead she lays back down, keeping her head slightly above yours.

"I want to try something, if you want me to stop just tell me." You nod eagerly, hoping it has something to do with getting rid of the ache that's been growing between your legs for an hour now.

"Words pretty girl." Oh god that nickname.

"Yes, yes." you say breathlessly.

"Ok, and you have to promise to keep paying attention to the movie. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes." You say, a little confused, but Ellie could ask you to eat dirt right now and you would do it happily.

Her hand travels underneath your t-shirt, snaking it's way up to your boobs. She starts massaging the skin and lightly pinches at your nipple causing you to let out a small gasp. She moves to the other breast and does the same. She takes her hand out from under your shirt to prop herself up on her elbow. She grabs the hem of your shirt and starts pulling it up slowly causing you to be exposed to the chilly air in your apartment. She moves her hand down to the hem of your shorts and places her fingers underneath the elastic, moving them back and fourth a few times before slowly moving the waistband down. She moves her hand down under your shorts and cups your aching cunt and you gasp.

"You've been waiting for this huh?" You're a little embarrassed she can feel you leaking through your underwear, but you're too wound up to care. "I barely did anything and you're this wound up? Poor thing." She says with mock sympathy. "I promise I'll make it up to you." She whispers before moving her hand up under your underwear and onto your bare pussy. She takes her middle finger and drags it up your slit, and you immediately let out a quiet moan when she reaches your clit. Your eyes start to close from how amazing you feel when Ellie grabs your jaw and turns it towards her.

"Uh, uh," she tuts "watch the movie for me princess." You groan a little, but obey her request, since she's rewarding you so well.

Ellie starts drawing lazy circles around your clit. She does this until your bucking your hips towards her silently begging her to do something, anything more.

"What's wrong pretty girl? What do you need?" She asks smugly.

"More," yeah breathe out "Please."

Ellie lets out a small laugh "Since you asked so nicely."

She starts moving her finger in fast tight circles and you can't help but let out a moan at the new sensation.

"God I've barely touched you and you're already a mess. You're doing so well for me princess." The praise almost sends you over the edge, but then she slows down her movements. Her finger starts to move down to your entrance, slowly circling it before moving in deeper. She curls her finger upwards and you let out moan. She starts moving her finger in and out before adding a second causing you to cry out "Oh god Ellie."

"I know baby, just relax, I got you." She starts moving her fingers faster hitting that heavenly spot over and over, just when you're sure this is the most pleasure you've ever felt in your life Ellie surprises you. She sits up further and lays you down flat. She removes her fingers and you let out a whine. She kneels between your legs and moves your shorts and underwear to the side. Ellie lays on her stomach and grabs your legs so your knees are bent. Ellie's mouth is inches from your cunt, your thighs are framing her face and you can feel her breath on your clit. The image itself almost does you in. Ellie licks a stripe up your cunt and you let out a loud moan. She starts circling her tongue around you clit just as she inserts one finger into your entrance. It slide in with no resistance and then she adds another. She curls her fingers upwards once again and continues sucking and lapping at your clit. You can't help but moan every time she inserts her fingers. Your loud reaction only seemed to encourage her. She started fucking you faster and harder with her fingers. You could feel the pleasure building up inside of you, fast.

"Ellie I'm gonna-" Just when you were about to finish your sentence a blinding pleasure takes over your body causing you to buck you hips upward. You hands start clawing at the couch cushions begging for something to grab as Ellie fucks you through it. The waves of pleasure were unlike anything you'd felt before. It felt so good it almost hurt.

You slowly come down from your high and Ellie slows down her fingers and pulls them out of you. You can't move, you can't even think. You've never been this blissed out in your life. It was amazing.

Ellie makes her way up to meet your eyes and kisses you. She kisses you along your jaw, she kisses your nose, your eyebrows. "I think," She says in between kisses "We found something to do together besides watch movies."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

This ended up being way longer than I intended, but what can I say I can't do smut without a backstory. I hope ya'll enjoyed it and let me know if there's anything specific you want to see me write! After that go to sleep I know for a fact it is very late.

[taleasnewastime]

Can i ask for a Drabble? Like oc getting a little jealous when they are like in a parents meeting and a mom starts chatting with jk and she starts getting too comfortable with him? Like she’s trying to hit on him or something cause she thinks he’s a single dad

Thanks for the request. I changed it to a school play, hope you don't mind. Enjoy :)

Word count: 530

Warnings: Reader is jealous, nothing much.

You wipe your damp hands on your skirt. It was bad enough the toilets had doors any adult could stand and see over, making your whole wee stressful, but on top of that they’d run out of paper towels. Your black skirt doesn’t show up any damp spots at least.

Your eyes drift around the room as you start to head back to the hall. It’s the night of the school play, a room full of parents buzzing as they wait for their kids to put on a show. They’ll probably forget their lines, mess up somehow and yet you’ll all still be immensely proud.

You stop when you spot your date, Jungkook, where you left him.

You’re an easily jealous person. Jump to conclusions too quickly, or maybe it’s your too vivid imagination filling in any gaps you can’t fill in.

That’s what happens now. It’s not that you don’t trust Jungkook, more that you don’t trust women around him. You get it, he’s attractive, but that doesn’t mean everyone has the right to just touch him that the woman in front of him is currently doing. Laughing like she’s never said anything, she’s conveniently having to support herself using Jungkook’s arm.

Your blood boils.

You’re slow to walk over there, watch as the woman’s hand lingers a little longer than necessary. She does remove it though and while Jungkook looks uncomfortable he is too polite to say anything.

“Hey,” you say purely to Jungkook as you saddle up to his side, your body angled to his, pressed up along his side as your hand rests on his arm.

He looks across at you, shocked for a second before realising it’s you and relaxing. You wind your hand under his arm, fully linking your bodies.

“Everything ok?”

It takes him another second and then realisation sweeps over his features, amusement lighting his eyes. “Yep.”

You smile up at him before looking to your left, the woman’s still stood there and you feign surprise. “Oh, sorry I didn’t see you there.”

Jungkook’s arm tightens against his body, squeezing your hand in warning. You ignore him.

“Right,” her tone is flat as her eyes flick between you and Jungkook. “That’s ok, I was just going to get another drink anyway. Nice talking to you Jungkook.”

“And you Jodie.”

She gives one last smile and flick of her eyes between the two of you before drifting away. Your eyes follow her as if making sure she’s truly gone.

“I know what you’re doing,” a voice whispers in your ear, his lips are pressed so close you can almost feel the smile on them.

You hum, “and what’s that?”

“You know what.”

You turn slowly towards him giving Jungkook enough time to pull away. He doesn’t go far, his face leaning close to yours, only a few inches away when you look at him.

“I was just so entranced by you I hadn’t realised we had company,” you turn away from him, have to clench your teeth to stop the smile.

Jungkook leans his head forward, forehead resting on your temple as he chuckles. He presses a light kiss to your skin before pulling away.

[slashgod]

Content Warning: Light description of violence.

Working Title: Name: Hands

Originally written on twitter. Steddyhands end game. Izzy central.

The first time Izzy hears Bonnet being badmouthed in a bar, he doesn’t think anything of it. He may even have cracked a grin and sent the men an anonymous drink, from his own coin.

The second time it happens, Edward is there too. Edward who is just starting to grow his beard back. Edward who welcomed Bonnet back into his life with a good natured stab and a lot of promises. 

A sensitive Edward, who clenches his fist around his pint, and glares at Izzy.

“You focking hearing this?” He hisses, and Izzy just shrugs one shoulder.

“So they’re talking about Bonnet. None of our business, Edward.”

Before Izzy can raise his own pint to his lips, Edwards hand is circled around his wrist, hard enough to bruise.

“The fock it isn’t. A bad word against Stede is a bad word against me, Iz. So what you gonna do?”

Izzy knows the answer that Edwards wants. Feels it bubbling up in his throat the same way sick might. He swallows it back the same, too. “I’m gonna sit here and have my drink, Edward.” 

The fingers around his wrist tighten impossibly, and Izzy grits his teeth through the pain.

Then it’s gone, and so is Edward. 

Not to gut the men laughing at the ‘pansy Gentleman Pirate’, like Izzy had thought he might. Just out of the bar and into the night. Izzy can only stay long enough to finish his drink, and then he follows. 

The punishment he’d expected never comes.

The third time, Izzy is alone. It’s shore leave, and Edward had pestered him to get some fresh air. Bonnet had pressed too many coins into his gloved hand and asked for a souvenir. Izzy had ended up back at the bar.

There’s a group of men again. Wannabe pirates.

Miscreants who think getting stabbed in a bar crawl is the same as fighting for your life on the ocean.

Having honed his skills of listening as a young man, he wasn’t sure why he was suddenly listening in on them. They didn’t have important info. They were too drunk for anything useful. ‘- pussy Gentleman Pirate, what a focking joke-‘Izzy feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, the exact moment he makes a horrible decision that will change the course of his life. He downs his drink, it was warm anyway, and slams it back to the counter.

Only those that know how to spot a pirate have stopped talking. Those that knew of Israel Hands were making quick exits. The idiots behind him were still bitching about Bonnet. 

Izzy stood from his seat, and walked over to them. He made no show of how his hand rested on the hilt of his sword, though no hiding it either. 

“You’ve had enough for one night. Best leave.” He says, all amicably. Something Bonnet had asked him to try before starting a fight. One of them stands, closer to Wee Johns size then to Izzy’s, not that he cares.

He’s taken down bigger, more important men before. 

 ‘Who the fock do you think you are-‘ 

Izzy’s blade is through the idiots jaw and out the top of his skull before he can finish. There is a splatter of blood now on his face, and a few of the patrons scream.

His time here is limited, he knows this. While the bar owners might play nice with paying pirates, they didn’t take kindly to their regulars getting murdered. Izzy’s side blade stabs through the other man’s hand and into the table, just as he makes to leave.

The idiot still alive is begging for mercy, even as Izzy removes his sword from the man’s friend, kicking at the body to make it fall away from him. He briefly examines his blade, and then wipes it along the alive idiots shoulder, to get the blood off.

The strong stench of urine let’s Izzy know that this man isn’t about to forget his encounter with Israel Hands. 

“Now, I asked all polite like. And you didn’t listen. So here is what’s gonna happen. Every time you think of the Gentleman Pirate, or you hear about him, you are going to think of me. And you’re going to remember how I spared your pathetic life. You’re going to spread tales of this. And how fearsome the Gentleman Pirate is.”

“You… you’re…?”

“I’m his First Mate, Israel Hands, and he’s the only man that’s ever bested me in a sword fight. So you’ll remember, or the next time I see you, I’ll be taking your other hand too.”

‘Too?’

The slice is clean, less likely to be infected as long as the idiot got it seen to quickly. Izzy picks up the hand, wipes his blade once more, and leaves before the authorities arrive. He can’t explain why he did it. Bonnet was only one of his captains. It wasn’t even Edwards influence, he thinks, seeing as Edward would have no idea it happened at all. 

By the time Izzy returns to the Revenge, the hand has annoyed him so much that he practically throws it at Bonnet, along with the coin he’d been given too. “Here’s your focking souvenir.” He yells, irrationally, then stomps away.

“Huh.” Edward says, grin splitting his face. 

Stede picks up the hand, admiring the rings. “How lovely. Like a cat leaving it’s owner a dead mouse.”

“Told ya he was warming up to ya.” Edward laughed, poking Stede in his side. “Took me three years to get my first hand thrown at me. You’re doing this courting thing in record time.”

[daydream-believin]

so, you’ve wooed an immortal

summary: you need to get rid of the gluten in your home despite actively making more. douxie makes assumptions. established friendship ajsksgd

word count: short and sweet

a/n: i’ve been playing stardew again. gift based courting system. and also changed my diet in an attempt to help with my chronic illness. anyhow. hope there’s at least one of you who relates (and thus like this silly little fic lol)

taglist: @moppetwithamanbun @alovesongshewrote @blixeon @prismarts @transformers-insanity @fantasyiswaybetterthanreality @ukuleles-and-roses @faraum

douxie looked into the cheery visage of the strawberries decorating the top of the cake you had just plopped onto his coffee table. shiny little candied rubies making up a circle like a strawberry henge. the red was contrasting nicely from the white of the frosting.

he. already had a cake in his kitchenette. and some sweet rolls. and a tart. two loaves. a basket of muffins. he did Not need another cake.

“do you not like strawberries, doux?” you asked.

he realized he had been staring into this cake a little too intensely.

“oh no. they’re great. but.”

“but?”

“don’t you think this is overkill, darling?”

you grinned sheepishly, “ah-“

“it’s so sweet that you’re doing this. but i think you can stop now. i have enough. the pantry is full. slow down on the courting gifts? if only a wee bit, love.”

you stared at him. bewildered. douxie felt the need to reassure you further,

“i’ll still marry you, i promise. you can rest.”

you flushed. from the sweetness of his words, from the embarrassment, from the fact that you have caused this misunderstanding, whichever. the summer heat must be getting to you. that’s it. your skin felt hot under the palm you raised to cover your mouth.

“oh my god? I- oh my god…” you didn’t know where to start.

confusion began to seep into douxie’s features.

“uh. so!” you clapped your hands together, pointed to the ground.

“i’ve recently gone gluten-free?”

douxie didn’t track.

“uh so i’ve been baking as a way to keep my mind off things? like stress relief? but i needed to get rid of the food.”

“… oooohh”

“yeah,” you scraped a hand down the back of your neck, “so i’ve just. been giving it to you?”

you heard him take a sharp breath in. damn.

“i’m soooo sorry. i- i wouldn’t have done it if i had known you would’ve thought…” you tried your best to reassure.

“NO NO it’s okay! it’s okay! that’s my fault for assuming! uh. thank you for the gifts, y/n,”

douxie wanted to go find a hole to die in. he’ll have to settle for burying himself in the blankets on his bed. and screaming. gotta get you out of here first.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PASSING BY Y/N COME AGAIN ANYTIME MATE I LOVE TO SEE YOU AROUND,”

he shepherded you towards his door. the smile that pulled tight the corners of his mouth was so fake. and panicked. oh god what have you done.

“N-NOT THAT I WOULDNT LIKE TO MARRY YOU. I-“ you turned around as fast as you could, slamming your foot into the space between the door and the wall. while he was swinging the door shut. yeouch! might need to go to hospital later.

“FUZZBUCKETS ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

“YEAH I JUST,” you looked into the bookshop behind you, half expecting there to be an audience since it was during business hours, “we need to go back in to have this conversation.”

you pushed him back. he let you. your hands didn’t leave his shoulders once the door was closed behind you, however.

douxie’s hazel eyes were very, very wide with apprehension. he let you hands trail up to his face. you cupped his pink cheeks, gentle at first, then almost squishing him.

“you!”

“me?”

you chuckled, “god, hisirdoux. you’ve already decided you’re ready to get married?”

“um” he couldn’t tell if you were rejecting him right now or…

“i haven’t even asked you out yet. haven’t even held your hand,” you continued into a giggle, giving his face another squish for good measure, “don’t get me wrong, that’s So Sweet.”

he pulled your hands off his cheeks so he could talk,

“well, forgive me. that how it used to be done for… an unspecified amount of time in the past because i wasn’t really paying attention to romance back then.”

“hmmm. guess i gotta follow through then. rules are rules after all,”

“wait? really?” he leaned closer into your personal space.

“of course. my dearest fiancé,” you glanced at his lips, “but. i don’t want our first kiss to be our wedding day? is that okay?”

he pulled your hand into his own, bringing it up in between y’all.

“yes. i think that needn’t be necessary,”

he pressed your hand to his lips reverently. featherlight, and his warmth stayed long after he raised his head back up to look into your eyes.

“how was that?

you burst into a fit of giggles. that was the cutest thing you’d ever seen him do. so far. you’ve got a lot of lifetime left.

“not what i meant. but that was perfect.”

douxie pretended to play innocent “oh, i wonder whatever could you have meant then-“

you pulled him in by the collar of his shirt.

he was a little eager, energetic. not the perfect slow melty first kiss but hey. he’s in love. and too excited.

he tasted very sweet. probably all the sugar you’ve been stocking his kitchen with. you’ll have to find a new stress relief hobby. maybe knitting? or. actually kissing could work. yep.

you could get used to this.

[thegettingbyp2]

Hi !! May I request a Knoxville x (fem or non-binary) Reader, where they’re on a Jackass road trip, with some of the rest of the Jackass crew (Steve-O, Jeff, Pontius, Dave, Wee-Man, etc). They’re all just piled into a van, maybe on a promotional trip or some skate trip. Maybe Knox and the reader have crushes on each other or maybe they’re already together. Maybe some pranks occur or just the regular Jackass chaos :)) Up to you !! Thank you, i LoVe your writing :DD

Road Trip

Buy me a coffee :)

‘Would you move!’

‘Fuck off!’

‘Did anyone bring snacks?’

Myself and the rest of the Jackass crew were all piled into a mini-van as we drove through California, on our way to do press interviews for the new film, Jackass 3D. Dave was currently in the drivers seat, everyone swapping out every couple of hours so no one would get too tired driving. Me and Johnny had managed to snag the back row of seats, claiming that the third seat at the back was for bags that didn’t fit in the boot. We’d gotten to the van about half an hour before anyone else just so we could get these seats.

I’ve always gotten along with Johnny but the past few months we’ve been filming, we’ve gotten closer, to the point where we pretty much spend our whole time in each others company. We get teased constantly from the other guys about it but we never pay any attention to them, just comfortable in each others company.

‘See wasn’t getting up earlier just to get the back seats worth it sweetheart,’ Johnny said, grinning next to me. When he had suggested a couple of days ago that we should get up at 5am just so we could get to the van before the rest of the guys, I’d thought he was crazy. Now, there is nothing I could do to thank him enough because there was no way I would cope if I was in the middle of the rest of them. They spend the whole time yelling, throwing things at each other and I know I would have gone mad. Being at the back put a nice barrier between us and them.

‘So worth it,’ I said, stretching out across the spare seat next to me, the bags being pushed to the footwell, ‘how long are we on the road for?’

‘Think it’s a long one today sweetheart, a good 8 hours,’ Johnny said. Since developing this little crush on him, I feel butterflies in my stomach whenever he calls me sweetheart.

---

Unknown to you, Johnny felt the exact same way. The filming of Jackass 3D allowed him to spend more time with you and he started to notice more of your little quirks; the way you would brush your hair to the side every couple of minutes, the way your tongue would poke out slightly whenever you smiled at him and how you would always check if he was okay after a stunt, no matter if you had gotten hurt in the stunt yourself.

Since this crush of his developed he started using any excuse to spend time with you, including convincing you to wake up earlier so you could get to the back of the van, where he knew you would both have more privacy because today was the day when he was planning to tell you about his feelings for you.

---

‘8 hours!’ I groaned, throwing my head onto Johnny’s shoulder, ‘you made me wake up at 5am when we’re going to be travelling for 8 hours.’

‘You agreed it was a good idea!’ Johnny exclaimed, laughing, ‘have a nap if you’re that tired sweetheart.’

‘Yeah right! You think I trust any of you lot enough to fall asleep in this thing.’

‘You’ll be fine, I won’t let them do anything,’ Johnny said, all of a sudden serious. I looked up at his face and saw him looking at me intently. I just wish he didn’t wear his damn sunglasses all the so I could actually see what he was thinking. It was quiet between us for a while, neither of us realising we’d moved a bit closer to each other before I cleared my throat slightly, pulling us both back into the present.

‘Fine. I’m using you as a pillow though.’ I said, removing my seatbelt so I could lay down across two seats, my head resting in Johnny’s lap.

‘Fine by me sweetheart,’ Johnny said quietly, one of his arms resting across my waist lightly, acting as a makeshift seatbelt. I let my eyes drift closed and before I knew it I’d fallen asleep in his lap.

---

Johnny had never been so still in his life, too scared to move in case he woke you up. He looked down and smiled softly when he saw how peaceful you looked in your sleep, risking moving to run his finger lightly down your cheek, freezing when you moved in your sleep.

‘Knoxville! Your turn to drive in a bit!’ Dave yelled from the front of the bus.

‘Keep your fucking voice down,’ Johnny whisper-yelled back, ‘anyway no can do, someone else can go next and I’ll go after them, (Y/N)’s asleep.’

‘Why is that stopping you from driving?’ Dave asked, not looking away from the road. Steve-O turned around from his seat in front of Johnny and saw the position you were both in.

‘Yeah, no he’s not driving yet Dave. He’s got his fucking girlfriend in his lap.’

Johnny looked down at you, still sleeping, relieved that nothing had woken you. He traced the line of your hair down your face once more before speaking quiety.

‘She’s not my girlfriend yet.’

[ketho484]

Part 4 of the actor AU WOOOOOOO!!! I hope you like it

Au belongs to @frillsand

🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵

Chapter 4: The gift of friends

The days blurred together rather quickly as a new routine was established. Willow would be dropped off at the studio by Jessica, the kid would interact with the cast, she’d watch them record, and then Wally would take her somewhere. Sometimes they’d go with someone else, like going with Howdy to help him get some groceries, or going with Frank to the library, or going with Sally to the theater. Willow’s mood definitely improved as she interacted with everyone. She wasn’t as shy anymore, she was happier, and thanks to Wally making sure she ate something every day, she looked healthier too. She loved this new life. Some of the stage hands loved this kid too for how endearing she was. She actually gave her own personal opinions on scenes when they were shooting, even showing the cast how something might be funnier or more coordinated. Her favorite pastime with the cast was helping them with their lines. She especially helped Wally give Poppy some extra attention by stepping in for him when he was busy shooting a scene. Life was nice…until a month after the first visit.

Willow was a wee bit depressed today, which immediately seemed to change the atmosphere of the work environment. She was jittery and flinched if anyone, including Wally, tried to touch her. She kept up a chipper attitude when her new friends needed it, but other than that, she was tired and she was sad. By lunchtime, she’d locked herself in one of the storage closets used for props while the rest of the cast ate at the canteen.

“…Okay, enough is enough” Sally spoke up, an agitated tone in her voice “We need to figure out what’s going on with Willow”

“I agree” Julie piped up “Willow’s all down in the dumps and we have to fix it!”

“Might be harder than you guys think” Wally stated, making everyone look at him “When she gets down like this, sometimes it’s hard to make her smile”

“There’s gotta be something to turn that frown upside down” Barnaby said as he started thinking

They all began brainstorming. Some fresh treats? No, she might not eat them. A fun game? She might not play. Read her a story? She may fall asleep or end up hating the book. A joke? She might not laugh. A funny skit? Same problem as the joke. A sweet note? She might get upset and rip it up. A new toy? She might reject it.

Wally sighed and got up, the others not noticing since they were chatting. He went to the closet Willow was hiding in and sat down with his back leaning on the door. He could hear her crying in there. It broke his heart to hear that little puppet crying. Even still, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, leaning on the door as a gentle song came from his lips, a song his late mother would sing to him if he was ever sad or scared or if he had a hard time sleeping.

“Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me

Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee

Sounds of the rude world heard in the day

Lulled by the moonlight have all passed away

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song

List while I woo thee with soft melody

Gone are the cares of life's busy throng

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me”

By the time he was done, his eyes opening slowly as a few tears trickled down his felt, yellow cheeks, Willow’s crying had ceased. He heard a loud click from the door before getting up and going into the prop closet. The light was on, which was good. Willow was sitting with her back against the far wall, face buried into her knees as they curled up close to her, arms keeping them from slipping. Her hair was messy, her body was shaking. She was a mess. Wally sighed and went to sit down next to her. He didn’t say anything, but he did look at her sadly. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Willow finally spoke.

“…Daddy said you were using me” She spoke in a broken voice “H-He said you wanted me to help you and your friends do better in your show…H-H-He said when…when you were done with m-me…You’d throw me o-o-o-out!” Her shoulders heaved and she started crying again

“What? No!” Wally pulled her into a gentle hug. He didn’t grip her shoulder so as not to scare her too much, and although she froze, she didn’t fight to run away “No, we’d never do that to you. Never in a million years. You’re precious and sweet and important to us not because of our careers, but because we want to see you happy too. I see it in the eyes of my friends every time they see you. You make them smile, so they want to help you smile”

Willow turned slightly and buried her face into Wally’s sweater, sobbing into his chest as he hugged her a bit tighter. He gently rubbed circles into her back to help soothe her, which did seem to make her feel a bit better as she calmed down rather quickly…because she fell asleep in Wally’s arms. All that crying for, quite possibly, hours on end, left her rather exhausted. Wally sighed, smiling as he picked her up and left the closet with her, heading to his dressing room. There was a couch in the room that he laid Willow down on. She curled up into the orange dyed leather as Wally used a long cardigan as a blanket for her. When he was satisfied and knew she was safe, he left the room and locked the door to make sure nobody would disturb her. He went and met up with his friends on stage six.

“Wally!” Barnaby called him over “We have a plan to help Willow!”

“No need” Wally smiled as the others gathered around him “I know what happened”

Wally relayed what Willow had said to him. To say the rest of the cast was alarmed or upset would be an understatement. Frank, Julie, and Sally were boiling with rage, Barnaby was downright horrified, and both Howdy and Poppy needed to be stopped from going and trying to wake Willow up. They had each planned to get her a present that would hopefully cheer her up, but they all decided to put it all into one manageable lump present. After shooting was done for the day, they all created the present and left it in the dressing room, watching from the slightly ajar door as Willow woke up, saw a piece of paper, and opened it. Her eyes watered at what she read, many types of handwriting present and each one telling who wrote what:

‘Dear, Willow,

We all hope you had a nice nap. You looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake you, so I let you sleep in my dressing room. I told the others what you told me and to cheer you up, we all decided to write a letter. The following are the messages from the cast:

Sweetheart, you’re the sweetest little treat that helps brighten my day. The flour that holds together our friendship cake. You make my day that much sweeter.

Pup, you’re a really funny gal. Your jokes never fail to make me laugh, and when you laugh at mine, I can’t help but laugh with you. You really tickle my funny bone.

Starlight, you’re truly the best person I know. If it were up to me, as a thanks for all the help you give us, I’d give you a leading role in the show, like Wally’s top co-star.

Little one, you are incredibly intelligent. When I spout out my facts, you listen, and if I’m ever wrong, you correct me. I can respect your intelligence at such a young age. It’s one of the things that makes you so endearing.

You’ve got such big dreams, kiddo. I know they are there, and I know you haven’t shared them yet, but like a letter with a stamp, I know your dreams will find you.

Little butterfly, you’re like a teddy bear. You’re so resilient, but when you tear, you need fixing. Luckily, if you want, a guy with four arms can stitch you up easily.

Rosebud, you bloom so brightly every day. On the days you wilt, I’m willing to give you extra care to make you happy again.

Willow, I know you’re scared of being left behind, but I promise that we’re not going anywhere. Anything you need, just tell us and we’ll all do our best to provide. We all love you’

The entire cast signed the letter. Willow was crying again, though the crew could clearly see the smile on her face as she pulled the letter close to her chest. They had never seen her this happy before. Wally went in, immediately catching Willow’s attention. The little puppet ran to Wally, hugging him tightly. He sat her on the floor as he hugged her back. One by one, the cast joined in the hug, making Willow smile more and more as she started crying again. She had never been this happy before…

…and she didn’t want the feeling to end

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Favorite Head cannons of the OFMD community as of S1

-Izzy and Ed knew each other during the Hornigold era, and Izzy chose Ed as his captain after the mutiny.

-Roach had very little to no experience as a ships surgeon before joining the Revenge, he's just passionate and a fast learner, and we love him for it.

-Calico Jack wanted to fuck Izzy. If it was mutual is up for debate.

-Ed sleeps on Stede's couch for most of S1.

-Ed fucking loves the Swede. Ed sees this anxious guy and is just so fucking nice? Like, yeah, bare minimum. But he doesn't put him down once. Immediately getting the vibe of 'oh, this is the ships nice guy, i gotta fit in'.

-Lucius was running away from something when he happened upon Stede and the ship. Be it a crazy life, a marriage, a criminal past. Who knows? But he found safety in an idiotic man willing to hire a scribe for a ship.

-Izzy also has a bounty on his head for abandoning the English, but it's usually Ed's bounty that will cause problems. Since, like everything else in life, Izzy is easily ignored, and would be found with Edward either way.

-Frenchie and Wee John knew each other before joining the Revenge. How much is up for debate.

-Anne and Mary totally abandoned Jack's ass on an island, taking over his ship, and getting away scott-free. As Jack was their jackass laze about husband that forced the two to run the ship. But I do believe they all once loved each other, just didn't communicate (as with the rest of the established couples in the show)

-Izzy is VERY into whatever Ed is willing to give him. Ed just wants a nap and a cuddle.

-Oluwande is supernaturally earnest and willing to put up with almost everyone's shit. Especially Jim. Which they love him so much for. Oluwande will probably see some type of leadership role in the next seasons.

-Stede/Ed are fucking like rabbits. They are the most PTA couple and while Lucius/Pete are at least conscious of when they're in public Ed/Stede are not. And honestly, good for them.

-Izzy has tummy issues. Either from anxiety, age, diet, stress, or health issues.

-Buttons has a history as a pirate, yet no one can verify them. His crews are always gone, dead or missing...no one sees this as the red flag it should be (my vote is always that he's a cryptid, and changes the reality of the ships he's on).

-Buttons COULD be the best first mate around, hell, he probably was once...But things changed for him as he aged and seen all his crew die off, that and he lives for the drama.

-(personal) Izzy was a rope monkey growing up, his size means (if izzy was a pirate before the age of 20) he would have been thrown up there. I also think Ed was a higher-ranking rope monkey or was one in the past. Ed would fucking love the risk, of climbing up high and getting wind in his hair(My only proof is how easily he balances on the railing in EP 4, cause it was the first thing that made me really go 'WOOF'. Competence is hot, babes). (I also totally see young Ed jumping down from heights, fucking up his knee)

-Oh, that Ed having knee problems is TECHNICALLY a head cannon, but at this point...it's canon.

-Most problems could be solved with communication, its a shame each member of the crew speaks in their own language of bullshit, trauma, and stubbornness.

-Ed never paints his own nails. Honestly, mood my man.

-Lucius/Pete get married long before Stede/Ed. Personally, I vibe with this because Stede probably holds a lot of beliefs about what weddings mean for a relationship (stagnation, settling down, and fulfilling societal duties). While Stede is a romantic and would love to marry Ed, I think he'd need to see Lucius and Pete make it work, especially with their open relationship.

-Their historical deaths will be real, but be fuckeries. Honestly. I know S2 is a gap season, but FUCK S3 could be so COOL if they go this route. (Blackbeard's ship sailing into Ocracoke for a wedding and party, being unable to escape and having to fight it out being what happened. Stede getting hung a few weeks later)

-Ed can play the piano/harpsicord', Stede can not.

-'Ed' vs 'Edward' has VERY specific meanings depending on who and why they are saying it.

-Izzy's loyalty was somewhat bought from Ed saving his life, either metaphorically (giving Izzy a happier life as a pirate) or literally (saved from being hung/saving him in a fight). In Izzy's eyes his only purpose is to protect Edward.

-Stede WILL go back to the fancy dress and accessories. The Ep 10 look was a rebirth, a new slate to build a happier version of himself. As much as I love 'tuff' muscled Stede, that's not who he is. He loves finery and being soft.

-The crew is a family, and if EP 9 ended how Ed wanted it to they could have been happy together yes. But they'd be alone. No family and friends to support them.

AND as always:

-Lucius is still alive.

[therecordchanger62279]

Excerpt from my unpublished novel:

     The noise from the next boat kept me up half the night. The redhead, and her senior boyfriend must’ve had a helluva party. I think it finally broke up about 5 a.m., and I must’ve finally gotten to sleep shortly after. I slept past noon, and woke up tired anyway. I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning, and scrubbing the boat, getting her ready to….to stay docked, I guess. I wasn’t planning a trip. It was just busy work. I was spending most nights on the boat these days, and I like that just fine – until the neighbors get too loud. I could’ve gone to Kate’s, but that could’ve been worse. I was getting tired of her moods. It was nice to have a hiding place.

     I quit working about 7, and decided I’d go down to the 3.14, and get a sandwich, and a beer. I stepped off the boat, and heard my name. “Joe! Hey, Joe!” It was Steve, Dan’s son.

     “Where you been? Haven’t seen you lately.”

     “Aw, I’ve been on the boat, mostly workin’ down below, tryin’ to get organized. I’ll be spending more time on it now.”

     “Weren’t you seein’ that waitress…Kate? Was that her name?”

     “Yeah, I was. I mean, I guess I still am, but things have been a little chilly lately, so I’ve been sleepin’ here.”

     “Where you headin’?”

     “Down to the 3.14 for a sandwich, and a beer. Want to join me?”

     “Sure. Sounds good.”

     We took my car, and being a Wednesday evening, the place wasn’t too crowded. We sat at the bar, The barmaid took our order, and we sipped our beers, and munched on peanuts until she brought the burgers out. We talked about Dan, Steve’s dad, and I shared a few stories with him about our “glory days.” When that topic was covered, Steve asked again about Kate.

     “So, you’re still seeing Kate…sort of?”

     “Yeah, I guess. That woman has a mean temper, and a hair trigger, too. That’s not a good combination. I like things quiet. No drama. But, it’s always something with her. When it’s good, it’s really good, but lately…”

      “I thought maybe you found a second wife, the way things were goin’?”

     “Oh, no. Definitely not. What’s the line from that song? I ain’t ready for the altar, but I do agree there’s times when a woman sure can be a friend of mine. That’s all I need is a friend. I did marriage once. Once was enough.”

     “Sounds like the first time ‘round left a few scars?”

     “Yeah, but they’ve all healed. But I don’t have a taste for it anymore. And I don’t have the temperament. Age makes you a lot less tolerant, and tolerance is something every marriage has to have. I should stop eating out, though.”

     “Why do you say that?”

     “I have a real weakness for waitresses.”

     Steve smiled, nodded, and then asked, “Any luck with the job search?”

     “Not so far. I can always sit for a while, and try to write another book – if the neighbors keep the noise down, that is. If I’m careful, I’ve got enough to keep me for a few months, at least.

     “Noise? What noise?”

     “That old guy on the next boat has got a very young girlfriend that likes to socialize into the wee hours. They kept me up past 5 this morning.”      “Do you want me to have a word with him?”

     “No, it’s fine. It’s not every night. Just now and again.”

     “I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. How young is she?”

     “She’s not a day over 22, if I had to guess.”

     “Really? He must be getting some revenge on his wife.”      “Wife? He’s married?”

     “Oh, yeah. But she never comes to the boat. He told me she hates the water. I think he bought the boat to get away from her.”

     “Well, I guess I can’t hold that against him.”

     Steve chuckled, and just then I saw the redhead walk through the door with a much younger guy in hand. “If you want to see why he stays up so late, she just walked in,” and I nodded toward the door.

     “Wow! That’s her? You weren’t kidding. She could be his granddaughter.”

     “Trust me. She’s definitely not. But it looks like they’re not exactly going steady. She’s hanging all over this one, too. How can she look that good with no more sleep than I had?”

     “Like you said, not a day over 22.”

[popculturebuffet]

Pee-Wee's Playhouse: Monster in the Playhouse Review

In Loving Memory of Paul Rubens 1952-2023 The loss of Paul Rubens this week.. was one of the most devistating celebrity death's i've experienced, up there with Bowie and Adam West. It's just one of those deaths that really gnaws as your soul a bit, to see some one who brought such joy to your life gone in an instant. With Paul it hurt more because he's been such a constant: My family LOVED Pee Wees Big Adventure and I saw it PLENTY as a kid, a truly iconic and fun film that really showcased what paul could do. As I grew up, he was in Mystery Men, one of my faviorite superhero films to this day and a great part of it as the gaseous gladiator The Spleen.

Ironically it wasn't till I was in college and beyond I got to see Peewee's Very own children show and paul's masterwork Peewee's Playhouse, the classic 80's childrens show that had plenty of whimsy for it's target audience of young children.. but plenty of charm, puppetry, a stacked cast, and some all time great set design that made it a classic. It's no wonder my young niece and nephew glommed onto it as kids back when Netflix had it nor mourned him alongside the rest of us.

So while I intend to do more of Paul's work later when I can, faster if someone comissions them, I figured this was the best place to start and to honor him in the moment: my faviorite episode of his show. You'll find out why and if you hadn't really heard of paul rubens find out why he was so awesome under the cut.

Pee-Wee Herman started as a character Rubens made for the stage, with his stage show The PeeWee Herman show. The character was a hit from the get go and said hit lead a young filmaker by the name of Tim Burton to come calling. Thus Pee-Wee's Big Adventure Was born. I was honestly suprised to find the movie came first, as the show has none of it's cast, just the human muppet at the center. It does make sense though as the two works show off the two diffrent but equally awesome ways to play with Pee-Wee. Pee-Wee as a character.. is a giant cartoon. He's very clearly a grown man, but acts like a ten year old, lives in a bonkers house no matter the verison of him, and dosen't care how weird he comes off to everyone.. and thus charms most people simply by being himself. It's why the character resonates with me so much: Pee-Wee is who he is and he's not self concious about it. he's not really lambasted by most characters for being weird and those who do are usually jerks. When something bad happens to him it's usually because he brought it on himself.

So as a giant cartoon there's two ways to play him: you either plop him into the mundane world and see everyone else bounce off the loveable weirdo, or you meet him on his level and have a world of childlike wonder and total insanity. The movie went for the former, allowing rubens to be as unrestrained as he wants while still being a charming guy, and the show, being meant for kids but not talking down to them, could be as weird as rubens could get.

Playhouse has the trappings of a preschool show: most of the cast is hammy, everythings weird and ther'es a lot of loud stuff to keep attention like the secret word. But it's done in a way that's also gentle, calming and just dang fun to watch: it comes off as what a young kid would THINK being an adult was where you can be a cowboy or pretty for a job, have to deal with horrifying salesman and get to have a ptreodactyl as a pet. It's this nice chill fantasy world that's diverse, where only three people are dicks and one of them, pee wee, ususally learns not to be and that tries to teach kids to be excellent to one another.

And while I picked this episode as a personal favorite.. it really encapsulates a lot of what makes this series great and it's philosphy well. Monster in the House follows Pee Wee on what starts as a pretty normal day, he checks on his ants who are gorgeously animated in this nice construction paper style with black on yellow. It REALLY looks cool. Also cool is a season 1 exclusive feature: his toys. His toys... are basically sids toys from toy story, some horrifying mashups, in this case an octopus cowboy with a thousand eyes and a Frankenstein head on a standard dolly, that still has doll hair. It made me realize something about the show: it REALLY loves it''s animation. While the puppetry is awesome, we'll get to that, we have bits like the dinosaur family, the toys and the ants, the penny cartoons, all vastly different styles, all gorgeous. They even bring in some retro shorts via the king of cartoons. It also speaks to the shows tone: it's really freefloating: While there's usually some through line to anchor the episodes shenangians, it has this nice, serene atmosphere, a childhood memory brought to form where you'll often play or do other stuff amidst the hustle and bustle of your life. It's a vibe I haven't really seen in any other show or felt anything close to and it's glorious. There just.. isn't another show that FEELS like this.

Helping with that is the puppetry. I've been covering muppets here lately and Paul really has a lot of the same philosphy's as Jim Henson. It's really sad the two never did something together: Pee Wee did a segment or two for sesame street and not only won an honrary muppet award but was a guest in muppet magazine where we got just.. the most wholesome image ever

But both have this gentle nature that belies the manic content they make, injecting an earnestness into the madness. Peewee has a talking chair, a dog who is also a chair and looks utterly horrifying, a globe, his own robot, a tetradactyl.. all puppets.. but all feel really. Terry is like the son PeeWee never had, CHairy is one of his best friends and in a nice touch i'd never noticed before her eyes and hands usually move when she's in frame even if she's not the focus of the scene. There's also clearly something going on between them but I feel a memorial is a poor place to talk about chair on human romance. The puppets feel real even whent hey can be limited, and all have unique looks. Even chairy and dog chair despite being both animate chairs look and feel different, chairy coming off as pee wee's shy best friend and dog chair being an utter nightmare that's also adorable.

It's the giant gaping mouth. Just... I love a good dog but when you make one that could swallow me whole and very likely my soul at the same time you loose me. Except for Clifford. he's a good boy. You eat those souls clifford, you get bigger and stronger boy. That's a good red dog. Good boy.

So before we get to the plot we need to get the secret word. For those less familiar Pee Wee unplugs and turns on his robot buddy Conky, whose just a delight. And honestly all this reviewing thomas the tank engine effed me up a bit as I was horrified at first that Pee Wee turns Conky off at all.. but then realized they cleverly tucked the reason WHY Conky is plugged in and has to be turned on into the show: he needs to be recharged. Pee Wee would love to have him on all the time, but he dosen't want his friend to run out of battery. It's simply how the bot sleeps.

So he has honky print it out the word and whenever somebody says the secret word "scream real loud". it's a LOT of fun as any time it happens the whole playhouse joins in. Pure hell for parents but something so charmign you can forgive it. It's also sweet when Reba the Mail Lady, one of peewee's friends and his well mail lady, is so deligthed to have said it by accident. It's really sweet

The plot kicks off proper when Mrs. Steve shows up. Mrs Steve is a season 1 exclusive... and unlike others like Tito or Captain Carl who likely got cycled out because production moved and they simply coudln't move with it, Mrs. Steve feels like she got shuffled out because she just doesn't fit the shows tone well. The show DOES have an outright antagonist in randy, but he's more a harmless doofy bully no one takes seriously and who at most sets peewee astray by getting into his head. Mrs. Steve on the other hand is that kind of asshole we've all had: she gets into everyone's business, complains constantly and unlike most of the cast dosen't really jibe with the weirdness that is the playhouse. I don't mind someone say having a straight reaction to peewees nonsense but detesting it just dosen't work. She DOES work well enough for the episodes she's in, I just think longterm it was a wise decision to phase her out. Her actress does a great job though.

In this case there's a monster in the neighborhood. I mean you'd THINK given Mrs Steve sees Dog Chair and Season 1 globey on a regular basis she'd be used to monsters but apparently not. She's warning everyone. Pee Wee doesn't believe but everyone else does. Even the king of cartoons has to be talked into doing his job. I also just.. love the fact that in season one the king whose only job is showing up to show children cartoons has a new york style cabbie. It's so peewee.

Naturally though for this universe there IS a monster, as just when peewee clams everyone down by turning off the lights,a nice calming little bit of letting fear go.. the monster shows up. And Roger , he's named later.. has a fucking awesome design. It's clearly someone in a suit though how I don't know. THey might be hunched over by they CAN jump.

It's such a unique design. Admitely I love cyclopic monsters, so i'm defintely bisased but the nice touches like his weird foot, the little tubes or the side mouth are great.

I also love Pee Wee's response to Chairy Pointing out he said monsters weren't real "So I was wrong, sue me". With Roger just making monster sounds Pee Wee has no idea how to deal with him, realizes he's hungry and makes him a sandwitch which is fun. I also love Roger looking inside peewees fridge to see his food doing thier usual capering and how he just opens and shuts it like a kid would. And as it turns out.. that's what roger is. When PeeWee can't get him to go he WISHES he could understand him. And naturally ...

Since he's not being forced to this bit though the real jambi gladly grants the wish. With the wish granted, long lived Jambi we find out Roger.. is actually a child. He's kind, has a nicely innocent voice and simply wanted to play. He didn't mean anything by his stomping, and was just confused why Peewee was scared of him jsut because he was a monster. It's a nice message about not hating something you don't understand just because it's diffrent. Not subtle, but it's also not so over the head that it dosen't work. Roger may look weird.. but so does the rest of the house. Unsurprisingly PeeWee is huge in monsterland. So PeeWee apologizes and makes a new friend and everythigns good. The episode ends with pee wee getting a call on his picture phone.. which is one of my faviorite runners as in a nicely peewee touch, he always puts on some background and costume before answering. We get Roger's mom whose upset he was missing, ssays the secret word (a touch I really love) but invites peewee back for spagetthi because who wasn't. We also get a nice twist on the usual ending. Usually pewee gets on his scooter, heads off and we see him ending. Here Roger JOINS peewee for the trip. They also scare the crap out of mrs steve, always a good time. Monster in the Playhouse is excellent and it's on youtube. It's a great sample of how good the series was, has a nice wholesome legend and as always showcases just what a great performer rubens was. He'll truly be missed and I hope he's somewhere up there, in his own playhouse. Thanks for reading.. and we'll miss you paul.

[ilikethequiet]

In the Wee Small Hours (A The Nanny Fic)

Title:  In the Wee Small Hours Summary: A late night conversation reveals a softer side to C.C. Rating: G, for now. Might go up in later parts. Author’s Note: This came to me, and I decided to run with it. There will be more parts, yes.

I checked it through with Grammarly, so it sounds okay, tell me if it doesn’t 😘Feedback/likes are so appreciated. Will also be posted to AO3.

It wasn’t unusual for C.C. to stay at the mansion, sometimes the endless revisions to plays and productions ate up her time and it was too late to head back to her apartment which truthfully, she preferred, her apartment was so cold and sterile compared to the Sheffield’s home; it was warm, and the fridge was always stocked with goodies and alcohol, what more could a person want?

The house was quiet, the family has gone to be hours ago. In her early days of staying over, C.C. entertained the idea of sneaking into Maxwell’s bedroom and offering herself to him, but she could imagine how that would go down, rejection and never-ending ridicule from Niles if she failed. She wouldn’t be able to show her face again. Getting the ice cream out of the fridge she leaned on the counter, taking a few mouthfuls.

She heard soft footsteps come down the stairs and hoped that it wasn’t Nanny Fine, she did not want to put up with that woman right now. C.C. looked over, surprised to see that it was in fact Brighton coming down the stairs. She didn’t have a lot of contact with the children, she preferred it that way, but the boy looked unsettled, she supposed she could try talking to him.

“You’re up late. Everything all right?”

Brighton shrugged as he went to get a glass of milk, an important date was coming up that the rest of the family had either chosen to ignore or had forgotten about but not him, and it had been playing on his mind.

C.C. wondered what it was that had put him in such a melancholy mood, a test at school perhaps? Bullies? A girl? As she observed him, she couldn’t help but notice how much he resembled his mother; Maxwell often said as such about the girls, but C.C. thought it truer of him. She glanced over at the calendar and suddenly understood what was vexing him.

“Ah, Sara’s birthday.” She’d been too involved in work to notice the date was fast approaching. It wasn’t something the family celebrated; Maxwell always tried to distract the kids with some activity to do that day so they wouldn’t be sad and while it worked, C.C. could tell it wouldn’t this time.

“You were friends, right? You don’t talk about her.”

“Your father thought it would be easier for you and your sisters if we didn’t.” She took a seat next to Brighton. “But I miss her every day, I still expect her to be here when I walk in.” C.C. smiled sadly.

“When her birthday comes around, I try to do everything that we would have done together; get coffee, go to the theatre, come back and annoy Niles while he’s cooking.” She chuckled; that was one tradition she kept alive daily. “Then I go to the cemetery and place flowers on her grave.”

“Thank you,” Brighton answered, he hadn’t been to their mother’s grave in years, and it never felt like the right time to ask. It was nice to know that Miss Babcock kept the woman in her memory.  “I just wish I remembered more about her,” Brighton said solemnly; his memory had gaps and while they had home videos, it wasn’t the same.

“You get your cocky attitude from her,” C.C. commented, while Maxwell would claim otherwise, C.C. knew that Sara was the real comedian; One time she had even suggested that Niles was in love with her, C.C. Babcock, the very idea. “And you have her smile.”

“Do you think I can come with you when you go to the cemetery? I just want to see her, I guess.” Brighton knew she wasn’t there, that it was just bones and a piece of stone that commemorated who his mother had been, but he wanted to visit.

 “Perhaps if you decide to take a sudden interest in the theatre on that day, something can be arranged.” C.C. could always use a gopher and then let him walk in Sara’s footsteps.

“I can probably go to sleep now. Thanks, Miss Babcock.”

“Don’t tell anyone about this all right? I’ve got a reputation to protect.” It cannot be known that she was nice to a child, she would never work in this town again.

Brighton washed out his cup and put it in the dishwasher. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Brighton.” She smiled and went back to her ice cream.

-------

In another part of the house, Niles had been privy to the entire conversation having figured out long ago how to keep the kitchen intercom on, finding it helpful to keep him abreast of goings on. When he heard Miss Babcock address Brighton, he thought perhaps he should intervene should the witch try to cook him in the oven but something out of the ordinary happened; the ice queen ended up having a civil conversation with the boy, one where they had seemingly planned to celebrate the late Mrs Sheffield’s birthday together.

Niles had to wonder if the real Miss Babcock had been taken by pod people with a copy put in her place because there would be no way that she would willingly spend time with one of Maxwell’s children. He needed to find out what her angle was.

When he got to the kitchen, C.C. was rummaging through the fridge, Nile took a moment to take in her outfit; white silk pyjamas with a matching long robe, very different from what Miss Fine wore but classy, Niles expected no less. He moved quietly until he was behind her, then spoke. “What are you up to, witch?”

The voice was unexpected, and it caused C.C. to jump, almost dropping the cake she had retrieved from the fridge. She glared at Niles and put it over on the counter. “Eating cake? What, did you have a bad dream or something?”

“Mm yes, it was quite horrifying. I dreamt you were a decent person.”

C.C. smirked as she cut into the cake. “That doesn’t sound like me. What was I doing? Feeding the poor? Giving away my money?”

“Comforting a child.”

Her eyes snapped to Niles’, his words were too much of a coincidence for him to come up with such a thing on his own, he must have had the kitchen bugged or something.

it was a thrill watching the heiress so unnerved. “You put so much effort into pretending you don’t care but deep down you do have a heart. You even remembered Brighton’s name.”

Of course, C.C. knew Brighton’s name, she was his godmother after all, but it was one of those titles that had been lost over time due to Sara’s passing.

“You’ll be telling Mr Sheffield about your plans, yes? Should bring your brownie points up to one.” Not that he kept a chart, but Miss Babcock would have to put in extra effort if she was going to catch up to Miss Fine.

 C.C. glared at him; did he really think her to be so shallow as to use her friend’s death to get in Maxwell’s good books? “Okay servant, what is your silence going to cost? Name your price.” C.C. regretted her words immediately, who knew what the butler would want in return, or how long he would hold it over her?

Niles smiled devilishly, having the producer in his debt had several interesting possibilities. “A decision such as this should not be made lightly, like a fine wine it needs to be savoured.”

God, he was pretentious. “Well, I’m going to bed, some of us work early.” C.C. made her way back up to her room, going over in her head what Niles could ask for. He could be crafty, but a Babcock’s word was their bond, C.C. would have to honour it, whatever it was.

It couldn’t be that bad, right?

[ghostiewriter]

Yeah, different anon, but I agree with you. I don’t feel like this season has any space (esp. considering the number of episodes) for romances outside of Skloom, Aisha\Grey, and some Rivusa buildup that has to go through Samusa and Riventrix first.

Also, I don’t feel like a romance would fit any of the other girls atm? Maybe it could work for Terra, but I don’t see it much with everything else going on. I’d rather it be when they have time to actually develop it, and maybe even have her explore her sexuality (done well it’d be really good rep). Also, she’s just gone through everything with Dane in s1, and it’d be repetitive to immediately jump in with a new one.

As for Stella, there’s just too much going on. She needs to figure herself out, first. I can’t see her having anything with anyone rn. The only thing I would consider is her having scenes with someone that imply smth\plant the seed for the future, but nothing more. And yes, I know Brandon’s not there, but I still think it’s possible, mainly because I also have a feel they’re not necessarily inserting his character as it was in the cartoon and could do something on the lines of Aisha and Grey.

And Flora, she just came in. Her and Helia were my favorites as a child in spite of being a quite simple couple because I was like Flora back then, and it was nice to see that someone shy and not so outspoken could be happy too. That’s why I really hope he or some version of him comes in the show eventually, but Flora herself needs to be explored first. I really wanna see her, her personality, her powers, learn what she was doing away (and where she was) before anything else. I also admit I’ll be a bit disappointed (though I’ll 99% still love the season) if they don’t make her a bit “shady.”

I want her coming in already knowing some secrets, maybe having been on a mission\missions and being more advanced with her powers, just seeming all so innocent (and being it for the most part) but then plotting behind Rosalind’s back more than anyone else. It’d be cool if she had been sent (maybe even due to her family ties) to a more advanced school (like the one they have on Lynphea in the cartoon) in order to learn more advanced magic, and maybe to prepare if something like everything rn with Rosalind happened. Plus, she needs to build her bonds with the other characters, explore her relationship with Terra (maybe even Sam, although I wish he didn’t exist), and I really want her to be bffs with Riven even if it’ll probably never happen.

And like, the show will prove me wrong on this but I’d love it if there were Helia mentions without him being there. Or even if when he hopefully comes in later we learn he and Flora already knew each other. Considering that Helia was a very talented specialist in the cartoon, I have this idea where he and Flora would have met while doing this sort of more advanced training and left as friends as they were unsure of how to voice their feelings. Then, Helia’s forced to come to Alfea for reasons, and everything builds from there. Even without this headcanon though, they could have already met for whatever reason (maybe Helia still being against specialist training and running to Lynphea), and well, the rest would be the same.

OKAY HI SORRY I KNOW YOU SAID A LOT AND I AM SO WITH YOU ON EVERYTHING BUT CAN WE JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENT BECAUSE I AM OBSESSED

One: I FUCKING NEED A RIVEN/FLORA FRIENDSHIP LIKE I NEED AIR!!! If Flora follows her personality that she has in the cartoon, that grumpy/sunshine bestie dynamic between them? UNMATCHED!! Flora being the only person (other than Musa for obvious reasons) who’s able to read Riven and his wee tells and emotions? Riven being an only child but Flora being the closest thing to a little sister to him? That protective nature they have for each other? FUCKING SIGN ME UP I NEED THIS DEAR GOD

AND SECONDLY, YOUR HELIA AND FLORA HEADCANONS??? YES?????

No because the idea that there’s some lingering tension between them when they meet again, and everyone else can see it except them and it could just be such a pure ass relationship!! Or even Helia coming in as a sort of spy (maybe for another specialist school or something) and acting stand-offish with Flora to keep her away from the mission but she’s confused because she knows that’s not how he really is and she keeps prodding until she figures it out👀or just even Helia coming in as this new, mysterious specialist like he did in the cartoon and we get a “she fell first but he fell harder” plot between them👀

GOD I NEED IT ALL!! And I DEFINITELY need some Flora sneakiness in there, like she’s so sweet and kind but she’s got this whole other side that’s playing Rosalind just the way she wants!!!

Also I would fucking love for them to explore Terra’s sexuality but I doubt they will🤡but it would be such an interesting dynamic if they brought the witches in and maybe one of them end up having a thing with Terra👀the literal definition of opposites attract but it would be so fucking cute

[genderdisaster]

The Doorway

I sat in the driver's seat, A/C blasting my face while the sun beat through the windshield. Phone perched precariously on the steering wheel, camera pointing back at me, I waited to be connected to my clinician. The loading animation continued to spin, and I wondered what the hell I had gotten myself into. I had, without knowing, picked the hottest day of the year so far to book my telehealth visit, and even with the air conditioning on high, the back of my shirt was already soaked through with sweat. Every step of this process was difficult, and it made me wonder if this was all the universe giving me a sign that I was making a grand mistake. My fan belt squealed with protest as the AC compressor kicked in again.

This strange arrangement was the product of a grand revelation from three weeks prior. Laying in bed in the wee hours of the morning, I had this sudden realization--what if I'm not the man I always resigned myself to be? Why was I so worried about fitting into this mold of masculinity that felt so alien and foreign to me? What if I could be something else? Something different? Why didn't I take the plunge and finally make an appointment for HRT like I had been dreaming of ever since I had learned about informed consent prescribing? I had run out of excuses and, at 3am on a work night, I scheduled a consultation at the local clinic.

I postponed the first date.

I nearly postponed the second date.

But I couldn't keep putting this off forever.

A face suddenly shot into view on the cell phone screen. A medical assistant was there to walk me through the initial steps of the consultation and to gather medical and billing information. She told me her pronouns, asked me for mine, and I was hit with the full weight and realization that "Oh, this is a thing I need to start thinking about." I had gone my entire life fitting neatly into the "he/him" box because it seemed like the logical choice given where I was positioned in my family and in society writ large. By extension, I felt safe in that role because I felt invisible. I enjoyed a considerable amount of privilege because of those pronouns, but they never really felt like me. I sheepishly replied "they/them, please."

And then my phone shut down.

As it turns out, resting your phone on the dashboard of a car in full view of the sun on a 95 degree day is not a great idea. Neither is using that same phone for a teleconference via 5G and charging it at the same time. My poor phone, overwhelmed by the elements and the task at hand, had overheated halfway through the intake and put itself into "safe mode." I could make phone calls, but all other apps were off limits until the temps came down. Unofficially, I told myself that even my phone couldn't take the vulnerability of the situation. The medical assistant called me back, thankfully, and we were able to get through the rest of the intake portion. My phone, for its part, gradually came back from the brink of self-immolation and played nice during the phone call--provided I kept the cool air blowing over the back of it. All cleared and ready to go, I was placed into holding-mode for my appointment with the doctor.

There's something about being on hold on a telemedicine app that makes it so much more fraught than in an actual office. In an office, even if the doctors and the rest of the staff forget about you, there will inevitably be a kindly janitor or cleaning crew to come by and tell you "everyone's gone, bud. Go home." But on a telehealth call? Does the app disconnect? Does the clinician get a reminder? Do I just wait for the inevitable heat death of the universe? All those questions (and more!) swirled around in my head as I waited for the clinician. Five minutes turned into ten, which turned into twenty, eventually closing in on an hour. I worried that, given the issues with our initial connection, I was missing the actual appointment and this screen would just keep refreshing. Maybe, in a more realistic sense, I was worried about this timing because I felt so vulnerable and downright …weird sitting here, waiting to talk to someone about all of this from inside my car in a strip mall parking lot. I made a mental note to come back at some point and try the barbecue spot near the end.

After an eternity, the screen finally changed to indicate that I was being placed into a session with a clinician. As the screen momentarily blinked out, however, I caught my reflection in the blackness of my phone. I saw my face, my full beard, my square jaw and well-coiffed hair. I felt like a fraud. How could I be anything other than a man? Who was I kidding? What would this clinician think of all this? I imagined her looking at me with complete incredulity, asking "Are you sure this is what you really want to do? Maybe you should come back in a few weeks or a month, just to see if you change your mind? Is this all some Weird Sex Thing™?"

"Hello, can you hear me?" she started.

At least, that's what her lips were indicating as they moved. The audio was still utterly silent on my end. On the screen sat a young woman clad in a fuzzy micro-fleece half-zip, the wall behind her emblazoned with slogans about safety, validity, and acceptance. She looked friendly, accepting, safe.

"I cannot hear you." I began, "Can you hear me?"

The woman nodded her head and began fiddling with some wires on her desktop, mildly flustered with the technology issues. After a few failed attempts, (was this another sign?) she began chatting with me via the app--

"I can hear you, is this XXXXX?"

I indicated yes.

"Great, can you verify your birthday for me?"

I told her my date of birth, and she responded that she would call me to finish up the assessment. The little voice again, echoing from the back of my mind--"This is a siiiiign!"

My phone started ringing. I picked it up.

"Hello?" I began.

"Hello! Can you hear me now?" she asked. I could, to my relief, hear the chipper and friendly voice coming from the other end.

Things smoothed out considerably after that point. We went over my medical history (high blood pressure, anxiety, neurodivergence), my feelings about gender (neither feeling masculine or feminine strictly, but leaning more fem in overall feeling), goals for transition (to demasculinize, first and foremost), and we mapped out a game plan moving forward. I would be starting on a normal dose of transdermal Estrogen as monotherapy; my blood pressure medications wouldn't interact well with Spiro, but I could always add that on in the future with the blessing of my regular GP. In terms of social transition, we discussed the issues that I face with coming out as anything other than strictly cis-passing in my day-to-day professional life. Finally, we would follow-up in 90 days to see where my levels were at and how I felt. She sent the script off to my pharmacy, as I actively felt my heart rate returning to normal and my shoulders relaxing for the first time in hours.

I did it. I took the first step through the doorway to a new me. I had been lingering on a threshold for most of my life without even realizing it, and I had taken the first step at last. I finally began to move past the fear and shame, and towards the feelings that simmered under the surface for years.

I felt a new and exciting feeling. Hope.