#i had a visceral fucking reaction

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[superhell]

top ten scenes that send the viewer into cardiac arrest

[iamfabiloz]

The new arc’s first book blurb dropped im going to lose my shit

[hamletisintown]

Can you imagine thinking like this? Not only thinking technology can completely replace humans in making art, but also thinking humans should then work as artists to feed the AI. Of all the horrible things I've seen people say to defend AIs, that has got to be the most sick, disgusting takes of all.

How can you be se disconnected from the joy of creating that you think this is normal.

[lucifersimp]

Michael & Lucifer - Swan Song script

bonus:

more spn scripts here (+ @/spnscripthunt)

[soultea]

I was so worried about the fact that RTD kills people and gives them sad endings that I entirely forgot to prepare myself for the fact that RTD also writes horror that will live in your goddamn BONES. I am filled with the most primal fear y'all.

[moe-broey]

Besties it might be so fucking over. If we get Bride Sharena it's so fucking over. Like I cannot even express how bad it's gonna be for me specifically.

[grinchwrapsupreme]

i'll be honest i'm scared of getting to season 3 of the witcher specifically because i'm worried i won't be able to take radovid seriously

the only other things i've seen hugh skinner in are fleabag and mamma mia and i was introduced to him as wills on the windsors i cannot see his squint without thinking of that other fucking prince i'm going to be in shambles

[girl4music]

My time with ‘Angel the Series’ is officially over. I will not be continuing watching the show from this point onwards because I’ve just watched something that shocked, angered and revolted me all at the same time that I almost projectile vomited. And no I will not elaborate on why or how. The tags will clue you in. It’s too NSFW to write about in the main post. But god…

To the writer of this episode -

I hope you went to therapy because that was horrific.

How this got passed The WB censors is beyond me.

I just… this is too much for me. So yeah, I’m done.

This was the last straw. Enough is e-fucking-nough!

I did want to watch Season 5 but I just can’t continue.

Not after seeing that. Experiencing that. I cannot.

This is worse than Willow and Tara, Spike and Buffy, Faith and Riley. It’s even worse than Buffy and Angel.

Network TV greenlit this for production and aired it in primetime hours. This could have destroyed the actors’ careers completely. Probably most likely did. ‘Angel the Series’ had a 9PM slot on a weekday so they would have likely avoided young children watching when it was a school night most nights. But my god… to show something like that in primetime is just wrong. Especially for a TV network like The WB.

[bethiewhimsy]

moodboard for when you listen to survive from epic

[iamanartichoke]

Oh, so it was a mistake mistake to come on tumblr tonight, huh.

[tokagrem]

I should be glad actually that aphelios and sett are never gonna be in arcane because listening to guns for hire again has made me realize that the result would probably leave me emotionally shattered forever

[artmunstudios]

WHO DID THIS

WHO WAS THE ASSHOLE THAT DID THIS

YOU DID NOT NEED TO GO THAT HARD WHAT THE FUCK

[crsentfairy]

i will never forget how mad everyone on here was at me after finding out that i'm a straight girl

[samarecharm]

Love Core Keeper to death, but it managed to cram in the single worst phobia of mine as a biome and ive had to put off getting items from there for weeks before working up the courage to go in and explore 😭

[thegoblinwitch]

unsurprisingly (see my previous post here), i've been having nightmares about father recently.

i'm generally prone to them, but i tend to only remember vague impressions and/or emotions rather than the whole thing, esp since they very rarely wake me up, so by morning they're more or less gone.

these ones (or this one -- they're all variations on the same theme) actually wake me up and keep me awake at night.

they're a mix of flashes of situations (real or imagined - i've no idea), visceral emotions and then usually switches to me going though father's things after he dies unexpectedly and finding pictures that confirm things i never want confirmed.

and it's not like those weird nightmares that once you wake up you know are ridiculous and would have no way of happening in real life. it's always in a way that is totally plausible -- father was (is?) a professional photographer (it's how he met mother and lots of his girlfriends) and he's kept it up as a side job for a long time and he took a lot of pictures of me anytime we were together - i still have a few from the period i don't remember that, while 'innocent', makes you wonder if a father would really take these kind of pics of his kid?? but again it might be my bias or even just the fact that since he was a photographer it translated to all pics he took... (the latter of which i'm dubious about since it only happened with pics of me on my own - as soon as there's someone else in the frame it looks like an everyday photo)

and so i wake up in sweat and feeling sick, knots upon knots in my stomach because obv this is not something i want to think about and it's certainly not something i actually want to happen and it just freaks me out every single time. and i just... i wanna not think about it, i want to forget anything about it and not always having this fucking voice at the back of my mind whispering 'what ifs'.