#i had an anxiety attack last night cause i was so stressed out. its not even the final but im already so panicked i cant think straight | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wambsgansshoelaces · 8 months

Note

okay so last night i had this horrible bad bad bad no good panic/anxiety attack and like . i went through IT . was really bad , shaking so hard my teeth clattered , barely breathing , etc . so maybe could I get succession characters helping a so who has a panic/anxiety attack and grounding them? tysm 💐

~ 🦈

I’m really sorry that happened to you anon :( I hope you’re feeling much much better now!!! If you ever need to talk, you got me <3 I love u thank u for requesting, enjoy xx

panic attack (succession main cast)

Kendall

ᝰ he’s obviously had his fair share of panic attacks

ᝰ while he’s not really sure what’ll work for you specifically, he does his best to do things he wishes people did for him when he’d have attacks

ᝰ he has a few tricks up his sleeve, anyway

ᝰ when he first realizes you’re having one, he gets an ice cube

ᝰ and tells you to put it in your mouth and just leave it there

ᝰ “it helps your brain distract itself from its own meltdown,” he tells you softly

ᝰ all the while stroking your hair, your cheeks, your brow, whatever he can tell soothes you the most

ᝰ you suck on the ice cube until it melts

ᝰ and surprisingly enough, you’ve calmed down

ᝰ yes you’re still extremely anxious, but your breathing’s been regulated, your heart rate back to normal

ᝰ kendall coaxes you into a cuddle on the couch

ᝰhis fingers run through your hair over and over

ᝰ he’s just trying to bring you down from that bad high

ᝰ and he’s doing well

ᝰ he murmurs soft words to you

ᝰ and tries to get to the root of the issue

ᝰ “what caused all this, do you know?”

ᝰ you don’t have an answer

ᝰ but that’s okay

ᝰ he’ll take care of you regardless

ᝰ because you mean the world to him

ᝰ and if he can do anything to make you happy, he’ll do it

ᝰ you make him the happiest man to walk the earth

Roman

ᝰ is also a panic attack veteran

ᝰ kind of freezes the first time you have one in front of him

ᝰ but he snaps out of it immediately

ᝰ makes you lay down in bed while he runs to the bathroom

ᝰ he comes back with a cool washcloth and slaps it onto your face

ᝰ “roman!”

ᝰ “sorry, i didn’t think it’d go so hard!”

ᝰ you laugh

ᝰ but like you’re still having a panic attack

ᝰ he’s sat next to you, and rubs gentle circles into your cheeks and forehead with the washcloth

ᝰ the cool water helps soothe you as it seeps into your skin

ᝰ you calm down

ᝰ you’ve exhausted yourself

ᝰ once roman’s sure you’re not stressing the fuck out, he takes the washcloth and sets it on his side table

ᝰ he lays down with you and pulls you close to him

ᝰ “i’m tired, and i won’t be able to sleep unless you take a nap with me,” he states

ᝰ he sets your head on his chest

ᝰ and peppers kisses over your scalp

ᝰ he’s not even a little bit tired

ᝰ he just wants you to sleep and reset

ᝰ cheek smushed into his pec, you doze off

ᝰ he’s so happy, just having you here with him

ᝰ you’re safe when you’re with him

ᝰ and he’s safe when he’s with you

ᝰ he’s so warm and cuddly with you

ᝰ and you love it

Shiv

ᝰ if she’s ever had a panic attack, she’s never let you see it

ᝰ or anyone

ᝰ but when you have one in front of her, she can’t just let it happen

ᝰ she takes your face in her hands and makes you breathe

ᝰ “you’re going to do it just like me, okay?” she asks softly, eyes searching yours

ᝰ helps you box breathe

ᝰ “four cycles, babe, come on,” she encourages

ᝰ in four, hold four, out four, hold four

ᝰ “that’s it. you’re doing so well,” she coos

ᝰ within minutes she has you back to normal

ᝰ you don’t say anything, just hug her tight with your chin set on her shoulder

ᝰ “wanna talk about it?” she asks

ᝰ she’s there whether you do or you don’t

ᝰ if you do, she sits, she listens, and she does her absolute best to help

ᝰ and even if she can’t solve the issue itself, she’ll do everything in her power to make you feel better

ᝰ she goes out a bit later, not telling you where she’s going

ᝰ she returns with a banana split from dairy queen

ᝰ you share it, you perched on the kitchen counter, her standing in front of you

ᝰ your legs tangle together as you eat

ᝰ you end up getting a bit of whipped cream on the corner of your mouth

ᝰ“you’re so messy,” she says lightheartedly

ᝰ“what? look who’s talking,” you say back, wiping ice cream from her chin

ᝰ“i don’t know how that got there,” she mutters

ᝰ she lets you have the cherry

ᝰ she knows you love it

ᝰ but she loves it too

ᝰ so she kisses you, savoring the taste of the cherry

ᝰ but mostly just the taste of you

Tom

ᝰ well read wambsgans strikes again

ᝰ he realizes you have a panic attack oncoming and sits you down in a chair

ᝰ he keeps a hand on your shoulder and quietly talks you through it

ᝰ when your breathing begins to get erratic, he begins asking you questions so that you ground yourself

ᝰ “can you name three objects you can see in the kitchen?”

ᝰ “i, ah, the blender, the, um, coffee machine, and that stupid looking mug of yours,” you manage, referring to his ‘world’s best grandma’ mug he’d gotten in a white elephant thing at work

ᝰ “there you are. how about three things you smell?”

ᝰ he’s smiling softly at you, hand now pushing back hair from your face

ᝰ you inhale deeply, grounding yourself

ᝰ just as he’d intended

ᝰ “your cologne… i still kind of smell dinner? and…”

ᝰ at a loss, you lean forward and sniff

ᝰ “…laundry detergent,” you say after giving his shirt a sniff

ᝰ “you’re a cheater,” he says, despite his smile

ᝰ “oh, well,” you reply, smiling up at him

ᝰ he kisses your forehead

ᝰ “want to move to bed?” he asks

ᝰ “please.”

ᝰ before you know it, the two of you are curled together, the blankets and duvets bringing you comfort

ᝰ he brings you comfort

ᝰ he’s scratching gently at the nape of your neck, your head pressed into the crook of his

ᝰ you press lazy kisses to the skin under your mouth

ᝰ you fall asleep, a tangle of limbs, the sheets warm with affection

Greg

ᝰ lowkey is also having a panic attack

ᝰ but not really

ᝰ he pulls himself together for you

ᝰ he’s not really sure what to do

ᝰ so he googles it

ᝰ “hey, hey. close your eyes, and, uh, i’ll count to five, and you’ll breathe in through your nose, okay?”

ᝰ not really sure what this’ll do for you, but trusting him, you oblige him

ᝰ “exhale through your mouth, now.”

ᝰ after a few cycles, you’re feeling a bit better

ᝰ you’re still anxious, but it’s not suffocating you anymore

ᝰ “go sit, i’ll get ice cream,” he tells you

ᝰ when he comes back to sit next to you on the couch, he has a pint of your favorite ice cream in his hands and two spoons

ᝰ his arm goes around you and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze

ᝰ the two of you end up finishing the pint

ᝰ he talks about everything to take your mind off of whatever it was that was stressing you out

ᝰ eventually, your brow isn’t furrowed, your features aren’t tense

ᝰ he kisses your cheeks

ᝰ “are you feeling good? better, at least?”

ᝰ you are

ᝰ you’re finally at peace again

ᝰ you spend the rest of the night watching a favorite show of greg’s

ᝰ you love sitting there listening to him talk about why he enjoys it so much

ᝰ he tells you that he’ll enjoy it better when you watch it with him

ᝰ because the first time around, all he could think of was you and whether you would like it

ᝰ you’re all that’s on his mind

ᝰ ever

Stewy

ᝰ this man is a masterclass in calm

ᝰ “hey, baby, take a breath,” he tells you, one hand brace on your stomach, the other on the small of your back

ᝰ when you clearly do not take a good breath, he changes tactics

ᝰ the hand on your stomach moves to take your own hand

ᝰ the one on your back begins rubbing in circles

ᝰ “i really want to go on a walk,” he tells you, “and i really, really, want you to come with me.”

ᝰ you know he’s lying

ᝰ but you go with him anyway

ᝰ the fresh air helps you

ᝰ and just moving around helps clear your head

ᝰ eventually, you’ve calmed down a bit

ᝰ your breath is still stuttering and tears are welling in your eyes

ᝰ stewy still has your fingers intertwined with his

ᝰ his eyes never leave your face

ᝰ he reaches over and thumbs away your tears

ᝰ “you know, i think we’re on time to watch the sun set,” he tells you, eyes twinkling

ᝰ you end up at a nearby park

ᝰ he pulls you onto a bench overlooking empty meadows

ᝰ his arm loops around you and he lets you lean against him

ᝰ your arms wind around his wast, your fingers fiddling with his belt loop

ᝰ he dots kisses all over your head as the sky melts into pinks and oranges

ᝰ “so gorgeous,” you whisper, the colors blending and swirling together before your eyes

ᝰ “not as much as you,” he murmurs back

ᝰ “cheese ball,” you say happily

ᝰ “you know you love me.”

ᝰ “i do. very much.”

#succession headcanons #kendall Roy #kendall roy x reader #roman roy #roman roy x reader #siobhan roy #siobhan roy x reader #tom wambsgans #tom wambsgans x reader #gregory hirsch #gregory hirsch x reader #stewy hosseini #stewy hosseini x reader #succession #succession hbo #wambsgansshoelaces #succession x reader #anon ask

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agirlwithdemonblood · 3 months

Text

The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 4 - Coffee, Compassion, and Healing Hearts

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Chapter Summary: A little coffee & conversation goes a long way.

Warnings: Mentions of panic attack, anxiety

Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!

After returning from Jensen's, sleep escaped me entirely. The night replayed in my mind like a vivid movie: the warmth of his hands, his head leaning gently against mine, and the heartbreak engraved across his face.

I didn't know what he was going through or the events that had led him here, but seeing him in such pain tore me apart. I've always been empathetic—too much, some would say. When someone cries, I cry. When fear grips someone, I'm afraid too. But with Jensen, it was intense. Even when he didn't shed tears, I felt an urge to cry for him.

Morning arrived unnoticed, and I groggily checked my phone, relieved to find it was already 11:00. Thank goodness for the day off.

My thoughts immediately turned to Jensen. He had invited me for coffee today, but was that still on? I didn't want him to feel obligated after last night. Yet, without his number, I couldn't confirm our plans. Frustrated, I rolled out of bed and searched through my closet, debating what to wear just in case.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself at the fact that I was stressing over what to wear. Despite our rocky start, I couldn't deny the flutter of feelings whenever I thought of him—a silly crush like a schoolgirl. But I decided against dressing up, opting for casual wear. I didn't want him to misinterpret my intentions, especially after his fangirl comment the other day.

It took three attempts before I finally made it to his doorstep. Each time, anxiety almost sent me home. But taking a deep breath, I gathered my courage and knocked. The door swung open almost immediately, revealing Jensen's handsome face.

"Hi, Jensen, I wasn't sure what time—" I started nervously.

He smiled warmly, cutting me off. "Now is perfect. Come on in."

I nodded gratefully, stepping into his home and taking in the daylight-lit surroundings. Last night hadn't given me a good look, but now I could appreciate the cozy kitchen which was three times larger than mine with its welcoming blue cabinets, surrounding the area like a warm hug.

Jensen pulled out a stool for me and started preparing coffee, and taking supplies out.

"So, how was the rest of your night?" I questioned awkwardly, unsure what to say.

"It was alright," he replied softly, meeting my eyes briefly. "I checked on the kids after you left. They were okay once I explained what had happened."

I nodded, accepting the coffee he handed me with thanks. "And your'e night?" he asked, sitting beside me on a bar stool.

"It was alright, I didn't get much sleep," I spoke quietly.

His gaze fell on me, guilt spreading across his face nearly causing me to choke on my coffee. "No no, not because of you. I just couldn't shut my brain off.

He nodded in understanding, sipping his own coffee in thoughtful silence.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, anxiously twisting the mug in my hands. "I'm not great at this."

He smiled gently, turning to face me. "You're doing fine. I'm sorry about last night, though. That's not how I wanted you to see me, or anybody to see me for that matter."

I nodded sympathetically, feeling for him. He usually radiated confidence, strength, and humour—the typical charismatic celebrity. Showing himself in such a vulnerable light must have been very difficult for him.

"Well... I don't think any less of you for it," I assured him quietly.

He chuckled softly, his mile returning briefly. "You still see me as the famous guy next door?"

I smiled shyly as my head dropped to my fingers. "We should clear that up."

He froze, his smile fading. "I was just kidding."

"I know," I replied gently. "But before we get too neighbourly, I need to say something. I can't imagine what it's like to be in your shoes, meeting someone new and wondering if their a fan who is trying to intrude in your life."

He interrupted quickly, touching my arm lightly, sending a warm shiver through me. "Y/N, I was out of line—"

"Let me finish," I insisted, placing my hand over his, captivated by his green eyes. "Even though that's not what you meant, I'm sure it crossed your mind when we first met. I saw it, Jensen. I know there were doubts, especially that night you offered to pay for my window and I declined. You looked surprised, like no one had ever expected nothing from you."

"Yeah... you're right," he admitted quietly, his gaze dropping.

"I'm not your fan," I confirmed softly, locking eyes with him. "I'm your neighbour, and I hope we can be friends."

A spark flashed in his eyes as he met my gaze. "I'd like that," he said sincerely.

We fell into a comfortable silence, sipping our coffee and discussing unimportant things. Eventually, Jensen suggested we move to the backyard for some fresh air. It felt easier now, less awkward than our previous encounters.

"So," I began as we settled outside, catching his attention. "Do you want to talk about last night?"

He sighed, pushing his hair back with a hint of embarrassment. I quickly spoke again, "If you don't it's okay.."

He shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "No, I really should talk about it, if you don't mind."

"Of course," I assured him, waiting patiently as he gathered his thoughts. Noticing the way he fiddled with his fingers, intrigued by the way he was so careful with what to say and how to say it.

"I... guess everything just overwhelmed me last night," he started slowly, his hands fidgeting. "It's been tough since my wife and I split almost a year ago. It blindsided me. Almost a year ago, my wife told me she wanted to split up, break up, whatever you want to call it. We were having problems, but I didn't know we were at that point."

He paused, his gaze focusing on his fingers before he cleared his throat and continued. "Uh, so since then we have been sharing custody of the kids, and with my show ending, I've been trying to balance focusing on the kids and going to auditions. Yesterday when you heard me shouting outside, she promised to take them and she went on a date instead. I had to find that out through a friend, it triggered everything."

I instinctively reached over and grabbed his hand, noting the small smile spread across his face as his eyes flickered to mine, then back down. "So, I missed the audition, my agent was pissed, and my wife.. ex wife, is moving on while I feel stuck in place. Along with the fact that I'm pretty sure my kids hate me, it just all... overwhelmed me."

I squeezed his hand in sympathy. "Your kids don't hate you, Jensen."

He chuckled sadly, eyes downcast. "I'm not so sure about that. Katie's too young to understand, but Kevin... he's been distant, acting out."

I didn't know what to say, my own experiences with parental separation different from his. When my parents got divorced, it was a relief, finally the fighting stopped.

He ran a hand over his face, his hand releasing mine to grip his mug tightly.

"What led to the breakdown last night? It was early," I asked gently.

He nodded, a remorseful smile crossing his lips. "Stupid, really. A friend sent a photo of my ex with her new boyfriend online. We'd been keeping the divorce quiet. Then my agent called, furious that I hadn't told her, like my marriage falling apart was an inconvenience for her. It all crashed down at once, and I... I couldn't breathe, couldn't see straight. I just lost it."

My heart ached for him. "And how did your kids end up coming to get me?"

He shook his head and wiped his face as regret and shame filled him. "When I broke down, I collapsed and accidentally broke a glass. They came downstairs, bombarding me with questions. I tried to tell them that I was fine, but Kevin saw right through it. The kid is smarter than I give him credit for." he chuckled sadly. "He insisted on calling 911, but I told him not to, that I would be fine."

"I'm glad he came to get me," I said softly. "You didn't look fine."

"Just a panic attack," he muttered, his defences returning.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "So what? Panic attacks are terrifying. When I have them, it feels like I'm physically dying. You don't have to downplay it."

He looked at me in surprise. "You get panic attacks?"

I nodded, feeling vulnerable. He smiled sadly, and thought carefully. "When's the last time you had one?"

I stared down at my hands as embarrassment filled me, "Yesterday afternoon, actually."

"After our porch interaction," he whispered, realization spreading across his face, along with a deep set of regret.

He sighed and shook his head, "God, I really am an asshole. I have been spiraling and you didn't deserve it."

I avoided his gaze and smiled back "It's okay. We're okay now, right?"

He smiled gratefully, his demeanor softening. "Yeah. We're okay."

After we put our mugs away, Jensen walked me to the door. I expected to say goodbye there, but he surprised me by following me out, escorting me back to my own door. It was a small gesture that meant a lot.

"Um..." he started awkwardly as we stood at my door, staring at the ground. "I really can't thank you enough for last night, for the kids—"

"Don't," I interrupted gently, waving off his gratitude. "I'd hope someone would do the same for me."

He nodded and smiled politely. "I would. I will." he spoke softly, before pulling out his phone and handing it to me. "If you ever need anything or just want to grab a cup of coffee, reach out."

I smiled gratefully as I entered my number and returned it to him, our hands grazing momentarily in the shuffle.

"Well... it was nice to officially meet you, Y/N," he said with a shy smile.

My cheeks flushed, head dropping slightly under his gaze. "It's nice to officially meet you too, Jensen."

I watched him walk away, stealing glances back at me until he disappeared from view. And that was it.

That was the moment I realized I was in deep.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 5 coming soon stay tuned!

Like, comment, and reblog, feedback is my fuel 💕

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #dean x reader #supernatural one shot #dean #spn fic #jensen's smile #deanwinchester #spns #jensen ackles x you #jensenxyou #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader

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itsstrange · 3 months

Text

Hidden Desires

Fandom: Marvel, Mayor of Kingstown

Relationship: Jeremy Renner x Reader

A/N: Hey y’all just gonna drop this on here for y’all meanwhile I finish up a fic that I’ve been working on for a few weeks! Also, this one here is an old Fic that was originally published on my IG, Another thing, I thought it’d be appropriate to show some love to this man right here after being on the front cover of Mens Health!!

So, for all you Renner Fans out there, here you go! 🫶💓

Summary: “Unfortunately, your ride for the night happened to be Jeremy, Christy’s older brother, or in other words the one man who has completely ruined other men for you”

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: (Yes/No) Mentions of Alcohol, Frat Parties, Drunk Kissing, Sexual Tension, {Adult Content Will Be Listed Next Chapter!}

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ENJOY! 🔥

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This wasn’t how your night was supposed to go. You were supposed to be living it up, having an unforgettable night with your best friend, possibly even sleep with one of the frat boys to relieve yourself from all the stress and anxiety the school has given you these past few months. After months, months of constant stress, sleepless nights, acne trying to overtake your skin from the multiple quizzes your professors have given you, you were finally finished with the semester.

You still needed another year, a few more credits before officially being a college graduate, but as of now you decided to take advantage of this summer vacation to destress yourself. It was the last day of school and the frat boys decided to throw an open house party, which you and your best friend attended, but again, your night didn’t turn out the way you hoped for.

Barely reaching your fifth cup of… whatever it was, a nice smooth buzz began crawling its way up your veins, along with the high from a blunt you had inhaled from some random stranger, making you feel more relaxed, more loose, more alive than these last few months where you’ve been extremely tensed. All of it was gone in an instant, leaving you in a certain way where you were actually enjoying the party, the music. But just as you were enjoying the moment, it was of course interrupted in a second.

Barely having drank a shot of vodka, which of course causes a cough attack from you due to its brutal burn, Christy, your best friend whom you attended the party with catches your eye. From where you stood you watch her stumble her way through people until she eventually makes it to the kitchen where you had four more shots to go in front of you. However, before you can question her the sound of her gagging then spilling her stomach on the counter interrupts you. It was at that moment that you knew it was time to go home.

So here you were now, waiting just outside the frat house on the sidewalk with Christy putting all her weight on you while you both waited for your ride home. Unfortunately, your ride for the night happened to be Jeremy, Christy’s older brother, or in other words the one man who has completely ruined other men for you simply just by being him.

You had sent him a text through her phone letting him know of the situation, within a second he responds back stating he’d be there in less than 10. Once pocketing the phone in your back pocket, grabbing Christy and somehow managing to walk out the house without falling face first, you both sat on the sidewalk waiting for him. While waiting you couldn’t help your mind wonder.

The crush you had towards him was like no other, he had a hold on you that you couldn’t seem to get out of nor couldn’t seem to shake off, not that you wanted to of course, but still, he did things to you that only deepened that crush on him. You’ve obviously tried to brush those feelings away considering he’s your best friends older brother, but the harder you tried denying those feelings the harder they came back. Making you realize just how bad you had it for him.

You’ve had small talk with him here and there, he wasn’t much of a talker, at least to you anyways, he always did greet you whenever you’d showed up for family gatherings or family parties, but not once did he ever showed any interest towards you. Or.. at least that’s what you thought.

After waiting for a good 10 to 15 minutes on the sidewalk, a black Jeep wrangler pulls in front of you. The drivers side opens, revealing Jeremy in all his glory. Black T-shirt that hung perfectly against his toned body, revealing those large, fitted arms of his, with dark jeans and boots on his feet. You make eye contact with him as he crosses the little gap and crouches in front of you two.

“You good?” He asks, wondering if you’re capable of walking the little distance to the car,

Nodding your head at him you let him grab Christy, who was leaning her head against your shoulder, probably even drooling on your shirt. Once safely putting your best friend in the car and safely buckled down, you both climb inside the car where the drive to her house was in silence, only the sound of his music playing lowly through the speakers would drown out the thick silence.

As she dozed off in the backseat, snoring her life away, you sat in the passenger side, sneaking hidden glances at the man here and there. Feeling the way your cheeks stretched as your smile had a mind of its own, you just couldn’t help it, the way the street lamps would cast a dark, yet, bright golden glow on his face illuminated his features oh so perfectly. He wasn’t even doing anything, didn’t have to do anything, all he did was stare straight ahead, driving down the dark roads in silence yet it was enough to spark a small chuckle from you when your thoughts begin to wonder.

“Something funny?” He asks, never taking his eyes off the road,

You shake your head, feeling warmth crawling up your cheeks, “Nope,”

Jeremy glances at you with a raised brow for a few seconds before averting his gaze back on the road, catching a small glimpse at the way your lips lift upwards.

After an intense car ride and somewhat helping Jeremy with his intoxicated sister get out the car and up the stairs, you now sat on the kitchen island with a bucket full of rocky road ice cream on your lap. The cravings for it’s chocolatey taste had hit you like no other. So there you were, sitting on top of the island, feet dangling off the edge with a carton of ice cream in your hands. It was such an embarrassing sight, but at that moment you were completely shameless.

You didn’t know if it was the buzz wearing off or your high calming down but… you’ll definitely say this was the best rocky road ice cream you have possibly eaten. The amount of times you’ve eaten the same ice cream can never compare to this moment right here, it just tasted amazing. Like nothing you’ve ever had before, but again, it was just your hunger getting the best of you.

As you placed another spoonful of ice cream in your mouth, a satisfied groan slips from you as you enjoy the taste, yet opening your eyes they immediately land on Jeremy. Who was standing in the entrance of the kitchen with a dark look in his eyes. A small smirk starts to spread around the spoon that still rested in your mouth at an idea you have. With a devilish smile, you slowly pull out the utensil, making sure to lick your lips without breaking eye contact. From where you sat on the island and little light coming from the hallway, you can make out the way his entire frame grows stiff, hands curled into fists by his side as his eyes focus on you.

“You want some?” You ask with a innocent smile,

Narrowing his eyes with a small smile tugging on his lips, he makes his way towards you. Grabbing the carton and spoon from your hands, he dips it inside before pulling it back out. Without breaking eye contact, which you noticed is becoming hard to do, he closes his lips around the spoon. You watch as he too slowly drags it out from his mouth, teasing you just the way you were not even two seconds ago, however, as he drags the metallic utensil against his lower lip, leaving a drop of chocolate ice cream, and you not being able to control yourself no longer when the son of a bitch licks his own lips was enough for you to push aside the voice.

As if on impulse, you grab the back of his head and bring him down towards your lips. Which he doesn’t hesitate to react back. The taste of chocolate rests on his tongue as you explore his mouth. The ice cream carton long forgotten on the side of the island. Jeremy’s hands settle on either side of your hips as he brings you closer to the edge as he quickly settles in between your legs. The kiss quickly escalates, feeling the way his hands had traveled down to your bottom while his lips now lavished the side of your neck. This was what you’ve been waiting for, craving for, but before you can take it to the next level the sound of the front door shutting makes you both jump out of your skins.

In less than a second you both part away from each other, him taking a large step back while you hop off the counter. You glance at one another, taking in each other’s presence before quickly picking up the spoon from the floor that was dropped at some point during the heated make out session, but just as you rise from the floor and look forward you notice Jeremy was no longer in the kitchen. He had covered the bucket of ice cream before leaving the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

A million questions raced in your mind that you couldn’t answer them properly, mostly because you didn’t know how to answer them. Whatever happened—happened and that alone brought a childlike smile on your face as you replay the moment over and over in your mind. You’ve always wondered what those lips felt like, what his hands would feel like around your hips, on your skin, how it’d feel to be underneath his weight, however that didn’t happen.

Guess it wasn’t meant to be. Yet.

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- Hope Ya’ll Enjoyed This One!! Wanted to Give Ya’ll Something To Read Meanwhile I Finish an Upcoming Fic I’ve Been Working On These Last Few Days!

-If You’re Curious About It, Make Sure To Turn On Post Notifications!! 🔔 For More Updates!!

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#marvel #marvel x you #marvel x oc #marvel x female reader #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel cinematic universe #marvel smut #jeremy renner #Jeremy Renner x reader #Jeremy Renner x OFC #Jeremy Renner x Female Reader #clint barton #clint barton x reader

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kairbun · 10 months

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[3]"The Forgotten Experiment"

Vanessa Shelly x Hybrid bunny!Fem reader

Description: One rainy night, Y/N is able to escape from the lab where she has been held as a test subject for most of her life. Drenched and alone in the dark and stormy night, she makes a run for it, searching for shelter.

By chance she stumbles upon an abandoned, old building that was once called "Freddy Fazbear's", and takes refuge inside it. There she is found by Officer Vanessa, who soon realizes Y/N is no regular stray, and decides to help her and take her in.

Warning: panic attack-ish, Tears, stressed Y/N, hurt Y/N

Freddie stared at Vanessa for a few more moments before finally tilting his head slightly to the side. This was a common sign for him to express his confusion or uncertainty when communicating with Vanessa.

Vanessa looked at him, noticing his confusion and concern. She quickly realized she must have something to worry about.

"What do you want to tell me, Freddie?" she asked. She put down the pen she was holding and looked at Freddie carefully, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over her as her suspicions deepened.

Freddy backed away from the office, then looking back at Vanessa, he motioned with his animatronic hand for her to follow him into the kitchen. Sighing, Vanessa got up from the chair, which was starting to squeak due to its age, and followed Freddy. She instinctively placed her hand close to the thick belt where she kept her service weapon. Somehow, even though she was sure she was alone with the animatronics, she felt more alert. Maybe it was her years on the force, or maybe some small part of her sensed something was wrong. Either way, she wasn't going to let her guard down.

— Y/N Pov some time earlier —

I heard something metallic start to approach from the vent a few shelves away. With each reflection it became louder. My heart started pounding like after a marathon and the pupils in my eyes got bigger. After a while, something jumped out of the vent... wait, what is it?! It was as tall as a medicine ball and had a candle on its head. When he turned to face me, I noticed a large pair of two teeth and eyes. Okay?!? maybe... maybe this is another experiment of Mr. Frost... right?

I took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as I watched the strange creature jump around the kitchen. It seemed that it had not noticed me yet, which gave me some time to think about what I could do.

Suddenly, the creature stopped as if to listen to something. My heart raced as I thought that had been noticed. I heard it start moving towards me. It had not seen me yet, but it was close enough to hear my breathing. There was no time to waste. I had to act now.

As my instincts kicked in, my heart pounded in my chest and I felt every ounce of energy coursing through my veins. There was no time to waste. I could either try to escape and risk getting caught, or I could stay where I was and hope for the best.

With a sharp breath, I decided to run away. I jumped over the box I was hiding behind, avoiding something that was indescribable to me? creature?

As I ran towards the exit of the room, IT chased me. Unfortunately for me, I missed a turn and hit a large closet. The monster took advantage of the opportunity and jumped, trying to bite me, luckily I moved away in time, causing it to hit the cold metallic shelf. Taking my chances, I ran for the door. Delighted, I grabbed the door handle and froze when I saw another mutant in front of me... This time, bigger and yellow.

The fear in my body rose to an overwhelming level as another metal creature almost grabbed me. When I decided to run in the direction I came from, I noticed the same mutant with a candle. His eyes were so red and angry that my knees turned to jelly and I couldn't move.

With the last of my strength, I looked around and made a quick decision. I didn't have time to think about it, I had to act to survive. I turned around and headed back the way I came.

Keeping one foot in front of the other, I ran as fast as I could towards…

towards... freedom... escape... safety...

As I ran, my thoughts were racing. My legs hurt and my heart was beating rapidly. I felt like I was dreaming, but the metallic sounds that chased me were too real to be a dream.

Suddenly I stopped, looking up there was a window through which I entered the building. Quickly standing on the boxes, I could reach the window and was about to leave when suddenly something grabbed my leg.

The fear in my body skyrocketed as I looked down and saw the metallic yellow monstrosity. A cold shower washed over me as the creature tried to pull me towards it with all its might.

I tried to break free, but it held me so tightly that it would have broken my leg. With all its might, the creature tried to pull me back into the building. This was too much for me.

I screamed in desperation, staring at the creature pulling at my leg, trying to keep me in the building. She couldn't believe that she had almost made it and that something had stopped her from her sweet freedom.

"Let me go!" I screamed in despair, desperately wanting the creature to understand. "I am begging you!"

Suddenly I felt my hands slipping off the windowsill due to the rain falling through the window. The wetness made my hands wet and I fell onto the cold, dirty and hard floor.

My body ached from the fall and the air was leaving my lungs. I lay still for a few moments, trying to collect myself. The rain falling from the window made the floor and my clothes wet and dirty.

Tears and pain slowly filled my eyes as unwanted memories began to flood back. Painful, suffering moments in the Laboratory. It was as if they had been bottled up inside and were being released in a flood of torment and anguish.

#🐇vanessa shelly #vanessa shelly #fnaf movie #writing #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #Vanessa shelly x hybrid! fem reader #Vanessa shelly x fem reader

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sarahisgay01 · 2 years

Note

Can you do a fruity four oneshot/imagine where they notice reader start to get anxious then reader has an anxiety attack which leads to reader passing out? And then they take care of reader because it really worried them. (At home)

I've asked so many people this and none of them have done it so.

Yes!! I’ve been wanting to write some fluffy stuff and this is right up my alley cause I’ve been anxious asf lately.

You’re Not What You Think You Are

Fruity Four x Reader

Angst and Fluff

Trigger Warning: Anxious behaviors, dissociating, flashbacks, verbal parental abuse, panic attack, passing out

It’s Wednesday and you already want this week to be over. Your entire family is out of town on vacation and you had to stay home because of school. You hate being alone, it not only makes you depressed, but it also makes your anxiety much worse. Normally, you’d ask one of your friends to stay with you, at least for a night or two while your family’s gone, but each of them has their own stuff going on. You don’t want to bother them, between their jobs and school, you can’t imagine how stressed they are. School isn’t helping your anxiety and depression either, not at all. So far, you’ve had at least one test each day this week, with another one tomorrow and a project due Friday that you’re only a quarter of the way done with. You’re so overwhelmed, but the only person aware of that, is you. None of your friends know because you don’t want to trouble them with your problems. You’d never mention this to your parents, they’d only make you feel worse. So, you decided that this is your battle to fight and you’ll manage it alone. You’re currently at school, sitting in your chemistry class, taking a test. Suddenly, the lunch bell rings, signaling your time is up. In shock, you look up at the clock in the classroom and the time proves that it wasn’t a false bell, class was actually over. You’re on the second to last question and you realize that you’re not going to finish. Everyone else in your class is standing up, backpacks on, and handing their tests to your teacher. Once the last student leaves, the teacher finally notices you in the back corner of the classroom. He notices that you’re rushing to write things down and says, “Y/N, I’m sorry, but I need your test.” You look up at him with tears in your eyes. A lump forms in your throat as you’re trying not to cry. You ask him, “Mr. Johnson, can I please just have five more minutes? Please?” His eyes soften and he says, “(Y/N), I’m sorry. I wish I could, but it wouldn’t be fair to the other students.” As much as you hated his response, you knew he was right. You stand up, throw your backpack over your shoulder, then walk over to him and hand him your test with your head down. He says, “(Y/N), I’m truly sorry you weren’t able to finish” and you can tell by his tone that he was being sincere. You weren’t able to look at him because you were trying your best not to cry. A mumbled, “It’s okay” leaves your mouth, before you leave the classroom and head directly to the bathroom. You immediately head to the big stall, then lock its door behind you. Tears are rolling down your cheeks as you’re taking deep breaths, attempting to calm yourself down. A couple minutes after, you stop crying, then leave the stall and look in the mirror. Your eyes and face are a little red, but other than that, you looked fine. You left the bathroom and made your way towards the cafeteria, acting like nothing happened.

When you enter the cafeteria, you see your friends eating at their normal lunch table. You walk over to them and they all greet you while you sit down. Nancy’s sitting beside you, Robin’s sitting in front of her, and Eddie is sitting across from you. Eddie says, “(Y/N), we were about to go looking for you, what took you so long?” You reply, “I just had to go to the bathroom, that’s all” and they nod. Nancy turns to you and says, “You just had your chemistry test, right? How’d that go?” Immediately, you start feeling a pain in your chest and the lump in your throat returns, but you’re determined to fight it off. You say, “I did, yeah. It was fine”, that may have been your response, but all three of them could tell something was off. None of them wanted to push you though, so Nancy just said, “Well, that’s good, I think. You’re really smart, so I’m sure you did well.” All you could manage to respond with was a slight nod, not making eye contact with any of them. That was all the confirmation they needed to know that something was definitely wrong. Immediately, you think to yourself, “If I was smart, I would have finished the test” and the pain in your chest starts to hurt more. Robin’s the first to say something, she asks, “(Y/N), is something wrong?” You can feel three pairs of eyes staring at you, awaiting your response. You shake your head and say, “No, I’m okay. What were you guys talking about before I came over?” Robin replies, but you’re so in your head, that you can’t comprehend what she’s saying. You think to yourself, “I’m a liar.” The three of them go back to their conversation, hoping that you’ll join in, but you don’t. You can hear them talking, but none of their words are processing through your brain. More thoughts form and they’re coming at you a mile a second, eating you alive. You’re just sitting there, staring at a chip in the table. You’re completely zoned out, but it feels a hundred times worse than usual. You have no idea what’s happening and you feel like you’re in a movie. The pain in your chest hasn’t gone away and neither has the lump in your throat. The pain is the only thing making you feel like you’re real. You start to feel yourself getting dizzy, but you ignore it. As your brain continues to focus on your thoughts, your chest starts to feel tight and the lump in your throat is making you feel like you can’t breathe. Then, the chip in the table you’ve been staring at has been blocked by a hand that’s waving in front of your face. It’s big and has callouses on the finger tips with several metal rings on its knuckles. You’re so zoned out that it takes you a few seconds to realize Eddie is waving his hand in front of your face. He says in a playful tone, “(Y/N). Hellooooo, earth to, (Y/N).” You blink harshly, squeezing your eyes shut for a few seconds and shake your head a few times. When you open your eyes and look at him, you mumble, “Sorry.” His eyes soften and he asks, “Are you sure you’re okay?” You can feel Robin and Nancy looking at you, also wanting to make sure you’re okay. You lie to them for the second time and say, “Mhmmm. I’m fine, I’m just tired. Don’t worry.” Eddie nods, even though he doesn’t believe you and you keep repeating the word “Liar” in your head. It’s interrupted by Eddie tapping you and he says, “We wanted to know if you’re free on Saturday? We were talking about hanging out at Steve’s. Just us three and Steve, of course. Nothing crazy either, we’ll probably just watch some movies and hang out.” You reply, “That sounds good, I’ll be there” and Eddie says, “Okay, great!” Then, the three of them start talking again. As soon as their attention is no longer on you, you start to zone out again.

Your thoughts come rushing back to you, this time harsher than before. There were so many before, but now the same ones keep cycling back, like they’re stuck on a loop. “If you tell them what’s wrong, you’ll worry them”, “You’ll be a burden”, “You don’t want to be a burden, do you?”, “You’re a liar”, “You’re dumb”, “You’re going to fail your test tomorrow”, “You’re not going to be able to finish your project by Friday”, “You should’ve finished that test”, and “You’re pathetic” keep repeating, over and over again. Then, flashbacks of your parents screaming, “You’re pathetic” and “You’re a failure” to you, play in your mind like it happened just a few minutes ago. You start to feel the pain in your chest getting much worse and the lump in your throat makes you feel like you can no longer breathe. You’re on the verge of tears, but you remind yourself where you are. You quickly stand up, throw your backpack over your shoulder, and dart to the bathroom. Luckily for you, it was empty again, so you return to the big stall and lock its door behind you. You immediately start bursting into tears and lean up against the painted brick wall of the bathroom. Too overwhelmed to care about how dirty the floor is, you just slide down, until your butt hits the floor. Your knees are at your chest and you curl yourself up into a ball while crying. The flashbacks of your parents screaming at you are on replay in your mind. You put your hands over your ears and keep mumbling “stop”, over and over again. They continue playing, their voices are all you can hear and their faces are all you can see. The lump in your throat becomes unbearable and it starts to feel like you’re suffocating. Your chest feels extremely tight and it’s making it feel impossible for you breathe. You start hyperventilating and seconds later, the door to the bathroom swings open. Your eyes are fluttering open and shut, but you see a pair of red converse with doodles on them, followed by a pair of black flats. It’s Robin and Nancy. They hear crying and hyperventilating, but if they’re saying anything, you can’t hear it. All you can hear are your parents’ voices. You watch as Nancy ducks her head down to look underneath the stalls. Apparently, she can recognize you by your shoes and pants. She comes running over to the big stall and tries to open it, but realizes you locked it. Before she can even think about breaking down the door, Robin lays on her backpack and slides underneath the stall door. She sees you hyperventilating with your hands over your ears, your body shaking and you’re aggressively shaking your head side-to-side. Robin quickly unlocks the stall door for Nancy and rushes over to you first. She sits beside you and puts her leg against yours in attempt to ground you, but you’re too far gone. You stop shaking your head as your eyes start taking longer flutters. You’re trying to resist passing out and you keep jerking your head up every time your eyes are closed too long. Nancy quickly makes her way into the stall and kneels down in front of you. That’s all you remember before everything goes black.

You passed out, falling into Robin, who extends her legs and moves your head onto her lap. She starts freaking out and rambling, “Nance, what are we going to do? I don’t know what to do! I knew something was wrong, I knew it! Why wouldn’t they tell us that whatever was going on was this bad? Cause this is bad. Clearly, very very bad.” Nancy says, “Robin, I need you to calm down, so I can think. Okay? They’re going to be fine.” Robin nods, takes a deep breath, and says, “Okay. Okay. Yeah, I can do that. Totally. I can totally do that.” Nancy starts pacing and a minute later, she says, “Okay. Steve’s at home, right?” Robin thinks for a second and replies, “Yeah, we don’t work today at all. Why?” Nancy says, “Okay, that’s perfect. The plan is, you’re going to stay here with (Y/N), while I go call Steve. He’s going to come pick you and (Y/N) up, then the three of you are going to go back to his house. After I call Steve, I’m going to find Eddie and we’re going to meet you guys at Steve’s.” Robin takes a few seconds to process everything and replies, “Okay, sounds good. Now go!” Nancy quickly makes her way to the school’s phone and calls Steve. The phone rings a few times before he answers. He says, “This is the Harrington residence, Steve Harrington speaking how-”, but Nancy cuts his greeting short. She says, “Steve! I need you to come to the school ASAP. (Y/N) had a panic attack and passed out.” He says, “Nance? Wait, what? I’ll be there in 10 are they okay?” and Nancy replies, “I don’t know, but they’re with Robin in the bathroom. I’m going to go find Eddie and we’ll meet you at your house. Sound good?” Steve says, “Yeah, I’ll be there as fast as I can” and Nancy says, “Thank you”, before Steve hangs up the phone. She runs back to the cafeteria and as soon as she enters, the bell rings. Nancy can see Eddie’s mane of hair and immediately runs over to him. He sees how stressed she looks and asks, “Everything good, Wheeler?” and Nancy replies, “Robin and I found (Y/N) in the bathroom crying, then they passed out. They’re with Robin now and I called Steve. He’s on his way right now to pick the two of them up. You’re riding with me and we’re going to Steve’s.” He says, “Dammit! I knew they weren’t okay!” and the two of them start quickly walking towards the parking lot. Eddie asks, “Did (Y/N) say anything before passing out?” and Nancy says, “Not that I know of. They locked themself in the big stall, so Robin slid under and got in there first. She unlocked the door for me and I quickly kneeled in front of them. Only a couple seconds later, they passed out, falling into Robin’s shoulder.” He replies, “I wish they would have said something. I’d drop everything to make sure they’re okay” and Nancy says, “Me too. We all would.” The two of them make it out to the parking lot and wait for Steve. A couple minutes later, he pulls in at an alarming speed and hops out of the car like it’s on fire. He looks at Eddie and Nancy, then says, “Which bathroom are they in?”, his eyes and tone showing just how worried he is. Nancy replies, “East. The one closest to the cafeteria” and then he was gone. As soon as he heard everything, Steve was sprinting into the building, while Eddie and Nancy waited in the parking lot until everyone returned.

Steve was running through the school hallways until he came across the bathroom. He knocked before he walked in and said, “Robin?” She replied, “Steve! Steve, come in! Come in!” and he barged through the bathroom. He ran over to the big stall and stopped as soon as he saw your head on Robin’s lap. You were still unconscious and Robin had tears in her eyes. He said, “Okay, let me pick her up and while we walk back to my car, please tell me what the hell happened?” and Robin replied, “Okay. Of course, yeah. Of course.” Steve picks (Y/N) up with ease and Robin opens the bathroom door for him. As they’re walking, Robin says, “Okay, I- I have no idea what’s really going on with (Y/N), but this is what happened. They came over to us at lunch and something was obviously wrong, but Eddie, Nancy, and I didn’t want to push them to say anything they didn’t want to. We were all talking and then, out of nowhere, they just got up and ran away. Nance and I went to look for them, cause we of course were worried, cause they wouldn’t just run off like that for no reason, you know? Anyway, we entered the bathroom and heard crying, but nobody would respond. We looked underneath the stalls and found them curled up in a ball, locked in the big stall. I slid underneath it, then unlocked the door for Nance. A couple seconds after she entered, (Y/N) passed out.” Steve said, “I really wish they would have told at least one of us what was happening. They know we care, right? I care about them so much.” A couple tears fall and roll down Robin’s cheeks. With her voice quivering she says, “We all- We all do.” He looks at her with soft eyes and nods, wishing he could hug her. They’re about to leave the school and Robin starts wiping her tears away. She opens the door for Steve and they start walking to the parking lot. Nancy and Eddie come running up to them and Nancy asks, “They haven’t woken up yet?” Both Steve and Robin respond shaking their heads no, making both of them more anxious than they were. Eddie starts fidgeting with his rings and Nancy start biting her lip while pacing. Nancy stops her pacing, takes a deep breath, and says, “It’ll be okay. We need to get them back to Steve’s though. So, uh- okay. Okay, I got it. Robin, sit in the back of Steve’s car for me. The three of us are going to get (Y/N) situated in the back with you. Their head is going to be on your lap again and I’m going to need you to, you know, protect their body while Steve drives. Sound good?” As Robin starts moving towards the backseat of Steve’s car, she says, “Yeah, I got it Nance.” She sits in the back and puts her seatbelt on, then Nancy, Eddie, and Steve, work on getting (Y/N) into the backseat. Once (Y/N)’s situated in the backseat, Steve gets in the driver seat and starts the car. Meanwhile, Eddie and Nancy are quickly making their way to Nancy’s car. Steve drives off and Nancy leaves only a minute or two after them. Robin started tearing up in the backseat as she ran her fingers through your hair. Steve heard sniffles and looked through his rear view mirror. His eyes soften again and he says, “Rob, it’s gonna be okay. They’re gonna wake up and everything’s going to be fine.” She replies, “Yeah, I know. I’m just worried about them, cause why wouldn’t they tell us? And I don’t want to bombard them with questions when they wake up, but I want to know. I want to know what’s going on, everything.” Tears start rolling down her cheeks again and Steve says, “I know, Rob. I know. We’re all worried and we all want to know. We’ll figure everything out once they wake up and we’ll help them the best we can, that’s all we can do.” Robin nods her head while wiping her tears away with one hand, the other still combing through your hair. By the time everyone arrives to Steve’s house, you’re still unconscious. Steve turns off his car and throws his keys to Nancy. She quickly unlocks and opens his door, while Steve maneuvers you off of Robin’s lap. He picks you up and carries you inside, then places you on the couch, with your head resting on some pillows.

Robin, Eddie, and Nancy are in the kitchen, anxiously waiting for you to wake up. Steve gets you a glass of water and puts it on the coffee table beside you for when you wake up. Afterwards, he joins the others in the kitchen, also anxiously waiting. Around five minutes after arriving at Steve’s, the four of them hear grumbling. They look over to see you stretching and when you opened your eyes, you looked very confused. Everyone quickly came into Steve’s living room and as you were sitting up, you asked, “What- What happened? Why am- Why am I at Steve’s?” Nancy sat beside you and said, “You were having a panic attack when Robin and I found you. Around a minute later, you passed out and you’ve been out for probably 30 minutes now. I called Steve and he picked you up, while Robin stayed with you in the backseat. Eddie and I followed them here, since we both wanted to be here when you woke up. Are you okay?” Immediately everything started coming back to you and you said, “You guys didn’t have to do all that for me. I’m fine.” Nancy put her hand on your knee and said, “(Y/N), we care about you and we want to help you.” Eddie sits on the other side of you and when you look into his eyes, you immediately feel a rush of guilt. His normal sweet eyes, now look like a sad puppy and you know it’s because of you. You immediately break eye contact with him and mumble an, “I’m sorry.” Eddie wraps his arm around you and that’s all it takes before you turn your head into his chest, then break down. He puts his other arm around you and wraps you in a tight embrace, while Nancy lightly scratches your back. Steve sits down beside Eddie and Robin sits beside Nancy, all four of them watching you break down and sob. Eddie and Nancy have been whispering sweet things to you, trying their best to calm you down. After a while, you stop crying and you move back to your original position, then look at everyone. You look at Eddie first and say, “I’m sorry I broke down in your arms, Eds. I don’t kn-” He interrupts you and says, “Don’t apologize for that. That’s what I’m here for. No no, that’s what we’re all here for. (Y/N), we care about you and we’d do anything for you, anything.” Steve chimes in and says, “I don’t care what I’m doing, I would drop anything if you needed me. We care about you so much, (Y/N).” Robin nods her head and says, “Really we do. You mean a lot to me (Y/N). You mean a lot to us.” You nod your head and Nancy says in the sweetest voice imaginable, multiplied by 1000, “Can you tell us what’s wrong, please?” You reply, “Y- Yeah. I’m just a little ner- nervous.” Nancy nods and says, “Take your time, there’s no rush.” You nod and take a deep breath, then notice the glass of water in front of you. You grab the glass and chug it like you’ve never had water before, then Steve takes the empty glass from you. As he gets up to go refill it, you take deep breaths until he comes back.

Steve returns with a full glass of water and places it on the coffee table before sitting back down again. You take a deep and say, “Okay. So um- I didn’t tell any of you, but my parents- they’re uh- out of town. They left me home alone and I hate being alone. I would’ve asked one of you to stay with me, but I didn’t want to um- b- bother you guys. I know school and work has to be stressful, so I didn’t want to bur-” and Robin interrupts you. Her voice is a little shaky as she says, “(Y/N), no. Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You never bother us, ever and asking for help when you need it, is okay. That’s what we’re here for. You’re not a burden and you never will be.” A few tears rolls down her face and you say, “Th- Thank you, Robs.” She nods and you continue, “So, I haven’t been slee- sleeping and that’s even if I’ve had time to. I’ve had so many tests this week, I have one tomorrow I need to study for and I have a project on Friday I’m nowhere near done with. I had my chemistry test today and I-” You pause and inhale shakily.

Steve refills the glass and puts it back on the coffee table. Once he’s sat back down, you say, “Okay. So I’ve been really stressed this week. I didn’t uh- I didn’t tell any of you, but my family went on vacation and left me home alone. I really hate being- being alone, but I didn’t want to b- bother you guys. I know- I know you’ve all been str- stressed too, so I didn’t want to add- add onto it. I haven’t been slee- sleeping well and that’s if I’ve even had time to. I’ve had a test every- every day this week and my chemistry test today, I-” You pause and take a deep breath. Eddie puts his hand on your leg and says, “It’s okay. We’re here.” Nancy gently grabs your hand and rubs her thumb across your knuckles. You take another deep breath before continuing, “My chemistry test, I- I didn’t f- f- finish it. I had two questions left and I ran- I ran out of time. It made me feel like I’m a f- f-” and a few tears fall. Nancy gently wipes them away and squeezes your hand. Then, she says, “It’s okay, (Y/N). Breath for me. Take your time.” You take a deep breath and say, “It made me feel like a f- failure and like I’m pa- pathetic. My parents used to- they used to scream it at me when I was a kid if I didn’t get good grades. I was having um- flashbacks when Nancy and Robin found me. But um- tomorrow I have another test and Friday I have a project due that I’m nowhere near done with. I’m just- I’m so overwhelmed and I don’t- I don’t know what to do.” Everyone can tell that you’re starting to get really anxious again, so before you can even start to spiral, everyone finds a way to ground you. Nancy continues holding your hand and rubbing her thumb across your knuckles. Eddie puts his arm back around you and when he does, Steve notices a lighter in his pocket. He steals it out of Eddie’s pocket and lights the scented candle on the coffee table. Last but not least, Robin moves to sit on the floor in front of you, then starts tracing different shapes and patterns on different areas of your legs. Once they’ve noticed you’re more grounded, Steve says, “(Y/N), you know you’re never bothering us if you ask for help, never. I would stay at your house for a whole month if you needed me to. I truly don’t mind.” You watch as everyone else nods their heads and you say, “I just- I didn’t- I didn’t want to be a bur- burden.” Robin says, “(Y/N), no. Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. You aren’t and you’ll never be a burden to me or to any of us. Never never think that about yourself because it’s simply not true.” Everyone nods in agreement again and you say, “But with-” and Eddie interrupts you. He says, “No buts, you are not a burden and you’re not an inconvenience to any of our lives. We want to help you and be there for you, so something like what happened today, doesn’t happen again. You’re not alone, (Y/N). Your battles are our battles too, okay?” You start to tear up again and you mumble, “O- Okay.” Eddie wraps both his arms around you, this time in an awkward side hug. He squeezes you tight before letting his other arm fall back by his side again.

You have a smile on your face, feeling so loved and appreciated by everyone around you. Nancy says, “(Y/N), please don’t let what your parents have said to you in the past get to you. You’re so smart, you’re not a failure and definitely not pathetic. Please please know that.” Your eyes soften and you say, “Thank you guys, that’s all really sweet.” Everyone smiles and Eddie says, “(Y/N), I know you don’t want to be alone tonight and I’d be happy to stay with you, if you want” and Steve says, “You’re also more than welcome to crash here if you don’t want to go home.” You reply, “Thank you both. I do want to go home though cause I have to study and work on my project.” Steve nods, then Nancy chimes in and says, “(Y/N), I can help you study tonight if you want.” Your eyes widen and she giggles, then says, “Not how I normally study, you’ve been through enough today. We’ll just make flashcards based off your notes and I’ll quiz you.” Robin says, “And while you guys are studying, I can help you with your project. You’ll just need to explain it to me and stuff, but I’m sure I can help.” You say, “You guys really don’t have to, I’ll be okay. Really, I will.” Robin replies, “We know we don’t have to, we want to.” You smile and say, “Thank you guys, I don’t know what I’d do without you. How about everyone comes over and we can all have a sleepover?” You look over at Eddie and Steve, then say, “I do have to study though, which, as we’re all aware, is not your guys’ strong suits.” Both boys hold a hand to their chest, acting offended. Steve says, “(Y/N), I’m hurt!” with a pout on his face, forcing it not to break into a smile. You giggle and Eddie says, “Me too!” Everyone starts laughing and you say, “I’m sorry, geeeeez” while giggling. You continue on and say, “Everyone can come, let’s just relax here for a little bit first.” Everyone nods and Nancy says, “Thank you for trusting us and telling us everything. We love and care about you.” She squeezes your hand and you smile, then reply, “I love and appreciate you guys more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for everything.” As you sit there, with the four of them surrounding you, you realize that there’s no place you’d rather be. The four of them make you feel more loved then anyone ever has in your entire life. Your smile grows wider as you finally feel what it’s like to be 100% loved and appreciated by not only one person, but four.

I hope you liked this!!🥺💖

#stranger things #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #eddie munson #the fruity four #the fruity four x reader #stranger things fluff

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cloudninetonine · 2 years

Note

3rd and final part of Legend and Player’s little adventure in the dungeon

—

Legend grunted, arms pulsing with exhaustion as he carried your unconscious body. The dungeon the two of you had found yourselves in was long behind on the winding road, now Legend was marching forward, racked with shivers from the wet clothing pressed against his skin.

It was unfortunately dark out, the occasional whistling breeze threatened to turn the veteran into a living snowman at every caress of the skin. Thankfully, the two of you were slowing drying, though he wasn’t particularly looking forward to the wrinkled state of his garments later.

Unconsciously, Legend pressed you closer to his chest as your teeth chattered. A whimper escaped you, causing a wince in Legend. He couldn’t safely carry you and hold his fire rod for warmth, so they both just had to deal with the cold.

Legend had half the mind to just leave you there, in a muggy, dirty dungeon, probably to suffocate from face planting in the water. However, he had been too dead to the world, too anxiety stricken to think up such a dastardly plan and be rid of you and your insufferable presence in his life. Even now the thought didn’t come to him, not once did he look down at your soaked body and think of dark magic and strangled minds. All he could think about at the moment was the next step in front of him.

Suddenly, a voice caught his waning attention. He paused and listened carefully, hearing a hysterical yelling from somewhere far off to the side of the beaten dirt path.

He knew that voice.

A rush of euphoric adrenaline swamped his veins and stabbed his heart, he was jogging toward the voice before he could even think of the name that it belonged to.

The closer he got, the more he heard. Soon, a conversation reached him, or what actually sounded more like a quarrel.

“-Kay, that’s enough you two! Hyrule, Wild, I know you want to scream and yell in frustration, we’re well aware of your anger, but you two are going to attract the attention of something if you keep screeching into the night! The captain is without a weapon and we’re missing a good portion of our items, the last thing we need is a monster attack.” An even, sturdy voice commanded.

“We know that Time, but Legend and (Name) are both missing! That and we have all of Legend’s stuff, even if they are together they could be defenseless!” A more whimsical, albeit stressed, one argued.

“Well, they should have Time’s bag and Warriors’ sword, right?” Soft, feathery, and dreamy spoke out.

“Yeah! (Name) knows, like, everything about us, right? They should know how to use everything in there.” A young, familiarly grating voice.

“Oh yeah? And you expect Legend to trust them within a fifteen foot radius of Time’s stuff? He probably would assume the opposite of whatever they say an item can do!” Breathy, light, and electric, equally as stressed as the whimsical one.

“Guys, shush! I hear something.” A rippling and smooth accent hushed.

The sliding of metal could be heard, the sheathing of swords. A desperate breath choked out of Legend as his legs almost gave in at the familiar voices through the thick greenery. After what felt like a continuous slog of a run, Legend burst out of the thickets and into a medium sized clearing, inhaling and exhaling like his life depended on it.

“VETERAN?!” A chorus of voices sounded.

“Legend, you’re okay- oh Hylia!” Legend looked up to see the smallest hero, Four, closest to him. The smithy looked startled out of his mind, staring directly at the cargo in his arms.

“What happened to you? Is that (Name)?!” The captain came rushing forward, being the second closest and first to snap out of his stupor. “Why are you both sopping wet- are you two okay?”

Legend choked on his own spit, feeling hot and dizzy as he leaned to the side slightly. He numbly felt your body leave his grasp as distressed words rung distantly in his eardrums. The next thing he knew gravity was tilted on its head, a warm embrace caught him and then the darkness enveloped all else.

Blue globes cracked open, the fuzzy visage of beige greeted his sight. Blinking a few times languidly, the world focused in on soft blankets. The hero pushed himself up shakily with his arms, immediately regretting it as he felt his stomach churn with food he hadn’t yet stored inside.

“You’re awake.” Legend blinked at the sound of the old man’s deep tone. He turned his head and saw the scarred man pacing over to him with a steaming bowl and cup.

“You gave us quite the scare, we all had found each other early and were searching for you two all day. The champion and traveler in particular were losing their minds.” Time rumbled, getting on his knees to be level with the veteran.

Only a day? That dungeon escape mission felt like weeks.

Wait. Dungeon… found each other… you!

His head spun around, his eyes were not feeling cooperative however and his vision immediately blurred from sudden swivel as the front of his brain clicked in protest.

“Where are they?” He mumbled, unable to focus.

The old man hummed. “Can’t see well, hmm? They’re resting as well. They already awoke once yet we’re unable to string together sentences, didn’t stop the cook from shoving broth down their throat, and I’m sure he’s coming to do the same to you too.”

Legend gulped, a little nervous to feel the wrath of the champion. Wild was downright feral when someone refused food, hadn’t eaten in awhile, or just looked the slightest bit thinner than usual.

“I’m dead, when he comes here tell him that I’ve died in my sleep.” Legend groaned and fell back to his pillow, neck creaking in protest.

“Mmm… no. You can actually speak coherently, gives us all the more reason to get some information out of you, we’re all curious about the disheveled states you two arrived in.” Torture. That’s what this was, torture. The old man was torturing him.

“I suggest you eat now before Wild notices you’re awake-“

“Hey guys, Legend’s awake!” Every swear under the sun entered Legend’s mind as Wind announced his awakening. Wild shot up from halfway across camp and came stalking over, like a wraith in the shadows. Hyrule was by his side, green healing magic glowing evilly in his palms.

“Shit.” Was what his brain decided on.

“Normally I would scold you for such language, but I do agree that, for you, this is quite the appropriate time for usage of the word. I’ll make sure to spill about your concern for the supposed ‘dark witch’.”

If he could, he would’ve sunken into the forest floor, never to be seen again. Sadly, the only thing that was being sunken was his hope.

—

Jejdndjd This ended up focusing more on the chain at the end, but I wasn’t sure how else to end it.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BB YOU REALLY ARE SERVING AND WE LOVE YOU FOR IT

THIS WAS AN AMAZING READ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR IT!!!

#cloud answers #bloodybloob #BB

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oathofpromises · 10 months

Note

"I'll never stop holding you tight." — Data to G'raha

G’raha leaned in, pressing his face against the icy windowpane, feeling the frigid air seep through his skin. The gentle pitter-patter of raindrops creating a soothing melody that filled the room. He tightly crossed his arms, fixated on the moon hanging in the sky, its radiant reflection shimmering in his captivating, crimson eyes. Glancing down, the mage took a moment to observe his hands, moving them with deliberate slowness. This body was still his own, but now infused with the soul and memories of the Exarch.

A surge of awe and fear washed over him, causing his breath to catch in his throat. His consciousness, now altered, revealed the vastness of his transformed self. The memories of his future identity fused within him, allowing him to relive the emotions and memories of being the Exarch. Time blended together, merging past and present, alternating between G’raha Tia and The Exarch. The sensation electrified him, yet an unsettling undercurrent sent shivers down his spine. He instinctively placed a hand on his chest, feeling a faint ache resonate within his heart. It was still him, but at the same time, so much was still taking some getting used to.

Despite experiencing the thrill of it all, he couldn’t shake off the unease that filled him. He was well aware that he couldn’t confide in anyone, not even those who had taken great risks to rescue him. At least, not at this moment. He had been secretive as the Exarch, and though he had good reasons for it, he couldn’t escape the overwhelming guilt that consumed him.

“I can’t believe how easily they welcomed me, even after all the lies I’ve told them for so long,” muttered G’raha, rubbing his forehead. His eyes showed signs of exhaustion from staying up late, constantly analyzing their current situation, especially Data’s condition. Night after night, the brunet returned with dark circles under his eyes, and the red-headed Miqo’te knew all too well that the Warrior of Light was once again pushing himself to the limit.

Slowly, G’raha rose from the window seat and made his way to the kitchen. Since he couldn’t find rest, he decided to prepare some soothing lavender tea to alleviate his stress. It was a blend that he often made for Data whenever the warrior experienced severe anxiety attacks, combined with the aftermath of the echo.

As G’raha stirred the tea, his eyes slowly closed, recalling the day when Data had first arrived. It had required an immense amount of magic and centuries of effort to devise a solution and prevent the Eighth Umbra Calamity. It was a future that the scholar had fervently wished to evade. The memory of learning about Data’s disappearance and the devastating loss of numerous people due to Black Rose still weighed heavily on his heart.

The Exarch tightened his grip on his staff as he hurriedly descended the tower steps. The summoning had been successful, but unfortunately, it hadn’t brought Data to the desired location. Now, he would have to figure out how to explain to Lyna, his adopted daughter, why yet another stranger had appeared here. The people of this place were unaccustomed to outsiders, and it was crucial not to add any unnecessary stress to their lives.

Still, he continued to tell lies in order to conceal the truth. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make to prevent the undesirable future from becoming a reality. Coming to a halt, the Exarch felt a surge of excitement as he laid eyes on the brunet, causing a small smile to appear on his face.

He is still so beautiful…

The Exarch questioned if he had the right to think that way. Centuries had passed for him, but for Data, only a short time had elapsed since the tower was sealed. On their last night together, it was difficult to hide his intentions but sealing the tower was something only G’raha Tia could accomplish - a purpose.

After they had gone their separate ways, Data went to his room to rest, while the Exarch retreated to the Ocurlar. As soon as he entered the room, his legs gave way, causing him to lean against the door for support. He reached up and let his hood fall down his shoulders, running his hand through his hair. Crimson hues caught sight of the crystal mirror, stirring up a multitude of emotions within him. It had been centuries since the Exarch had allowed himself to feel, to reminisce about the man who effortlessly stole his heart.

“I apologize, Data... if you end up hating me for this, I can endure that.. But I cannot bear the thought of a future where you cease to exist. I simply won’t accept it,” murmured the Exarch, rising slowly to his feet. From the moment he had summoned Data, his decision had been made. He was willing to sacrifice his own life to save this world and the man he loved. The mages greatest sorrow was knowing the pain that awaited the brunet.

G’raha's eyes fluttered open, startled by the sensation of two arms encircling him from behind. As he turned, a smile emerged on his face, and he tenderly pressed his lips against the top of Data's head. In a tender gesture, he turned his body and embraced the other, their foreheads meeting in a gentle and loving touch.

“Welcome home my star. I apologize for not being right by your side," murmured G'raha, while he sensed Data's tail encircle his waist, drawing them even closer. With a soft touch, the brunet combed his fingers through his fiery red hair, admiring its vibrant hue, before meeting gaze of crimson.

'Your mind wandered back to your days as Exarch, didn't it? Raha…I will say it as many times as needed, but I’ll never stop holding you tight...’

Was he really that easy to read? Then again, Data always had a knack for sensing another person's feelings, even if he struggled with managing his own. G’raha's ears drooped slightly as he nodded.

"Yes...I just...I know we are together, but the weight of guilt for the pain you endured lingers in my mind. I put you through so much..made you even believe that G’raha Tia wasn’t there.”

The sound of their breaths mingled in the air as G'raha's eyes widened, feeling the gentle touch of Data's hand as they lovingly brushed a strand of hair away before their lips met. This feeling was unfamiliar to the red head, especially in their role as the Exarch. Throughout countless centuries, he had lived his life devoid of such tender affections. Yes, he had Lyna and cherished their bond, but this yearning was for a deeper, more intimate connection. Something that only one man had been able to give him, and yet he couldn't help but feel guilty for such wishes.

“Tis not a simple thing to forget everything. I know you love me, as I care for you, but we haven't had a chance to discuss your feelings. I want to hear it...all the feelings.” whispered G’raha, as he cupped the brunet face before leaning in and pressing their lips together again, his own tail wrapping around the brunet waist.

Through the passage of time, my love for you has only grown stronger...you are the treasure I cherish. The person I yearn to be near no matter what. The man that taught me to reach out my hand and take that leap.

#— ❛❛ // G'RAHA TIA ¦ I will tell you a tale ・「Threads」#— ❛❛ // DATA MOCHI ¦ You are my Star the one I never want to lose ・「diademreigned」#— ❛❛ // DATA MOCHI & G’RAHA TIA ¦DYNAMIC・「Across time and space you have always been my always」#ooc: I am sorry this took a bit..Stella and Hiroto had the braincell but here take some fruity cat men and their feelings #Trying get G'raha voice down more so hopefully this sounds like him..wanted focus on how he feels during that time for data and everything

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ventcode · 2 years

Text

I just wanna kinda,, ramble, I guess, so many thoughts on my mind, and I never really ramble on purpose (it's mostly an accidental thing..) so.

my shoulder still hurts kinda. it all hurts alot, actually. i don't know why. no matter what i do. ive stopped bringing it up over and over again though. nobody seems to quite listen. some streches, but the pain only subsides for a little bit.

im hungry, but i ate food all day yesterday. seems no matter how much i eat lately, ill still be hungry, and if i dont eat im starving, it makes my stomach feel horrible, the six and kyoko brain mix surely isn't helping.

im listening to my theme, six's theme part II, it's been calming me down, ive been humming along, im just making sure i dont have another panic attack, it surely does help, afterall its calmed me down before, as six. im not surprised it still helps now.

i keep having to change my shirt, it gets uncomfortable too much, its quite annoying, i put on deodorant too but it seems to wear off and it becomes uncomfortable again, maybe i just need to shower tomorrow (today? i don't count it as the next day until i wake up that morning.), that must be the case, im just not clean.

speaking of, its annoying but i seem to always need reminders to do stuff, or i dont take care of myself and do my own thing, with the food thing its gotten better since im always really hungry lately, so the first thing i try to do when i have time is eat food. but with the other stuff of taking care of myself, i seem to neglect it. showering. cleaning my room (i havent done that in MONTHS). drinking water. brushing my teeth. laundry stuff. i always need reminders. but i cant get reminders from my parents. "you're 14, you need to remember this stuff", and if I set a reminder on my phone, I always swipe away the notification and forget about it without fail. it's annoying. i hate that.

I miss my fort from last year, my matress on the ground next to the window, my tv there, just. ofc it neglected the rest of my room but. i miss my own little space there. it was from a calmer time. it had problems like bugs (i found a cockroach crawling on the tv once at night), but otherwise, everything else was okay, i miss just. i miss that, i guess. maybe I should use that tv again, it still works, just not my PS4, the Wii U works though, so, maybe I'll try that.

I think about holding your hand alot, anywhere, I don't really care where it is, but lately I just. have the feeling it'd be nice to just hold your hand, like you're there with me, I've just been holding onto that pillows sleeve more and more, like im holding onto your hand, it keeps the comfort, it helps just a little, I wish it was real, I want to hold your hand. When we meet, I don't think I'll let go of it. ^^"

My dreams have all been,, upsetting as of late, probably because of my anxieties before I go to bed. it sucks, it gets me in a bad mood in the morning, but I'm trying not to lose my hope for atleast a better dream, if dreams reflect subconscious, then I just have to think good things before bed right? I surely try but, I don't know why they all end up bad, I have alot of bad days, but, during the evening, it gets a bit better, and then bad again, I don't know what's really been happening. A horrible nightmare, they're stressing me, but I need to stop thinking too hard on them, if I do, then nothing good is bound to happen.

I think of those bad opinions on me, I'm really no monster, I'm a traumatized 9 year old, a kid, a child, I'm little. I'm surviving in a world that's trying to kill me. I really just wanted to survive, that's all I wanted. sure I ate a nome and I ate the ladys fucking neck and probably did something else Im unaware of in source atm and didn't save those kids in the maw, but, I really am no monster. I swear and promise. I didn't want to be the "hero who saved the kids", I wanted out, to survive, cause I'm a fucking child. I wish everyone knew that. but who'd believe me, if anything, everyone else would think im crazy, that I'm not really six, that im most likely just delusional, and that upsets me. so I can't be honest. that's such a stupid reason but, yk, the anxieties. (fun not so fun fact! during those hunger pangs when i was playing the game and watching you play as well, my stomach felt like SHIT dude. </3)

Speaking of, depending on the ID, I hate referring to myself in 3rd person (unless im speaking in 3p at the time), it just bothers me and I feel separated from myself, and it hurts. with some its fine and others its not. and sometimes I fuck up, so I'll accidentally refer to myself in 1st person with an irl friend and they'll look confused, I mostly just go oops and correct myself but, god does it really hurt, alot. But I don't wanna be honest abt that since it's easier to just refer in 3rd. even I just do it out of habit, but it just gives me a bad feeling, like I'm not me, and the others aren't. the others. I don't know. maybe I just have issues and shit.

idk why but talking about that just reminded me of that time I met a double and got them banned from using tumblr. bro is that mad !!! but srsly I got like so mad in the dream and spam reported them and Tumblr was on my side and banned the account and ANY NEW ACCOUNTS THEY MADE. bro dream me is winning everyday (/lie im having frequent nightmares!! /silly)

it's hard to talk but also extremely easy to talk, the words come out but I don't want them to, like I don't really want to talk to anyone, of course I make my exceptions, if nobody could tell /silly but, idk, it feels meaningless to talk, I'd rather just. do stuff. not talk unless needed, but, when most your friends are online, you kind of need to talk most of the time, or nobody understands what you're saying, even on voice calls, not like I wanna have my camera on at all times (depending on the person), so, it's still useless, I don't exactly know what to do about this, I feel myself talking more and more even though I wanna talk less and less. oops I guess.

me and toaster talked, we're still friends, but we wont contact for awhile, or atleast not every day, i apologized, and so did he, i really do feel bad for acting like an asshole. but everything's okay now, and it'll all be okay.

seems im getting teary eyed writing,, all this, there's so much I'm saying, yet I say I wanna talk less, that's funny, isn't it? I've written so many thoughts down that it's been like 40 minutes at this point, that's funny, how much is really on my mind.

enjoy my thoughts and rambles, I know atleast one person will read this, waving!! sorry I ruined my sleep schedule again, I'll do better.. :')

Goodnight. ♡

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bnerdler · 1 year

Text

This week has been a really shitty week. This post is mostly just me venting. I'll be OK, im not looking for pity. I have a support system and coping strategies to sort myself out I just need to vent a little.

I moved on Thursday last week from my 1x1 apartment that was slowly draining me of money into my friends townhome which is going to half my living expenses. And that's great and all but my cat has extreme aggression and anxiety problems. He'd been getting medicated for it but he's got such a high drug tolerance that anything we give him we have to double the dosage for it to have the effect that the normal dose would have for a normal cat.

Needless to say, during the move on Thursday he broke out of the room I'd had him and my other cat in while I got my room set up. In the process of getting him back in the room and into the crate, he bit my hand and scratched up one of my roommates. We got him started on a short term sedation drug while we weighed the options over the weekend. He settled down enough to not be so scared he attacks me but just yowls for hours nonstop due to separation anxiety.

The vet thinks he might have a brain tumor which has caused the aggression. Even scared cats don't normally attack their owners. But I can't afford to get him brain scans to diagnose much less treatment if he does. Not to mention the off cha ce that it's not a tumor or that it is but treatment doesn't help. We've decided to drug the hell out of him. We upped the dosage of the anxiety meds he was already on, added in a secondary anxiety drug, and I'm slowly getting the rest of the stuff the vet suggested such as cbd oil, pheromone sprays, and the like. If it says "calming" on it im getting it. Its... only mildly helping so far but we've only been here a week and today is the last day of the sedation drug and we started the new anti-anxiety meds yesterday. I just really hope this works. I hope this is all worth it and gives me a cat that I love being around. That im not scared of. That I'm scared for.

Like on a scale of 1-10 how anxious are you, my cat is constantly living at a 10. He has no quality of living like that. He can't be around other people bc he will attack them. And he's just anxious and scared out of his mind all the time. So if this new action plan doesnt work... well I'll have to euthanize him. And I really really don't want to have to make that decision.

I got the news about all this on Monday and just sobbed for like 6 hours straight. And I still had to go to work.

It's been a shit week at work too. The boss man was having a gout flair up from stress so he's grumpy and in pain which has made him irritable and altogether unpleasant to be around. He's also been really paranoid bc of the stress. We have security cameras in the school which isn't a bad thing, we need to have them. But the fact that he watches the feed, purposely moved the camera over the front desk to monitor everything I do, calls me and asks me what I'm doing when I'm there alone. Like yesterday the spot where my cat bit me was feeling very sore, so I was icing it and he calls me and asks me what happened to my hand. And like it's not like I'm fucking around at work. I do my work I get my shit done. But it's the assumption that I am and that even when I'm alone, I'm still being watched and have to monitor myself. Like I was raised barely reformed jewish. I wasn't meant for this Christian guilt panopticon bullshit.

faked an emergency to go home early last night bc I just could not stand being around the boss man last night. I did not want to take class with him. I was already emotionally at my wits end and was not in the place to deal with him.

It's also the anniversary of my grandfather's passing. So just the reminder of oh yeah I buried my grandfather on this day 2 years ago sucks.

And then also there's the news about moonbin which is hitting me hard too. Like when jonghyun passed I didn't consider myself a shawol (I still dont). But there was a really long time where I couldn't listen to shinee's music. But with astro and moonbin? I've been an Aroha since day one. The day hide and seek came out, I listened to it nonstop. Their music helped me through some really dark times bc it was just impossible for me to be sad while listening to their music. And as shallow as it feels to say it, moonbin was my bias. He was also incredibly close in age to me. He was born only a week before I was so that just makes it hit different. I know that one day I will be able to listen to Astros music again and feel joy but I don't know how long that will take.

And this weekend is my boyfriend and my roommates birthday but I don't know how I'm supposed to go out clubbing with them when all I want to do is stare at a wall and not think. Like my social and emotional batteries are just drained. I really don't want to have to perform being a person. Just for 24 hours I need to turn off. Like you know when a computer is giving you problems? I feel like that like someone just needs to turn me off and then turn me back on after waiting 30 seconds.

It's just all this heavy things this week, all the grief and stress. Not to mention the kids I work with being absolutely off the rails too. They've been pushing every single button. And I just have no patience for it.

And on the one hand I want to channel all this emotion and grief into my writing, on the other hand I just want to not do anything. I'm like any minor inconvenience will set me off crying.

I'm also just living on the razors edge monetarily. I've got no savings, my credit card is maxed out, I've got bills to pay, and I don't get paid enough to cover it all. At the last apartment I was living paycheck to paycheck with barely enough to cover my most pressing bills: rent, utilities, food, gas. I had to put off buying new underwear for like 6 months bc I couldn't even afford the $10 for a pack of the cheap Walmart shit. I've also got some big bills happening right now. With the move I had to break my least which cost me. Getting into the new place I've got food costs bc I finished almost all of my staples before the move. I've got all this shit for my cat. I'm behind on my student loans. I'm behind on my membership for taekwondo. I'm going on a cruise in like 20 days and I need to have money for that. Afterwards is our tournament and I want to compete which costs money that i dont even know if I'll have. I'm just tired of living frugally not because I want to but because I have to.

I'm just tired.

So that's where I'm at lmao.

#ive got so much chores to do too #theres laundry to put away #and dishes to be done #cat litter to be cleaned #i think I'll come home early from work tonight again #i just need some time to reorganize myself #1 day to do nothing #and 1 day to put everything back together #but i #have to work today and tomorrow too #long post

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rawbins-undertale-blog · 3 years

Note

hey there again!!!

might i slide in this fine ask box with another HC request?

if yes, then could you please write some HCs where uf and ht sanses and papyruses (seperate of course) s/o gets put in a hospital for a lil bit? you can decide what happened to s/o. maybe a bad heatstroke cuz its summer or something (totally not because its a bad heatwave where im living rn haha nope). idk, i just crave angst or hurt/comfort again from my fave skeletons.

if you're not up for this, its totally fine!!

thank you, have a chill day/night B)

- 🌌 anon whos sunburns arent stinging that much anymore B)

*Evil cackling* OH-HO-HO, yOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MONSTER YOU HAVE UNLEASHED…… I am an evil being who feeds off of angst and pain, and you’ve given me ample opportunity to make some of that sweet sweet angst >:-)))))))))

I tried to keep it ambiguous as to what you’re in for, mostly because I want you to be able to imagine heatstroke and me to be able to think “hahahah stab stab”! ^^

Also!!! The healthcare system in some other countries is fucking insane (like??? You guys have to pay to not die??????) so I’ll be going off of what I know about the healthcare system in Sweden where it’s free. (At least I’m 99% sure it’s free, except for like. Small things. For example, my antidepressants. I had to buy those myself when I was still on them.)

UF + HT BROS WHEN S/O IS IN THE HOSPITAL

Red (Underfell Sans):

He’s panicking so so bad, he’s terrified. What if you die?

Curses out anybody who tries to keep him from you, including the poor nurse who’s just doing their job

Actually he just. curses in general. He’s just spewing cuss words to seem angry instead of scared because That’s Definitely Better

Most likely out of all four to physically lash out at… well, anybody (except you obviously) lol

Red hates hospitals too, to make matters worse. He doesn’t know why, but they make him feel uncomfortable.

If somebody did this to you purposely and he’s not allowed by your side, he’s going out to find the person and kick their ass during that time lol

If nobody did this to you, he’s pacing and cursing and jfc Red, you do realise there are other people here right enjdjdjdjsjsk

This fucker tries to pull a “pfff nah i was never worried” but like. Red. Darling. Light of my life. Stars in my sky. Center of my universe. Bitch of my heart. Everyone can see right through your “anger” and literally your shaking voice is so not convincing. Get a better poker face and voice.

With some prodding, admits that finehewasscaredyou’ddieandhethoughthisheartstoppedforasecondwhichisweird’causehedoes’tevenhaveaheartanywaysthat’sovernowsowhocares

(He’s not great at expressing himself but it’s still progress)

WILL be staying right by you as you recover. You’ve no choice. (You do actually, he respects you and will back off if you tell him to)

Edge (Underfell Papyrus):

Oh no. Oh no.

Edge is trying his very best not to show any emotions but he’s not good at it because like. It doesn’t take a genius to see that him screeching angrily at people and demanding for the doctors to fix this is actually him poorly masking his fear. Edge doesn’t have the best poker face lol

He’s so pissed if he can’t stay right next to you the whole time. You’re his S/O!! What kind of bullshit is this?!

If you do need to be left alone with doctors and such things, Edge will do one or two things depending on why you're in the hospital, how bad what you’re in for is and for how long he can’t see you.

If you’re here for something like heatstroke - AKA something not brought on by somebody else - he’ll call friends and such while pacing and somewhat frantically share your current condition.

However, if anybody did this to you; and you’re in bad shape… Well, even fucking Satan will cower at the brutality of Edge’s revenge.

When he’s allowed to be, he’s by your side and - depending on why you’re in and for what - he might nag you for being careless, reassure you it wasn’t your fault, reassure you in general, and/or just stay silent.

It’s barely noticeable, but just noticeable enough, that you can tell that he’s shaking.

All it takes is a “are you okay?” For him to break and confess how scared he was.

For a moment he was back Underground and it was horrible and he felt so powerless and he hates that. He’s so, so happy you’re okay and he- he swears he’ll be with you on your way to recovery. Please just never get hurt again.

Dusk (Horrortale Sans):

If you thought Red and Edge were scared, just know it’s nothing compared to the absolute terror he feels.

Dusk knows how fragile the human body can be. He’s seen horrific things happen to humans and monsters alike and he’s always hyper-aware of just how easy it’d be to kill and/or hurt you.

Logically, he knows you won’t die, he knows human anatomy well enough to know this is something you’ll bounce back from, but his instincts are going haywire and all he can think of are the mangled corpses back Underground. It doesn’t matter whether your condition has anything to do with broken limbs or not, because those pictures are what his mind is forcing onto him.

He refuses to leave your side. If he’s forced away from you by nurses/doctors/staff, he’ll protest but if he really can’t be by you for your safety, he’ll be anxiously hovering as close by as he possibly can. Whenever he’s allowed to touch you, he’s practically glued onto you.

If he’s sure it’s just the two of you, and you’re unconscious, he’ll probably cry.

He… He hates being reminded of your mortality. He hates the idea that any day could be your last. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you were gone.

(He’d dust, probably.)

If somebody else got your purposely hurt, he’s going to hunt them down after a while (after you’ve recovered enough for him to be comfortable leaving you alone for a bit). He’s not going to kill them, but he might rough them up a bit -- but most likely, he’ll just intimidate them and/or threaten them. (It’d be a different story if you were murdered.)

Whenever you’re conscious, he’ll do pretty much anything you say, so long as it won’t get you anymore hurt or risk stunting your recovery.

When you’re released from the hospital, he’ll be by your side nearly 24/7 because he hates the idea of you getting hurt again just because he wasn’t there to protect you.

Aster (Horrortale Papyrus):

Tries to look calm and composed, but he does about as poor of a job as his brother. He does better in that he doesn’t act out or get in the way of the nurses, but he’s also crying and shaking and sobbing and can’t stop.

You getting injured triggers him pretty badly. If you’re not bleeding, it’ll probably be “only” a bad anxiety attack, but if there’s any blood involved it’s escalating into a full-blown panic attack.

He’s a nurse himself, but I doubt he’d be allowed to work with the other nurses when it comes to you because of how unsteady he is. He’s not sure whether he’s thankful for it or not, because he doesn’t trust himself to do a good job but he also wants to be there for you. He trusts his colleagues, but it’s still nerve-wracking.

Just like the others, he’s glued to your side when he’s allowed to be. Very metaphorically. He’s the best of them all at giving you space, partially because he’s just more respectful lol and partially because he’s a nurse so he knows not to smother you with physical affection until you’re in the clear.

If somebody caused you to go into this state, he will just like Dusk go and find them. He won’t do anything physical, but he does intimidate the person very effectively. He’s a terrifying giant and he knows how to use that to his advantage.

When you’re fine again, he’ll be acting anxious and protective for a while. He feels really guilty about it (because he should be comforting you - plus, he’s a nurse! He’s seen way worse things on his job) but you’ll have to give him comfort. This whole thing didn’t inspire much positive feelings in him and it stressed him out a lot, it may honestly take more of a toll on him than it does you.

#imagines tag #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #undertale au #horrortale sans #y/n x sans #reader x sans #sans #sans x y/n #sans x reader #uf papyrus #y/n x papyrus #papyrus x y/n #reader x papyrus #papyrus #papyrus x reader #underfell #horrortale #🌌 anon

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levis-tealeef · 2 years

Text

“safety of your arms,,

levi x reader | fluff/angst

ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ - after the discovery of the titans in the walls, y/n can't keep the sight out of their thoughts, leading to a series of sleepless nights caused by never ending nightmares

A/N: hello???? i haven't posted in...????? two months???? TWO???? -blinks- ahem... i am back from my accidental hiatus!! no specific reason... kinda just... overwhelmed with college and stuff ;,) i shoulddd be up to posting frequently soon!! :D thank you for all your support so far <3

warnings: blood, gore, death, injury detail… at the start

1k + words

it seemed at if it was never ending. the constant screams swarming around you as you looked into the eye of that titan was beginning to deafen you. there was no escape, only the blank stare of the beast locked with your own. you were paralysed in fear, as the wall started crumbling down, it's hand reaching out towards you.

you couldn't move, nor speak. you were stuck, unable to ask for help. where was everyone? where was he?

at last a scream erupted from your throat. it's fingers wrapped around your small body, its grip piercing your bones but not killing you just yet. you could only gasp out in pain, loud pathetic yells escaping you as your whole body turned numb.

it was then that you woke up with a strangled gasp. you shot up, hands clutching your arms as you hugged yourself desperately as a shield of sorts. taking in your surroundings you took deep breaths, quickly understanding it was nothing but a nightmare. you were in your bed, safe from the world.

with a heaved sigh you swung your legs over the side of the bed, sitting silently as you calmed yourself down, your thumbs rubbing gentle circles on your arms. eventually you stood, making your way out and down the halls towards the food court.

ever since the discovery of the titan in the walls you had been on edge... sometimes you'd wake up in the middle of the night due to a bad dream, other times sudden noises would make you jump out of your skin. it may sound silly but you felt like you were always being watched... the walls were listening, silently watching and waiting to grab you-

"stop-" even though there was no noise your hands had lifted to shield your ears. pointless really because your thoughts are in your head. "don't think about it... don't-... think about it." the last thing you wanted was to get worked up.

entering the kitchens you grabbed a glass, filling it with cool water. you splashed some water on your face too, to help with the warmth you were feeling. on your way here there was an uneasy feeling growing in your chest, almost restrictive. it felt harder to breathe on your way back to your room. was it the fact it was dark out? had you forgotten something? surely this wasn't still a dream...

darn. now you were beginning to overthink again.

adding to your stresses you were now getting a bit lightheaded. then, thump.

you slumped against the wall as your knees grew weak. this was not okay. nothing was okay. you're going to get hurt, get taken, get-

"please no-" and now the sobs began.

in a fickle attempt to not fall to the ground you sat down, sliding down the wall. it was cold against your back, and you didn't know if it was helpful.

your glass was forgotten about, your hands now grasping your hair as you tried convincing yourself that you weren't currently having a panic attack crumpled on the floor alone in the halls at night. unfortunately, you were.

with shaky breaths, your eyes closed, and your mind focused, you started whispering gentle comforts, trying to ignore the small breeze shifting through the halls. as the moments went on you found yourself not being able to sit still. lifting your head you looked up to the lantern hanging on the wall opposite you. it's flame was dancing, and for a second it was seeming to help with your anxiety.

at the sudden sound of a bang your head was whipped away from the comforting light down the long corridor. it was in the direction of the sleeping quarters. your vision was hazy so you couldn't see who it was, but the quiet curses and grumbles have it away as quick as his voice hit your ears.

"levi..." you whispered, your voice breaking. your throat felt so sore... you hadn't even been crying that long. so you thought anyway.

at the soft whisper of his name, he turned his attention from the door lock to you, a few distance away from where he was stood. he blinked in confusion, making his way over to you.

"what the hell are you doing out here? it's freezing." he frowned once he got close enough to you. he could see you trembling, and even an idiot could see you had been crying. "what happened?"

your eyes followed his as he crouched down in front of you, a small hiccup escaping your lips as he cautiously cupped your face into his hand.

"i-i don't understand why i'm s-so worked up-" you sniffled, your voice wobbling.

he hummed, his expression softening slightly. "did you have another bad dream?" with only a nod as an answer, he didn't ask anything more. "come on." he stood up, holding a hand out to you.

once taken his hand he lead you through the halls to his quarters, noticeably locking the door to try to ease some anxiety at least. you took a seat on his bed, fumbling with your hands.

he crouched down in front of you, looking at your expression. "you're safe." he spoke quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

"..." you were silent for a bit, just looking at him. "that titan..." levi's hand held yours, him giving you reassuring squeeze. "i can't unsee it." you whispered.

"it was a scary bastard," he continued to look at you. "but it can't get to you, y/n."

"but it's still there right? what if there's more. just... waiting and listening to our every move." you cringed at the thought. "it freaks me out."

he hummed. levi understood where you were coming from. he had questions of his own, and he wasn't shy to admit he found them quite terrifying also.

"the answers will come eventually." he reached a hand up to cup your cheek. "if it will help... i guess you can sleep here tonight."

softened, you gently placed your hand over his. "i don't want to disturb you, levi..."

"if you were disturbing me i wouldn't have offered." he stood up and pulled you into a hug, your face smooshing into his chest. "stop being stupid."

you blinked, huffing a small smile. you wrapped your arms around his waist, sighing. "alright, alright." your body relaxed as he started lacing his fingers through your hair, soothing your nerves. "thank you, levi..."

#levi #levi ackerman #levi my beloved #levi fluff #levi angst #levi x reader #angst #fluff #nightmare #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #oneshot #levi oneshot #aot oneshot #attack on titan

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ynsimagines · 3 years

Text

Supergirl: Stress Migraine

TW: Stress, Migraines. Throwing Up.

@superdanverss thanks for helping.

Your body was still trying to calm itself down from the anxiety attack you had after finding out Kara had been hurt. Your sister, your best friend, your rock lay unconscious under the sun lamps.

You had been stressed out to the max and you could feel a familiar pressure building behind your eyes. You’ve been getting migraines for as long as you can remember. You had a long list of different triggers, and one of them was definitely stress. There was the occasional migraine that would get so bad you’d find yourself in the hospital.

You had sat there for a while longer, and you felt that the pain was just starting to get worse until Alex walked in. “Y/N, you should head home for the day. Kara will be awake tomorrow,” she said. However, once she took a good look at you the crinkle on her forehead deepened, you were white as a sheet of paper.

“Kiddo, you look pale, what’s wrong?” ‘Other than your sister almost dying?’ you thought to yourself.

“I’m Fine.”

Alex shook her head, “you don’t look fine,” she said.

You knew you couldn’t hide your pain anymore. You buried your head in your hands and let some tears escape. “My head, hurts.”

Alex looks at you sadly knowing its from stress and rubs your back. “I’m sorry sweetheart. Why don’t you let me take you home?”

You nodded knowing you didn’t have the strength to sit there or argue any longer. You got up from where you were sitting and let Alex help you walk since the dizziness was starting to set in.

Alex stayed with you at yours and Kara’s apartment that night to look after you and make sure you wouldn’t need a trip to the emergency room. Since you were able to keep food and water down she didn’t see the need to give you an IV just yet. After much debate she decided to go to work the next morning and see Kara once she made sure you’d have everything you’d need.

Once she’d arrived at the DEO she was greeted by Winn who asked how you were doing because he saw Alex walking you out last night. “Honestly, I’m not sure her migraines always take so much out of her. I’m planning to stay with her again tonight ”

He nodded knowingly before Alex excused herself to the sunroom where Kara was. When she walked in the blonde was awake and sitting up playing with her phone. “Hey! you,” she said smiling.

Kara looked up at her older sister and smiled back. “Hey Alex.”

“How are you feeling?” She asked grabbing her stethoscope and going to check her sister’s vitals. “Almost 100%, I think my powers are pretty much back,” she said happily.

“Where’s Y/N?” Asked Kara, you normally were always by her side whenever the sun lamps were involved.

Alex sighed, “she wasn’t feeling very well so I made her go home.”

“What?” Said Kara attempting to get up before Alex pushed her to sit back down. “Kara, you shouldn’t be up and about just yet.”

“I don’t want Y/N to be alone,” protested Kara as she got up again and super sped back into her super suit. Before Alex could say anything she flew out of the window to your apartment.

When she arrived she noticed that your room was dark and instantly realized what was wrong. She walked in trying to be quiet in case you were asleep, and what she saw made her heart hurt. You were awake lying on your back with an ice pack on your temples. She knelt by your bed before you noticed her which caused you to smile slightly.

“Kara?” You asked weakly.

“Hi little one”

“Are you ok?” You asked still concerned

“Yes, Im fine sweetheart,” she said taking your hand in hers. “Migraine?”

You sighed, “It hurts so bad, Kar,” you said trying not to cry.

“I’m sorry honey, is there anything I can get you?” She asked feeling your forehead and grimacing when she realized you had a slight fever.

“My pain medicine? I haven’t taken one since before Alex left.” Kara knows you try not to take them very often because they’re not good for your stomach. Her concern grows when she realizes how bad your pain must be for you to feel like you absolutely need them.

She nods before getting up and leaving the room. Once she was in the hall the superhero let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She hated seeing you suffer from migraines like this. Over the years she had helped you through many and was fully intending on babying you until you felt better.

Kara found your orange bottle in the kitchen and got you a glass of water before confirming with Alex that it would be okay to also give you a fever reducer. “Can you sit up for me babe?”

You did as you were told but buried your head in your hands and winced as the pounding intensified Kara tried to provide you with some comfort by rubbing your back while she handed you the pills with the bottle of Gatorade to help you stay hydrated. Every part of your body felt weak and you were shaking like a leaf which you realized was probably the fever. Once you took the medication Kara instructed you to lay back down and placed a new ice pack back on your forehead.

“Just try and relax, close your eyes little one, I’m right here.” She said Laying on her side next to you and resuming holding your hand. She kissed the side of your head and let her mind wander as you dozed off. She went thought of your list of triggers but couldn’t come up with anything. ‘Why were you getting a migraine?’

You only slept for about an hour before waking up still in massive amounts of pain. “Honey, how is your head feeling?” Kara asked groggily having napped herself.

You winced, “like it’s going to explode,” you said. Rao, the pressure in your head felt like your brain was going to start oozing out of your ears, and you felt your mouth began to salivate. Due to your increased Heartrate and Breathing Kara was able to predict what was about to happen. She was fully prepared with the trashcan when you said, “Kara, I’m gonn-”

Before you could even finish the sentence, bile forced it’s way up your esophagus and made it’s way out. Your sister held your hair out of the way and rubbed soothing circles on your back until you were eventually done and mostly just dry heaving.

“Sorry Kara,” you said miserably.

“Nothing to apologize for sweet girl,” she kissed your forehead before going to clean up and text an update to Alex. You felt a little better and were able to get up and brush your teeth in the bathroom. As much as you hated throwing up it usually relieved your migraine a lot.

You were able to sit out on the couch as long as Kara kept the lights turned down. Kara gave you some saltine crackers to munch on and had you drinking pedialyte. You hoped to Rao you could keep it down or Kara would have Alex come and give you an IV or take you to the ER.

“Little one, what do you think caused this migraine?” Asked Kara sitting down next to you on the couch.

You thought for a moment about lying to her, but couldn’t when you looked into her big, blue eyes. “Stress,” you sighed.

Kara thought for a moment before she was hit with realization and she suddenly felt a pang of guilt in her chest. Yes, of course stress was one of your triggers, and of course seeing her big sister get hurt and unconscious would be incredibly stressful. She hated whenever being a superhero negatively effected someone she loved, especially her baby sister.

“Oh Rao, I’m so sorry sweetheart. I should’ve realized that” she said hugging you.

“It’s okay Kara, it’s not your fault,” this didn’t help your sister with her guilt though.

She rubbed your knee “I definitely could try to be more careful. Wear my anti-Kryptonite soon more often. Not go busting in places without backup.”

You nodded, “My head and I would really appreciate that. I’m sure Alex and J’onn would as well,” you joked lightly.

“I also think we should talk to J’onn about helping you learn how to meditate. That will help with your stress and anxiety levels,” she added.

Kara kissed your forehead again before putting a pillow on her lap and directing you to lay down on it. Once you were settled Kara turned on the TV knowing it wouldn’t worsen your pain at this point and put on some mindless comedy while gently stroking your hair.

"I love you, Kara.”

“I love you too, baby girl.”

When Alex came back to your apartment that night she found you and Kara fast asleep on the couch curled up in each other’s arms.

#supergirl #kara danvers #alex danvers #Baby!Danvers #cw #DC comics #winn schott #OC #migraine

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eliemo · 4 years

Text

Heart of Ice

Summary: Virgil quickly realizes the light sides had some kind of unspoken rule about touch. Which would be fine, if it didn't just apply to him.

TWs: Brief panic attack, touch starvation and mentions of its affects, self esteem issues, angst with a happy ending

Taglist: @the-blue-recluse @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess (let me know if you want to be added)

Virgil got it. Really, he did.

He was the villain for a long time, an unwanted nuisance everyone hated, and understandably so. He would never hold any hostility against them, not when he knew he deserved it.

Now...maybe he wasn’t a villain. Still a nuisance for sure, but a tolerated one. He’d been getting closer with the other sides, Patton’s smiles more frequent and genuine, Logan taking a real interest in what he had to say, and Roman’s annoyance quickly turning to fond affection.

So maybe they were friends. Or they were getting there at least. Virgil knew he cared about them more than they would ever care about him, but that was ok. He wasn’t outright despised and that was more than he’d ever dreamed of.

Sure, their affection could just be to keep him from ducking out again since they’d found out how easily he could ruin Thomas by leaving, but...but he hoped it was more than that.

It was a mix of conflicting emotions and desires, Virgil never quite able to understand if anything was genuine or not.

But they didn’t hate him. That was the important thing. It would be selfish to want anything more when he was so utterly unlikable, right?

He needed to get over himself. It didn’t matter.

It shouldn’t be bothering him this much. It was completely understandable that they didn’t want to touch him.

But did they have to act like he was some kind of disease?

They were all touchy feely people. Roman and Patton hugged countless times a day, and even Logan would absentmindedly clap their shoulders or squeeze their hands in passing.

Virgil watched them lean up against each other, lace their fingers together, pat each other's back in greeting and praise. It all came so naturally to them, clearly some kind of unspoken language in their little family.

And Virgil wanted that. He wanted it so badly it hurt. His chest squeezed whenever he saw Patton squeeze Logan’s hand, the loneliness crushing when Roman would pick Patton up in a crushing but safe hug.

Virgil...couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been touched. He’d grazed a shoulder in passing once or twice over the years, and he and Princey had accidentally held hands for half a second during a video, but other than that he came up blank.

And he’d definitely never had a hug. He knew that for sure. No one had offered one because...because why would they? Who would want to hug Virgil?

It was amazing enough that they were willing to be in the same room with him. All three of them were trying so hard to be friendly in the last few weeks since he’d told them his name and...it was incredible. It was like a dream.

But it was so unbearably obvious how careful they were not to touch him. Like he was something disgusting to be avoided. Like he would burn them, taint them beyond repair.

They would swerve out of his way when passing through a room to avoid brushing his shoulder, quickly pull their hands away if their fingers were about to brush his, carefully leaving as much empty space as possible if sitting beside him on the couch.

It went on for weeks, and it didn’t stop. No one commented on it, or bothered to avoid physical affection in front of him, and Virgil decided the best course of action was to try and ignore it.

If he brought it up, it would just turn into something awkward, and nothing would change. He’d rather just avoid the subject completely.

Virgil could handle that. He could ignore the ache in his chest and push down the thoughts of how desperately he just wanted a hug.

Everyone at least had the decency not to make it a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal.

Until...until it kind of was.

It had been a stressful few days for all of them, but obviously Virgil was taking the brunt of Thomas’s anxiety. They all knew that, and he appreciated how attentive and gentle they’d been with him lately.

Thomas was waiting on an important phone call, a confirmation that would give him a green light on his latest project they’d all been working non-stop on.

Virgil didn’t know the specific details of what they were waiting for, he’d lost himself to his panic immediately after hearing the words “important phone call” but he knew it was a yes or no answer, and that Thomas was incredibly anxious about it.

He and Patton were waiting in the mindscape’s kitchen, mugs of untouched hot chocolate sitting in front of them, Patton idly chatting to keep Virgil distracted.

And then Roman and Logan were suddenly rising up- the Prince with a dazzling grin on his face and Logan with a relieved sort of smile.

“He said yes!” Roman announced, and just like Virgil’s shoulders sagged, all the tension seeping out of his muscles. Thank god.

There were still more things to worry about now that the new project was actually underway. They would have to work out a new schedule, make sure they had enough time to perfect their scripts, and then of course there was the problem of nobody liking the finished product--

But that could wait. Right now...it was just nice to see everyone so happy.

Patton was already jumping up to give Roman a hug, reaching over to squeeze Logan’s hand, and Virgil quickly turned away before the ache in his chest, the feeling that longed for something similar could turn into the cold throbbing pain he occasionally grew familiar with.

He grabbed the mugs of now cooling hot chocolate to distract himself, smiling to himself as he tried to focus on the relief instead of the sorrow, and carried them over to the counter.

He set the mugs down, turned back around, and suddenly Patton was in front of him, pulling Virgil into the first hug he’d ever received in his life.

Virgil couldn’t breathe.

Patton was warm up against him, solid and comforting, arms wrapped around Virgil’s back like the softest thing in the world, and for just a second, for the first time, everything was perfect. Everything was ok, and the ache in his chest was gone.

It lasted less than two seconds, and suddenly Patton was pulling away like he’d actually been burned.

“I--”

Patton stopped whatever he’d been about to say, staring warily at a completely frozen, speechless Virgil. The warmth had seeped out of his body almost immediately, the ache returning with a vengeance, the want for touch even worse than before.

Logan and Roman were staring, eyes going from Patton to Virgil, tense and panicked like they were expecting some kind of violent reaction.

God, was touching him really that bad?

“I’m sorry,” Patton said quickly, glancing back at the others before turning back to Virgil, who quickly averted his gaze. “Sorry, Virge I wasn’t...I wasn’t thinking. I just got excited.”

“Right,” Virgil said, glad that at least his voice didn’t betray how it felt like his heart was crumbling. “I get it.”

“Virgil,” Patton said softly, and Virgil’s heart sank when he took a step back, putting even more space in between them. “I didn’t mean to, kiddo, I...it won’t happen again.”

Of course it wouldn’t. Virgil shouldn’t expect it to. They didn’t even want to brush shoulders with him, so why the hell would anyone ever hug him voluntarily?

“I know,” he said, already moving towards the doorway, grimacing when the others stepped away to give him extra space. He couldn’t help but feel a little bitter at how obvious all of it was. Come on, it wasn’t like he was infected. “It’s whatever.”

He stalked out of the kitchen, for the first time allowing himself to feel angry over this whole stupid thing. After weeks of tirelessly working to be better, after being accepted in every other way, they still wouldn’t…

He’d thought he was getting better. They’d called him family.

“Virgil?” Logan called, but Virgil ignored him, really not in the mood for any half-hearted excuses or lectures on why he should just be happy with what he got.

It was selfish to ask for more. He was greedy and awful and he would never really be one of them. He should know that by now and stop filling his head with fantasies that they might actually love him as much as they loved each other.

Virgil didn’t bother looking back to see if any of them looked even a little bit guilty. He pulled up his hood, hurried up the stairs, and locked himself in his room. It was probably where they wanted him, anyway.

Virgil collapsed at the end of his bed, head in his hands, well aware it probably looked like he was throwing a tantrum. They all probably hated him even more now.

But...but could they really blame him for being frustrated? Yeah, he didn’t expect them to be entirely comfortable around him, definitely not as physical as they were with each other, but he was really trying.

They didn’t need to make him feel like some walking virus.

Well. He’d gotten a hug, at least. His first and last real hug. He thought he might do anything to have that feeling again.

But no one wanted to hug Anxiety. Patton had said so himself- never again.

When Virgil allowed himself to be coaxed out of his room for dinner a few hours later, he noted with some sense of relief that the others seemed determined to pretend the incident in the kitchen never happened.

Good. While it didn’t undo how humiliated and disgusting he felt, the sooner they all forgot about it the sooner Virgil could continue ignoring how badly it hurt.

He shouldn't be upset. He needed to calm down and get over himself before he started causing issues.

He did, however, wonder if it was just his imagination that Roman’s chair seemed farther away from him today.

“So...movie night tonight, right?” Patton asked suddenly, voice chipper as he set down his fork. “I think we could all use some relaxation.”

“A splendid idea!” Roman exclaimed, and Virgil managed not to flinch at the volume of his voice. “You’ll be joining us right, Marilyn Morose?”

Virgil startled when the attention suddenly turned to him, suspicion and hope waging war at the soft encouragement in Prince’s voice.

Was this...a guilt thing?

“I- I mean I guess,” he said. “Maybe. If you like, want me to.”

He’d always known they did movie nights at least once a week, all cuddled up together on the couch, but Virgil had never actually been invited to one until he revealed his name. He’d attended a couple of them now, and they were...nice. Even if he always ended up on the armchair.

“Of course we do!” Patton said. “We always do. You’re our family, kiddo!”

Well, they certainly had a funny way of showing that.

Virgil quickly backtracked, pushing away his own dark thoughts. That wasn’t fair to them. Aside from the lack of any physical touch, they had welcomed him almost completely. In every other way, he was treated like one of them.

Besides, he’d clearly done something to warrant the unspoken no-touching rule. It wasn’t their fault he was too stupid to figure out what it was.

“You are a large part of the reason Thomas succeeded today,” Logan added, and Virgil felt a bit breathless at the praise. “You stayed vigilant and cautious, and made sure there were no mistakes. I’m very grateful for your assistance.”

Virgil ducked his head, surprised when glancing at the other two showed only kind smiles and honest appreciation in their eyes. They were...actually being serious. He’d done something right.

“It...it wasn’t...I was just--”

“Doing your job,” Logan finished for him. “And doing it quite well, I might add. As you usually do.”

It wasn’t anywhere near as intense as the feeling Patton’s hug had brought, but...but it was close, warmth spreading over his chest. Virgil let himself relax, and offered a small smile in return.

“Ok,” he said, because he still was absolutely useless when it came to voicing his thoughts. “Thanks. Uh, you...you too.”

He might have missed it if he wasn’t always so attentive to people’s body language (sometimes overly so), but Logan’s hand was suddenly moving forward like he was going to pat Virgil on the arm.

It never made contact, of course. Logan caught himself in less than a second, the logical side sitting up ramrod straight and quickly pulling his hand back to his lap.

He offered an apologetic smile, Patton and Roman quickly clearing their throats and turning back to their dinner plates, and Virgil was forcibly reminded where he stood.

He’d done what he was supposed to do, keeping Thomas safe and helping him reach his goals, but that didn’t just magically change things.

Right. No touching. But he could survive off nothing but words of validation and verbal affirmation. That was just as good.

Except…

Except between the accidental hug and the rush of anticipation that came with Logan almost putting a hand over his own, Virgil had never felt the longing for any type of physical touch so strongly in his entire life.

He’d gotten used to having nothing, to being alone, just periodic glimpses of the warmth he would always be left out of. He’d adapted to it, learned to live with the cold ache in his chest, and moved on.

And now...

Now it kind of felt like he was dying. Like the cold loneliness was wrapping around him, all powerful and suffocating, his breaths coming faster and faster--

Patton stood to begin clearing the table, and Virgil was moving before he even really processed what he was doing.

“I got it,” he said. He was trembling slightly, and he was almost positive they could all hear it in his voice. “I can do the dishes. I’ll do them.”

It was a stupid, stupid thought that had crept into his brain, but right now- as desperate as it was- it was the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.

Patton blinked, tilting his head like a confused puppy. “I- well thank you, kiddo but that’s ok, I think I--”

“I can do it,” he insisted. “You can- You can go relax, I- I got it.”

That was what he needed to do, right? He couldn’t be left feeling this empty and cold all the time. He would never give up what he had with the others but being this close to them all the time had awoken something in him. Nobody ever touched him and he couldn’t keep going like this.

He’d done well today. He’d been good and Logan had almost, almost set aside whatever personal bias they all had to touch him. It had been so close.

So obviously...obviously he wasn’t good enough. Not quite. He was still just horrible enough that no one could bring themselves to close the distance between them.

But that was ok. He could do better. He could be better. And if that didn’t work, then...well, then verbal praise was the next best thing, right?

Unfortunately, he must look even worse than he felt because Roman was suddenly reaching for Virgil’s plate, pulling it out of his reach.

For a second, Virgil thought about reaching for it under the small flare of hope that their fingers might brush.

“I don’t believe that is the wisest idea,” Logan said. “You’re clearly agitated and distressed. I recommend you wait on the couch while we clean up tonight.”

Virgil shook his head, though logically he knew the dirty dishes would end up slipping right through his shaking fingers if he tried to clean up right now.

But he couldn’t take the thought of just sitting on the couch, a useless hindrance they would only grow to despise more and more.

“I- I want to help--”

“Virgil,” Logan said. “Ever since you began regularly eating meals with us, there have been exactly three times you have not helped with the clean up. Two of those were because Thomas summoned you, and the other was due to your fatigue after a recent panic attack.”

“But I--”

“You have had a long day,” the logical side continued. “You’re exhausted, and you need to sit down before you end up hurting yourself. Nobody is going to be angry if you take a break today, Virgil. Please accompany me to the living room.”

And Virgil knew there was no way to argue with any of that. Not when Roman and Patton were nodding encouragingly. Not when Logan was motioning for him to follow and he thought maybe, maybe he would put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder to guide him into the living room.

He didn’t.

They both ended up on the couch, Logan counting out familiar breathing exercises to keep Virgil from hyperventilating. He did his best to focus on calming down, eyes cast stubbornly down to the ground.

There was a good couple inches of space between them, enough that Logan wouldn’t accidentally bump into him if he moved his arm too fast. Of course.

“I assume what happened earlier today has made you jumpy,” Logan said after a few moments. “I assure you, Patton really is sorry. Hugging you was never his intention, sometimes the others can just get...over excited when it comes to physical affection. Patton can’t always control himself.”

Virgil bit his lip, forcibly biting back tears that threatened to rise because this was really not helping. He understood that no one ever planned on hugging him, he didn’t need it shoved in his face all the time.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “I know.”

Despite everything, Virgil had actually managed to calm down a bit by the time the others joined them for movie night, Roman plopping down on the other side of Logan, Patton shuffling around to find the remote and set down popcorn bowls.

Virgil knew trying to leave would only invite more worried frowns and gentle questions he didn’t know how to answer (besides, he didn’t particularly like the thought of being all alone up in his room right now), so he just took a shaky breath and willed himself to stay calm, shoving everything aside for the moment.

And then Patton moved to sit down with the others, and visibly hesitated at the end of the couch.

There was plenty of room for one more person. It wouldn’t even be particularly cramped, not with the way Roman was already invading most of Logan’s space.

But, of course, it was just enclosed enough that it ran the risk of Patton’s leg brushing Virgil’s when he sat down.

Virgil stood up before Patton even had the chance to open his mouth and stalked over to the empty armchair, not bothering to hide his irritation. He might not blame them for it, but that didn’t mean he had to act happy about being so repulsive to everyone.

“Aw, you don’t have to do that kiddo,” Patton said. “You can stay on the couch, I don’t mind.”

“It’s whatever,” he said, and it was like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over his head, the sudden distance separating Virgil from everyone else making him shudder, and his reply came out a lot more curt than he’d meant it to. “This is where you want me, right?”

Patton had lowered himself next to Logan and was peering at Virgil curiously, worried smile dropping to a slight frown. “You can sit wherever you want, kiddo. You know that.”

Virgil couldn’t stop the scoff that escaped. “Right. Just as long as it’s somewhere you won’t accidentally hug me again, right?”

The room was plunged into an uneasy silence. Great. He’d managed to make movie night awkward and the television hadn’t even been turned on yet.

“Kiddo, I--”

“It’s fine,” he said quickly, guilt coiling in his gut. “It’s...sorry. I didn’t- I know you didn’t mean to. Just...long day.”

“We’ve all had a long day,” Roman snapped, sitting up from where he’d been leaning against Logan, and Virgil inadvertently found himself wondering how that would feel. “There’s no need to be rude to Patton, Negative Nancy.”

He was the one being rude? Him? After weeks of them treating Virgil like he was contagious and not even bothering to offer an explanation?

“Right,” he muttered. “I’m the asshole. Like always.”

“Virgil,” Logan spoke up, clearly caught off guard by the sudden shift in tone, and Virgil deflated. “We...understand your uneasiness. But between the three of us, physical contact has become something of a habit. We have been careful not to extend that to you, but habits take time to grow out of. And mistakes will be made.”

And Virgil...Virgil was pretty sure if he didn’t get out of this room right now he was going to burst into tears. They’d never actually talked about this before. He’d never heard them acknowledge that it wasn’t just his overactive imagination.

“I get that,” he said, voice painfully strained. “I do, I’m...I’m not trying to fight I just- just...do you guys have to be so obvious about it?”

Virgil risked a glance up, all three of them staring at him now with some form of hesitant uncertainty.

Logan cleared his throat and echoed Virgil’s request. “Obvious?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “You guys don’t...I don’t get why you’ve all decided touching me is somehow the worst fucking thing in the world. I know...I know you won't touch me and it’s not like I blame you- trust me, I’ve met myself- but...you could at least maybe try not to treat me like I’m carrying the goddamn plague!”

His outburst was met with silence, the other side’s expressions unreadable, and Virgil’s heart sank when he realized his vision was becoming quickly clouded with tears.

He quickly started to backtrack. “I mean, I’m...sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to...it’s ok you guys. Really, it is. I get it, I’m...I’m Anxiety. Nobody wants...obviously you guys aren’t ever gonna--”

“Virgil,” Logan cut him off, and the logical side sounded...panicked? “I believe we may have had a very large misunderstanding. You...would you like us to engage in physical contact with you?”

Virgil hunched his shoulders, frantically blinking away tears. “I’m not...I’m not gonna make anyone...you don’t want to, and that’s fine. Really. I’m not mad, it’s ok.”

“Honey, no.” Patton sounded breathless when he spoke up, frantic. “That’s not it at all! We thought you didn’t want us touching you!”

Virgil froze, everything around him screeching to a stop, and for a moment he thought he must have misheard.

“I- you...what?” Why would they... how could they think that? He’d actually thought it was fairly obvious how badly he wanted it.

Roman stood up from the couch and crossed his arms. “Why on earth would we go out of our way to avoid touching you if it wasn’t to make you comfortable?”

Virgil blinked, suddenly completely lost. What the hell was going on? He’d thought they’d made their intentions pretty clear.

“I...why wouldn’t I want you guys to--?”

“Well, you certainly acted like it!” Roman snapped, and Virgil knew the Prince well enough by now to know he wasn’t angry, just stressed. “If you didn’t mind being touched, you wouldn’t act like we were trying to electrocute you every time we got too close!”

Patton reached up to put a hand on Roman’s arm, steadying him, but his gaze never left Virgil.

Virgil was starting to think this was all some kind of twisted dream his touch-starved mind had come up with, flipping everything around for the sole purpose of confusing him. This was...this was a joke, right? Some kind of excuse?

“What are you talking about?” he asked, ignoring how bad the tremble in his voice had gotten. “I didn’t...guys, it’s ok if you don’t want to touch me, I-I’m not gonna force you obviously, I just...never understood why it was a big deal. That’s all.”

Patton was shaking his head, hands moving to cover his mouth as Virgil spoke, and the moral side turned warily to Logan.

“Virgil,” Logan said. “We clearly could have...handled this differently. We’ve been purposely avoiding physical contact because based on your body language, we... I concluded that it made you uncomfortable.”

“It wasn't just you, Specs,” Roman said, his voice softer than when he’d been talking to Virgil. “We all clearly misunderstood. I- I still don’t quite...understand.”

The room was spinning, and Virgil did his best to blink away the dizziness washing over him, furiously wiping away a few stray tears that made their escape. He hoped no one noticed.

“I thought you just...didn’t want to. Because it’s...you know. Me.”

“Oh, kiddo.”

“What did I do?” he asked, suddenly terrified as to how he could have misread the situation so horribly for so long. “To...to make you guys think that?”

Logan blinked, his brow furrowing as he scrutinized Virgil from behind his glasses, and all three of them looked oddly confused by the question.

“I...Virgil, it’s been fairly easy to pick up on for some time now. Even before we learned your name.”

Patton frowned, taking a small step forward. “You got...really tense whenever someone would go to touch you, kiddo. Like you thought it was gonna hurt.”

“Earlier on, one of us moving like we planned on touching you would result in a flinch,” Logan added. “Later, as we got closer, we noticed you going very still. Like you were afraid. It wasn’t hard to avoid touching you before learning your name, but now…”

“We had to be more careful,” Roman jumped in. “Clearly that...wasn’t what you wanted.”

God Virgil was so stupid. This whole time he’d thought...for once he hadn’t even done anything wrong. And now all he’d managed to do was make everyone stressed and confused. He’d fucked everything up without even realizing.

They’d...they’d tried to touch him before? Before even learning his name? If he’d just been normal he could have avoided years of that cold, longing feeling settling in his chest?

He wondered if things would change now. Probably not, Virgil reasoned with himself, his throat tightening at the thought. He blew it. They’d just be upset with him now.

“I am...I am so sorry,” Logan said, and Virgil was having a difficult time following what was being said. “After getting to know you and your behavior patterns, I had concluded that your aversion to touch stemmed from sensory issues that can often relate to anxiety. Clearly, I should have asked you for confirmation.”

Logan sounded genuinely guilty, while Roman and Patton were looking at him softly. It wasn’t a big deal. He’d been wrong. They didn’t hate him, he’d just stupidly misunderstood their intentions.

But it was all cleared up now. It didn’t matter. He could suck it up and move on, just as long as he could keep the annoyingly persistent tears at bay for a little bit longer.

“It’s ok,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut and hunching over himself when his breath caught in his throat. “It’s...i-it’s fine.”

God, he was so pathetic. He was pathetic. Why would anyone ever want to touch him?

“Obviously it’s not, sweetie.” Patton was suddenly in front of him, kneeling in front of the armchair. “We didn’t mean to hurt you, Virge, but it’s ok to be upset with us.”

Virgil shook his head, voice refusing to cooperate with his racing mind. He quickly wiped at the fresh tears, refusing to fall apart over something so stupid.

The next moment happened in a frantic blur, but everything clicked into place when it was over.

Patton carefully reached forward, moving to rest his hand on the anxious side’s knee, and Virgil’s heart squeezed in desperation and hope for the gentle, grounding touch he’d never been able to experience before.

His body ended up reacting differently, completely against his will. He tensed up completely, wide eyes locking onto Patton’s hand, his breathing stopping completely.

Patton noticed, of course. His face fell at the reaction, and he quickly pulled his hand away.

Oh. Virgil supposed it did look like he was scared rather than desperate. “S-sorry. I--”

“Don’t be sorry, kiddo,” Patton said, but he sounded hesitant. Disappointed. “It just...seems like you’re uncomfortable.”

“It’s...it’s not that,” Virgil managed. His voice was horribly unsteady, but he needed them all to understand that it wasn’t them- he was just too useless to control his own reactions. “I didn’t even realize I...I just have never had it before so I don’t...I don’t know how to--”

“Wait a second,” Roman said, Virgil quickly snapping his mouth shut. “What do you mean you’ve never had it?”

They were all staring at him, probably baffled and annoyed by his inconsistent rambling, and Virgil curled tighter in on himself, his cheeks burning.

“I...I’ve never, uhm…” He suddenly didn’t want to say it, all too aware of how little it mattered. This conversation should have been over a long time ago. “I’ve never been...you know. I-I’ve never...done it.”

Great, now it just sounded like he was speaking nonsense. But the others seemed to have some idea of what he was talking about, judging by the looks they were suddenly throwing each other. Roman was the only one who eventually spoke up.

“You- are you just talking about touch?” The Prince demanded, and Virgil shrank back. “Virgil, you’ve never been touched? At all?”

Virgil shrugged, dropping his gaze to his lap. “I mean, yeah. Not...not really. Other than, um, other than Patton hugging me today.”

But he’d seen Patton hug the others, and he knew what he’d gotten could barely count as one. Not that he had any right to complain. He’d be lucky if they didn’t shun him for the rest of his life after today.

“I’m sorry,” he said when the silence stretched on far too long to mean anything good. “I know, guys. I know it isn’t a big deal, I’m really really sorry for making it one, I just--”

“Virgil.” Patton’s voice came out more choked, more anguished than Virgil had expected, and then…

And then there was a hand on his face, cupping his cheek and brushing away the falling tears, and Virgil couldn’t breathe in the best way possible.

Patton’s hand was warm, enough to startle Virgil out of his spiraling panic for the moment, but his breath still hitched when he met the moral side’s watering gaze.

“Virgil,” he said again. “Is it alright if I hug you?”

Virgil blinked, still partly convinced this was a dream, heart racing in his chest. He couldn’t find his voice, eyes glued to Patton’s, but he managed a tiny nod.

It all happened so fast- suddenly Patton’s hands were wrapped around his own, pulling him off the chair and onto wobbling legs, and then he was being pulled forward...

Oh. Oh.

He fell against Patton’s chest, his head resting in the crook of the moral side’s neck, Virgil’s legs threatening to give out beneath him when Patton wrapped his arms around him and held on tight.

Virgil was sobbing before Patton even started rubbing circles on his back, rocking them both gently, hushing him softly.

He had no idea if he was doing this right, practically limp in Patton’s hold. His arms were just uselessly hanging there, hands wracked with violent tremors. But even if he did know what to do, he doubted he could force his body to move right now, only able to melt into the embrace as the living room filled with his miserable sobbing.

“Oh baby, it’s ok.” Patton was talking softly, his breath warm against Virgil’s ear, and he finally forced his hands to move up and clutch the other side’s shirt. “It’s ok, you’re ok. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you now. You’re alright.”

There was another hand cupping the back of his head, running fingers through his hair, and he caught a glimpse of Logan pressing up against them both. The movements of his fingers were slow and precise, burning Virgil’s freezing skin like the most pleasant fire, his words of reassurances lost to the sound of desperate cries.

And then Roman was there too, briefly meeting Virgil’s eyes with a sad but hopeful smile, suddenly moving around to join in and hug Virgil from behind.

He quickly realized that this, as overwhelming as it was for his first time, was the single best feeling in the entire world. He was certain that he would crash to the ground in a trembling heap if the others weren’t supporting his weight.

Virgil had never felt so warm. The brief hug in the kitchen had been nothing compared to this. He couldn’t stop shaking despite it, overwhelmed and so, so relieved, wanting nothing more than to melt into the embrace and never let go. He could stay here forever, wrapped up in safety and warmth, the rest of the cold, lonely world forgotten.

But eventually he cried himself out, sobs dying down to hiccuping gasps as he fought to get a hold of his breathing. Patton and Roman loosened their grip, Logan’s fingers slowing, but none of them pulled away just yet.

Virgil took in a shuddering breath. “I’m s- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Patton said. “You don’t need to be sorry for a thing, kiddo.”

He clutched Patton’s shirt tighter, sucking in a breath when Roman moved to put a hand over his fist. “I- I thought y-you...you all--”

“We should have asked,” Patton said, pulling back enough to see Virgil’s face. “We should have realized you were hurting, honey. That’s our fault.”

“Not yours, Virge,” Roman agreed, leaning forward slightly to press his forehead against Virgil’s temple. “I can’t even imagine how isolated we must have made you feel. But that’s over now. We can fix this. We will fix this.”

“I do want to offer my sincere apologies,” Logan said. “We had all misread the behavior, but I was the one who enforced it after learning your name. I should never have jumped to conclusions so quickly.”

Virgil tried to shrug, but it quickly proved to be impossible with how tightly he was pressed against the others. He didn’t mind at all.

He wasn’t ready to let go yet, despite the way his stomach twisted at the guilt Logan didn’t deserve to be feeling, a dark part of his mind whispering that once he pulled away, the warmth would never come back.

“It’s ok,” he said, voice still raw and hoarse. “It was just a s-stupid misunderstanding, right? I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up, I- I know it’s not a big deal. It’s just a hug.”

It was a lie and they all knew it. Silly as it was, it meant the world to him. He would do just about anything to make this feeling last forever.

“Virgil, no.”

Patton was moving away, and Virgil felt a rush of blinding panic before Logan suddenly took his place, holding Virgil’s face in his hands, eyes wide and intense. Patton didn’t go far, his hand moving to clutch Virgil’s arm, and Roman only tightened his hold.

“It is not stupid, Virgil,” Logan said, tilting Virgil's chin up. “Not at all. I can assure you, it was far from an overreaction.”

“Logan--”

“Physical touch is essential for one’s mental health. Especially for those who experience heightened anxiety. I should have known... depriving you of any physical contact your entire life has left you incredibly touch starved, likely only worsening any symptoms you would naturally experience.”

Usually, Virgil found it fascinating listening to Logan, the way he so naturally took on a teaching position, spouting off information like he was reading from an invisible book.

Now, the dread and panic were clawing at his throat, and Virgil swallowed, forcing himself to speak. “Am I...am I hurting Thomas?”

The terror was overwhelming, doing all it could to convince him that the others would hate him, that Thomas would want him gone for good. But it didn’t last long, Logan shaking his head with an unbearably gentle expression.

“I am not talking about Thomas’s mental state.” He reached forward to brush away some of Virgil’s hair, looking oddly relieved when Virgil leaned into the touch. “I’m talking about yours.”

“Oh.”

Roman finally dropped his arms, but just like Patton he didn’t go anywhere, his chest still brushing Virgil’s back while he reached for one of his hands. Patton took his other one, both running gentle patterns over his knuckles with their thumbs.

Virgil felt like he was going to melt right here and now. He couldn’t help but smile.

“Since it seems you're comfortable with touch,” Logan said, and Virgil almost wanted to laugh. He was a little bit more than comfortable. “I’m hopeful we can undo any damage that has been caused. Tonight is already a good start.”

And that...that sounded amazing. It sounded more than amazing. It was all he’d wanted this whole time, years of bitter, icy cold loneliness already paling in comparison to the warmth and love he’d felt in the last ten minutes.

But...

“I...thank you. Thank you so much, but...I-I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t--”

“Kiddo,” Patton said. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to stop myself from hugging you?”

“All of us,” Roman added. “I’ve lost track of how many close calls I’ve had. I thought it was good you didn’t seem to notice how badly I wanted to, but...apparently not. But we love you, Virge. We love you so much.”

“We do!” Patton squeezed his hand. “We really, really do. You’re not forcing us into anything, kiddo. You’re family.”

Virgil kind of wanted to pinch himself to make absolutely sure this wasn’t a dream. But there was absolutely no way he could make up something this good.

“Ok,” he said, still wincing at how weak his voice sounded. “That’s...that’s good because I...I don’t think I could go back. Uh, to how it was. After...after all this. I-if this was just a one time thing, I don’t know what I’d do. And I know that’s dumb, this is literally my fault, but--”

“None of that,” Logan said, firm but not unkind, and Virgil fell silent. “This is far from a one time thing. I believe you’ll start having a hard time getting away from the hugs now.”

Virgil laughed, not really caring when it came out as more of a strangled sob. “I think I’m ok with that.”

“It’s still early,” Patton said. “You kiddos think we should take this to the couch? We can still watch some movies if you’re up to it, Virgil.”

As soon as he nodded, Virgil felt arms wrap around him again, one under his knees and one behind his back, lifting him up from the ground.

“Princey!” He wrapped his arms around Roman’s shoulders by instinct and froze, suddenly terrified he would be yelled at. But, he reminded himself, Roman was literally holding Virgil in his arms. Nobody found Virgil repulsive. “I can walk, dork.”

Roman grinned down at him, taking them both back towards the couch. Virgil found he really didn’t mind being carried when it ended up with him put down in the middle of the couch, still curled up in Prince’s hold with his head against Roman’s chest.

The others joined soon after, Patton grabbing the popcorn and sitting on Roman’s other side with his legs propped up on Virgil’s lap. Logan sat directly next to Virgil, his hand squeezing the anxious side’s shoulder before dropping his head to rest on Virgil’s shoulder.

Virgil shuddered, tensing against his will at the rush of sensations, but no one pulled away when he didn’t quite know how to reciprocate.

“Just relax now,” Roman said softly, pressing a kiss to Virgil’s hair while Patton got the movie started. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Virgil wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, only vaguely aware of himself drifting in and out of consciousness, still held safely by the others on the couch, an old familiar Disney movie playing in the background.

He thought his position might have been changed, but he still felt the rise and fall of Roman’s chest beneath his head, someone’s hand running gently through his hair.

For the first time, he felt safe upon waking up and let himself keep his eyes shut, breathing deeply.

“Is he asleep?” he heard Patton ask, the hand in his hair slowing for just a moment. “He really wore himself out today.”

“Indeed,” Logan agreed from somewhere nearby. “Not to mention a common side effect of touch starvation is difficulty sleeping, nightmares, stress, a lower sense of self worth, dep--”

“But he’ll be ok now,” Patton said, thankfully cutting off Logan’s worryingly accurate description. “He’s got us, and he’s my kiddo. He never has to feel that way again.”

“It will take some time. And eventually we will have to have a talk about consent and boundaries- I don’t ever want him feeling overwhelmed. But you are accurate, Patton. He has us now. He will be alright.”

Virgil had to force himself not to smile, not quite ready for this to end for the night. He knew eventually he’d have to head back to his room, but the thought of being alone again, even just for the night, was--

“I don’t want him to wake up alone,” Roman whispered, like he could read Virgil’s mind. “Is it alright if we stay here tonight?”

“Of course, kiddo.”

“I am perfectly comfortable where I am.”

True to their word, none of them seemed inclined to leave the comfort of the couch, the movie’s volume eventually turned down to a faded hum.

Virgil sighed, relaxed and content, letting himself smile as he fell back into the first truly restful sleep he’d had in a long time, followed closely by warmth and love.

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years

Text

safe space ~ corpse husband

word count: 1296

request?: yes!

“Ok I just had this random imagine idea for corspe husband pop into my head. Its kinda long but I think it would be cute. The reader gets panic/anxiety attacks too but the reader had never been able to calm down or have a safe space when they have them. One time they were on the verge of having one and corspe just held them and they calmed down and they were surprised. It happens like that a few times and the reader realizes he's their safe space. One time they were about to have one and corspe was in his room editing (not streaming or recording) and the reader goes to him and plops on his lap and he's confused and the reader mumbles something like safe space and he's just shocked and happy. Idk I think its cause I just had one that I thoguht of this. I know its long. I just want some long cute corspe fluff. 🖤”

description: in which she finds out that her safe space is in his arms

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing, anxiety attacks

masterlist

The first time we realized that Corpse was my safe space was during an Among Us stream. I was in Corpse’s room playing so that we didn’t accidentally cheat off of one another. The round had ended with me throwing and voting for Leslie instead of Felix, causing the imposters to win, which resulted in everyone immediately yelling when they could all unmute their mics again.

I knew they weren’t actually mad, but I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with all the yelling. My breathing was becoming quicker and more shallow, and everything I could possibly say caught in my throat. Tears were forming in my eyes and my hands were shaking so bad I could barley even try to type anything in the chat. No one noticed my silence over all the shouting, except for Corpse, who knew me all too well.

The door to his YouTube room opened and the next thing I knew, his arms were around me, holding me tightly.

“They’re not actually mad,” he whispered, soothingly, in my ear. “It’s okay baby, you’re okay.”

Although it was still a long process of coming down from my attack, I felt myself relax in his arms quicker than I normally did. I cuddled my head into his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat until I felt myself feeling better. Corpse ended his stream and both of us left the game to spend the rest of the night just cuddling in bed together.

After that, Corpse became my safe place. Whenever he was around for an anxiety attack, he’d take me in his arms and would hold me as long as I needed him to. When he was busy, I’d put on one of his hoodies that smelled like him, which did the trick well enough but not as much as actually feeling his arms around me.

One day, I was hunched over my laptop, trying to make sense of the assignment I had been given for one of my classes. The wording of the assignment made absolutely no sense, and what was expected was extremely confusing. I didn’t know anyone in my class well enough to reach out and ask for help, so I felt stuck. And, of course, the stupid thing was due in a week’s time and I didn’t even know where to start for it.

My mind began to fill with anxious thoughts. I was convinced that this one assignment was going to lead to my ultimate failure of the entire class, and I was sure that that’s what I deserved.

You should’ve started earlier, a voice in my mind was saying. If you fail you deserve it. You have no one to blame but yourself, you lazy piece of shit.

Corpse was in his YouTube room, luckily just editing a video and not actually recording or streaming. As I felt my anxiety attack coming on, I debated on walking in without warning. I needed him more than anything right now, but I didn’t want to interrupt him when he was technically working. However, my vision was already becoming blurred from a combination of tears and how bad I was shaking, so I knew this would be a bad one that I couldn’t ride out on my own.

Corpse looked up at me as I walked into the room without knocking. He looked confused, but pushed his chair out anyways to give me room to curl up on his lap.

“What are you doing?” he asked, a mixture of confused and amused.

“Safe space,” I mumbled against his chest. My shaking was already becoming less intense.

He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him. We sat like that for some time. I listened to Corpse’s steady heartbeat, a soothing sound that could’ve lulled me to sleep if I wasn’t still coming down from my near attack.

After a while, I felt Corpse move his chair back to his desk. He leaned forward ever so slightly as to not disrupt me on his lap and continued to edit his video. I watched as he did so, giggling at the parts that made me laugh, which was approval enough for Corpse to keep them in the video.

We were sat like that for nearly an hour. I had long calmed down, but I was so comfortable in Corpse’s arms that I didn’t want to move. When he finished editing, I turned to face him, straddling his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Are you okay?” he asked, resting his hands on my hips.

“I am now,” I confirmed. “I’m sorry for bothering you while you were editing.”

“You don’t have to apologize, baby. You have nothing to apologize for. You know you can always come to me when you need me.”

I ran my hands through his hair and gave him a light kiss on the nose, causing him to chuckle.

“You’re too good to me,” I said, my voice low in a whisper.

“Saying I’m too good to you implies that you don’t deserve someone who is going to be there for you at all times,” he said. “Which you do. You deserve that and so much more.”

“You’re gonna make me cry!” I said, blinking away the tears of happiness that were forming in my eyes. “Stop being so cute!”

“I can’t, it’s a disease. I can’t get rid of it.”

I giggled and kissed him again.

“Want to talk about what had you so worked up?” he asked.

I sighed and leaned back more to look at him. “It’s that stupid assignment for my class. I’ve left it for too long and now it’s due next week and I have no idea what to do for it. I’m afraid I’m gonna fail, the assignment and the class...and I feel like I deserve to fail for leaving it so late.”

“A week is plenty of time to work on it once you have it figured out,” Corpse said. “Can you email your professor to get it explained?”

“I can try, but she’s awful for responding. Last time I emailed her she didn’t respond until the day it was due, and by then I had already bullshit my way through the assignment and submitted it. I don’t even know I can do that for this one.”

“It’s worth a try. You can email her, then I’ll see if there’s any way I can help you figure it out while you wait. I warn you though, I am not the brightest person out there.”

“Well that’s a lie. You’re much smarter than I am.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. That’s the simp in you clouding your judgement of me.”

I chuckled at this as Corpse pulled me to him to kiss my neck. I let out a squeal as he rose from his chair, my legs still wrapped around his waist and his arms still holding me tightly.

He carried me back to his room and basically threw me down on his bed. He took my school stuff off the bed and proceeded to flop down on top of me, effectively pinned me down to the bed.

“Get up! I gotta email my prof!” I laughed, trying - and failing - to push him off of me.

“You can email later. I want to cuddle.”

I playfully rolled my eyes, but in truth I was grateful for this moment. No stress, no anxiety, just the love of my life in my arms and his head on my chest. I played with his curly brown hair as he ran his fingers gently over my sides.

This was my safe space, my happy place. And I truly couldn’t ask for a better one.

#corpse husband #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse imagine #corpse x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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the-passenger-if · 3 years

Note

A prompt for the angst but!! How would the ros deal/treat/react to a newman that had frequent panic attacks? (If your comfortable answering, and no ones asked before) I imagine since the whole reason we're on earth is because we're trying to hide from this eldritch diety who wants to inhale us whole, and to top it all off newman doesnt even have enough energy to leave. That would cause any being an extreme of stress and anxiety. Especially after Tzr'nekre actually finally locates us

combining it with

if its not too spoilery, how would the ROs react to the MC waking up from a nightmare (say, one in which the RO got possessed by tzr'nekre?) and MC just clings to them, crying, after waking up, and refusing to explain but its obvious they had a terrible nightmare?

This isn’t what Fiama imagined when she was awaken by Newman’s warm face pressing against her breasts, ragged breathing and all. She wants to grab a hold of their head, hold them there, but as her hand brushes their cheek, she finds it damp. Maybe with sweat, maybe with tears.

“Baby?” she asks in a hushed whisper. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

The only reply she gets is a stuttering intake of breath. And then her partner’s arms are sneaking around her—one under her neck, the other around her waist—and Newman is squeezing her tight.

Fiama is strong, she has always been. Her mother once told her—not in kind terms—that she truly took after her father’s sisters; their arms, made to keep children from ripping one another’s eyes out, their legs to carry drunken husbands back home. Now, trapped in Newman’s strong embrace, she feels like the type of dainty, unobtrusive creature her mom wished she had grown into.

She takes a deep breath—as deep as she's able to within her lover’s tight grip—and tries again. “Babe… you’re… crushing me.”

The hold eases up an instant later, but Newman doesn’t let go. They bury their wet face in Fiama’s neck, still silent. It’s alarming to say the least, but she keeps her voice calm. “Are you hurting?” Newman shakes their head. “Are you sad?” She hugs them, feels them shaking in her arms—Newman doesn’t shake like this. “Are you scared?” She didn’t want to sound so flabbergasted (so ‘judgy’ her mother would say) but she can’t help it.

Once again, Newman doesn’t answer, but they do bury their face deeper into Fiama. It takes her by surprise; they have always seemed so unaffected by everything…

She hugs them tight and says the only thing she can think of, “I’m here, babe. And I’ll always be. I don’t know what or who is making you feel like this, but you aren’t alone. I’m with you.” She kisses the top of their head, murmuring every promise she knows she can keep.

A few minutes later, Newman is fast asleep again.

---

Sleeping next to another person in a bed that wasn’t made to be shared by two adults is uncomfortable, but it was late and Newman hadn’t brought their bike, ignoring that Joaquin’s car was at the shop, and Lucia had taken hers that night.

It’s ok, Jonny thinks to himself while he stares at the ceiling, we’ll just wait until my folks leave for work tomorrow. It doesn’t have to get awkward for anyone.

When was the last time he’d shared a bed? Probably when he was around twelve and Quino got scared by a storm and woke him up in the middle of the night, cold hands slipping under the sheets and touching the back of his neck. Dumbass always did the same thing, no matter how many times Jonny punched him to dissuade him. Of course Jonny could never stay mad at his twin for long, and they would share the bed in the end—Jonny grousing about Quino’s cold hands and Quino whining about Jonny hogging the covers.

As if invoking his brother, he feels hands around his neck now; cold, sweaty hands. Even though they don't belong to Quino, the way they’re clinging to him is pretty reminiscent of the way his twin used to squeeze him whenever lightning stroke too close.

“Are you ok?” he asks stupidly. Of course they aren’t; Newman is scared. “What is it?” he tries again, but Newman says nothing, they only keep tightening their grasp around Jonny. He takes their hands and tries to free himself. “Newman, you’re going to choke me.”

Slowly, those cold fingers loosen, giving him a chance to sit up.

“Don’t go!”

“Hush,” Jonny hisses. “Damn it, Newman. Remember we aren’t alone.” He takes the hand that is now gripping the front of his shirt and tries to hold it, but Newman doesn’t budge. “Please,” he whispers.

“Don’t go,” it’s the barely audible plea he gets as a reply.

“I won’t,” he assures them. After another second, Newman lets go, and Jonny takes the hand and gently rubs it between his. “Come here,” he whispers, and Newman doesn’t need to be told twice. They get between his legs and rest on their side and against Jonny’s chest. Jonny takes the covers and pulls them over both of them, and there, with an arm around Newman’s shoulder, he can feel their muscles begin to slowly relax.

---

Roach didn’t usually do this; lying down in bed while their conquests sleep. They had realized that there was so much one could do to pass the time, and watching people drooling was amusing just the first dozen times.

They turn another page of the magazine they stole from that gas station three towns over, the one with the old, balding clerk that had given Roach the evil eye from the moment they dared to set a foot in his territory.

The light is off but that’s ok because Roach doesn’t need it to read, the same way they don’t need it to sneak glances at Newman’s sleeping form. It’s something they do, they tell themself, to pass the time, and not because Newman’s face is nice to look at or anything like that. They aren’t expecting to find their companion awake the next time they look their way, least of all with a terrified look set on their face.

Roach opens their mouth to ask what’s going on, but the words die out as they are wrapped in a tight embrace. The fact that they were so distracted by Newman’s expression that their reflexes vanished for a hot minute, says something. Something Roach doesn’t want to acknowledge right now, so they don’t. Instead, they let their body go limp in Newman’s arms, let them squeeze and squash until they seem to come out of their trance.

“R-Roach?”

“Yes?” they ask in return.

“Are you… ok?”

Roach wriggles to put some distance between Newman and them—as much as their companion’s steel grip allows, anyway—and runs a hand over Newman’s face, wiping off the sweat. “Just a couple broken ribs,” they say, “I’ll live. What about you? What had you panicking like this?”

Newman retracts from those words like a shy snail. It really takes Roach by surprise. They can’t think of many things that might scare Newman, which at least makes the list of suspects quite short.

“Hey,” they whisper in a way that they hope sounds both unaffected and reassuring, “I would know, remember? There’s only you and me here, no third roommate. You can relax.”

Their words, true as they are, do very little to calm Newman down, so Roach sighs and nuzzles against their jaw. “Squeeze away then,” they mutter and kiss Newman’s skin. “I’ll be the prettiest stress ball you’ll ever have.”

---

It isn’t a gentle awakening. Horizon’s muddled thoughts crash into one another as the Domini unsuccessfully tries to slip away from the tight embrace they are being subjected to. What’s going on? their mind asks, half asleep, half panicking.

Memories from last night come back to them as if slogging through a swamp; they remember having dinner with Newman, chatting and somehow ending up in bed together. They remember the tenderness of the moment, the way they felt like they could melt as Newman and they cuddled together...

Horizon strains their neck trying to look over their shoulder, but even with the rays of moonlight seeping through the window, the only thing they have an eyeful of it’s their own dark curls. Newman’s chest is pressed against Horizon’s back and now that the Domini is fully awake, they can feel the other’s racing heartbeat. It scares Horizon, it makes them want to ask what’s going on, what happened to Newman, what, what, what…

They fight those urges. They take a deep breath, find one of Newman’s hands and softly cover it with theirs. “You are in my cabin,” they whisper, “you are in ranch 48, in Luna Ridge. We had diner and I asked you to spend the night. Remember that?”

There’s a long pause, then Horizon feels them nodding against their back. A couple seconds later the iron grip eases up. It gives the Domini a chance to turn around, and very gently press their forehead against Newman’s damp one. “Deep breaths,” they whisper and then are doing just that, hoping Newman will follow their example. An instant later, they are.

Feeling Newman’s muscles relax as they get their breathing under control brings a smile to the Domini’s face.

#ask #tp fiama #tp jonny #tp roach #tp horizon

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