#i had given up on it frankly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autumnhobbit · 2 years

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#going for a second interview at this company feels a lot like religion at this point #namely: you can't prepare because they don't do it like other people #you have no fuckin clue what they're gonna say who's gonna be there what questions they'll ask what they care about #& have no idea how much if any you'll be able to talk #& when you're done you will likely have no idea how you did #i went in like the last day of january & they only called me back now #but it was one of the co-owners instead of hr asking me if i'd found a job yet & asking me to come in #so i will #i had given up on it frankly #don't want to get too invested so we shall see if anything happens #(i say that & yet i'm spiraling inside with all sorts of paranoias about our relationship & the shortness of life & the question of kids #idk.#in a lot of ways the last few years feel like they've turned me on my head & i have no idea who i am anymore or what i want #i have moments of passion & determination but not many & it often feels pointless #i feel helpless to do any of the things i really want to #maybe money will change that & maybe not #all i know is i need a change but i'm terrified of it all the same #i wish i could get over existentialing to death in every phase of my life #and not realizing how good it is/appreciating it until it's over

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jueying · 4 months

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i would much rather have a cohesive outfit vs a super elaborate one for the sake of being elaborate.

both yunli and jiaoqiu have outfits that fit their themes and roles - yunli's has roots in actual tang dynasty dancer designs and jiaoqiu's clothing being more uniform-esque given his position as an actual counselor makes sense. i do see the point that they're both five stars but also, i think hsr designs for both 4 and 5 stars have had similar levels of care and design so the distinction between the two - at least design wise (and tbh sometimes kit wise) is much smaller than most other games.

either way, super excited for both!

#;ooc #//i think i'm still a little disappointed when it comes to the somewhat lack of cohesion when it comes to wuwa outfits given that pgr had #//some banger designs and so much of it is being taken away bc of the cn fandom among other issues #//and tbh at least on twitter im really disappointed in frankly the casual ra/cism that pops up sometimes when it comes to the xianzhou #//it's one thing if you're disappointed in the luofu story but to attribute it to other things completely unrelated makes u a real shithead

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thecedarchronicle · 2 months

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#VENT #VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours #they asked if i could do 30 #and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max #now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least #and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college #but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything #and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse #whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly #i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me #has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no #he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING #im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist #he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl #and to top it all off #i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked #because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent #nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard #and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to #turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely

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paldogangsaan · 2 months

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lowkey the writers insisting on intertwining alicent and rhaenyra + hotd 'being a story abt them' is probably like,,, the source of over half their problems

#aging alicent down was a mistake and it shows #no it doesn't make sense for alicent to suddenly abandon her children to go see rhaenyra #it doesn't make sense for rhaenyra to go see alicent in king's landing or seemingly want peace bc alicent is on the other side #'but they were friends as kids' and friends grow apart. which rhaenyra and alicent clearly did. so what now #alicent has given rhaenyra zero reasons to care for her or her wellbeing. from never shutting the fuck up abt her children possibly being #bastards to purposefully sowing discord between their children to pretending peace is possible after usurping her throne and killing her so #like that one council member who was like 'ofc she hasn't answered your letters. her son is dead' had the most common sense #and whatever you feel abt the incident where aemond's eye was cut out. you can't deny the biggest contribution to it happening was #bc alicent told her children that rhaenyra would have them killed when she got to the throne. and hamered this point in by hitting aegon #and frankly i don't really think alicent cared abt rhaenyra during the timeskip either. why would she suddenly care what rhaenyra thought o #her. if she's such a threat to her kids why would she want her around or want peace with her #if alicent truly wanted peace jace and helaena marrying was enough but she chose to not let it happen so why would she care abt peace NOW #the show's reducing them to passive victims of men with zero agency when their book selves would be taking charge #rhaenyra would cut off her council's tongues for the way they've spoken to her in the past few eps #the writing is making them both look like idiots and the show is suffering severely bc of it #and being like 'well they're gay and stupid' 'they're in love and that's why they make stupid choices' yall only say that to cope #a stupid writing choice is a stupid writing choice no matter how you try to frame it #hotd #house of the dragon #anti hotd

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outlanderalien · 1 year

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Everyone arguing about whether Giselle is trans or not, or whether trans people should claim her or not due to her being a sadistic pervert forget one crucial thing:

I love her <3

#bleach #giselle gewelle #Mayuri is my fave so imagine my joy when they made a cute girl who's also sadistic and perverse and trans and then had the two fight.#I feel so catered to. Irredeemably fucked up LGBT are my fave I want to collect them.#Frankly it's her god-given right to be insane. Good for her.#I'm done hand-wringing about evil characters being LGBT and whether that's okay or not. Let the gays go ape-shit. I'm tired of being nice.#giselle beloved

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yeonban · 17 days

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It's always intriguing for me to watch Tobias interact with fellow cold-hearted criminals bc if he deems them fun (*rare)? And worse, if the other party involved isn't fun (*often)? Chances are he will not intervene in whatever that criminal is about to do. When he does intervene in things, it's never out of pity or a wish to save others (<-that's Elijah). He only ever helps people bc he's deemed them amusing, bc he was already pursuing the guilty party so he might as well get the potential collateral out of the way, or bc someone he likes wants him to. There's no question of morals intervening, he doesn't care! He only gaf about certain people and what they want. If they want to save someone? He'll do it flawlessly and in a heartbeat. If they don't want to or couldn't care less about it? Don't expect him to spare the other person a glance again.

#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#child abuse /#For the tags below!#Post brought to you by the random video I chanced on while eating which included the scene where Johan almost manages to #get a tiny child to off himself (<-the one he sent to wander the red light district in search of his mom who abandoned him)#and frankly the lack of damns Tobias gave while watching that scene was bewildering 😭#The thing w him and kids is he doesn't really care but he'd go out of his way to help /if/ they still had that spark of 'I want to live'#in their eyes. Not the same can be said about the kids who've given up tho. Those he has absolutely ZERO interest in saving #Again! This is why having sb with morals/who's kind to others around him is basically doing the lord's work!!#Tobias might not care about the person in danger but he Does care about potentially upsetting someone he likes #Very insane way of looking at things but yk whatever works as long as it gets this damn guy to intervene

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technicolorxsn · 5 months

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hm

#someones asking me for advice that quite frankly idk how to give and am definitely not qualified for #but it does sorta make me think #i think people are bad at calling people on shit and also being compassionate #it seems people choose one or the other; either be completely aggressive and accusatory or be a total doormat #but like. neither of those are condusive to anything #you can acknowledge why someone is doing what theyre doing *and* why what they're doing sucks #and you can tell them this without being aggressive #i feel like ive always had trouble with doing it but idk #when i have been able to cool off and been given space to think i think ive been better abt it #i think being able to think about how you feel; what you would like (within reason); and how to communicate and achieve that is a valuable #skill #tbh i think my main issue these days is idk how to do that with ppl im not close with #theres a handful of peers in my daily life that keep doing shit that kinda gets under my skin and idk how to say “knock it off”#in a way that both isnt aggressive and doesnt make me sound weird #but also jfc knock if off and grow up #ig ill just keep trying to ignore it

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genderfluid-druid · 1 year

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finally learning emotional intelligence as an adult in my 30s feels like playing with goddamn tinker toys while i watch other people my age building these beautiful emotional ecosystems out of hand carved mahogany. but the alternative is to continue being glib and dismissive of every emotion i experience for the rest of my life so 👍 pass me that green rod i guess. and do you see any more hubs

#at some point last fall i visited my parents and was telling them about my plants #i had just bought a nerve plant aka fittonia #i got her because nerve plants are famous for wilting dramatically when their water conditions aren't just right #i thought it was interesting and funny and maybe a good way to keep an eye on my plant area. catch any moisture problems early #bit of a canary in a coal mine idea you know #anyway i told my parents about this plant #and they kind of laughed and rolled their eyes about this plant being so dramatic #and I said no. you see. i like a plant that communicates its needs #and i swear to God #i could See the thought passing through their eyes for the first time #that that might be a good thing #oh i think I'm gonna scream actually #DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS I SUFFERED CRIPPLING PERIOD CRAMPS EVERY GODDAMN MONTH AND NEVER TOLD ANYONE #by the way. nerve plants are fine after you water them. once you fix the problem they perk right back up again #my parents did their best. and frankly i think there's someone to be said that they raised an autistic child without traumatizing me #my depression and shit didn't appear until high school when i had to start interacting with the wider more complex world in earnest #and didn't have the tools for it #but my childhood of being given art supplies and left to my own devices was pretty chill #but i do wish unhappiness and discomfort hadn't been. like. something to be avoided or fixed immediately so no one had to talk about it #anyway. the birdcage is a good movie

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 9 months

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#cnn just had a special about the shake it off lawsuit #which I’d never really read up on #and while I absolutely don’t believe that Taylor plagiarized the person’s song #and could absolutely believe she’d never heard of it #(cnn pundits: this song was everywhere! it was a hit! it was always on TRL!)#(me around the same age: legitimately have never heard of these people)#I kinda feel the professional thing for her to do would have been to credit them regardless once it was known #the same way she did right said Fred for lyymmd #or the way OR ended up having to for DV #because I feel like there’s more similarity between the complainant’s song and sio #than there is between CS and DV #(read: not much at all)#especially given the optics of the power dynamic and communities involved #and while I don’t know the details and frankly cnn’s reporting was incredibly flawed and didn’t answer its own thesis #I’m assuming because it was dismissed/settled out of court/NDAs involved etc #and I’m sure Taylor’s team held fast because they don’t want to open the door to future suits for other songs and become a target #for people wanting to make a quick buck and exploit her fame #but the one good point they made was that giving 50% credit or whatever would be a drop in the bucket for her but go a long way to support #artists protecting their work and especially African-American artists whose work has been historically diminished and stolen #especially when she’d later set the precedent for her work herself with lwymmd and on the flip side with OR #idk as a swiftie the obvious angle of the episode was irritating because they definitely had an agenda #but that doesn’t mean that points weren’t made #tag novel

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theduchessofnaxos · 10 months

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This paper is actually going quite well.

Too bad it's complete bullshit.

#I'm not lying #but I'm definitely not being brutally honest about the historiography here #look the first few works are technically all social histories but there's a qualitative difference from the later ones #and the politics is still important enough that I should get to call them political histories #Also frankly I don't care #I just need to finish the damn paper by midnight and then I will be free of this fucking course #I have never in my LIFE dreaded going to class before this course #And honestly? It's soul crushing! I have no will to succeed here!#My only motivation is that I liked the rest of the semester and I need to pass this class to continue the program!#the professor asked for an additional evaluation (still anonymous) and I'm torn about how brutal to be #because on the one hand it was an enlightening course and I am definitely better equipped as a historian than I was three months ago.#on the other hand every single one of my classmates had completely given up by the end because no matter what we did it wasn't good enough #and also the professor was just fucking mean a whole bunch. But in that subtle way where you feel crazy for noticing.#so the class was horrible but I don't want him to feel horrible but also maybe he deserves it??? I can't even tell if he's actually a dick #or just acts like one #which is perhaps not a meaningful distinction but if he doesn't mean to I'd feel bad being too harsh #though several incidents make me think he meant to #blegh. It'll all be over by midnight!#And then I can focus on studying for women's history and - joy of joys - writing a syllabus about Victorian fashion and politics #I fucking love historical fashion that's going to be absurdly fun

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wonder-worker · 10 months

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What are your favorite Plantagenet-related novels, and why do you love them?

Hi! I'm so sorry, I don't read lots of medieval English historical fiction, and the ones I have read are pretty terrible (three guesses which).

Once again: sorry! If anyone else has any recommendations, feel free to share them!

#ask #I've heard that Sharon Kay Penman's Plantagenet trilogy is pretty good? I haven't read it though so I can't say #'The Sunne in Splendour' (Penman's WotR book) was absolutely terrible though #It has all the hallmarks of a classic Ricardian novel. It IS one of the classic Ricardian novels I think?#Richard is an entirely innocent selfless righteous man with a glorious and divinely-blessed reign who's the victim in every situation #Isabel Neville was treated awfully. Margaret of Anjou was treated awfully #Elizabeth Woodville was somehow treated worse than both of them combined and was ridiculously sexualized on top of it #Penman's tagline for her should've honestly been 'You thought THIS character was bad? Never fear - Elizabeth Woodville is 10x worse!'#The book goes out of its way to emphasize how she was the worst thing to ever happen to England; how the Woodvilles made the 1450s look #like 'petty squabbling'; how Elizabeth made Margaret of Anjou look like a 'veritable saint by comparison'#also I distinctly remember her own husband yelling at her that she would sleep with a leper if it meant her becoming queen #This line just about sums it up: 'Warwick doubted there had ever been a Queen as little liked as the woman Edward had taken as his wife'#I'm like 99% sure that Cersei Lannister was primarily based off Penman's Elizabeth. The similarities are uncanny #Though Cersei is nonetheless treated better and given infinitely more depth than Elizabeth was - that's how badly she was depicted #I want to call her a Disney villain on steroids but frankly that would be inaccurate because even they are given more respect #I was always interested in Elizabeth but this book was one of the main reasons I became so defensive of her #What else...?#Penman's characterizations of Thomas Gray and Edward of Lancaster were pretty on par with classic Ricardian novels so I wasn't surprised #(though I will say that despite Edward of Lancaster being treated terribly he was still afforded more depth and sympathy than Thomas was)#What did surprise me was the fact that she wrote ANTHONY WOODVILLE as a violent scheming thug. Yes really #Honestly anyone remotely related to the Woodvilles is portrayed as cartonnishly evil #And EDWARD V oh god. This 12-year old kid is depicted as a cold cruel capricious tyrant who's more Woodville than royal (classism anyone?)#I'm 99% sure Joffrey Baratheon was based off Penman's portrayal of him. His dynamic with Elizabeth certainly matches Cersei's with Joffrey'#... anyway this rant has nothing to do with anon's question #sorry

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heirbane · 1 year

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S.hadowbringers gaius is held in my heart in the same place as t.lou2 j.oel and I think that explains a lot

#what a flawed masterpiece #deeply deeply flawed male characters who know they did wrong but aren't 100% able to repent #or admit what they did truly. j.oel did admit but commited to his morals - which isnt a mark against him #g.aius admits what he did but struggles to find ways to make things right - because honestly nothing will. nothing can. he has caused #death and suffering by what he did. j.oel caused - may have caused - the world to stay stagnant by his choices too #frankly the fact that we adore j.oel and are so fiercely protective of e.llie is SO INTERESTING TO ME #because g.aius is joel. g.aius Did what he thought was best and both their daughters suffered irreparably #the only difference is g.aius is a.bby adjacent to us bc we were given him as an irredeemable villain.#I just fucking love unreliable narratives because if we had spent as much time as a.bby and had a whole game to understand #her grief and growing up we WOULD be on her side. what she did was wrong. what j.oel did was wrong. what they both did was wrong #but they are portrayed differently due to the coin side they're on and the way the story tried to convince u one was justified and one was -#just unhinged #ANYWAY.Z #tlou2 tw

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zarnzarn · 1 year

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I love having a mental break, flat out cracked moment, fucked up as hell- and then having to snap out of it not even ten minutes in because my mom is outside having a bigger, more dangerous cracked moment and my sister is screaming in fear

#tw vent #it was soooo bad lmao i was straight catatonic and mumbling and unfocused and whispering and singing like an asylum patient from old movie #but the part that irks more that the majority of HER breakdown is that i wasn't breaking out of MY MENTAL CRACK to reassure HER abt a fight #frankly i needed that moment. ive been sick for four days at that point eith her screaning at me the whole time. i needed to be insane.#but no shes crawling on the floor and screaming for death and sister in tears and dad making the cruelest remarks who else can go to help #i had to literally STOP HAVING A BREAKDOWN to HELP EITH HERS #not to mention i was given ten different pieces of fucjed up information abt the family soon after #tw violence and that her standard for violence was at least the parents dont pull knives on themselves and make the kids wrestle it away #you know where this example is from???? MY FIRST COUSIN. MY UNCLE. DAMN U THINK GENETICS MAY NOT PLAY A ROLE HERE OR SOMETHING??#but anyway! guess i can finally join the club of traumatized therapist elder daughters now

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laufire · 2 years

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I’ll always side-eye everyone for using the argument that the Delena sire bond only happened because of Elena having “human feelings” before she turned because like. okay. nobody’s denying that she did. but she kept choosing not to be with him despite them. THAT is the choice that mattered and should’ve received respect. the sire bond took it away, which is why it was a breach of consent (aka rape. it was fucking rape).

I kinda wish there had been a plot for unsired!Elena facing that but... I do think it would’ve been against her nature to do such a thing (which is why I kinda want to tackle a post-series AU idea I had but that’s neither here nor there).

but frankly, it’s hard for me to muster as much sympathy as I could in the same episode where she throws in Caroline’s face that she “jumped right into bed with [Damon]” and says she was excited to gossip about her hookup with Damon in front of his rape victim. that’s not the sire bond, Elena has proved time and time again that’s just her personality xDD

#and frankly? fuck bonnie ''straddling the fence'' bennett in this episode too #she only spoke up and finally gave a fuck when it turned out *elena* had slept with damon and *elena* was sired to him #for caroline? not one single fuck given rme #continuosly trying to shut her up to ~keep the peace too ¬¬#stackediaries #talking to the void #my thoughts #plecverse thoughts #the vampire diaries #plecverse #tvd 4x08 #antidelena for ts #antielenagilbert for ts #antibonniebennett for ts #not a tag i ever expected to use but when the daroline of it all comes up like here or in season 1 i do judge xDD #you can filter it if you want but i don't expect to ever use it again lol

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suchplausibilities · 1 year

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I could have sworn that they said that Jessica Drew was going to be in Across the Spiderverse, but all I saw was this blank placeholder with no actual story or personality, and was only notable in her being a person of color with natural hair.

Sony must have put out an unfinished draft. Super unprofessional.

#truthfully #I can think of several reasons why they would be determined to put jess in the movie and then proceed to do as little with her as possible #especially given that she’s is another character that’s stuck in the Sony-Marvel tug of war #but I am no less annoyed #until someone does more with her this is how people are going to picture her #and I’m not cool with that #also don’t roll up in here telling me she uses webs and had a canon moment of someone important dying that turned her into Spider-Woman #cause I know Jessica drew #and neither of those things are part of her whole deal #and frankly she would be annoyed that people thought it was #admittedly she’s always annoyed #but the point still stands #jessica drew #across the spiderverse

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tacit-semantics · 2 months

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HATE acclimating to new spaces just me and my miserable lamplight sandwich and the sea of various bins like yeah this is fine (!!)

#the lamp is a desk lamp it’s on the floor. anyways I’ve given up frankly I’ve had worse days. worse sandwiches #have work tomorrow another pharmacy shift. not doing all that well at work lately because I’m having trouble talking again (lack of sleep #stress or both god knows) and I’m gonna be real. neuroses soup has me acting downright bizarre lately. freckle on the back of my hand is #continuously sending me to near hysterics kinda bizarre things are getting. weird.#well it’ll work itself through or it won’t I guess. I’ll just #deal I guess??? feel SICK and STRANGE and FRIGHTENED ugh #tacit rambles #vent #food mention #edited

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