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amazingmsme · 3 months

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Hello! I need medication for life to prevent my lungs from collapsing, this implies permanent treatment with steroids, oxygen therapy, control of oxygen in the blood and antibiotics to prevent the development of bacteria in the lungs.

I'm afraid I have to insist on this because it may be the only way to get my treatment.

I need medication for life to keep my lungs from collapsing, this costs around $700 per month.

Things are really tough on me,I can’t afford. Please donate🖤

Hello to all my followers, I really hope y’all don’t think I’m being too harsh on this person, but I feel like yall deserve nothing but full transparency, but in the age of lies & deception, it’s imperative that you look at everything with a level of scrutiny & not take it at face value, even if you yourself have good intentions & want to help people. But the fact of the matter is this: it’s never been easier to lie on the internet & play on the heartstrings of strangers

If you really are dealing with this, I’m so terribly sorry & I hope you’re able to receive treatment. I know first hand how horrible it is to have to deal with medical expenses on top of fighting just to live. My medicine that I have to get every 2 months is thousands of dollars & the medical care system is beyond fucked, so I absolutely get it if you need the funds

All that being said, it is very important to note that this isn’t the first post like this I’ve received in my inbox. The first 2 times it was someone asking for money to help pay for their cat’s surgery. On the surface, it looks legit, the pinned post explains the situation & has a picture of their cat. Within minutes of posting, I get another ask from a follower warning me not to fall for it & that it was a scam. I checked it out for myself, & the blog that only been existent for barely a day, same with the second account

You can understand my skepticism when an account I’ve never heard of sends me a message asking me & my followers to donate. Needless to say this skepticism only grew when I checked out the blog & saw it only goes back as far as 2 days, with lots of reblogged posts to fill up space to hopefully make it seem like a legit blog. (I know this is just speculation, but it is just way too similar to the others for me not to take notice. It’s all just real fishy to me) Add in the fact they sent this exact message within hours of each other & is a straight copy & paste of the pinned post, & it just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It just seems very different from the legitimate donation request posts I’ve seen on here, & with the influx of bots & scammers on new accounts, it’s just best to air on the side of caution

Again, if you really are suffering from this I’m incredibly sorry & I really do hope you’re able to afford your treatment, but there are better ways to go about fundraising than going into a random stranger’s askbox, because at the end of the day it just makes you look real sus. There are medical assistance funds that you can apply for & they help to cover insurance co-pay & help you to get & pay for insurance if you don’t have any. I know that things can seem hopeless, but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel & people who have the means to help

#asks #anon ask #possible scam #everyone i’ve talked to about this says it’s real fishy & i’m trusting my gut on this #think critically y’all #look at everything with some degree of skepticism

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tj-is-down · 2 years

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A Quest for the Missing Henderson - Steve Harrington

Hey guys! Here's another Steve fic. Let me know what you think!

Summary: When you think Dustin goes missing, you team up with Steve Harrington, his rival babysitter, to find him. (frenemies to lovers-ish?)

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: Just some swearing here and there! (This is spoiler free! It's probably set during s4 just because I give Dustin the age 14 and Eddie Munson is mentioned, but otherwise it can take place whenever.)

Steve and I are not exactly friends. We aren’t exactly not friends, but neither of us would classify the other as such, at least not out loud. We’ve known each other since kindergarten, being next-door neighbors and all, but had never gotten close, and that was fine. At least, it was for me. There was a time when I wanted to be close with Steve, and do all the things that friends did, but that all changed in high school, when he became the King of Hawkins. I heard his truck rumble every night, saw the girls he brought home when his parents weren’t around, and even went to a few of his parties when he bothered to invite me. He had quite the reputation in Hawkins; everyone knew who Steve was and what the people he dated were like. I didn’t fit that mold, and I’ve been thankful.

After high school, Steve’s reputation changed, and I kind of felt bad for him. He has a job I know he hates and he has almost no friends, spending most of his time babysitting his ex-girlfriend’s younger brother and his friends. I can’t pity him too much, though, since I often find myself in the exact same position. As Dustin Henderson’s actual, official babysitter, I see him and his friends quite a bit, which more often than not includes Steve, and on the rarer occasion, Robin. Steve’s always stepping on my toes, convinced that he’s Dustin’s legitimate babysitter—or at least the one Dustin likes more—and is always trying to start an argument with me. He likes crawling under my skin, and he’s good at it, as much as I hate to admit it.

Take tonight, for example.

I was supposed to be babysitting Dustin, along with a few of the others in his crew, playing Dungeons and Dragons in my basement like they did when the Wheelers’ house was unavailable. Dustin’s mom told me he was going to be riding his bike to my house, something he did often when she was in a rush to get to work. He was supposed to arrive at 5, but when the doorbell hadn’t rung by 5:15, I started to get worried. I walked outside, peering up the street to see if he was there, but when I didn’t see his hat approaching over the hill or hear the sound of his bicycle, I went back inside.

I called his house. Maybe his mom had decided not to go to work today, or found someone else to babysit. Maybe Dustin was just taking his time, and hadn’t left the house yet. Either way, I was expecting someone to answer, so I was surprised when the line kept ringing and nobody picked up. I called both the Byers and Sinclairs, but had no luck at either.

I was starting to get nervous, before I heard the all too familiar sound of a truck pulling into the driveway of the house next door.

I marched over there and banged on the door, certain that Steve’s parents weren’t home. Dustin’s bike was nowhere to be seen, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t here. Steve could have picked him up for all I knew.

Steve answered the door with a frown. “Can I help you, L/N?”

I pushed past him and into the house, ignoring his exasperated, “What are you doing?”

“I know he’s here!”

“Who’s here?”

“Dustin. You know, about this high, curly hair, worships you?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting him today? Don’t tell me you’ve lost him.” Steve smirked, like he was ready to say something pompous, but I cut him off.

“I didn’t lose him, you took him,” I said, pointing a finger at his chest. “Where is he?”

He spreads his arms wide. “Look around. Do you see him? No? Okay. There you go, you can leave now.” He ushered me out the door, standing in the doorway when I turned around.

“Wait, he’s seriously not here?” I asked. My brain started to panic. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit! What if something bad happened, Steve? What if something got him?” I started to cry, sniffling as I thought about all the bad things we’ve seen the past few years and what creature or nutjob could’ve gotten him.

“Y/N, relax, okay? He’s probably at Lucas or Will’s, okay? Why don’t you call them?” His voice softened, and I could tell he wasn’t being funny anymore.

“I already called both, he’s not there,” I said, looking up at him. “What should I do, Steve?”

He took a deep breath, thinking. “Let me grab my keys, alright? We’ll drive around and look for him. When he comes back safe and sound, then I’m the first to say ‘I told you so.’ Sound like a plan?”

That’s how I ended up here, in the passenger seat of Steve Harrington’s car, driving around Hawkins in search of a fourteen-year-old boy.

Our first stop is Family Video. Robin looks surprised to see us, and even more surprised when we tell her why we’re there.

“You two are looking for Dustin, together?” She asks incredulously. “I figure you’d make it a race, or competition, or something.”

“Yeah, well, Y/N over here was crying, so I figured I’d be a gentleman and help ‘em out.” Steve puts a hand on my shoulder, but I push him off.

“Fuck off, Harrington,” I say before turning back to Robin. “Have you seen him anywhere?”

“Not today,” she replies. “But, you guys do know he has friends his own age, right? Have you tried asking them?”

“Most of them, yeah,” Steve says.

“Most of them?”

“Well, I didn’t call the Wheelers, cause I don’t like talking to their dad. And I don’t have Max’s mom’s phone number, and I didn’t want to call Joyce Wheeler because I’m worried she’ll freak out after what happened to Will,” I say. “I’m sure he’s fine. I just want to find him before alarming anyone.”

“Why don’t we go to the Wheeler’s and Max’s and Will’s and see if he’s there, okay? We’ll see if his bike is there, and if it is, then we’ll knock on the door, okay? If it’s not there then we know he’s not,” Steve says. I nod my head. “Alright, let’s go, then.”

I start to follow him out the door but stop when I look back and see the look on Robin’s face. “What?” I ask.

She shakes her head, smirking. “Nothing.”

Steve turns back and grabs my hand, pulling me oht of the store. “Come on, slowpoke.”

He’s not at Mike’s or Will’s, so our last stop is Max’s. We pull up to her house, but it’s dark by the time we get there and her streetlight is out.

“Can you see his bike?” I ask, leaning over in front of him.

“No.” He looks at me. “You ever heard of personal space?”

“Sorry.”

He laughs. “I’m just messing with you. Get as close as you want, I just got new cologne.”

“Fuck off,” I say, jerking my head back. “You’re the worst, Harrington.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he waves me off. “So, question: why’ve you been spending so much time with Eddie Munson lately?”

I look over at him, confused. “How do you know that?”

He shrugs. “Dustin told me. You and Eddie are quite the pair, I hear. You guys summoning Satan and all that jazz?”

I punch his shoulder. “No. And even if we were, it’s none of your business.”

“Why isn’t it my business?”

“Why should it be your business what guys I hang out with? We’re not friends.”

He feigns pain. “Ouch. Y/N, that really hurts my feelings. Here I am, driving you around in my car, so you don’t get in trouble for losing the kid, and yet, according to you, we’re not friends. Why is that?”

“Why is what?”

“Why aren’t we friends?”

I scoff and roll my eyes. “Please. Have you met yourself? You’ve got the biggest ego around! You don’t have time for friends, you’re too busy caring about yourself.”

“Alright, so, I could use a bit of an attitude adjustment; sue me. But I’ve got friends,” he adds. “Like Dustin--”

“He’s fourteen, Steve. Any friends your own age?”

“What about Robin?”

“Robin’s different,” I say. “You guys are such good friends because there’s no way she could ever like you. You’re not wasting your time trying to impress her, or get her to go on a date with you.”

“So?”

“So,” I say, “we’re not like that.”

“What do you mean? You’re saying we can’t be friends like Robin and I are friends because…” His eyes widen, first in confusion and then in realization. “Holy shit. You like me!”

“Excuse me?” I ask incredulously. “How did you get that from what I just said?”

“You said that you and I can’t be friends the way Robin and I are friends because there’s no way that Robin could like me. It’s totally impossible. But there’s a chance that you could like me; more than a chance, really, cause you do!”

“Yeah, right. There’s not a chance in hell, Harrington.”

He points his finger at me. “And all that, too. All this teasing me to hide how you actually feel about me. ‘You’re the worst, Steve Harrington, I totally hate you.’” He alters his voice to match mine and fakes sarcasm; it’s a poor imitation, but enough to get a rise out of me.

“I don’t sound like that.”

“‘I don’t sound like that,’” he continues. I frown, and his smirk grows bigger. “You’ve got it bad for me.”

“I really don’t.”

“You don’t?” He quirks an eyebrow. “Prove it.”

“Gladly.”

“Say it, then.”

“Say what?”

“Say, ‘I totally don’t have a crush on you, Steve Harrington.’”

I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes, making sure not to blink. “I totally don’t have a crush on you, Steve Harrington.”

He nods, refusing to break eye contact. “Great. Now say it again, but this time make it sound convincing.”

I scoff. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I am. That was total bullshit! You wanna know how I know?”

You throw your hands in the air for dramatic effect. “I give up. How do you ‘know that I have a crush on you?’” I put air quotes around the phrase, ensuring he understands that I’m quoting him and not speaking for myself.

“Alright. Try this experiment with me, okay?”

He starts moving closer, leaning his head in towards mine.

I move my head back suddenly, confused. “What are you doing?”

“Kissing you,” he says, leaning closer. “Or, trying to. But here’s the thing: I believe in consent, alright? I’m the king of consent. So, you tell me to stop, and I’ll stop. I’ll drop it, and we can pretend like this never happened, and I’ll leave you alone forever.” He closes his eyes and gets closer. “Just tell me and I’ll stop.”

I’m not sure what to do. When I was in high school, this was all I wanted. To be friends with Steve, to be noticed by Steve, to be with Steve. I thought that all changed when we graduated, but here I am, sitting in his car, about to kiss him. And the most confusing part is that I want to. “Steve,” I breathe, and his eyes burst open, concern on his face. He searches my face for any sign of emotion, but I just smile. “Don’t stop.”

That’s all the confirmation he needs, because his lips are on mine instantaneously. We move back and forth, establishing a rhythm, taking small but necessary breaths in between.

“I knew it,” he says after a few minutes. “You’ve got it so bad for me, dude.”

“Mhm,” I mumble in between kissing him. “Sure you did, smartass. You didn’t know anything until I let you know.”

“Yeah, right. You totally slipped up, and you know it. If I weren’t as smart as I am, we’d still be sitting here, talking about all the things you hate about me. Well, all the things you like about me, come to find out.”

“Shut up, Harrington.”

“Shut up, Harrington,” he mocks me.

The two of us start bickering again, not noticing the gang coming down the street to Max’s house until there’s a knock on Steve’s window.

“What are you guys doing here?” Dustin asks as Steve rolls down his window.

“Looking for you, asshole!” I shout, getting out of the car. “Where were you?”

“At the Byers’ house. We’re just dropping Max off. My mom didn’t tell you?”

“No! I thought something bad happened to you!” I take his bike out of his hands and put it in the bed of Steve’s truck. “Let’s go, I’m taking you home.”

“I can ride home--”

“Nope.”

“Y/N--”

“Get in the car, Henderson,” I say, walking around the truck and sitting back in the passenger seat. Steve looks over at me, a smile on his face. “What?” I ask.

“You’re cute when you’re trying to take charge.”

“I hate you,”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, Y/N,” Dustin says, interrupting our conversation. “Eddie teach you the ways of D&D yet?”

Steve looks at me, a teasing look on his face. “That’s why the two of you have been spending so much time together lately? He’s teaching you D&D?”

“I want to learn so I can help out the kids. You got a problem with that?” I ask.

“Absolutely I do. I can’t be seen dating a nerd like you,” he says, chuckling.

“Who said anything about dating?”

“Oh, so you make out with guys you have no intention of dating?”

“That’s none of your business, Harrington.”

“Will you just shut up and say you’re gonna date me already?”

I laugh. “You’ve got it bad for me, dude.”

“I really do.” He reaches out to hold my hand. I take it.

“So when did this happen?” Dustin asks from the back. “I gotta go missing more often.”

“Shut it, Henderson!”

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington fic

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papirouge · 1 year

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papi, I keep hearing about how evil women who want divorce will learn what it means to be lonely but most divorced women I know seem happy to be single or if they do pursue romantic partners, they don't end up marrying them. meanwhile divorced men are far likelier to remarry

a lot of this rhetoric just sounds like a cope, like most manosphere stuff is. like they'll assume every woman seeking divorce is doing it for entirely selfish reasons and take great (and perverse) delight in thinking of her being miserable somewhere down the line. I am sorry but what sex has entire movements obsessing about being miserable and lonely? most women's movements are about looking forward and improving themselves and society, or about being away from men, men's movements meanwhile seem very vindictive and focused on punishing women for not wanting to be around them anymore. it's like MGTOW... most MGTOW and MGTOW-adjacent social media content I ever see are about how mad women make them lmao and you could say the same for feminism, but at least that's grounded in women having grievances against male-run civilizations treating women poorly. the manosphere has like two legitimate points and the rest is just "I'm so mad I can't get a girlfriend"

then there are those who think women shouldn't get anything in a divorce settlement, as if every married woman is a stay at home wife and only her husband is bringing in money... I'm sorry but most women contribute financially to their households nowadays. so why is she supposed to get nothing in a settlement?? is that not her property too lmao

like, idk, I've never known a woman who wanted to get a divorce for no reason, or worse just to make her husband sad lmao (I've heard stories of people seeking divorce out of spite but it seems split pretty evenly between the sexes). three of my female relatives divorced because their husbands either became abusive or started cheating, and divorced female friends of mine have similar stories, that their husband was a piece of crap. but the divorce was a last resort, they tried to make things work before giving up entirely. there are absolutely women who ruin their marriages (I've known women like this too) but the way people just vilify EVERY divorced woman and blame her for the failure of the marriage is weird to me

sorry for the rant. I hope you're doing well

Hi ! yeah I'm doing well - currently trying to edit my next youtube video but my laptop is so slow I'm lowkey losing it lol

Of course all of this is a major cope. Reality & stats actually prove that MEN are those suffering the most from female rejection : Dating app are dominated by males, clubs have to offer free entry for women to appeal to them, males literally created a movement to whine about how they couldn't get laid.... Men ACTIVELY pursue women, but they're trying to gaslight women into thinking that it's the opposite and that if they don't lower their standards, they're going to end up old and alone, when none of this is backed up by actual reality. Don't you find interesting that those incel NEVER bring up actual objective evidence about "women hitting the wall" ? they only bring up older men age preference, but NOTHING about how actual WOMEN live their singleness at older age. It's just pure projection ; they assume that because older like younger women, then older women feel misrable about, which is untrue. Actually, those men are the first to seethe at silly tiktok of childless mature women enjoying their life..... Sorry but their behavior betrays their words. Meanwhile, there are plentiful data available about how men outnumber women in dating app- and let's not forget sexual violence because men "need" women for their sexual depravity. So it's pretty obvious which sex is actually desperate to find companionship.

Say what you want about feminist, but at least they're consistent in advocating for a certain emotional independence from men (there's a whole discourse about removing ourselves from the male gaze, internal misogyny, etc.) but most male activist movement are seething against women.....while actively seeking fulfillment FROM women. It creates a cognitive dissonance (those men seek to dominate women, but by relying on female sexual availability, it ultimately makes them dominated by women) that why Which is pretty funny to witness considering that those men pretend being the rational sex....🙃 That's why female movement like FDS/hypergamy are actively attacked by men (FDS reddit got routinely raided by scrotes to the point they left the platform) because they are threatened by the idea of women elevating their standards, because that would mean even less sexually available women for them. It's no coincidence MGTOW caught less traction than the incel movement (+ all these dating coach/"how to become an alpha male" grifters) because the former is for men trying to remove themselves from dating women, but men cannot stop themselves from being reliant on women sexually speaking, so they'd rather whine about it online than learn to seek independence.

#answered

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blazehedgehog · 1 year

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Do you know any DS/3DS hidden gems that actually are not well known and not the few same games people allways bring up?

Probably not, no. With the GBA, I was deep in the emulation scene for that system. It was fascinating to me that there was a functional emulator before the hardware was even on store shelves (somebody just emulated the raw chips inside the handheld itself). So I was keeping up on new releases via GBAtemp and basically playing a little bit of almost everything.

With the DS, I ended up getting a cheap R4 flashcart near the end of the handheld's lifespan, so I ended up playing a bunch of stuff there, too, though not quite as much as I did with the GBA.

With the 3DS, I didn't come in to it until 2-3 years in to the system's lifespan and though I have a fair few games for it, I never really went deep diving in the indie download scene or anything like that. I've done a little more of that on the Switch.

Like, I dunno. Steamworld Dig is one of my favorite games ever, but that's sort of on everything now. The Mighty Gunvolt games are cute and maybe the best use of Mighty No. 9. Pushmo is great and a lot of people have forgotten about it because it's old news now. All of the Sega 3D Ages games are amazing and legitimately great uses of the 3D slider. I heard okay things about Citizens of Earth. But some of these aren't exactly indies, right?

I suppose the problem is, if you skim something like Metacritic's top 3DS games list, a lot of the indie games are just ports of things that are on everything, like Steamworld Dig and Citizens of Earth.

Skimming the list... I remember hearing okay things about HarmoKnight. I have a friend who is always yelling about how amazing Yokai Watch 3 is and how it totally eats Pokemon's lunch and how everybody ignored it. Lots of people seemed to like the Dillon Rolling Western games. There are enough of these "Witch and Hero" games on the eShop that somebody must like them (but some of them are also on the Switch, too.)

One game I always wanted to try and never got around to was something called "Crash City Mayhem."

There was a DS game called Sideswiped that I absolutely loved to pieces. If you remember a game called Runabout on the PS1 and Dreamcast, Sideswiped was by the same developer. It was different than Runabout, and was basically a Japanese take on Burnout. It was insane and ridiculous and INCREDIBLY fun. Deeply, deeply underrated game.

Crash City Mayhem seemed to be the team's next game, and looking up footage of it now, it seems to be a port/remake of one of the Runabout games (which are basically GTA style open world games but weird and silly). Reviews make it sound very short, though. One review says it would be "their favorite 3DS game" if it was longer.

Super Runabout on the Dreamcast was pretty short, too. I think there was only like, 12 missions in the whole game? So Crash City Mayhem being lean makes sense. The Runabout series were borderline arcade games.

Unfortunately, that's about all I've got.

#questions #Anonymous #crash city mayhem #sideswiped #3ds #nintendo #steamworld dig

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bisluthq · 18 days

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Harry and Taylor clearly hooked up on and off for a very long time. There are whole songs about it by both of them. That’s not a love story for the ages, but denying what’s spelled out is just… weird.

You don’t have to be a Haylor or like them together to analyze the evidence and come to an objective conclusion. I don’t even like Harry and never have. I also don’t dislike him, I guess? He’s just there for me. I don’t think they fit together, I don’t find them particularly compelling as a couple. Context aside he’s probably one of the least interesting exes she has for me, right behind Conor Kennedy and Taylor Lautner.

But that doesn’t mean that if she says she thinks about jumping off a building to see if he shows up, I’m gonna act like “yeah I mean, I’m sure there were some feelings involved.” Like, you guys want to avoid being Haylors so much you end up being the other side of the same coin.

He wrote really devastating songs about her that he ended up not even releasing, probably because they were a bit much. None of us know the actual truth aside from Taylor and Harry, but my god, the woman said in an interview, when talking about Style, “it’s about that person that comes in and out of your life and you feel like the narrative is never truly over.” And there are pictures of them at the same party, dancing side by side, weeks before she got with Calvin.

Yeah, of course she dated Matty in the middle. Harry was literally dating some blonde model as well, that doesn’t mean they couldn’t hook up. Neither is a bastion of morality when it comes to this sort of thing and I doubt either of them were in committed relationships with those people anyway.

Why else would Calvin have such a visceral reaction to Harry? Cause idk if you guys remember but he used to block people with his face as their profile picture on sight. And when he and Taylor broke up, around the time of his tweeting rage about her, he followed Harry on instagram, who the hell knows what he wanted to accomplish. But it seemed like a pointed attack.

Harry legitimately wrote a sob song about Taylor dating Calvin a year into their relationship. You heard it, I’m sure, you talked about it.

“She dated Matty in 2023, so she couldn’t have hooked up with Harry in 2014/2015” is not a logical conclusion. Truth of the matter is that whatever she did with both or either of them was kept private and we’re all speculating, but there’s reason to believe one thing and absolutely nothing to back up the other.

As for Question, I fear you’re analyzing in too much detail with “I don’t think Harry is that confusing.” First of all, that’s not a reason to dismiss him as the muse lol. And second of all, she spells out how confusing he is in soooo many 1989 songs, an album written pre-first Maylor iteration.

Taylor is pretty straightforward with her Easter eggs and cross references. She interpolated a song that’s 100% about Harry, and then referenced lyrics from said song. And the song actually does fit Harry, and this thematic of “we always end up together” that she’d talked about in the past.

It’s possible it has Matty elements as well. I personally don’t see it, but I’m not gonna become a shooter against it bc I don’t actually care that much, but if she’s referencing Harry/his songs in it, then it’s most likely about him, and everything else is just cope from fans who don’t want it to be about him, for whatever reason.

And no, I don’t think Matty and Taylor were “super unserious and it was nothing hahahahaha” like some Swifties insist on saying, trying to erase the fact that she legitimately said “I love you” on stage. I just don’t think the first iteration of the relationship was that deep. There’s no indication that it was ever more than anything physical that happened a few times. I don’t think she was pining over Matty fucking Healy for 8+ years and close proximity while working on the album blah blah blah.

AT MOST Taylor and Matty hooked up for 2 months, given the timeline. Then it was Calvin, then Tom, then Joe, with basically no breaks in between, not really time for them to explore anything further.

With Harry they started something in the spring of 2012 and were on and off (most of the time off, of course) at least until fall 2014 with possibly one last encounter in early 2015. She admitted a bunch of stuff about Harry both in the OG 1989 and in the Vault tracks.

I also don’t think she was pining over him, or that she has feelings for him now, or that she wrote Question because of a 5 minute encounter at the Grammys.

I think Question was a result of seeing him in what looked like an adult serious relationship and also not feeling particularly good on her own. Wondering if things would be better if that person who she once thought would interrupt her wedding came sweeping in and saved her from how awful she felt in her current situation.

It’s not about Harry in particular. I don’t think she has delusions that they’d be compatible now. But it’s the most normal thing in the world to be sad about a partner and reminisce to good times with an ex. Obviously Calvin doesn’t elicit good feelings, Tom was a nothingburger, Matty even more so, at that point, I don’t even have to explain why her brain wouldn’t go to Conor, and who else is there? Joe Jonas? Married with a child. Jake and John? Who she knows had inappropriate relationships with her? Taylor Lautner? Also married.

It’s a process of elimination her brain probably did on her own. She explained what the songs were about quite well, and I tend to believe her and her very direct allusions and hints.

I think either extreme about Haylor is just fans wanting to bend reality to their perception, and I love you, but you always tended to minimize Haylor to a point that was almost like “they fucked a few times.” And then both of them had songs released/leaked that had you having to adjust your perception of them in real time. And I think, honestly, that you still have some leftover hesitance from then.

Admitting that they probably went on hooking up for quite a few years, even with long breaks in between, and that she allowed herself to think what if while having her heart shattered by who she thought was the love of her life does not mean you think they’re star crossed lovers and it was right person wrong time or whatever the fuck Haylors believe lmao

this is very well argued. I don’t necessarily agree but I am happy to respectfully disagree if that makes sense? I think you’ve made some excellent points. I genuinely do. The main reason I think Question is about Matty is because they’ve kinda said that? He had it on his pre show playlist and took it out when they started going on the fritz. He was also around when she was working on Midnights so while I agree she might’ve thought about other people and situations (including Harry) to me the song seems to pretty explicitly be about Matty and wondering if they could’ve worked out (which she then actively tried to do lol like shortly after). I think context wise it does seem like it’s about Matty? And she does rededicate songs regularly so I wouldn’t say something being “explicitly” about someone is necessarily proof it always will be. Love Story was explicitly about a specific guy but now it’s about her relationship with her fans yk? So I don’t think interpolations are proof of anything idk.

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racingtoaredlight · 2 years

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Posted this yesterday, and have been thinking about it ever since...

I had so many moments like the kids in the background, the looks on their faces tell a story that’s very familiar. This is an insight into the European conservatory system...all of these kids are probably insane. If you heard them isolated, you’d probably think that they’re going to be some of the greatest guitarists on the planet (if they’re not there already)*.

The hierarchy inside these isolated worlds, however...can be extreme. The kid playing isn’t just some potentially great guitarist...he’s a world beater at an age where he hadn’t even hit puberty yet. These prodigal stories are numerous...my personal favorite being Pat Metheny coming out of Lee’s Summitt, MO...going to the University of Miami at 18, being named head of the guitar department at 19, and being on the faculty of Berklee in Boston when Berklee was legitimate at 20. That’s insanity.

My experiences in this situation are singed into my memory.

***

Most of these are from my time at North Texas. When I was in high school and at Cleveland State, this didn’t happen. The talent pools were far too shallow. Meanwhile, my first week at North Texas was an exercise in “oh fuck, what did I get myself into.”

At the beginning of every semester, the top band (the One O’Clock Band that’s been nominated for Grammy’s and tours internationally), gives an introdutory concert. These 2.5 hours were so facemelting, this experience felt like it was bombarding me from all directions.

Firstly, this was the first time the band had ever played together in this format before. They didn’t know each other’s idiosyncracies and were going in cold. They played these 2.5 hours by number.

They had a telephone book-sized binder with all their scores in it...the conductor would just yell out a number...184!...49!...288!...not the song name, just the number. And for this entire time, you could count the number of mistakes on one hand. By the entire 18+ piece band. And it was all sight read.

***

I heard some guys talking about the first chair tenor sax player. I nudged one of them and asked what was up, and apparently he was an 18 year old kid who was the three time reigning North American saxophone champion or something like that. Basically, they were talking about this kid like he was the LeBron of the jazz world...

And he was.

I don’t even remember his name, but I remember how he played. How this pockmarked, pimple-faced child spewed straight magma out of his sax everytime he stood up for a solo. He was almost always the first soloist called, and when he stood up, the rest of the band was laser locked on what he was doing.

Not only was he that concrete good, he was so good that everyone around him...even those playing with him...watched with rapt attention. This kid wasn’t just good, his skills were mature and fully formed. He was dominant. It was clear, even at 18, that this kid was heads and shoulders beyond just about everyone else in a music department full of the country’s best young monsters.

Damn, I wish I could remeber his name.

***

I was already licking my wounds from that show when we had another “Welcome to UNT” concert, this time with a quartet (all guys from the same One O’Clock Band, except for the bassist).

Oh my god the bassist.

So this motherfucker is up on stage wearing those dorky wraparound sunglasses that old people wear when driving. Totally relaxed, has this goofy smile on his face that stayed there the entire time. I remember that smile, because what he was playing was some of the most wicked, evil shit I’ve ever seen a jazz musician pull off while still supporting the band.

Pianist counts off the tune...it’s a blistering 300+ beats per minute, and they are cooking. The bassist still has that stupid smile on his face despite anchoring down this crazy bassline, barely even looking like he’s trying.

Then...

I’ll never forget this as long as I live. It was one of those moments where your jaw hits the floor, your mouth hanging open like a slackjawed idiot, your brain frantically trying to process what just happened. This is what 300 beats per minute sounds like...what 5 beats per second sounds like...

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...in the middle of this shit, at that speed, he effortlessly starts tapping chords on the upper registers of his bass with his right hand while still keeping that bassline going undereath with only his left. It was absolutely preposterous.

Fucking preposterous. Fucking insanity. It wasn’t showing off or trying to look like a badass, it was completely organic and in the moment. The pianist was mostly soloing with his right hand...so he just stepped into the space where the pianists’ left hand would normally be. It was absolutely the most insane musical moment I’ve witnessed in my life...and I’m not entirely sure he was conscious enough to know what he was doing at that moment in time.

I found out later he was an undergrad-aged masters student, who had been on Victor Wooten’s payroll since he was 17...doing all the transcriptions you’d see in Wooten’s instructional books and DVD’s and all that. He was already endorsed by major players in the bass world for both guitars and amps...

At the time, Michael League of Snarky Puppy...currently one of the best bassists on the planet...was here studying. I’m not disputing his current status at all, he is legitimately one of the great bassists working today...but when I was at North Texas? He wasn’t one of the five best bassists there, in my opinion.

Everyone in that program was a fucking monster. It was intimidating as hell. Michael League was a monster back then too...but he wasn’t anywhere near this guy’s level.

***

Everyone knew Michael League was going to be a star though. He was wired that way from the get go, and left UNT while I was in my second year there to devote himself full time to Snarky Puppy. And boy was that the right call.

This other guy is heading up a jazz department somewhere, I can’t remember. It’s a small school. I ended up in a class with him as a GA down the line, and chatted with him a few times...you know that sense you get when someone is better suited as an educator rather than a performer or producer? This was him.

His love wasn’t performance, it was clearly education. It didn’t matter he had skills beyond the ordinary, you could just tell talking to him he’d rather be teaching than touring. And there was a sense of peace that came with that, knowing himself and knowing the path he wanted to go on, that was honest and genuine.

The Marcin kid above, is a star and you could tell he was going to be one back then. He’s been on all sorts of European and American talent shows, including America’s Got Talent, tours internationally and is signed to Sony. This is a case of prodigy becoming reality. And that talent was just as obvious back then, because it was clear by how the other kids were watching him that he was miles beyond where they were. They knew.

So, I can relate to all those kids in the background. No matter what your talent level or the amount of work you put into it, there are some humans who are just preternaturally gifted to the point it seems alien.

These gifts are special no doubt, but they have a downside. It’s hard to have your life path laid out for you before you hit puberty. What if you hate it? What if you’re miserable?

That’s a discussion for another day.

***

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Here’s the kid that was sitting directly behind Marcin’s performance in the same room.

He’s a super young kid, probably as talented as a classical guitarist with an undergrad degree despite being probably a freshman in high school. He’s got refined technique, good sound, confident command of the instrument...

...and he’s shit compared to Marcin. I hate to say it that clearly, but there isn’t a single thing you can point to where they’re even peers. Marcin’s guitar sounds different, overtones and harmonics absolutely exploding out of it...this kid just can’t move the instrument like that yet.

But at the same time, this kid is very, very, very good. In isolation, the kid is a truly impressive guitar prospect. It’s just...when you look at them in comparison, the talent levels are so far apart it’s legitmately shocking.

Let me put it this way. This kid’s playing a moderately difficult classical guitar piece on its native instrument. Marcin was playing a goddamned violin sonana that was in no way written to lay out comfortably on a guitar, let alone be played at that speed. And yet the level of sheer dominance over the respective pieces is still clear as day, despite the Paganini piece’s drastically higher level of difficulty.

That’s like smashing a desert rally course record in a Corvette. Just incredible shit.

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c-is-for-circinate · 3 years

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Wait, isn't "anti" stuff more like "anti-pedophilia" and stuff? Like, you have a point about anti-porn attitudes, but from what I've heard just "anti" on its own means against stuff like kid porn and incest porn and legitimately f*cked up sh*t like that.

Okay! So this, I think, is actually a great example of what I was talking about, and a really useful thing to understand. (CW rape, child abuse, etc)

Smarter people than me have written much better essays about why policing thoughtcrimes is a bad road to go down, and I will probably reblog some of them next time they cross my dash for more context. What I want to talk about is the trigger mechanism, the ‘oh, this looks like danger!!!’ immune response in how we look at different kinds of porn, and how that applies to anti culture.

Here’s the thing: I am anti-pedophilia. I think that, for most people, that’s a stance that largely goes without saying! Adults who prey on children are bad. I’m also against incest; relatives who prey on their family members are bad. Above all I oppose rape. Sexual predation of any kind is bad. In fact, I’d say that’s the most important item on the list. There is plenty of room to argue about where the lines are between ‘adult’ and ‘child’ and how teenagers fit in the middle, and there’s plenty of room to get historical about the lines between ethically terrible incest, distasteful-but-bearable “aristocratic inbreeding” between distant cousins, and the kind of consanguinity that tends to develop in a small town where everyone’s vaguely related to everyone else by now anyway. The core of the issue is consent, and it has always been consent. Pedophilia and incest are horrific because they are rape scenarios where the abuser has far more power and their victim far fewer resources to cope, both practically and emotionally; because harm to children is, to us as a culture, worse than harm to adults, for a lot of very valid reasons; and because they constitute betrayal of trust the victim should have been able to put in their abuser as well as rape--but they are all rape scenarios, and that’s why they’re awful.

These things are bad. It is good for us to have a social immune response system that recognizes these things when they’re happening and insists we step in. That is a good thing to develop! It helps us, as a society. It can help the people being victimized. It’s the same reason educators and childcare workers in the US are all mandated reporters, why we do background checks on people working near kids. These things happen, and they’re terrible, and it’s good that we try to be aware and prepared for them. (Though obviously studies show we’re a lot less good at protecting the vulnerable than we’d like to pretend we are.)

The question is: why does that same social immune response trigger, and trigger so angrily, in response to fiction?

Anti culture is fundamentally an expression of that social immune response. Specifically, it’s that social immune response when it is set off by a situation that, while it has some similarities to the very bad real-life crime of sexual predation including pedophilia and incest, is in and of itself harmless.

If you’re instinct is to flare up in anger or dismissiveness because I’m calling these things harmless, I want to ask you to just take a deep breath and bear with me for a bit longer. What you’re feeling right now is an allergic reaction.

Humans tell and read and listen to stories about “legitimately fucked up shit” all the time. It’s part of the human condition. It’s part of how we process those things happening, not just to use, but to other people in the world around us. It’s part of how we process completely unrelated fucked-up shit, playing with fears and furies and insecurities that we all have, through so may layers of fiction that we don’t even recognize them any more, playing with power dynamics in metaphor and making characters suffer for fun. Aside from the fact that literally all stories do this to some extent or another; aside from the fact that drawing lines between ‘ok that’s good storytelling’ and ‘that’s too fucked-up to write about’ is arbitrary, subjective, and dangerous in its own right; aside from all of that, these stories are stories. All of them.

Even the ones about rape, about incest, about pedophilia. They’re words on a page. No real children were harmed, touched, or even glanced at in the making of this work of fiction. This story, pornographic though it may be, is part of a conversation between consenting adults. (And if a teenager lies about their age to consent, that is a different problem altogether.)

Stories in and of themselves, no matter what they’re about, are no more dangerous than a crate full of oranges. Which is to say: utterly harmless, unless all you have to eat is oranges, all day every day, and you find yourself dying slowly of nutrient deficiency--which is why representation matters. Or unless someone wields one deliberately, violently, as a tool to cause harm, and someone gets acid in their eye--which is the fault of the person holding the orange. And unless you happen to be allergic to citrus.

The key here is this twofold understanding: First, the thing that hurts you can also have value to others. Real, legitimate value. Whether you’ve undergone trauma and certain story elements are straight-up PTSD triggers or you just don’t like orange juice, that story, those tropes, that crate of oranges may be somewhere between icky and fundamentally abhorrent--but we understand that that is still your reaction. Even if you don’t understand how anybody could ever enjoy it; even if every single person you surround yourself with is as sensitive and disgusted and itchy about this thing that makes your eyes hurt and your throat stop working as you; that doesn’t make it true for everyone. That doesn’t make oranges poisonous. No real children were involved in the writing of this story. It is words on a page.

But, secondly: the thing that has value to others can also hurt you. Just because a story isn’t inherently poison doesn’t mean it can’t cause you, personally, pain. That’s what a PTSD trigger is: an allergic reaction, psychological anaphylaxis, a brain that’s trying so hard to protect its own from a threat that isn’t actually present (but was once, and the brain is trained to respond) that it causes far more harm and misery than the trigger itself possibly could. And no, it’s not just people with PTSD who sometimes get hurt by stories. There are many, many ways a story can poke the part of your brain that says, this is Bad, I don’t like this, I don’t want to be here. The story is still, always, every time, pixels on a screen and ink on paper. The story causes no physical harm. But it can poke your brain into misery, it can stir up your emotions, it can make you want to cringe and run away. It can make you want to scream and fight and go after the author who brought this thing into existence. It can make you hurt.

This is an allergic reaction. This is your brain and body, your reflexes and instincts, trying to protect you from something that isn’t really happening. And just like a literal allergic reaction, it can do actual harm to you if it gets set off. This is real. The fact that stories can upset you to the point of pain and mental/emotional injury is real, even though it’s coming from your own brain and not the story itself. There are stories you shouldn’t read. There are stories I shouldn’t read, regret reading, will never read, because they hurt me. That doesn’t mean they’re the same stories that would hurt you. That doesn’t mean they don’t have value.

And, finally:

If getting upset about stories is fundamentally an individual person’s allergic reaction, their brain freaking out and firing off painful survival instincts in the face of a thing that isn’t, in and of itself, a threat? Then the anti movement is a cultural allergic reaction.

Fandom as a whole has a pretty active immune system, which doesn’t mean we have a good immune system. We try very hard to be aware of all the viruses and -isms and abuse and manipulation and cruelty, both systematic and individual, that exists around and within our community. We’re primed and ready to shout about things at all times. The anti movement is that system, that culture, screaming and shouting and fighting at a harmless thing on a grand scale. It wants to stop that thing, that scary awful thing that trips all of its well-primed danger sensors, at all costs. It’ll swell up and block off our airways (our archives) if it has to. It’ll turn on the body it came from. It’s scared and protective and trying to fight, and it’s ready to fight and destroy itself.

Luckily, fans and fanfic and fandom and fan culture are a lot bigger and older than they often get credit for, and it’s not like these cultural allergies are anything new. We could talk about shippers and slashers in the X-Files fandom in the 90s. We could talk about the birth of fandom in the days of Star Trek. We could talk about censorship and book burning going back centuries. We survived that and we’ll survive this, too.

But god, does the anti movement my throat and eyes itch. Man is it irritating, and sometimes a little suffocating, to realize how many stories just aren’t getting told out of fear of what the antis will say. And that’s the real danger, I think. What are we losing that would have so much value to someone? What are we missing out?

#fandom #anti culture #anti-anti #I guess?#asked and answered #you are not WRONG or BAD or BROKEN if a story hurt you #but neither is the story #Anonymous #anti discourse day

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fairyoftbz · 2 years

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more than friends ? | s. eric

pairing: neighbour!eric x fem!reader wc: 2.8k words synopsis: you're kinda feeling down in your bedroom, but your mom comes in to tell you something that will make you feel a bit better. genre: fluff, angst, a bit cliché, comfort, self-indulgent tw: the reader is not doing her best mentally, she's lonely and insecure.

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Headphones glued to your ears, you didn’t hear your mother frantically knock on your bedroom door and call your name.

“Y/N, I know you hate us coming in without knocking, but you couldn’t hear me,” she said as you jumped when you saw the door swinging open, removing your set from your ears after pausing the episode you were watching. Your mother’s eyebrows slightly furrowed as she noticed the frown on your face but didn’t raise it, leaning her hand on your desk.

“I just saw Eric leaving his house as I was taking out the trash, he asked me to tell you that he’s going to the beach to chill with some friends, and you are more than welcome to tag along,” she explained, and you nodded, not showing a lot of enthusiasm, much to her dismay.

A few months ago, your former neighbours had to move out because of the father’s job abroad, welcoming another family into their home instead. They were quiet and nice, the son frequented the same college as yours and was legitimately a bundle of energy which was quite your opposite.

“I don’t feel like hanging out with anyone right now,” you emotionlessly said after sighing deeply.

“I know that you’re disappointed since you discovered that your friends betrayed you, but that doesn’t mean everybody will be fake and abandon you!” your mother exclaimed, and you just shrugged.

"You never know, not everyone has a kind heart. And it seems like I’m stupidly naive enough to be friends with toxic people without intending it,” your mother sighed at your stubbornness, but she didn’t insist. She knew that you were already suffering enough to be alone, feeling loved by no one. She kissed your temple and gently rubbed your back, telling you that she allowed you to join Eric and his friends if you wanted to, before leaving your room.

Groaning in frustration as the episode you were watching was the last, you closed your computer screen and stared at the logo, feeling jealous that all young adults around your age were having fun in groups while you were alone in your bedroom, your brother not even talking to you on the rare occasions he was home.

Walking to your closet, you lazily got out a swimsuit, quickly putting it on before covering yourself with a pair of sweatpants and a large t-shirt. You didn’t plan on going in the water, but maybe hanging out with people your age would get you out of your comfort zone and turn acquaintances into new friends. Or simply meet new people, because you were getting tired of the long process it was to become close with someone, only to end up disappointed by them in the end.

“Mom, I’m going!” you yelled from the entrance, and she hummed in response. “Have fun and be safe! Text me when you get there,” you promised her to be careful and walked out the door, following the pavement till you arrived at the beach.

You removed your light shoes from your feet and sunk them in the lukewarm sand, feeling at ease as the sound of the waves crashing on the ground reached your ears over the wind. Many groups of friends or couples were there, eating and laughing together. It made you feel even more like a loner, but you quickly chased this thought away by shaking your head, not wanting it to change your mind and force you to go home.

“Y/N! Over here!” you heard a bright, familiar voice in the distance, turning around as you involuntarily walked past your neighbour and his group of friends. A few of them raised their arms in the air to draw your attention, Eric visibly happy that you eventually decided to join them. He jogged towards you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, his display of affection startling you.

“I’m so happy you’re here, it’s been so long since I last saw you! Come on, the water is still warm!” he said as he drew on your arm, but you answered negatively to his offer. “I don’t really want to get in the water Eric, I’m tired,” you explained, and Eric’s eyes widened, disheartened at your answer. “Are you sure you’re okay? Because Y/N saying no to going in the water, you must not feel good at all,” his face twisted into worry, but you offered him a tired smile. “I just have a lot going on right now, and it drains me out a lot,” you repeated, and you were happy that Eric didn’t pressure you into telling him what was wrong. “Okay… you can talk to me if you need it, I’ll gladly listen,” you thanked him and watched him hurry in the water with his friends.

“Hi,” you said with a slight smile as you sat on the sand next to Sangyeon, the only one you knew best aside from Eric, and he shifted on the picnic tablecloth to make some room for you. “Hi Y/N, thank you for coming. Eric was becoming very whiny since you weren’t showing up,” you almost lost your balance as you looked at him in bewilderment, your heart panging in surprise at his words, and Sangyeon confirmed them by a nod.

“Since that time you helped him take pictures for his Instagram, he won’t shut up about you and your skills,” he giggled, and you were surprised, to say the least, not really expecting your neighbour to enjoy your company that much.

“Well I’m glad I managed to make him happy,” you mumbled as you watched him and his friends acting like fools in the water, the sight tugging a smile on your face. You were tempted to join them, but for some reason, tonight felt different. You were too much in your thoughts to even consider having fun, going there was just an attempt on clearing your mind from everything.

“Y/N! Come have fun with us, please!” Eric whined from the water, slapping its surface in a groan as you negatively shook your head with a small, amused smile. He looked like a child throwing a tantrum, making Sangyeon next to you laugh. Kevin, Juyeon and Changmin joined the youngest in his sulk, encouraging you to change your mind.

“Ugh, fine,” you said as you stood up, the guys cheering when they saw you take off your shirt. You shook your head again, Sangyeon removing his as well. The sight of his bare, broad torso had your eyes widening and quickly turning your back to the beach, trying not to let any emotion show on your face.

You giggled as some of the guys whined and groaned in frustration when they saw their friend shirtless, comparing the size of their abs and biceps with him, while Eric was too busy silly dancing in the water as you arrived near him, his goofy attitude making you smile. He tried sprinkling some water on you with his fingers, but a quick, stern look was enough for you to make him stop.

“Keep doing that and I’m going home,” you warned, and Eric shook his head, immediately apologising. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. But come on, don’t just wet your feet!” He whined, and you rested your hands on your hips, letting the small waves crash on your calves. “The water is a little bit cold if you didn’t notice, I’m just taking my time to come in,” you explained, and Eric got closer, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to pull you quicker in the water. “Wait, wait-” you said, but next thing you know, you were sunk in the ocean to the neck, feeling the freshwater surrounding your body. You hissed but smiled as your neighbour stood in front of you, offering you a piggyback ride.

“Hold on, Eric! Do you think Y/N would want to play at our game?” Changmin asked, and your neighbour immediately nodded, showing you how Younghoon let Chanhee sit on his shoulders, Sunwoo doing the same with Kevin, the two guys on top trying to push each other and lose balance to fall into the water.

“I think yeah! Okay Y/N, get on my shoulders!” Eric excitingly said, but you stopped him right before he sank in the water, his surprised face making you giggle. “Not to upset you or anything, but I don’t want to break your back,” you explained. “Come on Eric, she needs a strong man,” Sangyeon approached the two of you, a teasing look painted on his face as he emphasised the adjective, slightly nudging Eric away. Your neighbour grunted, and you rolled your eyes at their little game filled with testosterone. Eric swam towards Juyeon and jumped on his shoulders like he was as light as a newborn, the older feeling the aftermath of Eric’s weight on his body with a groan.

Sangyeon sunk in the water, and you wrapped your legs around his shoulders, the young man standing back up like he was carrying a feather. His strength surprised you, and you struggled to find your balance as he walked closer to Juyeon and Eric, who seemed determined to get you off his friend’s shoulders. Sangyeon’s hands gripped on your knees as you started to fight with Eric, giggling in anticipation as you could find yourself in the water in a matter of seconds.

However, this fight broke between Sangyeon and Juyeon as well, the latter trying to tickle his friend, giving you and Eric unstable foundations to fight. You still managed to push Eric in the water, earning cheers from Sangyeon and the rest of the group.

“Nice job, Y/N!” Sangyeon exclaimed as he squeezed your ankle, shyly thanking him right before the rest of the group started a water fight around you two. You shrieked as Sangyeon sunk underwater to get you off his shoulders, and both swim away from the fight. They all laughed as you thought you could reach the ground, but you disappeared underwater, lacking a few centimetres to be able to stand on your feet. You coughed out water as you involuntarily swallowed some, making you shiver at the saltiness of it as the boys giggled.

“Younghoon can barely touch the ground where you are, come back to us!” Sangyeon said, and you obeyed, the water fight now finished, leaving them exhausted and laughing at Eric, who tried to justify his defeat against you. “You can get your revenge next time we come here,” you said as you exited the water, feeling tiredness and hunger taking over your body.

You let out a groan of despair when you noticed that you had forgotten a towel to dry yourself, shivers starting to seize your body violently. The air was cool since it was already the evening, and you didn’t know what to do.

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, and Eric appeared next to you, a questioning look on his face. “What’s wrong?” “I forgot my beach towel at home,” you said as you started collecting your clothes and your small bag, sliding your wet feet in your shoes, ready to rush back home in the hope to get some warmth. Eric emitted a small noise of surprise and fumbled through his bag quickly as if he could find anything in his bag before you left.

It’s with surprise that you watched him withdraw a huge towel from his backpack, still wondering how he could fit it in his small sports bag.

“Here, take it,” he whispered before shoving it in your hands, watching him run back in the water. You didn’t have time to thank him that his whole body was back underwater, playing again with his friends as if nothing had happened.

You were too cold to refuse anything, so you wrapped the towel around your body after dropping your stuff back in the sand, sitting on the floor next to the calm figure of Sangyeon. He looked so peaceful and serene that you couldn’t help but envy happy, carefree people.

Bringing your knees to your chest, you were enveloped in Eric’s towel, watching the rest of the group enjoying themselves in the water as you smelt the comforting scent of his laundry. They were coming out of the sea one after the other, running to their towel as they were shivering. Once you felt dry enough to put your clothes back on, you stood up and rushed to the seaside with your friend’s towel as he sprung out of the water and huddled himself in the cotton fabric.

“I wish I had taken my own so you wouldn’t have to dry yourself with something so humid, I’m really sorry,” you apologised, but Eric just laughed, happy that you were taking care of him by vigorously rubbing his back.

“It’s okay Y/N, it’s nothing,” as guilt was starting to eat you, you offered him a saddened smile, which contrasted with the bright one that was decorating his lips, your hand on his back gently pushing him to go back to his friends in the sand.

“We’re gonna get pizzas,” Kevin said as you both arrived next to the group, “we would all love if you joined us,” he said while his eyes shifted to you, him smiling as you blinked a few times.

“Hum, sure!” you said, showing him the brightest smile you could as your mind was still surrounded by dark thoughts. Your heart felt warm in your chest, happiness sparkled in your brain, but for some reason, you weren’t able to show it, and you mentally cursed yourself for that.

When you were all sitting down in booths with pizza shoved in your mouths, you felt like your sorrow had reduced by half. You were seated between the wall and Eric, Juyeon and Sangyeon facing you two. The atmosphere was light as your stomach was starting to hurt at how much you were laughing. It felt almost right as if you were part of this group since the beginning.

You noticed that Eric was sometimes glancing at you just to see if you were okay, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw you with a bright smile on your face, his lips mimicking yours. Yes, bags under your eyes made you look exhausted, yet your neighbour still found you beautiful. Sangyeon and Juyeon exchanged knowing looks as Eric couldn’t tear his eyes off you when you were telling a story, his frank laugh echoing in the booth each time you told something funny.

Your happy mood slowly faded as the time to leave was getting closer, each going in separate ways, except for you and your neighbour. You still managed to have a slight smile on your lips as you were talking about everything and nothing, arriving too soon at the gate of your house.

“Thank you for offering me to join you, it’s really nice of you,” your voice trailed as you wrapped your fingers around one of the spikey metal bars of your gate, Eric’s smile almost illuminating the neighbourhood sunk in plain darkness. You felt like crying but thickly swallowed the lump in your throat, compensating your emotions with a smile. He pretended not to see your eyes slightly glistening more under the street light, but his heart cracked as you were battling with the demons inside your head in front of him, feeling as helpless as ever.

“We all love to have you around. I noticed that you tend to eat alone during lunch breaks at college, so if you see us, please free to join us, even if it’s just to hang out, okay? We’ll always be here, and you’ll never bother us,” you nodded and thanked him, eyes soon diverting to your house.

Eric’s hand lifted to rub your shoulder, and you stared back at him, his lips drawn in a gentle smile.

You took in a deep breath and smiled too, your heart fastening as you couldn’t keep eye contact. He smiled at your shy attitude and leaned forwards, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheekbone. You blinked a few times as you got startled by his actions, the tip of his ears going red as he took a step back, his hand scratching the back of his head.

“Goodnight Y/N, I'll see you soon,” he started walking backwards, and your heart fluttered weirdly inside your ribcage, feeling a new emotion.

As if he was slipping away from your fingers, you rushed back to him and wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, nuzzling your face against him. He remained shook but eventually wrapped his arms around your figure as you were about to pull away, humming the mix of your shampoo and the sea that fragranced your hair.

You felt both shy when you pulled away from the embrace, regret invading your heart as you wished it had lasted longer. You wordlessly waved at him before trotting back to your gate, slamming it shut as you rushed inside your house. Eric fondly smiled, feeling lucky that he was part of the reason for your growing happiness.

He couldn’t wait to see your gauge of joy at its maximum capacity, thanks to him.

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 325: Deku VS the Outside of U.A. ~Conclusion~

Previously on BnHA: Ochako was all “dear bloodthirsty mob, this kid you see standing before you has fought harder than anyone and put his life on the line to protect you all, so please chill the fuck out, jesus christ. like, putting aside that he’s humanity’s best hope and so it’s very much in your best interests to let him rest and recover someplace safe so that he can keep fighting for us, are y’all seriously going to turn away an injured and exhausted child in front of his sobbing mother?? seriously?? come on now.” I’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically how it went down. Anyway so then the mob was all, “...” and Deku collapsed to his knees in tears, and Gigantic Fox Lady and Kouta ran over to give him a hug but then the chapter ended.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “FINE, YOU CAN HUG HIM”, which, was that so hard?? The U.A. Clown Mob is all “come to think of it, we’ve kind of been taking the heroes for granted this entire time, maybe we should be less passive in the future. anyway so Deku if it’s not too much to ask, can you please save everyone and fix everything.” Deku is all “I sure can, and by the way I forgive you for swarming around all menacingly two minutes ago and trying to deny me basic shelter and stuff.” Ectoplasm is all, “hey Todogang get a load of this. [walks in a circle].” Hawks is all, “that’s literally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rat Principal is all, “anyway so that’s what your students did today, hope you’re enjoying your new *~*ROBOT LEG*~*, Aizawa.” Aizawa is all “[lots of exposition about Kurogiri and for some reason, Toga, while being all brooding and sexy].” All Might is all “[standing here right outside of U.A. doing absolutely nothing and being foreboding AF]” and that immediately sucked away all of the warm fuzzy feelings from the hugs, goddammit.

each new week has become a waiting game of “when will Deku finally get to take a bath so people will actually be willing to go near him and give him the hugs he deserves.” the stakes have never been so compelling. I’ve almost forgotten about AFO entirely

lmaoooooo

me: for the love of god will someone please give Deku a hug before I die of old age

Mineta: YOU GOT IT!! --

Iida: [SWIFTLY CUTS HIM OFF] NOT YOU

fucking losing it at Mineta’s crying face. he really wanted to hug him. I legit feel bad but this is also the funniest thing I have seen all week, omg

somehow Kouta, who last week was only a hand’s breadth away from touching Deku’s head, is now twenty miles away from him in this new chapter

can I make a Loki reference here. is this recap a good place to insert a joke about someone using a TVA time-rewinding device to fuck with my poor boy Kouta over here. well anyway there it is

AND NOW HE’S BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN OMG

(ETA: since when is he “niichan” omg?? can’t handle this cuteness.)

BUT THEY’RE STILL NOT HUGGING HIM FFFFKFFFFF. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO. WHO DO I HAVE TO BRIBE AND/OR BLACKMAIL

OH NO KOUTA IS CRYING THAT’S IT I’M DONE FOR

“when I heard that lady I knew that I had to go, but then stop again within inches of actually touching you because you smell like week-old rotten onions.” listen Kouta, I’m not saying I don’t get it, but you all can’t keep doing this to me. it’s the way you guys keep teasing it. like, if you’re gonna hug him, hug him. don’t just stand there with your arms held rigidly out in front of you like a molded action figure

OH MY GOSH BUT HE SAID THE THING

KOUTA SWOOPING IN AT THE LAST MINUTE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR FIXING DEKU LIKE THAT ONE KID IN THE GROUP PROJECT WHO DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT STILL TAGS HIS NAME ONTO THE REPORT ANYWAY, WHAT A KNAVE

GASP

( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

SHE PICKED HIM UP LIKE A LITTLE BABY OMG?? she just leaned right over and lifted this child like he was a small animal. like a lil baby futon that she was about to hang up to dry. oh my god

-- HEY WHAT

(: well that’s extremely fucked up. though sadly not too surprising given what we just saw these past couple chapters

incidentally, I hope that anyone who was legitimately defending the civilians’ perspective earlier takes note here of how quickly that line of thinking -- “we’re just trying to keep our families safe” and all that-- can lead to straight up bigotry. if you’re willing to deny a child shelter and protection simply because he’s not YOUR child, and because you’ve decided based on Internet rumors (no real-world parallels there, I’m sure) that he might present a threat, it’s really not that much further of a leap to discriminating against entire groups of people simply because you perceive those groups as being dangerous. I’m sure the people who turned Gigantic Fox Lady away also told themselves afterwards that they did it to protect their families. “better safe than sorry.” “she’ll be fine, someone will take her in, but as for us, we can’t afford to take that risk.” people can come up with all kinds of justifications for treating other people as less than human, and the really scary thing about it is how fucking easy it is

one last quick side note, which is that Horikoshi does a great job here of showing how scapegoating works, given that AFO is the one who’s really to blame and who presents the actual threat, and yet Deku is the one who ultimately winds up being the target of the mob’s fear and outrage despite him being as much of a victim as they are. gotta love that irony, which unfortunately plays out far too often in the real world as well.

anyway I’ll get off my soapbox now, sorry about that. let us continue

YES, FINALLY OH MY GOD!!!!

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW GIGANTIC FOX LADY BECAME THE GREATEST HERO. PACK IT ALL UP, WE’RE DONE HERE KIDS

holy shit. the real MVP right there. thanks for getting it done champ

jesus christ I have had it up to here with these people

literally the bar is set so low at this point that I’ll go ahead and take it. helping him because it offers them a tactical advantage is at least one step up from not helping him at all

“WHY NOT SHIKETSU” MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

-- thank you!!

okay this one guy with the antennae hair is having himself a character development speedrun here

-- okay, but this part?? fucking this part, right here??

can we repeat that again?? the part where this guy acknowledges that the problems of hero society were caused not just by said heroes, but also by said society?? the part where he acknowledges that they treated the heroes like celebrities who were putting on a show for them?? the part where he acknowledges that when push came to shove, the vast majority of those heroes, when faced with a situation that offered no reward, were nonetheless willing to put their lives on the line to protect the very same people who then turned around and blamed them rather than thanking them?? are the civilians of BnHA even allowed to have actual deep thoughts about this stuff. holy shit

bro!!

ANTENNAE HAIR GUY SHOVING KOUTA AND GIGANTIC FOX LADY OUT OF THE WAY TO SLAP HIS NAME ONTO THE END CREDITS AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. CONGRATULATIONS SON YOU FIGURED OUT THE CORE PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION AT THE VERY HEART OF THE MANGA. WAY TO GO BUD

meanwhile, on today’s episode of “one more chapter to go till the big volume cliffhanger, how else can I drag things out let’s see”

it’s a panel. of people’s feet. just a bunch of normal feet. with sneakers and shit

this All Might shirt guy is getting more screentime in this arc than 90% of the class 1-A kids

I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for this dude now that he’s all “if we let you stay here do you promise to somehow magically fix every single problem that we are now currently facing?” those are some ridiculously exacting standards my dude. come on now

KACCHAN SIGHTING

thank fuck I’m not the only one who’s thoroughly unimpressed by absolutely all of this lol. I feel better now. meanwhile Iida and Kouda and Kiri are ready to run over there and hug them all. you guys are way too forgiving. damn you and your pure hearts

anyway so Deku’s like “yeah, definitely”

(ETA: almost forgot to comment on the “I’m no longer alone” part – he basically corrects the guy and says “sorry, but you’ll need to direct that question towards all of us, not just me, because moving forward we’re a team.” good stuff.)

you know what though, all joking aside... fuck yeah. because perfect victory, right. the strongest guys don’t settle for anything less. so I guess Deku has pretty exacting standards himself

also can you all just take a look at this fucking kid who’s got so much light in his eyes now that I’m gonna need eclipse goggles. hot damn. “you’re welcome” says All Might Shirt Guy as he is frantically interviewed by several local news networks asking him how he daringly managed to save Deku all by himself. “well I guess I’ve just never been the kind of guy who can sit back and let a bunch of rabble-rousers blame a little kid for all of humanity’s problems. someone had to step in and take action, you know?”

oH MY GOD THE SCENE IS FINALLY ENDING

don’t let the door hit you on your way out All Might Shirt Guy

but meanwhile, sudden Tododrama action??

oh shit

there are honestly so many ways in which Ochako’s very moving speech could have wildly backfired that I genuinely have no clue where this is headed lol. how exciting!!

so now Horikoshi is once again stalling for time with random filler panels, but this one is 10x better than the shoes lol omg

(1) was Ectoplasm’s jacket always this oversized. (2) did you guys know that if you go back to chapter 319 you can see that Horikoshi gave us a sneak peak at Enji’s Sad Detective disguise and I in fact made a joke about it in the 319 recap not realizing it was actually the stone cold truth. (3) did Shouto deliberately speed up out of impatience because Hawks was walking so fucking slow and he couldn’t take it any longer. (4) and what, I ask you, is up with these dramatic speedlines. so many mysteries here. what a masterpiece

everyone is acting all shocked about something ahh what’s going on

wait what

what the heck. did they just loop around behind everyone. what was the point of that lol. “anyway, so this is what they look like from the back” well okay, thanks for that Ectoplasm

(ETA: so it seems like they were actually hanging out someplace else away from the crowd this whole time, I guess? here I thought they had more faith in Enji’s disguise. I guess Shouto and Hawks don’t particularly want to attract this crowd’s attention themselves right now either, though.)

I am so fucking confused lmao

speaking of All Might WHERE THE FUCK IS HE lol. but yes, good, OFA brings everyone together, and Hawks is very deeply moved about this out of the blue all of a sudden. you know how it is

aw heck yeah now this is another filler panel I can get behind

Mineta really wants that hug, good lord. I genuinely love this actually. Mineta if you could just stay little and cute and keep crying about how much you love your classmates in a non-gross way for the rest of the series I would be so appreciative. you’re doing great

IIDA IS HOLDING DEKU’S HAND THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ONE TIME WASN’T ENOUGH FOR MY MAN HE’S ADDICTED NOW

what did I tell you. Kiri wants to get all of the mob’s autographs now. Kiri you’re a peach

Shouji having a conversation with another mutant type is a very nice touch! we really need to get to his backstory soon. I feel like that casual remark from GFL earlier was kind of hinting at more to come

is this the first time we’ve ever seen the Yaoyorictionary in action?? never forget that Viz tried to call it the “Yaoyorozu Reference Book” because they hate fun

last but not least, KAMIBAKU IS BACK ON THE MENU, FUCK YEAH. Kaminari trying to spice things up and introduce a little bit of controversy by smacking Kacchan on the back of the head for god knows what. I will be deeply disappointed after this if I can’t find at least one person unironically declaring that KamiBaku is now toxic and abusive

lfkdlWLWK TODODRAMA??

oh my god. Shouto’s face. Enji��s face. the back to “oyaji” again. the blunt, not-taking-no-for-an-answer, “I don’t know how much louder the universe can scream at you that doing things alone is not it, so hopefully you got the point” directness of it. fffdlkslj I’m so ready for this Horikoshi please don’t fuck it up my expectations are so high

HOLY FUCK

I SCROLLED DOWN AND HE WAS ALL “( ❛‿❛)” AND I JUST WASN’T FUCKING EXPECTING THAT OKAY. JESUS CHRIST. GIVE ME A SEC

lol okay moment over and now Enji’s pulling his hat down all dramatically like a world-weary Cowboy

OH MY GOD WERE YOU FACETIMING??

AHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: not to put Iida down or anything, but it’s kind of strange that Aizawa is all “the class rep sure did great” when Ochako is the one that was giving that whole big speech for like twenty minutes just now lol.)

(ETA 2: “thank god Iida stepped in just in the nick of time to keep Mineta from hugging Deku.” sorry Mineta I really do like you lately but it’s still low-hanging fruit lol.)

HE LOOKS SO SAD??! HE LOOKS LIKE HEARTBREAK ITSELF??! I AM BESOUGHT WITH THE URGE TO REACH INTO MY SCREEN AND PULL HIM INTO THE SAFETY OF MY ARMS??? MY GOD, AND I THOUGHT DEKU NEEDED HUGS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I was gonna just hold down the letter H for a full minute and count it out loud but within about ten seconds I realized I needed to chill lol

-- but then again NO, I DON’T NEED TO CHILL, I HAVE ZERO CHILL, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE IT’S AIZAWA WITH A ROBOT LEG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

COMPLETE WITH ROBOT TOES FOR THAT EXTRA TOUCH OF AUTHENTICITY!! I LIKE HOW HORIKOSHI PUT ALL THIS EXTRA “!!!” EMPHASIS AROUND IT IN CASE WE COULD SOMEHOW POSSIBLY FAIL TO TAKE NOTICE. “REMEMBER, EVERYONE?” SAYS HORIKOSHI HELPFULLY. “REMEMBER THAT TIME AIZAWA CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN LEG?” oh wow now that you mention it we somehow forgot all about that. like who do you take us for

OH NO NOT THE SAD BOYFRIEND ANGST THAT I WAS SECRETLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WITH GLEE

well at least he’s not M.I.A. or back with the villains again like I thought he might be. still, that’s gotta be brutal to know your friend is in there somewhere, but to not be able to reach him again no matter how hard you try. that’s the kind of angst that pays off in final battles just when you most expect it. such is my hope, at any rate

what’s this now??

trying to decide if this is Horikoshi’s way of saying don’t worry about that, or his way of saying definitely worry about that lol

anyway so Aizawa is out here being all irresponsibly handsome once again. when is someone going to do something about him

here for Sexy Robot Leg Eyepatch Aizawa clenching his fists and making speeches about revenge. pretty sure we’re all here for that

WELL, WELL, WELL

IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

I’M VERY GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE AND SEEMINGLY WELL, THOUGH!

BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH, ALL MIGHT

ffff. bracing myself for that cliffhanger next week. you’d better not touch one hair on this man’s head Horikoshi. I’m watching you

#bnha 325 #midoriya izuku #u.a. clown mob #class 1-a #aizawa shouta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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yasminbenoit · 4 years

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What Is Asexuality? Yasmin Benoit for Teen Vogue

For Asexuality Awareness Week, model Yasmin Benoit answers the question ‘what is asexuality’, and busts some common myths about what it means to be asexual.

I realized I was asexual around the same time my peers seemed to realize that they were not. Once the hormones kicked in, so did a nearly universal interest in sex for those around me. I thought sex was intriguing, but never so much that I wanted to express my sexuality with someone else. I had no sexual desire towards other people, I did not experience sexual attraction, and that hasn't changed.

I didn't learn that there was a word for my sexuality until I was 15, after being interrogated for the millionth time at school about my orientation, or lack of it. After doing some Googling as soon as I got home, I realized for the first time in my life that I might not be broken, that I wasn't alone in my experience, and that it wasn't a defect I had somehow brought on myself. I had spent the entirety of my adolescent life trying to answer people's invasive questions without having the language to explain that I was just an asexual girl.

But even after I found the language, I had only solved half of the problem. We are taught in grade school that we'll become sexually interested in others, but never that not being sexually attracted to anyone is an option. Because we're not taught about it, no one else knew what I was talking about when I tried to come out to them as asexual.

Many don't believe asexuality is real, and that makes the experience of navigating our heteronormative, hyper-sexualized society as an asexual person even harder. I've spent my life battling misconceptions about it and so have many other asexual people. Now, I try to use my work as a model and activist to raise awareness and change the way our society perceives asexuality and asexual people. This Asexual Awareness Week, I'm busting some of those myths about my orientation.

Now, let's separate fact from fiction:

Myth: Asexual people have no sexuality ✘

Truth: Asexuality is considered a sexuality, just like bisexuality, heterosexuality, and homosexuality. I often phrase it as being a sexual orientation where your sexuality isn’t oriented anywhere—because it isn't actually the same as having no sexuality or sexual feelings. Asexual people have hormones like everyone else. It isn’t uncommon for asexual people to masturbate and there are asexual people who still have sex for various reasons and gain enjoyment from it. Some asexual people are romantically attracted to others, but not sexually attracted. Since asexuality is a spectrum, the ways in which asexuality is experienced can vary in different ways.

Myth: Asexuality is a lifestyle choice ✘

Truth: This misconception stems from the idea that asexuality is a choice and not a legitimate sexual orientation. Asexuality is often confused with celibacy or abstinence, probably because they can manifest in similar ways. In contemporary society, celibacy is often defined as being sexually abstinent, often for religious reasons. Sure, for many asexual people, their asexuality means that they aren’t interested in having sex with other people, but that’s a result of their orientation—not their beliefs about sexual behavior. Celibacy is a lifestyle choice, asexuality is not. Asexuality also shouldn't be confused with being an incel. People don't decide to become asexual because they can't find sexual partners or because of any other circumstances. It isn't a state of being when you're going through a "dry spell," nor is it a choice any more than being gay or straight is a choice. It's just the way we are.\

Myth: Asexuality is an illness ✘

Truth: The assertion that asexuality is a mental or physical disorder is incredibly harmful to asexual people and has led to false diagnoses, unnecessary medication, and attempts at converting asexual people. For example, Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder and Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder — which are characterized by low or absent sex drive — are in the DSM-5 and have been thought of as a medical diagnosis for asexuality. But the difference is that people who have HSDD are bothered by their lack of sexual drive, while asexual people are not. But even the inclusion of HSDD as a diagnosis is controversial — some argue that people who are asexual might feel distress at their lack of sexual desire because of lack of acceptance in society. Asexuality is not the result of a hormone deficiency, or a syndrome, or a physical or psychological ailment. Research has said as much. We don't need to be treated or fixed.

Myth: Asexual people have anti-sex attitudes ✘

Truth: There are asexual people who are repulsed by the thought of sex, or by the thought of having sex themselves. I fall into the latter category. However, that feeling does not necessarily extend to what other people are doing. The misconception that asexual people are against other people expressing their sexuality, and that all asexual people can’t stomach conversations about sex, is quite an alienating one. It leads to asexual people being left out of important discussions about sexuality. It is entirely possible and incredibly common to have sex-positive attitudes and be asexual.

Myth: There are barely any asexual people ✘

Truth: Don't let our lack of visibility and representation fool you. There are a lot of asexual people out there, but many of us aren't entirely out, and some haven't realized that there's a word for what they're experiencing due to that lack of visibility. While research into the asexual population is lacking, its estimated that around 1% of the population is asexual—but that's based on a studies where the participants have likely known what asexuality was and been out enough to identify that way. It's likely there are more asexual people than we know of, but even if we did only comprise 1% of the population, that's still tens of millions of asexual people.

Myth: Asexual people just haven’t found the right person yet ✘

Truth: The idea that asexual people just need to meet the ‘right person’ who will unlock their sexual desire and ‘fix’ their asexuality is one I’ve always found quite perplexing. It’s an argument that seems to be applied to asexuality more than other orientations. You wouldn’t tell a straight guy that they just “hadn’t met the right man yet" as an explanation of why he's attracted to women. I’d like to think that most wouldn’t tell a gay man that they “hadn’t met the right woman yet” either. It suggests that our sexuality is reflective of our company, that no one we have ever seen or encountered has met our standards, and thus we haven’t experienced sexual attraction to the extent that the term ‘asexual’ could be applied.

This assumption ignores and invalidates all of the asexual people who have found the ‘right’ person—the asexual people in happy, fulfilling, loving relationships or who have had them in the past. Because, yes, asexual people can still have romantic relationships, or any other kind of relationship. The validity of a relationship is not and should not be based on how sexually attracted you are to that person. This statement also plays into the notion that asexual people are “missing out” on something and haven’t truly discovered our entire selves, that we are incomplete because of our innate characteristics or our life experiences. This isn’t true either.\

Myth: There’s an asexual demographic ✘

Truth: Even though most people don’t know much about asexuality, they still have quite a specific idea about what asexual people are like. I’ve often heard that, as a black woman and a model, I don’t look or seem asexual. We’re stereotyped as being awkward white kids who spend too much time on social media and probably aren’t attractive enough to find a sexual partner if we wanted to. And if we are attractive enough, then we should tone that down as not to ‘give mixed signals.’ But there is no asexual way to look or dress. Asexual people have varying ages, backgrounds, interests, appearances, and experiences, just like those belonging to any other sexual orientation. So please don't use the term "asexual" as an adjective to describe someone you think is sexually unappealing or as an insult, because that's only perpetuating this harmful stereotype.

Makeup: Margherita Lascala

Photography: Becky Gannon

Hair: Kayla Idowu

Styling: Diesel, Cheimsee, Sixth June, Northskull, Lamoda

#yasmin benoit #asexuality #ace week #ace week 2020 #asexual awareness week #asexual #aromantic #lgbt #pride #asexual pride #this is what asexual looks like #lgbtqia #lgbtqa #acephobia #aphobia #alternative black girl #alternative model #black model

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jilytoberfest · 3 years

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Author - @scriibble-fics

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this! Find her on ao3 and ffnet !

1. What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?

I don’t know how interesting this is (she says, getting that quick qualifier out of the way, because that’s otherwise how she’d answer legitimately every question), but I don’t plan out my fics in any sort of concrete form. When I first start writing, I typically have the beginning of an idea or trope or scene, and then things kind of blossom from there. The more I write, the clearer the direction of the fic becomes, and I keep all my notes for potential plot lines/pieces of dialogue/questions and answers in a chaotic pile at the end of the doc. I envy people who can plot things out clearly and concisely from the beginning, but I love discovering where things will go right along with readers!

2. What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your stories?

Honestly, it surprised the hell out of me—and still surprises me daily—that people want to read my stories. That’s not some attempt to fish for compliments or to fake modesty or something, so I hope it doesn’t come off that way! There’s just so much talent in the Harry Potter fandom generally, and in the Jily fandom specifically, that I genuinely thought I might end up with a few readers if I was lucky. To see the same people pop up with commentary with each update, and then to watch those people follow me from fic to fic, still astounds me every day.

3. Do you have any suggestions to help others become a better writer? If so, what are they?

Get out of your own head! It’s easier said than done, I know, but I put off writing Voyeur for the longest time because I was embarrassed to write something that started off, literally, with such a crazy bang. I ended up waiting until I was too exhausted from insomnia to let doubt creep into my mind, and then I sat down and wrote the entire first chapter. After that, things flowed so much easier, and now? I can’t remember the last time I wrote something that embarrassed me. It’s super freeing. Also, never delete anything! I’ve had to take away entire chapters of content before due to plotlines moving in a different direction. (This is my own fault and comes from a lack of planning for sure, but I haven’t learned my lesson!) I have a doc for each fic called “outtakes,” and I migrate everything there. I’ve been able to recycle sentences or paragraphs or even full scenes before, and it keeps me from feeling like I “wasted” time writing something I didn’t use (although no writing is ever wasted!).

4. What do you think makes a good story?

That’s hard! There are about 3,000 possible ways I could answer this, but I’ll go with something basic: tension is key, as is a satisfying resolution to the tension. The latter is what keeps me up at night.

5. What is the first book that made you cry?

I have a very vivid memory of crying around the age of 8 or 9 because I realized that the characters in The Babysitter’s Club weren’t real and I would never meet them, so I’m going with that. I know a lot of people are like, “I was so upset when I didn’t get my Hogwarts letter at 11,” but I’d already had my own what-is-fiction-and-what-is-reality crisis, so I never went through that.

6. Does writing energize or exhaust you?

It depends on the type of writing! Academic writing? That shit is exhausting. Fiction writing? I can’t get enough of it, and it energizes me more than almost anything else.

7. Have you ever gotten reader’s block? If so, what are your tips to overcome it?

Reader’s block is a new one for me! It’s a term I’ve never heard before. Honestly, I have a hard time reading when I’m also writing, and I’m nearly always writing, so maybe I have a certain amount of chronic reader’s block? For me, it’s difficult to read Jily when I’m also writing Jily, because I’m constantly worried that I’ll end up absorbing someone else’s ideas or end up comparing my work to theirs in a demotivating way. What I’ve found works for me is reading non-Jily fics, and published work as well, when I get that hankering to read but don’t want to interrupt the flow of my own thoughts.

8. Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly?

I think so! I write about a lot of emotions I’ve never personally felt and a lot of situations I’ve never been in. To me, writing is definitely about emotion, but imagination plays an even stronger role.

9. If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

You’re way stronger than you think, and you need to give yourself more credit for it. I’m still working on this, tbh.

10. What was your hardest scene to write?

Nothing really comes to mind. Writing a lot of Eighteen Again was difficult personally, because the fic deals with the theme of loss throughout, and I wrote it in part to cope with my own losses. In one way, that made it an easy fic to write, but it’s also been a difficult fic to write in for that very reason.

11. What is your favorite childhood book?

I read legitimately everything I could get my hands on. Prisoner of Azkaban was probably my most-read book, because I reread it over and over again while waiting for Goblet of Fire, to the point that I could basically quote whole sections of it. We’re talking over 20 times. I was a fiend. But I also really enjoyed The Babysitter’s Club (obviously, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY AREN’T REAL PEOPLE), The Chronicles of Narnia, and anything by Roald Dahl.

12. How long on average does it take you to write a one shot or a chapter of a fic?

Obviously it depends on the length, but I can bang out a shitty first draft in a day or two if I’m feeling especially motivated or inspired. The editing process takes longer, because I like to give it at least a couple hard edits (for content, continuity, etc. ) and then at least a couple soft edits (for word choice, sentence structure, etc.) before I post, and I like to sit on those edits for at least 24 hours between each one, although the longer the better. Without that time in between each read, I tend to miss slippery things like typos, although I’m sure a few make it into each chapter.

13. A fic that inspires you?

The Bet by sleepinghookah / @smileyjily is my comfort fic, and the fic that inspired me to start writing my own after over a decade away from the fandom.

14. How do you edit your work?

I answered this a little above, but I’ll also add this: I highlight each sentence I change after each edit. It helps me look over those sentences in particular to make sure that the sleepy edits I do on my phone at 1 AM actually make sense, and that I don’t gloss over any repeated words / typos / whatever when I get into the flow of rereading the story again.

15. Where does inspiration come from?

…can I say insomnia? Besides that, other media, conversations with friends in and out of the fandom, and daydreaming has been where most of my ideas come from.

16. Who has been helpful for you as you write for the fandom?

Oh gosh, so many people! I’m reluctant to name names because I don’t want to miss anyone, but @tumbledfreckles was my first fanfic friend by a long shot, and she’s become an actual friend since. @relyingonoldships might just be me from another life, and you can blame/thank her encouragement for me foisting Bought upon the world, because I don’t think I would have posted it without her. She also makes me laugh out loud on the regular. @tiffanytoms can also share much of the blame/credit for Bought, since her Enemy Within sparked my interest in dark!James, and she’s another one of my fav people to talk to. @maraudersftw constantly lights up my life with positivity, and her fics are bomb. Besides being a phenomenally talented writer, @clare-with-no-i discourse makes me ~think~, y’all, and she’s hilarious. There are also like 15 other people who I owe responses to in DMs who have taken time out of their days just to offer kindness, and that’s on top of all the lovely people who share their thoughts in reviews and edits and playlists and reblogs and likes and other things. Honestly, a better question might be “who HASN’T been helpful for you as you write for the fandom?” The answer is always going to be “people who leave hateful reviews because what I write isn’t their cup of tea,” but it’s so few and far between that I really can’t complain. I love this corner of the internet.

17. What is your fav POV to write from?

I started out writing James exclusively, and so much so that I had a lot of anxiety about writing from Lily’s POV. Now that I’ve tackled her a bunch? I think I’m starting to enjoy writing from her more than James, although it’s tough! I think it depends on the scene and the fic, honestly.

18. What is a fic you would love to write but are worried you won’t be able to accomplish it/nervous it wouldn’t work out?

I have no chill, so if I have an idea, I write it. Of the fics I’ve published, I’ve been most nervous about how Voyeur and Bought would be received, but people have been overwhelmingly lovely with only a few flames here and there. I’m still sitting on my Sirius/Lily/James throuple fic, mainly because even just the idea received quite a bit of criticism in my ask box. It fostered a lot of anxiety on my part, although people have been excited about it too. Still, I’ve written it even if I haven’t worked up the nerve to publish it, mainly because I truly don’t have the chill to let an idea sit dormant in my brain.

19. Do you ever self insert in fics?

I tend to empathize with every character I can, and I’m sure there are bits of me in most of the characters I write, but I’ve never done it on purpose that I can recall.

20. What is the story you are proudest of?

Notes and Magic are my two current favs. Writing both of them just made me feel good, because they’re almost entirely fluff and pining and love and lust with very little drama or angst or sadness, so they’re the ones I reread the most.

21. Do you prefer writing canon jily or muggle au?

Canon, although canon divergent is my favorite place to frolic! I’ve never done a muggle AU, but @mppmaraudergirl muggle AUs are some of my absolute favs.

22. Did the new dark!James fic had any inspiration from James and Lily going undercover in Eighteen Again or did that plot bunny came from elsewhere?

Love this! Honestly, the connection between undercover!James and dark!James wasn’t one I consciously made when I first came up with the idea of Bought. I give credit to @tiffanytoms’ Enemy Within for the initial idea of dark!James, and then credit my academic reading and research on sex work for the rest of the plot, but I’m sure there was some cross-contamination in my brain between EA and Bought.

Thank you so much for doing this!!

#scriiblefics #jilytober 2021 #jilyinterview #jilytober #jilytober fest #jily #writer interview

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choptop-sawyer · 3 years

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Hi again 😎💫 im here to dig at ur brain again bcs i. M. Aaa sorry i just love ur stuff but. I have this kinda rly specific storyline type hc area and I'd love to hear any hcs you might get from it if its at all jr thing. But um I keep sometimes thinking back to the idea of kinda, vaguely growing up in the same area as the Sawyers, being childhood friends (and being stupid 2gether, running arount the countryside, ditching school & playing in corn fields) -

But then having to leave in your late teens to school / whatever (I mean 😎 my sappy ass also thinks abt mutual pining w Bobby but you know...... nearly unrelated.......)

Then, later on (Bobbys now Chop Top, Nubbins is..... dead I guess but also >:( maybe not, the family is up to being a mess etc) returning to town to take a break from work or whatever. N meeting up w the family again, i mean, oblivious to the bullshit they get up to but.... yk

This is a bit rambly i should probs have waited to sleep but I can't get the thought of returning to the Sawyer door wearing Bobbys tie dye sweatshirt that hr borrowed u years ago and all the impact of being a former family member bc u were also kind of an outsider or whatever but also the drama of leaving so uwu sksjd

This got so long. All i wanted to ask is: sawyer family headcanons for a childhood friend returning to town after being away for years. Rip.

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS god I love the image too of just standing in the doorway,, you're not home, you've changed a little bit, but you still fit into some of the old aspects you know so well they fit you and cover you.

Actually this is great because that fic that I swear exists has pretty much the same premise but!!! I can make this one less tragic than that one. 😎

(This is mostly Chop Top n you centric please don't mind)

Also this timeline is all fucky. I think that as soon as Chop came home from Vietnam the Sawyers had basically uprooted themselves and were living in North Texas because of the... Hardesty incident. But like can we pretend that that never happened they r still there in Newt? Just for this. (Hope you like it!)

Chop Top's Childhood Friend Returns

You don't think you would have turned out the way you did without the Sawyers.

They were the main element of your childhood, a mystery that you had to be a part of. A mystery, because they were closed off. Mistrustful. The sickness of small towns carried to the extreme, because they were mostly alone. The loneliness made them more miserable, the misery made them more isolated. A cycle, a legacy.

So it was a a miracle that you were even allowed to be apart of some of it, but you attribute that miracle to Bobby.

He seemed to think you were as much of mystery as what you thought the Sawyers were. Two kids looking through a small window into another world. But he liked that. He liked that you were something different, something new. From beyond that small world of loneliness that lived in the house.

You learned quickly that he had a desire for anything beyond that world. So he'd invite you out with him, when you were kids, to run free in the tall grass, when you got older, to drive with him to places unknown. He had a knack for finding these odd places, and he always brought you along with the music cranked up loud on the radio.

Bobby told you many times that he wanted to see the world. He had this lust for life that went beyond the restlessness of the young. He also said that he wanted to bring you along with him when he saw the world. You didn't ever mention how that always made your heart skip a beat when he said that.

Maybe you should have. But the past is the past and you can't change that.

You knew the other Sawyers too, but Bobby tended to avoid them sometimes. But occasionally, you got to hang out with them.

Nubbins was an enigma. You didn't think Nubbins was his real name. But that's the only one you heard from him, but the name situation was the least confusing thing. He was the most open person you knew. And yet you couldn't understand him, and decided at some point that you wouldn't ever. But he was fun. His energy was infectious, if he was filled with joy, you couldn't help but laugh with him too. That was Nubbins, so absent of any purposeful deceit that he was almost a mirror, you saw yourself around him, sometimes it was uncomfortable, but other times it was fun.

Bubba was the opposite. He seemed to be legitimately wary of you. Bobby once told you that Bubba didn't like to leave the house, ever. He stayed and did the chores. You wondered if he minded, being stuck with all the chores but Bobby said he didn't. It was comforting for him. Always having something set to do. You only saw him once. Nubbins had made him tag along when he needed him to hang some things from a tree. Bones from indeterminate animals, a clock with a nail through it. You don't think Nubbins actually needed Bubba to reach the branches (he climbed pretty well) but he just wanted his little brother to see his work. Bubba didn't make eye contact with you the entire time. He was wholly focused on his task of helping Nubbins. But he was gentle when he helped his brother, careful, and for that you liked him.

Drayton was... well. He was the one Bobby argued with the most. He was his brother, but with how much age between the two, it was almost hard to believe sometimes. Drayton was the one that everybody in Newt knew the most. People liked him well enough, but they said he was odd behind his back. He knew that. You don't think he trusted anything outside the insular world he and his family had existed in for years, and was at odds with Bobby because he didn't get why Bobby wanted anything to do with the world outside.

Oftentimes you would see Bobby after he and Drayton got into it. He'd be fuming, but he'd smile when he saw you. You'd leave with him whenever he came to you. These adventures were the most fun you had when you were there.

The other times you'd go off were when he'd convince you to skip school. Bobby never went himself. He didn't get the idea of all those kids sitting in classrooms for hours, doing nothing but writing and listening. Why do that when you can find things out for yourself? Get into some trouble? In his mind, he was saving you from a very boring thing.

You two knew the area around Newt well. The fields and the flat expanses were the best kind of playground. Your dreams were still set in them. A kind of sunshine filled melancholy.

Bobby told you things in the grass. His dreams yes, but his own thoughts. On music, on late night radio, on movies, on you. He perhaps thought of you as wonderful as voices on the radio, stars on the screen. He never told you that though. But your name was never far from his mouth when Bobby talked about the things he loved.

You and him loved each other as much as two kids who didn't know how to could. He was always on your mind now, with not much tangible objects to remember him with. A photograph taken by Nubbins, your faces blurred because you were laughing. A button, the pin on the back bent. A sweatshirt, which he tie dyed himself, and gave to you one night. The colors were faded. You never did get to return it.

The years away did nothing to lessen thoughts of him. No, they just blurred all together now, and the stream of the sunshine filled melancholy was almost endless. You needed a break. There was only one place you could think of that could help you with that.

So you came back. All things led back to this place eventually. Newt was dying, or dead. Didn't you see somewhere that when a ship went down, it took everything with it? You didn't want to stay for long. But you had to see all of them, you had to know that they were all not these strange figures you had dreamt up.

You went right to the house. You'd never actually been allowed inside, Bobby just always said something along the lines of 'Grandma and Grandpa are napping upstairs' or 'there's a mess' (never mind that he could care less usually about messes.) But you figured he had had a good reason. Maybe he was embarrassed.

When you knocked on the door, your heart was pounding. And that was all. Nothing happened, no indication that anyone was there. You waited, the sweatshirt was too hot but you didn't want to take it off.

Maybe you should come back another time. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door burst open, almost whacking you in the face. And there (you couldn't believe your eyes you couldn't this was a dream) he was.

Bobby had a hammer raised over his head, grinning, he was poised to swing it down, but then he saw you and he felt as if he was in a dream too.

It's been so long. He thought he made you up, a dream to carry him through misery, and you looked the part, even as you stood before him on the doorway. The light of the setting sun shone behind you, heat waves shimmered in the dusk, and you... you.

Facing each other, you stood, just staring. Over head the sky grew colorful, in the fields the grass whispered in the wind. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby dropped the hammer and grabbed for your face, and he held it, fingers digging in so tight it hurt.

"H-hey you." He said, and fell to his knees, releasing your face. You numbly touched the marks his fingers left. Bobby still looked like a man who had seen a ghost.

You called his name, and his eyes looked lost, like he hadn't heard it in a long time. He looked up at you, and you could really get a good look at him. His face was leaner, he looked sickly and wiry, but his eyes were just as you remembered. You sank down to the porch to sit with him.

"Fuck... FUCK I didn't... I- I thought ya'd forgotten all about me... uh.. uhm. Fuck! I mean, r-really! Turnin' up out of the blue like you're some kinda... ghost or whatever... WHOA man... like, ya here to return m-my, my sweatshirt? You're wearin' it, you can keep it! You look better in it anyway... heh, fuck." He rambled on and on, hands tensing and twitching as if they were moving to touch you again, just to reaffirm your existence. Did he know how glad you were to see him? Did he know that you hadn't felt right for the longest time being away?

You forgot all about the sweatshirt, the hammer he had raised with a sadistic grin. You reached out and held one of his twitching hands, and he stilled and stopped talking. There was a peace now.

It didn't seem possible for your heart to feel this full. But it was. And by god, if this wasn't the best decision you made in your life to visit your old hometown, if only just for this moment.

Bobby stood, with your hand still in his, pulling you up. He smiled at you, and you knew you still loved him, and in your deepest heart, you knew he loved you too.

But this time around, maybe you and him could love each other right.

#tcm #texas chainsaw #chop top #chop top sawyer #chop top sawyer x reader #tcm 2 #texas chainsaw massacre #slashers #slasher x reader #my writing #chop top x reader #choptop sawyer

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emitheduck · 3 years

Text

So. We're Soulmates? (Bucky x Reader)

A/N: my first soulmate AU, and I figured it was finally time, and bucky deserved one lol. no spoilers whatsoever

Soulmate AU where you have your soulmate’s birthday tattooed on your arm ---

March 10th, 1917.

(Y/n) had always thought, there was no possible way that the universe had ever, ever gotten her soulmate’s birthday right. When everyone was celebrating that their soulmate was around the same age as them, she got to look down in horror as she could practically see her soulmate’s life fly by. There was legitimately no possible way that her soulmate would even still be alive.

The rules of the soulmate were strange, and no one ever understood them or questioned them. It was found out sometime in the 80s that the dates on peoples forearms weren’t random--but the birthday of their soulmate. Because the universe was a cosmic nightmare, when someone’s soulmate died, the numbers went with them.

That’s what made this so strange.

Either (Y/n)’s soulmate was hanging onto life support, or the universe had fucked up and decided it was going to trick her into thinking she could find happiness like everyone else.

She had these feelings up until she got the faithful call one day, that she had landed the job with SHIELD and found out that she would be working in the helicarrier during the attack on New York. And that’s how she met Steve Rogers.

“You know, it’s kind of funny.” Steve sighed with a chuckle, shaking his head as he followed (Y/n) who was leading him to where he would be staying.

“What is?” She asked as she typed in the access code for one of the doors as they walked.

“The number on your arm. That’s my friend’s birthday.” Steve was smirking as he walked into his room. “I mean, it was his birthday.”

(Y/n) looked down at the date on her arm and sighed, her hand instinctively covering the date. “You sure he’s dead? Not some hundred-year-old veteran in a nursing home that you haven’t checked in on or something?” She was trying her best to not sound horrible for joking about his friend's death, but he seemed almost amused by her banter.

“Last I checked, he’s dead. I watched him fall off the train and everything.” He told her as he sat down on the edge of his bed. “His name was Bucky.” He told her as she turned around to leave, watching her stop for a moment to listen before she left.

Steve’s words always lingered in the back of her mind ever since that day on the helicarrier. She had seen the Bucky memorial spot in the museum, and the day she found out that he was alive, she would never forget (mostly because when it happened, she had dropped the bottle of wine she was holding on the floor and spent hours picking up tiny shards of glass).

The year was now 2023. Five years after the blip, and (Y/n) now fully retired from SHIELD. She left on good terms, but the years of working were just exhausting. Especially now that she came back after vanishing for five years and had to rebuild her life all over again. At least they were respectful, and were happy to give her the pay that she had missed out on.

It was hard enough having to deal with knowing all your close friends sacrificed themselves for the whole world, and not being able to do anything about it. That was the reason that kept her up most nights. The guilt of feeling like she could have done something, but never got the chance to, was the hardest feeling.

That’s what led (Y/n) to walking aimlessly around the grocery store at almost 2am. When she couldn’t sleep, sometimes the best thing to do was walk around pushing the cart and praying that the LED lights would calm her down enough to go home and face the empty apartment.

What she didn’t expect was turning the corner of the frozen section and crashing her cart into someone elses. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” (Y/n) apologize as she looked at the man in front of her. “I should have been looking. I guess I’m just tired.”

“I’m probably just tired too.” He chuckled, pulling his cart away from hers. Both the carts were empty anway. “You come here to walk around at night too?”

“How could you tell?” (Y/n) laughed, running a hand through her hair as she looked him over. He looked familiar, and knowing her luck he was some assassin that was stalking her, and came here to finish the job.

He motioned to their empty carts with a bob of his head. “Something about just pushing the carts around and listening to the crappy music makes me feel better too.” He smirked as he never broke eye contact. “Also, people normally buy food when they’re shopping.”

(Y/n) sighed, nodding. “You caught me. I’m just here to wander.”

“It’s okay. I am too. Sometimes staring at the TV isn’t enough.” He mumbled, shaking his head as he broke eye contact to look where his hands were gripping the handle of the cart. “Sorry, I’m just rambling I guess.”

“No, I get it.” She laughed it off, knowing it was late and sometimes people just kept talking when they were tired. “My names (Y/n).” She smiled, holding out her hand for him to shake.

He seemed to hesitate, but reached out and shook her hand. “My name’s Bucky.”

She could feel her mouth go dry. “Bucky?” There was just no, possible way that this was the man who has been in the back of her mind for years on end.

“I’m guessing you know who I am.” He muttered, already preparing himself to turn around and forget this interaction never happened. “Sorry, I should go.”

“Wait! No, I didn’t mean it like that.” (Y/n) exclaimed as she held her hands out to stop him from leaving. “I just have heard so much about you--not the way you think, it sounds so weird. I talked to Steve about you once, way back before the battle of New York.”

She peaked his interest at the mention of Steve. “You knew Steve?”

(Y/n) nodded. “He told me all about you. Look, I even have your birthday on my arm.” She told him, lifting up her sleeve to show him the date on her arm, watching his eyes go wide out of shock. “Steve liked to always tease me that I had your birthday, and I always told him that I probably had some old man, sitting in some hospital bed, decaying before our eyes. Wow, I am rambling, I am so sorry. I should leave.” She was bright red as she decided to just leave her cart where it was and accept the humiliation and leave.

“No, you don’t have to go.” Bucky told her, gently grabbing her arm to stop her from leaving. “I guess now that you showed me yours, I’ll show you mine.” He grinned as he let go of her arm, using his left hand to pull up his long sleeve. There on his arm, in bold black numbers was (Y/n)’s birthday clear as day.

“Do you maybe want to go get coffee at that 24 hour place across the street? We might have a bit we need to talk about.” She was dumbfounded. Steve would always tease and joke, telling her that Bucky was her soulmate just because it was the same birthday on her arm. But due to the fact that he was presumed dead for so long, (Y/n) never thought anything of it.

“Are you going to come inside? I’ve been holding the door open for almost a minute.” Bucky asked, laughing a little uncomfortably as he watched the woman just stand at the door of the diner. She didn’t even remember the walk to get there.

(Y/n) blinked, rubbing her eyes as she nodded and walked inside. The sign said seat yourself, and she found a nice seat by the window for the two of them. “Sorry. I guess I’m just a little speechless.”

He chuckled as he shifted in the booth. “I’ll be honest. Me too.”

“So. We’re soulmates.” She shrugged, feeling uncertain of herself. Finding her soulmate was never the first thing on her mind, because she never actually thought that she would find him. Sure, the universe also had a way of making the two cross paths at some point, but because of the age, she never cared.

“When I used to see the date on my arm, I thought it was a joke.” He told her, mumbling that he wanted a coffee when the waiter walked over and asked what they wanted. “She wants a coffee. Two cream, one sugar.” He said as the other man nodded and walked away.

“How did you know my coffee order?” She asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

Bucky opened his mouth like he was about to speak but sighed. “I legit have no idea. My brain was working for me, and it just came out.”

(Y/n) laughed. “I mean, we’re cosmically linked so it does make sense.” The coffee was set down in front of them and she smiled as she held onto the mug. “Is this when I ask if you can tell me about yourself?”

“Where do I start?” He asked as he set his coffee down after taking a sip. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but I go by Bucky. James is only for when shit hits the fan I guess.”

“I think I prefer Bucky.” She smiled, watching as his cheeks turned red for a moment.

“What about you Doll? What fun thing do you have to tell me?” Bucky asked her with a smirk, making it her turn to blush.

“I worked for SHIELD, that’s where I met Steve. But then there was that time we found out that Hydra was inside of SHIELD, and technically you tried to kill me.” She pointed out, watching as he put his head down in shame. “But that’s all in the past now. I’m not that person anymore.”

He took a sip of his coffee before he spoke. “What changed?”

(Y/n) sighed, shaking her head as she held onto her coffee mug for warmth. “I was pretty close with Steve and Natasha. Tony helped me get the job at SHIELD, too. Three people that I looked up to more than anything, were gone before I ever got a chance to say goodbye.” She told him, knowing that there would be no more tears left to cry. Her tear-ducts seemed to stop working after she had cried for days straight that they were gone.

“I wasn’t very close to anyone but Steve, but I do understand how you feel.” He told her, leaning across the table to rest a hand on her shoulder. “Do you live in the city?”

“I live pretty close to Hell’s Kitchen.” She told him, watching as he nodded. “I’m guessing you live in Brooklyn?”

He looked a little surprised, but still smiled. “How could you tell?”

She smiled back, a little shy. “Some part of me just knew, but the other part of me heard Steve talk about Brooklyn all the time. He loved it there, and I guess I thought you did too.”

“It’s definitely still amazing, but a lot has changed. I’m still getting used to it all.” Bucky confessed, putting down some money for the coffee as they both finished and stood up from the table.

(Y/n) checked her phone and sighed at the time. 3:30 in the morning, and there was no way she was going to sleep now. Now, she was going to ride the train and hope that the rocking of the subway would be enough to turn her mind off for a while. “I should get going. It’s getting late, and I’m taking the train back.”

He nodded, seeming a little uneasy that she was about to leave. “Do you maybe want my number? We could meet up someday, maybe get to know eachother better?”

She grinned as she handed him her phone. “Put your number in.” She told him as they traded phones, smirking as she put in her contact. “I put my information as (Y/n)-Soulmate, just in case you seemed to forget.”

“Oh trust me, I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” Bucky chuckled as he looked at her contact. “Promise you’ll call?”

“Considering the fact I’ve known you for a few hours, and I’m already completely head-over-heels for you, I don’t think you have to worry.” (Y/n) told him, leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Bye for now, but not bye forever.”

Bucky was grinning like an idiot, and he knew it. “I like the sound of that. I still just can’t believe I found you after all these years.”

“You better believe it, because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me from now on.”

MASTERLIST

#bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky x reader #marvel #reader insert #reader #bucky imagine #falcon and the winter solider #winter solider x y/n

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

Note

After that gorgeous sequel rant, would you be willing to share your thoughts on reylo?

Ugh.

Once again, that is the most succinct, easiest, answer I can supply. But it's so short, and that just won't do.

I mentioned in a recent post that Dramione comes in a myriad of disguises. Every fandom usually has at least one Dramione ship, you can usually guess which characters the ship will consist of, and while you might not be able to articulate exactly what about it makes it so damn similar to Dramione you will recognize it on sight.

Usually, to me, a Dramione ship features a strong, independent, female lead who may be varying levels of sexually empowered, varying levels of intelligent (Hermione loves to tell us how smart she is but it's not the heart of the ship), is strong, courageous, and noble who depending on the story du jour might slide into depravity. The real give away is her love interest, always a man, usually a young man of comparable age, who has the bad boy appeal that's not too bad boy where he often is redeemed to the good side for 'reasons' in the course of the story.

Reylo is such a Dramione pairing.

You don't believe me? Look at the authors who write it, I haven't done this too often myself, but I guarantee you that a not small majority of them will either write Draco/Hermione or will have it all over their favorites and bookmarks. It's the same damn pairing.

But worse.

Because Kylo-Ren and Rey aren't really characters.

"Whoa, hold up!", you say, "That's just slander and uncalled for!" Well, change my mind. Rey Palpatine and Kylo-Ren are a series of character tropes and archetypes thrown to us by Disney screaming "LOVE MY CHARACTERS".

Rey is our noble, very Luke like, hero who is a scrappy desert rat with overwhelming mystical powers only acknowledged when the movies feel like acknowledging them (guys, admit Rey kicked Kylo-Ren's ass every time they fought with 0 training, come on, it's not hard).

However, there is nothing underneath her surface. Her hero worship of the resistance feels dull and given to her because it's expected. Of course Rey likes the resistance! The resistance is great! Sign her up! Rey has been living in the desert at the edge of nowhere for presumably 15 years, I'm shocked she's even heard of the new republic let alone the resistance. Despite essentially starving and only having a home that's a broken down old fighter, Rey saves a random droid. We're not really given a compelling reason of why she would do this, that she has a deep respect for droids/is horrified by their use, really really really hates the random trader she sells things to, or really really really hates the empire (if she even realizes it's them behind the bounty). She does it just so that a) the plot keeps moving b) to show Rey is... noble... I guess?

Remember that even Luke (who I have some problems with as a character) started his journey with more backstory and personality than this. Luke loved the empire and desperately wanted to become a pilot. He was very put out that his aunt and uncle kept saying, "Uh, no, bad idea." Luke was ready to skip town and sign on up for flight academy, he just got distracted by pretty women, er, his sister.

So, Rey is never given a compelling reason to do any of the things she does in the series. Just vague feelings of hero worship. And, of course, the drama over her parents. Just... I feel like Disney took out a hat, put a bunch of pieces of paper with words on them, and drew out the one that said "orphan angst about parents" and said "See, now she's conflicted! What a character!"

So yeah, Rey is your cardboard generic hero who is so generic she's not even a person. She has no hopes, no dreams, no fears, just these vague things we're told as an audience she cares about but never shown in any legitimate manner. Rey likes the resistance and rando droids, Rey imprints on Han Solo as the father she never had, Rey has this thing about her parents, Rey is attracted to Kylo Ren.

And that last one, oh boy that last one. It sold me less on the attraction to Kylo Ren than... oh... I don't know... Palpatine's secret Sith planet of doom. I mean, we all saw it coming, The Last Jedi it was very clear where that was going and then Abrams went for it even harder. But what we had was a series of skype conversations where Rey went from "Gr, you killed my pseudo father!" and Kylo-Ren responding, "Yeah, well he was my real father AND HE WAS SO MEAN" to "Oh Ben, I will fly to you through space and we shall save the galaxy together!"

I am given no reason to believe Rey's change of heart. Han Solo's death just suddenly... doesn't really mean much to her anymore (the man was murdered by his son in cold blood so that his son could feel better about himself). She believes Ben Solo is good now because Luke is a dick (never mind that, no matter what a dick Luke is, Ben Solo still murdered dozens of children and then went on to gleefully massacre his way through the galaxy). We're told there's a Force Dyad, which is um... not this thing the writer's made up because they were too lazy to convince me that Kylo-Ren and Rey would end up together in any organic way.

So, yeah, why does Rey like Kylo-Ren? Because the Force told her too? Because it was somehow all Snoke's fault in a way that's never properly described? (Indeed despite us spending quite a bit of time on Kylo-Ren's decision to remain Kylo-Ren being a very internalized thing) Because we saw him shirtless in yoga pants this one time?

It's bad when that last is actually the most legitimate reason I can think of out of the whole lot.

Now let's go to Kylo-Ren. If Rey is boring and nonsensical then Kylo-Ren is a dumpster fire and non-sensical. The guy reminds me a lot of Commodus from the film "Gladiator", the man is cowardly, vile, and murders his father in despair that his father never will be capable of loving him/passes him over for the throne. Kylo-Ren's murder of Han Solo is extremely similar to the murder of Marcus Aurelius in "Gladiator". Han Solo is a flawed father, trying to make his peace with his son, who approaches him unarmed and Kylo-Ren decides to murder him in order to solidify his place in the dark side.

Only, the films never acknowledge that every action Kylo-Ren takes is horrifying.

We're told "oh, Kylo-Ren exists because evil Snoke corrupted him" but also shown repeatedly that Kylo-Ren chooses the darkest path again and again and again. He "struggles with the light" but I don't see it. His opening scene, he has massacred a village and is torturing a man for information (this is presumably a daily routine for him). In the same film he later tortures Rey for information. He serves on a Death Star which wipes out billions in an instant. He murders his father to feel good about himself. He dresses as a man who was reviled and feared throughout the galaxy, a man who murdered countless children, and a man who dressed the way he did because he was barely hanging onto life, because Kylo-Ren thinks it makes him look like a badass. Think about it, this is like if a fully abled Kylo-Ren is wheeling around in a wheel chair, perfectly capable of walking, because he thinks that Professor X is so cool. Now, replace Professor X with Hitler, this is what the movies gave us.

Yet, the films seem to take it for granted that Kylo-Ren is a redeemable character. He's just lost and misguided, he's really struggling with the light and dark side! They don't just tell us this over and over again (which they do) but also just assume we know it.

And base the entire Reylo pairing off of it. Reylo believed Kylo-Ren could be redeemed, they battle Snoke together, then Kylo-Ren stabs her in the back and continues the assault on the Resistance and asks her to be his Dark Queen (TM). Reylo is shocked and appalled, I'm just wondering what movie she thought she was watching, because that was coming a mile away.

Later, when Kylo-Ren is redeemed, we're never given a reason why it happens. Leia just gives him a nagging, one word, phone call and then Han Solo shows up to go, "Ben, are you going to do the right thing?" and Ben goes, "Mumble, grumble, fine" because there's only an hour left in the last film.

Kylo-Ren, like Rey, is the writers' desperate attempt to create a compelling anti-hero with all the anti-hero sauce we love. They just won't admit they made an overgrown genocidal toddler.

Wow, this turned into why I hate both Rey and Kylo Ren, but, uh, back to the ship. Basically, the films give me 0 reason to ever believe it, and even if I wanted to, even if I said "Alright brain, let's make these characters real people for once", I still wouldn't like it. Because the ship itself is just as flat as the characters. It's spicy but not too spicy bad boy gets together with strong female lead.

I know a lot of people enjoy this, and I won't say it's any less legitimate than any of the weirdness I ship, but I'm not one of them. And the whole thing just makes me go "ugh".

#ask #anon #anti reylo #anti kylo ren #anti rey #anti star wars sequels

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