#i had to add edward and freddy

[fischerfrey]

fankids appreciation, day seven; family dynamics

agnes malinda and ethel malinda ethel is the firstborn child of agnes malinda and jacob macmillan. she has a complicated relationship with her family but her parents love her very much and are proud of her achievements. henry of alderly and edward of alderly edward is the firstborn child and only son of henry and cora, the duke and duchess of alderly. edward often disagrees with his father and doesn't understand him. edward of alderly and frederica "freddy" of alderly freddy is the oldest child of edward of alderly and jocelyn somerset. she is close with her father and the two share a similar sense of humour. anora brindlemore and bloom brindlemore bloom is the older of anora's two children. they have a troubled relationship and bloom dislikes having her mother as his professor at hogwarts. anora is protective of her children and bloom finds it stifling. verna malinda and rowan "roe" malinda roe is the only child of verna malinda and merula snyde. they are close with their parents, even though he gets in trouble and causes headaches for her mums.

event by @endlessly-cursed

[wheelercore]

Mike, Victor, Fred, and Ted: weird murder/killing & PTSD subtext

Now that I have been thinking Too Much about Fred, I am interested in the "holding the mirror up" aspect of it.

We see them intentionally show Fred's reflection on the grandfather clock

Which the camera angle in which this was done reminds me SO MUCH of how they reflected Victor in the bathwater where the spiders were.

Also notice when Victor was arrested it was against the same wall the grandfather clock stands against-it actually might be there within frame on the right but that also might be a doorway- I'm not sure. Looks like its probably a doorway but the clock is somewhere around there.

You also have the fire similarity between Fred's vision and Victors:

The similarity being: murderer

They both feel and intense amount of guilt for what they have done- however both was an accident. Victor, I think, pretty obviously has PTSD and Fred might have also. We'll get to this later.

They also do the same reflection into the grandfather clock with Henry- right as he uses his powers for the first and it immediately cuts to him killing a rabbit.

Also the rainbow being ~~gay~~ but also may I say it might also be a reference to Henrys future killings in the Rainbow Room.

The thing that interests me is why the grandfather clock is associated with 'murderer'? In fact it's what is associated with Henry's powers, which is what he then uses to kill his family and the kids in the rainbow room. We also see the clock presents most of the time as jutting out of trees (Chrissy- reference to Nancy in s1) and walls (Patrick and Max)- which are places we've seen be associated with a breach in the barrier between the UD and RSU. As if the clock is forcing it's way from the UD to the RSU- like we see repeatedly UD beasts do.

So in a sense the symbolism works like this:

Clock -> breaching the barrier between the UD and RSU -> akin to UD monsters -> the UD monsters being a mirror/reflection of humanity's predatory nature -> predator defined as "preys on the weak" -> mentions of various famous killers (Freddy Krueger, Michael Meyers, and Ted Bundy- all in the same episode by the way).

Its especially interesting that Fred is a mix of Mike and Ted:

(Mikes s3 scar and Ted's glasses. Again, all in the same episode.)

Mind you, they make a whole circle of character-murderer references: Victor is compared to Michael Meyers, Eddie (not a murderer but was witness to one and is later accused) is compared to Ted Bundy (both names are short of Edward also), and I believe Vecna/Henry is compared to Freddy Krueger at some point also.

To add to this, the topic of PTSD is also something shared, I believe, between Fred, Victor, Mike, and Ted (and also most likely Henry but I haven't really looked into any specific uses of symbolism, name games, etc etc im lazy).

I believe I saw @aemiron-main mention previously about how it seemed that Victor had gained weight over the course of the Creel sequences given to us. While neither Victor nor Henry, I believe, are inclined to mention how much Victor had been eating once he was triggered by the Vecna visions so we don't necessary see any explicit confirmation of it, to me in a round-about way its supported by Ted's eating habits particularly in s2 and how that ties back to Victor since they're paralleled in this sense.

(Em, you're the resident expert on Victor so feel free to add anything on here related to this if you would like to. I'm sure you have much more coherent things/proof to say about this than I do when it comes to Victor haha).

In Henry's monologue (which is literally just the writers "spelling it out to us" as promised), he mentions eating as one of the distractions, ie just another way of describing coping mechanisms (heavy themes of mental illness/trauma all over the place in s4 as it relates to conformity and the metaphor behind Vecna).

In season 2 we hardly see Ted not eating/drinking (dinner scenes- obviously, doorbell scene with Dustin where he was holding a mug in his hand). Even in the opening scene he's the only person eating pringles (?) in the kitchen with Karen and Holly:

Even in the end of s1 he's apparently fallen asleep while eating out of a large bowl of popcorn.

Multiple times overeating is brought up with Karen angrily commenting that she hopes he's enjoying his chicken after we see her observe twice Ted not backing her up at the dinner table but rather just drinking/chewing (mind you this is all happening while discussion wills disappearance is going on, with the general consensus in the town being that Will was taken by a child abductor/murder- with Ted's See what happens? line being particularly interesting):

and Dustin jokingly putting an excessive amount of pancakes on his plate after Ted sarcastically tells him to "take us for all we're worth".

Hell, even the scene were Ted is holding a random donut in the church in s4- it's overeating/eating when its inappropriate, particularly doing a stressful moment, and again, this was related to the serial killings of Chrissy, Fred, and Patrick and how Eddie was scapegoated for it. Or Ted being the only person eating at Will's funeral, very obvious because he's the only one holding a plate. And these are only instances I remember off the top of my head.

Victor, while, again, we don't see as much of an association with food we do see him repeatedly get triggered over the course of the events shown to us. Victor describes his vecna visions as "living nightmares" which is a callback to Hopper and Joyce's conversation, again, in season 2:

Victors visions, unlike Virginia's, were intentionally very reminiscent of PTSD flashbacks. Victor was being repeatedly triggered all throughout the time of being "haunted" by this "demon".

Switching back around to Mike for a bit, we get the parallel in s4 to the s1 dinner scene, this time with Mike, who, unlike his father, is not eating very much. And Will, from the same vantage point as Karen in the s1 scene and like Karen, notices subtly:

Takes a similar sip of his drink when El storms off, similar to how Ted takes a sip of his drink both times when Nancy and Mike storm off. Honestly it would have been funny if Murray had made chicken risotto.

Regardless to get to my point, these can be signs of traumatic events happening in the past:

(x)

While again, it's hard to tell with Victor, because comparatively we don't see much of him, there are some subtle hints. Talking about being "moody":

Dr. Owens explicitly mentions "changes in personality" as a sign of PTSD to look out for.

There's the clothing parallel between Mike and Ted related to this in again, you guessed it, season 2:

Both are scenes in which they are acting pretty irritable and standoff-ish to someone. Mike being this way towards Max due to the trauma and guilt of watching El "die" at the end of s1, related to death- again like Victor and Fred, however Mike was not culpable although I suppose he may have felt that he had not done enough to save El.

We don't know what's up with Ted, but he was actually strangely in this scene- not hearing the incessant ringing of the doorbell or even noticing Karen out loud ask him to get the door judging from the fact that he says "I'll get it" as if he hadn't heard her. Karen seemed annoyed by this as if this has become a common occurrence in the last year or so. He seemed to have been intensely concentrated or more so distracted, obviously with a drink in his hand.

stranger things writers dot twitter are sooo correct s2 is underrated we love the PTSD season

Notice how both are all dressed up- projecting an image of having yourself together, "perfection", when you're really not. Reminds me of that scene of s1 where Mike is complains the tie is choking him, and Ted tells him that that's how its supposed to be. Symbolizing an excessive amount of control over oneself and ones emotions (choking oneself as symbolized by clothing), which is seen through various habits, e.g. overeating/lack of eating.

Now, last thing that's a bit of a tangent, but going all the way back to this theme of murderers and killing- e.g. Mike's survivor's guilt, the interesting parallel between Holly and Henry catch my attention. Both are described as "explorers". Henry after he looks into the grandfather clock and 'gains' his abilities:

I saw my parents as they truly were. They presented themselves as good, normal people. But like everything else in this world, it was a lie. A terrible lie. They had done terrible things, Eleven. Such awful things.

(Sorry I ran out of image space >.<)

After Holly witnesses the Demogorgon ("predator") almost come out of the wall, again like we see with the grandfather clock which is reflected on Fred (Ted+Mike), Karen describes her as an explorer- which is referenced back to Henry seeing his parents for who they truly were. Holly then also notices the flesh monster from the ferries wheel (UD "predator") but Karen and Ted tell her to ignore it and look at the pretty fireworks. We know Holly was at the pool when Karen was flirting with Billy there, however what "terrible", "awful" thing Ted had done in the past is still unknown.

Shortly after this in s3- Karen, Ted, and Holly become the family unit which is then indirectly described in the church scene as "a lie designed to hide a truth", with Karen and Ted's clothing paralleling Mike and El's from early s3 when they were being an annoyingly fake couple.

While Victors fate is almost obviously reminiscent of Oedipus (the whole eye gouging and all- falling into a fate that was one of his own doing when he accidentally murdered that family during the war)- Mike does also get two moments were he technically "blinds" himself all throughout s4: the sun glasses in the airport and the sensory deprivation glasses at that pizza place- a fate that more closely follows Oedipus: kill your father, become your father, and then marry your mother.

(the last one being a whole nother long post)

Anyways... what exactly happened in 1959?

[babiebom]

Im a Bit curious about who your favorite characters are from the fandoms your writing for (also love your taste in kpop)

PS: k-drama recommendation

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

- Until we meet again (it's thai but still good)

- The sadness (Korean film)

- How may I help you

- Mouse

- Lovenest

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

- Style (from 2009)

Ohoohoo~ anon you fell into my trap I love ranting about my faves also thank you(x3) for the recs Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is one of my favorite kdramas and Park Boyoung is like my third favorite actress so I already know your taste is good without having seen anything else also putting my faves below the cut because only god himself can stop me now. (I promise I will try to keep this short and sweet)

Warnings: spoilers for some series, cursing, bit of sus wording and thoughts yknow

Stardew Valley

Sebastian (Sebby/Seb/Loml)

Can you tell that I'm a sucker for grumpy bf x sunshine gf tropes????

Honestly along with the reader insert fic in gonna write(lets hope I finish it) I wanna write maybe a Seb x OC or something idkidk

Of the bachelorettes Penny is my favorite bc shes lowkey me (I sometimes teach kids and I want to have a bunch of them love housewife vibes)

In ridgeside so far Phillip is my favorite mostly bc I don't know the others that well amd im only gifting 6 people at a time and he just so happened to get picked he's so cute I love it when people are passionate about something

In Stardew Valley Extended Victor is the loml like yeah he's a rich guy but he also seems like a huge nerd and I love him

Also Claire(the joja mart girl) my tired queen plus

Also in terms of the kids Yuuma>Jas>Vincent>Trinnie>Keahi

Mystic Messenger

At first I was a Zen girl

Then I was a Yoosung girl

Then I was a Jaehee girl

Then I was a Jumin girl

And now I'm in my final form as a Saeyoung girl

I love him so much my man my man

I played this game for MONTHS like I was at school pulling my phone out to hurry through a chat room so i didn't miss anything

Was waking up in the middle of the night

The chokehold these men had on my PLS

Five Nights At Freddy's

Ok so at first i hated this game bc im a crybaby and it scared me so bad

Also bc I had an intense fear of animatronics and people in the mascot suits as a kid after going to chuck e cheese and being terrified of the things om stage and then getting stuck in a ride its a whole thing omfg

But then security breach came out and I was like oh? Why'd they make the animatronics sexy????? So like the first couple of games I dont have a favorite(except i think Chica is ugly dont hate me) bc like theyre kid souls but since the sb animatronics arent ghost kids indo have a favorite

Which is Monty

I love him he is my gator man<3333 also justice for Foxy I know he would've been cute af.

Dead By Daylight

Killerwise Ghostface is my favorite

And I know its a basic bitch answer but omfg that man could be the cause of my demise and I would say thank you

Also Oni is cool

Also trickster is cute

Womanwise for killer the Artist is my favorite shes so pretty I love her

I hate specifically wesker and the twins I feel like i needed to add this BC I hate them so much also Freddy kreuger but like thats obvious bc its included in my rules

Survivors I love are Leon(again basic bitch answer) Jake Park, Dwight, and theres more but i cant remember r n

For women its Nea(I main her), Meg, Ada, Kate, Elodie, again theres more but I cant remember and my brain is hurting

I do not like feng min or whatsherface the kpop manager lady bc of how people play them

Twilight

Team Edward or Jacob?

I am an Emmett girl

I am also a Seth girl

They have been the loves of my life since the movies came out

When I read the books I liked Carlisle the most <3

Honestly twilight making a comeback was the best tike for me bc of all the new content people were making

I love the series pls

Also again Womanwise Rosalie is the loml

Also alice

Also Esme

Also Leah

Pls the women are so amazing

Harry Potter

Also lemme preface this by saying I do not agree with jkr or anything she has been saying

But I did get into this fandom a couple years ago when i was in high school because of a friend

And I do still love the series but now I only consume fanmade things

That being said Remis Lupin has my heart

Also Fred and George

And Cedric

And if anyone wanted to know my house I am a Hufflepuff<3

The Outsiders

Through and through I am a Dallas girl

Can yall tell my type yet?

When reading the book I was also a Johnny girl and I literally wanted the best for him and was so mad When he DID NOT GET IT

Now that I'm older that entire situation is bullshit

Like as a 22 year old that still lives with her family the thought of having to take care of myself plus younger siblings with no help and also have the house where everyone hangs out stresses me out

Like I love my little sister but i am so glad my parents have raised us to have and keep jobs even if we hate it bc I know she would help me with everything

Like I know Soda helped as much as he could but GOD bad situation for everyone

Johnny did not deserve the ending he got

The Walking Dead

Okay so lemme just say that I am into dilfs this is a dilf loving safe space idc

Rick can get it and him being lowkey insane is attractive (do not be like me pls)

Love his long hair

Also had a crush on Carl when he was in the show (he is a year older than me im not a creep)

I have not gotten to later seasons so maybe there are still cute people idk i need to re watch

I also hated Lori and Shane with a passion

I still do

I cannot imagine hooking up with my husbands friend of my friends husband or whateverbskkakslal

I will rant on and on about this it genuinely makes me mad

I do however love Maggie and Peggy(is this her name? The sister?) We love country girls

I am a Michonne simp through and through

I am a simple lady

Cool woman with sword? Count me in

Once Upon A Time

Though I hate Regina I find her so attractive its not even funny

When I was younger i had a huge crush on Peter Pan

Now rewatching I am a Captain Hook Simp

Also Mad Hatter

Also Ruby

Also Graham in season 1 if anyone remembers him

Gawd these men

Ruby number 1 IDC IDC

Also Mulan

PLEASE

I have also not gotten super far in this show

Marvel

I'm gonna just list my favorites bc like I already feel super exposed and im writing all of this in one go bc I am so excited to share but my phone is broken

So number one is Steve im so mad he went back to Peggy but at the same time he deserves happiness

Number two Bucky again im a basic girl and tragic men attract me idk

Peter loml so cute also the only spiderman movies ive seen dont kill me

Wanda love her still have not seen Multiverse of madness last thing i watched is wandavison

Loved pietro

Thor my bb

I cannot think of any more

Doctor Who

I guess this one is going to be different because I have only seen new who and I do not dislike any doctor at all so i guess imma just rank them

9th(watched his season twice once when I was younger and was just getting into the show and then once a couple years ago when I committed to watching the show)

11th

10th

12th

13th(I do not hate her I am just new to her bc I am still on her first season since i procrastinate to make the series last longer)

Then i guess I'll rank the companions bc again I dont really dislike anyone

Martha(best girl i love her so much)

Donna

Amy

Clara

Bill

Yasmine

River(literally going to name a kid River bc of how much i like the name)

Graham

Rose

Jack

Ryan

Nardole

Rory

Mickey

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

I have had a crush on this man since 2005

Since I was FOUR YEARS OLD

The first time i saw him I fell in love

No one will compare to my love

Hotch is a close second I do love my dom daddy(I am so sorry for saying this)

Penelope is also my love but in a platonic i would kill someone for her kind of way

Also Emily

White Lotus

Okay so lemme start by saying

Season 2 >season 1

The only people i like im season 1 are Tanya and Belinda

Everyone else are kind of dislikeable

Well the rich guys wife is fine but shes not my favorite

Season 2 however i like like half of the characters

Obviously Tanya is on the list bc she is so funny

But Ethan is my favorite especially later in the season bc again guys like that are my thing

Also Harper but mainly bc of Aubrey

Then Daphne is the loml and she deserves better

And Lucia my bb

And Valentina

And Albie even if he seems like a "nice guy"

Love these characters

WE HATE GREG IN THIS HOUSE

Ouran High School Host Club

Takashi Morinozuka has my entire heart love this man

Honey is just me but male

And Haruhi loml pls shes so cute but also she tries to be the best person I love her

Also Kasanoda(and in the manga the girl he ends up with is kinda cool)

This again should also just be a ranking bc i love all the characters but im gonna limit myself

Kuroshitsuji

Again imma give a basic bitch answer and say Sebastian

I know hes a demon

I know he would hate me bc duh

But pls sir

Give me one chance

Also the undertaker

Also Agni

Also snake and joker

Grelle would be my platonic soulmate shes so funny

I also would like to protect Ciel(not the twin like not the real ciel or whatever I mean our ciel)

Like I understand that he basically siccs his demon on people and had them killed

But at the same time in my eyes he is literally just a traumatized little boy and i feel so bad for him

I know hes fictional but if i could change what happened to him i would

Finny is baby

I have typed for too long pls

Also thank you for asking this<3 feel free to ask other things and request stuff!!

[rossmccallsqueen]

REQUEST GUIDELINES

(I don’t know what happened to my old post so here’s this)

Hello my loves! Make sure you read this before requesting plssss 💕

If my requests are open, it will say so in my bio. If they are closed, it will also say so! If my requests are closed, pls wait until they are open again to submit a request.

Please send requests through my ask box ONLY. This is the way for me to have an official record of them and they won’t get lost in my messages.

I write smut (I have smut queen in my bio for a reason lol). If I post something smut, you need to be 18+ to read it. I am not responsible for what you consume and will not be held liable.

If you are under 18, you are NOT allowed to request smut. If there is no age in your bio, then I am going to assume you are under 18 and will not write the request.

I have the right to not do any request that I receive. This hasn’t really happened before, but if I can’t get the writing flowing for the request then I will message you privately to see if there’s something we can work out instead.

I’ve had chronic wrist problems for 8 years. I had surgery 7/6/2022 and it should be fixed now. However, with that being said my wrist still does hurt sometimes. I’m also in grad school, so It will take me time to get to your request. Don’t worry, I do have it and I will write it I just have issues 😂

I primarily write reader insert fics. Those are my specialty and most of what I’m comfortable writing.

Anyways, with that being said, here’s who I currently write for and the fandom they are from:

Band of Brothers:

Eugene Roe

Joe Toye

Joeseph Liebgott

Charles Grant

Carwood Lipton

Ronald Speirs

Lewis Nixon

Donald Malarkey

Edward Shames

Edward “Babe” Heffron

Harry Welsh

Henry Jones

Denver “Bull” Randleman

Daryl C “Shifty” Powers

Floyd Talbert

John Martin

William “Bill” Guarnere

Frank Perconte

George Luz

Richard “Dick” Winters

Antonio C. Garcia

Harry F. Welsh

Edward J. Tipper Jr

Lester A. Hashey

The Pacific:

Charles “Chuck” Tatum

Eugene Sledge

John Basilone

Manuel “Manny” Rodriguez

Muriel “Snafu” Shelton

Robert Leckie

Romus “RV” Burgin

Sidney Phillips

Wilbur "Bud" "Runner" Conley

James Paul “JP” Jordan

Bill "Hoosier" Smith

Andrew "Ack Ack" Haldane

Undrafted:

Pat Murray

Arthur Barone

Fotch

Ty Delllamonica

Vinnie Malzhan

David Stein

John Garvey

Polacco

Dells

Zapata

Bohemian Rhapsody:

Joe Mazzello/John Deacon

Rami Malek

Gwilym Lee/Brian May

Ben Hardy/Roger Taylor

Lucy Boynton

Allen Leech

(For those with just actors names listed, I’m not comfortable writing for their characters. Unless it is Freddie platonically. I do not write for Mary for reasons. For ones with actors and characters I write for just their actor as well)

Queen (the band):

Roger Taylor

Freddie Mercury (only platonically)

Brian May

John Deacon

Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

Chrissy Cunningham

Robin Buckley

Nancy Wheeler

Argyle

Jonathan Byers

Jim Hopper

Joyce Byers

I do not write for any characters under the age of 18 in the show (even if their actor is 18+ if their character is not I do not write for them)

Marvel:

Steve/Captain America

Wanda/Scarlett Witch

Sam/Captain America

Bucky

Peter Parker/Spiderman (but only Andrew Garfield’s spiderman, as we see him graduate)

Moon Knight/Steven Grant/Mark/Jake

Doctor Strange/Stephen Strange

Loki

Thor

Natasha/Black Widow

Yelena

Kate Bishop

Shang-Chi

If you don’t see any marvel character listed that you’d like just message me and I’ll add them!

Thank you for taking the time to request something from me and thinking of me to write it! I am honored to do so. Happy reading my friends!

[whoisjennifercornet]

Update: Monica Edwards and the Freddie Lounds Youtube Channel

Jennifer Cornet. The FF7 House. An internet mystery we all know. In the second half of the 2010s a fandom investigator surfaced, claiming to link Jennifer Cornet with the fan community of the TV Series “Hannibal.” This was the dawn of the “Tattle-Crime Saga”, as reported by a Youtube channel titled “Freddie Lounds”. The channel was created by Monica Edwards, a woman in her mid-thirties at the time and a fan of the series. Aside from her above listed legal name she has also been known as Eve Rebecca Habat in some corners of the internet and possibly other aliases. 'Unprofessional' would be a kind way to describe Monica's narration of the case as she would constantly fly into rants which were barely relevant to the overarching story. However, her investigation work often appeared solid and credible. Then one day in early 2020, the Youtube channel she had worked so hard on vanished, erased from existence by Monica herself. My immediate suspicion was that she had terminated the page because inaccuracies and falsehoods of her claims had been brought to light. Was the Tattle-Crime Saga a hoax? Monica had mentioned that she was a writer working on a TV script (unrelated to the saga) and that a deal with a production company might be on the horizon. My immediate thought was that her Youtube channel had been an ARG (alternate reality game), a publicity stunt in designed to gain her internet fame and launch her writing career. Alas, it wasn't that simple.

Who Is Monica Edwards?

Monica had a long history of posting on forums and running blogs. The topics ranged from fandom, to lifestyle, to what she referred to as “political” blogs. From what I was able to find of her political blogs, they often consisted of her trolling people into a reaction, for example a post in which she cruelly mocked excerpts of other people's posts about their difficulties in high school, essentially stating, “No one had it harder than me, you're all a bunch of babies, quit crying about it,” etc. So if Monica has a paper-trail of being both an obsessive fan and an internet troll, how can she be taken seriously? With these questions piling up, I look to reddit seeking answers as to the validity of Monica's reports and why she had terminated her channel. The below conclusions were revealed to me by moderators of the r/tattlecrime subreddit. They have authorized me to publish these findings.

Why did Monica delete the channel?

According to my sources, the “Tattle-Crime Saga” was not a hoax. It has in fact been verified by multiple community members that Jennifer Cornet was the individual Monica Edwards encountered in the Hannibal fandom. Despite her lack of professionalism and explosive temper, Monica had pinned down Jennifer's real identity and exposed her. In short, the day Jennifer Cornet crossed paths with Monica Edwards would be akin to a ballistic missile colliding with a fire bomb. In regards to the channel's deletion, a coming-to-light of various false reports were involved as I had suspected. Monica was right about some things but not everything. As Jennifer went deeper underground Monica stretched further and further for updates on the case. Meanwhile, a rift was forming between Monic and the Tattle-Crime Reddit as well as the Discord server. It appeared that Monica disliked these communities existing outside her moderation. She was quick to hurl insults and accusations at anyone who questioned her methods and conclusions. In early 2020, Monica apparently posted multiple videos about a supposed re-surfacing of Jennifer involving a Tumblr account which she claimed Jennifer was behind. This allegation was quickly dispelled as a hoax by the broader community. Rather than owning up to her mistake, Monica went dark on all her blogs “For fear of her life” as she insisted her critics were stalking her. One month later in March, 2020 she briefly reappeared to delete the videos and subsequently the channel. It should be noted here that the deletion of videos on her channel was a gradual process. Even before the false Jennifer sighting debacle occurred, Monica had deleted the 20-part series on the Tattle-Crime Saga and replaced it with a single, more concise video.

Conclusions

So there you have it. Monica Edwards did expose Jennifer Cornet in the Hannibal fandom. That said, all details of the case otherwise reported by Monica should be taken with a grain of salt. In this writer's opinion, Monica Edwards can no longer be trusted as a source due to she has self-sabotaged her credibility. Finally, I will add that after an IMDB search, it appears that Monica's script has not been picked up by a production company.

[strangesigils]

BLM SIGIL STREAM ON SATURDAY

I’m doing a livestream on twitch tomorrow June 13th at 1:00 PM Saskatchewan Time (for those of you new here, SK CST is a bit different from normal from normal CST because we don’t do daylight savings ever)

This is not a normal stream, I’m not filling out normal sigil requests for this, I’m specifically making sigils for the Black Lives Matter movement, because I’m seeing a lot less about it on social media and I think that’s fucked up because this shit is still happening. It’s not a weeklong fad, it’s a movement and a revolution and we need to keep standing behind it however we can. I will be making sigils for justice. “Justice For ... “ George Floyd Ahmaud Arbery Trayvon Martin Eric Garner Walter Scott Ernest Mweru Aiyana Mo’nay Stanley-Jones Philando Castille Tamir Rice Sandra Bland Alton Sterling Michael Brown Atatiana Koquice Jefferson Akai Gurley Megan Marie Hockaday Stephon Clark Emantic Fitzgerald Bradford Jr. Amandou Diallo Freddy Carlos Gray Jr. Jordan Edwards Jonathan Ferrel Korryn Gaines Alton Sterling Jamar Clark Jeremy McDole Layleen Polanco Muhlasia Booker Bettie Jones Terence Crutcher Oscar Grant Walter Lamar Scott

 If anybody has more names for me to add to the ‘justice for’ sigils that are not already listed here for me to make, feel free to send me a name with a link about what happened through personal message. For each of these sigils I post I will also be posting a publicly available photo of them and a link to what happened to them. I won’t be able to complete all of these in the stream, but I’ll be working on them outside of streaming when I have the time as well

I will be promoting my fundraiser for black LGBTQI+ refugees in Kenya who have been regularly attacked while trying to rebuild their burnt down homes (which were burnt down while they were away protesting the abuse of Ernest Mweru by the UNHCR which led to his suicide outside their offices) Even though we raised the minimum of $500 they had to pay for medical costs for medicine for members with diabetes, food for the injured, sick, children, and elderly, and ambulance fees for the people who’ve been attacked during building (I think they have 4 or 5 people in the hospital right now, other slightly less injured people are staying in the camp) the graphic images they send me of the brutal injuries they’ve sustained has been keeping me up at night for weeks. They only had enough money left to build 1 home and they’re using it for the children. They’re not black lives in america, but they’re queer black lives in a country and a refugee camp that wants them exterminated, and they matter. Click Here To Go To The GoFundMe I have set up As well as all fiverr proceeds for name sigils and other recreational sigils will go to the same cause As well as any redbubble profits I make (which is only a few cents for purchased item, the rest goes to redbubble so I’m not really going to recommend it for donation purposes)

I’ll still be reblogging posts for BLM  and Bail funds as well

[drgeoduck]

Late to the party, but I've been watching Hannibal. First season was great. Second season had great moments, but also some real longeurs. Two episodes into the third season and wow it's boring.

Bedelia: Fearful question

Hannibal: Aphorism

Bedelia: Counter-aphorism

Hannibal: Vaguely threatening counter-counter-aphorism

Bedelia: (drinks wine)

Also: why would Hannibal steal the identity of someone who is clearly well-connected and known to people? And wouldn't he change his own face? In the novel, "Fell" is a completely fictional persona, and Hannibal altered his appearance considerably to hide in plain sight.

The first seasons were interesting enough to make you want to overlook the ridiculousnesses. The third season is dull, so I can't.

(Also, are they ever going to explain how Hannibal somehow sequestered Abigail for months? And how Freddie's death was faked?)

I'll add as postscript how amused i am that of the three major portrayals of Will Graham onscreen, Edward Norton's was somehow the *least* twitchy and odd.

[alicebldr]

The Six Kids AU - John Knox.

I watched Good omens and the movie Mary Queen of Scots, where David Tennant played Crowley in Good Omens and John Knox in MQoS ... And after watching a video about @arty-e Six Kids, I had a Brainstorm!

I tried to list in order, but in my head everything was mixed up:

1. John Knox is a big fan of Queen and Freddie Mercury.

2. Carries a flamethrower with which he fights against Mezza.

3. John is the leader, showraner, and vocalist for Reformation Wall (along with William Farel, John Calvin and Theodore Beza) .

4. Bentley drives and each time arriving to visit Six, Queen’s song “Don’t stop me now” is heard from the car.

5. Each time Mezza attacks Elizabeth, Anne Boleyn threatens to first invite Johnny N. (as he calls him) to visit.

6. He plays the guitar, piano and saxophone.

7. The funniest fact is that the original John died on the same day (November 24) as Freddie Mercury.

8. Freddie Mercury and Crowley - the basis of inspiration for John from AU.

9. In past, in my AU, John was bisexual, he treasured his friend, George Wishart, and was sad and angry after his death. It was his death that became one of reasons for his fierce resistance to Catholicism.

10. John was twice married and has 5 children (2 sons from his first marriage and 3 daughters from his second), with the second wife, Margaret Stewart, a relative of Mezza Scots.

11. John believed that his second wife was the reincarnation of George (she was born a year after his execution) and therefore he did not care that she was related to the Catholic Queen who hated him.

12. Mary I, like Catherine of Aragon and Jane Seymour, are afraid of John Knox and always try to prevent him from coming to "visit".

13. John despised women on the throne, but he spoke of Mary I, Mezza Scots, and her mother. Not of Elizabeth I.

15. John Theme Song: Queen - The Show Must Go On.

14. He respects and admires Anna Boleyn and Elizabeth I (but she still feels hostility and hatred towards him, even if he saved her several times from Mezza) and warmly, in a fashionable way, refers to James I Stewart, Jane Grey and Edward VI.

Also Queen songs:

* All Dead, All Dead - describes John's feelings after the death of his first wife, Margery Bowes.

* Rain Must Fall and Love of my life - his attitude towards George Wishart and his death.

* Seven Seas of Rhye and One Vision - in second and third place, after TSMGO, which describes John.

* White Queen - John's feelings for his second wife, Margaret Stewart.

Later I will add about relationships in the group when I study the "Wall" in detail.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 29 April 2019

Quick Bits:

Angel #0 spins out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer #4 (the ending events of which are presented again at the beginning here), giving us a flashback of Angel in Los Angeles and a case involving a werewolf. The tone here from Bryan Edward Hill, Gleb Melnikov, Gabriel Cassata, and Ed Dukeshire is bleaker than the Buffy series, but it’s fitting.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Barbarella/Dejah Thoris #3 is a whole lot of flirting. Gorgeous artwork from  Germán García and Addison Duke with some impressive lettering from Crank!

| Published by Dynamite

Batman #70 wakes up from its “Knightmares” for the first part of “The Fall and the Fallen” by Tom King, Mikel Janín, Jorge Fornés, Jordie Bellaire, and Clayton Cowles. It throws down a gauntlet of Bats’ rogues as he fights to escape Arkham Asylum.

| Published by DC Comics

Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III #1 is the first of these series that I’ve picked up, so I didn’t initially clue in that this wasn’t necessarily how this crossover had played out previously, but this first issue features a world of the two properties mashed-up in a combined reality. It’s an interesting start from James Tynion IV, Freddie E. Williams II, Kevin Eastman, Jeremy Colwell, and Tom Napolitano with some gorgeous artwork.

| Published by DC Comics & IDW

Black Hammer ‘45 #3 features a guest-spot for a young Abraham Slam, who seems to rub the Black Hammer Squadron the wrong way through trying to follow through with ideals and principles. It’s an interesting underlining of whatever potentially grey area operation the squad is on, as Jeff Lemire, Ray Fawkes, Matt Kindt, Sharlene Kindt, and Marie Enger continue to let that plot point simmer.

| Published by Dark Horse

Champions #5 is a tie-in to War of the Realms and also serves as a bit of glue to hold together different parts of the event, building upon things across different areas of the Marvel universe. It also gives us a very heartfelt reunion of Ms. Marvel and Cyclops, wonderfully told by Jim Zub, Juanan Ramírez, Marcio Menyz, and Clayton Cowles.

| Published by Marvel

DC’s Year of the Villain Special #1 gives a trio of teasers, two largely for the two sides of the Justice League/Legion of Doom stuff that has been going on, providing a backbone for the Year of the Villain event, and the third for Brian Michael Bendis’ brainchild of Event Leviathan, which unfortunately feels kind of out of place with the rest of it. As though the two separate stories are competing for resources, rather than being part of a cohesive whole. That said, all of the teasers do their job fairly well, piquing interest in what’s to come.

| Published by DC Comics

DCeased #1 is basically DC’s answer to Marvel Zombies by way of Stephen King’s Cell, but it’s damn entertaining work from Tom Taylor, Trevor Hairsine, James Harren, Stefano Gaudiano, Rain Beredo, and Saida Temofonte. The set-up for the series with Darkseid meddling with the Anti-Life Equation and winding up with something worse is perfect.

| Published by DC Comics

Deathstroke #43 is kind of the conclusion to “The Terminus Agenda”, on paper at least. There’s still an epilogue over in the next issue of Teen Titans and the final page of this one sets up something huge going forward.

| Published by DC Comics

Descendent #1 begins another new conspiracy thriller, building off a child abduction and a “truther”, from Stephanie Phillips, Evgeniy Bornyakov, Lauren Affe, and Troy Peteri. It’s a bit of a slow build, working to develop the characters nicely, but there’s an intriguing mystery here.

| Published by AfterShock

Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor #7 continues the hunt for the Stilean Flesh Eaters as the Doctor and the team cross paths with some familiar faces. Gorgeous layouts and art here from Roberta Ingranata, Enrica Eren Angiolini, and Viviana Spinelli.

| Published by Titan

Eclipse #15 reaches a boiling point in this penultimate issue. Zack Kaplan, Giovanni Timpano, Flavio Dispenza, and Troy Peteri have at least partially turned this arc upside down, causing us to have some serious questions about the morality of either side in the conflict. It adds a great depth to the characters’ actions and makes me unsure as to what exactly I’d like to see in the finale.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Elephantmen 2261: The Pentalion Job #1 begins a new digital original mini-series from Richard Starkings and Axel Medellin. Burba sees himself released from prison early, only to be set up to do a new enormous heist. Starkings builds this one greatly out of what’s come before in the series and the art from Medellin is gorgeous.

| Published by Comicraft

Fallen World #1 is a very welcome return to the future of the Valiant universe, spinning out of the changes made to the world in 4001 AD and War Mother, with Dan Abnett, Adam Pollina, Ulises Arreola, and Jeff Powell weaving gold out of the fallen threads of the fallen New Japan. You needn’t have read anything prior to this, Abnett does a wonderful job filling in necessary details of the world and the characters. The art from Pollina is probably the best I have ever seen from him, there’s detail, grace, and expressiveness that has leapt so far beyond even the beautiful work he’s done before. He and Arreola make this a damn impressive book to look at. Highly recommended.

| Published by Valiant

Giant Days #50 features a cricket match, including an explanation of the game that makes more sense than I’ve ever seen it explained before. John Allison, Max Sarin, Whitney Cogar, and Jim Campbell deliver another hilarious issue, with one hell of a final page.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box

The Girl in the Bay #4 is the end to this mini from JM DeMatteis, Corin Howell, James Devlin, and Clem Robins. It answers what happened in order to create two Kathy Santoris, and her murderer’s deal, but it maintains the weirdness set from the beginning.

| Published by Dark Horse / Berger Books

Gogor #1 is an entertaining start to this fantasy series from Ken Garing. The set up for the Domus taking over is interesting, as is the introduction of the seemingly Hulk-like saviour in the titular character. Gorgeous artwork throughout.

| Published by Image

Green Lantern #7 is a standout issue in an already astounding run, as Hal Jordan and a friend he finds in Pengowirr try to escape from Hal’s dying power ring. Great twists and turns throughout from Grant Morrison, Liam Sharp, and Tom Orzechowski. The layouts for many of the pages, playing with the shape of the Green Lantern symbol are very impressive.

| Published by DC Comics

Harley Quinn #61 is the first of this series I’ve picked up, due to Otto Schmidt taking over regular art duties, and I quite like this. This is the first part of “Role Players” from Sam Humphries, Schmidt, and Dave Sharpe, porting Quinn off to an alternate realm steeped in Dungeons & Dragons fantasy tropes. It’s pretty entertaining, with great art from Schmidt.

| Published by DC Comics

Hashtag: Danger #1 is another entertaining addition to the second wave of Ahoy’s comics, with Tom Peyer and Chris Giarrusso’s humorous take on the Challengers of the Unknown formula graduated from back-up to series. It’s rounded out with the usual back-up strip, text piece, and prose.

| Published by Ahoy

Justice League #23 has one hell of a gut punch for an ending (granted, it’s a little undercut by the DC’s Year of the Villain Special, but how could we expect something like that to remain anyway?). Absolutely stunning artwork from Jorge Jimenez and Alejandro Sánchez who only seem to outdo themselves with each subsequent issue.

| Published by DC Comics

Marvel Team-Up #2 continues the team-up between Ms. Marvel and Spider-Man in this Freaky Friday take from Eve L. Ewing, Joey Vasquez, Felipe Sobreiro, and Clayton Cowles. Interesting exploration of Peter and Kamala as they navigate aspects of each other’s lives.

| Published by Marvel

Meet the Skrulls #4 unveils what was a the heart of Project Blossom as fractures continue to develop between the Warner family. Great twists and turns from Robbie Thompson, Niko Henrichon, Laurent Grossat, and Travis Lanham as the series winds up for its conclusion.

| Published by Marvel

Nobody is in Control #1 features some very dense storytelling from Patrick Kindlon, Paul Tucker, and Wallace Ryan in this debut issue that goes down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories and seemingly random information. It reminds me a bit of the structure of Steve Seagle and Kelley Jones’ Crusades from Vertigo ages ago, but with a more likeable protagonist and a decidedly different narrative.  

| Published by Black Mask

The Punisher #11 is the explosive conclusion to “War in Bagalia” from Matthew Rosenberg, Szymon Kudranski, Antonio Fabela, and Cory Petit. When I say “conclusion”, though, I only mean it’s the end of the arc, it doesn’t really conclude anything with Jigsaw or Zemo. Great art from Kudranski and Fabela.

| Published by Marvel

Red Sonja #4 delves a bit more into Sonja’s past and training, seeding something interesting, while the first assault after being resupplied takes place. Mark Russell, Mirko Colak, Bob Q, Dearbhla Kelly, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou are continuing to tell an engrossing, thought-provoking story with this series.

| Published by Dynamite

Savage Avengers #1 is a good debut from Gerry Duggan, Mike Deodato Jr., Frank Martin, and Travis Lanham. It spins out of Avengers: No Road Home, but only inasmuch as depositing Conan in the Savage Land. We’re getting a bit of a gathering of the team here as an ancient cult tries to summon a bloodthirsty deity from a planet past Pluto.

| Published by Marvel

The Six Million Dollar Man #3 is another hilarious issue from Christopher Hastings, David Hahn, Roshan Kurichiyanil, and Ariana Maher. The comedy of errors increases as Steve tries to recharge himself through acting as a lightning rod. Just wonderful stuff.

| Published by Dynamite

Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #8 sees Seanan McGuire continue to absolutely nail the character development and interpersonal interactions between the characters in a compelling and intriguing way that hooks you well on their drama, even amidst all of the action, mystery, and excitement. Also, the art from Takeshi Miyazawa and Ian Herring remains incredible.

| Published by Marvel

Star Wars: Age of Rebellion - Han Solo #1 gives us a sweet smuggling run set between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back as Han and Chewie are still carving out what their place happens to be in this world, from Greg Pak, Chris Sprouse, Karl Story, Tamra Bonvillain, and Travis Lanham.

| Published by Marvel

Transformers #4 maintains the slowburn for this story arc, delivering a bit more information, a Cyclonus that might be insane, and Brainstorm’s funeral. Also, I’d swear that the story is hinting that the newly forged Transformer is the murderer, but that may just be me putting together dots that don’t actually align. It’s really nice to see art here from Sara Pitre-Durocher and Andrew Griffith as they join Angel Hernandez this issue.

| Published by IDW

Volition #5 throws a boatload of betrayals and twists at us as Amber and Hale continue to try to track down their creator...and her dog. Ryan Parrott, Marco Itri, Leonardo Paciarotti, and Marshall Dillon are very nicely raising the tension levels in this issue.

| Published by AfterShock

The War of the Realms #3 sees Jason Aaron, Russell Dauterman, Matthew Wilson, and Joe Sabino continue to juggle the massive amount of characters and threads going into this event (even if some of the tie-in mini-series don’t seem to line up with the main event book itself). Gorgeous art from Dauterman and Wilson.

| Published by Marvel

The War of the Realms: Strikeforce - The Dark Elf Realm #1 is a one shot from Bryan Hill, Leinil Francis Yu, Gerry Alanguilan, Matt Hollingsworth, and Joe Sabino further exploring the team of Freyja, the Punisher, She-Hulk, Blade, and Ghost Rider before they ride off to Svartalfheim in War of the Realms #3. Some interesting character explorations and the nightmare of thousands of fluffy kittens.

| Published by Marvel

Young Justice #5 is huge, potentially exponentially huge, as it seems to pull at the fraying threads of the New 52 and Rebirth to hearken back to the pre-Flashpoint DCU. Brian Michael Bendis, John Timms, Kris Anka, Doc Shaner, Gabe Eltaeb, and Wes Abbott may be playing with fire but it’s a very welcome warmth. Bring marshmallows.

| Published by DC Comics / Wonder Comics

Other Highlights: Amazing Spider-Man #20.HU, Battlestar Galactica: Twilight Command #2, Beasts of Burden: The Presence of Others #1, Black AF: Devil’s Dye #3, Devil Within #4, The Dreaming #9, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark #5, Female Furies #4, From Hell: Master Edition #5, Goosebumps: Horrors of the Witch House #1, Grumble #6, Hillbilly: Red-Eyed Witchery From Beyond #4, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #9, Marvel Action: Avengers #4, Marvel Action: Spider-Man #3, Outcast #41, Paper Girls #28, Self/Made #6, Star Wars #65, Star Wars Adventures: Flight of the Falcon, TMNT: Urban Legends #12, Under the Moon: A Catwoman Tale

Recommended Collections: Aliens: Dust to Dust, Amazing Spider-Man - Volume 3, Art of War of the Realms, Bloodborne - Volume 2: Healing Thirst, Bone Parish - Volume 1, Doctor Strange - Volume 2: Remittance, GI Joe: A Real American Hero - Silent Option, House Amok - Volume 1, Killmonger, Man Without Fear, Midas, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - Volume 8, Olivia Twist: Honor Among Thieves, Princeless - Volume 7: Find Yourself, The Quantum Age, The Silencer - Volume 2: Helliday Road, Star Trek: The Next Generation - Terra Incognita, Stranger Things - Volume 1: The Other Side, Takio, TMNT - Volume 21: Battle Lines, Wonder Woman & Justice League Dark: Witching Hour, The Wrong Earth - Volume 1

d. emerson eddy would like to remind you that it’s Free Comic Book Day. Get out there and free some comics from the shackles of oppression. May the fourth be with you.

[katymacsupernatural]

Eggnog and Tinsel

Dean Winchester x Reader

700 Words

Story Summary: Talking Dean into decorating the tree with you.

This is written for Katy’s Christmas Drabbles. Requested by @nevaeh-potter15. Picked Decorating the Christmas Tree, and the sentence : “Let’s listen to Christmas Albums and get drunk off of eggnog. With Dean. 

“That’s the last box.” You huffed as you placed it on the library table, turning to see Dean just sitting there, his legs propped on the other side of the table.

“And what’s in these boxes?” He asked, reaching forward and pulling one towards him.

“My family’s Christmas ornaments. After everything with my family happened, I was able to save a couple of items, and these were one of the things I kept in a storage facility until we found this place.” You started explaining, pulling out the Christmas Star that went on the top of the tree. It had been your grandmother’s and then your parents, and this would be the first year it would go on your very own tree.

“Y/N, are you sure you want to put up a tree? I mean, who says we’ll even be around for Christmas?” Dean started arguing, exactly as you figured he would.

“Dean, we’re doing this. Not just for me, but for you and Sam. We need some sense of normalcy in our lives. Even if it’s just a decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the library.” You insisted, and he rolled his eyes, but you knew he would comply. “And you’re helping me decorate it.”

“Aren’t you putting the cart before the horse?” He teased, pulling out a shiny icicle. “Shouldn’t we have gotten the tree?”

“Already taken care of.” You answered, just as the sound of wings rustling sounded behind you. “And here it is.”

Turning, you smiled to Cas, pointing to the stand already waiting for him. Dean stood up, helping the Angel place the tree correctly in it’s place. “That’s all?” Cas asked, and you nodded.

“Thanks Cas. And remember, you’re more than welcome for Christmas dinner.” You offered the Angel before he vanished out of the room.

“Well, let’s do this!” Dean exclaimed, slapping his hands together. “And then later we can listen to Christmas Albums and get drunk off eggnog!”

“Really?” You questioned, surprised at his change of heart.

“Not really.” He mumbled. “Don’t really care about the Christmas music, but we can start with the eggnog now. With lots of nog.”

“Deal.” You agreed, knowing it would take little steps to get him in the holiday mood. Letting him go to make the eggnog, you began wrapping Christmas lights around the tree. Humming to yourself, a pair of arms wrapped around you, whiskey tainted breath whispering next to your ear.

“Y/N, I know this is important to you. And I’m willing to decorate however you want if it makes you happy. Even listen to blasted Christmas music if you want.” Dean whispered, peppering kisses to your neck. Turning in his arms, you saw a big pitcher of eggnog on the table, a plate of your cookies beside it.

“I want a decorated tree.” You answered. “But otherwise, as long as I’m spending time with you I’m good.”

“Let’s decorate this tree then!” He exclaimed, reaching into the box and pulling out an ornament.

Smiling, you began placing ornaments on the tree, brushing up against Dean as you leaned to place an ornament on the top of the tree. Dean made sure to touch you at every opportunity. Steadying you when you stood on your tiptoes, his hand resting on your hip as the two of you searched for an empty spot.

When it was time to place the star on the tree, you let Dean do the honors, a tear slipping down your cheek as you saw your family’s ornaments displayed for the first time in years. “What’s wrong? Is it crooked?” Dean asked as he saw the tear on your cheek.

“Just a little melancholic.” You whispered. “There’s a lot of memories tied to these ornaments.”

Pulling you tight to his chest, he pressed a kiss to your temple. “Why don’t we go shopping today? Pick out an ornament, just for us? Create a new memory to add?”

“Sounds wonderful.” You answered, before he reached behind him, pouring you a glass of eggnog.

“But first, something to lift the spirits.” He announced, handing you a crystal glass. “And to our new holiday tradition. Getting smashed on eggnog while decorating the tree.”

Dean/Jensen Tags: @acreativelydifferentlove @a-girl-who-loves-disney @akshi8278 @anokhi07 @aubreystilinski @bebravekeeponfighting @colette2537 @deanwinchesters-impala67 @ikeneasul11 @its-not-a-tulpa @mysteriously-lost @lenaabs @love-charmer-sketch @ruprecht0420 @sizzlingbearpolice @sleep-silent-angel @sortaathief @superseejay721517 @thesaneone @queen--glitch

Forever Tags(Closed): @16wiishes @amanda-teaches @andreaaalove @angelsandwinchesters @anxuanpham @artisticpoet @atc74 @babydanixox @bambinovak @bea789 @be-amaziing @beltz2016 @benjerry707 @bish-its-me @bohowitch @boxywrites @bradygabrielle-blog @brooke-supernatural16 

 @brunettechick @buffytheangelslayer @camelotandastronauts @cantsleepian @cascar24 @castielhasthetardis @captainaudreystark @captainemwinchester @captainradicalpassion @chelsea072498 @clairese1980 @createdbybadappreciation  @criesateverything @crystal923  @darthdeziewok 

@delessapeace-blog @destiel-addict-forever @disneychic8 @dixonsvixon2017 @docharleythegeekqueen @dontslurp @dslocum89 @duckieburns @easelweasel  @edward-lover18 @emmazach @emoryhemsworth @emmysthougts @ericaprice2008 @evyiione @essie1876 @extreme-supernatural-lover @faegal04  @freddy-fuckboy-tammy 

@gabriels-trix @generalgoldfishldrm @ginamsmith @gloria1097  @goldenolaf25 @growningupgeek @haleyhay96 @hetsgrinch @hollandisstilinski @hunterpuff @iliketowrite02 @imboredsueme @impatient-witch @inlovewithbja @iriyelle  @ithinkimadorable-67 @iwriteaboutdean 

@jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @jayankles @jenna-luke @jensen-gal @juatanotherbandgirl @just-another-busy-fangirl @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @katelynbkool @keelzy2 @likesiriusly @linki-locks11 @li-ssu @littleblue5mcdork @livingasafangirl @loricwizardbluetoastedcake @love-untiltheresnoloveleft @lowlyapprentice  @mariahoedt 

@marvelandwinchesters927 @maui137 @mellowlandrunaway @mogaruke @moosesamdeancasbees @mrsbatesmotel53 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @mrswhozeewhatsis @myplaceofthingsilove @my-squirrel-and-moose @nanie5 @naviwhite  @nerdybookwormsinger @ohgodjensen @oneshoeshort 

@padackles2010 @pancake-pages @percussiongirl2017 @pilaxia @pizzarollpatrol @plaid-lover-bay25 @jayankles @procratsinator @quiverhope @randomthings077 @ria132love @riversong-sam @rosegoldquintis @roxyspearing @sai-kida134 @samisimportant @sammysgirl1997 @sandlee44

 @sanity-is-overratedxp @saoirsewhittle @sgarrett49 @sgtbxckybxrnes @shamelesslydean @simplycheyenneautumn @spnbaby67 @spnbaby-67  @spn-dscc @starstruck-sugg @summer-binging-spn @superbadassnatural @supernatural-jackles   @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels @tatortot2701 

@thebikiniinspector @the--blackdahlia @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @thoughtsoftheantagonist  @tokentransboy @trashforwinchesters @tunadean @upon-a-girl  @vvinch3st3r @walkslikesummeractslikerain @waywardmoeyy @winchester-writes @wonderange @zombiewerewolfqueen

[sleepyskunk]

Deconstructing the 2017 Movie Trailer Mashup

Why deconstructing a mashup? Because these videos are often perceived as a random mess of pretty images from movie trailers. While that’s absolutely true, there’s an opportunity to explore themes and also pay a few obscure tributes to elements that don’t belong in the video itself but that are generally widespread within pop culture. These montages have been going on for a few years now, and it’s hard to edit the footage in a way that won’t feel reminiscent of one of the many great retrospectives put out by other talented editors in years past. I have to say that trying to build a narrative with all that footage has now become more enticing to me than to highlight the moments that made the year in cinema within their proper context. Let’s get right into it, shall we?

Someone on Reddit commented: “starting off with GEOSTORM, that’s a bold move!” and it didn’t even cross my mind. The shot was exactly where I wanted to go right off the bat - a blend of childlike wonder and eerie caution reminiscent of earlier Tim Burton films. The track was composed for a television spot called “A Wonderful Day” from IT and it showcases major Danny Elfman influences. Thus, this was my small tribute to the Burton/Elfman collabs happening under snowfalls like EDWARD SCISSORHANDS or BATMAN RETURNS. I loved the contrast in dialogue from PERSONAL SHOPPER which was such an under-appreciated indie film this year. Every mashup has its horror section, but I am gently sneaking you in by the supernatural door this time around. It’s just innocent enough to deceive those who hate horror.

Childlike wonder flawlessly captured in one shot, from the lens of Matt Reeves. I can’t say I connect emotionally with his APES movies, but the quality control on every frame, CGI or otherwise, it pretty much above and beyond all industry standards. That facial expression is exactly what I needed, you can tell she’s not too sure whether she’s safe or not but without feeling properly scared either. This is like the part in the original POLTERGEIST where kitchen chairs are moving on their own and the family still thinks it’s kind of fun. Kind of.

KING ARTHUR is the best type of release when it comes to trailer mashups because 1) it had a fantasy undertone 2) it was tracking poorly and 3) it went way over budget. Big studios know months in advance if they have a major bomb on their hands, and they have two choices at that point: either stop spending a penny on it and dump it for a quick theatre run and VOD release (more common if the movie didn’t cost that much) or, like in this case, spend extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad. Those extra millions go towards CGI money shots like the one above, which is really meant to make the marketing more attractive and oh dear lord, did KING ARTHUR have some last minute money shots to offer or what? It was a joy to pick and choose from its nine trailers.

This is where I put my cards on the table, whimsy never happened and I am taking you all to creepytown. That shot from ANNABELLE: CREATION is one of the many that upstages the featured evil doll in that wonderful movie and the film’s cinematographer Maxime Alexandre reached out because he was happy so much of his work was featured. You never know in front of who your videos can end up and industry people are keen on celebrating the year in film, especially if their own works are included. This is just a top notch unsettling shot clearly inspired by THE SHINING (the girl’s dress and the way her arms look lifeless.) On a side note, I always manually add all sounds including that floor cracking. If anyone reading this is starting off editing mashups, I promise you one thing: using professional, isolated, studio-recorded sound effect packages such as BOOM library is much superior to the original trailer track (unless you get a clean sound within the trailer.)

Another random insight (if you’re interested in making your own movie mashups) is to try as much as possible to avoid that one marketing shot everyone recognizes. You can revisit a memorable moment but going straight to the most oversold shot of a film hurts you. While you’re eager to make everyone relive the most epic imagery of the year, some value gets lost when a studio bombarded the same shot over and over and you go for it. Two quick examples: Giant hologram JOI pointing at Ryan Gosling in BLADE RUNNER 2049. I wanted that moment, but the original side-scroller shot was so overused that I went with her from a closer angle (see video thumbnail). Another example is that uncomfortable sniffle from Daniel Kaluuya in GET OUT which I favored over the super overplayed mouth open crying paralyzed shot from every marketing piece. In both cases, I assume you know which shots I am referring to without having to show them. Trying the alternative makes us relive the moment without its obviousness. It gives that other shot they didn’t choose its moment to shine (and more often than not, it’s just as effective.)

Someone’s not getting much sleep. A CURE FOR WELLNESS is a gorgeous-looking film no matter what you think of its bizarre plot points. I spend much of the first segment flirting with the creative key points from IT. One I tried to play around with is the idea of Pennywise as a half-real/half-fiction monster, and how similar to Wes Craven’s A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET his realm of terror extends. A few winning concepts in both films: 1) He isn’t real but he can really hurt you so you have to stay on your guard at all times and 2) Only a select few have been cursed with having to deal with him, adding a psychological layer to an already spooky premise. Dane Dehaan looks like a kid from Derry, or Elm street if you prefer, whose mental focus seems affected by the fact that he saw something, and his friend saw him too. Meanwhile, I throw in a completely out of context quote from Vanessa Redgrave which ties in that mysterious “sickness” from Verbinski’s film.

A shot from PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN from a trailer edited by Kees van Dijkhuizen Jr. for Annapurna Pictures where he works as an in-house editor now. In 2015, I talked about Gen Ip’s storytelling approach and last year I praised Matt Shapiro’s famously epic crescendos, so this year, let’s talk about Kees a little bit because I find all their influences fascinating. My first observation is how far his much-adored Cinema series has taken him, and that one of the top production houses in the business (if not the top, sorry A24 and Fox Searchlight) hired him so he could bring his own distinct style onto their major features. The whole trailer mashup craze started off only a few years back and so many editors were recruited right off YouTube to turn their passion into a livelihood down in Los Angeles. I can think of at least six editors whose names you’d recognize and who are now living the dream, and I consider this to be really inspiring because none of them initially got into it thinking something like that was ever possible. (side note: I also moved to L.A. and was poached by a trailer house but prefer to keep things on the low-end until it’s been long enough. I wouldn’t want to jinx it.)

The second observation about Kees is how much influence he’s had on every mashup that gets uploaded on a daily basis every December (me included) - I will link his Cinema series below. Instead of pairing clips into a horror bit, an action bit, a laughing and dancing bit, a kissing and crying bit, Kees was always out to create new feelings and nothing ever seemed more important than proper flow. Many shots would pop-up that you would never expect thematically, images of moving objects like a breaking glass transitioned with a girl’s hair waving through the wind (also see the lie detector in the previous shot.) He would connect nature documentaries right along with major superhero blockbusters and the movements flowed so perfectly that nothing ever felt out of place, quite the contrary. He was the best shot curator we’ve ever seen, and the order in which he put them together was beyond logic and predictability. Imagine “One Perfect Shot” but with 275 perfect shots back-to-back. If you want a prime example of what I’m referring to (random objects and flow), check out 2:49 - 2:52 from his Cinema 2011 (links below). Kees set the bar so high that attempting an end-of-year mashup certainly felt foolish at times, but hoping to improve made the editing process all the more inspiring.

CINEMA 2008 | CINEMA 2009 | CINEMA 2010 | CINEMA 2011 | CINEMA 2012 

So apparently, they have the internet and flat-screen TV’s in RINGS but landline phones are still a thing. Quite frankly, I haven’t seen RINGS and I bet it’s aggressively ordinary, but how retro horror is that shot? Paired up with the voice of THE SNOWMAN saying “Mister Policeman” it’s a throwback to Nancy being terrorized by Freddy in the original Nightmare of Elm Street (minus the tongue.) I was also pleased with the aesthetic of HAPPY DEATH DAY, clearly the product of horror fans who grew up during the low-budget slasher craze of the early ‘80s. It’s got MY BLOODY VALENTINE written all over it (meanwhile their poster was paying homage to APRIL FOOL’S DAY.) Retro horror, in all its disturbing practical gore glory! Rick Baker, Tom Savini, how much we missed you in our modern times where only a few major productions have enough VFX money to escape the uncanny valley (and even then... *cough* JUSTICE LEAGUE.)

I always tend to edit right on tempo, which means switching shots at the exact moment the music beat tells you to. But over here, I thought this elevator drop from FLATLINERS looked so frenetic and out of control that I started it half a second before as if the beat couldn’t keep up! Like in cartoons when the car accelerates so fast that it takes off but their eyeballs are standing still for a little fraction. This whole mashup sequence is meant to be a little cartoony and tongue-in-cheek. To anyone who found this to be disturbing (and yes, I heard from a few viewers who said it was too much) I must admit that it wasn’t my intention. I won’t apologize for my work, people choose to watch if they want to or not. But if I really tried my best to scare the crap out of you, I can assure you THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE wouldn’t have made the cut.

Now channeling a CHILD’S PLAY vibe thanks to this retro television shot from the highly underrated BRIGSBY BEAR. A kids program works well as an element of fear because it’s supposed to be a safely protected zone of positivity and care, just like a doll or a clown for that matter. Once that turns on its head and begins to attack, you basically have nowhere else to hide. It also makes for great contrast, and Andy Muschietti must have had an absolute blast this year incorporating this component into his remake of IT. The bear costume was one of the many shots that wasn’t from a horror movie and yet I used to great effect in this section. I know there was a new CHILD’S PLAY movie this year but sadly, it didn’t hold a candle to the Hitchcockian original.

“At the end of the day, people are out for themselves.” That’s not true, and only people who are out for themselves could believe that. Because if you’re weighing low on the morality scale at some point in life, you still wanna go to bed thinking you’re a good person. So if you can’t justify what you did, the best logical next step is to convince yourself that human nature is to blame, that everyone else would have done the same as you. Ask people who were charged with insider trading on the stock market, they’ll always say “everybody was doing it.” I could refer to a certain World War to keep hammering that point but instead, I’d like to point out the interesting contrast between this and Part 3. I try to disprove that very statement by showing in the finale that everything we do that matters is for others, and others are the only thing that matters once everything else has come and gone.

The KING ARTHUR studio spending extra millions of dollars to sell the shit out of that movie on opening week-end before everyone realizes it’s bad money shot festival continues. EPIC! In fact, that shot is so gorgeous, you could place it anywhere in any mashup ever and it would probably work.

Having a bit of fun giving a more literal visual cue to IT’s “We all float down here” with Guillermo Del Toro’s hypnotically beautiful THE SHAPE OF WATER. However, it’s not the tudum tssshh, get it? movie connection that works here. It’s the underwater sound effect and the incredible sound mixing by trailer house Buddha Jones so that Georgie’s voice seems to come from the bottom of the ocean. This is likely the best sound work you’ll hear in the entire mashup, and I didn’t mix it, the editors behind that teaser trailer did. In fact, their work was so effective at scaring people that it earned twice the amount of views on YouTube than what Avengers: Infinity War received. A fact Kevin Feige will likely never admit.

That moment when you realize your manic pixie dream girl wears white socks! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I've used vulgarity in the past but not every year, depends whether it brings value. Some of you may remember “Game on, c***suckers” from KICK-ASS 2 in 2013 or “Nap time, motherf***ers” from COOTIES in 2015. Perhaps there’s another guilty pleasure at play here, however, which is that feeling of pure creative freedom. As mentioned earlier, not everyone digged the horror undertone of this year’s Part 1 and that’s okay because it went exactly where I wanted to go and no compromise was made. No client notes. No studio revisions. No censor beeper (which makes it worse because we seek to find out what the word was.) If you get into professional careers that are creative in nature, you’ll find that teamwork, compromise, and not taking anything personally are all essential components for success. But when the movie trailer mashup comes around, I report to no one. And that moment from THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING MISSOURI is one I wanted included as soon as the red band trailer came out.

This shot comes from a small movie you should seek out called MY NAME IS EMILY starring Evanna Lynch (aka Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movies.) The film was directed by Simon Fitzmaurice who was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease (ALS) a few years ago, the debilitating disease for which the viral ice-bucket challenge was based on. He wrote the screenplay for this movie while his body was entirely paralyzed, and the only way he could communicate with the cast and crew while shooting the film was through eye gaze technology. There was a documentary following his brave journey that played Sundance called IT’S NOT YET DARK. Check it out if you need some real work ethic motivation and want to feel truly inspired about overcoming challenges. Much better than THE DISASTER ARTIST which is a spoof about a millionaire with no talent who mistreated the people who worked on his film. Okay, it’s still very entertaining and James Franco is hilarious but I don’t get a ‘never give up’ vibe from it, more like ‘maybe this isn’t for you.’

With the second segment, I was going for a British Gangster film vibe, hence the music cue Main Offender by The Hives. No movie captured that feeling better than Ben Wheatley’s FREE FIRE this year. I find the criminals in British movies are equally as clever in their quips as they are dangerous and often have the appearance of fair, well-behaved citizens until they have a reason to go mad. Jon Hamm’s performance in BABY DRIVER was also a textbook definition of that archetype, because all the build-up scenes where he acts friendly and discusses music with the titular character only bring an element of surprise at the end of his arc (spoilers: he’s not that nice in the end) I am aware that BABY DRIVER takes place in America but it’s directed by a Brit so it counts!

If Kubrick only knew his famous jump cut from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY that connects a flying bone to a space shuttle would lead to this fifty years later. What a shit show jump cuts have become! But they’re fun, and let’s be honest here: 7 minutes of serious quotes about life would get a little heavy. The way you edit jump cuts is the same way to solve a puzzle with over a thousand pieces. Extract dozens of short action clips onto your timeline and try to make them fit with one another over and over until you’re entertained. I mean, the music stays the same in the background, all I am doing here is deciding which projectile this pair of underpants from CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS will become. The answer was a tranquilizer from the underground mall chase sequence in Bong Joon-ho’s excellent OKJA. Maybe we should try one really long domino of jump cuts one day. Should take forever to edit, but how much fun would it be?

Did you know that Academy Award winner Alicia Vikander was a professional ballet dancer before she started acting? Work ethic applies in everything you do. When you hear about successful actors, you often discover people who are world-class at delivering under pressure and dedicating themselves to their craft with an insane amount of work. Acting is hard and yet so many people think they can do it, which makes it even harder. At least ballet puts constraints right off the bat, you need flexibility and a specific body frame. Part 3 is about finding your passion AND putting in the work. Just finding your passion is hard! It’s not always the bottomless pit one could hope for, especially when it becomes a real job with hours upon hours of work. Many people don’t even know what their passion is, they know what they’re good at but don’t love it. “Without your passion, it’s very hard to find our place in the world.” I don’t think you need your income to come from your passion in order to find said place, but I wish everyone that many of the limited hours they have each day goes towards their passion, and not towards something that feels like a waste of time. Wanting to wake up has everything to do with what happens after your first cup of coffee. Put your time towards something meaningful to you, even if it’s only on evenings and week-ends and you’ll never make a penny from it. If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter. If you love to travel, just GO!

But what happens when your family conflicts with your passion? Would you leave them behind to pursue your dreams? We all remember the tragic scene from DEAD POETS SOCIETY where a young scholar gets forced by his father to become a doctor instead of his passion and commits suicide. And then we have this year’s COCO, Pixar’s big comeback, where music is prohibited in Miguel’s family but it’s all he dreams about. But that conundrum doesn’t even have to be confrontational in nature. What if you wanted to work in a low-paying field like online journalism because it’s what you love but your single parent (who always took care of you) became sick and needed you to take care of their treatment. What happens then? What comes first? I humbly try to answer that later in the segment, of course.

We always told you Daniel Radcliffe... you’re special. That’s why you have a scar on your forehead that looks like a bolt... Just kidding, poor guy. I look at Mark Hamill in THE LAST JEDI and keep thinking that if studios are still a private enterprise in 40 years, some new Harry Potter movie will come out in which an old bearded Radcliffe will be teaching at Hogwarts. (PS: he keeps making bold choices, so much so that I am willing to watch anything he’s in.)

A man’s reach... (or woman, btw) should exceed his/her grasp. Words from a poem by Robert Browning, suggesting that, to achieve anything worthwhile, a person should attempt even those things that may turn out to be impossible. The downside with attempting the impossible is two-fold, however. 1) You may spend your life trying and never succeed. 2) If you do get there after so much sacrifice and effort, the world will expect you to do it again, or to keep doing it at the same level or better. If you won a Gold medal at the last Olympics, what are the expectations for the upcoming Olympics? That’s where passions and dreams enter a darker road, one many people choose to avoid altogether. But whatever happens, it’s worth the risk as long as you have the one thing along the way that’s a hundred times more important. And that thing is...

...people who love each other! Look at this guy, he just figured it out!

Kate Mara in MEGAN LEAVEY really seems to be the one thinking out loud in this shot while we hear a quote from THEIR FINEST. I had a blast with the Freddy Krueger references earlier but this is my favorite part. Audiomachine make the best tracks to bring that crescendo to its proper peak. You can say this part of the mashup is more in my comfort zone. And the influences from Kees that I discussed earlier can be felt here. Some shots of objects and landscapes that aren’t thematically connected but keep a nice flow. I also handpicked the best cinematography of the year all at once here. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS was a damn pretty movie, then SHAPE OF WATER, then THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS, then OKJA. Every shot looks like a million bucks. Notice the use of paper, letters and ink. I want to see you again, a character from EVERYTHING EVERYTHING writes on a sheet.

Family comes first is nice, but along with family comes conflict and distance at times. Things we said that we regret. Times we let each other down, or weren’t there when we needed to. All the papers dropping from the bridge, all the shots that refer to letter writing, that’s where I was going with that. Not always obvious because it moves so damn fast which is why I do this deconstruction blog post every year!

The final big lift from Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! Also, the first frame I added onto my AVID timeline. This is how I organize my work basically. I pick the right songs, then I identify the exact moments in that song where a big moment should happen - if you use trailer music, it will be crystal clear what those are. And then I try money shots in each of these spots over and over until one really, really fits. Then, I ask myself how did we get here, how can I get to that point? And build around these big moments. The second shot I added into the mashup was the little girl in Part 1 under the bed who points to another version of herself sleeping in her bed and says “Shhh! That’s not me.” I put that in right when the music stopped, it became a big moment, and then I built around it in order to get there. Every editor works differently, but I am just sharing how I personally prefer to do it. Back in 2012, the first clip I added onto the timeline was “I have an army. We have a Hulk.” from THE AVENGERS which means I’ve been editing this way for five straight years.

Those letters of reaching out to people you care about. Apologies or wondering how they’re doing. Flying everywhere around Winston Churchill (that’s my dog’s name, he’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi!) I guess you should always be the one to reach out in difficult situations with important people. The mistake is to not reach out, or convince yourself that they were dragging you down and you’re better off without them. That’s rarely the case, and you’ll never get over them when you know that’s not the case. Maybe they will reply someday, maybe they never will. But you swallowed your ego and you decided to give it one more shot. That’s the bravest thing we can do in this life, and I hope you’ll see it that way if the time comes. Happy New Year! Achieve your passions, take care of the ones you love and make it a wonderful day! (Halle Berry: “Aaaarrh!")

- Sleepy Skunk

[midnightiscoming-kasabian]

*Noel [Gallagher Fielding]

DIY Magazine, August 2017

Kasabian: Forever having the last laugh

Much loved and misunderstood in equal measures, Kasabian are still the band your mother warned you about. 

Keep reading

Back in 1998, when Tom Meighan was 17 years old, he stepped out onto the stage of The Shed in Leicester in front of a group of friends and family and began Kasabian’s first ever gig as though he were headlining Glastonbury. “I remember hiding behind the stairs and then appearing like it was some fucking [arena]. That’s the level my head was at then,” he recalls. “It was all our mates in the crowd, so everyone’s gonna tell you you’re good. But we knew we were good anyway. We knew we had something special.” Fast forward 16 years and four Number One records later to 2014, and Kasabian were headlining Glastonbury for real. This month, now with yet another Number One (current LP ‘For Crying Out Loud’) to add to the tally, they’ll headline Reading & Leeds for the second time. Tonight, they’re headlining Glasgow’s TRNSMT to 50,000 people. Taking top billing alongside Radiohead and hometown heroes Biffy Clyro, theirs is the only day to sell out.

Undeniably, Kasabian are one of the biggest bands in the country, sitting in a top tier cohabited by the likes of Arctic Monkeys, Muse and very few else. It’s a mountain they’ve scaled while being hit with endless criticisms along the way – for their lyrics, their ethos, their entire ‘schtick’; surely no other band of their stature has received such a media mauling as Tom, co-conspirator Serge Pizzorno and bandmates Chris Edwards and Ian Matthews. But through it all, Kasabian have always had two indisputable weapons in their arsenal: a world class live show capable of silencing even the most po-faced of doubters, and a twinkle of the eye that suggests they’re forever having twenty times more fun than any grumbling muso slagging them off. “We’re a big band. We sell albums. People don’t like it, that’s the way it is,” intones Tom, plainly. “We’ve never been arse-licked; we’ve grafted, me and Serge, to where we’ve got. Everyone hated us when we came out and we’re still here. I don’t regret any of [our choices]. It’s all tongue in cheek, you know? That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”

Our whirlwind 36 hours within the Kasabian machine begins the night before at Glasgow’s O2 Academy. The band have hired out the venue for a final rehearsal and, despite their flights from Estonia being cancelled the night before, meaning a time-consuming re-routing and a police escort to get them on a train to the city, they’re trucking on regardless. Flight cases emblazoned with the group’s logo fill up the venue and two delivery drivers bearing stacks of pizza boxes higher than their heads arrive to fuel the touring party; when the band appear just before 9pm, Serge recalls how he was bottled the last time they played here, requiring six stitches and leaving bloodied hand prints down the dressing room corridor walls. It’s fair to say that almost everything in Kasabian’s orbit is bigger and madder and more quote-worthy than normal life.

Their reasons for tonight’s additional run through, however, are impressively un-starry. Kasabian don’t like to go into a gig cold - “We’re trying to get this collective mass of people and take them somewhere, but if we have three or four days off, I feel like it takes half a set to get there,” explains Serge. “Whereas now I think, well, we were here last night so we just carry on” - and so for two hours, on the eve of one of their summer’s biggest shows, they play some of this decade’s most hedonistic hits to a handful of non-plussed roadies in an empty room. There’s possibly none more fitting a picture of Kasabian’s strange dichotomy – excessive and purposefully ridiculous yet grounded and down to earth – than watching them blast through a live karaoke version of ultimate sesh anthem ‘Fire’ (Tom’s ducked out by this point) to precisely no-one.“The thing is though, we really care,” enthuses Serge the next day, red roses stitched onto his tracksuit as he lounges with a cup of tea back in the band’s country house hotel. “There’s a responsibility when you’re at the top of the bill to end the night on a massive fucking high, and we’ve built a reputation for that. Anyone who’s indifferent to us and doesn’t get it, misses the jokes and misses the point, they see it live and at the end of the gig they understand. It’s really important to us that people go away thinking…” He pauses. “Well, we try and change your life.”While Tom bats away any mention of the band’s detractors with the dismissive attitude of a man who genuinely doesn’t give a shit (“Nah. Done it. Can’t do anything else. Headlined Glastonbury; got six albums; probably do another 10 more. That’s how it is”), Serge is more frustrated by people’s frequent misconceptions of his band. It’s indicative of the yin-yang personality types at the heart of the duo.

In conversation, Tom is gregarious and hyperactive, with the attention span of a six-year-old on Christmas Day. He says exactly what he thinks and is already distracted by the next thing before you’ve even processed the answer. Serge, meanwhile, is a generous conversationalist, ruminating in depth on any topic he’s given. On stage, Tom, says his bandmate, has been “exactly the same from day one. He was quite a powerful character [even] at school; he’d walk into the year area and you could tell his presence.” Serge, however, has only more recently come to embrace the thrill of the stage. “I didn’t feel the need to be Freddie Mercury - that compulsion some people have to perform,” he explains. “But there was a moment when I realised I can just fuck about. I think about what I can get away with to make the other lads laugh in front of all these people. It’s ridiculous standing on stage, so you should embrace it.” But while Tom and Serge might come from different angles, both have always been united in the pursuit of fun and playfulness, of keeping things just that little bit silly. During the campaign for 2014 LP ‘48:13’, they performed backed by a series of flashing slogans including ‘Free Deirdre’ and ‘Maggot Munch’. When they headlined Glastonbury, their only ‘special guest’ was pal Noel Fielding dressed as a cartoon vampire. Joyously irreverent, theirs is a humour entrenched as much in a Young Ones-esque tradition of eccentric British comedy as one of boisterous British bands. That’s the bit that so many people seem to struggle with. “One of the most frustrating things is when people miss the humour. There’s so much piss taking in everything we do,” begins Serge. “We’re in on the joke, that’s the thing that people don’t seem to understand.” The oft-quoted stereotype, we suggest, is of Kasabian as a kind of real life Spinal Tap, dialling up the rock’n’roll cliché to 11… “It’s that middle class, apologetic, broadsheet opinion,” he replies, getting slightly rattled by the thought. “Kings of Leon: that’s Spinal Tap. Kanye getting stuck on a fucking digger truck at Glastonbury: that’s Spinal Tap. I mean, hearing Kanye singing Freddie Mercury out of tune at Glastonbury is as Spinal Tap as anything anyone else has ever done, so… it’s rich, is what I’m saying. The parody and the ridiculousness of being in a band is all nonsense. It doesn’t matter what kind of band you’re in; it’s all nonsense.”

Back in the early days, around 2004’s self-titled debut, Serge admits that Kasabian embraced all the “nonsense” rather a lot more. “We didn’t think it was gonna last longer than one album, so we decided that we were gonna experience everything we could,” he grins, with the look of a man who’s seen a few detention slips in his time. “We’d turn up to festivals and just fucking go through people. Run in dressing rooms, off our fucking heads – honestly, we were so fucked. No-one liked us. We were just fucking horrible little shits, which was perfect. I love The Stooges and those kinds of bands… We wanted everyone to fucking hate us. It was great. It’s all part of the show.” If social media had existed back then, he notes, “it would have been disgusting”. Now, both Tom and Serge are fathers and in their mid-30s. Five albums after releasing the debut they thought would be their only record, they’ve settled into a space surprisingly far down the other end of the rockstar bullshit spectrum. Say what you want about the on-stage swagger and lairy bangers, but underneath it all Kasabian have kept remarkably grounded. “That’s the thing, we’re just not fucking like that. We live in Leicester with all our families and all our pals and that’s because we saw through the fakeness from day one,” Serge shrugs. “You could reel off the people who’ve turned into dicks and that’s fucked them, but that’s just not us. We saw through it. How can I write music for the people that I relate to if I’m not around them? 50,000 people aren’t gonna relate if I stand around with a load of supermodels opening envelopes. No one gives a fuck about that guy.”

Cut to later that evening and 50,000 people are most certainly giving all the fucks. Having spent the hour before stage time blasting out Beatles songs and milling among a small and unanimously entertaining group of pals including Trainspotting legend Robert Carlyle and a perma-sunglasses wearing old friend only known as The Turtle, Kasabian take to the TRNSMT stage to a deafening roar. “It’s about anticipation, it’s like a boxing match,” notes Tom about the build up to stage time. “We’re like monkeys in a cage, and it’s my job to rattle the cage. I go from Clark Kent to Superman. BANG - like that.” The set, as always, is huge and cathartic and powerful; a 90-minute, all-consuming escape from reality that has the entire field uniformly losing their minds in unison. To paraphrase Serge’s own words previously, even if you don’t get it before, by the end of the gig you’ll understand.Off stage, enjoying a post-show beverage or two, we notice that Serge is wearing not one, but three identical gold Casio watches up his arm. The theory, he explains with that twinkle in his eye, is that casually observed on stage, they’ll look like a standard bit of bling. “But then when you look closer…” he chuckles, with a wink. It’s exactly the kind of weird and wonderful thought process that characterises the songwriter and his band of childhood pals. Some people will scoff and chalk it up as another example of the band’s rockstar buffoonery, but Kasabian have always known it’s far more fun, having a laugh down here with the people. “I genuinely just think life’s too short,” smiles Serge. “The odds of any of this happening. I mean, just to be born in this country alone, you’re already dreaming - then to have the life I’ve had. So I figure, I’ve been given this, and I can’t explain why, but man, I’m going out in a blaze of glory. And I figure if I worry and hide, then what a waste. I’m gonna have the fucking time of my life on that stage. I’m gonna have it so big. And maybe that’s what people see in us? Like, you know what? They’re living it.” 

[granada-brett-crumbs]

There's No Place Like Holmes, TV Guide October 22, 1988:

PBS’s Mystery! ushers in the return of sherlock Holmes with the first of a two part story” The Sign of Four”, on Thursday, Oct 27, at 9 P.P. (ET). Check Local listings for time and channel in your area. 

Jeremy Brett is working the crowd as Granada Television’s press preview of “The Hound of the Baskervilles,” and the “darlings” are falling like rain in an English April on scribbles of both sexes. For two hours they have watched him impersonate, as he has been doing for the past five years, a Sherlock Holmes high of brow and keen of eye, his very ears alert with deductive intelligence, as befits a Holmes who once played Hamlet.

The Production which will be seen on Mystery! this season, is spooky and handsome with moments of quirky humor (”My I run my finger along your parietal fissure?” an earnest phrenologist beseeches Holmes “Oh, I had a great deal of trouble keeping a straight face at that,” Brett whispers). Now Brett is caressing the company with his seductive voice, the one Sherlock Holmes uses to persuade finesses with embarrassing secrets to come across. He look younger than he does on-scree, very “anyone-for-lawn-tennis?” in a blue jacket over white shirt, trousers and shoes. Acknowledging for the umpteenth time that it was daunting to follow in the shadows of so many other actors, he croons, “I'm just bending the willow that little bit.” Assuring a reporter of his full cooperation, he murmurs, “I shall just spread myself around you like a meat paste, darling, and you lap up the bits you like.”

One day later, Brett is letting his hair down a bit, or at least letting it flop casually over his forehead, as he prepares for a run-through of “The Secret of Sherlock Holmes,” a play that incorporates part of the classic Conan Doyle saga into a new exploration of the sleuth’s tortured psyche. (It opened in London last month, and there are plans to brin it to the U.S. next year.) The mood is more manic than yesterday's, and more mundane —the white shoes rescued now, and the inky blue jacket and tie have been replaced with a T-shirt listing the 1980 repertoire of the royal Shakespeare Company. Introducing a visitor as “the lady who's going to write a lovely piece about me,” he is teased about his confidence. “Well, if it isn't lovely, darling,” he replies blandly, “I'll slap your face,” and darts off to ginger up the rest of a select audience of colleagues and friends.

Joining Edward Hardwicke, his companion of the TV series, as Dr. Watson, Brett then swings into his portrayal of the overdeveloped brain who is deficient in human civility. But human frailties abound in his Holmes, and Brett, his voice booming out theatrical, his gestures large, creates a sizable character whom he then cuts down to size, the lines edging out in a halting, dreamy way, the laughter self-mocking. At the end of two hours, the audience applauds and Brett gradually bows, not a little shaky himself with his face dripping sweat.

In the six Sherlock Holmes stories to be telecast on PBS this season, we will se an actor who not only has become an expert at reconstructing the great detective but has put his own life together after a shattering breakdown following the death of his wife.

At dinner, Jeremy Brett is assiduous hostile, fussing over the proper arrangement of the table and the chair, attending to the emotional needs of the waitress (“How are you? Only so-so? Ho can we help?”). When he talks about himself however, what emerges is a diffident personality, more willing to discuss his failures than his successes and inclined to explain the successes away.

The youngest son of a hot-tempered lieutenant colonel, Brett, now 53, grew up in an Elizabethan manor house in Warwickshire and had an intensely sporting childhood, becoming a champion archer and riding to hounds. “I was blooded when I was 8,” yea says, referring to the old custom of initiating a child into the hunt by smearing his face with the blood and excrement-stained severed tail of the fox. When the Eton graduate announced his choice of career, a cousin recalls, “At first, one was horrified,” but says that everyone gradually accepted it. Brett makes it plain that acceptance is not enthusiasm. “When I go back, they say, ‘Are you still play-acting?’”

In order not to disgrace the family name of Huggins, Brett took his new name from the label of his only suit. After drama school, he worked in a repertory theater in Manchester, where, a company member recalls, “he almost got the sack because the leading lady thought he made her look a little older than was absolutely necessary.” He then attracted the eye of “my great god, Laurence Olivier,” who eventually brought him to the National Theatre. On the first night of “Love's Labour's Lost.” Olivier gave him a list of do's and don'ts (Do blaze, do be valiant, don’t be gabble some, don’t be adorable”), which he still takes everywhere. “It applies to everything I do.”

The problem that Brett ran into at te beginning of his career continued to vex him, as his Etonian accent and the youthful good looks he retained into middle age went against the fashion for working-class heroes. Speaking of the roles he is proudest of, Brett goes back to his Shakespearean parts of nearly two decades ago, to his Orlando at the National, his Bassanio and his Berowne. For much of his career, though, Brett has been the eternal jeune premier, a fate rather cruelly bracketed by his playing Freddy Eynsford-Hill in the fill “My Fair Lady” and then, 20 years later, supporting Rex Harrison once more in “Aren’t We All?” as “the oldest juvenile on Broadway.” An attempt to become a movie star in the ‘70s, of which Brett moved to Los Angeles, flopped, and “I lunged from one TV guest shot to other.”

Distinguished parts awaited him in British television, however—Maxim de Winder in “Rebecca,” the disillusioned Edward Ashburnham in “The Good Soldier,” In 1983 he began incarnating the cerebral detective, looking for “cracks in the marble” to humanize him, and in the process shivering his own surface. After months of immersion in Victorian horror, his sleep would be disturbed by nightmares. “I was terrified for the first two years. It’s much easier now.”

In 1985, Brett experienced a full-scale break-down upon the death of his wife of eight years, Joan Wilson, the executive producer of Masterpiece Theatre in Boston, who developed the Mystery! series. (An early, brief marriage to the actress Anna Massey produced a son, Brett’s only child.)  The two had met after she saw him on-stage in “Design for Living.” Brett smiles at the memory. “She said she liked the way I changed weight from one leg to the other”. A former actress, Wilson was a warm, gregarious person, remembered by her colleagues as an energetic perfectionist. “We were very, very deeply in love,” Brett says, though the two were in the same city only three months a year. “She was very bossy,” he recalls affectionately. “I used to say to her, ‘Darling, I’m glad we don’t live together all year.’ But when we were together, it was a bonfire of fun. She was my confidence. She understood the hell actors go through.” Wilson’s position makes a certain question inevitable. Brett admits that he has wondered about the answer himself. “If I thought it was because of Joan that I had been asked to play Sherlock Holmes, I would feel castrated.” He asked the executive producer, Michael Cox, was told it was because he looked like the original Sidney Paget drawings of Holmes, and has decided to be content with that.

His confidence whisked away after Wilson’s death, Brett says, “I tottered to the edge and fell over.” After hallucinating that eerie lights were coming through the window of his penthouse and having exasperated dialogues with God, he vas institutionalized for 10 weeks. “There were 16 people in the room. I sang to them in the ambulance all the way.” The hospital was an incentive to recovery, though not in a positive way. “You know,” he says, “the people who take care of you in those places, darling—they really can be quite naughty.” He adds quickly, “But of course they have a terrible job—it’s the worst job in the world.” The distress and concern of his friends also pulled him through. “When I saw my son looking at me with tears in his eyes, I decided I would not let that happen again.” The best cure, he found, was work, and he plunged back into the Holmes series. “They were wonderful at Granada. No one ever mentioned it.”

In Holmes, Brett has found a security and an identity that he has not had for some time. But doesn’t he worry that the par is taking up too much of his life, that, as Conan Doyle worried, Holmes is overshadowing his other, more serious achievements? Yes, he says, there is always the danger of being typecast—but he adds, with a smile, “If I’m typecast as a genius, who cares?” END

—London-based Rhoda Koening writes for New York magazine and the British Vogue.

(source)

[briangroth27]

Hell Fest Review

Hell Fest came out of nowhere for me last fall and wasn’t on my radar at all initially. Once I knew about the premise—a slasher loose in a Halloween theme park—I was in. It turns out that it could’ve been a little more inventive in places and gone further when it was doing new things, but it was definitely a fun thrill ride!

Full Spoilers…

The movie absolutely nailed the atmosphere and feeling of being at a Halloween event like Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, except when the characters were in the haunted houses: there’s no way the people in line would wait for each group to go through alone. I wish Universal could manage that! haha That said, I agree with some other comments I read online that Hell Fest could’ve used the theme park setting (in particular, the rides) a little more: this environment could’ve lent itself to a wider variety of kills based on the existence of the rides alone. One area where not using the theme park mentality as expected actually worked to great effect was the security guards’ reactions to the news that a killer was on the loose. The one-night-only conceit of Hell Fest could’ve given the security guards’ disbelief in a real serial killer a more sinister bent (they can’t shut the park down because it’d be disastrous financially), but it was a nice surprise that they genuinely believed that it was just an employee doing their job and only pretending to kill people. That was a great layer of the “what’s really happening and what’s fake?” psychological games our heroes have to contend with. It’s actually also what I wish they had pushed further with the theme park setting rather than deaths on rides: even more uncertainty about what was actually going on.

I also liked that the movie subverted my expectations regarding some of the deaths. Given one of her first scenes at Hell Fest, I thought they’d have Brooke (Reign Edwards) get killed first, following the “black girl/guy dies first” cliché, so it was an awesome surprise that charging into an isolated area after the killer in defense of her bestie Natalie (Amy Forsyth) by herself didn’t result in her dying. I also expected good guy Gavin (Roby Attal) to survive the film, allowing the harrowing events of the night to give him and Natalie the confidence to get together, so his being killed first was another shock. He also got an inventive death—killed with a carnival “test your strength” mallet—which was a good change of pace from the typical slasher M.O. Taylor’s (Bex Taylor-Klaus) death was probably the best scene of the film: first we get a theme park-sanctioned fake-out as she’s “beheaded” by a guillotine in front of a crowd, then the murderous ‘Other’ tries to kill her while she’s still strapped to the guillotine only for the blade to not be sharp enough, so she manages to free herself and escape for a brief chase where no one believes she’s in real danger. That sequence managed to create a whole lot of tension, dread, and even some comedy with the Other’s reaction to the guillotine not working the first time. It’s an extremely well-crafted sequence, so it’s a shame that it ended with the Other just going on a stabbing spree, which was much more generic (and disappointing) than the deaths that had come before. Another innovation was Nat giving up the location of a terrified Hell Fest-goer (Courtney Dietz) to the Other and even encouraging him to kill her (thinking it was all part of the haunted house). That forged a connection between them, but I wish they’d taken a lot more time to explore its effects on Natalie once she knew people were really dying. One of my favorite scares at Halloween Horror Nights was a scare-actor pulling a planted employee out of line inside one of the houses and killing them in full view of everyone, so having Natalie goad the Other into ‘doing his job’ was the most unsettling moment in this movie. Anyone could’ve made her mistake: in that kind of environment, how would you be able to tell if something like that was real?

While I liked Natalie as the lead, there was a weird streak of vaguely-defined darkness in her past that was repeatedly referenced but never really expounded on. It seemed like it was there to make her “deeper” or something, but darkness and angst aren’t shortcuts to depth, nor do they necessarily add anything to a character. She didn’t need that weirdness to make her relatable; there wouldn’t have been anything wrong with her just being a normal college student. She was a solid character without some past tragedy and it didn’t make her fight for survival any more compelling to have this vaguely referenced past (especially when the creepy bond between Natalie and the Other is established and is MUCH darker than almost anything that could possibly be in her past). Still, it was great to see Nat fight back in classic Final Girl fashion and popping out of a Boo Hole to stab the killer was great! That was a nice use of her earlier clocking the pattern of scares in the houses. The bond between Natalie and Brooke was well written and acted by both of them, making even a reference to running off to Spain that could’ve felt completely random feel like a piece of their shared history. I really liked that all these friends actually had each other’s backs and stood up for each other instead of being the unlikable idiots that you might expect in a slasher movie.

Bex Taylor-Klaus had the most energy amongst the cast and I wish the others matched her more often (though everyone else’s characters were written to be much more subdued than hers, especially the other women). She was best playing off of Tony Todd, who was wasted in his cameo. If only four people died as the news at the end of the movie says, I hope Taylor survived her stab wounds.

The villain was unfortunately kinda lackluster and the humming he was constantly doing didn’t add any creepiness. It’s not that he wasn’t a threat—the circumstances of Hell Fest made him potentially omnipresent and definitely dangerous—but he didn’t stand out as an iconic slasher. I did like how easy it was for him to get a weapon inside Hell Fest, but otherwise the Other was a pretty run-of-the-mill character, with the environment doing the heavy lifting of his intimidation factor. The reveal at the end about who he really was worked well; I wasn’t unsettled, but I liked the fact that it was just some guy. Maybe that’s an argument to not give him iconic and memorable characteristics like Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger, but the balance between his ability to blend into normal society and the memorable factor should’ve swung more in the latter’s favor for the purposes of a movie.

The movie’s dialogue was a little off in the first few scenes, but once they got to Hell Fest it flowed much more naturally. This was especially true of Natalie and Gavin’s bonding scenes; they sounded just like real people trying to find their groove on a slightly awkward first date. I liked most of the characters and thought their respective actors did a good job, particularly Forsyth, Edwards, Taylor-Klaus, and Attal. The score was good too. I thought they did a good job of crafting a more or less new environment for a slasher film, even if they didn’t utilize it to its fullest potential. Things like a ride “breaking down” and Natalie not knowing if the masked man approaching her while she was trapped in the car was the real killer or just an employee, were very cool tricks to throw the audience and the characters off-balance as to what was real and what was just part of the experience. More of that could’ve created a bigger thriller vibe, but what was there worked well.

Overall, Hell Fest is a fun slasher movie that could’ve pushed itself further. It’s worth watching, and if a sequel were to dig deeper into some of the themes and uncertainty this movie touched on, I’d watch that too.

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!  

[geekpellets]

Night of the Remakes, part 1.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 I’ve been running from the remake for a long time, but I couldn’t run anymore. It was time to finally see if this film is truly as bad as people make it seem. I think the hate for Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake is a bit overblown (the first one, the second one is ultimate poop), and it seems only a small cult of sophisticated individuals that sling phrases such ultimate poop know that the Friday the 13th reboot is the best Jason movie in that franchise. A lot of the characters come off as inconsequential. They’re not very well developed because they’re going to die. I did really like this version of Nancy. She’s smart, brave, sad, frightened, empathetic, she feels like a complete person. The character of Quentin, while lesser, is pretty good too. I liked both of these characters. The rest of them are negligent. That is except for the new Freddy Krueger. He’s...functionally ineffective.  When he’s trying to be corny like the original Freddy in the latter movies, he succeeds at being corny. When he’s trying to be frightening like the original Freddy in the earlier movies, he succeeds at being corny. What he isn’t, in either case, is entertaining or charismatic. That’s not Jackie Earle Haley. I still maintain the he could have been a great Freddy, just as Jared Leto actually could have been a great Joker, but the material let them both down. Everyone actor does a good job with one exception. It’s always good to see some Clancy Brown. There’s a guy that dies like 5 minutes in, I didn’t care for his performance, but he dies five minutes in so what does it matter. I truly feel if it seemed like any performance was bad, it’s just because of what they were working with. I think the movie is well paced. I never felt like things were taking too long to move...along. Shut up! Because Freddy didn’t have the presence or effect that I imagine anyone was hoping for, the film definitely lacked in suspense. The movie has some lame jump scares. It plays loud music and makes Freddy vibrate with rhythm because they had just seen Jacob’s Ladder for the first time and realized that things that vibrate are always scary. ALWAYS. A lot of this movie feels less like a Nightmare on Elmstreet movie and more like a generic ghost movie, like a mediocre version of The Shining. The practical effects are alright. The CG effects vary. The transitions from real world to dream world, and from one setting in the dream world to the other, are fantastic. It’s the best thing this film added to the mythos, and if they had to lean hard on micro-napping to do it, I’m ok with that. The other CG effects? Mostly underwhelming. This movie copies many iconic scenes from the original, the original which didn’t have the money this movie has, and still pulled off the same effects waaaay better. The practical effects are good, but they’re quite quick and nothing is original or inventive as one might expect from an Elm Street movie. There aren’t a lot of kills in this movie, so there isn’t a lot of opportunity to show off, and I don’t think they made the best of it. Nightmare on Elm Street ought to be considered a dream project. Freddy can kill in any way you can imagine. It’s an opportunity to stretch one’s creative muscles and really show out, and that opportunity was passed on in this film. It’s hard not to compare this film to the original when it keeps doing homages to it, and those homages are often lacking. As the film continues all the good things coalesce to form a strong climax. It focuses on its strongest characters and its strongest additions. I really enjoyed the last 25-30 minutes of this film. Everything leading up to it, however, is either a bit wonky and uninspired, or a lesser version of what happened in the original movie. I think it’s an average movie. There are worse movies in the Elm Street franchise than this. I think it’s mediocre, and I think it doesn’t have an audience. It doesn’t appeal to people that don’t like horror, it doesn’t appeal to horror fanatics, and it doesn’t appeal to the Elm Street fans. This movie feels like it wasn’t made for anyone. It was just made. But yeah, go ahead and skip this one. Night of the Demons 2009 It’s interesting. Many of the characters in Night of the Demons and Night of the Demons 2009 are caricatures. No depths, one personality trait dominating the entire character, and yet I find myself like the original’s characters better. The originals characters were more varied and fun. There are two girls in Night of the Demons 2009 who both dress in cat suits, have the same personality, and have dialogue that either one of the could say and it wouldn’t make an ounce of difference who says it. Angela in the 2019 is actually the same as these two girls in the cat suits, she just has a VERY slight gothic bend to her. So basically, three of the four women in this movie are stereotypical college party girls. Then men fare slightly better. One of them has no personality and almost zero lines. One of them is like a stereotypical scumbag drug dealer. One is actually quite human, surprisingly. He ended up being my favorite. The protagonist is alright. She’s stereotypical college party girl, but she’s a little more reserved about it. That’s something. Unfortunately, Diora Baird’s acting is inconsistent, so even if the protagonist is a little more complex than the other women, I disliked her the most. It’s hard to even talk about the acting because the dialogue itself isn’t great. Edward Furlong put up a decent performance. I didn’t know he was still acting. John F. Beach put in the best performance, but again that’s not saying much given what they’re working with. The movie’s pacing was fine. The movie isn’t one that is attempting to spook you. It wants to be a fun, entertaining, turn your brain off 80′s throwback. It’s successful in much of this. This movie has a theme song that plays that’s not even good, but the fact that it even commits to a theme song is pretty impressive in my book. At first, the movie does a long of unique things. It doesn’t follow the same series of events as the original, and it doesn’t follow the same reasoning. Once the demons come out, it does do its version of a few iconic scenes. They not as good. Part of that is because the original still had a suspenseful atmosphere and these things add to that. Here, it’s all tongue and cheek. Part of that is, it just isn’t done as well. There are some CG effects. They’re bad. The practical effects vary. Some look like practical effects from the mid-80′s which, while not believable, is exactly what the movie is going for. Others look great. These are primarily the demons themselves. These demons are well designed, and they absolutely nailed the execution. The blood also varies for the same reason. Sometimes we’re dealing with throw back fake gooey 80′s blood, and sometimes they attempt to go for a more realistic thing. Mostly we’re dealing with goo. This movie did some good things, it did some bad things, but it was mostly entertaining throughout. I was ready to give it a nice average score. Then a bit of exposition happens, and it’s terrible. The way it happens is kind of insulting to me. I understand making a fun movie, but that doesn’t mean the audience is just going to mindlessly accept everything. This one scene made me think, “Wow, they really think I’m so dumb that they can get away with this.” Not only that, this film has rules. It repeats them too, quite a few times. A shame then that the movie couldn’t follow them. I’m always disappointed by a film that can’t follow its own rules. So is it worth watching? No. No it isn’t. It’s still better than any of the sequels though. Maybe that’s something for somebody.

[placetobenation]

AFC

BALTIMORE RAVENS

Offense: For the first time in eleven seasons, the Ravens will not have Joe Flacco as their opening day starting quarterback. Flacco was traded away to the Denver Broncos this offseason for a 4th rd pick as the Ravens have turned things over to last year’s 1st rd pick Lamar Jackson. While showing improvements this preseason, Jackson struggled passing the ball last season and looked completely overwhelmed in the playoffs against the Los Angeles Chargers. However, the Ravens will be installing a run-heavy offense that features free agent acquisition RB Mark Ingram, last year’s leading rusher Gus Edwards, and rookie Justice Hill. And second-year TE Mark Andrews has impressed this preseason and poised to take a step forward. He could be a big help to Jackson in the passing game and might need to as the Ravens have one of the weakest receiving corps in the league.  Perhaps the biggest question on offense is in fact the line where they are thin in the interior. If they struggle to block in the running game it will be a long season.

Defense: Last year’s defense allowed the fewest yards and points per game but lost a lot of key players. Pass rushers Terrell Suggs and Za’Darius Smith, Safety Eric Weddle, and linebacker C.J. Mosley. They also put their top nickleback, Tavon Young, on injured reserve. The signing of Earl Thomas will help the loss of Weddle (its actually an improvement) but the team did not do much to add pass rushers this offseason.  I do not see how this defense as currently constructed can once again lead the league in the aforementioned categories.

Prediction: This team is going to struggle to get back to the playoffs. For that to happen Jackson is going to have to take a giant step forward and with minimal help in terms of pass catchers I do not know how that is supposed to happen. The defense will continue to be the heart of the team but they do not have the same depth as they did last season. I think they end up finishing in the middle of the pack in the AFC.

BUFFALO BILLS

Offense: Josh Allen, who struggled with accuracy in college, put up a 52% completion rate along with just 10 touchdowns and 12 INT’s. Bringing in Cole Beasley as a reliable slot receiver should in theory help out Allen’s percentage, who like Lamar Jackson, needs to do more than just scramble. The team released LeSean McCoy and seem poised to give rookie Devin Singletary some of the workload along with the newly signed Frank Gore and TJ Yeldon. Besides Beasley, the team also signed deep threat John Brown at receiver to give Allen another weapon. The Bills also revamped their offensive line and made Mitch Morse the highest paid center in the league. However, Morse has struggled with concussion issues this offseason and although cleared to play now its certainly a situation worth monitoring.

Defense: Longtime defensive tackle Kyle Williams retired after last season but has been replaced by first round pick Ed Oliver. The weakness on defense is at pass rusher where they have Jerry Hughes and mediocre depth behind him. The team also has young talent at linebacker led by Tremaine Edmunds and cornerback Tre’Davious White. And the safety duo of Micah Hyde and Jordan Poyer are one of the best in the league.

Prediction: The Bills acquired some skill players in the offseason but still do not seem to have enough there. However, with a strong defense and an easy schedule there is a chance this team could sneak into the playoffs as a wild card team. Josh Allen needs to show marked improvement in the passing game though and if he doesn’t then it will be another long season for the Bills Mafia.

CINCINNTATI BENGALS

Offense: New head coach Zac Taylor is primed for a tough first season. Star receiver A.J. Green is hurt and will miss at least the first few games of the season. Plus, first round pick tackle Jonah Williams tore his labrum before minicamp and is out for the season. Their other projected starting tackle, Cordy Glenn, is in concussion protocol and does not appear to be starting week 1 and who knows when he will clear. And this is a team that lacks depth across their entire offensive line. The offense will have to rely on running back Joe Mixon and to have Tyler Boyd step up in Green’s absence as they will go on the road against some tough defenses in September (Seattle, Buffalo, and Pittsburgh).

Defense: The team went ahead and got Lou Anarumo to become their new defensive coordinator after the team allowed the most yards in the entire NFL this past season. However, they did not do much this past offseason to improve, especially at linebacker where they have one of the weakest corps in the league. Their secondary is solid at least and will have to play at a high level once again in order for this team to compete.

Prediction: This defense is terrible and QB Andy Dalton has been declining over the past few seasons. This is a team trying to compete in the future and does not have the talent to get out of the AFC North basement this season and likely have their eyes on one of the top quarterbacks in the 2020 draft.

CLEVELAND BROWNS

Offense: Last year’s offensive coordinator Freddie Kitchens got the promotion to head coach this offseason. And the team went out and acquired star receiver Odell Beckham to go along with Jarvis Landry, running back Nick Chubb and tight end David Njoku to give quarterback Baker Mayfield an arsenal of weapons. Plus, the team will get receiver Antonio Callaway back after week 5 and running back Kareem Hunt week 9. The only question on the offensive side of the ball is the line where depth is an issue and the fact they traded away star guard Kevin Zeitler as part of the Beckham deal.

Defense: Steve Wilks, after being fired just one season into his tenure as the Arizona Cardinals head coach, is now the team’s new defensive coordinator. He has what should be a dominant defensive line with Myles Garrett plus the newly acquired Olivier Vernon and Sheldon Richardson. Denzel Ward could take the next step this season into becoming an elite cornerback and second-round draft pick Greedy Williams has impressed in the preseason. Linebacker is the position of weakness on this team.

Prediction: As long as Kitchens can manage the personalities on offense and they defense improves then this team could really make a deep run in the playoffs. Their schedule is easier than last season too. However, if they start off slow out the gate and the stronger personalities on the team start to clash then it could get ugly. I think there is too much talent not to at least get a wild card birth especially given the amount of mediocre teams in the conference.

DENVER BRONCOS

Offense: Joe Flacco is the team’s new quarterback as the franchise tries to correct it’s woes at that position. Although Flacco lost his job in the middle of last season to rookie Lamar Jackson, he has looked better this preseason and still an improvement over what the team had at the position last season. And he will not have to worry about a rookie stealing his job since second-round pick Drew Lock (who struggled mightily this preseason) was placed on injured reserve. The team will also have to bank on second-year receivers Courtland Sutton and DaeSean Hamilton along with first-round pick TE Noah Fant to step up since their most reliable veteran, Emmanuel Sanders, is coming off of a torn ACL. Hopefully the new offensive line coach and NFL Hall of Famer Mike Munchak can help stabilize the line to get a running game going with backs Phillip Lindsay and Royce Freeman.

Defense: New head coach Vic Fangio inherits a strong defense with elite pass rusher Von Miller and another pass rusher on his way to achieve that status in Bradley Chubb. Chris Harris Jr. is still one of the top cornerbacks in the league and the team signed Bryce Callahan to play the slot, who last season was under Fangio in Chicago. Inside linebacker is the weak link for the defense.

Prediction: The defense will be the heart of the team and while Flacco is an improvement over Keenum, its still probably not enough to get the team into the playoffs given their overall inexperience at receiver. They will be competitive at least but most likely a near .500 team.

HOUSTON TEXANS

Offense: It has been an eventful preseason for the Texans. Starting running back Lamar Miller tore his ACL and will miss the season. The team also addressed their offensive line woes by drafting both Tytus Howard and Max Scharping in the first two rounds this season while trading for tackle Laremy Tunsil. This of course after they waived free agent signing Matt Kalil in a move that was a mistake to begin with. And they acquired running back Duke Johnson from the Browns who might end up being the starter for this team while also trading for Carlos Hyde. Receiver DeAndre Hopkins is one of the best in the league. They also have Will Fuller V and Keke Coutee who are both talented but frequently hurt. Adding Kenny Stills in the Tunsil trade will help provide depth.

Defense: The team traded away 2014 #1 overall pick Jadevon Clowney to the Seattle Seahawks for pennies on the dollar that leaves a glaring hole at outside linebacker. The team also revamped their secondary, which collapsed at the end of last season, by adding Bradley Roby, Tashaun Gipson, and drafting CB Lonnie Johnson Jr. in the second round this season. JJ Watt returned to form last season and the rest of the defensive line is strong against the run.

Prediction: Questionable trades aside, the offensive line woes were addressed but they do not have anyone to replace Miller so expect QB Deshaun Watson to air it out all season long. I don’t know how they will be able to replace Clowney but I still think they are the most talented team in their division and should get into the playoffs on the strength of their passing game.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

Offense: The sudden retirement of QB Andrew Luck has tempered this team’s expectations after they surprised everyone and made the playoffs. Jacoby Brissett is now the team’s starter with Brian Hoyer just added to back him up. The team’s entire starting offensive line returns and the only key free agent addition on offense was WR Devin Funchess. They did however draft speedy WR Parris Campbell in the second-round. The running back combination of Marlon Mack, Nyheim Hines, and Jordan Wilkins are returning and will need to step up their game and help take pressure off of Brissett. When Brissett started for the Colts in 2017, TE Jack Doyle made the Pro Bowl and could be a security blanket of sorts for Brissett this season as well.

Defense: The big free agent acquisition this season was pass rusher Justin Houston and he fills an immediate need for this team that will need to have their entire defense take a step forward in order to compete. Most of their secondary and linebackers are returning with CB Pierre Desir earning himself a three-year/$25 million dollar contract this past offseason.

Prediction: After exceeding all expectations last year they will have to deal with the sudden retirement of Luck. And they do not have the benefit of playing one of the easiest schedules in the league. The running game will have to be able to take the pressure off of Brissett and the defense to be able to consistently get to the QB in order for them to have a shot at the playoffs. I think they are going to come up short.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

Offense: The team has moved on from QB Blake Bortels and gave Nick Foles a four-year/$88 million dollar contract this offseason to become the new franchise QB. This offense averaged a pathetic 15.3 points per game this past season and need more than a new QB to improve. RB Leonard Fournette was a massive disappointment last season and with nothing behind him at his position he needs to not only remain healthy but to produce. It should be noted that he has had a good preseason.  Dede Westbrook is returning as the top receiver and if Marqise Lee can return to where he was before an ACL tear that cost him last season then it might not be so bad but this is certainly not a position of strength. And unlike in Philadelphia, Foles will not have the luxury to throw to a tight end the caliber of Zach Ertz.

Defense: This team’s defense took a hit when linebacker Telvin Smith announced he was sitting out for the season due to personal and family concerns. However, it did add to its already dominant defensive line by drafting Josh Allen in the first round this season. Jalen Ramsey will need to become a shutdown corner again this season especially since the team lost both starting safeties and replaced then with Ronnie Harrison and Jarrod Wilson, who have a combined 10 NFL starts.

Prediction: The defense should be good but there is still a lot of questions about the offense despite an upgrade at QB. If Fournette puts up a repeat performance of last season then expect the defense to spend a lot of time on the field. They have a chance to compete in the maligned AFC South but I personally think this team will finish last and head coach Doug Marrone is a candidate to get fired midseason.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

Offense: Reigning league MVP Patrick Mahomes will look to get his team deep into another playoff run this season. Tyreek Hill has avoided any disciplinary action by the league and will be ready to go for week 1. He pairs with receiver Sammy Watkins and TE Travis Kelce to give Mahomes a productive pass catching trio. Running back is different however as Damien Williams will be the starter and LeSean McCoy was signed after being waived by Buffalo to be the backup and likely in the game during passing downs. The offensive line lost center Mitch Morse in the offseason but last year’s waiver wire steal Austin Reiter should be able to take his place.

Defense: Bob Sutton was fired as defensive coordinator and the team replaced him with Steve Spagnuolo and with that will be switching to his 4-3 scheme which is why they got rid of Justin Houston and Dee Ford then traded for Frank Clark. However, the team still has problems at inside linebacker and depth at cornerback especially since Morris Claiborne will miss the first four games of the season due to violation of the league’s substance abuse policy. They have upgraded at safety however with Tyrann Mathieu and second-round draft pick Juan Thornhill impressing so far this preseason.

Prediction: With a high-powered offense and a facelift on defense this team is expected to make a deep playoff run with anything short of a Super Bowl appearance a disappointment. Whether or not the defense can improve remains to be seen but they have a high chance at being the #1 seed in the AFC.

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS

Offense: With the Chargers publically stating they have given holdout RB Melvin Gordon the permission to seek a trade its safe to say we will not be seeing him play for the team this season. That means Austin Ekeler and Justin Jackson will have to split the load. Keenan Allen remains the team’s top receiver and they let Tyrell Williams walk in free agency so 2017 first-round pick Mike Williams can take his place in the starting lineup. The team is also hopeful that TE Hunter Henry can bounce back after missing all of last season with a torn ACL. And the team was also dealt another blow when starting tackle Russell Okung was diagnosed with a Pulmonary Embolism, putting his season in jeopardy, and do not appear to have an adequate replacement on their current roster.

Defense: Safety Derwin James will miss a good chunk of the season after undergoing surgery to fix a stress fracture in his foot, another huge blow to the team. While the team hopes first-round pick Jerry Tillery can help the interior of the line, they boast a great duo on the ends in Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram. Their linebacking corps by signing Thomas Davis and are hopeful that Denzel Perryman can stay healthy. Cornerback is a position of strength on this team.

Prediction: With key injuries to Okung and James plus Gordon holding out the beginning of the season is going to be tough. They need Allen and Henry to stay healthy on offense and find a way to replace Gordon to once again become a playoff team. Their defense, even with James injured, is still strong and I do believe they really should become a wild card team once again.

MIAMI DOLPHINS

Offense: Offensive-minded head coach Adam Gase is now with the Jets and QB Ryan Tannehill also gone. The team now has journeyman Ryan Fitzpatrick as their opening day starter and traded for Josh Rosen, who at least makes for an intriguing backup option. They also traded OT Laremy Tunsil, lost OT Ja’Wuan James via free agency and waived G Josh Sitton and now boast one of the worst offensive lines in the league. The offense will have to rely more on the ground with Kenyan Drake and Kalen Ballage, who has not shown much heading into his second season.

Defense: New head coach Brian Flores will look to improve a defense that finished second worst in the league in both sacks and rushing defense. And do so after getting rid of their top three pass rushers as the team is looking for players that can play both 4-3 and 3-4 defenses. The strength of the defense is in the safety led by Pro Bowl cornerback Xavien Howard.

Prediction: Arguably the least talented team in the league. Anything more than a couple of wins will be exceeding expectations as this team is focused on the future and not field a competitive team for this season.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Offense: The defending Super Bowl Champions will have to deal with the retirement of star TE Rob Gronkowski. Given the shallow depth at the position on the roster expect the team to run the ball more with Sony Michel leading the way. Josh Gordon staying active all season long will also help the blow of Gronkowski leaving but that is certainly not a guarantee. Plus, first-round pick WR N’Keal Harry will begin the year on injured reserve. The team will also have to deal with starting C David Andrews missing the season due to a blood clot. Line coach Dante Scarnecchia will have his work cut out for him this season. 

Defense: Brian Flores is now the head coach in Miami and after Greg Schiano quit shortly after being named the defensive coordinator, head coach Bill Belichick will now call the plays. This defense returns most of the starters from last year and replaced Trey Flowers with Michael Bennett. The strength of this team is in the secondary with elite CB Stephon Gilmore leading the way. There is also depth at linebacker too and the defensive line is strong against the run but there is not a stud pass rusher on the team.

Prediction: The team should easily win the division as they play one of the easiest schedules in the league. However, in order to make a deep playoff run, they will need to figure out how to make up for the production lost by Gronkowski’s retirement and figure out who will replace Andrews at center. Edelman will need to stay healthy and Gordon has to stay active otherwise there just isn’t enough weapons in the passing game for this team to succeed deep into the playoffs.

NEW YORK JETS

Offense: New head coach Adam Gase was brought in to develop second-year QB Sam Darnold, who struggled at the end of the season. The good news is that Darnold has had a terrific preseason.  They also signed stud RB Le’Veon Bell and slot WR Jamison Crowder as weapons but still lack a #1 pass catcher. Plus, TE Chris Herndon will miss the first four games due to suspension but he could be poised for a breakout when he returns. C Ryan Kalil came out of retirement and will be the starter while the team also traded for G Kelechi Osemele as this team has greatly improved their line this offseason but still lack depth.

Defense: New defensive coordinator Gregg Williams is known for an aggressive defense but inherits a team with a lack of a pass rush and nothing at cornerback. At least they should be good at stopping the run and have one of the best young safety duos in the league in Jamal Adams and Marcus Maye but it appears this team will struggle mightily against the pass.

Prediction: With the front office disaster this offseason in the rear view mirror the focus is now on the development of Darnold. As long as Gase can maximize his potential this team can build to something. If they start coming together as the season continues the fact they play one of the easiest schedules in the league (especially in the second half) then there is a slim chance they could grab a wild card spot but the lack of a pass rush and poor depth at cornerback is very likely going to prevent that from happening. They should be around .500.

OAKLAND RAIDERS

Offense: This team made a splash in the offseason by trading for WR Antonio Brown. He will receive plenty of targets this season. They also went out and signed WR Tyrell Williams and OT Trent Brown while drafting RB Josh Jacobs in the first round. This side of the ball is much improved from last season although they will struggle early on in the season with guards Gabe Jackson (knee injury) and Richie Incognito (suspension) missing time.

Defense: The team shocked the world by drafting Clemson DE Clelin Farrell with the 4th overall pick this season. He will need to produce as a rookie since this team was dead last in the league last season in both sacks and QB hits. They also drafted hard-hitting safety Johnathan Abram in the first round to pair with free agent pickup LaMarcus Joyner at safety. While the team’s secondary appears to be stabilizing the front seven is still very much a work in progress.

Prediction: The offense should be better this season but the defense is still a liability as this team is not expected to make the playoffs. And with the news that Brown will be facing possible suspension from the team it appears that relationship might never recover and who knows if/when he returns. It is shaping up to be another long season in Oakland.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Offense: Antonio Brown’s departure leaves the door open for JuJu Smith-Schuster to become the #1 receiver. In Brown’s absence the team will need free agent pickup Donte Moncrief, last year’s second-round pick James Washington and this year’s third-round pick Diontae Johnson to step up their game and become a reliable #2 receiver. James Conner will be in his second-year as the featured back with Jaylen Samuels and rookie Benny Snell as his backups. The team also returns one of the best offensive lines in the game.

Defense: The team traded up to draft ILB Devin Bush to fill their biggest need. They also signed CB Steve Nelson to pair with Joe Haden, giving the team a formidable duo but Haden has not played a full season since he was a rookie in 2010 and the team has little depth behind him. One safety position is locked up by last year’s first-round Tremaine Edmunds but are set to have AAF castoff Kameron Kelly start the season with Sean Davis injured. The front seven is led by Cameron Heyward and TJ Watt. Its key they continue to get to the QB with a questionable secondary.

Prediction: This team should make the playoffs but depending on how their receivers step up and secondary improves will determine how far they can go. I think losing Brown and Bell will turn out to be an addition by subtraction but others will have to step up in their absence.

TENNESSEE TITANS

Offense: QB Marcus Mariota is in the final year of his rookie contract and will have to prove he can not only stay healthy but also produce in order to stay with the team. If he should falter, the team can turn to Ryan Tannehill who they acquired from the Dolphins. The team signed Rodger Saffold to play guard but will lose OT Taylor Lewan the first four games of the season due to PED suspension but their O-Line should be improved with all the starters playing together. Besides the line, the team signed slot WR Adam Humphries and drafted AJ Brown in the second round as another target. The team will be focused on the run and hopes Derrick Henry can build off of how he finished last season (786 yards, 11 TD’s in his final 9 games).

Defense: This defense allowed the third fewest yards in the league last season. Jurell Casey will anchor the defensive line again and the team might also get first-round pick Jeffery Simmons back by mid-season. Their secondary is also a deep group but despite the addition of Cameron Wake they are still lacking at outside linebacker. Hopefully last year’s second-round pick Harold Landry can step up and replace what the team lost in Brian Orakpo and Derrick Morgan when both retired following last season.

Prediction: Unless the defense turns into one of the best in the league and Henry runs all season long the way he did to close out the season I do not see how this team can make the playoffs. Mariota is playing under another new offensive coordinator and has yet to show that he can be a franchise QB in now his fifth season. This is another team that should hover around the .500 mark but lacks the offensive firepower to make the playoffs.

NFC

ARIZONA CARDINALS

Offense: Kliff Kingsbury is taking over to instill his Air Raid offense with this year’s #1 overall pick Kyler Murray at QB. However, it remains to be seen whether or not this offense can hold up in the NFL and Murray will be playing behind a terrible offensive line. They at least have weapons on RB David Johnson and WR Larry Fitzgerald with the hope Christian Kirk can make a step forward in his second season as a receiver but beyond that there is not much depth.

Defense: Star CB Patrick Peterson will miss the first six games due to PED suspension while the other slated starter, Robert Alford, went on injured reserve. The team will have to rely on second-round pick Byron Murphy until they come back. The Cardinals also released free agent acquisition Darius Philon after being arrested on aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. He was going to be their starting defensive end. The team does have Chandler Jones as an edge rusher and signed veteran Terrell Suggs to play opposite of him. Safeties Budda Baker and DJ Swearinger are solid.

Prediction: A rookie head coach and QB with a poor offensive line is not a recipe for success. Murray will be running for his life this season and with his small frame he has a legitimate shot to get hurt. Add to that there are questions as to whether or not this offense can work to go with problems at cornerback and the defensive line and its likely this is going to be one of the worst teams in the league.  

ATLANTA FALCONS

Offense: WR Julio Jones still does not have a new contract and could end up holding out. With the first two games of the season against Minnesota and Philadelphia, two projected playoff teams, its imperative they have Jones out there otherwise it’s a very good chance they are starting the season 0-2. If he does hold out then Calvin Ridley will be receiving more targets. potential holdout is The team focused on rebuilding the offensive line as they drafted G Chris Lindstrom and OT Kaleb McGary in the first round and signed G’s Jamon Brown and James Carpenter. They also hope Devonta Freeman only played two games last season and no longer has Tevin Coleman as a backup. Last year’s third-round pick Ito Smith will have to become more consistent this season.

Defense: Head Coach Dan Quinn will take over defensive playcalling duties after the firing of Marquand Manuel. Last season they lost both starting safeties for the season and ranked in the bottom 10 of the league in getting to the QB. The hope is that Quinn can devise plays to allow Vic Beasley and Takkarist McKinley to get to the QB as this team did not do much to add on defense but having Keanu Neal and Ricardo Allen at safety should be a huge help.

Prediction: Provided Jones does not hold out this should be a team competing for a playoff spot. The offensive line has improved and if Quinn can get more production out of his defense then the team has a shot to win the division.  

CAROLINA PANTHERS

Offense: Cam Newton’s status for week one is still in doubt with a foot sprain and having Kyle Allen take his place against the Rams is certainly not ideal. Christian McCaffrey is a threat on the ground and in the passing game but if he were ever to go down to injury there is minimal depth behind him with the #2 option at the moment last year’s practice squad member Reggie Bonnafon. The team lost Devin Funchess in free agency and waived Torrey Smith so last year’s rookie D.J. Moore is now the #1 option with Curtis Samuel, Jarius Wright, and Chris Hogan behind him on the depth chart. Certainly not the strongest group in the league. After playing just 16 games combined the past two seasons the team hopes that TE Greg Olsen can stay healthy this season. Matt Paradis will replace Ryan Kalil at Center but other than that the teams still lacks depth across the offensive line.

Defense: The team is no switching to the 3-4 defense for the first time under head coach Ron Rivera. Their defensive line among the best in the league with Kawann Short, Dontari Poe, and Gerald McCoy. They also added pass rusher Bruce Irvin in free agency while first-round pick Brian Burns has impressed this preseason but they need to improve on their pass rush that produced just 35 sacks last season. The position of weakness is at cornerback and they do not have an adequate replacement for last year’s nickel back Captain Munnerlyn.

Prediction: Newton’s health is vital to the team’s success. If the young receivers take a step forward this season and McCaffrey continues to produce at a high level then there is no reason they shouldn’t be able to compete for a playoff spot as long as the secondary can show signs of improvement.

CHICAGO BEARS

Offense: QB Mitch Trubisky will need to once again improve in order for this team to return to the playoffs. In his second season of head coach Matt Nagy’s offense he should have a better command of things but must improve his awareness and stop throwing into coverage. The team traded RB Jordan Howard but drafted his replacement, David Montgomery, in the third-round to pair with Tarik Cohen.  They also added WR Cordarrelle Patterson who can be used in the utility role like he was this past season in New England. There are a lot of creative pieces for Nagy to use but he does lack a true #1 receiver.

Defense: Defensive Coordinator Vic Fangio left to coach the Broncos and was replaced by former head coach Chuck Pagano, who will be keeping the 3-4 defense intact. Pagano will also become more aggressive with the blitz. Their front seven remains strong with Khalil Mack as arguably the best pass rusher in the game and a dominant defensive line. However, they did lose two starters in the secondary in Bryce Callahan and Adrian Amos. They still have two Pro Bowl players in S Eddie Jackson and CB Kyle Fuller but Callahan and Amos were replaced by lesser talents.

Prediction: The running game should be improved but the defense will take a step back and the team has one of the toughest schedules in the league. The secondary has the potential to get burnt when they blitz and again, Trubisky needs to improve his decision making. It will be really tough to win the division again but they also should be competing for a playoff spot.

DALLAS COWBOYS

Offense: RB Ezekiel Elliott’s holdout just ended which not only is a huge to the running game but also the passing game where he caught 77 balls last season. QB Dak Prescott has never missed a start in his three seasons and boasts a 32-16 regular season record. The team replaced slot WR Cole Beasley with veteran Randall Cobb and had TE Jason Witten come out of retirement to rejoin the team but the focal point of the passing game will be WR Amari Cooper and the hope is that Michael Gallup can produce as the other starting receiver. Former Pro Bowler C Travis Frederick returns after missing last season to bolster one of the best lines in the league. Kellen Moore is in his first season as the offensive coordinator though and there could very well be some growing pains.

Defense: The strength of the defense is at linebacker with Leighton Vander Esch and Jaylon Smith leading the way. And their pass rush will be better once Robert Quinn returns from a two-game suspension and if Randy Gregory ever gets reinstated by the league. Demarcus Lawrence was re-signed and had led the team in sacks last season. The team has depth at cornerback led by Pro Bowler Byron Jones but do not have another safety to pair with Xavier Woods as Jeff Heath will likely remain the starter.

Prediction: With a fairly easy schedule to start the season they against teams they match up well against they should rack up enough wins to make the playoffs. And if this defense can create more turnovers they can really become dangerous. They could even surprise and get a first-round bye but they need the offense to click under their new coordinator for that to happen.

DETROIT LIONS

Offense: The team hired Darrell Bevell to become their new offensive coordinator and he plans to focus on the running game. That means second-year RB Kerryon Johnson should see a substantial workload increase. Behind him are veteran CJ Anderson and rookie sixth-round pick Ty Johnson. QB Matthew Stafford pass for fewer than 4,000 yards for the first time since 2010 but is fully recovered from a lingering back injury suffered last season. The team signed WR Danny Amendola and TE Jesse James then drafted TE TJ Hockenson with the 8th overall pick in the draft to help out Stafford. Marvin Jones and Kenny Golladay remain the starting receivers. Most of the team’s offensive line is returning and they are solid starting group but does lack depth.

Defense: The team made a big free agent splash in signing DE Trey Flowers and he pairs with Damon Harrison and A’Shawn Robinson to form one of the better lines in the league. However, their linebacking corps leaves a lot to be desired and they are lacking on the edge. CB Darius Slay is excellent and the team signed nickel back Justin Coleman this offseason. Tracy Walker, last year’s third-round pick, will replace the departed Glover Quin Jr. at safety.

Prediction: They’ve made improvements on both sides of the ball but still lack elite playmakers. This is not a playoff team and there is a chance the team could implode under coach Matt Patricia and Stafford might struggle under Bevell’s offense. I don’t think they are going to win more than 6-7 games and if the defense regresses then Patricia might find himself in the unemployment line this coming offseason.

GREEN BAY PACKERS

Offense: Mike McCarthy was fired as head coach and replaced by Titans offensive coordinator Matt LaFleur. Expect more running from this team with RB Aaron Jones poised to have a huge season. Rodgers was dealt a blow when WR Equanimous St. Brown went on IR for the season as they are not deep at the position. Star WR Davante Adams’ health is key for this team to have any chance at a playoff birth. The team did bolster their offensive line by signing OT Billy Turner and drafting G Elgton Jenkins in the second-round for the team’s new zone running scheme. The scheme might also help remedy last season’s problem where the line gave up the third most sacks in the league.

Defense: Most of the offseason focus this season was on the defense. The team signed LB’s Preston Smith and Za’Darius Smith who can play the edge. It also signed S Adrian Amos from division rival Chicago and spent two first-round picks on defense in DE Rashan Gary and S Darnell Savage. The team also hopes CB Kevin King can remain healthy as he has shown loads of potential when on the field. The team still boasts a strong defensive line.

Prediction: Rodgers had a poor relationship with McCarthy last season and if he gets off on the wrong foot with a rookie head coach in Lafleur then it can get ugly really fast. The team will have to succeed at running with Rodgers lacking in pass catchers other than Adams. The defense is upgraded and much faster but they will all have to succeed expectations in order to make the playoffs. I think they are going to be a .500 team.

LOS ANGELES RAMS

Offense: After disappointing in the Super Bowl, QB Jared Goff hopes to rebound this season. Having WR Cooper Kupp back and healthy and gives the team arguably the best receiving corps in the league. And the team thinks last year’s second-round pick, TE Gerald Everett, can be ready for a bigger workload this season. However, there are questions about RB Todd Gurley having arthritis and he will be on a reduced workload which is why the team went ahead and drafted Darrell Henderson in the third-round. Plus, the team starters Rodger Saffold and John Sullivan on their offensive line and replaced them with a pair of first-time starters.

Defense: Wade Phillips is back as the defensive coordinator as the team did not make many changes this offseason. Ndamukong Suh is gone after a disappointing season and they will look to replace him with a combination of players. The team also added veterans LB Clay Matthews and S Eric Weddle while still boasting one of the best cornerback groups in the league. They still lack a threat on the edge and half of their sacks last season came from Aaron Donald.

Prediction: There are some questions on offense as to how much Gurley can hold up and the departures on the line can be replaced but having Kupp healthy is extremely beneficial to Goff. The defense should remain strong and this team is poised to make another deep playoff run and should win the division.  

MINNESOTA VIKINGS

Offense: This team overhauled their offensive philosophy by naming Kevin Stefanski the new offensive coordinator with Gary Kubiak as the assistant head coach/offensive advisor and plans to run a similar system Kirk Cousins used under Mike Shanahan in Washington. Dalvin Cook is a talented running back but can never stay on the field. Drafting Alexander Mattison in the third-round as his backup is a better insurance policy than Latavius Murray was last season. Stefon Diggs and Adam Thielen remain one of the top receiving duos in the league but there is little depth behind them. TE Irv Smith was drafted in the second-round and can pair up with Kyle Rudolph this season and likely become his replacement in the future. The team also drafted C Garrett Bradbury in the first-round as the team needs to improve their blocking as Cousins was the second most hurried QB last season.

Defense: LB Anthony Barr had a change of heart and returned to the team after originally accepting an offer from the Jets as that would have left a gaping hole at linebacker, a position where the team does not have much depth. DE Danielle Hunter had 14.5 sacks last season and the team hopes Everson Griffen can overcome his issues that caused him to miss time last season and return to form. Starting cornerbacks Xavier Rhodes and Trae Waynes are solid but they will be without nickel back Mike Hughes (IR for minimum 8 weeks) and Holton Hill (4 game suspension). Harrison Smith and Anthony Harris return as the starting safeties.

Prediction: If the new offense can click and they overcome the lack of cornerback depth at the start of then they have a legitimate shot at the division. I also expect Cousins to bounce back from last season. Regardless, anything short of a playoff appearance would be a disappointment.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

Offense: Drew Brees is back and hoping to get his team deep into another playoff run. He boasts weapons RB Alvin Kamara and WR Michael Thomas but the team needs to develop a solid third option and it might not be recently signed TE Jared Cook. The team also downgraded at running back by replacing Mark Ingram with Latavius Murray. They do boast one of the best offensive lines in football but will have to replace Pro Bowl C Max Unger with either free agnet signing Nick Easton or rookie Erik McCoy.

Defense: Cameron Jordan is one of the best defensive ends in the league but the team needs last year’s first-round pick Marcus Davenport to replace the departed Alex Okafor. DT Malcom Brown was signed this offseason to help the interior line. The linebackers are a solid group with Demario Davis, A.J. Klein, and Craig Robertson. The team needs to improve their pass defense, which ranked 29th last season, and hopes CB Marshon Lattimore and S Marcus Williams can bounce back after their sophomore slumps from last season.

Prediction: Brees could very well regress this season and the lack of a third playmaker on offense will be a major concern if either Thomas or Kamara get injured. However, if their young secondary improves and the offense at least maintains then there is no reason for them not to make another deep playoff run.

NEW YORK GIANTS

Offense: Despite shocking (and angering) fans by drafting QB Daniel Jones with the 6th overall pick, Eli Manning remains the starter. However, expect pressure to play Jones if/when Manning struggles. RB Saquon Barkley had a great rookie season and is going to be the focal point of the offense. Odell Beckham Jr. was traded away and the team replaced him with Golden Tate, who is going to miss the first four games due to PED suspension, leaving Sterling Shepard as the only dependable receiver in his absence. TE Evan Engram is another reliable target at least and the team did make improvements along their offensive line by adding G Kevin Zeitler in the Beckham trade.

Defense: This defense fell apart in the second half of last season and addressed their needs in the draft. They took DT Dexter Lawrence and CB Deandre Baker in the first-round and also took slot CB Julian Love in the fourth-round. The team also signed S Antoine Bethea, OLB Markus Golden, and acquired S Jabril Peppers in the Beckham trade but even still it’s a lot to expect from this many rookies and none of these free agent signings are impact players. The defensive line is the strongest position here and CB Janoris Jenkins is easily the best out of a weak secondary.

Prediction: This team will go as far as Saquon Barkley can take them as their passing game remains a question mark and the defense is mostly young and unproven. I don’t see this team winning more than 6 games. The real question is how soon Jones replaces Manning as the starter.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Offense: Nick Foles is now on the Jaguars so the team needs Carson Wentz not only to return to form but also stay healthy. If he goes down the team will turn to Josh McCown. The team also revamped their running back position by trading for Jordan Howard and drafting Miles Sanders in the second-round. WR Alshon Jeffery starts off the season healthy and is joined by free agent signing DeSean Jackson and another second-round pick in JJ Arcega-Whiteside. The team also plans to get second-year TE Dallas Goedert on the field more in two TE sets with Zach Ertz. There are plenty of targets for Wentz on this team. The offensive line remains intact from last season and added OT Andre Dillard in the draft as their first-round pick.

Defense: The defensive line as undergone a lot of changes from last season. DE Michael Bennett was traded and DE Chris Long retired. They also signed DT Malik Jackson and DE Vinny Curry, who left the team as a free agent in 2017. DT Fletcher Cox and DE Brandon Graham remain as starters to give the team a strong front four. The team has little depth and linebacker and already has injury concerns with Nigel Bradham and Kamu Grugier-Hill. The team needs 2017 second-round pick CB Sidney Jones to perform and for CB Ronald Darby to return to form after tearing his ACL in November because of little depth at the position. S Mike Jenkins remains a leader on defense.

Prediction: If Wentz can return to form then this team becomes a legitimate Super Bowl contender. If that does not happen then the team will have to rely on the back end of the defense to really step up huge and pick up the slack, something I do not see happening. Still, there is too much talent to not at least obtain a wild card birth.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

Offense: QB Jimmy Garopollo is going to be counted upon showing what he gave the team in 2017 rather than the few games he played last season before tearing his ACL. The team signed RB Tevin Coleman and good thing since Jerick McKinnon will require season-ending surgery. They drafted WR Deebo Samuel in the second-round and he has big play ability and might be counted upon sooner than later as Marquise Goodwin has been inconsistent and last year’s rookie Dante Pettis seems to have fallen out of favor with this coaching staff. TE George Kittle though is their top target and one of the best at his position in the entire league. Their offense line is decent enough with last year’s first-round pick OT Mike McGlinchey possibly taking the next step into becoming a Pro Bowl caliber player.

Defense: This team focused on the pass rush after making DE Nick Bosa the #2 overall pick in the draft and trading for DE Dee Ford. They join DT DeForest Buckner and could become a real force rushing the passer. The team has less depth at linebacker especially if Kwon Alexander is unable to bounce back after tearing his ACL this past October. And there is not much depth at cornerback but the team hopes that free agent signing Jason Verrett can stay healthy and give them something as Akhello Witherspoon struggled badly last season.

Prediction: It remains to be seen as to whether or not Garopollo can hold up for an entire season or if he can be the long-term answer regardless of his contract. He does not have much help besides Kittle but the team’s defense should be improved and the schedule is easy enough to where they could be able to become a .500 team or even sneak in as the final wild card team if everything goes right. Personally, I think this is a 6-10 team.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

Offense: Russell Wilson returns and comes off a season where he threw 35 touchdowns and just 7 Interceptions. Chris Carson will be the top running back but C.J. Prosise has looked great this preseason and could even supplant last season’s second-round pick Rashaad Penny as the backup. WR Doug Baldwin retired and leaves Tyler Lockett as the only proven receiver on the roster. D.K. Metcalf was drafted in the second-round but will miss at least the first week of the season. Their offensive line remains largely intact from last season and was much improved from 2017.

Defense: The team pulled off a blockbuster trade for DE Jadevon Clowney where they paid just pennies on the dollar. They also bolstered their pass rush by signing DE Ezekiel Ansah and drafted DE L.J. Collier in the first round. They also traded away DE Frank Clark in the offseason. Their starting linebacker trio of Bobby Wagner, K.J. Wright, and Mychal Kendricks are the heart of the team’s defense. The team lost S Earl Thomas in the offseason and is really shaky in the secondary, especially at cornerback.

Prediction: This team’s defensive front seven should be enough to become a playoff team and make up for the shortcomings in the secondary. As long as the running game improves and someone else can help Wilson as a pass-catching target this team could be a Super Bowl contender.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

Offense: New head coach Bruce Arians is hoping to resurrect Jameis Winston’s career. However, he will have to do it with a feeble running game with Peyton Barber and last year’s second-round pick Ronald Jones, who had a disastrous rookie season. Mike Evans is a great receiver and Arians believes Chris Godwin can become a productive receiver for him so expect him to get more targets especially with DeSean Jackson no longer with the team. O.J. Howard and Cameron Brate are a both good pass catchers. The offensive line was a problem last season and the team did not do much to change their personnel in the offseason.

Defense: Todd Bowles is now the defensive coordinator. The team also got rid of DT Gerald McCoy and DE Jason Pierre-Paul will miss time after getting into a car accident in the offseason. They did draft ILB Devin White with the 5th overall pick and he joins Lavonte David and Deone Buchanon to form a soild trio. The team’s Achilles heel is the secondary. They are very young and hopefully one or two players can stand out but it’s a stretch to ask much from them this season.

Prediction: This team will go as far as the offense takes them. If Arians is able to get Winston to reach his potential then they could be a .500 team. However, there is not enough talent on defense and lack of running game with a questionable offensive line plus playing one of the toughest schedules in the league to me says this team is finishing last in the NFC South and will draft in the top 10 in the 2020 draft.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS

Offense: Case Keenum is set to open the season at quarterback after a disappointing season in Denver. Behind him are Colt McCoy and first-round pick Dwayne Haskins who I’m sure the fans would love to see start. They have depth at running back with Adrian Peterson, Derrius Guice, and Chris Thompson but receiver is a real weakness with Paul Richardson as their current #1. Jordan Reed and Vernon Davis are a decent enough tight end duo. The main concern on offense, however, is the holdout of OT Trent Williams. It does not appear like it will end anytime soon and the hope for the team is they can work out a trade.

Defense: The team has a good young line with Daron Payne and Jonathan Allen but really need first-round pick Montez Sweat to develop into a pass rusher alongside Ryan Kerrigan. There is a weakness at inside linebacker though and the team brought in veterans Landon Collins and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie to help with their secondary, which is also not an area of strength.

Prediction: This offense is going to have to rely on two running backs with knee injury histories as they have arguably the worst passing game in the league and the holdout of their top offensive lineman. The defense is not strong enough to win games by themselves and I think this adds up to the team being one of the worst in the league.