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worldweaverofmediocrity · 8 months

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Isekai Quartet Reacts ch6

An: I'm using the OVAs for Subtitles of the songs only, because I believe they are non-canon. That and because I don't find the first one funny. If you haven't read the first interlude before this, go back and read it. Also just finished the isekai quartet movie as my new year's celebration (Dec 31 of 2022). And Re zero’s timeline just got a whole lot more complicated. Because they now have season 2 development/powers, and at the end both Otto and Garfiel join the school.

THAT’s excluding the only semi-cannon of Alec Hoshin (Re zero) appearance who made the nation where Anatasia came from and is her namesake. AND the only appearance of Glittering Angel Neko Nyan-san (Overlord) who is the Wind God of the Slane Theocracy. Because his hair is blue and blue is associated with wind in Marumya’s mind. AND Alec dropped even more fuel for the Subaru=Flugel/Emilia=Satella/Repeating World Cycle ala Hinduism Theories.

BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE HE DID! WHY CAN’T SUBARU AND EMILIA JUST BE THEMSELVES WITHOUT ALSO BEING A CHARACTER FROM PRE-CALAMITY! …or maybe Tappei is an extreme Legend of Zelda fanboy. But hey, we get solid confidence and character building from Ainz. So everything is a net positive. Overall, I enjoyed it more than Avatar: Way of Water. Also if anyone is decent at buddhism or zen buddhism, plz respond.

>.> don’t know if I’ll go back to rewrite but. I’ve decided that Cocytus lying down is too demeaning to him, so he’s now in an indented seat in the ground, with the floor reaching his chest.

Got a job on March 27 2023, so I now do eight hour work shifts for 3 days of the week. In the meantime, my other fic Isekai Heroes has become the longest running IQ fic clocking in over 10 chapters. I also completed all 22 volumes of Shield Hero for that story, and read more of the Overlord LNs for that. Currently I am in the process of reading the entirety of Overpowered Hero. …finished Overpowered, and wow it got very “Tonight’s Episode: The Author’s Barely Disguised (Public Humiliation) Fetish.”

Also Seiya is not a planet buster like Vegeta. When placed into a distorted world (thanks Goddess of Atrocity) that (he thought) had absolutely no impact on the true world of Geaebrande, he didn’t blow up the planet. So, (so far at least) all mentions of blowing planets up are hyperbole. Like Reinhard cutting/destroying the world and then recreating it as a side effect of Killing the Beast of the End.

As a side effect of having to constantly pause/I watched and rewatched this anime too many times thus none of the jokes are landing and I don’t know where I should have the characters be laughing.

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A series of irrigated grain paddies was shown. Frogs/another farm ambiance animal made their noises. Another bit of farmland was shown near what was presumably Kazuma’s house. A blurry computer screen was shown before Kazuma raised his hand and tugged on his sleeve.

“There we go…” Kazuma said.

The camera zoomed out to look down at Kazuma and his room. Many books/mangas were shown via their spine art from behind Kazuma and his dual monitor computer.

“I normally shut myself in at home, but unusually for me, today I made up my mind to go out.” Kazuma thought while more of his room was shown.

A closer perspective showed that there were game cases mixed in with the presumed manga. In addition next to his computer were two slimes from Dragon Quest, a magical girl, an anthro cat, a dog wearing sunglasses that might have been female judging by the placement of the flower on its head. An anthro pig next to a shank of meat.

“Why do you have those blue slimes?” Seiya asked. “Only Gaebrande has them.”

Kazuma turned to look him in the eye. “How did you miss the genre defining masterpieces known as Dragon Quest? They basically made a lot of the conventions of the Japanese RPG game.”

“That’s what I said!” Ristarte threw up her arms.

Seiya rubbed his nose. “What you said was [Ah, there’s still a Japanese person who doesn’t know what a slime is.], you didn’t name drop anything.”

“So you have heard of Dragon Quest?!” Ristarte twitched her head. “Then how did you not see the slimes, they are basically the poster figures of the Dragon Quest Franchise!”

The chat log scrolled by, unfortunately untranslated. Kazuma zipped up his tracksuit. Kazuma nodded to himself, picked up his backpack, and walked out of his bedroom.

“All to get my hands on the first-run limited edition-” Kazuma closed his door and the scenery changed to a bridge over a small valley. “Of a popular online game that goes on sale today.”

Time passed as we faded from back and to a faucet above a pond or puddle with tadpoles in it. A bus passed to reveal a happy Kazuma clutching the aforementioned game’s cover.

“A five hour round trip! I’m glad I was able to buy it.” Kazuma said.

I believe the main theme music is played with piano notes.

“In store exclusives, officials or not, really are playing dirty.” Kazuma commented, slightly glaring at the game he just brought.

Kazuma squinted as the sun blared its presence to all within its gravity well. “This sunlight is my worst enemy after three straight all-nighters.” Kazuma thought while using his hand to block the sun.

“Are you sure you got the right game? Because you should already be hallucinating by then.” Tanya asked.

“How the hell did your body not cave in at the first excuse for sleep like mine did?” Subaru asked.

“Considering there was a massive line, yes I am sure I got the correct game. The hallucination, you’ll see later. Regarding the sleep thing, sports drinks.” Kazuma answered.

Kazuma turned his back on the sunlight and staggered his way home. A highschool girl was walking towards Kazuma and a Truck was gaining ground.

“Time to get home and play the hell out of this.” Kazuma thought.

The girl was happily walking by looking at her cream-covered smartphone. Kazuma walked past her and moved his eyes to glance back at her.

“A girl from my highschool?” Kazuma asked himself.

“High school?” Raphtalia asked.

“Because of the sheer amount of stuff discovered in the Renaissance and Industrial Eras, we’ve had to group education into various age groups.” Naofumi said. “For Japan schooling starts as young as three years old in the Preschool, where the basic Hiragana script and other basic essentials are taught. From preschool we start with the compulsory and government paid public schools. Unless you are rich enough to afford a private school.

In elementary schools we learn a decent chunk of our knowledge considering it starts when we are 6 years old and goes on for 6 years. Though because it only reaches the titular elementary stuff not many organizations fund elementary level schooling and the government pays for over 90% of them. Then there is the final compulsory school for 3 years called the Junior High School. These are noteworthy because they have even fewer private schools than elementary schools and the fact that all of them require their own uniforms.

High Schools however require exams to enter and tuition for the three years that you are there. But do their best to apply the finishing touches to your education and prepare you to enter college where you can study to become lawyers or merchants and other ‘high society’ type positions.”

Emilia giggled. “That’s what I feel like my current education is.”

“Why do you think I am such a nagger at taking breaks, hm?” Subaru asked, left eyebrow raised.

Emilia bowed to his wisdom.

“The government paid for most of that education?!” Satoru said in his mind. “Perhaps mom wouldn’t have died if the government or corps paid for that.”

Kazuma and the music halted as he saw something offscreen. In the midst of the glaring sunlight, Kazuma saw Truck-Kun barreling through the fields directly towards the highschool girl.

“Look out! That truck’s going to-” Kazuma shouted as he pushed the girl out of the way.

Though Truck-Kun’s true form as a tractor did pass the screen as the camera rapidly filtered between all three members of this accident.

The more prospective members of the theater noticed the change.

“Oh good, he didn’t actually get reaped by Truck-kun.” Tanya thought.

“Why did the trophy for killing over ten thousand human players appear here?” Ainz thought.

Kazuma’s backpack leapt off his back, spilling the game he so desperately wanted. Leaving Kazuma, the girl, and his items hanging in the air in the supposed headlights. The cloudy blue sky was shown.

“Why would I choose now, of all times, to do something so out of character?” Kazuma asked himself.

The game case flipped open dramatically, spilling its contents. A dark purple/brown haired knight figurine, the manual, and the actual CD case all shown in the sunlight. The box had the title of Mrtiad or Myriad (with a sword replacing the r?) Swords II. The CD case fell down to reveal the figurine knight in the front. To the left was a blond haired person wearing a black blindfold and steel-gray armor. To the right was a blond woman wearing golden bikini armor. And behind them all was the stereotypical Old Man Detity.

DVD static played as it faded to white. More DVD screen tearing/static played as Kazuma jerked back into awareness. He was sitting on a red-cushioned chair which was on a very soft/low saturation chess board. Gray mist hung close to the ground, and faint spots of light were shown. Across from Kazuma was a white chair with a white nightstand next to it and a red book upon the night stand.

“Wait, this means that I, a literal skeleton-appearing undead, am the only one out of the main Protags to die?!” Satoru screamed in his mind.

Heels clicked as Aqua walked on screen. Stylishly showing off her sex appeal, though in the most modest way Konosuba will ever be.

“Satou Kazuma-san.” Aqua said elegantly as she walked past Kazuma. “Welcome to the afterlife.”

Megumin and Darkness just sat there resisting the sway of Aqua’s voice.

“That hair ornament, it's the molecular structure of water right?” Satoru questioned.

Those who knew what a molecular structure was twitched and looked at Aqua better.

Aqua merely had an insanely smug grin on her face. “The others I can understand, but you Kazuma? How you could miss the obvious for so long and you call me an idiot!”

Kazuma blushed heavily.

Those unaware of molecules deduced that it was the smallest instance of Water possible.

“Water is associated with purity and life, among other things. So she’ll definitely be the most troublesome of our fellow schoolmates, regardless of her personality.” Demiurge and Albedo thought. “Though I doubt she would be so foolish as to break a non aggression treaty that she offered. Through the wisdom of the Supreme Beings, we should have enough Water Breathing Rings to counteract any drowning attempts. …assuming her water doesn’t behave like acid to the undead and unholy, especially not Lord Herohero grade.”

“I doubt our ‘Divine’ Level equipment will hold up against an actual Goddess.” Satoru thought.

Mare frowned. “Would most of my spells have even worked on her? Petite Disaster will have worked anyways but that costs so much mana, and if that doesn’t work then I am useless damage wise.”

“Will her body fluids have the Holy aspect to them?” Shalltear thought.

“Please don’t be as insane as the other three Heroes.” the Shield Cast pleaded.

“So that's why her ‘complaint’ was about water.” The Re zero cast thought.

“Unfortunately, you passed away moments ago.” Aqua continued.

A lens flare-heavy blue cube rotated in place behind the nightstand as Aqua sat down. The camera looked at Kazuma from above Aqua’s head.

“Your life was a short one, but you are, in fact, dead.” Aqua said.

Aqua had her best 'Customer Service’ Smile applied.

“Just one question…” Kazuma started. “What about the girl I pushed out of harm's way?”

“She’s alive.” Aqua said.

Kazuma breathed a sigh of relief and placed a hand against himself. “Thank goodness.”

Kazuma’s eyes glittered in tears of relief. “That means my death wasn’t in vain.”

Aqua tilted her head in confusion, either hearing Kazuma’s thoughts or guessing from her knowledge of humans. Aqua’s legs were shown as she uncrossed them, the pussy flash/pantyshot never manifesting.

“Actually, she never would have gotten hurt,” Aqua said. “Even if you had never pushed her out of the way.” The soft angelic choir stopped.

Kazuma jerked his head upwards to look at Aqua, the music cut as well. “Huh?”

Aqua opened the red book and read. “That tractor was going to stop before it hit her.”

Kazuma leaned forward. “Huh? Wait a second.”

Emilia frowned. “Does no good deed go unpunished in this theater?” Emilia shook her head. “Don’t be so pessimistic, just because she didn’t need saving doesn’t invalidate the feelings behind Kazuma’s actions. …like I did with Subaru.”

Aqua curled into her recliner, cringing at what she did. Kazuma leaned over and fiddled with her hair, providing slight comfort for the both of them.

“She let out her actual personality and that’s why Kazuma took her down to my world, didn’t she?” Darkness and Megumin thought.

Aqua leaned closer, “What is it?”

Kazuma’s eyes vibrated as he struggled to comprehend. “[Tractor]?”

A loud rumble like Truck-kun going on an overpass played as a fade to white showed the scene that actually happened. A white and beige truck’s cargo trailer was shown in the distance. An old man in a wide brimmed khaki colored hat in gray and brown clothes, slowly driving his tractor. The girl blissfully on her phone, confident that the old man knew what he was doing.

“Yes, it was a tractor.” Aqua narrated.

Another flash showed the old man and girl waving at each other.

Kazuma leaned even farther forward. “Huh? Then what happened? Did I die by getting plowed over by a tractor?”

“No, you died of shock.” Aqua explained.

“How did you die from surprise, when medical shock is just a faulty blood flow.” Tanya thought.

A camera shutter sound effect played as Kazuma was shown on the pavement. His eyes blank, mouth wide and drooling, arms flailed in imagined pain.

“You mistakenly thought a truck ran over you.” Aqua narrated.

Kazuma jerked back, impacting his chair. “I died of shock?!”

Aqua held a hand up to her lips as she held in her first laugh. She collapsed back into her chair, hands futilely gesturing Kazuma to stop. Only to give in and let out a belly-clenching laugh. A massive pure hearted grin on her face and her knees bouncing from the force of her laughter.

“Yep, there’s the Aqua we know.” Darkness and Megumin said, hanging their heads.

Ristarte let out a deep sigh. “Are Satoru and I the only good-hearted divinities in this room?”

Aqua curled tighter into her ball of shame, shuffling herself to avoid Naofumi’s glare.

“Her humbling has yet to take hold of her, perhaps we could have served that role.” Albedo and Demiurge thought.

“Ah, false gods.” the military records, save Tanya thought.

“Right, going to practice my anti-’divine’ techniques on her, then Weaver.” Tanya thought.

Kazuma's eyes almost rivaled his corpse’s eyes in how much they were dead inside and utterly appalled at Aqua.

“I’ve been doing this for a long time,” Aqua wiped away a tear of pure joy. “But you’re the first human to ever die in such a bizarre way.”

“Because it’s a physical impossibility.” Tanya said. “Medical Shock refers to blood not reaching vital organs. And while sleep deprivation is rarely fatal, the fatalities don’t manifest as that. 24 hours without sleep makes your hand eye coordination worse, impaired judgment and decision making, altered perception, and just because nature is a cruel mistress, tremors/spasms in your limbs!” Tanya glared at Kazuma. “So, by staying up that long, you actively got worse at the thing you were trying to do.”

“Oi, it seemed like it was a good idea at the time!” Kazuma defended his past self.

Ristarte frowned, remembering some stories of the medical field. “Yeah that's what they always say on why there is an eel or glass bottle up their ass.”

A beat that sounded like cards being shuffled played. Aqua bent over her armrest, closer to the red book and laughed into her hand some more.

“I’ve never even met this girl before. What’s her deal?” Kazuma the neet blissfully unaware of Customer Service Jobs.

Kazuma hunched into himself out of sheer anger.

The old man, his presumed wife, and several police looking EMTs were looking at Kazuma’s passed out figure. His wet spot in the center of the camera’s view.

“You were so terrified that you’d be run over, you wet yourself.” Aqua explained through further laughter.

The hospital was shown with Kazuma’s ambulance in the drop off zone.

“You passed out and were taken to a nearby hospital,” Aqua said.

Four heads were barely visible through the fifth overhead light. The doctor in the upper left had a hand in front of their face, eyes closed like they were coughing. The nurse in the bottom left was doing the same at a different angle. The doctor in the bottom right was adjusting their glasses. The nurse in the upper right was the only one showing proper human compassion as demanded by their profession.

“And the doctors and nurses laughed at you as you had a heart attack-” Aqua said.

“You could have just said heart attack and medical malpractice.” Satoru suggested, rubbing his temples.

“And medical shock would just be a symptom of the heart attack, I suppose.” Beatrice said, also rubbing her temples.

Kazuma leaned fully back in his chair, covering his ears and futilely trying to kick away the bad news. “Stop! I don’t wanna hear it!”

Aqua got up and walked over as Kazuma repeated himself as futilely tried to shake the words out of his head. Aqua’s face slid next to Kazuma’s, hand held up to provide a conspiratorial shield. “Your family just rushed to the hospital, and now even they’re laughing out loud at the cause of death.”

“Oi.” Puck, the resident bad father, proclaimed his displeasure.

Megumin and Darkness, both being an older sister/cousin, frowned. Aqua curled even deeper into her ball of shame. Naofumi snapped his glare towards the screen.

“The hell!” Naofumi thought.

“Oi.” Albedo, the resident bad mother, proclaimed her displeasure. “Leave stuff for me to do.”

Ainz, the parent with no disciplinary bone in his body, merely breathed a deep sigh of disappointment into his hands. “This right here is what I am trying to avoid with my tomb.”

The rest of the room merely sat in disgusted silence.

Kazuma became a bobblehead out of sheer not wanting to know. “Stop! Stop!”

“Well…” Aqua flicked her hair and her Hagamoro dissolved into bubbles. “I’ve vented enough stress for now.”

Kazuma made a teary eyed angry face. “Damn her!”

The music started tinkling and the soft choir resumed.

“My name is Aqua.” the goddess finally introduced herself. “I’m a goddess who guides humans who die young to the afterlife.”

Kazuma attentively listened but was still marred by her asshole tendencies.

“You have two choices.” Aqua explained. “You can start from square one with a new life, or you can go to heaven and carry on like an old man.” Aqua’s boobs bounced as she bent over and raised her conspiratorial hand shield once more. “To tell you the truth, Heaven isn’t the dreamy place you all imagine it to be.” She said shyly looking around like she would be punished for speaking out.

“Huh?” Kazuma asked around Aqua’s pantyless booty.

“Not only is there no TV, there are no manga or games, either.” Aqua explained. “You don’t even have a physical body,” the camera left the booty shot to focus on Aqua’s mouth. “So you can’t do anything sexual, either.”

Kazuma, being a sexual person, had his face scarred with shock and disappointment, maybe even a hint of despair. The camera also felt despair and reverted to the previous booty angle.

“There’s nothing to do there but bask in the sun for all of eternity.” Aqua explained.

“What?” Kazuma voiced his displeasure.

Aqua got up in Kazuma’s face and did a miniature nod. “Yeah, you don’t want to go to a boring place like Heaven, do you?”

Kazuma, having fully converted into a neet and having his personal space breached, looked away and blushed. “Uh, right…”

Aqua got even closer to Kazuma’s face, providing ship fuel. “On the other hand, starting over from square one isn’t so fun, either.” Now their noses were roughly a centimeter apart. “On that note, I’ve got a great offer for you.” Aqua leaned back slightly, “You like games, don’t you?”

“Huh?” The sheer confusing mess that was Aqua made Kazuma forget about the Isekai Craze.

Aqua stood up to her full height, placed a hand over her heart, and stretched out her other arm to the max. Dramatic/talk show piano music played.

“That world, which has long enjoyed peace,” Kazuma raised an eyebrow at Aqua’s display.

Megumin and Darkness snorted.

“That was true roughly 700 years ago.” Megumin explained to the room. “Before our current Demon King was born and gained access to the Demon King Class.”

“Ah, so not a single terrible dynasty.” Zettour said, sighing as he comprehended the problem.

Megumin nodded. “Indeed the previous dynasty was founded by a fallen hero, so it's not even limited to the infernal races.”

The others winced as containment before neutralization just got harder.

“Would Flugel’s bones be able to contain the class, like they could for the Sloth Authority?” Beatrice thought to herself. “Or another world’s Flugel?”

“And why hasn’t that world experienced an industrial revolution and thus have easy access to an equalizer such as guns?” Ristarte smiled with sharp edges. “It's not because of your Heaven suppressing the knowledge needed for that, is it?”

Aqua turned to her with a supremely offended face. “The Mobile Fortress Destroyer pushed back the tech level. So there was an era of post industrialization, but sadly the Destroyer is one of, if not the only, piece of tech that still exists from that era.”

“So yes, you did by proxy.” the rest of the room thought.

“Wouldn’t there be a non-magical damage limit?” Shalltear asked, finger on her chin.

Shalltear’s lamprey form was shown riddled with arrows and various other weaponry, but was undamaged.“Oh, fuck you!” Visha said. “Why do you follow that logic?”

“Do it yourself, you coward.” Shalltear smugly replied while looking into Visha’s eyes.

“Eh, the Demon King does have a version of that, but it's weaker and we don’t have a convenient way of mass producing explosives.” Darkness said looking down to her left hip remembering her father’s lessons.

“Hm, would Dynamite and/or Napalm work on him?” Satoru asked, the nagging concern of technology outpacing magic reared its head.

“I think so, but again no way to manufacture those in sufficient quantities.” Aqua frowned and crossed her arms as she remembered her metaphysic lessons.

“As for the logic I was talking about, it means she can only be harmed by sufficiently magical things like silver or healing potions.” Vishia explained.

Use guns to explain the Skill Floor and Great Filter ideas. Tanya wrote in her notebook.

“Is being threatened by the Demon King’s Army.” Aqua continued.

The camera zoomed into Aqua’s face, tilted upwards to give an imperialist/gracious air to Aqua. “The livelihoods its citizens have worked for are being trampled by monsters.”

Aqua pivoted in place, moving her arms and putting on a despairing air. With a click an angelic stage light turned on and bathed Aqua in its glow, who was praising the sun with her arms in an upwards Y. “Everyone lives in fear of the Demon King’s Army’s merciless pillage and slaughter!”

Aqua’s hair jiggled and mimicked a dog’s tail wagging. “...Slaughter!

Kazuma gulped in nervousness. Aqua held her pose and smiled for another few seconds before dropping them to lean closer to Kazuma once more.

“Since that’s the sort of world it is, everyone is refusing to be reborn, so the population is declining because of infertility.” Aqua explained.

“If you can not grow new souls in mass. My world has literal piles of dead orphans that I had to go past to get to work. And said piles were new every week, if not every day.” Satoru wrote in his notebook to remind himself to offer Aqua.

“I see…” Kazuma lied about his comprehension.

Aqua had a cute angle pose before turning sideways and shrugging. “So we decided, [Why not send people who’ve died in other worlds with their bodies and memories intact?]-”

“That’s resurrection, not reincarnation.” Tanya was visibly trying to control her anger.

Aqua looked Tanya in the eyes and merely said, “Zen Buddhism.”

Tanya’s argument hitched and collapsed out of existence, causing a physical hiccup.

“Zen Buddhism is the second major religion of Japan and was primarily worshiped by the Samurai. It had a cycle of reincarnation, as in reborn in an infant body after dying, that you progressed in called Samsara. After so many lives full of dedication, you were supposed to reach Nirvana, Buddhism’s version of Aqua’s Heaven. But in Samsara you grow stronger with each life judged by how much you have achieved enlightenment.” Subaru explained once he realized that Tanya wouldn’t.

“Ah, so that's why you praised their timing. The Buddha is that religion’s god?” Ram asked, remembering his praise of the Buddha as she slipped into slumber when they were retrieving her foolish twin.

“Eh, yes and no, because if you reach sufficient enlightenment you can become your own Buddha and/or fuse with the Original Buddha.” Subaru explained, wiggling his left hand. “That and everything and everyone including the Buddha are all illusions, thus you want to break free by embracing nothingness and being true to yourself. At least that was in Zen Buddhism, in more Orthodox/the Original Denomination of Buddhism, Nirvana was simply the best afterlife (which functioned as rest stops in the cycle of reincarnation) that you could unlock.”

Ram slowly rubbed her temples. “If everything is an illusion, then nothing is.”

“Mostly it’s an existentialism thing but over all, Zen buddhism making sense died with the samurai at Shiroshima.” Tanya shrugged. “As for why I know the difference now, resurrection is one of the main tenets of Christianity, whose focal point of worship is Europe.”

“Ah, the wonders of sectoral differences.” Lergen said.

Ram and Cocytus scribbled in: Buddhism and it’s sects.

“What’s the point in sending me there if I’m just going to be killed?” Kazuma asked, visibly unsure.

“That’s why I’m doing you a big favor.” Aqua said from off screen.

A soft beat played as Aqua was shown once more with a hand gently raised.

“I’m granting you the right to bring any one thing of your choosing with you.” Aqua doomed herself to roughly a year and a half of struggle. Aqua crossed her arms and winked. “It could be a powerful weapon, or a tremendous talent.”

The two of them were shown from Kazuma’s book of the dead’s perspective.

“You’ll be able to redo your life with all your original memories.” Aqua said, raising her opposite hand and bobbling slightly towards Kazuma. “To top it off, you can bring one thing of your choosing!”

The camera slightly zoomed in as the world connecting portal swirled open behind Kazuma.

“And the people of the parallel will earn someone battle-ready to help them.” Aqua said. “Not a bad deal, don’t you think?”

Crystalline chimes played as Kazuma closed his hands.

“Um, I want to ask something.” Kazuma said.

Aqua was shown in a neutral but attentive pose.

“Will I be able to speak this other world’s language?” Kazuma asked.

A kazoo-like thing or synth something played as Aqua pulled up a booklet out of thin air.

“That won’t be an issue.” Aqua said.

We were shown the insides of the book, specifically a page titled Parallel World Reincarnation Guide and Contract. With the subtitle being: The First Ever Parallel World Guide! (For Shut-ins). Unhelpfully the book was mostly untranslated. Though there was an infographic of a soul either going to Heaven or becoming a hero after being run over.

Tanya sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Kazuma was shown hesitantly reading the book with Aqua guiding his vision. Aqua’s eyes were cut off by the letterboxing, putting her in a sultry and sinister light.

“With the kind support of us gods,” Aqua said. “We’ll overload your brain so you’ll be able to learn it instantly.”

Kazuma’s eyes widened as he heard that and found the fine print section. Said fine print being: Caution! Because the process of installing the ability to speak the parallel world’s language into the one who wishes to be reincarnated there (henceforth referred to as “Reincarnated”) requires instantaneous overloading of the hippocampus and cerebral cortex (henceforth referred to as “Brain”), Reincarnated’s Brain may, in rare cases, lose certain faculties (go “p**f”). Should this occur, according to Article 1296 Clauses 2 and 5 and Article 2051 Clause 3, Reincarnated may not hold those responsible for his reincarnation accountable.

The room just stared at Aqua.

“We do heal the injured.” Aqua defended herself, curling up slightly.

“Sheesh, I thought my Unified Divine Realm had the legalese.” Ristarte muttered.

“Why not an auto-translation effect?” Satoru asked with a finger raised.

“We do not have a god of languages.” Aqua said. “It was either this or having the Reincarnated unable to communicate at all. Unless we went with the actual reincarnation thing, but then the primary objective of the battle-ready unit is completely negated.”

Satoru sighed and lowered his finger.

“Teacher, what was the plan if Subaru couldn’t speak our language?” Roswaal thought, smiled sharp and eyes closed.

“As a side effect,” Aqua said as she used a hand to cover the fine print. “You might just go “poof” if you’re unlucky though.”

Tanya glared at Aqua. “I can see why your superiors kicked you out of Heaven.”

Kazuma was glaring at the fine print through Aqua’s hands.

“So all that leaves you to do is to choose a powerful ability or piece of equipment.” Aqua’s Customer Service Smile was back in full force.

Kazuma dragged his glare to meet Aqua’s closed eyes as the instrument stopped. “I just heard you mention something really serious. What do you mean, [poof]?”

Audio-visual sparkles radiated from Aqua’s Customer Service Smile. “I never said that.”

“Yes, you did.” Kazuma said as the sparkles faded.

Trumpets played as Aqua twirled in the air with a stupid amount of sparkles forming wings.

“Now, choose!” Aqua commanded as she bent over backwards.

Sheets of paper fell down around her. A sword with stony protrusions from its back edge was shown on a descriptive pamphlet, two shadowy-swords show that it was a weapon-type gift. The name of the sword was untranslated and its description was too small to read.

“I’ll grant you one power that is second to none!” Aqua said with the stone sword covering her shoulder.

A lizard-like beast flew in front of Aqua’s face, the ambient sparkles made the lizard appear to have glowing eyes. A different curved sword with a dragonic (?) head and sharp rocky scales served as the transition. Both of which were on pamphlets.

Kazuma looked around at the options he had on his hands and knees.

“Ah, good ol’ decision paralysis.” Satoru nodded in commencernation.

“This is my gamer’s intuition talking,” Kazuma thought. “But all of the abilities and equipment here are totally broken!”

“They do not look like they are unusable.” Emilia asked with her head tilted.

“Broken in this instance of gaming terms, means something ‘unfairly’ powerful.” Kazuma said, with his right index finger raised. “Some examples are: DND Divine Spellcasters being able to swap all of their known spells to any other spell their Patron knows with a 6-8 hour sleep. Thus they can adapt to any type of enemy and environment. Another is putting a ranged character who uses her allies HP pool count in her line to deal direct damage to the enemy player behind a melee character who deals Area of Effect Damage on attack, gains an additional attack per turn, and increases his max hp pool per enemy he kills.”

The room hummed.

“So Reinhard.” The Re zero cast except Subaru thought.

“Well, it’s a good thing and a shame that our Divine Spellcasters can’t do that.” The Overlord Cast thought.

Soft chimes played as Kazuma picked up one sheet and gazed at another.

“If I’m going to a world where magic exists, I absolutely have to try it out!” Kazuma thought.

Kazuma picked up the second sheet and started comparing them.

Satoru opened his mental mouth to ask about the details-

Aqua’s seductive lips tore a potato chip in half, the camera zoomed out from the vore-fuel to show Aqua completely bored.

“Hey, hurry it up.” Aqua said with half of the broken chip wiggling.

Soft percussion instruments played, giving a jovial country music vibe

“Allow him time to formulate his thoughts.” Satoru said, rubbing the bridge of his absent nose.

“No matter what you pick, it’s all the same.” Aqua said. “Nobody’s expecting much from a shut-in game otaku anyways.”

Kazuma squeaked/squealed like a more feral ape. “I-I’m not an otaku!”

Kazuma tossed the papers away, bowing down to his hands and knees. “And I died after leaving my house, so I’m not a shut-in, either!”

Repeating his movement several times, blowing away some of the papers.

Aqua licked her fingers, getting any non-visible chip dust off. Aqua looked completely bone tired as she played with her hair using only her index finger.

“None of that matters. Just hurry it up.” Aqua said. “I’ve still got lots more deceased humans to guide, you know.”

“And this is why you have more than one Judge of the Dead.” Ristarte said, rubbing her head. “Either that or time dilation and/or super speed.”

“For reference, on earth alone 106 humans die per minute and 6,392 per hour.” Aqua said. “While I am only in charge of Japan’s region and even then only their NEETs, that still is an unacceptable delay to my bosses. That is with the time dilation already applied.”

The room hummed.

“Damn her!” Kazuma thought.

Aqua still looked distinctly unimpressed. Kazuma meanwhile had sweat pooling on his face and wrinkles on the bridge of his nose.

“Getting all cocky just because she’s a little bit cute…” Kazuma thought.

Aqua merely had a smug smile at the confirmation of her thoughts.

Kazuma on his fists and knees sounded like a gorilla as he breathed heavily, overpowering the faint chimes. His eyes were shadowed as he plotted.

“[Hurry up and decide], huh?” Kazuma asked. “I’ll do just that, then.”

Kazuma stood up. “Pick one thing to bring to this parallel world, right?”

Kazuma stumbled under the weight of what he was about to do.

Aqua, slightly interested in where he was going, paused her eating of the chips. “That’s right.”

Before eating the chip in her hand anyways.

Kazuma’s hand was shown, the end of the track suit bright against the dramatically black room. It pointed straight forward.

“Okay, I pick you.” Kazuma said.

“Okay, In hindsight I should have seen that coming.” Aqua said.

Shalltear giggled, causing a slight ripple across the room.

“I mean my Heaven gave out monster summoning abilities before, so why not an entire goddess?” Aqua shrugged. “Especially one that was insulting to a sleep deprived and delirious boy.”

Aqua blinked, utterly adorable with the potato chip in her mouth. And utterly not comprehending what Kazuma said. The chimes returned as Aqua pushed in the chip and chewed. A loud horn played as the portal manifested beneath Kazuma’s feet. Aqua kicked her feet as she stood up.

“All right, stand there and don’t leave the magic circle-” Aqua was mostly out of her chair.

“What did you just say?” Aqua’s eyes widened.

The sound of an offscreen door opening echoed through the weird chime-heavy limbo. Aqua looked up to the forming magic circle above her. An Angel Woman descended out of the summoning circle. Flaunting her curves and a soft twinkling melody played.

“Where’s the metal?” Shalltear asked. “Angels should be metallic, except Victim.”

“Ah.” Zettour said, hand in palm. “They split the difference.”

On the left side were the biblical angels in all their eldritch beauty. On the right were the pretty boys and girls of the renaissance era, most of them had pastel colored wings in the stained glass depictions. Though notably on the bottom ring of the left side were normal human looking angels. The bottom was pushed up to reveal Yggdrasil’s Angels.

Kazuma coughed at the sight of the ‘biblically’ accurate angels. “Wait, Kirby, Bayonetta, Final Fantasy 7,and Neon Genesis Evangelion are accurate?! I thought NGE was just the stylization of Christianity spread like butter on toast over aliens.”

The non-Military Records crew just sat there for a few seconds comprehending Yahweh’s Angels.

“Yep, that’s definitely splitting the difference.” Filo said, nodding with a closed eye smile.

“So, if one wants to use angels, they would have to try really hard not to lean on Abrahamic Literature.” Demiurge said, his tail curled around his waist and its tip twitched in his lap.

Zettour nodded.

“Ah, this is where you tell the ‘Heroes’ about the Demon King’s Aura thing.” Kazuma said, left hand holding his forehead.

Aqua nodded.

Kazuma rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“We have heard your request.” Said the angel with wings at full spread and golden sparks falling in a shower around her. “I shall take over your job from here on out, Aqua-sama.”

“She’ll do a better job than you, not insulting the faux-customer.” Tanya said. [0]

Kazuma joined the chorus of Oohs as the golden shower faded.

“Huh?” Aqua adorably squeaked.

Another Isekai Magic Circle blossomed underneath Aqua.

“Satou Kazuma-san’s Wish complies with the regulations and has been accepted.” the Angel landed.

The magic circles spun, flared into blue light and made energy tunnels leading upwards.

Aqua glanced down at the circle. “Hey, what is this? Wh-What? You’ve got to be kidding.”

Kazuma looked at Aqua.

Aqua closed her eyes and tried to wave away the magic circle. “No, no, no! Come on, um…”

“This is not right!” Aqua threw her arms back, lost her pupils, and did the second instance of Aqua crying meme. “Taking a goddess with you is against the rules!”

Aqua pressed against the magic, squishing like a sea creature in an aquarium’s glass wall.

“It must be illegal!” Aqua pressed her face against the magic-glass. “This has to be illegal!”

“Oh, come on. It’s only the human world, you’ll be fine.” Naofumi said, eyes rolled before they settled into a glare.

Subaru and Shalltear coughed.

“You should be fine.” Naofumi corrected himself.

“Wait!” Aqua banged on the magic. “Wait!”

“Please have a safe trip, Aqua-sama.” The angel said. “Should you successfully defeat the Demon King, I will send someone to pick you up.”The angel smiled with her eyes closed. Aqua, with her eyes back to normal, dropped her hands to her hips.

“I may have the ability to heal since I'm a goddess,” Aqua said, placing her hands on her chest. “But I have no fighting ability to speak of! There’s no way I can beat the Demon King!”

Aqua gripped her head in exasperation before she was lifted off her feet.

“Hey, wait!” Aqua cried out as she looked to the ground growing distant.

Kazuma chuckled over Aqua’s booty.

“How does it feel to get dragged away with the guy you treated like a total idiot?” Kazuma asked.

Kazuma with his hair in hentai protag mode chucked once more. His hair parted to reveal one eye as he pointed at Aqua.

“You’ve been designated as the one thing I’ll be bringing along,” Kazuma said, hands moving into a megalovania posture. “So if you’re a goddess, use your godly powers or whatever to make my life as easy as possible!”

“You know, a lot of things make sense if you are following what Kazuma asked of you, however subconsciously.” Darkness rubbed her chin.

Aqua, Kazuma, and Megumin raised an objection finger before going over their memories and hung their heads.

“No!” Aqua cried and hugged herself. “I don’t want to go to a parallel world with a man like this!”

Aqua cried once more causing Kazuma to laugh in mock-sadistic glee. The angel’s wings extended, casting off cosmetic feathers.

“Brave hero, I pray that of the great many prospective heroes,” the angel said with extended arms and her feathers falling down around her. “You will be the one to defeat the demon king.”

The angel’s skirt flapped in the wind, revealing that she too had no panties. Nor genitalia, if she did it was hidden by a light beam.

“If you do so, we shall grant any wish you desire as a gift from the gods.” the angel revealed.

“Whoa, for real?!” Kazuma jerked in his beam.

“Wow, an actual reward.” Naofumi smirked. “How lucky for you.”

“We. Are. Not. Parasites!” Aqua wiggled in her seat. “We’re symbiotes, close yes. But not the same.”

Aqua leaned forward enough that her head completely obscured Kazuma.

“That’s my line!” Aqua cried.

“Now, go forth on your journey!” The angel ignored her superior.

The blackness at the end of the tunnel instantly shattered into blue squares, blue and green circles, and a white light at the center. The angelic choir resumed as Kazuma laughed as he was vacuumed into the light. Aqua’s despair-ridden face flew in from behind the camera.

“No!” Aqua shouted.

Which caused Kazuma to sadistically laugh again. Everything dissolved into a screen of white before the blue sky and fluffy clouds were shown. One of the Angel’s feathers floated down from the sky. Said feather gently landed on a shallow stream of water, which caused small ripples above the pebbles on the crook’s bottom. Horns played as the camera zoomed out to show a woman in a purple witch/wizard outfit and a green shirted man crossing a cobblestone bridge.

By the bridge was a low-detailed fisherman whose line glinted in the sunlight. A man’s laughter echoed from somewhere as the camera changed to a wagon pulling away. Which revealed Kazuma and Aqua fully intact and mature. Aqua hung her head and hands in front of her thighs. Kazuma stood beside her in a confident but neutral pose with his fists on either side of his hips.

Belzerg: Axel, The Town of Beginners, appeared before them in a blue text box above their heads. With a bit-style sound effect chime and a swirling symbol around the Otherworld’s characters for Axel.

Tanya narrowed her eyes. “Hm, depending on how you write that. The name Belzerg could be read as Berserk.”

“We are not backwards hillbillies!” Darkness reflexly defended her nation. “We are basically the only reason why the world hasn’t been conquered yet, especially because we are the only nation whose borders are touching the Demon King’s borders. Our two Great Noble Houses have been assimilating power for countless Demon Kings, if they only manage to kill Generals and not the Demon King themselves. The Dustines Family assimilated the defensive abilities and the Sinfonia Family assimilated the offensive abilities. Thus they are called the House of the Shield and the House of the Sword respectively.”

“Ah, so their version of the Slane Theocracy is actually doing their jobs.” The Overlord cast thought. “Lucky for that humanity.”

“Thus, if I am following your logic correctly, then those who actually slay a Demon King are assimilated into the Royal Family.” Filo said. “They were the ones you were talking about during the power level discussion.”

Darkness nodded. “That and I can’t hit anything, so I can’t ‘grind’ for Kazuma.”

“Hm, I guess I should count Jaldbaoth lucky that Rampossa didn’t have the Belzerg-style of strength,” Demiurge thought. “What is a demon to a king? Especially considering there is a precedent with the Legemon. I might have needed to break out my true strength, or just have one of my Evil Lords take place in the physical battles.”

“So not hyperbole of the Warmaster,” Seiya thought. “How lucky for that world, to not have only one hero capable of saving them.”

“I might actually respect Trash if he could ‘put me in my place’, but that chance has passed.” Naofumi thought. “Especially if he doesn’t use that strength against the Waves.”

Kazuma blinked when Darkness nodded and turned to Aqua with a sharp smile. “I pulled you down before you could say that, I'm guessing?”

The town’s background muttering resumed, as we zoomed into Kazuma’s face. Who took a deep breath and blinked, before the camera turned to show a street.

“It’s a parallel world.” Kazuma narrated.

A girl in a sun hat and red dress was shown chasing two ducks/white birds past two gossiping women and two men bargaining over fruit prices.

“Wait, you have children?” Satoru asked.

“Yes, hence why it's difficult to motivate the others into fighting the Demon King.” Aqua said, hands folded in her lap. “If the Demon King projected a massive field where kids aren’t born at all, It would make my job stupidly harder yet paradoxically extremely easy.”

“Well, I’m glad that the demon king can’t do that.” The rest of the room generally thought. “Nor is he just removing the reproductive organs all together.”

“Hey, this really is a parallel world!” Kazuma continued to narrate over the girl’s misfortune.

The two pairs of adults turned their heads as the girl and her birds exited stage right. A blacksmith, his wife, and two kids who were playing a game with a stick were shown. Two women close to a barn and thus fuzzy were in the background chatting.

“W-Wait, I’m really going to be using magic.” Kazuma said.

A group of adventurers appeared, at the very left was a dark elf man dressed with armored plates and a green tunic. Next to him was a human woman in a black/beige horned helmet, beige pauldrons and boobplate. With a red and white leotard, her sleeves were black with red gloves and elbow bands. Which held beige arm plates over her elbows. Her legs were the same, save for the fact that her legging only came up to her mid thighs.

A huge sword hung off her hip, which was underneath the woman’s extended hand. The wizard in purple robes and a black bodysuit with a navel window stood next to her. Their blue-tinted white hair was underneath a purple hat. The wizard’s tiny glasses did not prevent the wizard’s obvious attention from showing. Behind the wizard was a man who similarly exposed his guts with a black and red jacket. A thick brown belt with a red and gray loin cloth over green paths completed his ensemble.

A pair of two adventures had passed in front of the five, with the second woman in red obscuring a woman in green. The red thief-like woman left revealing that the green woman had brown hair and wore a two-tone purple bodysuit.

“Why is there an Elf?” Megumin asked. “Axel hasn’t had one in decades, mostly because the Elves and other such races have their own training spots. Hence why they just skip to the front lines.”

“If they even send help at all.” Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin thought. [1]

“Elves are basically a synonym for fantasy back on earth.” Kazuma said. “Same with Dwarves, Dragons, Demons, Angels, Gods, and Giants.”

The others hummed.

“And going on adventures in this world from now on?” Kazuma asked himself, smiling in glee.

Cheerful notes played over Aqua’s gasping.

“Goodbye, shut-in life!” Kazuma assumed an assertive stance.

“So what happened to not being a hermit?” Beatrice asked. “Or was that just a deflective denial, I suppose?”

Kazuma hung his head. “It was the latter.”

“Hello, new world!” Kazuma praised the sun for a brief moment.

Kazuma let his arms down before raising his right fist in a confident stance. “I can really start anew in this world!”

Aqua gasped before she weeped as she rubbed her head with both of her hands. Kazuma glared at her out of the corner of his eyes. He turned his head to properly stare at her in dismay.

“Hey, shut up.” Kazuma demanded.

Carnival-like notes played as Aqua clawed at her bangs that hung in front of her face.

“What am I going to do if everyone thinks I’m friends with a crazy woman?” Kazuma asked.

“More importantly, isn’t there something you’re supposed to give me at a time like this?” Kazuma asked.

“I do believe the opportunity to gain items has passed.” Satoru said, sarcasm audible.

The others nodded as Kazuma blushed.

Kazuma raised his hands to point at himself, a smug smile on his face. Aqua’s weeps had faded into near inaudibility.

“Look at what I'm wearing. I’m in a tracksuit.” Kazuma complained.

Kazuma pointed his hands to the sides, closed his eyes, and still had the smug smile.

“Here I am in a fantasy world, and all I have is a single tracksuit.” Kazuma complained.

“And a literal goddess.” Subaru said.

Kazuma’s blush intensified as he sank into his chair.

Kazuma opened his eyes and let his hands fall down to his hips.

“Isn’t there a bare minimum of starter equipment I should-” Kazuma was interrupted by Aqua grabbing his collar.

Kazuma, for a single frame, had his eyes shrink as Aqua shook the annoying boy. The camera however chose to focus on Aqua’s weeping face, her open mouth had a cute flesh fang. Aqua, and by extension the offscreen Kazuma, rocked back and forth for a few seconds. Then with a bit-like sound effect a pause screen appeared over Aqua’s face. Underneath the giant English letters of PAUSE bracketed by hyphens, was a smaller English sentence of Press Start Button.

This pause screen continued for a few seconds as even the music stopped.

“Ah, I wish I could just do that and take a few moments to gather my thoughts.” Subaru thought.

A different bit-type note played as the video resumed with Aqua breathing in. The two of them were shown between a mother with her son and a man looking at the last two people to be Isekai’d from Aqua’s Heaven.

“Wh-What the heck?! Stop! Stop it!” Kazuma pleaded with Aqua.

The mother turned around with a face of dismay as she pulled her shocked son away from the first feud of the pseudo-couple.

“I get it, okay?! I’m sorry!” Kazuma said.

Kazuma placed his hands on Aqua’s shoulders, which stopped her from rocking his world any further. …for now.

“If you hate it that much, then you can go home.” Kazuma said.

Kazuma pushed the goddess away, hung his left arm behind his hip, and readjusted his collar with his right arm.

“I’ll figure out the rest on my own.” Kazuma said.

“What are you talking about?” Aqua threw her arms back, causing her to adopt an arrow-like pose. “I’m in trouble because I can’t go back.”

Aqua folded her hands in front of her chest. “What do I do? Huh? What am I gonna do?”

“If you can’t go back because you are currently classified as [Kazuma’s Item], then the most logical course of action is securing money.” Zettour said. “Healing is, was, and will continue to be a dependable source of income for those capable. Construction is also a thing, so too with mercenary work.”

“We went with construction.” Aqua answered.

The others hummed

Aqua’s hands fell to her sides as she wept once more.

“What am I supposed to do from now on?” The Goddess of Tears cried.

Kazuma’s low detailed and nonchalant look was wasted on the crying goddess. With a speed streak-like sound effect Kazuma raised a hand to gain Aqua’s attention.

“Hey, calm down, Goddess.” Kazuma commanded as he lowered his hand once more. “Times like these call for guilds.”

Kazuma placed a hand on his chin. “Going to places like that to gather intel is what you do in RPGs.”

Aqua leaned back in subdued surprise as Kazuma pronounced the entire words of the RPG acronym.

“Huh? You’re supposed to be some game otaku shut-in.” Aqua asked. “Why are you so reliable?”

“Someone has to pick up your slack.” Puck said.

Aqua joined her pseudo-spouse in the blush and chair sinkage departments.

Kazuma ignored her comments as he turned away.

“All right! Let’s go, Goddess.” Kazuma said.

“Hey, wait.” Aqua’s train of thought had drowned already.

An electric string instrument played as Aqua’s ass overtook the camera once more.

“Why this camera angle again?” Albedo asked, fists slightly curled.

“This is my role, not yours!” Albedo thought.

“I am the closest thing my pantheon has to a Romantic Love Goddess, and as you can heard by the declining birthrate problem, I am a terrible one.” Aqua said. “Can’t even be a proper Lust/Fertility Goddess.”

Aqua scribbled into her notebook: Teach Subaru Escape Artistry, Parkour, and Breakdancing.

“I really hope that the sexual stuff gets toned down in the next episodes.” The protags except Kazuma thought.

“You can call me “Goddess” if you like,” Aqua narrated over her hipsway. “But when you can, call me “Aqua”, so we don’t cause a commotion.”

“I have the slightest suspicion that being undetected has already passed.” Shalltear said with lidded eyes.

“I get it.” Kazuma said, the camera changed to the back of his head. “If you’re a goddess, wouldn’t you know where we can find an adventurer’s guild.”

Aqua blinked as Kazuma turned his head to stare her in the eyes.

“I’m a goddess.” Aqua said. “There’s no way I’d know about every little lowly place like that.”

Aqua blushed.

Aqua leaned her head, which caused her hair to wiggle as she saw Kazuma’s disappointed and disgusted face.

“This girl’s useless.” Kazuma thought.

“Useless as in actually useless, or uselessly like Subaru?” Ram asked with lidded eyes and crossed arms.

Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin raised a finger and opened their mouths to defend their viewpoint. Before they closed their mouths and lowered their fingers as they remembered how Aqua played her parts.

“Useless like Subaru.” Aqua answered for them.

Ram saw Subaru blush and tried to fold into himself. However he was stopped by Emilia, what caught the passive half of the Oni God’s attention was the faint glimmer of disbelief.

“Do I never compliment him at all?” Ram thought. “Not even backhanded ones?”

Ram hid her glance to her aggressive twin.

“I really hope that he never committed self harm, or far worse suicide, from my barbs. Ram clutched her elbows. “They would be the final coin in the pouch if my little sister actually followed through on her impulses.”

Ram took a quiet breath through her nose. “No, Subaru said that he was only questioned by Rem. So, she must have restrained herself. It's a waste of energy and time to ponder such depressing possibilities that never would and/or did happen. He does not act like he is, or ever was, afraid of us. …which her impulses would definitely make him.”

The screen shifted to show Axel from above. Right above the town was a large forest, where the Tranquility Queen resides. Smaller sections of woodland surrounded the town, only broken up by green fields. The light brown rooftops that formed human civilization had claimed 97% of the protected lands inside the massive wall. A few bits of the remaining kand were fields or lawns, most of the rest were small pockets of trees. But the largest non-human feature of the town was the river that curved in the middle, which formed a spoon or a bowl.

“Thank you for your business.” a merchant said while he handed a large slab of meat to a mother.

The mother’s youngest was safely strapped to her back and blissfully asleep. She had four other kinds besides her of indeterminate age. The second youngest, and the closest to the mother’s purple-like skirt was a girl with her hair tied into twin tails. The presumed third youngest had a green shirt on and an index finger on his lower lip, eyes firmly glued to the Capital A Anime Stick of Meat.

The child with the largest head merely had eyes for their mother. While the child right in front of the vase, which was presumably for water storage, had his arms behind his head. A purple scarf/collar over his cyan shirt. This boy’s eyes merely had attention for his youngest sibling or the comically small shopping basket his mother had.

“No, you’re not going to derail this by going into how purple dye was so expensive that it became a synonym for royalty.” Tanya thought as she rubbed her temples. “Nor will you do the same for the other dyes that should have been impossible for that era’s tech level. Excluding magic. What’s next, this world’s female underwear industry has access to modern elastics and/or a substitute, thus the girls would be wearing stuff that is closer to 20th and 21st century panties than the historically accurate Braies which were more like shorts that fell down to the mid thigh.”

Megumin crossed her legs as she felt a phantom draft.

“Thank you.” The mother said as she smacked her infant with the Stick of Meat. “Up we go…”

The infant thankfully was too asleep to cry out in shock or pain.

Kazuma and Aqua appeared before a large building, which had an announcement tower in the back. Above the front door sat a bird-like symbol. On their left was a green pillar and on their right was a purple pillar. Behind them were more merchant stalls and their customers. Another 8-bit style ding played as a brown bar extended itself across the screen, above it stood the label Adventurer’s guild.

From the perspective of the door, both the human and goddess had silly looking faces.

“Looks like this is the place.” Kazuma said.

Something went bang the camera which startled a hiccup out of Aqua.

“Scary!” Aqua said as they climbed the stairs.

The door swung open off screen as the camera decided to show the …emblem of Belzerg (or the Adventurer's guild) over the doorway, at a tilt. Either way, the upper part of the emblem had a bird with its wings fully unfurled, two V sections connected the wings to the main body of the bird. Which fanned out to an upside-down omega symbol for the tail.

“Welcome!” A blonde barmaid said as she twirled towards the door with 4 fuzzy Nereoid Drinks in her hand. “If you’re here to eat, please take any open seat.”

The camera showed Kazuma and Aqua unprepared for the level of prep in the barmaid’s voice.

“If you need job guidance, head to the counter inside.” the barmaid continued reading off her mental script.

The barmaid turned and walked off the right side of the screen. Aqua merely stared at the bubbly while Kazuma raised his hand.

“Thank you.” Kazuma obligately followed his own mental script for social interaction at a public place.

The camera turned to see …indoor lamp posts. A sign or plinth that had no writing at all but three pink circles, eight yellow pyramids arranged into two pyramid shapes, and two pink dots in two pyramid shapes.

Two men in dark colored clothing tapped their drinks together, their tablemate hunched over his food. Seems like they had some sort of bird, while the bearded yet bald man had the addition of cake. A red haired barmaid carried more food past the three men. Behind the drinks was an oak-like load-bearing pillar with dark red and dark green ribbons wrapped around it. The original barmaid walked past the table in her pinkish heels.

She stepped aside to reveal a man in plate armor looking up at a woman in a sports bra and battle panties. More potted plants broke up the monotony of the tavern.

Tanya mentally groaned at the sight of the battle panties and the elastic industry that it eluded to.

On one of the ribbon clad support pillars hung a dragon(?)’s skeleton. Around a horizontal support pillar was a wheel that might have served as a clock, if it rotated. The entire tavern was shown from the back, which revealed the statue of a hero, presumably one of the Belzerg Royalty and/or the dragon slayer underneath the skeleton. Another one of those odd plinths was on the opposite side of the statue’s feet.

Closest to the camera were a red head female mage talking to her melee party member. On the sides of the ceiling were banners detailing either the Mobile Fortress Destroyer or the founding of Belzerg. Above the Adventurer’s Info Desk had the statue bust of a Lizard Runner. In front of Kazuma and Aqua (behind them from this camera view) was the Barbarian Shopkeep that was only made canon in the Dust Spinoff Novels.

Kazuma hummed as he took in the atmosphere with a smirk on his face.

“Hey!” The barbarian called. “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

“You really wouldn’t have, and if you did. I would be concerned for you.” Subaru said.

Aqua squeaked as her pinprick eyes saw the bearded barbarian’s gaze. Kazuma, still in his sleep deprived apathetic mood, had no reaction. Said barbarian raised a finger to point at them.

“And what’s with the weird clothes?” The barbarian asked

“Oh,” Kazuma walked up to the barbarian. “We’ve actually come a long way, and we just got into town.”

Kazuma placed an assertive hand onto the table and his other hand on his hip. His eyes closed as he paused for one dramatic second.

“I want to become an adventurer to fight the Demon King’s Army, too.” Kazuma opened his eyes and relied on his Protagonist CharismaTM.

The barbarian breathed through his nose before he closed his eyes.

“Is that right, you reckless punk?” the barbarian said.

The barbarian twirled around and adopted the Crazy Eyes Pose (the one where an eye is normal sized and the other is widened).

“Welcome to the gates of Hell!” The barbarian said before he hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “If you’re lookin’ for the guild admission desk, it’s over there.”

Thus Kazuma and Aqua walked past the statue of the Founder of Belzerg.

“Hey.” Aqua said, which caused Kazuma to halt.

Kazuma turned his head over his shoulder with a hum.

“How can you make up a story like that on the spot?” Aqua asked.

“Well, it is the truth.” Satoru said, head slightly tilted to the side. “Just a bit farther than that barbarian understood.”

The room nodded.

“Listen, Aqua.” Kazuma assumed a lecturing tone.

“Okay.” Aqua hummed.

Kazuma raised a hand to seemingly hold the statue’s sword tip. “Today we’ll register with a guild and find a place to stay the night.”

“G-Got it.” Aqua nodded her head and raised her hands in front of her chest. “I don’t know anything about games, but I guess that’s how it works in worlds like this, right?”

“By which I meant, I have no first hand experience playing the games.” Aqua explained. “All I knew was observing their world and reading from the books of the dead.”

Kazuma raised his hand even further to directly point at Aqua. “Exactly. All right, let’s go.”

The pseudo-couple dropped their arms and walked off.

“Oh, wait.” Aqua muttered with her knife-hands framing her booty. “You seem like such a capable guy.”

The camera changed to a front view of both Kazuma and Aqua.

“Why were you a shut-in otaku with no friends or girlfriend before?” Aqua asked.

“Did you not just read a book that detailed his entire life, or was that book merely how he died?” Satoru asked.

Aqua blushed and hung her head.

Kazuma grunted and gritted his teeth at that.

“Why did you seclude yourself every day and act like such a shut-in NEET?” Aqua asked.

Kazuma gritted his teeth even more before he half turned towards Aqua and pointed an accusatory finger towards her.

“Stop calling me a shut-in NEET, you bitch.” Kazuma proceeded to escalate the situation. “Don’t lump “shut-in” and “NEET” together.”

“Well, in the mid 2010s, they did become basically synonyms.” Ristarte said. “Along with NEET becoming a synonym for utmost laziness.”

The rest of the room hawed.

Thankfully his outburst produced no reactions. Specifically the next frame was a mid-back length red haired mage in a bowler(?) hat and a dark haired warrior sitting at a bar. The bartender merely shook his tumbler and produced a soft clanging sound that signaled that there was ice in them. The mage’s staff sat next to her and conveniently covered the menu.

The next frame showcased Luna the receptionist in her alcove, the camera specifically panning up past her large tits to showcase Luna’s dark yellow hair and amber colored eyes.

“Hello. What can I do for you today?” Luna asked, firmly in her customer management mode.

The camera zoomed out to showcase the three other desks, though Luna was the only receptionist on duty. At desk number three, desk number one was against the wall to the right. There were two different signs framing this help area, their text too blurry to translate.

“Um, we’d like to become adventurers.” Kazuma said.

“I see.” Luna’s autopilot brain replied.

Luna closed her eyes and smiled. “In that case, you’ll first need to pay the registration fee.”

The camera showed Kazuma smiling with his eyes closed, not processing anything. Aqua stood by a support pillar. The Founder’s statue and its red caper separated the two.

“Sure, Sure…” Kazuma said.

Kazuma’s very tired neurons fired and transmitted the information gathered by his ears to his cerebral cortrex.

“Huh?” Kazuma opened his eyes as he stopped smiling. “Registration fee?”

Kazuma turned his head towards Aqua.

“Do you have any money?” Kazuma asked.

Aqua shook her head in the negative, her mouth still an adorable tiny dot.

“You dragged me here without any warning.” Aqua reminded Kazuma. “Of course I don’t.”

Kazuma had stress sweat all over his despairing face. Luna still had her autopilot brain active and her hands neatly clasped each other.

“This girl’s useless…” Kazuma blamed everyone but himself.

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when you don’t give prep time.” Seiya said, glaring at Kazuma.

Kazuma shrunk into his chair. “Oh come on, I just got the courage to sit back up properly! I mean, as much properly you can be in a recliner chair.”

The tavern was shown from above as a barmaid walked past two fully seated tables. Kazuma and Aqua were sitting in the loneliest corner by the window. Kazuma was shown alone before a reddish-brown haired barmaid came up to the table.

“Are you ready to order?” the barmaid asked the depressed pseudo-couple.

“Um, I’m still thinking about it…” Kazuma said.

The barmaid sighed as she turned away, holding her clipboard to her chest.

“Please take your time.” the barmaid's autopilot brain replied.

The heads of the two isekai’d were shown. Well more specifically their eyes and noses, or at least Kazuma’s when he looked up and across to Aqua.

“Hey, what should we do?” Kazuma asked. “We’ve already hit a roadblock.”

A circular shield with a cog wheel on the outer rim, a bumpy-flower like ring just inside of the cog wheel, and inside of the flower was a plus (or cross if one wanted to ascribe more Christianity than was necessary) which had two swords that peaked out at diagonal angles, and formed a blunt 8 pointed star of chaos. Was shown over their table, high up on the wall.

“Normally we’d get a minimal amount of equipment and enough to cover basic living expenses, at least.” Kazuma continued to complain. “This is totally inhospitable.”

Kazuma shrunk even further under Puck and Tanya’s gazes. Satoru had a bemused tint in his wavering flame eyes. Naofumi, Raphtalia, and Filo directed their deadpan stares towards the 16 year old. Rista had gripped Seiya’s mouth closed and pulled his head towards the screen.

Aqua raised her head to stare Kazuma in the eyes.

“There goes your reliability, just like that.” Aqua said. “Well, I guess it was inevitable. You are a shut-in NEET.”

“Don’t call me a shut-in NEET.” Kazuma glared at the goddess.

Aqua placed her hands on the table and pushed herself up.

“Fine. I guess it’s my turn now.” Aqua said as she adopted a confident hand on hip pose.

Kazuma looked attentive at the goddess’ new found confidence.

“Let me show you what a goddess can do!” Aqua said.

Aqua waved goodbye as she walked away to horns playing. Thus Aqua walked up to an old man calmly drinking his beverage of choice. Hand grabbed the barrel-like mug from the side, the other hand supported the drink from below. She stopped right before the camera and treated the audience to another shot of her booty. Which perspective wise was the same size as the man’s torso.

“You there, priest! State your denomination!” Aqua said, visible hand on her hip.

“Hm?” Went the old man as he opened up his eyes.

Aqua had a cute and confident grin on her face, hands on her hips with the backs of them pressed against her Shrodinger’s Dress. Flutes played.

“I’m Aqua.” the goddess introduced herself. “Yes, the object of worship for the Religious Cult of Axis: The goddess Aqua!”

Aqua blinked as she raised a hand to point at the priest.

“If thou art one of my followers…” Aqua said.

Aqua bowed from a side view, the old man priest had a bit of nervous sweat rolling down his face.

“It’d be a huge help if you could lend me some money!” Aqua pleaded in a rapid squeaky voice.

“I’m in the Eris Sect, actually…” the priest busted the goddess’s bubble.

Aqua instantly snapped into a shocked face with far more nervous sweat than the priest and the bridge of her nose/between her eyes became red. The flutes stopped with a bang as even Kazuma knew how far Aqua shoved her foot down her throat. His eyes were mere pinpricks and his jaw fell open. …if he wasn’t just now realizing that Aqua wore nothing under her dress in the next camera angle.

All was silent enough for a woman’s giggles to echo through the tavern which overlapped with the theather’s

“Oh, you are? I’m sorry.” Aqua said in a quiet/dead tone.

She turned around as she rubbed her head, but the priest raised his hand.

“Oh, young lady, are you with the Axis Cult?” the priest’s brain jiggled into motion. “The relationship of the goddesses Aqua and Eris is that of Superior and Subordinate.”

“The difference is the ‘quality’ of faith and what we embody.” Aqua said. “For Eris as the Goddess of Luck and Commerce, every action of probability such as shooting an arrow into a crowd of enemies, will empower her. Of course more specialized things such as trying to infiltrate a mansion or dice games will provide more faith towards her, especially if something valuable to more than the thief and current holder is at stake.”

Everyone else’ eyes widened, mentally filling in why Aqua is a senior goddess. Water, after all, was a widely observed physical thing and essential to most life. While Luck and Commerce were only things that sapients could spend time thinking about once their essentials were met. Or in the case of luck, bemoaning their lack of luck because they couldn’t fulfill their essential needs.

“Oh no, you’re the collective consciousness type of deity.” Satoru said, voicing everyone’s thoughts, head in his hands..

“Ah, so that’s why my village has so many sealed detities around it.” Megumin rubbed her chin. “It is easier than killing or converting everyone of their disciples-dreamers. Let alone actual battles to the death with the detities. Which has the potential of fragmenting said deity and/or embedding the ‘idea’ of them into every viewer.”

“So If I want to keep her around and she loses all of her followers, then I would have to personally worship her?” Kazuma thought, eyes on his hands fiddling in his lap.

“I wonder if there is an analogue to Megumin’s clan in my world.” Demiurge thought, left hand on chin as his right hand wrote mental scribbles on the chitin of his tail. “That way I can give Jaldaboath the goal of unsealing his master. Assuming that my plan of making Jaldabaoth the Demon King falls through. But if Jaldabaoth has a god that he ‘answers’ to, then that will increase Lord Satoru’s Momon Persona when he defeats said god. I’ve already implanted the Tri-Armagedden Evil Statue as the reason for the Demonic Disturbance. So I can just say that this god made that statue.”

“And it prevents them from growing stronger and influencing reality, whether that be by empowering their faithful or deciding that 2+2=Purple Pineapple.” Aqua nodded. “Being sealed and forgotten has weakened them.”

Aqua glanced towards Subaru and Shalltear “Should have weakened them.”

“So what happens if you die?” Subaru asked.

“Among lots of other things, Water magic won’t work any more.” Aqua said. “While that doesn’t seem too bad, you must understand that their world doesn’t have the evaporation cycle being the cause of rain, instead it is drunk elementals that cause storms and rain is managed by the lesser spirits. Admittedly evaporation does fulfill the role of making the elementals ‘drunk’ off of the mana in the ocean boiling away into the clouds where the elementals hover.” [2]

“Assuming I just don’t wake up back in Heaven because I got crippled.” Aqua thought. “Seriously, I forgot the whole deal between the Storm Elementals stripping the women in thanks for the adventurers beating them back into sobriety. WHICH I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BECAUSE I AM THE WATER GODDESS! Or the fact that Devils have the ability to save up multiple lives via Arcana, the negative energy of this world. Which also provides magic resistant to at least the Dragons. Oh and in sufficient concentrations such as a High Ranking Devil being in one place for centuries, Arcana can rip open a portal to hell. While Divine Mana only grants silly-grade regeneration. Because fuck us.”

Again the room's eyes widened.

Satoru’s eye flames narrowed. “If there is no water magic, then that means there is no healing magic nor irrigation for agriculture. Thus mass famines that will weaken nations, if not destroy them outright. And because there is no food, your armies will starve while the Demon King can just modify some beasts to grow food directly from their bodies. Or modify slimes to function as irrigation. And have his combat minions be completely immune to everything but the now absent water magic.”

The others in the room rubbed their temples.

“If you are so important then why did your superiors even allow you to leave?” Puck said, teeth gritted. “While I am the Great Spirit of Fire, in my world Fire Magic covers both hot and cold temperatures. It is a title that will be passed onto another Fire Spirit with my death. It is what happened when I killed Melakouera. But that is just a random title humans made, same with the Beast of the End. it doesn’t have any effects on Od Laguna.”

“Is the Winter Shogun your heir? Does your Heaven have a backup plan at all?” A twitch traveled down Puck’s spine to the tip of his tail.

“I am planning on being the last Water-type deity of my Pantheon.” Aqua said. “But probably that is what would happen if mortals wanted to Apotheosis him. Or one of his subordinate Snow Sprites, which if you kill one of them, then winter is shortened by a single day.”

The others except Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin blinked.

“That’s odd.” Puck summarized the room’s thoughts as he rubbed his temples. “First the manually controlled water, and now this season decoupled from the time of the year? What’s next, all plant life being mobile and extremely hostile?”

Megumin opened her mouth.

“Oh come on!” Puck said, spasmed from head to tail tip, this time the twitch traveled down to his paws as well. “I was being rhetorical!”

“Well, so long as you don’t swallow the seeds whole.” Megumin explained. “Then most of the plant life just pulls up their roots and runs away. Only the vegetables actually attack you, hence why you need permits to grow them. So I don’t think you can count that as hostile.”

The room blinked again.

Lergen rubbed his head. “The childhood fears of plant life growing inside of you if you swallow a seed. Should not be a literal thing.”

“A-Allergies can be t-triggered if the f-flowers engulf their enemies’ f-faces.” Mare said as he tapped his chin.

“Eh, haven’t seen any flowers do that.” Megumin waved her hand. “They mostly run around and make the teacher force his students to round them up. Maybe if there was a vicious Tranquility Girl nearby, but uh.”

The room filled in the blanks of that happening when their species’ common name was that.

Warn Kazuma of the Tranquility Queen and the Manticores that live near Axel. Darkness wrote in her notebook.

Ah, that is easier and harder than the Unified Divine Realm’s ranking system of how many worlds you have saved. Ristarte thought. Ask Aqua about ascended humans.

Hm, guess Aqua is vulnerable to Ovid and Dante-type Orators. Rudersdorf frowned.

Aqua blinked and turned her head back.

“This must be fate. I saw earlier that you couldn’t cover the fee, correct?” The priest continued.

The priest laid out several golden coins on the table. They were engraved with the dull star of chaos which maybe is the emblem of Belzerg Kingdom.

“Here. Please consider this Eris-sama’s divine blessing.” the priest said while doing the cross motion. …which was a Christian thing.

The military records crew, except Tanya, all breathed in through their noses and counted to ten.

Aqua’s dismay tinted appearance straightened at the sight. Her body and hair cast far more shadow than it should.

“Still, no matter how devout a believer you are, you mustn’t call yourself a goddess.” The priest rubbed his beard.

“Uh, yes. I’m sorry.” Aqua said while she completed her turn and walked over to grab the coins. “Thank you very much…”

Aqua clutched the few coins to her chest before Kazuma’s mouth twitched, eyebrows knotted as Aqua walked back. A soft giggle-sigh escaped Aqua’s lips as she stood in front of her ‘owner’.

“He didn’t even believe that I'm a goddess.” Aqua complained.

Aqua’s eyes wavered under her tears. “By the way, Eris is a goddess ranked beneath me. A believer in my subordinate took pity on me and lent me money…”

Aqua’s eyes wobbled so much that they were audible.

Kazuma looked away and down at the floor. “Y-Yeah…”

Luna was shown wiping off her desk, more accurately her hand. She paused as the camera zoomed out to show Luna nearly horizontal with her butt pointing to the lower right corner of the screen. Kazuma and Aqua’s eyes were covered by their hair bangs.

“Um,” Kazuma brought up his hand. “We’ve brought the registration fee.”

Luna stood up as she stopped her washing, “S-Sure…”

“Something told me that she didn’t want to make eye contact with us…” Kazuma narrated over the request board.

Luna turned around, “Allow me to formally explain.”

Kazuma and Aqua were shown as Luna’s autopilot brain swapped back on.

“Adventurers each have their own occupations.” Luna said before she pointed to the card. “This is your registration card. It keeps track of how many monsters you’ve vanquished.”

“So, you don’t have to cut off the ears or other body parts to confirm the kill?” Satoru said, left hand on chin.

“We are not backwards hillbillies!” Darkness said, fists clutched at her side.

“Besides, if all the adventurers are looking for is to cut off their ears.” Tanya said with a shrug. “Then the natural thing to do is to make a monster breeding farm, cut off the associated body part, sell the part, and then use the money to expand your breeding facilities. Which will eventually get exposed and release far more monsters than originally was.”

Albedo closed her eyes and mentally groaned at such an easy answer to raise money, which she and Demiurge completely missed. Then not one of Lord Satoru’s operatives would lack for money in the human world. Demiurge resisted the urge to slap himself upside the head with his tail as he came to the same conclusion.

“Okay, I get why Albedo and Demiurge didn’t think of that because they have to run Nazarick and deduce Lord Satoru’s plots to take over the world respectively.” Aura thought, head in her hands with Mare gently rubbing her head. “But I am the Beastmaster, so I should have thought of that myself! Hey, for that matter, why don’t we see if Mare could grow one of the rare (for the New World) plants and harvest those to give to Lord Satoru’s Momon Persona. Which would increase his fame because he can now accurately identify AND harvest rare plant materials.”

“I could have the Lizardmen see if they have any other rare resources suitable for trade to human settlements.” Cocytus thought. “Then have Lord Satoru as Momon formally meet them and bring trade. Increasing his fame not only as a Human Hero, but as a Hero of many races.”

Satoru placed a hand on his forehead. “Oh, I am such a dumbass for not thinking of that. It would certainly give Aura and Mare something to do so that they aren’t bored.”

Tanya gave half-lidded glares to the Nazarick crew. “[Geniuses], Suuuuure.”

The NPCs accepted that remark and hung their heads.

“As your level increases, you’ll earn points that you can use to learn skills, so please work hard to raise your level.” Luna said as she folded her hands in front of her waist.

A blue crystal orb was shown, yellow and light gray metal formed a clockwork machination around the orb. Below the orb were three cyan laser focusing discs. The Card Maker was held up by two dark gray claws.

“Now, both of you, please hold your hands over this crystal.” Luna asked.

The camera swapped to show Kazuma reaching to the crystal. Aqua was interested in the clockwork of the Card Maker.

“Like this?” the boy asked.

With a click and the sound of a film reel rolling, the crystal lit up with an inner like as the clockwork spun. Which prompted an amazed [ha] to spill from Kazuma’s lips. Cyan bubbles gathered in the crystal before they descended to the focusing lens. The clockwork clicked and swirled as a violin played over the fantastically rendered CGI. the focusing lens, more like small bowls as the camera zoomed in and provided clarity, wobbled as the cyan bubbles passed through them to reach the needle at the bottom.

With a soft electronic whistle, the needle tip glowed and shot the concentrated bubbles down at the card. Etching into it the details of Kazuma.

“With this, you will each learn your current status,” Luna said as the laser wrote down Kazuma’s name. “So please choose your desired occupation based on your stats.”

The laser-pen was shown from below, looking like a saucer-type final boss. The laser passed over the camera twice before we returned to Kazuma’s very invested face.

“Here it comes!” Kazuma leaned closer. “Now my tremendous latent abilities will be made apparent, and there’ll be an uproar throughout the guild!”

“I mean…” Kazuma scratched his left cheek. “I guess I did receive it, with that sheer delay of leveling up.”

“You also did get it by proxy of Aqua.” Megumin and Darkness said.

Aqua nodded.

Kazuma blushed.

“So, Subaru truly isn’t the only one with that type of expectations.” Emilia thought with half-lidded eyes.

The laser etching finished, leaving a lot of words in the Belzerg script that went untranslated. Below a stylized portrait of Kazuma were six bubbles that detailed the type of class he had. To the left of that was his skill list and presumably his current stat point number. Above that was his name in the script, which looked like the scribbles of a space architect. Luna picked up the card and then turned around.

“Yes, thank you very much.” Luna said while reading Kazuma’s card. “Satou Kazuma-san, is it? Let me see…”

The camera showed Kazuma gleefully awaiting his destiny and Aqua mildly interested.

“Average across the board.” Luna said. “With the exception of decently high intelligence…”

Luna blinked. “Oh? Your luck is extraordinarily high.”

Kazuma blushed as most of the room nodded in agreement with Luna.

“Of course,” Luna held Kazuma’s card to her chest, a hesitant look on her face. “Luck isn’t a very essential stat for an adventurer… with this much luck, I’d recommend becoming a merchant or something similar.”

Kazuma had the barest hints of despair on his face, Aqua tried and mostly succeeded in suppressing her giggles behind a meritful smirk and her hand.

“Ah, the [Easy Growth] thing is a hidden stat.” Rudersdorf said, tapping his left hand’s fingers against his left palm. “On one hand, it's convenient not to hang a [please assassinate me] sign around their necks. On the other hand, I do not envy your nation’s strategists when it comes to your nation’s future.”

“We did identify the previous Cheat Users by their black hair and odd artifacts.” Darkness explained. “But roughly 20 years ago there was a push from the demon king that focused down on black haired people, so Mitsurugi and Kazuma are the latest in the trend of disinformation.” [4]

“Ah, what is a mere twenty years to a goddess?” The rest of the room thought, realizing that the demon king wouldn’t use a dagger in place of a broadsword.

Kazuma glared at the snickering Aqua over his shoulder. “Hey, she’s disapproving of my adventurer’s lifestyle right off the bat. What’s going on?”

“U-Um,” Kazuma turned towards Luna, he hunched over. “Make my primary job [Adventurer], please.”

“W-Well,” Luna’s brain switched into consultation mode. “You can always change jobs when you level up!”

“Y-You’re right!” Kazuma said, straightening his back as he took his card.

“Eh? You don’t have to wait until level 40 before your Class-Up Ritual?” Raphtaila asked, her ears twitched as she remembered the battle against the Class-upped Bandit that was cut from the anime. “No wait, you have that very slow leveling process. Thus you wouldn’t need to restrict access to the Class-Up ritual.”

Raphtalia glanced at Filo’s Cowlick-Tiara thing.

“Would you gain stats from changing your class?” Raphtalia asked. “It happened to us, so you should have the same thing. …though, you don’t have the Waves as a phenomenon.”

Aqua shook her head. “No we don’t have to wait, no our stats don’t grow when we change classes. The only way for stats to grow is leveling, training, and Dragon Meat.”

Kazuma turned towards Aqua. “Hey, if Dragon Meat is a stat boosting item, and at least Mitsu-prick can easily kill a Dragon.” Kazuma reached over to pinch Aqua’s cheeks. “Then, why oh why, isn’t Dragon Meat being served as a regular, if expensive, meal here at Axel’s Adventurer’s Guild?”

“Because Dragons are converters who seek out Arcana, the energy of hell, absorbing it. They break it down into usable energies and rare materials like Manatite that form in their treasure hoards, the stat increase is just a side effect. But because the Dragons are not native to hell, they all go insane and must be put down.” Aqua said through her pinched cheeks. “The other side effect of this conversion process makes it so that Arcana can be smelled by anyone, not just the Divines. Thus if you were to serve Dragon Meat, you would get numerous complaints about the smell.” [3]

Kazuma closed his eyes, breathed out his nose, and let Aqua go.

“Ah, if only Volcanica’s meat could do the same thing.” Roswaal thought. “Then Subaru would be on board with my plan to kill the Dragon, he must be desperate to be worthwhile in combat.”

“Eating to get stronger? What a lazy growth method.” The casts of Overlord, Military Records, Rista, Seiya, and Subaru thought.

“Ah, so more of the cardinal weapons.” Raphtailia and Filo thought.

“Subaru and Kazuma are going to be so pissed that I can grow stronger just by eating everything.” Naofumi thought of his shield’s absorption ability. Blissfully unaware of his time as the Tray (Mirror) Hero in the second Glass World arc.

“Of course we can’t have that type of ‘metaphysics’, no that would mean Subaru would be useful in more situations.” Puck’s left eye twitched. “Apparently we can’t have nice things.”

“I know that the last heartbeat of a Dragon and/or the blood of a Dragon is one possible solution to my frozen forest.” Emilia frowned and glanced at her lap. “But why can’t we have such an easy way to gain power? That isn’t being born with it like myself, or tremendous training like Wilhelm?”

Emilia breathed in through her nose, held her breath for 10 seconds, and released it from her mouth.

“I. Am. Not. Her.” Emilia thought.

Ram laid a hand on her twin’s back which broke Rem out of her angry thought spiral.

Kazuma opened his eyes and stared down Aqua.

His face dropped as he saw for himself, exactly how terrible his stats were.

“The weakest job, huh?” Kazuma thought as Aqua walked past behind him.

The machine swirled for a brief moment then Luna let out a loud gasp.

“Aside from your intelligence being below average,” Luna said around her hand in front of her mouth. “And your luck being the lowest possible level, all of your stats are drastically above average!”

“Yeah,” Zettour nodded. “Being dragged down from Heaven would qualify for the lowest luck possible.”

“If we didn’t just see part of Subaru’s first day.” The rest of the room finished the thought.

Luna’s boobs jiggled as she turned towards Aqua.

“What?” Aqua’s just stated intelligence kicked in. “Does that mean I’m really amazing?”

A mirthful jingle played as Luna retrieved Aqua’s card.

“A-Amazing is an understatement!” Luna said. “The mage class, which requires intelligence, is out of the question, but other than that, you can be anything you want!”

Two barmaids and four male customers were shown as they turned towards Luna, Kazuma, and Aqua.

“A Crusader, Sword Master, Arch Priest…” Luna continued over their interested looks. “Nearly any Advanced Class right from the start!”

The red haired barmaid walked in front of them, the camera focused on her interested face as Luna’s final syllable left her lips. Before Aqua and Kazuma were shown once again, Kazuma looked at Aqua with a dejected expression as Aqua had a closed eye smug smile on her face. One arm supported the other whose hand had her raised index finger twirling in place.

“I see. It’s a shame there’s no [Goddess] Occupation,” Aqua said, she opened her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. “But in my case, maybe I’ll be an Arch Priest who heals her allies.”

“An Arch Priest!” Luna said.

The camera panned up Aqua’s body starting at her hips

“An almighty Class that commands all recovery and support magic, and that boasts enough strength to stand at the front line!” Luna’s narration ended at Aqua’s pleasant smile.

The tavern erupted into cheers and trumpets. Still images of celebrating adventurers passed before Luna turned around after getting Aqua’s card. Luna was suddenly flanked by two other receptionists, the left one was an elf with light green hair. The right was a human with a darker shade of green.

“Without further ado, welcome to our adventurer’s guild, Lady Aqua.” Luna said.

The camera retreated to show further uniformed staff members, Luna took her free arm and placed it under her boobs like she was going to bow. All of the …behind the scenes staff wore the same uniform. A brown vest over a secondary vest this time colored navy, which had a white long sleeved shirt underneath that. A red tie provided a centering effect compared to the yellow star that was over everyone’s heart. The look was completed with a gray pair of pants with the navy vest’s coattails covering the belt.

To the left of the elf was a moderately tall brown haired human man who had his arms folded behind his waist. To that one’s left stood a far larger, both in height and width, man with his arms crossed.

“All of our staff will be looking forward to your future exploits.” Luna said.

“Why couldn’t Re-Estize be developed enough to have these adventurer’s cards?” The NPCs thought. “Then Lord Satoru wouldn’t have to waste his time doing menial tasks.”

A wide shot of the guild filled to the brim with adventurers who all cheered before the camera cut back to Aqua’s smiling face.

“Starting off as an Archpriest is incredible!” Said one female adventurer amongst the crowd.

Aqua’s hair did its pseudo dog tail wagging as the camera routed around her, as Aqua looked around the crowd. Aqua closed her eyes as she rubbed her head and waved with her free hand.

“Someone like you might actually be able to beat the Demon King, you reckless girl!” Said the Barbarian as he was moved behind Aqua.

The turning movement ended when the disappointed Kazuma got onto screen.

“No event like this is going to happen for me?” Kazuma asked.

Aqua pivoted towards Kazuma, a smile beaming across her face and finger pointed directly at Kazuma.

“It’s the adventurer’s life for us starting today, Kazuma!” Aqua said.

“I thought you absolutely hated all this.” Kazuma replied, still down.

Aqua blinked and lowered her hand, “Did I?”

Kazuma merely closed his eyes and sighed. The camera swapped to just above the statue’s head, showing the massive crowd. Kazuma half turned before the entire crowd was blurred out to focus on the statue. Then the camera showed the statue from Kazuma’s perspective.

“Well, anyways, everything thus far has been basically character creation,” Kazuma thought, as he turned to the camera and a small smile grew. “Now our adventure is about to begin.”

The camera zoomed into Kazuma’s face before blending into a blinding white. Axel was shown from the treetops, sunlight peeking from above the wall. Then one of the nearby mountains was shown with a tower to the side, in between was the sunlight behind the horizon. No, it was the dawn of a new day and the dawn of the end of the Demon King. trumpets and other horns played continuously until the next spoke line over this montage.

A dove flew past the screen at a very close distance, close enough for the viewer to count the individual feathers. Which was helped by the fact that the bird was rapidly losing feathers as it flew up and away from the camera.

A mound of dirt was shown before an offscreen Kazuma swung his pickaxe into the ground. Kazuma was shown mid backswing, down to his white undershirt and green tracksuit pants. The top half wrapped around his waist and a white headband from somewhere applied to his forehead. Kazuma gritted his teeth as he once more swung the pickaxe forward, obscuring the sight of a short set of scaffolding to repair the wall’’s face.

The animation exaggerated Kazuma’s determined but despairing face as he commenced the hard labor of groundbreaking.

Kazuma was shown from afar with several other men digging to either provide stone for the wall or to make a foundation. In the foreground Aqua was providing water to three men in the shade of a lean-to. Kazuma was next shown to be carrying the back of a massive timber that was tied to a bag of coal or the result of their mining, only for the weight to be too much and he collapsed which caused the rocks to fall out.

A small amount of dust, the same amount as Aura kicked up, billowed around him as Kazuma laid on his back amongst the rocks which narrowly missed him. Kazuma slowly glanced up to the blonde foreman who had his arms crossed and a massive frown. Kazuma jolted upwards and raised an apology salute while the other worker was scratching his head and a faint light of dismay shone in his eyes.

“Why didn’t you participate in the hard labor, if your stats are so good?” Filo asked.

“Well, that would be training.” Aqua shrugged. “As a Goddess, my stats are already at the cap that they naturally can grow to be, whether that be training or leveling. So the only way for me to grow stat wise is Dragon Meat.”

The others blinked as Kazuma placed his hands on Aqua’s shoulders and gave her a pitying look.

“I don’t need your pity.” Aqua said as she removed Kazuma’s hands from her shoulders.

“Ah, too bad about Aqua not doing the hard work.” Tanya thought. “Might have seen some Popeye-type action. …and the joy of a ‘Goddess’ forced to do the same menial tasks as us.”

A pair of horses were shown with their heads between the stable bars.

“What are those?” Emilia asked. “Why do they look like Melakuera?”

“First a fire cat, and now a fire horse.” Tanya breathed in. “Ah, proper fantasy.”

“Those are horses?” Ram said. “Hn, I like the look of Land Dragons better. At least the scales don’t get everywhere like fur does.”

The entire stable was shown before Kazuma’s face was shown with closed eyes on a bundle of hay. Kazuma then rolled over to face a pile of horseshit, he then smelled it and jerked away. Kazuma glared at the scat and held his nose closed.

“You know, if Aqua actually pulled her weight.” Filo said. “Then maybe you wouldn’t have to sleep in a stable.”

Aqua hung her head.

“…and that’s another thing I am forced to be grateful about.” Naofumi thought, head in hands. “How lucky I was to not be forced to sleep in a stable, even when the entire nation hated my guts.”

Raphtalia gently rubbed the back of her Master’s head.

“Well, at least Subaru didn’t have to deal with this.” Rem thought.

“Oh come on, why couldn’t I have joined the party early enough to sleep in the stable with them?” Darkness bit her tongue to prevent her jealousy from showing on her face.

Her party mates all had half lidded eyes as they sensed their perverted knight’s thoughts.

“Wow, Aqua didn’t cry about that?” Megumin thought. “I guess she does have a modicum of self control.”

Megumin twisted in her seat.

“At least I didn’t force Kazuma to smell my pee during that doll incident.” Megumin thought. “Couldn’t the stable owner find an actually clean cell for them to sleep in?”

“Aw, of course I miss such a delightful bounding experience.” Darkness shuddered. “Kazuma could have used my body as a blanket and as an air freshener.”

The camera shifted to show Aqua right behind Kazuma, blissfully asleep and selfishly hogging the only tiny blanket. More scat was just below Kazuma, to the point where if he straightened his legs, then his feet would be barely an inch away. Kazuma’s shoulders shook before the camera showed the outside of the barn, above which was a pleasant navy night sky partially hidden by the clouds.

Beneath the barn laid a gently babbling crook which ended in the screen’s bottom right corner. The crook’s end gently shimmered like Kazuma’s tears.

Kazuma blurred as he swung the pickaxe in the light of day, his expression far more maniac today. The other workers, however, were far more impressed with Aqua’s …Talents to see what Kazuma was doing. Though Aqua did eventually learn enough construction skills to expand a castle under daily [Explosion] bombardment by Wolbach, the one who taught Megumin explosion.

So Aqua flourishly applying mortar, or whatever the brick binding element is called, does have a purpose. Though her white shirt, green pants, gray boots, and yellow bandana certainly was …an interesting design choice. One that only highlighted Aqua’s delight as she spun around to face the crowd, which included Kazuma who had stopped working.

Aqua dumped a bucket of water over her head as she did the pseudo-shower of apparently Japanese tradition. Kazuma and Aqua were shown back in their original gear drinking milk. Whose vendor was just to the side of them in a purple apron and a light purple shirt with a white hat. Both Aqua and Kazuma held their left hands on their waists as they completely drained the glass jugs of milk.

The adventurer’s guild was shown at night and Kazuma bit into a drumstick and had to pull the meat apart with his teeth. Aqua bit into cheese on a fork before she and Kazuma bumped their Nereoid drinks together.

Kazuma threw a large blanket onto a pile of hay, which was finally free of horse scat. Aqua turned around and leapt backwards onto the blanket. Hands held close to her chest before she threw them out and upwards as she landed. Kazuma too was making a Y shape but he was face down into their new blanket.

Kazuma was finally working in unison with the other groundbreakers, but still wildly threw his head back and forth. …well mostly in sync, he was in a line with the others who were in actual synchronization. Kazuma operated the crane lifting up three more bricks to the top of the wall, and Aqua took a free ride. She waved some encouragement towards Kazuma as he got her level with the top of the wall.

Aqua and Kazuma were shown side by side as they did the bucket of water thing. They then banged their drinks together once more. They both sensed the presence of their construction co-workers and their eyes shrunk to pinpricks as they saw the entirety of the crew before them. Said crew was understandably pissed because of their lackluster work efforts. Kazuma and Aqua quietly shook in fear.

A white flash then Kazuma was shown line dancing with the other men, each of which was holding their own drinks. Everyone had their eyes closed as they swayed from side to side. Aqua bumped drinks with two of her co-workers as some of the tavern goers raised their mugs to the partying group of workers.

The camera zoomed out of Aqua chugging so much alcohol that even she had a small blush over her nose. Kazuma had a hand on his head as he closed his eyes and leaned back, nearly resting on his boss. In front of Kazuma was another filled to the brim mug, in fact the foam of the drink was overflowing. Next to the overflowing drink laid a plate of drum sticks. After that Kazuma rubbed Aqua’s back as she puked out a rainbow, a large one in fact with a modest puddle by their feet.

The next day Aqua slathered on more mortar in a sideways V shape, the duo did the bathtub bathing thing, and this time Aqua joined Kazuma in the conga line. The post dance drinking was skipped to replay the rainbow puking once more.

The dove lost the same amount of feathers as it heralded the dawn of a new day.

Kazuma still made his overly exaggerated faces but this time he was in sync with the other workers, Aqua made a sideways V Mortar. Then Aqua and Kazuma drained their small glasses of milk. …the clip of Kazuma eating a drumstick and Aqua eating cheese replayed. They toasted their drinks and the full conga line was shown in this replay. Before it zoomed into Aqua’s cheerful but closed eyes face. As transparent liquid droplets filled the bottom half of the screen.

The droplets continued as it went to Kazuma’s face, also full of enjoyment.

The navy blue sky filled with stars as the camera raced up to show the full moon. The music reached a crescendo as Aqua and Kazuma, now finally having separate blankets of their own. Laid down on their sack of hay. A beat filled with the white noise of nightlife animals as their work closes were hung on a drying line above them.

“Wait, this isn’t right!” Kazuma lunged into a seating position.

“Really, what was your first indication?” Lergen snarked.

“What isn’t?” Aqua asked, not willing to exit the comfort of her blanket by sitting up.

Kazuma placed his hand over his mouth. “No, wait a second!”

That caused Aqua to shuffle herself upwards and push her blanket down to her hips. Her blue nightgown was just a shade lighter than her hair or her eyes, it had a bare neck with exposed shoulders. Her nightgown was prevented from falling by two white straps connected to a thick white band. Above her breasts was a small tie, a dark purple circle with yellow trim. The main body of the tie was red and ended in a white chevron.

“What’s wrong?” Aqua asked. “Did you forget to use the bathroom before bed? It’s dark. Do you want me to go with you?”

Kazuma jolted his hand away and crunched it into a fist as he glared at Aqua.

“No need! It's not that!” Kazuma yelled

The stable owner was apparently close enough to hear that and banged against the wall. …further frightening their horses if said animals were awake. Aqua’s hair twirled as Kazuma hunched into himself, fists near his chin in an ametur’s boxing pose. His eyes were pinpricks as he stared at the wall separating him and a potential beatdown because of a noise complaint. Aqua completed her motion and her final pose was that karate chop hand position.

“Keep it down!” Shouted back the stable owner as Aqua’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks.

The pseudo-couple twisted their spines as they waved their hands and closed their eyes in the exact same way.

“W-We’re sorry!” They both stuttered in the same way.

Kazuma spread mortar over a seam in the bricks before placing a new brick over the seam. Aqua was sat a few feet away on a wooden stool so she could make a higher layer of bricks. Kazuma picked up another brick and laid it upon the mortar.

“We didn’t come here to be laborers.” Kazuma said.

“Oh,” Aqua jolted out of autopilot and turned towards Kazuma. “That’s right!”

Aqua pulled her brick and …mortar spreader thing away from her work station. “I need you to defeat the Demon King, or I’ll never be able to go home!”

Kazuma had a face of mute despair upon that. So much despair that the next scene was bathwater rippling as Kazuma gingerly lowered himself in.

“Her intelligence stat was lower than a human’s.” Kazuma thought.

“Oh, wait.” Aqua leaned over to Kazuma. Hand hiding a smirk. “You forgot as well.”

Kazuma hung his head.

Kazuma walked out of the bathhouse, carrying a small wooden box.

“All of the monsters near town have been long since exterminated.” Kazuma thought. “With no monsters, there's no need for anyone to give us fetch quests.”

================= Bloopers:

-during the pick a power section-

“I’m surprised that you didn’t say that Heroes marry into Belzerg’s Royalty if they killed a Demon King, and Nobility if they didn’t.” Darkness said. “Thus the Royal Family has abilities on par with the Heroic Cheats.”

“Why only Belzerg?” Aura asked.

“We’re the frontlines and have been for countless Demon Kings.” Megumin said.

“Thus the other nations provide elite troops to shore up our defenses and give other types of support. But the main financial backer of Belzerg is Elroad, a nation built on gambling.” Darkness clarified. Vol10 stuff.

------

“YOU CALL THAT REINCARNATION?!” Tanya yelled, trying to fly over to Kazuma to choke him. Luckily for Kazuma, Visha and Lergen knew Tanya very well and pinned her down. “THAT'S RESURRECTION NOT REINCARNATION!”

“Why would there be a separate term?” Aqua tilted her head.

“CAUSE THEY-” Weiss shoved an unwrapped chocolate bar into his superior’s mouth.

“Because they are widely different things.” Ristarte sighed, hanging her head at her fellow goddess’ stupidity.

--------------deleted cuz I was about to go into Christian-Norse relations and the Crusades.

The non-Military Records crew just sat there for a few seconds comprehending Yahweh’s Angels.

“Angels are also metaphors. Hence why the Cherubim have a human head for love, an ox head for strength, a lion’s head for majesty, and an eagle’s head for cunning.” Rudersdorf said. “Though as you can see on the left, the standard angel looks like a human, being the ones to interact with us most. “Be Not Afraid” does not help with that many eyes. The reason why they have white wings and halos, when they didn’t in the bible, is because the renaissance artists needed a way to differentiate their humans and angels.”

Satoru rested his head in his palms. “So, why did the Cherubim become the angel baby archers?”

“Valentine’s Day, a day where you’re supposed to give chocolate to your significant other.” Rudersdorf explained. “Thus the greco-roman minor deity named Eros/Cupid whose weaponry bestows love, usually in the romantic sense, to anyone they wound. Even himself. Got assimilated into said holiday, because we of the Abrahamic Faiths just love to take someone else’s properties and make it ours. Like what happened to Yuletide (a celebration of Norse’s Great God Odin) into a celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth.”

Satoru perked up. “Oh, right. Christians also transcribed the Norse Literature.”

The other worlds stared at the Military Records cast.

Rudersdorf raised an eyebrow, “Would you prefer the violent way known as the Crusades?”

----

Blooper: if the Axis Cultists were shown.

“This is my role, not yours!” Albedo thought.

In response a group of humans labeled the ‘Axis Cult (Aqua’s Faithful)’ were shown in all of their sexual deviancy. Particularly the various monsters charging the cultists, seeing/overhearing their affiliation, and instantly bolting for the horizon. An image was shown simply titled: Who controls art. On the bottom left was a monarch, in the middle was an eccentric millionaire, on the right was a furry with wads of cash.

“If there is a hole there is a way?” Zettour held his head in his hands. “What is this, the Roman Empire in popular depiction?”

“Oh, splendid. Yet more Eight Fingers-like organizations.” Sebas thought, ki bristled underneath his skin. “Thankfully this one doesn’t have any slave-brothels. …or at least ones that Weaver has yet to reveal to us.”

The others, save Darkness and Megumin, sat in silence absorbing the Axis Cult.

“So, Yggdrasil closed down without any word of a sequel or something.” Aqua, the Goddess of Monster Fuckers and other sexually societal Outcasts, shook her head no. “And that’s just the furries/heteromorph-only players. Especially considering that Name Recognition is just as valuable, if not more so, than Gold.”

“Especially since Satoru’s Earth had only humans and thus Yggdrasil (and its contemporaries) would be one of the only escapes from the cruelty of man.” Aqua raised her hands into a confused shrug. “And the other races couldn’t sabotage their ‘harmless’ reputations like hippos. Compared to Shark’s reputation of monsters always on the prowl.”

“Again, we are just as monstrous as you think we are.” Shalltear and Demiurge thought, cupping their heads in their hands.

“Unfortunately like Bitch/Whore did for women in general, Balscus ruined religions for Mr. Naofumi.” Raphtalia thought, rubbing her temples. “Otherwise you would maybe have a new convert. If you weren’t so lust focused.” “So, your solution to you using people from a nation of declining birth rates and put them into a world of declining birth rates.” Tanya thought. “Was to reincarnate the people from the world of declining birth rates back into Japan. I’ve heard that [If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it] from the Americans. But this is ridiculous.”

=======Preview.

s1ep5/6:

“Why? Did you aim for his arm?” Puck’s tail twitched, Rem’s pinprick eyes were reflected in Puck’s very sharp teeth. “Why am I not the only one of his allies to kill him?”

S1ep7 re:zero

A pair of hands grasped Subaru’s and broke him out of his nightmare.

The oni twins merely turned their heads towards Subaru as they remember the first interaction they were allowed to keep.

“A simple hand holding is what caused you to forgive us?” Ram stated with half-lidded eyes. “You are far too kind, unnaturally so. The barest of bare minimums of kindness do not make up for what we did.”

….

Subaru leapt off the cliff.

“No, I retract that unnatural kindness comment.” Ram said. “You’re insane. Literally insane.”

S1ep8 of re:zero.

-------

“So, not only are you completely and utterly insane.” Tanya threw her hands up. “But you don’t even give yourself any rest? Seriously, wait a day or two before you are all chummy with those demons.”

“Racing against a dog clock, remember?” Subaru said.

S1ep14 of re:zero.

“Rem. Rem.” Subaru muttered as he dragged himself through the tragedy around him.

“I’ll count this as healing.” Rem said as she stared down at her hands.

Subaru opened his mouth.

“Yes, I know that it’s because you don’t want to actualize the thought of Emilia being hurt.” Rem spoke before Subaru could. “But thinking about people that have harmed you being hurt, is perfectly normal and a sane thing to do. Which you are in short supply of both.”

-------------------

S1ep2 of Shield Hero:

“You need to trust more.” Subaru said.

“You need to trust LESS!” Naofumi, Tanya, and Ainz shouted back at him.

---------------------

[0] Said angel being completely and utterly terrible was, in fact, the trigger for the party actually killing the demon king. By provoking Aqua’s good hearted nature with the fact that no one else is coming after Kazuma until Aqua is returned. No natives. No isekais. Nothing. Thus the Demon King thinks Kazuma is the Doom Slayer.

[1]the reason why I say this, is because in vol 4 (later half of season 2) Kazuma expresses shock at finding an Elf and Dwarf in Aqua’s church-town. So, elves and dwarves must skip Axel if they come. Also in vol 10, even another human nation does not want to support Belzerg. So why would non humans (other than Aqua and Eris) help? Remember that Belzerg has held back this current demon king for 7 centuries, several of them even before the Crimson Demon clan was made.

To the point where the Belzerd nobility have agreements for the Talentless. If a Talentless only kills a General, then they can marry into the nobility. The Dustiness Family (aka Darkness family) which has only accepted defensive cheats, there’s a rival family for offensive cheats. The royal family itself only accepts the Talentless who actually killed a Demon King. So, the other nations and races are basically blissfully unaware of the danger that the world is in. (which isn’t really shown because it's a comedy series).

Afterall, Belzerg has stood for many generations of Demon Kings, why should this one be any different.

[2]Yes, I know that the common fanon is that all water molecules would disappear with Aqua’s death. But that’s not how I interpated the debate between Aqua, Megumin, Darkness, and Lucy (vol14). But what about Eris not having big boobs if all her faithful believe that she has them? To which I reply: Fanon has Eris being an ascended human like Ristarte. I forget if that is actually canon to the ln, but that is what I am using.

Thus, like Ristarte and Cerceus, Eris is immune (or at least resistant) to attempts to mold her form and facts about her.

[3]in canon, Dragons do have Arcana but that only grants magic resist for them. The smell and stat increase is also canon. Again, I am spending far too much time trying to make sense out of a comedy series.

[4]Yeah it’s canon that Wiz is literally the reason why Konosuba’s Demon King isn’t overlord vol14/later half of s4, or any of the Overly Cautious Demon Kings.

AN: Brain: hey you know what’s a good idea? Use the power picking section to brainstorm powers. Me actually writing: oh hell no. even though I did come up with powers and how to connect them into explaining Actual Speed v Esoteric Speed (using DC’s Flash) vs Action Economy (using Brain Unglaus). That is just too unwieldy, SO STOP APPEARING IN MY MIND, BRAIN!

In other news, that thing about Mare smashing the ice statute of Brain? Yeah I thought it was a personal smack with his staff, ‘comedic’ or otherwise. Not that Brain was caught up in the AOE of Mare’s spells. So Mare is surprisingly less of an asshole than I thought he was.

"I respect you enough to command my subordinates to freeze you into cryostasis, take your weapon as a trophy, but not enough to move your body out of the AOE of my coworker." -Cocytus to Brain.

Unless the road the nobles took to Ainz’ rubble throne was the street Brain defended, then Cocytus must have asked Mare not to destroy the street.

In other news: I’ve got a tumblr, worldweaverofmediocrity. Go there to see progress updates on this story (and maybe others)

I want to have subaru discuss the normal cour length of 12/13 episodes, thus he mistakenly believes that most of the mansion loops (such as the ones where the Oni Twin were cruel to him) wouldn’t be featured in favor of saving the screen time for pete. Thus, he (alone in his head) doesn’t need to explain why he committed a (heroic) suicide nor why he isn’t deeply afraid of said twins. Nor his self harming habit. Or his fear of chains. But I have no idea where to put that, maybe I should save that for the next re:zero episode.

…and i basically lost my first job because of crippling anke pain/constantly under preforming. So job search twice in one year. …yay -_-

I don’t expect to live past 8/30/23, because I have an endoscopy and that requires anatheisa (the part i’m worried about) i’ve underwent that far too many times (like 15+ because when I was 6-8 I had to do an endoscopy every six weeks), so i’ve rolled the dice too amny times. If I don’t take this down in like 5 days, then i’m dead. Writing this last bit during a panick attack.

#isekai quartet #re:zero #overlord #saga of tanya the evil #the overpowered hero is overly cautious #overly cautious hero #overly cautious #konosuba #writing #my writing #the rising of the shield hero

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thenerdytomboy · 2 years

Text

Useful(S.o.C Chapter 2)

Word count:~1,100

warnings: none

...

He feels useless.

A week of rest should be more than enough before he could at least get up and help around the house, right? Vivek thought so, but Harriet and Fern disagreed, quite harshly in fact.

“Now I don’t know what kinda life ya lived out on that journey o’ yours, but ya sure as hell ain't straining yaself under my watch!” The yellow-haired woman had exclaimed when Vivek first tried to help Aspen and Holly with some of the lighter work, but even that seemed to be too much for him to take on in Harriets’ eyes. He had tried his best to reason with the woman, but she was as stubborn as the mule they had outside.

“Mrs. Wolfson-”

“Hun I’ve told ya, just call me Harriet.”

“Mrs. Harriet, I can assure you I’m perfectly fine! I can help with the sewing and cooking-”

“And have ya stabbing yourself with needles or standin’ in a hot kitchen for hours? No, I forbid it, ya still weak, and I ain't having ya pass out on us again! Need I remind ya of yesterday?”

Vivek cringes back slightly, remembering the exact tumble down the stairs she was referring to, “My foot slipped….”

“Yes, and ya damn near cracked ya head open again! Almost gave this poor old woman a near heart attack! Just take a few more days of rest, alright? Just t’ give this old bird some peace of mind. Ya can help me bake a pie then, alright?”

“...If it’ll give you peace of mind…”

“Thank ya, dear. Now up them stairs or to the livin’ room, I want you takin’ it easy! I suppose keepin an eye on Cassidy while she does some school work shouldn’t be too strenuous, if you’re really that hellbent on helpin’ ‘round the house.”

“I… I can do that, Mrs. Harriet.”

“Just Harriet is fine, dear.”

…

Vivek had to admit, he missed this. He missed the chatter of family, the laughter of siblings both older and younger as the dishes clanked at the dinner table.

Harriet had decided it’d be better to have Vivek sit down with them for dinner, now that he was no longer bedridden. He had been given a seat between Jonah and Aspen, and already his plate was loaded with various meats and vegetables. It all smelled remarkably good, and even though he had been eating the same as them this past week and a half, this time felt different. There was no rustle of leaves from wind or rain that would threaten to blow out his fire, no animals trying to take his food, other than the family cat Scruffles begging at his feet for some extra scraps.

Truth be told he was not very good at resisting those kitten eyes, so the fluffy thing would always run straight to him when mealtime came around. He tried his best to be discreet about slipping the little thing a bit of chicken every once in a while.

He couldn’t wait to try the rhubarb-strawberry pie he and Harriet had made earlier.

It was a shame that he’d be leaving all this behind soon enough. As much as he had come to enjoy his time here, he knew better than to stay in one place too long. If he got too comfortable, got too used to everything, he’d hesitate. Hesitate to return to his journey, hesitate to go seek out the knowledge he had originally left for.

He could already feel himself growing hesitant.

…

‘The pie was delicious.’

That's what the purple-haired man thought to himself as he quietly packed his bag in the now dim house. Tonight was the night, any longer and he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave, curse his red side…

Sometimes he wishes he had a bit more blue.

‘I just need to leave. I need to leave before I sink so far into all this love and understanding and get stuck. I need to travel, I need to learn more about the world,’ he thinks to himself as he silently grabs his things and puts them in his bag, ‘All of that time and effort of my journey will be wasted if I settle down now…’

A glance at Jonah sleeping on the floor near where he was crouched.

‘I know he said he’d come along but, I can’t let him risk his life. Not when he’s needed here. This is his home, his people, his family. He shouldn’t give that up for some stranger with a dream.’

‘It… Maybe I could come back and visit?’

‘...No, then I’d have to answer why I left, and I might not get away a second time. I’m gonna miss them though… Maybe I can at least leave something for the troubles.’

…

He had only been walking for a few hours when he heard that familiar voice call out his name.

“Vivek!! Wait up!”

He could’ve known from the footsteps alone that it was Jonah running after him. He wanted to run and try to lose him, but the brute was already caught up by the time Vivek was about to take off.

“Ya should’ve told me we were leaving last night! Almost didn’t catch ya!” He says with his usual smile, “Ma and the others were mighty sad ya didn’t say goodbye in person, but I understand it can be hard to do so sometimes! Ma loved the geode ya left, said it was going right on the mantle piece!”

“What? No! I left that so you could sell it, to take of care of the expenses of taking care of me for 2 weeks! I didn’t leave it for decorating!”

“Welp it’s too late, Ma has already made up her mind! ‘Sides we didn’t take ya in expecting payment! You being healthy and safe was more than enough for us.”

“...You didn’t catch up with me just to thank me for the geode, did you?”

“Nope, as I said, I’m coming with ya. Too much danger out in these lands for ya to be running around by yaself.”

“But your family-”

“-will be fine without me. Aspen said she’s been wanting to help Pa with the animals anyways,” the orange-haired man chuckles. “I told them long before ya ran off that I was goin’ with ya, they’ve been prepared for today for pretty much a week already!”

“Jonah-”

“So where to now? Can’t wait to see where you’ll be leading me, Viv!”

Vivek sighs, but smiles as he pulls out his map, “Well… there's this town about a three days walk from here…”

#Shades of Curiosity #Vivek #Jonah #oc writings #ryes writing #ryes ocs #ryes oc writing #ocs #writing

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hotwings0203 · 3 years

Text

Idk what this is but the thought of you being scared of Bakugos quirk is so hot to me

Tw:noncon, predatory behavior

“I swear he’s getting to be more and more like a villain every time I see him,” you giggle with Mina as you two walk out of the class. Bakugo had yet again exploded at one of your shared teachers for correcting him in his pronunciation of a word, and as usual it was quite a scene to behold. Chairs were almost thrown, his friends had to hold him back from leaping up while others egged him on, itching for amusement in their mind-numbingly dull class.

“Maybe Shigaraki was right,” your pink-haired friend snorts and you both collapse in wheezes, clawing and slapping at each other’s shoulders as the ludicrous image of Shigaraki being unable to reign in Bakugo comes to mind.

“Hey ladies, what’re you two laughing about?” A lilting and charming voice comes right at your ear, and you turn to see Denki, Kirishima and…Bakugo walking next to you.

Just because of his proximity and how you were literally just talking about him two seconds ago, you jump away from Bakugo’s glowering face and not so subtly hide behind Mina in a half playful jest.

“Huh? Whatcha ya jumpin’ around for?” Kirishima laughs and you exchange an embarrassed look with Mina.

“Oh nothing, we were just talking about how Bakugo’s quirk is totally villainous. We’re lucky he’s on our side,” Mina singsongs, but you slap her arm in alarm.

And well placed alarm at that, because Bakugo’s scowl deepens as he turns his head to you in a death-glare. You swallow hard seeing his expression and try to nervously laugh.

“But, uh, we were just joking. Right Mina?” You give her a pointed look and she deflects it happily.

“Nope! At least you weren’t, you’re half scared to death of him, isn’t that right Y/N?”

Denki interrupts before you can sputter in horror.

“Honestly, who isn’t scared of this dude?” He claps the other blond on his back and yelps when Bakugo’s hands start curling with smoke.

“Watch it dumbass.” He cranes his head to meet your eyes, but when he finds that you’re still avoiding eye contact with him he starts moving around his friends to better talk to you.

“My quirk isn’t that scary you idiot. It’s not like I care enough about any of you to blow you up-“

But with the smoke still curling form his hands and with the permanently intimidating scowl on his face reading closer and close to your, you can’t help but squeal and scrabble around him to sink your nails into Kirishima’s shoulders for protection.

“Okay, I get it! You don’t have to come any closer, I can see fine from here.” Your voice comes out too high and strained to be deemed as joking, but nonetheless everyone laughs at your dramatic show.

Everyone but Katsuki. Because he can see you’re actually scared, he’s seen it a hundred times on civilians who try to pretend they’re fine but still have that panicked glint in their eye.

“Jesus Y/N, with a reaction like that maybe he really is a villain. Bakubro, want us to send you back to Shigaraki’s place? Maybe you should reconsider his offer.”

And finally at Denki’s quip everyone including you this time laughs again in playful agreement, but yet again Bakugo’s blood starts simmering further.

Why the fuck were you being so obnoxious? He didn’t do anything to you before, right? So why the hell were you embarrassing him in front of all his friends and making him out to be this bloodthirsty monster?

Well, whatever. If a monster is what you want, then a monster is what you’ll get.

And so he waits for you after school, trailing behind you a couple hundred feet yet still keeping you in sight. He curses when you giggle with your friends, no doubt in his mind that you’re still throwing dirt on his name and he swears under his breath when you talk to Deku and his dweeb friends.

Of course when you hang around ditzy dorks like Deku he’s gonna look like a psycho in comparison.

But at one point you’re by the vending machine alone in a deserted hallway, fumbling with your coins and trying to quickly get a soda before your friends up ahead leave.

Too bad for you, because when he’s done with you they’ll never want to be seen with you again for their own safety.

You’re shoving money in the slot when he silently walks up a couple feet behind you.

“No friends around to gossip about me?”

You shriek and jump a good foot in the air at the sudden voice behind you. Clutching your heaving chest, you whirl around to see who it is.

Your blood runs cold. It’s Katsuki Bakugo, the absolute last person you want to be alone with in a deserted hallway.

Your feet move a step back.

Wrong move.

His nostrils flare and his eyes widen at your insulting retreat. You know he doesn’t take kindly to it, but with an expression like that how could you not?

“Uh, w-what do you mean?” You chuckle nervously.

He doesn’t laugh. In fact, he does something worse.

He matches your steps and moves forward a little bit.

At this you fully take a stride backwards and clash with the vending machine behind you.

He keeps advancing, slowly getting closer and checking you out, his head tilted as his eyes roam up and down your vulnerable body.

“Don’t move back. Why the fuck did you move away from me? That’s rude, we were just having a normal conversation.”

You surprise yourself by sounding level-headed in retaliation. “‘Kinda hard not to be a little uncomfortable when your conversation sounds so accusing.”

He lunges forward and you actually scream this time, throwing your hands up above your head in instinct to protect yourself from his proximity.

Bakugo doesn’t touch you but you can still feel his breath puffing on your head, can still feel the heat from his hands on either side of your body.

“You got a smart mouth don’t you? Is that why you embarrassed me earlier in front of everyone?”

“Embarrassed you-?” You squeak but immediately cut off when he thrusts his face right in front of yours, a manic look on his face as all his facial features stretch into a irate leer.

“I guess we’ll have to fix that tongue of yours. Put it to better use than to talk shit about me, right?”

Vermilion irises move from your face down your body, lingering on your chest and at the apex in between your legs.

Bile rises to your throat as he licks his lips and lets his lips ghost over yours, oh so close yet not touching.

And in the second before he descends, you shove him off with nothing but pure adrenaline feeling your fear and race past him, blindly running down the halls as fast as you can.

Surprisingly, you don’t hear anyone behind you. That doesn’t mean you don’t stop running though.

The real reason you don’t hear anyone behind you is because Katsuki Bakugo has an eerie smile on his face at your bolt. He languidly stretches his arms above his head and relishes in the popping of his joints, and in succession the popping of sparks in his hand. He kicks one leg out, then the other just to ensure you get a fair head start.

You’ve just made this so much more interesting.

He sets off at a light jog, and even in his carefree pace his strides are enough to eventually catch up with you, instinct like an animal’s guiding him through the winding halls and ending up catching a glimpse of your feet as you turn into another lane.

You’re panting, sweat pouring down your eyes as panic makes it hard to breathe or think rationally. The adrenaline that was pushing you is now dying down but at the worst time.

You take a quick glance back and your rapidly beating heart falters as you see him with a grin on his face as he practically jogs leisurely behind you. You’ve seen this same face on him when he’s in the battlefield, blasting through enemy hearts and blowing up heads as if they were fireworks.

He’s bloodthirsty. He wants you.

“Running away again? That’s not very heroic of you babe,” he calls out, and it’s terrifyingly infuriating how he’s not out of breath.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” you half scream and sob, trying to run faster but failing miserably.

You see a bathroom sign out of the corner of your eye and frantically stumble towards it.

Katsuki knows you know he’s even you take a turn and he laughs to himself at how boringly easy this is.

Maybe he was scary.

He shakes it off and continues his hunt after you, coming forth until he faces the bathroom door in which you were cowering behind.

There’s a small window, and no other door. Just a couple of stalls, a terrified girl, and a psycho with the taste of revenge practically palpable on his lustful tongue.

He knock with faux politeness. “You wanna come out and do this the easy way or you want me to barge in and take you myself?”

You sob and wheeze in response, desperately pushing against the flimsy door in a pathetic attempt to keep him out. Bakugo merely crosses his arms and leans against the door, staring intently at it with a smile still on his face.

Judging by the weight pushing more at the bottom of the door, he can tell you’re probably sitting down in an effort to catch your breath.

You both know he can come in at any time he so well pleases, but he decides he’ll play by your rules for a bit longer, indulge you a little before your inevitable downfall.

He hums loudly and slides down to join your parallel position on the floor.

“I’m tryina be nice here, y’know. You acted so scared of me when I never even bothered you before. Aren’t I being nice right now by letting you choose for yourself?”

He sounds so conversational, as if he were talking to one of his buddies. You stay silent but your silence speaks volumes.

It serves as nothing but a means to piss him off further.

The two of you sit in silence for seemingly hours, even though it’s only around 20 minutes. Every second you feel like he’s going to break down the door any second and blast your face off, but miraculously he doesn’t.

You don’t know what you’d rather prefer: for him to prolong your strained agony by letting you be so close yet so far from him, or to end your suffering and get it done with.

But you needn’t sit in silence stewing in your own fear any further, for at the exact moment you begin to doze off with the dying of the light the weight on the other side of the door lifts and you startle awake at the scuffling on the other side.

You blink a couple of times and blanch when you see through the window the purple light indicating that you really have been here longer than you thought.

Bakugo cracks his knuckles and rolls his head, popping a few more kinks in his neck before breathing out and bracing for impact.

“Ready or not little bitch, here I come.”

“Bakugo, wait-!”

But your plea doesn’t last for more than two words. The door bangs open with such a sound that you actually think he’s blasted it straight off his hinges. You gasp and shield yourself, jumping backwards and covering your face.

“‘Thought I made it clear by now that you can’t run. So why’d you try to leave? Huh? Think you’re smarter than me? You think you’re stronger than me?”

He’s stalking forward again, and you’re left tripping back over your feet and whimpering at his salacious intent as he backs you up and corners you into a stall.

He already knows the answers to his rhetorical questions but he wants to hear you say it. He wants to hear that scornful conviction in your voice about how big and bad he was that you used earlier.

With you tripping backwards into the cramped stall, his approach quickens in hunger at feeling you, feeling the fear radiating off your body.

Bakugo presses up against you against the wall and takes up the space around you, invading your personal bubble. He’s everywhere, growling in your ear, hands gripping your waist so tight you’re sure bruises sprout from his touch, his erect penis grinding on the inside of your thigh.

Your trepidation and terror rises to an insurmountable height as he smothers you.

When he suddenly grips your chin and forces your head to face him you gasp. His touch is even more callous than you thought.

“You lookin’ here bitch? Good.”

His palm is raised towards you and before you can even widen your eyes in realization his appendage starts sparking madly. You shriek and try to throw him loose as little bits of embers fly out and made your face, his voice rough as always yet dangerously low and soft.

“S’not so scary after all is it? You’re reacting better to it than I thought.” Bakugo Blanca you mocks your writhing figure as you desperately try to evade the mini explosions.

“Okay, I get it, please stop I don’t like it!” You shrilly cry out but his hand moves from your jaw down to your neck, and squeezes the last remnants of opposition out of you.

“Yeah? Good, I’m glad you get it. But honestly, I don’t care if you don’t like it.

Because I like it. I fucking love this quirk, ‘specially when you cower so prettily under it like you did earlier.”

You choke and try to scrabble at his hands but it’s like a butterfly’s touch to him, barely producing any fruition.

“I kept wondering to myself: why do I care if she’s scared of it? And then I realized,” he leans in and lets his lips brush over your ear, lets his hand lessen ever so slightly so that your main focus is his words.

“You just looked good enough to eat when you know you’re beneath me. When you know how dangerous I am.”

He pulls back and assesses the look on your face. “Makes you look good enough to eat.”

And without further ado he lowers his hand and starts rubbing his alit palm on your clothed pussy, his erection getting harder as your screams wilt into whines.

Your legs flail uselessly as he burns a hole through your pants and his fingers hook aside the band of your panties.

Bakugo thrusts his hips forwards and grinds his straining cock on your moist lips, taking in your blubbers and teary eyes.

You can’t even speak, you can only cry out like a child as he thrusts harder and harder, so hard that your back hits the wall painful and the stall walls rattle behind you.

“You-pant-fucking scared-pant-now slut?” He rasps, his head bobbing on rhythm with yours as he practically lifts you off your toes to match his pace.

Your clit is caught between the fabric and rolled cruelly pleasurable as his tip leaks precum, staining your own panties in the process.

With your attention rapt on his now-uncovered dick sliding in and out of your folds, he takes this opportunity to take his other hand off your neck and blast the wall next to your face.

The second you open your mouth in shock as bits of tile rain down on your face he slams his steaming palm over your lips, burning the soft flesh as you weep openly.

He sets off two more near your sides and another above your head, his own face aligned right in front of yours so you can see the mean smile on his face all the while he sets your heart racing at an alarming speed.

When the smoke clears and you can start feeling glass and tile imprint on your once-smooth face, he positions his dick up so that it prods at your hole and yanks your hair back.

His eyes practically glow with the mini fires preserved in the walls with his blasts, the impact of the air rushing around him makes his hair even spikier, his body is taunt and even more imposing than before.

His teeth gleam with the orange and red light next to you. His chest doesn’t heave, because he’s at ease with your terror.

“You think you know fear?”

With one swift movement he shoves up into you, but this time he doesn’t cover your mouth.

“You haven’t met me truly yet.”

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adorerdraco · 4 years

Text

It’s Only Quidditch ✧ Draco x Slytherin!Reader

Request: can i please request you and draco being in slytherin and dating for a while and you two are on the quidditch team with him so maybe you two are in a match together but you get hurt and he gets worried and has to win the game and visits you after and maybe even wrecks the person who hurt you hehe just fluff and angst

AU AROUND 6TH YEAR NO VOLDY

Warnings: angry!draco, vengeful!draco, VIOLENCE, kinda graphic details like blood and injuries, lil bit of angst

Words: 3.9K (love making these long for no reason)

A/N: ANGRY DRACO IS SO HOT IM SORRY WOW BUT I HOPE THIS IS GOOOOD PLEASE ENJOY MY MADE UP CHARACTER AND MY SUPER LONG QUIDDITCH GAME THAT CONFUSED ME AFTER A WHILE OF TRYING TO WRITE LMAO and i made gif :)

November had begun and with it came the new season of quidditch at Hogwarts along with very poor weather and over-bundling nerves. Tensions had always gotten high around this time of the year amongst the teams and all animosity between the house’s respective players was on the forefront as the competition was building. It was like clockwork every year; captain’s starting strenuous training schedules, begging Snape to help book the stadium even if it was already occupied, spying on other teams to figure out their strengths and weaknesses. Not to mention the arguments that would happen regularly in between the first couple of games when you and your teammates would be accused of cheating or using dangerous and illegal moves. Which did happen to be true most of the time.

It was safe to say that it was the most eventful time of the year, and as suffocating as it sometimes got - you looked forward to it every time the new term started. It was in quidditch that you found yourself feeling the freest in, zipping around the stadium in a flash of green with the wind blowing through your hair and crisp autumn air biting at your cheeks. But most notably, it was in quidditch that you met Draco Malfoy and had quickly evolved from teammates to friends, to him now being your boyfriend.

You made Slytherin’s team your second year as a Chaser, a shiny new broom being given to you on the first day of scheduled training when Lucius Malfoy had made a generous donation that came along with a new platinum blond seeker. With the two of you being the latest additions to the teams, your captain, Marcus Flint, had decided to leave the dirty work for the two of you to do in the downtime every one else was able to enjoy. Marcus never changed that as the years went on.

So you and Draco would be sent off to other teams’ practices nearly every other day or week, depending on how secure Flint was feeling, both of you huddling closely together for sometimes hours behind the thick wooden benches as you watched and studied tactics with conversations in between. You would joke around a lot and call him your partner in crime which he would always roll his eyes to and make a snide and playful comment about even if he secretly loved hearing it. And the two of you stayed partners in crime for a while, neither of you ever making any move towards the other besides lingering touches and longing looks, and very rarely, a shy compliment.

It wasn’t until last year when you were hiding behind the bleachers, bored out of your mind watching Ravenclaw have a flawless run through around the stadium when you were graced with the dumbest idea.

“They’re playing good today,” you drawled out, “too good that it’s boring.”

“You reckon they studied so hard and found the key to quidditch?” He snickered as he played around with a pebble on the ground with his wand.

“We should help them out,” you suggested as Draco turned to raise a puzzled eyebrow at you. “Prepare them for the unexpected, nothing too crazy.”

You took out your wand from your pocket and pointed it towards one of their Beaters that was sitting idly by on their broom, a faint “confundus” leaving your lips that caused the broom to jerk swiftly to the side and nearly topple over its rider.

“You’re a genius,” Draco laughed quietly, repositioning himself so that he was right beside you with his wand directed out into the field. He spotted one of the bludgers flying towards the same Beater and instead of colliding with the bat, he used a charm to direct it into the back of their broom and then doubled it back around to try and hit one of the passing by Chaser’s that moved at the very last minute.

You were a giggling mess, gripping tightly onto Draco’s arm as you watched everyone begin to look around wildly for the wild bludger with panicked expressions. What either of you didn’t realize in the middle of your joyed hysterics and Draco’s smugness for causing the angelic sounds, was that the bludger was flying idly still in front of the bleacher’s as his wand was still trained on it without moving it around anymore, his focus completely gone and concentrated on you.

It wasn’t until you heard someone yell out a, “Is that Malfoy and Y/L/N back there again?!” That made you get up with a sudden jolt, grabbing onto your accomplice’s hand as you ran towards the set of stairs that descended out of the stands. All you heard was distant angry insults and threats quickly fading out of ear-shot while you ran, laughing uncontrollably alongside Draco with his hand still tightly gripped in yours.

When you finally reached the entrance of the empty courtyard of the castle with flustered cheeks and wheezing chuckles, you looked down at your joined hands at the same time he did and after a few seconds of realization and lingering adrenaline, you quickly moved into each other with a yearning kiss that changed everything from that day forward.

Draco stood beside you while you sat on a bench outside the locker room, your head resting lazily on the side of his leg while his fingers carded soothingly through your hair. Marcus was pacing in front of you, using his broom as a walking and pointing stick whenever he wanted to add any calculated words to his very hostile pep-talks that left everyone feeling more irritated and stressed.

Today was the last game of the season and the most important, it was the game that ended the season with a shimmering Inter-House Quidditch Cup and it just so happened to be against Gryffindor, making the stakes much higher than they already were. The matches against Gryffindor were by far, the most dangerous as they weren't afraid to play roughly either if push came to shove. The determination to beat each other and to win was critical on both sides and the day always ended with some sort of injuries.

“I don’t care how dirty we have to play today,” Flint fumed to the team, “I don’t care how many fouls we get, as long as we win.”

“Relax, Flint,” you sighed deeply. “We have the best players on our team and we’ve been working our arses off all season, we’ll be fine.”

“Still, I want to see blood out there,” he muttered back, walking towards the entrance of the field as Madam Hooch started calling your team out to start.

You stood up with a huff, Draco frowning when he noticed how tense you looked when your eyes worriedly met his.

“All right, love?”

“I'm just nervous,” you shrug, “I don’t want to mess up.”

The silver-haired boy moved to stand in front of you, placing two strong hands on either side of your arms to stand you in place so that he would be the only thing your wandering eyes were able to focus on.

“You are the best Chaser that Slytherin has ever had, no, that Hogwarts has ever had and I know for a fact you’re going to do amazing out there,” he cups your face with care, brushing a few stray hairs out of your face as he spoke. “You’ve got this.”

He pressed an encouraging kiss onto your forehead and then your lips, smiling at you supportively before taking your hand and hurriedly walking the two of you out into the field where the match was about to start.

Almost the whole school had shown up in an overcrowded sea of red and gold for Gryffindor. There were red sparks and small fireworks of lions that were charmed to roar when the animal would open its mouth. On one end of the stands, however, was the entire student body of Slytherin that was throwing green and silver ribbons and sparklers from their wands, yelling loudly in support as if their life depended on it. Over the rails, they had thrown down a large poster of a snake that moved around sleekly over large green words that read, “SLYTHERIN FOR THE WIN.”

Rain was lightly drizzling from the grayed dense clouds above, a sharp chill in the air from an approaching winter that always seemed to give the worst weather during the last couple of games of the year. You didn’t mind it since the cold had always felt nice against your sweaty skin during the game and it served like a small revitalizing shock that gave you a surge of energy to push forward with.

Madam Hooch quickly went over the rules, set free the bludgers, and the snitch, forced the two captains, Wood and Flint, to shake hands and by the time she had counted down from three to one - brooms were soared into the sky with such speed it looked like a tornado had formed as she threw the quaffle up into the air.

A roar of cheers erupted from beside you as you got ahold of the quaffle, dashing past your House while you headed straight towards the Gryffindor’s goal post and managed to make the first shot in within the first five minutes of the game putting you at 10-0. You spotted Draco flying around above, smiling down brightly at you with triumph that only fueled your confidence as you darted forward to catch the ball again. You were, just as Draco had said, the best Chaser on the team and in all of the school. You were fast, agile, and smart when it came down to it and you were the reason why your team had easily wracked up 40 points with thirty minutes down in the match. Marcus was always trailing behind you with focus, shoving anyone who tried to get to you or pulling them back by their robes that landed Slytherin a couple of fouls throughout.

You didn’t like to play dirty, but when Katie Bell had rammed into your side either accidentally or on purpose, it knocked the quaffle out of your hands and into one of their other Chaser’s, Rowan Rees, a muscular and tall seventh-year boy that had made the team that same year. With Katie still closely trying to cut you off, you veered sharply into her with your shoulder before breaking away from her and heading towards your goal post where they were trying to shoot.

“ILLEGAL PUSHING FROM Y/L/N, FOUL AGAINST SLYTHERIN!”

You rolled your eyes at the announcer, completely ignoring the boo’s that had filled the air as you whizzed past the other houses even though it was you who got hit first. Just as Rees had raised his arm to score, you flew over him, swooping your arm underneath your broom until you felt the quaffle back in your palm and ripped it from his grasp. The match was becoming more intense by the second, Gryffindor was promptly catching up in points because of the penalties they were awarded from the illegal moves your team was making and it left you feeling more pressured that it was nearly a tie now, Flint reminded you of that every chance he zoomed past you.

Unbeknownst to you, Draco was watching you cautiously from across the field most of the game when he noticed how close everyone was trying to get to you. You didn’t see the way you were almost tugged back multiple times or were missed by inches when someone was about to push you. Or how the Beaters were deliberately directing the bludgers in your direction. You also didn’t see how irked you had made Rees with your constant scoring and with the sporadic few times you had cut him off or almost bumped into him - but your boyfriend did, and he was much more focused on your safety now than the Golden Snitch he or Potter hasn’t spotted yet. Instead of searching for it, he was purposefully maneuvering himself around in front of the other Chasers to throw them off their focal point towards you so that you would have a clearer path to fly through.

He watched as you pulled your broom upwards to try and twist away from the area but Rees had reached out and pulled at your ankle, sending you out of your seat as the quaffle fell while you tried to rebalance yourself. That was all the encouragement the blond needed when he hurtled down into the mess, kicking at the back of Rees’ broom and sending him quickly spinning on a dive before he could try and move any further.

“FOUL AGAINST REES AND MALFOY FOR KICKING AND TUGGING!”

“MALFOY!” Flint roared as he flew past, “Potter’s spotted the snitch! This isn’t your place, get out of here, NOW!”

And when he looked up, sure enough, Harry was going around desperately with an arm outstretched towards the small glint of gold that was moving too fast.

“Go, I’m fine!” You shouted out to him when you flew back up with the ball back in your arms.

It was like slow motion when he forced himself to leave your surroundings, everything around him was moving fast and intensely with everyone screaming wildly that he couldn’t think straight. In a daze, he haphazardly sped towards Harry but noticed the panicked look on the seeker’s face when he had lost sight of it again which directed his attention right back to you. You were right in front of the Gryffindor goal post, arm stretched over your head and releasing the quaffle with a harsh throw.

“Y/L/N MAKES THE GOAL, TEAMS ARE AT A TIE-”

It wasn’t until the very last minute that everyone, including you, had realized the flash of red that came hurtling into your side at full speed, Rees colliding so loudly with you that it echoed around the stadium in a powerful clang and crack.

Draco watched in horror as you were thrown off your broom, your now unconscious body falling like a rag doll with a speed that sent his stress levels into overdrive. He had never pushed down on his broom so fast, immediately abandoning his spot to bolt towards you even as Marcus was screaming at him to not go.

A few feet above the ground and before you met it, he managed to loop his arm around your waist and heave you onto the front of his broom with a slight struggle as it was now raining hard and clouding his vision. He saw Madam Pomfrey and Mcgonagall rushing into the field, hands holding tightly onto their hats as they worriedly rushed towards the area where your broom had fallen and where Draco was hovering over with you.

“TEAMS ARE TAKING A 10 MINUTE TIME OUT!”

Marcus had flown down towards him, face twisted in fury and annoyance as he approached.

“Is there a reason you’re not being a seeker, today?” He spits, “because I’ve been seeing you do everything but your job.”

“My bloody girlfriend just got knocked out!” Draco seethed at him. “I’m not going back into the game, I’m going with her to the hospital wing.”

“Like hell you are,” Flint scowled, “if you leave, you'll forfeit us the game. If you stay and let Potter catch that Snitch so it’ll be over quicker, I will personally make sure that this is your last year on the team. You’re going to win this for us.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” McGonagall called up to him, waving her arms hastily. “She needs to go to the infirmary, immediately!”

The two Slytherins were staring each other down aggressively as Draco contemplated the threat he was just given. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to throw a hex at Flint and leave with you, but he just swallowed thickly and nodded at him before descending towards the ground and letting you off carefully into the hands of Madam Pomfrey. A surge of fear ran through his body when he finally saw you clearly; a harsh red mark was making its way up to your neck, the corner of your bottom lip had split and doubled in size, there was a small scratch on your cheekbone. It made him feel queasy, but he tore his eyes away from you and hopped back onto his broom while glaring angrily at Marcus and the distant group of huddled Gryffindor’s.

He was blinded in rage when the match resumed and even more enraged when Flint had cheered loudly when the announcer granted Slytherin a penalty for the injury Rees gave you, allowing them basically to get a free score in against Gryffindor. Draco let his eyes wander around for the snitch for the first time that day and he could hear his heart thundering in his eardrums in distress as the rain continued to make his search worse. All he wanted was to get out of the game to check up on you, and then he'd come back to the stadium to throw his fists into Rees’ face with maybe a few hits in on Marcus.

Just as he was losing hope, he saw a flash of gold whiz past him with a loud buzzing that shocked him into alertness. He didn’t care that catching the snitch would win the game, or the cup, or give him all the glory, no - this was his ticket out. He dived towards it with his arm outstretched, hand thrashing around in the wind as he tried to eagerly catch it. In seconds, Harry was right beside him, bumping him with his shoulder to try and throw him off the path but Draco only pushed back harder. There was a flurry of shouting as everyone watched, the announcer was yelling into the mic about the seekers going head-to-head, bludgers were flying past him.

It was pure chaos and urgency, Draco could feel the fluttering of its wings beneath his palm and when Harry pushed into him one more time, he felt the coldness of the Snitch get trapped into his enclosed hand, the vibration of its wings sending a current of relief up his arm that spread throughout his whole body as he soared up into the sky while brandishing it to the schools’ painfully watchful eyes.

“MALFOY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH, WINNING SLYTHERIN THIS YEAR’S INTER-HOUSE QUIDDITCH CUP!”

Draco hurriedly made his way down to the field where the rest of his house was pooling into, celebrating proudly and calling out for him to praise, but when he landed on the ground and was met with half of the Gryffindor team including Rowan Rees - all his wrath came flooding back into him.

Angelina, another Gryffindor Chaser, had nudged Rowan with her shoulder, pointing towards the Slytherin Prince that was stalking towards them.

“Malfoy,” Rees started bitterly, “sorry about the girlfriend, I was only trying to knock the quaffle out her hands.”

“After she had already thrown it?” He glowered, walking closer up to the boy that was beginning to straighten himself out and flex. “Looked a little personal seeing how she was dragging you through the dust the whole game.”

“Accidents happen, mate,” Rees shrugged, “it’s only quidditch, you won didn’t you? Maybe you should be thanking me for giving you that extra push to win the game.”

A clear line had been crossed and everyone who was listening knew it. But before Rowan could say anything to try and drag himself out of the hole he had just dug himself into, he was being tackled into the ground with Draco above him throwing punches wherever he could land them. There was loud hooting and laughing coming from the Slytherins that gathered around the fight, cheering loudly for their House superior.

Rees was thrashing around on the ground, trying frantically to throw off the extremely infuriated boy that was repeatedly pounding into his face with bloodied and bruised fists. Oliver Wood ran up to the sudden brawl, Fred and George following closely behind him as they all started trying to rip the fighting boy’s apart from each other. Oliver had gotten Draco off briefly, allowing Rees to try and get a hit in but it was dodged at the last second as the blond quickly leaped up to his feet. The fight immediately ended when a muddy shoe had collided with Rowan’s jaw and Draco stepped back satisfied with the damage he had done, roughly shrugging off the grip Oliver still had on his arm.

“It’s only quidditch, right?” He spat venomously from above the Gryffindor who was holding his now battered face in pain. “That’ll teach you from putting your hands on a woman too.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” Madam Hooch bellowed as she broke through the crowd in a frenzy. “50 points from Slytherin, go wait outside Professor Snape’s office for further punishment, go right now!”

Draco did go, and instantly, but he didn’t go down to the dungeons to hear about the lengthy detention that he knew he was going to get and the scolding for being reckless and stupid. His feet carried his sore body up the many stairs that led to the hospital wing, his pace picking up swiftly when he saw the large double doors of the infirmary ajar and he was able to hear a faint and familiar voice speaking indistinctly.

He threw open the doors, walking straight in as if he owned the place and ignored Pomfrey’s requests for him to leave as he made a beeline towards your hunched figure that was facing away from him.

“I need to see her,” he said to the nurse quickly when she stopped in front of him. “I’ll leave soon, please.”

At the sound of his voice, you hastily turned around in your spot to face him, a yelp escaping your lips for moving too quickly through your injuries. Pomfrey stepped out of the way with a sigh allowing Draco to jog over to you.

“I’m going to kill him,” he scowled when he reached you. You were wearing a sling, a deep purple and yellowed bruise quickly set itself over the side of your arm and the same cuts he saw from earlier were still scattered over your features. His fingers ghosted over your skin and he let out a deep shaky exhale of anxiousness before moving his thumb up to graze your cheek tenderly.

“What happened to you?” You asked quietly in shock when you noticed his mud-splattered clothes and tattered fists.

“Long story,” he drawled. “Don’t worry about me, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” you muttered with a slight shrug that made you whimper lightly. “Did we win?”

He nodded quietly, his eyes still scanning sadly over your face with a frown. “I swear, I’m going to kill him.”

“Only if I can help,” you sniggered faintly, trying to make light of the situation and succeeding in doing so when you saw he had cracked a small smile. With his hand still on your cheek, he bent down to press a firm kiss on the top of your hair and then warmly on the side of your mouth that wasn’t bleeding.

“I’ll just let you finish him off then,” he mulled amusingly when he pulled away.

“Finish him off?”

The doors of the hospital wing were thrown open again, a sea of red flowing inside as they carried in a pummeled Rowan with a busted lip, bloodied nose, black eye, and deeply bruised jaw. You looked briskly between Rees and Draco, both of them staring daggers at each other and it rapidly clicked in your mind why your boyfriend had looked like he just walked through a battlefield in your absence.

“Oh.”

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knjoodles · 3 years

Text

sallang; taehyung | 01

pairing: singlefather!taehyung x reader

genre: fluff

recommended song: come on get higher by matt nathanson

word count: 2K

warnings/author’s note: this first chapter is slightly suggestive. nothing that i’d consider smut-worthy, but a warning never hurts! i’m also starting this as a mini-series, with short chapters and an overall short story. glad to be back!

summary: handsome, intelligent, fashionably late: taehyung seems to be a total package, and you’re all for it. that is, until his rain-checks and delayed appearances become so frequent that you feel left in the dark. what could he possibly be hiding?

sallang - a word describing the manner of the wind blowing lightly.

lowercase intended

this is a major waste of my time is what you thought as you rhythmically tapped your fingers against the clothed wooden table of a local restaurant, your knee bouncing impatiently against the floor, your free hand holding your head, glancing around in pure boredom. with how much time you’d spent staring at the wall beside you, you’d probably noted every color its paint compiled. it was your first date with a man from tinder who you realized was way out of your league — and you began to fear that he realized it way before you did.

snaking your phone from your back pocket, leg still bouncing, a deep sigh escaping your lips, you opened his profile once again. “kim taehyung, twenty-five, huh?” you filed through his tab once again, mumbling as you read. “likes reading, going to the beach… do you like being late, too?” you hissed, “because, from the looks of it, its like you get off on—”

“excuse me?”

your thoughts of innermost annoyance suddenly subsided at the sound of a deep, masculine voice from above you. your head darted upwards to find none other than kim taehyung standing in black slacks with a complementary white shirt to match, his chest rising and falling, almost like he’d run to your date. “are you (y/n)? i’m taehyung… from tinder?” his eyebrow pricked up as he finished his sentence, an embarrassed smile cracking across his face. you stared at him for a moment, taking in the man standing before you. (y/n)? upset at kim taehyung? never. seeing him in person, you’d almost completely forgotten you were irritated.

“yeah, that’s me. have a seat,” you smiled awkwardly, chuckling softly. you watched as taehyung hooked his casual blazer, previously wrung lazily around his arm, onto his chair. he sat down quietly, moving his seat closer to the table, adjusting his glasses and jet black hair. a moment of silence fell between the two of you, taehyung picking up his menu to appear preoccupied in the dinner menu. you smiled to yourself, catching glimpses of his eyes blinking rapidly as he excitedly scanned the text, a habit that’d already made itself known. you began to notice how he’d glance up at you every so often, chewing his lip, flustered, almost as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words to do it.

“i’m sorry for being so late,” he admit, sighing. “i had something to take care of earlier, and it took a lot longer than i’d hoped,” he set his menu down, toying with its edge with his finger. “i...” he paused, “i apologize. i know it must’ve been inconvenient for you.” you took this moment to eye taehyung's hands, slender and dainty, his fingers long and adequate.

you laughed at his slightly frantic tone. “it’s fine, don’t worry about it. you’re here now, right? let’s focus on that. you wanna tell me a little more about yourself, ot should i go first?” you assured, smiling comfortingly. “your bio only tells me so much.”

“uh, okay!” he nodded, resting his hands on the table. “well, i’m taehyung, i recently received my bachelor’s and i’m aiming for a phd in english, i don’t care for coffee all that much, i love pretty much all animals you can find, and… i’m 5’11".” he introduced himself with detail as he adjusted the cuffs of his shirt, pulling them up to only reach past his elbows. “how about you?”

“oh, my turn?” you questioned, earning a giggle from the man facing you. “i guess it’s only fair. i’m (y/n), i’m pursuing law as of now, we can lay low on coffee if you’d like — i don’t really mind. i like going on simple dates, i love music recommendations, i love musicians, and i’m significantly shorter without these heels on.” you finished, content that either taehyung had a really bad sense of humor or that your finishing line made a better impression than you’d thought it ever could.

“does this fulfill your requirement of a simple date?” taehyung inquired playfully, lightly patting the table.

“it does,” you replied, tone flirtatious. you noticed taehyung eyebrow raise and jaw tighten at your response as he cracked a smirk, entertained at the shift in energy. that look jumbled your insides, but there was no time for that. you expelled those thoughts from your mind as you cleared your throat, silently scolding yourself. your moment was interrupted by a waitress, the same one who’d pitifully watched you poke at the complimentary sourdough bread slices with an empty seat in front of you. offering to kindly take your menus and your orders, the two of you obliged. as she scurried away from your table, a notepad with messy handwriting scribbled across it dangling from her waist apron, you turned back to taehyung, whose eyes were glued to you, one of his hands caught in his hair as he ran a hand through it. “hey,” he muttered, his voice deep, his eyebrow habitually twitching upwards once more. was he trying to make you unravel in the middle of your date?

“oh my god,” you laughed, trying to shake off how flustered you were. “you can’t just do that and expect me to be okay!” you joked.

“do what?” he chuckled in return. “the deep voice? i can’t control that; it just happens sometimes,” he smiled at his lap, looking back up at you soon after. “you said you were interested in musicians?”

“i mean, it’s not a necessity, but yeah, i find musicians especially interesting.” you explained, reaching for your glass of cold water, ice half melted.

“i don’t want to brag, but when i was in high school, i was in a band.” he grinned as your jaw dropped. your mind raced with thoughts of how flawless he was, from how well he dressed to how every secret of his made him ten times more attractive. “it was just seven of us, seven of my friends. some would rap, some would sing. i was a singer, and i was really invested in the group. after we all graduated, the group kind of fell out, but we’re all still friends. cool, huh? i would play a little bit of everything, from piano to guitar. more piano, though.” he added, tilting his glass of water towards you, his attractive grin infectious.

“that’s crazy,” you gasped, leaning forward in your chair. “ever thought of getting the band back together? you’ve got the looks!”

“the looks?” he repeated, laughing excitedly. “you’re giving me too much credit here, (y/n),”

“i don’t think you’re giving yourself enough,” you replied, raising your eyebrows, challenging his humble temperament.

the two of you dined contentedly, taehyung's charismatic personality and contagious smile catching you every time. the conversation, surprisingly, were never boring, they flowed into one another the way good friends converse after not seeing each other for a long time. his mannerisms and aura struck you as welcoming and comforting, as if he was a bright, warm light you wanted to step into. he was safety embodied, he was a simple, gentle man, with kindness and love pouring out of his soul. to your multiple objections, taehyung covered the bill, still feeling guilty over arriving late. a part of you inexplicably pitied him; you felt as though you should’ve at least pitched in half. it may have just been your morals being challenged, but you almost felt obligated to pay him back.

dusting off his trousers, taehyung arose from his chair, your date coming to a close. a wave of childish frustration fell over you: you didn’t want it to end, not yet! to your surprise, he glided to your side of the table, chivalrously offering his hand to help you up. you smiled and took his hand graciously, his endless good-natured acts perplexing you. who was this guy? other than being late, was there really a flaw?

as you arose from your seat, you decided the answer to the latter question was no. this was absolutely the best date you’d ever been on: he wasn’t obnoxious, he wasn’t boisterous, he didn’t ask you for anything afterwards… you’d been with your fair share of unforgettably horrible men. taehyung was different, though: it wasn’t that he was just more decent than the men you’d previously gone out with, it was his aura, his persona, it was something above physicality that made you fall for him more than you thought you should.

“thank you for the lunch,” you smiled graciously as he accompanied you out of the restaurant, opening the door for you as well. “this was really enjoyable! i hope we can do this again soon.”

“me too! thank you for being so nice to me despite me being late.” he returned your kind grin before grasping for his buzzing phone in his pocket, pulling it out to check an apparent text. “i, uh…” he swallowed, now visibly anxious. “would you like me to walk you to your car?” his tone completely different from his physical state.

“i’m just over there!” you motioned to your car, stammering, confused by his sudden shift in energy. “if you have something important to get to, you go ahead!” he relaxed slightly, thanking you kindly and pulling you into a warm embrace. it felt shocking, but not in a bad way — his very intimidatingly handsome appearance contrasted with how gentle he had been with you. should you have liked him this much on the first date alone?

“i’ll see you soon! i can text you my number on tinder later. thank you again!” he jogged backwards, still making eye contact before he finished his statement, where he then turned completely and began dashing towards his car. you found him charming and funny and it made you smile.

spinning on your heel to walk towards your car, you spun the chain of your car keys on your finger, the thought of taehyung still with you. he’d been perfect: good-hearted, humble, witty… you could go on. you sat quietly in the front seat of your car, thumbing the leather of your steering wheel. part of this felt very suspicious — how could someone be this perfect? how could someone be this enjoyable, this wonderful, this considerate? you didn’t want to feel this way about him as he felt wholly genuine, but you couldn’t ignore the feeling of possibly being lied to. was he messing with you? he absolutely could be. what would you know?

you'd thought yourself into a corner. suddenly, you felt very bad, sitting alone in your car in a silent parking lot. you closed your eyes tightly and sighed loudly, trying to expel as much upset as you could from your body. you’d just had an amazing date! you shouldn’t be feeling this bad afterwards. taking a moment to collect yourself once more, you started your car, dusting yourself off before driving yourself home, the scent of taehyung’s faint cologne lingering in your mind.

i missed u guys :}. enjoy this piece from me!

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usakiboi · 3 years

Text

Got a list of fic ideas collecting dust because I suck at writing, if there’s any Sakuhina or Sasuhina fans who are experiencing writers block I got you

Sasuhina 🖤💜

Hinata searches for a reason to die but instead gets a boyfriend in return

After the death of her husband, Hinata Uzumaki is left fending for herself and two children. What’s a single mother to do than get a job, though she may have taken the wrong path

-sugar daddy

-boruto kiddies

-Divorced Sakura and Sasuke

-Sakulee (you can change this if you want)

-Sarada plays soccer

Bonus: “God I should have listened to my parents, this marriage was a lost dream and gave nothing in return...” Sakura groaned

“I wouldn’t say that, I did enjoy your company despite your constant talking....plus something good DID come out of it.” Sasuke held amusement in his voice and pointed towards Sarada

The girl ran across the field like lightning, she slid pass the other girls and as she reached the goal she pulled her leg back “CHA!” the ball flew so fast Sakura could have sworn she saw fire come from it. As the ball made impact with the goal the two parents had the pleasure of seeing their daughters victory dance “Uh-huh! Oh yea! I did that! Uchiha princess, Sarada Uchia BABY!”

“I Hate My Husband”

Hinata and Sasuke are married and she can’t stand him

“26 and Lonely”

Sasuke and Hinata are unexpectedly transferred to modern society to apparently help themselves get together. The only problem is that they’re both losers and seem to hate each other

-Hinata is a game addict, anime fan, and often cosplays

-Sasuke is hella emo and also a game addict, huge nerd

-They both are very different from the past Hinata and Sasuke

-Sasuke wears really nerdy glasses

-Bully Naruto and Sakura

-Hinata slowly picks up the modern day lingo

-26 year old virgin Sasuke

Hinata Hyuuga, pure blue blood, childhood best friend of Sasuke Uchiha, and certified bitch. Cheating, OOC, daddy’s money

Hinata is a spirit medium in training and comes across a spirit that can’t seem to rest until her last wish is fulfilled which leads her to befriending Sasuke Uchiha.

Someone’s been leaving lunch boxes out for Sasuke and he’s determined to figure out who

-Kiddie fic

Sasuke somehow gets magical powers after eating a plum from a strange women, the only problem is that he takes a less than desirable form when he wants to use them

-Magical girl Sasuke

-Yes he becomes a girl

-Hinata has a crush on girl sasuke

Sasuke is prince trapped in a birds body and his need a princess to kiss his damn beak to save him

Hinata Hyuuga and Sasuke Uchiha two of the richest children in Japan attend Konoha High as the school’s top students. One is a known delinquent and the other is a class president..or at least that’s how people see her

-Future Mafia leader! Hinata

-Sasuke is her lackey

-They’re often seen together

-Badass Hinata

-Smiles when she taunts her victims

-Sasuke is lowkey creeped out by her

The Hyuga family known for their tech and booming businesses are one of the richest family in the world, but is that really where they’re getting all their income from. Sasuke Uchiha doesn’t believe so and with the help of his brother and family police business he plans to bring to light the dirty ways of the Hyuuga...you know...if the heiress doesn’t blow his head off first

Sakuhina 💖💜

Sakura is a football player, Ino is her cute cheerleader friend/crush, and Hinata is the new girl who she bullies

-Sakura plays with the boys team

-Wallflower Hinata, wears sweaters and long skirts and glasses

-Mean girl Ino

-Mean girl Karin

-Hinata can fight (it’s what gets Sakura to notice her)

-Set in America

Sakura is a fitness trainer and while Hinata enjoys yoga she wouldn’t mind having the woman spot her once or twice

Hinata is a good mother and a good wife, she just so happens to have a few health problems and she just so happens to only want one doctor to look after her. It wasn’t anything serious

Tired of their husbands absence, Hinata and Sakura confide in each other for consolation

Pissed off by their father’s lack of attention, Boruto and Sarada decided to set up their mothers

Sakura can’t help that she had a crush, Hinata was nice, Naruto didn’t notice the girl and Sasuke rejected her. Neither had a man, it was bound to happen.

Sakura finally understands why she’s fascinated by big boobs (Rated M)

Hinata is a witch and she has a crush on a human girl

Sakura couldn’t believe it. A mermaid. She found a mermaid! A busty mermaid.

Hinata has always had a thing for muscles

Hinata has an amazing body and Sakura gladly reminds her.

Hinata and her husband has a secret. (Crossdresser! Sakura) (Victorian era)

Normally witches have black cats yet Hinata has a pink one

Your Choice

Sarada has anger issues and Sakura and Sasuke take her to a specialist to figure out the root of the cause and see if they can fix it. Luckily the woman is pretty cute.

-Child psychologist Hinata

-Humor/Romance

-Sarada overshares a lot and changes the subject quickly

Team 7 is sent on a mission to protect the Hyuuga Heriesses on their way to a diplomatic meeting

Hinata is the chosen holy priestess yet unfortunately she sucks at what she does

-Twin sisters, Shion and Hinata

-They’ve been locked up for years

-Hanabi loves her sisters when she meets them

-Hiashi redemption?

-Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura are left to watch over them

Hinata, Naruto, Sasuke, and Gaara are officially the four great priest of their world after the demise of the previous. Unfortunately they were still in training so they have...a lot to work on

-Water priest Hinata/Wind priest Naruto/Fire priest Sasuke/Earth priest Gaara

-Sakura is a bodyguard for Hinata

-Comedy Rated T

Hinata plays mom for a very sick Team 7

Sakura has a crush on two dark haired beauties

#sakuhina #sasuhina #crackshipping #fanfic #fic ideas

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iwhishtomeetinournextlife · 3 years

Text

An anonymous love (Part 1)

Summary : Y/N sees Sirius Black running away after a particulary rough letter from his mother. She wants to cheer him up and decide to send him a letter, anymously, she knows how much he hates her house.

Warnings : Slytherin!Reader, female!reader, reader is worried about Sirius, not proof read

Word count : 1.8k

English is not my first language, sorry if there is any mistakes

You're here - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

----------------------------------------------

Y/N loved receiving letters but even more sending them, she loved including all sorts of little gifts in hers; flowers, drawings, photographs, candies sometimes, she loved it even more now she was a witch, she started doing experiments with her magic. She learned how to make the drawings moves, charms the flowers so they would reopen as fresh as new, she even found a way for the letter to be read out loud if desire, in a way were it doesn’t fold and destroy itself the ways howlers do, so it could be listen to over and over again, her family especially loved that one.

She wanted to see now if could even include kisses, or even hugs, the feeling of arm wrapping around you to squeeze you tight was one of the best feeling to her and she wanted to be able to send it to anyone, so they could feel it whenever they wanted.

She was able to put the hugs and the kisses on little cards who had to be unfold, it took many mistake, accidents and retry but she was able to do it after some times. It wasn’t as reusable has she had hoped, only three uses who doesn’t last more than five seconds, but she was confident enough to know she will do better in the future.

She had send her last version to her parents a few days ago, one she was the proudest of, and was now waiting for their respond. Making sure everything was perfect was important as the first time she tried to do it the message felt like a dagger stabbing her chest. Thankfully she had no injuries, Mrs Pomfrey assured her there were nothing, the pain stayed a few hours though and she could have kissed the nurse for excusing her from the morning class that day, she would have not been able to work anyway.

Y/N was now waiting at the slytherin table next to the few friends she was able to make among her own house, quietly eating while listening to the crazy story of the friend on her right, laughing joyfully. She turned her head when she saw the owls starting to enter the room, eager to find if she will receives the respond of her parents, she watch as the other student opened their own mail, including the raven-haired boy at the gryffindor table, Sirius Black.

He had catch the eye of Y/N like many others, girls and boys, but she never dared to make a move, she was a slytherin and she knew how much he hated them. She had thought many times to send him an anonymous later but what for ? It would be a lost cost and she rather let the feeling die rather than being hurt. Well, at least she thought her feelings would disappear as time went by but she was incredibly wrong, it only got more intense.

Being in most of his classes was of no help, his cocky behavior, his stunning looks and charming smile. What bugged her the most was how brilliant he was, she never saw him study or even really paid good attention in class but was somehow able to earn good marks. She was a bit jealous of him for that if she was honest with herself, she wasn’t a bad student per say but did have to be focused and study to have good grades. They talked a few times before, mostly him helping her out with classes but he was nothing but nice and patient with her despote the green of her tie.

She fell for him even more when she saw him helping first years travelling the corridors and defending a third year against her bully, the punch was perfectly aimed for Merlin’s sake ! She loved every story he told her, all the pranks, the aventures, the quidditch match. The more she learned about him, the more difficult it was for her to keep her eye away from him.

“You’re drooling again”, Jacob snapped her out of her mind “ ‘m not !” swipping her lips just to be sure, making her friends laugh, she was red of embarassment, so out she hadn’t notice the owl giving her her parent’s letter. She gratefully took it before giving a bit of food to the owl who then flied away. Y/N got interrupt has she was opening the enveloppe.

“C’mon, you cant’ keep looking at him from afar for the rest of school ! Talk to him for once and save us the lover eyes !” said Olivia, “I can’t, you know he hates slytherins” her friend opened her mouth to protest before being cut. “Plus, he is way out of my league, he is like-" Y/N hesited a bit on her words, waving her hand around “- a sun giving life around him and I’m just somekind of, I don’t know, insect in the dirt”. Her friends around all gave a chorus of long sighs, they heard that a million times before, she rolled her eyes “My point is, I will never have the courage to ask him out”.

Before anyone could talk, a loud sound was heard comming from the gryffindor table, followed by the sound of turn up paper. When Y/N looked, she frowned, seeing Sirius almost running out of the room. “Wait mate !” James Potter, his best friend, tried to follow him but Remus Lupin stopped him. Y/N didn’t quite catch what they were saying, something about him needing to be alone.

And alone he stayed, she didn’t see him for the rest of the day, and she learned during the dinner that night it was because of the letter he received from home, it was quite known by most of the people who cared enough to be aware of the disastrous relationship of Sirius and his family, as it wasn’t unusual to see the boy upset because of his mother. Y/N’s blood boiled every time it would happened, how could someone treat their child that way ? Taking their time to write every horrid words just to cause pain ? Using something she loved so much to cause trouble instead as it should be : for the one you loved.

The scene earlier that day worked her up so much, she put her parent’s latter away without reading it, and it is only now in her bed she remembered even having it. She smiled at the curved letters, it was her mother’s handwritting, she very enthousiatly explain how her and her dad loved the hug, that coupled with the speaking spell “It was like you were right here with us !”, well not quite as she precised right after, but it felt nice to feel and hear their daughter after so many weeks apparts. She laughted when her father this time wrote she should find a way to commercial it, as she will become the richest witch of the wizard world. “Sure thing dad” she thought to herself. She carefully fold the paper before putting it in her “letter box”.

Then when she laid down, she couldn’t stop feeling sad for Sirius, he had such terrible parents but deserved so much more. She turned and turned and turned around in her bed, searching for a way to cheer him up and then she stopped, thinking of the letter of her parents and the success of the hug in the message, perhaps, she could send him something ..? She blushed at the idea, what could she says ? “Hey, your parents suck but your butty could send me in outter space”, sure, yeah, what a great idea Y/N.

She sighed, fine, maybe not that harsh but she could try to remind him how much is he loved here and how much of a great person he is. So she sat down in her bed, took a piece of parchment, her ink and her quill, careful to not wake up her roomates as she closed her curtains. She blow air through her mouth for a minute, gathering some courage, and then she start to write, hoping he would like it.

----------------------------------------------------

The next day when she woke up, or more like when it was time to get ready since she didn’t close her eye all night, wanting the message to be perfect : the drawing, an illustration of a dog, a stag, a rat and the moon, remembering the nickname and the jokes the marauders gave and made to eachothers, she charmed it for the little animals to run around the paper, leaving paws or hooves print behind –which disappear after a few step of course-, the curves of the words, the ink, she had opt for her favorite dark purple, the flowers had she picked, some wind-flower and cyclamen, that she carefully stuck to the parchment.

And of course the final touch : a kiss on the forhead. She had thought of a hug but decided it was too much, it could be scary to suddenly feels arms around you. A smol kiss was more appropriate, a bit bold yeah, but more fleeting, less intimidating and still a tender gesture.

When she was happy with the result and check any error in her words she put the message in an envelopt, decorated with stars, showing the cannis constellation, because of Sirius name obviously. And then put it in her bag, careful so her friend would not see it.

Once she was ready and out of her room with her friends, she realised she had no idea on how to give it to him. Surely not by hand, she didn’t put her name anywhere for a reason, maybe slide it into his bag during class ? But she was to scared to be caught.

She didn’t have to worry about it to much, since Sirius wasn’t at the class she shared with him, his friends looked troubled and worried, calmer than usual. Y/N felt a weight setting in her stomach, was the letter that bad he didn’t want to show up today either ? When he wasn’t at lunch either, she decided to send him by owl.

She excused herself from her friend, saying she had to send a letter, it wasn’t unusual for her to do so, so they didn’t even flinch. Once at the owl aviary and once she gave it to an owl and walked away, trying not to think to much, she stop. What if the letter only made him more upset ? Of course nothing she wrote was mean, but what if he didn’t like at all the idea of some unknown person looking in his private life ? Feeling arrogant enough to think they could cheer him up when his friends, those whom he consider family, weren’t able to do it ? Y/N turned around to take the letter back but it was too late, the bird had fly away, and since he was at hogwarts, he will have it in a few minutes only.

She felt the weight in her stomach get heavier, she hoped so much it will not make things worse.

--------------------------

Hoped you liked my first fic ! I don't know when the second part will be posted but I'll do my best for it to be soon.

Have a nice day ! Love you <3

#sirius black x reader #marauders x reader #An anonymous lover #Sirius Black #sirius x reader

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nvrlostword · 3 years

Text

cookie run kingdom au bc i’m out of control

ok first of all the kid cookies legally cannot go on missions

chili pepper (though she generally hates rules) established this rule after stage 2-18 when she saw the jelly worm get turned into a dragon and thought maybe this wasn’t the best environment for children

soon after this snow sugar and alchemist run into espresso and are like “wow! a magic cookie! will you come live in our kingdom?!”

espresso agrees because he’s a big softie for kids deep down because he’s been roaming around studying magic for a little while now and it would be nice to have a place to settle down and maybe start up a coffee magic school

of course as soon as they reach the kingdom gate, who else would be there but madeleine cookie

espresso: i need to leave immediately

espresso does consider booking it but alchemist seems so eager to learn magic from him and how could he break his promise to snow sugar to live in her kingdom

meanwhile madeleine, who’s been in the kingdom for a little while now, is surprised to see that one guy from the republic again so he waves cheerfully at espresso and espresso just. walks past him. not even acknowledged

espresso hopes that he won’t have to interact with madeleine much and he can just ignore him. unfortunately, the only house available is the one next to madeleine’s (because madeleine’s house gives off a blinding aura that makes it hard for other cookies to sleep at night, thus no one wants to live next to him except angel cookie, who’s his neighbor on the other side)

regret.png

at DAWN the next day madeleine’s at espresso’s door. espresso (regrettably) answers after like two and a half hours of madeleine standing there at his door, knocking

madeleine asks espresso to join the exploration team and espresso slams the door in his face

madeleine continues to talk to espresso through the door and espresso makes a note to ask the sugar gnomes to install a thicker door

the only reason espresso eventually agrees is because snow sugar asks him to

so when espresso joins, he’s not terribly surprised that the team is a mess (because why else would madeleine, of all people, ask him to join- he must have been desperate), but he didn’t expect it to be... well, as much of a mess as it was. we’ve got madeleine (strong but stupid), avocado (who’s okay at combat but really is a lot better at weaponsmithing), angel (who sometimes does healing magic but more often than not just focuses on making a glowing aura around madeleine), and vampire (does he even do anything???).

madeleine is so happy to have a cookie that’s competent in combat that he gives espresso one of those friendly pats on the back except he’s too overexcited and ends up knocking espresso over

espresso: *long sigh*

so a couple days later espresso is like “why tf is chili pepper cookie not on our combat team???”

turns out chili pepper and madeleine had a disagreement about the morality of stealing and chili pepper refused to do combat for the kingdom ever since

espresso comes in and smooths things over and chili pepper replaces vampire cookie in the exploration team, a change which makes everyone happier

then they meet rye cookie during the chilirye quests

episode 4 and the beginning of episode 5 are kind of rough for our exploration team bc they’re being chased by both licorice and rye cookie

but when they get to pomegranate village and rye hears the whole thing about dark enchantress cookie coming to take over the world, rye begrudgingly agrees to work with the team and avocado goes back to working at the kingdom forge

thus, an epic slow burn chilirye romance begins

the same thing has been happening with espresseleine but like stupidly slow

lore time: ok so in my mind dark magic and black magic are two different things. black magic is like the evil stuff dark enchantress uses, and it’s just one branch of dark magic (coffee magic would be another branch of dark magic), but a lot of cookies get the two confused and so dark mages are looked at as evil

what does this have to do with anything, you ask? well, it just so happens that madeleine and espresso did, in fact, meet once before when they were kids. madeleine was afraid of espresso bc he practiced “black” magic and ran away from him

madeleine doesn’t remember this interaction. espresso does.

it was espresso’s first experience with cookies mistaking him for a black mage, and it wouldn’t be the last, especially from light mages. this is part of why he’s so dedicated to his studies- to prove that not all dark magic is bad

so as the group travels together, they all realize some things. chili pepper and rye realize they’re not so different after all, espresso and madeleine (respectively) realize that dark and light magic (and each other) aren’t so bad, and angel cookie realizes she’s surrounded by gay cookies

everything goes great until 7-25. you remember 7-25 and the nightmare-ridden librarian? i do. i was stuck on that level for WEEKS

anyway. the party gets to the librarian and they are HURTING. chili pepper and rye end up confessing their love to each other- which says a lot about how dire the situation was if you could get two lesbians to confess their love

so madeleine’s at the front and the librarian is about to absolutely murder him when espresso says not today, not my man. espresso steps up and uses all of his remaining energy to send the librarian to a pocket dimension or something, but espresso ends up getting pulled in too and he’s assumed dead

he’s not dead he’s just kinda in suspended animation in the void but the others don’t know that

then the cookies go back to the kingdom bc they need healing, right? wrong. madeleine stays by where espresso disappeared and refuses to move bc what if he comes back, he was injured and when he comes back he’ll need someone there to help him even if he won’t admit it, he’ll be back any minute now

eventually chili pepper has to knock madeleine out just so they can get back to the kingdom

they’re all kinda depresso about losing espresso but none moreso than madeleine. he’s so depressed, in fact, that his light magic actually weakens

he’s still a part of the exploration missions but he’s just. distracted. in a way he wasn’t before. he’s more careless in battle, spends more time alone, and people have actually seen him without his smile

so while our crew is somewhere in episode 8, pomegranate cookie happens to go back to the library and finds the dark magic rift. unlike the cookies on our adventure team, she can actually open it

pomegranate, finding a weakened espresso in the rift: it’s free real estate

pomegranate is really impressed by espresso’s magical talent and takes him back to dark enchantress cookie (who has been summoned at this point and is starting to really cause chaos). dark enchantress wants to recruit espresso but he refuses because of a certain light magic idiot dark enchantress is the one who made people look at dark magic as evil

dark enchantress: ok *casts a mind control spell on espresso*

posesso the espresso

meanwhile, madeleine is doing the talking to himself thing that he does (in the MIDDLE of a battle) and he’s like “why would espresso do that, anyway? he’s never done anything selfless in his life!” and chili pepper just rolls her eyes and as she’s taking out an enemy and says “because he was in love with you”

*madeleine voice* HUH????????

everyone else thought madeleine and espresso were together bc they obviously had a thing for each other and that’s why madeleine was so distraught when espresso “died”

madeleine suddenly realizes he like likes espresso, which is unfortunate bc he’s “dead”

at this exact moment, white lily shows up claiming she was attacked by espresso

madeleine: THAT’S WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!11!!

some distance away, possessed!espresso facepalms. “why did i just do that,” he wonders

so this is how they learn espresso is alive but possessed by dark enchantress. madeleine, however, only cares about the first part, bc at least there’s hope now that he can bring espresso home

his magic returns, even stronger than before, and the revitalized team plows through the rest of episode 8

so they finally get to dark enchantress and face her. dark choco decides to join the hero team bc pomegranate bullied him

which is really good for the team bc their front, madeleine, runs off to fight possessed!espresso alone at the beginning of the fight

espresso and madeleine would do a lot of sparring and stuff together and they were pretty evenly matched because of their different areas of strength, but this is different bc possessed!espresso is actively trying to kill madeleine and he has a black magic buff

possessed!espresso has the upper hand here, so he gets madeleine cornered and is about to deliver the final blow but he can’t

madeleine sees his hesitation and is like !!!!!! he’s still in there!!!!!!!

he also realizes there’s a pomegranate seed over the eye that espresso covers with his hair and realizes that must be what’s causing the possession spell (like in ovenbreak story run when wind archer gets possessed)

instead of fighting possessed!espresso, madeleine starts talking to him, reminding him of how they started out as kind of enemies, but how they became close friends. madeleine talks about how espresso made him realize that not all dark magic was evil, and there’s beauty in dark magic, too, all while slowly getting closer to possessed!espresso, who’s still poised and ready to deliver the killing blow

finally, madeleine asks possessed!espresso to trust him, and then he reaches out and touches the pomegranate seen over possessed!espresso’s eye. there’s a burst of light magic, the seed falls off, and espresso is back to normal

he and madeleine confess their feelings to each other then go help the others defeat dark enchantress cookie. the kingdom is saved, everyone is happy, and our two couples live in domestic bliss the end

#me: tries to think about cookie run kingdom to avoid brainrot/loss of focus from kagepro’s 10th anniversary #me: gets cookie run kingdom brainrot instead #i played myself tbh #my cookie run au #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #espresseleine #chilirye #they’re kinda on the side tho bc i’m still kinda a chilicotton gal #chili pepper cookie #rye cookie #espresso cookie #madeleine cookie #angel cookie #never thought i’d be thinking about cookie run this much tbh

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dreamscapestars · 3 years

Text

The Ultimate Reylo Fanfic List

* = highly recommend (aka if you’re going to read anything off this list read this)

Canonverse AUs

***All Our Days - E - 221k - "I can listen no longer in silence."The hologram projection of his strangely handsome face is cobalt blue, flickering, and full of static. "I must speak to you, Rey. You… you pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me that I am not too late.” He groans, runs his hands through his dark, silver-streaked hair, then refocuses his gaze on the holorecorder. “I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight and a half years ago. Do not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death."Here the recording of Ben takes a deep breath, and looks down at something outside the holorecorder’s field of view. Perhaps at his hands, Rey manages to think, through the veil of shock and timid, fluttering hope. She wishes she were there with him, so she could take them in her own, and offer him the confidence to carry on.But this is only a hologram, so she must wait. Eventually, when he looks up again, his features have settled. He looks… Fierce. Determined. Self-assured."I have loved none but you," he says. - canonverse jane austen au

trillions of molecules - T - 11k - Fake papers forged, contract signed and a navy blue jumpsuit with his name printed on the chest supplied to him, the man who called himself Solo was hired by the Felucian Transit Corporation as shuttle operator number B414. - tros fix it au

There Shall I Be - N/A - 50k -She remembers the first and only time she saw him smile like this before and how it didn’t touch his eyes at the time and how it broke her heart.Now it fills her heart and gives her life.She shoves him back onto their blanket and climbs on top of him. She pulls off her sweater and takes him inside her again and rides him into the night. - canonverse far from the madding crowd au

*landscape with a blur of conquerors - E - 362k - "While I share your contempt for this situation in which we find ourselves, do not mistake it as apathy," he hissed through gritted teeth, dark eyes burning. "I hardly expect your disposition to sweeten, but I will be damned if I allow my future Empress to behave in a manner that reflects poorly on me and on the First Order!""If you allow?" She wrenched her arm out of his viselike grasp, batting his hand away for good measure. "I don't belong to you. I don't belong to anyone.""That might have been the case back when you were a scavenger on that pitiful scrap heap of a planet, but now?" His sardonic gaze flickered over her silk robes and the jewels woven through her elaborate braids. "Now you are the Chume'da, and the Chume'da belongs to her people. Their fate is entirely in your hands. Should you cross the line, it is they who will suffer for it. Am I making myself clear?""I hate you," she said bitterly. He sneered at her. "See? Already you are acclimatizing so well to married life." - arranged marriage au

Modern AUs

*the man, the stallion, and the wind - E - 17k - Weary and alone, Rey barrels west on the Trans-Canada Hwy in her old pickup truck. Weary and in need of a lift, Ben Solo stands by the side of the road with his thumb out, in the hopes of hitching a ride.One hell of a winter storm’s about to roll in, leaving them stranded. What ever shall they do? - hitchhiker au

The Mechanic - E - 122k - It's a magical midsummer night, just made for following a persuasive, dangerous-looking lawyer to a hotel across the road from the party. But then reality catches up to Rey. - mafia baby au

*Soul Searching - E - 205k - Sixteen-year-old Rey finds out she’s soulmates with her English teacher -- in front of her entire class. Now the school gossips won’t leave her alone, prying for tidbits that Rey wouldn’t give them even if she had any. And she doesn’t. Because Mr. Solo is too horrified at being soulmates with an underage girl to even talk to her. - soulmate au

Mitan, Midi - E - 83k - After a French notary contacts Rey to inform her she's inherited a house in the Drôme (France), she decides from one day to the next to quit her job and move there. The house is pretty secluded, there's no service, no internet, no way to reach other people aside from the landline in the living-room.Ideal conditions, by her standards, as those theoretically should allow her to be perfectly alone. Theoretically. - french country side au

*A Treehouse Covered in Salt - E - 34k -High school senior Rey Johnson has lived next door to Ben Solo her whole life. The two could not be more different and at school, Rey wouldn't be caught dead in his presence. That doesn't stop her from sneaking out to their treehouse every night. Despite her unwillingness to be friends with Ben in the light of day, he has always been there with her in the darkness. - high school au

Initial - M - 45k - A Soulmate AU in which you are born with the initials of your soulmate marked on the nape of your neck. Easy enough, right? Except for two people who don't use their real names. - soulmate au

Killing Me Softly - M - 32k - Rey clings to the hope that her husband will regain his memories after he survived a car crash that left him with amnesia. During her monthly visits at a medical facility with Ben, who now calls himself Kylo, she struggles to cope as he tries to make her let go of the past, and in turn, him with it. - amnesia au

only child of the universe - E - 98k - The first time Rey meets Ben, they're carefree strangers getting high at the fair, alight and in love for a night. The second time is different. The second time is in therapy— where the asshole won't even acknowledge her. - high school au

a place to go - E - 52k - All Rey Johnson wanted was solitude. A place to go where she could escape from the daily stressors and mayhem of her job. A place where she could enjoy some peace and some quiet. Her mentor Luke Skywalker's small cabin up north seemed like the ideal place to do just that. A week of seclusion was just what she needed.And then Ben Solo arrived. - snowed in au

into the great laughter of mankind - E - 30k - There is something about watching Rey put her mind to task. Ben can't put a name to this something, exactly— all he knows is that it fascinates him like nothing else has in a long, long time."Dr. Solo?" She glances over at him. "What do you think?"I think I'm doomed, he wants to say but doesn't. I think the curse of the pharaohs has nothing on you. I think you are my Egypt. - archaeologist au

(now it’s) Time to Learn - M - 86k - “You’re a teacher?” Ben doesn’t look like a teacher. At least not like any teacher Rey has ever had. - teacher au

For Now - E - 8k - There are plenty of things he could say, but he doesn’t. Buying you muffins makes me excited to get out of bed in the morning. I wish I could go back in time and be the kind of person you could like. I don’t remember my life before you. ---------- When Kylo finds his soulmate, she doesn’t know, and he doesn’t tell her. - soulmate au

Cupcake Wars - E - 36k - Entirely by accident, Rey ends up fucking someone who works for Snoke's Cupcakery. She's just blowing off steam. It doesn't mean anything at all. It certainly won't come back to bite her in the ass. - bakery au

The Food of Love - E - 60k - Rey picked up her first violin at eleven, finding a mentor in conductor and former-violinist Luke Skywalker. With the First Chair up for grabs, Rey is thrust into the spotlight as the youngest violinist to take First Chair in the NY Pops. But Kylo Ren - former violinist, former NY Pops cellist, formerly Ben Solo child prodigy - may take issue with Rey Nobody sitting in his grandfather's chair. - orchestra au

Orion - E - 14k - Rey Niima finds herself in the Saharan desert trying to heal wounds from her life, and Ben Solo is there too, fixing himself along the way. - roadtrip au

Embers - E - 34k - All the myriad things he’d been—someone who made her laugh; the warmth on the other side of the bed; her best friend—those things, Rey had buried. Rey left Ben two years, three months, and sixteen days ago. But who's counting? - getting back together au

Gilded - M - 11k - Everyone had two marks, one for class and another to identify a soulmate. She only had one: green rings on her finger, proof she was part of the laboring class. It made matters lonely, but never unbearable.Until she met him. He had two sets of marks—had a soulmate—and she did not. - soulmate au

flutz - E - 27k - Rey was determined to have no distractions during her first season in Senior Ladies figure skating.She swore that Olympic medalist and figure skating legend Ben Solo was not going to change that, no matter how intent he seemed on proving her wrong. - ice skater au

oh autumn, oh teakettle, oh grace - E - 30k - "So let me get this straight," he says. "You're a dryad.""Quite so," she cheerfully replies."Like an actual—" His hand rises to make a feeble gesture at the towering elms that surround them— "tree-dwelling, speaks-with-animals, has-magical-powers, frolics-through-the-woods-in-orgiastic-pagan-frenzy dryad?"She wrinkles her delicately freckled nose. "Well, I don't know about orgiastic frenzy, that's really more of a maenad type of deal."He looks her up and down, taking in her pretty face and her slender figure in the skimpy white dress."Too bad," he mumbles. - dryad roadtrip au

A Proposal by Any Other Name - E - 188k - Rey and Finn have been A Thing for a long time now. Since she was eighteen, to be exact. When Finn leaves on a trip to Europe for six months for work, Rey finally chases after him to Dublin to do what he seems to be putting off: propose.She wants a family, after all.The universe has different ideas. Her flights are delayed, storms hit, she loses her tickets and everything seems to be going horribly. To top it off, she ends up stranded around a rather irritating man by the name of Kylo Ren. It goes about as well as you'd expect. - leap year au

endless summer afternoon - E - 63k - “My son's room is always made up,” Han had said, hitting a light switch as Rey clung to a dirty backpack in the dark hallway, “he never comes home. Warm bed might as well get some use.”Rey spared Han some of the dignity of his own longing assessment of the space that clearly hadn’t been looked at in a long time. An empty room in a quiet house. As gruff as he was, handing it off to some runaway nobody just because she was helping him rebuild a car was one of the kindest gestures she’d ever experienced, and had a hidden weight that she knew needed a respectful amount of privacy. Mysteries were often about unresolved sadness, and were usually only solved by the people who didn’t feel it.Rey is offered a place to stay: a spare bedroom once belonging to the mysterious Ben Solo. What does she do when she wakes up with him wanting his bed back? - roommates au

Dandelion - E - 45k - Rey's an ex con and orphan, just released from jail after killing Plutt. She follows advice from her former guardian, Maz, and finds a job at Luke's coffee shop. Ben's a lawyer who lost his job and moved back to his hometown. He falls for Rey, unaware of her dark past. - coffee shop au

A Few Small Repairs - E - 69k - Ben Solo is a ruthless property developer, and Rey Johnson is the lone holdout on the block. She does not intend to give up what's hers, not for anything. (Not even for a pair of pretty eyes.) - property developer au

Unbroken - E - 7k - He found her sleeping in the stables, curled up in the stall of his newest, unbroken colt...

Lockjaw - M - 106k - Kylo finds Rey unconscious and near death on the side of a road, surrounded by twitching, wretched things looking to her for their next meal. Ever the altruist, he picks them off and takes her with him, saving her life in the process. It's no wonder that when she wakes she feels she owes him, and agrees to become his travel companion as he crosses the United States in search of safety and a new home. - zombie apoclypse au

Everything to Prove - M - 13k - “The show,” he says. “It’s probably best if they don’t—if we don’t—”And Rey follows his line of thought at once. For all the program is one that doesn’t seem melodramatic—the height of drama in previous seasons came from someone’s cake falling over and that was about it—she does not doubt that the producers and cameramen would leap at the opportunity to make there be something out of nothing in their relationship—especially if there was something out of something.“Yeah,” she agrees. “Yeah, probably. We can pick baking stations that are…” but she doesn’t want to complete the thought. She likes baking next to Ben.“Or we can just be careful?” he suggests, sounding quite as pained by the prospect as Rey feels.“Yeah, careful. I can do careful,” Rey says at once and her lips are on his again and he’s laughing now, and she’s laughing, and she didn’t think laughter would be part of all this. She didn’t think it could be. But here she is, laughing and kissing and holding a man who, at some point, she’s going to want to beat.She does her best not to think of that now.It’s a friendly competition, after all. It’s not life and death. It’s baking. - great british bake off au

*In Bloom - E - 13k - The flowers that bedeck her skin don’t lie—ballet dancer Rey is in love with her partner, Ben. But the years go by and his skin stays resolutely, devastatingly blank.He doesn’t love her. But when his hands are on her body, she can pretend. - ballet soulmates au

By Blood and Flame - E - 10k - Rey can’t go to her professors with this spell. She needs help, though, needs someone to do the spell with her, and she needs the best because it’s tricky. Dangerous.There’s a boy on campus. Powerful. Mysterious. He’s admired and envied, feared and loathed, depending on who’s talking, but for all everyone knows his story, no one seems to really know him. And Rey… Rey has been curious about him for… well, for longer than she wants to admit.She’s not sure if it’s good or bad luck that he’s the perfect person to help cast her spell. - magic college au

count the rings - E - 63k - “Because you’re sitting there all comfy, not looking at all bridal-” “I’ll just fetch the veil out of my backpack, shall I?” “-when you could be, you know, making a move on that fine-ass tree.” In which camping comes with unexpected consequences. - accidental marriage au

(won’t you let me) walk you home from school - E - 129k - Ben, a counselor in the upper school at the legendary Alliance Academy, keeps finding himself interacting with the lower school art teacher, Rey. He definitely doesn’t like it. - teacher au

follow in your form - E - 23k - Ben Solo wakes up paralyzed and angry about it.A story about dealing with change, holding onto hope, and finding love. - quadriplegic ben au

*screwdriver - M -101k - Rey is a bright-eyed intern on her first campaign trail, Ben is an irritated data analyst, and how difficult can it be to get a legacy senator elected president? Apparently fucking impossible. - political au

9 pints - E - 83k - She knew next to nothing, and Google was largely unhelpful. All of her searches (“vampire sex rules” and “vampire dos and don’ts” and one very self-indulgent “average vampire cock size big?”) linked her to dated top ten lists written by anyone other than an actual vampire.Twenty minutes of frustrated scrolling eventually led her to a supernatural dating forum. The website was horribly aged, but still active. Questions were tagged, which meant that it was easy to narrow down her search. Vampire, she clicked, and Sex.--In which Rey gets suckered into shooting porn with one of Poe's pickiest vampire actors. - magical porn stars au

fine young cannibals - E - 27k - Kylo raised his head to the sky as he inhaled, his broad chest expanding even wider. His eyes fluttered shut, savoring the scent like a sumptuous meal. He grinned.“Oh,” he murmured, so softly Rey wasn’t even sure it was meant for her ears. His eyes slid to meet hers, scarlet and violent and hungry. “You brought a snack.”And then all hell broke loose.About three things, Rey is absolutely positive:First, she is totally, completely, and madly in love with her vampire boyfriend, Poe.Second, there is another vampire—an older, evil, definitely-not-hot vampire—that thirsts for her blood and wants nothing more than to kill her.And third, she is maybe not absolutely positive about either of these things. - twilight au

Epithumia - E - 46k- ἐπιθυμία, ας, ἡ: epithumia : desire, passionate longing, lust *** “No extra credit.” He made a noise that might have been a laugh. “You ask that every time.” “Well, I have to try.” Rey said, weakly. “Can you make an exception?” A lone eyebrow ascended his lofty forehead into his hairline. “Try harder, Miss Kenobi.” - college teacher/student au

Historical AUs (ranging from medieval to the early 2000s)

light carries on endlessly - M - 6k - “Traitor,” he told Cerberus gruffly not too much later, using both hands to scratch behind the hound’s many ears. What appeared to be a rat tail lay nearby on a blood-stained bit of stone. “What did I tell you about women with pretty eyes?”One wet tongue lapped at his wrist, and he sighed. “Right. Nothing.” - Hades and Persephone au

The Witch in the Wood - E - 138k - As a knight errant of the kingdom of Alderaan, Kylo Ren has traveled the country, completing quest after perilous quest in search of redemption for the dark deeds of his past. When an evil witch captures the princess of a neighboring kingdom, Kylo reluctantly accepts the burden of rescue with the assumption that it will be a simple task.It is not. For the creature that lives in the woods is not a monster at all.Since her mentor died, Rey has lived in the witch’s tree and uses magic to maintain the balance of the forest. Her life is practical, repetitive, and simple—at least, until a wrathful knight thunders through her door and levels a sword at her throat. Yet something within the knight calls to her, a buzz beneath his skin that she recognizes.Without a doubt, he is not who he appears to be. - medieval witch au

Black Knight, White Queen - E - 53k - Luke Skywalker wrote his sister a letter on his deathbed, revealing that his ward is the orphaned heir of a family long thought extinct - and politically powerful. That letter fell into the wrong hands, and the secret of Rey's heritage is secret no more. The Emperor has managed to unite the Kingdoms, but he is old, and his son is weak. Seeking to ensure his son's claim to his throne, he sends his most trusted captain to bring the girl - willing or not - to be his son's bride. Rey is taken from her far-flung home, and plunged into a world of court intrigue, arranged marriage, political rivals, and would-be assassins - the black knight her constant companion and bodyguard. But even he, her dark shadow and protector, she cannot know whether to trust... - medieval bodyguard au

Days to Remember - E - 42k - A man heads home after years of estrangement. What do you need from me? A woman leaves her world behind, a bird in a gilded cage. When we get to New York, I need help running away. -- I'll bring you to Boston with me. - titanic au

*what if the storm ends - E - 61k - As a child, Rey is evacuated from London to the Yorkshire Dales during the Blitz. She spends the war in the care of the Solos on their farm, wandering the moors with their son looking for a legendary family artifact long lost. When the war is over, she returns to a city she no longer recognizes, and she writes a popular series of children's fantasy books based on her childhood in the Dales. After amassing fame and fortune with her stories, tragedy brings her back to the farm to see Ben Solo, once her greatest inspiration and now a widower. - post WWII au

Take Me - E - 39k - Every night, at 8:30 pm, Rey and Ben get on stage and pretend to be in love with each other. At 9:15, they walk off stage and the actual fireworks begin. - 60s country singers au

I could have been wild, I could have been free (but nature played a trick on me) - M - 61k - “Did you know that I did not even learn your name until yesterday, when I married you?”His face flushed a darker red than it had at breakfast, and he attempted to defend himself with incompetent stammering, “I—I regret that. The situation, of course, would have been,” he wrung his hands together and stared at her feet, “It would have been preferable if we had known one another more. On several occasions, I did attempt to make myself known to you, but you seemed to have other preoccupations.”Rey could feel her face contorting into a sneer to spit out her barbed words, “Perhaps that was your cue not to marry me!” - regency arranged marriage au

Patch - M - 20k - He is nineteen when he first sees her.She comes to the rink alone, laces her skates alone, strokes warm-up circles alone...He looks at her, really looks her in the eye, and he decides he likes what he sees.She may be young, but she is hungry and angry, and for now? That’s enough for him.It’s not like he has a lot of options. - 80 russian ice skaters au

*The Great Big No - E - 165k - Kylo Ren is third generation rock royalty, a reigning brat prince starting to feel the burn of the fame he reached for with both hands. Rey is an aspiring singer on the verge of a big break, provided her A&R guy still has a job by the time she reaches LA. Their paths have crossed briefly, disappointingly, before. What happens when they collide? - 90s rock au

***go I know not whither and fetch I know not what - E - 119k - The year is 1994. The Iron Curtain has come down, the oligarchs have begun their rise to power, and Kyril Ren, a powerful member of the infamous crime syndicate Solntsevskaya Bratva, has been given a job: hunt down an estranged uncle who has been snitching to the FBI.Irena, nicknamed Rey by her adoptive father Luke, is a Krav Maga instructor in New York who has finally been able to obtain her original birth certificate from Russia. Turns out she was born in a little village named Vershinino, but if she wants to know more than that… she’s going to have to go there herself. - 90s russian mafia au

we could plant a house, we could build a tree - E -124k - Ben takes a deep breath. “It’s—it’s a project. Conceptual art. You wouldn’t get it.”Rey presses her lips together to keep from laughing. She plans her next words quickly and carefully, determining what will get her the best reaction. “Really? Looks like you ruined a bedsheet to me.”His reaction does not disappoint. “Get out.” ** Seven-year-old Rey decides it's her duty to annoy the crap out of Ben Solo every single day she's alive. - 90s growing up together artist au

#reylo #reylo fic rec #reylo ao3 #reylo fanfic #fanfic #fic rec #adam driver #daisy ridley #rey #kylo ren #kylo redemption #ben solo #star wars #star wars fanfiction #the grocery list

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hoursofhorror · 2 years

Text

By The Lake: A brief short story inspired by the horrors series Friday The 13th

Written by: Astr0

“What was that?”. She whispered to herself, darkness surrounding her as the only sound that could be heard was her shoes crunching on the fallen leaves beneath her. She was tired from all the running she had to do since her and the other counselors had split up. Chest heaving up and down, clearly needing a break whatever she was running from. She starts to slowly back into what she thought was a tree, hearing muffled breathing from behind her she took two steps forward and turned around and that’s when the large lifeless creature grabbed her.

Once hearing about the re-opening of Camp Crystal Lake, she applied knowing she could use the money being a junior in high school. She heard the rumors about why the camp grounds shut down, but she wasn’t about to let some folk lore stop her from making her money

The site was beautiful! Starting from the soft yet prickly green grass, to the deep misty depths of the lake. The camp grounds it self had activities from arts and crafts to physical activities like archery, and many more things. In each camp house there held two counselors, and around 15 to 10 kids in each house with their counselors. Though since this was the re-opening week and things were being set up, like rooms, bed and etc the only people at the actually camp were counselors, the new owner and a few of his construction workers.

The girl decided to go explore until 6pm, the time everyone was told to meet back up at the main house. Walking along the trail, wind rapidly blowing making the girls golden locks dance behind her. Making her way towards the lake she could hear Mother Nature all around her, animals large and small, ones that flew and ones swam. It was all breath taking for her!

Approaching the large body of water, she made her way to the deck which didn’t look sturdy like at all, but she didn’t mind just wanting to be closer to the water. She started to take off her shoes wanting to feel the misty liquid on her feet, but she paused the feeling of bulging eyes on her, watching her every move she was sensing this feeling from the woods behind. “Maybe I’m just being paranoid” she though to herself, not wanting to let those rumors get to her she proceeded to sit on the edge of the deck and put her feet ankle deep into to the lake.

Time skip: 8:32 pm

Location: Outside the main house around a fire

The girl and about 9 other counselors were all outside surrounding a bonfire that some of the other campers had put together. A boy with brown wavy hair spoke, wanting to scare everyone.

“JASON!”. The boy went on. “Jason, that was the name of the kid that drowned here years ago, right in Crystal lake”.

“Ya know, I walked to that lake today, and it seemed pretty peaceful to me!”. She gestured, wanting to lighten the mood. “Put my piggies in and all”. Sounding almost proud .

“Well…they say if you go out past dark you can see his phantom lerking in the waters, it’s so sinister like”.

“How about a trip?”. One camper ask. Some people within the group protested while others were for the scare.

Standing out on the deck, where the girl was earlier this time accompanied by 4 others, the other half were way to scared and wanting to stay out of trouble. The girl had the same paranoid feeling from earlier, not wanting to add any more fear she stayed silent.

“Let’s get in!”. The brown haired boy suggested. Him and one other striped bare and jumped into the misty water, not knowing their upcoming faith.

“It feels so soothing”. The boys went on. They swam farther out into the lake going from up on top of the water to down below it. The girl watched the entire lake all wide eyed she noticed a very fast move my coming from the water rushing towards the boys, the girl thinking maybe it’s just a really large fish she calls out to them.

“HEY! WATCH OUT LOOKS LIKE A SHARK”. She started to laugh playful teasing the boys, watching them scatter through the water like shrimps not wanting whatever’s in the water with them to touch them.

Out of the blue a large black figure with a hockey mask and machete in hand leap from the trenches below the surface taken a hold of the two boys and taking them down under. The nice blue water being replaced by blood. Seeing this the girl and 3 other counselors sprint into the woods taking a short cut to the main house wanting to get to safety. The girl ran at lighting speed, surrounded by complete darkness and the trees above her. The only sound that could be heard was the girls very heavy breathing and the sound of leaving crunching beneath her feet as she ran.

Stopping to catch her breath, she backed up on what she thought was a tree leaning on it for support. Suddenly the girl could hear the sound of muffled breathing, taking two steps forward slowly she turned around and screamed in complete horror being face to face with the large beast, Jason! In one quick swipe of his machete the blade pierces through the her chest and she falls to the ground to be left there bleeding to death.

My apologizes for the very vague short story this was very last minute and just pieced together, lmk if I should rewrite the story, but I’m going ahead and working on Friday’s story tmr :)

#hours of horror #80s horror #jason voorhees #horor movies #camp crystal lake #killing eve #short story #female writers

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writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 3 years

Text

Never Mess With a School Teacher

Fandom: The Mandalorian

Collection/Series: Western AU- Putting Down Roots

Pairing: Sheriff Din Djarin x Female Teacher Reader

Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long

Rating: M

Warnings: Violence, oh my god, the violence. Also swearing, derogatory language. Threat of violence towards kids, but no actual violence, all violence is actually centred on the adults.

Summary: He curses himself for getting so complacent, soft, it shouldn’t be this hard to chase down a thief. The thief should never even have made it to the steps of the schoolhouse, let alone inside. Luckily for your kids, an angry school teacher is worse than a pissed off sheriff.

Notes: Someone said they wanted angst...well, I have delivered angst and fluff, hurt and comfort in one piece.

Archiveofourown

Generally speaking Din’s job as sheriff had been pretty quiet and tame. An easy job. Navarro did not get a lot of crime and generally speaking the only people in his cells were the few regulars at the saloon who always got a little bit too indulgent with their alcohol and then started fighting over whichever girl they’d both decided they wanted that night. He hadn’t dealt with a murder, rape or assault his whole time here. He hadn’t dealt with major crime, not even horse theft. His life had become relatively...domestic and safe, compared to his previous. He’d gone from hunting down some of the most dangerous criminals around to simply wrangling a couple of drunks on a night and the occasional robber who tried his hand at a petty crime.

He liked to think he was a competent sheriff, that part of the reason for the quiet was that he was just that good, the truth was in a small mining town nothing much happened. So he’d never had to worry, not about Grogu or about you or about the little ones you taught or any member of town. You were as safe as you could be. Navarro was probably one of the safest places around, it made his job as sheriff a damn sight easier that’s for sure.

“Osik! Kolar! Get over here!” Which is why he’s feeling a little more winded than he used to when he runs through the centre of town after a lousy thief waving a gun in one hand and a bag of stolen credits from the mayor’s office in the other. He can feel a stitch pulling in his side and his knees don’t feel like they used to.

He hasn’t had to run like this in a couple months, not since moving into town and perhaps he should have been going on daily runs because he’s feeling his age all of sudden. It shouldn’t be this hard to catch up to the guy, he’s not even that fast and he runs like a donkey’s shebs, all arms flailing about and no sense of his own centre of gravity. If he could just reach him then he’d be easy to tackle to the ground. Din was at least twice his size and even with that damn cattleman revolver being waved about he’d be easy to take on. But, of course Din’s getting old and of course he’s been complacent, not been working himself as hard as he should have been. Of course he feels like he’s about to bust a lung just from running for 5 minutes. He feels older than his years all of a sudden and can’t understand how he used to chance criminals down all the time with success.

He pushes his legs even harder when he realises the direction the thief is going in, “Haar’chak!” He hasn’t sworn this much in months, but he recognises the path towards the school and it’s the middle of the day. School is in session and he wants to just grab the guy before he causes more trouble. He has images of you standing at the front of class, radiant and warm, turning to fear as the man storms in. The thought makes him try harder.

“Get you’re fucking no good ass back here! Boy, don’t make me shoot you!” He’s reaching for his gun at about the same time as the schoolhouse comes into view and Din can feel all the blood draining from his face, fear gripping his heart tighter than any lasso at the thought that you’re in there, the little ones are in there and this di’kut is about to go storming in with a goddamn gun.

“I said don’t make me shoot you!” He’s got the gun out now, his trusty pistol, not his preferred rifle, but he’d left that in the sheriff’s office in a rush after hearing yelling and a commotion he wasn’t used to. He’s never leaving it behind again he decides, this has been a wake-up call, he’s gotten lazy, complacent, too soft. This town has damn near domesticated him. He needs to keep himself in shape and his wits about him if he wants to be a decent sheriff. Maybe he’ll telegram Cara, get her to come back him up as deputy or Paz, whichever wants the quiet town life more.

He hesitates because of his recent domestication, his increased softness of heart...because if he shoots he’ll put a bullet in your schoolhouse and he knows it could go straight through, could hit one of you inside. But, mostly because he knows how much you care about that damn schoolhouse and he can’t bring it in him to damage it knowing you’d be devastated. Paz would laugh at him if he saw him now, tell him he needed to pull his trousers up and get on with the job. He’s never been very good at that. He curses kicking a rock nearby as the thief runs straight through the schoolhouse door with you inside.

He’s panicking, he can feel it well in his chest, clutching at his throat and he’s not sure what to do. If he storms in it’ll be a mess, little kids and you, all at risk, but if he stays outside he can’t do a damned thing. He can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling in there, probably panicking, the kids are probably scared, that’s soon confirmed by the terrified little screams he can hear. There’s a panic inside and it just swells his own until he feels like he’s choking.

“Come out! Leave them the hell alone, boy! Do not test me!” They’re empty words because he can’t do a damned thing, but if that thief lays a hand on any of you he isn’t going to bring him in warm, he’ll be in a jail cell, cold, waiting for the coroner to come and collect him. That he’s certain of, a single hair out of place, a single bruise or mark and that man won’t be breathing for much longer.

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“It’s a well known fact that we’re all acted upon by a force we call gravity! Now gravity-” The door to the school slams open with a supreme force that shocks you so hard that you jump from your place at the front of the class, chalk falling from your hand in a perfect demonstration of the force you’d been discussing. The children react in an instant, jumping from their feet then all clamour towards you like a stampede of panicked animals and it is all you can do in that moment to grab the yardstick you use in mathematics and occasionally in science and hide it behind you.

He’s wild looking, the man who storms into your school. Bulging big eyes roaming over the lot of you with a snarl, almost foaming at the mouth with aggressive energy, gun clenched tightly in one hand. He’s red in the face, huffing and puffing from running from god knows where. You can hear Din outside, he’s cursing and blinding, you can hear the panic, you can taste your own on the back of your tongue like a sour candy, like cough candy, the ones your father used to love and you used to hate so desperately.

“Now, sir, I-”

“Shut up!” It’s in this moment you realise that you cannot deescalate this situation, this man is like a wild dog, he is ready to bite at the slightest sound or provocation and the children are your main concern.

Panic gives way to anger, that bitter resolve, that feeling of indignation at this man’s brazen act. That he felt he could come into your domain, your space, that he could threaten you and your children. That he could point a gun in their direction. It’s the gun that angers you the most, it’s not pointed at you, like any sane person would do, it’s not pointed at the one adult in the room, but at Jerome who is shaking so hard you can hear his teeth clattering together. He’s barely a boy of fourteen, not a threat in the slightest.

You wait, wait as he takes steps closer and closer, drown out the sound of Din’s panic outside, drown out the sounds of your own children, the adrenaline making you feel like your skin is buzzing, like you’ve touched an electric circuit, but there’s no electricity in the schoolhouse at all. You’re shaking, that’s just how much energy is buzzing within you, you’re shaking like a leaf on a windy November day and you can’t physically contain it, stop it.

When he’s mere feet from you, you lift your chin defiant and angry, mouth opening in a tirade of angry words, as you rush forward in what you’re sure would be a stupid act if you weren’t so desperate for him to ignore the children and focus on you.

“How dare you come into my school and threaten my children!” It’s almost a scream, you’re so angry, so scared, that you don’t even think when you pull the yardstick from behind your back and swing with both hands for the hand holding the gun. It connects and for a moment he fumbles, you’re sure the gun will fall from his hands, but he catches it at the last second.

His hand comes up, “You bitch!” and clocks you across the face with the butt of his gun. One hit, hard enough for your ears to start ringing. You can feel blood drip from your lip which stings as it splits itself open, your teeth clatter together and by some miracle you stay on your feet, swaying back and forth. The children have begun to cry behind you and you can hear the sounds of roaring anger from outside. Din’s voice, clamouring louder than you’ve ever heard it.

“You lay a hand on her and you’ll wish you never came to this town!” It’s too late for that you think, he’s already laid that hand and if Din doesn’t get to him first you’re determined to deal your own blows.

The yardstick is ripped from your palms and you’re sure for a moment that he’ll simply throw it away, out of reach but he doesn’t. Whatever anger he is feeling boils over and the slab of wood hits you in the stomach, the ribs, the back. A hit to the face has your nose bleeding, your jaw feels like it might be broken and your only thought is ‘stay up, stay standing’. Your only relief is that the attention is on you now and not the children.

“Nar’sheb!” You spit it out, the pronunciation is awful, but the one insult that Din had taught you tumbles from your lips, hoping to keep his attention on you, hoping the provocation gives Din some time to think, to plan. Even, if you feel like he might actually kill you, like he’s capable of it.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“I said shove it, you filthy nerfherder!” It’s enough of a push for him to grab you by the front of your blouse and pull you forward, one arm coming underneath your neck, hand gripping your jaw painfully tight, especially with how broken it already feels, no doubt his fingers are going to leave bruises, while the gun is pressed to your temple.

The fear comes back in full force this time as you hear the children crying louder at seeing you being abused, seeing a gun to your head. But you know you have to be strong because they are your children and you have to protect them, that’s your job, it’s your duty. So you’re almost relieved when he spits at you.

“Let’s go see that sheriff of yours, huh? He seems mighty concerned for you.” It relieves you because you’re beginning to move inch by inch towards the door and you know the older kids will take the younger ones out the back door, usher them quietly out of the schoolhouse and to somewhere safe. You can breathe easy because even if you die today those children are going to be safe, you’ll have done your job. The most important one. Keeping them safe.

He sees you first, you’re blinded by the light blinking at the midday sun, but, Din? He can see you clear and bright and he has never been so angry in all his life. Your lip is busted open, blood running down your chin, staining your white blouse, there are bruises over your jaw, your nose is leaking more red and he can see by the way you carry yourself that your ribs hurt. The thief’s dirty hands are on you, one clutching your jaw so tight that he can see the indentations his fingers make even from a distance away, the other holding that damn cattleman revolver to your head. It makes him want to beat the guy black and blue, forgoing guns, just give him his bare hands and he’ll ring the guy's neck. Just let him go absolutely feral on the man, let him tear him apart. Din clenches his hand tighter around his gun, the other tightening into a fist, he widens his stance. If it is to be a fight then that’s fine, so long as you’re not in the middle of it.

He looks scared. That’s the first thing you think when you see Din. He looks scared and angry, his gun is pointed but you know he won’t trust himself to shoot it, his brow furrowed, wet eyes, and teeth biting into his lip hard enough to bleed. He looks raging and scared and wild. This is a side of Din you have never seen, you are so used to the calm, the quiet, gentle Din. But, this Din doesn’t scare you, it fuels your fire again, that this man would make Din feel like that, that he would make this kind man scared and angry. You can feel that rage welling up, shaking you physically. He thinks you’re scared, you can tell by the laugh and little comment ‘oh don’t be scared now’, that he whispers into your ear, his breath hot against your skin, making you shy away in disgust. It crawls over your skin in a most unpleasant way.

“Now, Sheriff, i’m going to make you an offer that I wouldn’t refuse, not if you want this pretty little thing to come out in one piece that is.” That name angers you even more, how dare he condescend you, how dare he call you that, it’s worse than being called a bitch or a cunt or any other number of derogatory names.

You don’t even give him the chance to make his offer. You slam the pointed heel of your boot into his foot, hard as you can, before bringing an elbow back into his stomach and using what little you know about the centre of gravity to off balance him and shift him over your head and in front of you. The gun goes flying and your hands reach for the heavy metal pail you keep in front of the school house for collecting water, thanking God that you’d decided a cast iron one would do better than tin as you heft it over your head and across his face with a ringing smash and a crunch of bones.

You stand over him, chest heaving, “You come near my children again and I will kill you, do you hear me! I’ll show you what a pretty little thing like me can do, sir!” For good measure your swing the pail down again, the man groans and far from being disgusted with your show of violence, you feel better than you have all week at knowing the threat has been dealt with.

You look up breathing heavy, blood dripping from your lip to see the children had made it outside, watching you with wide eyes, almost as wide as Din’s, but not quite. The gun is slack in his hand and he is watching you with a heat you’ve never seen before, it makes you swallow hard.

Din’s sure he’s in love. That’s what he thinks it feels like as he watches you, your chest heaving in anger, your features twisted from their usual soft and delicate countenance. This is love, this feeling like you’ve reached into his chest and grabbed his heart in your bare hand. You are the picture of a mother bear protecting her cubs and that part of him that is deeply Mandalorian cries out for you, cries out to grab you and hold you close. You are in that moment more Mandalorian than he is, mandokarla in every sense of the word. You have the spirit of a true mandalorian, the spirit of a mother, strong, brave, prepared to do what needs to be done. Undefeated. The man beneath your feet groans and it spurs him to action.

Pulling handcuffs from the back of his belt, Din closes the gap between himself and the thief. He’s rough as he rolls the man onto his front, pulling his arms far behind his back and locking them together. He knows he’s rougher than he needs to be, but the man’s lucky. Lucky that he can’t bring himself to hurt him more with you stood there.

“You’re lucky I don’t put a bullet in your head right now, osi’kovid. I should kill you for what you’ve done.” He means it too, he wants to just do it, but he knows it’s not right. Not when the man is incapacitated, unable to defend himself. Not when the little ones are watching on, many of their parents having made their way through town at the sound of the disturbance, clutching at the little ones with relief and shock.

“Then why don’t you, big bad sheriff?” Din hauls him to his feet roughly, presses his mouth close to the thief’s ear not wanting the others to hear him.

“The only thing keeping you alive right now is the woman standing in front of you. If she wasn’t here I'd tear you limb from limb. You’re lucky she’s there.” He means it too. He won’t hurt him, not like this, because he knows you wouldn’t approve, because he knows no matter how angry you are you’d never be okay with him hurting an unarmed, handcuffed man. But, god if he isn’t close to snapping. All that panic has turned into anger, anger which he focuses on the man as he roughly drags him towards the cells.

You think you weren’t supposed to hear it, the threat, but you did and it is both scary to see him like this and a mite attractive. Your gentle sheriff is showing a harsher side than you’ve ever seen and it should shake you to your core, make you distance yourself, but it doesn’t. Did you not just show the exact same side of you? Did you not just consider beating the man to a pulp yourself? All because you loved your children, wanted them safe. You think this anger from Din is a reflection on how much he cares for you and the children, how scared he had been and it warms something inside of you. Your chest aches with a longing that you don’t understand as you watch him roughly walk the man away.

“Are you alright, Miss!” It’s Mr Hewitt, concerned for your welfare, but you just wave him off and make your way to the children, hand clutching at your ribs.

“I’m perfectly alright, Mr Hewitt, don’t you worry about me!” The children, for the most part are with their parents, all of whom have congregated after commotion drew their attention and word spread quickly through town. They’re crying into their mother’s skirts and their father’s trouser legs and it breaks your heart. They should never have had to witness or experience that, it should never have happened.

“Children!” Their heads snap up instantly, ever attentive to your teacher's voice; they watch you with focused eyes even while they hiccup and sniffle. “I think we’ve earned the rest of the day off, don’t you? Go home, rest, play and I shall see you bright and early tomorrow morning!”

Truth is you need to sit down. You can’t even begin to think about teaching right now. So sending them home seems your only option.

Parents smile at you, wish you well, tell you to look after yourself as they escort their children home. The only little one left is Grogu who runs towards you with panicked eyes, and despite the pain you kneel on the ground in front of him. The little one wraps his arms tight around your neck before pulling back, little hands patting over your cheeks and hair, as if imitating an adult checking your injuries. It brings tears to your eye because in that moment you’re reminded of what could have happened, what could have been lost. It’s not fear for your own life that has tears falling, but fear for him, for all the little ones and their youthful innocence.

“Cabur...cabur” It’s said to you, little hands framing your face, big brown eyes serious as he looks up at you. It isn’t a word you know, mando’a you are sure, and it’s not a word you’ve ever heard leave his lips before. A quiet child he had only recently begun to start talking and often in one or two words only.

That’s how Din finds the two of you. You’re kneeling in the dirt, skirt stained probably beyond repair, blouse bloody, face bruised and cut. Grogu is in your lap, your arms wrapped around his little chubby body, his hands cupping your face as he says it over and over again. ‘Cabur’. Guardian. Protector. It warms him from the inside out, that his ad, his son sees you as such, that his son cares about you so much and that you care about him just the same. He has no doubt that you were prepared to die for those children and it scares him and warms him in equal measure.

You hear his footfalls, dirt and gravel crunching under well worn boots, spurs clinking lightly as he comes to crouch next to you. Warm fingers reach out to gently graze your jaw, taking in the dark mottled bruising and deep swelling.

“What does it mean?” Wide eyes turn on him and he can’t help but smile softly at you, moustache twisting upwards at your curious nature, always so eager to learn, always wanting to engage more with the world around you.

“Protector, guardian, cabur’ika.” You wince slightly when he presses around your nose, checking to feel if it is broken. It’s not, but it will swell and bruise along with most of your face. The blood has stood spilling from it and that reassures him that it isn't too serious. It still hurts to see you like this, to see you hurt in any way.

“Ika?”

“Little.” He can already see your brows furrowing, lips setting into an offended scowl as you glare up at him. At the diminutive suffix, not fully understanding the nuances of mando’a yet.

“Little!”

He laughs at your offence, not because it’s funny because it does not mean what you think it means, “It’s a...a familiar term. It’s not because you’re little.” He hopes he makes sense. He doesn't call you a little protector to make fun of you or tease you, but because it shows familiarity, closeness. You are becoming part of his clan without realising it and the familiarity feels good to show. Just as when he calls Grogu, Gro’ika.

“Oh.” The annoyance metals from your features as quickly as it came and he continues his prodding of your skin, carefully assessing your injuries. Your jaw isn’t broken, he tells you, but it is badly bruised and he tells you to talk less in class, although he gives you a look that says he understands that is unlikely to happen. A gentle finger pulls your lower lip from between your teeth, you hiss, but he’s gentle as can be when looking at the split lip. Badly split and still bleeding red over your chin and blouse.

Din rises to his feet, offering you a hand, “Let’s get you clean up, cabur’ika”. He helps you stand, Grogu letting go and sliding from your lap to instead hold your skirt hem as the three of you walk.

Din wraps a strong arm around your waist to help you walk, your pace is slow, careful and it takes longer than it really should to get across town to your small house. It’s not much, just 2 rooms; the main living area with your kitchen, wash basin, tub and a bedroom separated from the rest. But it is home. Cosy, he thinks, like you. It screams home, lived in, a place to live, not just rest your head.

He eases you onto your settee, propping up pillows behind your back as he urges you to lay down. He even plumps a few in his hands like a mother hen, clucking around you as he unlaces your boots and gently pulls them off to make you more comfortable, grabbing a throw and tucking it around you. He’s filling a washbowl with water from your tap, the one luxury you have, being a plumbed-in kitchen sink.

“Din...you don’t have to do this.” He should be dealing with paperwork, probably writing a telegraph for someone from a local prison to come and collect the man currently in the jailhouse. He shouldn’t be here with you, he has better things to do.

“Yes. I do. Someone needs to look after you, cabur’ika.” You watch him grab salt from the side mixing it in with the water, just enough to help keep your wounds clean. Watch him decide which cloth on your countertop is the best to use. He feels the fabrics, which is too abrasive, which is softest, gentlest, before deciding on one and dropping it into the washbowl.

Grogu is sat by your fireplace watching as his buir shifts you slightly so he can sit on the edge of the settee, washbowl placed on the ground. His fingers are gentle as they rest underneath your chin and urge you to look up at him, calloused but soft on your skin, careful of any pressure that might hurt you.

The salt water stings, but the cloth is soft and he hushes you quietly at every hiss or groan of discomfort you make. Carefully cleaning your wounds, wiping the dirt, sweat and blood from your skin.

“It’s okay, Cyar’ika. I’m sorry….i’m sorry.” It’s more than just a sorry for the temporary pain of cleaning your wounds, it’s more than just sorry that I am causing your wounds to sting. There is a deep pain in his voice that strikes you to your core and you shift, hands wrapping around his wrist as you sit yourself up despite the pain in your ribs.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Din. Listen to me,” you tug on the wrist, pull it towards you and hold him to your chest, urge him to look you in the eye. You can feel the guilt rolling off of him in waves, “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault.”

“You wouldn’t be like this if I was better at my job...I got complacent, lazy, I should have been able to catch him before he even got near the schoolhouse! You shouldn’t have ever been put in that position, you and the little ones…” It’s the break in his voice, the tears welling in deep brown eyes that has you wrapping your arms around his head and pulling him to rest his cheek on your chest. Rubbing circles in the back of his neck, twisting dark curls between your fingers.

“You did everything you could. You are not at fault and I will not have you blame yourself for something you had no control over. You are a good sheriff, Din. You are so good. Please don’t blame yourself for this, darling.” You scratch careful circles into his scalp with your nails, rub soothing lines over his neck and under his jaw, whisper gentle reminders that he is the best thing to happen to this town. That he provided you with a school. That he has made this town safe. That he is not at fault for this. But, you know, deep inside you that he will carry this moment with him, that he will not forget what happened and what could have happened. This guilt will weigh heavily on him, and will follow him.

“You could have been killed. The little ones could have been hurt.” He has always been a man of emotions, quiet emotions, but emotions nonetheless. You’d known from the start that he had a protective streak, that that extended especially towards children. That the mandalorian in him, his upbringing, urged him to keep them safe as much as your own duties did.

“But they weren’t. Keeping them safe is my job, Din. Don’t add it to your worries.” But, they weren’t his responsibility. When they were in your schoolhouse they were yours. The last thing you wanted was him to take that responsibility onto his shoulders when he already had so much, that guilt. It was your responsibility to protect them and while scared and shocked, none of them had a hair out of place or a scratch on them. They were okay.

“You could have died, cabur’ika. You could have died.”

“I know. I know,” It hits you. Like being trampled under horse hooves and the wheels of a carriage, like the yardstick to your ribs, full force and winding as you finally understand. You could have died. You could have died.

It is your turn to cry as your breathing becomes uneven and your mind tries to make sense of the fact you nearly died today, just doing your job, just in your schoolhouse. That there is so much you have not achieved, so little you’ve seen or done and you could have lost the chance to ever do. “Din…” You’re clutching at him, fingers digging in his back as he pulls you tighter to him.

There is a moment where he worries that you cannot breathe, that the force of your tears will choke you in his arms and so he holds you tighter, barricades you in his arms. Walls shielding you from the world. He brings a hand to the base of your neck cupping it to tilt your head up as he presses his forehead to your own. A comforting gesture, a keldabe kiss, he wants you to feel safe again. Wants to impress upon you your importance in his life even if he is not ready to say it yet.

He can feel your breath evening out with the gesture, your lungs relaxing as his presence comforts you. It pleases him to know he can calm you. He is the only thing present in that moment, not what happened, not the wild eyes of your assailant, not the fear, not the kids, not the room around you. Just him. His warm forehead pressed into yours, gentle, but firm enough to ground you. Large hand cupping the back of your neck, the other arm wrapped entirely around you to keep you close.

It is a little movement behind your back and two small arms wrapping around your back, unable to truly wrap around you fully that bring you back into the present.

It’s a little voice saying ‘Cabur’ into the fabric of your blouse, little hands gripping at you, trying to soothe you that makes your heart ache in an entirely different way. You pull back from Din, enough so that you can reach around you and pull Grogu into your lap, between the two of you, shielded by you both. It should scare you, how it feels like you have your entire world on your settee, how it feels like family. It should scare you what you would do for Din, for Grogu. What you would do to keep them safe, happy, healthy. Instead it warms you, to know that you’ve found somewhere to belong that isn’t just a schoolhouse and a classroom.

“It’s okay, Ad’ika. I’m okay. I promise.” You run a hand through his dark curls, boop him on the nose to make him smile and feel a true smile creeping on your face even if it hurts. You’re not lying either. You’re okay. You will be okay. With this little child who cares for you deeply, with his father who is always there to look after you, you know you are okay and will be okay.

“Ori'haat,” Din says to you, lifting your eyes back to him and the soft little smile playing at the corners of his mouth, “I swear. You said you wanted to learn more.”

“Or-e-haht?” You are back to your little game. The one where he tells you a new word and you try to pronounce it, but the unfamiliar words twist wrong in your mouth, coming out butchered to his amusement. He enjoys it, you know he does. It is easy to see because his eyes always twinkle with humour and his face softens, some of the harsh lines fading away.

“Oh-ree-haht.”

“Oh-e-haht?” You always concentrate hard and it is this fact that makes your mispronunciations cute, copikla, rather than frustrating. He does not mind you making mistakes because you try earnestly to correct them and always practice the words till you have it right. He enjoys teaching you because he enjoys hearing his language from another person, enjoys the familiarity, the homeliness of it.

“Oh-ree-haht!” This time it’s Grogu who announciates it, loud and clear with a little grin on his sweet little face as he looks between you and his buir as if waiting for praise.

“Very good, Gro’ika,” Din ruffles the boy’s curls before turning his eyes back to you. The boy preens under the praise, little grin growing in size as he sits between the two you. How he always manages to get it right on the first try you don’t know, you’re a little envious of the boy's knack for seemingly everything. He is a quick learner in school and out of it.

“Oh-ree-haht?”

“Jate, good.” You smile proud of your efforts and shift a little in your seat, ribs pulling and causing you to let out a pained breath. It's going to be sometime you think before you are fully back to how you were, without pain or bruises. You have yet to look in a mirror but are sure that you look terrible.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” You extend the invitation, knowing you don’t want either of them to go just yet, even though Din probably has things he needs to do and it is selfish to ask him to stay when he has his duties to get on with.

“You’re not making dinner, cyar’ika. I’ll make it.” He untangles himself from you, grabbing the washbowl to empty in your garden. The view of you with his son cuddled up to you makes his heart warm, even with the mottled bruising and cuts across your features.

“Din…”

“I will not argue about this with you, i’m taking care of you and you will rest, cabur’ika.” His tone brooks no argument, demanding for the first time, truly, that you listen and do not fight him on this. You should be resting, not standing cooking dinner. You are in too much pain and he would sooner tie you to your bed then let you hurt yourself in an effort to be the hostess.

With a heavy sigh, you conceded defeat. “Okay, but I’m not happy about it, Din Djarin.”

“I know.” He says with a smile.

--------------------

Mando’a Translations:

Nar'sheb - contemptuous comment, like saying shove it.

K'olar! - get over here!

Cabur - guardian, protector

Cabur’ika - lit. little guardian/protector, but the ika shows familiarity, making this more of a pet name, friendly term.

Haar’chak - damn it

Shebs - butt, ass.

Di’kut - idiot.

Mandokarla - having the *right stuff*, showing guts and spirit, the state of being the epitome of Mando virtue

Osi’kovid - shithead

Ori'haat - I swear

Cyar’ika - sweetheart, darling

Jate - good

Copikla - charming, cute, typically not used for women, but for animals and children. But honestly, I think the reader wouldn’t be offended like a typical mandalorian might by being called copikla.

Ad’ika - Little one.

#din djarin x reader #din djarin / reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian reader insert #reader insert #readerinsert #western au #putting down roots #din djarinxreader #din djarin/reader #female reader #female identifying reader

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gallickingun · 4 years

Text

moving target

Summary: Bakugou Katsuki’s reputation needs a little work. His manager suggests he take a job as a personal bodyguard to one of the donor’s daughter to try and increase his social standing. Bakugou agrees, reminding himself that whoever he’s babysitting is nothing more than a glorified paycheck, a stepping ladder to get closer to surpassing even All Might in hero status. But, when you’re kidnapped, he has to face the truth that you might mean more to him than he planned.

Rating: T for Teen Warnings: language, a little graphic violence, a creepy scene there for a second, a semi-spicy scene, etc.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Word Count: 12,310 (because i have NO CHILL!)

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“Absolutely not,” Bakugo huffs, kicking his boots up on the glass table in front of him, “I will not be some brat’s babysitter.”

His manager huffs, stepping forward, “Listen, your PR ratings are low. Helping out a big donor, being in the public eye actually helping will boost your ratings. Higher ratings mean more screen time which means more money, and eventually, a better gig.”

“...fine.”

As much as he hated to admit it, he was slipping through the ranks. Bakugo found it easy to rescue people, to punch out bad guys, but the press bit was where he severely lacked any and all prowess.

It only took one wrong encounter with a news reporter for Bakugo’s ratings to tank, which meant he was getting fewer sponsorship agreements and even less screen time on the nightly news. He needed this.

He hated this.

The way the suit clung to his shoulders reminded him of Ochako’s original hero costume from high school. All he had to do was send in his measurements, and the agency had five freshly pressed, perfectly tailored suits delivered to his apartment by the next morning. Still, he wished he was wearing his gauntlets and face mask instead of this silken suit.

His eyes wandered over the mansion he was currently standing in front of, the multiple stories forcing him to crane his neck to take it all in. Bakugo snorts, rolling his eyes as he steps out of the dark SUV, stepping up the flight of stairs to the large, intricate front door. He barely has time to knock before an older gentleman is opening the door, greeting him with a shrill accent.

“You must be here for the lady,” he makes way for Bakugo to walk in the door. The other two security guards are stalking around the homestead, securing the borders, so he walks in alone.

He can make out your figure sitting at the kitchen table, back to the foyer where he’s making his entrance. He read your file, studied your photos. You’re every bit as bratty as he assumed you would be when he was first offered the position. Your father was such a high contributor to the agency, and yet all of those dollars spent meant nothing. You were some version of a hedge fund baby - you went off to school with not a care in the world, money no object as you blitzed through life.

Bakugo despises everything that you and your family stand for. He came from nothing, built himself from the dirt up. Once he got his quirk, he swore he would never let anyone look down on him again, especially not those who were born endowed.

The older man calls your name and your head bobs at the sound before you turn in your chair, “Oh, is the next one here already, Miles?”

Next one? Bakugo thinks to himself. He didn’t hear about anyone before him. There were other bodyguards?

Miles, the butler-esque man standing in between you and Bakugo, chuckles, turning his head to slyly gaze at the young man in the foyer, “Ah, yes. The next one is here, ma’am.”

You laugh and slowly make your way across the room to inspect your newest victim. He’s wearing a dark suit, in contrast to his pale hair and light eyes. You tug at his tie and he snatches you by the wrists, “It’s expensive. Don’t touch.”

Raising a brow, you circle around him, “My daddy could buy you, hero, so don’t get your panties in a twist.”

Bakugo decides he doesn’t like the way the word ‘hero’ comes out of your mouth; like acid dripping from your tongue. He feels sweat begin to gather in his palms and he has to wring his hands out so a fireworks show doesn’t start on day one. God, he’s never wanted to wear his flashy costume so much in his life. Anything to get your eyes off of him.

“More of a briefs guy myself,” he offers after a beat, looking at you over his shoulder.

You’re smirking, the start of a giggle on your lips, “Oh, I’m gonna like you.”

Something other than nitroglycerin bubbles in his belly, and Bakugo isn’t quite sure how to feel about it.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that you were a handful and a half.

You never tell him where you’re going, you refuse to keep your phone on anything but silent, and he swears that you’re trying to evade him everywhere you go.

“Dammit,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes as you slip away from him in a crowd.

Bakugo flanks off to the side, barely able to make out the top of your head as you push your way through the marketplace. He memorized your outfit - a pretty sundress and a pair of sandals, purse slung over your shoulder - so he should be able to spot you amidst the others.

He finally makes out your profile, but you’ve changed. There’s now a jacket covering your shoulders, a sun hat on your head. Bakugo narrows his eyes, but despite his rage at losing you, a small smirk works its way on his lips at the fire you have within yourself to try and escape him despite the circumstance.

You’re turning down a side street when you feel your body pressed against the brick wall. A gasp barely leaves your mouth before you lean back and jut your elbow into his solar plexus, stepping on the inside of his foot. A grunt leaves his mouth and you swivel to knee him in the groin, but your knee is caught between a pair of strong hands just as your knee cap brushes the fabric of his suit pants.

“Very funny,” he mutters, hooking his palm around your thigh to ensure you won’t wriggle free.

You push at his shoulders and he’s surprised at the fiery expression on your face, your nose scrunched and brows furrowed, “Get off me!”

Bakugo releases your knee and your foot stomps on his toe again, a bruise already forming. His nostrils flare as he glares down at you. You’re quick to straighten your spine, matching his stare with one of your own.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?” Bakugo uses his thumb and index finger to tilt your chin upward, “Gonna try to play me like a little shit?”

You’re slapping him before he can process it, “I don’t need your protection. I’m fine on my own.”

Your answer surprises him, but the action of being slapped pisses him off. He growls down at you, “You ungrateful little…”

“Go ahead,” you shrug, pushing your way out of his hold, “leave, just like all the others.”

Bakugo follows behind you, muttering something into his earpiece that you can’t hear. Frustrated tears cloud the edges of your vision, but the sunshine clears your mind as you step back onto the street.

“You forget,” he sidles up next to you, “it’s my job to keep you safe. You run off, I don’t get a paycheck.”

The laugh that parts your lips makes him look down at you, the hat hiding part of your face so he can’t quite make out exactly what you’re feeling. He's never been a bodyguard before, but something tells him that this is going to turn out much different than he expected.

"Good to know as long as my daddy is feeding you money, you'll stalk me like an animal." You sigh, crossing your arms over your body as you walk toward the bridge overlooking the city. "You're lucky, then, all my father knows how to do is shovel money at people."

Something twinges within Bakugo's chest, like an organ begging to pop within his body. He watches as you lean forward against the bridge, your hands wafting in the wind as you wave them around.

If he had to say it, Bakugo would agree that you were pretty. Your frame was perfect, the profile of your face made for a beautiful shadow. Your eyes lit up even underneath the shade of the brim of your hat, and he wants to smack himself for noticing.

"Sorry," you break him out of his trance, "I don't mean to bore you, I know you're not here for my life story. Paycheck only."

There's a hint of hurt in your voice and he becomes curious - is this your normal? Are the only people in your life those who wish to drain your family bank account dry? He certainly can't relate; his family was never wealthy and even now, starting his pro hero journey is far from glamorous. The only reason he has a rooftop apartment is because the agency sponsored it, and Kirishima shares it with him.

Bakugo leans against the bridge, back to the water so he can watch for any threats behind you, "I'm your new best friend, sweetheart. Your daddy pays me to be all up in your business."

You reach out to smack his arm, but this one has much less force than the prior one you landed to his face. He winces dramatically, scrunching his side as if absorbing the impact. You can't help but snicker, tucking your nose against your shoulder.

Bakugo basks in the warmth of the afternoon sun, taking in the golden hour. There are times he wishes he could be fully decked out in his explosive gear, and then there are other times, when his restless heart finds tranquility in the quiet of the mundane.

People pass, wind blows, and yet his body remains at peace.

You’re drunk.

Bakugo hates when you’re drunk.

You’re sloppy and messy and handsy, oh god are you handsy. He’s watching from the bar, paying attention as you slur your words to the bartender and giggle with your best friend beside you. Every instinct in him tells his body to drag your ass back home, but he knows you’d put him through the ringer for it. Plus, that’s not his job anyway. His job is only to keep you safe.

So, as long as you don’t kill yourself stumbling out of the club, he’ll still get paid.

You’re touching his waistline as you pass him, laughing up at him with those bright, glassy eyes you always get after vodka hits your veins. You curl your fingers into his waistband and he has to push every instinct of his deep down so he doesn’t flip you over the bar.

“‘Suki?” you drawl, leaning your body into him so the person behind you can pass.

He tilts his head, acknowledging you in silence. You tug on his belt loops, “Gonna go to the bathr’m, okay?”

You know this means he has to follow you - he has to follow you everywhere.

You slip your hand into his, a habit you’ve picked up when you’re on the other side of sober, and squeeze his palm before tugging him towards the bathroom. You release him before you slip in the door, allowing him to stand guard like a good dog does.

Bakugo counts the seconds in his mind, coming up on six minutes makes his heartbeat a little faster. Once he’s gotten to nine, his palms are sweating. Small fireworks echo on his fingertips, the air scenting of ash as he starts to become worried.

He calls your name, knocking on the door three times consecutively. There’s no response from the other side, save a muffled sound that doesn’t resemble your tone. He crosses his arms over his chest and stamps his foot into the ground, his palms itching to slip into his gauntlets; he’d make much better use of the nitroglycerin collecting on his skin then.

After eleven minutes and thirty-seven seconds, Bakugo pushes the door in.

There’s no sounds of wretching or of peeing, so he’s at a loss. All of the stall doors are open, and your body is nowhere to be found. Bakugo presses his thumb against the small transmitter in his ear, asking the others if they saw you leaving the building.

As he turns, he notices an employee-only door. His feet are carrying him before his mind can catch up, muttering something into the communications unit before curling his palms to fists. He kicks the door in and just barely catches the sight of your body being dragged out the other side, eyes wide as you reach for him.

Bakugo is propelling himself forward with his blasts immediately, a shockwave rippling through the small employee room, but he doesn’t care. Somehow he manages to compose himself long enough to alert the rest of the team.

All he can see is red as he busts down the door. You’re his mission, the one thing that he needed to protect, and his whole being quivers at the idea that he’s failed.

Your voice is muffled but he can still hear you as they drag you down the alleyway. He’s got to make a precise blast so he doesn’t burn you, but still manages to knock the bad guys off their feet.

“Fuckin’ suit,” he mutters, praying to whoever is listening that he’ll be able to wear his suit, or at least some version of it, when he’s on guard duty going forward. Bakugo burns through the sleeves, the cloth turning to ash as he ignites his power.

He smirks, “Hey, dipshits!”

The two holding you turn at the sound of his voice, their faces covered by masks. Bakugo continues to push forward, bright flashes of orange and yellow lighting the alley behind him. He’s laughing maniacally now, because this is what he came for. He came for the bloodlust, he came for the mission. He came for the villains.

“Got ya,” Bakugo mutters before turning his palm to face the guy on your right who's much taller. The explosion knocks all three of you backward, incapacitating the one he targeted. The other scrambles to his feet, yanking on your body to try and drag you toward a black SUV parked on the side of the road not too far away.

You’re fighting back, Bakugo notices. You’re thrashing and screaming, trying to kick him in the shins from your position on the ground. Your whole body is like one big firecracker, arms and legs wailing at the guy. The hero can’t help but feel a swell of pride.

He propels himself forward, flipping in the air to stand tall on the opposite side of the perpetrator, hand held directly in the guy’s face - a threat, not a warning.

Bakugou chuckles, “Where you goin’, shithead?”

There’s a loud crunch of his bones when Bakugo lands a perfect strike between his eyes. He shakes his fists, thinking to himself that he should probably pick boxing back up, and turns to look at you.

The sight of your face smeared with tears, body shaking as you try not to cry. Your chest heaves with emotion as you try to sit up in the alleyway, your body a mess of limbs.

“Hey,” he’s surprisingly gentle as he squats in front of you. “Let me get that thing off you.”

He’s talking about the tape on your mouth. You stop squirming for a moment and he peels the sticky substance away from your mouth. You wince as he yanks it from your hands and feet, throat tight while you wait.

Secure the payload, Bakugo thinks, remembering All Might’s lessons from back at U.A. He let Deku get the better of him back then, but now he’s much more focused and precise. There is less collateral this time.

Bakugo helps you to your feet, holding your hands as you clamber to stand upright. Your spine straightens and he didn’t realize you’d lost your shoes sometime in the struggle, bringing your height below his.

There is a tiny thing within him that twinges at the sight of you, all in disarray.

He goes to ask you how you’re feeling, how you’re holding up, but something in him catches the words like a fish hook in his throat. It reels his concern back in, pulling it to the acid of his belly so it can die there.

Secure the payload.

That’s all you are to him - a paycheck, a payload, a mission.

“Just get me the hell home,” you manage, shoving yourself past him. “I’m sick of this place.”

“The hell?!” Bakugo is shouting now, hands booming at his sides, “You didn’t think that was something you should’ve told me before we started this job?!”

His agent sighs from the other end of the receiver, “Our officers are on a tight leash, they can’t give us any information that might leak.”

“You think I'm a rat!?” Bakugo snaps, his spine erect as he wishes his quirk were warping so he could whoop someone’s ass for keeping this from him.

“No, but if you were tortured, it was possible. These are big syndicates after their family, specifically targeting the daughter.” She takes a pause, waiting to see if the hero might retort. When he doesn’t, she breathes in audibly and continues, “Those were low level thugs at the club a couple of weeks ago. They have no connections, and they weren’t high enough on the food chain to have any information they could give us. Everything was nameless and faceless.”

“I swear to god,” Bakugo paces, ripping his hands through his hair, “I still can’t believe you didn’t think this was something you should’ve fucking told me! I thought I was just looking after some spoiled brat, and now you’re telling me this?!”

He hears his given name called out from your bedroom a few halls over and his attention spikes. The feel of sweat on his skin leads to the expelling of crackling explosions as he turns to walk towards your room.

“You better give me everything,” he seethes before hanging up.

There’s a sarcastic remark sitting on the tip of his tongue as he enters your room, but he’s shocked to find you still asleep. Bakugo steps closer, just to be sure, and something tightens in his chest at the sight of you curled in on yourself, brow tightly knit as you whimper under your breath.

Bakugo turns against any and every instinct in his body as he crouches next to your bed, his palm brushing gently over your back. He can hear Kirishima in his head, mocking him for being soft.

“The great Bakugo Katsuki, brought to his knees by a mere mortal!” Kirishima laughs, throwing his head back. He removes his face guard and boots at the table, his hands on his hips as he stares across the space at Bakugo, “You’ve changed since you started this job, man. I gotta say, I think you caring about others is really great. You’re manning up, dude!”

Bakugo accepts the high five from his friend, but not without a few miniature explosions popping off between their hands as he does so.

Kirishima is stuck clutching his palm to his chest as Bakugo swaggers away, a smirk on his face.

“Maybe I was wrong,” Kirishima sighs, “Maybe you haven’t changed a bit.”

Your bleary eyes bring him back to reality, your hand reaching out to touch his face. You blink slowly, a sleepy grin on your face.

“‘Suki,” you mumble, your cheek pressed into the pillow.

If you were awake, he wouldn’t let you touch him like this. He would keep you at an arm’s length, crimson irises focused on your every move. However, you won’t remember this in the morning, and maybe that’s the only reason that he’s actually leaning into your palm.

“Nightmares again?” he asks.

The phone call from earlier still rings in his head, his agent’s voice reverberating around. He looks at you a little differently now, he thinks, although he’d never admit it aloud.

You’re pouting, your hand falling from his face to tuck back under your chin. You nod and mumble something under your breath that he can’t quite make out, so he shifts closer. Bakugo sighs, “I’m here, all right? No need to have nightmares.”

You nod and pull the covers back to your chin and close your eyes, “Alright, ‘Suki.”

He stays squatted next to you until you’re snoring again, chest rising and falling consistently. He’s not sure why his body does what it does, but he reaches out and smoothes his thumb over the creases in your forehead until your face relaxes in your slumber.

“Fuckin’ dumbass,” he mutters with a grin, pushing your hair away from his face.

As he stands to his feet, he catches the sight of his dumbstruck face in your mirror, and he’s appalled. He’s not scowling, but instead there is the trace of a smile on his lips. Bakugo isn’t sure of the last time he genuinely smiled at something other than the breaking of bones.

Heat gathers in his hands and he has to force himself from blasting the mirror to shards, “Fuckin’ dumbass.”

“Can you find her?”

“No, have you seen her?”

“Last time I saw her, she was headed to the library.”

“And you didn’t think to.. Follow her?”

“Well-”

“Shut up, dumbass,” Bakugo pushes past one of the other bodyguards, shoving towards the direction of the library.

He’s slipping through the doorway to check around the bookshelves for your body. He’s getting ready to call for you when he hears your voice.

“If you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was ask.”

“Tch,” Bakugo narrows his eyes, looking up.

You’re curled up in the loft, your body wrapped in a blanket with a book in your lap. There’s a small breakfast nook-like area looking out onto the lake in the center of the back lawn, moonlight filtering in through the etched glass.

You tuck your feet underneath yourself and pat the open space next to you, gesturing for him to take a seat. He mutters something into his ear piece before climbing the ladder to join you in the loft. He’s sitting opposite of you, his arms crossed as he looks down at the ground below.

“This whole escaping thing is getting on my damn nerves,” Bakugo snaps at you, nudging your thigh with his boot. “Would it kill you to stay in one place for more than a few seconds?”

Shrugging, you rest your arm on his leg, palm cupping his calf, “But then where would the fun be?”

“I’d love to not have to chase you around for one damn day in my life.” Bakugo licks his lips and rests his head back against the wall, eyes tracking over every square inch of the backyard as he looks out the window. His palms crackle in his lap, itching to be let loose on the world.

“Why did you take this job?”

The question comes out of nowhere, something he wasn’t prepared to have to think about. Bakugo’s voice is gruff when he speaks his answer, “My agent told me my reputation needed some work. Apparently I’m not a fuckin’ icon, or whatever.”

Your laughter doesn’t piss him off as much as it used to. You squeeze his calf and tilt your head back so you’re leaning on the wall, “Oh, you having a little image problem, Sparky?”

Bakugo narrows his eyes at you, but there’s no intent behind it. He sighs, “Your dad donates a lot to our agency. My manager told me to take it. Nothing else to it.”

“You miss the fight, though, don’t you?” Your eyes are swirling with some mixture of curiosity and something else he can’t quite make out. You curl your free hand into a fist in your lap, “I’ll bet beating guys heads in is the best feeling, isn’t it?”

If he wasn’t expecting your initial question, he really isn’t expecting those words when they tumble out of your lips. And he really wasn’t anticipating the utter excitement in your tone, either. A pristine girl like you, fantasizing about bashing villains?

Either you were faking it, or you’re too good to be true.

You chuckle, “I’ve always loved your fighting style, at least what I could see of it. Your quirk is so cool, so useful.”

Your voice is almost wistful now, the edges of your lips upturned in a grin. You’re biting your lip in consideration and his leg feels cold when you remove your palm from it, wringing your hands together in your lap.

The hysteria on the cusp of your voice reminds him of his own mania in battle - the way he bares his teeth when he lets his gauntlets loose; the way his palms crackle as he approaches another guy from behind; the anticipation settled in his chest every time they suit up.

Bakugo tilts his head, “What’s your quirk?”

“I-I don’t have-”

Your voice is too nervous, too high-pitched. He wants to laugh at your obvious lie, but instead he holds up his palm and lets loose a few explosions, sparking the air between the two of you with orange and ash.

The lingering scent in the air reminds you of marshmallows over a campfire, and you realize it’s what you’ve been smelling on him for months. You never paid much attention to how his quirk works, all you’ve ever known is that he has an explosive ability that matches his hot-headed personality.

“My sweat contains nitroglycerin,” Bakugo explains when he notices your look of bewilderment. He finds his face smoothing into a smile as you reach out and grasp him by the wrist. “It’s explosive, obviously. I use my gauntlets in my hero suit to store it so I can use larger impacts to take down buildings or bad guys, or both.”

You brush your thumb over the bumps of his palm, up over his fingers. Quirks have always fascinated you, mostly because your father indulges in every aspect of them save for having one.

“Wow,” you say finally, voice faraway.

He swears your eyes are glittering with the way the moonlight refracts off of the glass of the window. His chest heaves as you push your way closer to grab his other hand out of his lap. The way you trace over the lines in his palms as if they have all the answers makes his shoulders perk with pride.

“When did you get your quirk?” you ask.

“I think I was like, five, or some shit, I don’t remember.” Bakugo can feel himself retreating, his walls shrinking in fear as you get too close. Your body heat mixes with his own and his eyes almost cross at the dizzying feeling of your proximity.

You are chewing on your lower lip and his mind slips in the fog to wonder what it might feel like if you tugged on his mouth like that.

He’s about to stand up and walk away because he can’t- no, he won’t- feel these things for you. You’re a paycheck, an objective, nothing more. Just like the weapon from his U.A. classes - all he has to do is protect you, and his ratings will rise and he’ll be able to fall back into the higher ranks of heroes. And then he’ll be able to leave.

“My parents don’t have quirks,” your laugh is dry, much unlike your giggles from earlier. You are smiling but it’s not making your eyes wrinkle at the edges like usual, “I think that’s why my dad invests so much money into them; maybe he’s projecting. Or maybe he’s living vicariously through his investments, I’m not sure.”

Bakugo hears you suck in a breath and there’s a pain in his chest at the sound, “When I got my quirk, my dad was so scared of me. As soon as it started showing, he built me my own wing in the house and brought Miles in to take care of me.”

Your hands fall away from his, tucked into your midsection so you can worry over your shirt as you speak. “I don’t think I’ve had a real conversation with my dad since I was little, not anything that mattered, anyway. When he shipped me off to college, he would call every now and then, but all we talked about were the heroes he was betting on.”

You lick your lips and laugh again, this one turning dark. Your chest is caving in as all of the memories of your father’s distance play on loop, threatening to pull you under again.

“No one knows I have a quirk,” you admit breathlessly, finally looking him in the eyes. “I think it’s his twisted way of keeping me, and everyone else, safe.”

Bakugo wants to hold you, any part of you, but there is a pin still in his body’s grenade, keeping him from you. He swallows the growing lump in his throat and tries his hardest to control the sweat in his palms at your story. He’s never heard your voice this chilling before; normally you are a sunbeam incarnate, walking around brightening everything you touch, even if you’re a bit mischievous sometimes.

“I can manipulate organic matter,” you say. “Anything living.”

The reality of what all facets of that statement can mean makes Bakugo’s muscles ache.

You’re chuckling at the expression on his face, “Yeah, exactly. Of course you’d want to keep me hidden away.”

“No,” he shakes his head.

As if to prove to him that you’re nothing more than a liability, you raise your palm in the air and summon the flowers sitting in the vase just a few feet away from you forward. The budding floral prongs are twirling in tandem with the motions of your fingers. In a display of your power, you make the flowers walk as if their stems were legs, up Bakugo’s thigh and over his knee, all the way down to the toe of his boot.

Once they’re close enough to you, you levitate them in the air again, the pink and yellow petals beautiful even in the shadows of the night.

Bakugo’s eyes go wide as the flowers begin to lose their color, the shades of spring colors beginning to desaturate until they’re nothing but brown, wilted buds. You curl your hand into a fist and the flowers ball up accordingly, mushing together until they are no longer recognizable.

“Holy shit,” Bakugo’s eyes track the object as you release your control over it and the squashed flowers drop with a thud into your palm.

You’re waiting for him to become frightened of you, to look at you with wide eyes as he fears for his own life. That’s what your father did when you showed the beginning signs of your quirk. He shoved you in a box, frightened you’d turn out something fierce, something evil.

“Do it again.”

Your voice catches in your throat, a short gasp parting your lips, “Wh-Wha-”

“You’re a fucking badass,” Bakugo shifts closer to you, the personal space he usually keeps between the two of you forgotten. “Can you do it again? With something else?”

“Y-You want me…” Your eyes are wide, pupils dilating as you gaze up at him. He’s smiling like a madman but it makes your heart light on fire, “Sure.”

You spend the next hour or so grabbing different living things from around the room, twisting them and manipulating them. Bakugo’s eyes follow your every movement, every motion. His jaw hangs slightly open as he watches on in fascination, your quirk a new experience for him.

You turn to look over the balcony, wondering if there might be anything you can grab from down there, when you feel his chest press against your back. He’s just leaning up to scout the area, but his chin might as well rest on your shoulder with his closeness. You pinpoint a basket of fruit at the bottom of the stairs near the entryway and you concentrate to see what types of fruit there are.

“Apple or pear?” you ask, turning just enough to look him in the eyes beside you.

He tilts his head, “Pear, why the hell not?”

You tug two pears up over the railing, dropping one of them into his hand, the other in your lap. There’s a crunching sound as he digs his teeth into the fruit, some of the juice landing on your shoulder. It tickles, and you go to wipe it off, but Bakugo beats you to it, brushing his thumb over the exposed skin.

The realization that you’re practically in his lap makes your chest constrict. You swallow and reach down to pluck the pear from your lap, turning the fruit over in your hands as a distraction.

“So, your dad was scared of you?” he asks, resting his chin on his palm so he can get a better look at you.

You take a chance and lean yourself back into him, his shoulders thudding against the wall at the impact. Your head tilts upward so you can look at the ceiling, the feel of his collarbone behind the crown of your head somehow comforting.

“He thought I would go on a killing spree or something,” you shrug, your thumbs busy with the pear in your hands. The memories you have of your father are not pleasant, what little you have.

Bakugo hikes his leg up so you can get more comfortable, giving you more space between his thighs. He tells himself that this is just part of the mission - he needs to get to know you so you’ll trust him, so you’ll stop running away. It'll make his job easier. That’s all this is.

You turn the fruit over, inspecting every speckle, “Just like with the flower, I can manipulate the life force inside of a person. I could kill them, if I were strong enough."

"Strong enough?" he echoes through his chewing. "What the hell does that mean?"

You laugh, cradling the pear in your palm like a child, "I was never trained on how to use my quirk. My father was so afraid of me that he forbade me to use it in front of others. I cared enough about him to respect his wishes; I wouldn't have forgiven myself if he lost business over my weird quirk."

"Your quirk isn't weird, dumbass," Bakugo's hand smooths down your hair from the back.

You laugh and look up at him, turning your body to lean against his thigh, "Thought I was a badass?"

He rolls his eyes, "You can be both."

You're tugging on his hands again, circling your fingers delicately around his wrists before yanking them forward. A strangled sound comes from the back of his throat at the sudden contact but you don't seem to notice.

Holding his palms outward, you rest your hands so the backs of yours are pressed to the insides of his hands, his much larger anatomy dwarfing your own. You're smiling but he's not sure why.

"I've wondered what it's like to be you," your voice is quiet now, the wonder giving way to sleep. "It must be amazing."

So Bakugo details all the stories he can remember. Eventually, after a few lines recounting the battles he's been in, your hands drift down from hovering in midair and he finds himself following suit. Your fingers are cold and for a moment he wonders if it's a side effect of your quirk.

He curls his fingers around yours when he isn't using his hands to tell you about a mission, the warmth from his palms leeching onto your own hands to keep you from freezing over.

It isn't too long before he hears the change in your breathing; it's slower, heavier now. Your body is more slumped against him that it was before and he knows that you've fallen asleep.

"Quirk must take it outta ya, huh?" Bakugo brushes his thumb down the length of your forearm. He sighs and looks down at how your body just so perfectly lines up with his, "Fuckin' hell...what're you doing, man?"

The last bit of his resolve crumbles when a small sigh parts your mouth and you turn so your cheek is pressed into his pectoral, one hand coming to curl around the fabric of his shirt and the other keeping his palm captive in your tiny grasp.

Bakugo can tell how much smaller than him you are; he could easily overpower you to get out of this situation, he knows he could. But for some reason, he doesn't want to.

For once in his life he really feels like he's doing something good, something wholesome. His body enraptures you like a cage and he keeps his eyes on the back yard, ready to act if there are any intruders. A fierce feeling prickles at the skin on the back of his neck and he wants to bare his teeth for some reason, but he tames the feral instinct before he can dig his hands into you to make sure you're safe.

Bakugo, for the first time since he met you, starts to wonder if maybe this could be more than just a mission.

You’re sure you’re not supposed to overhear his conversation, but he told you to stay close. So, really, you’re just doing as you’re told. Which is a pretty big achievement for you.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding, right?” Bakugo is laughing sadistically into the phone receiver, tossing his head back. You’re sure his laughter is to combat the growl that’s sitting in his chest. He’s hushed as he speaks, “You can’t pull me from this assignment now. There’s two international events in the next month and she’s got public outings. You won’t be able to train anyone new-no, I said no. You can’t-listen...I swear to god…”

The slamming of his phone shut startles you, but you’re able to cover your mouth with your hand before your squeak tumbles out. You press your back into the wall so he can’t discover your sneaking. When his loud footsteps come closer, you try to shrink down the hall, pretending like you’d just started to wander this way.

Bakugo steps out of the room and really, did anyone ever consider just how attractive he was before they assigned him to your team?

He’s tall, much taller than you, and built with dense muscle and thick sinew. His shoulders trim down to slimmer hips, but that is only misleading as his pelvis gives way to full thighs and rounded calves. You’re thankful they allowed him to stop wearing suits after his first couple of weeks - now he’s in a more relaxed outfit - black long sleeve t-shirt with a pair of jeans that lead into his signature black combat boots.

“Katsuki!” you call, stepping forward.

After that night, falling asleep against him in the loft, things have shifted. You’ve noticed that he’s more physical with you - whether it be with closeness, or with touch. He’s not afraid to brush up against you, and he doesn’t recoil when your body comes into contact with his own. Instead, it’s almost as if he’s welcoming it.

It’s a gentle hand guiding you towards an exit, or his palm squeezed in yours when you’re on the wrong side of sober and trying to get out of a bar. In the car, on the way home, he doesn’t mind if you fall asleep against his shoulder.

His brows perk when he hears your voice, crystalline eyes snapping up from his phone to make contact with your gaze. You swear the beginning of a smile touches the corners of his lips.

“Do you think we can go to the market before we get ready to go out of town?” you ask, pouting just enough to make him consider.

Bakugo puffs a breath out of his mouth, his jaw hanging open slightly. You reach forward and wrap your arms around his back, running your hands up his shoulders with a bright grin on your face, “C’mon! Live a little.”

He’s rolling his eyes but walking forward with his arm slung around your shoulder, “Whatever. Better buy me somethin’ real nice.”

“Of course!” You bob up on your toes to kiss his cheek, “Anything you like.”

His face is bright red, but you’re too busy thinking about the market to notice. As soon as you walk into the common area, his arm retreats from your form and his spine goes rigid. You know that things have to be more strict in front of your father’s staff and his coworkers. They have a short conversation before the others are grabbing their weapons and communications units, stepping out the front door to load up the SUVs.

It’s not long before you’re walking the cobblestone paths of the market, very reminiscent of your first escape attempt. The breeze is blowing, clouds offering some shade but not much. You’re in another one of your brightly colored sundresses, hair flowing freely in the wind. You twirl in front of him, “Hey, ‘Suki, do you think you’d ever do this full time?”

He tilts his head in silent questioning, and you elaborate, “I-I mean, if my daddy could pay you enough, do you think you could be my bodyguard for a long time?”

The color in his face drains just enough for you to know that what you heard on the phone earlier was true - he’s leaving you.

“Listen,” his voice is gruff, “I’m working to be a pro-hero, alright? I don’t have time to fuckin’ babysit for the rest of my life.”

Your heart twists in your chest but you force a smile anyway, “Yeah, that’s what I figured. I know I can be a handful, and not nearly as much fun as blasting villains.”

The slight downturn in your tone makes his chest feel hollow. Bakugo knows that he shouldn’t phrase things the way he does, but he’s on communication devices with the others and he can’t have them knowing that he’s fallen complete hook, line, and sinker for you.

You’re walking down the side of the road when an idea comes to you - you know just what to do to cheer him up, for old time’s sake. It’s been a while since you’ve tried to evade him for real.

Throwing a teasing glance over your shoulder, you wink at him before slipping away from him, blending in with the others around you. You manage to grab a ball cap off of a vendor table, leaving them a large bill to take care of the cost. A quick stop at a food vendor leaves you in the wind as Bakugo walks past your body, eyes high as he steps through the crowds to try and find you.

Katsuki is frantic - it feels like someone has just pumped ice water into his veins. His feet can’t carry him fast enough. If it weren’t for the phone call earlier, he might not have allowed fear to clutch at him like a vice, but the words of the officer on the other line ring loudly in his head.

“There have been talks in the underground of a possible kidnapping attempt. Soon.”

His saliva collects like a ball of tape in his throat and he can’t swallow it down. He speaks into his comms but he’s not sure he’s talking in full sentences or syllables. His body carries him down every alleyway, every side street, until he catches a glimpse of the tail of your dress curving down a street across the market.

Relief floods his body and Bakugo jogs to the dead end road, a sarcastic retort on his lips about how you almost got a rise out of him when his eyes catch onto something at the end of the alleyway.

There, pinned to the wall by a nail, is a swatch of your dress, covered in blood with the words don’t come looking written in crimson liquid.

Acid churns in his stomach. Heat settles behind his eyes. Explosions echo off of his hands.

“Wrong fuckin’ move,” he grits his teeth, narrowing his eyes as he snatches the cloth in his hands. He looks up to the roof where he’s sure some villain with a quirk has escaped with you, “Holy shit, wrong move.”

The past few hours have been nothing but a painful blur for you. There’s crusted blood on your head from where someone has slammed a blunt object to knock you out. Your wrists and ankles are burning from the cuffs wrapped around them, the chains echoing in the warehouse-like space. Your throat is parched from trying to scream through the gag in your mouth and the sobs that rack your body.

It was just supposed to be a game, something to cheer up his spirits, your running off. You never intended for it to turn into something that’s probably spiking his blood pressure and getting his ear chewed off. Another bout of tears sweeps through your lids when you realize that Katsuki is going to get in trouble due to your immaturity.

Someone has brought you a pale of water, but it’s so demeaning that all you can do is kick it across the warehouse. You’re surprised they’re allowing you to have your vision, given that they’ve taken everything else from you.

“We’ll get a hefty ransom for her,” a thug off in the corner mutters to his counterpart. They stare over at you and you feel violated just by their gaze. You curl yourself inward, trying to hide as much of your body as possible.

The taller of the two slaps the original speaker on the back of the head, “You touch her, you’re dead. You heard what the boss said. No nasty shit.”

Your jaw quivers as you think of what they could do to you, all tied up like this. You’re helpless. The realization multiplies the well of tears settled in the brim of your eyelids. They laugh at your tears and you want to kick each of them between the legs until they beg for mercy at your hands.

If Bakugo were here, he’d have already freed himself. He would have never gotten captured in the first place. Now you want to kick yourself. How could you be so careless? You were too wrapped up in your childish, foolish game to realize you were being tailed. Katsuki would be disappointed in you.

“The fuck you cryin’ about?” the taller thug asks. He cracks his knuckles before stepping to you, squatting down. He tucks his hand roughly under your chin to pull your attention up so you’re looking him in the eye. He smirks, “Gonna give you somethin’ to cry about, bitch.”

A set of slaps resounds in the empty room, both of your cheeks stinging at his harsh motion.

Your immediate reaction is to whimper, but you stamp it down in favor of being seen as strong. You grit your teeth together and snarl up at him, eyes hard as you glare. He chuckles, gripping you by the throat until your eyes bug out of your head, “Oh, you stupid bitch. Quit your whinin’.”

He slings you to the floor and your wound pounds in pain, reopening and leaving a gateway for a fresh stream of blood to trickle down your neck. You want to cradle the spot, do anything to try and dilute or soothe the pain, but your hands are stuck behind your back.

The two thugs are arguing about something, but the last thing you see is the two of them looking down at you as your vision fades to black.

The next time you wake, your body is in a chair, apparatus attached to every part of your body. Your mind is foggy and you hear someone calling Katsuki’s name so you start to search for him. Tears leak from the corners of your eyes when you realize that it’s your voice.

“Shut up or I’ll gag you again,” a brute voice hovers over your shoulder.

There are still black spots covering most of your vision, so you can’t see who's speaking to you. Your nose itches and you try to move your shoulder only to find your neck is locked into a metal casing. You swallow, your throat bobbing against the cold metal.

A man in all black, face hidden behind an intricate, colorful mask, stands in front of you. His demeanor is nothing if not calm and collected, a gun attached to his hip although you suspect he has some sort of quirk as well. He crosses his arms over his chest as he looks you over, as if he were sizing you up even though you’ve not managed to put up any sort of a fight this entire time.

“How much do you think your daddy will pay to have you safe?” he drawls, squatting down so you can look down at him.

He swivels a knife out of his pocket, turning the blade over before pressing it to his tongue, “I’m thinking a fat stack of paper will keep you alive. Don’t you agree?”

“Go to he-ah!” You’re stopped as the tip of the knife presses to the inner part of your thigh. Your nostrils flare and you glare down at him, shifting in your seat to futilely pull away from his weapon.

“I heard your bodyguard is kind of sweet on you,” he smirks, twirling the blade so the point stays connected to your skin, “and I’m sure he wants to see you safe.”

Your teeth chatter but you bare your canines anyway, “You’re going to wish you’d never been born when Katsuki gets ahold of-”

“Katsuki, huh? You’re on given names now?” The man stands to his feet, slinging the blade around before tucking it back into his belt. He chuckles, “You pregnant with his kid, too?”

You spit on him as he bends over in front of you, face mere inches from your own. It pisses him off to the point where he snatches you by the hair, pulling you forward so your esophagus is crushed by the metal chain around your throat. You can’t breathe, choking at the sudden impact. You see stars and you can’t do anything but thrash in the chair, arms and legs bruising on contact of the latches keeping your body as still as possible.

The one thing that you can make out above everything else is the coolness of metal pressed to your temple. It is not sharp, so you have to assume that there’s a gun to your temple. His voice is in your ear, low and slithering, “I’ve already taken photos of your living body, so I don’t need proof of life anymore. I’m being a gentleman by keeping you alive, you see? So don’t piss me off.”

“That’s not bein’ a fuckin’ gentleman.”

A gasp parts your lips and the thug turns to see Bakugo Katsuki standing in the doorway, a littering of unconscious bodies in his wake.

He glares with his ruby red eyes, tilting his head in a way that almost feels patronizing. You want to claw at the hand around your throat but your wrists are still tied down. Your face is damp with a mixture of tears and sweat, your voice trying to project despite the pain of your esophagus.

“S’okay,” Katsuki looks you in the eyes and you believe him.

“You take another step closer and I swear I will blow her brains all over the side of this place,” the man seethes from behind you. As the gun digs deeper into your temple, you whimper, a sob shaking your shoulders.

Bakugo lurches forward at the sound, hand outstretched, “You fucker! Let her the fuck go before I kill you right here!”

The villain smirks, “I thought you were Ground Zero, a pro hero?! You’d dare to taint your pristine record with little ole me? Wow, I’m flattered.”

You shake your head just enough to tell him to back away, and he does so by putting both of his feet on the ground, hands in the air. He’s making eye contact with you again, irises desperate, “You remember that night in the library?”

You blink a few times, taking in what he’s said. What was so significant about that night?

“Remember what you told me?” he leads you, his jaw quivering under the stress of his teeth. “About what your father was afraid of?”

“Oh please!” The man laughs maniacally but you’re not focused on him anymore. Your brain is trying to work, albeit a bit slow, to recall the words you spoke that night. Your eyes track over his face but his mouth is set into a hard line, “The flowers, baby, remember the flowers?”

The villain is mocking Bakugo again, but his voice cuts off in his throat when he feels the tips of his extremities begin to go numb.

Your lower lip is quivering, blood seeping out of your nose at the strain. Tears sit still in your eyes as you manipulate your fingers to try to find the source of the organic material you want to manipulate. You take a gasping breath, eyes straining in your sockets as you pull pressure closer towards you.

“What the-”

Your other hand twists and you hear the crushing sound of his esophagus as you manipulate the blood pumping through his veins. Your body is so unused to the stress of using your quirk that it makes your mouth hang open in hopes of getting enough oxygen to your brain, your bones grating against one another.

In trying to turn his hand holding the gun away from you, you have to dig deep, imagining the cells in his body so you can manipulate them. The chipping of his bones resonates in your ear, but the pressure of the gun is released from your temple. In turn, you feel a new bout of blood leak from every orifice of your face - eyes, mouth, nose.

Your vision goes black and your ears ring with the sound of an explosion. There are screams in the back of the room, but a quick thud tells you that someone has been rendered helpless.

“Hey,” the voice is calm in front of you, but you can’t turn it off. Your body craves the manipulation of something else, your quirk swirling around you like a dark shadow, begging you to hurt somebody else.

A pair of hands presses to your cheeks and your jaw drops at the contact. You turn your hands and you feel a new patch of skin ghosting under your fingers. The blood pumping through this one is hotter, faster. Your jaw strains as you grind your teeth together in concentration.

You hear Bakugo cough and your vision clears enough to realize that it’s him you have in your quirk’s grasp. Your hands fall to your lap as you relent, a cough parting his mouth as he lurches forward.

Katsuki uses his fingers to wipe the blood off of your face, “Holy hell. You really are a badass.”

You barely have time to register the words before your body passes out from exhaustion.

This time, when you roll your head, you’re still held in someone’s arms. You lean your head back and blink blearily, “K-Ka-Suki?”

You hear his voice, but he’s not talking to you. He’s angrily whisper-shouting at someone else you can’t see. You try to raise your arm to touch his face, slap him, whatever it takes to get his attention. Your whole body aches and you just want to go back to sleep.

“I don’t care what you have to move, just fuckin’ move it!” is the last thing that you hear before the silence returns.

You try to call to him again and this time you’re able to make out his eyes as he looks down at you. He’s carrying you somewhere, that much you know, but you’re not quite sure where you’re going. The relief that floods his irises, lightening them, makes your heart flip in your chest.

“Where’re we?” you ask in a slur.

Bakugo chuckles and you hear a door shut, “We’re back home.”

“Home,” you murmur, your head lolling into his chest. What does home mean to you now? Surely it doesn’t mean that big mansion that you’ve been a prisoner in most of your adult life.

You force your hand to inch upward from your lap to his chest, your palm seeking the heat of his body. Sniffling, you breathe in the scent of a fireside and you desperately want to be on a beach, in a hammock, as he holds you tight. Your fist curls around his shirt and he looks down at you again, taking in the pallor of your skin and the way your breath comes in short bursts.

Your body shifts in his arms and you whimper at the loss of contact as he displaces you onto a bed. Your head hits a pillow but you’re trying to sit up right after, grasping in thin air for something of his that you can hold onto.

“Lay down, idiot,” Bakugo grunts in annoyance, pushing you down by the shoulders. “You’re fuckin’ spent. You need to chill.”

Your eyes finally open as you feel your shoes removed from your feet. The way your ankles try to swivel sparks pain behind your eyelids, the raw splotches of skin from struggling against the cuffs more prevalent now than before.

“I told you to fucking chill.”

You do as he says then, your body unable to fight back any longer. You are more focused on trying to keep yourself from becoming a blubbering mess in front of him. Using your quirk took a lot of strength and focus, but now all you want to do is curl into a ball and cry yourself to sleep.

Bakugo’s palm is against your cheek, “I think you need a bath.”

“Mhm,” you can feel the crusted blood on your face and neck, sweat mixed in so your dress sticks to every part of your body it touches.

He chuckles, “I’ll go get Miles.”

“No,” you snatch him by the sleeve, “p-please, don’t go.”

You wince at the exertion of your muscles but the pleading look in your eyes must do it for him because he buckles, “I’ll go run the water.”

It’s another few minutes before he emerges from the bathroom suite to help you to your feet. You sway a little as the warmth from the steam in the room hits you directly in the face. Your eyes cross and he has to steady you with his palms on your waist.

You go to step into the tub still fully clothed when he stops you, “Uh, don’t you think-”

Your eyes can’t focus on anything, so Katsuki presses his palms to both of your cheeks and forces your eyesight to zero in on him. He says something and you reach out to grip his shirt in your hands, fisting the fabric as tight as you can manage in this state.

“D-Do you want my help?” he asks, cheeks burning. You nod, turning so the ties of your dress are where he can reach. You don’t think anything of it as his fingertips hesitate at your back, his palms threatening to burst with nitroglycerin.

Eventually, your dress falls away and you’re left bare in front of him. He takes you by the hand to guide you to the huge tub in the center of the room, full to the brim with warm water and bubbles. You wince as you step into the water, the heat from the bath making your open wounds twinge with pain. Swallowing, you submerge yourself entirely, only your nose to the top of your head remaining visible.

“Shit,” Bakugo swears as the water immediately tinges red with the blood that coated your body. He picks up a rag and gently swipes over your skin.

Bakugo has never considered himself soft. He is not gentle, he is not kind. However, all of his inhibitions about himself completely fly out the window when you’re involved. He’s sure he’s never been this caring with his own body. He winces when he has to scrub particularly hard at certain spots, the mix of blood and sweat cementing patches of red to your skin.

After he’s done with your body, he starts to work on your face. He has to use a new rag, one unsaturated with grime. His fingers are timid as he brushes under your eyes and around your nose and mouth. The pad of his thumb ghosts over your lower lip, his palm flat against your neck.

Your eyes are wide, pupils blown as you glance up at him. He shakes his head, “I can’t believe you.”

Bakugo has to grab the shower head to work on your hair. You feel his fingers nudging through your tresses for a while before the water turns off and he unplugs the tub. The water retreats from the bath and your shoulders go cold.

“C’mon,” he murmurs, eyes on your face as he helps you stand.

He pats you dry and you fumble around your room for a new set of clothes. As he pulls the shirt over your head, his palms brush your arms and you find yourself wanting to melt into him. You have to fight the trembling of your lower lip when he takes a step back from your; your body is empty at the loss of his touch.

Katsuki grunts, shaking his head, “I-I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you’re able to manage words, your voice hoarse from disuse and exhaustion. You swallow and reach out to him, but he backs away from you.

“I had one job, one thing to do, and I fucked it up. I failed at keeping you safe.” His fists curl up tight in front of him, but you still see the explosions muffled in his grip. He turns his head, “I’m leaving tonight.”

A single tear slips down your cheek and you cradle your arms to your chest, the bright red rings of raw skin easy to see in stark contrast to your dark sleep clothes. Bakugo gets just enough of a glimpse of them and knows that he can’t be here any longer, he can’t watch his failures play on a loop in front of him in the form of you.

“I ran away,” you whisper, looking down at your hands. “I-I did this.”

You allow a sob to break the seam of your lips, your body shuddering so hard that you fall to your knees. You cover your face with your hands, “I’m so sorry, Katsuki. I-I’m so stupid. You’re right, I’m nothing but a dumbass.”

“Hey,” he cradles you at the elbows, “no, don’t do that shit.”

“It’s the truth, and you know it!” You shove at his shoulders meagerly, falling back from the force of your own push. “I should have never run away. I should have listened.”

Katsuki tugs your head forward, cradling your body against his own, “Damn right you should’ve listened to me.”

“I’m sorry, ‘Suki,” you murmur into the skin of his neck.

He tilts your head upward with the gentle tug of your chin between his thumb and forefinger. Bakugo’s mouth is pressed into a fine line as he takes a short breath, “Me too. I shouldn’t have let you get out of my sight.”

A silent pause stretches between the two of you as you look into one another’s eyes, short breath passing through your lips. Katsuki’s hand threads into your hair and his eyes travel to each feature of your face as if he were memorizing it. You turn your face to flatten your mouth against his wrist, his pulse thudding solidly under your lips. The warm aroma that results from his quirk makes you dizzy in the best way; you could get drunk off of the sweet, fiery scent if you let yourself stay this close for too long.

Your eyelashes flutter when he slides you with a hand on your hip so you’re completely in his lap, your knees on either side of his body. He is warm and it is welcoming, your still damp hair sending chills down your spine as the cool breeze of the night sweeps in through the barely open window.

Finally, his voice breaks, “I-I thought I lost you.”

“Katsu’...” you shake your head and tears well up in your eyes.

You can’t take it anymore. You tilt your head further upward and press your lips to his. As soon as you arch into him, Katsuki is wrapping his arms around your body, bruising your mouth with the intensity of his kiss. His palms hold you steady - one on the back of your head and the other splayed out across the center of your back.

It is painstakingly quiet, the only sounds echoing off of your walls are the gentle smacking noises your mouths make as you part only to come back together. Your hands can’t get enough of him, searching the planes of his shoulders for somewhere to dig your fingernails into. You gasp as his tongue presses to the seam of your lips, leaving you wide open for him to invade your space.

His whole body is hot, steaming, as he palms at you to keep you close. Your cheeks heat, bright red at the proximity of him. Bakugo angles your head so he can thoroughly map out your mouth with his tongue and teeth.

You pull away just enough to breathe, “I never doubted you, not for a minute.”

Katuki’s eyes are wide, irises blown to hell when he hears those words fall from your lips. His chest constricts and the threat of an explosion curls in the palms of his hands. He has to stamp it down, because he doesn’t want to hurt you, but you do feel the increasing heat on your back.

“I knew you’d find me,” you brush a hand over his cheek, pushing his hair away from his face. You have tears streaming down your face, but he’s sure you’ve never been more beautiful to him than you are now, in this very vulnerable moment.

You chuckle, “You’re my hero.”

A growl opens his lips and you barely get a moment to suck in a breath before he’s devouring you again.

He’s been labeled a hero by his school, by the media, by a costume designer. He has an agent and a PR team and a set of sidekicks he’s training. He’s getting money, fame, and yet - in this moment, you uttering those words, releases something primal in him. The need to protect you washes over him like a wave - how did he think he could ever trust anyone else with your care? Would any of them try to keep you safe as ferociously as he would?

“I’m not leavin’ your fuckin’ side,” he mumbles as his mouth trails over your jaw, fingers tugging on your hair gently to get you to bare your throat to him. His tongue swipes over your jugular and your eyes screw shut, “No one’s taking you from me ever again.”

Your mouth hangs open, pants of needy air puffing out of your lips. You hold him by the back of his head, fingers wound in his hair, egging him on. You whimper when he bites the curve of your shoulder, but the way your hips roll forward affirms him that he’s doing something right.

“Fuck,” Bakugo mutters, picking you up with his arms around your waist, “fuckin’ hell.”

Your eyes are trained on him as he walks you to the bed. You watch his eyes dart over the space behind you so he can be sure he’s not bumping you into anything, keeping you safe even now, even as he wants to raw up your little body with his own set of bruises. Your legs stay latched around his waist, tugging him closer to you when it feels like he may pull away.

Kastuki shakes his head, “I’m right here.”

Tears well up in the corner of your eyes from the softness of his voice alone; you don’t know what you would have done if he hadn’t been the one to find you. Your hands palm at his face, thumbing over his cheekbones to try and memorize the layout of his face like a blueprint.

“Shh,” he hushes you, leaning down to kiss either of your eyelids, “stop cryin’, dummy.”

“You were right,” you shake your head as the realization dawns over you. “You can’t stay. You have other, better things to do. Your job isn’t to babysit me, Katsuki. You need to be a hero. You ne-”

Another kiss cuts your rambling short, his mouth harsh when he tugs on your lips. His teeth nip at your lower lip, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Both of his palms slide under your shoulders, pushing you with the heels of his hands so your chest is pressed completely to him, his body aching to feel your own. He kisses you until your mouth is aching, your chest begging for breath. Your wrists and ankles start to burn, the reminder of your eventful night biting at your skin like an animal.

You wince and Bakugo pulls away, searching your face for the reason of your sudden movement.

“Oh shit,” he lowers you back to the mattress, tugging on your arms so he can unwrap your bandages to inspect your wounds.

Once he sees the injuries, his body begs to light on fire again, his rage bubbling like acid in his stomach. His lip curls into a snarl and he squeezes his eyes shut, your bloody body projected onto the backs of his eyelids.

“Will you stay with me?”

Your request interrupts his self-deprecating thoughts. He can see the glistening of tears on your face, feel the quivering of your body as your nerves get the better of you. Bakugo wants to protest, he wants to tell you that he needs to blow off some steam, but with the gentle pout and quiver of your lip, he’s completely forgotten his desire to blow a hole in every bad guy he can find tonight.

Katsuki wraps your wrists back in the bandages, taping them securely before leaning back, glancing over you as if it were the last time he would ever see you.

Before you can protest or start rambling again, he lowers himself down to curl around your body, holding your head to his chest. You cradle your arms between the two of you, looking down at your fingers.

“My father was right,” you swallow, curling your hands to fists. “I-I wanted to kill that guy. I...I almost hurt you.”

Bakugo nudges his knee against your thigh, “As if, I just didn’t want to blast your head off.”

You want to laugh, but the sound is stuck in your throat. He senses your hesitation and tilts your head back with his thumb under the sensitive patch of skin just beneath your chin, “Hey. You did what you had to do. Power is hard to control sometimes.”

He kisses your forehead, your skin smoothing under his warm mouth. You attempt to keep your lips from quivering with the threat of tears, “My quirk is scary, Katsuki.”

“Everything is scary if you let it scare you,” he mumbles, nudging his nose over your own. Your eyes flutter shut and you turn so you can kiss him again. He chuckles against your lips, “You scare me, sometimes. Or rather, the idea of you.”

You know that he’s just affirming what you’ve said - of course you’re scary. You have a quirk that allows you to manipulate a person’s body. You can snap someone’s neck with a simple twist of your wrist.

“Not like that, stupid,” Bakugo nips your jaw to keep you out of your own head. He takes a deep breath and slips his palm between yours, curling his fingers against your knuckles. “I mean, you hold me so high, when you look at me, I get scared. I can’t live up to this idea of what you think I can do. I’m not this perfect hero, I’m not this great guy.”

He licks his lips, “I want to burn everyone I’m with so they’ll stay away, but you’re different. And that scares the shit out of me.”

Your mouth parts at his declaration, words hanging on your tongue. You’re not sure how to respond. Bakugo loved seeing your quirk when it was being used on flowers and fruit, but now that it was used on a person - how did that not frighten him? How was it the way you looked at him that shook him to his core, and not the reality that you could snatch his blood vessels from his body, that you can control his muscles that sit under his skin?

“I told you, baby, you’re a badass. Okay? How could I ever get scared of someone who pushes me to be better?” Bakugo is smiling now, genuinely grinning, and that takes all of your nerves and pushes them away. You mimic his expression, squeezing his palm with gentle pressure so as to not aggravate your wounds.

“Now, c’mon, you little shit, close your eyes and get some sleep.” Bakugo tucks your head under his chin as he toes off his boots, kicking them off the bed. His mouth is in your hair, muffled as he speaks, “Or else I’ll knock you out myself, got it?”

“Sir yes sir,” you say through a yawn.

His body tenses under your words and he seethes, “Careful with that.”

You smirk, nipping your teeth against the thin skin of his neck just over his jugular, “Yes sir.”

“Ah, fuckin’ hell.”

a/n: lol i am so mean i’m sorry! also.. if you would like a part two, lemme know and i’ll consider it :-)

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