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lacharcutiere · 3 years

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ur my favorite drug & my worst hangover [nsfw 18+, terushima yūji]

5,9k words

✯haikyuu!! masterlist✯

winter sem break brings the new year, & a few other new developments too.

smut, tiny bit of angst, fwb, fluff // quit - lil aaron & travis barker. god this song goes so hard

the way all i talk abt is how much i love teru but have nothing to show for it— yeah we’re gonna fix that. man i love him

☾𓆙𓂻

— SOBER

the soft hum of the tv in the background slowly fades into your awareness as you blink blearily awake, almost forgetting where you are for a second.

you’re in yūji’s living room, duh. your semestral break has not been nearly as interesting as either of you’d hoped: instead, you’ve both succumbed to alternating between each other’s childhood homes, binging netflix and random youtube videos and eating chips and tubs of ice cream late into the night, as has been your custom for years.

it’s dim but for the glow of the screen, and it’s kind of chilly in here now, even with you wrapped up in a hoodie. (yours, not yūji’s. you only borrow his in emergencies.)

he’s not next to you now, but his footsteps—you know them by now: quick and kind of heavy but not overbearingly loud—are entering the room again, and you feel the sofa cushions dip a little as he retakes his seat next to you.

“hey,” he says, smiling, “you’re awake.”

“hmmph,” you mumble, sitting upright to stretch your back. “what time is it?”

“uh.” he squints at the digital clock next to the tv. “like one?”

“‘m cold.”

“me too.”

“‘nd tired.”

“you just woke up?”

“i’m tired,” you whine.

yūji groans. “you’re really gonna make me go to sleep this early?”

“you don’t have to sleep, but i will.”

“yeah,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “but who’s gonna keep me company then?”

“i dunno,” you shoot back, “text tetsu or something. he’s probably still up.”

he rolls his eyes but relents, standing from the sofa. “fine.” and he holds out a hand to help you up, which you don’t take.

“i can do shit for myself,” you joke, rolling your eyes.

“right.”

—

it’s not much warmer in his room despite the thermostat supposedly being set to an acceptable temperature, but at least the sleeping bag on the floor next to yūji’s bed is insulated, and he’s given you a couple extra blankets for which you’re grateful. the biting chill of january does not fuck around.

so you nestle yourself into a little cocoon of linens and pillows and pull your hood up, curling into a ball in an effort to conserve your body heat. you hear him laugh a little as he watches you.

“what?”

“nothing.”

there’s the light hum of a phone ringing a few times, and that little beep as tetsu picks up the facetime call.

sleep clouds your senses to the background music of stifled laughter and loud whispers and the occasional static of yūji’s phone speaker.

— BUT U PULLED ME CLOSER

the next few minutes, hour—you have no idea—pass just like that, with you drifting languidly in and out of sleep and the sounds of yūji and tetsurō’s voices audible but incomprehensible in the background.

last you remember, you’re slipping back under again, hearing tetsu through the staticky iphone speaker.

and then you wake up again because you’re fucking freezing and it’s quiet and the lights are off, except for the little reading light mounted to the headboard of yūji’s bed. you sit up on your elbows, craning your neck, and see that he’s still up, lying on his stomach with his phone dimly illuminating his face.

“what time’s it?” you mumble.

“uh... 2:38.” he pauses. “y’alright?”

“cold,” you say.

he locks his phone then, and he just looks at you kind of blankly and maybe a little mockingly? except it must not be mocking; it must be something else, because he’s just kind of... studying you.

you look back up at him expectantly. “what?” you say.

he sighs, kind of rolls his eyes, turns away from the light to hide the little smile playing on his lips. “come on up here.” he scoots over and pats the spot next to him.

thankful for an extra source of body heat and blankets and pillows, you shove yourself up off the ground and shuffle over to the bed.

it’s kind of funny, the way you’re basically adults now and yet your relationship’s still fundamentally the same as it was when you met years ago.

—

duh, yūji hates that. it’s true, that whole thing about how “every one of your guy friends has thought about fucking you at some point.” it’s true, at least for him.

and there’s something electric in how you haven’t slept next to him in months because you’ve both been busy with school, and now you’re back here. back here, where it feels like you belong.

there’s something deep in his chest that’s set aflame by the way you laugh and let him tuck the comforter over you; the way your sweatpant-covered legs brush against his own underneath it.

he wants to touch you.

he wants to wrap his hand around your thigh and pull it over his own; to run his fingertips up the length of your arm and make you shiver; to snake his around your waist and pull your head into his chest.

maybe he will once you’re asleep, he figures. once his pride can’t be hurt because you don’t have to know.

except... except he’d let it be hurt for you. without a moment’s hesitation. he would shatter it himself for you, would let you take him in your fingers and rip him to pieces too small to be puzzled back together.

because maybe he doesn’t just want you. maybe he loves you.

but even he, completely truthfully, doesn’t know.

he’s got a sneaking suspicion that he does, though, because he’s rarely confused and this is an enigma he can’t quite seem to decipher, no matter what he tries.

it’s absurd, too, he realizes laying on his back next to you, how suddenly he’s afraid to touch you. because the two of you have always been touchy, that’s just you. you’re two halves; you’re so similar. you’ve been attached at the hip since childhood—why is it different now, now that he wants that more than anything?

so here he is, spiraling in this conundrum of feelings, when it’s cut short by you, tiredly whining, “yūji.”

“what?” he sort of feigns annoyance.

“‘m cold.”

“and?”

and. and his breath catches because you roll over and latch onto him. and he brings his arms around your shoulders and holds you to his chest.

so close, and yet so far away.

and he shudders as you lay one hand flat on his chest. it belongs there forever.

you nuzzle your nose into his shoulder and inhale his scent and his brain short-circuits.

has she done this before?

and mostly unconscious, you mumble, “—warm. y’re pretty’.” his eyes go wide.

“what?”

your arms tighten around him, and he’d hate to admit it, but it’s setting him off. he’s... a little hard.

a hand settles itself on your thigh, the one that’s draped over his legs, and he pushes it downward a little, so that it’s not resting next to the rising erection in his pajama pants.

god, he wants to fuck you so badly right now, he wants for you to feel him throbbing between your legs as you whimper against his skin. but he also wants you to want him.

miraculously, a little sigh escapes your lips at the touch. so he doesn’t move his hand.

“feels nice,” you whisper.

so he decides to test the waters, and squeezes gently. you giggle sleepily.

inhibitions dissipating for a moment, his stomach leaps to his chest and he snakes that hand up over your hip, consciously avoiding your ass just in case, and rests it on your back, rubbing up and down slowly.

his chest constricts as you snuggle even closer to him. and then your leg moves back up and your thigh nudges his crotch.

your eyes snap open and he inhales sharply.

and then you’re propped up on your elbow, leaning over him.

he curses himself for forgetting to turn off the light; the flush in his cheeks is obvious.

half terrified and half excited, he watches as your face breaks into a wide, shit-eating grin.

“what?” he breathes.

your eyes narrow; a look of mischief he’s so familiar with, one that’s often mirrored on his own features. (it’s not now.)

“yūji,” you say, singsong and bright, “what’s this?”

and—oh, god, oh, fuck—you bring a hand down to rest on his dick, tenting in his pajamas.

he doesn’t know what to say to you.

“i— uhm—”

“hmm,” you hum. “y’ alright?”

he clears his throat, nods. “are— uh, are you?”

“mhm,” you laugh, wide awake now. “yūji...” you pause. he can’t stand it; he needs to know what happens next, needs to know what’s fanning the flames behind your eyes.

oh god. oh god, all he leaves is a breath in between and then you’re throwing your leg over him again and, fuck, you’re straddling him. he lets out a shaky breath, voice tight as he chokes out, “what are you doing?”

the smile is gone from your face now, replaced with something softer, something lustful. your hands move to his shoulders to balance yourself as you grind your hips down, and a low ahh slips out of him.

it’s just like that, just your clothed bodies rubbing together. he comes embarrassingly quickly in his boxers, but he lets you ride his thigh until you finish as recompense.

afterward, he excuses himself and cleans himself off in the bathroom. when he comes back, you’re sound asleep again.

that’s all that happens.

— UR GONNA FUCK ME UP

following that, everything proceeds as it had before. neither of you bother to speak of it, but nothing even seems off between you at all. it’s as if it never happened.

or maybe, yūji sometimes allows himself to think as he touches himself to the memory in the middle of nights when you’re not together, it’s like it was meant to happen.

what a wonderful illusion that is.

because he knows it won’t work, and if you ever thought about him like that, you would know, too.

the two of you have watched each other fall in love—get dumped, ghost people, whatever—several times over the past few years. he remembers your first boyfriend, your last year of middle school: the guy had been a mutual friend that you’d been crushing on for months. and yet, when you’d finally become a thing, it had taken no more than a couple of weeks for you to grow uninterested and dump him.

it’s not like he hasn’t done similar things in the past.

and it’s not like some people who’ve dated either of you haven’t had better luck; there have been several who have been the ones to break your hearts.

but both of you have yet to have maintained a long-term relationship, and neither of you have kept in contact with many of your exes.

he doesn’t want to be another one of those, and he certainly doesn’t want you to be, either.

—

it’s maybe a week after that night when you pick him up to go get takeout and ice cream.

that, in itself, is a pretty normal thing.

but then you’re sitting in your car, and between spoonfuls of mocha chip and hot caramel, you say, “so i saw this thing.”

“hm?” he responds, his mouth still full.

“your aura is striking, dude,” you quote. there’s a pause as you try to suppress a giggle. and then: “can i kiss you deeply, bro?”

he snorts and jokes, “anytime you want.” and he really hopes that you take his tone at face value, but he also knows you way better than that.

so he’s only half surprised when you actually do. half surprised, and wholly in awe.

your hands are in each other’s hair. it’s quick—feverish, but quick—and the first thing you say when you pull back is, “tastes like sugar.”

he laughs again, unsure of what move to make next. “yeah?”

and then you’re... shy? because you look away from him, back down to the cup of ice cream in your lap, and you say, “you feel good.” it’s so low that it’s almost unintelligible. but he hears you.

both your faces are burning when you look back up at him. “should we talk about that?”

“‘bout what? kissing? ‘s not the first time.”

it isn’t—he kissed you once in middle school, because there was this other girl that he’d thought was pretty, and he wanted to make her jealous. it hadn’t worked; she’d just thought the two of you were together, and a teacher had scolded you for pda. but at least it had been a fun story to laugh at for a while after.

this is obviously different, though, and you both know that. this kiss wasn’t to make anyone jealous. this one was for yourselves.

and anyway, that’s not what you meant by that.

“no,” you say. “the um... last week. at your place.”

“oh, yeah.”

“should we, um, do you wanna talk about it?”

“d’you?”

you shrug.

“alright,” he says. pauses. “so... what was that about?”

and you almost laugh incredulously. “you’re asking me?”

he stares blankly.

“you’re the one who got a boner when we were cuddling, yūji. as if we’ve never done that before.” you notice the mortified look on his face, and your expression softens and your voice lowers. “you wanna tell me what that was about? you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

and he laughs nervously and says, “no, no, ‘s fine. i was just kinda horny, that’s all. i haven’t hooked up with anyone in a while, y’know?”

you give him a sardonic grin. “and that’s why it only took you, like, three minutes to come?”

“yeah... yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

a moment passes where you stop and think for a little, and then you turn back to look at him. “it was, uh, good, though. like, objectively. it was good.”

it’s his turn to flash a grin at you: “‘course it was. it’s me.”

“and me.”

“shoulda won the sex gods superlative in last year’s yearbook.”

“ha.” another thing crosses your mind: “and now look at us. too busy with school to even have time to fuck anyone.”

yūji doesn’t say anything, so you do it for him.

you start out carefully. “but...”

“but?”

“do you— i mean. we’ve got, like, what? three weeks left before we go back? and we’re stuck here. and— and we already hang out like every single day anyway, and. uh. and it was objectively good.”

“are you—”

“and i’ve known you for years. come on. there’s, like, nothing i could do to embarrass myself around you anymore.”

friends with benefits. you’re suggesting that you temporarily be friends with benefits.

“and it wasn’t weird after last time,” you add. “i think.”

“hm,” he says, “yeah, no, it wasn’t.”

his first instinct is to say no, to tell you it’s a bad idea. but as he thinks about it more, he realizes that you’re kind of right. and anyway, what is the worst that could happen? because he’s pretty sure he’s far gone enough for you that falling a little further wouldn’t change a thing. even if he weren’t, he’d never think of hurting you intentionally.

and, he figures, he’d hardly mind being hurt by you.

—

that is how you end up back in his bed an hour later—his parents are out on a date this evening; you’ve got until a few hours past sundown to fuck and clean yourselves off and make it look like you’ve been eating and talking and watching tv the whole time.

outside of the guise of midnight impulses, it is a strange—but also strangely pleasant—thing to be having sex with your best friend.

there’s no pretense, hardly any need to keep up appearances (at least, for you). you’re not strangers only concerned with your own pleasure; you know each other. despite never actually having done this before, he already knows what you like, and vice versa.

it’s nice.

it’s nice to hear him laugh when you whine for him to stop being so gentle, vanilla-ass bitch, only to have him call you a “horny little—” (to which you respond, no, you.)

and it’s nice to sleep with someone who reads all the cues you give him without you even needing to say anything.

it is possibly the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

it is possibly the best sex you’ve ever had in your life, and... it might not be just because of the dynamic between you two, or the fact that you don’t have to be afraid to tell him what you like and what you don’t—the fact that you don’t even have to tell him at all.

it’s nice. for you. and it’s hell for him.

it’s hell for him to have to hold back all the sweet nothings he wants to whisper in your ear—he’s restricted to you like that, huh, baby? and fuuuck and god, you’re so fucking tight, and he knows you’re into it, but he wants to be treating you like a princess right now. he wants to call you his, wants to whisper, tell me you’re all mine against your bare shoulders, wants to tell you he loves you.

so... he does love you.

but he can’t say that. he knows he can keep you around, but you’re not his to keep.

—

it continues like that for the next several days: you fuck, it’s good sex, and he’ll touch himself to the memories if you’re not there: memories of how you taste, of the softness of your skin, of you with your legs around his waist and your bare chests pressed together, damp and warm with sweat.

it is so gratifying, and even more painful.

and then, one day, as he’s fucking you in your childhood bedroom—all white walls covered in sketches and colorful postcards you’ve accumulated over the years—something is slightly off.

there’s something about it that feels more intimate than the other times, and it goes slower than before. it’s not all lust and clothes tossed haphazardly on the floor and bodies shoved hurriedly into mattresses.

you kiss him for a long time before any clothing comes off, and you keep pulling him back to your lips as he thrusts into you. you’re not urging him faster, more, harder; you let him keep a steady pace and arch your back into the sheets as you lie underneath him.

it hits him as you come down from your orgasm and writhe in his arms, softly moaning, “god, yūji, i l—”

he stops.

“don’t say that,” he says.

still shaking and catching your breath, you respond, “what?”

“just don’t.” but his tone is casual, and so you don’t think much of it.

—

you don’t hook up every time you hang out, and yeah. you were right. it’s hardly different than before. except, isn’t it?

you’re sitting on opposite sides of your sofa one morning after your parents have left for work—he slept over the previous night, but you didn’t have sex. you’d spent it laughing over the dumbest things and blasting music as you drove around without a destination.

your’re sitting with your knees pulled against your chest, scrolling lazily on your phone while you and yūji eat handfuls of cereal straight from the box between you.

it’s mostly quiet for once; comfortably silent. neither of you have ever really been a morning person.

— BUT U KNOW I LIKE IT

the ice cracks a little when he stops shoving your hand away to grab himself another handful of cereal. you notice, and then you wonder if you always noticed little things like that, because it feels kind of weird to. not that you mind.

meanwhile, yūji watches you, studying the way your hair falls messily around your face, the way one sleeve of your sweatshirt is rolled halfway up your forearm and the other is pulled all the way over your hand.

the living room is bright, surrounded by windows, and you’re illuminated by light yellow late-morning sunlight all around and he feels safe looking at you.

the ice cracks a little more when he says your name softly.

“hm?” you say, confusedly looking up at him.

“nothing,” he answers, too quickly. “i’m just... happy right now.”

you smile, radiant. “i’m glad you are.”

—

in the afternoon, you’ve grown bored and are wandering the streets of your neighborhood, voicing thoughts and pointing out people you pass by.

it’s still early, but it’s january, so the sun is already beginning to set.

when you’re a couple minutes out from your house, yūji goes quiet, and it stays like that for the rest of the walk.

and then, as he stands next to you while you unlock the door, he blurts, “i have to tell you something.”

you freeze. “what?”

it’s silent for a bit. “never mind.”

“yūji—”

“it’s okay,” he says softly.

he wants to shrink away from your gaze as you study him. he knows you know there’s something amiss, and second thoughts have almost always been his own personal hell.

graciously, though, you don’t ask. and it’s like stepping through a portal when you’re back inside; it’s all forgotten and back to how it was before.

—

but: a little while later, you’re lying side-by-side on your bed watching netflix again, and for whatever reason you turn to look at him for a moment and it’s just—

you can’t look away. and you don’t know why.

he can feel your eyes on him and it burns, and he wonders how much longer he can keep this up before he loses his mind.

when he doesn’t turn to face you, you call his name softly.

“hm?”

after an uncomfortable moment of hesitation, you say, “something’s up.”

“what?”

“yūji,” you repeat, and he forgets to breathe for a second. “are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

the mattress shifts under his weight as he sits up, resting his head in his hands. he takes a deep breath and can’t bring himself to meet your eyes.

“what’s wrong?” it sounds less like a question and more like a plea.

“i—” he starts, and then stops himself. “i can’t, i can’t do this to you.”

“can’t do what?”

there’s a painful silence, heavy with anticipation and maybe a little bit of dread.

“i don’t wanna keep hooking up with you.”

you sit up, too.

“did i...? do something wrong?”

he shakes his head and sighs, and he sounds exasperated. “it’s... no, it’s— i think...” and he seems to grow more frustrated as he fails to verbalize whatever it is, this strange cold fire stinging in the pit of his stomach.

“what do you think?” you whisper.

and he stands and walks to the door. his hand rests on the knob and he whispers back, in a voice that sounds precariously close to breaking, “you, when i... y’know. ’m sorry.”

and he’s gone.

and you have no idea what to think, both of what he just said and the fact that it sends an excited buzz through your nerves, even though it probably shouldn’t.

— IT'S HARD N IT'S HARDER TO ADMIT

his words are stuck in your head all night, have you caught somewhere in between laughing and crying.

you want to call him, ask him what the fuck is going on and why you think you kind of like it, but you don’t.

but when you look over at your alarm clock to see that it’s 2:00 a.m. and sleep refuses to let you succumb to it and you relent to the warm emptiness between your legs, it’s yūji whom you imagine is there to fill it.

you think of the way his tongue trails down the expanse of your neck, the way he feels inside you, as you whine into your pillow and desperately try to make yourself come.

it doesn’t even occur to you until later, when you’re waking up to sunlight slicing through your half-open blinds. and then it does, and you text him: i do that too.

he doesn’t text back, but ten minutes later, your phone rings. he sounds breathless.

“be here in ten,” he says.

you pause. “okay.”

and you are. he throws open the door as he hears your car pull up and jogs out to meet you, and all he gives you is a quick, “hey,” before dragging you inside.

there’s no one else home, so he motions for you to have a seat at the kitchen table and takes the one next to you.

“do what too?”

“what?”

“what you texted me.”

you look down, studying the seams of your sleeve and feeling your breathing go shallow.

“do what too?” he repeats.

and softly, you say, “want you.”

yūji stands, pulling you to your feet with him. “want me how?”

your eyes are wide and a little bit sad as you stare up at him. “i don’t know.”

then he cracks a tiny smile. “good,” he says, “i don’t either.

except he does.

he wants you every way, your presence, your time, your body, your fucking soul, all of it. but he doesn’t say that.

when you kiss him, he implodes, melts into your arms as if he’s trying to fuse your bodies together. but he says nothing of it.

the feeling of your wrist in his hand, the sound of your giddy giggles as he leads you to his bedroom—for now, that’s enough.

he takes it slow.

when he’s shut the door and ensured it’s locked, he turns to find you’ve already tossed your top on the floor.

a smile meets yours, gentle fingertips on your cheek, a soft whisper against your hair: “put it back on; i wanna do it myself.”

and you laugh and oblige, shivering at the now-familiar sensation of the warm metal bead on his tongue against your lip as his hand finds its way to your ass and squeezes gently.

“yūji,” you whisper.

“i like it when you say my name like that,” he murmurs into your shoulder, rubbing gently up and down your back underneath your shirt.

“hmm,” comes your contented response.

and then his fingers are rubbing gently against the hem of your shirt, easing it up to reveal your body inch by inch, and you shiver a little under his feather-light touch.

lifting your arms up, you allow him to slip your shirt back over your head, and then his hands are all over you again, squeezing your breasts through your bra and tracing lines up and down the center of your back. the little metal ball on his tongue presses against your lower lip. you tug at the hem of his hoodie, and he pulls it off.

the feeling of his skin on yours is nothing new now, and yet this time, there’s a certain nuance to it that he can’t place.

he wonders how you want him again; can’t stop wondering as you lead his hand down to the button on your jeans, laughing a little as he kneels at your feet to unzip them.

as he pulls them slowly down your legs he lines your thighs with little, butterfly-soft kisses, murmuring unintelligible praises.

when you’re left in only your bra and panties, he wraps his arms around your waist and falls backward onto the mattress, taking you down with him. you sit up a little, so that you’re straddling him, and he lets out a low sigh.

“you are fucking incredible,” he breathes as you suck gently at his neck, leaving light marks that will have faded by tomorrow.

your fingers trace the dips between his abs, tantalizingly, eventually making their way all the way down his stomach to the waistband of his sweats, and then a little further, palming his dick through them and feeling how fucking hard he is.

he groans a little, says, “please don’t tease me,” as you continue to do exactly that, but he doesn’t stop you.

when you shift a little so that you’re positioned right over him, soaking panties rubbing a tiny little wet spot into the tent of his erection, he sits up and gathers your body into his arms, lips and tongue moving against yours as one hand unclips your bra while the other settles itself on your hip, grinding you down against him. you press your thighs together at this feeling of pure need you’re experiencing and he pulls his mouth away and looks you in the eye.

“may i?” he whispers, and you smile and nod, laughing as he rolls you off of him to rid himself of the rest of his clothes and dig a condom out of his bedside table, which he hands to you.

you’re impatient as you tear it open but force yourself to roll it onto him slowly, studying his face as he revels in the feeling of your fingers grazing lightly against his dick.

once it’s on, he flips you over again, laughing, and exhales slowly as he slides your panties down your legs and tosses them somewhere on the floor to be found later. his fingertips ghost gently down the sides of your thighs as he bends down to lick a long stripe between your legs and across your clit.

“fuck,” you breathe as he groans softly against your skin, the vibrations sending an electrifying buzz up your spine.

he presses his tongue flat against you, metal bar circling your clit teasingly, and then he pulls away and groans, “sit on my face,” his words hurried and slurred with lust.

so you let him move to lie on his back and straddle his face, giggling as he wraps his hands around your thighs to pull you closer.

“aw, don’t be shy, i thought that’s the whole point of this,” he says.

and then his mouth is back on you again, tongue flicking slowly and carefully, taking in your every response, and soon he’s got you shaking on top of him, grasping at the headboard and his shoulders and tangling your fingers in his hair.

he keeps going after you’ve already finished, making you writhe and whimper, only letting go of you once he’s satisfied.

he pushes you backward so that you’re still sitting with your knees on either side of him and he sits up, leaning back against the headboard. his lips are on yours, then, and he’s pulling your hips to his, the head of his cock nudging ever-so-lightly against your entrance.

“quit teasing me,” you whine when he grips your waist, refusing to let you sit yourself on his dick.

“i’m not.”

“yes you are!”

“‘m not,” he mumbles, smiling, as he draws his lips down the curve of your left shoulder and back up again. “i’m savoring the moment.”

you huff. “you can savor it with your cock in me.” and yūji does his best not to show it, but the high he gets from those words alone, from knowing how desperate you are for him, even if it’s just for his body, sends him straight to heaven. because regardless of how much of him you want, it’s still only him that you want in this moment, and right now that’s enough.

you allow him to move at his own pace, his movements slow, languid as he holds you to his chest, one hand around your waist and the other reaching up to tangle his fingers in your hair. he lets himself say the things he wants now.

“kiss me?” he whispers, and you oblige happily. you taste like him, and he’s so content he could lose his mind.

instead he loses himself to you, shaky breaths between “god, you’re so good,” and “you have no idea… how long i’ve waited… for you to want me like this.” there’s a single thing he holds back from saying, but he still plans on saying it. he’s just saving it for the right moment.

you’re drunk off of him, your body shuddering against him with every touch of his skin to yours, not knowing what to say and yet feeling as if you know everything you’ve ever needed to. and you say it for him.

“i love you.”

the words are barely there, just a breath against his lips as you kiss him, and it’s too much for him. he finishes with something akin to a sob, taking your face into his hands. “i love you,” he responds. and then, “say it again? please?”

you close your eyes and smile, leaning into him and brushing your lips against his. “i love you, yūji.”

his hand’s on the back of your head, then, pushing you back to his mouth, wanting you closer, wanting more. and you want more, too, fingers tracing lines down his back and arms and stomach, sending waves of light through his skin. this is it, he thinks as you press your body tight against his, this is all there is.

you are everything to him.

— SOMETHING ABT U I CAN’T QUIT

in each other’s arms later that evening, you feel yūji’s chest move slowly up and down with each inhale and exhale, contented in sharing this silent moment with you, and then you know. you know how you want him. you open your mouth to speak, and he does at the exact same time. the two of you share a laugh, just like you always have.

“you first,” you say, propping yourself up on your elbow so that you can look at him properly.

he reaches up and rests a hand flat against your face and runs his thumb lightly over your bottom lip. “i am…” the words are slow and quiet and purposeful. “i am so in love with you.”

your smile widens against his hand. “i want you. everything… about you, with you. i want it all.”

and he mirrors your grin, just like he always has. “i’m yours to take.” his eyes flit down to your lips, his thumb still pressed against them, afraid to look you in the eye as he speaks his next words. his face flushes pink; it’s adorable. “say you’re mine, too?” it’s a request, a plea—not a command.

you reach up to your face and place your hand over his. “all yours,” you say. “don’t even have to ask.”

it’s silent for a bit again, and then he sits up, going a little more serious.

“what?”

“what happens if this doesn’t last?”

you sit up, too, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and gently pulling his head to rest against yours. “after all these years?”

“hmm.”

you think for a moment: after all these years. your whole lives, spent together, maybe not as lovers but always as two halves of a whole. it’s him you always gossip to first, whom you always went to after heartbreaks and fights with your parents. he’s the first one you told when you lost your virginity, crashed your car, got into one of your top universities. he’s held your hand through everything.

so finally you say, “i don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

he pulls away to look you in the eye. “why not?”

his nose brushes against yours as you lean your forehead against his and laugh a little. “are you dumb, yūji?”

“i don’t think so?” when you say nothing, just continuing to look at him with that shit-eating grin on your face, he goes, “am i missing something?”

you press your lips to his for a second and pull away, still smiling at him. “it’s us, yūji. always has been.”

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

survey by tickticktmr

Do you have a digital camera? What color is it? Nope. I’ve just been using my phone for over the past decade now, which fortunately got a lot better over the years. My current phone is the iPhone 12 Pro Max and it’s gold.

Did you like the movie Juno? Yeah.

Name something you think is way over-rated: Drinking alcohol.

Do you remember your first friend? Yeah, these two girls when I was in preschool named, Starr and Crystal.

Would you rather live with your mom, dad, a friend or on your own? I live with both my parents currently and I like that.

Name something your pet(s) like: My doggo loves zucchini.

Do you listen to country music? Yeah, some.

What does the color white remind you of? Purity and cleanliness.

What show/movie/song makes you cry every time? “Everlong”. (the acoustic version) by Foo Fighters is a song that always makes me cry or feel sad because of the memory attached to it.

What was your last fight about? I don’t remember.

Do you text a lot? No.

Have you ever been screamed at by a teacher? No.

Do you smile or scowl more? Probably scowl, ha. I’m always in some kind of pain, feel crappy, or in a mood and I feel it shows on my face.

Obama or Bush? --

Batman or Superman? Superman.

Are you excited about Blink 182 getting back together? I’m not sure how old this is or what they’re up to now. I hear about Travis Barker a lot lately cause he’s dating a Kardashian, but I haven’t heard about him or the band in a long time.

Would you rather be a teacher, a stripper or a hairdresser? A teacher out of the 3, but I really don’t want to be any of them.

The last person you spoke to: how many times have they made you cry? I don’t know.

What's your favorite kind of gum? Minty kind only.

Have you ever failed a class in school? I had to retake a math course in community college.

Are you even in school? No, not anymore. I graduated UC back in 2015.

Are you taller then your best friend? No.

Are you scared of spiders? Terrified.

You can't eat anything ever again except for jello or apples: which one? Oh jeez. I don’t like jello and apples would get old very fast for me. That would really suck if those were my only two options. Granted, I’d get tired of any one food if that’s all I could have, but those two aren’t even on the list of foods I like.

Have you ever cheated on anyone? No.

If you answered yes to the last question, do they know about it? -- Do you paint your nails often? No. It’s been a few years since I’ve painted them last.

Mascara or lipgloss? I haven’t worn any makeup at all in like 4 years now, but back when I did mascara was a must.

Who’s the last person you called? My mom.

Describe the last person who sent you a text: It was my doordasher last night sending me the photo of the food he dropped off at my door, ha.

Do you ever watch TV shows or movies on YouTube? I have in the past, but it’s been a long time.

Myspace or facebook? Facebook. Myspace has been dead for well over a decade now.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? I think I was 6.

Have you ever embarassed yourself in front of someone you like? Of course.

Describe your hair right now: Up in its usual messy bun cause I can’t be bothered to do anything else with it.

Do you like it when it rains? I love it.

Does anyone miss you right now? I doubt it.

How many funerals have you been to? Three.

Where's your favorite place to hang out? My bed.

Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants? No.

Do you like video games? What's your favorite one? I love Mario Bro games. I also like this series called Life is Strange. They have a few different games out now and a new one coming out later this year.

Have you ever worn something your parents wouldn't approve of? Nah.

Where are your sibling(s)? My younger brother is in his room asleep. I’m assuming my older brother is at home asleep as well.

When's the last time a friend got dumped/dumped someone? *shrug*

Do you celebrate Valentine's day? It’s always been just another day for me cause I’ve always been single for it. I used to get candy or watch romcoms or something on that day and my mom does get me a gift every year like a gift card or stuffed animal or something, but that’s really it.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yes.

Does it snow where you live? No, sadly.

Have you ever wanted a pet unicorn? Nah.

Would you like to work to earn money, or simply have money given to you? I mean, the last one doesn’t sound so bad... :X haha.

If you could be on any game show, what one would it be? I’d bomb any gameshow, but perhaps Family Feud. I like playing along at home, but that’s a lot different when there’s no pressure or anything on the line.

Do you know anyone whose famous? No.

Do you read those gossip magazines? I used to.

Summer or winter? Winter, most definitely. What do you hear right now? My TV and myself typing.

When's the last time you saw a cousin? Over a year ago.

Where were you the last time you left your house? I went to my doctor appointment. That was back in January. I only leave my house since the pandemic started last year for my once a month doctor appointment and last month is was via Zoom. I have to go in-person this month on Friday, though. Meh.

Describe the room you are in: It’s my room and is full of giraffe stuffed animals and other knickknacks.

What shoes did you wear today? I won’t be wearing any shoes today since I’m not going anywhere.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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smpe-cscoop · 4 years

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#2 - november 23rd, 2019

(cooper uploaded a video with clips from the first and second smpe stream, found here)

cooper and travis joined after playing as team make a wish in mc saturdays #2

cooper joined and immediately joke flirted with wilbur in chat ->

WilburSoot: cooper you free for a proposition? cscoop: im free if you know what i mean, wilbur ;) WilburSoot: i do ;) WilburSoot: omw

cooper read a sign from tommyinnit and immediately declared that tommy ‘was not allowed on his land’, despite never having met him before??

cooper: i don’t know tommyinnit, and i don’t care. he’s not allowed on my land! if i catch him on my land i decree SanDiego law, he’s dead, ight?

(unbeknownst to cooper, this would be foreshadowing).

wilbur, charlie soot and tommy joined his voice chat.

wilbur desperately tried to talk to cooper about his railway but kept on getting interrupted by the following:

- travis vibing on 160mg of caffeine

- tommy being a schlatt stan and also a bastard

- cooper attempting to murder tommy

travis was freed from the grand canyon and started attacking tommy and also fucking barking at him because he’s an actual furry apparently

charlie and wilbur left and abandoned tommy to be dealt with by travis

tommy killed travis and was declared an official enemy of the state by cooper

after tommy left the stream calmed down, and josh joined the call. cooper made it clear he didn’t actually have anything against tommy, and was just doing a bit.

tommy raided cooper and cooper mispronounced his name as ‘timmy’.

travis continually asked cooper to let him murder, but cooper played the older brother and wouldn’t let him.

weest joined the call and he and travis got into an argument about geography because travis is a brainlet. travis doxxed himself by saying he failed history twice and had to retake geography, but that he did well in all his other classes (and somehow got a fucking 102% in economics??)

this screenshot basically sums up the first half of the stream ->

cooper went into travis’ room irl and insisted he not murder anybody on the server (clip of the following transcript here)

cooper: alright that’s it i’m fuckin [indistinguishable] cooper, distantly: TRAVIS travis: what? cooper: no murder travis: i’m not murdering! who said that, who said that? cooper: no murder! travis: who said that? cooper: no murder! travis: who said that? cooper: no murder!! travis: who said that? weest: what’s happening? what am i hearing? cooper: i had to go tell travis not to murder everyone.

someone paid cooper $50 to make a killing machine, and cooper changed his mind on letting travis murder by asking travis to make a guillotine.

tl;dr - cooper declared tommyinnit an enemy of the state, travis was off the goop and was given homicide permissions.

#smpe cscoop recap #number:two #month:november #year:2019 #has:cscoop #has:traves #has:wilbursoot #has:tommyinnit #has:charliesoot #has:itsjawsh #has:weest #has:lukeorsomething #links:youtube #links:twitter #links:external smpe recap post #links:twitchclip

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thedumbyeehaw · 5 years

Text

things the smplive boys as things me and my friends have said and done...pt2

gold: you’re a bitchass but i’ll run myself over for you any day,,,i still hate you though don’t get me wrong

james: guys i swear if you give me orange juice for my birthday i will go ape mode on you

carson: *my name* if you trip one more person i will go “ARUG GRUG MUG” on you (this is the same friend who said the ape mode :))

cooper: I NEEED MOUNTAIN DEW REDDDDDDD!!

krinios: so my names greg now

joko: HELL YEAH WE PLAYIN WITH LEGOS TODAY HOMIES MWAH

travis: i stuck a pickaxe in the other ones head and said “steve that’s not how u mine diamonds”

ty: *walks into the kitchen and sees a box of halloween oreos open, walks over to them and shuts it* *the box says boo* AHH

mason: i identify as an inconvenience to this world

poke: my brain be going OooOoOooOoOaooaoaoOoOooOoOoO

poke pt 2: okay okay, is it legal to oi wee wee yodeling yodoleheehoo hee hee

sneeg: i just sneezed so hard i broke my hip

connor: i once played pokémon for 24 hours straight and peed my pants

schlatt: the amount of times i have had to retake this god damn business class because i “scam people of money” it’s insane!

#smplive #smp live #yoitsgold #jschlatt #connoreatspants #cscoop #traves #callmecarson #pokay #roastedjames #sneegsnag #undrscrmason #iamtyy #krinios #joko

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mechagalaxy · 4 years

Text

Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184: Mountain Climbing Mecha Combat #1360

(By Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184) Mountain Climbing Mecha Combat #1360 Brought to you by ANN Highlighting the December 3364 Selfsame Chrono This time the Gaming Authorities let us have a single model contest. And each of us was allowed to select which model we wanted to use. Then we were to bring the selected model to the mountains and slug it out. Now, -unless you have focused on one top model almost exclusevly, this gave many (me included) a hard choice. Bring plenty of lesser Mechs and subscribe to the theory that quantity have a quality of its own, -or rely on a smaller formation consisting of elite Mechs? For me that choice was not hard to make. Yes, we could bring a full formation of 60 ton Namtars to the arena. Normally not my first choice as they have this nasty tendency to blow themselves up, but here that would probaly not be an issue. You see, we were to compete on K3, and none of the regulars there would outlicence us by less than 45, some might even have licences more than 130 higher. Given this nasty fact of life, they would probably use my Namtars as (barely) moving targets and rip them apart without us getting even a single shot off. So question was really; which BFM model to use? The 110 tonners were obviously out. Their partway upgrades and lack of equipmentslots would make them even worse than the Namtars. Using 105 tonners was an option, but there was no more than a trio of each model ready, so 100 tonners it would be. And that ment my quintet of Fext`s once again were called upon. We were the first to arrive at the top, and soon the points started ticking in. But other Commanders showed up as well, and soon we were struggling to stay on the slopes, not to mention trying to reclaim the top. My hardest adversaries were George Warren from Warlocks Headquarters (3 Cyberdons), Bob Schlomer of Black Star Lycan Rangers (4 Fexts) + Ales Hasala of Black Star Lycan Rangers and roward from the Northwind Dragons. Both of which had brought a full six-mech line of Boreas`es to the mountain. For the first half of the climb I managed to stay ahead of the pack, but then other duties called and the crew had to fend for themselves. Upon my return they had been driven to the foothills, and the score situation were not a happy reading. There was no way we could win, and unless we managed to claim some fairly high scores the last rounds we might even end in the third rank when the prizes were awarded. So we struck hard upward, and managed to retake the top. None of the other bothered to contest this, as the winner was already decided. But my crew had a good vantage point to get footage, and after the light had flashed it was not too hard to find that the highest scorers had been: Div 1 430+ (18 Commanders): Fabio Favaro, Warlocks HQ (Notos)(+14720) 2: Jeff Haas 3: Sal Vezzosi Jr 4: Were Wolf 5: Shawn Wretham 6: Claude Poirier 7: Bernard Johnson 8: Gary Muenzel 9: Felix Fogg 10: Darryl Proctor Div 2 -429 (17 Commanders): Makema Mathews, "R.V." (Notos)(+12680) Div 3 -325 (10 Commanders): Ales Hasala, B.S.L.R. (Boreas)(+10020) Div 4 -238 (9 Commanders): KiloToneRecoil, B.o.A.D. (Humbaba)(+1790) Div 5 -184 (24 Commanders): Ales Tomasek, Black Star Bandits (Boreas)(+4630) Div 6 -129 (17 Commanders): Jack Travis, T.I.o.M.T. (Boreas)(+15440) Div 7 -98 (20 Commanders): Markus Eisenhand, Renegades (Boreas)(+1170) Div 8 -66 (16 Commanders): Cora Soco Hiller, Sacrificial Lambs (Frigis)(+14360) Div 9 -46 (18 Commanders): Arabel Lane, Major Steel (Nakshi)(+12620) Div 10 -30 (13 Commanders): Map Chapp, I.N.A. (Sever)(+20900) Div 11 -20 (14 Commanders): Maou Flores, Murdermech mini (Commissar)(+14500) Total Contestants: 176 Total medals claimed: 151 (of 165 possible) Compared to the Hoplite event we just finished, another handfull of Commanders showed up to compete for the prizes. And the imbalance between the tops werent as bad as the last time either. Still, a total of fourteen Bronzes from four tops ended unclaimed and had to be returned for resmelting. The mostwinning Mech model this time were the Boreas. It claimed four Golds. The only other multiple-winning model was the Notos, -it took top spot on the two highest tops. None of the standard Mechs were strong enough to claim a Gold in this event. Highest recorded score here was 97 500. Both Map Chapp from Indo Nusa Alliance on K10 and Maou Flores of Murdermechs mini on K11 managed to stay on their tops for all the seventy-nine scorerounds needed to get that score. Map Chapp also had the biggest margin of win, outscoring the closest caller by 20 900. Lowest score needed to get a medal this time were on K6 where 2200 was enough to claim the last Bronze. Eight of the Golds were secured by margins of 10 000+, but we also had two Golds decided by less than 2000, -one of them by less than one rounds top score. So in general, clear winners this time. But was the struggle for the rest of the prizes closer? To find out, we take a look at the differences between the medal tiers in this event: ..Silver to Bronze....Bronze to nothing Div 1 ......1840......…….....4920 Div 2 ......2480...…............1180 Div 3 ......7580...…..............N/A Div 4 ....14580...…..............N/A Div 5 ......7320...…..............420 Div 6 ......9600...…..............940 Div 7 ....17380...…..............540 Div 8 ........620...…............1240 Div 9 ....14340...…..............100 Div 10 ....3480...…..............N/A Div 11 ..10500...…..............N/A Some big and impressive walls this time, but we also had four of the seven contested Bronzes and one of the Silvers decided by margins of less than 1000, -one Bronze by as little as 100. Again, this seem to indicate that signing up early and getting some points before the opponents arrive is a good way of staying ahead and claim (better) prizes. None of the clans managed to claim more than one Gold each, and there were no unaligned winners. The sole repeat winner was Fabio Favaro from Warlocks Headquarters on Mount Olympus. Upcoming event: 10 Red Tons Here only Mechs massing 10 tons (Red Ants) is allowed to fight. How many will manage fail to read the rules and show up using other models this time? Event ends November 5 between 1830 and 1900 New York Time

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hackfixation · 7 years

Text

Sonder: A Solangelo Story

An AU based on Kimi no Na Wa (Your Name)

next ch2 Table of Contents

Chapter 1

The first thing Nico did when he woke up, was wonder why the hell his room was so damn bright. Nobody in his family had walls covered with enough yellow to make the sun inadequate, it was basically sitting in the middle of a lightbulb. Once he got used to the ultra bright room, -like damn take it down a notch- he started to notice other changes to the room. Mainly the millions of medical books laying around and the fact his bed was a somber blue, the shade you might see closer to dusk when the sky is reflected in the beautiful sea wa- wait, why did it smell less like the sea and more? Oh, god was that manure?! Where the hell was he??! After a moment of deliberation, he quickly slipped out of the bed, only to stop and stare at the mirror. The blonde hair, blue eyes, beautifully tanned skin and freckled face male was not who he was expecting to see in the mirror.

“What the fuck?!” He whispered, the eyes of the reflection showing the same amount of surprise he felt.

“WILL!! ITS ALMOST TIME TO LEAVE” a female voice yelled from the bottom floor, the sounds of multiple people talking surprised him.

“Uh….Is that me?!” He asked once opening the door, surprised to see a green haired female climb up the steps.

“Really? This again?! I get you don’t like to go to school, especially after the bullshit Travis and Conner pulled yesterday, but don’t act like you forgot your own name” the female responded, clearly tired of conversations like this. Nico had started to wonder if this was a dream, maybe he should enjoy being someone else for a little while?

Will had awakened to the sound of an alarm buzzing and quickly fell out of the bed when trying to shut it off, the room being unusually dark and the sound surprising him. Once the sound of buzzing stopped, the male rubbed his eyes and looked around a bit. Why were there blackout curtains? What was with the skulls and empty McDonald’s wrappers? Is that bed covered in pillows? He was completely bewildered by the new setting and slowly stood, the mirror on the nearby closet door revealing it all to him. The dark hair and eyes, the pale skin and black clothes.

“Am I emo?” He asked, not realizing that an older male, who looked similar to him, had opened the door to check on him.

“I’m glad you finally realized this, Nico,” he said, his voice stern but gentle. As if he was a man who could do harm if he wanted to but instead showed compassion. “Anyways, I made you some breakfast for once. I have to go, behave at school okay?” He then closed the door, leaving Will to question if this was reality or not. Probably just a dream? Yeah hopefully. The sound of honking actually made him jump, causing him to pull back the curtains and smile like an idiot at the scene.

“This is the city!” He said excitedly, having a dorky grin on his face as he quickly got dressed and grabbed the phone off the dresser. “So, I need to find my way to school, unless a friend picks me up….I wonder who Nico’s friends are?” He started to speculate that he might be around a group of kids like Nico, it was a bit nervewracking that he might have to discuss things like death but also a bit exciting. Or maybe they were a group of dorks and teased Nico for dressing like this, how should he respond to that? While speculating, he sat at the table and ate the meal his father?? provided him with.

“Hey, Will!” “Sup, Will?” “Will, do you know where the amygdala is?” “Hey, Solace, do you have bandaids?!” “Will, Kayla said you forgot your name. Are you doing okay?” “Solace!" No matter where Nico looked, everyone seemed to know his name and attempted to greet him. He felt surrounded and didn’t know how to escape without answering a few questions. After a while he just glared at anyone who attempted to speak to him, finding it more effective as those attempting to talk to him seemed to back off until a pair of twins appeared.

"Solace? What’s with the look?! I thought we were friends here” the taller of the two said, ruffling his hair “sorry for shredding your exam, we told the teacher and she’ll let you retake it.” The male seemed to be looking for some form of confirmation that Nico understood. He didn’t and continued to glare at the twins, or at least what he suspected to be twins.

“Will, you feelin’ alright?” The shorter one asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah, fine….just leave me be for now.” He muttered, clearly irritated with how the two were talking to him, still. Did they not get that he wanted to be left alone?

“Well, Connor and I are here if you need anything….I guess?” The twins looked at each other before walking off, whispering quietly to one another. Nico didn’t care and walked to the back of his classroom, having found where it was using Will’s phone. He found a chair to sit in and just rested his head on the desk, ignoring the stares from the rest of the class. Who cared anyway? It was just a dream.

Will had become lost, having found Nico’s phone unreliable in terms of school information. Though the kid did have flawless taste in music and he was grateful for that. He hummed along quietly before being startled by a hand on his shoulder, looking behind him to find a taller female. Her chestnut colored hair was in a side braid, her tan skin only making her brown eyes filled with concern standout and a faint sigh escaped her thin lips.

“Nico? First off, you’re heading the wrong way and secondly, are you feeling okay? You were humming a song.” She said, removing her hand and guiding him in the direction of the school. Her brown eyes still filled with worry and curiosity.

“Sorry, didn’t realize someone I knew was around and that I had been going the wrong way.” He said with a grin, causing her brow to furrow intensely. He was wondering why she so concerned, did he not smile or sing? What sad life did Nico have to live where singing was no longer a pleasure? This thought ran through his mind, causing him not to notice he’d been asked a question. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

“You seem happy, did something good happen?"

"No, I just woke up in a good mood. Though it might fade once we get to class.” He hoped his response sounded reasonable as he walked through the brick and mortar building, his eyes on the different doors.

“You’re going to be late if you follow me, your class is through this door. I don’t think you’re just chipper, you’re forgetful too.” She said, walking off and leaving him to move through the crowd desks, the open one in the back most likely would be his. The spot was close enough to read the board but far enough to ignore and sleep.

“Hmm…..i wonder if he sleeps in class,” he wrote in the back of the notebook he pulled out, finding intriguing doodles. He sorta wished this wasn’t a dream, then maybe he would be able to meet Nico in person as he seemed like a very interesting individual.

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lesbirdan · 7 years

Note

I don't remember the name of your characters or the fallout games they are from but every fallout game has companions so tell me bout their relationship with them! And also their name of the char you'll choose so I will remember this time. :>

AAAA THANK U THIS IS THE PERFECT QUESTION

My Sole Survivor is named Crow! Or Buzzard, I started calling them Buzzard for distinction because I joined a discord where someone already had a well-known OC named Crow

The point is, when they came out of Vault 111, they were mostly nonverbal for a long time (due to trauma + freezer burn), so when Preston asked for their name, they pointed at the nearest bird, and it stuck.

I’ll just go down the companions in order of importance!!

speaking of Preston: Preston is the most important person to Crow. They rebuilt the Minutemen together; they met each other at their respective rock bottoms, and helped each other climb out of that pit together. Crow loves Preston’s compassion, hope, and determination; Preston loves Crow’s devotion, passion, and caring. Crow trusts him with their life, and does their best to make sure he can trust them with theirs – and with other things, like how he’s feeling, and work that needs doing around Sanctuary or the Castle.

Preston tried to stay out of the spotlight during the Minutemen’s resurrection, not wanting the pressure or responsibility of all those lives weighing on him again, but he was for all intents and purposes a General, and as a largely informal organization, the Minutemen didn’t put much stock on official titles anyway. His Generalship became official in name after retaking the Castle, both with his mental health in a much better place, and due to concerns about defectors from the old Minutemen trying to reclaim authority.

Generals Crow and Garvey are very married, and they place a lot of faith in each other. While circumstances often demand they be apart, they always look forward to seeing each other again.

that was really sappy wow. also, Piper: Piper is another important friend to Crow, though Crow didn’t quite know what to make of her at first – sensationalist fear-monger, or radical truth-teller? Piper did turn out to be the latter, though, and Crow greatly admires her bravery, resourcefulness, spirit, and comedic sense, while Piper likes Crow’s patience, kindness, loyalty, and dedication to justice. While originally dubious about the Minutemen thing, Crow and Preston’s perseverance and mounting success won her over; a couple of well-timed articles and a few words to Travis gained a lot of support for the fledgling cause.

Piper and Crow are also quite close. Piper helped relay messages and keep an eye on information during the mess with the Institute. She and Crow trust each other a great deal, and have a complicated mutual crush they worked out amicably (Crow didn’t want to risk their relationship with Preston); they still care about each other very deeply, and Piper and Preston are also good friends who trust each other, so things are good.

thats pretty gay. also, Nick: Nick Valentine is the third of Crow’s very important friends. (Preston is a friend, they’re just also married. You should be friends with someone you love.) Nick resonated with Crow’s selfless-bordering-on-self-destructive tendencies; they share a feeling of being out-of-place, though they both have less than pleasant memories of the old world. Nick offered them help with a cause they didn’t really believe they could pull through; he accompanied them on the mission into the Glowing Sea, being safe from the radiation. Crow has faith in Nick as his own person, and a real person, regardless of his nature as flesh-and-blood or not. That means a lot to him.

Hancock: Crow sometimes doesn’t know what to make of Hancock, but in general they like him a lot, though. He’s blunt, honest, and straightforward about his intentions, which they appreciate greatly. He wants people to have safety and freedom, which they value a lot. The Minutemen cooperated closely with Goodneighbor and the Railroad during the Institute fiasco, and Hancock maintains a friendly professional relationship with Generals Crow and Garvey, but you couldn’t pay Crow to move to Goodneighbor.

X6-88: Crow has complicated feelings about X6-88. On the one hand, they appreciate his honesty, dry humor, and exacting efficiency a lot. On the other, it’s hard to like someone who keeps talking about how disgusting your home and your friends are. The Institute is bullshit, though, and Crow is trying to pry at the chinks in X6-88′s convictions; he is a person, and not one they’re willing to leave behind. They worry a lot, though, about pushing things too far, and losing his respect; or pushing too far in the other direction, with the Director’s authority they didn’t ask for, and trampling boundaries.

They develop a stronger relationship after the Institute is destroyed, although X6-88 gets to be closer with Preston than he does with Crow.

Curie is a good friend to Crow, although she remains in her Nurse Handy chassis. Crow refused to go through with a plan that would so badly hurt their friend and comrade Glory, which Glory clearly didn’t want to and would regret. Nonetheless, Crow encourages and engages with Curie’s scientific pursuits. Curie accompanies them into the Glowing Sea, alongside Nick.

Deacon is Preston and Crow’s comrade in the Railroad, and that’s about it. Neither of them appreciates his snideness about the Minutemen. Crow is strongly offput by his lying and sarcastic nature, while Deacon thinks they’re too straightforward and not cunning enough. Sure, it’s mostly harmless, but they don’t know what to make of him, and they can’t trust anything he tells them, which is stressful.

Dogmeat is a good good good good boy, yes he is.

Crow doesn’t recruit Danse or Maccready – they refuse to join the Brotherhood of Steel, and they have no reason to hire a mercenary nor desire to interact with anyone affiliated, however distantly, with the Gunners. They also don’t interact much with Cait or Strong.

(That’s about it, for companion relationships.)

Bonus though bc I love them and they’re important:

Sturges: A trusted friend. Finding out he’s a synth did not sway Crow’s opinion on him: he’s worked to protect and rebuild Sanctuary, and he’s part of their family. It does explain how he’s so God Damn Tall. Sturges is sturdy, a stable, amiable temperament, and he serves as a ground for Preston and Crow, who are both prone to anxiety spikes and freezing up.

Marcy Long: Crow isn’t sure Marcy would count them as a friend, but they care about her a lot. They want her to be okay, but don’t know how to approach her prickliness, so they try to avoid her bad moods and encourage her good ones. They were scavenging partners in the early days at Sanctuary. Marcy is good with animals, as is Crow, and they bonded over that, as well as a shared hatred of raiders and those who are needlessly cruel.

Jun Long: Crow really, really cares about Jun. He’s a good, kind, soft-tempered man, and he and Marcy love each other a lot. Crow and Jun share a kind of loss they both feel deeply, and they help each other get through it, pushing each other to escape the kind of suffocating grief it’s easy to fall into. They work on Sanctuary’s gardens together. That helps.

Mama Murphy: Grandma. Crow trusts Mama Murphy implicitly, and cares about her deeply. She was one of the first to accept Crow into the group of Quincy survivors, not just as a tacked-on pair of hands but as a family member. Crow values her wisdom, knowledge, and storytelling immensely, and tries their best to make sure she can live comfortably – she deserves it.

Crow has a very big gay crush on Glory. Also Dr. Amari, also kinda Desdemona, also Magnolia, also … Crow is just a Big Ol Gay

#IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG this is just #most of what i think about #and in the terms that i think about it #like 'crow helps rebuild sanctuary' is just ... Something but #it exists in context of 'crow devotes themself wholeheartedly to the quincy survivors'#'and that dedication and their willingness to work wins over the survivors' trust'#long post #fallout tag #preston garvey tag #quincy survivors #piper tag #nick valentine tag #sole survivor crow #instishoot

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winterolympicssports2018-blog · 6 years

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Jays fall short as J.D. Martinez powers Red Sox to series win

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Jays fall short as J.D. Martinez powers Red Sox to series win

For once the Blue Jays bats got to Red Sox ace Chris Sale.

Unfortunately for Toronto, the Jays couldn’t keep Boston’s offence in check in a 5-4 loss at Rogers Centre on Thursday night.

J.D. Martinez hit a three-run homer in the fifth inning, as the Boston Red Sox edged the Toronto Blue Jays 5-4 to win the rubber match of their three-game series. 2:00

Sale (2-1), who allowed three runs on four hits while striking out four and walking two, had pitched 23 scoreless innings in Toronto entering the start.

“He’s tough, he’s one of the best pitchers in the game and we scored some runs,” said Blue Jays starter Marco Estrada. “The hitters did what they’re supposed to do, they did their job and I basically let them down that fifth inning.

“It’s unfortunate. Could’ve been a much better night for us. Should’ve won today.”

J.D. Martinez hit a three-run homer in the fifth as the Red Sox took two of three from the Blue Jays. Andrew Benintendi delivered an RBI double and Rafael Devers drove in a run on a sacrifice fly for the Red Sox (19-5).

Estrada (2-2) went five innings, allowing five earned runs on eight hits while striking out five and walking one. The right-hander got Mitch Moreland swinging with a 90 m.p.h. fastball to lead off the second inning to reach 1,000 career strikeouts.

Blue Jays starting pitcher Marco Estrada salutes the crowd after recording his 1,000th career strike out on Thursday. (Nathan Denette/Canadian Press)

“I thought his stuff was good,” said Blue Jays manager John Gibbons. “He was kind of in and out. I thought he pitched some guys really tough.

“Then one of their stars got us. That’s what they do. I think he left it up and hit that line drive to right field, but those are the kinds of things we’ll do too.”

Justin Smoak and Devon Travis went yard for the Blue Jays (14-10), while Kevin Pillar’s sac fly scored a run. Toronto has now dropped four of five.

Travis tripled and later scored in the seventh on a Kendrys Morales ground out, but that’s as close as the Blue Jays would get to retaking the lead.

“I’m happy I didn’t have to round third and go home because I would’ve needed someone to carry me,” joked Travis who has had knee issues in the past. “It was nice. Long run, feels good. I made it.”

Devon Travis reacts after hitting a triple during the seventh inning. (Nathan Denette/Canadian Press )

Aaron Loup, Seunghwan Oh and Danny Barnes combined to keep the Red Sox hitless over four innings of relief.

Toronto got to Sale early as Pillar’s sac fly scored Teoscar Hernandez from third, giving Toronto 1-0 lead after one. Travis doubled the Jays lead in the second, taking Sale’s 1-1 fastball into the second deck for his first home run of the season.

After Benintendi snapped a 0-for-16 slump with an RBI double to get the Red Sox on the board in the third, Smoak took Sale’s 0-2 pitch deep for his third home run of the season to give Toronto a 3-1 lead.

“It was definitely a dogfight from the get-go,” said Sale, who improves to 5-1 in seven starts at the Rogers Centre. “Giving up a run in the first three innings is tough.”

Boston starting pitcher Chris Sale gave up three runs over six innings against the Jays. (Nathan Denette/Canadian Press)

Craig Kimbrel pitched a scoreless ninth for his seventh save of the season.

Red Sox shortstop Brock Holt left the game in the third inning with left hamstring tightness after pulling up rounding first base. Holt was replaced by Tzu-Wei Lin.

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paulnewmanlover · 7 years

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okAY im crackin my knuckles and now my gay little hands are ready for new taz ep ramblies about how much i loved it and how bad im dying right now

i honest to god dont even know where to start with this

no wait i do know where to start with this lets start with the handsome skele man

can i just say i am SO PLEASANTLY SURPRISED about kravitz!! i was honest to god sure that griffin wasn’t really going to include him anymore, so the fact that it looks like he’s going to play a pretty significant role is??? amazing???? if that cutscene wasn’t a big ole setup for a rescue mission i don’t know what is!! they are so going to find him either on purpose or by griffin’s design and he’s gonna play a role and that is /amazing/ to me. plus i have this image in my mind of krav sitting alone in the dark building with the storm thrashing outside and just being trapped and scared and so totally out of his league and not knowing what to do bc the raven queen isnt answering and he’s totally on his own. it makes me so sad but also i know they’re gonna get him so i’m real happy. i’m also so happy?? about justin?? he literally has never made any unprompted reference to kravitz before so i was really sure he just forgets about his existence most of the time (ergo, so does taako). and. the fact that when griffin said the telepathic voice made taako’s heart SWELL and he responds first with “is it kravitz?” like MY DUDE I CANNOT HANDLE THIS. I AM DYING. i like taakitz a lot and i appreciate its potential as a ship but i’ve never been hardcore invested in it, even though i want it to happen i’d be totally fine if it does or doesn’t set sail either way. but damn if that didn’t give me heart palpitations. (sidebar: so crazy stoked to find out who lup is now tho, since she’s apparently barry’s lover(?) and is emotionally connected to at least taako. im gonna scream if the lup --> chalupa theory is correct tho griffin plz)

yah but you know what dumb ship i am totally invested in though??? which leads me to my second “im dying” moment of the show???? ONE-SIDED MAGNUS/AVI AND I WAS SCREAMING WHEN AVI ASKED ‘where’s magnus?’ JUST PICTURING HIS TOTALLY SHOCKED AND BROKEN EXPRESSION UGH. even without the shipper goggles that moment was really rough. i didn’t even think about the fact that pretending magnus was dead meant everyone would react to his death until it started happening and just... oof.... carey too god damnit losing her best friend is just ..... a sock to the gut. on the plus side: if maggie makes it out of this alive they’ll get to see him alive and well hooray!! happy reunion!!! also griffin called carey and killian girlfriends so its finally confirmed they are squarely in a relationship and not just dating hooray!! the silver lining to this misery cloud i guess??

and finally my third “i’m dying” moment i bet you can all guess “THOSE ARE THE ARMS THAT HELD MY WIFE” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JUST FUCK ME UP OKAY GOD DAMNIT TRAVIS!!!! right in my god damn honey nut feelios. that whole conversation was just, so fucking good. i loved this episode so much from a character development perspective because we’ve so rarely had this much prolonged conversation between the THB about really serious stuff. magnus finally confessing what he knows and what he’s done to the other boys? merle and taako trying to talk to magnus about retaking the cloned body? taako claiming that he trusts NOBODY and NOTHING but then leaves the flaming raging poisoning sword of doom for magnus to take (second sidebar: i honest to god love garfield as this crazy wildcard character whose motives and role we never fully understand, and i hope griffin never explains why the fuck he was cloning magnus at all, it’s just this forever mystery. just leave garfield as this incredibly unexplainable enigma like the fantasy costco itself)? just incredibly rich character moments this episode and the boys killed it with their roleplaying by keeping it funny but really emotionally charged too.

there were a lot of other great parts to this episode, i feel like i could dissect almost every moment and find an absolute jewel that i loved inside it. but these were the big ones for me, and i am just so so so excited for the next episode, even tho it will probably kill me. RIP

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diegest · 4 years

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A decade recap

This is gonna be long.

I started this before the new year but ended up getting too busy to work on it and add to it and forgot about it. 😅 It’s unfinished and there are details missing, clearly. But it’s still nice to be able to look back at what I remember and how I’ve overcome specific events in my life. ❤️

2010 - age 15

I live in Cali MO. I’m a volunteer vet assistant. I help take care of the animals and help with procedures here and there. I’m pining over my childhood best friend of 9 years. However, the cute guy with a goatee in my Desktop Publishing class who makes me laugh is also getting my attention... I’m going into my last year of track and field, as my knees can’t take it anymore and I no longer enjoy it. I’m small, tan, love to run, but I’m extremely socially awkward and shy. I’m going through a lot of family issues. I see my brother for the last time in years. I spiral into depression. My body doesn’t cope well with the stress. I wish to die but fail. I almost start the decade out not with a bang, but with a bottle of pills.

2011 - age 16

I’m not very eager to get my drivers license. The freedom sounds great but I’m not ready for the responsibilities. I’m scared, actually. I pass my test on the third try because this time I’m finally able to take MY car for my test. I drive a black Pontiac Grand Prix GTP, supercharged with stripped decals. I’m hit on for my car a lot. I’m very much an art student. I got that guy in Desktop Publishing’s number and I took him to a concert for our first date, where we became boyfriend and girlfriend. First date lol. I work at McDonalds for my first real job but only briefly, as I couldn’t handle the social pressures and many people there are fucking mean. I go work at a store in town instead and like it a lot more. Sophomore year isn’t too bad. I was scouted for a dual school program because of my passion for graphic design and art and am accepted into next years program. I’m an honors student.

2012 - age 17

Junior year. I’m attending two schools. I go to JC High in the mornings and Cali High in the afternoons. I’m admired for my drawing ability using Wacom tablets. I’ve been with Travis for a year now. It’s cool dating a senior to me. I’m still driving my Grand Prix. I work at a gardening center during summer and a store during the other seasons. My friend group is disbanded, but it’s okay. I attend my first year of prom. Mom got us a limo which was super unnecessary looking back at it but we had a great time. I have to go to court against my father. I have to tell them that during my time there, I had to be a stand-in parent for my brother and he would often forget to feed us or I would have to leave my homework to do on Sunday nights when I was finally back at my moms which makes my grades suffer. Making me swear on the Bible was kind of a weird thing to do. My mom and I win the court case but I’m absolutely heartbroken and crushed that I had to stand at a podium and tear my dad apart. But at the time I was so angry and bitter.

2013 - age 18

Senior year. I’ve been with Trav for two years. He’s in college which is hard on me. Hard on us. He surprises me at homecoming by texting me to turn around and bam, he’s behind me after not seeing him in probably 2 months. I drive Matthew to school with me as he’s starting his freshmen year. I’m class president of my Graphic Communications course study and I’m sure that graphic design is what I want to go into. However, I hate being told what to do and the lack of creative freedom. My Grand Prix’s transmission gives out on my way home from school one day and I bawl my eyes out. My mom gets me a Kia Forte because I wil have to commute to college so it’s best to have a reliable car. Unrelated but still important, I’m involved in the record number of cars involved in a pileup in my city (6 cars) and am the only one not charged from the ordeal. Kinda nifty and cool but kinda shitty at the time. I graduate high school and see some family members for the first time in years. I’m not thrilled. I spend my graduation wanting to get out of my dress and gown and go hang out with friends and our boyfriends instead. I go to Kansas City to be with Trav when I can.

2014 - age 19

I move to Jeff City with my mom. Trav and I have been together for 3 years. He gets into a terrible car accident which affects him for the remainder of our relationship. People question why I stayed with him because of his inability to do a lot of things we were able to prior and I tell them it’s because I love him. He moves back home to do college online, which makes things a lot easier. I’m not excited for college whatsoever, but attend anyway since my first two years are essentially free. I’m an art student, mostly working to tweak my finer skills in fine art. I love painting and drawing and especially doing life studies and figure sketches. But I’m losing my passion. I work at a store as a cashier and want to tear customers into pieces when they’re rude. I’m getting anxious about college and am starting to question whether I’m on the right path or not. My cat, Tiger, who I had for 10 years, also goes missing. I never find him despite searching and doing everything I could in my power. That still kinda gets to me. I work as a server and hostess. My days typically are as follow: wake up, go to school, go to work, stay up until 3am taking tests and doing homework. Rince and repeat until losing it mentally. I made the deans list. This continues for months and it’s absolutely mind-numbing.

2015 - age 20

I got my Associates, which I forget exists 95% of the time. I’m about to move to a university finally! And live in a dorm finally! With my best friend! Oh, now she’s not coming. Oh. And now someone else has taken her spot in my dorm. Oh. She speaks very little English. She’s rude. She wakes me up in the middle of the night. She’s gross. I can’t handle this. I have to drop a class for the first time in my life because I’m failing a class for the first time of my life. I move up the hall. I retake the class with the newfound ability to rest in my dorm building and pass with an A. I’m angry and bitter at who I used to consider my ‘friend’ for landing me in this financial predicament. I gravitate toward her brother who becomes my best friend since we’re both stuck in the same city together and go to the same college together. Trav helps me make the most of having my own dorm and helps me move out when the time comes. I work at Dairy Queen. I secretly develop an eating disorder while living in the dorm because what is basically my freshmen 15 sounds terrifying to me and it’s extremely important to me I maintain my weight to break that standard. No one catches on to my knowledge.

2016 - age 21

I celebrate my birthday by going to my favorite chill bar in Jeff City. Trav and I have been together for 5 years. We get our first place. It’s a short walk from campus and I love the balcony. It’s spacious enough for our two desktops and for his cat, Ivy. It’s also big enough to have friends over!! If I had many friends...and if he had any friends...I love having my place with my significant other for a while but it loses its luster when I become the only one being able to pay for the bills and rent. But I’m also going to school full time. And am in an honors fraternity and another honors society. I’m a research assistant. I’m working at Dairy Queen. I’m just one person. Now my brother is in the hospital and I’m told about it after he has been admitted for over a month. His condition is affecting his heart among other things. I’m so far away. I’m basically a state away but I can’t leave because I’m the breadwinner and I have to complete school. This is too much for just one person. My college friends are fantastic though and keep me floating with my head up when I constantly feel like I’m drowning.

2017 - age 22

I can’t handle the pressures of completing my bachelors degree and being the only one in my apartment getting work hours. I can’t handle not knowing how my brother is fairing in the hospital. I can’t handle the extracurriculars along with working, tests, having my own psychology research experiment on top of being a research assistant. I can’t handle my own feelings for others. I’m detached from my boyfriend. I can’t handle the strained relationship and do everything to leave and get away. I end it just before the 6 year mark partially out of guilt for my feelings for someone else, partially because I know I can do better, partially because I know it’s ran it’s course, partially because I feel like I don’t know my type or myself, partially because I know I need a partner more fiscally reliable, and partially because I’m scared he will propose to me. Because I intend to say ‘no.’ Everyone pushes it but I know I would say ‘no.’ I work at Dairy Queen for a few months after I graduate to figure out my next move. When my boss makes a comment that Psychology majors don’t amount to anything, I go home and apply to a psychiatric hospital nearby and get an interview within three days. I work my new job and work at Dairy Queen until December, as she’s not giving me any hours anyway to spite me and quit DQ in favor of the hospital. Two jobs doesn’t feel that bad when one is slashed so hardcore to spite you. I’m promoted from Expressive Therapy Assistant to full on Expressive Therapist within months. I feel loved. I feel needed. I feel nervous. But I feel like I’m making a difference. I also begin to fill the gap of my long relationship with several short term relationships. Oops. It was unintentional.

2018 - age 23

I’m working at the hospital and I’m thriving. I’m loving it. I feel like a badass. I feel important. I drive a lot. I have to stay overnight when it snows. I’m maintaining my apartment by myself as Travis moved out. It’s expensive and scary. I invest most of my energy into my work and when I’m not working, I’m doing everything I can to leave town to be with my boyfriend - my childhood best friend I almost dated in high school whom I’ve known for 17 years by this point. Whoops that didn’t last. I date a coworker. Whops that didn’t last either. I dated my ex’s friend. That actually lasted longer than I thought it would. I move into a much cheaper apartment - a two bedroom duplex. I traded in my balcony for a yard and an awning to park my car under.

2019 - age 24

I fucked up and lose the job I love, but it’s okay. They even tell me I was damn good at what I did and they’re only forced to fire me because of policy. I have a job the very next day much closer to home. I hate what I do for months because it’s mind-numbingly boring compared to my old job. I’m promoted. I have authority. I have a say in whether clients can stay with us or not. I have a say if someone needs to get fired (though I haven’t had to exercise that yet). Things are shaking up. The company isn’t doing well because of grants. But we’re keeping our head up for our clients. The grant-funded program I’ve been writing for months gets approved. Also I have a dog! He’s awful, I love him. I meet some of the best people I’ve ever met in my life and consider them to be some of my greatest friends I’ve ever had. But I’m still not brave enough to tell them I was fired from my last job. And I don’t intend to for as long as I can keep it a secret. I date a few good guys but none of them stick but maintain friendships with them if they want to. My grandpa passes away which affects me more than I can admit truthfully. This does help me rekindle my relationship with my dad though which I’m grateful for. I still don’t know what I want to do as a profession. I still don’t know what I want to go back to school for. I want to move to a bigger city and live with friends but I’m using this time to train my dog, make money, and just try to live. I get very comfortable with my own body and delve into photography, only this time being a model rather than the person behind the camera! It’s fun. Can’t do shit in winter though lol.

2020 - age 25

I started the year surrounded by friends I sincerely hope I still have years from now. I was given a promotion and a raise of a few thousand dollars. I’ve met someone who can stay up late with me laughing about funny memes and videos and will sing to music with me while driving down the highway. People come to me for mediation at work and clients say thanks for my presence. I still very much want to move away, but it would currently be foolish of me to leave while the grant-funded children’s program I’ve slaved over writing on and off for months is finally getting off the ground and going around by word of mouth. Plus, my savings is able to increase again. Plus plus, being a boss is fun and being in charge of so many people feels rewarding when things are done right by your word. I’m happy and things are going well ❤️ who knows what else will come with this year?

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