#i hate matty healy series

[ughgoaway]

i hate matty healy- chapter 5

content warnings: 18+ (mdni), smut, blowjobs, swearing, drinking, questionable decisions and probably other things I'm forgetting <3 word count - 4600-ish

a/n: hi again!! sorry this is kinda long it got away from me, if it's too long and you prefer shorter chapters pls let me know! anyway, this chapter was fun to write but rereading it I lowkey hate it but if I try to go through and edit it again I will kill someone so I'm leaving it be <3 I'm currently obsessed with matty + the red guitar and that's all my brain can think of!! thats all byeee

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Old pictures and posters cover the ceiling staring back at you. An old blur poster, next to an oasis one because you could never choose. Pictures of your sixth form prom, you arm in arm with George after you got cancelled on by your original date and he stepped up to take you. And of course, the very first poster of the 1975 to be printed. Technically it was the first poster of Drive like I do but one day Matty came over announcing they had changed the band name. Again. And crossed out drive like I do and scribbled “the 1975” over the top.

If you didn't know better you'd think that poster was the only one up there, it seemed to grow each time you stared up. Every time you lay down on your childhood bed you are met with a picture of him. The dickhead you're trying to convince yourself you really do think is a dickhead. But here you are again. At 3 am staring up at his face. The moonlight filtering through your window was highlighting the poster almost mockingly. God even the moon was working against you.

You growl in frustration and go onto your phone in an effort to distract your racing mind only to be met with another photo of Matty and the boys. Fucking Matty. It felt like he was stalking you. Which would be impressive considering you and him hadn't spoken in 2 weeks, not since that night on the tour bus.

As you expected the guys hugged and made up the next morning, consoling each other like 15-year-old girls. But the same couldn't be said for you and Matty. You hadn't spoken at the last show, in the airport or even on the plane home despite being sat together. It was a very frosty 14 hours. But if he was going to be stubborn, you would be stubborn right back. You hadn't let him win before and you certainly wouldn't now.

Only a few miles away Matty was in a very similar situation to you, staring at the ceiling willing his brain to stop swirling. As you were all on a brief break from tour Matty thought it would be best to come home to Wilmslow, just to make sure he wouldn't see you in London. Because if he did he's not sure how much longer he could keep up the stubborn act, and he was nothing if not competitive.

He really did feel bad about that night on the bus but he needed you to crack first, he couldn't lose again. Little did Matty know that you had thought the same thing, you were desperately craving the comfort home gave you and the distance from him. In trying to be apart the two of you had only pushed yourself closer.

Fresh air. That would sort you right out, normally you couldn't take a walk at 3 am but that was in London. Wilmslow was nothing like London, the most dramatic thing to happen in months is Ken and Linda's divorce so you didn't feel like you were at much risk for being brutally murdered. Unbeknownst to you, across town Matty was having the exact same thought. Well, almost the same thought, he can't say Ken or Linda crossed his mind.

Cold air filled your lungs and your mind flashed back to the night at the club. The weird eye contact, the awkward cigarette and the strange silent agreement all shot to the front of your mind. Shaking your head you try and tell yourself to just stop thinking. With no place in mind you just began moving, the thought of standing still for 5 more seconds seemed impossible to you. Before you knew it your feet were taking you in the direction of the skate park, a place you frequented a lot when you were younger.

Desperately tagging along with your older brother to start with but as you got older it was your brother and his mates, who soon became your mates. Well some of them did. The one glaring exception to that was also on his way to the very same skate park, old skateboard in hand.

Matty had slithered out of his mum's house as quietly as he could, trying not to wake her or Louis up, knowing he would never hear the end of it. Before he left he grabbed his board from the cupboard under the stairs, he briefly thanked whatever God there may be that his mum hadn't binned it on any of her cleaning rampages.

With each step you felt your mind freeing, being home always put you at peace; apart from your mum sometimes but you would never tell her that. Eventually, you see the skate park start to come into view, you'd tried to stop at the corner shop to get some alcohol before remembering that you weren't in London, and the corner shop closed about 7 hours ago.

The smell of freshly cut grass filled your senses the further into the park you went, it comforted you as you trudged your way across the large football field that separates the main park from the skatepark. After many complaints from parents about “hooligan teenagers” the skate park was moved slightly further away from the play equipment.

For a second, you could've sworn you saw a shadow on one of the ramps, but you wrote it off as an animal or something. No one else would be out at this time. You are pretty sure the whole town of Wilsmlow was asleep from 9 pm to 7 am every day. 

You reached the top of the smallest ramp and sat down swinging your legs over the ledge and for 5 whole minutes, you hadn't thought of Matty once until you heard an unmistakable voice ring out from below you. 

“You’re kidding me right now.” You froze, briefly thinking it was your imagination but nope, you looked down the ramp and met with the eyes of the very man you were desperately trying to avoid thinking about. 

You had no witty reply, no quick retort because at that moment you couldn't think of anything worse than seeing him. Especially when he looked like that. His normally perfectly manicured curls were fizzy and unkempt. He was wearing an old pair of tartan pyjama trousers, a ripped oversized harley davidson t-shirt and a fluffy cardigan that if you were to guess, was his mum's. Dark circles surrounded his eyes which looked slightly sunken, and in his left hand was the same board you coveted from all those years ago.

Maybe it wasn't the rockstar performer Matty that most people knew, but this was your favourite Matty. The Matty only a few people saw, the slight sleep-deprived domestic Matty always had a soft spot in your heart. Not that he knew that, you're not even sure you knew that until you saw him in that moment.

Silently he jumped up next to you and sat down, both of you chose to ignore the way your shoulders brushed and the way spark it created. After a few beats you got the courage to speak up, “is that the skateboard you taught me to skate on?” you asked, remembering the long few weeks of learning to skate. It was a summer of many bruised knees and drunk nights in the park; to this day it was one of your fondest memories of home.

Matty jumped slightly at your voice, not expecting you to be the first to talk, “Yeah, mum never threw it out I guess. Do you remember how shit you were?” He giggled out the last sentence, his shoulders shaking your own. You eventually started to laugh with him, if you were honest with yourself you really were shit. Ross had taken to skating so quickly you thought it would be the same for you but it wasn't.

“Yeah, I do. Remember that I was such a shit student that all the boys fobbed me off to you? They knew you wouldn't go easy on me like they did.” This caused a loud laugh to bubble out from both of you which soon turned into sleep-deprived cackling that had you holding your stomachs and gasping for breath.

Eventually, you got your breath back and lay down staring up at the sky, Matty soon followed suit and the silence resumed. But this silence was slightly more relaxed, still not pleasant but it was better. 

“Hey, you want to go back to mine? I have a bottle of wine stashed under my bed from my 19th that I'm desperate to drink right now.” Matty whispered, despite no one being around it still felt like it was right to whisper. He expected a hard and fast no from you but instead, you were quiet. A little too quiet, Matty turned his head to look at you and was shocked to find you already facing him. 

He stared into your eyes and admired the way your eyelashes fluttered against your cheek. You did the same to him, loving the way the moon reflected in his deep brown irises.

Just as quietly as he asked you responded with a simple, “Yes, let's go.” Soon enough you were walking side by side down the streets of the small town you both grew up in. This time, the silence was comfortable. Unusual, but comfortable. 

The keys rattled in the door of Matty's door as he opened it, slowly he poked his head around and thankfully no one was awake. He ushered you in and you followed him slowly up his stairs, a sense of familiarity washed over you as you looked around. His house hadn't changed from when you were young. The same Beatles artwork lined the hallway and the stairs were still covered in a deep purple carpet that Denise always insisted she would replace “next year.”

Matty's room was also the same you thought as you walked in, you hadn't spent much time in here but over the years you'd picked up Ross from band practice or sat with the boys getting high. It was still very similar to your own, every surface was covered in posters. Various bands littered the walls along with posters of his favourite movies, pulp fiction and true romance took pride of place above his bed.

Of course, it was still matty so there was also a rather large “Legalise it” poster above the keyboard in the corner. His bed was decorated with black sheets covered in small white stars. The headboard had fairy lights wrapped around it, you had made fun of Matty when he first put them up but he insisted they were “fucking vibey.” And to be fair to him, when you were stoned they really were.

You sat down on the bed and Matty got on his knees to begin looking for the wine stashed under the bed. Already slightly drunk just on the presence of Matty you joked, “Now there's a sight I like, Matty Healy on his knees” An unimpressed look fell over Matty's face as you began to giggle at your own immature joke.

“Such dirty jokes darling! And in my childhood room nonetheless” Matty jokingly retorted after coming back up victoriously, a bottle of wine in hand. The springs squeaked when he sat down next to you, he unscrewed the wine and took a quick sip before handing it over to you.

The maroon liquid slid down your throat and immediately calmed your racing thoughts, you knew it couldn't work that quickly but in that moment you didn't care for logic. “As if this room hasn't seen a lot worse over the years Healy, I've heard the horror stories!” you smirked as you handed Matty back the bottle. Passing it back and forth between you, both taking short sips and enjoying the pretty cheap wine.

“Horror stories! Sweetheart I’m wounded” Matty joked holding a hand to his heart and acting as if you had stabbed him. His childlike actions solicited a small laugh out of you, soon a hush fell over you both as you looked into each other's eyes and wordlessly kept swigging the wine.

Matty's eyes flicked down to your lips so briefly that if you blinked you would've missed it. But you didn't miss it. And he didn't want you to. Your breath shifted as he started to move ever so slightly closer, as if he was testing the water.

You didn't have the patience to test the water and crashed your lips into his, pulling his face into yours. He quickly reciprocated and pulled you into his lap gripping your ass as you ground down into him, only the thin fabric of both your pyjamas kept you separated. 

You felt matty hardening beneath you and a plan formed in your head, with a smirk you broke the kiss. Matty desperately chased your lips but you pushed him away and began slithering down his body, before long you were on your knees in front of him. “You know I never did apologise for the other night” you drawled out, sliding your hand up his clothed thighs, rising up slightly on your knees.

“Oh- yeah- I meant to apologise for that-” Matty began to ramble, with the way you were looking up at him- how could he not? He was starting to stutter when you interrupted him with a hand on his chest.

“Matty im the one apologising remember? What did you say again? Oh yeah, ‘next time you come crawling back to me you'll have to beg on your knees.’ well here I am, on my knees.” You began to press small slow kisses up his neck, licking and sucking when you reached the edge of his jaw. 

Matty swiftly realised you wanted this, and you wanted him. He slipped right back into the new version of him you had begun to love. “Well baby, I did say beg and I haven't heard that yet” he tried to keep his voice steady as you hit a particularly sensitive spot behind his ear.

Sitting back on your knees slightly you make eye contact with Matty and breathe out, “Please let me suck you off Matty. Please. I promise it will make you feel so much better.” you punctuated the end of your sentence with a particularly dirty kiss that pushed Matty right to the edge. 

“Shit- yeah go ahead baby” Matty sighed out and soon enough you were making your way back down his neck and torso.

You pressed your face into the warm skin of Matty’s stomach, pushing hot kisses down his body until you reach his waistband. You let a shaky breath out as you pull down his trousers and free Matty's achingly hard cock. He let out a strained moan as he looked down at you, seeing you on your knees looking up at him with doe eyes and fluttering your eyelashes is going to be the death of him; he was sure of it. 

“I've been thinking about doing this for a long time” You muttered, letting your lips and tongue delicately brush against Matty's tip. He growled in response and griped your hair harshly, desperately trying to avoid just fucking your mouth.

“C'mon sweetheart stop teasing or I’ll- shit-” Matty's complaint was cut short by you taking him in your mouth all the way down and swallowing around him. His fingernails scratched your scalp as he grabbed and pulled your hair.

Your nose brushed the dark curly hairs and the base of his dick as you held it in your mouth, focusing on the deep buzz of desire making its way through you. Matty jerked his hips forward at the feeling causing you to gag but at that moment you didn't notice, the only thought in your head being making him feel good. Your hand press his thighs against the bed, revelling in the noises coming from Matty, each new grunt and groan fuelled your ego.

You began moving up and down on his cock, taking what you didn't have in your mouth in your hand and jerking it. Slowly you gain confidence and start moving quicker, twisting your hand at the base and going up and down his shaft. Tracing the large vein on the underside with your tongue each time you move up and down. You came fully off and began making out with his tip, giving the underside kitten licks and groaning at the taste.

The low groan that resonated out of you caused Matty to jerk forward once again, you took it as an invitation and dropped your hands from his thighs and looked up at him. You keen into his hand hoping he would understand your silent plea. Your blood-red nails trailed down Matty’s legs leaving scratches in their wake. Matty thrusts again in your throat, loving the feeling of you marking him; the pleasure mixing with the pain.

Tears are streaming out of your eyes and spit bubbles at the corners of your mouth but you couldn't care less at this moment because Matty was looking at you with such hunger it causes wetness to pool in your underwear. Looking up at him you begin to beg with your eyes, desperate to have him claim you.

Matty delicately swipes the mascara-coloured tears from your cheeks and asks the question he's been so desperate to since you dropped to your knees “You want me to fuck your mouth huh baby? fuck you up a little?” you nod as fervently as you can with his cock resting in your mouth, causing Matty to spit out a string of curses.

“Yes fuck- I always thought of doing this to you in here shit-” Matty sighs out as he begins experimentally thrusting into your throat. You were too lost in the haze to hear his comment and began to gag slightly as his cock hits the back of your throat. A low moan from you encouraged Matty to go faster and soon enough he was fucking your throat wildly, ignoring any gags from you only being spurred on by the moans leaving your filled throat. 

Each time Matty's hard cock hits the back of your throat you have to hold back a whimper. His cock fit perfectly in your mouth and you loved feeling him. Matty had received many blowjobs in his 29 years of life but he would swear on anything that it has never felt this fucking good. Each time you tightened your throat around him caused his mind to reel and made his grip on your hair even more viscous as he puppeted your head up and down his shaft.

You swallow around Matty as he stares at your mouth stretched out around his cock, marvelling at your closed eyes; you were obviously enjoying this just as much as he was.

You couldn't get enough of the feeling of his heavy dick in your mouth. You flicked your eyes open to stare at the man in front of you, taking delight in the way sweat drips from his brow as he works himself in and out of your mouth.

“Such a good girl for me yeah? Knew you'd be back on your knees just not like this fuck.” Matt's head lulled back and he closes his eyes a low groan coming from deep within his chest. “I’m gonna cum sweetheart shit- look at me yeah? Look in my eyes when I cum down your throat.” As soon as your eyes meet, Matty is cumming hot and thick down your throat.

After a few seconds Matty pulls out and tucks his dick back into his boxers, as he looks back at you he sees you swaying slightly on your knees obviously fucked out, cum dribbling out of the corners of your mouth. Matty grips your chin and pulls your face up to meet his, “open your mouth.” 

As you do he's met with a sight that made him weak, your tongue was heavy with his cum. A primal growl comes from Matty as he leans down and spits in your mouth, snapping your mouth shut with his hand on your jaw. 

“Swallow,” he demands. A squeak of shock leaves your mouth only to be followed quickly by a moan as you swallow down the mixture of cum and spit. You try to grind down on something absentmindedly, desperately trying to alleviate some of the pressure building in your stomach. 

Matty notices your feeble attempt at feeling some relief and pulls you up onto the bed, holding your neck possessively as he says, “Oh baby did you get all worked up by me fucking your mouth?” You groan and give Matty a nod, desperate for him to help with the wetness between your thighs.

“I would help darling but this was an apology remember? You needed to say sorry to me, and you have. But you won't be getting anything in return. You should be thankful I let you suck me off.” he paused briefly a filthy smirk coming across his face. “So say thank you, baby”

Your voice was raw and scratchy from Matty's rough treatment as you breathed out a meek, “Thank you Matty” he smiled appreciatively at your obedience and cruelly patted your cheek. 

“Let's go to sleep now baby, come lay down with me,” Matty said as he lay down on his bed, patting the empty space next to him. You joined Matty and the two of you begin to lazily make out until the post-orgasm haze got the better of you both and you fell asleep on Matty's chest, rising and falling with each of his breaths.

Sunlight streamed through the curtains and illuminated the small space you were asleep in, dots and streaks moved through the room as the trees swayed and allowed sunlight to peak through and dance on the ceiling. Matty stared at your sleeping figure and thought about how peaceful you looked. He's only ever seen you so at peace once in his life before, the day he finally saw your apartment for the first time.

Unlike the other guys, Matty had never been inside your apartment let alone slept over but the others were always there.As far as Matty knew your apartment could be a secret drug den but all he's ever seen is the 3-meter-squared entryway. Until the day he finally got a peek when he picked Ross up on the way to the studio.

Ross had forgotten something inside so ran to grab it and accidentally left the door open, Matty immediately stuck his head in and began looking around; he ignored the fact that he was so eager to see how you lived.

Plants were everywhere, even trailing down the walls, which was strange to him; he never thought of you as a plant person. Large colourful sofas filled the living room as well as bookcases overflowing with old novels and nicknacks. They were dark oak, Matty assumed they were another charity shop find and admired the small rose engraving that trailed up the side of them.

Framed photos of you and the boys were on almost every surface, the sight warmed his heart a small bit. Despite spending 24/7 with them you still wanted them around in some way or another. Soon enough Matty realised that quiet music was filtering through the apartment and he felt himself being drawn toward it.

He began to follow the music that he now recognised as Otis Redding’s love man record; one of his favourites. The sight he was met with made his mouth go dry. You were standing in your pyjamas, softly swaying standing at the oven cooking pancakes. A small smile graced your lips as you mouthed the words, your hair wet from a shower. Matty couldn't help but feel his heart flutter at seeing you in such a domestic setting.

The large windows that were all over your apartment left you standing in a sunbeam, if Matty didn't know better he would think it was a spotlight. The light was filtering around you perfectly, bouncing off your pink silk pyjamas.

Matty didn't like how he felt at that moment. He felt a sense of yearning. To see this again, as much as he could. To be standing with you singing Otis Redding. Obviously, he knew as soon as you saw him this illusion would be shattered, and it was, but he almost began to enjoy the discomfort of standing there, knowing it was caused by you. 

Before long you spotted him, called him a perv for staring and pushed him right back to the entryway but Matty has never forgotten how you looked that morning. How restful it all felt. It reminded him of now as he watched you breathe, your hair sprawled over his pillowcase with a small smile on your lips. God, even when asleep you were beautiful. 

Wait. No. Not beautiful, just tranquil. Silent. Before he could spiral much longer you woke up from your sleep and smiled at him, observing how the sun behind him illuminated his frazzled curls and almost looked like a halo around him.

“Hi,” you said simply, not quite awake but aware someone needed to say something otherwise you're sure you'd be sitting in silence for the next hour. “Hi,” he said back the exact same way, with an airy quality surrounding the word.

The pressure was building between the two of you to have a real conversation about this, whatever it was. Because at this point it had to be something. But you weren't ready for that conversation and neither was he, all you both wanted to do was live in this moment. With the sun heating the room you were in, the light hit all the right places around you. So you did what any sane person would do at that moment, proposition him.

“Wanna have sex?” you bluntly said, raising your eyebrows suggestively. A Cheshire cat-like smile broke out on Matty's face as he leaned in and began kissing you. This kiss began slow, his lips moved slowly and carefully over yours, he moved his hand from the bed up to your cheek and pulled you in harder.

The kiss began to heat up as you grabbed Matty's bottom lip between your lip and pulled on it. In response Matty growled and pulled away, he laid down and grabbed your hips, pulling you onto him just like last night. 

You pulled away and sat up to admire the man under you, he had taken his shirt off at some point in the night leaving his chest bare, his pale skin was stark against the black sheets. You traced each one of his tattoos with your pointer finger admiring how his muscles tensed with your featherlight touch. His lips were red and puffy from the rough kisses, his cheeks were pink and he was flushed all over, giving his whole body a small glow.

Matty whined impatiently and pulled at the hem of your shirt prompting you to take it off. You quickly followed his request and stripped off the baggy shirt revealing your bare chest, your nipples pebbled at the cold air. Matty groaned appreciatively and sat up to begin assaulting your chest with kisses and leaving small hickeys in his wake, delicately scraping his teeth against your breasts. He marvelled at the breathy moans you let out as he continued his movement.

The door of the small room creaked open but both you and Matty were too preoccupied to notice, soon a voice broke the silence.

You screamed and pulled the blanket up to cover your bare chest. All three of you stood there and stared, chests heaving in shock and eyes wide. How the hell were you going to explain this? Fuck.

[oh-bonerline]

His room smelled stale, unlived in, and it looked exactly how it had when Matty left it. The same clothes piled up on the bed. The same book laid face down on his bedside table. The same overflowing ashtray on the window sill. He’d half expected George to have relished the opportunity to organize and clean everything while he was away. But it looked as though George had simply closed the door and walked away, as if Matty had died and needed to be memorialized.  He opened up the window, letting in frigid but fresh air. He pushed the clothes off the bed and onto the floor. He stretched himself out on the bed, lying flat on his back, feeling as if he were in a sort of limbo. The room fit him oddly, like an old suit, somehow both too small and too big. He didn’t feel like himself but he didn’t feel like someone else. He felt like no one. 

we'll knock around and see - chapter nine on AO3

[lonesome-sometimes]

wheels on the bus

I promise I don’t have a thing for matty being a married man this was just a very real experience for me minus most of it

suddenly a man climbs on and interrupts, giving a series of apologies to both the driver and the people he kept waiting. you would be annoyed if he wasn’t so hot, tight black jumper and unruly curls sitting on his head like a halo. suddenly, the woman from before is waving him down towards the back of the bus and your heart sinks.

that’s her fucking husband?

matty healy x female reader

content warnings: face fucking, sub matty, teasing, semi-public sex, cheating, age gap

minors do not interact!

If you knew that you would be stuck on a bus for as long as you were, you wouldn’t have even bothered travelling but the world seemed to hate you that day and was throwing every possible obstacle towards you.

luckily for you, the seat next to you had managed to stay empty for most of the trip which was always a blessing. you were pulling into the second stop of the journey when you quickly realised that was about to come to an end, the queue far too long with too little seats left.

you force yourself to seem as unapproachable as possible when you feel someone tap your shoulder, turning to see a dark haired woman smiling at you almost condescendingly. you pull one side of your headphones to the side so it sits behind your ear, still looking at her dumbfounded. you weren’t in the mood, your day had been long enough.

“Is it okay if my husband sits here? he’s coming now, he just is putting our bags away but I’m going to sit in front of this seat and I want to be able to sit near him. my husband won’t be a bother-“ every word went in one ear and out of the other, the word husband suddenly becoming the worst word in the entire dictionary and the shiny diamond on her finger painfully obvious. how charming.

you nod, turning your body and sliding your headphones back on for the simple pleasure of drowning out most of the noise of the other passengers, your music staying paused. the driver stands up, a tall man who seemed far too young and cool looking to be stuck driving some bus on a saturday. “I know this situation isn’t really ideal for anybody, but I promise to speed and get you all where you need to be. please just shout at me if you need anything, my name is george and-“ suddenly a man climbs on and interrupts, giving a series of apologies to both the driver and the people he kept waiting. you would be annoyed, feeling deserving of an apology to if he wasn’t so hot, tight black jumper and unruly curls sitting on his head like a halo. you turn your attention to the woman from before, waving him down towards the back of the bus and your heart sinks.

that’s her fucking husband?

his face lights up at the sight of her, making his way down towards where the empty seat is and sliding down next to you. he shoots you a quick, kind smile before turning his full attention to his wife to your dismay, leaning over the top of her seat and stroking her hair. the whole situation was just sad really, he was far too good for her but you can see why she was so obsessed with using the word husband beforehand.

you were in for the hardest two hours of your life.

you couldn’t even focus on your music, abandoning it all together and hour into the drive in favour of hearing his hushed voice instead. he was currently resting his chin on the top of her seat, eyes crinkling as he smiled at something she said. he pushed a hand through his hair, the sleeves of his jumper pushing up slightly to reveal some tattoos on his wrists causing your eyes to widen, becoming curious as to how many tattoos he had and where.

another hour of torture goes by, the man next to you seeming to be so sickly in love that it started to make you somewhat mad. he was fully leaning around her seat now, his face close to hers as they talked quietly. you decided to just try and ignore them alltogether, reopening spotify when you hear him speak.

“radiohead? great choice! I didn’t know they were still popular with the kids these days.” you turn to see him smiling at you, not even realising he had moved and being absolutely dumbfounded that he’s suddenly speaking to you. he laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck causing you to notice the crinkles by his eyes for the first time. “god, that makes me sound so old doesn’t it? sorry I wasn’t meaning to bother you-“

“no!” you suddenly exclaim, realising how crazy you sounded. you regain your composure, side eyeing his wife who was not in her seat. he must notice your curiosity because he speaks up again. “we’re stopping for a bathroom break, the kids on board must have been pissing the driver off, do you want me to move?” he attempts to stand but you grab his wrist, pulling him back down.

“I’m good, thank you for letting me know.” you try and sound as sweet as possible, smiling softly while rubbing the soft material of his jumper between your fingertips. “you’re not bothering me at all, you’re actually the first person I’ve spoke to all day.”

he looks down at your hand on his jumper and you swear you see a blush spread across his face, a stray curl falling forward as he does. you start feeling a little lightheaded, almost letting your thoughts get the better of you. you drop his jumper, moving to push the curl back away from his face but he moves too suddenly, shaking his head to organise his thoughts.

you turn to see his wife climbing back on the bus, that condescending smile from before returning as she sees you both. they start chatting again, forcing you to return back to your petty mood and making a show of it, crossing your arms and letting your music flow through your ears. you through two minutes of karma police before you physically cannot take it anymore, pulling your headphones off and turning to the couple next to you.

“I’m so sorry if I’m overstepping, but you guys are just so cute together. how long have you been married?” you smile too wide to be genuine, voice sickly sweet as your attention focuses solely on the man. his wife leans around her seat and looks at you like you had offended her, but takes the opportunity to obsess over the word husband once more.

“well my husband and I have actually been married for about three years, is that right matty? I think so.” she smiles at him, playing with his fingers awaiting his answer. you don’t really care what she has to say, the name matty bouncing around your brain and how it would sound coming off of your tongue. he continues to look at you, completely taken back by your boldness before clearing his throat.

“yeah we erm, we have been married a while now. we actually just got back from our two year anniversary vacation, you should know that darling.” he speaks to her, almost seeming sad that she had forgotten. she just laughs, announcing that milestones mean nothing so long as she has him. you could almost feel your eyes rolling back into your head and not in the way you were imagining.

he smiles awkwardly at you. they went back to talking between themselves, your brain racing with ideas and images. you think for a little while, coming up with a truly awful plan. you had found something you wanted and with the day you were having you deserved some excitement.

you wait a few minutes, waiting for the right moment before beginning. “I’m sorry, I just need to grab my charger in my bag. I’ll just-“ you stand up, causing matty and his wife to stop talking and look up at you as you begin to climb over his legs. you silently thank the driver for suddenly going over a bump in the road, causing you to trip and fall directly into his lap.

his hands fly up out of instinct, grabbing your waist and holding you there for a moment. you can feel the bulge in his pants pressing up against you, moving so your hips grind down on him as you stand up again. “god, matty! I am so sorry! I lost my balance, I’ll just grab my charger and I’ll stop being a bother, again I’m so sorry to interrupt.” you lie through your teeth, reaching up to grab your charger out of your bag in the overhead compartment while making sure your tshirt rides up directly in front of his face, exposing your lower stomach and a strip of your lace underwear that was hidden beneath your pants. you pretend to look for your charger for a good few minutes, giving him a show as you did.

you eventually find what you were looking for, making eye contact with him as you climb back over into your seat. you bite your lip as you look down at his crotch, the bulge more prominent than before. you feel powerful, causing a married man to fold at practically nothing.

you get comfortable again, scrolling through instagram when he suddenly speaks for the first time in the last twenty minutes. “god, when did it get so fucking hot in here?” he laughs sheepishly again, pulling his jumper over his head and shoving it in his lap to cover up his problem.

granting you your wish, you could finally see the wrist tattoos from before as well as the many others. his arms were toned, covered in artwork that looked so beautiful and hot at the same time. his curls had become messy through his hands constantly playing with it and the jumper being pulled over.

the bus keeps driving for another ten minutes, the longest ten minutes of both yours and his life, before pulling in at another service station. george stands up, announcing that the bus would be here for thirty minutes and that if you weren’t back in time he would drive off and leave you, causing the kids at the front who must be driving him mad to giggle and pull faces.

matty suddenly stands up, announcing to his wife that he was running to the bathroom and to grab them both a snack, urging her to stay there. perfect.

you let him get a five minute head start before standing up, not even acknowledging the woman as you make your way off the bus and towards the bathrooms where you see matty push the door open. you rush after him, causing the the door to fly open. you both stand in the middle of the service station bathroom, the tension thick and heavy in the air.

he swallows, rubbing his arm and avoiding your eyes as he speaks up first. “can…can I help you?” he asks, his voice coming out strained and broken which only causes you to giggle. you move further into the room, crowding him up against the tiled wall.

“I’m not sure matty, can I help you at all?” you smirk, lips so close to his own as you speak you could feel the shaky breaths on your face. he swallows again, eyes avoiding yours as he shakes his head.

“I’m married, I shouldn’t be…” he trails off as you push your body up against his, cocking your head to the side as you lick your lips and grab the shape of his cock through his pants. he lets out a breath, relaxing against the wall as you start stroking him through the fabric softly. interesting.

“I’m sorry, you were saying?” you ask innocently, knowing what you were doing by now, the effect you were having on him. he closes his eyes, letting his head hit the tile with a thud before he looks down at you through his lashes. up close, he’s so much prettier than you had realised. you wanted to ruin him and have him ruin you at the same time.

“please.” he breathes out, taking you by surprise as he pushes his hips up until your hand and parts his lips. “please just touch me.” he begs, and how could you say no to that?

you move your head and steal his lips in a soft kiss, his lips parting instantly and letting you control the situation. this isn’t what you were picturing when he first stepped onto the bus, but after the mood you had been in you can’t say you’re unsatisfied with the turn of events. you move to unzip his trousers, shoving them down his legs and pulling his cock out of his underwear.

fucking hell. you weren’t expecting that.

he breaths are heavy, eyes wide as he waits patiently for you to do something. you think for a moment, deciding what you want to do with the little time you had. you started mouthing at his jaw being careful not to leave any marks to save him some face, his neck and down his torso until you’re forced to get on your knees so that you’re face to face with his leaking cock.

he leans his head back against the wall again, his hands finding refuge in your hair as he lets out a choked moan at the sight of you on your knees for him. If only you had more time, you’d spend hours torturing him, his sweet breathy moans quickly becoming your favourite sound.

that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have a little fun right now.

“I thought you were married, hm? your poor little wife, sitting on that bus completely unaware that her husband of two years is letting a young, innocent girl get him off. don’t you feel bad?” you tease, lips ghosting the tip of his cock as you speak. he quickly shakes his head, hands moving from your hair to form fists at his sides.

“she…she doesn’t do this for me. we haven’t even…just please?” he begs, his revelation music to your ears. “you don’t know how long it’s been since I…she won’t have sex with me, something to do with-“ he moans as you wrap your lips around his cock, letting the weight of it sit on your tongue as you savour the taste.

you slap his thigh lightly, a silent order for him to keep speaking as you start to suck his cock slowly. “oh fuck, something to do with staying pure…an act of celibacy or some bullshit but I really do love her, I promise.” he continues, emphasising the really with a thrust of his hips, causing his cock to hit the back of your throat, fluttering around him as he whines.

you pull off his length with a pop, lipgloss smeared around the tip of it as you work him with your hand. “that’s such a shame, you’re far too pretty for that. you sound so sweet. If only you were mine, I’d do so much to you.” you lick away precum that had gathered at his tip again, kissing it softly and pulling back again. “hm, how about I let you fuck my throat, since you’ve been such a good boy for me? you deserve to use me, no need to be shy.” you wink, moving your arms behind your back and letting your lips fall open and ready.

he stares at you, completely taken back by what you just offered. he lets himself think for a moment, about the morality of the situation, before shaking his head and grabbing his cock again and shoving it past your lips. clearly deciding that there was no time for questioning his moral compass as he moans loudly, feeling more free as he begins to fuck your throat. he picks up his pace, holding your hair as he whispers sweet nothings like you’re so good for me and so much better than she could ever be, even going as far as to wipe away the tears that had formed around your eyes and saying please don’t cry, you’re too pretty baby, I’m sorry

his hips begin to stutter, a sign that he’s almost there. “please, please let me cum down your throat, I need to cum please let me-” he begs through broken sobs, waiting for a nod of your head before he’s spilling down your throat, his groans echoing around the empty bathroom.

you pull off his cock, his body slumped against the wall as you show him your white covered tongue, swallowing his cum only causing him to moan again. he was such a boy, and you couldn’t really blame him considering what he had just told you. you decide to be nice, tucking him back into his underwear and pulling his pants back up his legs, going as far as to button them back up for him and placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“I genuinely don’t think I can move away from this wall.” he admits, blush creeping up his cheeks again as he brings his thumb up to wipe the smeared lipgloss from your face. “thank you for that, and I erm…fuck, I’m sorry? I feel bad that I didn’t-” he says, gesturing towards you.

you shake your head and smile, giggling softly. “don’t worry about me, it seems like you have enough to deal with.”

“you could say that.” he laughs back, checking the time on his watch and letting out a sigh of relief to see that you still had five minutes before you really needed to be back, knowing his kind, thoughtful wife would hold the bus up if needs be. “we still have five minutes, if you really want me to do anything?”

you shake your head again, pulling his hand up into yours and playing with his fingers the same way his wife had done on the bus not long ago, sliding his wedding ring off and on. “I think I’d rather learn more about you? If that’s okay?”

he smiles down at you again and nods, eyes crinkling as he says “well I never actually got to talk to you about radiohead…”

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part One

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Warnings: This is gonna deal with a lot of controversial shit surrounding Matty and his past I'm ngl, so if you're not into that then I'd suggest not reading this! But if you are, then hi!! I hope you enjoy?

Authors Note: I'm back...:)) Back with a series too, or it will be if this first part goes down well! Lmao so pls don't hate it! Butttt in all honestly, I do have to quickly thank @procrastinatinglikeapro for all the kind words she gave me on the snippets I annoyed her with recently and for forcing me to actually believe in this fic because I very much was on the fence about posting again. So thank youuuu, it means a whole lot<3 Also, the skeleton of this was taken from a very old fic of mine which I started during the height of covid that I've just been thinking about trying to better for a long while now, so... enjoy?

And I guess let me know if this is something anyone would want to read more of? Yeeeeah, I really don't know what else to write here now, it's been a while, so! Hi, help, bye:)

Masterlist

Chapter 1: He's got the whole world falling at his feet

“Yeah, yeah! I’m really into their sound at the minute! Honestly fell in love with their recent performance at the VMA’s– didn’t overdo it and kept it true to themselves. Definitely did a great job there, so well done with that one if you’re listening in, lads!”

I was grinning from ear to ear as I spoke into the microphone before me, which was to be expected whenever I was at work. Strange, yeah I know, but only to any typical person with the usual nine to five, because I truly did love my job. It was tough work, strenuous at times, contrary to what most might believe, but it was pretty much everything I’d ever dreamt of.

See, I’d grown up on the outskirts of this tiny village in the Isles, where everybody knew everything about everybody. Secrets were never well kept– you could just ask our local priest about that one, who often used to regale most of the confessions he’d heard in the only pub around for miles whenever he’d been pissed beyond being able to sit on his barstool. 

It was also incredibly tight-knit, as in, all the kids who went to school together, then grew up and married one another, settling down and taking over the jobs that their parents or grandparents would soon retire from. Hardly anyone moved away, if ever.

In reality though, it was actually just a place I’d always felt like a stranger in. Where I’d struggled to fit in and make friends, to form bonds outside of the one I shared with my mum. 

Which sounds sad speaking about it, but still true, I’d had a real tough go of it back in school. ‘Mouse’ was what they’d seemingly dubbed me back then, a nickname which had travelled throughout the masses all too quickly seeing as there had only been about sixteen kids in both my year and the one above. 

The name had mostly started due to me just having been an extremely timid child, hiding behind my mum’s flowing skirts whenever we went into town and much preferring that of my own company whenever other kids were mulling about. But that fact hadn’t gotten any easier for me once I’d been forced out of school for a few years after an accident that had flipped my entire life on its head. Resulting in me being further isolated from the rest of the world and my fuck-face of a father running for the hills.

Still. Shit happened, I supposed, and I’d been forced to deal with it and grow up.

Too quickly, in truth.

So whilst everyone else had been out living, I’d been holed up in our little dove cottage miles away from them all, with only books and music to keep me company. Music which had been a true constant in my life and just about the only thing that had gotten me by.

As well as my mum, who’d forever be my rock. And back when we’d both been growing up– because that was how it’d always felt with us– she had constantly had the tele on full blast throughout the day, cycling through the freeview channels that played the recent top 50 and old school classics.

It was one of my favourite things to look back on now. Sometimes if she was ever in the mood, or when the power would finally flicker and go out completely when a storm hit, she’d spin this old phonograph her own father had gifted her in the days before she’d left home. The two of us would dance around the living room whilst she would clean on Saturday mornings and then hum to it as we settled in for a long downpour, her working on her trusty crossword whilst I would read or draw. The brass  pavilion would croon out old French records she had bought long before she’d moved to the UK, and before she’d ever even met my father.

And I would just lose myself in it all. 

It wasn’t just the basic premise of music that I had enjoyed though, it was everything else that also came along with it. The opinions, the reviews, the personal stories and thoughts, the way it could make a person think and feel. 

So, for years I would just sit down at the kitchen table and write for hours on end about the sound, the rhythms I’d felt and heard, the lyrics that had had me bellowing out or playing on a never-ending loop in my head. And then, as a teen, Twitter had come along and had been just another way for me to express it all.

It was actually Twitter that had eventually led to all of this. 

The radio.

At first, I’d never paid much mind to all of the people who had started to discover the small page I’d created, the few users that had enjoyed reading my inner thoughts. But then one day I had and it had been an insane concept to comprehend, the very idea that people cared enough to stop and read my thoughts, but it was also what had, ultimately, pushed me into continuing with it.

From there, opinions on genres of music and their style throughout different decades quickly turned into thoughts on up and coming artists, then actors and other A-list celebrities. So I had ended up spending an awful lot of time online, simply just tweeting about it all, on subjects followers had wanted to hear about and answering questions on whether I loved a certain album or this new EP. 

The account had grown rapidly shortly after and by the time I’d had the balls to tell my mum I had wanted to leave home and make a start for myself, in London of all places, the account I used had gained well over fifteen thousand followers.

I went to uni down there and met people. People who didn’t shy away from me or shine a light on my odd quirks. I met my best mate there, too. And Finn was unlike any other. The platonic love of my life, or so I’d since dubbed. He was eccentric, witty, and didn’t care about what anyone else thought of him. Forced me to feel that way too, slowly but surely. And it had only taken a few weeks before he'd grown rather suspicious of my constant need to always have my phone near.

He had, pretty early on, decided that I must’ve had some secret boyfriend back at home that I’d yet to tell him about and had annoyed me about it at every twist and turn, basically backed me into a metaphorical corner. So to say I’d relented fairly quickly wouldn’t be a lie, and I’d told him all about the account soon enough.

Finn had actually been the one to suggest that I take it further, somewhere bigger, make it into something that people could actually tune into and not just read about. I had taken the consideration on board way back then, but had only acted on it when shit had hit the fan a year or so later. But we'll soon get into that.

So with it all, I ended up making an actual radio show out of my thoughtless Twitter account, allowing people to listen in and actually get to know the person behind the name.

That was essentially how ‘Mouse On A Mic' had come to life.

Yup, I’d kept the fucking nickname! I couldn’t not in truth, it was familiar, reminded me of the person I once was, and who I currently am now. But the only difference was, I’d given it a new story. I’d reclaimed it. 

The show's audience grew fairly quickly during that first year, I was new on the scene and seemingly refreshing. I had a no-bullshit kind of attitude that my listeners apparently admired. I called celebs out on their crap and went to new extremes to conjure up inventive ways to get followers involved. 

Ultimately ended up doing things that other radio presenters were too afraid to do at the time. Which was fair enough, in hindsight, they had actual endorsers and brands that were backing them up and funding their streams. Me, on the other hand, I had no-one to answer to for my mistakes or any of the backlash the show received. It was just me, sat alone in my bedroom, speaking into a mic.

Only, a few years had since passed and now it was me sitting in a quaint little studio in East London, not too far from my flat and walking distance from any and every coffee chain that the city had to offer. 

Anyway, I forced myself to adjust my headset over my right ear as I wheeled closer to the table, aware of the one too many monitors and power cables I had to constantly avoid, and glanced upwards, locking eyes with my co-producer, Adi.

The girl shot me a hurried gesture, a circular wave of her hand that had me chuckling to myself even as I silently waved her off, knowing I’d already gotten off track one too many times this recording. 

"Alright! It seems as though we've got to move on with the next segment of the show now! Unfortunately, Ads here has informed me that I can't just sit around all day and talk about Inhaler forever. A right shame that, don’t you think?”

I huffed theatrically whilst Adi merely shook her head in return, dark ringlets brushing the length of her shoulders as she mouthed the word 'prick' through the thick sheet of plexiglass that separated us.

Ignoring that loving endearment in favour of continuing on with the commentary, I hoped I hadn’t steered too far off track seeing as there was still an awful lot scheduled for today's show that I had yet to go over.

“So moving on!” I sighed on into the mic and rubbed my palms together, eyes flitting over the few sheets of paper I had perched before me, “It seems like quite a few of you lot, over on Twitter especially, have made it loudly known that you want to hear my thoughts on Manchester’s very own Matthew Healy. God, is there yet another scandal under his belt I don’t yet know about? Makes me wonder where he’s finding the time.”

I shook my head briefly at the bulleted point I’d been given and rolled forward in my seat. The wheels squeaked beneath my weight and I made a silent prayer that the mics hadn’t picked up the sound. 

What a fucking topic, I thought quietly to myself and sent Adi a semi-amused smile before peering down at the recent headline she had handed over to me earlier that morning.

It was the same old thing. Expected really at this point.

“Healy’s at it again! Whatever will we do?” I gasped, playing up the whole thing as I stared down at a few images of the haughty singer that were plastered across the printout I held in front of me. 

There were four of them, a quick succession of pictures that had all seemingly come from a clip at a recent concert. Bit blurry but the title gave away to what was happening.

A laugh bubbled up out of my throat as soon as I read the headline. “Oh God! It appears Matty Healy is– wait for it!– back at it again, only this time it seems he’s gone and traded off a drumstick for…” I paused to drum quite the anticipating beat against the tabletop of my desk and, as stoic as I possibly could, I then added, “A joint!” 

A smug grin slid its way up onto my lips when I heard Adi’s faint cackle echo from just outside the booth.

“Honestly, I swear that everything this man does makes the rags! Reckon I actually saw an article about how he took his tea this one time. And like, do me a favour, yeah?” I rolled my eyes but relented, “A man of the people though, in’t he? He’s got to be! I mean, just look at this headline. Fucking who the hell writes this shit?”

Tossers, I supposed. But even so.

“It’s madness.” I muttered, gently clucking my tongue as I shook my head at the so-called news that had made the front page. “But anyway, I’m guessing that most people claim him to be the epitome of a real time rockstar, and sure, he might just be. 'Sex, drugs, rock & roll', all that shit. But really, how much longer is it going to last until everything goes tits up, hey?

“I mean, Healy can pretty much do whatever he wants at this point in his career, he’s got half the world either falling at his feet or complaining about him- has done since he was what, a kid? Following his parents amongst the shadows of their fame before he eventually stepped out and made an actual name for himself. Saying that, it still is insane to see how much he’s changed!”

And it was. Healy and his band had risen to fame so evidently, their music everywhere, they sold out shows constantly and had the privilege to fly across the globe doing whatever they pleased. But they’d also practically grown up in the limelight, Matty especially. So it was hard not to notice the resounding changes that shone through in all the news and gossip that ran riot.

“But, if I am being truthful.” I went on to say, thumb toying with the page’s sharp edge, “And when am I not? I thought that most of the shit that went around about him at first was a load of crap– publicity of sorts, if you get where I'm going with that. Or maybe just him being an idiot, a young lad who’s had to grow up with all these cameras consistently on him and had to basically learn what he can and can’t say in front of them. Slipping up from time to time, like most do. But, now? I’m honestly not too sure… It’s just a bit sad. Isn't it? There was so much potential there.”

I shrugged, a hearty sigh falling with my shoulders.

“I actually used to quite like his stuff a couple years ago, he’s got a way with words, with music overall really. Reckon if he’d gotten his shit together that he probably could’ve been ranked higher up on the list of rockstars. Could’ve changed or paved a way for newer musicians entering the scene. But not so much anymore. His songs lack the passion they once had, they’re not what they used to be. He works hard, I’ll give him that. Still, I can’t help but wonder if it’s just his band pulling his dead weight along with them now.”

I took a slow breath, then gazed down at the small amount of sticky notes I had pinned to the monitor beside me: the next segment. I’d have to wrap this one up quickly.

“Maybe that’s a bit harsh.” I said, chewing on my lower lip, “But honestly, I just hope that he takes an actual break sooner rather than later. The band looks spent and he just seems like he could do with some shut eye, some time away from all the cameras and prying eyes. Just so he can sort himself out good and proper, you know? Then again, that’s just my opinion among a sea of many.”

In truth, I really did think that Matty had real talent, that raw kind, and he seemed like a nice enough guy– or at least he had done, a couple of years back, before all the controversy and whatever else. 

Now though, the man just seemed so caught up in it all, in the fame, the tabloids, the drama. Unaware of just how far he’d fallen.

Me, I’d seen it one too many times before, with many of the greats even, and as painful as it was to watch, what more could I say or do? I'm nobody in comparison.

I blew out a short breath.

“Fuck, that got all serious didn’t it?” I tried to laugh it all off and only felt a little more at ease when I finally glanced up and caught Adi’s sincere smile, “Anyway, onto our next segment, reading a couple of your lots tweets! Let's see what everyone's saying about our amazing Adi today, shall we? What was it last week, Ads, those yellow trousers you were wearing?”

--

“Oi, will you two please stop mucking about? We’ve got to get going!” I scolded without any actual heat, shaking my head as I held back a chuckle, forever amused by the infamous pair stood a way away from me. 

I’d not long since left the studio, having walked with Adi to the nearby tube station so that she could hop a train home before I had headed on over to Finn’s. It was a typical route for me and not too long of a walk, but since arriving I’d been roped into packing up the many belongings that had been messily upended from the Spiderman backpack I was so often seen carrying about.

My gaze skittered over to the other side of the room once I’d teethed together the bag’s plastic zipper, over to where my son, Teddy, was currently in the midst of being whirled around by his godfather, tawny coloured curls flying in every-which direction whilst his cheeky grin grew even more prominent.

I felt the corners of my mouth lift upwards as I watched my best mate laugh at whatever it was the toddler had just said to him, tickling the boy’s sides as he did. If I was feeling incredibly sappy, I’d tell Finn then just how thankful I was to have him around, because he truly was incredible. 

From the moment I’d found out that I was pregnant, Finn had been there for me. He loved my son almost as though Teddy was his own, he adored the kid like no other and had placed him on a pedestal high above everyone else since the day he was born. 

Finn was always free to take Teddy whenever I had the show to fret about too, or if I was ever in dire need of another helping hand. He was fiercely protective of the two of us and I knew in the very depths of my heart that there would never be a hair harmed on my son’s head so long as he was around. 

I was pulled from my thoughts just as the toddler in question came bounding over, giggling uncontrollably as Finn chased after him, his arms stretched out wide and crouched down low to mimic the small boy's height. I couldn't help but notice the matching grins they both wore.

“Help!” Teddy squealed as he flung himself into my awaiting arms, allowing me to wrap him up and settle him safely on my hip, using my frame as a shield to block him from Finn’s view.

"You can't hide from me Teds, I’ll always find you!" Finn taunted playfully, laughing merrily whilst he wiggled his fingers at Teddy, who was only just peeking out at him from over my shoulder.

Teddy squirmed in my grasp, giggling and screaming senselessly as he tried to dodge Finn’s oncoming hands that had since managed to softly graze his sides. I could only roll his eyes in fond exasperation, the pair never failing to brighten my day, and couldn't help but feel ever so grateful for whatever being had brought Finn into both mine and Teddy’s lives.

You see, Finn was the closest thing I’d ever had to a brother, let alone a best friend. He’d been the family I’d never known I’d needed, a home away from home. And I knew that I could always count on him for just about anything and he had proved that the day I’d turned up on his doorstep in the pissing rain one Tuesday night, utterly terrified after having just found out that I was expecting. 

“Alright, you lot!” I began, batting away one of Finn’s advancing hands as he made to grab at Teddy's tiny ankle. “We've got to get home in time for your bath and tea, and I think Finn here has to pick up Liv from work.”

I was directing my voice towards the toddler in my arms but also sent a knowing look Finn’s way, one which caused the man’s eyes to widen in immediate realisation. ‘Liv’ was actually the lovely Olivia, Finn’s newest fling– only she had managed to last quite a while longer than the rest, a new record for him really. 

“Shit, yeah.” Finn muttered mostly to himself before he hurried on over to his desk in the far corner. I could only laugh quietly, Teddy joining in too when he noticed, and watched on as Finn hastily started to grab at an array of items, shoving them into his jean pockets. Phone. Wallet. Keys.

When he was finished, and somewhat out of breath, Finn spun back around towards us and shot an accusing brow our way, not too pleased about having been the source of our mirth. Teddy and I couldn't help ourselves then and laughed a little harder at his impervious expression. 

But with that all done and over with, I simply pressed my nose against the side of Teddy's head and smiled contently into his curls whilst Finn merely rolled his eyes at the two of us, chuckling before he made a start for the door. I followed just behind him, Teddy's backpack slung low over my shoulder and a happy little boy nestled in my arms.

***

People lover @/user1 Imagine being a mediocre radio host and thinking you know the ins and outs of the music industry.. #CancelMouse

102 @/user2  Don't mind me, reckon I just found my new favourite radio show:)

Ugh! @/user3 Mouse sounded proper excited today but switched up so quick when that 75 bloke came up://

Soloveme @/user4 Hate to see people supporting toxic behaviour, sit down. 

Milk @/user5 Don’t hate me, I'll forever be a matty girlie!! But @Mouseonamic I kinda agree??

Paris @/user6 Do you think he’s seen it yet? > Too_shy @/user7 Probably, it’s trending rn >> Drummepls @/user8 Hope he’s okay and doesn’t take it as a personal attack.. 

He should’ve known really.

He should’ve fucking known.

Even in his drunken state he should have known not to look at what they were all fucking saying about him. Slumped on the floor of his hotel room, propped up against the bathroom door, too exhausted to think about moving, let alone try.

He’d only heard a small snippet, caught the last of a conversation on it in a cab ride back from the club the band had found themselves in. But he had heard it, and he had listened. 

"He's got the whole world falling at his feet." He fucking wished. "Changed." Too right. "A load of crap- publicity of sorts, if you get where I'm going with that- but now I'm not too sure." Laughable, man. "It's just a bit sad." The story of his fucking life. "Potential." When’s he never not disappointing someone? "Lacks passion." Passion lies in living, mate, and he hasn't felt alive in a very long time. 

"Not what it used to be." Who he used to be.

He lit another cigarette from a crumpled pack he’d pulled from his back pocket and watched on as a curl of smoke unfurled in the air. He only wished he’d gone and brought something upstairs with him, or grabbed one of them little bottles from the minibar before he had decided he’d needed a piss. But if he closed his eyes hard enough he could imagine it all going dark, the world just fading around him, and the cigarette was suddenly enough.

Though, even then he still couldn’t quite muffle the loud, pitying laugh that escaped him as he continued to scroll through the mass of tweets that never faltered on his phone. They were like a freight train, unable to stop.

Matty wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Never had he ever felt so fucking lost. Desperate for everything to just pause for a simple second. To stop and just leave him alone for a bit. To have the world let him wallow in the dark dank pit he's hollowed out for himself.

But what a fucking life, hey?

Carelessly, Matty thumbed across the dimming screen, his intoxicated mind too focused on the task at hand to remember why exactly it was he was even sitting there on the cold bathroom floor. Something to do with Hann, he supposed, or George. Perhaps another heated encounter? Probably.

The sound of his phone's keyboard echoed off the surrounding walls and he breathed out a self-depreciating chuckle when he clicked send on the tweet he’d been attempting to curate, not caring enough for the consequences. Hardly even thinking, in truth. 

He was far too gone to care anymore, already knew firsthand what the repercussions would be tomorrow. But at that moment, he just wanted honesty. To tell the truth, for once. To let them all know that he knew he was a shit excuse for a person.

What more could the world possibly say anyway? 

Everyone around him was the same. He was simply just a puppet on a string. They’d make him sing and dance until the day he finally wrapped those wired strings tightly around his neck, and then all they'd be able to do is sit back and watch the show. And he'd enjoy every unabating second of it.

Matty @/trumanblack 10s ago Radio shows are sick man, gotta love them! And I sort of am sad haha. And I do lie? We all lie, I spose. But just listen to the radio, kids! Open your ears!

He laughed silently after, thoroughly amused with himself, and tossed the phone off somewhere off to the side so that he wouldn’t have to look at it again. 

Bullshit. It was all just fucking bullshit.

[urf1lterr]

lovesick | pedro pascal [2]

"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."

next chapter: [3] previous chapter: [1] series masterlist

summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.

pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader

genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually

word count: 6.7k

status: in progress

author's note: this chapter was for fun- i have the 1975 on repeat so i had to lmao. i kinda wanna do a slow burn because i don't want to make anything happen so fast. and pedro was at the oscars a few hours ago so why not post another chapter for him :) not edited.

You hated working weekends.

Something about waking up extremely early on a day that was supposed to be your day off irks you. Why have a scheduled rest day if you're just going to be scheduled to come in? It made zero sense, especially since you were only given a two hour notice before while sleeping.

No pay, clothes, gifts could ever make you happy after being called in at 5am for a 7am shift-

"Venti iced white chocolate mocha with oat milk, vanilla sweet cold foam, caramel drizzle, and light ice as always," Pedro listed as he handed you the coffee.

"Oh my god, I think I love you," you blurted out, staring at the cup in awe.

"That was fast, I see now why you're single," Pedro replied, giving you the side eye. "And soon diabetic."

Rolling your eyes, you take a sip of the coffee before shaking your head. "Not like that, you moron," you scoffed as he glared at you. "I love coffee too much- and who says I'm single."

"Think of it as your reward for waking up to the call," he joked as you just stared at him annoyed. The one time you turn off your do not disturb and this happens. "Your loneliness says otherwise."

"I am not lonely!" you gasp as he shrugs. "I'll have you know I am dating-"

"If you dare say Matty Healy I will personally push you in a bush-," Pedro declares, stopping you as you try to interject. "-and won't help you back up."

Huffing, you cross your arms as he laughs at the sight of your defeat. He knows you too well considering the fact you only met two months ago.

In fact, these two months were probably the best ones you have had all year. Not only did you experience some awesome moments you're sure you'll never get to witness again, but you got along with a lot of special people.

What made things even better was the fact that you got along with your boss because who knows where you would've ended up if Finn was a total douche- which he wasn't. But he did have his moments where he took your kindness for weakness- like asking you to come in for shift on a Saturday.

One thing that definitely advanced would have to be your relationship with Pedro. Nearly best friends is what you two were typically called on a normal day on set by how close you've become.

The nearly part added because nothing could ever come between his relationship with Bella, or Bellie in his own words. And because Jules always made sure to tell the jokesters that she was not giving up her position just yet.

But when it came to work, Pedro was always there for you. Considering he's been in the industry since before you were even born, which he yelled at you once when you joked, he was the best support.

He would even ask you what you were assigned to do and tell you specifically what was wanted without you even asking- even finding ways to physically assist before being caught and sent back to his actual job.

There were also the constant times where he would spam you with iMessage game requests to 8 ball and ignore you after beating him three times in a row, claiming his phone died despite your messages being sent through.

The only thing that made today better was that he was here because who knows how boring the day would have been if you were spent hanging with the technicians who; in fact, did not appreciate the countless times you dropped a mic.

"Why didn't Jules get called in?" you questioned as he turned up the computer brightness you were using. "That girl never wakes up early but I kid you not, she was playing minecraft on her computer when I was leaving."

"I love minecraft," Pedro sighed.

"I do too, but Jules always sends the creepers to my house," you complain. "They always destroy my garden."

"I could only imagine the devastation in your eyes," he dramatically exhales as you nudge him. "But I think it's because you're more...attentive? Not saying that she isn't, but she sure loves to talk about Jersey Shore in between takes."

"She's been binge-watching all the seasons after work."

The conversation ended once he was caught again by one of the producers and lured out of the office you were in. Initially, he searched around the studio and found you to gift the coffee, but he stayed because he did not want to sit on the makeup chair for another round of a drastic look being applied to his face- especially if you weren't there to pester him.

As for you, once clocked in Finn managed to have you scan after emails as a way to apologize for the call in. Apparently, one of his assistants called out so he decided to use you as their replacement since he couldn't find the time to sit down in a cozy office and do so.

But you were totally not complaining.

That only lasted you about two hours before you were finished and terribly bored.

Throwing the empty cup of coffee in the trash, you decided to walk around in hopes of finding something better to do or else you would've fallen asleep on the desk.

You would've if you weren't scared of the thought of a director finding and; consequently, firing you.

Hearing a loud noise, you quickly averted your eyes where your ears were signaling where the noise came from. Lightly jogging behind a curtain, your eyes widened to a sight of a desk on its side and a man hovering over it.

"Joon?!" you exclaim, running over to find him lowly panting, trying to remain his coolness as you began inspecting him to find any injuries.

"I'm fine," he calmly replied, using his dimpled smile as a way to reassure this but you didn't believe him. That was a loud drop.

"Why in the world are you lifting a desk that surely isn't less than 30 pounds?" you glare as he chuckles at the fake anger you poorly tried displaying.

"One of the technicians asked me to bring it out."

"And did you forget that your back would disagree?"

He shuts his mouth for a second, loss for words at your comeback. "I couldn't say no," he shyly replied. "I didn't want to have to pull out my medical forms explaining why I can't lift a table."

Feeling your face sink, you helped him stand straight as he glanced down at the fallen table. "You should have called for help then- everybody would need help for a gigantic table like this."

He only nodded in response, making you feel bad. You felt like you were lecturing him, technically you were, but you didn't want to find out in the future the reason he stopped attending work was because he pulled his back again.

"I'll drag this out," you declare as he tried slapping you hands away from it.

"It's too heavy for you!" he argued.

"Which is why I said drag," you countered back, ignoring his pleas as you somehow managed to lift the table back to its standing positioning.

Walking around it, you bent your back as you began pushing it around the curtain as Joon followed your position, crouching next to you for the extra support.

If it wasn't for the film crew being around the floor, you were sure you would have passed out right then and there. But you couldn't let them know how weak you were.

"And that's how teamwork makes the dream work," you announce, causing Joon to giggle before giving you a high-five as the two of you stand up from your bent posture.

Joon was another person you got along with incredibly well. For one, you guys were the duo out of all the interns. Every job you had that included another person, he was always there.

There was also the many times the two of you, and Jules of course, would carpool together to get home. It turned out Joon was also friends with some of your college classmates so he was always the only person from work who joined you guys for the random nights of cheesy movies and boring games while eating takeout with your other friends.

Despite hanging out for so long, you felt dense when someone called him Namjoon one time, even turning your head around for this Namjoon, completely oblivious to the fact that Joon was connected to Namjoon.

To be fair, he never went by his full name claiming that his nickname sounded more 'chill,' or whatever that meant.

Other than that, you were sure he was your other best friend. Well, after Jules and maybe Pedro. They were probably on the same level if you had to arrange them- not that friends had to ranked.

"Are you ready for this afternoon?" Joon called out as the two of you walked off the stage back to the curtains.

"For what?"

He sent you a surprised look, scaring you because is there something crazy happening that you had to prepare for? "Do you have your phone?"

Patting your back pocket, you shook your head. "I think I left it in my bag. Why? I'm about to cry if you don't tell me," you impatiently whine.

"What kind of fan you are," he simply responds, causing you to widen you eyes.

Immediately jumping on him, you shake his shoulders repeatedly. "What is the 1975 doing?! You must tell me or I swear to the gods I will bust your kneecaps and make you crawl for help."

He bursts out laughing at your threatening begs, trying to calm down your jumps by grabbing your shoulders to hold you. "You're violent."

"And you'll need surgery if you don't hurry it up."

Tapping your shoulder to calm down, you slowly do so. "3 o'clock is when their tickets go on sale for their upcoming tour, one of the dates being in New York City."

You could have sworn you were about to faint if it weren't for Joon pulling out his phone to show you you still had time to mentally prepare for the combat you were about to enter.

That's what ticketmaster was, a war zone.

"How was I not aware of this?!" you cry out, internally panicking about what you were going to do. You can't miss out on this concert, you just had to see these British people in person in order for your life to be complete.

"They did just post the news half an hour ago," he admitted. "Good for you for not being addicted to your phone."

Scowling at him, he quickly closed his mouth as you went over all the things you needed to do to prepare. "Wait, can we go together? None of my guy friends like them."

If you weren't in your own world mentally planning how you were going to beat all these teenage girls online, you would have noticed Pedro walking up to the two to you. But you didn't because your mind couldn't stop thinking about Matty Healy singing 'She's American' because you were indeed American.

"Why does she look deranged?" Pedro questioned, standing a few feet away from you. "Oh no, did Matty Healy die?"

Glaring at him, you ignore his irrelevant comment and face back to Joon. "You and me, my place straight after work. Got it?"

He nods, already in game mode because he knows how bad the two of you need to witness this concert.

Pedro exchanged a crazed look between the two of you, assuming his own ideas as to what you meant. "You're having a party and didn't invite me?" he tried joking to understand the conversation a bit more.

"No time for fooling around, Pedro," you state, grabbing Joon by his arm and making your way back to the office to search for your phone. "We have important business to settle, see you around!"

He watched the way Joon and you walk away hurriedly and wonders if you have a thing for the boy. It would make sense right? Joon was around the same age and he saw you guys work together all the time.

Shaking his head, he walks back to the stage trying to not overthink whatever was flowing in his head. But he couldn't help but question why he was never invited to your place? He instantly rejected that idea, he was twice your age. There's no way that was realistically appropriate.

However, you were friends- so wasn't it hypothetically okay?

No, there was no way he was really debating this. It's completely understandable why he didn't need to be invited over and Joon could.

But how many times did Joon come over?

Stop. His thoughts were confusing him and he needed a distraction. He wasn't going to let another man make him envy of where his friendship stood with you because there is no way he's jealous Joon might take his close friend status.

Because that's who you were to him, a close friend.

After another hour of working with Joon secretly about the tickets while emailing more people who Finn ordered, you two were finally cut for the day.

And luckily you still had two hours before the tickets went on sale.

"I need to grab my coat I left backstage, meet me outside?" Joon asked and you nodded, waving him off as you put on your own coat and bag.

Sprinting out of the office, you didn't expect to fall on the floor by the the person who ran into you. Well, the person fell to the floor while you comfortably landed on top of them, their arms wrapping around you.

"If you missed me that much you should've just texted me sooner to drop by," you heard the culprit chuckle, immediately making you shake their secured hands off your waist to stand.

"That was definitely not the case," you laugh, sticking a hand out to help him get up.

He raises a brow while staring at your hand before taking it, instantly pulling you back down with him. Falling over again, you slowly slip into his arms before finding your balance and giving up on helping him.

"How adorable of you to think you can lift me up," he grins, pulling his own weight up.

"I would love to stay and chat," you start, before looking past him and back again. "But I have something very important to do."

Trying to move around him, he stops you by grabbing your shoulder. "That's why I came to be a generous person and offer you a ride- so you can be home faster and do whatever you needed to do with Josh."

"His name's Joon."

"That's what I said," he ignores you're doubtful glance. "I can take you guys to your apartment."

Thinking it over, it would make it easier and faster to get home and prepare for the sale. If you would've taken a cab and subway it would have been an hour, with him it'll be half that.

"Fine," you spit out and watch as his face lights up. "But I am not owing you anything, you offered."

"Love how two months ago you would've begged the world for me," he placed a hand over his heart. "Oh how comfortable you've gotten with me."

"I don't want to hear it," you shun him, walking past him as he makes a silly face behind your back. "I can feel that!" He immediately stops, surprised you sensed it.

Maybe the two of you gotten a long too well.

"He's gonna drive us to my place, it'll be faster," you quickly explain to Joon who just nods, happily smiling at Pedro who sends him a fast greeting.

Right as you walk through the parking garage and see the familiar black car, Pedro unlocks it before quickly pushing you into the passenger seat, ignoring your protests and slamming the door before you could slip out.

"Not cool," you utter once he buckles inside the driver's seat.

"Don't make me cry," he fake cries before pulling the car out and hitting the road back to your place.

Due to it being the weekend and everybody wanting to be social and outside for some reason, the streets were packed.

It didn't help that Pedro thought starting a deep conversation with Joon about why electric cars annoyed him, knowing damn well Joon loved the environment, was a good idea.

And Pedro's defense being because he loved the smell of gas made you want to slap him.

As if the heavens felt your annoyance, your wish was granted. You were finally in the front of your apartment complex with Pedro pulling up along the red curb. You would've fought him, but you were desperate to get inside as you barely had an hour left.

"Thanks, see you Monday!" you exclaim, jumping out of the car and slamming the door shut. "Let's go, Joon!"

Barely stepping a foot out, you heard Pedro begin talking. "Wait, what are you guys gonna do?"

"Very intense work," Joon stated before turning to you. "But we got this in the bag."

Pedro squints his eyes, curiously scanning your body language because he does not know what this very intense work meant.

Working out? Making out? What the hell was it?

"Of course we do, love has no limits," you declare, making Pedro cough as you grabbed Joon's arm. "Now, let's go!"

"What are you two going to eat?!" Pedro called out, making you heavily sigh and turn back around.

Faking a smile, you gritted your teeth. "Don't know. Maybe we'll cook or make Jules' grab food as we work."

He makes a face, not convinced he wants to let you guys leave. Now that he was here and his day was over with, he didn't want to be alone.

But he also didn't want to tell you he wanted to stay. He wanted you to invite him- but you weren't getting the hint. Or maybe you were, but you couldn't have him in the room while working with Joon.

"That's cool, did you know I make a killer chicken alfredo?" he speaks out, making you pull an interested face as you were very much not. "Especially with garlic bread."

"Make sure to make that once you get home, safe travels," you wave, trying to turn away but was once again stopped by his voice.

You could feel your kindness slowly leaving your body. Was this the day you would be arrested and charged for murder?

"You know what's the secret with making the pasta?" Pedro questions as Joon replies back a curious, "What?"

"The sauce!" he exclaims as you try to control yourself. He was definitely pushing your buttons but you had to stay calm- you had to.

Joon was too interested in the conversation Pedro was beginning, trying to ask what was in this mysterious sauce. You knew you had to interject or you would both be ticketless.

"Maybe you can tell us about this secretive sauce on Monday, when we next see you," you force a laugh, trying to slowly take a few steps back to inch towards the entrance doors. "We really have to g-"

"Why wait till Monday when I can tell you now?" he claps, getting reading to explain his recipe. "For starters, you need a thick, sauce that can sp-"

"Oh my god!" you squeal, causing both men to jump and stare at you in shock as you rambled on. "The parking structure is around the block, my number is 912- just park and come up! Let's go, Joon!"

With that, Joon and you ran inside and Pedro smiled to himself. His planned worked. He guessed the only way to get to you was by speaking nonsense until you gave in- he'll remember that in the future.

Rushing through your door, you took your coat off as Joon pulled his laptop out if his backpack and set it next to your desk.

You looked at it confusingly before asking, "you carry your laptop with you to work?"

"Duh, an intern should always be prepared for computer work," he replies as if it was the obvious rule we should all know.

Shrugging, you turned on your PC and immediately went to ticketmaster, finding that the tickets weren't going on sale until 35 minutes from now. "We still have time to breathe." That was until you heard light knocks on your door. "Spoke too soon."

Walking up to your door, you see that no one was out there.

That was until Pedro decided to jump out from the side and scare the living shit out of you.

"I'm not doing this," you glare, trying to slam the door on his face, but he forced his way in while laughing at the scream you exhaled before.

You stared at him with no expression as he fell to the floor, continuing to laugh as if your fear was the funniest thing in the world. Joon was even silently giggling in the corner, stopping when you made eye-contact with him.

Trying to find a bowl to fill with water so you could throw at him, your plans were interrupted when you heard your roommate's voice boom across the room.

"Who the fuck is making so much noise?! Some of us are trying to sleep- ah! Why is Mr. Boss here?" Jules' gasps, jumping behind the hallway wall and peeking only her head out, too embarrassed to show off her hello kitty pajamas.

"He's gonna make us some pasta with his secret sauce," Joon happily states as she just gives him a confused look.

"Plus, it's almost 3 in the afternoon...," Pedro adds, giving her a baffled look as to why she is barely waking up.

She just gives him an awkward glance before running back to her room, shutting the door. Saturday's were her day off, of course waking up after 5pm was normal.

"The time limit just turned green! Refresh to join the waiting room-" Joon began screeching, doing so on his computer as you jumped around Pedro to do the same on your PC.

Slowly walking up to where Joon was, Pedro began examining the situation you two were in. Reading over your computer screen, his face fell. "The 1975 2022 World Tour...were you guys seriously trying to buy concert tickets this whole time?!"

Joon and you exchanged innocent glances to one another, not sure if he was judging you for your dedication.

"No, we still are trying to buy tickets," you simply reply, pushing him away from your computer.

His negativity was bad luck.

"This is why you were rushing to get home? All for-"

"Be gone, pessimist. Your energy is not it," you frown, moving your game chair to block his view from your screen. "Joon, block your computer, we can't afford his cynical attitude to ruin our chances of making out with Matty Healy."

"Making out with Matty Healy? You still want that? How is he gonna notice you?" Pedro asks, trying hard not to laugh in your face.

You were quiet for a minute. It was just a crazy thing you said because of all the videos you had seen online whenever it was somebody's birthday or they were just a lucky fan in the front.

You weren't actually dedicated to kissing him, but you did wish.

Joon slowly raised his finger, pointing at Pedro. "You're famous, right? Maybe if you went he'll notice us?"

Eyes widening, Pedro quickly shook his head as you placed your hand over your mouth. He was right, maybe he wouldn't kiss you, but he would for sure meet you if he found out a famous actor with over a million followers on Instagram attended his show.

"Not a chance," Pedro declared, ignoring your puppy dog gaze as you just hoped doing it for long would make him so uncomfortable he would give in.

Nudging Joon, he followed your actions with the sad stare, the two of you in front of the poor actor, leaving him really no choice. You were even thinking about calling Jules out to help, but she probably wouldn't appreciate it by her state of looking homeless.

But if it were on a work day she would totally be in.

"You just look like a deformed bull terrier," he says, pulling a disgusted face. "It's kind of unattractive."

"What is that?" you urge, watching Joon hold a laugh.

"The target dog," Joon answers for you.

Shrieking, you smack Pedro in the arm. "My god, woman! You always hit me."

"You're coming with us to the concert," you announce, watching him roll his eyes. Before he could reject your demand, you beat him to it, "if you don't I'm never talking to you again."

"Please, I've been wishing for that for weeks now," he cheers. "Plus, I'm pretty sure I am busy the day they come."

Pulling yourself close to the computer, you check to see the day they were arriving. "So you're saying you aren't free November 7th?"

"Kid, that's basically a year from now. I can't guarantee anything."

"Damn, you're right," you frown, your mood going down. Joon's idea was pretty amazing, but just wrong timing since the concert was so far away. "You can leave now."

"And what about that famous chicken alfredo?" Pedro chuckled, finding your change in demeanor amusing. You must really love these indie boys.

You were about to reply when Joon intervened. "Oh my god! We are in the queue!"

Twisting your head, you could see the clock had hit 3 o'clock exactly. How did time go by that fast?

"Holy shit! Everybody disconnect from the house wifi on your phones! We can not have anything disturbing us!"

Pulling out your phone, you did what you ranted on and made sure Joon did the same. You even ran to Jules' door and banged on it until she confirmed she did so.

Running back to the computer, you could see there was still 983 people in front of you while Joon had 754. "Why is your computer going faster?"

"This laptop-," he sheepishly smiled. "-cost a fortune, but works like a charm."

Turning back to the screen, you saw the purple line move closer. Not even three minutes in and you only had 534 people left while Joon had 312.

You don't know what you did, but God was certainly rewarding you.

"You're honestly really weird," Pedro confessed, staring at your computer screen. "And sad."

"You would be if you were about to buy tickets to see the love of your life."

"I wouldn't pay anything, money can't buy love," Pedro insists, pulling a chair from your table and placing it in between Joon and you.

"That's very romantic," you swipe an imaginary tear from your cheek. "Save it for the cameras."

His jaw drops as you return back to your computer. In a few moments you were about to be inside the room and you were beyond scared. If you did not get these tickets you don't know how much longer you'll have to live.

"I'm in!" Joon shouts, causing you to jump to his screen.

Great, the two of you were going together anyway so it works out.

"Fuck, what's the presale code?!"

Placing your hands on your head as he begins to panic, you die inside. What the fuck were you going to do now? "Go on Twitter and check!"

To say Pedro was not intrigued would be a lie. It was very fascinating seeing how strongly engaged you were just for a damn ticket. To be honest, he thinks you would be great on a reality tv show- your expressions were just off the roof. He wonders if other people genuinely acted like you.

"It's probably something super simple, try 'thesound,'" you exclaim, watching as he typed right away but frowning when it denied it. "try 'somebodyelse.'"

After each attempt of every famous song they had, it was still wrong. What pissed you off even more was that fans were gatekeeping the code no matter how many times Joon and you tweeted for help.

Greedy little shits.

Eventually, your screen allowed you into the room as well. It was no use, you didn't have the code. "I think I'm going to have a panic attack," you clutch your chest as you felt your lips quiver from sadness. "We were so close."

Pedro just stared at you not believing how miserable you suddenly became. Is this how easily young people let concerts take over themselves? Do people really idolize artists that much to the point where they feel depressed if they don't get tickets?

He shivered imagining how BTS fans dealt with this pressure.

"Let me try," Pedro speaks up, pushing you to the side as he began typing away on your keyboard.

It never hurts to try, right?

Innocently clicking away, your face fell as the check mark appeared, unlocking the room for you. "He got in!"

Hurriedly jumping to the screen, Joon urged Pedro to do the same as you began searching through the seats. Instantly clicking on the floor, you hit the continue button for 2 seats.

Feeling your nerves kick in, your hands begin to shake as you typed in the needed information in order to complete your order. But once you pressed 'place your order," your world stopped.

Ignoring your surroundings, you only focused on the screen. Quietly praying, you're sure Joon and Pedro could hear your desperate requests to the ruler of the universe to grant you your biggest wish: these tickets.

You Got The Tickets To The 1975!

Feeling weightless, you screamed so loud you were sure your neighbors were going to call the cops. Joon looked over, doing the same cheers once he realized you two were set for the show.

Jumping out of your chair, you practically tackled Pedro to the ground as you wrapped your arms around his neck and planted him numerous kisses all over his cheeks.

For once, you were happy you managed to outlast his annoying-self.

"I will forever be grateful for your existence!" you cheer, squeezing his poor body in your arms as he tried to remain in balance, laughing at how nice you suddenly became.

Planting a big kiss on his forehead, you turn to Joon and jump together in happiness. You couldn't believe you managed to score tickets, especially floor seats.

"Wait, what was the code?" Joon asked, pulling away from you and turning to Pedro who tried containing his grin.

"The 1975."

You dropped you arms, feeling incredibly stupid. How could you not write their name as a code attempt? It was shorter than 'it's not living if it's not with you.'

"Joon, we are officially the two dumbest people in New York City," you confess as he slowly nods before stopping.

"Not dumber than Jules though."

You heard her door open before her loud yelling appeared, "Well fuck you too!"

Ignoring her, you jump to Pedro who had his gaze on you already. "Welp! Since we got that out of the way, why don't you make some of that chicken alfredo with your sauce."

He smiled before realizing what you were asking. "What sauce?"

You roll your eyes before hitting his side. "The secretive one you were bothering us about."

Pedro bounces up once he understands what he had mentioned earlier. "Oh, right. That one," he chuckles. "I was kidding, I just wanted to see what you guys were dong."

Your face falls as Joon lets out a sad sigh. "Man, I really wanted to taste how thick and creamy that sauce was."

Pedro just tilts his head to Joon before pointing at the door. "It was great hanging with you guys though! Hey, at least we all worked together for those tickets! I'm gonna head out now, have a good rest of your evening!"

With that, he awkwardly backs away and opens the door, quickly running out before you could argue why he would lie about such a thing.

Before you could process what had just happened, he quickly opens the door again and peeps his head inside. "By the way, you don't actually like a deformed bull terrier," he clarifies. "I was kidding, maybe a cavalier king charles spaniel, those are precious."

And again, he runs out. This time, your face was pretty noticeable when it came to how much redness was present. You cringed to yourself, the littlest of compliments always made you blush- it made you sick.

Joon and you exchanged confused looks to each other. Pedro was a very interesting man.

"What is a cavalier king charles spaniel?" you lightly question.

"The dog in the arms of an angel commercial," Joon simply replies.

Reaching his car, Pedro quickly unlocked the door before jumping in. He felt his heart beating fast, not sure why it was doing so.

Was it because he adored how committed you were for those damn tickets? Maybe. Or how your eyes sparkled once you realized you got the right code? Possibly.

How you kissed him and pulled him in close? Most definitely.

But he would never reveal such a thing to anyone. People would take it wrong and believe he had feelings for you. All he had were feelings one would have for another close friend like you.

His heart was beating because he was excited for you, that's all.

Walking around the studio Monday morning was exhausting. Not only did you pull an all-nighter Saturday night because you were too happy to fall asleep, but you only managed to gain a few hours of sleep on Sunday as you were too busy trying to finish homework due that same night.

"Are you alright? Do you need water?" you heard Bella worriedly ask as you pulled a hoodie over your head and walked near the snacks table.

"I need a pill that can wake me up."

"That could be arranged," she joked, stopping when you sent her a serious look. "Not by me, of course."

Bella managed to wake you up a little once she suddenly pulled out her phone and turned the flash on, flashing it all around your face. "Are you trying to make me blind?!"

"It's supposed to wake you up, is it working?" she grinned, still shoving her phone up your face.

Grabbing her wrist, she stops. "No."

"Damn, that sucks."

Somehow you managed to pull yourself together, walking to where the rest of the interns were once you heard all the directors call out for an urgent meeting.

Probably wanting one of you to run to the coffee shop for coffee as usual.

Seeing Pedro waving at you from the side of his cast's group, you smiled and returned it. He then proceeded to make a confused face, wondering why there was an emergency meeting being held.

You sent the same look, adding a shrug because you were feeling the same. You weren't aware about what was going on, but noticing how many people were present- it must be a big deal.

Finn walked in and stood near the director, sending you a smile that didn't look natural.

If anything it looked fake and...sad?

"A lot of you are probably wondering why I called everyone down here on this early morning," you hear one of the directors begin, making some people nod while others just patiently waited for him to continue. "Starting with wonderful news, we have just been given access to explore our visuals and proceed to try out different surroundings in regards to our planned perception for the series."

Hearing a few people clap, you do the same. You were glad that the set was upgrading, but what did they have to do with everyone?

"Unfortunately," you heard him begin, causing your breathe to hitch. "with locations being held in various places like Canada, we are going to have to make cuts."

Feeling your heart drop, you already knew who he was planning to remove. A big series like this can't send interns they don't care about out of the country for help and you sure as hell couldn't afford to pay for the travels yourself if it came down to it.

You didn't want to make eye-contact with Bella or Pedro and feel their condolences through their expressions. All you wanted to do was be cut already so you could go home and cry at home.

To cry over a job was pathetic, but considering how much you learned and loved to manage it for the past couple months, it was sad to let it go.

As the director went down the list of small departments he planned on letting go, he finally made it to yours. "As for the interns, we are especially grateful for the hard work you brought to this set and trying to fill not only our needs but the casts. If we have any open positions in the near future we will make sure to grant you priority, and if you ever need letters of recommendations for your future activities, I am sure Finn would be able to handle that behind closed doors..."

You zoned out after that, not really caring what else was being said. It was the typical its not us excuse, claiming the company couldn't provide for all of their workers yet were able to spend millions of dollars on each location and its visuals.

The meeting was over when you noticed the directors and producers giving a final sympathetic look to the crowd, bowing their heads before walking back to where their offices were located.

"I feel like crying," you heard Jules sniffle, patting her under eye with her sweater. "But I took time on my eye makeup so I can't!"

Rubbing her shoulder, you tried to distract her from her tears coming out as Joon stood next to you guys, telling her funny spongebob jokes that she did not understand.

"Uh oh, Mr. Boss is coming. He's gonna make me cry, I can't hear his sorrow," Jules' explained, turning her back the other way.

"Hey, kids," you heard Pedro lightly say.

"The tears are coming out!" Jules' exclaimed, running away to the nearest bathroom while Joon and you looked at each other, feeling extremely bad for her.

"Sorry about that," Pedro awkwardly started, continuing once you shook off his unnecessary apology. "I just wanted to talk, see how you guys are handling the unfortunate news."

Joon was the first to speak, sounding surprisingly calm for someone who just lost his internship. "It sucks, but at least it was for an understandable reason. Traveling costs money. Plus, we go to school here, we can't just leave."

You nodded, agreeing with what he said. It was true, you should have known this job would've ended sooner than later, there was only so much you could have done inside a film studio.

The series was an apocalypse that needed feature more outside and environmental sets that looked deadly than a building that was only useful for inside takes.

"How about you?" He questions, sincere eyes following yours as you shrug.

"I am sad but that's the industry," you force out a small chuckle. "If you aren't cut at least once, you aren't gaining the full experience."

Right after you said that, you felt tears lining around the inner corner of your eyes. Looking down, you tru to contain yourself. "I'm going to go check up on Jules."

Reaching out for you, Pedro tries to console you but you were out of his reach in seconds. He hated the tears in your eyes and his job being the reason behind it.

He felt as if it were his fault for your departure when he knows he shouldn't.

It also didn't make him feel any better that Joon followed straight after you once you walked away. He knew he had to do something but he wasn't sure.

All he knew was that he would rather see you smile than cry.

[tillthelandslide]

Same For You: (2) Your Very Own Mirror

Series Warnings: slow burn romance, eventual smut, age gap, complicated relationship (low-key unhealthy dynamics), eventual love...

A/n: here's the next part, I really hope you enjoy. I know it may seem a bit boring so far but just you wait... Hope you enjoy, love Lou

Series Masterlist

(1) This Is How It Starts

When Matty had asked her to get coffee with him she didn't know what to say initially. She was firstly confused as to how he got her number, she then learned that Charli had given her number to George, who had given it Matty and then Ross. The latter excited her, for she was hoping he'd message her.

At the bar after she performed, they had all hit it off immediately, they laughed and joked and spoke about everything, her life, their lives, her career and aspirations, their careers (which of course she knew about).

She felt like she had known them for longer than just that one night, she felt comfortable from the get go, which was a vary rare occurrence for her. She couldn't help but think (or imagine, she wasn't sure) that things with Ross were different from the others, it wasn't that he was flirty per-say, in fact he was quite reserved, but something felt different, when he spoke, he had this effect on her, he made her bones tingle and her hairs stand on end. She felt utterly delusional, convincing herself that she was going mad.

After much contemplation, she decided to agree to get coffee with the lead singer, agreeing to meet at a shop that was in-between her flat and Matty's. She was dressed in a comfortable pair of blue denim jeans, a sleeveless black crop top, a black leather jacket and black boots. Her hair was down, hooked behind her ears.

She had arrived at the coffee shop 30 minutes before the agreed time, preferring to get settled before meeting someone, especially someone new. Her notebook was resting against the table as she wrote whatever came to mind. She hears a cough above her making her attention snap up, seeing Matty.

"Hello love... See you're an early bird too, which makes me happy... I hate it when people are late" he says making her chuckle.

"Me too" she says, standing from the table, he holds his arms out and she hugs him, the first hug they had ever shared, but despite that, it didn't feel like it, it felt comfortable. She doesn't say that the reason she's early has more to do with being incredibly anxious rather than hating being tardy.

"Good to see you again" she says honestly, the curly haired man smiling at her words.

"You too" he says before the pair sit down. They begin talking about all sorts, Y/n hands her book to Matty when he asks and he smiles as he reads her words.

"These are impressive y/n... Seriously how aren't your songs out there? Like properly?" He asks and she shrugs.

"Never met with a manager, or a label or a producer who wanted the same things as me... Or the band... We'd much rather do what we want, when we want, performing to a small group of people who genuinely want to listen... Than to be molded into something we're not" she says. Matty raises his eyebrows impressively.

"You're 24? seriously I'd swear you're more mature than me" he says making her chuckle. He finds himself smiling when she does, liking the fact he was the one that made her smile.

"Age is just a number Healy" she jokes making him raise his eyebrows and smirk down at her.

"Well we're really interested in having you on the label... It's Jamie's label but I help run it... And I was talking to G after we met and we both said how much we wanted to work with you.. help you produce an album that you wanted to produce..." He explains. She feels a little overwhelmed at his confession but also very excited.

"I'd have to talk to the band..." She says and Matty nods.

"Of course" he says.

"Oh and Ross said he'd be happy to help if you needed, don't know if you'd need all three of us but I think we all bring something to the table" she feels a thrill run through her at his words. She felt ridiculous for it, she didn't know much about the man, apart from the fact he was absolutely gorgeous and undeniably hot, and that he was kind.

"Wow, that's really... Generous" she says, making Matty smile.

"Listen y/n, you're talented... We all saw that... And if you'd let us, it would be a true honour to work with you... And your band" he says, closing her notebook and passing it back to her. They change the subject after that, Matty didn't want to place too much pressure on her to make a decision.

"Now tell me about this" he says, hand closing around her wrist, gently pulling it towards him, thumb running over the ink with a smirk. He watches as her cheeks tint a dark shade of red as her eyes find his. His touch sparks something inside her, something unknown, something new and desired.

"Alright don't tease me" she says, slowly beginning to draw her arm back but smiling when he stops her.

"I'm not! I swear... I love it" he says, thumb still tracing over the outline of the box tattoo.

"Well.. let me start by saying: I never ever, in my wildest dreams thought I'd ever meet you guys... This is kind of mortifying to be honest" she chuckles at herself, only stopping when she spots the serious expression on his face, one that reads "don't. Don't do that". She often made jokes out of situations, serious situations and being sincere and earnest often terrified her, so instead she'd make jokes at her own expense. Matty could tell this straight away, and maybe it was because he did it too, or that he already found himself caring for her and wanting to know her more, but he didn't want her doing that with him.

"Well ive been a huge fan of you guys for years... Your music really helped me to be honest" she goes on to explain that she found their music when she was in a dark place mentally, going through the usual teenage woes but also some deeper issues, she explained how their music saved her, as cliche as it was. She explained how their lyrics made her feel seen and understood. She explained how Matty's brain worked similarly to hers, and that she admired it. He agreed, seeing himself in her too. He kept saying he was in disbelief that she was as young as she was (in comparison to him anyway).

"I really love that you have it... And opposite mine" he says, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Careful Healy... Don't go getting the wrong ideas... You're not my fave" she jokes and he laughs, murmuring a "who is then" which holds a certain amount of sadness in the words, a tone that makes her feel unsure, mainly because she found herself feeling guilty, worried she had hurt his feelings.

"Oh I'll never tell" she says before he's returning to the previous topic, of her tattoo, not the placement.

"Kind of strokes my ego a little bit to be honest" he jokes and she smiles at him, his hand was now clasped around his coffee cup and hers was resting in her lap, absentmindedly stroking her own skin where the tattoo rested, still feeling the ghost of his touch under hers.

"As if you need your ego to be stoked even more" she said, she hoped it didn't come across weirdly, but the truth was she knew him far more than he knew her.

"Oh because you know me so well..." He jokes and her smile falls.

"Ouch" she says half jokingly.

"Hey hey that was a joke... I'm sorry love" he says, eyes softening as he looks at her again.

"No... It's kind of true to be honest. Sure I know the person you put across... I know the person I've been admiring for years... But guess I don't really know the true Matty Healy" she says.

"Do you want to?" He asks, laughing at himself

"Kind of yeah" he feels his heart beat pick up slightly, trying to shake off the feeling with a sharp inhale of breath.

"Okay... Well I know far less about you. But I want to" they then proceed to talk about most things. They fill each other in on every detail of their respective lives. Y/n finds out some things she already knew, but she hears about them in more detail, in ways that only close friends would know and she feels honored that he wanted to tell her.

Matty finds out about her childhood and her life, her love for music, her favorite colour and her favourite food, he finds out that she struggles with anxiety and that her brain is similar to his. By the end of the day, he feels closer to her, but he's surprised when he feels like he had known her for a lifetime. He supposes it's because she resembled him, looking at her was like looking in a shattered mirror, the shards were him but the cracks were someone else, something else. Something that represented love and beauty and kindness, something that he longed for.

When Matty grabs her phone to take pictures of the pair, some miniscule part of her brain tells her that the situation is weird... They hadn't known each other that long, yet they were acting like they were best friends. She pushed the thought away and allowed him to take funny pictures of them both, posing in typical 'instagram model" poses when instructed by him. She allows him to change his contact name in her phone and allows him to change his contact picture to one of them, one where they're looking at each other and sticking their tongues out.

She smiles at the picture but it doesn't feel like she's looking at herself, instead she's looking at this new version of herself and she doesn't hate what she sees.

Matty clicks on his contact number, attaching some of the photos they had taken and sending it to himself. He slides the phone back over to her and turns to face her again, placing his hand in his palm as he looks at her.

"I like hanging out with you, you're just like me" he says and she nods.

"Your very own mirror"

"I like that... You should write that down" he says, sliding her notebook towards him and scribbling the words on an empty page.

Note: I really hope you are liking this so far... I really like this series guys 🥺 (never thought I'd say that about my own series but yeah) I hope you like it too. If you do please consider reblogging, liking or commenting. Also if you have any thoughts or anything please feel free to message me 🫶 love you - Lou

(3) The Deal

© all lyrics are written and owned by yours truly (let's ignore the fact they're not that good but yeah) no stealing hehe

[wreckedandpolemic]

she's got a boyfriend anyway - matty healy

part i - the night's like a whirlwind, somebody's girlfriend

yes u read that right its a series babey!! we love u cheatersss!!

warnings: not technically 18+ but the series will be, cheating, drinking, smoking

You clutch your plastic cup of wine like a lifeline, your pulse thundering in your throat to the beat of the song playing over the speakers. Snatches of indistinct conversation float around you, too intangible to grasp. You can’t hear your footsteps on the kitchen tile — are you even really there? It doesn’t seem like it. You bump into people and they don’t even notice, like you’re a ghost. The relief is palpable on your face when you step out of the crowded, close heat of the house into the cool night air. You slide the glass door shut, muffling the violent bass shaking the building. The cold metal of the chair you sit on bites your thighs, revealed by your too-short dress riding up.

A soft clicking sound accompanied by a brief flash and a frustrated scoff catches your attention and you turn to see a silhouette. His face is shrouded in shadow, the spark of the lighter illuminating him just long enough to catch pretty, almost feminine cheekbones and long, messy curls.

Matty turns to you. “Hey,” he says, lifting his chin at you. “You don’t have a light, do you? This thing’s a piece of shit.” He waves his empty lighter at you and pulls out the chair opposite, taking a seat across from you. Resting his elbows on the table, he props his chin up on his hands coquettishly and looks you up and down.

“Yeah, giz a sec,” you reply. You hate that it’s so awkward between you — you haven’t spoken in months, not since you left for uni, and neither of you reached out when you got back last week. You’ve missed him, and you miss him more acutely now he’s within your grasp and yet still so far. If you reached out, you think he would dissipate, shimmering, like a mirage. The sound of his fingers drumming impatiently on the table makes you remember his request and you wrench your gaze away from his hands, rings sparkling in the low light. You don’t miss the way his eyes latch onto your tits, spilling out of your low-cut dress, as you dig in your bra for your lighter. It’s warm in your hand as you pass it to him, something flickering between you when your skin brushes his.

You’ve always been each other’s forbidden fruit, polarising magnets circling each other for years but never colliding. The time was never right; there was always something in the way — his girlfriend, your studying, the band, work. Then, when you were packing up for uni, you told him it had to be over for good, no more dancing around each other, prodding at boundaries to see if they’ll give. It was easier to tell him over the phone, and you got to hide from the fallout in London for a few months. You even have a boyfriend, a sweet, loving, devoted boyfriend, and you’ve not (okay, barely) thought about Matty since. Until now, and the realisation hits you like a bucket of cold water that it isn’t over, because it never will be.

“Thanks,” he says, low voice muffled by the cigarette and cutting through your thoughts and reminding you with a bump that he’s there, in front of you, close enough to reach out and touch. You have to restrain yourself from brushing a stray curl out of his eyes.

You shrug. “Anytime.” Matty lifts the lighter up, illuminating the soft planes of his face for a second. You watch, fascinated, as he hollows his cheeks, filling his lungs with smoke, the tip of his cigarette glowing orange. Smoke pours from his mouth when he exhales, and a familiar itch buzzes under your skin.

“Giz a cig,” you say, leaning forward and swiping his pack from his front pocket before he can protest. “I’m dying for one.” You pluck a cigarette from the pack and twirl it between your fingers, reaching for your lighter.

Matty snatches it away with a grin. “Cheeky,” he teases. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you? Still a thieving little bitch. Thought London might straighten you out, but no luck.”

You grin, easily slipping back into that oh-so-familiar playful, flirty banter. “In your dreams, Healy,”

“Oh, every night since you left, princess.” His words strike a bolt of sinful lust through your body. You want to crack that pretty head of his open, see exactly what he dreams about, live it through his eyes, feel it through his body.

“Is that so?” you grin, leaning forward, the part of your brain warning you against him growing quieter and quieter with every passing second. Matty nods, inching closer as if entranced by you, that magnetic pull overtaking him. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, delicious and red and tempting. While he’s distracted, you make a grab for your lighter, but he’s still faster.

“Not so fast,” he grins, lifting it just out of your reach. “Come here,” he says, returning his cigarette to his mouth and beckoning you. You have to stand just a little for your cigarette to touch his. “Deep breath,” he instructs, as if you don’t know how to light a cigarette. From anyone else, you’d find it horribly patronising. You pull obligingly, though, the embers catching your cigarette alight and flooding your mouth with smoke. It’s intimate, a kiss without touch.

A deep inhale sends the nicotine buzzing through your blood, your head going fuzzy for a second before everything clicks into even sharper focus. “Thanks,” you murmur faintly, dragging on the cigarette again before you trust yourself to speak.

He leans back, eyeing you, scrutinising your guarded expression. “How come you came out here all alone? Bored of your fit friends?”

You squint at him. “They’re your friends too.” Then you shrug, pondering his question. You wonder if, subconsciously, you were looking for him. “Just wanted a fag, didn’t I? Plus it’s loud as fuck in there,”

Matty gives the barest hint of a nod. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it as if thinking better. But, of course, he never thinks better for long. “Not brought your boyfriend, then?” he asks, disparaging tone making no secret of what he thinks of him. They’ve not even met, all he knows is what he’s seen on the Internet and what your friends have told him. But then, he’d find a way to condescend anyone you were dating, even if he were a consecrated saint.

You roll your eyes. He’s such a boy. You can tell he wants you, it’s written all over his face, but he won’t say it. He wants you to be the one to make the leap, he wants you to feed his ego by throwing your morals aside for him, dirty up your hands until the stain of infidelity clings under your nails. “Nah,” you say, leaning back and watching him wait for elaboration you won’t give. “But I can call him.” You pause. A vein jumps in his forehead. “If you want,”

“Go on, then,” he says, smoke billowing around him. He’s calling your bluff, and six months ago he would have been right. But he doesn’t know you inside and out anymore. You’re sharper now, a thing with corners and shadows to hide in, and you don’t make empty threats.

You pick your phone up from where it rests on the table, unlocking it and navigating to your contacts. Your finger hovers over your boyfriend’s name, and you quirk an eyebrow at him, giving him one last chance. Matty doesn’t move, so you pick up the phone and lift it to your ear. It rings once, twice, then his hand shoots out to snatch it from your grasp. He hangs up, stabbing the button violently, then surges forward.

He crashes into your waiting mouth, sending fireworks rocketing through your body. The kiss is intense, years of pent-up want and longing flowing between you. Kissing your boyfriend has never felt like this.

Wait.

Your heart stops and you pull away, flickering your eyes over his wet mouth and heaving chest before forcing yourself to look down at the table. It’ll be easier to force the words out without looking at him. “I…” You swallow thickly. “We can’t. My… I’ve got a—”

He presses two fingers to your lips to shut you up. “Love, I don’t give a fuck about your boyfriend.” Your eyes track him as he walks around the table, coming up behind you and turning you around. He’s so close to you. Danger, your mind screams, vision pulsing red, but your body calls out to him and you press closer. “And I don’t think you do, either.”

Against your better instincts, you kiss him again, burying your hand in his soft curls the way you’ve wanted to for years. Matty grips your waist, nails digging like you’re something precious he’s caught and can’t release. His tongue sweeps your mouth, tasting of cigarettes and orange gin and some underlying taste that’s uniquely Matty, and it’s addictive. You kiss harder, rocking your body against him, open-mouthed whines escaping you. “You’re right,” you admit, his hands on your body making it feel like something sacred, a prayer instead of confession. “I don’t give a fuck about him. Not if I can have you,”

Something that sounds suspiciously like a moan escapes him, and he presses his lips to yours one last time before pulling away with a smug grin. “If you’re throwing him away for a kiss, imagine how much better I fuck.” You still, your body betraying you. He gasps, that infallible smirk stealing back onto his face. “Oh, poor baby. Is that it? Your pretty boyfriend can’t make you come?”

You shudder. How did he know? Encounters flash in your mind, every time he’s rolled off you with a grunt, leaving you with nothing, every time you’ve faked it just to get it over with, and Matty watches your face as if your memories are flickering in your eyes. “...No,” you admit, cheeks heating. He brushes a thumb over your cheek, sparks tracing in his wake.

“I could,” he murmurs, breath warm in the cold night air. “I could make you fall apart with my hands, in my mouth, on my cock. I’d fucking worship that gorgeous body of yours, princess.” You’re panting into his mouth, the mental images so vivid you can practically feel him inside you. “Do you want me to?”

Every nerve in your body screams out for him. The air between you is thick with lust, a plea balanced delicately on the tip of your tongue. “I—” The door clatters open and you bite back a frustrated scream, shoving Matty off you.

“There you are!” gasps the host, a high school friend named Rebecca. Then she catches sight of your compromising position and smirks knowingly. “Well, don’t you look cosy?” You freeze, a dozen explanations springing to your lips, all of them faulty and insufficient. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell.” She mimes zipping her lips shut, then darts out of the kitchen and seizes your arm. “Now, come on! We’re doing shots!”

You let her drag you away, as much as you’d rather stay with Matty, because it is her party, after all. Several rounds of shots later, your mind is fuzzy from drink and you’re stumbling around with the singular goal of finding Matty again and finishing what you started. After a few minutes of hunting high and low, someone tells you he’s gone home. You pout; it’s not like him to leave a party so early. Then, someone presses another glass of wine into your hand and drags you off to dance and you forget all about him until you make it home.

You lay in bed, face clean and painkillers dissolving in your belly, and your thoughts turn back to Matty. His warm breath on your face, hands tight around your body, dirty words staining your memories. Closing your eyes and clenching your thighs, you ignore the pang of guilt and let your mind wander to the promises he made, replaying those vivid pictures over and over.

God, you are utterly and completely fucked.

[dnpoll]

my personal explanations below the cut!

also i scheduled this poll and i realised i forgot ARIANA GRANDE that's deep lore... GOD

muse: one of the things that dan and phil bonded over when they met each other - phil's favourite artist with his streams making it dan's top artist from 2014-2016. they have also seen muse at least five times! dan has played muse songs several times on the piano (specifically sunburn) + they did a lip sync video to muse for bbc radio. also they made fun of kristen stewart a lot when they were younger (they have since apologised and called her an iconic) and she was in twilight and muse supermassive black hole is famously in twilight so...

final fantasy vii: the soundtrack with interrupted by fireworks! dan said it reminded him of phil in a formspring answer <3 and that's all...

fall out boy: firstly "no but seriously imagine if:". secondly they have interviewed fob several times for the bbc! thirdly, specifically with pete wentz, he was dan's icon in his teenage years. he followed dan because of the interviews with him - he even prank called dan in call or delete. but as punishment in a best friend quiz video, phil tweeted "sometimes i dream about being one of the reindeer galloping through the sky with leather straps tying me to my friends mm yes carrots please" from dan's account - and pete wentz unfollowed fob. i am also convinced they think the milk fic is a petekey fic or something

the 1975: dan and phil called into the radio as fans when they were not hosting and the 1975 was there! dan said he was there with "his friend phil" and matty healy immediately recognised them as "dan and phil from the radio" despite them trying to be sneaky about it. dan also LOVED a brief inquiry into online relationships which he posted on his story and said he was "personally attacked by literally every song on the album". mm okay

my chemical romance: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". secondly dan specifically was/is a huge fan of mcr - although phil did sing welcome to the black parade (incorrectly) in a yasuhati video). mcr was also referenced in dan and anthony padilla's stop emo hate video, basically i'm gay and the dream daddy series, just to name a few (they g note a LOT). also hesitant alien featured in the tour of dan's brain video! gerard used to follow dan on twitter but doesn't anymore... beef?

panic! at the disco: firstly "no but seriously imagine if". also brendon and ryan are in the milk fic which they constantly reference. also there's a dnp edit with 57k views to house of memories

frank ocean: dan's top song in 2012 was "thinkin about you" by frank ocean which ppl talk abt a lot for many reasons. he also said his religion was frank ocean in 2016 LOL

troye sivan: YOUTUBE FRIENDS LOL - the iconic pic with dan, phil, troye and tyler! also dan and phil were the first people to play troye sivan's happy little pill on the radio, and are thus partially responsible for his success. troye sivan also led to chappell roan's success, so basically muse is responsible for chappell roan. troye also featured in a phil glasses video!

one direction: firstly, dnp interviewed them - a harrowing event that they outline in detail in tabinof. secondly, the iconic dan eating an orange picture behind a 1d concert. lastly, they talk about harry styles quite a bit - phil posed as him in a viewers pick my outfit, and of course the rotisserie chicken situation

nick jonas: hey buddy you in london #dick

smash mouth: more recent dan-based lore but mark (tour member) made an instagram story asking how to get all-star licensed. a phannie (royalsdnp on twt) then tweeted about it, and smash mouth (the twt account) saw it. dan then tweeted at the account asking for it, and it worked! smash mouth is now an official dannie, having tweeted orange for wad, and also offered the original demo for shrek to be used, saying it can maybe be for dan's next special. generally insane because dan has ofc always been a huge shrek fan as a part of his meme personality in the 2010s, even dressing up as him for a calendar

[juju-or-anya]

I don't understand the hatred towards Joe Alwyn just for being Taylor Swift's ex. As a fan of Taylor and someone who doesn't really follow Joe's career, apart from some occasional appearances in a series or movie I've watched, it seems unfair to me.

I understand that we love Taylor, follow her career, and identify with her art, but sometimes it seems like we believe she holds the absolute truth. Before her relationship with Joe ended, everyone had him on a pedestal: he was perfect, a prince, he was there for Taylor during tough times, etc. When they broke up, many were heartbroken as if their parents had divorced, thinking Taylor would never be happy without her prince, while she publicly dated other men and Joe didn't make any of his possible relationships public. And of course, people started saying she was kissing frogs, searching for true love. Then she began dating Travis, and once again, the new boyfriend was put on a pedestal: Travis is wonderful, Travis this, Travis that.

Then the rumor came out, and I repeat, RUMOR, that Joe cheated on Taylor, and people started hating him, doing exactly what everyone hates and condemns when it's done to Taylor: criticizing his appearance, saying he looks a certain way, etc. Taylor announced the album "The Tortured Poets Department" and 20 million theories emerged saying she was going to admit that Joe cheated on her, that he is a terrible person, that we should hate him. But in the end, Taylor only said that he didn't want to marry her, that he had mental health issues, and that she emotionally cheated on him with Matty Healy.

So, I really don't understand why we have to hate him. Until recently, he hadn't said a word about Taylor. He has only promoted his career and film work, attended premieres, charity events, and that's it. And after all the hate he's received for being Taylor's ex, he finally spoke out. There is no real reason to hate him because we don't really know what Taylor and Joe's relationship was like. We don't know them in real life; we only know what they tell us, what they want us to know. Behind closed doors, they are different people, and their relationship was something else.

Plus: Taylor Swift has had more questionable boyfriends than Joe, in fact, Travis Kelce is very questionable enough to criticize Joe for something like he didn't want to marry her because of her mental health

[undoing-anobrains]

you bring me home - matty healy

part one

series masterlist: :)

wc: 1.9K

Nothing could have ever prepared Caroline for the world as she knew it suddenly ceasing to exist and being forced to move in with her brother and his best friend. Well maybe saying he forced her was a bit of an exaggeration but George had been very clear that she could join them willingly or he would come and pick her up because he wasn't leaving her to mope and deal with her recent heartbreak all by herself for who knows how long. 

Just weeks ago her fiancé, well, she should say ex-fiancé now broke things off with her while they were visiting wedding venues because he claimed he didn't love her anymore. It had been like a sudden rough force hitting her in the stomach. Knees almost crippling underneath her and the bright smile she had been bearing since they arrived vanished within milliseconds. The sharp pain left her gasping for air, at the mercy of the cold man who had so casually ripped her heart out.

Now she was living by herself in their formerly shared apartment. Haunted by memories everywhere she turned. She couldn't sleep in their bedroom anymore, not when she was greeted every morning with the right hand side of the bed empty and untouched. She had boxed up all of the belongings he had left behind once the anger at the situation had passed but she hadn't been able to open it since. And then there was the ring. It felt wrong to keep wearing it when it was a reminder of her farce of a relationship but she still loved it. Mainly because she had picked the ring out herself because he never knew what jewellery to buy her - seriously, Caroline had never worn silver in her life and what did he get her for every anniversary and holiday? The same silver heart necklace.

Glancing out of the apartment window Caroline noticed the raindrops sliding down the glass. How fucking appropriate, she mused. George had rang her earlier to say that he was on the way to pick her up so she found herself waiting eagerly to catch a glimpse of his car. At first she had been hesitant to even accept his offer of moving into the studio for however long they were in lockdown and living with her brother for the first time since they were teenagers. But after spending the past few weeks feeling like a ghost in what was once her home, she desperately needed the change in scenery, and company.

Apparently she had completely missed his car pulling up outside even in her concentrated efforts because a knock rapped against the door. Caroline quickly headed to unlock it and within seconds George was stood before her. "Hey, Caro," George said hugging her tightly "ready for a change of scenery?"

Caroline nodded. "I think I'd go insane if I stayed here any longer G."

"Well," George shot her a grin "I can't promise that you won't go insane living with Matty but it's definitely better than moping in here by yourself."

Matty. That had been the only real reason she had felt so hesitant accepting George's offer. They had never really been close considering their age gap. Caroline had still been in school when the band started to take off and by that point the boys had surpassed the need for family members filling the audience at their gigs. She had met her brother's closest friend a few times over the years, mainly when he would come over to their house to get high with George in his room. Caroline had the biggest crush on him back then, not that she would ever admit it, but she had a suspicion that he knew because of the occasional joke he made when they got older.

She'd played the part of the supportive sister at their early gigs and she made sure to support them by going to whatever shows she could get time off work. George was incredibly talented but there was no denying Matty's charisma on stage. Caroline hated how easily he captured her attention whenever she watched one of their performances. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the whole band, her gaze always wandered back to the one member who'd never really given her the time of day.

Even at 25 she was convinced that he still only saw her as George's kid sister. And she’d accepted that - it was a childhood crush and destined to be nothing more. She was meant to be getting married to another man after all. A man who she had once believed to be the love of her life. However, she supposed it was true what they said about your first love because she’d never forgotten about it. If you could even call unrequited infatuation fuelled by adolescent pining a first love.

"I dealt with both of you growing up," Caroline deadpanned "I think I can handle it just fine."

George feigned offence momentarily but he knew it wasn't an argument he was ever going to win if he let Caroline get started. Similarly to Matty she could talk for England - the only difference being she had some self control and it mainly showed when she was really passionate about something, whereas Matty just never shut up.

With that Caroline had handed her bags to a reluctant George and she left the apartment without a second glance. Deep down she was tempted to take a minute to remember the place which for the last five years of her life she had called home but everything about it was as tainted as the wilting roses forever frozen in time that she didn't have the heart to replace. 

George loaded her bags into the back of his car when they reached it before turning to Caroline with a teasing grin "do you want to drive?"

"Do you have a death wish?" she beamed back at him "because if you do I'm more than happy to assist."

Caroline's relationship with driving had always been a constant source of entertainment for her brother. Even after he moved out, it still never failed to bring him some amusement. She was an absolute menace on the roads and had failed her driving test an impressive ten times before deciding that maybe she just wasn't meant to drive. Initially George had been the one forced to take her driving to appease their parents but he quickly grew bored of attempting to teach his sister who he claimed was hopeless (and maybe he was right but that wasn't the point.) He ended up pawning her off to Hann because he was the most sensible one and Ross would just encourage her chaotic tendencies on the road and Matty wasn't much better himself.

He gestured to the passenger seat in the car and Caroline took the hint. She climbed into the car, her emotions swirling within her, yet finding comfort in her brother's presence. George settled into the driver's seat beside her, his strong hands gripping the steering wheel with determination. "Ready passenger princess?"

"Look G," Caroline smirked "some people were meant to drive and the rest of us were born to be driven everywhere .

As the engine roared to life, Caroline quicky seized control of the aux. Moving slowly at first as they pulled away from her now old apartment building, before picking up speed as they left the city behind. Caroline watched the scenery pass by a blur of buildings and streets transforming into sprawling landscapes.

Throughout the drive Caroline noticed George glancing over at her whenever he thought she wasn't aware of it. As overbearing as his protective brother act could be sometimes she found herself especially grateful for it this time.  Their shared silence spoke volumes and their unspoken bond conveyed all the comfort and understanding in the world. 

"Matty's already here, by the way," George informed her as they approached the secluded studio.

That was all Caroline really took in. For the remainder of the journey she felt like she was just an autopilot. Like she was just a shell in place of a human. Then before she knew it George brought the car to a complete stop and parked it right in front of the studio. She later eyes on Matty instantly although not intentionally, he just so happened to be caught in her direct line of vision immediately after she hoped out of the car. He looked good. Happier than she’d seen him in years.

When their gazes locked for the first time in a year Caroline was slightly intimidated by the intensity of Matty’s stare but it melted away and reformed into the familiar teasing smile she had come to associate with Matty. She desperately to part her lips and speak but something was stopping her. It was unlike Matty to hold back like this as well and Caroline didn’t know what to make of this sudden reserved demeanour to him. They were at a standstill with George completely unaware of their staring match as he unloaded both of their bags from the back of his car. Caroline felt as though her throat was stuck and all the witty comments she’d been calculating in the back of her mind were suddenly wiped from her memory.

Despite having the ability to hear Matty’s voice at anytime through his music and interviews, Caroline was ever grateful that she’d been blessed with the opportunity to hear it in person. Yet even after being so sure she could resist the almost magnetic pull Matty’s voice had on her, any hope of finally being free of that childhood crush she’d never been able to let go of quickly diminished the second those words fell from Matty’s lips.

They fell like soft,music notes. A mixture of quavers, minims and crotchets perfectly arranged to enthrall her and leave her practically speechless at the beautiful melody they created that was Matty’s voice. And Caroline’s heartbeat? In that moment it mimicked a crescendo like no other. One that would put all of the greatest musicians and composers to shame.

Matty’s surprisingly veiny and dexterous hand filled her vision pulling her abruptly out of her quiet admiration as he notably leaned against the doorframe. “Well, well, well, look who's finally here. The famous Caroline Daniel graces us with her presence."

Caroline felt her cheeks turning a shade of pink so she tried to brush it off by playfully rolled her eyes in an effort to compose herself. “If anyone’s famous here darling we both know it’s not me,” Caroline grinned “I’m just here because George didn’t want me to have a mental breakdown by myself.”

Matty chuckled his voice laced with a hint of mischief “Say the word love and I’ll join you…” before his tone turned more genuine “for what it’s worth, I've missed having you around."

She wanted to make a stinging comment about that being a first. Or about him finally properly acknowledging and taking to her for the first time in years. But she held back. If they were going to be living together with only George as a mediator she didn’t want to purposefully instigate things. Besides, she was just here so she didn’t have to wallow in her misery alone. Not even the presence of the only guy she’d never really gotten over could throw a wrench in that, right?

[justanamesstuff]

All I Need

Chapter 8

A/N: I'm just going to say, don't hate me...and I love you guys!! Thanks for reading :'))

Warnings: a pinch of fluff, ANGST, hate, possibilities of someone cheating, baby crying, typos.

Word count: 10 k

Blog masterlist Series MASTERLIST

Morning of the 1st show of ‘The 1975 on tour’.

The sun peaking through the curtains –of Matty’s room– enlighten the place enough to wake Y/n up. She blinked her eyes open, staring at the wall a few meters further from the bed. Y/n rubbed her cheek on Matty’s chest, feeling it rise and fall rhythmically. He was still asleep, keeping her safe and close to him. 

Y/n couldn’t help to smile, enjoying the last minutes before they had to start the day; a busy day, specially for Matty and the band. 

She lifted her head from his chest, choosing to look at him. Matty moved his head to her side as a subconscious response to her actions. His long eyelashes resting on the top of his cheeks, his curls a mess around his pillow. Y/n’s smile grew fonder. 

The last month and a half with Matty felt like a dream. Her dream. Y/n felt her chest contract to the feeling of having to say goodbye to Matty for a few weeks. The show was the first one of a long list around the UK. The band was going to be closer, but Matty wasn’t going to be close enough. She wanted him right there, all the time, but life had other plans. Y/n tried to get rid of those thoughts. She glanced at the vintage clock Matty had on his bedside table.

Y/n let her hands touch the skin of his right cheek. “Matty.” She started sweetly. 

“Mmm.” Matty mumbled following her touch. 

“You need to wake up.”

“Mmm.” He let out again, reaching –still with his eyes close– for the back of her head. “We still have time-” Matty’s voice was deep due to sleep. He tried to bring her closer. 

“We don’t, babe.” Y/n let him know, preventing the sadness to slip away, tinting her words.

Matty groaned, opening his eyes only a quarter to look at Y/n. “I don’t want the day to start.”

Y/n couldn’t help to laugh at his lie. He had been excited to be back on stage, with the guys and the fans in the same room. He was static for Amelia to watch daddy perform for the first time in her short life. 

“That’s a lie, Healy.”

Y/n let him brought her towards his face this time. She let their noses touch on a sweet caress. Matty let his lids fall again, sensing her, imprinting the moment in his head for the next few weeks until they could repeat it. 

“I’m going to miss you.” Matty said, acknowledging the elephant in the room.

Y/n swallowed thick, trying not to cry. “Mmm.” She could only let out, which called Matty’s attention. He stared at her face, searching for her eyes, although Y/n kept them close. 

“Oh, baby!” Matty was fully awake now. His heart broken at the sight of her suffering because he had to leave. “It’s going to go by so quickly…and we’ll be back together in no time, okay?”

“Yes.” Y/n let their foreheads touch. 

“Come here.”

Y/n rested her head once more on top of Matty’s body, hiding her head on his neck. She breathed him in; his aftershave mixed with the smell of the –horrible– camels he smoked, his essence. Instead of suppressing what she was going through, Y/n let herself actually feel everything. That was the thing with Matty, she felt safe enough –when it was him and her– to just be herself. Y/n knew Matty would be there to support her if she needed him.

The sound of Amelia waking up came from behind Y/n. The baby call resting on her bedside table announced the actual start of the day.

“Can you get her?” Y/n asked Matty.

He let some breath out, similar to a laugh. “It’s your turn…” He reminded her.

“No, it’s yours!” Y/n protested, without wanting to leave her place on the bed. “Please!” She softly begged.

“What do I get?” Matty played it suggestively. 

It was a game that could be played by the both of them. Y/n shoot back, “I’ll do anything you ask…”

“I like the sound of that, baby.” Matty let his hip buckled up, making her sense his morning arouse. 

“Healy, your daughter is waiting…and you have your head deep in the gutter-” Y/n shook her head as a way to let him know she was disappointed.

Matty smiled wide, “I’d like to have it deep in yours, if you ask me.” Y/n gasped out loud, lifting her head from his body.

“And thinking you’re her favourite!” She told him, coming to rest her back on the headboard of Matty’s bed. 

“‘Course I am…I’m daddy!” He answered proudly.

Y/n looked at him stood up –grabbing his sweatpants– and teased him, “Mhm, you’re daddy…”

Matty turned around with his trousers half up his skinny legs. He looked at her stunned, protesting, “Don’t say it like that!” 

“What?” Y/n exclaimed innocently.

“You make it sound weird…” Y/n laughed about it. “Anyway, I’ll get our baby…” He informed her, marching to the door. 

“Matt?”

“Yes?” He turned around after he heard her talk. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Matty looked around, trying to figure out what could it be. “What?” He stared at her blankly. 

“Kiss.” Y/n only pronounced, gaining a big smile from Matty.

On a quick movement, Matty jumped on the bed, pinning her on the mattress. “Now Mel has to wait because of you-” He breathed on her lips. 

“What a horrible parents we are.” Y/n joked, grabbing his cheeks. 

Matty let all his body weight rest on Y/n, connecting their lips. Y/n felt his hard on restricted between their bodies. She wished Amelia had slept longer that morning, but it was a dead wish. The little girl was bubbling away at the other end of the baby call. 

“Okay, go.” Y/n indicated with their lips still connected.

“One more…” The singer requested breathless. “I can’t get enough of you.” Matty admitted with his mind fogged. He let his nose lead the way, drawing a path from her lips, down her chin and onto her neck. 

“I hope you never get enough…” Y/n ran a hand through his curls, tugging a little. 

“Rude!” Matty protested. 

Y/n rolled her eyes, “You know how I mean it…”

“Fine. You know what? I’ll go and get a girl that values me-” Matty continued his fake annoyance, proud of himself when she smiled brightly at him.

“Your own daughter doesn’t count, Healy.” Y/n warned Matty, joining the joke.

“‘Course she counts. She’s the person I love the most, and she loves me equally back.” Matty dramatically presented the facts for her.

“Oh, I know!”

Matty looked at Y/n from the end of the bed, placing his hands on his hips, showing her his broad chest in all its glory. “Jealous, Y/l/l?”

“Nope, she loves me a great deal.” Y/n reply, ogling his naked skin.

“Who doesn’t?” 

Matty’s delicately words took her out of her entrance. Y/n look up, founding he was staring at her with heart eyes.

“Stop! Our daughter is waiting!” A very blushed Y/n scolded him.

Matty threw his head back, slightly annoyed she was resisting his affection. He left the room. Y/n heard –thanks to the caller– his happy greeting to Amelia, and the reply to it. The conversation was full of ‘baby’ and ‘daddy/dada’. Y/n smiled, content with her family. She was for sure going to miss him, although she was sure they could manage.

“Look who’s here!” Matty made his appearance with Amelia, still in her PJ’s, in his arms. 

Amelia grew excited when her soft brown eyes fell on Y/n. “Mommy!”

“Good morning, my mel-mel” Y/n waved from her place on the bed. “Come to mommy!” She lifted her arms, asking for her. 

Matty left Amelia on the bed, so she could crawl towards Y/n. He stood at the end of it, looking at his girl's greet. 

“Who’s going to see daddy sing today?” Y/n looked at the girl in her embrace, while Amelia nestle on her chest. 

Matty complained once more, “Stop saying-”

“I made you a DILF, I have the right to call you ‘daddy’.” Y/n shut him up.

“Touché.” 

“Dada...” Amelia interrupted her parents bickering, calling for him to be close. 

Matty returned to his place on his bed, at the other side of Amelia. The little girl following every single one of his movements. Daddy was indeed her favourite person in the world.

“Hello baby, did you sleep well? Nice dreams?” Matty bumped her nose. He loved to interact with her sweet girl. 

“Yes.” Amelia answered, showing him his cute smile. 

“About daddy?”

She laughed, blushing, hiding her face on Y/n’s chest. Matty felt a sore feeling inside his heart. Amelia was growing too fast for his liking. He looked at Y/n admitting, “I don’t want her to keep growing.”

Y/n nodded in agreement. “Right?”

“I miss the days she was this little,” Matty measured in the air the size of Amelia during her first few weeks. “Resting on my chest. Those first months went by so fast…” Matty felt rather nostalgic that morning, looking at her daughter. He tried not to think of how much he was going to miss her. 

“Yeah.” Y/n agreed, staring at Amelia play with her bracelets. 

Matty’s questions took her by surprise, “Have you ever thought about having more kids?”

“Have you…?” Y/n arched her eyebrow. Was he proposing…?

Matty blushed, he had though about it, “Mhm, multiple times.” 

“Matty-” 

“I’m not-”

“Okay.” Y/n breathed again with relief. She didn’t know if she was ready for all of it again, she wasn’t sure she wanted more kids. 

“I just think it would be amazing to grow the family, Amelia can have a sibling to play with… It’s nice to imagine another baby.” Matty talked with his mind replaying the scenarios he thought about so many times, specially during the last month. 

“A boy or another girl?”

“I don’t care, I would be over the moon with either…imagine a little boy running around, following Amelia. He would impatiently wait to play with her…being so small, still expecting for his big sister to like him, to include him in her imaginary games. Same with another girl.”

“That’s so sweet, Matty.” Y/n reached out to touch his hair. He could be so tender and adorable when he wanted.

“Would you like to be a big sister?” Matty included Amelia back into the conversation. 

“Daddy!”

“She wouldn’t be happy with daddy’s attention elsewhere.” Y/n teased him. 

“I bet…”

Matty was too embarrassed about bringing the subject, he decided to change the course of the conversation. “Okay, who wants breakfast?”

“Me!” Amelia stood up on the bed, Y/n rest her hands at both sides of her chest, preventing her from falling. 

“Let’s go!” Matty took her in his embrace, lifting her little body into the air. The singer started to make sounds of flying, manoeuvring her body —carefully— around. Amelia giggles filled the entire house.

*******************************************

Y/n was brewing tea for her and Matty, meanwhile him and Amelia talk on the big table. He had been, from a time being, trying to teach her sounds and words. 

“What sound does a cow make?” Matty tested her knowledge.

“Muuu!” Amelia repeated what she had learned before.  

He rewarded her with a big kiss on her cheek. “Well-done baby!” Matty screamed. 

“And a dog?”

“Guff, guff!”

“That’s right, mel!” He clapped this time, trying to encourage her.

“Amelia Healy, you’re so smart!” 

“She’s your daughter, Healy….of course she’s a smart kid.” Y/n told him, bringing the full cups to the table. 

“I thought she got the looks from me.” He teased Y/n. 

Y/n couldn’t deny it.“Yes, that too!”

“Baby-” Matty felt his cheeks blushing with her compliments.

Y/n took a bite of her breakfast, continuing with her praising, “Handsome and smart.”

“Stop!”

“Oh, shush!” 

Y/n’s face changed instantly, “Fuck…” She whipped her hands fast. 

“What?” Matty panicked.

Although, Y/n was out of sight in seconds; leaving a confused Matty seated beside Amelia. 

He looked at her daughter, “Do you know something about it?” The singer asked her. Amelia lift her hands in a signal of not knowing. Matty chuckled. 

Y/n appeared, after a few minutes of confusion, through the laundry’s room door with a big bouquet hiding her face. 

Matty got quite emotional about it. “Baby…”

“For you…from us.” Y/n extended the bouquet of marigold’s for him to grab. “Mel picked them.” Y/n shared with him.

Amelia was looking at the flowers, so Matty inquired her, “Have you, missy?”

“Yes!” She replied. 

“Thank you, mel-mel!” He left a kiss on her rosy cheeks. “This is so thoughtful…” Matty admired the bunch on his hands. 

Y/n brushed her hair back, without looking at him, expression her idea, “We thought it was a good idea to wish you good luck for today.”

Matty stared at her, completely in love with the girl in front of him. He felt the urge to say it but stopped. “Thank you, baby!” He whispered instead. 

His phone vibrate with a message from George, distracting the man for a second. He had to leave now to make it on time for everything they had planned.  

“Shit, I’ve to go now…” Matty felt awful to break the sweet bubbled they had been in for the last hour. Reality was knocking on their door. 

Y/n felt her body deflated. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you two tonight, right?” Matty examinated her features, he wanted to find something to say or do to cheer her up at least a little.

“Yes, babe. We’re going to be there…cheering for daddy, right, Mel?” Y/n forced herself to appear more happy than she felt. Matty needed to focus on the show and no on her, as she well knew he would do if Y/n let him really see she wasn't happy with him leaving the house.

“Yes!” Amelia clapped from her high sit. 

“Perfect.” Matty said, leaving a kiss at the top of Amelia’s head. Rounding the table, he came face to face with Amelia's mother. 

He lowered his face, closer to hers. Y/n still felt nervous to show that type of affection around Amelia, she didn’t want to confuse her. 

“Matt-”

“I need it, please.” Matty begged, lowering the bouquet on the table. 

Y/n checked Amelia. She was playing with her food, messing with it and not giving attention to his parents. 

Matty waited for Y/n. She looked at his welcoming eyes, saying, “Sir-”

“I can beg.” He reminded Y/n, half serious, half not. 

Y/n brushed his hair out of Matty’s forehead. “I know that.” 

“Baby- my baby…”

“Mmm…” Y/n faked not being affected by his pleading tone. 

“Please, please, please!” Matty touched the exposed sides of her thighs, feeling her skin. 

Y/n couldn’t keep it for longer, “Fine.”

Matty pushed his face forward, connecting his lips with hers. Her mouth tasted like her breakfast and tea. He let his tongue intrude a little. Matty thought since they would be hours apart, he needed to give her a strong kiss, one that had her –and him too– satisfied enough for the time being. 

Amelia broke the moment, blasting her hands on the little board making a table for her. 

Matty detached himself from Y/n, looking at his daughter. He asked her, “You want kisses too?” 

“Up.” She made grabby hands. 

Matty took her on his embrace. “I love you.” He told her, staring at her little face. 

Amelia rested her head on his shoulder, trying to repeat his words, “Ove you.” Which make Matty’s heart melt.

“Okay, gotta run now.” He started to say his goodbyes, passing Amelia to Y/n. “Put the flowers in a vase for me, please.”

“I will…bye.” Y/n said, feeling his kiss on the crown of her head. 

Matty turned around, leaving Amelia and her mother in the kitchen. “I love you.” He exclaimed once more, without turning around, expecting to hear Amelia’s voice again.

Amelia waved from her place, “Ove you!” Y/n couldn’t resist kissing her fluffy cheeks. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later… Backstage at the arena.

“Where’s the princess of the house?” Denise shouted from the end of the arena’s hall. Amelia let go of her mother's hand and ran towards Matty’s mother. 

The little girl shouted when her grandmother lifted her up, kissing her cheeks –it was kind of an addiction the entire family had, because Amelia owned the cutest cheeks–, which makes the toddler laugh. 

“You look gorgeous, Amelia Healy!” Denise pointed to the flower dress, on top of a white shirt and black shiny shoes Matty’s child had on. “Mommy really dressed you up for the occasion!” 

“Mommy…” Amelia turned inside Denise hold, looking around for her mother. 

Y/n approached the pair, smiling. It was always a sweet sight to look at them together. 

“Hello, darling.” Denise chanted, when Y/n was close.

“Hi.” Y/n said, with her voice shaking. She couldn’t suppress the nerves, Y/n knew how hard they had been working for months on to deliver the show of the fan’s dreams.

“How are you?” Denise brought her closer with an arm, a side hug.

Y/n shook her hands, anxiously, spitting out a strangled, “Nervous.”

“Are you playing?” Matty’s mother tried to cheer Y/n a little. She was nervous as well but trusted them, and had seen the boys enough times do it to let the feeling overtook her. Although she empathized with Y/n. 

Y/n snorted. “I don’t think fans would be fond of hearing me sing!”

“I bet they would…you’re mini Matty’s version mom after all…” Denise told her.

“Just to mock me.”

“They adore you!”

“Yeah, some of them…which it’s surreal.”

“Nana!” Amelia blurbed out, gaining her attention again, interrupting the adult’s chat. 

“Yes, honey?” Denise inquired her with her soft –grandmotherly like– voice.

Amelia directly asked, “Daddy?” 

“She can’t stop asking for him.” Y/n warned Denise.

“I don’t know, sweetie.” Amelia’s grandmother told her truthfully.

“Daddy is rehearsing, remember?” Y/n said once more for Amelia’s information. She had been repeating it since they got there, even though Matty’s child wasn’t having it; she wanted daddy and no one else.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy!” She repeated, still in Denise embrace. 

Y/n felt bad for her, she shared the feeling with her own daughter. Y/n was dying to see Matty, the difference was she was old enough to understand and wait a bit longer. “I know, I know…” Y/n ran her hand through her curls, she had let them be at its natural state. “You’ll see him in a bit, okay?” She promised.

“How is he?” Denise asked Y/n.

They haven't seen the boys or even Matty, they arrived just after they went to do the last few checks. Y/n shared it with Denise, “We came in just when they left to sound check and I didn’t want to distract them, more like Amelia distracting them.” 

“That’s smart. You’re a show girl like dad, all the attention on you!” Denise tried to ease Amelia’s state. The little girl was looking around, expecting for his father to appear in front of her.

“She totally is.” Y/n admitted, proudly.

When all of a sudden, voices came from the other end of the hall. They weren’t at sight to see; although Y/n and Denise shared a knowing look, happy for Amelia specially.

“Where’s my favourite god-daughter?” George’s shouted when his sight fell on Denise holding Matty’s child.

“You only have one, idiot.” Matty hit him playfully on his arm.

“Org, org!” Amelia boobed up and down, excited to see them.

Once they were close enough, George stole her from Denise’s arms, wrapping Amelia with his owns. Matty stood closer to Y/n, touching the small of her back, making her feel calmer now he was close. 

“Hi, beautiful!” G tickled her. “I missed you!” He went to kiss her cheeks, making the little girl blush. 

“You haven’t seen her in two days…” Matty scoffed, rolling his eyes. Meanwhile, he drew circles on Y/n’s back. She was gone, letting herself enjoy his touch, until her sight fell on Denise’s face, who smiled at them. Y/n felt a little uncomfortable, but she would expose them if she moved aside. So, she chose to stay still.

“Daddy!” Matty’s face brightened, looking at Amelia calling him.

“Is this gorgeous lady asking for me?” Matty took her from G’s arms, gaining a protest from his bandmate. George’s attention changed, going to say hello to Denise and started chatting.

Matty shut him up with a singe look, after he returned all his attention to Amelia. “You look so pretty!” He complimented her, admiring her outfit, on the same vibe as he had planned for his own for the show. “She looks perfect.” Matty turned to look at Y/n.

“She looks dashing.” Denise said, instead interrupting her talking and preventing any response from Y/N. Matty looked at his own mother. “Aren’t you going to greet your mother, Matthew?” She teased him.

“Hi, mom.” He went to kiss her cheek, with Amelia resting her head on his shoulder.

Y/n focused her own sight on George standing at the other side. “Am I invisible to you, Daniels?” Y/n exclaimed, arching her eyebrow to him.

George dramatically let his tall body hang a little, comically going to engulf Y/n in a big hug. “Thought I was imagining you being here!” He joked, talking at the top of Y/n’s head.

“Ha, ha…so funny.” Y/n’s voice coming muffled by George’s chest.

“Let her breath, George.” Matty whined from her side.

George let her go, resting his right arm on top of Y/n’s shoulders. “Jealous man talking…”

“How was sound check?” Y/n freshly cut the bickering.

“Everything is ready to go.” G said excited.

Y/n looked up at him, “That’s cool. Charli is coming, right?” She asked.

“Yeah! She’s looking forward to seeing you and Ames.”

“Me too! I haven’t-” Y/n started to talk, when someone from the crew shouted.

“Matty!” Mark –the security guard– made himself visible for them; the whole group turning around to look at him. “There is a girl at the gate, asking for you.” Mark addressed Matty directly.

“I’m not expecting anyone else, must be a fan.” The frontman tried to brush it off.

Mark insisted, “She’s not…she’s on the list.”

“Fuck…can you take Amelia for a second?” Matty looked at Y/n. 

She took their daughter, “Yes.” Y/n’s heart start to pound in her chest, what was going on?

“I’ll be right back.” Matty asked for her, and her only.

*************************************************************

Backstage room. 

(30 minutes for the show…)

“Daddy!” Amelia was the first one to spot him, leaving Hann’s children playing alone. Matty didn’t come in alone. A girl was by his side. 

When her sight fall upon them, Y/n felt her stomach sank down. Matty glanced at Y/n first, but her sight quickly changed to the floor.

Amelia collided with his legs, forcing him to pay attention to her, “Hey, baby.” Matty lift her up. “This one is Amelia, my daughter.” He introduced her to Amelia, returning his eyes to Y/n’s form sitting on the big couch, not really listening to Carly’s story.

Y/n was in fact listening every word Matty was speaking, the rest of the sounds didn’t reach her ears. She couldn’t quite place what was happening, but she didn’t like it.

“Hi, sweetie.” The voice of the girl made Y/n want to puke. She was young and pretty, she sounded innocent almost. 

Amelia hid her face on Matty’s neck. “She’s shy with new people.”

“It’s fine.” The girl didn’t push, understanding, caring. 

Y/n tried to focus on Carly speaking, she needed to focus on anything else than the new girl. Who is she? What is she doing there? 

Realization hit her, Y/n remembered her. 

The girl standing closer to Matty was the same one she saw pictures early on when he returned from New York. She was the same one walking along his side. Her heart broke. He invited that girl to the first show. Had he been in contact for that long? She needed air. 

Pushed up from her sit, excusing herself with Carly. Y/n tried to make her way to the door. Bathroom was the destination. “Y/n?” Matty asked, worried before her sudden movements.

“Yeah?” She turned around. The pictured before her brought tears to her eyes. Matty, with Amelia in his arms, and the girl. They looked like one of those pictures of happy families. The air was lacking around her. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, Matty. I need to go to the bathroom. Watch Amelia for me, please.” Y/n rushed her words, wanting to leave immediately. Without more interactions or even acknowledging the pretty girl, she was out.

Once inside the bathroom, after the heavy door closed -leaving the noises at the other side-, Y/n focused on her heart pounding. She tried to breathe deeply, but the anxiety was creeping everywhere around her body. The sight of the girl entering the room with Matty came back to the front of her mind, tears strained her eyes.

Y/n tried hard to contain them. She didn’t want to mess up her makeup. The least she wanted was to look like a raccoon around that porcelain skin girl. This is not about her, Y/n thought. Her problem was with Matty.

He lied, and she believed him. ‘What about the past month and a half? All those nights together…only mean something to her? Hasn’t he felt that? Course not’, Y/n mind spiralled around.

Y/n placed her hands on the marble around the sink. She didn’t want to look at herself, at her own eyes speaking all the truth. Y/n swallowed a cry trying to break through. She needed to pull herself together and go back out; make as if anything was going on inside her mind, her heart, and continue to pretend to be his friend. 

A knock distracted her.

“Y/n.” She heard Matty calling her.

“No!” She went for the door, but it was late. He was inside.

Matty took her state in, her body deflating. He exclaimed a quiet, “Baby…”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Y/n took some steps backwards, breaking his heart. 

“Y/n?” He asked, expecting. 

“Please, leave me alone.” She coldly responded.

“Y/n-” He protested.

Y/n shook her head from side to side, without looking at him. “Matty, I-”

“Sweetheart-” Matty came closer, he went to touch her face, Y/n sensed it. She made the space between them even bigger. Matty’s heart stopping for a second. “It’s not-”

Y/n lift her hand, stopping him. “Don’t tell me it’s not what I think it is…I have eyes. I don’t understand.” She was trying really hard to not cry. 

“There’s nothing to understand, baby!” Matty desperately tried.

“Don’t call me baby! No when she’s in the other room-” Y/n bit her lips.

“This is not– She’s not–” Matty didn’t know how to explain everything, how to repair the damage he did. He wanted to push her closer, he needed Y/n. Matty felt hopeless and terrified.

“I knew it was too good to be true.” Y/n stated, regaining her coldness. 

Matty felt weak on the knees, “Y/n, please listen to me! This is a mis-” He begged.

“So you can lie to me again? I’m naive, no stupid.” Y/n spat. “I need to go and check on Amelia.” She told him, starting to walk towards the door.

“Amelia is with my mom. She’s okay. Y/n don’t go.” Matty took her wrist. Y/n look at his fingers, and back at his eyes when he started talking. “I invited her way back, wasn’t expecting her to actually show up. She doesn’t mean anything!” He screamed. Matty felt like his words weren’t reaching her. Panic was filling his body, he couldn’t lose her.

“I don’t care, Matty. Let me go.” Y/n said strangely calmed.

“I can’t let you go….how could I?” Matty felt his eyes watering. “No when I’ve just got you back…” Matty spoke softly, loosing strength.

“Don’t-” Y/n protested. “Just stop. Let me go.” She insisted.

“Y/n-”

Someone knocked on the bathroom door behind them. Matty felt rage overtaking him.

“What?!” He shouted, still holding Y/n.

“Matty, are you there?” The stage manager asked. 

Matty breathed in, trying to calm down, he asked, “Yes, what?”

“5 minutes!” The person informed him.

“Fuck!” He swore under his breath.

“I’ll get Mel…” Y/n took her hand out of his embrace.

Matty went to touch her again, screaming, “Y/n!” but she was gone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He started screaming without caring who could hear him.

****************************************************************************************

Y/n walked all the way to the part of the arena where the seats for the family members of the guys were. After returning to the backstage room, the guys informed her everyone already left since they had to get on stage. George tried to talk to her, but she escaped, she didn’t want to face Matty again.

She showed her pass to the guards, spotting Denise with Amelia on her arms. The girl was there too. Y/n swore inside. 

Y/n didn’t have anything against her –as the same happened with Meredith a month ago– her problem was with the guy of the story.

“Hi, love.” Denise greeted her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Denise insisted, preoccupied looking at her face.

“Yes, I’m okay. Thanks for asking.”

Y/n was trying to keep herself together, expecting the moment to be inside the security of her house to let every emotion out. She was going to use everything inside her to succeed. 

“The show’s about to start.” The girl informed them. Denise looked at both girls, she was paying close attention when Matty’s guest came in and when Y/n stormed out merely seconds after. “Daisy, this is Y/n… Amelia’s mother.” Denise started to make the introductions. 

“Hi, nice to meet you.” The girl extended her arm to offer her hand. 

“Y/n, this is Daisy, Matty’s...guest.” Denise concluded.

Y/n wanted to turn around and run until she reached home. “Hello.” She shortly answered, shaking her hand in return for half a second. 

The lights going off interrupted the awkward moment between them. Y/n thanked the universe for it. 

“Mommy!” Amelia, scared, searched for her mother in the darkness. 

“Come here, baby.” Y/n took her from Denise’s arms. “It’s okay, you don’t need to worry! Everything is going to be okay.” She tried to calm her daughter. 

Amelia hid her little face on Y/n’s neck. “Daddy?” She asked, making Y/n breathing stopped. 

“He’s going to appear there…” Y/n pointed towards the stage. “Tell me when you see him, okay?” Y/n was drawing strength from every part of herself. She wanted Amelia to enjoy the show, enjoy seeing her dad perform for the first time, even she was dreading the experience.

Y/n felt Daisy’s sight on her while cooing Amelia. She didn’t care what the girl was thinking about her, her child, or about herself and Matty. She was going to focus on Amelia and only her. 

The lights come back on, Matty make his way to be in front of the microphone place in the middle of the stage. 

“Daddy! Mommy,” Amelia screamed, looking at Y/n. “Daddy!” She pointed at him.

“I know, baby, I know.” Y/n smiled at her excitement. 

“That’s your dad, Mel!” Denise joined the cheers, silence by the millions of people screaming around them. Y/n arranged the noise-cancelling headphones around Amelia’s head. 

The show was going smoothly as planned, even though Matty was barely interacting with the audience. 

When the break for the rest of the band was supposed to happened, Matty took the microphone, shielding his eyes from the lights. 

“There’s someone special here tonight…” He started to speak, still looking on the left side of the stage. People cheered for him, screaming a lot of different things. “I don’t remember the exact place, but-” He rambled. “My little girl is here!” Matty screamed proud. 

The lights around the arena came back on, so he could see better around. Although, Matty wasn’t having it.

“Turn the lights off again!” He demanded. “Please, put your phones aside…” He asked rather politely. “My daughter is watching me and the rest of the band…” Matty made a signal like that last part didn’t matter, making everyone –included Y/n– laugh. “For the first time…” He started walking around the stage, looking down at the floor.  “She’s here, with my mom and her own mother-” The mere mention of her broke Y/n’s heart a little more. “So, as you can see, this is a very special night for me.” 

People started screaming, and proceed to chant Amelia’s name. The girl didn’t understand at first, but when she recognized her name, she started clapping. Y/n joined the mass of people. 

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Matty spoke, bringing his free hand to his heart, looking at the fans. “Back to me now…” The crowd laughed again. “This night is special. There are some things I wish were different, but life is-” Matty stopped his sentence suddenly. “I don’t know.” He finished without making too much sense. 

The rest of the band returned to the stage, Matty stared at them for a second without speaking. “Right, we’re going to play one of Amelia’s favourite songs…which obviously-” He smugly exclaimed. “It’s one written by daddy.” He gained a new round of screams from the crowd. “I hope you like it, baby. I love you!” Matty closed the moment. Y/n felt tears coming down her cheeks, which she dried quickly, so Amelia didn’t notice. 

The first chord of ‘Sincerity is Scary’ started playing around the big venue. Amelia started screaming with excitement filling her little body. Maybe she wouldn’t remember the day, but the happiness was going to be storage on her mind for sure. 

Y/n left the little girl on the floor, so she can dance and to rest her arms for a minute. Denise started singing, which made Amelia look at her grandmother. She grew interested and went to dance with her. 

Amelia’s mother focused on Matty performing. He was dancing around, even though his sight was somehow gone. Y/n shook her head, returning her sight to her daughter. She was dancing happily with Daisy.

Her heart sunk a little inside her chest. Daisy was nice with Amelia, she was tender, which made Y/n felt worse. She wanted to hate her, but it wasn’t possible. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost midnight, home.

After the concert was done, Amelia had fallen asleep in Y/n's embrace. It was long past her bedtime hour. Y/n felt bad to used it as an excuse to rapidly made her way out of the arena and with the clear idea to return home.

She let her breath out after closing the front door. Tears came to her eyes. It wasn’t on her plans to return home so soon, she would have wanted to celebrate with the guys, with Matty. Thinking about him made her entire body hurt. The memory of him arriving with Daisy still fresh.

Y/n made her way up, to tuck Amelia in her crib. Y/n looked at her own room, and then at Matty’s. She was going back to hers. Another realization sinking in. 

After changing Amelia, she didn’t even have to rock her back to sleep, the girl was so tired she didn’t bother to wake up even when her mother changed her clothes. 

Y/n barely arrived in the kitchen area, when her phone started going off.

“Y/n, thank god! Where are you?” Matty screamed at the other side of the line when Y/n pressed the phone to her ear.

Y/n was still in enough shock to keep her cold front. “Home.”

“Fuck, Y/n! You scared the shit out of me!” Y/n felt bad to made him worried. She felt bad to wanting to give back some of what she felt during the night. 

She explained, “I’d told your mom to tell you. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“Bab-” Matty started to say, but hearing Daisy talk at the other end of the line made Y/n to start feeling angry. The reminder she didn’t meant anything to him. 

Y/n cut him, saying, “Amelia is fine, Matty. I’m sorry. Go to your after party-” 

He interrupted her this time, “Fuck, no, I’m not going to that…we need to talk! I have to finish here, and then-” Matty tried again for Y/n to listen. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, Matty. Not now.” Y/n stopped him.

Matty felt panic again. “Y/n…” He begged. 

“I’m going to bed, to my bed.” Y/n informed him; her voice breaking at the end. “Good night, congratulations!” She choked on her words. 

Before Matty couldn’t add a single sound, Y/n hang up the phone and fell forward on the kitchen island, crying her heart out.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

One hour later…

Matty claimed up the stairs, jumping between steps to reach the first floor quicker. He needed to see Y/n, they had to talk. He couldn’t give up without fighting for them.

The house was under a complete silence. Most of the lights gone. Y/n previously informed him Amelia was sleeping. He tried to hurry without making too many noises. 

When he took the last step, finally arriving at the top of the stairs, his heart sank. Y/n’s door was once more closed. A soft glow of light coming from underneath it. Matty moved forward. He pressed his ear to the door, taking the handle without twisting it. 

Y/n was scrolling through some social media, the noise was clear for him. He knocked and all the sounds were gone. 

“Y/n…”

Inside the room, Y/n stared at the close door. He was at the other side, he came home and didn’t go to the party. 

“Baby…” The nickname brought tears to her hurtful eyes. She wanted so much to run to his arms, although she prevented herself from doing exactly that. She stayed placed on her bed, on those foreign surroundings. 

“I know you’re up. I need- We need to talk, please.” Matty tried time again. Y/n felt her tears failing on the comforter. 

She pushed herself up, walking until her feet meet middle ground between the door and her bed. “Go to sleep, Matty.” She whispered loud enough for him to hear. 

“I can’t sleep if we don’t solve this…” 

“Don’t-”

“Y/n.” Matty felt he was running out of resources.  

“Go away.” 

She returned to her bed. Matty decided to give her space, even with his heart broken. He walked all the way to his room with his heart on his hand, ripped. 

Y/n muffled the sound of her sobbing on her hand when she heard his steps walking away. 

Matty pushed his room door open, expecting to magically see Y/n there. Reality was a hard pillow to swallow. His bed felt strange, foreign, unfamiliar without her; he didn’t want to try to get in. 

He moved closer to it, reaching for his pillow, and stopped in the middle of the same action. He leaned forward, reaching for the pillow Y/n used all those weeks sleeping with him. Matty brought it downstairs with him.

Matty was adamant to keep fighting. He felt asleep, after twisting around on the couch, thinking this was only a big misunderstanding. He could fix it, they were going to solve this and returned right back to normality. 

Repeating history two times wasn’t a possibility, Matty reassured himself. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matty left early in the morning only because Jaime called him with an emergency about the tour. He wanted to stay. With a last look-up to the stairs, he left the house.

Y/n felt a wave of ease when she went to wake up Amelia and figured out Matty wasn’t in his room. The door was open, and the bed was already made. She didn’t think he hadn’t slept there. 

Her heart shrank when she saw her pillow on the couch but chose to ignore it as best as she could. 

*******************************************

The morning was slow, Amelia was playing with her favourite toys around the kitchen and living room making a big mess Y/n didn’t mind. She didn’t have the time or energy to check her phone up to that point. Y/n felt light-headed looking at her notifications. 

“Y/n Y/l/l (Matty Healy’s ex) looking cosy with new secret boyfriend”

“Who’s the boy dinning with Y/n Y/l/l?, the fans of the 1975’s lead singer are wondering.”

Y/n made the big mistake to open Instagram, a waterfall of the same blurry picture of her and Paul having dinner that first date bombarded her eyes. The comments under were beyond nasty. 

Fanx1: Isn’t she supposed to be taking care of Amelia?

Possionmedaddy123: Matty deserves better!

75fan: Fucking hell, she’s ugly!

Personx: Whore.

Marrymematty: Bitch!

Fanxx75: Who’s the guy? Someone knows about him?

And worse. 

Y/n with shaky hands called Grace. 

“Hi, I was about to-” Grace picked the phone right away.

Y/n interrupted her, begging, “Please tell me you can come here.”

“Yes, yes…I was going to. This is madness!” Grace told Y/n. She must have seen the articles and comments as well. 

“I can’t-”

“Babe, breathe!” Grace instructed from the other side of the line.

Y/n tried to breathe deeply, but it was getting harder to breathe normally. “This is too much…”

“Y/n! Stay alive until I get to your house, please!” Grace implored, scared for her friend’s panic moment. 

“Hurry.” Y/n said, cutting the line. 

**********

“Hi, sweetie.” Grace appeared quarter of an hour later.

Amelia brighten when she saw her godmother. “Ace!”

Y/n sat close to her kid. She was trying to distract herself and giving Amelia some attention at the same time. Her mind was racing with too many thoughts about Paul, Daisy, and Matty all together. 

“I don’t understand from where all of this came from…” Y/n started the conversation with Grace.

The friend asked, leaving her coat on a chair,  “You think Paul could've done this?”

“I don’t even know…” Y/n admitted.

Grace continued to think out loud. “It’s been more than a month.”

“I know, this people are horrible!” Y/n remembered all the articles she had been to read with her name on. 

“What Matty said about it?” Grace asked without knowing about the events from the night before.

Y/n feared the moment to share it with her best friend. Specially because she knew she was going to finally took account of what happened and her hurt feelings.

“Matty’s calling you.” Grace said this time, looking at her phone left on the table. She went to answer, but Y/n screamed.

“Don’t answer!”

“What?” Grace stared at her like she suddenly transformed into an alien. 

Y/n shortly told Grace, “It’s long to explain.”

The sound of her phone going off was getting to her nerves. 

“Then do it.”

“I’m going to loss it if I add that to the mix…” Y/n spoke her mind out loud. 

Grace grew impatient. “Y/n, tell me.”

“Fuck.”

The device’s sound ceasing. Matty had cut the line. 

“He invited another girl to the concert.”

“And?” Grace grew confused with every part of the conversation. 

“The same girl he had been seen walking around New York with, people said they were together and-” Y/n bursted into tears. 

“Oh, honey.” Grace approached Y/n on the floor, hugging her. 

Y/n was thankful that Amelia paid no attention to her and Grace.

“He never mean it, Grace.” She said, between tears. “I was just another hookup for him…”

“He told you that? I’m going to rip his ratty-” Grace’s promise wasn’t in vain. 

Y/n cut her, “No, he didn’t…we barely talked, but what should I think if not?” Y/n turned around to look at Grace’s face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.” Grace expressed from the bottom of her heart. It wasn’t fair to Y/n all the things that were happening. 

Y/n tried to give her the reason about her warnings a month ago, “I should’ve listened to you…”

“No, no…don’t do that to yourself.” Grace made Y/n’s body shake, trying to lose the guilt. 

Grace’s phone going off startled them. Matty was calling Grace now.

“He’s calling me, Y/n.” Grace informed her friend, staring at the screen. 

“Fuck.”

Grace wasn’t sure what to do. “I-”

“Don’t answer.” Y/n repeat her position about answering his call.

“Y/n-”

“Grace!”

They found themselves into an eye battle. Grace felt she had to answer, Y/n didn’t want her to do it. Y/n launched herself for the phone, even though Grace was quicker and ran to the back patio. Amelia called for her, blocking Y/n to go after Grace.

“Hi, Matty.” Grace greeted him, closing the backdoor. 

Matty’s voice was quavering, unsure, when he asked,  “Please tell me you’re with Y/n.”

“I am…”

“Tell her to answer me.” Matty commanded Grace. 

She tried to keep her calm, “She’s not…ready…to talk.”

“Grace, I swear-”

Matty’s tone rubbed her off. “I’m trying to do my best to not send you to fuck yourself, for everything. I’m trying only for her, so don’t push my buttons, Healy!” She warned him.

“She’s not talking to me. I need to talk to her.” Matty was desperate up to that point.

“Matty-”

“Grace, I’m begging you!”

“Matthew…”

“I swear it’s not what’s look like…” Matty tried to play that card. If Y/n wasn’t going to talk to him, at least if Grace knew, he was sure Y/n was going to get the information. 

Grace scoffed. “Paul said the same to her…”

“Don’t compare me with him.” 

“I’m stating facts, Healy.”

“Yeah, your cousin is a wanker. I’d never do that to her, never.”

“Then what happened yesterday?” Grace asked, annoyed. 

“I’m not with Daisy, I had never been. Grace, please put Y/n on the phone.”

“You’re in no place to demand, Matty. If you’re worried about her, don’t. I’m here, I’m staying as long as she needs. Let her breath for a minute, okay?” Grace requested this time.

“Fuck, you’re asking a lot, Grace.”

“I’m not. Do it, for her and Amelia.” Grace said and proceed to hang up the line. 

*******************

Mother and daughter changed scenery since Amelia wanted to watch a movie. 

“What did he say?” Y/n interrogated Grace immediately when she returned.

“He wants to talk with you, girl.”

“I’m not sure if I can face him or that conversation.”

Grace went to sit down. “Mhm.”

“This is all so confusing!” Y/n shielded her eyes, without wanting to cry. 

“Yeah.”

Grace wasn’t sure if talking was doing any good for Y/n, instead she kept her silence watching Tangled with Amelia and Y/n. 

After a few minutes of peace, Y/n’s phone started going off with notifications. She opened the first one, with shaky hands. A new video of the girl and Matty walking side to side after the concert. 

Y/n silenced a sob behind her hand, and looked at Grace. 

“What now?” Grace half screamed.

Y/n turned the device around, showing her. Tears were stringing her eyes. 

“Oh, babes…” Grace left the phone aside, hugging Y/n. “Let it out, I’m here.”

*****************

After Amelia went to have her nap, Grace spoke what she was roaming around inside her mind. 

“I think I should take Mel to my flat again…” she suggested.

“Yeah, maybe it’s for the better.” 

“You should come too, Y/n.” Grace advised Y/n.

Y/n rational side talked for her, “No, I- Amelia can’t see me like this, and if Matty comes, and we start fighting or whatever…No, I need to protect her.”

“You need to take care of yourself, Y/n. Being here is not helping…”

Y/n didn’t want to leave the safety of her house, even when Matty was going to be back in a few hours. “I’ll stay in my room.”

“Okay, I’m not happy with this, but you do you.”

“Thank you, Grace. For everything…” Y/n took her hand. 

“Don’t mention it. I love you!”

“Me too, Gracie.” she let her head fell on her best friend's shoulder.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Dirty Hit’s office to home (non-stop).

Matty’s first instinct once he returned home was to search for Y/n. She wasn't in the kitchen, or living room, or laundry room. Nowhere around the low level. For a second time in less than 24 hours, he ran upstairs. 

He was sadly convinced she wasn’t going to be in his room, even though maybe she was in Amelia’s room or bathing their daughter. The house was spectrally under silence. Y/n is nowhere, neither Amelia. Matty felt a rush of panic. He took his phone out of his pocket, ready to call her if his last try didn’t work. 

“Y/n?” He knocked on her door.

Silence was the only replied from the other side. 

“Y/n, are you there? Are you okay?” Matty tried. 

Y/n decided to reply, “I’m fine, go away.” Relief wash over his muscles, at least she was at home. 

“Please let me in, I want to check you’re alright…”

Matty found out about the articles and all the videos, he knew very well the effect they had on Y/n. With this new situation between them, it was more than an urgency to speak with Y/n. 

At the other side of the door, Y/n wasn’t panicking or even crying. Her anger was boiling at slow tempo. She marched angrily towards the door, opening it with a sudden movement that Matty didn’t expect.

“I’m doing fucking amazing, don’t you see?” Y/n shouted.

“Baby-” 

It was the first time they saw each other since the fight in the bathroom, at the arena. His hands ache to hold her, to bring her closer. Y/n wanted to push his away, out of her sight. 

“Don’t call me that.” Y/n folded her arms.

“Y/n…”

“I don’t want to hear it, Matty.”

“I need to tell you.”

Y/n scoffed, turning around, far from him. “Exactly what? That all the past weeks, month were noth-” She stopped, choking on a sob. “Nothing for you.” Y/n rearranged herself, looking at Matty’s eyes with her own full of tears. 

Matty was taken aback from her sayings. “Nothing?” 

“You were with her meanwhile…” Y/n stated as a fact. 

“No!” Matty took a few steps forward into her room. “Of course not! Daisy and I- We never- It wasn’t like that between us. Y/n, we-”

“We what? Right, nothing…it meant the same as the other girls you fucked…” 

“Y/n, you know that’s not true!” Matty insisted on it. 

Y/n let him know, “I don’t know any more after yesterday!”

“Please, listen to me.” Matty continued making himself closer to her. “I would never do that to you, never.” He searched for her eyes, Y/n felt hypnotised by them. “You’re the mother of my baby, you’re my friend…” Y/n went to protest, but Matty stopped her. “You’re the love of my life, Y/n!” Matty finally admitted. 

Y/n felt shocked by it. “You don’t mean that, Matty.”

“I do, I fucking do. I loved you since the first moment I met you…” Matty felt brave enough to hold her face between his hands. “I was a fucking coward, I still am. Well, now I’m trying to fix that. I love you, Y/n. I’ve loved you since the start and never stopped.”

“Don’t say that…” Y/n couldn’t believe it, it was impossible for her. 

Matty felt more sure of himself. “It’s the truth.”

“Why you never said anything?” Y/n whined, losing herself into his eyes. 

“Because…the prospect of losing you, or you hating me- Can’t do, baby.”

“Matty-”

“I mean it.” He leaned forward. 

“I don’t know if I can do this- No right now…” Y/n closed her eyes. It was a lot for only one day. She was feeling quite overwhelmed.

 “Why not? I know you feel it too.” He was sure of it. 

“Matt-”

“Fuck, gorgeous…please.” Matty wasn’t going to stop begging if that was needed for her to returned with him.

“Stop, I need space to think!” Y/n took a step backwards, making his hands fell at his sides. 

“What there’s to think, Y/n? We love each other!”

“A lot there’s to think! Saying you love me doesn’t solve things magically, Matty. My phone is bombarded by your fans telling me how horrible of a mother I am, dating some random guy. Said guy that was fucking other girls while dating me, person I don’t want to hear about, but now I have to. My name is on a handful of articles. Amelia’s privacy, my privacy, it has been violated. Add to the mix the videos of you with that girl-” Y/n let her anger took over.

Matty started to explained about Daisy, “I walked her out of the venue…that was all-”

“Well, they say other stuff.” Y/n exposed what the articles were saying. She knew she shouldn’t believe them, but it was difficult not to sometimes. 

“Y/n, you know better than-”

“Do I? Matty, this is all very confusing…I need time.” Y/n begged. 

“I can give you time, space…everything, but don’t leave me.” Matty reached for her hands. 

“I think it is for the best, Matty. For now…”

“No.”

“Yes, we need to think about Amelia. We were okay when we stopped messing around-”

“We weren’t just-”

”Doesn’t matter now.” Y/n spat.

“It does!”

“Matty, be real.”

“I am!”

“What happens when you get bored of me, of being a…couple, ha? Where am I going to be left? Being just your friend again and the mother of your daughter? Think about Amelia…I don’t want us to mess up with her head.”

“Y/n-”

“What happens when you take onto fucking every single groupie again right where you left it?”

“I don’t want to get back to that, Y/n. Since you are in my life, I’m done with it….since we had Amelia here, I’m done with all that shit. I want the three of us…”

“And yet you kept doing it, Matty”

“You’re not being fair with me. Adam has a family-”

“Adam is Adam, you…are you, Matty.” Y/n bitter tone wounded Matty deeply.

“I would do anything to have you again.”

Y/n tilted her head.“When did you really have me, Matty? We were never…”

“Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it.”

“I’m sorry, Matty. I think it is for the better if I stay with Grace for the night…” Y/n concluded.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later…

Matty was closing his suitcase, which was placed on top of his bed; a place that stayed untouched for days. Matty had been sleeping on the couch or besides Amelia's crib. He was physically incapable of getting under his sheets. 

He looked around, feeling nostalgic already. Matty had to leave for tour in a couple of hours, before that, George was going to pick him up soon. He didn’t want to leave, not when Y/n and him were barely talking. Matty did his best to give her the space and time she needed, he was sure about his intentions and his past actions. If he had to, he would wait his entire life for her. He was sure she was going to return to be his, this time was different from before. Y/n loved him, he knew. That was what kept him going. Even though, leaving for two weeks was reaping his heart from his chest. 

Matty grew used to the routine of staying home, going to the studio and return to his girls. He was getting old, getting tired of all the hassle of touring. He loved the moment he was on stage, with the fans, but the rest was starting to bother him. Specially since Amelia and Y/n stayed at home. 

The sound of the front door closing, the soft chat of Amelia and Y/n –mostly the mother talking–, brought him back. He took the suitcase, carrying it in one hand while he started walking downstairs. 

Matty left the item close to the door, voices came from the kitchen now. He smiled hearing them interact. He walked slowly there. 

“Hey.” He made himself present. Y/n turned to look at him from the kitchen, closing the refrigerator slowly. 

“Hi.” She answered. 

Matty twisted his hands, anxiously, “George is picking me up in a couple of minutes…” he told Y/n.

“Mhm.” she expressed shortly.

“I’m going to say goodbye to Amelia.” Matty hesitated, wanting to say more, wanting to beg.

“Sure.”

He approached Amelia, interrupting her playtime. “Mel-mel?” He called her attention.

“Daddy!” the little girl said, running to hug him.

Matty rounded her, “Baby, daddy has to go now.” He tried to explain, she looked at him trying to understand. “Daddy is going to miss you so much, Mel.” Matty felt tears coming but fought them, he didn’t want to upset her.

Amelia noticed his change, “Daddy.” she hugged him tight, hiding herself inside his embrace. 

“I know, I know…I’ll see you soon, okay baby?” Matty rocked from side to side, trying to soothe her. 

“No.” she whined. Y/n’s heart breaking a few meters away from them.

“Yes, you’re going to have fun with mommy and aunty Grace.” Matty tried this time.

Amelia wasn’t having it, “Daddy.”

“It’s okay, we’re okay.” 

The doorbell rang, interrupting them. Y/n went to answered it. 

After a short chat, she informed, “Matt, George is outside.”

“I know.”

“Come on, she’ll be fine. I promise.” Y/n approached her daughter and Matty.

He stood up, taking Amelia with him. He turned around, coming closer to Y/n. She stood there, waiting for his actions. He took her cheek on his hand, caressing it. 

“Y/n-” he said, searching for her eyes. 

Y/n contained her tears. It wasn’t the moment. “Not now Matt-”

He rested his forehead on her. If they were going to talk, at least he needed to be close, to touch her after leaving the house. Maybe, like that, she would understand his feelings. 

“Please.” Matty couldn’t stop trying.

“Go and do your thing, Matty.” Y/n said, more sure of herself. “We’ll be here…waiting, and then we will talk, okay?” she promised. 

“Mhm.” Matty agreed, without moving a single muscle. 

Y/n instructed, “Go.”

Matty opened his eyes, looking at her from inches away. “I love you.” he openly expressed.

“Matty.” Y/n softly complained.

“You don’t have to say it, I need to say it.” she nodded.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Matty spoke, and turned to kiss Amelia’s head. “Bye, baby.” He proceeded to pass Amelia to Y/n.

“Daddy, no-” she struggled, reaching for the comfort of Matty’s body. His heart breaking in pieces with the idea of hurting Amelia.

Y/n lulled her, “Shh, baby…it’s okay, mommy is here.” 

Matty walked away, not turning around. If he took one more look at Amelia and Y/n we would refuse to leave the house.

The front door closing down resounded around the house. Amelia started crying harder, Y/n couldn’t contain her tears and joined her. 

“Daddy!” Amelia tried to call him back.

Matty was gone. 

[kindestofkings]

when i meet the band they ask, "do you have a man?" i can still say, "i don't remember"

matty healy x reader

face claim: amelia dimoldenberg

childhood friends, reader and matty healy have been the ultimate power couple, with his success with the 1975 and her increasingly popular online series. unfortunately, things don't always stay perfect forever...

authors note: this took me FOREVER but she's my baby and I hope you enjoy!! Absolutely no hate to gabrietta shes seems really cool, but i needed the drama lol

yourusername and chickenshopdate

liked by trumanblack and others

chickenshopdate when will they get it!! my quest for love is still ongoing. TWO more dates lined up for this season, lets hope I don't get ghosted xx

view all 290 comments

yourusername mwhahah you guys are gonna love them!!

1975fan1 oh my god please please have matty on we've been so patient 1975fan2 fr i need to see more of my parasocial parents yourusername dont think I know a matty ?? is he the one who sings about chocolate?

trumanblack well fit xx

yourusername stranger danger !! 1975fan2 hahah you'd swear they haven't been dating for like 5 years 1975fan3 AND friends for like 7 years before that

yourusername and chickenshopdate

liked by charli_xcx and others

chickenshopdate No crashing here, just crushing. 😏 My date with @charli_xcx is out on Friday!💕

view all 200 comments

fan1 holy shit this is my roman empire

yourusername watch out @bedfordanes75 imma bout to steal your girl xxx

bedfordanes75 two can play at that game hun xx charli_xcx guys please theres enough of me to go around trumanblack and me yourusername @trumanblack sorry who brought you into the conversation?? trumanblack love it when you're mean to me x rass75 AH my eyes

1975fan1 damn they're both so hot, i fear the boys of the 1975 have rizz...

(liked by bedfordanes75 and trumanblack)

yourusername

liked by trumanblack and others

yourusername sadly Miss XCX wasn't the one for me, or i wasn't the one for her whatever blahblahblah

im giving love one last try next week before i give up and let my mum set me up!

view all 146 comments

1975fan1 omg matty liked this post maybe he's the last date?

1975fan2 me when im delusional xx 1975fan3 you do know they're going out years? he likes all her posts babe x

chickenshopdate

liked by trumanblack and others

chickenshopdate it's the one you've all been waiting for.. my date with @trumanblack @the1975 is out THIS Friday!

keep the hopes low guys he can't be funny in his first language let alone a foreign one xx

view all 500 comments

1975fan1 OH MY GOD i was right this is everything

rass75 you picked the wrong band member love

yourusername if you weren't too busy being cool and mysterious, it could've been us falling in love over chicken nuggets xx trumanblack oi rass75 back off

yourusername

liked by trumanblack and others

yourusername just broke the internet so i think i'm good to hardlaunch my current placeholder @trumanblack x

view all 490 comments

trumanblack babe you look so cool

yourusername BAHAHA did you quote your own lyrics to me?? thats an ick I might have to rethink this placeholder thing, rass75 are you free? trumanblack stop tryna replace me, hurts my feelings

trumanblack posted on their story!

-go watch me be fit and cool on a date

1975fan_base

liked by yourusername and others

1975fan_base in honour of @trumanblack and @yourusername's groundbreaking date i thought we should all love on the old pics of the two and the guys from her old insta!

view all 10 comments

1975fan1 parents literally my parents

1975fan2 so so cute they've been together so long !

1975fan_base ikr!! they make me believe in love

1975fan3 shes doing gods work giving us those photos

yourusername 💕💕

1975fan_base ahhh omg HI!!

yourusername posted on their story!

trumanblack reposted onto their story!

more boyfriend content cause he's giving out it's ruining his "cool" image lol

replies

bedfordanes75 cant ruin what was never there in the first place 1975fan1 IM SO OBSESSED WITH YOU TWO AHH

four weeks later

tmz

liked by 1975fan1 and others

tmz SPOTTED !! the 1975's frontman matty healy was seen out on a loved up walk around NYC today with gabriette, despite him and his long term girlfriend being seen together just over a month ago. Do we think the previous couple had broken it off already or is the singer adding cheater to his name?

let us know what you think down below!!

view all 500 comments

1975fan1 oh my fucking god men I cant

1975fan2 nooo I hope he and yourusername broke it off before this, shes too good for this shit!

1975fan1 doesnt even matter its very quick to already be in a relationship after ending one that lasted like 5 years...

1975fan3 this afternoon?? tmz you guys are disgusting putting this up, what if yourusername finds out through this!!

1975fan_base

liked by 1975fan1 and others

1975fan_base guys i cant be delusional anymore yourusername just unfollowed matty and all the boys 💔💔

view all 15 comments

1975fan1 noo I cant stop thinking she found out through tmz, hard day to be a 1975 fan....

1975fan2 how can he cheat on the girl who he wrote when we are together and about you for !!

1975fan_base genuinely makes no sense men are TRASH

1975fan3 feel like you guys should've seen this coming he's written so many songs about cheating on his girlfriend

1975fan2 literally no one asked!!

yourusername

liked by pheobebridgers and others

yourusername oh hi! hope you've missed me? let's play 2 truths and 1 lie: it's awards season, i'm fit as fuck and men are trash.

fans of chickenshopdate don't fret we'll be back with another season soon! it's time to level up on english singers, im looking at you @harrystyles xxx

view all 400 comments

yourusername god 1'm so bad at games there's 3 truths there isn't there?

fan 1 AHAHAH you are so iconic, gone for three months and you come back with this fan2 make him payyyy

florencepugh the real queen of england right here!

yourusername 💕💕

harrystyles i'm a pescatarian so what about just a regular date love x

fan 1 oh she's such a girlboss I hope ratty healy regrets every decision he's ever made!

bedfordanes75 gonna smash it! call one of us back when you get the chance <3

(liked by rass75,1975adam and charlie_xcx) fan3 eek the fallout of a couple in the same friend group right there

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

what doc? omg we need to protect u or swifties finna try kill you or taylor herself.

i have an unfinished google doc of the timeline of TS racism over the course of her career that i wrote in response to another ask i got.

basically background info: i got into a huge fight w swifties in a fandom im in because they kept stanning taylor during/post matty healy. it upset me bc 1) i am black girl and 2) the majority of the characters in the series we’re fans of are POC, including a black girl! so i called people out for their hypocrisy for stanning a racist woman in a series about characters of color and derailed my fandom blog as a result. which is why i made THIS blog because i felt crazy that nobody was taking me and what i pointed out about taylor swift seriously.

anyways: someone asked me on anon on that fandom blog to give some examples of taylor’s racism because it seemed like i was “blaming her for her boyfriend’s racism” (which if you date a racist you are racist. end of story) and it seemed like “i had a bigger problem with swifties than taylor herself” (not true. i hate taylor so much more and swifties really act as an extension of how awful of a person she is).

so when i was compiling info proving her racism i realized it actually was much MUCH MUCHHHHH worse than i realized and currently have an unfinished document of 22k+ words outlining every racist thing she’s done. AND IM STILL NOT DONE 😭

but this is also one of my biggest fears too, that i’ll be doxxed and have my life threatened. which in that case oh well i’ll die a hater idgaf

[butyou-callmewhenyourebored]

This Must Be My Dream Universe - instagram series

yourinstagram This is a joke right? trumanblack rass1975

Liked by adam1975, charlixcx, trumanblack and 216 others

trumanblack Do what I like 🤷🏻

-> yourinstagram You're a dick -> denise_welch Honey don't tease her!

adam1975 If it makes you feel better, he tried to kiss me too!

-> yourinstagram A little but no offence Ads but I'm not jealous of the rat kissing you!

charlixcx I volunteer to kiss you when we finally meet?!

-> yourinstagram Deal! 😍

-> bedforddanes75 Can I watch?!

-> rass1975 Stop trying to steal my girl!

rass1975 I hated every second of it sweetheart!

-> yourinstragram I miss you! Can you come home now please!

-> rass1975 Soon I promise! 🖤

yourinstagram One from the archives! trumanblack bedforddanes75

Liked by charlixcx, carly.rh, denise_welch and 438 others

bedforddanes75 Is this the night we necked?

-> yourinstagram George!!! 😳 It might be? 👀 Also evidence this meeting was enough to not see you again for ten years

-> bedforddanes75 Sick! love you too 🙄

-> trumanblack Look at those youthful looking chaps!

-> yourinstagram Yeah! What the hell happened?!

fan1 Sorry who is this?

-> fan2 She's Matty's childhood best friend!

denise_welch What is this circa 2008?

-> yourinstagram Yes! Literal babies!

rass1975 To think we could have known each other all this time if our mate wasn't such a shit head!

-> yourinstagram I know! What a little rat!

yourinstagram Never been happier! 🥰

Liked by rass1975, adam1975, carly.rh and 723 others

comments have been restricted

charlixcx We know why you're glowing! 😏

-> yourinstagram Shhhh

rass1975 My girl 🖤

-> yourinstagram Always 🖤

trumanblack Get it girl 🍆🍆🍆

-> yourinstagram You're getting blocked

-> adam1975 Do it!!!

denise_welch I love seeing you so happy sweetheart!

-> yourinstagram Thanks Auntie Denise! ❤️

rass1975 happy wife happy life

Liked by yourinstagram, carly.rh, bedforddanes75 and 17,249 others

comments have been restricted

yourinstagram Always the happiest by your side my love 🖤

-> rass1975 I love you 🖤

trumanblack Funny what a good dick and some pasta will do

-> yourinstagram I hate you so much

charlixcx Goals! How I aim to be! 😍

-> yourinstagram Good to know G isn't satisfying you babe 😏

-> bedforddanes75 hate you

-> yourinstagram 😘

-> rass1975 hahahaha p.s thanks charli x

carly.rh My fave couple 💗

-> yourinstagram *gasp* But you're in mine! 💗

yourinstagram How did I get so lucky? Fuck Me! 😍🥵🤤

Liked by rass1975, taylorswift, charlixcx and 427 others

comments partially restricted

fan1 mood

charlixcx You guys make me sick 😵‍💫

-> yourinstagram Babe I have to look at you and G on a regular basis and that is just next level gross

-> bedforddanes75 Do we have a problem?

-> yourinstagram Yeah we do! Let's go big boi outside right now!

fan2 I would pay to see you fight George

-> trumanblack She'd win

trumanblack I mean he is quite a catch I would know

-> yourinstagram Stay away from my man Healy!

yourinstagram and rass1975 11.03.23 - ♾

Liked by charlixcx, bedforddanes75, carly.rh and 51,256 others

comments have been restricted

trumanblack I know I like to tease you both but in all seriousness thank you for making my best friend the happiest I've ever seen her. This goes both ways. I adore the both of you so so much. I love you!

-> yourinstagram I love you the most you know this (just not as much as my hubby) thank you for being my best friend and confidant my entire life. You mean the world to me.

-> rass1975 Thanks mate, love you x

charlixcx Watching you get married was a privilege, love you both so bloody much! 🖤

-> yourinstagram Thank you for being my maid of honour just needed our Carls there for it to be extra perfect! 💖

adam1975 Family for life! ❤️

-> yourinstagram Love you so much Ads! ❤️

bedforddanes75 Best wedding ever!

-> yourinstagram Love you G 🤍

denise_welch Ohhh my! My darling girl! I'm so happy for you! 💗

-> yourinstagram Thanks Auntie Denise! Can't wait to celebrate with you when we're back! 💗

rass1975 Love you to the moon and back Mrs McDonald! 🖤

-> yourinstagram I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you Mr McDonald! I love you to the cosmos and back! 🖤

Hope you enjoy this little instagram series for the This Must Be My Dream universe! I love reading everyone's little insta posts they make and was inspired to do my own whilst motivation is low to finish both my wips. So enjoy! Not sure why two of the pics have resized but you'll have to just deal with it because I don't have the patience right now to sort it! x

[tillthelandslide]

Masterlist []

name: Lou ✌️

24 🌸

pronouns: she/her

time zone: GMT 🇬🇧

Add yourself to my taglist here

Key: Smut 💦 Instagram AU 📸 One shot ❤️ Series📓

*read the lastest: Prove It Princess 💦 || Can't Get Enough📓

The 1975:

Same for you 📓 (in progress)

One Shots

Stupidly Happy Smiles ❤️

Mr Macdonald 📸

Touring with the 1975📸

Filth💦

Stubborn, Whipped, Insatiable💦

Sweet Cheeks ❤️

Throughout the Years 📸

Request: domestic fluff with Ross x Ross smut 💦🍭

Daddy Ross 📸

You've Got Me Forever ❤️

My Person 📸

She's Got A Boyfriend Anyway 💦

Poor Baby ❤️

Made For Me 💦

Go Get Your Man

Travelling 📸

You're Not Alone ❤️

We've Got Forever After All 📸

For Better or For Worse ❤️

Happy Valentine's Day ❤️

Series

Pressure 📓(on hold)

Instagram AU

Blurbs / Short Fics

Under the Weather ❤️

One Shots

Yours ❤️

Obsessed 📸

Blurbs / Short Fics

Lovey Dovey G ❤️

Series

Love It If We Made It (coming soon)

One Shots

Unbelievably so ❤️

Babe You Look So Cool📸

She's Got A Boyfriend Anyway 💦

My Wife ❤️

Best Friend Day ❤️

Post-Stoned with Matty Interview ❤️

Perfect Girl (chain matty)💦 || Prove It Princess (part 2)

Wintering ❤️

Definitely Don't Hate It

I love you, don't you mind?

Blurbs / short one shots

Dinner with the Healy's (post Finsbury Park)

Series

Insufferable Arsehole 📓 (completed)

Then Because She Goes (coming soon)

[definedbydaylight]

“It’ll Be The Last Time” - Matty Healy x F!Reader

Part 2:

Masterlist: .°˖✧

Word Count: 2132

Warnings: angst-ish, smoking, alcohol, drugs and semi-smutty?, mostly just mentions of it, also i promise this is a Matty fic i just love George so i can’t help but add some love for him in there

Series Summary: “You’ve known Matty since you were 14 and the boy has never failed to get on your last nerve, but over the years you two end up having unexplainable moments where you can’t help but feel you two are connected in a way you’ll never feel with anyone else, until one night he tells you something that may change how you view the boy forever…”

January 13th 2011

Today is finally the day, your debut album is coming out and you should be over the moon, you should be enjoying being out with your friends celebrating, but instead all you can think about is the words Matty spoke to you last summer. You hadn’t really spoken to him since, you’d been out with all the boys since then, you really couldn’t avoid it cause somehow Kelsey and Ross were still going strong all these years later, so you’d seen Matty, you just hadn’t spoken to him past a simple greeting. The club you were at was hosting a release party for you, a small area roped off for just your group, your manager had set everything up as a surprise, you would’ve been fine with a small listening party in your flat, but Kelsey insisted you go along with the idea and enjoy your big day. Honestly she was probably more excited for the release than you were, she’d been planning your outfit for the last week, acting as if it was your wedding day.

The situation at hand felt all too familiar to you, the fact that she’d picked you out a green dress to wear only added onto the nostalgic feeling, but you could never say no to her. You’re currently downing your third dirty shirley of the night, you were over an hour into the party and there was still another 45 minutes before the album dropped and your sad music would be blaring through this club, you almost left bad for the people who came out here who didn’t know what they were about to be subjected to. George and Adam are the first of the boys to arrive besides Ross who’d come early with you and Kels, they walk over to your chosen spot in a booth in the far corner of your section, they both greet you with a hug.

“Don’t look too happy about beating us to an album now y/n!” George jokes to you.

“Oh please we all knew she’d be the first.” Adam nudges your arm. “But for real love what’s with the sulking in the corner? It looks like it’s Kels’s release party!”

All three of you look to Ross and Kelsey dancing together to whatever upbeat club song was playing at the moment, the instrumental far too loud and drowning out any words that would help you identify it, you give a small laugh.

“Just preparing myself for the world to either hate it or love it I guess, I’m ungodly nervous.” You admit to the two.

“Oh please y/n/n! ‘With Your Permission’ is going to smash, every song is a fucking tune and you know it!” George had always been the most encouraging about your music dreams.

“Everyone’s a critic though.” You reply slamming back the rest of your drink, when you look back up you see Matty entering with his girl of the week on his arm. “I need a shot! George care to join me?”

He smiles and follows you back up to the bar, you can’t see but you feel Matty’s eyes following you both as George snakes his arm around your waist guiding you through the crowd.

“4 shots of Tequila please.” You smile kindly at the bartender as he prepares the liquor for you both.

“Any particular reason for the excessive alcohol consumption?” George teases you as the shots are set in front you both.

“Killing the nerves babes.” You smile at him, it’s only a partial lie, you were trying to drown your nerves in alcohol, but it wasn’t about critics or ratings, it was about his best mate who’d drunkenly confessed his love for her just barely 5 months ago now.

“Good enough for me.” He kisses your forehead and you both shoot back two shots in each in quick succession.

Afterwards your eyes find Matty’s and you can’t read his expression like you usually could… it was going to be a long night.

2006:

George and you and had been off and on since the dance, you weren’t really official in the dating sense, but when you both got horny or felt like being romantic you knew exactly who to go to. No one in the group questioned it, you were teenagers and you had sworn to Kelsey about a thousand times that you didn’t want anything serious and she trusted your decisions. The only person who took issue with it was Matty for now obvious reasons, he never really said it but his body language and snide comments told you enough about how he felt. Especially now as you were currently sat on George’s lap at another one of your school mate Josh’s parties, his hands on your waist and one of yours playing with the ends of his hair and the other holding a cider Ross had just brought you on his way back outside from the kitchen. Your whole group was gathered around a makeshift fire pit in the backyard, the heat from the flames keeping you all warm in the crappy early english spring, you were honestly surprised it hadn’t started raining yet as you stared at the dark clouds overhead.

“I’m bored!” Kelsey interrupts the comfortable silence you all’d built up, minus the muffled party music coming from inside the house. “Ooo! Let’s play a game!”

The group groans in unison at the suggestion, but when she breaks out the puppy dog eyes at Ross he’s quick to convince everyone to agree to a drinking game.

“What game do you even have in mind?” You ask your best friend wondering what she might have up her sleeve this time.

“Let’s do never had I ever! You say something you’ve never done, and if someone in the group as done it, they have to take a shot! Adam would you be a dear and go grab us a bottle of something and a few those little plastic shot glasses I saw in kitchen? I’d make Ross do it but he’s just got back from the last trip I sent him on.” And of course no one can say no to Kelsey, so Adam nods and is off to the house.

You all set up in a little circle on the patio beside the fire pit, you’d taken your spot next to George and somehow you’d ended up directly across from Matty on the other side of the circle, his stare held on you and he nursed one of his many smokes of the night. You and Matty hadn’t spoke of what happened at the dance since that night, you’d felt bad in a way about how you’d just left him there, but he knew you liked George, his best mate, and he’d still kissed you. Adam returned with two bottles, one apple sourz and a store brand tequila, a baggie of shot glasses under one arm, behind him trailed the host Josh and you and Kelsey’s school friend Maya.

“Hope you don’t mind but I brought along some randoms to make it more interesting.” Adam says as he hands everyone a shot glass and places the alcohol in the center of the circle.

The game started innocent enough with stupid and playful “Never Have I Ever”s, everyone had taken as least 2 shots at this point, and you were all definitely starting to feel the affects of the alcohol. George had made the mistake of getting on Matty’s nerves by using a very specific embarrassing example to get him to take a shot, and what happened next didn’t help.

“Okay! Ummm.” It was Maya’s turn, and she had no clue what flood gates she was about to open, and neither did you. “Never Have I Ever… had sex…” She admitted quietly.

Ross and Kelsey both took their shot expectantly, as did Matty, you felt your face heat up as your glanced to George at your side, he quirked his eyebrow up at you as you both smiled and threw back your shots together.

“Y/N L/N!” Kelsey shouts from other side the circle. “You dirty dog! Why didn’t you tell me!?” She faked being hurt as she placed a hand over her heart.

You put your face in your hands at the new found attention from the group and leaned over into George, he sweetly rubbed your back and laughed a little at your embarrassment, but you knew it wasn’t in a mean way. The one person you expected to make a comment hadn’t spoken up at all, just sat in silence with a small smirk on his lips, something brewing in his eyes. Josh’s turn was next, then Adam, and finally it was Matty’s turn.

“Hmmm…” He feigned being deep in thought about what he’d say. “Oh! I know! Never Have I Ever kissed my date’s best mate while at a school dance.”

Silence overtook the group after he spoke, your face stilled and your heartbeat quickened as you made eye contact with him.

“That is so weirdly specific.” Maya laughs not knowing the gravity of the situation.

“Well?” Matty speaks up again. “Go ahead and take your shot June Bug.”

Everyone’s eyes were on you again, but this time it wasn’t embarrassment you left it was anger, you held your gaze on him as you took your shot.

“My turn.” You say with heat behind your words that everyone could feel.

“Umm no it’s Kels-” Josh tried to speak up before Adam slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Never Have I Ever tried to throw my best mate under the bus by telling his date all he wants from her is a ‘good shag’ before telling her I’ve always cared about you more then kissed her without thinking about the repercussions of my actions.” It’s your turn smirk at him. “Go ahead Matty…” You say drawing it out. “Take your shot.”

George is quietly fuming beside you and his grin on your waist tightens as Matty grits his teeth and takes his shot, the tension in the air is so think you could cut it with a knife, and your just glad you can tell his anger isn’t directed at you, but at the curly headed brunette.

“Jesus Christ Matty.” George mutters as he rubs his temples with his free hand. “You know if I wasn’t drunk as shit right now I would break your fucking nose.”

“Damn Matty you did not think that through.” Josh laughs trying to lighten the mood and failing.

Kelsey is watching at you as you stand up and turn to George, a worried expression on her face. “Fancy yourself a ‘good shag’ babes?” You smile at him.

He looks up at you, smiling right back. “With you? Always.” You grab his hand as he stands up, you both pass Matty as you walk to the house, but George pauses for a moment and leans down to Matty’s ear. “She’s bloody fantastic in bed by the way.”

You both enter the house taking up residence in the master bath for some privacy, meanwhile outside Ross is handing Matty’s ass to him on platter. Only Adam knew the true nature of Matty’s feelings for you, Matty didn’t open up about how he felt about these kinds of things easily, only telling Adam after he’d gotten wasted at his after the dance. Matty truly did feel bad with how he’d handled telling you about how he felt, but tonight he was drunk and high and couldn’t stop himself from being an ass after learning the George had been the one to deflower you.

“Lay off him man.” Adam tried to to speak up and Ross whips his head towards him.

“Are you kidding me! He acted liked a child and practically decided to try and ruin his relationship with not only y/n but his best mate as well in the process!” He yells, he then redirects his attention back to Matty. “What we’re you thinking Matthew!?”

Matty sat in silence now, just taking everything Ross had to throw at him, at some point before now he’d reached for the apple sourz and began to down as much as he could, feeling every emotion and yet none all at the same time. Kelsey was rubbing Ross’s back trying to get him to calm down but it wasn’t working and she eventually gave up, going to sit between Josh and Maya, trying to process the events of what just happened and why you hadn’t told her.

After several more minutes of verbal abuse from the friendly giant Matty had finally had enough. “FUCK OFF ROSS, I’M BLOODY IN LOVE WITH HER! OKAY!?”

Silence overtook the group once again, everyone finding out the truth 4 years before you did.

Part 3

a/n: okay haha idk i just got into a rhythm while writing this so idk if it’s good cause my brain cannot handle trying to check it over rn cause i have work in like an hour haha, but i’ll revise when i get home! anyway hope you all enjoy! xx