#i have lore ideas that i should draw. it's just not happening yet. war and violence on earth

[worsesart]

trying to manifest getting back into drawing

[pestilentbrood]

Very Brief Clans Overview

Figured I should have a sooort of explanation post so people don't get too lost regarding lore things, especially because I hope to actually draw out more Lore Important Things at some point or another hehe.

This is just a quick breakdown of each clan in development so far. The titles of each will have a link to their tag on my blog if you'd like to view posts pertaining to That Clan!

Starting, of course, with:

The Incompetence

Nestled in a gorge along the Scarred Wastelands' shores, the Incompetence is a ragtag bunch of losers led by an arrogant fae named Patience. Said fae is hellbent on the idea of Fate, claiming he is the universe's specialiest boy of all time, and any that follow him are special as well. The dragons who come here do so under the assumption they are not fit to survive in the Wastelands' treacherous landscape. They are the weak, old, and battered. Surely they are not meant to see another day in this cruel existence, and they will die solemn, bitter, and alone. ...But due to some miracle, they've all gone on to live peacefully here. Together. Alive.

Perhaps there is something to our wacky leader's obsession with Fate...

[many more clans below!]

The Loyalty

And these are the antagonists.

The Loyalty is an old clan with a history spanning back centuries. Born out of nothing but unadulterated respect and servitude to the Plaguebringer, the Loyalty is a ruthless place that has only worsened over time, and any who disrespect them will meet the cruelest of punishments.

While originally a respectable bunch, the lot has grown merciless over the past few decades, with worse and worse dragons taking the mantle of leader. Our current leader is Cletus, a vindictive aberration dead set on making the Loyalty as vicious as possible.

All I'm saying is, steer clear of the Wyrmwound. There are beasts under there.

Wandering Threads

The Threads are a traveling group of veilspun led by Nootka. The swarm acts as one massive family, both literally and metaphorically (because nearly everyone involved is part of a big polygamous relationship), and honestly they're just having a great time.

Well, like, save for one horrible encounter with the Loyalty that happened recently. But don't worry about it.

Shadows of Doubt

You wanna commit thievery and have it go so wrong we start replacing our blood with liquid gold? Well come on over to the Foxfire Brambles and join us Shadows! ...Uh. I mean. Actually, don't worry about the liquid gold blood thing. Only Penumbra did that. Gloom, the other leader, is very normal in comparison. And disregard the infestation of bug fae. We're pretty normal here.

We just like to commit theft for these two silly siblings. Don't even worry about it.

Acolytes of the Arcanist

A mad-scientist prophet in the Starwood Strand has decided that the Arcanist's goals of reaching the heavens and controlling the universe sound really great, actually! Why don't we do that together? Through the limitless bounds of science, we will reach the stars and own them ourselves.

And won't you join us? The stars in your wings shine so... beautifully... :)

[REDACTED]

Everyone in this clan is canonically dead by the present day. All you need to know about it is that we tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it didn't even matter. Arcane and Light just can't get along for more than two minutes.

(we started a civil war not clickbait gone wrong. etc.)

The Adherence

Nolan is NOT the leader of the Adherence. I just don't have the leader(s) yet. So for now he's representing this place. Which is fitting enough, honestly.

The Adherence is a city of pearlcatchers that is currently flourishing somewhere in the Sunbeam Ruins. Don't ask me where, exactly. I just know it's in there. They run a very strict society where only light-inborn pearlcatchers can garner any amount of respect. Should you be born of a different flight, or worse, a different breed... You may come in, but you'll get a lot of scorn for it.

Unless you're an imperial. Then you're out of luck. Except for this really nice, not at all suspicious guy named Nolan who is offering you a peaceful sanctuary if you'll just follow him this way.

Excessive Library Damage

Ok, that's not the name of the clan. It just doesn't really have a name. Not yet.

Anyway, this is a crew of Aethers that crash-landed into the Wastelands, managing to break right through the surface of Sornieth's soil and into an ancient, abandoned library. Likely filled to the brim with incredible history of Sornieth that has been long since forgotten. And countless priceless artifacts.

...Oh. Nevermind. Oh, it's... it's all gone.

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SMALL GROUPS WHO AREN'T REALLY FULL-FLEDGED CLANS (YET, IN SOME CASES) BUT ARE STILL WORTH MENTIONING:

Twisted Waters

A pirate dies. Then she un-dies. It turns out the eldritch creature in the ocean, who is interested primarily in spiting her husband, has chosen this pirate to become queen of an underwater kingdom. And that pirate MUST get EVERYONE in the kingdom to love the eldritch beast unconditionally.

Because while the Tidelord may have abandoned you, Twist never will <3

Snow Shower Town

There's like multiple different plots happening here. But what's important is that this is MOSTLY based in a small town within the Icefields, wherein a bunch of dragons of varying flights are chilling and hanging out while trying not to die in the regular blizzards.

Also there's like. An ice witch nearby, but you can ignore her, she's totally not important.

William's Day Out

AHH. The Horrors...

William is a normal guy. The haunted baby is a normal baby. Lutka is a normal guy. The four siblings are all normal. Don't worry about it. STAY FAR AWAY FROM THE WISPWILLOW GROVE. I mean what who said that

Girl's Night

Hey, what happens in girls night stays in girls night, okay?

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EXTRAS

Out in the Worldedge Wetlands there's a very sad old man and an old woman who goes "take better care of yourself, old man" and he goes "no i'm depressed." There are vaguely understood nature clan(s?) nearby.

I have in mind a group of Coatls who live in the shadow territory somewhere, but it's VERY loosely defined.

Freaky undead thing hanging out in the rubble of the Hewn City is freaky and undead (NOT an emperor this time)

There's a wanted criminal wandering around in the wastelands but you can ignore him. The person who matters is the Woman he has convinced to join his cause and has since begun eating people

And that's all for now! check back for inevitably 1 million updates.

[fuzzydreamin]

dropping into your inbox because i'm thinking about al <3

in what ways would you say they've changed the most since you created them? in what ways are they the same?

is there anything new you've recently added to their lore?

what's their relationship with the brotherhood of steel like? how'd they meet reed?

Thank you!!!💖🥰 I shall happily rant about my blorbo under the cut~

Hmmm... Al sort of popped into my brain fairly fully formed - or at least already part-way through the process of getting cooked. I tend to rotate ideas in my head for a bit before I decide if I will keep them or not.

Like, the first time I thought about them was how the presence of the LW in my Fo4 story would impact things, which meant I had to have a fairly good idea of who they would have been before that point - mostly running off the fact that Fo3 throws a lot of crap the players way, and they're pretty young for it all, so that had to have left a lot of scars (physical and mental). I've certainly ironed things out more and fleshed out certain niches of personality and backstory, but not so much that I feel I could specifically point anything out? The broad stuff is pretty much already there, I just have to actually get to writing things down to see how they change from here. (I keep telling myself I need to replay Fo3 at some point so I can take more notes on smaller things or things that could potentially change larger things, but I have a backlog of stuff I want to work on first.)

Mostly I'd say their visual appearance has changed more, but that sits more on my ability to convey it. I've always had at least a rough idea of how they should look, but getting ideas onto a canvas is a whole ordeal, especially since I am not well practised. I need to do more general sketching and working on different face shapes. The character sheet reference I am working on is closer to how I want them to appear, but I don't know yet if I am fully happy with it. It's also the first time I am drawing her from the front, so I'm not sure how well the changes will translate (maybe I should work on a new side shot of her too)? Time will tell. Overall, I feel I have drawn their face too rounded and feminine in the past, and my first drawing of them didn't have the right skin tone. I also still need to work out scars and any other markings, like more tattoos (or any piercings), which is another thing I need to return to Fo3 for as well.

-

Al's relationship with the Brotherhood is definitely complicated. They were brought there by Dr Li after James died and joined up as a way to better protect Dr Li and the other scientists while they completed Project Purity - viewing her fathers death as at least partially her own fault, since she was meant to be the muscle.

They didn't know a lot about the Brotherhood really, and they weren't in a good mental state and didn't think it through very well. If asked, they wouldn't say they agreed with most of the Brotherhood's ideals - they certainly don't follow the codex. Hell, they even work with the Railroad within the Capital when called upon (not super common - they have other people for most jobs - but it happens), so their personal stance within the Commonwealth's faction war turns out the be rather conflicted from that alone (the Brotherhood/Maxson don't know she works with them).

That's all a large part of why she's a Sentinel though. After the events of the main game, with nowhere else to go, Al tried to stick with the Brotherhood for a while but it didn't really work out. Other than the general conflict of ideals, they felt trapped by the routine and mostly staying in one place and listening to orders all day. Owyn saw that they struggled and decided to make them a Sentinel shortly before his death, letting them roam and (mostly) do as they please while still being considered a member of the Brotherhood (This wasn't entirely out of good will alone, since it allowed the Brotherhood to maintain a claim over The Lone Wanderer and still call on her when they needed, rather than forcing her to stick around until she'd likely cut ties and self-exile to get away).

Even still, they have a strong connection to the faction due to them being the only solid foundation for them to fall back on during such a hard time in their life, as well as having close relationships with Owyn, Sarah, Cross, and Arthur. Al can be doggedly loyal to those they care about, and again they don't always think their actions through before taking them - they're a fighter not a diplomat. She is aware that she's like that though, and isn't a total puppet.

-

As for meeting Reed... Well, I've already let @bokatan know I might've begun working on something 👀 Largely inspired by this post. But, I still need to write at least a first draft and then run it by Bo before I feel I can say much more on any of that.

(Also, to add a disclaimer, all Reed/Al stuff is an alternate OC-verse kinda thing, and not part of their actual stories.)

[raindownforme]

omg omg ok ok so maybe for a request charlie and the reader and how they interact as streamers?? like a friends to lovers au but you can tell how they fall in love through all their interactions online & in games (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

like for example whenever they play on the smp charlie only reaaallly wants to help the reader and when anyone else asks he’s like hm? what? IT JUST SEEMED CUTE IN MY HEAD ☹️💌

Lore

Charlie slimecicle x reader [they/them used]

“Hello twitchers.” y/n smiled into the face cam, watching the chat fly by a mile a minute. They knew they’d draw in a larger audience today, it being their first official stream on the Dream SMP. They loaded up the game, spawning in a wooded area surrounded by cobblestone. “Alright where do we- hello?”

y/n leaned closer to the screen. They could see someone standing behind a tree. Someone in glasses and green blotchy skin. They typed into the in-game chat, trying to get who ever it was to come closer. Thankfully they did, revealing a character named Slimecicle. y/n looked over to the discord server, pulling themselves into a voice channel with the mystery person.

“Hi there!” Slimecicle’s voice rang through y/n’s headphones and they smiled. They liked the sound of his voice. “Im Charlie. Welcome.”

“Thanks. Do you know how to get anywhere?”

“Yeah!” Charlie’s character jumped as y/n followed after him. Charlie led them to a snowy mountainside that had been covered with sand. Someone had built a white mansion and several other buildings, including a fountain and a tall tower. “This is where I live.”

“This mansion?” y/n panned to look around the mountainside. They glanced over to watch their chat fly by.

“No I just live in the country in general. Las Nevadas!” Charlie jumped up and down, punching y/n in a friendly manner. “Oh are you hungry? I have food!”

Charlie’s character threw a stack of lamb chops at y/n. They smiled at him, then quickly realized he couldn’t see them. “Thanks! Where is this by the way.”

“Only the best country ever. It’s Las Nevadas! Do you want to live here?”

“Sure!” y/n followed as Charlie ran around. He showed them all around the country; the casino, the strip club, the restaurant, and even the garden. “Charlie this is so cool!”

“I know!” Charlie jumped up and down in a circle. “I’m not the guy who owns it but I’m sure he’d like to meet you.”

“Oh.” y/n paused, biting their cheek. “Will he be okay with me being here?”

“Of course he will. It’s Quackity! Let’s find you somewhere to live.” y/n followed Charlie to the tall white tower. He led them behind it to a flat plot of sand. “Here! We’ll be neighbors.”

“Awesome. I don’t have anything to build with yet but-“

“Oh here!” Charlie ran into the base of the tower, coming back 30 seconds later. He threw two stacks of oak logs to y/n. “Is this what you needed?”

“I- yeah. That’s a lot of wood.”

“I want you to have it!”

y/n smiled bashfully, trying to swallow the heat rising to their cheeks. They could see their twitch chat running by with messages asking if it was lore or cannon. “Here. Take this then.”

Charlie marveled at the flower y/n had tossed him, a blue cornflower. He smiled, holding a hand over his mouth to hide from the prying eyes of his own twitch chat. “Thank you.”

y/n began running around the plot, randomly placing oak planks to make a frame for their house. They tossed Charlie some planks, allowing him to help build up the home. They continued beholding for another half an hour, allowing y/n to have a gorgeous one story home with room for storage and supplies.

“Thanks for all your help today.”

“Of course! Do I get to see you again?”

y/n smiled, glancing over at discord to make sure they’d requested to be friends with Charlie. “Of course! I’ll see you around the server?”

y/n and Charlie saw each other quite often around the server. y/n logged on, Charlie was there. They’d spend hours in the game mining together, building structures, hunting. It went on months of them interacting in streams and lore exclusively.

“You can’t do this Quackity.” y/n spoke slowly. They’d been practicing the recording for this lore for weeks now, and thank god it wasn’t live. “I trust you, and I’m glad we’re friends, but this? Burning it all? What will that do for you. What will any of this do for you?”

“I know you haven’t been here as long, but this is my fucking country. It’s my fucking war. Who the hell are you to think you have any understanding of this? And ideas?”

“Because this isn’t how it works. This isn’t going to work. How many times have you tried this and it just hasn’t happened or you? I don’t know, maybe think about Schlatt? Or Technoblade?”

Quackity froze, being eerily silent. y/n glanced over at the script, making sure nothing was missed. “How do you know about that? Who told you about that?” Quackity’s character ran forward with a diamond sword in hand. “That is none of your business.”

“It’s none of your business how I know.” y/n backed away from Quackity as he walked closer. “I may not have been here long but I have friends.”

“What friends you have-“ he paused, realization setting in. “You have Slime. My friend.”

Quackity came at y/n swinging, they tried to fight back, blocking with a shield and iron sword. “Quackity enough! This isn’t what you want! Quackity please-“

y/n stopped, holding a breath and muting their mic. Quackity had landed the final blow, taking their first cannon life. They moved slightly away from their set up, making sure to not touch any keys. They knew Quackity was still recording, and Charlie’s part was coming soon.

Quackity panted. Taking a shaky breath. “Fuck. Okay. God I can’t believe-“ y/n waited expectantly. Quackity’s pause meant that he saw Charlie. “Oh. Hey bud.”

“Quackity from Las Nevadas.” Charlie almost sounded like he was crying. “What did you do?”

“Slime, you don’t understand, they knew more than they should-“

“So you killed them?” Quackity was quiet. y/n silently cheered to themselves, proud of both Charlie and Quackity’s acting. “You- you took my friend. You took my friend away and- are they coming back? Is y/n coming back?”

“Slime, I took one life. It doesn’t matter. They don’t matter. They didn’t care about Las Nevadas, not like we do.” y/n could hear Quackity’s character moving from his audio in the discord call. “It’s you and me Slime, my best friend.”

“No.”

“No?” y/n looked over the shared script, searching for what part was happening. They hadn’t read this far ahead. “What do you mean no?”

“I cared about y/n. They were my friend. This is not how you treat a friend.”

“And how would you know?”

“Because I know Quackity. I know.”

Charlie and Quackity came to a halt, waiting a moment before speaking again. “That was great!” y/n exited the Minecraft world, turning their full attention to the discord call. Quackity had his camera on, smiling, but Charlie still kept his camera off. “Was there anything else to record today?”

“No that’s it.” There was some clicking from Quackity’s end. “Thanks again. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, later.”

Quackity exited the discord call, leaving Charlie and y/n in silence. Charlie cleared his throat, turning on his camera. His room was lit by just the lights behind his set up, casting his shadow over the shelves of stuffed toys and collectibles behind him. “Hey.”

“Hey!” y/n felt their face grow warm slightly. “I didn’t realize there was that much more to the script.”

“Yeah.”

y/n chewed the inside of their cheek. It almost sounded like Charlie was disappointed. “Are you okay? You sound upset.”

“I just-“ Charlie paused, resting his chin on his propped-up hands. “What do we do now? I don’t want to stop playing minecraft with you.”

“Charlie we don’t have to stop. Just because the lore goes one way doesn’t mean that we can’t interact.”

“But continuity-“

“You’re thinking like DnD.” y/n smiled gently at him. “If you still want to play together we can, it’ll just be like a secret. Or we can do our own lore. I’m sure if we talk to everyone about it me and you can write something.” Charlie didn’t say anything, and they frowned. “Is there something else?”

“I kind wish they didn’t kill you so early. I’ve still got my lives.”

“Maybe Quackity will kill you next.”

“That’s not-“ Charlie huffed, running a hand through his hair. “I like the character dynamic. I like us interacting. I like us.”

y/n paused, their face burning. They’d be lying if they said they hadn’t thought about the dynamic between themself and Charlie. The clips of them talking on late night streams. The fan-art all over Twitter. The edits recommended to them on Instagram. Hell, they thought about it even without seeing any prompted content. Charlie was on their mind most of the day. They’d constantly find themselves checking twitch to see if he was live or discord to see if he was active. Charlie had become a constant in y/n’s life and they indulged themself in it. “I like the dynamic too.”

“Well we don’t have that dynamic if you stop being part of Las Nevadas. There isn’t us.”

“Charlie, what are you talking about?”

“I’ve been— fucking— I’ve been using this stupid server to get closer to you. I thought that maybe you liked us the way that I liked us and I- I don’t know what I’m doing now.” Charlie rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I just didn’t want you to go.”

“Charlie I’m not going anywhere. I like us too.”

“You do?” Charlie perked up a bit, seeming more enthusiastic.

“Just cause we write lore doesn’t mean it affects us. Here, watch this.” y/n went onto the shared script, hoping Charlie still had it open, and began to type. They wrote about how y/n would possibly live alone in the woods on the outskirts of Las Nevadas, staying close to Charlie.

They could see Charlie smile on the other end of the call, then emit the sound of keys tapping. y/n watched as the words appeared on the page: Charlie tells y/n how he feels.

y/n gasped and turned back to the discord call. “I wanted to tell you soon. I guess I didn’t realize how upset the recording would make me.”

“Charlie, how long have you had a crush on me?”

“Uh, remember your first day?” y/n nodded eagerly. “Yeah. Probably about there.”

y/n turned back to the shared document, typing furiously. “It’s a good thing I like you too.”

Charlie smiled widely at the words; y/n returns his affection. He smiled at the discord call, resting his face in his hands. “Well then, what’s next for our lore darling?”

y/n chuckled, going back to open minecraft. “Help me make a new house.”

“Only if my bed can be next to yours.”

“Deal.”

They could hear Charlie tapping on his keyboard as he loaded in the game. “I know we haven’t met in person, but I’m serious. I like you.”

“And I’m serious. I like you too.” y/n looked at Charlie’s character on their screen. “It does kind of suck we’ve never met but that doesn’t mean-“

“I bought a ticket.”

“W-what? What kind of ticket?”

“A plane ticket. For next week. I mean if that’s okay. I can still cancel it.”

“No! I mean yes. I’d be delighted to have you come over Charlie.” y/n felt their smile soften.

“Can I still have a bed then?”

“Yes!” y/n laughed, going back to the game. They placed two beds side-by-side in the open air. “How’s this?”

“Better.” Charlie’s character went to stand on one of the beds. “Maybe we can write something different- oh.”

y/n looked at the document. Quackity had left them a comment on their new writing, telling them to flirt elsewhere. “Well, I guess he had a point.”

“Back to the game then darling?”

y/n smiled bashfully at the nickname. “Back to the game.”

[permafusion-stevonnie]

So this idea isn’t leaving my head. While I’m not going to get it started for now, since I want to concentrate on my current Stevonnie comic, ideas are still ticking away and I just really wanted to draw this cover for the idea.

Maybe I’ll get its own page started in time. I’ll let you know if I do. But even if I did, I wouldn’t expect regular updates to it, not while I’m working on Together Forever.

I want to quickly say something that I think some people may have gotten confused about when I was talking about the Fallout Universe before:

Crystal Gems are still called Crystal Gems, but their role is similar, but not the same as the Brotherhood of Steel. In that they are isolationists, who will try to protect humanity from dangerous gem technology, and corrupted gems. they aren’t bothered with human mutants, human problems, or human technology. But I feel that, ove time, Steven will help their character growth away from this and help them, at least, start opening up to the local comminuty and helping where they can.

Homeworld Authority is still called Homeworld, or The Authority, but take on a similar role to the Enclave. They view themselves as the rightful masters of earth and they’re automatically more superior to any other lifeform by birthright.

I have been thinking over what could have occurred to create this world, how’s this for a (work in progress) backstory: (ended up a lot longer than I thought it would, so I’m space saving by putting in this break)

The Gem colonisation of earth happened later than it did in canon. A couple of thousand years, maybe. Unlike the 6000 years ago in canon, it was perhaps 5000, or maybe 4000 years ago. Enough for a bigger human civilisation to take part in the gem war for earth.

Pink still gets her colony started, still changes her mind about it, and finally chooses to become Rose Quartz to lead the rebellion. I think the human zoo will still be made, because I like the idea of that being around to give a mash-up of the human zoo and the mother ship zeta dlc from Fallout 3.

What really diverges from the timeline is when the rebellion starts fighting back with larger groups of human allies. 4000 (or 5000) years ago we are talking some good military strategies, chariots, bows and arrows, cavalries and tactics, etc. Some research will be needed to really flesh out the lore.

Homeworld, facing a bigger threat than a hundred or so rebels, puts a little more effort into research and development of newer technologies to counteract the human strategies. Nothing develops technologies quite like war.

Rose and the others start capturing some technologies from Homeworld and start studying them to not only understand them, but even attempting to reverse engineer them. They obviously won’t be able to replicate the weapons in form, but hope to do so in function.

This is where Scribes would come in for the Crystal Gems are the replacement for the Brotherhood of Steel that I’ve talked about before. Some Gems and some clever humans, would dedicate themselves to trying to understand the newer Gem technology they’re starting to see.

With inventive people like Bismuth to build their own version of it.

The actual Gem Technology will be locked away in the temple- or whatever name I may give it- but the remake versions that the Crystal Gems turn out will be spread far and wide.

I’m just thinking off the top of my head, but it’d be like- if they tried to make their own version of the gem destabiliser, it would be like a giant tuning fork hooked up to something similar to a large Baghdad Battery (google it, it’s kinda cool) that they would carry in a backpack.

The war would carry on like that, with Homeworld making new tech to combat the threat, sooner or later the rebellion captures some, they make their own version of it, and Homeworld makes new tech to combat the threat.

This drain on resources does take its toll on Homeworld though, and their war against earth is perhaps much shorter, between 300 and 800 years, I haven’t decided yet.

Things do play out similar to canon though. Homeworld decides to abandon earth as a lost cause, implant the Cluster so they’ll get something out of the deal and the three Diamonds blast the earth with their powers as a final middle finger to the rebels.

Gems are destroyed, except for the original Crystal Gems, and Bismuth! Canon Bismuth made a lot of regular weapons and armour and the rebellion was still losing. She was driven to making the Breaking Point because she didn’t think they had a chance of winning any other way. In this new canon, however, because Bismuth was working on newer and newer weapons all the time, each one she was confident would help turn the tide of the war, she never had chance to work on the ultimate weapon of the Breaking Point. She may have designed it, or may have the idea kicking around the back of her mind, but never got around to building it. 

Rose does her thing of finding somewhere isolated to live in both peace and regret for the war. This is where the Crystal Gems become isolationists

With the Gems gone, humans are left to their own devices with all this more advanced technology than they should have in this point in history. Tech continues to develop with this head start.

Fast forward to the year 1929 and people are living lives as you’d see in the Fallout universe in the 2070′s. Nuclear fulled cars, robot assistants, laser rifles and power armour and all that other stuff.

The reason I chose 1929 is two-fold. The first Fallout game was set 84 years after the nuclear war, and 84 years after 1929 is the year 2013; the year Steven Universe first aired.

The failing of the world is the same reason the Fallout universe failed. Resources started to become scarce, wars started over what remained and the whole thing was escalated by a race that may have been too young to fully understand the forces they were really dealing with, having come a long way, but still too fast, thanks to the ancient interference.

Nuclear hellfire rained down and some people took their shelter in the vaults, while everyone else had to find ways to survive outside.

Rose and the Gems stick to their isolation as humanity all but wipes itself out. Rose is heartbroken to see the beautiful world that she fought so hard for, so easily destroyed. There can be a lot to explore there. Maybe Rose will leave the group, maybe she’ll just wander off and be alone a lot but still return to the temple eventually. I haven’t decided yet.

Perhaps all the gems will have some additional guilt, knowing that their old tech is what pushed humanity so far so fast.

Fast forward 70 years and Rose meets a travelling wastelander named Greg. They fall in love. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail here mostly because I haven’t really thought too much about it, but partly because I know I want it to be explored within the story itself to show how different from canon it would be. Not just the flashback elements from “Story for Steven,” and "We Need to Talk," with a Fallout flair. I want to work out some other nice adventures to bring them together.

Rose and Greg come back to Beach City with Rose expecting their baby.

Steven is born and the Gems immediately take custody, with the logic that their secure base is a better place for Steven to grow up than the harsh wasteland. Greg is allowed to visit as often as he likes, but not stay there. Nor is Steven allowed off the base. They want to protect the legacy of their leader, Rose.

I’m going to say that Steven starts showing hints of Gem powers around 10 years old. Nothing he can control. Perhaps his Gem glows when he’s really happy, if he falls down some steps his bubble forms but immediately pops so it’s just enough to save him from injury. Little things like that.

But this serves as a point where The Gems start “encouraging” Greg to visit less and leave the raising of Steven to them, as his upbringing has now become “Gem Business”

Steven may have snuck off the base once or twice to see the world beyond the base, but after this he’ll do it a lot more often to see his dad and the Beach City settlement.

I think Bismuth suspects he sneaks off but both can’t prove it, and doesn’t want to try and prove it, Garnet knows but says nothing, both of them are letting Steven have his fun, and Pearl has no idea he does it.

Amethyst is not part of the group in the beginning, she’s out as part of a raider gang somewhere. Thank you to theyarheeguy for giving me that idea, and many others, to work with.

A total of 84 years after the bombs dropped, Steven is now 12 years old, sneaking off the base for another visit to town, when he spots a pretty young girl dressed in a strange blue jumpsuit, emerging from a hidden trapdoor that was underneath the old Beach City water-tower.

Steven is 12 because I believe that’s how old he was when the show started. Based on the timeline, the passing of the seasons and so on, he has to have a 13th birthday that we don’t see on screen, before we do see his 14th birthday.

[willowcrowned]

I just read your most recent sith Obi-wan au and you mentioned in the tags you have another sith au in the works. Yes please we do want to read your ramblings !!! And fics!!! on another sith au. Or ANY au. If it’s in a fic format all the better but ramblings are great and funny as well!

Ahh thank you >-< I’m so glad you’re enjoying my AU ideas as much as I am!!

The Sith AU I mentioned is actually one already on this blog! You can find it here. What I wrote for it was basically just me sorting out the lore for that AU via Zannah talking about herself and her life to a young Obi-Wan. I didn’t think it would be particularly interesting to anyone, but since you asked, here it is:

 “What do you have against these new Sith?” Obi-Wan asks with a grimace, wincing as he applies bacta to the blaster burn. “Not that I think you don’t have a good reason, I just—”

“Would like to know why, exactly, you’re getting shot?” Zannah gives him an amused half-smile, though it turns regretful when her gaze alights on the burns. “You remember what I told you of my old master?”

“Darth Bane,” Obi-Wan answers. “You said he lacked foresight.”

“Yes.” Zannah frowns. “My old master was... clever. I’ll give him that. But the wars drove him closer and closer to the brink of madness. At the end, he was all desperation and no planning. He was terrified that the Sith wouldn’t survive— that our knowledge, our ways would be gone forever.” She smiles ruefully. “It might have been better for the galaxy if they had been destroyed.”

“No!” Obi-Wan protests, with a vehemence that surprises even him.  

Zannah raises an eyebrow, gaze soft. “The Sith were destructive, Apprentice. They still are. Loss of knowledge, loss of culture— both of those are tragic— but more tragic still is the loss of life. Even with our great temples, our ancient history, our songs and our stories, we were still destroyers. The Sith enslaved and killed wantonly, and would do so again if given leave. Be careful what it is you mourn— the loss of knowledge or the loss of the Sith.”

Obi-Wan looks away, trying not to let the sullenness show on his face.  

“I am glad I survived to see you too,” Zannah adds, “You have been a singularly wonderful apprentice, and I would regret it now if you had been left alone.” 

 Obi-Wan's expression softens, and Zannah gives him a fond look before returning to her story.

“In any case, Bane saw the problem with our ever-spreading way of life, and inverted it, taking it to the other extreme. At the time, I said nothing— I had nothing to say. He would not be persuaded. When the time came, I struck him down as he had asked, leaving the imprint of his spirit in the tombs of Korriban.”

‘When I left, I did not take an apprentice for nearly a century. Part of it was self-preservation— I had no desire for a Jedi to catch wind of the last of the Sith— and part of it was simply that there was no one who met my standards. The war had left the galaxy torn apart, and everyone was too full of fear for the sort of training I wished to conduct. Eventually I did find one— a Kryotian from the oceans of Iulia— and I trained him, teaching him the Rule of Two. Eventually, he killed me, and took the mantle of Sith Master for himself. After that, I lived on a small moon in the Outer Rim—”

“I thought you said you were killed,” Obi-Wan interjects.  

“Am I not alive now?” Zannah smiles. “But in this case, you are correct. I allowed him to think he had bested me. I had grown tired of being the last of the Sith. I felt it was time someone else take that mantle.”

“Why didn’t you just ignore the Rule of Two? He didn’t have to kill you.”

“To tell the truth, my dear,” she says, “I had grown tired of the dark. Bane died before I was fully consumed, and since I used it sparingly to avoid being caught, I was still myself by the time I took an apprentice. Even as I taught my apprentice to use it, I could feel myself slipping away— pragmatism becoming cruelty, pride becoming arrogance. What I’m teaching you now— I had yet to come up with the idea. I allowed him to think he had killed me, and moved on with my life, barely using the Force.’

‘That was when I happened upon Atén— a mandalorian. She was clever, accomplished, and very kind— and absolutely infuriating. I loved her dearly.” Zannah has a distant look on her face. “I could not dishonor myself while she loved me; I would not cause her pain by failing to keep myself in check. And when I failed, though I tried, it was she who grounded me, acted as my moral compass when I had none, gave me a reason to keep from Falling.’

‘You see now why attachments grounded in the light are so important. There must be reason to counteract madness, honor to counteract duplicity, kindness to counteract cruelty. We are none of us alone, Obi-Wan. To act as if we are— to force ourselves to operate as if we have no one to rely on— that is what dooms us.”

“And what if our attachments lead us to dishonor? What if we’re consumed by them?”

Zannah looks at him wryly. “You’re quite a baby Jedi, aren’t you?”

Obi-Wan blushes, ashamed.

“That was a compliment, Apprentice. Only a Jedi child would think to ask a question like that, but I think it was a good one.” Zannah watches as Obi-Wan turns his attentions back to his injuries. “What you speak of is overwhelming fear, of presumption, of the mistakes that come from believing that we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from all harm. That is not possible— and more importantly, it is not something the person who loves you should want. If you choose the person to whom you give respect, love, and loyalty carefully, if they are good and brave and kind, they will not ask selfish things of you. You must listen to them, let them hold you to better things than an obsessive, consuming, love.”

“That,” Obi-Wan says, “sounds very Jedi.”

“They’re not wrong about everything,” Zannah admits, then adds, with an impish smile, “just most things.”

“You still haven’t told me why you hate the new Sith.”

Zannah inclines her head in agreement. “My apologies for getting derailed. Where my master lacked foresight, these new Sith lack perspective. Plagueis and Sidious both dream of immortality, of an eternal empire that lasts past the death of every sun in our galaxy. They fear death too much to realize that such a thing is impossible. Death comes for us all.”

“But isn’t that what you did with your holocron? Escape death?”

“Cheeky,” Zannah remarks, “and not entirely incorrect. Just because I have delayed my death, Apprentice, doesn’t mean that I don’t accept its inevitability. I quite enjoy living— I have no plans to stop any time soon— but one day I will have to give up this form, as I gave up my previous one, and return to the Force. What those Sith dream of is never dying, never failing— becoming as perfect as the Force they draw from.”

“And that’s impossible.”

Zannah nods. “Even now, I can feel them beginning to create their own doom. A vergence in the Force nears, born of their meddling— a remedy to the damage they cause.”

Obi-Wan frowns. “If they’re dooming themselves, why are we fighting them?”

“Because, my dear apprentice,” Zannah says with a sharp, hungry, light in her eyes. “I want to feel their consciousnesses crumble under my fingertips, and watch them realize that there was no place they could lock me away that I would not escape from. I want them to know that they are pretenders to the old thrones of the Sith. I want them to see me, and know what power truly is.”

[fandomgodmother420]

Okay so I saw

This post ^^

And I was like

Wait wait wait okay okay hang on wait a damn minute-

Because this is cursed rite we all know this is cursed but somethin about it got me thinkin it got me thinking quite a lot and it’s the idea of Callahans character being deaf and like obviously the way it’s done here is bad but it got me thinking okay well what if you did it well? What if it wasn’t garbage? What if it became a super important part of the show?

I think I have a new favorite au now?

Okay listen listen let me explain right-Callahan would still be a side character to the side characters but first things first he’d talk using sign language and literally the first thing that he signs when people try and talk to him is that he’s deaf. He also wouldn’t be able to understand people who talk to him, they’d have to either sign, write something down, or be super expressive. (Ik a lot of deaf people read lips but I feel like in media with deaf people almost all the time they like fully rely on lip reading and their almost superhumanly good at it and idk I think it would be cool for a deaf character to just not lip read-hardly ever) so now the fact that he’s deaf isn’t just something that you can drop in interviews for brownie points. Still, he’s hardly ever there and he’s not really a part of the story and that’s just kind of annoying and for a while it seems like that’s just how it’s gonna be, just one background background deaf character who’s pretty cool but who we almost never get to see...

But the explosions that went off during the pogtopia manburg war where pretty fuckin loud

And Quackity was right on top of them. He might’ve lost a cannon life to them-it’s kinda up for debate but for the purpose of the au we’re gonna say he did, because losing a cannon life affects your body. Your body changes to suit how you died-you get scars from losing a cannon life.

Here’s where it gets good

One of the next episodes post war is 100% Quackity focused and he wakes up in a bed and he’s like welp lets just hope I’m not as bad off as Tubbo was. There’s no rustling noise when he moves the sheets and blankets to look at himself, at this point the viewer might realize there’s no music in the background either, there’s no ambient noises from outside. Quackity sees he doesn’t have visible scaring anywhere and he’s like that’s weird but good for me? I guess? He walks outside and his footsteps don’t make any noise. Tubbo runs up to him and starts talking-except he’s not making any noise either. His mouth is moving but there’s no sound coming out of it. Both quackity and the viewer are currently experiencing what’s going on in 100% silence and Quackity starts to panic. A scar would’ve been fine, a limb he can live without, but this??? He can’t hear! He can’t hear anything! Fuck is he supposed to do now?

He runs to Sapnap and Karl, they’re not dating yet but they make him feel safe and he doesn’t know where else to go or what to do and Sapnaps like “I know a guy” but neither the audience nor Quackity hears him say it. His mouth moves but again, no sound. Nothing. Still he makes it clear that he has an idea and that he’ll be right back. Mans fuckin books it to Callahan and after a bit of frantic gestures and sloppy sign language because ya know of course Sapnap did try to learn sign to talk to Callahan at some point he just doesn’t practice nearly enough, Callahan comes over to Quackity and starts teaching him and Karl ASL and gives Sapnap a much needed review course.

That’s it. That’s the episode. An entire episode that’s 100% silent with no subtitles, that’s just Quackity learning how to function without being able to hear. In the places where Callahan can’t help Sapnap and Karl come in. Tubbo gets in on it too since he’s deaf in one ear ever since the festival. (Quackitys like damn cheif I didn’t even kno that and Tubbo admits to thinking it was just him being in shock for a long time until a bee flew around his ear for 20 minutes straight a week after the festival had happened and he didn’t know it was there until Tommy asked if he was gonna name it.) Quackity learns how to talk when he can’t hear himself speaking, how to read lips, what music is like when you can’t hear it, how to speak sign language, all that jazz.

One of the things about being deaf that scares the shit out of Quackity is not being able to hear people sneaking up on him and Tubbos like “oh you need a spotter” and Quackity makes it clear that he has no idea what the fuck that means. So Tubbo explains “a spotter, I don’t know if they actually have a different name but I call them that cuz they cover your blind spot. They’re like your eyes and ears where you don’t have any. That way nobody can sneak up on you.” If the audience is particularly observant they’ll realize that ever since the festival Tommy has always stood on Tubbos right, witch is where Tubbo had gotten scarred. (Later on after Tommy’s exiled Quackity and sometimes Fundy become the ones to cover Tubbos right, but Tubbo is more clearly on constant high alert than he used to be. On a few days like the one before the capturing techno and the one before the second festival he’s straight up jumpy and he hates it) So Quackity of course has a lot of questions is this is pretty important. “well how do I know who I should get to be my spotter? Do they need like training or something? Should I just get a service dog? ???” And Tubbos like “No. Well-maybe that’s the proper way to do it but I’d just go with someone I trust my life with-whoever makes you feel safest, go with that” and Sapnap and Karl start laughing like idiots because Quackity IMMEDIATELY grabs them-like Tubbos barley finished his sentence and Quackitys like ah yes

The hardest part is preserving Quackitys ability to speak Spanish, because he’s the only one who knows it so Karl Sapnap and Tubbo can’t tell him weather he’s pronouncing it right or not and none of them know Spanish sign language. Hell Karl and Tubbo didn’t even know Spanish sign language existed until that day. After a bit of panicking Sapnap is like “wait I know a guy” and Quackity can actually tell what he’s saying this time. (Woo parallels) So sapnap and Co. go to George who’s king now and has access to all of Erets king stuff. Turns out Erets castle has a whole shelf of translation guides for different languages and their sign language counterparts. She kept them for diplomacy reasons. It’s much harder to learn without Callahan teaching it, but progress is made and the gang decides they’ll keep working on learning it together. There’s still the problem of Quackity not being able to speak Spanish though, they end up going with does Quackity sound like how he normally does rn? for figuring out if he’s pronouncing things right. Karl and Sapnap are surprisingly good at being able to tell.

But here’s the best part rite:

So after this episode Quackity, Karl, Sapnap, Tubbo, and obvs Callahan all know sign language-they don’t all know it perfectly nobody’s gonna master it in a day but they’re working on it. And so now in later episodes in addition to the gang talking in sign language a lot when they’re the focus of a scene, you can make them talk to eachother in sign language while other stuff is going on!! No subtitles to translate or draw attention to it, some people might not even notice its happening, but if you watch them you can see them signing to eachother. You could add so many convos and lore and secrets and the best part is if the audience wants in on it they also have to learn sign language!!

Literally just-oh my god it would be the coolest thing okay like immagine:

Ranboos doing his dramatic speech to everyone. Y’all know the one-the one before doomsday after Tommy gets out of exhile. So like Ranboos doing his bit and Fundy and Nikki are arguing with him and :0! what’s this? Look in the background and Tubbo and Quackity are signing to eachother, Quackitys angry and Tubbo is somehow angrier and you watch them more closely to see what the hell is going on and realize (with your sign language knowledge)-they’re fighting about executing Ranboo.

LIKE HOW FUCKING COOL WOULD THAT BE HOLY SHIT

Anyways I have so many headcannons for this now I think it’s the coolest thing if there’s like a tag? Or something? For this thatd be so fuckin cool if there isn’t I feel like I should make one but idk what to call it ion know man I just think this is poggers as hell. To think it all sprung from someone making a DreamSMP as a garbage riverdale show joke

[unearted]

more info on the monk priestesses (nuns? kind of) with 1) two most common types of uniform 2) some staff designs. more me talking about their lore n stuff below the cut

first some general information. they live in a big monastery in the mountains. the closest valley has a town and the nuns offer both medical care and spiritual services to those living there. when the town is under attack, they help as well. they aren’t big trading partners though - the monastery feeds itself and i imagine they’d also spun and weave their own fabrics but i’m not really sure about that yet.

also general information about their goddess - divine feminine, Lady Of Life And Death, magic goddess. can’t really put her next to an arleady existing goddess i know since there’s a lot of stuff i draw inspiration from. somewhere between goddess of magic, fate, but also seasons a bit. simply lady of nature’s life and death

second on the uniform. they’re quite loose and can be made in a way that doesn’t require a lot of tailoring (most often they do tailor it a bit for their own comfort). it’s considered bad taste to put a lot of decor on the clothes, except for the arm wraps that are often colorful and hand dyed/embroidered.

when they go out they wear gambeson (padded) armor and leather shoes, when moving around the monastery they often go with shirt, armwraps, skirt/pants and sandals. during fights or fight practice they wear pleated chest armor

it’s super informal to not wear armwraps and have the shirt loose (the shirt is loose and when wrapping, the shirt’s pushed back to create the poof). they don’t have to wear wraps in their quarters but they would do it for example during meals

the another thing about uniform is the pants vs skirt thing - there aren’t any rules on that, but it’s more common for fighters to wear pants most of the time simply because of their fighting style and a maxi skirt would cause issues. skirts are more popular with healers and ranged fighters. most of the meelee fighters have a fighting style akin to martial arts, though some are more tanky (i think that’s how you’d describe it). there are also no rules on hair except for battle efficiency for fighters, hairwraps and hairdresses are common and one of the only two fashion-ish items (both accessories for hair and the wraps are customizable)

third the staffs! they’re made of magical wood that grows in the monastery garden. when the nuns take in a kid, they assign them a little plot in the Staff Garden (name to be reworked). for all monastery people between age 10 and 20 there are meditation classes to connect with their goddess and their seedling/growing staff. during the meditation classes the energy of the nun and the energy of the seedling come together and with the goddess’ blessing, the seedling grows into a staff. the age brackets aren’t as formal and can be delayed for one or two years (when a kid is taken in later in life or when a staff takes longer to grow)

because every person is different, their staff also grows differently, very often to match the abilities they arleady posses. most staffs have a pattern of a deviation in growth near the bottom and then full custom thing in the top. the bottom is joked by nuns to be “placed there by the goddess so the kids won’t get discouraged” and that is indeed often the case

the distinct shape on the bottom also serves a sign as to in which area the child should begin training. for example the second staff from the left has a little blob of energy, which paired with the childs gentle personality could suggest a healer position. the staff third from the left has a specific dent in an otherwise straight staff which is common in fighters (the monastery general fighting style includes the dent. unique fighting style is developed on their own later. also the spikes are pretty on the nose)

i’ve realized that i forgot to mention something that might or might not be obvious and it’s that once the kid starts growing the staff at the age of 10, the staff stays in the ground until they reach 20. then they just. pluck it out kind of. the staff grows at a different pace for everybody so there aren’t a lot of very big ceremonies. (like, there aren’t any staff proms, it’s more like a birthday when you’re older and don’t want to remember that you age so you don’t do a party but still a few people call you up and give you a gift)

kids that will clearly be fighters get fighting classes, those with arleady developed bottoms of the staffs often also practice with the man-made ones. there are also herbalism/gardening classes and all kids attend both types because. you mostly need fighters during a war and wars don’t happen that often

ok ! that was long. i simply care them and think about them. wish i had energy/ideas to put them in some sort of story

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About Loki (Season One)

(Sorry this is later than it should have been. I may or may not be experiencing burnout from reviewing every episode of the gayest show Disney has ever produced)

Salutations, random people on the internet. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Do you want to know what's fun about the Marvel Cinematic Universe? It is now officially at the point where the writers can do whatever the hell they want.

A TV series about two Avengers getting stuck in a series of sitcoms as one of them explores their personal grief? Sure.

Another series as a guy with metal bird wings fights the inner racism of his nation to take the mantel of representing the idea of what that nation should be? Why not?

A forgettable movie about a superspy and her much more mildly entertaining pretend family working together to kill the Godfather? F**king go for it (Let that be a taste for my Black Widow review in October)!

There is no limit to what you can get with these movies and shows anymore, and I personally consider that a good thing. It allows this franchise to lean further into creative insanity, thus embracing its comic roots in the process. Take Loki, for example. It is a series about an alternate version of one of Marvel's best villains bouncing around the timeline with Owen Wilson to prevent the end of the universe. It sounds like just the right amount of wackiness that it should be too good to fail.

But that's today's question: Did it fail? To find out my own answer to that, we're gonna have to dive deep into spoilers. So be wary as you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Loki Himself: Let's get this out of the way: This isn't the same Loki we've seen grow within five movies. The Loki in this series, while similar in many ways, is still his very own character. He goes through his own redemption and developments that fleshes out Loki, all through ways that, if I'm being honest with you, is done much better in six-hour-long episodes than in past films. Loki's story was already entertaining, but he didn't really grow that much aside from being this chaotic neutral character instead of this wickedly evil supervillain. Through his series, we get to see a gradual change in his personality, witnessing him understand his true nature and "glorious purpose," to the point where he's already this completely different person after one season. Large in part because of the position he's forced into.

Some fans might say that the series is less about Loki and more about the TVA. And while I can unquestionably see their point, I still believe that the TVA is the perfect way for Loki to grow. He's a character all about causing chaos and controlling others, so forcing him to work for an organization that takes that away allows Loki time to really do some introspection. Because if his tricks don't work, and his deceptions can't fool others, then who is he? Well, through this series, we see who he truly is: A character who is alone and is intended to be nothing more than a villain whose only truly selfless act got him killed in the end. Even if he wants to better himself, he can't because that "goes against the sacred timeline." Loki is a person who is destined to fail, and he gets to see it all with his own eyes by looking at what his life was meant to be and by observing what it could have been. It's all tragic and yet another example of these shows proving how they allow underdeveloped characters in the MCU a better chance to shine. Because if Loki can give even more depth to a character who's already compelling as is, then that is a feat worth admiration.

The Score: Let's give our gratitude toward Natalie Holt, who f**king killed it with this series score. Every piece she made is nothing short of glorious. Sylvie's and the TVA's themes particularly stand out, as they perfectly capture who/what they're representing. Such as how Sylvie's is big and boisterous where the TVA's sound eerie and almost unnatural. Holt also finds genius ways to implement other scores into the series, from using familiar tracks from the Thor movies to even rescoring "Ride of the Valkyries" in a way that makes a scene even more epic than it already could have been. The MCU isn't best known for its musical scores, partly because they aim to be suitable rather than memorable. But every now and again, something as spectacular as the Loki soundtrack sprinkles through the cracks of mediocrity. Making fans all the more grateful because of it.

There’s a lot of Talking: To some, this will be considered a complaint. Most fans of the MCU come for the action, comedy, and insanely lovable characters. Not so much for the dialogue and exposition. That being said, I consider all of the talking to be one of Loki's best features. All the background information about the TVA added with the character's backstories fascinates me, making me enthusiastic about learning more. Not everyone else will be as interested in lore and world-building as others, but just because something doesn't grab you, in particular, doesn't mean it isn't appealing at all. Case in point: There's a reason why the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise has lasted as long as it has, and it's not entirely because of how "scary" it is.

There's also the fact that most of the dialogue in Loki is highly engaging. I'll admit, some scenes do drag a bit. However, every line is delivered so well that I'm more likely to hang on to every word when characters simply have honest conversations with each other. And if I can be entertained by Loki talking with Morbius about jetskis, then I know a show is doing at least something right.

It’s Funny: This shouldn't be a surprise. The MCU is well-known for its quippy humor in the direct acknowledgment that it doesn't take itself too seriously. With that said, it is clear which movies and shows are intended to be taken seriously, while others are meant to be comedies. Loki tries to be a bit of both. There are some heavy scenes that impact the characters, and probably even some fans, due to how well-acted and professionally written they can be. However, this is also a series about a Norse god traveling through time to deal with alternate versions of himself, with one of them being an alligator. I'd personally consider it a crime against storytelling to not make it funny. Thankfully, the writers aren't idiots and know to make the series fun with a few flawlessly timed and delivered jokes that never really take away from the few good grim moments that actually work.

It Kept Me Surprised: About everything I appreciate about Loki, the fact that I could never really tell what direction it was going is what I consider its absolute best feature. Every time I think I knew what was going to happen, there was always this one big twist that heavily subverted any and every one of my expectations. Such as how each time I thought I knew who the big bad was in this series, it turns out that there was an even worse threat built up in the background. The best part is that these twists aren't meant for shock value. It's always supposed to drive the story forward, and on a rewatch, you can always tell how the seeds have been planted for making each surprise work. It's good that it kept fans guessing, as being predictable and expected would probably be the worst path to take when making a series about Loki, a character who's all about trickery and deception. So bonus points for being in line with the character.

The TVA: You can complain all you want about how the show is more about the TVA than it is Loki, but you can't deny how the organization in question is a solid addition to the MCU. Initially, it was entertaining to see Loki of all characters be taken aback by how the whole process works. And it was worth a chuckle seeing Infinity Stones, the most powerful objects in the universe, get treated as paperweights. However, as the season continues and we learn about the TVA, the writers show that their intention is to try and write a message about freedom vs. control. We've seen this before in movies like Captain America: The Winter Soldier or Captain America: Civil War, but with those films, it always felt like the writers were leaning more towards one answer instead of making it obscure over which decision is correct. This is why I enjoy the fact that Loki went on saying that there really is no right answer for this scenario. If the TVA doesn't prune variants, it could result in utter chaos and destruction that no one from any timeline can prepare themselves for. But when they do prune variants along with their timelines, it takes away all free will, forcing people to be someone they probably don't even want to be. It's a situation where there really is no middle ground. Even if you bring up how people could erase timelines more destructive than others, that still takes away free will on top of how there's no unbiased way of deciding which timelines are better or worse. And the series found a brilliant way to explain this moral: The season starts by showing how the TVA is necessary, to later point out how there are flaws and evil secrets within it, and ends things with the revelation that there are consequences without the TVA keeping the timeline in check. It's an epic showcase of fantastic ideas met with exquisite execution that I can't help but give my seal of approval to.

Miss Minutes: Not much to say. This was just a cute character, and I love that Tara Strong, one of the most popular voice actors, basically plays a role in the MCU now.

Justifying Avengers: Endgame: Smartest. Decision. This series. Made. Bar none.

Because when you establish that the main plot is about a character getting arrested for f**king over the timeline, you're immediately going to get people questioning, "Why do the Avengers get off scot-free?" So by quickly explaining how their time-traveling antics were supposed to happen, it negates every one of those complaints...or most of them. There are probably still a-holes who are poking holes in that logic, but they're not the ones writing this review, so f**k them.

Mobius: I didn't really expect Owen Wilson to do that good of a job in Loki. Primarily due to how the Cars franchise discredits him as a professional actor for...forever. With that said, Owen Wilson's Mobius might just be one of the most entertaining characters in the series. Yes, even more so than Loki himself. Mobius acts as the perfect straight man to Loki's antics, what with being so familiar with the supposed god of mischief through past variations of him. Because of that, it's always a blast seeing these two bounce off one another through Loki trying to trick a Loki expert, and said expert even deceiving Loki at times. Also, on his own, Mobius is still pretty fun. He has this sort of witty energy that's often present in Phil Coulson (Love that character too, BTW), but thanks to Owen Wilson's quirks in his acting, there's a lot more energy to Mobius than one would find in Coulson. As well as a tad bit of tragedy because of Mobius being a variant and having no clue what his life used to be. It's a lot to unpack and is impressively written, added to how it's Owen Wilson who helps make the character work as well as he did. Cars may not have done much for his career, but Loki sure as hell showed his strengths.

Ravonna Renslayer: Probably the least entertaining character, but definitely one of the most intriguing. At least to me.

Ravonna is a character who is so steadfast in her believes that she refuses to accept that she may be wrong. Without the proper writing, someone like Ravonna could tick off (ha) certain people. Personally, I believe that Ravonna is written well enough where even though I disagree with her belief, I can understand where she's coming from. She's done so much for the TVA, bringing an end to so many variants and timelines that she can't accept that it was all for nothing. In short, Ravonna represents the control side of the freedom vs. control theme that the writers are pushing. Her presence is necessary while still being an appealing character instead of a plot device. Again, at least to me.

Hunter B-15: I have no strong feelings one way or another towards B-15's personality, but I will admit that I love the expectation-subversion done with her. She has this air of someone who's like, "I'm this by-the-books badass cop, and I will only warm up to this cocky rookie after several instances of them proving themselves." That's...technically not B-15. She's the first to see Loki isn't that bad, but only because B-15 is the first in the main cast to learn the hidden vile present in the TVA. It makes her change in point of view more believable than how writers usually work a character like hers, on top of adding a new type of engaging motivation for why she fights. I may not particularly enjoy her personality, but I do love her contributions.

Loki Watching What His Life Could Have Been: This was a brilliant decision by the writers. It's basically having Loki speedrun his own character development through witnessing what he could have gone through and seeing the person he's meant to be, providing a decent explanation for why he decides to work for the TVA. And on the plus side, Tom Hiddleston did a fantastic job at portraying the right emotions the character would have through a moment like this. Such as grief, tearful mirth, and borderline shock and horror. It's a scene that no other character could go through, as no one but Loki needed a wake-up call for who he truly is. This series might heavily focus on the TVA, but scenes like this prove just who's the star of the show.

Loki Causing Mischief in Pompeii: I just really love this scene. It's so chaotic and hilarious, all heavily carried by the fact that you can tell that Tom Hiddleston is having the time of his damn life being this character. What more can I say about it.

Sylvie: The first of many surprises this season offered, and boy was she a great one.

Despite being an alternate version of Loki, I do appreciate that Sylvie's her own character and not just "Loki, but with boobs." She still has the charm and charisma, but she also comes across as more hardened and intelligent when compared to the mischievous prick we've grown to love. A large part of that is due to her backstory, which might just be the most tragic one these movies and shows have ever made. Sylvie got taken away when she was a little girl, losing everything she knew and loved, and it was all for something that the people who arrested her don't even remember. How sad is that? The fact that her life got permanently screwed over, leaving zero impact on the people responsible for it. As badass as it is to hear her say she grew up at the ends of a thousand worlds (that's an album title if I ever heard one), it really is depressing to know what she went through. It also makes her the perfect candidate to represent the freedom side of the freedom vs. control argument. Because she's absolutely going to want to fight to put an end to the people who decide how the lives of trillions should be. Those same people took everything from Sylvie, and if I were in her position, I'd probably do the same thing. Of course, we all know the consequences that come from this, and people might criticize Sylvie the same way they complain about Thor and Star Lord for screwing over the universe in Avengers: Infinity War. But here's the thing: Sylvie's goals are driven by vengeance, which can blind people from any other alternatives. Meaning her killing He Who Remains is less of a story flaw and more of a character flaw. It may be a bad decision, but that's for Season Two Sylvie to figure out. For now, I'll just appreciate the well-written and highly compelling character we got this season and eagerly wait as we see what happens next with her.

The Oneshot in Episode Three: Not as epic as the hallway scene in Daredevil, but I do find it impressive that it tries to combine real effects, fighting, and CGI in a way where it's all convincing enough.

Lady Sif Kicking Loki in the D**k: This is a scene that makes me realize why I love this series. At first, I laugh at Loki being stuck in a time loop where Lady Sif kicks him in the d**k over and over again. But a few scenes later, this setup actually works as a character moment that explains why Loki does the things he does.

This series crafted phenomenal character development through Loki getting kicked in the d**k by the most underrated badass of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a perfect balance of comedy and drama that not every story can nail, yet Loki seemed like it did with very little effort.

Classic Loki: This variant shows the true tragedy of being Loki. The only way to survive is to live in isolation, far away from everything and everyone he loves, only to end up having his one good deed result in his death anyways. Classic Loki is definitive proof that no matter what face they have, Lokis never gets happy endings. They're destined to lose, but at least this version knows that if you're going out, you're going out big. And at least he got to go out with a mischievous laugh.

(Plus, the fact that he's wearing Loki's first costume from the comics is a pretty cute callback).

Alligator Loki: Alligator Loki is surprisingly adorable, and if you know me, you know that I can't resist cute s**t. It's not in my nature.

Loki on Loki Violence: If you thought Loki going ham in Pompeii was chaotic, that was nothing to this scene. Because watching these Lokis backstab one another, to full-on murdering each other, is a moment that is best described as pure, unadulterated chaos. And I. Loved. Every. Second of it.

The Opening Logo for the Season Finale: I'm still not that big of a fan of the opening fanfare playing for each episode, but I will admit that it was a cool feature to play vocal clips of famous quotes when the corresponding character appears. It's a great way of showing the chaos of how the "sacred timeline" works without having it to be explained further.

The Citadel: I adore the set design of the Citadel. So much history and backstory shine through the state of every room the characters walk into. You get a perfect picture of what exactly happened, but seeing how ninety percent of the place is in shambles, it's pretty evident that not everything turned out peachy keen. And as a personal note, my favorite aspect of the Citadel is the yellow cracks in the walls. It looks as though reality itself is cracking apart, which is pretty fitting when considering where the Citadel actually is.

He Who Remains: This man. I. Love. This man.

I love this man for two reasons.

A. He's a ton of fun. Credit to that goes to the performance delivered by Jonathon Majors. Not only is it apparent that Majors is having a blast, but he does a great job at conveying how He Who Remains is a strategic individual but is still very much off his rocker. These villains are always my favorite due to how much of a blast it is seeing someone with high intelligence just embracing their own insanity. If you ask me, personalities are always essential for villains. Because even when they have the generic plot to rule everything around them, you're at least going to remember who they are for how entertaining they were. Thankfully He Who Remains has that entertainment value, as it makes me really excited for his eventual return, whether it'd be strictly through Loki Season Two or perhaps future movies.

And B. He Who Remains is a fantastic foil for Loki. He Who Remains is everything Loki wishes he could have been, causing so much death, destruction, and chaos to the multiverse. The important factor is that he does it all through order and control. The one thing Loki despises, and He Who Remains uses it to his advantage. I feel like that's what makes him the perfect antagonist to Loki, thanks to him winning the game by not playing it. I would love it if He Who Remains makes further appearances in future movies and shows, especially given how he's hinted to be Kane the Conqueror, but if he's only the main antagonist in Loki, I'm still all for it. He was a great character in his short time on screen, and I can't wait to see what happens next with him.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Revealing that Loki was D.B. Cooper: A cute scene, but it's really unnecessary. It adds nothing to the plot, and I feel like if it was cut out entirely, it wouldn't have been the end of the world...Yeah. That's it.

That's my one and only complaint about this season.

Maybe some scenes drag a bit, and I guess Episode Three is kind of the weakest, but there's not really anything that this series does poorly that warrants an in-depth complaint.

Nope.

Nothing at all...

…

...

...I'm not touching that "controversy" of Loki falling for Sylvie instead of Mobius. That's a situation where there are no winners.

Only losers.

Exclusively losers.

Other than that, this season was amazing!

IN CONCLUSION

I'd give the first season of Loki a well-earned A, with a 9.5 through my usual MCU ranking system. It turns out, it really is the best type of wackiness that was just too good to fail. The characters are fun and likable, the comedy and drama worked excellently, and the expansive world-building made me really intrigued with the more we learned. It's hard to say if Season Two will keep this momentum, but that's for the future to figure out. For now, let's just sit back and enjoy the chaos.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I have to figure out how to review Marvel's What If...)

[libralita]

Way of Kings Reread

This is my post Rhythm of War reread so if you don’t want spoilers for Rhythm of War then come back later. These are essentially just the notes I took during this read through so things like “Szeth is darkeyed” isn’t really stellar commentary but there are a few interesting things in here. Also this reread was like…very sporadic so I probably missed things.

“A man with a long grey and black beard slumped in the doorway, smiling foolishly—though whether from wine or a weak mind, Szeth could not tell.

‘Have you seen me?’ the man asked with slurred speech. He laughed then began to speak in gibberish, reaching for a wineskin.”—Page 23

 Oh god, it’s Jezrien. Nooooo.

I’m curious to see how Humans being voidbringers plays into Szeth’s punishment.

“Occasionally, light would flash without the thunder. The slaves would groan in terror at this, thinking about the Stormfather, the shades of the Lost Radiants, or the Voidbringers—all of which were said to haunt the most violent highstorms.”

Interesting that they’re called the “shades”, perhaps referring to cognitive shadows?

“Talenelat’Elin, bearer of all agonies.”

Wait…do people know about Taln?

“This room is called the Veil…That which comes before the Palanaeum itself. Both were here when the city was founded. Some think these chambers might have been cut by the Dawnsingers themselves.”

First of all, Veil, haha. Second, interesting bit of lore.

“Thaylens had their own systems of rank.”

I’d like to know what it is.

It’s very interesting that philosophy and history are feminine arts and yet the merchant is still trying to sell Shallan on a romance novel

I wonder if Yalb still has his drawing. It was probably ruined so that sucks.

“There, she used all her remaining sphere to fill of all nine colors and all three sizes.”

Hmmmmmmmm. Nine and three. Interesting

“Then he’d have someone to talk to in Damnation. They could reminisce about how terrible Bridge Four had been, and agree that eternal fires were much more pleasant.”

K…Kaladin please don’t joke about that.

“His ways were odd—though Lirin made certain that his son didn’t mix up the Heralds and the Lost Radiants, Kal had heard his father say that he thought the Voidbringers weren’t real. Ridiculous.”

RIP

“He reached the base of the slop, wind-driven rain pelting his face as if trying to shove him back toward the camp.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

“She looked exhausted. ‘These things are heavy!’ She lifted the leaf. ‘I brought it for you!’”

I love her so much I could cry.

Szeth is a dark eyed.

We need to get the void sphere back.

“It was fairly ordinary, a simple piece of rock with a few quartz crystals set into it and a rusty vein of iron on one side.”

Iron.

“‘Today,’ King Elhokar announced, riding beneath the bright open sky, ‘is an excellent day to slay a god. Wouldn’t you say’”

Owwwwwwwwww my heart

“One might say that gods, as a rule, should fear the Althei nobility. Most of us at least.”

Y’know…Sadeas has a point

Actually they should probably fear Taravangian.

Sadeas wears red plate. I always imagine him in green.

Shardplate is naturally slate gray. I wonder if it’s the same color as what your limbs go if they’re cut by a shardblade. Hmmmm.

“Adolin found himself wishing, passionately, that his father would do a little more these days to live up to that reputation.”

Adolin, sweet pie, NO

I miss Elhokar so much

Also the Thrill of Contest, that’s interesting.

“I felt like a youth again, chasing after your father on some ridiculous challenge.”

Dalinar, we all know that it was Gavilar chasing you

“There was someone watching me in the darkness that night.”

My poor baby…

“‘I defy you, creature!’ Elhokar screamed. ‘I claim your life! They will see their gods crushed, just as they will see their king dead at my feet! I defy you!’”

Elhokar…

“Adolin—stalwart as always—had dismounted beside the king. He tried to stop the claws, striking at them as they fell. Unfortunately, there were four claws and only one of Adolin.”

Hmmmm, Adolin v 4 is becoming a pattern.

“Dalinar should have been there to defend him. Only two things remained of his beloved brother, two things that Dalinar could protect in a hope to earn some form of redemption: Gavilar’s kingdom and Gavilar’s son.”

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Let me first assure you that the element is quite safe. I have found a good home for it. I protect its safety like I protect my own skin, you might say.”

It has been ten years and I still have no idea what this means.

“Kaladin punched Moash right in the gut, where he knew it would wind him. Moash gasped in shock, doubling over, and Kaladin stepped forward to grab him by the legs, slinging Moash over his shoulder.”

Ahhhhh I could read this paragraph over and over again.

“He worked himself ragged. In fact, he felt close to collapsing several times, but every time he did, he found a reserve of strength from somewhere.”

I wonder where.

“Rockbuds had opened nearby, their vines reaching out to lap up the beast’s blood.”

Gross.

Insult his son and the Blackthorn will peek through

“I had…things to be about.”

I don’t like the way Wit said that.

“You going to do Alethkar a favor and rid it of both of us?”

That is a very interesting line for Wit to say…Also concerning. Wit what are you up to?

It’s very interesting that without Sadeas and Gavilar, Dalinar has to learn how to be a politician. It’s clear that both men maneuver others while Dalinar is blunt force. Good character development, I really love it as a political scientist.

“Brother, follow the Codes tonight. There is something strange upon the winds.”

Hmmmmmmmmm, I think Gavilar was planning his death.

“We’d protect Gavilar’s son. No matter what the cost, no matter what other things came between us, we would protect Elhokar.”

…Would…Elhokar have died if Sadeas was still alive?

“The book was used by the Radiants as a kind of guidebook, a book of counsel on how to live their lives.”

That…something that I forgot. Dalinar maybe you should have some required reading in your Radiant generation.

It’s interesting that Shardplate and Rsyhadium have no problem with humans using them but shardblades do.

“Dalinar was shocked that he could remember the story word for word,”

Hmmmmmm

“Could he train himself out of freezing in battle like that?”

End me.

“You sure he’s not decayspren wearing a man’s skin?”

S…Syl…is that a problem we have to deal with?

“They break the land itself! They want it, but in their rage they will destroy it. Like the jealous man burns his rich things rather than let them be taken by his enemies! They come!”

The…humans?

“‘Hm,’ he said. ‘Yes. We’ll be getting right to that soon. It’ll be grand. Lots of prancing, sauntering, and er…’

‘Promenading?’ Yis the leatherworker offered.

‘Isn’t that a type of drink?’ Adolin asked.

‘Er, no, Brightlord. I’m fairly certain it’s another word for walking.’

‘Well, then,’ Adolin said. ‘We’ll do plenty of it too. Promenading. I always love a good promenading.’”

He and Shallan are truly made for each other.

“Highprince Aladar has begun to talk of taking a short vacation back to Althekar. I want to know if he’s serious.”

Oh?

It’s very interesting how Gavilar after death is portrayed as having grown weak and yet there’s so much reverence for him.

Three gods, huh?

It’s interesting that Dalinar can feel the thrill in these visions.

“It was a topaz entwined with a heliodor, both set into a fine metal framework, each stone as big as a man’s hand.”

Is that some kind of fabrial? Is she an edgedancer/truthwatcher? She seemed to have Stoneward shardplate. How confusing. I guess she could have borrowed Shardplate.

DABBID MY SON!

“‘Next time it could be you!’ he called. ‘What will you do if you’re the one that needs healing?’

‘I’ll die.’ Moash said, not even bothering to look back. ‘Out on the field, quickly, rather than back here over a week’s time.’”

Oh that would be so unfortunate.

REREADING THIS BOOK WITH THE TEFT SECTIONS OH OHHHHHHHHH BOY SUFFERING. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

“I was under the impression that you were going to aid the queen in protecting the king’s interests in Alethkar.”

That is interesting to think about. What would have happened in Navani had stayed in Alethkar? Did the Unmade compel Navani to go? Or would she have been under the influence of the Unmade?

“I have determined that the queen is sufficiently endowed with the requisite skills needed to hold Alethkar.”

Uhhhhhhhhhh

“‘Well, I suppose that’s all right,’ she said. ‘I kind of trust Sadeas.’”

Interesting. Also my son, my love, Elhokar...you are so dumb.

“‘You still argue he isn’t a bad king?’ Navani whispered. ‘My poor, distracted, oblivious boy.’”

HE COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT

Ishar is the herald of luck?

WAIT ROION! TURTLE MAN! My baby!

My god I sometimes forget that Dalinar has no fucking chill and no impulse control.

“The Almighty himself depended on the Alethi to train themselves in honorable battle so that when they died, they could join the Heralds’ army and win back the Tranquiline Halls.”

Is that…Honor’s influence or Odium’s? Or has Odium corrupted this idea? Because judging by Rhythm of War, Odium’s end goal was to raise an army from Roshar and then send them across the Cosmere.

“My sense of honor makes me easy to manipulate.”

Whaaaaaat? You Dalinar. Pffttttt Noooooo. Pfffftttttt.

“‘He is well, though you presence here is sorely missed. I’m certain he could use your counsel. He is relying heavily on Brightness Lalai to act as clerk.’

Perhaps that would make Jasnah return. There was little love lost between herself and Sadeas’s cousin, who was the king’s head scribe in he queen’s absence.”

First, there’s another Sadeas we must deal with besides Sadeas’s nephew that I’m sure will be around in arc 2. Second, interesting wonder where that drama stems from.

“They may be a little too stable. The world is changing outside, but the Shin seem determined to remain the same.”

Hmmmmmmmmmm

“Gavarah hadn’t reached her twentieth Weeping when she proposed the theory of the three realms.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. Lemme hear this theory, my dude.

“He reminds me of my uncle Dalinar. Earnest, sincere, concerned.” “We could do with more men like Taravangian,”

I…mmm….aw man…I…that’ll be a yikes for me.

“He found a half-finished bridge. It had eventually grown out of that one plank Kaladin had used.”

ASODFKJSLDFJSLDF JUST LIKE THE FOURTH BRIDGE

“Had something moved in the darkness?”

His spren?

“‘Roshone lets them know he finds them contemptible. And so they scramble to please him.

‘That makes no sense,’ Kal said.

‘It is the way of things,’ Lirin said, playing with one of the spheres on the table, rolling it beneath his fingers. ‘You’ll have to learn this, Kal. When men perceive the world as being right, we are content. But if we see a hole—a deficiency—we scramble to fill it.”

This feels like how Lirin is acting in Rhythm of War.

Y’know it really makes sense why Kabsal would be working for Thaidakar.

Is…Kabsal attempting to get Shallan to join the Ghostbloods? Rhythm of War makes me wonder how honest Kabsal was towards Shallan. Yeah, Jasnah thought Kabsal was just manipulating her but she didn’t say how she knew this.

“He smiled, then drew the bow across the edge of the metal plate, making it vibrate. The sand hopped and bounced, like tiny insects dropped onto something hot.

‘This,’ he said, ‘is called cymatics. The study of pattern that sounds make when interactive with a physical medium.’

As he drew the bow again, the plate made a sound, almost a pure note. It was actually enough to draw a single music spren, which spun for a moment in the air above him, then vanished. Kabsal finished, then gestured to the plate with a flourish.”

Well, Rhythm of War certainly made this more interesting.

“Bridgemen aren’t supposed to survive. There’s something about that. He wouldn’t be able to ask Lamaril. That man had gotten what he deserved, though. If Kaladin had the ability to choose, such would be the end of all lighteyes, the king included.

Your inner Moash is showing.

“I want you to go back into the barrack and tell the men to come out after the storm. Tell them to look up at me tied here. Tell them I’ll open my eyes and look back at them, and they’ll know that I survived.”

No wonder a religion might be forming around Kaladin.

“Teft lingered too, as if thinking to spend the storm with Kaladin. He eventually shook his head, muttering and joined the others. Kaladin thought he heard the man calling himself a coward.”—Page 517

Brandon Sanderson, leave me the fuck alone.

“‘Taking the Dawnsahrds, known to bind any creature voidish or mortal, he crawled up the steps crafted for Heralds, ten strides tall apiece, toward the grand temple above.’—From The Poem of Ista. I have found no modern explanation of what these ‘Dawnshards’ are. They seem ignored by scholars, though talk of them was obviously prevalent among those recording the early mythologies.”—Page 524

Wait…who’s he? And aw man this becomes more relevant in a few years.

“‘Then you’re not a murderer,’ Kaladin said.

‘Not for want of trying.’ Sigzil eyes grew distant. ‘I thought for certain I succeeded. It was not the wisest choice I made. My master…’

‘Is he the one you tried to kill?’

‘No.’”

We need some backstory.

Marabethia sounds similar to Twitter.

“It claimed that humming of all things, could make a Soulcasting more effective.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

“That isn’t the kind of thing the Dawnsingers did. They were healers, kindly spren by the Almighty to care for humans once were forced out of the Tranquiline Halls.”

Is…that right?

“‘We believe that the Voidbringers were real, Shallan. A scourge and plague.. A hundred times they came upon mankind. First casting us from the Tanquiline Halls, then trying to destroy us here on Roshar. They weren’t just spren that hid under rocks, then came out to steal someone’s laundry. They were creatures of terrible destructive power, forged in Damnation creature from hate.’

‘By whom?’ Shallan asked.

‘What?’

‘Who made them? I mean, the Almighty wasn’t likely to have ‘created something from hate.’ So what made them?’

‘Everything has its opposite, Shallan. The Almighty is a force of good. To balance his goodness, the cosmere needed the Voidbringers as his opposite.’”—Pages 634-635

Thaidakar’s reveal really makes Kabsal a more…suspicious character. Like how much does he actually know? How much does Thaidakar actually know? Also, I don’t know if Odium is the opposite of Honor. I guess we’d need all 16 shards names to compare.

“A city where people lived in gigantic, hollowed out stalactites hanging beneath a titanic sheltered ridge.”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

“‘I doubt many would disagree. But I mention these horrors for a purpose. You see, it has been my experience that no matter where you go, you will find some who abuse their power.’ He shrugged. ‘Eye color is not so odd a method, compared to many others I have seen. If you were to overthrow the lighteyes and place yourselves in power, Moash, I doubt that the world would be a very different place. The abuses would still happen. Simply to other people.’

Kaladin nodded slowly, but Moash shook his head. ‘No I’d change the world, Sigzil. And I mean to.’”

Hmmm, yeah that didn’t exactly work out.

“‘That makes you wiser, presumably?’

‘Damnation no,’ Teft said. ‘The only thing it proves is that I’ve more experience staying alive than you.’”

Brandon. Leave. Me. Alone.

“Cenn stopped wheezing. He convulsed once, eyes still open. ‘He watches!’ the boy hissed. ‘The black piper in the night. He holds us in his palm…playing a tune that no man can hear!’”—Page 671

Is…is that a reference to El?

“I’m sorry I drove you to suicide. Here’s some bread.”

How people on this website think Moash’s redemption arch is gonna go.

“‘…why Thaidakar would risk this?’ Amaram was saying, speaking in a soft voice. ‘But who else would it be? The Ghostbloos grow more bold.’”—Page 701

Jasnah was complaining last chapter how she hates being wrong but she was wrong about Shallan’s intentions and that Amaram is not as smart as he seems. Yeah, he’s wrong about who sent the shardbearer to kill him but if I was in the cosmere and someone tried to kill me, I would assume it was Thaidakar. On that note, holy fuck, I need to know what conversation prompted both Gavilar and Amaram to assume that someone trying to kill them had to be Thaidakar. I really hope that Gavilar’s pov is next for KOWT for his death so maybe we could get a conversation where they talk to Thaidakar through cube skype or maybe this avatar (whatever the hell that means.) God Rhythm of War makes this scene so much funnier.

“You’d have changed your mind. In a day or two, you’d have wanted the wealth and prestige—otehrs would have convinced you of it. You’d have demanded that I return them to you. It took hours to decide, but Restares is right—this is what must be done. For the good of Alethkar.”—Page 703

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—this is why we reread—aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Kaladin is going to have some words with Restares.

What happened to Baxil and Av?

?????????????????????????? Why do these two Ardents know about the Physical/Cognitive/Spiritual realm?

“Eight weeks? Forty days of winter at once? That war rare.”—Page 728

Did the weather used to be more consistent on Roshar?

Oh god Rhythm of War has made the Recreance so hard to read.

“If I abandon my principles, then I become something far worse than they. A hypocrite.”—Page 741

A hypocrite is a just a man changing or something. I forget the quote.

“Have you been paying much attention to the conflict between the Tukari and the Emuli?”—Page 753

“And the Tukari are led by that god-priest of theirs, Tezim.”—Page 754

Look at the foreshadowing.

“‘Just as Hatham wishes his partner in negotiations to know of his goodwill, I wish you to know of our goodwill toward you, Brightlord.’

Dalinar frowned. He’d never had much to do with the ardents—his devotary was simple and straightforward. Dalinar got his fill of politics with the court; he had little desire to find more religion. ‘Why? What should it matter if I have goodwill toward you?’

The ardent smiled. ‘We will speak with you again.’ He bowed low and withdrew.”—Pages 756-757

OKAY AT FIRST I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY BECAUSE THE ARDENTS GET VERY MIFFED AT DALINAR IN OATHBRINGER BUT “we” HOLY SHIT THAT’S ONE OF BUG PEOPLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I can imagine why this bug man wants his goodwill because they’re pretty sure he’ll destroy them.

“‘This thing will not happen,’ Rock said. ‘Is impossible to get sphere out of the chasms.’

‘We could swallow them,’ Moash said.

‘You would choke. Spheres are too big, eh?’

‘I’ll better I could do it,’ Moash said. His eyes glittering, reflecting the verdant Stormlight. ‘That’s more money than I’ve ever seen. It’s worth the risk.’”—Page 766

I swear to god, one of these days Moash is going to swallow a sphere.

“You call him the Stormfather, here in Alethkar.”

So people in Alethkar think that Jezerin and the Stormfather are the same person?

“Light grows so distant. The storm never stops. I am broken, and all around me have died. I weep for the end of all things. He has won. Oh, he has beaten us.”

O…Oh man, I hope this isn’t foreshadowing for KOWT.

“We should have expected this, Dalinar thought. We started bringing two armies to a plateau, so they have done the same.”—Page 781

Interesting that Kaladin thought about this when fighting the Fused by Dalinar didn’t fighting the Listeners

“When other men failed, a field of crops got worms in them. When a surgeon failed someone died.”

Well…if your crops fail then you could very much cause a town to starve to death.

“Though there was one thing he clung to. An excuse, perhaps, like the dead emperor. It was the soul of the wretch. Apathy. The belief that nothing was his fault, the belief that he couldn’t change anything. If a man was cursed, or believe he didn’t have to care, then he didn’t need to hurt when he failed. Those failures couldn’t have been prevented. Someone or something else had ordained them.”

Those are some fucking foils right there.

“They watch me. Always. Waiting. I see their face in mirrors. Symbols, twisted, inhuman…”

Babbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbby

“I wish to sleep. I know now why you do what you do, and I hate you for it. I will not speak of the truths I see.”

The sibling?

“I’d surrendered my plans, but you’ve returned them to me. I’ll guard you with my life, Kaladin. I swear it to you, by the blood of my fathers.”—Page 881

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

LISTEN I KNOW ELHOKAR IS AN IDIOT BUT HE’S MY IDIOT

“The further you look, the more pieces that wind breaks into.”—Page 995

That’s interesting

“A champion could work well for you, but it is not certain. And…without the Dawnshards…”—Page 997

Well, we’ll see how Rysn plays into this.

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog  Ch.4-6

This arc is called “Sword Dancer”, and I have no idea why, since they never call Anderson’s weapons anything other than “blades”.   Are they swords?   Maybe, but you never see him dance.  

The story starts at an orphanage, where Alexander Anderson is a priest there, settling a fight between two boys.   He sounds gentle and patient at first, until he tells them that the only thing they should be fighting are demons and heathens.   That pretty much sums up the character.   His mercy and compassion are almost entirely confined to the membership of the Catholic Church.   

Then another priest shows up and informs him of all the vampire incidents going on in the U.K.  Anderson doesn’t much care, since it only means more dead Protestants, right?  Except this latest incident is happening in Northern Ireland.  

So this neatly sets up one of the major conflicts within Hellsing.  Kouta Hirano took the vampire lore from Dracula and expanded it into a sort of 20th Century Cold War thing.   Instead of a single vampire hunter using crosses and holy water, we have an entire government agency, a secret service steeped in religious imagery.    But that religion isn’t a homogeneous thing.   Christendom has splintered a few times over the centuries.   Most notably, there was the East-West Schism of 1054, which saw the Eastern Orthodox Church separated from the Roman Catholic, and the Protestant Reformation that began in 1517.

I’m not sure how much research Kouta Hirano did into this topic, because he seems to have distilled the whole thing down into two major vampire-hunting groups, the Catholic “Section XIII” also known as the “Iscariot Organization”, and the Protestant Hellsing Organization.   Hellsing only bothers with vampire stuff in the United Kingdom, while Catholic Ireland is under the protection of the Iscariots.

Presumably, the Iscariots are tasked with protecting other Catholic nations as well, and maybe other Protestant countries have their own vampire-hunting sqauds to mirror Hellsing, but this overlooks the bigger issue: Catholics and Protestant populations don’t just fit neatly inside of political borders.   There’s plenty of Catholics inside Great Britain, for example, so it’s kind of glib for Anderson to write off British casualties as “not my problem”.  

And I think Hirano recognizes this, which is how Northern Ireland ends up in this story.    All of Ireland was British territory until 1921, when it was partitioned.   Southern Ireland became an independent nation, while Northern Ireland wanted to remain in the U.K., so it did.   This has caused no small amount of conflict in the decades since, and Hirano uses it here rather effectively.    There’s a treaty between Iscariot and Hellsing, one that recognizes Northern Ireland as their territory, but Iscariot still sees a duty to protect the minority Catholic population.  

So Anderson is sent to deal with the vampire attack at Badrick (or “Patrick” depending on who’s translating, and if he runs into Hellsing, well that’s too bad for them.    Despite the treaty, Iscariot considers themselves to be the morally superior group, so they won’t back down if confronted.  

From all of this, I get the sense that the normal relations between these two groups sort of depends on the rarity of vampire attacks.    There’s a lot of unsettled issues between them, but as long as nothing happens in disputed zones like Northern Ireland, everyone sort of minds their own business. 

Anyway, it’s now August 15, and Hellsing is indeed intervening in Patrick.   I never understood why Alucard had Seras sitting outside while he fought the ghouls in this house, especially when he was just going to call her in later.  But now it makes more sense to me.    He went in expecting to kill the vampire inside, and she’s outside to shoot down anyone who tries to escape, just like in Chapter 3.   Except Al found more ghouls inside than he bargained for, and he finds this dull, so he’s calling an audible and bringing Seras in to handle them instead.  

And this marks the debut of Seras’s Hellsing uniform.    In the anime, she gets this look pretty much from the start, so it’s weird to see her wearing pants in Chapter 3.   I assume she’s wearing pants in Chapter 2, but we don’t see her lower body in that.   My head canon is that she was still wearing her old police gear up until Chapter 4, while this uniform was still being tailored.   

I have mixed feelings about the design.    My first time seeing Seras was a cosplay photo, and I dug the idea of a vampire soldier.   Once I found out Hellsing was all about weaponizing vampires, I got into it pretty quickly.   And I found out Seras started out as a police officer, and that seemed really cool.   Like Alucard would handle all the spooky blood licking stuff, and she would dust for fingerprints and use pencils to pick up guns.   The uniform implies a professional discipline, the sort of thing that would set it apart from the almost casual villainy I find in vampire shows like Buffy or what-have-you. 

But, the artwork tends to make this look ridiculous, because Hirano keeps drawing it like it’s skin-tight around the boobs.   I don’t understand why he keeps doing this, since you don’t normally see it on the other women characters in this story.    Unless the idea is to set Seras apart from the others, which I can sort of understand.    Seras is the sidekick, and to a certain extent, she’s supposed to look kind of silly.   Even in this heroic pose, there’s still something goofy about her, like she can’t quite achieve full dignity yet.   Maybe this is supposed to be like Robin wearing the short pants until 1991, but I never really cared for that creative choice either.   

So she starts going to town, and Alucard takes a lunch break while she’s at it, which is a cool moment that didn’t make it into the anime.   He reminds her that the ghouls have to be killed expediently using shots to the heart or head.   That one who fell down the steps was still moving, you see, so Al had to finish him off.

And this is where Seras first addresses Al as “Master”.  This was one of the first scenes I found when I started trying to find out more about the character.  At first, it seemed like Seras was all business, but then you get stuff like this, where she’s doing the creepy vampire bit as well.    I like the way Hellsing approaches this.    Seras is gradually adjusting to being a vampire, and she isn’t always aware of that adjustment as it happens.   It seems like combat helps her get into that zone.   Early on, Seras would seem to change into a berzerker state, then snap out of it.   Except she never snaps out of calling Alucard “Master”.  

This is the start of that hard-to-define relationship between the pair.  Remember, the Cheddar Priest said she would have free will as a vampire, but she defers to Alucard anyway.    Before, that just seemed to be a practical matter.  She recognized Alucard as a superior officer, and as a mentor figure.   But now it seems more fanatical. 

Watching the anime, I was suspicious of Alucard’s intentions, because... well why wouldn’t I be?    He’s fucking Dracular for pete’s sake.   I thought maybe he was angling for some chance to escape from Hellsing’s control, and maybe Seras was part of his plan.  Scenes like this didn’t exactly dissuade me from that notion.  Seras got some ghoul blood on her, and she finds herself compelled to eat it, and he’s looking on very excitedly.    But then she gets impaled through the neck, and that puts an end to that.

Back at headquarters, Integra gets word that the Iscariots have send Alexander Anderson to Barick, and she realizes that this could escalate into a major incident.   No one at Hellsing seems to know much about Anderson, except that he’s powerful, and if he runs into Alucard it could be a major battle.  

This page marks the first appearance of Walter C. Dornez, whom she calls for consultation.   I find it odd that Walter has already received the same report, and has already taken steps to deal with it.   Almost like he expected something like this to happen...? 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 

As it turns out, Anderson’s already there.   He’s the one who impales Seras with a bunch of blades/swords/bayonets/whatever, and he already killed the vampire that Alucard was sent to find.    As far as Anderson’s concerned, the only thing left to do is kill Alucard and Seras, but Al shoots him in the head before he can really get started.    But as he goes to remove the holy blades from Seras, Anderson gets back up for Round Two.

Alucard calls him a “Regenerator”, like this is a thing he’s encountered before.   Anderson’s not just a priest with blessed weapons, he’s got special powers that the Vatican gave him for the purpose of hunting vampires.  Then he stabs Alucard a bunch of times and prepares to cut off his head for good measure, until Polnareff jumps in and... no, wait, wrong story.   Yeah, Andy just chops his head off, then goes to finish off Seras.  

Except Seras got away.    Somehow she got up and lumbered off while he wasn’t looking, pulled out all the knives in her back, and then managed to double back and fetch Alucard’s head.   Trouble is, she still can’t get out of the house, because Anderson set up a mystical barrier using sheets of paper.   Boy, that’d suck if you touched a wall and it shocked you.  Seras probably won’t forget this moment....

Then Al’s head is like “Ight Imma head out,” and melts into a puddle of blood. 

The blood then arranges itself into words, which tell Seras to drink the blood, as this will make her into a “true” vampire, instead of a “servant” vampire, which I guess is what she is now.   And this is also the first time we learn Seras’ true name.   Everyone had been calling her “Police Girl” up until this point.   

Although, one might argue from this scene that this is not her original name, and perhaps it’s a brand new name Alucard invented for her, one that she has to earn by willfully drinking blood.   I’m pretty sure this was disproven by later flashbacks to Seras’ childhood, but it’s fun to think about.    Maybe we never knew her human name.   Maybe she doesn’t even remember it.

But before Seras can make that choice, Integra shows up with a couple of guards and tells Anderson to stand down.   He kills the guards, and promises to finish her off as well, but she tells him that Alucard can’t be killed with a simple decapitation.   

Also, Seras is back up.  She hasn’t consumed Al’s blood, but she does pick up a gun to defend Integra, which is pretty cool.   See?  She looks badass here, maybe because you can’t see her anime boobs in this shot.  

Anderson still likes his chances, until Alucard starts to reassemble his body.   Unlike other vampires, stabbing Al through the heart and cutting off his head aren’t enough to kill him.   This is because of... something the Hellsing family did to him over the past century.  I don’t think it gets spelled out in this story, but it’s heavily implied that the Van Hellsing from the Dracula novel defeated Dracula and then enslaved him, and his family line has been modifying him ever since to turn him into their anti-vampire weapon.    And a big part of that involves making him stronger than the typical vampire. 

So Anderson withdraws, but only because he now sees he’ll need a bigger boat.  Alucard tells Integra that Seras’s performance was “the usual”, which is funny considering how pleased he was with her before.    Also he scolds her for not drinking his blood, and calls her a coward when she asks to be addressed by her name.   One way or another, the theme here is that Seras has to earn a name.   The way she is now, Al doesn’t seem to think she needs one.

Volume 1 ends with some notes by Kouta Hirano, including the part about how Alucard and Anderson never seem to run out of weapons.   Cosmoguns? Fourth dimensional priests?   I’m beginning to think this manga about super-powered vampires may not be entirely realistic.

Since chapters 1-6 aren’t quite big enough to fill out a collected edition, Hirano also includes a backup feature called “Cross Fire”, which he produced for “a defunct comic master”.    He calls this a “springboard for Hellsing”, which isn’t hard to see, since it features the Iscariot Organization, including Enrico Maxwell, Heinkel Wolfe, and Yumiko Takagi, who show up later in Hellsing.

This short helps me understand these characters a lot better, because when I watched the anime, Wolfe and Yumiko just seemed to show up out of nowhere, with no explanation given.    I think it was assumed that you would have read the manga collections first, and would know who they were.   Anyway, they’re both nun assassins.   Heinkel dresses like a man and uses guns, while Yumiko weilds a sword, but only when he “berzerker” personality, named “Yumie” is activated.   In this story, she’s actually among the hostages that the duo were sent to protect, but Heinkel shows up and knocks her unconscious, which prompts her to wake up as Yumie and they killerize everyone.   

I’m not sure if the Cross Fire stories are considered canon or not.   The characters show up in Hellsing later, but not quite the same as before.  So maybe these are prototypes rather than the real things.  Maxwell, in particular, looks a lot like Integra here, to the point where I thought he might be a woman in this version.   But the Heinkel/Yumiko team bears a strong resemblance to Alucard and Seras working together in Chapters 4-6, so it’s not hard to see the connection. 

[c-130jsuperhercules]

Given that Rey is Palpatine’s grandaughter and also a scavenger of old imperial ships I think that she should have been really good with information, lore, and history, rather than good at fixing droids and ships and stuff. Luke was able to fix c-3po and r2rd2 because that’s what he did, as a farmhand; he tended to machines, and fixed robots. It also drew a parallel to Anakin, who was also really good with machines, good with ships, grew up on tatooine, etc. But I doubt that the decision to make Rey a descendant of palpatine was made by the first film, and it opens up some new Ideas for me as to her character.

Firstly, the similarities between Luke and Rey, in my mind, kind of end beyond desert planet and dead parents. Luke has a family, he works as a farmboy for a vital resource, he’s got a stable, safe life(at first). Rey apparently has no one, she scavenges old ships for stuff that apparently is only worth several bits of rations, I don’t see any motive for her to waste valuable time and resources fixing up robots and stuff that don’t appear to help her when she’s out and scavenging. I think it would be more interesting if, instead of trying to copy Luke and Anakin’s origins story, they leaned more heavily on how she’s looting and exploring a dead empire. Because she’s Palpatine’s descendant, she should have a natural curiosity for history, and the lore behind the ship.

The scene where she helped Han fix his own ship could’ve been improved. I’m not saying she’s a mary sue or whatever, but I think it’s a little weird she fixed in five seconds what Han couldn’t on the ship he had been flying for decades. It made her look smart, sure, but did that by making Han seem like a doddering old fool. I think it would’ve been better if she helped Han navigate through the ruin of a star destroyer in a chase scene, or gave an imperial access code to an ancient door that still takes it. For example, we could start out with her coming back to an old spot, clearly marked by a clean spot on the floor contrasting with the dust around her. She hooks up a battery she traded some valuable pieces for, and plays the scene.

A general, sending a message to his officer. Something about the tactics the officer is to execute when facing rebellion ships. She’s already seen the scene a hundred times, but she felt reassured by the confidence of the general. She also needed to eat lunch. A couple of rations bubbled to life in the corner as the face the voice belonged to flickered into view, round features, obviously a man from comfort. His hollow, yet intense eyes betrayed his deadly experience from a long career sustained by the nurturing destruction of war.

“...-not hold their own. They will employ hit and run tactics, meant to confuse you, draw your fighters away from the ship, and then disable the command center.” The frustrated edge in his voice told Rey just how successful this tactic was. “Keep the TIE fighters close. Establish a perimeter around the ship. The goal is a long, battle of attrition. This, they cannot win. If-” The officer’s voice cut in.

“But what if they attack a target that cannot be lost, say, a capital ship that has had its defenses temporarily disabled?”

“If their attention shifts to another essential target, pursue them. Do not fail. Hokar out.” The last of the rations popped from their packaging, startling Rey back to the dusty reality.

Then, later, she sees Han attempt that old republic tactic, unsuccessfully. She remembers what she saw, what she knows. She tells Han that, instead of faking fleeing, he should target some vital support systems left exposed during construction. He does so, and it draws their enemy out from their post. Han uses the superior speed and maneuverability  of the falcon to lead them through somewhere they couldn’t follow, and then blast off, escaping with whatever they had, whether that’s their lives or some valuables. Isn’t that better? Isn’t that better than throwing a beloved character under the bus to build up her ethos? It would also establish her as smart, quick on her feet, wise, with a long memory, and she knew how to use it, like a certain other senator.

Then, Palpatine. Palpatine achieved what all the legions of Sith before him could not; he destroyed the Jedi order. But not by might alone, he schemed and manipulated into making people make the wrong decisions. We could have the same thing happen with Rey! Once she is looked to for guidance, she comes up with a plan in the midst of battle. She stages a dramatic scene, prolonged fighting and losses making her doubt herself. But, just in the nick of time, the first order falls for the trick, and extends its face right where Rey wanted it to, and destroys it. The enemy is routed that day, and those beside her both celebrate her ingenuity, and ponder on what would happen if it was used against them.

Palpatine ate of the tree of knowledge, and knew death. He used that knowledge to darken hearts and promote himself to emperor. Near the ultimate climax, Rey will also receive knowledge, dark and terrible. She will see prophecies of her friends dying, histories of those that had come before her and failed, visions of the present dire situation. Having hope, she dismisses these. But, the dark side tries again. It tempted Palpatine over with promises of power and rule, and so it will try that same method with Rey. Isn’t she tired of not being the one in control? Doesn’t she want to wrest control from the blinding light, and plunge the galaxy in a soothing darkness, a darkness she controlled directly? She will not have friends, or a family, but they will be weak to the power she wields. She will not be given a choice, but will instead find herself on the same path Palpatine and Anakin were on, and failed. She will start to wrest control for herself, greedily hoarding information, doling it out when it suited her.

But, her vision extends beyond his. She will see that it takes many pairs of eyes to take in a complete picture, many men talking to each other to describe an elephant. Life should be lived with others, not alone as Palpatine aspired to, surrounded by equals, not placed above them, blah blah blah, light side crap. She will choose the harder path in a climactic scene/lightsaber battle, proving herself stronger for climbing the bloodied steps to the light. I could probably put this whole thing into a step-by-step hero’s journey type thing, but that’s a bit too much effort for me.

thx for reading, talk to me if you disagree or whatever.

[trve-grimdark]

ALTERNATIVE PRIMARIS MARINE LORE (Fixing Primaris so they don’t seem as shoe horned into the game)

So, Primaris. Yes they exist. And, lets be honest, they are stupid. Just admit it. Its ok. They are a wrench in the narrative of 40k and a symptom of the “New” GW, the GW that is focused more on sales and growth numbers than on creating lore and good story telling. The Primaris are probably the biggest and most glaring symptom of this new mindset. Blank Slate cardboard cut out “Super’er Super” Soldiers, who have no ties or stake to the history or even current setup of 40k.

So how does one take something so un-40k and non-grimdark and make it work for the game in a creative and narrative friendly sense? And possibly make it viable to almost any edition of 40k one would want to play?

Well sitting over a cup of cold brew coffee this morning, an idea struck. And so I’m going to share some of this musing with you all.

The Thunder Warriors of Mars

Lets erase everything we have currently about the Primaris. Erase Guilliman’s secret “Final order” 10k years ago. Erase the thieving of Chapter Gene Seed by Mary Cwal Sue, and erase the idea that the primaris are marines at all.

Instead lets give them a new back drop. Cwal is indeed part of the picture. A magos of considerable age perhaps, wise and ambitious beyond what a proper servant of the Omnissiah should be. In his musings and agitated state, Cwal has come to a conclusion. Mars and Terra have languished in Technological and expansionist limbo for too long.

The time has come to reclaim the Red Planet’s Birthright, independent of the restrictions that may or may not be in place by the Lords of Terra.

A Schism is forming on Mars. One that perhaps has not been seen since the blighted day of the Horus Heresy.

Cwal has gathered the minds most likely to follow him to his side, and, in direct violation of Terra, and the Fabricator General’s authority, has begun to engineer a new breed of warrior. A breed that while few in number, will be able to secure far more for the glory of Mars and the Mechanicum than it’s reliance on the armies of Terra and its worlds. Warriors crafted in the image not of defenders and upholders of tradition and Imperial values, but ones of conquest, domination and heartless cruelty.

These are the Thunder Warriors of Mars. Titanic bio enhanced monstrosities that, like their forebears of the Unification Wars, bear resemblance to their noble kin, the Astartes, but little else. These are not the Imperium’s great defending angels. These are monsters bred for a single and terrible purpose. To burn the worlds of their enemies to ash, be they heretic, alien, or Imperial ruled systems that do not see the need to forge a new order in the galaxy.

Cwal, now in direct conflict with the ruling powers of the Terran Mars confederation, is forced to play the hand of both politics, technocrat and warlord. But will he shatter the bounds of unity between the two worlds? Will he cause yet another costly civil war?

Surely these...things, cannot be allowed. The Thunder Warriors of old where beasts, created and then purged once the goal of their creation was achieved. These will be no different. How can one control such Mentally and Physically unhinged soldiers, who now have at their disposal the higher echelons of techno-weaponry, enhancement and armor?

Lore of the Mars Warriors.

With this new concept in hand, it would be fairly easy to find a way of slipping the idea of “Primaris” into the armies of 40k.

Cwal has played his hand. Perhaps he has demonstrated the effectiveness of these few but powerful warriors to the Imperium, and now, debate rages over if what he has done is heresy, or in the best interest of man, or simply the best interest of Mars or himself?

There are several points to the lore to make this story possible. #1 There are few of these warriors.

No Thousands upon thousands of “New” marines here. In this narrative the Mars Warriors are few in number, perhaps going only up to a few thousand at best. Perhaps even a thousand period, as it is with SM chapters. This makes each squad of these new warriors a precious and unique resource, that can have their characteristics made more unique and personable.

#2 Unsanctioned testing.

These warriors are neither sanctioned (nor yet condemned fully) by the Imperium. Meaning that any general, Magos, or chapter master wishing to field such units does so at great risk.

Will they be accused of Heresy themselves? How did they secure the use of such warriors from Cwal’s rogue faction within the Mechanicus. What secrets lie between such alliances. Surely these new warriors must be properly tested before being given the blessing of the Imperium, but at what cost, and what happens if they fall into the wrong hands?

#3 Superiority, at a cost.

One of the most glaring issues with Primaris Marines is their Deus Machina lore of being better in all respects to...everything. Because reasons. No draw backs, no problems.

In this alternative narrative, the Mars Warriors are superior to most, foes and allies alike, but this comes at a cost.  Like their forebears, the Mars Warriors are prone to mental disorder, psychotic behavior, physical overload, and some times erratic and violent tendencies. The enhancements and raw material used to create such soldiers is a dangerous at best, and down right suicidal and possibly heretical at worst, and this is part of the make up of these new warriors.

#4 They can be found anywhere.

No more of this giant oversize catalog of space marines. These warriors can be fielded as a form of “Any situation” style army.

Mechanicum, Guard, Inquisition, Space Marines, Possibly...even Chaos. All have access to these super soldiers, at a price and a risk, giving them limitless narrative and backstory potential.

#5 Meaningful Personas

No more “Rubicon” characters. With this new lore, one can create Personalities within the small faction of Mars warriors that have their own meaning and part in the grand narrative of 40k.

Mayhap there is a Leader, A warrior set above the rest as a chapter master would be.

A distinguished squad commander. A banner Bearer.

All of this and more can be added into this revised concept in order to flesh out better and original characters for the “Primaris”.

Perhaps I am dreaming a dream, or hoping against all odds with this. I may continue this line of thinking in future entries.

For now, its something for all to think about.

Until next time!

Happy Hobbying!

[shooks-stupid-stuff]

i have the text dump, it has lots of lore and will probably break the text limit-

SO BASICALLY JACIAN AND TAIANA SHIZ BASICALLY ALL I HAVE COME UP WITH FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND PLOT STUFF AND YES-

so basically they first meet in act 1 of the main plot (tm) which is really just adventure to go stop odd thing thats happening (idk exactly what atm but thats not really important).  Jarcian is basically a knight whos working for an unknown(at the time, we'll get to it later) person, and he has been tasked with impeding the progress of the main group.  how does he plan to do this? well, despite literally having troops at his disposal (who all adore him and are 100% loyal to him, they love their goofy captain), of course he challenges the main character group to a one on one duel, because he is just a goofy villain who fights fair and lives by his honor.  Of course Taiana accepts his challenge, being a knight herself, and they proceed to have a draw.  Out of respect, and because he's lowkey thrilled that someone has taken him seriously for once, Jacian concedes and retreats for the time being, but not before he and Taiana declare each other to be rivals (with like 75% of the main group just being so done with both of them and wanting to leave).  They have a few more encounters after this, with taiana always insisting that they take up his challenge fairly rather than just like have everyone defeat his forces because she feels he's not a bad guy and actually at this point considers him a friend, and after a while Jacian begins to think that he might be developing feelings for Taiana, which he really doesnt know how to feel about so he consults his second in command, Anton (short for Anthony; this man is just a side character but he is like the best side character ever and im 100% giving him a unique design bc he's just like the most supportive dude ever-). i plan on making a short comic based off the conversation they have but basically Jacian has his suspicions confirmed, and goes full panic attack and sad mode bc oops literal forbidden love this is so sad : pensive : .  There are like 2 more encounters between the main group and Jacian's group, both of which Jacian is just like being very obvious on accident but taiana has no idea what a social cue is so she just doesnt pick up on any of it, and then major plot shit happens and we're onto part 2.

in part 2, things get kinda angsty and really can split off in 2 different directions, with one being significantly less angsty than the other. basically, shit goes down, and all 3 of the main kingdoms are all just kinda in conflict now.  Taiana ends up becoming the queen of her kingdom (called Serenia) and, despite her appearingly newfound confidence and leadership skills, she is internally in turmoil due to previous plot events (and this only gets worse with future ones) and is beginning to fall into a state of self doubt due to the pressure she puts on herself to protect everyone coupled with the fact that she cant, and failed to protect her own father and brother.  After a bit of rebuilding and strategizing, Taiana decides to lead a counterattack against the neighboring kingdom of Grysia who's king, Natalio, has basically backstabbed every other kingdom and had invaded Serenia while the main group was out doing other stuff (his son is also part of the main group, and some real shit happens there but thats another tale for another ramble-).  It turns out that Jacian serves him, and is having one hell of a moral struggle right now.  His knights honor forbids him from betraying his lord, but he's unsure if he's truely doing the right thing as he's been complacent to so many inhumane atrocities that Natalio has preformed.  But in the end he decides that he must stick to his duty to the very end, no matter what (and let me just say, once natalio shows his true colors he does some bad shit, like really damn bad. but again, another disscussion for another day).  Eventually, the main group is pretty much on the castle's doorstep, and so Natalio makes the decision to send Jacian to put a stop to them. More specifically, to their leader, who at this point is Taiana.  Jacian of course, really doesnt want to (but as he later figures out, Natalio knows of his crush and plans on having the two destroy each other, with the result of one being killed and the other being emotionally destroyed. as I said, natalio is a very bad man), but his duty commands that he must, and so he tells Anton to make sure his troops escape the conflict together, and heads off to his final duel, where he intends to head to his grave and take his secret with him.  When he confronts the main group, he is much more solemn than he normally is, and he challenges Taiana to one final duel. and despite every other duel they had resulting in a draw, this one results in a loss from Jacian.  As a final wish, Jacian begs Taiana to take his life, as he'd rather die at her hands than at Natalios.

now, since im thinking about the plot in terms of it being a game, there actually is a branch in the plot based on a choice made at this point (mainly bc the angsty one is more interesting character development wise but the not angsty one makes me happy and i want to see these 2 be happy together-). so the two choices are basically to take Jacian's life, or to spare him.  ill go over what each choice leads to in order.

choose to take his life:  Taiana tries to take Jacian's life, but she just can't bring herself to.  She already internally feels as if she's lost or come close to losing many of the peopleshe holds dear, and she could never bring herself to kill someone she considers a friend.  Seeing this, Jacian smiles before apologizing to her for everything, and thanking her for the joy she's brought him, before telling her he loves her and taking his own life via stabbing his sword through his chest.  His intent is to save her the pain of taking his life by ding it for him, but this ends up pushing her over the edge, as she blames herself and sees it as yet another failure to protect someone she cared about.  The main group ends up defeating natalio and liberating Grysia, but Taiana is left with menatl and emotional wounds that would leave her unstable for much of the remaining plot. it doesnt help that she eventually realizes that she loved him too.  His former troops, which had deserted the war just as he asked, end up joining the Serenian military, with Anton becoming the captain of the knights.  This mainly leads to alot of character development for taiana, and how she learns to cope with and accept the fact that she cant protect everyone, no matter how much she wants to.  (there also is another really angsty part later bc main villian has some bs powers but uhh we've had enough sad i thinkand this is getting really long-)

choose to spare him:  Taiana refuses to take Jacian's life, to which Jacian retorts that she had to if she wanted to get past.  Of course, she once again refuses as she wont harm someone she cares about, especially when she's already lost people she cares about and is really close to just losing it.  She then states that if one of them had to die, the he should take he life, much to his dismay.  She stands firm on this, and he attempts, but his feelings finally overpower his sense of duty, and he just cant.  but at the same time, his honor won't let him betray his lord, and if he goes back he will just be killed.  He and taiana argue a bit, with taiana trying to convince him to join her before finally breaking down and just letting out everything she's had pent up inside since the the end of part 1 of the plot (different story for a different day)  Jacian lets out some emotional baggage of his own, including confessing his feelings for taiana,which she is completely surprised about.  They talk and mildly argue for a bit more, with Jacian eventually surrendering to his feelings, and vowing to right the wrongs made by his complacency before thanking Taiana for helping him to remember why he became a knight in the first place, and abandoning his old sense of honor to take up arms with the main group and find a new sense of honor, fighting for the people as taiana does rather than just for one corrupt man.  Natalio really isnt suprised by this, and simply says that he'll send them both to the grave by his own hands, before being defeated by the main group with the help of Jacian's troops because yknow, theyre loyal to Jacaian before theyre loyal to the king.  During the 6-year skip between part 2 and 3, Taiana and Jacian end up getting married, and similarly to the other option Anton is appointed captaianof the Serentian Knights, and remains a close friend to Jacian (along with the rest of his troops, theyre his bois).  This mainly leads to more development of Jacian and how he interacts with the other charcaters in the main group, as well as him helping taiana to cope with many of her insecurities and issues, and offering support in a way that none of the other characters in the main group can (i meant to not this earlier as well, she may be very close to other characters as well, such as xayvion, but they just dont understand certain aspects of her personality deep down as well as Jacian does. The two are just a pair of overly excessive goofy knights, and though they may be slightly different they understand each other in a way no one else does).

and uhh thats basically it, this was way more than i meant to write and i really need to go to sleep now so uh yeet- anyways i love these 2, thank you for coming to my ted talk-

[rogue-hammer]

ELDAR PART 2: #5 EXODITES You know that army everyone says their going to do, and then you never see anyone doing it? You know that concept that seems kind of bizarre and niche, but is always kind of fun when you think about it? Lets cut the bull, do you know about the Exodites? Yeah you know the ones I mean. The Eldar who where smart enough from the get go to realize that shit was gonna hit that fan. And by hit we mean, the shit was a dirty nuclear bomb, and the fan was spinning at Mach 10, and no one within a 1 million light year radius of it was going to not get shit on them? The Eldar that if they had a proper army dex, would probably be Toughness 4, Strength 5 and could break an Aspect warrior over their knee? Well fear not, because the Chaos Druid is here to tell you how it may be possible to have these “Salt of the Earth” Style Eldar as a force. -First off, the lore. The Exodites as we all know, where those Eldar who, at the time before the fall realized what was going to happen, and after trying to tell the rest of their race that the liberal agenda was a bad idea, went fuck it and took off for the distant Eastern fringe of the galaxy. Abandoning much of what their race had achieved, these highly attuned seer like Eldar went and settled many a wild and dangerous world. You could say they where Mountain Men of their race. Minus the Buckskins. When establishing a concept for your army, it should be important to note these sorts of things, and mayhap research our own real world history, looking for those who left behind more advanced surroundings to wander the wilds and tame or become a part of their new surroundings. Besides, whats not to like when coming up with a how did your army tame mutha fuck’n dinosaurs for an army concept than to read about people who did much the same thing? 

-How to represent it? This is the big hurdle to Exodites. GW never did give these backwoods space elves a codex of their own (sometimes I wonder if they where meant to be a mirror to wood elves from WHF) and so you have to be able to work a little bit of magic to bring them to the table. There are two ways of doing this: 1: Use a community created and tested Codex. This one is pretty simple. There are loads of communities on the net who enjoy making non-official but professional quality dexs that never existed, or that did and got left behind. This can be a good place to start if your unsure what exact kinds of units and characters you want to try and represent on the table. 2: Do a “Counts as army.” While this may seem a bit less interesting than going out in search of a quality fan made dex, believe it or not, counts as armies and models are some of the funnest challenges in the hobby. After all, who says you have to stick to one area? When it comes to a race as wide spread as the eldar, you can use all kinds of lists to represent your Exodites. From IA books, to the various inner factions and old codexes, you have a wealth of pre-made stats and rosters for your army, and it may even inspire you to create a Home Brew Dex of your own for use with friends and fellow Exodite fans, it can even be a group project!

-Modeling. Ah yes the next big hurdle in your quest to make this awesome idea come to life. But lucky for us, in this day and age of vast miniatures Renaissance, your never short on companies who produce all sorts of models for use in creating your own flavor of Exodites. Even the GW ranges can be put together via the various universes and factions to give rise to a unique and conversion heavy Exodite host. It’s these kind of armies that GW once upon a time used to really try and get their community interested in. Your own imagination is the only limit when making a fully converted army, and since everyone likes Dinosaurs, dragons, and laser guns, well, who isn;t going to have plenty of models ripe for bits fodder and base construction? 

-So then next, whats your theme? After all, Exodites can be as various as their craftworld kin. They don’t all have to be from the same sort of planet, or even have the same sort of unit arrangement. Think first to yourself, what wild and possibly feral world has my army tamed and guards as their own? Are they Jungle style folk, Eldar survivalists of the deepest jungle worlds know to the galaxy who could give catachans are run for their money? Taming giant lizard like creatures and avian like Dinosaurs for use in war, while using mainly Stealth and Guerrilla style tactics against invaders, blending seamlessly into the Jungle foliage to strike while using the elements of their home world to wear down an enemy, Maybe they are a desert folk. Having traversed the sands of a barren wasteland planet in the style of Dune. (Dune….Eldar. Ok I may have to do this now) and have grown hardy and strong from the unforgiving conditions. Training and using burrowing and dangerous desert creatures such as serpentine lizards, Scorpion and draconic scalies of fire and ash to their use. Able to blend in and traverse the known ways of the sands to out maneuver and flank their foes foolish enough to come after them (and now I also want to watch Lawrence of Arabia). An alpine people would also not be a far stretch. After all we have seen plenty of Jungle Exodite concepts. So what about their Highlands dwelling kin? Eldar who live off the rock and timber of a giant temperate and sub arctic worlds. Strong of limb and able to survive the cold and wild temperaments of their chosen homes. Going into battle atop heavy plated and massive dino/prehistoric mammal like hybrids, battering their foes aside by ferocity and strength much like our own history’s hardy people of the mountains regions. Truly when creating an Exodite army, any hardy and primal like folk of our own world can serve as an excellent source for theme and character.

-And that leads us to story. Yet another thing that can have infinite possibilities based off your own imagination. Are your Exodites of the first migrations away from their Stellar Empire? The ancient and proud ones who fled the fall of their doomed race and have since held onto life and world for thousands upon thousands of years? Are you a young and newly aspiring tribe of Exodite travelers, having only just now in recent years and light of galactic events decided it best to leave the constraining confines of a Craftword and forge a new and hard destiny for yourself? Are you a sanctuary to Outcasts and those who have been forced or chosen to leave their homes in the Craftworld or even the Dark City. Do you dream of rising once again to dominance, or have you accepted the humble life of survivors and exiles. Are your Exodites proud warrior like people, given over to tribal customs of battle, honor and glory in combat? Or have you attempted to become a peaceful and conservative folk, only drawing a blade when pressed by outside forces. Do you count many of the ancient seers among your ranks, or do the physically strongest and most warlike lead you? Have you shunned all forms of technology or do you harbor much of your ancient relics and tech for use to give you an edge over your environment and enemies? Again, the sky is literally the limit with the number of ways you can forge your own unique brand of Exodites. That is, at the end of the day the fun of non-official, but canonical armies. #6 CORSAIRS Everyone’s thinking it I’m just say’n it. Pirates! Ah yes, corsairs. Eldar Corsairs no less. A throw back to the original concept of these ancient Space Elves from the Rogue Trader era, where the Eldar, much like Orks, and even Chaos were cast in a more “Raider, Pirate, Freebooter” light than as giant interstellar empires of their own. And if I may be frank, my favorite style of all Eldar. Corsairs are in a league of their own when it comes to lore and the table top. If Craftworld Eldar are the Boomer parents, and the Dark Eldar are the teen goth phase kids, while the Exodites are the redneck uncle you visit during summer vacation, then the corsairs are that cool older sibling who always seems to have a few rings in his ear, rocks out to old style metal music and owns some sort of sup’d up car you love riding in. Over the years the Corsairs have had many attempts at army lists and most have fallen by the way side with each passing edition. So what is a pirate to do? Break out your Space Rum and lets find out. 

-Find your inner Outcast. This is the best place to start. Of all the Eldar sub factions, Corsairs are considered the Outcast. Too liberal minded and self serving for the Craftworlds, not into back stabbing, court intrigue and BDSM which counts the Dark Eldar out, and still too fucking full of themselves to go and play salt of the earth farmer with the Exodites. In all things the Corsair is the embodiment of the classic pirate trope. Those who live outside law and country. Content to ply the stars and do as they wish, when they wish, and save their own skin above all else. This type of “Sandbox” mindset can be used to create an eldar force with limitless background, style and character possibilities.

-What sort of pirate be ye? That’s your next question. Being Self sufficient and serving, Corsairs fit just about any niche you can think of when it comes to reaver like style. This also means they can be found just about anywhere, with just about anyone. Are your Corsairs a club for eldar only? Or have they allied to other even more unscrupulous characters? Corsairs can be found raiding alongside the likes of Rogue Traders, other alien species, and even among chaos warbands and Ork freebootas! And the reasons are just as varied. Are your pirates proud Corsair Princes/Princess’, plying the stars on an ambitious mission of their own? Are they fallen from grace renegades who have or will fall in with any dirty crowd? Are they the ruler of a pirate kingdom all their own, or do they sail the stars in a single infamous vessel like pirate stories of old, ravaging and stealing as they desire? Are they survivors of a larger group of CW Eldar, hiding amongst Exodites and teaching them the old ways of your people while trying to accumulate enough power and followers to rebuild what was lost? The options are almost limitless when forging a narrative for your Corsair warband.

-What is your goal? In the end, many a Corsair is an individualistic character. Shunning the Narrow dogmatic path of the Craftworlds, and refusing to become a corrupted sadist like the Drukari, they live a life of self fulfillment and ambition. So what motivates your band of pirates? Do they seek a sporting challenge as arrogant reavers of the stars? Are they after the ancient glory of their Race’s past when they ruled over the galaxy? Maybe perhaps they are altruistic, and ally themselves with whoever they foresee being a benefit to the galactic order of things. Fame and fortune? Women and wine? A warrior code dedicated to Khaine, or another esoteric group of reavers worshiping the many faded or forgotten gods of the past? Nefarious allegiance to chaos, or maybe a darker order of things. Maybe perhaps just indulging your own hedonistic desires without care to share them with others. Again, a corsair can have many a goal, which makes for all sorts of unique concepts regarding your army.

-Models models models. Ah yes, models, and what to use for your physical army on the table? Fortunately we live in a time where not only is there quite an expansive range of Eldar style models, both official and third party, but there are other factions with models that can be used to further augment your Corsair warband. The options are many. Maybe you use a combination of CW and Dark eldar models to achieve a rough reaver/noble look.  You can also dip into the Human side of models, utilizing Necromunda and RT faction models to give your eldar a much more grounded and space faring/gang like look. Even fantasy Elven ranges can be used to boost a more primal look to your Eldar, or perhaps Out of the way factions like Mechanicus and Warcry warbands can be augmented with Eldar models to produce some very unique Tech mash ups or tribal like appearances. Not to mention older far more grim looking GW models from Ebay can be used to add a spice of old to your model ranges. However you choose to do it, make sure your models are cut apart from straight up CW or Dark Eldar style figures. After all, your above that kind of crap. 

-Now we come to the final question, how do we play this army? As I mentioned before, there are older Corsair lists under official publishing one can use, as well as no doubt a bevy of fan made content. Like the Exodites, the Corsairs can easily be used as a counts as force, with even more options as you can pull from a number of different books in order to create homebrew allies and piratical alliances with your army. Once you have down how to create a list, its time to ask, how will yours be a unique pirate band? The cornerstone of any crew of pirates is Speed. After all, no need to hang around and risk your own neck am I right? This luckily is the Eldar’s forte, and can be done in numerous ways without too much overlap. On one hand, taking advantage of Eldar Air power is an awesome idea for Corsairs. Not only have they used in pass incarnations many of the powerful aircraft of the Eldar race, including the feared Void Dragon, other smaller editions have been made of time such as the handy Wasp, and fast moving Jump pack corsairs. Building off this concept, corsairs can utilise the various armies of the Eldar to kick into high gear. Between the DE and CW books, there is a wealth of fast moving raider vessels, teleporting and deep striking units, as well as high initiative and deadly close combat infantry. Depending on your list and homebrew rules, you may even have options to add other races in for flavor, such as Ork Meatshields…..I mean Ork allies that are very useful and cared about. Human RTs that can use various codex designs to function as an extra bulwark of strength and toughness and even Chaos elements if your feeling like you need the warp on your side. Maybe your corsairs favor Jetbike and light attack craft tactics and are made up almost completely of such units, along with jump infantry to help support your already fearsome maneuverability. There’s even ways to create an Eldar Corsair force that deploys almost exclusively from Deepstrike, entering the table at any point, ready to strike the enemy’s weak spot or run circles around their more cumbersome units. Always remember the enemy can;t hit back if they never see you coming, or are too slow to catch you!

It can be said, if the Exodites are a Modeling enthusiast’s dream, then the Corsairs are Narrative army creator’s playground. Enjoy Pillaging the stars fellow pirates! I can only hope this lengthy entry has given some of you new perspective or even just revivied old ideas on how to create and Eldar army of unique or simply enjoyable design. Sometimes I do feel as if Eldar are bottlenecked into repetative lists and story styles that leave little to customize, and rarely seem to fire the imagination. So really, these Pointy Eared ones arn’t just simple ELVES IN SPACE. There is little limit to what one can make of so many different aspects of this once great and powerful race.

As Always, Happy Hobbying!

[goingoverthegardenwall]

Chapter 6: Lullaby in Frogland

Let’s look back. Way back. Back before the dawn of animation, before the dawn of film, well before Ruby or Spears or Disney or Iwerks or either Fleischer Brother. Back to 1835, in a town named Florida in a state named Missouri when a boy named Samuel was born.

Like Ub Iwerks, Sam was raised in Missouri. And like Max Fleischer, Sam’s family took a financial hit when his father’s work stopped (this time due to a premature death rather than the decline of tailory), giving Sam a practical approach to employment. He left school at age eleven to become a printer’s apprentice, then moved to his older brother’s newspaper as a typesetter and occasional columnist, writing humorous articles and drawing cartoons. But unlike Beatrix Potter or the animators we’ve covered, visual art wasn’t in the cards for Sam.

He moved to the East Coast to work for other papers, bouncing between cities before returning to the midwest to embark on a career he’d dreamed of since he was old enough to dream: piloting a steamboat. He thrived on the water, and kept writing about his work along the river, but everything stopped when the Civil War closed off the Mississippi. So Sam headed west to work for the same brother who once ran the newspaper, now a politician in Nevada (I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that this brother was for some reason named Orion). Sam tried mining, and it didn’t take, but he’d gotten pretty good at writing and set off for San Francisco to get back into his jocular brand of journalism. 

It was here that he had his first success, a short story published in his paper called Jim Smiley and His Jumping Frog. But, like a certain frog we’ve covered in this series, Sam wasn’t huge on permanent names. Within a month, the story was reprinted as The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, and Jim Smiley’s name was changed to Jim Greeley. Until the book version came out, when it was changed back to Jim Smiley. And this whole time, within the story, it’s a mystery whether Jim’s real name is actually Leonidas (it turns out that it isn’t, but it might be). None of this should come as a surprise for Samuel Clemens, who wrote under the names of Josh, Thomas Jefferson Snodgrass, and most famously, Mark Twain.

“I knew you were special.”

Over the Garden Wall is, among other things, a story about the importance of solid communication. After five episodes spent building up our heroes as a group of friends, all it takes is one episode of terrible communication to throw it all away. The specific issues vary, despite leading to a similar result of not verbalizing their thoughts very well: Greg’s youth stops him from articulating his rapidly changing ideas, Wirt’s anxiety leaves him too timid to speak up or too rambling to be clear, Beatrice’s true intentions make her obfuscate the truth, and Jason Funderburker straight-up can’t talk. Or so we think.

This time he’s named for American statesmen George Washington and Benjamin Franklin, which fits the continuing vintage Americana vibe of the series—while I figure it’s a coincidence, it should be noted that Mark Twain’s Jumping Frog was named after American statesman Daniel Webster. Surrounded by other frogs that walk around and wear fancy garb, our frog is more anthropomorphic than ever, standing on his hind legs and dancing along with Greg. But it’s still a shock to hear him open his mouth and sing, a shock that soon cedes to the realization that the frog playing the piano at the beginning of the series is singing the Jack Jones song in the montage that follows.

Lullaby in Frogland is Jason Funderburker’s episode through and through, so much so that it’s the first time we hear of his namesake, Jason Funderberker. This is an episode where Wirt rejects Greg’s assertion that their frog is “our frog,” a plot point that’s paid off in their last conversation in the series. This is an episode where Greg wonders aloud if he can be a hero, sees the frog set off on a diverging path immediately afterwards, and accepts it, because he’s willing to sacrifice his happiness for the good of others. And it’s an episode where the frog returns after a harrowing betrayal, showing that even when all seems lost, there’s still room for hope. Over the Garden Wall (the song) might not sound like a traditional lullaby, but it soothes us into a cold night as the sun sets on the first half of Over the Garden Wall (the show).

Adelaide’s true nature is foreshadowed by Beatrice’s sudden hesitance to bring the brothers to the pasture after several episodes of nagging, but the twist is made tragic by Wirt finally letting his guard down enough to be happy. He sings a completed Adelaide Parade with Greg and joins the dance before collapsing into the most earnest laughter I’ve ever heard in a cartoon. He’s a good enough friend to notice when Beatrice is “uncharacteristically wistful,” and takes a risk by playing the bassoon instead of just giving up. He’s still got growing to do—it’s one thing to blame Greg for getting them in trouble by throwing away the ferry fare and forcing them to sneak aboard, but another thing to literally shout “Take him, not me!” when confronted by the frog fuzz—so it’s clear that his journey isn’t over yet, but he doesn’t even get a full episode of peace before everything blows up.

The whole steamboat sequence flows between simple delights, like saluting the captain mid-chase, the revelation that the frogs love music more than they hate trespassers, and the repeated gags of three gentlemen frogs snatching up flying flies and a frog mother dropping her tadpoles. Everything just feels calm, even when antics are afoot. Wirt gets to save the day with his bassooning, Greg gets to feel rewarded in his knowledge that his frog is special, Jason gets to sing a song after being silent throughout the series, and Beatrice seems, for now, to come to a sort of peace about things after several clear attempts to sidetrack the boys. This is the only episode to feature two major stories instead of one, but the steamer segment is rich enough to feel like a full episode. If only we could’ve stopped here.

All roads lead to Twain when it comes to depictions of steamboats as a go-to American icon, which is why he preceded this discussion of Lullaby in Frogland: I’m not claiming Mickey Mouse wouldn’t have been successful if his first cartoon was about something else, but I’m certainly claiming that we wouldn’t have gotten Steamboat Willie as it was if Ub Iwerks hadn’t grown up in a Missouri whose lore was shaped by Twain’s tales of the river. But while the author is the root of the episode’s many influences, I think the most fascinating branch that we borrow from is The Princess and the Frog. 

2009 was a great year for animation, seeing the release of Coraline, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Secret of Kells, the surprisingly great Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, and the first ten minutes of Up (also the rest of Up, if I’m feeling generous). The first two on that list are my favorite of the year, twin stop-motion masterpieces that I’m always in the mood to watch, but The Princess and the Frog is a brilliant last gasp from Disney’s 2D animation studio. It isn’t the final traditionally animated film they made (that would be 2011′s Winnie the Pooh), nor the final fully sincere princess movie they made (that would be 2010′s Tangled), but it marks the beginning of the end for both trends: for better and worse, modern Disney animation feels the need to loudly subvert old tropes and wouldn’t be caught dead in two dimensions.

Lullaby in Frogland’s connection to The Princess and the Frog is certainly visible on the surface level: both feature a long sequence starring frogs on a steamboat where a lead character must pretend to be another animal and play a woodwind instrument to get out of a jam, and both involve our heroes seeking help from a wise woman far from civilization (even if only one of these women is actually helpful). But it’s the somber nostalgia factor that binds these stories closer than anything, the knowledge that this is the end of the road for this type of tale. The ferry’s gotta land somewhere, and the cold is setting in as the frogs begin hibernating for the winter, but there’s still more story to tell.

The second story of Lullaby in Frogland is scored throughout by a haunting string and piano rendition of Adelaide Parade, and Adelaide herself is immediately captivating. John Cleese returns for the second episode in a row, but as both of these episodes aired the same night, it feels like a consistent through-line: in the first half, he’s an eccentric who might be a deranged maniac but is actually harmless, and now he’s a witch who might be harmless but is actually a deranged maniac.

Adelaide gets a compelling amount of detail for someone who’s barely in the show. We don’t get any explanation about her fatal weakness to...fresh air? Coldness in general? Either way, like the Wicked Witch of the West’s lethal reaction to water, it’s absurd that someone like her has managed to live this long. She never says what she needs a child servant for, why she has scissors that seem custom-made for Beatrice’s specific curse, or what her spider-like deal with yarn and wool is (she has a black widow hourglass on her back, but also reminds me of the Greek Fates with her emphasis on thread). We never find out how she’s connected to the Beast, whose theme bleeds into her music as she proclaims, without much prompting, that she follows his commands; her goal of using children as zombie slaves seems counter to his goal of turning them into trees to fuel his soul lantern. But this blend of unexplained characteristics and seemingly inconsistent motives only makes her more enthralling to me, because she feels like the major villain of another story who just happens to intersect with ours. 

What makes Adelaide even more compelling on rewatch is that her scissors, despite their gruesome method for curing the curse, do end up working. Which means she did mean to help Beatrice out as part of the deal. At no point does Adelaide lie, and given Beatrice knows she’s bad news as she lures the brothers in, it becomes clear that for all her villainy, Adelaide is an honest witch. I’m always down for baddies that tell the truth, but it’s of particular interest when we compare her to the Beast, whose whole deal is lying. 

The only liar in this episode is Beatrice, even if she wanted to set things straight without hurting anyone; she values her friendship with the boys so much now that she’d rather make herself a servant to Adelaide than just tell them she’s dangerous and reveal that she lied. By the time she’s willing to tell the truth, it’s too late, and not even saving Greg and Wirt by killing Adelaide is enough for Wirt to forgive her. Considering he knows in The Unknown that the scissors he uses to escape the yarn can save her family, he was also listening in on the end of the conversation before entering the house, which means he must have heard that she was willing to sacrifice herself, but that doesn’t matter either. Beatrice gave the boys hope, and no matter how badly she tried to stop it, the encounter with Adelaide transforms Wirt. Where he was once nervous and unsure, and was then briefly optimistic, he’s now sullen and untrusting.

But again, in comes Jason Funderburker, croaking and hopping on all fours once more to bring some light to the darkening series. He doesn’t do much for Wirt, but allows Greg to quickly get over whatever trauma he had about getting webbed up in yarn; he’s remarkably quiet about it, but it’s important to remember that he was betrayed, too. Whether he doesn’t understand exactly what happened or is just quicker to forgive, Greg is fine with Beatrice, allowing us to focus harder on Wirt’s reaction from now on.

It’s all rain and winter for Wirt until the end of his adventure. But the show isn’t content to leave him even slightly forlorn: when it gets too dark, he has a frog to swallow a lantern to light the way, and when it gets too cold, he has a brother to cover him in leaves, and when he falls, he has Beatrice to help pull him back up. Even the Woodsman tries to save him in his own way (talk about folks who are bad at communication). Bad things happen, and people make mistakes, but the bigger mistake is allowing that to close you off to others, or to never forgive friends that are genuinely sorry. Our heroes have taken the ferry to the other side, and now the story can shift to one about the folly of abandoning all hope.

Where have we come, and where shall we end?

On top of Jason Funderberker, who’s set up as a major rival to make his eventual reveal one of the show’s best jokes, Wirt gives Beatrice a general summary of Into the Unknown three episodes before we see it play out.