#i have no idea how im still functioning

[soulspice]

friends, one more day and then it's my day off.

then I can hopefully sit down and just draw.

[deoxyribonuclei]

bitches be like:

“HYDRATE! jesus fucking CHRIST it’s been thee days! how are you not dead!?”

little do they know that it has been six

[hella1975]

so it turns out it was actually never that serious

[kohakhearts]

when people first meet me and inquire about my studies im generally hit with two different responses, being 1) “wow, that’s an unusual combination”/“you don’t see that often”/etc. and 2) “you must be SO smart!” (or its evil twin, “you must hate yourself ha-ha”), and while the first is obviously a better response than the second, both are kinda…awkward to react to.

like? IS it an unusual combination of interests, or is it actually that most institutions make it exceptionally difficult for people to pursue stem and arts concurrently? and that we don’t often talk about the heavy crossover between stem and the arts because we’re so culturally obsessed with this notion that the world is split into Art People and Science People (also known as English People and Math People)?

and how would my interest in a science make me any smarter than someone in my program who chose to pursue a minor in history instead of physics? also, NO, i don’t hate myself. obviously taking stem classes after spending years believing im “not a math person” has lowered my gpa, but that’s not really something i care about, because at the end of the day i find the subject endlessly fascinating and i enjoy my classes very much, and i get better at math every semester because i have no choice. because it’s just…a method of communication. it’s a language. you practice, you improve - but you have to be consistent and intentional about it. the same way you have to be consistent and intentional about analyzing fictional texts and historical documents.

which is to say that like. you are using the same skills. i tutored a high school student last year who looked at me like i was crazy for saying that close reading a short story is functionally the same as solving an algebra problem. you collect like terms. then you compare and contrast them to make a statement about them - it’s human nature to seek refuge in what is familiar even if it is simultaneously traumatic, or x = 2 and y = -2. you can chart it, you can graph it, you can draw it. listen, isn’t there something so inherently beautiful about the word integral? it’s something intrinsic, baked into a person or a thing - the fundamental values formed within you by tiny, infinitesimal pieces: moments, experiences - they coalesce into something completely different, but still. you can go back. you can find the pieces. define them, pick them apart, put them together again in new ways. expand them, contract them, equate them to something else just to understand them.

half the study of mathematics is called analysis, for god’s sake. what is the study of art if not analysis? is it not the goal of the artist, the writer, to make sense of our place in the world? and is this not what we do in physics, too? look at the world and try to find reason in it? as the poet spends their life trying to make the intangible tangible, the particle physicist attempts to study dark matter. when we form a sentence, we utilize a complex system of equations that are so second-nature to us we don’t even register that’s what we’re doing - but there’s a reason this branch of linguistics is called syntactic calculus.

like…believe me. if you told my teenage self i’d be taking calculus-based courses in university, i wouldn’t have believed it. i teach high school students now who tell me they know they aren’t good at english, but it doesn’t matter to them because they do so well in math. and i get it. i do. but it’s disappointing, too, because i think my knowledge of math has made me a better reader and writer. and it feels like most people are missing out on that connection, because they feel like it’s impossible to make. but any experimentalist can tell you there’s an art to the scientific process. any musician or poet can tell you that great art is dictated by numbers - rhythm, rhyme and metre, all of it. the only group of people as interested in conceptual symmetry as physicists are artists.

anyway, all i’m saying is like - one is not more essential than the other, these things are inextricably linked, these things are as fundamental to human existence as breathing. there’s a reason why astronomers defer to shakespeare to name newly discovered bodies in space, you know? we've all gotta learn to love the math in our art and the artistry behind math.

[maiaacchiato]

thinking thoughts

[entropy-sea-system]

While g3 is a lot better about including different body types, I feel like ppl are applauding the bare minimum just bc they made Draculaura's doll have a pear shaped ish body but like. Thats just an average body type?? Sorry but thats not far from the body type of our body and we are not considered fat. The rest of the characters are often simply at least a bit skinnier than whats actually average. I feel like Iris Clops and Tundra Bominable are probably the only humanoid body characters whose bodily types even diverge a bit from the norm?? And I feel like they made Clawdeen in the show (and practically every character ofher than Draculaura) very skinny compared to her live action counterpart.. It feels like media franchises want to be lauded for just having a doll and character with an AVERAGE body type and that being "body diversity" for them. Media in general makes it seem like average is "skinny but not so skinny that your bones show"

[lionblaze03-2]

Hate that I can prettymuch never move to any better country than America (Canada, Australia, New Zealand, etc) because they all hate people with autism and if you even have it they don’t let you in. Because they need all the disabled slots for the people born there, why would they take EXTRA ‘useless’ people, duhhh LIKE IM NOT USELESS I’m really good at organizing I’m not a massive burden to take on just because I cry sometimes my benefits and burdens kind of even out PLEASE guys. I don’t want to be stuck here during project 2025 onward

[thelostboys87]

im so bobby from my novel the way im on the bus listening to judas priest’s 1984 album defenders of the faith whilst going through waves of nausea

[sorikkung]

people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh

[yay-depression]

just had a chat with my therapist about how i don’t like… feel good or fulfilled when i finish things, especially things that are difficult. i simply finish them and get no reward.

anyways she said, “you have the worst possible configuration of things. if i didn’t feel proud or happy when i completed things i would never do anything.”

and i just thought that was very life affirming :)

[zelda-posting]

tears of the kingdom could have been so good if it were built around like, its story or its characters instead of being a clunky shell to show off the mechanic no one asked for that it forces you to use

[foxgirlplushie]

I have THOUGHTS and OPINIONS and NO ENERGY TO ARTICULATE THEM

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[suboptimal-xenobiologist]

Guys I'm so incredibly sorry. My brain is currently full of gen 1 my little pony thoughts only suitable for the fictbio blog

[feral-and-or-horny]

Ahhh, nothing like an anxiety attack at 2 in the afternoon

[todayisafridaynight]

THANK YOU looking forward to sharing! Also never apologize for the AraSawa posting, for I will never apologize for enabling you <3 (I will apologize for next to everything else though. As We've Seen.)

I can see it being such a big deal to Arakawa too when he starts to notice Jo reciprocate in his own way or even does more to indicate that he accepts his affection... like he'll never really have the full picture on why Jo's like that, but he must have his reasons and progress is progress. If you're naturally affectionate it's a big relief to not feel like you're doing Too Much Too Soon.

that green light's a very dangerous thing and one day i will make you regret it but for now thank you for both the support and enabling 🤭

BUT YEAH YEAH EXACTLY EXACTLY like jo's incredibly secretive and doesn't really speak unless spoken to or it's necessary, never mind about something as personal as his childhood or his feelings. with arakawa- someone who'd also come from an abusive background- its just easy to imagine he's more emotionally sensitive to these kinds of things, especially as a father: he doesn't know EXACTLY what happened, but he at the very has a sense that somethin's apparent with him (and it's just got to be such a contrast to see jo in the field and in office compared to being by himself/only with arakawa. certainly something he might think to himself about).

especially when it comes to wanting to be affectionate with jo, arakawa already struggles connecting with masato: how can he be sure he won't be overbearing or too much for jo too if he's too much for his own kid ? so it IS when jo finally starts to give some of that affection back in his own subtle ways or starts to accept it more casually that's probably such a win- maybe a small one but Progress Is Progress