#i told myself id finish any new writing before i post it. so know anything new Will be complete :3

[sorikkung]

people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh

[preciadosbass]

27/7/24 [draft from yesterday, i told you this would be inconsistent]

woke up at approximately 11:20-something and had breakfast cuz i’d already nearly fainted twice. boris was hesitant about sitting next to me on the sofa for some reason, so once i was done i came out with him and took a few videos because i love the way he wiggles around and puts his head back for me to stroke when he sees that i’ve come outside he’s so CUTEEE!!!!!!! anyway, i sort of forgot that my dad had someone coming round to drop off + attempt to fix a stereo and my uncle was coming round to help so i went back in my room when i heard my uncle pull up, unfortunately he saw me in my pyjamas which is embarrassing..

i was supposed to finish watching the rest of jaws 2 when i got back in my room but i forgot and watched insta reels and a few mcr concert videos until i was bothered enough to make this account, make an intro, and post my journal of yesterday. i did that while listening to ls dunes and so much for startdurst [ml]. i downloaded a few too many mikey way gifs and discovered blinkies in the process which i’m super happy about. i wanted to make another collage because it makes me feel like i’m somewhat romanticising my life [even though i only really do it to remember what i’ve done/bought] but i didn’t and still don’t have anything to stick into my book.

at 6, after feeding boris, i listened to a few songs off my new trainspotting soundtrack cd i put up some more photos. i spend barely any time at all doing this because i wanted to write in my code. it took me ages to find a plain book i could write in and after everything i still couldn’t so i decided on using the back of my old poetry book because i didn’t know whether i wanted to rip the pages out or not. anyway, for some reason i started writing about albums and copying out my fav songs from the albums in question. [shown at the end of post] i listened to so much for stardust again when i was doing this [i cant get enough]

i’m not sure how long it took me, but it took longer than usual, which is weird. i haven’t practiced my code in a few months now but once i looked at the alphabet i picked it up again practically straight away. i’m pretty proud of that actually, concidering i’ve made it 10x more complex than it needs to be. like, why did i decide that letter combos like es [etc] are completely different symbols?? anyway, i love being able to write and it be incomprehensible for everyone else apart from myself, even though i don’t tend to write secret stuff in it.

that guy that came over to drop off the speaker left at 7:40 so i was finally able to come out of my bat cave [room] and see boris, yay! i then waited for a while [while listening to danger days] until i could go on a walk with mum and dad. around this time i also noticed something medical that was concerning so now i’m going to the doctors waa — BUT, afterwards my mum handed me an envelope and guess what was inside it..

tickets to see the black charade + fell out boy!!!! [tributes that id been going on about] so that cheered me up, although i’m still anxious, about the medical thing and that in order to see them i have to stay overnight somewhere, which sounds like a petty thing to be stressed over but being away from my cat really freaks me out. i cant let anything bad happen to him.

we ended up being 50 minutes on our walk today. we went to our closest field where you can see the buildings at london and watched the sun set [it went down so fast i’ve never realised how quick it is] + i took a ton of photos. when i got home at 10 i calculated my cals [392 today] and had one of those powdered milkshakes because my entire body felt like jelly. i finished off listening to danger days and started watching beetlejuice cuz for some reason i’ve never watched it before even though tim burtons involved in it. it was really good, i love films like that. and i love sylvia, she’s so cool.

after the film had finished i napped for 10 minutes before i came up to my parents to talk and ask if boris is going to be okay [it sounds stupid i know, i’m hopefully going to be tested for OCD] and it ended up taking over 2 hours and we got into a huge argument. i really don’t blame them for being mad, i know most parents wouldn’t put up with my ‘compulsions’ every night like they do, they just dont seem to acknowledge what must be going on in my head for me to genuinely feel like i have to ask them these things in order for him to be awake in the morning.

i feel so ungrateful, though. they try so hard for me and i keep them up every night and they think i mean to. i dont even feel like whatever’s making me think i have to do these things is me at all, if that makes sense. so yeah, i spent most of the night hyperventilating until i finally went through my routine of questions and could go downstairs. then i did my teeth and said goodnight to boris. he started purring before i’d even stroked him which was adorable. he made me feel better.

have a good day/night -_<

[anythingforspence]

the capstone - chapter one

Summary: Reader is a semester away from getting her masters in Psychology and duringher last semester she has to complete her capstone, or passion project if you will. This year, the professors decided that each student will be personally mentored by a psycologyst in distinct fields. When Y/N meets hers, she can’t decide whether she is lucky or if it will be a long 5 months.

Pairing: Female reader x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.8 k

Chapter warning: harsh language, sexy talk, no smut yet

A/N: omg tysm for all of the love on the teaser post. i hope i dont dissapoint.

Although I’m wide awake, I let my alarm clock keep beeping and beeping and beeping as I stare up at the white ceiling of my cheap studio apartment. My neighbor woke me up bright and early this morning by doing what sounded like lugging a dead body throughout his apartment. I lifted my head slightly just to slam it back against my bed, whining about being awake at 5:30 am. I’m probably just nervous. I have to complete this passion project for my psychology class by being mentored by a famous psychologist and write a paper about their career and their wisdom I guess. I have a meeting with my mentor today and I don’t know what to expect. My professor kept the identity of our mentors a secret. For the “excitement” and whatnot.

With a sigh, I swing my legs over the side of my bed and bend over to switch off the alarm. Resting my elbows on my knees, I run my hands down my face, basically prepping myself for the fact that I have to stand up soon. The moment I stand, I stretch all throughout my body, ending with my hands high above my head, stretching into the ceiling. My mouth getting ready to yawn when a bang was heard next door, like a book being chucked against the wall ajoined with my neighbors apartment causing me to yelp. I’m pretty sure I heard a chuckle in response to my scream. I glared at the wall, thinking of all the ways I could storm in there and punch my neighbor. I had two choices. I could storm in there and do all the things I wish I could do, or I could mind my business and get ready for the day.

Rolling my eyes I decided to just get ready. I still wanted payback, however, I blasted Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths as I head into the showe. I grab brown trousers, a white button up, and a sage green set of lace undergarments. Not that anyone would see them, unfortunately there has been a drought of sorts in my pants. I just wear them for the aesthetic. Getting undressed, I put on my favorite playlist with all of the songs that make me feel like I’m the main character in an indie film. I heard a light tapping at my door, like some wanted my attention but at the same time wished I never paid attention to them. I decided to ignore it and step under the stream of water in my shower.

Once I was all finished with my shower, I stepped out into my foggy bathroom. Singing along to Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx, I start drying off and slip on my outfit for the day. I keep my hair in a towel to help it dry some so I don’t have to use any heat on my hair. For my makeup I decided to go for a red lip, neutral blush, mascara, and brows today. Something simple and professional. I let my hair out of the towel and brush it out, not doing too much to it. Blowing myself a kiss in the mirror, I grab my purse and wrap my student ID around my neck, letting it fall next to the golden flower chained to my neck.When I open the door, I laugh in shock at the note my neighbor left for me.“nice taste in music”

I felt something against my leg and knew exactly who it was. “Hi, Payton,” I sweetly spoke to the Sphynx cat at my feet. I named her Payton even though she’s not technically mine and just wanders through the apartment complex. I bend down to give her scratches at her neck. “How’s my cutie patootie. Did you see the asshole who left this not?” She just tilted her head more into my hand, telling me to keep on scratching. “Guess not.” I stand back up and check the time on my watch, “Shit”. I had five minutes to get there.

-----

A bell rang as I entered the coffee shop I was supposed to meet my mentor at, of course with my favorite mask on. My eyes scan the place a little before I walk up to the counter to order my favorite drink. “Hi can I just get a 16 ounce Earl Grey, please?” The barista said something along the lines of yes of course and how my total was 2.16. “Alrighty, thank you.” It didn’t take too long for it to be done. They weren’t very busy and it’s just a tea bag and hot water.

“Excuse me, are you Y/F/N Y/L/N?” 

Woah. His voice sent a tingle down my spine. Probably just because I haven’t had much human contact or the fact that I haven’t been laid in a while but, my god, what I would give for him to say my name again. But that was nothing compared to what I saw when I turned around. I’m just glad I was wearing a mask so he didn’t the way my lips parted when my eyes met his. He had curly brown hair and he dressed like an old man, doesn’t sound like much but for me, that’s everything. Oh my gosh, and he had nerdy little cute glasses? When I realized I was staring I averted my eyes and started blushing.

“Um, yes, hi, that’s my name. I’m so sorry, but what’s your name?” The tremor in my voice made me want to just drop dead. I’m a woman of science but if the Earth knew how to open up and swallow people, now would be the time to prove it.

“Oh hi. I’m Doctor Spencer Reid. I’m your psychology mentor. Did your professor not tell you?” He seemed so confused, oh my god he’s so cute.

“Oh. Oh my God I’m so sorry! My professor didn’t let us know who was mentoring us, just in case we did prior research or something. I’m sorry. But yes um I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you, sir,” I kept on rambling, looking anywhere but his eyes. Unfortunately, it made me look like I was checking him out. Oh fuck.

Chuckling a bit, he goes, “Oh no your fine. No need to apalogize. It’s a pleasure to meet you miss Y/N.” Not going to lie, the way he said my name sent tingles to my pussy. Oh my god what is wrong with me! I can’t be thinking these things about the person who is going to mentor me! Stop being so horny.

I started to blush and I cleared my throat and gestured towards the window. “Um, should we go sit out there?”

“Oh yes of course. Please after you,” he said, his hand finding the small of my back, hitching my breath and making me nervously mess with the rings on my fingers. We sat at the iron tables outside of the coffee shop, he pulled my chair open for me, finally his hands off of me. I felt like I could breathe again but at the same time I felt sad, empty. He took off his mask to take a sip of what he was drinking and holy shit. He had some scruff and his lips just looked so inviting. I wanted to distract from the silence that was biting at me. “So, uh, what do you do?” My voice trailing off, making everything so much heavier with awkwardness and the sexual tension that was just coming from me.

“What do you mean what do I do?” Fuck. I looked so stupid of course he does something in pschology. That’s the whole reason you’re here.

“W-well, um, like what specific area do you work in?”

“I do criminal profiling with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.” My eyebrows bunch together in confusion. What does that have to do with psychology? Almost as if he’s reading my mind he continues, “We psycho analyze crime scenes, victims, bodies to understand why a criminal would do what they did, which helps us to understand the type of person they are, their background, and it leads us to the criminal, or unsub.”

“Wow that’s actually really cool. But, like, how does that all work?”

“Tell me, Y/N, when was the last time you had sex?” I didn’t say anything. I was so shocked. First off, how inappropriate, but also how did he know? “When I first walked in, you kept on looking me up and down as if you’ve never seen a man before. You keep fidgeting with your rings. Usually new jewelry makes people fidget but the stains on your fingers suggest you wear rings frequently which means you're nervous. Also ever since I’ve taken my mask offyou haven’t stopped staring at my lips. So, sweet girl, tell me when was the last time you were satisfied?”

I just sat there, gapping at him like a fish out of water. What was I supposed to say? Why thank you for asking, although the last time I’ve had sex was a year ago but the last time I’ve orgasmed has been longer? Before I could come up with an answer he got a phone call. Someone named Morgan needed him or something. Whatever it was, it seemed urgent.“Sorry our meeting got cut short, Y/N. Very important FBI business came up. Here is my card, has my name, email and phone number. I recommend calling me because I don’t usually check my emails or my texts. Your professor already gave me your contact information so I know how to find you. I am very excited for the upcoming months.”

“Oh- uh, thank you,” I whispered, still shocked. He grabs my hand so that he can hand me my card since I haven’t moved a muscle. 

“Oh and Y/N?” My head wips up at him and I let out a “hmm?” that could be mistaken for a moan. “Green is a nice color on you.” Confused, I looked down to see my button up shirt had popped open, letting my green covered tits be seen by the world. Eyes blown open, I immediately cover myself and say a thank you that sounded so embarrassing because my voice cracked. He just chucked and told me he would contact me soon. Before he left, I could’ve sworn he looked at me as if I was a sexy hollywood actress or something. But I brushed it off. Maybe he was concerned for me. After all, I had my tits out and made it obvious that I was desperately horny. God these five months will be awful if I keep thinking about Dr. Reid as a sex partner than a mentor. Then again the concept of having sex with your mentor can be hot. Nope. No. I should stop there.

[zeldas-cigarrette]

Now, I’ll drive alone past your street. (Ⅱ)

A/n: This is the sequel to my last post, I couldn’t write any smut, I wasn’t in the mood for it. Just wait for another story in which I’ll definitely include it !!! If you have any requests, feel free to leave them somewhere ^^ And thank you so much for the interaction on my last post:))

Part 1

Word count: 1,635

Warnings: none

Zelda Spellman x female witch reader

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It pained you when sudden thoughts about Zelda flickered in your head. Although you decided on leaving for a while, you missed her, Hilda, Ambrose, and Sabrina. The wittiness of Hilda when you came down for breakfast, looking like a complete mess. Sabrina when she was onto something, including you in every step of the way. And Ambrose, when he was fuzzing about the mess his younger cousin had caused again.

The sudden ring of your cell phone tore you out of thoughts. Hilda’s caller ID showed up just as it did the past week. You’ve always been too afraid to pick up, scared of listening to her ranting about you letting her sister marry this man. But unlike the other times, the Brit has called, now you were brave enough to answer the call. Maybe Zelda fulfilled her task and became High Priestess?

„Y/n, I tried to reach you all week” Hilda hastily explained. „I know, I know but-“

„There is no time for explanations, you need to come back. Something’s wrong with Zelda” she cut you off while unsteadily breathing into the speaker.

You hesitated to speak, not being sure what you shall say. You loved the red-headed witch too much to let her suffer. „I’ll be there Hilda,” you said and quickly ended the conversation.

You knew it was about time to go back and fight for your love and show Father Blackwood who’s in charge.

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

It didn’t take long for you to teleport you back to the mortuary, you left a few of your belongings where you’d stayed. You took a deep breath before knocking on the red front door. The familiar scent of your friends home crept up your nose and you started to loosen your tension. „Praise Satan you’re here, come in quick” the British woman rambled and pulled you inside.

„What’s going on?” You asked curiously. „My sister has changed during her honeymoon, it’s just as if she’s under some kind of spell.”

You nodded and hung your coat onto one of the hooks. „She does everything Blackwood asks her, Zelda would do anything to protect our family and now that bloke tries harms us and she just agrees with everything” Hilda explained and you knew immediately what she was trying to say. „And, Ambrose is said to have killed the Anti Pop. Nicholas Scratch helped him get away before Blackwood could lay his hands on him” she added pulling a grimacing face.

„I will go to the academy and inspect the situation myself, we will fix this mess” you tried to reassure her. The witch nodded and led you into the kitchen where the two cousins sat, pondering over how to help her aunt. „You’re back Y/n!” Sabrina exclaimed and hugged you tightly. A smile formed on your lips. Deep down you were happy to be back even though it took you some time to realise.

The darkness slowly came over Greendale and millions of stars peppered the night sky. „I will head to the academy and see what happened to your aunt and in which condition she is” you informed them and drummed your fingers on the tabletop. „Be careful, Blackwood is crazy at the moment. His misogyny went up to a new level” the young witch rambled worriedly. „I’ll take care.”

You grabbed your coat before leaving the house, inhaling the sweet scent that lingered in the house once more.

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

Arriving at the academy, a weird feeling spread in your gut. You entered the school for witches and warlocks, having an exact destination to where you wanted to go. You walked through the halls of the academy searching for either Zelda or Blackwood. A sharp pain shot through your arm when a hand grabbed you and pulled you into a room.

The facet of the person immediately let you know who it was. „Blackwood” you explained and freed yourself from his tight grip. „You ought not to be here” the sharp tone in his voice sent shivers down your spine. „I came to speak to Zelda.”

He eyed me. „Wife!” The High priest yelled and waited impatiently for Zelda to come. Seconds passed before a woman in a flower dress entered the room. „Would you give us a few minutes?” your voice thickly filled with annoyance. The warlock just nodded and left the room.

„Zelds, what happened?”

„I don’t know what you mean?” her voice almost pitching. „Honey, you can tell me” your hand reached for hers. „But there is nothing to tell. If you excuse me now, I ought to make tea for my beloved husband.”

Her words sounded surreal, fake just simply not like Zelda. A hopeless sigh escaped your lips, you should’ve told her how wrong it was to marry that bloke. The only thing to hear was the sound of her music box.

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

„It’s like she’s a doll” you took a sip of water before continuing, „no free will, and devoted to someone she said she’d overthrow.”

Hilda’s gaze wandered through the room. Footsteps echoed through the Spellman house, both of you looked at each other before stepping in the hallway.

You two saw her walking in the kitchen having her hand draped over something. Hilda followed her sister closely. The next thing you heard was high pitched screams from Sabrina who must’ve been in the kitchen. Your legs moved as fast as they could to see what was happening. Zelda stood there, wounding a mouse through the meat grinder. „Aunt Zel, why did you do that? That was our only chance to save Ambrose?” Sabrinas said stunned while her mouth fell agape.

I didn’t know what she was talking about, but surely Leviathan, who now was just a mashed version of itself, played its role in it. „I think I know what’s going on!“ Hilda exclaimed and it looked just as if a light bulb appeared over her head. „Sabrina, you have to get that music box from Zelda’s room in the Academy“ her aunt explained. The teenage witch nodded. Her aunt expected her to leave but that wasn’t the case, she somewhat teleported the box.

Zelda just stood there, staring at the mashed familiar. You couldn’t deny the fact that you were curious about how she teleported a box to her, but you suppressed the thought until you knew what was going on with your toner girlfriend. „Open it up darling” Hilda demanded her niece, „this has to be some kind of Caligari spell.” „What spell?” You asked genuinely interested. „A spell, typically used by old warlocks, to turn their wives into conscious witches aware of every action, yet, unable to make their own choices” the Brit explained and pulled out a photo of the music box.

„Just smash it and our Zelda should be freed from the spell,” Hilda told Sabrina who now held the picture in her hands. With a loud thud, the glass of the frame was broken, leaving a confused Zelda. You saw her facial expression change when she laid eyes on you. „Zelda is it you?” you asked nearly on the verge of tears.

You knew how stupid it was, leaving her alone with the whole situation, telling her she was better off without you. „Y/n...” the woman stuttered not daring to look away from you. You couldn’t contain your happiness and relive of having her back, you stepped closer and hugged her in a hurry. Her hands instantly sneaking around your waist, pressing you close to her body.

„I was an idiot, Zelda Spellman and I am sorry for how I behaved” you whispered in her ear. Her red locks were spreading on your face, you inhaled her scent. „Don’t worry, I must admit it was my fault too. How could I ask my girlfriend if I could marry another guy?" she mumbled in your shoulder and pressed yourself just a little closer to her body. „Alright, lovebirds” Sabrina sighed and let herself fall back on one of the kitchen chairs.

You loosened your hug and drew back to look at her. „Why don’t we get you something proper to wear?” You suggested and eyed her flower dress. „Satan, wearing this dress the whole time, internally drove me mad” Zelda admitted and tugged on the hem of her dress.

You took her hand in yours and softly moved your thumb over her skin. The fiery woman was broken, you saw it in her green eyes. Gently, you pulled her after you, scared she might break if you’d do it more hastily. Arriving in front of her bedroom door, you were hesitant if she’d even want you to come in put she slightly pushed you towards the door. „Don’t blame yourself, you had every right to leave. I wouldn’t want to see how you marry someone else” the witch remarked after a long silence. „I just feel like I could’ve prevented you from the pain,” you told her.

Zelda just shook her head and patted next to her on the bed. You followed her plea and sat next to the witch, staring down at your hands. „I haven’t told you this for weeks now, but I love you,” the older woman said and took your hand into hers. You slowly placed your head on her shoulder. „I love you too, but never ever marry anyone again as long as we are together” you had to add that. „Never” she mouthed before planting soft kisses along your jawline. „As dominant as ever” you giggled before the woman pressed you down on the bed beneath.

The room was filled with ecstasy and lust after Zelda was finished pleasuring you. You snuggled closer to her chest, not daring to leave her side again. Zelda’s red locks covering your face once more, made you feel comfortable with falling asleep. ‘You’ll be there for her on every step of the way, no matter how much strength it may take’ you thought to yourself before sleep hit you.

—————————————————————

[marimagines]

Strawberry Cigarettes

Between - Fuckboy!Jimin X You Genre - Fluff, angst, and smut [in the future parts] Words - 25,743 [wow] Summary - After a long day, you get a phone call from your best friend who was drunk and sitting at the diner at the end of your street because of her issues. You didn't have a choice but to go and check up on her and drop her home where she's safe but, you didn't know there would be that new worker that had caught your eye. Your drunk friend's loud mouth and her words is what pushes you to actually talk to that guy even if you don't know who he really is. And that's the start of something. 

Linked to the story Love - A Dreadful Bond 

This story is a background of the Jimin character from the story Love - A Dreadful Bond.

A/N - Okayyy so this is my attempt to post after 2 years to get myself out of my writers block!! 2 Yearsss!! I had been writing this since 2018 ahaha and now i managed to complete part one.. whew. I sincerely apologize to those who had been waiting for my posts and writing.. hopefully i can achieve posting and writing more and getting out of this writers block.. Life is hard huhuhuh but we will all get through it.. Hope you all like this!!

This story was inspired from Strawberries & Cigarettes by Troye Sivan

____________________________________________________

Part 1

You walk into your apartment and sigh out with the exhaustion from the long day of classes and never ending errands. Dropping your keys on the kitchen counter as you walk past it to reach your living room area where the couch looked unbelievably comfortable than before to plop yourself onto the soft and cozy seat. You groan out when your phone vibrates on the table and pick up to see the caller ID and frown at why she's calling now. "Hello?" "Heyyyyy," your best friend, Ailee, sings from the other line. She sounded drunk. "I'm alone-i-come here okay? I'm at you know where?" To others, she might've not made sense but to you, she was making perfect sense at why she was drunk and where she was at. "Come quick!" Her scream causes you to flinch and you pull away the phone when she ends the call. You knew where she was already so you get up while whining out loud even though no one could hear you and drag yourself out as quickly as you could. You were worried if she'd leave thinking that you're not coming since she had done that several times and ended up either in someone else's house, nothing under the worst case scenarios though, or she would end up in another bar or banging at your or your other friend's door. But during days like these, she would always end up at the cafe at the end of your street. It was like a cafe and a diner since their interior reminded you of those diners you see in movies, with their cushioned seats and tables in the middle of the soft seats. That area was separated by a half wall and on the other side were normal round tables and the accompanying chairs you'd find in any cafe. The place did serve things like sandwiches and sometimes they'd have special days when they would actually sell full meals but usually it’s just the basic cafe/diner menu. To you, it was a cafe so you were surprised when you realized that they had a refrigerator with beer and soju even though there weren't any in the beginning. Until you later found out that it was mostly for Ailee and it made you roll your eyes. She was a regular at that place since she lived near it too but on the other side of it, opposite from yours. You would find her there almost all the time for breakfast, lunch, sometimes dinner if she hadn't eaten anything throughout the day. You, on the other hand, weren't a regular but you were known there as Ailee's best friend and also as someone who is mostly there especially when your friends or friend is there. You were there maybe 3 times a week but Ailee was there almost 6 times a week. At first you had thought it was because Ailee might've had a crush on someone there but in reality it was mostly their food and their service. Even the workers there were friendly and to you and her, they were familiar and just like friends as well. You both knew almost all the workers, by name if not personally since there weren't many. The place is actually owned by a lady in her late 50s and she had her two sons, Kim Jongdae who was the older one and Kim Jongin, the younger one, working with her and two other employees. You were more close to Jongin since you had noticed how he possibly had a crush on Ailee and also because he was closer with Ailee too. He was caring and always there for your friend when you couldn't be and he was really nice overall. He is a really fun person to be around and you could trust him. Ailee had no clue since she was already attached to someone else even though that guy wasn't looking for a relationship. Ailee and her 'man', Young Do, were just friends with benefits; fuck buddies in your opinion and you knew it was affecting Ailee. Jongin knew too and you both always lectured her over the same issues every month at least. So when she called you right now, already drunk, you knew it must be about Young Do again.

You walk into the cafe and eyes widen at huge group sitting by the window, taking up almost all the seats in this side. You walk past that area to where you'd usually seat near the counter, on those softer seats. Ailee was there too, head hung low while her hand held up the little shot glass. A sigh leaves your lips once you take a seat opposite to her and stare at her state. You knock at the table to let her know of your presence since she was pretty oblivious to it. Her body jumps a little and she looks up with her half closed eyes, trying to focus on you. "Ya!" You hiss at her sudden scream and shush her. "Do you-you k-know," a hiccup stops her from speaking and she ends up smiling at you. She was really drunk at this point. "I called you hours ago! What took you so long?" "You called me 10 minutes ago," you answer her silently while watching her pour another drink for herself. "You know what?" She says before gulping down the drink in one go. "Me and Young Do had a f-fight." "Why am I not surprised?" You roll your eyes but look at her in shock when she throws a tissue at you. "Don't interrupt me!" She screams at you while moving her hand to cover your mouth. "I told him he can't take his anger on me," Ailee whines out mid-sentence and itches her head before sipping straight from the soju bottle in front of her. You look at the other 6 empty ones and shake your head in disappointment and frustration, and even worry inside at the fact that she might even doze off any minute. "He left! I told him to leave if he can't handle and that fuc-" "Can I get you something, ma'am?" Your attention diverts to the new voice that came from the figure who stood next to your table. You look up at the new face and your heart jumps at his beauty. He had deep, yet small and thin eyes somewhat like a slight dripping shape. His lips were full and really plump and perfectly proportional that you actually thought what it'd be like to kiss them for a millisecond. You look at his face for a while then clear your throat while looking away then back at him. "Umm, just water please," you smile at him and then watch him turn around but you could have swore you saw him smile or smirk. Were you too lost and obvious with studying his features? You shake your head to get yourself together but once you look up, your eyes follow his steps and you catch yourself staring at him. You could see the veins popping out on his arms where he had rolled up his sleeves of the white shirt. "Ya," you turn your attention back to Ailee and try not to look back at the boy who had caught your attention like no one had ever could. "What are you-" "You should end it with your Young Do, Ailee. Seriously. Look at you," you scold her and give her a disgusted look after. "That's what I've trying to tell her for months," you smile at the guy who took a seat next to Ailee. "How are you, Jongin oppa?" He smiles at you and turns to look at Ailee who was still drinking. "Aish, look at you," Jongin criticizes Ailee as he frowns at her state. "Get yourself together." "You guys are supposed to be consoling me! Not- don't yell at me!" Ailee screams out, making both of close your eyes and frown at the pitch of her tone. Jongin flicks her forehead causing Ailee to hiss at the stinging feeling. "You're the only one screaming here," you sarcastically comment and look back at the crowded table on the other side, hoping her screaming wasn't annoying them. A guy from the other table calls out for someone and Jongin taps at your table, letting you know he's leaving. "They're having a party tonight and Jongdae isn't here today so I got my friend to fill in for him instead. I'm sure you met him?" He quickly says and gets up to run to the table. You shake your head as you smile at how he called his older brother with his name only. Realizing Jongdae's absence, you sit up straight and look around to see how it was only the new guy and Jongin working and Jongin's mother was probably inside the kitchen preparing the food and drinks along with the another worker. Ailee curses out loud as her bottle finishes for the seventh time and she screams out for someone to come to your table. "Excuse meeee~" you stare at her and her state. She was never this kind of girl who would get drunk over a guy but this Young Do guy had played with her feelings. You were sure if she actually thinks about it, she doesn't really have feelings for him either. They just need each other for desires and needs; nothing more. You watch her and hope she'd get over this guy and not go back to him again. Your chest clenches when you see the cute guy walk towards your table with the water you had asked for and to serve another soju bottle for Ailee. "Sorry for bringing this in late," his voice was so sweet and melodic it made your heart melt. You whisper a small 'it's okay' to reassure him in case if he was nervous or worried for being late. "Ya, I miss him," Ailee speaks up as you turn to look at her and miss watching the guy walk back to wherever it is he goes to. "Shut up, Ailee. The first thing we're doing tomorrow is getting you over him." You give her a death glare when she scoffs at you. ~~ "Hyung, who's that?" Jimin asks his friend while leaning against the kitchen counter as he stares through the huge window-like opening in the wall, it made it easier for the chefs to put the order so the waiters outside don't have to keep coming into the kitchen. It separated the kitchen and the cafe outside the kitchen and right now, it was an easy way for him to look at the table as he leaned against the counter, his eyes stuck on the two girls sitting there. One of them was drunk and had been there for quite some time, finishing up bottle after bottle but Jimin's interest was on the girl who came later. The one who seemed more on the good girl list. His eyes and his curiosity were on you. "Hey, don't even think about it." Jongin warns Jimin with a stern tone and a gaze as he was busy putting plates of food on a tray to take to the only other table that was rather crowded. Jimin tilts his head to the side to get a better view of you and a smirk creeps onto his lips as the thoughts and ideas in his head run wild. He was definitely checking you out and he made sure to make it as obvious as he could, if only you'd look to his direction. Your friend yells out and that gives Jimin the cue to go to your table again. He grabs a bottle of water and soju before making his way towards your table. He smiles at both of you and puts the water in front of you. "Sorry for bringing this in late," he speaks softly and notices that innocent glow in your pure eyes. "It's okay," you answer almost immediately but in a low voice. It almost made his heart jump, almost. He smiles as he leans towards the friend and puts the soju in front of her already drunken state. Walking back, Jimin makes sure he does it slow in attempt to listen to your conversations. He walks around the counter and chooses to stay behind the counter instead of going back into the kitchen. Plus he had a better view of you from here. Since Jongin was serving the other table, all Jimin had to do was serve yours because Jongdae and the other two employees weren't here today. Jimin takes out his phone as he rests his elbows on the counter to lean forward a little. He could hear you and your friend talk from here so it was all good. From the words you were saying, he wrote down a mental note that you were probably smart. His favorite. His eyes kept moving in your direction as he tries to take glances of you every now and then, hoping you'd look. You were shy too, he noticed and it caused him to smile softly but he made it look like he was smiling at his phone when he noticed your friend looking at him. "Ya, he's cute." The friend starts speaking without looking away. Your eyes open wide and you look for a second at Jimin but look back at your friend while turning her head away. He could see that pink shade that was creeping on your cheeks right now. Cute. He thought to himself and licks his lower lip before biting it while holding a smile. "Ailee, stop. You're being so obvious," you mumble at her comment and hiss when she complains and give her a glare that Jimin picks up on too. You were either nervous or embarrassed. "He's checking you out," Ailee confirms way too loudly when she picks up on the continuous stares and it causes Jimin to look up at both of you and makes eye contact with you for a second or two. "Stop woman," you whisper while trying to take the bottle from her. "He probably has a girlfriend." Jimin tries to hide that smile that was threatening to come out and coughs out while looking away, trying to make it look like he didn't just hear what you said. His soft moment ends when Jongin walks over to him and motions him to go into the kitchen with his index finger in the air. Rolling his eyes, Jimin follows his best friend into the kitchen as he pushes the pale blue door open and stands with his arms crossed in front of his chest while looking at Jongin who seemed annoyed. "What is it?" He questions him so they don't waste time. "What do you think you're doing?" Jongin crosses his arms over his chest too and raises an eyebrow. Jimin frowns at the questions, trying to act oblivious to his friend's question. "Don't think I don’t know that look Jimin. They're my friends, not some girls you can have fun with," Jongin lectures and watches Jimin scoff. "Hyung, I didn't do anything." The younger denies with a smirk while raising his hands up in the air. "I'm just in awe at your pretty friends. That's all." "Don't even-you know what, stay here. Don't even go near that table." Jongin holds Jimin by the shoulders and turns him around to make him sit at the counter while his friend follows his order well and sits on the counter with a smug look. At least he could see you from here. Park Jimin was known as the fuckboy in his university grounds and he took pride in it. With his breathtaking looks to his sweet, angelic voice and his toned and well-built body, any girl he had tried to hit up with always ended up following him and doing whatever he'd ask them to do. He was also said to be the definition of 'looks can be deceiving' and a lot of people agreed to it. His brothers in the dormitory weren't against it nor were they supporting him in this since they had all fucked up once or twice. Jimin always had a thing for a challenge but sadly most girls were just too easy that he almost thought about giving up and settling on one girl only, but then again... almost. He wasn't happy with coming here to work for one of his close friend but upon seeing you, he actually had a change of mind. Also since the cafe wasn't crowded like usual he had all the time and space he needed to check you out all he wanted and maybe ask for your number later... You were arguing with your friend, who Jimin picked her name rather easily, Ailee and he figured what was probably the issue. It had him wondering how many girls actually ended up like this girl because of him. He stares at how you tried to take the bottle away from your drunk friend and whine at her when she doesn't comply. A little laugh leaves his lips when he finds it cute and interesting at how you still attempt even after failing. He quickly looks away when your head rises, searching for him or Jongin as your hand raises up. "Excuse me," you speak up while looking around for someone to walk up to your table. Jimin knew he had to go but he stared behind him to look at Jongin busy plating up the food for the other table. "Hyungnim~" he speaks up in a singing tone while smiling smugly. "Pretty table needs something." "Ya, can you go please? I'm kinda busy with this," Jongin asks without looking at him. "I don't know, should I?" Jimin plays with his hyung, knowing it would annoy him. A smirk curves on his lips when Jongin stops doing what he was doing and turns to gaze at Jimin. Bingo. "I mean, you said not to do anything, especially not go near that table. So I don't think I ca-" "Alright, fine. Go." He interrupts with a growl and an annoyed expression. "You're so fucking annoying and stubborn. Do whatever you want." "Okayyy~" he sings out, satisfied with the permission to have things his way. Jimin looks at you and notices you staring at him too. He smiles as he jumps off the counter and walks out the kitchen. ~~ You stare at how worse Ailee's condition was getting and she was speaking complete nonsense, even to you they made no sense right now. As you try to snatch the bottle away from her for the fifth time, she resists and her grip tightens each time and it scared you that she'd actually break the glass if she squeezes it more. Your head was somewhere else though, ever since Ailee pointed out that the cute waiter was checking you out, it made you want to look and confirm it but you were too shy to even look at him for more than a minute. You saw him follow Jongin into the other side of the kitchen and he didn't come back out even after Jongin kept taking trips in and out of the kitchen. You ponder if he'll always work here or if he was just a substitute for Jongdae. If he was a new employee, you wouldn't mind coming here everyday and being a new regular customer at this place. You get pulled out of your thoughts when Ailee whines as her glass drops on the table and spills the drink over it. You quickly put tissues over the fluid and try once again to take the bottle from her before she makes herself worse but she still fights back. Giving up, you sit up straight and look at the other table, the people almost left since only three were there so maybe Jongin could help you with this. Or the new guy. "Excuse me," you chant softly and look towards the opening that gave a view into the kitchen and saw the new guy sitting on the counter. He turns his head as he was conversing with someone, probably Jongin, and completely ignores you. You frown at the action, trying to get his attention again you try to speak up again but see him smile at you and jump off the counter. He strides towards you with an unreadable look on his face and gives you another smile once he reaches the table. He just raises an eyebrow in question and waits for you to speak. You clear your throat before speaking. If Ailee wasn't cooperating with you then you had no choice but to ask for help. "Can you please take these away?" You point at the bottles that were spread in front of your friend. He nods at you and walks over to the counter to grab a round tray. He starts with picking up the empty ones and it gets painfully quiet so you decide to ask something... stupid. "Umm," you start slowly and notice how he slows down his pace of working. "Did she... drink all of this?" You beat yourself up in your head for asking something so stupid and obvious but he smiles instead. "Yes," his eyes were still glued to the table as he reaches for the bottle next to Ailee. You notice how Ailee was eyeing him and that was probably making him uncomfortable. "Do I take all of them away?" He asks once he's done picking and cleaning up and stares at you with round, glossy eyes. You nod before speaking. "Yes, please. All of them." He reaches for the bottle that was in your friend's hand but she pulls her hand back and it causes them both to look at one another. You kick Ailee's leg under the table, causing her to let go of the bottle and rub her leg. You hand him the bottle quickly before she reaches for it again. You hand it to him as he whispers an apology to Ailee, threatening a smile to break through on your lips. "Where's Jongdae-oppa?" Ailee stutters out, finding it difficult to speak due to the intake of all the alcohol. Before he speaks, he leans back to stand up straight and gives a small smile. "Hyungnim couldn't make it so Jongin asked me to help out tonight." His voice was so smooth and soft. You wanted to hear him speak all the time if that's how he really sounds all the time. His aura was a mixture of good and bad. The rolled-up sleeves and the way his jaw clenches and that smirk with those wandering eyes that go up and down your body, studying as much as he could from it. "Can you please bring the bi-" you speak up but get cut off from Jongin when he talks behind the cute guy. "No need for that," he smiles at you while he stands next to the other guy. "It's on the house... or, I'll just make her pay tomorrow." You laugh at his words but stop as you notice the cute guy stare at you with a smile plastered to his face too. Clearing your throat, you brush your hair back, straightening them down smoothly before getting up slowly, hesitantly. "Well then, I guess I'll take her home before she snaps again. Are you done for tonight?" You look at Jongin, trying with all your willpower to not look at the other guy who was eyeing you shamelessly. Jongin nods before answering you and looks at the empty, messy table where the other group was having their feast. "I just need to clean up that table, take her out for now. I'll be out in a while." He adds quickly and pats his friend's back to get him back to work too. They both walk away from the table, leaving you staring at Ailee hopelessly. This will be hard. Every time she got wasted like this, it always turned into a hassle to get her to walk. Sighing, you tie your hair back and push your phone into your pocket before reaching for her upper arm as you lift her body up. She groans lowly while she tries to stand on her feet and moves with your help despite her body's refusal by turning her limp. You put her arm around the back of your neck and grab her by the waist as you squirm when she leans against your neck while making weird lewd noises. "Ailee, you gotta help me out here." You point out to her but of course she probably didn't even comprehend it properly as she runs her hand over your face sloppily. You move your head back as far as you could and let out an annoyed noise. "Do you need help?" The new worker comes up and suggests as he was fixing his rolled-up sleeve. He still had a soft smile on his face and it wasn't helping in calming your heart down. "Uhh... y-yeah," you stutter out as his eyes were glued onto yours. "Yes please. Thank you." You thank him quietly and he moves right away. He grabs her other arm gently and does the same as you, wrapping it around his nape and shoulder, keeping it there. He moves to grab her waist hesitantly but stops and smiles instead. "Let's go?" He says gently and gestures you to move first. The two of you walk slowly and reach the entrance but stop when Jongin calls you from behind. "Hey, take my keys. I'll take her home." He runs towards you three and pulls out the keys, jingling in his hand as he passes them to his friend while giving him a straight face. Once he leaves to go back to work, the other guy, you wished you knew his name, looks at you then outside. "It's raining outside," he notes as his eyes stay glued to the view outside. "I have an umbrella... wait." His tone was soft yet it seemed so demanding to you, making you bite your lips in nervousness. You watch him run back into the kitchen, coming back in a few seconds with a black umbrella in his hand. He gives you a small smile and it makes you ponder why was he even being so nice, having met you just half an hour ago. Maybe he was just being friendly and you were the one getting way too distracted in this situation. Opening the door of the restaurant, you notice it was raining lightly, not too light nor too heavy. He opens up his umbrella with his hands outside and puts it above his head and you two, while he helps you take Ailee to Jongin's car. You walk outside and suddenly realize that you didn't even bring a jacket to warm you up as the chilly air hits your skin through your hoodie. The awkward atmosphere was getting too much to ignore too as the three of you walk silently and slowly. You clear your throat before saying anything so your voice doesn't disappoint you by cracking or anything. "Thank you for this," you look at him with a smile as your head tilted to see him on the other side of Ailee. You notice he wasn't even under the shade the umbrella provided because you and Ailee had taken up the space mostly. A feeling of guilt builds up in you as you notice the white shirt sticking to his body as the raindrops land onto him. He must be cold too... "It's okay," that angelic voice. Your heart melts at how it was so soft yet so deep but in that perfect tone. "You don't know where Jongin hyung parked his car right?" You frown at the way he mentions Jongin. Was he younger? "Hyung?" You stop, making him stop and look at you with a light frown as confusion begins to show at his face. "You're younger than him?" You didn't want to sound that shocked but it was obvious you were. "Yeah. A year younger," he smiles widely, his eyes closing and making your heart jump and skip beats at how adorable he looked. "How old are you?" "I'm 22." "So I don't think I need to speak formally, do I?" He starts with a smug look and a raised eyebrow, making you giggle lightly. "Whatever makes you comfortable," you answer. Why was he so hot? You clear your throat and start walking again before things get awkward. Amidst your thoughts, you suddenly realize you don't even know his name but before you could even speak again, you're interrupted by him when he stops in front of the black car. "Here it is," he announces before opening the passenger door quickly hence keeping the umbrella up your heads to keep the two of you dry. As you help Ailee into the car, she suddenly looks up and smiles at you. You knew she'd do this... it's happened more than a dozen times so you knew she'd snap awake any moment. "Oh, (Y/N)." She blurts out as her hand caresses you face roughly. You pull away from the touch and help her with the seatbelt. "Stay still." You command lightly and smile at her when she raises her arms up in an attempt to "help" you with the belt. You pull her arms down once you’re done and slowly back away to straighten up. "Jongin oppa will be taking you home now okay?" "Oh," she points at the guy who was staring at her then you. "I don't remember Jongin being like..." you face palm yourself in embarrassment and push her hand away to stop her from pointing. You freeze when you hear him laugh out, his head thrown back and a huge smile on his lips. You couldn't help but smile at his cuteness. "I'm Jimin... Park Jimin." He looks at you as if answering your unasked question and you smile at him shyly. "(Y/N), and this is Ailee." Unintentionally, you bite your lip and push a hair strand behind your ear. It probably looked weird, you thought. "You're hot. Oh... She's single," your eyes widen at Ailee's bluntness and a shade of pink covers up your cheeks as you stare at her in shock and embarrassment then at Jimin, who was eyeing you with an unreadable look. "She's also a good kisser. Have you seen her lips?" "Okay, I think you should rest. Bye." You nervously interrupt her and close the door with her inside the car. You look over at Jimin and bite your lower lip again and your heart flutters when you notice his eyes on them. "Uh... sor-sorry about that," you chuckle out as the nerves kick in. "She just says whatever when she's like that. Don't mind her." "It's okay, I'll make sure to remember those two details about you," he remarks lowly as he walks closer to stand under the umbrella too. The sound of the raindrops hitting against the umbrella above the two of you gave you a very dramatic background audio, making you even more anxious. Especially after his last remark. You look down as you try to come up with something to say but sigh in relief when you hear Jongin from behind Jimin. "Hey, is she still passed out?" He asks breathlessly as he tries to cover himself up with his jacket. "No, she woke up now... be careful." You warn him and laugh when you see him shake his head and let out a defeated sigh. "Thanks... ah Jimin-ah, you have to stay and clean up the kitchen remember." You watch the two converse and frown at how Jimin had his jaw clenched at the order. "Yeah okay." He says in a low voice while he gestures you to start walking once Jongin gets in the car. "I was going to drop you home... it's not nice to just let a girl walk back alone like this." He says as his free hand sticks out from underneath the umbrella to feel the rain, that had calmed down a little from before. You blush at his words again and turn down his offer to walk you home as nicely as possible. The two of you walk back to the café with a small conversation about each other. He's in college too, not the same as yours though. A bummer, you think. He's a literature major, just like you; loves to draw and dance and sometimes party. You listen contently and so does he. Of course neither of you open up completely since the walk and the talk was small and basic. He lives in a dorm with six other guys who are apparently like his family, according to him. Cute. You wonder how he actually is without being all polite and nice since you two had just met. Too early to think that right? But you just wanted to know more and more about him the more you listen to his voice or see his beautiful smile. A pout appears on your lips when you see the familiar glass door of the cafe and come to realize this is where you two part ways and will probably not see each other again. You sigh lightly once he stands in front of you, leaning against the door behind him. "Well, I guess I better go then. It was nice talking to you and..." you pause for a while when you see him lick his lips before biting them lightly. Clearing your throat, you continue. "And, thank you for helping and for," you point at the black umbrella above your head. "For the shade." "No problem," he smiles sincerely as he straightens up his posture. "Here, take it home for now. You can't walk without an umbrella. I would walk you but I have work left," he says as his hand raises, his thumb sticking towards the cafe. Your insides crash against one another at his caring act and you reach up to hesitantly take the umbrella from his hand. Your fingers touch lightly and you quickly feel how warm and smooth they feel, making you what to hold onto them a while longer. You must be going crazy right now. "You can return it later when we meet." He adds when you don't speak. "Oh... So this isn't goodbye?" "Absolutely not. You have my umbrella. Of course I'll need it back..." you giggle at his sarcasm and shake your head. "And then we can start from there too." He smiles again, giving you another set of skipped heartbeats to deal with. "Thank you," you look down before walking back into the pathway. "Goodnight Park Jimin." You say before you start towards your home. "Goodnight, (Y/N)." He says from behind you. You continue taking small steps away from the store but pause when you hear him again. "Oh and..." you look behind you as he was leaning against the wooden pillar of the entrance. You raise your eyebrow when he doesn't say anything. "...I don't have a girlfriend." He smiles smugly when you realize what he was referring to. Your comment that you had made in there. Blood rushes to your cheeks at his comment as nervousness builds up and you bow down quickly before looking away in embarrassment. Your feet save you by starting the quick pace back towards your home as your ears pick up a small chuckle leave his lips and the opening of the door. You walk into your apartment and lock the door before walking into your bedroom. Plopping onto the bed, you stare at the ceiling and replay everything that had happened just a while ago. From going to Ailee to seeing Jimin and just checking him out to actually talking to him and now here you were. In your bed, with his umbrella still in your hand and with that promise to meet again soon. And... he's single. You blush as the last remark he made comes back to your head and you kick your legs up in the air as you squeal out. You felt embarrassed yes, but deep down that fast rhythm of your heart was trying to tell you something else. "You can't just fall for him. He's just a crush. Just. A. Crush." You lecture yourself once you sit up after your behavior and keep repeating the words. Shutting your eyes tightly, you sigh out before grabbing your phone to text Ailee. She needed to hear something and you were going to say it. Were you mad at her for the embarrassment and those words of her? Yes. Did it hurt you? No. But you wouldn't be feeling this or would have this umbrella in your hands if it wasn't for her. Scrolling down the chats, you spot her name right away and click on it, typing right away. You [9.50pm]: you're one lucky bitch. You smirk to yourself before setting your alarm for a new day tomorrow and hoping to not show to much appreciation to Ailee over this. You close your eyes and try to get yourself to sleep without having to think too much about Jimin. ~Jimin's point of view~ He was standing outside in the cold, breezy weather as his thumb scrolls through all the posts in the apps. He had tons of messages to check too but he chose to ignore those, just like always. He runs his hand through his hair as he looks up and around in hopes of finding a familiar car. When nothing happens in the quiet street, he sighs out in frustration. How long was he supposed to wait until his friends pick him up. He can't walk all the way to his dorm and he just didn't want to order a cab. A honk gets his attention away from a specific message that makes a smirk appear on his features, engaging his ego even higher than it already was. Unknown number [10.37pm]: I can't stop thinking about last night, Sunbae... can we meet again? "Aah~ I have to control these freshmen." He utters to himself as he walks towards the navy blue BMW, opening the backseat door. He's welcomed by his younger "brother" Jungkook and his older "brother" Hoseok. Fraternities... they just made him get used to calling all of his friends as brothers though he wouldn't admit so easily that he actually likes calling them that and how much they all mean to him. He sits inside quickly and lets out a lewd noise as the warmth of the heat hits his cold face. Jungkook was looking at him as his lower lip was hidden under his teeth. "I can explain why we're late," he starts off quickly as he changes the gear to drive. "It's okay, just drive. I'm tired," Jimin replies tiredly with his head tilted back and a smirk painted on his face. Hoseok and Jungkook share a frowned and confused look at the words coming out of the boy. He wasn't mad this time... Jimin would've been mad if it was any other day. Perhaps this wasn't a normal day. "Something good must've happened, seeing how you're not even mad and actually ... smiling like a creep." Hoseok adds as he shifts in his seat to turn to look behind at Jimin. "Ah hyung~ how can you say that? I don't always get mad," Jimin whines and earns a chuckle and scoff from the two guys in the front. "Did they pay you well?" Jungkook asks after a while when the three of them relax for a while. "Hmm," Jimin hums in response as his head nods slowly even though they probably aren't even looking at him. "They paid me well, there weren't many customers tonight... and I met someone." The two quickly look back in unison as Jimin chuckles. "Got your attention now, huh? Ya Jungkook, look in the front when you're driving." "Who's she?" Hoseok continues the conversation as they all relax into their seats again. "Her name's (Y/N), goes to Sonyei, is a literature major and she has a part time job at a clothing store." Jimin lists out all the details and information he gained earlier when the two of you had exchanged small talk while walking back to the cafe. "Well, I guess we'll have to deal with more screams and all that," the youngest comments, earning a few annoyed noises from Hoseok and Jimin as he sits there with a huge smile and a scrunched nose. "Oh my god, this little bastard here." Jimin says from behind and reaches forward to smack Jungkook's nape hard enough but also light enough. The rest of the ride back to the dorm was quiet since they were all tired from their day and work but Jimin's mind was going back to one thing. You. ~(Y/N)'s point of view~ The ringing of the alarm jolts you awake and you sit up in bed with a loud annoyed groan. Morning classes sucked and you were late. You quickly jump off the bed and run into the bathroom to get ready as quickly as you could and then choosing an outfit wouldn't be a problem. You can just put something simple. You ended up choosing a navy blue sweater with beige skinny jeans and grabbed a black long coat to end the look. Before running out the door, you stop to check if your lipstick was okay then you pull the door open and make a run for it before the bus leaves. Thankfully, you had gotten to class just a minute earlier and walk to your place with wobbly legs from running too much. You plop down on the chair with a loud sigh and raise your hand as a greeting for one of your friend, Kim Woosung. He smiles and waves back before eyeing you as you try to catch your breath. "Trying to run for a marathon?" He jokes as you smack his bicep lightly with an eye roll. You sit up straight once you notice his bottle of water was still almost full and grab it immediately. You needed water right now. "That's mine..." he says lowly as he watches you gulp down almost half the bottle and shakes his head. A sigh leaves his lips when he sees you smile at him. "That was refreshing," you add after he's done giving you "the looks". "I spat in it earlier," you roll your eyes and can't help but smile at his comment. "Makes it more refreshing." "You're disgusting," Woosung adds with a disgusted look after your comment. "Hmmm, so are you." You joke around before relaxing into the seat more after your breathing became stable. "Just finish the whole damn thing if you're stopping here," he moves the bottle towards your side of the desk and shakes his head when you giggle. Woosung was one of your close friends. The two of you met in ninth grade when he moved back in the country after leaving America. "A very, not a smart decision really", in his words. He spent two years being sad over leaving America, where he grew up, but slowly became better used to here starting from junior year. The two of you were friends from the beginning in ninth grade when he saw you reading a classic novel, Dr. Frankenstein. He criticized it and said it was in his least favorite list. "There are so many better ones. Why read this as a start?" "What's it to you? I like this!" You had argued back after being shocked at his words. "If i have to sit next to you for a whole year, at the very least bring a better book so that I can read too if I get bored." "Am I reading for your sake? Do you not have books of your own?" "What? Are you getting mad?" He scoffed at the way your tone had changed a note higher since you two had been quarreling over this for no apparent reason. "Yes. I am." "All I'm saying is get a better book so we can both-" "Do you have to read with me? Don't read, if you don't like the ones I'm reading," you lift the book up to cover his face and read again. That was in the second month of ninth grade. The two of you had just begun to talk like actual classmates and joked around too. He was really awkward in the beginning but with time the two of you settled down and tolerated each other to get along. Woosung became your best friend without the two of you even realizing. It just became so usual to have him around, in your house or room or out in the mall or clubs. People had even mistaken you for dating but you were quick to clear it out. "You could've played along," he had said back then too. Of course he was good looking. Soft features, thin lips, cute soft eyes and an adorable smile in your opinion. He was a great singer and was even in a band with three other guys. You had been to their gigs and busking events and you had to admit, he was pretty good. They were all pretty good. Did you ever feel something towards Woosung? Yes... obviously but you kept your mouth shut and those feelings faded away slowly or hid away. You had to be frank, he did get better looking since senior year high school. You're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear students in the classroom mumble all of a sudden and frown at everyone who was looking at their screen. That's when you realize the instructor didn't even come yet, it was almost 15 minutes by now. Woosung looks around and hums lightly before speaking, "Seems like class is canceled." You roll your eyes in annoyance at having to wake up early and run here to have the class canceled. "Oh, for fuc-" "Hey!" He smacks your lips for almost cursing in front of him like that. He was older than you by a year so yeah... you couldn’t always be so easy like that. Well. You could swear and all but he just liked to annoy you that way. "I woke up and ran all the way here to have this canceled..." you pout as the two of you get up to leave the classroom along with the other students. "Why'd you overslept? You don't usually do that." "Ailee and Young Do had a fight or something and she went to get wasted again," you complain as he opens the door for you, letting you go out first. "So I had to take care of that last night." Once you step outside and finish your sentence, you finally remember the events from last night. It was hectic and frenzy since you had woken up late but now that your mind was more relaxed, you remembered. Jimin. The umbrella. The last thing he said. You bite your lower lip as a habit and look ahead as you walk wherever your feet were taking you. How were you supposed to return the umbrella when you didn't even take his number. When he said you'll meet again, did he mean soon? You kind of missed him... stupid right? You had just met him last night yet you were here thinking about him and how his voice swayed its way into your heart. How warm his fingers felt even though it was for a second. You try to remind yourself to get it together and repeat the same words you did last night. "Just a crush. Just a cr-" "Goodmorning," you blink several times to get yourself back in reality when you hear Woosung's greeting. You look where he's looking at and spot Ailee taking a seat on the other side of the wooden picnic bench. You frown at her sullen expression... why was she so sad about now? You quickly stand up half way to reach towards her and smack her bicep, earning a whine from her. "You. Are. One. Lucky. Bitch." You point out while getting back on the seat. Woosung frowns at the two of you but doesn't bother or ask what's going on... at least not yet. "I messed up last night, didn't I?" She gives you an apologetic look and closes her eyes tightly as she rests her head into her palms and groans. "Jongin-oppa and I had a fight last night." She looks at you with a pout planted on her lips and then continues. "And now he's ignoring me." "Why did you fight?" "He was lecturing me the whole drive to my house and I flipped and he came after me and yelled. When I say fight. I mean a while fight with us yelling and screaming here (Y/N)!" She whines out loudly as she grabs your wrists and pulls your arm towards her. "Well he's not the only one that's mad at you," you pull away and give her an annoyed look. Does she not remember everything else? Why was she so focused on Jongin. She never acted this way so why was she... perhaps they actually feel the same way for each other? You knew Jongin liked Ailee but you didn't know whether she felt the same way towards him. Did she? You're pulled out of your pondering when she speaks again with a whiny tone. "Why are you mad?" You roll your eyes at her oblivion and list the things right away. "First, you need to fucking STOP this whole shit with Young Do." Woosung smacks you lightly when you curse and you're reminded that he was actually here. He had been so quiet that you actually forgot he was here. You scowl at him silently when he stares at you with wide eyes. He always had a habit of smacking you every time you used a swear word, it's not even because he was offended or anything. He just did it. "Fine, I'll stop okay?" You two look at Ailee in unison with shock written all over your faces. This was the first time she ever said this. "And what did you even mean by this text?" She pulls out her phones and then turns the screen towards you. It was your message from last night. "This is why I'm mad!" You jeer out. "Do you not even remember? Park Jimin? The guy who served our table last night," Ailee's face contorts as she tries to remember and then her eyes widen in an instant. "Oh shit," "Hey, don't curse around your Sunb-" "Oh SHIT," Ailee gasps out loud as her palm goes over to cover her open mouth. You give her an annoyed look and wait for her to apologize... to be honest, you weren't even THAT mad but you had the right to argue over her words that she had said in her drunken state. "I said something to him, didn't I?" "You exposed me!" You yell back and watch her try to remember again. "You were like 'oh she's single and a good kisser'..." you mimic her tone and look at her frown and then... she ends up laughing. She actually bursts out laughing and then you sit there and watch Woosung join in silently. "This isn't funny you guys." You whine out loud and drop your head on the wooden table. "I felt so embarrassed and flustered... I didn't even get his number," you finish off before sitting up with slump shoulders and a pout on your lips while you look back and forth at the two who were still laughing lightly. "Why are you laughing?" You direct the question to Woosung. "It's funny. I thought she did something but it's so small," he rubs your head, messing up your hair as he makes cooing noises. "Poor little (Y/N) got shy because some cute guy found out you're single and a good kisser." You smack his hand away and look at Ailee, who was smiling at you. "At least he didn't run right? If you said I'm lucky then something good must've happened," her eyebrow raises and she tilts her head in an attempt to try to read your expression. You clear your throat whilst trying to hide the smile that was forming on your lips. "He said that we'll meet again for sure." You say confidently but blush slowly as you remember the last thing he had said last night. You roll your eyes when Ailee lets out a long "ooooh~" ~Jimin's point of view~ He came back from his class and went straight into his room. He couldn't bear to deal with another being right now... Sleep. That's what he needed right now. As he walks through the hall of the dorm, he passes by Jungkook's room and hears a different voice from inside. His ears perk up to try to encode the new voice... a girl? Did Jungkook really have a girl in there? A teasing smirk comes onto his lips but he saves it for later. He was already tired from today's classes and he even bummed into one of his "ex". She wasn't an ex, just someone he had spent some time with for a while but then got bored as usual. But she had always tried to come back, making things awkward. Just like today. He shuts his door once he enters and plops into his bed while staring at the ceiling. Something was going on in his head that he managed to ignore the whole day until now. He frowns when he catches up on his thoughts and wonders why, of all the things, was he thinking of that... Of you. You two had only met for a few hours but why out of all the people, why did you pop into his head. He laid there and thought about what you were up to, what you could be wearing, or if you were thinking about him or not. He plays with his hair lightly then once he realizes he hadn't even taken your number, he groans and whispers to himself "You're a stupid ass Jimin-ah." Maybe Jongin might give him your number... it was a small possibility though. A knock on his door gets him out of his thoughts and he turns his head towards the door, telling them to come in. "Hey," it was Taehyung. He looked like he was in a hurry. "We- no. You got a problem. Miyeon is here." "Tell her I'm asleep." He sighs out as he looks back at the ceiling. "She's your girl, you deal with her dude. She won't listen to me." "Tae-" Jimin huffs out a breath as Taehyung closes the door without even listening to him. He gets up to put his backpack in its place and picks up the clothes that were laying around to put them in his wardrobe. If there was one thing he could care most about, he'd pick keeping his home or room neat and organized especially if someone was coming over. It has always been a habit of Jimin, to keep things tidy and in their place. As he did the same right now, he hears the door open and close again. "Oppa," Miyeon's voice echoes around the room and he hears her step towards him but still doesn't turn around. His back towards her direction as he went on with folding his shirt and his sweatpants that he found laying around. "Hi." She wraps her arms around his waist to embrace him in a back hug and rests her head on his back. Jimin drops his clothes and shoves them in before sighing out loud. He grabs her wrists to free himself from the hug and turns around to glare at her. "You have to stop coming here without telling me. I told you that before." She looks at him with a pout before speaking back. "I did message you... an hour ago." Miyeon frees herself from his hold to take a step back. "You don't seem happy to see me." Jimin looks her up and down, taking in her small body and her soft features. She had long hair that reached a little further down her shoulders. She had curled them today, it was pretty. Her plump lips were giving a tint of red today and it matched the light shade of red on her cheeks as she watched him study her like that. Her eyes, usually small and almond shaped, were now round since she felt small in front of him like that. Her outfit was cute today too, as usual. A white crop top that hugged her chest and torso tightly and a pastel pink skirt that stopped just above her knees. He looks back at her and notices that pout was still there on her lips. "I guess I'll go if you didn't want to see me." Disappointment in her tone, she turns around when Jimin doesn't budge and starts to walk towards the door until he speaks again. "Did you wear this outfit for me? It's pretty. You look pretty," he compliments as she turns and gives him a huge smile. "But it's cold outside, didn't you feel cold?" "Well, it was freezing but I wanted to show off my new outfit." She skips to the bed and sits on the edge while looking around at the room. "Don't worry, I'll help you warm up." Jimin walks towards his bed and leans down to attack her lips with his own. A moan leaves her lips right away and it causes Jimin to smirk into the kiss. He cages her body with his arms next to her sides and gently pushes her down and into the mattress. "Get in the middle of the bed and clothes off." He commands as he moves to take his own garments off. The sound of Jungkook yelling is what wakes Jimin up. He opens his eyes slowly to take in the lightened up room, it was already the next day. He must've been exhausted yesterday to have slept right after sex and waking up the next day... especially since he had slept around 7pm last night. His palm comes up to press his temple gently and turns his head to see Miyeon still sleeping there. He turns his body completely so that he was facing her, she always looked extra adorable when sleeping. Miyeon is in the same university as Jimin and they had met at a cafe Jimin goes for his regular coffee or lunch during the day. The food there was good and cheap and it could fill him up and keep him going for a few hours too. He first saw Miyeon when he was in his second year and she was still a freshmen. She looked lost and confused while trying to order in front and Jimin was running late so he suggested his favorite and offered to buy for her too. He didn't have any intentions back then but they had met again after 2 days and that's when they started talking and hanging out more. Miyeon's in the college of Drama, mostly acting and doing or writing plays. It's right across the building of the Literature college. They were just friends since Jimin was busy with a girl or another every time but he knew she had felt something with him too. Jimin resides in one of the famous dormitory in their university along with other guys and he was even the son of a rich family so people always knew who he was and his charming and beautiful looks always stole hearts. He didn't want to drag Miyeon into this but she knew what kind of a guy he is when she had kissed him at a party once he said he's not really "looking for any girl at the moment". It had started off with just a kiss then it turned into a makeout and before things got ahead, Jimin had warned her once more and got another kiss as a response. That was a year ago. Jimin still slept around or flirted here and there. It's not like Jimin and Miyeon were in an exclusive relationship. She had an idea but she never let it show nor had she said anything except for little to no arguments. She was just too nice and innocent for someone like Jimin. Did he ever feel bad for her? Sometimes. But maybe this was his taste. This is what he preferred. It's mean and not exactly a good thing to- He quickly shuts his eyes close to act like he was asleep once she moves as her body comes back to life. He hears her groan and feels her stretch out as her body moves towards his. She leans in and lightly pecks his nose before whispering a good morning to his "sleeping state". He feels his body stiffen at the way she acted. But with his hearing, he could tell she got up the bed and was putting on her clothes probably. Once she leaves the room, he opens his eyes and lets out a sigh. He's an asshole for doing this to her. An asshole for doing this to you too probably. ~(Y/N)'s point of view~ It was almost a week after you and Jimin had met and for some reason, you still wondered more and more about if he'll actually even come to meet again. Every night for the past 6 nights, you would stare at his umbrella that he had handed to you and ponder over him in general. Was he also thinking about you? Or did he forget about all that happened that night? It was around 9pm right now when your thoughts are disturbed with your phone chiming two times, alerting you with your new messages. You frown when there's an unknown number and there's Ailee's message as well. You drop your pen that was hovering over your notebook and grab your phone, opening the unknown messages first. Unknown number [9.17pm]: hey Ailee [9.17pm]: hey You look over at the messages then reply Ailee first with a usual "hi" though you opened the other message first. You [9.18pm]: hi? You send to the unknown sender but before they could even finish what they were saying, you jump as your phone rings abruptly. Ailee. "Hey," you ask with concern since she just seemed weird this way. "Hey, can you come to Jongin's cafe right now... please." She almost whispers, unusual coming from her. "Yeah, sure. Everything okay?" You say, already getting to grab your coat and a cap. "It's Young Do, he's been following me all day and he won't fucking stop... just come there okay? I'm almost there too." You hear the beep of the call ending and run out the door whilst trying to put on the coat in a sad failing attempt. The other number had messaged you but that was in the back of your mind by now since Ailee did sound concerned. Once you reach the cafe six minutes later, Jongin was already in alert and being cautious. You sit at your usual place and wait for Ailee and try to get your breath back while constantly staring at your phone. She needs to get here already, why wasn't she- "Hi," you look up in shock when you hear that voice again. It's Jimin. Why was he here? "Are you alright?" He takes the seat across from you with his eyes wide since that look of concern was too obvious on you. "Uh... Hi," you stutter out in a low voice as he leans towards the table, his arms resting on the table as his fingers intertwine. "Why are yo-" "Ya," you get interrupted as Jongin yells out all of a sudden and that's when you notice Ailee pacing towards you. She pushes Jimin into the bench even more and takes a seat beside him. You eye her worriedly but don't say anything since Jongin beats you to it. "What happened? Did he follow you here too?" "I don't know... oppa, just go back to work please. I don't want to bring attention because that would make him realize it." She whines out as she pushes him away from the table and you stare at the two of them back and forth, wondering how Jongin listened so well today. "What happened?" You ask her once Jongin leaves. "I told him we're done for real this time... that was two days ago," Ailee spurts out as she tries to keep her voice low. "And then I noticed it yesterday that he had been following me. I don't know what he wants but it's damn scary." You could tell how scared she was, it was obvious but it was readable when you see her hands shake. Ailee already had a stalker problem before and if Young Do is doing the same thing, especially after knowing about it... he's an asshole. You try to calm her down, forgetting about Jimin completely even though he was sitting right next to her. Apparently he was a good listener, judging from the way he sat still the whole time and didn't even budge. You listen to Ailee's story while offering her water, even though she had asked for a bottle of soju. It was six to seven minutes later that you four thought Young Do probably gave up but just as you were about to mention it, you see his figure in front of your table. "I need to talk to you," he starts even before introducing or greeting. Not that you wanted to hear anything from him. He sounded like he was demanding her rather than even ask her if she wants to. Reason one of why you despised Young Do. "I don't want to hear anything." Ailee retorts straightforwardly. Even though she was terrified, she still didn't show it completely in front of him. Or maybe because she felt safe with you and Jongin around. Young Do grabs her wrist with force and that causes you and Jimin to react right away. "Hey man, she said she doesn't to talk." Jimin says as he frees Ailee's wrist from his grip and gives Young Do a warning look. "Who's this? You're new sugar daddy?" Young Do snorts and chuckles but Jimin's remain unchanged. You see his jaw clench and the veins in his neck pop out. "Ya, did she seduce you too? She'll run away in the e-" "You really want to continue this here?" Jimin interrupts him with his voice sounding as cold as the wind outside that causes goosebumps and chills to rise up your body. Young Do clenches his fists even before Jimin does anything and you already hope for something to stop them. "What're you going to do? Huh?" Young Do challenges him as a smug look paints both of their faces. "Ailee, can you move please?" Jimin smiles at Ailee and you both know what'll happen if she does move and lets Jimin out. "Jimin-sshi, forget it..." you whisper as your hand grabs his arm. His eyes move away from Young Do and land onto where your hand fisted his sleeves, making you let go hesitantly. You see Young Do's figure stumble back and look up to see Jongin's hand push him aside. "This isn't a place to fight," Jongin steps between Ailee and Young Do, keeping his hand out to keep him at a distant. Young Do challenges Jongin as he smacks his hand away and walks too close to his face. You were starting to get anxious as a lot of attention was beginning to divert towards your group. You close your eyes for a second just to hope this ends well even though it didn't look like it would. "If you want to make a scene, take it outside." "You're the same guy who took her home last time... Aah, I definitely would love to take this outs-" "Stop it you guys," Ailee interrupts right away as she pushes the two of them to give her space to get out. She walks towards the entrance door after telling Young Do that she'll "talk". He follows her after giving the three of a glance and then leaves. "Stay with (Y/N). This bastard could have someone around too." Your eyes widen at his words and you and Jimin share the same confused and shocked look. As you both sit back properly, you keep on turning your heads towards where the other two had left to speak. You were already worried and anxious since Young Do could get a little too violent at times, regardless of who it is he's dealing with. Out of all the guys, Ailee had to choose him. You keep noticing how Jimin's eyes kept on looking towards you over and over again. As if you weren't nervous enough, seeing Jongin run out the door made your body turn cold. Your body reacts immediately even before your brain could comprehend anything and you jolt up and run towards the same direction as Jongin. You hear Jimin telling you to wait or slow down but you couldn't. This seemed way too serious at this point. After taking one turn into an alleyway, you freeze when you see Jongin yelling at Ailee, the two of them arguing and you're about to walk in between when you feel a tight grip on your wrist. "Don't... interfere," Jimin commands as he tries to catch his breath again. "You can't just let those two fight like-" You protest but a small "oh" leaves your mouth when you see Jongin and Ailee shut each other up by pressing their lips together. You and Jimin stand there for a few more seconds until you clear your throat and drag him out by his sleeves silently. The two of you walk back towards the cafe silently but then you give him a brief explanation. "Jongin always had a crush on Ailee. I guess she feels the same way, judging from what happened back there. Guess we should let them be for now," you look over to Jimin who was nodding in understanding at the detail-less explanation. The rest of the walk was beginning to get quiet but then you remembered something. "How did you know I was going to be in the cafe today?" "Ah, I texted you. I thought you came there because I asked you," you frown in confusion but then remember the unknown number and quickly pull out your phone to see the messages you had forgotten about. Unknown number [9.19pm]: it's me, Jimin. how are you? took your number from Jongin hyung. Unknown number [9.20pm]: I'm at the cafe ... I believe we were supposed to meet? You bite your lips at his text as you suddenly remember his remark about being single and it causes you to blush. You clear your throat after saving his number and shoving your phone back into your pocket. "I was so caught up with Ailee and all-" you blurt out, hoping it didn't make him feel insulted or hurt but he cuts you off. "Hey, it's okay. I understand." He smiles at you sweetly and it feels like deja vu as you two reach the cafe once again and he sighs. You look at him and smile softly while looking around. It was getting kind of late and you had to be home by now. "I'm not busy at the moment, I can walk you home." He suggests nicely and you were glad he offered but still try to refuse out of habit. "Ah, it's okay. I can wa-" "You don't have to refuse, I came to meet you so I'll get more time this way." You feel your face getting warm at his comment and thank him silently. "Let's go?" You nod shyly and gesture him to walk in the direction of your apartment. As the two of you walked towards your place, it got better and less awkward between you two as you exchanged random conversations about his classes and his friends that he lives with in the dorm and you told him how you had to show your parents that you'll be fine on your own and moved out the house so you'd be close to your university. And you also had given a brief explanation about the issue of Ailee and Young Do as well so that he could understand more of why today was this serious for you and Ailee. Once you reach your house, he smiles at you before speaking. "I'm glad we got to meet today," he starts off and you already feel sad thinking about when you're going to meet him next time. Maybe if he could stay a little longer... "Oh, your umbrella," you cut in before he says anything else and turn to walk into the house but stop to say something out of your comfort zone, without even thinking. "Uhh... would you, umm... like to come inside?" A smile appears onto his lips and he looks away shyly before following you inside. You tell him to take a seat on the couch while you walk into the kitchen area, voicing out whether he'd like coffee or tea. He refuses for both options and asks you not to do something like that. Typical first guests act. You smile at him and ask him what he'd like and the answer is as plain and cold as the water you hand him a while later to satisfy his request. You didn't know what to do as the nerves in you were starting to build up one by one until they stopped in your throat, making you want to throw up. Even though you and Jimin had gotten along on the way back, this scenario was still awkward as you watch him look around fondly. "Your place is cozy," he compliments after he's done with his inspections. "It shows that a literature major lives here." "Thank you?" You say confusingly, causing Jimin to chuckle. "It's good. My room is like that too, to be honest. You should visit someday." Your eyes widen at the next proposal. Is this how he is always? Before you even speak, he beats you to it. "I should really get going now, thank you for today." You stand up and watch him walk towards the door and then remember why you had actually invited him in the first place. "Ah, wait!" You exclaim out and run infto your bedroom as you grab the umbrella quickly. As you walk towards him and stretch out your arm to hand him his umbrella, he breathes out a silent laugh and it does nothing to calm your thumping heart. You clear your throat before speaking so your voice doesn't let you down by cracking. "Thank you again for this." "My pleasure," he smiles sweetly once again as his eyes almost close because of the smile. You bite the inside of your cheeks to hide the smile that was threatening to appear on your lips too. "I'll see you later then?" "Yeah, sure." ~~ After that night, texts from Jimin had become a daily thing in your life. From good morning and good night texts to talking about each other's days to very, very random topics. The two of you got closer and closer each day, and each of those days, your feelings grew too. You didn't tell anyone about how much you two had talked but you were sure Woosung and Ailee probably noticed since they'd end up sighing every time you smile at your phone. Every day that passed by, you'd find yourself waiting for his texts. And when he won't respond or text, it would affect your mood too much which was starting to scare you. It had been a month since Jimin had visited your place and since Ailee and Jongin's relationship too. You had met Jimin once after that time too but it was more of a coincidence than planned. The two of you were at a comic cafe to relax yourselves from the stress of the midterms and you couldn't find a better way to relax than read comics and so did he. Though you regretted wearing your old, oversized grey hoodie with your black leggings that day. You could've chosen a better outfit at least but he saw you that way and there wasn't anything you could do. You were sitting outside in your campus park with Ailee and Woosung again as you three silently stuffed your mouths with food after a long day. You were on your phone and so was Ailee while Woosung was busy with watching the scenery laid out in front of him of the green campus ground and the students scattered here and there. You were explaining something to a classmate about your project then once you were done, you place your phone on the wooden table. Jimin hadn't texted for almost two days now and you were really, really missing him at this point. The last text you had sent was two days ago too, a text saying: You [11.49pm]: you've seen me in okayish clothes and you've seen me in that traditional hoodie of mine... It was a conversation about how you'd dress in specific places. It was a random topic but it had started when Jimin reminded you how you looked tiny and like a small koala bear in the hoodie you were wearing at the comic cafe. Quite embarrassing if you ask, since that hoodie was really old and it looked like it too. You probably looked homeless... Your phone's vibration pulls you out of your train of thoughts and flashbacks and you pick it up immediately as a smile forms when you open the message. Jimin [10.17am]: and I'd love to see you dressed up too. You [10.18am]: and how is that possible? Jimin [10.18am]: since it's the end of the semester... wanna come to our party? You jump up when Woosung's voice rings in your ear, startling you completely as he makes a comment. "He's got skills..." You look at him confusingly as you try to calm down from the jump scare while Ailee was eyeing you both with even a more confused look. "Stop it," you smack his upper arm lightly as you push him aside to move back into your place and open up your phone again to reply. You [10.20am]: I mean... not a party person but sure? You bite your lower lip as you start to imagine all the little scenarios in your head. He invited you. You. To his party. You weren't exactly the party type of person but if it was someone inviting you, you wouldn't say no right away unless you didn't know the person well. But Jimin... well you kind of knew him and maybe this was one way to know him more. More about the people around him and how he is when he's not looking like the calm before a storm. You wanted to know and see what he's like when he's in a different atmosphere, when he's the one who's hosting and known by others. You wanted to go just because he was there. ~Jimin's point of view~ He sees your message a little while later after he leaves the bathroom and goes back into his room. The guys were planning a party before the finals started in a week and it was normal since they had always done that. Jimin [10.47am]: great. i'll pick you up at 8 then. He smiles to himself as he throws his phone on the bed before walking out to the hallway towards Jungkook's room. "Jungkookie~" he sings out sweetly whilst opening the bedroom door to see the younger one busy on his laptop. He didn't notice that Jimin was there until he saw the reflection on his laptop screen. "Hyung, you could've knocked." He complains as he removes his headsets. "As if you'll hear me if I did... anyways, who's going to be here tonight?" "Jin hyung has dinner with his family so he said he can't and also he said he'll be staying at his home tonight. Hoseok hyung said he'll see when he'll be done with the dance classes. The rest... you know... will be here." Once he's done listing the guys, Jimin nods then pats his shoulder and is about to walk out but stops when Jungkook speaks again. "You're acting weird..." "Sorry?" Jimin looks at his friend with an oblivious look but stops when the younger doesn't buy it. "Ah... the girl I met, (Y/N), i invited her too so I guess I'm nervous." Jungkook scoffs at the last word and shakes his head while he turns back to play his game. Jimin walks down the stairs to prepare something to eat since his stomach had been grumbling for a while now. While he spread the strawberry jam on the bread, his mind wandered to you. What will you wear tonight, how will you look after you actually put on effort in your looks. You already looked attractive and adorable in the casual thing and even in that horrible hoodie of yours. It still looked cute and made Jimin want to see you more and more in any way possible. Maybe inviting you to a party won't be a good idea since there will be people he knows and some don't get along with him. What if they pick fights while you're there? What if his ex... his actual ex is there? He didn't worry too much about the one night stands or the girls he kept around for a while, like the freshmen. But the two people he didn't want there tonight were: Miyeon and his ex. Miyeon wouldn't say much but after a day or two, she'll create a huge argument with him for no reason at all just because he "drank too much" or "flirted with another girl". And he really didn't want to ruin this for you. As for his ex, she was shameless. After all they had gone through, she always had the audacity to come back unexpectedly. Jimin had taken care of it a year ago but he still saw her around at times, saying things like "it's a coincidence" or she'd say "didn't think I'd see you here." Tonight, it was for you. If only, he just wanted to know you more at least then maybe he can take it slow later but tonight, he wants his attention to be for you only. Tonight, it's to start something new. He was about to go upstairs to text Miyeon to make sure she doesn't show up tonight but stops in his tracks when the doorbell rings and Yoongi walks into the kitchen after a while, followed by Miyeon. "I was going to text you just now," Jimin comments when she walks towards him silently. Yoongi didn't bother listening to the conversation as he silently got into making a snack and coffee for himself. "Were you going to invite me?" She asks, voice full of hope. "No, I was gonna tell you not to come." Jimin's words come out as rude as ever, making both Yoongi and Miyeon look at him in surprise but Yoongi knows not to butt in so he gets done with his task quickly and leaves the room before things get serious. He hated being there when people fight and ask for him to back them up... unless it's really needed then he'd step in. "Why? Aren't you guys having a party tonight? Why can't I be the-" "You know why," Jimin finishes up his juice and drops it into the sink before walking out the kitchen. He knew Miyeon was following him into the bedroom so he kept the door open as he walks in and sits on his chair to organize the papers on the desk. "Who are you meeting this time?" Miyeon asks. She knew by now what Jimin does when she's not present at these kind of parties. He would either bring a girl or target one in the place and take things to different levels. Though she usually wouldn't say much to him before, just a few days of ignoring or avoiding after a small argument but this was getting too much that she actually started to get hurt. "Jimin-" "Miyeon-ah," Jimin sighs out in frustration as he spins his chair to face her. "You know you're not supposed to ask me these things." "It's getting too mu-" "Stop. You know what we have between us isn't exclusive. You know that, I know that and maybe everyone around us do too. So stop." He warns her strictly as he gets up to look for one paper that apparently went missing. He didn't want to fight Miyeon, she was just a friend who knew what she put herself in and that's why he never wanted her involved but she still did and he had to make it clear. But to Jimin, it seems like she still can't accept it. He realizes that it probably came out too rudely so he breathes out in frustration again. "Look, i told you before any of this started and you said you can handle it. I would never do that to you but you said it was easy to handle it." "I know you told me not to Jimin but I'm starting to have actual feelings. I already did from long ago but I could control it before... not now," Miyeon confesses weakly as her eyes start to water a little. Jimin feared this. Ever since him and Miyeon started this, whatever this was, he feared this would happen. That she'll catch feelings and it'll be too late to go back. "I told you. Miyeon-ah, I told you. I fucking told you not to do this," his voice rises with each word and it makes her flinch a little. "What was I supposed to do, Jimin? You really think it's easy, do you? What was I supposed to do?" She whines and screams out this time, making the atmosphere even more serious as he runs a hand through his hair. "You should've left! You should've left with no feelings. I told you that you can leave if it gets too mu-" "I love you, Jimin!" This time it's Jimin who gets surprised and stares at her in disbelief. This isn't how it was supposed to be... this wasn't supposed to happen. He breathes out loudly as he runs his hand through his hair again, looking around at anything but her. He couldn't look at her because he knew what he did and that's why he never wanted Miyeon to be involved in these things. But things turned out this way and this was out of his hands. He couldn't see her this way. It was his fault but he had to ruin her more if he had to fix her, if he had to help her escape this. The silence was starting to creep in until Miyeon breaks it by speaking again. "You think I don't know what you go around doing? You think I don't care when I say I don't... or that it doesn't hurt me?" Jimin finally looks at her in the eye and decides to throw in his "discoveries". "Don't act so innocent. You think I don't know that you meet up with other guys... and girls? You think I don't know what you're up to? You're seriously getting unbearable day by day, you know that? Acting like this with me and then claiming this." Jimin scoffs at her expression but before he says anything else, she mutters out something so low that he demands her to repeat. "Say it again. Go on. Say-" "I do that to hide away my feelings towards you or stop whatever this pain is!" "Don't act like I never warned you or told you what THIS is! I made it clear before and you said you can do-" "Well, I can't do this anymore!" The two of them scream at each other back and forth until there's a knock on the door and they both look at the same direction as Yoongi walks in with a cold glare. "That's enough," he says with a calm but demanding tone that manages to shut both of them up. "You two need to relax and talk it out. Not scream out your lungs." As he says that, both the guys' eyes widen when Miyeon bursts out crying and drops on the bed. Jimin looks at her with a pitiful and broken look as tears threaten to leave his eyes too. He looks away and clears his throat to stop himself. It wasn't as easy since he could feel Yoongi's eyes boar holes in Jimin and his ears picking up the sniffles of Miyeon. He really didn't want this to happen. At least not to her. As much as he messed around, he never wanted Miyeon to get hurt since she actually meant something to him. She was someone who he had a soft spot for. She was always pure and innocent, she kind of understood him well and she always did her best when it came to Jimin. There was only one other person who had the same soft spot in his heart before Miyeon... his ex. The girl he hates with all his energy now. The girl he can't stand anymore. The girl who ruined him and he had done the same with her... it was a never ending cycle. Yoongi orders Jungkook, who was standing outside the room with Taehyung, to bring some water for Miyeon from downstairs. He runs down immediately while Taehyung looks at Jimin from behind Yoongi but before the younger could do anything, Yoongi walks in the room and closes the door as he orders Jimin to sit down too. The boy takes a seat at the chair by his desk as his eyes look over at Miyeon, who was done crying in front of them but she still looked like she wanted to cry more. Yoongi hands the tissue box to her and walks towards the door again but he doesn't leave, just leans against it before he sighs out and speaks. "Whatever this is, I have no right to be in this... but I interfered because it sounded like someone had to. This... thing between the two of you, if it was getting this hard. Why did you continue to ruin each other this way?" "Hyung," Jimin starts but stops when there's a knock on the door as Jungkook hands the water to Yoongi that he ordered earlier. "I told her from the start what this is and that she could leave." Jimin says, way more calm than before as he watches Yoongi hand the glass to her and walk back to where he stood. "And it's not my fault that I have these feelings." Miyeon complains after she takes a sip, her voice shaking. Yoongi shakes his head in disappointment and clicks his tongue before his last statement. "This whole situation is wrong. From the start till the end. Now you two decide what you want and do it properly and maturely, yeah? Without trying to make it sound like you want to rip each other's skin out." Jimin looks up at his hyung and then at Miyeon who stands up quickly as she grabs her stuff. "There's nothing to talk about." She adds as she walks towards the door and leaves. Yoongi gives Jimin a death glare before he leaves too while Jimin sighs out in exhaustion with his palms covering his face. After a few seconds, he feels someone walk in and he looks at the doorway to see Taehyung leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't look happy or proud either. "You've done it now. What makes you think this is a good idea?" "Tae~" Jimin groans as he walks to his bed to lay down for a while and think it through. He avoids looking at his best friend who was still staring but sighs and confronts him again. "I'll talk to her." "It's not that ... and i don't think she would want to listen." "I know, but I'll take care of it." As everyone leaves the room, Jimin finally stares at the ceiling as he lets his thoughts take over and lets his mind wander off to Miyeon and - you.

~(Y/N)'s point of view~ You were done with your makeup and the shower at least one hour later after coming home from your classes. Today was a more relaxed day since one class had gotten canceled so you came home after lunch with Woosung because Ailee had to leave to celebrate her one month anniversary with Jongin. You were really happy for the two... after all the feelings they kept inside and how frustrating it was getting seeing Jongin stare at her lovingly, all by himself, they finally opened up and took the opportunity. You had told her and Woosung about going to Jimin's party and they both had to make lewd jokes about it. As if he'd do anything. What if he wasn't even interested in you that way? You shake your head out of thoughts and get back to getting ready. It was already 7.40pm so that meant Jimin would be here any moment. You had chosen a plain navy blue dress that hugged your upper body nice and tight, showing your curves and the shape of your waist but was less tighter waist down stopping just a bit above your knees. You looked good but you weren't feeling good. Not being used to these type of parties, you didn't know whether you should stick to dresses or just jeans with shirts. You stare at your reflection once you’re done and ponder over what your final decision would be. Was this okay? Should you change it - maybe you should. But as you turn to rummage through your clothes, the ringing of your phone startles you and you freak out when you see Jimin's name on it. He must be downstairs already; you had no time to change or anything so you grab your phone and a small purse before running out the door towards the stairs that led you downstairs to the entrance of the apartment building. Before opening the door to step out, you freeze to take a deep breath and relax your nerves then proceed to open the door to be greeted by Jimin, busy on his phone. As he hears the door open, his head shoots up to look at you and you watch his eyes widen a little. Once you get closer to him, his eyes look you up and down as a smile rests on his lips, making you blush at how he was eyeing you. "Does this look okay?" You ask nervously as you flatten the cloth and smooth it out for no reason. He doesn't respond right away so you try again. "It's a bit overboard, right? I'll change it." As you turn around to run upstairs, Jimin stops you by grabbing your wrist and he smiles contently while shaking his head. "You look really pretty. You don't have to change this." Your heart starts to crash against your chest as your mind only focuses on one thing, his hand around your wrist. You'd do anything to keep it there at this point. He breaks your thoughts when he lets go and speaks. "Let's go then." You clear your throat and walk behind him, watching him open the car door for you while a smile is still painted on his lips. Such a gentleman, you think to yourself while whispering a thank you to him. Once you're on the way to his dorm, you share conversation together and as you get close to his university, Jimin starts to tell you things about tonight so you don't feel uncomfortable. "... and most of the people, we don't even know them well." He laughs at that then his eyebrows raise when he remembers something. "Speaking of that, I'll introduce you to two or three of my friends, so in case you get lost or don't find me just go to one of them. Don't trust anyone else other than them." His tone was calm but really dominating and you smile shyly while you look at him. "You think I don't know how these parties go?" Jimin turns his focus from the road to you then reverts at the road and chuckles when he sees your amused face. "I'm just saying... it's not your college and if you feel uncomfortable or anything then you'll have people you know." He explains softly and your heart melts at how caring he was being and how soothing his tone was, especially at this atmosphere. By the time you reach the dorm, you could see how many people were there already. It was 8.15pm when you arrived and for some reason you did feel uneasy. Jimin was right. You really didn't feel in the right place and it was making you nervous. You feel a hand rest on the small of your back and turn to look at Jimin offer you a sweet smile, making your heart jump and skip a few beats at the contact. He pushes you lightly to make you walk towards the house that had music booming from inside while you look at the few people outside the house and prepare yourself for the inside of this lively place. When Jimin opens up the door, the first thing your senses pick up is the smell of alcohol and the loud music. They really knew how to throw a party. The lights were dim and you saw the colored party lights put here and there. There was even a small Dj corner and a group of people already dancing, you walk past the kitchen and the atmosphere there was a little less crowded and chill as people went to get drinks or food. Overall, the place was crowded with people already and some were drunk already too. It was the typical university party but since you weren't used to these things, you were starting to feel even more uncomfortable. You notice how some girls were eyeing you, maybe because of the fact that they knew you weren't a student here. Or maybe it was Jimin and how he was close to you, pushing away people to give space to you that had people give you stares. You jump up in surprise when he leans towards your ear to say something over the loud environment. "Let's go out to the backyard first." He suggests as his hand grabs your wrist again and he leads the way, making a clear path for you along the way. You were grateful for him at this point. When you two reach the backyard, the energy here was a bit different from inside. Students were playing games like, beer pong or jumping into the pool or just drinking. A group of guys grab your attention when they yell out Jimin's name and he walks towards them. He smiles at them smugly when you reach them and you smile shyly while bowing a little. "Here she is, (Y/N)," Jimin sings out and the 4 boys smile at you sweetly and it doesn't help calm your heart whatsoever. He points at one boy one by one as he says their names. "Okay so this is... Jungkook, Jin hyung, Hoseok hyung, and Taehyung... these are my friends and if you need anything and I'm not around, just let them know okay?" You nod hesitantly and smile at them all again. "Yoongi hyung... where's he?" "He's being the Dj we never asked for since he doesn't approve of all the songs we picked." The boy named Taehyung speaks before taking a sip from his red cup. "Would you like to drink anything?" The Jin dude speaks and you forget how to speak for a minute. He was mesmerizing. The plump lips and those pretty, glistening eyes of his and his blonde hair dropped down and stopping right over his eyebrows. He was just too pretty. He chuckles at your state and shakes his head. "I know, you've never seen anyone this handsome, have you?" You frown at his words confusingly and watch the others laugh as one of them hits Jin lightly. "I'm here if you need anything... we all are." "Thank you," you finally speak up and listen to the others talk about random things. You didn't know Jimin was gone for a while until he came back with two red cups, handing one to you. "I don't know if you want to drink right away so I brought you coke." You feel soft as he says that and smile at him thankfully. The four guys made you relax after a bit more chatting and told you who was the oldest and youngest and also gave you a small brief of what each of them do and major in. It was mostly business but they still did other things that weren't business related. You also found out that Jimin and the rest of them were all super rich kids who were probably the heirs of their fathers or grandfathers' businesses. But the person who caught your attention the most was Hoseok, he was a dancer and also owned an academy that he worked hard for. He was really nice and made you feel nice and comfortable. Telling you stories about one of them or Jimin, making sure you didn't need anything or if you were feeling okay. Jimin kept going and coming every now and then since a lot of people would want to talk to him about their issues but thanks to Taehyung and Hoseok, you didn't feel uncomfortable. Around 10pm, everyone went to have fun in their ways or flirting around. Jimin was with you, leaning against a pillar as the two of you bucked along with the beat of the music lightly. You hadn't drank a lot of alcohol but you were worried if Jimin was starting to get drunk. Or maybe he was just having fun. You were watching Hoseok and Taehyung dancing together until you feel Jimin drag you into the pool of people and he starts to dance too, encouraging you to join him. If you hadn't had some of the drinks from before, you would never agree but the adrenaline in you was begging to be released so you let the music control you. You feel his hands grab your waist and control your movements to sync with his as he gazes at you with his dark eyes and a smug smirk on his lips. Your heart beats harder than it was already beating as you look at his plump, red lips and lick your own before leaning in towards him. He rests his forehead against yours but before any of you could move one more step up, he moves back when Taehyung drags him outside, leaving you to dance alone but eventually you walk into the kitchen to grab something to drink. It was rude to just leave like that but maybe they had a reason since you saw them from the kitchen's window outside on the backyard with serious looks on their face. You bite the inside of his cheek since it was still not right to just leave midway like this. Jimin basically ditched you in the party since you didn't see him after that until you walk through the hallway to see him drunk and flirting with some other girl. Their faces were really close and he had her trapped between him and the wall and she had a small smile on her lips that made you sick and jealous. He also looked like he was too drunk to make sense of anything. You contemplated whether you should go to him or not and you decided to walk away to find someone to hang out with. You spent the rest of the time with Taehyung and Hoseok and they also had you meet Yoongi too. He was pretty - just like all of them. He seemed mature and kind of intimidating with a look of pure disinterest, though he did look like he was having fun when he was controlling the music. You talked or just listened to them talk but your mind was elsewhere. The thought of Jimin with that girl was too much and you couldn't handle that. He invited you here to spend time together yet he left and found someone else to have fun around and that hurt you. You weren't going to wait for him to appear again. This wasn't right to you and sure you just met him and he must be well known here or maybe he had reasons but you weren't going to stay in this party and be sad when he doesn't come. It was almost midnight when you had decided to leave without a word. But once you walk out the house, a familiar voice speaks out, making you turn your head. "Leaving already?" It was Yoongi. He didn't seem drunk or anything. Did he not drink? He was leaning against the wall but pushes himself off it to walk towards you. "Uh... yeah. I'm tired." You reply nonchalantly but don't look at him. "I'll drop you home," Yoongi says and walks towards one of the parked cars outside the garage. "Aren't you drunk? It's illegal to drink and drive." You say that to try and turn down his offer but he wasn't taking no as an answer when he opens the door and sits in so you just sat in the car. You did need a ride home and Jimin said you could trust his friends. "I don't drink a lot and... I didn't drink tonight." He comments when you relax into the seat. The car ride was mostly silent after you had explained your address to Yoongi. He played music but kept the volume really low and kept his gaze on the road. Neither of you say anything but then Yoongi breaks the silence, making you turn your gaze and attention to him. "A right from here?" He asks for reassurance and you nod, whispering a yes. He hums lowly and clears his throat before continuing. "Umm... I apologize for how Jimin acted earlier. He usually doesn't get drunk that quickly." "It's okay," you say and try to continue but he speaks again. "No it's not okay. He shouldn't have done that but... if you're mad then I hope you forgive him. He had a fight with one of his friend in the morning today. She's a close friend and it got serious and she left without resolving so maybe..." Yoongi drifts off and lets his words fade away when he notices you staring at him. "Look. All I'm saying is that, he isn't always like this... he wasn't like this," he rephrases his words and tries to explain as you continue with your stare. You frown at his last sentence and start to ponder at what he really meant but instead of asking about that, you ask a stupid question. "Were they dating?" "What?" Yoongi's eyes widen and he looks at you before turning his focus back on the road. "The friend he fought with... were they dating?" "Uh... no... not that I know of. She's a close friend to all of us so I don't know," he states but you could have sworn you heard his voice shake. The rest of the ride was silent. You were too annoyed and kind of hurt to speak more. Yoongi had dropped you off and drove back to the party after saying that he'll let Jimin know. You only nodded to that then thanked him for the ride home and went inside. All of this, all of this makeup and the worry of the outfit turned out to be useless and for nothing. Of course you weren't looking for something drastic or different to happen but somewhere deep down you wished you did experience something more than just... this. It had been a week since the party. You hadn't met Jimin or talked to him as of that. He did message you the day after the party, apologizing for the most part and saying the same thing as Yoongi had said but then that was it. He disappeared. Again. You figured he likes doing that since he has done that more than once now. The good side of you always ended up with creating excuses for him... maybe he was busy, maybe he had some issues that were personal, maybe he was studying. It could be anything. But something in you always told you to be careful even though you had ignored that voice before. But for some reason, you wanted to meet Jimin, hang out with him, get to know him. You just missed him. And that moment the two of you had shared in the dance area that night, you kept going back to that memory even though it would get ruined by the image of him flirting with another girl. You were in finals week now. Tomorrow was your last exam so you had packed your bag to go to your parents house for a few days after your exam is done. You were currently at work, you requested your manager to let you work earlier so you have time to study later on and not stress over it. Standing behind the register was your task today... it was as boring as ever since not many people were coming in here at this time. You had at least 20 minutes left to go and you were getting exhausted but thankfully your shift was almost over. You were busy flipping pages on your notebook when you hear the shop door open up and a guy walks in with a little girl. You welcome them politely and watch them go through the displayed clothing items. The two were busy talking to your co-worker as she was helping them out with their process and you just stand there, waiting for them to come up with their things. The door opening gets your attention again and you look at the guy that walks in and your heart drops for some reason. He was wearing a black cap and a mask and the only colors you saw on him were the little ends of his pink hair sticking out from beneath his cap and his olive green jacket, other than that he was in full black. His head turns to your direction but then he looks away quickly and walks further into the store. Something in you starts to make you a little uncomfortable. You keep an eye on his figure as a precaution but your attention gets taken away when the first customers come up to the counter. You smile at the father and daughter and explain the process to them if they want to return or exchange after giving them the change. Your eyes skim over the store once they leave and you notice how that guy was staring at you too. The blood flow in you becomes rapid and you suddenly grab your phone without making it obvious... the situation just seemed suspicious. You try to act calm and normal when he approaches the counter and smile at him softly. "Welcome Sir, how can I help you?" You ask as you straighten up. When you see his eyes up close, he just seems familiar but you don't focus on that too much until he pulls down his mask. Your body turns cold right away when he smiles at you sweetly. He stands there with an apologetic look and a sweet smile at the same time. You put on your "tough" face and look away to fiddle with something else. "What is it Jimin?" You ask in a serious tone without looking up again. "I came here to apologize for how I behaved that day at the party. I shouldn't have ditched you or ignor-" "I am at work now Jimin. I can't talk about this here." You watch his expression change in a matter of seconds and it causes your heart to drop even deeper down. Of course you were mad at him and you were going to show it but... you were scared that he'll leave and disappear again if you act cold. "When do you get off work? I'll take you home." You stare at him blankly, disbelief written all over your face. He wasn't asking, he was stating it. You knew you had no time to refuse or argue so you tell him to wait somewhere outside, letting him know that you'll be done soon. Jimin was sitting at the bench near the store you work at. He was busy with his phone when you step outside and he doesn’t notice until you clear your throat to inform him of your presence. He shoves his phone into his pocket and smiles at you. "Did you eat anything? Let's go get something to eat," he suggests but you refuse him quickly. "No... Jimin, I have an exam tomorrow and I need to study for it." He stares at you for a few seconds before speaking. "I do too. But let's eat before I take you home, okay?" You just nod and follow him towards the food court since you knew you had no other options. The two of you ate together and Jimin even apologized a lot for what he had done the last time you had went to the party. From the information you gained by listening to his side was that the girl was someone he had known for a while and she thought he had some sort of feelings towards him. The other thing he had used to his defense was that he was very drunk that night due to some issues he wanted to forget. And that had you remember what that Yoongi guy had told you that night too so you stare at Jimin and nod at him before speaking. “Your friend Yoongi told me that you had a huge fight that day,” you say as you take a sip of your drink. “Yeah, she’s someone I really care about. And when we fought, she stormed out without really talking it out with me.” You were staring at him speak and get lost in your thoughts for bit. Trying to read his expression, you realize later that you were staring too much so you clear your throat and look down at your drink. You knew he was staring at you too but by the time you look back, his eyes were at his plate. “Did you guys make up now?” You ask to make things less awkward and he shakes his head no before continuing. “I texted her to tell her that I want to see her but she ignored it. Seenzoned me.” He chuckles it out and you notice how his smile actually disappeared after he looked down. He must be really sad about it. You stare at him for a bit trying to figure out why did that girl mean so much to him. Yoongi has given you a brief explanation of her being a close friend but you knew there might be something else. Jimin’s expression made it look like it had to be something more. You were about to ask something else but he beats you to it first. “Anyways, when is your final tomorrow?” “Ah... it’s at 10.30am.” He nods at your reply and continues. “So it’s a bit earlier than mine,” you frown at his statement and wait for him to continue. “I was thinking... maybe we can hang out together tomorrow?” Your body turns cold at his words for some reason and you stare at him for a bit, thinking if you wanted to be petty or just be straightforward. “I’m going to visit my parents tomorrow after I’m done...” You tell him and watch him nod in understanding, disappointment written on his face once again. The two of you eat in silence for a while but then Jimin starts conversations little by little and it gets less awkward for you and you forget about the last time you two had went out together. Once you were done, Jimin offers to take you home and you knew he wasn’t taking no as an answer. The car ride was as casual and relaxing as the meal you had with him. He was so different and nice today and you found yourself staring at him often. Everything about him seemed more welcoming this time, his energy and the attention he put on you, it all felt so nice and welcoming. Once you had reached your place, you didn’t get out the car immediately. The two of you stare ahead, neither of you saying anything for a while. You look at Jimin and your body turns cold when you catch him staring at you already. He doesn’t look away even when you catch him staring. The blood rushes to your cheeks quickly and you feel your face turn warm gradually. You clear your throat before speaking. “Umm... thank you for dropping me home, Jimin.” You thank him nicely as your hand tries to unlock the door, making an escape from his gaze. “No problem,” he smiles sweetly. You give him a smile back and turn your head afterwards to look for the darn door handle since your hazy mind wasn’t helping you. Your body freezes when you feel his hand wrap around your free wrist all of a sudden as he says your name in a low voice. You look at him with a confused face and a hint of surprise. “Yes?” You ask when he didn’t continue. “I was thinking... actually, I wanted to ask when you’re going to go to your parents tomorrow.” “Umm... maybe around 3pm I think. I didn’t pack yet so I’ll probably pack tomor-“ “I want to take you there.” Jimin interrupts you and it takes a while for you to comprehend what he had just said. When Jimin realizes the shocked expression on your face, he adds more to it, letting you know that you have a choice. “If that is okay with you.” “It’s okay with me but-“ you say almost suddenly, your mind noting the embarrassment you felt right when you said. Once that embarrassment grows, your words fade away and your eyes find comfort in how his hand was wrapped around your wrist. You fall silent. You didn’t know how long you two had stayed quiet for but it did feel long for you when Jimin finally asked. “But?” His face tilted a bit so he could see your face. When you look at him, your eyes meet for a long time and you could feel your heart beat faster and your pulse run faster too. “My parents... they wouldn’t really...” you were lost in his eyes by this point. The confused error mode you were in made him look at you in amusement as you tried to get words out. “It’d be really nice but it’s just... my parents...” “Well, isn’t it too early for parents to meet me?” You see his lips stretch into a small cheeky smile as your body and mind freeze at his words and you stare at him with wide eyes. He breaks into a small laugh once he realizes you were really shocked by his words. You didn’t comprehend his statement well since your mind was bringing up a lot of reasons and scenarios and possibilities. Jimin must’ve noticed the confusion so he smiled after a while and continued, “I’m just saying I’ll take you there... we don’t have to meet your parents if they won’t be okay with it.” He asks for your answer and you look at him for a while as your mind comes with a proper way. Your mouth opens to reply to him and a smile is dying to stretch your lips while you answer. The next day. You walk out the class after the exam hours are over, Woosung following you after with a exhausted sigh. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and you both share a tired smile. The two of you meet Ailee outside and she gives you guys pats on your backs with a huge smile. “You guys are donee~” she sings out while her hand keeps on smacking your shoulder. “Ugh... I think I got at least 10 questions wrong.” You stare at Woosung in surprise after he talks and while he looks in the distance, focusing on nothing. “Why?” He gives you a sarcastic expression as his eyebrow raises. “I don’t know... maybe I didn’t know it,” his tone was drowning in sarcasm and you smack him to stop his sarcastic attitude. “Well I tried to help you in studying but you’re not even focusing much lately,” you say and watch him walk towards an empty picnic bench. You lightly push him from the back in annoyance and give him a frustrated look. “You’re still not focusing.” Ailee smiles at you and walks in sync with you towards the bench as well. You fish out your phone from your bag and look through the notifications you got, trying to see if that one message came or not. A tiny smile emerges on your lips as you read Jimin’s message that he sent an hour ago saying that he’s still up for it to take you to your parents home. You feel Ailee’s and Woosung’s eyes on you and it makes you look up with a straight face as you clear your throat. You could hear their taunts in your head already and before you could stop them, Woosung suddenly speaks. “What’s so fun on your phone,” he asks but you could tell from his tone that he wasn’t expecting an answer so you wait for him to continue. “Did you pack yet? I haven’t.” “Ah... no not completely,” you say casually. You had to tell him that Jimin was taking you to your parents place this time. You and Woosung lived in the same neighborhood during high school when you both still lived with your parents and your parents were close too. There were a lot of times when he was the one who’d taken you to your parents house whenever you wanted to visit after you moved out for university. You could tell he wasn’t in the best mood today so that was making you nervous. You knew he would feel frustrated after hearing it right now. “Actually...” you open your mouth to speak and see them both stare at you, anticipating your words. It was making you even more nervous and you start to stutter. “Wait,” Ailee interrupts you and looks at you and Woosung back and forth. “You two are going together? What about Jimin?” You look at her in disappointment for bringing this up like that. You told Ailee last night after you went home how Jimin offered to take you to your parents house but you didn’t tell her about Woosung agreeing to take you too. The look on his face was scary enough right now too and it made you ten times more nervous than you already were. You give Ailee a “how dare you” smile with disbelief written all over your face. “What about him?” He asks and you knew you had to say it now before he loses his patience. A tired Woosung was not meant to be messed around with. “The thing is,” you shift in your seat as you speak and move a little close to Woosung even though he was across the table. “He... ummm... he told me he’d take me... to my parents’ place.” You study his expressions, eyebrows frowning in confusion then his eyes shifting and his jaw clenching. He doesn’t say anything so you just ask something. “Are you mad?” “Yes. I am,” the tone of his voice was no joke either and it gave you chills down your spine and you could tell Ailee had felt it too. Before either of you could speak, he continues. “Why is he taking you and why did you even agree to him taking you there?” “Woosung, she likes him. That’s why.” You could tell Ailee was on defensive mode now too and you silently wished these two wouldn’t argue. “Okay. And? (Y/N), you just recently met the guy. Spent a couple days with him only and he even ghosted you a few times. How dumb can you be right now?” You were now annoyed too. Sure, Jimin has ignored you before and it hurt you but he was still responsible enough to own up to his mistake and make it better. “What does it have to do with anything, man?” You ask him in annoyance and frustration. “Look. I know we both agreed to going there together but this is one of the few chances I’ll get to meet Jimin. I don’t want to waste the-“ “You’re not wasting anything but yourself,” he interrupts you quickly. “Excuse me?” You scoff at Woosung’s words and you could tell he kind of regretted it too but that didn’t stop him. “Come on, the dude has fuckboy written all over him. You don’t see it?” “Yeah well you can’t just judge someone. Besides you haven’t even met the guy, you only saw pictures and heard stories,” you retaliate. “And those were enough for me to realize what kind of a dude he is,” Woosung makes his last point and stares at you with an upset expression. Almost as if he was disappointed in you. “You’re so blinded by his looks and his flirtatious manner. You don’t even see why he’s trying so hard.” “Oh wow. Thanks Mr. I Can Read Through People. I really needed to hear that,” you mock him sarcastically. He opens his mouth to argue back but just lets out a defeated sigh and looks away. “I can’t believe you. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he gets up with a sulky expression and grabs his bag. “Reach home safely you two.” You and Ailee watch him walk away with disbelief painted onto your faces. You were confused to why he was even mad at you for this, it was understandable at some extent but then he was yelling at you for something you wanted to do. This wasn’t like Woosung at all. He words left a tightening feeling in your chest and a lump created in your throat. You were hurt. You give Ailee a confused look and she speaks up, “Don’t worry about it. Just go with Jimin. I’ll talk to Woosung,” she tries to calm you down since it was clear you were now worried and hurt. “You’re not even close to each other to talk about these things,” you leave a remark as you get up as well. “I have to go pack. I’ll see you after a couple days. Have a good break.” “You too,” Ailee smiles back at you and squeezes your hand as a gesture to let you know she’s here. You manage to smile back at her and walk away. By the time you showered, got ready, and packed up your bag, Jimin was out the minute you finished up with everything and pinged his message to your phone. You look back at your apartment to make sure you weren’t forgetting anything for the week that you’re going to spend with your parents. Your parents were usually very strict with you during your high school days and the first year of university. It was Ailee and Woosung that helped you in convincing your parents to let you move out since it was a big hassle to commute for 4 hours back and forth everyday. You couldn’t live with Ailee since her apartment building had no vacancies back then so you choose a place near her and as for Woosung, he lives really close to the campus and there was no way you were going to risk asking your parents if you and him live together, even thought he’s literally the only guy friend you have that your parents are okay with. You two did grow up together and are really close. Your mind reminded you of your argument with Woosung earlier, causing you to take out your phone from your pocket to see if he sent anything. He didn’t. You were very hurt and also worried as your parents might get suspicious to how you got there and using the bus was a big no no to them as well. You couldn’t lie either since your parents and his parents would make a mini gathering welcoming the two of you for the visit. You bite the inside of your cheek as you make your way out of your apartment to go to Jimin. You were happy to spend time with him but this whole Woosung issue was eating you up right now. Jimin looks beautiful, as usual, in his blue jeans and his black turtle neck, sleeves rolled up too. It made your heart jump for some reason and you think to yourself, “how can someone be this good looking in such simple attire?” You must’ve looked concerned since the minute you stand in front of him, his smile disappears and he tilts his head trying to study your expression. “What’s wrong?” He asks you, causing you to feel your blood rush inside you for some reason. You contemplate whether you want to tell him or not because at this very moment, you really needed a hug and Jimin looks welcoming - too welcoming actually. “Oh, umm...” you start off and almost tell him nothing but something in you tells you to be honest about it. “I had a fight with one of my best friend, Woosung. And he stormed off without saying anything.” “Oh. I’m sorry about that,” Jimin replies honestly and you can tell he’s worried about you more than Woosung or the fight. “Are you okay?” He asks as he steps closer to you and you shake your head lightly as you recall the argument. “I just want a hug right now.” You state your want and without thinking, Jimin wraps his arms around you body and pulls you into a hug. Your eyes widen as you were clearly shocked by the sudden contact but you can’t help but take in his warmth and his “manly” scent. He smells very comfortable for some reason somewhat a mix of eucalyptus and spearmint which makes you wraps your arms around his waist as you squish into his warmth and hold. You two stay like this for a minute or so and he pulls back with a smile and takes your mini suitcase with your stuff in it from your side to put it in the car as he opens the door for you. You thank him in a low voice and give him a small smile as you sit in the car and watch him walk over to his side of the car. He sits comfortably and runs his hand through his hair before sighing lightly and looking your way. You look at him too, waiting for him to say something. “You can talk to me about the argument if you want. If it makes you feel any better,” he tells you as he starts lowers the temperature of the air conditioner. You look down at your hands and think about it for a while. He might give you a bad reaction once he finds out why Woosung even stormed off and you were somehow worried. You bring up the courage to tell him but you make it quick and short and after you’re done telling him, you notice a different look on his face and you’re worried you pissed him off. You bite your lower lip as you wait for him to say something. A part of you wishes you hadn’t even agreed to him taking you to your parents house... what were you even thinking. He clears his throat and looks at you with a sweet smile once again and says. “Well, I don’t know what to say to be honest,” he says calmly. “I can understand why your friend would be mad but I’m also glad you made your own choice. And umm...” he pauses for a bit, taking your hand into his and looks at you. You stare at him too and your cheeks turn warm the minute a thought pops into your head. You even forget that he didn’t even finish his sentence. “I’m glad you chose me.” He says with his soft voice as he stares into your eyes. You could feel the blood rushing through your entire body and you could feel him coming close, or was it you leaning towards him. It was silent in the car for a bit and neither of you broke the eye contact until the sudden ringing of Jimin’s phone gives you a jump scare which you laugh it off. Jimin clears his throat and lets go of your hand, making you miss the warmth right away. He runs a hand through his hair and starts the car before answering his phone. He was talking to Taehyung and it sounded like he had to cancel something to be here and it made you feel a bit bad. Jimin tells you it’s nothing to worry about and that he can hang out with his friends any other time too after the call had ended. The car ride was actually really fun. The two of you got to know more about each other. Your hobbies and the friends you have and how many siblings he has. One brother. His friends were a lot but according to him, his circle is the one you had met back then at the party. You told him about Woosung and you talked about how Jongin became close to you and Ailee too. You also found out that Jimin had a very strict father but his mother seemed adorable. He talked about a huge fight that happened between some of his friends too which caused one of them to cut ties with most of them. He didn’t go into details but either way to you, it seemed like Jimin still cared for that Namjoon friend of his. You were all-ears to his stories and it was just natural how the two of you were talking so peacefully and it wasn’t awkward at all. The ride itself was peaceful and really fun. It was a great relaxing moment for you to spend time with Jimin with you two being alone for so long like this. By the time you reached the town, you started to worry how you will tell your parents you got here with Jimin. They might end up killing you for going out with a guy they don’t know anything about. And it won’t work lying that you came with Woosung since you didn’t know if he is still on the way or if he already is there. Your mums would probably have a gathering at night once they see you. You were wondering what to do when a chime comes from your phone, bringing you out of your thoughts. It was from Woosung. “Woosung said to meet him at a bus stop near my house so I think that’s where you should drop me,” you say to Jimin who had his ears perked and his eyebrows raised. He only nodded so you decided to guide him through the streets until you reach the bus stop. Woosung was already there when you reached. He was sitting with a kid and they were both smiling while the mother was on her phone. It somehow made your heart flutter and you ended up smiling too. You turn to thank Jimin and wish him a good vacation but he suddenly suggests that he will drop you both to your houses since it’s be better. You get out the car to greet Woosung who greets you back but his smile drops when he sees Jimin come out the car too. “Thank you for bringing her safely,” Woosung says out of the blue. “We’ll be heading our way now.” “I suggested to (Y/N) that I will drop you both to your homes. It’s across each other anyways.” Jimin says coldly and you already sense the tension between the two. When you saw how Woosung reacted earlier, it was clear that he didn’t like Jimin. But you never realized that Jimin doesn’t fancy your best friend either. Maybe it was because of what happened and that you told Jimin what Woosung said about him that might give Jimin the wrong idea. You were silently panicking inside, trying to figure out what to do now. The two of them were quiet and you felt it, the tension this silence was bringing. Before you could even say anything and before Woosung could reject the offer, Jimin smiles and tells him to get in as he grabs his backpack. Woosung takes it from Jimin’s hand and walks after you. You could tell he wasn’t happy about it but he didn’t argue either. He ends up suggesting that you sit in the back seat for now and you knew it wasn’t going to get you anywhere if you disagree right now so you silently obliged to his suggestion. You saw Jimin’s “fake” smile and the small frown his eyebrows were falling into but he didn’t say anything. The three of you buckle up and the car starts to move towards your street. Looking out, you end up remembering the memories you had here when you used to live here. The times you and Woosung would walk home from the bus stop and the shops you’d stop by at to get snacks. Those were some great times in your mind and you hoped they were great times in his mind too. He was a really special friend of yours and you didn’t want to think of life without him in it. Woosung’s voice brings you out of your memory lane and you look at the back of his head as he tries to converse with Jimin. “I didn’t think you’d be a guy with pink hair,” he jokes sarcastically and Jimin lets out a small snicker and chuckle before answering. “I just wanted to try something new,” he says softly while his eyes were on the road. Your heart flutters at his voice for some reason and you sit and stare at him in awe with how gentle he seems and how good he looks doing the most minimal things. “I see,” Woosung says, making you come out of your thoughts. “I have always wanted to dye my hair light red or burgundy red.” “Oh really? You should,” Jimin adds, “but I hope you choose well because not everyone can pull off colors like that.” And you could see the way Woosung scoffs and speaks. “Yeah, I know.” You didn’t understand whether they were genuinely having a conversation or were they subtly throwing shade at one another. Either way, you were being completely ignored even after you tell Jimin to take the upcoming turn which he misses. The two of them were just “talking” and the car passed the turn and you just sit and wait for them to stop. “Umm guys,” you say after they both become quiet. “Yeah?” They say in unison. “We passed the turn,” you tell them and Jimin lets out a small “oops” then Woosung asks why you didn’t mention before and you scoff at him. “You were sitting in the front!! You should’ve seen it tooo,” you complain. “Plus you two were so busy talking that when I did say it, I got ignored.” “My apologies,” Jimin says in his calm voice as he turns the car to take a u-turn. “I was so engrossed talking to my new friend.” He adds and you could tell the sarcasm in his tone. “Why, me too,” Woosung retaliates sarcastically with a smile that you just couldn’t figure out. You could tell the atmosphere wasn’t good and you sat and beat yourself up in your head for thinking it’d be a good idea for the three of you to be in one place. Especially on this specific day. You were relieved when Jimin stopped his car two houses away from your house since you didn’t have to worry about what will happen of these two spent two more minutes around each other. Woosung was getting the bags out and Jimin just stood there smiling at you while you smiled back at him. You thank Jimin for bringing you here safely and ask him what will he do now. “Well,” he says while looking around. “I saw a motel around here so I will stay the night there and drive back tomorrow.” “That’s good. I should text you the good places in the town then!” You exclaim rather excitedly and it causes Jimin to smile at you. The kind of smile that makes your stomach melt and your heart skip beats. The kind that gets you lost in those few seconds making it feel like a long time had passed. “Yes, thank you for dropping us,” Woosung interrupts and clears his throat. He lightly pushes you forward to keep you walking and reminds you where you were. He turns and thanks Jimin for bringing you safely too and you smile at how his nice side is always there no matter what. He starts to walk towards you but then turns around and says something to Jimin and they both nod. Unfortunately, you couldn’t hear the words that were exchanged that moment but they seemed less tense then so you guessed it’d be a good thing. Once Woosung comes up to you and gestures you to keep walking, you decide to ask him what it was that him and Jimin said but he just shook his head and said “nothing special”. The rest of the evening was pretty much the same as always when you and Woosung would visit your homes during break. His house was just on the opposite side of your house so his family would bring in food to your house or yours would go over to their house. Today, it was your family that were hosting. Dinner was good as always. Your father was a chef and his food and cooking were just delightful and homely. Everyone was talking and chatting about each other or asking you and Woosung of life in the city. You were relaxed when no one asked how you got here because had someone mentioned it, you knew you’d get nervous. Your parents never really approved of you meeting up with guys they didn’t know. Or any guy as a matter of fact. But Woosung had always been an exception. Sure in the first years of your friendship, there were many incidents that must’ve been hell for Woosung but with time, your parents just seemed much more relaxed when they knew he was around. After everyone had settled and eaten, everyone was busy with their own thing. Your parents’ were drinking wine and talking about God knows what and you decided to walk out to the back yard. You were actually thinking of Jimin and if he got to a hotel safely and if he ate or not. You were wondering about him when you hear the back door slide open and Woosung smiles as he joins you sitting on the porch. There was an awkward silence since you two hadn’t talked about what happened earlier at the university today. You still didn’t know why Woosung reacted the way he did. He seems like he’s feeling better right now but you really weren’t sure at this moment. This was the first time he snapped and reacted this way towards a guy who was talking to you. To be honest, you were quite taken back and confused by it but of course he has his reasons so you wait until he feels comfortable enough to tell you. Which by the looks of the vibes meant that he was going to say something, maybe he didn’t know how to start or what to say. “Is everything okay?” You ask, deciding to help him form words and start the conversation he so desperately wants to have. “Oh - uh - yeah,” Woosung stutters and clears his throat. “It’s just... I wanted to apologize about how I behaved earlier.” He wasn’t looking at you but at the grass and the wooden steps that you two were seated on. “Earlier as in?” You ask trying to clear out which earlier he meant. Did he mean the morning at your campus or when him and Jimin were sharing the sarcastic and unpleasant remarks back and forth? You wait for him to reply but he seems like he was really having a hard time getting his thoughts right. You had never seen Woosung this way before and it made you wonder if he really was alright or not. “Woosung?” You add, genuinely worried now with how he seemed. The puzzled and confused expression he had and the uneasy and uncertain look in his brown eyes was not something you were used to. Despite knowing each other for so long, this was the first time he seemed the way he seemed tonight. He looks at you and smiles softly before continuing. “The things I said earlier about Jimin and you back at uni,” he starts. “And also how I got mad at you.” “It’s okay,” you reply but he interrupts quickly. “No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have said the things I said. Yes that’s what my opinion still is but I’m sure you know how to handle your life and I shouldn’t have interfered with your life like that.” You frown at his words, not really knowing how to react or say to that. He still seems like he doesn’t fancy you being around Jimin and just couldn’t understand his quick judgment. Usually he would try to hang out and talk about it with you but why was he so annoyed at Jimin specifically, you had no idea. Woosung looks at you and smiles once again before saying. “I’m just worried about you.” And with that, he gets up and walks back into the house. You sit there bewildered with his energy and his words, wondering what was going on with him for him to behave this way. Yes he is awkward at many cases and he sometimes finds it hard to express how he feels and all. But this just overall seems like a whole different scenario to you. This wasn’t how you’d usually expect Woosung to act like. Was he still mad at you? Were you supposed to apologize to him too? You didn’t even know. A ping from your phone pulls you out of your thoughts and a smile forms on your face when you see Jimin’s name. He had texted to ask you if you ate and you two sent texts back and forth until it was time to sleep. By 11pm, your parents had already fallen into their sleep and you were still awake. Jimin texted you after a while suddenly and his text made you blush but also nervously excited. Jimin [11.15pm]: Can we meet now for a bit? You weren’t sure why he wanted to meet so suddenly but you sure didn’t mind at all. Your parents wouldn’t mind you leaving the house either since you would usually walk out the house or go for a walk whenever you visited so it wasn’t something abnormal. But you had to make sure they don’t know about Jimin and you had to make sure no one in the neighborhood or town would see you two together. There was a hiking track near your neighborhood and you decide that’s where you and Jimin could go. It would probably be empty... plus there was a spot you had which had the view of the town from there. You text Jimin back and ask him to stop next to the house he stopped at before while you go and put on some tights and a hoodie since it’d probably be breezy out. Your heart skips a beat when you see his reply that he had sent right away after you suggest where he should stop. Jimin [11.20pm]: already been waiting there *wink* How long had he been there? You smile sheepishly and tell him you’re walking towards there now. You spot his car and notice his eyes on you as there was a smile plastered on his face too. He sings out a sweet hello when you sit in the car and leans in for a hug. You were taken back by the hug but you hug back with just as much enthusiasm as he was hugging you. He smelled really nice too. His hug was cozy and warm and you could tell your heart will yearn for this comfort in the future too. Once the hug was broken, you see how he had his hair slicked back and wow did he look stunning. Your mind wished he’d kiss you and you instantly blush at the thought and look ahead, clearing your throat. He asks you where you should go and you suggest the “secret” place and he chuckles lightly at your choice of word and lets out an “oooh” teasingly. Looking in the back of the car, you notice he already had got some drinks and snacks as well which causes relief in your mind that you won’t have to go through the town and risk being seen with Jimin. Once you reach the spot, Jimin turns off the car and reaches back to grab the bag of snacks and drinks which makes you notice his features close up and the shape of his neck and jawline. Your mind was busy coming up with sinister thoughts that were too inappropriate for younger ones. Jimin smirks lightly and it causes you to blush and look away quickly. He probably knows what you were thinking about judging from his cocky smile. When the two of you close the car doors, you finally remember the peace this place brought you. The cool breeze and the distant noises of people or critters. The way the night wrapped the town and the way the stars shine. It always brought you a kind of peace you never found anywhere else. This specific spot right here held so many memories as well and it was a place to unwind and release all the thoughts or stress too. You just loved it here. You watch Jimin walk towards the edge of the cliff and he looks around in awe, his eyes sparkling at the sight and he breathes out a “wow”, barely a whisper but you could hear it. A smile forms at his reaction and you walk next to him putting your hands in your pocket and speak. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” You ask and he nods silently. “Very,” Jimin adds while his head turns to look up at the stars. “I see the Big Dipper from here too!” He suddenly exclaims excitedly, pointing towards the sky and you laugh out while agreeing with his excitement. “Wow, I like this secret spot of yours.” He adds after a while. The two of you were quiet at first when you decided to sit on a long flat rock. You shared snacks and you drank cola while Jimin was drinking a can of beer. He loved beer apparently. He said it helps him relax after a long day to set his mind loose and ease himself. Out of the blue, you just suddenly started talking about your memories here. Memories from highschool, the day you first met Woosung and how the two of you got close. Your memories together and your friends. You opened up about your parents and how they are strict and how you can’t really confide in them when you have a hard time in life. Jimin listened throughout the entire time. He actually sat there and genuinely listened. Only speaking when he felt like he needed to make remarks or he’d laugh at a memory that was funny or cute. Unknowingly, you two got closer to each other as the night grew deeper and cooler. Jimin was only 2 inches away and he was leaning on one of his stretched arm which was stationed behind you while you were feeling cozy close to him. You were so busy talking and enjoying the view and time that when you turn to look at Jimin while laughing at a memory, you notice how his eyes were on you. His eyes were studying your features and he seemed determined to achiever what his mind was telling him. Your smile slowly fades away as you make eye contact and then your eyes fall to his plump lips and you feel him getting close... or maybe you were getting close to him. Your mind and body completely alert and nervous about what was going to happen. Nervous about all the thoughts you had, all the wishes and hopes you had to interact with him. Your eyes close the second your lips graze against each other.

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Hope you all liked this! Part 2 will be coming out too!!

Leave a comment or ask or feedback! I will appreciate it :)

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 10: Believer

Hello everyone!

I apologize for my lack of posting. I have barely survived midterms and I have found myself with a writers block once more. I am hopefully going to be able to give myself a little break between the end of the semester and after finals and the beginning of my summer courses. Thankfully I only have 2 summer classes so hopefully that will make it easier to post. 

I have some announcements coming up soon and I will hopefully finish writing the missing chapters for this story and only have to post and edit. So far, I have not been able to edit anymore so I apologize for any grammatical error. 

I really hope you are enjoying reading the story because I had a really great time writing it. Hope you have a great weekend!

I apologize for constant flashbacks but they are important to the plot, I promise!

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 4k

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Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog​

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 10: Believer

"Very well, this seems like a good start." She said as she finished reading his confession. She moved towards the camera and turned it off, signaling that she would be taking the paper and would adhere to her part of the deal.

"What is she doing?" Spencer whispered to Emily. "Without a video confession, the written one can be considered coerced. We would be back at square one."

"There is the surveillance camera, genius."

"Of course she has a backup plan." He looked at the black camera, smiling at the knowledge.

"Now tell me, who left you, was it, mom or dad?"

"My dad." She readjusted in her seat. "How many victims did you kill total. We've found five, but it seems to me that is a low number for someone as angry as you."

"Fifteen, some of them are lost in the desert, some are by the arches, they should be found fairly soon." He shrugged and continued to look at her. "Why did he leave?"

"My mother got pregnant when she was young. It was a mistake, they didn't love each other. They married because of me, so it was only a matter of time before they broke, and break they did." She fought the urge to look back, hoping that nobody aside from Hotch would review the security tape. "Did you kill your father?"

"First one. He's in the arches, his favorite place in the world."

"Did your mom not accept his apology?"

"Well, he didn't really apologize until I had a gun to his head, but my mother was always kind, so she forgave him."

"Why did you kill him then?"

"I didn't forgive him." He winked at her. "Did you look for him?"

"I did."

"And?"

"That's your fourth question."

"I don't care, I want to know."

"He is dead. As dead as can be." She said out loud for the first time. "I hired a private investigator and found he crashed his car two years after he left us."

"Karma is a bitch."

"Why keep killing if you got rid of him?"

"For the same reason, you joined the FBI." He smiled at her, "to show my dad that he wasn't gonna dictate my life. That I was not going to let him be my end goal."

"It seems to me he is. You tracked him down, killed him. For some that might be enough. But you never got closure so you decided to pray on people who made mistakes. Where did you find them?"

"I worked at a counselors office."

"Well, that is rather obvious now. Maybe you should have gotten some help yourself." She stood, ready to leave the room, "hope you enjoy prison." She turned to exit the room.

"My final question, if you had found him, what would you have said?"

"I don't know." She responded.

"Bullshit."

"Well, I couldn't  ask him why  he left because I already know that, so I don't really know what I would have said." She turned to him, "what did you tell him?"

"I told him trousers weren't his thing." He stood, the handcuffs falling from his hands as his smile grew wider. "You should really be more careful with what you leave laying here, doctor."She reached for her gun but everything happened so fast she had no time to fire it. He seemed to run into the wall, only this one was not as hard as it seemed and a giant chunk collapsed as he made his way through, and just like that he had exited the station. Prentiss and Reid rushed in and through the now giant hole in the station but the man was nowhere to be found. Lucas Heavensbee had just vanished on her watch.

"Fuck!" She yelled and made her way to the office, the team was now making their way to the interrogation room but stopped in their tracks as they saw her approach. "I need access to the security cameras, now." She moved towards the security office and asked for the feed of the last couple of weeks to be played, there she found there were about three days missing. "He planned this, and someone helped him. He knew exactly what he was doing. That bastard played us!" She rushed out and into an SUV, driving directly to his house that was now under surveillance. She looked around, looking for anything that would indicate he had been there. It was fast to spot it, he had managed to slide through the police cars and left a note for her.

I just wanted to make sure you knew this had nothing to do with you doctor, but I simply can't let my father win. I am sure we will hear from each other, and then we can converse from one orphan to another. Until then.

She was ready to show the note to them, as Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid made their way through the house. The note was still crumpled in her hand, but as the local police entered she decided against it. The two agents were the best people she had ever met, she knew it since the moment she joined the FBI, and she knew they were trying to make her feel better about the whole situation, but there were some things she couldn't get past. This man had killed fifteen people and kidnapped so many more and he had slipped right through her fingers. He had made a fool of her, and she would be damned if she didn't catch him. Telling Emily and Spencer would worry them, and they would be on her case about it becoming an obsession, just like she had done after their first case.

One year ago (I think?)

Her leg bounced as she drove with the social worker and two of her co-workers. This was her first big assignment, and she wasn't sure she would measure up. It was also important to note that while Emily and she tended to get along well, Spencer and she hadn't spoken almost at all since the sweater incident.

"Should I introduce you as FBI agents?"

"No, I think it's best if we come as social workers, there is less hostility." Prentiss' said as she gave both Reid and her their fake badges. She placed her FBI ID inside her bag and took a deep breath, it was a simple mission, they would be in and out.

Never, and I mean never, say something will be easy, as this almost assures you that is not the case. The social worker, whose name was Daisy, had been shot and was now dead. They had become trapped in the middle of a war between the cult leaders and the local police. It's as if the universe wished to remind her just how much bad luck she could have.

She heard them talking to the FBI, and food had been delivered so she assumed they had implanted microphones. Now they had to find a way to communicate with them and let them know what they had concluded.

"Which one of you is it?" The man said as he pointed a gun at them.

"Are we playing tag?" She asked stupidly, earning a glare from her partners.

"Do you think this is a joke? Which one of you is the FBI agent?" She turned to look at the woman and man, trying her hardest not to freak out.

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked, clearly nervous.

"I will ask you one more time, and if none of you tell me I will not hesitate to shoot all three of you. Which one is the FBI agent?"

She saw Emily stir and knew she had to act fast if she wanted to save her. "I am." She said before either of them could stop her. "I'm the FBI agent. Though I'm fairly new so I don't really have that many secrets to tell. I was barely cleared to be on the field. If you really think about it, I'm not very helpful, so I think maybe if you let it slide I could-" she felt a fist connect with her right cheekbone, silencing her.

"Take her to the back." He instructed one of the men. She gave one last reassuring glance to her teammates, hoping this wouldn't be the last time she saw them.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, the door to the room she was in opened and Ben came in. You would think that having a name like Benjamin wouldn't exactly command respect, but she wasn't one to judge cults.

"Why are you here?"

"Because you told your men to lock me here." He slapped her across the face.

"Who sent you?"

"My boss?" Her response was received with another slap.

"Do you think this is a joke?"

"I think that you need to feel powerful because a part of you knows you're not enough." She spoke hoping her team could hear part of their discovery, even if she was receiving punches from the man as she continued. "You think you can get away with stuff because you prayed on the week, but deep down you know that there are people here who could stand up to you, and if they did you would be done for." She felt a warm liquid fall from her lips as he continued to beat her. "I know you pray on young girls. You're nothing more than a pedophile that uses the bible as a way to manipulate women to give their children to you." As she fell he started kicking her and she tried to avoid making noise, but the pain was too much. "This is nothing, I've dealt with worse." She spoke, hoping they would understand. "I've dealt with much worse, this is nothing."

"Who do you think you are?!" The man said, enraged at her defiance.

"Nobody, just the one person that knows you better than you know yourself." That earned her the hardest hit, and she knew she wouldn't be conscious for much longer, she had to let them know. "Your suicide won't work, there are people that are skeptical and you know it. This isn't about God, or even your preferences, this is about you Ben, and how you are so terrified to go back to prison you are willing to kill your followers to avoid it, because you know they would see right through your act, you are nothing but a coward." The last kick took place and the man left the room. "Don't change the plan, I'm okay." She whispered, hoping they could hear her, wishing that even if she died right then and there, they could save the people trapped in this church.

When she woke, a woman was there tending her wounds. "Be careful, I think you might have some broken ribs."

"Don't tell Ben, he might come and finish me off" she joked, but the woman gave her a pointed look as if letting her know that was a possibility. "How long have I been unconscious?"

"I don't know, maybe a couple of hours. They will come and get you for the ceremony, use you as an example."

"That's okay, I've always wanted to be one of those."

"This is not a joke girl, he's dangerous."

"I know. The trick is to have nothing to lose."

"Well, I have a daughter."

"Ben's wife, right?" The woman flinched at the mention. "You're not okay with that, are you?" And then, the pieces of the puzzle fit together. "You made the call, didn't you?" Before the woman could confirm her suspicion, a man entered and pulled her up, not worrying if her body ached, and took her to the church. She used the door frame to help her stabilize herself and took in the sight before her. It was still light, but with the time she lost she couldn't be sure how much time they actually had left. Emily and her locked eyes and she approached, her eyes full of worry, but her facial expression was one of pure anger and hatred. "On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate me?"

"How could you lie to us?" She asked, and as the men made their way to the front, her tone didn't change, but her questions did. "Are you crazy? Why would you do such a stupid thing? They could have killed you."

"I know, but it was either me or all three of us. Besides, I'm fine. We need you and Reid on the inside."

"This is reckless behavior."

"I know, but you were about to do the same."

"I have experience."

"Exactly, I can be a scapegoat."

"You are the most stubborn person I have ever met."

"I know, it's a gift. Now listen, I think there are mics, in the food, and if I'm right, I think I have been able to feed some information to the team, but we need to figure out when this massive suicide will take place."

Emily nodded and gave her an apologetic look before shoving her harshly. She fought the urge not to wince but it was almost impossible with her broken ribs. "You are a disgrace to this country, and I hope whoever you work for knows that they will not get away with it."

Ben looked over and stared at her, and despite her pain and the fear of another beating, she stared him down, letting him know that he would not get the best of her. She was gonna save as many people as possible and he could suck it. He was just another man who thought they were invisible because they weren't afraid to beat you up.

Spencer observed the interaction and the defiance she had amazed him. Despite the bruises and the swelling of her eye, not once did she lower her gaze or show any sign of weakness. Never in his life had he felt so attracted to someone as he did right then and there, but now was not the time to daydream of your coworkers, especially when they could be on the verge of dying.

As the day progressed, she continued to look for ways to tell the team, finally resorting to using the window to write a message. When she was younger she used to huff into a window to create fog and used it to write, so she did the same, letting the team know she could possibly convince some people to exit and they could come in after.

"What are you doing?" The woman from earlier spoke as she entered the room.

"If I'm gonna die, I might as well go doing something I like. Fog drawings." She said and covered her work. "Listen, don't ask me how I know this, but the FBI might strike tonight and if they do, he's not gonna cooperate, we need to get as many people as possible out."

"No, I can't do that."

"Please, I know you're scared, I'm terrified right now. I might have peed my pants earlier today, but that's not the point. The point is we need to save as many people as possible. Please help me get them out." Through the window she saw a figure, holding three fingers up. She nodded and turned back to the woman.

"Three a.m.?"

"You saw him too?"

"Yeah, one would think the FBI would be a little more discrete."

"We have our moments. Now please, make sure to get everyone out before then." The woman sighed and nodded, agreeing to the plan. "And one more thing, the people I came with, how are they?"

"Are they also agents?"

"No, of course not. I just dragged them into this and feel responsible for them. They are good people."

"The man seems to be fascinated by Ben, and vice versa. The woman keeps pacing around as if hoping for enlightenment. She has talked to some people though."

"Okay good. Please make sure to get them out too." After she left and closed the door, the woman sat down, her injuries making it hard to breathe. "I don't know where I am, or how to get out, but that will not change the plans okay? I need to make sure all these people are safe."

She wished she could hear someone ensuring her that would be the case, but there was no answer. She felt herself get dizzy and knew there was definitely internal damage that would take time to heal. Turns out her mother was wrong, money couldn't get you out of everything. It felt like an eternity, but she knew the time was approaching. She saw and more and more dark figures gathered around the church. She even caught a glimpse of Derek, who seemed to be looking around, as if hoping he could find her. She huffed one last time and wrote a message to him.

The door opened and nobody came in. She knew what it meant, so she gathered her remaining strength and walked out. Everything was dark and she could hear Spencer's voice coming from the main room. She followed it and stopped as she noticed him trying to talk a man down from placing explosives. She cursed under her breath. She stepped forward only to be pulled back by someone.

"Don't even think about it." The man said.

"Derek, we need to help him."

"I know, I'll go, join the rest. Everyone is already out."

"But-"

"Go!" She began walking out before it all happened. Reid ran towards them and Derek pulled the both of them to the nearest and hopefully safest area before a sharp pain on her head made her vision blurry and soon after she lost consciousness.

"I think she will appreciate it if you showered." She heard someone say, once she finally regained consciousness.

"Well, then she can tell me that herself." Another voice responded.

"Emily, you and Spencer have been here for a week. You need to go to the hotel and rest. At least the kid has been using the shower."

"I am not leaving until she wakes up. That includes leaving to bathe."

"Neither am I." A third voice added to the mix. "Though I can't say the same thing about avoiding water."

"How am I supposed to leave if I can't trust the two of you to take care of yourselves?"

"Easy, your flight leaves in less than an hour and you are still here. Unless you want to be paying fees you will get out of here."

There was a sigh of resignation before the voice spoke once more. "Reid, you're in charge until she wakes up. Then she's in charge."

"You're gonna put the one of us that was hit in the head 'in charge'? What does that even mean?" The female voice complained.

"I have made my decision. Maybe if you showered, things would be different." The voice faded, and the steps of the person became less clear, so she assumed the person was leaving.

"I think Morgan is right, you should take a shower."

"Don't make me hurt you, Reid."

"It was just a suggestion."

She didn't want to interrupt their banter, but her urge to sneeze was bigger, so she let her body do its thing. Though it is important to let you know that sneezing with broken ribs is horrible.

"She's awake!" Emily screamed and launched herself onto the bed. She started crying from pain after the action. "You're so happy you're crying!"

"Prentiss, that might be because you just jumped on her ribs." The man clarified as he stood, placing his hand on hers. The feeling was foreign, but she could let it slide once.

"I am so sorry! But I am so happy you're awake."

"What happened?"

"After the explosion, you hit your head, and because you already had injuries your body gave out, exhausted. Thankfully the ambulance was already there and we could rush you to the hospital. You've been sleeping for a good week." He explained.

"Well, then I don't get a lazy day for another three months." She joked and the two joined her. "How are the believers?"

"They're all safe and accounted for. Sadly we lost Ben's wife."

"Does her mom know?"

"Yes, but she wanted me to tell you she doesn't blame you and hopes you do get better." There was a moment of silence, as she processed the message, as well as her guilt.

"And I want you to know I ate your Jell-O." This caused her to laugh again. No matter how painful it felt, she was glad to be alive.

"Remind me to never get stuck in a hospital under the care of Spencer Reid. He'll eat my Jell-O."

"Let's make it a no trip to the hospital policy."

"Do I need to remind you where we work?" The woman shook her head, and both of them looked at her with a heartwarming smile. "I hate to break this moment, but please go shower, Prentiss."

"Ugh, fine." She placed a kiss on her forehead and moved out. "Reid, if anything happens, call me. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Got it."

She walked out and the two remained silent for a couple of minutes. Their hands were still together and she squeezed it to get his attention. "How are you doing? I wasn't the only one that got caught in the blast."

"I'm good. Morgan and I barely had a scratch, they cleared us that same day."

"That's good. What about the rest of the team?"

"They are all good. They wanted to stay but they had another case, Hotch said your family was out of reach so Emily and I refused to leave. Morgan also stayed behind but they called him up today, without three agents they needed all the help they could get."

"You guys didn't need to stay." She assured him. His grip on her hand tightened, enough to let her know he wasn't letting go, but not enough to hurt her.

"You could've died. Because of me."

"That's not true and you know it."

"I should've said I was the agent."

"We both know the reason he didn't kill me was that I'm a woman. You wouldn't have been so lucky."

"Still."

"Reid, listen to me. This is not your fault, and this is not Emily's fault either. I knew what I was getting into, and I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"You are one stubborn woman."

"I know." She smiled at him, "now please go find me some Jell-O."

He laughed, but nodded, letting go of her hand. Just before he exited the room he turned and gave her the most endearing look she had ever seen, "thank you, for saving our lives. I'll never forget that."

"Good, that way I can ask for favors at any time." They both chuckled and he left the room hunting for the dessert.

The reality in her brain, however, was not as calm as she portrayed. For months she had obsessed over what she had done wrong, and she had spent sleepless nights thanks to her recurring nightmare, in which Ben didn't hesitate to pull the trigger, and as she watched Spencer and Emily's bodies lie in a pool of blood. This alone was enough to make her train and perfect her skills, to the point of complete exhaustion. She wasn't going to fail, not again.

That was until Lucas Heavensbee had brought her right back to her dark hole.

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Alt-pop newcomer LVRA (pronounced loo-rah, real name Rachel Lu) has shared her first new track of 2021, ‘DEAD’. Following up on 2020’s debut EP LVCID, she explains: “There’s a unique power you gain when you stop caring about what people think of you. It’s an ongoing battle, though, and ‘DEAD’ is about the conflict between the fantasy of not caring and how you feel in reality. The video captures that, with a version of myself who has her shit together and another that is fighting to survive.The use of red represents fear in the human condition, but in Chinese culture it also symbolises happiness. One rarely comes without the other.” The track – a cultural mix that matches LVRA’s heritage with bleeding edge ultra HD pop – is the first taster of a second EP, which is set to follow later this summer. You can check out an Oscar McNab (Lacuna Common, Oscar Lang). directed video above. [via Dork]

Los Angeles artist Wallice follows debut single 'Punching Bag' with new coming of age anthem, '23'. Wallice finds herself caught between two places on fresh cut, '23'. “Too old to be a runaway”, but also too young to consider herself as grown up, the 22-year old yearns for a past that still has not happened yet. Working with producer David Marinelli since her return to California, Wallice has crafted a sound that is unique without taking itself too seriously. An angst-driven remonstration at the powerlessness of her age, '23' is also the clearest stamp of her musical identity to date. The expression of this purgatory is a cathartic garage-rock headbanger complemented beautifully by Wallice’s playful lyrics. “I just can't wait to be / all grown up and 23,” she admits in the song’s irresistible chorus. “Tell me what is wrong with me / I miss my Ohio fake ID”. In artfully portraying the limbo state of the age, Wallice describes the events in her life that have led to her own disaffection. “It’s hard not to compare your own professional success to that of your similarly aged peers. I dropped out of university in New York after studying Jazz Voice for a year, and my dad was VERY disappointed, to say the least, so it was hard not to feel like a loser in that sense. “The specific age 23 doesn’t have any milestones associated with it, but it’s more the idea of just looking forward to the future,” Wallice continues on the meaning of the track. "Much like how people ‘reset’ every new year, it’s comparable to be ‘older and wiser’ with each birthday, but instead of constantly looking to the future, it is important to be happy with where you are”. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Coach Party have shared their new single 'Everybody Hates Me'. The Isle of Wight group are gearing up to release their incoming EP, with After Party pitting their potent indie pop influences against bittersweet lyricism. Out shortly, the EP is teased by new thumper 'Everybody Hates Me', with Coach Party adding a neat gloss to their guitar pop sound. Out now, 'Everybody Hates Me' comes equipped with a neat video steered by Daniel Broadley. Vocalist Jess Eastwood comments: “‘Everybody Hates Me’ isn’t a metaphor for anything; it’s literally about those times when you convince yourself that everyone, including your best friends don’t actually like you, and your self-confidence is so low that you don’t even blame them. Disguise that sentiment in an up-beat singalong, and there you have the third single from our new record. The video is a direct extension of the song. It swings between the insecurities of feeling like you’re not good enough amongst your friends, and the sense of unity you get from those same people when you finally wake up from your rut. Everyone feels that way from time to time, but you gotta remember that sometimes your irrational self is going to take over. And when it does, try to remember that you’re awesome, and your friends really are your friends.” [via Clash]

Pussy Riot have gone hyperpop on their latest song 'Toxic'. The Dorian Electra collaboration features glitched out production by Dylan Brady of 100 gecs and tackles a relationship gone bad. Written, directed, and edited by Pussy Riot’s Nadya Tolokonnikova, the music video features jarring, bloody imagery matching Brady’s production. “Care about yourself, cherish your mental health, and stay away from relationships that poison you!” Tolokonnikova writes in the YouTube description. “Amen.” In the song’s lyrics, Tolokonnikova tells off an ex. “You are my daily poison so annoying,” she sings. “You’re even more toxic than my employer.” The hook continues the theme. “This combo is deadly — ’cause we used to be friendly,” Electra laments. “And now my heart is a weapon / You made me… toxic.” [via Consequence of Sound]

Baby Queen has dropped a brand new track, ‘These Drugs’. Bella Latham’s second new track of the year – following up on the anthemic ‘Raw Thoughts’ – she explains in an Instagram post: “This is a story I really needed to tell you and I didn’t know how to for a long time. When I first wrote this song, I honestly didn’t think I was going to be allowed to release it or that releasing it would be a particularly good idea. It just felt really important and that’s all I’ve ever wanted music to be; so I knew I had to share it with you.I was in a very bad place at the time… very depressed and convinced I wasn’t a good person and didn’t deserve good things. Life is different now. I’m happy. I’ve learnt that the antidote to my misery is gratitude and caring about myself even when I don’t want to, until it becomes a habit. It’s natural to look for escapism but there’s more freedom in working to build a life you like… and by that I literally just mean learning to love yourself. You, with all your scars and all your regrets, are home to an actual life! You’ve been through so much and you’ve come out the other side stronger because of it – it’s remarkable really. You’ve got to invite the sad parts of yourself in to have a tea party with you. Don’t ignore them and cover them up. If you don’t look at them, they’ll make themselves seen! You are so worthy of love and I hope that if you don’t see that yet, you will learn to in time. Anyways guys,” she finishes, “this is all very intense. I love you very much and I hope you can understand and relate in some way.” [via Dork]

Greentea Peng has shared her new single 'Nah It Ain’t The Same'. The UK neo-soul voice is an outstanding talent, someone who pushes herself further into that hip-hop / jazz nexus with each release. Produced by Earbuds, new single 'Nah It Ain't The Same' is out now, one that reflects the chemistry she has with her live band The Seng Seng Family. Dipping into drum 'n' bass, her vocals have a calming, beatific feel, with 'Nah It Ain't The Same' tugging at matters personal. She comments: “Deliberations of a (hu) MAN, subject to the pendulum's swing, I give you ‘Nah It Aint The Same’ off my album MAN MADE. An expression and exploration of my utter confusion and inner conflicts amidst shifting paradigms.” Greentea Peng stars in the new video, with Machine Operated sculpting the video. [via Clash]

renforshort has debuted a brand new single, ‘virtual reality’. The first taster of a forthcoming second EP, the track sees her “connect” with Kellen Pomeranz (Pom Pom), Jesse Fink and Beabadoobee collaborator Pete Robertson. “’virtual reality’ is a song that tackles many topics. But at its core, it really is about anxiety, routine, boredom, isolation, loneliness, and fear,” she explains. “I think a lot of people have a very unhealthy relationship with technology because it’s never really been restricted enough to consider mental health and overall health, and that has fucked so many people up, now more than ever. Ever since I was young, social media has played a major role in my mental wellbeing, and I became so accustomed to it, it became a part of my routine and it came before everything else. The moment I wake up, almost instinctively, I check my phone. Depending on what I see in the morning, basically determines how I’m gonna feel for the rest of the day. I hate it. But I can’t stop. And what’s most ironic about this all is you’re likely going to read this on social media or listen to the song on some sort of electronic device…” [via Dork]

Flock of Dimes has shared the second single from her forthcoming album Head of Roses, out April 2 via Sub Pop. Following recent single, 'Two', 'Price of Blue' is another standout from Wasner’s second solo LP, an album that showcases her ability to embrace new levels of vulnerability, honesty and openness, combined with the self-assuredness that comes with a decade-plus career as a songwriter, producer, multi-instrumentalist and prolific collaborator. It comes accompanied by an unearthly new video filmed in black and white, co-directed by Wasner with Graham Tolbert. Wasner says: “This song is about trying, and failing, to connect. It’s about the ways in which, despite our best efforts, we misunderstand each other, and become so attached to stories that we’re unable to see the truth that’s right in front of us. And it’s about the invisible mark that another person can leave on your body, heart and mind long after their absence. It can be difficult to make sense of the memory of your experience when the reality on the surface is always shifting—when the story you’re telling, or the story you’ve been told, unravels, leaving you with a handful of pieces and no idea how they used to fit together.”

Berlin-based indie-soul five-piece, People Club, announce their new EP Take Me Home, which is due May 7 and the band are sharing the title-track and new video. The title track 'Take Me Home' is a song about the realisation of mortality in old age and the cynicism that often plights the elderly after losing their loved ones and being left alone with their regrets. It is accompanied by a music video shot by long standing collaborator, Felix Spitta. Speaking of the process the band say, “Once again we worked with our very talented friend, Felix Spitta, who also shot the video for our last single Francine.  We basically spent a day fooling around at his house with a smoke machine and an old tape TV camera with a red filter.  The result is hazy and disorientating, just like this year has been so far.”

Introducing MARY., the dreamy alter-ego of musician and songwriter Stef T. The self-produced debut track, ‘Day to Day’, interlaces elements of electro-pop and R&B with a voice that enchants, along with an official video filmed, edited and directed by David Risdon and Charlie Rose Creative. Reading like a page in a diary, ‘Day to Day’ offers a candid and emotionally raw glance at being overlooked as a woman in a man’s world. She is put together, glamorous and poised on the outside, but on the inside she is simmering like a pot ready to boil over, fed-up and on the brink of snapping. Speaking of the track, Stef T explains, “’Day to Day’ is a reflection on what it is to be a woman in a role where you are always unseen; constantly giving yet never receiving. As woman, we are often undervalued for our day to day work in all aspects - as mothers, in relationships, in our careers; having to push extra hard to get the basic recognition and thanks that we are entitled to. This song is a commentary of a large part of my life where I settled, sacrificed and worked, only to be used and taken for granted. It is about learning to survive a toxic relationship, discover your own individual worth again and reclaim the power that you gave away to someone else. Producing this song myself is the only thing that made sense in context with the intention of MARY. as a project. She is an entirely self made, independent woman, who does it all and doesn't need a man to confirm that she's doing a good job. This is something I have personally struggled with, so I created the MARY. persona to feel more empowered in my storytelling as an artist, in an industry without a large visible number of female-identifying producers.”

Los Angeles based dream pop trio Tashaki Miyaki have just released a single and video of the title song from their forthcoming second album, Castaway, which will be released on April 23 via Metropolis Records. Singer, drummer and producer Paige Stark states that the song “is about the challenges of romantic love and how we are all bad at it in one way or another. The idea of a castaway in all this is that no one understands the relationship except the people in it, so you really are stuck on an island alone together there. Maybe you make it back to the mainland, or maybe you stay on the island.” Stark also shot the Sofia Coppola-inspired video on film, adding: "I wanted to tap into all the feelings that can come up in love relationships: anger, sadness, loneliness, vulnerability, stillness, joy, romance, longing. The actress in it has a beautifully expressive face and I've known her for a long time. I knew we would be able to create those moments together. I wanted it to feel like the camera was her lover, capturing her in various private moments, moods and feelings.”

With her Vanilla Shell EP celebrating its one-year anniversary last month, Danish-Chilean composer Molina is back with another abbreviated record in the form of the new single 'Cold,' featuring vocalist Jonas Bjerre, arriving with a pair of B-sides. The brief collection of songs continues her simultaneous journey inward toward the roots of Chilean music and outward into her own unique vision of the future. The project lands with a video for the A-side, which dreams up bizarre fantasy iconography in the tradition of Grimes and Björk to complement her subdued take on these artists’ out-there recordings. Blending ambiguous electronic sounds with the familiar drone of cello and Bjerre’s backing vocals, the track’s distinct persona may have more in common with the experimental soundscapes of artists like Jenny Hval or Julia Holter. [via Flood]

Maisie Peters has debuted her brand new single, ‘John Hughes Movie’. Described as the first single from her soon to be announced debut album, it’s a song about unrequited love, inspired by the legendary film producer and his classic coming-of-age teen comedies like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. The track comes alongside a video co-written by Maisie and director Louis Bhose (Loyle Carner, Arlo Parks, Lewis Capaldi). Maisie explains: “I wrote ‘John Hughes Movie’ when I was 17 about a house party that I had gone to. It’s a really honest depiction of being a hopeless, melodramatic teenager, being awkward and drunk and getting your heart broken by people you don’t even remember anymore. John Hughes films encapsulate that foolish romantic energy of high school and everything that I, a small town English wannabe Molly Ringwald wanted to be, but was not.” [via Dork]

Chloe x Halle have shared the music video for their song 'Ungodly Hour.' The video was debuted on Wedneday night's episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and shows the Bailey sisters going underwater for a sci-fi-style visual filled with choreography and elaborate adventures at the bottom of the ocean. Watch the Alfred Marroquín-directed video above. [via The FADER]

South London's Josie Man has returned with sentimental new single 'Cuts & Bruise', marking her first release of 2021. 'Cuts & Bruises' follows October 2020's 'Grow' single, and is accompanied by a Andrea Mae-directed video that shows couples enjoying tender moments, including Josie Man and her boyfriend. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Jessie Ware has shared a new short film for her song 'Remember Where You Are'. Her album What's Your Pleasure? arrived last year, a disco-fuelled missile that presented some much-needed good vibes amid lockdown. The songwriter returns to the record for her song 'Remember Where You Are', a soulful and uplifting slice of UK songwriting. There's now a full video for the song and it's steered by BAFTA winning director Dominic Savage. Starring British actress Gemma Arterton, it opens on Valentine's Day and finds the star wandering through deserted London streets. A glimpse of hope and renewal, it taps into the growing feeling that this time, lockdown might be coming to a permanent end. "It was a real pleasure to collaborate with Jessie and Gemma on this short film that is inspired by Jessie Ware’s beautiful music. It was also inspired by the real feeling that was felt when we filmed in the deserted streets of eerily strange lockdown London on a Saturday night/Sunday morning,” Dominic said. “The feelings and emotions in the film are a true reflection of what that felt like, and what this time invokes. Sadness, nostalgia, pain and defiance. But when we climbed Primrose Hill and the sun started to rise above the city, there was real hope and joy for a future that will surely be ours. Listening to Jessie’s music. There is no doubt of that." Jessie adds... "This song has always meant a lot to me and I was determined for other people to hear it and for it to be single. I am so touched by how many people have embraced this song, particularly when it's one of your favourite actresses and an acclaimed film director. Working with Gemma, Dominic and their team has been an absolute joy. To have them realise my song with a beautiful ode to London and the longing for human touch and interaction couldn't be more of a compliment. It's a truly cherished piece of work." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has shared her new single and video 'CURLED IN' ahead of the release of her second EP ANTIHERO on April 16, both via Nettwerk Records. 'CURLED IN' presents all her best qualities at its outset. From the track’s rip-roaring, slicing guitar to her perfectly forceful, omnipresent vocals, 'CURLED IN' is a pure cathartic release. "Tear me apart, just tear me apart," she all but demands: "I've never seen wrong be done right." She's fulfilling her simplest needs, and it's freeing. "It's a bit of a twist for me to be a masochist." As a survivor of abuse, these words' unafraid power is all too apparent and an engaging statement to hear expressed.

Following the release of eclectic and impressive debut singles 'ASOS,' 'Right Time,' and 'Papercut,' rising left-of-center pop singer and songwriter Dava returns with a fresh and bold new single 'New Ceilings' available now via Sony Music's Disruptor Records. The moody anti-pop record was co-written by Dava and Mike Adubato (Del Water Gap, Grace VanderWaal) who also produced the track, and is the latest off the Los Angeles-based musician's forthcoming debut EP, Sticky, due out later this year. On the inspiration behind her new single, Dava shares, "This song was written about survival and staying true to yourself. I was having a hard time financially after moving to LA and my phone was shut off while on my way to this session. I was upset with myself for prioritizing music when I really needed the money from driving Uber to stay afloat." She continues, "The day I wrote 'New Ceilings' I was angry and I wanted a song that felt empowering and validated all the work I had put in up to that point. I ended up choosing different songs for my project but when I revisited this one year later, I felt it needed to be heard because of how authentically it embodies my struggle."

London-based Fifi Rong, a multi-talented avant-pop songstress, has shared the video for her stunning single, ‘Another Me’. Directed by Rok Pat, the video for ‘Another Me’ is stylistically simplistic, as Fifi Rong uses her own body as a medium of art, painting herself and inviting the simple imagery of waterside reeds and plants. A tranquil mysticism embraces the single as Fifi Rong acts as a gentle siren, luring the unsuspecting in yet known the inevitable outcome of the relationship. Speaking of the concept behind the single and video, Fifi Rong tells us: “In any doomed romance, timing is always mysteriously wrong. This is my first full CGI music video and it visually portrays the elusive nature of the character surrounding the key message: 'you won't find another me'. The undertone of the song displays a sense of pride and confidence in the character’s melancholy. Dressed in nothing but petals, I wanted my character to symbolise purity, nature, truthfulness, vulnerability and the divine feminine form. Acting as a rotating statue, I wanted to mark the passing of time and seasons as if a unique and lonely piece of art on display.”

[gottlem]

favourite song (lemonjuice)

a/n: well here it is! gonna keep this short and sweet but i wanted to say how much i love these two and i wrote this just bc i felt like we needed more lemonjuice fics !!! props the the handful of writers who have already written this ship, they’re all so great !! quick sidenote, i haven’t written in a while, so i really hope y’all find this up to standard !!! <3

summary: Juice found that the best way to get her feelings out was through writing songs, but she would never tell her best friend and long time crush, Lemon, about that. Well, until she does. (3.3k words)

Juice was never really the best at outwardly expressing her feelings. Even when she tried to open up to her best friend from childhood, Lemon, it was as if the words got lost somewhere between her mind and her mouth. And as someone with far too many emotions to keep bottled up safely, she needed a way to let them out. So she began to write songs. Over a few years, she taught herself to play a guitar she had found stocked away in her home, which had been surprisingly intact and functional for it’s age.

At first, her songs were mediocre at best. The chords sometimes wouldn’t sound right together and she couldn’t really get the lyrics to flow in the way she wanted them to, but after writing and writing she started to find her sound. And it was good. Once she was truly happy with the content she was creating, she didn’t want to keep it to herself any longer. It’s not like she wanted to become famous, no, the idea of fame scared her shitless. But she wanted somewhere to put her work, she didn’t care if one person or one thousand people listened. So she made a small Instagram account. It didn’t have her name, and she didn’t tell any of her friends, but over time it acquired a small but surprisingly active following.

It was Friday night when Juice started on a new song. It was one she had been meaning to write for a long time, but was about something she was scared to even admit to herself. Feelings she was scared to face. Feelings for Lemon. They had been there for a while, festering under the surface, and only recently had they gotten out of control. Nothing had triggered it, not particularly, but suddenly she had found herself thinking about her friend far too often to be considered platonic. They had been best friends for as long as Juice could remember, and she knew she was far into the friend zone. Lemon would flirt often, make jokes about them becoming girlfriends. Which was fine. It meant she was comfortable enough in their friendship. And as long as Lemon loved her in any way, Juice was happy. Or at least, that's what she told herself.

She was in the middle of writing her very first song about the girl when her strumming was interrupted by her phone ringing. Loudly. She should have remembered to just put it on mute. It’s ringing startled her enough to be taken out of the zone she was in, so she decided the least she could do was check who it was. And she figured the universe had decided to play a massive practical joke on her right at the moment, because the caller ID read “lem”. She answered it anyway, it was Lemon after all, how couldn’t she?

“Lem! Hi!” She cursed herself for how smitten she sounded, Lemon would be quick to figure out her feelings if she wasn’t careful.

“Juicy! What’s up? What are you doing right now?” Juice’s heart stopped. Partly because of the nickname that she still hadn’t gotten used to, and partly because she has no idea how to answer that question without having to explain why she’s kept this hobby secret for so long.

“Umm, well”

She didn’t actually know why she had kept this from Lemon all this time. Maybe telling her would be good, maybe it wouldn’t even change anything. So she bit the bullet and made the split second decision to let the cat out of the bag. She didn’t have to say what, or who, she was writing about, right?

“I was in the middle of writing a song, you actually kind of scared me, my phone was so loud” There was a beat of silence. Juice bit her bottom lip nervously and just hoped she wouldn’t be asked a question that she was absolutely not ready to answer.

“You were- since when did you write songs? Juicy how did I not know about this? Can you even play any instruments? What do you play?”

These questions, Juice could deal with.

“I uh, started a few years ago, didn’t tell anyone because I wanted it to be something I could keep for myself, and I taught myself guitar after I found one in that spooky cupboard you can never go into.”

Lemon chuckled, causing Juice to blush instantly. Because of course she did.

“Wow. Years, huh? Why didn’t you tell me though?” Juice didn’t expect her friend to sound almost hurt by the fact that she had kept this from her. But then again, they tell eachother everything. She didn’t really know why she never told Lemon. Maybe she was scared of opening up too much, sounding dramatic. Maybe she was scared she wouldn’t like her songs. Maybe she was scared she would.

“I don’t know Lem. Just didn’t come up I guess”

“Well, can I hear one? What about the one you’re writing now?”

“Not yet. Maybe next time you come over once it’s finished.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, definitely. Well I’ll let you finish it then, text me when it’s done!”

When Lemon hung up, the silence of the room fell heavy on Juice’s ears. Obviously, she wouldn’t show Lemon the song she was writing just then, but she didn't have to know that. She would show Lemon a song she wrote a month or two ago, she remembered it well enough and it’s not about anything too serious that Lemon doesn’t already know about. No harm done. Easy.

~

Lemon was set on hearing at least one of Juice’s songs. She couldn’t believe that after knowing her for so many years, she had hidden this from her! It’s not that she was angry, she wasn’t, she just wished she hadn’t missed out on all this. She wondered what she could have written about over the years, what she writes about now. She wondered what her voice sounded like, would it be smooth and silky, or breathy and soft? What would her songs even sound like? Does she have her own special sound, distinctive from everyone else? She just wanted to know. She wanted to hear them.

When Juice finally performed a song for Lemon, she was speechless. They sat on Juice’s bed, candles burning on the windowsill and hot chocolates resting on her nightstand. The moon shone from the window, it was quite late, probably too late to make any noise, but nobody was home to hear, so neither girl tried to keep quiet despite the late hour. From the moment Juice started to pluck a soft pattern on the nylon strings of the old guitar, she was mesmerised. The melody was soothing, and her voice was soft enough to send her to sleep if she closed her eyes for too long. It was a beautiful song, about a story Lemon had already heard a thousand times before, but never in this format. That made it feel brand new.

The pair fell asleep soon after that, limbs tangled in Juice’s bed just like all the other times before, except a soft humming could be heard that sent Lemon straight to sleep in her friend's familiar arms. Juice wished it could be like this every night. But her and Lemon were just friends, eventually she’d be okay with that reality. She’d have to be.

It didn’t take long for Lemon to find Juice’s account dedicated to her songs. After she went home that morning she went straight onto Instagram, remembering something Juice had said about an account where she puts all her music onto. At first, she didn’t quite know where to look, but she ended up searching through the followers and following on Juice’s main account and eventually stumbled upon it. She just wanted to hear more.

Lemon checked the most recent video posted, expecting it to be the same song Juice had performed for her the night before, since she had been told it was the one her friend had just written, the one she had interrupted the writing of. It took her a minute to realise the song was definitely not the same, but she didn’t think too much of it, maybe she hadn’t posted that one yet. Hearing one of her songs before anyone else made Lemon’s stomach do a little flip, something she was growing used to around her friend.

As Lemon scrolled through the account, listening to each and every song, she encountered one that sounded extremely familiar, posted months ago. It was the exact same one Juice had performed to her. But if she had only just written it, how had it been posted months ago? She tried not to dwell on it for too long, opting to just enjoy the music instead. Once she had sifted through every video, she followed the account, wanting to hear everything her friend came out with.

Juice’s songs were special. They allowed Lemon to feel more connected to her friend; she always felt as if Juice was biting her tongue, holding back. All she had ever wanted was Juice to open up around her, and if it was through her breathtaking music, then so be it. Some songs were about stuff that Lemon had never heard her friend even mention before, and she was tempted to give her a ring or text and ask her about them, talk more into detail about the contents, but she always stopped herself at the last minute. If Juice wanted to talk about something that was bothering her, she would talk. Maybe she was scared to. 

-

Juice almost screamed when she saw the notification that Lemon had followed her account. She looked over every one of her posts, making sure they were all good enough for Lemon to see. She wanted Lemon to love her music now she knew about it, and hoped she would bring up one of her songs to her. She wondered which song would be Lemon’s favourite, and why. She wanted to know how many she had listened to. Had she just followed the account and left it at that? Had she watched her most recent video? Had she listened to all of her posts?

So Juice waited. She waited for Lemon to bring it up. But even after posting a couple of new songs, she got nothing. She was quick to come to the conclusion that Lemon wasn’t really looking at her new posts, though in reality that couldn’t be further from the truth. When Juice figured Lemon wasn’t listening to her new music, she found the courage to post her song about the girl. It wasn’t very specific, it was clearly about a girl she had some strong feelings for, but there were no identifying details that could lead to the conclusion of the song being undoubtedly about Lemon. This meant if Lemon did happen to hear it, there was no way she would know right off the bat that the song was about her. She didn’t need Lemon to know her true feelings.

When Juice posted her first song about Lemon, the feedback had been overwhelmingly positive. She received a few more likes than usual, and the comments were filled with well wishes for her and the mystery girl she had written a song about. But there was nothing from Lemon, as usual. Juice was confident that she wasn’t listening, so she posted more and more songs about her. It wasn’t like she only ever wrote about Lemon anymore, though she was definitely getting more comfortable doing so and began writing about her more often than not, allowing herself to fall deeper for the girl. As she posted more songs, they became increasingly more specific, but never enough to allow her to be figured out. Someone would only be able to tell it was Lemon if they were actively looking for that specific conclusion.

-

Lemon couldn’t believe it when she heard Juice’s first love song. She watched her best friend’s eyes light up on her screen while singing about this mystery girl, but there was something else to her facial expression that made it all seem bitter sweet. Maybe it was the way her eyes would lose that sparkle for just a moment every once in a while, or the way her lips never really formed into the beautiful smile Lemon had gotten so used to over the years. The song itself was beautiful, as always. Juice sounded as if she meant every single word, truly singing right from her heart.

It hurt Lemon a little to find out Juice felt so strongly about someone and hadn’t told her, but perhaps she was just getting round to it. It hurt her even more that it wasn’t Lemon she was singing about. She knew she had liked Juice for a while, but tried to keep things platonic in fear of her feelings not being reciprocated, and it looked as if that was the right move because now she was listening to Juice sing a love song that wasn’t about her.

Even though she knew she would be hurt by the truth, Lemon was determined to find out who Juice had been singing about in her more recent posts. Each song hurt to listen to more than the last, because she was creating a fantasy where Juice was actually singing about her. It was only made worse that everything Juice said about this girl and their relationship could be used to describe Lemon. She just needed confirmation that it wasn’t her and then she could move on with her life as Juice’s friend. And be content with just that.

Her idea was simple, but effective. Just ask her. Juice was a terrible, terrible liar, made worse when it was Lemon she tried to lie to, so she knew she’d be getting the truth about whoever this girl was. All she had to do was try not to show her feelings, and try not to get jealous of this girl. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?

-

Juice enjoyed whatever time she could spend with Lemon, but nothing could beat when she stayed over. They turned on fairy lights and lit candles before making hot chocolate and turning on netflix, watching from the comfort of Juice’s bed. Maybe she liked it so much because they always ended up tangled together. She just liked the way Lemon’s skin felt against hers, even if it was just some small brushes under the covers. 

They were chatting about nothing in particular when Lemon changed the subject without warning, something she always did.

“Hey Juicy, I’ve loved your songs lately by the way. Not that I don’t always love them. I just thought I’d tell you” 

Juice’s heart stopped. She could practically feel the colour drain from her face. Lemon listened to her songs. Her recent songs. 

“You’ve heard my new ones?” Is all she could get out.

“Duh! I’m your number one fan, juicy”

“Oh.”

“Just one question though, who are all the love songs about?” Juice wouldn’t really describe them as love songs, more like ‘hopelessly crushing on my best friend who I have virtually zero chance with’ songs. But sure, love songs it is.

“Lem. You can’t really write a love song about a stupid crush. Love is a very strong word, I don’t love her. I can’t”

“Honey, you’re in love. You can see it in your eyes when you sing about her. Must be some special girl, huh?” Lemon rubbed salt into her own wound with every word she said. It almost physically hurt to ask about this girl Juice was so clearly smitten for, knowing it wasn’t her.

“Yeah. She’s special. But you don’t get it Lem, I can’t be in love with her. I just can’t”

“Why not?”

Juice just shook her head, defeated. She knew the answer to that. She can’t be in love because she’s her best friend. It would ruin what they have. She would get rejected. Everything would change. 

Lemon wiped a stray tear from her friend's cheek.

“Hey. Look at me,” she did, “whoever this girl is, would be so, so lucky to have you. I promise you, one day you’re going to find someone who loves you with just as much passion as I hear in those beautiful, beautiful songs. You deserve to be loved by someone who loves you that much. Okay? Don’t cry baby”

The pet name slipped out of Lemon’s mouth before she could stop it, but it felt so natural as she took the crying girl in her arms. They sat there for a while, Lemon whispering little reassurances in her ear, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Until Juice pulled away, took a deep breath, and looked Lemon straight in the eye. She was going to tell her.

“I just- Sorry for crying on you”

But she couldn’t. Love is scary. But Lemon is not. It was a painful cycle.

“Don’t be.” Lemon couldn’t stand seeing her Juice so broken, so she figured she’d try to lighten the mood and try to find out who it was so she could finally just get over her. “Sooooooo, who is it?”

“No, I can’t tell you” Juice managed a weak chuckle, shook her head affectionately.

“C’mon, do I at least know her?”

All Lemon got in response was a nod. She was confused, really. She had set herself up to be told a random girls name and have her heart broken. She would take a few weeks to recover, but eventually Juice and this girl would get together and they’d all live happily ever after. She had prepared herself for that. She had not prepared for tears and love and self doubt and secrets. They had never kept anything like this from each other. Ever since coming out to each other, they had vowed to be one another’s wing-woman, so what happened? The only reason Lemon could possibly think of as to why she couldn’t tell her who, was-

“Juicy...” Her tone felt unfamiliar in her mouth. It wasn’t sharp or soft, it wasn’t happy, angry or upset. It might have been hope. Juice just looked up at her, eyebrows furrowed.

“Is it-”

“Whoever you’re going to say, I can almost guarantee that you’re wrong” Juice almost found it funny that she was about to guess.

“Let me finish,” Lemon looked at her in the eyes, and smiled softly “ Is it me?” 

“I-”

What was she even supposed to say to that? She couldn’t lie, Lemon would see right through it. She couldn’t tell the truth, everything would change. What if Lemon felt weird about it? What if she didn’t want to be as close with her any more? Was she uncomfortable with the idea of Juice having a crush on her?

Lemon giggled softly, “I guess the silence answers that question, huh?”

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to anymore. I swear I can just move on and get over it. I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I’d hate to make you uncomfortable or anything. Are you mad? I don’t blame you if-”

“Shut up” Lemon almost whispered, her soft tone still somehow cutting through Juice’s words like a knife. Juice said nothing. She let the silence take over for a second or two, before Lemon took a breath, and spoke again.

“Shut up, and kiss me”

So she did. Juice had always wondered what kissing Lemon would feel like, but now she was actually doing it, all her expectations didn’t even come close to the real thing. They fit together so easily, the kiss hardly ever breaking, staying as soft as ever. They had all the time in the world, so why rush it?

After that night, Juice wrote countless more songs for her now-girlfriend, and every single time a new one came out, Lemon would say the same thing.

“I like this one. I think it’s my new favourite song. I love you”

And Juice loved her back. You could see it in her eyes. Feel it through her kiss. Hear it in her songs.

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - Ch15

Yup, this beast is still going and still growing.  Life sapped my energy so it has been a lot longer between updates than I would have liked but I’ve been experimenting with writing out of sequence to make use of whatever creativity I can grasp.  The plus side of this is that ch16 is in the editing stages and ch17 is also half written.  But anyway....it’s taken a while but here is ch15 in the saga that has become affectionately termed ‘Bad Jeff’.

@willow-salix has been wonderful at helping be fix the plot holes and pick out the parts where I contradicted myself.  I now have a proper timeline though (funky multicoloured spreadsheet and everything) so I shouldn’t tie myself in knots so much with the boys ages and milestones.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen

AO3 chapter link

Chapter Fifteen

The incoming call notification had Virgil scrambling for his phone, fumbling with the handset while trying to swipe a call accept icon that suddenly seemed too small and fiddly to be practical.  It took him three hasty attempts before managing to complete the action correctly, allowing him to finally speak to the brother who had been frustratingly out of contact.  Scott had been in LA for three days and Virgil was now desperate for news but he had promised he wouldn’t interfere lest he call at the wrong moment and inflame matters further.  It had been a nail-biting wait, forcing himself to be patient and trust Scott to call when he could.

“Scott, how is it?”  It took him a moment to register that the face on the screen wasn’t Scott’s despite what the caller ID proclaimed.  “Gordon?”  He was surprised to see a younger brother rather than an older one.

“Don’t sound so pleased to see me.”  There was an air of the old teasing Gordon making a slow return.

“Sorry.   Of course I’m pleased to see you,” and he genuinely was, the face that looked back at him was still too thin and pale for comfort but the hair was clean again and the eyes had lost their haunted glaze, “I just wasn’t expecting it.  Where’s Scott?”

“He’s here too.”  The scene on Virgil’s screen shifted quickly as the handset at the other end was spun round to reveal its rightful owner who gave a little wave.  “He said he was going to call you so I asked if I could go first.”

“Well, how are you?”

“I’m....okay.”  Virgil had made him promise in the past not to lie about how he was feeling, it was one of the reasons he had been pulling away; it didn’t count as lying if you just omitted the truth.  “It’s been a strange few days.”

“I’ll bet.”

“For a start I’ve found out that flyboy over there gets ever so twitchy if anyone else is at the controls of a plane.  You’d best hope you never have to take him as a passenger in that bumble bee of yours if it ever gets off the drawing board.  Or was it more like a turtle, that beast was green wasn’t it?”  The look of fear that crossed Virgil’s face would have been comical if it wasn’t so genuine and Gordon was given the sudden reminder that, as far as Virgil was concerned, he wasn’t meant to know about their father’s vision.  He was quick with his reassurances.  “It’s okay, Dad told me about his rescue plans”

“He still won’t tell Alan though” Scott called out from across the room, “Dad has taken him out to fetch ice cream so we can talk freely for a few minutes.”

“Ice cream?”

“Yeah,  I think he’s just trying to cover some of his own guilt.  He’s still no Dad of the year though.”  Scott's tone was derisive and Virgil could tell that tensions must still be running high.  “He’s going to have to tell him sooner or later, he can’t just spring it on the kid that he is being dragged out of school and shunted across the world when the island move happens.”

“What, you mean like he gave us time to prepare for the move to LA?”  Gordon snorted.  “I don’t know about you guys but me and Alan didn’t exactly get much warning when we left Kansas.”

This surprised the older two who had known all about the plan, the many arguments were etched in their memories.  In this case the problem child had been John.  Scott had been making the transition from university to the Air Force and Virgil had been busy preparing for his studies at Denver but John had been on a path that didn’t align with their father’s business plans.  The fifteen year old, with a coveted place at Harvard nearly in his grasp, had begged to stay so he could finish high school without interruptions; he had worked hard to stay two grades ahead of the curve and an inter-state move could undo it all.  Of course letting John live alone had been out of the question, and Jeff had not been prepared to delay the move, leading to  flares of temper and defiance that none of them had realised the middle child was capable of.  It was only when Grandma stepped in, offering to return from New Mexico to become custodian of the farm and care for John during that final year that their father relented.  With all of the concerns over John and his university dreams it hadn’t occurred to either of them that the youngest two hadn’t been told about the move.  Evidently their father’s policy of ‘need to know’ was long running. 

“Don’t worry Gords, Scott and I will make sure that Alan gets told.  If Dad’s idea happens, and knowing Dad it probably will, Alan won’t just have another move sprung on him.  I promise.”  There was sincere honesty in those deep brown eyes and Gordon gave a subtle nod of thanks.  “So tell me everything that has been happening over the last few days.”

Gordon recounted everything that had happened since Scott’s arrival, prompted by said older brother if he missed anything out.  Virgil winced at the revelations.  Even with the sanitised highlights he could tell that the last few days had been an emotional rollercoaster.  In some cases the revelations were beyond his worst fears and he couldn’t help feeling proud of his little brother who had been living through harder circumstances than any of them had imagined.

“Which brings us to today,” Gordon brought the tale up to the present, “Dad’s decided I need to learn to fly seeing as this island he’s chosen isn’t exactly on the commercial air routes.  Alan’s going to start learning too; Dad wasn’t happy about that idea but Scott reminded him that he started learning at Alan’s age.  You should have seen him up there, Alan is an absolute natural.”  Gordon’s voice glowed with pride at the achievements of his little brother.

“You didn’t do badly yourself” Scott cut in from across the room.

“So why were your knuckles white the whole time?”

“Hey, as you said, I just like being the one in control.  It was no different when Dad was piloting and he’s clocked up more flight hours than the rest of us put together.”

“I can just imagine it” Virgil snorted, “you should’ve seen him supervising John when he was learning to drive.”

Gordon glanced across at Scott who had visibly paled at the memory, before turning his attention back to Virgil. “So yeah, I’ve now got to fit in pilot training and exams around getting back up to strength for WASP selection.”

“And WASP is definitely what you want?  You aren’t just going along with it so you can get away from Dad?  I know you’ll be able to do it, but please don’t enlist unless you’re really sure.”

Gordon wasn’t sure if that was the concerned older brother or the family pacifist speaking; WASP was still military after all and Virgil had made no secrets of his thoughts in that direction.  But equally Virgil knew how stubborn he was and how he would never back down from a challenge and had managed to resolve his difference with Scott over the Air Force so he chalked the questions up to brotherly concern.

“Yeah, I’m sure.  It’s a good life Virg, something I can really make a career out of and the opportunities for officers…”

“Officer?” This definitely surprised the distant sibling.  The widened eyes elicited a slight blush from Gordon.

“Um, yeah, that was Scott’s idea.”  He was still having a little trouble reconciling himself to the notion that he was cut out to lead.  

“Not just my idea” said brother called out from his perch on the bed, “the Marineville lot wanted to transfer you to officer training too.  This time round you’ll just be applying for the officer steam from the beginning.”

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,”  Gordon shot Scott a glare of mock indignation, earning a chuckle from Virgil “it’s a good life.  And yes, this time I’ll be trying out as an officer.  I’ll have to redo the aptitude tests, different benchmarks and all that, but we’ve been looking into it and my scores were already at the right level.  There’s just one additional aptitude test for officers that I never took before.  I’ve tried an online practice test and did ok so I should be alright.  I’m booked in to take it for real in a fortnight.  After that it’s selection at Marineville again and then hopefully I’m in.  It’ll take a few months but by the summer I should have my first posting.  The officer intakes don’t happen as frequently as junior ranks so I’ve got time to train.”

“You seem to have it all mapped out and not a college course in sight.”

“Nope.  Thanks, both of you.  It’s...it’s been a hard few months and I couldn’t see a way out of it all.”

There was a noticeable slump in Gordon’s posture and the light went out of his eyes as the memories of his recent trials flooded back in.  It broke Virgil’s heart to see how on a knife edge his brother still was and he knew he and Scott would need to keep a close eye on their younger sibling for a long while yet.  At least Gordon had a goal to work towards again; they both knew his steely determination and drive to succeed. Once he had set his sights on a challenge nothing would stop him, the Olympics had proved that.

“Any time.  And don’t be a stranger.  If Dad starts getting on your case again or you just need to talk to someone you know where I am.  I’ve been told my couch is pretty comfy too if this new schedule of training and flying lessons allows you any time off.”

“Admit it, you just want me back for my cooking” Gordon smirked.

“Maybe…” Virgil gave his best puppy dog eyes, eliciting a chuckle from both his brothers.

Any further chatter was interrupted by the sound of the apartment door crashing open, announcing the return of Jeff and Alan from the grocery store, followed by Alan’s shouts that if they didn’t get out there quick there would be no chocolate chip left for them.  Both knew better than to treat this as an idle threat so with a hurried goodbye to Virgil they departed to claim their portions.

 xoxoxox

Life soon settled into a new routine.  Jeff still rarely made it back for dinner, they couldn’t expect miracles over night, but he was getting better at being home before Alan went to bed at least.  Gordon suspected that had something to do with the ‘discussion’ Scott had with Jeff the night before he returned to his Air Force base.  The voices that drifted through the firmly shut study door had shown a flare of temper from both sides and Gordon had been grateful Alan was already in bed and so not around to witness the argument.  It was just as well Tracys were good at putting on a front, by the morning of Scott’s departure the tension had been firmly suppressed and Alan had been able to say goodbye to his eldest brother without any hint of bad feeling spoiling the moment. 

Where life before the Olympics had been a mix of school and swimming, so life for Gordon going forwards became a mix of physical training and flight theory with time in the air thrown in at the weekends.   He passed the WASP officer aptitude test easily enough but the next available selection course date wasn’t until after his birthday, leaving him with several months to focus on gaining the appropriate endorsements on his pilot’s licence to allow him to transport himself to and from his father’s intended island base.  

Gordon wasn’t bad at flying but he didn’t possess the raw natural talent of his youngest sibling.  He was competent and thorough with a steady hand but he couldn’t miss the looks of pride Jeff directed towards Alan as yet again the youngest of the family performed a manoeuvre as if he had been at the control yoke since birth.  It didn’t stop at looks either, all too often Gordon found himself on the receiving end of an unfavourable comparison only this time it was against his younger brother as opposed to his older ones and the arena was cockpit rather than classroom performance.  Evidently, for Jeff, old habits were hard to quell.

This time though Gordon wasn’t facing his troubles alone.  Scott would check in with him occasionally until an overseas posting took him out of contact but Virgil was his real lifeline.  Virgil made sure there was never more than a week between calls and often the gaps were smaller if he sensed Gordon slipping back and becoming more distant.  The brother who had taken on the role of counselor seemed to have an uncanny intuition when it came to Gordon’s mood.   

The extended time around his father however was still proving difficult and Gordon found himself eagerly boarding a flight to Denver to catch a much needed break.

As ever, Virgil was there to meet him at the airport.

“Good flight?”

“It was ok.”

“Not tempted to crash the cockpit then?”

Gordon just rolled his eyes and carried on out to the taxi ranks.  To his surprise though Virgil directed the cab to take them to the smaller private airfield out of town rather than the apartment.

“Sorry Gords” he got in response to his querying look.  “You know Dad said you gotta keep up your air time and this was the only runway slot I could get.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the deal.”  One of the conditions of a weekend with Virgil was that he got some time in the sky to make up for the lesson he was missing with his father.  “Are you alright with me taking up your baby?”

“I trust you” Virgil shrugged.  He wasn’t quite as in love with and overprotective of his plane as Scott was of his, but neither was he going to let on to Gordon that he had had a long and in depth discussion with their father about Gordon’s ability and competence before he had agreed to help with Gordon’s pilot education.

Gordon always thought it odd that Virgil had a plane but didn’t bother to run his own car, although the longer he spent in the air the more he could see the appeal.  Scott of course had always loved flight and it was no surprise to anyone that a big proportion of his allowance went on maintaining a craft that screamed billionaire playboy.  Virgil’s choice was more subtle and practical, if operating your own private plane counted as practical; perfect for hopping around the country from his central base in Denver to visit family on his own schedule.  Despite also being in possession of big enough allowance to afford it John had neither car nor plane having declared that flying commercial was much more sensible for his main coast to coast journey and he wasn’t one for pleasure flying; he was much more interested in what lay outside the atmosphere, far beyond the reach of a mere plane.

At the airfield Virgil maneuvered his little hopper out of the hanger he stored her in and then passed control over to Gordon.

“Go on then, show me what you can do” Virgil prompted after giving Gordon a quick rundown of the specific take off speed and other essential details he would need to operate the plane safely.  He settled back in the co-pilot's chair, exuding a calm confidence despite itching to keep his hands on the controls; Gordon might be his brother and Jeff had given assurances that all would be well but Virgil was still uncomfortably aware that he has supervising an unlicensed novice pilot.  

His fears were soon dispelled once Gordon started going through the motions in textbook fashion including performing his own pre-flight checks despite having watched those same checks being performed just a few minutes earlier.  A short burst down the runway and they were up in the air.  It wasn’t graceful and Gordon lacked the finesse that came with experience but Virgil was pleasantly surprised at the amount of  progress Gordon had made in such a short space of time.

The problem with flying though is that unless you are practicing something like aerobatics then just keeping a plane in the air is actually pretty easy, it’s the take off and landing that takes skill.  They weren’t making a journey so there was no real navigation to do beyond avoiding the restricted airspace and corridors used by the commercial flights and the weather was clear so flying by instruments was unnecessary.  All in all it was a thoroughly untaxing lesson, allowing them to relax and enjoy the time together.

“So how’s your project going?” Gordon asked as he banked to avoid flying directly over a village.

“It’s okay.  I’m on track to be done by the summer.”

“What will you do after that?  Move back to LA or stay out here?”

“Neither, hopefully.”  Gordon gave his brother a questioning glance of surprise.  “Got to get space rated for Dad’s project.  Me and John’ll be heading out to Tracy College for that, just waiting for confirmation of a course place.”

“Space rated?”  He had realised John would need to undergo astronaut training in preparation for life on a space station but most of the project specifics were still a mystery to him.

“Yeah.  Someone’s got to be able to play taxi service for John and I might need to take a rotation on call monitoring; he can’t live off planet forever.”

“Sounds like plans are really coming together for it.  Does this mean Scott will need to get space rated at Tracy College too?”

“Scott…”  There was a heavy pause and Gordon took his eye off the sky to regard his brother.  Virgil’s brow had furrowed into a frown and when he spoke again there was a heaviness that told of hidden arguments.  “Scott isn’t joining, he’s sticking to the Air Force.”

This surprised Gordon.  In the few conversations he had had with his father about the project, usually confined to a cockpit where Alan couldn’t overhear, Scott was talked about like Virgil was, as a committed member of the team. His role as first responder and pilot of the envisioned rocket plane had been presented in terms of undisputed fact.  No wonder the topic made Virgil look stormy, he was a peacemaker and if Scott wasn’t fitting in with their father’s vision Gordon could imagine that the arguments had been many and explosive.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.  Oh.”

“So what’s going to happen there?  Surely you can’t manage with just the three of you?”

“I don’t know.  I’d like to think there is a contingency plan but Dad seems so sure Scott’s going to change his mind and do it.  They’re both as stubborn as mules though and neither wants to give up their dream.  It’s a good project, the tech looks amazing and we could really save lives.  I can see Scott’s point though, he’s made a life for himself away from Dad and, well, you know yourself what Dad can be like for giving orders.”

Gordon knew all too well what it felt like to be on the receiving end of those orders, particularly when they were at odds with your own plans.  At least Scott had the advantage of physical distance as a buffer to the disapproval and if push came to shove, if Jeff cut Scott off as punishment, the Air Force pay was enough to live on even if it meant Scott had to change his lifestyle to suit the lower budget.

Gordon made the final approach back towards the airfield, diverting the full attention of both brothers to monitoring the landing.  As with the take off it wasn’t polished and it wasn’t pretty but it was safe and Virgil found himself once again admiring just how far his brother had come in such a short space of time.  He wondered if, given time, Gordon would join the team.  Jeff hadn’t made any mention of Gordon taking on a role in the rescue organisation, even if he was now allowed to know of its existence, but there was no denying that having an extra pilot on books could only be a good thing.  Maybe one day he and Gordon would fly together, the more time he spent with his brother the more he enjoyed the company although, Virgil reflected, if they were to fly as a team he would be happier if Gordon took the co-pilot’s position.

With the plane back on the ground and safely returned to her berth in the hangers Virgil pushed all thoughts of Gordon joining the rescue business out of his mind; unless their father issued the instruction there was no point even considering the option.  And anyway, Gordon was heading off to the military like Scott had so who knew if he would even want to join the project.  Better to just let their father know that the required flying lesson had gone without a hitch then settle back to enjoy the weekend. 

[hellas-himself]

More Than Enough

Remember that self indulgent crack ship holiday fic I was writing about Cassian and Feyre? And how I couldn’t seem to mix the past with the present? 

It’s a fic now. Still in the same AU just like... the year before. Leading up to the cheesy ass nonsense it is now. Originally it was going to be angsty at first but I think we have enough of that in our real life. If you haven’t read the crackship holidays featuring these two dumbasses, start here or on AO3.

Also. I promise all my other fics are not being abandoned. 

I’ve had a playlist to listen to when writing them but it is so incredibly inappropriate if you understand spanish. and i haven’t made it onto spotify yet. But this song reminded me of them and that’s where the title comes from. Which is funny because Alina is who i put beside Toni Mafud as Rhys and Feyre whenever fan casts come up. ANYWAY. 

Let’s follow Feyre as she thirsts after her best friend. 

.

.

.

I blame it on the music.

Cassian lost his shirt about half an hour ago and is doing pull ups. The garage door is open, letting in the cold winter air. My fingers are cold but I don’t like wearing gloves when sketching. I had been working on hands and eyes but once he tossed his shirt… It’s not like I’ve never seen Cassian without a shirt on before. Between him and his brothers, they seem to always find an excuse to not wear one. But the difference is I don’t find myself daydreaming about what it would be like to run my fingers down their backs.

It’s definitely the music.

Even if I didn’t understand the words, the beat itself is way too sensual to not be about anything else but sex. But the lyrics and Cassian’s sweaty, half naked body mixed with the fact that I haven’t had sex in months is probably the worst mix. I am not supposed to be imagining sleeping with my best friend.

I clear my throat, startling Valo who was falling asleep at my feet.

“Sorry, baby, I need a drink.”

I set my sketch book and pencil down on the crate beside my chair.

“Would you get me a drink, bunny?” Cas breathes out and my face flushes all the more. I didn’t need another detail to this stupid daydream.

“Yeah,” I squeak and head into the house. I already know his post workout drink recipe by heart. I drink ice cold water while the blender is going.

Cassian is suspended in the air, holding his entire body parallel to the floor with his hands. Goddamn him. He drops his head back so that he’s looking at me upside down and he smiles.

“I love you,” he says and I roll my eyes.

“I’ll love you more if you don’t bust your ass.”

He chuckles and just to drive the nail in the coffin that is my desire to be the reason he’s making noises like that, he slowly lowers his body and resumes his pull ups. I set his cup on the table where he has his tools and go back to sit down.

Cassian drops down and walks over to his mat to do his cool down stretches. A new song comes on and the words are so filthy that I find myself staring at him. His tattoos. My ex-boyfriend had always believed I was into Cassian- and I wasn’t. But I wasn’t blind and I’ve been at his house almost every single day since Thanksgiving- he is always without a shirt.

It’s just the music.

“Plan on drawing me?” Cassian asks and I blink. I look away from his tattooed chest and to his face. He is smirking. Shit.

“Uh. Yeah. What better way to do anatomy studies than with a living reference?”

“Anatomy, huh?”

He flashes me a grin before he walks over to the table for his drink.

“Hey, what do you want for dinner?”

His question distracts me from looking at his ass.

“Uh, whatever you want… I’m not really craving anything.” Except you. I sigh and cover my face with my hands and lean over. I need a cold shower.

“Hey… You alright?” he asks softly.

I nod and slowly sit upright.

“I’m just… I’m fine. I promise.”

He doesn’t believe me but he walks over to grab his speaker.

“I love this song,” he says and starts to sing along to it as he gratefully goes back into the house.  

Cassian meets me in the living room now dressed in a white tee and grey sweatpants. He lifts both my legs up so that he can sit down. This is normal. I always use his lap to rest my legs.

“I ordered Greek, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I told you, I’m not craving anything except-”

Fuck my entire life. Cassian raises a brow and I toss him the remote.

“Why don’t we finish your show so then we can watch my movie?”

This pacifies him and thankfully, his stupid show is so violent and bloody that all thoughts of fucking my best friend fade from my mind.

*

Our annual Christmas party is tonight and I’ve found an outfit. It is the kind of outfit Tamlin would have told me not to wear. It’s blood red and insanely inappropriate for winter with its spaghetti straps and super low neckline. Mor says it’s the perfect thing to wear after a break up and just the thought of all the pictures we’ll take with me and Cassian together makes me believe it.

I hang the dress up in the closet of Cassian’s bedroom. The heels are set beside his dress shoes and I can’t help but think about his reaction. Of dancing with him all night and coming back here and-

“Bunny!” 

“I’m in the closet!”

I hear him chuckle. 

“Shut up,” I call out and walk into the bedroom to find him pulling off his shirt. I feel my face go hot.

“I’m going to shower… do you want me to use the other bathroom?” 

“What? No, this is your house,” I say far more casually than I feel. “Besides, we’ve got time, we can share.” 

I want to punch myself in the face. Cassian starts to grin. 

“The shower might be a little too small for the both of us but I’m sure we could find a way to-”

Cassian laughs when I smack his arm. 

“Not exactly where I like being spanked but I’ll take it.”

“Oh my god, Cassian.”

He laughs and disappears into the bathroom. I force myself to leave the room when I hear the water.  

*

Cassian walks into the kitchen in nothing but a towel, his hair wet, water dripping down his chest. He walks over and takes the sandwich from my hands.

“Fuck, we’re out of beer,” he mutters as he opens the fridge. I grab the second sandwich I made, expecting him to steal from my plate and force my gaze up. On his stupidly gorgeous face.

“I can go get some,” I say but he shakes his head and walks over to take my cup of iced tea.

“Are you cool with us taking a cab tonight?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess.” 

Cassian drinks from my cup and sets it down before pinching my cheek. 

“It’ll just be you and me,” he says softly. “So don’t worry about it.”

I blush at this and Cassian kisses my forehead. 

“I’m gonna go get dressed. Thanks for the snack,” he says with a wink and walks away.

*

I keep my makeup rather muted; lip gloss and the usual winged liner. Nude eyeshadow. Cassian picked out the highlight and I have to admit, he chose well. My hair isn’t going to get any better, so I leave it in loose waves rather than the curls I’d wanted. I’ll leave that to Mor. I feel nervous, this is the first time since the breakup that I’m going out with all of our friends but Cassian will be there, and that’s enough to ease my nerves. Almost.  

“Our ride is here,” Cas says as he walks into his bedroom. He stops and just stares. I approach him and hold out my ID card and debit card, needing to ignore the way his attention has me feeling.

“I don’t have pockets.”

“What?” He blinks and looks down at my hand. He laughs and pulls his wallet out. “You only need your ID.”

“Maybe so,” I say and reach out to smooth down the collar of his shirt while he puts my cards away. I remember my lip gloss and put it in his back pocket, giving him a wink.

Cassian holds my hand when we go outside, helping me down the steps and the driveway. It’s a regular occurrence, but I blush when he opens the door for me. And when he slides an arm around my shoulders when he sits down beside me. We take a bunch of pictures and call Cassian’s parents to check on Val- as if we hadn’t seen him an hour ago. 

When we get to the club, Cassian holds my hand as we walk inside. Cassian and the boys are all friends with the owner, so we get to skip the line.

“Where are we going?” I ask as Cassian leads us up to the VIP lounge.

“Meeting up with Rhys.”

“What’s he doing up here?”

Cassian chuckles. “You know Rhys never passes a chance to be extra as fuck.”

I can’t argue with that.

Upstairs, Cassian helps me out of my coat. His fingers brush my skin and my mind takes a swan dive into the gutter.

“What do you say to a few drinks before we go downstairs?” he asks as he takes my hand. The bouncer outside the lounge acknowledges us with a nod.

“Yeah, I could use it.”

Cassian flashes me a grin and then opens the door.

“SURPRISE!” Everyone shouts and I find all of our friends standing under a Happy Birthday banner.

I am at a loss for words and Cassian laughs, bringing me further into the room. I’d completely forgotten about my birthday, I hadn’t cared enough to even think that anyone else would. But Elain is here with Az. So is Rhys and Lucien, Amren, Varian. Viv and Kallias, too. I’m separated from Cassian as I’m hugged and kissed by everyone. I realize Tarquin and Cresseida are here as well. Rhys is the one who breaks open the first bottle and we all stand around the little table to take shots.

“There is a cake,” Elain says as she hands me another shot. “But that’s later.”

“Later?”

She winks at me and shouts for Azriel.

“That’s my favorite song!” she exclaims and her husband happily ditches his brothers to go out and dance with his wife.

Lucien and Rhys pull me in for another hug as the others begin to trail down to the dance floor.

“You look good enough to eat,” Lucien mumbles and I laugh.

“Don’t tell me you’re already drunk, Luce.”

“We may have pregamed at the house,” Rhys admits. “But we took an uber! It’s okay.”

I roll my eyes.

“You both suck. I’m going to go find me two other cute boys to dance with. Boys who would have invited me to pregame with them and no amount of flirting is going to fix that.”

They begin to whine and I laugh, holding onto Rhysand’s forearms as they keep me caged between them.

“Alright! You win!” I say with a laugh and look over to find Cassian looking my way. He smiles.

I want to ask him to dance but Mor pulls him away before I can open my mouth.

We drink and dance and drink and dance and drink some more. I feel light headed and everything makes me laugh. But I haven’t danced with Cassian yet and that’s enough to dampen the mood. I push my way through the crowd until I find Cassian at the bar. I take the empty barstool beside him and sit down. I order myself a margarita before turning to face him.

“And where have you been all night?” I ask and Cassian smirks.

“Enjoying the night,” he says and takes a sip of his drink.

“Without me?”

I don’t understand the look in his eyes as he takes a sip of his drink. He sets the glass down and leans forward. I didn’t really understand just how short this dress was until he lays his hand on my thigh. If I turn my chair completely, if he moves his hand just an inch more…

“Yes,” he says and kisses me cheek. “But I think I’m about to enjoy it more now.”

“Why?” I manage to say. Cassian’s hand brushes my thigh as he sits upright.

“I’m about to go dance with my best friend.”

“Are you now?”

My drink is set before me and I grab it, chugging it down as Cassian slides off his chair. He turns mine so that I’m facing him completely and puts his hands on my hips.

“If she says yes, of course.”

I finish the last of my drink and set down the glass.

“When have I ever said no to you?”

Cassian grins.

I have danced with Cassian many times. At parties, at the beach, at clubs and bars and festivals. At his parents’ house. I should be used to the feeling of his body against mine, of his hands on me while we dance but not like this. I want nothing more than to take him back up to the lounge and push him down on the sofa or go find an empty bathroom stall.

But I don’t.

Birthday cake and alcohol isn’t the best mix, but I haven’t felt this alive in months. My face hurts from laughing, from smiling. My vision is spotty from all the pictures we’ve taken but I don’t care. Everything is right in the world.

“My feet hurt,” I complain and sit on Cassian’s lap.

“Want me to rub your feet?”

I shake my head and lean into him.

“No. Not until I’m showered.”

He laughs. “Okay.”

I sigh when he wraps his arms around me. He is so warm and smells so good, I want to stay this way forever.

“I think the birthday girl is done for the night,” Rhys says teasingly and I realize I was dozing off. I look up to see Rhys standing there with a stupid smirk on his face.

“Fuck you,” I say and curl up in Cassian’s arms. I feel his hand holding my dress down from showing everyone else my ass.

“Tempting,” Rhys says and then shoves his hands in his pockets. “But I think I’ll pass.”

I don’t think much of the look Rhys gives Cassian in favor of playing with his hair. I take way too much satisfaction in the knowledge that not everyone gets to do this, and that he enjoys it. Cassian seems to win whatever silent staring contest he and Rhys were having and Rhys rolls his eyes and goes after his boyfriend.

“You’re making me sleepy, bunny.”

“Good thing we’re going home together then,” I say before my mind catches up. But Cassian only chuckles and hugs me a little closer.

*

Cassian and I are a laughing mess as we stumble into the house. I lean on him to step out of my heels and he laughs as I shrug off my coat and toss it at him. We’re both trying to catch our breath, and I swat his hand away when he tries to tickle me again.

“I’m taking a shower,” I breathe out and walk off but he stops me.

“Wait,” he says and I turn to find him smiling.

“What?”

“Happy birthday,” he says softly and pulls me in for a hug. “I promise I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”

“Hm… you really know the way to a girl’s heart, Cas.”

He pinches my side and I yelp.

“Go shower,” he says and kisses the top of my head.

“I won’t be long.”

My shower is clumsy and not at all relaxing. My feet hurt. So I put lotion on my body and grab the bottle of perfume that is on the dresser, except it’s not perfume but cologne. I shrug and put on Cassian’s Nirvana tee shirt and double check I actually have underwear on before I go looking for him.

“Cas?” The house is dark save for the light coming from his room. “My feet fucking hurt.”

He says something but I don’t understand it. His room is open and I step inside, finding him lying on his bed. He’s got basketball shorts on and his hair is loose.

“Bunny!” he says as if he hadn’t seen me all day. “I almost busted my ass in the shower.”

“Me, too.” I say with a laugh. “Maybe we should’ve showered together. It would’ve been safer that way.”

“I like the way you think, Archeron.”

He holds his hand out to me and when I’m close enough, he pulls me into bed with him. “You smell good.”

I snort. “I smell like you.”

“Exactly.”

I swat his arm but he ignores it, putting his arms around me.

“My feet hurt,” I complain, hoping he’ll make good on his promise.

“Just stay here,” he says simply.

My heart stops and starts too fast.

“Like… sleep here?” I ask too quietly.

“Mhm.” He goes quiet for a moment and then groans. “I forgot to turn the light off.”

“I can do it,” I say.

“No… Stay here.”

He goes quiet once more, and I let myself relax. We haven’t shared a bed since we were kids, playing video games until Adela would force us to go to bed. I smile at the thought and rest my head against his chest.

“Goodnight, Cas,” I say quietly, my eyes getting heavy.

“Goodnight, bunny,” he says and lets me go to stretch. Then he wraps his arms around me again and moves us so that we’re on our sides. He presses a kiss to my forehead and I close my eyes, letting the warmth of him lull me to sleep.

.

.

.

@mythicaitt @bookloveaffair @nalgenewhore @candid-confetti 

[bambikisss]

Cafe Rewind

Hey everyone! Here is the first chapter of the series! I’m so excited to keep writing this and post it. This took me a bit, but i’m proud of it. Enjoy!

~<3

Chapter 1

I don’t even know why colleges feel like they need to take so much money from their students, but they do. But not only that, they don’t even do that well.  

Hence why I'm applying to jobs right now to pay rent.

You see, I used to live on campus, like every freshman does, when my roommates started bringing over their boyfriends. After a while, I got super uncomfortable with how many times they had sex in the room, along with every time I’d walk in on them. I decided that I would live off campus to make sure that I would never have to go through that experience again.  I used all my money to look for the perfect place and design it. But now that school is starting again and I got my supply list, I realized something:

I’m really broke.

“Why are there so many jobs offered on campus?” I asked myself, scrolling through the open jobs before sighing aggressively.  To be able to work on campus, you must LIVE on campus, which no longer applies to me. Deciding that I've spent enough time on this, I got up and stretched, closing my laptop, grabbing my phone and a hoodie before walking out the door. I need to walk to think straight so that I don’t throw my laptop across my living room. Another reason I chose my apartment was because it was close to a café named “Cafe Rewind”.  I used to love coming to that café after classes and getting a nice latte, but I stopped when I moved and decided to rely on Starbucks.  

Big Mistake. I got sick from that place and their prices drained my bank account dry.  

Before I opened the door, I noticed a sign by the window the words “Help wanted.” Like a truck, it hit me hard: I could just work here.  

I walked inside, smiling immediately at the familiar atmosphere before walking to the counter to order a drink and maybe bring up the sign outside. The minute I reached the counter, I noticed to guys yelling and pointing to the faucet. “How could you break this, Yugeom?!” The older man yelled at who I assumed to be Yugeom, even though he was much taller than him, so he had to look up. “I didn’t, Hyung! That was totally you! I was making myself an iced coffee!” Yugeom said back before sighing and fiddling with the faucet some more. I’ve never seen them before. They must be new.  

“Excuse me, miss” I snapped out of staring at the two men before turning around to face another man, who looked about my age. He had a piercing under his eyebrow, black fluffy looking hair, and a slight stubble on his face. “We aren’t open yet. How did you get in?” He asked, tilting his head slightly to see over my head and look at the two men who were still yelling about the faucet. “Oh, sorry. The door was unlocked so I just thought I’d walk in.’’ I sound like a creep. He smiled at me, showing a bit of his teeth before motioning for me to follow him to the counter. He had a messenger type bag with him, that he put on the counter. “I, um, also saw the sign outside” I whispered. I was trying to figure out a way to bring it up to him. He looked so scary. “The help wanted sign?” he responded, tapping stuff on the tablet.  

Huh, guess he herd me.  

I nodded, feeling my cheeks heat up from embarrassment. He looked up at me before looking over my body slightly. It made me feel like I should have worn something else due to how his gaze looked. Once his eyes met mine, he smiled softly, his gaze also softened. “Ok, follow me to the back” he opened the door beside the counter before walking in, holding it open for me to follow him. I followed him, even though I felt like I was being kidnapped. The room was their break room, apparently, which had a couch, vending machine, along with a table that also looked broken, but glued back together. The only thing that was on it was a plastic bottle with a random flower in it (which also looked fake).  

He sat down on the couch and patted a spot next to him, which is where I sat. There was a moment of silence before I noticed his name tag. “Jaebum?” I asked, looking up at him. He looked shocked for a second before realizing where I looked. “Yeah, but it’s spelled wrong. Its j-a-e-b-e-o-m" I nodded before holding my hand out for him to shake. “I’m Y/N” he smiled before shaking my hand. “That’s a pretty name” his voice seemed deeper than earlier, which made me shiver a bit. ‘’So, have you worked in a café before?’’ he asked me, making me remember the fact that this was probably an interview. “Yeah. I worked at my mom’s café called ‘Blue Rose’. I worked there for 4 years” Jae seemed very interested in what I was saying and didn’t stop me when I stopped talking. I was about to add more information when I heard an alarm on his phone go off. “Shit, morning rush. There’s an apron on the coat rack. Go wash your hands and help me while stupid one and stupid two play around with the faucet that I’m pretty sure Jackson broke. He even broke the table by trying to sit on it” He rushed before running out the door.  

Well, that went well.  

I grabbed the apron and rushed out the door like Jae did, sliding behind the order station. When I looked down at it, however, I noticed it needed a password.

Of course, it does.

Before I could say anything, Jae must have noticed my confused face because he yelled “it’s Noralove33.” I quietly giggled while typing it in. Whoever Nora is, she’s so lucky. The minute I finished typing it in, a group of people came in; about 9 of them came in...and ordered...

All at once.  

“I’m sorry, I can’t understand any of you. Do it one at a time” I sounded like a preschool teacher, but whatever. Once I got their orders, I handed it to Jae, who took it and began making drinks as quickly as possible. As quickly as I ordered, he finished and placed it on a tray and called the group’s table number. “That was so fast, Jaebeom” he smiled at my compliment before rubbing the back of his neck. “Thanks, I do this a lot.’’ I was about to say something when Yugeom, one of the faucet guys, walked over to us. “Mark hyung said he’ll fix the faucet when he comes in... who's the noona” he pointed to me while whispering to Jae. He chuckled and flicked Yugeom’s ear. “This is Y/N. She is going to be working with us from now on.” Yugeom bowed before rubbing his ear. He seemed so much younger than Jaebeom did. “You don’t have to call me noona. I’m 20. I’m in college right now” I smiled at him. His eyes grew bigger as he smiled. “We are too! What’s your major, Y/N? Favorite teacher? Dorm room number?” he was asking questions so quickly that I couldn’t keep up. “Yah, you’re scaring her, and morning rush isn’t even over yet.’’ They both seemed so nice and calm. While we were talking, Jackson came over and, much to his disliking, was trying to explain the table incident to me. I worked the rest of the morning before Jaebeom tapped my shoulder as a man with black hair, a blue shirt, and jeans walked in. “That’s boss Jinyoung. Be nice.’’  

Boss Jinyoung?

“Hello Jaebeom. You said there was a newbie?’’ His voice seemed deep, almost like a grandpa or dad's voice. Jae patted my shoulder softly. “I trust her. She seems fast enough.” Boss Jinyoung nodded before handing me a packet and looked back at Jae. “Tell Jackson to stop breaking things.’’ Then, he walked out. I looked down at the packet, noticing the contract. “Hurry up and sign it, Y/N. I have to go to class in a few minutes and I can’t let you keep that.” he chuckled while taking his apron off. I looked up at the time and gasped. “You too?” I nodded as he helped me take mine off. “I’ll take you. Consider it a thank you for wanting to work here and helping me with morning rush.” I looked back down at the packet and grabbed a pen off the counter. My eyes were drawn to the bold words above the signature line:

Dating is not allowed.  

I gulped before signing. I hope everyone else here isn’t extremely attractive (besides Jaebeom, Yugyeom, and Jackson). I handed the packet back to Jae before we began walking out the door. I noticed the ‘Help Wanted’ sign was taken down. “You work here now, Y/N. We don’t need anyone else” he told me before opening the door for me. I walked outside and noticed the weather was better and warmer than this morning. “Well, what are you waiting for?” Jae asked me, walking to his sleek black car. “Get in. I promise I drive better than I sing” I laughed before getting into his car. The inside was very sleek and clean. I noticed some R&B albums on the backseat as he got in. “You listen to R&B? I LOVE that genre.” I smiled before grabbing a CD. Jae had already started the car and began driving when I opened it. “You can put it in if you like.” I put it into the CD player before closing my eyes and listing to the singer and the beat. “I’ve never heard this artist before, but I love it. Who are they?” the CD cover didn’t have a name on it. All it said was ‘Volume 3.’ “That’s me” Jae said, smirking at my shocked reaction. “You said you drive better than you sing! There’s no way this is you!” he nodded before turning the volume down a bit so he could only hear the beat and not his voice. He began singing, and his voice sounded just like the guy’s did on the song.  

“Ok, so maybe this is you. What’s the song called?” He smiled before turning into the school’s parking lot. “Ring. I made it a week ago. Anyway, do you want me to drop you off near your class building?” He asked me while showing the security guard his school ID. I thought for a brief second about is offer. I wouldn’t have to walk and from here it’s far... “Please do” I cringed at my request as he laughed. “Please do? Are you royalty or something?” I rolled my eyes before telling him the building number. I felt kind of sad when he pulled up to my building, but then he pulled into a parking space and parked the car. “Your building is near mine. Do you want to get lunch with me after class?” I could feel my cheeks heat up a bit before nodding. He made me feel like I was in 5th grade, crushing on a boy.  

Stop thinking like that...you can’t even date him...he has Nora.  

“Sure, but won’t Nora mind?” I asked, getting out of the car. He let out a big laugh as he locked the door. “Nora? My cat? Why would she mind?” I could feel the embarrassment hit my face as he said that.

His cat...ugh, I'm jealous over a cat. That’s a new low, Y/N L/N.

I started walking to my building while Jae called from behind me. “Where are you going, Y/N? Want to talk more about Nora?’’

“Meet me out here after class! Bye!”

[lesbianbernardsumner]

Hey! Its thing >:)!

Its the thing i was teasing at in that post last night, and technically for like... four months? five? huh its been a bit since i second changed my url huh. Im not gonna go check or anything. If I were a bit more patient i wouldve waited for the archive collection become canon but im not. funfacterdroid is just more of my bran! Anyway! This post is my first impressions and opinions on each song on Back to the Egg! The Wings album i temporarily renamed myself after. (told ya i was gonna ramble wasnt i ydbfyufjd). It also happens to be the only wings album i havent listened to yet. And sure theres a bunch of singles and b-sides i havent listened to either, but this is the last one! I figured it should get some of its own treatment! I know that its gonna sound different to London Town and the two before it, cause McCulloch and English arent here. I’ve also heard that this album is bad and people called Paul a sellout because he transitioned to New Wave. New Wave is my favorite genre and I guess Wings werent ever that far from it? But they’re still a rock band at heart so i dont know how that change is going to fare. Enough introduction: Lets just go track by track! -Side One: Sunny Side Up-

Reception: Its just some radio garble, an instrumental meant to introduce the album. dont really have any opinions on it. Getting Closer: JAHBUDHSAUHJDHS WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! I didnt expect such a threatening title to be so upbeat. Like... opposite of Beware My Love. I do think its odd that there is barely any backup singing? Its not horrible just weird that this song, out of all the openers, doesnt. That outro is very much meant to be like a darker part of the song, like the dream sequence from A Day In The Life, but god dammit this song is just so upbeat! so weirdly cheerful and gentle! And... only 3 minutes? Rockshow and Jet were 4... eh those albums had a lot less songs, this one has 13 not counting Reception! Same as London Town, which i also really like! We’re Open Tonight: Oooohhh!! Very soft, I think I know what its about but when taken literally, to me it sounds like a quaint little shop trying to lure you in, sinisterly. I think the bass is making it sound evil to me, but thats a great thing! Clearly its trying to be like another I’m Carrying but that song fucking sucks!!!!!! I also really like how its only 1 minute, something so haunting about it. Not sure if thats positive or negative but the songs cool! Spin It On: hHEHEYEHY!! Getting Closer.... 2! kinda. Its much much faster and i can barely understand the words hes saying... or what hes spinning. The backing vocals are really cool though. the lyrics mention a pinball table? Y.. you know pinball doesn't spin right? it falls.... Questionable lyrics aside, theres really not a lot of SPEEDY Wings songs! Glad that one of the few is also extremely good!

Again and Again and Again: WOW OKAY! this is sung by denny, all of these songs start pretty fast unlike a good chunk of their past work, but i really like that! But it also means i cannot process a single thing denny is saying, i think he said something about a school? and being in a bad situation? ah whatever. Denny used to be in an R&B band and i really think thats going to work here! This isnt an exactly a Rhythm-y or Bluesey song, but He’s clearly having fun! thats why i love wings in general, its easy to tell that the band was having fun recording a song! Old Siam, Sir: A-hmm. Paul’s doing his squeaky voice again... I guess that can work sometimes but its absolutely not complimenting the piano in the background. Also, I feel like a squeaky voice wouldnt work the best for a story song. A story thats pretty incomprehensible too? Who is this lady! What the fuck is this village!! This is the song you wanted to make 4 minutes? and it fades out too... how much did they record... Arrow Through Me: So this is the one that the critics liked? Its the most synth heavy which i understand why people like, I like synths too! I like how the bass (which i think is also from a synth?) lines up perfectly with the horns! Its alright, it might grow on me later, but now its just a passable song. One i wouldnt skip. Plus I really like the reverb effects, the whole album has em but this one really makes use!! Kinda bad overall though.

-Side Two: Over Easy- Rockestra Theme: Just an instrumental. But one thats really important to music history! I don’t actually know the full story to this one, but I do know that i really like it! Plus the vocal effects on Paul’s... Scatting i guess you could call it? Whatever it is, it works! To You: This sounds... eerily like Getting Closer. But bad... Eh I like that organ. Not much to say really... theres only like one verse. After the Ball / Million Miles: Oh cool another medley. Last one we got was two albums ago! I guess since this is technically two songs id have to... review them both? After the Ball is exactly what it sounds like. A gentle rock song about seeing your love after a party :)! Pretty standard for wings. Million Miles! Sounds a lot like After the Ball but with an accordian? Fuck I’m not complaining. But also who the fuck is Deo. Winter Rose / Love Awake: Uh- Something is,,, wrong with Paul’s voice. like he damaged it? I mean its not horrible it just kinda takes me out of the emersion? Oh we’re already on Love Awake! his voice is fine now..! Man this song is mediocre! No wonder the 70s are regarded as lame./lh Weird that Linda isn’t singing backup here? Or if she is that Denny’s voice is just drowning her out. Winter Rose itself is kinda lame but its... sweeter I guess?  The Broadcast: SINISTER!!!!!!! I do not know who is talking but this sounds... dystopian. I don’t even know what the poem is about its just... the whole song is slightly off. But i mean that in a good way! So Glad to See You Here: MAN! They were trying so hard to be punk... Okay as a punk song this sounds horrible! But as a song in general i like it! It’s not mixed the best but i really like the lyrics! And I-HOLY SHIT WE’RE OPEN TONIGHT PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didnt expect that,,, thats.... genuinely cool! Baby’s Request: Oh the finale! H..huh... Jazzy! And its about going to sleep.. i think? Regardless, Paul’s good at writing songs to fall asleep to, this isnt an exception at all!! Although it is weird that at the end the same horn plays as the one in Thrillington’s Monkberry Moon Delight... Its probably just a coincidence, i thought it was funny though. ---- Okay! Overall, I liked Sunny Side-Up more as a whole since i like 4/6 of its songs, but MAN So Glad to See You Here and Baby’s Request are REALLLY GOOD-But then again. I only listened to all of these songs once, and i wont listen to them again until ive finished writing this post, just to keep my first impressions fresh. I don’t really know what else to say that album was fun as hell! So I’d give Back To The Egg a... 7.8/10! I really didnt expect to like it this much. even though New Wave is my favorite music genre, i didnt think paul would be able to do it justice! Especially since the genre was just starting itself up... heh.... hope it gets archived soon.

[maple-writes]

[Image ID: Banner image reading: The City of Eventide, Chapter 26, Maple-writes. End ID]

New chapter! I think I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things (hopefully) with actually writing chapters. We’ll see! 

###

I left for Eventide College right after breakfast the next morning. By the time I got on the bus I had missed the rush and I took one of a handful of free window seats. I leaned back and stared out at the cars passing by on the road outside, trying to figure out what exactly I was going to say to Ginger. Maybe I should have called ahead. Oh well.

           The college was quiet, thankfully, as I slipped across the stone floors down through Ginger’s little hallway. This time though, I kept my hands tucked deep in the pockets of my hoodie, away from the walls and their steadfast secrets. Halfway down the stairs though, I wasn’t alone, and Cynthia’s concerned presence brushing against my cheek as I hurried along. The skin crawled wherever she crept up alongside me, teeming with curiosity and concern.

           Oh dear. The words seemed to bypass my ears, straight to my head. It felt like a cold towel draped over my shoulders and I swallowed, some of my tension seeping out through the barely there touch. She lingered, cold on my back and pressed up against my side as if guiding me along down the ever spiraling stairs, never once attempting to push though the barrier of my skin to settle within my body. I wasn’t sure what would happen now if she did. I didn’t think I would have been able to stop her.

           I kept my head down as she took me down the hallway, nerves bunching tighter and tighter with each echoing footstep. My mouth went dry, and it didn’t seem to matter how deeply I tried to breathe. This wasn’t going to be easy, and now all I wanted was to go back home, curl up in bed and pretend I had nothing to talk about.

           The door to her office was unlocked, but Ginger wasn’t there. My heart sunk, but Cynthia’s cold shadow of a hand shoved me through the silent doorway anyway. Her presence vanished, and a moment later a movement on the desk caught my eye. I leaned over the surface, and squinted at the word crudely scratched into the top of a stack of post it notes. WAIT.

           My shoulders fell and I let out a sigh, grateful that it looked like she was going to do the work of fetching someone, or something. I’d have to thank her later, if I ever got the chance.

           A clock somewhere in the office ticked, on and on with every passing second. How long would it take? I swallowed, throat starting to tighten in the weight of the minutes coming and going. What if this was a bad idea? What if they decided I was too dangerous, too much of a threat to be even allowed to leave? I paced back and forth along the front edge of Ginger’s desk, eyes fixed on the ground just in front of my shoes. Whatever happened, it was too late now to change my mind.

           Finally, the sound of sneakers hurrying down the hallway came seconds before Ginger stood in the doorway. For a heartbeat, she didn’t move, eyes locked on mine and shoulders tense. Then she let her posture soften.

           “So,” Ginger stepped inside, closing the door behind her with a gentle click. “Cynthia came and found me. What’s going on?”

           Where should I start? I leaned back against her desk, bracing myself against the wood with the heels of my palms. My legs trembled just a little bit, just enough to play to the skipping of my pulse but maybe, maybe not enough for Ginger to notice.

           I took a deep breath and dropped my eyes to the dusty floor. “Things aren’t going very well.” My throat cinched with the memories from the other night and I dropped my voice to a whisper. “I… I tried to kill Cirrus and my sister.”

           Silence rested heavy on my shoulder, greater with ever second that Ginger stayed quiet. The ticking of the wall clock grew louder, more jarring. I swallowed. Why did I come here? I should have just stayed at home.

           But when Ginger did reply, she kept her voice even. “I see.” She smiled and nodded to the chair in front of her desk. “Do you want to take a seat?”

           Did I really have a choice? I sunk into the chair, watching out of the corner of my eye as Ginger took her spot on the other side of the desk. She folded her arms on top of it’s surface, seeming to think to herself about something. I worked my hands into my pockets and kept my head down.

           “So, Asher, walk me through what happened.”

           I took a deep breath to try and clear my thoughts. “It was a couple nights ago now. I got home with Cirrus after talking with you, and found out that Ember hurt Striker by accident so I went to go talk to her.” I paused, wringing my hands hidden in my pocket. “I can’t remember what she said, but I… I held her down.” My voice faltered. “I held her down, and I tried to rip her soul out and if Cirrus hadn’t stopped me I don’t know, I might have…” I might have destroyed it. “After that, I think I tried to do the same thing to Cirrus.”

           Ginger nodded along, eyes flicking between me and the notes she scratched on her notepad.

           “Also,” I continued before I changed my mind. “There’s more.”

           I launched into a near breathless explanation of everything I could think to mention. From waking up in strange places, shortening temper, unpredictable reactions, everything to the fear that I didn’t know what would happen next.

           When I finally finished, Ginger didn’t say a word. The pop-pom on the end of her pen danced as she scrawled on her page, still only a moment as she flipped the page.  The quiet weighed heavy on my shoulders and pressed firm against every inhale. Part of me wondered what it was she was writing down but at the same time, I didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to know how bad it might be.

           “I know what happened to Wendy.”

           Ginger’s hand froze and she snapped her head up. For the shortest of seconds she stared with widened eyes before regaining her composure.

           “How?” She asked. “And how long have you known?”

           I shrugged. “A while ago. Cynthia told me, showed me what happened and led me to your files.” Guilt pooled like molten steel deep in my gut. “Sorry.”

           “No,” Ginger shook her head and leaned all the way back in her chair. “We, no, I shouldn’t have kept that from you in the first  place. I should have told you, but I didn’t want to scare you either.” She dropped her gaze down to something I couldn’t pick out, probably the ground, maybe nothing at all.

           I could still almost feel it, what Cynthia shared with me that day. The fear, the confusion, the pain as Wendy shredded her body like a blade through paper… I had claws too.

           “Are,” I swallowed, hiding my face as much as I could as my voice dropped to a whimper. “Are you going to have to kill me too?”

           “Do you think its likely to come to that?”

           I didn’t want to answer, as if saying it out loud would seal my fate. It didn’t really matter what I said though, did it? She probably already knew the answer if I was here telling her all this in the first place.

           “I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt anyone but,” tears welled hot behind my eyes, short lived before I swiped them away with the back of my sleeve. “I don’t want to die.”

           Ginger nodded, more to herself than to me. She turned her head to the far wall, slouching and propping her cheek on the heel of her palm. “I know Asher, and I wish we didn’t have to have this conversation at all. I hoped things would be different this time around.” She worked her fingers around a curl of hair that strayed from her ponytail. “I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you something else.”

           My gut twisted with dread.

           “After you came and talked to me the other day, I did some research, and I have a few questions.” Ginger sat up straight again, reaching for her pen. “Remember back to the first exorcism I had you do?” She paused as I nodded. “You caught the malicious spirit with your hands and brought it to your mouth. It looked to me that you meant to bite it in order to destroy it, but what were you intending to do after that?”

           That was when Janice’s father had come for me, right? It felt so long ago. “I think,” I paused a moment, trying to remember. “I was going to swallow him.”

           “Why?”

           I blinked. Why? It’s just what I’d always done, what always seemed to work for me whenever I was faced with a demon. “It gets rid of them. If I didn’t swallow a demon and just let it dissipate on its own it might come back.” I swallowed. “At least, as far as I know.”

           Ginger nodded, jotting something down. “Is it accurate to say those spirits just disappear after that?”

           “Yeah, I think so.” I’d never really thought that hard about it, but it would make sense. “Or something like that.”

           She paused, finishing her notes. “And what happens when you touch people?”

           I took a breath to answer, but hesitated. “What do you mean?” As far as I remembered, I hadn’t told her anything about that.

           “When you touch people,” Ginger repeated. “When we met, you had a reaction to shaking my hand.”

           Right, that. “I don’t know, I just, feel what they do.” I thought for a moment. “Its like I absorb it, but only really when there’s contact. Though sometimes without.” A shaky hand went to the back of my neck, massaging a stiff shoulder. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

           “No, you’re doing great.” Ginger mumbled over her notes. She underlined something with a harsh stroke before sitting up and leaning back again. “I have a theory, about what you are. You and your sister.”

           She waited, but I didn’t know what to say. I watched her with barely dry eyes and trying my best to ignore the strength of my heartbeat. What had I said that made her go so far as to put in the time to investigate?

           When I stayed quiet, Ginger continued. “Twin demons are interesting cases, and twin cambions are nearly unheard of just by way of the low odds of either event happening together. The odds of one sibling stealing part of the other’s soul is also not widely reported so there isn’t a lot of information out there, but I figure it only goes to enhance the dynamics between the two of you.” She paused again, as if choosing how to proceed.

           “One member of the pair acts as a source and the other as a sink. I think that your sister, from what you described, fits the description of a source, of power particularly, with her ability to summon fires, and energy, and the added power that comes from the extra half soul.” She set her eyes on me. “Which makes you the sink, meaning your ability comes from what you absorb from others rather than what you create yourself. You take things in, be it emotions, energy, life itself, whatever. It travels through you and it’s gone. When you swallow those spirits its likely they just cease to exist.”

           I stayed silent as Ginger drew her phone from her pocket. She swiped through it and slid it across the desk. Brightness turned up to see every detail, the image of a familiar park glowed up at me. My stomach dropped. It was the park where Vena had taken Striker, but it didn’t look the same. No blood on the playground, nothing scattered or abandoned, dry benches…

           “I went back there two days ago.” Ginger leaned forward, swiping to the next photo.

           It was different angle, one that showed patches of dead, brown grass surrounded by the green.

           “You did that.” Ginger took the phone back. “I remember from your confrontation, and it still hasn’t grown back. It may never grow back. My point is, that this kind of ability can be very dangerous when living things are involved.” She folded her hands on top of her desk. “I couldn’t find anything about there being a physical limit either.”

           Hadn’t Vena said something about that? About me being just as powerful as Ember? Was this what he had meant? My shoulders bunched forward and I stared down at my lap. Was this what he wanted all along?

           “Have you always been skinny growing up?”

           I nodded. “As far as I know.” I sighed. May as well tell her everything. “I’ve actually lost weight lately too.”

           “I see.” Ginger noted something down on her paper. “I didn’t think anything of it when we met, I figured that was just how you were.” She set her pen down again gently. “But after doing some reading, I’m starting to wonder if what you are has anything to do with it. I could only find one other case of a sink-type demon inhabiting a corporeal body, but in that case it was a long term possession.” She opened a drawer in the desk and took out a small book. Flipping through to a page about halfway through, she jotted something down on a post it note.

           “I’m going to refer you to a friend of mine, a doctor, to rule out disease if that’s alright?” She paused as I nodded. “I’ll giver her your number and she’ll call you soon. If my hunch is right, and there isn’t anything medically wrong, it might be the case that some of what you eat just ceases to exist before it has a chance to be actually digested. Its new territory, but after a bit of discussion with some of my colleagues its plausible.”

           She paused, looking for my answer, but I couldn’t think of a reply. It made sense, what she was saying now that she brought it up. It probably was no coincidence that Striker noticed I’d lost weight now while everything else seemed to be going on.

           Ginger continued. “So hopefully we can figure something out to make things easier for you.” Her tone fell. “But for right now, I think it goes without saying that I want you to take a break from working with me until we can be confident that there isn’t any risk for something bad to happen to you. I don’t even want you to do too many readings in the meantime. You can do a little if you want, but I just want you to relax.”

           So this was it? My eyes stung, throat tight as all I could think to do was stare down at my pants. Would I ever be allowed to come back? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. I couldn’t seem to hold a normal job, I couldn’t keep up with the same kind of life everyone else lived, I couldn’t do anything for myself, and now this.

           “Why,” my voice shook. “Why did I have to be born this way?” I leaned all the way forward, resting my forehead in my palms and working my fingers into my hair. “Everyone around me they’re…” I fought to keep my breathing calm, but it slipped further and further with each cycle of my ribs. “They’re getting somewhere, they’re doing something with their lives and I…” I swallowed, wet and breathless. “I can’t. The one thing that might have worked out for me, and I can’t even have that.”

           “I know this can’t be easy for you,” Ginger spoke gently. “Especially after how hard I’ve seen you work.” Her chair creaked like she’d stood, and a moment later her footsteps rounded the desk. “Look at me for a sec.”

           I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand before facing her. She crouched beside my chair like a kindergarten teacher soothing a child with a scraped knee.

           “Its too early to say for sure that you have to give this up. It might just take longer to find a way for you to work safely, and you might not be able to sustain the same levels of sustained engagement as others, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t.” She steadied herself with a hand on the armrest. “If it turns out that there isn’t anything we can do and its just not safe for you to be an exorcist, I’m sure we can find something that would suit you better.”

           Maybe she was right, and she would be able to find something I was capable of but at the same time… Could she? What if she couldn’t? What then? My shoulders fell, and I leaned back as far as I could in the chair.

           Ginger put on a smile before standing up again. “I’m glad you let me know what’s going on.” Some of the seriousness started to ease from her tone. “I can give you a ride home if you don’t have anyone waiting for you.”

           “No, it’s okay.” I sucked in a deep breath as I braced against the sides of the chair to stand. “I think I could use a walk.” That and I didn’t want to make her go out of her way just to bring me back home.

           Ginger seemed hesitant. “Are you sure? I don’t mind, really.”

           I shook my head. “It’s fine. Thanks though.”

           “Alright, if you insist,” she conceded. “I’ll be in touch. Don’t do anything remotely stressful for the time being, understand?”

           I tucked my hands into my pockets. “Okay.”

           She watched as I turned towards the door, then settled back at her desk out of the corner of my eye. No doubt she would be calling Charlotte as soon as I was out of sight. Unless of course, Cynthia had already tipped her off like she did Ginger. I kept my head down as I left through the main foyer. Charlotte had been the one to raise doubt about me when I overheard her and Ginger talking. My hopes fell along with my shoulders. Hopefully Ginger would be on my side, though really, what could she possibly say?

           I tucked into a side street to avoid as much of the bustle of the main roads as I could. Old, broad leafed trees cast cool shade over the sidewalk and parked cars lined either side of the street, sunlight glinting off windows and shiny paint. It would have been a nice day, had I looked up from my feet.

           The weight sitting heavy in my chest seemed to weigh down the rest of my body as I walked, dragging my feet across the worn concrete with every step. What was I going to tell Striker if they couldn’t find a way for me to continue at the college? What was I supposed to do? Even if they kicked me out of the program, I wasn’t sure if I could just… Stop. Could I just ignore when spirits tried to get my attention, when they needed help to move on? Maybe I would have to but… It wasn’t fair. It just—

           “Wait up a moment Cinere.”

           Great.

[aromoji]

So I’m finally getting around to do that aspec Q & A that @ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity posted, and I have quite a few aspec ocs so this could get rather lengthy but here we go

1. What was your inspiration for your character(s)? Are they modeled on yourself, a person that you know, or a character that’s already been established?

My first aspec oc, Abby Scott, was based on myself when I thought I was a biromantic ace girl. So she takes a lot after me. 

Theo Yamada, on the other hand, was a completely new character. I don’t exactly remember why I made him alloarospec, and I’ve been flipping from one arospec identity to the other, but no matter what he always remained alloaro. 

Mina Nicholson was my first character that I had predetermined to be alloaro from the start. She’s based on an old tumblr post about some super hero series idea called “Aces and Arrows.” I obviously didn’t make Mina into some superhero, but her guitar skills make her come pretty close :D. 

Brittany Olajobi is also based on an old tumblr post. Remember the “All or Nothing” idea thing that was floating around here?(Yes, I’m aware it turned into a scam, but I thought the premise was cute). Since no one actually made anything out of that I decided to make the characters my own. The asexual and pansexual girls were roomates....but also girlfriends. That idea kinda evolved into one of my newer series called “Play the Rainbow”, but that’s gonna take a while to explain.

Queenie Brooks...is based on a crude caricature someone made of an ace person (the “artist” has probably never talked to an ace person outside of tumblr but whatever), so I took that character and fleshed her out. She’s an aroace trans girl who’s evry big in activist circles, especialy the sex worker industry

2. How much, if any, has your character(s) changed since they were first created? What caused this change?

Abby and Brittany haven’t changed much besides in their appearance, Queenie and Mina underwent drastic appearance changes since they were created, and Theo’s kinda been going back and forth on the aromantic spectrum,  from strictly aro to demiromantic to aroflux. I’ve finally settled one greyromantic, which coinicdentially is what I identify as.

4. Do you intend on publishing your story one day? Why, or why not?

Probably not. I’m closeted in real life and likely to stay that way as long as I’m financially dependent on my parents.

7. Time to get serious for a bit. There’s been heavy debate on having non-human characters identify as ace, aro, non-binary, etc., but never actual humans. As someone who’s aspec, how would you explain to someone who’s allo why this can be and is seen as hurtful?

Ace and Aro people have been seen as inhuman and robotic for not feeling attraction, especially not in the same way that people who aren’t aro or ace do. Please reconsider making that animal/robot/alien oc aspec unless all or most of your characters aren’t human as well.

8. It’s a sad reality that many stories in mainstream media don’t have characters that are aspec, not to mention without resorting to harmful stereotypes. Besides there being nothing wrong with IDing as aspec, why did you choose to have your character ID as such? What would you tell other authors who’re interested in writing characters that are aspec, but are afraid of offending the community?

I make my characters aspec because. I’m aspec. Also there aren’t a lot of aspec representation (the little we get lol) that isn’t white or cis or yes, heteromantic./heterosexual. Considering the fact that I’m none of those things, all of my aspec ocs are poc like me, some even trans as well. To authours who want to write aspec characters but don’t want to offend the community, PLEASE ask around. Ask more than one person of that specific demographic. Their opinion should not be the only one that shapes yours! Also, if you’re writing an alloaro character, don’t ask someone who’s alloace or aroace. Similarly, don’t ask an alloaro person about writing alloace/aroace characters. Aspec people are not a monolith, our experiences are not the same

9. If you’re comfortable with sharing, what is your characters’ identity? Do they use any microlabels? Does theirs reflect your own?

Abby is a biromantic ace, Theo is a greyromantic bisexual, Mina is an alloaro bisexual, Brit is an ace lesbian, and Queenie is an oriented aroace trans woman.

11. Why do you think that not just representation is important, but GOOD representation? Can you offer any examples?

Fiction affects reality. Therefore, how people see us in the media affects how they see us in real life.

14. What’s a brief biography of your character? Is their history, personality, and/or looks similar to your own?

Uh I don’t necessarily have biographies for them but I have an oc carrd with their details

15. What are the themes of your story? Is it a lighthearted adventure, or are we talking deep, ocean-sized levels of angst? Why, or why not, did you choose them?

It’s a mix of light hearted fun and lots of angst. But everyone (who deserves it) gets a happy ending so it’s all good.

16. How long have you been writing? Has your style changed from when you first began to now? What are some tips you’d give to those who’re interested in writing a story of their own, be it professionally or as a hobby?

I’ve been writing since I was 8. I once won an honorable mention in a writing competition in the third grade believe it or not lol. My writing has definetely changed a lot, and that’s partially thanks to my English teachers I had along the way. My advice to people interested in writing a story on their own is to invest in a laptop/notebook and find time to write. Any time at all.

17. What’s your process for writing? Do you plan your story out first, write whatever you want then edit later, or both? How might this help others?

Planning? Ha! I write as I go. Sometimes I go back and edit entire scenes before publishing tho.

18. Your book’s become quite popular, easily reaching the New York Times Bookseller list, and now, you’ve been picked to lead a writing workshop. It goes swimmingly, and afterward, someone comes and tells you that your book not only inspired them to write a story of their own, but also helped them discover and accept their identity. What’s your reaction?

I’m...not good with compliments.

20. Just for fun, write down a paragraph of your most recent writing. It can be an action-packed scene, some witty dialogue, or a colorful description that you really enjoyed. (Be sure to properly tag any possible triggers!)

Here’s what I’ve started working on:

Theo smooths out the wrinkles on his blue uniform, giving himself a once over in the mirror. All his belongings of 5 long years were packed and ready to board on the ship the  higher-ups would issue to him He turns and takes down one last poster and rolls it up, placing it in his duffel bag. Perfect. Now all he had to do was go through the graduation ceremony and he’d get his first assignment. His hard work being at the top of his class was finally going to pay off.

“Heyyyy, my older twin’s looking sharp tonight!” Trent exclaims, leaning in the doorway with his own uniform in red. He whirls into the room, flopping on the now barren bed. “Ahh, this bed has so many memories. Come on, sit with me!”

“Trent, the ceremony’s so soon.”

“Theooooo,” he pouts. “This may be the last time we see this room, because we’ll be in space!”

He wiggles his fingers in Theo’s face for dramatic effect. The older twin chuckles, taking a seat on the bed.

“Let’s see,” Theo muses, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I remember when we first got here. We were 10 years old, tiny, adorable and innocent little creatures. You were so terrified because they had put us in separate rooms.”

“I was not!” Trent argues. “It was just…a bit of a shock considering I always slept with someone else in my room instead of…all by myself.’

“Whatever. You crept into my room in the middle of the night, poked me awake and gave me the whole puppy-dog-eyes-and-quivering-bottom-lip routine to get me to beg me to let you sleep in my bed that night.”

“And you pretty much told me to go play in traffic,” he laughs. “And I still got in your bed anyway and slept there the whole night!”

“And you kept doing it until you turned 12!” Theo finishes with a playful shove.

[relaxedreptile]

A Phone Call (and 10,000 miles) Away

Pairing: Felix X Reader

A/N: So many of you had asked for a continuation of Lucid and while I don’t plan on writing that specifically, this is about two internet friends meeting in real life! I tried to pull from my own experiences for this one but, admittedly, it’s been a while since I used kik.

Happy May!

You owed a lot to the internet.

It had an endless bounty of information you needed to write papers, was your biggest source of things you didn’t really need to buy, and your go-to for pictures of cute dogs.

Most importantly, it’s the reason you met your best friend.

Barely anyone was a stranger to scrolling through their Instagram feed to waste time and you found yourself giving in to temptation one day during a lunch period that you didn’t really share with anybody that you knew. After seeing a post about some app called “kik” and a group chat that was being made on there, you did some investigating.

Intrigued, you made an account and commented your ID under the post (thank god you found it again) before the bell rang. Hoping you would make it into the chat and that you had made the right choice, you packed up your things and started on your way to class.

At the end of the day, you let out a silent squeal of happiness after seeing the extra notifications on your screen. You sat in your usual seat on the bus before scrolling through the messages in the group chat.

After the bar at the top let everyone know that you were active, you were sent sweet messages that welcomed you and introduced themselves.

Most of the users had profile pictures of anime characters, celebrities, or their pets, but there was one boy who had a head-on selfie.

The app told you his name was Felix and his picture told you he was insanely confident.

You didn’t really blame him all that much.

You sent an introduction of your own, still giddy because of the risk you knew you were taking by joining this group chat. You could hear your father telling you to never talk to strangers on the internet as if he was sharing the seat with you but shushed his voice out of your head after the flood of replies came in.

There were only ten people in the chat including you and it was named after the app you found this opportunity through.

Y/N: This is goodbye until I finish my homework :(

ethanlovesdogs: We love a studious queen

bridgetk123: noooo don’t leave!!

LeeFelix0915: Last minute much? Lol 

Your eyes flicked over the clock that sat on your nightstand and just like you thought it would, it told you that it was barely past 6 pm, what was Felix talking about?

Y/N: Dunno bout you but I think 6 is pretty damn early for homework

LeeFelix0915: Six??? It’s like eight 

bridgetk123: my clock says noon?

beyoncemarryme: Guys!! Timezones!!

girlslovegirlsboys: Time is a social construct

You mentally hit your forehead, remembering that your country wasn’t the only one in the world (because apparently that’s something one can just forget).

bridgetk123: omg!! where are u guys from??

ethanlovesdogs: The lesser known city of Los Angeles.

girlslovegirlsboys: Born in London. Raised in Belfast.

LeeFelix0915: Australia

superwholock24: Bro you 2??

LeeFelix0915: Yoooo whereabout??

While the two honorary neighbors obsessed over the revelation, you couldn’t help but feel jealous. None of the other members of the group chat really lived that close to you and this acted as a wake-up call.

Sure, you were having so much fun talking to this array of people, but was this all it would ever be? Would you ever get to meet these people?

LeeFelix0915: HBU Y/N?

bridgetk123: don’t tell me you left without telling us :(

ethanlovesdogs: maybe they’re just uncomfortable :/

You cleared it up in the chat quickly, sending the city you lived in and making a lighthearted joke about being so far away. It made you feel a little bit better, laughing about it. 

It made it seem like a smaller obstacle.

Before turning your phone on Do Not Disturb, you said goodbye and glanced over at your clock again. 

Fourteen hours, huh?

You managed to restrain yourself long enough to finish your math homework but couldn’t hold back after turning on your laptop to start the preparation for research project. 

“How many miles away is Australia?” Your searchbar read. 

10,000, apparently. Give or take. 

Doable. Totally doable. 

At first, you didn’t tell anyone around you about your new friends, afraid you would get shit for it. 

As time went on, it got too complicated trying to cover up stories like Ethan kissing Mark Wahlberg’s star on the Walk of Fame (and getting strep immediately after) when none of the people you knew in real life were close enough to Hollywood to do it themselves. 

It was honestly easier than you expected, eventually telling your friends at school or your family who you were actually texting. 

The worst conversation you had about it was with your dad. There wasn’t really any judgment on his part, maybe a little confusion but that was expected. 

“Doesn’t it suck, though? Not getting to see them everyday?”

It did suck. It sucked so bad, in fact, that the next thing you knew you were curled under your sheets in the safety of your bed with a lump in your chest and your fingers instinctively going to open up kik. 

Your brain let them open the app but stopped them before they could send any message and sent a signal through your body that made the lump grow bigger. 

Is it worth it? Will I just make this worse for myself if I pour my heart out and depend on people that I don’t get to see?

Before these thoughts had a chance to fester, your phone buzzed and you were met with a message from the chat. 

LeeFelix0915: Finally someone else is on

You hesitated.

LeeFelix0915: Hello? Earth to Y/N…

Making up your mind, you clicked out of the group chat and started a new one, a private one, with Felix.

Y/N: Hey mind if we talk over here instead?

LeeFelix0915: Should I be worried

You couldn’t help but laugh before trying your best to explain your feelings to Felix in the most concise way possible, fully aware that you were just babbling and most likely weren’t making much sense but you just needed someone else to know what was going on inside your head. These thoughts were suffocating and you needed someone to give you air.

LeeFelix0915: Oh honey don’t worry about any of that

LeeFelix0915: You guys are just as much of my friends as the people I see in school everyday

LeeFelix0915: I only talk to some of those people BECAUSE I seem them everyday!! But I deal with you guys voluntarily lol that’s love

How did Felix have such a talent for cheering people up? He was like a breath of fresh air that brought happiness wherever it blew, reflecting on his name. 

Y/N: Thanks Felix <3 sorry for bugging you I just really needed to get this shit off my chest

LeeFelix0915: No apologies necessary, that’s what friends are for babe

Babe. He called you babe. You held your phone to your chest and let out a little squeal, unable to help yourself.

Felix read into your silence and assumed you needed more encouragement, so he decided to send you a selfie of him in bed. 

He was on his stomach, propped up on his elbow with his hair in his eyes and you couldn’t remember the last time you saw something so attractive.

LeeFelix0915: I’m going to send a picture of myself everyday from now on

LeeFelix0915: This way you can say you see me everyday

LeeFelix0915: Technology’s pretty great right?

Y/N: A couple thousand miles has got nothing on you

Y/N: Felix Lee, why didn’t you tell me you had freckles?????

LeeFelix0915: They’re literally in my profile picture

Y/N: How am I supposed to tell from that tiny circle!!

LeeFelix0915: They have these cool things called eyes now

LeeFelix0915: And zooming in

Y/N: Your freckles are too cute for you to not include them in your intro

LeeFelix0915: You think I’m cute?

Y/N: I said your freckles were

Y/N: But yes

You could feel the fire beneath the skin on your cheeks after sending the risky message and you had never felt so much like a teenager.

LeeFelix0915: Good to know

LeeFelix0915: Because I have eyes I can see you’re really cute too, judging from your profile picture

LeeFelix0915: That is you, isn’t it?

Deciding to be bold, you lay down on your bed and mimic the pose from Felix’s photo before taking one of your own and sending it.

Y/N: C’est moi

LeeFelix0915: Damn I was right

Y/N: No secret freckles tho

LeeFelix0915: Mine weren’t a secret!!

The two of you bantered back and forth for a few more minutes until he said that it was time for him to go to class. You teased him a little, about how you were already done for the day (technically yesterday) before regretfully sending a goodbye back.

You opened the photo he sent you one more time before turning your phone off and squealing into your pillow.

From then on, you and Felix began to text each other privately more and more while maintaining your attendance on the group chat. Since the two of you were on kik the most frequently (ironic, considering the time difference), it just made a little more sense to use your own chat when the others weren’t on. If something started up in the group chat, you guys multitasked and continued on with both conversations.

bridgetk123: guys guys guys guys GUYS

Y/N: what what what what WHAT

LeeFelix0915: Someone’s excited

superwholock24: Oi what’s up

bridgetk123: we need ethan here or i can’t say anything

Y/N: Ugh

ethanlovesdogs: Oh god, should I be scared?

bridgetk123: wow

bridgetk123: i thought you would be a little more excited about MEETING ME IN JUNE

ethanlovesdogs: Excuse me

Y/N: OMG

superwholock24: Why choose California when you can come to Australia and get TWO for ONE

bridgetk123: as much as i love you and your country Jisoo, California is a lot closer and cheaper lol

ethanlovesdogs: Please tell me you’re not messing with me

bridgetk123: no way. my mom is going to Hollywood for a retreat and convinced her to let me come along so as long as you’re okay with it…

ethanlovesdogs: ASDFGHJKL BITCH OF COURSE I’M OKAY WITH IT WHAT DAY ILL TAKE YOU EVERYWHERE 

Before you could send your message of congratulations (you were so happy that your friends were getting to meet each other), your phone buzzed, alerting you of a new message from Felix.

LeeFelix0915: Hey can we talk?

Y/N: Is everything alright Lix?

LeeFelix0915: Yeah

LeeFelix0915: I’m just a little jealous 

You didn’t have to ask to know what he was talking about.

 Honestly, you were a little surprised that you weren’t jealous of Bridget and Ethan for getting this opportunity. You were just too happy for them.

LeeFelix0915: I don’t know we’ve all been talking on here for almost a year and I’ve only met up with Jisoo because he’s like an hour away from me

Y/N: It’s just a little harder for the rest of us :( believe me, I would do anything to meet all of you guys

LeeFelix0915: I know I know

LeeFelix0915: It just sucks being so cut off, you know? Even Bridget said it herself, I feel like I live in the middle of fucking nowhere

Y/N: You’re only a plane ride away Lix

LeeFelix0915: I love it when you call me that

LeeFelix0915: You have a point tho

Y/N: Think of it this way! You and I live on opposite sides of the world and we still managed to find a way to meet each other

Y/N: The universe is on our side!!

LeeFelix0915: I thank the universe for you everyday <3

Y/N: You’re so fcking cheesy Lix lmao <3

Decisions, decisions.

Your parents, impressed with your grades and achievements from your senior year, sat you down and told you they wanted to reward you.

They said they were so incredibly proud of your hardwork and told you that you could have anything you wanted as a parting gift before you were off to college, within reason.

Your eyes flickered over to your phone after hearing the familiar buzz of a notification. The screen was filled by Felix’s face (one of his daily selfies that he still sent) and you smiled to yourself, having made up your mind on what you were going to ask your parents for.

What if he doesn’t come?

You had sent the text to your parents immediately after letting them know you landed safely in Australia, desperately in need of some reassurance.

Honey. If this boy has managed to woo you like he has, it’s genuine. He’ll be there.

You smiled at your dad’s text.

And if he doesn’t, I’ll fly out and kick his ass.

You laughed at your mom’s.

Felix didn’t believe you when you told him at first and didn’t believe you until you sent him a picture of you holding the tickets (the group chat still makes fun of him for taking so long). He had immediately switched into travel agent mode, recommending hotels and restaurants and cities all over the country before Bridget knocked some sense into him.

bridgetk123: they’re going to see you dummy not the opera house

girlslovegirlsboys: How can you be sure they’re not going for Jisoo?

Once Felix got the hint, he started messaging you privately to work out everything instead.

You even fit some time in to visit Jisoo, too.

After almost two years of talking to Felix (you only had a general idea of when you joined the group chat and you kinda sorta wanted to know the exact day), you trusted him enough to know he would be waiting for you like he promised. If he wasn’t, it would be because something big came up like a giant scorpion roaming the streets or whatever other scary things lived in this country. 

As you wheeled your luggage through the airport, you allowed yourself a few seconds to look around and take in the surroundings. It really didn’t look any different from home and it’s not like you didn’t understand the language but there was something about Australia that made you want to explore, try new things, embody a whole new person. 

A part of you wondered if something venomous had already bitten you and that’s why you were acting this way, but the rest welcomed the new mindset. 

You studied the signs above you, following the arrows that promised to lead you out of your terminal and to the entrance of the airport where you would be meeting your best friend for the first time. 

Finding yourself in a densely packed crowd of people, you scanned every face looking for a familiar one before your eyes landed on a shock of blonde hair and a constellation of freckles. 

Your suitcase was left behind as you ran to meet Felix halfway, ignoring the way your backpack slammed against your body with each step. 

Strong arms wrapped around your waist as you buried your neck in their owner’s shoulder to pull them closer. 

Felix turned his head to the side to place a kiss on your cheek, making you squeeze him tighter.  

“Hey, babe.”

You giggled and pulled away slightly to get a good look at his face without leaving Felix’s embrace. 

“Your freckles are even prettier in person.”

Felix scoffed to try and distract you from the blush creeping onto his sun-kissed cheeks but it didn’t work. 

“I can’t believe you almost made me wait a whole two years before I got to see you.”

“I sent you photos everyday, we both did!” You retorted. 

“I can’t hug photos, I can’t watch movies with them, can’t squish their cheeks or-”

You put your hands on either side of his face and leaned in. Honestly, you only had innocent intentions to shut him up, but Felix did you both a favor and closed the distance between you two. 

The kiss was short, but his lips were warm and soft and Felix’s grip on your waist made your head spin. It somehow made up for two years in the span of a couple seconds. 

“Come on,” he said once you both pulled away, “let’s go grab your suitcase.”

You grabbed each other’s hands, reducing 10,000 miles to 0. 

[badstoriesaboutgoodpeople]

Amnesia

AN: Hey! This is the first fanfic I’ve written in years, so please be nice to me lol. It’s based on the song Amnesia by 5sos, basically I wrote about Tyler breaking up with his girlfriend to move to Dallas, and of course I also wrote their eventual reunion. It’s really cheesy and I kinda hate it, but that’s ok. I hope you guys enjoy it because I read a lot of fanfics and I know how frustrating it is to read poorly written/boring work. Also I know I said this was going up on the 8th but I didn’t really want to wait because I have my Jujhar Khaira fic to post, I just posted something about PLD on my ao3, I’m in the middle of writing another fic about Tyler, and I have fics planned for draisaitl and mcdavid.

Warnings: none really, it’s sad for a bit but then it’s fluffy

You got home from work to find Tyler sitting on your couch, which wasn't an uncommon sight. You'd given him a key to your apartment when you'd moved in, and he'd often come over to watch movies after a game, or come help you make dinner when he had nothing better to do. You’d been dating for a few years, you got together before his NHL debut. What was uncommon about seeing him sitting there were the tears on his face.

"Tyler, what's wrong?" you asked, placing your purse on the ground and kicking off your heels before walking over to sit next to him on the couch. He didn't respond, he merely buried his face in your neck and continued crying.

"Ty, hun, tell me what has you so upset."

"I'm leaving."

"What do you mean you're leaving Ty, what's going on?"

"I got traded Y/N, I'm moving to Dallas."You sat there stunned, not knowing how to respond. You felt your eyes water at the thought of being without him, but you knew you couldn't let yourself be upset right now, Ty needed you to be strong. You feel his arms squeeze you tighter, and you were forced back to reality.

"What are we gonna do Y/N, you just got a promotion, you can't leave."

"We can try to make it work Ty..... we can Skype every night?" you offered, knowing this wasn't a solution, but not wanting to think about the reality of what would likely end up happening to your relationship.

"Y/N..... you know how busy I'll be, there's no way we would be able to make that work," Ty said while sniffling.

"I know, I just can't imagine being without you Ty. I'm happy for you though, maybe a fresh start will be good for you. You're a great player, Dallas is lucky to have you."

You spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, fearing what would happen once you let go.

Three Years Later

You were driving home from work one day, and you passed the restaurant Tyler and you used to frequent after he'd won a game, remembering the nights you spent there together with the rest of his team celebrating.

I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted

You thought back to the last time you kissed Tyler, in the airport before his flight to Dallas. He tasted like his favourite peppermint gum, and his lips felt soft and familiar against yours. You had agreed to break up before he left and he got a girlfriend shortly after his arrival, so the few times you'd been able to make it to Dallas to visit him, you weren't able to kiss him, and it's something you missed dearly.

Even though your friends tell me you're doing fine, are you somewhere feeling lonely when though she's right beside you?

You had made friends with some of Tyler's teammates the few times you'd travelled to Dallas, and you made a point to text Jaime regularly to make sure Tyler was doing alright. You still talk to Ty, but knowing him he won't tell you if anything is wrong. You still wonder if he's hiding something, but you have to tell myself there's nothing else you can do.

If what we had was real, how could you be fine? 'Cause I'm not fine at all

You haven't been able to find a date since Tyler left, knowing nobody would be able to fill the void that Ty left. It wouldn't be fair to date someone when you’re still pining after your first love who now lives almost 2,000 miles away. You tried dating apps and even blind dates set up by your friends, but they all fell short compared to what you'd had with Ty. You still wonder how he managed to find someone just months after moving to Dallas, how he was able to get over the years you had together so quickly.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things, like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you.

The first few months of sleeping alone had been torture. You'd become so used to falling asleep next to him that you found it impossible to sleep without him. No amount of pillows could replicate the feeling of him next to you, snoring quietly and occasionally mumbling in his sleep. You would often lay awake at night wondering what your life would be like if you had fought harder to keep him with you. You think about what would've happened if you'd quit your job and moved to Dallas with him. Truthfully you still do think about it, when you can't sleep or when you sit alone at my desk at work eating lunch.

October

One day your boss called you into his office, with a proposal. He told you they're planning on opening a new location in the south, and that they'd love to have you there working for them. You swore you misheard him because it sounded like he just said it will be in Dallas. You immediately took the offer, willing to take any opportunity you had to get closer to Tyler after three years without him in your life. You pulled out your phone to text Jaime once you returned to your desk.

Y/N: hey uh weird question but do u know if ty is single rn?

J: he's painfully single, he complains about it every chance he gets

Y/N: on a scale from 1-10 how happy do u think he'd be if he found out I'm moving to dallas for work

J: probably a 10 tbh, he misses you more than he'd like to admit

Y/N: I'm planning on surprising him will u help me? make sure he doesn't find out I'm moving!!

J: will do, look forward to seeing ur stupid face again

You also texted Ty, and begin laying the foundation for your surprise.

Y/N: hey ty, i know i said id try to make it to dallas for ur bday but I'm getting really busy at work rn :( my boss says it doesn't look like ill be able to get time off until march. i promise ill come down then, I'm really sorry i won't be there for ur bday

T:Hey! No worries Y/N, I understand. I look forward to seeing you in march :)

January 28th

You arrived in Dallas two weeks ago, and avoiding Ty had been pure agony. You met up with Jaime and a few of the other guys for dinner, getting all the updates on their lives and Tyler's. You found out he has three dogs now, and you must say you're not surprised. Tyler and you were going to adopt a puppy but then he got traded, and you knew it was only a matter of time before he finally got one. You decide to text him to put the finishing touches on your surprise.

Y/N: hey stranger!! I sent u a bday gift, it should hopefully arrive sometime soon :D

T: aw thx, you know you didn't have to get me anything

Y/N: hey, i had to make up for missing ur bday somehow. I hope you like it!

T: ill love anything you picked out for me :)

Y/N: oh shut up XD

You decided his "gift" is going to arrive on the 30th, considering you wanted to be with him on his birthday, plus you didn't know how much longer you could wait to see him. You texted Jaime and tell him to make sure Tyler doesn't have any plans that day, and you went to  buy some balloons. You bought some green and white ones for Dallas, and some yellow and black just for good measure. You squished them in my car and drive back to your apartment buzzing with excitement.

January 30th

You woke up an hour before your alarm was set, unable to contain your excitement. It was only 8AM, but you decided to text Tyler to let him know his "gift" would be arriving soon.

Y/N:hey ty, just checked the tracking and it says ur gift should arrive this afternoon

T:ooooh any hints?

Y/N:no!! be paaaaaaatient

T: but that's no fun :(

You smiled as you set your phone down and began to get ready. As 1PM rolled around you could hardly contain your excitement anymore. You still felt a slight bit of anxiety, worrying Tyler won't be as happy to see you as you were hoping he'd be. You heard your phone buzz, and see a text from Jaime.

J: hurry up and go take back your bf, if i have to hear him bitch about being lonely one more time i s2g ill scoop my own brain out w a spoon

Y/N:stop being so dramatic I'm just about to leave

You gathered the balloons and the gift bag containing some snacks from back home in Boston, a card from all his friends, and a nice watch you'd picked out for him. You glanced at yourself in the mirror and took a deep breath as you walked out the door of your apartment.

You soon find yourself in his driveway, and you could barely contain yourself as you got the balloons out. You slowly walked up to the door, unable to believe what you were about to do. You knocked loudly, and heard a dog begin to bark.

You heard a familiar voice shout, "Gerry! Be quiet! It's just the mailman for god's sake," and hear footsteps approaching.

You felt a huge smile form on your face as Tyler opened the door and was greeted with a face all of balloons.

"Surprise!" you yelled, feeling what you assume was Gerry jumping all over you.

".......Y/N? What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't get time off?" Tyler said in disbelief, and you felt two strong arms wrap around your shoulders and squeeze you tight.

"That may have been a lie...." you said sheepishly, handing him the balloons and gift bag. He looked so much different than the scrawny boy that left Boston, now sporting a full beard and tattooed arms. You took a moment to savour being around him again, before he ushered you inside.

"So how are you? I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever?" you asked, sitting down on a large couch in his well decorated family room.

"You literally texted me this morning," he replied, sitting beside you while the other two dogs attempted to climb over him to come say hi.

"Don't be a smartass, you know what I mean. We haven't had a proper conversation since before the season started."

"Things have been great. I love it here, the weather is so much better than Boston. The guys here are awesome, the chemistry we have as a team is amazing. I still miss home though, those guys will always be my family. I miss you too, you know. I tried to replace you but I just couldn't. Hell, I bought three dogs and even that didn't work. You're clearly pretty special Y/N, if even three cute labs can't replace you," said Tyler, with a hint of sadness in his eyes. It hit you then that you had to tell him you weren’t leaving, that you could finally be together again.

"Hey, you gotta open your present, I traveled a long way to deliver it personally," you joked, handing him the gift bag. You watched his eyes light up as he saw the snacks, and a large smile form when he read what his former teammates wrote for him. You told him you can return the watch if he doesn't like it, but he insisted he loves it. You laid on the couch for a bit, and you could tell he wanted to get closer to you but won't.

After a while he asked, "Hey Y/N, how long are you in town for?"

"Well I was gonna wait to give you the last bit of your surprise but since you asked I guess I can tell you. I moved here, Ty. I've been here for two weeks. The company is opening a location here and they wanted me to come work here. Once they told me it was in Dallas I couldn't resist."

You watched a look of realization develop on his face, and the next thing you knew his lips were against yours. They were just as soft as you remembered them, and he still tasted like peppermint. Without saying a word you felt him pick you up.

"Tyler what are you doing?!" I shriek as he begins walking somewhere.

"Making up for the three years I spent without you," he explains as he carried you down the hall towards his bedroom.