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jackiezenauthor · 1 month

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Illustration by me.

Complete image will be available on my bluesky account. Full resolution image will be available on my Patreon once I figure out how to post on it from my tablet and how 'by item' subscription works to everyone's benefit (so u don't have to pay per just one drawing and I don't have to stress about posting monthly even though I probably will). I'll keep you updated

In the saddle

🔞 Minors DNI, ty.

Story posted on A03 as well, I won't remove it from there even if Tumblr goes entirely purity-mode one day.

Genre: Paranormal erotica

Word count: 3k

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Cw: you pov, stink enjoying mc, mild self degrading mc, containment, dubcon (?), stranger danger, haunted item (lmk if I missed anything important, ty)

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This is a work of fiction!

No haunted items were harmed for the writing of this story.

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Synopsis: Some people enjoy LARPing and historical items. You take that a few steps further. Tonight, you have your eyes on a saddle so old, they even think it's haunted. You don't believe in such nonsense, but you might be proven wrong...

‘Tonight is THE night!’ you tell yourself as you head for the stables with the dimmest light you could manage, just enough so you don’t step on any unfortunate animals, but not enough to alert anyone else nearby.

You've been working at the farm for a few weeks now, and pulled your weight rather well too, if you might say so yourself. They expected a lot more complaining from your rich ass, raised in the big city, hydrated on cocktails around the pool, but they had no idea how much you found yourself loving the place. Among other things.

The smells, the animals, the sounds, the feeling of dirt under the manicure that you’ve already cut short as soon as you heard about your parents’ plans for your summer…

Not to say you couldn’t say no to them. Not only are you old enough to live on your own already, despite the struggles that cooking for yourself still raises, but you know exactly how low to lower your lip and scrunch your eyebrows at your parents to have them give up any ill will that they might hold against you. Deserved or not.

You didn’t do it this time.

They thought it was because you were finally willing to take responsibility for your irresponsible choices, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

The true reason was waiting for you in the barn. Quiet, rugged from overuse, smelling like anything but the leather that it’s made of: a saddle so old, nobody could tell how it even got there in the first place.

‘Might as well be part of the ole land, at this point’ their grandmother had said.

‘I reckon it outlived five barns now,’ the grandfather had said.

‘Word is, it’s haunted’ their daughter had said. ‘Don’t go looking about the barn if ye hear any ungodly noises, hear me?’

There were no ungodly noises to hear, as you stepped closer and brushed your fingers all across its unkept seat… yet.

If all went well tonight and nobody went by the barn, same as both weeks you’ve been around now, some ungodly sounds might come out… out of your mouth, that is.

Despite its mysterious age, the saddle holds perfectly fine as you move it from its resting wedge and onto the saddle rack closest to the height you need for your plans. Smells like sweat, tobacco, horses and filthy things that you can only guess, and you can feel your body tingling with anticipation, as you muse about adding your own filth to it.

There’s beauty in old things. You’ve always had a fondness to them, to the stories they might have lived through, the people who might have touched them. And old things in places as simple and unassuming as this, you can get to know them in ways that others might frown about… personal ways…

A horse whinnies in the pasture nearby and a dog barks with little conviction. You can hear the wind rustle the trees and grass around, but nothing human, nothing that could spoil your fun.

It’s time.

Your night gown drops off you easily and the hay and dirt on the floor sticks to your naked soles. There might be something wet on the ground too, and it makes you feel dirty. A smirk pushes at the corners of your mouth. The barn smells like it should: dung, dried herbs, old iron, spent wood, grains and leather…

The saddle is rough against your belly as you wiggle your way on it. Not sitting, like one should, but bent across it, like a damsel kidnapped by some rugged wild west men, ready to rob some train, lose all their loot in the pub, and brawl over which one gets to show you a good time first, not necessarily in that order.

Maybe the one carrying you might not even wait until you stop anywhere…

You bite your lip as your breasts hang down, your attempts at adjusting your position without touching the ground, as you would on a horse, making them jump, gravitation pulling against them. Your heart takes off as your imagination mingles with reality, the saddle under you easing you in the scene. It’s perfect like this, you know exactly what you want to hear, how to be held. Imaginary or not, you know you’re in for a really good time.

Touching yourself over the saddle sounded much easier in your mind, but you’ve been eyeing this saddle for far too long to have come unprepared. There’s something already inside you, just waiting for your instruction… at one press of a button…

Your smart watch is dead.

You could have sworn it was fully charged when you left your room in the farmhouse. You’ve been so meticulous too, made sure it worked on Bluetooth alone, if the signal was to fail you. There’s a manual switch too..

If only…

If only you could reach around…

A rag and what could only have been another saddle fall from a rack above and miss you by a scrape of your head, taking off your hair tie. That’s lucky. It could have taken off your conscience too, was it to fall any closer. Or worse? That would be a fun way to hit the news… good thing you wouldn’t be there to see it.

You could get off, start the vibrator, and get back on before you hit the first orgasm. Would be harder to stop or control it, but that sounds rather exciting, now that you think about it. Your misfortune turned out for much better instead.

…

You can’t get off.

Your toes can almost touch the ground, but your ribcage can’t pass through the space between the racks. They must have misaligned when that saddle tried to end your career…

Oh, no…

“Well, I’ll be darned…” a distinctly male voice vibrates in the silence of the barn, just as you were trying to turn around enough to see what’s keeping that blasted rack from moving off you.

Fuck!

You got so distracted with your fantasies, you forgot to pay attention to your surroundings. You’ve never gotten caught before. Today was the day.

“You look rather… tight, miss?” the man speaks again, from right behind you.

The racks are blocking your view and the hair in your face and the darkness of the night aren’t helping either. Moonlight doesn’t reach in the back of the barn, where he is. You don’t know his voice either. Who, and most importantly, why would they be here at this time of the night? Had he been here this all time? Watching you undress? Climbing in? Struggling?

He rests a hand against the rack that’s holding you pinned, but it doesn’t budge. You know he’s moving behind you, but you can’t hear any steps. Even if he was barefoot too, the floor should creak…

You do feel his hand caressing your waist, however, from right under your trapped ribcage.

“You could scream, ya know? I reckon someone would come help…” he says, his hand slowly following your hip and spine, his touch cold like the night air. You should be scared, but it makes you feel reassured somehow. Like you're some horse he’s trying to befriend… a very caught-red-handed horse…

You want to point out that he could help you himself, since he’s already here, but your voice cuts off when his other hand mirrors the first and his fingers dig into your ass, lifting you up for a closer look.

“What in tarnation?” he huffs and his breath travels all between your thighs.

He must’ve seen your vibrator and you’d like to tell him a thing or two about minding his own business, but he also found the button for it and your feet instantly raise and tremble as the stimulation hits you without warning. You hate to admit it but this entire situation… it works.

You curl against the saddle and jolt as you come before you can even remember yourself. The vibration keeps going as you do, and you can’t help but whine in humiliation and ecstasy as you come again, right between the strangers hands, his grip unyielding as you shake. He must be enjoying it. Seeing you writhe like this. Helpless. Trapped.

“You alright there, miss?” he asks while you come a third time.

You can taste the amusement in his tone, but his voice is low, his every word pronounced just a bit too carefully… He’s past just enjoying this.

There should be a remission time after you’ve come five times in a row, but you’ve never done that in front of someone else… your lower half entirely in their hands… Their eyes catching ever twitch of your pussy. You can’t even tell if your heart is racing or just took off on its own at this point.

You’re never going to hear the end of this, if word comes out.

“Please… stop it!” you manage to say between tears and gasps, too many emotions rushing for your attention at once while your ass is twitching so high in the air.

“Why, I thought you put that there plumb on purpose…” he chuckles but the vibration stops before you can start curling again. “Le’me give ya a hand then…”

A moan escapes your throat as you feel your vibrator pulled out of you, slow but deliberate, the orgasm you were heading for before he turned it off, revived within you. You can’t stop yourself from grinding against his other arm, as it stands right between your legs, supporting your belly.

You barely register your toy hitting the floor as you writhe in the stranger’s palm, his hold against you steady, despite your juices already spilled all between your thighs, much more still flowing out of you and all across his arm. You can feel him breathe against the curve of your back: cold but slow, heavy. It makes sense, a weak, rational thought passes your mind, but the animal, feral side of you is nothing but delighted to be met in kind.

Now that there’s nothing inside you, your body frets, demands… there’s nothing inside you…

“I reckon…” his voice is so low, he sounds like purring and your pussy throbs against his arm as the vibration trickles across your skin. “t’wasn’t bein’ stuck that ailed ya… and ya done made your problem mine, lass…”

He lifts your ass higher in the air, his hand still under you, your clit jumping to attention as it rubs against his wrist. You could die of embarrassment. But maybe… not just yet…

You try your best to keep from trembling and moaning as his other hand brushes across your innermost thigh and his thumb slips between the folds of your already tender pussy. It finds your entrance easily and he pauses by it, pressing to go in but not quite. Hesitant. He growls in a language you’ve never heard before and pulls his thumb away, straightening up and dropping you gently. He’s no longer touching you. Worse: he’s taken a step back.

After all of this?

Is he going to just up and leave you like this?

Would he at least set you free before, or will you have to endure the horror of being found in the morning, hopefully by anyone other than the grandma.

But you can hear cloth and metal, maybe leather?

“I won’t force myself upon you, miss,” he says while you can clearly hear him unbuckling his belt. “I never was that kind of man.”

‘Until now?’ you want to throw at him, but find yourself reluctant to argue.

“I reckon we can help each other a smidgen, though,” he says and grabs you once more, rougher this time, holding you up with an arm around your waist while he brings himself to you.

You feel his legs strap around yours while his cock slides right between your thighs, hard and impossible to ignore when it rubs tight between your lower lips and clit, hitting your belly.

On the outside.

“Just yell or make noise if you need me to stop” he says as his legs trap yours tightly and his hands grab each side of your waist.

It’s not stopping that you need him to do. You can tell he’d fill you up to the brim and your insides throb wilder than ever at the prospect. Wanting. Craving.

He pulls away before you can say anything, adjusting his grip one last time before slamming against you, his tip teasing your clit as your insides cry in equal parts excitement and frustration.

The sounds of your wet flesh against his unrelenting thrusts fills the barn and your entire body shakes with them. You want to say something, but save from yelling, you worry he won’t hear you, and he’s chasing the breath out of you as it is.

Your core heats up, you barely keep from collapsing against the rack you’re holding for dear life against. The pleasure. It floods from deep within you and your legs escape his grip as you shake under his thrusts. Your heels hit his ass hard and he grunts, his momentum disturbed.

He readjusts and is just about to resume when you finally manage to catch your breath enough to say “In…”

He pauses. He must’ve heard you but you weren’t clear enough.

“Put it in!” you manage to say.

“Well I’d never refuse…” he readjusts his grip on you and pulls away just enough to make room for his cock to tease your drenching pussy. “…such a lovely invitation.”

You can taste the smirk he says it with, even if he also sounds wistful, but have no time to even think of a retort before he moves inside you, your walls wrapping warm against him. Welcoming.

He swears, and whatever he mutters along with it comes out shaky as your insides throb against his advancing thrusts.

Demanding. Hungry. Still not full enough. Still not hard enough.

Your ass perks up, helpful, giving him all the room he could possibly need, your gspot pressed tighter against his length.

“Thirsty little thing…” he breathes out, his grip on you painful as he touches your inner ring at the same time as his hips come flush against your splayed ass. If his dick was made to order, it would still not reach as perfectly.

He seems to be enjoying the same idea for a moment, his grip loosening just enough that you can wiggle. Just enough that you can swing your hips against him. Urging him where your mind and voice are too taken with the thrill of a fullness you’ve never though possible, and the anticipation of what’s to come.

He resumes thrusting, too gentle at first.

“Harder…” you manage to breathe out but you can’t tell if your mouth managed to pronounce it. It felt more like a pleading moan… and once that was out, there is no stopping the others.

He thrusts harder with every single one of your moans, and every thrust breeds yet another moan, even more pleading than the other. More demanding… more pathetic.

If someone walked in on you now, you’d care for nothing, as long as you kept getting fucked.

Your throat is dry and you feel wet around your mouth but you can do nothing other than cry out in mindless delight as he slams harder into you, so hard that you could swear the whole barn might come apart above you. Your body holds. No, it craves for more. It craves for all. Insatiable.

His grunts behind you have long changed to moaning, his thrusts wild, unstoppable, unhinged. Pleasure that has been playing all across your body gets drawn to full attention, no longer just to the thrashing of your core, but to his grip, his voice, his mindlessness.

The ecstasy organizes. You feel it come together like a horde, savage and relentless in one goal only: ripping you apart. You’re helpless against it. And eager. It’s closing in.

He growls loud and helpless, his thrusts speeding up as your core clenches against him, your insides quaking as overwhelming pleasure threatens to tear at the very seams of your being. Unyielding. Unstoppable.

It’s as if a vulcano breaks from the center of your very existence as you shudder and curl against the saddle, around his cock, in his arms, his fingers digging so tight into your hips that you could swear your skin gave, but the pain only peppers the ecstasy that takes over when his moan sounds delightfully ethereal alongside yours. You can feel your insides trying to squeeze him dry still, as he fills every last space left within you with his cum.

You lay limp from the saddle, his hips still flush against your ass, his cock still deep inside you and you both catch your breaths and minds from everywhere.

“Darn, sweetheart…” he whispers, slowly pushing himself to his feet. Your insides complain as he pulls out just as slowly, but they’re too spent to put up any fight. “They’d need a locomotive to pull me out of you, were I still kickin…” he lets his hands brush across your back so slow and intent, it feels like a caress.

There is a mess of rags and saddles all around you, every rack destroyed, but the one you’re still bent over, the old saddle tight against your belly. The whole barn looks like a tornado just went through it…

“Alas…” the stranger whistles sadly.

It’s morning, and everything around you is increasingly visible, but when you slip off the saddle and turn to look at the stranger, there is nothing but darkness. Pitch, surreal, darkness.

You can feel his hands caress your legs as you pull away, but still nothing of him. The entire side of the barn where he’s standing is nothing but strange, unrelenting blackness. As if the night itself is taking refuge there.

A rooster crows outside, announcing the new day, and, as its song travels across the morning dew, the darkness lessens, giving way to… nothing. The entire side of the barn is empty of even the smallest speck of dust. Not even your toy is there.

Everything around, but the barn itself and the saddle you got fucked on is in complete disarray, you included. There’s bits of mysteriously old leather rubbed into your skin, the smell of it sunken into your pores. You can’t explain what has gone on, but you can still feel its aftermath. You can see it too: your inner thighs are punctured, blood dripping slowly, mixing with juices that are not only yours.

The dogs bark by the farmhouse and the animals start fretting. Soon, the family and their helping will come out to tend to the farm’s many needs. They’ll ask questions that you have no answer to.

You need to get dressed before they see you… still dripping…

#cowboy smut #ghost smut #haunted item smut #smut #jackie zen shorts

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sonocomics · 10 months

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Voting is pointless nonsense when it's all rigged and we lose no matter who wins, to say nothing of the fact presidents are nothing more than puppet leaders to begin with. Stick to the comics instead of kicking the hornets nest with annoying political posts that can't actually do anything.

I tagged that post "politics". It has a lot of political words within it. If you go to your Settings and then click Account you can scroll down to Content You See and there will be a Filtered Tags section where you can add any words that you don't want to see, such as politics

I am not responsible for what you see on your dashboard. You are. You can curate what you see in a variety of ways through tumblr's settings. My posts will only show up on your feed if you're following me or if someone you're following reblogs my posts.

If you're following me, you can either use the filtering I mentioned above (I always do my best to tag posts), unfollow me, block me, or come off anon so I can block you (I won't show your username as I don't believe in dogpiling, though obviously you only have my word on that so it's up to you)

You are free to make your own choices in what you want to see or talk about on your dashboard. But the same applies to me. If I want to reblog something to this blog than that is within my right to do so, and to suggest otherwise is rude and misunderstands the basics of how blogs work. I own this blog. Not you. And as outlined above you have MANY ways to decide what you see, including "annoying political posts"

This same message goes for anyone else who sees this or the post I reblogged. You can reblog it yourself, ignore it, block me, unfollow, etc - it is your choice to make! Just like it was mine to reblog it.

#long post #ask #Anonymous #politics

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charmac · 6 months

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People seem to forget that transmasc people can still dress feminine and vice versa. Men can wear wigs and dresses and women can cut their hair and grow beards. I think Charlie is transmasc and discovered this early so since he transitioned and looked like a male Bonnie dressed him femininely and he felt fine with it. some people are acting like men cant wear dresses and its annoying

It's definitely absolutely insanely accidental, but RCG really wrote Charlie as the most gender character of all time.

The Bathroom Problem is kinda the best example you can give anyone as to how you can have an infinite interpretation of gender: "cis man who poops transgender," I give you transman who can still enjoy wearing a dress in a certain environment, transfem whose closet is a bathroom stall, genderfluid in the place of bodilyfluids (okay, wait. WAS it definitely accidental?)

We're all on Tumblr, we all know anyone can look and dress any way and be any gender (or, if you don't understand that, I encourage you to explore and talk to trans mutuals!), which is why I think it's quite nonsensical to spend time arguing over a headcanon being dismissive of another. Charlie can be anything! Or nothing! (TY Charlie Day for my favourite line in Right to Chop "I don't really identify..." <3)

People aren't required to share the same interpretations or agree on what is a good or bad headcanon, and I think if you're getting upset by someone's own personal preferences or their interpretation for character analysis, you're just not supposed to be in the same circles of the fandom, and that's okay! You can share your own opinions, you can post your own content, but you can't keep people from personally disagreeing or expressing why they dislike a certain interpretation in their own, personal spaces online.

A lot of Sunny is pretty deep and also, very heavy. It's not surprising that people end up pulling a lot out of it, often projecting, and then find themselves very personally connected to their own interpretations and feel extremely validated when others agree with them, or feel upsettingly thrown when they see conflicting ideas. I feel all of that constantly, about many different aspects and characters, and a lot of the time I need to talk about it! I spent two years trying to do that on the SUBREDDIT and that's why I made this blog (and why my Twitter account is all but overrun by Sunny, lmfao). I think that's why most of us are here? And a lot of the time we're going to very heavily, crazily, completely agree with each other, but other times we're going to disagree as well.

Sometimes disagreement is something you can shrug off and move past (yeah, there are very clearly multiple interpretations), something you can just get over by venting more privately or one-on-one, but sometimes it's something you think is genuinely important to address/speak about, and I think that's actually how we can end up having very interesting and meaningful discussions and learn from each other.

(But if that's no good, just unfollow and block if you need to. Some people just don't get along or come from too-far distant places to agree on certain things, and that's a fact of life! This show has thousands of fans who think The D.E.N.N.I.S. System is actually a genius method, and a couple thousand more who think he is genuinely a killer ladies man)

#ask #wtf happened to this lmfao im sorry anon #idk i think i made some points #ive been in enough fandoms to learn that not everyone has to get along #and thats fine but just stop interacting with accounts or people you genuinely dislike lol #this is not twitter theres no good system in place for being a hater #(this is a joke about being able to private quote tweets on twitter)#youre just gonna make yourself miserable in the long run #find people with like minds make posts create stuff share things you love #thats how you enjoy yourself online #fandom shit #sunnyblr

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darklinaforever · 6 months

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I had the right to a new troll today! There's no denying that some TGs are delusional. Apparently, TB started the war and Daemon was killed by Aemond (Repeat several times. Repeating a lie will not make it true for information). 😂 Oh and then obviously, the same bullshit about Daemon loving minors, while we're in a universe inspired by feudal times, and a nice comment on how much this charming person can't wait to see Rhaenyra get burned alive, and that she is responsible for Lucerys' death (instead of you know... Aemond ? His killer ? But I guess TG can't do any harm to these people's heads). While a messenger in principle is supposed to be protected and according to the law has no right to be touched, hurt or kill. And then obviously, the behavior of the Greens children between them is completely normal and typical of classic brothers and sisters...

Essentially, the last message I sent on any post or person to comment on before blocking her :

Obviously that was a troll, just look at the way this person writes bullshit and nonsense, as well as his completely empty tumblr !

And then the TG will go and shout that they are being harassed by the delusional members of the TB. In the meantime, it's us, mostly TB, who receive ghost account comments and insulting anonymous messages over and over again, even in blogs clearly labeled ANTI TG. Newly, these people have to buy a life. Well, at least they fit well with the team they support if we redo exclusively in HOTD and not Fire and Blood. A bunch of hypocrites who look for shit and then complain about being the poor victims who have done nothing wrong... 😂

Oh, and another post dedicated to this troll is present on @nrilliree tumblr here :

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erzatz3117 · 5 months

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Ok, I really need to try my hand at this

YOU: With a bright green flash, the antediluvian servers of Automattic memorised your newest piece of miscellaneous Total Decay illustration.

TRIVIA [Trivial: Success]: "Dahn Sinkewicz and Total Decay" is the book you've been writing, with inconsistent success, for the past 7 months.

TORTURED ARTIST [Easy: Success]: Do you think he could just *forget* about his upcoming nearly-finished magical-realist, new-sincerity, Columbo-meets-Boris-goddamn-Yeltsin detective masterpiece?

DECONSTRUCTION [Medium: Success]: Will it become less derivative if you add more compound adjectives? Also, I don't think "magical-realist" should be hyphenated.

BLACK MIRROR OF PRE-APOCALYPTIC POST-TRUTH: Time is dripping from the ceiling, it's drops making monotone clicking sounds. No living soul has observed your art yet. Or, at least, did not feel anything at all in the process.

1. "What am I doing wrong? I checked all the boxes!"

2. [Delete your Tumblr account immediately.]

YOU: [Delete your Tumblr account immediately.]

BLACK MIRROR OF PRE-APOCALYPTIC POST-TRUTH: You will not leave this place. You have one too many *mutuals*.

1. "What am I doing wrong? I checked all the boxes!"

YOU: What am I doing wrong? I checked all the boxes!

BOX-FITTING [Easy: Success] You even posted it at the correct *time window*!

TRIVIA [Medium: Failure] Don't fret, towarisch, this lack of activity is easily explained by... Sorry, I'll sit this one out.

DECONSTRUCTION [Hard: Success]: Maybe we could look at it from an artistic perspective?

TORTURED ARTIST: What are you implying? It's awesome! Atleast, it is certainly better than some *creations* you see on here occasionally...

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] SHUT UP, FOR REAL. Do I need to refer you to the sign?

+5 XP gained from thought "Never Be Mean"

NERD-JOCK TRANSUBSTANTIATION [Legendary: Success]: You're obviously just not cut for this liberal arts nonsense, bratan! You have gym practice this Wednesday, remember? Your only goal is *the grind*, so show them you don't care about online recognition!

1. [Attempt to throw a tantrum.]

NODE COORDINATION [Impossible: Failure]: The neural pathway previously used for rapid mental mobilisation has dissipated under pressure from punitive education practices and liberal consumption of inhibitory neurotransmitters. I am sorry.

NERD-JOCK TRANSUBSTANTIATION [Hard: Success] Is that yarn-head trying to say that you can't *get angry* anymore?

HOMEOSTASIS: I'm clicking all the right buttons, yet nothing is happening. So yes, our capability for strong emotions has largely atrophied.

NERD-JOCK TRANSUBSTANTIATION [Impossible: Failure]: Wow, that... sucks, bratan. We will have to work around this in the future, I guess...

BLACK MIRROR OF PRE-APOCALYPTIC POST-TRUTH: The obsidian obelisk shudders, emitting a familiar glow: a new notification from Tumblr.

BLACK MIRROR OF PRE-APOCALYPTIC POST-TRUTH: Let's see: your mutual liked your post...

TORTURED ARTIST [Easy: Success] Where did I put my corkscrew?

DECONSTRUCTION [Medium: Success] I wouldn't be so optimistic.

BLACK MIRROR OF PRE-APOCALYPTIC POST-TRUTH: It's a... *funny-haha* post you reblogged an hour ago.

EMPATHY [Hard: Failure]: It seems as if we are the only unpopular person here.

TRIVIA [Trivial: Success]: That is a mathematical impossibility.

1. [Try again to come up with a reasonable explanation for why the notes under your art never exceed single digits.]

2. "You know, this just makes me more convinced that social networks are an instrument of isolation, not connection." [Send the art to that one guy on Discord who seems to like it.]

DIGITAL SPECTRE OF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND: It takes the man you only know from a vestigial meme server a couple seconds to look at the image you've sent to him. He finally answers...

DIGITAL SPECTRE OF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND: "Hey, that is pretty nice! I am always blown away by the depth of your worldbuilding!"

MORALE HEALED +1

EMPATHY [Medium: Success]: Okay, at least this guy likes us.

DECONSTRUCTION [Easy: Success] This veritably shows that our art is not *bad*, so something else must be going on here.

NERD-JOCK TRANSUBSTANTIATION [Medium: Success]: Hey, this bro is *real*!

NOISE SUPPRESSION [Easy: Success]: Everything inside you feels lighter, *validated*, somehow.

1. [Excitedly jump out of your bed.]

2. [Output a highly memetic sound of deep satisfaction.]

1. [Excitedly jump out of your bed.]

EXPLOSIVE POWER [Formidable: Failure]: Your brain sends out a clear signal, but your sore muscles don't move a millimeter.

HOMEOSTASIS: Sorry, boss, not happening. We should've had more that one meal today if we wanted to perform entrance-level acrobatic tricks like that.

2. [Output a highly memetic sound of deep satisfaction.]

NOMINALIZATION [Trivial: Success]: I know a couple good ones, *bestie*. Would look really *-core* on your *moodboard*, or whatever.

YOU: "Yipee!", you say, "Wahoo!", you whimper.

UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL ILLNESS (AKA "THE TUTORIAL"): This feedback cycle has officially concluded. You must create more art to feel satisfaction again.

HOMEOSTASIS [Trivial: Success]: Can we go to sleep now? Tomorrow is gonna be hell by all margins...

BLACK MIRROR OF PRE-APOCALYPTIC POST-TRUTH: Hey, you can't go! You'll miss so much stuff you won't care about!

1. "You're right, my beloved obelisk!" [Keep scrolling for 4 more hours, completely ruining your following week.]

2. "Sorry, *siliconstie*, but I really need to go." [Finally go to sleep.]

Thought gained: The Ovine Enumerator

#disco elysium #writing #total decay

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thecryingastrologer · 1 year

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A hot take on tarot and tarot readings🌚🌝

DO NOT 🚫 PLAGIARISE MY WORK. IF YOU WANT TO REPOST IT GIVE ME THE CREDITS💌🧿

Hey you guys❤️ it's been a long time since I've posted on here. I had a lot going on and i have so much to share with you guys. I'm officially a clg student and I've been trying to figure out how this clg stuff works and i can safely say, I've figured out enough at this point. I will be becoming more regular now onwards by posting at least once a week so that you guys don't feel like you're following a dead account. I will admit I've been active on Tumblr but didn't post as I felt very disconnected with astrology and tarot. I felt like i didn't wanna do it because I had a lot of things going on and was trying to figure my self out but came to a realisation about my inclination towards spirituality and the reason why I created this account. Thankyou all for being by my side and still viewing my content, engaging with me and following. I'm eternally grateful for it and wish to repay you all back by bringing life to this account🧿🫀🤍🙏

Soooooooooo, let's start off with something that may rub ppl the wrong way but😘

So I started getting into tarot a while ago and have been following and engaging liking and all alot of tarot pages on this app, which i will say are very good. Like alot of the readers on here are very good🧿 and not just here but also on YouTube.

All of these opinions are my own thoughts and observations and NOT a fact so 🌼

🌺 i feel like a lot of ppl who turn to tarot readings do not accept what the readers say because they don't want to hear anything other than their expected thoughts.

🌺 Alot of the tarot accounts on YouTube and Twitter tend to sugar coat what the cards are saying. In the sense, that they will somehow manage to manipulate even the most straightforward reading to cater to the audience instead of being upright with it. Like the cards will say one thing and the reader will either completely change the meaning of it or try to manipulate the meaning. Nowwwww, ik alot of yall will say that sometimes the intuition is just different than the meaning and i agree but I'm talking abt the ones who straight up manipulate tarot for views and engagement and such ppl are clowns who should stop this kinda nonsense for their 2 min fame and learn how to be honest.

🌺 Now, you see, there's a reason all these tarot readers on this plateform tend to tell you to use your discernment and get in touch with your intuition and it's because spirituality today, is not limited to only a certain group. Anyone can get into tarot and astrology but not everyone is spritual and give 2 stones about its art and essence. These ppl will try to manipulate the fuck out of you so that you either stop using your intuition and discernment orrrrr start trusting them too much to a point where you rely on them energetically, if you know what I mean.

🌺 You should take tarot and astrology with a grain of salt. Remember, nothing is set in stone. It always changes and that is the beauty of it. Speaking from personal experience, it is very easy to get addicted to tarot readings. I remember, i started off with one video and then got hooked to it and stopped using my own discernment. Now, i tend to use my discernment and remember that at the end of the day, the power lies in my hands.

🌺 Continuous use of tarot readings will make out of touch with reality and your own intuition. I remember i used to feel very mindless after consuming alot of tarot readings and thay was because I was living in my own dillusion that got created because of excessive tarot readings. So go for tarot readings but don't become chronically dependant on it.

🌺 it is fine if you don't agree with a reading but do not go around disrespecting the readers who are genuinely doing it for you and put actual effort into their content.

THANKYOU Y'ALL FOR MAKING IT TO THE END OF THIS POST. ILYSM YOU GUYS SO MUCHHH🧿🫀❤️

#astro community #astro notes #astrology #birth chart #horoscope #pick a card #tarotart #daily tarot #tarot #spirituality #tarotoftheday #tarotdaily #tarotblr #taroteverydamnday #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #tarotonline

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lemotmo · 18 days

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Let's have a good day!

Q. Oh my god it was Ryan's idea! They're liking edits (which Tim has now also mentioned!) They're letting Ryan admit he's behind the mustache. The "insiders" real identity was discovered, as if we didn't all know. This is a good day so far. Thank god because it's way too quiet for a show that premieres in 3 weeks 😳

A. I love that it was Ryan's idea. I love it. He just walked in with it and shot his shot and they told him he could keep it. That's baller. I read that someone guessed that he probably did it to mess with Oliver, if Buddie is in fact a go, because Oliver said last season that when you close your eyes lips are lips. Given the nature of their relationship that's not that hard to believe, and it would be hilarious if that's why he did it. I know Ryan said he was looking like a true firefighter but it looks really gay. He pulls it off incredibly well but I don't think anyone's first thought when they saw it was 'oh my god he looks like such a manly firefighter'. I say that as a fan of the stache, lol. As far as the edits go Oliver and Ryan already admitted that they send things to one another so the both of them being demons is not a surprise. Jennifer reposting it at almost the same time however was a surprise, so I wonder if they were filming together last night or if Oliver or Ryan just sent it in the group chat and they all decided to post it together. Either way it was a nice little surprise. Tim telling people that the 3 of them sent it to him as well was hilarious.

The promo thing is now officially odd. The fact that we don't even have a trailer yet is bizarre. I was talking with a colleague this morning who is also a fan of the show, and we both kind of think something fairly significant must happen in the first 3 episodes and they're just being overly cautious about accidental spoilers. So even if we do get a trailer I wouldn't expect much actual content. They are keeping their cards very close right now. I also don't think the Family Feud episode is going to spoil anything. Although I am still curious to see what charity they're playing for because that could still be interesting. Whatever the reason for the secrecy though they don't seem to be worried about any lack of promos. So they must feel pretty confident that whatever they're hiding won't need a ton of promotion to gain traction. There are very few things I can think of that they wouldn't need to help promote, lol. I guess we shall see.

Lastly absolutely no one should be surprised to find out who their 'insider' really was. We all knew it was nonsense. Tired, boring, completely predictable, and easily disproven nonsense. *Sigh*

Thank you Nonny! Much appreciated.

I agree with this. Ali and I talked a little about this topic earlier and yeah, they are keeping such a close lid on everything that they have to be sitting on something major. And that something major doesn't need any extra promotion, like Ali said.

I'm so curious what they have in store for us. I expect a trailer that will tell us exactly nothing. 😂

As for the moustache? Not going to lie. I hope he keeps it for the entire season. The man looks so good with it.🥸

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

#anonymous blog I love #nonnies galore #ryan guzman #promo speculation #season 8 speculation #911 speculation #911 abc #celebrity family feud speculation

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gurugirl · 3 months

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Hello everyone. I am very sorry for the nonsense that I caused. I genuinely did not mean any harm to come from it. I sent it out of admiration for your ability to be able to create these stories. I do appreciate the one person that took up for me while I was away at work, although I never condone being mean or talking to someone as if they are stupid. But also I’d like to say that everyone else that commented was mean, too. I understand them wanting to defend you but there was nothing to defend and even when I read my message, I still don’t see where it even came across as nasty. I am not a writer and I do not have an account on tumblr, I just enjoy reading what you write but honestly I’m a little taken a back by this entire situation. I’ve never experienced toxicity in this fandom like I have today. But again, I’m sorry for the mess I caused.

Thank you for clearing this up hon. I did say I might have been too sensitive when reading it. And in all honesty, when going through all the asks I get sometimes they put me on the defensive (because some of the asks I see in my inbox that never get posted are simply mean and it can be hard to get myself out of that mindset when looking at benign asks like perhaps yours was).

Asking someone if they're employed can come off as jarring, though. Especially when that's the whole point of the ask - that you are unable to understand how someone could write so often if they're employed. You never mentioned enjoying anything you've read - just the question about my employment status so I was taken aback.

But since you've explained it was not your intent I'll apologize for the ones that were upset for me and for my emotional response to your question. And the person that took up for you just added fuel to the fire by insulting me and my intelligence so I wouldn't be thanking them if I were you, but I can understand that you didn't like the other comments that came in my defense.

And this fandom is toxic hon. This doesn't scratch the surface lol. I'm actually surprised this feels like anything that big to you because I've dealt with way worse to be quite honest.

Once again, I'm sorry for the way I responded when you didn't intend for your question to be rude. I appreciate that you sent me a follow up.

xoxo

#ask

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bzhitstruth · 1 year

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A little about the types of "candy"

I apologize in advance for my English - this is not my native language, I do not speak well (and maybe sometimes I speak like Master Yoda).

Recently, there has been a wave of outrage among the turtles on Tumblr, because from time to time there are malicious anti-accounts that try to devalue our fandom and “wash” candies. This pissed me off and I decided to write a post.

But now this is not about these accounts.

I want to organize (mostly for myself) candies and arguments that we all love so much and look for in every GGDD action.

I am of the opinion that many of the candies are probably really wrong, but this is very individual, and if many people are happy with candies that seem unconvincing to me, they have every right to be. I also have candies that I strongly believe in and, in my opinion, they can not be "washed".

Maybe my "organization" will help someone better understand and also determine for themselves what kind of candy are more reliable, and which ones can be "washed" over time (and are really unintentional).

And one more thing: all these my fabrications are completely fantasy and fake, I just talk about all sorts of nonsense, in reality this nothing doesn't exist! 🤡🤡🤡

There are a lot of materials in Yizhan's world, I will give only a few examples. You don't have to agree with me at all. Everyone has their favorite “candies”, if you are so interested of GG and DD that you want to follow their life and work, then on this way you will find many exciting and intriguing details that you personally will like.

1. "Numeric candy" in social networks — kadian

I like kadian very much. I won’t talk about what it means and how to use it, many already know, and who doesn’t know, there are many materials on this topic, for example, there is good post of @rainbowsky.

Before, when I first became a turtle, I counted everything that was published by GGDD, but over time I realized that this is not worth doing. It is unlikely that DD, GG or their teams bother counting the date and time numbers in each post. It's just absurd and no one busy person would do that. But I think they make sure the numbers look neutral and won't post every day 28 or 23 knowing full well what it mean.

On the other hand, I believe that the direct kadian (for example, the time 18:33 or 23:38) wasn't made by chance.

Sometimes I believe in kadian with counting numbers (for example, 1+8+5+9 = 23), and I have reasons for this - sometimes they both publish such kadian (for example, 28 and 23) on the same day, and that reduces the likelihood of coincidence.

If someone is trying to "wash" kadian, then his argument can be only one thing - "this is an accident." It is impossible to prove intentionality or unintentionality of numbers. In this case, you'd better just decide for yourself whether you believe it's an accidentally or not. Look at the type of post with kadian (it is most less likely in advertising and it absents in posts on social and political topics), what circumstances preceded it and what happened after it. And if you understand for yourself that in this case it is quite appropriate, then no "washing" is valid here - kadian, by definition, cannot be "washed", it's just a matter of probability and faith.

I will give a little example, when the kadian in the ad looked suspicious, and I am inclined to believe in it - this is the time of the publication of GG's advertisement at 10:18 on March 26, 2023. Yes, this is just an advertisement that GG constantly publishes in the morning. But firstly, the timestamp :18 is completely atypical for him, secondly, he knows perfectly well what it means and what kind of reaction may follow, and thirdly, the accompanying circumstances. This post appeared on the morning after the ambiguous Weibo Night, they were in the same city, and in the morning GG was leaving, and bad rumors and gossip spread immediately after the event. I personally believe in this kadian, because for me the circumstances are convincing, but in each specific case, everyone decides for himself.

This category also includes GG's posts of 18 (actually 33) or 12 (actually 28) photos with which he periodically pleases us, 18 photos, including 8 “movie tickets” from GG. It is impossible to prove whether this is a coincidence or not. Look at the likelihood and yourself decide. I believe in this kadian.

2. "Numeric candy" (kadian) that GG and DD demonstrate personally

These are the hands and numbers on watches, the numbers on the sleeves, above the head, spoken verbally personally by GG and DD etc.

I noticed this most often with DD: the numbers 31 and 5 on DD's jacket before GG's birthday, 21:33 on the clock above DD's head in Los Angeles, 32-33 on DD's sleeve on June 21, “2nd row 30th place, 3rd row 20th place” at a fan meeting in Qingdao, and the like.

As for the GG, he has an episode in the vlog on February 7, when someone stops the radio dial at numbers 8 and 3. Although GG himself is not in the frame at that time, this is still his vlog, and it seemed remarkable to me. GG makes it more elegant and not so obvious (the picture can be enlarged).

Can it be "washed"? Some of this, of course, can be controversial and it can be explained as coincidence. For example, a clock display in LA could show a random time. Or DD not chosen the clothes with numbers by himself, but the brand insisted on this (I believe that this is DD's choice).

But how do you "wash" what DD said personally twice at the fan meeting if he and the whole world know perfectly well what those numbers are? If the anti's claim that he "disapproves bjyx" were true, then this just could never happen.

And Y.-Off. posted on Instagram that photo from LA with 21:33, and in fact they could easily not have done this, but they did.

3. Specific things that are pretty obvious

One example of such things is the glowing BJYX sign posted on Weibo by DD's team on October 29, from the final of SDC5. This photo was placed in the very center, and the light sign could be easily cut off or simply erased, and a million photos were taken at the final, but this was chosen. Try to explain why the person who allegedly "disapproves bjyx" did this. This is the very reliable and loud candy.

The same category includes DD's “sneakers and ice cream”, “give the scorpions to WB” (GG's food vlog in Qindao), UGG shoes in GG's vlog June, 7, the text “heart with a mole” in DD's Weibo post on April 26, 2023, and the like.

Something can be "washed", for example famous GG's "rainbow" umbrella, which many considered as such for a couple of years, turned out to be black, we had seen this in his recent July vlog.

You can try to “wash” UGG, refer to the fact that DD was not yet a brand spokesperson when the vlog was filmed. But going back to the previous point - GG KNOWS who the brand ambassador is now, he KNOWS how it will be perceived, other things in the room are blurred and hidden but shoes are on display. It is unlikely that he and his studio did this publication in a state of clouding of mind.

4. Very subjective things that are perceived emotionally and awaken the imagination

These are meaningful words in the songs, the “wedding” outfit on Weibo Night, mention of lychee and camping, a certain arrangement of photos, GG's photo with the dog, DD's T-shirt with the dog. Where DD looked and how smiled, how GG greeted DD's colleague in a special way, images and allegories that GG shows in vlogs and uses in interviews. Jaw and finger DDGG (which pops up again and again and haunts turtles! I'm agnostic about this "candy"). GG's drawings, DD's dances, "I'm out of the habit of spicy food", voices of GG and DD behind the scenes, birthday greetings to DD, sunset, moon and so on.

And our favorite bone necklace also falls into this category, because no one knows exactly where it comes from and what it really means for DD. We can only believe or not believe.

This is the most vulnerable category due to its extreme subjectivity. This is purely a matter of faith and individual perception.

Sometimes such candy are "washed" by GG or DD themselves. If you remember, in November 2022 GG posted several photos, and among them one with incomprehensible blurry red-blue stripes. Many have decided that this is blurred photo of Lego "Titanic", which GG bought for DD. But in the December vlog, GG showed that those were streetlights that he filmed from the car. He sometimes advises us to hold our horses.

I really love things of this kind, I like to look for strokes in the drawings and peer into the photos of GG, guess what this or that emotion can mean, and what DD wanted to say with his dance. GG especially likes to make such riddles, his vlogs are special works of art, I always really look forward to them and find a lot of secrets in them.

It is very difficult to confirm these things. It is unlikely that GG will ever come forward and say what he really meant by drawing two boys on the beach … But I hope at least a small part of this will someday be clearer. Let it be so.

5. Timing of actions

After a long silence on social networks, the posts of both appear one after another. Or after a suspicious period of time - for example, after 13 or 85 minutes, or after 3 hours and 28 minutes. Same posts style. Simultaneous arrival in Beijing after the Hong Kong concert, supposedly from different cities. IP addresses from the same location. The gestures that DD made at the "water show" on July 10, GG shows us the next day in his vlog.

The simultaneous disappearance of both from the field of vision (August 4, 2023), GG being late for work during the DD's illness. This can be “washed” if you prove, for example, that there were definitely other reasons for being late or absence.

An example of such "washed candy" - many thought that GGDD were together on DD's birthday in 2022, but later it turned out that this wasn't.

6. Clothes

I put this in the separate category, because this section is quite large. These are fun candies that many turtles love (myself included). We've already lost count of the same brands that GG and DD wear. It is difficult to "wash" such candy, because that they both wore We11done, Alexander McQueen or Maison Kitsune is a fact. This is observed very often, and sometimes things of the same brand appear after a short period of time.

If I'm not mistaken, once was counted about a hundred matches in GGDD clothes (now there are probably more), and it was noticed that DD's employees used things those brands are represented by GG and on the contrary.

7. Acquaintances, colleagues and friends

These are a few people who sometimes hint to us that they know something. This is “Uncle Lan”, other CQL colleagues, DDU brothers, songwriter and her comics, colleagues from the industry, I won’t tell names, they are known among the turtles.

Sometimes their hints are quite transparent, and we are always happy to see that GG and DD are supported by other people in their circle.

To refute it is the same as to assert that all these people have conspired and are fooling us for some reason for years. Agree that this is absurd!

In addition to all this, beyond any categories, we have BTS of CQL, Rumor Houses and BottledJoy. There's been a real circus going on with BottledJoy lately, so it will be very interesting to see where this all leads, and it's a very funny to watch them performances.

Perhaps I forgot something important and didn't mention some categories, because there are too many materials regarding Yizhan. And this is great, because even if a few candies are "washed off", we will not lose anything, we always have many others!

And no antis can cope so much evidence that we believe in and that tells (and sometimes just screams) to us, that BJYXSZD💚❤️.

#bjyxszd #yizhan #cpn #bjyx #just imagination #GGDD my love #yizhan forever

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thatswhatsushesaid · 11 months

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i will add this info to my pinned post as i get myself more organized, but for now, here is a list of other public places online that you can for sure find me doing more or less what i do here in the event the lights go out here on tumblr:

while i am technically on not-twitter, i don't see myself migrating there from tumblr, so i'm not going to bother dropping a link to my account. if you really want it, you can pm me i guess lol

middlemarchingfic @ ao3, where i've been doing my fic-writing nonsense for years already;

thatswhatsushesaid @ bluesky; i've done literally nothing here yet but thank you very much to @missveryvery for the invite 🙏🙏🙏

ragweed @ plurk; this is a locked personal account that i use for staying in touch with dwrp people tho, so i may create a separate public one for fandom nonsense. still, if we're mutuals here, feel free to add me if you want;

middlemarching @ mastodon; i have no idea how this platform works slkfdjas but i'm here!!! let's go team!!

sibilantepicurean @ reddit; mostly i just lurk here and haven't done.. much of anything with the account, but maybe that will change.

i plan to create a dedicated dreamwidth account just for my mdzs-specific meta, shitposts and screencap art, but it's going to need a little bit of time to put together since i'm not sure at the moment how much cross-posting functionality exists between dw and tumblr. anyway once i figure out what i plan to do, i'll update my pinned post with the details.

#it goes without saying that i am also on discord but since that is a direct messaging app i'm not dropping my details here #ray.txt

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atthebell · 6 months

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Im still a bit new to tumblr and im confused what you mean by roiers tag is unusable? Is there a specific way to tag things? /genq

so in order not to clutter tags and make them really annoying to scroll through, the only things that should go in "main" tags (as in "roier" or "qsmp" etc.) should be posts that are actually about the person that other people will want to see, not random liveblogging a la "omg this is so funny." so, for instance, a meme about whatever roier is doing on stream is totally fine, or clips and fanart, but like i said, just your random liveblogging doesn't belong in there.

it's not like a TOS issue, it's more about tagging etiquette for other people using the tags. this is, btw, why i don't main tag most of my liveblogs-- if i'm just posting "omg he's so cute," that doesnt go in roier's main tag. most of my liveblogs don't go in the main tags. but if i'm posting things i think anyone who's into roier would want to see, then i do put it in his tags. it's also, frankly, about numbers-- fifty different liveblogs from the same one or two accounts that are all just nonsense and nothing i want to see when i'm seeking out roier content is obnoxious.

and i get that people just don't know how to use tumblr still, and the tagging etiquette in this fandom in particular is awful, but it's still really annoying to be trying to find roier fanart or posts talking about his content and have to scroll past a lot of nothing to find it. it's a fast way to get blocked on here (by me, at least, because i block for any minor annoyance) and it's definitely not going to actually make you any mutuals-- what would be actually beneficial in terms of trying to connect with people, if that's what people are looking for, would be tagging posts that other people actually want to see. people can and should use the main tags for things that are interesting! just not for whatever random thought pops into their head.

#asks #anons

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vampiremeerkat · 10 months

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I kinda need some advice (if you're comfortable giving), how does one keep their cool/sanity in the hellish atmosphere that is fandom nowadays? I really wanna get back to fanart and stuff as purely a hobby (and it was a huge part of my childhood) but considering how much of a warzone it is nowadays, I dunno if I can. Got anything?

Don't think I'm the right person to ask, I've not had that many entanglements with fellow fans throughout my online career. It's easy to assume that's because my overall viewership/online presence is low, but I've had the occasional semi-viral success and always enjoyed more praise than "criticism". I'd say fandoms in general are lenient and supportive, but every and any kind of community in the world has an insufferable minority. They shout and have alot of time on their hands, making it seem like you're dealing with a crowd, but that's never the case. Even if hundreds of people jump you, billions walk the Earth; it's not even a fraction of a percent you've displeased. But here's an actual answer to your question: In short:

Choose your fandoms wisely.

Don't overstay your welcome by sticking with one.

Don't join any online communities or participate in ongoing discourse. You're only here to draw.

Train yourself to understand that nothing in life fucking matters anyway. :(

In ｌｏｎｇ: I switch my focus alot. If I attract fans of a particular fandom, but the next thing I show off is less likely to tickle their interest, most will leave again, and it's kinda protecting me from growing an unsettlingly invested fanbase. Praise and attention never motivated me to stick around with one series for long, because I know what's waiting around the corner and don't want to be known as "the <insert this one piece of media here> artist", anyway. Look at my nonsense and go away, I just want to die alone! I'm also not active at any online forums and rarely look up and comment on other people's work. Spares you alot of "who asked you"-styled responses. I might've not when I was younger, but agree with the sentiment now. Unless you come across something criminal, why intrude on someone else's fun. Grumble about it on your account if you must, but don't take it to theirs.. even though it's valid to argue that posting something online is an automatic invitation for others to critique it, especially when you don't apply any form of visibility restrictions. I don't really care to discuss ideas with fellow fans. Weird claim, since my Tumblr exists, but I started this account to post Deviantart stuff. People showed up one day and started asking questions about the fandoms I've been involved in (or haven't), but it's not my hobby to get deep about a fictional property. Without getting instigated, anyway. I think about a question's subject as I read the words, do my best to dissect the whole thing and not throw around one-sentence replies, but seldom have the answer ready in my head. The3Eds was the only forum I enjoyed myself at, and the things I talked about over there barely had anything to do with Ed, Edd n Eddy. In the end, no one will be able to offer you one foolproof strategy on this matter. There've been many artists in the past who minded their business and were slaughtered by strangers. You need to be the kind of person who doesn't take online verbal abuse to bed. That's hard to do if you're looking for validation. You could avoid large fandoms that are known to attract the overly defensive and offensive, but if you have to tiptoe through life for others, what's even the point. Know that the internet is a luxury you don't have to participate in. Log off for a week or so if you're feeling down, or alternatively, delete all comment notifications indiscriminately as you keep on doing your thing.. unless you insist on deleting negative comments, but I don't think you should. Why stop people from embarrassing themselves in public. I don't think I've ever deleted comments, unless it's copy-pasted stuff/spam, because what often happens is that the poster regrets and deletes it themselves. I suppose that has value too. Allow that shit to stay alive, so the poster may one day return to it and potentially realise they're better than that. It's easier to keep your calm when you humanize your critics, if you can. The way a person expresses themselves may be trash, but what is it they're saying, and can the reason be empathized with? Sometimes you're dealing with someone who's obviously a child. I struggle to get angry at people under the age of 20. But really -and more importantly- no one should waste their time on fighting fellow fans when it concerns an issue that's objectively not important, you have better things to do. Try to close your eyes for it, it's seldom personal, even if the attacks try to be. People can pretend, but they don't know you and never will.

#fandom

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justanotherfanwriter · 1 year

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And they were ROOMmates

Cht list: (1) (2) (3) (4)

a/n: here’s what Black*Star’s going to be doing in this story lol. Every soul eater arc had something just plain nonsensical in it, and I wanted to emulate that <3 because the dumb stuff was the best stuff.

As always, thank you for your kind words and support. I’ve had this chapter written for a while, but I was too nervous to post it. Can’t move on until I post it tho so here it is! Please forgive me for any occ-ness. Trying to write all seven of them and having them talk over each other like they do in the canon is easier said than done for me, but I think I have my basic plot foundation laid out for the rest of the story 😊

fyi I put this story on ao3 (as requested), so don’t forget to leave a comment or kudos (if you want lol). I’ll continue to update on tumblr as well!

------------------------------------------------

The DWMA clinic they were currently in was not on school property but nearer to Star and Tsu's apartment. Thanks to Medusa, the clinic on the school's main campus was now solely used for school emergencies that occurred on campus for accountability purposes. It was an effort to counter-act any other "black blood" level stunt. The rule had been met with only minor opposition, mainly from Professor Stein, but his complaints were largely ignored.

The building was a remodeled urgent care that took patients from Death City and some of the surrounding counties, and then, of course, the DWMA students or agents injured during missions. It was a nice little set-up, and "special" agents, like Maka, occupied the top floor, which required a key pass to access. Soul pressed the key pass the nurses had provided him to the pad before hitting the button to level five.

"Can we not mention this to Maka? I don't want her to worry," He requested as the elevator doors shut, blocking their view of the Program Agents that had swarmed the cafeteria, trying desperately to rub elbows with Kid. Marc, everyone's favorite cafeteria attendant, had caused quite the stir, but nothing big enough, in Soul's opinion, that required a team of thirty brown nosers and suck-ups.

He didn't look away from the panel of buttons to know his request had the rest of the group shifting their collective gaze toward Black*Star, who paused scraping around the inside of his ear to glare back at them.

"Oye!" He scowled like they had insulted his very being, "Why are you all looking at me? What! Do you really think I'm just gonna walk in there, blurt out Soul got his ass kicked, and that Kid—"

"—stole my fucking shot!" Black*Star yelled, bouncing up and down on Maka's bed, "Just stole it! I mean, what the hell kinda bullshit is that, huh!?"

"Stop jumping!" Soul growled, reaching to steady Maka as Tsubaki latched onto Black*Star's legs, echoing his sentiments, "Black*Star, be gentle!"

His legs being rendered immobile didn't stop Black*Star from monologuing. He waved his arms dramatically in the air, "It was going to be perfect! I shimmed up onto the ceiling and was strategically swinging my way across the room using the light fixtures when—"

"Wait, are you okay?" Maka asked him, furrowing her brows as she spoke over Black*Star. Her arms wrapped around his as she searched his face for clues.

Soul scowled, stepping out of her grasp. This was exactly what he hadn't wanted to happen. "Don't be dumb." He tsked, "Do I look hurt?"

His answer didn't alleviate the worry on her face as she turned to examine the others, "Is this person still here?"

"Of course not!" Kid sputtered, taking a step toward them, "I've had them—"

"Ah! Ah! No! You're not allowed out of your corner yet!" Maka ripped around, jabbing a finger in their Death Lord's direction, "I'm still mad at you."

Kid shrank in on himself, turning to face the wall again.

With a satisfied nod, Maka relaxed against her pillows, no longer glaring but obviously, to him, still worried about the predicament. It wasn't like Liz had been wrong. No good had ever come out of a trip to the hospital, and he and Maka knew that better than anyone.

"Well, I guess that's why you took so long then, huh? Here, I thought you had ended up ditching me," She sighed, her gaze falling back to him. Her smile was small but genuine. She had never had a big smile, like Black*Star or Patty, but she had a way of making someone feel like they were the only person in a crowded room when she smiled like that.

"Wow, ye of little faith," He shook his head, unable to stop himself from smiling back, "Sorry about the food."

"It's fine, it's fine," She waved him off, "what's one more night of applesauce and watery chicken broth?"

"If I had known you were hungry, I would have brought something. I've been stress-baking," Tsubaki confessed with a sheepish look as she sat down in the chair by Maka's bedside, the one that had formally been his, but if anyone was going to steal his spot, he was perfectly fine with it being her. Tsubaki gingerly held one of Maka's hands in her own, "We were only just now allowed to come visit. They said family-only for the first 24 hours."

Maka shot him a look, and he shrugged, "If anyone asks, you're my half-sister."

"Wouldn't everyone here know better?"

He stuck his hands in his hoodie pocket, "I made a compelling argument, I guess."

He had threatened the nurses and doctors, of course, with his blade, but same difference. It wasn't like Maka needed all the tiny details anyway, she was healing.

Liz wrapped an arm around his shoulders and leaned toward Maka with a conniving little smirk Soul didn't like, "I told him he should have said you two had gotten hitched. Way more believable, and they can't refuse a spouse."

"No," He sniffed, refusing to meet Maka's eyes, "Half-sister."

"Speaking of visitors, has anyone else been by to see you, Maka?" Kid asked the wall.

Soul stiffened on his own accord, slipping out of Liz's hold as he answered quickly for her, "No."

He watched Kid from the corner of his eye to gauge his reaction, who stood up straighter with surprise. "Really?"

"Why?" Soul asked, really watching him now, wondering who the hell they should have been expecting. Other agents, maybe, with a slip changing Soul’s assignment to Antarctica? Had Harvar followed through on his threat?

The tone of his voice must have caught Kid off guard because he pushed away from the wall with large eyes and exclaimed, "But Spirit's been going crazy! He's left early every single day!"

Soul blinked and then forced himself to unclench his jaw and relax his shoulders.

"Oh, uh, yeah, Spirit's been by, obviously, but no one else. At least, not while I've been here." He shrugged, banishing Harvar from his thoughts. Kid was here, for Maka's sake, not to hit him with a pink slip. Why he had ever thought differently was insulting to his friend, but he kept his apologies to himself.

"Actually, I would like to see him here less," Maka rolled her eyes, "please."

Kid smiled smugly at Liz, "So he isn't cutting work."

"No," He and Maka said flatly, "he's cutting work."

Liz rolled her eyes, plopping down on the bed, "I'd rather him here than at work. Kid's right. He's been an absolute mess."

Maka opened her mouth to retort when Patty jumped up from the ground, holding up a piece of paper she had been scribbling on since they had all seemingly collapsed into the room, trying their hardest to stop Black*Star from being, well, Black*Star about things, an impossible task in retrospect.

"I made you a card, Maka!" Patty giggled, thrusting it into Maka's face and making her go cross-eyed.

"Oh!" Maka blinked, prying the card from the other girl's grip, "Thank you, Patty, this is, uh, just…yellow on paper. Uh, crayon, maybe?"

"And color pencil, and—" Patty dug into her pocket before holding out a squished and dribbling mustard packet, "—I found this in the cafeteria!"

"Patty's really been into abstract expressionism lately," Liz explained as he and Maka sniffed the paper, sharing a look of unease.

"It's very creative, Patty!" Tsu smiled, ever positive, as she leaned over to examine the sticky piece of paper herself.

"Yellow tastes good and happy," Patty nodded, licking the open end of the mustard packet, "but it makes Kid so mad!"

Kid stepped closer, eyebrow twitching, "That's only because there's no sense to it. If you would like an actual art lesson—"

"—corner—" Maka snapped at him, pointing him back to his designated spot.

"—I'm sorry!" Black*star crossed his arms over his chest with a sneer, commanding their attention, "Can we please get back to what matters here?"

"Maka's health?" He asked with a sigh, plucking the condiment-covered piece of paper away from Tsu between two pinched fingers and gingerly propping it up on Maka's bedside table.

"No!" Black*Star jabbed a finger at his chest, "Me! I've got business to discuss with you, Maka."

There was general grumbling among the group as a response. "Ah, sit down," Liz barely looked up from her nails as she waved Black*Star off while Soul grumbled, "Save it," wiping mustard from his fingers onto his pants.

"Black*Star," Tsubaki spoke up, pulling on his pant leg as she awkwardly tried to save the situation, "maybe later?"

"M-maybe later!" He stuttered, "No way! What's the big deal?"

"Maka's healing," Tsubaki explained, "we'll ask in a little bit. It can wait."

"Ah, whatever," It was Black*Star's turn to wave them off, "Maka's fine! I mean, what's a couple of bones, right, Maka?"

“I really am okay,” Maka agreed.

"No," Soul disagreed.

"I mean, Maka, have you ever just tried making your bones unbreakable?" Black*Star tilted his head in thought. His expression was open and earnest, practically downright innocent, as he proclaimed, "Just don't have them be broken anymore! That's what I do!"

Soul pointedly stared at the cam boot adorning Black*Star's left leg, "Didn't you get stuck in that from falling down some stairs?"

Again, Black*Star waved them off, tilting his head back to let out a loud cackle, "Ah, that's different!"

"How?"

"Sneak attack, duh." Black*Star sniffed, rubbing his nose, "And now I'm immune!"

"That's not how it works," He shook his head.

"It is!"

"It isn't."

"And this isn't just a social visit!"

"It is." Soul amended.

"It isn't!" Black*Star stomped forward on the bed until he was hovering over Maka, "I gotta know, do you still have all your nerdy Coffin Scout shit?"

"Coffin Scout?" Soul echoed, and another smile spread across his face, "You never told me you were a Coffin Scout."

Maka's forehead twitched as she glared at Black*Star, pushing his head away from hers, "First of all, it wasn't nerdy. Second of all, yes, I was a Coffin Scout," She sat a little straighter, "I was an excellent Coffin Scout, thank you. Third of all," Her expression faltered, "why do you want to know?"

Black*Star stood proudly, once more jabbing his thumb into his chest, "You're looking at Troup 564s next Undertaker!"

All of them, minus Tsubaki, stared at him until Maka finally blinked back to life, "I'm sorry. You?"

"Well, Angela, you see," Tsubaki started to interject, "she's—"

"Don't you have to be, like, a mom to be a den mother?" Liz asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Undertaker." Black*Star instantly corrected, "And, eh," he shrugged, "who cares? Maka's dad did it."

"Let's not go that far," Maka looked off as a twitch again pulsed through her forehead.

"It's a unisex position." Kid huffed and stood slightly straighter, "I was also a proud Coffin Scout in my youth. Maybe I can assist you in your endeavor, Black*Star? I know all the—"

"—pass." Black*Star scowled, crossing his arms over his chest with a 'hmph' and ignoring the daggers Kid shot his way.

"You were a Coffin Scout?" Maka smiled, apparently forgetting her Corner Rule, "I had no idea, Kid. Shouldn't we have been in the same Troup?"

His glower fell, and he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, "Ah, well, I never actually…made it to a Coffin Scout meeting."

"Because it was for little girls?" Soul deadpanned.

"They ended up changing that rule! But yes." Kid flushed, then brightened, "Still, I read the whole handbook over a dozen times. The Coffin Scout's dedication to tradition and policy never ceased to impress me. I knew the chants; I even tried my hand at getting a few badges, my first being the pattern badge, which, of course, obviously has to do—"

"—Patty was a coven scout too," Liz cooed, speaking over Kid as she reached for Patty to pinch and squish her cheeks, "you should have seen her in the little uniform. It was so cute!" Liz continued to beam like the proud older sister she was, "She was kicked out after her first meeting because—" Quickly, Liz snatched her hands away from Patty as she tried to chomp down on the fingers closest to her mouth, "—she had a biting problem. Patty. No."

"We had our own version of Coffin Scouts in Japan, but uh," Tsubaki quietly explained, "I did martial arts instead with my brother."

Again, the room began to fill with a symphony of voices as one story bled into another that drowned out another, and the cycle continued ad nauseam. The endless conversation used to be something that made Soul dizzy. In the beginning, he wondered if this was what all friendships were like, constantly trying to demand the stage and outshine each other, until he finally realized there was a rhythm to their chatter, a call and response as stories layered atop each other until they reached the crescendo, screaming "my stories are yours."

Of course, he still immensely preferred the peace of silence, but the noise his friends created was as much a part of "coming home" as anything else after a long mission. If they were silent, then he'd know something was truly wrong.

Black*Star, who always demanded the stage, didn't share Soul's cheesy, sentimental, and secret approach to their friend group's hive-mind-like conversations. He began to pout, then glower as the spotlight was again taken off of him. Soul watched as his eyes darted between faces and counted down the seconds they had left until he reached another tantrum.

Slipping one of Maka's ponytails off his wrist, Soul aimed it at Black*Star striking him square in that large forehead of his, stopping the tantrum before it even had a chance to begin, "Ah, stop pouting, and tell us how you'll be inconveniencing us this time."

Maka quirked an eyebrow at Black*Star, joining Soul, "Yeah, why are you suddenly an Undertaker? I thought Coffin Scout's was the—” she poorly mocked Black*Star’s voice, crossing her eyes, “lamest thing in the world?"

Now that Black*Star finally held the room's attention, he seemed to falter under it, which Soul found odd. That wasn't like him, not at all. His confidence wavered for a moment before he shot a look at Tsubaki and nodded, squaring his shoulders, "Gotta set a few racist assholes straight, ya know, for Angie."

That was enough to cause to a general uproar.

"Angela? Is she okay?" Liz asked as Patty sat up, for once without a smile on her face.

"Did something happen?" Maka asked with wide eyes, looking for answers from Tsubaki.

"Who did it?" Kid glowered.

"Hey!" Black*Star crossed his arms, "I'm handling it, alright? I just need your nerd shit, okay? The troop she was in doesn't want her because she's a witch, so—" Again, Black*Star tripped over himself, seemingly stumbling over the right words to say, "—so, you know, we're making our own." He glared at them each in turn like he was challenging them to say something, "Any problems with that?"

"Star!" Maka snapped, rising to the challenge, "Dammit! Why didn't you start with that?"

"Yeah—" Liz scowled, and Patty finished, "—what gives, man!"

“None of you were listening!”

"Again, because you were taking too long," Kid muttered, rolling his eyes.

Black*Star tried leveling him with an icy stare, "I will kick your ass."

"I'd like to see you try." Kid spat back without flinching.

"Holy sh—it. You two and the arguing today," Liz huffed, "knock it off."

"Are you in on this too, Tsubaki?" Maka asked, ignoring the other boys. After so many years, it was easy to tune out their constant bickering.

"Mhm," Tsubaki nodded, "I'll be the assistant troop leader! It's, uh, well, I just hope I do well. I don't know much about the Coffin Scouts."

The tension between Kid and Black*Star dissipated instantly as Kid turned eagerly to Tsubaki.

"We could review some of the handbook!" Kid suggested, eye glittering with excitement "I still remember—"

"—no thanks." Black*Star waved him away again, ignoring the daggers Kid shot him.

"I'd actually very much appreciate that," Tsu smiled.

"And, of course, you two can have all my old stuff. Lucky for you, I think, uh—" Maka stopped and tapped her chin, "—I think I still have a few of my old binders stored at my dad's place. He never let me throw any of it away." She grimaced through a smile, "He's coming by later today. I'll text him to bring it over if you want to stick around for that long, that is?"

Black*Star finally plopped down onto the foot of her bed, sitting with his legs crisscrossed, "What else do I gotta do today, huh?"

"Looks like you're stuck with us until your old man shows up," Soul smirked, leaning against Maka's bedside table.

"Stuck with them," Maka corrected, "not you—" His heart fluttered for a moment, half-hoping-half-dreading she was about to fix his wordage. "—you're going home."

With his lame hopes effectively trampled and his ego put back in its proper place, he furrowed his brows together and quite eloquently stuttered, "W-wait, what? Why?"

"You need to go home and sleep, Soul," She sighed, "I haven't seen you sleep for more than five hours this whole weekend."

"I'm fine," He shook his head.

"Don't make it an argument. Just go home and get some sleep. I'll be okay!"

"Uh," He pushed off the bedside table, uncrossing his arms to argue with her, "I beg to differ. There was a lunatic downstairs looking for you. Did we forget that?"

"No," She glared back at him, mocking his tone, "we did not. But I'll be fine. I can take care of myself. I'm not useless."

"No one said you were."

"It's not like I'm alone right now," She countered.

"And," Kid interrupted, "I'll have two people at her door every night as long as she's here."

Maka groaned, "That isn't necessary either."

"Protocol," Kid shot back.

"If anyone needs a babysitter, it's you, pigtails," Black*Star snorted in a rare act of agreement with Kid.

"Fuck off," She glared at Black*Star, kicking at him.

"I'm staying." Soul announced over their bickering, "Not risking it."

Maka stopped shoving Black*Star to scowl at him, "You need to sleep."

"You do look tired, Soul," Tsu spoke up, trying to placate the situation, which would have been annoying if she weren't so good at it, "and we'll be right here with her until Spirit arrives. She'll hardly be alone."

"And I need my mask, remember. These lights—" Maka pointed to the overhead lights, where one was still flickering at odd intervals, "—they're still killing my head."

"Fine," He conceded, "I'll run home, nap, get your stuff, come back."

"No, you'll go home, get my stuff ready for my papa to pick up, and then go to bed," She looked off for a second before tacking on, "and make sure Blair's okay, and check the mail, and then maybe clean out the fridge, and make sure the cat didn't drag anything in while we were gone, and shoot—” She snapped her fingers, “—I think I have a package at the post office, and—"

"—jeez, Mak, just write your errand boy a list," Liz snorted as Patty did her best impression of a whip. He made sure to flick her off when Maka wasn’t looking.

"Yeah, good idea," Maka said, taking Liz literally, "I'll just text you a list."

"But—" He started, but she stopped him, reaching out to grab one of his hands.

She squeezed it lightly, "Soul, go home. Your dark circles have dark circles."

He stared at her, neck warming as he felt everyone else watching them—Kid watching them—but couldn't find it in himself to do the safe thing and pull away. Instead, he studied her face for longer than necessary, his heart hammering against his rib cage as he thought of every single reason why leaving would end up being the worst mistake he had ever made.

Pretty green doe eyes batted up at him, "Please."

Against his better judgment, he squeezed her hand back, muttering a simple "fine" before turning away. He didn't let go of her hand until he was forced to, her fingertips slowly slipping from his.

"Text me when you get home!" Maka's voice echoed down the hallway as he slowly made his way toward the elevators.

As the elevator doors shut, he could hear Maka’s room again explode with the sounds of his best friends, all competing for each other’s attention until finally he was enveloped in silence, a stark difference than from before. A panic flared within him, and it was then that he decided he had been mistaken. He didn’t prefer silence. He needed their sounds. Without them, everything felt wrong.

Bad wrong. Unsafe wrong. Like something had gone wrong, wrong.

He gnawed on one of his hang nails, trying hard to push his ill ease away. He hated being alone with his thoughts, and it was made worse with that shitty little red horned demon always knocking on the door of his subconscious, acting like an internal metronome with no end in sight.

He dropped his hand from his mouth, staring miserably at the elevator doors. Maka was right. He needed some sleep.

#soul eater #soul x maka #long fic #my writing #im also a little nervous about this chapter #because it’s all dialogue #and idk how to write some of their voices yet #but we go back to just soul’s lil world next chapter #and he’s big time Sad Boy™ in it

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