#i have scripts to edit and work on and lines to memorize and whatever

[mistrias]

was so excited today because rehearsal was cancelled but i still had work to do for my lines so i was like i'll pull a classic unemployed move and go to the library. after i was done i looked up some books i'd been wanting to take out in the library system and lo and behold, 2 books i wanted were at the library and available! now you may be thinking to yourself surely she located the books no problem and successfully took them out to read. Well. That's with the foolish assumption that anything in my life is easy. neither of the books were where they were supposed to be or even down the length of the entire aisles, which i spent 10 minutes each scanning through. And now you may be thinking to yourself surely she asked the helpful library attendant to help me find the books. Well. That's with the foolish assumption that i'm good at talking to strangers when there's the potential for me to be made a fool of. which there was. and because at heart i am a child too scared to ask for ketchup, i did not ask for help to find the books and i went home empty handed. SAD!

[thekisforkeats]

Ooh jm + shy kiss for the prompts?

Ohhh good one! I had to think about this a little and actually wrote up a bunch that didn't quite work at first. But! Here it is!

Set somewhere in the first few minutes of 160, in those weeks between arriving at the safehouse and Hazel Rutter. Featuring autistic Martin trying to navigate social situations because that is evidently what I write now.

(Incidentally the term "weak ties" was coined by a Stanford researcher in 1973. Link to the relevant paper. Credit where due, and all.)

(No beta no edits we die like archive assistants.)

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It takes Martin a week to convince Jon to come down into the village with him.

If he's being honest with himself--and he's trying very hard to be honest with himself these days, so he can identify any Lonely-type thoughts--he really just wants to show off his boyfriend to the nice lady at the little shop in the village where he's been picking up essentials.

Martin is a naturally friendly person, or maybe a naturally personable person. This was not always the case; he had to practice a great deal to memorize all the scripts to smooth social interactions that other people seem to navigate without thinking about it at all. It can be horribly exhausting, just going to the shops. It's one of the reasons the Lonely appealed to him; how much easier to just move through life without having to recite all those canned lines?

Now that he's out of its grip, he's come to realize how much those interactions matter. He's been reading a lot on the internet about depression and social interaction, about social circles, and one thing that caught his eye is the idea of "weak ties," those people we're not exactly friends with, but who we see on a regular basis and who help us feel connected to a larger community. People who don't really know us and yet know something about us that helps us feel seen. The bus driver who gives you a familiar nod every morning. the barista who's prepping your order as soon as he notices you in line, the shop lady who tries to keep your favorite tea in stock.

So Martin is trying to cultivate those relationships, to feel part of a wider community, rather than just relying on Jon. He thinks that maybe if he'd had more of that, before, if he'd tried harder to go through the world being seen, he might have handled Jon's coma and his mother's death in some kind of healthier manner.

Maybe not, of course, but he's going to use any tool he can to keep the Lonely at bay.

At any rate, even beyond being very good at social scripts, Martin does genuinely like people, he's a good listener, for an autistic guy he's practically a social butterfly. And Elspeth is a nice lady, maybe mid-40's, the kind of person who runs a shop because she actually likes interacting with a stream of customers on a regular basis. So she's just the sort of person for Martin to practice his "weak tie" skills.

Because, naturally, one of the key benefits of "weak ties" is that they are the sort of people you get to be public about your relationship with when none of your closer friends are around.

Yeah, no, all of the above is just flimsy justification, if Martin's being really honest with himself. He's just madly in love and wants literally everyone within a 500-mile radius to know.

That morning, Martin makes a big show of how badly he wants to spend time with Jon, no really, but he really does have to go down into the village.

"We're out of tea!"

"I don't think we have anything for dinner!"

"But I really want to keep listening to you talk about Scottish history!"

And so on.

Jon gives him a tolerantly amused look, and Martin flushes. Is he that transparent, or is Jon just that good at reading him?

"I suppose I can go into the village with you, Martin," he says, eyes glittering. "Since you're so terribly interested in the House of Stuart. I'd hate to leave you wondering what happened to James II."

Martin would feel guilty, but he can tell Jon is pleased to be "indulging" him, and it's not like Martin hasn't been listening to Jon infodump about whatever random facts Beholding's been given him all week.

They hold hands all the way down into the village, and it's nice, to walk through the place and be seen, together. It's comfortable. They'd held hands on walks before, long ago in London, before the Unknowing, but back then they hadn't been sure what they were, hadn't managed to broach the delicate barrier between "friends" and "something else." Now, they're "boyfriends," and Martin keeps finding himself wanting to go up to each person he sees on the street and shout, "This is my boyfriend, Jonathan Sims!!"

By the time they reach Elspeth's shop, he's feeling a little giddy.

He pushes open the door and the little bell rings, and Elspeth looks up from behind the counter and smiles. "Martin!" she says, and Martin's whole body warms in a very pleasant manner, that this woman he's only known a week remembers him. "Oh, and this must be the elusive Jon." She gives them one of those teasing smiles people give to new couples, glittering eyes and amusement at the silly things people do when they're in limerence.

"Yes," Martin says, and suddenly the words stick in his throat. "Yes, this is... is... umm..." Oh, why has he suddenly frozen like a deer in headlights? Why can't he remember the right words?

"Jonathan Sims," Jon says smoothly, stepping forward to offer the woman his hand. "And yes, I'm Martin's boyfriend."

It occurs to Martin, all at once, that neither of them have said that out loud to anyone else. No wonder he's frozen up.

Elspeth glances at the burn scars on Jon's hand only briefly, then smiles--and it's a genuine smile, not one of those pitying ones people sometimes put on when they see scars like that--and shakes said hand. "Pleased to meet you," she replies. "Elspeth Douglas." She has the Highland accent, but softened; she spent her 20's and 30's in London, she's said, and came back to take over the family store when her father fell ill. The similarity might be part of why Martin likes her--that and the fact that it seems that helping her sickened parent improved her life.

"Ahh, yes. The not-so-elusive Elspeth." Jon actually flashes a grin, which Martin finds remarkable. Since when is Jon... friendly? Well, maybe he's trying for Martin's sake. If so, Martin very much appreciates the effort.

The woman behind the counter laughs, and says, "How can I help you?"

"Oh," Martin manages, his brain catching up and letting his mouth work again, "we're just here for tea and things."

"Of course," Elspeth says. "I'll be here when you're ready."

They turn away, to go deeper into the aisles.

"She seems nice," Jon says almost absently. "Shame about her fa--" He pauses, and frowns. Shakes his head, looking irritated. "You didn't tell me about that," he grumbles.

"No, I didn't. But thank you for trying to keep it in," Martin says.

Jon sighs, lowering his voice. "It's becoming harder and harder to separate what I've learned on my own from what Beholding gives me. How much of my thoughts are mine anymore? Did I actually memorize all those facts about the House of Stuart, or am I getting the... mental Wikipedia page, as it were?"

"Seems like a thing you'd know," Martin comments offhandedly. He's focused on figuring out what kind of rice to buy. He wants to try his hand at sticky rice, which really should have calrose, but Jon likes jasmine rice. Do they get both?

He doesn't want to think about Beholding, and how much of it is Jon anymore. He prefers just thinking about it as something like a smartphone app Jon can use without having to actually have a phone in front of him. He does not want to think about how much of his boyfriend has been potentially consumed by some kind of eldritch thing that feeds on fear.

He really doesn't want to think about the idea that maybe soon, Jon won't even need rice anymore, and will just live off statements, no matter how much he jokes about his partner's "eating habits."

Jon has been talking as Martin's been staring at the rice, but Martin hasn't heard any of it. He's brought back to himself by a squeeze of Jon's hand in his.

"Hey," Jon says softly. "You okay?"

In Jon's voice, Martin hears all the concern that Martin himself has been feeling. He forces himself to look at Jon, and sees bright green eyes staring out of a deep brown face. He realizes he's gotten used to the color of Jon's eyes; before the coma, Jon's eyes were brown, like a deep carnelian, and so large and dark sometimes Martin thought he could fall right into them and be happy drowning there. Now they're green, bright and disarming, and Martin's pretty sure this is why Jon still wears glasses he no longer needs, to hide those strange eyes behind plastic lenses.

Those eyes are looking up at him intensely now, and Jon's brow is furrowed, and his mouth is pulled into a frown in a way that highlights one of the worm scars near his lip, and all of it is adorable, but it's also disconcerting for the contrast between the softness of his voice and the intensity of his expression.

Is Jon as afraid of losing Martin to Forsaken as Martin is of losing Jon to Beholding?

Martin frowns at him for a moment, then sighs. "I just..." He has to look away, back to the bags of rice. "I just... don't like thinking about that. Beholding, and... all of it. I just... I just wish..."

"You wish we could be normal." Jon's tone is still soft, and filled only with love and no sort of guilt or self-recrimination.

"Yeah," Martin says, still staring at the rice.

There's a hesitation, and then Jon says, softly and slowly, "You know... normal people deal with these sort of difficult things, too. There's so much out there that can hurt people... the things we deal with, they're weirder than most of the rest of it, but..."

"Yeah, I know, Jon, I just..." Martin hunches his shoulders. "Don't want to lose you again," he finally mumbles.

Jon hesitates a moment, and then he leans in to give Martin a soft kiss on the cheek.

Martin flushes bright red--Elspeth's right there!--and turns to stare at Jon. "W-what... what was... that for?!"

Jon, too, is blushing. "I just... ah... I just... wanted you to know that... that I'm... here. You haven't... lost me. Or anything."

"Oh," Martin says. "Well. Thank you."

There's a moment where they just look at each other, and then Jon blurts, "...Can I kiss you again? It's just, I haven't all morning, and I really sort of wanted to spend the morning cuddling, but you wanted to come down to the shops..."

"Here?!" Martin stares at him.

"We can go behind the shelves if you like," Jon says, blushing furiously.

For some reason, this makes Martin giggle, and then he leans down to brush his lips to Jon's. Softly, shyly, as if they haven't been kissing each other all week, because he really is terribly aware of the fact that there are other people around.

"Tell you what," Martin says as he pulls back, surprisingly breathless despite how short the contact of their lips was, "let's finish up the shopping and then we can cuddle all afternoon."

Jon smiles up at him. "Promise?" The smile widens. "You're not going to drag me around to introduce me to every villager individually?"

"I was not--!" Martin glares at him, but now Jon's smile has become one of those shit-eating grins he gets sometimes, and Martin can't stay mad at him at all.

"You knew," he accuses, but there's no heat in it.

"I had a hunch," Jon says, humming. "I didn't want to spoil your fun, though."

Martin rolls his eyes, and then reaches out to take Jon's hand again. "Well, then, we'd better get to it. Jasmine or calrose? Rice, I mean."

"Both, I think," Jon says. "I find myself very much desiring normality of late, and rice is a terribly normal sort of thing."

[love-fireflysong]

This is strictly for @wacem who wanted to know what my extremely stupid and self-indulgent Until Dawn AU is. So if you don’t give a shit, then no worries! Cause this is all gonna be under the cut!

In my head where it will solely reside for ever and ever, I call it my Indie/C-Movie AU. Basically, it’s a universe where all of the ud kids met in university instead. And how did they meet? Why, because though each of them are taking their own ‘canon’ majors, they have all decided to minor in Film. Some to actual further their studies (Josh and Ash) and the others because it seemed like a super easy course (virtually everyone else).

After being forced to work together to create a short movie, they (ie: Josh) posted it online to minor acclaim. Now, despite the fact that they all have their own lives and jobs, they meet up once a year for like a couple of weeks to a month to film a new movie. They have a small, but dedicated following.

Some important things to note:

none of them actually act in any major roles

they instead hire aspiring actors from the theater course (good and bad alike!)

that being said, it is a fun game for viewers to try and find them in background scenes

instead everyone fulfills an important role in making the movie itself

Josh, special effects and costumes

Chris, lights and camera, helps Ash with editing

Ash, script-writing and editing, helps Chris with camera and lighting

Sam, location and assistant director

Emily, costumes and promotions 

Jess, hair and make-up

Mike, producer, schmoozing his way into areas that they really shouldn’t be allowed to film in 

Matt, jack of all trades (...fine I’ve been blanking on his job, but he seems the type to just help out anyone who needs it)

I’m sure you’re wondering who directs these things, and the answer is: they all take turns! Like Ashley directed some super high art film that no one understands the plot of (Chris has in fact watched it like a million times, he has memorized all the lines and scene changes, but he has no fucking idea what it’s supposed to be about). She plans on doing a mystery/thriller next time it comes back to her. To the surprise of no one, Josh has directed his own horror movie. There was so much fake blood. So much of their budget that year went to the fake blood alone. But the special effects and creature design was *clicks tongue* so it’s a cult classic among their fans.

Matt is your go to for feel good movies. Whether it be about dogs or sports or whatever, you will cry.

Mike is all about that action baby! Though he does have plans for an aspiring political thriller full of twists and turns in the works...

Chris has yet to direct and every time someone brings it up that he hasn’t had a turn yet, he keeps suggesting that maybe Ash should have another go. (She has yet to realize why he keeps doing this. Everyone else knows why he keeps doing this.)

Josh is horror, horror, horror. That’s it.

Jess likes her coming of age rom-coms and no one judges her for it.

Em meanwhile is all about that cut-throat world of business as the female hero makes her mark and rises through the station to the top! No ‘family is the most important thing of all’ moral here folks!

Ashley played with making an art film, but has decided to stick with what he knows and loves: mystery.

Sam tends to aim towards nature documentaries or the time she worked closely with Matt to make a movie about the friendship between animals.as they tried to escape a burning farm. There was not a dry eye in the house that night.

And that’s really it! It’s just a stupid AU where they all make movies together as friends and I love it.

[popculturebuffet]

Nightmare Time Episode 1 Review: The Hatchetfield Ape-Man/Watcher World

I take a look at the first episode of Starkid’s new show Nightmare Time! Starkid, returns for a zoomcast, bringing back the casts of both Hatchefield plays for an anthology series of science fiction double feature picture shows! This week’s tales of terror:

The Hatchefield Ape-Man: A british heiress gets romanced by a shaved bigfoot with the help of everyone’s favorite kooky college professor. Forgotten fiances, murder and described nudity naturally insue. 

Watcher World: Bill and Alice return as Bill drags his daughter to a kitschy theme park for a day of family fun, which Alice enjoys and is as respectful about as much as you’d expect. As you’d also expect given Bill’s general luck, things take a turn for the Shining real quick. Spoilers and full review under the cut. 

Well this was a nice suprise. With the ongoing pandemic I genuinely did not think Starkid would be back anytime soon. Having just gotten back into them this years after several years of forgetting they existed via the Hatchetfield plays, I was pretty bummed, if understanding. So last week’s announcment of not only this series but a full scripted series from their sister production company the tin bros was a HUGE shot of happy I needed in this troubling times. Still need to watch spies are forver love the soundtrack nto important. 

Point is the Lang Brothers and their merry band of actors found a way to continue on via  format I didn’t realize existed outside of table reads but is a nice way to do things: The Zoomcast, basically a podcast done live on zoom, with the actors in plainclothes for the most part, with one person, in this case Nick Lang, reading out descriptions of what’s going on. Being a starkid production this also has musical director Matt Bohm playing accompaniment and pretaped if still via the actor’s own camera musical numbers. Overall while i’ts an understandably cheap production, only what costumes the actors have on hand and most props mimed, it WORKS, allowing for way more elaborate set pieces than the stage would allow and is anchored by Lang’s impeccable descriptions and the cast’s amazing as always acting really making the stories pop.  So things worked on a technical level despite having the barest of bones to work with. But did it work on a story level? Well yes, but if I ended my reviews with just that i’d have less than the 3 or 4 fans I do have, so without further ado, it’s nightmare time! The Intro: 

Now normally in my reviews I don’t talk about the intro because I come in mid way or because I just didn’t think to. This is an exception since 

A) I should be doing that anyway or at least when I cover a show’s first episode since intro’s are sometimes one of the most memorable parts of a show 

B) It’s a full musical number that’s been stuck in my head since the trailer for this series and has now set up an apartment there.  C) This series is a musical, if not to the same degree as the two plays before it, so it’d be weird NOT to talk about it’s signature song. 

So with that out of the way the intro.. is fucking impressive. Seriously taking disparate videos with probably as much as the directions “Sing this part of the song and be kind of creepy or alluring or whatever” and making it really flow? Good work, both to the starkids for bringing their a game to it as always and to Nick and Matt really did a good job   editing this together, musically and visually to be an abolute jawdrop. And somehow finding utterly stunning stock image animations that none of us realized were stock footage but still fit the tone perfectly. Just great stuff.  Some stray notes: Mariah is absolutely stunning in both voice and apperance in this, John Matheson’s bit as paul was great, and Jeff Blim of course got a great bit with his always astounding hair blowing in the breeze with him at full high pitch. Just an utterly great intro, and for Starkid’s first series in over a decade, and really ever but semantics, they really brought it. Good stuff. Onto the actual episode content. 

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man: Lucy, a british heiress played by Angela Giarratana, was saved by the legendary “Hatchefield Ape-Man”.. who apparently has a hyphen like spider-men because while sasquatches can do that. Point is she’s come back every year in the hopes of reuniting with her savior but has so far failed.  But as Lucy prepares to leave from this year’s failed expedition, an old friend finally gives her what she needs... old friend to us to her she’s just some grey haired lunatic who showed up out of the mist. Which while accurate, dosen’t quite quantify everyone’s favorite playwright/college professor/murderous psychopath/composer.

Yes at long last Professor Hidgens has returned! I honestly didn’t expect the anthology to bring in such a huge fan faviorite so soon. I mean I expected returning characters, mostly because the project allows old faviorites to come back for their own stories or for the stars of the musicals to get a chance at a much happier ending... there’s a lot of potetial there. That and let’s face it “Jane’s a Car” is a pretty dead giveaway it’s going to be about Tom’s dead wife and Tim’s dead mother coming back in horrible mash up of christine and my mother the car. Maybe. I could be wrong. I also doubt many of you know what my mother the car is and to that I say it’s an old sitcom i’m honestly suprised I know exists and know nothing about other than the title and it being about a son’s mom’s ghost possesing his car apparently. Well that and it was the basis for this. 

Point is, while I expected some returns, I wasn’t expecting one this large and this bombastic so soon, but BOY was it welcome.  So getting back on track after all that, HIdgens seemingly takes Lucy to meet her ape man, who goes by the name Klonk, played by everyone’s faviorite sexy caveman Joey Richter. Also it’s adorable he and Lauren share a streaming screen. I know practicality and all that but their engagment is genuinely a sweet thing to hear about at a time when the world’s going down the toilet fast. Fun Fact: I pegged the Ape-Man was either going to be Jeff or Joey, leaning towards Jeff, though given my love of Joey I wasn’t disapointed with him, especially with the twist... but I was EXASTIC to learn the answer was basically “Both.. kinda?”. But yeah Lucy soon bonds with the ape man, with HIdgens encouraging her since it’s more than he’s gotten out of Klonk in 11 months of looking after the guy, and this way they can get him to learn enough to decide what he wants for himself. 

So a few months, and some romantic bonding between woman and ape-man, pass but a wrench is thrown into Klonk’s wooing and attempt to tell lucy he loves her: Jonathan, Lucy’s just now mentioned fiance and royal dickhead played by Kurt Mega. And credit where it’s do whlie he clearly didn’t have to dress up, he did have a nice 50′s monster movie british person suit he put on.  Lucy is now conlficted and what not even though Jonathan is kind of an asshole who just wants to drag her back home. And i’ts not like Lucy didn’t keep in touch: she sent him texts and probably called, so i’ts not like he didn’t know she was here. He’s also a hunter for extra dick points as if he needed them.  Naturally when meeting his romantic rival he’s a dick.. but raises some valid questions: While Hidgens claim he shaved Konk due to lesions, there’s no mark of lesisons or the shaving. But his natural dickheadedness shines through and Jonathan talks about shooting Klonk before lucy takes his ring off and throws it and Jonathan goes after her.  Annnnd yeah turns out the disposable dickhead fiance for once is RIGHT. In a twist I did not remotley see coming but damn if it wasn’t clever, Klonk.. is Ted from TGWDLM and the plan was to seduce lucy with this con, marry her and then bump her off. It’s a hell of a twist and cleverly hidden since Joey’s such a starkid mainstay, it’s not a huge suprise he was Klonk and thus easily hid the fact he was also Ted. It’s clever stuff and pivots the story nicely. 

Ted is naturally a douchey as ever, going along with Hidgen’s plan to have him marry lucy then kill her and take her dough for themselves.. and unsuprisingly, so Hidgens can get Workin Boys off the ground. Granted there are easier ways to do this with the same scooby doo scheme: Just have HIdgens plan working boys casually, have Klonk really love it and being the sweetheart she is LUcy would fiance the thing just to make them both happy. I mean he can still marry her and ted can still have direct acess to her money if they want, it’s just an easier way that dosen’t shine supscion on the caveman who looks exactly like a local douchebag who everyone he’s met would testify against him. I mean would Paul and Bill REALLY be that suprised that Ted did this? 

Exactly. Then again neither of our “heroes’ Here is very bright, and this scheme only works because Lucy is clearly very sweet, very naive, and very much wants a romantic evening with an ape man after all this time and effort searching, so she wants to believe him. So the fact the best they could come up with is something out of Scooby Doo is unsuprisng but still great.  However things take a turn for the

Pretty quick as Hidgens takes disposable british douche fiance hunting.. then kills the guy after freely admiting he’s a fraud in what’s an INCREDIBLY chilling scene. Seriously it’s amazing how Robert takes a character as loveably redicilous, even his evil and murderous plan during TGWDLM was still hilariously rediclous, and makes him UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Even when dropping my fair lady refrences. Amazing stuff.  So the next day, after Konk “asks” what an engagment is and what not, we then get Lucy wondering just WHERE jonathan is and we get the second biggest laugh of the night as Hidgens gives us the iconic line of “Oh he left... said something about you being crazy and going back to london and basically to go fuck yourself. “. Naturally Lucy has followup questions and goes to find out while Ted, also naturally, isn’t exactly pleased when he finds out his partner in crime did a murder on someone. 

Ted may be a sleazy dickhead.. but even he sees maybe murdering a rich british person who just came here, went basically ONLY to this one location, and whose probably got many people who will misss him, one of whom is their primary target, is kinda dumb. Then again this is a plan that hinges on someone who could easily be identified, as he has or at least probably had an office job and three coworkers who know him, assuming a false identity to marry someone for their money. But again we’re dealing with a guy who thinks working boys is marketable to anyone who isn’t a starkid, and a moron who soon says he does his best thinking while erect. They only got this far because their target REALLY wants to fuck a sasquatch, is sweet but naive and well Ted IS still joey richter, and no longer has the porn stache so there you go.  Ted decides to cut Hidgens out of things.. partly because you know, he killed a person, and partly because instead of killing Lucy, Ted realized he honeslty has a LOT to gain by simply marrying her and staying married. He gains a hot rich wife (his word’s not mine, but angie is genuinely beautiful so fair point), a mansion, and while Hidgens points out the obvious, he has to stay Konk.. that’s actually appealing to Ted as he feels better as Konk, not just because he impresses an attractive woman for doing basic stuff, but because he feels better as Konk. This is.. an intresting turn for Ted i genuinely like. It shows that Ted may, as much as he presents with bluster and ego, actually LIKE the kind of shithead he knows he is. I mean looking at his life he has two workmates who calling them friends is a bit of a stretch, and one who he’s having an affair with but seems detemrined to make her doomed marriage to an even bigger asshole work. He really dosen’t have much as ted so it’s easy to see why being Konk is better: He’s a better person as him who actually has someone who cares about him.  Naturally Hidgens takes this as well as you’d expect and when Ted/Konk tries proposing he goes with the logical option for taking the fourtune for himself:

Yes really. Hidgens strips naked, and swings his arms around like an orangutan to try and convince Lucy he’s the real hatchetfield apeman. Sadly this dosen’t mean we get a shirtless robert manion as he needs to keep the turtleneck on for later, but the mental image.. I had to pause the video for a good minute to laugh over it. Just everything about it from it somehow being a dumber plan than his scheme this episode, to the orangutan swaying to just.. everything. It’s fucking genius.  But Higdens has more than a mighty penis to compete with Ted.. he reveals ted’s phone and Ted ends up revealing himsef by telling Hidgens to go fuck himself. Naturally Lucy is distraught and tries to leave and the professor pulls out his shotgun to threaten her into financing his musical because of course it’s about workin boys. Lucy tries to run, Hidgens tries to shoot.. and ted , doing the first good thing in his entire life, takes the bullet.  Lucy gets ted out of there then locks the door behind them, and we get the SCARIEST bit in this segment as Hidgens leans into the camera, simulating the peep hole of the vault door to the ape man inclosure and begs her to let him out. It’s some real Jack Nicholson in the Shining stuff and it’s utterly terrifying, but it’s also an amazing bit of acting. Nice job Rob.  So ted bleeds out, as much as Lucy wants to save him he knows he’s not going to make it and prefers to die as Konk, finally happy with himself. And I just realized everyone at Paul’s job is horribly miserable. I mean good god, Paul himself has serious depression issues judging by “Let it Out”, Ted clearly hates himself, Charlotte is in a horrible marriage and Bill just got out of one and has a strained realtionship with his daughter we’ll get into more in a bit. I mean honestly, Mr. Davidson is the only one of them who really dosen’t need therapy.. he just needs to tell his wife he wants her to choke him while he jerks off. For as ungodly hilarious as that line is he’s probably the most well adjusted person there. Go figure. 

Naturally being already insane, Hidgens breaks out, still naked mind, and chases after Lucy. Also noticable is apparently some people thought hidgens was manipulated by the blue shit hive mind in TGWDLM. Which.. no. I do love the guy dont’ get me wrong.. but it was very obvious both from the way his musical number was done compared to the rest of the ones in the musical, and his actions that was entirely him, and his playing the music was so he could join, especially since we don’t see the hive mind use any mind manupluation on anyone else. Regular manipulation sure as seen with you tied up my heart and not your seed, manipulating charoltte into freeing her asshole husband so he could infect her and torturing bill for funsies. Just something to get out of the way. Point is he was always crazy we just now have him chasing an innocentish woman with his dong hanging out to prove it.  He eventually catches her as Lucy catches herself in one of his bear traps when she hits the woods, because he had those for some reason.. and he has a resonable way out: Just give her the 30,000 dollars he needs for his musical. Thing is she dosen’t have the money.. or hardly any. She spent all of it trying to find the ape man and was marrying jonathan for his money and him for her title. And while it is a bit skeezy, it’s very clear both were using each other and likely knew it, and Lucy still comes out the most moral of our cast here.. granted it’s not a big stretch as hidgens is criminally insane, ted’s a skeeze and Jonathan.. well he’s just a diiiiiiccckkkk. It’s not hard is what i’m saying.. much like hidgen’s dick flopping around in the rain. But yeah he dosen’t take it well, Lucy goes up a tree, which is apparently something Becky did once. But before Lucy can die at the hands of a naked thespian, the REAL Ape-Man shows up and tears Hidgen’s arms off, taking lucy in his own arms afterwords and revealing he remembers her. The two hit it off instantly, it turns out his name is chumby in an excellent gag as that was what Hidgens wanted his fake ape man to be named but Ted froze, and go off into the night together. Awww.. what if a naked ape man played by my boy jeff blim and a british person can’t work who can? 

We then close out the segment with a cameo appearance by Jamie Lynn Beatty, who while not part of the cast for this double feature, does get a fun showtune about the ape man. Also fun fact that i found out here on tumblr: That costume is from something Jamie did in HIGH SCHOOL. As in well over a decade ago. Like holy shit, good for her. She looks great in it. But yeah it’s a fun song and a nice way to close it out.  Final Thoughts on the Hatchetfield Ape-Man: This was a great way to start things off. This one was more in line with starkids pre-hatchetfield work, a goofy story with some hidden depth inside. And like the guy who didn’t like musicals it was utterly terrifying in spots so yeah good stuff ,utterly hilarous and a great way to bring back some old faviorites while giving us a neat new protaganist. Good stuff. 

Watcher World:

Now from a mostly comedy with a horrifying ending to just.. pure unfiltered horror and depression! It’s Watcher World! Bill and Alice are back! And given I love Mariah Rose Faith and Corey Dorris, I was exastic to find this was what the second segment was about.. mostly because I had no idea Starkid had teasers for the episodes on their instagram, or I would’ve known Hidgens was coming. I wouldn’t of known he’d be stark naked for the last third of his story but still, pleasant surprise.

So Bill and Alice are spending the day at Watcher World, a run down amusement park on the edge of town. It’s Alice’s last weekend before College so Bill’s trying to reconnect with her by cramming a good old fashioned family vacation down her throat. Alice is less than enthused, both because she clearly resents her dad in general, and because Deb is throwing a huge rager on the same night. My honest interpretation of that is that Deb fully inteded for her girlfriend to come but Bill sprung this on Alice at the last minute and being pretty oblivious and hating Deb, either didn’t care about taking alice from one last night with her friends and girlfriend or didn’t generally think that through. I mean don’t get me wrong normally i’d side with a parent not wanting their daughter to attend a huge teen rager on their last weekend together.. but it’s also Alice’s last weekend in town for some time, and it’s likely a saturday.. so he has another day, and presumibly had friday before this and while things with his ex wife are tense, fighting for an extra day with her would be understandable and i’ts not like Alice, even if she hates Bill, would really fight him on getting an extra day in the town she didn’t want to leave. 

But that’s what I really like about this one that it’s layered. While Alice is slightly more in the right, she’s still shutting her dad out, refusing to let him follow her on instagram (though he does agree with her keeping it private as he dosen’t want Ted perving on her, which tracks, or Ted’s brother doing it which.. wait what?), and being on her phone the whole time to very clearly spite him and rub how much she dosen’t want to be there in her dad’s face. She dosen’t WANT to be at watcher world but instead of trying to talk to her Dad just wants to complain and apparenlty has on all their vacations.. it’s easy to see why Bill is annoyed by his daughter at times and thinks he has to FORCE HER to have fun with him, because otherwise she’d gladly ignore him for their entire weekends together for Deb. She’s so determined to punish her dad for the divorce, that she refuses to see on some level he IS trying, and is just sad about her leaving, and possibly leaving him forever and alone with nothing else in his life but his buddy Paul, whose getting married next week so that’s probably not helping.  On the other hand the reason I say Alice is more in the right is that well.. Bill’s a grown ass men. And while, speaking for himself, grown ass men don’t always make the right decisions, and not speaking for myself neither do fathers... Alice’s acting out is understandable coming from an 18 year old whose been through hell over the last year, having her parents divorce being forced to move, loosing her friends. Bill however just kind of uses her age and angst as an excuse to undermine and belittle her feelings. Because he doesn’t like deb for the very stupid reasons of she does pot, instead of assuring her that Deb wouldn’t cheat on Alice with Deb’s former crush Zigg, starkid’s first non binary character in a nice show that Nick Lang wasn’t just covering his ass when he said there’d be more representation in starkid, which in his defense I didn’t doubt him on but it’s still nice he did so at the earliest opportunity and very clearly plans to use Zigg if he can find a nonbinary actor for them. 

But yeah instead of assuring his daughter, Bill is just like “well sometimes relationships don’t work out” which while true is clearly his self serving way of trying to get Alice to break up with someone he dosen’t like. INstead of supporting her in her dreams of writing plays, one of which was good enough to get her a scholarship, he tries to act like she has no plans for her future and get her to be a doctor for more security, even though having a secure job has done.. no one at his office including him favors. I mean again, the most stable and happy person at the office is the guy in charge, and even he can’t tell his wife he wants her to choke him out at night. He wants her to choke him, he wants her to choke him while he jerks off, he wants her to choookeeee himmm while heeeee jerrrkssss offfff. 

While part of this seems to be that Deb plans to be a starving artist who can mooch off her parents in a pinch, Alice GENUINELY seems to have a full plan for her life. I do get his worrying about her future.. but she’s a smart kid. A bit of a brat but she knows what she wants clealry and clearly has talent. He’s just projecting his own fears on her. He also refuses to accept any responsibility in the divorce.. his hating his ex wife IS valid, as she took his daughter away, uprooted her life a year before graduation and spends gobs of money on impressive outings, the latter two seemingly just to spite him when honestly, it’d of made more sense for Alice to stay with Bill for the year before she graduates and been better for her. However, Bill still doesn’t take responsibly that he too is shoving fun down her throat to try and win her over, hates her girlfriend and refuses to treat her with any respect, and really DOSEN’T know Alice all that well. As we learn during their fun day she has anxiety, and he never knew about it. And the divorce isn’t really an excuse when he had years before that.  It’s the real problem of their relationship: Bill feels ENTITLED to a good father daughter relationship, but isn’t working at it and blames his ex wife or Alice for it instead of himself. While Alice isn’t an innocent as i’ve made clear, putting up walls and not telling dad things, given bill ignores her when she DOES try to tell him about her life, it’s easy to see she’s just given up. If he won’t listen why bother. Which yeah i’ve found myself there with my own dad from time to time. Bill’s not a bad person, he genuinely loves Alice, as he says “to the moon and back”, but it’s very clear from this outing he still loves the little girl who loved him unconditionally and not the complicated and mopey adult sh’es become, and dosen’t WANT to adapt to that and fears once she leaves for college she’ll avoid him for good, which isn’t unfounded. It’s a good, complex rich dynamic.  Naturally with.. all this I covered up front instead of sprinkling it throughout, the day doesn’t go great, with Alice utterly miserable most of the time, and ending up in a goofy novelty t-shirt due to a log ride. She also has an unsettling encounter with park mascot Blinky, our newest adorable abomination, who not only shows up the moment she does something bad on camera but also stares at her ass, which.. Paul you mind coming back for a second?

Thank you. They end up at the Watch Party, a cheesy kids show musical because Bill apparently equates this with his daughter loving musicals. I mean granted cheesy kids stage shows can be rad just listen to this. 

But I get Alice’s annoyance here. Thus we get the return of the sniggles, who apparently serve whatever eldrich deity is around this week and our first song of this segment, The Blinky Song. Which is catchy as hell as well as hilariously dark (”I’m so hungry”), and uses the stock footage well, as I could buy a cheap theme park ran by an eldtirch eye goblin using stock footage. But yeah it establishes Blinky as always watching and kinda fucked up.  Also the sniggles are now clearly the smurgs with Angie’s now being named Sniglette, Jeff being papa Sniggle and James being Snigglotts. However Sniglette considers leaving with another song with a long string of words. Then, things get.. dark as the rest of the sniggles don’t want her to leave and try and mob her, and then Papa Sniggle accidently wings her with a mallet and apparenlty injures the actual performer, before everyone’s ushered out and the usher pretends nothing happened. Good mind screw horror stuff. 

Alice and Bill then bicker a bit with my above point being made as Alice TRIES to get Bill to accept some respoinablity but he refuses and blames her mom. It’s now time for the Tear-Jerker, the reason they came. Bill’s buddy Paul says someone died. They also find three other people waiting in line and when one goes to the bathroom the other two start making out which.. yeah, dosen’t help Alice’s worry Deb’s going to cheat on her. So she takes the first single rider pass she can, with Bill worming his way in as to not let her get away.  The two naturally end up fighting on the Tear-Jerker before it stops up high, and ends up stalled, with the gloriously returning Nerdy Kid played by Joey from Black Friday being as helpful as usual. Seriously bless them for bringing him back. Man in a Hurry also showed up again, bless him too. Alice picks this time to reveal her fear of heights and anxiety, and an approaching storm isn’t helping. So Bill.. steps up. He helps ease Alice down taking her phone for her, if loosing it due tot he rain and helping her stay calm. It’s a REALLY nice portrayal of an anxiety attack, with Mariah herself apparently having them and thus portraying it really well. As someone who has them myself it really hits home and Bills calm attempts to help her are really heartwarming, getting her to describe her musical for him and the two bonding. It’s genuinely sweet.  But.. it can’t last, as Alice freaks out about her phone and Bill for once is in the right, as .. he was you know.. trying to save his daughter having a panic attack, and really stepped up given he was obnovious she had anxiety in the first place, and managed it well. He then gives the utterly heart stomping line “I love you to the moon and back, but sometime’s it’s really hard to like you. “

Just damn. So Alice runs off and both find their way to the fairway. Bill tries winning a doll for Alice, getting into a test of strength where he fails repedatly and is constantly mocked by the barker, played by James Tolbert who also played Blinky.. 

That should be Tolbert’s twitter handle. Anyway point is, Bill keeps trying even as he wracks up 400 dollars in credit card debt, for a 49.95 doll, before eventually the barker and hte crowd’s jeers get to be too much and he does smack it hard, thinking of all of his pent up rage towards alice.. just as the bell at the top takes the shape of alice’s head and explodes.  Bill is naturally horrified by this by the barker assures he loves him.. and that he should totally hobble his daughter misery style to make her not leave him and use the mallet for it.  Meanwhile Alice is at the shooting Gallery not wanting the blinky doll she wins, just blowing off steam when she runs into an old crone played by Lauren Lopez. But this Crone has her phone... which suspiciously has a ton of instagram photos of Deb and Zigg making out while sharing a toke. Granted Deb COULD’VE cheated, but given Alice is insecure, and her phone was given back to her by a witch working for an eye goblin.. yeah maybe just maybe Deb was loyal, and if she wasn’t wouldn’t be dumb enough to put it on instagram. But given Alice is already worked up it’s easy enough for her to beliive that her relationships in danger and if she gets there in time she can stop it and oh look her gun is now a real gun and can help her get the keys.  So yeah it’s time for a creepy as hell Shining-esque showdown, but if both sides were possesed instead of one. It’s.. a CHILLING as hell scene, not helped by Alice wielding a gun again as both fight. I was gripped the entire time and don’t have much to say utter than HOLY SHIT THIS WAS AS TERRIFYING AS IT WAS RIVITING. 

But a crowd gathers as the fight continues.. all with purple eyes which ave been seen on and off, watchers with a thousand eyes.. and with Blinky, now revealed NOT to be a costume probably, above them all. We also get one hell of a line.  “This is an amusement park but not for YOUR amusement.”

So yeah I love this sequence.. and Blinky as a villain. While it’s vague if he and Blinky  are the same entity.. I’m going with not. It’s not a stretch that like Cthulu, Wiggly has brothers in the black and white, with their own motives, methods and ability to get into our world. Unlike Wiggly.. Blinky’s already here and has no real ambition other than to find people to mentally tear apart and set loose on one another for his own amusement. He doesn’t have grand plans of burning the world.. he just wants to be entertained. It’s an interesting and chilling motive and I hope we see him again eventually. I also believe those at the park are trapped there bound after their own day there and trapped doing whatever Wiggly needs. Except maybe squeaky voiced teen. He probably just complains about cleaning up so much blood.  But yeah Blinky is very happy as the fight escalates into the hall of mirrors and Alice looses her gun.. with Bill now poised to strike down his daughter as the mirror reflects the various workers at the park, all encouraging him to kill her... it’s utterly terrifying as Bill’s eyes take on a purple tint.. and we get a POWERFUL use of the score and the “why does it hurt to love you’ bit from TGWDLM.. as Bill sees himself and what he’s about to do, sees his daughter understandably having a panic attack.. and calms her, his eyes returning and the two reconciling.  Of course Blinky isn’t happy about this “sappy bullshit” and brings htem into his domain, charging at them. But kinda missing that giving a pissed off teenager a rifle she knows how to use when you have a giant target for a face isn’t a good idea and she shoots him, with him bleeding a flood of purple goo that sends them out. While I doubt Winky’s dead, he is done with them.  Our story concludes on a sweeet note as the two find their car, and they finally make as tep forward, Bill having seen almost too late how selfish and controlling he was being and accepting his daughter on her phone.. and Alice realizing her need to open up and after checking Instagram, likely finding out those photo’s weren’t real, she throws her phone in the back.. but not before accepting her dad’s request, letting him in. Sure the road ahead is rough.. but the two have made a good first step towards repairing things and loving one another again in a healthy manner. and all it took  was bill nearly murdering her and allice shooting an eye goblin int he face and getting covered in his blood. Cue the credits, a beautiful song called “One Thousand Eyes” with Jeff Blim fucking nailing it. A great way to send off this bit.  Final Thoughts: This was the best one of the two. While Ape Man is really good too, this one took the darker tone of black friday, but with a tighter narrative. By focusing on a smaller cast, the darker elements really played better and the conclusion felt more satisfying.. though it helped that BOTH of these tails ended without everyone dying, and while I doubt EVERY story will have a happy ending, it makes things more interesting knowing that the heroes can get a happy ending this time around instead of an apocalypse. 

Overall Thoughts: This double feature was great, I’ll be getting a ticket to the next one if I can afford it, and if not i’ll see it presumably in December or next year when it comes on YouTube. Really excellent stuff.  So this was a first for me but if you’d like to see more starkid stuff from me, let me know in the comments or my askbox, commission me to review one of the musicals via dm, and if you liked how I did this review follow this blog for weekly ducktales and loud house coverage, and amphibia coverage when that returns, among more fun reviews. And until next time.. don’t blink. Play us out Jeff. 

I really hope this is the ending theme for the series. 

[probablyottrpgideas]

Tabletop Asks

In reference to the previous post: 1.) Game Master, Player or both? Why? 

I am currently lucky enough to be player in one game and DM in another (both 5e D&D), however ordinarily I am overwhelmingly the DM/GM. 

2.) When did you start role playing? How old were you? 

My first start with published tabletop adventures was actually quite late, in my second year of university when I was about 19, so 11 years ago now, with D&D 4e. However, I think my first freeform roleplaying experiences were with a mate of mine all the way back in primary school, where we had this quite extensive worldbuilding and characters. It was my first introduction to the idea that I wanted to be a writer.

3.) What was the first role playing book you ever owned? 

The 4e PHB, DMG and MM all at the same time. I had a job then, missed playing, decided “fuck it, I’ll start my own” and dived in.

4.) Describe the first game you ever ran or played in. 

A 4e Starters Box run on Keep on the Borderlands. I played a Dwarf Fighter out of the box, which I named Xzienne (which some of you know is my regular online handle). He was fun; in my oh-so-extra way, I kept my game notes as In-Character journal entries.

5.) Which system did you grow up with? 

D&D, all the way. Fourth edition and then Fifth, with a look at Third in between. But I’ve played about a dozen or two different systems all up.

6.) Which system do you play now? 

Predominantly 5e

7.) Longest campaign you’ve run or played in? 

My D&D “Empires Intelligence Services” campaign ran from 2016-2020.

8.) Where did you meet your current gaming group? 

I tend to throw my groups together from among various people I know from all over. My favourite group ever was the one formed entirely of cast members from our local theatre company production of Wicked.

9.) Strategic combat or dramatic plotlines? 

Does it need to be either/or? I feel like good drama gets you invested in the character’s outcomes, good combat (or puzzles or traps or whatever) gets you invested in the character’s actions. You want people to achieve their goals with emotional satisfaction but without just narrating to them; they need to feel involved in the process of making those goals come about. Challenges are not just there for the Power Gamers and the Slayers, they make the plotlines feel satisfying for everyone.

10.) Favorite RPG genre?

I love Science Fiction and I love Fantasy, and my own work so often smashes the two together. I write a lot of Contemporary/Urban Fantasy, and my D&D world is a magepunk magitech setting with spacefaring aircraft and so forth.

PLAYER CHARACTERS - Describe:

11.) Your first character. 

Xzienne the Dwarven Fighter, mentioned above. My first character I made though, on the other hand, not including NPCs, was much later. I think it was probably Tetsuo, my Shin-jin from a Dragonball RPG

12.) Your favorite character. 

Definitely Ortlinde. An Aasimar Witch who was the granddaughter of a Valkyrie, and was mad that the gods would be so callous as to bar her mother from Valhalla just because she wasn’t a warrior, and so tried to stage a coup against Asgard. Fuck she was cool.

13.) Your most ridiculous character. 

If not Ortlinde, then possibly Parian, my 13th Age Bard whose “One Unique Thing” (a 13th Age mechanic that I love) was that he could modify his spells on the fly by casting the verbal components as full poems, which I would write and perform in-session. I once got to add a Fear effect to a Thunderwave because I made it sound like the trumpets of judgement day, and I managed to cast Charm Person but with an allied player as the focus of the target’s charm by making the poem about their character.

14.) The best in-character line you’ve ever had. 

Not a lot of what other players have said have stuck with me, really. Possibly my favourite was Alice’s ranger in Castles and Crusades who said a whole lot of buckwild shit until my halfling begged her not to talk. 

Whereupon she shortly thereafter discovered a secret Dryad home inside a tree, and didn’t mention it to the party. When asked why?

“You told me not to talk.”

15.) Your most epic death. 

I haven’t died that often, to be honest. Probably the most memorable death was Parian, who got crushed in a moving wall trap and had to be scooped up in a bag and carried around as “bard soup” until a True Resurrection could be cast.

16.) Your most disappointing death. 

See above.

17.) Something that shouldn’t have worked, but did. 

Meliorn Metcalfe, Tiefling Spellbinder, orchestrating an ambush in a town square against the people who had been sending thugs to attack the party in their beds and stealing shit from the townsfolk. I set up traps (clay pots filled with caltrops and poison), used sunrods to blind the attackers while we had our backs to the light, and we greased the buildings around the area so that they couldn’t climb to safety. It went perfectly, even after they rocked up with a gargoyle.

18.) Something that went hilariously awry. 

Just recently I was playing in a Wildemount game which saw the party running Benny Hill style around an ancient lab from a Wight. In the process I got nearly killed by both flying knives and a very angry carpet.

19.) Your most memorable in-character moment. 

Ortlinde’s speech to Frigg, lambasting the Gods for their mistreatment of mortals. 

20.) The coolest item you ever got and how you came to possess it.

The Masque of Clavicus Vile, from the Elder Scrolls games, pulled from Niddhogr’s treasure hoard and buffing my Spell Save DC to 27 (including other stuff like class features for the Witch and another item which synergised with those). 

GAME MASTERS - Describe:

21.) Your favorite NPC and how the party reacted to him/her 

By far Celia Sapienza, Eladrin Kensai, who became the party Mum even though she was younger than a few of them. She’s now the head of the Empires Intelligence Services Northern Branch.

22.) A game you wish you could run or want to run someday. 

I’ve been eyeing off Dread, Skullduggery and Leverage for years, but I also recently got the Dishonoured game which looks sick as, and Blades in the Dark, and...

23.) Something you made up on the spot. 

So so much, but most recently I had a Marid sailor NPC who I had to improvise and entire story of his previous voyages. I did it in a Brian Blessed voice and the players, no shit, fucking applauded. 

24.) Your most successful game. 

The Wild Huntresses, finally figuring out who had killed the town alchemist and facing off against her and her pet Water Elemental in the caves beneath the hills. Such an epic game. God I miss that group.

25.) Your least successful game. 

Paranoia, but that’s just built into the premise.

26.) The craziest thing your players have ever done, and how it affected your plans. 

I had a player walk straight out the front doors of a castle under siege. I hit him with 2 dozen crossbow bolts. That guy was an asshole.

27.) Your favorite setting or game location. 

I massively love the idea of Eberron, and I love the MTG crossover settings like Ravnica and Theros. 

28.) Your creative process when you plan a game. 

Typically write about a page of notes for every 2-10 hours of gameplay, depending on the amount of combat expected. Things like important NPCs and what they want, where the party are expected to go in general terms and some ideas for things to throw at them when they inevitably wander off the path, that sort of thing. If it’s really plot important, though, I’ve been known to write pages and pages of lore and character info to hopefully seed into conversations. I also once wrote a full script that we did as a table read for a big conversation between a bunch of NPCs that the party were there to listen to but not be involved in. 

29.) The best / worst character concept you’ve ever heard. 

No character concept that fits within the rules is ever really bad, although sometimes the execution isn’t great. Some are very, very dumb, like say every character ever built or played by the asshole player I mentioned a few entries back.

30.) What makes GMing fun for you.

Players getting invested in the world and in each other’s stories. Nothing makes me feel better as a GM than being able to sit back while the players have a full in-character conversation with each other.

[khtrinityftw]

Part 0: Back Cover

The Kingdom Hearts series beyond Kingdom Hearts II is the most disappointing thing since my son. And the unfortunate reality of these games that they’ll be around… forever. They will never go away. They can never be undone.

There, I said the thing. It's out of the way. From this point onward, I will truly be doing things Plinkett-style, not Plinkett-copying.

First of all, I must go into some detail about what the Kingdom Hearts series was before its steady ruination. And to put it simply, it was the original trilogy of games: Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, and Kingdom Hearts II, known in some circles as the Kingdom Hearts Trinity due to a Japanese-exclusive box set calling it exactly that.

The idea behind the original Kingdom Hearts came in 1998, when Squaresoft and Disney of Japan shared an office building. After a chance meeting between a Square employee and a Disney employee in an elevator, the notion that they should make an RPG video game together naturally arose. After all, just a few years back Square had worked with Nintendo, the Disney equivalent in the video game industry, to create Super Mario RPG to great acclaim, so they had already proven themselves as a worthy collaborator. 

And speaking of Mario, renowned Square artist Tetsuya Nomura had been enamored with the style of Super Mario 64 ever since he had played it, and desperately wanted to create a game that was similar to it. When he heard his current boss, Shinji Hashimoto, talking about the Disney crossover project, Nomura realized that this was the chance he was looking for to create a Super Mario 64-caliber game and begged to be put in charge of it. Hashimoto agreed, and in 1999 the project officially began and was called Kingdom Hearts.

While Nomura proved to be the right person for the job, it can't be stressed enough that it was a collaborative job. Nomura couldn't just run wild doing whatever he wanted: his ideas were constantly filtered and fine-tuned by other people around him from both companies. His idea of having a original character designed by him as the hero as opposed to Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck was an excellent one, but originally he had that hero as a half-human, half-lion hybrid whose weapon resembled a chainsaw! It was only due to Disney's good sense that this didn't go through, and we ultimately got the boy dressed in Mickey Mouse colors wielding a giant key we all know.

The story wasn't all done by him either. After writing the basic outline, he had Jun Akiyama flesh it out into a scenario script, with Akiyama also being in charge of directing all the event cutscenes and giving them their cinematic style. Then he got Daisuke Watanabe to rewrite the bulk of the game, all the way up to Hollow Bastion, into something slightly dramatically heavier along the lines of a Final Fantasy game, and then Kazushige Nojima wrote a new final act for the game, featuring a new final world and new final boss. And through this process, the brilliant Keiko Nobumoto of Cowboy Bebop fame supervised and had the last say on the final draft of the story. 

With such a great writing team, there was no way that the story could be anything but a bulls-eye, and it remains the best-written one in the series to this day. It's simple while also being deep, it's fun and light-hearted while also being dark and scary, it's intellectually stimulating and emotionally riveting, it's chock full of the magic of Disney and the RPG excellence of Square. It's everything you could ever ask for in such a game.

By the time the game was completed, Nomura already had ideas for a sequel. In the special international edition of the game, called the "Final Mix", he even worked in a new optional boss fight and secret ending FMV to tease those ideas. The game's enormous success in the US officially caused the sequel to be greenlit, and it was in the first production meeting for Kingdom Hearts II that Chain of Memories, a Gameboy Advance game that would bridge the gap between the PS2 installments, was also greenlit. So while they are two games, Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts II were made simultaneously as part of one singular project dedicated to continuing and completing the story that Kingdom Hearts had begun.

Nomura's outline for Chain of Memories was very brief and basic, amounting to Sora, Donald and Goofy going to Castle Oblivion, having their memories messed with by Namine on the orders of Organization XIII, and then going to sleep to have their memories restored by Namine after they set her free. It was Daisuke Watanabe who wrote the scenario script and fleshed it out into something much more substantial, psychological and gripping.

By contrast, Nomura's outline for Kingdom Hearts II was far more complex and ambitious than any of his previous endeavors. He actually crafted a complete story with a beginning, middle and end, full of dark existential themes, shocking twists and turns, elaborations on the world and lore of the series, profound character growth, and a conclusive finale that wrapped just about everything up. And while Masaru Oka and Kazushige Nojima failed to completely do it justice in their execution of it, and there was no supervision from someone like Keiko Nobumoto meaning that it was kind of a mess, the base plot Nomura created was strong enough to endure and shine through to make the game a memorable experience that is cherished by many to this day.

This trilogy of games, especially when taken as their "Final Mix" editions (in COM's case, a full 3D remake that came packaged with KH2's Final Mix), tell one continuous, coherent saga about Sora, Donald and Goofy searching to reunite with their lost friends while saving the universe from the threat posed by Xehanort, who exists as both a Heartless, Ansem, and a Nobody, Xemnas (with the latter especially emerging as the trilogy's primary overarching threat.)  And it was THIS saga that so many fell in love with and hold so dear to their hearts. Nothing more was ever needed. The series either could have gone on to evolve with new adventures to follow or it could have just ended right there; either outcome would have been fine.

But that's not what ended up happening. You see, by the end of KH2's production Nomura had it firmly in his head that the following game should be a prequel to the trilogy, heavily inspired by Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith which had come out earlier that year and that Nomura had clearly seen and enjoyed. And while that's actually a great idea in theory: give Sora and his friends a break after bringing their story to such a definite closure and explore the past of this series' world....in execution, it was a mortal blow to the series that no-one saw coming.

And now I really get to let my inner Plinkett out...

[astracola]

so because a3 is still relatively new (locally at least) i wanted to do a small introduction post to introduce my muses from it! i haven’t dropped in any headcanons (yet) so this’ll just be basic early game canon or character traits i think are neat. deadass i’m out here with half the cast i don’t know why i’m like this either frankly.

AZUMA YUKISHIRO

one of the oldest members of the company, likely in his early thirties. somehow manages to “defy aging” with his makeup skills and natural beauty.

he is fully aware of how pretty he is, thank you for asking.

a big brother to all.

gentle, easygoing, and calm, even in crisis or under stress.

have you met a professional cuddler. now you have.

noted to have an alluring personality and high sex appeal, because that’s great. likes to flirt a lot, and is very direct. says things that he definitely probably shouldn’t.

not much is known about his past, even among those in the company and his own troupe (winter), he keeps it this way intentionally. it’s implied he might have once been a host, as when he left his prior work to pursue acting, his clients were devastated.

skilled at poker and similar card games.

ITARU CHIGASAKI

what’s up gamers.

prince archetype. even within the major company he works for as an elite employee, he’s well respected/regarded. feels refreshing and calming to be around.

very, very handsome. like holy shit.

“two modes”. the professional look he gives for his work and in public--and the exact mode that give him his prince-like associations, and how he is in private. his public persona is mostly facade, though his compassion and caring nature is genuine. his “true self” is a hardcore gamer and otaku, like this, he curses more frequently and comes off rude or lazy.

he likes to keep these two personas separate, understandably. with most personal relationships, he holds everyone at a distance.

he works in finances, and not much is known about his passion for acting or if he has much of one at all. regardless of this, he’s a member of the spring troupe.

he often uses gaming and internet terms in his speech, especially in his “casual/gamer” mode.

to him, mankai is where he can truly be himself.  

KAZUNARI MIYOSHI

voted most likely to quote vines irl. a literal influencer. always on top of the latest trends

a member of the summer troupe, he assumes he’s friends with everyone he meets--no questions asked, even if they come off rather abrasive. great social skills! he talks to anyone and everyone like he’s known them for years, so he’s easy to get along with.

a graphic design student, he makes the fliers for mankai. his skill is in illustration, and he has just as much passion for it as he does with acting.

you literally can NOT say he isn’t fashionable. that’s his shtick.

lowkey (but highkey) flirty with anyone he’s interested in. you know. casual.

despite his carefree attitude, he chooses his words carefully to leave those he meets with the best impression of him. he thinks so long as he befriends people, things are fine, even if a lot of those friendships are shallow at their best.

you get a nickname! and YOU get a nickname! and yo-

updates his social media daily and often. instagram, twitter, line, etc.

MASUMI USUI

a member of the spring troupe, he only joined up with mankai because he fell in love with the director in a moment of “love at first sight”. obviously, this isn’t requited. he does everything he can to try and impress her, despite having little interest in acting itself.

a bit of a “bad boy” trope, a rebel and troublemaker. he’s standoffish and rude to practically everyone else.  comes across as cold and indifferent.

good at memorization! this comes in handy with their scripts.

his parents travel abroad often, so his family life is ... questionable, he has little restrictions at home and lives a carefree lifestyle, which feeds into his indifference

has a lot of female fans AND a fanclub at school thanks to his looks. he doesnt care for that shit at all tbqh.

he flirts ... a lot ... if he’s interested in you romantically ... but so far that’s only directed AT the director herself and it’s embarrassing. lovesick puppy.

i’m so sorry for him and anyone that tries to talk to him he’s kind of a dick.

MISUMI IKARUGA

honestly the definition of “bro i am just vibing.”

hard to understand, just a generally confusing person. not much is known about him or his past! he just sort of...showed up one day, crashing in the mankai dorms and becoming a member of the summer troupe shortly after.

his physical capabilities are really impressive, up to and including scaling walls and running up to ceilings. he took to acting really easily as well, and his skill in it surprised almost everyone. his wide range in characters and how easily he shifts into them implies past experience.

constantly thinking about triangles, and collects everything in a triangle shape, eats triangle food...you know how it is. the local children have dubbed him the “triangle-alien!”

enthusiastic and eccentric are the best words to describe him.

he just kind of does whatever he feels like doing, seemingly without much thought. this includes: trespassing, and stealing stuff from others (usually food). just right out of your hands.

really good at communicating with animals! it seems they have a mutual understanding.

hardcore parkour

MUKU SAKISAKA

baby (professionally diagnosed).

his motto is deadass “do one good deed each day” he is a BABY

memorizes and treasures shoujo manga, taking the male figures as inspirations. he deeply admires princes and wants to become prince-like one day.

modest, kind, and easily flustered when it comes to praise. also a lot of anxiety? he thought one of the other summer troupe members was a ghost out to get him when it was first suggested and he really thought it was because he left a single grain of rice on his plate when he was five. he’s just like this.

persecution complex.

just really...pure...

he used to do track and field, but he wasn’t passionate about it despite being the team’s ace. he only joined because he read a manga where the protagonist was on track, so he followed in his footsteps. he only quit after an injury he sustained that forever kept him from performing at his best ever again.

can recite fairytales from memory!

SAKUYA SAKUMA

sunshine embodied, the leader of mankai’s spring troupe! he was the first member of mankai, and despite his lack of skill he’s incredibly passionate about acting. he puts all of himself in everything he does. super ambitious!! 

:) auditioned because of family issues, you know how it goes. ( he’s an orphan, and his new family was only really interested in what mankai could bring them, rather than his own interests.)

open and honest to a fault, he also tends to be a bit naive. he’s trying his best to be a little more independent, but that’s a long process. otherwise enthusiastic, easygoing, and positive, gets along well with pretty much everyone!

naturally lucky! give him your phone for gacha pulls.

skilled at remembering faces and names!

he still carries the script for romeo & julius, the first play the mankai company ever performed. he looks at it if he ever feels lonely, as the company feels like a family to him.

would really like to play a ruthless villain in the future, because that’s so different from what he actually is.

TAICHI NANAO

i assign you with “puppy”. a member of the autumn troupe, he has a very hyperactive personality! one of his biggest aspirations is to be popular and liked/noticed by others.

a prime example of this are his yo-yo skills and hyper origami, at the peak of their popularity he took to trying to master both, but by the time he had no one was interested anymore, and he felt horribly defeated.

his first dose of minor fame came from a minor acting role with his classmates, whose admiration he gained for his skill. ever since, he’s been trying to get this level of attention back ever since.

very in-the-know when it comes to the latest trends, because of this! fashion, past times, you name it.

needs recognition as a way to validate himself, to an unhealthy degree. he’s easily discouraged when met with criticism or when given a role he has little confidence in.

noisy and generally upbeat, and maintains an optimistic attitude despite his own lack of self-confidence.

TENMA SUMERAGI

essentially raised in the world of acting, he’s a former child prodigy who still stars in programs outside of the company.

because both of his parents are movie stars, and because of his own past, he has great faith in his abilities and hates to lose. high confidence to the point of being a bit egotistical.

“oresama” trope. his cocky attitude has gotten him into a bit of trouble with his fellow actors. as a result, prior to joining the mankai company, he didn’t have a lot of friends.

leader of the summer troupe, becoming a part of the troupe has forced him to learn to humble himself and learn to empathize. at the same time, he joined the company to overcome his weakness in performing in front of live audiences. in film, the mistakes can be edited, live? there’s a chance to disappoint the audience, and worse yet, his parents. he wants to overcome this fear and grow to be a better actor.

no sense of direction, despite his protests. also easily frightened when it comes to “scary things.” think of the classics: ghosts, abandoned places, etc.

really wants to play the role of a “bad guy” to expand his horizons, he’s often placed in cool or suave roles on tv.

TSUMUGI TSUKIOKA

the gentle, soft-spoken leader of the winter troupe! he’s said to take on his grandmother’s personality, often playing the mediator when it comes to conflict and holds a great desire for harmony

extremely!! empathetic!! to a fault, because of his empathy and sensibility, it seeps into his confidence, making him doubt himself and his own abilities--especially with acting. he’s not all that assertive either, as a result.

the mankai company is helping him grow, nowadays, he has a little more faith in himself, though he’s still rather shy.

dabbled in acting before back in university before reigniting the spark with mankai. he withdrew after intense criticism and watching his fellow theater students pass by him in ability, and it led to an intense falling out with a childhood friend (said friend is now also a part of the winter troupe)

psychology major and part-time tutor

really fucking good at rock paper scissors

he has a passion for gardening, thanks to his grandmother. he understands the language of flowers and often takes care of them.

[thedeaditeslayer]

Bruce Campbell Calls Hosting ‘Ripley’s Believe It Or Not’ A ‘No-Brainer,’ Pans Hollywood’s Lack Of Originality.

This interview includes a hint of more “Evil Dead” but for what we would like you to consider is to take it with a grain of salt. The interview covers various topics but mostly Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

Over the course of his storied career, actor Bruce Campbell has brought to life many memorable, colorful characters. As the definitive character-actor-trapped-in-a-leading-man’s-body, he’s portrayed Elvis in the campy Bubba Ho-Tep, Ronald Reagan in Fargo, Sam Axe in Burn Notice, and is, perhaps, best known as the Deadite-killing Ash Williams in Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead franchise.

As the Travel Channel prepares to relaunch Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!, Campbell finds himself in the role of host, introducing us to a fresh round of the spectacular and amazing. Over the course of 10 episodes, he’ll invite viewers on a journey to explore the lives of people capable of incredible things.

“Shooting this iconic series in the Ripley’s warehouse was actually unbelievable,” said Campbell. “I was blown away by the treasures that unveil a fascinating time capsule into the past and present. Fans are not going to be disappointed when they see the scope of wonderful and weird stories we reveal every week.”

Bruce Campbell was groovy enough to get on the phone with me and talk about his new gig with the Ripley’s relaunch, the fates of some of his iconic characters, and the lack of originality in Hollywood — all with the grace to forgive my fanboying.

Kevin Tall: Hey Bruce! I appreciate you taking some time to talk to me.

Bruce Campbell: I happened to be in the neighborhood so I thought I’d step in.

KT: I usually make an effort to at least pretend to be professional but I’m not sure I’m going to pull it off today.

BC: That’s exactly right.

KT: I do want to say it’s an honor to talk to you and I promise I’ll do my best to keep my inner fanboy in check.

BC: Very good.

KT: Can I call you ‘El Jefe’?

BC: Whatever you’d like, sir.

KT: Groovy. Alright. So, coming soon to a cable network near you, you’re hosting the newest incarnation of ‘Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!’ on the Travel Channel. How did you come to be attached to the project?

BC: Things come across the old desk, you know, and you evaluate them. And this was a no-brainer. I still have the Ripley’s book, the red cloth-covered book with those strange illustrations of people doing crazy stuff inside. As a kid, I had it on a shelf so I’m like, ‘Yeah I know Ripley’s.’

And I haven’t done a show like this in a while; I’ve hosted stuff. Back in Detroit, I got my Screen Actor’s Guild card doing training films for industrials, for Chrysler, and some of the other companies. Now I’m back doing it again, so here I am… I guess, showing people, in this case, it’s not about the cross-section of a Chrysler car seat but people doing extraordinary things.

KT: Ah, cool. Part of me thought this revival of Ripley’s could have just been a thinly-veiled attempt at revenge on Dean Cain for stealing the television role of Superman out from under your chin in the 90s.

BC: No, no revenge necessary on Mr. Cain. I see him at conventions all the time.

KT: While I do feel you have the superior jawline, I was a huge fan of ‘The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.’ There have been several Supermen but there was only one Brisco County. Er, two, if you count his dad.

BC: Anyone can play Superman.

KT: Would you ever consider reprising the role of Brisco?

BC: Brisco would be fine. You could do Brisco Rides Again. He started as a lawyer and then someone has to get killed. I’ll put the spurs back on, sure.

KT: So I got to see a screener of the first episode of Ripley’s. I have an idea if you’re open to suggestion.

BC: OK.

KT: Do a follow up in which you balance on a slack line while swallowing a sword and someone throws playing cards at you from a ladder balanced on someone else’s chin.

BC: [Laughs] I think you’ve got it. I think you should work for the Travel Channel.

KT: So your parts were shot on location at the Ripley’s warehouse in Orlando.

BC: Yes, yes, we shot at THE warehouse.

KT: Did you get to see anything amazing or… unbelievable?

BC: You know, the warehouse, where would you start? It is the closest we have to one of those Indiana Jones-type warehouses. It’s probably the most richly appointed warehouses in the world, I would say. They’ve collected for a hundred years. I can’t think of anyone else, maybe the Smithsonian, but Ripley’s is probably a close second. Ripley’s might have more stuff than the Smithsonian, that would be a fun one to test.

KT: Which do you think would have more body parts?

BC: Well, Ripley’s would have more body parts.

KT: OK, but the Smithsonian does have John Dillinger’s, well, you know.

BC: So the rumor goes.

KT: As they say. So, speaking of ‘Believe It or Not!,’ I still can’t believe you retired iconic character, Ash Williams. Are you sticking to that? No way I can talk you into reconsidering?

BC: Yeah, I’m sticking to that; it gets easier every year.

KT: [Laughs] Fair enough.

BC: I’m still doing video games, I’m doing voices for Ash. I’m just not going to grovel in the blood anymore.

KT: I think that’s fair. It’s not retiring the character, just a retirement plan.

BC: I’m retiring from certain types of roles, ones that require looking at tennis balls on sticks.

KT: I’m excited to see you’ve got the paperback for ‘Hail to the Chin’ coming out; I was a big fan of ‘If Chins Could Kill.’ Although when you were teasing that on social media, I think a couple of fans interpreted that as a little bit of foreshadowing of a new gig for Ash.

BC: That’s fine. Fans are always going to do that. Everyone’s a genius, everyone’s got opinions and the internet fans the flames. No, it’s all good. They’re going to see different versions, they’re going to be seeing more ‘Evil Dead,’ too. We’re not done with the ‘Evil Dead’ saga, more stories to tell.

KT: Do you think Fede Alvarez might return?

BC: I don’t know, Fede’s a big Hollywood director now. I don’t know if Fede needs this. We’ll have to see.

KT: Everyone needs a passion project.

BC: Fede had it. Fede came and pitched his version of ‘Evil Dead.’

KT: Any juicy tidbits you want to tease from the ‘Requiem For Ash’ Edition?

BC: It’s a fuller explanation of the birth, life, and death of ‘Ash vs. Evil Dead’ and then the ultimate retirement of that character. It’s a little more of an essay approach, it’s a little more esoteric.

KT: Psychologically, what is it about Ash Williams that inspires such devotion from fans?

BC: Because he is the fans, the fans are him. Ash has no skills, Ash doesn’t come from another planet, he comes from Michigan. He’s the guy you want in the foxhole, but he probably got low SAT scores. So people watching him, I think they root for him because they’re like, ‘Damn, that’s like my neighbor. That’s like if my neighbor decided to save the world from evil.’ Kind of like that. That’s how I look at it and that’s how we played it. That’s why it was worth bringing the guy back 48 years later to try it again… He’s the ultimate anti-hero, anti in that he can’t even get out of bed, you know?

KT: He comes across as an oafish, ill-mannered lout as well.

BC: Of course, but you know what? He was written in an ancient book, so there’s more to him than just the trailer park guy. That’s what was fun exploring.

KT: The prophecy of the ultimate average guy.

BC: Exactly.

KT: Got it. You’ve had a number of memorable, colorful roles over the years, from Ash to Brisco, Autolycus to Sam Axe, even a fictionalized version of yourself in ‘My Name Is Bruce’ (shout out to Guan Di, the patron saint of bean curd). Is there one, in particular, you’ve enjoyed playing the most, above all others?

BC: Elvis was pretty fun. I think most American males would have enjoyed playing that part. Playing President Reagan on ‘Fargo’ was fun, I used to imitate him with my buddy, John Cameron, who produced that show. In the ’80s we were both subjected to endless Reagan on television. That was fun.

KT: Have you been in that situation professionally, where you’ve gotten kind of a lousy role on a great show?

BC: Well, I’m better at saying no to stuff now, so hopefully I won’t find myself in that situation nearly as much.

KT: Circling back to Elvis, there was talk of a ‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ follow-up years ago. What are the chances of that coming together?

BC: Zero. I’ve retired that character as well. I’ve notified Don Coscarelli and Joe Lansdale. You know, it’s Don Coscarelli’s project, he’s more than welcome to forge ahead. We couldn’t crack the script the way I saw it and we were going to come to loggerheads. I didn’t want to do that, so I backed out because I know now if the script isn’t where it needs to be, the movie will not get there either.

KT: Marlon Brando advised a young(er) Johnny Depp to play Hamlet before he got too old for the role. Are there any of those iconic types of roles you’d like to tackle?

BC: Of iconic people?

KT: Yeah. Just those classic roles from that sort of timeless production, like ‘Hamlet.’

BC: No. No, I don’t, because I like original stuff. I mean, if we’re going to remake something, let’s remake our own stuff. That’s the case with ‘Bubba Ho-Tep.’ It won’t be as good and people will only remember that you blew it on the second try.

KT: So the legacy of the project would be one of failure.

BC: You have to have original stuff out there to make up for the movies that have a seven, eight, and nine after them.

KT: The old maxim is that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

BC: Yes, except ‘Ripley’s Believe It or Not!’ There’s never too much of that.

KT: [Laughs] Well played, fair enough. Fan question: Who would win in a left-handed arm wrestling match, Ash Williams or Sam Axe?

BC: I don’t do those questions, because they’re hypothetical and impossible to answer.

KT: Can you hook me up with a six-pack of Ash’s favorite beer, Shemp’s?

BC: No, because it’s fake.

KT: Well, Bruce, I came here to ask questions and kick ass, and I’m all out of questions.

BC: Let’s go kick ass!

KT: Again, thanks so much for taking some time to talk with me and putting up with my silliness and unending admiration.

BC: Yeah, my friend. All good. Thank you, sir. Have a good day.

KT: Thanks, Bruce!

BC: Cheers.

[jeffmac813]

Too Many Cooks Stories

On October 28, 2014, a short comedy piece named Too Many Cooks aired in the "Infomercials" slot on Adult Swim -- 4am. Within one week, though, the short had garnered over 5 million views on YouTube and become a viral smash. I asked my editor Sarah Ottney at Toledo Free Press if I could cover the phenomenon, and thanks to Adult Swim, garnered interviews with the short's creator, Casper Kelly, and actor William Tolarsky, who played the silent killer named Bill. These stories are some of my favorite pieces I've ever written, because of how quickly they came together and how kind and excited their subjects were at Too Many Cooks' surprising success.

(written 11/12/14)

"Too Many Cooks": Creating a New Cult Classic

The writer behind the net's most bizarre viral sensation

Written by Jeff McGinnis

It starts out looking like most any cliche, cheesy sitcom opening sequence from the 80s. Upbeat, bland theme tune. Actors turning with a smile to the camera. All very familiar. 

But then things start to happen that feel ... wrong. The theme music never stops. Just keeps on playing. More and more cast members appear, past the point of being ludicrous. The show's genre seems to change -- from sitcom to cop drama to prime time soap and more. And then there's the creepy guy who suddenly starts killing the rest of the cast.

This is "Too Many Cooks," the comedy short that is taking the internet by storm. Produced for Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" late-night lineup, the dark satire first aired during the network's "Infomercial" slot -- meaning 4 a.m. -- earlier this month. But something happened when the clip found its way online, and soon the bizarre short had exploded virally. In about a week, the myriad postings of the short -- both official and otherwise -- have garnered over 5 million hits.

And at the epicenter of it all is a young writer and director named Casper Kelly, who is both ecstatic and a little dumbfounded.

"It is super, super -- THREE supers -- exciting and thrilling, almost veering into the other side, of flop sweat and panic," Kelly said in an interview with Toledo Free Press. "I'm holding it together, having fun."

Kelly is not a new voice among Adult Swim's class of comedic subversives. He has worked for years at production headquarters in Atlanta, composing funny promos for Cartoon Network shows, writing for shows like "Squidbillies" and "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," co-creating the series "Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell." Not typical fare, even for late-night basic cable, but Kelly revels in the creative freedom working at Adult Swim provides.

"It's wonderful, and our boss, Mike Lazzo -- he's a tough audience," Kelly said. "He's a very sophisticated viewer, and gets bored easily. But when he likes what you're doing, he gives you a lot of rope. A lot of freedom to try it. And does not micromanage. He gives you kind of big ideas at the beginning, and might give you ideas at the end, but in the middle, he lets you do your thing -- which is great."

Still, Kelly was hesitant to pitch the idea that would become "Too Many Cooks." Though there was plenty of precedent for the network doing experimental ideas like it in their late infomercial slots, he wasn't totally confident that the concept could sustain a full short.

"I had the idea, and I didn't even tell Mike Lazzo, because I didn't know if it would work. So I was afraid to pitch it. But I told some co-workers, who at a work party told him. And the idea made him laugh, so I had to do it at that point."

Filming came together remarkably quickly given how complicated the finished product would prove to be, Kelly said. "Interestingly -- and this was probably a good thing -- we did not have a lot of time, because we had a narrow window open up where our production company could do it. So once I had the outline, I think we only had a couple of weeks. So I just had to think about it constantly and just kind of throw down every idea I could.

"We had a lot of time in post, but leading up to it was a mad dash. And so much work was getting headshots, and finding people that had the right look, to give you the feeling for that character."

Another crucial element would be the short's music -- that initially chipper tune that mutates into forms that are dramatic, haunting and more. Kelly was hands-on with its creation, as well.

"That took a lot of time. I wrote the lyrics -- most of the lyrics -- and then we used one audio guy, who was great, and then it got to be too much. Because we had no money -- he was doing it for us as a favor. He did as much as he could, and then we had to hand it off to someone else to finish it, who did a great job. I think I really got the best out of both of them.

"People were saying that song gets stuck in their head. It sure did get stuck in our head when we were editing it."

Kelly has no plans to rest on his laurels, even now that "Too Many Cooks" has garnered such remarkable fame and acclaim in such a brief amount of time. He's hard at work on the second season "Your Pretty Face," for one thing. And as to whatever opportunities may arise from here, Kelly said he's primed and ready.

"I'm excited, because I have opportunities now to make more stuff. And I have a notebook full of ideas, short films, and feature scripts and more. And I feel like a kid in a candy store right now."

"Too Many Cooks": Killer Bill

Atlanta actor makes mark as short's silent assassin

Written by Jeff McGinnis

The voice on the other end of the phone is kind. Bright. A little higher than you'd expect, given its owner. A definite southern twang, understandable since he's lived in Georgia so long -- though he's Pennsylvanian by birth. He's gracious, good-natured, a sweetheart. You wouldn't guess how natural he looks chopping people's heads off with a machete.

William Tokarsky is his name, and for the past week or so his face has become the central image of one of the internet's most wildly successful viral videos. He plays the killer -- "Bill," if the credit on IMDB is to be believed, though he's never named in the short -- at the center of the bizarre satire "Too Many Cooks," produced by Cartoon Network.

"I was working as an extra for [director] Casper Kelly on another show he does on Adult Swim," Tokarsky said in an interview with Toledo Free Press. "And we became friends, and he liked my look. And there were two or three other people he had in mind for that role, and we all submitted this little tape and audition, and he picked me. And I think I did a decent job."

Tokarsky is putting it mildly. His gleefully crazed facial expressions and malevolent presence are key to much of the short's dark comedy. It's a look that has served Tokarsky well since he first began dipping his toe into acting.

"I retired from General Motors. And they were making a movie where I live. And suburban Atlanta has become a hotbed of movie and TV production. And I was talking to some people that used to be on the line working, and there's people that were extras. And I thought, 'Well, I could do that!' And I just started doing that.

"I have a unique look, that garnered me a position up front sometimes, to the point where someone tapped me on the shoulder on 'Hunger Games: Catching Fire' and said, 'You have a speaking line next week if you want it.'"

No speaking lines were needed on the set of "Too Many Cooks," though. Tokarsky's silent maniac appears subtly at first, stalking in the background of many shots, to the point where many viewers may not notice him until he begins his mad slasher act in earnest. Even Tokarsky is surprised at how often he appears in the finished product.

"I never had a script when we did it. So basically, what occurred was, they would place me, or give an action, and I would do it. And you don't necessarily shoot in order. So it was a surprise to me that we were playing 'Where's Waldo,'" he said.

"I watched it the first time, and never saw myself in locations -- like the 24-second mark in, where I'm standing behind the little girl -- I didn't see myself there. But I was there when we filmed the damn thing! It's like I didn't see the big picture in Casper's mind when we filmed it. He gave me an action, and I did it."

The success of "Cooks" -- both on an artistic and popularity scale -- has come as a surprise for most. But even though Tokarsky admits he's not exactly part of the demographic the short is aimed at, he said he had a feeling it would either be a colossal success or an equally memorable failure."

"I was speaking with my wife, and I said, 'Well, there's one of two things that's going to happen. This thing is going to stink so bad, no one's ever going to see it. Or, it's going to go viral.'"

Now that his latter prediction has come true, Tokarsky's excited about the opportunities his sudden exposure may bring. "I would think I would get a few things out of it -- you know, the creepy janitor on a TV show," he joked.

"I've found my genre; I've found what I can do. So, I'm retired, and I have a decent pension, so, as a friend of mine, another actor, said -- 'It's all gravy.' And I'm having fun with it, I got an agent last April, I've pretty much stopped doing extra work except for Casper -- I'm going to work for him, because I like him, and he likes me, and maybe I can get a contract out of him on his other show!"

Is he worried about being typecast, thanks to "Too Many Cooks"' popularity? Not at all. In fact, he relishes the idea.

"I know who I am, so it doesn't bother me," Tokarsky said. "If you want to act, you got to get an agent, you get an agent where they don't have ten other guys looking for your role. Because how many guys want to be the creepy guy?"

View "Too Many Cooks" on Adult Swim's YouTube page: http://youtu.be/QrGrOK8oZG8

[superzeroic]

hi! do you have a gif tutorial by any chance? yours are absolutely stunning 💓

Hey, thanks buddy! You’re hecka sweet. I can give you a little preview into my own process, but keep in mind that I’m sure there’s a heck of a lot of better tutorials (I’ll link them in the tutorial, they’ll be under part 2 coloring section). But this is how I go about it:

Part 1: Prep

Believe it or not, this is where most of my time goes. I’ll assume that you have some kind of photoshop that can make gifs at this point (I personally use Photoshop CC 2015) as well as the video files for whatever you want to gif.

First thing after having the video files for what’cha want to gif, we’ll have to upload the frames to photoshop. My method depends on how short the video files actually is. 

If it’s a short mp4 files (e.g. a trailer from yt), I can just upload the part I want to gif by directly opening photoshop and clicking on the top menu: file >> import >> video to frames. Click on the video file and select the range you want to gif.

Easy peasy, you can now skip to step 2 in that case!

Unfortunately, the file is usually a large, 2-3 hr long, mkv file so that won’t cut it. Instead, you’ll need create a file that contains each frame as a screenshot (don’t worry, it’s not as tedious as it sounds!). There’s several ways to go about this, but I personally use a combination of Adapter and VLC.

Adapter will allow you to input a range and create a file to save your frames. Makes sure to pick a custom place to save your files (under directory) and your export frame rate to be ~24 images per second. At the bottom of the screen, you can also pick the file type of your screenshots - I personally will save them as PNG. I use VLC to find the range (since it’s the only video player I can find that opens mkv files AND works on mac) since unfortunately Adapter won’t let you preview the actual video, unlike when uploading to photoshop.

Here’s another tutorial on Adapter that is a lot better written >.>

Once that’s all done, we can finally upload to photoshop. To do this, you’ll go to the top menu like you would to directly download the video file, but instead click file >> scripts >> load files into stack. Click “Browse” and select all the screenshots in your file. Click okay.

Give it a few moments (or in my case, 15 minutes or so bc it’s slow for me for some reason ;_;) until the upload is complete. Once it’s complete, you click “create frame animation” at the bottom (if you don’t see the timeline, go to the top menu and select window >> timeline).

You’ll see only one frame so far. No worries, select the 4 little lines at the top right of the timeline and select “make frames from layers”.

So close! Now we need to reverse the frames and the layers. This does get a little tedious, so bear with me. Select all the frames and go down to the same drop down menu (with the 4 little lines) and click reverse frames. To reverse the layers select all except the bottom one (for some reason it’ll give me an error if I try to select all of them) and go to the top menu: layer >> arrange >> reverse. Then click that bottom, troublesome layer and click layer >> arrange >> bring to the top.

A tedious method indeed, but you can make it easier by memorizing the hot keys or, better yet, creating an action (which allows you to save numerous steps).

Tutorial on actions here.

Finally (I swear there’s light at the end of this tunnel), go to the bottom of the timeline and click “once” and select “forever” to the gif will loop once you save it.

OKIE DOKIE, FINALLY READY TO ACTUALLY MAKE THE GIF.

Part 2: Coloring + Sharpening + etc

There are loads of methods on coloring, which heavily depends on your preferences. No matter what, I usually start with levels to up the contrast. Add a little bit of darkness (leftmost slider…thing - don’t go too crazy, I stay within the 5-15 range unless I’m doing something special), and up the brightness by sliding the other two sliders to the left.

Now it all depends on you. Do you want vibrant? Single color specific? Pale? Whatever you might want, I tend to use the following the most: levels, selective color, color balance, hue/saturation, brightness/contrast, vibrance, and occasionally gradient map. 

Check out specific blogs below for more information on that (or if you want to know how color a specific way, let me know).

Blog recs for tutorials:

@chaoticresources || @itsphotoshop || @completeresources

+ their recommended/affiliates (on the side of each blog)

Okie dokie, before moving forward, we’ll need to resize the gif if you haven’t already. Tumblr specifically allows for only different three widths: 540 px (one gif across), 268 px (two gifs per row), and 177 px/178 px/177 px (three gifs per row, yes the middle is 1 px more). The height has less limitations, but all your gifs should generally be the same within one gifset (unless you’re going for something interesting); each gif in a row specifically has to be the same height, however, or else you’re gonna get some funky results.

Note: my most generic sets tend to be 8 gifs, 2 per row. These tend to have a height of 154 px. But all up to you, my dude.

Once you’re all done coloring and resizing, it’s time to sharpen. The quickest way to sharpen is to convert your timeline to “video timeline”. But I personally dislike that method for various reasons (mostly bc saving a gif while in that mode takes like 700 years for my poor computer and I have less control over each individual frame), so I’ll show you my tedious as heck way (hint: once again, I use actions to do this). 

To sharpen each frame, you have the frame and corresponding layer selected. Then in the top menu, select filter >> sharpen >> smart sharpen. My settings are as follows: amount ranges between 250-400%, radius is 0.3-0.4 px, reduce noise is 10%, and remove gaussian blur. You’ll have to do this for each frame/layer, so again I suggest either learning/downloading actions or learn the video timeline method.

Lastly, make sure your gif delay is around 0.5 secs - or at least that’s what I use. Sometimes I’ll go up 0.7 or even 0.9 secs if I have a really really small amount of frames and I want to make the gif look like it lasts longer ^^;.

Part 3: Saving and Posting

Okie dokie, so this should be the easy part, right? Maybe? All depends on your gif. You see, when you save (top menu: file >> export >> save for web), you gotta make sure your gif is under 3M…but I usually try to get under 2.87 M to be safe (I’ve saved at 2.9M before and the file ended up being bumped up to over 3M when I checked the file itself….very rude).

Anywho, the best way to cut down size is deleting frames. Other methods include playing around with the coloring (less vibrant, for instance) and height (especially for 540 px gifs).

So once you get a decent size, click “preview” to see how your spiffy gif will be looking. Once you’re satisfied, you can finally save! Upload those bad boys to tumblr and tag them with appropriate tags (e.g. the fandom edit tags or tagging blogs if that’s your sort of thing). Finally done to show the world :’D

Hopefully that was someone helpful? ish? If you need any specifics, let me know.

[thebandcampdiaries]

Brian Lee Bender - “I’m Here To Party With You”

A diverse album featuring many influences, converging together into something special.

Review Summary: Brian Lee Bender released a new album called “I’m Here To Party With You.” This record features 13 tracks, exploring various influences, as well as channeling the best of pop, country, and rock!

Brian Lee Bender is a singer and songwriter hailing from Sacramento, California.

His style is very diverse, channeling a wide variety of genres. From classic rock to modern pop and country, anything goes! His most recent full-length album release is a project titled “I’m Here To Party With You.”

This beautifully diverse album features 13 studio tracks, highlighting Brian’s versatility as an artist and next-level compositional style. Keep reading to get deeper as we explore each and every track!

1) I’m Here To Party With You

The album’s title track is just as bright and uplifting as its name would have you believe. The release kicks off with a quintessential feel-good track, which really encapsulates Brian’s ability to write engaging, light-hearted songs that will make you smile.

2) Better Days

Better Days kicks in with a fantastic electric guitar riff, and with a beautiful balance of instrumental detail and amazing lyrics. The song of this track makes me think of artists like Keith Urban or Brad Paisley, but with a grittier, more down-to-earth approach, which lends this song even more authenticity. The Banjo licks in the choruses really make the song, adding it a unique vibe.

3) Change Me

This mellow ballad has a dreamy, floating texture, made even more special with the clever use of romantic slide guitar lines. I love how the drumming is so dynamic, allowing the acoustic guitar and vocals to take the main place under the spotlight during the verses, but yet creating some additional energy as the refrains unfold.

4) We Go Back

This is a fun song with a playful vibe and a very groovy arrangement. I love how the verses take a backseat, making for a slower, more mellow tone. This creates a unique contrast with the choruses, which embrace a more upbeat and melodic style. This is a bittersweet song with a nostalgic feel and a really memorable set of great melodies.

5) Around The Bend

This beautiful 3/4 track is halfway between a folk ballad and a country-rock song. I love the powerful rhythm section, and the amazing vocal harmonies, which make the song stand out.

6) Touched By The Music

This might be one of my favorite numbers on this release! I love the rhythm and the vintage vibe of this track, which makes me think of classic 60s country music, yet with a very modern and clear production vibe. The verses are more introspective and constrained, while the choruses take it up a notch with some great drumming and vocal harmonies.

7) Country Is My Bible

“Country Is My Bible” has a traditional sound, with some beautiful honky-tonk piano and an amazing duet on the vocals, with Brian taking on a lead role, and some female vocal harmonies in the background to highlight some of the melodies. This track is almost a gospel tune, with lyrics that are very powerful and emphatic.

8) One Big Song Away

This single might be the most hard-hitting track on the album, in terms of energy. The drum and bass keep up a steady pace, and the guitar riffage is pure rock and roll. This song is powerful, yet not overly aggressive, channeling the dirt of rock music, but also retaining the elegant, smooth sound of this release.

9) This Song

On “This Song,” acoustic guitars are king. I love the simplicity of the melody and the fact that this song is perfectly timed on the album’s setlist, letting the record breathe with a more intimate track.

The slide guitar tones are absolutely beautiful, creating a dreamy soundscape in the background, accompanying the main vocal melodies.

10) Freedom USA

This song combines a cool southern rock flair with a playful country stomp. What makes the song even more special is the concept. Brian is a witty lyricist, who uses his sense of humor and ability to relate to people to explore deeper topics with a strong social value. However, he never sounds preachy or condescending. The beauty of this song is that it arguably comes from a very personal place.

11) Thank You For My Life

This is a stunning slow-paced ballad with a 3/4 tempo and a very romantic atmosphere, almost like a track you’d expect to hear at a school dance many years ago! I love the hopeful, melodic punch of the choruses and the overall charming vibe of this song.

12) Sunshine

“Sunshine” has a positive, happy-go-lucky vibe, with stronger pop influences. This song goes back full circle, bringing the album to the vibes that fueled its beginning. This song is a catchy, happy, bright, track with a massive appeal!

13) A Real Man

Last, but most definitely not least, “A Real Man,” is the quintessential country rock number, exuding with confidence and energy. The rhythm section is rock-solid, and so are the guitar riffs and lead vocals, showcasing Brian’s grit and range.

Ultimately, this is a very enjoyable album, which will have you rapt from start to finish. Each track has something special to offer, yet the set list is remarkably consistent and fun to listen to.

Find out more about Brian Lee Bender, and do not miss out on his music, releases, and activities. “I’m Here To Party With You” is currently available on Spotify, where you can stream the album in its entirety.

https://open.spotify.com/album/0I0FGsoIVQHnVy4Pj3M7JO

We also had the opportunity to ask Brian a few questions: keep reading to check out our full interview with him!

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first, or do you focus on the beat the most?

For a long time, my writing started with the discovery of cool guitar chords and progressions and then finding melody and words that fit. But lately, I have been just using my pc and a stage keyboard, no guitar at all and singing lyrics and melody with the record button on. I just loop it around until I have something I like. Once I get the foundation of the track, I work to make it story like, a journey of some kind that keeps the listener’s attention.

Do you perform live? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

Live music and recorded sound are two different presentations and I love them both. Each has something to offer the other does not. Recorded music is your best edit and presentation that you could design and implement. With Live music, it will never be the same twice, it’s a huge rush or sometimes major challenge to get all of the stars to line up and have your song come together. But with live music, you have instant feedback and like a DJ you can read the crowd and follow the moment. Recorded music is an on-demand experience where the listener can push the play button and get the same piece of art, every time, anywhere in the world. Whereas the live experience is like, everything you know and feel about music gets crushed into your performance, and like an athlete, you always need to be working on your game. At that moment you live and die by your ability to reach peak performance. Preparing yourself for a live performance yields huge dividends in the many skills required to be effective on stage. Having the reality of listening to your designs on record and then getting instant feedback from fans on stage, those two things working together are what allows an artist to be relatable and grow into their shoes, create a sound all their own. So the long answer is, they are equally important to me as an artist.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression” on a new listener, which song would you pick and why?

This is a hard one, because I know everybody likes something different and of course I want to offer something to anybody who needs music in their life!

But, “Touched By The Music” is really my most definitive piece, in terms of the soundscape used, it's current but nostalgic, it’s got big drums, and it flows nicely as a production. Most importantly, it kind of sums up the value of music in my life and hopefully in the lives of many others. I see so many people, cruising around, at the gym, headphones in place, dialing up their “favorite song” that takes them somewhere they need to go in that moment. Music is a helper and friend and for me, it’s a universal source of energy. Like life’s metronome that we sync to. It keeps us going forward to the next measure, moment, day, month. I personally have a hard time without music in my daily life, so it's my heartbeat that I follow.

What does it take to be “innovative” in music?

Being curious about the mystery of it. Realizing, that you should measure yourself against what you think is great, and do what you can to find your own personal greatness. That means making progress so you can relieve your inner nag, that means never quitting unless you are otherwise suffering in life. Whatever, stage you are in, as a creator, you should always be just looking right near you for inspiration and stories you can tell. There really aren’t’ any new stories, just new storytellers, speaking the language of our time. For you to be effective, you need to speak the language of your listeners. So staying up with news, events, trends, having lots of experiences to write about and contemplate in a song, is vital. Many of my songs are just me writing to myself, to get me fired up, force me to be optimistic, happy, emotionally done with something or somebody. As we grow in our life experiences, we turn the page and have new chapters that we can write about. Life is a play and we are all in it. Learn or write your script, find your place on stage and give your best performance.

Any upcoming release or tour your way?

In the new world, I have managed to become vertically integrated, meaning I can write something in a day and drop it on the world the very same day if I wanted and I am getting used to this type of freedom and how to best take advantage of it. The old way is not really relevant anymore. Printing a physical CD seems pointless, people ask, “this is great, how do I get it on my phone”? They might also say, I can’t find your video on youtube? Meaning a song by itself is no longer the medium of modern music. As far as releases, I have many unpublished items and I am working daily on selecting pieces that might be of interest to others.

As for live music, I am spoiled and pragmatic about the lifestyle of “living on the road”. I have done it and I have seen the collateral damage, the price, for “living the dream” at the expense of real family relationships, a real partnership, a stable home where you have a foundation to work from. So now, for live music, I play at a reasonable interval, 2-4 times a month depending on the season, which allows time to record in Nashville or just travel a bit. We play to a wine, beer, food demographic that enjoys listening to live music. My partner and I play as an acoustic-electric duo. This gives me a platform to try out new sounds and songs on a regular basis. We never play the same sets every night. I can play songs in any order or go anywhere we need to, like a DJ, to follow the moment and entertain people.

As for my project studio, this is where I do a lot of R and D, writing, recording, rehearse and prep for shows. Over the years, I have learned to play every instrument, record, mix, master and produce my music. It’s all there, every day for me to explore and create, just 20 seconds away from my backdoor.

Anywhere online where curious fans can listen to your music and find out more about you?

I have tried to create a user-friendly “experience” on my website, that allows efficient self-navigation to grab all the relevant info, stay a while if you have the time and listen to music, watch videos, read my story in a pictorial fashion.

By design, I hope you can get right to what you are looking for, no sales pitch, just the music that should be the most important thing we have between us.

Learning new music can take a little repetition from the listener. Do me a favor and spin my latest album on Spotify, Apple or Amazon or your service of choice.

Just play it once and then once again another time. This is how we expand our musical experience. You allow yourself to receive it, take it in, learn it and become part of the music. It’s really meant for all. Invest a tiny bit of your time and I trust you find something of value that makes it worth it.

You can explore at https://www.brianleebender.com

Thank you for getting this far, I appreciate anyone who has taken the time to consider my work. My highest honor is sharing the magic of music. Cheers

[jostenminyard]

Signing on the Line - Ch. 1 & 2

Summary: When Neil Josten is offered a position as a starting striker for a professional Exy team, he feels like all of his dreams are coming true. He signs the contract, not caring about the strict morality clause that controls who he can and can't date in the public eye.

Then he meets Andrew Minyard, the top-ranked goalie of a rival team, and then Neil thinks he might just have to care after all.

A/N: Detailed tag list and warnings on AO3. I’m posting around twice a week there, and will round up the chapters once a week here!

Chapter 1 on AO3 | Chapter 2 on AO3 

The contract was read by his manager first, then his lawyer, his manager again, and then finally given to Neil.

He had a week to read it over, and he took to every word like they were something sacred, like he needed to memorize all of it. He hardly understood a thing, but was fortunately smart enough to not let his eagerness of being signed cloud his judgement.

From that first day in little league, to his last day at the University of Arizona, he’s been working towards a contract like this all his life. Playing for the pros, he’d be larger than his own existence. His name would grow to be bigger than his body, no longer associated with anything else, attached to Exy and only Exy, longer than he’d ever be alive.

In the heat of the moment, the fruition of a dream, he almost signed the contract before he even read the opening statement.

But thankfully, he didn’t, so now he sits here in his manager’s office with his manager, his lawyer, the head coach of the team, and one of their recruiters.

The lawyer goes over all the parts Neil had highlighted, the parts he couldn’t quite grasp. The salary he understood and thought of as unimportant, but the sponsor part, not so much, so his lawyer helpfully explains the process; a proceed of any profit made from a sponsorship or ad goes directly back to the team’s management.

His lawyer says the percentage is negotiable, but Neil waves it off. Money is the last thing he’s playing for.

When they get to the public relations section, everyone in the small room grows tense, aware of who Neil is, who Neil was.

He was a Wesninski, but Neil had left that name in his past long before he ever attended UOA. He hadn’t known what that name even meant until a camera crew showed up at his stadium and deemed him ‘The Butcher’s Son’.

Neil’s mother never did explain it, never told him why he had to be Alex, Stefan, Chris and then Neil Josten, of all names, and that he could never again be Nathaniel Wesninski after his father passed away. He was too young to ask why, so it was a new name and a new home every few years until his mother too, had to move on from life.

She died with her sickness and with every secret and with the very strict order to be anyone else but himself.

It made for a very interesting start to Neil’s final year of university, to be cut from class so he could be interrogated by the FBI. But Neil didn’t know anything; who his father was, what his father did, what his mother told him, where the money went.

Mary hadn’t told Neil a thing, so he could never be incriminated.

But the name stuck - Nathaniel Wesninski, the son of a murderer - and it made captaining his team all that much harder. Working with a team that refused to listen to him and was sickened by the sight of him made for some very easy losses, and prevented them from entering semi-finals.

It had every recruiter turning their gaze away from Neil, writing him off as unimportant, even though he was fighting with every tooth and nail to rally his team together.

Somehow, however, one pair of eyes stayed on him, and those eyes weren’t able to deny his talent.

Those eyes brought Neil here, to the San Francisco Seakings.

Here, to where he’s about to sign the contract of his dreams, except for one little thing:

The contract is a story, a script, and his freedom of speech has been stripped.

Every interview, TV spot and paparazzi picture will all be handled by someone above Neil’s head. He’ll be assigned his own publicist to go over media training with him, to create plans and strategies, and to control all his social media accounts from here on out.

But . . . he doesn’t care about any of that, not really. He’s here to play. He’s used to being anyone but himself.

They go over a few more things about his image clean up. It’s already been decided how Neil will be marketed - the official partner of Kevin Day. The rookie that’s going to help Kevin bring his team up the ranks, the same way Neil was able to run UOA up until his fifth year.

Kevin’s eyes were the ones on him, apparently, when Neil was sure nobody was watching him.

The talk of PR naturally brings up the part in the contract that had Neil scratching his head in confusion the most, because he didn’t understand how ‘dating and relationship(s)’ could be associated with playing for the pros.

It’s apparently a very big association, as it takes up a large paragraph in his contract.

Like everything about his own life so far, who he dates can only be shown in the limelight if it’s beneficial for him, the team, and the sponsors. As if Neil is nothing more than a special-edition trading card.

Any celebrity, from A to Z, could end up on Neil’s arm at some point. If it’d help his image, bring in sales, increase viewership, the Seakings’ PR team will be signing a check to whatever starlet’s name is most popular at the time.

It’s about image.

A morality clause; saying that his name must be publicized a certain way, and if he acts against it, Neil will be, in other words, slapped with a legal fee to cover the cost of potential damage, and be forced to forfeit his contract.

The black words on the paper don’t say he can’t be anything outside the ‘norm’, but they do say he can’t be perceived as such. Neil scowls at the wording, sending a scathing look at everyone in the room, hoping it’ll somehow reach whichever airhead wrote that and felt that they got to decide what normal is.

He stares down at his dream contract and suddenly sees it as a pair of handcuffs.

“I’m not comfortable with signing that,” Neil explains, and waves a hand at the thick binding of paper.

“It’s not real, Neil, it’s a show. It brings in the viewers and the ticket holders, which then raises the amount the sponsors are willing to put in,” his manager explains, as if it’s all obvious. “Every player you’ve ever seen in a game has signed this part of the contract. It’s nothing.”

“This basically says you’re forcing players out of their orientations,” Neil says, one eyebrow lifting. “That’s nothing?”

“Listen, kid, nobody’s forcing anybody. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, whatever, because we’re not saying you can’t be,” Coach Mullens suddenly says. “The world just can’t know and that’s how it is. If you want a career, then you’ll keep your secret love a secret and away from my court. If that’s gonna be a problem, then you’ll never find your footing in this world, I can promise you that.”

Neil hears the click of metal, the handcuffs sliding into place. “For the rest of my life?”

“You wouldn’t be considering this contract if you didn’t want to play Exy for the rest of your life.”

And that’s what it all comes back to, the handcuffs sliding off, the room tilting back into colour.

Exy.

It doesn’t really matter to him anyway, does it? He’s yet to encounter anyone electric enough to spark up his skin. Nothing will shock him as much as this sport does.

If they want to control who he holds hands with just to make a profit, then he won’t stop them, because it won’t stop him from his game. It won’t stop him from winning medals and trophies and championships. It won’t stop him from standing on an Olympic podium one day.

So he picks up the pen, signs the contract, and doesn’t think another thought about it.

-

He can’t believe he ever thought it was as easy as just playing Exy.

The season officially starts in October, training starts in August, but now, mid-July, he stands in his manager’s hotel room as a stylist yanks him into a black velvet suit. The first step to playing for a professional team, it seems, is attending charity event after sponsorship dinner after press conference after banquet after charity event. And repeat.

Tonight the NEL hosts its debut banquet, with every team attending, with every sports journalist in the country going to try and snatch as many first-time interviews as they can.

His manager and his publicist have been drilling him all week, preparing him for whatever questions may be asked and how he’s supposed to respond. His publicist will never be more than ten feet away, and in case that fails, and in case Neil’s mouth gets away from him, Kevin Day will be attached to his hip.

Neil would complain that he doesn’t need a babysitter, but he understands the role he’s playing now.

The Exy world knows who Neil is, knows that Kevin’s the one who saved his career. They’ve only exchanged the barest of words so far, but Kevin and Neil are far past the point of being teammates now. They’re to be a pair.

One of the dynamic duos that fans go crazy over. If successful, their names will be on shirts, hats, signs. When you hear the name Day, Josten will never be far behind.

It just sucks that nothing in his life is under his control. He doesn’t even get to choose the colour of his socks tonight.

A town car arrives to pick Neil up, Kevin already sitting inside, dressed in a similar suit. His tie is aqua, Neil’s is silver; the two colours of their team.

“All this for a game?” Neil asks, as they draw closer to the banquet. From the car he can see the red carpet, the security guards, the paparazzi and the news teams and journalists and the flashing cameras. “We’re athletes, not celebrities.”

Kevin hasn’t said a word to him all throughout the ride, and he doesn’t bother to meet Neil’s eyes, choosing instead to look out the window at the awaiting media frenzy. “In this world, it’s the same thing. Most people like it.”

Neil swallows roughly, and wonders for a split second if this is what he was really made for. “Are you one of them?” he asks, his voice slightly shaking.

Nothing in Kevin shakes. He’s been playing for this team for two years. He’s walked this red carpet before.

“I get paid to play something I would pay to play. It works for me.”

The words effectively stop the race to Neil’s heart. The words latch onto him and pull up the corners of his mouth, releasing the smallest of smiles. The words are exactly what Neil needed to hear.

“Then it’ll work for me.”

There’s a roar of a crowd once they step out of their car. Immediately they’re met by flashing white lights and their names being called, security trying to hold back aggressive reporters from crossing their line.

Kevin smiles, tight and clipped but somehow wide, his signature look. Neil’s publicist instructed him to leave behind the hard, jagged, bitter mess of what he was at UOA. His script tonight says to smile, smile, smile, be warm, be forgiving.

If Kevin can do it, then he can do it.

Their publicists push them past certain reporters, usher them closer to others, and Neil answers the questions that come his way as best he can, actively trying to be on his best behaviour, to be the face they want him to be.

Kevin’s partner; the untapped potential that Kevin saved, pulled from the rubble of a crumbling career and given another chance.

If that’s the story they want to portray then he’ll play it, as long as he gets to play his own game. That’s the one thing they can’t control; how hard he hits and how fast he runs and how many goals he gets to score will be all his.

Still, once they’re finally inside the dimly-lit banquet hall, with fewer reporters and more athletes, Neil lets out a breath of relief. Event workers direct them to their table where their other teammates are seated.

Neil’s met a few of them before, and has played against a few of them too. Laila Dermott was the goalie for the Trojans when Neil’s team went up against them in his first and second year. Matt Boyd, who greets Neil with an eager handshake, played with Kevin for the Foxes, but he graduated before Neil could ever get a chance to play in the championships against him.

Small talk ensues, most of the team happy to be reunited after the off-season, eager to get back to their stadium next month and begin practices.

But he’s been directed to talk only to Kevin in public for the time being, so unless he’s spoken to, he doesn’t open his mouth.

There’s a loud commotion near the entrance way, a flood of reporters flocking the doors, lights going off and names being called. Another team has arrived.

Beside him, Kevin goes tense.

Then his hand is on Neil’s arm, and he’s beckoning him upwards. “Come on.”

Their publicists remind them the entire walk over of what they should and shouldn’t say; Kevin has to flaunt his new partner, and if Kevin and Neil are to be the duo that dominates the country, they’ll have to find a way to best the current duo that holds top status.

Riko Moriyama and Andrew Minyard, of the New York Nighthawks.

They stand next to each other like they’d rather be anywhere else in the world, faces stony and cold, eyes sharp and on anywhere but each other. They allow their pictures to be taken, but their patience doesn’t last, and Riko raises a finger to the nearest photographer in an immediate order for them to disperse.

The season hasn’t even started yet, but the pair’s presence has fear and rivalry hot in the air, soaking into the skin of every team present. The two stand there in their matching black and metallic suits and strike the atmosphere like a bolt of lightning.

They’ve been a fascination of Neil’s since he started university. He knows all about the cracking partnership of what was once Riko and Kevin, and the intense rivalry between schools that soon followed.

But it was Andrew who was the focal point of Neil’s fascination.

Andrew signed with Riko’s team immediately after graduating from Palmetto State, and caused the whole world to disrupt into a maddening dark chaos.

Because he was supposed to sign with Kevin’s.

Spurned by two former teammates and partners, Kevin leads the way towards them, looking determined to wave his new partner in their faces. As they get closer, Neil becomes aware of the fact that he’s Kevin’s choice now, but he was never his first.

“Riko. Andrew,” Kevin says cooly, and it feels like the entire room goes quiet. “Welcome.”

Neil keeps a step behind Kevin, not using him to hide but letting him be the focus of whatever is to come.

Riko Moriyama is not what the TV makes him look out to be. Neil has spent a portion of his college career watching Riko’s every move, studying all his games religiously, taking notes and copying moves and techniques to use in his own game.

During a game or facing off against a reporter, Riko is venomous, dangerous.

Standing in front of Kevin, he looks a foot shorter. If he wants to meet Kevin’s eyes then he has no choice but to tilt his head up, a fact that only increases the hatred radiating off of him.

His voice and his presence have him standing seven feet tall, though. “Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,” he says easily, his smile glinting in the dark of the room.

And then there’s Andrew.

Neil wasn’t aware that Andrew was staring at him, and accidentally locks eyes with him when he looks over. It feels like a stab, and it takes everything in Neil to not jerk back. Andrew’s energy is just that; a knife held out, ready to slice.

“I wanted to formally introduce you to our new starting striker, Neil Josten,” Kevin says, and turns slightly to put a hand on Neil’s arm, beckoning him forward. It’s the last move Neil wants to make, feeling more like being shoved into a shark tank with an open wound than anything else.

“Oh, yes,” Riko says, nodding. “The one from Arizona. His team’s performance last year was quite miserable, so I understand why you had to beg for him. Good thing you’re used to begging, right, Kevin?”

Riko doesn’t shake Neil’s hand, and instead makes direct eye contact with him, as if that’s enough.

“You best get acquainted with Andrew. He’ll be blocking all your shots this season.”

Standing there in his silver and black suit, hair sleek and eyes sharp, Andrew says his first words of the night, and directs them all at Kevin. “Another pet, Kevin? What if this one tells you no, too? Where will you be then?”

“Andrew,” Kevin says, almost warningly.

It all goes above Neil’s head, words clearly holding message from a past that he wasn’t part of. It’s not part of his story, any of it, so he focuses on the story he has to tell now; being Kevin’s partner, starting striker for the San Francisco Seakings.

“I’m Neil,” he says brightly, or as bright as he can in the face of two devilish beings. “I played against you my junior year at Arizona.”

He thinks he hears Kevin’s breath hitch when he extends his hand out for Andrew. The atmosphere of the entire room slows and swirls with danger, but it’s too late; Neil’s hand is already out, presenting itself clear to Andrew.

Nothing changes in Andrew’s bored expression, but his eyes drop to the offered hand.

Then he takes it, gripping it tight in a firm shake.

“Odd. I don’t remember you at all.”

Immediately, there’s a flash of a camera near them, but neither pull away. Neil lets his hand be held for another moment, and when it becomes evident that Andrew won’t be the first to let go, he forces his hand to slide out and away.

“I can’t wait to get acquainted,” Neil says, going for simple and light-hearted, but it comes out more heated, more twisted, more teasing.

Andrew effortlessly slips his hands into his pockets and doesn’t take his eyes off Neil. “The pleasure will surely be yours. Or maybe not. Riko? Let’s go.”

Kevin grabs Neil’s arm tight and doesn’t give him a chance to try and respond, hauling him away from the duo and taking him back to their table. “That was a mistake.”

Neil is too busy looking at his hand to look at Kevin. It feels like it’s still being squeezed, tingling along his palm. “That was your idea,” he says pointedly.

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Kevin says, gripping Neil’s arm harder. “Do you have any idea what you just started?”

Confusion weighs heavier on him than the impending fear of danger, so he frowns and asks, “What?”

Kevin groans, finally releasing Neil like he can’t stand to touch him anymore. Then, away from the table still and away from the whole world dying to catch just a few of their words, he leans in and hisses near Neil’s ear, “Andrew wouldn't have bothered to shake your hand unless he found you interesting.”

And at first Neil doesn’t understand.

But then, he does.

And he can’t help but feel like he just shook the hand of death itself.

-

After listening to a few speeches, hearing his own name come up a couple of times, posing for various pictures with various teammates and being asked the same round of questions over and over, he desperately needs to breathe.

Breathe in smoke that is, the scent reminding him so much of his mother, so he pays a server twenty bucks to tell him where the most discreet place to take a smoke break is. Kevin sends him a look when he pushes away from the table, but he ignores it, buttoning up his suit jacket as he stands, then takes off to follow the server.

He’s guided through a hectic kitchen, led down a hall and then another hall before being led out a large metal door. The loading docks, he guesses, judging by the packing boxes and the garage doors.

Neil says thank you, then quickly lights up a cigarette as soon as he’s left alone. One deep inhale to get it going, and the heavy weight of expectation seeps out of him, replaced by a temporary ease. He knows he’s being stupid, and that this is just how it is and that he needs to get used to it, but he just didn’t expect it all to be - like this.

Maybe when practice starts it’ll get easier, it’ll feel real, like he really is here to play a game and not pose for a picture with a practiced smile.

“Does Kevin know you smoke?”

In the empty loading dock, the sound of another voice echoes, rebounding off every wall, but even when the sound fades Neil’s heart is still racing. He immediately looks around, eyes narrowed and posture careful.

Across the way, shadowed by a stack of crates, stands Andrew Minyard. His regal suit and equally regal hairstyle contrast too sharply with the mess of crates and boxes and graffiti, but leaning against the wall with one leg propped, Andrew looks casual, relaxed.

Pretending his heart didn’t nearly just detonate from shock, Neil takes another inhale of smoke before crossing over to Andrew. He notes the cigarette in Andrew’s own hand, nearly burned down to a stub, and arches a brow. “I don’t, but does Riko know that you do?”

“Doesn’t matter. Riko doesn’t own me,” Andrew says simply, then crushes the end of his cigarette against the wall and tosses it.

Neil pauses, considering that, then says scornfully, “Kevin doesn’t own me.”

Andrew answers that with a bored look.

“He doesn’t,” Neil insists, not sure why that look riles up his every nerve. He takes another breath in and holds the smoke in his lungs for too long of a second, then slowly lets it out, but it does nothing to calm him now.

“When somebody is the reason for your very existence, they own you. Kevin got you your contract, yes? Well then he owns you.”

Anger flares in Neil’s chest, along with something he can’t place, something sharp and jarring. The truth, maybe.

Neil keeps it reined in, making his face blank as he can make it. He’s barely aware that he’s speaking, that annoying flaring feeling still bright in his chest, masking the increasing rate of his pulse. “Is that why you wouldn’t sign with him then? You didn’t want to be owned?”

Andrew considers that, it seems, by the way he tilts his head slightly to the side, but that illusion of confusion is snapped when he leans forward and grabs Neil’s cigarette from his fingers, bringing it up to his own mouth.

“A heavy question to be asking,” Andrew says slowly. “For a man who doesn’t know me.”

“I don’t have to know you to know your statistics,” Neil says, voice heavier now with annoyance over his stolen cigarette. Oddly enough, his lungs don’t ache without it, not if he can watch the ring Andrew’s lips make around the filter. “You’re not just the top-ranked goalie in the NEL.”

It only takes a few seconds for his mind to cough up the info he needs, the small facts and the large facts about Andrew Minyard, jersey number three, the New York Nighthawk’s starting goalie. Facts ranging from his speed to his aim to how many shots he blocked in total all of last season.

When he’s done listing the facts, the statistics, he expects something in Andrew’s face to change, expects to see some form of pride or triumph, but Andrew doesn’t even blink.

He blows out a cloud of smoke right into Neil’s face and says, “You’re straddling the border between obsessive and creepy. I should be calling security.”

“They’re facts. Everyone knows them.”

“Not like that.”

“I have to know,” Neil says defensively. “If I ever want to score on you.”

“Knowing all that won’t increase your level of talent,” Andrew scoffs, finally showing a sliver of emotion - judgement.

“I just don’t get it,” Neil says, backtracking to turn the subject to its origin point. “You and Kevin were a great pair. You’d do even better if you were on the same team again. Why’d you sign with his enemy?”

Andrew says, too easily, “Kevin’s enemy is not my enemy. I am my own enemy. Signing with the Nighthawks made that less so.”

Neil barely has a second to frown, to think about that, before Andrew is pushing away from the wall and taking a step closer into Neil’s space.

It’s strange, he thinks, in the brief few seconds he has before Andrew opens his mouth again, that he’s spent all night feeling suffocated but now, with a stranger breathing smoke in his face, standing toe to toe with him, all he feels is air.

“My answers come with a pricetag. You can compensate me with one of your own; why did you sign with the Seakings?”

The way he says it almost sounds like he’s implying that Neil had a decision, that Neil had other options to consider.

It takes a few seconds, but then it hits Neil.

Andrew isn’t implying that at all, he’s implying the opposite.

Rubbing dirt in the wound, running a highlighter across every word, shining a spotlight right on Neil’s still-aching heart.

He didn’t have any options.

“They were the only team to offer me a contract,” Neil admits, low and quiet, and even though that rage is back in his chest, he doesn’t push Andrew away.

“Then perhaps you should quit harping on what contracts I did or didn’t sign and focus on yourself,” Andrew says, and it’s venomous but it’s bright. “Like the real reason Kevin signed you. I bet you still think it’s because you’re his chance at finally besting Riko, right?”

Neil stares at a spot over Andrew’s shoulder, trying desperately to build his wall back up brick by brick, but every breath and word from Andrew has cement crumbling like dust in Neil’s hands.

“That’s one of the reasons, yes,” Neil says flatly, avoiding Andrew’s eyes.

Andrew leans in closer until his mouth is near Neil’s ear, and makes a buzzing noise, deep and grating, like Neil got the answer wrong. This close, a noise like that can’t echo off the walls, but Neil still hears it being repeated in every nerve in his body.

“No. Kevin will never have faith, in anything or anybody, a lesson you need to learn quickly. He will give up on you if you cannot give him what benefits him,” Andrew says quickly, that venom in his tone stinging so much Neil thinks it’s paralyzing him. “You know what you are? His scapegoat. When your team inevitably loses, he can place the blame on you, and no one will question him.”

Neil is still, from head to toe, but some bright hot instinct kicks in a second later, giving him the strength to snap his neck down and face forward, glaring down the scant few inches between him and Andrew.

“You’re going to eat those words,” Neil promises, and without looking he reaches between them for his stolen cigarette.

Andrew jerks his hand away, holding it out of Neil’s reach.

“I’m not hungry,” Andrew says, then flicks the cigarette behind him and turns away to walk back inside.

Then Neil is alone, with nothing and nobody saying his name, with nothing but his thoughts and the truth of him and the weight of his reality, and a sudden burning promise fueling its way through him.

He suddenly doesn’t need to breathe. He just needs to prove Andrew wrong.

- Chapter 2

If that one brief interaction out by the loading docks supplied enough rage-induced encouragement to last a decade, the question that Neil answers on his way out of the banquet supplies enough encouragement to last a lifetime.

When he’s asked it, he doesn’t think of the repercussions, doesn’t think about the fact that every word said in public is a play in a game.

It’s the truth, at least, and maybe that’s why he says it.

Two security guards guide Neil and Kevin to their town car, the night having run its course on Neil and the effects of alcohol having run its course on Kevin. But the guards’ presence doesn’t stop the remaining reporters from flocking to their car, doesn’t stop the flash of cameras.

Doesn’t stop the question; “Neil, Neil! Now that you’ve met the opposing teams, how do you feel about your chances? Do you still think you can help Kevin bring your team to the playoffs?”

Neil stops, turns, and fixes on a smile that he doesn’t have to fake. He can see Kevin shaking his head from the corner of his eye, their publicists practically begging him to not answer this question.

He has to. He made a promise in his head to Andrew.

“Actually, if anything, I feel even more encouraged,” Neil says warmly, as if his words are pleasant opposed to cruel. “I know that with Kevin’s guidance, together we’re going to change how the playoffs are played. His enemies are now my enemies.”

He hopes that somehow, someway, Andrew watches this, and knows Neil’s words are for him.

“Are you referencing Riko Moriyama and his team?”

His smile deepens. “Andrew Minyard,” Neil says, and likes the way his tongue feels after saying his name. “He’s not as impenetrable as he thinks he is, and I’m going to take him down goal by goal. I’m going to score on him.”

Instead of prompting Neil for more, the reporter directs the microphone to Kevin, who stands there shell-shocked, as if Neil just reached into his chest and punched his heart. “Comments?”

Kevin glares at Neil, then faces the camera. “With enough coaching and practice, I fully believe in Neil’s future success,” he says dully, before motioning towards his publicist to clear out the reporters.

All in all, the question took less than a minute to answer.

Neil smiles to himself on the drive home, not knowing that one question will fuel the rest of his life.

-

It was an inevitable feud.

Long in the making, already in the process before Neil Josten was ever a Seaking. This feud was perhaps the main reason Kevin vouched for his recruitment. There hasn’t been a hype like this over a season since Kevin and Riko signed to the pros.

Because this feud started off between the Ravens and the Foxes, technically.

The Foxes lost the championships in Kevin and Andrew’s final year. That loss against the Ravens was only intensified when Andrew signed with Riko, and Kevin was forced to start his professional career on his own.

In Neil’s opinion, Kevin’s the best, but he was too used to having support. His first year as a Seaking, they made it to playoffs and were eliminated after the first round. His second year, they hadn’t earned enough points to qualify.

Losing three years in a row to someone he used to win with only had Kevin playing harder.

But now, Neil isn’t sure what Kevin saw in him that made him think partner.

Kevin’s Comeback Key, most articles had nicknamed Neil. It put a new spark in an old feud. Kevin had ammunition now - or, as most of the Exy world saw it, Kevin had no excuse not to win now.

With a new season, a new striker, a new attitude to Kevin’s playing style and a determination that nothing could cut through, it was an inevitable feud.

It was never meant to be like this, however, between the rookie and the goalie. Nobody ever thought it’d be Neil vs. Andrew, but now that it is, it’s everywhere.

Neil knows how press works, he’s seen his own interviews show up online as soon as they’re filmed, he knows better. Yet he still feels a bit stunned at how quick this - whatever this is - blows up. Everything and everyone, between the ESPN channel to the smallest online magazine, has something to say about it.

The picture of their handshake dominates every single article, with screaming headlines printed over top, their names flashing and bright. Minyard vs Josten, 03 vs 10, Rookie to Score On Goalie?

One news site tracks Andrew and Neil’s college career, and pulls up the footage of Neil’s deathmatch against the Foxes. In the video, Neil tries to run at the goal and score, only to have Andrew catch his ball and rebound it off Neil’s helmet.

It’s their only in-game interaction to date, but it’s more than enough to tip the scales in Andrew’s favour. Neil’s rookie image is painted even darker.

Statistics are compared, histories are recovered, stories are made up. The more gossip-run sites say Kevin only recruited Neil to replace the hole that Andrew left in his shield. Some sites say that Andrew’s going to use Neil’s inexperience to flaunt his own talent back in Kevin’s face.

It’s a mess, and Neil helped make it.

Unlike before though, there are people who want to support him. Neil almost doesn’t believe it when old teammates from Arizona are recorded vouching his name, saying their praises, citing his grim determination as an advantage over Andrew Minyard.

In August, the Seakings start preseason practice, often hosting open practices for fans and reporters to sit in and watch. Kevin pushes Neil to play harder, even if it is against his own team, reminding him that the world is watching.

The world is watching, and once they witness that grim determination in action, the scales tip slightly under Neil’s weight. Reporters begin to comment positively on his accuracy. Fans start to show up at their practices with signs.

Neil can’t remember the last time a fan held up a sign with his name on it that wasn’t followed by massive black X’s.

It’s inspiring, and has Neil fighting more aggressively during practice to prove them all right, that he deserves their faith.

It’s inspiring until the day it isn’t, when the feud hits its next point, and then even Neil loses faith in himself.

The whole team is gathered in their lounge after practice, sweaty and exhausted, but whatever’s about to play on the TV is apparently more important than showering. Coach Mullens stands by the television with his arms folded, face grim, remote control clutched tightly in one hand.

When he’s sure he has his team’s attention, he faces the TV and clicks play on the remote.

All the way over in New York, the Nighthawks are having their own open practice. A sportscaster from ESPN talks at the camera, commenting on the team’s impressive technique as a scrimmage plays out.

Any reporter who knows Andrew Minyard knows the risks of putting a microphone in his face, yet that doesn’t stop this reporter from approaching him as he walks off the court, helmet in his hands and eyes uncaring as he attempts to walk past them.

“Andrew, what do you have to say about the current buzz surrounding Neil Josten of the San Francisco Seakings? He says he’s going to score on you, what do you think his chances are?”

Andrew stops abruptly and turns to face the camera, fixing it with a look that could shatter glass.

“To say he has a chance would give him false hope. There is no chance and there is no hope,” Andrew says, cooly. “If Neil ‘Pipe Dream’ Josten wants to challenge me in public, then he better be ready to be destroyed in public.”

Not sparing another breath or word, Andrew turns from the camera and walks away, leaving the reporter stunned in their spot.

There’s something satisfying about hearing Andrew say his name, but Neil can hardly focus on that when his chest suddenly feels ten times heavier.

Coach is talking, the team is murmuring, Kevin is sending an angry, frantic glance in Neil’s direction.

Neil stares at the TV screen, still seeing Andrew on it. His heart turns in panicked circles, spinning faster every time he replays Andrew’s sharp words.

His heart stops spinning, and decides to land on a feeling Neil hasn’t felt in awhile, a feeling that Andrew’s rivalry ignites; the silent swell of hope.

-

“You shook his hand,” is Kevin’s explanation for ripping Neil from his apartment at 10:00PM and dragging him to the stadium. “You started this, now you are going to find a way to end it.”

It’s incredibly jarring to be two souls in a stadium that seats thousands. Loud and echoey and all-consuming. Neil almost prefers it. He almost doesn’t quite mind the sleep deprivation that will follow. He almost thinks he can tolerate Kevin’s harsh words and harsher critique.

“Andrew doesn’t do challenges; he crushes them. By putting yourself in his path you’ve single-handedly obliterated our chances of facing them in the playoffs.”

Neil glares up at Kevin through the faceguard of his helmet. “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“You don’t know Andrew, he works on spite or not at all. He’ll personally see to it that you never make it within ten feet of his goal. Lucky for him, it should be rather easy.”

It aggravates Neil, but that was likely Kevin’s aim, to get Neil to push himself the next step forward. His shots are forced to be faster, more aggressive, until Neil’s every cell is cursing the very second that Kevin Day was born.

Their private practices continue until Neil feels reformed, shaped into something - better.

That feeling of such elevation might have gotten to his head, because at their next open practice with the team, a reporter asks Neil, “Are you excited for the season to start?”

And Neil easily responds with, “More excited than I’ve ever been. Kevin’s an incredible captain, and he’s shaping us all into a weapon. The Nighthawks should be scared, and Riko should be sorry.”

“Why’s that?”

“That he ever doubted Kevin in the first place,” Neil says, frowning a bit, as if the answer was obvious. “But he can apologize on our court come November.”

To the viewers and the multiple news outlets that try to analyze Neil’s statement, it sounds like good-natured team rivalry. It sounds like the role he’s meant to play - the rookie to Kevin’s captaincy, partners, together, a duo.

That’s not how it sounds to the Nighthawks.

Not at all, Neil realizes, the next day during a closed practice, when Riko Moriyama steps onto their court all the way from New York City.

The entire team falls silent.

Riko’s dressed in a blue so dark it could be black. His eyes scan the lines of their well-worn court as if the floor is fouling his shoes. The Seakings stand around in their gear, scrimmage paused, looking from one to the other with a million silenced questions. Their coaches stand in the inner court, equally quiet, not making any movements to signal a stop to Riko’s presence.

Laila’s the first to speak up, storming out of her goal as she rips her helmet off. “What the hell are you doing here? How’d you even get in?”

Riko doesn’t look at her, his glare trained on both Kevin and Neil.

“Your court is a shame to the very sport you play,” Riko says, crossing his arms over his chest. “My family invented this sport. It is not difficult for me to gain access to any and all stadiums.”

Despite their hostile history, and despite the anger rippling across his face, Kevin remains wordless.

“This is a private practice,” Neil finally says, after sending a disappointed look Kevin’s way. “You’re in violation of the rules.”

“My family invented this sport,” Riko repeats, more viciously, turning all his attention on Neil. “You are a mockery to it. What makes you think a rookie like you has the right to speak against my team? Your name does not belong anywhere near mine.”

“It wasn’t you I was challenging,” Neil says, as calm as he can make it. It’s not that Riko unnerves him, it’s that Riko irritates him, and it irritates Neil even more that Riko has the audacity to say such things while standing on the Seakings’ logo.

“I didn’t come alone,” Riko says, and doesn’t turn around when the court door suddenly slams open. “You think you can score on Andrew? Prove it.”

The Seakings remain dead quiet as somebody else steps onto the court, footsteps like gunshots off the floor. Andrew comes up towards them wearing his own team’s gear, clashing harshly with the aqua of the Seakings.

Andrew stops right behind Riko and swings his racquet up to rest against his shoulder, looking like he’s contemplating taking a nap in the next five seconds.

“I’m not doing this,” Neil says firmly, taking a step back.

That only strengthens Riko’s grave smile. “Then we can give ESPN a ring and have a reporter here in minutes. I’m sure they’d love to hear you admit defeat.”

“You can’t -”

“This is what you get when you run your mouth off with foul and false accusations. Do not make promises if you have no way to make them true. You will practice against Andrew until you finally see how dim your chances are.”

Riko sends a look Kevin’s way, something dark and controlling in his eyes, and Neil’s stomach sinks, knowing fully well how Kevin will respond to that look.

With a small sigh, Kevin steps up to Neil and grabs his racquet, halting it. “Don’t use all your energy at once,” he says, a red-hot warning low in his voice. “Pace yourself.” Then he gives the racquet’s net a tug and walks away, following Riko and the rest of the Seakings off the court.

Then it’s just Neil and Andrew, and suddenly Neil’s knees feel weak.

Ignoring that, because nothing about Andrew unnerves Neil either, he steadies his face and turns a look on his opposer, souring his expression as best he can. Despite that sourness, he manages a smirk. “I thought Riko didn’t own you.”

Andrew says nothing but sticks his racquet out to roll a ball towards himself. Without breaking eye contact, he flicks it up and sends it flying right at Neil’s helmet. It bounces off with a sharp smack, then rolls away.

Neil doesn’t back down from that challenge.

He follows Kevin’s advice and paces himself, firing perfunctory shot after shot, carefully thought out and planned. Andrew responds to that by standing completely still and tilting his racquet whichever way he knows Neil is going to swing.

Irritation itches under Neil’s skin. He’s giving nearly every percent he has and Andrew’s barely turned his switch on, but Neil doesn’t fall for it, doesn’t give his one-hundred just yet. He waits for Andrew to break patience first.

Tens of minutes later, or at least that’s how it feels, Andrew finally stops moving to stare at Neil blankly. He leans down to pick up a ball, tosses it slightly, then smacks it with all his might, firing it at Neil at a speed that could hurt him.

Slow doesn’t exist after that. Fast, faster, fastest, Neil dodges every shot and shoots them back even quicker. He runs and leaps and tries from a different angle every single time, but somehow Andrew just knows where they’re going to land. Neil might as well be shooting at a brick wall.

His blood hasn’t felt like this before, never been so hot. It burns with determination, infuriation, some primal sort of need flowing through him to shoot and score and to wipe that stupid look off Andrew’s stupid face.

After trying every trick he knows, he thinks back to night practice, and shifts his body into a move he’s seen Kevin perform.

Andrew is expecting that, too, and flicks the ball away with a short snap of his wrist.

Neil stands a few feet back from the goal, panting and doubled over, watching his failure of a ball roll shamefully away.

“Remember,” Andrew calls out, the mocking in his voice sounding almost like a song. “All the night practice with Kevin won’t change a thing, he will never keep his faith in you. A few more shots and he’ll be done with you for good.”

“No,” Neil grits out, and snaps into action, investing his last percent into charging the goal with every ounce of passion and hatred he has. Except when he swings his racquet back to fire a shot, all his muscles twist to a stop. It forces his grip slack, has him skidding to a halt.

Without momentum, the ball slides free of the net and hits the ground with a low thud.

The only body part that doesn’t burn are his eyes, so he watches the ball roll away, physically unable to reach out for it.

A banging on the court wall has Neil fumbling to find enough energy to look over. Kevin is making a cutting gesture at his neck, while Riko stands next to him, arms folded and face expressionless. The lack of smug satisfaction across Riko’s face is somehow worse than any at all.

Neil gasps out in defeat and doubles over, and doesn’t dare look up at Andrew, not even when there’s a tap against his helmet, the large net of Andrew’s racquet in his face.

“At least you tried,” Andrew says, and taps Neil’s helmet again.

“I never said I’m giving up,” Neil says back, just barely, before finally looking up at him.

The rest of the stadium vanishes, disintegrating quickly as Andrew leans forward, too close, as close as he was the night they met in the docks. The sound of his breath and his voice right by Neil’s ear shouldn’t sound so familiar, but it is.

Their helmets are all that separates them physically, but nothing can stop Andrew’s words from touching him. “Then until we meet again,” Andrew says, and it’s too much of a whisper to be a threat.

Andrew strolls off the court looking as if he hadn’t moved so much as a muscle while playing against Neil. Without another word to the Seakings, he and Riko disappear.

Footsteps break up the world of silence. Kevin rushes onto the court where Neil is now kneeling, his every body part on fire. “Neil.”

For whatever reason, there’s a defiant part of Neil that doesn’t want to look up, to meet the eyes of somebody who isn’t Andrew. Staring at Andrew had forced Neil to look as honest as he’s looked in months - he means it when he looks at Andrew with intent. Looking at anybody else will force a mask back on, and he’s not sure if he can fake it right now.

Kevin tugs at him when he remains quiet, gripping him roughly until he’s steady on his feet.

“He’s good,” Neil says distantly, staring at the court doors.

“You can’t beat him alone,” Kevin says somberly, and then, after a pause, “We have to do it together.”

It’s far from the harsh criticism Neil’s accustomed to. It draws his eyes to Kevin’s retreating figure as he walks away, trying to piece it all together.

He stays alone on the court for a few more minutes.

Showing Neil just how unattainable something is won’t make him want it any less. There’s fire in his muscles, a stinging suggestion that perhaps he won’t ever score on Andrew, but if anything, it only makes him want it more.

Riko’s the one who failed tonight.

Neil’s alone on the court, but he feels the ghost of Andrew’s closeness, and now more than ever, he can’t quite quell the hope of it.

-

Even with his arms stinging and burning, he couldn’t quite make himself go home.

So now he stands alone in the Seakings stadium, out on the court, envisioning where the ball would go if he stood here, or there, if he lifted the racquet like this and not that. The only conclusion he can come to though, is that no matter how he throws the ball, Andrew will be there to block it.

Neil wants to find it strange that he only feels determined in face of such an impossible challenge, but he doesn’t. What he does find strange is what he can’t explain; how ontop of determination, he feels put-off, disoriented, like there’s an answer in Andrew that is right there but Neil just can’t see it.

He can feel it though, like pinpricks and frustration and -

Shock.

Because when Neil turns around after staring at the goal for an endless minute, Andrew Minyard himself is standing in the open doorway to the court, leaning against the plexiglass frame with his arms crossed and his expression cool.

Neil suddenly lets out his breath and begins to smile, and the urge to figure things out disappears as he lets curiosity take over. He was tired before, tired and sore, but for some reason, with Andrew right there, he no longer feels like sleeping.

“Hey,” Neil says, taking off his helmet as he steps closer. He looks over Andrew’s head for something or somebody in the distance, but Andrew is alone. “Where’s Riko? Did he finally loosen your leash?”

Andrew’s expression hardens, then fades into blankness. “One would think that with all the time you spend talking about Riko that he owns you, as well.”

“So he does own you?”

Andrew ignores that and steps further into the court, walking a circle around Neil. “Your determination to play could be admirable if it weren’t so pathetic,” he says, eyes drifting to the racquet still in Neil’s hands. “What’s keeping you here?”

“Uh, well . . .” Neil looks at his racquet and realizes then how much it hurts to hold it. “I want to?”

“You want to, or you feel you’re expected to?”

Neil frowns and plucks at a string in the net. “There’s not much of a difference if I like doing it though, right?”

Andrew scoffs and makes another lap around Neil, never making eye contact as he walks. “Let’s play a new game,” he says while nodding. “It’s called ‘let’s not talk about Exy for five minutes’.”

Neil frowns again, but it’s quickly won over by a smirk. “You want me to stop talking about Exy? When we’re currently standing on an Exy court, in an Exy stadium, where I am dressed in my Exy gear, while holding my Exy racquet?”

Andrew pauses, face falling even more blank. “Can you do it or not?”

“Do I win anything if I do?”

Andrew finally looks at Neil then, his eyes narrowed as he thinks, then says, “To be determined.”

For some reason, Neil laughs.

And even though he hasn’t gone more than a minute without thinking about Exy over the past five years, Neil has never been one to back down from an impossible challenge . . .

“Okay, you’re on. Starting now.”

Except Neil hasn’t ever been faced with a challenge quite like this.

Andrew stares at Neil for the first thirty seconds, as Neil’s mouth forms different shapes and half-muttered words escape his lips only to be bit back down - because everything and anything he has to say has to be about Exy, the game, his team, his sponsors, his statistics, press pieces for the media and pre-written answers to endless repetitive questions and -

And he hasn’t ever been asked to talk about anything else.

“I - uh -” Neil stammers, heat flooding his face. “What do you want to talk about?”

Andrew’s eyes look as if they’re about to roll back. “How did you manage to complete college with the vocabulary of a two year old? What do you want to talk about?”

There’s a force in Neil’s throat, like the hand of someone controlling a puppet, about to make him say what they want him to say. He grits his teeth in time to stop himself and then sighs, giving his shoulders a slight shrug.

He doesn’t know what he wants to say, but he wants to say something.

Because Andrew stands there calmly, willing to listen.

“. . . my running shoes are beginning to break down,” is what Neil ends up saying, face flaming crimson now that the words are out. “I’ve put off buying a new pair though. I guess I hate spending money.”

He watches with his heart racing as one of Andrew’s eyebrows slowly lifts; clearly bored with Neil, and his pathetic attempt at normal conversation.

“I’m trying, okay?” Neil asks rather desperately, trying hard not to flinch as that eyebrow raises higher. “I’m not very interesting.”

All at once, Andrew smirks, and it transforms his entire face. He takes a step closer until he’s right in front of Neil, a powerful presence when compared to Neil’s nervous wreck of a body. He eyes the racquet that Neil’s still holding and threads his fingers through the net, giving it a quick tug.

“Your vocabulary is in need of a refresher, Neil,” Andrew says lowly, eyes flicking up to meet his. “I don’t think you understand what ‘interesting’ means. You win this round. ‘A’ for effort, and all that.”

He tugs on the racquet again before turning around to leave, and even when he’s gone, Neil doesn’t understand.

But he wants to.

[ivanaskye]

8+2 writing questions meme

@vardasvapors tagged me and I used doing this as a reward for dealing with airport security....

1. What are your current writing goals? Ohhh boy, okay, let’s see, I’ve got to get Šehhinah book 3 fully edited by March 9th, when I’m planning on publishing it … finishing drafting Evocation 3&4 … editing Evocation 2 … then editing the other Evocation books, obviously, once they’re drafted … outlining the series that takes place after Evocation … I think that’s as far as I have planned.  That should get me through some of the year!  Although let’s be real I probably haven’t even done cursory outlining of whatever I’ll be writing in November or whatever yet.

2. When did you first discover your love of writing? HAHAHAHAHA when DIDN’T I discover it.

Uhh ok no really … I learned how to read like really early and was always super into books.  “Book!  Book!” I apparently demanded of my mom like, all the time.  My physical ability to hold a pencil took longer to be a thing than my ability to read, and certainly longer than my ability to storytell, but there’s a whole collection of little stories I dictated to my mom as she wrote them down when I was three or four or so.  These include memorable lines such as “Yes, dear, a fire hydrant is very important” and “Buzzing! He couldn’t believe his eyes!” and “And then they drank all day and died.  This was a long time ago, when people used to do that sort of thing.”  There was also the story that ended in Pooh Bear and Piglet dying … and the one where Thomas the Tank Engine “took his medicine” and “didn’t do any bad things anymore” …

Not too long after those, there started being little things I’d write myself with pencil and paper.  For whatever reason the first that comes to mind is this song about winter (meant to be sung by Pooh Bear, obviously) which I think I wrote when I was six, that went “It’s snowing / it’s mowing / but I don’t mind // I’ve got furry furry fur to keep me warm and snuggly / because it’s winter!”  Gods, uh, I even still remember the tune for that actually.  Then again, I think I remember all the tunes of the bad songs I wrote as a kid.

Also by the way I still have basically all of this stuff.  I have like, a barely-even-started attempt at uh, a nonfiction book, bound by staples, about volcanoes … THE FREAKING FAIRY SLAVE STORY, involving a fairy enslaved by an evil witch at the age of six …

This kept ramping up in complexity until I was nine and decided that a good way to spend a three-week road trip would be to write an entire movie script.  Which I did; it was about sixty pages long once later typed up by my mom (these were the waning days before I really learned how to type), which by typical page-to-minute conversions for scripts, means it would have been about an hour long as a movie.  I did try to film it, and got partway through, but oh my Gods, that is a story for another time and this is already an essay and I’m only on the second question.

Keep in mind that on that same road trip I also attempted to start drawing several manga—most not making it past the third page—and did some Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic, and a number of other things besides …

Uhh anyway this brings us to March 9th, 2006, which is the “created on” date of my very first writing document on my computer!  It was four paragraphs long and terrible and I was a bit of a weeb, so the main character’s name was Subeteno Kakusei … there was this whole thing where like, she’d fight for Life in the daylight but switch personalities and fight for Death in the nighttime, but I got stuck and stopped writing when she asked, “and why is life bad?” and I couldn’t come up with the answer.  Uh.  Also this story itself was already a revamp of another story written on paper which had started out as a riff on Pokemon…

3. What motivates you to keep writing? UH WANTING TO REMAIN BREATHING, lmao.

No seriously though, that’s actually something I’ve said to people: “oh, yeah, I have to write every day, OR I WILL DIE.” And I mean??? I probably would?? Wtf is a not writing every day?  I mean, okay, yeah, I only started the daily thing at the beginning of 2016, but still…

Seriously though, writing makes me feel like myself, it’s kind of what I am…

4. How important is worldbuilding for your writing? VERY??? EXTREMELY??? A WHOLE BUNCH???? I absolutely 100% have to get the cosmology of a setting down before I can write in it.  It’s the most essential thing in my entire process and also the hardest.  That essential-ness is why I write secondary world stuff—I want to decide the cosmology Gods heck it!!  I get to display something, a possibility of something, that is good, where the world works in a way that feels right, where the very formation of how the world works including its magic system is supportive of people’s happiness.

The whole cosmology process requires heavy amounts of thinking and analyzing and even heavier amounts of believing in myself though, and I feel utterly exhausted after it every time.

For all the other parts of worldbuilding, I do better if I have it down ahead of time rather than expect myself to come up with stuff while drafting—because, lol, I won’t, I’ll make up a cool landscape if I give myself a minute to do it in outlining or worldbuilding but if I don’t have one when drafting, I will somehow just completely fail to come up with anything interesting at all.  But also, I like drafting way more than any other part of the writing process, so generally speaking I don’t worldbuild quite as much as I could or maybe should!

5. Pen on paper versus typing? Typing typing typing oh my Gods.

6. Favorite Author? OKAY UH … the obvious answer here is N.K Jemisin bc her most recent trilogy is perfect, and she has great subject matter AND a gorgeous writing style that’s just amazing, and, and.  But.  I don’t usually like to say someone’s my favorite unless I’m certain that the stuff they’re doing next is also going to be something I like, so I might defer Official Favorite Status to such a time as her next book is published!

In that case, the backup favorite would be Brandon Sanderson…

7. Something you do to get the creative juices flowing to write? Coffee.

But more seriously … to get the creativity flowing to write, I write.  It’s a habit.  There is no muse.  There’s no use in waiting for inspiration to strike.  You have to make it happen anyway.  You have to just keep going and believe, and believe.

(More generalizing than I would normally say, but I highkey feel this one…)

8. Do you write better at night, or first thing in the morning? Morning! This past month is the first period of time for two years where I’ve not felt like I’m dying if writing isn’t the first thing I do in the morning … if only because I trust I’ll end up doing it for three hours in the afternoon anyway.  I can pretty much write any time of day now but I’m most attuned to doing it in the morning.  With coffee…

9. How do you take your coffee/tea? Cappuccinos are very important to my lifestyle.  BY CAPPUCCINO, I specifically mean equal parts espresso, steamed milk, and foam—but the foam is mixed into the milk, it isn’t just spooned on top, so basically it’s foamy milk.  The drink should be approximately 8oz.  It includes two shots of espresso.  The most preferred types of espresso tend to be Ethiopian, but anything with a bright flavor is great (which still is very most often African beans, with Ethiopian almost always as the best!).

…So, ok, maybe I’m a little particular…

10. If you could only live with one season for the rest of your life, what would it be? I’d say summer except that in many ways nighttime is more important to me than the day and also I lived in Hawaii for the better part of 4 years and the constant heat was too much for me.  So uh.  Uhhh.

I do need a lot of sunlight though, and even more than that clear skies!  I need starlight!  And moonlight!  So any season where I can get those things, and where the temperature’s not too hot but not like horribly cold either.  (Of late, my cold tolerance has outpaced my heat tolerance, but it too has limits.)

Tagging @lcmawson, predictably.

[literaphobe]

i’m in love with a girl i hate (she enjoys, pointing out every bad thing about me)

this is... the drama club AU. i honestly have no idea how to summarize this without giving stuff away so you know what?? YOU should read this and send me a summary!! (you don’t have to but it could be fun who knows) ANYHOOZLE heads up this is not a one shot,, this is chapter one (6.6k words, just sayin) of what i’m gonna call the drama club AU. jake and amy are here, this is a peraltiago AU,, the squad’s all there so just roll with this!!

(title from She’s A Lady by Forever the Sickest Kids)

“This is gonna be your what- hundredth school production?” Kylie snorts over the phone. “You might actually act yourself to death if you keep doing this.”

“It’s fun, Kylie. Memorizing lines, bringing joy to an audience-”

“You mean getting standing ovations and praise, or approval of some kind?” Kylie interjects without a moment’s hesitation. “Amy, I may have moved to a new school district, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten your validation craving ass.”

Amy huffs, but it’s light-hearted and lacking any sort of malice, because Kylie is absolutely right. She yearns for approval, especially when it comes from authority figures, people she respects, etc.

“Fine. I guess I do love all of that. But even if I hated acting, I’m attached to the club at this point. I wouldn’t leave.”

“Ah, Jake Peralta must’ve finally grown on you-”

“Shut up! He’s unbearable!”

If Amy were forced to pick one aspect of theatre she found the most tiring, insufferable, vexing, and draining to experience- it would be Jake. Hands down. She wouldn’t even have to consider it. Jake Peralta is annoying, full of himself, tells stupid jokes, and oh yeah- they’re enemies, something mutually declared since elementary school.

“Lies, lies, lies,” Kylie drawls sultrily. “Surely years of playing lovers doth drawn you close?”

Amy groans into the receiver to express her disgust as dramatically as possible. “No- no no no no no! That doesn’t even make sense!”

High school brought upon a mysterious phenomenon that was an absolute curse to Amy. For the past three years, Jake and Amy have been cast as lovers in every single school production they’ve acted in. That’s right-- Every. Single. One. Their director Raymond Holt insists he’s not doing it on purpose- they are apparently the only actors in the club exhibiting the right chemistry to portray lovers.

This knowledge appalls them both, but it’s a good thing playing romantic counterparts usually comes with lead roles. Everyone loves a good romance, but no one loves love more than their scriptwriter, Terry Jeffords, whom they mostly refer to as Terry. Terry makes a living playing in the NFL, writing plays for their school as a hobby. He’s an alumni student with a knack for language, and a degree in theater studies to back it up. His plays are witty and poetic, but most significantly riddled with romance and thus he always has his main characters fall in love with each other.

“Come on- it’s got to mean something if they keep casting the two of you as a couple. And don’t give me that enemy crap- enemies hardly talk to each other, and they definitely don’t play lovers on stage.”

“Hey, we have no say in the casting! And I wish he wouldn’t talk to me- we’re not friends, and we never will be.”

Kylie pauses, withholding response to ponder over this. Amy was being unnecessarily hostile regarding Jake- sure they were ‘enemies’, but Kylie would actually categorize their relationship as more of an off-and-on friendship.

Of course, they were nothing but vicious to each other before high school-- Jake and Amy used to go head to head for lead characters, and considered the other their biggest competitor when it came to casting. Director Holt always made sure there was no bias in his scripts, giving rise to gender neutral roles that meant Jake and Amy were always on equal footing to fight over main characters.

That was the most stark similarity about them- their competitiveness. But their shared competitiveness was matched with passion and talent, putting the two of them among Director Holt’s favorites. Eventually, he started casting them as romantic counterparts- whether this was a ploy to force Jake and Amy to overcome their differences was something only the man himself would know.

In short, Jake and Amy’s relationship became more amicable after they started high school, although they often clash resulting in bouts of annoyance and resentment (usually caused by Jake and experienced by Amy).

Kylie’s point is-- Amy doesn’t get this mad and insistent about Jake and her being enemies unless he does something to majorly piss her off, which leads her to believe…

“He made one of those 'title of your sex tape’ jokes again, didn’t he?”

“I’m hanging up.” This means Kylie is a hundred percent right.

“Hey, calm down! They’re a little funny.”

“How could you be on his side?”

“I’m not! Maybe…” Kylie smirks. “Those 'jokes’ are his way of saying he wants to have se-”

“GOODBYE, KYLIE.”

She hangs up for real after that.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL, 0807 HOURS, JAKE AND AMY’S HOMEROOM

Amy watches unfazed but with a rapt attention as Jake shuffles into class minutes late without a shred of urgency. He spots her disapproving frown immediately, waving shamelessly before placing a finger over his lips- as if he were worried about getting caught. Their homeroom teacher Mr McGintley is fast asleep on his desk, snores rolling out in crescendos and diminuendos.

“Hey desk buddy,” Jake greets blithe and casual as he settles in the seat next to Amy, maliciously rubbing in the new fact that they’re desk partners. Assigned to sit together. For an entire school year. It’s only for homeroom and Global Studies, but still.

“You’re seven minutes late,” she cuts in bluntly, her face burning with a glower. She hates how ostentatious his attitude towards late-coming is, although to be fair Jake’s existence generally tends to irk her in and of itself.

“Who died and made you teacher?” He teases, noisily dumping his duffle bag on the table and carelessly rummaging through it for god-knows-what.

Amy points at their unconscious teacher. “Does he look alive to you?”

Laughter bubbles in Jake’s throat, which sweetens Amy’s bitter mood. He often has a tendency to be the most annoying person on the planet, but his laughter rings and chimes, uplifting and contagious to all who hear it.

“Okay okay, I actually have a good reason for being late-” he finally pulls what he’s been looking for out his bag (which she notes with a grimace, is full of trash), revealing a large packet of gummy worms. “I bought sour candy from the bodega that’s shutting down! Their prices now are dope-ishly low.”

“That’s not a valid reason,” it’s not Amy’s job to care, but she’s stating a fact. Buying candy has never been and never will be accepted as a pardon for being late to school. “Also 'dope-ishly’ is not a word.”

“Aww, don’t frown you sour clown-” he coos mushily, which disgusts Amy. “I got you something too.”

A flash of intrigue passes over her face, but is soon replaced with skepticism.

“Really,” she says flatly. “Don’t tell me it’s candy.”

“Fine, I won’t tell you-” yet he reaches into his bag and pulls out a pen which nearly gets Amy shrieking.

Which might seem to be an overreaction, but this isn’t just any old pen- it’s a limited edition fountain pen that Amy remembers complaining about being out of stock the week before.

She’s in shock.

“Why did you- how did you-”

“Chillax. I saw it while buying candy and bought it since I had extra cash. It was the last one. You’re welcome.”

Amy looks up at him disbelievingly. “You bought this at a bodega?”

“No,” he corrects. “I was buying candy on the way home yesterday too. And it was in the stationary store next door.”

Amy forces herself not to disapprove of or form any sort of judgement regarding his addiction to sugar. He did, after all, buy her an expensive fountain pen she had been searching for for weeks. “How did you… remember? How did you even know?”

“No biggie. You wouldn’t stop yappin’ on about it, ‘course I heard everything. And don’t think I did this for you–” he waggles his finger playfully–“I did this for Karma.”

Amy snorts, straightening in her seat because whatever Jake’s about to say next is probably going to be good.

“You did this for luck?”

“Specifically, so that we won’t get cast as a couple again this year,” he explains, and this logic resonates with Amy.

“Oh, yes. I’d love for that not to happen.”

“So we’re on the same page, good. Because full offense, but I wanna do actual cool stuff this year, not practice making goo-goo eyes at you all the time.”

Amy nods her assent. “Agreed.”

“Nice. And just in case the universe hasn’t caught up-” Jake takes the fountain pen from Amy’s hands, before presenting it to her again in a formal gesture. “This is me–” he looks up at the ceiling, speaking to the universe–“doing something nice for Amy Santiago.”

“And this is me-” Amy continues, looking up at the ceiling as well, surprising Jake with how seriously she’s taking this. “-accepting his nice act of kindness.”

After a delayed pause, they break apart, Jake returning the fountain pen to Amy.

“That better work. Here’s to not being onstage lovers.”

The bell rings then, and they part ways for classes where they won’t have to sit together.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1803 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (AUDITIONS)

“–the role of Johnny will be played by Jake, and lastly, the role of Dora will be taken on by Amy.”

“Yes!” Jake fist-pumps excitedly, whooping and cheering boisterously as his voice echoes throughout the theater.

It seems Karma is working in his favor- Johnny’s a badass (as far as Jake can tell from the script excerpts they read for auditions), and he seems to have no interest in romantic entanglements whatsoever. In fact, none of the script excerpts seem to reveal any sort of romance in the play at all. Terry must’ve finally grown sick of the lovers thing, thank god (or Karma).

Plus, Johnny is long for John, and Terry hasn’t revealed character last names yet, but in Jake’s mind Johnny’s last name is definitely McClane.

“Please do limit your reactions,” Holt reminds pointedly, his words directed at Jake, specifically.

“Sure. But like… my passion for theater overwhelms thy?” Jake attempts, failing miserably to make any sense. It will probably be best for his pursue of theatrics to end with high school.

Thankfully, any negative reaction from Holt gets interrupted by Terry, who nearly bursts through the doors in excitement.

“The scripts are printed!” He announces, relief evident in his voice. The printing shop had messed up that morning, and thus he could only get parts of the script to school on time for auditions.

“Excellent,” Holt remarks with a slight nod. “All speaking roles in the play have thus been assigned, and I’ll start working with the ensemble in our upcoming session. We shall also be doing a script read, so kindly go through the script on your own when you return home. Gina, do send me a text message if you have any suggestions regarding ensemble work.”

“Aight,” says Gina, leader of the ensemble, and the reason why they have at least three dance numbers every performance. Holt took a liking to her years ago, seeing promise and potential in her, which he could not be more right about.

“If there are no further questions, you are all dismissed. Have a good rest.”

JAKE’S BEDROOM, 2347 HOURS, WAY PAST HIS BEDTIME BUT WHO CARES, HIS MOM STOPPED ENFORCING THAT YEARS AGO

Three-ty (so, thirty) five games of Kwazy Cupcakes later (don’t judge him, he was this close to beating Gina’s score), Jake rolls over and puts his phone down to charge, catching sight of his script and deciding to leaf through it before going to bed.

He decides he likes Johnny well enough, although he doesn’t actually turn out as similar to John McClane as Jake would prefer- he’s still pretty cool in his own way.

Jake nearly shuts his script when he notices something at the bottom of the page-

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

What? This couldn’t be happening!

Jake reads through the script again and again, scrutinizing the interactions between Johnny and Dora- crap, Amy was playing Dora!

His chest tightens nervously as he flips the pages, words blurring together as he begins to full-on freak out. This can’t be, his eyes must be playing tricks on him- why was there a kiss?

The only thing that surfaces to his mind as he tosses his script halfway across the room is that Karma- is an absolute bitch, as they say, and doing anything good is pointless because the universe doesn’t care what you do. In fact, doing something nice- like getting Amy the fountain pen she wanted so badly and making her eyes widen like they always do over nerdy stuff- was only going to result in something worse- like having to kiss Amy.

SOMEWHERE IN BROOKLYN, 0758 HOURS, EN ROUTE TO BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL

Jake frantically reads through the script again, praying, hoping, that what he discovered last night was all part of a dream (or some horrific nightmare) and that Johnny’s actually just as cool if not even cooler than John McClane, super badass- and most importantly, doesn’t have to suck face with anyone.

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

God damnit- no! Jake nearly rips the script in frustration, but his scripts are almost always subject to wear and tear anyway (unlike Amy’s neatly filed scripts with her lines highlighted, neatly margined with post-its containing actor’s notes), so it would make no difference, really.

What was he going to do? He has to kiss Amy, for god’s sake, and that’s (obviously) something they’ve never done. Yes, they’ve been playing lovers onstage for three years straight, but they have never, ever, had to kiss.

Until now, apparently.

Jake plods in dread, each footstep he takes slowing with every pace. He’s really not looking forward to school today.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL, 0809 HOURS, JAKE AND AMY’S HOMEROOM

Amy’s staring into space, not bothering to acknowledge Jake’s tardiness, not even glancing over when Jake trudges in (significantly quieter than usual). She seems to be deep in concentration, or confusion, or heck it could be happiness- Jake can’t say for sure, because he feels much too awkward about the whole situation to look at her too.

“Hey,” he finally says, because the silence wants to kill him, and they can’t not talk about this.

“Hey,” she mumbles, fiddling with her hair absentmindedly, actions Jake’s not used to seeing Amy take.

“Okay, I’ll come right out and say it because you obviously read the whole script first thing when you got home- what the hell is up with that kiss?”

“I know right?” Amy snaps and words roll out her mouth, unstoppable. “It makes no sense to me! Why in the world would a strong, independent woman like Dora be interested in someone like Johnny?”

Jake tenses. “I wouldn’t go that deep yet- my issue was mainly the smooching.”

To be fair, Amy had not read the entire script like Jake assumed. She too, got freaked out when she realized what was going to happen between their characters and could barely process any more words after that. Her impression of Dora was largely based on the material they received during the auditions, and the way she had planned to portray her.

Amy gulps, receding back to her previous disposition. “Yeah. That- I don’t- why would Terry do something like that?”

Jake shrugs. “Maybe Holt’s gonna hate it. I mean, maybe he doesn’t know about the kiss yet, and he’ll tell Terry to cut it.”

“Maybe.”

“Or we can protest- right? Holt will hear us out. They can’t make us kiss.”

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1520 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (REHEARSAL)

They’re completely wrong- Holt loves Terry’s script to bits.

“Dare I say, Jeffords, this could very well be your best work,” he remarks, shaking his head in pride as he reads through the script.

“Thank you, Sir, that means a lot to hear.”

Jake and Amy exchange panicked looks- neither of them want to protest against the script after hearing something like that. One other thing they have in common is not wanting to disappoint Holt (although Jake would never admit this), which means they have to suck it up and… suck face.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1525 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (WATER BREAK BEFORE FIRST SCRIPT READ)

“Okay what if-” Jake suggests as Amy nervously gulps water. “We got the wrong script?”

Amy’s face contorts doubtfully. “How would that happen?”

“Maybe–” his fingers tap against the drywall–“the kiss was in an earlier draft of Terry’s play, but he cut it out, but it didn’t change for our scripts.”

Amy’s eyes brighten with a glimmer of hope. “It’s a very slim chance, but…”

The two break off immediately, determined to check as many scripts as possible in order to test their theory.

Jake spots Charles nearby, working on a list of props they’ll need to make, using the script as reference. Ever since he’s been promoted to Head Of Props, Charles has taken a bit of a backseat acting-wise by taking on smaller roles, which isn’t a problem at all because he’s absolutely brilliant with props. Charles has delicate and dainty fingers perfect for crafting the most sturdy and beautiful props, thus making him the right person for the job.

“Hey buddy, can I take a look at that?” Jake trails on with an air of nonchalance, grabbing the script and quickly scanning through it before Charles even realizes it’s out of his hands.

“Sure, I’ll just work on this later. You forgot your script again, huh?” He teases, but lacking any sort of judgement.

“Nah, me and Amy are just checkin’ in case we don’t actually have to kiss in the play.”

“YOU AND AMY HAVE TO KISS?!”

Charles shocks Jake, the entire club, Holt, Terry, the building, and possibly the entire world with his explosive response. He’s on his feet now, eyes wide open and fingers curled in excitement.

While his outburst was a shock, Charles’ happiness comes at no surprise to Jake. The former often tries to persuade Jake that his supposed 'hatred’ for Amy is in actual fact, a huge crush. Their repeated claims to be enemies mean nothing to Charles’ heart.

“OH, YOU PROBABLY MEAN BLUE AND CREAMY HAVE TO CHEESE, CHARLES!” Jake yells, just as loudly in a desperate attempt to cover up, which is completely useless since everyone definitely heard Charles loud and clear.

“Really, Charles?!” Jake whispers in a harsh tone which does nothing to tear down Charles’ jubilation.

“Not sorry, Jake. This is destiny!”

“No, this is not destiny, this is something that can’t happen!” Jake settles with a frustrated sigh in a nearby seat. “At least you not knowing probably means we don’t really have to kiss.”

“Uh, actually Jake- I haven’t read the whole script.”

“What? Charles!” Jake picks the script back up and furiously searches again.

“I’m sorry! I only have a few lines, and I needed to catch up on homework.”

Jake freezes in place suddenly, which gets Charles grinning wide and leaning over to read the line:

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

Jake groans in denial, getting him strange looks from some, but smirks from many others that already know what Jake and Amy have to do.

Almost everyone knows by the time the script read starts, and it gets people looking at Jake and Amy suggestively, to say the least.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1530 HOURS, DRAMA CLUB (FIRST SCRIPT READ)

It only gets worse from there. People don’t just look at Jake and Amy, they’re affected, jittery and giggly as they mess up lines, recite with the wrong emotions.

Jake and Amy, on the other hand, are awkward and their delivery is lifeless. They too, fail to maintain any semblance of professionalism.

Holt stops the script read halfway through.

“I am incredibly disappointed in you all. This childish buffoonery is something I wouldn’t dream of receiving even from actors in elementary school- of which, the few of you that I worked with then displayed better performance than you currently are. If everyone doesn’t get their act together– literally, I will cancel this year’s play effective immediately. Am I clear?”

His anger has everything. Enunciated denunciations, finger pointing, and wordplay delivered with a serious face. Everyone shrivels in shame at having let down their respected director, most of all Jake and Amy. They know they’ve caused the club to lose focus for the craft, and they themselves have also failed to keep up their standards and live up to Holt’s expectations.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1750 HOURS, DRESSING ROOM (ONE WEEK LATER)

The past week was one of silence between Jake and Amy. Things are awkward, and they haven’t spoken since getting very thoroughly chewed out by Holt the week before. Neither has bothered striking up a conversation which makes class quiet and boring, but it’s better than having to confront the issue.

Except, things have improved from last rehearsal. Everyone takes the script read seriously, pleasing Director Holt which makes him decide to start blocking scenes. His focus this rehearsal is largely on scene transitions, as it’s too early to experiment with props and set. As a result, things are moving quickly, actors running on and off stage with their scripts and saying their lines, barely making the effort to experiment with any actions.

That’s actually the problem here, for Jake and Amy. Things are moving much too quickly, and they know their kiss scene is coming up. They won’t be 'saved by the bell’ or allowed to skip that scene because that’s not Holt’s style, and they can’t go on stage and beat about the bush about having to kiss, because it might make Holt angry again.

Everyone’s doing a great job today, including Jake and Amy, and they can’t ruin that because they’re getting all freaked out about touching lips. It’s a kiss, that likely won’t last more than a few seconds, and it’s not like they’ve never kissed other people. Jake’s had two girlfriends, like the goddamn rockstar he is, and Amy used to date Teddy, a fucking loser Jake hates, but Amy used to make out with that blob, so he’s (unfortunately) still being noted as part of Amy’s past kissing experience. Her kissing resume, or her kissing portfolio, if you will.

Point is- Jake and Amy have never kissed each other, and they’ll never want to, but they very likely have to within the next hour or so regardless of their feelings, and that’s why Jake’s now standing in the dressing room, having followed Amy in.

Somehow, she’s not even surprised and seems to have no intention of kicking him out.

“Hey,” she says, swallowing awkwardly as she leans against the corner of the dressing table. Jake fares no better in looking cool, and is so close to the door he might as well not have entered the room in the first place.

“Hey,” he says, and then he cracks because this pressure is crazy unbearable and one of them has to take the plunge and go for it, right?

“Okay so- things are moving real fast rehearsal wise, and I don’t think we can skip… y'know.”

Amy nods rapidly, picking at her skin. “Yeah, I know. We’ll probably have to be on stage soon, give or take a few minutes.”

Jake takes a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. He can’t believe he’s actually going to suggest this, even though it’s literally why he followed Amy into this dressing room.

“Look- we’re gonna have to do it eventually, so you wanna just… practice before we have to do it for realz? I don’t want Holt to go batshit crazy again, and if we mess this up everyone’s gonna laugh in our faces.”

Amy nods, and it seems like it’s the only thing she’s been capable of this entire conversation.

“I mean, Gina’s convinced it’s gonna be the kiss of the century in terms of sloppiness and unwillingness, so we gotta at least prove her wrong about our kiss being 'Youtube-viral’ bad.”

This gets Amy to crack a smile- it’s half-hearted of course, but her tense and overly quiet demeanor had been far too worrying to get subjected to, and although Jake’s not exactly throwing a parade in excitement over having to kiss her, he hasn’t nearly been this unresponsive.

“Yeah, let’s do this,” she tacks on with a lip bite. “Lock the door.”

Jake titters to lighten the mood. “And I thought we were leaving it wide open so everyone could watch,” but he locks the door.

They both take a deep breath. Several deep breaths.

“We’re really doing this,” he says, and it’s possible he’s never felt so anxious about- anything, really.

“Yup. We are about to kiss. To practice. For stage. Play-” she sucks in a tight breath, because she’s clearly freaking out about this too.

“Okay, we’re making this out to be too big a deal. On three, we kiss. Okay? One-”

“-who’s doing the counting?” She interjects unintentionally, eyes widening when she realizes he had already started counting and she had just interrupted him, stopping his flow and making everything worse.

“God damnit, Ames, you’re-”

“Screw it- onetwothree,” she stammers before grabbing his shirt and pulling in for a kiss.

Jake’s caught completely off guard at first and his late response is slow and cautious. Amy’s lips feel uncertain and scared against his so he decides to meet her efforts at initiation with a bit more confidence. They’re practicing kissing, right? He knows how to kiss kinda, so he’s not gonna give her half-assed snorkeling and starts properly moving his lips.

Her hands are still clutching his shirt tight and stiff, so he places his arms around her waist because he has no where else to put them, and holding them up like he’s being held hostage is probably not something he should produce on stage.

The strange thing is, they actually start getting into a little bit of a rhythm, and it’s… not bad.

Okay, it’s more than just not bad, it’s good, it’s really good and it just gets better by the second.

Jake’s insistent lips encourage a more passionate and fiery response from Amy, and that’s when things spiral out of control.

Jake sees stars when Amy shoves him against the wall, her hands no longer just crumpling his un-ironed shirt but instead grazing his sides. It’s strangely a sensation he enjoys- her hands are gentle but ambitious, they want more than they’re getting, and Jake wants to give Amy’s hands whatever they want.

By the time Jake meets Amy’s tongue, not stuck out at him in petty annoyance, but delving into his mouth, warm and playful; he’s completely lost in pleasure. Kissing Amy is ecstasy, pure heaven, and he hums in delight at the talent of her lips with each smack and lick.

Jake and Amy completely lose themselves, forgetting everything around them, the reason why they started kissing in the first place slipping from their minds. Their hearts are pounding no longer from nervousness but from the intensity of their actions. Their kiss seems to have no end, only slowing down now and then with no signs of stopping. Their minds are blank, completely blank, because somehow getting sucked into what is currently the most mind-blowing kiss of either of their lives leaves little space for critical thinking.

Jake’s hands leave Amy’s waist and begin combing through her hair, she bucks up against his lips and Jake smiles, he takes note of this for future-

“JAKE IF YOU’RE IN THERE GET ON STAGE ITS TIME FOR THE KISS SCENE!”

Jake and Amy split apart, Charles’ (very excited) voice waking them up like getting dunked in a bucket of ice. They’re panting heavily, having pushed each other away in sheer horror. Jake’s not looking at Amy, Amy’s not looking at Jake, they’re both just staring at different areas of space trying to pump enough oxygen back into their brains.

Which is when Jake starts to truly panic.

What on earth just happened? His lips, and Amy’s lips, touched and did something and it was magical and beautiful and honestly kinda sexy and she was sexy and the kiss was super hot and- Jake is a complete mess who may or may not want to grab Amy and start kissing her again.

Because holy smokes that felt good. Really good, the best damn kiss of Jake’s life. And seeing Teddy and knowing what a loser he is he probably did a crap job of kissing Amy too so heck, assuming Amy hasn’t kissed anyone else, could be the best kiss of her life too! Just saying!

“I think we have to go,” and Amy’s words descend Jake into new levels of dismay.

They were going to have to kiss now. In front of Holt, and anyone else watching- they were going to have to kiss each other.

Jake could be considered an idiot for freaking out about having to kiss Amy after just kissing Amy– but that’s the entire point. He kissed Amy. When really, he should’ve just lightly smooched Amy. Or pecked her on the lips. But no, they just had to make out for god knows how long, and he’s freaking out because the way they just sucked face is definitely not how they should suck face on stage. Or anywhere, really. Their kiss was something he wouldn’t recommend showing to kids.

Because as Jake recalls all too clearly (due to reading it over and over to make sure it was real), the script calls for:

Johnny leans forth, embracing Dora in a gentle, chaste kiss.

See? A cute, PG-rated kiss that kids could see and go aw, not their violent slamming against walls, hair-pulling mess that would make children cry, scarring them for life.

What they need (in about seconds from now) is a sweet, innocent kiss– not Thirty Seconds Before Porn. And given how they failed to do that in the dressing room, Jake isn’t sure they’ll be able to pull it off now.

They approach the stage carefully, steps loaded with dread when they realize Holt is no longer in the audience. Instead, they see almost everyone from the club, with Gina and Rosa sitting in the front row. For some strange reason, everyone has popcorn, Gina and Rosa most of all.

“Where did Holt go?” Amy asks, genuinely curious, although Jake can’t help but note a degree of relief in her voice.

“Family emergency,” Rosa explains, mouth full of popcorn. She has no business staying here right now, being in charge of both lights and sound (yeah, Rosa’s good), and it’s too early in the stage of production for her to be of use. She’s required to turn up for club sessions, of course, but Rosa’s definitely not supposed to be sitting in the front row, eating popcorn like she’s about to watch her favorite movie in theater for the third time in a row.

In fact, none of the club members are supposed to be sitting in the audience seats right now as per Holt’s rules, let alone the whole club.

“Then why are we all still here? Doesn’t this mean rehearsal’s over?” Jake questions.

“Nuh uh,” Gina explains, mouth full of popcorn as well. Where they all got their popcorn is a mystery, but not a prioritized concern. “Holt says I gotta make sure y'all get the kiss right, he says he wants to see it next rehearsal.”

Jake rolls his eyes. “Fine-” he grabs Amy’s face and plants a kiss smack on her lips before pulling away, taking her by surprise. “Can we go home now?”

Some people whoop in excitement, others gasp in shock at actually seeing Jake and Amy kiss, albeit briefly. Charles starts tearing up, which Jake pretends he doesn’t see.

“NO,” Gina narrows her eyes, which only makes Rosa break into a wide grin. “Not good enough. Do you want me to tell Holt y'all ain’t taking this seriously?”

Jake and Amy protest against this apologetically. Gina’s threats hold real power because Holt trusts in Gina and her judgement. If she were to tell Holt that Jake and Amy weren’t taking parts of the play seriously, he would believe her, and that’s not something either of them want.

“How long do you even want us to kiss for?” Amy asks, her tone impatient but question valid.

“Forever,” Charles sighs with a dreamy smile, and it kind of scares Jake if he’s being honest.

“Give it at least ten seconds,” Gina relents, and Jake and Amy shrug because hey, that’s reasonable.

Except when they do kiss, it’s awkward and strange all over again because they seem to be holding back (because they are holding back), and they’re kissing weird and with restraint, something they would’ve expected from themselves if they had not practiced. So their practice session had been practically useless.

The crowd goes wild- not with applause, but with jeers and taunts. They’re being booed by the drama club, especially Gina and Rosa who hurl popcorn at them, eventually prompting them to stop kissing because things are getting way too crazy.

“COME ON, GET SOME TONGUE IN THERE!” Gina yells.

“GRAB EACH OTHERS ASSES!” Rosa adds just as aggressively.

Only Charles remains loyal and still touched by their kiss, and after all the hubbub dies down everyone slowly leaves the theatre to go home because Gina and Rosa had lied about rehearsal not being over and everyone had went along with it to see Jake and Amy kiss.

BROOKLYN ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL THEATER, 1804 HOURS, DRESSING ROOM

Amy walks back to the dressing room (after Gina announces that rehearsal’s over) which thankfully no one is around to witness, especially since she hears Jake’s footsteps behind following her.

He locks the door, a smart move that nearly gets Amy blushing.

“So um, that went horribly,” she starts, because it really did, and she kind of wants to talk about how intense their kiss from before got but she doesn’t know how to even begin to approach the situation.

“Mmhmm, yeah,” Jake slurs in a way that Amy knows usually means he’s not listening to a word she’s saying. She’s about to chide him but when she looks up he’s very obviously staring at her lips. She’s almost surprised but the attention he adorns her with makes it hard to look away. His eyes on her makes Amy feel like the most prized possession one could only wish for.

This heated exchange of gazes snaps and Amy’s not sure who surges forth first but they’re kissing again, and it’s somehow even better than the first time– it’s more desperate, it starts much faster and needier than their last, and it feels absolutely incredible.

Kissing Jake is more than just kissing- his arms are wrapped around her more firmly now, his hands running rampant up and down her back; desire pools at the pit of her belly because his lips declare want and need, insufferable need without using words and his hands feel so ridiculously good, Amy both wishes and would hate for his hands to leave her back and touch her elsewhere.

Embarrassingly, Amy’s so overwhelmed by pleasure she lets out a wordless moan that gets Jake chuckling noiselessly against her lips. She finally comes to her senses and pushes him away.

“Okay- that, that’s just weird,” she puts it out there, because it is weird, super weird-

“Uh, huh,” he shifts, voice strained.

“We- we’re supposed to hate each other,” she says, and it comes out almost as a reminder, a memo that hey, they’re still enemies and enemies do not make out… like that.

“Oh yeah, I like, super hate you too,” he’s very unconvincing, but Amy can’t blame him for not hating her guts after what they just did. It was freaking amazing, even if she says so herself.

“So what does-”

“-but maybe this isn’t about us, or hating each other, or anything. Maybe we’re just super good actors and it shows.”

Amy considers this. “Huh.”

“Right?”

“Okay but- when Teddy and I used to kiss it was never anything like that.”

Jake grins wide and proud, and Amy almost rolls her eyes because great, she just gave him more reason to be super full of himself.

“Hmm, never would’ve guessed,” he teases, but Amy can’t even bring herself to get mad. “But like, ditto. It was never like that for me either, but Teddy isn’t an actor, and neither were my exes.”

Amy nods. “That’s true.”

“So maybe it’s just one of those actor chemistry thingies. And we’re just good at kissing. And that’s why–” his hand extends, gesturing back and forth–“this, y'know.”

“Yeah, I think I get what you mean,” Amy crosses her arms. “So since we’ve pretty much nailed this kissing thing, we should stop practicing?”

“What? NO-” Jake protests, with an intensity that scares Amy.

“Why not?”

“No, I don’t think we should stop at all. In fact, I think we need to keep practicing.”

Amy raises an eyebrow in interest. A part of her is curious about how Jake will explain himself. Another small, very small part she’s barely aware of, wants him to admit he wants to keep kissing her… purely because of how enjoyable he finds it.

“Why?”

“You think they’re gonna let us up on stage with a kiss like that Parents will sue, just like they did when Charles played Daddy Warbucks in our production of Annie-”

“Ew, no! Gross gross gross! Please don’t remind me of that,” she begs with her fingers curled up and her eyes tight shut. She doesn’t know this, but Jake finds it to be almost cute.

“Amy-” he continues, “we have to focus all our energy into making this kiss as un-sexy and school friendly as we possibly can.”

“That was sexy to you?” Amy teases, almost because she wants to hear him admit it, somehow making her worst enemy (that makes sex tape jokes insinuating that she’s a boring prude) admit that something she did/participated in was sexy is appealing to her.

Jake looks at Amy incredulously, like she’s got to be kidding him. “Amy, you moaned.”

Amy’s breath catches in her throat, because she knows she did, and she knows she was loud enough for him to hear, and she knows she pulled away specifically because she had moaned, and because of his reaction to it but- hearing him lay it all out makes it so much more real, and she’s now tongue tied and her cheeks are burning more and more with each passing second.

He knows he’s got her feeling shy, and he responds with a shallow laugh. “Relax, it’s cool, it happens. And it was pretty hot, I’ll give you that-” this makes Amy feel like convulsing, “but it’s exactly that kind of stuff that we need to get rid of before we take this kiss from the page-to-the-stage.”

Amy inhales sharply, and builds up the nerve to look up at him. “Okay, I’m in.”

“You are? Cool. Okay so- I don’t think we should keep practicing in here because people are eventually gonna find out and ask why we keep going to the dressing room together and locking the door, so we should meet up someplace else.”

“Where?”

“I’m thinking- my place? Before you say anything–” he holds his hands up even though Amy hasn’t so much as said a word of protest–“hear me out: my mom works late so we’ll get the house to ourselves. We could even do lines together, and hey- you can bring your homework! I know you’re always complaining about how noisy your place is. Seven brothers and all that.”

It’s a strangely sweet proposal, filled with details catering to Amy; how he pays attention to details about herself she doesn’t even directly share with him is frankly kind of amazing.

“I’m sold,” she says, holding her hand out which Jake shakes.

“Awesome. So it’s settled then.”

[winter20intensive]

week 1 // day 3

Today was a very exciting day because it was the first time that I was able to watch the taping of Zuri’s show! I got there about an hour before the taping to shadow Zuri as she recorded tracks (which are voiceovers that say what’s coming up next on the show when it’s about to cut for commercials). She stood in a small booth and read the script off of a small laptop. She was simultaneously coordinating with someone––a producer I assume––about the pronunciation of things or whether she needed to retape something, etc. I caught a short video clip and a picture of the script:

Then, we went into the green room where Zuri picked up a copy of the script for her 30-minute show and she read over it a few times to get comfortable with what she had to say. The producers were there to answer any questions she had or to tell her if there were any script mistakes or quick changes that had to be made. Side note, while taping the show, they also have teleprompters, so while Zuri was reading her lines to make sure she was comfortable, she also has the words in front of her as she presents, so she doesn’t need them memorized. 

After dropping into the makeup and hair station to get touch ups (she had already gotten her full glam done an hour prior), we went to her dressing room where the stylists had dropped off an outfit for her to wear during the show. After she had changed, they swooped in with various shoes and belts and jewery for her to accessorie with. This was one of the only times where I saw Zuri give input in anything and she was able to play around with her outfit and look a bit before getting a mic put on her.

Then, we were ready to go to set! Since we were a few minutes early, Zuri offered to be my photographer so we had a mini photoshoot in the studio:

Then, her and her two costars, Kit Hoover and Mario Lopez, taped a short segment called 6 stories in 60 seconds that was the only things pre-shot about their show and that aired at the very beginning before they went live.

After they taped that pre-taped segment, the cast and crew went on to film the 4-4:30 show called Access Hollywood which Zuri is sometimes a host of, but today she was not. So while she went to work on emails for a bit, I stayed and watched the show. I was surprised that the majority of the show is shots and interviews that they take from other shows or new sources and then they react to them. Since the shows are fast paced, quick delivery of celebrity news, they’re a culmination of all news sources in a way. It was interesting to see that the hosts only spoke for around 10 seconds at a time and then cut to a pre-edited video segment and then they would often have candid reactions and banter between the hosts about whatever video they watched. The taping of the 4-4:30 show was identical to the taping of the 4:30-5 show whcih is called All Access, which Zuri is always a host of. When I asked her about the difference between the two shows, she spoke candidly and answered that that was something that the producers were still trying to figure out. She also said that really the only difference is that All Access will cover more hard-news cases, which is why Zuri was brought in because she has experience in local news. 

In the clip above, Mario and Zuri begin by just watching the clips that are being shown live on which are on the monitor and chatting about it so that they are able to then properly react when the camera cuts to them. The studio was often loud and chatty while the show was being taped because the show often cut to videos that were previously tape or came from other shows. I commented about this observation to Zuri and she answered that that’s why the Fair Use laws that allow journalists to use a certain amount of copyrighted work for free is so important to her work as a journalist and Access’s work as a news provider. Because they are able to share a lot of content that they don’t have to get themselves which is more cost effective and efficient. 

Overall, the day was very eye opening and informative on the subject of journalism.

Until tomorrow,

Colette

[diamondsaregold]

Zig x MC - A Playlist

Background Info: In the spirit of slowly returning to sharing things with the world, I thought I’d post the playlist that I’ve spent approximately one month procrastinating on diligently working on. 

Started as a 30 song playlist, and cut down to 8 tracks. All the highs and lows of our entire The Freshman Book 3 relationship with Zig, with lots of angst and introspection. Some songs pertain to Zig x MC; others to each individual character.

Photos taken from Pexels, and edited by me in Photoshop. Hope you enjoy listening! 💕 Click on each song title for the link. I highly recommend listening to each song while looking at the visuals, lyrics, and analysis. 😉

1) “Heart Out” The 1975   An upbeat, atmospheric alt rock anthem to teenage love, personal issues, and monotony.

And once we started having friends round You created a television of your mouth ----- You got something to say Why don’t you speak it aloud, instead of living in your head? It’s always the same Why don’t you take your heart out, instead of living in your head? ----- It’s just you and I tonight Why don’t you figure your heart out?

We are reeling from suitemate drama and uncertainty when we stumble upon the enigmatic barista at the Hartfeld coffee shop. He shoots us knowing smirks, flirtatious remarks, and oh, it is working. The curve of his half smile, the curl of his deep hair, the heat of his toffee-warm skin washes over us. Risk is nothing when there’s endless possibilities in his gaze.

The start of the quarter is the perfect time to step away from the televisions (or books) inside our minds and take risks, to ground ourselves in new realities. Zig is something new, and very real.

2) “Smoke Filled Room” Mako A tropical, uplifting EDM track about the unstoppable girl who walks into chaos with her chin held high.

Isn’t it a little late? Shouldn’t you fly away? ----- Take a step around the room And every head keeps turning too Little dove, you fight ‘em back Show ‘em you’re so much more than that ----- Walk into a smoke filled room. Oh no one could keep their eyes off you. Have a little drink or two Oh how could you be that girl I knew?

Soaring vocals brim with adrenaline, courage, and tenderness. That night, we head out into a strange world of dusky romances and dangerous people. Yet somehow, we always prove our past selves wrong.

Fragile. We walk into the Gutter Kitten’s crowded show only to be met with icy stares (and ice queens). We stand our ground, telling off the rude band members and turning up the charm to an 11 with our coffeeshop cutie. We fight ‘em all back.

Magnetic. In our “little black dress” at Madison’s birthday party, Zig is transfixed. He craves complexity, the satisfaction of stripping apart a problem layer by layer. Our fire, our loyalty, our three dimensionality captivates this lover of permutations, logic. In the smoky magic of our late night bar escapade, he takes us apart. Slowly. Tenderly.

3) “Livewire” Oh Wonder A poignant, sparse piano and beat-driven ballad, contemplating two individuals who have become intertwined.

Counting my losses as I let them go. Heavy the water as I sink below. ----- I’ve been pretending all my shots are blown. Cover my heart up, never let it show. I’m shaking it off to find a higher low. ----- So hold me when I fall away from the lines. When I’m losing it all, when I’m wasting the light. And hold me when I put my heart in your hands. ----- Oh, won’t you be my livewire? Make me feel like I’m set on fire.

Covering up hearts, igniting fires, and letting walls down: how fitting that the themes here tie in with those of the other songs. As the relentless yearning to explore one another in dimly lit rooms and memorize each other’s complexities simmers down, our relationship spins into something deeper.

Grazing touches and gentle murmurs become even more fleeting, soft. When we hold each other tightly, slight frame on top of strong, sturdy, in the backseat of his old car, we realize that somehow within the span of weeks, we’ve become inseparable. 

His confessions topple our own walls. As the night goes on, we mold ourselves into each other. Our dependence on one another is intoxicating.

4) “Breaking the Habit” Linkin Park A hypnotic, downtempo rock song that depicts the gritty reality of addiction, dangerous habits, and resentment.

Memories consume Like opening the wound I’m picking me apart again ----- Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again ----- I’ll paint it on the walls Cause I’m the one at fault ----- I don’t know what’s worth fighting for So, I’m breaking the habit tonight

Things begin to spin out of control. One moment, he’s brittle, too quick to snap, to accuse others of false play, to push them away. In a split second, he’s soft again, murmuring gentle reassurances and apologies. We cannot understand his volatility. Fresh from the burn of an unfair, one-sided fight, we crack under the pressure. Everything gushes out.

The last thing we see is his back, taut with hard-earned, unwanted strength, tense with years of the strain of helplessness as his loved ones are damaged permanently. He has been cornered for so much of his life that running is a luxury. For him, the anger gnaws and carves away at his insides. All his adrenaline, his sadness, his quick temper feeds the addictive kick. He knows no existence without it. For us, everything dries up. What hurts more, his leaving, or the ease, the relief, with which he leaves? We sink into the deep, because we don’t know if he’ll be coming back. If he even wants to.

What we don’t know if that he’s the one tearing himself apart again.

5) “Nothing” The Script A stricken, pop rock ballad lamenting a damaged relationship and one man’s anguish.

Oh, sometimes love’s intoxicating. Oh, you’re coming down, your hands are shaking. When you realize there’s no one waiting. ----- Cause I’m shouting your name all over town. I’m swearing if I go there now. I could change her mind turn it all around. ----- So I, dialed her number and confessed to her I’m still in love, but all I heard Was nothing. ----- I wanted words, but all I heard was nothing.

We did not get the chance to see Zig’s perspective after MC leaves for California. For me, this song fills in the blank spaces. I wonder what emotions must have been running through his mind. Resentment? Regret? I imagine him playing the fight over and over again, and beating himself up for lashing out.

We know that whatever he felt, it was strong enough to compel him to dial MC’s number--and, to be completely crushed when she ignored his call. It was the final straw: the confirmation that MC did not care about him. Her silence hurt infinitely more than a punch in the face. And so, the walls go up. He hunkers himself down behind defensiveness once again.

But to finally find someone who loved him for who he was, and to lose her in an instant, stings. He knows that things could have gone differently.

6) “Poison” luhx. A stirring, indie and electronica track about apprehension, toxic relationships and choices, and the road to self-forgiveness.

I’ve been on either side of letting someone down and I don’t know which one is worse ----- Your toxin takes its time to settle in When you said how much my skin reminded of home Time seemed to numb my sins ----- I laid down all my walls so you could lay here next to me I know now... ----- Too much of anything is poison And it’s laced upon your lips But the cure is in the venom, so I keep on coming back My soul is stained with your poison

Admittedly, this toxic relationship is a bit too dark for our reunion. Yet, there is something promising about the song’s raw honesty.  It speaks of newfound wisdom, awareness, all qualities that make for a future of healing. “Poison” then captures Zig’s relationship with his past, his demons, and his journey to self acceptance.

Anger was Zig’s poison. It gave him what justification he needed to hate the world that dealt him this hand, to fight back against bullies, to have tasted and now expect rejection, and to avoid disappointment by putting up barriers around all of his relationships. In time, his numbness to his own aspirations became part of him.

Too much anger, however, and everything crashed. Inside, all he wanted was to be free. To believe in himself and his dreams once again. When he first met us in the coffee shop, he caught a glimpse of that brimming courage he once had, many years ago.

He fears that he is broken beyond repair. Perhaps this anger is now laced within his veins, toxic vines twisting around his heart, skin stained with bitter rejection.

There is beauty in his fear and newfound awareness. We are hopeful.

7) “Love Somebody” Ta-Ku ft. Wafia An evocative, soulful indie-edm ballad and duet whose lyrics speak of a relationship on the mend.

Darling understand, my faith wavers when I can’t see the end And I know you truly believe that our love will keep us from the edge ----- I know we’ll never get it right We only ever seem to fight Anyone else would walk away When you love somebody then you stay

The end-of-the-quarter dance dazzles with the promise of new beginnings. To our joy, Zig is about to embark on his college journey! And, amid blushing and stammering confessions, he’ll do so with us--his favorite girl--by his side.

Under the blossoms of the fairy light-strung cherry trees, we twirl about on the dance floor, hearts light and gazes warm. He can’t stop staring at us, but this time, he knows that we’re his. And he, ours.

The future can come with all that it brings. As his hands make their home on our waist, we are content to press our face into his broad shoulder and just breathe. His hope is sweet as the air.

8) “Arrest Me” Shy Girls ft. Tei Shi A sultry, electronica ode to the battle for dominance and waves of pleasure.

You got me tripping on my walk like I’m a novice. Something about you on the top, if I’m honest Running in circles around me, cuz you know I love it ----- I’m gonna let you tie me up tonight And you can read my rights, if that’s alright I’ll loosen up your ropes and let you bite I wanna feel your touch ----- Arrest me

Surrendering and asserting have never tasted so perfectly together. Zig makes us crave something deeper, and we can’t control the hitch of our breath when he crumbles under our touch. How is it that we render him speechless anywhere we end up? There is heat everywhere. His gaze smolders, sends one quake after another shuddering through our pinned frame. 

After, we lay together, nestled together among the bedsheets, his arm still draped over us. His hands feel rough, but his caresses gentle. As much as we love the storm, we relish the calm. The steady rising of his chest, his soft snore, almost childlike, as we drift away.

Whenever I make playlists for characters or stories, I always try to base the songs off of the feeling, rather than the actual lyrics. “Smoke Filled Room” and “Poison” felt the most ‘Zig’ to me; “Heart Out”  the least. Regardless, I hope you liked my rambling musics and sound bites! Now back to my exam preparation... 😭