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#i have so much fun in life/j
grim-has-issues · 8 months
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Me: I can’t be neurodivergent. I don’t have a lot of the traits needed, like being upset when your routine is thrown off. I never get upset when I mess up a routine. I am shit at keeping up with routines.
Also me when I woke up too late to go to the farmers’ market: I am going to kill myself/hj
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wickmitz · 19 days
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.
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source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.
though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rocky’s sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isn’t dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized it’s starting to spill out of him … which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is what’s currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasn’t had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous … and like.#when you’re constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others … etc#i could talk in depth about rocky’s traumas and why they’ve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly there’s a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill … which rocky is imo#it’s just the reality of things! this isn’t me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. i’m just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not … really rocky rickaby … rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#it’s amazing truly lol like … i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and i’m rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky … while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too … rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops i’ll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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jamalambbamm · 1 year
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hey what if tango was the merman
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gl1tched-g0th · 2 months
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Anyone else have that one song that seriously genuinely is haunting to them
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piratewinzer · 1 year
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i just think she's neat ❤️
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athousandmorningss · 9 months
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I'm very into bowling lately. There's something philosophical about it as a practice. You do best when you mind your own lane eg: stay in your lane eg: worry about what you're doing and not the people around you. This is a difficult thing to do given the proximity of other players. It's so easy to compare, to look at the way another person plays and scoff at how much better they are than you. Or, you can look at them with intention: note the way they hold the ball or how they are able to hurl it with both intention and speed, and then try to mirror that in your own throw. It also involves getting out of your head. To say to yourself Okay, that throw sucked: that's alright. This one will be better.
I get better by being mindful about my breathing, considering where I place my feet, and doing positive affirmations. "you go this girl. c'mone girl!" I threw softer to begin with and instead now lob the bowl with intensity and an almost kind of anger. It feels good. A direct release.
I improve, I get better, and I can see it right there. Both in life and in this game.
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lemongogo · 10 months
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i need 2 stop drawing static stuff . white bg . front facing pose. <will do it again
#i looked thru my media tab 2day .horrific#WHERES THA PURPOSEEEE E#there doesnt have 2 be any . of coursies .#but thats smt i want to work on rly hard T_T 2024!!!!!!!!!#smth smth reflection but i am happy with what ive done in 2023#definitely havent finished as many things as id hoped but thats okay.kind of touched on it w that one trgn comp a few months ago#but i tried 2 be more confident in areas i wasnt so sure abt before and it paid off in a way that im happy with T__T❤️#like despite all my gloom & burnout and artblock . i had a lot of fun . and im rly fortunate that ive been able to meet the nicest ppl#through it T__T#idk what jm talking abt anymore but j think . i am happy w the direction im headed in and i just need to work harder now on variability#and concept and composition. not rly sure where to start but i think compiling some of my favs in a single place#and studying them will help. :3.. AND NOT GIVING UP A SKETCH IF ITS FRUSTRATING ATM😭😭😭😭#some of them ..that one w meryl and vash . i ould not for the life of me figure out and i was like soo done w it#but then i was likeno OK just do it who cares . and then i found a workflow that worked and it WAS SOO MUCH FUNNN AND I STILL RLY LOVE HOW#IT TURNED OUTTT ..#and the one w knives . the beautiful universe one . i rmbr being so annoyed by a similar attempt that inwas lkke fuck it im just gna use the#biggest brush ever and play arnd with stuff bc its not gna see the light of day and fhen j agonized abt sharing it and everyone WAS SOOO#NICE TO ME !!&2&2 LIKEEE it was one of my earliest trgn pieces so kind of new 2 da scene and lkke . idk man it helped me enjoy my art from#an outside perspective after struggling w the doubt and its now one of my favorites ever too …#ORRR .. the vash and wolfwood one w the silly blue sky bg .. the textures were so mindless and fun#or the elendira . SOOO MANY FUN ELENDIRAS.. the perspective nail gun one is still a fav bc i shy away from perspective bc its hard as shit#but it worked out and i luv it tew .#sory anyways . very happy. and thankful^__^ ik when j post stuff like URRG MY ART!!!it mostly jst comes from .like GAAH want 2 push myself#harder bc i know itll be fun once i get 2 where im going T_T#anyways if u got 2 this point u r lkterally angel my angelll~ hamtaro pic#tys
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kuiinncedes · 3 months
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ty for tagging me @justgleekout teehee 🥰🥰🥰🥰 it's been so long since i did smth like this lmao
Rules are post gifs from your 10 favorite shows without naming them, then tag 10 people.
also idk if i even have 10 shows i would like enough to put here but we'll see lol c:
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that's 7 but i don't rly have others i would say are favorite tv shows atm so i'm just gonna repeat from these LMAO
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beep beep boop boop i'm not gonna tag anyone bc i feel like i barely interact here anymore and i feel awkward abt tagging lol 😭😭😭 naur but if you see this and want to do it at all i tag you fr <33
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yeonban · 4 months
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Send me ✔ and I’ll bold what my muse would do with/for yours.
@effigist asked: ✔ ash for tobias 💪
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Acquaintance:
hold the door for them | help them carry something | let them borrow something | let them use their (primary) phone (that has all of Tobias' important contacts in it) | smile at them when passing in the streets | shake hands with them | flirt with them in a bar | share a taxi with them | give them a ride home | lend them money | sit next to them on public transportation | offer them some food | help them find something they lost
Friendship:
let them stay the night | listen to them complain at 4 am | help them get over a break up | go out shopping with them | pet sit for them (or alternatively, babysit Ash's gang/allies) | help them move houses | help them find a lost pet | go on vacation with them | stay up all night with them | help them hide a dead body | provide an alibi for them | take their side in a break up | talk about their future plans | be maid of honour/best man/etc. at their wedding (Tobias just laughed at this one I'm sorryadhyuasgdsahd) | share food with them
Lover/Fling:
let them stay after sex | gentle sex | rough sex | experiment | handcuffs | bdsm | whips | orgasm denial | aftercare | cuddles after sex | tea/coffee/etc. after sex | gentle kisses | rough kisses | passionate kisses | sloppy kisses | lazy kisses | hang out without sex | hide their relationship | cheat on them | cheat on someone else with them | dirty talk | loving talk | gentle touches | rough touches | nervous/shy touches | say “I love you”
Married/Dating:
take them on expensive dates | pay for dates | make them pay for dates | go to the movies | put out on the first date | get an arranged marriage | stay at home most nights | cuddle in front of the tv | propose first | drop hints until they propose | give a big/expensive/elaborate proposal | have a quiet proposal | say yes to a proposal from them | have a big wedding | have a small wedding | elope | get married in Vegas | go on an expensive honeymoon | go on a cheap honeymoon | have kids | get a pet | move in together (Tobias with his dozen houses: :) ADHASDHSAJD 😭) | laugh during kisses | laugh during sex | tickle fights | fight over who’s cuter | make them sleep on the couch after fights | make up sex | angry sex | no sex | let their parents/siblings stay over | let their family visit often | tell them “I love you” every day
Sibling/Platonic:
fight (SPAR! SPAR! SPAR!) | hug (Tobias isn't against properly hugging him but boy does he think it'd be so awkward the first few times he'd do it. so typically Ash would instead get those half-hugs/half-lounging on the other's shoulder kind of embraces that men always love to give each other) | laugh at them when they get hurt (for the minor/stupid injuries) | help them hide a dead body | provide an alibi for them | tell them they’re annoying at least once a day | share food with them | help them move houses | walk them down the isle | try to sell them online | set up an online dating account for them | set them up on blind dates | try to set them up with your friends | listen to their problems | help them cook | cook them food | make them watch shows they don’t like with them | tell them they’re an idiot/loser/dork/nerd affectionately
Enemy:
fight them | take petty revenge | kill them (thank GOD Ash isn't the type to betray him for no reason so this will never come to pass 🙏) | try to smother them in their sleep | hire an assassin | work harder to beat them at something | follow their social media just to get mad about it | make passive aggressive remarks towards them | spread rumours about them | laugh at them when they get hurt | take pleasure from them being upset | ruin their life
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#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#◜✧ . ❪ tobias ; musings. ❫#effigist#They have such a fun dynamic to me like What is ever going on here. ADJIASDHASUIDHSADJSADSHDSAKD#That Awkwarddd (!) moment when you and your homie are 2 teenage guys with understandable trust issues which always make you#question the homie's real intentions only for you to slowly become proper friends but still find it hard to believe him 🙄🙄🙄#even WORSE that due to your age and past experiences you cannot for the love of god be open and vulnerable on main w him or you'll Die#I have to say tho it's fascinating to watch Tobias give Ash so much (from money to help to his phone bc he'd rather khs than offer his#primary phone to sb he doesn't trust considering he has stuff like Wammy's network & the Presidents' phone numbers in there)#and then ask for nothing bc Ash is simply THAT amusing to him! Ash earned all this by breathing and being himself I can't even ADAHSAJSAHDK#I guess it does help that Ash reminds Tobias of himself just a little 🤏 bit bc of the similar situations they've found themselves in#(both forced by circumstances into a life of crime; both groomed by adults looking to use them if for different purposes; both Hating that)#except Tobias has at least landed himself in Wammy's House & has the means to stand up for himself AND others nowadays#whereas Ash's life is... many a struggle since he refuses to use Dino's assets to get back at him (which is what Tobias' doing to Watari)#Tobias might not be a nice guy but he Does want to get Ash out of the hellhole he's fallen into even if it's risky & has no visible upside#but it'd be WAY too much of a shame to let Ash die. much less to some random old man's obsessive whims 🙄#Saying this made me remember the 'I'll get you out of there' cat meme and now I can't stop laughing HELP ADJIASHDISADSADJSADSHAD#But yk thinking about it more deeply I realized Ash might be the first friend Tobias' ever made outside of Wammy's (besides fake friends)#It's hard times out here in the friendship economy when you never step out of the GODDAMN underground where all the backstabbers are at!#Frankly I could probably write an essay about their dynamic and they haven't even DONE much together yet. So what if I jumped instead /j
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eternallystupiyuuki · 4 months
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this was fun
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i feel like this is too detailed….
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evilmagician430 · 1 year
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happy MY BIRTHDAY to those who celebrate. and to those who do not, then nonetheless i wish you a happy anniversary of hitler's suicide
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allyouzombies · 8 months
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screaming myself hoarse til I pass out we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you about your career your whereabouts!!!
#not about j we're good - about the friend who i haven't shut up about in the 14 years i've been on the hellsite#the fun part is that i know his forever career and his forever whereabouts and it will break my heart into shards for the rest of my life!#and goddamnit we weren't romantically together but instead together as part of a weirdly codependent friend group of four and we were#near identically weird and fucked up emotionally and in our humor and how we spoke and how we meshed and i will NEVER fucking get over it!!#i'm still agog that i sent you a last chance hail mary sort of letter like the lyrics in this song about how i think about you often and#have always believed in you and been rooting for you like all the rest of us who knew you before things got really bad because you were and#are such a fucking incredible person and musician and friend and so smart and creative and LOVABLE! i said that in the letter without#realizing alanis said that in one of THE best lost love songs of all goddamn time!#i wish i could tell you one more time - right now today immediately or better yet five years ago - how i have always loved and admired you#and everything about you. even now. all the way out here in iowa i am still loving you with everything i have in me every single day#knowing i will never speak to or see you again [i think about you all the time but i don't need the same] and i finally started to admit#that to myself and my friends and my therapist in 2021 and i'm more at peace with it than i ever was or thought i could be in 2019 and 2020#but i know it's gonna take my whole lifetime to get a grip on it and accept it. and it'll stop hurting one of these days. i know it will#i don't think i've ever loved a friend as much as I loved you. i think you were the best friend i've ever had#and that's one of the nastiest parts of it - we were good friends and you did seem to like me plenty#but i think i was the w-h-auden_morelovingone.txt by a mile. i was a weird obsessed stage 10 clinger.#and that's surely a large part of the dwelling and the fixation. if things had been more equal then maybe it'd be very different now.#guess i'll die because i sure ain't finding out!!#HELLO LOVES HAVE SOME RICH NUTRITIOUS ANNIE LORE ON THIS FINE FREEZING COLD SUNDAY AFTERNOON!#ann with an ie#<- this was a nightmare to type out and feel but i wanna keep it around for whenever i get the balls to talk about it in therapy again
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minarcana · 2 years
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still thinking abt viv sending me her caps from uri at the vday cutscene. punching dirt about him and moen being Best Fuckign Friends. i love them so much. moen was so determined to wrangle this loser. god bless. i love moen and i would kill and die for her. so would uri except he cant. i cry every day
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solace-seekers · 1 year
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okay here’s a quick backstory for the army thing
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this is francois, my pet dinosaur. somewhere around february/march of the school year i start dragging him around with my everywhere while at school. i’ve done this for the past three years. (his leash/harness thing is wrapped like that to keep the balance in the middle so he stays on his feet )
so francois has made a name for himself, hence my recreation of him in crochet form to give as gifts to my teachers
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BUT today we had an academic, arts and athletic signing for seniors and because i’m summa cum laude i was in the academic signing thingy. and they had a little excerpt from my math teacher about my accomplishments or whatever
and my teacher mentions how i’m the only student she’s met that has a pet dinosaur. and i saw a golden opportunity
so i reached under the table and got francois from the floor and got to hold him up to the entire senior class plus whoever else showed up while the principal finished the little blurb about me and some people went insane it was so funny
and my friends mom got a video of it and you can see the parents of the kid next to me looking at it in just. confusion
hands down the best legacy i can hope to leave and it’s centered around a $1 plastic dinosaur that i randomly decided to put on a leash
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wishgirls-archive · 1 year
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so i think we uh. got an apartment?
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nomaishuttle · 11 months
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i literally have completionist brain but for real life and like. not a fun way for me to play games Definitely not a fun way for me to live irl
#bc in games like. skyrim or what have you i do nottt play them right ik there isnt a right way to play them#but i do every single quest and i pick the options thtall give me the best rewards etc and it just isnt very fun. and rhe point is that its#a role playing game so i should roleplay and if i want to see what happens if i pick the other options i just Make anew save instead of#reloading over and over again. and yet#and its not fun in the sims bc j literally judt force them to max their skills get highest level in their careers complete theiraspirations#and then im just like. ok. and it ends up making my sims games so samey and not fun bc ill Make sims thatr different from eachother but#well. 1. sims 4 sims do not act different from eachother Lmao you Can pick different traits but the most u get is moodlets and maybe 2-5#dialogue options. not that much... vs like skms 3 where each trait could change up a sim a lot#butttt whatever. anyways...#but yeah irl im like Noooo i cant just do this 1 good job bc there are all these other jobs i also need to do i cant pick one major i have#to do all of them i cant Not be able to romance this person !! but real life isnt a video game and that mindset fucking sucks for videogame#anyway... like i like completing a game but i wish i didnt let it ruin games 4 me#bc it rly does i never finish games anymore bc i stress myself out over 100% it...#and i make too many spreadsheets abt them. but i love spreadsheets :[[[[#i should go back to sdv again.. and return to an old save thats another thing#ill obsess iver a game to the point i burn out completely and stop playing and then ill get the urge to play again#but i start a new save and inevitably burn out again and its like ! the devil
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