#i haven't even reread it after posting it but it's been living in my mind ever since | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

h-doodles · 11 months

Note

hi, can I ask for your top ten favorite fics ? :)

Hi anon hiiiiiiii welcome!!! u caught me at a good time, ur soooo lucky bc i just glanced at my notifs and saw this ask get sent <3 KDBDKDKK its been literal years since i checked my ask box 👉🏻👈🏻

BUT ANYWAY! top 10 of all time???? be warned that while i am currently enchanted with ONE (1) 6 ft 3 in actress, I still do consider myself a girlie with varied tastes so. my old & other fandoms are mixed in my current list!

without further ado:

#10: knowledge for knowledge's sake by tigriswolf (ao3) || quite an old piece detailing how a change in the personality of one Hermione Granger could have had a massive impact to the story— and while I don't fuck with JKTerfling, the fics I've read from the old fans in the HP fandom are still honestly, some of the BEST I have EVER read. This one in particular irrevocably changed me as a teen, and is one story that I continue to draw inspiration upon when I create dark!AUs for my SI/OCs.

#9: Zutopia by itslivybear (ao3) || the fluff, the worldbuilding, an AU where Izuku is mentored by our beloved Rat God & together, they fix the world problems? GIRLIES catch me forever LOVING this concept like you could NEVER believe <3

#8: (not so) Bad Idea by @sarahpaulsonsoftie (tumblr post) || HEE HEE ITS LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE LIKE HELP THESE BITCHES GAY!!!!!! GOOD FOR THEM!!!!!!! ft a meddling plantita who really mothered; Marilyn Thornhill <3

#7: Hold my Soul by connyhascontrol (ao3) || I got into Trixie/Katya completely by one @montaguehphm introducing me to UNHhhh (HIIIIIII bestie I hope everything is going good and that ur gay keeps slay <3) and I haven't recovered ever since— reading the fics by writers on AO3 was a happy little accident, but one i will FOREVER love, nonetheless. Anyway, this particular fic was SO brilliantly original and YET so entrenched in the personalities between T&K that it ABSOLUTELY just wrecks me everytime I reread it. anyways hi @connyhascontrol pls know ur brilliant <3

#6: I think I'm gonna call him out by hellelf (ao3, users only) || again, another AU for Hermione fic, that's chockfull of world building and interesting relationships! It's been unupdated from its 5 chapters since 2021, but I still LOVE to look back at it from time to time 💖

#5: The Confectionary Chronicles series by cheshire_caroll (ao3); Into the Black series by angelholme (ao3); Hermione Granger & the Serpent's Renaissance series by epsi1on (ao3) AND New Blood by artemisgirl (ff.net) || if it's not evident, i am an absolute slut for fics ft. Hermione being badass & put into a v cool plot w/ insane amounts of world building, so yeah, def a top 5 most contender <3

#4: The Infinitely Curious Woman by chararii (ao3) || literally ALL of their fics are absolute bangers, and while I forever mourn their decision to stop all Naruto fics thanks to the great harddrive incident of 2022, I have nonetheless the GREATEST respect to their skill & talent to bring SUCH LIFE to their stories. In particular, I chose this particular fic of theirs because the premise of Sakura making her own way by shedding off her morality the more she learned & got influenced by her 2 greatest teachers was absolutely nothing short of DIVINE. It was and IS such an inspiration to read, reread & explore, and I will forever love @chararii for this brilliant piece of a fic

#3: The Endgame that never was series by @heleneplays aka me (tumblr masterlist) || ok I know this seems self-absorbed but DEAR MOTHER OF CHRISTIE i literally WENT OFF for a whole ass day and a half going feral for the Relics of the Lost Age series book 3 finale (hi @jamesshawgames pls know im still here and STILL simping even tho i am currently having a brainrot for a different thing on main sjdhdkdk i hope ur doing well dearest mr. chief author sir!!!!) and created this series from my dreams + nonstop ben&ben playlist— and honestly, I think it's VERY sexy of me <3 bc I rarely like things that I do after a while, but THIS— alongside Universal Constant (ao3) are truly my BEST work <3

#2: Across the Stars by nomisunrider (ao3) || I CAN NEVER STRESS THIS ENOUGH, HOW MUCH THIS FIC ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY LIKE. its been 4 YEARS since it was completed but HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. GOD. The story between Michael & Philippa persisting beyond the odds, in a twist of the canon happenings in Star Trek: Discovery is FOREVER ingrained in my heart and soul and honestly once again THANK YOU @nomi--sunrider for SUCH a beautiful story 🥺🥺🥺

and drum roll please!!!

#1 (current): I literally cannot pick between Better than Gold + Little Cat by @lady-dimimi / @azu-zu (tumblr post for BtG | LC ao3); How to woo a Hot Principal by @softshrimpy (ao3); and Lipstick Stains by @weemssapphic (ao3) || LIKE HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING AMOUNT OF TALENT, PLOT, FLUFF, DRAMA AND UTTER GAYNESS THESE FICS BRING ME— its SOOOOO insanity inducing in the best of ways <3 also, i really count myself lucky to get into a very active (x reader) sphere LIKE ITS SOOOOO INSANE i get to consume CONTENT daily for such wonderful characters and these special morsels be like. authors, I am sending you all a MWAH from me

#meows at you meows at you #thank u for the ask lol im sorry it took literally HOURS i had to look thru my ao3 rec list to pick lmao #anyways MWAH #anon asks #answered asks #lee answers #fic recs #personal.txt #clown.txt #simp.txt

22 notes · View notes

nonbinarydeity · 2 years

Text

Long, kinda rant?? Idk my brain is all over the place today and I needed to get some thoughts off my chest 😩

It's funny to think that the subconscious remembers everything, because I sure as fuck don't. I think it can be hard for people with neurodivergent minds to comprehend manifestation in the first place, but that difficulty is compounded by the fact that some people literally just... can't remember what they've been doing. Like for me, I can't remember anything for sure unless it's yesterday or today, and even then I get it all mixed up in my head. Idk what's last week or last year, there's no real timeline in my head at all, it's all a jumbled mess lol.

When I'm manifesting, this makes it very difficult for me to persist, because half the time I can't make up my mind what I want, and the other half of the time I forget when I started and what I'm doing and all of this other stuff. And I know that it's not necessarily important to know everything about your manifestation, but as someone who likes to tell stories in my head, I like the details to be consistent, and most of the time I can't remember the details 😩

I could write it down, but what happens if I forget? And then rereading it, it feels like a script, but I want it to be my natural thought progression + I don't want to think about it too hard because that's when I overcomplicate.

It all feels so contradictory. I really hope that I find more neurodivergent takes on manifesting, because even though I "understand" it, it's the actually doing it part that I have the most trouble with. (Also if your ND and a manifesting blogger, pls message me or whatever so I can read your blog 😩😩😩 and maybe be friends lol).

Idk, I feel like within the community this whole post would be written off as "limiting" but like this is just what I actually struggle with, and that's valid as fuck?? Like you should never shut someone down with "that's a limiting belief" when they're trying to work through a difficult situation like this, especially when you could never step into their shoes because you literally don't think in the same way.

Also can we talk about how awful it can feel to realize that everything comes from you? Like yes, it does, but that's traumatic as fuck for people who want more than anything for everyone to be happy. Like in the world we live in, things suck for everyone. And it can be really hard to come to terms with the idea that you created it all when you hate seeing people suffer. It can lead to guilt and shame and all sorts of things, and it's so hard to overcome that even if you know that you didn't make it this way on purpose. Like, yes, you made everything, but you're not to blame for it, even if you know about manifesting and you haven't changed something yet, or even if you're struggling to change things and you feel hopeless, it's not your fault, because as easy as everyone says it is, the journey to instant manifestation can be really long and difficult. If it was easy for everyone right away, there wouldn't be a whole community around it, after all.

Anyways, the main point of all this is: you're valid as fuck, and please don't get down on yourself for "not being able to do it" because it can be hard and it can take time, and that's just normal and natural. You've got this 100% even if you don't feel like it right now; if you keep at it, you'll get it eventually ❤️

#law of assumption #master manifestor #law of attraction #manifestation #living in the end #manifest #manifesting #loa #loassumption

22 notes · View notes

cyptic-underground · 2 years

Text

I technically finished writing this at four am but I didn't feel like posting then because I was literally exhausted.

I got this idea a while ago and wrote 3/4 of it then left in my drafts because I thought it sucked buns, but I was rereading it and it low-key kinda slapped? Still not perfect because I haven't it but is decent for something written at the ass crack of morning

So enjoy!

Sky Lights & Headphones

Sun Wukong stared up the at the sky with expectancy, bountiful amounts of excitement bouncing as he and the others waited for the coming fireworks.

MK had come to him with a flyer earlier the day during their training session. The paper was brightly coloured described the festival's activities and firework show. Wukong could only hope the fireworks lived up to their advertising, since the other festivities were pretty up to par.

The kid had, of course, invited the rest of crew to come with. Somehow even convincing Macaque to come along.

The demon monkey had been acting rather off after arriving. He seemed.. quieter. Less himself.

He had barely tried to get arise out of the monkey king, which was odd, while they walked through the stands. Lagging behind the rest of the group as they waded through the crowds of other festival goers.

Wukong pretended to not see when Macaque would flinch when someone would raise their voice to be heard over the other talk, or when metal utensils being used by the food vendors were clanged together, or when someone would brush against him and he'd become a little smaller. More fragile..

He pretended to not see how badly his old friend wanted to crumple to the ground with how many sound he was hearing all at once, mostly definitely overwhelmed and in pain. Macaque would brush it off as the king seeing things and he'd be back at square one.

He bit back the urge to ask, since the others would hear. If the shadow monkey hadn't said anything, then he didn't want the others knowing. If they hadn't known from the legends that he had six ears, he probably would've kept that a secret to.

He bit back the urge to reach out and comfort the other because he was scared. To get hurt, to hurt the other again...

Now, they stood in the center of the whole festival. Waiting for the fireworks.

And he's excited to see the amazing colours, but worry for the other demon had nestled next to that excitement and nagged at his mind. They stood a foot away from each other, the rest of the group standing on the other side of Wukong. He was so close, so within reach..

He can see Macaque anxiously fidgeting with his scarf, as he two waited for the lights but in fear rather than excitement. Preparing for the sound of explosion to go off and the pain that would come with it.

Wukong's brows crease together, golden eyes looking at the other in a mix of pity and concern. Suddenly wishing the fireworks would get cancelled, that the sky would become too overcast to set them off.

His heart ached for the other in a way that felt overwhelming. To not have the distance between them so it'd make it easier to aid his once close friend.

"Mac-" his voice was rigid as the sage reached out a hesitate hand to grab the shorter monkey's arm, wanting to pull the other close. Or, perhaps, take him a little farther away so it may not hurt so much. Then he heard a sudden boom go off as the sound flooded his ears.

His eyes flicked to sky to see a something tiny fly up into the sky then bursting into an explosion of red and yellow before subsequently fizzling out.

The first firework.

The golden monkey's head snapped back the other, seeing him slightly shake.

Another two were sent up in the sky. He watched the shadow monkey quietly gasp before beginning to whimper, bringing his scarf up to his ears and holding it there. Legs becoming unsteady and slack as he nearly doubled over. The rest of the group being none the wiser of what was happening just a few steps beside them. Gleefully watching the spectacles of light.

In a flash, Sun Wukong pulled Macaque towards him. Pressing him closely to himself so the darker monkey's head layed against his chest. Holding his hand atop the other's in attempt to silence more sound. The darker monkey having squeaked in surprise.

And they stood their quietly, the shadow weaver too bewildered to speak. Wukong being afraid too, there wasn't much he could think to say anyway.

Once the shock subsided, the demon leaned more into the king's warm touch. Wukong resting his head against the others, running fingers through dark fur absentmindedly. And they were content like that, looking up to enjoying the fireworks without any pain.

When the show finally ended, and the others had gone home, the two monkeys walked together in silence

"So.." Macaque started, some way into their walk, them both halting their strides. Nervously chewing at the fabric of his scarf.

He paused, drumming his fingers against his arm. "Why'd you, y'know, back there?" the demon monkey gestured towards his ears, "we aren't exactly..."

Wukong bit his lip, mulling over the question. He hadn't really thought through his actions, he'd just sort of acted...

"I know. You just looked.. really in pain back there and I don't know- I didn't really much think back there," he said "I just wanted to help ease the pain.. at least"

The shadow monkey hummed softly, as though judging the answer and deciding it had fit his standards. The two resuming their walking.

"If you'd known we were going to a festival, why didn't you.. y'know bring something for your ears?" Monkey King asked, mimicking the same gesture the other had done a few minutes earlier.

"Do you not-"

"I have noise cancelling headphones Wukong" the warrior said in a scoff. The golden monkey rolled his eyes, frowning. "Why didn't you bring them then smart ass?" He inquired in an annoyed tone.

Macaque sighed, hiding part of his face in his scarf. Seeming to be a comfort item. The darker monkey didn't answer for a while, choosing to stare at the sidewalk in front of them. The stone monkey sour mood faltering a bit, becoming more concerned again.

"I lost them.." the shadow monkey had eventually said. Wukong stilled, the other doing the same.

"I had been looking for them before I left and couldn't find them," his voice was barely audible "they're usually on my nightstand because I use them to help me sleep but they weren't there." The golden monkey frowned, out of sadness rather than anger this time, his eyes locked on the other.

The king knew how particular his old friend was with personal items, especially ones of importance. So to ask if the demon had placed it in a different location would be stupid.

Macaque huffed tiredly, probably beating himself internally for losing something as Wukong recalled the other monkey doing when they were close. Going over all the places he might not of checked, or even ones he had already checked.

"I considered not coming but before I could text the kid, dragon girl and the Bull prince were at my door" he grumbled "something 'bout 'making sure I didn't bail.'"

"Hopefully I find them when I get home or I won't be sleeping tonight" the shadow weaver groaned, Wukong knowing he was most likely pouting underneath the red fabric.

After another stretch of silence, the shorter monkey turned to look at him as he pulled down the scarf to reveal a smirk. "You're awfully quiet Peaches," Macaque teased "I don't remember you ever being this quiet."

"Did the Great Sage get scared by a ghost?" He taunted further when Wukong hadn't replied.

The sage didn't remove his gaze from the other, causing the demon to nervously chuckle before looking away.

"I never thought I'd say it but quiet Wukong is worse than chatty Wukong" the shadow weaver remarked, uncomfortable by the sudden attention.

The auburn monkey opened his mouth but quickly shut it, eyebrows furrowing in thought.

"Stoic isn't really your brand Peaches-"

"Noise cancelling headphones!" He said suddenly, successfully startling Macaque. After the surprise wore off the other groaned, "why not say it a little louder, I don't think the neighborhood heard you Wukong" the darker monkey said sarcastically.

"Oops." The sage blushed, he didn't mean for it come out that unceremoniously.

The shorter of the two sighed, used to Sun Wukong's antics. "So? Why'd ya shout 'noise cancelling headphones'?" The other asked as he lifted a brow to show his intrigue, "if it's to tease me about losing mine I swear-!" He threatened.

The stone monkey held his hands to either side of his head, "no I- no it's not, I promise."

Macaque looked at him sceptically for a moment, weighing his odds to trust the king's promise before scoffing. "Proceed" giving Wukong a look that said: don't do anything stupid.

He nodded, lowering his arms so they rested at his sides. "I can make you a new pair of headphones," he paused "y'know just for incase you don't find yours or as a backup.."

The other sat stunned, his face not being able to choose between confusion or being weirded out "correction: Wukong being weirdly kind is worse."

"I could also hold onto a back up pair then bring them incase you need them and I'm around, if you don't have yours of course, but I thought you might want a pair for tonight in the chance you can't your ones" he unconsciously rambled, shifting back and forth on his feet. They had halted their walking a bit ago, he wished they were because maybe this conversation wouldn't be so stressful otherwise. But it would be awkward if he started walking without something else being said or done, most definitely rude, more so if Macaque didn't follow after.

"Why are you saying all this Wukong?" The shadow weaver deadpanned, causing the sage to frown. "We're not.." the darker monkey's voice was just above a whisper, stiffly moving his arms to be hugging himself. 'So fragile..' the stone monkey thought sadly.

"I know we aren't.. how we were," he sighed "but I'm doing all this because I wanna show you that I don't hate you."

They stood there, silently staring at eachother in melancholy. Centuries of heartache sitting between where the two monkeys stood. They would dance around it, maybe briefly near it for a quick snide remark before dipping out it, too painful to touch.

"Fine," Macaque said after awhile, turning so Wukong could only see the back of his shoulder and head "just make it quick I wanna go home."

The sage nodded, sharing some of the same sediment. He wanted to go back to the mountain so he could get away from this awkwardness. He also wanted to stay out longer, to indulge in this time alone with his old friend but he feared he may push it if he did. Ruin the little progress they had made.

Wukong lifted is right hand, having his open palm out to the empty space in front of him, his eyes beginning to glow gold as small pieces of light formed around his hand in the same colour.

Soon headphones had appeared in the spot the light had, him catching it before it could fall and hit the ground.

The headphones he'd made looked pretty standard, being mostly black with red accents on the parts that went over the ears.

He handed them over, sheepishly smiling "I'd test them to see if they work.. I've never made headphones before—especially not noise cancelling ones." He scratched at his chin, gulping nervously "it be annoying if you went home, tried to use them and they didn't work."

Macaque took them, inspecting them closely. He chuckled. "Nice to see you avoided your most signature colour when making these, I've never been much for turquoise" the shadow demon teased before sliding them on. He paused, adjusted them slightly before pausing again. After a few seconds, he gave a thumbs on to which the sage sighed in relief.

'They worked!' he cheered in his head.

The shadow weaver slide the headphones off to be around his neck, as the two finally began walking again.

They walked until they reached the end of the street. "This is where we part, you should be getting back.." the darker monkey had stated, the stone monkey simply nodding.

They waved goodbye as they separated. Making the rest of their journey alone

Sun Wukong had gotten home not long after leaving Macaque. Falling into bed after checking around the mountain for dangers, not bothering to change in his sleepwear, sighing. Being swept away by sleep almost instantly.

Macaque had walked into his apartment, rubbing ships boots on mat at the door before taking them off and putting them aside.

He yawned, making his way to his bedroom. He can check for his headphones in the morning, Wukong's will suffice for tonight at the very least.

After changing out of the clothes he'd wore that day, tossing them in the laundry, he flopped down onto the bed on his back. Pulling the headphones over his ears before pausing, feeling something odd brush against his fingertips.

Thinking that Wukong had actually tricked, he took them off and inspected them again.

He chuckled, the sage had put small crescent moons at the center of the ear pieces. Briefly wondering how he'd missed that detail, guessing his hands had covered them before, the shadow demon slides them back on and let his eyes closed as his ears were met with quiet.

'Still full of surprises as always Peaches' as that thought entered his mind, he slowly began to drift off into a slumber until he was fully asleep.

#lego monkie kid #lmk macaque #lmk mk #lmk sun wukong #lmk Pigsy #lmk mei #technically could be seen as shadowpeach #if you squint #but i intended more friendship feels with em than romantic #like exes that are getting along again as friends kinda deal

29 notes · View notes

jacky-rubou · 1 year

Note

🌈💝🤍 (be answering yours when I get home :D)

🌈 is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I really struggled with A Steady Heart Goes 1, 2, 3, 4. Not only because I had a 'losing all my year's worth of writing at once' scare earlier this year that was thankfully resolved within 24 hours that happened in the midway point of the fic, but also because it was such a long one shot that it was very draining. And I felt like I needed to do a lot of research on pacemakers even though most of the info became Ford's infodump at Dipper haha.

as for multichaptered fics, Dead on Arrival was such a huge deal to me and I worked so hard to get it written and posted, even recruiting a previous friend to help with ideas for it. I had a heck of a time figuring out how to have Stan escape the police and solve his problems that it ended up kinda feeling a little rushed (also because I was running out of energy to write by then and this was back when I didn't post until a fic was completely done).

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Honestly, probably The Things You Can't Live Without. When I was writing it, I wasn't even expecting to post it as I felt self conscious about tagging the artist and having them be upset or whatever about how I killed Ford off so easily. or writing a fic for it at all tbh. Seeing that you wrote a fic for it gave me the confidence I needed to post, so thank you for the indirect help. Also the fact that I had written and posted a similar 'Ford dies around the time of the portal' fic didn't help my confidence in being 'original'.

the fact that it got as much love as it did, and even a positive reblog from the artist, just blew me away. Also your comment on it yesterday is still making me see stars (in a good way). It's forefront on my mind and the one I've been rereading over and over to see if I can understand the hype and I think I can. Probably not to the same degree of praise though tbh (I'm my own worst critic and all). I just never expected such praise for it.

🤍 what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

It's one of my weirder fics and one that I completely understand why some didn't get, but probably Conjoined. It's an older and more amateur feeling fic of mine now (so weird to think of it like that) but I guess how I handled the ending was weird and maybe against some themes of the show, but I liked how I handled it and the Stans' closeness. Though it's a fic I haven't gathered the courage to reread after I got the criticism that lead me to think it's right for this question... it was my first multichaptered fic though, so I wish I could gather that courage...

anyway, thanks for the ask, I had fun writing it out.

#AskJacky #ask game #fics #fanfic #gravity falls #i had so much to say and i didn't even realize it until i started writing #awaiting your answers to my ask now >:)

2 notes · View notes

jess-oh · 3 months

Text

what do i title this

Hello, journal!

I dont think I've actually ever reread an entry until today. A part of me was always so afraid of the shame I'd feel of who I used to be. I haven't written here in a while since I realize I kept trying to think my way out of everything which caused a severe disconnect between my heart and my mind but my therapist, Sophia Ou, encouraged me to journal again to process my thoughts but to instead focus on how I feel instead so I'm here to give it a go!

Current update on where I'm at in life. I still live in Chicago on Buena Ave in Buena Park. I started going to Planet Fitness a couple months ago and am still trying to figure out a good schedule between traditional workouts and climbing. I have a new schedule for this week and I feel pretty good about it. It consists of waking up at 6:30am Monday through Thursday where I workout before work Monday through Wednesday, climb after work Wednesday, climb before on Thursday, and after service on Sunday. I'm slowly becoming entirely too busy again. I do really enjoy serving youth group but Cara has been pushing for us, me and Khalid, to be more involved and dedicate more time to the ministry/greater church recently. I already am so busy and have been enjoying having no social plans scheduled during the week. I do my best to give her space to speak and share her ideas but sometimes it's hard to interject and communicate my thoughts and concerns. There's also some semblance of guilt that quietly goes along with it. Who am I to disagree with her stance as it relates to matters of the church when I, myself, am not all right, with God? I just really need to carve out time in my schedule to dedicate to him again. I remember around this time, last year, I was super dedicated to doing daily QTs as I was losing my mind over the potential opportunity of moving to a new city for a Google Fellowship. I have built so much of my life in Chicago and giving that all up for 6 months shook me to my very core. I don't think I was mentally prepared to take that risk then but so much has changed now. I'm not that close with Sophie and Thor anymore, I've been at a new church post Lakeview for a while now, and have generally grown as a person. I hangout with Earl and Gongjoo a lot more now, which has been great, especially getting to play with Ellia! Her first birthday was only a couple months ago! I love her so much!

If the opportunity for a new job arose today, I would still feel hesitant to take it but I feel a lot more prepared now. Thank you for knowing what I needed at that time, God.

Currently, I'm a graphic designer at Freeosk. I've technically been here for 3 years since my hire date but my full time Freeoskiversary is on June 1st. I recently started looking into UX Design and while there is still much research to do before fully making the career jump, I actually feel pretty good about pursuing this path. Even the thought of being able to research and gather data made me feel excited for some internal work on a Freeosk project recently. I need to work on my fear of public speaking and be more comfortable with presenting but I think this feels like a good idea.

God, I pray for guidance as I attempt to navigate my next steps from here. I'm not sure what you have planned for my life and I know I so often rely only on my shoulders but I definitely want to make sure I'm right by you first before actually making any life changing decisions moving forward. I don't yet know what the future holds but I am excited to found out. For once, I am excited for life and what it can bring. I am no longer so afraid of the pain but I am bright-eyed for a brighter future. Please let this future come.

I had a series of unfortunate events happen recently(e.g. scraped car door pretty bad and had to pay 2k for repairs, 2 credit cards and $100 cash stolen from wallet, my dad got laid off and still hasnt found a job in 2 months, my relationship with my sister got tense because of my disproval of her boyfriend, i realized i outgrew my friendship with sophie, and i havent been right with God lately). I've been doing my best to just keep my head held up high and push through but it has admittedly been hard and discouraging. Not yet depressing discouraging but definitely a challenge, nonetheless.

Thank you for all that you have done and will do for my life, God.

I pray this all in your name,

Amen.

#long time no see

0 notes

thetwelfthcrow · 2 years

Note

Hello! Friendly Neighborhood Music Anon here to spread some music because that Quadrant Live has ENDED me. ("you two really are like a married couple!" Lando: 😁😁😁😁😁.) (And I may have been swayed with the idea of more of your writing because I've read all the things. Multiple times.) So today's offering is a very angsty "Call you Mine" by Daughtry. 🧡 I Have written things but too shy to post. 😭

HI APOLOGIES FOR THE LONG WAIT but music notrell is back!

hi music anon !! i finally have time to look at the song you sent!

call you mine by Daughtry

the verse starts like this;

Well it may sound crazy Turn me away, I get it But in another time It was you and me I can tell you where you're going Tell you where you've been I can't get enough Let me tell you Let me tell you, tell you

this feels like max's jealousy over (car)lando, how everyone's hyping that up and max is out there like, he used to be my teammate. or maybe after the announcement that lando and luisa are together, especially since that is after they moved out of The House (even tho they've barely been separated since)

then it's the chorus;

We know each other from a different life The dreams, the memories, I recognize the way you felt The way you held me up against you But I can't call you mine We'll keep on coming till we get it right This place, we've seen it a million times I won't forget you, can't remember me without you But I can't call you mine, yeah I can't call you mine

which feels like max constantly missing out on lando - like them just not being together, or working towards something romantic but right before they kiss, they get together, they confess, or whatever, there's something else lando's up to. as i said, carlando, luisa, pick your poison.

verse two intrigues me so much;

I can't ignore the way you looked at me When I called you by your name If I could make you see You'd stop hiding in this way So come and get me one more time Tell me the lies I tell myself Won't you tell me Won't you tell me, tell me

it's like max seeing how lando loves him, how lando wants him, but something (media, internalised homophobia, parents, whatever) is stopping lando from being true to himself.

and lastly we have the bridge;

But I know that I can feel it Can you feel it? Cause I can't let go No I can't walk away Can you feel it? I can feel it, yeah So I won't let go No, I can't walk away I'll never walk away I'll never walk away

max is so attached <3333 forever there with lando, not choosing his own path, but always following where lando needs him (if you were to switch the idea that lando does things for max, but instead max is accepting all lando does for him in order to please lando)

tldr; painful song! very angsty! but gorgeous and i can really dive into max's feelings with this one! but you could also see it as lando's hurt, or lando's want and pining!

i've added it to the nortrell playlist (which is open to anyone to add songs!)

and why thank you for your lovely compliment !! it's really kind of you to reread my little brainmush haha! i haven't touched any nortrell wips in quite some time but they're always on my mind. maybe when i finish this big work i'm on, I'll get back to them <3

and if you're to shy to post, you can always hmu and send me your work and if you want i can beta it for you? be your personal cheerleader? you got this bb <3

#music anon #nortrell playlist #nortrell #zhalia’s lil’ chit chat

8 notes · View notes

elriel-oblivion · 3 years

Text

So it's been four days so here's part two 😁 Just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who read/liked/commented/reblogged the last part! It was such an amazing response, especially given it was my first time posting my writing here, so thanks for all the love you shared 🥰🥰

Heads up, this part is actually part one from Elain's pov. Initially I wanted to continue from where the last part left off in Elain's pov, but as I was writing the background, I realised I'd written too much to just skip when Az gets to the estate and cut straight into a continuation of part one, so I ended up rewriting the whole thing in her view. So there's no new elriel moments, but you'll get a lot of new stuff anyway 😅 I would've said you don't have to read this part to understand part three, but when I was rereading the later parts a few hours ago, I realised there's some stuff that alludes to things in this part, so I strongly recommend you don't skip this 😅😅

Also, wow, some of my fave paragraphs I've ever written are in this part 😁 Bonus points if you can find them; there are four I'm thinking of in particular 😉

Word count: ~ 3.1K. Lemme know if you'd like to be tagged/removed 😊 Next part up in two or three days 😊

AO3

Ashes from the Deep

Part II

It had been a pretty uneventful day as Elain worked through her new plant textbook. Feyre and Rhysand had decided to spend the weekend away at the mountain cabin, Cassian and Nesta were away doing things she wished not to think of, and Mor was at the Winter Court.

Amren had only been round in the mornings, probably to check Elain was still alive. She'd glance round the living room, examine some of those fine crystal glasses in the display cabinet and then leave. There was no difference today, though Elain always felt Amren's scrutiny upon her even when that muted silver gaze was directed elsewhere; perusing Rhys' wine collection had become a tired ruse.

So besides preparing and taking her meals with Nuala and Cerridwen, Elain had spent her afternoon with her book, making notes and copying drawings. The twins had gone off on some errands, so she'd wandered into the garden at some point to tend to her many plants, telling them how lovely they each were. The crocuses looked particularly stunning this autumn day, their pale violet colour breathing life into the shades beneath some of the trees.

With her book, she'd identified new weeds, digging into the soil to rip some pesky ones out. Sometimes she didn't want the help of a tool; sometimes she needed to feel those roots on her bare skin.

Harvesting the carrots and beetroot was also on the agenda today, along with seeding for some spectacular displays next year. She'd been collecting the seeds from some of her summer blooms, like those soft clouds of baby's breath, saving them to replant. These she sowed directly into ground she'd prepared days before, her fingers digging into the crumbly clumps of earth.

Autumn onions she'd plant tomorrow, perhaps. Feyre always remarked on how their strong taste complimented meats well, so Elain wanted to harvest some fresh for her sister for once. It'd take a few months of waiting, but there was little else better than picking out and eating food one had grown with their bare hands and the essential ingredients of love and care.

Setting her book on the patio table, Elain surveyed the garden. It was a good day's work. Plants watered and sown, weeds uprooted, and hands sweaty and soiled, Elain was proud of what she'd achieved today. There were no distractions, nothing to take her from the one thing she always found satisfaction in.

After a long shower, she found herself back in the garden with a cup of tea and a blanket. The sunset washed the sky in a blaze of red and orange glory before it yielded to the cool tones of twilight then night. Elain sat in silence, hands wrapped around her mug. How long would it be until someone's arms were wrapped around her, until she felt the warmth her sisters finally had?

Silly, these thoughts. Immortality stretched far ahead, there would be time to develop that companionship. Months and years were but a heartbeat in the life of a High Fae. She wouldn't even notice the years pass.

Or so everybody else kept saying.

With her tea finished, she perused the book of recipes she'd borrowed from Nuala. Some recipes jumped out, ingredients for which she'd been growing for a few months now. Pumpkin pie sounded especially delightful, the gourd having almost darkened and hardened to ripe quality just a couple days ago. They should be ready for harvest tomorrow.

A chill wind sent Elain inside to prepare and have her dinner in pleasant silence. Even her mind was quiet tonight. After washing her dishes, she stood by a bay window, fingers idly tapping the windowsill.

Faelights bobbed like tiny lamps, dotted through the garden. The full moon was now high in the sky, its ghostly glow illuminating the datura flowers she'd seeded half a year ago. She pulled on her blanket and went out again for a better look at those gorgeous blooms, the petals opening only at night.

Elain couldn't be happier she'd found seeds of a triple-flowered variety. They'd grown to produce large trumpets, three layers of petals ruffled against each other. Somehow she thought of her sisters as she crouched and stared at the flowers, each layer so similar, yet fighting for space and breath as it unfurled before another. It was only when they were all fully open that they could sigh along the night breeze as one, an ethereal song of togetherness, tinged with notes of poignancy, only heard by those with the will to look deeper.

The white petals were stained with velvet violet, a true vision in her garden. While the others had given her passing compliments on the flowers, Azriel had seemed stunned the first time he saw them, citing them his favourite of all the plants Elain had grown so far. Something about their shape and contrasting colours, he'd mentioned.

She smiled fondly at the memory, where his eyes sparkled as he reached for one of the soft petals.

Her hand lashed out to grab his wrist. 'Don't touch them; the leaves and stems are highly poisonous.'

His brows rose. 'You wouldn't think that at first sight. But they're beautiful, Elain. Truly magnificent,' he said, his smooth voice so low, a voice that was night given sound. And how befitting, as even those datura flowers seemed enraptured by his presence, one shy petal finally unfurling towards him.

She beamed at him. 'They like you. Flowers like it when you talk to and compliment them - but these ones haven't given me the same reaction as they have to you. I think they really like you, Azriel.'

His answering smile was heartbreakingly tender.

A few more seconds passed before she realised she still held his wrist. She silently let go.

It was a shame she'd have to dig out the datura shrub and move it inside for the winter; it did look magnificent in the moonlight.

The sky shifted past its midnight velvet, and still Elain crouched, admiring the flowers. She shivered in the night's chill. The stars above twinkled and glistened, cold and distant as ever, yet stunning - infinitely more striking than they'd ever been when she was human. A thousand different colours sparkled in that vast expanse, the moon a phosphorescent queen in the centre of her court.

The Night Court truly lived up to its name in the wee hours of the day. Its opulence never failed to mesmerise her; the enhanced Fae eyesight was at least one thing she was grateful for from this body.

Her eyelids became heavy and she yawned. Why was she still out here? It was late into the night; she should be in bed by now. But the night was so beautiful and it was so quiet and she wanted to appreciate it all just once. Just once without the expectations of others, without having to wear that miserable smile all the time.

Of course, it didn't look miserable, which is probably why almost nobody ever bothered to look deeper into Elain. She should be used to it by now, but it still felt - wrong. That most overlooked her so long as she wore a smile. That most didn't think her capable of feeling the utter bitterness and loneliness she had once seen so plain on her sisters' faces.

And in acknowledgement of her sisters' hardships, Elain didn't fault them for not looking, for not seeing her. To see past the thick blanket of darkness in one's own mind was a trial in itself. But it had been years since the war now. And still they didn't notice.

They didn't notice that Elain was being shredded from the inside out.

It was almost laughable. But not funny enough.

No, it was not funny that people still treated Elain like a child, that people wanted to keep Elain in some weird impasse of a stage between child and adult. She'd thought finally carrying out her duty and giving her hand in marriage would show everyone that she was growing up: Elain Archeron, middle born but first married. Of course it was still on her own terms, to a man whom she'd loved. A man who'd seen her through the rubble of her family's lives. But she'd overall hoped doing what was expected of her would be enough.

Clearly not. She didn't even know who she was any more. Did she ever? Everything she'd once yearned for, gone. That fragile human life would soon be just a speck on the horizon of her past.

She sighed. Rebuilding herself was going to take a long time.

But what would she have to do for people to see her, to listen to her? Throw a rage? Fall into a drunken stupor and break a few dozen bottles?

She definitely could, but those were not her. She was Elain Archeron. And so she would wait. Patience wasn't a bad thing at all; she saw it on the shadowsinger's face all the time, that tranquility and calmness she so wished to feel inside.

Azriel. Her heart softened as he entered her mind again, and she dug her fingers into the soil, if only to occupy her fidgety hands. As sure as the chaos of her visions these days, there was a mess of butterflies related to him she wasn't willing to show. Or understand.

Elain and the spymaster? Now that was laughable. Truly laughable. He was wise and patient, while she - well, everyone already thought her a child, and though he listened like no other around her, surely even he couldn't glimpse the adult she so desperately wanted everyone to see.

No, it was foolish to entertain the idea of a relationship with him. No matter how much he saw.

No matter that he was the first to see her since Graysen.

Elain exhaled. She stifled another yawn, smoothing out the soil, then brushed her hands clean. She wrapped the blanket closer around herself and stood. Twinkling stars and velvety darkness and -

There, a knot of shadows materialising at the far edge of the garden, collecting and swirling into a larger mass before Azriel himself stepped out and sagged against a tree. His shadows whirled and obscured him, a dark fire with him burning at the core.

Elain's voice left her throat before she even thought to call him and she ran over to his figure slumped in the dimness.

She couldn't help but say his name again as she neared. 'Azriel!'

Those beautiful hands fiddled with a Siphon, but he looked even worse up close. Fatigue dragged at his body, a second weight to all the muscle and armour he already had to carry. Sweat and dirt clung to him, his hair. At least the shadows were parting, swallowing each other and misting away as they often did around her. Perhaps she should ask someday why they did that. But not today, not when his breathing was so laboured.

She raised a hand - to do what, she had no idea. She couldn't just touch him right now. 'You don't look okay.'

Something else limned his features as he huffed a light laugh and said, 'I'm fine, don't worry.' His voice was raw, so starkly different to its usual icy smoothness. It was common for him to guard his emotions, but in his state, this kind of thinking was just unhealthy. What would it take for him to be honest with her?

'You don't have to pretend with me, Azriel,' she said, lowering her hand. She studied the ground, embarrassed that she'd come up to him. What could she even offer in her pathetic childlike state when he was so clearly affected by his mission right now?

His hand rose. Her heart faltered, she had to do something, and she blurted, 'Can I wash your hair, please?'

His eyes widened, his entire composure crumbling. It wasn't often that the shadowsinger looked startled, but Elain was far too shy to show that she quite liked the effect her question had on him.

'You want to wash my hair?'

His face was so exquisite, it hurt to look at it. His eyes would be even worse; it wouldn't be the first time she was rendered speechless by their kind gaze. A myriad of colours swirled in their glistening depths - gorgeous greens and brilliant browns, all so natural and rich, if only she could look at them long enough to find their matches in the garden around her. Though, his eyes were an entire spectrum of colour in their own right. How would she ever pick out each and every shade?

And if she somehow did have the courage to meet his eyes now, what would she see of herself in their reflection?

A lovesick puppy? A doe-eyed, fearful fawn?

No, she didn't want to know.

So she swallowed and focused on his hair. Perhaps this Fae eyesight was a curse, for even his hair was shockingly fascinating. Only flat black from a distance, the faelights bobbing about the trees highlighted layer upon layer of silky raven locks up close. His hair was so dark it seemed to absorb the surrounding light. Mud stained one side of his head, and it was an effort to keep her hands from brushing it away, so she said, 'I'm positive that's mud and you shouldn't sleep with that in your hair. It'll only take a few minutes.'

He ran a hand through his hair, clumps of dirt falling out.

'You've managed to get some on your face, too.' There were light specks of mud and blood across his face, a more noticeable patch along his cheekbone, thrown into sharper relief by the faelights and his own weariness. Was that a cut beneath the patch? And another on his temple?

She leashed her arms.

What had happened? He wore the signs of a fight, but why would he come here when he knew Elain was the only one home?

His eyes bored into her face, but she refused to meet them. He seemed to lean forward then, stumbling.

Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous that he wouldn't even acknowledge he was in need. Azriel rarely stumbled. Any fatigue Elain had felt just a while ago was now burrowing down a little longer. Her voice was firm when she spoke. 'I'm washing your hair. It'll help relax you into falling asleep.'

His brows rose, but if Elain stood there one more moment she wouldn't have the courage to do anything for him. For herself - she could take care of someone else. She could do for Azriel what she hadn't done for Feyre all those years as a human.

And for Azriel, she could tend to the male who'd provided her with comfort and safety in this world of distress and danger.

So she pulled him along, clenching her jaw and refusing to look back. Her heart hammered in her chest but she continued, hand wrapped round his armoured arm. Her hand slid down to his wrist but just as she was about to replace her grip, he grabbed her other hand and pulled her into him.

The shadows instantly began to ensconce them, dozens of those cool tendrils twining like vines. The estate loomed huge before them, and Elain gripped Azriel's hand tighter.

'My bathroom,' she said. Beneath the low whisper of those shadows, her blood thrummed, her heart so painfully obvious against her ribs now. It would be a wonder if the spymaster wasn't aware of it. Though she did hear another flutter above, right by her ear. But as expected, the shadows made quick work of their journey and she didn't have the chance to dwell on it further.

Now out of the comfort of Azriel's hold, Elain set down her blanket and made to grab a chair from her bedroom. His dark presence was so overwhelming that she exhaled lightly as she entered the room and took the chair. She dragged it to the sink, avoiding his gaze, and pulled a towel, soap and a large jug from the cupboard by the door.

As she settled the soap and jug on the sink, she dared a glance at him. He was still clad in full armour, those black scales gleaming like obsidian over his skin, his Siphons glistening jewels across his body. 'I think you'll have to collapse your armour for this,' she said.

He inclined his head and tapped a Siphon, those scales lashing back into each other with cruel elegance. They were a mirror of their master: cold, controlled and unyielding, forged from scintillating darkness. He was a night sky riddled with stars; light existed if only one bothered to look for it.

Azriel's great wings righted themselves as he stood straight, now looking smaller in just his black tunic and trousers. Something about him seemed vulnerable without the armour, so Elain breathed, 'It's beautiful, all of it.' The hulking armour, the classic simplicity of the tunic and trousers, and the male who wore them all.

He was just so wonderful, Azriel. An enigma that could see her own. Her heart clenched.

Azriel rustled his wings, colour blossoming on his cheeks.

Elain blinked and pulled the chair out a little. 'Please sit.' As he sunk down, she rested the towel on his shoulders, hovering her fingers above his forehead. Her body tensed and her fingers remained suspended. It was like a spark of tension flickered in the space between their skin, teasing her, tempting her, taunting her.

After all, she'd offered to wash his hair, an act that would certainly require touching. But why was she so hesitant? She'd touched him before - kissed his cheek, even. Although that had been in the heat of adrenaline, a mark of her gratitude where a simple thank you wouldn't suffice, not for risking his own life for hers.

This was - what was this?

She finally lowered her fingers through that tense spark, pushing his head back against the sink. It was exhilarating, this contact, but he lowered his wings, shifting on the seat. Elain moved into the space he gave, turning on the tap as he went still. Just as her body was taut, taut as the skin of a drum.

She checked the water. Warm. It was time to start.

Azriel was looking up at her. Something like yearning swirled in his eyes.

He looked so tired. It made her heart ache.

'You can close your eyes,' Elain whispered. And he did.

___

Feedback's welcomed; thanks for reading 😊

If anyone wants to know what the datura flowers look like, CTTO:

@illyrian-lover-flower @julesherondalex @nooriee @mis-lil-red @verifiefangirl @tswaney17

#elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #elriel #acotar

68 notes · View notes

cuntinaclownsuit · 2 years

Note

i was thrilled to see your post about the new TMWFTE because it is indeed hard to find other people who have read the book or even know about it since it's not that popular. i mean it can't be exactly unpopular if there's several film adaptions of it but it's not like harry potter books that you can find from basically any bookstore in almost every country. i live in finland and i had to do some serious work to get my hands on a copy.

when i first watched the 1976 movie i didn't know about the novel and i was just very confused but also intrigued. when i found out that the movie was "based" (i put that in quotations because apparently nicolas roeg wasn't even going for a movie adaption of the novel but rather took inspiration from it and did his own thing) on a novel i was basically obsessed with finding a copy and reading it. now it's been a few years since i last read the book so i can't remember all the details but i do remember absolutely loving it and i should read it again to refresh my memory.

in a way i do understand filmmaker's need to put their own spin on things but i don't understand why they can't do so within the existing plot and characters. like write your own damn story if you're not going to even loosely follow the plot of the source material.

and YES it is so frustrating to watch the 1976 movie because bowie is absolutely perfect for the role! i don't mind the movie in itself because it's a weird 70's flick which is right up my alley but after reading the novel and knowing what it could have been it gets a lot harder to accept nicolas roeg's creative decisions. the cookie scene IS hilarious tho. 😂 i actually really like the aesthetics of the movie but i might be a bit biased because i love 70's style so much. i totally agree with you about the anthean costume design. i think it looks cool and surprisingly modern even by today's standards.

holy shit this is getting so long i'm sorry. 😅 just one more "quick" question: if someone gave you a bunch of money and told you to make a new TMWFTE movie what would you do? like who would you cast and what kind of music and locations would you use etc.?

btw after a very quick google search it seems that the 80's version is a tv movie and not series. sorry my bad!

Okay I have way too much to say so I'll put it under a cut

I remember when I was searching for the book I wasn't even able to find one until they just happened to re-release it in 2017 and I got lucky. I did this weird thing where the first time I read half the book, watched the movie, and then finished reading it, so I think if I had just watched the film first I would probably hate it less, but who knows. Last month I reread the novel so it's still pretty fresh in my head - the movie I haven't seen for years though.

I didn't know that Nic Roeg's intention was just to make an "adaptation", so that does explain a lot, but idk I just think that's annoying. I think the movie is inaccurate enough that they could have just written any story without attaching the novel's name to it but whatever. The problem is that the changes they made just make no sense and I'm going to rant about why.

The main plot in the novel is that Newton comes to Earth to build a spacecraft that will travel to Anthea and bring the rest of his people back. They destroyed their planet, wiped out two other species (which is never even touched on at all even though I thought it was one of the most interesting parts of the book), only about three hundred Antheans are left so there’s really no saving it anyway. Then, the plan was for the Antheans to live amongst the humans and attempt to help them with their superior technology and intellect in the foreseeable nuclear war. In the movie they change it to Newton building a spacecraft to take water back to Anthea which never made any sense to me. Because like… eventually the water would run out again right? What’s their future plan, to just keep siphoning water from Earth until neither planets have any left? Doesn’t sound like a good plan from what’s supposed to be an extremely intellectual species. It just makes no sense to change it.

And I don't think the characters are interesting/like-able enough for you to get really attached to them. Apart from Newton, we know practically nothing about any of the other characters. All we know about Bryce is that he’s divorced (in the novel he was a widower) and has a daughter and that he’s a fucking creep. All we know about Mary Lou is that she used to ride on trains as a kid and that she has no problems with fucking a married man. Mary Lou is just annoying. Not a single thing her character does improves the story or makes me want to watch it. She’s whiny, all she cares about is herself and drinking, she throws fits for no reason. She’s a mess, there is just nothing enjoyable about her at all. And why change her name? I don't understand the point of that. The only reason she’s there is for the romance plot-line - which, again, adds nothing and wasn’t in the book at all. Betty Jo in the novel was Newton’s housekeeper and friend, there’s no reason to add her as a love interest WHEN HE HAS A WIFE AT HOME HOLY SHIT. Betty-Jo takes interest in Newton, but it’s evident he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care so she doesn’t try to pursue it any further. The romance and sex scenes were just pointless fan service - an excuse to see David Bowie’s dick and that’s it. (Also how does Newton even have human sex in the first place when his genitals are artificial? I never got that either).

When it comes to Bowie's acting, he doesn’t pull off the wry, almost witty side of Newton at all. In the book Newton could have an attitude. He talked back to the doctors experimenting on him. He could keep up in a conversation. The only part of Newton Bowie really plays into is the mysterious, other-worldly aspects of him, but of course he pulls that off well because that’s just how David Bowie is whether he’s playing a character or not. I need more from his acting, more from the character, otherwise he doesn't give me much reason to sympathize with him at the end of the movie. I'm more sorry for the rest of his people than what happened to him.

Nathan Bryce is almost as unlikable as Mary-Lou, which doesn’t make any of his scenes enjoyable to watch either. And he betrays Newton too?? What was the point of that? His interest in the novel was in figuring out what Newton was up to, whether his suspicions on him being an alien or not were true, and making sure Newton wasn't planning on taking over Earth. He’s a great character in the book, pretty much the only other friend to Newton besides Betty Jo, and the movie just ruins it completely. Like, almost all of the characters are intolerable, so it doesn't make the movie enjoyable at all. I think if the script had actually been written well and the characters flushed out a little more beyond like one whole personality trait a piece (if that) then all of the actors probably would have done a significantly better job.

In the tags of my last post @silver-fawnx added this and I wanted to touch on that while I'm at it because it can serve as a good conclusion to my ranting lmao.

As to why people love this movie so much I genuinely think if it didn’t have David Bowie, this movie wouldn’t be that memorable at all nor would it have become a cult classic. Because, really, what about this movie stands out beyond David Bowie? It’s certainly not what Rip Torn or Candy Clark are most remembered for. It’s not like it had a mind-blowing soundtrack or revolutionary cinematography or anything. It’s a bizarre, poorly-written seventies sci-fi that happens to star David Bowie and that’s about it. If anyone else played Newton it wouldn't have been nearly as iconic. Or I could be being way too harsh and completely wrong, I don't know, it's just my thoughts on it.

Now I'll answer your question sorry I kind of went off there. If I were to make my own version of TMWFTE, I think I'd probably have most of the filming be done in Kentucky for the authenticity. For the scenes in Anthea I'd choose some cold, barren area like the arctic deserts in Greenland. I'd get Brian Eno to do some weird ambient music for the score.

Casting is hard though, because all the people I'd want to cast are way out of age range. I had a hard time deciding this and I'm still not 100% sold on my choices but: For Betty Jo, if I were making it thirty years ago I'd go with Kathy Bates, but she's too old now, so instead maybe Melissa McCarthy. For Bryce I'd go with Jude Law. For Newton I'd pick Australian actor Kodi Smit-McPhee (who I honestly never heard of before today but he looks like he fits the physical description really well). For Farnsworth... idk Danny DeVito maybe.

I'd focus way more on the Antheans and their culture. Like how they function (the novel talks about how Newton's digestive system works, how he can only eat certain things, how he can handle cold temperatures because Anthea is farther from the sun, how the difference in gravity ways him down, I just think things like that would be interesting to focus on). I'd have far more of it take place on Anthea, like maybe we could see more of the aliens beyond Newton and his family, explore a little on the past wars that they had in the, or on Newton preparing for his journey to Earth. Like stuff about how the Anthean society used to work compared to what is barely left of it by the time the story starts; I think that would be cool. Also, I'd show more of Newton’s patents/inventions and how they work. And, finally, I would absolutely make sure the scene where Newton dips his fake fingernails in some water solution and then claps them off is in the movie. Idk I just always thought that part was so interesting.

Thank you for (once again) letting me rant about all this, I needed it 😂

#the man who fell to earth #david bowie #this was way too long I'm sorry I just couldn't stop once I started #this took like two hours to write jslkdflsk

3 notes · View notes

cheolbooluvr · 3 years

Note

im glad you're having fun with these!!!!! 😭 i do admit to having a mild crisis every time i reread my messages (EDIT: AS I AM DOING NOW WHEN I SCROLLED ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP...) to check if i have worded correctly and see just how much i have in fact written, so that's reassuring to hear, haha. i mean i definitely wouldn't have minded cutting down on my messages!

omg... so you're saying we could be height twins... or like. height twins within a few cms like that still counts in my onion. as someone who has stopped growing i am living vicariously through your possible height growth! i do that a lot with my taller friends even, like i know someone that's 2m/6'56" tall and idk i specifically like to picture him standing next to mingyu lmao

and i honestly think you are a perfect amount of descriptive! I've read more of your fics since we last spoke (pretty much went on a mini angst marathon because that's what i was in the mood for) and you give the audience more than enough that anything you haven't described they can fill in their own while reading, which i think is a difficult skill to balance! both in setting up fics with descriptions and also just scenery and emotional descriptions! i had a lot of fun (well, as much as you can reading angst) reading through your fics, and the way you detail things is definitely a large part of it! because it is easy to not do enough and have the reader think the characters are interacting in a dark void, or too much and have the descriptions slow down the pacing and action completely, but you don't have either issue! and hehe your thanks is all that's needed! or well just hearing me out is all you have to do, really. ^^ ao3 is worth posting on i think! it can definitely be a little intimidating to navigate at first (i know it was for me... what do you mean i have to write a summary) but for whatever reason there's something about how it's set up that makes it feel like you're less yelling into the void the way it can feel on tumblr? like you're not submitted to the whims of whether people will see your story in the tags or on their dash, so it feels less like ah, my fic is buried if it hasn't gained traction within like... a week. plus it's weirdly interesting even just watching your hit counter go up for stories, because it means that someone has willingly clicked on it after however you've briefed them. I mean I feel like nowadays with how digital everything is you can probably avoid developing film unless that type of photography is something you're interested in! also that's so cool that you are a photographer though! are you a freelancer? what so you like taking photos of?

ahhh okay so I built two computers so I might be able to help with this! as much as i can in text haha! (hopefully I don't sound patronising, I am super conscious of that 😔) I feel like the only thing you need to worry about with ram sticks is im assuming you have two of them because that's a common amount? and where you slot them in on the motherboard will be four slots, and I've been told you gotta fill in the slots alternatively! so like either the first and third, or second and forth! there's also a singular notch where the pins are to plug it in which lines up in the slot so you can't put it in the wrong way. you'll know when it feels right to push in because you shouldn't have to apply more than slight pressure to slot it in place! again sorry in advanced if I've just like... well I'm not a man but mansplained it to you haha. I just am invested in your journey to have photoshop run better. okay so I was hoping to go home to where my computer is but sadly I have yet to do so so sorry for not being able to document my process yet 😭 i could probably just send u the tutorial that I basically used which would have the same info but like? is that condescending ????

i do very much enjoy it! like whether or not I do it a public extent i need to write or I just get restless with creative energy. my latest wip has actually been consuming me... its looking to be my longest ever so far and since I've started I have not stopped writing since... and I think its been a month or so now? I'm curious, when you started writing, I'm presuming it was for another fandom other than seventeen? Or maybe original work? either way what did you start with? But yeah for sure, especially on a social network like tumblr where you can specifically see how much engagement each post gets, which also unfortunately has a lot of influence on how many people see it

RIGHT 😭 it has similar vibes to the healing mv and snapshoot special video of seventeen just having fun in a music video

hehe you're very welcome! like I said, I'm pretty familiar with being a writer on here, so it's really the least I can do! plus I get to read good fic, so it's a win win? and I definitely liked it enough to go through pretty much all your angst fics aside from Josh's multichaptered fic, although ill get to it at some point! also for the ceo wonwoo angst fic... is it wild that while the resolution was very cute and you ended it super satisfactorily, the minor particular angst craver in me went well, what if he only found out about mcs resignation through a letter? 👀 I am glad that he didn't and it ended in a cute confession though! it would be but don't feel pressured to go outside of what you're inspired to! like you can definitely write romance and romcoms and falling in love and having your heart broken, and there's nothing wrong with sticking to that! I will admit I'm very curious to see how you would tackle other genres (me personally as a writer: I am a sucker for some higher stakes), but that's not a pressuring thing (I hope!!!!) and honestly so long as you're writing you're growing, or at least i think so hehe.

chris number one boo stan and we're here for it 🥺 right? I think for me like I can sometimes have issues processing the stuff I hear so voice calls/video calls can be kind of a nightmare... and that's when they're not with an international kpop star haha. Imagine if it was a minute of me talking to jun and its just me going pardon? sorry, what did you say? I would remember that for the rest of my life. although I have made a joke that since I've had dreams where five out if the thirteen members of seventeen have tried to kill me in some way, if that ever reaches thirteen out of thirteen, id sign up for a fansign just to be like hey why tf did u try to murder me that's a little impolite except I wouldn't actually do it haha. oh absolutely! It definitely makes sense because I feel the same way! I think as a person I'm conscious of power dynamics and while it's not seventeens fault at all (or well it is but its because they're so loveable) it does mean i don't particularly want to approach them as a fan. one thing that does freak me out tho is how I have a couple like.. friend of a friend of a friend scenario's that do have connections to seventeen though haha, although id never make anything of it. Like someone I kno knows someone else that went to high school with joshua, for example, and a different someone I know knows someone who's been a backup dancer for seventeen.

oooh being a day-1 fan is so cool though! I don't think I could say that of any group that I've been into! who was your bias in bts? id ask that of sf9 too but I sadly don't know them all that well haha. it is wild when you put it like that though. but very sweet if you think about how seventeen inspire us creatively

hehehe it's a very cute type to have! the duality of intimidating looking guys being soft huge teddy bears is very appealing, and I have a similar type except instead of cute puppy dog types I tend to go for cat types instead, who are intimidating but are sweethearts, actually. also yes seungcheol is a giant teddy bear UNLESS its something where he can get competitive in. then he will go absolutely all in

I need to!!!!!! hopefully during this weekend I'll have time to watch at least one of them hehe. which one should I watch first, in your onion? omg yes that was my favourite part of mouse busters too he's so cute and rascally FHJDJSJDD and love seungkwan for tickling him

that sounds like some minghao magic because boy oh boy does he talk about like... being in carats dreams when he's like I'll see you in your dreams to them! I even saw a weibo post where he said to another carat like, 'in your dreams, I'm yours' and I was like minghao. we need to fight. and yes we love the circle of stanning life!!!!!

its so funny when seventeen bicker they really don't let each other get away with anything but they're so in tune with each other that the second it seems like a member is faltering they switch right back to being encouraging. oh yes absolutely haha. I would like to see u punch mingyu and seungcheol for that

ooooh i mean impossible to have bad taste when talking about your favourite seventeen albums but yes these were all super iconic albums! I love the songs you listed, especially with teen, age (plus high key teen,age had the best concept diversity imo... I straight up bought like 3 out of 4 versions because of that). I will say I haven't seen a lot of people say home run is their favourite title track but tbh that just makes you leader of the pack haha.

as for mine, I'm still a huge fan of going seventeen (honestly mostly a no skip, aside from beautiful, which, while its not a song I dislike, I do have to be in a particular mood to listen to it) and al1 (which... love the word play in the album name... also my I? my favourite seventeen song, although I am definitely biased)

I hope you've been well btw!!!!!

- 😺 carat anon

ok finally here we go :)) i cleaned my room kind of (ended up giving up halfway thru and just yeeting all my clothes into my closet bc i was tired LOL)

re: height twins...YES!! tho i am not sure i’m still growing but who knows, i haven’t been to the doctor in years LOL but you know what’s so funny? i literally have a friend who is also 6’5” too!!! a whole foot taller than me and honestly i forget how tall he is until i stand next to him. but also i’m just used to it hahaha but everyone always stares at us (him) whenever we go anywhere. also, his gf is 5’0” LOL but they’re cute i love them, but anyways I DIGRESS

AHHH thank you for reading :(((( i try to give the reader some freedom in that sense, so i’m glad it sounds like it’s working T^T i get very self-conscious abt my writing so reading your comments made me <33333 i’ve been trying to add a little more descriptions to slow down the pace at times bc sometimes i feel like i get too impatient writing and i skip the buildup and just jump into the main event/issue too fast but idk ahhh

i will try looking at ao3 some more! i think w the potential of p*st+, ao3 is becoming more appealing, esp after hearing your thoughts on it :3 i enjoy tumblr’s current format and it’s nice to be able to read on the app, but yeah, it’s probably time for me to branch out a little hahah

re: developing/shooting film — i actually think that bc everything is digital, the beautiful thing abt film is that you have to be exact and precise about what you’re capturing, and even then, you can’t check it and you only know after the film is developed. i’ve only taken film photos a couple times, but it’s super fun! and kinda weird bc i want to check the screen out of habit…until i realize there is no screen!! that being said, i’m a photographer-ish? i do it as a hobby, but sometimes i do freelance gigs for friends, but that’s abt it! nothing too serious :o i usually do portraits and landscape photography, but i kinda just take pictures of everything that i think looks cool :)

i figured out my ram sitch!! i just didn’t push it in all the way SMH but i rly thought i broke my computer or smth it was beeping sm ailkfjdla. so funny story, i was messing w the ram right? i had 2 in my motherboard originally, and i didn’t realize only one of them was plugged in correctly, so my computer was slow af and i was like I BROKE MY COMPUTER and i would be listening to spotify and my poor pc just couldn’t handle that and having lightroom open at the same time. so anyways, i fixed it, and added the new ram sticks so we are GOOD TO GO! your explanation def was helpful, dw!! you are not being condescending at all, i rly am a noob about computers. like definitely more knowledgeable than most probably, but also not enough to say i know what i’m doing. i also watched youtube vid to make sure i knew what i was doing hahaha

ah that’s good, i’m glad you enjoy it!! and i feel you on the creative energy—if i have writer’s block then i’ll draw or do design stuff, or just learn songs on my uke to fidget w something and kinda distract myself. whatever it is, i just have to do something. ooh i’m very interested in your latest wip! is it a fanfiction or original story?? honestly i used to be like, i need to write one story a week, but then i quickly realized that i just can’t rush the process, especially being the perfectionist that i am T^T

so i started writing a couple years ago after i took a creative writing class in uni! it was for sci-fi but all my stories were romances LOL (not that you can’t have both, but like *shrugs*). then when pandemic/quarantine happened, that’s when i got back into kpop after a brief hiatus, and actually i started stanning sf9 first (did i mention this already?) but then seventeen came later, but they’re the first and only group i write for! idk why, but the inspo comes more for them than sf9 :[ but TECHNICALLY, i started writing a self-indulgent fic last summer, but it wasn’t until february of this year that i was like, hmm maybe i could post these somewhere? now here i am!! navigating the world of fanfic which honestly, i never expected. i used to be like, ugh ew who would read reader insert fics wtf??? but the tables have turned and now it’s all i write LOL (for fanfic at least, i stick to third person for original stuff).

no rush w the joshua fic!! wahhh i’m glad you liked the ceo wonwoo! it started as an imagine thing i was doing w my friend lol and then i was like ooh maybe i can post this so i cleaned it up a little and voila :D but yeah, i’m like what if mc didn’t tell him, would he have chased after mc? WHO KNOWS (actually, he probably would have). speaking of angst tho, this jun angst i’m writing………oh BOY. part of me is like…should i even post it bc….it hurts me so bad……..can i put other ppl thru that??? IDK

yeah idk the idea of a fan sign…i’m just so shy!! what if i just like don’t say anything at all for my whole time and they’re just there like….um….are you gonna say smth??? but yeah no i totally feel you. also WHAT???? they’ve tried to kill you??? the worst they have done to me in my dreams is ignore me jkldfjkljfdsla but wow the degrees of separation between you and joshua!!! that’s so strange but also so cool! that’s another case where’d be like ahhh idk what to do *runs away*

my bias in bts was jin at first!! then it switched to hobi, then namjoon was my last/current bias tho i don’t stan them the same way i used to :[

it’s funny bc that type also translates to dogs for me HELP like i rly want a pitbull bc they look so intimidating, but they’re so cute and just misunderstood :( like a ginormous lapdog that can crush me w its weight plz!! basically gyucheol LMFAO but i love that seungcheol is competitive bc honestly? me too.

honestly, re: gose, i would do either. maybe mystery mystery just bc that was the first ep of gose 2020?? lmk when you watch it bc it’s so funny how the ep plays out hahahaha also side note, you say onion which is so funny bc i say onion too!! i’m always like, hey, plz tell me your thots and onions and ppl are like ?????? and i’m like yeah :] i said what i said :]

minghao magic!!! that’s so freaking true omg like i think that’s the only way i can explain how i woke up and decided i just loved him so much. that comment AHHHHH he needs to be stopped! but also not rly plz i love you hao T^T

going seventeen had to grow on me a bit!! not a huge boom boom fan (sry boomboomluvrs) but that’s also a song that has grown on me!!! but i feel you, as much as i love svt and their discog, some songs i def need to be in the mood for, and some songs are just straight up better than the others LOL speaking of al1 tho, i was pronouncing it as ‘all one’ for the longest time until i saw a tweet that was like “it’s pronounced alone” or smth and i was like :O R U FOR REAL — i felt dumb lol but the wordplay is so creative!!!

MY I — let’s talk abt this bc this song was one of the first b-sides i listened to and rly solidified my stanning stance on svt. not to mention, i watched mingyu and seungkwan’s perf before junhao’s and then realized holy shit, i LOVE this song. i will never not blast it!!!

incredible taste, anon, truly :]]

#cheolbooluvr asks #😺 carat anon #carat anon event 💎

0 notes

cashewally-sarcastic · 3 years

Note

This theory was mostly born out of the character tags!

Chain seems to be very careful of how they put tags and stuff, especially for the characters

Hell, in the most recent, non-canon arc, they briefly change the tag from Chained Together (not-canon) to Chained Together Updates (canon) when we the Base64 code thing (haven't figured out a way to break the code inside the doc :() happens

For example, especially in the first two arcs, they used character tags to reveal someone's true nature, and even how they think of themselves! For example from Linlin; Local Menace → Link; Hero of Souls and from Shadow; Hero of Light → Shadow; Just a Shadow

It just seemed interesting to me, after re-reading a lot of the stuff, considering Snappy has always been referred to as #Snapdragon but in the flashback, they were just #Liddol Snappy

Enfasis on Snappy

*slams table*

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING CUTESY BUT IDK MAN OVERTHINKING IS MY HOBBY

This sorta brought me down a rabbit hole, and the evidence is there!

**also slight correction, Daisy has talked about Darks before! But never by name, here's the quote

"I dunno! Magic can be twisted a lot, or copied! I still remember when the bad guy copied my signature and made an evil replica of me! It was not fun!!!" (Chain says in the tags of that post that she's talking about Darks)

Plus she says

"A spell's original purpose could also be twisted! That's actually a common origin for curses! But then again, Shadows are living beings! So you could raise them or control them to believe one thing over their original purpose!"

Forgot where I was going with the second quote but it's good to have in mind

So she's basically repeating point 1 and 2, just wanted to say that dksnsk

Alsoalsoalso

I'm so DOWN for Snappy to be a Dark! Man, that would be epic! Especially since the whole story's struggle seems to be with free will. (Maybe that's just me jumping to conclusions dkdksjsk) but yeah, ksnskks that'd be cool

MAN I need to reread ctu, been meaning to do that, so thank you for the reminder table slam anon!

GOD this is so interesting I love your theory! It's so interesting! Big brained!

Also for the base64 cipher (assuming you mean the recent one), there is a google doc with the solution if you want it!

#table slam anon #anons asking #ctu #ctu spoilers #<- just to be safe

0 notes

lurkerdelima · 7 years

Note

Idk if anyone's prompted you that Silverflint kidfic thing yet, so if they haven't? *raises hand* ;D I am a sucker for kidfic. So how about... Silver singing 'dance to your daddy' to a wee babby they can't quite bring themselves to leave at an orphanage. Pretty please with cake on top?

Thank you so much for this! ❤️ I will take all the kidfic prompts that you or anyone else wants to send me, honestly. I deviated from the prompt just a little but I think it's still good. This might end up cross-posted to my AO3 later; for now I'm so eager to post it I'm just putting it here.

Tentatively entitled “these three remain” from the Corinthians verse - and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.

To say things have not gone quite according to plan would be a very large understatement.

Through a series of events this narrator should not like to waste time on, Flint and Silver have found themselves proprietors of a smallish inn on the coast called The Boat & Bird, living in the back rooms under a flimsy ruse of being business partners.

There are two adjoining bedrooms at the back of the inn; one sits entirely unused.

On an otherwise unremarkable rainy, dreary day a harried young woman comes to stay at their inn. She brings with her a baby girl no older than perhaps eight months, a green-eyed sweetling with soft dark curls and a dimpled smile.

She seems an easy enough baby to Silver, who never does learn her name - her mother is called Madeleine. Still, despite the baby’s sweet disposition, the mother has difficulty with her. Madeleine has a short temper and tends to yell at the babe when she fusses for too long. More and more Silver helps with her child, because he's got a way with babies (always has). He can feel Flint watching him while he dandles the girl on his knee or takes her on an educational tour of the kitchen. He doesn't know what it means, that Flint watches him so closely when he's got the baby.

One morning, Silver wakes to the sound of Madeleine’s baby wailing piteously. They've been staying at the inn for nigh on six weeks, so Silver's gotten more than used to the sound of the baby crying. He frowns, though, at how frantic and miserable she sounds - why isn't Madeleine soothing her? Surely she can hear how upset the baby is. Perhaps she needs help.

“Madeleine,” Silver calls as he gets up from the bed in just his breeches, wandering out into the hall toward the young mother’s room and pulling his nightshirt on over his head as he goes. “I can take the baby if-- oh, dear.”

He's just pushed open the (unlocked, not even fully shut) door of Madeleine’s room and found nobody but the baby. Madeleine is long gone, with all her possessions. Meanwhile her baby sits up in the blanket-lined box where she's been sleeping, red-faced and howling at the world at large. She reaches for Silver, opening and closing her hands in an obvious request. He crosses to her and scoops her up immediately, resting her on his right hip.

“Where has your mummy gone, hm?” he asks as he carries her from the chilly, barren room. “Do you suppose she's coming back?” he asks, knowing in his gut that she won't, that she's left the baby on purpose. Unwanted. Abandoned.

It feels very familiar, to Silver.

He carries the baby to his and Flint’s bedroom, sitting down on the bed with the sniffling infant in his lap.

“Nice of you to help her mother,” Flint mumbles, obviously still half-asleep.

“Her mother left,” Silver says flatly as the baby reaches out for his hair, tangling her fat fingers in his curls.

“When will she be back?” Flint asks, cracking one eye open and peering up at Silver.

“I don't think she will be back at all. She took everything with her except this,” Silver says, gesturing to the baby in his lap.

“What?” Flint gasps, suddenly fully awake, sitting up in bed and staring dumbfounded at Silver.

“She left the baby here. I don't think she's going to come back for her, James,” Silver says quietly, looking down at the little girl in his lap. She's calmed considerably and is contenting herself with pulling Silver's hair and chewing one of his fingers.

“We have to-- do something,” Flint says, rubbing his face with both hands. “We have to take her to the authorities, or an orphanage or...something,” he says, clearly at a loss.

“I'm not giving her to strangers,” Silver says with calm certainty. He's already made up his mind; he's just waiting for Flint to understand that this is the right thing to do.

“We're strangers!” Flint protests. “You can't seriously be making a case for keeping someone else's baby,” he says, sounding aghast.

“Her mother took everything else with her. Everything!” Silver hisses, trying to keep his voice down so he won't startle the baby. “Every last hairpin, every gown and stocking and earring. All she left was the girl. She meant to leave her here, James. With me. With us.”

“We can't be parents,” Flint says quietly. “You have to understand that we--”

“We what?” Silver challenges him. “We would be worse for her than an angry, neglectful mother who didn't want her in the first place? Worse than a nonexistent father? Worse than no parents at all, growing up in a dismal orphanage or alone on the street? You can't really believe that,” he says. “I'm keeping her, James. If you don't care to live with the terrible burden of a loving partner and a darling baby girl, you're free to leave whenever the mood strikes,” he says. He gets up from the bed and stalks irritably down the hall to the kitchen with Baby (he's starting to think of her that way, as though it's her given name) on his hip, tucked up under his right arm.

They don't really speak to each other for three full days after that. Silver takes care of Baby on his own, while Flint stalks around and scowls and mutters.

But he doesn't leave.

When at last they do speak again, it's late and Silver is getting the girl ready for bed, chatting away to her as is his wont. “Come now, Baby,” he coos, wrapping her in a blanket and smiling down at her as he settles her gently into her makeshift crib in their room. Someday soon he'll have to get her a bed that's not a box.

Flint looks up from where he's sitting in bed, rereading Cervantes. “You can't just keep calling her that.”

“What, Baby?” Silver asks as he pulls his shirt off over his head and joins Flint in their bed. “It's what she is, is it not?” he asks, trying not to feel overly giddy that he and Flint are talking.

“Yeah, b-- well. I was about to say that I don't call you Pain In My Arse or Bloody Idiot or Unfathomable Nuisance, but I do,” Flint says, closing his book softly and studying Silver with obvious affection. “However, point is she won't be a baby someday, and she'll need a real name. Since neither you nor I ever thought to ask her mother what she called her, I suppose it falls to us to choose a new one.”

Silver eyes the book in Flint's lap. “Dulcinea.”

Flint snorts. “Ridiculous. No,” he says.

“Araminta?” Silver suggests, folding his arms behind his head and turning slightly to watch Baby's chest rising and falling. She's already deep asleep, bless her.

“Are we naming a child or a long-haired cat? Christ, John. She'll be a grown woman one day and she'll have to live with whatever we name her,” Flint says.

“Ophelia. Desdemona,” Silver murmurs, wanting a name for his - their - daughter that evokes a certain feeling, that carries a decent amount of weight.

“Far too tragic, both of them,” Flint says, a frown creasing his forehead.

“Scheherazade?” Silver asks, grinning, just to hear Flint groan at him in frustration.

He does. “Go to sleep. Don't suggest any more names until you've had a few hours’ sleep at least, I think you're delirious,” Flint mutters, rolling over and putting his back to Silver, who laughs.

He falls asleep soon after and wakes a few hours later to the pitter-pat of rain on the windows and Baby's fussy snuffling. He rises from the bed and gathers Baby in his arms, managing to pace the length of the bedroom with both crutch and infant, his loping stride slowly lulling his daughter back to sleep.

He sings to her softly as he paces. “Dance to your daddy, my little lassie. Dance to your daddy, my little lamb. Thou shalt have a fish and thou shalt have a fin, thou shalt have a haddock when the boat comes in,” he sings, and by the time he reaches the last line, she's asleep again. He dares to kiss her forehead, as light as he can so he won't wake her, then tucks her into the box and eases back into bed next to Flint. He can tell he's awake, without looking.

“Hope,” he whispers to him, reaching for his hand in the darkness.

Flint takes it, squeezes. “Her name?”

“Yes,” Silver says, swallowing past a sudden lump in his throat.

“Finally, a decent suggestion,” Flint murmurs. He leans in and Silver feels his lips, warm and soft, press to his cheek. “Hope, then.”

#prompt a lurker why not #prompt fills #scrapbullet #silverflint #kidfic #my fic #black sails fic

32 notes · View notes

winterscribe · 7 years

Text

OC Centric VHD Project

I was considering my project last night and how i want to format it. Also this was supposed to be me musing about D’s part of the project, but Avaleara butted in so he’s two paragraphs down.

Read More Cuz I’m incapable of not rambling.

Like I know there is a novella length (at least) story that is Avaleara pre-torture. I don’t know how structured its gonna be because a lot of it is about establishing the world she lives in, who she was, and her family, which means there isn’t a real linear plot. But I might be able to give it a decent plot if I sit down and try. This part of the project is what I’m working on the most right now since the worldbuilding is needed for all the rest of this massive beast.

After that there is a sort of snippit story about her torture and recovery. Possibly including The Incident, but that might be a seperate short story.

The incident right now is Avaleara becomes friends with Loki, so close he names her godmother of his children Nari and Vali. Until Odin turns them into wolves and has them kill each other, driving Loki mad and causing him to lash out at Avaleara since he can’t lash out at Odin without risking his surviving children. This was back when I was a huge Loki stan years ago and was inspired by the myths. I’d like to figure out how to rework it, but something like this would be unheard of in the Revant system. I’d cut it out entirely but its kind of central to why Avaleara is so messed up when she meets D. Yeah she has PTSD from the torture but that just gave her a drive to survive, out of spite if nothing else. She eventually reached an almost healthy place, until this incident, which left her crippled with guilt and self loathing. How could she be alive if those sweet boys weren’t? What good was all her training if she couldn’t save them? Any progress she made was destroyed.

After that series of short stories, or however I format them, D finally makes an appearance. It should be a novel length project to take Avaleara and D from (very) wary strangers to a solid, healthy (for them) marriage. I mean I’ve got to deal with both character’s PTSD, which is going to be really difficult with D because I doubt he would even acknowledge or want to work on his. A lot of his symptoms are what keep him alive on his hell world and he needs to go back. Honestly he really doesn’t have the Post part of the PTSD, not until after Drac is dead and that isn’t in this novel.

I also struggle with characterizing D. I read the books out of order as I got my hands on em, so I’m a little mixed up. Plus I spend so much time thinking about him after he’s had thousands of years of peace to heal, and he’s... not exactly a different person but almost. And then there is all the crack scenarios I come up with for fun muddying the waters even more. I definitely need to reread the books and take careful notes so that I know what is canon. Mostly cuz breaking the rules is better when you know what they are. I know there are some things I’m gonna throw out, or warp. I just need to get a solid feel for the character before I do. And I need to figure out a decent backstory for him. I used to have one years ago but its been so long I forgot the details and never wrote it down. At this point what I remember would significantly change future parts of the story and I don’t think I want it to, so it needs scrapped.

Mostly I think the romance novel part of this is mostly going to focus on Avaleara’s issues, mostly because she’s falling apart not so slowly. But it will definitely plant the seeds for dealing with D’s issues. Also some of his are obviously gonna need worked on before he would even do the whole relationship thing. The one thing they both got going for them is they are both really good with blunt honesty. If you actually get them to fucking talk they aren’t gonna lie about shit and demur. Also one will not hesitate to call the other out on bullshit.

At one point Avaleara strait up tells D she won’t train him anymore unless he stops viewing his death as an acceptable outcome as long as Dracula dies. She’s teaching him to live, not die. It works because she’s been on the receiving end of that ultimatum. Alternatively D calls her out for pushing away her family. While there are real reasons she pushes them away (mental illness related ones) it doesn't mean she shouldn’t try to accept the help and support they desperately want to give her. It’s nothing she hasn’t heard before, but coming from a man who is the way he is because he’s had no one it packs a much more significant punch.

Eventually they fall in love and have kids. Avaleara’s pregnancy makes D terrified because if Dracula found out there is no doubt he’d do something to the kids. Either view them as a failure (most likely) and kill them, or view them as a success and make their lives a living hell. Neither of which is an option.

Here's the thing about Revant pregnancies- because magic is such an extreme force its highly advised not to use it while pregnant because it can affect development. That’s not a problem for the average person because most aren’t that powerful. 12 months (or thereabout haven't’ set it in stone) isn’t that long to go without, even though it builds up. Its actually really beneficial, because then you use that buildup to heal your body and give yourself the energy to manage newborns. (Also might figure out some sort of transfer ritual but that is still brainstormy) The more powerful the person the more powerful the buildup.So Someone who has spent their life training and increasing their power out of a sense of paranoia is going to have a lot of buildup. Someone like… Avaleara. By the end of her pregnancy she has the buildup to go off like fucking nuke. And Does. On Dracula.

The plan was she’d take out any of Drac’s forces while D dealt with Dracula as was his right, but they got there and Avaleara realized his regenerative powers made him a lot like dealing with [Placeholder], a species renowned for regeneration and only killable through a psychic attack that traced every single cell in every location no matter where in the universe, completely destroying them on a subatomic level. Leave even one cell alive and they’ll come back from it. I haven’t exactly worked out why this psychological attack is different from the ones D can do. Like I have an idea I don’t know how to express it- Something along the lines of one is an illusion that can kill, the other is more like physically reaching into someone's mind and tearing out everything they are piece by piece and destroying them atom by atom, a simultaneous physical and psychological attack. One D can do. The other… he might be able to learn but hadn’t so Avaleara had to do it. She still feels… not guilty but not happy, that she robbed D of the chance to kill his greatest enemy, but at that point D wasn’t willing to let Dracula kill any more of his children so he didn’t care how he died just that he did.

I headcanon that D was forced to reproduce. (not sure if rape or just genetic material) All three children were failures and dracula killed them. D… doesn’t think about them for a looong time until after he has kids with Avaleara. He names them Mirana-Peace, Sorin- Sun, and Anca- grace and tattoos their names on his back with his living children. (For maximum pain those are just the ones that were born and/or lived a few years, but Dracula never revealed the ones that didn’t make it to term. that was one “mercy” he granted his son. D assumes they existed but has no idea how many were terminated)

I’m not sure whether Dracula’s death is going to be the end of the romance novel, a separate short story, or the beginning of the story dealing with the frontier. I’m also not sure how long I want that story to be. It has the potential to be a novel, since I’m talking dismantle the last vestiges of vampire rule and usher humanity into a golden age kinda thing.

But D and Avaleara’s role in that is rather small. They track down and kill or relocate the last vampires, use data from Drac’s computers to locate shit Humans couldn’t/shouldn’t deal with and destroy it, and that’s pretty much it. Mostly its’ a few particular humans expanding on existing movements now that barriers have been removed. There are a handful that work with D to understand vampiric technology (the weather controllers and transportation in particular) and save it until people are willing to use it. Maybe find away to reverse the genetic fear of vampires. But it is a largely human effort to build a human society worth living in. The handful of decent vampires agree to relocate to the stars knowing that the stigma will never allow them to live peaceful live. Most plan to try to return in a few centuries/millennia if the stigma dies down and they can do so peacefully. (I haven’t decided what to do about dhampirs and mutants. I suppose some will stay and try and carve out a life while others will take the offer to relocate.)

The main reason I want to bother with writing that story instead of just saying that it happened, is I want to explore D’s reason for leaving Earth behind permanently. I mean part of it is definitely that he has a family on Le Shevare, but its still a hell of a decision to leave behind your home planet. I want to explore him realizing there really is nothing for him here, no reason to stay, no memories that aren’t painful. He could choose to stay and rebuild, split his time between worlds, show his children their heritage, and maybe having a dhampir be a significant part of the reconstruction would help end millennia of distrust. But he ultimately decides he’s done. He’s given Earth enough. He won’t live through more distrust and hatred, evil glares and death threats. He’s going home. His greatest enemy is dead and for once in his life he has a future. Vampire Hunter D is retiring to enjoy it.

#vampire hunter d #blood and ash #avaleara #mentions of #rape #child killing #death

1 note · View note

bhc89 · 4 years

Text

Fanfic author ask meme

My first ask meme, and one that’s been on my mind for a while! Feel free to reblog for your it for yourself, answer them, or ask me for my answers! Read more break after 10/50 to help keep this from clogging any dashboards

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

I belive it was a Doctor Who fic featuring all the living Doctors at the time (4-8) I wrote in Jr High....Wait....wait....there may be a Harry Potter fic that existed before that. Either would be difficult to read today. Although, I've been tempted to retype the Doctor Who one in all it's cringe-iness for Ao3

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

Falling Victim to Your Fantasy was the last fic I touched. I feel I've gotten more organized and less reference-y compared to where I started. Idk-- I feel it's less of a mess

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

Dulces or Forbidden. I really want to say just Dulces because of all the work I put into it but Forbidden has gotten so much more attention

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

Forbidden

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

Dulces

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

The Doctor Who one....maybe the follow up Doctor Who/Star Trek the Next Generation one I never finished

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I really need to finish Forbidden and Cassoulet Puppy (Wonderfalls/Hannibal)

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

Cassoulet Puppy

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

When I first wrote Dulces, I just started the Hannibal fandom so some of the details I was a little off on

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

Yep. Doctor Who, TNG, Harry Potter

<!-- more -- >

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

I try to do things that others haven't done before-- if I see a ton of fics going this direction, I'm gonna mix it up in this direction (see Doctor Lecter's Stylist). But there's usually a reason so many fics have the same concepts because that's just what's fitting for the fandom/characters. When I do find myself going in the same direction I'm just all "yep, here we go"

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

Yeah. I don't even remember the title. It was just....blah

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I think i just got a little more detailed. Or at least more wordy

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

I don't think my tastes have change. Fandom shifted but I'm still looking for the same kind of content

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

I don't think I have

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Oh no. For other reasons yes, but not because of attention

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

I'm thinking Doctor Lecter's Stylist.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

Dulces

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Maybe Journey to the Past

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

Can't say that I would

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

Possibly

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Not yet

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

"I've been here for three days reading this story. Cheering for an obvious bax guy. When I should knpw better. To have my heart torn out. I cried. Like a baby. Well what I'm trying to say was this was well written. You enamored me with such a great story. Thank you. May you forever be blessed by the literary gods. This story was beyond stellar". I've gotten other wonderful comments too but this one sticks with me

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I think it was one about how something I wrote was something the character totally would not do. It wasn't necessarily mean, just more so conflicting opinions

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

Trusting Google translate when I didn't really have anywhere else to turn

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

Any of it

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

I guess I could live with single fandom

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

I...I can't pick...my fandoms constantly shift

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

Whatever fandom I'm focused on is what I'm reading/writing

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

Depends on my mood...course that could be how crossovers come about

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

Hannibal's house lol

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

I guess Hannibal

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

Can't think of one

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

Cassoulet Puppy--those who have commented seem to really enjoy it

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

Not that I've picked up on

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Nope

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Yes. Take that Mason

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

Yeah...to show the level of horrible the person was or to inflict horror or uncomfort

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

Can't go wrong with Ao3

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

9,211

43. Your least popular?

160

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

Yes

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

Smut

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

Not really

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Oh yes. Probably Dulces

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes and a couple

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

Yes

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Yes. It tells me I should consider writing something for publication

#about me #fan fiction #fan fic #writing #ao3

0 notes