#i haven't finished any of my holds :((( i am in a slump

[nedlittle]

[alt]

having fun isn't hard when you have a library card etc etc

[tulipsforvin]

helloooo

Can I request William having a s/o that is really bad in Math (and she hate it really much)?

Like when William tries to teach her and she'll go : zzz...

ᥫ᭡. William x F!Reader That Dislikes Maths

✧ a/n: this is NOT one of my best works 🙅🙅

✧ tags: fluff, established relationship, wholesome, tutoring, William James Moriarty, Moriarty The Patriot.

William was always eager to teach his beloved on any topics that she wasn't confident in, one of the subjects being mathematics - something he was an expert at.

They'd clear their schedules for an hour or two, reserved only for the purpose of William teaching (Name) maths. With much protest and whines from (Name)'s side about how she loathes that particular subject, of course.

“My love?” William questions after a long pause when (Name) doesn't respond to his 'yes or no' questions, asking if she'd understood him or not. “Did you understand?”

“Huh?” (Name) blinks up at him, obviously being snapped back to reality from her daydreaming sessions - one she's gotten used to doing ever since he began to tutor her. “Wait, what? What was it you said?”

William sighs in exasperation, hand reaching over the desk before he eventually flicks (Name) on the forehead. “You're not paying attention, darling. Again.”

“Ow!” (Name) exclaims, placing a palm over her forehead and rubbing over the area that William flicked. “That hurt, you know!”

“Good. Perhaps that will teach you to pay attention to me when I'm speaking.” William exhales, picking up his pen once again. “Now, back to mathematics. Which equation do you find the most confusing out of all the others?”

You scoff at his words, grumbling under your breath and repeating what he said to you in a mocking, high-pitched tone of voice.

“Very mature, (Name.)” William huffs in mild amusement, looking over your features as he speaks to you sarcastically.

“I try my best.” (Name) quips back, flashing William her signature grin. William laughs warmly, shaking his head.

“What do I do with you, hm?” He tilts his head, his gaze gentle when he looks at her.

“What would you do without me?”

“I don't know.” He shrugs, leaning forward in his seat. “However, what I do know is that you're going to finish atleast ten equations before either of us head to bed.”

(Name) groans - making William smirk at his significant other's reaction. “Fine, fine.”

A few minutes pass, the clock ticks by as (Name) attempts (and fails) to complete the task.

William's watching her carefully, chin rested against his palm as (Name)'s head begins to droop, her breathing begins to slow and her shoulders begin to slump.

“Don't fall sleep yet, darling.” William murmurs, looking over (Name)'s sleepy features. “You haven't finished your work.”

“I'm..not..” (Name)'s eyelids flitter, fighting back the sleep creeping into her bones. “Going to..sleep..”

��Yes, you won't - because you still have six more questions to attempt and three more to correct.” William tells (Name), trying to speak as firmly to her as possible. “Focus, love.”

Yet, was that even possible? How could he be stern towards his darling of all people, especially now, when she looks so endearing?

“I am..focusing..” (Name) retorts, feeling her eyelids grow heavy even further. “Stupid Liam.. stupid maths..” She trails off, finally and completely falling asleep.

“Careful now.” William whispers, placing his palm right under (Name)'s cheek when her body slumps forward in her slumber, moments before her face almost hits the desk. He carefully scooches up to (Name), gathering her into his warm embrace.

He looks down at (Name), her face squished against his chest and arm as he holds her. His lips twitch into a small, subtle smile - growing slightly wider when she murmurs gibberish and incomprehensible noises in her sleep.

Another exasperated sigh tumbles past William's lips. “Really,” he murmurs softly, barely audible. “What am I to do with you?”

Perhaps the tutoring could wait another day?

[tavyliasin]

The Highs and Lows of Fandom Creation

Hello darlings~ It has been a little while and this one has been on my list to get to for a while, and with the Baldur's Date Valentine's Fanworks event soon to draw to a close it seems appropriate to start preparing ourselves for the cycle of what happens when we release our works into the wild. So without further ado, our latest essay~

The RollerCoaster of Emotion That Comes With Being A Creative In Fan Spaces (FanArt, FanFiction, Cosplay, Photography, Music, and So Much More) ((Another CallOut Essay Prepare To Be SEEN)) (((Also I Have Some Coping Techniques Here Too!)))

As usual with my essay pieces I will be making plenty of use of the headers to divide topics, and I fully welcome any thoughts and feelings in the comments. Whilst I am really only in the FanFic side, and a focus on Baldur's Gate 3, I do intend to make this essay inclusive of the trials and tribulations that we all tend to face in making and sharing fanworks of all kinds and through all fandoms. The more people I speak to, the more it seems to be a universal experience, so hold on to your hats it's a bumpy ride! The first part will talk about the Rollercoaster itself, the how and why behind it all, and the second will be around how to cope with it. For readers and appreciators of fan content, I urge you to have a little look too, and at the end I will add in some ways you can help support your favourites too~

Creatives Are Emotional Beings

Starting off with the obvious callout - most of us are. We feel things deeply, and that emotion can often be an incredible driving force behind our works. Whether we're creating around things we've experience, being inspired and influenced by our current emotions, or drawing on our well of imagination to work out what characters might feel (and often more importantly how/why they feel that way), emotion is a strong part of the process.

This can be an incredible strength! Tapping in to the deeper parts of ourselves, our experiences, and the emotions at our cores, can bring out the very best in our works across all creative formats. It also tends to help our audiences engage too, as they recognise their own emotions mirrored in the works.

The Downside to Strong Emotion - The Rollercoaster Effect

This chart was initially drawn up based on writing, but truly after speaking with a few beloved Discord friends it was quick to see that this easily applies to art as well, so I'm going to go over this slightly differently to the initial plan.

The Start Of Every Ride

We begin usually around a neutral baseline, or maybe a little below if we haven't created in a while, perhaps we might start higher than baseline with the rush of an exciting new idea. Either way, the first part of the project tends to go up in mood very quickly when we share those early unfinished parts.

For writers this might be a beta reader or sharing a sample of the work as they're still writing as a teaser, artists might see this as their initial sketch or linework stage if they're sharing progress and teasers too. Cosplayers could be the first part of a build, musicians sharing a few bars of the melody - whatever it is, that first little positive boost that says Keep Going is a powerful one.

But what happens next? Well, you still have more work to do! That initial boost and confidence can drop down to a slump, especially if it's taking longer to complete than you thought it would, and double that if something goes wrong that needs to be changed or fixed.

You may, hopefully, find it begins to rise as things start to come together again and that finish line in sight, but then...

I Finished Making The Thing, Now What?

Well, first you're going to feel that massive surge of satisfaction from completing the thing. Sometimes a dopamine rush in the brain, and all that excitement of "Finally I get to share the thing I worked so hard on! It's done!" So, off you go, you post it. You share the links, maybe drop them in some Discord servers, other social media...and then, often very quickly, it hits you.

Post Publishing Drop

Those of you in the convention and event scene might also know this feeling as "Con Drop", which can take a little longer to manifest. Post Publishing Drop hits quite quickly. Sometimes it might take a few hours, but other times it starts almost within minutes of posting as all that rush of energy finishing and publishing is just...gone.

If you're lucky, you might get some quick and early feedback, especially if you're a well known or popular creator, but I imagine even those of you who tend to get very high engagement can feel a lot of this too so I don't mean to exclude any of you in any way at all~ So what is it? What's happening? WHY?!

Well darlings all that adrenaline is wearing off and realistically you're not likely to get that creative feedback and validation instantly. So that wonderfully powerful emotional heart of yours is going to crack a little. It won't last, it won't stay this low, but good gods that lack of engagement and positive reinforcement can be devastating.

The first engagements you get - kudos, likes, reaction emotes on a Discord post - they may be enough to boost you right back up to your baseline or even a little above, until the worry creeps back in again. And I know that it does, clawing and slithering in the back of your beautifully creative mind whispering those horrible lies:

Why isn't this getting the reaction I hoped for yet? Is this work not as good as before? Have people stopped liking me? Is the website/platform hiding my work? Have I upset people somehow in ways I can't even see?

Then Back Up We Go, And What Goes Up...

Hopefully those voices don't get a chance to be too loud for too long before you see more of that engagement. Maybe it's a heartfelt comment from someone, or a share from someone you respect, or just a little surge of interaction in general. You're back on top, darling, your creative heart is soaring, finally your work is being seen in a way that reminds you why you put in all that time in the first place!

And each time, the high wears off again, with a drop, though the extremities of each is likely less and less as time goes on. Unless, of course, we make one little mistake and the gradual confidence build comes crashing back down...

The Perils Of Comparing

Sometimes this might be looking at someone else's work, seeing a similar style or similar topic get far more engagement than your own. It can be really hard not to feel discouraged by this, and falling into that trap of questioning where you're "going wrong" can lead to absolute agony - I urge you to do your best to move away from this as soon as you notice the feeling. I'll cover some proper techniques later though, I promise!

The other trap with comparison can be looking at your own past works, and over-analysing why some pieces never got the same love and appreciation as others. Picking it apart to find what you can do better is not as wise a plan as it seems for one simple reason:

Over half of this is down to pure chance!

It might be the time of day it was posted, or just one or two people seeing it and deciding to share it on that gives a work a massive boost to interaction and engagement. Maybe a work was lucky enough to get shared in a prominent community by one of the members, or even had someone with a huge following give it a boost.

At the end of the day, there seem to be very few ways to predict this. Of course there are some characters, topics, art styles, writing tropes, etc that will have a tendency to get more love from their respective fanbases - that's how popularity works - but there is no guarantee that, for example, two portraits of the same character in similar styles by different artists will have the same levels of engagement and "success". The main person you should be aiming to please with your own work is yourself~ After all, when working on it you will be the one going over it again and again, knowing every detail in and out, if you don't love the subject of those details your less likely to even reach that finish line~

And It All Begins Again

At the end of the cycle there's often one last spike up. Maybe it's a comment or interaction from someone who truly felt the depth of meaning in your work as you hoped it would, or you realise that it has done better overall in the numbers, or most often you get that creative surge of a shiny new idea that calls to you with that familiar siren song, promising the high of satisfaction and sweeping the memory of that Post Publishing Drop under the rug all over again so you won't see it coming when you trip on it.

How Do We Get Off This Ride? Where's The Safety Bar?

Darlings, be honest, you didn't want to stop. You still don't. That's why you're still right here, reading this with me. Your cycle might take a day, a week, a month, or you may go through the whole thing in a matter of hours.

Riding The Waves

The first way to begin coping is to prepare. Know yourself and how you're likely to feel, and plan ahead for it. If you know the drop is coming, you can try to avoid it, or deploy distress tolerance when it feels too much.

On a very simple level, this can be reminding yourself that the lows do not last, and those highs will still be there. You might even be tempted to try to regulate the highs as much as the lows, to bring everything a little closer in to the baseline throughout the cycle.

Distress Tolerance techniques can be important to practice when you're feeling close to your baseline and calm so that they're easier to turn to when you're feeling that low hit. There are lots of things that work for different people, so it might be trial and error - largely you're looking at relaxation techniques, distraction from the source of the distress, and/or community support.

You Can Rely On The Community!

It is ok to ask for help! You can ask people for reassurance, directly ask for feedback, or even just talk over how you feel with other creators and find out how they're handling things. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone and that your feelings are real, valid, and matter can be a real boon - that's why I'm here, spending a couple of hours putting all of this into words as best as I can for you all. I've felt this cycle too many times, but the more I talk about it with other fic writers the more I feel we are connected and that I'm not just losing my marbles over nothing~

We are human, we have emotions - strong ones, remember? - and there's nothing wrong with that at all!

There is nothing wrong with having emotions and experiencing them!

Knowing When To Step Away

If you know you're more likely to have a swift drop from lack of quick feedback, it's a great idea to plan to step away from socials as soon as you're done. Have an activity planned, or do it all write before bed so you can switch off and go to sleep. Turn off those notifications so you aren't fussing over each one of them as they come in and don't go back for a while.

Allow a realistic amount of time to pass for people to see and engage with your work before you worry it is invisible!

The Next Shiny Idea

Conversely, if you're feeling too much of a creative itch, then as soon as you're done sharing move right on to starting the next project. Let the initial surge of energy from completing and sharing something be the driving force to kickstart the next great adventure! That way you're thinking more about the new work, the sparkling allure of a fresh idea, rather than fixating on the success of the last.

Cashing in on that adrenaline rush to make a good head-start can boost you right to that early feedback stage too, then if you're really lucky when you hit the first drop-off you'll have the positive engagement from the last work to boost you back up, so in some ways you're overlaying your graphs to balance them out with each other.

Naturally this only works if you have the time and energy to do so. It's also important to know when to take breaks to avoid burning out.

General Mood Boosting Ideas

These might not work for everyone, but here are some things to try when you're in one of those lows. A lot of this may be trial and error and knowing yourself best, so treat this as a few things that may or may not be effective rather than Lia's Super Snake Oil Cure For Everything (you have to buy that from me separately, it's super expensive but it is delightfully cherry and cinnamon flavoured~)

Check in on your basic needs. Drink, food, meds (if applicable), sleep/nap, caffeine (if you usually have it), shower/bath/hygiene needs (even if just a quick freshen up it's better than nothing), fresh air/outside time (if possible), exercise/physical movement (if you're able to), social needs (can be in person or online, any social interaction/support)

Music can be a powerful mood tool. Sometimes it's cathartic to listen to music that matches your current mood, but other times it is better to listen to music with the mood you want to feel.

Media from the fandom, like the book/film/game/etc that you're making fanworks for - return to the thing that inspired you to create and remember all the things that you loved about it in the first place.

Look at other fanworks but be very cautious! Do this for inspiration, to look at things you do and don't like in other pieces, but do not do this if it will be likely to cause a mood drop for you.

Do something different and change up your routine. Something entirely new or something you haven't done for a while.

Try something small, not connected to a large piece. A few sketches, doodles, make a meme, write a few short lines of dialogue or a brief scene. Share something with far lower stakes for a little boost.

Talk to others in the creative community and have a bit of fun, maybe try some games together, whatever you like!

I'm Not A Creative, How Can I Help?

This also counts for creatives who want to support each other, too! Of course I will put the caveat that I do understand that not everyone is comfortable visibly interacting with spice and that's fine~

Drop a like or kudos if you enjoyed the piece, it takes a second and means the world~

Leaving a comment, even a couple of silly words of "I loved it" is great!

Leaving a longer comment, picking out your favourite parts? That is the kind of boost that lasts weeks darlings it really does.

Sharing the work is also a big boost, whether publicly or privately to friend/fan groups, but especially when sharing art/images please share the link with it not just the image or a screenshot~ let people find and appreciate the artist.

Follow or Subscribe or Turn on notifications if you really want to see more of their work, then you can interact sooner and give that much needed boost~

Try to be patient, especially with longer or higher effort works. Expressing excitement is a boost, but just be careful you're not putting too much pressure on the creator. We do have things going on behind the screen that can delay our plans at times.

Consider dropping an interaction on something else, or check in on how they're doing in general - a little kindness outside of just the works being produced can be a boost too!

The Grand Finale of the Rollercoaster

Thank you for staying with me to the end darlings, I know this was likely a bit of an emotional ride, but please do drop in some comments or reblogs with the other things you experience and how you handle the emotional whirlwind of being a fan creator. Always remember, you are valued for more than just what you can produce, your works are adored but the person behind them is worth so much more and always will be. Look after yourselves, I love you dearly~

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hiiiiiiiiiiii. How are you? What are you up to? Been in a reading slump again. The year is not going well i blame Jimin. Alot been happening

1)why can’t i get into succession? I dont understand i have watched ep 1 3 times and i can’t get into it 🤦🏾‍♀️

2) is hybe ok? I am confused and also yes to drama entertain me i guess

3)i only have been here for some of shinee military service and Taemin(obviously), are military man allowed to do what i have been seeing posting on social media, doing promo?

4) your faves are taking this military life under the radar 18 months too seriously, show me your face 😡

5) also i was looking at Jimin video from when Jk went to cook for him(idc what they are but if i had someone like Jungkook i would be married) i understand why jungkook is obsessed with Jimin. I too would go cook after a concert tired for him, i too would be a pick me for him, i too want to be rejected time after time on live when i offer to go to his house. Not even too fuck him ill be content just to sit there and look at him bonus if he could throw me some cuddles. Can you tell im jealous? Im not 😈

Hiiiiiii @5813!!!! It's always lovely to hear from you 🩷

Thanks for sectioning your ask, it makes this so much easier.

1) Don't force yourself, perhaps it's simply not the right time. Or it will never be. There's plenty others to choose from.

I was in a similar situation many years ago when I tried to watch The Sopranos and I couldn't get past the first episode. I found it boring and not as entertaining as Goodfellas or The Godfather. Fast forward, I just finished the series last night and I can finally say that I too have watched one of the greatest series of American television. I can finally understand the jokes and the references. And now, perhaps at my current age and just my mood in general, I could sit down and get immersed into it.

2) All is not ok in Hybe land and I personally have no concern for it. Let them all fight. It's never sunshines and rainbows in the corporate world.

3) Hmm, I have to say that I have had some similar questions about this too. Let's say I can accept that projects finalized before enlistment can be released during military service (I'm not willing to go into another debate on this specifically, I've had enough of it, case closed). But posting on social media about said projects? I find it odd and I'm not sure what the rules are. I haven't heard of any negative consequences for them, so what do I know? I was left with the impression that it's not right, but perhaps they are walking a fine line, open to interpretation. In his latest Weverse post, Jungkook mentioned that since he can't promote himself, he opened an account for Bam. So, what is it then? Is it allowed or not?

4) I knew kukumimi would do this, it's on brand and as much as I want to see them, I think it's better that they are keeping it under the radar. I heard they also just finished this intense training they had and they might get some vacation days. Perhaps they will show their faces. It's never the easy way with them, right?

5) I really enjoyed that glimpse into their evening, even if it was in front of the camera. It still felt nice and very lowkey, particularly after a concert. You wouldn't think they were jumping on a stage for two hours before that.

I think we're all jealous of Jungkook and so be it. He said so himself, we will keep being jealous, he'll still hold Jiminie (and cook for him).

[searedtroutpeacharugula]

To quote the most wise and noble scholars of our age, "well, THAT just happened!"

I don't think any of us could have possibly expected this, but Homestuck^2, the (much-maligned) Homestuck sequel, is back.

And to top that off, it's looking good.

James Roach, who composed many of the tracks for Homestuck's more recent projects and was generally one of the few well-known people still openly associated with the IP in any official capacity, has formed the Homestuck Independent Creative Union, or HICU, with Andrew Hussie's blessing. Dedicated to finally completing the long-abandoned HS^2 project (now rebranded as simply Homestuck: Beyond Canon) as well as working on even more Homestuck projects in the future(!!!), HICU would appear to be the greatest hope that Homestuck has for the future.

Now, I'm going to preface this by saying two things. First: I have only been involved in the Homestuck fandom since the beginning of this year, and I only finished the original comic last month. I am by no means a long-time fandom member, nor do I have the same experiences with the fandom that many other people have had. Second: I have not read/played the Homestuck Epilogues, Homestuck^2, or any meaningful amount of Hiveswap Friendsim or Pesterquest. While I am familiar with a couple concepts from post-canon Homestuck, I am unfamiliar with any of the works in their entirety.

That being said, I still want to discuss my opinion on the sudden return of post-canon, and what I think the future of Homestuck may be. My time as a Homestuck may have so far been relatively brief, but the comic has made an incredible impact on my life. HS holds a special place in my heart, and even if I'm not the most well-educated fan I still want to put my opinion out there.

I am, to put it in simple terms, cautiously optimistic about the return of Homestuck^2. To my knowledge, HS^2 has so far been a complete and total trainwreck. Now, I'm not personally in a place to judge the work: after all, I haven't read the damn thing. But if what I've heard is true, then HS^2 seems almost irredeemably bad. There's a chance, however, that the HICU will be able to turn this around. By taking the writing in a new direction, proving to the fandom that they know what they're doing, and trying their best to fix this, they might just be able to make this work.

James Roach and the rest of the HICU seem genuinely very passionate about Homestuck. It's clear that they love this universe and only want the best for it; and I think that's the most important thing.

If there's one thing that has defined the Homestuck fandom for the past few years, it's been cynicism. You'd be hard-pressed to find a single fan who thought Homestuck had any sort of future ahead of it outside of Hiveswap; post-canon was practically dead, Andrew Hussie had long since moved on to greener, clown-filled pastures, and a large, faceless corporation with seemingly no interest in the IP had become the publisher. Suffice to say, it wasn't a good time to be a Homestuck fan.

But now, with the formation of the HICU, there's something the Homestuck fandom hasn't seen in a long, long time: hope. There is a chance, however slim, that Homestuck will be getting new, well-written, well-characterized content. Homestuck has a future, it has a chance at redemption!

I just hope that James Roach and the rest of the HICU don't fuck this up. Maybe, just maybe, if we're fucking lucky, Homestuck can leave this years-long slump.

Alright, I'm done rambling. I've got a lot of stuff to read: after all, I don't want to miss the return of Homestuck, no matter how it turns out!

[sibillascribbles08]

95 :)

Bless, feel free to send me more

"So, using the charge from these particular stones, this ray gun should shrink me down allowing me to actually climb into the drone and--"

"Stop." Jason fixed his boyfriend with the coldest stare he could manage. The pair of them sat inside Donatello's hidden city lab, the turtle inviting him over to show off what he'd been working on before they went to watch a movie. Or something. That part was open ended.

Donatello did stop, looking at Jason with his goggles still fitted over his eyes and raygun hovering in the air.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "Was I talking to fast? Where did I lose you?"

Jason took a deep breath. "You're going to shrink yourself, with a magic ray gun, that you haven't formally tested."

"Yes, that is what I said. And from there--"

"Stop." Jason interrupted again. "Do you know how long the effects last? A way to reverse it?"

Donatello kept holding the gun in the air, frozen, but bit by bit his confident smile grew more nervous. "Well... part of the reason I invited you over was to help me if the effects don't just wear off--"

"Ugh, I should have guessed." Jason threw up his hands before slumping in his chair. "How silly of me thinking this would be a relaxing date night."

Donnie frowned at him, finally lowering the gun. "Come on, Jase. You know I can't ask my brothers to help."

"Why? Because they'd tell you what a stupid idea this is?" He crossed his arms as he stood. "I know you're smarter than this, Donnie."

"It's not dangerous." Donnie rolled his eyes. "Like, fine, okay, maybe I'll be stuck being tiny for a bit but it'd still just be temporary. Finishing up this design is way more important."

"But how do you know you'll just be stuck?" Jason gestured to the gun. "You haven't tested it."

"I know how the magic works. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Oh, I don't know." Jason ran his hand down his face, trying to keep his voice level. "All your internal organs freak out at the size change? Your battle shell just straight up crushes you? It does wear off when you're inside the machine which, at best, destroys your work or, at worst, turns you into a cube?" He made the shape with his hands before letting them fall back to his sides. "Ugh, I hate how you're so smart and so stupid at the same time."

Donnie scoffed, looking down at him at he smiled. "You know, you're cute when you're all worried."

Jason narrowed his eyes. "Maybe so, but I'll be a lot less so when I go from worried to pissed off because my dumb dumb boyfriend caused some irreparable damage by not testing his tech before using it on himself." He pointed when he shouted.

"I am certain this is harmless." Donnie's smile showed as much confidence as his voice did. "But, fine. How about we got test it on Leo."

"I doubt another living subject is any better to risk messing with."

"Are you saying you don't want to test it on Leo?"

Jason bit his cheek as he met Donnie's gaze. His boyfriend now had the smug smile and raised eyebrow look going, making it hard to resist.

"We shouldn't." He sighed. "But... it might be fun to chase him around with it."

Donnie's smile turned sinister as he stepped closer. "Truly diabolical. And sometimes you wonder why I fell for you."

Jason pretended his cheeks weren't burning. "Flattering me won't make me forgive you that easily."

Donnie shrugged. "Worth a shot." Then he gave Jason a quick kiss on the forehead before stepping around him. "Come on, let's go see what Leo is up to and ruin his night. Then we can go test it on... I don't know, a watermelon or something."

"Hm," Jason put a finger to his chin. "I wonder what eating a tiny watermelon would be like."

"Like a fruit gusher?"

"No, no." Jason began to follow his boyfriend toward where the portal opened. "It'd be cruncher than that, right?"

"But at that size..."

"Doesn't matter, it's not really squishy."

"Maybe it'd be like eating a detergent pod."

"Please tell me you haven't done that."

Donnie gave a nervous laugh. "Hah. Noooo..."

"Donnie."

"I spat it out."

Jason groaned again. "Oh my god."

A miracle this ingenious turtle wasn't dead.

[random-dreamer]

A thrones ashes (Scaramouche x Reader)

(This is my first time writing on Tumblr, I am a retired Wattpad writer who, to be completely honest didn't get many views on my fanfiction, I also struggled to finish the fanfics so...I guess I'll just stick to short stories, hope you enjoy <3) . . . ☆

You stepped out of the carriage, and gazed upon the art that was the Fatui Harbingers palace. despite the numerus times you've visited the kingdom the palace never ceased to amaze you, you would often would aways pause to gaze at the dark but ethereal atmosphere, the people of the village were also very clearly cared for, even peasant's clothing appeared regal, they had money and power, and everyone knew it.

you walked up the staircase, the guards gave you the same stern look, but opened the grand doors for you regardless, you once again basked in the glory, that was the interior of the palace.

you quickly made your way through halls and doors to visit your closest friend, Scaramouche the 6th Fatui Harbinger, also the prince and next in line to the throne, as soon as he had a suitor, that was, in any case he was stubborn and he knew it he turned down any, and all offers of suitors. He seemed cold, but you knew better, it was a exterior a face, built from trauma. He only ever showed kindness to you, if you could call it that, he teased you, was rude to you, disrespected you, any way a princess should've been treated, he did the opposite.

But behind closed doors, he was different, you two would often have slow moonlit walks in the gardens, or you two drew or read books in his study, all while having deep conversations of life's meaning, or the dreams you two had, or even secrets. Despite the display he put on around others, you knew what he really was like and so, you stayed by his side, you had every intention of healing his trauma, and you even developed feelings for him, but had multiple reasons to keep it secret.

you finally reached his study, oh how you longed to see him, it had been 3 months since your last visit, your parents had started to restrict your amount of visits, for reasons you didn't know of, your parents wouldn't tell you. you knocked and waited for that monotone voice to call out.

"Enter"

there it was, despite the lack of emotion in his voice, it sounded warm and inviting to your ears. you opened the door "Scara!" you said the tone in your voice was one of excitement. He turned around in his chair "Y/n its been quite a while hasn't it, it seems your forehead haven't gotten any bigger, impressive" he said he had a smirk on his face and you rolled your eyes. "Ah yes seems your insults need work."

his smirk widened and you moved to recline on the comfy sofa by the fireplace. He stood up and was about to make a snarky remark, when a knock on the door interrupted him.

"Enter" he called again, and you sat up trying to look more reformed

"Here you go sir, the final documents" Scaramouches smirk faded as he held the papers, he dropped them down on the desk and looked back up at the man who delivered the papers. "You are dismissed" his tone was dark and angry, it made the room feel heavy.

The man turned and quickly left, you got off the sofa and went over to Scaramouches side. "What's the matter?" you asked and put your hand on his shoulder. He sighed loudly and sat back down, slumping into his chair he singled for you to sit in a chair opposite on the opposite side of his desk.

He drew a deep breath "We both knew this was coming sooner or later, my constant denial of suitors, was not going to save me from the inevitable" you tensed "No, he couldn't mean..." "my mother arranged a marriage for me" he paused "We will be holding a ball, where my mother will announce the engagement" he paused "We will no longer be allowed to visit each other, it will simply be taboo" even though his face masked pain well, his eyes were showing a different story.

Your heart shattered "Since when do you conform to rules Scara?" you said tears brimming your eyes, voice cracking, you were desperate, you couldn't lose him...you loved him.

"I shall see you at the ball in 2 months time...but that will be our last time seeing each other, aside from the wedding and few seasonal balls. you looked down and nodded "I understand..." you paused trying so hard not to break down. "Congratulations, I am happy for you Scara, she will make you very happy" you looked up and smiled. "I need to head back my parents have a meeting I have to attend, I shall see you at the ball, goodbye Scaramouche."

you quickly left and rushed to your carriage, meanwhile Scaramouche, stood in his study pacing back and forth. he felt deeply for you, you deserved to be treated like a queen, a goddess, you were his everything, and seeing you on the verge of tears always broke him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck" he walked over to his desk and put both his hands on it before swiping all his papers off the desk with tremendous force.

"Dammit!" He shouted before he slumped back in his chair, and buried his face into his hands.

2 months passed and you still cried yourself asleep every night at the thought of your inevitable fate...continuing your life, without Scaramouche? Never. you were torn from your thoughts, at a knock at your door. "Come in" a maid walked in "Miss Y/n you have a Invite to a ball hosted by the Harbingers, it also came with a gift. She set down a black box tied with a purple bow and she handed you the envelope.

"Thank you, you may take your leave"

Your procrastinated opening the envelope, maybe you thought it would delay the inevitable or maybe it wouldn't come true? Regardless, you finally found the strength to open the envelope.

"Dear Y/n L/n you are formally invited to a ball for a special announcement, please refrain from wearing red for the color is preserved for our special guest."

Everyone knew what the color red represented, engagement. Tears brimmed your eyes again, for the millionth time. then you had a moment of clarity "If I am to be forbidden from seeing him again...I want to see him one last time"

you walked over to the beautiful box sitting on your bed, you found it odd, these were the kingdoms colors, and it came with the invite, so no questions about it, it was in fact from the Harbingers kingdom. but the invite had no mention of a dress code other than to refrain from wearing red, so why would they send you a dress? You undid the purple bow and opened the box.

you picked up the note laid on top of some folded stuffing paper, you recognized the writing.

"Lets cause chaos, one last time, darling"

Ps: Just in case you don't understand, wear this dress to the ball tonight idiot.

I folded back the black paper and pulled out the most magnificent maroon colored dress "Scara...you idiot" you smiled softly "my stupid little bringer of chaos" then you realized something the note said "Darling" you were confused. but you disregarded the thought, it brought you too much pain, so you turned your attention to the dress.

The maroon was mesmerizing, it was an off the shoulder dress, with "sleeves' they were long pieces of cloth that had would cover your arms slightly, but they didn't really count as sleeves, it came with a black corset, made to be worn on the top of the dress, the dress reached the floor and had a slip in the side, and the entire dress was embordered with black roses.

(31) Pinterest like these sleeves I'm bad at explaining it sorry)

you put the dress on and were mesmerized with your reflection, you looked like a goddess, and the dress fit perfectly, it seemed to be tailored to your body. You tried not the think about the fact that Scaramouche would've had to get your measurements, and he had to have designed the dress.

you distracted your thoughts by thinking about the ruckus you would cause, coming in wearing any shade of red, it was against dress code, not to mention it was rude and inconsiderate, you knew they couldn't remove you from the ball, it would be a offence to your kingdom.

you put your crown on, and the matching heels that came with the dress, and you proudly walked out of your room to head to the ball.

When you arrived, you stepped out of your carriage and into the open doors, as you walked in you heard gasps and whispers, the crowd was clearly shocked.

you descended the stairs, Scaramouche waited at the bottom of the staircase, his outfit matched yours "So that's what he was planning" you thought to yourself. His gaze made you even more confident, it was something about the way he looked at you.

You reached the bottom step, and Scaramouche offered his hand to you.

"You look gorgeous, we should've matched more."

as the night progressed, he had to dance mostly with his fiancé, he looked miserable, and she often glanced angerly at you, compared to you her red dress looked plain and ordinary.

the last dance of the night Scaramouche walked up to you extending his hand "May I have this dance?" you gladly took his hand, his fiancé looked pissed, that encouraged you more, fueled by jealousy, you two danced gracefully in sync, by that point everyone moved off the dance floor to make room for you two.

It was like a dream, just you and Scaras loving gaze, you didn't want it to end, but nothing last forever, the music faded away, signaling the end of the dance. Before you went to sit down for the big announcement, Scaramouche pulled you to him "Do you trust me?" he whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine "Yes" you replied breathlessly.

"Good, wait for me" you didn't understand what he meant by that, but you trusted him regardless. You sat down at your designated spot at the table as the queen stood from her throne.

"Thank you all for coming...I am very happy to announce my son's engagement" Scaramouche stood up and he spoke. "I am here to propose formally to my one true love."

"Y/n L/n"

His mother looked horrified, gaps were heard, his fiancé yelled "WHAT!?"

you stood up not knowing if it was a hoax or he was being truthful, walking up the stairs to the throne, Scaramouche grabbed your hand got on one knee and grabbed a black box. "I've loved you, ever since that day in the garden...I cried and you held me close, you told me to let it all out...I want to spend my whole life with you, I want to create more of those moments...I want to claim you as my wife, Queen of the darkest kingdom, I can't see myself on the throne unless you are right beside me"

He opened the box; it was a beautiful ring, it was black with a F/c stone on top. You felt tears brimming your eyes. "Y-yes" you stuttered out a response, trying to ignore the burn in the back of your throat, caused by your held back tears. He slid the ring onto your finger and stood up, he grabbed your waist and kissed you.

You had not a single care about what anyone thought, how your parents felt, how Scaramouches parents felt, it was just you and him against the world, always.

.

.

.

☆

I hope you enjoyed I completed this at 10:05 at night so I apologize if the end seems a little bit rushed. Please send me story request <3

[transpoettryinghisbest]

(this is based on the headcannon I've seen around about Desiree and Matt being siblings. It's set between 2-4 and 3-2. Trigger warnings are in the tags.)

“You've got a letter,” I say, handing it to her.

“Who still writes letters?”

“I don't know, I didn't read it. I wouldn't read your things.”

“No, I know. It's okay.”

She opens it. I catch a glimpse of the handwriting filling most of a single sheet of paper, but I can't see what it says. Her eyes quickly flick to the bottom of the page and her expression shifts.

“What's wrong?” I ask.

She puts the paper down. “It's from Matt.”

“Your brother?”

“What does he want? And why now? I haven't spoken to him in years.”

“You won't know unless you read it.”

She hesitates. “I don't know if I want to. It might be bad news.”

“It might not be.”

She says nothing.

“Do you want me to read it?”

“I want to throw it away, in all honesty.”

She doesn't. She reads the whole thing. I try to watch her expression, but it pretty much stays the same the whole time. When she's finished, she lays it down again with a sigh.

“He's in jail.”

“Really?”

“That's what he says. He won't say why, only that he messed up. And he wants me to visit him.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don't know.”

I reach out and take her hand. She holds on tight.

“I don't know what he's done. I don't think I want to know. I know my brother isn't evil, but…he never thinks of anyone but himself. I should've known he'd end up in trouble.”

“Are you going to see him?”

“No.”

“Really? I mean, it's your choice, but I think you should at least… No, maybe it's not a good idea… I don't know…”

“Look at this.” She spins the paper around and pushes it towards me. “Does he mention either of us anywhere in this? Does he ask how we're doing?”

I scan it. The whole thing is kind of vague, it just outlines the fact that a whole court ganged up on him and put him away and now everyone he knows is mad at him.

“No, he doesn't.”

“He never cared about me. When I left home, he never made any attempt to stay in contact. So I don't need him.”

She crumples the paper and puts it in the trash.

*

I don't know why I'm here. I guess I thought that Desiree would change her mind, but she doesn't. She moves on like nothing has happened. It's been three days since the letter arrived, and I can't take my curiosity anymore.

I'm shaking. I've met Matt before, only once, but I don't know if I should expect anything different now. He was just a typical bratty younger brother. That was how Desiree described him, and I saw what she meant. He didn't really ask me about myself or seem interested at all.

I reach his cell and he's slumped in the corner.

“Um…hi?”

He doesn't hear me.

“Hello? Matt?”

He finally looks up and frowns in confusion.

“Like, what do you want?”

“Um…I got your letter. I mean…Dessie got your letter. She didn't want to come. But I'm here.”

Recognition clicks in his mind and he laughs.

“Oh, it's you. Desiree's boyfriend.”

“Husband. Yes.”

“So she didn't feel like dropping by on her poor brother?”

“No.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Curiosity I think? I mean, I know we haven't seen each other in a long time, so I just thought…”

“You don’t feel sorry for me?”

“Uh, kind of? I don’t really know what happened, your letter didn't say what you did.”

“Oh I get it. She sent you out to get the scope on me.”

“Scope?”

“To see if I’m really worth her time.”

“No-”

“Or maybe she needs a big strong man to protect her from me. Is that what you are?”

“I don’t…know.”

“What’s wrong?” he gets really close to the glass and I catch a glimpse of scars hidden under his fringe. “Scared I’ll bite?”

I don’t say anything, and he backs away again, laughing at me.

“You’re exactly Desiree’s type. A pushover.”

“Am I? I-I mean, no. She doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Oh. Well don’t blame me if this breaks you up. I can’t control where you go. I can’t even control where I go.”

“What did you do, Matt? Why…are you here?”

“Do you really want to know?”

Anxiety spikes within me and I change my mind quickly.

“No.”

“No. You don’t want to know about my life. All you want to know is what I want with you and your precious wife. But it’s got nothing to do with you, dude. This is family stuff. And if she doesn’t want to come, then I guess I’m just gonna have to die here alone.”

The door busts open. It’s Desiree.

“I knew you’d be here.”

“I’m sorry,” I jump out of my seat. “I’m sorry, Dessie. I should’ve told you, but I was worried you’d talk me out of it. I hope I didn't make you stress out or anything. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, hun. I was just worried about what he was saying to you.”

“Finally she shows up,” Matt says.

“I didn't come here for you,” she snaps back. “Are you okay, Ronnie?”

I nod. “I think so.”

“I should’ve warned you. Matt has…a way of getting into people’s heads. Just don’t listen to him.”

“Oh sure, just ignore me like you have for the last few years.”

“You were the one ignoring me,” she says. “I just realised that it wasn't worth fighting for your time anymore. So I focussed on the people who really care about me.”

He scoffs.

“He won't tell me anything,” I say. “He said it's family stuff.”

“That's not my problem. Whatever you've done, Matt, you can take it up with someone else. I don't care anymore.”

“Seriously? You're seriously gonna leave me here? You don't even want to know-”

“No. I don't.” She takes my hand. “We're leaving, honey.”

“Okay.”

“Fine,” Matt spits. “Leave me here on my own to rot.”

Desiree ignores him.

“And I hope you're happy being a fake woman with your fake husband.”

I'm not sure what happens next. I think something snaps in me. Because the next thing I know is my knuckles are hurting. Matt yelps and backs away from me.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I…I'm sorry.” Tears start running down my face and I don't know why. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry.”

Desiree takes my hand gently into hers and inspects my knuckles. “Are you okay? You didn't break anything did you?”

“I don't think so. Dessie, I…”

“It's okay, sweetie, it's alright.” She kisses my forehead. “I'm not mad. And I won't let you get in any trouble, okay?”

I nod, wiping my eyes with my free hand.

Desiree holds my non-injured hand as we walk home mostly in silence. I try not to think that she's mad at me. She must be going through a lot. But who I was back there really scared me, I've never had something come over me so strongly like that. I can still feel my knuckles throbbing.

Eventually, I break the silence.

“Does he really think you're a fake woman?”

“He was just trying to hurt me. Matt never cared either way when I came out.”

“Really?”

“He only cares about himself. Me becoming a woman doesn't affect him, especially since we barely talk.” She looks at me. “I'm sorry if he hurt your feelings, hun.”

“It's okay, I'm kind of used to it. But I don't like when people insult you. It makes me mad.”

“I know. You're a real sweetheart.” She stops walking to kiss my cheek. “But I can handle myself, don't worry. And I don't want you hurting yourself.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. I know you mean well.”

“He called me a pushover. I told him that I wasn't there on your behalf but I don't think he believed me.”

“Don't listen to him, hun.”

“He made out like I only ever do what you say.” I hesitate. “Can…you say something I disagree with? Just so I can prove that I don't go along with everything you say?”

“Babe, you don't have to prove anything to me.”

“I know. I wanna prove it to myself.”

She thinks for a second.

“Maybe our marriage won't work out.”

“What?”

“Because you think I'm ugly.”

“No! No, you're the most beautiful woman in the world and I love you.”

Her face breaks into a grin and I realise that she was messing with me.

“I love you too,” she says. “Can we get Chinese food tonight?”

“Okay.”

[kmbezner]

Aaaaaand it's time for my top ten favorite reads of the year! In no particular order:

Notes from the Burning Age by Claire North

I'll start with the first book I read this year, cause WOW what a book to start with. I started reading this as an egalley at the end of 2021, but didn’t finish it before it expired 😭 It’s a truly amazing cocktail of one part dystopian climate fiction, one part political thriller, one part fantastical mythology, garnished with a bit of philosophy. North seamlessly weaves these elements in a way that makes you want to write like that.

Full Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

The Carrying by Ada Limón

The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

I read both of these books during a kind of nonfiction blitz challenge that started when my supervisor in the reference department asked for staff picks for a display and I realized I hadn't read any nonfiction in an embarrassingly long time. Both of these ended up on the staff pick display, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about them since.

The Carrying is a beautiful collection of poetry I had read single poems from before, but the entire collection comes together to paint a picture of loss and love traced across generations.

Short Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

I listened to The Undocumented Americans, which I highly recommend as Villavicencio reads it herself and does a wonderful job. It's in part a collection of interviews that turns to reflect Villacencio's own life and the connections she makes with those she meets.

Bookshop | Local Library | Indiebound | Libro

On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

The Honeys by Ryan La Sala

These were both book club reads, one for my local library's graphic novel book club and the other for QUEST RI. The funny thing is that I ended up not being able to attend the actual meeting for either of them, but damn they were good.

I've been a fan of Tillie Walden for a while now, and am kicking myself for not reading this one sooner. They are SO skilled at that kind of faded nostalgia, that bittersweet, melancholic sadness through gorgeous artwork and sparse, emotional storytelling. Also, gays in space.

Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound

The Honeys is a perfectly tense and taut YA thriller that is so hard to put down. It's got a dark academia vibe despite being set at a summer camp, with plenty of surreal summer feels and guillotine-the-rich vibes.

Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell

This book has been on my TBR for a while now, and when the college library I work at started looking for recommendations for next year’s college-wide read on the theme of social media, I figured it was finally time to jump on it. It was much more than I expected, mainly because I was expecting a kind of self-help book plus. But this book isn’t just about putting down your phone every once in a while, it’s an exploration of a cultural shift that’s centuries in the making. Odell discusses art, music, philosophy, psychology, politics, and of course big tech as she traces how our attention has become a commodity to be monetized.

Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik

The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo

These books are doing the job of carrying their whole series onto this list. No, it's not cheating, it's my list and my rules :)

I actually read His Majesty's Dragon years ago, and despite tearing through it didn't get around to reading the other books. During a months-long reading slump earlier this year I decided to dredge myself out of it by rereading a book I knew I liked, and letting the series carry me from there. And boy howdy it worked! I was hoping to finish the series this year, but due to life things and library holds that won't come in for a couple more weeks that plan has been thwarted :/

Short Review | Local Library | Indiebound | Libro

I was looking for a quick read when I started the Singing Hills Cycle, and was just astonished at how much lore Vo packs into these novellas. There is so much information about this world in such short and deeply satisfying books, each one a snapshot into a different aspect of the world, shared in ways that both celebrate and challenge the nature of storytelling, history, and memory.

Full Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

Frizzy by Claribel A. Ortega & Rose Bousamra

Received as an ARC from BookishFirst, this was not only one of my favorite books of the year, but is showing up on best of lists all over the place. And rightfully so—this middle grade graphic novel is about so much more than hair, as important as that is. I can’t stress enough that everyone should read this book.

Full Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound

Mage and the Endless Unknown by SJ Miller

No cover for this one, because it hasn’t been revealed yet! I read this comic as an egalley on Edelweiss and was instantly grabbed by the eerie artwork and because Iron Circus Comics consistently publishes some of my favorite books. Mage is a collected webcomic, and, without spoiling too much, is basically Over the Garden Wall by Junji Ito (so…CW for graphic imagery. yeah, I know the art starts off kinda cutesy, just trust me). Keep an eye out for this one next year, or if you can’t wait you can read the original webcomic online!

Read Online | Bookshop | Indiebound

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

HIII

For your slump yk u can watch some movies there were 2 they are recently released one is my happy marriage (happy ending 🎊) and love reset (haven't watched it yet but the reels made me want to watch 😍)

nd yes I'm sadly on ep4 of my demon nd this week 2 new episodes will be released 🤩🤩(procastinating so bad that I forget what happened in the last episode 😞) I swear these classes are making me have short term memory loss 🙁fr

+did u watch lovestruck in the city ?? (I think it's a romcom ) nd run on u can try watching (i haven't completed it 😞 started during exams but forgot to complete I'll tell u when I complete it 😁 if u want u can watch that )

+ or u can read operation true love it's an ongoing manga 😍 let me show the male leads 😁(the one in my pfp is dohwa my love 💕)

yes I'm trying to take care of myself 😞it's hard being a college student 😭

anw who's ur bias in enha ??? (I never asked u all this while when I was talking to u )

HIIII!!!!!

Ah so Im not so much a movie watcher tbh. I did watch an anime, that does have a movie version too but the anime was My Happy Marriage, there's gonna be season 2 so I have that to look forward too. I wanted to watch another anime, Komi Cant Communicate, so I might just be binging a few animes😂... As with dramas I am very picky about what I watch.

Procrastination is the bread and butter of student life. Any student that says they don't procrastinate are liars I tell you😅... Not your classes causing you to have memory issues🤣🤣....

I was going to watch Lovestruck in the City, it was on my list but I dunno why I never actually watched it😂 I think I read somewhere that it didn't have a happy ending or something, there was a reason I didn't end up watching it. Run On, I did start it but I never finished it... My pickiness with dramas holds true.🤷‍♀️

Im not a manga reader, I stick to fanfiction. I did try to read Yumi's Cells webtoon but I gave up when I saw how long it was and just googled what happens. I haven't watched season 2 yet cause I am waiting on news for season 3... Very much delulu waiting for season 3 of Yumi's Cells (I love Kim Goeun, her + a romantic story and I am there in a heartbeat)

Girlie, I know the struggle. College is bloody annoying but self care always should come first okay. So you better be taking care of yourself!! Staying hydrating and not over working your self!!.🫶🏽🫰🏽💜

Lol, my bias is Heeseung. He's been my bias since I watched i-land and I first saw this boy walking into that egg. Bias wreckers are Jay, Sunghoon and Jungwon obviously. Who is your bias and bias wreckers???

BTS: my bias is Jungkook and Jin with Namjoon and Yoongi being my bias wreckers. Blackpink: Jisoo all the way, I love her so much. Seventeen: I still count myself as baby carat but I love Hoshi so much. Le Sserafim: Yunjin and Kazuha, but I do love Eunchae too shes adorable. TXT: Soobin, I love my giant baby. Itzy: Yeji or Chaeryeong.

You definitely didnt ask to know my biases for other groups I stan but enjoy that regardless. And if you follow any let me know your biases/bias wreckers as well.

[prettywon]

# pairing : Sunoo x Reader

# synopsis : Once hit with the devastating news that you need to join a club to guarantee your spot in your top college, you ever-so conveniently come across a flyer requesting for more people to join the gardening club. You were planning to get by the year doing little-to-nothing in the club but your entire year is thrown off course by the one and only, Kim Sunoo.

# word count : 4,128k words (I WAS EXPECTING 2K)

# genre : FLUFF ANGST AND THEN SOME FLUFF !!

# warnings : kissing ? Sunoo being Sunoo? Jay makes bad puns ? swearing ! not proof read ! Obsession over grades ?

# a/n : been a while since I've written a oneshot ngl, hope it works out LMFAO, loosely inspired by K-On!, ALSO THIS IS THE LONGEST STANDALONE WORK I'VE EVER WRITTEN ??

# taglist : @liliansun @ddeonuism

You felt your world crumble when in reality, you were only engaged in a conversation with Jay. "Hello? Earth to Y/N?" Jay waved his hand in front of your face as he chewed on a piece of chocolate. "Yeah, uh.. so my top college won't let me in if I haven't done anything outside the major I want?" You wanted clarification, you couldn't believe your ears.

"Yeah, it's this whole weird thing, since you need out-of-major credits to graduate, if you don't show any interest in other topics in high school what are the chances you're going to in college" Jay finished his chocolate with a shrug

"I don't get why they would reject me because of it though, I have high grades and have taken a bunch of classes related to the major I want, I don't see why I shouldn't be accepted" None of it made sense, you were a perfect student for the major you wanted and you could be rejected just because you didn't do some stupid clubs?

"Don't complain to me but don't say I didn't warn you if you get rejected" Jay was now eating a bag of chips, how his stomach could handle that was beyond your imagination. "Well of course I'm going to join a club now" You slumped in your chair, what club would you even want to join?

"I'd look at the bulletin boards, you're lucky it's still the beginning of the year so clubs are still accepting members" Jay pointed to one of the many bulletin boards scattered around the campus "Don't worry about it too much, you only need to do one club for a semester" Jay attempted to calm down the worry that was evident on your face.

"I'll check it out later" You walked out of the cafeteria, saying farewell to Jay, and made your way to math class. 'This is stupid, I've never even joined a club before' you walked at a fast pace throughout the currently empty halls.

At least they were almost empty as you bumped into someone, unfortunately that person happened to be holding flyers. As the two of you stumbled to the ground, the flyers made a more graceful descent to the ground as they scattered around the two of you. 'Shit.' could your day be any worse?

"I am so, so sorry" the boy was in a frenzy, picking up as many papers as he could. "It's alright.. really" you were lying, but tried to be polite enough to pick up some flyers. "Oh thank you!" the boy had a glint of hope in his eyes, as if the information on the paper was going to spark your interest.

You stared at the paper. One day sooner and you wouldn't have given the sheet a second glance, but now that you know that you need to join a club, it seemed impossible to miss the big lettering that said "Join the Gardening Club today!" at the top. Sure gardening wasn't your first choice for a club, but a club is a club, right?

"Hey, are you the president of this club?" You stood up, making eye contact with the boy, who was surprisingly tall now that you looked at him properly. Blonde hair, pretty eyes, nice nose, he must be popular with the student body; specifically the females. The boy smiled from pride and puffed out his chest slightly, "The one and only, Kim Sunoo," his smile was sweet, almost poisonously so "Are you interested in joining?" the two of you had broken eye contact as he continued picking up the remaining flyers.

"Well, I'll definitely give it some thought," you examined the advertisement further, in smaller lettering it said 'All students interested please meet in the library after school next monday!' the paper itself was very well decorated, it was clear effort was put forth "it's a shame I don't know much about gardening myself" your eyebrows furrowed, maybe you should look for the other clubs and settle for something simpler, like drama club, you could just be a ticket collector that way.

"I'll teach you everything you need to know, the club sounds complicated but it's really simple" Sunoo showed his smile one more time before looking at the clock "Crap, I need to post these before lunch ends, hope I see you next Monday!" Sunoo hurried down the hallways, leaving you alone with a sheet of paper in hand. 'Maybe I will see him next Monday..'

The rest of the week seemed to go by without a second thought, the only thing you remember was when you told Jay about the gardening club. "Gardening? Didn't think you were that kind of person, but hey, it's definitely out of major" Jay wasn't really one to judge, he was in art club after all. At last Monday had arrived and you were anxiously waiting for the school day to end as you sifted in your seat during science, your last class of the day.

As the final bell rang, you quickly walked out of the classroom, Jay waving a dramatic goodbye to you, fake crying and saying bad jokes like "Y/N is finally branching out, literally. Get it, because they're going to the gardening club informational meeting? No? Okay." You found your way to the library, which was harder than expected considering going from your science class to the library happened to go the opposite direction of the current traffic flow.

After being shouted at once or twice, you finally made it to the library where you already found a handful of people sitting in their own seats. A group of maybe 3 people stood near the front, you recognized one to be Sunoo from the other day. As you closed the door, Sunoo turned and had a wide smile on his face as he pointed towards you and told his friends about how the person he had bumped in to was here.

No wonder they needed more members, looks like they only have three and you need four to keep the club... You sat down in the far left as a different boy handed you another paper, this one was about the same height as Sunoo, he had cat-like eyes but they were soft, more like a house cats, and he had prominent dimples.

"Thank you for coming! Sunoo has mentioned you a few times before, I'm Yang Jungwon" You shook his hand as you read the paper, it was straightforward enough, stay after school and tend to the school gardens. You had brushed over the fact that Sunoo mentioned you, it wasn't really anything you were concerned about.

Sunoo walked up and introduced the club and let the people that were interested sign up, from the 10 or so people that were there, only 4 signed up, including you. The reason you decided on gardening being that you had visited the other clubs and their energy was obvious -- we don't want new members. It kind of made sense in your head, clubs have certain relationship dynamics between the members and they want to keep it that way.

While you wrote down your name, Sunoo leaned over the table and whispered in your ear "Thank you for coming today, I really appreciate it" His breath against your skin sent your senses into haywire, he smelled like citrus but it was hard to miss the scent of roses. How fitting. You quickly finished filling out the form before leaving the library since the meeting had ended.

Once you walked out, your spirits were dampened, literally. Rain was pouring down with no signs of stopping anytime soon. While thinking of what to do, you mind wondered to the real reason you had joined the club. You were positive that Sunoo thought you actually wanted to be in the club, how could you tell a face like his that you were only doing it because you wanted to get into your dream college and all of the other clubs scared you half to death? You were too occupied with your own thoughts to hear the conversation happening behind you.

"Sunoo take my umbrella and walk them home"

"But what about you Jungwon?"

"I'll just use Jake's"

"But-"

"I'm going to walk up to them now and expose you."

"Ok I'm going I'm going"

Before you knew it Sunoo was standing next to you. "Uh, want me to walk you home?" Sunoo was beyond nervous, he assumed it was because he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of a new club member and leave a bad first impression as the club president. Then again he probably left a bad first impression when he bumped into you. And now you probably think he's creepy for whispering in your ear earlier. Sunoo internally swore.

"Sure, my house is that way" You pointed to the right, and Sunoo was relieved "Oh I live that way too, convenient isn't it?" Sunoo started to walk, you following suite. The air between the two of your felt almost electric as invisible sparks flew around you both, how you and Sunoo were so unaware of the romantic flickers happening everywhere you went was a miracle.

You failed to notice how you excused looking at him longer than you should've as trying to be polite. Sunoo failed to notice how he was slowly walking closer to you and how his eyes occasionally flickered to your lips whenever you talked. When lightning struck Sunoo didn't mind when you grabbed his arm out of fear, and you never knew that you were afraid of lightning, you didn't realize that you only wanted to experience the feeling of his skin against yours.

Once you reached your house, he walked you to the door, because he didn't want you to get wet, not because he didn't want you to stop clinging onto his arm. The front door was reached and the two of you faced each other, you finally letting go of Sunoos arm. You cleared your throat "Thanks, for everything" you realized that your wording was poor, Sunoo didn't know that him bumping into you saved you from getting rejected by your college of choice.

"What do you mean? Thank you for joining the club even after I knocked you over" Sunoo felt his eyes flicker to your lips one too many times as you licked them due to dryness. Sunoo felt himself lean forward, he didn't know why, it felt so natural to him, as if the entire walk here was building up to this moment. His eyes half closed, he gently lifted up your chin with his free hand, the other putting down the umbrella.

You found yourself doing the same, your hands involuntarily wrapping around his neck, bringing his head closer to yours. "Is it okay if I do this?" Sunoo mumbled a soft inquiry for consent and when you nodded, Sunoo closed the already short gap between you and him.

If kissing Sunoo could be described with one word it would be.. euphorical. Your lips seemed to be molded perfectly for each other as flowers bloomed in Sunoos stomach, his heart racing so fast that your neighbors could hear it. Sunoo's hand had left your chin and now both arms were wrapped around your waist, your hands still around his neck, you pushed his head closer to you, deepening the kiss.

Eventually the both of you separated, ears red and eyes looking in different directions. "Thanks for walking me home" you said, walking up to your door and pulling out your house keys. "Yeah no problem" Sunoo cleared his throat before picking up the umbrella and leaving. Thoughts echoed throughout your mind, but one stood out.

'Maybe I should've joined the art club with Jay..'

The following days were a blur. You were almost as dazed as you were the night Sunoo walked you home. Almost. You somehow stood your ground and didn't make a complete fool of yourself as time passed because of Jay, who was willing to listen to anything remotely interesting.

"I would like to make a confirmation"

"What Jay"

"Did this happen because of gardening club"

"Yes, why bother asking"

"Just wanted to see if I would be credited for your relationship"

Jay sipped his coffee, a teasing smile evident on his face. It was the Sunday before the first proper meeting as the gardening club and you were dreading it with your entire being. Jay however, seemed to be having the time of his life as he watched your worries pour out onto the coffee table you two were sitting at.

"This is going to be the death of me" Your picked at your croissant, you weren't in the mood for anything to eat. "It's not like it was your first kiss" Jay leaned over the table and ripped off a piece of your croissant, and you didn't make any efforts to stop him. "Yeah but it's not like I go around kissing every attractive man I know less than a week after meeting him" You slumped in your chair, you felt miserable.

"I still can't believe there's another man in your life"

"Jay? You mind having priorities for once"

"You know that kinda thing doesn't come to me naturally Y/N"

At this point Jay had finished your croissant for you, you were ready to leave and figure out what you were going to do in the comfort of your bed. "Farewell, my dear comrade" Jay overdramatically bowed before parting ways. He was never shy about doing these things in public, contrary to you.

The day went by faster than you wanted it to as you felt yourself drifting to sleep. Thoughts swarmed your mind as you strived to find mental peace in the war that was currently happening in your mind.

'Why didn't I join art club?'

'Why did I kiss him?'

'Will I tell Sunoo why I actually joined the club?'

The last thought echoed in your mind, everything has gone quiet, but it wasn't the kind of quiet you had wanted. Sunoo seemed so happy that you were joining and it seems to selfish of you to bring it up on Monday, ways the conversation could fall raced though your mind.

'Hey I just want you to know that I don't want to do this club because I like gardening but I do like getting into the college I want!'

'...'

'Okay, maybe not that exact wording'

You would just keep shut and hope that the club would grow on you, and with Sunoo running the club it shouldn't be that hard right? As you drifted to sleep, you smelled the faint scent of citrus, and thought of Sunoo.

The day was definitely something you didn't want to go by as fast as it did. Yet here you were, in science. You were supposed to be reviewing for a test you had the next day, but you weren't interested, praying that Sunoo hadn't told anyone about what had happened. Were you to blame for what occured? Your notes on the trends of the periodic table were filled with scribbles as you tried coming up with a solution that put your mind at ease. None came. 

---

Traffic flow was against you, once again, as you made your way to the front of the school, your fingertips leaving prints on the handout Jungwon had given to you just last week as you readjusted your grip. The feeling of what was going to happen was suffocating you, what if Jungwon thought the two of you were dating? You were far from wanting to date yet. You mind raced and before you knew it, you were walking out of the school and into the front yard.

Typically students aren't allowed within 7 feet of the flowers, hence the fence surrounding the foliage, but you were given a pass by Sunoo this morning. Recalling it, the event had made your heart leap out of your chest, you were praying that he wouldn't mention the kiss, and to your luck he didn't. Before you could take in a deep breath of air to mentally prepare yourself, Jungwon was standing next to you.

"Hey, glad to see you could make it" Jungwon opened the gate and walked past the fence, heading over to a shed near the side of the school. "Glad I could make it as well" you feel like you were giving dry responses, you probably were, but Sunoo was currently your only object of interest. You mentally halted your thoughts. Surely you hadn't meant that Sunoo was the only thing you were worried about? You brushed it off and continued following Jungwon.

"I'll show you around today. Sunoo would do it but he left early for a doctor's appointment" Jungwon opened the shed door and held it open for you, not aware of your relief.

'Thank God he isn't here today' a sigh almost left you before you stopped yourself, you didn't want Jungwon thinking that something had happened. Looking around the shed, you took a second to process that you were going to be doing this for an entire semester.

"So.." Jungwon trailed off, trying to get your attention "Do you know anything about gardening?" Jungwon laced his hands together behind his back, his weight shifting from the back of his foot to the front, causing him to rock gently.

It took him gently reaching over and tapping your shoulder to get you out of your trance. "I'm sorry, what was that?" You mentally dragged yourself over a cliff. Now he probably thought you were a mindless ditz.

You mindlessly followed Jungwon throughout the garden, him explaining everything from the type of soil to the lack of fertilizer they had. You, were not paying attention. Your mind always wandered off to Sunoo, you wondered how many times he had gotten small cuts from working hard or if he had ever kissed someone before you.

You snapped back into your senses, everything becoming a bit too clear for your comfort. Jungwon was standing in front of the rows of soil in the shed. Everything felt louder as you shook away the feeling of something unwanted forming in your chest. It felt suffocating, but not the type of Suffolk you felt when Sunoo was walking you home, it felt sharper, and too uncontrollable for your liking.

Pushing your thoughts away, you finished up your first official day as a gardening club member. "That's all our club has to offer, well that and Sunoo" Jungwon had a playful grin on his face.

he knew

"Sunoo told me what happened on your walk home, you have good taste" Jungwon's smile was the same as it was the day you first met him, but his aura felt mischievous, as if you two had known each other for years. You felt as if everything you had been trying to do for the past few days were futile. Taking in a deep breath, you let out a flood of messy and partial incoherent thoughts.

"I'm sorry if you thought that anything was going to come out of me and Sunoo kissing, the thing is that I don't plan on staying here for all that long because I'm only doing this to get into the college I want so I'd really really prefer it if you don't take that too personal sense I know your club won't meet the member requirement when I leave after this semester ends-" Jungwon cut you off by placing a hand on your shoulder.

"You're leaving? When?" Jungwon's eyes were a bit wide with alarm, and you felt incredibly guilty. But if you were in this club for too long your grades might slip and you couldn't let that happen. "End of this semester" You could barely hear yourself, and it was shocking that the boy could hear you as if you were shouting with a megaphone.

Jungwon's hand lifted and he bit his lip, did the club really mean this much to him? "Just.. don't let Sunoo get too attached, he'll be heart broken" with a sigh, Jungwon opened the door of the shed and walked out, you following shortly after.

---

Jungwon looked back at the shed, long after you were gone, to find a familiar figure standing at the side of the shed, Jungwon was just behind the gates that blocked of the garden from the rest of the world but one thing was clear.

Sunoo was already heart broken

Sunoo wiped away his tears with his sweater paws as he stood up, the rose he was holding now broken with it's petals floating in the wind. He felt so stupid, as if the two of you could start dating when you had met not even a week ago.

Jungwon definitely didn't need to worry about Sunoo getting attached.

You were rushing through the halls, trying to find Jungwon. The semester was almost over, and you were positive that Jungwon remembered what you had told him all those months ago. You needed to know one thing before you left the club, and what was it you wanted to know so badly?

Why Sunoo was avoiding you like the plague.

It's not like Jungwon had told Sunoo right? He wasn't that kind of person, granted Jungwon wasn't that kind of a person either ... you recalled the time he poured soil down your shoe, you could still feel the cool dirt in your socks as you opened the doors to the library, midterms were coming up so Jungwon should be here, right?

Oh were you ever so incorrect.

There was Sunoo, earbuds plugged in and a sheet of blank paper in front of him. You hesitated. You had made such a big entrance that he should've noticed you. Maybe his music was too loud, or maybe he just didn't care about you enough to look up.

I'm going to leave the club soon anyways, might as well tell the president himself.

Bracing yourself, you sat down next to of Sunoo, thanking the Lord's that the library was currently empty. "I'm leaving the club" You clamped your mouth shut, but the words had already been said, floating in the wind.

"I know" Sunoo was now doodling on the previously blank paper, the way he said it made it sound like he had known for months. "Wha- How'd you-" You fumbled over you words as you tried to stop the shock that was rising through your body. "Your first day, when Jungwon was showing you around, I was there listening in on the conversation." Sunoo spoke in such a cold tone, like you we're strangers.

You felt your world drain away, the feeling was familiar, you had felt this way the day you found out that you needed to join a club, but that felt so long ago. Then another thought hit you, and it hit like a truck.

"I'm sorry if you thought that anything was going to come out of me and Sunoo kissing"

your words echoed throughout, seemingly, the entire Galaxy as Sunoo couldn't help but mentally chuckle at your stupidity. You had definitely played with him. And it wasn't even intentional. "Sunoo I'm-" you could never seem to finish a sentence as something much more pleasant intervened. Something citrus-like.

Sunoo had cupped your face and had placed your foreheads together. He couldn't stay mad at you for long, it killed him to ignore you when you had questions. It had become easier for him as you stopped initiating conversation with him, but when he saw you talking to Jungwon his feelings weren't dampered, of all things they grew. With his love growing for months, Sunoo didn't want to wait for an apology, he was waiting for your lips on his, and nothing else.

Without asking, Sunoo closed the gap and the sparks started flying around the both of you, just like the day he walked you home. "We shouldn't be doing this here" You mumbled, the vibration of your voice sent Sunoo into haywire "Then you shouldn't have made me wait so long" Sunoo laced his fingers behind your neck, the warmth from it making your heart race faster than it already was.

Once the two of you separated for air, Sunoo grabbed your hand. "You're staying in the club.. right" Sunoo rubbed his thumb over the skin of you hand, nervousness overtaking his features as he hoped the librarian in the back hadn't heard the two of you. "Will you stop ignoring me?" You rolled your eyes, this boy could not be predicted "Of course I'm staying" You cupped his hand before placing a light peck on both of his cheeks.

Enlightened, Sunoo stood up and dragged you along with him. "Where are we going?" You stumbled out of your chair, clumsily following the love of your life.

"On our first date!" Sunoo stopped walking once you both reached the garden in front of the school.

"So where to, rose?"

a/n : OMFG IT'S FINALLY DONE. if this flops it's gonna be hella embarrassing LMFAOO thank you for reading !!

- p.s. this was gonna be so much longer but I had to cut out stuff so rip ig

[watermelonlovershigh]

You Get Sick in the Back of an Uber

AN: so this was a story i have had in my drafts for like three months and just never found motivation to finish it. i decided to finish this first out of my drafts because it was one of the ones that had the most already written for it. unlike some of my others that don't have much written yet. and this was supposed to be longer but i got lazy and ended the end with no dialogue and shorted the story. but i guess that's fine because the main part of this was the uber incident and not necessary the aftercare. (i just love to always include aftercare whether its with sex or getting sick. unless its a blurb) @harryhoney-bee suggested number 1. on my voting post so thank you for requesting i finish this one shot idea that was in my drafts.

This story contains: puke, drunken person, caring husband

{ husband!harry - dad!harry - Grammys 2021 Harry - 4 kids (any age you imagine) }

word count: 1765

When you drink too much at the Grammys, you end up having to get sick in the uber ride home and Harry cares for you.

-------------------------

Back Story-

After the Grammys, Harry and I decided to go to the little after party that was being held for the Grammy attendees. We knew we couldn't stay too long because we had to get back home to our kids. They were currently with our babysitter but she couldn't stay all night. She has to go home at some point. So we made sure to watch the time.

At the afterparty, drinks were flowing. I haven't drank in a while due to the fact I had been pregnant not too long ago. This was the first night I was allowed to drink and I decided to do just that. Harry was aware of me drinking and promised to watch and take care of me. Though we were at this afterparty for him, he wanted me to let loose and have some fun as well.

But what he wasn't expecting was for me to drink the amount I did. I didn't mean to go over board. It just kind of happened. People handing out drinks left and right and next thing I knew, I was drunk. Not tipsy, drunk. When Harry noticed how drunk I was, he decided it's best to go home.

And because Harry also had drank some alcohol, he wasn't in a state to drive either. By no means was he as drunk as me though. Maybe just tipsy but he didn't want to risk it. So he decided to call an uber for us.

--------------------

Current-

We're sitting in the back of the uber on our way home. It's about an hour drive since the city is crowded with traffic due to the Grammys. Right about now is when I regret drinking any alcohol tonight. Because I haven't drank in over a year, my body isn't use to the poison running through my veins. So you could say I'm a lightweight now. My head is throbbing. My vision is blurry. My stomach is turning. Lets just say I regret all my decisions tonight that lead to me feeling this way.

"Harrrrry I don't feel good." I manage to slur out.

"You probably should have stuck to champagne instead of vodka my love." Harry responds, while stroking my hair out of my face in a gentle manner.

Another 10 minutes pass and I'm feeling very nauseous. I'm trying to focus on my breathing but it's not working.

"Harry my stomach hurts." I whisper with hooded eyes.

"Like you're gonna be sick?" Harry questions with panic.

I nod my head and hear Harry asking the driver if he can pull over.

"Can you pull over? My wife is feeling ill." Harry frantically questions the uber driver up front.

"I'm sorry sir but this freeway is packed and there is no way I can get to the side of the road right now." the driver says with a bit of an attitude.

Hearing that made me and Harry both start to panic.

"Well do you have any sick bags in here?" my husband asks.

"Sorry I don't." the driver retorts in a uncaring tone. What kind of uber driver doesn't carry sick bags for when drunks potentially need a ride but feel like they are going to be sick?

I just barley hear Harry let out a frustrated sigh and turn to me.

"Try and relax love. Take deep breaths for me, alright." Harry whispers while rubbing my back as I'm slumped over his body, too disoriented to even hold my head up.

About 3 minutes later, I feel vomit rise up my throat. There isn't much I can to do. The driver already said he couldn't pull over, nor does he have sick bags. I sit up from my slouched position and clasp a hand over my mouth. My legs are bouncing up and down. I'm trying desperately not to puke but I'm doing a poor job. Harry is sitting up with me, trying to comfort me but his words are all a blur at this point.

"If you have to be sick darling, let it out. I'll pay to get this uber cleaned, okay." Harry states in my ear. I know he'd rather not have me puke on the floor of the uber, right beside him, but he can tell I'm struggling and in discomfort.

Hearing those words was all the conformation I needed. I remove my hand from my mouth and let out a gush of alcoholic bile spew from my mouth and onto the backseat floor board. Harry gathers my hair in his hands so it's not in my face. My vomit splatters all over my legs and on the bottom of Harry's Gucci suit. I'd feel terrible about that if I wasn't so out of it, but my mind is a mushed up blur.

"Shhh, that's it. You're alright." Harry reassures me. The uber driver lets out a sigh of disgust, but this is truly his fault that I'm throwing up in his uber right now anyways.

Heave after heave, I let out more of the alcohol that was poisoning my system, right onto the floor. It's not a pretty sight. I'm having a cold sweat and my body is trembling. Though Harry has a weak stomach, when it comes to his wife (me) or his kids, he can always handle a bit of throw up. Or a lot like currently. It's like a fatherly/husband instinct that comes over him and he feels only adrenaline, not yuck.

Finally I feel my stomach relax and I sit up, breathing heavy with vomit dripping down my chin. Without thinking, I wipe it off with the back of my hand and smear it on my already ruined dress. "Feeling better?" Harry asks in a low tone.

"Mhmm." I hum, not really feeling like talking. My drunken brain has cleared up some from the majority of the alcohol being out of my system, but I still feel the after affects drinking brings. I just lean my head on Harry's shoulder for the rest of the ride home and allow the cool breeze to blow on my face. The uber driver did us all a favor by rolling the windows down so we didn't suffocate on the nasty smell of my sick.

---------------------

After-

When we arrived home, Harry payed the uber driver, not giving much of a tip and told him that he'd have someone clean his car out in the morning. As well as a half assed apology for my incident beings it could have been prevented. Then carefully, Harry lifted me out the uber and carried me into our Los Angeles home. Good thing our kids were all asleep because they shouldn't have to see their mother like this. Covered in puke and half drunk.

Harry took me to our bathroom and quickly ran down stairs to pay our babysitter, hoping she didn't question my appearance when she saw my state as we came through the front door. She didn't thankfully and left soon after her check was handed to her. Harry came back up to where he left me and helped me clean up and get ready for bed.

He stripped us of our vomit covered clothes and helped me into the big walk-in shower we have in our master bathroom. Then after he delicately washed our bodies along with my hair, he helped us out and dried us off. We brushed our teeth, me with the help of my husband because I was still a bit dizzy. After we're clean of sick and smelt fresh, he helped me put some panties and a t-shirt over my nude body and boxers on himself; just incase our kids woke up and needed us for whatever reason.

Harry helped me into our large bed and tucked me in, bending down to kiss my forehead. Then he walked down to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and a bucket incase I needed to be sick again at some point through-out the rest of the early morning. When he had all the items he intended to grab, Harry came back to our bedroom where I was already passed out with sleep.

So he just set the water on my night stand and the bucket on the floor, beside my side of the bed. Then Harry quietly exited our room and went to each of our child's bedrooms to make sure they were fine and still asleep like they should be, which they thankfully were.

When everything was done and taken care of, Harry turned the bedroom lights out and slipped in the covers with me. He helped my body scoot over and I cuddled into his warm body. I didn't realize it in my state of sleep but I knew when I awoke, I'll be thinking about how grateful I am to have a wonderful husband like Harry.

He takes such good care of me. He didn't get upset that I drank too much on his special night and accidently got wasted. He never once got upset that I basically got throw up on his expensive suit tonight in the uber. He didn't get annoyed that he had to shower both me and him past midnight, though he was exhausted. Harry loves taking care of me (and our kids) and wouldn't wish for any other life. Even when his life becomes chaotic and stressful. Harry loves his family dearly and his family love him just as much or more.

Masterlist (regular smut, fluff & sicfics)

My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

Harry Styles Series - One Shots & Blurbs Masterlist

Harry Styles blurbs, concepts, & short stories Masterlist- (short writing with little to no dialog)

[loth-wolffe]

Pairing: Crosshair x reader (no y/n)

Warnings: nudity is mentioned, but like, nothing explicit. reader and Crosshair take a bath and I tried to, you know, show the intimacy behind the act. so yeah. no smut. just fluff.

Word count: 2,2k

A/N: Considering we haven't had even a glimpse of our beloved cross, I decided it was an excellent time to post this part. This is just an entire fic of what soft, intimate times with Crosshair would be like. I hope you like it. Have a good reading!

also crosshair where are you I miss u baby please come home

also I didn't proofread this so, sorry for the typos and inconsistencies (if there are any)

lots of love for everyone ✨

Part one, part two

You hear the door whoosh, the sound making you turn the volume down of the radio besides you, and when the voice you could even recognize in your dreams calls your name, you sigh in relief.

"Here!" you shout, and it's not long before the door of the 'fresher whooshes open, revealing the grumpy sniper that made your heart jump out of your chest every time you saw him.

That moment wasn't the exception.

He doesn't even notice the setting of the refresher before he sits on the toilet, frowning deeply and resting his arm on his knee, chin on his closed fist.

"What's wrong?" You ask, sitting better on the tub.

He shakes his head, and for a moment you think he won't tell you.

"My brothers." He says as if it was the only explanation you could ever need.

"What did they do now?"

"They're just being annoying." And for some reason that makes him frown even deeper, the scowl letting you know they were being more annoying than usual.

"Did they say something?" He sighs, looking at his feet before finding your eyes, a storm of emotions and him debating between telling you about it or not, showing behind them.

It's an argument your side seemed to lose.

"You know Wrecker, he never knows when to shut up." You huff, giving him a look.

"Don't be mean, he's just trying his best." He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Of course you're on his side." The words sound venomous and sharp eyes finding yours.

You take a pause, frowning slightly, your heart and mind talking a pause to decide if you should be hurt or not. He is upset, and it seems that whatever Wrecker told him really shook those walls he always tries to have as up as possible, and even though he shouldn't be talking you like that, you can be understanding enough to let it slide.

You sigh, defeated, running a hand through your hair.

"I'm on your side." Your voice is calm, and you move to hold his hand, soaked thumb slowly caressing his knuckles. He watches the action and you hope the word get to him. "Always."

Crosshair lets out a breath, shoulders slumping slightly as he squeezes your hand in a silent thank you, and his eyes find yours once more, them revealing those words that seems to always get caught in his throat, an apology showing between his shiny eyes.

An I'm sorry for getting irritated with you, an I'm sorry for storming into your room and then lashing out on you.

But mostly, you think, an I'm sorry for being like this.

Because at some point, after our anger fades away and embarrassment takes in, you suppose you feel sorry for being the way you are. You can't find the words to tell him it's alright, to have emotions and to feel them. So instead, you try another way to calm him down.

"C'mon," you smile at him, reassuring him everything is alright, moving back to have your back against the tub, he lifts an eyebrow, questioning, "come here," you encouraged, titling your head in a quick movement to coax him.

It's then, when he notices the bottle of wine on the floor besides the tub and the almost finished glass, the aromatic candles you have on the sink and some slow song playing in the radio.

The corners of his lips lift slightly.

"Am I interrupting something?" You hum, shaking your head once.

"Not really." You let out noncommittally, taking in the surrounding yourself before explaining, "just needed some time to relax."

"I could go."

"Or you could stay," you propose, "and you know," you splash some water, bubbly soap sticking to your fingers, "join me and we could relax together."

And he just settles better in his seat, moving to sit straight as he evaluates the options, eyes scanning every bit of your face seeking for second thoughts or signs of you feeling uncomfortable. He finds none, and eventually sighs, standing up to start removing his blacks.

And you watch, shamelessly, as every bit of skin is displayed to you, and it's not like you hadn't seen it before, but there is something about him that you can't look away, eyes trying to find every scar and every bit of untouched skin, fingers itching to touch, to feel and caress, to worship.

"Enjoying the show?" He teases, voice dripping with cockiness and there's a smug smirk growing on his face.

You chuckle, turning the volume a bit up, a song you've never heard before playing softly.

"I'd be lying if I said I'm not." He snorts, unamused. "Well?" you ask, when he makes no attempt on taking his underwear off.

"Scoot over first." You shake your head.

"Sorry, can't move. I'm supposed to make my boyfriend feel better." He gives you a look, and you laugh, "c'mon, it's not like you've never been the little spoon, cuddlebug."

"It's not the same."

"It's exactly the same." He mutters under his breath something about you being ridiculous and him being even more ridiculous because he actually listens to you as he steps out of his last piece of clothing and sits down right in front of you, and the entire thing makes you grin widely, "don't be a baby, you'll see how much you'll love this and will beg me to bath together from now on." You can bet all your money your words make him roll his eyes so hard you must assume it actually hurt, "c'mon, lay down- no wait, yeah, that's better."

You're glad kaminoans are so damn long and their tubs are awfully spacious otherwise you don't think you and Crosshair would even fit.

He ends up with his head on your shoulder, his feet at each side of the faucets and you pour shampoo on your hand before stating to gently massaging his scalp.

"This is nice." You smile, taking a bit too long to shampoo his hair just because you want him to have the feeling of you taking care of him for a bit longer. He deserves it, anyways. "Don't say I told you so." He says at the same time you go,

"I told you so." And you laugh loudly as he groans. "But I'm glad you like it." You whisper, the sound of you pouring water into his head and taking extra care that it doesn't reach his face, drowning your words.

"I like anything that has to do with you." He admits, once you're finished and you hold him over his shoulders shoulders, stroking the skin of his chest slowly with your nails, mostly just moving the water, your cheek on top of his head.

"Going soft on me now, Crosshair?" He shrugs a little, enough for you to feel the movement but not to make you move away from him.

There's a pause, one that lets you know that he was thinking about what could possibly be the right answer, not for you, but for him. And it makes you ponder if that's what the boys had been annoying Crosshair with before he came to you.

"Just don't tell the others." His voice is small, quiet, as if he'd be embarrassed with the fact of them finding out you got to break all and every wall the big, grumpy and stoic Crosshair ever built.

Your heart aches for him, for the fact that he lets himself go whenever he's with you, and lets the facade he had wore for years drop onto the floor, and for it to disappear even if it's just a few seconds. It aches, with every beating it gives, but not for a sad reason, but because it is too much the love you feel for him, that sometimes gets to be too much for your soft heart to bear.

For it knows, that it is hard to admit that you are something so opposite of what others make of you so much it became what you are, too. Only to prove yourself wrong, and see you could be so much more.

"Your secret is safe with me, baby." You murmur, kissing his temple and he doesn't say anything more, but you don't expect him to, so you just turn the radio's volume a little bit more and let yourself enjoy the moment.

After a song or two, Crosshair begins to hum lowly a song you've never heard before, and you feel stunned for a second before taking in the sound, feeling tears starting to fill your eyes as he takes your hand between his, looking at the different sizes as his voice mixes with the one in the radio.

A soft, gentle yet desperate feeling bubbling in your chest wishing to come out, and a three words you've never spoken out loud before tingle in your tongue for, not the first, nor the last time.

"You know," you begin, once the song is over just to pull you out of your thoughts and making you swallow the eight letters.

Maybe another time, when you don't feel so scared of saying them.

"I didn't know you knew any song." You admit once the song is over, he chuckles, closing his eyes and settling better on your shoulder.

"Hunter listens to slow songs when everyone's asleep, he thinks no one knows about but it helps us sleep," he explains, and you could take a picture of him just like that, with the orange colors of the flames and the candle hitting half of his face, making it glow in a sweet shade that reminds you of those sweets he brings home to you when they go to Coruscant, and his hair looking darker, somewhat similar to autumn leaves, cheekbones looking more prominent and thin lips curling into a little smile, and you have never felt more at home in that cold room the kaminoans had given you a few years prior, "that's one of his favorites."

"He has a nice taste in music," you mumble, brushing his hair with your fingers, because you don't know what else to say.

"You should hear Tech's."

You giggle, and his smile widens just a bit.

"I have heard Tech's taste in music and I quite like it, he has a lot of good funky songs in his datapan." He moves to the edge of your shoulder, just so he could have a clear view of your face, you tilt your head down and bite your lip.

"I can't believe you said that." And you laugh, a rich sound that resonates in the small room.

"Funk is great." He scoffs.

"You're not allowed to be near Tech ever again," and you laugh, before cupping his cheek to kiss him chastely.

"You can't forbid me from seeing Tech, he's like, my favorite." You argue, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and he makes a sound that you're not sure if it's a laugh or because he's offended.

"Thought I was your favorite?"

"You're all my favorites," you kiss him again and he chases after you when you pull away, pecking his nose before saying, "and that one reg that always brings me caf. I think he's in love with me."

"He is." You hum noncommittally and he lifts a brow, and there's something in his honeyed that flash so fast you almost missed it, a twinge of fear, you recognize, that you might leave him for another.

"Too bad for him, 'cause I already got everything I need right now," he gives you a shy smile, and your heart swells with love, you can feel it dripping from your ribcage and wrap around your insides. "You know you're on the top of my favorites, right?" Your lips find his way to his, a couple more times before giving a light kiss on his forehead, and you could swear you could spend your whole life just kissing him.

"I'm higher than that one reg?" You chuckle, and pretend to think about it before nodding.

"Much higher."

"Higher than Wrecker?" You smile, the tainted self doubt in his voice pulling your heart strings.

"Of course, and than Hunter, and Tech." You whisper between his lips, taking a pause to peck his lips before every name. "Even more than Shaak-Ti."

"Now, that's a lie." You shook your head as a nuh-hu leaves your lips, a goofy smile shining bright on your face.

"Nope, it's true. The General has nothing on you, hotshot."

And there's a moment, right after you say that, where his eyes look at every bit of your face, memorizing every freckle and mole, and the way your eyelashes kiss your skin every time you blink, and that little scar that your hairline almost hid, and the way your eyes shone when you looked at him, and how your lips moved when you say his name.

They are at the back of his throat, those words that got stuck in yours too, that one feeling that always wants to climb out of his heart and soak you with.

He thinks that maybe, today's the day he listens to it.

"Crosshair?" You ask, feeling yourself shrink under his intense stare, your voice snapping him out of whatever enchantment you always seem to pull on him.

He shakes his head, for whatever he was thinking to disappear into the back of his mind.

Maybe another day.

So instead of pouring out his heart for you, in hopes you grab it as it falls, he says,

"It's late, we should get out of here."

taglist:

@m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @dottiechan

you can leave or join my taglist ✨ here ✨

[lepusrufus]

Lil' Mia and Miranda thing since I dragged you guys down the rarepair hell with me~

---

Lab equipment was really not meant to blend well within a lived-in home. And it didn't. The plush carpet on top of wooden floors giving way to the smooth lab flooring that squeaked under boots not appropriate for the setting created an odd contrast. Not that that was uncharacteristic for Miranda, any of her workspaces falling perfectly under the description of an organized mess, with particular emphasis on mess.

With Rose sleeping peacefully in the room generously, suspiciously so, provided by Miranda, Mia decided to stretch her legs by walking around the manor, the baby monitor connected to her phone. The building was relatively big, albeit quite old, tucked in the woods somewhere between the Beneviento house and the factory, with a tunnel conveniently connecting it to the labs running under the town. It had close to no spatial organization, bedrooms and labs and storage rooms alternating by patterns known only by the so-called goddess, or most likely not even by her.

Mia did not trust the woman. Not with the memories of the prison cell and the kidnapping of her daughter for experiments still fresh in her mind. But, the tiredness of motherhood and the odd loneliness that came with being the only two inhabitants of the house that were capable of coherent speech as of now, had her longing for some company.

It was an easy task finding Miranda, the soft cries of Eva guiding her down a short hallway to a lab door left ajar. Inside, the woman was sat at a desk, a laptop with half written reports and notes in front of her, pushed out of the grasp of the fussing infant in her arms. Miranda was far too busy trying to calm her daughter down enough to fall asleep to notice Mia leaning on the doorframe, curiously observing the scene. Oddly human, in her failing attempt to get her child to stop crying, when at any given time she could get anyone to kneel before her and bend over backwards to her every whim. Yet a small infant was giving her so much trouble.

"Need a hand?" Mia offered with a small chuckle. Should she even offer her help?

"I am fine thank you." But a slightly louder wail from Eva came with perfect timing to disprove her words.

Miranda's shoulders seemed to slump ever so slightly as her eyes closed slowly, the usual makeup replaced by dark circles, testimony to the long hours spent going through decades of research and reports while also caring for her newly reborn daughter. It was oddly bittersweet, to see a woman so dignified otherwise all but beg the small child to go to sleep so she could finish her work.

Work, Mia concluded, that was rather essential for the whole place, and also her home for now, to continue existing the way it was. With a sigh she walked up to the desk and gently stoked Eva's short brunette hair. "Here, let me hold her. At least until you finish typing whatever it is you're doing," she said waving a hand in the direction of the forgotten computer, who's screen had turned black by now.

There were a few long seconds of hesitation, but a weary glance at the mountain of files on the other side of the desk that she was yet to go through convinced Miranda to finally allow her daughter slip into Mia's arms. It took maybe five minutes of cooing and a one sided conversation made in silly voices to turn the cries into giggles, small hands trying to grasp at Mia's finger that was ticklishly caressing puffy cheeks. Exhausted from crying, Eva's eyes slowly fluttered shut and she was gingerly lowered into a crib set by the desk, one of the many scattered around the house.

Miranda watched the scene unfold with uncharacteristic softness slipping by the icy mask of her steely eyes. Even goddesses can be caught by surprise it seemed, and whether it was due to the apparent skills that Mia had with calming Eva down or at how she was willing to help despite their precarious position was up to debate.

"Shouldn't you be better at this," Mia asked, pulling one of the chairs closer to sit in. "I know it's been, what, two or three centuries or something but haven't you done this before?"

Her question was obviously poking fun for the most part, but Miranda couldn't help the tired sigh that crawled its way from the depths of her now useless lungs.

"No, actually. I haven't," she responded curtly as she grabbed one of the files and opened it in order to transcribe its contents in a digital file. "At least not on my own," she added upon remembering the numerous subjects she helped raise during her time working with The Connections.

"Oh? Did you have a sweet loving husband once upon a time? Do tell me more," Mia said leaning her chin on her palms as if she were a teenager at a sleepover talking about crushes, although the memory of Ethan clawing its way to the forefront of her thoughts made her grimace slightly, until she pushed it back down in the depths of her mind.

It was foolish perhaps, acting like that around a woman that could, and would with the right motivation, kill her in the blink of an eye. Truth be told though, Mia was bored out of her mind, so what better way to pass the time than push Miranda's buttons, especially when she seemed too tired to retaliate.

The so-called goddess grimaced, at least ten different reasons to find the thought outrageous flashing through her mind and, settling on the most obvious one, looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "I was a nun."

Mia leaned back in her chair, looking at the black head covering hanging from a hook behind the door, together with black robes. She had to wonder if they were the same ancient ones or if she replaced them every once in a while.

"Yeah, I couldn't tell," she chuckled. "A nun turned goddess. How ironic don't you think."

"Worshipping was never quite up my alley. And neither were men," she replied flatly, turning the pages in front of her and typing the relevant information in the file she had open on the screen.

Mia's eyes widened slightly with an amused oh. "So was she raised by the convent then?"

Was this information really to be given out? Mirada did not like talking about her past, or personal information in general. Gods did not need backstories, they simply were.

She sighed. "No, no. Her parents died when she was four and with nobody else to look for her, she was brought to us." Miranda gave a small shrug, pausing to type up decades old results on lycans. "I was the newest there, so the nuns dumped her on me. I was so mad at first, but she's always been such a brilliant little girl, even back then. She would ask for a bedtime story and did not complain when I'd start reading from one of the medical books I stole from the merchant. There was just something about her that made her grow on me."

With the paragraph done, she pushed her chair back, quietly so as to not have its legs scratch against the linoleum floor, and walked to another, smaller desk pushed against a wall. From there, she walked back to the crib where the small infant was sleeping peacefully, a small doll in hand. Doll that Mia recognized immediately, as an identical one was by her own daughter's sleeping form, back in their room. It was a small replica of Angie, plush and soft to the touch, unlike its real life wooden counterpart, the white dress made of delicate silk. Both toys had been made by Donna herself as gifts.

"But as you can guess, she was well past a toddler when she was placed in my care," Miranda finished, leaving the doll just by her sleeping daughter's side.

"So you suck with babies," Mia concluded with a grin. She would have laughed, but had enough clarity of mind to be quiet.

Miranda simply gave her a tired glare before rolling her eyes. She went back to her desk and opened a new file to be transcribed, this one on the reservoir's structure.

"I can care for them," she started, an odd almost imperceptible strain in her voice. "It just gets trickier when it's my own daughter and not an act."

Mia nodded absent mindedly, eyes darting to Eva. To see a woman with such power and ruthlessness, who could level the whole town to the ground if she so pleased, show such raw genuine affection towards the child made some of the notions in her brain crumble to the ground. Miranda was still the same woman who, ironically enough, experimented on more children than she cared to count, but then again Mia was also a willing participant in said experiments so was she really that much better?

She definitely was, Mia concluded, choosing to ignore a small pang at her heart when she watched all the ice in those gray eyes melt into tenderness while looking at her daughter. Instead, she started toying with one of the many pens scattered on the desk.

"Since I'm staying here, I don't mind helping you out with her," Mia said quietly, keeping her eyes on the small giraffe doodle she was doing on a napkin.

It wasn't for Miranda's sake really. She simply wanted the best for Eva, the child completely innocent unlike the atrocities committed by her mother throughout the last few centuries. Besides, it would be nice for Rose to have a friend not unlike herself, given the yet to be understood power both girls possessed.

"There's no need-"

"Consider it a thank you for letting us stay here, without a sniper pointing at my daughter's head at all times," Mia finished, a slither of ire slipping into her tone on the last words, the memory of a rookie agent panicking and pointing his gun to Rose for the unforgivable crime of being a hungry crying child seared behind her eyelids.

Miranda sighed, an odd sense of relief washing over her. After centuries of trying to bring her back, you'd think the she would do anything to spend each and every second with Eva, not letting anyone else care for her in any capacity, but truth be told, the prospect of not facing motherhood completely alone, even if Mia was helping her solely out of some sense of obligation, did not sound half bad.

"As you wish," she finally said, going back to the half written paragraph her mind drifted away from minutes earlier.

[monstersandmaw]

Hi there. I've got lots of work in progress' I haven't gone back to in years, thing is I really like writing and want to get back into it but I just don't know how? I'm starting to think I might just not have what it takes to be a writer.

So as someone who is quite an extensive writer, what advice would you give to someone who desperately wants to write but won't ?

ooooof, Anon, your ask hit home with the accuracy of a flipping missile!! I know you’re not the only one struggling right now, and the key I think is to be a mix of very gentle with yourself and simultaneously just a little bit stern.

I burnt out completely in December 2020, and didn’t write anything for nearly five months, which was devastating. I’m a writer! That’s who and what I am. And I couldn’t do it??? I was deeply shaken by it, and I’m only just starting to claw my way back to my identity as a writer. I’ve had creative slumps before, but never a complete inability to write at all, and no one really... got it? I’ve had to postpone working on my novel, despite constant pressure from my family, which sucks.

I can’t tell you what will work for you for certain, obviously, but I can tell you what has helped me a bit, and hopefully something there will resonate, and you’ll be able to use it for your own struggles. Hang on in there, Anon!

First off, and I cannot stress this enough, you are still a writer. You don’t have to be sitting at the keyboard and typing actively all the time to call yourself a writer. You can be a writer while also taking a break, no matter how long that break is. If you want your identity to be that of ‘writer’, then you are. Tell yourself you are a writer, even when you’re not actively writing.

Force yourself to stop trying to write for a while. It sounds bonkers, and counterintuitive, but if you’re on a forced break, it might help recharge your energy. Tell yourself you’re not going to try and write for at least a whole month. Don’t open any WIP docs. Don’t re-read stuff you’ve got stuck on in the hopes that this time you’ll finish it. You’re on break, and you’ve given yourself permission not to be writing.

While you’re on your break though, feel free to use a little notebook or something to jot down any ideas you have, or snippets of dialogue/scenes etc., as scraps for the future. Just don’t try to make them into a big complete work just yet.

Read. Read lots of new books and stories. Push the boundaries of your usual genre comfort zones and try a new genre. Analyse the writing of these authors closely. Why do you like their style? What makes their style unique? Why does that sentence work so well, and why does that one feel flat or clunky? Be active in your reading, and it might trigger some enthusiasm for your own creativity. Hold onto that feeling, and see if you want to have another go after your break.

Write something for someone else. I took on some commissions recently, knowing I would be obliged to finish them, but I set a limit on the wordcount so I didn’t get super overwhelmed each time. (This is the ‘being a little bit stern’ part.)

Once your break is over (if you decide a break suits you in the first place!), write just one sentence and then walk away. Close the document and go and do something else. If you want to come back and write more later, then do. If not, you still wrote something. Do the same the next day.

Go outdoors if you can and think about your story somewhere else. Perhaps the change of environment will make it feel more refreshed. Take a notebook with you and write somewhere else. It might even feel like a treat!

Make sure you’re comfortable when you’re going to write. Turn your phone off, disconnect your laptop from the wifi, have some water or tea or whatever nearby, go to the bathroom first, put a jumper on or open the window. Just... give yourself permission to write for the joy of it. Remember why you wanted to tell these stories in the first place.

If you’re still not really feeling it, try creating character moodboards on Pinterest, or colour palettes for your characters, abstract watercolours, or whatever creative medium you fancy. Draw maps of the world, or just try and be creative within the universe of your stories without writing them.

Try a writing exchange with another author.

Take writing prompts for ten sentence drabbles or something.

And if none of that helps, forgive yourself for not having the energy to be creative in this way at the moment. Find a way to let go of the guilt and self-flagellation that a lot of creatives go through when their main focus isn’t playing ball. It’s ok to go into a creative slump, and it can take a long time to come out of it.

Hopefully some of that is helpful? It sucks, it really really sucks, when you’re not able to do something you love for whatever reason. Check out my ‘writing advice’ tag because I’ve written a few posts on creative block/writer’s block/creative hibernation before, and I might have missed some points in answering this.

Good luck, and go gently with yourself.

[bubblesuga]

Mahina || Part 2

Summary: You're a mystery to Jungkook. His newfound interest in you continues to grow, and he's determined to learn everything about you. genre: smut, fluff, angst word count: 5,216 tags: idol!au, fantasy!au

PART 1

This was probably a mistake.

Jungkook hasn't stopped thinking about you, dreaming about you. Your scent leaves him absolutely intoxicated and he's not willing to go without you for much longer.

Herein lies the problem: Jungkook hasn't had a moment alone with you since the day in the gym. It's only been a week, and shortly after you left him he found himself longing for more. It's the closest he's ever been to high, he's sure of it. Because of that, every time he sees you he has to hold himself back from dragging you away and taking you in the nearest empty room.

Your interactions together have been predominantly professional. You finished the rest of the solo shots and have been around to film Bangtan Bombs, taking pictures whenever you feel it would be appropriate. You've maintained your composure in front of him, not for lack of hurting Jungkook's feelings. He feels dumb for feeling like you're uninterested now, but every time you use words that don't give any indication of your attraction to him, he feels as though you're over it. Maybe you are, it wouldn't be the first time a woman left him after the first night.

Jungkook can feel that he's spacing out, his eyes are wide but he can't draw them away from the floor. His head is spinning in circles with thoughts of you. Both memories of the other day and the potential his fears have to coming to fruition.

He hears his name being called, so he tries his best to shake himself out of the trance he's in. Glancing up, he sees you.

Nearly jumping out of his skin, he scoots back and stands from his chair, doing a mid bow, "H- hey! How's it going?"

"Calm down Mr. Jeon, there's no need for the formalities." you giggle, grasping an apple from the bowl of fruit on the table. The commons area is empty, the only sound being the water cooler bubbling occasionally as it refills.

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, "You just called me Mr. Jeon but don't want formalities?"

"Because you're my boss," you shrug, "I'm supposed to call you Mr. Jeon."

"Well, stop. It makes me feel old." Jungkook has to hide his grin when he notices the concern on your face. So you do still care.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." your lips are turned down in a frown, your shoulders slumping slightly. Today, you're wearing a white T-shirt, your red bra showing slightly through the thin material. It's not something that's extremely noticeable, only if Jungkook stared. Which he did, he couldn't help himself now that he's seen you without clothes.

Sympathy crosses Jungkook's face, "Oh no, _____. You didn't upset me, I was just teasing you."

Your frown twitches, "That's mean."

"You're mean." Jungkook retaliates.

"How am I the mean one here?" you fight, your jaw dropping and arms flying up in question.

"Because you haven't spoke to me normally since we fu-" Jungkook doesn't have the chance to finish his sentence, because your hands fly to his mouth. This is the first time you've touched him in a week, and he is reeling instantly.

"You can't just say that," you whisper, your eyes watching the door, "someone could hear you. Then what? I get fired?"

Jungkook didn't think about that.

"Listen. I like you, Jungkook, but we can't go around announcing what we did. My job is on the line if others find out, but you'll get a slap on the wrist," you finally move your hand, and Jungkook's skin burns where you once rested, "just think about that before staring at me like you want to devour me in a meeting full of higher ups."

"I did that?" he feels his face burn red.

"You practically undressed me with your eyes. That's why I haven't been interacting with you much." your words are scolding but your tone is light. Jungkook feels like he's in trouble but doesn't expect a punishment, much like when his mom would find out he sneaked candy into school when he was younger. Nothing is actually going to happen to him. He kind of wants something to happen to him though.

"You liked it though, didn't you?"

Bold, he thinks to himself, good job, Jungkook.

Your stance falters for a moment, a glint shining in your eye, "Liked what?"

"The fact that I can't stop thinking about you," Jungkook starts, reaching his hand forward and stroking your cheekbone with his thumb, "the fact that your wet cunt is the greatest thing I've ever felt, and I can't wait to be inside you again."

He sees your eyes widen, glancing over to the door again. Jungkook suddenly feels a sense of jealousy, the fact that your mind is somewhere other than with him causes him to whine audibly. He keeps his ears trained for footsteps, dragging your attention back to him. "Don't look at the door, look at me."

Your eyes move from the door, straight to him. His thumb moves to your lips, "Such a pretty girl. I want to kiss you so bad."

His earlier fear has disappeared, replaced with a sudden need. He doesn't want you, no. He needs you. He needs to feel you against him, to hear you moan, to whisper your name in your ear as he cums. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your lips. Because despite desperately wanting to bend you over the table and fuck you into oblivion, your job is more important. He doesn't want to get in the way of your career.

"You think I'm pretty?" you whisper against his lips.

"Ethereal." he responds.

He begins to kiss you again, this time with much more need than before. How could you ask such a silly question? Of course he thinks you're gorgeous. So gorgeous, in fact, that he questions whether you have some sort of otherworldly disposition, like an angel sent from above. He's never come across someone as inherently perfect as you.

Just when your tongue slips into his mouth, Jungkook hears heavy footsteps. He pulls away abruptly, slipping his hand from your face to behind his neck, scratching nervously.

You back away and pick up your camera, pointing it at Jungkook. He looks at you, and he smiles. A simple one, hiding the thoughts behind his eyes. He makes sure his teeth show, because he knows everybody loves his teeth.

"Perfect, Jungkook," you say as Seokjin enters the room, "now if you come up with any other domestic or casual themes just let me know."

"Domestic or casual?" Seokjin laughs, "Jungkookie, what are you telling this poor woman?"

"What?" Jungkook chuckles nervously, "I can be domestic."

"Perceived, maybe. But actually be domestic? Impossible." Seokjin fills up a glass of water and chugs. Jungkook glances toward you and you raise an eyebrow. He decides he'll explain later.

"Hey, _____. You should take a picture of my reflection in a spoon." Seokjin holds up a large spoon, staring at the concave reflection.

"Why would I do that?"

"For the humor! Come on, you need to lighten up." Seokjin turns the spoon around and Jungkook glances at you, before shaking his head with a laugh and walking out of the room.

~*~*~

"So you have a thing for the photographer?" Yoongi suddenly asks in the dorms that night, causing Jungkook to swallow.

"What makes you say that?" Jungkook's immediate defensiveness doesn't seem to make him sound innocent. Yoongi tosses his head back and lets out a breathy laugh, "Because you licked your lips in her direction like 30 times today."

"I didn't have any chapstick."

Yoongi shakes his head, "I get it, she's hot, but is she 'ruin-your's-and-her's-career-for-some-pussy' hot?"

"That's awfully derogatory, Hyung." Jungkook bites back his jealousy.

"For real, though. If you're gonna risk it, you might as well stop being such a wimp about it." Yoongi usually isn't one to offer his advice unwarranted. When Jungkook was younger, he saw Yoongi as this mysterious-sensei like figure that only spoke when asked questions he found interesting. Similarly, whenever Jungkook was struggling morally, Yoongi was his go-to. He certainly had to trek to his studio and beg to be let in for any advice.

"Nah, I'm not into her," Jungkook lies through his teeth, "she's pretty and all but she's all work and no play."

"Really? She seemed pretty playful in my studio the other day." Yoongi mentions casually, taking a sip of some nasty lager he ordered from Germany.

Jungkook grips the edge of the couch, taking a subtle breath when he notices a glint in Yoongi's eyes. "Really?" he tries his hardest to hide his annoyance, "what happened?"

"She was bent over the table, playing with all the knobs and buttons on my mixer," Yoongi smirks, "asking me all sorts of questions. 'What's this one do?' and 'What about this one?'" he raises his tone mockingly, "such a curious girl. Sometimes I wonder if she's seen technology at all."

"Yeah, it's like the only thing she knows is her camera." Jungkook fakes a laugh.

"Makes me wonder if I should ask her to take playgirl pictures of me for my own keepsake. I wouldn't mind her seeing me naked."

"Alright! I'm going to bed. Nice talk, Yoongi."

Jungkook stands abruptly, moving to step over Yoongi's legs, but he's stopped by Yoongi's hand gripping his calf. "I knew you had a thing for her!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jungkook shakes his leg from Yoongi's grip, crossing his arms over his shirtless torso. Yoongi stands up, "I saw you two making out in the commons room today."

Jungkook feels his entire body go numb, "We weren't making out," he scoffs, "she had something in her teeth."

"So you were trying to get it out with your tongue?"

"Yoongi!" Jungkook is never the one to scold, but he can't stop himself.

"Relax buddy, your secret is safe with me. I even stalled Seokjin from interrupting you two." Yoongi seems so casual, like he's not currently holding life-altering information in his hands.

"So you don't want her to shoot you naked?" Jungkook's embarrassed that this is his first thought.

"Nah I wouldn't do that to you." Yoongi grins, his eyes disappearing behind his happiness.

Jungkook pouts, "No one can know."

"I know, I heard the conversation."

"You listened in on us?!" He raises his voice, quickly quieting down once he realizes how late it is.

Yoongi laughs, "Yeah."

~*~*~

Ten hours later, Jungkook is back at the Hybe building. He managed to get some sleep after the conversation with Yoongi. If anything, he feels slightly better that someone knows and therefore he has someone to talk about it with. Jungkook has wanted nothing more than to talk about it, and since it's so difficult to catch you, Yoongi was his best bet. He spends a while talking to him about how weirdly connected he feels to you. Like it goes beyond lust, but he's not exactly sure what that beyond is.

Yoongi encourages Jungkook to speak to you about it, but Jungkook is still unsure. He's only known you a week. A glorious week, but a week nonetheless. Jungkook fears an admission of how he's feeling will scare you away and push you into nothing more than just a photographer. As he spoke to Yoongi, he realized that in his copious amount of spacing out and Maladaptive Daydreaming, he's pictured himself taking you out on a date. No sex, no lust, just good food and wine.

This is how he knows there's a connection.

So, as he rides the elevator up to the 13th floor, he nervously adjusts his button up. Deciding to skip his work out this morning, he's dressed himself in torn skinny jeans and folded his sleeves up to look as suave as he can. He realizes that his muscles clearly show beneath the silk fabric of his shirt, and he smiles. He hopes you like it.

Wandering down the hall after a grueling 3 minute elevator ride, he arrives at the office you claimed. He's never been in here, nor does he know what you do in here, but he's excited to see how you've made it your own.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

No answer.

Knock knock knock.

Nothing.

He presses his ear to the door and can hear you. You're whispering to someone, your voice sounding urgent and annoyed.

"I know, Mother. I am trying but there's only so much I can do in this form."

"Well you need to try harder. Earth is wearing on you." Another voice says, and it sounds as if they're in the room. Jungkook doesn't recognize the voice as any of the staff.

What are they talking about?

Knockknockknock!

He tries once more for good measure and hears you gasp, then a loud thud. You scramble to the door, and Jungkook backs away just in time for you to open it.

Your hair is wild, and for a moment Jungkook swears he sees your skin a slight blue tone. Blowing a stray strand of hair out of your face, you smile, "What's up, Jungkook?"

He raises an eyebrow, "What, uh- what's going on in there?"

"Oh, nothing. Zoom meetings, you know the drill." a small burst of wind comes from behind you, shaking the loose shirt around your torso. Weird, he didn't think you'd open the window with how hot it is outside. You bite your lip, "What can I do for you?"

Jungkook feels nervousness at his trembling hands. He glances down the hallway and sees a door beginning to open, "Can I come in?"

You glance behind you, then nod, opening the door wider.

Jungkook slips in quickly, closing the door behind him.

"So, what's up?" You plop down onto your chair, an editing software Jungkook is unfamiliar with displayed on your monitor.

Jungkook lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. Softly, he speaks, "Can I make you dinner?"

A grin stretches across your face, "Like a date?"

"Yes, like a date." Jungkook mirrors your grin.

"Then obviously," you move from your chair and straddle his thighs, on the couch he placed himself on, "I would be thrilled."

"Oh yeah?" Jungkook brings you down to his mouth, his tongue massaging against yours. The heat from your body sears into his, trapping him against the couch. He thinks he may faint from your proximity. His hands roam your back, his fingers dipping beneath the hem of your shirt to play with your hot skin and listening to the sounds of content coming out of your mouth, slightly muffled by his own.

As he brings his fingers up your back, he feels the bottom of the scars he saw the last time you were in this position. Just as he's about to ask about them, he feels you grind onto his thigh. He flexes, and you gasp into his mouth.

"You like thigh riding?" Jungkook murmurs, his voice deep and rough. He can hear you whimpering as you move your hips again. He glances down and sees your jeans rutting against you. Sliding his hands to the button of your pants, he undoes it, "That can't be comfortable, baby. Take your pants off."

You gasp as he unzips your jeans, "I don't want to get your pants wet."

He bites back a moan at how incredibly dirty that sounds. You already sound fucked out, as though he's made you cum 5 times. It seems the affect you have on him aligns with the affect he has on you.

"I'll take off my pants, too. I want you to get yourself off on my thigh."

You both move quickly to pull off your bottoms. The moment you're free, you place yourself back on Jungkook's thigh and begin riding. His lips travel up and down your neck, stopping at the base of your collarbone and nibbling gently. The moan you illicit is so hot that Jungkook almost pulls you off of his thigh and directly on his dick. Almost.

He can't bare to remove you from your pleasure as your face contorts into complete and utter bliss. Smiling, he makes sure his hands roam close to your inner thighs, flexing his thigh every once in a while for an added amount of pressure against your wet cunt. He doesn't think he's ever been this hard before, watching you with eyes as wide as saucers while you come undone above him, your orgasm giving you literal chills. Goosebumps rise on your skin while you call his name out repeatedly.

"Fuck." Jungkook whispers, "Get on your knees. Now."

"Yes sir." you breathe, falling to your knees in between Jungkook's thighs.

As you reach forward, Jungkook slaps your hand away.

"One touch and I'm coming, so make it count."

Your cheeks are warm against his hands, your eyes blown out as you still tingle from your release. You reach forward, slipping his boxers off of his waist and licking your lips when you see his cock spring free. There's a sudden cuteness to your expression, as though you've never had your tongue this close to a cock before. However, the moment you place your lips around the tip, he can tell that isn't the case.

"God damn it, baby," he instantly thrusts upward, causing you to gag. He looks down with a sheepish smile, "I'm sorry."

You shake your head, "Choke me with your cock."

Jungkook is in utter euphoria. With one swift thrust, he is releasing down your throat. You sputter around him, your throat contracting repeatedly as you swallow his cum.

"Holy shit." He whispers as you pull off, a string of saliva connecting you to him.

You pull yourself to him, resting your head on his shoulder. He strokes your inner thigh, his large hand enjoying the thickness of your thigh. He loves having something to hold on to.

"I got all dressed up for you and you managed to get me half naked in less than 10 minutes." Jungkook jokes, feeling your hand stroke his chest.

You giggle, "Next time it'll be all the way naked in 5 minutes."

~*~*~

Jungkook has never prepared a meal as good as the one sitting on the table in front of him.

He spent hours creating pasta from scratch. Mixing the dough, watching it proof, cutting it by hand (because he really couldn't figure out how to attach the extension to Seokjin's way-too-expensive mixer), and boiling it to a perfect Al Dente texture. He created the sauce entirely from scratch as well, staring with a heavy cream and adding Parmesan and various seasonings until it somewhat resembled an Alfredo sauce. He's not entirely sure how he ended up here, but he watched a video about it like 3 years ago on one of those nights that he just couldn't fall asleep and it has stuck with him ever since.

Now that's steaming on the table, he anxiously awaits your arrival.

He rented a small house on the country side, the private beach just behind the fancy Air BNB being the main attraction to him. He hasn't swam in the ocean in years for fear that someone could recognize him, and he misses the feeling of the salty water against his skin. He hopes you're willing to join him for a dip later on in the evening.

After consulting Yoongi on what his plan should be, he said you seem like the type of person who enjoys simplicity. So, he made the most simple meal he could think of, while simultaneously throwing as much work into it as he could.

Just as he begins to worry about the food going cold before you arrive, the doorbell rings.

He runs to the door, before pausing at the floor length mirror by the shoe closet and checking his appearance. His movements stutter for a second, and he reaches his hands to the buttons on his shirt, undoing the top three. Smirking, he turns and opens the door.

And his jaw drops.

The dress you wear is floor length, silver sequins shining all the way up to the 'V' line, exposing just enough cleavage to be sexy. Your skin glows beneath the setting sun, a smile on your face that's bright enough to blind Jungkook.

"Flies are gonna get in your mouth if you keep it open like that, ya know." you step into the doorway, taking 2 fingers and lifting Jungkook's jaw up. He swallows the little bit of saliva he began to feel collecting on his tongue.

"You look gorgeous." he says after a moment of collecting himself, stepping to the side and allowing you to walk all the way in.

Your eyes trail Jungkook's body up and down, stilling at his skinny jeans.

"Sorry," you breathe, "I just got flashbacks of yesterday in my office."

Jungkook hides his victorious smile, "If you're a good girl and eat your dinner, I'll let you do it again."

"I'll do whatever you say, sir." your voice is low, seductive. It carries through Jungkook's ears like a soft whisper, and it excites him immediately. He swallows his excitement, though, because tonight is about getting to know you.

So, as you sit at the dining table and watch Jungkook begin to plate your food, he speaks, "Where are you from?"

His question seems to shock you and your quiet for a moment. Raising his eyebrow, he plates his own food and sits across from you.

"Here." you say simply.

"Where's 'here'?" Jungkook retorts, watching as you twirl pasta around your fork. You take a big bite, and Jungkook prays you enjoy it. When your face lights up, Jungkook releases a breath he didn't even realize he was holding in.

"This is so good Jungkook, where did you get it?" you ask, digging in and taking another bite.

"I made it." He replies proudly.

"Nuh-uh," you tease, "this tastes like it's straight from Italy. Ain't no way you didn't use your fancy BTS powers and get this flown here straight from Gordon Ramsey's kitchen."

"Fancy BTS powers?" Jungkook laughs.

"Yeah! You're, like-" you gesture wildly, "thing you got going on. The whole 'I'm a celebrity and everyone gets on their knees for me' thing that you can do."

"What are you talking about?" Jungkook asks incredulously, humor lacing his tone.

"You know what I mean." you pout, pushing more pasta into your mouth.

Jungkook takes the quick silence to take his first bite.

Okay, he did a good job.

Swallowing, he licks his lips clean of sauce. He doesn't miss the smile on your face when his tongue pokes out. "Don't think you've distracted me from the question. Where did you grow up?"

You roll your eyes, "I grew up in a regular old house. Nothing special about my childhood."

"You're lying."

"What makes you say that?"

"You can't be as incredibly talented as you are without having something interesting happen to you as you grew up." Jungkook knows his theory has flaws but he's hoping his words are enough to make you feel comfortable enough to open up to him more.

You mull over his words for a moment. Jungkook is trying his hardest to read you, because for the first time since he's met you, you seem nervous. You're tenser than usual, your legs crossed and your hand gripping the fork hard enough for your knuckles to turn white. Why on Earth would a simple question cause you this much distress? He doesn't know what to say, and he's scared to opt for changing the subject. So, he waits.

"My parents are from two entirely different back rounds," you begin, setting down your fork and loosening your posture, "like, really different. My mom has always been better off than my dad was. When she was younger, she wore a crown on her head that was completely encrusted in diamonds."

Jungkook's eyes widen, "So was she really wealthy?"

"Still is," you explain, "but she's really branched off on her materialistic possessions. She often craves for her children to be as prepared and well off as she was."

"Oh," he says, a minute response now that he's getting what he wanted. He just wants to hear more, "you said 'was' when speaking of your dad, did he pass?"

You smile sadly, "Ages ago."

"What was he like?"

A beat of time passes and Jungkook feels his heart thud. He's aching for you, for your loss. He's watching as painful memories cross over your features.

"Like I said, he grew up completely different from my mom. He was a Shepard and worked really hard to get as far as he got. He met my mom when he was 17 and immediately fell in love with her, and not long after she got pregnant with lil' old me." you grin brightly, hiding your earlier sadness and posing with your hands beneath your chin.

Despite your cutesy pose, Jungkook feels his curiosity growing, "How did he pass?"

"Jeeze, all these questions," you laugh sheepishly, and your sadness returns, "My parents separated shortly after I was born. I spent the spring and summer months with my mother and fall and winter with my father. One Spring, I got a call that my father had been in an accident. It was really long ago so I can't remember details, but he died shortly after that."

"I- I'm so sorry." Jungkook whispers, "that's horrific."

"Life goes on," you inhale through your nose, "enough about me. Tell me how you chose BigHit when all those companies were after you."

Jungkook allows the subject change to roll through, nervous that his curiosity may have offended you. He tells you about his early years, explaining that he's always had a dream of becoming a singer. His parents struggled financially when he was a kid, so he insisted on getting rich so he could help them out. Now that he's an adult, and he is rich (though he hates to label himself as such), he doesn't know what to do with his money. He paid off his parents' house and bought them both new cars, he makes sure that all of their wants are taken care of.

At first his mother tried to refuse his gifts, stating that he had earned it himself therefore he should use it on himself. At this point they were 4 years into the band, the first little while they didn't make nearly as much money as other idol groups did. As soon as he got his first decent check, he immediately spent it on his parents. He's grateful for his mother's concern, but he always told him he was going to take care of them. His parents have learned to just accept the gifts he brings them, but they still haven't blatantly asked for help.

You laugh when Jungkook says he has to become a private investigator when he wants to know how his parents are doing. If there's ever a problem, he has to figure it out for himself because his father has too much pride to ask for help from his son. Jungkook knows they are grateful for everything that he has done for them, but he doesn't want gratitude. He wants them to be happy.

The rest of the meal goes smoothly after that, laughter being shared as you both speak about your lives. It seems as though your earlier admissions about you family life has eased your discomfort with talking about yourself. You tell Jungkook a story about how your mother came down to your father's farm for a week while she was pregnant, just to see how he lived his work life, and was quickly bombarded with 12 sheep as he opened the gate.

When the plates are cleared, Jungkook glances towards the beach, "Want to go on a walk?"

You smile, "Please."

He takes your hand and leads you out of the house and onto the beach. You don't seem to mind that your dress drags in the sand, because you're quick to kick off your heels and sink your feet into the ground.

"Ah," you sigh happily, "I love the way the Earth feels."

Jungkook can't wipe the smile off of his face while he scrunches his nose, "As opposed to Pluto?"

"Yes!" you give his hand a squeeze, "Pluto is too cold to enjoy, even for me."

Jungkook swings your hands together while you approach the water, "You speak as though you've been there."

You seem shy for a moment, "In my dreams."

"So, in your dreams," Jungkook humors you, "you've been to Pluto and stayed long enough to develop a negative opinion about it?"

"If you felt the things I felt, you'd hate Pluto too." you defend, taking your hand away from his and plopping onto the wet sand. Your dress, albeit expensive and pretty, looks even better on you when wet. Jungkook doesn't hesitate to sit in the small waves with you.

"NASA hated Pluto enough to declassify it as a planet, so at least someone agrees with you."

You scrunch your nose, "You're a dork."

Jungkook fakes offense, pushing your shoulder lightly.

You fall backward, dramatically splashing into the water. Jungkook gasps, jumping forward and grabbing your arms, pulling you out of the water. "I didn't mean for you to fall in!"

You let out a giggle, before disappearing under the water again. You slip from Jungkook's hands and swim away, Jungkook losing sight of you under the foamy waves. He swims further out, far enough that the water stands to his chest, and twists around to look for you.

A dark shadow appears just beside him, a clear human shape. He chuckles, leaping forward to capture you but just before he goes under the water, he hears you whisper his name behind him.

"Jungkook~" you sing when he pulls himself out of the water.

He whips his head towards you but there's no one there. He feels a tap on his shoulder, then he sees you on the opposite side of him. Wiping the water off his face, he forces himself to process the last few seconds.

"How did you do that?!" he asks loudly.

"Do what?" you feign innocence.

"You were there," Jungkook points behind him, "then you were there," he points to the left of him, "and now you're here."

"I swim fast." you shrug, dipping beneath the water once more.

Jungkook doesn't get a chance to question you more because as you pop up from the water, your arms lock around the back of his neck, and you press your lips to his.

His mind goes blank, and all he can feel is you.

He pushes your dress up far enough to free your legs, your thighs moving to wrap around his waist. His hands hold you up, and you continue to kiss while he walks the two of you up to the beach. Collapsing onto the ground, he holds himself up above you as you disconnect your lips.

"Thank you for everything tonight, Jungkook."

Jungkook can't help his face turning red, "Anytime, baby."

With that, he connects your lips again and revels in the feeling of your body against his.

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